{"prompt":"I have a very decent name. I mean, I don't hate it and I don't love it. Long story short, my father had a name picked out when I was born and up until birth, my name was going to be name A. Then, out came me and my mother freaked out, said she hated my name that they had agreed on for the past 7 months and said she was going to divorce my father if she every heard that name again. I ended up with name B, which has no relationship to name A at all. \n\nNow I have name B. Not a problem, but the thing of it is they haven't been able for the last 20+ years to agree on how to pronounce the damn thing. Think of it like LA Ah for Leah for one, and Leah for another. Or EE-Liz-abeth or Elizabeth. Two different, but very distinct sounding names, but it's the same name. I switch between the two, and prefer one over the other. \n\nMy mother was bitching about my dad (they're divorced) over a mutual dilemma they had over my younger brother, and I finally said \"I shouldn't be surprised you all can't decide, it's been 20 years and you still can't decide on a name\"\n\nLook, my name had been a constant power struggle for both of them. I'm sick and tired of it. So AITA for bringing this up? It's a sore spot for both of them. ######","completion":" NTA you just pointed out a fact\n\nProtip :You can always change your name to assert dominance ######"}
{"prompt":"**Not recent but we are still arguing over this** \n\nMy sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.\n\nShe's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.\n\nWhen my sister was 19 she started to drink, since I wasn't living locally I only knew she had a problem about 4 years into it.\n\nShe's (28F) since cleared up her act, her partner even proposed and they're talking about having children when she's sober for long enough (she's been sober for 10months now and she wants to wait till she's been sober for 2-3 years) \n\n\n8months ago we were having dinner with my parents and I got myself and my husband a drink.\n\nThe entire family went silent, like I'd done something profoundly evil.\n\n\nAnd when my sister left my mother pulled me aside to tell me how wrong it was to drink in front of my sister who's struggling and my sisters partner hasn't had a nice word to say to  me since (we avoid each other) \n\nWell, we were on skype with the family recently and I mentioned the biggest struggle was how every  food I used to enjoy makes me nauseous now.\n\nMy sisters partner said \"oh, I'll make sure to eat that around you then like you did with *sisters name*\" in a snarky tone, my sister butted in to say he was joking.\n\nI exited the chat and told my sister I expected an apology from him.\n\nShe replied \"*where's my apology when you saw me struggling and continued to drink?*\" \n\nI don't think I did **anything** wrong! They frequently go out to meals and she wouldve seen someone drinking then, I can't shield her from every little thing.\n\nAITA? I'll apologise if I am. ######","completion":" NTAIf she can't see other people drink how the fuck is she supposed to quit?  When I quit drinking I didn't expect everyone around me to no longer enjoy the things they did in their daily lives just because I have no self control.  \nHowever you need to grow up lol jesus ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted away from the family. \n\nHe has said some very rude and offensive things to me and our other brother and uses our parents as an ATM. I can't blame my parents for helping, as it is always some dire emergency like their power is going to be shut off (the GF has two kids from two other guys who live with them) or not enough money for groceries, etc. \n\nRecently, he has refused leftovers that my mother was bringing to him for his lunch at work as the food has been in her house and is \"cursed.\" These lunch drop offs were the only in person contact my mother had with him. When he cut off the visits, it broke her heart and she cried. My mom is not a crier, so you can imagine the protective outrage throughout my family, though we didn't actually go after my brother. \n\nToday is my Mom's birthday. Usually, I would remind my brothers to wish her a happy birthday, but since every time my youngest brother calls, he asks for money and causes general disappointed heartbreak, WIBTA if I didn't remind him? There is a good chance he'll see that it's her birthday on Facebook and that will remind him to call, but if I don't, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA—your brother chose to isolate himself and scoff at your mother's kindness. \n\nMost importantly, your brother's [horrible] taste in women is not your responsibility. Maybe focus this energy into doing something nice for your mom? He seems like an energy suck. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a week ie one class for about 2\/3 hours a day. This gives her more than enough time to work and study as well. \nOnce she arrived here, I tried to help by securing a cheap room near her campus, taking her to value village (It’s like Goodwill) for fall and winter clothes, driving her to grocery shops and fast food places to drop her resume and others. I should add I live in a different town almost 2 hours away from her but I did my best to get her situated.\nUnfortunately I have been paying her rent for the 6 out of 8 months she’s been here. This is because she spent all her money on shopping sprees, taking Uber rides instead of the bus to school, ordering food and pizza all the time instead of cooking. My husband and i have adviced her constantly on doing better on several occasions.\nShe finally got a part time job a month ago and instead of paying off her rent, got an iPhone 10. She’s also on probation at school and has the potential of being withdrawn from the school.\n\nNow my mum won’t stop crying and begging me to pay for my sister’s rent and food and I refuse to do so. I offered to have her stay with us but I’m in a “village” so that’s out of the question. We can’t tell my uncle because he expected her to be able to manage what he gave her and tbh things aren’t as good as they used to be because of the virus. I should add I have a young baby and I haven’t worked in a year. My husband has put his foot down this time and won’t help because of my sister’s lifestyle\/decisions so far.\n\nSo AITA because I wouldn’t bail out my sister? ######","completion":" NTA—You’re only the asshole if you don’t tell your uncle.  He should know his money was flushed down the toilet before he gives her anymore.  DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN ######"}
{"prompt":"So background I pay for Netflix and let my brother in another state use it for him and his kids. I even made him his own profile so he can stop watching on mine, and his kids share the kid profile with mine. Well his daughter created her own and then changed the name of \"kids\" to that of her siblings. So I called him and said that that's not fair for the three kids I have that don't have their own profile (there just isn't enough for the adults and every kid to have their own) and that my kids were mad that the name of the kids profile only had his kids names. He then proceeded to yell and act like I owed him and am being vindictive and taking it out on his kids. He then stated that he can buy his own Netflix and I need to have a nice life. So I changed my Netflix password 🤷🏼‍♀️ AITA for wanting Netflix to be fair between the children? I know it's Netflix and not a big deal but for kids everything is a big deal and if my kids share a profile that just says kids why can't his kids share it too without changing the name to theirs and excluding mine when I'm the one that pays for it? After I changed it I got a phone call and got yelled at more because I'm a terrible aunt and made the kids cry, even though he said he could get his own ######","completion":" NTA—They abused your favor. They should get and pay for their own account. ######"}
{"prompt":"Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I  agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day. \nShe does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was important to my wife and she is furious with me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support someone else and their child?\n\nEdit: more info.\n\nShe enrolled her daughter in school after changing her address to my home with out my knowledge. She does help around the house but there is no financial help. I did consult with my wife before acting. Unfortunately  my requests seem to fall on deaf ears...\n\nShe will not be homeless she has a place to go. ######","completion":" NTA—it seems possible your wife may have misled you. Your SIL changing her address to yours makes it clear she planned on staying in your home long-term from the beginning. This is also your home—the topic of your SIL moving in should have been properly discussed with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2\/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2\/3 maybe 7\/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism.  They  claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics. \nThe only option would be remaking the exam.\nThe problem starts here. I did not cheat, and had a hard time in the exam. Nevertheless, I got a 93. As I hate cheaters, I would like to expose them to the professor. As he have a group chat for the generation, I have taken many screenshots of thwm sending and copying others, aa well as their plans to excuse themselves from this.\nSo, WIBTA if I send them to the prof? ######","completion":" NTA—I’d say it’s within reason to expose their cheating. \n\nThough I’d weigh if it were worth it to make everyone retake the test when the majority of the cheaters already got zeros, unless I’ve misunderstood ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a year and a half ago, my birthday was coming up and while I haven't really celebrated it since I was like 7 or 8 my dad gives me money for something I want. My buddy got tickets to a primetime football game and I asked for a ticket to that game for my birthday. He agreed to get it for me but he said I had to bring along my step brothers, I wanted to go to the game cause it was just gonna be me and my friend and I think his friend or something.\n\nI told my dad thanks but if they have to come then to just get rid of the tickets. He got disappointed but he just got rid of the tickets. I ended up not going to the game and got 20 bucks instead for my birthday, I am still pretty pissed that I wasn't able to go to the game. But my dad said \"this is my punishment for not wanting them to tag along\". AITA? ######","completion":" NTA— your dad is trying to get you guys to get along, which anybody in his position would, and it would be ideal. Unfortunately doing this in your birthday and by force is unfair and not very smart because things like this happen, and everyone resents each other. I am sorry this happened to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father\/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the \"puberty\" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a \"bro kit\" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######","completion":" NTA— When you said “bro kit” I was expecting some really inappropriate things, but then you proceded to describe basic toiletries. I don’t think there’s anything offensive or inappropriate here and I don’t know why his mom would object. Are you sure this is the case? Maybe the way you are phrasing this and the way you phrase things beforehand (in general) is giving his mom the same impression I got when I first read this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My spouse and I have a recurring argument that revolves around their desire to have our 5 year old sleep in our bed. If it were an emergency situation, my child wasn’t feeling well or there was a severe storm or something like that I am fine with them sleeping in our bed. Also, as a compromise I let our child sleep in our bed once a week, typically on a Friday night when it isn’t a work\/school night and it’s not that big a deal if we all don’t get a great night’s rest. \n\nLately, my spouse has been asking for our child to sleep in our bed at least one additional evening without much reasoning. I protest because I feel it’s unnecessary to disrupt our child’s sleep pattern (which is otherwise very good & normal!) and I personally do not sleep as well with less space in the bed, fighting over blankets and repeatedly getting woken up, etc. I put my foot down and refuse (at least once a week) causing a fight with my spouse who inevitably goes up to sleep with my child in their bed. They think I am controlling and think it is unfair my “vote” counts more than theirs in that I get the “final decision.” AITA? ######","completion":" NTA— I find that it’s really strange your spouse is the one pushing for your kid to sleep in your guys’ bed. Your spouse is preventing your child from developing some independence\/privacy and that can later be detrimental. \n\nIt seems like it’s an attachment issue for your spouse— is it anything more concerning about their behavior than just this? ######"}
{"prompt":"Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.\n\nI should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's the fact that I'm the only person in our family that (1) has a steady job and (2) has no major expenses. My partner and I lived frugally for a long time to save up an emergency fund. The loan came out of these funds.\n\nThe loan agreement is simple: $10,000 over a maximum duration of five years, paid monthly, and accruing interest rate pegged to my mortgage offset account's interest rate. There is no 'formal' contract per se (though one most likely exists at common law). But there is an understanding that she will pay the loan back as soon as possible.\n\nUnfortunately, collecting money from my cousin has been like drawing blood from a stone. My cousin is a low income earner. Which would be fine - especially because she lives at home and has no major expenses. But she also spends way beyond her means: luxury designer items, exorbitant holidays abroad, etc. Things she has no business purchasing on her income.\n\nTo put it in perspective, my cousin has had more late payments than ones paid on time. To date, she's currently three months in arrears (\\~ $500 AUD). It isn't much, I know. But it's the mere fact that I have to continually chase her up that annoys the hell out of me.\n\nSo when I saw her bragging about a new Burberry coat on her social media, I couldn't help but leave a comment to the effect of: \"You can't afford a Burberry coat. You can't even afford to pay me back for your dog's surgery\".\n\nBy the time my cousin noticed my comment, enough people were talking about it. My cousin called me up infuriated that I would out her dirty laundry. But, honestly, I'm at my wit's end. I just want her to stick to our agreement.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA— I applaud what you did. Your cousin is a huge and very brazen asshole. You may have given her the best lesson of her life because if she continues like this, she will have some very serious financial problems (if she doesn’t already have them). You have already come to her aid and now, she, a person on low income, is buying Burberry coats while she neglects her loans? WTF. Clearly you have failed to convey this same message in the past in private so you gave her a very efficient shock factor. Good for you and do not back up. ######"}
{"prompt":"For a little bit of context I understand it's not a bit deal we all have those dreams and I am over reacting on my part by just wanting to be alone for a little bit. My wife tells me she had a dream where we were all at my best friends house and i had to walk outside to do something. During this time she initiates having sex with my best friend. Come to find out I had my head taken off by a semi. When she brings it up she gets a big old smile and says \"yes I had sex with him\". The smile is what hurt me the most. So I go downstairs and after about 5 minutes she come down and starts hugging me so I push her away (Not violently or using any force or anything, I'm not an abuser). Then she goes upstairs cussing up a storm stars slamming doors and everything. I'm still currently downstairs becuase even though it's a dream it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt especially since it's with my best friend who I've known since kindergarten. Thank you for your time. ######","completion":" NTA\nYour wife's dream is fine weird stuff happens in dreams but her basically bragging to you about it and then acting like nothing is wrong is sketchy as hell ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time. \n\nTo try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas\/lentils\/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun\/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer. \n\nMy sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her.\n\nEverything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some \"real food\" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nYour sister is living rent free and complaining about what you have to eat? It sounds like she’s TA tbh. Especially if she knows your situation too. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident? \n\nTLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ######","completion":" NTA\nyour sister could have said anything but to bring up something you confided to her is wrong on many levels. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (27m) wife (26f) and I have been together since 2012. We started dating young and got married at 23. It was the greatest decision of my life. She means the world to me and then some and I love this woman. We’ve helped each other grow over the years and about a year ago we decided to start trying for a baby.\n\nA year later and no luck. So my wife made an appointment with her doctor and found out that there’s a 99.9% chance that she’ll be able to conceive naturally and that IVF is our best and only real option. So we started looking into the cost of that and we cannot swing it with our own money, we just bought a house together. We don’t have any extra spending money, though we both have great jobs. \n\nSo I decided I’d go to my mother and ask her if she would pay for it or loan us the money, because she paid for my older sister to have IVF done 2 years ago. She laughed in my face. Told me she only paid for my sisters because that’s her real daughter and that my girlfriend should ask her mom (she knows she passed away, she was being a smart ass). She suggested I find another wife that has a “working reproductive system”. \n\nKeep in mind, my parents are very wealthy people. I know they can afford it and it wouldn’t make a dent in their wallet. They just don’t want to help us. She’s always had some personal vendetta against my wife (dare I say it’s because she’s not fully white?). So I told them I was done with them, that the comments they made were disgusting and that they SHOULD be treating my wife like she’s their daughter. That this is for me as well and that it’s bullshit. \n\nFamily friends are now siding with my parents, saying that they understand why she’d pay for my sisters IVF but not mine and my wife’s. AITA for cutting them off for refusing to help us when they helped my sister? ######","completion":" NTA\nYour mother sounds horrible...\nThis isn't the only reason you're cutting her off. The way you describe it makes it seem like she's racist, and generally fairly heartless. Snide remarks about dead parents aren't funny. Telling you to find a wife with \"working reproductive system\" is abhorrent. Regardless of paying for IVF or not, if your mother is how you describe her, then cutting off her toxicity seems best.\n\nGood luck with IVF! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers? \n\nSo this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing as anorexia exists and that teenagers do such things for attention seeking. \n\nI, a generally calm person was appalled at the ignorance of my own mother. \n\nI explained that just bcoz she did not suffer from this disorder or had a smooth sailing as a teen did not mean that everyone did. I even told her that when she was free she could check out about such things. \n\nThen she began to say that how in this generation only such things came up because they were so disrespectful and hanging out with wrong crowd and coupled with social media they were bound to have such problems. \n\nI then told her that Anorexia Nervosa was an old problem and that teens during her time also suffered from it. \n\nLong story short she did believe me and we got into an argument. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for pointing out my mom's ignorance during the argument? \nShould I have kept my cool and explained her calmly about the issue and why it is important? \n\nP. S. I am sorry for any grammatical mistakes which I may have made. ######","completion":" NTA\nYour mother reminds me of my father, I had estranged him but he kinda changed now, maybe you should be even more aggressive in your response next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm going to be moving out of my toxic family's home later in may to a different city. My parents obviously responded poorly to my decision because they're both control freaks, and having me leave would mean they would no longer have any control over me. I made it clear that once I move I'm blocking them and cutting them off permanently.\nNow today my mom decided that shes going to come to the city with me for two weeks when I move so she can \"help\" me. \nI'm 18 and this woman still follows me to doctors appointments, the store, the gym, etc even though I ask her not to, and claims it's for \"emotional suport\" and shes \"helping\" me, even though she just creepily watches me for the most part. At doctors\/dentists appointments she will talk over me, not letting me tell the doctor anything, and give all the wrong information. So I know that her \"helping\" is just a way of getting control over me under the guise of generosity.\nToday I snapped and told her that I don't need her help, that I never asked for it, and her coming to the new place with me is just going to complicate things.\nShe responded by saying that I'm rude, a disrespectful and ungrateful child, saying that I never appreciate all the things that she does for me, and that she will never help me again. \nAITA for not wanting her help?\n\nEdit: You guys are right. There's a part of me that thinks that she genuinely wants to help but just doesn't know how, but reading over this thread made me realize that's not true. ######","completion":" NTA\nYour health is a very important and often personal aspect of your life. You need to feel comfortable in that office, and be able to speak freely.\n\n\nDepending on where you're at, you should be able to keep her out of the doc's office easily enough, or at least keep your appointment private. If you mention to the doctor or even assistant you do not want your mother there, they should take appropriate action. Their actions can be up to and including having her removed by security. You are over 18, you have a legal right to doctor\/patient confidentiality.\nEven if you're under 18 (here) you have rights regarding doctor\/patient confidentiality. \n\nCuriosity though, has the doctor never \"suggested\" she leave if she's that much of an hindrance? Or otherwise tried to get her to keep silent\/leave? Because if not, that's also a bit sloppy on their part. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.\n\nWe did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.\n\nWe wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it. \n\nDad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them. \n\nBoth of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it. \n\nShe never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.\n\nI was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone. \n\nMy sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.\n\nI’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.\n\nOn one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######","completion":" NTA\nYou're showing a united front of being supportive to your daughter and opening lines of communication in regards to her period. Good on the both of you!\nP.S. Don't listen to your family, they seem like they're stuck in a shitty \"periods are taboo and shameful\" mindset.\n\nEdited for spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.\n\nI (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago. \n\nMy mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was a very good man. I won't bore you with the details, but between an evil ex wife and estranged children due to ex wife, he deserved more. \n\nMy bf(30 m) has been trying to be kind and supportive-- he even brought me home all my favourite food.\n\nI had gone through facebook seeing if I could find more info on my uncle's death and only came up on my dad's Facebook. My dad died suddenly at 65 back in 2016. I loved him dearly but I hadn't seen him in 3 years as we live in different provinces... So I have a lot of guilt there. My very beloved aunt also died the night of my dad's funeral.it was a long and sad battle with cancer and I was worried she would pass away while I was burying my dad. And she did... I out while I was writing my dad's eulogy... and .It. Broke. My. Heart.\n\nSo this evening while i got teary-eyed and upset about my uncle, I said ' first my dad, then my aunt, now my uncle' to remark on the pain that their deaths caused. Other family members have died, but these ones greatly impacted me.\n\nAfter saying that, my boyfriend says \" ya. that's life\" a little dismissively. \n\nI snapped and said \" uhhh, fucking thank you? I know that's life? But it doesnt make it any less sad\".\n\nNeedless to say I got pretty short with him and told him he was being insensitive. He told me I snapped at him and he just wont say anything and will stop talking. \n\nNow I'm grieving AND have this arguement on my hands.\n\nAITA?\n\nI should also note-- my bf is normally extremely kind and sweet. He's a very empathetic person. Which is why I'm wondering if IATA or if he kind of sucks for this right now. ######","completion":" NTA\nYou wouldn’t have gotten short with him if he hadn’t said that. However maybe he just didn’t know what to say in the moment. Either way I’m really sorry for your loss. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an amateur photographer, but hoping to make this my side gig. I am relatively good at it, even though I say so myself.\n\nI often do shoots with people like beginning models, people who want to be actors, etc. Basically I do a shoot for free, they can use the pictures on their own website, or when sending out head shots to agents, etc.\nI, on the other hand keep the copyright to those pictures. I can also use them on my website, for my portfolio - or if applicable, to exhibit them at a gallery.\n\nAnyway, someone I used to be good friends with does cosplay and outright asked me if we could have a similar arrangement. \n\nThat sounded fun, so I did. At several occasions, several costumes. This took up many hours, and also cost me some money out of pocket for gas money to get to certain locations.\n\nAnyway, I had a personal falling out with her, not related to the cosplay. Following that, she wants me to delete all pictures of her.\n\nAlso, her partner apparently is making a scene over me having these pictures (which, for the record, are not x-rated).\n\nI refused, stating I put time\/editing\/money into it - and while I'd be willing to delete specific photo's if deemed offensive, but I'm unwilling to delete entire sets - and I still want to use them for portfolio's etc.\n\nAITA for refusing to delete these pictures? ######","completion":" NTA\nYou own the copyright of the photos as per the verbal agreement \n\nIn the future make sure there’s kinds of arrangements are in written contracts, even with friends ######"}
{"prompt":"I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######","completion":" NTA\nYou didn’t birth the kid. He’s not your responsibility. Tell your mom to figure something else out. You. Aren’t. The kids. Mom. She is. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ######","completion":" NTA\nYou did nothing wrong. Your ex may have been shaken because of how quickly you replied. I’m sure he felt like, “damn, she didn’t hesitate for even 1 millisecond. “ And that probably bruised his ego a little bit.\n\nMy analysis would be different, for example, if you responded “hell to the no.” (or something similarly snarky). Because that would have been over-the-top. But, your saying no, without delay, was in no way wrong or ass-hole-ish. What happened is that you caught him off-guard. He was expecting to hear something else. So, your “no” that was without delay, shook him up (at least a little bit).\n\nAnother consideration... Your ex may have been hoping that you guys could get back together at some point. Or even now.  And your immediate “no” was unexpected and hurtful.  In conclusion, you did nothing wrong. And therefore you’re not responsible for the pain he felt when you gave a quick no to his question. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan\/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nThis is understandable especially since you are in the LGBTQ+ community (and even then it’s wrong to speak so badly about them). I’m glad you are giving a different perspective to your niece and nephew.\nBe sure to take care of your own well being, if this is toxic to you you don’t need it in your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mom and my step-dad always had this rule \"My house my rules.\" Of course, I never had a problem with this as a child because all I did was watch cartoons, play with my toys and do whatever a child does. But now that I've grown up, I've started to value my privacy much more. Every time I do something on my computer, my step-dad tries to sneak up on me by going outside of the room, then walk back sneakily. Obviously, I would always hear him cause he's a muscular guy who likes to stomp wherever he walks, but the idea that he would sneak to be nosey on whatever I was doing annoys me.  \n\n\nThis happens every week with him. Also included within my privacy is the space I get. He always butts into my room without a second thought and shouts whatever he needs to say. He doesn't knock but just enters.  \n\n\nThen, my mom always wants to know what I do. She wants to know my secrets, she even checked through my emails and text messages. I spoke out to her about it and she got really annoyed that I did, and that I wanted to keep secrets from her and her husband. Apparently I'm just being paranoid and if I wanted to keep my privacy I should move out to another family. (I'm 14 so I don't have any money, and all my relatives are in another country.)  \n\n\nAm I the asshole or is it just me being entitled? ######","completion":" NTA\nThey just don‘t wanna see their little sunshine growing up and getting independent.\nA wish for privacy is something very normal\nYour Mum kinda sucks here, looking through messages that aren’t meant for her is a total No-Go! ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.\n\nA clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.\n\nI joked \"Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon.\" My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.\n\nLater that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.\n\nShe got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.\n\nIt went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.\n\nWe haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nThat wasnt an \"inappropriate joke\". I was expecting it to be explicit or something. \n\nThe fact that children in grade 5 dont know where babies come from is kind of wild to me. Its best you guys explain it than have the internet misinform them and warp their perception of sex\/relationships\/reproduction. Maybe have a proper talk with her and calmly explain you guys are partners in raising children and say you want to tackle it as partners? Then drive the conversation to a \"in your ideal world, how would the sex talk go and what would it look like\". ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)\n\nI (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us. \n\nI'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking \"old.\" She has had botox\/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes\/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.\n\nSince getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles. \n\nWe argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it. \n\nRecently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.\n\nTL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######","completion":" NTA\nShe is the one who played the game constantly needing the ego boosts. \nTell her to let it go and that you’re happy the way you are. \n But if she pulls that crap again. You’ll do it again. ######"}
{"prompt":"For some context, my girlfriend and I have recently had a son, yay!! But every time my mom sees him she acts like he is her boy. This has been going on every time that she talks about him since he was born on March 21st. So, would I be the asshole for telling her that my son is not specifically her gradbaby, and is my and my gfs son?\nEdit(adding info):\nIt stresses the wifey out a lot as my mom is constantly trying to take over caring of him. She is also almost constantly complaining that she doesn't get to spend much time with him as we dont leave her alone with him much. She also refers to him as \"My baby\".\nEdit2(behavioral stuff??):\nMy mom is almost constantly hovering, just informed of this through wifey, and she has on a couple occasions told the wifey that she is changing his diaper wrong in a very condescending tone. Then whenever the wifey and I are trying to do something, like make him a new bottle, she will come in and pick him up then complain that we don't take care of him well or that she is the only one taking care of him. ######","completion":" NTA\nShe got to raise her kids, this is your opportunity to parent.  As a grandparent she should be taking her cues from you and your wife, not giving them to you.  Asking for some room to parent isnt \"taking\" anything from her, and if she were to chill an iota, I bet you would both be willing to offer more.\n\nTry the book boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free. \nSo AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ######","completion":" NTA\nShe doesn’t NEED the cash, and it’s yours ######"}
{"prompt":"I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.   \n\n\nWe opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress  and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)  \n\n\nThe laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.   \n\n\nI could go on, but I think you get the idea. \nEdit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.\n\nI took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence. \n\nHonestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?\n\nEdit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ######","completion":" NTA\nReport that. Those kids can’t live like that, all you’d be doing is trying to protect them ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time.  I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my dad didn't matter other than the 3 days every other week I was at his place.  \n\nI never really liked having a new family cause I had a family and it was uprooted and had a brand new one in less than 2 years.  The kids felt almost the exact same way cause their dad rushed things just as bad.  The \"family\" didn't blend at all, and when I turned 15 I started spending a lot of my time at my dad's.  I hold no grudge against the steps but they aren't my family and if asked they would say the same about me.  Only reason I don't live with him full time is cause its pretty bad and is literally lopsided.\n\nI don't know what happened and he's never done this before but when I came over there he started to lecture me about the importance of \"family\" and that I should try to get to know my \"siblings\" more.  That struck a cord cause it sounds something almost exactly like what my mom would say and I told him that he was sounding like mom and left the house.  I spent the night at my friend's house before returning to my mom's.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nRelationships can’t be forced. I hate when parents do this kind of stuff. It works to be counterproductive. Family relationships are important but no one is going to be super close with every single family member. It is what it is. They can’t force you to cherish a bond that was never there in the first place. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted. \n\nOf course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.\n\nShe ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######","completion":" NTA\nLet her pay you for all the free babysitting you've been doing (assuming you did it more than once), take $70 of said money, give it back to your sister for the cleaning.\nProblem solved.\nHonestly, if you don't leave clear instructions while leaving someone else with your child in your place, you just have to live with the outcome. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nBeen debating posting this in case my girlfriend sees so I made a throw away.\n\nMy (26M) girlfriend (25F) has been complaining for absolutely ages about her phone, it’s an IPhone 5.\n\nSo for her birthday I upgraded her phone to the latest iPhone, it’s an expensive contract (£80 a month) I’d rather not have spent that much but she uses her phone a lot, we have two children (6F & 4F) so she takes a ton of photos and the children are always on her phone, it’s just an overall improvement?\n\n\nShe was really excited about it, but a week later I found out she had posted it on FB marketplace and had sold it to someone (person hadn’t collected) \n\nSo now I’m left footing £80 a month for an iPhone 5.\n\nI told her to get a job, I’m not going to pay that off forever because I was only willing to pay it for a decent phone.\n\nShe’s upset because being a SAHM is a job and she would’ve never agreed to £80 a month phone so just because I did something stupid doesn’t mean she should have to pay for it, she didn’t need such a good phone.\n\nI’m at work so we haven’t really spoken about it, but she’s incredibly upset and has been adding up everything she does for me.\n\n(I do the ironing, garden work, DIY, walk the dog, cooking, bathe the children, work out our finances for the month and go to work from 5am-6pm, including travel time, so  50\/50?) \n\nAITA?\n\n**Also, before I get told  “you shouldn’t have had two children before marriage, we only have one together and I’m considering proposing soon** ######","completion":" NTA\nIt’s really rude to sell a gift.\nBtw if this is how she usually is I would really reconsider the proposal. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI (16f) am trying to lose weight. I was obese, and I’m closer to a healthy weight now that I’ve learned some better eating and exercise habits. Earlier tonight for dinner, I decided to make pizza. \n\nThe pizza was made with cauliflower crust, ricotta cheese and topped with broccoli and chicken — I wanted to make it as nutritious as possible. \n\nWhen it was ready, my brother (14) asked for a piece and I gave him one. He told me it was good, and then said “I thought you were trying to lose weight”. I told him that the pizza was actually very healthy, and told him what was in it. He then stopped eating it, and went to my dad. \n\nMy dad went off, telling me not to drag the test of the family into my “vegan nonsense”. I’m not vegan, first of all, and then told him that maybe if he hadn’t let me get fat in the first place, I wouldn’t be making this type of food. \n\nI know the argument went a little off topic, but I was angry. My parents have been berating me from day one, telling me I couldn’t do it, and deep down I knew it was their fault that I had gotten to that point. My dad told me to get out of his sight after a while of arguing. \n\nAITA for bringing it in, even though it was unrelated? ######","completion":" NTA\nIt’s not even vegetarian, let alone vegan. I don’t get his point. On another note why did your brother stop eating it? He initially thought it was good before you told him. And then why did he tell your dad? None of this makes sense. \n\nGood job on your weight loss and it’s great that you’re trying to eat healthy. I don’t think you mentioning his part in your obesity is unrelated because if he and your mom caused your obesity, they are the reason you even want to make this healthy pizza. Don’t let them bring you down.\n\nYour pizza sounds super good. I wonder what cauliflower crust tastes like. XD ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister is 25f I am 20f, I currently go to college and my sister is a house wife.\n\nRecently my sister found out she could not have children. For the longest time she wanted kids so I obviously felt bad for her. Well about 2 weeks ago she came to me and asked if I could be her surrogate and that she would pay for all the expenses including an apartment so I wouldn't have to live with my parents.\n\nI told her no immediately because i'm in college and I know how my sister gets when she doesn't get her way. She basically called me a bitch and how I wasn't going to let her be a mom and other bullshit. I just told her that if she wants to be a mom, adopt a kid because there are so many children in the world that need a family. She said she didn't want a used kid she wanted someone who was related to her.\n\nAfter I told this to my parents my dad was on my side completely and told me that I was too young to even be asked that question. But my mother blew up at me saying that I was a bitch because i'm preventing her and my sister for being a mother and a grandmother. I have received messages from family members and friends of my sister saying that I was being completely unreasonable and how they wouldn't talk to me again unless I apologized to my sister.\n\nI sort of get why I could be the asshole because my sister wanted to be a mom for so long, but if I was graduated from college and at a steady place I would have said yes to her.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\nIt's your body and your sister isn't entitled to it. Based on how she acted, don't think you shoukd be a surrogate for her even when you are in a better place. It seems like it would be an insufferable 9 months.\n\nAlso,\n\n>She said she didn't want a used kid she wanted someone who was related to her.\n\nYou sister is disgusting for saying that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.\n\nSo, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc) \nSo for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women) \nTo my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.\nI left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her. \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nIt's a wedding at India, with Indian relatives, she wouldn't dare to do this with your cousin's mother, for example (idk which one of your cousin's parents is Indian).  Is just disrespectful of her, not just personally but culturally (at least from my point of view)\nBesides, you told her that you would change for a longer dress, you were willing to compromise. But she just threw a tantrum and made people against you.\nSorry that this has happened to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are relatively well off and bought a house a few months ago. We decided to rent out our second room to help pay off school debt.  We rented it for a few months and our tenant asked to move out and buying his own house. We're sad to see him go but it is a better situation for him. \n\nMy parents are very well off. But my dad works in events has been furloughed to part time and they are bored. When I told my parents we were going to start looking for another roomate they (I know this is extra) asked to rent the room out from us so they wouldn't have to find a hotel when they visit. I guess one of their friends is doing this with their kids. They could actually probably save money on hotels. Since we live in a big city, and my dad and I love doing home projects they will not get bored and I get to see them more. They said they would ask first before they visit (which they will they are very polite) We both have great relationships with both our parents and everyone gets along. My husband loves the idea of basically getting our house to ourselves again and not getting a full time roomate.\n\nMy husband was talking to his parents today and basically offered the room to them when they visit. I basically told him we cannot do that on the account of\n\n1. My parents are going to furnish the room and I don't know if they want other people in their bed\n\n2. It's now my parents rental and therefore their space that they pay for and we should treat it as if they own it\n\n3. I do not feel comfortable asking my parents to let other people stay, or asking my in-laws to ask my parents permission. I feel like they have to offer it to us. I wouldn't expect that of a roommate either so why would I expect that of my parents.\n\nI love my in laws and I love to have them visit but I do not want to take my parents for granted. ######","completion":" NTA\nIf your parents pay rent then they're lodgers, that's officially their space and not your husbands to offer out anymore. It's effectively not a part of your house anymore.\n\nEdit. A word ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range. \n\nAt first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm. \n\nAs of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws. \n\n WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######","completion":" NTA\nIf the neighbors are shooting late at night to the point that it’s disrupts everyone’s sleep you are well within your rights to call the sheriffs to report it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 15f. My mom is 35f. Before the pandemic started, my mom’s friend and her two kids (friend is 36f, kids are 12f and 14f) came to stay with us, and are still here.\n\nThe friend’s kids are annoying, which I can deal with, it’s not an issue. But they’re also using my hygienic things, like my razor, my special soaps\/hair products that I bought for my hair and put my name on. They’ve also been drinking after me. And they got into my prescribed pain killers that I got last week, my iron supplements, my last pack of birth control, and the stash of snacks I keep in my false bottom drawer in my room. They are also harassing my cat and tearing tufts of his fur out. I told my mom about this, she didn’t seem to care.\n\nMy mom’s friend, their mom, has also been an issue. She’s been smoking weed in the basement, which wouldn’t be an issue except she smokes enough of it to cause the entire house to smell like it, and causes me not to be able to breathe. Mom’s friend goes out partying, gets drunk, and hangs out with my mom in her room pretty much 24\/7. I’ve been sick and unable to keep food down this week, and I’ve been ignored by my mom because she’s hanging out with her friend. Mom’s friend is also helping her kids in eating pretty much everything in the fridge before I get a chance to get to it.\n\nI told my mom we needed to have a serious talk yesterday, and made her sit down and talk to me. I told her what her friend’s kids were doing, and then I straight up told her that her friend was causing my legitimate distress because apparently her presence was enough to make my mom stop acknowledging my existence. My mom told me that I didn’t need to have this conversation with her, and that I was being a rude spoiled brat. She’s gone back to ignoring me, and I am still sick. AITA for telling my mom our guests are causing me problems? ######","completion":" NTA\nI would secretly call CPS to get that whole dealio of weed sorted out and it’ll give a reality check to the whole household. Don’t smug afterwards though. Hide your snacks, products, anything you want and is YOURS. They don’t care, neither should you. Not all in one place though so if they press you, you got spots and places yk? ######"}
{"prompt":"I knitted this blanket for my friend’s birthday. It took me three weeks since I’m new at knitting. There were some mistakes such as dropped stitches but I worked really hard and it has quite intricate stitching. My boyfriend said that I should just buy the friend a blanket because knowing them they would freak out about the imperfection but I sent it anyways. So my boyfriend was right and they didn’t appreciate the gift. I’m embarrassed now and mortified to give my knitted gifts out. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nI would feel so honored if someone gave me a gift that they spent so much time and effort on.\n\nI actually did something similar. I can (kinda) crochet. So before my first niece was born I tried to knit an extra thick blanket. I ended up running out of yarn and it became a really ugly mattress pad. \n\nI gave it to my brother and sister-in-law anyways. They put it in her cradle and she carried around during her first year of life. When she learned to crawl and walk.\n\nEventhough it was the ugliest thing I've ever made, they cherished it. That's how your \"friend\" should've reacted. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.\n\nThis really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nI guess you are both struggling with the issue about your father. Counseling or therapy maybe? ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin, who we will call Lia, is from America, her mother married my uncle, yeah yeah. Shes a cousin now. She's 14. And shes obsessed with Asian culture. She often talks about Korean culture and all she listens to is Kpop. She doesn't really respect me or my family (Important: we're from Thailand). She often asks me about Korean music (Which I don't listen to) and i'm beginning to think she thinks I'M Korean? She gets excited when I talk to her and asks about Korean culture and tells me little \"facts\" about Korea. Last night I was calling her, and she went on and on about Korea, I barely spoke at all. Eventually I asked her if we could talk about something else, she ignored me. I had a major headache and snapped at her, I told her to move on with her unhealthy obsession. She got choked up and ended the call and I've been feeling guilty all day. Her Mother sent a long text about how I \"hurt her\" and should \"mind my own business\". AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nI don’t think she realizes that Asia is not just one country. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me.\n\nA part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating a pattern of running and walking as prompted by audio cues from the app. Last week was 60 seconds of walking with 15 seconds of running.\n\nSomeone who was sharing the outside space with me seemed to think I could do better, and that I wanted his instruction\/encouragement to get 'better'. He matched my pace and was telling me to \"keep going\" and \"you can run longer than that\".\n\nI told him \"thanks, but I'm doing c25k\". Then the next time, \"I'm doing intervals.\" After the third time I snapped and went \"piss off and leave me alone already\".\n\nApparently that made me an \"ungrateful bitch\" (which he yelled at me again today), but he at least fucked off. AITA for phrasing it the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA\nI don't know what I'm doing when I'm running, but I'd get annoyed if strangers couldn't take a polite \"no, thank you\". ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an exec at a start-up, due to COVID we needed to lay some people off. Only about 5% of our staff and I was told to make a 1 cut in our operations and strat team. The person I chose to let go is named Sara and is like 23, and has been with us for a year.  On that team we have 5 people and a couple months back we had a happy hour and went to a bar with a bunch of people from our company. Sara got a little tipsy and I was walking by her and a couple of other women in the office on my way to the washroom at the bar when I heard her loudly say that she thinks I have the smallest dick in the office due to me being Asian and not having \"big dick energy\". This was pretty racist in my opinion but she and the other people didnt notice me pass by and hear this. \n\nI didn't change my attitude towards her or anything in any way since then but when making the layoff today I laid her off because of it. It was basically the same to lay anyone off in the dept, they all work the same and are all talented on the same level and she's a good worker. \n\nI told my buddy this and he just laughed his ass off but called me a bit of an asshole, but I don't think I am, she's racist and obviously you should be more coy about insulting the boss. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nHer comments should have had disciplinary consequences straight away, but if what you said about the team-members all being equally valuable is true, and you have indeed considered that first, you are not the AH for choosing her for inappropriate behaviour in the past.\n\nI imagine this is gonna be a bit divisive but if OP was female and heard someone talking about her „flat chest energy“, I believe that the verdict would be close go unanimous NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"First time posting here so forgive any improper etiquette. About a week ago my sister and her 8 year old son came over for lunch. I have a very good relationship with her and my nephew, so they come over here quite often. Lately He's been getting into Star Wars, which I think is great because I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Throughout the past few weeks I've made sure to keep him interested, and usually have a Star Wars themed gift for him when they come over. For this particular visit, I had bought him a Star Wars Lego set. Not a particularly big one, but nonetheless with Lego's prices it was still $50. Anyway, my sister and I are talking at the table while he's building the Lego set in the living room. He runs back to the table incredibly excited and barely speaking coherently. By the time we stand up from the table he's already ran to my bedroom. (I usually keep the door closed but I guess I forgot) When we get there he's jumping up and down and pointing at my lightsaber that's hanging on the wall. Naturally he then proceeds to ask, \"Can I see it?\" Even I play with it sometimes so I can see how an eight year old couldn't resist. I tell him no and then go to steer him out of my bedroom when my sister asks \"Why can't he play with it?\" I try to explain to her that it's very expensive, at which point she asks how much. When I reluctantly tell her that it cost me $825 she looks appalled, but still insists that he would be careful and wouldn't break it. At this point she's rather upset and we get in an argument because \"I don't want to share my toys\". They both left shortly after that. We're not really fighting anymore, but she's still very much annoyed and thinks that I'm wrong to not let her son play with my lightsaber regardless of how much it costs. AITA?\n\n[This is the lightsaber in question](https:\/\/vadersvault.com\/the-revanchist\/) ######","completion":" NTA\nEven though he doesn't want to, he can easily break it. He's too small, his fine motor skills are not fully developed yet so he can easily drop it by accident while trying to be careful with it. And he's too small to understand the value of such things. \nYou can maybe get him and yourself some cheaper toy lightsabers and play with those, I'm sure he would be just as excited about that too :) ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52. \n\nI got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37\/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.\n\nWell when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.\n\nI know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.\n\nI did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ######","completion":" NTA\nDude, that sounds like a nightmare. Idk what our parent's logic is sometimes. Sorry you had to wake up to ass and an ass-class. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for obvious reasons. \n\nSo, I was a sperm donor, and now 20 years later, someone reached out and told me that I'm their father, and they want to be in contact with me.\nI said no, I thought that was it. \n\nBut she keeps contacting me, she really wants to be in contact with me, get to know her father, etc. \n\nI think I said no about 7 or 8 times now.\n\nMy wife thinks I'm being mean because she clearly wont stop asking, so this must be really important to her.\n\nThe thing is... as mean and rude as this sounds... I just dont care about this girl, I dont see her as my daughter, I dont want to be her father. And as crude as this sounds... I didn't jizz in a bottle to become a father (bit without responsiblity) so that the child turns up later and *then* I'll be a dad, I did it to make money. I knew that the possibility for some kid turning up at my doorstep was there, but I just thought I could say no and that's it. \n\nMy Wife thinks I'm TA because this girl clearly wants a father, or atleast to know me, she says I should atleast meet up with her.\n\nI would be okay with that after she asked a second time or something, but she asked 8 times now, im afraid that if I say yes, then this girl will see something in that, that is just not there, because the reality is, I just dont care about her, she's a stranger to me.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nDont make her hope\nHow did she even get your infos? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so immediately that title makes me look like a total fucking douche, but let me elaborate. \n\nMy friend Charlie and I recently rekindled our friendship, among rekindling our entire high school friend group, after the group broke up and went no contact for roughly 8 months. The group consisted of about twenty people and went strong from Freshman year until just before Senior year, so about 3 years. \n\nAnyway, while conversing with everyone one on one and rebuilding connections with different people, it comes up that one of my closest friends from those days, Charlie, has been voicing that I owe him $400 fucking dollars in GAS MONEY from the days when he’d drive me and other friends in his car, like sophomore year, so ya know, 2 years ago. He literally wants money for actions that he never asked money for. Not one time in our friendship or in our endeavors did he ever mention wanting gas money or any type of payment. \n\nAnd it’s not like we were just using this dude for rides; for reference, Charlie and I used to have a system where every time we went out to eat, we’d take turns paying for each other’s meal. It was just a cool courtesy tradition thing, and neither of us thought much of it. Charlie was one of my best friends, but this is ridiculous. \n\nIf I genuinely felt I owed him $400, I’d pay him no question. But I do not believe I owe him a fucking dime. He offered to be the one behind the wheel all those times, despite other friends of ours also having cars and licenses. Frankly, this sounds like a cash grab for absolutely no reason. \n\nAnd yes, he is completely dead serious and has voiced this directly to my face as well. He refuses to move forward until I pay him. He doesn’t want payment from the other friends he also drove around, literally just me.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\nDon’t give him a penny \nHis demand is unreasonable and stupid beyond belief \nYou said he works two jobs? I bet his job aren’t that good. If his parents were well off he probably was given cash by his parents and spent more than he could afford in the past. Now he wants to keep living beyond his means\nDon’t pay him ######"}
{"prompt":"Info:  \n\nMy husband and I live in a flat and just over a month ago took on a flatmate of a similar age.\n\nWe all get on pretty well but she keeps alluding to wanting us to share our meals as she doesn't cook for herself outside of freezer meals.\n\n I'm totally not wanting to be a stingy bitch, but she still has a paying job  and time to make herself food, whilst I'm supporting my husband whose employers went under just before we got shut in (paying rent and food).\n\nShe also moved here from her parent's place so I'm wondering if she's used to having all of this done for her. It was never part of the agreement that food would be provided. \n\nAm I a dick if I politely ensure there's only enough for myself and husband when I cook or making a point of casually saying \"Husband and I are having XX for dinner tonight, did you want me to leave the oven on for you etc.\" ..? ######","completion":" NTA\nDon't be coy or give hints with your response, the best way to set up boundaries early in the relationship is to be very clear. If you do it once, it will be even more awkward afterwards.\nI would say this:\n\"Housemate, I will not be cooking meals for you. If you don't know how to cook, I am happy to give you tips for simple and easy meals\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Short and quick post.\n\nI am 15M and have been saving my money (£500) for about a few months. This money is in cash in my secret safe in my room. My parents are key workers meaning they still have a steady income. Last week my mum offered to clean my room which was somewhat sketchy but I agreed. At the time I wasn't thinking about the money until I wanted to buy something from my local shop. Surprise surprise when I checked, the money was gone. I was quite furious and confronted with my mum. I asked her where it is and she said that she would put it in my savings (which I can't even touch till I'm 18). I haven't spoken to my mum since then and I'm not intending too. \n\nAITA for being mad tho? ######","completion":" NTA\nChances are she took your money and kept it and used putting it in savings as an excuse ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy wife and I have a 16 w\/o baby who understandably is taking up all of our time. First baby for both of us and it’s been quite overwhelming since babs was premature and there have been some touch and go moments with her health. \n\nMy wife has also suffered with a lot of weight loss and decreased appetite so she struggles to find things she likes to eat.\n\nI have been doing all the shopping which at the moment is difficult, you need to queue outside the shops (roughly 30 mins) and then once you’re in follow a one way system in order to get your things. Thereafter you queue up again (about 15 mins) to pay up. \n\nMy wife has been getting a bit aggy with me not only because a) I’m not able to find some things from the shop but b) because I’m not getting her preferred ingredients. For example if she wants Robinson’s jam and there isn’t any I’ll grab Asda jam, but she expects me to go to 2 or 3 different shops in order to get the name brand. \n\nI did this at first but it’s beginning to get quite tiresome especially because I still have to work (key worker) and my shifts are about 12-13 hours. I’m tired, I don’t want to be running around going to every single different shop. I usually go after work and by that time the shelves are pretty much empty. \n\nI told her she would unfortunately need to make do for now, cue lots of tears and her raging at me that I have 1 simple job and that’s to feed her and baby and I’m a lazy bastard.\n\nI apologised and said I will always do my best but I honestly can’t go around to 2 or 3 shops every single time we don’t have her preferred brand of rice or whatever- we don’t have any little shops in my area because it’s rural and so I need to travel out to the big shops which are spaced apart and it’s wearing me out. \n\nShe has been passive aggressively texting her mum AND my mum about me and both of these women (who I genuinely am close to) are of the opinion I am the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA\nBy increasing your visits to multiple shops, you are increasing the risk of:\na) you being exposed, which puts not only you, but her and bubs, at risk\nb) you spreading more germs to more places, which increases the risk for others, who may or may not be vulnerable\n\nYou absolutely should not be doing this for the sake of a “name brand” item. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was in a video call with people from school there was 34 of us. I was wearing my hair in two braids it’s a traditional hairstyle from my tribe (I’m Native American) a couple of the African kids started say I was appropriating black culture by having braids. I tried to explain to them why I had it like that it’s part of our creation story. They started talking shit about it. I got mad at them and said “a lot of different people throughout history wore braids” I was accused of being a racist and appropriating black culture.\n\nNone of the people in the call defended me I’m the only native kid at the school. They called me a redskin and other slurs and my funny of my religion I was threatened if I had my hair like that I quote\n “we will cut those shit braids out of your hair and burn them you racist pile of shit” \n\nI left the call, I thought someone would stand up for me. But apparently it was okay for the African kids too act horrible because they were oppressed ######","completion":" NTA\nBraids have been universally in use even in ancient China.\n\nI see it how they accuse you of being racist and then proceed to call you a red skin etc. Is this that anti-racism? ######"}
{"prompt":"A little context: I am 19f, the sister in the conflict is 14f, the sister who told me is 16f. I do not live at home, but they do live with my mother. \n\nAround a week ago my sister (16f) called to tell me that my mother had gotten my 14 year old sister a vape. I was shocked as my mom had caught the 16 year old sister with a vape a few months ago and chewed her out for it. \n\nThe vape she was using had nicotine in it. My mom herself vapes, but she smoked cigarettes for like 15 years, quit, remarried someone who vapes, and started vaping. \n\nI texted my mom and asked her why she would buy a 14 year old a vape. She currently lives with my grandmother who is not a fan of this at all. I called my grandmother and told her and she was unaware of any of it and was very angry. \n\nMy mother got mad and told me I had “no right” to call her. To which I replied it is my right because it is my sister who she is allowing to destroy her lungs. This went back and forth and even the 14y\/o messaged me angry because she wanted to keep vaping. \n\nEventually they tried to play it off as a “joke” to see how my sister and I would “react”. This was an absolute lie as they would not pull something like this. They just got caught and were back tracking their statements, it’s easy to see. \n\nAfter arguing my point of the harmful affects of vaping and the unknowns, I told my mom if I saw or heard anything of it again, I was calling CPS on her. \n\nShe of course made me the AH, but lung cancer runs in our family, having several family members die from it. Also my mom and my sister are no where near physically fit or healthy and have been warned by doctors many times because they have so many health issues already. \n\nIf my sister wants to vape when she’s old enough to know what she’s doing to herself, then fine that’s her own choice, but I won’t stand by and let my mom allow this for a girl who already struggles in her health when she can’t even legally drive yet. \n\nAITAH here? ######","completion":" NTA\nAt all! Vaping at such a young age could have side effects that are long term. If she’s doing it because it’s “popular” amongst peers, she shouldn’t. You definitely should because YOUR MOTHER bought the vape for her ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nMy mom cheated on my dad and went and married  her friend who is single.  I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job. \n\nI live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I  have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is  doing. \n\nI  also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and  helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom.\n\nAnyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is  25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account.\n\nI told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child.\n\nShe emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially   and blocked her on ,y work  email.\n\nI saw my mom on  face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and  how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as  I feel a little bit bad  she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######","completion":" NTA\nAny mom who complains about how their kid is not supporting them through social media (air out family dirty laundry) is bad news.  So what if you help your dad.  He is your dad, were you suppose to let him sleep on the street?  Your mom just sound bad and bad the more you think about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to my family I had an opportunity to learn multiple languages from a young age.   12 to be exact.   So after I joined the military and learned about FLPP I was making very good pay while basicly living on board a floating city.   Since then I have developed the nickname tongues. Goonies referance im guessing. After 8 years and 3 tours I had to call my military career done.  And transer to a civilian market. I got a simple job working private security.  Drive a nice Benz and am an avid firearms collector.  When i go out with friends they always think since I can afford the tab I should pay.    The way I see it if its my idea then It should be my dime  if I say hey lets all go out to eat then I would offer to pay for everything.    I've done this a few times but they just want to party on my dime.   One night I get invited out and we all started drinking.  I pull the bartender aside and tell them my tab would be separate from the groups  and to keep an eye on us.  After I had my 3rd shot of liquor and maybe my 5th beer I summon an lyft and go home.  An few hours later my cell starts ringing. Its the bartender My friends told the bartender i was supposed to pay,  they managed to run up a nearly 500 dollar tab and if they can't pay the police will have to be called.  I just hung up and went back to sleep. ######","completion":" NTA\nAlthough you'd think the bartender would put two and two together when you asked to keep your tab seperate. I'd seriously reconsider my friends if I were you - I mean really, with friends like these... ######"}
{"prompt":"Sometimes I like to get high then go for a long walk with headphones in and just get lost in the music I'm listening to. It gets me outside, get me moving, and I feel super happy and relaxed when I get back inside. \n\nYesterday I decided to roll a joint and smoke it as I walk. Usually I do this at night, or smoke before leaving the house if its day time. Yesterday I did not (it was about 3-4pm). I smoked half, walked for about an hour, then decided to smoke the other half. As I'm lighting up and taking a couple puffs, a lady sitting in her yard with a kid (preteen I guess? 12-14 ish) put her hands up with a wtf look on her face and yells to me that I can't be smoking weed out on the streets like that. Now I know she didnt mean legally, as I live in Canada and it's been legal for over a year by now. She obviously meant morally, I assume because her kid was outside seeing this too.\n\nI didnt think it was a big deal, but it immediately ruined my buzz and I spent the rest of the walk worrying that I'm being disrespectful or maybe just unintentionally promoting something negative?  I dont know.. should I just make a point of smoking beforehand or is it okay to smoke outside on a walk the same way one would smoke a cigarette? ######","completion":" NTA\nAlso a Canadian. The law is that you are allowed to smoke anywhere someone could smoke cigarettes. If anyone does not like it, they can write their local government. Until then, you have the absolute legal right to do what you did and no one has any right to prevent you. If the neighbours don’t like it they should be prepared for me to complain when they bbq or play loud music or drink in public, or run their loud motorcycles and snowmobiles. Trust me I have long list of things that non-smokers do that annoy me too, I don’t make a federal case out of it because I have no right to complain about someone following the law. \nSmoke em if you got em fellas. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, I was talking in a group chat and this one person who I would be friendly with started to text in homophobic slurs, saying 'all gays should be sent away' etc. These comments have been a recurring issue with this guy for years and he has seemed never to back down on them even after I and others condemn them.  \n\nHere's where it gets messy.\n\nI sent the company he works for part-time an email asking them to have a conversation with him and included some screenshots of the slurs used. They fired him within hours. I didn't mean for him to get fired, only to have a conversation with him however I still have very little sympathy for him. He has texted back at me and is understandably very annoyed. Apparently, he had apologised to others but not me yet.  Am I the asshole?\n\n​\n\nTLDR: Friend was homphobic so I emailed his employer who subsequently fired him. ######","completion":" NTA\nActions have consequences and a company can't keep someone with a (intolerant) mindset that will inevitably hurt the company.\nEspecially if it goes against company policy or if the person was in direct contact with customers. ######"}
{"prompt":" AITA: Backstory, I come from a big Mormon family. My mom has 5 siblings, and 5 step siblings. My dad has 8 siblings. I left the Mormon church a five years ago. I have a bad relationship with my dad, two of my siblings and my dad's whole family. Most of them haven't talked to me in years, and when my little brother died 2 years ago half of them didn't talk to me at his funeral. I am close with a lot of my mother's family excluding a couple of her step siblings and one of my aunt's.\n\nI don't want to invite my dad's side of the family if they can't even talk to me at my own brothers funeral. On my mom's side of the family I have one aunt that is a raging bitch. She hates me for reason's I don't know. Hell she hates almost everyone for reasons we don't know. At my brother's funeral she told me my bf (we had only been dating 6 months, and she had never met him or even heard of him) was using me, she said this in front of my whole family. Then the next Christmas she bought every niece a Christmas present besides me, (I don't care about the present, it was the spite that hurt me). My bf and I are talking about getting married soon, and I've talked to a few family members who say I have to invite her and her family. Her husband is the only one who treats me good, her kids and their spouses don't even acknowledge me .I'm sure if I don't invite my dad's side of the family he won't even come to my wedding.  It has become a huge debate, and to be honest I don't feel the need to spend extra money for 60 people who don't even treat me well.. AITA for excluding my whole dad's side of the family and her family from coming to our wedding? ######","completion":" NTA\nA wedding isn't a family event, a wedding is about you and your hubby enjoying and showing off how much you care about each other to the people who mean alot to each other. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the last year my (26f)  roommate (26m)  has been leaving poop on the seat whenever he goes to the bathroom. Me and my wife have had several discussions asking him to please clean it and countless \"I'll make sure to double check\" in response. Usually I'm the one that cleans it up and I politely ask him to please be more mindful.\n\nHere's where I might be the asshole. Today I went into the bathroom and saw poop smeared everywhere. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to clean and I got pretty mad. So after I cleaned it I yelled at him and said \"seriously you have to be the most inconsiderate dickhole in the entire world. I'm so sick of cleaning up your disgusting messes. There's no way you're doing this by accident anymore.\" \n\nI thought I was in the right but he started crying and told my wife that I'm making it up and trying to ruin their friendship. He said he's at the end of his rope and I'm a horrible person. I feel really guilty now. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour wife should be backing you on this, too. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway on my friend’s account.\n\nSo I (26F) have a sister (22F) who I’ll refer to as Lily. When I was 17 and my sister was 13, our father passed away and we were left with a pretty big sum of money each that would cover university, rent, groceries and the down payment of our future house (we were given the same amount each). My mother split our money into separate bank accounts (one for tuition, one for rent etc) so that we could stay organized. We only had access to the tuition money and grocery money as our mother helped us pay for rent (she would give us the money for a house when we get there in the future). The second Lily reached 20 years old, she blew two semesters worth of payment on lots of cosmetic procedures like braces, double eyelid surgery, lip fillers and lash extensions. Last two semesters when she couldn’t pay she asked me to. I asked her where her money went and she said she got cosmetic procedures (I haven’t seen her in two years so I didn’t know). I straight up told her no because cosmetic procedures were a want and not a need so she is responsible for wasting it. She went crazy telling me how I hit the genetic lottery and how I had a perfect face that never needed fixing (I had straight teeth without braces, long lashes and double eye lids) She went on a whole rant on how I never felt her pain. I felt bad so I offered to lend her money but she would have to pay me back later(no interest fee). She got even more mad and started yelling at me and calling me selfish and that I had a job and could easily help her but choose not to. I repeated that I could lend her money but she wouldn’t listen and wanted me to pay for her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour sister sounds entitled as all hell. Bad with money too. It's not your job to bail her out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.\n\nLast week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).\n\nIt was all good till their \"night activities\" woke me up in the middle of the night. Her flat is large and out bedrooms are at the opposite ends of the hall. So that meant they were loud. \n\nI hoped it'd end soon, but they were in for a ride. I tried headphones with music, I didn't hear them, but couldn't sleep with loud music blasting. I didn't say anything as it was their first night and thought they'd tire each other out. \n\nWell, same thing next night. I was knackered the morning after, plus I learned the boyfriend would probably come around more than 3 times.\n\nAt the point I started to ponder getting back to my parents, as I have insomnia and it could mess my entire sleep schedule.\n\nI told my sister I forgot helping my friend with chemistry and my mum picked me up.\n\nShe couldn't wrap her head around and constantly asked me. She probably knew I was lying as we know each other well. She asked me if she had done something wrong, I told her no and we'd do the same thing next month (her boyfriend would be abroad), but she wasn't having it.\n\nEventually I told her, I couldn't sleep as I heard them shagging and she was shocked.\n\nShe even brough it up at our family dinner, which was super embarrassing, because I hadn't told my parents. And it looked like she was mad at me. My paretns didn't want dive in, but told her it'd be good if It could be arranged that I wouldn't sleep there when her bf did. \n\nShe got upset, calling me nosy and eventually left earlier. She's not replied to my messages or calls.\n\nAITA for telling her the reason? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour sister is unwilling to accept her responsibility in the situation. That's on her.\n\nHave you tried earplugs? A white noise generator can help too.\n\nAlso, no reason to be embarrassed by all of this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m immunosuppressed, and my wife is in the hospital for a few days. I’ve been texting her but we decided it was better if I didn’t go in to see her to limit my exposure chances to covid. I’ve been texting her, but I drew her a picture that I wanted to send and I wrote a note to go along with it. My sister works as a nurse at the hospital, so I asked her if she could take it in for her when she gets a chance.\n\nShe took it in yesterday, and then she texted me that what I wrote was sweet and that the drawing was good. I asked how she knew and she said she opened the envelope to look at it before giving it to my wife. I got annoyed and said that she shouldn’t have opened it, and that I didn’t tell her that she could open it, and I also didn’t tell her what I wrote so it could have been something private. It happened not to be, but it’s the principle of the thing.\n\nShe said that I’m over reacting and it’s not a big deal. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour sister invaded your privacy.\n\nI guess in the future, you'll be sealing envelopes. Really not much more here honestly, unless you want to go old school and get yourself some wax and signet wring or stamp. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes to watch other men having sex with my sister, then after he (excuse the TMI) sucks the other guys semen out of my sister. I’m also a woman btw, I’m guessing she wouldn’t tell me all this if I weren’t...but who knows. \n\nSo anyway I recently came across this book on Amazon about “hotwifing” and I linked it to her, saying “since Steve is a cuck I assume he’d get a kick out of this.” No response...odd. I thought maybe I misunderstood the books premise but whatever. \n\nThen I get a response in EMAIL later, with Steve CCed, saying that it’s unacceptable for me to call him “the C word” because that’s a name only those in the cuckold community can use for each other, and that unless I personally plan to cuck Steve (theyre not asking me to, obviously) that I can’t call him a cuck. She said that from now on any communications about Steve have to be said with him on the thread and I need to apologize for the slur. \n\nThis feels...extra, I mean...a slur to me is related to race\/gender but not a kink that someone chooses. She stopped short of saying this is the N word for the hotwifing community but did say she would liken it to the F word (the homophobic one.) \n\nI didn’t apologize the way she wanted...I said I’m sorry I said it, but this new policy of cc’ing Steve is super weird and I’m worried it might Also be a kink? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour sister did massive TMI and is possibly involving you in their kink without giving you the proper info or allowing you to give proper consent. I would email both of them and say you are no longer comfortable talking about their sex lives so your sister is to stop sharing details of it with you. Your sister and BIL appear to be from the annoying part of the kink community, they will only improve when someone from the community teaches them better and that is not your job. If your sister brings it up either tell her to stop, change the subject, or walk away. If they are actual jerks they will say you are kink shaming them and probably call you a bigot, this will confirm they are jerks and contact should go to a minimum. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandfather is religiously Slavic\/Norse, and I've been as well for a few years under his look. None of my family members go to church, read the Bible, anything Christian. I always assumed that they knew about what I was and as such I never directly told them I was Slavic. \nRecently, I got a package that contained Slavic\/Norse relics (see my account if you're interested). It also came with instructions on how to claim them all, basically just involving giving my blood as a gift to Odin. It's nothing bad, we're talking a few pricks at max. I, obviously, agree. I ask my mother if I would be able to buy what I needed, and upon being asked why I told her. I'm now being blown up from all parts of my family because \"this is a Christian household and you can't just change your religion.\" My grandfather obviously sides with me, but the rest of my family considers me TA for not discussing my religion with my family. \nWhat's your verdict? \n\nIf it's needed, I am a minor, my aunt is also Slavic\/Norse, and my grandfather has been for 2 decades. We don't follow anything strict to the book, hence why I say Slavic\/Norse, but we are definitely far from Christian. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour religion, your choice. Although I am skeptical of anything involving blood...\n\nJust be careful safety-wise with any blood stuff or sharp objects and you're NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"We dated for 2 years, I got pregnant, and he said he wasn't ready to be a dad and left us. He came back when she was about a year old and apologised, stuck around for about 6 months, and then left again. She's now 4 and he wants back in her life.\n\nI've said that's not happening unless we have a custody agreement. I know I can't make him show up or use his time, but he's not even on the birth certificate because he wasn't there to sign it and avoided signing it the first time he came back. If we had a custody agreement, if he took anything less than 50\/50 custody he'd have to pay child support, and he says he can't afford to take any custody or pay any support, he can only afford to see her when she's at my place without going on the certificate.\n\nI've said no. I want him on the certificate, I want a custody agreement, and anything less, to me at least, is showing a lack of commitment to our daughter. I don't want her hurt. She's 4 years old, last time he ducked out on her she was less than 2 and only saw him once a month, but if he sticks around for 6 months again and then leaves she will notice this time.\n\nSince I said it, my ex and his new girlfriend have sent me messages. Nothing that bad, just asking me to reconsider, but there was one point where my ex called me a \"bitch\" and another where the girlfriend said \"\\[ex\\] told me you'd be unreasonable. guess he was right\".\n\nI asked mum what she thinks, and she says I should let my ex see our daughter without the agreement and try again to get an agreement in a year or so, because it would be worse if my ex got custody but our daughter didn't like him or something.\n\nAITA for wanting the agreement before my ex sees her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour priority is your daughter. He doesn’t get to be a dad only when he feels like it. A month here. A month there. Maybe six months and he’s gone for two years again. \n\nYou’re right. She’s old enough now that she will notice if and when her dad is around. She’s also old enough to have memories of him popping in and out as he feels like it. \n\nHe either wants a relationship with his daughter or he doesn’t. There is no in between. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely broke the mower. When they gave him a manual push mower: he did it like with the vacuum.\n\nParents do some of the stuff but even I have to clean up after him. Parents say \"we cleaned up after you, it's no different than that\". \n\nYesterday this shift happened again and I refused to clean up. My Dad joked about how apparently learning to clean up after somebody else even when it shouldn't be your job is good experience to have before entering the workforce. Bruh wtf. My parents had to get the work done. \n\nAITA for refusing to do chores? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour parents should realise by now that your brother is taking them for a ride. He half arses his chores so they wont ask him often. Your parents should be making sure he does the chores correctly.\n\nI think you should just do your bits, without having to clean up after your brother. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and dependent on me to help her make friends and socialize. To this day she still wants me to answer her questions for her sometimes because she does not want to talk to some people.\n\nI understand that my parents loves both of us but cares more about my sister. She is not independent neither was raised to be someone to care for herself. One of the reasons why I dislike my parent’s way of raising us. Finally I told them this is too much for me because I have my own life to live and I can’t take care of her if I’m not self-reliant. I told them if I can’t swim and you expect me to help another person drowning we’d both drown. \n\nTheir response was “You’re being selfish, you only think about yourself.”\n\nAITA for telling them I have to take care of myself first before caring for her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour parents should have been called out when they started placing you and your sister in the same classes. I'm surprised the school allowed them to do that. \n\nYour sister is not your burden in life. Go make your own way and offer her only the support you can give. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my Mum and Dad moved about 5 hours away from me a few years ago to go and live by the sea.\n\nRecently with everything going on they’ve started making plans for what they’re planning when they’re no longer with us.\nSo the other night my mum FaceTimed me because she’s been planning all this stuff and asked me if something happened would I look after my 10 year old brother, I said of course I would I’d be more than happy to have him come live with me.\n\nAs a background I’m 25, married with a two year old son, we live close to my in laws because to be honest they’re brilliant, when we’re at work they look after him to save us on childcare fees and generally help us with a lot of other stuff.\n\nWell this didn’t go down well at all, my mum instantly shot me down saying no I would have to move to their house and live there to make it easier on my brother.\nI said I understand that but it’s not possible, my job and support structure is here I can’t just uproot my life if something did happen. \n\nMy mum started getting really angry saying she knew I wouldn’t help them and that they would agree with my younger brother (22) to look after my little brother but not to expect anything from them when they die because I won’t deserve it.\n\nI shot back with that’s totally fine by me, if it comes with strings I don’t want or need anything from them. My mum then hung up on me.\n\nNow they’re not talking to me at all, all I’ve had is a message from my dad saying that they’re both extremely disappointed that I couldn’t put my little brother first.\n\nA couple of friends I’ve told this to have said I’m in the wrong because I’m not willing to help as much as I can and how much this would impact my brothers but I’m still pretty resolute I’ve done nothing wrong.\n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour parents have every right to choose a guardian that will live in their house if that's what they want. You have every right to refuse to move to another location to become his guardian.\n\nYour parents (and friends from the sounds of things) are TA because they don't have the right to try and guilt you for being unwilling to quit your job and move to care for your lil bro. You're not saying to kick your brother out on the street - he could come live with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.\n\nMy dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, just dislikes it.\n\nFor the past two months, I have been administrating my dogs drops in the morning. My parents said they'd handle the pills and nightly drops. Two weeks ago I mentioned the pills and found out my dad wasn't giving them to her. I talked to him and so far he's been better.\n\nFor the past two weeks, I've found the drop containers in the same place I leave them every morning. I've told my parents this multiple times and they always have an excuse. Yesterday, I told my mom how annoyed I was and she said she'd set alarms and give drops every night. \n\nThis morning I came downstairs to find the drops where I left them. My mom said \"Hey, how are you?\" And I said \"I'm disappointed that even after our conversation yesterday you still couldn't be bothered to give the dog her drops.\" My mom blew up at me, cited the 'I am the parent and you are the child' and, as always, had numerous issues that prevented her from giving drops yesterday. \n\nShe tried to relate it to me not taking out the garbage. We didn't have a long conversation about the garbage.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour parents are deflecting blame. They just don't wanna do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum. \n\nI, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation. \n\nThis is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained. \n\nI said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born. \n\nAITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour not obligated to be a babysitter ######"}
{"prompt":"So my brother just had a baby a month and a half ago with his wife and due to coronavirus we haven't been able to see her until recently.  \n\nMy mother (62) has been looking forward to meeting her and since the baby has been here with us now for a few days along with my brother and his wife, she has been very helpful with her, and loves bonding with her granddaughter. I have zero issue with this, I think it's absolutely lovely.\n\nHere is where I might be the A.\nMy mom offered to have the baby sleep with her and my dad during the night. Brother and wife said ok, if they want and that was that, but I, after seeing how they placed her voiced my concerns about it being dangerous for the baby. She sleeps between my mom who is a pretty wide framed lady and my dad. They have conjoined mattresses and there is a gap between the two mattresses where the baby ends up having her head when they fall asleep. She also has her little feet somewhere by\/under my moms body and I'm afraid that she might squish her. \n\nI told my mom that I'm worried about the safety of the baby but she says it's a womans instinct to not lay on the baby during sleep. I'm just concerned because she is getting older and is becoming more of a deep sleeper that something bad might happen, but they say I'm too nitpicky and give me angry looks if I say I think something isn't safe.\n\nSo, am I the asshole? Do I need to but out? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour niece is 6 weeks old. A baby that tiny shouldn’t be bed sharing in the manner they have her. The gap between the mattresses is dangerous. Also there’s a risk of suffocation.\n\nI’d voice concern again, this time to the new parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface my father passed away about 2 months ago. I was incredibly close with him, I moved states away from my mother to rebuild a relationship with him after their divorce. I went through all of high school living with him and lived a city away throughout college. He was my biggest supporter. So I (23M) am having to go through all the processes of insurance and retirement my father had set up in his name. He had 2 policies with one life insurance company that had me and my 2 siblings, so it was all split evenly between us 3. But he also had another where I was the sole beneficiary, as well as the sole beneficiary of his retirement. My siblings had never really been close to my dad. My sister hadn't spoken to him or seen since last June. My brother who is a habitual liar and kind of shitty person, only really saw him on occasions. And most times it was when he needed something. Thought out my childhood they were never present they had both ran away numerous times. Sometimes we wouldnt see them for a year or more. But my dad always helped even if it costed him loads of money. This is where my dilemma comes into play. My mom is telling me that my dad left the rest of it in my name for a reason, and not to go against his wishes by giving them any. Would I be an asshole if I didn't? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mum is right, Your dad left it to you for a very clear reason, you were there for him, and this is his way of being there for you now after he passed. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm sorry if this is long or confusing but I'm conflicted.  \n\nBackstory my mom was incredibly abusive to me. Everything except sexually because I got that from someone else. I was forced to work at our store when I was 8 years old. Every way you could abuse someone she did it. I moved out when I was 14. I had just finished my freshman year of high school and I moved in with my grandma who let me stay with her rent free but I was on my own for everything. I got a job working 20-30 hours paid under the table. I did everything I could to support and sustain myself. When I turned 16 I got a real job went to an alternative high school and shifted my whole life so I could work and go to school just so I could eat, have a phone, get a car\/gas. \n\nWe're Asian though. Painfully traditional and our beliefs is that we need to everything we can for our inner circle. Basically my mom was living with my grandma and her husband doesn't like her so he left. Shortly after she left to be with him. Things happened and now they're essentially homeless while looking for a place to live. They're living in a trailer. \n\nI can give more details if there are questions. \n\nFast forward to now ten years later. I don't have a relationship with my mother. We talk a maybe a total of 5 times a year if that. My whole life I've been lectured how because she's my mother I have to love her and care. She's the only mother I have. I live in moderately sized home with my SO and dog. We have the space to house 2-3 extra people. I feel so bad because I know she wants  me to offer her our extra rooms but I just don't want to. \n\nShes essentially homeless though and I feel like I'm the devil for not offering her a roof when I have the space and ability to. I don't think I'm TA but why do I feel so bad?  I'm conflicted. If I wasn't TA I don't feel like I would feel bad. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mother was abusive. You don't need to bring someone with a history of hurting you into your home.\n\nIt's unfortunate that she's in a tough spot but I mean... Maybe she shouldn't have abused her child ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I'm 20 F, and I'm living with my parents. \n\nSo this happened today at lunch. We'd all sat down to eat, and there was fish. I hate fish. I hate most non-vegetarian food. Nonetheless, I didn't want to start a fight, so I sat down and ate almost all of it, except for a little bit which I just didn't want to anymore. And trust me, when I say little, it was a tiny little piece. \n\nI got up to wash my hands and rinse my mouth, when my mother called me back and asked me to finish it. Now, I really didn't want to. Firstly, I was already very full, and secondly, I just couldn't eat any more fish. I'd probably throw up. \n\nSo I said no. She kept bullying me. And I kept saying no. \n\nMy mother has a history of doing this. My brother and I could never be picky about anything we ate growing up, because it was a rule to eat everything that was served. I understand not wanting to waste food, but I just can't tolerate eating certain things. \nHer force-feeding has probably led to me overeating at some times and barely eating at others. \n\nSo anyway, back to the story. She pulled me aside and angrily told me that I was embarrassing her in front of our house-help. \n\nAnd I just couldn't believe her. I couldn't bare to ingest something at all anymore and to her, it was only about listening to her so that I didn't embarrass her. \n\nShe called me to a side room and started getting furious about how I always embarrass her and stomp on her dignity.\n\nI stormed out of the room. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mother needs to get a grip. You're 20, an adult and she cannot tell you anymore what to eat and how much and when. If anyone embarrassed her in front of your house aid it was herself being so pedantic about this. And stomping on someones dignity over that? I don't think she knows what that means. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't even know where to begin with this. First time posting here.\n\nMy family consist of me (17), my ma, my two sisters who I'll call A and J (A is 18, and J is 15) and my two younger brothers (one's highly autistic and the other is 8, neither of them are important to this). Now then, after school closed but before people started taking the quarantine seriously, a friend of mine, who I'll call D (More of J's friend but I knew him from school) started hanging out at my house, and he brought a friend of his Tae (using his nickname) who I think knew J but they were kinda just acquaintances. Now, D left because he also tried to make advances on J ( D was 16 at that time) The problem is Tae. Even after D left, Tae stuck around and has basically been living at our house. When D was here they were here almost every day, and rarely stayed over for the night. Now, Tae almost never leaves. He eats and sleeps at my house and even on the rare occasion he does go home, he never sleeps over there and always comes back. I can't remember that last time where he wasn't here for more than 24 hours.\n\nNeither me nor A like him, but J does. I don't like him because he basically took over the living room and I hate how he acts like he has any authority here. A doesn't like him for the same reasons, but mostly doesn't feel comfortable with him being around J because of the title incident. Tae sent J some rather suggestive text, even saying that she can't tell anyone ( He's going on 20). J deleted the messages for some reason, so only her and ma know exactly what they said. This is a problem because ma refuses to tell Tae's parents about the messages, saying something along the lines of \"I already dealt with that.\" Now whenever I bring it up she says I'm \" trying to tell her how to run her own home.\" Am I the asshole for wanting him gone? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mother is allowing a predator to live in her home. Why? ######"}
{"prompt":"My 5 year old had been going to my mother in laws house pretty regularly for overnights, 2 or 3 times a month, per her request. In all my years of parenting, I have made it loudly, unmistakably clear that I do not use physical discipline on my children, and she is not to either. Ok, she doesnt agree but will respect it. \n\nFast forward to about 8 months ago (this is my MIL story and my daughter essentially concurred), my then 4 year old was in the bath and my MIL was helping her, and my child got shampoo in her eyes and started to cry and panic, so she splashed water on my daughters face to \"help\" and she lost it. She screamed and wailed because she couldnt see and had water up her nose now, and my MIL couldnt figure out the issue and there was another sleeping baby in the house, so she smacked my childs bare wet ass to \"calm her down and stop the noise\" (huh?) Instead of grabbing her a towel to dry off her face or offering comfort.\n\nMy daughter still doesnt understand why it happened and brings it up occasionally. Its created a huge rift in the family dynamic and relationship, but my MIL still doesnt feel like she did anything wrong. I'm very bitter about it still and have been a little controlling over visits since then. \n\nSo reddit, am I the overreacting asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour Mother in law did not do what she did to ‘calm her down’. She was frustrated and angry and wanted to shut the kid up. \n\nThis is not okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, as Disney Plus was coming to my country, I managed to convince my parents to get an account, only if it was through ma pocket money. So, I decided, eh. fuck it, imma get it. So, it was all sunshine and rainbows for a while until my dad asked for the password to give to one of his friends. I was reluctant at first but my dad managed to convince me to give the password. But, I realized that it was a bad idea to give the password in the first place and went to the account settings and logged all devices out except for mine, and I have not told my parents yet about the log out. So, by taking the account off of the friend, Am I the Asshole ?\n\n(also some might think im a dumbfuck for giving the password in the first place but my dad is a very persuasive person) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour money, your password, do what you like with either of them.\n\n(Although I agree with your last line :) ) ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.\n\nI wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.\n\nAfter turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.\n\nToday we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.\n\nI'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.\n\nAm I the asshole for spending my earned money? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nyour money, your business ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it. \n\nNow, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni. \n\nAs for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified. \n\nWhen I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough. \n\nSo, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mom will never stop dominating your life if you don't start standing up for yourself.\n\nShe might try and ruin your life, but people will quickly learn that she's a crazy person. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we were all watching the news together (my sister, my mom, my dad and i).\n\nAnd there was this part where it reported that muslims still liked to fly over their dead to their country of origin and bury them there (i’m from belgium). Personally I didn’t think it was a big deal but my mom just stated:\n\n“At least they take their trash back”\n\nI was shocked obviously and spoke up. I told her that it was no different than any other person wanting to be buried (or have their ashes spread out) anywhere specific like the ocean or in their favourite country. And that saying if their dead are trash would mean that if grandma died she would be just trash too in her eyes, if you follow her logic.\n\nWell everybody got mad at me and saying that it was just some passive aggressive way of what they call ‘reverse racism’\n\nAnd now everybody is mad at me and wont talk to me, mostly about the grandma remark i think, so i feel bad ‘cause that was really harsh of me. But then again so was calling someone elses loved one trash.\nSo am i in the wrong here and should I apologize? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mom should be proud that she raised you to speak up for what you believe.   \n\nYou disagreed, and then you explained why respectfully,  with no yelling or insults.\n\nAlso, you're correct. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: had acne for almost 10 years. Couldn’t do anything about it (treat it orally) since healthcare isn’t free where I live, and dermatology appointments are costly. We were also, very poor. \n\nI had self esteem issues because of it, and my mum is the only person that I’ve shared this struggle with. She, out of everyone, knows how much I’ve been struggling with mental health due to acne. When I first started getting it, she would shame me (just make snarky remarks like “aren’t they bothering you? You look like bla bla bla”) into fixing it as soon as possible. So I became ashamed of my face and was obsessed with skincare. And I mean OBSESSED.\n\nRecently, I had to move back home with my parents because of the current climate. Today, my face progressed from moderate acne to very mild. I maintain a plant based diet that helped me a lot. Though from time to time, I get hungry and crave foods that cause flare ups (mainly dairy and baked goods). But since we’re all staying at home, I thought it would be fine to have a couple bites. \n\nOne day, I ate too much, and I broke out. She saw my face and said “what even is that huge bump on your forehead? Did you hit your head?” And I don’t know where the anger came from, but I snapped “why do you always feel the need to say shit about my face?”. She started screaming and calling me over-sensitive. That because my face isn’t even THAT bad ( like it was before) I should learn how to take a joke. \n\nNow I feel that it’s my fault for making her feel bad. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour mom is a jerk for saying that to you despite knowing it's a big insecurity. Show her this thread so she can see just how asshole-ish it is to do what she's been doing. A parent should support and encourage their child, not make them feel terrible for no reason. She should be ashamed!\n\nYou're beautiful. Don't feel bad for the occasional treat. Especially in the current climate. :) ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little backstory\nMy parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My parents won’t let me sell any of my current items so I obviously have to do chores (I’m not old enough to get a job.) I’ve done stuff like walk my dog, clean the windows and vacuum at m’s house all for £5 or less each. D paid £10 for just the windows (£1 per window) so obviously I wanted to do the chores at his but m has a huge shed that hasn’t been entered in years! So the words m gave me were “if you can empty this shed and sort the items i will give £10” i thought this was an ok price so i cleared the shed and sorted the items (25 min work) I ask m for the money but she says not until i wash the items (the shed was filled with cobwebs and insects.) I was annoyed but i asked for the cleaning products but she said she didn’t have any. So i had to buy the hose... with the money I hadn’t earnt yet. Plus bug killer, scrubs and new bin bags! i was losing money so i said no. M then said she wasn’t paying me until i did. So i was practically paying her £2.49 to clean out, sort and wash HER shed. I have a natural phobia of bugs so I already hated it but this was ridiculous. I refused and now m has taken all the money i earnt as a punishment plus my ps3 (i prefer xbox but this was all we could get.) D is taking M’s side but I think he’s scared which I don’t blame him for. So Reddit am i the ahole? Also this is my first story on here so sorry if it isn’t good for this subreddit. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour m is doing those things where she becomes a psycho because her kid is getting old enough to point out how flawed her logic is.\n\nI’m sorry you have such a self righteous shite for a mom right now ######"}
{"prompt":"So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, \"Because I'm the parent and I say so.\" Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour life needs to be your life. Talking to your parents is a great way to gain insight from their years of experience. But it should be done on your terms, not theirs (like you talking to your dad). ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my fiancé has always been a drinker. He has a drink every night to wind down after working swing shift while he plays video games. His drink consists of a 20oz Yeti cup filled with ice. Then filled 2\/3 with Jim Beam followed by Dr. Pepper. He’d typically just have the one drink about 11pm when he got home and come to bed about 2am. \n\nOver the last year, his drinking has gotten crazy. He now drinks 3 of those cups a night, every single night. He stays up past 4am getting wasted while playing his game and yelling the whole time. I get up for work at 5:30 am so it’s very disturbing to sleep in our bed. Many nights I sleep on the couch. After playing and drinking, he goes and wrecks my kitchen heating up food. I used to make allowances because he was still able to get up for work and he’d let me sleep in one weekend day and take care of the kids that morning. And I don’t think I really realized how much he was drinking. \n\nBut now we’re both home, his drinking really bothers me. As I watch him fill his cup with liquor I feel repulsed. Because I know that the more he drinks, the more obnoxious and verbally abusive he becomes. Every night I’m called a bitch or a whore. And if I say anything, he says he can’t joke with me. But I don’t find it funny nor do I see how it’s a joke when I’m literally just laying there trying to sleep.\n\nThe other night I snapped. My stove was covered in queso. He had kept me up all night with his yelling and all the kitchen noise. I told him it’s us or alcohol. Previous talks asking him to slow down his drinking only made him drink more so I’m at my wits end.\n\nHis response was to say he will drink more now and maybe if I got drunk, he’d like me better. So I walked away. And I haven’t spoken to him since unless absolutely necessary. I know alcoholism is a disease and it runs in his family. I’m conflicted with wanting to be happy and feeling guilty for the ultimatum. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour husband is an alcoholic.  Full stop.  And he's drinking **a lot**.  \n\nLet me give you some perspective.  Once you factor in the ice, that 20oz Yeti cup probably has about 6.5 oz of Jim Beam in it (I did a quick test run with ice and water to get an estimate).  Three of those a night would be 19.5 oz.\n\n1.5 oz of Jim Beam has the same alcohol content as a 12oz can of beer.  This is assuming that the stuff he's drinking is only 80 proof (Jim Beam also makes 100 proof whiskey).  So his three cups of Jim & Dr. Pepper have the same alcohol content as 13 cans of beer.\n\n##**He's drinking two six-packs a day**\n\nLet that sink in.  Two six packs of beer.  Every single day.\n\nHe has a huge problem, and unfortunately the only way he'll ever get better is if he decides on his own to get better.  In the meantime, you need to do whatever is necessary to protect yourself and your children. ######"}
{"prompt":"This ones petty I know but my friend (17m) was sending selfies from girls we know to our group chat full of friends (also all 16-17m) last night. He screen shotted the selfies of these girls in make up and sent them to our group chat of about 15 of our guy friends and saying stuff like “which one is worse” and they look goofy and they shouldn’t have posted those photos and stuff like that. I called him out and said it was weird and gross for him to do that. Almost everyone in the group chat took his side saying that if they post it online publicly we are allowed to make fun of it. And that everyone sends photos of people calling clowning on them and it shouldn’t be different just because they are girls. I kept arguing that sending photos of girls you aren’t friends to a group chat of all your guy friends to clown on them was a gross thing to do. They didn’t really get it and just claimed I was white knighting and it wasn’t really a big deal. They told me I should drop it but it doesn’t really feel like a thing we should let slide. Am I overreacting and should I just drop it? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour friends suck ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.\nAnyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.\nA few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject. \nNot wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk.  I wasn’t.\nSo I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth. \nAfter that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l\nnarcissistic tendencies. \nBut some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour friend, can we even call her that, is a terrible person. I'd cut ties with her immediately for pulling that stunt, and yes, she does owe you an apology. What business did she have telling everyone your sexual orientation. You told her that in confidence and betrayed you, cut ties and never turn back. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: So my friend asked if I would ever dye my hair and I said a quick “no”. However I then said half seriously that I might do it if it was for charity, next thing I know my friend has created a paypal and has publicly said me and her are dying our hair for charity, even though I never really wanted to do it and didn’t 100% agree to it.\n\n\nFast forward to last night, I learned that the hair dye I bought doesn’t truly come out and will ruin the natural hair colour until it grows out which I didn’t know would happen. So yeah, my friend is dying her hair now as I type this and I told her I didn’t wanna do it. Keeping in mind that this was for charity, am I the ass hole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour friend sucks because she didn’t confirm you were totally serious with the idea and assumed you were just going to go on board because of something you jokingly said. It was wrong of her to publicly say you were doing it with her without first asking you. \n\nIf she is going to force you to do this, she should at least get a hair dye that is ethical and won’t fuck up your hair.\n\n(if you ever do dye your hair after this, i recommend manic panic- it’s vegan and plant based, won’t ruin your hair, and some colors are very easy to get out)\n\nEDIT: On the charity aspect, I still stand by my point. It seems like your friend just bullshitted this whole “charity” idea to get you to dye your hair with her, considering the way this is worded implies she only got the idea after you said you might do it for charity. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before you judge off the title alone, my friend is a man. Not genderqueer or anything, just a man. He has always said kind of cringe things about women and sex, nothing bigoted but just....cringe. Like once he told me that he is most attracted to bisexual women because “pleasuring women is his biggest pastime” and he can’t relate to women who don’t. \n\nWell his latest is he told me he’s a lesbian. I told him that unless he no longer identifies as a man, he isn’t a lesbian. He says that’s not true. His reasons for being a “lesbian” are: he has a powerful connection to women’s energy (further questioning revealed he was just talking about vaginas), he thinks he’s more turned on by watching two women together than other straight men, and his dream is pleasuring 4 women at once (you can do that....I guess....but you’d still be straight.) he also thinks lesbians are “hotter” than straight women. I’m 90% sure he’s never met a lesbian IRL and this is based on porn. He does not identify as a woman or even remotely not a man. He just dreams of being “in the middle of a lesbian orgy.”\n\nI am normally not one to police identities but he’s obviously just a straight man and I find this borderline offensive. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour friend seems to be just a dumbass who watches too much porn, and I can't possibly imagine taking him seriously on this topic. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a throwaway account. Also this story happened a while ago.\n\nMy friend and I went to see a movie. Before that, we got some churros for $10, she said she'd pay for it and I can pay later when we buy something after the movie. I said ok. We shared the churros. After the movie, she wanted to get hot chocolate but I didn't want any so she can get a cup and I'll pay for it. And because just the hot chocolate by itself, it didn't add up to $10 so she added in a cookie to rake up $10, I said it was ok. I paid for the hot chocolate and the cookie.\n\nIt was pretty late at night so I'm assuming the worker must've been pretty tired because although he charged us $10, he accidentally made us two cups of hot chocolate. He gave it to us for free because it's already made and we were the only two there. \n\nThe next morning, she texted asking me to transfer the money I owe her back. I was confused because I didn't owe her anything, I paid $10. She said it was because it wasn't $10 that I paid since I also got something out of it, it made the value of her drink decreased. Even as I typed this out, I still don't understand her reasoning. I said that I paid $10 fair and square, the hot chocolate I got was just an added bonus for us. We debated back and forth about this and she said she told her mom about the story, and her mom also thinks that I should pay back. We dropped it after a while but I'm still confused. Since her mom also agreed, I don't know if she dropped it because I was being an asshole and she didn't wanna keep arguing or if it was because I was right. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour friend is cheap and petty as heck. You bought her $10 worth of stuff. Doesn't matter if you also got a drink for free. The value of her drink did not decrease, and you owe her nothing. ######"}
{"prompt":"To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.\n\nI just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad first.\n\nHere’s how to conversation went.\nD=Dad\nM=Mom\nOP:Me\n\nOP:(over Text Message) Hey, can I dye my hair,Momma said it was fine but wanted me to ask you first.\n\nD: What Color and your whole head?\n\nOP:Red and probably not, I only have half a bottle of dye.\n\nD:I’m thinking you shouldn’t unless you’re gay.\n\nNow when he said that I was in complete shock and went to my mom for her advice on what to do, she was outraged as her oldest child is part of the lgbt community . She suggested that we dye my hair anyways to prove a point. \n\nWhen I went to visit my dad he grounded me and took my phone for breaking his rules, and has said that he won’t take me anywhere because I’m a embarrassment to him. Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour father however, is an ahole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour family, your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he says around us to anyone else, but he didn't listen.\n\nSure enough my brother was \"exposed\" on a girl's Instagram story with screenshots of him saying racist things in a chat with his friends. Since the girl that posted the screenshots was in my grade my family asked me to talk to her and get her to take it down since it may \"ruin my brothers college acceptance.\" I told my family no and that he needs to be publicly ridiculed since nothing that I've said was going to get through to him.\n\nThen the post spread and now practically everyone has seen the message and has been messaging me about it saying things like \"wow I can't believe your brother is so racist\" and \"wow how can you let him say things like this.\" In response I posted something saying how I do not condone his actions and am deeply disappointed. \n\nNow my brother says that I am \"dead to him\" and my family won't talk to me because I didn't back my brother and \"betrayed the family.\" I've asked my brother to sit and talk with me about it but he's refusing to and saying that I've done too much damage and that he doesn't want to speak to me again.\n\nMy mom keeps telling me that I need to apologize to him in order to make the family \"begin to heal\" but I don't feel as though I'm in the wrong.\n\nShould I apologize? Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour family are worried about his reputation, but they didn't stop to think about yours. There are now people out there who genuinely believe you're okay with having a brother who is racist - you needed to be honest and clear your name.\n\nIf your brother was out there trying to make it right, learn from his mistakes and get educated it might be a different story (then again it might not - I'm a super priveleged white woman so my opinion could be way off here) but he's not, he's trying to get you to fix his mistakes instead of owning them.\n\nYou have to protect yourself first. I'm sorry your family can't see that, but it's true. ######"}
{"prompt":"The whole story is in the title. \n\nMy ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park). \n\nMy boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate? \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour ex sounds like someone attempting to successfully co parent with you.\n\nYour ex boyfriend sounds incredibly insecure ######"}
{"prompt":"TL;DR — my husband started a YouTube channel, which I fully supported but I asked him to not record me and told him I didn’t want to be in his videos and he flipped out and deleted the whole YouTube channel. AITA?\n\n•\n•\n•\nMy husband started a YouTube channel. He got a wild, hare brained idea that it was a good idea. He told me about it, showed me his first video, I told him it was very funny and I supported him 100%. He said it was going to be a “funny, relatable, YouTube channel for dads”, I told him it was a great idea, and fully supported it. Until he tried to secretly record me and post it. I told him as he was recording me (as soon as I realized he was) that I do consent to being put on videos that are displayed for the public. And it wasn’t a sexual video or anything like that. It was literally a video of me sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of lucky charms. I don’t care what it was about, I point blank said I didn’t want to be in his videos. I still supported him making the channel, and told him I could support him without being in the videos. He then said he was going to post it anyway, made a comment about posting videos of our kids. I was adamantly against that — I don’t want our kids displayed for world to see. It’s just nothing something I agree with personally because I don’t want anyone to look at my child in an inappropriate way and unfortunately, the world we live in, the Internet is a child sex offenders hunting grounds. I just don’t want my kids to be out there like that, plain and simple. Anyway, he flipped out. Told me I didn’t support him, he was tired of it always being an issue if it wasn’t my way. Which it’s the complete opposite. He behaves like a child when he doesn’t get his way, always trying to guilt me into things. We fought for a while about it and I finally just walked away. He deleted the entire channel and refused to speak to me the rest of the night. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour entitled to your own privacy, your husbands TA. ######"}
{"prompt":"i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother. \n\ni absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’. \n\ni do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour dad seems kinda weird ngl, I think you and your mom need to talk to him about boundaries ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it. \nMy dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass\/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like \"oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!\" \nMy grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year? \nI don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour dad made a promise and is trying to back out on a technicality. \n\nIf there is a legitimate reason for this, like your family is secretly struggling for money, your dad should level with you and explain why the upgrade needs to wait.\n\nHis flippant demeanor in treating you differently than your siblings sucks and you have every right to call him out on it ######"}
{"prompt":"A week ago my bf and I made plans to visit my dad and his wife. My dad lives near one of my favorite restaurants, and I was hungry for one of their dishes for months. I told my dad that we'd love to have dinner, but I really wanted take out. I'd pay for it myself. I asked if he was OK with that. He was. I asked him to tell my stepmom to not cook for me and my bf.\n\nBecause I have autism i don't like plans changing. My dad asked if I wouldn't rather have a home cooked meal since his wife was cooking anyway. I told him again I'd prefer take out if that's okay. My bf is fine with whatever. But please do not cook for me.\n\nToday I came in to the kitchen, and my stepmom proudly declared she was going to try to make my favorite dish... I love her, but the woman just isn't a great cook so I knew it wouldn't be very good, and again, I really don't do well with sudden changes.\nApparently my dad didn't tell her I wanted take out. She said it was fine, she wanted to cook anyway and I had already ordered food.\n\nNow I just feel bad. She went out of her way to find the recipe of my favorite dish, get the right ingredients and cook it for me and my bf. I know she knows about my autism, and that she understands. But I just felt really crappy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour dad is the asshole. He should’ve conveyed your message to your stepmom; seems she really tried to please you with your favorite food and put in a lot of work for nothing. Next time, text her directly; it’s clear your dad can’t be bothered to convey a simple message or was dead set on everyone eating the home cooked meal. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of my sandwiches instead even though I was going to make one of those anyway as per his request. Before I could say anything, he takes a bite of my sandwich. I go to put back the bread in the cupboard and he says \"Too lazy to make another one for yourself?\" and he laughs. I, already in a sour mood because someone took my damn sandwich, say, \"It's fine, I just don't like it when someone takes my food.\". He takes offense to this, scowls at me, drops the sandwich back on the plate hard enough to make a sound as if to show anger, and slams the door when he leaves the room. You could really see the disdain in his eyes after I said that remark. I'd really like to know if I'm the asshole here or not. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour dad is a massive asshole. Has he always been this way? ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby. \n\nMy baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, \"No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me.\" He hesitated, but then he said, \"I'll be out in time.\"\n\nHe went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.\n\nHe came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty. \n\nHe saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour dad accepted the 'rules' before he went for a shower. Serves him right.\n\nAnyway, pizza is nice when it's 'toasty' :) ######"}
{"prompt":"We’re currently staying with my partners family, we were renting but our landlords wanted to sell the house and we couldn’t find a property that was affordable in our local area. \n\nWe’re paying ‘contributions’ of around €800 a month to be here (it’s me, my partner and my child), I still also buy my own food due to food intolerances. I’m happy to pay that €800, but his parents want us to do a spread sheet of how much we earn and our outgoings to make sure we can afford the €800. We both work so we can afford that. I really don’t want to give them a copy of this information.\n\nMe and my partner have just had a big argument and he’s said I’m a arsehole for not wanting to give them a written copy of the information. \n\nI really don’t want them having a copy of how much I earn and what I pay out. I have nothing to hide but I want that privacy for myself. I’m an adult, my partner doesn’t seem to understand that. Even my own family has never known exactly what I earn and what I spend. Why should they? \n\nI will happily talk to him about it all but I don’t want his mother having a paper copy or anything like that. They aren’t my family and they’ve said that themselves. I’m not really sure what to do. I’m happy to pay the €800, I haven’t quibbled about it in any way so I can’t understand why they want my finances. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour contributing that’s all it matter. Your earnings are none of their business. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat. \n\nMy family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour cat is not hungry, he's just gluttonous. Which, first of all, relatable.\n\nIf you're looking for a solution, consider giving your cat his food in smaller amounts throughout the day instead of all at once? I'd complain if I ate 2000 calories at breakfast and then fasted for the rest of the day. This has nothing to do with health, though. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (22f) bf's (23m) family lives in the apartment next to us. And his brother (17m) visits a lot. That's fine, but recently he spent a whole 6-7 days here. I was never asked if I was okay with this. He left on Friday afternoon and is already wanting to come back over for an indefinite amount of time. I both have extreme social anxiety and am an introvert. Having visitors is emotionally and psychologically exhausting for me no matter who it is, so I'm still recovering from the week he was just here. Plus he was talking to my boyfriend via x-box live asking to come over at 3AM. My boyfriend  asked me, and I said that I really am not comfortable with visitors right now in the first place, let alone at 3am. He got SUPER PISSED. He kept saying stuff like \"well, I guess it's more your home than mine, since I guess I don't have a say.\" AITA for not wanting my bf's brother over at 3am for another indefinite amount of time even though I'm not mentally prepared for company? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour boyfriend should respect the fact that you both share the same space and that you have social anxiety issues. If he wants his brother to hang out at YOUR apartment as a \"visitor\" for days on end then maybe it's time you found a new place ... or a new boyfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (f18) have gone bra less for almost 2 years now. I wear bralettes or sports bras on the occasion, but you won’t catch me in a padded bra. For what it’s worth, I’m super flat anyways, and most of the time people really can’t tell the difference. \n\nOn to the story. I was invited yesterday to a small bbq with close family at my grandmothers house. It was 98° and the whole event was outside. I have 4 cousins, one of which is (m25) and it’s a well known fact now in our family he’s recovering from a porn addiction. \n\nHe lost his fiancé of two years due to it but recently he’s been doing better. It’s obviously not something anyone ever brings up or talks about due to the nature of the subject. \n\nWell, I was wearing a strapless top with no bra on, and halfway through my aunt had asked me if I could go put something different on or a coat because she was worried I was going to “put thoughts in my cousins head that could sway his progress”. I was offended, and told her I wouldn’t be changing because it’s too hot. I’m his cousin, he shouldn’t be looking at me like that anyways, and if he can’t see a set of shoulders, or a tube top, that must mean he can’t go outside at all. \n\nThey left early and since then I’ve been getting slammed by all my family for ruining the 4th of July get together and ruining my cousins progress, and life. \n\nI feel like shit and I’m regretting that I didn’t just change. So, AITA? Thanks in advance. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour body is your body, noone else.\n\nA. He should not be looking at his cousin this way.\n\nB. Your aunt should not be trying to sexualise you and your cousin.\n\nC. If he had the issue he should have stepped out and away, rather than letting his Mom make a scene. And if he didnt say something and she kicked off does she really have that little faith about her son, that he would sexualise his cousin that way. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first time posting and English is my second language so bare with me.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. We have 3 dogs and during quarantine we came to the agreement that he would take out the dogs and I would cook, do dishes and laundry because I am high risk and our state is in bad shape -also, people in our neighborhood don’t respect social distancing so I get bad anxiety attacks when I walk around.\n\nWell, he’s been 5-6 days without showering? I don’t know, but he has a dry scalp and I could see all the dead skin on his hair and face this morning. It grossed me out and I told him he had to shower today. He’s been playing video games all day and ignored the shower. When I had already showered I asked him if he wanted to shower while I cooked lunch and he said no. We have already had dinner and I reminded him to go to the shower because tomorrow early we are going grocery shopping so we can find parking after shopping. I just reminded him and said something like “you still have to shower, it’s pretty late and tomorrow morning we are going shopping so you won’t have time”. Well he got pissed at me and told me to go take the dogs out and he’ll shower. I refused and said that he’s been playing video games all day and we had an agreement about taking the dogs out. He still yelled at me and said he was going to the shower and that I had to take the dogs out, that I should help because I didn’t do anything today. Well, I made breakfast, lunch and dinner, apart from laundry and dishes. So I basically spent more time doing things than him.\n\n\nSo AITA for reminding my boyfriend to take a shower and to honor our agreement during quarantine? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour bf is really getting used to not having to do much all day. A lot of us will have rude awakenings when everything opens up again and we have to go back to doing things all the time.\n\nI don't like to dance around issues so I would probably tell him that his dirty lazy ass needs to shower and that if he can't do simple tasks without making a scene then that's pretty disappointing. I would also stop cooking 3x day until \"morale improves\" as they say.\n\nI mean, who wants to suck a dick that hasn't been washed in a week, that's nasty. \n\nAnd who wants to suck a dick that doesn't even notice he is gross, rude, lazy, and childish. That's also nasty.\n\nBut hey, I'm single, so take that all with a grain of salt. I would probably end up being too aggressive about it. I get triggered easily by this kind of taking advantage of people with respect to household chores. Good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship.  Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour bf is actively lying to and emotionally manipulating his ex.\n\nHe is doing the same thing to you, by telling you all of this is to protect her feelings. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about her feelings.\n\nHe’s hiding your relationship and talking to his ex and lying to her face.\n\nRed flags are abundant here... run. ######"}
{"prompt":"Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well.  My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.  \n\n\nAnyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.  \n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour anger is justified. Your sister sounds nasty. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for privacy reasons.\n\nMy (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYour accomplishments have nothing to do with her failures and vice versa.  She can be upset for herself and still manage to be supportive and happy for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress\/frustration\/constant policy changes.\n\nYears ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.\n\nIncident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental\/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress\/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it. \n\nFew friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou’ve done more work than needed. It seems like she wants both of you to launch the business...If you don’t have the bandwidth, that’s okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me. \n\nThey were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop. \n\nHe started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit. \n\nAfter that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew. \n\nBut they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset. \n\nAITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou’re being exploited. If you’ve ever sent him anything risqué, he’s probably shown others. He had the balls to tell *YOU* to chill after all this? Please leave him before you experience some real shame. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.\n\nEdit:\n\n* I am currently attending university. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou’re already giving them half of everything you get, plus paying for your own things. You can’t be saving much. \n\nYour parents should WANT you to save. You’ll need money for emergencies or just things you want. Plus funds to move out of their home one day. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou've taken the last three years seriously and worked hard for this test so you can plan your future. \n\nWhom you let in to share your work with and whom is privy to your dedication to your education is completely up to you. \n\nYou had the same opportunity as your friends and foes to prep for this final so there's no excuse for their lack of material. You're giving your friends a valuable gift by allowing them access to your work, you should decide whom your gifts are bestowed to. \n\nAnd there's no need to feel guilty about not sharing it with just anyone; after all, if the table was turned would they have been so willing to hand over their hard work to you? Opportunity comes to those willing to wait for it, you did and now you'll have the opportunity to get a higher education. \n\nShame they didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel as you have.\n\nBest of luck with your college choices! ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her.\n\nMe: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable.\nMum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too\nMe: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone\nMum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that! \n\nso whaddya think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou've explained to your mother that her coming in during your showers makes you uncomfortable and she should respect that.  I've seen from responses to other comments that your showers aren't excessively long and there's another bathroom if she's desperate so there's really no reason for her to be coming in. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello Reddit, cutting straight to the point I had twin babies last September, a boy and a girl. Me and my boyfriend had a babygirl 3 years prior. Neither of us are religious but his family sees baptism as a part of culture and family tradition, so we agreed to please them this way. After all, we currently live in France and after I finish university we will probably go to Turkey, my homeland, and I want them to have a connection with both their cultures and this is a part of it. When my oldest was born, her grandmother said that they would like her aunt to be her godmother and I didn’t give much taught to it. She also named the baby but I shrugged cause I really liked the name and it fit her perfectly. (She named her Aurore, which means dawn in french and she has red hair!) But after the twins were born I really wanted my two best friends to be their godmothers. As I said I’m not religious, but if I can still honor my best friends who have always been in my life (one since the age of 6 and the other 15) and who will probably be in theirs as well, I would like them to have the title, not some in-law that I don’t know. We also named the kids with my bf (Selene and Helios, which mean sun and moon, so I think the three pair together perfectly) My bf’s mother was very frustrated and said that she would like her other twin daughters to be my twins’ godmothers, and she had already started sewing their dresses. AITA? I know baptism means a lot more to her than me, but they are my kids and I want to choose who to honor and be a second mom to them. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're right - they are your kids and you do what you wish in this regard. MIL has no say in it. At all.\n\n​\n\nEDIT: Looks like you're not married. If that's so, she's not even your mother in law so she has even less say in what you do with your kids (not that the inlaws should have any say anyway...) ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're responsible for the value of the item that you broke. Any\"upgrades\" are on him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is working from home, I’m a stay at home mom, although I do freelance graphic design.\n\nAt work, my husband had a secretary\/assistant(he flip flops on what he calls her) that he apparently relies on very heavily. Because when he started working from home he started asking me to write things down for him, remind him to call people, he even asked me to cancel a meeting for him(I don’t actually even have the ability to do that). He asks me to send emails for him(also can’t do that).\n\nOur son is home and I’m homeschooling him, and also having to keep him entertained during the day, and while that’s not a full time job, it would prevent me from doing all the things my husband asks for even if I wanted to.\n\nI figured he was just having trouble adjusting and just continued his natural work flow, which happened to end up with him asking me to do things. But he never stopped so last week I asked him to stop asking me to do things.\n\nToday I sat him down and had a longer conversation that half the things he asks are not possible for me to do, and I don’t like feeling like his assistant, so I want him to stop.\n\nHe got annoyed and asked if I could just do the simple ones, and it’s only fair. I don’t understand what would be fair about it, but then he said he had a meeting and walked away. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're not his secretary.  If he needs one in order to be able to work then I'm sure his secretary is so working from home.\n\nIt's his job \/ his employers job to make sure he and they have the capacity to work....so they should provide the software to enable them to communicate easily...\n\nYou still have all your usual motherly duties - it's not your responsibility or role to carry out work he \/ his staff are PAID to do ######"}
{"prompt":"To cut a long story short, I made a bit of a fuck up and thought I had approval to do overtime so I ended up doing an extra 70+ hours of work last month on top of my regulars. Unfortunately, I have not been paid these hours and didn't have approval for paid overtime and my manager has said there isn't anything they can do. I'm a little miffed at this.\n\nSo, I have decided to steal back the 7+ days of extra work I've undertaken by taking longer breaks, internet browsing and finishing early and starting late. It's not like they keep track of it anyway. Am I an asshole for that? \n\n(also in my country they only have to honour the hours if total worked puts you under minimum wage, sadly it only sadly falls short of that criteria) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're not from the US it seems so my initial thoughts are not valid here. \n\nIf you are paid a fixed rate and the company expects you to work more for no extra pay, then I see no reason to not work less to make up for it.\n\nJust don't get caught. ######"}
{"prompt":" so my younger sister (11) has a habit of stealing from people. if anything goes missing, the chance of you finding it in my sister's room is 80%. i have this red jumper that i love and i didn't get it back from the wash. i knew it had been washed because it saw it on the line outside. i had a hunch it was my sister who had taken it. she went with my mum to walk the dog and while they were gone, i raided her room and found not only my jumper, but an entire box of stuff she had stolen from me including my inhalers which i need for my asthma. i was furious and took a few pictures and took the box back to my room. i'll admit, i was a little sloppy and had left some signs that i had been in there so when my sister came back, she was upset. i told her not to take my stuff again and she began to cry because i had 'invaded her privacy'.\n\nmy mum is on both sides, saying i should have asked her about my jumper (which i do. when things go missing, i ask my sister if she's seen them and she says no) but my stepdad is on my sister's side.\n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're not an official government agency lol. You don't need a warrant. It's not like you were reading her diary or anything. You were retrieving your property.\n\nAlso, it sounds like your sister might need some counseling. If this continues, it'll be big trouble later in life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and I are very close. When we need advice or just to talk we turn to each other for support. Same with my sister. \n\nMy brother married his wife in April of 2019 and have begun trying to have a baby. My brother called me yesterday and told me that they went to see her doctor and he told them that they should not try to have a biological child. My SIL takes medications that would most likely cause severe birth defects and unfortunately it is too dangerous to take her off the meds because it may kill her. \n\nObviously we were, and are heartbroken for them. My brother would be an awesome father and he loves my kids like crazy. I told him that it was not the end of the world and that they could always adopt or foster a child. He then told me that they were going to try anyway, despite the doctor telling them both that this was not a good idea because of all the risks. \n\nI got very angry with him and told him they were both being extremely selfish. That even if they were able to conceive the risk of having a child with severe birth defects that may cause them to require constant care or possibly pass away at birth was ludicrous. He said that I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what I am talking about; and he’s right. I’m not a doctor, but I do know that I would be so heartbroken for them and for their child if something were to happen. \n\nHe says that I wouldn’t understand since I have children, but I do. My second child has permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at birth. My delivery was complicated and we both almost died. My son will always have developmental delays and I will never forgive myself for it, even though I did nothing wrong nor did the doctors. \n\nMy sister and mother completely agree with me that what they are doing is terrible. However, my SILs family has been calling and messaging me and calling me terrible names. I only told my brother the truth because he asked. \n\nSo AITA for telling him the truth? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're not a doctor, however a doctor advised them of exactly the same thing.\n\nIt's such a big risk they're taking, that it becomes such a selfish one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work\n\nSo they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids. \n\nWell the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.\n\nI’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're not \"ruining\" anything. It was a misunderstanding and that should have solved the problem, full stop. That said, \"someone\" being home should not be broadly defined to also include \"lady we pay to watch Mom.\" The idea that \"someone\" needs to be home suggests that the \"someone\" will have some kind of responsibility. Otherwise, the kids would also be allowed to swim when no one is home.\n\nIf you are not comfortable with the kids coming over to swim without their own parent on your \"watch\", tell your employer. They can accept it or replace you. But God forbid something happens while you're inside and you get blamed b\/c \"well, you should have blah blah blah...\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.\n\nI understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?\n\nFor context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're in pain, and they should care about that.\n\nMore than that though, the longer you leave it the worse it could get. Which, if cost is their main concern, could quite easily drive up the price they eventually have to pay. While also doing more damage to your health. ######"}
{"prompt":"My kid’s birthday was in the middle of February and his father, who lives states away didn’t send anything.\n\nEvery time they were on the phone before my son’s birthday, his father said he had the present and was going to mail it, when it was closer to the birthday, he claimed he mailed it. Then after my son’s birthday, he made several excuses then said he’ll mail it or would say “it’ll be there in a few days.”\n\nIt honestly made me sad and irritated seeing how sad my son was after each phone conversation. One of the excuses he told our son was that he has 4 dogs to take care of and doesn’t have time to mail the gift... who says that to their own child?!\n\nAnyway I bought my son a gift had it mailed directly to my home and said it was from his dad. He was so excited and wants to call his dad. I sent his dad a text to go with the flow but instead he’s mad and giving me more excuses as to why he didn’t send a gift. \n\nI explained to him that our kid is extremely intelligent emotionally and every time he lied about sending a present it hurt our son and is causing him to no longer want to talk on the phone.\n\nSo AITA in this scenario? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're going above and beyond to make sure your kid has a good relationship with his father. \n\nThe father should be grateful and not getting mad at you. He's the asshole in this situation. Who doesn't have time to mail a gift? ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend \\[29M\\] and I \\[23F\\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.\n\nLast night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.\n\nI thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.\n\nI just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.\n\nI realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou're already paying rent for a place. You cannot stop paying rent there. \n\nIsn't it totally normal to spend a bunch of time in the early days at one or the other person's place? Four months is those early days. Even if it weren't a question of your inability to afford two rents, it's a weird thing to ask for rent in that situation. Especially as you seem to have taken on much of the daily chores\/purchases for the time you're there.\n\nYou are going to have to sit down and talk about both of your perceptions and expectations and the reality of your finances and how that's going to affect both of you going forward in where you live and what kind of lifestyle you have.\n\nYou do NOT owe him rent for any past visits. No freaking way. But sort this out now. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an Indian woman (21) who was born and currently living in Australia. I have a younger brother (18) who is severely disabled and requires 24\/7 care. My father is in my opinion incredibly controlling. Everything I do needs to be run past him, he approves who I’m friends with, he controls when and why I leave the house. He has also chosen my career for me, Medicine. My father has also expressed to me that when I’m allowed to date in two years that I will have to consult with him first about the boy I want to go on a date with, and he obviously has the typical restrictions that any Indian parents would. Also regarding my future he told me that I’ll be allowed to move out once I’m married, and that he along with my mum and brother will live in a granny flat behind I house I live in with my future husband. \n\nTo all of this I think its incredibly unfair that he’s dictating every aspect of my life, I obviously do want to take care of my brother and my parents but I can’t deal with my father constantly using him to guilt me into doing everything he wants. \n\nI’ve considered moving out now, I have good savings and would be able to take care of myself, but I know my father would stop me from being able to contact my mum and brother. And i’m worried that I’d be affecting my brothers future if I leave them. \n\nI want to take care of my brother, I love him more than anyone else in this world. And I want him to live with me for the rest of our lives so I can take of him and give him a good life. But I selfishly want some life choices to be my own. \n\nWIBTA if I move out of home potentially causing my father to stop contact between my and my brother, jeopardising his future?\n\nTLDR: I have a controlling father, who will cut contact with my and prevent me from seeing my disabled brother if I move out. WIBTA If I do? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou wouldn’t be ruining your brother’s future. Your father would be. Just like he’s ruining your future by controlling everything you do.\n\nHoly shit girl, your home life sounds horrible. Run away right now. You are entitled to happiness and freedom. ######"}
{"prompt":"( On a throw-away account because she has my main account)\n\nSo my girlfriend has been talking about moving into her apartment for about a year now. I've thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea because she doesn't have a bathtub\n\nI have a health issue that causes me a lot of pain. Pain that I've discovered can be soothed by hot baths and a medical bubble bath. I of course can also take medicine that helps but the one prescribed for me to take when I'm in pain makes me feel all woozy for the rest of the day, which is not ideal when I have things to do.\n\nI specifically moved into an apartment with a bath that I currently share with a roommate. My roommate recently decided to move when our lease ends, which is making my girlfriend even more insistent about me moving in with her\n\nI've told her my concerns and why, and suggested she move onto my lease if she wants to live together or that we could find a new place with a bath. She refuses and is calling me selfish for not moving in with her just because her apartment 'isnt't nice enough for me'\n\nIt's gotten so bad that every time we text or call, she starts arguing about it and I'm afraid this is going to kill the relationship. I don't want the reason that I lose someone to be that she doesn't have a bath tub in her home.\n\nAm I being selfish for refusing to move into her apartment? Am I the A-hole for not just giving in so that I can be with her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou wouldn't be breaking up over a bath, you'd be breaking up over her not supporting you in accessing something that helps your medical condition, when she easily could.\n\nEven if your apartment is terrible and she for whatever reason can't live there, then you try to find a new place that had a bath, like you suggested. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I (40M) was with my ex (45F)  she had a 5month old, I met her daughter 7 months into the relationship, we were living together within 8months of dating.\n\nMy exs daughters father wasnt around.\n\nI was with my ex for 10 years before our firstborn and then 4months after our firstborn she was pregnant again, we have two daughters.\n\nWe dated for another 3 years and about four years   ago  we broke up because she had been cheating and had gotten pregnant, a nice way to find out!\n\n\n\nMy exs daughter texted me a week ago and asked to move in with me, her mother is pregnant  and obviously as the eldest she is expected to help out more and is having the brunt of her mothers frustration taken out on her.\n\nI said of course, she's capable of making her own decisions now, but not to rush such a heavy decision because I live several hours away so she wouldn't just be able to pop down the road to see her mother and siblings.\n\nI've since been getting spammed by her mother and her mothers partner telling me I was an AH for getting involved when she's not my daughter and for allowing her to rush off instead of solving her problems.\n\nMy partner agrees maybe I overstepped \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou were in this girl's life for years. You opened your door to someone in need. This is a very nice thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway on my friend’s account.\n\nSo I (26F) have a sister (22F) who I’ll refer to as Lily. When I was 17 and my sister was 13, our father passed away and we were left with a pretty big sum of money each that would cover university, rent, groceries and the down payment of our future house (we were given the same amount each). My mother split our money into separate bank accounts (one for tuition, one for rent etc) so that we could stay organized. We only had access to the tuition money and grocery money as our mother helped us pay for rent (she would give us the money for a house when we get there in the future). The second Lily reached 20 years old, she blew two semesters worth of payment on lots of cosmetic procedures like braces, double eyelid surgery, lip fillers and lash extensions. Last two semesters when she couldn’t pay she asked me to. I asked her where her money went and she said she got cosmetic procedures (I haven’t seen her in two years so I didn’t know). I straight up told her no because cosmetic procedures were a want and not a need so she is responsible for wasting it. She went crazy telling me how I hit the genetic lottery and how I had a perfect face that never needed fixing (I had straight teeth without braces, long lashes and double eye lids) She went on a whole rant on how I never felt her pain. I felt bad so I offered to lend her money but she would have to pay me back later(no interest fee). She got even more mad and started yelling at me and calling me selfish and that I had a job and could easily help her but choose not to. I repeated that I could lend her money but she wouldn’t listen and wanted me to pay for her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou were both given the exact same opportunities with the money given. You used yours as intended and she wasted hers. That’s her choice. \n\nNot she needs financial aid \/ student loans to finish school. That’s entirely her fault. She made her bed, now she has to lay in it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's.\n\n2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help.\n\nNope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest. \n\nSo I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as \"Sister\". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol)\n\nWell I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch.\n\nWell after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for \"Not helping her sister\" and \"Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined.\" \n\nI was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside.\n\nNow I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou went WAY above and beyond as it is. I wouldn't want  a drunk stranger in my house, and if I was super drunk and a stranger came outside and brought me into their home I would be TERRIFIED!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse.\nFast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou told your family you had your AP exam that day, and I'm assuming beforehand as well. Your brother was TA for being selfish and still blasting music when he knew you had an exam. You had every right to be angry that you failed because you couldn't focus from his loud music and you telling your dad was the right thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Using a throwaway. Short one for you guys. My sister has kids and they are lovely. I love being an aunt. I see them twice a month and try to keep up with what they do. However, my partner and I don’t personally want kids of our own. We are childfree and instead to stay so. My sister is really disappointed by this and keeps hinting I’ll change my mind. She points out how good I am with her kids, and she says that once we have kids we’ll realize how incomplete our life is without them. I keep telling her it’s not going to happen, yet she keeps trying to convince me.\n\nFinally, last weekend, we had a Skype call with her family and after her kids got off the call, she said they asked when they would have a cousin. I tried to reiterate that we don’t want kids, but then she decided to ask her patented question of “but what if you got pregnant by accident?” She always asks this like it’s some trump card because I usually say we’ll cross that bridge if that happens. But today I was just super done with the conversation and I snapped “I’d abort the baby and you’d never know if you had a niece or nephew.”\n\nLet’s just say, the call ended with her telling me I’d hurt her deeply and that we wouldn’t be talking for a while. I don’t really know if I was an asshole. I know she is prolife so that answer obviously hurt her a lot. But I just wanted her to stop bringing up that point like it was a gotcha because I would have an abortion if I got accidentally pregnant. It’s just that, I never would have told her about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou told her multiple times you decision. She didn’t respect that decision so you told her again in a blunt way. Your choice not her’s. ######"}
{"prompt":"Kind of a long one. Just moved into an apartment it's barely been two months. Way it's set up is the downstairs part is rented to an old lady, the upstairs part is a three bedroom space that's perfect for my family. Recently just moved in after moving to a whole different state. \n\nThe old lady has had a problem with us since before we hadn't even moved in. When we just came to the house to see it with a friend, she approached the friend and was extremely haughty and wanted to know exactly who we were and weird things like that, like we were \"suspicious\". Now that we have moved in she is constantly complaining to management and has made the prime complaint my kids, 5 and 3. The older child is autistic, and while he understands most things, he's non verbal and a little hard to control and I'm trying my best. The old lady keeps calling management on us because he's \"running\" and \"jumping\" upstairs and she can't ever \"rest\" and it's so loud and hard for her. She wants me to control my kids and I am trying my best, but I can't put them on a leash or shut them inside a room. She keeps treating us like we're hostile and suspicious, while zoning on my kids doing completely normal kid things and I've tried to take them out, or have them play at their aunts house sometimes but nothing is enough for her.\n\nManagement was also kind of iffed out at her constant complaints but to appease her, they offered to give us a downstairs area in a different house. That would not work out for us, since we need 3 bedrooms and downstairs units only have 2. They then offered a townhouse all to us but the rent is way, WAY higher and we can't afford that at the moment. I feel like an asshole for constantly refusing to move out because she IS an old lady, no matter how she treats us, and if she is really that disturbed I want to do something to help but I can't move out and she's complaining about how we won't leave. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou signed  a lease for that space, it's yours.  But, there's a message in their continued desire to help relocate you.  You'd be taking a risk by not working with them, bc they probably will not renew if you do not, so all you're doing now is delaying the inevitable  until the lease ends. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, backstory here I am 14 F. My mom is 40F and my aunt and uncle are both in their late 40’s. \n\nThey have been in our house for the past two months because they felt “confined” in their apartment. Ever since they moved in, it’s been hell. And since my mom works really late (8pm) it’s easy for them to hide it. \n\nThey control my daily routines, meaning I have to do everything at the same times as them. Breakfast at 6 am, lunch at 12 pm, dinner at 7 pm, bed by 8. I do not follow the bedtime, btw lmao. \n\nThey constantly kick me off my Xbox so their TV ‘works better’, despite the fact that the tv works the same either way, I’ve tested it. \n\nThey get mad whenever I make noise.\n\nThey make me sleep in the guest bedroom because my bed is better and then guests deserve the best’\n\nThey have taken my phone away before, and then slipped it under my door right before my mom walked in the door. \n\nI told my mom about all these shitty behaviors and she told them off but they continued doing it. \n\nI told her that if she doesn’t get them to stop or kick them out, I will move in with one of my friends who is willing to let me. \n\nI don’t know if that’s too far, but I’m not living with that any longer. AITA, Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou shouldn’t be getting treated like that in your own home. You especially shouldnt have to give up your bedroom just because they like it better. The TVs being on at the same time wouldn’t affect each other, especially if they are not both using the satellite\/cable connection at the same time. ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car.\n\n\nPresent issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful.\nI’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair. \nWhen I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again. \n\nMother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that. \n\nI’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to. \n\nAm I being the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou should not let your mom have keys to your car. \n\nIf all that's wrong with her car is a break light those are extremely easy to replace yourself. \n\nYour mother is only enabling your sisters Horrible coping mechanism and not helping her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband has been pissed at me for 2 days over this and I’m starting to wonder if I’m really in the wrong.\n\nMy family is close friends with our neighbors, especially the wife and I. We talk pretty much every day and she’s been a huge support to me since we moved far away from our family last year. We talk about everything and have both given each other some good advice in the past. \n\nRecently she’s been having some issues with her husband. Two days ago she came over while my husband and I were just sitting in the living room talking (I was folding laundry if it matters) and asked if she could talk to me. He was on his way out to grab dinner so it seemed to be a good time. The kids were outside playing and it was like the stars aligned to give us a good 20 minutes of quiet to talk. \n\nShe was upset. We talked for a bit and she calmed down. He came back, we had dinner with our kids and the evening went on as normal. \n\nLate that night we were in bed watching TV and he asked...so what was that all about? To me, what we talked about was private, especially because our husbands are friends and are very much alike. I gave him the readers digest condensed version and said “she’s just feeling really overwhelmed right now and needed to vent”, which was completely true. \n\nApparently that was wrong. He wanted to know the entire conversation and I don’t think I had to give it to him. He accused me of “keeping secrets”, me dropping everything (laundry?) to run to her and that “we (as in him and I) always talk about the latest gossip”, which we do when it’s silly little things that we mostly laugh about. To me, this wasn’t gossip. It was my friend hurting and needing to talk privately. \n\nHe’s been giving me the cold shoulder since then.  AITA for not disclosing the details of this conversation to him? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou should keep the confidence of your friend. She probably needs to have someone to talk to without it getting shared. Especially since your husband knows her husband. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright so. Within the span of a few months of moving into our new house, with a generous three toilets for each family member, my mother has clogged her own toilet. And refused to unclog it. Or even make an attempt. She insists it's too far gone for her to deal with, but refuses to accept any help in fixing it, mine or a professional's.\n\nInstead, she's been using my toilet. And clogging it. And then leaving it for me to find.\n\nToday, at a wonderous 1:30 A.M, I attempted to use my toilet. Only to be abruptly snapped out of my sleepy daze when I felt toilet water rise and brush my asschecks. This is the fifth time she has done this and left it unattended for me to find, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning, not to mention stomping in and out of my room unannounced at all hours to use my toilet.\n\nSo, out of anger, I stomped into her room unannounced and had a pretty heated argument with her. She said she felt humiliated about clogging the toilet. I said she should grow up (which might have been a bit uncalled for, especially considering the hour.) She tried to insist I should just go downstairs and use my dad's toilet. Which he never cleans. And he cannot aim. There are sticky piss puddles down there. The cat's litterbox is in there too. It reeks.\n\nI told her she picked a man who can't aim his own piss and if she needs to shit so bad she should be the one braving his pig-sty.\n\nShe's been telling all her friends about how I humiliated her in the middle of the night\/berated her\/etcetra as well as going on her guilt-trippy rants about how she's \"\"Apparently such a pig, wah wah wah, my son doesn't love me.\"\" Despite me never having said anything of that sort. I just want to be able to pee without worrying about my mother's feces gently caressing my butthole\n\nI'm aware this is really, really petty but quarantine has driven me insane, especially since my mother and father and I have such different views on what's considered clean. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou should have stomped in her room and screamed “who RAISED you to live like this?!”\n\nYour mother isn’t embarrassed, she is in denial about her shit problem. \n\nOP, buy your mom a poop knife and call it a day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him?\n\nEdit- age\/gender clarity\nEdit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him  and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends\/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou should have sex because *you're* excited to have sex, and if somebody doesn't want to date you because they want sex and you don't, then you should wish them well and let them go. \n\nThe fact that he called you an \"ungrateful prude,\" suggests, strongly, that you're better off without him. Don't be so afraid of him leaving you. Honestly, the fact that he would behave in that way should be disqualifying - it should make clear that you're not going to have sex.  Honestly, you absolutely MUST NOT have sex with him out of a sense of obligation or our of fear of his rage or rejection. \n\nHow old are you both?\n\nThat being said, there's only one caveat here, which is that I'm not completely sure what's *your* belief system and what is your parents? ######"}
{"prompt":"This story starts around February 2020,\nSo class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.”\n\nLater that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.”\n\nI was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff.\n\nLater that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened.\n\nI got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou shared the screenshot and had a private conversation with a friend. That friend is in the wrong here. She had no business sharing the information you shared with him\/her.\n\nAlso he did it to himself. He was the one who was a jerk. Your friend shouldn’t have shared what you told her in confidence but it’s not like you were spreading lies about your crush. ######"}
{"prompt":"For reference I’m black and he’s white. \n\nA couple weeks ago I confronted an acquaintance (we’ll call him M) of mine over his constant use of the n word. In the past I would just ignore because he’s a friend of a good friend of mine and we never hung out much, except occasionally with our mutual friend. \n\nHe would say things like “Look what these n****s are doing over there.” and “This n**** is getting on my nerves.” or “My n****!”. \n\nNo one else really had a problem with it and I didn’t want to be that one person who bitches over everything so I would usually just let it slide, even though it really bothered me. \n\nWell, that is, until a couple weeks ago. My friend was throwing a get together and M was there. He was playing a video game against someone and he lost. He yelled out “Fucking n****r!”. I got really mad and screamed : \n\n“You don’t just get to say that. You’ve constantly said that in the past and I’ve never said anything before, but now you’re really pushing it. I don’t know who told you it was okay to say it. Don’t ever fucking say that word again.” \n\nThe room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me weirdly. I got my bag and left to go home. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou say a racial slur, especially around someone who's black, and you deserve whatever happens next. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?\n\nI (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy. \n\nI was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**\n\nThat being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head\/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me. \n\nToday, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything. \n\nI know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched. \n\nTL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou said \"please don't touch me\"\n\nCo-worker continued to touch ~~me~~ you\n\nI'd be upset too, if I were you! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years and have gotten pretty good. I figured I would save up some money and treat myself to a nice one after using a $150 craigslist buy for awhile. So i bought myself a $1300 epiphone jumbo size acoustic\/electric. It has an electric tuner and stuff and had 2 amp ports but is still acoustic. My friend has been wanting to learn for awhile and hes just been using the one I had to teach him and practice and stuff. When he found out I spent a large amount of money on a really nice guitar he was really angry, saying I should have spent the money on two mid range guitars for the both of us and was selfish for thinking of me and not him. AITA Here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou offered the guy a free guitar and he thinks you should have spent $500-600 of your own money on a new guitar for him.  He's got issues.\n\nMy husband has a couple higher end nice guitars and a couple cheap (but still decent) guitars.  The cheap ones make him just as happy to play.\n\nIf your friend doesn't want your old guitar, keep it and he can buy his own. ######"}
{"prompt":"So two weeks ago, my husband asked my opinion on cosigning a loan for his sister. I told him that honestly, I didn't like the idea at all and to please not do it, for consideration of our financial future. \nHis sister had her last car impounded twice for whatever reasons. The prior one to that, she wrecked and was then sued by the finance company for the remainder of the note. She's constantly asking him for money, all the while she has yet to ever pay him back.\nShe called last week and told me that he had, in fact, cosigned for her. Not only that, but it was a new enough car, she would be getting some sort of rebate check that one of us needed to take to her. I told her if she wanted it, that she was apparently free to drive herself to our house to get it. \nI then confronted my husband and asked why he did ask my opinion if it didn't matter. His response was to tell me that he thought I would be okay with it, and when I wasn't, he thought I would get over it. AITA for being upset that he completely disregarded how I felt about this whole thing? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou need to separate your finances from your husband. He is showing very poor judgement and endangering your financial future. And you need to look into why she needed you guys to help with the rebate check because she has a car now. Either she is not the one driving the car, or that rebate is somehow associated with you or your husband and you need to know that now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Two other friends and I decided to go on a trip this upcoming September to Universal Studios for Halloween Horror Nights.  I've never been and have been invited the past two years but couldn't make it due to money reasons.  This trip isn't cheap, we'd be staying for a week at a hotel on site, food, plane, and park tickets.  All in all we were looking at about 1200.00 usd each.\n\nWell i paid for my park tickets and plane ticket back in May when it was looking like the country was lowering the curve of covid-19 and I had faith by September it would be fine by then.  Well two months later Florida is the worst state at the moment with no signs of doing anything to make it better.\n\n\nMy friends told me that Universal is doing everything right  (according to who?) and it would be fine.  Well two weeks ago I got a refund on everything I paid for and told the other two on the trip I wasn't going.  I could tell they were upset and it just feels like there might be some animosity among them towards me.\n\n\nI feel like an asshole for doing this but I feel like giving them two months to plan for being 1 person down should be enough time if they still decide to go which they probably will.  I also think I won't have as much fun as i've heard it was the past few years when they went due to guidelines and restrictions.\n\n So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou made the right decision for very valid reasons. We'd be in a better situation if more people were willing to forgo planned vacations like you did. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller. \n\nI (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying. \n\nI got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea. \n\nTurns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff. \n\nWe have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou looked into it to see if it was viable before proceeding, there’s literally nothing wrong with that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. \n\nI have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. \n\nA couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.\n\nMe and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. \n\nI want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. \n\nTL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou logic is reasonable. If your bio-dad doesn't like it, then tough titties.\n\nYour job is not to make everyone happy. Your job is use sound judgement in making decisions. ######"}
{"prompt":" Posting on sisters behalf\n\nMy sister, let's call her Aly, lives in an apartment building with 2 others, Ava, her sister, and Mia, an acquaintance.\n\nThe lease expires in June but since Mia has finished school she has opted to move back with her parents while still paying rent. When Mia left (early-April) she left food in the fridge and freezer and has yet to come back and get them, one of the items left in the freezer were frozen burritos, like the kind you pop in the microwave and shame eat at 2-am. Well, Aly and Ava had a few friends over Thursday night, one of which is a really close friend, the really close friend mindlessly went into the freezer and cooked the last two of Mia's burritos without thinking and ate them. Ava and Aly were unaware that their friend ate Mia's Burritos. Then Friday morning Mia came back to the apartment to collect the rest of her things and noticed the Burritos were gone, she then proceeded to throw out ALL of Ava's and Aly's food from the fridge\/freezer in retaliation.\n\nAly and Ava were obviously disgruntled and confronted Mia who somehow attempted to justify throwing all their food away.\n\nWhos the Asshole ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou know when someone would eat my food, I'd calmly, sometimes a bit annoyed, request they replace it....Not throw away their food, they might not be able to replace, in a tantrum\n\nMia sounds like a spoiled brat ######"}
{"prompt":"So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.\nToday I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.\nFast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou knew it was going to happen, you told him and made plans so that your kid would be looked after.\n\n\"He finally got a job\" then he should have made appropriate arrangements with the new job if he knew he was going to be in charge of looking after his kid. Sounds like he should also consider \"being a parent before anything\" if he's gonna play that card with you. \n\nWhat would he expect if he suddenly got really ill when he was looking after the kid? I'm presuming he would want you to look after him instead.\n\nYou are not acting like a teenager at all and you are a good parent for trying to make sure your son had appropriate care, and making sure he still does by arranging for him to go to your mothers when your ex dropped the ball and refused to call her to sort it out when he could no longer look after him. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am a 16 year old male who is half white half Japanese. My dad was scouted to be a English teacher in Japan where he met my mom which they had 2 girls and then moved back to Canada and had me. I have dual citizenship for japan and Canada I can go to either freely. Not counting this year but every march we would spend in japan with my moms family. Today I was in a discord call with people I have never met before and one of them was a straight up otaku (nice way to day weeb) I then said oh you speak Japanese and he said yes so I just rambled off a sentence in Japanese because I was excited it's not every day I get to speak Japanese to people who arent my family. And this guy giggles and says my Japanese \"needs some work\" which I then told him in Japanese my history with the language which he responded in Japanese with and me being upset about the first comment completely dissected what he said and pointed out all of the flaws in his grammar or structuring. Which he said in English knit pick much? I said I'm only doing what you are doing. Then he went silent and the topic changed. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou just taught that weeb a lesson in Japanese. At least he knows better now. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. \n\nWhen we were getting to know each other I told him that I had no plans of getting married in future. He laughed it off as me being young and he was sure I would change my mind about it. I was 22 back then.\n\nHe met my family and friends when we started a relationship and whenever anyone would bring up the topic of marriage I'd remind them that I didn't want to get married. We even had a discussion about it on our anniversary and talked about his plans for when we get married. I told him to stop bringing it up and we got into a huge fight about where we were headed. After we calmed down I talked to him about him and told him I was fine with him walking away if our relationship wasn't going to end up in a marriage and he said he wanted to stay and understood me.\n\nOne of my cousins was celebrating her engagement and threw a small party today which we attended. I was caught off guard when he got on one knee at the party and 'popped the question'. I stood there for what felt like a very long time because I didn't want to say yes and also didn't want to embarass him by saying no. Someone made a joke about me having cold feet already, everyone laughed and my boyfriend got up. I gave him a small smile even though it was so awkward.\n\nNow he's mad at me for not saying yes. My cousin and I are very close and I was very happy for her when she told me she'd gotten engaged. We'd been talking over the phone since she's already gone into wedding planning mode and I was excited to be planning the wedding with her. My boyfriend says he saw how happy I was and was convinced I wasn't sure I didn't want to get married and planned this because \"I'd realise I actually wanted to get married if someone proposed\".\n\nI feel really bad for embarassing him and he's said he needs some space from me. \n\nI just need some opinions because I feel like such a bad person. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have told him multiple times that you don't want to get married.  If he didn't want to be embarrassed, he shouldn't have proposed in public. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school.  I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have the right to not want to marry. But it's best that you two figure out how important getting married or not getting married is to you, and whether it's worth throwing away a relationship over. ######"}
{"prompt":"First up, context: I (29, X) have 2 younger half siblings (21 and 18). I was born when my mother was quite young, and my bio-father was never in the picture. My mom met my adoptive father, who I consider to be my actual father, when I was about 4. They married and my siblings came along. My dad legally adopted me when I was 9.\n\nWhen one of my brothers was really young, he was kind of a dick. I don't say that to be mean, we get along great now, but because we conflicted so much my mom argued that it wasn't a good idea to tell him I was adopted on my dads side, because he'd probably weaponise it in arguments. I was young and thought that made sense, so we didn't tell him. \n\nAs we got older, my mom has made me lie to my siblings and extended family pretty regularly, about my sexuality (am now out, but it took a while), my work, all kinds of shit. I hate it. We live really far apart and I feel like whenever I see my family I have to spend the whole time balancing lies instead of genuinely building a relationship with my siblings. \n\nI've tried to bring this up with my parents, but they blow me off every time. They've been slipping up, too - they've made facebook posts that hint at not having met when I was born, and I'm not on one of my siblings birth certificates either. I want to clear the air and have an open relationship with my brothers, but I know my mom will take it as me going behind her back and it will be a huge, HUGE drama. That said, I think being expected to lie for her all the time is unfair, and that at least one of my siblings is going to be really hurt when he finds out - and there's a lot of things that could lead to him finding out. If he finds out from me, he'll be angry at my parents; from them,  he'd be angry at me; if he figures it out himself he'll be furious at all of us. \n\nIf I went ahead and told them, and explained that my parents wanted me to lie to them, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have the right to live your truth, whether that’s your sexuality, parentage, or whatever else. It’s sounds an awful lot like your mom is ashamed of the situation and is passing that hot potato o to you. \n\nYes, it’ll cause drama, but it’ll blow over. Sit down and tel your parents that you’re coming clean with everything, and make clear that you are not asking for their blessing, but are informing them because you love and respect them. \n\nAlso, half siblings, whole siblings, it doesn’t matter. Those are your siblings and you all love each other. I’m sure they’ll support you. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go\/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22\/07\/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?\n\nSo really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have plans that existed well before you knew about the hen do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is \"because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part.\" I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have no responsibility to have children, or a relationship. You don't owe that to anyone. It's your life, you do you. <3 ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA: Last night my boyfriend took it upon himself to let our friend group hanging out in discord know that I really don't send him nudes. (I've been through a lot and have ptsd, and I don't trust technology. He knows I'm uncomfortable with sending nude pictures of myself and we see each other on a decently regular basis.) Our friends then proceeded to make fun of me for it which I expected since that's just our friend group. It still really hurt though. I went to talk to my boyfriend about it, and he said that most of my problem should be with our friends and not him. The problem is I struggle to trust people and I'm uncomfortable with my body and in that instant it felt like he just didn't respect me. Am I the asshole for being upset more with him and not our friends? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have everything to lose, and nothing to gain, by sending him nudes. It is not, and has never been, a duty to do this in a relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"So since September 2019 I have payed for feeding, bedding, the stable box and done all the daily work an care that comes with having a horse. The owner is a sweet girl in her 20s and her parents was paying for the horse up until then.\n\nIn September she fell, the hores were injured and she got scared, her parents then approached me about the horse and asked if I were interested to treat it as my own, if I were paying everything except medical bills. Around 600 usd a month.\nI did and I have, I had to nurse this animal because he had a huge gash in his leg. Then I had to slowly get him back into shape before I could ride due to it's a older horse.\n\nSo by January I could start to actually ride. I have been taking progress photos and videos and sendt the owner since I have experience in doing this from before. \n\nSo now after not seeing the horse or answering my progress updates since mid September 2019, she sends me a message saying she wants to take the horse for a summer vacation 2 hours away, I work fulltime and don't have the time or energy to go there every other day to care for the horse. (she was suggesting we had every other day) I told her that if I were expected to half care for it and paying, I would prefer the horse to stay where he is or I would consider to stop having responsibility for it. She got a bit offended that i argued with her since she is the owner and all that.\n\nHer parents agree with me but they also sympathise with their daughters wishes, but they don't want to pay.\n\nSo I'm sitting here kind of bummed out because I have grown to care for this animal, but I also feel I should have some say in this....am I the asshole here? \n\n\nTl;dr: I care and pay for injured horse after owner falls, doesn't hear from her in 7 months and now she wants to move the horse 2 hours away for all of summer, while I still an expected to pay for feeding and come care for it every other day. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have essentially been \"renting\" the horse.  If they want to move the horse, then you need to stop paying.\n\nAlso, you could probably pay a much more modest fee to ride someone else's horse on an hourly basis.\n\nThese people are taking advantage.  Tell them you would no longer be paying their horse's costs. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the coming few weeks I've (25f) been tasks with a painting project in the house. That's fine however I have pretty bad ADHD, and not getting side tracked is really hard. On top of that I have sound sensitivity and a macaw who will screech randomly. I find that I can allow myself to stay focused and in the zone if I start quietly listening to podcasts or music with my headphones. That way it drowns out unpredictable noises but it's not so loud that I can't tell if someone is trying to talk to me.\n\nYou could say i should just put one headphone in but that splits my focus in too many directions. it also doesn't help drown out the screeching of our macaw.\n\nMom on the other hand likes to talk. Usually it's about a recipe she wants to make or something she found on facebook. it's rare for it to be about me or the project at hand.\n\nI let her know that I have my headphones in and that I likely won't hear her fully but that doesn't stop her from speaking up randomly. She doesn't try to get my attention first by saying my name, so by the time I put my brush and paint down, and take out my headphones, I miss most of what she's saying and have to ask her to repeat it.\n\nThis gets her really annoyed and she tells me to take out my headphones, and to not wear them because she wants to be able to talk to me without worrying if she'll be fully heard.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou have a challenge on your hands, though. Your mom is a \"void-filler\" meaning silence is psychologically disconcerting. People who have that problem cannot take being in a space without noise & chatter. \n\nCan you play the podcast or music over a speaker? ######"}
{"prompt":"This actually happened at Christmas, but my sister brought it up today.\n\nWe have most family dinners at my dad and step mom's house.  Just for clarification, my stepmom and I have a decent relationship.  However, she has this one rule that drives me crazy.  Any time we have a holiday dinner, she expects the girls to do the cleanup.  The men do not have to help at all.  My sister and sister-in-law have all talked about how much we hate this rule and find it unfair.\n\nLast Christmas, my stepmom made a big dinner.  At the end of it, she announced that the girls needed to clean up and that she wouldn't be helping, as she cooked.  Then she went outside for something.  My husband started clearing the table, as he also disagrees with this rule.  I also made my teenage son help, as I didn't think it was fair to my teenage daughter.\n\nWhen my stepmom came back in, she threw a fit about it and tried to make them stop helping.  My husband told her that it was okay and he didn't mind.  She wouldn't accept it and shooed them out of the kitchen.  I grabbed my teenage daughters hand and pulled her out with me.  When my stepmom demanded we come back in and help,  I calmly told her that I wasn't raising my kids that way and we all help or none of us.\n\nHer and my dad tried arguing so we left.  Later on, my dad tried to guilt me into apologizing but I wouldn't.  After a few weeks, we all patched things up.\n\nToday, I was talking to my sister about the pandemic and how sad it is that we aren't having a family BBQ.  She said it's probably a good thing so I won't have to argue about cleanup. She implied that I was an asshole for how I handled Christmas so that has me wondering if I am in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou handled it well and you set a good example for your daughter.  It's wonderful that your husband is on your side and is also setting a good example to your kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody.\n\nFast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday.\n\nJob would be simple and anybody could do it from home. \n\nThat weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down. \n\nThe next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday. \n\nMonday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days.\n\nI called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me.\n\nAm I the asshole for making this choice? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou had to have someone who'd be open all 4 days. If your gf wasn't available for all 4 days then she wouldn't be a good candidate. If your gf is upset over it then she needs to understand that this was just a short job that needed to be done on those scheduled 4 days. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her.\n\nSo I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together.\n\nMy wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family.\n\nSo she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day.\n\nShe called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her.\n\nAlso for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family.\n\nTL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou had plans. She had plans. She didn’t say anything until after both your plans were in place. If she wanted you to cancel she should have said something earlier. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my husband are trying for a baby right now and his parents know about it. They told my sister in law I guess, we don’t have a bad relationship even tho we live far away, we still talk. She called me and brought up the baby topic, asked me if we were really trying and I told her yes. She asked “why now? There’s a huge pandemic going on and it’s kinda selfish bringing baby into all of this mess”, I told her that we have been trying for months already. She sarcastically asked why couldn’t we wait for a year or two and why was having a baby right now so fucking important. I just told her to kind her own business and hung up. \n\nOf course 2 days later there’s a post on her Facebook about “selfish people not caring about anything other than their stupid wants and needs.” She told her parents about it too and they’re telling me that I was a bit too harsh and I need to apologize. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou had every right to tell her to mind her own because spoiler alert! It's none of her fucking business. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F50) have two adopted siblings, Ray and Emma (20). I love them to death and since I have a significant amount of money and am child free I decided to pay for their college education. I set it up like a scholarship essentially, I would pay as long as they both kept their GPA’s at 3.0 or higher. They agreed to this along with our mother and everything’s going fine.\n\nRay has significantly  better grades than Emma but Emma is working hard as well. This last semester Emma received a 2.5 GPA while Ray got a 3.8. I told Emma that I wouldn’t pay for her school next semester or her summer classes and she freaked out. She said the only reason she did so poorly is because of the pandemic and working from home. While I’m sympathetic her midterms were poor as well. My mom is frustrated but understands a deal is a deal. I feel bad but at the same time she didn’t hold up her end of the deal.\n\nAITA for not paying for my sister to go to college this semester? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nYou had a mutual agreement and she didn't meet the conditions.\nAre you going to start paying again if her grades go up? Because that could be a good incentive. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats\n\nLast week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there.\n\nI told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou guys did not discuss this decision. He did it without you knowing but fully knowing you are allergic. Putting the cat on the bed is the cherry on top. Unbelievably insensitive. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that \"I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days\". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou got it approved and one can assume you’re doing it at reasonable hours. Hope he enjoys the 30 days of noise, by then you’ll probably be done lmao ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m upset because my boyfriend and I just finally moved into our first house. I believe it’s just as much mine as it is his, but he’s treating it as if it’s only his. *He never asked me in either situation, just offered it up and then told me afterwards.* He has offered up a place to stay to his sister and her boyfriend, and now his 2 friends. None of which would be able to pay rent\/pay for their own food, etc. That’s not even the biggest issue though, it’s that it’s our brand new house. It’s only been months! I just want my own place for once. I’ve been through the roommate situation so many times and it never worked out in my favour! He’s let people couch hop so many times, and “weeks” turned into years with them! AITA for not wanting this again?\n\n*Forgot to add, 2 of these people are addicts and I’ve been sober for years. I respect them but I don’t want that around us. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou get to have a say in who is living in your space with you and you get to decide how things will work financially. But realistically if he has done this before I don't know what you expected to happen now that you moved into a house. ######"}
{"prompt":"My family lives in an apartment building. Everyone works from home at the moment so I have a lot of time to cook which is one of my passions. Our neighbours both work in a hospital, she's a doctor and he's a nurse. So I asked them if they would like some food and they said yes. So the last few weeks I always froze heaps of food and gave it to them so that every day they could just quickly heat something up. They seemed to appreciate it.\n\nSkip to last Wednesday. It was my daughter's 16th birthday and I wanted to make her favourite cake. At 1pm I started mixing all ingredients together. Only 5 minutes later I hear someone ringing our doorbell. I was our neighbour and she seemed quite upset. She said they only just got home and wanted some rest. I apologised and explained it was my daughter's birthday. She said it's selfish of me and that right now there are other things that are more important and her sleep is one of those things. \nI felt really bad and later brought them 2 slices of the cake as an apology.\n\nBut later when I talked to my husband about it he said that yes some things are different now but that doesn't mean that our daughter's birthday is not important too. I thought about it and agreed. I haven't brought them any more food since. \n\nI do feel guilty for this and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.\n\nAITA for how I handle this situation ? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou gave them a helping hand and they bit it. Yes, their sleep is important but so is your daughters birthday and I believe this is the case of 'sounds like a you problem'. I would understand if she complained as like 10-12 pm but she has no right to complain at 1 pm, it's your time as much as hers and she needs to suck it up. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time posting and on mobile! I (35f) have been with my SO (42m) for ten years.  I don’t plan on getting married, but we’re committed to each other.  He’s not the best with money management or adult responsibilities (making appointments, calling to repair things, paying bills on time or at all, etc). With the recent situation he has been laid off.  I nagged him for a while about filing for unemployment and was told I’m better at that type of thing so I should do it.  My response was if I do this I’m putting it into my account to pay the bills.  I work in healthcare and typically pay rent and all utilities anyway, but my hours at work have even been cut back. He agreed.  Well, I filled out the forms and got notification that his unemployment claim went through.  Now he’s calling me a thief and saying I stole his money. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou flat out told him what would happen if you had to file for him. He agreed and now he’s shocked you’re doing what you said? That money is for bills and to feed his childish ass. \n\nHe had every chance in the world to act like an adult and do things he needed to do. You’re acting more like a mother to him than a girlfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (15M) family wants to make a \"family\" youtube channel. My 5-year-old sister is a huge fan of these Disney parody channels. I think its called like TotalistTv. Basically they do real-life parodies of disney highschool and superhero things. I at least think it is really cringe, but I get its aimed at kids so whatever. They get crazy amount of veiws and money, and my family wants to do it. They think with the being shut inside, we have the perfect chance to get a good start. The problem is they want the whole family to.\n\nMy first thought was hell no, for multiple reasons. 1, I dont want my face all over the internet. 2, I think its kinda dumb. 3, I dont want to give away my freetime for this. I explained this to my parents, they got mad. Haven't been grounded but I can tell they clearly arent happy, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nyou don’t have to participate in this especially because it’s very public and doesn’t suit your interests. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back, but it’s been bothering me lately and I really want to know if I was wrong. \n\nI (16f) work at a coffee shop. It’s a part time job and I like that I can make my own money and buy myself things without having to ask my parents. \n\nFor the most part I get along with all my coworkers. But there’s one coworker (we’ll call him J) who just makes me really uncomfortable. Whenever he walks past me he always touches my lower back. I quite honestly don’t like being touched, especially by people I’m not close with. It also makes things worse that he touches my lower back and not like my arm or my shoulder or something. \n\nAnyways, I’ve put up with it for a couple months. I wouldn’t say anything because I was too chicken shit but I would kinda shy away from J’s touch or move away whenever he touched me. \n\nSo, in December, we had a Christmas party where all the workers were there and we were just talking about next year’s goals and having coffee. I was talking to a coworker when J showed up and put his arm around my waist. I told him, really loudly, “don’t touch me”. A couple people were looking at us so he kind of winced and removed his hand. \n\nLater on, the coworker I was talking to told me that I was being an asshole and that I didn’t need to call J out in front of everybody like that, and that maybe he was doing it unconsciously. I brought up the fact that he had done it on multiple occasions before and she said that I didn’t have to be so loud about it, and that it was kinda dickish. \n\nSo, AITA for telling a coworker not to touch me? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou don't want to get touched, then you shouldn't get touched. \n\nMy only advice for the future: Don't wait a couple of months until you speak up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for very obvious reasons.\n\nI'm a guy. One of my close female friends is the type to go through \"phases\" of hobbies. Our friend group (a mix of guys and gals in their late twenties) has been very supportive of her interests. We bought paintings when she took up art, we ate all sorts of cupcakes when she sold baked goods, we promoted her blog when she decided she wanted to be a fashion influencer. Lately she's been talking about trying modeling and we thought she meant the Instagram kind, but it turns out she made an OnlyFans account and charges upwards of $50 for nudes. We have zero problem with her posting nude selfies online, she's very proud of her body and I respect her choice to do whatever she wants with it. But lately a lot of us have been talking because she wants us to subscribe to her and it's uncomfortable for a lot of reasons: $50 a month is a LOT of money, personally my girlfriend is very uncomfortable with me paying for nude photos of my friend, and honestly I don't want to see naked photos of someone I think of as a little sister. I had a talk with her and shared the group's concerns about her latest hobby and she lashed out, saying that we're not being supportive and accused me of objectifying her. I'm honestly stunned and a bit confused that I may have come off as an asshole with what I said. So let me have it: reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou don't owe your friends $50 to see nudes and start a fight with your girlfriend...\n\nIf you don't want to see em (seems like the case), don't look and don't pay ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) live with my parents and older brother. I’ll be honest - I do not like him. We do not get along. He’s annoying and intruding and loud and I could go on. I try to just ignore him. \n\nFor April fools day yesterday, as a “joke,” he decided to hide the pain medication I take to deal with my periods. I have horrible periods, especially the first couple days (which yesterday was) and the pain can be debilitating and make me cry if I don’t have the pain meds to help (even then, I still have pain, I’m just able to function).\n\nI basically couldn’t find them all day yesterday then this morning he gave them to me and said “April Fools!!” His prank was hiding this on me since I “relied on them so heavily and need to see I don’t need pain meds to get through the day.” He said that’s what I get for keeping the meds in the kitchen (which I do because they need to be taken with food and\/or water) \n\nI was fucking pissed. He saw me crying and wincing in pain and hid them from me? I told him to fuck off and that this would be the last conversation we’d have for a while. I’m ignoring him but he keeps texting me like “come on really?” And giving ME dirty looks in the hallway like I’m the one who did something wrong. \n\nMy parents are staying out of it as we’re both adults. They say f how I want to deal with is by ignoring him then it is what it is. \n\nAITA? I don’t think this was a joke. I think this is over the line. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou don't fuck with another person's medication. Ever. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty much I’m a senior in college [22F] and have no prospects of a love interest. I have always wanted to have kids and have a family ever since I was little. My mom [50F] keeps pressuring me to find someone and have kids so I can give the family grandkids. I keep telling her that quite frankly I don’t really want to bring kids into this world because I don’t want to bring them up on a dying planet. She says that I need to stop pretending to be environmentally friendly. She thinks I am who I was in high school. She doesn’t understand that I have been away at college for 4 years growing and changing my mindset. I keep reminding her that I am more than willing to adopt kids when that time comes around because I would still love to have a family but not bring more people onto this planet. I would love to give children that don’t have a chance, a chance. She constantly gets furious and insults me and says i’m pretending to love the Earth and need to stop saying these things. At the end of the day I know it’s my own body and my own choices but I just don’t understand what her issue is. Is she really that against not having grandchildren that are blood related? Or does she really thing I’m pretending? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou do you. Mother has no say in it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M) have 3 kids with my ex wife. My daughter (17F), who is the second oldest, is turning 18 in November. 18 is a significant milestone, so I think that when your kid turns 18 you should get them a major gift. When my son (21M) turned 18, I got him a motorcycle. \n\nSo with all this happening, I thought it would be nice to ask my daughter what she wants now so I have plenty of time for it. She and my younger son are staying with my ex-wife for the time being, so I called her to talk about it. She said that she wants full body laser hair removal. She told me the estimated price and it was less than what I paid for my son's motorcycle a few years ago so I agreed and said I would cover it.\n\nLater that night I get an angry call from my ex-wife. She overheard everything and didn't like it. She was saying that I shouldn't be encouraging my daughter to be \"vain\" or \"narcissistic\" and that she thought cosmetic surgery was a scam that \"preys on women's insecurities\". I responded that our daughter will be an adult at this point and that even then, she was being unreasonable. I explained that even if she didn't personally like it, it would make our daughter happy and that's what matters here. She wasn't swayed and said that I was being inconsiderate to her by going ahead with it.\n\nTo be honest, I'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. My daughter has always been very girly and put a lot of effort into her appearance. My ex-wife has always bot liked this and would try and encourage her to focus less on how she looks. Personally I've never had an issue with her and I just want her to do what makes her feel good, just like my sons with their different interests.\n\nI've already put the money aside for it and I've called my daughter again promising I'll cover it despite her mom's objections, so I'm not changing my mind. But I'm interested in getting some outside perspective. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou didn't suggest it to her, it's what she wants. Good on you for being thoughtful. Your ex needs to accept that her daughter won't be a carbon copy of her and her values. ######"}
{"prompt":" This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about \"forgetting something\" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou didn't get her fired.  She got **herself** fired by stealing from a coworker. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich. \n\nI thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed.\n\nShe came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me. \n\nThis is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou did this as a kind gesture to your wife. Just stop making her breakfast and tell her to cook herself if she wants perfection. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22 F) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21. \n\nWhen I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age. So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead. This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking. \n\nDuring the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem \"off\". At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID. He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn't plan on going on a second date. \n\nI told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou did the right thing, he could have been a minor. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer.  The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it.  The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100\/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened. \n\nNow when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around.  And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment.  When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling.  She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent.  We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her. \n\nShe thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if\/when we get married or have kids.  I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon.  With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future.  So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou did exactly what you should do when you get a pet and you started a savings account so that you could afford to take care of it. This is *your* money that you saved specifically for this purpose, and she's your pet.\n\nGirlfriend should just be happy she's with someone who is capable of helping her financially while *also* taking responsibility for his pets.  Seems like that would bode well for those kids she sees herself having with you.\n\nAnd really, what's the alternative here? Does she just want you to let your dog die of cancer? Fuck that. The dog's been around longer than she has.\n\nEdit: extra letter ######"}
{"prompt":"My (f22) boyfriend (m24) wants me to pretend to be religious and occasionally go to church with his family in the future, for fear that his mother would disapprove. He mentioned it when he found out about my atheism a few weeks after dating, and I was fine with it but now it just feels wrong.\n\nOn one hand, I understand his concern, as my own family disapprove greatly of my atheism, but on the other hand, I feel like he's ashamed of it, and I don't like that I'm once again having to hide a part of myself, for fear of what others think.\n\nHe at first claimed he wasn't that religious, but it became obvious that he is, and I've never had any problem with it. In fact, I love how strongly he feels about his religion, dispite the fact that I don't share it.\n\nI don't want to cause him any altercations with his family, especially since he's currently having to live with them \"(financial trouble), but I also don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, as it makes me feel like he doesn't fully accept me as I am. And there's also the fact that I already agreed to pretend, before I'd really thought about it.\n\nI wouldn't mind going to church with them every now and then, but I want to be able to be open about my atheism.\n\n\nSo WIBTA if I refuse to lie about my religion?\nEither way, I know it's something I need to discuss with him, but I still want the opinion of others. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou can't be an asshole for your own beliefs, but a good amount of relationships do not last when the family doesn't like who they are dating. Just be very careful with this situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it.\n\nUnfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard.\n\nNo pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too \"foreign\", and nothing \"unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops\/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most \"adventurous\" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties).\n\nIf left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast.\n\nI'm getting fed up of this.\n\nI want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen.\n\nI said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore.\n\nShe thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then.\n\nAITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou can still make enough for them but then it's up to them to eat it. You're not excluding him, he's excluding himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.\n\nShe mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too. \n\nThen she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.\n\nShe looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou can set whatever ground rules you want. Anyone can have preferences -- e.g., maybe you don't want to date someone more than 2 hours away, or someone who works night shift, or is in the military, or eats meat, or is vegan, etc. \n\nYour preference is to find someone who doesn't have kids. That's fine. Better to establish that now than several dates in. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because I don't want to be recognised. \nIm still on vacation so this is written in mobile. Also english is my 2.nd language se excuse me for any mistakes.\n\nWhere I am from traveling is legal. So now onto the story.\nI booked myself an apartment for 3 weeks. I have allredy staid here for 8 days. Neighbours came yesterday. I wanted to have extra space so I took the bigger appartment. There is a shared house but there is a wall between our appartments. If everything id devided on 3 i have 2\/3 and neighbour has 1\/3 of a house. This also applies for the terrace.\nI am alone and my neighbour is with his wife and daughter. So they are preety tight on space.\nToday he asked me if he could put some stuff on my terrace scince I had a lot of extra space. I politely refused and said that i booked bigger one because I preffer having bigger terace and more space. \nHe then tried convincing our landlord(if that's what you call them) and she said that he has to deal this with me.\nHe asked me again and I told him that if he wants extra space he should get a bigger appartnent.\nBut was I in the wrong? Should I let him some of my space?\nThank you. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou booked the larger (and I'm guessing more expensive?) apartment. Simple as. If he'd asked once and accepted your no then it would be fine. But he tried to go over your head, and then came back to you. That is out of order.\n\nIf I book a hotel room, I don't get to march up the penthouse suite and use their facilities, because I didn't book that room. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now.\n\nRecently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans?\n\nThis is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou bf clearly does not believe that cheating is a problem in a relationship. That should be a red flag to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou asked her multiple times. She doesn’t listen. This is the only way to get her to stop. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely.\n\nMy boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA?\n\nEDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50\/50!  ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou aren't telling him he can't remain friends with her. You are telling him you aren't cool with her as a roommate. Which is valid no matter the reason, but that she is his ex is certainly a very good reason to not want her living with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"For some context I’m a college student currently studying from home\n\nI was on a call to some of my friends on my laptop when a family member of mine shouted up to borrow my laptop the next day. I initially thought he meant right at that moment so ended up snapping at him but then afterwards I said about my classes which I had at the time he needed it but due to us both being annoyed it ended up in a shouting match. He left saying he wouldn’t borrow it but my family turned around and were making it seem almost as if I was acting spoilt and not sharing as I didn’t come up with a solution or compromise and instead just said no. \n\nThis isn’t the first time this has happened in relation to my laptop but it’s usually bad timing when I have some work to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou aren't responsible for his needs. You could simply refuse to let someone else use your laptop at all, at any time. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner (30m) and I (33f) are buying a house, and he’s never been that great at saving money.\nI’m sorting everything out and paying for a lot of things. All of the money is coming from a previous house sale of mine, but he’s chipping in here and there when he can. And he has said that he will try to save as much as he can before we move (he’s a carpenter and is currently getting about £650 a week after tax).\n\nHis finances have always been a worry to me as he spends frivolously at times and I know that’s a red flag. \n\nHowever solicitors and advisors need to see our statements and so naturally I’ve seen his too. This has made him uncomfortable and annoyed. We have argued about this with me saying it’s just part of the process.\n\nAnyway, he had 120 quid on Monday and suddenly today he’s asking me for money again. This has happened before. When he got home I asked how he’d spent 120 in two days and an argument has happened. I mean literally him blowing up like after my one question and basically screaming.\n\nI’ve tried to explain like this situation is serious, he needs to get a handle on his finances because buying a home together isn’t a joke. I’m tied to him financially and I should be allowed to ask questions (in my opinion).\n\nHe can be pretty spiteful and childish in arguments so it’s pretty useless trying to get anything out of him. I’m a very calm person and don’t fight at all, but I’m pretty upset about this because he’s making me really worried about buying a home with him.\n\nHe earns more than I do and I’m able to save money quite well, I don’t understand how money goes through his fingers like liquid. He’s clearly very defensive of me asking anything about what he spends it on and he’s just blown up and said I’ve ruined his evening - even though I’ve had to lend him money tonight to buy food. \n\nAnyway I want to ask AITA because maybe I am being out of line and I don’t realise? Please help! ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou aren't on the same page regarding finances. DO NOT PURCHASE A HOME WITH HIM. Hash out a budget (inclusive of fun things) and see if he can keep to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm writing this late at night so excuse me for any errors. \n\nFor context: I'm 14M and lately, my mom has been making my sister sleep in my bed. I value my privacy, and I've literally been babysitting her for MONTHS now. I think that's more than enough time spent together. My room is the only private space I get in the house (even the bathrooms aren't safe) and I really don't want my sister to invade it. Every time I ask why it's either she's tired, or she's sick. I call bs on both because she shows no signs of being sick, and she's quite lively, and she randomly gets up at all hours of the night to get food\/drink.\n\n She sent my sister to my room tonight and I simply sent her out. I feel like my mom is gonna berate me tomorrow morning, so I need to know before anything happens. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou are the child, not the parent. \n\nWhere is this kid supposed to sleep? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in the next few months but we currently are in a weird financial problem. Basically his parents are both not working and we're not sure if they need to borrow money. I have money saved up in my own savings to pay for a couch from IKEA thats on sale currently but he wants to wait until we know whats going on financially. I would still be able to help his parents out if I bought it. I just don't want to miss the sale and then have to pay an extra $500 for the same couch in a couple months. \n\nWould I be the asshole if I just bought it anyway and stored it at my parents till we moved? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou are not obligated to give money to his parents. The fact that you intend to help them out with any amount of money should be enough for your boyfriend. \nYou can do what you want with your money... ######"}
{"prompt":"So yesterday while i was at work my GF tipped a glass full of juice right into my PC, by accident of course. Its a build where the motherboard is \"facing\" upwards so it got all over there and basicly none of the parts are good anymore. Its about a 1500 dollar machine that i use everyday for school and for gaming. \n\nShe called me when i was at work and she was very nervous, scared and sorry for what had happened. After that I have been pretty cold towards her not speaking much, not because im mad at her but i dont really know what to do and im kind of stuck im my own head just thinking. So just a couple of hours ago she asked me not to be so mean to her and stop being so distant and that \"she doesnt deserve this kind of treatment\", and that she has said she was sorry a lot, which she has. But im not this way as punishment, i know she is sorry but honestly right now that doesnt really help. When i said i cant really focus on her right now she started crying and left the room.\n\nAITA for acting this way? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou are frustrated at the situation. You need to deal with it in your own way. I know it was an accident but has she offered to help with the replacement at all? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, I'll try to keep this short.\n\nI'm a digital artist and graphic designer. I've mostly done it for fun until recently, when a peer wanted to commission a piece. This led to a small wave of commissions, which has been great. No issues with what I charge and it's gone smoothly. \n\nIt was suggested that I try to get more visibility in our local drag scene, because there's a demand for art and graphic design and they also like to commission locally. To do this, I offered a peer who is active in the drag scene a buy-one-get-one deal. They pay for one piece (for one of their drag personas) and I would do a second logo design for free.\n\nWell, I finished the first one. They loved it but when it came time for payment, they were dodgy and hard to contact. It ultimately took them two months to finally pay me. During those two months, though, they used the image in multiple places (mostly with no credit to me at all). I even found out through a friend that they made prints of it as an auction item without talking to me or crediting me. Again, this was all before I was even paid.\n\nI understand that I am definitely a naive idiot for not protecting myself. There is no contract regarding terms of use and I was stupid enough to send them the art with no watermark before getting any kind of payment. That's on me, I guess. Lesson fully learned.\n\nBut regardless, they were someone I thought of as a friend and I feel very used. They're now pestering me for the free second design. WIBTA if I say no? My friends and SO are emphatically telling me not to give them free art, but I feel bad, since I did technically offer it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou are being used. Do not give away your artwork to this person. There actions in using your work without attribution and delaying their payment to you negates any agreement you had in place. ######"}
{"prompt":"I haven't left the house in almost 3 weeks, I HATE shaving.  It is probably my biggest pet peeve cause whenever I shave I have stuble literally the next day and it pisses me off.  Since my mom and dad have forced me to stay and I'm forbidden from leaving I don't see a need to shave.  Its been 3 weeks since I've even touched my razor.  I don't grow hair fully on my cheeks but I have a full on beard at this point, it looks ugly as shit and its unkept.  I do wash it in the shower with shampoo and stuff so it doesn't smell just looks ugly.  \n\nMy sister recently asked me to shave cause it looks hideous.  I told her I'm not shaving till I have to go out, and that I hate shaving.  She said that she hates looking at it and I basically told her tough luck.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou are an autonomous being and as unsightly as it may be, the beard is clean. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I live together. We are both pretty laid back people. Now, my girlfriend is normal weight, a little on the chubbier side but still super attractive to me. Today, she tried out a smaller dress and asked if it made her look fat.\n\nI said she looked amazing, she said I didn't answer the question. So, I said she looked great and she said I should answer tell her the \"truth\". I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes.  I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and started crying. \n\nAt this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. She claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou answered. She didn't believe your answer, and asked another two times until you told her the \"truth\". If she didn't want an honest answer she shouldn't keep asking. I hate when people do that crap. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou agreed to pay for the increase in cost from **your usage** not his. It's as simple as that, and if he's abusing your paycheck because he's a cheap jerk than feel free to turn the heat off. ######"}
{"prompt":"She’s only 20 and is pregnant. She was incredibly upset when she found out as she’s not ready for a baby and isn’t financially stable whatsoever. I felt really bad for her when she was telling me........until I asked her if she was using any protection and this is how the conversation went. \n\nMe: Are you on birth control? \n\nHer: No.\n\nMe: Did you use a condom? \n\nHer: No.\n\nMe: Did he at the very least pull out?\n\nHer: No. \n\nMe: Did you take PlanB?\n\nHer: No.\n\nAfter that I told her (not in a angry tone or anything) “what did you expect? You didn’t prevent it at all it’s not really a surprise you got pregnant.” And she’s now upset with me and told me I was being incredibly rude and insensitive about the situation. I was being as comforting to her as I could but after being informed she did absolutely nothing to prevent it I got super confused as to why she was so surprised about becoming pregnant? Unprotected sex = possibly getting pregnant. I don’t think it was rude to say that as it’s a no brainer... especially since she didn’t want to get pregnant and is in no way ready? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou absolutely should have called her out for being irresponsible. Pointing out that her choices lead to her current situation is the only way she might learn and correct future behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"33F, married, financially stable and happy with a couple cats and a senior dog\n\nMy mother (67 F) is a cancer survivor and was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor. Considering her history with treatment, the prognosis isn't good. \n\nShe and I aren't close. She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother *loves* babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter. Unfortunately for her, I'm childfree. I like kids. I even work with babies, and I'm good with them. But I've never wanted one, and I'm an only child.\n\nI called her after the diagnosis came in to check on her, and - in tears - she declared that now is the time that I *have* to give her a grandbaby. The doctor is giving her about a year to live, perfect timing if I get pregnant now apparently. She says this is the only thing that would make her feel better about dying.\n\nAs usual, I said no. I don't want a kid. My spouse doesn't want a kid. That's it.\n\nNow, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm TA for refusing her dying wish. They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child.\n\nTo be clear, I'm not going to change my mind. A lot of factors have gone into my decision not to have babies, and a few old people calling me a self-absorbed bitch won't change that, but I'll admit that perhaps I am, in fact, a self-absorbed bitch. \n\nWhat say you, reddit? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYou Absolutely CANNOT bring a HUMAN into the world to placate a dying woman. Sorry, but that's just absurd.\n\nEdit: anyone pressuring you into having a kid should raise the kid!! Oh, they don't want to do that?? Big surprise. ######"}
{"prompt":"My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes. \n\nWhen I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude. \n\nNow I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol. \n\nI just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYes, mood swings while pregnant are absolutely a thing, and they can be super intense.  But, that doesn’t excuse someone being an asshole. Her comments have crossed that line, and it sounds like she’s using the pregnancy as an excuse to say whatever she wants.\n\nEven if the mood swings are entirely to blame on this, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. You are totally within your rights to just keep your distance for a bit, or through the rest of the pregnancy, etc.\n\nEven if someone is “justifiably” rude, doesn’t mean you have to take it.\n\nIf this was actually due to the hormones, she’d feel bad afterward for saying something in the moment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.\n\nNow a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like \"I've lost all ties to this family\" or \"My family is falling apart\". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with \"Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?\" \n\nI feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?\n\nSo AITA?\n\nTL\/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nYeah, never knew how many family members I had til I moved to popular destinations..  \n\nOn that note, I’d give them one shot. Let them say what they have to say and to each person I’d reply why are they reaching out now when they’ve had X years to try and talk?  Just cause they need\/should learn their actions had consequences. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic.  I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister.  I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can.  To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself.\n\nI've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me.  I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me.  I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them.  She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run.  This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents.  When I got upset, he slunk off pouting.\n\nMy sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food?\n\nP.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWtf, your mother and father are displaying enormous amounts of ignorance and rudness. I mean, your Dad literally helped himself to food you bought for yourself without asking while your back was turned. That's not normal at all. I would snap if my parents did that crap. \n\nUnfortunately, my advice would be to hide your food from your parents. Utterly pathetic behaviour especially from your dad. Like serously, What the actual fuck? ######"}
{"prompt":"**This happened before COVID-19**\n\nI babysit kids age 2 to 10 since I was 14 (I'm now 16M). I sometimes babysit multiple of them at ones (max 4). Around August last year, there was a woman who asked me to babysit her 5-year-old son on a Saturday, which was alright for me. I ask details like allergies and such when she mentioned he wasn't vaccinated, I immediately refused and said that I won't babysit her son for the health of the other kids I had scheduled that day. She began to argue with me saying that I'm her only option left and that if I  refused she couldn't make her cousin's funeral (this is not a sob story, it was true, learned it from her sister). I still refused for the same reason as I said previously. She then left muttering something I couldn't understand.\n\nI felt a bit guilty, but it was gone when I learned that she complained to the city council about my 'illegal' babysitting service. (It's not illegal since in my country you need a licence or something if you babysit 9 or more children per week and I only do it on the weekend, vacation or not.) They inspected me and they did say I should change a few things for the safety of the kids, but I was safe.\n\nBut was I the asshole back then? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWow, you so much dodged a bullet. She complained to city council?? Mate, if anything had happened to her kid, and I mean anything, as small as a stain on their shirt, she would have been at your throat and made you pay for it.\n\nAlso completely fair for you. No jab no play. her decision, her consequences to bear ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my boyfriend\n\nNow to give you some clarification, its not like I particularly dress for \"unwanted\" attention. I do dress nice I guess, as in, I like to wear cute flats with a blazer and pretty blouse. But I'm not the type to show my cleavage and bum, and even if a gal did, thats her prerogative. Anyways I dress for myself. And no one else. \n\nAnyways, I was out with my BF the other day as restrictions were getting lifted. I will say, I might have looked extra polished as I spent extra time on my hair and makeup for the day. \n\nMy boyfriend got upset with me about how (according to him) guys were always checking me out and today it was \"bad\" and I was facilitating it. I was \"enabling their pig thoughts\" it got pretty heated. He said it was comparable to me being \"slutty\".\n\nHere's the thing. My boyfriend checks out other women. A lot. I gneenrally don't care. So for him to be upset with other dudes checking me out? Fuck that. \n\nI told him that if he's going to check out other women, then dont be a hypocrite and controlling douchebag and be all uppity when guys do the same to me. Its not like I'm asking for their numbers. \n\nEither its okay to you or it isnt. You can't have it both ways. \n\nAnyways he called me a bitch after I called him a hypocrite and now that I've cooled down, im.not sure if I went too far.\n\nAITA. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWow, just wow. It’s not even you checking out guys it’s you being checked out by them. You have almost no control over that, and it’s unreasonable to expect you to wear like a frumpy sweater 24\/7 if that’s not you. \n\nMaybe find someone else ######"}
{"prompt":"Background &amp; Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress\/frustration\/constant policy changes.\n\nYears ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.\n\nIncident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental\/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress\/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it. \n\nFew friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhy is she so helpless? I didn’t know how to make a resume until I made one. If she can’t fill out a job application, she probably shouldn’t have a job. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like \"I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game.\" when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhy is he in a relationship with you if he can't or won't spend an hour or two alone with you? It's considered rude to be on a phone call or texting other people while spending time with someone. Everyone knows that. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my son’s best friends has been coming to stay with us a lot since they became friends. My son loves sleepovers and I don’t have an issue with hosting (a lot of his friends can’t as they live in trailers).\n\nThis one boy, Jackson, is great. He’s a lovely kid, but his mom sends him over without pajamas and he sleeps in his birthday suit!!!! in our beds :\/\n\nI was fine with this on a one off basis, but he’s starting to come over more now and I don’t want him to set an example of my son.\n\nWIbTa if I mentioned this to his mother. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhy does he sleep in his birthday suit? Why not in underwear and a T-shirt? ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty sure that I'm not the asshole but want to make sure.\n\nSo my girlfriend (24f) moved in with me (26m) like 6 months ago. I have two cats I got before I met her.  Since they are my cats, I do everything to take care of them. Including scooping the litter box every day.\n\nNo problems, and then suddenly, my gf decides that I need to clean them twice daily. Because it is gross to only do it once a day. I'm not sure why she thinks so or even really cares. She never cleans the boxes and she can't even smell them.\n\nI kinda suspected this was some sort of test and that she just wanted to see if I would do what she said. So I decided to address her stated concerns (that it is gross to only scoop once daily) by getting some self cleaning boxes. \n\nIf she was genuinely concerned about the litter boxes being too gross, self cleaning ones will (presumably) be an even better solution than she wanted. I was considering buying them anyway, and this just pushed me to do it.\n\nShe was mad when I told her. She became even more mad when I pretended not to know why she was mad and demanded an explanation.  She eventually admitted that she was pissed I came up with a \"loophole\" around obeying her demand. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhy do you want to be with someone so awful? ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: So I have 4 siblings in total 3 brothers (ages of 19, 17 and 16) and 1 sister who is 12 and I am 14.  Me and my sister share a room, and our brothers can eat enough for a small village.  Like literally nothing lasts more than a day in my house and my parents refuse to buy anything until the week is up so there is never any snacks in the house.  \n\nMe and my sister have started stock piling snacks in our room for us to share away from our brothers cause they would just eat it all.  We keep it all in a little safe in our room, it is one of those electronic ones so it takes a code.  We both came up with just 2 digits of the code and we don't tell each other so we don't hog more food for ourselves and its always fair when we get food.  \n\nWe were running low and I spent about 25 bucks filing it up, while she does put her own money in too I have way more cause I'm older and can actually leave the house tot he store by myself without anyone tagging along.  I have noticed that the cabinet can barely stay full for more than 2 weeks and I am starting to lose a lot of money.  \n\nShe recently asked me if she could have something out of there close to dinner time and I told her no and to wait till after dinner if she was still hunger (dinner was about in 2 or 3 hours).  She got upset and told me to just do her a favor and I refused.  I said if she really wants something ill go to the store with her and she can buy something herself.  She wasn't happy and said I'm being unreasonable.  \n\nShe was all pissy for the rest of the day and didn't speak to me for almost the whole day but got over it when we were going to bed.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWho the asshole is? Your parents for not controlling their sons’ gluttony to the point their daughters feel the need to hoard food in a freaking safe. That’s just begging for eating disorders to develop. Snacks are great once in a while but they need to be eating more at main meals and not hogging all the snacks meant to last a week. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move\n\nMe [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it. \n\nThis for context: \"Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die.\"\n\nI told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.\n\nHe started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.\n\nLater when he walked by me he said \"Hi, Slut\" really angrily.\nNow I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.\n\nI'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nWho calls their SO a slut?  Assholes- thats who. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.\n\nWhen we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing. \n\nMy husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.\n\nThen today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”. \n\nAm I being difficult here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhile you are being \"difficult\", as you put it, as his legal parents you have every right to do so and she should respect it. It's not that big of an ask really. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot. \n\nI was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped. \n\nFor about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.\n\nThere were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did. \n\nThis is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhile I have some sympathy for Julie, in the end her child wanted or not is partly her responsibility. The interests of the kid comes first in a situation like this.\n\nShe doesn’t need or have to play mum, she just needs to pay up and make sure the kid has a roof over their head and food in the fridge. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time. \n\nWe have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly. \n\nHowever when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs\/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.\n\nMy reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.\n\nSo now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).\n\nSo I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.\n\nSo today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate. \n\nShe's now saying I can use \"our\" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhen you wanted to use your “joint” finances for college she told you to save up for it separately. \n\nShe’s only now changing her mind and saying you can use “our” money because your now not willing to pay for her to buy more fish and she’s realising she’s going to have to pay for them herself. \n\nI think the telling things seems to be that it’s only joint money when she benefits from it as well. In other words she’s getting something she wants out of it (in this case new fish) yet when it was only going to benefit you (I.e find your college tuition) she wanted you to save separately. \n\n\nI think you do need to sit down and have a proper discussion about finances. Because if this issue is coming up now whilst your in college and unable to work the hours you had been. There is a chance it will continue coming up in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times. \n\nTL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhen I started reading this, I thought, the guy’s just lonely, just be friendly and polite. Then it got into harassment territory. My opinion is you should try explaining that he’s making you uncomfortable. \n\nIf that doesn’t work (and it kinda sounds like it may not), then you may have to be more assertive in getting him to leave you alone (not mean or rude, just assertive). Good luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad died before I was born, and until I was about 7 it was just me and my mom.  She started dating this guy at her work, he had 4 kids of his own all around my age.  At first I liked it, cause it was nice to have a dad around and his kids were nice enough to me.  The dated for about 7 years and though they weren't really married every vacation and holiday was spent at their place or they would come over to ours. \n\nThe problems comes up when they officially got married about 10 months ago, we moved in with them cause they had a really big house.  But they also lived 6 hours away from us, so that means my childhood neighborhood was gone, my childhood house was gone, all my childhood friends were gone, my school that I went to since pre-school was gone and I had to move 6 hours.  As a result of all this I spend a lot of my time in my room, usually on face time with my friends or calling them.\n\nLast night they were having a family movie night and they invited me but my friends were all getting on for a FaceTime call and I opted out of the movie night to talk with my friends.  After I was done talking my mom came into my room to lecture me about how I am \"excluding\" my new family.  I said that it was too much change and I need time to adjust, she said I can but that I'm being a jerk with how I'm acting through this whole thing.  AITA??? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhat you feel and what you’re doing is completely normal. I too had to move away from everything of my childhood so I have an idea of what you’re going through and I did the same thing.\n\nYou’re mom however, I have mixed feelings about. I understand that she wants you to bond because she probably wants everyone to be a happy family and all that jazz. \nBut the fact is that you were pulled away from basically everything you knew. You need time and forcing you to socialise isn’t always the answer. I feel like she lectured you because she was embarrassed about her son’s behaviour in front of her new family. Her step kids are paying a lot of attention as to how she deals with you because they know that she will be acting as a parent to them as well. \nYou just need time and the ENTIRE family needs to know that ie, her, the husband and his kids. His kids weren’t moved. YOU were. To be honest, if my own mom had forced me to socialise when I moved, I would have surely resented her. I’m not sure if you’ll have the same response but keep an eye out for it. \nFurthermore, you’re 14 and though young, you’re your own person and have your own feelings. The fact is your mom signing a paper and moving in with a guy and his kids doesn’t magically make you family. It takes work on both sides.\nIf it is that you truly desire to have a relationship with your step siblings (healthy relationships aren’t forced), it will be in your own time, but remember to always remain respectful to them. \nIf she wants you to socialise that badly, EVERYONE would need to come together to figure out when would be a good time, and what would be fun for everyone to do.\nI would also say that just because your mom found a guy that she’s in love with (which is totally fine) doesn’t make her entitled to dictate that you sacrifice the relationships with the people of your childhood that you want to keep in your life. \nNext time just tell her to relax and that there’s enough of you to go around for everybody lolol! You have time during this pandemic after all!\nGood Luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year around October.\n\nI was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said \"hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays.\"\n\nWhen I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors.\n\nLater on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about \"our amazing afternoon on \\[street\\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to.\" Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was.\n\nAnyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time. \n\nWas I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhat gall!  Your house, your property.  You didn't invite them over.  They imposed, they invaded, and now they think they have a right to bully and harass you?   Some people have anxiety disorders, and this would be considered a bloody nightmare to endure. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway bc it’s not a very common situation...\n\nOk so I’m not really sure how to say this, but it happened a few months ago, and everyone keeps calling me a bad person for it.\n\nTo start, I am a lesbian, from a very anti-LGBT family. One of my friends is also gay, and she is VERY open about it, like her whole life is rainbow themed (I.e. her hair, bags, phone case).\nAnd we have been hanging out at like malls and everything, just anywhere but my house, for obvious reasons.\n\nSo one day, she suggests we should hang out at my house, since she has never been there for the 5 years we have been friends. I say that I would like her too, but if she would not act so openly gay around my family, because I:\n1) don’t want to out myself\n2) my family can be dickheads to anyone LGBT\n3) they won’t let me be friends with her anymore\n\nAnd she said that I was trying to discriminate against her and the LGBT community, and how I shouldn’t make her hide her true self. I get where she is coming from, but I have explained my situation to her.\n\nThen, she told all my friends, and they all agree with her that I am an asshole. I can’t help but feel shitty, but I can’t change my situation, and I don’t want to make things worse.\n\nSo people of reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nWhat a weird stance for her to take!!\n\nYou absolutely don't have to come out to your family, especially while you're still living with them. And she should be more interested in your safety than in expressing her LGBT pride to a bunch of bigots who might harass one or both of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF of 5 years whom i love recently became hardcore vegan.  We live at my ranch out in the country on a few acres of land.  I own a flock of about 15 hens and a rooster as well.  I'm not a farmer or anything but these guys are my pets.  I am to emotionally attached to my hens to eat them but have no problem with eating other meat.    \n\n\nMy girlfriend wants to get rid of them cause they give her PTSD and reminds her of how terrible chickens are treated elsehwere.  She also gets made at me for eating their eggs without their consent.  I agreed to get rid of them because I am a pushover but then changed my mind.  she said I was a liar and a backstabber and we are having a serious problem with this.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nUsing PTSD, a very real + horrible disorder resulting from trauma, to guilt you into getting rid of your chickens (that you treat well!) is extremely manipulative and pretty insulting to anyone who actually suffers from that IMO. ######"}
{"prompt":"Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled\/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. \n\nFast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know\/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL\/SIL are not available\/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. \n\nBecause of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. \n\nAITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nUntil a kid is around 3, they don’t really understand birthdays. Your kid is looking forward to celebrating with you. The extended family are TAs for not being flexible about a party for a one year old. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's always been an unspoken rule at my home that if someone buys a console everyone could use it (though the person who got it could choose where to put it and always had a right to use it first if they wanted to). Everyone agreed with that and it was really useful because we'd be able to have a wider array of consoles. \n\nSometimes we'd buy games with everyone's money if everyone wanted to play that specific game. A few months back, we did that, but since the digital version was less expensive we downloaded it on my brother's Switch (I also have one, but therefore can't play it on my own Switch). I also got a PS4 that I bought with my own money that I got from working part-time.\n\nMy brother has been the one who used it the most. He uses it so much that there are often times where I wait an entire evening only to realise that it's too late to play anymore. Over the last weeks I've asked him several times if I could play that game we had bought on his Switch and he just told me to play something else. \n\nI'm honestly pretty frustrated by his attitude and want to tell him to no longer touch my PS4. However I feel like it would be a pretty asshole-ish move to single him out. \n\nWIBTA if I told him that ? \n\nWhen I asked for a ######","completion":" NTA\n\nUnspoken rules aren't sacrosanct, and if they're not working there's nothing wrong with changing them. Besides, your brother can't expect to deny you a \\*joint purchase\\* on the Switch and also get to play your PS4, which you bought solely with your own money, whenever he wants.\n\nThis is a prime opportunity to teach him that his selfishness has consequences; make it clear to him that the PS4 is yours, you bought it, and if he's going to tell you not to play a Switch game you bought together when he's not even playing it, your PS4 is now off-limits to him until you say otherwise.\n\nEven if you don't want to go that far with it...it's your PS4. If he's on it and you want to play it, tell him his time is up and it's your turn now. If he refuses, point out that he contributed nothing to the console and he has a Switch game he can go play instead. ######"}
{"prompt":"We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him. \n\nI want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.  \n\nI tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute. \n\nHe says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me. \n\nHe says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nUnless you count the fact that your being and asshole to yourself and your kid by putting up with this. Is this really how you want to raise your child and live the rest of your life? With a man who puts down those around him and uses leverage to manipulate the ones he should love unconditionally? ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been married to my wife for about 3 months now, and we had her out first serious argument when I got angry with her for calling her mom to take her somewhere while I'm home and not doing anything. She always does things like this. Calling her parents for rides or help instead of me. My friends tell me that I should be happy, but I'm not. It's ridiculous in my opinion. We're married, we live together. ASK me before you ask your damn parents like you still live with them or something.\n\nI work during the day and she works during the night. Why not ask me to pick you up from work? Why not ask me to take you places even if I'm not going there with you? We've never even been grocery shopping together because she always asks her dad to take her. Like wtf? What's the point of being married or living together at that at? When I tried to talk to her about it she lashes out at me telling me basically the same thing my friends did, that I should be happy that she doesn't bother me for favors or anything.\n\n\nBut that's the fucking problem. Why are you even referring to asking your husband for something as a fucking favor?  It's not even just giving rides. It's a variety of things in general. She gets her dad to cut our grass (I'm a grown ass man, why do you think I want your damn dad cutting our grass, for free at that?), she gets her mom to pick up things like medicine and drop it off, she'll drop our dog off at her parents so they can watch him even if I'm home. The list goes on. I'm not that macho man super masculinity type, but holy shit it's degrading.\n\n\n\nAm I the asshole here and I should be happy? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nUnless this is a sixth sense situation where you died but haven't realized it yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard... \n\nSo I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over... \n\nWe just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food.\n\nShe didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again. \n\nI was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter. \n\nWe got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate....\n\nIt’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us.... \n\nSo AITA for walking out on the bill? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTwo hours?? Even if they were absolutely swamped then it shouldn't take two hours for a TGI's to serve a couple of mains. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it. \n\nSo I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist:\n\n1) I want a male therapist \n\n2) I want an older male, someone over 50\n\nThis is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have \"daddy issues\" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age. \n\nAnyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTime to stop sharing those thoughts with your sis.\n\nOnce you've worked through some things, your therapist's gender probably won't matter much anymore. But at this time, before therapy, it matters. And that's okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 23, graduated from college 3 years ago and works retail for minimum wage. She has a BA in international relations, but says she can't find a higher paying job or a career job. She has never paid a bill or rent in her life, I have taken care of everything for her from college, to bills, to her car, vacations etc. Only thing she pays for now is her phone bill and her expenses (I cleared a 3k CC bill for her as a grad gift 2 years ago). She lives with us and my wife and I provide all food etc. \n\nShe doesn't seem motivated to find at all to better her life, I told her to go back to college, or get her masters or something. She just says that all of her friends are in the same position she's in and she knows no one born her year ('96) that has a decent job. I find this very hard to believe that all of her friends are like this and none of them have a good job. Her brother who is graduating this June has a job paying 85k a year lined up, he has a BA in business and he even got his own apartment. I tell her that you and your brother both have BA's, how's he doing better than you already? She doesn't have an answer.\n\nI told her that when the pandemic is over I want her to either go back to school, put in effort to find a better job or start paying bills. I told her she can live with us still but I want $500 a month for rent and groceries. I did this to light a fire under her hopefully. \n\nShe called me a huge asshole and a bad father because apparently I don't understand how hard it is to find a job that pays her at least 45k a year and is a career type job. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThough I do want to say, it is a difficult time out there right now. I have no trouble believing that your daughter and her friends are struggling to find decent jobs. So while I don't agree that you're TA, I think you should try and be understanding of her situation and not compare her to her brother. \n\nBut, your daughter is working and earning her own money. My parents did something similar when I was around that age. She's plenty old enough to contribute to the household. What you're asking for doesn't seem completely unreasonable to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.\n\nI practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises\/cuts\/injuries, people tend to ask about them.\n\nI was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied \"well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!\" (it got cancelled of course).\n\nWell another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).\n\nWell HR suspended me for the rest of the day, \"investigated\" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.\n\nI instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a \"hostile work environment\" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.\n\nI have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis woman sounds like an absolute pest. I'd contact HR myself and say you think she has it out for you.\n\nI've never been \"friends\" with any of my coworkers (well, maybe like 2, over a course of 10 years). I come in, do a job, then go home. No need to talk to her if you are not cooperating on a project. ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn't dramatic, or too serious.   \n\n\nWe're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.   \n\n\nMy son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money. \n\nMy husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.   \n\n\nBut my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis was an EXCELLENT parenting move and lesson teacher.\n\nThank you! ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M)\nWe have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my.\" Social life\" \nEvery since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis  with his friends online.\n\nTwo days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that \"there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym\"\n\nSo today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said \"don't expect me to love you after this.\nAITA  here? Really? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis sounds so far into the controlling and abusive behaviour it is hard to believe this is exactly how things went down. If it is, you need to get into some counseling immediately and\/or considering terminating the relationship as it is not healthy at all.\n\nI hope it isn't true, but that might just be wishful thinking. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a bit of context.\nI’ve been begging my husband to let me buy a car since he’s been driving me literally everywhere for over 2 years because he doesn’t want to spend money on a car or insurance. He ended up telling me no again because we need to continue putting money into our savings. I got pretty upset seeing as we have $16000 in our savings already and I just want a used car to drive myself to work. \nHe saw how upset I was and decided to build me my own computer so we could play video games together. I told him once a while ago that I really don’t want a computer and would rather put the $1000 towards a car. But then he started showing me different video games and won’t stop talking about it and I don’t have the heart to tell him I actually have no interest in playing any video games since they kind of bore me. Now it’s annoying the hell out of me because he’s asking me what kind of mouse and keyboard I want and complains when I tell him “I like how this one looks” because “that’s a shitty one” “that’s not a gaming keyboard” and I sort of lost it and yelled and told him “buy me whatever, I really don’t care about this at all!” And he said it hurt his feelings so I apologized and kind of lied and told him how excited I am to have a computer. Not only that but he decided to spend another $100 on wood and materials to build our computer desk. We also need to buy another chair and headset for me. At this point, I feel like if I tell him that not only do I not care about video games, but that this is all a huge waste of money to me, he would be extremely upset and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Should I just try to get into video games for him or should I tell him the truth? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis seemed like it was full of red flags for financial abuse, so I checked your post and comment history. My friend, you are absolutely in an abusive relationship. Your therapist is right. Not only is he controlling you financially, he's manipulating you emotionally, limiting where you can go\/who you can see, and he *has been physically violent.* You are *not* the asshole for not wanting his pretend present here. You need to get out and I sincerely hope you take these comments to heart. *You are being abused.* ######"}
{"prompt":"Excuse my English, it is not my first language.\n\n1 year ago my sister became vegan overnight after watching a documentary called Dominion, she quickly started making changes to our home, from making our parents change salad dressings, to have her own pans and a lot of stuff that personally bothered me. \n\nWhat I did next I know I was the asshole, and  I am not asking about this part but it is important for context. I told my sister, that her whole vegan thing was bothering everyone in the house and from now on I was going to make sure it didn't even help animals, so I said to her \"for every animal you don't eat I am going to eat three, so you being vegan is a net negative for animal welfare\". So I switched overnight to a extremely meat heavy diet. \n\nWell I didn't expect it but I feel much better eating this way, I have more energy, my skin cleared up, I have no brain fog, I actually feel amazing. My sister came crying to me the other day to stop eating the way I do and to \"grow up\" and eat like a normal person. I told her that no, I would keep eating the way I like to eat and I was sorry I started my new diet for a wrong reason (to piss her off) but now I mantain this diet because I like it and I feel better following it. She called me inmature and my parents are siding with her, so am I the asshole for not budging to my sister demands to change my diet? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis might be an unpopular opinion but it’s your diet and no one should have control over it except yourself or a doctor (but only for health reasons not personal beliefs). You were petty do start your diet for that reason but she can’t demand you change it especially if you feel healthier now than you did before ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old. \n\n\nThe problems: \n-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours. \n\n-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore. \n\n-he lied to me. A lot. \n\n-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up. \n\n-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for. \n\n-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me. \n\nSo we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis man is not a husband or a father. He is sperm donor who happens to live under the same roof as you.\n\nDrag this man to couple's counseling ASAP. Or don't. You might just want to save yourself the time and file for divorce. ######"}
{"prompt":"In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them. \n\nSkip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself \"fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended\". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half. \n\nSkip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me. \n\nI hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is your private medical business as you are an adult. You're allowed privacy, and since your parents aren't even paying for it, it's really none of their business. Your doctors aren't making crazy or irresponsible decisions here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.\n\nMy mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.\n\nI usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.\n\nI’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.\n\nAmber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.\n\nI can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.\n\nMy mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is your living environment as well, you have every right to be where you're comfortable and able to thrive in an individual basis. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol\n\n\n\nB:The food is great \n\nBB: thanks I even made cake \n\nB: yes I love your cakes \n\nMe: I do too \n\nBB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me \n\nSilence.... \n\nI looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is such a huge violation. You know that. He didn't just share it without your permission, he shared it with someone who was then cruel about it. I am sorry your boyfriend did this to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD.\n\nShe frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't.\n\nLast weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is not an ADD or ADHD issue.  I am not saying your wife doesn't have ADD\/ADHD, it is possible that she does.\n\nHowever, if this is repetitive behavior it means your wife lacks common sense and is generally careless.  Your wife's actions are saying she can't be bothered to be responsible or think ahead.\n\nI am an adult and have ADD, I am very easily distracted.  I feel bad for my friends and family because I can derail a conversation faster than a nascar crash.  My best friend says she enjoys watching me in action, because I have no pattern to follow or interpret.  So, it's always a surprise how things will end up.  And I do genuinely struggle with completing tasks, because I do get distracted and end up exhausted.  It has taken me years (if not decades) to master basic routines that should be easily acquired.  Like laundry or keeping the kitchen clean while preparing a meal.  Reading a book takes me forever, because my mind will wander and it is a struggle to get it back on track.\n\nWith that said.  I am not careless and I do feel like I possess decent common sense.  As in, we simply don't have drinks in our cars that don't have a lid on them.  This applies to children and adults.  And because I don't want to burden myself or anyone else with having to clean up a sticky mess, we usually only allow water in the cars.  And I would never hand over an expensive electronic device to a child, let alone walk off and leave them unattended with one either.  Both are just disasters waiting to happen.  \n\nShould you have yelled at your wife in front of your family?  Probably not.  But if this is a chronic problem for her, and she has yet to make any changes to her behavior, then it was bound to happen at some point.  And it just so happened, this was that moment. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have \"plans tomorrow\" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me. \n\n\nThey are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship. \n\n\nI apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is how adult toddlers act when they dont get their way. Professional  tools are not to be used by people who do noot respect them. \n\nNot letting someone have their way is not disrespectful nor is not letting your parent treat you like you are 5 and eating paste for your pastime. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend was driving to my place and got pulled over by a cop for a traffic violation. She immediately calls me crying and tells me to come down to help with the situation. I try to calm her down and tell her that I'd be down there. By the time I arrive things aren't going well: she's sobbing and yelling at the cop (this was the first time something like this has happened to her). I decide it's best not to get directly involved, especially since the situation seemed pretty heated and tbh I'm not sure what I could do to help at that point. After the interaction is over, I go over to settle her down but she's furious blaming me and saying things like I live in a \"stupid part of town with stupid driving rules\" and that I was a \"coward\" for just watching it all happen. She says she can't trust me and that I wouldn't take a \"bullet\" for her... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is how a normal person gets a ticket: step 1-try politeness\/innocence (“I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was going so fast.”) step 2: resignation “fine, just write the ticket already.” \n\nThey don’t 1) scream at the cop 2) sob and cry at the cop 3) take the time to call their bf while dealing with the cop 4) make this a big production that last so long! 5) expect someone to magically fix issue 6) refuse to rake any responsibility for themselves ######"}
{"prompt":"I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back. \n\nIgnoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair. \n\nBlocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media. \n\nThis is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is hilarious. If it is unsolicited and they want to harass you, I feel this is a great response. ######"}
{"prompt":"It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could. \n\nMy dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her. \n\nI get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis is a hard one, but seriously, what your mom is doing is wrong.\n\nI wouldn't even worry about \"what if she were to find out.\". If you do manage to get some of your father's ashes, so what if she finds out?  It's not like she can ruin her relationship with you and your sister any more than she has already done. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story.\n\nI’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info. \n\nIdk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have.\n\nWell, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise.\n\nEdit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing.\n\nEdit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared.\n\nEdit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come\n\nEdit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested!\n\nEdit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis dude is a giant, man-shaped red flag. You don't live together, you've not been dating long, and you're not saving for anything that involves him. This isn't his business and he knows it. His BS gaslighty response should tell you all you need to know about what life with him will be like. ######"}
{"prompt":"Thanks to the quarantine my boyfriend is now working his consulting job from home full time. I am currently completing my teaching degree which  consisted of me being placed in a classroom with high schoolers for 20hrs\/week and also working a part time job 20hrs\/week. Now, with schools being shut down all of my classes have been moved online. I am still working my “essential” job 20hrs per week out of the house but otherwise I am home with him while he’s working. \n\nOur apartment is only ~650 sq ft. Which means his desk is in the middle of our kitchen\/living room area. He is on conference calls every morning usually ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. \n\nDuring these meetings he says running our kitchen sink or using the maker coffee is too loud and I should be prohibited from doing them...\n\nHe says that if he’s talking during the meeting that the mic picks up the noises and is too distracting. On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying. \n\nHe thinks it is disrespectful of me to make noise during his conference calls when he has asked me several times not to do so. I think it is disrespectful for him to demand I not do normal daily activities in my own home. \n\nAlso, when he is working (in a meeting or not) I never watch tv, listen to music, or talk but I will do things like make food, or coffee, or run the damn sink. His coworkers have commented that he must not have children, because his calls are so quiet.. so I feel like I’m okay to do these things as long as it isn’t excessive. He thinks I shouldn’t do them period. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for making noise while my boyfriend is in conference calls for work? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThis doesn't make any sense, does he work in a noise-proof office at work??  I doubt his coworkers are completely silent all the time.\n\n> On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying.\n\nThen he needs to turn the volume up or get better headphones.  It's unreasonable to expect people to be 100% quiet for hours on end in their own home. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4\/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment. \n\n1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted \n2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system. \n\nBecause I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.\n\nNow I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey've been caught. They are going to have to wear it. They never suggested to you that you not include him and, from the sound of it, you're paying for everything for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June &amp; don’t want to overlap rent &amp; mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey've already skipped on you multiple times, you don't have to be loyal to someone messing you around ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share. \n\nNeither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the \n dishes. She never washed the dishes. \n\nSo I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.)\n\nRecently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food?\n\nAITA for not wanting to buy her food? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey're your roommates, not your children. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it. \n\nIn contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.\n\nwhenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later. \n\nAm I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey're acting kind of bratty towards you, do you think there could be some jealousy? Siblings have a tendency to have one designated sibling to collectively hate on.\n\nMoney solves a ton of problems, and can at least help with almost all of them. However, making good money doesn't make you immune to life's troubles. What happens if you lose a chunk of income, and your husband loses his job?\n\nSorry your siblings are dismissing you for doing good in life. Don't feel bad for earning money. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.\n\nAfter talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on. \n\nMy sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank. \n\nThey both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.\n\nNone of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.\n\nAs for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.\n\nIf they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey'd be imposing greatly, you know it, they know it. Their idea of moving everybody's rooms around, having everybody living on top of each other, and taking away your whole family's sense of privacy isn't a realistic solution. \n\nIt sounds like you do NOT have the space for them, so the RV would be much better. If that doesn't appeal to them, due to pride or laziness, that's their problem. \n\nThey sound like r\/choosingbeggars ######"}
{"prompt":"Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,\n\nAlright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke. \n\nOnce I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well. \n\nWell, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside” \n\nBack when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here” \n\nSo now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out” \n\nEntirely logical in my opinion. \n\nTL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey were wrong to essentially kill your rabbit\n\nThey were wrong to demand you put your pets out of your home ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them. \n\nThe reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match. \n\nOf course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc. \n\nWhen I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding. \n\nSome friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.\n\nEdit: Clarity ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey need to grow the fuck up.\n\nIt’s their behavior that put you in the position of having to exclude them.\n\nThat being said — you’re moving into a new stage of life that requires even more maturity. Don’t feel guilty if they just get left behind overall. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls. \n\nAITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey just want to dump two kids on you for a weekend? Yeah, no. ######"}
{"prompt":"So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing). \nTwo years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.\n\nCut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony. \n\nNow three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey get all upset about it but didn't invite you to things when you were younger? They are hypocrites don't let them get to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.\n\nWhen I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was \"a holiday\". This \"holiday\" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying \"This IS your home\".\n\nThis set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice &amp; easy to painful &amp; hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.\n\nSo my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked \"Why not?\". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life. \n\n(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)\n\nThey were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said \"only for a couple of days.\" If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.\n\nThey didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.\n\nWas I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth? \n\nBtw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey disrupted your education without any kind of planning.\n\nNo wonder your memories are negative. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short. \nI befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally. \nI sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:\n1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.\n2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car. \n3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.\n4. Started talking bad about my relationship\n5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah. \n\nI stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis. \n\nI felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.\nThe next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly. \nI told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.\n\nI felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey didn't take your complaint seriously, if you didn't report it he could've done worst things. What an awful job I'm sorry you had to deal with those pricks. You need to be able to feel comfortable and safe at work not watch your back to see if your co-worker is gonna try to make a move. ######"}
{"prompt":"Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled\/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. \n\nFast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know\/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL\/SIL are not available\/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. \n\nBecause of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. \n\nAITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey can celebrate Zack's birthday whenever they want.  And they can even miss your son's birthday to do so.  They are the assholes for saying you are being difficult and unreasonable for celebrating your son's birthday on the day of. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company). \n\nMy almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them. \n\nI listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it.\n\nThis was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey asked and you answered. You were under no obligation to let them know why, so it’s no fault of your own if they’re upset at the reason why you quit. If they don’t respond, just move on and focus on your new job. Congratulations on your new job! ######"}
{"prompt":"I am one of three siblings. None of us are particularly well off. My parents (early 60s) are reasonably comfortable middle-class. All three siblings have kids. My parents have spent thousands on my two sisters to help them make ends meet for most of their adult lives. I have accepted help from my parents on occasion, but nowhere near the scale of either of my siblings. I've also been left dry when I really needed help, because of them needing it first. Ex, my college fund was spent housing my oldest sis, when I needed help replacing a vehicle that died on me, they couldn't help because they were providing in full for my younger sister. In truth, they've leeched off our parents as much as they could get away with. \n\nBecause of this, my folks have decided to leave me a larger share of their estate when they pass, and are firm that they would prefer I don't use mine to do for my sisters. She hasn't given an exact figure but it's going to be around half, with the other half split between my sisters and some of it set aside for their kids (my kids are included in my end). It depends I guess on the span between one parent and the other passing but it's potentially over 250k. I feel funny about it already, but mom's got me on paper as the executor and has started expressing to me what items she wants to go where. I told her I'd honor her wishes, but she needed to make a will because being executor and getting a larger share is going to cause so much tension between all of us. She didn't seem upset, but has since changed the subject abruptly whenever I bring it up. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThey absolutely need a will.  If they don't have one, then you being executor doesn't mean much, because you'd be legally bound to distribute their estate according to your jurisdiction's intestacy laws (i.e. laws that govern how an estate's assets must be distributed in the absence of a will).\n\nSo if they want you to have half of their estate when they die, and they don't have a will that says that, then you're not allowed to give yourself half as executor.  If you try to take half, your siblings can sue you to force the legally-required division of assets, and they'll win.\n\nYou may want to ask for guidance over at \/r\/legaladvice ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M21) was recently given a set of wireless ear buds, the type that hang over the ear. A coworker that im close with gave them to me as a gift since he didnt like\/use them. These are expensive ones that he was otherwise going to sell online if i didnt want them. \n\n\nThe problem is this. Upon coming home and telling my mother about it and how nice it was for him to gift them to me, she asked, which then became practically begging me to give them to her after i had initially said no. She had gone on to say that she never got to have nice headphones\/listenjling apparatus and how she had gotten me nice things in the past. \n\n\nI didnt really want to give them up, but i also felt guilty about keeping something nice from her. She's someone who's worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and right now we're both working to pay for expenses between the two of us. But I also refrain from buying anything unnecessary because i know we're short on money, while she's usually buying new clothes and shoes now and again. \n\n\nWIBTA for not wanting to give up an expensive gift? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThese are yours. Your mom does not deserve them, no matter how much she guilts you about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.\n\nMy sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine. \n\nToday my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.\n\nAfter dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.\n\nI told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere’s a difference between being considerate and catering to unreasonable demands. Your sister should work on understanding that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.\n\nIt’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.\n\nAnyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere's no benefit to you to pay for your sister's car and then trade it for your brother's car that you don't want.  So, don't do it.  Your brother can go buy his own car.\n\nThe fact that you even have to ask this question makes me think your brother is probably a bully.  You don't ever have to do anything he wants. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain\n\nOkay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income\/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.\n\nI have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.\n\nSo for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.\n\nI am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??\n\nSo reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?\n\nEdit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere's absolutely no good reason for him to have done this. I would he furious, especially at my bulbs being torn up. \n\nI'd not only complain, but expect compensation for new plants and or the vegetables I would have gotten from them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother. \n\nOf course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard. \n\n A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”.\n\nI went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere is never an excuse to leave a kid in a potentially dangerous home. Ever. Even if it’s “none of their business”. \n\nAgain like you said, she may not be a danger to her kids, and I would say that she shouldn’t have them taken away right now. Especially because it seems like she might be getting some help. \n\nBut the father NEEDS to know. If it were her family that didn’t want to tell him, I’d understand more, but it’s HIS family? Oh my lord. You’re definitely not in the wrong here from what I can tell. \n\nHonestly, if I was in your shoes, I’d try to find a way to tell him, and just not tell anyone that you’re the one who told him. And Id make it be explicitly clear to him that his family all know and don’t want him to know. Because that’s just ridiculous. But obviously that’s just me lol. \n\nHis kids need to be taken care of properly, and even if the mother is getting help\/starts getting help, it’s important that he knows and understands what is going on. If only so that he can help her manage the kids at times when she can’t take them. But also so he can be on the lookout for warning signs.\n\nEdit: I somehow missed the part where you said you told your husband that you would tell him if he didn’t. Good for you! Thank you for caring about those children. I hope it all works out for you all and not too many bridges are burned. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I are both 26. We’ve been together for nearly 3 years and we have a 2 year old son together. He had a 6 year old son from a prior relationship. When we first got together I made it very clear that my immediate role is not to assume the position of being a step mom. He’d often push this on me and have his son call me step mom...this happened for a few months and then I nipped it in the bud. I made it clear that I will continue to be a role model in his life, also it’s not like his actual mom isn’t in the picture. \n\nMy boyfriend has always talked about how much he misses his son and I would tell him to start working like you love him. Make efforts to get some type of rights because the mother only “allows” phone calls\/ video chats which are often limited. When it has come time to buy him things that he needs, I have been there to provide birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, and basic necessities and would say it’s from me AND him. And I did this before having our own child together. Now fast forward to yesterday, he finally calls a lawyer and asked me to drop half this Friday to get started. I’m all for support, but AITA for feeling some type of way? He told me during the dating stage that his relationship with his son and the mother were great...but once we made it official it was another story (He also cheated on me with her, still no clarity on what actually happened, but something did). Like I get the fact that he wants his child, but why must I pay?? Is this the norm for couples who have had children prior?\n\nInstead of buying all this beer and that XBOX, he could have paid it in full on his own. He said he’d pay me back, but I still had to tell him how I felt. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere are some serious 🚩🚩🚩 here.\n\nNo, it is not your duty to pay half of the legal fees here. He doesn't sound like the most responsible person, and he has not been the best partner to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened about a month ago, but I’m still wondering if I was in the wrong here. Throwaway.\n\nSo I (22M) was bullied a lot growing up, all the way through high school, both verbally and physically. Some of the most common things I was called were things like “fag”, “faggot”, “homo”, “queer”, and I was often times beaten up in conjunction with that. When I finally got into my teen years and started to question myself, thought I might be bi,  a lot of the trauma caused internalized homophobia and made it really hard on me but in the last year or so I’ve really come to terms and started to accept who I am.\n\nSo I was using Tinder the other night, just swiping through a lot of people without paying attention. One of the people I matched with messaged me. Seeing his name and photo again I did a double take and then realized it was one the kids who used to bully me and use a lot of those same slurs, and was surprised to know he was actually gay. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yeah and I told him about what he did in the past and asked if he remembers that as well. He said it really doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago and that I should just forget about it. I told him to go fuck himself, and that I hope he never fully accepts himself like I eventually did.\n\nI told my brother about it, and he said it was a long time ago and that while he understands my anger people do change. I get that, but did he really though? He didn’t apologize, and just pretends like it never happened. AITA for what I said? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThere are plenty of self hating people, even more so in the gay community when they're young.\n\nThey lash out as a result.\n\nThe sheer fact that he remember what he did, is gay now, and had no interest in apologizing means he is just a shit person. He doesn't feel remotely bad about the harmful hippocrite he was\/is. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have this friend that is on the more overweight side of the scale. I do not hold it against her and she can be super fun to be around, but recently she has just been talking about her weight and made the people around her feel uncomfortable about their weight. Some examples are: \n\nWe would be going shopping (pre covid-19) and I would try on a cute outfit and ask her for her opinion and she would say something like \"Do you have to try it out in front of me you know how I feel about my body and you are super skinny (which btw is a lie I am a size 3-4)\" \n\nWe would go out and me and the others would grab burgers with fries and she would complain about how it is unfair that we eat that type of food in front of her when we know she is on a \"diet\" (she had been \"dieting\" since she was kid).\n\nAnother time she got mad that I wanted to lose weight after we just had a holiday and I had gained a few pound. SHe told me that what I was doing was bad for me and that it is disrespectful to lose weight, when she couldn't. Which btw is not true, she claims her body is not capable to lose weight, which I call bs because i have seen her lose weight before she is just too lazy to actually commit to a proper diet and exercise.\n\nNow to the actual part about what happened that made me lose my sh\\*t. Since there is the whole Covid-19 situation and my friend lives with me and we are stuck together. I don't mind it too much since she is still ok, but she got mad at me for exercising in my home in front of her. I was also watching tv and eating chips and she felt offended. She kept on whining and whining about her body and her being overweight and how she is insecure. I then just snapped and told her to lose weight and commit to a diet or shut up\" \n\nAITA for saying that or should I just have ignored it. SHe is in her room right now and hasn't talked to me in a few days. My friends have mixed feelings about what happened some say I was in the right, others disagree. Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe world doesn't revolve around her. Your group deciding what they want to eat has nothing to do with her. You trying on clothes for yourself has nothing to do with her. Exercising IN YOUR HOME in a SHARED SPACE also has nothing to do with her.\n\nShe should stop being a narcissist and realise that she isn't the only person in the whole world. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 33 and I work in a pretty famous university. I'm considered pretty senior and I often interact with the admissions office.\n\nAll my siblings have gone to this school. And we've all gotten in with our grades and activities.\n\nMy parents had a pretty bad divorce and my siblings and I have subconsciously sided with my mother all these years.\n\nMy dad's son with his new wife is now 18 and applying to university.\n\nMy dad messaged me earlier in the year and asked if I could put in a good word for my half brother with the admissions office.\n\nI'm not really close with my half brother and stepmom so I said I don't think I can do much. But I guess my dad thought I said I'd at least try.\n\nI was actually contacted by a colleague about my half brother's application and apparently he was just shy of a percent for a grade cut-off. He asked me if I thought my half brother would be a good fit.\n\nI responded back saying that I don't believe in nepotism and that he should be evaluated like any other student. And that I'm not close enough to him to give a proper reference.\n\nI'm not sure if my colleague read into my tone but my half brother has since been rejected. I've had a few angry calls from my dad. \n\nAITA for not helping my half brother out? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe school had a requirement and he failed to meet said requirement. He doesn't deserve to get in because he happens to be somewhat related to someone with some influence. If he really wants to go to that school he can take summer classes or extracurriculars or whatever makes him actually qualified to get in. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with \"fuck off\"\n\nAnyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John. \n\nOn the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.\n\nThey stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.\n\nI don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like \"I'm out guys, anyone coming with?\" \n\nBut it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.\n\nAITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe only two people who seem to be annoyed with you are the two assholes who stayed on the call with John, even though he was making you uncomfortable enough that you had to leave the call. So fuck them, they have crappy judgement anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":" My husband and I are childfree. We don’t want kids, have never wanted kids. I actually got my tubes tied 2 years ago. We’ve been married for the past 10 years, together a total of 12 years.\n\nBefore me, my husband had one serious relationship. I knew of her because they had broken up about 2 months before we got together. Never met her, but knew her name and heard of her, etc. About 6 months ago, she added my husband on FB and said they had a kid together. My husband had no idea and I do believe him because while he is childfree, he’s not the type to just skip out on responsibilities. He also told me right away. He asked for a DNA test and it was confirmed that yes, his ex’s daughter is biologically his. His ex said that she didn’t want anything from us, but the young girl wanted to know him.\n\nThe thing is, my husband doesn’t want to know her. He’s not the dad type. I think his ex knew and that’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s offered to pay child support going forward which I support, we can afford it. But I’m not going to force him to get to know his daughter. If he chose to, I’d support it but he doesn’t.\n\nI guess in the meantime my ILs have gotten to know the girl, which I think is fine. My husband is okay with it too. However, they think he’s wrong for not seeing her and that I’m “enabling him”. To me, it’s his choice and it’s the right one. I talked to a friend. She and her husband are also childfree. She says that if she were in my shoes, she’d tell him to at least meet her. AITA for not encouraging a relationship with these two? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe only AH is the ex for keeping the child a secret from the father for 12 years. ######"}
{"prompt":"first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize. \n\na little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that. \n\nso back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left. \n\nfew days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.\n\nfyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already. \n\nso i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe love of your life died, and you mom's friend is trying to set you up with other women? No. That's not right. She was your one. No one can replace her, so no one should try. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, this is my first post here.\n\nI'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.\n\nThey were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too. \n\nLong story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.\n\nNow my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.\n\nAnyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.\n\nAITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe LEGO blocks are yours and you were right to reclaim them.\n\n8t sounds like your Mom had plans to sell them for the money. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. \n\nWhile I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.\n\nI've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about \"bastards wanting a payday\" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nThe law was on your side.\nYou got what is rightfully yours. \n\nThe world needs more deadbeats being held accountable for their actions. So good for you! \n\nI would be extra petty and call his wife out for slander\/defamation. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother\/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces\/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a\nAITA for not defending my wife? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe hosts can invite whoever they like to their events. Its understandable your wife would want to include her mother seeing as she seems to be the only family in town on her side, but hosts set the rules. \n\nYou two could always host and invite family from both your sides, or do separate events for each side of the family. There are compromises to be found here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down. \n\nIn my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault. \n\nI gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThe \"I have a boyfriend\"-line is the worst thing you can say to guys who don't get the hint. In their mind you are basically telling them \"I would totally date you, if I wasn't taken\" or \"If you are better than my BF, you might have a chance\".\n\nSo no, you did nothing wrong! ######"}
{"prompt":" Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.\n\nI woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.\n\nI went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.\n\nAm I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat’s hard. And I only say he’s an ass because he’s dismissing your worries and didn’t let you know when he realized you’d wake up without him. It’s hard to wake up like that and not know- I’ve been there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway maybe future account \n\nI am a 15 year old girl who has a mom. A few years ago my dad cheated and guess what we are divorced. Anyway my mom does not like me for having a relationship with my dad and expect me to hate him for cheating. Anyway a few weeks ago my mother adopted my sister who has the same exact name to me and gave her last name. So have the same exact names woo hoo.\n\nAnyway today my mom was talking to her friend who is right next to her my mom got a brand new apartment so my friend mom asked for my sister but I thought she was asking about ME so I went in. She looked really confused. I then told her that my mom replaced me with a shiny new \"toy\" and that she pretends I don't exist. I am just stuck here because of a custody agreement. \n\nMy mom came out and so me and was immidietly  embarrassed.  Her friend asked about me and she called me a failure. At this point her friend stopped and told her that she was not fit to parent and that she does not want to be a friend with her. Anyway she left. At home my mom yelled at me for making her loose a friend and that she hates me now. I think I might have ruined my moms only friend ship  which might make me the bad girl ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat’s abuse...I would tell your dad and maybe live with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run\/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.\n\nThis woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.\n\nSo, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, \"Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?\" To which I replied, \"Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high.\" She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm. \n\nI came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat's hysterical. At least her husband thought so! \n\nNo, it wasn't the most demure response, but the woman thought she could shame you, but instead you embarrassed her! She'll think twice before talking crap like that again to a perfect stranger. ######"}
{"prompt":"I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything. \n\nNow it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad. \n\nWell tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know? \n\nBoy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat was your food!! And he took it, made himself food, made the whole place smell like eggs and bacon and hash browns (what are grits?) and now just reading this I want a plate too. And he left a mess. How inconsiderate!\n\nEdit: I will definitely try grits in a variety of ways next time I'm in the southern US! ######"}
{"prompt":"So with everything going on myself, my girlfriend and many others who have been laid off have been getting $2000 CAD every month. I’ve been saving mine but I recently found out my girlfriend has been giving this money to her parents. \n\nWe’re both students, and her parents (so far) have been paying her tuition for her. However she took the last semester off to do something else. During this time her parents took out a student loan in my gfs name, I thought this was strange since they were supposed to be the ones paying, why would they not just take out the loan in their own names..? Surely the rates would be better? But my gf seemed fine with it. \n\nTurns out that none of that money has gone towards school though. Her parents had a previous loan used pay for house renovations, and they’ve been using my gfs student loan to pay that previous loan off. All the while my girlfriend has been using her $2000 unemployment money to pay off the student loan in her name, based on the idea that her mom will “pay her back later”. \n\nSo after everything, my girlfriend has essentially been handed over her parents debt, kept almost none of her unemployment money, and the student loan in her name never actually went towards school. \n\nI told her her parents are either manipulating her or really really bad with money. She called me an asshole for being so distrusting of her parents. Does this not raise red flags for anyone else? Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat sounds like fraud, taking out a student loan in someone else's name, and using it for other purposes. Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds extremely dodgy and like your girlfriend is going to be stuck paying off a major loan with interest and getting no benefit from it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.\n\nShe always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.\n\nI tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I \"have to do it\", because it's \"part of a routine\". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.\n\nAm I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat said, twelve year olds are insane and you'll want to think a lot about how you approach her to avoid her going crazy again and making a hassle ######"}
{"prompt":"Since it's usually just the two of us, my daughter and I are really comfortable at home when iy comes to what we wear or rather what we don't wear. All this was fine because, again, it was just the two of us. When my boyfriend comes around to spend the night or the weekend, we'd dress more 'appropriately' for the duration of his stay and then go back to our normal when he's gone.\n\nWith everything that's been happening, I wanted my boyfriend to stay with us because we don't know when it will end. Before inviting him over, I asked my daughter how she felt about that and clarified that this would be indefinite. She said she was cool with it and I invited him. The first week went well and she wore other comfort clothes. Then things completely changed within a day.\n\nThe first incident, my boyfriend and I were in the kitchen making breakfast and she came in wearing just underwear and a towel on her head (just came out of the shower). Breasts completely bare and she didn't even care to try cover them up. Instead she just walked in, greeted us casually, grabbed herself a glass of water then left. My boyfriend didn't say a word and I could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with this so I tried talking to my daughter about but her response was that she wasn't naked.\n\nNow she's been wearing short shorts around the house with just a bra (sometimes) etc. My boyfriend says it doesn't matter anymore because he's used to it now but I don't want him to be used to seeing my daughter like that. It's inappropriate. So I confronted her about this and told her to dress better in his presence but she bit me off about how I should be happy she's that comfortable around him and with her body. We're now constantly arguing over this and I'm wondering if I'm TA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat kitchen scene is really weird, why would she walk out in front of your boyfriend with her baps out? \n\nShe should feel comfortable in her home, however she is pushing it too far. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a guy. Me and my sister still live with our parents. My sister has a girlfriend. I woke at a store that sells a lot of clothes. I get really nice discounts on stuff I buy there. My sister's girlfriend asked me if I could buy a bra for her from there, and then she'd pay me back. Its a specific and fairly expensive kind of bra. She'd save money this way. I said sure and did it. Didn't think much of it.\n\n\nAfter I mentioned buying it to my sister, she got very angry at me. Saying its super innapropriate and pervy. She even asked me if I was attracted to her girlfriend (I'm not). She even told me that if her gf ever wore it during sexy time it'd kill the mood since she'd think about me. Our mom is on my sister's side. My girlfriend and all my female friends said I did nothing wrong and my sister is overreacting. I really didn't have bad intentions. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nThat girl asked if you could buy something for her in the store you are working in so she could have a nice discount. You did. If your sister has a problem with that, then she should discuss it with her girlfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: Since I was born I have had a skin condition which causes my skin to dry easily and even crack open in cold times of year. I also have never been very lovey dovey which my parents blame on me not being allowed to have skin to skin contact with them for the first to weeks of my life due to having little to no liver. I stopped hugging people at 3 and would scream and cry if people new to the family or other young kids would attempt to hug me. \n\n\nAs everyone knows almost everywhere is under lockdown currently, which means my dad who travels for work is home and my mum who travels for fun is also home. I am an extrovert but I still prefer to always be a distance away from people so they don’t accidentally or purposely have physical contact with me. Recently my parents have decided since I am unable to go to therapy to help with my distance issues due to covid(insurance would pay for face to face but not online as they no longer consider it occasional) they would help “fix” it themselves. They have been purposely making me sit in the middle of the couch and cuddle them even though it makes me very uncomfortable and if I am tired enough I panic rather than sit in the lounge chair sofa thing they have for me in the living room. Last night I went to tell my mum goodnight and before I left she pulled me down and forced a hug on me which immediately sent me off, and I told her to not hug me EVER as she knows by now I hate it. She got mad and complained to my dad he went off on me for being upset by such a small thing and that I needed to get over this “don’t touch” me BS, as now that I’m in my teens I should have grown out of it as I am no longer a little kid and the phase should have ended.\n\nAITA for being upset and uncomfortable with this as my entire family except 2 of my siblings are on my parents side with me needing to just accept the hugs and kisses I normally refuse. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTell your parents that their armchair psychology is making everything worse. They are not experts in treating and even though they try to help they are causing a lot more harm than good. Nobody needs to accept hugs and kisses. It's called not giving consent and your parents must respect that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister (24) just gave birth to my niece barely two weeks ago, she also has a son, my nephew. After my nephew was born both me and my brother was forced to watch him, if we didn't we would be yelled at or we would be called selfish. Anyway, today she went for a drive with my nephew, didn't bother to take her daughter because she was about to sleep. Now, I know taking care of a six-year-old and a newborn is not easy, but she should have been prepared before she even thought about getting pregnant again (she wanted another baby). I don't think she should just expect us to keep an eye on her or something. Should I tell her this or should I just leave and hope she doesn't do it again? I don't want to get on her bad side, but I don't want to become a personal nanny again at the age of 17 but I also don't want to be selfish. I don't know what to do anymore. She is very emotional and takes things far too personal. So am I the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTalk to her about it, if she keeps being an asshole talk to your parents, if you dont have any other options start saving money and move out, those kids are not your responsability, if she keeps leaving them  without warning you should talk to someone to start giving her warning ######"}
{"prompt":"Don't be scared by the title, I'll explain. (I'm a bit new to reddit, sorry if I don't do everything like I should !) So, a few hours ago, my mother took a picture of me. Seems harmless right ? I was dressed, in a normal position, nothing wrong with the picture itself I guess. But here's the twisted part : She took it without asking, to send it to her cousin (A nice woman, but I still don't want her to receive a random photo of me). I asked her to delete it, I dislike having pictures taken of me in general. She didn't delete it, and started getting mad because I was angry at her and talking a bit roughly. My father supported her. It didn't seem weird to them to do something like that. It's actually not the first time she does something like that. Did I overreact? AITA for getting mad at them ? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTaking pictures of someone without their consent shows lack of respect and is a breach of privacy. Does not matter if they are for \"memories\", nobody should take pictures of you against your will. ######"}
{"prompt":"Greetings everyone, I would like to begin by advising that this is my first post here so... bear with me please. With that being said, if I break any rules here please let me know, thank you :)\n\nWith *that* out of the way, here we go!\n\nI’ll keep it brief, my name is Jay, and I have a girlfriend who lives an hour away, we haven’t seen each other in a month so online contact is crucial.l, which that being said, I am a person who enjoys getting healthy hours of sleep, meanwhile, my girlfriend goes to sleep at 5:00AM and wakes up like at 3:00PM. And that is the only damn time she makes for me, at midnight and up. Which frustrates me because she makes almost no time for me and time for me. She proceeds to guilt me into not making time for her at night. I’d 100% prefer to sleep and wake up happy to have productive day then listen to my girlfriend ramble about her basic friends and scroll endlessly through Instagram. She doesn’t even care about how I am emotionally\/physically\/spiritually when we talk etc. AITA?!?\n\nNor does she appreciate me risking my sleeping hours to listen to her.\n\nOur situations:\n-She is rich and the only child in the house\n-I am struggling due to a legal situation from my dad and have 4 siblings who live with me\n\nNote: yes I’ve discussed this with her and told her every single detail mentioned here, she proceeds to tell me I’m boring or “boomer” (haha funnies), or simply doesn’t care.\n\nBy the way... thanks for reading this at least, it means a lot :) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTaking care of yourself, even in a relationship, has to be your first priority. If you haven’t had enough sleep (especially on a regular basis) then there’s no way you will be rested enough to be a good partner to her and a good person to yourself\n\nIf the only time she makes for you is 00.00 - 05.00 then that’s an issue, since that is widely regarded as sleepy time by the average person. It’s unreasonable for her to guilt you into being free then.\n\nETA: If she says she doesn’t care when you need sleep, that’s a red flag. I felt that was important to mention. In no scenario should she be more important then your basic wellbeing and she shouldn’t be pressuring you to treat her as such. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I'm sixteen and my brother is eight and autistic.\n\nMy brother is developing an infection on his leg that's getting worse every day. Just three months ago, I had to do a major surgery on both legs for this exact infection - MRSA - and almost had to amputate. I can tell that my brother is developing the same thing, but my parents are refusing to take him to the hospital and insist on using various creams on the spot that aren't prescribed and don't seem to be helping.\n\nI've asked both my parents to please take him to the hospital, because I struggled so much with my own surgery and Im hoping if we take him now, we won't have to operate on his legs. However, my mom is insistent that it's no big deal (she insisted this last time when it happened to me too, which is why my legs got so bad before I was taken to emergency). My dad just complains about how my mom would yell if he took him to the hospital and we've argued about this but he won't budge.\n\nI want to take my brother to the hospital, maybe early in the morning before my parents wake up. I can cover the Healthcare costs with the money I've earned tutoring and all the money I've saved all my life from birthdays and holidays. Granted, I can't sign consent forms for him as I'm not an adult yet, but that's only if he needs surgery and I don't think he does yet, though he will if it goes untreated for a week. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nTake him to the hospital and tell them repeatedly that your parents are refusing to get him medical care. ######"}
{"prompt":"This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light.\n\nI (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular)\n\nI didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled \"Hey chocolate boy!\" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black).\n\nThey didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment.\n\nI smiled and casually replied back \"You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?\" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away.\n\nMy friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was \"unwarranted and inappropriate\".\n\nIn my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSure, unprompted, that would have been pretty lewd and inappropriate. But it was in response to a racist remark being flung at you. What do they say; play shitty games, win shitty prizes?\n\nYou keep being awesome ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26F) currently live in a 4bed flat, I have one son who’s 2, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 17 months and we decided we were ready to move in together.\n\nMy boyfriend (37)  has two children, 13 and 10.\n\nCurrently my rooms are; sons room, my room and study where I work and my sons toys stay otherwise it’s a lot of clutter which I hate.\n\nThe spare room has a built in wardrobe,  could fit two single beds and a vanity, we could even put a tv up on the wall.\n\nI told my boyfriend the plans for the room, asked if he agreed and he did agree, we’ve got the whole room set up and showed it to the girls, saying it’s probably only temporary anyway as we are thinking of having another child and I want a garden.\n\nThe eldest (13) started yelling  about how she deserves her own space and how it’s a joke to expect her to share a room with her younger sister for two weeks of the month.\n\nMy boyfriend has been told by his ex that we can’t just cram them into a spare room, I don’t believe we’re doing that and now the eldest is refusing to visit.\n\nI work from home so I really do need the study, my boyfriend wants me to work in our bedroom.\n\nI’ve refused, I shared a room growing up and I’m fine plus it’s only temporary.\n\nSo now my boyfriends upset with me, his ex is upset with me and so is his daughter.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSure, everyone having a room to themselves is nicer than sharing, especially in your teenage years. But as you've said, it's only temporarily. You need your work space and with younger kids in the house, working in the living room is not really an option. Do I even have to comment on working in the bedroom? There are tons of articles recommending you separate your resting and your working space for psychological reasons.\n\nDon't cave in. It's your house. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f,21) have been buying icecream from our local icecream shop since the corona crisis forced it shut. They now deliver. I love their icecream and I want to support local buisinesses now as much as possible, which is why I buy from them as opposed to the supermarket. \n\nTheir icecream is however really expensive. I can get one 150 ml cup for the same price as I could get a liter bin of icecream in the supermarket. Even Ben en Jerry’s is about half as expensive as this icecream. I pay about $30 for 1500 ml (But it has super intense and very experimental flavours, great quality).\n\nNow that I ordered their icecream (I order 10 small cups once per two weeks) my mom has been asking me for a cup, which is fine by me. A second one, also fine. But yesterday she asked for her fourth cup and I said no. She has been acting like i refused her love or something, but i simply don’t want to give away all my (expensive) icecream. I look forward to it, and even though I don’t mind sharing some of it, I do want most. \n\nI also ask her everytime I order if she wants some for her and my dad too. She always says no. (And then asks for mine).\n\nI feel really bad now because she makes a big deal out of it, and it’s just icecream. But then again, I asked her if she wanted any and she said no. I feel entitled to my icecream. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nStock some basic ice cream cups from the supermarket and give those to her when she asks. Super premium ice cream is your bliss, but if she doesn't want to buy it herself, she can eat the basic brand. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt. \n\nSo anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent.\n\nAt this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell. \n\nWas he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSteve sounds predatory in his actions towards women. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents announced that after everything has calmed down, they want to move to another town about four hours away from here. I don't want to go with them for a few reasons:\n\n1. I'll be a junior in high school next year, and I don't want to start over at a new school and leave my friends behind, just to change everything again when I go to college two years later.\n2. The town is in the middle of nowhere and doesn't sound like a place I'd like.\n3. I don't want to leave my grandparents, who raised me.\n\nMy grandparents said I don't have to go if I don't want to, and that I can stay with them. Technically my parents could make me move with them, but they really can't because my grandparents are giving them money for the move and bills. My grandparents said they would not give my parents anything if they forced me to move with them, so my parents would be stuck here anyway.\n\nMy parents tried to convince me that the new town would be great, and told me that I should tell my grandparents that I wanted to move away, so that we could get the money. I feel bad because my parents aren't all bad and I love them, but I'd rather stay where I am. Would I be the asshole if I made my parents go without me? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSounds like you're being reasonable about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to her work schedule, my daughter's mom can only see her 4 hours a day through the week and on weekends. The past week alone, there were 4 times she was too busy\/didn't have time to pick her up, reasons given were that stayed up all night drinking with her brother last weekend and slept til 5 the next day, had to spend the next day doing the errands she was supposed to do instead of sleeping, laundy, and a date.\n\nI told her I didn't want to her it anymore, since she easily could have prioritized seeing our daughter, and she starts calling me an asshole and saying I don't understand what it's like to be a single mom, or how busy she is. (I'm also a single parent, for the record)\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSounds like you have primary custody. If she wanted to see her daughter, she would. Instead, she drinks to excess and stays up late ensuring she won’t be able to see her. \n\nYou don’t get to complain when you’re the only thing standing in your way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I attend a university where community building &amp; bonding is extremely important. Everyone is family in a sense and we just love to have fun and help each other out. We have a ton of orgs on campus, and each org has a GroupMe account, so does most classes as students use them to share answers, asks questions and just talk. These GroupMe’s are also used to wish each other good luck, happy holidays and to campaign for on campus elections. For example, when I pledged my sorority I had several people in my GM chats congratulate me even though we’re not necessarily friends. It’s also not normal for people to wish each other a happy holiday. (Happy founders day, happy thanksgiving, happy St. Patty’s day and so forth) \n\nWell, this past Easter we had an issue where a Muslim student was really upset that people in her GroupMe chats had been wishing each other a happy Easter. She said it was extremely disrespectful to her and her religion and that she would leave each and every chat she was in because of it. Then she went on Instagram to further say that anyone who wished a happy Easter in a chat that she was in was disrespectful and should’ve known better. I was confused because while I am Christian I come from a dominantly Islamic family and I had never heard from any of them even the elders that something like this was an issue. She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays so we shouldn’t be wishing each other a happy Easter as it was a slap in the face for her. I really just don’t see it that way though. I know that no one would blink an eye if she was to say happy Ramadan or some other Muslim holiday. I wasn’t upset, just more annoyed with the social media and GroupMe tirade she went on. \n\nAITA for not seeing an issue with wishing people a happy Easter on GroupMe? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSounds like someone who just wants to be outraged. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys\/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.\n\nHowever three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors\/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants. \n\nLater that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and \"masculinity\". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear \"identity\" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy? \n\nTL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSounds like someone else is insecure about his own masculinity... ######"}
{"prompt":"I (33\/f) was recently dating a guy (29\/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33\/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28\/f) was there quite often.  She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA).  We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot.\n\nWell, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday).  I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up.\n\nRegardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K.  We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life. \n\nI'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us.\n\nI do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSounds like a healthy friendship so long as you maintain distance from her bf and your ex, at least for now! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened two years ago when my daughter was just 9 months old. \n\nI'm Australian but I live in the UK. I went back to Australia to visit my family and introduce my daughter to some elderly relatives who couldn't make the trip anymore. Obviously I knew that flying with a 9 month old would not be easy so I prepped as well as I could. I packed her favourite teddy, brought books and and some toys. \n\nOn the plane I sat next to an older couple. They gave me the stink eye as soon as I sat down. During take off my baby cried. They sighed. A bit later she cried again. The woman next to me asked me to shush my baby. I told her I was doing my best. At some point I needed to pee so I asked a flight attendant if she could hold my baby (she told me I could do that when I was boarding). The guy sitting next to me told me I shouldn't be flying if I can't take care of my baby by myself. \nIt went on and on with their complaints. Then the woman told me that the decent thing to do would have been to bring earplugs for the other passengers and that next time maybe I shouldn't fly with a baby since it's disrupting everyone's experience. At this point I was fed up. I told her that they should have brought their own earplugs since I am not the first woman to fly with a baby so it could have been anticipated. And that my baby was a child therefore couldn't control herself whereas they were grow adults who should know how to behave themselves. \n\nThe guy behind us must have heard because he leaned forward and told me that it is generally considered rude or disrespectful to fly with a baby. I told him flying is a form of public transportation and if he wants to control his surroundings he should have chosen a private jet.\n\nI was quite upset at the time probably because I knew I was the hated one on the plane. I still think about it sometimes and I decided to settle it now.\n\nAITA for bringing a baby on a plane?\n\nEdit typo ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSometimes people with babies need to fly. Sometimes babies cry. Such is life. \n\nAs long as the parent is doing their best to keep their baby quiet I take no issue with them. If you had ignored your kid completely and popped on your own noise cancelling earphones *then* you'd be an AH. But you were trying to keep her quiet. And these people gave you the stink eye from the off, even when she was quiet. They were never going to be happy, and a couple of pairs of earplugs would not have changed it.\n\n> The guy behind us must have heard because he leaned forward and told me that it is generally considered rude or disrespectful to fly with a baby.\n\nI've been on flights that have actual cots for babies. So that is bullshit. The airlines actually support you doing it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.\n\nMy husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled. \n\nWell the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident\/illness at the dinner table? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSomeone is insecure (it’s the other husband) and is projecting his insecurities on you.\n\nYes it’s generally rude to carry on full conversations in another language in front of non-speakers... but in this circumstance it was truly appropriate and not rude in the least. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's this candle company that makes candles based on different locations and the majority of them are jokes. The one for Ohio is unscented and says something to the effect of the state being boring and uninteresting. I decided to share it with my family, especially my sister, S, because she lives there. When S saw it she immediately went into a long paragraph about how Ohio was a great state and how the meme was offensive to her and her girlfriend's family. I tried to laugh it off and say it was just a joke and that she shouldn't take it so personally, but then she quotes Until Dawn at me: \"It was just a prank, Han.\" Like seriously? Over a candle? I told her to stop being so melodramatic and get over herself. She comes at me with how she found it offensive and I should apologize. I didn't even make the candle and people make fun of other states all the time. I don't think I should have to apologize for this, but idk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSomeone has a 'total sense of humor failure' ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without  my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants.  Then she starts  yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSome parents just don't understand transfer of property! If she bought something for you, that makes it yours! Even if she bought it! ######"}
{"prompt":"So my parents love movies like fast and furious and movies with lots of action and guns. (Die hard ect..)\nThey do occasionally pick a different movie but that’s incredibly rare and so it’s normally a die hard clone or a movie with some super buff guy shooting a gun.\n\nI’m not a huge fan of those types of movies and would rather watch something animated like a studio ghibli film (I’m going through the Netflix library atm) or something with a complex story or that is kinda strange.\n\nFor the past week they have been telling me to broaden my horizons and watch a movie with them and I’ve been saying no as I absolutely despise all the gun\/car heavy movies they pick. \nI hate the genre as a whole and so have just been watching things in my room.\n(This is a issue as my parents have a no food in room rule and so when I get hungry I have to stay out in the lounge)\nRecently we got in a fight about it as my parents are getting annoyed we are not hanging out as a family so I suggested I pick the movie, so I decided to put on a ghibli film.\nDad automatically said no and asked me to change it and Mum agreed.\n\nI then got kinda annoyed and in the heat of the moment called them hypocrites for telling me I need to broaden my horizons while not letting me pick a movie. And I told them I was sick of gun heavy movies. \n\nMy parents and me are now kinda on edge and I’m wondering if I actually fucked up and should apologise.\n\n(I’m 17) (female) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSo they told you to make a choice, and then told you that you couldn't make *that* choice? They're T A. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I broke up 6 months ago because he cheated. I asked him to reconsider but he said nothing could change his mind and he doesn't want to see me ever again. I respected that and didn't b try to contact him after.\n\nA few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. At first I was still hurt by his words and actions and I didn't want him to think that I'm using the baby as a way to get him back so I decided to wait for the first trimester to be over before telling him.  But when I tried contacting him I realised I had been blocked everywhere. I didn't know his new address but from my mum I found out where he worked now. So last week I decided to drop in because I'll be moving away before the baby arrives and he should probably know he'll have a son soon.\n\nSo I showed up and told him and he was less than thrilled. He said I should have told him earlier when something could have been done about it still and he wasn't happy I showed up at his work. ( I didn't go in, I waited at his car).\n\nHe is very displeased with the whole situation. I'm not sure if I'm TA because he did tell me to never contact him again and when I tried it didn't work. And running after him just wasn't my first priority especially because I knew I'd keep the baby no matter what. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSo he cheated on you, blocked you, and is upset you didn't tell him you're pregnant with his child?\n\nI have a feeling he's the asshole, not you. Hopefully you find a partner who will love that child as their own. Stay strong. This is a terrible situation regardless of who the asshole is ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.\n\nHowever, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.\n\nSo, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSmart thinking actually ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: I passed my driving test in April last year and ever since then have been parking my car in the allocated parking space outside the house. (The house does not have a driveway).\n\nUp until the last month or so, I have had no problems with parking my car here. Since the lockdown my neighbours parents have been visiting virtually everyday, this is not my problem. My problem is that they insist on parking in my space if I’m not home when they arrive. My neighbours have a car, meaning their parents cannot park in their space... there is, however, visitors parking opposite our houses.\n\nSo the way I may have been TA is because I got home around 9pm after a long hard day and couldn’t park my car because, you guessed it, the neighbours parents were in my space. Not knowing what else to do, and being fed up because this is happening virtually every day now, I parked directly behind their car blocking their exit, but other neighbours could still get out. I feel the need to note that had they come and ask, I had every intention of moving my car, I just wanted to show them how annoying it is seeing as asking them politely clearly hasn’t worked. Anyways, fastforward a few hours and I was exhausted (the neighbours parents still hadn’t left but I wanted to go to bed) so I moved my car on to the visitors parking and as I was walking back to the house I heard a voice say “finally, I can go home now she’s moved the car”.\n\nSo, AITA for wanting them to knock on my door and ask me to move my car to show them it’s annoying not being able to park\/ pull away easily?\n\nEdit: can I please just point out that 1) they are designated spaces in each houses tenancy agreements and 2) the tenancy agreement also states that our visitors must park in the visitors parking spaces. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSince it's your space per the lease, call and have them towed next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am currently 21 and going to graduate college soon after the summer semester. I'm currently getting towards the end of the spring semester. My mom passed away 5 days ago at 46 yrs old, so I notified all my professors and they all gave me extensions and were very understanding and compassionate, including the professor in question.\n\nThis is what the professor told me. I'll call her Prof. She said that as long as I can turn everything in by the last day of school, there will be no point deduction.\n\nRecently we had a take home test due (since school is now totally online). Part 1 was multiple choice, part 2 was free response (short answers, sketches of depositional environments etc). I have not completed it yet and it was due yesterday. One day ago. In the online class video chat today, everyone had questions about flaws in the exam, what they got wrong etc. They wanted her to release the answers. Usually if a student hasn't taken the exam, the teacher waits until they take it, then they can release the answers. Prof said: ok I can release the answers right now and go over them. The person that didn't take the test will get an alternate assignment. She then talked about the answers to part 1.\n\nShe didn't discuss answers to part 2. However I got an email saying, in summary:\n\nParts 1 and 2 will each get 50% point deduction for lateness and seeing the answera. This is almost 8 points off of my final grade. It is meant to be fair to others. I can understand part 1, but why deduct from part 2 when I didn't get any answers? \n\nI'm so mad right now I'm shaking. Will I be a jerk if I write that she was not helpful in this situation in her university evaluation? I will of course answer other questions fairly, like for example she does a good job answering questions. I won't lie and say she was bad at that just because I am mad. However, commenting about her compassion or whatever could hurt her career. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSimply taking points away isn't an alternate assignment. Not only was she too lazy to make one for you, she lied about it in front of the class to look better. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL and BIL had a....quick romance. They started dating after a month of knowing each other, got engaged after 4 months of dating and got married a month after being engaged.\n\nThey'd planned on a year engagement but wanted to move in together. (Sex. They wanted to lose their virginity. Think Westboro Baptist 'Christian')\n\nSo, they announced that they were going to get married in a week via text message. They informed my parents in law that they would use their  back yard and insisted that we all pitch in to help.\n\nSo, my hubby and his parents took off work to clean and renovat a rather neglected back yard. I was able to cut my hours to help as well.\n\nI sewed her dress and her maid of honor gown. If those had been commissioned gowns, they'd have been 1,500 or so USD each. I didn't charge her for my time or material. \n\nMy husband bought a few thousand dollar worth of material to build a dance floor, upgrade the porch and other stuff.\n\nTheir 6th anniversary is happening soon and we got a text from my SIL. She pointed out that money is tight right now(shouldn't be but see another post about that). She asked me to please send money for the anniversary and too send money that I forgot to send for their wedding gift. \n\nI pointed out that the gowns and WEDDING was her gift. She texted back that a dress to be worn once was hardly a good wedding present and I was a bitch ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSIL sounds very entitled.\n\nWho sends people money for their 6th wedding anniversary? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my 2 step sisters who share a room, I guess they haven't gotten along and arguing a lot. My mom and step dad's solution is to break them up in the room and move me and my step brother into a room. I have had the same room since we all first moved in and I was like 7 or something. I have protested this hard, cause I am 17 and don't want to share a room with a 15yo who always smells bad. Like I'm not trying to be too mean but he smells terrible and refuses to shower.\n\nI asked my mom why one of them couldn't share a room with their brother cause they are all related while I'm not, and she told me to just suck it up. Since I had the smallest room I have to move out of my childhood room to my step brother's room. It sucks but its gonna happen next week, I am pretty mad cause I did nothing wrong and I AM the one getting punished while the 2 who are at wrong are getting a reward. My mom and step dad are telling me to grow up and suck it up but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShit parenting, shit situation. Fight with your brother a lot. Byt their logic, that should get you your own room. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have pretty horrendous eyesight. Well, I used to, because I got LASIK pretty recently. Because of this, I have a habit of leaning closer to the TV or laptop screen or whatever while I’m watching TV. When I say leaning I’m just sitting straight upwards and not leaning back into the couch or bed or whatever. Even after my surgery I haven’t lost the habit and I just lean in when I get really into the show. Idk why but it’s always bothered her. First she said that my posture was bad but when I pointed out to her that my posture is great (by virtue of me sitting with my back straight upwards) and the fact that hers is far worse than mine (her back is curved because of this), she backed off of that excuse. But then she never let go of the issue. For the life of me I don’t know why she has such a problem with it. I should also note that I’ve asked her if I’m blocking her from the screen and she says that I don’t. But she just. Won’t. Stop. It’s gotten worse and more frequent because we’re at home more now and we spend a lot of our time watching Netflix together. I’ve asked her to please stop, I’m doing nothing wrong, etc etc.\n\nSo today she was doing it again. I asked her to stop and she does for a while. Then I get up to pee and when I come back she grips my shoulder and pulls me backwards and at this point I can’t help myself and yell at her to leave me alone and eff off and I don’t know why it bothers you so much that I’m sitting straight up or leaning forward, it’s not hurting either me or you. She actually burst into tears and said she’s going for a walk and some fresh air. She hasn’t been back for a while and now I’m getting a bit worried. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe’s physically controlling how you sit. Not OK. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few years ago I moved out and my mom would occasionally bring me food, napkins, toilet paper, etc. when she visited. She would also sometimes give me money, nothing big, just enough for 2-3 days of food. This was all done without me ever saying that I'm short on money or needed it or wanted to borrow it.   \n\n\nNow I have moved in with my partner and am financially way better than I was. She still often visits and still brings us food from their local butchery and similar. The only difference is that now my salary is the same as hers and my partner's salary is higher than my mom's and mine. So now she thinks that since I'm better off financially, I owe her the money she gave me. I disagreed with that, because I even told her numerous times that I did not want to take the money and she always insisted on giving it to me.   \n\n\nOver the years those small amounts probably do sum up to half my monthly salary and it's not that much of a problem for me to return it. But I don't feel like I should be obliged to, because she gave it to me on her own will and not because I asked her to. And the way she handled it, acting like I'm trying to, quote: \"get out of a debt by never bringing it up\".  \n\n\nI also always make sure to bring a small gift when we visit her place. It's usually, again, groceries or something small that I know she needs\/will appreciate. I have more than returned what I \"owe\" her by now.  \n\n\nI'm from Europe so it's also kind of a custom to bring something when you visit, not sure if this is a thing elsewhere. So us bringing each other \"gifts\" is also pretty normal and expected.  \n\n\nAITA for not wanting to give her the money back? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe's your mother and she was helping take care of you, even though you asked her not to. You don't owe her that money back, as that was not the agreement at the time. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago when my daughter was 13 she begged and begged me for a dog till I was so fed up that I gave in. It was a huge mistake but at the time I didn't think it would be since my daughter promised that since it was her dog that she would take care of it and I would just buy it what it needed.\n\nI finally got her a puppy from a neighbour who's dog had just given birth and my daughter was really excited and we both loved the dog.\n\nMy daughter was great at first with the dog, took him 3 walks a day if she could and feed him, she did everything right. After a while though she's been doing hardly anything. I understand she has school and a life of her own but I have work and I'm not at home a lot. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to my daughter just watching TV while the dog hasn't been fed or walked all day, and I come home at 9pm. I have enough time in the morning to feed the dog before I leave and maybe a quick walk. But I'm so sick of hearing myself telling her to do the rest. People have also told me they have spotted her not picking up after the dog when she finally does walk him.\n\nI loved the dog so so much, please don't think I didn't. He was part of the family but there was really nothing I could do. Countless times I have told my daughter that if she doesn't look after him then he'll need a new home, she'll care for him a few days after that but then falls back into doing nothing again. I feel sorry for the dog and I just want him to be happy so I gave him to a friend who I know would take amazing care of the dog, plus she has 2 other dogs to keep him company. She says we can visit him anytime we like so it's not like my daughter will never see him.\n\nMy daughter isn't speaking to me and I am thinking maybe I've screwed up. It's hard as well because my daughter thinks I didn't care about the dog if I could just give it away like that but it was seriously a really hard decision and one I wish could've been avoided. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe's saying you didn't care about the dog? She's the one who would not walk or feed the dog.\n\nYou warned her many times. She can still see to the dog.\n\nNTA. She didn't take responsibility and is taking it out on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I have custody of my son, she’s legally adopted him now. His mother was opposed to abortion but also is staunchly against having children, so she was going to give him up for adoption. I wanted my son, so I took full custody.\n\nHe had her last name, and she failed to inform me of his birth so he got a first and middle name of her choosing. The name she picked was pretty out there, think something like that post about the girl named “qurstyle” or whatever it was but for a boy. I’ve always wanted my son to have my grandad’s name, and since I had full custody I went through the courts to change it.\n\nShe no-showed despite being notified and that was that. Additionally, she hadn’t paid child support at all, which was taken into consideration. His middle name is now the first name she picked since it seemed wrong to completely rob him of any connection to her.\n\nThat was 3 years ago. We recently went through the process of having my wife legally adopt him which his mother cooperated for. But now that it’s done she’s giving me shit about changing his name, saying it was important to her, yada yada yada despite her not having even visited him ever. I don’t want to block her as when my son is older I’m planning to tell him about his mother and give him the option of seeing her if he wants, and I have to be able to contact her for that.\n\nMy wife obviously fully supports me, but his mother is giving me so much shit about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe's not there. The child can change the name back or choose to go by it later if it means anything for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time. \n\nTo try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas\/lentils\/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun\/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer. \n\nMy sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her.\n\nEverything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some \"real food\" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe's living in YOUR HOME. For FREE. She should be grateful about that instead of complaining. ######"}
{"prompt":"It was a couple of us together, my friend started dating this chick. We live in Colorado, but before his girlfriend lived in LA. She was telling us about how she used to live in L.A that she knew a lot of stars, I am not going to name who. But talked about how she hooked up with certain producers. And then said that her boyfriend is lucky that she is with him. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nThis really irked me because my friend is a nice guy and often keeps quiet even when he is uncomfortable. So I just went in and said, 'oh did you actually date these guys or did they just hook up with you once or twice?' She started to get defensive about this, and she was like its more complicated then that. I started pressing more into it as well, and then I said that from my understanding you didn't get those guys. Those guys slept with you and ghosted you and only invited you to parties because you would bring your other female friends.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe got really flustered and angry,  my friend didn't say anything. I just said hey I got to go. My friend's girlfriend definitely see's me as an asshole. And said what I said was misogynist. I don't see it that way at all. I didn't like her thinking she was above my friend or whatever weird power dynamic she was trying to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe's emotionally abusing her boyfriend by bragging about how many guys she slept with and telling him he should feel lucky, because clearly she's just \"lowering her standards.\" Your friends might have felt awkward about the exchange, but their silence says more on their willingness to condone such behaviour than anything else. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.\n\nShe really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie. \nShe thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind. \nEspecially in conversations with others where she would talk \"for\" me. \n\nToday I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime. \n\nShe looked at my dad and said: \"Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?\" \nI was confused that she would lie about me.\nMe: \"That's not true.\"\nShe ignores me. \nI say it again, loudly. \nShe still ignores me. \nMe (yelling because I'm frustrated): \"Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!\"\nThen she stormed out whilst saying: \"You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!\" \n\nI know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe wasn't willing to listen to you and ignored you. Sometimes, yelling, though far from a good thing, is the only way to get through people. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich. \n\nI thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed.\n\nShe came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me. \n\nThis is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe was being ungrateful and rude. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (m,23) have zero tolerance for people who are late. I have been dating a girl (22) for a few months now. She is always late, usually 5-10minutes but sometimes 15-20minutes. It drives me nuts but I dont say much. Yesterday we had a date, she did not show up I was calling her but she was not picking up the phone. After a while I decided to go back home. After 50mins she calls me and says she went to the beauty salon to get her hair done so thats why she was not able to pick up the phone and she was late. She went really mad when told her that I already left. She called me AH, because she spent all the time to look beautiful to me but I did not wait and just left. So, AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe was at least 50 minutes late.  That's extremely disrespectful of your time.\n\nThis isn't going change.  Find someone else to date. ######"}
{"prompt":"its been going on for a while, but durring the lock down her complaining about not being able to find a 'man up to her standards' has gotten the better of me(26f).\n\nHer wants:\nroughly her age\nNever married\nNo kids\nhigh paying job\nno exes drama\nfit\/stays in shape\nloyal\ndoesnt mind spoiler her and their kids.\n\nNow thats not an unseasonable expectation on its face but she(36f)...\n\n1 marriage ended in divorce\n3 kids by 3 different guys, yes one is the ex husbands(middle kid)\nVERY low paying job, needs welfare and mom's help to get by since her baby daddys are dead beats\nlotta baby daddy  drama\n60 pounds over weight\nfar as i know shes never been a cheater though\n\n\n\nShes still been trying online dating during the lock down, but she says shes keeping it to just talking with hopes of meeting after the rona. Which i do think is the responsible way to do it and Im very glad shes handling her search that way.   But she keeps complaining, usually via text, every day how theres no good guys that meet her standards.  most the high earners have a kid or ex wife, or dont have time to work out due to his job.\n\nSo I told her, in private of course, that\"you needs to be realistic. 99% of high earning mid 30s men dont want someone with multiple kids by multiple men, that has no income and is overweight. the '1%' of men look for the '1%' of women.  If she wants a new husband she'll likely have to settle for medium income and probably at least an ex if not a kid\". She called me a bitch for trying to tear down her dream. now mom is upset with me for being too 'mean'.\n\nwas i an asshole and went too far? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe wants a textbook perfect guy when she's a textbook mess. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone,\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nnow I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me.\n\nI had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low.\n\nWhile following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it.  \nNow here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload.\n\nI feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do.\n\nI will probably decide by your answers what to do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe used it in a manner that you warned against and she broke it. She is liable for it. Wether you want to try and pursue the money is up to you, I wouldn’t call you an ah for expecting a replacement so long as you’re nice about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling\/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe sounds mad at you not going along with her and like she's trying to make you feel guilty or annoyed ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences. \n\nAlthough I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe shouldn't have given him a key without talking to you first.\n\nHe doesn't live there, so shouldn't be there if she's out of the house.\n\nBut realistically? They're not going to stop. She's just going to make him another key.\n\nIf sharing the house with her isn't working for you, then you might need to talk to a lawyer about forcing a sale of the house.\n\nShe can take her half of the money, you'll take yours and you can both live in separate homes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah.\n\nSo yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook. \n\nI have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids?\n\nTL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling.\n\nSo reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out?\n\nAlso I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEING SUPERVISED BY HER PARENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE\n\nIt takes time to cut it off, if he had been watching her properly or noticed the scissors out she wouldn’t have done it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend broke up with my last night out of the blue. She said she woke up one day a couple months ago and said she wasn’t happy in the relationship and she wasn’t getting what she wanted out but she waited until last night to tell me. A few months ago we went to get some pottery at a local store. She wanted to buy a gift for some people. But she left her wallet, so I offered to pay if she paid me back. Well she never paid me back. I want to leave the receipt with a civil message asking for the money back on her door step.  Is this asshole-ish? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe said she'd pay you back. A break-up doesn't change anything here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe posted pictures of you without your permission. Super simple, she should take it down. Additionally, tik tok tends to assume things and you could end up getting a bad name because of what she posted. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger\/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??). \n\nI however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable. \n\nThis is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)\n\nAnyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.” \n\nSo, am I being a snob\/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe knows it makes you uncomfortable yet she continues to do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up to 1 year now. Her best friend has been having a 3 month affair with a married man. She knows he is married. \n\nShe found out she was pregnant a month back and he has completely disappeared into thin air. He has blocked or deleted her from tinder and she never got his real name (they both went by aliases) and now she is desperately searching for him on Facebook but nothing even in the ballpark has come up. \n\nThe guy offered her abortion money and offered to go with her. She refused because she has a 3 y\/o and she wants a sibling for her baby. \n\nI can’t say I didn’t see him disappearing. He’s a piece of shit coward for having an affair in the first place and so of course he’s gonna abscond from a pregnancy from his side chick too. From my perspective it’s fairly obvious he was using my girlfriends friend and she should have either known that or have been prepared to deal with the consequences. \n\nMy girlfriend is very worried about her friend and keeps talking to me about it and asking what I think even though I’ve made it clear I don’t approve of either of their trashy behavior. I told her ‘well what did she expect?’ She keeps asking me if I think ‘as a man’ is it possible he will come back. I said hell no. Sometimes especially within the context of a couple talking let’s be frank we won’t always be politically correct. \n\nShe flipped her shit and said that my attitude towards her pregnant friend is misogynistic and I’m being heartless. I don’t think I am and I feel I’m allowed to have an obvious opinion such as that. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe knew what she was getting into and you're being honest I get it's her friend but that's no excuse for her behavior ######"}
{"prompt":"So my(25m) sister(19f) is staying with me during quarantine because I live in her college city and our mom is across the country. I live in a two bedroom apartment, but the second bedroom I had been using as a game room\/office.\n\nOur mom sent her some money for a bed when she moved in, but my sister spent it on a new computer. Since then she’s been sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. For about a month now she’s been whining that it’s uncomfortable and I’d just been ignoring her. Apparently she texted my girlfriend about it because when I talked to her she said it’s “inhumane” that I’m making her sleep on the floor and I should buy a cheap bed for her.\n\nI don’t see why I should have to since she can move back with my mom, or sell her computer and buy a bed. She was given money, it’s not like she didn’t have a chance.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe knew what she was doing when she used the bed money for a computer. She blatantly thought she could then force you to buy her a bed. She doesn't deserve to be rewarded for misusing your mother's money. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July.\nShe wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around. \n\nBecause of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him.\n\nIt might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend.\n\nSo, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe isn't ready. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my (16F) mom (50) told me that she recorded me singing in the shower from outside the door. Later, one of her friends was over and asked me if I would sing. My mom said that she showed him the video. I didn't say much then, but today, I brought it up and told her she shouldn't record me without my permission or send it to other people. \n\nShe almost immediately started screaming at me, saying she never said anything about showing someone else, and that she recorded it for herself because I never sing for her when she asks. It seems like a pretty big deal to her. I get the feeling now she's going to be mad at me for the next few weeks. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe invaded your privacy and when you called her out on it she reacted in a very belligerent and disingenuous manner. ######"}
{"prompt":"my wife has been avoiding me for a couple months now. I thought it was stress. I lost my job, and was fully at home for nearly 3 weeks, and she started working more. Thing is, she would be 2-3 hours late coming home from work. One night, she didnt come home at all. I felt bad for her working so hard, so I made everything here as easy as possible while I looked for a new job. I ended up getting a new job fast enough that we didnt miss a paycheck, but she was still so distant, and still working extra. on my second day of work at the new job, she left for an errand the moment I got home. We have 2 daughters (1 and 2 1\/2), so I went to get them from a nap, only to see my wifes ipad open, and receiving messages. some about me, but mostly about the guy shes been seeing for the last 2 weeks. I didnt mean to see them, but I couldnt look away, and she is furious at me for seeing them. I was served divorce papers yesterday, and have been getting messages from her friends saying that im the worst for reading those. Im thinking that if I hadnt seen them, I never would have known about the other guy, and her plan to take the kids to him. so, AITAH for reading my wifes messages? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe had the iPad open not closed. So you didn’t go out of your way to look into what she was doing. She’s just using that as an excuse for her cheating. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m FTM, when I was 14 I came out as transgender to my parents.\n\nMy sister was 5 when I came out, she’s now 18.\n\nI’m now 27, married with a daughter (I don’t know if I need to clarify but we used a donor and my wife got pregnant) \n\nMy parents helped pay so we could afford the bills etc that came along with trying for a baby.\n\nA month ago my sister told my parents she’s pregnant, they couldn’t  handle it and she asked to live with me, which me and my wife agreed upon.\n\nLast night we were talking about mum and dad and I apologised for their behaviour, it’s just a shock as she’s their only daughter.\n\nShe, literally, said “they should accept me being pregnant, like they accepted you being trans”\n\nThis, by itself would’ve been frustrating but for the past month she’s been misgendering me- I realise she’s clearly bitter over our parents accepting me and not her pregnancy.\n\nI asked her to leave this morning and after a few tears she’s moving in with our aunt, who lives hours away so she won’t be able to see her baby daddy.\n\nMy wife thinks maybe I overreacted because the subject (being trans) can be a little sensitive for me and she’s pregnant and scared.\n\nMy aunt thinks I’m a complete twat.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe got pregnant while very young, not in a serious relationship or financially independent and still living with her parents. I'm not trying to judge anyone else here who may have been in a similar situation but in this case, it doesn't sound like particularly responsible behaviour to me.\n\nSo she's trying to compare her being irresponsible and making a mistake to you not being cis, which isn't something you can control.\n\nIt's kind of like saying \"they should accept me getting pregnant at 18 because they accepted you having blue eyes.\" One is a behaviour. The other is part of who you are. \n\nNot to mention that the way she's saying it, combined with her misgendering you, makes her sound transphobic, because she's implying that being trans is a bad thing.\n\nIs her misgendering you a new thing? I wonder if she's somehow being radicalised.\n\nEdit: reconsidered my phrasing and changed the word \"unmarried\" in the first paragraph to \"not in a serious relationship or financially independent\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night we decided that I am going to come to her apartment around 8. When I got up today it was raining and the bus was a bit late so I arrived  to her apartment around 8:10. When I knocked on the door she told me through the door that she is just going to take a quick shower. Her showers always take an hour and this was no exception. I was waiting for an hour in the rain, because she wanted to take a shower before opening the door. After she finally opened the door I was horrible. During the day she keeps asking me why I am not joyful as usual. After telling her many times that I had to wait for an hour in the rain she said: \"You that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9\". I was defeated and just went back to my place. AITA for acting the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe could have let you in before her shower.\n\nFor future reference, a good general plan is to not wait for another person for longer than 15 minutes.\n\nIn this case, the minute she left you in the rain so she could take a shower, she prioritized her desire for a shower over your comfort and you should have just left. ######"}
{"prompt":"A girl i had been sleeping with recently got pregnant. She however had been sleeping with dozens of other men and she only slept with me once, while she slept with them all the time. I wore a condom as well so the chances of it being my baby are incredibly slim so she hasn't been able get me for child support but she claims that its mine because the baby is white and she's white and all the other men she slept with are black. (she claims that but i know thats a lie, I've seen her with white and asian men) I basically told her to fuck off whenever she tried to contact me wit the baby. \n\nShe wants to take a DNA test to prove wh the father is so she can get child support. Its without a doubt not mine but she wants me because I'm the most financially stable and can pay the most. She is pretty poor and so is most of the city i live in. DNA tests can often costs $300 to $500 gerneally which is like 3-4 of her weeks salary. She wants me and all the other men to go on the Maury show so she can get the test for free. I told her to fuck off and I'm not doing that. She keeps contacting me about it and i got sick of it so i blocked her. Her friends keep contacting me to and i tell them to fuck off and i block them too\n\nA lot of people keep telling  me i need to either pay for the test or go on the Maury show because its unfair for a struggling mom on such a low paycheck to have to pay for that. I saw fuck that and fuck her for being such a whore she doesn't even know who the father is. Its not mine and I'm not going to waste time being on this show, not to mention i don't want the publicity from being on that bullshit show. I don't care if she has to spend that much money on a paternity test, its her own fault ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe cant tf ake you to court over paternity if she feels so strong about support. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away. \n\nShe says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.\n\nBut the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business. \n\nWould we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe can move her own bedroom if it bothers her that much, this neighbour has a real cheek! ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby.\n\nThat made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again.\n\nI thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep.\n\nThe plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month. \n\nTwo weeks ago though my  roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore.\n\nAfter that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it.\n\nEarlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do.\n\nI totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe asked you to move out for the sake of her new family, but what if that didn't work for you? Would she have still let you stay, or would she be more interested in her new plan?\n\nYou gotta take care of yourself girl. There are definitely tons of people looking for places to live right now. No shortage of potential roomies.\n\n If her savings really don't allow her to pay a single month's rent without a roomie, she's got much bigger problems coming her way. \n\nYou do NOT want to be around for that, because she'll likely need to be floated money in the future. Plus, her relationship sounds like it's going to be very ON\/OFF. Let her deal with her own mess. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I live together, and she’s usually pretty relaxed and easy to get along with. But today she put on a smaller tank top, and some shorts, looked in the mirror and asked if the top made her look fat.\n\nNow my girlfriend isn’t fat per se, but she’s a little chubby. She’s still attractive, but she’s not a 2% body fat supermodel. Neither am I, but I don’t get upset if someone points it out.\n\nI said she looked great, and she said that I didn’t answer the question. I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and then started crying.\n\nAt this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. I gave her a perfectly nice answer in the first place, and she wanted an honest answer.\n\nShe claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe asked you a question, heard the polite answer, refused it and then couldn’t take the honest one ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so \"old\" and has not found \"the one.\" I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings. \n\nMy daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year. \n\nRecently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.  \n\nI feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy. \n\nBoth my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nShe asked to know what was wrong, you gave an honest opinion. If she thinks she’s hopeless and genuinely wanted an answer well she got one, maybe “the one” will be able to put up with all her needs but for now, you just gave advice that you believe will help her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.\n\nApproximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming. \n\nThen one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him. \n\nWe were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.\n\nSince that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.\nFrom their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him. \n\nFrom my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSeriously.  If I had the mental fortitude and rapport with my exes new significant other I'd have warned her.  \n\nNot because I hate him.  I really hope they are actually happy.\n\nBut because he used, abused, and manipulated me into never wanting to be in a relationship with a man again and I never want someone else to go through that. \n\nI really don't care about him and his life.  He can be happy or miserable, IDGAF, I just want people to know what they are getting into.\n\nMaybe he has changed, but I doubt it. \n\nEither way you're NTA for telling her what happened to you.  It is absolutely your own business who you tell about your trauma. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) were in the middle of foreplay when I pulled back his for skin and saw it was a little bit ( just a little bit ) gross. I asked him if he could clean it before we went any further and he responded by saying “can we not just have sex then go shower?” To which I said that’s unsanitary and I didn’t want to. He then threw a hissy, stated the mood was gone because of me and he didn’t want to have sex anymore. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSeriously, wtf. He needs to clean that shit. I never get offended when my gf has asked me (it's happened a couple times) to wash up before sex. Sometimes we even shower together and then have sex once we're fresh and clean. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, he (23m) isn’t playing for me (23f) specifically, just playing because it’s his hobby.  A few hours a day and it’s not generally popular music, usually songs from games or films and 9 times out of 10 they are what I would call ‘Cowboy Themed’.  He also does the singing in the appropriate accent for the song (we are English).\n\nWe live in a very small flat, our kitchen and living room are one and the only other rooms are the loo and bedroom.  He plays in the living room and when he starts I tend to get up and go and sit in the bedroom.  The reason for this is because it’s not really the type of music that I like, and he does it LOUD.  It’s very overpowering to be in the same room as.\n\nHe’s recently mentioned that he thinks it’s rude for me to leave and that I should stay and listen.  I thought this was a bit uncalled for, especially considering I don’t even put the tv volume above 15 if it’s something only I’m watching and he’s in the room, and I’ve also watched a video on my phone with sound out loud (not through headphones) precisely once during the time we’ve lived together while we’ve been in the same room, and he asked me to mute it within 30 seconds of it being on because ‘the woman’s voice is annoying’ which I did immediately.  I generally make an effort to not be overly loud when doing anything with others present as I was raised that this is rude.\n\nI don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but I think I need another perspective on this!  Thanks 😊 ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSeriously though, you married the annoying guy at parties who whips out the acoustic guitar?\n\nThat's on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory mobile apology for formatting and spelling \n\nThis year my grandmother (mother’s father, not that that matters) is turning 80. For her 80th my mother and I are making her a quilt. The plan is to have all of the family members sign a block of the quilt and then for us to stitch over it. \n\nFor our purposes family is defined as her siblings (full and half), her descendants (all living generations) and all of her descendants spouses.\n\nWe are choosing not to do significant others that are not already “common law married” (ie been together for 10+) years because it’s a lot of work to make a quilt and it would be awkward to have a name that is no longer part of the fam on there.\n\nWe sent a single square to my brother (22) to sign and he called and was pissed that we didn’t send one for his gf (23). They’re both fresh out of college (graduated this semester) and have been dating for 2 years. We told him we don’t want her name on their because she isn’t part of the family by the definitions we set for the purpose. He told us he’s not going to sign his then. \n\nWhile it might be worth noting, grandma does not like the gf because she is overly dependent on my brother, it is not the deciding factor. We have family on the quilt that she also does not like but is either her descendant or a spouse of her descendant. The gf is simply not included due to the relative brevity of the relationship. \n\n\nAITA for not wanting her name to be on the quilt I’m making? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSend him one last message. “We all decided together who would be included in the quilt project.  You agreed that significant others who are not married and haven’t been together for at least 10 years would not be included.  You may have changed your mind, but we haven’t.  If you don’t want to be included, we’re sad about it, but we aren’t going to fight about it.  If you change your mind, we need your square by next Friday in order to get it sewn in.”  \n\nAnd then if he doesn’t sign it, just put a blank one in that he can sign later after he gets over himself.  You might want to put a couple blank ones in anyway for descendants that haven’t been born yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story, I (47m) have been married for 21 years wife (50f), we had 4 kids the oldest passed two years ago. So for lockdown it’s 3 kids 15,19,21 wife and me. My work payed off everyone but the Management team. Which I’m a part of, we were all asked if we had a vehicle as preference is given to those who can help running stuff from place to place. (Don’t want to give away too much identification to my store). I said I didn’t have a vehicle because my marriage is not a real one of two humans working together to make the best life, it’s my wife and her stuff and whatever I can earn for her and the kids, she doesn’t work, inherited a large sum 8 years ago and refuses to help with the bills. The car was purchased by my wife and therefore is hers, I should add she also owns a second vehicle. \n  When I told my wife that there’s a better chance for me to stay working if I have a vehicle she said well of course you can use it, you need to work. That was a month ago, this week I asked my daughter to have the car home so I could go to work and my wife freaked, saying  it’s not my car and the bosses are rich enough to pay for my transport. \n\nSo fine, if I can’t use her car, she can’t use my PlayStation, which means no streaming service or televised entertainment at all in the living room for anyone.\n\nAITA for diving to her depths? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSell the PlayStation (when you're able to) along with anything else you own that might fetch some money.\n\nBuy a cheap-but-decent car.\n\nLeave your wife. Obtain a divorce.\n\nStart living a better life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friends and I (20M, we all around 20) go into a group facetime call and just chill and talk on it. Sometimes we play games, but we mainly just talk, we usually call for literal hours.\n\nTheres this one girl in our group call, that has recently started learning how to play the ukulele.\n\nIt's great and all, but its really annoying to hear it over the mic, shes not bad, but she makes alot of mistakes, she keeps plucking strings until she finally hits the right one, which is what makes it such an annoyance.\n\nI've literally asked her a handful of times to stop because its really loud over the mic, whenever I do she just starts singing to drown me out.\n\nWhen were playing games, all I hear in the background is a shitty ukulele and a decent voice.\n\nThis past monday, she joined the call and she was holding her stupid ukulele. I clicked on her icon, and muted it. Since then I've muted her during all the calls because it seems like all she wants to do is just play the ukulele, I've realized that she doesnt even notice because she never talks. Not one of my friends in the call said a word about me muting her because I assumed they all agreed it was annoying as fuck.\n\nToday she found out that I was muting her without her knowledge and she bitched and cried about how much of a dick move it was to do something like that, and now everyone is acting like I'm a POS. If everyone had such a huge problem with it, then they should have said something. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nSay that you *did* tell her, but she started singing to drown you out. :P ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI’ll try to keep this simple. I (23M) have been dating (23F) for about 5 months now, and our relationship has been official\/public for most of that time. She is extremely supportive, generous, and I think, a great girlfriend overall. I am not a big social media user, but my she loves Twitter. I don’t have Twitter, but as she spends hours on it everyday, I got curious and decided to look her up. Sort of teasing, I asked what her username was, and she said, “Are you looking me up? Don’t look at my Twitter.” I assumed she was being lighthearted in turn and just teasing. Well, I managed to find her handle and after about 5 minutes she made her account private. \n\nNow, I try not to be sensitive, but I admit I was a little hurt. I didn’t realize she was being so serious about this. I asked her if I was going to see something offensive, she said no. I asked if she was doing things she didn’t want me to see, she said no (which is obviously paradoxical). \n\nHer position is that Twitter is “her space.” I replied that no, it’s actually the most public space you can get, which is why I’m confused that she doesn’t want her BOYFRIEND to see what she’s doing. \n\nWe are at the point in our relationship where we’ve talked about our past. I know she has met\/sexted guys via Twitter. I understand that everyone has a past, and everyone has a right to privacy, but this just feels icky to me. I am still fairly new to the relationship thing, and I am genuinely not trying to have trust issues here, but to me this feels like a red flag. My girlfriend seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing. AITA? Do I just need to chill out? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nRun. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nNeedless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch\/use\/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place.\" Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nRun from this kleptomaniac as fast as you can. ######"}
{"prompt":"This seems like a straightforward YTA kind of thread. \n\nSee the thing is I turned 21 when everything was in lockdown. It was a bummer but I get it. My close friend (26f) and I had this plan to visit the city, reserve a nice room and celebrate and postpone it. It was suppose to be next week then my friend announced she'll probably get her  period next week, so we have to cancel.\n\nThat seems odd, right? Well my friend can, but refuses to wear tampons. They make her feel immoral. One of the big activities was visiting a water theme park but if she gets her period, she can't go swim. Again, no matter what she'll refuse to wear a tampon even for an hour.\n\nThis sort of irked me because whenever we plan a trip for her birthday she makes sure she books the room during the earlier days of the month to avoid this problem. For my trip she booked it on a later week. She says simply we can just reschedule, because she gets weeks off, but for me my work isn't that easy. I need to put my request in at least 2 months in advance. I also take care of my ill grandma and had to pull some strings to make sure my sister would be her caretaker these days.\n\nMy friend seems to have no care about any of this. I've told her we could just skip the park but she says that's what she's looking forward to the most. I'm upset and stressed right now and I don't know if I have a right to be. I know it's not something controllable but she's often so aware of this and it feels like she put all my concern on the backburner. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nRuining the whole trip because your 26yr old friend is too disappointed that she won't be able to go to the water park? I know it can be easier said than done, but I'd try and get a new friend. Preferably one with a mental age older than 12. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry it’s a long one!! \n\nI’ve worked in front of house and restaurant\/bar jobs for years now and I’m good at what I do, I always try to be polite and organised and get on well with customers. I was 17 at the time of this. \nBut, a few years ago I was working in a country pub which was always especially busy on Sundays, we would regularly have over 70 tables per shift. \nI was front of house one week where we had a Christening party of 50 coming in for a meal- booked in at 1pm. To cater to this I made sure I didn’t take any book in’s around that time and sat no one in that section of the pub. However, it came to 1pm and no one had arrived from the party, time went on and it was 2pm- I decided to try calling the numbers they had given me and left voice mails. It was then 4pm and still no one had arrived or contacted us about the book in after we had called them multiple times at this point. \nAs we were so busy it was rediculous to keep a whole section of the restaurant unused and made me look unprofessional turning people away saying we had nowhere to sit them. I called the Christening party a final time at 5pm and told them they had missed their booking and began seating people in the Christening section. \nAt 5:30 almost 30 cars arrived and people started filing in saying they were a part of the party and trying to shove past me saying how they needed to be seated. I then had to stop all of them saying how they had missed their booking and there was no way I could seat them now. This was met with screaming abuse from the mother and I’m assuming her mother too (which were both Karen’s in case you were wondering). They were shouting how they had booked this months in advance and I should’ve held their tables even if they were a bit late and I should kick everyone out of the section they were meant to be sitting in. \nI simply told them they could wait in our bar area till a section is clear or they could go home but I wasn’t going to kick people out. \nWITA?? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nRestaurant in Germany are only required to hold your reservation for 15 min past the booked time. I don’t know the policy where you are from but four fucking and half hours is way way to late to still insist on a reservation. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend, both 21, have been together for about a year. I was visiting him when we went into lockdown so I’ve been staying with him and his family. For the most part I really get on with them, his parents have made some disapproving comments about me but I’ve enjoyed it here for the most part. \n\nThis coming Sunday the local church will be hosting its usual mass, and with my boyfriends parents being extremely religious, are obviously going. I’ve never ever been to church, and was brought up told to choose my religion (or none at all) when I was old enough. My boyfriend isn’t that religious either, but goes to keep his mum happy. I told him I didn’t want to go because in all honesty I think it’d just make me uncomfortable, and he told me it was just an hour of my life and to just go and “sit pretty”, which kind of pissed me off. I’ve been through a lot in my life and, although I greatly respect religions and religious people, I don’t believe in it at all. \n\nHe told his mum and it’s started some kind of war in this house, with my boyfriends younger brother saying he’s not going if I’m not. I was never rude about any of it at all. His mum is saying I’m not of the same “social status” as his family and he therefore shouldn’t be with me. My boyfriend is pissed at me saying I should’ve just went along with it to keep the peace. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nReligion is a personal thing. You believe what you believe.\n\nNoone has the right to demand another person goes and \"sits pretty\".\n\nIn my book, anyone who judges someone's \"social status\" as a reason to look down on them is not a true Christian anyway. \n\nThey want you to play a part. In short, to be someone that you aren't. They should be ashamed and you should decide if you really want any of these people in your life long term. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my sister and her husband just had another baby. In the past they have been very clear about not posting pictures of their kids on social media. When they texted the extended family to announce the birth, they added a couple of picture and asked no pictures be put on social media. \nWell today. Scrolling Facebook I saw my aunt had posted one of the pictures of the baby along with it’s full name, birthdate, height and weight. This aunt has posted pictures of the kids in the past, but I’m not sure if the parents have discussed this more with her or not. The parent don’t have any social media so they won’t find out about the post unless someone tells them. I also feel it’s important to know that her Facebook is public, so anyone can see the photo, not just her friend list. \n\nSo WIBTA if I told the parents? I feel they should know but I know my aunt will be upset if she finds out I told on her, and there’s a good chance she would find out. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nReguardless of if this aunt heard of or knew the rules the parent(s) of the child should be informed. \n\nIt doesn't nesisarily need to be anything brutal; just a kind reminder and a request for a takedown of said photo and information. \n\nIf the aunt then refuses, do as you see fit. Pretty sure you can just report it to facebook and the reasoning behind it and it should be able to be removed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Seven years ago, my biological sperm donor cheated on my mother with a college aged girl that was like two years older than me. I cut him out of my life, went FULL no contact since he was a real bastard and I found it incredibly creepy that he was now \"dating\" someone that was basically my age. I haven't kept up with his life, I made it really clear to everyone in my family at the time, I want nothing to do with him and if they wanted me to still come to family things on my dad's side, that was my condition.\n\nEveryone respected my boundaries, until recently. \n\nTurns out, Sperm Donor got married to his 25 yr old GF, and had a kid. But surprise, surprise, their massive age gap relationship wasn't all roses and they got divorced pretty quickly later. Not my problem, but now ex-Wife is getting remarried and gave Sperm Donor full custody over their 5 yr old. Sperm Donor was a pretty shitty parent with us, so unsurprisingly, I doubt he's too keen to be a single dad at near 60. \n\nHere's the problem. Gran and Auntie want me to \"develop a relationship\" with the five year old half sibling. It's still my \"blood\" apparently. I want nothing to do with his midlife crisis lovechild, and neither does my brother. And honestly, to me, it feels like Sperm Donor is just trying to get free babysitting\/weasel his way into our lives again. I've lived through seven years without him, and I'm happy to die this way. I'm thirty now, I have no interest in getting to know my five year old sister.\n\nAm I the Asshole for refusing to get in contact with her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nrather an absent sibling than a sibling who can’t help the hate the harbor for how they came to life. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory:\n\nMy (16F) dad and mom (both 37F&amp;40M) got a divorce two years ago because my father cheated on my mother, her (the mistress) and my dad got married two months after my parents got a divorce.\n\nMy parents have joint custody of me and my siblings (17M &amp; 16M (my twin brother), we’re all close and decided we wanted to visit our father, his wife and her kids (16&amp;15F, the father passed) every two weeks since it was either that or we’d have to spend our holidays with them (mother’s orders) which we all didn’t want.\n\nI don’t like the two teenage girls and neither do my brothers, they’ve called us the n word multiple times (our dad is Italian while our mom is black, my stepsisters&amp;stepmom are white), usually stay out late, smoke etc.\n\nStory:\n\nWe were at my dad’s house, my brother (twin) and I were playing video games in the living room, my stepsister (16) wanted to watch tv even though she has a tv in her room, we told her to give us half an hour since we hadn’t been playing for long, my stepsister called us both ‘ghetto n——‘ out of nowhere and my stepmother came downstairs to ask what happened.\n\nI explained to her what happened and she told me “Anna (random name), I’ve talked to you about this, stop being weak.”\n\nI asked her if my stepsister would be getting a consequence and she told me no because I was being weak, then added “for a black girl”.\n\nI responded by saying, “I’m weak yet you don’t have enough respect for yourself to leave a man who forgot to tell you he had a wife and kids.” since she wasn’t aware my father had a family while he was cheating with her.\n\nShe went ballistic and my brother (17) who had just woken up had to hold her back, I feel kind of guilty but I also don’t.\n\nNow I’m waiting for my dad to get home.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nRacism is never excused and it's clear where the step daughter got her attitude from.\n\nPlease keep us updated on what your father says. ######"}
{"prompt":"About six months ago I installed security cameras on my property. One indoors to monitor the baby's room and three outdoors: one facing the porch, one my backyard, and one my rear door. I have a hot tub by the rear door.\n\nHaving cameras facing front door or porch is pretty typical, right? People use Ring doorbells or what-have-you and don't think anything of it. Because I thought this was fairly standard for 2020, I didn't tell my friends. Whenever I entertained guests, it was always indoors where the only camera is somewhere a guest would never go. Something I should mention is I *never* let guests use my hot tub.\n\nBack in February I had to leave town for a few days and asked a friend to visit and let my dog out and feed her a few times a time. My friend lives only a block away and I compensated her for her time. Unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, apparently she used my hot tub. Not just her, but two friends of hers did as well. And, they decided to hot tub without clothing.\n\nIf it's not obvious, I don't check my cameras often unless there's a reason to. Neighbour told me the day prior that he saw someone get dropped off at my house while I went to do groceries, go into the backyard and then leave. So I wanted to see what they did.\n\nSo I have footage of a friend with two other women changing in front of my hot tub, hot tubbing for an hour or so, then leaving. I told my friend that I wish she had asked permission before using my hot tub and told her what I saw and she freaked out calling me a pervert. She says it's my responsibility to tell people I have cameras around my property, even if their usage is benign. \n\nShe wants to file charges against me for voyeurism. Sure, I watched the clip but only to see the extent of it and I deleted it after I was done with it. I counter that her friends were trespassing and I didn't permit use of my hot tub to begin with.\n\nAm I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nquite correctly, they were trespassing. Pretty sure you don't have to tell people that aren't supposed to use the facilities about the cameras. Different case if you allowed people to use your hot tub. But you don't. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (30f) took on full support of my step-daughter (16f) about 2 years ago. We get no help from her actual mother in any way because laws are complicated. Up until 2 years ago I would have said her mother, her father and myself had a shockingly good working relationship regarding my daughter. Then 2 years ago we got a call from a concerned friend that caused us to take my daughter full time. \n\nSince then it has come to light they were hiding that her mother is an alcoholic, that her mother let her friends and boyfriends abuse my daughter emotional and physically, and that she was spending all of our child support on boyfriends while telling friends we were doing nothing for my daughter at all. \n\nA couple weeks ago my daughter overheard my husband and I upset that her mother had claimed our daughter on her taxes even though she didn’t spend a single night sleeping in her house. Since then my daughter has decided she can ask her mother for all kinds of toys and such because her mother “owes her 4 thousand dollars of support.” I have discussed with her that manipulating people and using people is very wrong, but she says her mother deserves it. I can’t say I don’t agree, but I am concerned that I am just very angry with her. So I am turning to a third party. Am I the asshole for not stepping in for forcefully and making my daughter treat her mother better?\n\nEdit: My daughter does have a therapist but it has been interrupted by covid-19 as she refuses phone therapy. We are doing our best until everything opens up again. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPlease get therapy for this girl, to help her deal with the abuse.\n\nPerhaps you should check with an accountant, too, and also r\/legaladvice.  If there is any way to fix the taxes, go for it.  Since the child was living with you, why didn't you and your DH claim her also?  If so, then the IRS would have straightened it out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've just come home from spending a long weekend with my family for the first time since the pandemic. I usually go see them once a month but for obvious reasons I haven't been there since Feb. \nNow, for some back story. I come from a single parent household. It's always been my mum, my sister(20f) and I(24f). \nEver since I can remember, I've always been the fat sister. My younger sister has always been beautiful and fit and I have always been compared to her. \nA while back I went into a bit of a rough time with depression and I gained a lot of weight. Since the lockdown started I have been dieting and exercising, I have been really happy and have set myself a goal to be on my healthy weight by August next year, everything is going according to plan, I have told my family this but they still insist on making me feel like \"the fat one\" even though there are so many other aspects of me as a person, I feel like I will never be anything more than \"the fat one\" I came home and my mum (who is very religious) started sending me bible quotes and telling me that I clearly don't love myself, and that I'm going to die of a heart attack soon. \nWhile my sister spent the whole weekend shaming me for every single bite I took. \nAfter my mum's messages I told her that I loved her but I was going to take a step back from them as I felt like the whole dynamic is turning very toxic and I can feel myself slipping back into that depressed person that I worked so hard to put behind. So I left the family group chat and now everyone is angry at me. They say they are only looking out for me but I can't help but think that's just not the case. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPlease don't make the mistake of thinking because you were raised by a single parent, they are then owed gratitude in the form tolerating their abuse.\n\nYour family is toxic, and it's plain as day to me that they don't respect you. They may respect life choices you make, or a path you are on (career), but they don't respect *you*.\n\nDon't give them the ultimatum of the boundaries. Put them up. If they can't respect the boundaries you set, then you may have to ask yourself if you aren't better off without them. Especially if they can so easily push you back into depression. ######"}
{"prompt":"For Mother’s Day this year I decided to give my mother plane tickets to japan (her home country) for us to go on a girls trip together. I thought this was a nice gesture, since she loves going visiting japan. We never really go on girls trip and since I could actually afford to pay for it myself I thought it would be a nice experience. My mom was so overjoyed and excited to go! She hated that I spent so much money on her, but she loved the gift.\n\nHowever, my dad was not happy about this.\n\nI once mentioned my plan to give her the tickets to him prior and he said that it was a great idea. However on the day of he got extremely upset and when I confronted him about it he told me that I shouldn’t plan things with my mom without his approval. According to him, when I mentioned to him about my plans, he thought that he could go to. He was angry that he was not included in our mother-daughter girls trip. On Mother’s Day, during the confrontation he claimed “What about me? What am I going to do?”. He then claimed that it was him that married my mom and not me and then proceeded to ignore the both of us the rest of the day. \n\nToday, I learned from my mom that my dad forbade her from going on the trip with me. When I asked my mother why she didn’t stand up to him she replied with “I really wanna go on this trip with you, but I don’t want to disobey your father”. She has decided that though she wants to go on the trip, she cannot go unless she has permission from my father. \n\nI have a great relationship with both my parents and I’m not completely sure of why my dad is acting this way. I don’t like how my mom is treated like his property instead of his wife and needs “permission” to do the things she wants. But that’s their marriage and that’s how she decided she wanted to be treated so I can’t do anything about that.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPlease be sure to give your dad a nice, thoughtful gift of NOTHING for father's day.\n\n\nNo wait, give him a bill for any money you lose because your mom \"isn't allowed\" to go. (Nonrefundable tickets, etc.)\n\n\nWhat a selfish, horrible man. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPlaying *anything* loudly on one’s phone is obnoxious, especially if it’s bothering others. If you have space, could either she or you go into another room? Either that, or she needs to use headphones. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married. \n\nMy grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.\n\nWhen I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPerhaps you could wear it for a photo shoot with your mom or maternal relatives? It could be like a lovely reunion with photos and a special thing as you all age. That might make your mom chill a little. Even the least controlling moms can get a little nutty when you marry- you’re growing up and changing and that can be suddenly hard. She might be feeling a bit rejected. She will get over it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few days ago, one of my friends (who lives less than a half a mile away from me) sent me a picture of the sky because it was super dark. And here is the ensuring conversation verbatim:\n\nFriend: it's going to storm really bad\nMe: I don't think it'll be that bad but I'm still excited\nF: dude go fuck yourself\nM: ???\nF: it's rude to be excited for storms because they give other people really bad anxiety and panic attacks (goes on to divert conversation to book they're reading)\n\nAnd I'm confused because they know I absolutely love storms and find solace in them. Even when there are tornadoes sirens going off, I enjoy them. I am aware that my friend doesn't enjoy storms but should that really stop me from even talking about my love for them? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nPeople have anxiety about everything. If you weren't able to enjoy things that gave other people anxiety, no one would be able to enjoy anything.\n\nLots of people like storms. Nature is cool ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me.\n\nA part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating a pattern of running and walking as prompted by audio cues from the app. Last week was 60 seconds of walking with 15 seconds of running.\n\nSomeone who was sharing the outside space with me seemed to think I could do better, and that I wanted his instruction\/encouragement to get 'better'. He matched my pace and was telling me to \"keep going\" and \"you can run longer than that\".\n\nI told him \"thanks, but I'm doing c25k\". Then the next time, \"I'm doing intervals.\" After the third time I snapped and went \"piss off and leave me alone already\".\n\nApparently that made me an \"ungrateful bitch\" (which he yelled at me again today), but he at least fucked off. AITA for phrasing it the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nOn  a personal level that's just creepy to start running alongside a stranger and encouraging them. You politely tried to decline this person and they kept on you, no need to keep up the niceties then.\n\nAlso as an athlete, it's so strange that he assumed to know your training plan without asking you, and that he could train you better than you could train yourself. In general when you see someone working out, you never know their level of fitness and how this particular exercise integrates into a larger training plan. I remember once I joined a new running club, and everyone was much faster than me. I ran with the only woman who was running my pace and said something like \"its so nice to meet someone my pace, everyone here is so fit.\" She replied with something to the effect of \"yeah I'm happy to run with you, but I'm not always going this pace, I just finished a 200+ mile race this weekend so I'm taking an easy day.\" Its rude to assume you know how someone should be training without even talking to them, this guy definitely over stepped those boundaries, and then didn't respect you when you made yourself clear. ######"}
{"prompt":"On Twitter a video originally posted on tik tok has gone viral of a man building his wife a coffee table. In the video the wife says how she wanted a expensive coffee table but the husband says he will just build it for her. \n\nI liked 2 retweets of the video. The first one says “I want a bob the builder a** husband” and the second one was “men forever asking can we cook, can y’all do this?” because UHM who wouldn’t want a husband who can build coffee tables?! \n\nHere’s the issue! My boyfriend saw that i liked those tweets and accused me of wanting another man who can build me coffee tables. My response was “.... can you not build stuff?” because i thought he was really good at those things. He told me that i didn’t like those tweets because of him and told me to go find a “bob the builder a** dude” since i wanted someone else. \n\nHe said i liked the tweets because of the guy in the video.... i’m super confused because the guy is literally building his WIFE a table and i thought it was super cute too! I think every girl whether or not she has a boyfriend would love a husband who can build things. That doesn’t mean she wants someone that isn’t her boyfriend. \n\nHe has now blocked me and called me a hoe. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nOh, snap!  He blocked you and CALLED YOU A HO, and you’re not describing him as your EX-boyfriend?  Girl, you better think long and hard about whether to pump the brakes on your relationship with this jealous, insecure little boy.  \n\nThat’s the kind of guy that develops into a woman-beater ... be careful, for real. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't know how to feel about this situation so I'm turning to internet strangers who at least won't know my name if I am the asshole in this situation. \n\n\nMy husband and I have 2 kids. Because we both work in healthcare there's an increased chance we could both die in the current situation. We decided to update our will and decide our children's guardian. My brother lives in the same city as us with his wife and knows our kids the best of all our close relatives. \n\nI asked him to be our children's guardian if both of us die. \n\nHe replied, \"Whoa, that's a pretty big ask. \" \n\nI said, \" I know. Obviously take some time to think and discuss with Ann. We would definitely be leaving money for the kids' needs, but they know you two the best. If we both die, we don't want them in foster care and we want them to be with thd people that know them best.\"\n\nHe immediately replied he didn't need more time and definitely wouldn't be able to take them. I said ok and stopped the conversation there,  but I was upset. I understand it's a lot to ask, but isn't that what family is for? To back you up when things go seriously wrong?\n\n\nI didn't bring this up again with him. A week ago , he calls me and asks for a significant amount of money. Because of the current situation he and his wife are out of work and they have a lot of loans and other bills to pay. We couldn't give them this amount of money without dipping into our savings.  Normally I would have bit the bullet and after discussing with my husband given  him as much as we could. But now that I know that if things get bad for us, he won't be there to help me, I'm not really motivated to help. He got angry at me and accused me of refusing only because he wouldn't take guardianship of the kids. I told him that now that I know that there may not be any back up if something happens to us, I don't think it's a good idea for us to make ourselves financially unstable too. He hung up and I haven't bothered to call him since. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNow in brothers defense, it is possible he refused for good reasons, like he knows how unstable he and his wife are with money (I am actually facing the same problem with SIL).  But your kids have to come first.  Setting them up with enough money to be safe and secure is where your priorities have to lie.  If your brother is willing to end a relationship just because you wont lend him money one time, then that is on him not you. ######"}
{"prompt":"22F and 24F\n\nBest friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.\n\nShe wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering. \n\nShe would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.\n\nI told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.\n\nShe is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNothing tears friendships apart faster than money. Don't put yourself in a situation where that can easily happen. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15f) am getting tired of my sister (20) constantly stealing my stuff, mostly my art supplies. My supplies was a couple of pallets and paint brushes, I paid for all of these myself, I don’t have a job yet so it’s hard for me to buy new supplies so I use my supplies cautiously. \n\nIt started when I was using my paint supplies on a project that I had to finish. My sister was playing with my niece. I left to go to the bathroom and feed my cat and when I came back, she stole one of my pallets and excessively stacked paint all over it. She was also using my most delicate\/expensive paint brushes. I quickly grabbed the paint brush away and I got pissed off and yelled at her for grabbing my stuff. She quickly tried to make me a bad person for “ruining her bonding time” with her niece (even though she was the one painting and not my niece).\n\nI left to go clean up my brushes and when I came back, she started painting that same pallet on top of my project and let my niece use a sheet of paper to paint. This time, she took out her own box of paints and brushes. She used her own brushes for her and my niece, but continued to use my paints.\n\nI took away my stuff and put them in my box and my sister tried to make me the bad person by saying that “niece just wanted paint” and “I wouldn’t let niece use my stuff”.\nI would have gladly let them paint with my pallets if they just asked, but they didn’t\n\n\nNote: my sister has her own money to be able to buy her own stuff and has 3x more supplies than I do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNothing is worse than someone purposely taking something precious from you when they have plenty of their own. Your sister is just being an entitled mooch and is trying to gaslight you into feeling guilty about it.\n\nShe is trying to play the niece card and it's BS. Ask her why it's so important that the niece use *your* supplies when your sister could just as easily provide her own supplies for this oh-so-important \"bonding\" moment. \n\nAlso, if she keeps this up, go rummaging through her supplies and do the same back. See how she likes that. Tell her that since it's okay for her to use your supplies, it must be okay for you to use hers. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA?\n\nEdit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life\n\nEdit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNot only is he not entitled to forgiveness, but even if you do find a way to forgive him, he is not entitled to any sort of relationship. You have moved on, and he should, too. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything. \n\nI visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something. \n\nI came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was  14 and my brother was 22. \n\nI was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me. \n\nI’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNot gonna lie, if my adult brother hooked up with a kid, I'd have a similar reaction. ######"}
{"prompt":"yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion.\n\ni’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter?\n\ntoday when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”. \n\ni was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s).\n\nso reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNot all women shave their legs and just because your father hasn't met any of them, doesn't make it not true. \n\nAlso, your body. You don't have to do anything with your body that you don't want to. \n\nI'd tell your father that you are aware of his preference but it is your body and you will shave your legs if\/when you choose to and you'd appreciate it if he'd drop the subject. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.\n\nI asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.\n\nSomehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it. \n\nWas I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNot all hairdressers are created equal. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this one surprisingly will be a short post, because if I go to detail I will need at least 20000+ words because I don’t want to give some details and leave out others and also it hurts as fuck to write such a painful story.\n\nBasically my (24f) girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just before quarantine which had spread to almost everywhere and her life expectancy is a year at most, and with her doctors’s help and even after the quarantine we discussed if she would be able to make our travel plan with her condition in around October and the doctor told us there was an 90% chance she could , and we made a perfect plan to make all her checklist and travel dreams come true -which sadly none of which she has yet done-.\n\nBut fast forward and I find her phone and find out that she was cheating for about half a year on Mr and the last time she contacted the affair partner was the day of her diagnosis.\n\nWhen I found out I just confronted her and told her “she deserves this” and left.\n\nShe has been calling me daily ever since and begging to make the travel thing -and it makes me really sad to see her like this but still she was cheating for a year and a half on me-\n\nSo I dropped all the plans with her and when I told her,  she was absolutely crushed and so was I.\n\nThis has been fucking with me ever since.\n\nAITA Reddit?\n\nI’m just so depressed and mentally drained at this point ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNobody deserves cancer but your words were said more out of hurt than malice.\n\nI level with you and think you have a right to be happy regardless of you ex's current condition. She showed how little she cares when she cheated, you have every right to care just that much.\n\nTo top it off, she seems to care more about her travel checklist than you.\n\nShe will be leaving with regrets. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend's sister has opened an online store selling creams, misc hair products\/ jewelry, and prints. I was pretty suspicious of what she is selling as she has a habit of putting the cart before the horse when trying to start up these little businesses of hers (she has a history of creating and abandoning small business ideas). She let me know she orders the cream from a supplier and resells it but claimed to make everything else herself. I've never known her to draw or anything artistic  so I looked into the prints and.. She is simply taking them from another artist online and rebranding it with her name before selling it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this who asked her sister but.. She just denied it and insisted its her original work. The artist online I found has been doing this for a while however and her sister only just started selling her goods... Am I the asshole if I alert the artist? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNo. Not at all. That is someone elses labour she is passing off as her own. She is litrally taking money from that person. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex girlfriend and I officially ended things this January after a long drawn out break. Things had been on the rocks for a while. We were initially FWB but decided to be serious after about 2.5 years of doing so. The transition to serious relationship didn’t go well and she wanted an open relationship. She insisted it was more for me as she has a low sex drive and didn’t like feeling pressured to sleep with me more now that we were exclusive. \n\nShe works as a waitress and everyone knows the situation the world is in right now. While we were a thing i would cover her rent\/phone bill and usually some other things because I’m a dumb ass. \n\nAnyways, she’s baffled I no longer want to help her with her bills given the state of things and her career. \n\nI told her that it is no longer my problem if we are not together. She is accusing me of “forcing” her to prostitute herself to me to pay her bills. I told her if that’s how she saw out relationship then it’s best to stay separated. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNo reason to expect you to keep paying her bills when you're not with her anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it. \n\nSo I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist:\n\n1) I want a male therapist \n\n2) I want an older male, someone over 50\n\nThis is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have \"daddy issues\" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age. \n\nAnyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNo point in therapy if you're uncomfortable with your therapist. ######"}
{"prompt":"Given that we are quarantining together, things are really coming to a head. I (24M) am housemates with “Kelly” (25F). I’ll clarify quickly that there’s no romantic connection, Kelly is a friend of my cousin, and we’ve been housemates since we graduated from college. My friend “Kayla” used to live with us too, but she left in March to quarantine with her family. \n\nNow, on to the issue. Kelly grew up in a single parent household, but her biological dad (who she’s never met) is apparently Palestinian. Her mom is white American. Kelly has always been sensitive, for example she blocked my number and social media when I threw away some moldy vegetables she was trying to sprout in a cup. She tends to blow up, calm down, and apologize a few days later. \n\nI’m a big martial arts fan, and I’ve lately gotten into Krav Maga. I practice in our backyard, and I watch videos on my phone. She said she’s offended by it because she’s Palestinian, and I can’t do it anymore. Usually I’d just go to the gym or something, but I don’t have that option because of the Rona. \n\nWe got into a big fight, and when we run into each other in the house we don’t even talk. I’m also a minority (my parents are from Honduras) and I honestly just think she’s being too sensitive to something that doesn’t matter. I haven’t stopped practicing.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nNo idea why the origin of martial arts would matter. I guess you would be very limited if you were only allowed to use martial arts from Honduras. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah.\n\nSo yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook. \n\nI have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids?\n\nTL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling.\n\nSo reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out?\n\nAlso I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy older kids have left scissors out before, resulting it a younger sibling cutting their hair. \n\nDo you know what I said to the older kids?\n\n“Ugh, guys! You’ve got to remember to put the scissors away when you’re done. They’re dangerous for little kids. “\n\nThen I got the little sibling’s hair cleaned up. Honestly, on the scale of big deals this is like a 3. \n\nShould you have put them away? Of course! But that doesn’t justify his abuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"Husband and I have been struggling financially for a while now. I’ve tried making up a budget that lists our income, expenses, due dates, and balances on credit cards, but he won’t use it. We sold his car to pay off some bills a few months ago, used our tax return to pay off more bills, and I assumed that this stimulus money all went towards bills as well (we have separate bank accounts and I don’t have access to his). Well, today, we got a huge package. I had no idea we ordered anything so I was confused. It was a PS4. He bought a PS4 without even talking to me about it. While I’ve been wanting one for years, they cost so much that I’ve just accepted that I wouldn’t be getting one until they came down in price and we were more stable. I asked him how he paid for it and he said he’d put it on the GameStop credit card (that we had JUST paid off a couple of months ago!). He said it was a combination anniversary gift for me and early birthday present for him. He doesn’t understand why I’m mad because I had said I wanted one. Am I the asshole for being mad that he got it? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy mom has this story she tells me: when I was a toddler she and my dad got into a fight over money, as a way to make up he bought her a ruby necklace. She had to pawn it for groceries and it made her even more mad bc of how plainly he showed that he just didn't get it ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting on behalf of my sister (F15). Like a lot of people, she has a first name and a middle name. For the purposes of this post, let’s say her first name is Chloe and her middle name is Rosa. Both names were chosen by our parents. She likes to be called Chloe, and this is what her friends, teachers, extended family etc call her. However, our mother (F53) refuses to call her Chloe, and instead refers to her as Rosa. Our mother will not explain why she does this, and gets angry or goes silent when asked (usually by myself of another family member) to call Chloe by her first name. Chloe doesn’t like to be called Rosa, and has expressed this to our mother, but to no avail.\n\nChloe doesn’t want to make our mother angry, and feels guilty about asking to be called Chloe as it upsets our mother, so just lets it slide most of the time. I don’t think my sister is the asshole here, but some other opinions would be appreciated, and also opinions on whether we would be assholes if we took this situation further (for instance, if we ignored her every time she refers to Chloe as Rosa, or told her we wouldn’t be helping out around the house until she respects Chloe’s desire to be referred to by her first name?) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy little siblings are twins and have very similar names (think Ned and Teddy) and when they were little we started calling one by his middle name because their teachers and friends had started collectively calling both of them their names equivalent of ‘Neddy’. They’re 14 now and go by their proper names and we all respect it because that’s what they prefer. \n\nIf your mother wanted Chloe to have her middle name as the first name she should have named her that way in the beginning. Now that you are an adult you can change your name to Princess Banana Hammock for all it matters and she should respect that or find herself ignored until she calls you by your proper\/chosen name. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.\n\nI told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.\n\nShe said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.\n\nShe then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).\n\nI told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.\n\nI’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy guess is you hit a sore spot there. It IS unhealthy and wrong of her to manipulate (yes, you're right there imo, she was manipulating him) her husband into giving her footrubs. You calling her out on that made her so uncomfortable she lashed out. You've done nothing wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"So these idiot roommates of mine, both of them, make a point of leaving the door unlocked, despite the shitty neighborhood we live in, because...\n\n- ratchet social etiquette? Who are we to not put our complete trust in the degenerates and\/or drug addled lunatics around us?\n\n- to avoid the degradation and hassle of using their house keys to enter the house?\n\n- attaching your home key to your car key on some sort of ring or keychain is for “lames”?\n\nMy possessions are more exponentially more valuable to me than they are, so essentially in accommodating their hoodrat behavior I would be screwing myself on both ends of the risk\/reward spectrum. \n\nSo fuck that. \n\nWhen they do the dumb shit and they come back to find the door locked and I’m either online gaming or in bed, Im in zero rush to stop what I’m doing to be accommodating. \n\nI subscribe to the philosophy of Family Guy’s Spider-Man: “everbody gets one.”\n\nBut if you’re not family, if I wouldn’t bleed for you, if I don’t owe you shit you will not make habit of inconveniencing me. Period. \n\nDoes that make the asshole?\n\nP.S. for bonus points, one of the roommates is a mother who leaves the door unlocked in the home her daughter frequents. Because that shit’s safe af ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy freshmen year the same thing happened to me, he ended up complaint and I got my own room. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé and I have been together almost six years. He came to the relationship with a very cute but very spoiled cat he has always indulged. The cat has essentially “trained” him to meet his demands by meowing loudly and being a general pest.\n\nI’ve always been good to his (our, really) pet. Feeding him, scooping litter, affection and play, buying him monthly supplies and even contributing to his medical costs. I’m a good cat mom and he tells me so. Believe me, I care about the furry bastard and his well-being.  \n\nSo kitty always has access to food and fresh, clean water and a plethora of other creature comforts. Despite this, he will often meow incessantly around 5am and scratch and knock things over because he decides he wants something. \n\nI always give him more dry before bed and check he has what he needs. Doesn’t matter. Sometimes he’ll chomp through all his food, decide he wants a faucet drink or wants his food bowl shaken or he’ll make our lives hell. \n\nTLDR: I’m sick of dealing with this every night. I’ve never had such a demanding cat and have stopped giving into it all the time. If I know he has what he needs, I’m no longer jumping out of bed to “tend” to him.\n\nI tell my fiancé it’s practice for learning how to ignore a child’s tantrum and honestly, he should have been more mindful when he was a kitten\/young cat not to reinforce this behavior. \n\nHe says ITA but after 30 minutes, the cat finally STFU and he’s sleeping peacefully. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy cat used to do this, but I had enough of missing sleep from being woken up at 3 AM. Eventually, I got a tambourine so when I heard the meowing, I opened my door and shook it\n\nIf you cave, they know it works. They train you. Theyll bother you until you wake up and do what they want. I'll give them what they want during the day, but at night they better leave me be. Now they dont try to wake me up anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my father has drinking problems - he has been getting drunk every day for 10 years. As his drinking got worse, he had to close his small business and now works as a secretary for a smaller wage. Everything he earns goes on alcohol and smoking and so does my mom's money which she gives him to drink. \n\nUntil I have moved out, they have lived entirely on my monthly scholarship which is less than 250 euros and expected me to pay bills and buy them food after wasting their money on this addiction (mom never drinks, but refuses to break up). After I moved out, mom had emotional meltdowns every day. Now that I am jobless, I have to live again with them. Since she had no money to pay the bills, the municipality has threatened to cut the electricity off. It's very unsure whether I will live here for 1 more month or 12 more months. I may pay the bills this month because I need Internet connection to attend college, but can I live this life forever? Can THEY live this life forever, avoiding being responsible humans? I have talked to them several times, but it leads to nothing. They have a very fatalistic view on life and think everything is meant to be this way because it's their destiny.\n\n She thinks the same as most people her age in my country, that children, regardless of age, have to give parents financial aid because they have raised them for so many years. If my parents were jobless I would gladly give them financial aid, but since they work and spend father decides to be an alcoholic and my mom sacrifices her needs for my amazing father, it angers me that they choose to avoid their responsibilities and expect me to be their saviour my entire life. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMy advice: help them pay the bills while your there so no drama happens and so you can keep going to college.\n\nOnce you leave cut help. She can pay the bills if she doesn’t give him the money for booze. She has the power to have a better life. And so does he. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(16m) live with my dad and grandfather. My older brother lived with us until he turned 18 last year and moved it to our moms. My dad and grandfather make me go to bed at 8pm and also take my phone and every electronic regardless if they bought it for me or not. I also do all the daily and weekly house chores(Dishes, mowing the lawn, vacuuming the house, etc) and I’m tired of doing it and having my stuff taken. My dad was upset when my brother moved out because they did the same thing to him until he left and my dad doesn’t want me to move out at 18. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMove out and start living your life as an adult ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex wife and I got divorced because she was cheating on me. We had one child, my daughter who is now 3. We got the divorce finalized in January and she voluntarily gave me full custody.\n\nWe haven’t been in contact since. I didn’t block her because I wasn’t planning on preventing her from being part of my daughters life if she changed her mind. Today she texted me that it would have been nice to hear from me for Mother’s Day. I responded that she’s not really a mother, she just gave birth. She got pissed off and she blocked me. I feel like I perhaps shouldn’t have said that and I went too far, but at the same time she cheated and I don’t really feel bad.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMother’s Day is to celebrate and show appreciation for moms. You’re not wrong. Giving birth doesn’t make you a mother. Actually being a mother is what makes you a mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account.\n\nFor my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good. \n\nSoon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it. \n\nHonestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMOST EMPHATICALLY *NTA!!!!* Never waste your time on ungrateful recipients. They will *never* be happy. Grandma sounds like a piece of work. I'll bet there are a lot of other things she constantly criticizes and she's got everyone under her thumb. Don't cater to her. It'll never end. It'll never be good enough.\n\nJust tell her that you obviously aren't a good enough cook to suit her and that you'll give someone else the opportunity to bake her a cake. ######"}
{"prompt":"I been married to my wonderful wife for about two years. I have a college age daughter and she has two high school age children.\n\nI struggled with addiction throughout my late twenties and early thirties. I did many rehabs and detox centers. This is no secret, many people know about my downward spiral.\n\nI got my life in order and still receive services such as therapy, medication and meetings. I’ve been clean and sober for years and was able to finish college and start a business.\n\nI returned to my hometown and reconnected with my high school love. She is divorced. She knows about my past and she understands. Eventually the ex husband found out we were dating and told her family about me. Her family was not pleased at all. Her ex and her family tried to discourage her from seeing me. He told his children and they refused to live with us when we got married. They would bully my daughter and say horrible things about me. I was disinvited from their high school events and family reunions.\n\n\nMy daughter is very bright and is attending a private Ivy League school. I am paying for her tuition and assisting her with her finances.\n\nMy wives oldest is graduation from school and has her hopes in attending the same university as my daughter. Her grandparents approached me without my wife knowing and asked if I would support my step daughter with tuition. Her father and grandparents say they can’t afford to help her out. They mentioned that “she is my daughter too” and I have an obligation to help since we are all “family”.\n\nI stated that since finances are tight maybe she can start at a community college and for her to get a job to help with expenses. I stated also I can’t help since I’m already paying for my daughter’s school.\n\nHer grandparents were livid. My wife doesn’t know about this. I just don’t feel like shelling out thousands of dollars to get my wive’s family approval. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMixed families are tough business.  Every family is different and whatever your situation.  \n\nYou’ve been married for two years, it’s not like you saw these two girls grow up at step sisters and you were father figure to them since they were babies or young children.\n\nThis is for your wife, her ex husband and her side of the family to solve for.\n\nDoes your wife support your daughters education?  Will her parents provide funds for your daughter?  What are family finance like right now, are you already supporting them majority of the way? ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I are both 29 and his sister is 18. Well we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with our 1 year old and in the same complex his mother lives with his sister. We used to take her to school and most days she would ditch and not go. They baby her so much, she doesn't clean after her self and she doesn't even know how to cook. She has been spending the night because her mother is an alcoholic and she gets hostile and kicks her out. She has a boyfriend that is 21 and is a pain in the ass. He is loud and obnoxious, always trying to show off and very delusional. He is obsessive over her so he is always coming over and stays the night sometimes also. He rides a motorcycle and he parks near our door and always revving his engine being super loud. He doesn't treat her good and I hear them fighting over the phone a lot. They stay all day watching netflix, making a mess, bringing random friends over, and her bf is just fucking annoying (nobody likes him). Two days ago I told them to go somewhere so I can clean the whole apartment and they got butthurt and they haven't came over.\n\nI am pissed cause my bf wants her to move in with us. I am an adult with a child and I want my own place. I need my privacy. I want to be able to get out the shower in a towel and not have her bf there on the couch like he lives there and having to clean up after them cause I know my bf is gonna keep on babying her. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMaybe your boyfriend should clean up after them for a while, so he can put his money where his mouth is. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (30F) and my boyfriend is (32M). He is white and originally from England. I am originally from Mexico. My identity is indigenous Mexican as both sides of my family’a descendants have been in Mexico for a long time. As far as my boyfriend knows, both sides of his family have been in England for centuries with some ancestors coming from Europe but his ancestry is predominantly white European.\n\nAnyway, we’re both working from home and he thought it would be fun to trace his family history. He got really far back and it confirmed what he already knew that his ancestors were white European and cake form other countries to settle in England. He was excited as he got to see where his ancestors came from. \n\nI decided to do the same. I learnt that generations of my family are indigenous Mexicans and that I had some mix from South America. I managed to track one line all the way back to the Inca Empire. I tried to go as far back as I could in my Mexican line to see if maybe it extended to the Maya but it was too far back to succeed. Anyway, I thought it was really cool to learn that some of my ancestors came from the Inca Empire and went to Mexico.\n\nWell, my boyfriend took this information and started explaining European colonisation to me. I told him I already know what it was and why my Incan ancestors came to Mexico. It was presumably because the empire fell. He didn’t listen to me and said that I didn’t understand my family history and where my cultural beginnings came from and basically explained it to me as if I had no idea what he was telling me. I got really irritated and told him “I don’t need you explaining to me about my cultural background. I’m not stupid.”\n\nI walked away in a huff and my boyfriend said he was just trying to help me “understand” my ancestry. He said I was an AH for mildly snapping at him and maybe I could have said things nicer. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMaybe later he can explain to you what it's like to have a period. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (m17) have a fungal infection around inner thigh and genital area. I apply my anti-fungal cream before I fall asleep. Because of lockdown my step-sister's University closed and she (19) moved back in the house. Her Mac's charger broke, and recently she has been using my charger. After having dinner she left her laptop in my room to charge and we watched an episode of Witcher in Netflix together and then I went to bed.\n\nAs usual I started to apply my anti fungal cream around my genital. I usually get erection while rubbing the cream. Suddenly my step-sister walks in(without knocking) and I froze like a deer caught in headlights, with an erection and pants down. My step-sister screamed and my parents came and she told that I made her feel uncomfortable. In my defense I said I was applying anti fungal cream and she should have knocked. Now, my parents want me to apologize to my step-sister and promise that it won't happen again. I have refused to apologize because it was her fault for not respecting my privacy.\n\nSo, AITA for not apologizing to my step-sister when she caught me with an erection and pants down.\n\nPS: sorry in advance if there are any typos, typing from mobile ######","completion":" NTA\n\nMaybe do a passive aggressive apology. “I’m sorry you opened my closed door and walked into my room without knocking and found me applying antifungal cream to my genitals.”\n\nEdited:\n\nWell, this blew up, lol. And my first award! Thank you! ######"}
{"prompt":"It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service  there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks  don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.\n\nHowever there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously  know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish  to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals  with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing  by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a  photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking  away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way\n\nHe then tried to frame it as \"She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment\" The photo was  blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The  manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly  gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.\n\nHe got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the  managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as  well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was  off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced  at a few asses but he wasn't \"Alarming\" according to their experience\n\nI  thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.\n\nAlso I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nManagement made the right call and I'm surprised you even feel the need to ask. This person completely violated you by taking a photograph of you, without your knowledge or consent, in a state of undress. That would get ANYONE barred from a gym, and so it should. You did the right thing by alerting the gym to this predatory behaviour and removing a person who is obviously a threat to other gym members. I'm sorry you went through this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom died when I was 13 years old and \nMy dad remarried when I was 15\nHis new wife and stepsons. Was the boss\nAnything and everything he will do it\nI no longer was his son, or problems \nThey made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything \nI was the outsider  this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always  tell me he   paying for your my college.\n\nI'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank\n\nMy father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son \nYours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call \n\nHe call me every week and wife and in law \nabout me helping him\n\nMy wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad \n\nI tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him \n\nAm i the Asshole ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLots of these replies are about you reaching out to your dad and finding out why he treated you so bad. You know you are just a reminder of your mother. And for that pain your dad avoided and shunned you. \n\nYou have every right to tell him what a jerk he was to you and how badly he treated you and how he is a disgrace to all fathers out there. Hell, to all humans. \n\nTo your wife.. please tell her this isn’t about mending a simple broken fence this was your father systematically treating you less than family. He treated you less than a dirty sock on the side of the road. \n\nYou can contact that hospital and pay on or all of that bill if you want. (Don’t give him the money). I’d cut him off for a long time and explain to your wife that you want not part of him or that family in your life. I mean your step mom never spoke up for you? F her too. \n\nPlease get therapy just to help you and your wife understand how his actions can have repercussions for you later. \n\nGood luck ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary. \n\nBefuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLOL what?! I have two dogs as well and felt silly when someone told me \"Happy Furmother's Day\" - That's a bit much if she was *that* upset with expecting this sort of treatment with owning dogs..... ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.\n\nHe makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50\/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.\n\nWe were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles)  I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, \"Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me.\" And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)\n\nThe thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends\/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.\n\nAITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?\n\n\nTL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLmao you’ve been together for 3 years and he charged you for a few beers? Wtf kind of cheap bs is that ######"}
{"prompt":"so i come from a very traditional muslim family in turkey and since i'm 17 now my family started to put a lot of pressure about getting married bla bla. i'm closeted and my parents are super homophobic and religious. so today randomly the idea of having kids was brought up.\n\ni accidentally told that i won't have any which sent my mom to a breakdown. she started shouting at me cause she won't have grandchildren, calling me selfish. (i didn't talk ab adoption cause she is really against it for some reason?)\n\nwhatever i shouted hat she was the one being selfish and that it's my life &amp; i get to choose what i do (that was the safest thing to say without outing myself) she started crying and called me ungrateful. i was pretty confident that i was right but then my sister (who knows i'm gay) and she told me that i acter irresponsible and hurt her feelings?\n\nso am i the asshole for making my mum cry just by telling her i won't have kids ######","completion":" NTA\n\nListen closely. You didn’t make your mother cry. \n\nHer inability to accept you as an individual who makes different choices than her is what made her cry when you shared part of your valid and wonderful choices for yourself.\n\nYour mother is choosing her traditions and prejudices over the happiness of her own child and using emotional upset as a bargaining tool to manipulate you into behaving how she wishes, at least on the outside.\n\nYou will have to decide how much you want to hold back and not share so you don’t have to deal with family uproar, and how much you want to shine a light and illuminate your family’s dysfunctional emotional behavior. \n\nYou aren’t an asshole for saying or choosing what you like.\n\nBut it might be more diplomatic to say you went to the doctor who said children aren’t possible, if you are really serious about a childfree life, or adopting in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf \"your parents told me to tell you x\" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like \"take out the trash young woman\" or \"go to your room\". \n\n\nHer parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them \" I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that.\" They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLike you said, it's not your job, it's theirs. Her parents are super creepy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happned a few months ago but my brother still wont talk to me about it. Basically here's the story, I moved away for college and obviously school is expensive so like most students I was struggling financially. One of my classmates who I got along with worked at a strip club and told me I should try it out because the money is good and she could recommend me. Fast forward a bit and I'm working at the club, money is great, hours are nice and best of all it's basically paying for my schooling and then some. I ended up telling my brother this one day and he went on to tell our mom that I work as a waitress which is whatever. Except that since then she kept talking about how they should come visit me and stop by the restaurant I work at, my brother kept making up excuses why they shouldn't do that and finally I had enough of playing this game of pretend and just told her. My mom wasn't thrilled but she seems to be more understanding. My brother though was furious with me and basically has not spoken to me since then. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLike Missy Elliot said, “... just stay ahead of the game”. \n\nI’ve known a few strippers (I was a late night cook for years in Vegas). Smart women. You do you. Just stay safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, that’s is a throwaway, the fact I’m gay has nothing to do with the story, English isn’t my native language, and I’m on my phone.\n\nLet’s get to the actual story; and introduce the characters. Salvi is my boyfriend, mom is my mother, dad is my father, Marie is my sister, I’m 20, as is Salvi.\n\nSo, as a child, my mother was hyper-conscious about my weight. It translates into me being on diets from the age of seven. As an early teenager, I struggled with an eating disorder, and the road to recovery has been a messy one. At the age of 18, I decided to move out with my boyfriend, and we lived in our own apartment. Note: my father wasn’t really okay with the diets, but he never opposes my mother, which has causes tensions.\n\nOkay, so my parents house is being sold, so they asked if they can stay at mine until they find a new place, and I agreed. That was two months ago.\n\nLike three days in, my mother started commenting about how I had gained weight, and that I should eat less, and it’s been making me feel worse, and worse, and I’m starting to enter old habits. I’ve tried to tell my mother that I am an adult, I can know what to eat, to no avail.\n\nLast night, after a certain remark, I snapped, and told my mother that she could either stop fucking remarking, or she could leave (and by extension my dad), and it escalated into a huge argument, and they both left to my sister’s.\n\nMy sister called me up to tell me that I was an asshole for how I handled the situation, and that I should apologise, and that my mother just shows love in weird ways.\n\nSalvi will support me either way, but he prefers they don’t come here.\n\nSo Reddit !! AITA for snapping at my mom? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLet me get this straight - you're graciously letting them stay at your place for two months and she's been bitching at you since day 3?\n\nNot only were you right to put her in her place, but I would absolutely would stick with not letting them stay if she continues her toxic behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"when i confronted him about this, he said i was overreacting, and that \"ive changed\" because honestly, i used to think it was funny, and im embarrassed of myself. luckily, ive learned and grew as a person. \n\nand he also defended it by saying \"its not in bad context, and its not hurting anyone\", and i personally think the context doesnt matter. i tried telling him that saying rasict and Homophobic slurs isnt funny and you shouldn't say them, but he said i tried \"pushing my agenda on him\".\n\nso i would just like to know, AITA for confronting him and saying its wrong, or am i overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLeave that group. Don’t be part of that chat group. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old. \n\n\nThe problems: \n-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours. \n\n-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore. \n\n-he lied to me. A lot. \n\n-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up. \n\n-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for. \n\n-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me. \n\nSo we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nLEAVE HIS SORRY ENTITLED BUTT.\n\nThis guy left you for hours after a traumatic birth where you could have died.\n\nHe lies.\n\nHe refuses to watch the kids for you to get a break, while he continuously gets to.\n\nYour baby barely knows him.\n\nIts basically like you are already a single parent anyways.\n\nThis way he will be forced to be a parent and take care of them on his own. ######"}
{"prompt":"Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance  limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs. \n\n Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds).  Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm. \n\n We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything.  Smell from feces is unbearable.\n\nWe filed complaint with Zoning Dept.  Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs.  \n\nAre we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nKeeping the dogs in that condition (\"Smell from feces is unbearable.\") is animal abuse. \n\nYou did the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night I was watching a bad movie with some friends and acquaintances on discord. We were making fun of it and at one point this Arab stereotype popped up on screen. One guy started making racist Muslim jokes directed at me cause I am. I laughed it off and said [don’t care, plus you’re white](https:\/\/youtu.be\/ZboBh58wdFg) suddenly he said “don’t send that shit. It’s fucked up” I asked how and he got mad because he said people always send him that shit online because he’s white. He then went on a stupid rant about straight white dudes get shit on the hardest and blamed for everything. I didn’t feel like arguing so I just said “did someone accidentally put pepper on your boiled chicken sandwich” he then left the call. It’s weird why he got offended when he’s made worse racist jokes in the past about me and I thought it was funny. \n\nWas I the asshole ######","completion":" NTA\n\nKeep sending him white boy memes until his white boy brain explodes. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a throwaway account and bit of backstory here, bare with me...\n\nI do almost all the cooking in the house, no problems at all as I enjoy doing it. Every weekend we align what time we're eating etc, additionally I give them notice just before, I (usually) set the table and more often than not I'll be sitting at the table waiting for my wife and kids to come while the food gets cold.\n\nSometimes they really are just coming from a bath or something, but other times its simply a case of they will start doing something else in the last minute (e.g. jump in the pool just before, start a game etc - this time it was unpacking the dishwasher while dinners on the table) - the usual response is \"it'll only take a minute\"  \nWell yesterday evening everyone turned up late again, I don't say anything - my son barely touches his dinner then asks my wife if he can have corn chips instead. She goes to get him a bowl of chips (again I don't say anything but am noticeably annoyed) She asks whats wrong, and I say it's very similar to turning up late to dinner, it shows a lack of respect (towards me) for taking the time to prepare a meal than not eating &amp;\/or letting it go cold. My daughter was only eating the roast chicken (nothing else) and my wife says that's just as unhealthy - where I return to say that's rubbish.  \nShe then says \"of course you're always right, your opinions always correct etc etc\" where I then turn and say this isn't fair in front of the kids, I angrily get up - leave the table &amp; meal half eaten and haven't spoken to her since.  \nI already know this is being picky, but it bothers me as it feels like a lack of respect - Even if it's not that important, I feel if she knows it bothers me then after so much time she would just prioritize it as its important to me.  \nSo I suppose that's it - AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nJust start cooking for yourself and leave them all to fend for themselves for a while (assuming your son isn’t like 4 and your wife is totally enabling him).\n\nYou’re right, your wife shouldn’t undermine you at dinner either since you cooked. Either way eat what’s made or don’t eat. (Or at least make something yourself) ######"}
{"prompt":"We went over there at least 4 times trying to talk with them in over a year, but the response was always along the lines of “we can make noise from 10 to 10”, and when I asked to keep them in the back so they wouldn’t react to anything that moves, they said “I don’t want to take away their view.” \n\nNow I bought a dog whistle after a year of dealing with two small shrieking dogs that bark at everything. \n\nIt clearly didn’t help, so it was a useless attempt, but I heard a neighbor yell, not them, “you can whistle all you want, it’s not gonna help anyway, they did take the dogs inside though and it stopped. \n\nI really don’t know what to make of this, why did they yell that, I took it in a provocative way, but perhaps it was meant differently. \n\nI know it’s hard to ask opinions on something you didn’t experience, but as a whole, I don’t have a clue what it meant. \n\nI also don’t know who yelled it because it but they were other neighbors visiting the owners of the dog.  (They don’t care about social distancing either) \n\n\nIs that a hostile or an affirmative way of letting me know it won’t do much, it was true, it didn’t. \n\nAm I an asshole for trying to quite the dogs myself this way by buying and using a whistle? (It sure felt that way) \n\nI also yelled at them in the past when I was too frustrated and couldn’t take that as well, but I feel like a knucklehead doing that, I want it to stop, but I don’t want to be a dick either. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nJust because you don’t have to go out of your way to not annoy your neighbors until 10 doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do anything you want all day every day. If it’s obnoxious, it’s obnoxious and you should call the police and file noise complaints anyway. They shouldn’t be leaving their dogs out all day. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother left when I (18F) was 9 years old, seemingly never to be heard from again. I was sad about it of course, but not *too* sad as we never got along. She was very cruel to me, and she very obviously favored my brother (20M). She always took his side when we fought, she always wanted to spend time with him and not me. Basically every memory I have of her is her reprimanding me for something. \n\nShe has recently... resurfaced. After not hearing from her for nine whole years, I got a phone call. She asked if she could see me and I said no.\n\nWell, I ended up telling my brother and he says I'm being unfair and I should give her chance because she was abused by our father and it's not her fault. I don't know if she was abused (never saw anything suspect) but even if she was, that still doesn't excuse the way she treated me, in my opinion. And she owes me an apology at the very least. Truthfully, I just don't want her in my life. Even if she gave me an apology, I don't want to bother with her. She caused me so much pain, I literally grew up thinking she didn't love me. I kind of still think that tbh, I found out she has been sending letters and birthday cards to my brother the entire time, and not me.\n\nSo... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIts your decision. She left, you dont owe her anything just because you share blood. Toxic people are toxic people family or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nsorry if formatting is weird \n\n\n\nSo my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant.\n\nAt that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. \n\nHow we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. \n\n\nI showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well.\n\nWe confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. \n\n\nA few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. \n\nAs for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime.\n\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIts a lot of emotional shock, and whether you should turn someone in?  If the sexes were reversed here there wouldn't even be a question.  They'd want him locked up and the key thrown away. \n\nAs far as your half brother, that's tough, its nothing he did wrong, but its emotional trauma for you.  He's also in shock, the man he though was his father isn't, and his mother is now in jail.  You should see a therapist, but I think cutting off your half brother is a little harsh. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIts a day to celebrate your relationship - if divorced parents can put aside years of rivalry\/abuse\/hatred to be at their kids wedding together, your brother's gf can put aside her petty highschool drama for one day for you ######"}
{"prompt":"So this isn't a big problem but both my mother and brother see me as an ass hole for not sharing my PlayStation with my older brother(22) who used to own his own playstation but sold it when he was stuck for money and every day when wake up he is playing it (shared room) and if I am on it and leave the room for 10minutes or more he goes on it and doesn't even ask not only that but he uses my account instead of his own because he stupidly bought things and won't make his own account because he already bought stuff\n\n     AITA!?? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt’s your PlayStation. It’s up to you to decide if you want to share. He’s an adult if he wants one he can buy one. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a student who was looking to move to a different room\/studio. I found a great place and texted back and forth with the girl who needed to find a new tenant. She told me the room was mine and to send over my info sheet and that the agency would then send me a contract. I sent in my info and qaited for over a week with no response, I kinda concluded that they might have given the contract to someone else.\n\nI look for a new place, found one and signed the contract this Friday. Now the other girl texts me saying it's weird that the agency haven't responded and that she'll swing by their building today. I inform her that I have signed another room since I didn't hear back from the agency. Now her and her sister are acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they now don't have a tenant for next month. I was always taught that before a contract is signed there is no deal but they seem to think I've broken a promise or something. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt’s not your fault or problem that they didn’t follow up, it’s theirs. You’re the client, if they cared they should have ensured you were taken care of. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.\n\nMy older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.\n\nWhile my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.\n\nWhen he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.\n\nMy mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote \" if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it\". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.\n\nMy relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt’s is favoritism and you were right to call it out. At least now you know what to expect from him and you know how willing to help you he really is.\n\nAlso the fact that he let his girlfriend talk to you like that makes him an extra asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for privacy reasons.\n\nMy (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt’s fine for her to still be upset but if she cares for you she should want to celebrate your accomplishments and be happy for you. Her reaction sounds very self centred. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(30M) brother(20M) and our parents always had a horrible relationship. Parents are conservative christians, brother is gay, you get the picture. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him either since I was in university in another country already when he was 10. \n\nThe day he turned 18 he packed his stuff and left without saying a word to them. I talk to him occasionally, but he hasn’t talked to our parents in 2 years. \n\nI’m home now and yesterday was his birthday. Our parents remember it and they started saying that what he did was incredibly wrong, disrespectful, he didn’t love them etc etc. I genuinely asked if they really thought he’d love and respect them after years of them treating him like shit and said that it’s their fault that they don’t have a relationship now. They got mad,Dad blew up, he started yelling and saying that I was talking bullshit and I was being disrespectful too, taking his side. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt’s easy to play the victim until someone reminds you of the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.  \n\n\nSo I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.\n\nI'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's your house and you own all the beds, as well as all the humans.  Pee where tf you want. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is having her high school graduation parade soon instead of the normal graduation due to coronavirus. Our school requires us to wear black under our gowns. She already has a black dress that fits her just fine. I have a black dress that I bought specifically for graduation last year. My sister and my mom want my sister to wear my dress instead of the one she already has. \n\nI suppose it may seem petty but I don’t really want to let her wear it if she already has something to wear and you won’t see the difference under a gown anyway. Normally I let my sister borrow stuff from my closet (she’s even worn a dress I bought for myself for homecoming before I got to wear it). The dress just means a lot to me because my grandma picked it out. I wear it for many special occasions and even interviews- it’s like a lucky dress. I want to be nice because of everything she’s going through because of coronavirus but she has been online shopping this entire pandemic and could have bought her own dress if she didn’t like the one she already has. \n\nPlease advise. Thanks. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's your dress and being sentimental about it isn't a bad thing. You seem to be a caring sister so they should accept the fact that you want to keep this one thing to yourself. If they don't then they're being assholes since you are entitled to not sharing your stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"Took my 4 year old son to the park with my wife and her mum. Son has a little bike that’s his faithful companion everytime we go. He wanted to sit and watch some swans by the lake so we settled down on the grass nearby and left the bike directly behind us to get a closer look at the wildlife. I’m talking a couple of feet at most. \n\nA small girl similar in age to my son who had been sitting with her family (and who had been watching my son and the bike with interest when we came) got up while we weren’t facing her and took the bike. We hadn’t noticed until we turned around- and there she was with her family sat on it. \n\nMy wife immediately said ‘excuse me, can we have our bike back?’ And the family laughed her off saying no no, kids play, kids play. They didn’t speak English very well so maybe they couldn’t pick up on the fact that wife and I were uncomfortable. \n\nMy son obviously started getting upset because as far as he’s concerned someone’s stolen his bike. I asked for the bike back, again they laughed it off. \n\nI finally turned to the girl and told her to get off, she started crying and pushed off the bike and ran to her parent in a small tantrum. \n\nObviously I had to sanitise the handles etc before giving it back to my son because of the climate and the family looked pretty irritated but didn’t say anything. My mother in law however berated both myself and my wife saying we were unbelievably rude and that I was ‘unnecessarily insulting’ the family by sanitising the bike in front of them and that I shouldn’t have taken the bike off the little girl, and ‘in her day’ people knew the meaning of community etc. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's your (and your son's) property and no one else has the right to take it. The little girl's family is being really irresponsible and disrespectful. ######"}
{"prompt":"In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself.  Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me.  Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in.  So I commuted for all 4 years of college.\n\nI worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out.  But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away.  We had to sell our house and move into an apartment.  My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house.\n\nAfter graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer.  Soon as the internship ended, I got a job.  My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home.  \n\nMy mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled. \n\nIt's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out.  I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's time for you to ignore her screaming and crying. ######"}
{"prompt":"Both of my parents have been on an extended visit since. I also have an 18 month old daughter which they want to help look after, which sounded cool at first, but here’s the catch, every morning and throughout the day, they both get completely stoned off their asses and are, what I would consider, WAY too careless with my daughter. From today alone:\n\n-Dad took my daughter downstairs to play, then stopped paying attention and she climbed up the stairs all by herself. We have baby gates on both ends of the steps, so, the gate was left open and she was ignored long enough to make it up 2 flights of steps. \n\n-Mom decided she wanted to cook on the stove and was completely oblivious to my daughter reaching up to the stovetop almost grabbing a hot pan. Luckily I was there and hollered at her before she could. \n\n-Mom was holding my daughter and tried to pass her to my dad, and “something” happened where my daughter kicked over a cup of coffee onto my wife’s Nintendo switch, completely bricking it. They both refused any responsibility and tried to blame the 18 month year old. Their completely baked indifference about ruining my wife’s Switch literally brought her to tears, but that could also be the hormones from her being 7 months pregnant. \n\n-When they went to the down stairs living room, they left the baby gate open, luckily I was paying attention when she swung it open, and stopped her from trying to fall down the steps. \n\nI finally said something just now to my mom about it, when my wife went to the store. I was calm, but very matter of fact and direct. She got super defensive. I tried my absolutely hardest to be chill and not be accusatory, but can tell I still hurt her feelings. I just want my parents to not smoke so much when she’s supposed to be caring after my daughter. I don’t feel like this is an unreasonable demand. AITA?\n\nTLDR: Mom and Dad smoke too much weed and I don’t want them watching my toddler unless they dial it back. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's past time for your parents to leave.  It's better that their feelings are hurt, than for something terrible happen to your wife or children.\n\nSuppose your wife went into premature labor?  They would insist that they be allowed to watch your toddler, and you might be tempted to acquiesce.  Get them out ASAP.\n\nIt's too much stress on your wife to supervise your parents now, and it definitely will be when your other child is born.  They need to leave.  Today. ######"}
{"prompt":"I often go the local park to study\/read a book etc. There’s this apartment complex near the park and people living there have a direct view of the park.  \n\nYesterday I was chillin when this woman who lives in the apartment came up to me. She asked me if I could move to another spot. I asked her why and she said that I was “distracting” her husband. I was confused and at first didn’t even understand what she meant by that. She was SUPER vague but clarified that her husband does “*what men do*” and that I should go somewhere else. \n\nSo at this point I was pretty disgusted. I replied that I wouldn’t move and put my headphones on again. She got very irritated and said that I should respect other people’s wishes and “do the right thing”. Then she said that I come to the park too often and that I should consider other people’s marriage. Apparently she discussed this with other women in the apartment and they agree with her. \n\nI told her that I don’t care about anybody’s marriage and that her husband is probably a porn addict if he can’t handle the sight of a female stranger in public. \n\nWell that clearly pissed her off because she was seething with anger. She said that her husband doesn’t watch porn and called me a “sick, twisted little girl” for even suggesting that. I told her that she was making me really uncomfortable but she was STILL attacking me over the porn addict comment. She kept repeating that he doesn’t watch porn &amp; that he’s not interested in me and not to flatter myself. \n\nAfterwards she left but not before telling me that I will “face consequences” sooner or later. \n\nI told my friend about it and she thinks I’m an AH for accusing the woman’s husband of being a porn addict. She said that it was very disrespectful and that she understands why the woman got so upset. And she added that I shouldn’t upset a crazy person since I can’t predict what she might do.\n\nAm I the AH here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's not your job to cater to creepy men and their insecure wives.\n\nAlso, she's actually more offended at the idea that her husband would ever watch porn than the idea that her husband watches strange women in parks enough for it to be a distraction???\n\nAlso, your friend sucks. ######"}
{"prompt":"English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nMy mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it. \n\nLast year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers. \nTwo years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.\n\nI work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.\n\nWith my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house. \n\n(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)\n\nSo AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's not up to you to get her out of debt, especially as she took a loan out in your name which shes making you pay back. \n\nYou're not her parent. Get free of her as soon as you can or you'll spend your life bailing her out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out.\n\nMe and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other.  Now I want to make a few things clear: \n\n\n1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.)\n\n2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so.\n\n3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind.\n\n\nRecently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter.\n\n\nIt’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill.\n\n I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no\n\nNext time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me”\nI got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy.\n\nI have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's not their job to police your friendship group because they dont like something about it. They can leave, as they are the newbie, not dob you in to the teacher. That is low, and your other friends should cut then out too or at least give them a good talking to. If Alex shows remorse for their actions, then i think you should forgive them, but keep them out if they don't.\n\n It's a lot like people getting angry at a comedian for making a joke about a certain group, even though everyone who was the butt of the joke (the people in the group) found it funny. You can't get offended on behalf of someone unless you know *for a fact* that they are offended too ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend\/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family. \n\nAm the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell? \n\nHad the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago\n\nEdit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion. \n\nAITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me\n\nEdit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's normal to tell your parents when you or your partner gets pregnant. However, since you two had agreed not to tell anyone in this case it was a major betrayal on his part. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...\n\nI have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies. \nI blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.\n\nI told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday. \n\nI got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day. \n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nit's birth \"day\", not birth weekend ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSo  we have a daughter who turned three in January. Personally, I think  she's pretty advanced for her age. She has complex conversations with us  and can even read simple words already. She's now home with us all day  while we work because of recent events. She's definitely getting more screen  time than we would normally allow because we have to work, and she  discovered Scooby-Doo. I bought her the first two seasons of the  original version of the show that began in 1969. (\"Scooby-Doo, Where Are  You?\") At the time, my wife didn't say anything, even during the early  watching. I was pretty excited because this was one of my absolute  favorite shows when I was her age, and it kind of still is.\n\nHowever,  my wife has decided that my daughter is no longer allowed to watch  Scooby-Doo. She is concerned that the scenes are too anxiety-inducing  for a child my daughter's age. I've spoken with my daughter and she  seems to clearly understand the monsters are just pretend people in  costumes as gets revealed at the end of each episode. She hasn't had any  nightmares or anything like that. She's always laughing at Scooby's  antics during the episodes. And she likes to pretend now that she's  Daphne as she goes around the house.\n\nNow  that my wife has said she can't watch Scooby, my daughter is pretty  upset. She loves the show and is constantly begging to watch it now. I  typically present a united front with my wife, and I've been doing so  and not letting her watch the show now. But I have told my daughter that  if she can convince Mommy I'll let her watch the show. I'm having a  tough time reconciling that there's anything wrong with watching  Scooby-Doo and taking ownership for the decision not to let her watch  it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's a TV-G series! I can imagine her banning Courage the Cowardly Dog for some intense horror moments, but Scooby-Doo is harmless. Next, you'll be telling me she lets her watch Spongebob... ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface:\nSo, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it.\n\n\nMy mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, \"I already have one that works.\" I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me. \n\nShe explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it.\n\nTL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt's a logical thing that you first want the goods bought before transferring a chunk of money especially since you've saved for it.\n\nInfo: would she take money from you to set an example as to listen to her? ######"}
{"prompt":"Since getting engaged, my fiancé and I have been struggling to nail down the basics, including the venue and of course, the date. Our families both have pretty busy schedules and finding a date that suited both families and was in the reasonable future has been quite challenging. Fortunately, finally settled on January 30, 2021 (COVID permitting), one of the very few weekends that both our families are available to travel and attend our wedding.\n\nThe only slight conflict with the date is that my grandmother’s birthday is the following Tuesday, on February 2nd. My grandmother lives pretty far from my immediate family and myself, and even when I was growing up we didn’t celebrate her birthday beyond a phone call. However, since the wedding date we picked is so close to her birthday, my mom is insisting that we make our wedding reception a split party between our reception and my grandmother’s birthday party. She wants to have a separate cake for my grandmother beside the wedding cake and everything. I love my grandmother, but our wedding reception will also have my fiancé’s family, our college friends, and work friends in attendance who have never met my grandmother. None of her friends will be there and I feel like it would be weird to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of strangers. Also, not to be self centered, but I kind of want my wedding day to be about me and my fiancé, particularly since we’re the ones paying for the venue, food, and entertainment. I want my grandmother to feel celebrated and loved, but I also want to have my special wedding day.\n\nSo, AITA for telling my mother no and that we should celebrate my grandmother separately? I don’t want to be a bridezilla, so I’m willing to negotiate, but I just feel super weird about it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt would be lovely to have a lunch the following day to celebrate her or even the day before, but your wedding reception that you are paying for is not a free-for-all family event celebration day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles.\n\nWe now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well.\n\nI don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday.\n\nNow he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt was planned to be the two of you and he just invited his girlfriend without asking you ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened pre-Carona, but my sister still brings it up bitterly.\n\nMy sister (f27) and I (m24) had an old high school friends get together last Christmas period. We went to a small high school, so we hung around the same circles back in the day.\n\nI was there with my boyfriend, it was late in the evening, we were all drunk and rowdy and sex jokes were being thrown around, my boyfriend made a joke that implied anal sex. Everyone laughed, except my sister.\n\nShe scowled and said, \"You shouldn't talk about that, it's disgusting.\" \n\nUncomfortable silence.\n\nI laughed put an arm around her and said maybe if she had more \"unconventional\" kinds of sex, maybe she wouldn't have ended up with four kids in her mid-20s.\n\nI admit, it was a bit mean, but it broke the awkward tension so people could laugh and move on from her weird comment.\n\nThe next day she went off at me for saying that. She told our parents and other siblings, removed from the context. She says she won't ask me to babysit anymore since I think so little of her children (who I adore, I love being an uncle.) Overall, I think she's far over-reacted.\n\nAnd it wasn't an unfounded joke. My sister complains about having kids all the time. She wishes she was older to have them. Every pregnancy she breaks down crying. She always talks about missed opportunities etc.\n\nAnd she's extremely \"pro-life\", picketed outside abortion clinics and everything. My parents and family are not at all. She's gone through every pregnancy acting as a martyr, sacrificing her youth and body to do her duty. \nThis annoys the fuck out of me. \n\n\nTL;DR \n\ntold my rude sister that if she had tried anal once in a while she could have avoided having so many unwanted kids ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt was clearly a joke said among friends. She obviously feels some type of way about the way her life turned out and is taking those feelings out on you.\n\nI'm sure she saw the joke as a jab at her, but it's a joke. Even offensive\/true jokes can be funny. Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked\/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job \n\n(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it) \n\nAm I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt sounds, to me, like he planned to have friends over to use your room or is offended that you felt it necessary to lock him out.\n\nThis isn't truly about how the lock looks. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’ve always tried really hard at school and been for the most part an A-\/A student- by no means perfect grades but generally good grades.\n\nMy brother on the other hand straight up doesn’t try at all. He’s really smart so in some classes he gets B+’s (considering how little he tries and the fact that there are large assignments that he neglects to turn in, this is pretty impressive) but there are also many classes that he’s more in the C\/C- range. \n\nMy parents try to force him to do his work and they’ve gotten him tutors and stuff but my brother either refuses to get tutored or doesn’t pay attention, wasting time and money. \n\nThe thing is, now that we’re doing online learning, my parents have basically given up trying to enforce any rules on him whatsoever. \n\nThey still force me to store all of my devices in the kitchen in the night bc “blue light is harmful to sleep” but they don’t care at all that my brother is staying up past 2am playing video games with his friends. \n\nWhere the disagreement comes in is tonight, I was feeling stressed and I wanted to watch Netflix on my computer before bed. \n\nThis started an argument between my mom and I because she was refusing to let me keep my computer in my room *just that once* while at that moment my brother was playing video games with his friends. \n\nMy mom said that it was unreasonable for me to be upset because my brother and I are “going on different paths in life and so she treats us a little differently” which I understand to some extent and am usually very accepting of (this device thing isn’t the only disparity in the way we’re treated it’s just the one relevant to this story) but it just felt like such a blatant double standard that my mom wasn’t giving me this little bit of leeway in something that my brother is allowed to do literally every day. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt sounds like your parents have wrote off your brother in terms of academics and are cutting him a lot more slack because of it. They probably have much higher expectations where you're concerned but not allowing you a bit of slack is extremely unfair. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes. \nShe also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way. \n\nSo am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nit sounds as though she just likes to find things to berate you over, to feel she has some form of “control” ######"}
{"prompt":"I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends. \n\nA lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy. \n\nI’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt seems like your husband isn't grasping that you actually need to work because he's also 'working from home' and doesnt seem to be doing much from your account. He needs to realise that covid-19 isn't a holiday and you still have deadlines ######"}
{"prompt":"I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them! \n\nHowever they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age &amp; gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family! \n\nAITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt may not even be two weeks after you give birth. It might be two days, or even two hours. It can’t even be guaranteed that you’ll be there. It’s absurd that they’ve given you any task. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.\n\nFast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.\n     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything. \n\nWhen she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing. \n\nEver since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.\n\nMy other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt is your father's wishes. Your father gets to decide what he gives to whom whether he's a stepfather, or a bio father. \n\nYour father decided. Respect that and execute his wishes appropriately. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag.\n\nI refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again. \n\nI thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much \"you have your beliefs and I have mine\" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life. \n\nI don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt doesn't matter if you are Muslim or not, you don't want to dress in drag and you shouldn't be bullied, cajoled, pressured or guilted into dressing in drag (or doing anything you are uncomfortable with, for that matter.)\n\nI don't understand your gf.  Is this her idea of a joke?  Is she not comfortable with you being Muslim?  She has gone far beyond any ethical standards here...for a drag show?  What is her problem?\n\nWhile I think drag shows are fun and campy, my husband does not agree and I'd never ask him to accompany me to one, much less dress in drag himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with. \n\nSomeone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day. \n\n((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))\n\nAITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIt all sounds a little fishy to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer.\n\nThis morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible. \n\nYesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1. \n\nThe coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways.\n\nI went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he  starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return. \n\nI apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIs this normal behavior for him? You TOLD him you'd be having coffee with this friend. How could that equate to sneaking around in his mind? ######"}
{"prompt":"Title basically says it all, my mother was in control of my grandfather’s assets after his passing since he left no will, and since he didn’t leave a will she sees no issue in giving her new husband my grandfather’s Harley he specifically stated he wanted me to have. Her new husband doesn’t like me and also has no issue taking this bike but apparently I’m in the wrong for feeling like it should have been given to me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIs there another family member you could talk to that can help you get through to your mom?\n\nThat’s pretty crappy, sorry. \n\nWhat is she saying? I can imagine she may want to have some connection between her late father and new husband. But she should talk to you and explain her point and so on. It’s not cool if she left you feeling like you don’t matter and could be TA here...\n\nI hope you’ve talked to her about her new husband overall, and she’s hopefully taking steps to help y’all build a good relationship. There are tactics and people to help with this stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents divorced when I was 5, my dad remarried almost immediately (like within months after the divorce) and my mom remarried when I was 9 or 10 can't really remember.  My dad's wife had 4 kids who were at the time 7,5, 3 and 2 while I was 5 when we all moved in together.  Now I didn't live full time with them, I was half at my mom's half at their place and they were the same way and were only together for about 2 weeks out of the month.  It was not a good situation when we first moved in, everything from the time the youngest could walk was always a 4v1.  Every vote was always against mine, every argument with 1 became an argument with all 4, and some other stuff that made me really hate going over to my dad's if they were over.  While my mom's husband had a kid my age too I get along with her WAY better than I do the kids at my dad's house.  \n\nI was recently talking with my friend's while I'm at my dad's on the phone, my door was slightly open at the time.  My friend said something like \"I didn't know your brother was on the baseball team\".  I corrected him and reminded him that he is my step brother not my brother and we dropped the conversation and went on with the rest of the day. \n\nWhen I was done though, my dad told me to quit it with the step sibling stuff and to just call them my siblings.  I told him I'm just being literal in what they are, but he is practically forcing me to call them my brother and sisters now.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\ninsofar as you were simply explaining to your friend why one wouldn’t realize you had a brother (of any kind) on the team. Not sure what your dad’s deal is. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband has been rowing on a nearby lake early mornings for about 20 years. This summer he's been going out alone most mornings.  He refuses to wear a PFD bc it interfears with his stroke.  I have never agreed with this but what can I do?  My arguments have failed.  My pleas fall on deaf ears.  So I gave up.  I can not force him to do it.\n\nThis morning he was late returning from his row.   I left to go find him after he was about 20 minutes late for work, an hour later than his usual return time.  By this time my mind was going wild with what ifs thinking he was alone on the water.\n\n My hopes were answered when I saw him and 2 friends walking up the path.  I didn't make a scene, and they all thanked me for checking on them.   He did not apologize, he said he was planning to see them and forgot to tell me.  He was kinda laughing when he said it. Cue the rage boiling deep...\n\nIf I'd known he was with friends I wouldn't have worried. At all.  All my anxiety and fear turned to rage.  When we got home he asked if everything was alright.  I said \" I can't talk about it right now.  I know you have to go to work and I know it's going to turn into a big thing.  All my anxiety and fear have turned to rage and I cant even.\"  His response was \" alright\" and he went upstairs to work.  So now he's acting pouty like a victim because I'm having some kind of reaction.  I can't think straight and would appreciate hearing what level heads think of this.  So reddit, AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nInsist on him wearing a flotation device.  Perhaps get him a device like the ones this company does\n\nhttps:\/\/www.lifejackets.co.uk\/Lifejackets-Automatic.htm ######"}
{"prompt":"I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know. \n\nI've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried. \n\nOnce I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.\n\nI kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her \"I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to\", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.\n\nMy mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIn what world does someone like that possibly get to demand it stay quiet? Especially since once he eventually gets out he's probably going to be on a publicly accessible list anyway.\n\nAnd the type of crime aside, as you've said, this was about your career. It is not fair that you could be held back by his illegal actions, and you deserved to know if that was indeed a risk for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family. \n\nBackground: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother.  \n\nSituation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant.\n\nThe day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them. \n\nAn hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole. \n\nShe called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH. \n\nWas it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIn no way should anyone ever “expect” to have a meal comped, no matter what the relation. The restaurant is a business and not a place for free food. The fact that it was somehow expected and not offered or discussed in anyway screams entitled. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, \"I will ruin your fucking life\". \n\nAfter learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her. \n\nNow that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful. \n\nRecently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again. \n\nFed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent. \n\nShe is gone now. \n\nMy friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIn general you need to be careful leaving guests with your roommate, but adding in the context and you have reason to not want her over at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work. \n\nMy mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call \"B\". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes.  well 5 hours later B came back.\n\nWhen I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said \"my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing\" \n\nMy usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like \"at least he isn't f\\*\\*\\*ing dead in a hospital\" and \"why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead\" and to top it off \"id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now\" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things. \n\nAMTA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIn any way shape or form. Grief is never a competition.\n\nI'll admit his words may not be coming from a rational place, but it's still no excuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother (18M) and I (21M) got into this argument last night and my sister (16F) took his side so I may be the asshole. \n\nMy mom is from Colombia and my dad is a white American with some Irish and German ancestry. My siblings and I grew up in North Carolina around my dad's family but we visited my mom's family every summer for 3 weeks. My mom raised us speaking Spanish so we are all bilingual. My college is about 1 hour away from home. I have an on campus apartment. My brother's school is in Florida and he dorms. I found out that my brother is lying about his race. He says that he never tells people that he's part Latino because he doesn't want to be grouped with them. He says that he tells people he's half Italian and half Irish. He has an Italian first name and an Irish last name and brown hair with tan skin so I guess people buy it. He took Italian in high school so he can speak the language well enough. He even joined an Italian Cultural Club on campus. He said it started as an accident. He plays on the club soccer team and one of the guys (white) said something about there being too many Mexicans on the team. He said it to my brother and another (white) friend. The other friend said, \"Wait, isn't Marco Mexican?\" That is when my brother said he was Italian. \n\nWe aren't Italian though. Not even a little bit. My brother said that he would rather have people think he's Italian than know he's Latino. He said that the girl that he was hooking up with in college even thinks he's Italian. I told him he's an asshole for lying about his race and pretending to be someone he's not, especially since he didn't mind putting Latino on college applications when he knew it may give him a slight advantage. He said that he can be whoever he wants to be. My sister even said that she doesn't see the problem with it and that I was an asshole for even caring. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIm more so interested in how long hes gonna keep this up. Eventually his friends or s.o will meet his family. Im surprised none of them have seen his family on facebook or instagram yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"So since barbershops are closed my son (8yo) hasn't had a hair cut in almost 6 months now.  In my own opinion I like his hair long, I always thought he had straight hair but its starting to curl, and he likes it too. My wife's friend is a barber and told us she's willing to cut both our children's hair for free.  My daughter has really wanted to get her hair cut cause its pretty long and she wants it a bit shorter.  But my son wants to keep his hair, he sometimes complains about hair getting into his eyes but he seems to like it long.  \n\nI am all for letting him grow that sucker out as much as he wants, but my wife says its a mistake cause when he's in the shower the soap can get in his eyes and could burn him.  She also said cause I always get a buzzcut or jarhead look I don't understand the struggles of long hair.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf your son likes it then let him grow out his Quarantine Cut, if he’s asking for one then let him get one, he’s 8 that’s an appropriate age for letting him decide how he likes his hair ######"}
{"prompt":"So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer. \n\nMy mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back.\n\nNow, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister. \n\nShe has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad. \n\nI kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf your sister has a history of destroying or treating her electronics really badly then it makes since not to want a computer she used.\n\n Hopefully she doesnt inflict to much damage, and you can enjoy a relatively new laptop. If she does mess it up, hopefully your parents will notice and im sure they wont be thrilled about replacing a brand new laptop.  \n\nBest case scenario you get the laptop back with almost no damage. Worst case your parents realized their mess up and they have to pay out for another new one. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.\nI live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries\/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.\n\nWhen my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.\n\nMy dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf your mother doesn't leave the house, she has no need for a mask. Your sister, on the other hand, has a definite need for one. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.\n\nBACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.\n\nNow that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.\n\nHe didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.\n\nThey sleep in till 8-9am every day.\n\nNow yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nSo this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.\n\nI told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nHe isn't speaking to me \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you're working 40 hours a week and struggling to walk, in what universe is it remotely fair that you do 50% of the child maintenance?\n\nWhat does he do around the house that matches the effort you put in working and doing things while he sleeps or plays games? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times. \n\nTL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you were just avoiding him for no other reason than that he's gay, you'd be in with a chance in the Asshole Olympics. But this isn't that; his actions are completely out of line, especially those involving him touching you without consent.\n\nIf you don't want to completely cut him out (and you'd be justified in doing so, but I get why you'd want to avoid this since you can't exactly stop being his neighbour without moving house) I would go and see him and make it abundantly clear that you don't mind talking to him or being neighbourly but his flirting, innuendo and especially touching you need to stop. Don't accept any justification or excuses for this; just point out that you do not want him to do any of these things, and that if he persists you'll have no choice but to end contact with him because it makes you uncomfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.\n\n Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.\n\nI’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \\*I\\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.\n\nAt the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you start giving this money to your mother, OP, she will end up taking it all.  It will be nibbled away by her and perhaps other relatives until you have nothing left.\n\nDo the smart thing, OP.  Go to a financial planner.  Perhaps your attorney could make a recommendation.  \n\nA good planner can extend you money for your short term goals, like schooling.  He\/she can tie up the rest of the money so that it is difficult to access.  That will help you tell your mother *No*, which is what she needs to hear. ######"}
{"prompt":"My swimming instructor said I passed all of the requirements for the first part of my course. Then he said the last part of my course required  me to do a practical test at another swimming location the next day. I drove all the way to the new swimming pool about 30 minutes away and went into the swimming centre. I saw my swimming instructor and other swimming classmates. My swimming instructor said “sorry, I forgot that your swimming level (I am doing bronze star) doesn’t require an practical test. The practical test is only for those doing bronze medallion and above.”\nSo me and my family went home.\nThen weeks passed and I still have not received my bronze star certificate in the mail. \n\nI went to the swimming pool and told a staff member I haven’t received my certificate. Then she told me to write my mobile number down so my swimming teacher can contact me. Weeks had passed and I did not get a phone call from the teacher.\n\nI went to the swimming pool one day and happened to see my swimming teacher so I said that I still haven’t received my certificate. He said “that’s not my problem if you haven’t received your certificate”. I’m not the type to argue so I just left it there and came home and told my dad. \n\nMy dad said to email the swimming organisation and say that I haven’t received my certificate. They replied back and basically didn’t believe me. Then i had to reply back explaining the whole story, I even included the part where my teacher said “it’s not my problem”. Then finally the swimming organisation replied back and apologised. I received my certificate about two months late. \n\nThen the following year I had that same swimming teacher again to teach me swimming. He basically ignored me the entire time. AITA for going to great lengths to get my certificate? I mean I did pay around $100 for the course. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you paid and did everything required to get your certificate than you should get it. If he's the one in charge of mailing certificates than it is his problem and if not he still should have helped you regardless. As a customer of his course you pay his salary and he has an obligation towards you and he's not fulfilling it.\n\nAlso if he's completely dismissing you now you should email organisation again, preferably with proof of his misconduct, and either have him show you respect you deserve or get a refund. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.\n\nThis has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.\n\nFast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.\n\nBecause of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!\n\nTL; DR\nMy grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you cut the blanket in half, no one has a functional blanket from grandma. \n\nThat’s obviously a ridiculous King Solomon type solution. \n\nWe don’t even know if your brother is upset about not having a blanket. If he is, you can easily work out a lending schedule. \n\nSorry to hear about her decline, been there, know how tough it can be to watch. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is getting married a year from now and is going crazy on her wedding plans.  She knows I'm only working part-time while going through cancer treatment and am struggling financially.  She's picked out $400 designer bridesmaids dresses for us plus alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. and wants us to buy them right away.  I asked if we could look at very similar, less expensive options and she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you cannot afford what the bridezilla is determined to have, be up front and say, \n\n“Sis, I only work part time and am going through cancer treatments, I don’t even know how long I’ll be able to hold onto the few hours I currently work. I am unable to afford what you envision for your special day. In light of that, while I want to be very involved with your wedding because you are my sister and I love you, I will not be able to be a bridesmaid but I hope to still contribute and be a guest on XYZ date.” ######"}
{"prompt":"A couple things. I am of Indian descent, this means I am an American citizen, but both my parents were born in India. I can’t legally be an Indian citizen because India does not allow dual citizenship. My late grandparents own a lot of land in India, and since my mom and I are both only children, half of their land went to me and half went to my mom. I also recently proposed to my fiancée on our 5 year anniversary. This is why the discussion of what we own came up.\n \nI don’t have the current estimate on my property, but it was worth about 7 crore rupees which is approximately a million dollars. The thing is, I can’t sell the land. I’m not an Indian citizen, so it’s illegal for me to sell that land. I can legally build buildings and be a landlord or a farm that land, but I can in no way sell that land. I also don’t want to use that land for rent or farming since it’s going to be difficult to invest.\n \nI did own the land a couple months before my relationship with my fiancée started, but I didn’t think it was that important to tell her. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf you can’t sell it then technically you aren’t really a millionaire? I mean you could figure out a way to make money off it if you had to but it’s not that accessible to you right now.\n\nI think you should bring it up before marriage tho. Just say what you said here. You own land but can’t really do anything with it as you aren’t an Indian citizen and dealing with buildings would be a hassle.\n\nBut at this point it’s less about money and more it’s just an interesting part of you she may like to know about. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.\n\nMe and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.\n\nAnyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \\[the restaurant\\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.\n\nAm I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf they refuse to cancel the reservation, wish them well as they go without you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (25) works for an art museum and always talks about how little she makes compared to what she perceives to be less important jobs. I (27) work as a lawyer so, due to the nature of our work, most likely make more money than her (though neither of us know each other’s exact salary obviously)\n\nShe was going on again about finance, lawyers, big business, corporations, etc and how much more money “white men” make compared to people like her.\n\nI reminded her we both grew up in the exact same family (fairly privileged) and that we both were fortunate enough to have our parents support us through undergrad. I suggested that if she was that upset with her salary, do what I did, take out a loan and go to grad school to make more money.\n\nAfter going back and forth, she said I make more money than her because I’m a male. I responded that it wasn’t my fault that she chose to major in art and pointed out 50% of my law classmates were women (as are my co-workers). I told her that she chose a passion job over money, which is 100% fine, but that all choices have pros and cons. I basically hate my daily life but make good money. Everybody makes their choices. \n\nShe got really pissed when I told her to “stop playing the gender card” to explain her current finances. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf she was complaining about a man in the same role as her making more or a woman in the same role as you making less, I'd be inclined to believe it's a gender issue. But if you and her both got the same treatment and opportunities from your parents growing up and you picked a career that pays more, that's not a gender issue :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time. \n\nTo try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas\/lentils\/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun\/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer. \n\nMy sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her.\n\nEverything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some \"real food\" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf she wants other food, she can order and pay for it.  No one is forcing her to eat your meals. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.\n\nA high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.\n\nOne thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).\n\nOur friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children. \n\nMy mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.\n\nYes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf she wants money she should apply for government aid or better yet get a job instead of mooching off her friends ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly\n\nShe hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly) \n\nAITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf she doesn't like it she didn't have to move in.\n\nPets are part of the family... ######"}
{"prompt":"English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nMy mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it. \n\nLast year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers. \nTwo years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.\n\nI work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.\n\nWith my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house. \n\n(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)\n\nSo AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf others want your Mom to have money, they can give her their money.  You're doing enough. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI’ll try to keep this simple. I (23M) have been dating (23F) for about 5 months now, and our relationship has been official\/public for most of that time. She is extremely supportive, generous, and I think, a great girlfriend overall. I am not a big social media user, but my she loves Twitter. I don’t have Twitter, but as she spends hours on it everyday, I got curious and decided to look her up. Sort of teasing, I asked what her username was, and she said, “Are you looking me up? Don’t look at my Twitter.” I assumed she was being lighthearted in turn and just teasing. Well, I managed to find her handle and after about 5 minutes she made her account private. \n\nNow, I try not to be sensitive, but I admit I was a little hurt. I didn’t realize she was being so serious about this. I asked her if I was going to see something offensive, she said no. I asked if she was doing things she didn’t want me to see, she said no (which is obviously paradoxical). \n\nHer position is that Twitter is “her space.” I replied that no, it’s actually the most public space you can get, which is why I’m confused that she doesn’t want her BOYFRIEND to see what she’s doing. \n\nWe are at the point in our relationship where we’ve talked about our past. I know she has met\/sexted guys via Twitter. I understand that everyone has a past, and everyone has a right to privacy, but this just feels icky to me. I am still fairly new to the relationship thing, and I am genuinely not trying to have trust issues here, but to me this feels like a red flag. My girlfriend seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing. AITA? Do I just need to chill out? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nif it was private account that she just didn’t feel comfortable sharing yet, I would maybe get it. \n\nBut it is (was until you saw it) a public account so really you’re the only person she doesn’t want seeing it. \n\nKinda sounds like a red flag to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep it short:\n\nMy husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew. \n\nWhen I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf it was me I would have been thrilled to find out on fathers day, especially since you did the right thing and went to confirm with a professional.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI somewhat understand why he would get snippy, but in all honesty, its such a minor thing that it makes him wrong. This should be the happiest moment in your relationship (so far) a 2 day wait shouldnt ruin that ######"}
{"prompt":"With the current world climate the worry of mortality has been brought up in the minds of many including my(20) half-sister sister (32). My half-sister was discussing with me on the phone how difficult it will be to divide everything evenly if our dad passed away (he has health problems so it may happen sooner rather than later). I then nonchalantly mentioned it wouldn't be perfectly even because my mom and our dad have shared finances, assets, etc. so in their will my full-blooded little sister and I would be recieving more than her and my half-brother. She was honestly pretty hurt to hear that and did not think my little sister and I deserved that because my mother has been part of her life since she was 6 and she has two children who are owed something. She is now mad at my mother and our dad. My dad thinks I am TA for saying anything. My mother stands by the decision in their will because while she has been part of my half-siblings lives she has never over stepped boundaries and acted like their mother because they already had a mother who had almost full custody of them. Also, my half-siblings have a mother and step-father who are going to give them stuff when they die. My little sister and I on the other hand will not be recieving inheritance from two households like them. I'm not saying that they will recieve nothing but it will just not be equal to my little sister and I. I just don't know how to feel about it but my dad is very upset with me and I feel really crappy about the whole thing. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf I understand this, you will be getting an inheritance from your mom and dad. She expects to get an inheritance from her mom, her dad, her step-dad, ***and*** your mom. That doesn't seem to add up. \n\nRegardless, the division of the will is up to your mom and dad, and not her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some people at my school signed a contract to rent a club house for prom and decided to go full out (litteraly no specifics from them), the problem is is that they demand 190$ from everyone (150 people) but almost no one paid except the organizers friend's and they almost got sued for not paying.\nI really don't want to go since i don't like a lot of people there, im single and have no interest in anyone in this school and my friends dont plan to go either, AmITheAsshole?( To clarify i did not sigh any contract) ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf I understand this right, someone is essentially demanding that you chip in on an event that you don't wish to actually attend?\n\nDon't pay. They don't have the right to preemptively obligate you to this. Most proms I have heard of sell tickets. If you don't buy all that happens is you can't go. ######"}
{"prompt":"About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time. \n\nAbout two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet. \n\nThe issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice. \n\nHere is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments. \n\nHe also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me. \n\nThis is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house. \n\nWould I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it? \n\nTdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?\n\nEdit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf he's not mature enough to realize that pulling out is not a viable contraceptive method, he's certainly not mature enough to raise a child. You know that you're not ready to be a mother, and you are entirely within your rights to make the decision about what to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m on mobile so I apologize. (22f)\n\nSo (big surprise) I’ve been having a ton of trouble finding a job during COVID. Since I just graduated from college, I’ve been applying everywhere to any job I can think of that’s remote or in my state. I heard back from a few but nothing was working out. \n\nThen, a few days ago I heard from this one company that claimed to be a big financial firm. I agreed to a phone interview and they sent me a few videos about the history of the company and the set up and compensation and etc. I watched them when they were sent to me so about 6 hours before my interview. \n\nThe guy called me and we started talking. Right away he’s condescending, saying things like “I didn’t girls even understood economics” (I was an econ major). He then took to quizzing me on these two videos. I mean full on test format. When I couldn’t remember the exact year the company was founded and the names of all the founders, he said “yeah I’m just trying to figure out if you even watched our videos or if you were off wasting your time”. Between this and his blatant sexism, I couldn’t take it. I just hung up. \n\nMy friends think I’m TA here because a job is a job no matter how miserable. I think I made the right choice. After all, I don’t want to work somewhere with THIS being the first impression. Plus I rewatched one of the videos and this is 100% an MLM. \nBut still, I feel a little bad. So Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf he was this unprofessional in the interview when he is supposed to be practically trying to court you to come work there, fuck knows how bad he would be once you were actually working there.\n\nBig red flags and you were right to drop it right then and there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.\n\nWhen I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.\n\n15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.\n\nI snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson” \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf he put them away to keep them safe that would be one thing. But \"teaching people lessons\" is reserved for parents and teachers, and only when they're actually teaching not scaring ######"}
{"prompt":"I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.  \n\nI work at a welding shop in the midwest.  It's hot, I sweat.  The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.  \n\nThe last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.  \n\nSo I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here.  I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk.  Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.\n\nWork is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts.  I come in, the damn thing is near empty.  Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.\n\nI've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek.  The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf enough of you don't like the company TP, they should raise a stink with management and get the good stuff for everyone.\n\nObviously, you don't owe them your own TP, so there's no way you can be TA here. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (28f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. Shortly before we got married, we purchased our home. \n\nWe’re at a point now where we’d like to start trying for children. My husband’s father has a rare genetic disease that is similar to Parkinson’s. He’s wheelchair-bound and has little control of his movements. \n\nMy husband and his sibling both have a 50% of having inherited this disease from their father. It’s an awful disease and I hate watching my FIL struggle. My husband and his sibling were recently talking about going for testing to determine if they’ve inherited the disease. My husband is nervous because he doesn’t want to find out if he has it or not. \n\nI’m scared of this disease being passed along to my children. Obviously I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I’d like for us to know and that way, if he does have it, we can explore our options. \n\nThe other day, he wanted to have a serious conversation about us beginning to try for children. I was open and honest and said that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of having children just yet and I’d like for him to get tested for the disease along with his sibling. \n\nHe got very defensive and said that I’m being selfish. He accused me of not wanting to have a family with him, of being ashamed of his family (the disease is caused by generations of in-breeding, low population density of where is parents are from). I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, I just want to ensure that our future children will be healthy. \n\nAITA for wanting him to get tested before we have children?\n\nTL;DR my husband’s father has a rare genetic diseases that my husband has a 50% chance of having inherited. I don’t want us to start trying for children until my husband gets tested for the disease. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf anyone’s being selfish, it’s him. He really doesn’t care if he has a possibility of passing on a genetic disease that could literally ruin his potential child’s life? All because he just doesn’t want to know? \n\nIt’s not about him. It’s about the children you could have and he needs to understand that. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA: for getting frustrated with my MIL and now SIL just stopping bye whenever they feel like it.\n\nSo I am going to start off I generally like my MIL... My husband and I live in a small town and MIL lives 2 minutes away. SIL is currently long visit and is staying with the in-laws. We have had issues with her just showing up since we have been together (3 and half years now). Husband has tried to talk to MIL but it keep happening. \n\nThis week they tried to stopped by without calling while husband and I were having “some couple time.” Dog was barking but we didn’t hear anything. After we were done I had missed call from SIL. She said they dropped by and asked what we were doing ... I lied. Husband was upset. This was not the first time MIL has knocked on the door while we were doing the act. \n\nToday, SIL calls husband ... he ignores it because he is playing a game. I have the front door open so the dog can lay on the chair and watch the street (she is a chihuahua). She starts barking more than usual. I go to look out and step out of the house. There I see my MIL and SIL coming up to my door. I told them, “So you call husband and when doesn’t answer you just come over?” \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf a discussion with them hasn’t worked, it’s easily fixed another way.\n\nTrain them like toddlers.  Tell them point blank that you will no longer be answering the door unless you have prearranged plans.  And then stick to it consistently.  After they try it enough times, they won’t bother.  No one likes to knock and know they are being purposely ignored.  It’s humiliating and most people tend to avoid it. ######"}
{"prompt":"These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)\n\nMy mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9\/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9\/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nIf a babysitter did the same, you wouldn't call her back. While you probably should allow some bonding time between them, I myself wouldn't do that unsupervised. ######"}
{"prompt":"AMITA\n\nThis might be a long post, so bear with me. \n\n\n\nSo my step dad works remotely due to COVID, but because of the significance of his position, he has to go into work Monday and Tuesday. I work 6 days a week, I'm up by 5:30 and out by 6:15ish, he's meant to be out at the same time. \n\nThe first time my mom asked me to wake him up, I went with it, thinking nothing of it. Then, the next week, she didn't ask me to wake him, so I didn't. I got a passive aggressive phone call from her later that day saying that he was late for work since I didn't wake him.\n\n I asked her why he needed someone to wake him up, she says he sleeps over his alarm. As a 62 year old man, and having such an important job, one would think he would get himself out of bed to get to work, but apparently not. \n\nI've known people that say they set multiple alarms, and still manage to sleep over them. I myself don't get it. I kinda feel like it's the person's responsibility to wake themselves up for work. I don't like being woken up by anything but my alarm clock, myself. \n\nI recently started leaving the house earlier, so I wouldn't be obligated to wake up a grown man so he can make it to work on time. \n\nAMITA for not wanting to be responsible for a grown ass man? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI’m with you on this. Imo, the only reason the alarms don’t work is because he *knows* someone will wake him up. Let him be late to work if he can’t be responsible enough to wake himself up ######"}
{"prompt":"So we’ve been dating for a couple months now. She lives by herself and I’m with roomies but I’m moving into my new 1bed place in July. Whenever we’re at her place she keeps her feet on and walks around which at first flabbergasted me but it’s her place so I never said anything. I always joked that I’d never let her into my place if she won’t take her shoes off and she shrugged and said whatever. So now that I’m preparing to get my own place, the issue has come up again and again and each time she seems to brush it off. I know this might seem silly to stress about but honestly I think it’s disgusting if you walk around outside and step on dirt and dust and lots of other nasty stuff then spread it all over my floor and my god damn carpet.\n\nSo I decided to sit down with her and make it clear to her that I wouldn’t accept this kind of thing in my apartment. I didn’t phrase it that way to her, the way I said it was more along the lines of “I know we’ve been over this several times but it just seems that we can’t come to an agreement so I’d appreciate it if you kept your shoes off when you’re walking around in my apartment”. She totally took it the wrong way, she said that’s what she’s used to where she’s from (we’re in Canada and she’s American....do Americans not take their shoes off in the house????? I’m so confused) and that I’m trying to change her so soon and that’s a red flag. I didn’t budge and said that if she doesn’t take it off then she won’t be allowed in my place. And she just up and left without saying a word. Where did I go wrong.......am I really being unreasonable? I don’t think I am lol ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI’m American (white\/midwestern roots) and my family and all my friends wear shoes in the house. I dated an international student and can’t stand the shoes in the house anymore. It makes the floors dirtier faster and I like being barefoot without getting my feet all grimy (and then my sheets too). You’re allowed to have that preference for your home.\n\nHouse slippers were suggested by someone else and that’s a great compromise. If she can’t accept that, and insists on wearing her shoes inside, she’s just lazy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for obvious reasons \n\nIn January when my sister (22) found out she's pregnant, the father isn't in the picture and she is currently single. She lives a state away and my (F16) parents have always treated us much different. \n\nI have nothing against my sister, she's great and I love her but after she left the house a few years back it's almost like my parents forgot they still had another kid to raise. I always felt like my wants and needs were put in the back burner, they were always too tired or too busy for me or any of my accomplishments. For example I got a piece of artwork sent to our state capitol for display and the only thing I got from my parents was a dismissive \"that's cool.\" I always felt like they had my sister so my mom could have a girl and had me so my dad could have a boy, which obviously didn't work out. \n\nCut to today and my parents are constantly swooning over how they can't wait to be grandparents. They buy huge gifts and make homemade clothes and furniture just for the baby. In my mind it's just my dad's second chance for a boy so they're going all out. I have never felt so unwanted in my life. Some examples of this include: \n\nmy dad saying he's gonna give the kid the pickup once they can drive (the pickup that was supposed to be mine)  My dad framing a bunch of my great-uncle's records to give to the kid (ones that are bands *I* enjoy) my mom constantly making stuff for the baby meanwhile she promised me a blanket and a hat. Plus many more\n\nI just feel like I don't even matter anymore, all they talk about is the baby and my sister lives an hour away! I get their excited but still. This all came to a head tonight when I asked for help on my math homework and they just ignored me. It feels like there's just a little voice in the back of my head telling me maybe if I get knocked up they'd care about me too. \n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI'm sorry you're stuck in this situation. Have your talked to your sister about this behavior from your parents?\n\nWhat are your options looking like for moving out at 18? ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.\n\nWhen lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.\n\nI thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long. \n\nI'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI'm hoping this is just pandemic induced grouchiness, combined with apparently being single (widowed\/divorced?) during a difficult time, which probably hits home a little more when she sees the two of you together.\n\nI'm not giving her a free pass for it, that is why she is definitely the AH, but hopefully this is out of character for her?\n\nBut in no way is you being in a happy loving relationship a problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"Here’s the background. My son “Danny” has been dating a girl for about six months. “Tracy” is in the same grade at a different school nearby. Additionally, Tracy’s mom “Susan” is a teacher in yet another school all these are in the same district. \nI guess Susan got curious about Danny and his grades. So she contacted someone she knows at Danny’s school to pull up his grades. She then proceeded to tell Tracy she can no longer see Danny because his grades didn’t meet her standards. \nI’m so mad right now. I feel she had absolutely no business looking up my sons information. She had no legitimate reason to do so.  \nI fired off emails to the principals of Susan’s school and my son’s school. I also copied the superintendent. \nI was venting to my sister about it and she said I went over the top and should have just let it go. I’m floored and just don’t understand.  This has to be a violation of privacy or something.  \nSo AITA?  I fail to see where I am wrong here.  Maybe I should have waited. I don’t know.  I got so mad so fast. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI'm fairly certain that's illegal. You have every right to protect your child and his privacy. You weren't over the top in any way. That poor girl, having to deal with that as a mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped. \n\nAm I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######","completion":" Nta\n\nI'd honestly lose my shit if I was in your shoes, that would be annoying. Dudes gotta respect the shared bedroom, supposed to be a relaxing space. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my wife (Jessica) have been together for 6 years now married for 1. However throughout that time my MIL (Julia) has always been a little on the distrustful side when it comes to me. For reference my wife is full German and I am a Puerto Rican.\n\nIt started off small so I never really cared, comments like “So Jessica how does it feel to have a taste of brown sugar?” Or one day she made some tacos for everyone and said “I hope I made them just like your mom does!” For those who don’t know tacos are a Mexican dish not a Puerto Rican dish. But none of those comments bothered me because the tacos tasted good and she tried, I get that she’s older and whatnot and she always seemed to be happy to see me so whatever.\n\nBut then I proposed to my fiancé and things started to get really weird. Like I’m talking “Oh no now our bloodline isn’t gonna be pure!” She said that as a joke but still really really weird right, but still I but my tongue cause her husband hasn’t said anything and also the entire family seems to love me and Julia actually started to try and learn Spanish.\n\nBut then me and Jessica buy a house and move in and Julia was giving Jessica some first house buying advice. Except I overhear her say, “Now you know how those people are ok their families are really close, so if they come to move in out of nowhere you have to fight to keep them out this is your space.” So I said, “Well my family isn’t a bunch of animals so how about you please leave we have a bunch of unpacking to do and in the meantime you can go to hell.” \n\nNeedless to say Julia is a total mess and went into a screaming match where “She knew i wasn’t the one for my daughter because she could sense there was something wrong with me.” I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing but now when Julia slammed the door behind her my wife turned to me and said “I get that was messed up but did you have to say that go to hell part asshole.” But seriously dealing with casual racism is enough, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI would seriously talk with your fiance about this issue. Her mother is racist, and treating you like garbage. Your fiance has to put her family in check for their behavior because it's going to be an issue for the rest of your life\/marriage. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today is my birthday and I’m sitting at home while my husband is drunk and passed out in his car somewhere. Not only has he ruined every single birthday of mine since we have been together, he ruined our sons first birthday when he chose to get drunk and not show up to the place we had agreed upon. \n\nAnyways, his birthday is in less than two weeks and I had planned on taking him out on a boat and giving him this portrait I made of our son, but now I’m thinking about taking our son to a nearby hotel to spend the day there while my husband spends the day completely alone. So, would I be an asshole? I feel like an asshole for even thinking about it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI was hoping you were saying you were going to take your son and NEVER COME BACK. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I used to babysit for a old high school friend and loved working for them they had two kids a little girl who just turned two and a boy who was 8. They were very well behaved kids and I really enjoyed watching them. The mom had asked me to come to the girls 2nd birthday party and I said yes without hesitation and really looked forward to the food the dad said was gonna be there. Well the day comes and I'm told to be there at 1 and I showed up and no one was there yet and nothing had been set up and when I asked if I got the time wrong the mom said \"no your right in time to start setting things up\" and started pointing to all the boxes of decorations.  At first I thought that maybe she had asked for help and I didn't hear it so I put my gift I got her down and grabbed a box and started setting up. The dad eventually starts the grill and I'm thinking that ok they gonna start helping but no they come and tell me that they going to get ready and to keep an eye on the baby. \n\nI didn't know what was going on but I was starting to figure it out slowly and when guests start showing up  they finally come out of their room and get drinks and snacks ready and when one of their guest asked where do they set the gifts down the mom who was holding the two year old walks over to me hands me the child and said I've had plenty of time to set up and can watch the baby while she fixes everything I messed up (apparently the gifts were supposed to go on a table that I didn't have time to set up).\n\nI set the child down and grabbed my bag and walked out. Within 10 minutes my phone was blowing up asking where I went and calling me a asshole for leaving and it's my fault the baby got into some of the gifts cause I left and so on. I seriously thought they invited me cause I was apart of their lives and they wanted me to be a guest. I don't think I was a asshole for leaving but I've got about 20 text saying otherwise. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI was expecting this story to go differently and you to be thinking you'd be paid for being a guest at a party. But nope, these parents are TAs. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies. \n\nMy friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine. \n\nSo one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.”\n\nMy friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!”\n\nHonestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.”\n\nAfter I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat. \n\nSo yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog. \n\nTl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI was attacked in an restaurant by a so called \"service animal\".\n\nI was too focused on my food, that I didn't notice the young 20ish couple that came in with their medium sized dog (not sure the breed). No leash either.\n\nI'm enjoying my steak, when I hear a whine. Here's this dog with a SA vest standing next me me begging for my food...\n\nI start asking who's dog is this? No answer. I go back to eating, I'm about to take a bit of my steak and the dog bit my hand. Trying to get my food. I screamed, the dog is clamped down on my hand. I hate to say, I punched the dog. (It was a reflex, I love animals) \n\nNow the owners come running up claiming I attacked their service animal and how their going to sue me blah blah...\n\nI ended up with 26 stitches and I sued them for damages. ######"}
{"prompt":"So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).\n\nSo I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).\n\nSo my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.\n\nThat's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual \" I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry\" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said  \"sure\" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said \" I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?\" and she lit up thinking she could win again.\n\nLong story short I beat her 40-2\n\nShe ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo Reddit AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI understand she’s younger and all, but yet again you played the game and you won it, there is nothing wrong here. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things it symbolizes, but I personally find it gaudy and impractical to wear because of its size. \n\nI didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wearing something so expensive and important every day, aside from the fact that I don’t really like how it looks. But at the same time I felt like it’s kind of wrong not to wear an engagement ring when I’m engaged, like how it feels kind of wrong when a married guy doesn’t wear his wedding ring on a regular basis. So I asked my fiancé if he could get me another ring, a simpler one. I told him that he doesn’t need to follow the three months salary ‘rule’ or anything like that. All I would like is a ring with a small solitaire stone that I can wear everyday as a symbol of our engagement. \n\nMy fiancé seemed disappointed at my request and said that I should try to wear the ring for a few weeks first because it might grow on me. When I told him that I’m worried about the risk that I would lose it someway, he said that if I take care of it, I won’t lose it. I don’t agree with the things he said and I think it’s not fair that I’m expected to just endure my discomfort about my own engagement ring for the sake of pleasing people who are not the ones who have to wear the ring. At this point I kind of just want to buy myself an ‘everyday’ ring that I can wear as a symbol of my engagement. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nI too was proposed to with an heirloom ring and it is stunning and gorgeous and full of history and worth a bloody fortune. So my now husband bought me a simple solitaire that I wear day to day and then I wear the heirloom ring for special occasions. I was so terrified of damaging it! ######"}
{"prompt":"To get right down to it, my family is descended from Robert E. Lee. We don’t have the last name anymore, but if you have kids, it’s just a given in my family that one of them has to have Lee incorporated in there somewhere. Every year in June we have the “Lee family reunion” that I personally haven’t attended for years. I’m a girl, but I’m the firstborn of my siblings so my first name has Lee in it. I now have two kids of my own, a two year old and a five month old. Both of them are boys, neither of them have Lee anywhere close to their name. I love my family, but to be honest several of them are insanely racist and I just made the decision that I didn’t want to carry on the name or have my kids be any part of their bullshit. Who cares about some dead guy who lost his fight anyways. I’m convinced no one in my family actually cares about the “heritage” or ol’ Rob himself at all, he just happens to be famous so my family is a slut for the name. Obviously it’s been a bit of a hot topic recently. We have a “Lee family reunion” Facebook page, and the elders have been a bit snippy about the name not being carried on lately. Apparently a lot of people think it’s a really big deal and that all the attention shouldn’t be focused on the actions, but the “family” and the “heritage”. AITA for not continuing the tradition? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI too am related to Lee. Not a descendant, but he was the cousin to one of my ancestors. \n\nYou're not an asshole for not carrying on the tradition.  And obviously Robert E. is not one that is great to glorify.  \n\nThat having been said, if you are interested, the family history surrounding that Lee branch is fascinating. The line can be traced back to England a thousand years and to some historic figures who (I think) are far more interesting than Lee himself.  Lots of good info out there! ######"}
{"prompt":"I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI think you should start saying no. I think you're going to cause yourself a lot of trouble and the future, but not making boundary while the baby is still a little. \n\nThere is absolutely nothing wrong with telling someone that if they don't call you're not going to let them in the house. Your mother-in-law might be an absolutely lovely woman, but she is showing a lot of selfish qualities bad-mouthing you to members of the family. And I think once someone starts throwing a s*** fit about normal boundaries, the boundaries get thicker.\n\nI think you simply need to say that as a new mother you're trying to get the baby on a feeding and sleeping schedule, you don't have a lot of time to sleep, so you need her to text you if she wants to come over and you will tell her if it's okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my ex fiancé were planning on getting married next week with only 20 people (corona has died down dont attack me). Well last month my brother passed away in a car accident where he got rammed by a drunk driver and both fell into the lake. This hurt me alot as we were close and he hit 6 months sober and we were proud. Well after that i wanted to honor my brother by wearing his favorite suit(we both are 6'2 and both about 180-190). Its a silky white suit and it fits me almost perfectly with only the wrist being a little tight. I had tild everyone and people were fine but my in laws and ex.They got upset saying im honoring a drug addict and i shouldn't be mourning someone who was bad. They also said its not a traditional black suit and i shouldn't wear it. Ex said i shouldnt mourn a death during a our wedding. I got pissed as i dont like people disrespecting my brother especially if he is DEAD. So i say  its not your wedding to my inlaws and Ex saying its not just about me and i have to be fair. I tell her i am as i let her wear what she wanted. She gets mad ands says that she doesn't want me wearing a suit of a man who did drugs,and wasn't Catholic (he was agnostic) there for he isnt part of god. This pissed me off an i said you know what the wedding is over. She then said fine i never wanted to marry into a family of drug addicts any way(my brother was the only one who did it). And i said thats it were done and broke up with her. \n\nThis was 2 days ago and im still getting messaged and harased about me \"ruining\" her day and i wonder if i went too far. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI think you dodged a bullet there ######"}
{"prompt":"So every wednesday I Hoover\/wash the floors in my house (I'm 14M)\n\nI like to leave my dog outside while I'm washing the floors because he has a habit of \"leaving feces\" on the wet floor. Dont know why he does it.\n\nWe have a neighbouring family directly across the street from us and the eldest child has autism (not sure what type, but I know he cant bare loud or high pitched noises)\n\nSo today when I let my dog out for approx 20 minutes while I washed the floor, he began to bark after about 10ish minutes, not sure why because he never usually barks but he decided to do that today.\n\nSo i wash the floors, let the dog back in and I began to put the hoover\/mop back in the cupboard when I hear a knock on my door and to my surprise the police are at the door, so I open it and I'm informed that the neighbour called the cops because of my dog, I basically apologise and the cop scolds me because apparently \" I made the neighbours son have a mental breakdown because I refused to take care of my dog\"\n\nAfter the cop leaves I'm just left flabbergasted, because I doubt my dog barking for 10ish minutes forced her son to have a mental breakdown, even though there house is a good 150 feet from our back garden.\n\nSo I'm sat on the sofa thinking if putting my dog outside was an a-hole move or not, but I'll let you judge that.\n\nSo reddit, was I the A-Hole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI sympathize with your neighbours struggles, but they aren't your problem. You weren't refusing to take care of your dog, you doing the responsible thing to avoid stressing him out while you do your chores. ######"}
{"prompt":"So in the UK the minimum hourly wage is based on age. For an 18-21 year old, me, it’s £6.45 however for a 25+ it’s around £8.50. \n\nBecause of this low wage and working 30 hours (26.5 with breaks) a week at a crappy minimum wage retail job I only make about £170 a week. £680 a month. £8,160 a year. That doesn’t take into account being sent home early, unpaid sick days ect ect. So I’m about £4,000 short annually to pay taxes. \n\nTwo weeks ago my boss was complaining that taxes were going to be going up because the government is paying out furloughs. She asked me what I thought about paying more tax next year and I said:\n\n“I don’t earn enough to pay taxes, so it won’t really be my problem.” \n\nShe stood there confused and said:\n\n“Oh but you’ll be paying taxes some day.”\n\nSo I quickly replied with:\n“If I keep this job and the same hours I won’t be paying taxes for the next 7 years because I earn that little at this job. I’m not complaining about not paying taxes but it just shows how little this job pays me.\n\nMy boss stood there god smacked, gritting her teeth at me, and didn’t know what to say. \n\nA week later, last Saturday, I got called into the managers office where I was confronted by my manager, the assistant manager and the operations director of the company. To which I was verbally ganged up on by the three of them. All because I offended my manager by complaining about how little I get paid and that I should be great full to even have a job in the first place. I just sat there and took it for half an hour. \n\nEventually I got fed up of this and walked out of the shop and my shift. \n\nSo AITA here? I know I talked back to my manager ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI still remember at one of my first jobs when the boss was complaining about how he had to pay $20k in federal taxes.  He wasn't thrilled when I said \"must be nice!  I don't even **earn** that much here\".  Nothing came of it, though.  There were maybe 5 other employees there who also chimed in like me... and his whole point was basically to rub our poverty in our faces anyway.  (Fuck you, Charles.) ######"}
{"prompt":"I(25f) recently had a child and my husband(29m) didn’t show up until about an hour after I had given birth.\n\nI asked why he took so long to get here and he told me he had to help his friend clean their garage and that he planned to be here after it was done. I got furious at him for prioritizing someone’s clean garage over his wife going into labor.\n\nHe says that he doesn’t see it as a big deal and says that he feels like he shouldn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I was really hurt by that comment and I’m not sure if I should have been mad. AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI sincerely hope this isn’t real, because your husband sounds like a prick.\n\nETA: That you’re most definitely NTA. And you deserve so, so much better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.\n\nSo this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.\n\nA month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.\n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI really hope that you don't have to go home to India for the holidays or in the foreseeable future. \n\nIt could be dangerous for you. \n\nhttps:\/\/karmanirvana.org.uk has already been mentioned here, they do amazing work. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care  and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her  life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI really don't think there's any further explanation needed for that.\n\nPlease do not let your wife try to 'fix her' ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody.\n\nFast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday.\n\nJob would be simple and anybody could do it from home. \n\nThat weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down. \n\nThe next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday. \n\nMonday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days.\n\nI called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me.\n\nAm I the asshole for making this choice? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI mean, she told you she couldn't work certain days\/times and over that time is when the help is needed. If you want a possible future permanent job from this company you have to come across as good and reliable, if someone you bring along to this job can't work and has to dip out that looks bad on you and could ruin any possible future dealings with them. Explain that to your gf and say if it comes up again and she is free to work the entire length of the job then you will bring her along, but that was not the case this time. ######"}
{"prompt":"In have this new coworker, 22F.  She has been here less than a year and comes with a limited amount of experience.  Nonetheless she is a very Type-A coworker and has identified herself a future manager.  As such she is very directive in talking and often points at people when addressing them, snaps her fingers when requesting information or asking\/telling someone to do a job.  We all take turns in the position of “workload supervisor” and she is a little overbearing when it’s her turn.  \n\nA while ago I told her immediately after a finger snapping incident (she was requesting information and was snapping to get my attention and  was quite persistent) that she needs to stop.  She sort of agreed but really just defended her actions as she said she just wants to make sure things are done right. I told her no, never again, it’s disrespectful.  I have since told her on 2 more separate occasions to stop.  She persists. \n\nAITA for wanting to make her stop snapping?  (Hey, flipnsip. *snap* I need this done. *snap* *snap* Now. ** )\n\nFor the record, manager is aware of her type-a leanings and just believes that is how she is.  Most coworkers hope she grows up and stops.  They find her irritating and immature but hope she is either going to improve or go on maternity leave.  At no point is her work anything other than average no matter her own perceived level of importance. I honestly try to avoid her but cannot stand the *snapping*. Not at me or any other coworker. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI know it would be very very rude, but you might have to start snapping your fingers back at her to get your point across. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nI recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms.\n \nI didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise.\n \nWhen I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized.\n \nI just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI have many questions, however... ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few months back my cat Figaro had been acting a little strange, like not eating and just sitting there not doing anything, and I (12M) immediately told my mom that we should get him to the vet, so that’s what we did.\n\nNow mind you Figaro is\/was 9 at the time, so he had quite a few more years in him, and at the vet the doctor checked him out and he said the only real issue was that he basically was constipated and just needed a few days for it all to get flushed out. \n\nCome next week he’s still not eating and my whole family is sort of panicking, so we decide to take him in one more time, and the same thing happened. The doctor said he was just constipated. \n\nThen a few more days go by and nothing has changed. Two days later we find out he had major heart failure and had to be put down. Me and my mom were furious. Because the worst part was if that doctor would have taken the goddamn time to actually look instead of just say “Oh yeah he’s just constipated give it a few days”.\n\nAnyways, we IMMEDIATELY took our business to another veterinarian in the area, and some friends of ours who also go to that vet have been saying we over reacted and should give them another chance.\nSo Reddit, AWTA?\n\nEdit 1: sorry if my grammar and or English is a little fucked rn it’s 2 in the morning lol ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI have changed vets for far less. If you aren’t confident they are doing their best then there is no need to be loyal. They are a business. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nLet me set the stage for you first, due to the economy and culture here, we usually live in the same house with our parents; even if we want to move out, it's hard to find a decent apartment with rent lower than our monthly salary (about $200-$350 are the starting salary here).\n\nSo my dad in his younger years found it really hard looking for and staying at a job due to his severe asthma. He lived off the money my mom sent for us while she worked in another country. Don't get me wrong he was a great dad, had his ups and downs but we got along great. \n\nEarlier today he told me about his dream of me becoming successful, being able to get a new house, cars and having a great family. He was happy telling me his dream. Then it got to the part where he said that he'll stay with me, me providing for him when he gets more older, me taking him to places he wanted to go. I had to stop him there, and it went okay.\n\nThen after a few hours, he told me again his dream and now he was thinking of what I need to do for him. I told him to stop but he just kept on going, which irritated me. I told him again that I don't want to hear it, but he goes on and on. And theeeenn, I kinda exploded in his face telling him that \"I am not your retirement plan. You wanted a good life? Then you should've thought about that before instead of you thinking that I'll carry your broke butt to good senior years. You kept saying that you're strong and so proud that your last asthma attack when I was in first grade. Then why didn't you look for a job then? Why didn't you think of your senior years before? I told myself that I'm gonna help you when I finally get the good life I wanted, but I am not taking you with me.\"\n\nThen I stormed out. It was quiet for the whole day after. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI have asthma; it doesn't keep me from working.  Heck, my brother has awful asthma and has had part of a lung removed because of how often he's had pneumonia and he has still managed to work.\n\nSomething I often wonder when I read these sorts of filial piety posts:  When parents use cultural expectations to demand support from their child, how often have they provided a similar level of support to their own parents?\n\nFor instance, your father wants you to work and let him live in a house with you and buy him cars and other luxuries.  Did he work, have his parents live in his house, and did he buy them luxuries?  If he's not currently working and supporting his elder family members, he can't expect you to fulfill his expectations for this \"social contract\". ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day. \n\nSomeone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say \"thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]\". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off. \n\nI also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way. \n\nAnyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was \"wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch.\"\n\nI was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late.\n\nAITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI hate people who cuss at workers. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am class of 2020. I hated my high school with a burning passion. I would get bullied a lot and I was also sexually harassed. I want to put that part of my life completely behind me and not go back. so I've been cutting most people from that school out. I have been unfollowing and unfriending people on all social medias and made a new Snapchat account. I am getting called out for this though. I don't understand why I personally because I didn't do well in high school and most of those people know that. just wondering if I'm the one in the wrong ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI graduated about a decade ago, have zero contact with anyone from high school and certainly don’t regret it. High school sucked and so did the people lol.\n\nThey are mad now but a) their opinions don’t even matter and b) they will be leaving most of those people behind soon enough anyways.\n\nFocus on who you want to be, make good friends when you can (it gets harder as you get older to meet people to be friends with, plus adult life pulls you apart), and don’t let anyone from your past hold you back. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has 3 children under 5. She works full time due to choice. She always says that while her husband makes more than enough to support the family in a middle class lifestyle, she can’t imagine being home with all the kids all day. \n\nRight now, she’s at home working 12 hours a week for full pay. My BIL is a consultant, so he’s working about 20 hours a week right now for full pay since most people are engaging his company’s services.\n\nI’ve heard nonstop complaining from both of them about how hard it is to be with the kids. This is nothing new. If we’re visiting on a Saturday and we head outside with one parent to grab food out of the car, both parents will be horrified that the other was left alone for 5 minutes.\n\nI don’t have kids, but I have nannied for a family of 4 and worked at a daycare. I feel that sometimes, their reactions are over the top. They chose to have the kids, and that means that they have to actually spend some time with them.\n\nWhen my sister was complaining on the phone yesterday, I said “yeah, but they could be good, because you get to be with your kids more than usual.” She said: “obviously you have no idea how hard it is to be around them this much.” I said: “well you knew it could be when you chose to have them.”\n\nShe hung up with me and we haven’t talked since. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI get your sister’s pain, I’m in my house with one kid. I’ve always worked full time so it’s a whole new adjustment to be at home with kiddo 24\/7, especially when he has aspergers and is NOT happy with his whole life routine changing.....\n\nBut my god, one of my pals has 3 kids and every. Single. Day. She’s on the phone complaining. If I say this is hard she’ll say HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL I HAVE THREE!!!\n\nEventually said well you fuckin well chose to have 3, there’s a reason I was one and done!\n\nAnyway, make child mind child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.\n\nRecently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.\n\nAfter we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back. \n\nI didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning. \n\nI got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?\n\nTL:DR\nEx had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI get her keeping your stuff to piss you off, but honestly what did she expect?? You to just sit tight and watch your property get destroyed from the shadows? That's the shit you can take legal action for. Her life could have been set back by a lot, or even destroyed if she went through with destroying them, and all because you broke up. ######"}
{"prompt":"So today I resigned from my job. I't was apparently a 'graduate position' and my first job out of college. As soon as I joined the company, the head of my department quit and 4 weeks later once she actually left, I was in charge of the department. I was responsible for all the clients accounts and was extremely stressful and I was not well equipped nor trained well enough for the job. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time and no one is around to help. So this affected my mental health badly. I told my boss this and gavethem warning that I was at risk of leaving. \n\nAt the start of this month all employees took a 20% wage reduction. As it was still considered a 'graduate position' I was on almost minimum wage. After the 20% cut I was below minimum wage and was given a contract to sign to consent to the reduction. I informed my employer of the potential illegal document and I got scalded for questioning this (she's a lawyer and was very butter that I would accuse her, a lawyer of creating an illegal contract. \n\nI requested my employer to put me on minimum wage which they rejected my request as they couldn't afford it. So I resigned today leaving the whole accounting service team with no members. \n\nEveryone at the firm hates me for it right now and have guilted me and made me feel like an asshole for leaving. Anyway that sums up the story more or less so let me know what you guys think. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI dunno which country you live in, but you can't take a paycut like that if it's below minimum wage. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t\/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI don’t really see how screaming as a greeting has anything to do with mental health issues. It would be different if she was doing it only when distressed, but this is weird \n\nI may get downvoted loads for this but your girlfriend sounds like an attention seeker. Unless she has Tourette’s, or a learning disability, then this is really inappropriate behaviour for an adult. If she wants to act this way around likeminded friends (there’s a lot of grown up people who seem to enjoy behaving like this) then that’s up to her. But she’s got to understand that in most contexts it’s going to annoy people ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.\n\nBasically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair. \n\nI mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)\n\nAnd because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up\n\nIt’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult. \n\nThe amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing. \n\nSo I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye. \n\nIf they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.\n\nMy mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit. \n\nLuckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI did this to people who randomly and without asking would touch my belly when I was pregnant. \n\nIt’s always a bit rewarding to see the look on someone’s face when they come at you thinking they can just. Touch without asking. And then you give them a couple good belly rubs. \n\nI imagine it’s quite similar with hair as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) am a night owl with ADHD. Everything I have succeeded at doing in life (my degree, working nightshifts, making a profit from my business) has been done when my body functions at it's best (at night). My mother (59f) and my sister (35F) have made it their new obsession to ensure I wake up at the same time as they do and will wake me up if I do not. I don't usually live at home, I live abroad but because of the unusual circumstances - I am at home. They regard my body clock as a character flaw and won't stop giving me unwanted advice that they've found on youtube on how I can change it. AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI could have said NAH, but if they are getting aggressive about it, it makes them TA. You may be a better person than I, but I would start walking them up at my preferred time to give them a dose of their own medicine. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me. \n\nSo I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early. \n\nHe continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a \"happy birthday\" before he settled into grumpy mode.\n\nAITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI can't even begin to understand his logic.\n\nHe sounds terribly controlling and unpleasant. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end. \n\nI started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me. \n\nI understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care. \n\nMy friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date\/sleeping together? \n\nAITA for not telling him I don’t shave?\n\nTL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI bet 10 bucks and a sloppy BJ that he wasn't shaved either ######"}
{"prompt":"I own about 10 plaid shirts, all different colours, I wear them all regularly, and my go to outfit is jeans, a tank top, and a plaid shirt. My dad hates that I dress like this and always pointedly asks me if I want to change or if I really need to be wearing that, and he's actually \"joked\" about burning my shirts on the BBQ before now, but I paid for them, I like them, and it's not like I'm making him wear them.\n\nI'm reorganising my bedroom. My room is fairly small and I don't have a lot of space, so I decided to take out my chest of drawers and put a hanging shoe rack and some over the door coat hangers in. One is over my actual bedroom door holding my coats\/jackets, and I decided to put my collection of plaid shirts on the other. There are other plain shirts on this rack but they're all buttoned and dad hates all of them. I can't hang them inside my wardrobe because due to my reorganisation the space they used to occupy is now taken up with jeans\/joggers, non buttoning shirts, and shoes.\n\nThis rack was meant to go over my wardrobe door in a way that when it shut the shirts would be inside, but it didn't close properly, so I've had to hang it off the side of my wardrobe instead.\n\nI finished everything up yesterday and I really like it, but dad has come in, seen the shirt rack, and just rolled his eyes. Next time he came in he asked if I had to put those there and I told him the wardrobe wouldn't shut with it inside.\n\nNext thing I know mum's come in and told me to take the rack down, said dad's raging over it, wants the whole thing gone and is totally fuming. Thing is, I like it. I don't want to take it down. It took me 2 days and a fair chunk of change to get everything just how I want it, I don't want to change it.\n\nAITA for not taking it down? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI assume that you're a woman and he buys into the whole 'plaid=gay' stereotype, which makes him even more of an asshole. If you're a man then idk maybe your mom dated a lumberjack in college?\n\nEither way he's being ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically my nephew wanted to watch a film at the cinema but it was a 15 rated film. (In the UK we have 12, 15, and 18 rated films) \n\nHe's really into special effects and stuff so I knew he wouldn't be scared by it so I told him to just say he's 15.\n\nHis mother found out, got really angry at me and told me I wasn't allowed in her home ever again. \n\nI told her she's being ridiculous and her son is fine. She said she wants him \"on the right path\" and I'm encouraging him to commit a crime. I told her to get a grip and she said she needs to be in control for him to succede.\n\nI lost it and told her she is just a narcissistic bitch who's scared that she can't control and micromanage every aspect of her sons life.\n\nShe screamed and I left \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI am British as well. There is not one of us that has not been to see one of these films when we were below the age prescribed. Everyone starts going to 15s at 13 or 14 and everyone goes to 18 movies at 16 or 17. It is just what we do.\n\nThat level of parental controlling behaviour is simply not normal for the UK. \n\nHe's your nephew. This kind of thing in our country is perfectly normal. Her reaction is not. The American audience on here will be alarmed and come at it from the point if view of their own cultural attitudes, but those are simply not British ones.\n\nYou weren't showing him porn or lighting up a joint. You would deserve that reaction if so. But I would say this honestly to the American and other non UK audience on here; in our country this would not be a big deal and the parent's reaction is an unusual one ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents and I have been having an argument. My parents sat me down and asked me about my grades. I told them all the ones that I know. Some of my teachers don't post the grades to Google Classroom so I don't know what some of them are. I have 4 confirmed a's (3 are above 95%) and 3 b's. I'm in 8th grade. Right now I get 2 30 minute sections of game time per day after I do school, homework, and the extra 1hr of math that my mom tells me to do. Our school has a placement test for high school that helps the teachers decide what math class to put us in. I ***chose*** to be put into the 'lower' (i don't know a better word) math class. I've been not doing as good as my parents want me to in math. This happened during the grade conversation. My parents after hearing that I chose to be put into that math class got very mad that I didn't want to go the the higher math.\n\nAbout an hour after I told them the grades that I know and that I was going to the 'lower math', they told me to study more. I've been studying more, about 2-3 hours each day+studying during classes. They cut my video game time down to 1 30 minutes after they have checked to see if I've done all my homework. I got mad and asked them why, and my mom said, \"We are done talking about this.\" After that I went and studied math for an extra hour to try to make them happy. They are still mad at me for having the grades that I have atm. I'm studying more, but they don't seem to see it.\n\nAITA for getting mad in this argument enough that my parents had to shut me down?\n\nsorry for rambling ######","completion":" NTA\n\nI always hate parents who are like \"you aren't in the advanced classes?  You just must not be trying hard enough.  No more fun, only studying until you perform at a level that 'we know you can'.  And we know you can, because we believe that our parenting is so awesome that we have birthed a winner!\" ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity.\n\nHe and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions. \n\nHe passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family.\n\nI told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHowever, I would recommend that you consider allowing her to apply, but apply through the usual method and her application be considered against other applicants in the same manner as any other applicant.  Don't give her any advantage in the application process, nor in any position.\n\nIf your business is large enough, you're not involved in every hiring process.  You don't need to be involved if your sister applies to work at your business. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.\n\nThere's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.\n\nWhen I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it \"off limits\" for my eating in their mind.\n\nAITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHoly shit the lengths people will go to to  be offended.  You're not eating dog food, the dog is eating people food.\n\nMore to the point...it's JUST FOOD. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just for context: I (F18) have dated a guy (M22) for about 9 months, but never really loved him. He knew it, because at the first time he asked me, I denied, saying that I only see him as a friend. So he told me that if I didn't date him, he wouldn't have a reason to live - I was sooooo worried that I ended up accepting. We had a really bad relationship and broke up several times, but he always came to my door crying to ask for a chance and I was too afraid to deny since I knew what he would do.\n\nIn January, I received a very good job offer in another city, so I won't work with him anymore. A couple days after I started to work, he broke up with me. The inner me was so glad that he did it, to be honest.\nMonths without seeing him and working in a good place, I finally discovered that I'm lesbian. That explains a lot in our relationship as a couple.\nHis friends found out my twitter and saw me talking about Pride Month, 2 of them even replied to me saying that I was just confused because I had dated a guy before.\nI didn't care at first, but an ex friend of mine texted me saying that I'm destroying his life because everyone is making fun of him for making me 'turn out as a lesbian' and I told her that it's not my problem because I have no control of what they do and say, she said that I'm insensitive towards him because I know he has problems with depression and anger, which is true. \n(Don't be so focused on our relationship. This is about my decision to come out knowing all his problems). ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHis mental health is not your responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"There’s a lot going on here but I’ll keep it as short as possible. My husband and I live fairly close to his parents (like 15 min) and his brother who has severe intellectual disabilities at age 36. \n\nMy husband is a doctor and with the pandemic we’ve decided to live apart for the time being so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally infecting me. So now I’ve moved in with my in laws and his brother. \n\nI love his in laws like my own parents. His brother, however, is another story. He’s disabled but he has an incredibly foul mouth and very offensive opinions that he’s formed from years surfing deep corners of the internet. \n\nBut he’s disabled and is not all there sometimes, so I do my best to help out and keep my mouth shut. Last Saturday I was going on a walk with him (daily exercise) when we were walking past this big grocery store parking lot. We see a dad and son loading groceries into their car and my BIL started yelling racial insults at them (they were Asian). \n\nI was horrified and I tried pulling him away. But it was heartbreaking seeing the look on the little boy’s face and the exhausted\/defeated expression on his dad’s face as they drove away. I was so angry that night I called my husband and basically told him I will rent a hotel room myself because I can’t stand another minute in the same house as his brother. \n\nIt’s been a week and my husband has told me he can’t sleep because he’s so upset over what I told him. I admit I used harsh words and fully laid out my feelings to him. He said he still loves his brother and can’t stand the thought of us never getting along. AITA for telling him directly how I felt about this brother? I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept it to myself. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHey, I get disabilities . . . But listen, if the guy is smart enough to use the internet and impressionable enough to learn these toxic behaviors from those dark corners of the internet, he is capable of learning other behaviors too. Like, politeness. \n\nThe disability card is sometimes necessary, but sometimes it means people don't ever try to hold these individuals to any standards.  \n\nYou do not have to like this. You do not have to feel comfortable around this, or fix it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy. \n\nI logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that. \n\nWe would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc. \n\nA neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do. \n\nShe then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says: \n\n'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.' \n'I have never met you in my entire life' \n'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely' \n\nI replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'. \n\nShe replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that. \n\nI'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private. \n\nAITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHer sending a friend request would mean to any reasonable person that they were interested in chatting.\n\n(edit) somehow this is my most upvoted comment by over 10x ######"}
{"prompt":"Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc. \n \nI had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card.\n \nMy ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity.\n \nA couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHer friends could let your Ex use their Netflix. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place. \nWhen I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge. \nThis blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHer food took up the whole fridge until you took the time to clean out a rearrange it, however you asking for a single shelf now is somehow selfish? She's being lazy and argumentative for no real reason. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad recently laughingly told us a story about how almost 20 years ago he took a job in a different state, listed and sold the house without my moms knowledge. My mom only found out because a friend of theirs was looking for a new house in the area and her agent showed her my parents house. At the time my oldest sibling was 5, my second sibling was 3 and I was only a few months old. My mom had just quit her job because the pay was about the same as paying for childcare. My dad I guess thought that since he was the one working, it was only his decision on if the entire family moved or not. When my mom found out I guess she took me to a friends house for a few days, but ultimately went back and went along with the move. The entire time my dad is telling this story, it’s clear he thinks it’s hilarious. I thought it was upsetting, especially as I new how much my mom loved the area they lived and the friends they had-she still talks about it to this day as being some of the happiest times. It really pissed me off how funny he found it. So I said “well if I was in moms position, I would have Divorced you” Apparently I over stepped. My dad got really defensive and said that if he hadn’t done it, then he wouldn’t have eventually landed the well paying position he is in today-and that I should be grateful. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that he took the job it’s that he made all the decisions without her, and now thinks it’s funny. I do feel a little guilty as my parents are currently really rocky, but were having a good day. Now my mom is upset with him, because she heard him laughing about it. I think he took it as me taking her side with everything or just stirring up trouble. That wasn’t my intention at all- and I really don’t want to them to go back to arguing. However, I did think it was wrong- and I definitely would file for divorce if I’m every in a similar situation. Should I have just kept my mouth shut? It’s definitely starting to feel like I should have. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe’s selfish and unapologetic about it. I would have re-evaluate the relationship if I was in your moms shoes as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before you judge off the title alone, my friend is a man. Not genderqueer or anything, just a man. He has always said kind of cringe things about women and sex, nothing bigoted but just....cringe. Like once he told me that he is most attracted to bisexual women because “pleasuring women is his biggest pastime” and he can’t relate to women who don’t. \n\nWell his latest is he told me he’s a lesbian. I told him that unless he no longer identifies as a man, he isn’t a lesbian. He says that’s not true. His reasons for being a “lesbian” are: he has a powerful connection to women’s energy (further questioning revealed he was just talking about vaginas), he thinks he’s more turned on by watching two women together than other straight men, and his dream is pleasuring 4 women at once (you can do that....I guess....but you’d still be straight.) he also thinks lesbians are “hotter” than straight women. I’m 90% sure he’s never met a lesbian IRL and this is based on porn. He does not identify as a woman or even remotely not a man. He just dreams of being “in the middle of a lesbian orgy.”\n\nI am normally not one to police identities but he’s obviously just a straight man and I find this borderline offensive. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe’s not a lesbian, he has a lesbian fetish ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.\n\nThen, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because \"I provoked him\" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.\n\nHe has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe’s 32, he should have more control over his anger by now, he’s an adult. Red flag imo\n\nWhy should you pay for damage HE caused to HIS computer during HIS temper tantrum? Red flag 2\n\nYou “provoked” him? You told him to go to bed when it was already 2am. Was he on something? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this guy has been my friend for a few months now. Maybe 5 or 6. Went to a few parties at his place, talked a bunch when quarantine was starting, that kind of thing. Once, when i was pretty drunk at one of his parties (a get-together of 4 pretty close friends), i spilled that id slept with a friend in our closer friend circle. Literally the next day i find out he's been telling everyone about it. \n\nFast forward a few months to late quarantine and he starts criticising little things i do. Like just reacting to his texts on Messenger when I don't have anything to say, and straight up calls me \"very dishonest\" for telling a teacher online I couldn't hear them well.\n\nA couple days ago I'm out with friends and i find out he's been spilling that conversation too, and now some friends of mine from totally separate groups know about it.\n\nSo I decide to cut ties with this guy, and he just won't let up. Saying he still wants to talk to me and that he never had any bad intentions and that he doesn't understand why I won't try to work on this relationship and talk things out rather than cutting ties straight up. \n\nSo, after all of this, i need a sanity check. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe's not your friend, and you don't owe anyone your time and friendship just because they want it. Same as you don't owe anyone a romantic relationship just because they want it. \n\nThere's nothing to work on, as it's not a friendship. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this just happened. Some background, I'm at my parent's house with my two younger brothers. \n\nI (19 F) walked inside and went into the games room. My younger brother (8), we'll call Sam, is on his iPad watching something. I go to sneak up on him to scare him but he notices me first than tries to hide the screen from me.\n\nI asked him to let me look and he wouldn't. He than exited the app and I reached for it but he took it away. I don't usually do this but I went to our mum and explained that he won't let me look at the screen. Mum called him into the lounge room. Sam seemed a bit panicked and went to grab his iPad for her. But mum asked me to grab it and it was turned off. \n\nSam has some ridiculously long password on his iPad. He was trying to hide the screen from us while putting it in and failed it a few times, maybe trying to get himself locked out of it. Then mum told him to hurry up and so he did. \n\nA thing about my mum is that she's not very tech savvy. So I had to show her how to access YouTube's  history tab and what not. She found some \"interesting\" videos and questioned him as she fast forwarded her way through them while Sam was standing next to her very nervous and saying theirs nothing bad on there.\n\nSam was almost in tears as mum continued to go through his history and threatened to break the IPad. After mum went through what she thought was enough she took it and my other brother's (10), Dean, iPad.\n\nThey've been banned for a while and Sam is still being questioned and has been asked for an explanation.\n\nI don't blame him for hating me right now, I thought I was doing the right thing as there are horrible things on the internet I want to protect him from. I felt like I was doing my older sibling duties.\n\n\nTL:DR \nI got my little brother's iPad taken off him because he wouldn't show me what he was watching. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe's 8 and who knows what kind of creepy things he could be getting into. \n\nIf he was hiding something stupid but harmless, he only has himself to blame for being so secretive. That's what raised the red flag. Probably you would have been more lenient with him than your mom if it was something iffy but not too terrible.\n\nBut if it's something *bad*, it needs to be found out now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Basically my bf (23m) and I (21f) are having a disagreement about the word c\\*nt. He’s been using it more and more lately, to which I have asked him to stop using it so much. \n\nTonight, we were watching a TV show where he called the character a c\\*nt. I asked him to stop using the word so much, and he said “ill take it into consideration but also I enjoy the word. So unless you have a good reason” he’ll keep saying it. I simply responded that it makes me uncomfortable. His response to that was “then don’t be uncomfortable smh.”\n\nHis other arguments for using the word c\\*nt are 1) that America has freedom of speech, 2) that he shouldn’t have to censor himself, and 3) that me feeling uncomfortable shouldn’t be a reason to stop using the word. While the word was not aimed toward me, that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable as I feel that it's a word rooted in sexism. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nHe sounds charming. Why are you with him? ######"}
{"prompt":"Got some degree of background, I (30F) was pregnant and miscarried. I now have to have the left over tissue removed from my body. I was only 9 weeks at the time, but I’m obviously hormonal and I’m sad.\n\nMy husband (31M) was never excited about the pregnancy. To be honest, it was unexpected. We have no other children and weren’t planning on it any time soon. \n\nI scheduled the appointment and asked if he was available during that time. He confirmed he was, but as the conversation continued he kept bringing up how he was trying to make plans with a friend who’s in from out of town for that evening. I told him I didn’t want to do that. \n\nHe still wants to go hang out with his friend. Am I just hormonal? Or is it reasonable to expect him to be a source of emotional support after that? He just saw this friend two weeks ago. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe should obviously be there with you, ESPECIALLY if you asked him to and didn’t just imply it and try and get him to figure it out. Friends can wait, marriages (hopefully) are for life ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend just let me know that his sister and her daughter have their flight booked to come stay with us... \nI am upset because he didn’t feel the need to ask me first if it was okay that they stay with us. And now, he’s mad at me and says “I take the joy out of fun things like this.” \n\nINFO: We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment. They are planning on staying for two weeks. And it is his sister and her 2 year old daughter, so I am going to have to give up my bed for them and sleep on an air mattress for the two weeks they’re here. \n\nAITA for feeling like he should have at least consulted with me first about this? We equally split all bills, so it’s my apartment just as much as it is his. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe needed to ask before inviting a guest to your shared space.\n\nAlso, you should not give up your bed.  His sister and the 2 year-old can sleep on an inflatable mattress. ######"}
{"prompt":"Note: I do not know the people that live here. We speak different languages. I have had zero communication with them over 2-years. These people mean nothing to me. I am simply staying here while I apply for actual apartments.\n\nThe door to this building automatically locks when you leave UNLESS you stick a rug in the door and prevent it from closing. Generally speaking, you should take your keys with you, because if you go outside you aren't getting back in.\n\nThis one guy NEVER takes his keys. Yesterday, four times he went outside to smoke, forgot his keys, and spent five minutes banging on my wall to get me to open the door. It was 2am. I was sleeping.\n\nThe fifth time I got so pissed that I am simply pretending I am not home. He has been banging on my wall for 3-hours now, and I have just put headphones on. It is really fucking loud, but why should I have to do anything for his stupidity? It is now 1:30pm. He started banging at 11:30am.\n\nAITA for not letting him in? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe knows that what he is doing is rude but doesn't care because you're here to open and he wants a smoke. It's justified, and after a couple of times, he'll learn to bring his keys, which is a fairly easy skills to pick up. The alternative is him banging on your wall at ungodly hours until you move out, which I don't see why you should have to endure. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last fall I bought a horse from my uncle for $200. I also purchased hay my uncle was selling for $50 per large round bale (I bought 7 for the horse). \nThis July I decided to sell the horse because they had lied about it's training and I could not even put a saddle on w\/o it flipping out. \nThe bill of sale states that the previous owner has first refusal. I am asking $500 for the horse as I put lots of $$ into it weight booster (as it was very thin &amp; malnourished when I bought it),  \nhoof trimming, wintering over etc. \nThe problem? \nMy uncle wants to buy the horse and is convinced I'm the ass hole because I want to get $500 and won't let him buy back at my purchase price of $200. His reason? \nHe \"cut me a deal on hay\". He priced the horse that low, he priced the hay that low, he malnourished the horse.\n If I sell back to him at $200 he would have made money off me by getting free hay, boarding, healthcare. \nThis is causing a family rift \nand I just need to know, AITA in this situation?? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe has right of first refusal and has refused to buy it at your stated price.  Do you really want that horse to go back to being malnourished?\n\nIt looks like the horse would be better off with someone who thinks it's worth $500 (or a little less if you want to bargain).\n\nStand your ground. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’ll keep this brief. \n\nMy mom and dad have been together for 23 years and have been quite successful. \n\nThey had me (20M), 3 years into their marriage. \nMy mom got diagnosed with cancer and it’s been horrible. Well apparently my dad didn’t find it that bad because it turns out he was cheating with one of their tenants. She has 2 kids and is pregnant with my dads. \n\nWhen I found out I was furious and told my mom which made her condition worse. They proceeded with divorce. \n\nIt was lengthy and my mom got everything. My dad tried to convince me to let him in their house to get his stuff but I blocked him and want nothing to do with him. \n\nMy mom evicted my dads mistress and all was well. Turns out my dad had been paying her rent. They’ve been house skipping and times have been tough for them. \n\nI came home from shopping a few days ago and they were on the front porch. My dad, his gf and her kids were all there. They asked for a place to stay and I told them get bent. In fairness the house is large and can fit all of them. Do I care? No. I shoved my dad out of the way when he tried blocking the door and went in and for the next few minutes they were banging until I threatened them with the police. \n\nWell they were leaving and I was watching them from the top floor and I saw her slip and trip down the stairs. My dad called the ER and they came and took her and I thought that was that until today when my dad came and yelled at me. He told me she miscarried and they have no money or a place to stay. I told him I don’t care and he’s dead to me and I couldn’t care less about his gf’s kids to. \n\nHe stormed off and I got a call from my gran calling me a cruel loser and saying u killed my sibling. I just hung up but my dads side have been bombarding me and I’ve been called cruel by a few female friends. \n\nI am just wondering, AITA and should I help? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe dug his own hole and he needs to live in it now. He cheated on your mother. While I think it is awful that your dad's GF miscarried, that shouldn't concern you in the slightest.\n\nIn all, your father's current position is all due to his decisions. He pushed you guys away, and letting him back into your life and your mother's life will only cause more issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate is convinced my asthma is fake. I have an inhaler for it and take medication for a bunch of other illnesses. I have a nice job so when they lost their job because of the coronavirus I started paying all the bills.\n\nLast week I finished my work (im working from home) and when I went to take my medication it was gone. I asked my roommate if he took it and he said yes. I asked for it back. He said no. I told him I need my medication. He said it was a placebo. I began to panic and started begging for them back. He refused, saying I wouldn't die and I need to stop overeacting. I felt like I couldn't breathe and grabbed my inhaler but he snatched it away. I managed to calm myself down and told him to fuck himself.\n\nI wouldn't die but if I didn't take my meds I'd become moderately ill. I rushed to the pharmacy and explained what happened and she was very sympathetic and helpful.\n\nI decided to move out. I could afford to and I didn't want to live with this scumbag. I packed my things up, over the course of a week, got my new place ready and then one morning I told him I was moving out and he had the place to himself. \n\nHe immediately panicked, explaining how he had no job, family, friends or money. I know this is true and I felt really bad but I didnt care. I have asthma I had to risk my life to replace the meds. I was at risk because of him.\n\nHe said to me that he would go homeless and starve to death. I told him I really couldn't care less. He said he would give back the meds but he flushed them. Oh cool, he had no clue what the meds were for and flushed them. I could have died if I had a more serious condition. \n\nHe said when he dies of hypothermia, hunger or if someone murders him that blood was on my hands. I told him my blood could be on his hands if he actually had the fucking audacity to flush my meds.\n\nI left and I feel bad. Did I do the right thing? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe doesn't care about your health so why would you care about his living conditions?\n\nGo and enjoy your life! ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom died when I was 13 years old and \nMy dad remarried when I was 15\nHis new wife and stepsons. Was the boss\nAnything and everything he will do it\nI no longer was his son, or problems \nThey made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything \nI was the outsider  this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always  tell me he   paying for your my college.\n\nI'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank\n\nMy father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son \nYours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call \n\nHe call me every week and wife and in law \nabout me helping him\n\nMy wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad \n\nI tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him \n\nAm i the Asshole ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe can’t decide you are his son when it is convenient for him.  He’s only talking to you because he needs your money.  He wasn’t there when you needed his love ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating for four years and we currently live together. We usually have a great relationship but recently we've been at each other's throats over this. I can't tell if this is a real problem or if it's just because we're cooped up.\n\nThe problem is that I eat a lot of foods my boyfriend considers gross. Some of these are foods everybody considers gross, and others are things just he does. \n\nThings he thinks are gross: melted cheese, shredded cheese, hummus, chickpeas, fries in milkshakes, this Indian yogurt I eat, and peanut butter with nothing else.\n\nThings probably everyone thinks are gross: pickles in milkshakes, ketchup in rice, capers and their juice, and mangoes and cheese. There are probably others I'm forgetting. \n\nAnyways I like these foods and I get that others think it's gross, but I don't really think it's hurting anybody. \n\nRecently though I've been eating them more, and as both my boyfriend and I are home all the time in a small studio, he's been seeing it a lot more. At first he just told me what I was doing was nasty and moved on, but now he's started getting angry at me when he sees me eating these things and others he thinks are gross.\n\nToday we got into a fight over it. He wants me to stop eating all these foods he thinks are gross. I think he's being ridiculous. I always clean up after myself, and it's not like I'm rubbing it in his face that I'm eating these. He thinks it's inconsiderate for me to keep doing something that I know bothers him.\n\nWe're currently not talking over this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nHe can absolutely sod categorically off if he thinks he can stop any sane human from eating MELTED CHEESE? What is his actual problem there? ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention. \n\nExcept this intervention was for his \"gaming addiction\". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence. \n\nMy teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time. \n\nI then went and broke up their \"intervention\" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down. \n\nI said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGood for your daughter that her mom is sensitive enough and cares about her feelings. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles. \n\nToday I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to. \n\nAnother coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR. \n\nWIBTA if I went to HR about it? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGoing to HR now is probably doing him a favor.  There's nothing overtly sexual there so this should probably just warrant a little wake up call from HR and not have any serious impact on his career.  Hopefully this will help him learn the social norms for whatever country you're in.\n\nIf you wait until there's something actionable, he may very well get fired.\n\nThe only reason I'm not going the other direction is because of the 'All women can't control' part of this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGoing the speed limit is the responsibility of the driver. If they choose to speed then they have to accept the possible consequences. Only way I could see you being an AH is if you all urged the driver to speed and agreed to pool in if they get a ticket. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (19f) have been at my moms home for going on 3 months now. She(43f) has 2 younger children J(6m) and K(5f) who im here with 24\/7. Her bf works in the oilfield gone 2 weeks and in 2 weeks. Before he left out, him and my mom told the children if they feel I'm being unfair to them that they need to immediately come see my mom or the bf. They listened to me fairly decently as and 6 and 5 yr old would up until that point. Now the kids ignore me completely. And if they actually hear what I say they immediately pull that unfair crap. And if i get upset about any of it my mom gets mad at me. I blew up a few mins ago because K decided to crush up a Nutty Buddy all over the floor and then hide it. Then ignored me when I called her down numerous times to come clean it. My mom walked back in the house and yelled at me for being upset over it. They gave the kids an excuse to completely disrespect me and not listen to me whatsoever. And now the kids are telling me they only listen to their momma and daddy. And that I need to go home because they don't need or want me.\nEdit: was just told by J that if I die he won't even cry because im not important to him. \nAlso I raised J until he was 4. And K until she was 3. From the moment they got home from the hospital. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGo home. It sounds like you’re here doing them a favor. The kids won’t listen. The adults don’t stand up for you or appreciate it. Don’t put up with this. Leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.\n\nHe's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did. \n\nso, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGiven we don’t know the nature of his crime I cannot possible call you Y T A so I’ll stick with my initial thought that you should only have contact with him when you’re ready.\n\nThat being said, I hope you go see a counselor or therapist so you can explore if you will ever want to have a relationship with him and making sure you’re on the right mindset for it. Once again since we don’t know if it was a violent or sexual crime then it’s really at your discretion but do see a counselor.\n\nHang in there buddy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try and keep it as brief as I can. I own my house, and have a tandem driveway with a rental house. The owner is an older lady who inherited the house when her mom died (she's about 75 and lives downtown). For the past 10 years, a new tenant moves in, I become friends with them, and then they leave because the landlord won't do anything to fix the house. She also won't allow anyone to pay for improvements (example: they wanted to rip up and replace the moldy carpet in the bathroom and she wouldn't let them). There's termite damage, water in the basement, and all of the locks are broken. The house is falling apart and hasn't had a single improvement for at least 60 years. I hate the rotating door of tenants that are moving in, getting fed up, and moving out. The latest tenant just told me they're moving (ill miss them!)... and I want to report the house for code violations after they leave.  \n\nThe landlord hasn't registered the house as a rental, and never gives them their security deposit back... even when the tenants try and fix the house as much as they can. I hate this rotating door of new neighbors. SO. I want to report all of the code violations to the city, knowing full well that the owner doesn't have the money to fix them.  I'll be honest--- I want the city to tear down the house, buy the lot and start a neighborhood garden.\n\nAITA for reporting the house and creating a hardship on an older lady on a very fixed income? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGiven everything you've said about how she is scamming tenants I kinda think you'd be the asshole if you didn't report her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account.\n\nFor my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good. \n\nSoon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it. \n\nHonestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGet back at them with \"why would you wish that upon my grandmother? I'm clearly such an awful chef that she deserves a better cake than mine. It's really cruel of you to want her to suffer through such a horrible present yet again\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day.\n\nI received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor.\n\nWhen they  told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive.\n\nI got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one.\n\nAnyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week.  I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGet a lawyer (3rd party can keep calm) and sue the crap out them!\n\nNo further contact except through your lawyer. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story happened a few months ago but it still bugs me to this day, I need opinions. So I (22M) was taking the subway back home after a long day at work. Its a long ride I get on at the start of the line and off at the end. I found a seat thankfully and decided to get some sleep. About a third of the way in I was awoken by a pregnant lady and her friend asking me to move. There was a seat next to me empty that her friend sat in, and they obviously expected me to give up my seat so they could sit together. I refused saying that her friend can stand so she can take her seat. Obviously this upset them and they started shouting at me saying I was a sexist toxic person. Everyone on the train gave me disgusted looks, I defended myself but everyone seemed to have already taken a stand. Anyway I refused to move, and eventually a seat freed up and the pregnant lady sat down. I got disgusted looks for the whole journey and the friend was still shouting at me. I started to believe I must have misread the situation, the friend of the pregnant women was quite chubby so maybe she was pregnant and it wasn't visible. I asked her \"are you pregnant, in which case I'm sorry\". She went all red and got even more angry saying I was also fat phobic, I was a disgusting person, she got off at the next stop with the pregnant women with her. Turns out she wasn't pregnant. The rest of the ride was interesting and I couldn't sleep after that as people were looking at me like I'd murdered a puppy. I need to clear my mind and see if I was an asshole here, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGenerally, if a pregnant or disabled person needs a seat, you give them a seat. But her friend took the free seat and expected you to wake up and stand?? Ffs. SHE should've let her pregnant friend sit instead of harassing a stranger on the bus.\n\nAsking if the friend was pregnant is probably not the most tactful thing, but honestly she was being rude bc you were calling out her hypocrisy, so IDC.\n\nNTA in this case\n\nEdit:typo ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.    \n\n\nMy mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room \"how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong.\"   \n\n\nHonestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nGeeze, your mother needs to take a chill pill!\n\nI assume there are \/ were times when she went out with your father and didn't include you two? Talk about 'entitled'... ######"}
{"prompt":"I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know. \n\nI've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried. \n\nOnce I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.\n\nI kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her \"I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to\", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.\n\nMy mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFor the most part conviction details are matters of public record unless they've been expunged. If everyone knew but you, seems messed up wouldn't tell you and you had to go search for yourself. \n\nWhy would he did affect your career? I don't understand that part. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background info:\nI have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.\n\nBack in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.\n\nA couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was \"I haven't given it to her yet.\" I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.\n\nA few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.\n\nAfter he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.\n\nDid I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFor that particular transaction, his role wasn't your friend, but your client. You were a professional offering a service that was requested and should have been paid for. You're right that it's irrelevant that he didn't give the gift to its intended recipient; that part should be completely divorced from you being paid for the work you did.\n\nNow that you've seen how he treats the things you craft, you're well within your rights to refuse to make anything further for him. As the person who's making the things, you really have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. Nobody can mandate that you make something for them, and your reasons are inviolable.\n\nAt the end of the day, you do this for extra money, not charity. If you're not getting the money and you know your work isn't going to be appreciated anyway, why spend the time and resources?\n\nI will say this: if you do work for friends again in the future, no matter how good a friend they are, I advise that you don't let them \"pay later\" and make sure you invoice them as you would any other client. There is nobody worse for getting freelance work payments than your friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.\n\nPersonally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list. \n\nAnd, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.\n\nI have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFor me, the biggest difference here is your parents made a decision to have a child, the child is not involved in that decision at all, in any capacity. Your Father was doing what society expect of him as a parent. ######"}
{"prompt":"First-time poster, long-time lurker. \nFor some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago. \n\nMy Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.\n\nAt first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets. \n\nI chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards. \n\nWas I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFirstly, THANK YOU OP for not abandoning your pets. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you for that. Your cats and dogs love you and look up to you and they don't need a negative person like your ex.\n\nHonestly, what did she expect?? I understand that everything might have been getting to her but asking you to choose is just absurd. I don't think you could have made this work. Since she's asked once, she would ask you to abandon your pets again in the future. It's better for both parties that you guys split up. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.\n\nOne of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.\n\nI said that sucked.\n\nThis one girl Talia spoke up and said\n\n“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”\n\nSo people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office. \n\nTalia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.\n\nTo be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.\n\nTalia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60. \n\nOne of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.\n\nA different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFirst, HER fault for waiting until the last second to try to pay a fee that had most likely been there for awhile that she probably just forgot about. \nSecond, you weren’t even close friends. Third, $60 can be a lot of money. Fourth, if all your friends go to the same school why didn’t she ask them as well? You could have each given her $10? Fifth, if you’re the only person she asked, she obviously didn’t try very hard to get the money. And if she DID ask others, then it wouldn’t be just your fault that she didn’t walk at graduation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself. \n\nAfter a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFirst off, assuming there isn’t some strange and sordid history, it is generally fine to be friendly with an ex. If your current bf can’t deal with it then he has a stupid jealousy issue. \n\nAlso, he has zero reason to not look at your car and is being a douche to not do so. \n\nYou did nothing wrong, your bf is a dick, and he owes you an apology. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said \"yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care\". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said \"go ahead I don't give a fuck\" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)\nat which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nFirst of all, you dad is super weird for watching videos of girls twerking at the dinner table\n\nSecond of all, he literally asked for it (you watching \"literal porn\" at the table) ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 15 male and my sister(21F) and I(15M) decided to die my hair bleach blond today. My siblings hairs are blond because they are blood related to my parents and my dad has diry blond hair and my mom has just straight up blond hair but I'm Korean they adopted me from Korea when I was 5. I have recently been feeling a disconnect from my family and kind of feeling like the odd one out. When I told my sister(21F) this we decided to dye my hair not because it will help me look like that cuase there is no way I can look white but to just help me feel better about myself she dyes her hair different colors and she said after she dyes her hair she feels refreshed and able to do anything she wants it give her confidence which is something I'm lacking right now. We were originally going to dye my hair blue but we just went for bleach blond. Well we did it and when my mom saw she freaked out on me and my sister. She told me I ruined my hair and blamed my sister for giving me the idea. We didnt think I needed permission to die my hair at 15 years old. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nExplain to your mother what the underlying motive was behind dying your blond if you haven't already done so. Hopefully, she'll calm down and be more empathetic to your situation. Also, you did not need her permission to color your hair - your sister is an adult and was onboard with the decision. In the end it's just hair, it'll grow out and it's not \"ruined\". ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister unfortunately passed away suddenly recently and there will be a funeral soon. Unfortunately, though, because of the Rona situation, the EU commission decided to ban Americans and later most of hte world from entering the EU unless they have valid business or diplomatic reasons to be here. Mostly its some sort of visa or residence permit and at the moment my visa is expired, and  I am in the process of trying to get a residence permit. I live and study in Poland. \n\nAlmost all of my family is fucking pissed i wont go back to the US for the funeral but I cant. If i leave, I cannot reenter hte EU. I have explained this concept so many times to some of these thickskulled dumbasses who still don't understand. Others are saying I'm selfish for this. If i can't reenter the EU i can't continue my studies here. \n\nI've suggested of other things i could do, i could skype or watch a live stream of the funeral or something, i want to go but i can't. I had a massive argument with some of my relatvies after explainign this the 5th time to him and i ended up cursing him out. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nEveryone is broken and grieving and so they’re being unreasonable right now. You’re sad too. \n\nFunerals are more for the living. Ask a sympathetic family member to help you with the streaming so you can see it. Perhaps ask a friend to turn up in your place to offer comfort to your parents.\n\nI am so, so sorry ######"}
{"prompt":"So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nEveryone had the same chance you did to collect the material. It’s not your fault you took this test more seriously than they did. Now that the day is coming up they’re worried about it. \n\nYou are not obligated to share with anyone you don’t want to. But have a discussion with your friends and make sure they aren’t giving it out either. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nEspecially since you offered alternatives. You can meet your friends for a walk while keeping your distance and staying outside.\n\nPlus: even if you were a little unreasonable (which I feel, you aren't) first time mums get a free pass on this one. You want to protect your little one, which you just carried around in your body for nearly one year, I think that can be scary enough for some, let alone during a pandemic. ######"}
{"prompt":"Fiancée has had an eating disorder for a looooong time (more than half her life) but recovered and has been doing amazing for about a year now. This is the longest she has ever been okay for. \n\nRecently she’s been falling into old behaviours and started eating less. A lot less. She’ll fill her bowl 3\/4 of the way and leave about half of her food untouched. \n\nShe’s drinking a lot of sugar free sodas and energy drinks because they make her feel full and keeps the hunger away. \n\nShe doesn’t want to eat after 7pm which is an old resurfaced behaviour as we usually have dinner around 8pm. \n\nYesterday she admitted she was starving at around 10pm but didn’t want to eat because it was after 7pm. \n\nOne of her accounts is one I set up and connected to an email we both have access to as she doesn’t have access to her old accounts and asked me to set it up. I think she’s forgotten by now about the connection because this morning I got an email saying “congratulations on your new weight goal” from a fitness app. \n\nThe “goal” would put her BMI at around around 16 which is obviously very low but not critical. Not yet. \n\nShe has a habit of falling and falling hard because then she reached that and she’s technically fine so wants to go lower and lower and lower. \n\nLast relapsed ended her in the ICU. \n\nWe have an agreement that I don’t comment on her food because it makes her worse and worsens her relationship with food. \n\nShe made me promise that if she ever reaches a very specific weight to call professionals in to help her. \n\nWould I be the asshole for actually doing that if she gets to that weight? I can monitor her weight which she agreed on when we set it up but I believe she has since forgotten about. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nEating disorders are notorious for relapses and so so hard to treat.\n\nBMI of 16 is VERY LOW. (We admit patient to mandatory hospital stay in critical care with a BMI of 15.) You need to get help for her ASAP. Do not wait until she gets to that weight. You know that she is on the downwards spiral right now.  I'm sorry you both are on such a tough road. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc... \n\nAt 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.\n\nAITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######","completion":" NTA\n\nEat the dinner you made and let your wife do what she wants.  \n\nBut I have to tell you, if I spent the whole day cooking and my partner turned it down to spare her parent’s feelings and sacrificed mine?  I wouldn’t cook for them again for a while. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.\n\nLast year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.\n\nHe has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or \/he\/ would cut me off for his own health. \n\nI do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDONT fight HIS battles and cut your own throat. Let him go. You’ve been finding him at your own expense and that’s not enough? \n\nFocus on your life and your future and your relationship with your parents. \n\nHe threatens to cut you loose?  Let him.  Be prepared for him to let your parents know youve been helping him with their money. He doesn’t care about you - you’re a tool to get even with HIS parents. \n\nStep back- It’s his hill to die on not yours ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is \"because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part.\" I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDon’t have kids if you don’t want them and aren’t prepared for the responsibility they require and deserve. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.\n\n Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there. \n\nThen, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDon't think it would be physically possible to drink enough water to alter the bill.\n\nCompromise - keep drinking as much water as you are now, but don't flush the toilet after use. See if he prefers that :) ######"}
{"prompt":"New account for privacy. \n\nI (39F) have been with my boyfriend (40M) for a little over two years. Recently, I have come into a significant amount of money that would allow me to quit my day job and pursue my dream career, or if saved and invested carefully, retire fully. I haven’t disclosed this information to my boyfriend. \n\nI love him, and he says he loves me. Toward the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of discussion about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. Both of us are divorced and this would be a second marriage for us. \n\nMy issue is that his ex-wife and him are still very friendly. They share no children but communicate daily and even have platonic lunches and dinners together. When asked about this, he stated that there will be a part of him that always cares for her and that he needs to be there for her because she doesn’t have anyone else, especially now during the pandemic. I am trying to be understanding about this. \n\nI haven’t told him about my recent windfall because I don’t want him to feel pressure to cut her out of his life and choose me because of the money. I also don’t want to feel obligated to help his ex financially because they are still close friends (which could be a possible conversation that comes up). I do want him, and there’s no one I’d rather share this good fortune with. Everything else in our relationship is going well, and I do feel he could be the one. \n\nHe is in a very good job that he can support himself with, although he doesn’t at all enjoy his work. I could offer him a way out of it and I feel guilty about keeping this from him. At the same time, I would like to know how he sees us moving forward before I tell him about the money. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDon't share this information.  Money changes everything.  I don't think that 2 years is long enough to establish the kind of trust required to lay this economic windfall on him...or anyone else.\n\nKeep this between you and your lawyer and\/or your financial advisor (and never give either any power of attorney!)   You have to become used to having this money all on your own, quietly and personally.  Don't make any big decisions for at least a year.  Keep it to yourself and think, fantasize, consider all the implications of all your future choices.  Until you are on firm ground with what this money could mean, stay quiet about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.\n\nMy ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.\n\nI invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him. \n\nThe party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex. \n\nMy ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”\n\nI’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home. \n\nI spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”\n\nIt felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDon't invite an ex to a birthday party as a friend unless you've spent at least one birthday without them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story. \n\nI tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?\n\nSince people keep asking here is Honey  \nMy baby! https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bn8300N ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDogs don't have names for themselves, they have names for us, and if Honey works better than Peanut, then that's her name.\n\nBoth are super cute dog names, though. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles. \n\nYesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.\n\nAITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######","completion":" NTA\n\ndoesn’t it *suck* when everyone can understand what’s going on?\n\nAnyway I’m deaf. I quite clearly remember when I was at a friends house watching a movie...friend knew I needed the subtitles and had grown to like them too.  He ends up having to defend the use of subtitles because someone’s girlfriend was annoyed because “it ruins all the jokes”. I ended up just saying “I’m deaf. I can’t watch without them.” ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it. \n\nNow, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni. \n\nAs for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified. \n\nWhen I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough. \n\nSo, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDo not under any circumstances give her keys. \n\nIf there are any codes of any sort needed to get into your community, do not give them to her. \n\nAdd an alarm system to your condo, if it doesn’t already have one. \n\nThis is NOT her apartment. \n\nI’d be tempted to call someone - lawyer? Police? idk - to ask if there is some sort of preemptive reporting you can do. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.\n\nThis has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.\n\nFast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.\n\nBecause of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!\n\nTL; DR\nMy grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDO NOT CUT UP THAT PRECIOUS BLANKET ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago but I’m still hearing about it in the family group chat. \n\nCouple months ago my sister in law found out she was pregnant and her views on pregnancy and motherhood (as well as other things) are really strange, at least to me. For instance, the shape of a belly (mild) and how boys and girls should be raised (stereotypes all around). Then as her pregnancy progressed she made her views on birthing very clear: anyone who has a c-section is not fit to be a mother. \n\nI was very confused because I was born via c-section and so was my oldest. I asked her why does she think so, she said that it was the easy way out and a mother should feel the pain for her baby, be one with the baby, and all that. My partner (their sibling) reminded her that I went through a c-section and SIL said, “well, my point still stands, doesn’t it? No offense (my name) but you are a bit absent in your oldest’s life. Is your career really that worth it?” \n\nMe not being a stay at home mom has been a bit of a heated argument with this family for a while. My mil and a couple of the other sister\/brother (it’s a big family) in laws haven’t been okay with it. My partner has no issue with it and either do some of the other in laws, and now she’s brought it up again! \n\nSo I told her the truth about her pregnancy: she doesn’t know who the father is. She keeps seeing her ex despite being with her current boyfriend of about 2 years. There’s not special about either one of them but she claims that she “just can’t quit him,” the other guy. Honestly wanted to barf. \n\nShe got super angry with me and threw a wooden spoon at me. She then stormed out and I got the brunt of it from the others. It’s still happening in the group chat and my father in law is asking if I could just apologize and get it over with since her due date is happening soon. I’m not that interested in apologizing but if you guys think I am I’ll do it. It’s much better to hear about it from a non family member ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDo not apologise to her, you told her the truth.\n\nConsidering how she likes to vocalise her truths about everyone else, it's only right she hears a few about herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16f) sister (22f) keeps taking my clothes and wearing them in front of my friends. This wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t BRAND NEW outfits. That makes it so that when I go to wear the clothes everyone thinks I’m wearing HER clothes. I ended up going to my parents for help because no matter how I react she will not stop raiding my wardrobe. She is constantly telling me all the things she does for me (rides to school, dance class etc.) but I do chores to scrounge together the money to buy decent clothes I like, she has a full time job, doesn’t pay rent and can go buy the clothes SHE wants. I don’t see why she should be entitled to my wardrobe especially when I do all my own shopping. Am I the asshole for involving our parents\/ not letting her wear my clothes? ######","completion":" NTA\n\ndid your parents help? usually in posts like this the parents tell you to share with siblings and family first and all that bs\n\nbut also stop taking favors from her. she thinks you owe her and is taking matters into her own hands to collect her favor debt. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.\n\nMy living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.\n\nMy neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.\n\nApparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were \"flying free\" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.\n\nI told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDid you warn her that being a peeping tom is illegal? ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy\/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?\n\nEdit 1:\nFor those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.\n\nEdit 2: Typo ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDepending on how “not supportive” his parents are however, please keep in mind the repercussions that could arise (for him) if his parents find out.  If they are the type of trash that would throw their son out if they find out he’s wearing eyeliner and nail polish, please please help him to find ways to safely experiment and express himself, without risking them finding out.  Telling someone they have to suppress who they are, or finding out who they are, as a teenager just to maintain a roof over their head really, really sucks... but unfortunately, in many cases (the ones where it’s not actively physically or mentally abusive) it’s better than the alternative of being homeless at 15 or 16.  \n\nEyeliner is easy, you keep it at your home and he uses it only when he’s with you \/ around people that it’s safe with.  It’s easy to remove so no worries there.  For nail polish, with traditional stuff it’s harder to hide.  If hiding it is necessary (and you don’t already have some), look up peel off base coats.  Makes removing nail polish super easy and fast (i.e. his parents show up where you guys are hanging, he can quickly run to the bathroom and remove eyeliner and pop off nail polish without taking so long they get suspicious that he wasn’t just using the bathroom when they arrived.)  \n\nThanks for being his support system when he needs it most!  So many kids in sucky situations don't have that.  \n\nEdit: Typo ######"}
{"prompt":"I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with. \n\nSomeone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day. \n\n((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))\n\nAITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nDefinitely not. They’re the major asshole for trying to put a turtle in such a small tanks. Good for you for sticking up for something with no voice! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22M) fought multiple times with my highschool friend (23F) because of her disapproval of ‘the homosexual lifestyle.’ I want this time to be the last, because after years of explaining, she still doesn't seem to want to understand. (We are from and live in North Africa.) She often tells me about the guys she likes, but when I do the same, she says she doesn't want to hear about it. This last time was triggered by an IG story where she says she does not support the LGBT community. I sent her a message saying that I, too, do not support some thoughts and practices (like genital mutilation, imposed religious conformity, and far-right political parties) because they put some people in danger. I contrasted with that what she says is used to put the lives of many people in danger, and often leads to fatalities. She answered saying that she doesn't accept my homosexuality and I don't accept her homophobia. Her reasoning looks flawed to me. Am I the asshole here ? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCulture aside, that she can somehow bifurcate \"Your homosexuality\" from you is...weird.  You are who you are, and coincidentally you are gay.  They are one in the same.  That she apparently approves of you and your friendship with her yet disapproves of an essential part of your being is..weird.  And , would reasonably make it intolerable.. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (33\/f) was recently dating a guy (29\/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33\/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28\/f) was there quite often.  She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA).  We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot.\n\nWell, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday).  I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up.\n\nRegardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K.  We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life. \n\nI'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us.\n\nI do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCould it get awkward? Sure. But nothing that would make you an A.\n\nFor the time being, don't do anything with her and the brother. Also, don't take it personally if she doesn't agree. Respect her boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.\n\nRecently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.\n\nI replied with \" I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs\". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCould ALMOST be an r\/murderedbywords ######"}
{"prompt":"I attend a university where community building &amp; bonding is extremely important. Everyone is family in a sense and we just love to have fun and help each other out. We have a ton of orgs on campus, and each org has a GroupMe account, so does most classes as students use them to share answers, asks questions and just talk. These GroupMe’s are also used to wish each other good luck, happy holidays and to campaign for on campus elections. For example, when I pledged my sorority I had several people in my GM chats congratulate me even though we’re not necessarily friends. It’s also not normal for people to wish each other a happy holiday. (Happy founders day, happy thanksgiving, happy St. Patty’s day and so forth) \n\nWell, this past Easter we had an issue where a Muslim student was really upset that people in her GroupMe chats had been wishing each other a happy Easter. She said it was extremely disrespectful to her and her religion and that she would leave each and every chat she was in because of it. Then she went on Instagram to further say that anyone who wished a happy Easter in a chat that she was in was disrespectful and should’ve known better. I was confused because while I am Christian I come from a dominantly Islamic family and I had never heard from any of them even the elders that something like this was an issue. She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays so we shouldn’t be wishing each other a happy Easter as it was a slap in the face for her. I really just don’t see it that way though. I know that no one would blink an eye if she was to say happy Ramadan or some other Muslim holiday. I wasn’t upset, just more annoyed with the social media and GroupMe tirade she went on. \n\nAITA for not seeing an issue with wishing people a happy Easter on GroupMe? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nComing from an Atheist, I do not see the problem with wishing people a happy easter as presumably a large amount of people in your country observe that holiday, whether that be for religious or non-religious reasons. She is in the minority in this case, but no one is attacking her or preventing her from practicing Islam. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot. \n\nI was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped. \n\nFor about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.\n\nThere were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did. \n\nThis is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nChild support is your son's right. Not yours.\n\nIt is time for Julie to do the bear minimum, which is to help pay for her child's upbringing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,\n\nAlright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke. \n\nOnce I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well. \n\nWell, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside” \n\nBack when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here” \n\nSo now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out” \n\nEntirely logical in my opinion. \n\nTL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCan't have one set of rules at their house and expect everyone else to carry them over. Maybe you were a tad harsh with the language, but sometimes that's the only way to get through people's thick heads. ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for telling people about a \"closed\" meeting with management?   I work for a national discount retail chain that we will call amilyfa ollarda.  My mum, who lived in europe, passed away three weeks ago from coronavirus.   Trying to give work advanced notice, I told my manager I would need 2 weeks off to go to europe, arrange and attend her funeral, and settle her estate.  \n   I was called in the office today and told I could only take 48 hours bereavement leave.   I explained that I can not get there and back in 48 hours.   I was told it was their policy and my job would not be held past that.  \n   I was upset due to the fact that I've been working hard through this pandemic to help my community, while not being given masks, proper gloves, or much in the way of ppe until the past few days.   And they want to replace me for wanting to bury my mum?\n  I was told that I'm an a-hole for telling a few close friends about what was said while I was upset.   Being a fairly new immigrant, I'm unused to certain things in my new home, mainly people's aversion to personal time off.  I spoke to my spouse and a few friends to see if this is common in the us.  Aita? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCall your boss’s supervisor; the regional manager.  Tell the situation.  Record the call.  \n\nIf that person is similarly unreasonable, tell your local community press; give them call recording. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background:So I live in a trailer because of family complications and we have 2 two dogs (Chihuahuas)\n\nMy dad was working on the plumbing in the back of the trailer because it's an old model and the plumbing was old so we were replacing it.\n\nWe have a little fence in our front yard so the dogs can eat and drink out of a fountain that my dad made that has filtered water going through it and we clean it everyday \n\nWe had the dogs out at the time so they could do there thing and my dad went around the front and saw the youngest neighbor that is about 6 years old pouring motor oil into the water and splashing onto them and they were drinking it. My dad grabbed the oil out of his hands and immediately thew it away and we tried to call the vet to see what we could do but it's closed. So we researched and found that if you give them hydrogen peroxide in there mouth they  would throw it up so we did that and they only thew up the hydrogen peroxide and nothing else.\n\nWe had to clean out the whole filtration system since the oil had clumps in it. We were worried that our cats might drink it since they like to drink it from the fountain so we locked them in since we already had a litter box and everything.\n\nWe went to talk to the mother about this and she said she told them to do it since we had called the cops on them for a previous incident.\n\nWe threatened to called the cops on them since we were really pissed but I have to ask WIBTA if I called the cops on the mom? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCALL THE COPS IMMEDIATELY, it's violence on animals, and FFS, get a restraining order... my gosh the nerve of some people... ######"}
{"prompt":"I, f13, have a 29 year old step mom after my dad cheated on my bio mom and impregnated her. He cheated because of selfish and personal reasons involving me. They now have 5 kids together, Alyviya, who's 9, Madden and Maverick, 7, Alaiya, 5, and Maxx, 4. My mom also has remarried, but I get along with my step dad and his kid. Because of some messed up custody, I spend the school year with my dad and the summer with my mom. I mostly keep to myself, study, and just kinda drift along. My dad and his wife are fine with ignoring me, and it works out fine. They have their kids and their worries, and I'm not one of them.  Anyway,  a couple  nights ago they told me that dad's wife's cousin had passed away and that they would be leaving to a closeby state. I thought they were going that least take the older ones, but no. I have to take care of five kids under 10.  My dad hit me with the usual stupid crap about how they're my siblings and how I'm obliged to take care of them, with wife nodding stupidly along. Then, they just leave. No instructions or anything. I just gave them a refried dinner and let them watxh TV until about 9, told them to go to bed, ad that was it. They refused, of course. I gave up at one point.  At noon, I'm exhausted and I figured that they were just late or stuck in traffic. By 6, I was feeling murderous and checked their vacation. They're halfway across the country at a known vacation spot. I text them, and they just give a little lie and stop answering. When I threatened to call 911 for child neglect, they came back and refused to talk to me for \"ruining their vacation.\" There were some choice words exchanged, and basically I told them I wanted to move to my mom's full time. So, reddit, AITA?\n\nSorry for format, on mobile\n\nTL;DR - dad and stepmom left me with their five kids under ten because they said they  had to go to a funeral, when instead they were halfway across the country on vacation. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nCall and make a report to CPS.  This is neglect.\n\nAlso, call your Mom and have her come get you.  Immediately. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my youngest SIL and BIL, husband's brother, moved into my MIL's house after my FIL died. We thought it was a good idea at first.\nShe'd have help around the house and yard.\n\nExcept that's not what happened.\n\nMy MIL cooks for them, washes their clothes and dishes. My husband goes over to mow the yard and do yard work.\n\nSo, 3 times a week(pre-covid),I'd take  my MIL out. We'd spend most of the day together. My sister in law HATES these days and always tries to get mom to stay.\n\nShe needs help with her 3 children after all. They are all still in diapers and she hates leaving them in dirty ones for so long. She refuses to change diapers. \n\nSo, I've intentionally put my sister in law out to give mom a break. I also make a point that mom isn't her maid every time I go over ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBy the way, came over here from your other post about the wedding dress, and I gotta say, this just made me hate SIL more. \n\nShe’s got three kids and acts this way?? Lord help those kids. Bless that MIL for putting up with this, but she really doesn’t have to, and she shouldn’t just allow this to happen. I know it’s a delicate situation, being the in-law family, but I’d absolutely hold an intervention over this and try to get MIL to make some ultimatums to set for SIL. This is not okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years back, when I was 17, my husband  was 22 and our friend was 24 (I'll call our friend Hannah and husband David, just to avoid confusion these are fake names, we obviously weren't married at this point and had only just started dating)\n\nHannah and David worked together as cashiers, they grew close and I considered Hannah a friend, not a close friend but someone I could trust.\n\nEveryone moved on in life, we both got  jobs we were both happy in and eventually moved a while away.\n\nIt's been 12 years, 2 years ago we were still seeing  Hannah every so often and my husband is still in contact with her - but it was so much more low contact, they saw each other maybe every few weekends but I trust my husband and Hannah.\n\nWell about 7 months ago David told me he offered to start babysitting for her, we had a 2month old at that point that my husband barely looked after so I assumed it was an empty promise.\n\nThe baby is here basically every day, I work from home but my husband is currently working - does this mean hes looking after both children? Nope! I'm expected to do everything and work still.\n\nHe brings Hannah home cooked meals because she is an essential worker and is tired, it would be decent if he cooked them himself but nope I cook them, he doesnt even cook for me! (Wait, no correction he made me toast for breakfast this morning)\n\nI've told him it has to stop, we are expecting again and I need him to care for OUR children.\n\nHe accused me of being controlling and overdramatic since Hannah is a friend , insensitive because she works \"more\" than I do - how is that comparable? He can look after 3 children and if he wants to do that he can.\n\nWell, my friends agree that maybe I'm letting my pregnancy hormones get in the way and its showing in a lack of trust in David and he has the right to be upset.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut, this marriage needs to end soon for two reasons. First so you can find someone who supports and loves you. Second , so he can be with Hannah and she can put up with his bullshit. ######"}
{"prompt":"**(I doubt it matters, but this isn't a personal situation. This is my friend's and she asked me to create this since she doesn't have a Reddit and has no interest in one.)**\n\nMy son and DIL announced their pregnancy on Mother's Day when she was only a few weeks along. Last week, they went to an appointment only to discover there wasn't a heartbeat. Both my son and DIL were devastated. My DIL's dream is to become a mother, so I can only imagine how much this shook her.\n\nMy husband accepted the news pretty quickly. My son is steadily recovering. My DIL is very withdrawn now, but I try to be there whenever she wants\/needs someone. \n\nMy daughter (29 and childfree) and I were discussing it a few hours ago.  She was pressing for DIL to keep trying and not wait. I explained to her in some cases it's safer to wait and DIL is allowed to grieve as long as she needs, because she in fact had a connection with the child. My daughter sort of blew this off. She kept insisting they need to get back on that horse. She finished with, if she ever had a miscarriage, she would try right away, but that's just because she's headstrong and tough.\n\nI was fuming at her at this point. I told her she's being disgusting, foul and a disrespect b word and while I hope she never endures that, if she has a miscarriage she'll learn quickly it's not something you get over because you're 'headstrong'. She left in tears. I was harsh and maybe more mad at myself for rising someone who could say such horrible things, but I don't think I was over the line. My husband things otherwise. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta\n\nBut your daughter is for judging how someone grieves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.\n\nBACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.\n\nNow that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.\n\nHe didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.\n\nThey sleep in till 8-9am every day.\n\nNow yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nSo this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.\n\nI told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nHe isn't speaking to me \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut you already know that.  \"He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.\"\n\nTell him it's his turn to pull his weight parenting. And tell him it's not okay for him to keep you up because he wants to play video games. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17m) am the oldest son in my family. I have 4 younger siblings (14f, 8f, 5m and 2f). My mom expects me to watch my siblings when she isn't home. Needless to say, I'm tired of it. I never get to go to parties. Neither do I get to hang out with my friends. In fact, I hardly ever have time for myself. Last time I went on a date with my girlfriend and came home late, my mom got mad at me because I didn't change my youngest sister's diapers. \n\nToday, my mom announced she's going to have another child. It's not that I don't want her to have a child, but I really don't want to watch another sibling. When I told my mom I'm tired of being a \"babysitter\" and that I won't watch her children, she called me selfish and an asshole for not being happy for her.\n\nMy aunt and grandma agrees with me but my dad said I was wrong and that I should be happy for him and my mom. My mom said I \"hurt her feelings\" and that she's disappointed in me.\n\nBut I said it's not my responsibility to watch her children.\n\nThat said, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBUT what the fuck is her plan for when you move out? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.\n\nMy living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.\n\nMy neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.\n\nApparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were \"flying free\" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.\n\nI told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut this woman is creepy.\n\nUnless you're conveniently leaving out that you were topless as well as braless. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year. \n\n\nWe live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway. \n\n\nSo shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one. \n\n\nHis lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision. \n\n\n\nHe has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago. \n\n\nI don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on. \n\n\nI can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nbut this is probably going to end the relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (36M) have a 17 year old son, “Trent.” He’s a really kind and bright kid, but he’s been making some bad choices this year. Last fall, he got ISS for smoking a blunt with his friend in the schools’ maintenance shed. They apparently broke in, damaging the door. \n\nNow, my son has a used Sentra that I bought for him. He pays a little bit towards the insurance and gas, and he takes it to school in the mornings. Back in late February before the lockdown, I was cleaning out my car and decided to vacuum his too. I found a large bag of weed and some gummies in his truck under some dirty clothes. There was also a pipe. \n\nI was pretty pissed, and I disposed of them and took back his car until I could trust him again. He kicked up a fuss about getting to school, but I told him to walk. The school is only two miles and my state has mild winters. \n\nWell, the virus shut down his school soon after, so he only really walked to school for a couple times. I told him I’d consider giving the car back once life resumes, but if i find drugs again, I’m calling the police and considering an inpatient facility. \n\nAITA? Some might say I was too harsh, but I just want my son to be safe. I got his mom pregnant when we were 18, and I want him to have a chance at a better life then I had. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut the idea of inpatient treatment for weed is hilarious. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F) and my Bf (M) have been dating for a year and a half and he’s had this female bestfriend for a few years now, her and I have hung out and we’ve been to each other’s houses before, I trusted her with my issues and as did she. \n\nOn April 10th 2020 she sent my boyfriend a long letter confessing her love for him that she’s had for years and neither of them wanted to tell me or let me see the letter, I have since seen it and know about this. \n\nHe has had feelings for her in the past and they’ve gotten closer since the letter and cuddle when they’re alone. \n\nI’ve expressed my feelings on this matter and he always says it’s not a big deal and that I need to get over myself and he leaves me all the time for her and has secret calls with her.\n\nAITA for wanting him to stop talking to her, I feel extremely uncomfortable with her being alone with him and I’m constantly worried somethings going to happen. I also don’t believe I can stay with him much longer if they continue as friends ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut sweet girl, you're being played. You can fight this, all you want, and I totally get being in love and wanting to fight for the relationship. However, this is going to happen, no matter what you do. \n\nHe got a love letter from someone else, and as a result he decided to get *closer* to that person. The writing's on the wall. He keeps you on the back burner, while he's \"testing the waters\" with his friend.\n\nThe question is just how much pain you wanna go through before you decide to cut your losses. From one internet stranger to another: you deserve better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently I've been having trouble sleeping. I only get around 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I think it's because of stress from work, Corona, and a ton of other stuff going on right now. My wife on the other hand is sleeping 10 hours a day.\n\nBecause of this I'm up when she's sleeping and she is constantly telling me I'm making noise when I'm not. At first she was texting me saying needed to turn the volume down on the TV or my phone and I would. Soon I figured that I shouldn't use electronics while she's sleeping and stopped, but she still kept texting me. I told her I had turned electronics off and she said I was lying. \n\nA few days ago she came into the living room yelling that I wasn't responding to her texts and that I needed to turn the volume on my phone down. I informed her that my phone had died and was currently charging. She accused me of gas lighting her even after I showed her the phone off and charging at less than 5% battery life. \n\nTonight I started getting texts again saying I was listening to music on my phone too loud. I told her she was lying and that she couldn't hear anything. She started saying that I was an asshole and I was has lighting her and that she knew I was listening to music on my phone. I told her that I was indeed listening to music on my phone, and I had it at full volume. I'm only saying that she couldn't hear it. \n\nShe went on for probably 4 or 5 more texts before I sent her a pin of my location 4 miles away and said, \"I'm on a late night run through the park. You cannot hear my music.\"\n\nShe says I'm the AH for letting her go on for so long without telling her how I knew she couldn't hear it and that I was only trying to embarrass her. I say that it was necessary for her to finally see the problem and stop.\n\nI'll leave it to you guys. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut she is either being an asshole here or she is having auditory hallucinations. You should talk to her and if she honestly was hearing stuff while you weren't even around it may be time to go see a doctor. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.\n\nI don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even. \n\nHowever, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######","completion":" NTa\n\nBUT on a side note, I would make sure you always take her bottle. Not because of mixing stuff up but because if there is any kind of emergency and your husband has to take medication with her to the hospital then having your bottle would be a big problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay I know this sounds really gross, but she says its 100% normal for programmers, and gamers to have.\n\nShe has these large tea bottles, that she presses against her urethra, and pees into instead of going to the bathroom.\n\nShe leaves these on desks, and I think its disgusting, I told her to stop it but she just wont listen.\n\nShe says shes an adult and she can pee where ever she wants.\n\nI told her its my apartment, and she is forbidden from having these jugs.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut more importantly OP, this sounds like a mental disorder. This behavior is beyond extreme. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us. \n\nMy wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game). \n\nAnyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup. \n\nSo I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep. \n\nBecause of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over. \n\nOne morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.” \n\nLast winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok. \n\nThere’s more but this post is already getting long. \n\nSo fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc. \n\nWe basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that. \n\nMy wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids. \n\nThis guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen. \n\nAITA for not inviting the kids? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nbut if you don’t have a fence, what’s stopping them from playing in it when you’re not looking? these neighbours seem like the type to just wait until you’re not home and let their kids do whatever they want ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger sister has been assigned loads of school work, one of the subjects being art. They have her do drawings then colour them in. Now she doesn’t have any of her own markers, so she uses mine that I got for christmas. I wouldn’t mind if they were cheap Crayola Markers, but these ones are expensive, especially the skin tone ones that are a good 35$. And it’s not like shes been using them for small assignments, she uses them for drawings on a much larger scale. If it was once or twice I wouldn’t mind, but she’s been using them constantly and some of them are starting to dry out. I keep telling her to stop using them as they are my markers. She tells me that markers are meant to be used that I barely use them. I tell her that it’s none of her business how often I use them and that they are meant to be used by me. She will not budge with her, “they are meant to be used“ excuse and refuses to stop using them or acknowledge that they still belong to me. Now she’s all huffy at me because of it. Most people have sided with me but a few have said I’m in the wrong. Am I the A-hole for not letting her use my expensive markers for her constant art assignments? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut can't you\/your parents get her some cheap ones? Then she won't need yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.\n\n I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.\n\nHe was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut be mad because he got a tattoo done under age and that any place he could have gone to is not a reputable tattoo place. If he's not getting his tattoos done by reputable people who will do a good and safe job then he's not old enough or mature enough to get tattoos. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nShe decided to put away a bottle of edibles in the pantry, then they somehow were moved to the dinner table. It's a pastel pink colored bottle. The kids could easily mistake them for candy. I have pre teens and 2 younger kids. \n\nMy one year old was able to open the bottle with ease. Thankfully none of the kids consumed any.\n\nI yelled at her quite harshly because I'm exhausted from work all week and am very irritable when sleepy. I told her they need to be in the medicine cabinet or somewhere more secure. You don't just leave any kind of drug just accessible to kids.\n\nShe's now mad at me for yelling at her....... Simple as that. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBut also please note that \"flipping out\" on your spouse in front of your children being potentially traumatizing (or at least just scary and not good) and your spouse making a scary choice that needed to be bluntly addressed can both be true at the same time. \n\nStill NTA vote instead of everyone shitty because I think it's unfortunate but true that safety issues can make is behave in ways we wouldn't normally. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 21 and he is 26; however, I am much further into my professional career than he is. He wanted to move it of our mothers house at the beginning of this year so I let him move in with me. The deal was he's give me 150 every check to help with rent and food and I'd cover everything else. We also said that he should be saving atleast half of the rest of his money every month so that he can get a place if his own soon.\nIn the last few months, he started paying me less and this month he didn't give me anything despite the fact that he is still working. He told me that since I work from home I should just work more hours and get paid more. \n\nYesterday, several packages came to the door for him that all together cost about $300 dollars. I told him that if he could afford to pay that he can afford a studio apartment and kicked him out. \n\nHe called our mom and she is telling me I should let him come back because he doesn't know how to be smart with money yet so we need to be patient with him. \n\nIn my opinion, he should've learned how to be smart with money a long time ago\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nBest way he can learn to be smart with money is to actually need to be smart with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons\/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc. \nThings were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it. \nSo one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for. \nSince then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAtheism is the belief in no God. Meaning that by trashing you for being an atheist, she is trashing your beliefs. At that point, it's fair game for you to trash her beliefs if you want. There was certainly a better way you could've said that to her, but she can't be mad when she's done the same thing to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is so stupid I know, but here it goes. Background: I (27F) have wanted to get matching tattoos with my husband (33M) for years. We have been together for 9 years now. Not like each other’s names or anything crazy, but something that symbolizes our relationship. Every idea I’ve had he’s shot down, and he hasn’t put forth any ideas. \n\nFast forward to today, when he says that he wants to get a tattoo of a rubber duck with 2 guys that he works with. I’m sure it’s an inside joke or something. One of the guys he has known less than a year, and the other he’s worked with for a few years. So it’s not like they’re best friends or anything. \n\nI told him it bothered me that I’ve been trying to plan a tattoo with him for years, but he decides at the drop of a hat he wants to get a random tattoo with 2 guys he really doesn’t know all that well. He got mad and said I “just don’t understand”, which apparently he’s right because I don’t. Admittedly I feel a bit left out, almost jealous.\n\nI know that it his body, he is an adult and it is his choice. I’m not trying to tell him not to get a tattoo with them, or to force him to get just any tattoo with me. That’s ridiculous. I just wonder if I’m making something out of nothing here. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAt this point, it's not about the physical tattoo itself. It's about the principle of leading someone on about an idea they're actually passionate about. It's even worse because you're his wife and you'd expect that he'd at least be able to communicate with you if he didn't want to do the tattoo idea with you. \n\nHe doesn't sound very empathetic about how you feel to be left out of an idea that you've asked for, for so long, that he's instead executing with some people he pretty much just met. ######"}
{"prompt":"i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go. \ni don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point.. \nthey were not planning to pay me either. \ni’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAsking that way is super shitty because it makes it very hard for you to say no. You are never obligated to babysit for someone you don't want to. And you s shouldn't do work for someone that's not going to pay you.\n\nJust say no. No explanation given. No, I do not 2wnt to babysit your kids. \n\nThey're being cheap assholes. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first post on this sub, however, I'm kinda nervous about posting this, since I do know that some friends have reddit and may rat me out if they ever find this...\n\nAnyway, today is the beginning of July, meaning that my birthday falls this month. I had everything planned out for my birthday party: dates, events (which can still work out since restrictions are at ease) and most importantly, guests.\n\nI wanted to invite a specific group of people as they are my close friends and they have been there for me for years. But do you ever have that friend that wants to go to every outing you go to and ask why they aren't invited? Those people irk me...\n\nOne of my friends found out that my birthday was this month and asked if we were going out for drinks. I told him that he wasn't invited since everything was all planned out. Other than him not being close to me, he wants me to get super drunk one night to the point where I can't walk and my liver gets fucked and perhaps want me to embarrass myself in public.\n\nI was pretty straightforward with telling him that he wasn't one of my guests. However, other friends just ganged up against me saying that I'm dogging them. \n\nI just felt that it is my party and I can invite who I'd like to. I just want it to be a chill party with a small group of friends and I could perhaps have a drink or two and not something super rowdy with a large group where I just can't walk the next day.\n\nKind of feel like the asshole, but I feel that Reddit should debate this based on my situation...\n\nTLDR: Planned a party, friend finds out about birthday, told him that he wasn't invited, other friends accused me of \"dogging the boys\" ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAs you said, it‘s your party and you decide who to invite. Also, you said that the two of you aren‘t close, plus the fact that he said he wants you to do stuff that embarasses you when drunk is a massive no go. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.\n\nI'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted. \n\nWe've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here. \n\nBob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being \"insubordinate\" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.\n\nHonestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAs long as you aren’t flying something like a nazi flag I don’t see what it matters what’s on your flag pole in your yard on your property. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (m35) close best friends\/ soul mates with this guy (M39), and we live together. We've both been friends since i was 17 and he was 22. We meet in a book club when i was in high school. \n\nWe moved in because of not many houses being avalibale and i though it was awesome to move in with my best friend. We share a bed and sometimes fuck because we both have a high libdio and have a connection. And since hes at home now, we fuck like 5 days a week and its amazing lol.He takes care of me and works a office job and i'm currently unemployed so i cook for him and do laundry etc. He treats me like a prince and protects me. He's gay, and i don't give a shit but like being taken care of. I love that i can live with my best friend, and don't have to live alone. \n\nHe has health issues (asthma, and heart disease runs in his family) and is overweight and i didn't want anything to happen to him so about a month ago we got \"married\" (just went to the courthouse, no wedding.) so can get my health insurance if he gets sick or i die. \n\nI don't talk to my family, since they don't like me. I'm a athiest stoner, and the oldest son in family. My family are all italian catholics, and want me to marry a girl from another family i don't know. \n\none day he was going to pay the taxes before everything closes down, and i smoked a little to relax. My mother calls me, and starts talking about how i should i be thinking about babies and marriage since we're all die soon.\n\nShe doesn't know about me and his \"marriage\" or \"relationship\", and i don't want her to know. \n\nBut since i was high, i was very relaxed and stopped thinking it was my mom talking. I told her about that i got \"married\", and she became furious. She started talking about it's wrong or whatever. Now they won't let me talk to my lil brothers or cousins.\n\nAITA for \"marrying\" my best friend? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAre you sure married should be in \"\"? Sounds like you got a pretty good relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me. \n\nHe posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. \"broke the bro code\", \"check my privilege\" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on \"shallow tinder girls\".\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nApp dating is a numbers game, and frankly he's picked the worse one, outside of Grindr for gender representation. It's something like for every 10 or 20 profiles that are men, there's one woman.\n\nSo yeah, women can be a lot more picky on tinder. If he wants better odds he should opt for a different one that's not primarily used for hookups. Or he better improve his profile to stand out more. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL and I do not get along. Weeks prior to the wedding, I told her that she shouldn't do anything to mess up my day. My wedding has already been downsized and I'm not having it with her and her actions. \n\nMy wedding comes, I walk down the \"aisle\" and lo and behold, she is wearing the whitest dress I have ever seen. It's whiter than my own.\n\nI reach the end, my family joins around me to take photos. I grab my brother and have my SIL get kicked out of the photoshoot. I made sure she isn't in any of my wedding photos. \n\nShe started crying. My other brother comes to her defense. I know for a fact she has other dresses. She claims none of them were formal enough. I would have rather her come in a halter dress than a white dress. It was dilberate and I was having none of it. \n\nMy mother said I was too harsh. Honestly, if it were up to me, she wouldn't have come to the wedding at all. My husband agrees, he knows how much of pain SIL is. The rest of my family just kept silent thank God. \n\nNote: My family and I decided to hold my wedding at our house instead of postponing it. In my country, it's not unusual for the whole extended family to live together so we thought it was practical to just hold the wedding at home since most of the family is there. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAny woman wearing white to a wedding is automatically the asshole. It's a thing. It has been for ages.\n\nShe had time to get another dress if she needed to, so she CHOSE to wear this specifically.\n\n(EDIT: Any woman except the bride\/if it's been agreed on beforehand) ######"}
{"prompt":"Title is pretty self explanatory.\n\nHe works with men 90% of the time, but sometimes their wives come out to the property, and then he has a social worker that visits 1-2x a week, as it is an inpatient facility he works at- and she comes to do work ups on some of the patients.\n\nAnyway- several months ago I asked about the SW. His words were “she’s fat and not attractive at all. You have nothing to worry about.” \n\nLo and behold, we run into this gal at the store a couple of weeks ago. She’s drop dead gorgeous, her body is a 10, and she has an infectious smile. Does he introduce me? Nope. \n\nSo after I throw a pregnant bitch fit, I finally shut up. He tells me that they’re never in his office alone, people are always around, blah blah blah.\n\nSo here we are- and he has another broad hitting him up with “time flies when you’re having fun” messages online, kissy winky faces, you name it. Once again- I ask about her.\n\n“Oh- she’s XYZ’s wife. Nothing to worry about.”\n\nI am firm in the belief that if you don’t set boundaries with someone- that they will try to push the line, more times than not.\n\nIt’s been 2 days, and I’m still upset. I’m pregnant, and getting bigger by the day. He blames it on my hormones, and I blame it on the fact that he won’t set any fucking boundaries in his work life, which in my mind will eventually lead to an affair- emotional or physical. \n\nThat being said- AITA for wanting him to set boundaries with these women and remind them that he is in fact- very married? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAnd this is very telling to me:\n\n>several months ago I asked about the SW. His words were “she’s fat and not attractive at all. You have nothing to worry about.”\n\nIf the first thing out of his mouth is \"you have nothing to worry about,\" then you should probably start worrying.  It's like when you call your kid's name, and the first words out of their mouth are, \"I didn't do it!\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby.\n\nThat made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again.\n\nI thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep.\n\nThe plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month. \n\nTwo weeks ago though my  roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore.\n\nAfter that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it.\n\nEarlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do.\n\nI totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nand keep in mind, if you decided to stay for her, in 3 weeks she could turn around and tell you \"hey we made up and I need you out of here so we can start our family\". ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.\n\nInitially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.\n\nSo yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.\n\nIn that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.\nWell, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.\n\nI called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.\n\nEveryone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAnd a funfact I learned on Youtube: Being open on winning the lottery increases your chances to get murdered\/mugged drastically. Have fun with this tidbit. ######"}
{"prompt":"This incident happened some time ago.\n\nWe’re both in university. This semester she went on exchange to Australia. She left Canada Feb 2nd, but went to her hometown on Dec 22nd after final exams because she wanted to spend that time with her family until she left. For that reason we did our Christmas gift exchange early. I got her a really nice necklace in Morse code, a designer hoodie, and a pair of Beats headphones. I ordered the beats Dec 6th but the shipping was delayed big time (I think there was a postal strike? can’t remember) and so I didn’t get the headphones in time for her to have it. When I told her that, she asked what color the headphones are and I got them in blue because that’s her favourite color. She seemed a bit disappointed and and when I asked her what’s wrong she said she’d have preferred the grey.\n\nFast forward a few weeks. The headphones finally came in around Jan 20th and I went to Best Buy to return them. I did this because **I found the exact same pair on Amazon, brand new, in the color she wanted, and a much cheaper price**. Plus I have Amazon prime so I had 2 day shipping. I pulled the trigger and ordered it right to her house on Jan 21st.\n\nWhen I told her about this she was pissed off at me because i Didn’t disclose that I was doing all that. She was also afraid that the Beats wouldn’t come in before she left on Feb 2nd. For the life of me I still can’t understand why she was mad. I mean yeah I suppose I didn’t tell her, but I got what she wanted, for a better price. I should also note that the headphones were delivered way before she left so that wasn’t an issue but she said she still didn’t appreciate it. Was I the asshole here? I thought I was being thoughtful and now I feel a bit unappreciated. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAm I understanding correctly that the reason she was upset is because she wanted the Beats that absolutely arrived on time (and you could have sent to her at her house) versus potentially NOT getting the pair you ordered from Amazon on time?\n\nI can understand why she might be anxious about not having the headphones before her trip and maybe hoped you would send the blue pair anyway just to make sure (and let her return the ones she didn’t keep to you), but that doesn’t make you an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.\n\n I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her \"ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me\". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it). \n\nAITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAlso, stop giving your sister any money, even if it's loans.  She's an adult and living on her own.  She needs to butt out of your business and take care of herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line. \n\nDue to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall. \n\nA couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all.  After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAlso, if your mum knows that Grandma is vegetarian but doesn't buy it make any vegetarian food, she's actually not trying and I'd even argue that she's doing it on purpose and then plays victim that \"she tries so hard and then it's worthless\". \n\nHave a good, hard look at your mother's behaviour. Including not filling the prescriptions for Grandma on time as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship.  Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAlso your boyfriend is definitely not over her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello. I bought my parents a house and specified that it was for both of them when I was giving it to them. I told them they could either live there together, or vacation there, or visit separately, I don’t care. But I promised them both half. \n\nI just found out that my father lives there with his mistress and my mother doesn’t know but he makes her not feel comfortable when she brings up the idea to visit. By the way, they’re still married. Would I be the asshole if I gave him a warning and if he didn’t comply, kick him out? \n\nTo specify, I STRONGLY think it would be an asshole move which is why I haven’t done it yet. But I love my mum and I think she deserves to be able to visit whenever she wants, or at least half the time. ######","completion":" NTA\n\nAbsolutely and totally. \n\nYou have not bought the house as a love nest to your father and his mistress, you bought the house for your parents and your mother can't use it because of your asshole father. ######"}
{"prompt":"so my whole family and my neighbours whole family are calling me rude and insensitive but i personally don't see it that way. a bit of background: currently everyone in my family works during the day so i am the only one home during the day as i work at night. \n\nfor the past week everyday my neighbours toddler aged child has come to our house and continuously banged on the door for at least 10 minutes until i get up and answer it, usually his mum will not even be with him as he has just ran out of their house or she will be at the end of the drive way, she is never actually with him at the door to stop him from banging on it, and even when i tell him my mum isn't home (thats who he wants to see) he wont stop banging, screaming or trying to come inside. usually i'll have to either let him inside to show him that no one is here or i just close the door and let him sit there screaming and crying until his mum decides to do something about it. personally if i wasn't working i wouldn't care like okay just let the kid in show him no one is home and then let him leave without a problem. but now everyday without a doubt he wakes me up and then i find it hard to go back to sleep so i'm not getting any sleep all because of this situation. i've asked nicely if the neighbour can get the kid to come down earlier in the morning so ill still be awake or in the evening so ill be up but she just says that at around midday he gets really upset from having to stay inside and he wont stop screaming until he comes down to my house, but personally i don't see why i should have to sacrifice my sleep because she cant get her kid to stop screaming unless he comes down to my house. \n\nso AITA for being frustrated that my neighbours child bangs on our door everyday ######","completion":" NtA\n\nA toddler walking to your home everyday and banging on your door and screaming while the mother knowingly does nothing to stop him tells me she's a very neglectful parent. You've talked with her about it and her response is that the kid gets riled up around midday and won't stop screaming until he comes to your house. WTF? There's no middle ground here. Call CPS. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Here’s a backstory: My brother (16M) and I (18F) have a horrible relationship. We live in the same house with my parents, and we rarely speak to each other. I’ve never ever touched any of his belongings because frankly why would I want to. He has nothing that I want to do with. Lately, he’s been touching my belongings and has went in my room twice to do God knows what. I haven’t noticed anything off in my room, however when we were younger he would tell me how he used to put deodorant (and who knows what else) on my toothbrush if I got on his nerves or made him mad. This resonates with me as he has slammed my bedroom door shut and I’ve seen him leave my room and ignore me when I ask what he wants. I’ve told my parents about this and they talked to him, but he told them I was being annoying and left. They haven’t tried again after that. So recently, I bought a keypad to hook on my door, but I told my parents to pay for it as they can’t seem teach him to respect other people’s belongings and that I shouldn’t have to resort to this if everyone just minds their own. So WIBTA for making them pay for my lock on my door? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nA lot of people have such an issue with how “adult children should know their place” 🙄\n\nLook, you’re not an asshole for asking, especially since you pay rent. They also wouldn’t be assholes for saying no, although you really should have gotten them to choose the lock so it could match the door (property value). \n\nThey *are* assholes for not raising your brother better and your brother is an asshole too. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I was randomly added to a mom group on Facebook even though I'm not a mom. I saw a bunch of these moms posting that they wanted to gather their kids together for \"playdates\" and their intentions are similar to that of pox parties. The idea is to build immunity.\n\nI made a post that it is cruel to intentionally expose your kids to make them sick. I didn't expect the responses I got which were mainly along the lines of \"my kid my choice\" or \"don't tell me how to parent my kid\". I told these moms that their kids deserved better.\n\nThen I got banned for \"insulting different parenting techniques and shaming moms\"\n\nI dont think I did or said anything wrong but, at least 50 moms disagree. AITA for telling these moms not to make their kids sick? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nA covid19 party for kids!\n\nFFS what is any of them had undiagnosed medical issues and died as a result.\n\nWhat if the kid carried the virus to someone who was immune compromised or had underlying medical issues.\n\nYou'd be risking their lives and the lives of others. ######"}
{"prompt":"My spouse and I have a recurring argument that revolves around their desire to have our 5 year old sleep in our bed. If it were an emergency situation, my child wasn’t feeling well or there was a severe storm or something like that I am fine with them sleeping in our bed. Also, as a compromise I let our child sleep in our bed once a week, typically on a Friday night when it isn’t a work\/school night and it’s not that big a deal if we all don’t get a great night’s rest. \n\nLately, my spouse has been asking for our child to sleep in our bed at least one additional evening without much reasoning. I protest because I feel it’s unnecessary to disrupt our child’s sleep pattern (which is otherwise very good &amp; normal!) and I personally do not sleep as well with less space in the bed, fighting over blankets and repeatedly getting woken up, etc. I put my foot down and refuse (at least once a week) causing a fight with my spouse who inevitably goes up to sleep with my child in their bed. They think I am controlling and think it is unfair my “vote” counts more than theirs in that I get the “final decision.” AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\nA child that age should sleep by themselves but perhaps your SO is using your child as a security blanket given the current situation. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism of knowing the child is close and safe ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today. \nMy partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.\n\nHave I acted irrationally? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n400$ for three months is NOTHING. Make those squatters find a new place. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister is 25f I am 20f, I currently go to college and my sister is a house wife.\n\nRecently my sister found out she could not have children. For the longest time she wanted kids so I obviously felt bad for her. Well about 2 weeks ago she came to me and asked if I could be her surrogate and that she would pay for all the expenses including an apartment so I wouldn't have to live with my parents.\n\nI told her no immediately because i'm in college and I know how my sister gets when she doesn't get her way. She basically called me a bitch and how I wasn't going to let her be a mom and other bullshit. I just told her that if she wants to be a mom, adopt a kid because there are so many children in the world that need a family. She said she didn't want a used kid she wanted someone who was related to her.\n\nAfter I told this to my parents my dad was on my side completely and told me that I was too young to even be asked that question. But my mother blew up at me saying that I was a bitch because i'm preventing her and my sister for being a mother and a grandmother. I have received messages from family members and friends of my sister saying that I was being completely unreasonable and how they wouldn't talk to me again unless I apologized to my sister.\n\nI sort of get why I could be the asshole because my sister wanted to be a mom for so long, but if I was graduated from college and at a steady place I would have said yes to her.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n1) No doctor in their right mind would let you be a surrogate in your current situation\n\n2) They can pay for someone else to be a surrogate if they really want it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little backstory\nMy parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My parents won’t let me sell any of my current items so I obviously have to do chores (I’m not old enough to get a job.) I’ve done stuff like walk my dog, clean the windows and vacuum at m’s house all for £5 or less each. D paid £10 for just the windows (£1 per window) so obviously I wanted to do the chores at his but m has a huge shed that hasn’t been entered in years! So the words m gave me were “if you can empty this shed and sort the items i will give £10” i thought this was an ok price so i cleared the shed and sorted the items (25 min work) I ask m for the money but she says not until i wash the items (the shed was filled with cobwebs and insects.) I was annoyed but i asked for the cleaning products but she said she didn’t have any. So i had to buy the hose... with the money I hadn’t earnt yet. Plus bug killer, scrubs and new bin bags! i was losing money so i said no. M then said she wasn’t paying me until i did. So i was practically paying her £2.49 to clean out, sort and wash HER shed. I have a natural phobia of bugs so I already hated it but this was ridiculous. I refused and now m has taken all the money i earnt as a punishment plus my ps3 (i prefer xbox but this was all we could get.) D is taking M’s side but I think he’s scared which I don’t blame him for. So Reddit am i the ahole? Also this is my first story on here so sorry if it isn’t good for this subreddit. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n1. Why the fuck you feel the need to shorten the words Mon and Dad? \n\n2. Your mother was looking for an excuse and never meant to pay you.  The lesson you should take from it is that some people (like your Mom) will steal from you and most people (like your Dad) are too chicken\/selfish   to do help.   So always have collateral\/ downpayment ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.\nIt was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.\nMy brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.\nI got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.\n1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me. \n2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.\n3. She had money for a cab\n4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.\n5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.\n6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked. \n7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.\nShe ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n1. Cousin doesnt drink. \n2. Cousin knew I was leaving. \n3. She had money for a cab.\n\nIf she knew you were leaving, she was perfectly capable of coming along if she'd wanted to. She weren't intoxicated, stranded or otherwise helpless. She's not a child.\n\nHowever, your cousin is the AH for\n\n1. Canceling on the day of\n2. Showing up anyway (causing OP some embarassment for bringing too many guests)\n3. After 1 and 2, apparently expecting OP to take care of her until she was safely back in bed, and stirring up drama when she had to get home on her own.\n\nAny particular obligation you may have had for looking after your younger cousin that night disappeared when she canceled your plans. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating\nThanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today\nI mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill. \nI feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.\nHe thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today\n\nI'm sure he'll manage to laze around fine on 3hrs of sleep. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend recently was hooked onto this stupid tiktok trend where the girl gets naked and goes up to their boyfriend while he is gaming to see what he would do. \n\nNow she being hooked onto the trend wants me to do the same as some of the guys in the tiktoks where they immediately pause their game and jump onto their girlfriends. I play league of legends and the people who play it know that you cannot pause the game and if you AFK or leave the game you will get penalties for it. \n\nShe told me either I quit the game or i dont ever touch her again. I told her a very reasonable rule that she thinks its unreasonable with it being, I do not mind spending time with her if she wants it before i start a game for a few hours, but I do mind where she purposely wants me to quit just as I started a match as I do not want to leave in the middle of a game. However I do not mind after the game, I stop playing and spend time with her. She told me she just wants to see me want her and she doesnt care about my game and she finds it very unreasonable. \n\nAITA for saying no I wont quit in the middle of my game? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>stupid tiktok trend\n\ncouldnt have said it better myself ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 45F and my Husband 50M has a 16-year-old son. He is a good kid, good grades, respectful, does his chores, etc. Last Summer my son said that he wanted a new computer. To his credit, he got a part-time job and saved up for it, and built a pretty nice gaming PC. We are really proud of him, as he saved for it nearly all summer.\n\nMy sister and her husband have recently moved in with us. They have a 9-year-old son. My sister has a history of IDK how to put it, being entitled. She thinks her kid can do no wrong and spoils her kid.\n\nWell when they came over, my nephew noticed my son's PC. He asked if he can play on it, my son said not now. That was the end of it for a couple of days. Again, my nephew wanted to play on it. I asked my son if he minded sharing, he said he would rather not since its expensive and doesn't want it to break. This has caused a big argument. My sister says its extremely unfair to my nephew because he doesn't have a system to play on, just his iPad, so my son should have to share. I told her it's his PC not mine, he paid for it so it's up to him. She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. I said I'm not, but I'm not going to force my son to share his own computer. My nephew ended up having a huge fit, which she then blamed me for his fit, but gave him 3 more hours of iPad time to quiet him down.\n\nIts been 4 days and my sister hasn't brought it up directly again, just being passive-aggressive. While on one hand, I don't want to make my kid share, because it's his computer, he saved up for it and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do, to force my kid to share. On the other hand, I do feel kinda bad for my nephew, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. \n\nNo, a spineless parent would have forced their child to bend to your entitled sister's will - and then had to deal with the consequences of her entitled child fucking up your son's gaming PC. \n\nI wish my parents had had my back in situations like these. Yes, sharing is important, so is understanding that 🎶you can't always get what you want.🎶 ######"}
{"prompt":"I have two daughters 9F and 7F.\n\nMy youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football.\n\nMy eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills.\n\nIt’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality.\n\nMy eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention.\n\nMy daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother.\n\nThis isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this!\n\nWell ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹”\n\nI responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall.\n\nMy ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.\n\nMy mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.\n\nThat says a lot about him, that he thinks the proper response is to abdicate his responsibilities as a parent for the weekend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am into gaming and most of my friends are online and on discord. I met some of my now close friends when I was 15 and they were 10(M),12(M),13(M) respectively. Over the years we have grown closer and the 10-12 year olds are brothers and look up to me as a sisterly figure . but the problem is that I'm 18 Now and some people notably my acquaintances call me creepy for being friends with 15 and 13 year olds. They are quick to point out that if I was a male and they were girls I'd receive so much back lash yet I'm lucky I don't. they say I shouldn't talk to them. I just don't want to leave them hanging now or else I'd stop talking because it does not look right. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>look up to me as a sisterly figure\n\nThis seems fine, even if it's a little out of the ordinary (I wouldn't call it weird). Just don't date any of them and you're good to go haha\n\nEdit: would be N A H if your friends backed off ######"}
{"prompt":"So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice.\n\nBut our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place.\n\nFor reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>it’s oppressive\n\nwtf?? It's not oppressive for you to dress however you want lmao... Like, who would that be oppressing? And it's not \"fishing\" for compliments to dress nice... Fishing for compliments is more like if you were to walk around all day going \"oh I'm so ugly\" so that people have to say \"noooo you're beautiful.\" What you're doing is not like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"On mobile, please excuse my formatting.\n\nI live with my mom, my stepdad, and my two siblings. I don't know much about my actual father, but what I do know is that he passed away from a heart attack when I was 2, and he wasn't a great parent. My siblings and I still have his last name (let's say Miles), while my mom has my stepdad's name (let's say Brown).\n\nI've come to really like my last name. It's rather unusual, yet it pairs nicely with the rest of my name, and I've gotten several compliments on it. I feel it's part of my identity, and I would hate to change it.\n\nMy family, on the other hand, wants me to change it to Brown when I turn 18. Both of my siblings have already agreed to do this, and are encouraging me to do the same. My parents say that it would be better to share a last name with the rest of the house, because it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't. My mom specifically states that I need to share a name with those I love, instead of someone I have no connection with (my actual father).\n\nI know that last names show familial connections, but I don't want to change my last name because I feel it makes me unique, regardless of whom it came from. I don't mind if I have a different last name than the rest of my family. AITA for not wanting to change it, against my family's desires? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't.\n\nWhat complications is she expecting? It's not like she'll have problems picking you up from school once you're of legal age. And how does it bring you closer? Are emotions conditional on a name?\n\nAnd what if you want to change your last name when you get married, does she want you to go through the legal process twice?\n\nIt's nobody's decision but yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Been hooking up on and off with a girl for a year. Nothing serious. Once in a while discussed our feelings on kids (just conversing) she wanted them someday, I never wanted them. All good. No feelings involved.\n\nWas using protection initially and then she got on BC and started asking me to finish inside her. I said okay (dumb).\n\nSome months after that we stop fooling around.\n\nMonths later I get a message from her, she’s 6 months pregnant, wants to know what part I want in it. I say I’ll provide child support, and we can figure out co-parenting. She says if I want to get a DNA test that it’s fine, I say okay.\n\nWhat I don’t tell her is my sperm count is severely low and I’m practically infertile, but pregnant is pregnant and she says she didn’t sleep with anyone else.\n\nFast forward to last week, she asks if I’ll be signing the birth certificate. I say we will do the DNA test and then yes I will sign. She flips out. Says if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby (which she knows), and that instead of doing a DNA test we can just not do one and that way I can believe what I want and I won’t have to feel bad for not supporting the baby, which is “definitely mine”.\n\nAITA for wanting a paternity test for a casual hookup, especially when I am almost infertile? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby\n\nI mean... duh? Those are not the biting criticisms she thinks they are. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)\n\nSo due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online. \n\nHer work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.\n\nLately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself). \n\nShe says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?\n\n\n\nTL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something.\n\nExactly this. Other people's conversations are boring, especially their work ones.\n\nShe shouldn't expect you to just wait around till she's ready. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my fiancee tore a bunch of pages out of my sketchbook when I let her use it when we played DnD. These were pages she didn't use, and many had drawings on them. I didn't notice she did this until I was given the sketchbook back, and then we had this conversation:\n\nMe: hey, can you be sure to not take any pages out of this next time? Especially if I've drawn on it.\n\nHer: ok?? But you let me use it for dnd\n\nMe: yeah, but I didn't say you could rip out a bunch of pages.\n\nHer: but you said I could have it for dnd.\n\nMe: I never said you could have it, I just told you you could use some of the pages when we play dnd. I even said we should go to walgreens to get more\n\nHer: you shouldn't even be mad about this\n\nMe: its not okay to tell me how to feel\n\nHer: yeah, it is.\n\nMe: no, thats bordering on emotional abuse.\n\nHer: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel\n\nMe: you started making excuses and then started telling me how to feel, of course Im angry\n\nHer: im not making excuses, you clearly dont know what that word means\n\nIt doesn't get any better from there, and ends with her yelling at me that Im always wrong and don't want to admit it. I don't know how to feel or if thats true, so I'm asking you all. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel\n\n\nThis doesn't sound real though.. This sounds like a caricature of unhealthy age gap relationships. \n\nAnyways if it's real then obviously NTA and she's seriously toxic. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it. \n\nI have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them. \n\nIt is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave.  \n\nWhen he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen. \n\nHe says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”.\n\nWell, I'd call his bluff. He can't rely on family for food\/housing and then turn around and demand that his gross friends be allowed to harass and disturb said family. One or the other.\n\nAnd good for you, for speaking up for your daughter. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for \nabout 5 1\/2 months, and I quit martial arts \nbecause I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its \"dangerous\" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.\n\nHe says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself. \n\nI told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a \"horrible boyfriend\" and makes me not do the things I like. \n\nEven though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with. \n\nI don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?\n\nalso sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n>...he went off about how he should leave since he's a \"horrible boyfriend\" and makes me not do the things I like\n\nSo in addition to letting whatever insecurity he has allow him to try and control how you spend your time, he also immediately plays the victim whenever he is called out, forcing *you* to apologize to *him*?\n\nHe is a horrible boyfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising\/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.\n\nTonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said \"another shitty diaper to change\" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.\n\nGranted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).\n\nIt upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?\n\nWhen I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.\n\nHe wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.\n\nI feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n> It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it... He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?\n\nThis right here. Just because he works full time 5 days a week (even if he is really put upon and they are 12 hour days) a 40-60 hour work week for him should not equal a 168 hour work week for you taking care of the baby. And that is the point of being a SAHM, to do the work that you'd otherwise be paying a nursery for. It should be treated (and respected) like a job, just like his. During work hours you are 100% on baby duty. But outside of work hours you both should be sharing parenting duties.\n\n>  he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and **again** brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.\n\nIf he keeps bringing up that he pays the rent, it sure *sounds* like he is complaining. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is my first time in this position and I have no idea if I’ve made a huge mistake and put my foot in my mouth right now. \n\nMy (23f) partner (21m) and I are looking at moving in together. My flat lease is coming up and we’re looking at somewhere a little bigger (I’m in a 2 bed but the 2nd bedroom is fairly small). \n\nHe’s only rented student places and is from a very different area so I guess he was naive about prices. He has a job lined up for September but won’t be making a huge amount. It’s a great position but pay will be low in his career. I however have a very well paid position. I’m two years older and further in my career and happen to work in a well paying field. \n\nWhen looking at rents he can’t really afford much. So I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50\/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage (eg my current place only costs 30% of my wages. So add say 30% of his and use that as a rent). This would enable us to afford some of the places we’ve looked at and I’d still be paying the same as I am here. \n\nHe got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. He doesn’t seem to think how I said it was the problem which was my though (checked I hadn’t come across sarky\/annoyed) but he genuinely has a problem with my suggestion at a base level. \n\nSo reddit, was I an asshole to suggest I pay more because I earn more? Thanks in advance. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n> I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50\/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage\n\nI started reading this expecting you to be suggesting the exact opposite, and putting an unmanageable burden on him. What you're proposing is fair and considerate.\n\n> He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling.\n\nThe problem here isn't you, it is his ego. I know he is only a couple of years younger than you, but he seems very immature. I'd be questioning moving in with *him*, maybe not forever but maybe until he has had time to mature and get used to living and supporting himself in \"the real world\". ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.\n\nHowever, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.\n\nSo, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n&#x200B;\n\nRegardless of your face and its problems, if you don't want to go in the ocean, you shouldn't be forced to go. I have many reasons for not wanting to go into the ocean. They are my reasons. You have your reason. They need to get over their own issues with you not going in and leave you alone. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nPeople enjoy different things. It is perfectly possible to go on vacation to the ocean and never even put on a bathing suit and still immensely enjoy yourself. I speak from experience. I enjoy sitting on the beach on a blanket under an umbrella and reading books and people watching. Going in the ocean and sunburned through my SPF100, getting saltwater in my hair and sand in my bathing suit crotch gusset is not enjoyable to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So background my parents split due to him having an affair when I was 8, now almost 28. We moved to east coast, dad stayed on west. My siblings and I never really had a relationship with him growing up, now we talk once every couple months. My brother had a baby last February and my dad and his wife came to visit in November. He stated he wanted to move here and build a relationship with us and his grandchildren. I was really excited as I don't have much family and I've always wanted our relationship mended. The plan was for him to move out alone and stay with my brother for 3 weeks while he got an apartment set up and then bring his family out. Well he called and stated he wants to bring his wife and step son with him from the get go and then he'd look for a job and place. My brother told him no he isn't okay with that because he has a kid and that'll be too stressful and too many people in his house. Well he told me last night that since I was so excited and wanted him here, my husband and I have to let them live with us. We're pregnant with our first and due in July. I said no way in hell was I moving 3 people in when I'm about to have a newborn. How is that fair? I was told I'm being unreasonable and my dad feels hurt that no one will take them in. If we weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have an issue with them temporarily staying.\n\nAita for not letting them live with me thus preventing them from moving here right now? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nYour dad cant just up and decide he's staying in your house with his family for 3 weeks. I wouldn't be cool with adding 3 people to my house normally, let alone while I'm pregnant. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nYou need to empty that account before you tell her you're not loaning her any more money though.  If possible, open another account in just your name WITHOUT either parent on it.  If that's not possible, consider storing it with a trusted family member.\n\n\n\nIt happens all the time where a parent steals a bunch of money from their teenage children because the parent is also listed on the bank account. ######"}
{"prompt":"I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good.\n\nI leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit.\n\n30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time.\n\nI ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe.\n\nGiven that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip.\n\nIn my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nWhat's the point of ordering delivery if you have to go out and get in your car to pick it up anyway? ######"}
{"prompt":"To give some backstory, I was adopted when I was 10 into a single parent household. I was raised primarily by my mom with the help of my grandpa who lives with us. I am now 21 and have always identified as being raised by a single mother. My mom has been dating her bf for close to 5 years now and I am very happy for her. Last year, my mom and I got into an argument because she wanted me to get him a gift for fathers day. I openly opposed since I do not consider him to be my father, nor do I have a close relationship with him. I think he is an amazing person who is good to my mom, but he never helped raised or discipline me. I have barely even spoken to him alone nor have I had a deep conversation with him. In fact I tend to get hyperaware when I do interact with him one on one since I storta want his approval. Although it would be nice to have a deeper relationship, we currently do not have one. I am getting stressed since fathers day is coming up in a month and I know my mom is gonna want me to get him a gift since she has already started to mention it. Last year my mom got angry at me when I just got him a funny\/cute card and she tore it up bc she thought I did not take it seriously enough. My grandpa said it would be considerate of me to get him something and I am confused as to why? My mom said that he has always wanted a child but I am honestly confused as to why she feels so strongly about this. In my opinion, I do not consider him to be any sort of father figure. I feel like I should just such it up and get him something, but I just feel like they are not taking my feelings into consideration. Tbh if I should be getting anyone a father's day gift, it should be my grandpa since I actually consider to be a sort of father figure in my life. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nNot only is he not YOUR father, he is also not an actual father. Just because he dates a woman who has a son\/daughter, doesn't automatically make him someone's father. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL)\n\nSo my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google. \n\nSo I did..\n\nAnd I was honest..\n\n4\/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously \n\nAnd I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager.\n\nI got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review..\n\nWhy ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK? \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nI am a believer in changing reviews like this to state that you were asked to update the review and lower the rating at the same time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest.\n\nFor example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that.\n\nShe has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no.\n\nShe has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it.\n\nLast night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nEveryone has a breaking point.  From what you said this was going on for months.  She was told multiple times that she wasn't getting the ring and she needed to accept that and drop it.  A person can only repeat themselves so many times before it can be too much.  \n\nCould you have worded that better?  Sure, if you hadn't been pushed to snapping.  It's entirely unfair IMHO to push someone that far and then be mad at them for finally breaking under the onslaught.\n\nI don't expect most people to have the patience of a saint let alone a 17yo.\n\nYour sister is TA for not dropping it and constantly bombarding you with her whining and negativity. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve had my cat Morwen (bonus points if u know where her name is from) for about 6 years and have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Recently we’ve been talking about moving in together, since his lease is up in May and we’ve been together a while, but if we moved into my apartment he would be moving an hour away and transferring locations for work. When we got together I told him I had a cat, and he said he didn’t like cats but since then whenever he’s over he pets her and will even bring her toys and treats and he cuddles her and calls her into sleep with us when he sleeps over. I assumed he liked her and we never discussed her leaving. \n\n\nA few days ago while talking about him moving in he asked what I was gonna do with Morwen and I asked him what he meant and he said “Well if I’m moving in we’re not having a cat. I told you I don’t like them.” I told him I wasn’t rehoming Morwen and he said “If you want to move in with you we all have to make sacrifices. I’m transferring jobs and moving an hour away.” \n\nI told him I wasn’t willing to rehome my cat and it wasnt up for discussion and he essentially told me then we weren’t moving in together and that he couldn’t believe I would choose a cat over him and hung up. \n\n\nMy roommates boyfriend offered to take her for me but I’m just not willing to give up my cat that I had long before I started dating him. \n\nAITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend?\n\n\nEdit: cat tax https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/qzlDmzi\n\n\nEdit #2: Morwen is a character in Skyrim.\n\nEdit #3: https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/H2LiKZl -chirpy meows ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nDo not rehome your cat because your boyfriend tells you to. \nIf he's trying to control you by making you choose between him and the cat, it will only get worse. \n\nHe's manipulating you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have a five year old boy and my family has been pushing me to get pregnant again. Telling me it is time or else my son will grow up to be self centred and alone. That is the last thing on my mind. I have been unhappy in my marriage for years now and getting a divorce is more likely to be happening. No one in the family knows the state of my relationship and when they ask the husband, he says yes, he wants another. People thinks I'm being pure selfish. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nBeing an only child doesn't automatically mean you're going to be self-centered. And he wont be alone because he has you. How you parent has a greater impact than whether or not you have siblings. \n\nIt's very responsible of you to not being another child into an unhappy household. \n\nAlso, it's no one's business but yours and your spouses whether or not you have another child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi! A very close friend (called Anne) of mine has a beautiful cat, and that cat recently became the mom of 4 beautiful kittens. It was clear all along that Anne would keep 2 kittens, our other very close friend Isabelle would buy one kitten, and I would buy one as well.\n\nThe kittens seem to like us as well, which was very touching. But now that they are several weeks old, Anne wants to name them because they are her kittens, and she wants all the names to be chosen by her or to start with a C because they are from one litter. Isabelle and I dont like the names at all and we can't find a single name starting with C, even after thinking a long time and looking on the internet for inspiration.\n\nThe three of us talked today, but Anne wouldn't budge, so we have to basically live with the crappy names she chose for our future kittens or try to find sth starting with a C that fits and that we dont hate completely. She says the breeder chooses the names, and if we cant be with the kittens 3x a week while they are with their mom so they grow accustomed to their names, she wont use our names but will call them whatever she wants. Her argument is that you don't need to like the name to love an animal, which I agree with, but if it's mine and I have known them since the day they were born, can't i choose one?\n\nAITA for wanting to choose a name I'll love for the cat I'll buy and spend the next 20 years with?\n\n\nTldr: My friend sells 2 kittens, but she named them sth I hate and doesn't let me choose my own name for my future cat I already agreed to buy months ago. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\nAlso ..... just rename the kitten after you bring it home. It is not confusing to animals to be renamed. They don't understand the concept of names. They just associate a specific sound you make at them with certain behaviors just like when you teach animals new tricks. Just say the new name and give treats when they respond. Kitten will learn that when you make the new name sound you are talking to it.\n\nAlso it is kitten season and there are about a million adoptable kittens. If you don't want to deal with your weird friend and her issues just adopt a different kitten.\n\n\nEdit: My sweet cat had 2 names before she got to me. I gave her a new name. It took her about 3 times to demonstrate she could associate the new name to herself. She absolutely knows when I say \"Bianca\" that I am talking to her. She can be looking out the window and I can say her name and she responds to it. If I say other random words she does not respond. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150\/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\\>   I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, \n\nJust play dumb and pretend you don't know other people pay out of pocket. And if they try to tell you to, just be like \"But why should I, it says right here in black and white that this is your responsibility.\n\nThey are not paying. You are paying with your HOA fee, If you pay out of pocket you are paying twice. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate\n\nSo I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women. \n\nKate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.  \n\nIt wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual. \n\nSince then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet \n\nThat was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text\n\nAt first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused\n\nI told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years. \n\nShe then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys. \n\nI told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl \n\nLong story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality. \n\nI eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since. \n\nI very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"Trying to steal her sexuality.\" Lol, what? It's not like she owns bisexuality. She doesn't get to put a copyright on a sexuality.\n\nIf she's so sensitive and threatened by someone else coming out as bisexual, she has some problems. ######"}
{"prompt":"My siblings and I all have different fathers.  One is older than me by 4 years and the other is an infant.  I am 20.  My maternal grandmother whom I have never met according to the attorneys felt bad about the way my dad denied me b\/c I was a product of an extramarital affair. My fiance who comes from a heap load of money told me not to tell anyone that I have money. I didn't listen I told a friend who told my brother and now he thinks he should have some. I told him no b\/c what makes him think he deserves it we are no close never have been and have been estranged for the last 3 years not having spoken maybe once or twice and the last time I saw him he called me a whore b\/c my fiance much comes from a well to do family.  Now my mom is saying I owe her for raising me.  I told them both to kiss-off. My mother b\/c she wouldn't even buy me things like a winter coat in h.s. (I wore the same ill-fitting one from middle school while she and my brother (the GC) had all the latest everything)til I could get a job and buy my own.  I told my brother he has no claim to the money b\/c we don't even have the same father.  He says he thinks it's only fair that I share, I told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would not share.  He said so what, that the amount I got could go around a few times over.  I said my grandmother gave it to me, and I'm saving it for myself and my future children.  My fiance and his family say I'm doing the right thing, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"This is what grandma decided and I am going to respect her wishes.\"\n\nGoing forward, don't let them get under your skin. No reason to respond back with obscenities or anger. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancée ran her old car into the ground. Literally every part was failing in some way. In order to make it fully functional would cost nearly as much as a new car. However she can’t afford a new car, and it seems silly to buy another used car to run into the ground.\n\nSo I bought her a new car. It’s not like I bought her a Maserati, it’s a Honda Civic. Plus, she’s pregnant and will be the primary care taker since she can work from home, so she needs a safe and functional car to drive. Can’t have her driving our kid around in a junker.\n\nWe also plan to combine finances when we get married. We’ve been dating for 6 years, so it’s not like I’m worried she’s going to run off with the car.\n\nI paid for the car myself, I don’t get any money from my family other than some inheritance from my grandparents. But yet my family had a fit when they found out, saying it’s a terrible decision and I shouldn’t have done that until I’m married. I told them it was fine but they still keep bothering me about it, saying I should have talked to them first and they would have told me it was a bad idea.\n\nI don’t see why I should have talked to them, I don’t talk to them about any other financial decisions. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"saying I should have talked to them first\" The heck? Your money, your decision what to spend it on. You spend it on safe transport for your unborn.\n\nCongrats on the pregnancy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all. I'm on mobile, so sorry for any formatting errors on my part.\n\nMe (30M) and my girlfriend (28F) have been together for 3 years and we have a baby girl that will soon be turning 2 this summer. My girlfriend wants to get our baby baptized and I am fully on board with this.\n\nI am an atheist now but I grew up Catholic. At first I was on the fence about baptizing our baby but after some thought I said I was totally fine with it. So my girlfriend starting looking into churches to get this done at (before the lockdown). She told me about a few places but we would have to join the church our baby gets baptized at. I'm not ok with joining a church.\n\nSome background: As before, I grew up Catholic but no longer a believer. As a child, I was not treated well in the church. I won't go into details but my girlfriend knows about my experiences and is insisting that I join the church with her to get our baby baptized.\n\nI told her I'm happy to support our baby getting baptized at the church but I do not want to join one or attend one, except for the baptizing ceremony. I said if she wants to go to church, she is free to do so as it's not my right to stop her. I said my experiences really left a sour taste in my mouth and I don't want to go back to the source of a childhood trauma.\n\nMy girlfriend said I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking of our baby. We haven't spoken about this since the lockdown started.\nI'm starting to wonder if I'm out of line here and if I'm being a jerk.\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"My girlfriend said I'm being selfish and not thinking of our baby\"\n\nUhmmm does she not realize the hypocrisy of this statement? \n\nWho was the one that wanted to baptize their baby for their belief? (I'm not taking a dig at religion, if she wants to baptize that's cool, but she shouldn't make it seem like this is something the baby wants) ######"}
{"prompt":"So  yesterday, after years of wanting to get one, I (22F) got a septum piercing. My boyfriend (21M) was okay with me getting it.\n\nBut when I got home he said it doesn't look good on me. I said that's fine, but I like it and I'm keeping it.\n\nHe acted distant most of the night after that so I asked him what's wrong. He said he doesn't like seeing me with this piercing. I said literally everyone else likes it (friends and family) and most importantly, I like it. He then started insisting that I should take it out because he doesn't like it at all. I said I paid for it, I like it and I'm not going to do that just because he doesn't like it. \n\nWe started arguing. He said he would do that for me and I said I would never ask him to. Then he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc. I told him he was acting crazy, it's just a piece of jewerly and it shouldn't matter this much.\n\nHe basically got up and went to his parents' house and spent the night there. I think I'm the one who's in the right here and my friends agree but my boyfriend won't stop. So am I the AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc.\"\n\nYou could turn that argument exactly around and say he would not ask you to take it out if he did those things. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my wife split 11 years ago when our daughter was 5-6 months old, we split cause she cheated on me and went to marry the guy she cheated on me with.  I remarried 3 years later and had my son (who is now 9).  The way custody works is that I get her for 1 week a month, christmas, thanksgiving and easter while my wife gets her during the summer.  My ex's husband had 3 kids of his own, 1 of them her birthday falls on the day right after my daughter's and she told me when she's at her mom's house they share a birthday.  me, my wife and son are currently out of state and helping out my in-laws cause they are old and need help now of days.  I already mailed my gift and told my ex to give it to her on her birthday, she's always wanted air pods so I got her a pair.  I had a bag and stuffing in the box and asked my ex if she could set it up for her\n\nMy ex texted me yesterday saying what I got my daughter is nowhere near what the other kid is getting and asked me to either chip in to get her something or wait.  I told my ex that I won't and that my daughter has wanted this for awhile, she told me that it is unfair that my daughter gets a better present than her sister.  I tried to compromise and said she can name the present in both our names (mine and ex) and get her daughter something a little bigger or more \"equal\" if she likes but I'm not going to just not give her the gift cause I probably won't see her for another month or so.  My ex is saying I'm being unreasonable AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n\"Fairness\" is not the same as equality. \n\nYou sent a caring gift to your daughter, and your daughter should get it. She and her step sibling are old enough to understand that there is not that much equality in the world. The step sibling may get presents from her mother's side that your daughter doesn't get.\n\nYou are being very reasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.\n\nBack in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.\n\nI tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.\n\nBut she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since. \n\nUntil a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.\n\nMy sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.\n\nI told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.\n\nShe asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.\n\nWhen I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).\n\nI get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n*She* dragged her ass. There are other exercises your nephew could be doing. Or, I don't know, his parents could buy the equipment for him.\n\nThe situation changed and you need what you previously offered, which she didn't act on in a timely manner.\n\nThis is on her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.\n\nMe and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.\n\nAnyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \\[the restaurant\\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.\n\nAm I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n*I've booked a restaurant with terrible vegan options for my vegan son.*\n\nThat's what your mum has done. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was a single mom to twin girls for 10 years (widowed when they were 7). I worked lots of hours and we all did our part in the house. They always had age appropriate chores and as they got older, they learned to become self sufficient by doing their own laundry and put it away, cleaning their shared bathroom, etc.\n\nThis year I got married and gained a step daughter who is 14. Now by this age, my girls were doing their own laundry and cleaning their bathroom but I understand that not every kid is. However, I have noticed that my step daughter does very little around the house. Doesn’t clean her room (which fine, her domain), doesn’t do the dishes, expects me or her dad to do her laundry. My husband was also a widower, so it was also just them and I guess he did it all over the years. He admitted he didn’t want her to worry about anything. However, to me, that’s just not how a house is run. We all do our part. We’ve talked in the past about setting up a chore chart so the chores are split between our girls and it’s always “later”.\n\nToday, my husband was at work and I’m working from home. My step daughter was saying something about wanting to wear a certain top but it was dirty. I said I wasn’t doing laundry until tomorrow but if she wanted, I could show her how to do it. She seemed up for it, so I showed her, she did all the work and I just gave instructions. I told her from now on, she’d have to do it and she said okay. Then I taught her how to run the dishwasher. Afterwards, the three girls and I sat down and made a chore chart, so everyone would take turns doing dishes, sweeping, cleaning their shared bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.\n\nMy husband came home and was pissed. He said it wasn’t my place and that we should’ve discussed it together. I said that I simply taught her life skills and balanced the work in the house. Am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n**You have tried talking to your husband about the chore chart and he always puts off discussing it until \"later\".**  You didn't plan on taking matters into your own hands but it happened organically when your step-daughter said she wanted to wear a shirt that wasn't laundered. Your stepdaughter is fine with doing chores and the girls are all sharing the work evenly. **Just when would it have been your \"place\" to delegate the chores when your husband repeatedly refused to address the topic?** ######"}
{"prompt":"\nThis has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.\n\nSome backstory:\nI don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.\n\nRecently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard. \nA week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.\nSo, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .\nI was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her  family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.\n\nI felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n***MOST EMPHATICALLY NTA!!!***\n\n>\"So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” \n\nHoly cow, she is a bitter, bitter, sad pathetic person. What a crap thing to say. She's eaten up with jealousy. She's toxic. Horrible. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: had acne for almost 10 years. Couldn’t do anything about it (treat it orally) since healthcare isn’t free where I live, and dermatology appointments are costly. We were also, very poor. \n\nI had self esteem issues because of it, and my mum is the only person that I’ve shared this struggle with. She, out of everyone, knows how much I’ve been struggling with mental health due to acne. When I first started getting it, she would shame me (just make snarky remarks like “aren’t they bothering you? You look like bla bla bla”) into fixing it as soon as possible. So I became ashamed of my face and was obsessed with skincare. And I mean OBSESSED.\n\nRecently, I had to move back home with my parents because of the current climate. Today, my face progressed from moderate acne to very mild. I maintain a plant based diet that helped me a lot. Though from time to time, I get hungry and crave foods that cause flare ups (mainly dairy and baked goods). But since we’re all staying at home, I thought it would be fine to have a couple bites. \n\nOne day, I ate too much, and I broke out. She saw my face and said “what even is that huge bump on your forehead? Did you hit your head?” And I don’t know where the anger came from, but I snapped “why do you always feel the need to say shit about my face?”. She started screaming and calling me over-sensitive. That because my face isn’t even THAT bad ( like it was before) I should learn how to take a joke. \n\nNow I feel that it’s my fault for making her feel bad. ######","completion":" NTA\n\n'Learn to take a joke' is a thing jerks say. Jokes aren't jokes unless everyone's in on it, especially the person on the receiving end of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down. \n\nIn my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault. \n\nI gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\n\n No means no. You don't need a qualifier or a reason to go with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel so awkward I’m new to this office and quite younger (recent grad) than my boss and coworkers- they are mid 30s I’m 22. The boss said our team should bond and have a team lunch - so we all meet up there and it’s a place where you build your own bowl.\n\nMy boss is in the middle of us and tells the workers to just put everything on her card. Fast forward - we all eat lunch (6 of us) and at the end I was the only one to say thank you for lunch and everyone looked and she looked a little surprised and said “you’re welcome”. \n\nNow I am realizing I think she probably just put it on her card to make it faster and was expecting us all to pay her back via cash or Venmo. I feel really stupid. She never said it was her treat so I should have known better and now I’m wondering do I apologize days later or let it go but if I let it go AITA? ######","completion":" NTA\/NAH - she’ll most likely claim it back on expenses. The look you got was probably out of shock because you thanked her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic\n\nI’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph\n\nMy brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices\n\nWe got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha\n\nWhen my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”\n\nAITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ######","completion":" NTA.You mentioned that you liked the name Ralph to them before you got the dog and they didn't say anything then. Not naming your real dog a name you like because a relative might someday name their at this point imaginary dog the same name is ridiculous. It's fine to have two dogs named Ralph. Your SIL needs to chill. ######"}
{"prompt":"    \n     I (19F) have two twin 3 year old sons that I gave birth to in highschool, two years before I met my fiancé. Their father (19M) is also heavily present in their life. For a little background, I am Sicilian and Greek, and their father is Korean. Safe to say, they look very not white. \n     My fiancé, however, looks very white. Curly blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes. \n     Whenever me and my fiancé go out with them, no one assumes that he is the father, which has never bothered me, my fiancé, their father, or my boys. Even now, as I am in the last few weeks of our first pregnancy together, we haven’t had any problems with our family. My fiancé and his parents are ecstatic for our baby girl, and so are my boys and their father. The only person it does bother is his older sister. \n     Three days ago, while we were setting up the nursery in our apartment, his sister began talking about how I was not fit to be a good mother, and all the “complications” that would come from her being raised by a “dirty white” \nmother and surrounded by “halfling brats”; along with how she wanted nothing to do with my sons lives, only our daughters because she needed “actual guidance”. \n     Of course, I went mental. I told her to get out of our apartment and how she could return her bridesmaids dress at her nearest convenience. \n     My husband says I went too hard on her, and how she is just overprotective of him. I explained that she was blatantly disrespectful to me and our sons, and how I wasn’t going to tolerate it. He attempted to compromise and told me I needed to apologize, even if I don’t forgive her. \n     AITA for refusing to apologize, or let her back in the wedding party? ######","completion":" NTA.This is a hill to die on. She apologizes, and the first moment she treats your children differently she's gone. If your fiancé doesn't agree, DO NOT MARRY HIM. Or your twins will forever be less-than. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a year and a half ago, my birthday was coming up and while I haven't really celebrated it since I was like 7 or 8 my dad gives me money for something I want. My buddy got tickets to a primetime football game and I asked for a ticket to that game for my birthday. He agreed to get it for me but he said I had to bring along my step brothers, I wanted to go to the game cause it was just gonna be me and my friend and I think his friend or something.\n\nI told my dad thanks but if they have to come then to just get rid of the tickets. He got disappointed but he just got rid of the tickets. I ended up not going to the game and got 20 bucks instead for my birthday, I am still pretty pissed that I wasn't able to go to the game. But my dad said \"this is my punishment for not wanting them to tag along\". AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.I'm not a fan of gifts with strings attached.  I'm guessing you're what, a teenager? Dad should remember how well it goes over when a parent tries to control a teen's social life. However, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First off, maybe Dad and Stepmom saw a chance for a little Alone Time. Plus maybe he wanted you to be closer to the stepkids. ######"}
{"prompt":"The other day we had to suddenly take my seven year old niece for the night because my nephew, who is four, managed to get a pretty nasty gash to his head when he fell off his bike. My sisters (26) husband was out of state dealing with something to do with his family so we, my parents and younger sister (18F) and I (21), ended up taking my niece in for the night. She was pretty cranky all day because she wanted to be home with her new puppy, I told her that if she behaved then she could play on my Nintendo Switch for half an hour the next morning before my sister picked her up*. \n\nWell, she didn’t behave. She was honestly a little demon all night, but the next day she still demanded to play the Switch. I told her no because she didn’t behave. Well, she went to my mom and pulled the whole innocent granddaughter trick. My mother, who is an extremely kind person and spoils her grandchildren rotten because they’re the only grandkids she has right now (my younger sister and I aren’t having kids for years, college and career first). So she told me to let her play the Switch. \n\nI told her no, I bought it with my own money (I’m in college and work my ass off, saved little by little to afford a Switch) and she didn’t follow along with the deal. My dad also thinks I should have let my niece play, as does my older sister. The only member of my family on my side is my little sister. I know my niece is seven but she needs to understand that not everything needs to be given to her when she wants them. My parents and older sister keep making me feel guilty though, so that’s why I’m turning to the internet. \n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? \n\n*My niece is getting limited screen time right now because when her school first went online she was ignoring her homework and my sister got a pretty nasty email. My parents won’t enforce it at our house but I am with the technology that I personally own. ######","completion":" NTA.\nYour niece is spoiled, and you shouldn't feel guilty about not enabling her when the rest of your family decides to raise her that way. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife and I married in 2007. We had our first child in 2010 and our second child in 2013. Fast forward 5 years in July 2018 and we begun separation proceedings.\n\nI left the house in Feb 2019 and we'd been working with couple therapists and then  \n a mediator for an amicable separation. We signed off on a separation agreement in December 2019.\n\nTonight, we had agreed that my daughter would spend the next 3 days with me and   \nmy son would stay with her. I had given him a dumbphone with some credit in case he needed to contact me. He texts me begging me to pick him up.\n\nSo I ring my wife twice and text her wondering what the story is, no answer, so I drive over to   \ncollect my son. At this stage, not wanting to drive off with him without her knowledge, and also to make sure she's OK, I ring the police. They show up, somehow speak to her. They ascertain she was too drunk and they say my son will stay me until tomorrow. I ask them if I did the right thing, they reply \"Yes 100%\".\n\nThey're going to open a case and refer her to a Child Protection Agency.\n\nJust as I drove off, she storms out of the house and gives the finger, swears at me and banged on the car as I drove off. The kids are in shock and don't want to stay with her again.\n\nI don't want to destroy her life. I want things to work but I've had enough. AITA for calling the police on her? ######","completion":" Nta.\nYour kids are priority number 1. they don’t Wanna be there. The cops don’t want them to be there. You don’t want them to be there. She is a grown up and needs to get her life together. You’re in no way, shape or form an asshole for making sure your kids are safe. Also you’re not destroying her life. She’s doing this on her own ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-\n\n I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).\n\nSo after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.\n\nNeighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.\n\nI didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.\n\nI responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.\n\nShe then blocked me on FB.\n\nWas I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ######","completion":" NTA.\nWhat’s with all these people feeling as if they’re entitled to goods they USED to own. You spent $200 on it and it’s perfectly reasonable to want at least some of the money back when you’re getting rid of it.\n\nYour neighbour sounds super immature for blocking you on facebook for a couch they didn’t want anymore in the first place ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm from a traditional Indian family in England, my parents compare me to \\*everyone\\*, from my sister to the neighbour's kid etc. My sister is 5 years older than me \\[26F\\] and has been working for 2 years after graduating from a fairly prestigious university but earns the usual 2 years into your career wage (£35k, $43k). \n\nMy parents always pitted me against my sister and that really fucked with our relationship, this means that my sister is insecure about her wage and is trying her best (we both have mental health issues from my parents' abusive parenting, see my post history for more info), she's had a lot to deal with. \n\nThis year I worked really hard and got myself into a hedge fund for a grad job.  This place will pay me over double what my sister earns; I'm not going to act like I'm not happy about this but I know that hurts my sister (she still wants the best for me, but it does hurt and I don't blame her for it). \n\nAnd I know that my parents finding out my wage will make them cocky, show off my wage, and put ridiculous amounts of pressure on my sister. My dad is also insecure about his role as the caregiver to the family since my sister already earns more than he does. \n\nBecause of all this, I'm choosing not to tell my parents (and possibly even my sister (though she can guess how much I earn from the company I work for)) my wage, I'm already moving out so I'm fully independent of them and have no obligation and the way they act (even though I mentioned to them that comparing kids is reprehensible) I think justifies it. However this is really uncommon in our culture, I'm already forcing through my independence by moving out (without their consent) and now to not tell them my wage will really damage my relationship with them. \n\nAITA for putting my parents at arm's length, damaging the relationship further since I'm already forcing through my moveout, by not telling them my salary? ######","completion":" NTA.\nWhat the actual fuck kind of culture is that? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all, \n\nSo I referred my girlfriend for my old job (I was more or less promoted for got a 10k raise) She got the job and is now also paid 10K more a year than she used to be paid. We live together as well. \n\nI was given a referral bonus of 1K. She is insistent that I share it with her. I was not too fond of this idea and she is now very upset because “I make so much more money than her” and “she does so much for me” and “she works so hard at the new job” etc. Am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\nUnless you share all your income, which I doubt, but if you do, she should split her 10k as well if she's asking for you to share your 1k. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put \"Bisexual\" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask.\n\nMy boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not \"open for shop\". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating.\n\nHe says that my bio and my \"provocative\" photos are giving people ideas.\n\nI explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving.\n\nAm I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ######","completion":" NTA.\nThis is the ultimatum that he’s willing to drop. Over an Instagram bio? Is he literally 16 years old? All I’m saying is if you give in now to this absurd demand then he’s just going to get more and more demanding. ######"}
{"prompt":"Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything.\nUsually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was. \n\nAs I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all.\n\nI went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?”\n\nHe started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house. \n\nI countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.” \n\nThe man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA?\n\nTo be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ######","completion":" NTA.\nThe owner is responsible ######"}
{"prompt":"Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care  and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her  life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######","completion":" NTA.\nThank you for standing up for your daughter. She needs all the support she can get right now. \n\nYour wife might benefit from visiting PFLAG and learning to be a more supportive and accepting parent. The suicide rates of LGBTQIA kids is terrifying. Rejecting your own child is unacceptable and dangerous and your wife can move past her current feelings and do better, surely. I hope so.\n\nGood luck! Stay strong! ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: my laptop was originally given to my mother but she had no interest in it so she gave it to me. I've had it for almost 8 or 9 years. My sister was gifted the laptop she has when she was a teenager and has had it for over a decade. She is also older by 9 years, so 26rn and i'm 17.\n\nA month in quarantine, my sister had asked me to borrow my laptop. I agreed, as long as she gave it back by X hour so i could watch a movie (MHA for those interested). Giving national exams this June, it was extremely hard to find some free time and that was my first day off. I had planned this night for a week!\n\nI had assumed that it was something related to her college since she insisted on not telling me, my bad on this one. That's why i had agreed as hers is old. But NOPE. Turns out, she wanted was to check the size of SIMS so she could download it to her own laptop later. fine. I didn't like it but she said that's all she wanted so again i kept my cool\n\nBut her PC couldn't hold the game. she then turned to me and claimed my laptop as her gaming one. I instantly told her that she can't do that and grabbed my laptop from her and procceeded to yell at her. \n\nWhen mom intervened, to my shock, she tried to defend my sister!! I have to spend long hours on my computer for classes and studying. I barely have any time off and those rare moments of free time; i want to spend them doing something i like! My sister was literally throwing a tantrum over it. \n\nI was furious with both of them. Had i done something like this, they would have cut my head off yet my mom wasn't on my side when she would have for my sister! My mom is a great, but she sometimes pulls this stuff. I wouldn't even care about giving my sister my laptop to play, Had she asked me first!\n\nSo AITA? Still not giving it for those wondering ######","completion":" NTA.\nSims is a big af game, it will slow your laptop down for sure especially since its already a bit old.\nI have it on mine and it takes up a lot of space and if she buys more packs it will only take up even more space.\nIts your laptop so your choice, she could just buy extra eternal space for her laptop. ######"}
{"prompt":"I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.\n\nI've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.\n\nWhen she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.\n\nShe's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######","completion":" NTA.\nShe isn't your wife.\nDon't put yourself in that situation where you have to work with your ex girlfriend because things didn't work out but you don't want to fire her.\nThe fact that she's bad with money IMO is a red flag on its own. I'm not saying break up with her. But you can't let her get a hold of your money and you can't let her be dependent on you in a financial way.\n\nShe needs to grow up and own her lack of responsibility. Maybe she will learn to be more fiscally responsible. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16f) aunt (33f) lives with my family. She has me drive her around, and refuses to sit in the front passenger seat because she wants to act like it’s a taxi\/chauffeur situation, which is shitty of her, but I haven’t said anything.\n\nThe other day we were driving through a restaurant drive through, and it was packed. The parking lot was full. My aunt got out of the car while we were in the drive through, and I asked what the fuck she was doing. She told me she was “getting claustrophobic”, and I told her to stay in the car so she doesn’t get hit by another car. (My reasoning for saying this is she wanted to walk close to the actual road to smoke, where traffic’s busy. y’know; normal road.)\n\nShe ignored me and got out anyway, so when I pulled up to the drive through window, I got out and put child lock on the back doors. I did this because my aunt has done this several times before, has almost gotten hit when she does it, and once had her foot run over by a car because she does it. (Which, btw, she blamed on me even though another car ran over her foot...)\n\nI got our food, my aunt gets back in, we get on the main road, it’s a traffic jam. My aunt tries getting out of the car again, and finds that she’s child locked. She starts screaming and cussing at me, calling me a little mother fucker and screaming at me to let her out. So when we could pull over again, I pulled over, let her out, and told her she could call someone else for a ride home. (I left her at a gas station)\n\nI got home and my parents asked where my aunt was. I explained what happened, my mom told me I was in the right, and my dad flipped his shit. He told me to go out and pick her back up, and I told him to pick her up himself, because I’m done driving her around because she acts like a toddler. He decided it was appropriate to call me a spoiled bitch before leaving to pick her up.\n\nAITA for child locking my aunt, and then leaving her at a gas station? ######","completion":" NTA.\nShe acts incredibly entitled, if I may ask why do you go along with it and act as her driver? ######"}
{"prompt":"know this sounds horrible but there's background. \nI've been married 20 years and I've never been close to her. She skips over our kids on holidays and hasn't acknowledged a birthday, except her own, for about 5 years. My husband, her son, doesn't speak to her because of verbal abuse he had from her growing up. My nieces and nephew (18, 19 and 21) also don't speak to her because she is an awful toxic person. \nIn Feburary she texted me that she had breast cancer. Being a nurse, I jumped into action and got her set up with a visiting nurse, meals on wheels and a housekeeper. I brought her to her first appt so I could understand what type and the treatment options as she refuses to wear hearing aids and has a 6th grade education. I followed up with her brother who lives nearby and relayed what he needs to do to help her. \nThen came her first chemo appointment.  It was 4 and a half hours. She introduced me as \"her ride\" and \"the bitch\" to everyone who came in then sat on her phone talking to \"her real daughter in law\" being my husband's ex that he hadnt seen since they broke up in 1998, about me. Never said thank you. Then I got her home and walked her dog then gave him a bath. Cleaned her house and got her set up with ensure drinks and whatever she needed. Still no thank you. \nNow, I'm in the mindset of she has cancer and she can do or say anything she wants right now. My husband is livid. I didnt even tell him half of it. The more I thought about it the more I just want to wash my hands of it and pass the responsibility to her brother (hes nice but equally ignorant).\nWould i be a horrible person? I'm just over her ignorant shitty behavior. ######","completion":" NTA.\nLet her \"real\" daughter in law take her to chemo. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's this business one of my closest friends wants to invest in. He says it will make loads of money. He asks me for money to start it up, saying he will pay me back double in three months. Keep in mind what he is asking for is not pennies, it's a huge amount of money (at least for a teenager anyways) Anyways, I tell him that l don't have that kind of money. He tells me to take some money out of my savings to help him out. I refuse saying that l worked hard for that money, I can't risk losing it. I have been saving up for the past year for an xbox one, he knows this. \n\nAnyways he explodes saying the way l don't care about him and l never have. He says a real friend would help him out. He says that l am not willing to take risks and that's why l will never move forward in life. He has this obsession with Bill Gates and wants to be a multi millionaire, like him.\n\nFor context, we are both 18. I am a girl, he is a boy. ######","completion":" NTA.\nHe is not entitled to your money and these get rich quick schemes are garbage.  \n\nHow will he repay you when his plan fails?\n\nHe risks nothing but you risk your savings.\n\nYou'd be a fool to agree and a real friend wouldn't put you in that position. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F18) love cooking when I get the chance, and like to make food from different places. Usually, when I make something, I cook it for the whole family; it makes me really happy to see them eating the food I've made, especially as I put a lot of work into it. My younger brother (14) usually helps me when I cook and it's a fun bonding activity for us. It's also worth noting that we don't cook often, and we both look forward to it. \n\nHowever, my Step-Dad has a habit of actively making fun of my hobbies, including my cooking. He has never once tried anything I've made and makes a show of making something different (usually chicken nuggets and chips). I normally just let it go as I understand that what I make might not be to his taste, but today was the final straw.\n\nI was sat in the next room over from him and my mum and I heard my mum telling him that my brother and I were going to cook dinner tonight. He laughed and said \"well in that case, I'll just have a sandwich. I'm not eating that shit.\" it's worth mentioning that he hadn't even been told what we were cooking yet.\n\nI'm getting sick of him always doing this and I'm considering just not cooking at all anymore, because he takes all the fun out of it. Knowing how he thinks about my hobbies is really hurtful and makes me want to stop doing it altogether.\n\nI don't know if I'm just being childish and overreacting, but WIBTA if I refused to cook for the family tonight and possible altogether?. ######","completion":" NTA.\nBut don't let the arsehole win.\n\nCook for the rest of you. Serve everyone else. Make sure he knows you aren't even bothering with him.\n\nAnd please tell your mum how you feel. Ask her why she thinks how he treats you is ok. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my gf has been staying w me for a bit, and she brought her cat with her. She pretty much let’s her cat do whatever he wants but I want to teach him to not climb on top of certain things such as my desk where I keep my expensive computer and other equipment I use for graphic design and music production. Her cat scratched the heck out of my adjustable bed base that was pretty pricy so I bought him a big cat tower. He stopped scratching my bed. The other day I bought a new table and he’s already ripped one of the chair covers by scratching it and my girlfriend says I’m uptight bc I bought scratch deterrent spray. I don’t mind him on my bed or on my couch but I don’t want him climbing on the table or my record player and stuff like that. I get he is a cat and that’s what cats do, that’s why I bought him his tower and other toys. Am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA.\nAs a cat owner myself, no one likes a cat that destroys shit. It's not \"just what they do\".\nJust like any animal we keep as pets, we train them not to do undesirable destructive things.\nNo one in their right minds would let the cats do whatever.\nCats scratch to sharpen nails. So yes a cat post is a necessity. Cats will jump and climb because they need stimulation, hence toys. And they need to be told what is acceptable behaviour and what's not. In turn, good ownership is teaching them what is appropriate and what isn't.\nYou aren't over reacting by getting a spray.\nI taught mine by lining my counters with tinfoil for about a week. They now associate the counter with a crap feeling on their claws and don't do it.\nThey also get sprayed with water when they do a shit behaviour.\n\nYour girlfriend can start being a responsible pet owner, or she can start paying for the damages her animal is causing. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant. \n\nHe wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because he said we weren't ready. \n\nI said I wasn't comfortable doing that as I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself. \n\nI wasn't supposed to be able to have children so getting rid of what I see as a miracle would destroy me.\n\nI told my fiance that he could leave, sign of his rights if he wanted to, I wouldnt hold it against him and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything.\n\n\nHe had been on and off again supportive but never left. Our son is 2 months old and my fiance snaps at him, says rude things to him, etc because \"he's a baby and he won't remember it\" but there's a lot of anger towards the baby. \n\nI don't want my son to be raised in a household where there's resentment and I feel like that's how it will be.\n\nSo am I the asshole for keeping my son which is causing turmoil within my fiance and for my son to be raised with a father who shows the resentment? ######","completion":" NTA.\nAlso, RUN. Please take your son and run FAR AWAY, and NEVER look back. If you stay and let this continue the “snapping” could turn into physical abuse. Either way, he’s already being emotionally abusive and I don’t see that stopping. Please be safe! ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nI (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.\n\nam i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour wedding, invite who you like, an absentee father has no right being there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway since this is stupid petty. \n\nMy roommate and I are both vegetarians. She regularly shames people for what they eat, including meat and any carbs. I have bad anxiety\/depression which often leads to no appetite (she knows this) and regularly all I can eat is cereal or pasta, which she always comments on so she’s been getting on my nerves a lot. I also don’t like her because I always catch her in dumb lies so I guess you can say we have a lot of beef. ...\n\nYesterday she had a stressful day due to an online exam so she went out and got a chicken sandwich from a popular fast food place. She sent me a picture from her car with the caption “cheat day” showing the half eaten sandwich. Sometimes I have cheat days myself so I don’t judge her for that at all. \n\nYesterday we were on a zoom call with some mutual friends and vegetarianism came up. My roommate kept joking around calling everyone murderers like she often does. One person said he’d thought about going veg but didn’t know if they could give up meat. My roommate assured him that it had been hard at first but if you stuck for it as long as she did you stopped craving it altogether. \n\nI pointed out that she’d sent me a picture of a half eaten chicken sandwich the day before. No one really judged her or said anything but the guy she’d been talking to about it laughed and the conversation moved on shortly. \n\nMy roommate is mad because she says I really embarrassed her. I told her she needed to stop judging people for what they eat and asked why she felt the need to lie. She said her diet is not anyone else’s business but I think she made it their business by lying openly. She isn’t talking to me now.\n\n-\n\nTLDR: I called out my veg roommate for lying about eating meat after she regularly shames other people for their dietary choices ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour roommate sent you a picture of her sandwich without any shame surrounding it, you didn’t sneak behind her back to tell other people what she was doing, it was an open conversation she was participating in and had knowledge of and the topic was relevant. She can be upset all she wants, but what you did was not an asshole move. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve always struggled at school since I was a kid, I would drift off and daydream or get distracted and fidget and forget what I was supposed to be doing, or just be really restless and it would annoy people. My teachers suggested I get tested a few times, but my parents don’t really believe in ADHD, they think it’s just a label for boys who’ve had too much sugar and not enough discipline, and that people just use it as an excuse for being lazy and just needed to try harder. \n\nI ended up dropping out of high-school because I couldn’t keep up even though I swear I was putting in a monumental effort, and tried TAFE instead, where I failed 2 courses and barely passed one with all the additional help they offered. I really don’t think I’m dumb though, I just really struggle to sit still and concentrate long enough to get the information in my head and process it, and especially now that everything is online I’m terrible at time management and sometimes I want to start I just can’t get myself moving. \nI get really overwhelmed by the work and my brain will just be like “nope” and then trying to force myself to sit there and read a paragraph is like smacking my head against a brick wall and I come away absolutely mentally exhausted and need to like sit and stare off into space for a few hours to recuperate. \n\nI’ve just failed another course for getting too far behind, but I’ve actually moved out of home and could go to a doctor and get checked without my Mum knowing, but I feel bad about going behind their back and she’ll  probably find out anyway and be really angry. And if I did end up having ADHD, she would definitely get angry at me for trying to get treated. I just want to find out what’s wrong with my brain so I can actually study and get a job and have a life instead of constantly failing everything. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour mental health should be your top priority.\n\nHow old are you? You can probably schedule an appointment without your parents consent. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a stay-at-home mom with four kids, ages 3-9. Husband has been working from home for the past few weeks. We didn’t have a home office set up before this. He could have chosen the guest room at the back of our house for his work space, as there’s a desk in there. But he said it was too small for him, so he set up in the dining room. He tried to block off an area with room dividers, but it’s not the same as having actual walls. Also, the dining room is (obviously) right next to the kitchen, but also next to our designated playroom for the kids. \n\nHis job is fairly flexible, but we try to stay out of his way while he’s working, especially when he has conference calls. I’ve taken the kids to the back room at times when he’s asked for quiet, or we’ve gone for walks. \n\nOn this particular day, his call was close to lunchtime and I was making food in the kitchen, while the kids were in the playroom, where I can see them from the kitchen. I did have to keep reminding them to keep their voices and playing quieter, but I actually thought they were doing a good job. \n\nWhen the call was over, husband came out of his “office” and said, “well, that was the worst meeting I’ve had. They couldn’t be quiet for one hour. That’s all I asked for: one hour.” I couldn’t even respond. I felt like it was all my fault and I was a terrible person for not taking the kids out of the house for that hour. This feeling was made worse by the fact that there was nowhere to escape in the moment. We’re all stuck at home together. \n\nI have friends who’ve made work-from-home spaces in garages so that they’re away from the noise of their kids. I understand that it’s stressful to change his work environment and that the kids are distracting, but my job has also changed a lot, with no school or activities or friend visits to distract the kids. \n\nSo, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour husband has unreasonable expectations and is being inflexible. He has more ability to work in a small room than your four kids have to be quiet for an hour.\n\nThe only appropriate response is “You’re request was obviously not realistic, and you should have known that. Go set up in the guest room if you need that level of quiet.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have. \n\nReddit AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour grandma is trying to force you to eat how *she* likes to eat. You can eat how you want. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter’s college completely refunded this quarter’s pay. She came back home because they couldn’t keep dorms up. I got a cashier’s check of $14,937 from the college. I was honestly surprised that they refunded it. \n \nWhen I told my family, my daughter complained and said that it was her money. I completely disagreed. I paid for her college, she just worked to save up money and for rent. This 15k was entirely for the family, not just for her. \n \nShe argued that paying for college was a gift, and this was akin to refunding a gift. I again completely disagree. The money was entitled to me, not her. Therefore it’s my money. While I’m not going to use the money solely for myself, I’m going to put it into a savings account for my other kid.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour daughter didn't pay that money, you did.\n\nThe opportunity to go to college was the gift, which she still has.  It isn't her money. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father was born in ‘77 and my husband was born in ‘79. I just so happened to be born in ‘94. Now the age difference between my husband and I does not bother me in the slightest bit. Nor does it bother my grandparents or my siblings only my dad. \n\nMy father didn’t raise me. I lived with my grandparents my entire life and I feel like my dad is more like my brother instead of a father and that my grandfather is more like a father to me. My grandfather is 72. \n\nEvery time we have a family get together my father treats my husband like garbage and my husband is actually very good to me. He loves me unconditionally. I have full trust in him and we are expecting a little boy in November. He’s a sweet man who cried upon hearing the news and has pampered me since the day we found out. \n\nBut my dad says it’s “weird” that they are so close to the same age and I got so tired of him belittling my husband and making him the joke of the evening and I told him “you didn’t raise me, Mamaw and papaw did while you ran around getting drunk all week and hanging out with women, you didn’t even call me on my birthday last week and I doubt you even know what day it was on or even how old I am. I didn’t buy you anything for Father’s Day and bought papaw something instead because you weren’t a father. You were just an over glorified brother and I don’t care if you are uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for me to have a 9 year old brother and my 5 year old daughter has a 9 year old uncle but I don’t go making running jokes about it every time I see you. No one cares that you’re uncomfortable” \n\nWell he got pissed to say the least and stormed off. My stepmom is berating me over it and saying I need to be kinder to my father but enough is enough. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour choices. You are an adult. He is too. He should get over it ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (22M) for coming up on 9 months. We are in a long-distance relationship and haven't seen each other for over a month (since quarantine began) but we FaceTime every day and he is normally very sweet. Today, while FaceTiming, he asked me if he could download Tinder so that he could get new music recommendations from people's profiles. He has a Spotify playlist of songs that he would see on people's profiles (before we were dating) called \"Tinder Tracks.\" He said that it was lacking and he needed to add more songs to it.\n\nI, at first, thought that he was joking but when I asked it seemed like he definitely wasn't. He added that he would put the settings so that he could only see guys. I continued to be upset with him because I just didn't understand why he would want to download Tinder while in a relationship and I thought there were plenty of other better ways to discover new music. I started crying and he said that I wasn't trusting him. I asked if he would've used his own pictures and name and at that point he told me that he wouldn't but to me it seemed like he just said that because I was upset. He justified it by saying that his Spotify playlists are very important to him. We ended up getting in a big fight and I was crying a lot. I don't know if I'm crazy for being mad at him. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour boyfriend is trying to pull a fast one on you. Tinder isn't for music. It sounds like he's trying to get his dick wet. That's like people who say that they join dating apps to make friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (f22) boyfriend (m24) wants me to pretend to be religious and occasionally go to church with his family in the future, for fear that his mother would disapprove. He mentioned it when he found out about my atheism a few weeks after dating, and I was fine with it but now it just feels wrong.\n\nOn one hand, I understand his concern, as my own family disapprove greatly of my atheism, but on the other hand, I feel like he's ashamed of it, and I don't like that I'm once again having to hide a part of myself, for fear of what others think.\n\nHe at first claimed he wasn't that religious, but it became obvious that he is, and I've never had any problem with it. In fact, I love how strongly he feels about his religion, dispite the fact that I don't share it.\n\nI don't want to cause him any altercations with his family, especially since he's currently having to live with them \"(financial trouble), but I also don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, as it makes me feel like he doesn't fully accept me as I am. And there's also the fact that I already agreed to pretend, before I'd really thought about it.\n\nI wouldn't mind going to church with them every now and then, but I want to be able to be open about my atheism.\n\n\nSo WIBTA if I refuse to lie about my religion?\nEither way, I know it's something I need to discuss with him, but I still want the opinion of others. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour boyfriend is TA, but gently. If he's told you that he isn't religious but over time it's become apparent that he is, or isn't willing to let go of any pre-existing relationships he may have had with his church, then this reads to me like he is struggling with what he actually believes in.\n\nIt is natural to not want that outed, especially if he doesn't know himself. He might decide that he is, or he might decide he isn't, or he might convert to another religion, but that train of thought isn't for much else but his own contemplation. \n\nI understand why he would want you to essentially fake it, but he's wrong to ask it. It might be worth sitting down with him and discussing this, try to find out if there is an underlying concern, but don't sacrifice your own beliefs for the sake of keeping his family happy. Your belief or lack thereof is just as important as his and should be respected just as his is. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is going to be pretty short and simple. \n\nAs me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.\n\nAt first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.\n\nI love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.\n\nWill I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYour baby. Your labor. Your choice.\n\nBut just to add, I highly doubt a hospital would allow you to take the baby out of the hospital just to meet your mom. Before, hospitals were even blocking partners from being with laboring moms due to the virus. \n\nSo, while I get she's your mom, for the safety of everyone (especially the baby), your mom should wait for a more suitable time to meet her grandchild. And I don't know all the polices, but this could mean that she doesn't get to meet the baby at the hospital at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (M27) wife (F26) is currently unemployed due to the corona virus and I work as a software engineer for a tech firm. I use my custom built PC for modeling the potential infrastructural flaws in the event of different dangers (from terrorist bombings to a burning building that suddenly floods). Due to the potential dangers associated with the wrong parties having this information, especially government buildings, the pc runs on an encrypted software. \n\nI tend to work at night due to my sleep schedule just naturally keeping me up later etc. My wife has taken to installing simple games like Minecraft and csgo to fulfill her day, seeing as I do not use the pc while she does. She hid the game files and their data in a plain looking folder labeled “extra.” An email a few days later from my manager concerning a series of suspicious downloads led me to discover said folder. I quickly terminated the entire folder and apologized to my manager for the breach explaining the situation, which is now pending a review to ensure the security of the rest of the files. \n\nWhile I’ve been assured that it’s standard procedure and the computer wasn’t compromised, I’m still upset she would risk my job over some stupid entertainment! To make matters worse she was mad at me over the lost game data which she spent many hours designing a neighborhood saying I could have easily transferred the data onto a different disk! I tried explaining how the presence of outside software was a risk even if everything is from a verified source etc. We got into a huge argument with her accusing me of sucking up all the oxygen in our apartment over my career and destroying her art and mental growth and sanity during this quarantine. She further went on to imply that I was being a bad husband by only sharing with her physically in a world where technology is integrated into our everyday lives. Please let me know AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou’re not some little kid who won’t let their sister play on their Xbox, this is your work device so the fact she thinks she can download games to it is astounding.\n\nThat’s not even taking into consideration the fact that she knows how important that device is for security purposes.\n\nDon’t let her guilt you into thinking you’re a bad husband because you care about your job (and the only source of income you guys have). ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.\n\nI live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to \"fuck off back to our own country\" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.\n\nBut their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.\n\nMy solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)\n\nIve tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.\n\nI could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.\n\nBut I have to know Aita? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou’re just playing music, they sound as though they have been terrorising you. \n\nCan you move away? ######"}
{"prompt":"I [20 M] live with my mum and brother [8]. I've wanted a switch since it came out but life and other hobbies have gotten in the way. Over the quarentine my expenses have gone down since I no longer have to buy food at uni, and I should have enough pocket money to pay off the rest of this year's fees and to get a Switch. \n\nHowever, my brother's been very uncooperative with studying as he wants to play videogames all day instead. Because of this my mum has told me to not get a Switch, as she wants to cut my brother's gaming time and feels that even if I were the one to get the switch with my own money, he'd still see it as a reward.\n\nI've already decided to not got the Switch to keep the peace, but am I the only one who feels it's unfair that my brother's misbehaving is directly affecting what I can do with my own money?\n\nINFO EDIT: I could absolutely keep it in my room and restrict his access to it. If I was really commited I could probably have it without him ever knowing (although I probably wouldn't go that far) ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou're a 20 year old adult. You can purchase whatever you'd like. Get the switch and just don't let your brother play it and keep it locked somewhere so he doesn't try to sneak it. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. \"I don't know.\" That seemed like a red flag to me.\nBut then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou were being generous, and when you found the amount you originally agreed upon, she tried to choose like she had a right to.\n\nBeggars can’t be choosers.\n\nX-post on r\/ChoosingBeggars please ######"}
{"prompt":"My child will be 2 in just a few months and I plan to switch his car seat from rear to forward facing at that point. He'll still be a few pounds below the max weight for his rear facing, but I'm going to switch him anyways. My reasons are he gets carsick and I'm hoping that will help, I'm the only one who loads or unloads him and it's getting painful for both of us, and it's much easier to see and help him while in the car. My husband thinks we should follow the strictest car seat rules, so leave him rear facing until he is exceeding the weight limit. My argument is that he's not the one who loads\/unloads or drives him around, plus he'll still be in an approved car seat and has already surpassed the minimum for forward facing.\nI finally told him as long as I'm doing all the car seat related activities, and I'm following the law, I'll do it the way I see fit. Now he's says ITA for ignoring what he wants and putting our child at risk. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou switch when the low weight limit on forward facing is reached. The reason it overlaps is because to give you the option on which seat to use. \nAnd if you are doing the seating (why doesnt he do it?) then its your decision.\n\nEdit.\nAnd waiting until he exceeds the weighlimit IS putting the child at risk. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general.\n\nOn the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks!\n\nWhen I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful.\n\nI got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou specifically said no because of the dogs and he went outside and lit them anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"The other day we had to suddenly take my seven year old niece for the night because my nephew, who is four, managed to get a pretty nasty gash to his head when he fell off his bike. My sisters (26) husband was out of state dealing with something to do with his family so we, my parents and younger sister (18F) and I (21), ended up taking my niece in for the night. She was pretty cranky all day because she wanted to be home with her new puppy, I told her that if she behaved then she could play on my Nintendo Switch for half an hour the next morning before my sister picked her up*. \n\nWell, she didn’t behave. She was honestly a little demon all night, but the next day she still demanded to play the Switch. I told her no because she didn’t behave. Well, she went to my mom and pulled the whole innocent granddaughter trick. My mother, who is an extremely kind person and spoils her grandchildren rotten because they’re the only grandkids she has right now (my younger sister and I aren’t having kids for years, college and career first). So she told me to let her play the Switch. \n\nI told her no, I bought it with my own money (I’m in college and work my ass off, saved little by little to afford a Switch) and she didn’t follow along with the deal. My dad also thinks I should have let my niece play, as does my older sister. The only member of my family on my side is my little sister. I know my niece is seven but she needs to understand that not everything needs to be given to her when she wants them. My parents and older sister keep making me feel guilty though, so that’s why I’m turning to the internet. \n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? \n\n*My niece is getting limited screen time right now because when her school first went online she was ignoring her homework and my sister got a pretty nasty email. My parents won’t enforce it at our house but I am with the technology that I personally own. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou set expectations for something and your niece agreed to the terms.  Sure, she's young, but as her family you've taken on some of the responsibility of helping her grow as a person. It takes a village and whatever....\n\nAnyway, I believe you provided her a valuable life lesson and hopefully she'll learn from it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everyone.\n\nI live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.\n\nMy wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.\n\nOur next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.\n\nToday my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.\n\nI stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.” \n\nI came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.\n\nMy wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou set conditions.\nThey agreed to these conditions.\nThey are now violating these conditions.\n\nErgo, they have voluntarily triggered whatever consequences come. ######"}
{"prompt":"On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. \nMy nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life. \nMy boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying.\nMy nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes. \nI got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this. \nOne of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying \"come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard.\" And \"it'll only take 5 minutes.\" But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video. \nI'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou seem very calm and well-collected, as well as very punctual and thorough with communication; you are **definitely** not being an asshole in my eyes.  \nIf you decided to do their silly birthday gimmick and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday, I can't deny it would've seemed like you put in the extra mile. But to hold it against you? Fuck that. If management puts your mental state below a silly 10-second video, that's ridiculous and they're the assholes imho. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11.  I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister  asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke\n\nMy PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk\n\nMy Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor\n\nA Dell desktop and 2 monitors \n\nMac computer by downloading viruses \n\nA keyboard\n\nMy copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it\n\nMy old phone\n\nA Samsung tablet\n\nXbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)\n\nXbox one disc (about 5)\n\nAnd a few other things.\n\nWith her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.\n\nLuckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived. \n\nSo guys and gals, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou have a right to protect your stuff, especially if she has a history of destroying things. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, after I get off my 12hr shift from treating covid patients at the hospital. I park and am going upstairs. My wife stopped by her car so I planned to meet her in the lobby to go up the elevator to our apartment. \n\nRight as the door opens she says some guy started coughing on her on the way to the elevator. He was with his sister and niece. After my wife turns around and says “are you serious?” He laughs and says “it’s a joke”. \n\nBut this ticked me off, i go upstairs and confront the guy. Asking him if he thinks it’s funny to cough on people and say it’s a joke. He insistently continues it’s a joke, I’m sorry. I tell him i work with covid patients everyday and see them die on a daily basis. He then starts getting nervous and starts stuttering. But still insistent that it was a harmless joke. I ask him if it’s funny in a pandemic and he still says yes. He starts blaming it on he’s been quarantined for 8 weeks and he’s not thinking straight. We ask him if that’s the type of behavior he teaches his niece and he can’t answer. \n\nI tell him, you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still transmit the disease. If you get my wife sick, you are responsible. He continues to chuckle and say it’s a joke. Until I tell him if she gets sick, you will be charged with acts of terrorism with a biological weapon as the Justice Department so nicely stated recently in March. He then gets scared and profusely apologizes. However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke. \n\nI ask him for his ID so i can take a picture for contact tracing. He refuses, so i take a picture of him. \n\nI reported him to the local PD. Who now has opened a case and has requested his personal information from our leasing office. \n\nSo Reddit, pandemic and all AITA for reporting him? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou gave him multiple opportunities to stop thinking it's OK to continuing doing that. \n\nAnd even then after this:\n\n> However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke. \n\nHe still didn't change his mind nor attitude.  It sounds like he'd keep doing it but to others as well.  People like him can potentially infect others just for his amusement.\n\nGood on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (20M) am friends with her (20F). She moved from America with her family around a year ago for permanent here to England.\n\nOne of the things she was surprised by was the usage of the word cunt. She came with me to a lot of parties and would hear the word used a lot by both guys ans girls.alike. \n\nShe definitely was shocked by it. \n\nWell we face timed yesterday and she said that when lockdown is over and parties happen again, she is going to \"take a stand\" whenever she hears the word used in a social setting. \n\nI told her that's a bad idea as the cultural connotation of the word in the UK, especially among younger people, is massively different to America. It's the equivalent of telling people to stop saying the word mate, that it wouldn't go down well if she tried to police that word.\n\nExample of the times shes disliked use of the word, at parties people would say \"hey up cunt\" to one another (noone said it to her but she saw other people say it to others), \"you daft cunt\" (in a joking maner) etc.\n\nWell I told her my view that cunt is one of those things she just has to accept is different here and she got upset and called me ashole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou can’t go to a foreign place and get angry that they don’t follow your culture. She need to stop forcing her own rules in a foreign place. It’s literally just a word, and it’s not even an offensive slur. ######"}
{"prompt":"I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou bought it for *you*. Its not fair that they use it so often that you never get a chance to use *your own* property. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and the gf decided to watch an episode of this show we are watching and about 30mins in I go to check my phone to reply to a message and she slaps the phone out of my hand on to the bed.\n\nI huffed and said can she not do that and as soon as I picked the phone up she did it again.\n\nI got annoyed and said to her sternly I did not like that she did that and she thought I wasn't being serious the first time and said it was just a joke.\n\nI told her I didn't find it funny because I was just replying to a message and also she could damage the phone. She said I was just mindlessly scrolling through my phone and that I'm being ridiculous if I think her slapping my phone could actually break it because we were on the bed.\n\n\nShe's now sad because I flipped at her about it and that I'm over reacting because she can't understand how I don't find it funny.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nYou asked her to stop, she didn't. Also, when is it ever okay to slap things out of people's hands?\n\nAnd lastly, it doesn't take a genius to figure out the *slap* itself probably wouldn't break the phone, but knocking it out of your hand and it hitting a hard surface, would. C'mon. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband and I currently live in an apartment, but we’ve been looking to move into a house so that we can have kids, and they would get a yard and all that comes with a house. We’ve found a house that meets most of our criteria, but there is one problem. The house is ancient. It was built in the 1800s, and it still only had a wood furnace and wood stove. Meaning that we would have to cook on a wood stove. Our agreement is that I cook 4\/7 days a week, he cooks 2\/7 and we get takeout or eat out for one. But he’s pretty lazy about keeping up his side of that and I don’t really mind cooking so it’s more like I cook 5 or 6 days and we get takeout one.\n\nI’m not resentful of that, he has a much more intensive job and is tired at the end of the day, but it does mean I feel I should get more say when it comes to what we have to cook on.\n\nThe reason this house is good for us is it’s cheap for the area while not being too small. But if we move I want to upgrade the stove to gas or electric(probably electric as the house doesn’t have gas). He says it’s a waste of money and ruins the charm of the house. I do not want to deal with the hassle of cooking on a wood stove. I can put up with the furnace, although that’s annoying too, I have enough to worry about while cooking, I don’t want to try and keep the fire at the right heat to cook on.\n\nI said if we don’t replace the stove then I wouldn’t be cooking. He said it’s unfair and he’s just trying to save money. It’s not going to hurt us too much to replace the stove, we’re buying the house full cash, and will have enough leftover.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nWood stoves are very cool.\n\nThey're also utterly impractical for every day cooking in the 21st century. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19m) am living at home with my parents right now because of my campus's closing and have no real expenses while quarantined since they pay for most of our food, and my brother (25m) is home from medical school now too. I am making a fair amount of money tutoring students remotely over the summer, and I was told today by my mom and dad today that I should give my brother the money I'm making to help him pay down some of his undergrad student loans.\n\nTheir argument is as follows. His undergrad cost a lot because his school was private, but mine cost very little because mine was public. His med school finances are a separate issue. Basically, if it wasn't for his \"mistake\" of taking on so much debt first, I wouldn't have known to make the smart choice of saving myself from it.\n\nTo be clear, my brother has helped me to pay for things like a car and a computer, but I have paid him back each time. He has helped me out when he did not have to do so before, then, but it seems like I'm being punished ultimately for making a better choice early on. I think my parents really want to help fix his problems, and I think he is pretty nervous about money himself, but I don't understand it to be my moral obligation to support him. Furthermore, I did not enjoy the perks that he did from going to a more expensive school.\n\nSo finally, I told them I would not give him the money that I am making this summer. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nWhy are you the one being asked to help him out? You're 19 for pete's sake, you are not olbigated to help him out with something he took on as his own responsibility.\n\nIf he needs help he should go to his parents, even then they aren't obligated, no one is but him.\n\nI hate these posts where people make out that you have to help your family out money wise, you do not, it's their life and they will take responsiblity. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention. \n\nExcept this intervention was for his \"gaming addiction\". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence. \n\nMy teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time. \n\nI then went and broke up their \"intervention\" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down. \n\nI said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nwho the hell do they think they are.\n\nIf they want to do an intervention so badly, don't do it at the person's own home, and certainly not after what happened with your daughter.\n\nYour in laws sound entitled ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my biological father 3 years ago (I’m 27 now) and we’ve been mending the relationship. We’ve become close friends and I’ve forgiven him for the mistakes he made leaving in the past. I was formally adopted by my step dad at age 3 and he and my mother have been raising me with my two sisters my entire life. \n\nAll that aside, my two sisters are angry that I would invite my bio dad to my wedding because they’re concerned that it would upset my step dad. They were both angry that I met my bio dad in the first place because they feel I shouldn’t need anyone else. \n\nI understand their concern, but I feel like that’s a convo I should have with my step dad and mom. My sisters getting mad on their behalf just makes me want to elope. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nWhen my dad got remarried, he gave my sister and me a speech.  \"I do not have a finite amount of love to give.  The amount of love I can feel for people is unlimited, so if I show love to my new wife, or to her kids or family, that does not mean that I love you any less.\"\n\nLove is not a finite resource.  You can love your stepdad all the same and open yourself up to new people.  A relationship with your bio-dad doesn't change the relationship you had with your step-dad.  There is no competition.  The only competition that exists is in the minds of the petty and jealous. ######"}
{"prompt":"Not too much to say, but she wants to lose weight and I keep telling her not eating isnt the way to go, she needs to just eat the right type of foods and exercise. But shes really mad that I dont want her to only have water for 20 days to lose weight. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta.\n\nWhat she's doing is extremely dangerous and can kill her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today, my dad decided to pick up Popeyes for lunch today. He asked me(16) and my sister (12) and my mom if we wanted chicken. I said yes, my mom said yes, but my sister said she wasn’t hungry, no. So my dad decided to get fries and 10 chicken wings. \n\nFast forward to when there was one chicken left. I took it, and started eating. My sister ate more than half of the fries and one whole chicken wing after saying she wasn’t hungry. So she asked me if she could have the wing, but I said no, she had a bunch of fries, and a wing after saying she didn’t want any. So I have her a generous amount of chicken. She ate it, but still got mad at me for not giving her the whole chicken. \n\nShe called me a “greedy swine”, and cursed me out in front of my parents, and stormed away. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nWhat did your sister expect? She clearly said she doesn't want any food and then gets angry after she's not given said food? That's just ridiculous ######"}
{"prompt":"Fiancé (24M) and I (24F) recently got engaged. We are in the very early planning stages.\n\nRecently the topic of dress shopping came up. Fiancé asked if his mom would be invited. I said no. I’ve always envisioned it with my mom and maybe an aunt or two, especially the one that is my godmother and has no daughters. Fiancé seemed offended and thinks his mom will be too. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but his mom is pretty blunt and I don’t want any harsh opinions on that day. I don’t want to be one of those brides like on Say Yes to the Dress who brings too many people with her and they all have different opinions and then it’s really hard to get a dress. I don’t even plan on inviting my maid of honor. \n\nEverything else about wedding planning involves making sure everyone else is happy and having fun, as it should be, so  I think this one thing should be special and just for me. I think who I bring should be my choice. \n\nSo AITA?\n\nTLDR: fiancé wants me to invite his mom to go wedding dress shopping. I said no, I’ve always thought it would just be me and my mom and maybe an aunt or two. I think this should be my choice. He’s offended. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nWedding dress shopping is stressful. I know from experience. The more opinions, the more stressful it gets. I also do think it is a special mother-daughter moment, that maybe you want with just your own mother.\n\nIf you do feel you need to appease her...I went wedding dress shopping a variety of times. Once with a friend, once with another, and once with my mom. Maybe you could go and try on some dresses just to appease her. It could be fun. But not necessarily have to pick out “the dress”. \n\nThere are so many other wedding activities she could be involved in, if you wanted her to be.. it doesn’t have to be just that one (Picking or making party favors? Picking a song Mother-Son dance? Cake testing?) Lord knows there’s a lot that goes into the wedding. She could be involved in other things too (of course, only if you want her to be) ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nShe decided to put away a bottle of edibles in the pantry, then they somehow were moved to the dinner table. It's a pastel pink colored bottle. The kids could easily mistake them for candy. I have pre teens and 2 younger kids. \n\nMy one year old was able to open the bottle with ease. Thankfully none of the kids consumed any.\n\nI yelled at her quite harshly because I'm exhausted from work all week and am very irritable when sleepy. I told her they need to be in the medicine cabinet or somewhere more secure. You don't just leave any kind of drug just accessible to kids.\n\nShe's now mad at me for yelling at her....... Simple as that. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nUsually I might lean ESH for the yelling but in this instance I believe it was warranted. That was incredibly reckless for her to do.\n\nEdit: ESH\n\nYelling in front of your kids isn’t cool, and the more you describe it the more you seem to be borderline bragging about how angry and loud you got. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents always think im a careless person like sometimes i forgot bring my wallet, forget where i place my key. They always remind me anything , always lock the door before going out, and i never forget to lock the door so why always remind me of that. sometimes people forget, its normal i think. They almost regulate everything in my life including my daughter, for example my daughter (Chloe) throwing tantrum dont want to take a bath, and i just want to trick her to take a bath with my way and it may take some time to beg her to take a bath. Not with my mom, she want my daughter immediately take a bath like forcing her , and chloe will cry out loud. I prefer to beg her to take a bath than to calm her down when she cry. So im moving to new house with my wife after 3 years living with my parents. they ask me to install CCTV in my house considering me and my wife are working so the house can be monitored online. The problem is my parents want to have access on my CCTV too. They said to prevent me from being careless like forget to turn off the gas stove or leaving it while cooking something and help monitoring my house. I feel like i dont have my privacy if they can monitoring my house everytime. so i lied to them that it can only monitored by one phone, so since i already added it to my phone, i cant set it to another phone. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThis would be a huge violation of your privacy, and a huge sign of disrespect, both to you and your wife.\n\nIf they genuinely think you're a danger to your family, then a CCTV isn't going to help. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.\n\nFor a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.\n\nWe currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.\n\nShe says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.\n\nAMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?\n\nEdit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThis just *screams* bad idea. You'd all have to move to a new apartment to have an 18 year old kid move in. And how long have they been talking to each other exactly? Not very long I bet. I would be completely against it. She doesn't actually know this guy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day.\n\nI received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor.\n\nWhen they  told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive.\n\nI got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one.\n\nAnyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week.  I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThis is cut and dry, they failed to uphold their end of a signed contract.  That's what contacts are for. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel so awkward I’m new to this office and quite younger (recent grad) than my boss and coworkers- they are mid 30s I’m 22. The boss said our team should bond and have a team lunch - so we all meet up there and it’s a place where you build your own bowl.\n\nMy boss is in the middle of us and tells the workers to just put everything on her card. Fast forward - we all eat lunch (6 of us) and at the end I was the only one to say thank you for lunch and everyone looked and she looked a little surprised and said “you’re welcome”. \n\nNow I am realizing I think she probably just put it on her card to make it faster and was expecting us all to pay her back via cash or Venmo. I feel really stupid. She never said it was her treat so I should have known better and now I’m wondering do I apologize days later or let it go but if I let it go AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThis is a pretty reasonable assumption to make. Nearly every time I've gone out for a team lunch with my boss across the past three jobs, they've paid. I wouldn't worry about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"okay,so me(15f) got a phone last year, and ever since then my mom and my grandma are forcing me to tell them my password,my grandma always tries to snoop around my phone and check all the photos...\n\nI dont take my phone everywhere,i dont take my phone to school as it is not allowed.my mom says that whenever there is no battery on her phone and she needs to talk to somebody,then she can use mine so she wants to know my password...but I'm 1000% sure she uses it for watching shows,youtube  and complete the mobile data i have on my phone,she also doesn't login into her account so everything she watches comes up in my youtube account.It's annoying.\n\nMy grandma tries to snatch my phone and see what i have in it even though i warned her not to.my mom and my grandma argue with me for not telling them my password.i dont want them to know every single thing i do.\n\nI genuinely think that I'm not TA for it cuz u know,...privacy but I'm having second thoughts,\n AITA for it? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThis is a one way ticket to never telling them anything when you're older, and is completely disrespectful of your personal space. ######"}
{"prompt":"I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThey're just cheap and trying to get what's clearly advertised at a cost,  for free.\n\nOr maybe they're delusional enough to think they can so charm you that you won't be able to resist waiving your fee.\n\nAnd  you already know what the name calling is about..salty when they realize they're not that charming. \n\nFuck em. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a graduate student in Illinois.  I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends.   When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food.  It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves.  I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat.  During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me.  At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying \"I would like to eat just my food\".  As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food.  After the fourth time asking, I agreed.  As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back.  \n\nA few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75.  My meal was $15.  What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried.  Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times.   I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it.    I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it.  What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThey took advantage of you. Cultural or not, that is just wrong. Sorry you have shitty friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened years ago but I was recently thinking about it and got mad all over again. I’ve talked about it to and there’s some people that think I was in the wrong so I figured I’d ask reddit for your opinion. \n\nWhen I was 18 I started working at a pet store. I felt I was a good employee. Honest and hard working. They didn’t like that I didn’t pressure people into financing dogs though. I still did my job and sold a fair of animals. After a few months it started to wear on me because of how horrible the animals were treated. At least one of the dogs or cats was sick at all times and one even died. So I started looking for a new job. I eventually found one at a gas station and put in my two weeks notice. The issue was that I put in the notice the day before I went on vacation for two weeks because my husband was coming home on leave from Iraq. They told me if I didn’t actually work those two weeks then it wouldn’t count and I would not ever be able to work there again. \n\nI had put in for vacation time a month ahead of time so my shifts were already covered. Since the point of two weeks notice is to give them time to hire someone else, why would it matter if I actually worked those two weeks or not? Anyway, when my husband got home we moved an hour away from the gas station I was working at so I had to quit. I was desperate for a job and there was another location of that pet store near our new apartment so I figured I’d try. They definitely communicated with the other location and refused to hire me. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThe two week's notice is really more of a courtesy so your employer has time to fill the vacancy; whether or not you're on vacation is besides the point. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThe pictures have you in them, and you didn’t give your consent to be posted online. If she refuses, you can report them to Facebook and they can remove them. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme. \n\n Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThe douche canoe who outed your marriage on Social media is an A1 Asshole, and your family is pretty shitty for not being understanding. After you explained the situation to your family, did they calm down or continue to be dicks about it? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I used to babysit for a old high school friend and loved working for them they had two kids a little girl who just turned two and a boy who was 8. They were very well behaved kids and I really enjoyed watching them. The mom had asked me to come to the girls 2nd birthday party and I said yes without hesitation and really looked forward to the food the dad said was gonna be there. Well the day comes and I'm told to be there at 1 and I showed up and no one was there yet and nothing had been set up and when I asked if I got the time wrong the mom said \"no your right in time to start setting things up\" and started pointing to all the boxes of decorations.  At first I thought that maybe she had asked for help and I didn't hear it so I put my gift I got her down and grabbed a box and started setting up. The dad eventually starts the grill and I'm thinking that ok they gonna start helping but no they come and tell me that they going to get ready and to keep an eye on the baby. \n\nI didn't know what was going on but I was starting to figure it out slowly and when guests start showing up  they finally come out of their room and get drinks and snacks ready and when one of their guest asked where do they set the gifts down the mom who was holding the two year old walks over to me hands me the child and said I've had plenty of time to set up and can watch the baby while she fixes everything I messed up (apparently the gifts were supposed to go on a table that I didn't have time to set up).\n\nI set the child down and grabbed my bag and walked out. Within 10 minutes my phone was blowing up asking where I went and calling me a asshole for leaving and it's my fault the baby got into some of the gifts cause I left and so on. I seriously thought they invited me cause I was apart of their lives and they wanted me to be a guest. I don't think I was a asshole for leaving but I've got about 20 text saying otherwise. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThe deceived you into coming and then tried to get free child care out of it.\n\nYou owe them nothing and were 100% in your rights to leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me. \n\nI’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me. \n\nIn my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.\n\nNow on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan. \n\nThat made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic\/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic\/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThe behaviour they are displaying is 100% biphobic\/panphobic. They are treating the LGBTQI+ community as an exclusive club that you have to be a certain way to get into and mimicking the very attitude that LGBTQI+ stands against. It is YOUR choice to identify as the sexuality that you do, and not theirs to tell you what you can and can't do. Even if you were an ally, and not queer, they still wouldn't have an excuse to not want to go to pride with you on those terms. That's not what friends do and is extremely childish on their part. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault.  The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.  \n\nMy sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough.  I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work.  She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me.  Her biggest insult she always calls me is \"divorce baby\" and I hate it with a passion.  Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over.  I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.  \n\nHer birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down \"happy birthday\" and called it a day.  My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby.  She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThat’s a horrible thing to call someone good God. Of course you weren’t going to get her a gift, what did people expect? ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright. So, kids are definitely a far off thing. I’m still under 18 and I don’t personally feel prepared to raise a kid, nor do I think I will be for the next good few years. But today some of my friends were talking about what they want their kids name to be (again just hypothetical future kids, none of my friends are actively pregnant). I chimed in, saying that I’ve always liked the name Laura. One of my fairly close friends asked if I’m really fit to be a mom or if it’d be unfair to the kid. Here’s the thing- I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. It does impact my life obviously, but I can still do most normal people things. \n\nI removed myself from the conversation to think for a while. I’ve never really thought fully about whether I want kids, but I certainly never thought that it’d be unfair to the kid just because I can’t walk. I PMd my friend asking if she really thought that it’d be unfair after the group chat convo moved on, and she doubled down and said yeah because kids deserve normal parents, and it’s unfair that I would take that away from them. Honestly idk what to think now. I’m a bit upset, but I don’t want to make a scene or anything. And I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and maybe she’s right. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThat was rude and uncalled for. Why are they your friend? ######"}
{"prompt":"I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nThat really sucks. You're 19 and, whilst you're still young, you definitely shouldn't be treated like a child anymore. *Grounding you*? Really?\n\nHopefully you get to move out soon and have your space. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 20, when I was 18 my father told me that I have an older half-brother(23) we officially met when I was 19, from day one I knew there was something off about him, he really gave off bad vides so I did my best to keep a distance. \n\nBut my Dad started inviting him to our family holidays, my brother kept on being really odd around me, making weird comments about my appearance and obsessively complementing me, he had a hard time keeping eye contact and always fiddled with a pocket knife he kept in his pocket. \n\nI honestly disliked being around him because of how odd he is. He send me a message of him Confessing his “love”for me,  I told him he’s disgusting told all our family and family friends about his gross confession. \n\nMy dad was angry at me, probably because he feels guilty for not being involved in his life. He told me I’m an awful person for exposing my brother like that and that he’s going through some mental heath issues and that I should’ve kept quiet, I don’t see him as my brother just some stranger who happens to share the same dad. \n\nAm I really the asshole for showing everyone my brothers true colours ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nTelling the rest of the family was a very smart move because Dad's guilt over not being there for him is overshadowing his protective instincts for you, his daughter.\n\nNow everyone else knows something isnt right and can monitor the brother's interactions with you.\n\nAbsolutely stay far away from the pocket knife weilding person expressing inappropriate love for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend does not use social media and does not have a Facebook account. She’s not off the grid or worried about online privacy, she just doesn’t use it. Her dog has its own Instagram account though, FWIW. \n\nShe wanted to do a livestream yoga class that the instructor is putting on weekly and therefore needed to be able to sign into Facebook. She asked for my login credentials, saying that I could change my password afterwards. She is doing the class weekly. \n\nI declined to give her my info and she is still salty about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nTell her to create a facebook account for her dog.  She can use that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father was born in ‘77 and my husband was born in ‘79. I just so happened to be born in ‘94. Now the age difference between my husband and I does not bother me in the slightest bit. Nor does it bother my grandparents or my siblings only my dad. \n\nMy father didn’t raise me. I lived with my grandparents my entire life and I feel like my dad is more like my brother instead of a father and that my grandfather is more like a father to me. My grandfather is 72. \n\nEvery time we have a family get together my father treats my husband like garbage and my husband is actually very good to me. He loves me unconditionally. I have full trust in him and we are expecting a little boy in November. He’s a sweet man who cried upon hearing the news and has pampered me since the day we found out. \n\nBut my dad says it’s “weird” that they are so close to the same age and I got so tired of him belittling my husband and making him the joke of the evening and I told him “you didn’t raise me, Mamaw and papaw did while you ran around getting drunk all week and hanging out with women, you didn’t even call me on my birthday last week and I doubt you even know what day it was on or even how old I am. I didn’t buy you anything for Father’s Day and bought papaw something instead because you weren’t a father. You were just an over glorified brother and I don’t care if you are uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for me to have a 9 year old brother and my 5 year old daughter has a 9 year old uncle but I don’t go making running jokes about it every time I see you. No one cares that you’re uncomfortable” \n\nWell he got pissed to say the least and stormed off. My stepmom is berating me over it and saying I need to be kinder to my father but enough is enough. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nStand your ground. It sounds like your father is more worried about how he thinks things look than how things are. He isnt concerned for your wellbeing (a reasonable parental feeling) so much as throwing a tantrum that you made an adult decision he doesnt like. ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.\n\nBut my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped. \n\nAnd my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.\n\nThey’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nSounds like you've outgrown your immature friends. I hope you can find some more accepting ones, in addition to your boyfriend's friends! ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.  \n\nYesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 \/10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10\/10 \n\nHe accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nSometimes you need to give your friends a reality check. He kept constantly complaining about how he couldn't find a single person because he's only looking for people he deems as a 10\/10 when he could already have someone if he lowered bis expectations a bit. ######"}
{"prompt":"first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize. \n\na little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that. \n\nso back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left. \n\nfew days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.\n\nfyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already. \n\nso i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe’s rude and insensitive and the whole offering up her daughter like she owns her is just disgusting.\n\nDo not apologise. She’s the one who owes you an apology as well as her daughter.\n\nIf she’s stopped talking to you I’d count that as a win. Can you imagine if she actually was your MIL?! Blegh.\n\nFacebook drama every time you didn’t do as she said. PFO. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F19) had an argument with my step mom and dad the other night. It wasn’t related to my clothing but because of the argument, my step mom started listing off things the doesn’t like that I’ve been doing. \nOne of those things, the thing I believe is unreasonably at best and highly misogynistic at worst, is that I need to be dressing more modestly around the house. She “hates to see my ass and tits hanging out all the time”.  She also said “I don’t know why you dress like that around your father.” Which I find to be disgusting. So let’s break it down..\n•She is 15 weeks pregnant \n•She does not leave her room EVER (which I understand because I’m a mom too)\n•I have been living here three weeks and neither of my parents have complained until now about ANYTHING. \n•I have followed all of the rules they bothered to tell me upon moving in.\n•I paid rent on time plus groceries which was nearly half of my monthly paycheck.\n\nShe and I have butt heads before because I am an atheist and she is Mormon. They want me to come to church, I refuse. They want to teach my toddler daughter about God, I refuse. So the relationship there is already unsteady. \nI told her that she obviously has a lot of internalized misogyny to try and slut shame me over my clothes. She thinks I need to apologize for saying that and now my dad is accusing me of ruining their marriage. \nBut the way I see it, she refuses to accept me for who I am, she doesn’t respect my beliefs the way I’ve respected hers, and now she’s telling me that I have no self-respect because of the way I dress. I feel as though she owes me an apology. I just made her a birthday cake from scratch and and homemade frosting because the canned stuff makes her sick. I thought we’d bond more now that she’s pregnant and we had something in common. But I suppose not. \nI’m truly hurt by what she said and I’m hurt that my dad is blaming me for her being angry with him. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe's in a cult, and was probably raised by one. The last thing you want to do is expose your children to that, except to warn them away from anything related to it.\n\nYour dad knows she's in the wrong, but he's weak and a coward, and he knows that the easiest solution is for you - the reasonable one - to acquiesce for the sake of keeping the peace. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a new mother, my son is 3 weeks old. Forgive me for any mistakes, I didn’t sleep much last night.\n\nMy sister lives with us, we own our house, she doesn’t pay rent, she lives with us because she can’t afford to live on her own. I had hoped she’d move out before I gave birth but she didn’t.\n\nI normally feed our son in our bedroom or his room, but yesterday my husband and I were watching tv, and I was holding him and he got hungry, and I was tired and didn’t want to go upstairs just to feed him and be stuck alone. My sister was out buying groceries(that we are paying for) so I didn’t think it would be a problem.\n\nShe came home in the middle of me feeding him and freaked out saying it was gross to do that in the living room and to go somewhere private, and she didn’t want to see my tits(her words).\n\nI didn’t have the energy to explain why I didn’t go upstairs so I just went into the bathroom with him. But now she’s making comments whenever I’m holding him like “don’t take your tits out here”. I’m just tired, I don’t think it was really that big a deal, and werrr fucking paying for the house. Also, would I be an asshole if I told her to go fuck herself because I really want to. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe's got a lot of nerve for complaining about breastfeeding for someone figuratively suckling at your teat. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have never wanted kids. I have made this clear to every person I have dated. When I married my now ex, she knew this. She was okay with it, or so I thought. 3 years in, she mentioned adoption and I shut it down, reminding her I never wanted kids and that children deserve a parent who wants them. She stayed with me for another 3 years and eventually filed for divorce 2 years ago. I wasn’t surprised because outside the kid thing, we had other issues.\n\nWe got married in our 40s, so by the time we divorced we were in our 50s. I moved out and didn’t see her for awhile after the final meeting. Then one night recently I decided to take advantage of my favorite restaurant having outdoor dining again. As I was eating, my ex approached me. We made small talk and eventually she said she was angry with me. This took me off guard. She told me that I “stole the best years of her life” and “because of you, I’ll never have kids”.\n\nI laughed in her face. I said she knew going in I didn’t want kids and why should I bend on that? I said if she feels guilty for not having a baby, it’s on her not me. She got even more upset and left.\n\nMy brother thinks I could’ve handled it better and not laughed at her. I think she was being ridiculous but am willing to admit I might’ve been an asshole. So, was I? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe was being ridiculous, would've been hard not to laugh. ######"}
{"prompt":"first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize. \n\na little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that. \n\nso back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left. \n\nfew days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.\n\nfyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already. \n\nso i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe sounds entitled,  mean and petty.\n\nGood for you for leaving.\n\nSorry for your loss, losing someone is always tough, and I suppose this isn't helping.\n\nStay strong ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.\n\nShe stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing.  Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.\n\nI thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom.  \"Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime\"\n\nShe nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said \"no\".\n\nMy husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me \"well thats still his mom\", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe kinda disappears from your son's life and still expects a congratulation on mother's day? \n\n> but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place. \n\nAlso this. If he's not interested, that's it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello friends. I am a T1 diabetic, so I need to keep my insulin in the fridge. Lately I’ve been staying with my girlfriend who lives with her parents, who are very kind to temporarily take me in. I got there yesterday and I was unpacking and asked her if I could put my boxes of insulin in her fridge. She looked a bit uncomfortable and said first that there’s no space. I said this is objectively not true because their fridge is massive (she has four siblings but none of them are at home now) and there’s literally hectares of space, and besides I don’t need that much. She moved on to the next excuse which is that it’s weird to have my medication out in the open like that for other people to see. This one has really hurt my feelings. I mean it’s not like I asked for this illness. I literally need it to live. I tried to explain this to her and she said it’s their property and I should respect what they want to do with it. She also asked me not to do my injections in front of anyone else which makes me feel asif she’s somehow ashamed of me and my condition ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nShe is iiterally telling you that you can't have your insulin because it makes people uncomfortable. I see that as a complete dealbreaker. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a senior in HS. In December one of my classmates got into a bad car accident that did a lot of damage. She had several surgeries, and is in need of more for her face. Her insurance won’t cover it, hence the GoFundMe. \n\nI was never friendly with this girl. She spread nasty rumors about a friend of mine, and I always had a tainted view of her. Outside of that incident I never talked to her, and didn’t know she knew that I existed. \n\nSo my classmates are sending around a GoFundMe and a link to T-shirts for sale and I see that my artwork has been used! \n\nMy artwork has nothing to do with her cause, it was a Picasso style self portrait that was an assignment for class. I posted it to twitter. They were using it on T-shirts and in promotions without my permission.\n\nI got into contact with the girl and her friend who is running everything and asked them to take my artwork off of their GoFundMe. At first they said that they didn’t know it was mine, and would credit me (they cropped my siggy our though...) I told them that I didn’t want it credited and preferred it to be taken down. \n\nThe told me they already had T-shirts, people recognized it for her GoFundMe. I honestly didn’t care. Then they started guilt tripping me about it, and I told them I would go through other means to get it taken down. \n\nThen the girl posts screenshots of our DMs on her twitter, directing people at me, and telling them how heartless I am. I am getting tons of hate messages, and people telling me to just “let her use my shorty artwork.” I can’t even open up any social media without fear of getting shitty messages from my classmates.\n\nI talked to my mom about it and she thinks I should have just kept quiet about it as it’s hard not to look like an asshole for refusing to let her use the image. I’m feeling pretty confused, because I think I have the right to say where my artwork goes. AITA for not letting her use my art? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nSend DMCA takedown notice to GoFundMe to remove the artwork, since they refused to do it (more info at  [https:\/\/www.gofundme.com\/terms](https:\/\/www.gofundme.com\/terms) section Copyright Complaints). ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nRED FLAGS. Red flags EVERYWHERE.\n\nYou made a commitment to that dog, to take care of her for her entire life. You shouldn't get rid of her, and your GF shouldn't expect you to. Also, the way your GF behaves towards your dog is a huge red flag. Allergic or not, how a person treats a dog is a big clue to how they will treat children in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and  this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nProbably classic 'girls should do the chores, not boys' situation. Clean only after yourself and be super duper lazy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend's sister has opened an online store selling creams, misc hair products\/ jewelry, and prints. I was pretty suspicious of what she is selling as she has a habit of putting the cart before the horse when trying to start up these little businesses of hers (she has a history of creating and abandoning small business ideas). She let me know she orders the cream from a supplier and resells it but claimed to make everything else herself. I've never known her to draw or anything artistic  so I looked into the prints and.. She is simply taking them from another artist online and rebranding it with her name before selling it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this who asked her sister but.. She just denied it and insisted its her original work. The artist online I found has been doing this for a while however and her sister only just started selling her goods... Am I the asshole if I alert the artist? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nPlease let the artist know that your girlfriend's sister is stealing other people's work. ######"}
{"prompt":"So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said \"my boyfriend made me do it\" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said \"well i found it hilarious\" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying \"i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky\" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nPeople who rope other people into their kinks without consent are gross. Your friend is gross. Her boyfriend is gross. I  don't know if that counts as a rule 1 violation but...ew at both of them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, but my ex fiancé broke up with me around six months ago. She was supposed to be looking for her own place by now but has been dragging her feet. When we separated, while sharing the house we both rent, we agreed on a roommate situation where we both pay our equal amounts of rent and cost of living expenses up until she moved. When July rolls around, this will be the third month in a row that she fails to pay rent. I have already started getting the utilities in my name, and not only am I paying all of that myself but I’m also paying all the rent too, which led me to tell her that come July 1, she needs to be on her way out and into her own place. She basically called me an asshole because I’m asking her to move out. \n\nAm I really the asshole in this? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nPay up or get out. She's not your responsibility and you've already been far more kind than warranted. She can be mad at you all she wants, tfb. She calls you an asshole, but somehow doesn't realize she's a leech. She's using you and she has absolutely no right to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was \"Surprised anyone would wanna date you\" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back \"Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family.\" Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore\/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nOnly you get to decide how you feel about your dad's impending death and if you've not had a good relationship with him then it's very reasonable to feel relieved on his death. You're under no obligation to feel sad simply because you two are related ######"}
{"prompt":"my ex really wanted me to get a switch so i would play more games with him. I said over and over i didnt want one, i was happy with my ps4 and not super into games anyway. He kept insisting hed buy me one, even got mad at me when I said “absolutely not” to him spontaneously driving to gamestop to buy one when we were both very broke. \nThen animal crossing came out, he insisted that i would like it, he got it and i made a villager on his island. Seemed alright. Then covid happened and i offhandedly remarked that “maybe i should have bought a switch afterall since everyone on earth is playing animal crossing.” But switches were sold out everywhere. I just got the animal crossing app on my phone and called it good. \nWe very briefly discussed that people were selling switches on ebay, to which i said “this is such a scam these are way too much.”\nHe brought it up a few times more, insisting that he *might* buy me one. I said “if you do, do NOT spend more than $300.” \nA few weeks later he surprised me with a switch, i was grateful, and told him i hoped he didnt spend too much. I assumed it was a gift. Later that night he starts dropping hints that i now owed him for it. Hed paid $400.\nI have been very clear how i feel about these “hostage” gift scenarios- i am very against being surprise forced into a financial obligation. I wasnt super surprised though as my ex was always insanely frugal and rarely (if ever) paid for ANYTHING without expecting me to pay for something in return. (When i paid for things, which was about 70% of the time, he was cool accepting it, though). \nAs to not start an argument, i reminded him that i was pretty broke at the moment, as id just spent a ton of money (on his birthday) but maybe when i had money i could chip in. \nAnyway, we broke up about a month later and he immediately insisted i pay him for the switch, and for every drink he ever paid for, and for gas ect because he lived far and had to drive to see me. \nI told him to eat a dick. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nOh, shit.\n\nIs that how gifting things works?\n\nI owe Santa SO MUCH.\n\nSend help OP ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year around October.\n\nI was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said \"hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays.\"\n\nWhen I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors.\n\nLater on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about \"our amazing afternoon on \\[street\\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to.\" Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was.\n\nAnyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time. \n\nWas I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nNo one should have religion shoved in their face like that. And the group shouldn't have outed the people that weren't interested. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me. \n\nWhen his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out. \n\nWhy? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times. \n\n\"It's inconvenient\". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!\n\nI refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive! \n\nI'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!\n\nSo AITA for \"not caring about them and their feelings and needs\" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nLaugh in the faces of people who try to guilt trip you. Someone else will drive. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with \"fuck off\"\n\nAnyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John. \n\nOn the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.\n\nThey stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.\n\nI don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like \"I'm out guys, anyone coming with?\" \n\nBut it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.\n\nAITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nJohn didn't take no for an answer. That's creepy and unacceptable.\n\nLeaving to talk with your friends without him is perfectly acceptable.\n\nIf some of your friends don't like that (notably it sounds like they're only guys), then you've learned something about them too.\n\nA suggestion for the future if you're willing to put in the effort: if something like this happens in the future, organize your other friends who are also creeped out to approach and talk to the friends who aren't. Explain the situation, and that you won't be participating in future gatherings (Zoom, in person, whatever) if a creeper will be there. Then move on and do things without the creeper, and invite your other friends. Who comes and don't will tell you something about them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy\n\nThey then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.\n\nSo please tell me Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nJesus Christ, get some new friends. Pestering you to pay them, even when you don’t owe them anything, is just straight up manipulative. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: I worked a 60hour work week job last year for like 4 months so I could buy some nice stuff (I’m 20) I bought all the parts for a fancy ass gaming PC, I’m talking RTX 2070, Liquid Cooling, you get it. Well I donated half of the parts from my last PC to my brother so he could build his own, that I built for him. The parts were like $300 in value including a monitor and whatever. Well recently he broke said monitor some how so now he feels the need to use my PC, it started with doing his online classes, because those are essential, so I get it. But now he wants to link his steam account and play fallout, on my PC that I slaved away for. I let him keep my Xbox one, I let him use my switch, I payed for both. But now for some reason he feels entitled to use my PC to play video games on instead of buying a $60 monitor for his working PC because he spent all his money on weed and AR-15 parts. I wasn’t having it so I called him out on it, because it seems very out of hand. He proceeded to blow up on me calling me selfish, and then told our mom and now they’re both shunning me because I won’t let him play Fallout 4 on my PC, which he also has for the Xbox. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt’s your PC, he isn’t entitled to its use. Why does he even he to use it if he has the same game on Xbox?\n\nIf the Xbox and Switch are yours, please take them from him if he is going to be this entitled about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for eventual errors: English is not my first language.\n\nI (16F) live with my parents and my older sister (20F). I'm an average looking person: I'm tall 160cm, and my weight is 52 Kg (so, pretty normal: I'm not overweight -important to the story-), I have dark and curly hair, I mostly wear band shirts or movie shirts, and don't really wear makeup, except for eyeliner, and black lipstick sometimes.\n\nAnyway, for the past 5 years, my mother always criticized everything I did with my appearance: she thinks my curly hair is ugly (... it's just my natural hair, and I love it), she thinks I don't wear enough makeup, she thinks I should dress more ladylike (hey, my Rammstein T-Shirt is as ladylike as I want it to be), etc...\n\nThe fact is, the thing she has criticized the most, is my weight. She always tells me how I should improve myself by, well, being the exact opposite of who I am, but she also wants me to exercise, so I can lose weight, because she thinks I'm too fat and that no one will like me if I keep being like this (my boyfriend strongly disagrees however). \n\nBut I DON'T WANT to lose weight, or modify my appearance in any way. It took years to me to love me as who I am. I love my hair, I love my face, I love my body and I love my weight (I actually gained more confidence in my appearance after gaining a little more weight, since I was 12).\n\nI tried to talk to her about this many, many times, telling her I like myself as who I am, and I don't want to change, but everytime she just gets angry at me, saying that I am lazy and I just don't want to exercise, and that I should try and improve myself as any girl at my age. This has been going on for 4 years.\n\nSo AITA for not improving myself? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt’s one thing for your mother to be concerned if you just lay around the house without participating in any physical activity whatsoever, but if she’s focused specifically on your weight for no other reason than for the sake of your appearance, she can go kick rocks. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(17M) brother(23M) is dating a girl(24F) for over a year. His girlfriend is just a really giving person and she came over our house today and she ordered food for her and my brother but she also offered to get food for my sister(19F) and I(17M) well we both took her up on that offer. My brother didn't seem to mind for the most part but now I'm getting text from him telling me that I should have said no to her buying me. He said she was just trying to be crudious and I wasnt suppose to say yes. AITA?\n\n\n\n\nI should also add. I'm Frist generation Korean American. And she is white but she low key has yellow fever so she knows about Korean culture. If you didnt know in Korean culture it's just kind of a thing to show affection for people with food or to buy food for younger people you are close to. Like if I was going out to eat with a friend and his younger sibling I would pay because I'm thr oldest in my friend group and his sibling is obviously younger then me. It's just a thing. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt’s not being courteous to offer something you don’t actually intend to give. If she didn’t want to buy you food, she shouldn’t have offered.   Unless you’re leaving some critical detail out, like you saw them ordering and were standing around hinting that you wanted some takeout too, you’re in the clear here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband and I have four kids. The one in question is our 16 year old daughter. I'd like to think my husband and I are quite progressive parents so we let her live her own life. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and they've been going at it for 8 months (I think). He's okay but crosses too many boundaries. \n\nAgainst our requests he has a tendency of coming to the house unannounced, 'losing track of time' and asking us to give him a ride home at at 11 pm. When we talk to him about this he mutters something under his breath and goes off. When he was staying with us shortly before the whole 'rona mess, he was way too touchy with our daughter in our presence. This went from spanking her whenever she was bending over\/leaning on something and openly snogging each other. We also suspect he stole my husband's cologne but that's just a suspicion. \n\nYesterday my husband and I were doing heavy cleaning around the house (it's been months) and I found a stain on one of the sides of a cushion. I thought it was nothing at first but my husband confirmed it was a cum stain. After a some investigating we crossed out everyone but my daughter. When we spoke to her she admitted that they had sex on the couch. The couch in the living room that all of us use. So we told her straight that he's not allowed in the house again.\n\nShe says we're overreacting but we're done. Are we the assholes in this case? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt’s a house that is shared amongst members of the family. That’s inappropriate. If they want to do anything, take it to the bedroom. \n\nAnother concern is that they might not be practicing safe sex. Your daughter is still very young and finding a cum stain on a couch is unsettling to say the least.\n\nI think the measures you’ve taken is understandable and reasonable. If I were in your shoes, id suggest it too. It might be hard for her to see the bigger picture but I hope she’s able to understand it eventually. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 8 months ago, he has it fairly bad I think he can’t eat anything with lactose in it without having to leave in the bathroom for like 2 days afterward.\n\nMy mum has bought lactose free and vegan food to accommodate him while trying to not majorly change his diet. One sore spot for him is ice cream, he has vegan friendly ice cream in our freezer but claims it doesn’t taste the same. I’ve got no clue, I don’t eat it because I don’t want to limit the amount of food he can eat in the house.\n\nSo because of the recent hot weather where I live mums been getting more ice cream when she does the shopping. She buys a tub for each of us so there isn’t an issue with sharing ( she’s always done this I think it comes from being 1 of 8 kids growing up and sharing being difficult). \n\nIt was the afternoon and the temperature was at its peak so without really thinking about it I went and got my ice cream out and was sat on the sofa eating it, my brother comes down sees me and almost immediately starts shouting while demanding to know what I’m eating. I told him it was cookie dough ice cream and he wanted to know if it was suitable for him, I responded no because it wasn’t and he had a tube of chocolate in the freezer that he could eat.\n\nHe started shouting about how he is always left out and disrespected for being different, that he’s always bought shit ice cream and that if he has to make do with vegan ice cream everyone else should too, he then stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could. \n\nMum and dad have opted to ignore it, they’re putting it down to a stress reaction, he’s asked me to apologise to him because he feels I was inconsiderate of his issues. I don’t think I need to apologise, he’s been offered pills that could help him eat lactose foods but refused them and he has got food options. Why do I have to change my diet for him or my eating habits for him?\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt’s a bummer situation for him, but he’s been given options and opted out.\n\nEnjoy your damn ice cream. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (28F) got engaged to a lovely bloke (38M) at Christmas, and I am super excited about it. We are getting married next year and I decided I ask my long term friends if they’d be a part of our special day, as my bridesmaids.\n\nMy sister and I have a mixed relationship, I personally feel I am the one who makes all the effort to maintain contact, and she only responds or messages me when she wants something. For example, I get her (and my niece) birthday and Christmas gifts and she conveniently forgets to even send me a card every time. We live in different cities and she has a child \/ is a single mum now so I get that it’s different now but how hard is it to respond to a text message? \n\nI decided I didn’t want her to be a bridesmaid, she isn’t there for me and I can’t rely on her. A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, she FaceTimes me. We have a nice catch up and I find out she’s had a lot of stuff going on since December, which is why I haven’t heard from her. She then asks me why I haven’t asked her to be a bridesmaid, to which I respond that she isn’t one. \n\nShe begins to cry and says things such as “but I’m your sister” etc etc. She was also upset that I hadn’t invited her to come wedding dress shopping. Now I really hate upsetting people but I feel I’m being more than fair considering she hasn’t bothered to ask me a single question about my wedding plans since she found out I was engaged.\n\nI don’t think I’m being an a-hole here, my friends, partner and my mum all agree with me, but she’s stopped responding to my messages again, so clearly she thinks I’m in the wrong. Everyone always sticks up for her and makes excuses, so I am glad that on this occasion people are on my side, but I don’t want her to use this an excuse to not bother coming to the wedding. I don’t hate her, I just don’t think she’s bridesmaid material. AITA?! ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt's your wedding and if you don't think your sister will contribute or is able to be relied on, don't lose sleep over it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.\n\nThe entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit. \n\nHe’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1\/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home) \n\nI was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes. \n\nI know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt's your tip money and also money that will likely be needed for your son not his cigarettes. His behavior is incredibly entitled! \n\nMy ex used to do this all the time too refuse to work and expect me to pick up his habit it was awful. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, as Disney Plus was coming to my country, I managed to convince my parents to get an account, only if it was through ma pocket money. So, I decided, eh. fuck it, imma get it. So, it was all sunshine and rainbows for a while until my dad asked for the password to give to one of his friends. I was reluctant at first but my dad managed to convince me to give the password. But, I realized that it was a bad idea to give the password in the first place and went to the account settings and logged all devices out except for mine, and I have not told my parents yet about the log out. So, by taking the account off of the friend, Am I the Asshole ?\n\n(also some might think im a dumbfuck for giving the password in the first place but my dad is a very persuasive person) ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt's your money. So you should be able to decide who gets to use it. If your parents were paying for it I would say differently. ######"}
{"prompt":"I always had a bit of a weird family, especially my father side. Lots of mental health issues, too.\n\nMy dad died almost 3 years ago. It was cancer, so prolonged hospital stays - people had plenty of time to visit him in hospital in the last months of his life. \n\nObviously, when I knew the end was coming, I contacted his closest relatives. Most did not come.\n\nMy Aunt showed up in hospital for literally 10 minutes, said she's switching meds and \"can't mentally handle it\" and that was the last time I saw her.  My Uncle said he'd come, through a proxy, but was a no-show. Apparently he \"did not want to see his big brother like that\".\n\nNow, I was never super close to that side of the family, but this ticked me off. I also suffer from depression and anxiety - yet, somehow, I had to bury my dad. Such is life.\n\nI have not really reached out to them since. And really, they have not done do either. There was talk of doing a \"celebration of my father's life\" somewhere in a park, but it never materialized.\n\nRecently I heard from another relative that my Aunt's husband has cancer. Terminal,  so the're kind of trying to make the most of the last  months\/years.\n\nYet even hearing this I feel no desire to reach out to her. I feel...nothing. I don't feel like I need to support her while I've had zero support from her.\n\nI've even been thinking of cutting legal ties as much as possible.\n\nAITA if I just cut most of my dads family out because I feel like they cared zero shits about my dad and me and I don't feel I need them in my life? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt's your life and you don't have to be there for people who weren't there for you if you don't want to. ######"}
{"prompt":"So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt's one thing to use this account and not realise what she's doing but you'd explained to her not to use it. And she disrespected your wishes. She obviously knows you're passionate about the game because you must play alot around her. I take the video game part out of the equation when deciding because it doesn't matter how trivial it is to other people it means something to you.\n\nIn saying that, if you really cared you would of taken some precautions to stop it happening. That's on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  \/ worked part time at a restaurant in the evening \/ finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact. \n\nSince all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight \/ gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt sounds like an already existing problem that was just magnified under this situation. ######"}
{"prompt":" ***Happened in October and recently came up in conversation***\n\nI made a reservation at a nice restaurant for my anniversary. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. but the hostess said they were running a little behind. After 20 minutes of waiting, a couple walked in behind us and asked for a table. They didn’t have reservations and the hostess said they were looking at a 45-minute wait. The couple stood behind us discussing options, then five minutes later the hostess said our table was ready. The woman pointed out that she was seven months pregnant and would really appreciate if she could sit before us. I said no because we had a reservation and they did not, then suggested two places across the street that always have seats available. The couple was visibly annoyed and said something under their breath about how rude I was.\n\nHad they made a reservation I would have gladly switched so they could sit a few minutes early, but they were basically asking for our reservation. We were looking at having to wait another 45 minutes.\n\nThere were multiple restaurants in the area so there were options. There was also bar seating available and they could have gotten food there. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIt is ridiculous that she would expect you to give up your reservation because she, a stranger, decided to have a kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey all, \nRead a post on here that made me think about something that happened a few months ago.\nIn August of last year, I adopted an 8 year old cat. She was surrendered with a dog by her previous family that June because of an owner illness. According to the volunteer, the family came back for the dog two weeks later but left her behind. I fell in love with her and brought her home that day. I spoil this sweet pur machine to bits. I absolutely adore her and the fact that she always needs to be near me makes me think the feeling is mutual. She is my first cat. \n\nOver Christmas, the volunteer called me to check in to see how things were going-and to let me know the family had come back and requested for her to be returned. I gave an honest update and declined to return her because I felt if the family really wanted her that badly, and loved her that much after 8 years, they wouldn't have left her in the ACC for potentially 6 months. The volunteer didn't push and just said okay. \nAfter reading that post about the person who is refusing to give their pet to the original owner, I am wondering if I was the one in the wrong. I have 0 intention of bringing her back to the ACC, but I am curious if I was a jerk for keeping her. \n\nTL;DR: got a cat in august, family wanted her back by December. I said nah. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIn the post you were referencing, the person didn't get their dog from a shelter. That dog wasn't surrendered, it escaped after a fire and it's owners still loved and wanted it back very dearly.\n\nIn your situation: They already made the choice to get rid of their cat. ######"}
{"prompt":"my(18f) girlfriend(19f) is bisexual and i have always known this. however it did not bother me until she admitted that she was curious what having sex with a man would be like. we’ve talked about wanting a future together and i’m her first relationship so it bothers me because i know it’s something i could never give her. i also don’t particularly like the thought of her sucking a dick, which she jokes about. today she said over the phone that she liked dick, balls, and male pectorals, and i immediately hung up. we’re not talking right now.  AITA for legitimately feeling bad? i’m not angry at her it just makes me feel so shitty since i know if we stay together it’s something she’ll never try even though she’s curious ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIn relationships where both parties are mature, one doesn't openly verbalize a desire for fantasies that their partner is unable to fulfill. Doing so intentionally is asshole behavior.  \n\nThe problem here, though, is that I think your partner's behavior is not exactly intentional\/unintentional. I think that she's just accessing a different part of your relationship. What I mean is that you are both girlfriends, and friends. When she describes her fantasies, desires, and daydreams, she's talking to you like a friend (that is, someone who has no stake in what she sucks on or puts in her mouth). She's not aware, or not respecting, that you are entering that conversation as her girlfriend.  \n\nShe wants to talk about it with someone, that someone just isn't you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll do my best to keep this brief. \n\nEarlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not. \n\nAfter some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago. \n\nBroke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong. \n\nThere’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIn any way, shape or form. Your father seems to have issues with being called out for his flaws and thats a him problem. Not yours.\n\nI would probably tell him why you've chosen to ignore him though. ######"}
{"prompt":"So if the name didn’t give enough explanation, here is some back story. My brother is slightly special needs. Nothing major. He mainly acts younger than his age. There may be some mental stuff there but my parents never told me about any. \n\nAnyways, my brother loves fire alarms. He plays with them like toys, constantly plays with the ones in the house, buys some for play use etc. These are completely real fire alarms mind you. My parents are completely okay with this and buy him more and more constantly. He has over 50 now. \n\nI personally hate this. I am the only other sibling and having to hear alarms constantly (any time of the day. Morning, night, etc. if I had a dime for every time I’ve woken up at 5am because of it, I’d be rich) is not only incredibly annoying but dangerous as well. My family has become desensitized to fire alarms since they always assume it’s him now. \n\nPretty regularly I get angry about this whole thing and try talking to my mom about it. She usually ignores me or gets angry saying how I don’t have a right to dislike his interest\/think they should get rid of them. They say I’m incredibly rude for thinking it needs to stop since it’s what he likes. Because of his special needs, I’m wondering if I am rude to think he should stop what he likes. However, I feel like my feelings are completely justified. What do you all think? Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nif your parents don't give a damn about you and only about your brother - point out that right now, *they're training him to think fire alarms are fun playtime*. and they're training him and everyone around him *to ignore the sound of a fire alarm.*\n\nso what's going to happen when there's a real fire?\n\nhe'll stay in the house because it's time to play. and everyone else will think it's another annoyance. and then everyone will be crispy critters.\n\nmaybe throw in a jab to her about if that's the *intended* effect since this is her strategy for long-term care of him - a big ol' cremation for brother dearest - and she'll actually listen. (well. okay. don't actually do that part. but dream a little assholeish dream in your heart.) ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner injured themselves last December and has Piriformis Syndrome. It's where a muscle becomes inflamed and pinches the sciatic nerve. It causes shooting pains down the leg. They refused to go to the doctor for months and after diagnosis refused to take any medication to help them heal. They prefer to heal naturally over time by stretching and massaging the injury. It bothers me that they aren't accepting treatment but it's their body and I have to respect their wishes. My partner is the love of my life and it is extremely hard for me to watch them be in pain.\nI have noticed that when we visit their parents, their pain seems to triple, they making pained grunting noises, walk doubled over and basically act like they are on their death bed. Of course their parents become very concerned and fondle over them to help them feel better. I don't doubt that they are really injured but they are definitely exaggerating for some attention. It weirds me out but I havent said anything about it.\nNow they do occasionally try to do this to me. For example, earlier today they were taking out the trash and began to make their little grunting noises. I ignored them. They began to get even more dramatic  and louder. I continued to ignore them until they finally asked me to help them take out the trash. I said of course I will help you and all you have to do is ask.\nI simply refuse to baby my partner. I feel like if they need something then they can ask me like an adult. They are not a toddler with a limited vocabulary. They have to grow up and figure out that they have to use their words and communicate properly. I do feel like I might be a little harsh by ignoring them. Does this make me an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf you need help, ask for it. If you don't feel like you can ask for help from someone you're in a relationship with then that's a whole different kettle of fish.\n\nIt sounds like attention-seeking behaviour. I've no doubt that it's genuinely painful (sounds shitty for you both) but the fact that they change their behaviour around their parents etc. makes me wonder if they just want some sympathy and attention.\n\nI've very little patience for stuff like that, so I feel you and don't think you're being harsh. Might be worth just having a chat with them to reiterate the fact you'll gladly help out but they have to ask :) ######"}
{"prompt":"So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company). \n\nMy almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them. \n\nI listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it.\n\nThis was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf what you're saying is true they probably don't want to acknowledge what you said for potential legal reasons. Don't worry about it. \n\nGood luck with your new job! ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway daughter has Reddit\n\nI have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.\n\nMy daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so  for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf she wanted a switch, she should have asked for it.\n\nI would tell your daughter that her 650 dollar art supplies were not a family gift, and no childs birthday present should be a family gift.\n\nTell your ex wife to pound sand and get her the switch herself. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nWe normally get along but we are having a dumb fight about this and I'm having a hard time communicating to him why it annoys me when he asks me these kinds of questions. I made dinner last night and when it came time to clean up, I asked him to put away the chicken. He asked what do I want him to put the chicken in and I snapped at him saying 'can you please just figure it out?'. This was in an irritated tone - not a regular question (so this is where I'm probably TA).\n\nEvery time I make a meal, he asks me questions about 'what he should do'. I don't want to think about this. If the kitchen needs cleaning, pick something and clean it up. I don't want to tell him to clean something up and then also have to tell him how. He is a smart, capable person who makes good decisions. I trust him with whatever cleaning decision he makes! Moreover, I really don't care how something gets cleaned up - I just want it cleaned up! And this weird dynamic where he wants input from me about how to clean up is sort of new. He knows how to cook and I moved into his house so it's not like it's my kitchen that I am particular about it.\n\nI know the adult thing would probably be to just answer the question instead of snapping but I was particularly exhausted yesterday. In my job, I answer difficult questions non-stop all day and I was having an extra bad day at work yesterday. At the end of the day, I have no more mental energy for how to clean up the kitchen!\n\nBut maybe I'm making something out of nothing? He seems to think so and, in fact, is still mad at me for it. I just want to be able to hand off part of the work to him and not have to think about it!\n\nSo what say you Reddit - AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf men can handle complex and difficult careers outside the home, they have no excuse for not being able to do basic household tasks too. It's feigned ignorance. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our first child is 7 months old next week and I've had an issue with how my husband speaks to her. She'll do something like getting stuck and pick he'll her up and say \"oh you're just a stupid baby.\" Or when she's crying say, \" stop there's nothing wrong. You're fine.\" Sometimes he has unreasonable expectations like getting frustrated that she wasn't crawling already (she is now crawling at 6 months!)and I tell him to stop putting unreasonable expectations on her.  While I know that she doesn't understand a lot of what we say...it just doesn't feel right and I tell him to stop. He gets this face like I'm being unreasonable\/ nitpicking him but I don't want my daughter's feelings to be invalidated. I don't want her growing up and her ever thinking that she's stupid. I keep telling him that what we say to her now will be her inner voice when she's older. \n\nMy biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant was having a girl. I was afraid of the task to raise a girl who felt confident and empowered, who loved her body. I struggled a lot myself with these issues and I don't want the same for her. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for vocally stepping in? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf he's starting like this it'll only continue and escalate. Maybe he thinks this is on par with saying things like, \"silly baby,\" and, \"oh no need to cry, don't worry, it's okay.\" \n\nBut his language is too harsh and even if he doesn't mean badly soon enough she will understand and be hurt.\n\nEven at this age she is a sponge, she understands to a significant degree his tone and attitude, and is forming an understanding and opinion of him and its not gonna be good or healthy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll cut to the chase. My boyfriend recently found out he’ll be getting laid off in a month due to his company being acquired by another.\n\nHe’s been horribly down and depressed the past few weeks as a result. Last night while on the phone with him, he was sounding very, very depressed. The conversation went as follows:\n\nMe: “What’s wrong handsome? Are you doing alright tonight?”\n\nHim: “No, are you fucking stupid? Do you not pay attention to anything I say?”\n\nMe: “I’m not stupid.”\n\nHim: “Well the things you say are fucking stupid, so I’m calling you fucking stupid.”\n\nI then paused and said: “I was asking you what’s wrong, not giving you permission to call me ‘fucking stupid’ and insult my intelligence.”\n\nHim: “K then talk to you later.”\n\nMe: “So rude.” *click*\n\nI then sent him a text message as follows: “Sorry, I don’t deserve to be called “fucking stupid”, no matter how you’re feeling.\n\nTalk to me when you apologize for lashing out.\n\nBye.”\n\nHe texted me this morning saying how insensitive I am and how dare I request an apology from him during these times. I simply haven’t budged or responded. I feel I deserve a little dignity and respect?\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nIf he was frustrated by being asked the question there are more adult ways to handle it than lashing out with insults.\n\nThe fact that it’s a stressful time does often mean people are more likely to snap; but that isn’t an excuse to not apologize and try to do better. He’s basically saying if times are tough it’s okay for him to act like an asshole, and you just have to take it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.\n\nBio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order. \n\nAita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI've never understood these kinds of people who go around with different men expecting nothing to ever happen to them, and then when it does blatantly lie about it. You deserve the truth, nothing less of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a straight dude and I have two gay roommates. I, obviously, agreed to live with them and have no issues with them being gay at all. Although they’re way more comfortable in the bathroom together than I am. In fact I’m not comfortable being in the bathroom with them ever, but they don’t have an issue with it. For example, if one of them is brushing their teeth they don’t have any issue with the other coming to pee in the toilet right next to them. If they’re having a conversation and one of them needs to poop, one will go on the toilet and the other will go in the bathtub and they’ll keep talking. That doesn’t affect me, so I don’t care. \n\nHowever, they always poop with the door open. It’s disgusting. I’ve frequently walked out of my room and just smelt poop, then I look at the bathroom and I see them sitting on the toilet. They often leave the door open to continue their conversation. I’ve told them it’s gross, and they stop for a day, but then do it the next day. \n\nOther times I’m half asleep and I walk to the bathroom and look at the toilet just to see a half naked man on it.\n\nToday I was sitting on the couch and my roommate opened the door to the bathroom mid poop to ask my other roommate a question. I yelled at him to close the door and he snapped back “I’m not talking to you shut up”. Am I the asshole for wanting the door closed when they poop? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI've been married for 7 years.\n\nI still don't let my husband in the bathroom while I'm going and probably never will. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm in an LDR and my gf has been lonely and uncomfortable in her cramped studio apt during COVID lockdown. This woman she goes to grad school with knew that and gave her the key to her place while she's out of town for the summer, but they're not really friends, more like colleagues, and she assumed my gf was only going to stop in from time to time to get some work done in a quiet place. She even asked for a little money to go towards rent, and my gf paid her fifty bucks. \n\nLittle does she know, my gf has been sleeping there every night. The place is bigger and nicer than my gf's and she feels safer there because the neighbors don't scream at each other all night. When she first starting going there I thought she was staying at a *friend's* place, but recently she revealed the true situation to me on the phone and then confessed that she also read this woman's diary, which was just sitting right there on her desk. I was shocked; I said it was an invasion of privacy and asked my gf how she would've felt if someone she trusted with her apt key read her diary. She said she wouldn't have cared. \n\nShe called me an asshole for judging her, and she later justified the diary thing by saying that she's been so lonely she just needed to see if someone else felt that way. She said I should've taken her side and empathized with her instead of being cold and judgmental, and she's still pissed about it. But I stand by my judgment! Is reading someone's diary just not as bad as I think it is? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI'm willing to bet that someone who gets annoyed at being called out on their bullshit would definitely have been upset to have their privacy invaded... ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a non identical twin brother named Justin. I'm under no illusion that he's the better looking between us. He's a great guy if not a bit philandering.\n\nSince we were bored yesterday, we video called my friend Jay and his wife and we just caught up with each other over a couple glasses of wine. We eventually got to playing this game where someone asks a question and we all answer. I asked everyone who their cheat pass (someone you would cheat with if allowed) is and everyone gave celebrities crushes as expected, except my loving wife. She first asked about specifics. Whether it was just a one time thing, the whole night or a fling. We all agreed on whole night and then she blurted \"Then Justin! Omg we'd fuck all night long\". We all broke into laughter because we thought she was talking about Justin Bieber. \n\nJay then made a comment about Timberlake being better than Bieber and my wife clarified that she actually meant my brother. Like wtf? Obviously things got awkward so they ended the call and we got into a fight over it. She said I shouldn't be angry because I was the one who asked her and now I'm judging her truthful answer. I spent the night in the guest room and even this morning she was completely unapologetic and said I should be the one apologizing for being an ass last night and \"judging her truth\". Aita? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI'm a person who usually believes that if you aren't going to like the answer then don't ask the question but not for this situation.  Usually when someone mentions a \"cheat pass\" they're generally talking about celebrities- *not their spouse's siblings*. Plus it was uncool of her to also say that they'd \"fuck all night long\". That just seems like she has thought about it definetly more than once.\n\nIf my boyfriend said that about my sister I'd be highly upset and frankly a little insecure. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm literally in tears typing this because I don't know what I've done wrong.\n\nHere's some background: \nI'm a second year university student, I've come home because my university shut down because of what's going on. Ever since I came home, I've literally been helping my mom in every way she asks me to.\nI sweep the floor, then I clean it with a wet cloth (we have 2 mops at home, and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean to get soem exercise???), I do the dishes and them put them out to dry and bring the dried ones back in, I cut vegetables for my mom to cook, I water the plants (there's a whole lot of them too). I do all of this and then attend my online classes and study. My father does the laundry and hangs up the clothes and does the dishes as well, and then does his office work. My mother cooks and washes the dishes she's used to cook. That's the only thing she does. Then she screams at me, if I slip up with even one thing saying she has to do everything in this house and that I don't do anything.\n\nThe actual incident: \nToday, at 9 am, I told my mom that I have an online class at 10 am. She stared at me and asked me when I'll do all of my chores since I had just woken up. She yelled at me asking why I didn't tell her that my class is at 10 (I've told her twice last week, and showed her my timetable as well). Then she screamed at me saying I'm inconsiderate and that I treat her like shit. I couldn't tell her that my class was just an hour long, I'd do all the chores right after my class because she was too busy screaming at me. Am I being ungrateful? Am I being inconsiderate? I've been doing all the chores everyday without a single break since over 2 weeks man. AITA for telling her this? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI wish I had advice for you, but it doesn't seem like your mom is a reasonable person.\n\n>and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean\n\nYour mom sounds like a miserable person.\n\nPlease don't blame yourself. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and her girlfriend, 19F and 20F, have been together for 8months.\n\nMy daughters girlfriend recently kicked her out, I haven't been told why but I'm sure they'd tell me if they wanted me to know.\n\nI said that she could stay and to let me know before she got here so we could all talk.\n\nWhen I got home she had arrived and they had unpacked in my daughters room.\n\nI waited until dinner time and spoke to them together and said while I appreciated that they loved each other under my roof she will sleep in the guest room, if she is staying for a while we can decorate it a little (it's pretty basic, sofa bed, television and a book case) \n\nShe understood and moved rooms, said shes just thankful for staying here.\n\nMy exwife and daughter are very upset with me because I'm treating her like a guest instead of family, my partner is on my  side.\n\nNeither  of them pay rent or work.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI was kicked out before as a teenager, and my ex's family let me stay with them. They asked that I just slept in the guest room, and I was appreciative to have a bed to sleep on. I could've slept in my ex's bed but I respected his parents and slept in the guest bed, they would make dinner for me and even encouraged me to continue going to college.\n\nEveryone here saying why do you care or they are adults, and that's correct that they are adults. They are adults who can make their own decisions in life, and can chose to abide by sleeping arrangements or leave.\n\nThis does not mean they are being separated from each all the time, and by the sounds of it OPs daughters gf doesn't seem to mind it. Plus the benefits of having her own room is great, especially if shes a student and needs to study, her own room to unwind would be heavenly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 6 years now and we’ve been talking about the future and marriage but have a few hang ups that we’ve been trying to work through. One of the things that is a major source of tension between us is that he goes on a “mancation” with his dad, dad’s friend, and dad’s friend’s son each year. I have no problem with the vacation itself but he’s expressed that when we have children, as we are both 24 it’s something that’s not too far off, he wants to continue the mancation tradition with our potential son. This is frustrating to me for a few reasons, 1. He has a sister and it’s VERY clear that her relationship with their dad isn’t nearly as close as my boyfriend’s. I think it hurts her that my boyfriend is clearly their dad’s favorite. 2. On Mancation they typically go camping or jeeping and I know that for me even though I am interested in more “girly” activities, I also enjoy doing these kinds of things and excluding a daughter because of her gender seems silly and a bit sexist to me. 3. My family growing up always went on family vacations together. To me the idea of spending a two week long vacation separate from each other just seems a bit weird. I know that this is sort of a silly argument because a lot of it depends on what if’s but it has been causing a big rift in our relationship and my boyfriend thinks I’m being controlling and isn’t sure about our future if this is going to bother me. I know that with our families being so different that I could be biased so I was hoping for the opinion of internet strangers. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI was fine until you said the 'Mancation' was TWO WEEKS!'\n\nFor most family's in the US, all they get is a two week vacation once a year, if your lucky.  I was thinking a long weekend or something with the guys, but 2 weeks is definitely unreasonable to be away from your family constantly. \n\nI have had a 'friendscation' with my girlfriend before without my husband, but it was only 4 days, and it's not every year. My husband and I are a family, we prioritize time with each other over time with others.\n\nI would talk to him about it nicley. They don't have to get rid of the Mancation, but when you both have a family of your own, it needs to be toned down. He can't disappear with your potential son for 2 weeks every year. A long weekend camping trip wouldn't be unreasonable though. I would also mention that you want to know what he would do to make any daughter you guys may have not feel left out. And what he would do to bond with her? It is truly unfair to take a son out and not treat a daughter to any special time as well.\n\nYou have every right to worried about this. May I ask if you guys get to have a Vacation together every year as well? Or does this cut into your own bonding time? This is definitely something that needs to be figured out sooner rather than later. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months.  This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it.  I asked her if she was \"allergic to stairs,\" which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude.  FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI second your 7 y.o, I find it funny. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom knows I (17f) can’t stand the taste or smell of teriyaki sauce. I have told her this multiple times, because the smell\/taste makes me sick to my stomach. I ask her for a heads up whenever she makes something with teriyaki sauce in it so I can grab something for myself to eat.\n\nI went grocery shopping for my mom today, and when I come back, my mom tells me it’s time for dinner. I go into the kitchen, and the smell hits me. She made beef tips and then covered it in a whole ass layer of teriyaki. I got a bit upset with her and asked her why she didn’t tell me she was making dinner with teriyaki sauce, and she laughs and says that it was just a last minute thing. I told her that maybe she shouldn’t have done that last minute thing, because now I couldn’t go grab something to eat from a restaurant (it was around 7:30, most stores close around 8:00 now, and we live like thirty minutes out from the closest fast food place)\n\nMom called my brothers “Andy” (16m) and David (13m) into the room and told them that I was “being picky” and refusing to eat. They started giving me shit about it, and I told them if they really wanted me to eat it, they could clean up my puke later. \n\nApparently I ruined dinner by being picky about food covered in something that makes me sick, and my mom is acting like a 5 year old who got upset (huffing, sighing, refusing to talk, etc.) and Andy told me I should’ve sucked it up and ate it. To sum it up: i basically ruined the entire night for my family by not eating.\n\nAITA for not eating food covered in teriyaki sauce?\n\nEDIT: because I just realized people might be confused about why I can’t just make something in the kitchen: My mom doesn’t like people cooking after dinner’s been made, or even people being in the kitchen afterwords. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI have the impression that your mom tried to back you into a corner and force you to eat to prove a point. She called your brothers so they could \"gang up on you\" which is wrong. You're allowed to not like certain types of food (for example, I hate anything with peppers, so I tend to stay clear of 'em). \n\nCould you have done your own food at home since everything was closing down by the time you got home? ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a \"violation\" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old \"My house, My rules\" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she \"gives\" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the \"AITA\" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \\~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our \"promise\", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI have a very very small earing disorder because of my parents being so strict about what I eat growing up. I have a problem now, even as an adult, about eating out and hiding it from people.  \n\nIt drives me husband nuts, but I absolutely can't handle comments about my eating habits. I also have an issue with eating too much of the same thing because my parents wanted me to stay thin. So they fed me a very limited diet. Salad, chicken, olives, nuts. No pop allowed, now I'm addicted to Coca Cola. I constantly want different foods. Ugh, i never realized it was a problem until i started seeing a therapist.\n\nSo yeah, your not an asshole, you mom is a control freak though. ######"}
{"prompt":"Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.\n\nI should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's the fact that I'm the only person in our family that (1) has a steady job and (2) has no major expenses. My partner and I lived frugally for a long time to save up an emergency fund. The loan came out of these funds.\n\nThe loan agreement is simple: $10,000 over a maximum duration of five years, paid monthly, and accruing interest rate pegged to my mortgage offset account's interest rate. There is no 'formal' contract per se (though one most likely exists at common law). But there is an understanding that she will pay the loan back as soon as possible.\n\nUnfortunately, collecting money from my cousin has been like drawing blood from a stone. My cousin is a low income earner. Which would be fine - especially because she lives at home and has no major expenses. But she also spends way beyond her means: luxury designer items, exorbitant holidays abroad, etc. Things she has no business purchasing on her income.\n\nTo put it in perspective, my cousin has had more late payments than ones paid on time. To date, she's currently three months in arrears (\\~ $500 AUD). It isn't much, I know. But it's the mere fact that I have to continually chase her up that annoys the hell out of me.\n\nSo when I saw her bragging about a new Burberry coat on her social media, I couldn't help but leave a comment to the effect of: \"You can't afford a Burberry coat. You can't even afford to pay me back for your dog's surgery\".\n\nBy the time my cousin noticed my comment, enough people were talking about it. My cousin called me up infuriated that I would out her dirty laundry. But, honestly, I'm at my wit's end. I just want her to stick to our agreement.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI guess you've learned to never lend money to people again though. Never lend what you wouldn't gift. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I'm 20 F, and I'm living with my parents. \n\nSo this happened today at lunch. We'd all sat down to eat, and there was fish. I hate fish. I hate most non-vegetarian food. Nonetheless, I didn't want to start a fight, so I sat down and ate almost all of it, except for a little bit which I just didn't want to anymore. And trust me, when I say little, it was a tiny little piece. \n\nI got up to wash my hands and rinse my mouth, when my mother called me back and asked me to finish it. Now, I really didn't want to. Firstly, I was already very full, and secondly, I just couldn't eat any more fish. I'd probably throw up. \n\nSo I said no. She kept bullying me. And I kept saying no. \n\nMy mother has a history of doing this. My brother and I could never be picky about anything we ate growing up, because it was a rule to eat everything that was served. I understand not wanting to waste food, but I just can't tolerate eating certain things. \nHer force-feeding has probably led to me overeating at some times and barely eating at others. \n\nSo anyway, back to the story. She pulled me aside and angrily told me that I was embarrassing her in front of our house-help. \n\nAnd I just couldn't believe her. I couldn't bare to ingest something at all anymore and to her, it was only about listening to her so that I didn't embarrass her. \n\nShe called me to a side room and started getting furious about how I always embarrass her and stomp on her dignity.\n\nI stormed out of the room. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI get trying not to waste foods or whatever. But she pick a fight with you, and you fought back. But next time you probably don't need to eat it at all, as in, dont even pick the food. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.\n\nThis was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.\n\nI worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.\n\nAt this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.\n\nBasically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to  do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.\n\nEDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI don't understand why you're with her. She is extremely shallow and rude. She told you that you too won't be having sex until you get abs. She is telling you that she only likes you for your body when you are ripped. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study. \n\nI moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats. \n\nThe \"\"\"problem\"\"\" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.\n\nHe basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger. \n\nDespite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said \"we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent\". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI can't **STAND** entitled people. Your boyfriend thinks he's entitled to a key to *your* house which he doesn't pay to live at; and then he pulls a victim card by saying that he's afraid that you're going to put his life in danger because of it being a dark street.\n\nNo.\n\nHe just wants the power to come in and out of your house as much as he pleases. ######"}
{"prompt":"So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice.\n\nBut our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place.\n\nFor reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nI admit I'm a little biased - I spent one day of lockdown in a fur coat, tiara and a prom dress (which was great.) Fashion is a passion of mine and it's been cheering me up. If you enjoy dressing well, then that's up to you. \n\nEverybody is a little sensitive\/stressed right now so maybe don't go too hard on her, but a firm 'we're both entitled to dress as we like, there's no need for anyone to feel out of place in our living space' should hopefully do the trick. ######"}
{"prompt":"So some quick information is im 15F and I’ve had two very obvious surgical scars on my body my whole life. A feeding tube scar and a open heart surgery scar. If course im thankful i’m alive but I could definitely do without scars. I’m pretty insecure about it and it sucks sometimes I cant wear low cut shirts, some crop tops, or two piece bikinis in the summer because people WILL stare.\n\nFor the past three years I been bringing up the idea of a tattoo on my feeding tube scar when im 18 and every time I bring it up it’s immediately shot down. My dad keeps saying “If you grow up with a tattoo I raised you wrong” and my mom thinks its “trashy” And, the reason I care is because they’ll stop supporting me and will be upset with me if I get a tattoo, piercing, etc. They’ve said they’d kick me out if I did it when im living under their roof and I cannot tell if theyre joking or not. I love my parents but idk why the line is just drawn at body modifications. \n\nMy dad left to work in another state for the next two years until im in college and then my parents are gonna move out of our current house. I was sitting outside enjoying quality time with my mom and it came again to me discussing the idea of a tattoo. I seriously been trying to convince them. The answer is no. Again. But, my mom said she’d actually pay for plastic surgery to get it removed if it would prevent me from getting a tattoo. But, under one condition and that being I have to be 18. I said no, it would have to be when im 16 (legal with parental consent) or else im getting the tattoo at 18 because it’s easier in terms of recovery and of course safer. She was pissed that im being ungrateful. But, whats the point of getting plastic surgery when I can just have a cover up tattoo? \n\nSo, I lost my shit basically yelling “it been three years of me asking? Why won’t you support my decision because im not changing my mind and im getting it when im 18 if not plastic surgery at 16. Its my body.” etc. etc. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHowever, be warned, if you're gonna get a tattoo on scarred tissue it can hurt a bit more than usual and also sometimes the ink doesn't take very well. It'll be a good idea for you to search for a tattoo artist that has experience with surgical scars + it's probably cheaper than plastic surgery. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.\n\nSo my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk. \n\nThe problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried \" Love you too, not now Potato\" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.\n\nI always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.\n\nWhen I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day. \n\nI don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHonestly, I think his behavior makes sense.\n\nThere's nothing more romantic in my eyes than playing the latest computer games while ignoring my girlfriend.\n\nTalking or interacting with her at all, of course, is entirely un-romantic as it distracts from my very romantic video game.\n\nI see his predicament, though. You tend to go to bed around 10:30PM.\n\nHe can only play with his friends between 9-11 because one of them has to work all day.\n\nObviously, you're not taking into account his poor friend whose schedule your lives must all revolve around.\n\nI think the biggest issue here that you're not really being fair about is that if he doesn't play with his friends for a single night he'll die almost immediately.\n\nIf you want him to live then there's absolutely no way he can ever compromise at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before. \n\nSo both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time. \nI do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHonestly what are you supposed to do? Let the kids trash the house since they never get disciplined? I feel like it was good that you warned them that there was going to be a punishment and you followed through with it. Children need to understand that their actions can have consequences. It's not like you spanked them or anything. You gave him a *much needed* time out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Post ahead so get in. \n\nBackstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.\n\nNow i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]\n\nL is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like \"I miss the homies and the drugs\". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit. \n\nI've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say \"Its her life, let her do what she pleases\" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to \"Stay in my lane\"\n\nShe recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs. \n\nEdit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like \"You cant tell me what to do.\" I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.\n\n Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHonestly I would say you are obligated to report this to CPS. Her brain is still developing and heavy drug use has severe effects on it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said \"I love you more than *insert my name here*.\n\nI never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.\n\nabout two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him.  He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying \"there you go being crazy again.\n\nWas I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHere's the thing. It isn't even about the dog at this point.....it's about the fact that he's not considerate of your feelings. Calling you crazy? Bringing his mom in for back-up?\n\nIn my opinion, you were being a little insecure, but there's no reason for him to be an ass about it. He should have just apologized for ignoring you, reiterated his love for you and his dog and then moved on. ######"}
{"prompt":"My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.\n\nLike I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.\n\nI standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should.  Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHell, I lived 2 miles from my parents and I was the youngest (so they were empty nesters).  Wanna know how many times they watched my kids?  ONCE.\n\nWe didn't ask them if it was OK for us to have kids.  Thus, childcare is OUR responsibility.  Period. ######"}
{"prompt":"My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.\n\nFirst quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.\n\nLast quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.\n\nI told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe’s a grown man, he really shouldn’t nag at you cause of a job application when he can, infact look for a job himself ######"}
{"prompt":"This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.\n\nwork ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.\n\nI get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.\n\nNext day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.\n\nHe ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.\n\nI really don't think I did anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe stole money from you while you were doing a favor for him. Yeah it may have been only $3 but he stole from you while you were doing something nice for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.\nI also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.\n\nSo one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.\n\nStill some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe should have no say in who his sister is friends with. \n\nIt was a long time ago and he’s the one who cheated - you did the right thing when you found out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.\n\nJudging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe said some pretty horrible things to you. Take as much time as you need to think it through. There's no reason to rush. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Maybe he does want to sincerely apologize, but that doesn't mean you have to hear him out just yet. Take care of yourself first. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were getting ready to park inside of the private lot when all of a sudden my friend starts throwing up. For some reason he decided to throw up first and then open the door instead of just telling me to stop and him getting out to throw up. I think he threw up because he was drinking heavily before I picked him up and motion sickness may have gotten to him. As soon as I started seeing throw up all over my car door on the inside I told him to get out. He wouldn't get out and I asked him at least over five times. I had a feeling he wasn't going to get out so I decided to park and go to his side of the door so I can start cleaning up the mess. I couldn't fully clean his side of the car because he was still sitting inside so I asked him to get out at least 10 more times. All of a sudden he looks at me and tells me that \"I'm a fucking asshole for talking to someone like that\". He then got out of the car and while I was cleaning my door he tells me that \"I am going to knock you the fuck out and I promise you that you won't get back up\". At that point I walk over to the driver side of the door to get my keys out and other important things in-case shit hits the fan and out of anger he slams his fast on the roof of my car causing it to dent. For privacy reasons I will not say the exact number but I have gotten a quote from 3 separate body shops that are all over 1000$. Due to this high number I have decided to take him to civil court. He and several others of my friends are calling me a asshole and saying that I should have just let it go. Of course I can't just let it go because I am making payments on this car and it is close to a 2020 version so when I go to trade it in later in life it'll really fuck me. So reddit... Am I the asshole or am I right? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe intentionally damaged your property because you asked him NOT TO RUIN HIS ENTIRE SIDE OF THE INTERIOR OF YOUR CAR by getting out. What he did to your car was uncalled for, drunk or not. I mean I would have guessed he'd see the error of his ways when he sobered up, but apparently he has decided to run with it, and that's despicable.\n\nHe's a grown adult allowed to drink, so the has to take grown adult responsibility as well.\n\nAs a good friend he'd realise that he fucked up, caused you LOTS of costs and would at least TRY to work out something with you. You can talk shit out as friends, maybe reach a compromise or something, but he's not having any of it it seems...\n\nTake that \"friend\" to court if he keeps ignoring you.\n\nFriends like that aren't worth keeping anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? \n\nSo first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going\/ what we are doing. \n\nSo anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHe expects you to wear heels because of your height difference.\n\nHe doesn’t want people looking at you together in public.\n\nHe had a tantrum and berated you for not changing into shoes that weren’t appropriate for the venue.\n\nYou’re his wife, not a purse. He’s due for a serious adjustment in his perspective and attitude. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter’s college completely refunded this quarter’s pay. She came back home because they couldn’t keep dorms up. I got a cashier’s check of $14,937 from the college. I was honestly surprised that they refunded it. \n \nWhen I told my family, my daughter complained and said that it was her money. I completely disagreed. I paid for her college, she just worked to save up money and for rent. This 15k was entirely for the family, not just for her. \n \nShe argued that paying for college was a gift, and this was akin to refunding a gift. I again completely disagree. The money was entitled to me, not her. Therefore it’s my money. While I’m not going to use the money solely for myself, I’m going to put it into a savings account for my other kid.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nHad a similar situation as an undergraduate and my parents got the money back. They used it on my tuition the following term. \n\nYou paid for a service she was using. The service refunded YOU not her.\n\nEdit; you say she was paying rent. Is this a rent refund for the dorms as well or just tuition? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm from a traditional Indian family in England, my parents compare me to \\*everyone\\*, from my sister to the neighbour's kid etc. My sister is 5 years older than me \\[26F\\] and has been working for 2 years after graduating from a fairly prestigious university but earns the usual 2 years into your career wage (£35k, $43k). \n\nMy parents always pitted me against my sister and that really fucked with our relationship, this means that my sister is insecure about her wage and is trying her best (we both have mental health issues from my parents' abusive parenting, see my post history for more info), she's had a lot to deal with. \n\nThis year I worked really hard and got myself into a hedge fund for a grad job.  This place will pay me over double what my sister earns; I'm not going to act like I'm not happy about this but I know that hurts my sister (she still wants the best for me, but it does hurt and I don't blame her for it). \n\nAnd I know that my parents finding out my wage will make them cocky, show off my wage, and put ridiculous amounts of pressure on my sister. My dad is also insecure about his role as the caregiver to the family since my sister already earns more than he does. \n\nBecause of all this, I'm choosing not to tell my parents (and possibly even my sister (though she can guess how much I earn from the company I work for)) my wage, I'm already moving out so I'm fully independent of them and have no obligation and the way they act (even though I mentioned to them that comparing kids is reprehensible) I think justifies it. However this is really uncommon in our culture, I'm already forcing through my independence by moving out (without their consent) and now to not tell them my wage will really damage my relationship with them. \n\nAITA for putting my parents at arm's length, damaging the relationship further since I'm already forcing through my moveout, by not telling them my salary? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nGood on you for taking the option that's better for your sister's mental health. You have no obligation to tell them anything, and it sounds like you're better off leaving. I hope your sister has left too. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah.\n\nSo yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook. \n\nI have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids?\n\nTL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling.\n\nSo reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out?\n\nAlso I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nGonna be honest, your stepdads reactions seems borderline abusive. However, you should pack away scissors when you’re done with them. But a single, typically harmless mistake doesn’t necessitate that sort of reaction. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons\/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc. \nThings were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it. \nSo one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for. \nSince then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nFun fact about religion, or not having one - some people are only ok with it as long as you fit in theirs completely. If not, then that's when the peer pressure conversion is attempted. That's on them. It's possible to be religious AND impartial.\n\nI feel like your burst was fair, although cold. It's important to make sure this person knows your boundaries, and you theirs. It sounds like you listened to them and respected them, now it's time for the reverse.\n\nIf I were you, moving forward with this friendship, I'd make very clear lines - \"I will do X, you mist respect Y. I will not convert, but I will listen and I will respect as long as you do not ridicule me.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.\n\nSo around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.  \n\nI contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up. \n\nIt took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job) \n\nWhat’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week. \n\nI tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts. \n\nI could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nFuck, what is wrong with your colleague, you were sick you couldn't breathe. \n\nYou were right to go the ER.\n\nEdit: correction of a word ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc. \n\nShe co-owns a successful business w\/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.\n\nFor the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props. \n\nBusiness has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc. \n\nRecently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through. \n\nMy parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate. \n\nShe started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nFrankly, your sister is acting very unprofessional and hurting the business.\n\nI could at least in some capacity understand her using her baby as a \"model\" if they were promoting baby related items (clothes, bedding, furniture, etc), but a baby has no place in product pictures of items that are not baby related. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nFor some advice r\/JustNoMil\n\nYour request is reasonable, you want to look better then your worst when she visits. Make it a thing, that if she doesn't call ahead, she isn't coming in. ######"}
{"prompt":"(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nHello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f\/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.\n\nLast week I was asked by friend A (f\/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.\n\nA came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f\/30) doesn't like Korean food.\n\n\"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?\"\n\nWell you guessed it, now friend C (f\/34) doesn't like sushi.\n\nThis has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.\n\nToday B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.\n\nI snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.\n\nI am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.\n\nSo yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...   \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nFirst, your birthday your rules.\n\nSecondly you're freshly sober, avoiding temptation is a smart move.\n\nIf your friends can't accept or understand that, you can question their motivations and canceling the birthday party for your own health is the right move. ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me. \n\nOn the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said \"oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip\" and so I asked, \"then how did you sleep?\" \n\nHe looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for \"body heat\" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nEven if nothing happened, the two of you *already established that sharing beds was a boundary*. Not only did he willingly, and unnecessarily break that boundary, he lied to you about it. Or at least, tactfully decided not to mention it, so lying by omission. \n\nI’d be so fucking pissed. A small hole in a sleeping bag DOES NOT warrant jumping into a bag with another person. Like you said, especially considering it wasn’t freezing conditions. Put on some damn socks and sleep in your own sleeping bag. \n\nAlso, why tf is he going camping with girls you say yourself he hardly even knows? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened couple of weeks ago but my sister is still bothering me about it. Also English is not my first language. TLDR at the bottom.\n\nSo I (f27) and my boyfriend (m30) are childfree by choice. My sister (f25) is pregnant for the first time and had a baby shower a few weeks ago. It was a small gathering of about 10 people. \n\nAt the baby shower there was my sister's friend and coworker, we'll call her Elle. I don't really know her, but we're on a friendly level. \n\nThe whole time Elle was making comments regarding me not having children. She doesn't know I'm childfree. Things like \"Oh OP you're gonna have to catch up to Maria's speed, she's younger and already preggy!\" (Maria meaning my sister), or \"When is the baby gonna have a little cousin?\" And stuff like that, and it really annoyed me, but I didn't wanna make a big deal about it. \n\nAt one point Elle and I were in the kitchen, just the two of us and she said \"You're almost 30 right? The next baby shower must be yours haha\" I smiled a little awkwardly and said \"I'm not having children.\" She said \"Well when you change your mind.\" \n\nThis annoyed me so much I decided to say \"I'm actually infertile.\" Just in hopes that it would teach her not to make comments like that to childless people. \n\nMy sister overheard and didn't say anything, but after the party she confronted me. She said she fully supports me being childfree, but that I shouldn't have lied. I know it's not good to lie, but I'm just really sick and tired of the remarks childfree people like me get all the time. \n\nAm I the Asshole for lying like that to teach her to be quiet about things like that? \n\nTLDR: My sister's friend keeps making comments about me not having kids, so I tell her that I'm infertile, even though I'm not, so she would stop making those remarks. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nElle had *no* business bringing up you being child free.\n\nAlso maybe it teaches her that those kind of comments can really hurt someone who isn't child free by choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi reddit community. I wanted to ask for advice. The story begins on 2015 when my father passed away and me and my fathers family got into a legal argument over the inheritence that my father left me. In conclusion I got the inharintence even though I didn't want it and my fathers family cut all contact with me. I thought everything was over, but just a month ago my grandmother called to ask me how I'm doing and so on... In the end of the conversation she mentioned that her sister that's just over 74 years old has just been diagnoses with kidney failure and asked me to donate it, but I refused because I understood that it was the only reason she called, she got angry and told me that I'm not worth anything and that if I donated my kidney at least I would do something good with my life(I'm 21 now). Now over the course of the month I have been verbally abused by my grandmother and her sister, they spread all sorts of rumors about me that really aren't true... And honestly I'm at my breaking point and I just don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for not donating my kidney? Sorry fo the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nDonating an organ is a serious thing and you have every right to decline doing so for whatever reason. \n\nBut especially in this case. \n\nYou aren't an organ factory. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition\/feeding tube\/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nCurrently dealing with this. I'm very very pregnant, my daughter has breathing issues, mom is here staying with us to keep us fed, and our houses are basically on top of each other. \n\nMy daughter is 4. My neighbour's son, her best buddy, is 4. They understand enough that they cannot leave our driveways, they can wave at each other, say hi, but cannot play. They gave started playing from ten feet apart, just waving and screaming at each other. 4, and they get it.\n\nNTA, and I'm getting really fucking tired of entitled parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.\n\nBack in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.\n\nI tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.\n\nBut she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since. \n\nUntil a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.\n\nMy sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.\n\nI told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.\n\nShe asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.\n\nWhen I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).\n\nI get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nConvenient how she suddenly decided to make room for the weights when it suited her. She never answered any of your calls and wasn't interested in picking them up until it suited her. The offer was made **months** ago. If she didn't pick it up in December, that's her problem. It's too late.\n\nShe should respect the fact that you and your wife need it during this quarantine, given that you purchased the damn thing. It doesn't matter if your nephew is on an athletic scholarship. he can find other ways to workout. E.g. bodyweight\/resistance band exercises. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.\n\nThen, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because \"I provoked him\" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.\n\nHe has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nClassic manipulative behavior. \"Look what you made me do.\"\n\nI'd watch out that he doesn't continue to blame you for his behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL;DR is the title, throwaway account, English is not my main language, blablabla \n\nSo I (17M) begged my parents (mid 50s) for a Netflix account for YEARS before i gave up, and just bought my own account. I have the cheapest plan possible, so about 10$ a month (i think) and it's costing me literally half my pocket money.\n\nAbout two month ago, I gave my mom my Netflix, as a way to convince her that it was worth paying for a family account. Needless to say, they weren't convinced. Recently however, my dad, who was the most against me having netflix in the first place (he thinks it's way too addictive) started a show with my mom. They've been watching it everyday for a week now, and today I had to boot a friend out of the account, while he almost never watches anything. They jokingly threatened to cut my pocket money if I didn't boot him, so I gave in. \n\nRight now, they are watching their show, and I know that they only have two episodes left, so I was thinking of booting them out, and not allowing them back in until they pay for half the account. I have no idea if it'll work, but WIBTA ?\n\nUpdate :I have decided that I will not do it, as I think only negative consequences could arise from this. They're also probably too stubborn to buy it anyway, so I'll play the long game and try to convince them slowly. Thanks for everyone's input, even those who said I was TA :) ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nBut this is going to backfire big time.\n\nIf you're paying for this with allowance, allowance they give you. They'll just take your allowance away.  Then make their own account if they're so inclined and not give you the password.\n\nDon't bite the hand that feeds. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.\n\nTonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone. \n\nI confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch. \n\nI pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today). \n\nThen I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of. \n\nHe hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for not believing him\/being suspicious? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nBut let's be honest. You seem to have all the information you need in this situation.\n\nI'm sorry, and it sucks.  I hope you can figure out where to go from here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys\/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.\n\nHowever three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors\/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants. \n\nLater that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and \"masculinity\". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear \"identity\" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy? \n\nTL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta.\n\nBut as a lot of other comments are pointing out that kids are mean, I think you should have an age appropriate talk with him. Something along the lines of \"you are allowed to wear whatever you want and I'll be there supporting you, but there are bad people out there that might make doing what you want difficult.\" Or something along those lines.\n\nBut props for letting him be himself and showing an acceptable household, that will probably lead to more openness from him to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind. \n\nSeveral of my friends have now expressed that they think it's \"covert racism\" and \"culture appropriation\" because my Animal Crossing character is black.\n\nI'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine. \n\nI've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options. \n\nI keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different. \n\nI ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...\n\nSeriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game. \n\nTL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nBlackface is a racist charicature of black people for the purpose of mocking them.\n\nIt's not racist to pick a black character in a video game and nor is it a charicature. It is, therefore, not blackface ######"}
{"prompt":"Had a new countertop and sink installed, and the countertop people don’t do plumbing, so I needed someone to install the new facet and disposal on the new sink.  I can do it myself, but it’s it what brings me joy, plus I’m working.  So I decide to just hire a plumber. \n\nCompany I called is well regarded, I explained clearly and in detail what I needed.  Dispatcher says they’ll send someone to look at it, they’ll give me an estimate, and if I have them do the work, a $70 trip fee will be waived. I agree. \n\nThey send a plumber and assistant out a couple of days later. For a faucet install, they want $199.  For the disposal install, they want $199.  For fitting the drain (apparently not included in your disposal install) they wanted $49. Add on another $58 for parts and supplies and tax.  Total bill: $505.\n\nAn hour’s work, 2 max?  I told the guy $250-500 per hour was more than a little unreasonable. He told me they don’t charge by time, they use “by task transparent pricing”.  Oh, really?  So the dispatcher could have told me the cost when I asked, but they decided to see if they could back me into a corner with an on the spot price and a $70 charge and no working kitchen sink hanging over my head. \n\nI told them no, I would not let them do the work for $500.  He says OK, how would I like to pay for the $70 trip fee.  I declined to pay that as well; while I had agreed to it, I don’t feel compelled to pay if they’re going to be utterly unreasonable in their pricing.  I told him if their manager had a problem with it they could call me. \n\nIn the end I did the work myself in about 2 hours with $10 in parts, reinforcing my feeling that  $500 is a “fuck you” price.  I’m angry.  \n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAsking you to pay $70 for a quote was not done in good faith, not when this is something they could have at least ballparked over the phone. Something like, \"It's going to be $400 just for the faucet and garbage disposal install alone, plus parts.\"\n\nThis was an attempt to use the sunken coast fallacy to charge a premium for work. A lot of people would decide \"Well, I don't want to waste $70, so I may as well pay them to do the work.\" It's manipulative and you were right to send them on their way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I want to be clear before we start, I TOTALLY understand that being pregnant has a multitude of different effects on different women. I understand that some women have it easier than others in terms of their pregnancies, like some women can work on their feet until the day the baby is born whereas some can't after 3 months; that is not the issue at hand. My wife has been out of work for 6 months due to recent things at her job, none of which are her fault. We have been trying for a baby for over a year with no results, besides IVF and have been working hard to have a baby.\n\n\nWith all this in mind my wife has taken it upon herself(from recent world-changing events) to say that *getting* pregnant is now her job. I completely disagree. She's stopped looking for a job now and has stopped any amount of side work she was initially doing as well. I said to her that her looking for a job would help with the income for our baby later but she says all the work required for making a baby has made it a full-time job. Now I don't necessarily disagree with her that this is a lot of work but I've been working 70 hrs\/week for the past 6 months, I don't want to come home and find out I have to do 50% of the chores because she was \"working all day\" as she says. I find this to be a cop-out and quite frankly lazy and ridiculous. Now I never said this verbatim to her but these are my thoughts. AITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAs someone who had difficulty getting pregnant I can say stress can play a factor.  However it doesn’t mean she should live completely stressed free while expecting you to carry the financial burden and also half of the house chores.  She can only do half of the job of trying to conceive.  She needs you to do the other half.  \n\nIn fact, staying at home and becoming baby obsess is pretty unhealthy.  She needs to redirect her attention elsewhere (like working).\n\nEdit: wow!  Thanks for the silver medal kind stranger! ######"}
{"prompt":"There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it.\n\nUnfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard.\n\nNo pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too \"foreign\", and nothing \"unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops\/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most \"adventurous\" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties).\n\nIf left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast.\n\nI'm getting fed up of this.\n\nI want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen.\n\nI said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore.\n\nShe thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then.\n\nAITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAs a kid growing up, I can't count how many times my father told me \"yiou eat what we prepared\". And as a child I was told... \"If you don't like it, you can cook your own meal or go hungry\".\n\nThe same should apply when the children start cooking for the parents. They don't like it? Cook your own meal, or go hungry.\n\nIt's a classic example of a wannabe alpha male trying to exert pressure. Dad wants a meal? He eats what's put before him. Otherwise he can cook his own meal.\n\nDon't enable the bully. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates  boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.  \n\nLater, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '\n\nShe got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.\nI just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .\nI told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAre you supposed to sequester yourself during your \"unclean\" time, too? Periods are a normal function and need to be treated as such. It's not like you were free-bleeding on the furniture, FFS. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand). \n\nThe problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying. \n\nWe’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue. \n\nWIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAnd I have ideas!\n\nMake a game out of counting their orgasms. Keep score on a whiteboard and congratulate the loser each morning. \n\nSuggest that their impressive stamina and mutual enthusiasm deserves to be shared with a wider audience... have they considered monetizing their exuberant sex life? Bonus points for a PowerPoint presentation.\n\nHis and hers ball gags for the next birthday, anniversary, or gift-giving religous holiday of your choice.\n\nLeave business cards for a local motel scattered around the apartment. If you're feeling extra courteous, jot down the hourly rate on a Post-It note.\n\nSearch for one of those \"20 sounds that make dogs bark\" videos on YouTube and play it loudly on repeat the next time they start going at it. Bonus points if you actually have a dog to join in the chorus!\n\nCasually ask for a safe word you can tap in morse code on your mutual wall the next time they get too loud. Demand aftercare and ice cream; you deserve it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.\n\nI live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to \"fuck off back to our own country\" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.\n\nBut their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.\n\nMy solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)\n\nIve tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.\n\nI could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.\n\nBut I have to know Aita? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAlso holy shit what dedication on your neighbors part. To put forth the effort to build a bonfire or BBQ everytime you hang laundry out for the last 10 years. \n\nLike yeah they're assholes but you kind of have to respect that dedication a bit. Next next level petty. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing.  We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3\/4 through the year, the principal in  our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help  for us and for the kid?  No one directly answered me but the discussion continued. \n\nAbout a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her. \n\nI was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\nAddressing a concern that you are in over your head and need additional resources is why that meeting should exist in the first place. If the principals just wanted to feel involved they could have sent out an email. They are the ones who should be getting you and the other teachers the resources you all need to do your jobs. There’s only so much you can do and they need to be team players and not arm chair quarterbacks. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being. \n\nShe is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldn’t. Hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with. \n\nAnyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz it’s hot. My ~~sister~~ gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said ‘maybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunky’ \n\nI saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl. \n\nLiterally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that I’m a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n12 year old girls are incredibly vulnerable to body image issues. You're absolutely right to shut down such comments immediately. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all. \nI am 21 y\/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”. \n\nTo her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line. \nShe never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted. \n\nI’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her. \n\nToday I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n1. She's not joking, she's bullying.\n\n2. She's not sorry, she is upset at being called off with truth.\n\n3 even if you didn't have an eating disorder, her comments are rude and inappropriate. Someone genuinely worried about the health of someone else will not speak like this to that person.\n\nIf she honest to God does a 180 and flies right, great. Otherwise, keep your guard up and know that she's an AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.\n\n\n\nI recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.\n\n\nLast week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.\n\n\n\nI was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n1. She took your food without consent.\n\n2. She lied when asked about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc. \n\nI was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.\n\nTwo days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!\n\nSo the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS). \n\nWell they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”\n\nWhat am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me\n\nThat's some 'Days of Our Lives' level nonsense. ######"}
{"prompt":"As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).\n\nLast week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.\n\nToday during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said \"I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on\". \n\nI told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his \"context-appropriate\" words.\n\nThe conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for **ruining the mood**\n\nWhat mood? The one where he was mean to you for literally no reason while you're trying to help him because he's projecting the insecurities that his injury is giving him onto you? ######"}
{"prompt":"I(25f) got married this past fall. One of the guests was a friend I was close to in high school but we aren’t as close now. She is really good friends with one of my bridesmaids and we still hung out occasionally. She also invited me to her wedding a couple years before. So I invited her to mine.\n\nThis friend has a photography\/wedding planning business but it hasn’t really taken off yet. During my wedding I saw she had her camera but I didn’t pay too much attention to what she was doing. She didn’t get in the way of the photographer so it wasn’t as issue. \n\nA couple days after the wedding my husband and I were tagged in photos. She had posted pictures from the wedding with her watermark on them. One of the pictures was a candid shot of the flower girl. One of the groomsmen (father of flower girl) wrote a comment saying that she did well with his daughter and the friend wrote back that she wasn’t the photographer of the wedding and just a friend. He called my husband and asked if we could talk to her about taking down the picture of his daughter since she wasn’t the photographer and never asked permission to take his daughter’s picture let alone post it to promote her business. \n\nI ended up PMing her and asked if she could take down all the pictures. I told her it was a nice gesture taking pictures but she didn’t ask and I didn’t feel right she was using them to promote her business. I also told her I didn’t feel comfortable she posted a picture of a minor without permission. To be honest I wasn’t a fan of the pictures and they were heavily edited but I didn’t tell her that. She did not take it well. She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend. She did take the pictures down and then blocked me. We haven’t spoken since. \n\nThis happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them. \n\nSo I was curious, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend.\n\nYou're ungrateful she took advantage of you? I guess that makes sense in Crazyland.\n\n>This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. \n\nWell, on the bright side your friends network isn't very drama or trigger happy if *this* is the talk for months. Be happy for the little things?\n\n>Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.\n\nBut... you're not their good friend? You barely know them. Also, a good friend would have asked, oh, and maybe GIVEN YOU THE PHOTOGRAPHS. Seriously, she took a good camera to your wedding and doesn't share the photographs with you. I don't honestly care that much about FB drama, but that's just outright creepy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF and I have been dating for 5 months. She and her kids were abandoned 9 months ago. Dude is POS. Never calls or sees the kids. One Father’s Day he took the son (16) for the weekend while not speaking to the two girls (11) (14).\n\nSo I tell the GF that I don’t think it’s a good idea to go on a date with me and leave the kids home alone. She says the 14 is with friends and I say then it’s worse a 11yo is alone for 6.5-9hrs. She gets mad and says she needs a life to and the kids don’t even pay attention to her. \n\nI tell her it’s a shitty position to be in. Dad left because who knows. Mom is leaving for another man. Moms always get it harder. So in my eyes the kids will get mad at mom and then look at me as an asshole for taking the mom away.\n\nI tell her it’s more common to leave for 2-3 hrs. No big deal. But 6,7,10 that is too long. She gets mad at me and life at that point . \n\nI think it’s too early to spend time with the kids but I did meet the kids 3 years ago and they know me. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>She gets mad and says...the kids don’t even pay attention to her.\n\nIt's *her* job to pay attention to *them.* ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot. \n\nI was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped. \n\nFor about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.\n\nThere were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did. \n\nThis is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place.\n\nThis seems a bit hypocritical, since she kind of did that to you, showing up with a baby wanting you to take care of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign \n\nBoth.  Your wife is on the hook to pay because she cosigned.  I don't know what the cops can do for you, but it wouldn't hurt to call and ask.  More likely, you'll have to settle this in small claims court. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.\nSo I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>Aita Feeling like I had my gift taken away\n\nFirst off, it WAS taken away. Second, even if it wasn't, you're NEVER an AH for any feelings. You might be an AH for actions, but never feelings. I hope you're teaching your son that, too.\n\n>My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing.\n\nIt's YOUR device. Period.\n\n>I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells.\n\nWhy did you take this for an answer? It's your property. He's your child. Why do you have no authority in your house?\n\n>because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. \n\nWhat? That's rude and dismissive. \"Be an adult\" would mean going in there and putting a password on your Switch so your child doesn't get to play YOUR Switch. If your husband wants to get your kid a Switch, that's different.\n\n>He said one is enough. \n\n...why does he get to make that decision by himself? What sort of a relationship do you have with him?\n\n>He said I can play when he is done \n\nSo he lied when he said it was your device and game. \n\n>and stop being sad over a kids game.\n\nThis makes my blood boil. Playing games is a hobby. Do you make fun of his hobbies? Do you make fun of movies he enjoys? I'm going to guess there are 'kids stuff' in there as well. That's dismissive, rude and I hope you bit his head off (figuratively) for being such a jerk. Video games revenue is $134 billion in 2018, while movies were $44 billion. Kinda good for \"kids stuff.\"\n\nThe next time he tries to have ice cream, take it away because it's a \"kids thing.\" Candy? Pizza? Kids thing. Any sort of action movie? Kids thing, or maybe teenager thing. \n\nIt really sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.\n\nAbout a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.\n\nAbout a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n> However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. \n\nWhoa. Big, whoa. That your spouse doesn't think treating you decently should be a prerequisite for interaction with them or your children is alarming. How is it depriving them to not allow a person who demonstrates such cruelty to have access to them?\n\n> It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.\n\nYou're right about that. ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters it's nothing against her ring at all. It's beautiful and has sentimental value.  \nIt's just my parents are divorced and my siblings and I had a very crappy childhood due to abuse and neglect.  \nI have a semi steady relationship with both my parents but every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same. \nI'm currently wearing a temporary ring due to my mother's not fitting me and with everything closed I can't get it fixed until this pandemic is over but I'm starting to get attached to it even if it's a cheap Amazon ring. \nI've talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to be happy so he is fine either way but I know it hurts my mom with me not wearing it when she was the one who gave it to my fiance to give to me. \nI guess I want to know if I WBTA if I just give the ring back to my mother.\nI'm not the first to get married out of her kids either. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n> every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same\n\nThat's a really, really good reason not to wear that ring.\n\nKeep the cheap Amazon ring if it's special to you! It was given to you by someone who really loves you. \n\nThis really has nothing whatsoever to do with your mother. It's between you and your fiance. ######"}
{"prompt":"CW: eating disorder and mental illnessy stuff. It’s okay though, we’re all good now.\n\nThis is going to sound like a very, very, weird troll post, or just something weird in general, but here goes. \n\nOkay. So. I (M20) am gay, and have had (had) a friend from high school, “Rachel” (F22); who graduated earlier than me by a year. Recently, I discovered that Rachel has been going around talking about how she had anorexia in high school, and going in great lengths about her hospitalisation, down to which room number she was in. According to her, this breakdown was caused by my diagnosis with AIDs as a teenager, and it weighed heavily on her, because she was my best friend.\n\nThe first issue with that, is I don’t have AIDs. I’m not even HIV positive. The second issue with that, is she has never been hospitalised for anorexia. The third issue is that the details of hospitalisation she’s describing are my hospitalisation.\n\nThat was a fuckton to wrap my head around, and I wasn’t sure how I should act. Whilst I was deliberating, Rachel (last night), decided to hold a Zoom call for our friends for us to chill and hangout together. It went late to the night, and I wasn’t completely sober. Because that’s how I confront. We were talking about sex, and someone asks me how I’m dealing with the virus. Here, Rachel gets nervous, and tries to change the subject.\n\nI laugh, and go “Dude, I dont know what you heard, but I’m cleaner than Rachel’s room.”\n\nYeah, that was petty.\n\nSomeone asks Rachel about it, and she’s evading it, and I’m like fuck it, if this is all coming out, so I add “I mean me having AIDs is about as true as you having had an eating disorder.”\n\nAt this she disconnects the call. She texts me later “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,” and according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.\n\nI’m slightly hungover but I will do my best to answer questions, so AITA for handling it the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n>  “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,”\n\n*She's* the one who made it public.\n\n> according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.\n\nSounds like a win all around. ######"}
{"prompt":"My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.\n\n\nMy mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish. \n\n\nI fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.\n\nSo reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n“Mom. You already have animals illegally. I’m not going to participate in your breaking the law.” ######"}
{"prompt":"So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.\n\nIt's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.\n\nI hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.\n\nWIBIA?\n\nAlso I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n\n\nOur feelings about how our parents participate- or not- in our lives are valid. If it stings when that’s pointed out it’s probably because there’s truth in the allegation. \n\nGo forth young one and tik tok away. ######"}
{"prompt":"Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff. \n\nI dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15. \n\nWhen I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it. \n\nFew hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair. \n\nThe way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks. \n\nMy partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n\"It's his lunch. Did you have lunch?\"\n\n\"Yes.\" \n\n\"What did you have for lunch?\"\n\n\"[Birthday food].\"\n\n\"Did your brother get [birthday food] for lunch?\" \n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"Alright then. Do you want to hang out in your room for a bit while you figure out what this means?\"\n\n\"No.\" \n\n\"Good. Let's heard no more about it.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey there,\n\nFirst time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.\n\nBackstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child\/block contact.\n\nWhen I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.\n\nThere’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n\"Hey babe, I noticed this extra money here, maybe we can take care of some bills and...\"\n\n\"WHAT?! I'M NOT CHEATING WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?! WHO SAID I'M CHEATING?!!\".\n\nHe's cheating. ######"}
{"prompt":"I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!\n\nI have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face. \n\nWhen carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair. \n\nMy husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth &amp; on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head\/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.\n\nHis reasons are:\n1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)\n2- he says it is not manly \n3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID). \n\nThis turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty? \n\nSo Reddit. Am I the asshole?\n\nTLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n\"Fellas, is it gay to touch your wife?\" ######"}
{"prompt":"\nNeedless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch\/use\/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place.\" Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n*Especially* when she found out you literally only had one belt and she took it anyway after being explicitly told not to do so. It's not like she was taking extra stuff that wasn't being used (in which case she would still be TA for not asking) but she literally took a daily necessity! ######"}
{"prompt":"So, a little bit of background. \n\nMy sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here. \n\nWell, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n**Your sisters feelings and entertainment are not more important than the health\/life of your family.**\n\nYou did the right thing. Unfortunately doing the right thing isn’t always fun, easy, or comfortable.  Your sister should be the one who feels guilty, not you. Her behavior is cringe worthy. She was willing to put your grandmothers health at risk for her own entertainment. She seems entitled AF honestly- I can’t imagine thinking having a couple of my friends (who ignore social distancing) are worth the chance that my sweet MeaMaw contracts Covid-19. \n\n**What your sister attempted  to do was manipulative, sneaky and shitty AF. I’m not sure if she’s ignorant to what’s going on it the world, but someone should remind her we are in a fucking pandemic.** ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put \"Bisexual\" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask.\n\nMy boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not \"open for shop\". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating.\n\nHe says that my bio and my \"provocative\" photos are giving people ideas.\n\nI explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving.\n\nAm I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n**LEAVE THIS ASSHOLE** \n\n1. He us acting like you're trying to put your sexuality out there because you want attention from others. This is who you are. \n\n2. He said that you don't have a choice. Are you really wanting to be in a relationship where someone tells you that you don't have a choice in *anything*? \n\n3. Leave him. You can find someone so much better than this trash. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before anything- I am not currently pregnant but her daughter (bfs sister) is. We have talked a lot about marriage and kids recently so its casual conversation that's talked about lightly. \n\nWe recently visited my boyfriends parents house. After a few hours we were talking about his sister and his mother said that she was upset that due to hospital rules when the baby is born she wont be able to be there. She said that this is the first grandchild (she has like 10) that she wouldnt see being born. \n\n\nI right away kind of brought up that when I have kids my boyfriend is the only person, besides the doctor and nurses obviously, that are allowed in the room. She initially looked hurt and said that she had been in the room for everyone and that she would stay by my head and talk. Again I said no and said no one is allowed to see that. But this is something I KNOW I will not and can't change my mind on. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.\n\n You're giving birth, not her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm F27 and my co-worker is M23, his GF makes him 3 meals a day and he brings in these amazing lunches to work all the time. He mentioned that she does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and goes to school and has a part time job. When he told me that I was like wow you don't do anything at home? He just said work is stressful enough and she likes taking care of him. Yeah ok, I'm sure she does, is what I tell him. One day he brought in some lunch and asked if I wanted it because his GF didn't make the lasagna the way he likes it. I declined but heard him berating his GF on the phone about 5 mins later in the lobby of our office building. When we got up to the office I told him how he treats his GF is abusive and not right and he told me its none of my business and to stop prying in and spying on her personal life or he'll go to HR.... I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I'm a bit of an ass for confronting him about it and maybe it was just a one time blow up and I shouldn't get involved in his life.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.\n\nThis led to a lot of \"jokes\" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.\n\nAt one point, my husband's great uncle made a \"joke\" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.\n\nMy husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many \"jokes\" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######","completion":" NTA..she literally started the joke, she’d probably want you to continue it in her memory. Also your brother in law is a homophobe which automatically makes him an AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.\n\nEveryone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat. \n\nMy step mom says \n\n“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!” \n\nWhich is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”\n\nShe says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.\n\nMy dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA...your stepmom set you up for failure. She knew you wouldn’t want to go, and she tried to spin it against you. She dangled the bait, and you took it. \n\nSo no, I wouldn’t apologize, but you’re a child living in your parents’ home. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######","completion":" NTA...your mom and stepdad are though. Seriously, who chooses their 8 year old kids bday to get married?!?! Talk about fucked up priorities...and to then just treat it like it’s ONLY your anniversary? That goes above and beyond being an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.\n\nGranddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.\n\nMy siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then \"as in granddad Charles?\" and I confirmed it.\n\nMy sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta...now you have your excuse to kick the whole family. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin).  We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim.  I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.  \n\nI lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table).  I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner.  I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner. \n\nMe and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong.  She got annoyed and said I should dress more \"modestly\" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake.  She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA...how old is your sister? If she's young I can see why she said that. Usually younger girls think that you're not supposed to give any indication whatsoever that you're wearing a bra or something. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives\/friends houses too.  He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.\n\n***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######","completion":" NTA...are you a housekeeper? Why does he keep doing this? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a preschool teacher. My niece (4) has really struggled to learn her letters and numbers mostly because my brother and SIL think it’s the school’s responsibility. I try to teach her when I see her but I have explained she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year. Most of my class knows their ABCs, can count up to a certain number, etc. \n\nNiece has no diagnosed learning disabilities and when I teach her, she’s attentive and wants to learn. It just doesn’t stick because I don’t see her often and brother and SIL do fuck all.\n\nMy brother and SIL also think it’s “cute” when she miscounts when playing a game or when she gets a letter wrong. I don’t play along and redirect her to learn.\n\nI recently told my brother (again) that he needs to get on top of teaching her. He shrugged me off. I said her not knowing things wasn’t “cute” and that her charm won’t carry her in life. This offended him and he told me that I was insulting his child. I said no, it’s not her fault. It’s on him. \n\nNow we’re not speaking. My mom says I should apologize. I don’t think so. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA..... Teacher here..... Two important factors are 1) Is the kid watching Sesame Street during the day and 2) Is the parent even trying to sing the Alphabet with them?  The biggest factor for a child's growth is that the parents are trying SOMETHING to show an interest in their kid.  His \"Let the school handle it\" is starting his kid off at a disadvantage.  Tell him AT LEAST to have the kid watch Sesame Street. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.\n\n Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.\n\nI’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \\*I\\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.\n\nAt the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######","completion":" NTA.... it’s your money, right? only you can decide what to do with it. it’s not selfish to use it on necessary things, like a car or to help pay for school. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nUsually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nA few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm \"asleep.\" So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI \\*could\\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA for not letting him in? ######","completion":" NTA.... If they are going to be like this, they need to get their own damn apartment together. ######"}
{"prompt":"So. the tech support company that we pay needed to reinstall software after we factory reset the computer.\n\nNot a big deal, when we got the computer it took about half an hour to do it all. \n\nNow, today I had an appointment so I just dropped it off. We know the owner, he married me and my husband so there's a good deal of trust.\n\nIt wasn't the owner but one of his workers. How badly could things go? They are installing their anti-virus\/malware and TeamViewer, along with setting up an admi account for my husband and I.\n\n I told him the admin password to use, I WROTE IT DOWN . And well, the password they set? ....a number is the same and there's 2 same letters in the 12 letter password.\n\nHe did not install TeamViewer or the anti-virus. He added a \"primary\" admin account that neither my husband or I have access to and that monitors everything on the computer.\n\nWe can no longer install\/update anything. I've been texting the owner and once I laid out all the issues,he started ignoring me until my husband texted him.\n\nThis is my computer, not my husband's but both the owner and employee refused to do the simple thing I requested and ignore me. Apparently as a woman I don't know computers.\n\nI'm furious. I've been ignored, my privacy invaded.  How can I fix this myself without involving the tech support company?I  no longer trust them.\n\nMy husband is furious about the monitoring software.\n\nWould I be the asshole if I left reviews detailing this on yelp and Facebook? ######","completion":" NTA... you would be an asshole if you didn’t leave bad reviews! ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my parents and I had a serious discussion concerning life insurance. They are, by no means, expecting to pass anytime soon. However, they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it. \n\nThe topic of my younger siblings eventually came up. I’m about 16 years older than both of them and I’m 23 currently. They simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen. Unsurprisingly, their first option was myself. Their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely. \n\nThey explained to me that, if anything should happen to them, that I would have to prepare to care for my two siblings. They phrased it in such a way that I’d most likely have to move, find a different job, and raise them with my fiancé. They also told me that “it would be easy” because this life insurance would be helping me financially. \n\nI declined fairly quick. My mom was completely understanding, which I appreciated. However, my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision. He didn’t say anything beyond “but they’re your brother and sister” and “you should be there for them”. Yeah, I love them unconditionally, but I don’t even want kids of my own! And the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me. \n\nThey haven’t brought it up again since, but I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice. I definitely feel selfish, but... I feel like it’s my right to say no? On the other hand, my stepdad’s words make me feel like the asshole here. ######","completion":" NTA... you are not obliged to look after your siblings.\n\nI was in a similar situation, social services decided my brothers kid needed to live elsewhere and got in contact with myself.... was a long resounding ‘noooooo’ and I have two of my own. (Other family was found willing)\n\nAs much as you love these children, if you can’t give them your all then I fundamentally believe it’s better for them to be looked after by family who can. ######"}
{"prompt":"for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable. \n\ni lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job. \n\nwith it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######","completion":" NTA... that’s very strange. I don’t even have much to say because of how strange that is to me. \n\nIt’s your house. Wear whatever you want. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend(anna) and I live in the same town. We went to high school together and were pretty close friends since then.I moved into the current city I am living in for work and she moved to the same city a year ago with her girlfriend after her homophobic parents kicked her out(she came out to her parents at the age of 20 and hid it from them until then).\n\nA few weeks ago,anna and her girlfriend had  a messy breakup and anna asked whether she could move in with me till the lockdown ends. I said yes.\n\nI live alone with my 2 year old dog.\n\nIts pretty hot where I live and both me and anna usually wear a bra and shorts at home. A week ago while we were having homemade pizza,a small bit fell on her thighs and instead of picking it up she called my dog and made him eat it(lick it off from her thighs). I found this a bit odd after she commented how warm and big my dog's tongue was but didn't comment.\n\nAfter that incident, I saw this happening multiple times and grew more and more uncomfortable and tried telling this was weird asf.\n\nShe laughed it off saying that it was just funny and she missed her pet from her parents house.\nToday,a few hours ago,I was coming out of my room after a meeting when I saw her applying nutella on her chest and on her nipple and have my dog lick it.\n\nI was APPALLED and DISGUSTED.  she saw me while my dog was licking her and pushed my dog away and covered herself and tried to laugh it off as usual.\n\nI was very angry by this point and told her I was going to kick her out immediately and what she did was disgusting and there was no excuse to it.\n\nI meant it as a threat and a warning but she is refusing to apologise and is crying and accusing me of making her already difficult life  more difficult while completely avoiding the issue and now I am actually thinking of kicking her out.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA... That's just... Jesus.. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf \"your parents told me to tell you x\" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like \"take out the trash young woman\" or \"go to your room\". \n\n\nHer parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them \" I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that.\" They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ######","completion":" NTA... her parents are weird ######"}
{"prompt":"My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.\n\n I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.\n\nHe was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######","completion":" NTA... he got an illegal tattoo at 15. Who knows the sanitary conditions where he got it? If a tattoo artist ignores basic rules around age of consent, who knows where else they are cutting corners. IMO he's getting off easy with a punishment rather than hepatitis. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers\/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons. \nI thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift. \nI talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move. \n\nShe got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######","completion":" NTA... but your \"friend\" sure sounds like one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4\/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment. \n\n1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted \n2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system. \n\nBecause I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.\n\nNow I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######","completion":" NTA... assuming you actually do have *legal* guardianship and you're in line with your state's laws, you are in the right. You're bearing the costs of their son and not them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc. \n\nA few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem. \n\nWe didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.\n\nFast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.\n\nUpon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.\n\nI said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.\n\nI got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult. \n\nAm I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.\n\nThanks in advance for all the feedback. ######","completion":" NTA... and get out. She clearly doesn’t respect your finances or property. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know how I might be wrong. Calling my wife out  in public, adhering to a sexist stereotype, etc. I know hoe she might be in the wrong, lying and adhering to a sexist stereotype.\n \nSo, let’s start the story. Yesterday, a couple of my friends, my wife and I were video chatting. Casually, someone asked who was the breadwinner in our relationship. She full on lies and says that she’s the breadwinner. I think she expected for me to say nothing. I just mentioned that she was lying and that I actually earned more than her\n \nThe thing is I wouldn’t’ve cared if she didn’t answer or if she said that was sexist. I honestly wouldn’t’ve. But she falsely said that she did earn more than me. That’s entirely wrong, I earn more than twice than she does.\n \nMy wife is pretty mad and won’t talk to me because “I called her out” and “I was being a sexy(st) jerk”\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA... also, why the fuck does it matter so much to her? If she has to lie about it maybe she should get a better job or something if she’s going to feel so insecure about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning my mom woke me up to take care of the baby. \n\nIt went something like this m=my mother. \nOp is me so it’s easier to read. \n\nM: “Op get up now. You’re not hurting go change the baby.”\n\nOp: “hold up my stomach is doing something” \nAt this point she’s yelling. And I’m already getting up. \n\nM: “DO IT NOW!”\n\nOp: “Jesus christ I’m getting up. You just had to wait 10 seconds.” During this time she was making a bottle. \n\nM: “You’re always doing something! You’re head hurts or your stomach hurts. Or it’s homework. You’re so inconsiderate and a liar. I won’t take you driving until you treat me better.” \n\nOp: “I don’t care if you take me driving. I’ll do it when I’m 18.” \n\nThis is the main problem for me. When she starts yelling I zone out or something and I don’t react to most things she says. \n\nM: “You’re a selfish, inconsiderate child. What are a sociopath? I bet you’re lying about this. I don’t have time for breakfast and I can’t make lunch now.”\n\nOp: “if you stop talking you can make it.” At this moment I was done with everything. \n\nM: “You really don’t care.”\n\nShe went to her room and cried for 10 mins before going to work. \n\nSome background. When I was around 8\/9 I had a bad thing with lying. But I got over it and she still rubs it in my face. My dad can’t help as he is out of the picture. This happens almost every morning. ######","completion":" NTA.. youre a teenager and its not your baby. Its very kind of you to be helping in the first place. Your mom sounds stressed but also like shes taking you for granted. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background info: my fiancée and I got engaged September of 2019, we decided to get married on our anniversary this year in October 2020. My aunt and her fiancée got engaged at the end of December 2019 like 1-2 days after Christmas and have set their wedding date in April 2021. \nMy wedding is going to be a courthouse wedding with a small nice intimate dinner for close friends and family (I only had 15 people or less on my list and have never wanted a ceremony). This will be my first (hopefully only) wedding.\nMy aunt is having a MASSIVE wedding ceremony and reception costing $60k+ with 200-500 people in attendance. This will be her second wedding.\n\nAnyways onto the story, so back before the ‘rona started I was out with my group of close friends and a few mutuals for lunch. \nI was talking about my upcoming wedding and then my Bf (best friend) and I began discussing my aunts wedding. Well one of my close friends and their mutual friend was listening and interrupted us to say that I HAD to change my wedding date because it was too close to my aunts and it wasn’t fair of me to “outshine” her. All other conversations stopped and everyone is still divided on the issue. I was so in shock I was silent for a bit and then left after saying “guess you’re uninvited then” and I cried in my bf car for 2 hours. It’s been bugging me for the past 2 months since it happened, I just can’t see how keeping my wedding date would be disrespectful to my aunt? I honestly don’t want to speak with those people anymore but maybe I’m looking at it from the wrong perspective? My absolute closest friends (known for 10+ years) say that I’m NTA but enough of them are saying that I will be if I don’t move my wedding that I’m beginning to wonder WIBTA for keeping my wedding date as is? ######","completion":" NTA.. wait.. do I have a bum calendar because October is not even close to April...how is your date close to hers? Did I read that wrong? I don’t think you are TA for not changing the date... I think.. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm honestly just questioning things right now and I want honest answers. Please hear me out. \n\nSo, my fiance has a brother who is autistic. He's a great kid and he's pretty fun to hang out with. I had absolutely no problem with him until he grabbed my butt. I have circumstances that I can't handle people touching me out of nowhere and his brother came up behind me and did it. I broke down crying and I shut down for around half an hour. \n\nAfter I had recovered, his mother told me,\"Oh, he has autism. He doesn't know any better.\" I got really pissed at her when she said that because he's almost 13. I don't treat him any different than I do from my fiance's other brother. I don't give him special passes or special treatments just because he's autistic. I treat him like he's a normal 13 year old kid. \n\nHis mother got angry at me because I got protective about myself and my body and that I wasn't willing to just brush it off because he's autistic. I wasn't mad at him, I'm pissed at his mother using his autism as an excuse for how he touches other people. I'm worried he's gonna get hurt one day because his mom is excusing his behaviour. \n\nSo, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta.. the parents are putting the kid's life in danger.. autism is not a reason not to teach.. if they keep doing that, he might end up doing something to someone who won't give a fxck about his autism and end up hurting him.. have u talked to your fiance about it? It looks like the kid has a good grasp on what's right or wrong if he understands boundaries.. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.\n\nToday I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.\n\nShe said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.\n\nShe got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.\n\nShe blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.. sore winning is as bad as sore losing. You dont even need an excuse to say no... playing games together is supposed to be fun and challenging for everyone.\n\nbut ... if you want to shut her down hard, heres what you do... tell her you are going to spend the night practising and studying chess (dont do that - just enjoy a peaceful quiet night at home). When you set up for your game with her, open a second game on your phone (player vs CPU) and set it on the hardest difficulty.\n\nWhen she makes a move, input it into the game on your phone, then just take the CPUs reply move and play it against her.\n\nBeat her badly a few times and then just accept your victory graciously and without celebration (or literally rip off your shirt and do the gatorade thing if you like)\n\nEither way, problem solved. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context I live in an apartment complex where the doors face eachother and the space is relatively small. I understand how the camera works in that it picks up on motion and what not and sends an alert to your phone.\n\nMy primary concern with this is that this particular neighbor has a history of stealing my packages or attempting to. I've caught him at least 3-4 times stealing my chewys orders and even tried to steal my grandfathers fathers day gift when it was delivered. Hell I have to be careful with food delivery because he tries to steal my groceries when theyre delivered and my uber orders if I order out ((we are in a hotspot and im high risk for covid so I stay put most of the time)).\n\nI also work over night so I tend to walk my dogs around 4 am when I get off and its cool. The other day I got a nasty note on my door from him telling me not to walk my dogs as I set off the alarm.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.. how is he gonna install a camera overlooking a PUBLIC SPACE by the way and be mad at YOU for walking your dog.... IN A PUBLIC SPACE. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.\nMy mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.\nNow onto the story.\n\nMy sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning. \nThe problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.\nI’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.\nMy niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.\nMy mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche\/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Youve taken in every child so far. You have other siblings who can care for them, and if they were so close to your sister hopefully they will. You are still adjusting to your current family dynamic. Take time to focus on your core family for now. You cant be expected to take everyones children ...especially if later in life you and your gf want your own. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I currently live in a caravan on the beachside, it’s 2bed and a nice place to live, we are planning on moving sometime though as we are expecting our first child but we’re looking at a 3bed house in a similar area.\n\nThe extra bedroom was planned to be another babies room as we want two children.\n\nMy wife’s grandmother suffers from short term memory loss and everything is emotional with her, she’ll cry when you put away her food and cry when she has peas, she’ll cry about cold weetabix,  she’ll hide her soiled underwear, wrap her veg in tinfoil and hide that and lately she’s been found in her garden in a confused state.\n\nShe’s got a carer but the company isn’t prepared for the state my wife’s grandmother is in anymore and has suggested a care home, my wife will not do that, I’ve suggested a live in carer but my wife believes she’s better with us (we’re her only family)\n\nI’m 28 and my wife is 25, I don’t think I’m prepared to not only have a newborn but also someone who requires a lot of care.\n\nMy wife works from home, sometimes so she’d be the one mostly caring for our newborn and her grandmother.\n\nShe’s said her grandmother can live with us and we’ll hire a carer to come in twice a day.\n\nThe thing is I don’t want to compromise, we will have a new house and I don’t  want soiled underwear hidden  around the house.\n\nMy wife isn’t speaking to me currently for making her pick between her or family, we are family so it should be easy enough.\n\nMy mother thinks I’m being an asshole.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wife's grandmother needs to be a stable environment that provides constant enrichment, medical support, and psychological care. Dementia is not something that can be managed in an unsecured house while simultaneously caring for a newborn and attempting to work. A carer coming in to assist two times a day does not mean that she'll be able to leave the house to go shopping or take the baby to the doctor. Babies are rough on adult sleep schedules, but if you've got a dementia patient in the house, naps will be few and far between. A new baby also adds a lot of laundry ... and so does a person who has continence issues. Your wife will have to make sure that grandma is never left alone in the kitchen (turning on burners and appliances is common with unsupervised dementia patients), that her bath time is supervised (and she'll probably have to help with basic hygiene), and that all doors to the outside are constantly secured. And this is just the short-list of issues. \n\nYour wife has an unrealistic idea of what she will be capable of handling. She is purposely NOT looking at this from a practical and realistic perspective because for her, it's an emotional decision. Validate her emotional desire to be there for her grandmother and encourage her to start thinking about what is REALLY best for everyone in this situation. It would be one thing if you were moving into HER house (where she'd be in a familiar place, which helps a lot with dementia patients), but she'd be moving into an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar place, and all of the people and rhythms she's accustomed to will be gone. I work with dementia patients and those things are HUGE issues that can cause enormous emotional distress. Being moved into an environment that is designed for such patients is a MUCH better option and her grandmother will benefit from the constant attention and interaction. Wishing you all kinds of luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background &amp; Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress\/frustration\/constant policy changes.\n\nYears ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.\n\nIncident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental\/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress\/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it. \n\nFew friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wife needs to act like an adult and learn to do things for herself. You have a full time job - you don’t need her job to cost you more hours if your day than it does her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well. \n\nMy wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos. \n\nThis has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand. \n\nHowever when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids. \n\nI feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wife is being ridiculous. 10-15 minutes of conversational Japanese will not kill her, especially if she isn't even around for it. She sounds incredibly selfish and immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.\n\nFor some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.\n\nThings have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of \"You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant\".\n\nAs a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wife is aware of the fact that you suffered from an eating disorder, correct? Then, pregnancy hormones or not, she should try not to talk about such things around you. I get that she wants someone to reassure her and tell her that she’s still beautiful, but, when it comes to her weight, she can look for that reassurance somewhere else. If I knew that my partner was triggered by something, I would do my best not to bring up that topic, especially if it could make them relapse. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am probably TA but I am curious \n\nMy parents split when I was around 5ish, my dad stayed single but my mom remarried when I was 11 to a guy who had 3 kids of his own.  At the time they were 13, 10, and 9 while I was 11 about to turn 12, I only saw them like one week in a month cause my dad had primary custody.  We never really blended cause I rarely if ever saw them and I always felt like my mom kind of forgot about me for them.  There was 1 big incident when I was 13 and while at my dads they went on a really big 2 and a half week vacation, and I didn't even find out about it till I was at their place and my step sister let it out, they were trying to hide it from me..........\n\nAfter that incident I lived full time with my dad and only saw them for 1 month in the summer and nothing else.  I didn't cut contact but I went extremely low contact when I went to college.  I met my GF in college and we dated for a couple years and are now engaged.  We WERE supposed to already have our wedding but that got canceled, and now its gonna be whenever the world is safe again.  \n\nI sent out the invites, and its basically both our families and friends, I sent one to my mom and told her only she can come but not her husband or his kids.  She said thats completely unfair and said she can't come if at least her husband can't go with her.  I told her that I want it only family there, she said that she will think about coming but will have to think about it.  \n\nI was talking with my SO about this and she is saying that I'm being \"too hard\" on my mom.  I said I can see what she is saying but she doesn't understand why I don't want my step family at the wedding.  She dropped the convo but said she wishes I reconsider.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Your mom made her choices years ago. She doesn’t get to play loving mom now just because she wants to. Your SO has not had the same experiences as you and is most likely having difficulty understanding the depth of damage your mother did your relationship. So cut her a little slack. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married. \n\nMy grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.\n\nWhen I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your wedding, your choice. End of discussion. \n\nBad luck? I just can't. Weddings and marriages aren't \"successful\" bc of luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have grown a peach tree from seed. A lot of care and planning had gone into this tree, from genetic planning to training and now I have gotten my first harvest(6lbs of fruit- dwarf tree)\n\nA few days after harvest, my mother asked me when I’m going to distribute some along the neighbourhood to which I said I wasn’t planning on doing so. She says that’s mean as people have noticed the tree and are expecting something and I said yea well tough luck. \n\nI intend on eating a good chunk of it myself fresh and then preserving the rest by pickling them with honey. \n\nNote: all care towards this tree was performed by me alone and it’s on MY private property and not a communal area. ######","completion":" NTA. Your tree, your land, your peaches. \n\nThe Song goes 'Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me.'\n\nTell 'em Peaches for me, not for thee. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can. \n\nMy fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&amp;D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there. \n\nHere's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&amp;D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######","completion":" NTA. Your title is misleading. You aren't excluding one of his friends. You are excluding his toxic ex. Nobody should be surprised that she isn't invited. ######"}
{"prompt":"From the age of 13-17 yo I went to a boarding school where I was bullied. Although there were many people that treated me like shit, there was this one guy who's worse than the others. From name calling to physical bullying, he did it all. I was horrified of him. Really horrified. It went to a point that I absolutely willing to do anything so just I won't have to stumble upon him. \n\nAt the age of 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression. Sure he wasn't the only cause of it but he sure did his fair share. I couldn't drop out of the school because I went there on scholarship. Dropping out would mean I have to pay it back. Could not really talk to any adults either because snitches get way more stitches.  In the subsequent years, I learned to make myself small so that nobody would notice my presence. Things did not get better but it's bearable. \n\nA few days before I officially finished my highschool and went my own ways, he came to me apologizing. I asked him why he treated me horribly for all those years. He told me that there was no reason for it. Apparently I might've rub him the wrong way somehow. He asked me to forgive him because once we out of school we probably will never met again. \nI told him no.\n\nA few days ago, his wife reached out to my friend asking for my number. She called me asking if I'm willing to talk to his husband. Apparently he's not in good condition health wise and is still bothered that I didn't accept his apology. I don't know the details but my friend told me he's dying. \n\nMy therapist told me that I need to let go of my past. My boyfriend told me to be the bigger person and  I will be TA if I were to ignore him. \n\nWIBTA if I still refuse to talk to him or accept his apology? ######","completion":" NTA. Your therapist is right, you need to let go of the past and move on, however that doesn’t mean that you have to accept his apology. He terrorized you for years, you don’t owe him anything even on his death bed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway.\n\nMy parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).\n\nAnyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.\n\nAnyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.\n\nSo I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: \"they're my best friends and I want them there.\"  \n\n\nShe ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your stepmom should be more accepting and it’s your wedding not hers. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.\n\nhe frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse. \n\nas much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial \"support\"(he blows all his money on stupid things)\n\nmy mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care). \n\nI recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like \"your mom needs you to stay here\", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.\n\ntoday was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone \"because she wanted to do something nice for him\". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.\n\nI think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.\n\nAITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######","completion":" NTA. Your step-father is abusive, and your mother is enabling his abuse. You're absolutely justified in wanting to cut this toxicity out of your life. No one should have to put up with abusive behaviour, and if the best way to protect yourself from his abuse is to cut both of them out of your life, please go ahead and do that. Your emotional health is important and worth protecting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway.\n\nMy parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).\n\nAnyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.\n\nAnyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.\n\nSo I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: \"they're my best friends and I want them there.\"  \n\n\nShe ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your step mom is discriminating and your step sister supports that from her response. If they really cared  and wanted to be there they would have looked past all that. Sad that their hate extends further than their love. ######"}
{"prompt":"- This is a throwaway. I am typing this on my tablet.\n\nMe and my husband have two children, twins boy ( \"Liam\") and girl (\" Molly\") who are 10. \n\nOur rules for giving them pocket money are:\n\n- £10 is the start off.\n\n- Any bad behaviour that is continued after a warning will mean £1 is deducted.\n\n- For the 5 weekdays they will each have the oportunity to do 2 houshold tasks a day, each task rewards them with an extra £1 towards their pocket money. If they do 2 chores a day for every weekday, their total is £15.\n\n- If for each weekday their room is tidy (no mess on floors, clothes and toys put away) then they get and extra £3 towards their weekly total. We let them know in advance if we feel their room is unclean so they have a chance to earn the money.\n\n- If their bed is made each week day then they get an extra £2 for the total.\n\nSo if they do all of this their weekly total is £20. On the weekend any chore they do earns them a bonus £1 which is given to them right away.\n\nWe always set aside easy chores, and always give them a chance to say yes or no. We do not save better chores for either of them. \n\nLiam's pocket money at most has been £14, the least he has ever been given is £6. We offer both of them a chance to earn back money they lost. Molly almost always gets £20 and will do a few bonus chores as well. Molly sometimes saves her money, the most she has saved it for is 5 weeks, Liam has had many arguments with me and his dad saying that we are picking favorites and giving her more money. She has more stuff than him but that is because she earned the money and saves it. \n\nMy MIL and FIL do not agree with mine and their sons ways. But we both believe we are doing nothing wrong, since there is no reason my son would not be able to do chores, and we always offer chores to him. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your son has the same opportunities and is choosing not to do them, as well as not to save. It's a life lesson. \n\nAlso, my room is clean so can you send me a couple? ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your son at 13 would know what grandma is really sick and I need to take care of her means. It’s not like he’s a little boy. You left the choice up to him without guilting him and that’s being a good parent. ######"}
{"prompt":"Post ahead so get in. \n\nBackstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.\n\nNow i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]\n\nL is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like \"I miss the homies and the drugs\". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit. \n\nI've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say \"Its her life, let her do what she pleases\" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to \"Stay in my lane\"\n\nShe recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs. \n\nEdit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like \"You cant tell me what to do.\" I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.\n\n Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister's brain is still developing, heavy drug use will not be good. Please report it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m my homes Cinderella basically. No, my family isn’t abusive. But all the chores in my house are given to me. Everyone else is exempt from picking up after themselves...I must do it for them. If I’m sick and can’t do it, no one will do it. If I don’t feed the dog, no one will do it. Giant spill on the counter? Whoever did it won’t clean it up. I have to do it. \n\nMy sister is the worst out of the 3 people in my family. She will cook something and leave the scraps of food all over the kitchen all day. There’s so much clutter all over the counters there’s no room for anything. Day after day I have to clean it. \n\nI’ve mentioned this to my parents and they don’t give a fuck. My parents are very lazy tbh and if it’s not their problem or if it doesn’t affect them they don’t care. They are so easy on my sister who can do whatever she wants, when she wants. She’s 17 and I’m 22. I’ve asked her to contribute and clean up after herself but she just whines. \n\nSo today she made a salad. There’s lettuce all over the counter, chopped tomatoes on the floor, and dirty dishes left all over the table. So I took her mess and her dishes and put it on her room on her floor so she’d finally clean it. She freaked out and asked why it was there and I said “because it’s your mess and if you keep refusing to clean up after yourself, I’ll move the mess to your room so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s ready to be cleaned whenever you are!” \n\nShe flipped out and told my parents I messed up her room and they got upset with me saying that I’m causing drama in the house and that my sister is bored being in the house all day and doesn’t need this stress. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister sounds like a spoiled brat. Your parents sound like spoiled brats as well. Stop doing things. Feed the dog but stop contributing otherwise. I understand your parents expect you to do these things but you aren’t a maid or their slave. If they expect it then tell them you want to be compensated for it. \n\nBut in general OP it sounds like you need to move out if you can. Your whole family seems lazy and toxic af. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m immunosuppressed, and my wife is in the hospital for a few days. I’ve been texting her but we decided it was better if I didn’t go in to see her to limit my exposure chances to covid. I’ve been texting her, but I drew her a picture that I wanted to send and I wrote a note to go along with it. My sister works as a nurse at the hospital, so I asked her if she could take it in for her when she gets a chance.\n\nShe took it in yesterday, and then she texted me that what I wrote was sweet and that the drawing was good. I asked how she knew and she said she opened the envelope to look at it before giving it to my wife. I got annoyed and said that she shouldn’t have opened it, and that I didn’t tell her that she could open it, and I also didn’t tell her what I wrote so it could have been something private. It happened not to be, but it’s the principle of the thing.\n\nShe said that I’m over reacting and it’s not a big deal. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister shouldn’t have opened it. It doesn’t matter if it was private or not - you don’t open other people’s mail, even if you’re the mailman, even if the mail is for family. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits. \n\nMy sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason. \n\nI finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.\n\nI could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister needs to wake up and get her life together if she wants her daughter back. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, this is on discord. I’m 18 and my little sister is 12. I recently came upon a server that she’s in, and found out that she had been telling people she was 17. That really didn’t sit right with me, especially considering she was talking to a boy who was 18. They keep flirting and it’s making me worry about her safety, putting herself out there like that when she’s so young. I’ve been thinking about messaging the staff of the server quietly and also telling the boy, but I don’t want to make it a public matter. The reason I’m making this post is that I’m worried that I’ll damage her friendships with people and\/or my own relationship with her. I don’t know if this is the right course of action. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. your sister might not like you for it, but lying about her age (especially for someone as young as her) can be really dangerous. i think quietly telling the staff and the boy is your best bet. i’m sure that boy would feel incredibly uncomfortable finding out he was actually talking to a 12 year old. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy. \n\nLinda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this. \n\nLinda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play. \n\nLinda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”. \n\nWhen my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave. \n\nMy sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister knows Linda doesn't want this but is still pressuring everyone to do it? Big yikes. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi! Second time posting here.\n\nOkay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.\n\nMy sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following. \n\nA few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated. \n\nI've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)\n\nI feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister isn't respecting how you feel about the situation. I second contacting Facebook about getting it taken down. ######"}
{"prompt":"Thieving sister\n\nSo my sister (15) has been buying stuff off of our grandmas debit card. I told my mom multiple times to get my grandmas card number change because my sister has the information written down somewhere. She doesn’t change the card, and my sister buys $100 ring as a gift for her girlfriend, which she has shipped to our house. I grabbed the package and told my grandma I’d ship the ring back and get her her money back but my mom and dad just want to let my sister have the ring and pay her back over time... am I the asshole for being pissed at my parents for not taking action on this or am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is stealing from your grandma and no one is doing anything about it? Bring this up to your grandmother, and then you both should take this to the police. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences. \n\nAlthough I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is right it is just as much her house. If this was a discussion about whether he can come over, I would be on your sister’s side. In this case, her giving him a key gives him access to your home and things 24\/7 even when she’s not there. Giving someone a key should be a mutual decision between everyone that lives there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus. \n\nI said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish. \n\nI think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me. \n\nI feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is being a brat. Your dress, your decision. Tell her she can buy it from you if she wants it that much but otherwise I ay go for it. Nip that emotional blackmail right in the bud. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.\nI live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries\/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.\n\nWhen my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.\n\nMy dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is at far more risk and far more in need of a mask than your mom is. I would’ve done the same thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account as my Family knows my Main.\n\nMy sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled.\n\nI am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment. I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time.\n\nMy sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live. It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.\n\nWithout ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch. I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially.\n\nMy parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece. My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the Asshole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is an adult and it’s not your responsibility to assist them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep this short. \n\nSo my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along. \n\nMy sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor\/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister. \n\nThe breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still). \n\nI immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives\/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage. \n\nShe told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again. \n\nBoth my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in. \n\nAITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister is abusing him. She could have seriously injured him if had been hit in the head, and this is just in regards to a situation he told you about.\n\nBPD isn’t an excuse, nor is being pregnant; she needs to take responsibility for her actions and seek professional help.\n\nPhrase it to your parents like this: the main issue is that she’s having violent outbursts. If she doesn’t do something to control it now, who’s to say that something potentially way more serious will happen when she’s responsible for a baby?\n\nYour sister needs help, but not the kind your parents seem to want to give. ######"}
{"prompt":"    \n     I (19F) have two twin 3 year old sons that I gave birth to in highschool, two years before I met my fiancé. Their father (19M) is also heavily present in their life. For a little background, I am Sicilian and Greek, and their father is Korean. Safe to say, they look very not white. \n     My fiancé, however, looks very white. Curly blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes. \n     Whenever me and my fiancé go out with them, no one assumes that he is the father, which has never bothered me, my fiancé, their father, or my boys. Even now, as I am in the last few weeks of our first pregnancy together, we haven’t had any problems with our family. My fiancé and his parents are ecstatic for our baby girl, and so are my boys and their father. The only person it does bother is his older sister. \n     Three days ago, while we were setting up the nursery in our apartment, his sister began talking about how I was not fit to be a good mother, and all the “complications” that would come from her being raised by a “dirty white” \nmother and surrounded by “halfling brats”; along with how she wanted nothing to do with my sons lives, only our daughters because she needed “actual guidance”. \n     Of course, I went mental. I told her to get out of our apartment and how she could return her bridesmaids dress at her nearest convenience. \n     My husband says I went too hard on her, and how she is just overprotective of him. I explained that she was blatantly disrespectful to me and our sons, and how I wasn’t going to tolerate it. He attempted to compromise and told me I needed to apologize, even if I don’t forgive her. \n     AITA for refusing to apologize, or let her back in the wedding party? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister in law needs to know\/learn that racism is not ok, and you fiance should not excuse it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.\n\nLast week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).\n\nIt was all good till their \"night activities\" woke me up in the middle of the night. Her flat is large and out bedrooms are at the opposite ends of the hall. So that meant they were loud. \n\nI hoped it'd end soon, but they were in for a ride. I tried headphones with music, I didn't hear them, but couldn't sleep with loud music blasting. I didn't say anything as it was their first night and thought they'd tire each other out. \n\nWell, same thing next night. I was knackered the morning after, plus I learned the boyfriend would probably come around more than 3 times.\n\nAt the point I started to ponder getting back to my parents, as I have insomnia and it could mess my entire sleep schedule.\n\nI told my sister I forgot helping my friend with chemistry and my mum picked me up.\n\nShe couldn't wrap her head around and constantly asked me. She probably knew I was lying as we know each other well. She asked me if she had done something wrong, I told her no and we'd do the same thing next month (her boyfriend would be abroad), but she wasn't having it.\n\nEventually I told her, I couldn't sleep as I heard them shagging and she was shocked.\n\nShe even brough it up at our family dinner, which was super embarrassing, because I hadn't told my parents. And it looked like she was mad at me. My paretns didn't want dive in, but told her it'd be good if It could be arranged that I wouldn't sleep there when her bf did. \n\nShe got upset, calling me nosy and eventually left earlier. She's not replied to my messages or calls.\n\nAITA for telling her the reason? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister has no right to be mad at YOU. You're 13!! She should NOT be having loud sex whilst you're there (nor anyone!). ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.\n\nWe did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.\n\nWe wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it. \n\nDad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them. \n\nBoth of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it. \n\nShe never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.\n\nI was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone. \n\nMy sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.\n\nI’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.\n\nOn one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister has an outdated and frankly damaging view of things. My guess is that your daughter was totally okay with it because she was raised by parents who don't see any part of anatomy or biology as taboo or off-limits, and that is a very good, healthy thing which she will hopefully carry forward in her own future family (if she chooses to have one). No one should feel like there is anything gross or wrong or taboo about their body or that they can't discuss things with either\/both parents. I hope I've raised my sons to be dads like your husband is, and I hope they find partners like you who are open to them being involved. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me [19M] and my sister [19F] had some big problems a year ago. She started acting really creepy towards me. She walked in on me while I was showering a couple of times. Then one morning I woke up to her naked in my bed, spooning and humping me, while her hand was on my penis. Our parents refused to believe me for a while until she admitted to it. She got therapy and cut out the behavior. It was obviously very uncomfortable and traumatic for me. I had tried to move on from it as my sister was acting better.\n\n\nAnyway recently I caught my sister on my phone. After I got it back, I used my computer to see that she had sent and deleted pictures to herself from my phone. The pictures were nudes of myself. I was so shocked and upset that she would do something like that again after everything. \n\n\nI wanted to delete the pictures off her phone but she has a password. So I called her girlfriend (they have been together for 6 months) and asked if she knew. I broke down and explained everything. She was shocked obviously. I deleted the pictures. Her gf is the only person to believe me and truly support me about it actually.\n\n\nAnyway her gf broke up with her citing what I told her. My parents are furious at me for sharing this personal information with someone outside the family saying it could ruin my sister. They say I could destroy all the progress she has made. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister fucked up and you did her ex a solid by telling her information she needed to know if she was going to be in a relationship with her\n\nI’d recommend counselling, for everyone, and distancing yourself from your family would probably be for the best, if you can ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over.  I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents.  They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing.  But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores).  Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it.  As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine.  I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.  \n\nMy sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it.  I get called a \"stoner\" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.  \n\nAt dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like \"I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh?  You drug addicted loser\".  I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs.  (this is where I might be TA) I said \"Oh yeah?  At least I didn't do this\"  and then did the hand motions for snorting coke.  Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it.  She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.  \n\nApparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her.  She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister forget the rule about people in glasshouses throwing stones.\n\nShe played herself here. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy girlfriend and I were doing long distance, so we didn’t get to see each other often. When everything was shutting down both our employers made it so we could work online. We thought this would be a good opportunity to get some quality time with each other. So I went to stay with her.\n\nMy sister found out recently and has asked if she and her daughter can stay at my place for the time being. \n\nMy sister and her daughter currently live with our parents and our younger sibling. Our parents are a bit pushy and very strict about keeping things tidy. My sister says it wasn’t so bad before, but after being stuck at home with them they are driving her completely crazy because they are getting on her about her parenting (niece she a bit ill mannered for her age). So she needs some space away from them.\n\nMy mom has since confirmed they are not getting along right now.\n\nTo be honest though I just feel uncomfortable with them staying there without me. So many things could happen without me there. Especially with a little kid running around. I mean so many things could happen with me there too, but at least I would be there to quickly take care of anything that goes wrong. Not saying she definitely would, but she would be able also to go snooping through all my things and I don’t like the idea of that.\n\nWhen I told her it wouldn’t be possible she said I was being a dick and a sucky brother since I should have offered it two months ago when I left to live with my girlfriend in the first place and knew she didn’t get along with our parents. ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister doesn’t become magically entitled to your house just because she’s bickering with your mom. She needs to find her own place. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (16F) like to bake, I buy my own ingredients and make something every week or so. I share with my mom and sister (21F), and sometimes her friends if they're over. Its not like I can eat everything myself anyway. This happens every week ish, for the past year? Year and a half? For a while. \n\nSo I few days ago when I finished work (grocery store) I texted my sister to ask if there was any food, or if I needed to buy some. She told me there was food, so I went straight home. \n\nWhen I came home there was no food, there was meat in the freezer but no time to defrost, no bread, no eggs, not much. Couldn't order food, since it was past 9 pm. \n\nMy sister had ordered two pizzas, so I asked if I could have a few slices, I offered to pay for them. She refused, she wanted to eat them for lunch the next day. I offered to pay for the whole pizza, so she could order a fresh one tomorrow for lunch, she refused again. \n\nThis wouldn't have been an issue if she told me there was no food, I would have bought something on my way home. But she apperently didn't check. I ate some plain rice with salt, it wasn't too bad. But I'm still annoyed she's been eating my baking all this time, and couldn't spare two slices of pizza. I even offered to pay, she doesn't pay for the baking, even though she makes much more than I do. She's been acting a bit entitled with the baking already, getting annoyed when I didn't make something she wanted or enough for her to take to her friends, so this was extra annoying. \n\nSo the next time I baked something and she came to grab some I told her no. I don't want to share. She got annoyed and told me I could have some pizza (which had been in the fridge for 3 days) if it's *such* a big deal. I refused again, I don't get much joy from cooking for her anymore. \n\nMy mom thinks it's petty, but doesn't want to get involved. My sister has been huffy about it. But I don't feel like I have to share at this point. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister could easily have shared with you and seems to have a pretty entitled attitude for an adult who earns more than you. You don't owe her what you've put your time, effort and money into. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.\n\nMy sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine. \n\nToday my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.\n\nAfter dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.\n\nI told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister cannot live her life always avoiding triggers. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little bit of context; I (14M) live in NYC and have 2 siblings: my sister (23F) and my brother (8M).  We live in a brownstone where my parents have the biggest bedroom, I have the second largest, my brother has the third largest, and the other 2 bedrooms function as guest bedrooms.  My sister lives in a college dorm, and only spends breaks at home.\n\nSo until my sister went to college she lived in the second biggest bedroom (where I currently stay in), I stayed in the third largest (where my little brother currently lives in), etc.  However, once she went to college we all 'moved up a bedroom'' I guess, and now when she visits she usually stays in one of the guest bedrooms.  One thing to note is that my bedroom is quite a bit bigger than the guest room.\n\nUntil now there's never been a problem with that arrangement.  Recently though my sister had to come home due to current events, and it looks like she's going to stay until summer break ends.  In light of this she wants her old bedroom back.  \n\nMy parents agree with her, and say since she's \"older\" she should have more space, and I ought to be more understanding and whatnot.  \n\nI absolutely refuse.  All my stuff are in this room, I've stayed here for the past 5 years, and frankly, IDGAF that this was originally her bedroom.  However, my parents are basically making me, and in reality there's not much I can do about it.  So reddit, for my peace of mind, AITA for not wanting to give up my bedroom for my older sister? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister can stay in the damn guest room. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation.  Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared. \n\nI didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sister and ex husband are diseased worm ridden AH though. She should have thought about the consequences of her actions before spreading her legs for her sister's husband if she didn't want to feel abandoned. And that disgusting nematode ex husband is no better. As it stands now, she can shove her opinions where the sun don't shine. You're NTA. You've had awful taste in men so far but still NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister in law has a horrible habit of making impulsive decisions at the drop of a hat, usually requiring my wife to get her out of situations and pick up the pieces. \nShe also has a habit of adopting animals just because they look cute and giving them away as soon as they grow up, or prove too much to handle. \n\nRecently, somehow, someway, she managed to obtain a fox. A fox that's barely older than a baby.\n\nFoxes are illegal to own where we live, even with a permit, and she knows this. I don't know alot about foxes, but I do know that they are very high maintenance and hard to take care of, plus my sister in law has a tendency to neglect the animals, which often leads to call a regarding the welfare of the animals. \n\nI texted her shortly after I found about, saying that foxes were illegal to own, but to not let him out because he probably couldn't defend or hunt. She replied that she knew perfectly well what she was doing (spoiler alert! she didn't) and to mind my own business. \n\nI brought up animal control to my wife, but she flat out refused. She said that she'd never forgive me if I called them. \n\nBut I was concerned for the Fox and, in the end, called animals control, who took away the fox, gave my sister in law a fine (17,000) and now she's facing jail time. She's furious, and so is my wife, who is now refusing to talk to me, even though it's been a week since the whole ordeal. \n\nAn input? ######","completion":" NTA. Your SIL is an asshole and so is your wife for enabling her. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface my father passed away about 2 months ago. I was incredibly close with him, I moved states away from my mother to rebuild a relationship with him after their divorce. I went through all of high school living with him and lived a city away throughout college. He was my biggest supporter. So I (23M) am having to go through all the processes of insurance and retirement my father had set up in his name. He had 2 policies with one life insurance company that had me and my 2 siblings, so it was all split evenly between us 3. But he also had another where I was the sole beneficiary, as well as the sole beneficiary of his retirement. My siblings had never really been close to my dad. My sister hadn't spoken to him or seen since last June. My brother who is a habitual liar and kind of shitty person, only really saw him on occasions. And most times it was when he needed something. Thought out my childhood they were never present they had both ran away numerous times. Sometimes we wouldnt see them for a year or more. But my dad always helped even if it costed him loads of money. This is where my dilemma comes into play. My mom is telling me that my dad left the rest of it in my name for a reason, and not to go against his wishes by giving them any. Would I be an asshole if I didn't? ######","completion":" NTA. Your siblings will probably disagree (of course) but you earned that with your extra care and love you showed him. If the cats not already out of the bag I’d keep quiet about the extra inheritance you received just to save drama. But if they already know just stand your ground, as an adult you made the effort to respect your father, they did not. Your mom supports that as well despite any guilt you may feel, he did give it to YOU as a reason.\n\nAnd also, I am sorry for your loss. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is special needs and autistic (I'll call her Rose) and I love her dearly and do everything I can to help her while I still live at home. My sister is pretty well-functioning but not enough to be on her own because she'll never remember to eat, drink fluids, chores or any basic hygiene she may need. Now my mother always told me that she never wanted her in a home or group home if something were to happen to her. My sister's dad wants nothing to do with her on account of her disability. We're all still pretty young now and I don't have to worry about this for awhile because our mom is still young but if something we're to happen to her she has it in her will for me to take care of the rest of my siblings and to make their choices until they are of age. My other sibling's dads could take them in but for Rose her dad doesn't want her and he'll only take in my brother and my younger sister has her dad. If the time comes when we are older I don't know what to do for her. My boyfriend and I have talked and said he'll be fine if she lived with us for awhile but I'm scared something will happen to her because I don't have the time to attend to her health like I do now. So AITA for being not wanting to take her in when I'm older because I can't give her what she may need? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sibling is not property, she can’t be willed to someone. \n\nYou didn’t say how old you are, but at some point you will need to have a frank, adult conversation with your mother about accessing resources to care for your sister as you cannot and should not be expected to take on that responsibility in lieu of living your own life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sibling has a small dog that they want to register an an emotional support animal (ESA) by using this website that states it is a legitimate site for registering your pet as an ESA. I had made a comment saying that if they wanted to do that, they needed to do it properly and get approval from a therapist as most websites like that are total scams and just end up with people printing off a piece of paper to ‘certify’ they have an ESA. \n\nThey got upset and continued to argue it was a legitimate website. I then asked why they wanted the certification as I hadn’t known they were struggling with any mental health issues (I was genuinely curious). Here’s where I got mad. They said they only want the dog certified so it can fly on planes without being in a cage!!! \n\nAs someone who has a mental illness and is in therapy for it and struggles everyday, I found that offensive in a way. They were abusing a system created to help those with legit illnesses just so their dog could fly in their lap. I told them that wasn’t a smart idea and it took away from legitimate ESAs and just perpetuated the problem of falsified ESAs and service dogs. They got upset and said it was fine because everyone else does it and they don’t want the dog to be in a carrier for hours on a flight. I continued to explain why that wasn’t smart and was bad for the people who really need these type of certifications. My parent stepped in and agreed with my sibling as well saying that they weren’t directly harming anyone. I just left the conversation and it hasn’t been brought up since but I know they still plan on doing that anyways. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sibling is abusing the system. My mother in law is blind. People like your sibling make things more difficult for people who actually need to have a dog with them for legitimate purposes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent\/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your sexual activities aren’t the business of your mother. You get to decide what information you share in regards to your relationships and what you do with your own body. The fact that she came into your room while you were engaged in a therapy session shows a total lack of respect for your privacy. ######"}
{"prompt":"First post on this sub, basically, I was set a 1500 word essay by school amidst the lockdown, a task set to me. We'll call dad P. P got sent the email (aswell as me) so as to make sure that the assignment got through to me. P asks what project I am doing, and I tried to explain that I wanted to make all choices myself, as I wanted to write about male mental health, a very personal issue to me, and a problem in my school. I finished my essay, and I am very proud of it, and ready to submit. P is now insisting that I show him my work before submitting, and when I asked why, he replied that he is a key role in my life and helps me all through school. P has not been supportive of me, and has rarely made the effort to help when I needed it. In my essay I criticised the lack of parental and school support for men with mental health issues, and I know this isn't a worldwide case, just in my area etc, I did not name specifics I just knew if he was to see it he would get angry, and force me to change it. He is now threatening to not let me go to the school that I chose, it's a free school, so no expense to him, but he said that due to my awful attitude of not showing him my work, he wants me to go to a school which is closer by, and more tightly run. P has said that if I dont show him my work, he will not hesitate to start punishing me. AITA for not sharing?\n\nTL;DR not showing my dad my personal work, dad threatens with all sort of punishment ######","completion":" NTA. Your school work is your business. He has no right to DEMAND to see it ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) was on the phone with my grandma and she was telling me how she has a weasel\/ferret animal holed up in her stable, and she needs to call an exterminator. \n\nShe lives in a different country and we were speaking a different language. The world for the animal doesn’t have a direct translation, but it sounds like “co*n”.\n\nI asked her,(not in English) “So when do you think the extermination will come for the *koona*” (that’s roughly how the word is pronounced. \n\nI was in my room but I went out to the kitchen to make tea when I said that sentenced. My English speaking roommate looked at me funny but I didn’t think much of it. \n\nI went back out and she said, “You shouldn’t say slurs like that. It’s not your word to say and I thought you knew better.” \n\nI look at her, still very lost. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t even speaking English, you don’t even know what I said.”\n\nShe explained what she thought I said, and told me it’s very insensitive that I throw that word around. \n\nSo I tell her, “I didn’t say that word. What I said was weasel. Why would I randomly switch to English and say a racial slur to my grandma?” \n\nShe doesn’t let up, and proceeds to call me insensitive and that I need to learn to be more politically correct. \n\nI tell her, “Just because words sound similar, it doesn’t mean I said what you think. My word, which means weasel, also has a different ending. Can we drop this conversation?” \n\nShe doesn’t say anything else and we both went to our separate rooms. AITA for how I handled it? ######","completion":" NTA. Your roommate is an idiot trying to be woke. In English someone would have thought you meant calling an exterminator for a raccoon if you said coon after you explained yourself. Ignore your roommate. That’s utterly ridiculous she even made the assumption of what you were talking about in your language. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######","completion":" NTA. Your roommate is a real wank but you’d be shooting yourself in the foot by shutting the heat off. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time ever writing in!\nBackground:\nI rent a room in a house shared by 4 people. We’re all college students and didn’t know each other prior to renting(we each pay rent to the landlord separately.) I’ve lived here for a little over 2 years now and have definitely become friends with my roommates. Last year, one of them decided to get a cat. We were all fine with it and the landlord didn’t care, so she adopted a sweet little guy from the humane society. \nI’ve never been a huge cat-person, but sometimes I’d feed\/play with him if she wanted to leave for a few days. We all have a friendly relationship, but I wouldn’t say we’re close. Also relevant, I love plants and have quite a collection of beautiful house plants. When she got the cat, I moved them all to my room and make sure to keep my doors closed because some of them are toxic to animals. \n\nOn to the story:\nA few days ago, I went to work-I’m a receptionist at a medical office and am the only one in my house that still physically has to go to work every day. When I came home, the entire house was in a state of panic. One of my other roommates had gone into my room to borrow a pair of scissors and accidentally left my door open. At some point, the cat walked into my room, chewed on my pothos and got really sick. He was taken to the vet and is currently recovering and is doing just fine. \n\nMy roommate now wants to charge me for the vet bill because my plants made her cat sick. Although yes, I did know that they were toxic to animals, I’ve had some of these plants for years and wasn’t going to get rid of them because she wanted to bring a cat into our home. I told her that it’s unreasonable to blame me for HER pet going into MY room. I took precautions by always closing my door. \n\nI told her that if she wanted to blame anyone, it should be our other roommate who left the door open. \nNow she’s mad at me for ‘getting her cat sick’ and my roommate is mad at me for blaming them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your roommate got the cat knowing you already owned toxic house plants. You did the right thing and moved them into your room away from the cat. Is the cat is solely hers even though you all take part in playing\/minimal care? If so, she (because it is her cat) should split the bill with your other roommate who left the door open. If you were hoping to keep the peace, I'd offer to get a lock for the door but I would not pay that bill. Good luck! ######"}
{"prompt":" I’ll keep this short and simple. Me(29m) and ex(29f) have a 3 year old daughter. We split custody 60\/40 and I pay $1000 in child support. I've always worked remotely and I’m stable in my current job so it’s not likely that I’ll be laid off. I’ve always saved just encase though.  \n\nDue to current circumstances, My ex was laid off. She asked me if she can borrow someone money until everything dies down. I asked how much and she said $6000. I said no, that’s too much. We got into a fight about it. She said I’m an asshole for not helping the mother of my child during this “situation”. We’ve been fighting about this for the past week. Anyway it ended with me take custody of our daughter and her moving into her parents by the end of the month. AITA for not loaning her money? ######","completion":" NTA. Your responsibility is to your child not to your ex. And $6000 is clearly not just for the child. That’s excessive. If she needed money she should ask her parents or other people before she asks you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been paying for my netflix account for about 8 years. In that time, I've let my dad use my netflix account. I told my dad a couple months ago I was thinking about cancelling my netflix account since I havent used it in months. (Me and my S.O always watch netflix together and use his account). My dad said \"do what you gotta do\". I cancelled it and he texted me saying he wants to take over my account and change everything over to him. I told him he should just start his own Netflix account. Theres only a couple days left on my Netflix account, and I get an email stating the billing had been updated. I attempt to log in and it states my email is not associated with any account(he changed the email too). On one hand, I understand it's just a netflix account and he didnt want to lose everything he watched or his profile, but I also had a profile I didnt want to lose. It would be there if I ever started my account again which is my right since I've paid for it for 8 years. Also, I feel like its rude he did it when I asked him not to. I called Netflix and they said theres nothing they can do. So, AITA? \n\nTldr: cancelled Netflix account that I've been paying for. My dad asked to take over my account and I said no and he did anyway. \n\n(Sorry for formatting. On mobile) ######","completion":" NTA. your reasons are totally valid and your dad is a jerk for doing it after you specifically asked him not to. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, so I know his family decently well. My boyfriend's family is from NC. We live in NY, separate apartments. His grandpa (who also lived in NY) just passed away on Sunday. They planned a funeral for Friday in NY. I told them 3 of his siblings could stay here since I have a 2 bedroom and my boyfriend has a studio.\n\nAs of yesterday 6\/24, governor Cuomo started a mandatory quarentine for people coming from NC, among other states. This brought to my attention how had NC is with covid right now. They live in a city in NC, so it's not like they're exactly safe. Their city has twice as many new cases everyday as New York city. All of New York city has less new cases per day.\n\nIf they get caught being here from NC, they could be fined $2000. I think it is wrong of them to think they're the exception to this rule. This rule is in place so more people don't die or get very sick. I told them I had to reconsider housing them. \n\nThey planned this funeral before Cuomo put the order in place. Their other family is coming from Miami (another covid hot spot).\n\nAm I the asshole for changing my mind because I learned how bad covid is where they live? ######","completion":" NTA. Your reasons are perfectly understandable.\nIf anything it's selfish of them to expect you to go through with it. Your well being is at risk. Financially and healt wise. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage\/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.\n\nMy friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates. \n\nThe problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.\n\nSofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your property, and it's for you to decide who you trust to take care of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her.\n\nMe: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable.\nMum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too\nMe: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone\nMum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that! \n\nso whaddya think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your privacy is important. If she doesn't respect it, then she can do better. Also, how old are you, and do you have some family member you can talk to about this? ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nToday when my sister in law came over (she's also our neighbour) her 10 year old son also came along and instantly started tellimg me about his tik tok account which has many followers.Initially, I was happy for him but then he asked me if he could download tik tok on my phone, so that i can like his videos. I told him that he can just send me his ID and I'll like his videos later since my phone might not have enough storage rn. He just forced me to download it and even started to seize it from me..since i didn't look forward to any kind of arguements or fights i told him I'll download the lite version. He agreed but my phone didn't have enough space for that either coz online school is going on and phone storage is full of notes, pdfs and stuff like that. I told him I'll download later and he started throwing a tanrtum demanding i delete some of my stuff rn i said everything i have on my phone is needed and nothing is unnecessary so i won't delete anything. He went through my gallery and started selecting my friends' pictures to delete them.. i was furious at this point coz i don't click much photos it's just a couple or three at special times. So i grabbed my phone and went in my room. My sister in law saw this and was furious at me for ruining her son's day. I told her I'll definitely like his tik toks later and i have some  assignments on my phone and I'll install tiktok as soon as I'm done with them..she was mad at me for lying about assignments and not giving importance to her son's wishes and went home without having lunch :( Am i the asshole for this?\n\n\n\n\nEdit - Thank you everyone for telling me I'm not the asshole. I was really frustrated about this since my sister in law also misbehaved with my mom when it wasn't even her fault. ######","completion":" NTA. Your phone, your business. You can say no just because you don’t want the app. conversation done. \nThey sound entitled ######"}
{"prompt":"I am just wondering if this was wrong for me to say. I’m on letrazol and I have endometriosis, the letrazol forces me to ovulate and is giving me some nasty side effects. To avoid being on it as long as possible, I asked if my partner to avoid masturbating and instead just hold out for our sex every second day. He got angry at me and said that evidence proves that masturbating doesn’t affect fertility. he has extremely low sperm count as it stands so I wanted to have th best chance possible with both of our issues. I said to him that we probably can’t consider these studies credible as we both have fertility issues so our situation is different. He told me that I don’t care about how he feels and that I only care about getting pregnant. I’m usually extremely understanding with him but I don’t understand how I can understand how he feels if there’s nothing that’s affecting him? I’m just confused and really lost, if I’m wrong in this please tell me. ######","completion":" NTA. Your partner very much sounds like someone that doesn't actually want a child. And even if they do, they also plan to let you shoulder the majority of the load when a child comes along. They're already letting you take on too much of the load right now by making you plead with them not to masturbate when anyone with some sense would know it's a bad idea. I feel like you should very seriously consider having a child with this person. Dealing with this level of selfishness while tending to a child will breed a lot more resentment that may lead to a break up. Having that break up post having a child will make everything harder. \n\nI'm sorry because I feel like the severity of my comment isn't what you came here for but just thinking about how your partner is acting here paints a very clear picture of his behavior once a child is around. One that I would hate for you to ignore. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them \"I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like \"I have plans with friends,\" or \"I need to do my homework,\" but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied \"You shouldn't have.\", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents were abusive. They neglected you and your siblings and then forced you to step in as a surrogate parent for your siblings. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents always think im a careless person like sometimes i forgot bring my wallet, forget where i place my key. They always remind me anything , always lock the door before going out, and i never forget to lock the door so why always remind me of that. sometimes people forget, its normal i think. They almost regulate everything in my life including my daughter, for example my daughter (Chloe) throwing tantrum dont want to take a bath, and i just want to trick her to take a bath with my way and it may take some time to beg her to take a bath. Not with my mom, she want my daughter immediately take a bath like forcing her , and chloe will cry out loud. I prefer to beg her to take a bath than to calm her down when she cry. So im moving to new house with my wife after 3 years living with my parents. they ask me to install CCTV in my house considering me and my wife are working so the house can be monitored online. The problem is my parents want to have access on my CCTV too. They said to prevent me from being careless like forget to turn off the gas stove or leaving it while cooking something and help monitoring my house. I feel like i dont have my privacy if they can monitoring my house everytime. so i lied to them that it can only monitored by one phone, so since i already added it to my phone, i cant set it to another phone. AITA here? ######","completion":" Nta. Your parents sound like control freaks. But you shouldn't beg your daughter to to anything. If there are rules or regulations she has to follow them. You are her \"boss\" not the other way around. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer. \n\nMy mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back.\n\nNow, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister. \n\nShe has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad. \n\nI kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents shouldn’t have said the computer was for you if they’re just going to give it to your sister. Also, no offence to your sister but she’s 23. She can earn money and buy herself a computer. If you were to try and earn money to buy a computer then it would take you much longer because 16 year olds are paid far less for the same amount of work as people over 18 ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f\/20) am planning to move together with a friend (same age) of mine next summer, once I have graduated.\n\nMy parents do know this said friend, as we know each other since high school. At first, my parents once I confronted them about my plans, didn't say anything and were actually even happy that I won't live lonely on my own. \n\nLater this day, my mom (with who I don't have a really good relationship, see my last post) came to me and asked me to stay with them until I turn 23. Her reasoning behind it is, that I have to pay them money (approx. About 500€, as they won't get child support from me anymore) so they're able to live themselves as they're in big debt. I'm already \"used\" to the fact that I have to pay them some money, as I already pay about 150€ each month to them.\n\nI have no interest in staying any longer in my parents house as I have to, for the sake of my mental health. On the other hand, as I wouldn't live with them anymore, I wouldn't see a point of paying them money, that I have earned.\n\nAm I thinking selfish or is my mom just trying to find a reason for me to stay? ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents need to start figuring out a way to get themselves out of debt that doesn’t include you. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up my mom was big in to charity work (not donating money but giving things to people who they thought needed it), it might sound like a good thing but a lot of the times it was taking something from me (yes most of it was given to me by her but they didn’t limit it to things purchased by her) giving it to someone who they felt needed it more eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more.\n\nThis has eaten at me over the years and has completely put me off any kind of human philanthropy, I do a lot of work for animals ( I prefer being around animals than humans if that helps)\n\nRecently There’s been pressure for me to be more generous and do more charity work for people that need it (given that there’s a pandemic) and I’m getting shit for choosing to donate to animals instead \n\nAnd ofc if someone who I know and like is having a hard time I do reach out and try to help wherever possible but am not into giving away shit to random people \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents didn’t quite hit the mark in helping you develop charitable approach they hoped for. By taking your things, they made acts of charity something that created resentment and possibly guilt. Instead they should have focused on creating charitable experiences that create human connection or a sense of purpose. Thank you for your work with animals and I hope you are able to find other positive charitable experiences as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI (17f) get uncomfortable around my father often as he is very touchy and (in my opinion) often inappropriate. He will often playfully smack my butt if he is walking by me in the house, put his hand on my hip or butt if we are taking a picture, or pat my butt if we are hugging. He also implies that I am sexually involved with all of my male friends. \n\nI’ve outright said to him that this makes me uncomfortable months ago but he is unrelenting with being touchy so now I just push his hand away or avoid him in the house. \nNow that we are all stuck at home, it’s difficult to avoid him and if I push his hands away or move when he’s close to me he becomes upset, leaves the room and will either not speak to anyone or be rude to other members of the household. \n\nThe very few times I’ve had friends over he’s implied that I am trying to have sex with all of my male friends and it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. \n\nMy mother knows he makes me uncomfortable but thinks it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get upset and thinks I should put up with it. His presence has made me increasingly anxious and upset for about 4 years and now it’s exacerbated by the current situation. \n\nSo, AITA for not wanting to be around him when he makes me uncomfortable as it upsets him?\n\nEDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice. I’m really happy to know that I’m not overreacting. I will try to update soon enough if I can get in contact with someone I trust. ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents both suck. Your father for being a creepy asshole and your mother for making it your responsibility to accept his behavior. He has no right to touch you in anyway that makes you uncomfortable. Period. Please consider talking to a trusted adult about all of this. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me?\n\nI (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me.\n The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this. \nAITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents are very ignorant. They seem like they don't care about your emotions at all. They didn't even ask for your permission. Why don't they just let him move in with them?\nDon't let your brother move in. Keep your daughter safe from experiencing the same things you had to go through. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone I am very conflicted about this as everyone around me has called me TA and a bad sister. \n\nMy brother (16M) and I (18F) don’t get along. Although it is only a 2 year age gap we are polar opposites. \n\nI go to the top university in my country and am studying to become a doctor. I have been a pretty strong student my entire life and I’ve never done drugs before. \n\nMy brother on the other hand is barely passing any of his classes, has no ambitions in life, and is always high on some drug (usually weed). \n\nBecause of this my parents have made it very clear that when they pass, it will be up to me to take care of my brother. But the thing is I don’t want to. \n\nDon’t get me wrong, I love my brother but I don’t like him. He has no respect for me and he thinks it’s funny when I get upset. Some key examples are: he’ll call me a fat whore anytime I do something he doesn’t like, he’ll sneak into my room to steal my snacks and clothes, and most frustratingly, he knows my parents won’t do anything about it. \n\nWhen I told my parents I refused to take care of him they blew up. They called me selfish and told me with my future salary, taking care of him financially would be no issue. However, I stood my ground and simply told them if I’m the one going to school for 10+ years, I’ll decide how I want to spend my money. \n\nThis has now caused a rift in my family and my parents are now worried for my brother when they pass.\n\nTLDR: my younger brother is irresponsible and my partners want me to support him financially when they pass. \n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents are spoiling your brother instead of helping him get his shit together. Expecting you to do the same just because they can't be assed to send him to rehab or get him therapy is just lazy and selfish of them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before. \n\nSo both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time. \nI do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents are putting you in a impossible situation and it's not fair. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been diagnosed with S.I.H. my brain is nearly constantly inflamed and my veins are full up of blood or something else . either way , my brainstem is very inflamed and this causes me to hear things constantly, along with pain, feeling sick, hearing loss, fluid building up in my head , seizures, brain fog etc . \n\nmy parents have been treating me worse the sicker i get . \n\nwhen i tell them what my illness is , they ignore it , then a few days later repeatedly ask why i am the way i am, like they just dont get it.\n\nwhen i tell them im having a headache they say 'oh it's that computer you're on' - matter of factly, COMPLETELY ignoring my diagnosis when stabbing headaches are one of the core symptoms . \n\nwhen i explain my muscle seizures , they have mocked me by copying me when im having an episode and call me 'crazy' even though i cant help it . \n\nthey also keep yelling at me for talking loud which i cant help because my hearing is affected also . \n\ni also get insulted for being a 'lazy bastard' because i am bed bound 20 hours a day because im sleep deprived because the hearing things keep me up for hours on end , only after about five hours of lying down , do they fade enough to not make me really anxious and stressed. \n\nive also had them threaten to hit me because i forgot what bin to put something in . i tried to explain the memory loss and how a doctor says i have a type of dementia (which is a symptom of S.I.H when it is chronic) and i forget things. they gaslight me by saying 'well i forget things too, so how can i still feed myself?' and whatnot.\n\nWIBTA for actually raising my voice and getting assertive with my parents? ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents are horrible people, you need to try and get out of there. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my parents love movies like fast and furious and movies with lots of action and guns. (Die hard ect..)\nThey do occasionally pick a different movie but that’s incredibly rare and so it’s normally a die hard clone or a movie with some super buff guy shooting a gun.\n\nI’m not a huge fan of those types of movies and would rather watch something animated like a studio ghibli film (I’m going through the Netflix library atm) or something with a complex story or that is kinda strange.\n\nFor the past week they have been telling me to broaden my horizons and watch a movie with them and I’ve been saying no as I absolutely despise all the gun\/car heavy movies they pick. \nI hate the genre as a whole and so have just been watching things in my room.\n(This is a issue as my parents have a no food in room rule and so when I get hungry I have to stay out in the lounge)\nRecently we got in a fight about it as my parents are getting annoyed we are not hanging out as a family so I suggested I pick the movie, so I decided to put on a ghibli film.\nDad automatically said no and asked me to change it and Mum agreed.\n\nI then got kinda annoyed and in the heat of the moment called them hypocrites for telling me I need to broaden my horizons while not letting me pick a movie. And I told them I was sick of gun heavy movies. \n\nMy parents and me are now kinda on edge and I’m wondering if I actually fucked up and should apologise.\n\n(I’m 17) (female) ######","completion":" NTA. Your parents *are* hypocrites, and they don't like having to confront that. This is a prime example of \"do as I say, not as I do\". \n\n But in the spirit of making the quarantine tolerable for everyone OP, maybe you could suggest to them that you all try broadening your horizons together, and watch some well-reviewed films that are outside all of your comfort zones once in a while. Maybe you'll find some overlap, and movie nights can be more fun for all of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 19, sister in question is 9. I became paralyzed a couple of years ago and now rely on a wheelchair, it’s basically my legs. I’m completely non-ambulatory, meaning I can’t walk at all or anything and I rely on my wheelchair not only for basic movement but for a sense of independence. Just some perspective before starting. \n\nI started college last fall but currently I’m living with my parents due to the virus. For most of the day I’ll be in my chair but there’s not a ton to do so I’ve started taking more naps. During one of these naps, my younger sister decided she wanted to play with my wheelchair and took it out of my room. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper so I didn’t wake up, but around half an hour later when I did wake up and I saw it was gone I kind of freaked out and started yelling (not like horror movie screaming but using a raised voice so my family in other rooms could hear) to ask if someone took my chair. After a couple of minutes, my mom came in and told me my sister was playing with it because I wasn’t using it. I asked for it back, and told my mom that I don’t want my sister playing with it in the future. \n\nMy mom wasn’t happy with that, saying that it really wasn’t a problem because I was asleep anyways and that I’m being overdramatic. I responded by saying that I’m sure she wouldn’t want to wake up and see that her legs were missing, even if it was somehow temporary. She ended up saying that I can deal with it because ‘kids will be kids’ or find somewhere else to live. So I shut up because I don’t particularly want to be kicked out. Honestly I don’t really think I was overreacting, but her reaction to it makes me wonder if I was. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother’s behaviour is appalling. She should have talked with your sister. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 19, sister in question is 9. I became paralyzed a couple of years ago and now rely on a wheelchair, it’s basically my legs. I’m completely non-ambulatory, meaning I can’t walk at all or anything and I rely on my wheelchair not only for basic movement but for a sense of independence. Just some perspective before starting. \n\nI started college last fall but currently I’m living with my parents due to the virus. For most of the day I’ll be in my chair but there’s not a ton to do so I’ve started taking more naps. During one of these naps, my younger sister decided she wanted to play with my wheelchair and took it out of my room. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper so I didn’t wake up, but around half an hour later when I did wake up and I saw it was gone I kind of freaked out and started yelling (not like horror movie screaming but using a raised voice so my family in other rooms could hear) to ask if someone took my chair. After a couple of minutes, my mom came in and told me my sister was playing with it because I wasn’t using it. I asked for it back, and told my mom that I don’t want my sister playing with it in the future. \n\nMy mom wasn’t happy with that, saying that it really wasn’t a problem because I was asleep anyways and that I’m being overdramatic. I responded by saying that I’m sure she wouldn’t want to wake up and see that her legs were missing, even if it was somehow temporary. She ended up saying that I can deal with it because ‘kids will be kids’ or find somewhere else to live. So I shut up because I don’t particularly want to be kicked out. Honestly I don’t really think I was overreacting, but her reaction to it makes me wonder if I was. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother's reasoning does not make any sense at all. She's basically comparing your wheelchair to a toy which it isn't. It's something that you need in order to be able to get around and function. Would your mother feel the same if your sister either hurt herself or damaged the wheelchair while she was playing around with it? ######"}
{"prompt":"This was a good while ago but I just realized maybe I could confirm what I thought.\n\nMy Context: I wrote a story and it was one of the best I had written in a good long while. My mom loved it and wanted to post it to Facebook. I was excited, I love sharing my stories! So she posts it and then later I go on Facebook for the first time in a while to see my story with no credit. All of the comments are telling my mom how amazing of a writer she is. I wrote it, not her, it really hurt my feelings. It felt like she took credit for my work. So I told her she needs to credit me. She argued that she wanted genuine reactions without credit or context. But that's not how it came off. \nAlso during this time, she tried to get me to make a big piece of art for no money. I'm her family, I dont need money.\n\nHer context (to the best of my ability)(im still using I for myself and she for my mom): I wrote a good story, she wanted to share it. She wanted a genuine reaction so she posted it without credit but then I got mad. To her, it feels like I dont trust her. Do I really think she would take credit for my work? Why would I think that? She just doesn't get it. Even after I changed it to give myself credit, she was still offended because I \"accused\" her of stealing my work.\nAnd why should she have to pay for artwork I made, it's for a friend and a family member! Why do I demand to get paid?\n\nThe story context doesn't matter and the artwork was a T-shirt design for a retiring coworker (who I have never met). I didn't have the proper programs to draw what she wanted so that's why I raised the price even higher.\n\nI hope I gave enough context, if we need more I can come back and edit it. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother sounds like the student that always mooches off your homework. If I were you, I’d probably try and maybe report the post or something, or point out who the real writer was. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom is graduating from her PhD program. She’s been using a hand me down MacBook Air for over 5 years, and it’s basically falling apart at the seams. So as a surprise my bro and I got her a brand new MacBook Air.  \n\nMy mom has a lot more money than me. She can easily buy herself a laptop but she doesn’t like to spend her money. The laptop was a big expense for me but it was a special time in her life, she genuinely needed it and I knew she wouldn’t get it for herself, so I didn’t mind. \n\nEver since the laptop arrived she’s done nothing but complain about it. It’s too slow (but every time I check it it works fine). The first few days she refused to even open the box to unpack it. She’s been saying she would rather have the money instead and joking (partially) that she would use it for Botox. \n\nShe’s been saying she wants me to return it or buy it from her bc I don’t have a computer. I got fed up and asked if she was sure and she said yes excitedly  thinking she’d get the money. I told her nope. That I needed that money. I told her to go to my brother for his portion of the money if she wanted but I have more important uses for the money. \n\nI feel guilty because it is a gift and I feel If I could afford to I would just give her the money and brush it off. But I’m also hurt by her attitude. One time she was eating toast with the laptop on her lap and I told her to be careful to not get crumbs in the keyboard. Out of retaliation she purposely started breaking the bread apart over the computer. I’m willing to go out of my way for a need she genuinely has but I can’t afford to buy luxury items for her that she can easily shoulder the expense for. \n\nShe’s sulking at me now and said “you shouldn’t force things on me I don’t want.”\n\nAm I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother sounds like a spoiled child, not like a grown woman. ######"}
{"prompt":"So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...\n\nSo the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.\n\nFast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?\n\nAITA? \n\nTLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother seems extremely dramatic to cry over you not caring that her friend got called a fat cow. Your mother is also a HUGE AH, for completely dismissing your worry for your friend and saying she doesn't care. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17f) have a variety of socks. They range from the regular knee high patterned ones, to knit socks, to old fashioned lace ones. I don’t collect them or anything, I just like having different kinds of socks. I live with my dad (56m), and he knows that I buy socks fairly regularly. He doesn’t have an issue with it.\n\nSince the world went to shit, I’ve been stuck at my mom’s (52f). The other day, I was on amazon, and I got recommended these really nice looking socks, with little stars sewn on them, and lace along the top. I ordered them (with my own money) and they got here yesterday. \n\nMy mom found the box, and opened it before I even knew it arrived. She found them, and then came into my room and started screaming at me. She told me that I shouldn’t be buying stuff to wear during sex or something, and I was confused. Apparently the socks were actually stockings, which isn’t sexual in any way in my opinion, but my mom thought otherwise. \n\nShe told me I was being a slut for buying these things, and told me that she was going to look for any more “slutty clothing”, and proceeded to go through my clothes, throwing anything she deemed sexual out. This resulted in most of my clothing. \n\nMy crop tops, shorts, socks with any sort of lace on them, and underwear that wasn’t boy cut got thrown out, leaving me with very little clothing left. I called my dad and told him about it, Mom overheard and told me it was my fault for buying “sexy socks.”\n\nAITA for buying “sexy socks”? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother is ridiculous. First of all, she has no right to throw out your property. Second of all, to call your own daughter a slut is abhorrent. I hope your father has your back. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nsorry if formatting is weird \n\n\n\nSo my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant.\n\nAt that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. \n\nHow we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. \n\n\nI showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well.\n\nWe confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. \n\n\nA few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. \n\nAs for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime.\n\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother is guilty of statutory rape, you did exactly the right thing by turning her in\n\nIt’s understandable you’re going to have difficulty bonding with your brother given the circumstances, and it sounds like your still reasonably young yourself. Remember though, the circumstances of your brother’s birth are not his fault. Think how difficult life is going to be for him growing up given what happened with his parents. Maybe when you both grow up you won’t be close, siblings don’t have to be. But there’s an opportunity to form a relationship here and you need to judge your brother for who he is and what he does, not what your mother is and has done ######"}
{"prompt":"Last Thanksgiving, my mom (53F) and I (24F) got into a fight about how my aunt treats me and my younger cousin who is transgender (13M).  Side note: my mom adopted my little cousin several years ago, and he came out as transgender last year.  He prefers to be referred to as male, which I will do in this post.  \n\nMy aunt is homophobic, and she has ostracized me from our family for over a decade for being a lesbian, so my mom asks me to tone down my lesbianism when we visit by not talking about girls, who I date, or anything pertaining to the LGBT community.  I have accepted this and typically do so to keep her happy.  My mom is a peacemaker and does not like to fight or upset anyone, and she thinks I should respect my Aunt and keep this to myself.  Last Thanksgiving, I felt my mom crossed a line because she told my cousin that he had to go by his dead name at my Aunt’s and by female pronouns.  This obviously made him really uncomfortable.  It was also not easy for me to do, as I didn’t want to upset him and found it difficult to revert back to his dead name and opposite pronouns suddenly after calling him the other name for months.  My mom refused to allow my cousin to tell anyone that he was transgender because “kids would be there” and that he would be grounded if he told anyone.  She was angry at me for continuing to call him by his chosen name because I refused to switch back.  I was super pissed on his behalf because I feel his coming out should be his decision, and that my mother should stand up for us more at holidays to my aunt.  \n\nWIBTA if I refuse to hide my lesbianism to placate my aunt, as well as insist she treat my younger cousin with respect to his pronouns and chosen name?  I understand that my mother doesn’t want to upset her sister, but as both a straight and cisgender woman I don’t believe she understands where my cousin and I are coming from and why we want the freedom to express ourselves freely when visiting family. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother is asking your cousin to purposefully dehumanize himself. Being trans and being gay is nothing shameful, and shouldn’t be hidden because “there are kids around”. News flash. Some kids are gay, and some kids are trans. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f,21) have been buying icecream from our local icecream shop since the corona crisis forced it shut. They now deliver. I love their icecream and I want to support local buisinesses now as much as possible, which is why I buy from them as opposed to the supermarket. \n\nTheir icecream is however really expensive. I can get one 150 ml cup for the same price as I could get a liter bin of icecream in the supermarket. Even Ben en Jerry’s is about half as expensive as this icecream. I pay about $30 for 1500 ml (But it has super intense and very experimental flavours, great quality).\n\nNow that I ordered their icecream (I order 10 small cups once per two weeks) my mom has been asking me for a cup, which is fine by me. A second one, also fine. But yesterday she asked for her fourth cup and I said no. She has been acting like i refused her love or something, but i simply don’t want to give away all my (expensive) icecream. I look forward to it, and even though I don’t mind sharing some of it, I do want most. \n\nI also ask her everytime I order if she wants some for her and my dad too. She always says no. (And then asks for mine).\n\nI feel really bad now because she makes a big deal out of it, and it’s just icecream. But then again, I asked her if she wanted any and she said no. I feel entitled to my icecream. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mother is a grown woman. Why can't she go buy her own ice cream? ######"}
{"prompt":"I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house \"what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?\" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.\n\n I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying \"the experiment was over\" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated \"I'm 18\" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom was a volunteer firefighter but cant come up with a solution to get through a locked door in the event of a fire? ######"}
{"prompt":"Gday all\n\nI’m 21, just turned 21 a week ago or something. I’m also Australian where being 21 means sweet fuck all, whereas I know in the US it’s a big deal. Over here when we turn 18 that’s like your 21. Anyway. \n\nDespite being 21, my mother still likes to tell me when I get home from work (full time, 8-14 hour days, tradesman so manual labour) to go have a shower, she’ll still tell me to brush my hair, brush my teeth all that very basic stuff. \n\nI’ve often said rather nicely she doesn’t need to tell me these things. I’m 21, I can manage my own life quite easily, and I will do these things at my own discretion at the times I please. \n\nLast night she said it again, I had got out of the shower, got changed and was walking to my room, where my hairbrush lives. On the way there she said “go brush your hair”. Which was exactly what I was going to do anyway. \n\nI considered this the last straw, I had a proper word with her about the fact that I’m 21 now, she NEEDS to stop this, and it’s no longer a joke. I NEED to be able to grow up myself, and she doesn’t need to continuously say for me to do very basic things like I’m 10 years old. \n\nThis resulted in a massive argument. I ended up walking away, I’m not one to argue if it’s going nowhere, and then I drove to a mates place.\n\nWas I the asshole for finally putting my foot down and sternly saying what I thought needed to happen? \n\nCheers! ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom sounds very very annoying. She can't accept that you aren't a child anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate.\n\nA bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me. \n\nAnyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It.\n\nGetting my ears pierced was also a \"rite of passage\" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced. \n\nI sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for \"going behind her back\" to do a \"feminine rite of passage\" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand. \n\nMaybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom sounds like she needs to find other ways to fulfill her life. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got an IUD in August and told my mom I was getting it, she paid because i’m her daughter and she wanted to. \nFast forward to October and my mom calls me at college and says she has a funny story. Mind you, we both tend to joke about my dad because he’s a character and they’re divorced. She says that my dad found out about the IUD because he saw paperwork that i had in my car that he was cleaning out while i was away. HE WAS FURIOUS. He called me mom and yelled at her over the phone about how i have an IUD and my mom was like “oh yeah i knew about that” and then my dad proceeded to yell at her for not telling him and she was like “she’s 18 and it’s not my place to tell you about her reproductive choices.” My dad is acting as if I needed his permission for this. I didn’t even need to tell my mom in the first place, but i chose to because we’re close like that. Anyways, this was a while ago but it still sits weird with me. He has no say in the matter. I don’t like that my dad felt obligated to know about this personal aspect of my life especially because he’s otherwise a very progressive, liberal man so it doesn’t really make sense as to why he’s trying to police my goddamn uterus. Idk thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom is right, you’re 18 and it’s your body, so it’s your choice. You didn’t have to ask permission from anybody, including your dad, or even talk about it if you didn’t feel comfortable with it. Besides, he’s a guy. What reason could he reasonably give for preventing you from getting an IUD if you’ve already talked it through with your mother and decided that’s what you wished? ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc. \n\nNow here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting\/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine. \n\nToday, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes. \n\nSo, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom is insulting you and your siblings and doing a disservice to your sister by equating \"failure to immediately text\" with \"does  not care about medical issues.\" Start a private text message chain with your ill sister to let her know how much you care.  Next time your mom criticizes you, you can say \"she and I have spoken privately about it\" and your mom won't be able to weigh in or complain because she'll have no knowledge of the timing and content of your messages. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.\n\nWhen lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.\n\nI thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long. \n\nI'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom is insecure. If you guys say you love each other all the time, that means you have a strong relationship. Don’t stop saying it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Was I in the wrong doing this?\n\nI(M18) was taking my brother (M16) to Target to get some things he needed\/wanted, we get into the parking lot and as we are getting in, this car comes in next to us, and by the time I finish parking, a group of 5-6 girls our age comes out. \n\nAs I was getting ready to get out of the car, I look at my brother next to me to tell him to put his mask on, and I see he’s looking at the girls wide eyed and mouth open. \n\nI’m tell him “dude, what are you doing? stop that, it’s disrespectful”. \n\nHe says “disrespectful to who?”. \n\nI tell him “to your girlfriend and to those girls” \n\nHe says “no it’s not” and he continues doing the same thing\n\nAt this point I turn the car back on and pull back out of the parking spot, to go park on the other side of the parking lot.\n\n As I am on the way to the other side he says “what are you doing?” \n\nI didn’t reply and when I parked again he says “what did you do that for?” \n\nI just tell him “I told you what you were doing is disrespectful”\n\nHe said “it’s none of your business and now we have to walk way more” \n\nWe went into the store and everyone was normal until we get back home\n\nHe told my mom for some reason and she took his side she said a bunch of stuff but in summary it was “what your brother is doing is normal, if he wants to look at a lot of girls to figure out what he likes, then he can. If you’re gay, stop trying to make him gay too, and if you’re hurt you’ve never had a girlfriend then get one” \n\nShe then took my phone for 3 days, she just now gave it back to me. She took it for so long because I wouldn’t admit what I did was wrong, I finally did admit it just to get it back but I’m still not so sure\n\nI am starting to be convinced what I did was wrong but I need more opinions lmaoo ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom is enabling his behaviour that honestly would make me super uncomfortable as a woman. If I’m going to Target with my friends, we’re going shopping not to get creeped on. Honestly, I think it was a very kind and considerate thing of you to do. I hate when I pull up somewhere and have some creep staring at me. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house\/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom has to learn to let you grow up and leave the nest. Giving her the access that a tracker has on your life will mean she will forever hover and give unsolicited opinions about how you live your life. You’re an adult and when you move out it really isn’t her business where you are and what you’re doing day to day. Stand up for yourself this is definitely a hill to die on. It’s about privacy and basic boundaries and if you don’t enforce them now you’ll have much more trouble doing it later. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers? \n\nSo this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing as anorexia exists and that teenagers do such things for attention seeking. \n\nI, a generally calm person was appalled at the ignorance of my own mother. \n\nI explained that just bcoz she did not suffer from this disorder or had a smooth sailing as a teen did not mean that everyone did. I even told her that when she was free she could check out about such things. \n\nThen she began to say that how in this generation only such things came up because they were so disrespectful and hanging out with wrong crowd and coupled with social media they were bound to have such problems. \n\nI then told her that Anorexia Nervosa was an old problem and that teens during her time also suffered from it. \n\nLong story short she did believe me and we got into an argument. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for pointing out my mom's ignorance during the argument? \nShould I have kept my cool and explained her calmly about the issue and why it is important? \n\nP. S. I am sorry for any grammatical mistakes which I may have made. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom has to be blind. Anorexia has been around for a very long time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...\n\nSo the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.\n\nFast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?\n\nAITA? \n\nTLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom has some serious issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom has some pretty outdated views. Ignore her and just enjoy being with your GF. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a \"violation\" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old \"My house, My rules\" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she \"gives\" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the \"AITA\" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \\~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our \"promise\", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom has an eating disorder and is instilling it in her family. This is some weird shit. Move out when you can. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nMy mom cheated on my dad and went and married  her friend who is single.  I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job. \n\nI live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I  have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is  doing. \n\nI  also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and  helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom.\n\nAnyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is  25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account.\n\nI told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child.\n\nShe emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially   and blocked her on ,y work  email.\n\nI saw my mom on  face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and  how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as  I feel a little bit bad  she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom cheated, the gender of the person she cheated with is irrelevant. Furthermore, holding her duty as a parent (to feed  you and put a rood over your head) is a toxic thing to do. It honestly sounds like your mother wrecked her relationship with you a long time ago and that's on her as the parent. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 6, my mom hand picked out a dresser and bed frame and says that she “won’t let me” sell it. I am 26 (F) and have been living with my parents for the last few years to pay off my student debt- I am now mostly paid off and want to get back to having my own place, as at my age, that is of course what I prefer. \nI keep telling her that it is large and impractical (the apartments I’m looking at have even smaller bedrooms than our current one, in which the furniture is already too large- I’ve been getting bruises from running into the bed frame in the middle of the night for years). Plus, i need any extra space to set up a desk, as another reason for my needing to move is due to my job offering me the option to work from home.\nI feel like I definitely owe my parents for letting me stay- it’s something they really did not have to do. However my dad pays all the bills and my parents aren’t even actually together anymore. If anything I feel I should let my dad decide what he wants to do with the furniture- or rather what he wants me to do wit it. I feel like this is the silliest situation ever. \nAITA for refusing to take it or refusing to pay for a storage unit for the furniture? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mom bought furniture. Not you. Don't take it. She can store it or sell it or use it herself. The emotional attachment here is hers, not yours. Let her care for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.\n\nAs much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a \"life coach and weight loss\" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.\n\nI write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule\/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings\/ incur their wrath and judgement.\n\nWIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mental health status is not something they are entitled to be notified of - especially when they've made it clear that honest discussions about the same are not going to be entertained in good faith. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.\n\nPre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental &amp; developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.\n\n———\n\nDue to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.\n\nHer mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay. \n\nYesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.\n\nWhen I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.\n\nI ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about\/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired. \n\nI left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Your mental health is just as valid, you should be able to get support from them as well. I have a chat with 3 friends, and the other night all of us had had pretty bad days, but we all talked it through with each other rather than focusing one just one person all night, and it’s easily doable. NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16f) have to take meds twice a day. I have “trained” my cat to remind me to take them by giving her a treat at the time I take my meds, and now she’ll start begging me for a treat at the time I take my meds, and it reminds me. My cat is not quiet when she reminds me. She’s rather loud, but not as loud as my sister’s dog, who barks into all hours of the night.\n\nMy sister (18f) keeps complaining that my cat keeps waking her up in the mornings with how loud she is. She keeps telling me to “shut the dumb cat up” and tells me that she’ll lock the cat outside next time she wakes her up. I told her she wasn’t going to do that, because the cat’s mine, first off, and second off, nobody complained about her dog. She got offended and tried starting a fight, while I just went straight to my parents.\n\nI told them that my sister was trying to put the cat out, and complaining about the noise of my cat while her dog is loud as hell and nobody says anything. My parents (dad specifically) got mad and had a talk with my sister, which was more of an argument. They told her that no, she would not be putting my cat out, and that if she did, she could go ahead and find another place to live.\n\nMy sister came to me and got mad at me for going to our parents, and called me a snitch. She also told me that I should just take my meds at a different time so the cat will shut up, and I told her that I couldn’t.I told her I wasn’t going to shut my cat up for her convenience. She called me an inconsiderate brat and stopped talking to me. She keeps trying to lock my cat in a closet, though.\n\nAITA for telling my sister I won’t shut up my cat? ######","completion":" NTA. Your meds are important for you to take and the system with the cat is great as the cat certainly won't forget treat time.\n\nYour sister is a hypocrite for complaining about your cat if her dog is really as loud as you say (and also barks at these times), and she'd suck big time too if she actually put your cat outside.\n\nNo worries, you were in the right. ######"}
{"prompt":"I moved to this flat a year ago, like most of the Londoners I rented a room in a house share. We don't have any living room which restricts me socialising as much as I desire. That is the main reason I wanted to move out initially.\n\nSince I moved here, I requested from landlord to change just the bath as it was rusty and you can't clean it as more you try to clean more rusty it gets. Couple of months ago he called me on a Sunday saying, he is refurbishing the toilet and the bathroom whole together. It was nice of him to do some investment in the flat which  let's his tenants to have humane environment. \n\nWhen the work done he decided to extend the job get the kitchen refurbished too and fit another room in the kitchen so that he can rent more rooms. \n\nIt was the last drop. I had been looking for flats for couple of months and just before the lock down I found a decent room which is smaller but have a living room and a small garden just 20 pounds more than I am paying now and since I got an increase on my wages I can afford it. And the house hold seems so friendly and nice people. I will be sharing with 2 more people whereas I would share with 4 more people if I stay. \n\nWhen I agreed with my new landlord, I gave a month notice to my landlord and he flipped out. He said he paid 10k for his house just because I have asked. He said it's not fair of me letting him down. He offered 50 pounds discount as well. He wanted me to extend my notice for 2 more weeks, luckily my new landlord was fine with it so I accepted to extend. I told him that I asked him to change the bath a year ago not to put another room in the kitchen. \n\nI understand him that he did all this investments and there is already an empty room in the house but I think I deserve to live where the heaven I want to live. \n\nAITA for letting down my landlord? ######","completion":" NTA. Your landlord did not do any of those things for you, he did them to increase the value of his home and enable it to give him a better profit. You two are in a business relationship, you have no obligation to his feelings. Do not stay somewhere you don't like because the landlord guilt trips you, always have your own interests first. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays. \n\nSometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights \"fend for yourself night\". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.\n\n I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######","completion":" NTA. Your kids will be better prepared in the future by having this system. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######","completion":" NTA. Your job is stressful enough by itself. You need sleep to function. Ask them and their parents if they could do it later as you need sleep more than anyone at the moment. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.\n\nI sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.\n\nI could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your insensitive friends is TA, and if it were me I'd cut ties with her if she didn't apologize. I'd also alert the management, because they obviously weren't paying attention when you ordered and could make someone else very sick too. ######"}
{"prompt":"Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled\/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. \n\nFast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know\/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL\/SIL are not available\/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. \n\nBecause of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. \n\nAITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######","completion":" NTA. Your in-laws are TA’s for saying you’re being difficult and unreasonable for wanting to celebrate your sons birthday. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.\n\nWe live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses\/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.\n\nWhen my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1\/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.\n\nLast week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.\n\nI mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.\n\nWe let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######","completion":" NTA. Your in-laws are being overbearing. You and your husband are old enough to live wherever you choose. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered. \n\nSo AITA for not being more hospitable? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband sucks for even letting him stay since he’s a wife beater, and apparently admittedly so... but I understand his want to help out family. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer.\n\nThis morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible. \n\nYesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1. \n\nThe coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways.\n\nI went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he  starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return. \n\nI apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband sounds paranoid and controlling ######"}
{"prompt":"I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband sounds like a bit of a prick to be honest. ######"}
{"prompt":"On mobile.\n\nI'm currently breastfeeding my month old daughter. I do it wherever I happen to be in the house but mainly in my chair in the living room. Before my daughter was even born, I had chats with my 6 year old son and almost 4 year old step daughter. I explained what breasts were, what they're for, why daughter would be sucking and eating from them, how it's natural and not shameful, and it isn't something for them to stare at and make a huge deal out of. I had to have several repeat conversations with step daughter because she would stare and seemed to make a big deal of it. I answered all questions she had and I thought all was well.\n\nToday my fiance came to me and told me I need to breastfeed in our bedroom only. I told him it wasn't happening. He then told me his daughter tried breastfeeding on her mother and her mom is now throwing a fit because I do it in front of her daughter. AITA if I refuse to breastfeed in the bedroom? It leaves the kids mostly to their own devices. They wouldn't have someone to talk to, feed them, play with them, supervise them, etc. ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband sounds immature, so does your step daughters mom, the girl is only 4 and all 4 year olds have a wild imagination or copy things they see, it’s normal and you breastfeeding is COMPLETELY natural, anyone who disagrees is ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.\n\nI am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.\n\nHusband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.\n\nI felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her,  especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\nEdit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.\n\nAlso I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband needs to step it up. He’s a father. He should know how to care for his kid. It’s not like it’s his first, either.\n\nWomen are expected to just know all this shit, and it’s never questioned that dad goes out and leaves the kids with mom. But reverse it? Suddenly it’s babysitting and mom needs to leave detailed instructions for dad. Nah. He had a part in making the kid, he needs to take his part in raising it. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband is very inappropriate and if his behavior doesnt change drastically it may be time to think about changing his title to (ex) husband. ######"}
{"prompt":"[Slyvy Bear](https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/69228620@N03\/49777975553\/in\/dateposted-public\/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.\n\nShe's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.\n\nMy husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.\n\nHubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband is though. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband is honestly coming across really passive aggressive. He knows you don't like chickpeas, and has gone out of his way to have a one sided fight with you about it. This also doesn't sound like the first time he's done something like this. Is there something bothering him where he feels the need to behave like a butt? ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my husband told me that he wasn’t feeling that great, his head hurt and his stomach was bothering him. I told him that’s fine, I’d handle the kids, he could rest. But the issue became that he chose to rest on the couch, in the living room. We don’t have a huge house. Our living room is where most of our kids’ toys are, their books, activities, etc. Our kitchen and living room are also open concept so you can see into one another. Keeping the kids cooped up in their rooms all day wasn’t easy so my husband could rest without being disturbed (and he did ask me to make sure they didn’t). But I did it, because it’s one day.\n\nThen this morning, I got up and went into the living room. He was already on the couch and watching TV. I asked how he was feeling and he said not much better, he was debating a doctor’s appointment for Monday. I said that’s fine but if he was going to spend another day laying down, it had to be in our room. We have a TV in there (albeit smaller), and it’s just easier for me to have more room for the kids to run around. He said that he was the sick one, why should he have to be in his room? I said for just that reason, if you’re sick, you should be in bed. I told him I’d still care for him in our room, but for our kids’ sakes, this was easier. He got mad at me, but went back to bed.\n\nAll throughout the day I got comments about how loud the kids were being and that he was trying to rest, and this is why he wanted them in their rooms. I tried to keep them as quiet as possible but they’re between the ages of 2-5. It’s not easy on top of everything else I had to do today (like clean the house, cook,etc.) When I dropped off his dinner, he told me I made him feel worse.\n\nAm I an asshole for what I did today? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband is being unreasonable and acting like an entitled child. Why should he get to commandeer the social areas of your home because he’s sick? \n\nYou’re right, he should sequester himself to the bedroom and stop acting like a child. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. \"Damn, I don't want to get up.\" So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and \"isn't a mind reader\" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.\n\nAm I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######","completion":" NTA. Your husband is an adult parent. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that when your partner is sick, you pick up some of the slack to let them rest and recover. That includes parenting your own dang child. You shouldn’t have to ask, he should know. I’m betting he DOES know, and he’s just using this awful excuse now that you’ve called him on it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse. \n\nMy parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much. \n\nWith the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home.\n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ######","completion":" NTA. Your House, Your Rules.\n\nAsk them to respect your boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm 20 and recently bought a house last July. I spent the next couple months renovating and moved in last December, into what was basically a brand new house. I had redone absolutely everything, most of it myself. Anyways, a couple months later in February my uncle came over, and I have no problem with him but I told him not to bring his child over, shes 6 and has a tendency to be way overactive and hyper and break things. I told him not to bring her over, yet he did anyways. Well she ended up ramming her dumbass little head straight through some drywall. She was okay because shes a child, but they left pretty soon after that. After I patched the drywall and painted the wall again I sent my uncle an invoice for the damage his child cost me, and he said it should be forgiven since it was a child who did it, not him. I told him his child is his responsibility until shes 18 and that means covering damages she causes, and that I dont want her over anymore until shes in her teens or at least much better behaved. He told me I was petty, but I dont think so. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. Your house your rules. I would expect money for the repairs too. Even though it was something small like a hole in the wall. What if she cloghed your toilet with something causing damage and burst pipes I would expect them to pay.. he should have been watching her and stopped it before it happened. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!\n\nI (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure. \n\nUnbeknownst to me, my friend said \"yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people\". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can \"trust\" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.\n\nSo they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your house so it’s your space. Don’t have to have people over who you don’t want to have in your space. Simple as that. ######"}
{"prompt":"for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable. \n\ni lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job. \n\nwith it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######","completion":" NTA. Your home your rules. \n\nHe can look the other way, buy you an extremely comfortable shirt or move out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.\n\nThis led to a lot of \"jokes\" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.\n\nAt one point, my husband's great uncle made a \"joke\" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.\n\nMy husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many \"jokes\" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######","completion":" NTA. Your great-aunt-in-law clearly had a sense of humor and understood how it felt to look so different in a light-skinned family. She had a witty comeback that simultaneously helped her great-nephew feel included and also the comment-maker feel like an ass. Good on her and on your for keeping her sharp wit alive.\n\n\nHowever, if your husband is uncomfortable with the joke, maybe just keep it between you and your son. ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.\n\nI was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24\/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your grandparents have to understand that if she comes to live with you guys then *they're* responsible for her care, *not* you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions\nMy grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well.\nRecently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”. \nI thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party. \nI’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your grandma cannot control her memory loss.\n\nI also think your friends and gf are insensitive. They may not have ever had to deal with an aging grandparent, so they may have no idea. But it’s really not an excuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.\n\nWhat she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of \"mini gang\" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just \"get over it\". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.\n\nI was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.\n\nI had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your girlfriend isn't a teenager anymore. She's well past the age where she should realize that shit isn't okay. I would have said everyone sucks here if she felt bad about who she used to be, and you didn't give her a chance. But it sounds like she has no remorse. In which case, yeah. She's the asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!\n\nAbout two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.\n\nRelationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.\n\nI decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.\n\nI am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.\n\nHave a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######","completion":" NTA. Your girlfriend is a racist. Break up with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time. \n\nWe have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly. \n\nHowever when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs\/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.\n\nMy reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.\n\nSo now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).\n\nSo I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.\n\nSo today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate. \n\nShe's now saying I can use \"our\" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your girlfriend changed her mind when her own rule came back on her slightly. ######"}
{"prompt":" My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, \"I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself.\" I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she \"needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her.\"\n\n The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me.\n\nApologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######","completion":" NTA. Your girlfriend acts like an AH when she’s drunk\/high. That’s not unusual, but it’s also not an excuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.\nI was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.\nFor my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player\/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.\nFor my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.\nIt ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded. \nDiscussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your gift was wrapped in shame and punishment. Sad. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag.\n\nI refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again. \n\nI thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much \"you have your beliefs and I have mine\" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life. \n\nI don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######","completion":" NTA. Your gf is being really overbearing and controlling. \n\nEven if you *did* support drag, it puts you under NO obligation to dress in drag. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently. \n\nBackground: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it. \n\nThough, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right. \n\nFed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke. \n\nTo cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most. \n\nAm I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######","completion":" NTA. Your friends seem to know what your boundaries are. Your family members not. \nThis post reminds me a lot about the guy messing with the deaf girl and making her bad about her deafness. \nIn example when someone is small, friends can maybe make joke if everything is well received. But to overlook someone consistently to mock him would be maybe similar hurtful. So your Family members are definitely TA. ######"}
{"prompt":"OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.\n\nSo I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.\n\nI never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.) \n\nMy friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.\n\nRed’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.\n\nSo, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######","completion":" NTA. Your friends in the other hand...\n\nThey're \"demanding\" entry? That's just plain rude.\n\nThey think you're \"allowing\" Red to distance himself? I disagree, you are just being a good roommate who has come up with a creative solution to your roommate's needs. Sharing the room would defeat it's purpose so good for you for sticking to your guns. As someone who is not autistic but is extremely introverted with social anxiety to boot, I might borrow this forbidden room idea for when my extroverted partner wants to have people over. \n\nIt's clear from your description that your friends don't understand Red or his needs, and you do. Good for you.\n\nBest of luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######","completion":" NTA. Your friends girlfriend doesn’t get to dictate who can attend his funeral. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######","completion":" NTA. Your friends family wants you there. You should go. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy\n\nThey then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.\n\nSo please tell me Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTa. Your friends are opportunistic, selfish assholes. Get new ones. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.\n\nI sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.\n\nI could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your friend sucks. Call into the store and explain the problem and be very kind about it. 9\/10 times they'll be super horrified and train their staff to be more careful. Sorry that happened! ######"}
{"prompt":"My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends. \n\nWhen it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day. \n\nOf course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her. \n\nBasically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.\n\nI felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######","completion":" NTA. Your friend is an abuser who was abusing his GF, you are never TA for encouraging an abuse victim to safely leave their abuser. Honestly your friend shouldn’t be in *any* relationship until he’s gotten some serious individual therapy to change his abusive ways. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17. \n\nFor the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.\n\nA bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said \"Ok but why not? She'll be legal.\" I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.\n\nSee the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.\n\nTed got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways. \n\nAITA??? ######","completion":" NTA. Your friend dropped something: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩\n\nWarn your sister. She should be prepared for when he comes onto her. I say “when” and not “if”, because no matter what you say he’s going to go after her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ######","completion":" NTA. Your friend calling singing a foreign song racist is ridiculous. Is singing a Latin song racist? Are non-English pop songs with English words mixed in also racist?\n\nIs singing *Feliz Navidad* during the winter holidays racist? Does she also get offended when *Gangnam Style* gets played on non-Korean radio? Or is it a testament that good catchy music is great to listen to even if the lyrics aren't completely intelligible, and it's human nature to sing\/hum\/dance\/nod to such music (I personally only sing to music when I'm alone because I **suck** at singing on key). ######"}
{"prompt":" Please excuse grammar and punctuation on PC but not good at writing anything.\n\nMy in-laws blatantly ignore my 2 year old daughter but idolize my 5 year old son. it finally came to a head when they just randomly shower him with gifts and, would regularly say \"my grandson and the other one\". I finally went up to them and told them that until they realize they have 2 grand kids and not just one that they will not be seeing ether anytime soon. Loaded the family back into the car and left that was 2 weeks ago and there has been no contact at all. Am I the A-hole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your first responsibility is to protect your kids. Well done! You can't accept this kind of favouritism. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24\/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING. \n\nfast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped\/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your fiance is not ready to be a dad if he's offended by burps and farts. He knows babies do much worse right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other. \n\nI asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way. \n\nMy FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”\n\nMy fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######","completion":" NTA. Your fiancé was okay with it, and so were his mom and dad. Great Aunt Gertrude can go pound sand.\n\nNext time she complains, look her dead in the eye and say: \"Well bless your heart\". ######"}
{"prompt":"\nsorry if formatting is weird \n\n\n\nSo my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant.\n\nAt that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. \n\nHow we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. \n\n\nI showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well.\n\nWe confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. \n\n\nA few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. \n\nAs for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime.\n\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your feelings are valid. But one thing to consider is how your half brother will feel. Obviously right now he’s too young to understand it all. But eventually he will know what happened and he won’t deserve to feel guilty for it. He is an innocent person in this. He didn’t ask for his mom to have him the way she did. It was completely wrong but he still deserves love from family. If you can’t give that right now, it’s okay. You need to heal; your mom broke a lot of trust. But, just try not to take out the anger you have toward your mom on Dalton. \nI’m sorry you have to deal with all of this though. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and on mobile\n\nSo my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.\n\nMy father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings.  So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.\n\nI believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.\n\nEdit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######","completion":" NTA. Your father was clear on what he wanted. You're not an asshole for enforcing that. They clearly only care about the money, as they did when he was alive. ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.\n\nSo I’m just wondering, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your father needs to learn how to respect your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for speaking up for yourself and voicing your discomfort. There are millions of ways he can show you affection without forcing you to hug him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. \n\nI have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. \n\nA couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.\n\nMe and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. \n\nI want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. \n\nTL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######","completion":" NTA. Your father kicked your out or his house and allowed his wife to abuse you and you’re worried about driving a wedge between the two of you? Why? ######"}
{"prompt":"My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. \n\nI have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. \n\nA couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.\n\nMe and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. \n\nI want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. \n\nTL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######","completion":" NTA. Your father kicked you out, he should be lucky you invited him at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI (17f) get uncomfortable around my father often as he is very touchy and (in my opinion) often inappropriate. He will often playfully smack my butt if he is walking by me in the house, put his hand on my hip or butt if we are taking a picture, or pat my butt if we are hugging. He also implies that I am sexually involved with all of my male friends. \n\nI’ve outright said to him that this makes me uncomfortable months ago but he is unrelenting with being touchy so now I just push his hand away or avoid him in the house. \nNow that we are all stuck at home, it’s difficult to avoid him and if I push his hands away or move when he’s close to me he becomes upset, leaves the room and will either not speak to anyone or be rude to other members of the household. \n\nThe very few times I’ve had friends over he’s implied that I am trying to have sex with all of my male friends and it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. \n\nMy mother knows he makes me uncomfortable but thinks it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get upset and thinks I should put up with it. His presence has made me increasingly anxious and upset for about 4 years and now it’s exacerbated by the current situation. \n\nSo, AITA for not wanting to be around him when he makes me uncomfortable as it upsets him?\n\nEDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice. I’m really happy to know that I’m not overreacting. I will try to update soon enough if I can get in contact with someone I trust. ######","completion":" NTA. Your father is way out of line. Do you have anyone who isn't your mom (who is also being T A) who you trust that you can talk to about this? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.\n\nPersonally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list. \n\nAnd, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.\n\nI have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your father is holding his ‘I raised you’ card high over your head. It is his responsibility to save and prepare for retirement, including having someone to wipe his ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"As the daughter in my family I've taken the duties of buying the groceries, and I'm usually the one to cook. It's our dynamic and it works. I love my family too but my dad can be a jerk sometimes.\n\nSomething he has done since my childhood is burp and fart and cough whenever he wants an area to himself. It's disgusting but we've stopped reacting to it, cause if he knows it bothers us(a family full of women) he'll do it more.\n\nHe's been in a pissy mood lately and started doing it again. If I'm in the kitchen, getting a glass of water or cooking, he will burp incessantly and fart, right next to me, trying to get me to leave. I just don't respond to it. But damn it's so childish and disgusting, that I asked my mom if I could just start getting keto foods to minimize his gas (I know he does it on purpose but if he doesn't have gas to work with...)\n\nMom said it'd be funny and he deserves it. So I did. He's been complaining why there isn't any breads or veggies he likes (the really gassy ones.) But I mean, he's also losing his spare tire so that's good too. And I can hear him struggling to be gassy. He still coughs some but not as much as in the past because everything that's happening.\n\nSo I feel kinda mean for doing this but he seriously needs to stop burping and farting in our faces and where we eat. It's so gross. Am I being an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your father is disgusting. Quite frankly, you’d have every right to leave the room anytime he enters and stop cooking for him all together. ######"}
{"prompt":"For Mother’s Day this year I decided to give my mother plane tickets to japan (her home country) for us to go on a girls trip together. I thought this was a nice gesture, since she loves going visiting japan. We never really go on girls trip and since I could actually afford to pay for it myself I thought it would be a nice experience. My mom was so overjoyed and excited to go! She hated that I spent so much money on her, but she loved the gift.\n\nHowever, my dad was not happy about this.\n\nI once mentioned my plan to give her the tickets to him prior and he said that it was a great idea. However on the day of he got extremely upset and when I confronted him about it he told me that I shouldn’t plan things with my mom without his approval. According to him, when I mentioned to him about my plans, he thought that he could go to. He was angry that he was not included in our mother-daughter girls trip. On Mother’s Day, during the confrontation he claimed “What about me? What am I going to do?”. He then claimed that it was him that married my mom and not me and then proceeded to ignore the both of us the rest of the day. \n\nToday, I learned from my mom that my dad forbade her from going on the trip with me. When I asked my mother why she didn’t stand up to him she replied with “I really wanna go on this trip with you, but I don’t want to disobey your father”. She has decided that though she wants to go on the trip, she cannot go unless she has permission from my father. \n\nI have a great relationship with both my parents and I’m not completely sure of why my dad is acting this way. I don’t like how my mom is treated like his property instead of his wife and needs “permission” to do the things she wants. But that’s their marriage and that’s how she decided she wanted to be treated so I can’t do anything about that.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTa. Your father is an overbearing asshole. Period. Point blank. That said, if this is their marriage dynamic and your mother is content with that and wants to obey your father, there’s really nothing you can do here except accept her decision. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem.  \n  \nBonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######","completion":" NTA. Your faith and the practice of it is your concern and yours alone. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill \"are you fucking incompetent\/learn to do your job\/etc\" side-handed shit from customers.\n\nSeveral months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if \"that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly\"\nWith roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* \"fucked with\" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them.\nNaturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) \"well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face.\" Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable.\n\nI said at the time something along the lines of \"I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that.\"\n\nIt happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat\/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset.\nI do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer.\n\nAm I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move.\n\nEDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ######","completion":" NTA. Your exactly right in saying that you are not paid to put up with that sort of abuse. The manager\/owner, or whatever, should not be telling you that you essentially have to accept the abuse. They should be asking you to hand the situation over to them as it is part of what managers should be paid and trained to handle. \n\nPersonally I think that retailers should be able to take a harder stance against abuse of workers and refuse service and tell the customer to fuck right off. Unfortunately though this usually ends with the worker being fired. ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for telling people about a \"closed\" meeting with management?   I work for a national discount retail chain that we will call amilyfa ollarda.  My mum, who lived in europe, passed away three weeks ago from coronavirus.   Trying to give work advanced notice, I told my manager I would need 2 weeks off to go to europe, arrange and attend her funeral, and settle her estate.  \n   I was called in the office today and told I could only take 48 hours bereavement leave.   I explained that I can not get there and back in 48 hours.   I was told it was their policy and my job would not be held past that.  \n   I was upset due to the fact that I've been working hard through this pandemic to help my community, while not being given masks, proper gloves, or much in the way of ppe until the past few days.   And they want to replace me for wanting to bury my mum?\n  I was told that I'm an a-hole for telling a few close friends about what was said while I was upset.   Being a fairly new immigrant, I'm unused to certain things in my new home, mainly people's aversion to personal time off.  I spoke to my spouse and a few friends to see if this is common in the us.  Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. Your employer is unsympathetic, which is a separate issue. Unless you’re talking about the meeting on social media, who cares if you talk about what was discussed behind closed doors? I’m so very sorry for your loss, but please don’t stress over talking about a closed door meeting. I suppose they could argue it’s unprofessional, but you’re not an asshole at all. Focus on yourself and your family now. The rest is background noise. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal. \n\nI walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise. \n\nThere's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town. \n\nI gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said \"Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings.\" I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....\n\nFast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once. \n\nI was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty \"job\" she's done. Her excuse? \"I was busy with homework\". I hung up the phone.\n\nI rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?\n\nI dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.\n\nIf im TA, tell me so I can make it right.\n\nTL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######","completion":" NTA. Your dog was shitting and pissing in the house because she neglected a basic thing: regular walking. She also didn't properly feed the dog. She didn't do anything right. Homework isn't a good excuse, you wouldn't be spending **all day** doing it. She doesn't deserve to be paid. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are getting a divorce, it was pretty out of the blue, we had a fight and then he said he wanted one. He said that we didn’t have to go to court, he only wanted a small amount and just wanted it to be over with. He’s currently staying with a friend.\n\nHe was a stay at home dad for most of our daughters childhood, and only recently had gotten back to work, however he got furloughed for the quarantine.\n\nI was talking to my parents and they asked how the divorce was going, and I told them the good news that he didn’t want much money. They were unhappy with this for some reason, and said I should volunteer to give him more money. I think that would be stupid, because 1) he’s asking for the divorce, I was perfectly happy, and 2) he specifically only asked for the amount he did.\n\nI then was venting to a friend about this conversation because it frustrated me and then she agreed with them!\n\nI don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, yes, if we went to court he undoubtedly would get more but he doesn’t want to, I’m talking to my lawyer and everything is going smoothly. I don’t see why I should have to give him something he didn’t ask for?\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your divorce settlement is absolutely not the business of anyone but you and your ex. If he only wants a certain amount, and you’re comfortable with that, everyone else can mind their own business. Period. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.\n\nAs much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a \"life coach and weight loss\" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.\n\nI write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule\/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings\/ incur their wrath and judgement.\n\nWIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######","completion":" NTA. Your diagnosis isn't the business of your inlaws. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing .  \nSo suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it . \nI was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up . \nThe fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help . \n\n\nSo reddit AITA ??? \n\nSorry for the grammar mistakes ######","completion":" NTA. Your daughter's mental health issue is a serious thing, not something you pretend it's not there just to bring it up when it's convenient. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alt account be I'm pretty sure my daughter is on reddit.\n\nMy daughter is 17. We have shared custody of her but she is at my place more often than her mom's. A lot of the times on her mom's days she just asks if she can stay home and most of the time her mom allows it. So technically we do have shared custody but my daughter is at my house 99% of the time.\n\nMy daughter had very long hair that went down to her waist. But she asked me if she could cut it to her shoulders. So i made her an appointment and drove her to the salon as soon as it opened back it. She really liked her haircut a lot and posted pictures of it on Instagram.\n\nHer mom must have seen the pictures and called me. She was upset that I hadn't consulted her about the haircut beforehand. She said we both have custody and that a haircut is something we should both agree on. I told her that she's 17 and she is old enough to decide how she wants her hair to look. Her mom said \"yeah you have to be 18 before you can technically decide anything. I still have partial custody so I get a say in things\".\n\nShe also commented on my daughters post. Her comment said: WTF you've ruined your beautiful hair. My daughter told me that she knew she would be upset. Apparently my daughter had always wanted to try a shorter cut because her really long hair was hot and hard to manage but her mom told her that short hair was ugly. My daughter told me that she didn't ever cut it until now because she didn't want to upset her mother.\n\nShould I have talked to her mother before taking her to get it cut? ######","completion":" NTA. Your daughter is pretty much an adult. She chose to cut her hair. You supported her. Nothing wrong with supporting your child. She knew mom wouldn’t be happy but she’s 17. Mom shouldn’t be controlling her hairstyle. No one should but herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is from the DR. He and I met when I traveled abroad as a nurse in my twenties. We’re still married, he’s a fantastic man.\n\nOur 15 year old daughter, the oldest of our kids, has recently decided that she doesn’t have to respect me based on my race. We’ve raised her to be conscious of the racial issues in the US, and have made it clear that people of color face dangers that white people don’t face. In her teenage years she has decided to use this against me.\n\nFirst of all, she has decided that she’s black.\nMy husband has always referred to himself as “brown” or “latinx” and the N word is not a word we use in the house. Our daughter has decided to “reclaim” that slur as a “black woman” and she uses it in every casual sentence.\n\nWhenever I ask her to do something simple (load the dishwasher, clean clothes off her floor) she says “yes massah! Right away massah!” In a southern accent as if I’m behaving like a slave owner.\n\nMy husband is at a loss and so am I. Over the dinner table she kept using the N word and I firmly asked her to stop. She said “that’s rich coming from my WHITE mother.” I said “your WHITE mother is about to beat your BROWN ASS if you don’t go to your bedroom and stay there for the next twelve hours.”\n\nShe stomped up there but kept trying to come out throughout the night claiming she was starving (she hadn’t finished her dinner). Each time my husband and I gave her water and marched her right back to her room.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your daughter is exploiting real race issues to be a disrespectful little shit. Asking your kid to do the dishes is typically met with eye rolling and whining, not accusing you of enslaving her. She needs a reality check. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.\n\nWe got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.\n\nThe issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ######","completion":" NTA. Your daughter is a grown woman who doesn't get along with her adult step sister, and now people think your daughter's husband needs to subsidize someone she doesn't get along with, and someone who isn't her family and didn't grow up with her? The step daughter has no right to demand to be included by being negative. The onus is on her to make the married daughter like her enough that she wants to include her. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nThis happened a very long time ago but I've always wondered if I handled the situation correctly.\n\nI am not close with my dad's family; mostly because my mom never liked them and guilt tripped my sister and I when we went with my Dad to visit them. My mom was being unfair, but that's not what this post is about. My dad has a younger brother who has always given off creepy vibes. I can't explain exactly, but I've never liked being around him.\n\nWhen it came time to plan our wedding, I invited my dad's parents because it felt like the right thing to do. They declined, which is fine. But I had no intention of inviting creepy uncle because a) He is creepy and b) because I didn't want my mom to feel uncomfortable at her daughter's wedding. At the end of the day, I just didn't want him there. I guess I was too much of a wimp to tell my dad that I didn't want him there so every time my dad would bring it up to me, I'd make an excuse about keeping the guest list down, not enough seating, etc.\n\nImagine my surprise when I was walking down the aisle and there was creepy uncle sitting in a pew. I was surprised to say the least. Turns out my dad went behind my back and invited creepy uncle. I was livid and, I am not proud of this, as soon as we left the church I went up to my dad and told him since he was not contributing to my wedding an any way, he had no say so over who I invited or didn't invite.\n\nApparently, creepy uncle made his way over to the O Club where the reception was being held before my husband and I got there and my dad took him aside and told him he had to leave. I later found out that my dad was upset that he had to do that and that if he could do it again, he would have left with him.\n\nAITA?\n\ntl;dr My dad invited my creepy uncle to my wedding behind my back and was upset he had to ask him to leave the reception. ######","completion":" NTA. your dad went behind your back and explicit requst to not invite creepy uncle. sorry your day was ruined, but the problem wasnt you getting angry at your dad. \n\nyou set your boundaries for your day and he ignored it. he should face the consequences.\n\nedit: also sorry for your day being ruined :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.\n\nEvery time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.\n\nSo the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.\n\nHe let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?\n\nEDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad was just mad that he got called out by his kid ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 36 year old male who married a wonderful 45 year old female last year. She has a 23 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I know she was an adult but she still lived at home while finishing college and I treated her as if she were my own. Problem is somehow, my daughter and my father 55 fell in love. Apparently my daughter  has always liked older men and their ability to provide for her. She is a comedian and an aspiring YouTubed with a small following but it is growing. She has always wanted a man to be able to take care of her while she pursues her dreams and well... she chose my dad. They kept the relationship a secret and I found out about 3 months ago (pre all this crazy stuff) that they had run off to a chapel to have a secret wedding when my wife got a text from her daughter meant for her best friend asking to be a witness. I immediately went to go find this chapel and got there before the wedding had started and told my dad to stop this. He couldn’t marry my daughter, it was weird and then daughter would somehow be like a mother to me. He said that he was in love and while them getting married wasn’t up for discussion he did decide to postpone until I got used to the idea. I talked with my daughter and explained that it was a weird situation and she said that’s she agreed it was weird but she wanted a provider and he promised to provide for her. She said that she wouldn’t act like a mother to me at all but really wished that I would accept this. Idk it seems ridiculous to me, AITA for stopping the wedding?\n\nEdit: for those confused she is legally my daughter, her father was terrible and left them when she was really young and she cut all contact. She asked me if I could be adopted as she hasn’t had a father in a really long time and likes me so yes, she is legally my daughter. We finished all the paperwork and got it signed and everything. ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad wants to marry your daughter. That's fucked up lol you're definitely right in feeling the way you do. Your dad is horrible for even setting up that kind of scenario. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, before you judge me please let me explain. \n\nWhen I was 11(f for anyone wondering) my dad and I got into a fight. I truly don’t remember what it was about but most likely something dumb. I was a very sassy preteen and I will admit that but I still feel like his response was unwarranted. \n\nIn the heat of this argument he called me a “fucking cunt”. Again, I was 11. I started responding by saying that I was going to tell my mom and that she would be fucking pissed. He responded with,”who is she gonna believe? An 11 year old? Or her husband.” \n\nAnd he was fucking right. Anytime I tried to bring it up he would gaslight me and to this day he still hasn’t apologized. \n\nAround that same time he also told my mom,”there isn’t enough beer in the fridge to make you pretty.”\n\nI hate him. I fucking hate him. He asked me the other day why we don’t have a good relationship and I just walked into my room and started crying. \n\nTL;DR my dad called me a “fucking cunt” when I was 11, still mad about it \n\n\nSo reddit. Am I the asshole for holding an almost 9 year grudge? ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad sounds like a real piece of work. My advice: show him this post. Tell him “this is why”. If he tries to fix it, good. If not, he has his answer ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I made [this post](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/AmItheAsshole\/comments\/gw4w78\/aita_for_blocking_my_dads_number_refusing_to\/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf) in here earlier, my cousin - who idolizes my dad - found it, asked if it was mine, and so I admitted to it. Which then led to him calling me an asshole and bringing up the time I tweeted a pic as a joke that ended up going viral.\n\nIt was a college grad pic, with me holding up a sign that said, “thanks mom you made this possible 2019,” and I captioned the tweet to say “~controversial grad pics to throw shade at my married, welder dad who said if I ‘really needed to go to college’ my single mom could pay for it~” and it went viral and was seen by a million and a half people.\n\nI posted it in November and my dad never said anything about it, but my cousin just told me he told my dad when it happened and he was upset. But also go read through the other post because I think that will give you a better idea about what kind of person my dad is. ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad played a stupid game and he won a stupid prize. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it. \nMy dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass\/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like \"oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!\" \nMy grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year? \nI don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad is.\n\nThe way he responded, part of me thinks he was never gonna buy you a new phone.\n\nYour phone may still run, but he knows it’s shitty and he made a promise and your school being closed is out of your control. If your grades were good before your school closed and he still refuses, he’s being an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bQ0fTCf) ######","completion":" NTA. Your Dad is THE asshole. It is beautiful and your mom will love it ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (22F USA) quite embarrassed of this situation and need help finding if I’m the asshole. \n\nI quit my full-time job about a week ago because I am pursuing my bachelors degree and cannot balance my  homework while also working more than 40 hours a week. The financial situation this has caused makes it so I can no longer afford groceries. My boyfriend also lives with me and he is being generous and still makes about 1,500 a month which almost covers everything so we are using my savings so we can keep our car and a roof over our head. \n\nIn a desperate need to get food, I started going to my local food bank. I told my dad over the phone and he called me an asshole claiming that if I was less lazy and did not quit my job I wouldn’t be stealing from the poor. Keep in mind my father works for a large corporation making hundreds of thousands a year and does not help me financially in any way since I was 18. \n\nI am starting to feel like TA after that phone call, but my boyfriend keeps telling me he’s an ass. Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad is the asshole for knowing that you need to rely on food banks and yet won’t help you out at all. Fuck that guy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bQ0fTCf) ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad is probably jealous. Give him a card on Father’s Day and when he asks why mom got the picture just say that by his reaction to the painting, you though he wouldn’t want one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said \"yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care\". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said \"go ahead I don't give a fuck\" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)\nat which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######","completion":" NTA. your dad is kinda creepy though :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad doesn't realize his actions have killed his fatherly relationship with my brother, and Aidan (fake name) doesn't care enough to bother calling him out or if I do.\n\nWhen Aidan was younger he did lots of weed in HS, then experimented with more crazy stuff his first few years in college a few times. Aidan is mildly autistic, diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and depression in high school, later also diagnosed with Bipolar. When Aidan turned 18, dad kicked Aidan out with no support and said \"Good luck, kid\".\n\nAidan still struggles but is close to getting his Master's in Math and CS, he's a hard worker and he lives on the straight and narrow, no substances or alcohol of any kind. He got into meditation as a way to improve his life, and started doing it twice a day. He applied and was accepted to a Vipassana meditation retreat for a week. Turns out a few days in Dad called them saying said Aidan had lied and had recently admitted to using hard drugs. He got kicked out because the teacher felt overwhelmed by the potential risk, despite Aidan having permission from his psychiatrist and therapist that he could be there.\n\nAidan told me that he hadn't used drugs recently, and he hadn't said any such thing to dad. I called dad about this and he told me that Aidan is a liar, he never stopped using, and it's sad that he'll end up failing in life but he was doing it to prevent Aidan from becoming unhinged from an intense retreat.\n\nMy dad used to be very close to both of us, then we left for college and he found a fiance, we see him once every few years, get calls every 2 months, but we aren't close, he's more like a great uncle or old family friend we see infrequently. I still care for him, and it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth to let things end like this. Am I a meddling busybody if I call him out on this and try to make him see the light? ######","completion":" NTA. Your dad is actively trying to ruin your brothers life. How long is your dad planning on punishing your brother for his high school behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father and his family lost their home and had no place to live. He has a teenage son, my half brother, who is 15 and a known smoker. Because they had nowhere else to go, I offered them to stay at our other house we usually rent out to other people. The house is situated within our property, just next to our home. \n\nPrior to my dad moving in, my mother and my sister moved in with us 6 months ago after my stepdad passed away. \n\nWe have many spare bedrooms in our home so them moving in wasn't a problem. . \n\nThis is where the conflict arises :\n\nI don't charge rent from my mom. I don't let her cook. I cook for 5 people in our home (my husband, my mom, my toddler and my sister). It's just my way of looking out for my mom because that's what she did for me when I was young and struggling. She raised me as a single mother for years.. \n\nMy dad has a problem with this because I am charging him and his wife the same rent I charge other tenants (it's a well furnished house). He thinks I'm playing favourites between parents because I don't charge my mom any money. He thinks he should pay less rent as compared to other tenants because I'm his daughter.\n\n Apparently, he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he charged me rent the one time when I was very sick and had to move in with him and his wife when I was in college. I had a part time job, and struggled to pay my bills with my illness. I wasn't shown any consideration. \n\nHe also has a problem because my husband doesn't help him out with his groceries. He is older now, 71 and thinks we should be the one getting him his groceries. We don't think so, his wife is 50 and he has a young son. They can be the ones doing the grocery shopping if he's to fragile to move around. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your Dad charged you rent. Your Dad is occupying space you’d otherwise earn income on, your Mom isn’t.\n\nAnyway, even without the above points, you’re allowed to like your Mom more or to give her more support. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.\n\nI practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises\/cuts\/injuries, people tend to ask about them.\n\nI was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied \"well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!\" (it got cancelled of course).\n\nWell another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).\n\nWell HR suspended me for the rest of the day, \"investigated\" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.\n\nI instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a \"hostile work environment\" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.\n\nI have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######","completion":" NTA. Your coworker is overly sensitive and needs to seek some form of help if she's going to take everything everyone says personal. Times are tough right now, but I'd also consider finding a new workplace once a suitable option presents itself as your workplace seems to have a policy of punishing first and investigating later. Also, your job can't require you to be friends with anyone. This girl sounds like a headache. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hear me out... this happened yesterday. My (44F) cousin (32F) called me in a panic because she wants to call the police on her neighbor for abusing her children because \"she left them outside in the heat and won't let them back indoors\". Cousin states she saw the children playing and the younger boy (approx 10-11) was \"too sweaty and red faced\". She walked over and offered the kids a popsicle which they accepted, and then asked why they didn't go inside until the hottest part of the day was over (upper 90s with full sun). Kids told her that the mother was cleaning the house and told them to stay out until she was finished and locked the doors so they wouldn't bother her. Cousin, thinking this is just not okay, knocks on the neighbor's door to ask if this is, indeed, true. Neighbor explains that the boys  have been told to stay outside until she finishes her cleaning, as they'd been arguing amongst themselves all morning and she (neighbor) needed \"a few hours of quiet before lunch'. Neighbor also said she locked the door because they were constantly coming in and out, slamming the door each time. Neighbor told cousin that both boys were fed a hearty breakfast, and sent outside with snacks, and there is a fridge in the garage that holds cold drinks. Cousin said neighbor was \"pretty rude\" and then asked her to leave, which upset cousin even more. I asked cousin if the kids looked sick or had asked her for help. NO. Are they playing in the street? NO. Are they disrupting your work by being outside? NO. She feels the mother should be reported for locking her children out of their own house in the summer heat, and that neighbor was unjustly rude. I told my cousin she needed to mind her own business and that being made to play outdoors instead of sitting in front of a monitor or tv all day, was not abuse and I'd probably be rude to her, too. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Your cousin needs to mind her own business. It used to be normal for kids to play outside all day every day in the summer. Your cousin is old enough to remember that, surely. It’s not like the kids were toddlers and they clearly had access to shade, snacks, and cold drinks.\n\nETA: The hottest part of day is closer 3pm than noon. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a year ago:\n\nI'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.\n\nMy niece saw it and very innocently asked. \"Why is she naked?\"\n\n I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.\n\n*\"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top.\"*\n\nShe seemed amused by that.\n\nWell a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. \"did- did this artist draw these people naked too?\"\n\nI chuckle and say, \"yeah, probably.\"\nMy niece chuckles with me. \n\nAt that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *\"That's disgusting...\"* and walks away. \n\nI felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ######","completion":" NTA. Your conversation with your niece wasn’t the business of this random prudish asshole who felt it necessary to eavesdrop. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey!\nSo recently my biological dad reached out to me and explained that he is probbably going to die because of kidney falioure and he is at the bottom of the list.\nIm 21 female.\nI am really scared of doctors, let alone blood donation. So you can't even imagine how scared I really am to even think about this. Surgery is 10 times worse than anything else. \n\nRecently my biological dad told me that I am probbably an approppriate donator. To me, he is just a regular stranger. I don't think I would be able to donate kidney even to my close family.\nResults came back positive. I tought I won't be approppriate donator and went to test myself because my and his family were pressuring me to do so. I was wery scared. After results came back positive they told me how happy they were,... and I had a panic attack.\n\nIt was wery hard for me and I finally got the currage to tell them. They started trying to guilttrip me, saying that I will be sorry, that I will be responsible for murderer, that they will file a lawsuit,...\nI really don't know what to do. So please tell me, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your choice is valid. You said you see this man as a stranger and you wouldn’t even be comfortable donating a kidney to your own close family— tbh, as much as it’s going to piss them off, I’d tell him just that.\n\nDonating a kidney is major surgery, and you’d be well within your rights to say “no” to anyone.\n\nI don’t know your whole life story but it’s pretty shady that he’s coming out of the woodwork when he needs your help. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.\n\nI finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling \"Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse.\" They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.\n\nI thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your brothers were fighting and being incredibly unaware of their surroundings. They needed to be more aware and responsible. Sure, you could've been a little less shouty, but after taking possibly hours making stew you have every right to be mad. Your mum should've put herself in your shoes and imagine how angry she'd have been if it were her stew. I mean, no phone for three days because you got angry with your siblings for knocking over your stew? Jeez. ######"}
{"prompt":"Every night, my brother(16) calls his cousin and they play Call of Duty Mobile with 3 other family members. However, when he does this, he's loud as hell and ignores literally everything anyone tells him.\n\nHe yells into his mic on his earbuds and constantly is asking if the others can hear him. He also snaps at my other brother(14) and I(20) for being too loud when we're just having a normal conversation because we're butting in on his conversation.\n\nTonight, I finally had enough of his mess. I asked him to go in his room and play because he was too loud and his constant \"can you still hear me?\" every 3 minutes was annoying. He instantly got upset and pissy and told his group he was leaving. He then got after me, saying that the wifi isn't good in his room. I told him thats a lie because I get perfect wifi at the way back of our acre property. Then he decided that he didn't wanna be around me anymore, and stormed off to his room and scowled at me every time he left his room. ######","completion":" NTA. Your brother is being an obnoxious brat. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ######","completion":" NTA. Your brother asked about the flags and you tried to explain them in an age appropriate way. Lying to a child to 'protect' them from harmless things such as the LGBTQ community would be much much worse than simply answering his question. Chances are, he won't give it much thought going forward anyway - kids ask loads of questions, and he'd honestly have probably been even more curious about if if you'd have avoided the subject altogether. I'm not sure what else you could really have done ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I were chatting about the wedding, and he asked me who my bridesmaids are going to be. So I list them off, and he just stares at me. So I ask what’s the matter and he says “well what about L(his sister)?” And I told him that she wasn’t going to be one. He gets PISSED. And he’s like “well if so and so can be a bridesmaid then L should be too! She’s going to cause a scene if she’s not one!”\n\nLet me give you guys some background. I met this girl maybe a month after my fiancé and I started dating. She’s studying to be a cosmetologist so I was being friendly and offered to let her do my hair and she was so excited. And so she and I are sitting in a room and she’s doing my hair and she goes “it’s crazy that you guys have been together for a month, because there’s been like 10 other girls that come to the house at night, so I figured you guys weren’t serious”. So I’m thinking this girl has no reason to lie to me, and I’m cool with his brother so I ask him. He says that it’s not true and L will lie about anything to stir up some drama. Since that night that girl has lied to me about stuff from crazy nights she’s had to being the one who found my dead cousin (yeah, she’s kinda horrible). But not only is she a liar, but a theif! She steals my stuff all the time and claims that she just found it, which my fiancé believes. And the biggest thing, is she puts me down at every opportunity. She tells me that I look stupid in my new clothes or my haircut is ugly, or my makeup is shitty. Just constantly putting me down. And that’s not the energy I want around me on my big day!\n\nI love her to death bc at the end of the day she’s my sister now. But I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her. But my fiancé is furious that his cousins can be bridesmaids but not his sister. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your bridesmaids are for your support, not his. He can ask her to be a groomswoman if he wants her in the wedding that badly. \n\nAlso, you don’t have to like or love her just because she’s family. Toxic is toxic regardless of someone’s relation to you. You don’t owe her anything just because you’re marrying her brother. ######"}
{"prompt":"So today, I got in the car from work, and brought with me, some cotton candy grapes. I offer my fiancé to try one and he refuses. He seems bothered and he said he’s nauseous because of the smell of the grapes, and my grape breath. He says they smell gross and that he can’t handle the smell. \n\nHe never eats fruits or vegetables. He won’t eat the onions in French onion soup, the carrots and peas in stir fry, he’ll pick the onions and pickles off of his burgers, he purposely avoids food with diced tomatoes, he picked off all the green onions off of orange chicken I made....don’t even go into tomatoes. He hates pineapples, strawberries, lychees, bananas, mangos, peaches, plums...\n\nHe won’t even try fruits or vegetables. He’s never had broccoli, asparagus, kale, cabbage etc etc. Adding insult to injury he now weighs 323 lbs and is 5’11”. Were both 19. I’m chubby but god damned at least I eat some plants. \n\nHe kisses me again after the flavor is out of my mouth, and says sorry he can’t handle fruits or vegetables. \n\nAITA for eating grapes around my fiancé? ######","completion":" NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like he might need medical help. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve had my cat Morwen (bonus points if u know where her name is from) for about 6 years and have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Recently we’ve been talking about moving in together, since his lease is up in May and we’ve been together a while, but if we moved into my apartment he would be moving an hour away and transferring locations for work. When we got together I told him I had a cat, and he said he didn’t like cats but since then whenever he’s over he pets her and will even bring her toys and treats and he cuddles her and calls her into sleep with us when he sleeps over. I assumed he liked her and we never discussed her leaving. \n\n\nA few days ago while talking about him moving in he asked what I was gonna do with Morwen and I asked him what he meant and he said “Well if I’m moving in we’re not having a cat. I told you I don’t like them.” I told him I wasn’t rehoming Morwen and he said “If you want to move in with you we all have to make sacrifices. I’m transferring jobs and moving an hour away.” \n\nI told him I wasn’t willing to rehome my cat and it wasnt up for discussion and he essentially told me then we weren’t moving in together and that he couldn’t believe I would choose a cat over him and hung up. \n\n\nMy roommates boyfriend offered to take her for me but I’m just not willing to give up my cat that I had long before I started dating him. \n\nAITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend?\n\n\nEdit: cat tax https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/qzlDmzi\n\n\nEdit #2: Morwen is a character in Skyrim.\n\nEdit #3: https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/H2LiKZl -chirpy meows ######","completion":" NTA. Your boyfriend is treating your cat as if it was a fucking lamp or something. Not moving in with him will probably turn out to be one of the best decisions you can make. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nsome context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis\/cute stuff\n\nBut now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with \"drawing stuff for OTHER people\". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.\n\nThis all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. Your boyfriend is not entitled to free art. You have already been extremely generous with him. \n\nIf he wants more art he can pay, and wait in the commission line like everybody else. ######"}
{"prompt":"(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your body, your kids\/group of cells (idk how far along the pregnancy was). They should be happy that you or your husband need therapy and are depressed. As long as you are happy then that’s all that matters. ######"}
{"prompt":"I haven't left the house in almost 3 weeks, I HATE shaving.  It is probably my biggest pet peeve cause whenever I shave I have stuble literally the next day and it pisses me off.  Since my mom and dad have forced me to stay and I'm forbidden from leaving I don't see a need to shave.  Its been 3 weeks since I've even touched my razor.  I don't grow hair fully on my cheeks but I have a full on beard at this point, it looks ugly as shit and its unkept.  I do wash it in the shower with shampoo and stuff so it doesn't smell just looks ugly.  \n\nMy sister recently asked me to shave cause it looks hideous.  I told her I'm not shaving till I have to go out, and that I hate shaving.  She said that she hates looking at it and I basically told her tough luck.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your body, your choice. Your comfort is more important than her perception of your ugliness. ######"}
{"prompt":"I hate getting touched, and especially when I’ve already told them I hate getting touched without my permission. I only let few people touch me, and I even get annoyed with family members touching me. My grandmother constantly touches my waist and I hate it, I already told her to not touch me. Yet she did it again, I got really mad, and she got really mad and upset. Now I have to apologize. She did it so many times at the most annoying times, and I can’t stand her bullshit. ######","completion":" NTA. Your body & you choose who touches it.\n\nThe people forcing you to apologize are AH. So is Grandma for not listening to her granddaughter. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before Christmas I fell and broke my hip, nothing extreme becsuse I'm young but still had to have a surgery and till February I only moved to perfom rehabilitative exercises. Then pandemic happened and I wasn't able to do anything. Which made me grumpy  as I'm used to at least walk a lot. Finally, 2 months ago I was allowed to start slow pilates sessions and also yoga. I don't think I gained that much weight but definitely lost some definition abs-wise as I'd been used to work out frequently. Frankly I was scared shitless of gaining weight as I had an eating disorder when I was younger and occasionally I get either concerned about my weight or concerned about being concerned about my weight. Surprisingly I'm almost proud of myself because not only I managed to get my ol' good bone moving again, but I also didn't have problems with having a bit of tummy. That was until my bf started to joke about me being a bit fluffy. He knows about my past problems with food so I assumed it was a weird slip-on. Then he did it again and again and again. Telling me I wouldn't fit into my slacks after eating an ice-cream. Or that I looked like I was preggars. Initally I told him my trousers size hadn't changed and he should google pregnant women to see how they looked like. He shrugged it off as a joke, so did I till I found myself doing some weird things I did when I was ill (playing with food instead of eating, trying to count calories, watching myself in mirror etc.) and hadn't done them for 3 years, at least. So next time he made another 'quip' I got angry and asked him to never comment on my body again even if I gained weight and had an arse of a horse he should be happy I was able to walk. He told me to calm down and that he wasn't aware \"I lost my sense of humour back on the operating table\". I'm now confused af, don't know whether I was being a jerk back then or it was all 'real' I even start to think about apologising. ######","completion":" NTA. Your bf on the other hand is a huge, gaping one. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA: Last night my boyfriend took it upon himself to let our friend group hanging out in discord know that I really don't send him nudes. (I've been through a lot and have ptsd, and I don't trust technology. He knows I'm uncomfortable with sending nude pictures of myself and we see each other on a decently regular basis.) Our friends then proceeded to make fun of me for it which I expected since that's just our friend group. It still really hurt though. I went to talk to my boyfriend about it, and he said that most of my problem should be with our friends and not him. The problem is I struggle to trust people and I'm uncomfortable with my body and in that instant it felt like he just didn't respect me. Am I the asshole for being upset more with him and not our friends? ######","completion":" NTA. Your bf is trying to publicly shame you in order to get you to do something you are not comfortable with. You are 100% justified in not sending nudes if you don't want to. Your body, your choice.\n\nHe's also showing that if you *were* to send nudes, he likely won't keep his mouth shut about that either. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are currently expecting a baby in November. I have 3 other children from a previous marriage. My husband is off work on Monday, Thursday and Friday and I’m off on the weekend so we only need a sitter for Tuesday and Wednesday while we both work.\n\nMy grandmother who raised me has always taken care of my 3 children while I work and they usually keep them one or two nights a week since they like to spend time with then kids. \n\nMy husband and I have been talking about where the baby will go while we are at work and I would rather my grandmother watch them. Or even his father would be fine to watch the baby when he wasn’t working. His dad owns a painting business so he usually makes his own hours. \n\nNow my husbands mother wants to keep the baby and I do not want her to watch it. She’s a nice person but, she has major health problems. She has had several strokes, uses a walker, has hearing aids, has a pace maker and is on 30 different medications. Yes, 30. \nMy husband has to do her medication everyday because she will over take her medicine which she does a lot. She’s been hospitalized several times for “over medicating” \n\nShe just doesn’t seem capable enough to care for a young child. My husband said that she wouldn’t watch it, alone. Meaning her mother would be there as well. Now that would be all fine and good if my husbands grandmother didn’t call my husband everytime my mother in law over medicates and he has to leave to go pick his mom up and take her to the hospital and if the baby was there at that time then I would have to leave work too so I could pick the baby up. \n\nIt would just make more sense for the baby to go to my grandmothers house. WIBTA for telling her and my husband that she can’t babysit the baby? ######","completion":" NTA. Your baby’s safety is more important than MIL’s need to watch him. She may be hurt but it just doesn’t seem safe to let her watch the baby.\nPlus her lack of responsibility with her medication is even more concerning, especially as the baby gets older, mobile, and into toddlerhood ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is going to be pretty short and simple. \n\nAs me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.\n\nAt first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.\n\nI love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.\n\nWill I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######","completion":" NTA. Your baby, your rules. Also, the hospital is likely not going to let her in or let you out or let you two interact AT ALL for safety with the virus. She should stay put until you get home and invite her over. Call the hospital and ask to be sure, and then tell her what they say. ######"}
{"prompt":"Earlier today, my aunt and her young (seven year old) daughter came to visit to celebrate my father's birthday, with masks and gloves and all that, and I was wearing a short sleeves shirt because it was hot out. My scars are incredibly noticeable, so I wasn't really surprised when my aunt came to me and demanded that I put on a long sleeves shirt because it was making her uncomfortable and she didn't want her daughter seeing that.\n\nI apologized but said it was too hot for long sleeves, plus that her daughter wasn't even paying attention to me. My aunt then said that I should be \"ashamed\" of myself for allowing her daughter to see such a thing.\n\nI didn't want to argue so I just walked away at that point. My aunt and her kid left not long afterwards but called my mom to complain about it. Neither of my parents blame me for it and say that she shouldn't have said what she did, but I'm curious as to whether or not she was in the wrong or if I should have just sucked it up. ######","completion":" NTA. Your aunt is gross. You are allowed to have your arms and scars out, because what matters here is *your* comfort. All your aunt is going to do is teach her child to be as prejudiced as she is. This could have been a good teaching moment about tolerance (or whatever the word is) IMO. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?\n\nHe pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog). \n\nHe makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February. \nI asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?\n\n\nEdit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######","completion":" NTA. Your accounts are set up wrong. Each of you has an individual account for \"fun\" money. Then a shared account for shared expenses such as groceries, furniture, bills, savings, etc. Work out how much your expenses are, then savings, then \"fun\" money. There has to be a limit to \"fun\" money or you get lifestyle creep and it blows your budget. The rule should be to **never** take money out of savings or shared account without consulting the other, and only for emergencies. If your husband \"borrowed\" $400, the first thing he should have done with his next paycheck is put that $400 back in.\n\nEdit: I saw in a lower post how you gave up your high-paying job to advance his career. You should both get the same amount of \"fun\" money, regardless of how much you guys make now. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.  \n\n\nMy girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.  \nI felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.  \nTherefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).  \n\n\nNow today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.   \nBy going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.  \n\n\nSo, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.  \n\n\nAm I the asshole for that? ######","completion":" NTA. Your account, your rules. Either she can open her own account or chip in on a family account you both share. ######"}
{"prompt":"My neighbors have always been pretty rude since they moved in a few years ago. But the last year and a half have been hell.\n\nThey have:\n-called CPS on me on an anonymous report saying that I do crack and lock my daughter in a closet. Disgusting lies, I've never even done crack or anything like that, and I would never do that to my kids.\n-called the cops on us a few months ago saying we were \"arguing loudly\" when we had a few friends over for backyard camping. Argument never happened, and we had all been sleeping in our tents except for me, who couldn't sleep.\n-called the cops on is for a small firepit my foance and kids were roasting marshmallows(was legal but too many stones were missing after their kids were caught messing with it)\n-screamed profanities at their kids loud enough where we can hear it in detail.\n\nTheir kids(4f, 11f, 12m, 14m) used to play regularly with my kids(5f, 10m) but the older girl and the boys would bully my 5yo to the point my 10yo stood up for her and then cried to me that he was put in that position to where he felt he lost friends. (There were a few more incidents, like when I caught them knocking over my fire pit, but nothing big. The kids were usually nice.)\n\nI told my kids they can't play with the neighbors anymore, and my son is sad but understands but my daughter is furious, because she says the 4yo neighbor is her best friend. It makes me so sad, because the little girl did nothing wrong, but the rest of the family are toxic, especially the parents.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Your 5yo is right to be upset in losing a friend, but when it comes to this family you’re better off seeking out a lawyer in the hopes of pursuing a defamation lawsuit against them. ######"}
{"prompt":"FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!\n\nAbout two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.\n\nRelationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.\n\nI decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.\n\nI am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.\n\nHave a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######","completion":" NTA. Your “girlfriend” was incredibly out of line. I don’t see why she would behave this way  (other than being racist) after two months of dating each other. There are a lot of memes\/jokes about Indian men being creepy or inappropriate towards women, but obviously that’s not the majority of the population.\n\nDoes your girlfriend not see her problematic behavior?! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I (38m) was about to get into the shower, but my wife (39f) told me that she was going to pick up groceries and was going to be 15 minutes. And she asked if I could shower the kids (5f, 3m) while she was gone. I said okay. \n\n\nI didn’t want to shower my kids and then go into the shower myself because that seemed like a huge waste of water, and my wife showers with the kids very often, so I figured I would take them into the shower with me. I washed them and then myself, we dried off and I wrapped a towel around my waist. My daughter went to go get dressed and I went to get my son dressed. \n\n\nMy wife came home at this point and she came upstairs. She saw me with wet hair and my son too. She asked, “Did you shower daughter?” I told her yes. She said “That’s so fudged up!” (She didn’t want to swear in front of my son). I asked why and she said because she is a girl. I told her that our son showers with her and he’s a boy. She said that it’s different and asked that I wouldn’t shower with our daughter again. I said I wouldn’t but I was still confused. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You’ve done nothing wrong. She is sexualising the situation which is really fudged up on her part. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story.\n\nI’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info. \n\nIdk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have.\n\nWell, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise.\n\nEdit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing.\n\nEdit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared.\n\nEdit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come\n\nEdit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested!\n\nEdit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ######","completion":" NTA. You’ve been dating for 6 months. You’re not tied in any way financially and your bf is a gigantic Ah. It sounds like he wants to control your money or at least parr’s of you. I’d seriously consider dumping his ass if this is how he’s acting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.\n\nA clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.\n\nI joked \"Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon.\" My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.\n\nLater that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.\n\nShe got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.\n\nIt went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.\n\nWe haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re raising them together. They’re *your* kids. Not just hers anymore. She can’t pull that card anytime you do something she doesn’t agree with. \n\nAnd it may just be me, but 11 years old is an appropriate age to begin learning about sex ed. How long does she want to wait? Does she realize there are 10 and 11 year olds today that get pregnant? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was jogging on a trail next to a somewhat busy public street when I saw a young girl crying on a bench. I figured it was best to avoid, but on the way back home, she was still on the same bench, crying. She was about 15. I asked her if she was OK. She said no. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, and she said yes. So, I sat on the bench next to her.\n\nWe talked for ~30 minutes. She was running away from home because she was tired of her parents telling her she wasn't allowed to hang out with her friends, or something like that. I don't really remember, but it wasn't anything that sounded dangerous or abusive. I used to teach high school, so I'd heard similar complaints before. At the end, she decided to go back home. I walked her home, which turned out to be surprisingly far, like 4 miles. I dropped her off and walked home.\n\nAt some point, she may have put her head on my shoulder while crying. I don't remember if she did, but let's assume so. I didn't touch her, hug her, put an arm around her, etc. I do remember that much.\n\nMy girlfriend says that I shouldn't have let her do that. She believes that, as I am a 30+ year old man, allowing a teenage girl that I didn't know to cry on my shoulder can be seen as creepy and molest-y, and it's unacceptable. She says that she knows my intentions were innocent, but I still shouldn't have allowed it. According to her, I shouldn't have even been close enough for the girl to put her head on my shoulder to begin with. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re not the asshole in any way here. You listened to the girl out of nothing but good intent and made the 4 mile trek back to her house to return her safely to her family. It’s not safe for a girl of that age to be running around on her own, so it’s good that you were there for her instead of someone who might have been there to harm or take advantage of her. \n\nI understand where your gf is coming from, but this doesn’t make her right. Unfortunately, with the way the world is, people might view an older male approaching a young girl as predatory. They might get mad and throw accusations and make you out to be the bad guy when, in reality, you were only trying to help. Your girlfriend is in the wrong here because you did a good thing and she’s looking at the negative side of things. But she could just be saying that out of fear that someone may have retaliated badly, as does happen in some cases. \n\nRegardless, OP, you did the right thing. Thank you for making sure she was safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved. \n\nTo be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said \"Please don't park here again. It's reserved.\" I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day. \n\nToday, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, \"Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved.\" My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it. \n\nI've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying \"We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do\" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed. \n\nSo, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re not jumping the gun- you gave them multiple chances with notes. Where are you expected to park if they keep taking the spot you pay for?\n\nIf you take down the plate number, perhaps the landlady can send an email letting them know they will be towed next time. Or include that on your next note. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically, this blonde girl kept giving me 50% off my Subway. I wasn't sure if it was a glitch or not but I noticed whenever she served me specifically my bank statement would always show my charge as half the price of what I normally pay. I suspect she was doing this purposely and it was meant to be a sweet gesture... And because of this, I avoided mentioning it to her as I thought it would come off as tone-deaf if I pointed out that she was undercharging me (if she was doing it on purpose).   \n\n\nThis happened for about a month. And then one day their franchise owner was in the store doing a routine checkup on his staff members. He noticed me and immediately began snapping his fingers at me while calling me buddy sternly in order to get my attention. He asked me if I had come in the day before and then accused me of not paying for my sub the day prior (in front of his staff and customers). He then said he'd let it slide this time and that I could have yesterday's sub for free, but for me not to let it happen again. \n\nI assume he's implying that he thinks I'm a thief. I walked out and checked my bank statements (which all said I had paid). So I can only assume he's alluding to his staff member giving me 50% off. \n\nAm I an asshole for accepting what I presume would be this girl's staff discount?... ######","completion":" NTA. You’re not asking for a discount.  That was not a way to get continued business from the owner\/manager. It sounds like you go in frequently so it’s odd they would attack like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday was my \\[24f\\] birthday.  My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)\n\nBirthdays have never been big in my family.  I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside.  So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead.  Neither of my parents said anything.  I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.\n\nMy mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family.  She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today.  Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed.  I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with.  It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received.  That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday.  So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him.  And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re not a child, it isn’t a “special” birthday, and your family doesn’t appear to have made any other plans to celebrate it... so what exactly is their problem?!\n\nYour parents are being selfish, petty and immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (38f, white) foster kittens with a local rescue. I usually go through the alphabet to name each new cat\/kitten\/group. We are on out second time around the alphabet, we are at the letter U, last time we had Ursula. I was looking for names  for 1 female and 3 male kittens. I found Uhura and thought it would be really cute to name them Uhura, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. My mom said because the female kitten is also mostly black it wouldn't be ok. I feel like I'm not naming an animal after a black person but naming her after a beloved fictional character. But as a white person I just don't know. (Also I'm a reddit virgin, please be gentle) ######","completion":" NTA. You’re naming them all together, after a group of fictional characters. If we are starting talk about race when it comes to felines, then I am starting to be concerned for human evolution. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and dependent on me to help her make friends and socialize. To this day she still wants me to answer her questions for her sometimes because she does not want to talk to some people.\n\nI understand that my parents loves both of us but cares more about my sister. She is not independent neither was raised to be someone to care for herself. One of the reasons why I dislike my parent’s way of raising us. Finally I told them this is too much for me because I have my own life to live and I can’t take care of her if I’m not self-reliant. I told them if I can’t swim and you expect me to help another person drowning we’d both drown. \n\nTheir response was “You’re being selfish, you only think about yourself.”\n\nAITA for telling them I have to take care of myself first before caring for her? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re her sister, not her caregiver. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re overwhelmed and want to take care of yourself too. You’re absolutely right - can’t keep someone else afloat when you’re struggling. ######"}
{"prompt":"We dated for 2 years, I got pregnant, and he said he wasn't ready to be a dad and left us. He came back when she was about a year old and apologised, stuck around for about 6 months, and then left again. She's now 4 and he wants back in her life.\n\nI've said that's not happening unless we have a custody agreement. I know I can't make him show up or use his time, but he's not even on the birth certificate because he wasn't there to sign it and avoided signing it the first time he came back. If we had a custody agreement, if he took anything less than 50\/50 custody he'd have to pay child support, and he says he can't afford to take any custody or pay any support, he can only afford to see her when she's at my place without going on the certificate.\n\nI've said no. I want him on the certificate, I want a custody agreement, and anything less, to me at least, is showing a lack of commitment to our daughter. I don't want her hurt. She's 4 years old, last time he ducked out on her she was less than 2 and only saw him once a month, but if he sticks around for 6 months again and then leaves she will notice this time.\n\nSince I said it, my ex and his new girlfriend have sent me messages. Nothing that bad, just asking me to reconsider, but there was one point where my ex called me a \"bitch\" and another where the girlfriend said \"\\[ex\\] told me you'd be unreasonable. guess he was right\".\n\nI asked mum what she thinks, and she says I should let my ex see our daughter without the agreement and try again to get an agreement in a year or so, because it would be worse if my ex got custody but our daughter didn't like him or something.\n\nAITA for wanting the agreement before my ex sees her? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re handling this absolutely right. Your top priority is protecting your daughter and that’s what you’re doing here. ######"}
{"prompt":"My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re going to have your hands full assisting her after whatever she’s doing at the hospital.  Adding extra kids is a level of extra work that is greatly unnecessary. You should be talking with your husband about the logistics of who’s going to be caring for all of the children and his mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"This wasn't really an issue until lockdown, when friends\/flatmates' bfs moved in with us and we went from 3 people (out most of the time) to 6 people (in all of the time) with only 1 bathroom. \n\nI like long showers. Most days I'm in the bathroom for 20-25 minutes (from entering to exiting). Once a week I wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave, meaning I can be in the bathroom for up to 40 minutes. Because of this I avoid peak times (mornings and when everyone's getting ready for bed) and check if anyone needs in the bathroom before i go, either in person or a message on the group chat.\n\nThe problem is my flatmates bf has very short showers so thinks im extremely excessive. A few times now he has been out walking\/running\/cycling and is desperate for the toilet when he gets back. His gf has had to knock on the door and ask me to hurry up because he needs the toilet. I do then get out asap and shout that it's now free. \n\nHowever they (flatmate and her bf) think I am being an AH for maintaining my \"excessive showers\" when there are now so many of us sharing. I really enjoy my long showers and have already stopped showering before bed to try and ease congestion. I don't think it's that unreasonable in my own flat but feel kind of bad if it's causing major problem, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. you’re going out of your way to be considerate of people who dont even live there. i hope they’re at least helping out with the bills ######"}
{"prompt":"Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.\n\nPre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental &amp; developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.\n\n———\n\nDue to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.\n\nHer mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay. \n\nYesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.\n\nWhen I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.\n\nI ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about\/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired. \n\nI left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re feelings are valid and also deserve consideration. It’s shitty that your “friends” feel the need to coddle her, while doing to you what they’re asking you not to do to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I apologize for my English in advance.\n\n\n\n\nHi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel  it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ######","completion":" NTA. You’re doing your best! You wanted to make sure the doctor knew what was going on, it makes sense you would want to be as clear as possible. Learning another language is tough, there’s no shame in needing some help! ######"}
{"prompt":"I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I am aware that just because you’re in a relationship that attraction to other people doesn’t just stop, and that’s fine!! I’m chill with my bf finding other people attractive and I’m not mad at that.\nHowever, I do suffer with super low self esteem and some other mental health problems which he is aware of and I’m also working on them.\n\nMy boyfriend comments on other women often. It’ll always be something sexual as well, which makes me super uncomfortable. It feels like it’s constantly happening like on dates, going shopping, grabbing a coffee, watching a film etc. It kinda wears me down but I also feel like I’m being stupid. I understand he finds them attractive and that’s okay but I have asked him to stop multiple times just because I can’t always brush it off as much as I’d like to and it does mess with my head a bit. He checks people out a lot as well and sometimes it feels as though I can’t have a conversation with him if an attractive girl is walking by because he’s so distracted. When I ask him to stop he always says its just who he is and he won’t stop making comments in front of me because he thinks it’s funny. I tried to ignore it because I figured I am being whiny and overreacting, but one day I was just in a bad mood and he made some dumb comment about some woman's boobs and I once again told him to please stop and that it was upsetting me, I think I probably got too snappy. He got mad at me and didn’t speak to me until I said sorry.\nI guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too insecure? Sometimes I don’t realise and just need to hear other people’s opinion. ######","completion":" Nta. You’re boyfriend it’s totally TA though. You really should break up with him, he doesn’t seem to respect you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.\n\nI wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.\n\nAfter turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.\n\nToday we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.\n\nI'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.\n\nAm I the asshole for spending my earned money? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re being responsible by setting some money aside for the future and it’s not like you’re spending your dad’s money on makeup and gag gifts. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances &amp; cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with  shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.\n\nFirst incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short &amp; I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that &amp; she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less. \n\nSecond incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work &amp; I'm in my shorts &amp; baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.\n\nMy stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed &amp; asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.\n\nSo reddit, please give me some input. ######","completion":" NTA. You’re an adult. Dress how you want. I find it reeeeeally problematic that your step-mother insinuated concern over your dad sexualizing you. Like... what even? That’s gross and incestuous, and I would calmly\/tactfully call her out on her own insecurities. She obviously feels threatened and lacking attention. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other. \n\nI asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way. \n\nMy FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”\n\nMy fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re an adult and she has no right to tell you what to wear and around who ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today. \nMy partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.\n\nHave I acted irrationally? ######","completion":" NTA. You’re above and beyond with being kind and patient. ######"}
{"prompt":"My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.\n\nI asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15\/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.\n\nAnyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.\n\nThese last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it. \n\nI don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ######","completion":" NTA. You've reminded her twice now. It might be good to send a text and wait for a few days for a response before removing her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sounds terrible, I know, but hear me out.  \n\n\nMy grandmother (GM) is 95 years old. She lives with my parents, who are both 70 years old. I (F43) live in the house next to them with my husband, kids and pets. Growing up, GM live with us as well and she was the torment of my childhood. She despised my mother and did her best to start arguments between us. She got me in trouble many times, hiding my things and lying about things I'd supposedly said and done to my parents. My mother despised her as well, but my father was too kind to kick her out. I was angry about this for many years, however, recently my anger has begun to thaw and I no longer care about her one way or the other. She's essentially a stranger. \n\nFor a pretty long time, she required little assistance from my parents. However, it is clear that she will not live much longer. She is completely bedridden and my poor parents have to take care of her almost 24\/7. Time and time again, I have urged them to hire a caretaker to help them manage, since they need to take care of themselves as well. They refuse. I offered to pay for the caretaker and any additional related expenses. Still nothing. \n\nHowever, my father wants me to help feed, dress and take care of my GM. For the obvious reason that I harbour no attachment or feelings towards her, I don't want to do this. Even if I did, I am working from home with two young children and a whole slew of pets and I simply cannot find the time to help them. Once again, I tried to convince them to hire a caretaker, because they obviously struggle on their own. They are adamant that they can handle it on their own. This has led to several schisms between us. My mother is somewhat on my side, however, my father is upset that I don't want to help take care of her. AITA for refusing to take care of my elderly grandmother? ######","completion":" NTA. You've offered to pay for a solution to *their* problem, it's their choice to refuse it. It could be they don't want strangers in their home or they know Grammy is going to cause a ruckus. \n\nIf Grammy is as bad as you say, she could be demanding you specifically because she likes watching you be uncomfortable. \n\nYour dad is TA because he keeps asking you to help when you've already said no and offered to pay for the help he needs. ######"}
{"prompt":"First of all, I’d like to state that I’m a black woman (early 20’s) who was adopted into a *mostly* Caucasian family as a baby. I don’t want to go into more specific details for identity reasons but I feel like that’s important to mention.\n\nAnyway, my mom and my younger sister are currently living in another state. I called my younger sister on the phone for her birthday and while I was talking to her, her boyfriend who is 100% white called another white guy (I know who he was talking to) a N*gger. He shouted it loud enough in the background that I heard it and it was a long awkward pause on my end with my sister, before I told her happy birthday and goodnight. I’ve honestly never heard anyone say that out loud and I talked to my mom about it the next day. \n\nI’d like to point out my sister’s boyfriend knew I was on the phone with her and said to tell me he says hello. He was really nice when I visited them for a few weeks and never said anything like that.\n\nAnyway, I’m not sure how to feel or what to think. I’ve been ignoring it because I highly doubt I can convince my sister to breakup with this guy, they’ve been dating for almost a year and he makes her really happy. He grew up in a rural small town as opposed to the city like us. He would 100% get jumped here if he said that. At that school they go to, there is only one black kid and she’s only half a black. Not deliberately, that part of the state just happens to be very white. My mom and my sister say they’re just ignorant up there, but they aren’t racist. My sister would never say that and told me she hates that the people up there say that sometimes.\n\nBut yeah, I’m pretty conflicted as it does kind of bother me but I sort of let it go since he wasn’t calling a black person\/me that out of hate. At the same time I feel like I should be upset, especially since I’m black. I don’t know... Would I be an asshole if I don’t make a big deal about this? Not trying to ask for advice just wondering what you guys think. ######","completion":" NTA. You've got to call out racism at every turn. Never allow it to be swept along with excuses. Make as much noise about it as possible. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so my boyfriend atm stays home and I work three 12s a week. That said, I like to meal prep so I don’t have to cook every day for my lunches. \n\nWell, my boyfriend, WHO STAYS HOME ALL DAY, thinks it’s a good idea to eat my lunches while i’m at work. I’ve asked him to stop but he says, “But your food is so good. Plus why don’t you make more so I can have some?” I’ve told him multiple times that I’m stressed and that I can’t make more meals because it’s a lot of work. \n\nSo he continued to eat my food. I remember that he HATES spicy food while I really enjoy it. So what do I do? Add spice. A lot of it. \n\nLast time he ate something of mine, he called me yelling at me. He said I was being an asshole and that I know he hates spicy food. I told him, “Tough. Stop eating my food then.”\n\nNow he’s mad at me....\n\nTl;dr- After asking my boyfriend NOT to eat my meal prepped food, I purposely made my latest meal preps SUPER spicy and now my boyfriend says I’m an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. You've asked him to stop. He didn't. The fact that he's mad because you made YOUR FOOD spicy just sounds super childish. Especially since he's purposely taking your prepped meal. Just keep it spicy. He'll learn or go crazy. Also does he not know how to make himself a meal? Sounds super lazy lol. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we’re both vegan and have been for years. \n\nLast year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have. \n\nShe’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food. \n\nUnfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse. \n\nWe went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets. \n\nWe’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it. \n\nWe’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not. \n\nThey’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat. \n\nWe don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away. \n\nThis has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat. \n\nAre we the assholes here? \n\n[cat tax](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/QFng2By.jpg) ######","completion":" NTA. You're vegan because you can, your cat is not because she can't. Seems stupidly simply for me. ######"}
{"prompt":"A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.\n\nThe wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.\n\nWell, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says \"I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!\"\n\nI thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.\n\nThe first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.\n\nFinally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like \"you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about\" and he said it was \"the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital\" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said \"you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate.\"\n\nThe confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.\n\nHe got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said \"maybe it's because I have different insurance\" because that's all I could think of.\n\nWell he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years. \n\nEveryone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You're the least person to be the asshole here. Obviously your brother-in-law had a lot of anxiety about being the father of the child, and for good reasons. Their happiness was based on very fragile foundations if learning about of hospital works can destroy it.   \nTo blame you seems to be an easy way out for people who want to deviate from the matter at hand -- that has nothing to do with you. Please don't let anyone make you the bad guy of this story, this wouldn't be healthy, for anyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.\n\nSo at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?\n\nBut she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)\n\nShe wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.\n\nThis time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. you're setting a perfectly reasonable boundary. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.\n\nI wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.\n\nAfter turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.\n\nToday we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.\n\nI'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.\n\nAm I the asshole for spending my earned money? ######","completion":" NTA. You're right, you're a kid. You have no bills, and you're even so responsible that you're saving more of it than originally agreed. \n\nI got my first job when I was 16. I don't know why, but the first thing I did with my first paycheck was buy a cake. Like a big plain sheet cake. I don't even like cake. But the freedom to just buy a cake when it wasn't my birthday was exhilarating. I ate like two pieces and gave the rest to my family. \n\nYou are most likely going to spend a good portion of your life not having enough money to buy something you want, whether it's a new brow pencil or a new car. It's coming. Enjoy this time now. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free\n\nI got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house. \n\nShe defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them. \n\nI lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######","completion":" NTA. You're right, she shouldn't expect people to do things for free. Paying him shows that you value his labor, and tbh he shouldn't have to grovel for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes. \n\nWhen I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude. \n\nNow I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol. \n\nI just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######","completion":" NTA. You're right to call her out on her rude comments. Even if someone is making rude comments because they're hormonal, you're justified in calling them out. People who do\/say rude things impulsively due to hormones or an acute stressor usually show remorse for what they say. Your friend isn't showing any of that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, before the virus. We were on a college study abroad, and this one girl (21) who ill call M, repeatedly grabbed my (19) butt. It took me raising my voice slightly after telling her to stop multiple times for her to actually stop.\n\nTowards the end of the trip, M told the group that our bus driver had grabbed *her* butt. She was saying how uncomfortable it made her, and tbh that bothered me. I of course understand why it would bother her. And im sorry it happened to her. It was wrong of the bus driver to do that, full stop. However, during this conversation I said \"now you know how I felt the other day,\" in reference to when she had done the same to me.\n\nShe was very angry i said that, and tried to say that it wasnt the same thing at all. But in my eyes, it was literally the exact some thing she did to me, after i asked her to stop until she could tell I was angry.\n\nSo, AITA for saying that? I feel like my point stands, but I can see how maybe that wasnt the time to say it. Thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA. You're right that she is totally entitled to feel uncomfortable that the bus driver did that. But double standards don't work. Maybe it will be a wake up call for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time. \n\nAbout two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet. \n\nThe issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice. \n\nHere is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments. \n\nHe also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me. \n\nThis is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house. \n\nWould I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it? \n\nTdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?\n\nEdit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######","completion":" NTA. You're pregnant. He's not. If you decide to give birth he needs to know but it's none of his business if you terminate. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father who I haven’t seen since I was 3 recently died.  My sister who had been having some troubles moved in with him about a year ago after burning bridges with all of my mom’s family after she got pregnant and ran away from home.  She’s only 15.  I recently turned 18 and my dads family is looking to me to be involved in his estate and funeral. I don’t have any interest.  There may be some life insurance and they keep asking me about that to pay for his funeral and asking what I can pitch in even if there is no life insurance.  I don’t feel any real connection to this man. Hadn’t spoken to him for years before his death and he paid no child support while I was growing up. If there is life insurance I intend to split the money with my sister. I made it clear to my aunt, that life insurance or not, I’m not paying for the funeral.  His family think I have an obligation to and that I’m being a jerk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're only 18! It's okay to let your father's family handle his funeral. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be.  I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.  \n\nI do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8.  When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.  \n\nMy mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.   \n\nAm I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not the parent. Your mom is pissed because she had to deal with your sister's mood and is looking for someone to blame; she's not assuming her responsibilities towards your sister's nightly routine. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.\n\nHe's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did. \n\nso, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not ready yet and noone (even family) should be asking you to do things you're uncomfortable with. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language. \n\n\nThrowaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad. \n\n\nI (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.\n\n\nBasically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this\n\n\nGay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you. \n\nMe: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend. \n\nGG: That's all you're going to say? \n\nMe: Yeah? What am I supposed to say? \n\nGG: Don't you like me back? \n\nMe: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship. \n\nGG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))\n\nMe: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you\n\nGG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))\n\n\nOf course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.\n\n\nso reddit\n\nAITA for not liking a gay girl? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not obligated to return someone's feelings for you, and it's totally inappropriate for her to try and throw a wrench in your relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother left when I (18F) was 9 years old, seemingly never to be heard from again. I was sad about it of course, but not *too* sad as we never got along. She was very cruel to me, and she very obviously favored my brother (20M). She always took his side when we fought, she always wanted to spend time with him and not me. Basically every memory I have of her is her reprimanding me for something. \n\nShe has recently... resurfaced. After not hearing from her for nine whole years, I got a phone call. She asked if she could see me and I said no.\n\nWell, I ended up telling my brother and he says I'm being unfair and I should give her chance because she was abused by our father and it's not her fault. I don't know if she was abused (never saw anything suspect) but even if she was, that still doesn't excuse the way she treated me, in my opinion. And she owes me an apology at the very least. Truthfully, I just don't want her in my life. Even if she gave me an apology, I don't want to bother with her. She caused me so much pain, I literally grew up thinking she didn't love me. I kind of still think that tbh, I found out she has been sending letters and birthday cards to my brother the entire time, and not me.\n\nSo... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not obligated to have a relationship with her and she absolutely owes you an apology. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home.  It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point.  Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats.  I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it.   Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework.  She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so).   My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk.  He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more.  So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't.  It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today.  Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not favouring your son over your daughter. You set the expectations in order to get a reward (if doing chores can be considered a reward even with money!). He met them, she didn't.\n\nHopefully she learns her lesson and starts doing her homework and chores! ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not even ordering shellfish, so why is Chinese food a problem? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse. \n\nFor the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24\/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained. \n\nLast night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're not complaining about him talking over his worries, you're simply saying you can't be his \"only outlet,\" which is perfectly legitimate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends\/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.\n\nA couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me. \nHowever, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling\/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.\n\nI finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.\n\nNow I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay. \nWhat should I do? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're never obligated to spend time with anyone, and it's pretty common to no longer hang out with a bf\/gf after they split from your sibling unless you had gotten really close. Especially if the other person had cheated. That's almost always a \"fuck you, we're done' situation.\n\n\nIt's weird of P to have gotten so attached to you so quickly, think you'd still hang, and then run to your brother with lies\/exaggeration when you said no. ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.\n\nMy dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, just dislikes it.\n\nFor the past two months, I have been administrating my dogs drops in the morning. My parents said they'd handle the pills and nightly drops. Two weeks ago I mentioned the pills and found out my dad wasn't giving them to her. I talked to him and so far he's been better.\n\nFor the past two weeks, I've found the drop containers in the same place I leave them every morning. I've told my parents this multiple times and they always have an excuse. Yesterday, I told my mom how annoyed I was and she said she'd set alarms and give drops every night. \n\nThis morning I came downstairs to find the drops where I left them. My mom said \"Hey, how are you?\" And I said \"I'm disappointed that even after our conversation yesterday you still couldn't be bothered to give the dog her drops.\" My mom blew up at me, cited the 'I am the parent and you are the child' and, as always, had numerous issues that prevented her from giving drops yesterday. \n\nShe tried to relate it to me not taking out the garbage. We didn't have a long conversation about the garbage.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're mom is a shitty person. She is too lazy to care for the wellbeing of the dog. You'll have to do it yourself ######"}
{"prompt":"I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind. \n\nSeveral of my friends have now expressed that they think it's \"covert racism\" and \"culture appropriation\" because my Animal Crossing character is black.\n\nI'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine. \n\nI've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options. \n\nI keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different. \n\nI ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...\n\nSeriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game. \n\nTL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######","completion":" NTA. You're just picking a character without the intent of representing yourself. If you had a black bitmoji that would be another thing because that's intended to be an avatar of yourself, but this is more of a roleplay situation. You create whatever character you want, that's the fun of video games. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my brother is a twitch streamer he isnt huge but he averages around 100 to 150 concurrent viewers during stream. He does it full time while going to college. When he streams I(14M) use it as background noise and normally lurk. Today I decided to say something in chat and he ignored it which whatever streamers ignore messages all the time but I talked in chat every couple minutes. Never brought up any affliction with him never said he was my brother I was just acting like a normal viewer. He then went on a bathroom break for the stream and went and knocked on my door telling me to stop talking in his twitch chat. I asked why and he said becuase my mods on my stream know who you are. I asked why that's a problem I am friends with one of his mods none of them said anything about me being there. Well he went back to his room and went back to streaming. I then said something in chat and he muted me for 48 hours. Am I missing something here? I didnt ask for mod. I didnt bring up that I was his brother so people in his chat would pay attention to me I just watching a stream like i would any other stream. ######","completion":" NTA. You're just a normal viewer. I'm sorry he's treating you poorly. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.\n\nRecently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're her kid. She did that to you. He has kids with her. Fair warning. If she doesn't like having to own being a shit person, she shouldn't be a shit person in the first place. And it's not your fault she hid her shit. How were you to know she didn't even mention you existed, let alone she bailed on you (and your sibs). That's all on her. That's her shit show. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc. \n\nNow here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting\/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine. \n\nToday, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes. \n\nSo, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######","completion":" NTA. You're definitely right. It is sad that your sister has to suffer but still you deserve your life and your freedom. \nYour support won't be less valid if it comes 20 Minutes later, 2 hours later or even 2 days later. \nYou're not responsible for your sisters condition, you shouldn't be treated as if you were just because she has a disease and you don't. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out \n\nDisclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.\n\nOk so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).\n\nNow I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted  legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.\n\nAll this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best). \n\nNow I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding. \n\nSo I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.\n\nI don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.\n\nSo would I be the asshole here?\n\nExtra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.\n. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.\n.He’s asked me for things in the past such as       some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ######","completion":" NTA. You're brother needs to learn some boundaries and your parents need to take your side on this. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory. My grandma (64F) has never had her own place and has always lived with someone her whole life. I have a two year old and a five month old and after hearing her complaining about not getting to see family and my mom kicking her out my husband (32M) and I (23F) offered her a place to stay at our house two states away.\n\nSo heres my issue. She isn't required to pay anything here. Doesn't help with rent or bills or groceries. All I've asked is for a little help with the kids in the mornings as my husband works nights and I use night to study my courses.\n\nEverything started out great. She was helpful and seemed to be enjoying the few hours in the morning with the greatgrands. Over the past several months she's begun taking three to four days every week and a half to drive three hours away to see her old boyfriend. Ok. No problem there.\n\nThen she's begun to step outside to smoke every hour or so and stays outside for 45mins- a hour. Still no problem.\n\nNow on top of all that she's begun complaining when my husband doesn't wake up at 7am when she normally is up and when the kids are up by 8am. He typically works till 1-2am and I'm up and down all night with the youngest. Like this is mainly the reason she moved in.\n\nSo WIBTA if I suggest that it seems the kids are stressing her out to much and she should move in with her boyfriend? Or even suggest she start helping with bills regularly? ######","completion":" NTA. You're being very generous and she's taking advantage of you while also trying to control your household. Kicking her out or forcing her to pay rent are reasonable options. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this. \n\nSo they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people. \n\nShe says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.\n\nWell, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about. \n\nMy mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.” \n\nAnd I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”\n\nShe was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”\n\nI was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”\n\nShe was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.” \n\nBut it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience. \n\nSo, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?\n\nOn a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######","completion":" NTA. You're analogy is solid. She just didn't like being called out on her bull shit ######"}
{"prompt":"I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You're an adult. There's very little room for questioning what the purpose of that site is. If the dude is on it, he knows that it's not a standard dating site. The reason you're running into so much push-back is because that website is also full of liars and scam artists. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first post on this subreddit so here goes nothing.\n\nHey I’m a (18M) and never had dated before. Never even kissed a girl. Haha embarrassing right? My mom absolutely forbade me from dating in highschool saying “focus on grades, not girls.” I went along with this notion and did pretty well for myself.\n\nNow I have wrapped up my first year of college and have witnessed three of my crushes end up with boyfriends and can honestly not take the heartache anymore. I want to start dating.\n\nI’m a premed major and my classes take a lot of time and effort but I feel like I can add a girlfriend into the mix and do fine. My mother doesn’t want me to and believes I should keep “close friends “ and after undergrad I could ask one of these “close friends “ if I want to date.\n\nI want to ask out this girl who is in my major but don’t want to be viewed as a “bad son” for having a secret girlfriend.\n\nWhat makes it worse is that my older sister attends the same small university I do and if she saw me with a girlfriend she would tell my mom about it.\n\nTLDR: WIBTA if I got a girlfriend behind my mother’s back? ######","completion":" NTA. You're an adult, go have fun but stay safe and be responsible! \n\nAlso, keeping \"close friends\" to date later on will not work. There's no guarantee they'll be single at that point, or view you as more than a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.\n\nLast week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.\n\nThis morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ######","completion":" NTA. You're already raising her first child, and she cut you off because you didn't think it was a good idea for her to have another, especially since it sounded like she wanted you to raise the second one as well. That's a bs reason to cut you off and it sounds like your sons know that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This one is kinda a confusing situation that happened a while ago but I still sometimes wonder I’m im the AH. I (17m) has a close friend (17f) my junior year and we planned on going to junior prom together. Well it just so happened that later on in the year I had gotten a girlfriend and she had gotten a boyfriend. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to prom with me to my junior prom but she said no and she didn’t want to go to prom with my grade and my friends. My girlfriend at the time was a senior btw. I still decided to go to senior prom with my girlfriend. However I was still planning on going to junior prom with my friend group (mostly guys). Later on my friend from the beginning, her boyfriend couldn’t make it to prom so she asked if I wanted to go with her as friends like we had originally planned on. I first told my girlfriend about it and she seemed okay with it and also I was friends with this girl way before my girlfriend and we never had any intention on dating ever. Prom rolls around the corner and I go with my female friend and my girlfriend and her boyfriend don’t come out of their own choices. After the prom is over my girlfriend is really mad at me and refused to talk to me. Giving off very jealous vibes. She was always very jealous of my friend because my friend was more attractive then her but yet again if me and this friend ever planned on dating it would have happened way before and I reassured my girlfriend many times of this. So I just wanna know AITA for going to junior prom with my friend? ######","completion":" NTA. You're allowed to go to prom with a friend of the opposite gender, you're allowed to hang out with a friend of the opposite gender.\n\nIt would be good to have a talk with your GF, try and reasure her, and get her to understand you and this friend are only friends. Cause being with someone who gets this jealous over this, isn't good nor healthy. Who's to say if it continues, she'll make you chose between her or friend, or make you stop hanging out or talking with friend just to make herself feel better. \n\nThat kind of relationship isn't worth it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids; 8, 6, and 4. They love to ride bikes and we live in a relatively safe neighborhood so I let them ride around the(fairly small) block as long as they stick together and do NOT go off track. Around the block only, no crossing the street \n\n\nThe other day they went off track because they found some mysterious cage(turned out snapping turtle eggs that someone put a cage over). It was just across the street, not a huge deal. They were fine \n\n\nThat said, a rule was broken. So I punished them. No going around the block for the rest of the day(and this was at 9:30am so it really was a whole day).\n\n\nMy husband thought it was harsh because it was a harmless move. No one got hurt or kidnapped, they saw something cool\/educational, and they only went just across the street for a few minutes.\n\n\nI thought it was more of a principal rule and figured if we allow this, they’ll push their luck for more later and end up lost or hurt.\n\n\nI’m open to discussing a bigger biking circle than just around the block but that needs to be discussed, not something they can decide for themselves, especially when their 4 year old sibling is with them. ######","completion":" NTA. You're a parent, you made rules, the kids need to know that your rules have to be followed and actions have consequences. That being said, give them an alternative. Like, if they see something cool they come tell you and you go with them\/give them one-time permission. And\/or sit down with them and explain that, if they feel a rule is unfair or should be amended, they should feel free to come to you with their feelings and you will listen to their arguments and make decisions accordingly. The power is still with you, but teaching them to advocate for themselves is always a good idea. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.\n\nI’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.\n\nAbout a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister. \n\nI found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.\n\nAITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?\n\nEdit:\n\n1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to. \n\n2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.\n\n3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited. \n\n4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ######","completion":" NTA. You're 21, both your parents are dead, and it sounds like your life from your early years onward has been challenging, to say the least. Your dad presumably realised this, and tried to make up for it by leaving you the bulk of his assets. Was it a wise move on his part? Probably not. He should have foreseen that it would cause conflict. But you're not TA for accepting what is legally yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home. \n\nThis evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######","completion":" NTA. You're 21 and you're not his kid. I used this on my brother (father of 4) once when we were walking and talking it started to sound a lot like a lecture. I told him \"Don't use your dad voice with me. I'm not one of your kids.\" It brought him up pretty short. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).\n\nThe blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom \"mom\" most of the time but refer to me as \"mom's kid\" or \"step brother\" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.\n\nMy dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.\n\nI am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet.  I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's.  The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:\n\n1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more\n2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps\n3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one. \n\nWIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ######","completion":" NTA. You're 17 now? That's plenty old enough to decide where you want to stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17M) program as a hobby. I've been pulling all nighters working on a project with my friends and on my free time I play CSGO and Hypixel Skyblock. My mom recently put locks on my laptop and blocked certain programs that are essential to my hobby (vscode, unity, etc) Luckily for me I found a loophole that allows me to bypass her locks by creating a new windows account using a throwaway email. She's always been like a helicopter parent and I've gotten used to it but it still pisses me off that she treats me like I'm 12. ######","completion":" NTA. You're 17 not 12. She should be less controlling. Also, good on you for bypassing them! Lots of kids suffer under North Korea-style surveillance and strict content restrictions imposed by their parents every day. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.\n\nThey have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again. \n\nI am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house. \n\nWIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ######","completion":" NTA. You'd ruin his life anyway by letting him think crime is okay ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######","completion":" NTA. You will likely get some push back from the family, and you have to decide whether or not it’s worth dealing with the fallout from that. Are you both planning on taking a new last name when you get married? If the two of you and your child would all share a totally new last name, that would make sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say \"I'll get back to you\" or \"sure maybe next week\" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like \"sure I'm free this weekend or \"I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure\" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like \"I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know\". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ######","completion":" NTA. You weren’t rude or malicious, you just said it how it is. Hopefully they’ll learn they can’t just leave people waiting on them to make plans. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is 5 years older and ever since his first word I've been speaking to him in Arabic just as my mother did with me. He's picking the language up pretty quickly and I'm also teaching him French and German as I know it's easier for children to pick up languages. I've also been teaching him about Islam through bed time stories and he's started to copy me when I do my prayers which just melted my heart.\n\nBefore he was born I had a discussion with my wife that I'd like to raise our Children as Muslims but I'm not going to force it upon them and they can choose when they grow up. I did have my son circumcised however, with my wife's consent, for medical reasons as well. \n\nIt's currently the month of Ramadan which means I'm fasting from sunrise to sunset, when my son learn this he wanted to copy me. He was having lunch with my wife whilst I was working in my office and asked where I was. He then refused to eat and said he wanted to be like me. I had a talk with him and explained he was too young and he needs to eat so he can be big and strong like me. He still wants to try however so we agreed on him doing half days like we usually do with children.\n\nMy wife is very unhappy however and has said that it's unfair we're bonding over so many things and she feels like he's ignoring her. She agreed that languages are useful to him, but she wants me to stop teaching him Arabic and wants me to do my \"Muslim stuff\" away from him. ######","completion":" Nta. You weren't forcing your son. You were doing it and like a normal kid, he's copying what his parent is doing\n\nIf your son likes it then I don't see why not. Maybe she can learn it as well so that it would be a bonding thing for all of you ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m not a tech guy but I know more than anyone in my family and whenever there is a hiccup I am called to fix it.  I was full on asleep when my oldest brother yelled for me to wake up.  When I got out the WiFi wasn’t working and he basically demanded I fix it’s. I wasn’t looking for a fight and I just humored him.  \n\nIt wasn’t working and I got more annoyed then my other brother said I’m doing it all wrong and basically pushed me out of the way while he worked on it (he doesn’t know anything about tech) and then my other brother tried to fix it.  They both were struggling and were getting more mad, I told them to just let me deal with it.  But when they were both done trying they both BLAMED ME for not fixing it.  \n\n(This is where I maybe TA) I said “I WAS fixing it till you 2 assholes pushed me out of the fucking way.  You know what?  Fuck you both you always pull this shit.”  \n\nI then put on my shoes and went for a walk, when I got back the WiFi was working again.  But my brothers were all passive aggressive towards me which really pissed me off but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to start anything.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You were woken up and then they prevented you from continuing to help. Cussing at siblings depends on the dynamic but I'd assume more often than not siblings are comfortable enough with one another to handle that language. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F23) am currently staying at my girlfriend’s (26) apartment and yesterday she wasn’t feeling well. She had really bad cramps, was throwing up and had a really bad headache. We were out of medicine and groceries so I went out to get some. \n\nI picked up the medicine and went into the grocery store, trying to get to the checkout as fast as possible. I was really lucky that there was no line and was already unloading my cart when a pregnant women asked me if I could let her in front of me. Normally, I would have said yes but her cart was bursting and I had to catch the next bus. Maggie has a car but I don’t drive it because of insurance issues. I really didn’t want to wait for the next bus because I didn’t want to leave Maggie alone for too long and I really didn’t have that many items. I wouldn’t have gone grocery shopping in the first place but the pharmacy is right next to the store and we really needed a few things. \n\nI told the lady that my girlfriend was sick at home and I would hurry up packing the groceries into my backpack. The lady started screaming that I shouldn’t treat her like that and that young people nowadays don’t know how to behave. She yelled that she needed to sit down and that I would take to long packing up my things. I ignored her, paid and left. In the moment I felt like I was right, but now I‘m overthinking it. My gf is touched that I was so worried about her and the lady was just plain rude. But what if she was really feeling unwell. \n\nWas I the asshole here ? ######","completion":" NTA. You were totally fine.  Don’t think twice about this. ######"}
{"prompt":"This ended up in a breakup and to be honest would have resulted in a break up no matter which way it was handled, and I realized that at the time so I handled it the way I did.\n\nMe and my ex had been together for about four years before this, we adopted a dog together in our first year together and had been raising it. However last November the dog came down with cancer, estimated costs for treatment run 5-10k USD and it's not guaranteed, like maybe 50\/50 and even if the dog survives it's not going to live a normal life.\n\nNormally we contribute 50\/50 to the dog's expenses. The problem is it wasn't possible for my ex to contribute the 5k because of a recent layoff. As for me, I'd recently purchased a cello (I am a cello player, played for 15 years and am insanely passionate about it) for about 15k, and it was still late in the refund period when our dog came down with its diagnosis. I had almost no savings because it was all spent on the cello.\n\nRefunding the cello would have been the only way to come up with the money for the treatment since we were surviving on only my income for the time being and had no excess funds. Frankly i refused and pointed out everything I said here. In the end our dog passed away and we broke up over it, and my ex moved out of my home. I still have doubts whenever I play my cello, but overall I don't regret my decision.\n\nI wonder how reddit would judge me though? ######","completion":" NTA. You were put in an impossible situation: try to save the life of your dog (maybe without being 100% sure about the recover) and lose your only income or keeping it but loosing your dog. \nI’m sorry about your pet ######"}
{"prompt":"I enjoy singing but I am VERY bad at it admittedly.  I have no pitch or tone but I like to sing alone in my room usually to songs or I’ll even do karaoke by myself I know I’m bad but I like doing it, it’s fun and a stress reliever. I moved in with an roommate a couple months ago and he hates my singing (I don’t blame him) but I was singing in my room a few weeks after moving in and he had asked me to stop and not to do it when he’s home, I said sure it seemed like a reasonable request although I don’t sing that loud. Well the other day I thought my roommate was out and was singing some karaoke in my room and didn’t think he’d be home for a couple of hours. He ended up coming back early with a couple of friends and they heard me singing (I’d didn’t hear them come in as I had headphones in). Well he actually sent them home and BLEW up on me saying that I embarrassed him with my terrible singing and that no one should be singing like that unless they’re a professional.  he also doesn’t want me singing at all in the apartment. I apologized and said I didn’t know that they would be home but he’s still mad at me. But I don’t really feel like TA here. What do you guys think AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You were only singing hardly crime of the century. Do what you enjoy! Definite over reaction from your room mate. Maybe look for a new room mate who isn't so weird about you singing to yourself? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left. \n\nSome side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You were just doing your job. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the other night the girls parents were over at my house and I decided I would be somewhat of a nice person and make everyone a nice dinner even with the rocky past I have with them. (They don’t agree with me traveling for work a month at a time) \nWell whenever I would leave the living room to check on things in the kitchen I could hear snarky comments just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough so they could sound like they’re “trying” not to be heard. After about an hour of it my girlfriend told me what they were saying about me to her. I walked out of the kitchen and told them that they had to leave because I wasn’t going to be disrespected like that in my own home. My girl told me I could’ve handled it in a different way but I just couldn’t tolerate it in my own home aita? ######","completion":" NTA. You were giving an olive branch to people who do not respect you or your job. You were attempting to be kind but clearly they are childish. I think you can be kind but firm and ask someone to leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"So today I resigned from my job. I't was apparently a 'graduate position' and my first job out of college. As soon as I joined the company, the head of my department quit and 4 weeks later once she actually left, I was in charge of the department. I was responsible for all the clients accounts and was extremely stressful and I was not well equipped nor trained well enough for the job. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time and no one is around to help. So this affected my mental health badly. I told my boss this and gavethem warning that I was at risk of leaving. \n\nAt the start of this month all employees took a 20% wage reduction. As it was still considered a 'graduate position' I was on almost minimum wage. After the 20% cut I was below minimum wage and was given a contract to sign to consent to the reduction. I informed my employer of the potential illegal document and I got scalded for questioning this (she's a lawyer and was very butter that I would accuse her, a lawyer of creating an illegal contract. \n\nI requested my employer to put me on minimum wage which they rejected my request as they couldn't afford it. So I resigned today leaving the whole accounting service team with no members. \n\nEveryone at the firm hates me for it right now and have guilted me and made me feel like an asshole for leaving. Anyway that sums up the story more or less so let me know what you guys think. ######","completion":" NTA. You were given more responsibility than you had agreed to beforehand without being offered another position or pay raise. On top of that nobody taught you how to do your job. To have the audacity to try and cut your pay to below minimum wage after that is just despicable.\n\nYou gave them a fair warning that it was taxing on your mental health and they didn't heed your warning. They brought it on themselves! ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby. \n\nMy baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, \"No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me.\" He hesitated, but then he said, \"I'll be out in time.\"\n\nHe went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.\n\nHe came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty. \n\nHe saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You were doing something important that couldn't be interrupted, and you told him so. I think it's fair, and if he doesn't,  he might to consider what it would be like to spend the rest of the day with a screaming, overtired baby. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.\n\nMy Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.\n\nThrough a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.\n\nOur mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. You were broken up and bought the ticket with your own money!!! Keep all your winnings and stop talking to your ex!! Congratulations on a win!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.\n\nWe live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses\/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.\n\nWhen my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1\/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.\n\nLast week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.\n\nI mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.\n\nWe let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######","completion":" NTA. You were *never* going to get the unit they origonaly offered, getting you into their house was always their plan. If it wasn't they wouldn't have rented the unit. Well done for not falling for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi Reddit,\n\nI know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.\n\nA couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight &lt;she did not want to let go&gt;. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false). \n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You warned her that if she didnt leave youd call the police. Actually doing it let her know you're serious for the future if she tries something again. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom just unexpectedly died from cancer. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I really needed my boyfriend to fly home. I voiced that I would pay for his ticket, but he replied that he thought it would be better if I flew to his place on our already planned trip in a week. I have three kids who are devastated and this is really not possible anymore. He also has a flight here for June 6th but didn’t reschedule. \n\nAt first, the issue was he needed to be home to rent the open rooms in his house. But that has been mostly resolved and he’s shown no urgency. He has been there for me communicatively but I really just need to be held and cry.\n\nI wanted (needed) him here, and kindly voiced how it would mean a lot to me. However, I am at a point in my life where I won’t beg, nor try to change anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, right? This is causing me to seriously second guess if we are on the same page. AITA?\n\nHe also has traveled home during the pandemic, so respectfully that argument is null.\n\nEdit: Asking for opinions because obviously I want to bring this up, and am considering taking space or ending it if I am not the asshole, and he tries to make me feel like one. ######","completion":" NTA. You voiced your need and he has dismissed it. That is an awful to have in a partner. \n\nIf I was in this position I would honestly tell him that if he can't be there for your most desperate time in need, then he can keep his ass away for that June 6th trip. \n\nI'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry your partner is not realizing how they are a massive dick in this situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money. \n\nMy girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time. \n\nNow she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nEdit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######","completion":" NTA. You two need to have the money talk because if you arent on the same page financially, this relationship is doomed. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard... \n\nSo I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over... \n\nWe just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food.\n\nShe didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again. \n\nI was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter. \n\nWe got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate....\n\nIt’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us.... \n\nSo AITA for walking out on the bill? ######","completion":" NTA. You tried to pay for the starters and drinks. You weren’t walking out on the bill until they finally gave you attention to flag you down and pay for food you didn’t receive. Thats BS. It was fair to walk away. A good restaurant would have comped your food for the shitty service anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm married and have a 10yo son and a 11yo step-son. I don't have much of a relationship with my step-son's mom. I don't think she likes me. Fortunately, my son and step-son grew up together so they get along, go to the same school and hang out with the same friends. I went to go pick up my son from the park and my step-son was going to be picked up by his mom for the week. I didn't want to leave my step-son all by himself at the park so I stayed. His mom was suppose to be there at 4PM and it was already 4:30PM with no word from her. I tried calling, texting and emailing. Nothing. My husband on a plane so he wasn't going to pick up. \n\nI ended taking both kids back to our house. Around 5PM, I get a call from my step-son's mom bitching at me over taking her son back home. I explained that we waited an hour and tried to contact her. I didn't want to leave him all by himself at the park. She said I had no right to do that and I should have moved mountains to get my husband on the phone to discuss. There had been a miscommunication between her and my husband as my husband - he was in a different timezone when they coordinated his pickup so he was off by an hour. She used that hour to go to a spa hence her unavailability. My messages got buried under other messages. She said she was scared that something happened to her only child and I should have contacted her again and it was an asshole thing to do. ######","completion":" NTA. You tried to get a hold of her many times, and you wanted your step-son to be safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell. \n\nAs you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their \"so good for me\" and I \"would be crazy\" and a  \"asshole to let go of the friendship\". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.\n\nPersonally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. You told them something important to you in confidence, and they told others. That is extremely toxic behavior. You were right to drop them as a friend. Don't listen to others who say you are wrong. They aren't you. You were the one this happened to, and it was your choice to make. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some days ago one of my long term “friends” called my mother a cow for no reason in our group chat. He had been saying that to me and some other friends some for some days prior and we told him he was going too far and to stop because it was rude. He kept doing it and I once again told him to stop and that I’d fight him if he ever did it again. \n\nSo a couple of days later we were talking about Bernie Sanders dropping and I asked who they were planning on voting now. He said “ur mom” then in another message added “who happens to be a cow” so I told him off, told him I’d fight him if I ever saw him again, and kicked him out of the chat. I later asked him if he had a problem with me or why he was saying that about my mother and he said he was doing it because he thought it was funny and apologized but I didn’t accept his apology as I had already told him to stop and he had crossed the line for being unnecessarily rude. \n\nNow the rest of my “friends” are defending him saying he was just joking and they invited him back and now they are treating me like I am the asshole for not forgiving him. I then left the group chat and I haven’t talked to any of them since. Honestly I think I can’t be friends with anyone who can’t respect my mom especially after she did nothing but be super nice to all my friends. ######","completion":" NTA. You told him to stop. He did not. It's not just insulting your mom here, he clearly doesn't respect **you**. ######"}
{"prompt":"Weeks ago my friend Paul, who is a first time dog owner, told me that his puppy seemed a bit sad and didn’t want to play. I told him to go to the vet and have it checked because it could be something. He said he would do it that weekend. The next Monday I asked him how his dog is doing and what the vet’s diagnosis is. He said he didn’t get take the dog to the vet because he and his family had a cook out. I told him to make time because it’s one of his responsibilities as a pet owner, and he said he would. \n\nThe next week he told me that his dog threw up and asked what he should do to make it feel better. I said that it’s not uncommon for dogs to throw up, but he should really go to the vet because the last time my dog was lethargic, it turned out that he had ehrlichia which can be fatal if untreated, and vomiting is also a symptom of that disease. He said he would take his dog to the vet that weekend, but when Sunday came around and I asked him about his dog, he hadn’t taken it to the vet. \n\nToday he called me sounding very anxious and said that his dog didn’t want to eat so he finally took him to the vet the tests showed that his dog does have ehrlichia. He said he remembers me saying that it’s fatal, and he said he's really worried and he doesn’t know if he can take it if his dog dies. \n\nI told him and said that it’s rich for him to say that now, considering that his dog has been showing symptoms for weeks and I’ve been telling him to take it to the vet for weeks but he kept on putting it off. He needed only one hour in the past three weeks to go to the vet but he waited until things got worse. So now if anything happens to his dog, I think he can definitely ‘take it’ since he didn’t seemed concerned about it even though it hadn’t been itself for weeks. \n\nHe got angry at me and said that he was already feeling low and he just wanted my support as a friend and as someone who has been in this situation before but all I’m doing is blaming him. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You told him repeatedly what he should be doing and the potential consequences... He didn't listen. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty. \n\nI don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night. \n\nWith this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA?? \n\nAlso for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.\n\nTl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ######","completion":" NTA. You think it's bad now, it's only going to get worse later. You'll be happier with a hires cleaner minus a gf. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year. \n\nI don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.\n\nI bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me. \n\nAs for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as \"house stuff\" but luggage has never been one of them. \n\nAITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######","completion":" NTA. You spent a lot of money on it. They should buy their own. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.\n\nI sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.\n\nI could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You specifically mentioned you have a caffeine sensitivity and ordered decaf. Your friend is an AH for downplaying it and not taking your health seriously. Honestly she sounds like a bad friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently broke up with my gf because she was super abusive. Her sister is also abusive towards her fiancé and it comes from their abusive dad. A couple days after we broke up, the sisters fiancé texted me and asked what happened. I told him how abusive my ex was and I gave him examples of why. Less than a week later, his engagement was called off suddenly for unknown reasons. He then told me he realized that he was in the same shoes as me and didn’t notice that his relationship was toxic. He said he was happy and thanked me for opening his eyes. \n\nThe rest of the family found out and are blaming me for breaking apart the couple. I’ve been accused of ruining the sisters life. I told them it was the fiancés decision and I’m not responsible. They disagree and accused me of spreading lies to get back at my ex. I don’t feel bad at all but my friends tell me that I should have stayed out of it and that I’m an asshole. \n\nBTW both the sisters and the dad are in denial that they are abusive and manipulative. So they truly believe that I fucked everything up.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You spared him from a horrible marriage. No one should be in a relationship like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"AMITA\n\nThis might be a long post, so bear with me. \n\n\n\nSo my step dad works remotely due to COVID, but because of the significance of his position, he has to go into work Monday and Tuesday. I work 6 days a week, I'm up by 5:30 and out by 6:15ish, he's meant to be out at the same time. \n\nThe first time my mom asked me to wake him up, I went with it, thinking nothing of it. Then, the next week, she didn't ask me to wake him, so I didn't. I got a passive aggressive phone call from her later that day saying that he was late for work since I didn't wake him.\n\n I asked her why he needed someone to wake him up, she says he sleeps over his alarm. As a 62 year old man, and having such an important job, one would think he would get himself out of bed to get to work, but apparently not. \n\nI've known people that say they set multiple alarms, and still manage to sleep over them. I myself don't get it. I kinda feel like it's the person's responsibility to wake themselves up for work. I don't like being woken up by anything but my alarm clock, myself. \n\nI recently started leaving the house earlier, so I wouldn't be obligated to wake up a grown man so he can make it to work on time. \n\nAMITA for not wanting to be responsible for a grown ass man? ######","completion":" NTA. You shouldn’t be EXPECTED to do it. He should set multiple alarms if he can’t get up or use one of those super loud alarms or something. I’m so perturbed by the idea of a grown man expecting someone else to wake them up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \nMy sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile. \n\nMy husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around? \n\nWell due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding. \n\nHere’s where I feel like TA. \nI informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present. \nThis information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me. \n\nI’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. you shouldn't have to chauffer your daughter 12 hours over to a wedding you won't be attending, immunocompromised during a pandemic or not! they know she's a child and will want her parent after being at a wedding for hours, right? SIL is insane. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16m) mom is registered as a foster mom for emergencies. We've had many kids stay at our house for short periods of time. Usually it would be one kid at a time. However, last year, my mom was asked to temporarily let 3 kids stay with us. The mother of the 3 kids recently had a psychosis and the kids had no other family members living in the country. We were all a bit more emotionally connected to these kids, because they were the youngest we ever housed (6,7 and 10). Good news, after three months their mom recovered and they were allowed to go live with her again, but it only lasted shortly as their mom quickly relapsed again. Now my mom has just been asked if she wants to care for the children indefinetly, as their mom's current situation is not very promising.\n\nMy mom just asked me and my siblings about our opinion, but I was the only one who didn't want it. I told my mom my primary reason was because of the lack of space, and also because my parents are already quite old (my mom is 59 and my dad is 65) So I can't imagine that they'll be able to raise these young kids until they reach the age of 18.\n\nsome more info: I live in a 4 bedroom house with 3 other siblings and my parents. I have always had to share a room with my younger brother but my sister is leaving for college next year and I would finally have my own room. If the 3 kids come live with us, they will have to share one room, and my brother and I will have to share a room until I go to college. Especially now  it's very stressful being around so many people and I can't imagine always living like this. ######","completion":" NTA. You shouldn't have 8 people living in a four bedroom house. Obviously it's depending on who you ask. But they're already near\/in their sixties and will not be able to properly take care of these three children plus your siblings at that age. That also depends on who they are but it seems like you're concerned for their state of health AND the lack of space. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, I had to get this off of my chest because I’m still stewing about it. This happened yesterday. \n\nMy state is slowly lifting covid sanctions so my parents decided to drag me and my brother to a plant nursery. Afterward, we stopped by my parents’ friend’s house to drop off some trees we had bought for them. We were only supposed to stay for five minutes but parents never mean it when they say that. \n\nFor context, I’m in my twenties and I am lucky enough to live with my parents so I can aggressively pay off my student loans. I have a full time job that is about 14 hours a day and an hour commute one way. I’m writing this before work. So since I get up at 3am and have a long day ahead of me, I’m very strict with my sleep and aim to go to bed around 8pm. If I get less than 7 hours, I crash in the middle of the day. \n\nBasically what it boils down to is my parents were having a great time shooting the shit and getting drunk and I was anxious about everything I had to do the night before work. So when it got to be 6pm and they had been telling me we were leaving soon for the last two hours, and they were pouring more wine I said “please, no more wine, can we go home?” \n\nThis turned into a whole thing and I almost called an Uber but they ended up getting motivated to leave at around 6:30. So all the way home, for 30 minutes, I got lectured about how selfish I am and how I can’t make sacrifices for my family. I was so angry because the argument made no sense to me. Yeah, I do think my sleep is more important than you getting drunk with friends, do that on your own time without dragging me and my brother along. And I don’t care that you haven’t seen your friends in months, we’re in a pandemic, no one has seen their friends. But apparently I embarrassed them, ruined the mood, and need to relax about work. \n\nSo tell me reddit, which one of us is overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. You should've driven off and told them to get an Uber if they want to stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this short and simple. I have 2 kids, 5 grandkids. \n\n\nCarlie—has 2 kids, lives with me and has always lived close by. I’m very involved in my grandkids lives. I’ve always been the main childcare provider and as stated above, they live with me for the time being so I’m around them a lot.\n\n\nMeg—has 3 kids and has lived in another state since she went away to college 10 years ago. I see her and my grandkids roughly 3-4x a year. \n\n\nFor Easter I bought Carlie’s kids window paint and let them paint on the house and car windows. I also made bunny shaped pancakes.\n\n\nFor Meg’s kids I sent gifts—paw patrol figurine set, Jojo siwa craft set, and a lego set(1 gift for each kid) + a bubble gun for each kid + extra sand for their new sandbox. \n\n\n\nCarlie saw that I sent all this stuff to Meg’s kids(via Facebook) and started making passive aggressive comments about how her kids didn’t even get actual toys from me for Easter but my other grandkids did.\n\n\nIt later escalated to her saying that I am spoiling my other grandkids to punish her kids because they live with me(?? Not true at all). I have my reasons for gifting them so much—1) I buy random stuff for Carlie’s kids consistently throughout the year, when they go to the store with me or I happen to see something they’d like 2) I had plans to go visit Meg’s kids for spring break and would’ve bought them stuff then but that got canceled ######","completion":" NTA. You should tell Carlie that if she's concerned her kids are being shortchanged she should remember how much professional childcare is.\n\nAlso the time you spend with the kids is way more valuable than chocolate and plastic. Carlie sounds entitled, you  sound like a fantastic grandmother. ######"}
{"prompt":"A year ago, my grandfather passed away. He was the family patriarch and it was hard on all of us, but especially myself and my sister who he pretty much raised after our father passed.\n\nAt the funeral, I was most focused on my mom, my sister and making sure everything went as planned. I guess my sister noticed what people wore. A lot of people showed up and a few did show up in jeans. Others wore sneakers. My grandfather would not have cared. He went to church every Sunday and dressed up for grandma, but then changed as soon as we left service. Is it appropriate funeral attire? No. But it wasn’t like they wore bright colors or disrupted the service in my opinion. To my sister, it did and she feels it was the epitome of disrespect to not wear slacks and dress shoes. Everyone who went probably had nice clothes in their closet, but maybe didn’t want to wear them. Maybe they thought they were paying homage to Grandpa. I don’t know. Some are family members, some family friends.\n\nBut a year later and my sister is still pissed. She won’t talk to these family members and when before lockdown, we had my daughter’s communion. She refused to talk to these people. Recently, she went on a rant about it again. I told her she needed to get over it. She told me I was as insensitive as them and hung up. I wore a dress and stockings!\n\nAm I being an ass by thinking she needs to let it go and that it’s no big deal? ######","completion":" NTA. You should probably refer her to a therapist. This is a strange fixation to have that could have been triggered by grief. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all. I'm on mobile, so sorry for any formatting errors on my part.\n\nMe (30M) and my girlfriend (28F) have been together for 3 years and we have a baby girl that will soon be turning 2 this summer. My girlfriend wants to get our baby baptized and I am fully on board with this.\n\nI am an atheist now but I grew up Catholic. At first I was on the fence about baptizing our baby but after some thought I said I was totally fine with it. So my girlfriend starting looking into churches to get this done at (before the lockdown). She told me about a few places but we would have to join the church our baby gets baptized at. I'm not ok with joining a church.\n\nSome background: As before, I grew up Catholic but no longer a believer. As a child, I was not treated well in the church. I won't go into details but my girlfriend knows about my experiences and is insisting that I join the church with her to get our baby baptized.\n\nI told her I'm happy to support our baby getting baptized at the church but I do not want to join one or attend one, except for the baptizing ceremony. I said if she wants to go to church, she is free to do so as it's not my right to stop her. I said my experiences really left a sour taste in my mouth and I don't want to go back to the source of a childhood trauma.\n\nMy girlfriend said I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking of our baby. We haven't spoken about this since the lockdown started.\nI'm starting to wonder if I'm out of line here and if I'm being a jerk.\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You should never be forced to go somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable and unsafe ######"}
{"prompt":"Title pretty much says it all. My friend was checking on my cats while I was on vacation (this was last year). Basically I was supposed to pay her $20\/day for the week.\n\nThen (while I was on vacation), apparently she somehow ran over the light post in my yard. It broke in half and she tore out some of the underground electrical, along with one of my most beloved plants. Thankfully I was able to save my plant. I know that sounds dumb but it took me forever to actually get this thing to thrive.\n\nMy friend offered to pay for it, so I had some electricians come out and look at it and they all recommended I use my home owners deductible to get it fixed, which is $500. I believe the cheapest contractor was $800. After she heard the estimate, she spazzed and said she couldn’t pay that. So I said I would keep the money I owed her for cat-sitting and pay the rest of the deductible. She got upset and said that wasn’t our agreement, but I don’t really want to pay her after needing to pay this deductible for something that was blatantly her fault.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. You should file a claim against her auto insurer to recover the cost of your deductible. If she is insured, her auto insurance should cover property damage she does with her vehicle. ######"}
{"prompt":"I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good.\n\nI leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit.\n\n30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time.\n\nI ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe.\n\nGiven that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip.\n\nIn my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. You should contact Uber Eats and get a refund. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we were all at dinner once and my brother asked why we didn’t say grace, because his girlfriends family said grace. \n\nMy mom said that we could say grace if he wanted to, and so we did. Now she wants us to do it every night before dinner, but I just refuse to. She always seems annoyed when I refuse to join the family.\n\nJust a little background - I’m not religious, I could care less if there was a god or not, I just don’t have any reason to believe there is. My parents took us to church like twice in our entire lives, and they’re somehow surprised I’m not religious.\n\nSorry if this is rushed, if you need more info feel free to ask :) ######","completion":" NTA. You should be allowed to just bow your head and think about other things while the rest of the family takes part. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my (16F) mom (50) told me that she recorded me singing in the shower from outside the door. Later, one of her friends was over and asked me if I would sing. My mom said that she showed him the video. I didn't say much then, but today, I brought it up and told her she shouldn't record me without my permission or send it to other people. \n\nShe almost immediately started screaming at me, saying she never said anything about showing someone else, and that she recorded it for herself because I never sing for her when she asks. It seems like a pretty big deal to her. I get the feeling now she's going to be mad at me for the next few weeks. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You should be allowed to have your boundaries without being shamed\/yelled at for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers. \n\nMy mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot. \n\nI take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.\n\nThe thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”\n\nAt this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.\n\nWhen I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.\n\nI am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You should be able to shower in peace ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.\n\nMy brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat. \n\nI said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######","completion":" NTA. You set a reasonable boundary. You do not need to cross the line in the sand. I am sorry for your loss. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it. \n\nOne day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You set a boundary that she agreed to, then crossed it knowing you were uncomfortable. It would be different if she'd been going out with the guy for a while, but not a stranger. You're in the right. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) have a 6 year old son. I’m a highschool dropout and my family cut me off when I was pregnant with him. when I was kicked out my friend took me in so I wouldn‘t be homeless. I started working on retail and got back on my feet ,I‘ve been renting an apartmant for 2 years now and got a better job\n\nI started doing drugs at 17 and sleeping around at 16. Two years after my son was born he was taken away,my sister got custody of him, because I was niglecting him and my friend had to work,so she couldn‘t take care of him. She was the one who called CPS. she was also the one to convince me to go to rehab.I’m forever thankful for her\n\nI‘ve been clean for almost 3 years and won custody of my son back a little after I started living by myself.I know I screwdup REAL BAD and I try to make up for it everyday. I love my son more than I ever loved anyone,I hate myself for what i did to him. He gets good grades and I do my best to help him in everyway I can. I don‘t know if he remembers what happened but it breaks my heart everytime he does something that is a consaquence of what I did to him \n\nMy family recently started trying to reconsile with me because they want to be apart of my sons life and I gave them a chance. But their telling me all the time that my son should of been raised by my sister. My sister is on my side and she knows I’m taking care of him but all the other relatives think he isn‘t in good hands .My mom thinks I don‘t deserve him because of what I did. I‘m not going to give up custody of him but I want to know am I wrong for getting him back? ######","completion":" NTA. You screwed up, but you did what you needed to do in order to get your life together and get your son back. You deserve to raise your son and he deserves to be raised by his mother if that’s the healthiest situation for both of you. Fuck what your family says. If they can’t be supportive, cut them out. Your son doesn’t need to be around people who are disrespectful of his mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for about 4 months now. This is our only real problem right now. \n\nThe small arguments we had, he refused to talk about it and 'solved' it by getting me flowers and chocolates, or another gift. The first time I thought he was maybe nervous, or wanted to keep the peace since this was our first argument. But it's happened several times. \n\nI told him it makes me uncomfortable, that instead of learning how to navigate problems together and communicate effectively it feels like he just wants to 'buy forgiveness' and move on. \n\nHe said something pretty offensive about my family last week, I explained why I didn't like what he said and asked if we could talk about it. He told me he didn't want to fight and hung up, and showed up the next day with a pretty expensive necklace. I told him it's a nice gesture, but I don't want a necklace, I want us to be able to talk about these things. He got frustrated and left, calling me ungrateful. \n\nThe next day he sent a bouquet of flowers. We're both getting frustrated at this point. But I don't think we can just keep doing this, we have an argument, he buys me something, we move on and never talk about it? That doesn't seem healthy. \n\nAITA for not just forgiving him? ######","completion":" NTA. You say this is your only issue, but it is a BIG one. It's an indicator that he has no intention of facing his own flaws or learning how to communicate with you in a healthy or productive way, especially about important things like respecting your family. \n\nIt's really sad that he has developed a belief that money will let him get away with whatever he wants. Maybe one day he'll meet someone who only wants him for his money, and he'll have found his perfect match. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been saving up in order to move out in order to escape my mother for my own sanity. While checking my online statements with my bank app I found out my mom has taken over $700 out of my account, not counting the 200 i loaned to her. \n\nTo say I was pissed is an understatement but I'm too afraid to confront her, so I just decided to move all my money into a new account without her knowledge.\n\nYesterday our dog got hurt and now she's limping, my mom took her to the vet and came home around thirty minutes later, demanding to know where all my money is.\n\nI asked her what she was talking about and she started yelling at me, saying that 'you need to put the money back' and 'i need it in case of emergencies like this!' I tried telling her that if she needed money I would loan it to her and she just needed to ask but all I got back was 'You live under my roof, the least you can do is help me without me having to ask for it.' \n\nMy family is devided, they know cuz afterwards my mom called my relatives to complain about me, on if I'm an asshole or not for moving the money without my mother's knowledge.\n\nAITA?\n\n(Edit: I am currently 18 and work full time. I pay rent and part of our phone bill while having chores. I told her I'd pay for the dogs appointment but my mom is refusing until i put the money back) ######","completion":" NTA. You saved up the money for yourself and it's your money. Nobody has the right to use it without asking you first ######"}
{"prompt":"It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself &amp; I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job &amp; easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad &amp; becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call\/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up &amp; not the other. \n\nSo, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky &amp; talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######","completion":" NTA. You saved him from getting fired, and is now mad he got written up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay for background information, I’m 18F and just recently lost my virginity a month ago. I’ve been regularly sleeping with the guy since losing it. There was a day where the condom broke and it made me start thinking about getting on birth control so that I’m double protected, I was a little hesitant at first because of all the side effects so I decided to go to the doctor and talk about my options. She ended up prescribing me the pills and I guess my mom’s number is connected to my pharmacy profile because she gets a text saying that the birth control pills have been filled. She starts blowing up my phone asking why I got birth control so I told her...\n\nNow she’s been going off on me saying I’m a disappointment and that I’m stupid for having sex and I just don’t understand? I feel like in my generation sex is just such a normal and talked about thing. I’m 18 and starting college this year.. if I didn’t lose it now I would’ve definitely ended up losing it in college anyways. But she’s starting to make me feel kinda guilty about it.. saying that I’m not the daughter she raised and she expected better of me. Also she’s mad over the fact that I didn’t tell her but I find that kinda weird and an invasion of privacy. I feel like it’s none of her business what I choose to do with my body. But I’ll ask you guys, AITA for having sex and for not telling her about it? \n\nBTW I never brought the guy into our house, I find that disrespectful. ######","completion":" NTA. You said it, sis. It’s really none of her business, and you’re doing the right thing by not bringing the person over if your mom doesn’t allow it. Being on birth control (or alternatives) is a good thought too. But no, it’s absolutely normal to be having sex and her making you feel guilty about it is probably just her projecting her own insecurities on you, and that’s absolutely not fair. ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me. \n\nOn the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said \"oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip\" and so I asked, \"then how did you sleep?\" \n\nHe looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for \"body heat\" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######","completion":" NTA. You said it yourself, he has already established that bed sharing is a boundary for him, and you agreed. Violation number 1. \n\nThen, he gets a deer in the headlights look when you question him about his sleeping arrangement, indicating he didn't intend to tell you about the issue and instead meant to lie and keep it from you. Violation number 2. \n\nHe is an AH. Big time. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friends and I (20M, we all around 20) go into a group facetime call and just chill and talk on it. Sometimes we play games, but we mainly just talk, we usually call for literal hours.\n\nTheres this one girl in our group call, that has recently started learning how to play the ukulele.\n\nIt's great and all, but its really annoying to hear it over the mic, shes not bad, but she makes alot of mistakes, she keeps plucking strings until she finally hits the right one, which is what makes it such an annoyance.\n\nI've literally asked her a handful of times to stop because its really loud over the mic, whenever I do she just starts singing to drown me out.\n\nWhen were playing games, all I hear in the background is a shitty ukulele and a decent voice.\n\nThis past monday, she joined the call and she was holding her stupid ukulele. I clicked on her icon, and muted it. Since then I've muted her during all the calls because it seems like all she wants to do is just play the ukulele, I've realized that she doesnt even notice because she never talks. Not one of my friends in the call said a word about me muting her because I assumed they all agreed it was annoying as fuck.\n\nToday she found out that I was muting her without her knowledge and she bitched and cried about how much of a dick move it was to do something like that, and now everyone is acting like I'm a POS. If everyone had such a huge problem with it, then they should have said something. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You requested several times that she stop and she literally *sang over you*. So you muted her and kept the peace. I don't see a problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"At a family vacation right now, and I can't stand eating around infants. I'm aware it's not their fault because they aren't capable of learning good eating habits yet, but them getting pieces of food all over their face and their hands, spitting their food and getting it everywhere- just generally being sloppy with their food, which my niece is especially good at- easily disgusts me and being around her immediately spoils my appetite.\nFor this whole trip, I've either been eating in another room from my family or going out by myself. They think I'm being rude by doing this and they've been on my back and they think my reasoning isn't valid- but ridiculous. I try to make it clear that it personally has nothing to do with her, and that I'd be perfectly fine eating around her when she's older and can be more clean. It's also not like I haven't triend eating around her before, but it's a lot easier said than done. Usually ends up with me taking two bites then giving up as a tornado of mashed potatoes, chewed up hamburger and baby saliva is brewing across the table.\nThis is getting to the point that I think I'm wrong, because nobody else in my family seems fazed by her messiness. ######","completion":" NTA. You recognize that your aversion to eating around infants is your own thing and you try to handle it without inconveniencing anyone else. I could see your family thinking you were weird\/unusual, but not rude. You can't help your reaction and you're trying to handle it without blaming anyone else. Why is that a problem? ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.\n\nA year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he \"loved me\". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.\n\nI decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######","completion":" NTA. You really need to stop hanging around toxic people in general, because that's not a normal mindset. I'll say as rslash said once: \"it's not on you to forgive her just because she's your sister, it's on her to fix her attitude in order to deserve forgiveness.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) help my brother (34M) with running his business. Often, this requires me to learn new skills such as marketing software, writing up proposals, applying for loans, interacting with customers, etc. I do all of this is my own free time and I have never been paid. This has been something I have done for a couple of years, but since stay-at-home orders, he has relied on me even more with an average of 2-3 hours per night. Often, he will sit next to me while I do his work and he plays on his phone with excuses such as \"You just make forms so much better!\"\n\nLast night, he decided to pay me $25 for doing an online interview for him. I did extensive research and thought it sounded pretty good so I was content with it. My Mother saw that he paid me and she flipped out on me for being spoiled and taking his money. I tried to give him back the money previously and said not to worry about it 4 times (I even left the room with the money on the table). But, a part of me wanted the money. I have sacrificed so much of my time to help him succeed and have never gotten paid. \n\nMy Mother says I'm money-hungry and looking to profit, but isn't my time worth money? Considering how much time I have given him, I feel like a one-time payment of $25 is not too much. I'm not asking to be put on payroll or even have a weekly income from his business. AITA? Thanks! ######","completion":" NTA. You put in the work, you get the rewards. Your brother is lucky you are not asking to be out of payroll and that you take the time to help him out. He would have to pay a lot more to find someone else to do it for him. Your mother isn’t the one paying you so why should she care? Ignore her ######"}
{"prompt":"So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic.  I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister.  I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can.  To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself.\n\nI've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me.  I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me.  I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them.  She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run.  This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents.  When I got upset, he slunk off pouting.\n\nMy sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food?\n\nP.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ######","completion":" NTA. You purchased food specifically to avoid allergens. The absolute least your family could do is ask permission before they help themselves to your food. If they purchased snacks that were allergen-free themselves, it would be a different story. ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my best friend 9 years ago and we've both gone through a lot together. His GF died 7 years ago and I helped put him back together. He was there for me when my parents died. We're like brothers and friends and family have commented that we're like an old married couple. Even during lockdown we've pretty much called each other every day.\n\nI've been with my GF for 3 years and he's been with his for 4 years. Next year we're celebrating 10 years of friendship and about a year ago we decided to take a trip together and we chose Japan as the destination. We've been saving up for it (as well as buying a house each) the entire time and I've also been saving up airmiles as well as using a credit card to get something called a companion voucher, essentially I get a free plane ticket. As such, we've got two 1st class tickets and have split the cost in half. We're hoping to travel next Autumn as we met in September.\n\nMy GF never seemed to care about the trip at first and we've been on smaller trips together as a couple, but as of late she's started to get angry that I'm going with him and not her. I finally hit the required spend on my credit card and got the voucher so was pretty excited, now she'd demanding that when I buy the ticket I take her and not him. I refused point blank.\n\nThis is an expensive trip, and after buying a house I doubt I'll make this trip again for at least a couple of years if ever. AITA for taking my best friend rather than her? ######","completion":" NTA. You planned this trip with your friend to celebrate a milestone for you and your friend. You’re allowed to have meaningful relationships with people besides your SO. You’re allowed to take nice vacations with your friends. Your girlfriend is being unreasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of background, I (20F) still live my parents in the house we have lived in since I was 14. I work full time, and pay approx £300 a month in rent as well as buy everything for myself and contribute £20 a week to food. I want to move out, but am waiting for a couple of friends to finish uni and thought this was the best way to save money. My little sister (14) lives with us. My dad works full time in a good job, and my mum doesn’t work, and never has. \n\nSince lockdown, I have been working from home but my dad has been furloughed. I have been caught in a few arguments with my mum over minor things, like asking her to not slam doors while I was on a telephone meeting etc. She always gets super defensive, and her final blow in every argument is that this house isn’t my home because I am over the age of 18 and don’t have my name on the mortgage. The most recent argument was that I ordered two parcels (her birthday presents) and she said I needed to stop ordering things as is a coronavirus risk. I leave all my parcels outside the house for at least 12 hours and then disinfect before bringing them into the house. As these were her presents, I didn’t open them in the kitchen as I would normally but opened them upstairs. She thought that I had ordered something I shouldn’t have (???) and has now told me, as this is not my house but hers, I have to ask permission to order anything. I thought she was joking and ordered some shirts to tie dye, she has now told me I have to find somewhere else to live. \n\nSo, AITA for still living with my parents after I turned 18? Does my mum have a point that the house isn’t my home? ######","completion":" NTA. You pay rent and your own way. It's your home. ######"}
{"prompt":"I pay for a spotify premium account. My boyfriend and I shared it, until we broke up. When we broke up, I changed my password because he never made any payments on it. \n\nHe says I am in the wrong because he has mental health issues and the music is the only way to calm him down. \n\nI dont think I should have to share because I pay for it with my own money, that I work for. I'm currently an out of work waitress so I'm doing odd jobs for my few bills. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You pay for it and its your account, he just wants to guilttrip you. He can listen to tons of music on youtube for free. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken\/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills\/food etc. We live in the UK.\n\nBecause of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again. \n\nRecently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.\n\nSeveral days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.\n\nThanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ######","completion":" NTA. you pay all the bills and he doesn't help. when he gets a check for a few thousand he doesn't tell you? thats something to be mad about. he is hiding something from you when he should be sharing. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I (40M) was with my ex (45F)  she had a 5month old, I met her daughter 7 months into the relationship, we were living together within 8months of dating.\n\nMy exs daughters father wasnt around.\n\nI was with my ex for 10 years before our firstborn and then 4months after our firstborn she was pregnant again, we have two daughters.\n\nWe dated for another 3 years and about four years   ago  we broke up because she had been cheating and had gotten pregnant, a nice way to find out!\n\n\n\nMy exs daughter texted me a week ago and asked to move in with me, her mother is pregnant  and obviously as the eldest she is expected to help out more and is having the brunt of her mothers frustration taken out on her.\n\nI said of course, she's capable of making her own decisions now, but not to rush such a heavy decision because I live several hours away so she wouldn't just be able to pop down the road to see her mother and siblings.\n\nI've since been getting spammed by her mother and her mothers partner telling me I was an AH for getting involved when she's not my daughter and for allowing her to rush off instead of solving her problems.\n\nMy partner agrees maybe I overstepped \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You parented her for like what, 14 years? You are one of her parents. She asked, you didn’t offer. I think it’d be kind of you to allow her to move in. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal. \n\nI walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise. \n\nThere's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town. \n\nI gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said \"Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings.\" I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....\n\nFast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once. \n\nI was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty \"job\" she's done. Her excuse? \"I was busy with homework\". I hung up the phone.\n\nI rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?\n\nI dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.\n\nIf im TA, tell me so I can make it right.\n\nTL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######","completion":" NTA. You paid to have your dog walked and fed. And taken outside so he could go to the bathroom. She didn't provide those services. Of course you're not gonna pay her. And good on you for leaving a review, people should know what they're getting. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.\n\nHowever. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school. \n\nShe is now a \"stay-at-home mom.\" I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is \"humiliating.\" Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so \"poor.\"\n\nI have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get \"lucky\" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace. \n\nAITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ######","completion":" NTA. You offered a solution and a viable one at that. None of her “excuses” make any sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"My [F26] boyfriend [M28] and I have been together for 5 years now and moved in with each other last summer. My parents are divorced as are other family members, and I just don't like the whole idea of feeling trapped in a marriage.\n\nBoyfriend (who I will refer to as Brody) knew how I felt since when we first began dating I acknowledged flat out I wasn't interested in getting married. Brody seemed good with this, and the conversation never came up again.\n\nNot once has he brought the idea up in all the years we have been together. At least, not until very recently when a box came in the mail. \n\nBrody had been acting kind of weird and secretive with the box so I asked what was wrong, and that was when he took out its contents and popped the question.\n\nI was really shocked because he hadn't ever addressed wanting to do this, and I feel it's something that should have been discussed.\n\nI politely turned him down because I don't see marriage as very important or necessary, and he got upset and we aren't speaking much.\n\nAITA for rejecting him? ######","completion":" NTA. You never propose unless you’ve talked about it with them before and know the answer is yes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate regularly borrows my car and leaves my car keys in her purse.  I had an errand to run and my keys were not on the hook in the kitchen they belong on.  I went to look in her purse figuring my keys were in there (they were) and she got mad I looked in her purse.  I told her if she didn't want me looking in her purse don't leave my car keys in there and if that was too hard she couldn't borrow my car anymore.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You needed your keys and that's where she left them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.\n\nI've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.\n\nI found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.\n\nI was pissed and \"quit\" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.\n\nNow this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well. \n\nMy dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.\n\nI declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.\n\nThe family restaurant however, is going under.  \n\nNow there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You needed to secure your financial future just like he needed to secure his wife’s. Not your fault you did a better job.  Maybe offer to buy him out so he will “get something out of it”. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, so I know his family decently well. My boyfriend's family is from NC. We live in NY, separate apartments. His grandpa (who also lived in NY) just passed away on Sunday. They planned a funeral for Friday in NY. I told them 3 of his siblings could stay here since I have a 2 bedroom and my boyfriend has a studio.\n\nAs of yesterday 6\/24, governor Cuomo started a mandatory quarentine for people coming from NC, among other states. This brought to my attention how had NC is with covid right now. They live in a city in NC, so it's not like they're exactly safe. Their city has twice as many new cases everyday as New York city. All of New York city has less new cases per day.\n\nIf they get caught being here from NC, they could be fined $2000. I think it is wrong of them to think they're the exception to this rule. This rule is in place so more people don't die or get very sick. I told them I had to reconsider housing them. \n\nThey planned this funeral before Cuomo put the order in place. Their other family is coming from Miami (another covid hot spot).\n\nAm I the asshole for changing my mind because I learned how bad covid is where they live? ######","completion":" NTA. You need to put your personal safety first. Aside from just the health aspect, I doubt they're going to pay your fine if they're caught. Break the news gently and hope they make alternative plans. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out \n\nDisclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.\n\nOk so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).\n\nNow I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted  legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.\n\nAll this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best). \n\nNow I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding. \n\nSo I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.\n\nI don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.\n\nSo would I be the asshole here?\n\nExtra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.\n. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.\n.He’s asked me for things in the past such as       some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ######","completion":" NTA. You need to negotiate a bedroom door lock with your parents imho. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little back story my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. I stay at his house 5 days a week and mine 2. I am renting to own my place and he owns his. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage. Now my prior marriage ended when my child’s father had a year long affair and then kicked myself and our children out of our home and moved his mistress in resulting in my and my children being homeless and sleeping in our car in the Walmart parking lot. \n\nNow my boyfriend and I were having a talk about our relationship and the future and I asked about moving in someday since I stay there 5 days a week and he said yeah you probably can’t live here because I don’t want to give you half of what I own if you decided to leave. Then I asked what if we stayed together for 50 years and he said that his house would go to his sister and that she would probably let me still live here if I needed to but he wanted his stuff to stay in his family. \n\nNow that terrifies me because I never want to be homeless. Then I told him that I wanted another child and he said “why do you can put me on child support when you leave and still get the house because it will go to my kids and then you’ll be here and probably sell it out from under him”\n\nNow at this point I’m really questioning why he’s giving me such rude answers because we’ve been together awhile and I just want to know if we have a future together and he’s calling me a gold digger. I haven’t spoke to him in a few days and he’s left several mean voicemails saying I’m overreacting and that “this proves it to him how I am” AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. You need to examine that phrase very carefully. \"I want my stuff to stay in my family\". That tells me even if you stay with him the rest of your lives, he will not actually view you or your kids as family. Why would you want to subject yourself and your children to that? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.\n\nI practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises\/cuts\/injuries, people tend to ask about them.\n\nI was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied \"well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!\" (it got cancelled of course).\n\nWell another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).\n\nWell HR suspended me for the rest of the day, \"investigated\" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.\n\nI instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a \"hostile work environment\" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.\n\nI have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######","completion":" NTA. You need to document and make your boss award how disruptive Ella is on your work. Not sure what country you are in but maybe worthwhile to look up employees’ rights. Have your boss talk to HR regarding their policy of suspensions without cause and how it opens the company to liability and lawsuit. ######"}
{"prompt":"i’m 22 years old and in graduate school. my only i come is from part time stipend as a graduate assistant. i don’t have a car, and i’m currently saving towards that as well as dental and optometry work. in order to save, i severally cut down on my food\/fun allowance. i live on a very strict budget and after a year of saving i finally half about $2000 saved up. \n\nmy dad asked me for money saying that he is in debt and people are on his neck. he doesn’t plan to return the money. for some reason he thinks i’m well off because i don’t complain about my hardships even though i’ve made several comments on my facebook and to him directly about how i desperately need a car because i’m in a small town with no transportation, i don’t live close to family and i have no way of getting around. i also have medical expenses that need to be covered. \n\nhe has these ways of guilt tripping me or making me seem selfish when i deny his request. and i know that the requests will never stop coming. for example my sister who is 26, has about 1000$ in savings because she’s constantly helping out. i’m still in grad school. all my mates have their parents paying for their car and healthcare, while i have to save tooth and nail to make it through and save for my needs.\n\nam i an asshole for denying to help my dad, even though i have $2000 in savings but i desperately need that money for my expenses? i did offer him $50 and i wonder if that was disrespectful? ######","completion":" NTA. You need the money for a car and medical expenses. If you give him the money, you might be more screwed then your father. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (21F) boyfriend (26M) plays video games until the early hours of the morning most nights. I've suffered from depression for as long as we have been together (2 years), and disruptions to my sleep negatively impact my mental health. I've explained this to my boyfriend and asked him to be quieter when he comes to bed, but nothing has changed. \n\nHe is loud when he plays his video games, often yelling and chasing, and when he comes to bed he often wants to cuddle and talk to me (which otherwise would be fine, but not at 2am when I am trying to sleep). \n\nWith classes etc being online now, it's important for me to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable hour (i.e., 10pm to 7-8am), otherwise I will get into the habit of sleeping all day and my mental health always worsens.\n\nWIBTA for asking him to sleep on the couch on nights he wants to stay up really late, rather than inevitably waking me up when he comes to bed? I feel like this might be a bit extreme, but my sleep is very closely tied to my mental health and I have been struggling as a result of being woken up so often. ######","completion":" Nta. You need sleep for your mental health. He can't blame you for that\n\nEdit: this blew up thanks guys ######"}
{"prompt":"I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation.  Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared. \n\nI didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ######","completion":" NTA. you moved on because they made your life miserable and lost your trust. You have every right to move away especially if it makes you happy ######"}
{"prompt":"I like Dominos pizza and order it once a month. I know it’s a bit expensive, I know it isn’t very authentic, I know it isn’t healthy. I also don’t care; for me it hits the spot and I enjoy it. \n\nMy housemate and good friend’s Italian girlfriend, every time I get dominos, has to mention how it isn’t actually good pizza or very Italian. Every. Single. Time. It also extends to when I make Italian food like pasta or spaghetti (we take turns to cook for the whole house), mentioning i didn’t add this ingredient or use this process. I’ve asked her a couple times to show me what I’m doing wrong but stuff always seems to ‘come up’\n\nNow, she’s otherwise a pretty solid person but I just find this behaviour incredibly rude. I ordered pizza again today and she again commented about how it wasn’t authentic. I had enough and told her I didn’t give a fuck what was authentic or not, I just wanted to enjoy my Dominos. \n\nShe told me as an Italian she had to say something when she saw bad Italian food like the pizza or my pasta. I told her that if I as the son of Indians could eat what she alleged to be a chicken korma (it was *sweet* for some reason) and say nothing at the time she could eat my pasta and stay silent. \n\nI’m aware that was perhaps a bit petty and rude, but to be honest I’m pretty done with her inane comments. My roommate is annoyed at the both of us saying that we need to make up, but honestly I’m still pretty annoyed with her. As I see it the only harm I’m doing with my dominos is to my waistline, but that has no bearing on her. ######","completion":" NTA. You mentioned yourself - if she makes Indian food in a non-authentic way, you don’t say anything about it. You weren’t toting your dominos around like it was the best Margherita pizza from Naples. This is a very weird high horse for her to be trying to stand on. I think it’s pretty obvious anyone who frequently orders dominos isn’t ordering it for that authentic Italian flavour. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50\/50 on this. \n\n\nWe are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######","completion":" NTA. You made a commitment to your dog. Another place will come along. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background:\n\nMy husband’s (30m) Federal job has taken us first to Oklahoma for several months and now to California. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom to make the transitions easier since childcare is so expensive. \n\nI also lost both my mom (50f) and my brother (17m) within 4 years of each other when I was 17 and 21 (I promise this is relevant).\n\nScenario:\n\nIn November my dad(63m) had a massive heart attack that required an emergency triple bypass and mitral valve replacement. My husband was able to take a week off from work and stay home with our daughter(2f) so I could fly back to TN to be there. The surgery went fairly well, but it was hugely stressful for me. The thought of being an orphan at 30 is heartbreaking. (Can you be an orphan if you’re an adult?) I flew back to California once he was stabilized and have been here since. \n\nMy husband’s job has a process where you can submit a request to relocate back home for medical emergencies. We qualify for this relocation and I’ve asked him to consider moving back to be closer to my dad. My husband is reluctant due to the difference in workload (The TN job would be busier and more work) and the logistics and cost of moving cross country. \n\nMeanwhile, Dad has had 2 more surgeries to correct a persistent heart murmur and install a pacemaker. I continue to bring up this transfer and I continue to get a response about the logistics, cost, and workload differences. \n\nSo I lost my shit. I told him that I would resent him if we don’t have a real conversation about this transfer. I have sacrificed so much for this opportunity for him and I truly feel like our marriage will suffer if he won’t even consider it. I want our daughter to know her grandfather, I want to spend time with my dad while he’s relatively healthy. \n\nAITA? I hate ultimatums, but I don’t know if I could forgive my husband if something happens to dad and I’m not there. ######","completion":" NTA. You made a big sacrifice for him, by staying at home with the kids and moving to improve his career, but he won't make a sacrifice for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically my cat is trained to use the toilet bowl, I have two bathrooms in my flat and the cat uses the guest one, it’s always up and clean because the cat uses it and knows how to flush it (sometimes he forgets it), I clean it every day and my cat been doing it for the past 6 years. \n\nMy boyfriend just moved in with me and he hates it, even if we have our own bathroom and barely uses the guest ones, he says it is disgusting and awful, last night we had a huge fight because the cat didn’t flush it’s poo and now my ex is saying that he is going to live if I don’t litter box train my cat, but I see no point doing it since the toilet is much more hygienic. \n\nSo AITA for not wanting to change my cats habits to make my boyfriend happy? ######","completion":" NTA. You literally trained your cat to use the toilet, which is something that, as a longtime cat owner, I can only imagine has made your life so much easier. Litter boxes suck. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?\n\nAwhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin. \n\nAlso mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.\n\nAnd now this is where it gets complicated. \n\n1 week later:\n\nL: what are we doing for my birthday? \n\n(In my mind I was confused, because \n1. L told me she was going to a cabin \n2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)\n\nMe: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?\n\nL: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?\n\nMe: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.\n\nL: you’re ruining my birthday \n\nAfter she said that I stopped responding to her. \nAnd to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day? \nAlso I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!\nI ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me? \nAITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ######","completion":" NTA. you literally offered to host a party for her and she turned you down, and now she’s all upset because you made other plans after not being invited to her birthday plans and won’t do anything for her? besides that, you even offered to do something during that day but just couldn’t at night and she was still upset!! your friend sounds horribly entitled and honestly not much like a friend at all ######"}
{"prompt":"Me 22f and my boyfriend 35m just broke up about 3 weeks ago, we had a really toxic relationship so when I found out I was pregnant I knew that I had to leave and be in a better environment for my unborn child.\n\nWhen I was packing he was following me and yelling at me so I was sloppily packing things in a rush and when I got to my feminine drawer where I put my positive pregnancy test he seen me throw the box in my bag which was the original packing that the test came in and asked me about it and I told him it was negative and that it doesn’t concern him because even if It was positive I’d abort any baby from him which is a lie Even though I’m all for abortion I’d never see myself doing it and the pregnancy test was definitely positive.\n\nI know I was a little hash but I just knew if he’d found out there and then he’d wouldn’t let me leave, I never intended to keep it a secret for long \n\nHow he found out that I was pregnant was because I asked a mutual friend of ours to tell him because I blocked him on everything and wish to not continue contact until the break up isn’t so fresh because I know he’ll try and get back together with me and each time we break up I always end up believing him when he says things will change. \n\nMy friends are calling me am asshole for not telling him right away and for lying to him about not being pregnant, am I the asshole ? ######","completion":" NTA. You lied for your safety and for the safety of your unborn child. He sounds like bad news and I'm sorry your friend told him against your wishes. ######"}
{"prompt":"Im on mobile.\n\nMe(F15)\nMom(F36)- “Mom”\nStepdad(M34)- SD\n\n So i’m visiting my mom this week (my dad has full custody and i just visit my mom sometimes) and it’s that time of the month. I’ll try not to go into too many details but basically yeah i dispose of everything the way it needs to be disposed so i didn’t think there would be a problem.\n\nMy mom came up to me last night and said i made my stepdad “uncomfortable” for “making him look at my feminine products”. i instantly got embarrassed and told her i’ve always made sure i disposed of everything properly. Then she says, “oh no, not the thing itself but the wrapper” Which confused because like, it’s a wrapper? I’m a 15 year old girl, sorry i have a period? \n\nShe asked if i could start throwing it away in the garage trash so he wouldn’t have to see it in the bathroom trash. we have 3 BATHROOMS. One in their room, one in the hall upstairs, and one in the hall downstairs, i always use the one downstairs because my room is in the basement. If he doesn’t want to see it he can use one of the two other bathrooms. I told her i wasn’t gonna stuff my trash in my pocket and walk to the garage just because he can’t handle looking at a wrapper. She claims i’m being ridiculous and stubborn and that he shouldn’t have to walk upstairs anytime he’s in the living room just because i won’t throw my trash in a different place. I told her he can get over it.\n\nAITA?\n\nTL;DR: my stepdad is apparently uncomfortable with my feminine product wrapper and refuses to use one of the other two bathrooms we have so my mom is forcing me to throw my trash in the garage. ######","completion":" NTA. You know sometimes I come on this subreddit and actually have to ask myself if I'm dreaming. I have no idea how a wrapper could offend someone. Unless he endured some form of tampon related torture and has enduring trauma, literally the only viable explanation I can come up with. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi Reddit,\n\nI know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.\n\nA couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight &lt;she did not want to let go&gt;. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false). \n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You just set down some clear boundaries, and that's good. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my younger bro (19) was really scrawny. He's as tall as me (24M) at 6\"1, but his build was really small. I think he weighed about 140lbs with 0 muscle. He didn't have any health issues or anything, was just scrawny. \n\nIt was no surprise to me when he confided in me that he couldn't attract many girls. He wanted a girlfriend but had no luck. He attracted some girls, but they were few and he was not in any way attracted to them. \n\nSo I just told him straight, \"you need to bulk up. A lot of girls want their guy to be bigger than them, and won't be attracted to your build\". \n\nI gave him a workout plan and he ran with it. He added around 25lbs in the span of 6 months. Some muscle, and some obviously fat. Honestly he looks a lot better than he did before, and no surprise he began dating a girl he really likes and finds hot. \n\nWell my sister (29F) and parents both came at me saying I've given him shit advice and that he was fine the way he was, they called me AH. But I said to them that they never really cared to listen to his issues. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You just helped him boost his morale when he needed it. At least you've been honest with him. 👏 ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and fake names \n\nA couple of my friends hung out recently (where we live in a place with less than a hundred cases and masks are still required) \n\nOne of my friends, Dylan came with his new girlfriend Ann, who happens to be black, to introduce us to her which we were all fine with and knew beforehand. \n\nI’m more of an introverted person and Ann is the opposite. When met for lunch, she was loud and boisterous. She spoke over people, yelled at the staff, *reached over to my plate*,and at one point she even tried to dance on the table. \n\nI found it all very inappropriate and didn’t talk much for the rest of our lunch. Dylan kept on excusing her behavior throughout and my other friends didn’t seem to mind. \n\nWhen Dylan asked us what I thought about her I told the truth half jokingly and said she was a bit noisy and rude and I personally wouldn’t want to hang out with her. I did clarify that she might be a nice girl but our personalities would clash. \n\nDylan got really upset with this, and accused me of being racist and calling his girlfriend ghetto. A couple of my friends supported this, and I tried to explain that I didn’t like her because of her personality not her race but they seem to believe that the two are somehow intertwined. He’s acting like I dislike her BECAUSE she’s black and like I can’t dislike a black person because I’m white. \n\nI was going to let it slide and apologize until Dylan said something along the lines of, “she can’t help it, that’s how they are” which I thought was racist to stereotype and told him so. \n\nI left soon after and I’ve been getting nonstop calls from my friend group, telling me that I’m the scum of the earth and I should apologize with one of them even going on twitter to post about exposing the racists in your friend group. \n\nI believe I did not do anything racist but I need an outside perspective. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You just didn’t like her because she was obnoxious, that has nothing to do with race. The only racist one was Dylan for saying that black people were like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all,\n\nI’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities\/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism\/ADHD\/etc.\nI have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.\n\nOne of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged\/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.\n\nJ is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.\n\nI decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.\nShe immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.\nI got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA. You informed her of the needs her child has learning, and you did nothing wrong ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 22 year old dude. \n\nSo I was in the emergency room last night, and they ended up diagnosing me with something called Epiploic Appendagitis, which I will spare you specific details but roughly once a month a lot of blood comes out and I get extremely bad stomach pain.  The stomach pain was bad enough that I felt the need to go to the ER during a pandemic yesterday, to give some sense of scale. \n\nMy family followed me to the hospital, and were waiting outside in the car for five hours while they ran various scans on me.  \n\nAfter I got discharged and I was talking with my family about how there wasn't really any treatment plan for it (it's not actually a super serious condition) and I'd probably just have to deal with it, I said something along the lines of \"it can't be worse than having a period once a month\"\n\nMy sister, 19, called me insensitive, my mom found it hilarious, and my dad said I probably shouldn't talk about things I don't know much about. \n\nMy sister is still kind of pissed at me, but I honestly don't think I was making light of periods or anything.  I mean I was in the hospital with enough pain that they were talking about giving me the good stuff (which I turned down, but it was offered). And it seems that unless I get my nutrition just right, I'm going to be in that amount of pain at random points for the rest of my life. \n\nBut also my dad is right and I genuinely don't know what I'm talking about.  I mean I did grow up with a little sister and good parents who explained everything so I'm not ignorant on periods at all but I might be missing something.  \n\nI probably wouldn't tell anyone outside my family that I even have this at all, so I don't really have to worry about whether I make this joke in front of others, but I kind of want to know if it is a dick thing to say. ######","completion":" NTA. You implied a period would be worse. Most of the time men downplay periods, so at least you weren't doing that. Honestly, I don't think what you were saying diminished or trivialised periods, it was just the comparison that came to mind while you were coming to terms with a life long condition. You sister should cut you a bit more slack, even if she didn't like it for whatever reason. I hope you're coming to terms with your new normal Ok ######"}
{"prompt":"My neighbor's backyard is visible from our master bedroom upstairs and most of it is covered by a tree. But we had a pergola installed on our side with a fixture that let us grow plants alongside it. That gave them some extra privacy but I took it down because I had some trouble with one of the foundations. It's gonna cost a bunch to pour in some concrete and refit it so I've just let it be.\n\nIt took my neighbor a whole month or two to realize that it was gone and that maybe they get a little less privacy than before. So now he's on my case to get it back up because his wife and adult daughter often hang out in the pool because everyone's still staying indoors. I might have seen them bathe in a bathing suit or maybe even topless but I honestly don't remember. I'm not sniffing up other trees anyway, plenty happy with what I've got home.\n\nLong story short, I don't wanna do it. I could use the money for other things. If he thinks he doesn't have privacy he should do something on his side. Sunbathing wives and daughters or not! Wdyt? Asshole response or just telling him to do what should be his responsibility in the first place? ######","completion":" NTA. You hit the nail. “If he thinks he doesn’t have privacy he should do something on his side.” It’s your property; he can’t tell you want to do with it just because he’s uncomfortable with his perception of the lack of privacy ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed. \n\nHis funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames\/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see. \n\nI feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ######","completion":" NTA. You have very solid reasons, and don't even **need** solid reasons. You need to take care of you.  Honor him as you know he would have wanted.  Funerals are for the living.  He would want you to do what makes you most comfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"Follow up on my previous post[here](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/AmItheAsshole\/comments\/di82hm\/aita_told_moms_boyfriend_was_being_a_cnt\/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)\n\nBasically I (19m) got into a fight with my mums boyfriend after he berated me for disrespecting my mother for there being clothes pegs on the ground and it ended with him calling me a little asshole and me saying he’s being a c*nt. Realising this blowup would wreck my mums relationship I tried to apologise twice, one of those times in front of my mum to prove I was being sincere.\n\nHe broke up with my mother for the second time in a month over this and said they could get back together if she kicks me out of the house immediately. She called up her family and caused all this drama to try and kick me out and although most were sympathetic they said I should leave. So after my semester at uni finished last year I have left home and am living with a flat mate and my sister who’s relationship with my mum is also strained.\n\nMy mother never got together with her boyfriend and has met a new guy who is amazing and hates the last boyfriend for what he did. \n\nMy mum has pretended like she never kicked me out and we still see each other every week for dinner. She never apologised for choosing her boyfriend over me and it’s always bugged me knowing she doesn’t have my back. My relationship with her side of the family is pretty strained now and although I love my mum and tried to work things out with her it’s been 6 months since I left home and I still kind of resent her.\n\nWIBTA if I cut her off? ######","completion":" Nta. You have to do what’s best for you and she clearly doesn’t respect you or care about you. She cares more about what a bf thinks and she is the ah. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (32m) sister (45f) sister has always been there for me. Because we have such an age difference, she has been my second mother. Our mother is still alive but she dumped my onto my sister to take care of me. With her love and support, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot. We are super close and I consider her my best friend. I have always sent her a mother days gift\nAnd flowers because I always want to remind her how much she means to me and, I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. She didn’t have to raise me but she did and I love her very much. My wife thinks it’s super weird and and gross. She says that I shouldn’t be equating my sister to my mother and that I have mommy issues because of this. She says that my sister should stay my sister and, because she has her own kids, I shouldn’t be giving her anything. I explained that she didn’t grow up as I did ( she and her siblings are close but not as close as my sister and I). I also told her that it’s none of her business if I send my sister a Mother’s Day gift because it’s my gesture. She got upset and is not talking to me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You have the same age difference between me and my sister :) And while my mother was always a wonderful parent, my sister would babysit and help my mother whenever she could. I’ve gotten them both Mother’s Day gifts as long as I can remember. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a babysitter who watches my two young girls while me and my husband go to work. She brings her daughter with her. She’s always been great. One day, she was about 10 minutes late which made me late for work. It’s fine because it hasn’t happened before, and she apologized and I thought we were all good. \n\nA day later, she lets me know that she had been helping my daughter on her iPad and some texts popped up between me and my husband. I was complaining to him that the babysitter was late that morning and it made me late to work. Well, she kept reading and read all our texts for the past month. I had also complained to him once that our babysitter had eaten all our Oreos. It was just funny banter, and I got over it quickly but I was still whining. I would have never said anything to her about it. \n\nAnyway, the babysitter texted me the night before she was supposed to watch my kids next that she was quitting because of those texts she read. She was really hurt I would complain about her to him. I feel horrible but also violated that she read all our texts. I apologized for what I said but I still feel sad about it all. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You have the right to vent in private to your husband. You forgave her, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect your day. \nShe violated your privacy. AND she had to go back a month before finding anything else about her. If you text with any frequency, that’s a lot of personal texts for her to have gone though. Any hurt she feels is her own fault. \n\nI would have fired her for reading through the texts. Seeing the one that popped up is one thing. Looking back through is another altogether. ######"}
{"prompt":"Restaurants opened up here recently for dine-in.  My husband has 2 autoimmune diseases and is a disabled veteran.  My mother is 69 and Diabetic and lives with us.  I am diabetic and having surgery in 10 days.\n\nMy daughter (26) mentioned she was going to eat with friends tonight.  I asked if she was going to a restaurant and she said yes.  Given the above, and the current health crisis, I told her to please not go to a restaurant.  She slammed away from the table, slammed her chair into the table and stormed out.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You have REALLY valid concerns and there’s a chance for it to be dangerous for you guys. She overreacted to the max.\n\nStay safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...\n\nI have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies. \nI blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.\n\nI told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday. \n\nI got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day. \n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######","completion":" NTA. You have put the day aside plus blocked off half of the day before. If she wanted you to give up your Friday she should have said something earlier. NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Just for context: I (F18) have dated a guy (M22) for about 9 months, but never really loved him. He knew it, because at the first time he asked me, I denied, saying that I only see him as a friend. So he told me that if I didn't date him, he wouldn't have a reason to live - I was sooooo worried that I ended up accepting. We had a really bad relationship and broke up several times, but he always came to my door crying to ask for a chance and I was too afraid to deny since I knew what he would do.\n\nIn January, I received a very good job offer in another city, so I won't work with him anymore. A couple days after I started to work, he broke up with me. The inner me was so glad that he did it, to be honest.\nMonths without seeing him and working in a good place, I finally discovered that I'm lesbian. That explains a lot in our relationship as a couple.\nHis friends found out my twitter and saw me talking about Pride Month, 2 of them even replied to me saying that I was just confused because I had dated a guy before.\nI didn't care at first, but an ex friend of mine texted me saying that I'm destroying his life because everyone is making fun of him for making me 'turn out as a lesbian' and I told her that it's not my problem because I have no control of what they do and say, she said that I'm insensitive towards him because I know he has problems with depression and anger, which is true. \n(Don't be so focused on our relationship. This is about my decision to come out knowing all his problems). ######","completion":" NTA. You have no responsibility to his life or how he is teased; you're just living your life.\n\nAlso, just because someone has problems with depression and anger doesn't mean you should selectively closet yourself because you think living your life might cause a reaction in them. If they are reacting to you living your life, without you interacting with this person or antagonizing them in anyway, that is their problem and not yours.\n\nAgain, NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"She’s my father’s daughter, and was born shortly before the start of the pandemic. The pandemic isn’t why I’m not visiting, rather due to the lack of a relationship with my father. \n\nMy parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad played the whole ‘I’ll make plans to come visit you, but never show up’ game for years - about up to the time of me being around 13.  I was very upset with him when he tried actually popping into my life during my early teens, and told him I was disowning him. \nAfter a few years of him weathering me down, I’m in a somewhat cordial relationship with him now. He messages me ceaselessly with “Good morning Beautiful” and “Hi princess” (which makes me feel uncomfortable because guys trying to get in my pants say stuff like that, not my dad ew), and gets very upset and accusatory whenever I don’t message him back. \n\nNow he’s had a daughter, and desperately wants me to visit her. Only problem is that I don’t see him as a dad and whatever blood me and that kid share is akin to being from a blood donation in my mind. He’s basically some annoying weirdo trying to guilt trip me into having a bond with him, and despite me bringing it up several times he just doesn’t realize that he has to actually put effort into forming a bond. \n(Guilt trip level like 100, accusing me of turning my back on my family and history and of hating him and blah blah blah. )\n\nSo, AITA for not visiting my “sister”. \nPandemic stay at home not withstanding, because that’s not the reason I’m not visiting. ######","completion":" NTA. You have no obligation to visit them; he has been putting the minimum possible effort to have a relationship with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My entire childhood and adolescence life I strived to be this independent woman. I am now 27 and a housewife.\n\nThe other day I drove to my hometown to visit with a few friends (restrictions have been laxed in my province). We were catching up talking about our lives and having a blast. Of course our careers came up in conversation. Both are well established in their respective fields. Previously I was working in healthcare and they were surprised I am no longer working. \n\nThey ask why. I reply, \"My partner is doing very well in his field and are financially well, he even has gotten two promotions since working for this company after three years! We decided since my health is not the best it would be beneficial for me to stay home and take care of the house.\" Also, my partner works out of town for a month at a time and I was working full time, so splitting house work is not very feasible.\n\nWe continued our night having a few drinks and playing games. The next day as I'm driving home I recieve a few texts saying along the lines of, \"we're glad you're doing well but I cant believe you had the balls the rub it in our faces that you are not working and are a housewife. We thought you were a feminist and had more respect for yourself \"\n\nI am proud of my partner, I thought I explained my life choices in a non intrusive way. But now I am starting to think otherwise.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA for leaving my career to take care of the home?\n\nTLDR; Left my career in healthcare to become a housewife. Which upset my friends who are \"woke\" as I also bragged about my financial situation. ######","completion":" NTA. You have made valid life choices. Don’t let these women bring you down. Who knows what baggage they are carrying that made them react this way. \n\nFeminism should embrace all choices a woman can make for herself. It doesn’t prescribe a single life path. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my grandad has been in hospital for a reason I’m not sure I can mention, but you can probably guess. Prior to that he had other health complications so I thought it’d be nice to get all of my cousins to make a video for him wishing him to get well soon and that we all love him. I have a pretty big family so it was a bit of a nightmare. \n\nNow here’s the issue, we weren’t sure when my grandad would be released from hospital, so I gave everyone a deadline to send me a video to include. They had two days to make me a 10 second video. Easy, right? Wrong..\n\nEveryone apart from one cousin managed to send me a video, and to be fair I completed the video and sent it to my grandad. Since then all hell has broken loose. My aunt thinks I’m the devil, and that I purposefully didn’t include my cousin to be mean (I didn’t.. I sent multiple reminders and she promised she’d get it to me and then didn’t). Now she’s stirring the pot with my other aunts, and one of them thinks I purposefully didn’t include her grandson because he has a speech problem I wasn’t even aware about because they live on the other side of the world and I’ve never met him (he’s like 3). I specifically asked my cousin\/his dad to include him but for some reason he didn’t and only sent one of himself which was fine I thought. \n\nSo now my aunt is pissed at me for making my 14yo cousin cry because she wasn’t able to send me a video in time, and my other aunt who I actually get on with thinks I didn’t include her grandson because of a speech impediment I didn’t even know about. \n\nThis was supposed to be a nice thing for my grandad but now everyone hates me.\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You have given them enough chances to complete the video and they didn't. You are perfectly entitled to send the video to your grandfather as you have kept the two day deadline. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mum has always been pretty dramatic, she is a severe alcoholic and I would have cut her out of my life completely already if it weren’t for me trying to stay in contact with my two step sisters (aged 9 &amp; 10) who still live with her. I (24f) don’t live with them.\n\nShe has caused a major string of events this year already which has taken a major strain on my mental health. My dad and other sister (30f) who refuse to speak with my mum keep reminding me how she’ll never change and she’ll only continue to make me feel worse about myself.\n\nI tried begging my mother to give up the alcohol for a while and hopefully rekindle our relationship, and I was really proud of her 26 day achievement.. but then she relapsed hardcore.\n\nThis time she was vulgar and rude, she degraded me in ways which I took really personally. She mentioned how I failed to do certain things in the past and perhaps I should try harder in the future..\n\nI stopped talking to her, I blocked and deleted her. \nFast forward- \nI had her children (my step-sisters) over on Saturday.. mum called off sisters phone.. mum was drunk again at 11am demanding to talk to me.\nI was reluctant but had no choice to talk to her, she was curious as to why I have blocked her.. she does not remember any of the drunkenly rude things she said to me and more importantly, she said “well I’m not gonna apologise for something I don’t remember saying” “you’re the one with issues, we’re family, I thought we were friends”\n \nI hung up and blocked her. I was upset with her response and felt it was unfair. \n\nI’m tired of having to ‘forgive and forget’.. I’m tired of the fact that she makes me feel like garbage about myself.\n\nbasically.. AITA for not giving my mum an explanation for why I no longer want to speak to her? ######","completion":" NTA. You have given her a plethora chances and she has thrown each one out the window. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently found out that the ring my fianceè proposed to me with is the same ring he used several years ago to propose to a girl he ended up not marrying. She didn't say no, but she left him like two weeks before their wedding. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but all I can think about is them when I look at the ring, not us. \n\nWIBTA if I asked if we could pick out a different ring together, something that was for us instead? ######","completion":" NTA. You have every right to want your own ring, that isn't at all unreasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is 5 years older and ever since his first word I've been speaking to him in Arabic just as my mother did with me. He's picking the language up pretty quickly and I'm also teaching him French and German as I know it's easier for children to pick up languages. I've also been teaching him about Islam through bed time stories and he's started to copy me when I do my prayers which just melted my heart.\n\nBefore he was born I had a discussion with my wife that I'd like to raise our Children as Muslims but I'm not going to force it upon them and they can choose when they grow up. I did have my son circumcised however, with my wife's consent, for medical reasons as well. \n\nIt's currently the month of Ramadan which means I'm fasting from sunrise to sunset, when my son learn this he wanted to copy me. He was having lunch with my wife whilst I was working in my office and asked where I was. He then refused to eat and said he wanted to be like me. I had a talk with him and explained he was too young and he needs to eat so he can be big and strong like me. He still wants to try however so we agreed on him doing half days like we usually do with children.\n\nMy wife is very unhappy however and has said that it's unfair we're bonding over so many things and she feels like he's ignoring her. She agreed that languages are useful to him, but she wants me to stop teaching him Arabic and wants me to do my \"Muslim stuff\" away from him. ######","completion":" NTA. You have every right to teach your child your cultural heritage and language(s). Your wife also has the right to bond with him over her cultural practices as well. Neither of you should interfere with either of you bonding with your son.\n\nFrankly, your wife is probably just jealous. He’s a little boy and he seems to be at an age where he idolizes you as his male role model. Don’t pull back on your role, but give your wife additional opportunities to bond by proposing dates with mommy, or fun activities just with mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"Firstly, I know this sounds weird but bare with me. \n\nI’m a 15 year old girl(?) and suffering from diagnosed depression. I was crying in my room and my mum walked into my room and started saying things like “be happy!” “You can’t be sad all the time” “it isn’t that bad” “you’re self-pitying!” And I lashed out. I told her I was depressed and blah blah blah. She told me to just bE hApPy ArOuNd HeR and I screamed “NO! I CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY WHEN IM F*CKING DEPRESSED” she then left and it’s been a day. She came into my room a while ago and told me I wasn’t depressed,that I was being dramatic and I shouldn’t have to go to the school councillor. She’s starting to make me confused. Can you someone please tell me if I’m in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA. You have diagnosed depression so a medical professional with years of training has confirmed your state.  You're not making it up, it's real and as someone who also suffers, you have my sympathy.\n\nAll of my friends know and understand this is who I am but I did used to say to people.  \"I had a friend tell me to 'get over' my depression so I broke his leg and told him to 'walk it off'.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nSo my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.\n\nEdit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######","completion":" NTA. You have a right to be uncomfortable about anything remotely sexual involving another person! ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent\/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.\n\nMy parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.  \n\nHusband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.\n\nMy husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You have a point and I think you should definitely have follow up conversations about it. Is he giving her a lot of money? When you have kids, how do you see raising them? Kids are really expensive not to mention birthing them can be expensive if you have any complications. How many children do you want? How are you saving now? These are all things that would be good to think about then talk to your husband. It may help if you have a budget outlined and show him how giving her that money takes away from the future of your kids. You need to be looking towards retirement too because you don’t want to be a burden on your children because you spent your money on her instead of saving. \n\nI don’t necessarily think your husband is an AH either. But he needs to think about how this affects his own future. It doesn’t make him a bad son if he stops helping but he may need to work through that with you and a marriage counselor. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend told me that she wanted to show me an interesting prayer in her religion (she's Hindu btw and I'm a Catholic). I told her very politely that I will watch her say the prayer and not do it as I don't believe in her gods.\n\nChristianity is based on monotheism and I cannot pray or worship another god, but I shall definitely stand and respect all gods and rituals and definitely celebrate their festivals.\n\nShe got offended and said that I wasn't tolerant towards other religions and that I was disrespecting her God, religion and beliefs by not taking part.\n\nShe then told me that when she was in a Christian school, she said all her prayers to Jesus. I told her that was a personal choice and that my belief is that there is only one God and all other religions are praying to different forms of that God. \n\nShe wouldn't listen to any of it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You handled this exactly right, you were respectful toward her religion without violating your own religious beliefs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You handled it very nicely. Your sister and her husband sound like jerks. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not changing my wedding date to make my sibling feel better?\n\nMy sibling was supposed to be getting married in October of this year. I am planning to get married to my fiancé in October of next year (we picked October as it is near our dating anniversary). Due to COVID19, my sibling is having to cancel their wedding and are changing their date to next year. My sibling wants me to change the date of my wedding so that our weddings aren’t so back to back. I haven’t committed to any vendors yet so I could, but feel I shouldn’t have to. \n\nAITA if I don’t change want to change the date? ######","completion":" NTA. You had this date and it means something to you. They can choose a different date ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (33F) daughter is 16 and my sister is 23.\n\nMy sister is obsessed with her instagram, like she posts 3-4 times a day, she’s got an “appearance” and “standards” \n\nMy daughter has struggled with her weight for a while, she’s 1.8metres tall (?) And 13stone, our goal is to get her down to 11stone.\n\nMy sister took a picture of her and my daughter and posted it on Instagram, my daughter was really excited but when she checked it she got really upset - she hasn’t left her room yet.\n\nMy sister had heavily edited the picture so my daughter looked skinny.\n\nI was extremely angry and phoned my sister to tell her to take it down\/ post the unedited photo, she refused telling me that she just wanted to show the world what a beautiful girl my daughter was and that she promotes health.\n\nMy daughter is trying to lose weight, it isn’t her fault *and* she’s a beautiful, growing girl! My sister has crushed her.\n\nSo I commented “I’m ashamed, my daughter is beautiful without the heavy editing going on in this photo, be ashamed *sister* for body shaming a teenager, take this down immediately and apologise”\n\nMy sister didn’t see it in time and got a bunch of negative comments, she took it down but phoned me in tears saying I hurt her and that she’s sorry but she didn’t mean it etc.\n\nMy husband thinks that I went overkill.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You had the courtesy to call her and ask her first. She is only upset because you called her BS in the comments section. She only removed the photo because she was afraid for her 'branding' and appearing tone deaf. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her.\n\nSo I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together.\n\nMy wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family.\n\nSo she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day.\n\nShe called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her.\n\nAlso for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family.\n\nTL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######","completion":" NTA. You had plans, and she knew. Trying to get you to break a commitment that late in the game is rude. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo, I've been living with her for almost 4 months now and recently I started to have issues about my personal space being invaded while I'm working.\n\nLast time it happened I had to make an evaluation online and she didn't stop trying to be all over me or in front of the pc screen so, obviously, I told her to go into her room and let me alone because this was something important and I didn't wanted to be bothered. \nShe left, I closed her door and could hear inside of her room, making angry sounds and throwing stuff. \nI have to be honest, I really like to have her around me and cuddle together but not all times, I really need my space sometimes and just can't let her crawl all over myself just because she feels cold or unattended.\n\nSo, AITA for don't let her do what she wants? I know it's just a cat but she's really upset with me. ######","completion":" NTA. You had me in the first half, not gonna lie. ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to current global circumstances all our staff meetings are through a zoom like platform.\n\n\nWhile we were waiting for the office manager to get on, everyone was showing off their pets and then the moms in there group started to talk about their kids, etc. \n\nMy coworker (35F), lets call her Z, was talking her daughter (7) being stubborn and “unwilling to do anything she doesn’t want.” Ya know. It’s whatever, nobody cared cause this meeting wasn’t about people’s children or their parenting. I basically forgot she said anything about her kid.\n\nThis is where I may have been an ass:\nAt the end of our meeting Z grabbed her daughter walking by and shoved her in front of the camera and said “here’s miss brat who never listens!” and I just got annoyed and said “we love strong women, don’t change!” \n\nIt’s just a personal annoyance of mine when people talk down about their kids, but I’m not a parent. So I really can’t say whether or not that’s normal, but as someone who came from an abusive home growing up, it rubbed me the wrong way.\n\nMy other coworker after the meeting said that was a dick move but I don’t think I was being an ass, just trying to make light of a weird way to describe and then show off your child. AITA? \n\nIf I am an asshole, I’ll say sorry to Z but she hasn’t said anything to me directly but I could tell it annoyed her. \n(Also, I’m 25F to make it more clear) ######","completion":" NTA. You had like 1 second to think of a response to someone deciding to humiliate her kid by calling her names in front of a crowd of unfamiliar adults. I think it was a great response that supported the kid without being directly hostile or nasty to the mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year, but I've had it on my mind for a while lately and want an outside opinion. Last year, I found out I was pregnant and my husband (29M) and I (26F) were ecstatic. An important thing to note is that while we hadn't told some friends and acquaintances about the pregnancy, our immediate families\/close friends were made aware after a couple weeks. One of the screenings came back with abnormal results, and after getting diagnostic tests done it was basically 99% confirmed that our baby had severe genetic disorders. If our child was born, it would almost definitely not be able to have a normal life and would need a full-time caretaker. My husband and I both work demanding jobs with long hours, and we live in a city with crazy rent prices that would make it unaffordable if one of us quit full-time for good. Also, as awful and selfish as it sounds, I was only 25 and deep down didn't want to spend the rest of my life caring full-time for a child that might never get to experience a full life. So we aborted the baby. According to both of our families and even some close friends, we're the worst people on the planet. My MIL accused us of trying to \"forget\" about the baby because some people still don't know I had been pregnant (I didn't have much of a belly at all and honestly just looked like I'd gained 10 extra pounds) and hasn't spoken to us in months, and my sister said that it's evil that we're still planning to try for another baby soon, and if I'd \"just keep aborting\" until I got a \"normal kid\". So, was I an asshole? My husband and I took the decision we thought would be the best for us, but I know it wasn't right to abort the baby just because of its problems it was definitely not an easy decision. ######","completion":" NTA. You guys did what was best for you and that’s all that matters. Millions of women - including me - would have done exactly the same thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"New account for privacy. \n\nI (39F) have been with my boyfriend (40M) for a little over two years. Recently, I have come into a significant amount of money that would allow me to quit my day job and pursue my dream career, or if saved and invested carefully, retire fully. I haven’t disclosed this information to my boyfriend. \n\nI love him, and he says he loves me. Toward the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of discussion about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. Both of us are divorced and this would be a second marriage for us. \n\nMy issue is that his ex-wife and him are still very friendly. They share no children but communicate daily and even have platonic lunches and dinners together. When asked about this, he stated that there will be a part of him that always cares for her and that he needs to be there for her because she doesn’t have anyone else, especially now during the pandemic. I am trying to be understanding about this. \n\nI haven’t told him about my recent windfall because I don’t want him to feel pressure to cut her out of his life and choose me because of the money. I also don’t want to feel obligated to help his ex financially because they are still close friends (which could be a possible conversation that comes up). I do want him, and there’s no one I’d rather share this good fortune with. Everything else in our relationship is going well, and I do feel he could be the one. \n\nHe is in a very good job that he can support himself with, although he doesn’t at all enjoy his work. I could offer him a way out of it and I feel guilty about keeping this from him. At the same time, I would like to know how he sees us moving forward before I tell him about the money. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You guys aren’t married so you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell him about this money. I would communicate to him that him being extra friendly with this ex wife is really bothering you. I dont think you should tell him unless you are certain he’s in it for the long run. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?\n\n\nMy father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities\n\nTheir daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.\n\nShe wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.\n\nIt's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.\n\nI understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. You guys aren’t close, and it’s unreasonable of her to assume you’d move to another state to take care of him when he needs it. That’s not how it works, especially when you’re already taking care of your stepdad. \n\nI’m sorry btw. It sounds like a lot to go through. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy sister and I share a bathroom. The bathroom has two towel hangers.\n\nRecently my sisters towel hanger  broke off and now it needs to be completely replaced. She absolutely refuses to go and buy a replacement and install it.\n\nInstead she has just been using my towel hanger. She will slide mine over so hers can fit too. Which I find gross. It’s been annoying the fuck out of me. So each time she does it I take her towel and put it in her laundry basket.\n\nNow she has started to do the same thing with my towel even though it’s my towel hanger. \n\nIm tired of going into the bathroom only to find my towel in the laundry basket all gross and damp, so today I went and just removed my whole towel rack and hid it. I got some hooks for the back of my bedroom door to use instead.\n\nShe got pissed off and came barging into my room to ask why happened to it.\n\nI just said it was gone. \n\nShe asked what I meant and what happened to it.\n\nI said I would put it back when she fixed her.\n\nShe said I was being childish and if I just shared mine it wouldn’t even be an issue. ######","completion":" NTA. You guys already determined that each of you would have their own separate towel hanger. And I am sure her towel was not drying along with yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling. \n\nThen suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, \"Goddamn!\" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time. \n\nI got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You get to react to someone farting in your face, regardless of whether they’re embarrassed by it or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You get to feel however you want. It is your life and your process. Just because you feel one way now doesn’t mean that won’t change in the future, and if your feelings stay the same then those are still your feelings - they only exist for you to feel them, not for others to judge. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no. \n\nFast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.\n\nAnd that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying \"I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather.\" I told her \"he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me\". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision. \n\nReddit AMTA? ######","completion":" Nta. You get to decide who you want attending your wedding. I’m not sure, were I you, that I’d even want my mother there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.\nAnyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.\nA few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject. \nNot wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk.  I wasn’t.\nSo I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth. \nAfter that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l\nnarcissistic tendencies. \nBut some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ######","completion":" NTA. You get to decide who knows and when you tell them. Your safety could be at risk and she is publicly outing you? Cut her off ASAP ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car.\n\n\nPresent issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful.\nI’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair. \nWhen I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again. \n\nMother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that. \n\nI’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to. \n\nAm I being the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. You gave your mom the first car and that still wasn’t enough for her. She’s taking advantage of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. You gave your child a choice and he chose then you respected his decision. Sounds like you need better friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.   \n\n\nBut he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.   \n\n\nI don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.   \n\n\nHe never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.   \n\n\nhe's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him. \n\nso, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You gave him lots of warning. You are planning on depositing his truck in a safe place that isn’t in front of your place. ######"}
{"prompt":"Writing on mobile. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to include the messages as they were sent without using imgur.\n\nMy mum has a habit of taking photos of me and used to post them to the book of faces without asking. I have always been self concious about my apperance, and now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and huge, my confidence in my apperance is non existant. I sent a photo of my bump to the family chat because she had been begging me too, and added a note that said\n\n\"Btw I know I don't need to say it, but please don't share that photo I put up\" (directly copied).\n\n She then went on a compete rant which is a bit long, but here's the abridged version.\n\n\"I hope that I hv proved to all of un that I respect your privacy Hasn’t I I only post my garden and projects That keeps me restricted from the roof tops what I want to share about my pride of my immediate family I only wish my family would recognise and acknowledge that instead of constantly warning me not to breach that confidentiality As far as I’m aware I hv respected that wish By pretending it’s all about me And I seem to never get there Trusted ! Really? The grave Maybe\" \n\n(spelling errors ECT copied directly, sorry, her messages are always hard to translate). \n\nI finished by leaving this; \n\n\"It's not about trust mum. I've never liked photos of me, now even less, but you said you wanted to see them and putting them here feels very vulnerable. I'd rather not comment anymore if everything I say is going to cause you offense.\" \n\nSo AITA? Do I need to apologise? ######","completion":" NTA. You gave a simple warning that triggered her because she’s previously disrespected your requests but that is not your fault. ######"}
{"prompt":"alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.\n\nIn walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.\n\nI asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.\n\nWell, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.\n\nI told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.\n\nin my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).\n\nI even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50\/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.\n\nBut am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ######","completion":" NTA. You found an artist - your friend. You like their style, they obviously want to work alongside you, you support each other. What more could you want! ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.\n\nEnd of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.\n\nI've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You FIGHT for those grades! I've been a pain to a few teachers for stuff like that and yeah you feel a little guilty but your GPA definitely doesn't. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.\n\nEnd of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.\n\nI've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You earned your A fair and square. Your teacher's mistake is not your fault. You have every right to get the grade you earned. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother has a fursuit of some blue furry character, and I'm not sure why exactly, but seeing it makes me uncomfortable. Something about the huge eyes and huge head, in real life, but which are also inanimate while the large limbs are, maybe.\n\nI try not to be a jerk about it or anything, but he thinks I was being a huge jerk about it by looking away from his direction when he wore it during the new year's ball drop on TV with the family a couple years ago.\n\nI think it's fine that some people are furries. Outside of a rare occasion when I'm very obviously joking with other close friends that happen to be furry and *know* I'm joking about it (poking fun at the stereotype or something like that, though I know and acknowledge that not all furries are the stereotype -- and I usually even follow up the joke with a clarification, something like \"to be clear, that's a joke\"), I don't belittle or dislike furries as people at all.\n\nBut for some reason, fursuits just make me uncomfortable. AITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t seem to be shaming him in any way. Those kind of suits unnerve me too. Idek why. Disneyland freaked me out massively. ######"}
{"prompt":"Woke up this morning to a group text my roommates are trying to kick me out. I want to know if others would think I’m an asshole in this situation or if my roommates are butthurt about what I did. \n\nI live in a house with three other guys (four of us in the house). Last night around 2 am this drunk girl shows up to our house, screaming, banging on windows, banging on doors and crying for one of my roommates, lets call him Aaron. Aaron just ghosted this girl recently.\n\nHe goes outside and tries to console her and calm her down, and they start screaming at each other. She’s throwing shit at the windows, and my other two roommates get up to see what is going on. I’m just laying in my bed and staying in my room. I don’t want to deal with it. \n\nThey all get the girl to calm down, then they come banging on my door. They want me to pay for a Uber to take her home so that she gets the hell out of there. It’s $25 to get her home. \n\nI’m told them hell no? \n\nThey started arguing with me, asking me to just help out so that the situation would be over. They assured me they would pay me back. I brought up the fact that I’m still waiting on $20 back from Aaron. I’m not too sure they could pay me back if they can’t come up with $25 between the three of them them to send her home. I said no, told them to get out of my room, and locked my door. \n\nThe screaming continued, and police ended up being called by my neighbors. They were given a noise citation, and arrested the girl. Everything quieted down until this morning. \n\nAll my roommates are pissed at me for not helping him get rid of this girl. I told them that it wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t know this girl. They want me to pay part of the noise citation or they want to “vote me out” of the house. \n\nI know I could have made my life a little easier by paying for the Uber, AITA for not doing it? ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t owe them anything, especially if one of the roommates already owes you money. I wouldn’t pay any of the citation costs, either. ######"}
{"prompt":"Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.\n\nMy neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.\n\nOut of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends\/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.\n\nI haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t owe anyone anything. Especially if you two aren’t close. It’s not like you’re making special medical grade equipment, you’re simply enjoying a hobby with your close friends\/family and that does not give her the right to intrude upon that. ######"}
{"prompt":"22F and 24F\n\nBest friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.\n\nShe wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering. \n\nShe would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.\n\nI told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.\n\nShe is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t move in somewhere you can’t afford to pay for. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I play pranks on each other occasionally. They’re usually minor stuff, like once she gave me ‘ice cream’ but it was frozen mayonnaise and once I taped down the spray tool in the kitchen so when she turned the faucet on it got her wet. Nothing major and nothing dangerous, just normal sibling fooling around.\n\nOn Sunday I woke up and my wheelchair wasn’t by my bed. Naturally, I kind of freaked out. I woke up pretty late and I could see my parents car wasn’t in the driveway, so I ended up calling my sister and asking her to come in to my room to see if she was home. She did, and pretended to act really confused. \n\nApparently her idea for the ‘prank’ was to pretend I’m not disabled. So she came in, I asked where my chair was and she was like “What do you mean? You can walk.” It didn’t take very long to figure out she was joking, but I didn’t find it funny and said so. She was on the verge of laughing the whole time. After asking several times for her to drop it, she didn’t. It was clear she thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t. \n\nI ended up calling my mom, who was out grocery shopping. Now my sister is grounded and she’s mad and says it’s my fault for being a snitch and not having a sense of humor. While it technically is my fault she’s in trouble, idk if I did anything wrong and if I was too sensitive or if she’s overreacting and it was a bad prank. ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t joke [like that] about a disability. Also, if only one person is laughing ... chances are it’s a pretty shitty ‘joke.’\n\nI’m also struggling to see what the outcome she hoped for was in this ‘prank?’ Like, you are in disbelief and actually try to walk .. and fall? And then she’s like ‘haha, gotcha!’\n\n...Yeah I’m really not sure where she was going with this one.\n\n\nEDIT: Brackets to indicate my original intent - I meant jokes that diminish (rather than address or express) the experiences and realities of disability. Thanks to the commenters for addressing my phrasing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1\/4 black, 3\/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1\/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour. \n\nThere is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1\/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it. \n\nAITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t have to pick a race, you’re biracial. ######"}
{"prompt":"I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.\n\nI've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.\n\nWhen she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.\n\nShe's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######","completion":" Nta. You don’t have to hire her just because she is your girlfriend. Sounds like she is trying to use you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom died when I was 13 years old and \nMy dad remarried when I was 15\nHis new wife and stepsons. Was the boss\nAnything and everything he will do it\nI no longer was his son, or problems \nThey made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything \nI was the outsider  this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always  tell me he   paying for your my college.\n\nI'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank\n\nMy father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son \nYours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call \n\nHe call me every week and wife and in law \nabout me helping him\n\nMy wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad \n\nI tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him \n\nAm i the Asshole ######","completion":" Nta. You don’t have to help him. It’s your money. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken\/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills\/food etc. We live in the UK.\n\nBecause of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again. \n\nRecently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.\n\nSeveral days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.\n\nThanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t have a partner, you have a dependent. He’s lying to you and using you for his own financial gain. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)\n\nI (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.\n\nThe only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it. \n\nAfter class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt. \n\nI haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?\n\nETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######","completion":" NTA. You don’t ever have to wear a bra. Period. Your teacher has their own issues if they have a problem it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (15M) family wants to make a \"family\" youtube channel. My 5-year-old sister is a huge fan of these Disney parody channels. I think its called like TotalistTv. Basically they do real-life parodies of disney highschool and superhero things. I at least think it is really cringe, but I get its aimed at kids so whatever. They get crazy amount of veiws and money, and my family wants to do it. They think with the being shut inside, we have the perfect chance to get a good start. The problem is they want the whole family to.\n\nMy first thought was hell no, for multiple reasons. 1, I dont want my face all over the internet. 2, I think its kinda dumb. 3, I dont want to give away my freetime for this. I explained this to my parents, they got mad. Haven't been grounded but I can tell they clearly arent happy, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't want the social backlash that comes with it. If you bomb, you'll never live it down and the rest of HS will be a horror show for you. It's not worth it. How can your parents not have  taken this into consideration? ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no. \n\nFast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.\n\nAnd that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying \"I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather.\" I told her \"he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me\". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision. \n\nReddit AMTA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't that man any respect because he hasn't earned it. Your wedding is about your happiness. Don't give in to the pressure.\n\nAnd congratulations on your upcoming wedding. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it. \n\nOne day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't show up with a total stranger, especially without any warning. ######"}
{"prompt":"So around 4-5 days ago, my (16M) mum got in a nasty argument with my older brother (17M) and as a result, demanded that all of our phones (mine, my younger sister's, 17M and my other older brother's) be confiscated and have the PINs replaced.\n\n(NOTE: She also wanted our fingerprints to be removed as well.)\n\nAlthough I had nothing to do with their dispute and had no reason to be punished, I didn't say anything and just handed my phone over. My mum was THAT angry. I'd ask my mum to unlock my phone for me to use for a while and that's how things were for the past couple of days. \n\nThis morning, I remembered a trick I learnt a while ago to force-reset my phone (no PIN needed) and I decided to pull it off. I forced factory-data reset my phone using the volume up key, lock and home button and after logging back into my Google account and data, I had my phone back - without my mum's PIN on it. I put my phone back in the charger and went to make my own breakfast.\n\nA while later, my mum realised that I had removed her PIN on my phone (I think she might have tried to access it behind my back, but I'm not sure) and she was LIVID. She berated me, saying that this phone is not my money to begin with and going as far as to resetting my phone proves her point of how much of a phone addict I am.\n\nAgain, I wanted to bring up the point that she changed our PINs only because of an argument with my brother. But I didn't say anyhing in the hopes of not getting my mum more angry and hoping that everything would blow over (which luckily for me, it did). \n\nNow I'm typing this AITA in secret and I want to get some broad perspective on this. Did I really take things too far? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't punish all the kids cause one pissed you off. And trust is a two way street. She's not earning much, acting like this.... unfortunately... as a kid... short of pleading you case, or paying for your own phone... you're kinda boxed in... ######"}
{"prompt":"Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was \"too sleepy\". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation. \n\nDuring grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling. \n\nFast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh. \n\n2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it. \n\nWithout any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward \"hi, I think I'm your cousin\", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me. \n\nApparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it. \n\nI am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't owe someone a relationship when all they've done is hurt you. It sounds like you have healthy boundaries where your dad is concerned. You probably need the same for your cousins. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my friend is planning her wedding, she scrapped what they already were planning because of the virus and moved the date. She already has a dress and is planning the theming again, and she asked me if she could wear my necklace because she thinks it goes well with the dress and the other stuff.\n\nNow my necklace was a gift from my husband, he had it custom made by his uncle, and it’s one of those couples necklaces where the fit together, but it’s in a special shape from a project we were doing together while we were engaged. It’s kind of cheesy but I think it’s really sweet that he thought of that and it’s pretty personal to me. I wouldn’t lend it to my friend normally but especially at her wedding, I don’t know it would feel wrong having her wear something my husband had made personally for me.\n\nI told my friend no, and she got annoyed and said what are friends for. I explained my reasoning and she called me silly and that it’s just a necklace and I should just lend it to her for one day, and that it’s not going to kill me. She brought up that I’ve borrowed clothes and jewelry from her in the past, and she’s used mine in the past, but I feel that this specific necklace would be a bit like her wearing my engagement ring during her wedding.\n\nShe’s mad at me now, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't owe it to her to lend something so valuable and personal. She's TA for dismissing the emotional significance it has. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is \"because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part.\" I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######","completion":" NTA. You don't owe anyone kids. It's your life and your responsibility if you do have them. They just want you to have kids so they can call themselves a grandparent ######"}
{"prompt":"So me(13f) and my dad went to the dog park so my dogs could run.  I have two 30-40 lb dogs Max and Bell.  Then this lady comes in the dog park with 2 husky mixes. They are look like they are 60lbs ish.  So my dogs go to smell her dogs butt and then her dog just attacks my dog. Not like a gentle bite but angry and my dog screamed and ran away.  I was like woah and grabbed my dogs.  She tried calling her dog over to her but it didn't listen to her.  I told her she shouldn't be bringing an dog that clearly doesn't like other dogs to a dog park and she kinda got upset and left.  I felt bad but at the same time her dog attacked Max just for smelling her.  My dad said I shouldn't have said that because Max didn't get hurt.  My reasoning was that her dog didn't like other dogs and didn't go to her when she called it, it shouldn't be in a dog park. ######","completion":" NTA. You don't have to let your dog get mauled just to be right. ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.\n\nI assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.  \nShe installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.  \nAnd she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.  \n\n\nI only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.  \n\n\nI told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:  \n\n\n\\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else  \n\n\n\\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards  \n\n\nShe's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ######","completion":" NTA. You don't download shit to people's computers without asking. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over\/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him\/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ######","completion":" Nta. You don't actually owe him anything and I don't see why you should have to apologize for like a day's worth of socialisation followed by nothing. His feelings are valid but like you still don't owe him shit. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we’re both vegan and have been for years. \n\nLast year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have. \n\nShe’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food. \n\nUnfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse. \n\nWe went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets. \n\nWe’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it. \n\nWe’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not. \n\nThey’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat. \n\nWe don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away. \n\nThis has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat. \n\nAre we the assholes here? \n\n[cat tax](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/QFng2By.jpg) ######","completion":" NTA. You do care about animal welfare. That's why you're taking care of your animal with food that she will actually eat that otherwise would've just been thrown away. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, \"I will ruin your fucking life\". \n\nAfter learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her. \n\nNow that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful. \n\nRecently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again. \n\nFed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent. \n\nShe is gone now. \n\nMy friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You discussed it with him and you made a smart decision not being around a girl willing to make false reports to ruin people's lives. Dodged a bullet there. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######","completion":" NTA. You didn’t volunteer for a reason ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context, I (20M) came out as gay to my parents in February last year. My mum was very accepting and kind but my stepdad was very much not so. He hates everyone that isn't straight and white, so me coming out as gay made me a disappointment in his eyes.\n\nFast forward a couple of months and my mum wanted to meet my boyfriend (now ex) so I did the ~300 mile round trip to drive me and my bf to meet my parents. My stepdad decided to send me a list of instructions on how to behave, which in short was basically \"no PDA and no signs at all you're dating\", which really hurt but we went along with it.\n\nMy mental health declined sharply over the next 7-8 months as everything for me went wrong. I broke up with my bf, got hit in a car crash and couldn't take the stress from work anymore. To say the least, my stepdad was not happy about me moving back in after losing my job and being unable to live in another town.\n\nMy mental health is improving now, but my relationship with my stepdad is heavily stained. We barely talk and I avoid him as much as I can.\n\nAnyway, on topic - since I'm now living with my parents again I've been forced to spend time with my stepdad, much to both of our annoyance. Since I know he's a massive homophobe and hates me for it I decided to add some colour to my room. I have pinned up a 4×2 ft pride flag on my wall and replaced the strings on my guitar with multi-coloured ones. To say the least, he hates it. He has gotten worse with not just me but my mum and brother. Him and my mum have gotten into arguments over his disapproval of my sexuality and I hate that they are getting into arguments over me.\n\nMy mum has said that it was bad of me to put this stuff up as I knew it would annoy him, especially as he has gotten worse for everyone and I am refusing to remove the pride stuff from my room.\n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You didn’t paint the house or do anything to it which would be unreasonable - it’s their house after all, so if you’d painted it or something, that would cross a line probably. You changed the strings on your guitar and put up a reasonably small flag, the only problem with which is that it’s pride colours. \n\nYour stepdad *sucks*. \n\nI’m sorry they’re arguing but why is she even still with him? He’s openly homophobic and is aiming this at her son. Wtf? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was driving down Colfax which is a main Street in Denver the other day and I saw a lady taking pictures of a homeless person that was wearing a winter coat in 75° weather and passed out on their stomach like a starfish at bus stop in front of Sprouts which is a more annoying version of trader joes. It could have been for any number of reasons from alcohol drugs or heat exhaustion. But there was some typical Denver white girl in yoga pants who had an old film camera taking photos of this possibly dying person as some sort of artistic endeavor. I saw this for my car window, rolled the window down and started calling this lady a cunt and telling her what a piece of shit human being she was. I pulled over around to the other side of the street called the police and waited for them to arrive. Am I the asshole for calling somebody out using a clearly in need human being for some sort of black and white artistic experiment? Also, she had no intention of helping, told me to fuck myself and went back to taking pictures of graffiti and other bullshit. The police told me she was crap but didn't do anything illegal. ######","completion":" NTA. You didn’t have to call her a cunt, but she shouldn’t have been doing what she was doing either ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry guys about the poor grammar and format. I'm just shaken up and I really need to vent.\n\n(I am Asian and my bf's family is black)\n\nI have been living at my boyfriends house since quarantine and instead of cleaning or watching TV together we decided to play UNO. I placed a +4 card and he had to add four additional cards to his 20-something deck. I called him \"loser-kun\" (I don't watch a lot of anime but he is a big weeb. He calls me \"apollo-chan\" or \"something-chan\" and says things like \"baka\" or \"nani.\" He did this since we have been dating in high school.) His dad looked surprised and his mom looked extremely angry. They thought I called him a \"loser coon\" (I didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up, but it is racist.) She got extremely angry at me and started screaming at me. I told her I didn't understand what I did wrong. She called me a \"Ching Chong Yellow Bitch\" (lol) and then told me to \"Get the f*ck out!\" I tried to tell her I don't understand what I did wrong but I'm sorry, but she said \"Ching Ching Chong, do you f*cking understand now? Get the f*ck out!\" I just left my clothes there and went to my mothers house. My bf called me about a few hours later saying that his mother will let me go back home once \"\"\"\"\"I\"\"\"\" apologize. I just hung up. What do I need to apologize for? I tried to explain myself but she just wouldn't listen and started saying racist stuff about me. She said we wouldn't be in this lockdown if it wasn't for \"retards like you eating f*cking bats\" She was honestly so mean to me. Anytime someone slightly raises there voice at me I wanna cry. I know I should apologize for my boyfriend. But he didn't even stick up for me. Should I call him back and just apologize? I love him but I'm starting to think it isn't worth it. I did say something she thought was racist but she called me so many racist things back. I just don't know what to do. ######","completion":" NTA. You didn’t even say anything racist; they heard it wrong.\nThey didn’t give you time to explain to it, and they didn’t apologize for the insanely racist things they said to you. If that’s your foreseeable MIL, it’s not worth it at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You didn’t do anything to destroy the family she did. If you didn’t call the cops, it could have been a lot worse especially if your sister was already hiding objects in the fear she would hurt herself or others. Don’t think it’s your fault OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"22F and 24F\n\nBest friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.\n\nShe wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering. \n\nShe would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.\n\nI told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.\n\nShe is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######","completion":" NTA. you didn't tell her she can't be your roommate- you just said she needs a job. she can't just expect to live off of you because you CAN afford it- she's 24, ffs. you gave her an adequate timeline and an achievable requirement. i wouldn't accept an unemploymed roommate either.\n\nedit: aww my first award and i didn't even say anything funny. thanks! ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a student who was looking to move to a different room\/studio. I found a great place and texted back and forth with the girl who needed to find a new tenant. She told me the room was mine and to send over my info sheet and that the agency would then send me a contract. I sent in my info and qaited for over a week with no response, I kinda concluded that they might have given the contract to someone else.\n\nI look for a new place, found one and signed the contract this Friday. Now the other girl texts me saying it's weird that the agency haven't responded and that she'll swing by their building today. I inform her that I have signed another room since I didn't hear back from the agency. Now her and her sister are acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they now don't have a tenant for next month. I was always taught that before a contract is signed there is no deal but they seem to think I've broken a promise or something. ######","completion":" NTA. You didn't sign a lease, no contract is no roof over your head.  You have every right to shop elsewhere. I understand that she is mad, but she should be mad at the agency, not at you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call \"Dinah\". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake. \n\nAbout a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it. \n\nThen cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will \"never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying\". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.\n\nI've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was \"I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this\"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ######","completion":" NTA. You didn't break up the family relationship, your brother did by sending creepy, incestuous texts, and Dinah for defending that kind of unacceptable nonsense. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a white person (20F), although some people have called my country equivalent of the n-word before because i look somewhat racially ambiguous. \n\nNow i was playing games with my friend (22M) when he casually called me the n-word, not in the use of friend, but \"you fucking n-word\". I asked him to please not call ME that and he went quiet for a bit before he left the call. Then i found out he had wrote to a friend of ours, that was in the call, saying i was policing his speech. Some friends said i'm right and it was a small request to not be called something, and it shouldn't have mattered.\n\nSome friends said that I'm white and therefore shouldn't be uncomfortable with being called it.\n\nBtw for the record, i wasnt a dick about it or got angry the first time he said it, i calmy said \"please would you mind not calling me that\". ######","completion":" NTA. You didn't ask him not to use the word, you asked him to not direct it at you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short. \nI befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally. \nI sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:\n1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.\n2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car. \n3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.\n4. Started talking bad about my relationship\n5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah. \n\nI stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis. \n\nI felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.\nThe next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly. \nI told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.\n\nI felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######","completion":" NTA. You did what you needed to do to feel safe. You should still pursue the case through HR or if you're in the US report to the EEOC or your state's anti discrimination office. HR should have protected you and didn't. That's the definition of a hostile work environment ######"}
{"prompt":"So, for backstory, basically my cousin and aunt have come to my house because we'll be going to Florida in a few days. he's sixteen and I'm thirteen. The last time I saw him was three years ago, and we were pretty close.\n\nSo, my cousin, who was originally female, came out to me about an hour before he made it to my house, on the phone. I completely support him and his decision, and he's still my cousin no matter what.\n\nSo here's what happened. I made macaroni for my family since I love cooking, and we were all just catching up on stuff that happened in the three years. This is how it played out.\n\nAunt: Cute-Comb this macaroni is delicious! I didn't know you knew how to cook!\n\nMe: thanks! I've gotten really into cooking. I remember when we were little, -cousin- would scarf down any kind of pasta haha. It was crazy how she- I'm sorry he would eat anything, as long as it was pasta.\n\nAfter this, my cousin started crying at the table about how I didn't accept him as a male, which I totally do, and I apologized again for the mistake.\n\nNow though, my family is mad at me and my cousin isn't talking to me anymore. I even apologized again, but he just ignored me. I only made this mistake once, and I've called him he and him no matter what. AITA? I don't know what to do ######","completion":" NTA. You did the right thing by immediately correcting yourself and just moving on. His reaction could have much more to do with being a teenager than you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a good friend from high school that I still hang out with (we are 5 years out from high school). We hang out a decent amount but mainly just to drink and smoke and go to raves together. He’s a really nice guy and a lot of time will smoke me out or gives me rides places without me asking. I’d say we hang out at least a few times a week to smoke some weed or whatever. He had been telling me for a while that since high school I had gotten much better looking especially since I have been working out for a few years and started going to expensive barbers to get better hairstyles. I didn’t think much of it because I was aware that he had a girlfriend. The other day he suggested that I sleep over because we had been drinking quite a bit and it would be unsafe for me  to drive back to my parents house( which was a very good suggestion on his part). I said ok I’ll grab the couch in the living room and you go sleep in your room.  Fast forward to later that night I wake up and this man is grabbing my shoulders completely naked and I freak out saying don’t effin touch me or else I’ll beat you up\/call the police. I had told him multiple before when the topic came up that I was not gay at all so I’m unsure why he tried this. He goes back to his room and goes to sleep and ignores me questioning him about what the fuck just happened. I grab my things and drive back to my house and he texts me the next day saying he was blacked out and doesn’t even remember doing anything. I tell him that I don’t think we should hang out anymore because I felt completely repulsed at what had transpired. He tells me that I am being unfair because he had no control over his actions because he was so drunk. Thoughts? \n\nEdit: wanted to clarify I’m a dude not a girl since some of these responses are assuming I’m female sorry didn’t clarify in the post ######","completion":" NTA. you did nothing to warrant him trying to wake you up while he’s naked. that’s not ok on his part. i wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore either. ######"}
{"prompt":"It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself &amp; I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job &amp; easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad &amp; becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call\/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up &amp; not the other. \n\nSo, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky &amp; talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######","completion":" NTA. You did him a favor by not firing and were nice to him when he called. I’m sorry but when my DAD died the first thing I did was call my manager (who was super kind and took care of letting others at work know so they could take care of my responsibilities). We all go through bad stuff, doesn’t mean you get to just blow off work. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.\n\nI emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.\n\nNow fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund. \n\nMy brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund. \n\nWIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ######","completion":" NTA. You did everything right. Both the money and the shoes are now yours. They can't resell the shoes anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I saved up a ton of money and I decided to buy a tv for my room, snacks, and my sister’s mini fridge (she gave it to me for 50). I redecorated my room and I really love it.\nMy sisters hadn’t seen my room until earlier this year. They all love it. It was fine in the beginning. I let them come in with my permission, watch tv, and eat the snacks I bought (the ones I’m not the biggest fan of). The two other TV rooms were occupied by our parents so I understood. \nBut, after about two months, things started to go downhill. I’d wake up to them barging into my room to watch tv, I’d come home from runs and they’d be in there, I’d go to sleep with them still watching tv because they’d refuse to leave at night. They also always leave wrappers, mess up my bed sheets, and move around my bean bag chair.\nI asked them to stop doing this multiple times, but they’re all acting like entitled, spoiled brats. Whenever I ask them to leave, they all give excuses like “I used to live here” or “I gave you the fridge” or “You never use it.” I reminded them that they all have iPhone, iPads, and Mac Books, but they say that my room is better. The final straw, however, was two weeks ago. I went for a run, and my sister asked if she could use my tv. I said no because they’d come in unannounced again the day before. I left and when I came back, they were all in there watching tv. I completely flipped out and yelled at them to leave. I asked my dad to fix the lock on my door and he did. But, when they discovered it, they all freaked out. They’re all calling me spoiled, entitled, and an AH (among other things).\n\nAITA for putting the lock on to keep them out? ######","completion":" NTA. You deserve your own privacy. I have two locks on my door because my family will come in uninvited. Boundaries need to be set ######"}
{"prompt":"First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.\n\nI am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.\n\nShe told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.\n\nShe whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from \"eating dry toast this morning\" and a headache \"for eating chocolate\"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.\n\nI know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.\n\nReddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA. You could literally be saving lives by calling and forcing her hand. ######"}
{"prompt":"Apologies for my shit English. \n\nMy dad is Mongolian, my mom is Polish. I never met my father as he died before I was born. I look entirely Mongolian though I'm basically Polish as I grew up in Poland my entire life and know nothing about Mongolia. My whole life people assumed I didn't know Polish and would speak to me in English and it's fucking annoying as hell. Half hte time I couldn't even understand the English. \n\nI was at a restaurant yesterday and my waiter comes up to me and asks me in English \"hello sir can I take your order\" and I respond in Polish, \"yes I'd like this and this and this\" and he asks me in shitty English again \"would you like diet or regular coke and fries or surowka\" and again i said \"listen dude I speak Polish\" and he kept speaking English to which i said in Polish \"asshole, I've lived here my whole life, I speak Polish better than I speak Polish, Polish is my native language and stop assuming otherwise and take my fucking order in Polish bcause we live in Poland.\" \n\nHe looked shocked, went quiet and then took my order. My girlfriend was fucking pissed and said i should've jsut done it in english but fuck this shit, i've had enough of thsi my whole life and especially since i told him to speak to me in Polish and he kept going in English ######","completion":" NTA. You corrected him twice, started gently and ramping up. He's the one that basically ignored your corrections twice. The only way he's not TA is if he didn't speak Polish, but that doesn't seem to be the case. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.   \n\n\nBut he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.   \n\n\nI don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.   \n\n\nHe never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.   \n\n\nhe's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him. \n\nso, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You communicated the need for him to get his truck back multiple times.  Including prior to being laid off.  You’ve offered a secure parking option and you’re wise to get his property out of your personal possession since you’re no longer his employee.  The fallout of anything were stolen while at your house could be problematic ######"}
{"prompt":"Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory. \n\nMy brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.\n\nSo, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment\/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.\n\nMy husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be \"ashamed of myself\" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes. \n\nSo AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how \"ungrateful\" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :\/ ######","completion":" NTA. You can’t wear them, the BIL didn’t get you the right size when you asked, and most importantly they’re yours to do what you wish. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work\n\nSo they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids. \n\nWell the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.\n\nI’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######","completion":" NTA. You can’t take responsibility for random children at a home you don’t own.  Drowning is one of the main causes of death for children under 14.  You don’t know how well they can swim and I’m guessing you’re not a trained lifeguard\/certified in CPR? ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my now ex fiance moved out of our apartment. I took out all of my things, amd she had to rent a uhaul truck for all of her belongings because she owned 95 percent of the things in the apartment. I was not there to help her move because i had to work, and she did not want me up at the apartment while she was there. \n\nSo as of now, we are both moved out of the apartment. Today, i received a phone call from my ex asking me for nearly 200 dollars to pay her back for the uhaul. She claimed that i lived in the apartment, so i should help her pay for it, and i should have gone and have helped her move stuff out. I refused by stating that  1, i was not there to help her move because she did not want me at the apartment, and 2, it was her belongings in that apartment, therefore it was her responsibility and not mine. \n\nShe is now threatening to take legal action against me for the payments and to take me to court. I feel as though i owe her nothing, but maybe i was being an inconsiderate A-Hole. What do you guys make of this? Thanks. ######","completion":" NTA. You can’t make a contract without all parties agreeing to the terms from the very beginning. If she never talked to you about it beforehand, she can’t make a contract after. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed \n\nDuring rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.\n\nI then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register. \n\nI again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock. \n\nI then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######","completion":" NTA. You can’t expect someone to do so many things at once. It’s not her fault for wanting the bag but it’s her job to put the stuff in the bag after you gave her your full attention. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I ended up freezing some embryos years ago due to medical issues. We used them to have our now 4 children, and we now feel that we have enough. At the time of this conversation, we still had three left over, and we had been debating what to do with them.\n\nHer husband is horrible. They got married before my husband and I met. He's done so many horrible things both in general and to her. I've had so many talks with her about how she deserves better and how unacceptable his actions are. \n\nWe're all now in our late 30s, and they are now trying to have kids and can't (because they waited too long at HIS insistence). They're now looking at donor material, and she came to me. Absolutely not. This man shouldn't be a father and definitely not to my at least biological children. I was vague and tried to avoid a real answer. But they pushed too hard on why \"we deserve to have all those extra embryos\" and I lost my temper a little.\n\nI ended up telling him that I\/we think he's a terrible person, in no way should he have children, and she would only get my biological help if she \"dropped him\" like a diseased fish. Honestly, I hate him so much. This whole thing and the knowledge that we would only get more and more requests for them led us to the decision that we needed to use them ourselves. It worked and we had a single pregnancy. \n\nWe've been getting some comments from friends and family that we had a child out of spite and we're not better than anyone we have problems with. I don't know that that's true. We just couldn't destroy them and also couldn't trust anyone else. ######","completion":" NTA. You can refuse to give your embryos to anyone regardless of what kind of person they are. It's your embryos. It's nobody but you and your husband's choice alone. Just hope they don't hate that child and treat them badly. ######"}
{"prompt":"You've probably seen these books.  But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.\n\nWhen I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book.  Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc.  And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.  \n\nSometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a \"secret compartment book\" and decided to use that \"Care and Keeping of Husbands\" book as a guinea pig.  It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school.  Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.  \n\nWe don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.\n\nWhich would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book:  I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.  \n\nBut it does boil down to this: AITA for \"ruining\" my mom's birthday present to me? ######","completion":" NTA. You can do with your possessions as you please. It was a gift, so it was yours.\n\nSounds like you tried to give it a value, since it's words didn't hold any. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically me and my 4 year gf broke up 3 months ago, I had to keep her at my house because she and her daughter (13) didn’t have a place to go.\n\nThing is, they didn’t appreciate that, she kept initiating fights and stirring sh*t up and her shitty daughter started cussing at me and screaming every time I saw her because apparently I was piece of shit to her mother or some bs.\n\nI have had enough and gave them a room and told them to keep there and not roam around the house until she gets a job, they weren’t happy and started verbally abusing me and then they broke my tv and ps4. This was the hair that broke the camel’s back.\n\nI kicked them out immediately a week ago , few mutual friends called me and said they are sleeping in parks and are barley surviving. because they don’t have anywhere to go to (she has no family and few friends who won’t take her).\n\nAs for the legal part it doesn’t concern me much, because I’m moving out of the US soon to a country where US laws mean nothing \n\n\nAm I the asshole for not being able to keep up with them? ######","completion":" NTA. You broke up. You still offered them a place to stay and it sounds like they did everything possible to disrespect you and act ungrateful and entitled. It sucks they have to struggle now, but you are absolutely within your rights to have kicked them out. I would have probably had called the cops on them for breaking anything in my home. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. You bought it, it’s your property. He shouldn’t have done anything with it. Touching people’s things without their permission is wrong. It’s also your house. You have the final say. If you say he’s gone, he’s gone ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for wanting\/insisting the new TV (that was supposed to replace the old tv in the living room) to go into the family living room instead of my husband’s man cave? He’s very insistent that we can’t use it to it’s fullest ability and it should go in his man cave but we have a toddler and he’s in school so his free time is maybe 3 hours or less a day (he routinely stays up until 2:30 am and wakes up at 5:30 to play video games.) so it wouldn’t get much use. \n\nHowever we (toddler son and I) have been using a super old tv that has had color issues (everything is green tinted) for about a year now in the main family room\/living room. We spend more time upstairs using that tv during the day.\n\nAITA? He’s acting salty about it which seems ridiculous to me. ######","completion":" NTA. You bought it for family use. The fact that your husband has a straight-up mancave is kinda fuckin' antiquated to begin with, but him wanting to hog this item that's supposed to be for the family is just low. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night we decided that I am going to come to her apartment around 8. When I got up today it was raining and the bus was a bit late so I arrived  to her apartment around 8:10. When I knocked on the door she told me through the door that she is just going to take a quick shower. Her showers always take an hour and this was no exception. I was waiting for an hour in the rain, because she wanted to take a shower before opening the door. After she finally opened the door I was horrible. During the day she keeps asking me why I am not joyful as usual. After telling her many times that I had to wait for an hour in the rain she said: \"You that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9\". I was defeated and just went back to my place. AITA for acting the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA. You both agreed on 8 for you to arrive. She then waited until you got there to take a long shower. That's extremely inconsiderate. \n\n>she said: \"You know that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9\n\nI'm pretty sure that if you *did* show up at 9 instead, she would have done the same thing.  \n\nHer saying that to you is her way of denying any fault and disregarding your feelings. \n\nI had a friend who did this shit. We would agree on a time for me to pick her up, and she wouldn't start getting ready until I showed up. She wouldn't even be dressed! I even purposely showed up half an hour late, and she would *still* wait to get ready until I showed up. And the part that pisses me off the most was that she wouldn't even act like she was hurrying. She would just take her damn time brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, getting dressed etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this kid I'll call him John called this girl I'll call her Whitney the n word. I don't think calling someone the N word is acceptable nor is it ok. He basically called her that the day before school was cancelled for the the virus during school. The school was informed and is going to punish John obviously. I understand of course if he gets in trouble. He should. But the actions are extreme they want to permanently expell him so basically trying to ruin his education because he made a mistake. If he loses a few friends went to detention and maybe even got suspended for a few days I get that. But ruining his life isn't going to solve anything. Our super intendent of our school doesn't want to expell him permanently unless people agree with it and think it's fair. Everyone is sign-in this petition. I can't even explain how many people. I refused to sign it and I'm getting tormented, shamed and called a racist. I'm not going to support ruining a kid's life because he made a simple mistake when he was in highschool. I feel like I'm being a asshole to the person who got called the n word but also don't know what to feel. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You believe that expelling this kid is beyond the scope of what his punishment should be so you don't sign it. \n\nIt is so easy to get in the herd mentality and get peer pressured. I congratulate you for sticking with what you believe to be right. ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface: I am 27 year old male and i have arthritis in my lumbar spine as well as a bulge in the same area. My only relief is laying down supine on my bed. Every other activity hurts. Walking, sitting, standing, everything. I just finished a year of unsuccessful treatment and being young my doctor said I could be placed on permanent restrictions but not permanent disability.\n\n\nMain issue: \n\nI'm coming home from picking up my dog from my girlfriends house as she was babysitting. I get home it's like 11:15 pm. There is absolutely no parking and my dad has the driveway because he pays the bills. \n\nI ask my sister and her guests of like 8 people  if anyone is parked directly in front of our house. One guy responds and I ask politely \" if you don't mind parking somewhere else I really appreciate it. I have back issues and it would really help me out if I didn't have to walk far.\" \n\nThen my sister chimes in \" I don't give a fuck, he doesn't have to move, if you got a problem with it then take it up with dad\". \n\nI disregard her. I repeat myself to her guest a simple \" I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out \" he obliged and we switched spots. ( The nearest parking spot was about a little less than quarter of a mile upward. Thanks COVID-19 now you have everyone home there's no parking)  no harm no foul. Now I hear my sister berating me to her guests about \" how I'm such a bitch and an asshole and how I'm faking an injury\"\n\n\nNow I'm not sure if this is relevant but I feel I should mention that our mother passed away unexpectedly on June 29th, 2020 and idk if I should just chalk it up to my sister still being hurt from our mom's passing. \n\n\nI just believe that since I live here, and given my back problem i was okay in asking him to switch spots with me. \n\nWas I the asshole for doing so? ######","completion":" NTA. You asked politely,  he obliged willingly, it's all good. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking. \n\nFor years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he \"didn't actually have a problem \". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out. \n\nAbout three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids. \n\nHe started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol. \n\nI told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded \"Good. I want you to feel the way I do.\"\n\nI don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ######","completion":" NTA. You asked him why he smelled like alcohol and he immediately escalated the situation to name-calling and accusations, then told you that you deserved it. Just knowing that, you are not the asshole. His history does not help his side of the story either: while is is great that he was able to regain his sobriety, it is also unreasonable to never expect relapses. While he may have felt distrusted, you had solid grounds to question if he had been drinking. ######"}
{"prompt":"Gonna keep this short.\n\nMy girlfriend called me a \"tan\" yesterday. She said it in a really joking way, mimicking that John Mulaney line (\"that's what I thought you'd say, you fucking tan\"), and it quite took me aback, because I knew her friends used words like that but she had mentioned her father found it tasteless so it surprised me that she used it. \n\nWhen I pulled her up on it, saying I didn't like that word, she justified it by calling it a joke and then said it was ironic I was trying to control the words she used to describe \"the oppressor\" and then finally said she couldn't help it if \"your tannery was so apparent\" or something? \n\nIt has become something of a recurring thorn in our relationship, given she often justifies not getting along with someone or finding it difficult to talk to them by saying they are \"too English\" for her to relate to them or labels petty frustrations as \"the Brits getting to me\". I get that they're jokes, but she just seems so dismissive and irritated towards all things \"tan\".\n\nI ended up asking her if she needed people to be just like her in order to get along with them, and in the course of our short discussion I ended up saying it sounded like she was a xenophobe. She's brought that up again quite a few times since and I get the impression I quite hurt her feelings, but honestly I think I was justified in what I said given the context and what she had just said. ######","completion":" NTA. You asked her to stop mutiple times and she still continued making them. In my experience people who say rascist or xenophobic stuff \"ironically\" are just using humour to shield their rascism. As an irish man I find people who treat random British people like they played a part in colonising Ireland very stupid (it's a thing for some people unfortunately) and I am guessing that your girlfriend is Irish given her hate for \"Tan\". (For those who don't know the black and Tans were the name given to the English army by the Irish during the war of independence in the early 20s. They committed lots of attacks on innocent civilians and were extremely hated by the Irish people) ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old. \nOur relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.\n\nAnyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me \"hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol \"  and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions. \n\nI asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that \"we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?\" \n\nI do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing,  she just said \"yeah, and?\"\nI find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and \" just for fun.\"\n\nShe thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous. \nMeanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards. \n\n\nAdditional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is. \nAlso non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ######","completion":" Nta. You asked her to stop because you are uncomfortable with the relationship that is okay. As a female, if my bf was doing that it would be a major problem. And yes, prior sexual contact makes all the difference when speaking to someone. But that is my opinion. I just would like to say you aren't being insecure, just her behavior is making you feel that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.\n\nI (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me. \n\nShe noticed me look back her at her and she asked \"What's your name?\"\n\nI was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked \"Why?\"\n\nShe started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.\n\nInstead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being. \n\nMeanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.\n\nSo AITA? Was I being rude? ######","completion":" NTA. You aren’t obligated to tell someone your name is you’re not comfortable doing so. This girl was rude. ######"}
{"prompt":"I come from a large family. Everyone is going through a tough time right now. In particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. She was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. I get it, anxiety sucks. She says she’s ok for now but one of my other sisters started a group to try to raise money for her. I said I’ll give her money if she asks for it. \n\n  The shit hit the fan. How dare I force her to ask, I know how proud she is! I do know, I’ve offered her desperately needed money before and she’s refused. So have other family members, pride runs strong in the family. I don’t feel like doing it again. She (any of them) can ask me for money or just not get money from me. \n\nMy husband agrees with me. My entire family is calling me a bitch and kicked me out of the texting group. \nAITA here?\n\nETA I think I wasn’t clear enough. The sister who is leading the charge against me offered my underemployed sister money but she said “no” she didn’t need anything right now. Which is why I’m saying “if you need something, just ask. Let me know and I’ll help.\n\nI said “loans” but I never ask my family to pay me back and I make that clear to them. I call it a loan so they can feel better about it. That pride thing again. ######","completion":" NTA. You aren’t a psychic bank teller. If your sister wants to borrow money, she needs to ask. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7. \n\nMy SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.\n\nThe problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should \"keep looking\" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems. \nWhen we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her. \nWe haven't met her boyfriend\/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to. \n\nI was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.\nHe said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.\n\nHowever, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).\n\nSo WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ######","completion":" NTA. You aren’t “making” your husband not go. He’s choosing not to go because he’s angry with her for mistreating you. Yes, he said he’d go if you do, but that may be because he doesn’t want you to be alone with SIL and not because he really wants to be there. ######"}
{"prompt":"OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.\n\nSo I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.\n\nI never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.) \n\nMy friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.\n\nRed’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.\n\nSo, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######","completion":" NTA. You are your roommate have a really nice and considerate setup, and that only works so long as others also extend that consideration. They don't seem to get that wanting to hang out with Red when he intentionally detaches isn't showing that they like him, it's just going to stress him out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1\/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit). \n\nDue to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair?? \n\nI am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said \"I'll do something about it.\" Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.\n\nIt's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######","completion":" NTA. You are your own person. It doesn’t matter what they consider good enough or appropriate for men in your family, or even your grandma. She had her sense of normalcy, but that has long since changed since she was 17. You keep those locks hydrated and set em free, man. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away. \n\nSo now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve. \n\nSo here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week. \n\nSo here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :\/ \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You are very wise. Uprooting yourself from a stable situation to take a leap of faith across the state by moving in with your boyfriend is ... risky risky risky. I think that your suggestion of having him live on his own is a good one. You don't need to phrase it as an ultimatum - 'Live on your own and learn to manage your own affairs for six months and I'll think about it!'. Tell him he needs to go out and test the waters, get a place, see what he thinks of this new job and this new town. There's no need for both of you to rush off to a new place without knowing what's going to happen! ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn't dramatic, or too serious.   \n\n\nWe're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.   \n\n\nMy son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money. \n\nMy husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.   \n\n\nBut my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are teaching your son a good lesson about accountability. You didn’t steal his money he ‘stole’ it from his sister when he broke her property. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \n\nAs many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.\n\nWell this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart. \n\nThe group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries. \n\nI went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and\/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. You are still volunteering your time while respecting the rights of essential workers to protest. That is admirable especially considering a lot of other people are too busy to volunteer right now. Also, with a protest, it would be hard to deliver groceries anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my close friend (Q) &amp; her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it &amp; said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways. \n\nIn the process of planning (&amp; hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):\n\n1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes &amp; scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests &amp; THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests &amp; Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it &amp; agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple. \n\n2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q &amp; W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W &amp; how W has been affected. &amp; she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, &amp; it took a while before she got it. \n\nSo yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######","completion":" NTA. You are right, weddings and engagements are for the couple ######"}
{"prompt":"(20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ######","completion":" NTA. You are reasonably willing to pay a larger share due to their lack of use of most of the utilities, but sharing only the base fees isn’t a fair assessment for you. You are not suddenly using $100 more in electricity and hot water just for yourself now that everyone is away. They made the decision to stay elsewhere during quarantine but still have a responsibility to maintain their primary residence. If $100 extra a month is a financial burden for you, decide what is reasonable “extra” for you to pitch in and ask for the difference to be split between your roommates. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a \"Fucking cunt\". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.\n\nWe agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's\/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.\n\nI told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.\n\nOnly problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because \"if they get to make noise I get to make noise too\". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.\n\nAITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ######","completion":" NTA. You are protecting your children. But make sure he doesn't have a legal custody case he could build over this. You don't want him to take you to court and say you're not letting him have his agreed upon custody. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nI am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.\n\nMy mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.\nMy mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.\n\nMaybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.\n\nMy mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: \"You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her.\"\n\nMy dad doesn't know about this.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are not your sister's keeper. You aren't financially responsible for anyone other than your kids. \n\nIs it NICE to give her money? Charity is something a lot of people find to be nice. \n\nBut charity should NEVER be required. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.\n\nWIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?\n\nEDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######","completion":" NTA. You are not the parent, this is not your responsibility. Your parents are the assholes if they expect you or your brothers to do this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.\n\nThis kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.\n\nOn top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.\n\nAnd my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.  \n\n\nSo would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ######","completion":" NTA. You are not obligated to help this kid any more than you already have. If people continue to bail him out at the last second to make sure everything goes fine despite him being lazy, he'll never truly have consequences for his actions. Let him repeat the class next year. Enjoy your time off with your wife. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my Dad, his wife, and my step sister Jade (13). I am 19. \n\nJade has gotten overweight to the point where her asthma has gotten pretty severe and she has prediabetes. The doctor has told her that she need to lose weight. Unfortunately for Jade, her mother only makes like frozen packaged meals or orders takeout. \n\nWhen she and my father got married I was 12, and I gained a significant amount of weight. My mother showed me how to cook before she passed away, but my step mother refused to let me get my own fresh food to cook. \n\nI have been cooking my own meals since I got my first job.\n\nMy step mother and jade have been trying for around three months to get her to lose weight and it hasn’t been working. In my opinion it is because stepmom refuses to cook. \n\nA while ago while I was making my lunch, my step mom came up to me and asked why I don’t make  food for Jade too. I said Jade never really asks me for food, so I never thought to. She then told me that I needed to start making Jade food when I made food to help her control her weight. \n\nI told her I would be willing to show Jade how to make a few healthy meals on her own, but that I was not into cooking meals for her. Jade is pretty picky. I also have a plant based diet that Jade isn’t going to go for. Step mom got angry and told me she would be taking it up with my dad. She says that since I live here rent free (she doesn’t work so she does too tbh) I should help with this. \n\nMy dad unfortunately agrees with my step mom. He thinks I’m an ass for not offering to make her food in the first place. I told him that it’s not my problem that step mom can’t cook. She should learn. I’m going to end up cooking separate meals for myself and jade and I don’t think it’s fair. \n\nThey have even told Jade that I don’t care about her because I won’t cook her food. Everyone in the house thinks I’m an asshole, am I really an asshole for not cooking her food? ######","completion":" NTA. You are not her parent. She has 2 perfectly good parents that can cook for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I start I should go ahead and apologize for any formatting errors because I am on mobile. \n\nOk so my mom has recently decided to join a Facebook religious cult. She pretty much adds anyone she can on Facebook that is in this group with her. A majority of them are random men from other countries. She has never met any of them. She also has a lot of meth heads on there too. She is a “recovering” meth addict (she claims that she doesn’t so drugs anymore, but her actions speak differently). \n\nAnyways, I recently posted pictures of my daughter on Facebook and tagged her and other family members in them. She is also tagged in older pictures of my children as well. I started getting notifications that these random men were liking and commenting on every single picture of my daughter that my mom is tagged in. They were only commenting and liking pictures of her by herself. They would say that she is the most beautiful girl they have ever seen and that they love her blonde hair and asked my mom to post more pictures of her. She is six years old. I blocked all of them and removed all of the tags of my mom. \n\nThis is where I’m not sure if I over reacted or if I was justified in doing this. Because now my mom and grandma are telling me that I am trying to keep my mom out of my daughters life by not tagging her in pictures. My grandma told me that I’m a huge disappointment and that I shouldn’t judge the men just because they said she’s beautiful. So Reddit.... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are looking out for the safety of your daughter and keeping her away from the eyes of these skeevy ass strangers. Your mom and grandma are being naive af about the situation and that's not your fault if they don't understand. ######"}
{"prompt":"On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn. \n\nOur sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name. \n\nI’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me. \n\nWould I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ######","completion":" NTA. You are expressing yourself just as they are. It may come off as a bit passive aggressive to them but honestly who cares. I'd buy 3 more lol ######"}
{"prompt":"So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan\/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are entitled to what you feel but those are ultimately his kids. You can't control how he raises them. \n\nHowever, if you do want to influence his kids to be more tolerant, reason with them instead of telling them. For example, ask them why do they think gay people are bad? What have they done to deserve being called bad? \n\nChildren love to be taken seriously. Having conversations like these may actually help them think and reason for themselves instead of blindly following their father. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study. \n\nI moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats. \n\nThe \"\"\"problem\"\"\" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.\n\nHe basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger. \n\nDespite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said \"we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent\". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ######","completion":" NTA. You are entitled to personal space. Who gave him keys to your old flat? If it WASN'T you, bring that up. If it WAS you, then you need to make it clear that you gave him those keys as a sign of trust, and he violated that by not giving you any warning when he was coming over. Tell him that surprise visits are unwelcome, and if he can abide by only coming over when you've approved the visit, then he can earn back the privilege of having his own keys, but you have the right to take those keys back if he keeps violating your boundaries. \n\nYou are allowed to have boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy. \n\nLinda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this. \n\nLinda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play. \n\nLinda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”. \n\nWhen my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave. \n\nMy sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are completely correct in your reasoning and I really think you should give your cousin a heads up on this. My heart hurts for that little girl. Please tell her I would love to play with her if I could. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances &amp; cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with  shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.\n\nFirst incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short &amp; I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that &amp; she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less. \n\nSecond incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work &amp; I'm in my shorts &amp; baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.\n\nMy stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed &amp; asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.\n\nSo reddit, please give me some input. ######","completion":" NTA. You are an adult. Bodies are not inherently sexual. You should be allowed to be comfortable at home. He is your dad. Your step mother sounds gross and sexist. There is just so much assholery going on here, but none of it because of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house \"unsafe\" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You are an adult, not a toddler that needs to be checked up on throughout thr night. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and I (18F) have always had an extremely close relationship. Basically I have always talked to her about everything and she is someone I look to for guidance.  I started dating this guy (18M) at the beginning of college. My mom, being pretty religious, has always made it clear she wants me to wait until marriage to have sex. I agree with her on most things, but not this. I think it is my decision when I want to have sex and with whom.\n\nAnyway, I started taking birth control about a month ago because I planned on having sex with my boyfriend. But we got sent home from college so it never happened. But I’m still taking the birth control because we probably still will.\n\nAnyway, my mom saw my birth control and asked me if I’m having sex. I said no. She then accused me of lying for days. Eventually, we talked and she finally believed me when I told her I’m not yet but am planning to.\n\nThen she said that she would like to know when we do decide to so we can talk before hand, I know it’s just going to be her last attempt at trying to discourage me. I told her it’s my decision and she doesn’t need to know when and now she’s mad. AITA? Since it’s wouldn’t be any trouble for me to just tell her, but I don’t think it’s her business. ######","completion":" NTA. You are an adult so it’s not her business to know. Your body, your choice. \n\nAnd birth control isn’t always for preventing pregnancies. I take birth control to help with acne. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nSo my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.\n\nEdit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######","completion":" NTA. You are allowed to have limits of what you consider comfortable, and sharing sexual texts with a coworker can absolutely be outside of your comfort zone.\n\nHe has agreed with you that you are allowed to be uncomfortable, and has agreed to suspend the activity. So I'd give him some time to see if he's just busy, or if he's sulking, or what he's up to. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######","completion":" NTA. You are allowed to eat whatever you want. You also respect the fact that he has allergies, and accommodate to him. He should respect that even after you eat it you do everything to can to make sure he is not harmed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bare with me, this will probably be a long one. \n\nMe (31F, no siblings) and my boyfriend (M27) of 8 years are going to hopefully be buying our first home this year. Something I never thought I would be able to do considering my childhood.\n\nMy mother (63) has undefined mental health issues (it’s a mixture of being a narcissist and bi polar, at a guess) and is living with my father (66) illegally because she refused to get a job once the government stopped giving her money when I turned 18. My dad pays for everything for her with what little money he has.\n\nMy childhood was rough, I lived in poverty and because of my mothers issues she refused to allow me to get an education. My childhood was pretty bad, think no dinners, no friends, not allowed outside the house unless accompanied by her. Not because of money issues (we were poor but we would technically be able to buy food\/electricity\/clothes\/etc), but simply my mother was too lazy\/too mentally unwell to do anything about it. In turn I had severe anxiety and depression up until I met my boyfriend and my boyfriend got me out of the apartment I was in. My dad intervening in my education when I was 18 and that was the reason why I managed to be lucky enough to meet my boyfriend.\n\nNow, my dad keeps jokingly saying would there be space for him and\/or my mother in my new house. I know he’s half serious. But I really, really do not want to take my mother into my home, if anything happens to my dad my mother may technically be out on the streets and will plead with me to take her in. But I simply cannot do that. I have worked extremely hard to get into the position I am in now to have a normal anxiety free life (I’m now medicated), but I fear my mother will wail and cry asking me how could I do this to her, when my question was how could she do what she did to me as a child?\n\nSo, WIBTA if I point blank refuse to allow either of my parents to live in my home? ######","completion":" NTA. You are allowed protect your health and mental health recovery above and beyond anything else after working so hard to get well. \n\nYour parents don’t have the right to expect you to allow them to move in with you and while your mothers potential future homelessness is sad it is not your fault or responsibility.\n\nHave you heard the saying. “You aren’t obliged to set yourself on fire to keep others warm”? ######"}
{"prompt":"My [18f] boyfriend [18m] and I have been together for 2 years and are moving out together soon. He sort of wants a roommate to help pay rent and everything, but none of our friends want to do it except one.\n\nI've known this friend longer than I've known my boyfriend, and he has always made me very uncomfortable. He used to be really into me and would just generally be creepy. He's gotten better about it, but I just have this gut feeling that it won't turn out good and it makes me very, very deeply uncomfortable, partially because of some past experiences.\n\nI don't want this to seem like my boyfriend is just being a dick. He is not. His reasoning for this is that it will take a pretty good chunk out of what we have to pay, and he likes said friend. I see how it might be nice, but I've been calculating my ass off and we'd both have a good 4 or 5 hundred or more each month after paying rent, groceries, etc. \n\nIt's a good reason, but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that screams this is an awful idea. I can honestly barely stand to be around this person more than an hour or two, and he makes me deeply uncomfortable. This is stressing me out so much and every time I try to talk to him about it he gets mad, even if he's the one who brings up talking about it. This is to the point where it makes me not want to even live with my boyfriend, but my home life is so draining and stressful that either one sounds awful. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.\n\ntl;dr: my friend makes me very deeply uncomfortable but my partner sees it as absolutely necessary that we let him move in. ######","completion":" NTA. You are a member of this house just as much as he is. Any additions need to have a 100 percent backing from both of you. Home is where you need to relax and rest and if this friend of yours can’t allow you to do that, he’s not fit to be your roommate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nFirst of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.\n\nRecently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)\n\nMy parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment. \n\nI don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######","completion":" NTA. You are 20. There is no way to predict what you want and who you’ll be with in 10 or 15 years. It is ridiculous to NOT save your eggs now, when it is free to do so, JUST IN CASE you aren’t with him them. If you marry and stay together forever and still don’t want them, no harm no foul. Many women are now freezing eggs so that they can concentrate on their careers and just have one less thing to worry about... or delay worrying about. Some companies even pay for it! \n\nI am happily child free, but I always assumed I had time to decide. Cue turning 38 and I took some tests to just learn more about my body and I have basically 0 eggs left. Like I’m literally perimenopausal 12 years early. Thank god, I’m ok with that, but if I wasn’t, I’d be shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for donor eggs and ivf. I am also not even close to being with the guy I was with at 20, much less the same mindset. Just do it. He either gets over the fact that you have the ability to one day have kids or he doesn’t. But that’s a “risk” with most women he will date or marry. If he doesn’t, I feel like this is a really good time to know a) how he feels about even the idea of kids and b) how he feels about the concept of bodily autonomy and preventative health care. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).\n\nI'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. You and your ex had experiences. Deleting the photos won't mean those experiences happened. There are no reasons to delete the picture (or any of the pics if you had wanted to keep them). ######"}
{"prompt":"For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.\n\nThis summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food\/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house. \n\nMy internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out. \n\nToday my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said \"enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us\" and hung up. \n\nAITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######","completion":" NTA. You already paid for the flight and made other plans. If he wanted your help with the driving he should have asked you earlier. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) am currently stuck in my apartment with my 2 other roommates (Dave, 27M; Sarah 24F). We all met through mutual friends and have a good roommate relationship, we aren't close friends but in normal times we do things together occasionally.\n\nRecently we've been sharing food costs and everyday a different roommate does the cooking and we all eat. We each have certain foods we don't like and are allowed to take a pass on that food being cooked. For one of my roommates (24F) she expects meat at every meal and will actively avoid vegetarian or vegan foods. It's not a health thing it's a preference thing and she has told us as much.\n\nWell my one roommate (Dave), went grocery shopping the other day and came back with some Chorizo that I had requested for making Shaksuka. It turned out really good and Sarah expressed interest in having the meal again. She had never had Chirozo before and so she dug the wrapper out of the garbage to see what spices were in it. It's then that we found out Dave had accidentally bought 'soyrizo' rather than the meaty kind. Sarah was livid and starting saying I was trying to trick her into being vegan. (Note: none of us are vegan or vegetarian nor have ever been). Dave and I told her it was an accident but she wouldn't hear it. She's been ignoring us since last night and has since stated she will be cooking her own food and will be taking her pans into her room so that we won't 'contaminate them with tofu'.\n\nI understand her frustration but the whole thing was an accident that I unfortunately can't undo. I think this while thing is just a misunderstanding but it's getting hostile in the apartment and I'm starting to feel like the asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. You \"understand her frustration\"? How? What is there to understand? She's insane. And an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds bad but here me out\n\nI have a child who is 18. My daughter knew that my wife was having an affair with another women for 2 years and she had evidence off it stored on her phone. Me and my wife are not able to afford a lot of things I had my suspicions when my wife gave my daughter a 2000 dollar gift   on her birthday when we are normally not able to afford it and the money did not came out of our bank accounts. I also had more suspicions that when my wife started giving her more expensive gifts in general.\n\nToday I was checking my daughters phone cause my daughter was caught with porn and that she was also caught bullying people. I found some texts to a random lady that my wife was cheating with and that my daughter said she can't wait to meet her new mother and she can't wait to leave her dirty old father. My daughter also said stuff like Men are gross and disgusting to look at and how they should all be in jail\n\nWhen my daughter asked for her phone (I paid for it) I refused to give it to her telling her that she could ask her new mom for one. My daughter asked what new mom and showed her text she tried her best to having a poker face but she broke. I told my daughter that from now on I am no longer her father and I don't want nothing to do with her.\n\n I said you have a new mother now your mom's new gf. My daughter asked what about her college that I was supposed to pay for her. I told her I am using that money for vacation eventually and that she can expect her new mom to pay for it. My daughter angrily left and when she sees me she yells at me so aita for not wanting anything to do with my daughter after she betrayed me. ######","completion":" NTA. Yes she is young but she knew exactly what she was doing. You can’t blame this on ignorance ######"}
{"prompt":"My provincial government has released a 3.5 million dollar support fund for university students, and a 1.5 million dollar fund for indigenous students. \n\nI couldn’t care less. Having a separate fund for indigenous students (who make up a decent percentage of the university population) will likely result in more money for all of us. So it may work out better for literally every student? At least that’s what I believe. \n\nMy mom sent the news article to our family chat, accompanied with “they don’t work and get free school. OP, aren’t you mad about this? You work your butt off to pay for school”. I went up to her in person and said that I already applied for funding so I don’t care, and that it was a really harmful thing to say in front of my 14 year old brother that “natives don’t work”. \n\nShe started bitching at me about how lazy they are and I said that she was being a racist and it’s disgusting. She stomped to her room and slammed the door to call my father. I just received an angry text saying that was disrespectful to call my mother a racist and I have no idea what racism is. \n\nAITA for saying she’s racist?? ######","completion":" NTA. Yeah, what she said is racist, plain and simple and your father is enabling it at the very least. ######"}
{"prompt":"I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like  havinv my own kid.  \nMy brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ######","completion":" NTA. Y'all need to have a serious discussion about how much work he's offloading onto you. ######"}
{"prompt":"First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.\n \nIt turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.\n \nI still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.\n \nI’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Y'all made a deal, and there's no extenuating circumstances. She just doesn't want to do it.\n\nBut for the sake of your relationship, consider calling the whole thing off, unless you want to spend the rest of the summer having this argument. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf. Your husband has no respect for you. If this is something that you are uncomfortable with, and you have expressed this to him, and he continues to do it, he is not being fair to you at all. This is not normal behavior, and in my opinion, borders on emotional cheating. The fact that he dismisses your concerns as “insecurities” is even worse. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday was my \\[24f\\] birthday.  My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)\n\nBirthdays have never been big in my family.  I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside.  So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead.  Neither of my parents said anything.  I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.\n\nMy mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family.  She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today.  Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed.  I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with.  It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received.  That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday.  So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him.  And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf? How can they seriously expect you to want to spend your birthday with them when they haven’t cared for the past 10 years? You want to spend it with someone who actually cares about you and that’s completely fine. Plus, you invited them to dinner tonight so I don’t see their problem. Clearly they’re jealous. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was still dating my wife I spent a christmas at her place and with her family. They had this bullshit rule that I couldn't see teh family opening up their presents so they told me to wait in the basemnt. I didn't think it would tkae so long but it  took 2-3 hours. \n\nMy gf's sisters' bfs were down there too. The three of us played pool and one of htem brought a bunch of beers so we actually had a lot of fun. One of them had been in this situation for a previous christmas or two so he came prepared this time with all the beers. We became really good friends after this actually. I normally would've said fuck this but my apartment and my family were in other states so I couldn't. After about 2-3 hours they let us out of the basement and we were a fairly drunk. \n\nFamily is pissed off but what did they expect, they ditched us for several hours in the basemnt, that was hella fucked up. Its bullshit that we couldn't be there for that, especially since my girlfriend and some of their family members got me gifts and I brought gifts for 10 people in that room. (basically everyone i knew personally). \n\nwe had the christmas lunch\/supper or whatever nad when it was time for us to leave they asked me how did i enjoy the Christams party and I said it sucked but hte best part was chilling with the boys down in the basemnt. Girlfriend was kind of pissed and so was the family. I havn't apologized since and my wife is telling me i need to post this here to see who's right. I was still drunk when that happened and honestly i feel bad for getting drunk on christmas, im not sure if that was right and not because of the family, but i feel like that might have been disrespectful to Jesus though im not sure, if any priests\/pastors are here , tell me if that was wrong. Anyways i dont think i owe my wife's family na apology cuz what they did was messed up yo ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf kind of rule is that? If that's their tradition then they shouldn't invite non family, or maybe don't do gifts while you have company. They were incredibly rude especially since you and others brought gifts to exchange. What the hell are they getting each other that their guests need to be kept in the dark. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.\n\nSo around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints. \n\nAnyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg. \n\nHalfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?\n\nTL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######","completion":" NTA. WTF is wrong with your mom? ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother. \n\nOf course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard. \n\n A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”.\n\nI went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf is wrong with your husband’s family?  It is absolutely their business that their very young relatives are being put in dangerous situations. ######"}
{"prompt":"Keeping somethings vague because otherwise, they are too identifiable   \n\n\nMy husband and I have known each other for 12+ years, married for 7. We have kinky sex lives, and I am not straight (bi), I dated women before him. But we have always had a monogamous relationship. About 2 years ago he started kidding about a threesome (or so I thought), and I laughed it off as sex talk or what you say when you are kinda drunk. Whatever.   \n\n\nI am not actually opposed to the idea, but I think there has to be a larger (sober) conversation about boundaries, expectations, ect .... which we have never had because it wasnt a real possibility to me. He would in the heat of sex talk dirty about how much he would like to see me and another girl, but I thought it was just that, dirty talk.   \n\n\nFast-forward to now, I find out (because he told me during sex) that not only has he posted pictures of me to reddit without me knowing but that he has been talking to a woman that commented on the picture about setting up a threesome. He set her pictures of me, and sent her a dick pic next to a ruler .... He volunteered all of this, and then later gave me his reddit password like there was nothing wrong .....  \n\n\nFor so many reasons I am upset. This is a man I have trusted for 12 years, and I feel like he used me overnight and doesnt see whats wrong with it. I actually havent confronted him yet because I dont know if I am overreacting .... I never actually said no, I thought it was obvious and that we were roleplaying. ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf is wrong with him. Talking dirty is one thing, sending dick pics and nudes of your wife without her permission or knowledge is an entirely different thing. What a douche. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nNeedless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch\/use\/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place.\" Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. Wtf is wrong with her? I thought you were going to say that she wanted to take home one of your sweaters or something (I disagree with even doing that, but I would at least be more sympathetic), but taking whole outfits? That's... weird. Definitely not okay and you are right to be upset. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.\n\nMy mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.\n\nToday, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.\n\nAITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######","completion":" NTA. Wow. That is....disturbing levels of breaking boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my parents have been having issues for as long as I can remember, but the last few months it has gotten worse. Today my parents called me (F21) and my little brother downstairs to announce they're getting a divorce. My dad was adamant in saying \"this is your mom's doing, I don't want this, all the hurt is on her\", without ever reflecting on his own wrongdoings in this relationship.  \n\nI fully understand that he is hurt in this situation and that he doesn't want to hear from his own daughter that she agrees to a divorce- Basically agreeing to breaking up the family. I tried to explain that I rather see them happy separately and that a house filled with arguments and emotional manipulation isn't a good place for me and my little brother. \n\nHe interrupted me saying that he called me down to have his \"semi-adult\" daughter try to mend their relationship and support them in fixing their marriage- like a mediator. He stood up, pointed his finger in my face, and said: \"I'm disappointed, disappointed, disappointed. Here you are siding with your mom to wreck this family.\". \n\nI know it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but how can he expect me to lie and side with him when I don't agree at all? I have tried in the past to help my parents out- my mom had compromised tremendously and my dad simply can't see what is so frustrating to my mom (the fact that he just can't see his inability to put himself into someone else's shoes and understanding people can have a different opinion without it making him the bad guy). \n\nSo, I suppose what I am wondering is: am I the asshole for having said what I said in a very polite way? I've been crying my eyes out for over an hour now. Just hearing my dad say I'm a disappointment so unapologetically really fucking hurts. ######","completion":" NTA. Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Your mother is clearly unhappy in this marriage, and you’re incredibly strong for resisting your father’s attempts to emotionally manipulate his children in an attempt to force her to stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Wow there's a lot here. Firstly, congrats on your engagement! Your fiance sounds like a lovely, lucky woman. Secondly, screw your family. They don't get to say awful things to you and the woman you love all the while expecting to party on your dime.\n\nDon't invite them. \n\nYour friends have never encountered such personal hate before, so they don't get a say. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us. \nI generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.\nA few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue. \nAm i overreacting? Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. WOW that is creepy. You're not overreacting at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library\/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https:\/\/pbs.twimg.com\/media\/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https:\/\/twitter.com\/FinalFantasy\/status\/842760746463387648\/photo\/3) [that I have displayed](https:\/\/www.thewebernets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.\n\nI still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.\n\nWe have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######","completion":" Nta. Would she rather you spend Friday night at home painting models, or out doing body shots with the guys? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family. \n\nBackground: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother.  \n\nSituation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant.\n\nThe day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them. \n\nAn hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole. \n\nShe called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH. \n\nWas it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######","completion":" NTA. Would it have been a nice thing to do? Yeah. Are you in any way obligated to do that? Not really. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.\n\nThe first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.\n\nIf this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days. \n\nI live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach\/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######","completion":" NTA. Worst case scenario, they find the dog is fine. Otherwise, you save a dog. Ring it in. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'\n\ncontext: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig. \n\nonto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had. \n\na few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again. \n\nso, AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. Words have different meanings sometimes to different cultures. Not your place to impose your own interpretation based on your culture when in someone else's. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.\n\nTDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed\n\nSide note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s  stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######","completion":" NTA. Why????? Why would he lick a muffin and put it back???? Why would he RECORD IT???? What was there that he could possibly gain, just fucking eat it and get it over with good god ######"}
{"prompt":"Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.\n\nWhen I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.\n\nI had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.\n\nI'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.\n\nSo was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######","completion":" NTA. Why would your mom hide your diagnoses from you? Even as a minor, you deserve to know what exactly is going on with your body, because it’s your own body. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a week ie one class for about 2\/3 hours a day. This gives her more than enough time to work and study as well. \nOnce she arrived here, I tried to help by securing a cheap room near her campus, taking her to value village (It’s like Goodwill) for fall and winter clothes, driving her to grocery shops and fast food places to drop her resume and others. I should add I live in a different town almost 2 hours away from her but I did my best to get her situated.\nUnfortunately I have been paying her rent for the 6 out of 8 months she’s been here. This is because she spent all her money on shopping sprees, taking Uber rides instead of the bus to school, ordering food and pizza all the time instead of cooking. My husband and i have adviced her constantly on doing better on several occasions.\nShe finally got a part time job a month ago and instead of paying off her rent, got an iPhone 10. She’s also on probation at school and has the potential of being withdrawn from the school.\n\nNow my mum won’t stop crying and begging me to pay for my sister’s rent and food and I refuse to do so. I offered to have her stay with us but I’m in a “village” so that’s out of the question. We can’t tell my uncle because he expected her to be able to manage what he gave her and tbh things aren’t as good as they used to be because of the virus. I should add I have a young baby and I haven’t worked in a year. My husband has put his foot down this time and won’t help because of my sister’s lifestyle\/decisions so far.\n\nSo AITA because I wouldn’t bail out my sister? ######","completion":" NTA. Why would your mom expect you to pay her bills? If she wants to bail her out, that’s on her, but you should never be held responsible for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, basically, for the past month, I've been planning a cross country move back to my college town. I had some plans to stay with friends, and get there on July first so I can move in.\n\nWhen I told my mom I was moving out, she was somewhat upset with me with how sudden it was, and was upset I didn't give her enough time to make plans for her to take time off work so she could come with me.\n\nSo I decided to post pone my move in date to a later date - about a week off. But this also means not staying with some of my friends along the way, and means me sitting around for another week extra while I wait.\n\nI'm considering telling her tomorrow that it might be better if I go earlier and by myself so I can stick to my original plan. I know this is probably going to upset her and she won't like it....but would I really be the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Why would she assume she would be going? It's very odd. ######"}
{"prompt":"We're 28. We're dual citizens of the US and the place we currently live. We both have cushy jobs with a multi-national, but back home I used to drive big rigs and busses, my side job here is a home-call mechanic. Her side job is as a fixed wing medivac pilot. \n\nShe might fly planes well, but she can't drive cars. She failed her driving test in the US numerous times before finally getting it. She's had her US license for about a year. Here she had her international permit suspended for a wreck where she was determined to be at fault, then she went through with getting locally licensed - she got suspended once on her probationary license for criminal excedd speed + following too closely. She got it back but then got revoked for another at-fault wreck while unaccompanied as a probationary driver. She has to go back to driving school to try again for a student license (then probationary, then full). \n\nIt's monsoon here. We were on a rural 6 lane highway with a 130kph limit. It was pouring rain with next to no visibility and incredibly windy. As your supposed to do, I pulled over to the far right lane. I was matching the speed of the cars distantly infront of me doing about 40kph. We were being passed by cars going the speed limit in the left lanes, and she was freaking out saying we need to go the speed limit. I told her twice that we're okay where we are, the visibility isn't good enough and obviously other people agree since the entire rightmost lane was doing 40kph. \n\nShe kept saying we need to speed up. I told her that her license is revoked for a reason, I'm driving, and I'm obeying the law. \n\nShe wasn't really happy with me saying that. ######","completion":" NTA. why tf she's so worried about driving faster? Are you guys late? Or does she like living stupidly dangerous? ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf’s birthday was today and she wanted to do a social distance get together with our friends (With our city having a really low amount of COVID cases they relaxed a lot of restrictions). Our mutual friends consist of us, and two other woman: and we all met in high school. Our one friend, let’s call her M, recently got out of a relationship with someone really toxic, and decided to start dating again. She asked us if she could bring her new boyfriend along to but she didn’t want to tell us who he was so she could surprise us. The only clue we got was that we went to school with him. \n\nLo and behold we get together in our backyard and in comes my childhood bully with my friend M. While I appreciate that she wanted to surprise us, I think she was unaware who she was bringing along. Tbh I don’t think he even recognized me, but I instantly recognized him. Things got really awkward when he started bragging about his life, etc etc. Suddenly it felt like the purpose of the party was lost. Then he just excused himself to go inside the house, even though we were supposed to be just outside. \n\nI stopped him at the door and told him to leave my property, and I also said he wasn’t welcome here. He was shocked and very defensive saying “he just had to wizz and take a chill pill”. I promptly kicked him off my property, and my friend went with him. I apologized to my gf, and she understood why. However my friend is super angry with my and my other friend is taking her side. ######","completion":" NTA. Why should you have to be around someone who clearly caused you some trauma, honestly those friends should try to understand your perspective on this. Though to play devil's advocate for a moment, did he change? Also did the friend who's dating him know about how he used to bully you? ######"}
{"prompt":"Today I had someone confront me about my home made face mask. I made a standard face mask with 2 layers of cotton fabric. To make it look cute I added some lace to the front of it. It doesn't affect the functionality of it as far as I know.  \n\nI was told that face masks are safety and not for vanity. I was told it's wrong to turn a face mask into a fashion statement and I should reconsider why I'm wearing a face mask.  I'm actually embarrassed and I'm considering taking my face mask apart and removing the lace. I made it the way I did because I have made so many of them and I get so bored from how repetitive it is. Adding lace was a way to challenge myself. Maybe I'm selfish for keeping the fanciest one I have made so far. \n\nI already get enough grief from non mask wearing folks. ######","completion":" NTA. Why must practical things look utilitarian? We might as well make masks look good, we’ll be wearing them for a while. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.\n\nToday I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.\n\nShe said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.\n\nShe got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.\n\nShe blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Why is she your girlfriend if she belittles you this much? She can't be enjoying your chess games for any reason other than that she's kicking your ass. I guess she really likes making it clear how much better than you she is, and when deprived of that opportunity she throws a fit. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24M) still live at home, I'm aiming to move out within the next two years.\n\n\n\nMy sister (18F)  usually lives with my dad but has been spending more time with us, shes been with her boyfriend for 3 years, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2.\n\n\nMy mother is obsessed with the idea of having a grandchild, she wont stop talking about it with me and my girlfriend but we dont want children.\n\nSo, she turned the \"joke\"  onto my sister.\n\nShe brings it up every chance she can.\n\nWe were eating dinner last night when my mother once again said \"so when are you giving me a grandson *sisters name*?\" \n\nThis wouldn't be a problem if she wasnt sending my sisters childrens names and if she was joking, she tries to pass it off as a joke but we can tell shes being serious.\n\nMy sister genuinely feels pressured, she doesnt have a backbone though so wont complain.\n\nI snapped at my mother and told her to back tf off, she isnt getting a grandchild from either of us anytime soon and maybe she should focus on parenting her son (10) instead of this BS.\n\nShe didnt react but later on we heard her crying about it to our dad.\n\nMy father texted me and my sister telling us if we cant take a joke and will be disrespectful we both know where the door is and can leave at anytime, and that we are assholes for being oversesnsitve and that I could've let my sister deal with it (she really doesnt like arguments)\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Why is it that some parents feel it’s okay to bully their children into reproducing? \n\nKeep your foot down on this one OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy. \n\nI asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.\n\nHe keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he \"forgot\" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning \"hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p \" he laughs and agrees. \n\nSo the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the \"oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!\" Excuse) . \n\nInstead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that. \n\nI feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have \/ what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Why is it fine for him to eat your food, but the second the shoes on the other foot he packs a sad? This will hopefully teach him some boundaries! ######"}
{"prompt":"I know how I might be wrong. Calling my wife out  in public, adhering to a sexist stereotype, etc. I know hoe she might be in the wrong, lying and adhering to a sexist stereotype.\n \nSo, let’s start the story. Yesterday, a couple of my friends, my wife and I were video chatting. Casually, someone asked who was the breadwinner in our relationship. She full on lies and says that she’s the breadwinner. I think she expected for me to say nothing. I just mentioned that she was lying and that I actually earned more than her\n \nThe thing is I wouldn’t’ve cared if she didn’t answer or if she said that was sexist. I honestly wouldn’t’ve. But she falsely said that she did earn more than me. That’s entirely wrong, I earn more than twice than she does.\n \nMy wife is pretty mad and won’t talk to me because “I called her out” and “I was being a sexy(st) jerk”\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Why is her friend asking about her finances and why is she lying about them? ######"}
{"prompt":"Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.\n\nMyself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.\n\nWe are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######","completion":" NTA. Why is he not sympathetic for your side? He caused the problem, it's his problem, he should be solving the problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, I had to get this off of my chest because I’m still stewing about it. This happened yesterday. \n\nMy state is slowly lifting covid sanctions so my parents decided to drag me and my brother to a plant nursery. Afterward, we stopped by my parents’ friend’s house to drop off some trees we had bought for them. We were only supposed to stay for five minutes but parents never mean it when they say that. \n\nFor context, I’m in my twenties and I am lucky enough to live with my parents so I can aggressively pay off my student loans. I have a full time job that is about 14 hours a day and an hour commute one way. I’m writing this before work. So since I get up at 3am and have a long day ahead of me, I’m very strict with my sleep and aim to go to bed around 8pm. If I get less than 7 hours, I crash in the middle of the day. \n\nBasically what it boils down to is my parents were having a great time shooting the shit and getting drunk and I was anxious about everything I had to do the night before work. So when it got to be 6pm and they had been telling me we were leaving soon for the last two hours, and they were pouring more wine I said “please, no more wine, can we go home?” \n\nThis turned into a whole thing and I almost called an Uber but they ended up getting motivated to leave at around 6:30. So all the way home, for 30 minutes, I got lectured about how selfish I am and how I can’t make sacrifices for my family. I was so angry because the argument made no sense to me. Yeah, I do think my sleep is more important than you getting drunk with friends, do that on your own time without dragging me and my brother along. And I don’t care that you haven’t seen your friends in months, we’re in a pandemic, no one has seen their friends. But apparently I embarrassed them, ruined the mood, and need to relax about work. \n\nSo tell me reddit, which one of us is overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. Why drag you along and leave you no way to get back when you have to work the next day? They could have dropped you off and returned, rather than keeping you stranded there *for hours*. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and a friend rent an apartment together. Her mom recently just came to stay for a little bit because her water is off in her house. Recently I found out that her mom has been using my things.\n\nFor example: My spray on deodorant, toothpaste, bodywash, shampoo, towels, loofah, etc.\n It grossed me out because I don't know this woman very well and I'm not comfortable with the idea of her using my things. I wasnt trying to start any conflict, so I kindly asked my roommate to buy her mom some of her own stuff to use.\n\nHer response was that since I let her use my stuff sometimes, I should let her mom as well. Plus apparently her mom likes my stuff better since it's more expensive. We went back and forth for a bit until she finally gave in and said she'd tell her mom to stop.\n\nThe final straw came when I went into the bathroom yesterday morning and her mom was using my curling iron. After that, I moved all the stuff I paid for into my room. My roommate confronted me, saying her mom was upset because none of the stuff she used was there anymore. I told her until her mom can  buy her own stuff to use, I wont be putting any of mine back in the bathroom. We havent talked since.\n\nWas I being too rash with my decision? Or selfish? ######","completion":" NTA. Why does she not have her own stuff to use? That is just weird. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.\n\nBio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order. \n\nAita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######","completion":" NTA. Why do parents even lie about this stuff? It's only going to lead to drama down the line... ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy f17, Brother in law m37,\nHe has been violating my privacy lately, :going into my room without my premission, taking my phone without premission, he's been all around bossy and asshole.\nWhen he found out about me posting about him online, he said he'd tell on me to my sister, but he didn't.\nAfter what happened I set a password on my phone, didn't get the chance to get a lock for my door yet.\n\nToday, He was snooping around looking for something, I didn't know what it was cause i didn't ask.\n\nI just secretly followed him, while video recording to show to my sister that he's been walking into my room\/taking my stuff without premission.\n\nMy door was half open, he walked in and started looking around my desk.\nHe went through half my drawers.\nMumbling something.\n\nAnyways, I got closer, I basically stood near the door to get this on camera, he turned around and caught me and asked what I was doing.\n\nI told him to get out of my room right then, he walked up to me, snatched my phone and saw That I was video recording him.\nHe asked \"what is this? You're posting a video about me online?\"\n\nI told him\"no, give me back my phone\" he said that this is what it is, and that just cause he let the \"shit talking\" about him on the internet go, doesn't mean I can go far as to post videos online, he said he was gonna tell my sister this time, and my parents to about this behavior.\nI deleted the video quickly, so that he won't have proof and went out to my friend's place.\n\nI'm super worried, he'd make up some story about me doing this to post it online, I was just trying to get proof of him going into my room where he shouldn't. ######","completion":" NTA. Why did you delete the video? You WANTED proof of what he was doing, right? \n\nThe antidote to lies is not fear, it is the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was a vegetarian for 3 years, and since been a vegan short over 3 years. My old sister a vegetarian for around 6 years and my youngest sister a vegetarian for around 4 years. \n\nMy parents are divorced and my sisters and I live with my dad and see my mom probably once a week. My dad has been a vegetarian for as long as I know, probably since I was 8, around 12 years but mom still eats meat (which is completely fine). \n\nMy youngest sister and I were going to my moms cottage for a week and she meal prepped us some veggie meals to bring because the meals she was planning to eat throughout the week all had meat. Probably on our third or fourth day at the cottage, my mom was making chili for dinner. My sister and I both assumed that my mother was preparing us the meal prepped chili she made us, which she told us she was. As we began eating it, we saw and tasted ground beef. We confronted her causing a huge fight to break out. Since then we haven’t talked to my mom, it’s been about 3 weeks. ######","completion":" NTA. Why are people like this, it’s not cute. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I sometimes make desserts, majority cakes, but I haven’t really been able to do so in the past few months because of school and work. However, because of the things currently going on in the world, I’m not working at the moment so I’ve had a lot of free time recently. Just two weeks ago, I was finishing decorating a two tier cake i had made when my cousin suddenly showed up at my house. She was instantly amazed at the cake i just made and starting making comments  like “hurry up and finish so i can post it on my Instagram.” Well, when I finished she proceeded to take a picture and post it. After that my family and I all ate the cake together and called it a day. Well apparently after she posted the picture, one of her friends responded to it asking if i would be able to make a cake for her sons birthday, which is today. The thing is my cousin not only didn’t ask me before saying yes, but she also didn’t let me know of this whole situation until 9a.m this morning! The boy’s “party” started at 3 today and I absolutely refused to make the cake after my cousin called me frantic on the phone claiming she forgot to tell me. Well because of this the boy didn’t have a cake for his birthday today and my cousin went around telling the whole family I refused to make a cake for a little boy, making me look like the bad guy.\n\nAITA for not making the cake? ######","completion":" NTA. Who volunteers somebody else’s time without even talking to them? And then your cousin has the nerve to badmouth you about it? The level of entitlement here is insane. Your cousin should have realized she messed up not asking you before, and went and bought a cake to fix her own mess. ######"}
{"prompt":"&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Who the hell turns their nose up at a 40k ring? Shit. If anything she should have protested that he spent that much! \n\nYou just saved him some heartache. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad’s friend, “Carla,” recently lost her appartement due to the virus. We had a spare bedroom so my dad asked me (16m) and his girlfriend if Carla could move in and we both said sure. No one had any symptoms but just in case we disinfected the whole house before and after she moved in and she took a shower as soon as she walked in.\n\nAt first Carla was really polite and she even bought us gifts for allowing her to stay with us, but after a few days she got kinda pushy. At 10 she would try and tell me to go to bed, even though I don’t have a bed time I just need to be in my room relaxing by 11. Every so often she would barge into my room and demand that I clean it. I admit that my room isn’t the cleanest but most of the mess is just art supplies because I work better in (reasonable) chaos and eventually I do clean up. She also kept demanding that I shower everyday when I’ve explained to her that I can’t do more then every other day because I have dry and sensitive skin and every soap I’ve tried irritates my skin, even the ones marketed to sensitive skin, but she refuses to listen. I’m not a confrontational person so I was just being passive aggressive with her and hoping she would pick up on it. She didn’t.\n\nThe thing that made me snap though was when she started calling herself my mother figure. My mom hasn’t always been in the picture (she got involved with drugs) but she’s been trying. Yesterday Carla said she considered herself to be my mom and wanted to treat me like her son, despite only knowing me for a few weeks, when I told her I have a mom she laughed and said I shouldn’t count on her. I don’t remember exactly what I said because I was so angry but I remember calling her a bitch and telling her to fuck off.\n\nMy dad scolded me for cussing at a person and says I should’ve talked to her about it before blowing up and that I owe her an apology but I don’t think I need to. I’ll accept my judgement though and apologize if I’m in the wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. Who tf does Carla think she is? ######"}
{"prompt":"This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.\n\nwork ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.\n\nI get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.\n\nNext day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.\n\nHe ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.\n\nI really don't think I did anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. Who steals from someone doing them a favor? Assholes, that's who. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is another of those super low stakes situations that we both find hilarious but also feel so correct on.\n\nSeveral years ago (yes years), I was toasting myself a bagel. I asked my wife in the other room if she would like one and she said yes. So I made two. I asked her what she would like on her bagel. She said jam. I put jam on her bagel and brought it. She thought it was disgusting.\n\nThe important caveat is that it was an \"everything\" bagel (with seeds and such). This was the only type of bagel we had at the time. She feels that I should have questioned her choice of jam topping. I feel that if the bagel type was required information to decide her topping then she should have asked. At the time it wasn't a thought out malicious compliance, I just wasn't second guessing her... but given the chance I would totally do it again maliciously.\n\nThis is affectionately referred to as \"the bagel incident\" ######","completion":" NTA. Who knew? I like jam on an everything bagel haha, so frankly my mind is being opened as we speak.\n\nEdit: how on earth did this comment get so many upvotes haha ######"}
{"prompt":"My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ######","completion":" NTA. Who is supposed to watch the extra kids while MIL is visiting the hospital? Unless the answer is your husband than the other kids can visit another time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and a friend rent an apartment together. Her mom recently just came to stay for a little bit because her water is off in her house. Recently I found out that her mom has been using my things.\n\nFor example: My spray on deodorant, toothpaste, bodywash, shampoo, towels, loofah, etc.\n It grossed me out because I don't know this woman very well and I'm not comfortable with the idea of her using my things. I wasnt trying to start any conflict, so I kindly asked my roommate to buy her mom some of her own stuff to use.\n\nHer response was that since I let her use my stuff sometimes, I should let her mom as well. Plus apparently her mom likes my stuff better since it's more expensive. We went back and forth for a bit until she finally gave in and said she'd tell her mom to stop.\n\nThe final straw came when I went into the bathroom yesterday morning and her mom was using my curling iron. After that, I moved all the stuff I paid for into my room. My roommate confronted me, saying her mom was upset because none of the stuff she used was there anymore. I told her until her mom can  buy her own stuff to use, I wont be putting any of mine back in the bathroom. We havent talked since.\n\nWas I being too rash with my decision? Or selfish? ######","completion":" NTA. Who in their right mind uses someone else's towel and loofah?! 🤢 ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my husband are trying for a baby right now and his parents know about it. They told my sister in law I guess, we don’t have a bad relationship even tho we live far away, we still talk. She called me and brought up the baby topic, asked me if we were really trying and I told her yes. She asked “why now? There’s a huge pandemic going on and it’s kinda selfish bringing baby into all of this mess”, I told her that we have been trying for months already. She sarcastically asked why couldn’t we wait for a year or two and why was having a baby right now so fucking important. I just told her to kind her own business and hung up. \n\nOf course 2 days later there’s a post on her Facebook about “selfish people not caring about anything other than their stupid wants and needs.” She told her parents about it too and they’re telling me that I was a bit too harsh and I need to apologize. ######","completion":" NTA. Who does she think she is to tell you when you can have YOUR baby? Smh some people. ######"}
{"prompt":"my partner when they were younger had issues with some older men saying they hoped they shaved their genitals. My partner mentioned something today about how bare female genitals make them uncomfy and said anyone who wants to be with someone who shaves is a creep. I asked what purpose pubic hair served, cause I honestly didnt know, guess its hygenic or somethin' cool. My partner then began to say people shouldnt shave, and it was weird if they did. I argued that if someone wants to do something to themselves like shave they can, its the individuals choice.\n\nThis was a bad thing to say. I was being accused of supporting something very gross and accused of being one. I denied and tried to clarify that i simply supported ones choice over their own hair situation and nothing beyond that. This went back and forth for a good while. And my partner asked if i would prefer if they shaved, to which i responded \"I dont care, its your choice.\"\n\nAgain the wrong move. I am now disgusting and dont love my partner. They asked why i didnt stand with them on this, i told them it was because theyre advovating for social norms to be that we tell people to NOT shave instead of letting them make their own choice. As of this moment in time thats where we stand.\n\nAITA for not siding with my partner, even though I disagree with what theyre saying? ######","completion":" NTA. While I understand your partners troubles you are not obligated to stand with them. Also I agree that wether you shave or not isn’t anyone’s business but your own. Of course people can have preferences but it remains your choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I imagine this is going to be a bit of an ESH, but here's the context:\n\nI have a nonbinary coworker, I'll call Ash, who unfortunately had their deadname printed on our weekly schedule for the first few weeks of their employment. They made it very clear to everyone they don't like to be referred to by it, and go by they\/them pronouns. I myself am trans (though not entirely out at work), so I'm pretty sensitive to people using the wrong name\/pronouns for someone.\n\nAnother coworker (Jessica) thought it was a great joke to annoy Ash by referring to them as their deadname and the wrong pronouns. Ash, as well as some others, had asked her to stop multiple times, she didn't. I got fed up, and started referring to Jessica as he\/him and by the wrong name. She was visibly annoyed whenever I did it, but nothing ever came of it and she has since been fired for unrelated reasons.\n\nThining back on it, I do feel kinda shitty about it as one of my positions is that a person doesn't need to *earn* the right to be referred to by the correct name\/pronoun, and I feel like I compromised my ethics on this. ######","completion":" NTA. While I get why you feel guilty about it, it was done to prove a point. And sometimes things like this are the only thing bigots understand. Good for you for standing up! ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister been addicted to drugs for about 3 years now, she’s addicted to Heroin and Fentanyl and just start using something called Purple down.\n\nShe has down a lot of awful things to get her fixed, like steal money from her family and sell her body, she claims now that she got everything under control which I don’t really believe. \n\nRecently I found out that her soon to be husband doesn’t know that she’s an addict, My sister was acting odd when I brought up the monthly cost of it, she nervously laughed and said “you’re such a weirdo talking about that, are you into drugs now” so when her husband left I asked about it and she confessed that he doesn’t know I got super angry at her and told her she needs to tell him especially when you guys are trying for a baby and she said “I got everything under control so he doesn’t need to know” I got so upset that I left because I knew I couldn’t have at productive conversation at that time \n\nA week later, I called my sister and tried to convince her that she should tell her fiancé about her drug problem and she said “I can’t do that, I will get off them soon” and when I asked her if she was gonna go to rehab she said “no” I then asked if she not going to rehab then how will you get off them and she claimed she was gonna do it by herself \n\nNow I heard her claim she was gonna get off the drugs by herself for 2 years now so at this point I was frustrated and decided to call her fiancé and tell him, he was super upset and hurt that she didn’t tell him sooner but my sister was super Angry at me and threatened to disown me and never let me see my future nieces and nephews\n\nAITA for telling my sister Fiancé ######","completion":" NTA. While I dont think rehab is always the solution for addiction, if your sister has been telling you she will quit on her own for this long, it's time for her to face facts and get some help. If her fiance has been blind to her addiction for this long, you did the right thing telling him. It wouldn't be right to let her string him along like that. She may be angry now, but you have to remember that it's not her, it's the addiction. ######"}
{"prompt":"We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.\n\nOne of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him. \n\nThen in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.\n\nI told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.\n\nAITA reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. Whether you agree with the protests or not it's extremely inappropriate to join a meeting in the middle of one. ######"}
{"prompt":"A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.\n\nI was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.\n\nI explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.\n\nI was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######","completion":" NTA. Whether or not a 7-year old should have three piercings in each ear isn’t really the issue here. Your wife made a parenting decision, and communicated that decision to a child (thus raising her hopes for her birthday fun) without consulting you first for discussion. So you get no say, and then have to be the bad guy. Lose-lose on your end and a bit messed up. Change up the conversation with your wife to focus on the fact that you weren’t consulted on your child’s birthday wishes, and that you should be making decisions regarding your child’s body together. That’s the crux of the issue here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So two weeks ago, my husband asked my opinion on cosigning a loan for his sister. I told him that honestly, I didn't like the idea at all and to please not do it, for consideration of our financial future. \nHis sister had her last car impounded twice for whatever reasons. The prior one to that, she wrecked and was then sued by the finance company for the remainder of the note. She's constantly asking him for money, all the while she has yet to ever pay him back.\nShe called last week and told me that he had, in fact, cosigned for her. Not only that, but it was a new enough car, she would be getting some sort of rebate check that one of us needed to take to her. I told her if she wanted it, that she was apparently free to drive herself to our house to get it. \nI then confronted my husband and asked why he did ask my opinion if it didn't matter. His response was to tell me that he thought I would be okay with it, and when I wasn't, he thought I would get over it. AITA for being upset that he completely disregarded how I felt about this whole thing? ######","completion":" NTA. When you’re married financial decisions should be made together. He asked your opinion and you gave it, then he co-signed the loan anyway, knowing that she has a poor payment history. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this I'm 23 (m) and she's 20 (f), I quit smoking cigarettes for her when we started dating 2 years ago. That was a deal breaker for her and I respected that and chose her over my vice. Fast forward 2 years and now she's coming into her own and finding herself and wants to \"go wild instead of being responsible\" (her words). She started vaping with nicotine and sneaking alcohol into her parents house and wants to experience all types of drugs and not have restraints or feel obligated to not do stuff because of someone, which is likely me and her parents. We live in Tennessee which has harsh drug laws and I'm staunchly against drug use, which I've made clear. \n\nI told her that her starting vaping upset me because of the stink she made about me smoking and telling me to quit, which I did. I told her about my experiences being addicted to nicotine and how I don't want to see her go through that. She says by all means start smoking again because it wouldn't be fair. However I think she helped me by taking that stand and it really pains me to see her start an addiction (which she admits shes addicted) especially to something that is supposed to help smokers quit. She said sorry, but blew me off. I didn't tell her to quit I just told her how I felt. I've also told her that doing drugs is a deal breaker for me to which she didn't really respond. I've just pretty much told her to do what she wants at this point and whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be the controlling guy or tell her what to do. But deep down I want her to choose me. Am I the asshole in this situation. ######","completion":" NTA. When you’re in a relationship, you’re entitled to expressing your feelings on issues like this. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, so be it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone, I’m a 22 yo girl living in Florida with my parents. I’m the oldest of 3. My parents are very strict asian parents. Lately, my mental health has been slipping from the current events. I find happiness with taking long drives, walking around parks, and being outside in nature. I do so with safety precautions (mask and such). My parents have always made it a rule to announce when and where we are going when we leave the house. Lately, they have been prohibiting me from trying to leave the house. I practically have to fight, scream, and shout to go to a park or drive myself to the grocery store and buy fruits. If I say that I am going anyway, they yell at me, call me names like slut, stupid, bitch. I told them that I wanted to find a job so I can pay my bills and save enough to move out. I’ve sort of rebelled by coming back home in the early mornings for the past few days. They threaten to kick me out for not doing what they want. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t have a job right now(laid off from covid), but I’m trying to look for one just so I can save enough to move out. My mental health is just plummeting. I have been thinking of joining the army in a few months. They also told me not to go. AITA for all of this? ######","completion":" NTA. When you have strict parents, sometimes the *only* way to live your *own* life is to go low\/no contact. \n\nThey’ll only get stricter, since you’re no longer a child that they legally have control over. \n\nThey’re gonna get stricter because they have to convince you, an adult, that their word is law. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically. \n\nToday I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response. \n\nBefor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home. \n\nMy mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child. \n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. When someone asks you for a favor it is on your terms. Why should you pack up your own kid twice to watch her kid while she sits right there?  Doesn't even make sense. ######"}
{"prompt":" ***Happened in October and recently came up in conversation***\n\nI made a reservation at a nice restaurant for my anniversary. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. but the hostess said they were running a little behind. After 20 minutes of waiting, a couple walked in behind us and asked for a table. They didn’t have reservations and the hostess said they were looking at a 45-minute wait. The couple stood behind us discussing options, then five minutes later the hostess said our table was ready. The woman pointed out that she was seven months pregnant and would really appreciate if she could sit before us. I said no because we had a reservation and they did not, then suggested two places across the street that always have seats available. The couple was visibly annoyed and said something under their breath about how rude I was.\n\nHad they made a reservation I would have gladly switched so they could sit a few minutes early, but they were basically asking for our reservation. We were looking at having to wait another 45 minutes.\n\nThere were multiple restaurants in the area so there were options. There was also bar seating available and they could have gotten food there. ######","completion":" NTA. When I was pregnant I wouldn't have asked someone to give up a reservation. I wouldn't have expected special treatment for something like that... I don't think I even made a big deal about needing a seat in crowded places. ######"}
{"prompt":"So to start with, me (20F) and a guy (19M) we'll call him kai, have been dating for a few weeks, but friends for well over a year. Not a full relationship but definitely on the path. For context I've always interpreted the saying \"dont threaten me with a good time\" as a sarcastic way of saying \"that wouldn't be so bad\". It isnt only sexual, it can be used in a sarcastic way. If I'm wrong please correct me. So me and kai were on the phone (quarentine and all), and I was referencing a conversation from earlier. I'll paraphrase said conversation, it was with my mum and dad.\n\nMUM - *makes sex joke*\n\nME- ewww \n\nDAD - well if me and *mum* didnt have sex you wouldnt be here\n\nME - dont threaten me with a good time (joking that I didnt exist it would be brill) \n\nKai then proceeds to say that I made a sexual advance on my dad? When I say that's disgusting and explain my understanding of the saying, nd that it was in no way sexual, he hangs up and now isnt talking to me. I dont know if I over reacted by being disgusted, or if my understanding of the saying is wrong. Am I the asshole for being angry at his understanding? Is he the asshole for still hanging up after I explained what I mean? :( ######","completion":" NTA. When I read this, I laughed because I knew you were saying that \"Don't threaten me with not being on this earth because I'd gladly take it!\". Comedy gold. I can understand the shock value, and him wanting clarification, but after explaining your interpretation and he still hangs up, is a bit childish. You're obviously not making a sexual advance on your father. ######"}
{"prompt":"So yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday and we had a small lunch celebration with his family. My boyfriend doesn't like chocolate cake while his family and I love it. He likes ube cake, which no one else in his family likes. So I decided to bake two cakes, a larger 10 inch chocolate cake for me and his family and a smaller 6 inch ube cake since he's the only one who's going to eat it. \n\nHe didn't say anything when his family was there but after they left he told me that he felt like I cared more about his family than making him feel special on his birthday because the main cake was something that they liked and not what he liked. He also said that for his birthday it wouldn't have hurt for all of us to eat ube cake since we know that it's what he likes instead of making him feel like the odd one out. \n\nI was just trying to please everyone since I knew that his family doesn't like ube cake and they like chocolate cake instead. And I think it was a good compromise to have a smaller lemon cake for him so he can still enjoy the cake he likes while the rest of us eat the cake we like. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. When I read the title, I thought you ONLY made a cake he wouldn’t like. But you didn’t—you went to the extra effort of making a dessert you knew he liked, and another that you knew others would enjoy as well. I would never expect people to eat food they expressly disliked on my birthday, it’s honestly pretty immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.\n\nSo here's the story.\n\nMy brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.\n\nWe ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.\n\nWhen the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.\n\nAfter that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.\n\nLiterally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.\n\nThis time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.\n\nMy mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.\n\nBut apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.\n\nTldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ######","completion":" NTA. What. The. Fuck.\n\nThey're assholes for sending their kids to head-lice place.\n\nThey're assholes for making someone else clean up.\n\nThey're assholes for thinking you're an asshole for not cleaning up for them.\n\nThey're mega assholes for sending their kids to head-lice place more than once.\n\nGod this is making me angry. Who sends their kids to a place they know has head lice? ######"}
{"prompt":"My nearly 12yo daughter has developed an interest all things beauty related. She is constantly going on about changing her hair colour, getting her nails done, makeup and even piercings.\n\nAt first I was accommodating to her wanting to experiment with her appearance. I allowed her to get blonde highlights done, bought her nail polish and also took her to get her ears pierced on a few occasions. She now has 4 holes on each lobe and any further will be cartilage.\n\n Unfortunately it seems that whatever I allow is never enough. My daughter constantly nags to dye her hair bright colours and wants even more piercings. Not just on her ears but also nose. I have reached my limits and am now saying no. The main reason is that I feel like I am being taken for a ride but also I heard that one of the other parent's at my daughter's school make a comment about my daughter being a bad influence and should put my foot down.\n\nUnfortunately saying no has resulted in tantrums and constant nagging. It got so bad that I actually took away her makeup, nail polish and told her no more piercings until she is 18. \n\nAm I being unreasonable here? Part of me thinks is justified but my daughter seems to think I am a total ass hole for this. ######","completion":" NTA. What you’re doing is parenting and it is your job not to give in to all your daughter’s demands, particularly when they permanently affect her body. You’ve already allowed her to get away with a lot (as is your right) but now you’ve given her a boundary, you need to stick to it.\n\nAnd who knows, when she is 18 or older, she may regret what she did at 12. You are (IMO) correct to stop her from having more piercings etc right now.\n\nEdited: clarification ######"}
{"prompt":"For the first time in ages (because of corona) me and my girlfriend went to a VERY nice fancy restaurant. This is important because normally I woudn’t make a fuss but since the food was so nice and very expensive i made an exception. \n\nWe go to the restaurant (she is driving). When get there they are about to close, they say we can’t dine, but we can take food away. We order similarly 1 starter, 1 main each. We split the bill 50\/50.\n\nWe take the food to the car and while she is leaving the car park i check they got our order right. Her starter and main are there. But only my starter is their and my main is missing. I tell her they got the order wrong, while checking to see if they charged for us for the missing main: they did. \n\nI ask her to go back and get my main. Keep in mind we are 1 min drive away from restaurant. Yet she said she can’t be bothered and i should deal with it. We argued for about a minute and then i said ‘ ok but then i get half your main’. She said no and i gave up.\n\nThen when we got home she went for a shower. So i eat my starter and half her main. When she found out she got annoyed and told me to leave her house.  I said ok fine, it is late anyway.\n\nNext morning she text ‘how am i going to make it up to her’.\n\nSo aita and should i have to make it up to her? ######","completion":" NTA. What the hell, she just wanted you to not have dinner because she couldn't be bothered to turn around? And now she's mad at YOU? Is this a major anomaly or is she always this awful and selfish? ######"}
{"prompt":"30 years ago my grandfather dug a well. It supplies our home and has a pump to supply water to a mini water tower thing to give our homes water pressure.\n\nAnother person built a house nearby and there was an agreement for them to plumb into our fresh water supply for limited domestic use: Cooking, cleaning, toilets etc. This agreement has stood for 10 years without any problems.\n\nSo what's been going wrong? \n\nThe house next door was sold.\n\nIt's now starting to get hot. So the next door neighbour has been filling a swimming pool. I don't see a problem with this. What I do see a problem is they fill the pool and drain it EVERY SINGLE DAY.\n\nBased on my calculations they're wasting close to 400,000 litres of water every single day. \n\nWhen I told them they can't waste water like this. They told me to f*** myself because the water is free and nobody owns it.\n\nSo I gave them a warning showing that the water supply belonged to us and it wasn't free at all. I was told to f*** off again. I watched as they filled their pool again AND drained it again. \n\nI simply turned off their turned off the valve supplying their home which is on our land. They now have no water whatsoever as they tried to fill their pool again this morning.\n\nThey're now complaining and whining about not having any water. I told them they can get a tanker to come and fill their pool and supply them.\n\nAITA about this? ######","completion":" NTA. What the heck is the point of filling and emptying the pool? Is this some pool maintenance strategy I’m not aware of? ######"}
{"prompt":"My (34f) husband (33m) has terrible allergies. This time of year his nose is always running. This is not his fault. However, what he uses to blow his nose blows -my- mind. Bathroom and hand towels (his and mine), kitchen towels, shirts, my sweaters, socks (both clean and used)- anything. And on top of this, he leaves whatever he’s been using laying around because he might need it again later. \nAfter a few nasty surprises and a few instances of having nothing to dry my hands with in the kitchen, I bought him a big pack of handkerchiefs from Amazon, and a big pack of new dish towels. I asked him if he could please just use the new handkerchiefs and the -old- dish towels and spare the other household fabrics, and put the designated nose-blowers in their own spot. \nHe snapped “You know you can wash all of this stuff right??” and implied I’m being judgy and making him feel bad just because he has allergies. This feels crazy to me but.... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What the fuck? Seriously? Wipe your nose in a hanky or a tissue and literally nothing else why did you even need to ask this question? Your husband is disgusting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, because SIL knows my main account.\n\n\nMy (36F) SIL (32F)  is an extremely unlikable person.\nShe often takes advantage of her disability and eating disorders. As in, if you were arguing with her, she would pull that card on you. Or if she was being extremely rude and mean to you, she'd end the conversation with, \"I'm disabled and anorexic, you can't be mean to me.\" Her disability has always been shrouded by her, even if you asked her what it was she'd change the topic.\nAlso, this will be relevant while you are reading this: I had a miscarriage a week ago, and my belly is still quite swollen.\n\nThis has caused me to stop attending any of my husband's family functions, because my SIL, who we'll call Dani, would always be there, and also resulted in me avoiding her everywhere. \n\nBut yesterday my husband forced me to partake in a video call with his entire family, including his extended relatives, and his direct family (Dani, my FIL, and my MIL)\n\nDani was being a bit quiet during the conversation, so I asked her what was wrong and she replied with \"you're bloody nosy, no wonder the baby died, it wouldn't have wanted a mother like you.\"\n\nI was really shocked and sad, and I revealed something that I'm now deeply ashamed of: the fact that Dani cheated on her husband with her 'friend' while she and her now husband were still dating.\nHer husband was on the call, and she promptly disconnected.\n\nNow her entire family knows that she was a cheater, and I was feeling really bad, because Dani and her husband apparently got into a huge fight, and are now seperated.\nMy husband told me that it was a low belt blow, and I should have calmed down, and that she's anorexic and disabled and was having one of her episode where she feels extremely bad.\n\nThis has now made me feel kinda bad. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What she said, only a week after your miscarriage, is inexcusable. Also, it’s not b\/c she’s anorexic or disabled, it’s because she’s a crap person. If her husband separated from her b\/c she cheated, that’s on her for cheating.\n\nAlso, what’s up with your husband defending HER after what she said to you (and knowing she betrayed his brother)? ######"}
{"prompt":"First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.\n\nI am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.\n\nShe told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.\n\nShe whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from \"eating dry toast this morning\" and a headache \"for eating chocolate\"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.\n\nI know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.\n\nReddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA. What she is doing is dangerous. If she was any simpler, she would be sold in the produce section. ######"}
{"prompt":"I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.\n\nShe didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does. \n\nAbout 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)\n\nSo. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues. \n\nBut now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do. \n\nI don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole  or if she is. Help! ######","completion":" NTA. What she did was pretty shitty. A day before the wedding like seriously?! \nI suggest you dont call her at all for your own sanity. She didnt hesitate then why are you hesitating. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!\n\nI (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure. \n\nUnbeknownst to me, my friend said \"yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people\". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can \"trust\" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.\n\nSo they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What kind of jackass thinks he can just invite strangers to a friends house? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ######","completion":" NTA. What kind of a person threatens to shake an infant? Your family are the AH for tolerating that and saying it was just a joke.\n\nYou are doing the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.\n\nI'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted. \n\nWe've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here. \n\nBob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being \"insubordinate\" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.\n\nHonestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What happened to land land of the free and freedom of expression. You fly your flag ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the middle of three. I have a younger sister (25) and an older brother (30). I'm 27. My parents, over the years, saved up 30k to be split between my sister and I for when we eventually got married, which would be 15k each. \n\nMy sister got engaged before me, and they planned their wedding for April 2020. As you can imagine, this couldn't happen. They'd picked an all inclusive venue and spent the entire 15k. Unfortunately, their venue has been horrible, denied any refund. Wedding insurance doesn't cover pandemics and they're now going under anyway. The 15k is just...gone. \n\nMy sister now wants to elope, which my parents and other family are absolutely horrified by. She and her fiance say they can't afford to pay for a wedding themselves because of their job situations. The only thing she has from the first wedding that she could take to a second is her wedding dress, which would still need to be altered.  \n\nThe women in the family have been crying about it in every conversation I've had with them and begging my sister to not elope, they'll figure it out. My parents now want to take the other 15k and give my sister another wedding, obviously at a different venue.\n\nIt ended up being a huge fight of accusing me of blaming my sister for causing the pandemic, wanting her to elope and not get \"her wedding\" because I'm jealous, and why save it when I'm still single and will be for years now anyway. I'm 27! I'm not an old maid. I'm not jealous of my sister, I was happy for her before all this, but it would have been nice to know that when I got married, my parents could help me out too. I'm not saying it's her fault that the first one didn't happen, but factually she would be getting two weddings paid for and I'll be getting zero. \n\nIt's probably happening regardless of what I say, but am I wrong to be a little angry about it? ######","completion":" NTA. What happened sucks, but no, you aren’t wrong for being upset about it. Being told that you have $15k waiting for your wedding and then having it taken away would upset most people. ######"}
{"prompt":" I had two sons from my first marriage that are now teenagers. I’m remarried and 6 months ago we had a baby girl. This baby is my wife’s first. I totally get what it’s like to be a worried first time parent and it’s not like I’m not worried about certain things, but with others, it’s my third time around. I’ve been there. When the baby projectile vomits, I’m not gonna panic. I don’t judge her for being so, but I think it bothers her that I’m not and she worries that I’m not going to do things right.\n\nWhen the baby was born, she kept reminding me to support the head. I told her I know, don’t worry, she’s okay. Then as she got older, she kept rattling off facts about temperatures for bath water, how to put her to bed, etc. I was really being as patient as possible and listening.\n\nWhen all this stuff with the world started going on, things got a bit worse. Things came to a head yesterday when I was trying to feed the baby and she was trying to tell me how to make a bottle. I gently turned to her and said “I know why you’re panicked, but I’ve done all this before, I know what I’m doing.” She for really upset and said that I was trying to say I was better at this and undermining her fears, which I’m not. I’m just saying I have parented before,so I know what to do. She then said it was wrong for me to say that because I shouldn’t remind her of my past like that and I should be supportive. Things have been strained since.\n\nWas I wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA. What does she mean you shouldn’t “remind her of your past”? You have two other kids. You’re a grown up. You had a life before her and that’s a fact she has to accept. It sounds like she’s insecure about her own parenting skills and projecting onto you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run\/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.\n\nThis woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.\n\nSo, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, \"Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?\" To which I replied, \"Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high.\" She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm. \n\nI came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What did she expect? Her goal was to make you feel like crap. You don't have to accept that. Good for you. Mayne she'll think twice in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates  boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.  \n\nLater, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '\n\nShe got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.\nI just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .\nI told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What business has your roommate's boyfriend looking into pots that aren't his? If he can't handle seeing a clean piece of silicone swimming in boiling water, then he shouldn't snoop. ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.\n \nEventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. What are you supposed to do if you get an alert at 3 AM?\n\nNo, the missing person is not in my bedroom. I don't intend to get dressed, get into my car, and drive around aimlessly. Thank you for waking me for no purpose whatsoever. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away. \n\nShe says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.\n\nBut the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business. \n\nWould we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######","completion":" NTA. What an extremely bizarre request. Why doesn't she move HER room or bed? Or invest in some sound dampening stuff for the wall? Or get a white noise machine? She has a lot of nerve trying to tell you where to sleep and bang in your own apartment. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.\n\nI (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me. \n\nShe noticed me look back her at her and she asked \"What's your name?\"\n\nI was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked \"Why?\"\n\nShe started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.\n\nInstead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being. \n\nMeanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.\n\nSo AITA? Was I being rude? ######","completion":" NTA. What a strange encounter! You are definitely not obligated to tell any stranger your name. No is a complete sentence. The only person acting contrary to typical social decorum was HER. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.\n\nThey kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.\n\nI have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. Weird thing for someone to make fun of and also not okay of them. The best part of having friends is we get to choose who are friends are and it sounds like they’re not much of one. Surround yourself with people who care about you, don’t waste time on those who don’t ######"}
{"prompt":"Me - (29M) my wife - Laura (26F) old friend - Shawn (31M)\n\nSo my wife and I actually got married in December 2016 so this situation is really fucking bizarre.\n\nAn old friend of mine recently got in touch with me after we lost contact many years ago and he saw that I’m married. I didn’t tell him this because we weren’t talking at the time and he got really offended that he wasn’t invited to my wedding.\n\nI told him that there wasn’t a wedding. My wife and I were only engaged for 6 months and took our daughter who was 6 months old at that time and eloped. The only people there were us; our kid and our witnesses were the registry office people. We literally got married on our own terms as we didn’t want a huge reception.\n\nShawn has used the argument that we used to be really close and that I’m an AH for not considering him as a witness even though joke of my family or friends or Laura’s were there. He also said were assholes for just eloping meaning our marriage must be shit. He then brought my now 3 year old daughter into this and I swiftly blocked him. \n\nI’ve recently brought up this bizarre exchange with my mom and she thinks that Laura and I should have had a proper wedding instead of the registry office reception with our daughter that we wanted. A few others have agreed with her but Laura says they’re idiots for dictating what they think a “real wedding” is and her family and our friends are on our side.\n\nWho’s the AH here? ######","completion":" NTA. Weddings are fun and great and I love going to them but they are not about me or anyone who is not one of the people actually getting married! This is your life! You're allowed to do whatever the hell you want! You wanted a quiet and sudden courthouse wedding, you got one. Done and done. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16M) and my brother (12M) live with joint custody between my mom (51F) and dad (53M). \n\nMy brother used to have a friend (we’ll call him A) in elementary school. They were never super close and I have never liked A because he is really whiny and spoiled because his parents are very rich. A has a college age brother named N but we never really talk because we don’t have a lot to talk about and he is not home a ton. \n\nA year or two ago my brother stopped hanging out with A because of aforementioned reasons. By this time the dad of A (AD) and my dad had become friends. My brother never formally broke off his friendship with A in the interest of maintaining good will. \n\nUnfortunately, A can’t take a hint. My brother has refused to hang out countless times but A still thinks they are on good terms. \n\nBetween this and my dads friendship with AD we go over there sometimes \n\nI do not enjoy being with A’s family because I don’t have any friends over there &amp; A acts bratty and spoiled a lot. My brother does not enjoy it either. \n\nAD and my dad have talked about going camping this summer a lot but when I asked my dad he had always dismissed it as speculation. My dad knows very well that me and my brother do not want to go camping with A. We told him many times over the months but he has not listened. \n\nTonight my dad told us that he KNEW that we didn’t want to go camping with A’s family but we are going anyway for 4 days. Me and my brother put our feet down between disdain for A and concern for getting COVID (my dad has not been taking COVID-19 as seriously as we would like). \n\nThis is not something me and my brother have ever done so adamantly before and we are very serious about it. \n\nMy dad passive aggressively uninvited us and called us spoiled, bratty, and disrespectful. I think the real issue here is how he ignored our wishes for months and essentially chose AD over us. \n\nSo AITA for not just going or was it the right thing to tell our dad no? ######","completion":" Nta. We’re supposed to be social distancing and even if we didn’t have to, why should you have to go camping with people that you don’t like? ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is a single mom, and is also unemployed. She has a 1 month old and just before she gave birth she asked to move in with me because she couldn’t pay her rent anymore and her landlord wasn’t going to let her renew her lease. Now I don’t really like my sister, she’s always gotten preferential treatment by our parents, she had her college tuition paid by them, I had to get a loan, they paid her rent until she was 25, I got a job like a normal human being. Now my mother can’t let her move in because when our dad died she moved into one of those assisted living places. She doesn’t need assistance but it’s kind of like a college dorm for old people I guess. But I’m not a monster so I said okay and let her move in, can’t have a newborn living on the street.\n\nBut holy hell its so annoying. All he does is cry all day. I’m trying to work in my office and I just hear him crying away. And then whenever I leave to use the bathroom she’s breastfeeding on the sofa. I’m sick of it. I’d kick her out today if she didn’t have a kid.\n\nI told her yesterday to go upstairs when he cries or she’s going to feed him. I don’t want to see her breastfeeding, and I don’t want to hear crying all day. She got mad and said she doesn’t want to lock herself in her bedroom all day, and I reminded her that she’s living in my house rent free. But then today when I called my mom for Mother’s Day she told me off for making her stay upstairs, saying I can’t lock my sister in her room. Apparently my sister complained to her.\n\nAITA?\n\nEdit: I know what newborns do, but that doesn’t mean she has to do it in the main rooms all the time. I didn’t really have a choice letting her move in. ######","completion":" NTA. We pay taxes so that people like your sister have access to women’s shelters. It’s not “my house or she’ll starve on the street” if you live in any country with a social welfare system. She needs to apply for welfare benefits and social housing because this situation is unsustainable and you think you’re helping but you’re not, you’re enabling her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.\n\nI (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago. \n\nMy mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was a very good man. I won't bore you with the details, but between an evil ex wife and estranged children due to ex wife, he deserved more. \n\nMy bf(30 m) has been trying to be kind and supportive-- he even brought me home all my favourite food.\n\nI had gone through facebook seeing if I could find more info on my uncle's death and only came up on my dad's Facebook. My dad died suddenly at 65 back in 2016. I loved him dearly but I hadn't seen him in 3 years as we live in different provinces... So I have a lot of guilt there. My very beloved aunt also died the night of my dad's funeral.it was a long and sad battle with cancer and I was worried she would pass away while I was burying my dad. And she did... I out while I was writing my dad's eulogy... and .It. Broke. My. Heart.\n\nSo this evening while i got teary-eyed and upset about my uncle, I said ' first my dad, then my aunt, now my uncle' to remark on the pain that their deaths caused. Other family members have died, but these ones greatly impacted me.\n\nAfter saying that, my boyfriend says \" ya. that's life\" a little dismissively. \n\nI snapped and said \" uhhh, fucking thank you? I know that's life? But it doesnt make it any less sad\".\n\nNeedless to say I got pretty short with him and told him he was being insensitive. He told me I snapped at him and he just wont say anything and will stop talking. \n\nNow I'm grieving AND have this arguement on my hands.\n\nAITA?\n\nI should also note-- my bf is normally extremely kind and sweet. He's a very empathetic person. Which is why I'm wondering if IATA or if he kind of sucks for this right now. ######","completion":" NTA. We all handle grief in different ways. He was out of line for dismissing your feelings. Grieve however you need to and for some, the grief never ends; it just gets easier to process. Look up grief button on google and it details really well how grief affects us as an ongoing thing. You’ve had 3 people who you were close to pass on fairly close together. I do think however, it may be worth it to try and talk to your boyfriend about how his statement came off and hurt.\n\nEdit: here’s the  [grief button](https:\/\/www.mamamia.com.au\/ball-in-the-box-grief\/) ######"}
{"prompt":"So I created a throwaway cause Ill be reveling some facts that would me easy to dox if I used my normal reddit account.\n\nIm a Civilian and I work for the US Army in Korea. Recently due to COVID19 I was put under what they call a Public Health Emergency which has placed restrictions on what Im allowed to do. One of those restrictions is Im not allowed to go to any bars. If I do so and get caught I get banned from all US Military bases which translates into me getting fired.\n\nIn addition to that the US Military has undercover military police patroling popular areas looking for violators and people are losing their careers over this. To add to this my job involves me working with the military police so Im confident if I broke the rules and someone saw me id be reported.\n\nMy girlfriend of 2 yrs is a Korean citizen and also she lives with me. The rules do not apply to her.\n\nShe went out drinking with her girlfriends. She got drunk and told me I needed to come pick her up from the bar. She was in a popular area and its very likely undercover police were watching the bar she was at. I didnt think it was a good idea to risk my career to get her. I told her to take a taxi.\n\nApparently im the asshole for refusing to pick her up. What do you think?\n\nO she wasnt stranded. She ended up getting a taxi home just fine. ######","completion":" NTA. Was she aware about this rule for you? Either way, the taxi seemed to have gotten her home just fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much. \n\nHowever, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?. \n\nI‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused. \n\nIt caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this. \n\nAITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######","completion":" NTA. Was fully prepared to call you an asshole but your reason for cancelling is that your cousin is being a biphobic asshole. She invited you with a guest and offered to pay for your flight, then revoked your guest because it was too gay for her. No reason you should pay for the privilege of not attending her wedding because she's decided to be a giant asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Wait, they grounded you and took your car? Um, no, if the car is in your name they can not take that away from you. Do you have a friend you can stay with to get away from them? Your mother sounds like an absolute asshole though, yelling at you in a store for something that is none of her business. ######"}
{"prompt":"Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.\n\nJudging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######","completion":" NTA. wait until you're ready. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives\/friends houses too.  He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.\n\n***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######","completion":" NTA. Volunteering someone *else's* time and effort isn't a call anyone but the person themselves should be making so casually. If he was so set on getting the house cleaned for his son's birthday, he should've offered himself or *asked* and gone from there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to keep this as concise as possible. \n\nMy wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.\n\nI cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.\n\nMore recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######","completion":" NTA. Versions of this scenario are posted here all the time from both sides; judgement is still the same, she’s an adult, she can either get food for herself or eat what the person who is cooking for the house is making. You aren’t obligated to cook something you don’t want just to appease her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second. \n\nSo me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.\n\nNow fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude? \n\nLike I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######","completion":" NTA. Usually when this topic comes up it's someone wanting their partner to get rid of a preexisting pet to accommodate them. But it sounds like you were planning to move in together prior to him accepting this dog, in which case he definitely should be consulting you and have it be a joint decision. You didn't agree to have a dog when you decided to move in together, it's not fair of him to just expect you to go along with this especially if you'll be the one expected to care for it most of the time. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.\n\nThis morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore. \n\nHe BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it. \n\nNow we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it. \n\nSo internet people, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Urinating in food containers was a thing you expressed to be gross, then he mixed the tupperware containers up so you have to perpetually wonder which one's the pisserware? Yikes.\n\nCan he hold his bladder to get to the cold, far-away bathroom, does he have a medical issue or is he a sloth? Good god, what else is he pissing in. What else. Set it all on fire.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the awards and upvotes! ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom made the decision on her own to allow my aunt (her sister) and my cousin to move in with us after she lost her job, her home, and essentially became homeless. She never mentioned it to me and I'm not heartless.. I understand what's going on, but they have been here for two weeks now and I cannot stand it.\n\nThe reasons I am losing my mind is because my aunt doesn't do anything but drink and watch tv in the living room all day, where they sleep, and my cousin who is 29 is literally a couch potato. He has never held a job in his life and has no plans too, on top of that his hygiene is fucking terrible. He refuses to take a shower and it's fucking gross. He wakes up at 7AM and immediately gets on his laptop until 11PM, no joke. While this occurs he demands my aunt to wait on him. He's useless. I almost throw up in my own home because he stinks so bad. My mom ignores this all by locking herself in her room and it's fucked up because it's not just us four. My boyfriend, my brother, his girlfriend, and their baby live here too. \n\nIn conclusion we’re all fucking sick of it, but my mom doesn't want to kick her out because it's her sister but I think sometimes even though shit hurts it has to be done. AITA?\n\nTL;DR living in an uncomfortable situation with aunt and cousin, we’re sick of it but nothing’s being done. ######","completion":" NTA. Unplug the internet until he has a shower..If he doesn't like it then simply change the password until he does start to like it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.\n\nWhen I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.\n\n15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.\n\nI snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson” \n\nAITA ######","completion":" Nta. Unless you work with your father and you’re 15, this person has no business trying to teach you a lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's.\n\n2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help.\n\nNope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest. \n\nSo I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as \"Sister\". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol)\n\nWell I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch.\n\nWell after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for \"Not helping her sister\" and \"Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined.\" \n\nI was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside.\n\nNow I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######","completion":" NTA. Unless you were ankle deep in snow she wasn't freezing any time soon. You did a wonderful thing by getting up and helping her by getting her sister there and making sure she was not actually hit by a car or anything. The sister was awful, I would have been so grateful and apologetic if I was in her shoes. You did good, her being a puking mess isn't your responsibility - keeping her alive and getting help is as a fellow human being. That's what you did and that's fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters, he uses my car because his is wrecked (not a car accident, he didn't do repairs when needed and eventually everything started failing). I only have my temps because of the lockdown, and I'm giving it another week or so until the lines are short enough for me to be willing to take the driving test. Since I cant drive as much as him, I've been letting him drive mine. Before his car ultimately died, I helped him clean it out. It was like a goddamn hoarder's house it was so disgusting. Moldy food in fast food bags, dozens if not a hundred half empty bottles of drinks, and god knows what embedded in the seat fabric. I had completely vacuumed and deep cleaned every inch of my car when I bought it (2004 grandpa-mobile so it was in need of a good clean, and I treat it like my child because I paid for it by myself as my first vehicle). Within a week of him driving it, there were crumbs on the floor and not a single cupholder was empty. Not only this, but he accidentally left a bag of buns under the seat. I told him to take it out when I found it, he left for work, and I realized it was still there weeks later because he forgot about it again. Moldy af. I had to clean everything again myself, and snapped saying that the next time I find so much as a straw wrapper left in the car he wont be allowed to drive it anymore. He is saving up for a down payment on a nice car so I've been patient with him, but he's starting to make messes again.\n\nWIBTA if I finally stop letting him drive it? He would have to take uber everywhere which would slow down his buildup of savings. ######","completion":" NTA. Unless you want to potentially live with a slob in the future you should make it very clear you won’t tolerate that going forward. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my wife split when our son was around 4ish, I don't want to go in-depth but she got married almost 3 months after our divorce.  We split custody 50\/50 so I got him 2 weeks every month and summer while she got him for easter and christmas.  \n\nMy ex's husband brought 4 kids together with my ex and my son, I don't have any other kids so it was just him.  My son changed the custody when he was 13 to where he spends summers, christmas and 3 weeks at my place with 1 week at their.  I know the divorce was hard and we did put him in therapy but he stopped after awhile cause he didn't feel anything was really changing and he seems better.  \n\nHe texted me that he was coming over, and my ex called me and she was very mad at me.  She said that I am poisoning our son, cause she said that he NEVER talks to his step dad or step siblings.  She said thinks like he calls himself an only child, never talks to his step siblings at all, never talks to his dad and said that if he could would live with me full time.  She got mad and told me to have a talk with him cause this isn't right or fair to her husband or kids.  \n\nI told my ex that if he has having troubles at her house that is her business and not mine.  She hung up the second I said that and I didn't bring it up with my son.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Unless you are poisoning your son, but it sounds more like he doesn't like his step siblings or step father. You don't have to solve their problems, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to your son about why he doesn't like spending time there. Maybe there are some easily solveable issues that would make things better for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know I'm the asshole for that pun, sorry.\n\nOk so here's the thing, shortly before the quarantine, there was a situation at work. We have a scent sensitive colleague who'd been around for a few months. Naturally, there was a ban on perfumes and scented creams so she can breathe. I'm fine with this. However, she started telling me I needed to change my laundry detergent.\n\nThe problem is, I have an allergy to SOMETHING in most laundry detergents. I honestly don't know exactly what it is, but I can basically only use the one or I break out in hives. And while I could realistically test a few different ones and only wash like one shirt in it, I don't really want to go out there spending 15+$ on detergent I'll likely be allergic to, you know? I did ask her what she used and bought some and it did not end well.\n\nFortunately, I've been working from home and haven't had to deal with this, but I just got an email from work saying we're scheduled back in two weeks and I'm not looking forward to this starting up again.\n\nWIBTA if I refused to change my detergent? Like, I get that breathing is more important than my epidermis, but I can't be breaking out into hives all the time either. X_x ######","completion":" NTA. Unless the person or workplace wants to reimburse you, you shouldn’t have to come out of your pocket to do trials. They should be sensitive to both of your issues. And if it’s incompatible, maybe assign you to separate spaces. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m actually making this post for my mom, because she doesn’t have a reddit account. I’ll show her the results.\n\nAnyways, we went to a Best Buy today to look at TVs because we’re moving, and our TV is ancient and barely works anymore. When we left the store, we heard a dog barking. A dog was left in a car, not running so no AC, with one window barely cracked. It was 85 degrees out today, so the temperature in the car would’ve gotten to 104 after just 10 minutes, 115 after 20. Dogs suffer from heat exhaustion when their body temperature reaches 103 degrees, and are at risk of heat stroke when they reach 106 degrees.\n\nFirst, my mom when in the store to ask them to page the owner, but the employees refused. My mom then decided to call the police, because we had no way of knowing how long the dog had already been in the car, or how long it would be until the owners got back. My mom didn’t want to risk the dog dying if the owners stayed in the store too long. So she called the police, and waited until they arrived. About 5-10 minutes after we found the dog, the owners got back. My mom let them know that she had called the police, and obviously they were mad at her because of it. They called her “uncaring.” So my mom is doubting herself, thinking maybe she took it too far. What do you think? ######","completion":" NTa. Uncaring? You mean, like leaving a dog in a hot car? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is going to be pretty short and simple. \n\nAs me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.\n\nAt first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.\n\nI love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.\n\nWill I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######","completion":" NTA. Ultimately this is about making sure you have as little stress as you can for giving birth, and without worrying about your babies health etc. Her hurt feelings can be soothed after, a bad labour can cause permanent issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI am a 55 year old man and my wife is 56. My wife recently got a job in it building I worked at for the past 5 years. I make more than my wife for the same job and I am in a hire position than her and I work longer hours than my wife. My wife thinks that it's sexist that I get payed more than her for the same job and asked me to quit or complain about the sexist pay. \n\nI refused and told her if I quit my job we won't be able to afford the house and we would be homeless and that we won't be able to get grocery plus I told my wife that I have years more experience than her. My wife yelled at me saying it's sexist and asked me if I am supporting sexism in the  work place.\n\n I told her no I am not but I am not quitting my job. My wife became furious and left and is not talking to me.I feel that my wife is right and I am the asshole hear. So I want to know if I am the bad guy who supports sexism ######","completion":" NTA. U have 5 years of experience working for that company, compared to your wife, plus U work longer hours than her. Definitely, you get higher pay, than her. How can it be sexist?! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I've been at the same place for 15+ years. Kinda toxic environment with no chance of moving up in the company any time soon. Been looking at another job making more money and about the same benefits since January. Submitted my resume, took their aptitude test and now scheduled for an interview. Nothing promised but outlook is good. AITA if I get it and just turn in my 2 weeks notice or should I mention that I'm applying other places? ######","completion":" NTA. Two weeks is standard. You owe them nothing more.\n\nDo not tell them you are looking elsewhere. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my wife (Jessica) have been together for 6 years now married for 1. However throughout that time my MIL (Julia) has always been a little on the distrustful side when it comes to me. For reference my wife is full German and I am a Puerto Rican.\n\nIt started off small so I never really cared, comments like “So Jessica how does it feel to have a taste of brown sugar?” Or one day she made some tacos for everyone and said “I hope I made them just like your mom does!” For those who don’t know tacos are a Mexican dish not a Puerto Rican dish. But none of those comments bothered me because the tacos tasted good and she tried, I get that she’s older and whatnot and she always seemed to be happy to see me so whatever.\n\nBut then I proposed to my fiancé and things started to get really weird. Like I’m talking “Oh no now our bloodline isn’t gonna be pure!” She said that as a joke but still really really weird right, but still I but my tongue cause her husband hasn’t said anything and also the entire family seems to love me and Julia actually started to try and learn Spanish.\n\nBut then me and Jessica buy a house and move in and Julia was giving Jessica some first house buying advice. Except I overhear her say, “Now you know how those people are ok their families are really close, so if they come to move in out of nowhere you have to fight to keep them out this is your space.” So I said, “Well my family isn’t a bunch of animals so how about you please leave we have a bunch of unpacking to do and in the meantime you can go to hell.” \n\nNeedless to say Julia is a total mess and went into a screaming match where “She knew i wasn’t the one for my daughter because she could sense there was something wrong with me.” I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing but now when Julia slammed the door behind her my wife turned to me and said “I get that was messed up but did you have to say that go to hell part asshole.” But seriously dealing with casual racism is enough, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Tu suegra es una pendeja racista y si sigue con esa mierda no l dejaría entrar a tu casa ni q vea los nietos si deciden tenerlos hasta q deje sus pendejadas. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.\n\nA year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he \"loved me\". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.\n\nI decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######","completion":" NTA. Truthfully, people think that you need to be friends with family. You do not. It doesnt matter that she's your sister if she disrespects you. You don't deserve that. At least, I dont think so, based off the information provided. Good for you for realizing that you dont need someone that disrespectful in your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.\n\nApproximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming. \n\nThen one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him. \n\nWe were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.\n\nSince that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.\nFrom their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him. \n\nFrom my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Truth is truth and you encouraged her to make up her own mind. If he wants a different reputation, let him work on it. ######"}
{"prompt":"She snapped me late last night. My \"friend.\" She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented. \n\nI asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property. \n\nFirst of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.\n\nBackstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.\n\nShe basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no. \n\nBut if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?\n\nI'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted. \n\nAnd I feel like the asshole! ######","completion":" NTA. True friends don’t ask their friends to break the law for them and this sounds like something that can very easily be found out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm working at home now taking calls about people's loans. I got a call from some woman asking some info about her payment history and then requested a copy. So I said I'd send her a full payment report. And then *click click* \"Done\"\n\nSilence for a bit. And the she asked \"Are you sending it?\"\n\nI told her I just did. And then she got a little irritated. \"That's it?\" she said in an irritated tone.\n\n\"Yes, I already sent it.\" She then said \"what's with your attitude?\"\n\nI said everything in a very neutral tone so I was confused. I simply said \"Everything is done. Do you have any more questions?\"\n\nShe then ranted at me a bit about how I was apparently acting cocky because I did that \"too quickly\" and easily. So I simply explained to her that it takes only a few clicks to email the info she had requested. And then she screamed \"that's not the point!\" and screamed a bit more and swore at me before hanging up.\n\nAll I did was send her the info she requested in a quick manner. I'm confused. So am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Tone police are garbage people who are offended by anything short of theatrically fake enthusiasm by customer service workers. They do not deserve an extra second of your self doubt. Unfortunately, you are likely to encounter them from time to time in any customer facing role. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) am half Korean, half white. Most of my life, I ignored my Korean side. Lately, though, I've been trying to get more into the culture. I've been learning about different traditions, the culture, the language, and using the Korean name my grandfather gave me. My immediate family was never close to my Korean side of the family, but we were close to my grandfather. \n\nMy Korean name, for as long as I can remember, has been 지해, romanized as Jihae. I looked it up and it means sea, which I feel like suits me. I've always been drawn to the water.\n\nRecently my sister was talking to my father and found out our names end with 혜, not 해. It's romanized \"hye\" instead of \"hae,\" though it's pronounced the same (hay). Traditionally, siblings share a syllable, which is why my sister insists on me using \"지혜\". However, it's a tradition that's slowly dying out in younger generations.\n\nI don't like 지혜. It doesnt feel like me, and I've been continuing to use 지해. However, the more my sister eggs me on about it, the more I worry I'm disrespecting my grandfather. I can't ask him about it since he passed years ago. \n\nAITA for spelling my name how I always have?\n\nEdit: The new spelling changes the meaning of the name. The new name means \"wisdom.\" ######","completion":" NTA. To be fair, with all due respect to your grandfather, a name is something one should be happy with so just use whatever makes you feel good. You surely don't mean ill, so there's no real reason to worry - it's not like you're hurting anyone or whatever. ######"}
{"prompt":"A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.\n\nI was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.\n\nI explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.\n\nI was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######","completion":" NTA. Three piercings per ear at age 7 is just silly and ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well. \n\nMy wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos. \n\nThis has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand. \n\nHowever when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids. \n\nI feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Threatening to cut off tuition!? Because they keep trying to practice a language? That’s extreme and weirdly controlling.\n\nAs long as you don’t do it when your youngest kid and wife are there, there’s nothing exclusionary about it. A housewide ban is ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M21) was recently given a set of wireless ear buds, the type that hang over the ear. A coworker that im close with gave them to me as a gift since he didnt like\/use them. These are expensive ones that he was otherwise going to sell online if i didnt want them. \n\n\nThe problem is this. Upon coming home and telling my mother about it and how nice it was for him to gift them to me, she asked, which then became practically begging me to give them to her after i had initially said no. She had gone on to say that she never got to have nice headphones\/listenjling apparatus and how she had gotten me nice things in the past. \n\n\nI didnt really want to give them up, but i also felt guilty about keeping something nice from her. She's someone who's worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and right now we're both working to pay for expenses between the two of us. But I also refrain from buying anything unnecessary because i know we're short on money, while she's usually buying new clothes and shoes now and again. \n\n\nWIBTA for not wanting to give up an expensive gift? ######","completion":" NTA. Those things are like £60. They were gifted to YOU. Perhaps for a birthday you could gift her a set but those ones are yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Most of your schools probably have had the fundraisers where you sell their wrapping paper or food or something and they give you a prize.\n\nWe had one of them come over to my school and I looked at the catalog. If i sold 10 dollars worth of goods i got a prize that was worth like 25 cents. If i sold 25 dollars wroth of goods i got something worth a dollar. If i sold 50 dollars worth of goods i got something worth 5 dollars. If i sold 100 dollars worth of shit i got something worth maybe 10-20 dollars (couldn't find the price of this one online). I can't remember the rest this was all like 5 years ago.\n\nThe person was making a presentation telling us how we can raise money for the school. He asked if we had any questions and I then asked him \"what percentage of the sales actually go to the school and not to your company?\" and he said that \"well we can't answer this question but i can tell you a lot of it will go to the school thanks for the question\" and before he could say next person i butted in  \"what's the point of me spending hours if not days trying to get 100 dollars worth of sales when i can just mow my neighbors lawn for an hour and get 20 bucks to buy the shitty prizes online for a cheaper price?\"\n\nEveryone starts laughing at this point and he basically refused to answer the question and told me to sit down. Principal came over and pulled me out and told me to sit in the office and told me i was extremely rude and disrespectful to adults. I became sort of a legend my middle school for this, though i was put on probation and they told me if i ever pulled this shit again i'd be suspended. Fuck my middle school ######","completion":" NTA. Those school fundraiser companies are such a scam and you were right to ask how much actually goes to your school (spoiler, if the answer to your question was \"I can't answer that\", then the school will be lucky to see more than 5% of the sales). On top of that the sales tactics they use to get kids into it are super shady. Good for you seeing a scam and calling it out. ######"}
{"prompt":"im a 14 year old high school freshman and my mom and i were just having a conversation like normal, but then she asked me whether or not i’d let her live with me when i was an adult and got married. i answered no because if i were to be married, the only people i’d want to live with are my wife and my kids (if i had any), and it’s likely that my would-be-wife would agree with me.\n\nbut my mom then got upset and kept accusing me of not wanting to care for her when she grew old but i explained that i wouldn’t want to live with her but i would still take care of her. she continued and compared me to my older sister, who said that she’d be fine with letting my mom live with her and her husband.\n\ni don’t think i’m an ass but she’s really upset at that and there’s this weird tension between us now ######","completion":" NTA. This would be controlling behavior regardless of how old you are, but it's especially bad since you're only 14. You would likely be miserable if your mom moved in with you as an adult. ######"}
{"prompt":"Like a lot of people, I had to save up and buy my own car. I was lucky to find an old Volvo in 2016 when I started my freshman year of college. All 4 of my siblings got cars from my parents but times changed and they couldn't afford one for me. \n\n\nMy sister who I love has crashed 2 of her cars. Each time my other siblings pitched in to buy her another car. At the time it didn't really bother me since I had my own car. In 2019 my Volvo had major mechanical failures and the repairs would cost more than the value of the car. I had a job but I still couldn't afford the repairs. So I spent my senior year of college without a car. Thankfully the bus system was amazing and it took me to my job and other places I needed to go. In January my sisters car broke down but it still works. \n\nI woke up last week to a new car in the driveway and for a few minutes, I thought it was mine. When it was given to my sister I lost it. Everyone in my family was home and I let them have it. She doesn't have a job so she doesn't need it for work. This is her third car. My internship couldn't bring me on full time so I can't afford to buy a car. I am still pissed off at what happened. They knew I need a car and they bought her one. ######","completion":" NTA. This whole “you’re not entitled” line of reasoning sometimes goes too far here. If your family’s internal culture is to pull together and help each other *when you can*, and you’ve participated in that as a general rule, then heck yes you’re entitled to their help when it’s your turn. That’s the dynamic that’s been set up in your family and what you’ve been raised to believe in, not just “expect”.  \n\nFor the people here wishing to be pedantic, the fact is, you may not be entitled to a car, but you ARE entitled to reciprocation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I told her I felt it was misleading to make me think she couldn’t afford to pay for her car battery if times were so tough and she can justify getting her nails done when I’m struggling to make it myself. Mind you she is on a fixed income, disabled, retired, and receives government compensation (social security\/disability\/drives Uber) for all of her bills, necessities, and fun. I’m a healthcare worker who works full time with 2 roommates out of work and on unemployment applying to grocery stores for work. We are making it work but I am trying to support us adoring this crisis with what I can but I can’t help but feel this is super selfish and wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. This wasn’t okay. You aren’t obligated to financially support your mother and she manipulated you into doing so while using her money for unnecessary things. Not cool. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) am gay, I came out to my family when I was 18 and my family reacted pretty well. Sometimes my mom will say like low key homophobic things but it’s really whatever. \n\nI’ve been dating a girl (23F)(Let’s call her K) for about three years now, and I took her home to meet my parents last week. My parents like her and all which is good. But this is the convo my mom, K and I had last night. \nWe were all sitting in the living room and she randomly says\n\nMom-“So who’s the man in the relationship?”\n\nMe-“Umm..what?”\n\nMom-“Whose the man. You know. During sex.”\n\nMe-“What the actual fuck kind of question is that?”\n\nMom-“I’m your mother. I have the right to know that about you.” \n\nMe-“ No you don’t. Why would you want to know ANYTHING about your daughter’s sex life? What’s wrong with you?” \n\nMom-“K, you’ll tell me. Which one of you is the man and which one is the woman? Are you the man?”\n\nMe-“ Yeah okay so me and K are tired we are going to bed.” \n\nK and I stand up and start walking up the stairs. \n\nMom-“It’s just a simple question! Why does it matter so much?”\n\nI tell K to wait on the stairway and I go back down to my mom. \n\nMe-“The fact that you want to know about my sex life is so weirdly disturbing that I don’t even know what to say. What is wrong with you? Jesus Fucking Christ”\n\nI was so weirded out by my mom doing this that we left that morning to go back home to our apartment. My mom has texted me a few times asking why I left and why I wouldn’t answer her questions about my sex life but I’ve ignored her. I do feel bad leaving because I haven’t seen my parents or my siblings in a while but wtf. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This was suuuuuper cringey. \n\nFirstly, she is not entitled to information about your personal life, sex included. Can't believe I'm typing this.\n\nSecondly, this heteronormization of homosexual relationships is just wrong. Wtf is that questipn even supposed to mean. You're obviously **both** the woman in your relationship, duh!\nSo I'd either go with that or ask her stupid question right back at her. Who's the man and woman in **her** relationship?\n\nAlso, even if she were oblivious to all of that. You saying you don't care to answer this question should have been the end of it. Digging her heels in like she did and even continuing to harass you makes her the super AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because this will be obvious on my personal.\n\nI (M17) live with my sister (F16) and my mom and dad. Very recently, my sister has gained about 20000 followers or so on Tik tok and has managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to about 500$. This, of course, made all four of us extremely proud of her. However, because of this, my sister has flirted with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on Tik tok and social media full time. My mom and dad both actually want her to do so because they’ve heard about the millions people can make. Of course, this made her extremely happy because she’d quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person (I think), would say this is a terrible idea. I couldn’t let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds. I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue ######","completion":" NTA. This was a very poor decision on her part to not finish high school to focus on social media. If something goes wrong with TikTok, she's out of luck. You're not a bad person for doing this because you care for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.\n\nThis kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.\n\nOn top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.\n\nAnd my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.  \n\n\nSo would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ######","completion":" NTA. This sucks for the student. Sounds like he's had ample opportunity to get caught up, and squandered it.\n\nSomething we tell our kids (16, 13, 6): You are free to choose. You are not free of the consequences of those choices.\n\nThis student chose to do nothing all year. The consequence is summer school or repeat the the class next year. That is not your problem. That is a student\/parent problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some backstory:\n     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store. \n    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes. \n    He responded with \"well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you.\"\n   I said \"well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them\" \n    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.\n   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. This sounds more like your roommates are using the pregnancy to avoid doing their fair share of the work. If her husband doesn't want his wife doing chores that's fine but its up to him to pick up that slack ######"}
{"prompt":"So. My siblings and I (2 sisters + 3 brothers + me) decided to go to a Korean bbq place a while ago. One of my sisters, let’s call her Maddie is very proud of her language skills. Idk what that even means. She doesn’t let anyone correct her and gets very upset if someone tells her she’s wrong. \n\nSo as soon as we enter the restaurant she greets a waitress with a “konnichiwa”. This waitress is a pro. Doesn’t even look surprised. She greets us in Korean and leads us to a booth. \n\nWe all sit down and hope that maddie doesn’t say anything like that again. No such luck. Every time a waiter\/waitress approaches our table she greets them with a “Konnichiwa” and says “arigato” when they put down our food. By the 3rd or 4th time even the staff are looking amused. \n\nOne of my older brothers, brave soul he is tries to tell Maddie to “maybe cut down on the greetings and thanks” since we are at a *Korean* restaurant- emphasis on Korean. She doesn’t get it. \n\nEnter brave soul sibling number 2: attempts to directly tell her she’s been talking to them in Japanese - gets cut off. None of us try again. \n\nAt the end of the meal, we are all trying to hold back laughter. As we are leaving, sister turn around and says “Konbanwa”. \n\nAfter leaving the restaurant I was the first one to break. I start giggling, then my other sister follows as well. Maddie immediately asks us why we’re laughing. We tell her that she’d been speaking Japanese in a Korean restaurant. She vehemently denies it.  \n\nWe pull out google translate to prove it to her. Immediate “You could’ve done that while we were eating instead of letting me embarrass myself in front of them”. \n\nYeah, she didn’t talk much during the drive home. ######","completion":" NTA. This sounds like a damned if you do and damned if you don't moment. Your sister was told a number of times that she was wrong but she got annoyed at the interference. Then she got annoyed outside when she realised she messed up. Your input wouldn't have made any difference at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.\n\nI've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.\n\nI found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.\n\nI was pissed and \"quit\" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.\n\nNow this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well. \n\nMy dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.\n\nI declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.\n\nThe family restaurant however, is going under.  \n\nNow there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This sort of thing is exactly why my dad didn't finalize his will until he'd sat down and talked to me and my step mom together and let us come to a decision. He could have just as easily split ownership of the shop until your stepmom died and chose not to and now he's suffering the consequences of his actions. And clearly, his child is better able to run a successful business in the modern world than he and his wife are. ######"}
{"prompt":"This whole argument is really weird to me. Basically, I'm on my period and my boyfriend said offhand he was glad he didn't have to deal with that and said something along the lines of, \"I bet you wish you had a dick.\" To which I responded, \"no, not really.\"\n\nHe seemed kind of taken aback by that and pressed the issue of exactly why I did not want to have a dick and I basically told him male genitals seemed really uncomfortable and awkward to possess, like I don't want some meat and a nut sack just chillin in my britches. Hard pass. He got weirdly offended by this and said I was being sexist??? I told him that I observe him scratching his nuts or rearranging his junk multiple times a day and that it would make me crazy if I had to constantly attend to my genitals like that. He got so mad about this to the point he stormed off to let me \"think about\" why what I said was so upsetting.\n\nI don't get it though? Not 5 minutes earlier he was trashing vaginas and periods, but that's okay, for reasons? Y'all help me out lmao ######","completion":" NTA. This reeks of the low-key sexist \"every woman secretly wishes she were a man\" thing. Insecure men really, REALLY care about the fact that they have a dick and somehow it makes them powerful and strong or some shit.\n\nYes, women may get periods but like...a dangling appendage that just kind of awkwardly hangs there sounds terrible to me lol. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a good friend from high school that I still hang out with (we are 5 years out from high school). We hang out a decent amount but mainly just to drink and smoke and go to raves together. He’s a really nice guy and a lot of time will smoke me out or gives me rides places without me asking. I’d say we hang out at least a few times a week to smoke some weed or whatever. He had been telling me for a while that since high school I had gotten much better looking especially since I have been working out for a few years and started going to expensive barbers to get better hairstyles. I didn’t think much of it because I was aware that he had a girlfriend. The other day he suggested that I sleep over because we had been drinking quite a bit and it would be unsafe for me  to drive back to my parents house( which was a very good suggestion on his part). I said ok I’ll grab the couch in the living room and you go sleep in your room.  Fast forward to later that night I wake up and this man is grabbing my shoulders completely naked and I freak out saying don’t effin touch me or else I’ll beat you up\/call the police. I had told him multiple before when the topic came up that I was not gay at all so I’m unsure why he tried this. He goes back to his room and goes to sleep and ignores me questioning him about what the fuck just happened. I grab my things and drive back to my house and he texts me the next day saying he was blacked out and doesn’t even remember doing anything. I tell him that I don’t think we should hang out anymore because I felt completely repulsed at what had transpired. He tells me that I am being unfair because he had no control over his actions because he was so drunk. Thoughts? \n\nEdit: wanted to clarify I’m a dude not a girl since some of these responses are assuming I’m female sorry didn’t clarify in the post ######","completion":" NTA. This really shouldn't even be a question ngl. He has a gf and hitting on you even when he's drunk isn't an excuse for him to do so ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright. So, kids are definitely a far off thing. I’m still under 18 and I don’t personally feel prepared to raise a kid, nor do I think I will be for the next good few years. But today some of my friends were talking about what they want their kids name to be (again just hypothetical future kids, none of my friends are actively pregnant). I chimed in, saying that I’ve always liked the name Laura. One of my fairly close friends asked if I’m really fit to be a mom or if it’d be unfair to the kid. Here’s the thing- I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. It does impact my life obviously, but I can still do most normal people things. \n\nI removed myself from the conversation to think for a while. I’ve never really thought fully about whether I want kids, but I certainly never thought that it’d be unfair to the kid just because I can’t walk. I PMd my friend asking if she really thought that it’d be unfair after the group chat convo moved on, and she doubled down and said yeah because kids deserve normal parents, and it’s unfair that I would take that away from them. Honestly idk what to think now. I’m a bit upset, but I don’t want to make a scene or anything. And I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and maybe she’s right. ######","completion":" NTA. This really hurt me to hear. I’m a social worker for children and adults with disabilities. It’s revolting how discriminatory the system is. Spina Bifida can be genetic, but it’s very unclear at the present. You are not less of a parent because you have a physical disability. It seems your “friends” are uneducated on the subject. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister been addicted to drugs for about 3 years now, she’s addicted to Heroin and Fentanyl and just start using something called Purple down.\n\nShe has down a lot of awful things to get her fixed, like steal money from her family and sell her body, she claims now that she got everything under control which I don’t really believe. \n\nRecently I found out that her soon to be husband doesn’t know that she’s an addict, My sister was acting odd when I brought up the monthly cost of it, she nervously laughed and said “you’re such a weirdo talking about that, are you into drugs now” so when her husband left I asked about it and she confessed that he doesn’t know I got super angry at her and told her she needs to tell him especially when you guys are trying for a baby and she said “I got everything under control so he doesn’t need to know” I got so upset that I left because I knew I couldn’t have at productive conversation at that time \n\nA week later, I called my sister and tried to convince her that she should tell her fiancé about her drug problem and she said “I can’t do that, I will get off them soon” and when I asked her if she was gonna go to rehab she said “no” I then asked if she not going to rehab then how will you get off them and she claimed she was gonna do it by herself \n\nNow I heard her claim she was gonna get off the drugs by herself for 2 years now so at this point I was frustrated and decided to call her fiancé and tell him, he was super upset and hurt that she didn’t tell him sooner but my sister was super Angry at me and threatened to disown me and never let me see my future nieces and nephews\n\nAITA for telling my sister Fiancé ######","completion":" NTA. This isn't everyday shit we're talking about. Your sister is addicted to what are literally the two most damaging and addicting drugs. At that point of addiction and delusion (her insisting she's going to get off), you almost can't give her the adult-like respect and independence that you would give to anyone else and not \"get into her business\". You saved that man's life in a way. Now he at least has the right to decide rather than be blindsided. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend is dating a guy who is a financial drain on her. He is an “entrepreneur” who can’t choose a practical career for shit. \n\nHe has been in 2 MLMs and has been a failed youtuber in the 3 years I’ve known him. Right now he’s in Forex doing terribly. He is in perspective definition, a NEET. \n\nTo his credit, he has always had a part time job. But, because he tanks all his money in these “side hustles,” he rarely makes enough to pay rent. In the past year, I think my best friend had to pay his half of the rent at least 3 times, and they live in a fairly pricey city. \n\nThe reason I brought this up is because my best friend called me crying and telling me that she thinks that she has to downgrade her apartment because she can’t continue paying his portion of the rent.\n\nI told her she never should have moved in with him, and she needs a boyfriend who is at her financial level. I don’t think a woman who would have a secure and middle class life should be worrying about a man baby, especially since she wants children soon. \n\nShe got really offended, but I think she needed to hear it. She told me “never to bring it up again”, but I truly think she’s blind to his faults. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This isn't about needing someone rich, it's about needing a partner who is responsible and who you can plan for a future with. She needed to hear it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everyone, I know this sounds crazy\/cruel but there’s a long story to it -\n\nI’m a transgender female. I was kicked out at the age of 10 because of the way I acted. I was always extremely feminine, wore girls clothing, painted my nails, etc... my parents and my sisters were extremely fed up and completely cut me out of their life. Luckily my grandparents took me in after all of this went down. We would go to family events and I’d see my parents and my sisters and they would literally leave. They’ve never accepted me and to this day I’ve only spoken to one of my sisters once when I saw her at the grocery store a couple years ago. I’m now 24 years old, and my beloved grandmother passed away a couple weeks ago. \n\nShe left everything to me in her living trust. I’m honestly shocked and don’t really know what I’m doing but that’s not really what I’m here to talk about. She left me the family house, most of her funds...literally everything. Now I don’t really know how will &amp; testaments work but I went over it with my psychiatrist (yeah I know, not the best person) and she kinda gave me the gist. I’m going to hire a lawyer and get everything sorted out, though. Anyways back to the point. My sisters and my parents reached out demanding to see the living trust. I’ve been ignoring them and I have no idea how they even got my number in the first place but they’re threatening to hire a lawyer, etc. I’m not planning on giving them ANYTHING at all. Am I a bad person for this? Do they deserve anything? I probably am making no sense because I’ve never been left with this much responsibility but yeah. Thanks so much if you’ve read this I just feel like I’m being a horrible person tbh. ######","completion":" NTA. This is your grandmother's will, not yours. She thought they deserved nothing, whatever they, you or anyone else thinks on the matter is irrelevant. This is her estate and this is what she legally specified has to be done with it. \n\nPersonally, I think you need to honour your grandmother's wishes. That means lawyering up, and be prepared if anyone in your family tries to contest the will. But it also means making the right decisions about this inheritance, use it wisely and to make something great of your life. Make your grandmother proud. ######"}
{"prompt":"So to start, this is about periods that wemon have every month so if you dont like hearing about it just leave. Also if you are homophobic\/biphobic leave\n\nSo im a teenager my periods are painful. The cramps are so bad that I want to curl up into a ball and die. The only way i function on my period is taking meds every 8 hours. My period is also very heavy and it really sucks. Ever since i first got my period me and my mom have talked about birth control because it stops your period. Not so i can mess around with guys. Now my family (my grandma and my aunt) strongly doesnt think i should. Because they belive if i start it now i wont be able to have children of my own, even though i wont because im bi and i like girls more than guys. They call me a brat for not listening to them and say i should listen to the over my mom. I'm siding with my mom and now they refuse to speak to me.  And its making me feel bad for not going with what my family belives in.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is your decision, and no one else should have an opinion on how you choose to deal with your painful periods. ######"}
{"prompt":"Thieving sister\n\nSo my sister (15) has been buying stuff off of our grandmas debit card. I told my mom multiple times to get my grandmas card number change because my sister has the information written down somewhere. She doesn’t change the card, and my sister buys $100 ring as a gift for her girlfriend, which she has shipped to our house. I grabbed the package and told my grandma I’d ship the ring back and get her her money back but my mom and dad just want to let my sister have the ring and pay her back over time... am I the asshole for being pissed at my parents for not taking action on this or am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. This is theft and your parents are complicit in it. All three are assholes. Can you assist your grandmother in reporting her card stolen so as to get a new one issued? ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface: I am 27 year old male and i have arthritis in my lumbar spine as well as a bulge in the same area. My only relief is laying down supine on my bed. Every other activity hurts. Walking, sitting, standing, everything. I just finished a year of unsuccessful treatment and being young my doctor said I could be placed on permanent restrictions but not permanent disability.\n\n\nMain issue: \n\nI'm coming home from picking up my dog from my girlfriends house as she was babysitting. I get home it's like 11:15 pm. There is absolutely no parking and my dad has the driveway because he pays the bills. \n\nI ask my sister and her guests of like 8 people  if anyone is parked directly in front of our house. One guy responds and I ask politely \" if you don't mind parking somewhere else I really appreciate it. I have back issues and it would really help me out if I didn't have to walk far.\" \n\nThen my sister chimes in \" I don't give a fuck, he doesn't have to move, if you got a problem with it then take it up with dad\". \n\nI disregard her. I repeat myself to her guest a simple \" I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out \" he obliged and we switched spots. ( The nearest parking spot was about a little less than quarter of a mile upward. Thanks COVID-19 now you have everyone home there's no parking)  no harm no foul. Now I hear my sister berating me to her guests about \" how I'm such a bitch and an asshole and how I'm faking an injury\"\n\n\nNow I'm not sure if this is relevant but I feel I should mention that our mother passed away unexpectedly on June 29th, 2020 and idk if I should just chalk it up to my sister still being hurt from our mom's passing. \n\n\nI just believe that since I live here, and given my back problem i was okay in asking him to switch spots with me. \n\nWas I the asshole for doing so? ######","completion":" NTA. This is the most clear cut case of NTA in recent memory, and high on the all-time list. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the way I make toast when I make a full breakfast is a bit weird. I toast it twice on the lowest setting so it's fresh and warm when I've finished with the fry pan. It's just easier to time things that way, and it's how I like to cook. \n\n\nMy SO doesn't understand why I do this, and wants me to change it back to his preferred setting when I'm done, so he doesn't accidentally come up with slightly toasted bread instead of brown.\n\n\nI maintain that he's a big boy and can change the setting just like I do when I go to use it. \n\nHis arguments are that it's weird how I do my toast (he's repeatedly asked me to re-explain because he just doesn't get it) , and when I change the setting its like \"putting the kettle setting on 50 degrees and not changing it back\".\n\n\nI feel like this disagreement is so stupid and I have no need to explain why I like to cook the way I do, but it keeps coming up so I'm honestly wondering if I'm going crazy or really being THAT inconsiderate. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is such a non-issue. It doesn't matter if how you make your toast is weird or he doesn't understand it. If everyone just checks the toaster before using it, everything will be ok. (Even if you each end up with suboptimal toast from time to time because you forgot to check.) ######"}
{"prompt":"So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said \"my boyfriend made me do it\" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said \"well i found it hilarious\" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying \"i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky\" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######","completion":" NTA. This is sexual harassment. They included you in their kink without consent.\n\nIn fact, I’m a bit worried about your friend. It reads as if she did not consent to him calling you on her phone nor did she consent to him sending the picture of her. Is she comfortable herself in this relationship? I would keep a close eye on how he treats her otherwise. ######"}
{"prompt":"My nephew is a great kid. He’s 17 and he loves a lot of nerdy things, he’s always loved Transformers and I took him to see every movie, and I watched every show with him (including the originals from the 80s) since I babysat him a lot. \n\nI am a collector. I have hundreds of figures and toys from Transformers, anime, games, etc. \n\nMy sister and her husband are very strict, very anti anything that’s not related to making money or working. Their kid’s not like that at all. He works hard in school and has a job, but he likes to have hobbies and do things he loves. \n\nIt’s was his birthday and I decided to gift him a rare figure that you can’t get anymore and is worth a fuck ton of money. He’s always loved that particular figure, and he was so happy to receive it that he cried. He decided then that he wanted to start his own Transformers collection and he ordered all the parts to Devastator and all his favorites with his own money. (I did buy him one more though, kid deserves it) \n\nMy sister is furious because she says I’m teaching him to be lazy and waste his money on useless shit. I got angry and told her that if it makes you happy, it’s not useless, and that she needs to show a little interest in her son beyond his grades and income because he’s told me that he feels like he’s unloved unless he’s her little robot. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is ridiculous and he is 17, not 7, nor was it inappropriate. But either way, he will be out of the house in like a year. Spoil him with Transformers then since he will be an adult and they cannot do anything about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, this is kind of of a weird one. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I want to preface all of this by saying that I love her and that this post makes her sound worse than she is. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, and hardworking people I have ever met. But, this whole situation has been so off putting to me and I don’t know what to do about it. \n\nMy girlfriend can be a bit clingy in general which, frankly, I have always found a bit cute. But, when she goes to the bathroom she always wants me to join her. At first I thought it was cute she wanted to spend time with me so much but I didn’t realize it was something she was going to expect every time. It started as just sitting on the side of the tub while she peed. Which could be inconvenient depending on if I was in the middle of something but I didn’t mind too much. But, starting a few months ago she started going number two and also dealing with her period stuff in front of me too. I’ve tried to excuse myself because the sights and smells. But, it hurts her feeling when I do and it always ends up in a fight about something unrelated. So, I’ve been dealing with it to keep the peace. She doesn’t mind if I go on my phone or do something else in the bathroom. But, even so, I just don’t want to witness\/smell\/hear those moments and it’s starting to impact my attraction towards her. I’ve tried talking with her but it seems to be really important to her for whatever reason. WIBTA if I stopped doing this? ######","completion":" NTA. This is really one for a therapist, and I mean that quite seriously. She needs to be able to go to the bathroom alone. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI am a 16 year old male boy and I have a mother. Anyway my mother is one of those parents who is great with the community. Anyway a few days ago my mother adopted a  15 year old girl and a 10 year old boy who are Billings. She made me give up my room I stayed for 14 years to the girl and made me share in a smaller room with the 10 year old boy.\n\nAnyway the 15 year old girl constantly makes fun of me and the 10 year old boy brakes my things and I don't give him permission to touch my property. I told my mom either give me back my old room or make the 10 year old and 15 year old kids share or make a brand new room for one of them or I am living permanently for the rest of my life at my dads house who lives in a way better neighborhood. \n\nI also told my mom if she wants me to visit her she is going to have to actually parent these adopted kids other wise she is going to be stuck with problem children. My mother yelled at me for not considering them as a family and telling them that the reason they are problem children is because they had a tough life and that I am not accepting them as family. My mother also told me that I am the problem child because I have no empathy for these kids.\n\nShe said that the 15 year old girl needs more privacy than boys and that I can just man up. Mother told me that I can just man up and live here. I told her that I am heading to my dad and I am not going to have a relationship with her anymore and that she can love her adopted children I told her I need my own room as much as the 15 year old girl. My mother yelled at me and told me to get lost. I am at my dads house now. My dad is very furious at my mom. I might have been mean about the adopted kids and that I might have been rude to my mom but those kids break my things and bully me so I don't want to live with them aita ######","completion":" NTA. This is NOT how you introduce adoptive siblings. She didn't even ask how you would feel and then put you out of your childhood bedroom... If she at least just moved the boy into your room it would make more sense. But what she's doing is making you resent these kids for HER actions. She should have taken parenting and introductory classes before adopting these kids, and if she did she isn't putting any effort into using the tools she was given.\n\nINFO: Did you know about the adoptions before you met the kids? I'm just curious. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.\n\nI understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?\n\nFor context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######","completion":" NTA. This is literally medical abuse, OP. Health problems, especially dental problems, don’t tend to go away on their own and delaying treatment will only make it worse. If they don’t agree, book yourself in and tell the dentist to bill your parents. Your health should come first. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a condo type house so there are 2 separate apartments in one building. I (F23) live alone and the person in the other apartment is a man with multiple sclerosis.\n\nOur paths rarely cross because I work 8 - 5 and he doesn't appear to leave his house very often; however, I was home one day back in October and he knocked on my door. He asked if I could drive him to the bank to get cash and then to pay rent. Even though I felt slightly uncomfortable, I also felt guilty because he needed help. So I did.\n\nSince then, every month he has asked me for help and every time I was genuinely busy and unable to help him. I told him that I work all day and travel on the weekends so he should find another arrangement. However, he started knocking on my door more frequently and although I feel like an ass, I started ignoring them. \n\nPresently, I'm staying inside and working from home. On Monday, he knocked on my door and I told him that I'm limiting my interactions with people. On Thursday, he knocked again and I was on the phone with my mom so I opened it and said \"I'm busy right now, do you need anything?\" but he turned around and walked away. He knocked again Friday night, which I ignored and he has knocked 3 times today. \n\nI feel like an asshole for ignoring him and not wanting to help him but he has done some other stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I want to be left alone but he either doesn't understand or is overlooking my requests. AITA for ignoring him? ######","completion":" NTA. this is kinda weird, you told him you're not really a viable option for helping and he keeps knocking. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today is my (24) birthday, I just got done with work and was watching tv when my girlfriend of 4 years came in the room to tell me she made my favorite kind of pie. She then asked me if I would rather kiss her for $100 dollars or kiss the hottest girl I know for $700. Not thinking much about it I said I would kiss her for $100. She got upset that I didn’t say she was the hottest girl I knew. She stormed off to our room and won’t talk to me. To me it seems like a trick question and I don’t get why she is so mad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is just a silly trend in Twitter. I asked my bf the same (kiss me: 100 dollars or hottest girl: 1 mill) and he said he’d kissed the hottest girl once and we’d have our life solved.\n\nI think she overreacted a bit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day.\n\nI received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor.\n\nWhen they  told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive.\n\nI got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one.\n\nAnyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week.  I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######","completion":" NTA. This is hurting you financially. Take them to court. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has this personality. If she is happy, everyone’s happy -maybe a bit annoyed, because she yells a lot- but if she’s anxious, then she makes sure everyone’s anxious. We’ve told her multiple times to stop making her problems the whole family’s problems but she won’t listen and will just keep doing it.\n\nToday my mum cooked an organic burger, which is unusual. These burgers are tastier and better than regular ones (in my opinion) and I was very happy to be able to eat one pacefully. But my sister stomped downstairs and started complaining about how much homework she had. I did not want her to keep me from enjoying the burger, so I said to her:\n\n“Can you stop taking about your homework while we’re having dinner? You’re always talking about your homework and it’s very annoying”\n\n“Don’t listen if you don’t like it”\n\nI was very annoyed by her answer. She was fully aware that she was annoying me -and everyone in the family- and still wouldn’t just shut up.\n\nI got up, took my plate and my glass and sat down on the living room’s table to enjoy my burger, which by the way tasted delicious.\n\nWhen I went back to the kitchen to put the plate in the dishwasher and everything, she gave me a death stare. It almost felt like she was trying to guilt trip me for not standing her raging complaints. She’s now upset with me and will talk to me as if I was a POS.\n\nHonestly, I am very tired of her attitude. I cannot fully figure out wheter I am being the asshole or not. She’s always putting us in a bad mood and is not willing to stop her selfish bratty attitude. ######","completion":" NTA. This is hard believe for some people like her want to rant in during dinner to let meal get cold or what?  But it look like she try pushing her own problem to blame on them like you.. Good for you want to have peaceful dinner. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y\/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me. \n\nShe was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.\n\nWhenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.\n\nOur group likes to do \"air kisses\" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has \"accidentally\" kissed my actual cheek. But she never \"accidentally\" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...\n\nRight before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.\n\nI'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.\n\nBut we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again. \n\nWill I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?\n\nTL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ######","completion":" NTA. This is getting to the point where you need to tell her she's making you uncomfortable because she's targeting you more than others.\n\nAlso let her sit down first so you can avoid sitting next to her for a while.\n\nIf your friends accuse you of being homophobic just explain what's been going on. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a \"it's not fair\" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former \"deadbeat\" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??  \n\nLe sigh... ######","completion":" NTA. This is for your kid, not you. He shouldn't of been a deadbeat and this wouldn't have been an issue. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a bit of context.\nI’ve been begging my husband to let me buy a car since he’s been driving me literally everywhere for over 2 years because he doesn’t want to spend money on a car or insurance. He ended up telling me no again because we need to continue putting money into our savings. I got pretty upset seeing as we have $16000 in our savings already and I just want a used car to drive myself to work. \nHe saw how upset I was and decided to build me my own computer so we could play video games together. I told him once a while ago that I really don’t want a computer and would rather put the $1000 towards a car. But then he started showing me different video games and won’t stop talking about it and I don’t have the heart to tell him I actually have no interest in playing any video games since they kind of bore me. Now it’s annoying the hell out of me because he’s asking me what kind of mouse and keyboard I want and complains when I tell him “I like how this one looks” because “that’s a shitty one” “that’s not a gaming keyboard” and I sort of lost it and yelled and told him “buy me whatever, I really don’t care about this at all!” And he said it hurt his feelings so I apologized and kind of lied and told him how excited I am to have a computer. Not only that but he decided to spend another $100 on wood and materials to build our computer desk. We also need to buy another chair and headset for me. At this point, I feel like if I tell him that not only do I not care about video games, but that this is all a huge waste of money to me, he would be extremely upset and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Should I just try to get into video games for him or should I tell him the truth? ######","completion":" NTA. This is financial abuse, you should buy what you want especially when you decent savings for a uesd car. You dont need permission. And your husnand makes a computer WTF. I suspect he will say its a gift for u but will use it way more than you. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I'm sixteen and my brother is eight and autistic.\n\nMy brother is developing an infection on his leg that's getting worse every day. Just three months ago, I had to do a major surgery on both legs for this exact infection - MRSA - and almost had to amputate. I can tell that my brother is developing the same thing, but my parents are refusing to take him to the hospital and insist on using various creams on the spot that aren't prescribed and don't seem to be helping.\n\nI've asked both my parents to please take him to the hospital, because I struggled so much with my own surgery and Im hoping if we take him now, we won't have to operate on his legs. However, my mom is insistent that it's no big deal (she insisted this last time when it happened to me too, which is why my legs got so bad before I was taken to emergency). My dad just complains about how my mom would yell if he took him to the hospital and we've argued about this but he won't budge.\n\nI want to take my brother to the hospital, maybe early in the morning before my parents wake up. I can cover the Healthcare costs with the money I've earned tutoring and all the money I've saved all my life from birthdays and holidays. Granted, I can't sign consent forms for him as I'm not an adult yet, but that's only if he needs surgery and I don't think he does yet, though he will if it goes untreated for a week. ######","completion":" NTA. This is called medical neglect. He needs urgent treatment immediately. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 15f. My mom is 35f. Before the pandemic started, my mom’s friend and her two kids (friend is 36f, kids are 12f and 14f) came to stay with us, and are still here.\n\nThe friend’s kids are annoying, which I can deal with, it’s not an issue. But they’re also using my hygienic things, like my razor, my special soaps\/hair products that I bought for my hair and put my name on. They’ve also been drinking after me. And they got into my prescribed pain killers that I got last week, my iron supplements, my last pack of birth control, and the stash of snacks I keep in my false bottom drawer in my room. They are also harassing my cat and tearing tufts of his fur out. I told my mom about this, she didn’t seem to care.\n\nMy mom’s friend, their mom, has also been an issue. She’s been smoking weed in the basement, which wouldn’t be an issue except she smokes enough of it to cause the entire house to smell like it, and causes me not to be able to breathe. Mom’s friend goes out partying, gets drunk, and hangs out with my mom in her room pretty much 24\/7. I’ve been sick and unable to keep food down this week, and I’ve been ignored by my mom because she’s hanging out with her friend. Mom’s friend is also helping her kids in eating pretty much everything in the fridge before I get a chance to get to it.\n\nI told my mom we needed to have a serious talk yesterday, and made her sit down and talk to me. I told her what her friend’s kids were doing, and then I straight up told her that her friend was causing my legitimate distress because apparently her presence was enough to make my mom stop acknowledging my existence. My mom told me that I didn’t need to have this conversation with her, and that I was being a rude spoiled brat. She’s gone back to ignoring me, and I am still sick. AITA for telling my mom our guests are causing me problems? ######","completion":" NTA. This is all gross at the least (the razor) and DANGEROUS at most (the pills!!!!!!???). Both parents are unfit, it seems, and why the hell is the friend going out and partying during a fucking pandemic? ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is 10, 1 year ago he asked for a pet Guinea pig.\nWe have a large garden so I agreed but only with some terms. \n\nI would cover the upkeep of food, bedding and pig treats and toys.\n\n\nHe would have to save up half the money for a large hutch and I would pay for a large outdoor run,  he agreed and did his chores and for his birthday I paid for 2 Guinea pigs from a local farm seller.\n\n\nMy son named the guinea pigs pudding and candy. \nWithin days of buying them my son lost interest, he refused to feed them, refused to clean them and refused to move their run around the garden so they were on fresh grass.\n\nI warned him multiple times that I would take possession of the pigs as my own, I discussed with my husband before we got them that I would quite enjoy having them in the garden as I had Guinea pigs growing up and always adored them.\n\nSo after a few months of doing 100% of the work myself I renamed the guinea pigs geralt and roach.\n\n\nWhen my son was in the garden playing he heard me calling them to get them in the pen.\n( I move them from the outdoor run and pen to the indoor shed pen at night) \nHe threw an absolutely huge tantrum and demanded o change the names back.\n\n\nI said if he began looking after them like he was supposed to that he could change the names back.\n\n\nHe continued to sulk and moan  but eventually agreed to these terms.\n\n\nIt's been a week since that tantrum and he hasn't been near them since, he sulks every day about the names but refuses to help.\n\n\nmy husband has told me to just change the names back and let it go, but I prefer those names and seeing as I'm doing all the work and I see them as my pets now not mu sons why shouldn't I? \n\nI will gladly re think this situation if I am wrong or missing the point but I just don't think my husbands point Is very fair,  my son needs more discipline already as he seems to be so demanding and sulky lately AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is actually the most responsible and reasonable reaction I've seen to the classic issue of a kid not caring for the pet he begged for. I'm so glad that you made sure that you would be happy having the guinea pigs yourself before you got them! Thank you so, so, so much for not giving away the piggers to \"teach him a lesson\" - such a common and awful response.\n\nI think this is perfect. The piggies are happy, you are happy, and your son is getting a mild but clearly felt reminder that if you don't care for your pet, it's not really your pet. Totally appropriate, and his lack of work and presence of tantrums isn't a sign that this is unreasonable. It's a sign that he is a kid, and he's trying to find an easy way out where he gets to call them his but doesn't do the work. \n\nHold the line. Be patient and calm and explain that he really needs to do the work if he wants them to be his, not for your sake but for theirs. Being a pet owner isn't about a possession; it's about a relationship,  and that needs to happen every day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a 4 bedroom apartment with 3 other guys. I haven’t had any issues with any of them up until now when the roommate on my side started dating this girl and she basically moved. This doesn’t particularly bother me but her kid is living here now. He didn’t ask any of us if this was okay (obviously I would’ve said hell no regardless). Kids are, by nature, noisy. She’s like 6, so she’s gonna play and be a kid. However, I didn’t sign up to live with a kid. \n\nI was going to talk to him about it and let him know that it wasn’t cool that the kid lives here. But I think I’m just going to report it to the leasing office. He didn’t give us the decency of asking, so I figure why should I? \n\nFor God sakes, he doesn’t know any of us that well and they leave her to sleep in the living room (our common space) and all of her stuff is out there. I would be worried for my kids safety and be super uncomfortable with that - you never know what kind of people you’re around. \n\nAm I the asshole here if I report him? ######","completion":" NTA. This is a safeguarding issue if nothing else.\n\nAs you say, they don’t know any of you well enough. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it. \n\nIn contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.\n\nwhenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later. \n\nAm I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######","completion":" NTA. This is a really bad mindset for anyone to have and it can make people feel like their problems don't matter. Don't listen to them. You're not a brat and it's fine to be upset about things that may not seem huge to other people. Having money is definitely not a solution to everything, btw. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother(single dad) and I live next to each other. He is still working outside of the home but I am not so his daughter has been hanging out with us while he’s gone. She is 13 so she can be home alone but obviously a 13yo home alone for 40+ hours a week isn’t the best idea. \n\n\nAnyway, I have a 5 year old that recently got an easy bake oven that we struggled to use. She made a few “desserts” that didn’t turn out. We only had one packet of cake mix left and 13yo niece offered to help 5yo make it. \n\n\nSuddenly I have a crying 5yo on my hands because she and Niece were  able to make the cake...and Niece ate the whole thing. 5yo didn’t get a single bite and now we have no more mixes left. \n\n\nI thought it was very rude so I sent Niece home for the day. And told her she could come back tomorrow IF she apologizes to 5yo. She gave a half assed apology but defended her actions by saying she made it so she get a to eat it and went home.\n\n\nToday she came back over and I told her that I wanted a real apology and for her to realize what she did was mean. She got huffy and went back home.\n\n\nI get a text from my brother asking why Niece is home crying saying I banned her from ever coming back over. I explained the situation and he reponded “omg this is so petty, why are you manufacturing drama between kids?” \n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is a lesson on sharing. This isn’t manufactured drama it’s life. Your niece has to learn some social skills. At 13 years old, she should know the difference between right and wrong. But, I would allow her to come over and ban her from the easy bake oven.\n\nPro tip: Since you are out of mixes, you can go online and get a recipe to make more just google “easy bake oven homemade mixes. “ ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother(single dad) and I live next to each other. He is still working outside of the home but I am not so his daughter has been hanging out with us while he’s gone. She is 13 so she can be home alone but obviously a 13yo home alone for 40+ hours a week isn’t the best idea. \n\n\nAnyway, I have a 5 year old that recently got an easy bake oven that we struggled to use. She made a few “desserts” that didn’t turn out. We only had one packet of cake mix left and 13yo niece offered to help 5yo make it. \n\n\nSuddenly I have a crying 5yo on my hands because she and Niece were  able to make the cake...and Niece ate the whole thing. 5yo didn’t get a single bite and now we have no more mixes left. \n\n\nI thought it was very rude so I sent Niece home for the day. And told her she could come back tomorrow IF she apologizes to 5yo. She gave a half assed apology but defended her actions by saying she made it so she get a to eat it and went home.\n\n\nToday she came back over and I told her that I wanted a real apology and for her to realize what she did was mean. She got huffy and went back home.\n\n\nI get a text from my brother asking why Niece is home crying saying I banned her from ever coming back over. I explained the situation and he reponded “omg this is so petty, why are you manufacturing drama between kids?” \n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This is a learning moment. The 13 year old will either learn to share, or that all she has to do is go crying to Daddy to get her way.\n\nYour daughter is also having a learning moment. She understands that what happened was unfair, now is Mum gonna stand up for her, or is Mum gonna sweep it under the rug? ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend Alicja was pissed drunk the other night, to the point she was sleeping on the street and I tried calling her a taxi to get her home while ensuring she wasn't choking on her vomit and nobody would do anything to her. 2 taxis straight up refused to take her becuase she's drunk and the last taxi said they would only if i was in the taxi with her, holding her to ensure she vomited in a barf bag and not all over the taxi. I spent like 50 zloty, on the taxi ride (that's a lot in Poland) and I take her to her apartment, no elevator so i have to walk her up 7 flights of stairs.\n\nWhen we fianlly get in her place, I get her to drink some water and I hold her hair back as she throws up in the toilet. Her flatmate gets woken up and tells me to leave, to which i refuse and I tell her Alicja said i can spend the night here and I have no money left in my wallet to get a taxi and I can't walk back either becuase my phone is dead (google maps was needed, unfamiliar area). They unfotunately didn't have an Iphone charger. Her flatmate is telling me to leave and I tell her to shut the fuck up becuase I'm trying to take care of Alicja and I have nowhere else to go. her flatmate can't force me to leave from Alicja's room becuase htey rent different rooms, jsut shair a common bathroom and kitchen. \n\nThe flatmate kept saying she feels uncomfortable with boys in her presence and she doesn't want me nearby and I told her to shut hte fuck up and go back to bed, Alicja drank like a liter of Vodka and I spent 3 hours and 50 zloty getting her there, I have no energy or money to get home and i don't care what her flatmate says. \n\nA bunch of my friends are pissed becuase they are also friends with the flatmate and are saying i made her feel \"uncomfortable\" and i shoul'dve not stayed to which i say fuck that i don't give a shit i have no interest at all of being involved with the flatmate and i left the house at 8 am. ######","completion":" NTA. This had me torn for a minute, but putting myself in your shoes, I would be in such a terrible mood if I had to spend all my money dragging my friend home because she over did it, cleaning up her vomit, all to have her roommate immediately tell me to gtfo while I’m still helping the drunk friend. Could you have responded to her in a better, nicer way? Yeah probably, but not after everything else you put up with that night. \n\nYou’re NTA and you’re a great friend for doing all that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So when my wife and I got married I was probably 40 pounds overweight. I gained weight for a couple years until I finally got sick of being a fatass and started exercising and dieting. Since then I’ve lost 50 pounds, and I’d say I’m within a healthy weight range now.\n\nWhen I first married my wife I would say looks wise I was out of her league. I think she’s very pretty and I was definitely not good looking. I’d say now we’re more equal as physical attractiveness goes, not to be a brag.\n\nAnyway I was talking to a friend about how I’d finally lost weight and it felt good, he congratulated me then said that I should upgrade my wife. I figured it was a joke and chuckled a little but he kept going with it, said that we’ve only been married a few years(4, not nothing) and that I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone “ugly” that I married because I was fat.\n\nI said yes, I do in fact want to spend the rest of my life with someone I married, that tends to be how it works, and that I’m not a piece of shit so I’m not going to upgrade my wife.\n\nHe got a divorce a few years ago and talked a bit about how good it felt to be out there again, but never really said it was because he thought she was ugly.\n\nHe got pissed and said that he divorced his wife for looks and he isn’t a piece of shit, at which point I said that I disagreed, and he hung up. He messaged me later that we exchanged some “harsh words” and should just move past it, but then followed it up with he wants an apology.\n\nI don’t know what the fucks wrong with him, but a mutual friend also messaged me that calling him a piece of shit wasn’t “cool”. I don’t know I’m pissed off right now so it’s hard to tell if I went too far.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. This guy is a major asshole and what he suggested was disgusting. Same goes for anyone who defends his behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband(38M) and I(37F) have been married 17 years. We have two children, 18M and 13F. Every few years my husband gets what I lovingly call baby fever and wants to have another child. I usually respond with \"the baby factory is closed\" and he drops it. It tends to only happen more when friends, family, or coworkers have babies so I didn't really take his requests to seriously. \n\nLast year he told me he wants to have another kid but unlike the other times, he hasn't let it go. It is really putting a strain on our marriage. To him there is no reason to not have another child. We are in a better state financially than we were with the first two and have better insurance. We also own our home. Why not have another? \n\nTo me, it's another 10 months of misery. My first two pregnancies were really rough on me physically and mentally and I was in my early 20s then. I can't imagine how much harder it would be now that I'm pushing 40. Then there is the months\/years of diapers, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, etc. My husband is a good father but 90% of all child care from birth to about 5 years was my responsibility. \n\nI am firmly against having another child. My husband thinks it is unfair that I keep saying no and there is nothing he can do about it.\n\nAITA for telling my husband no to having another child? ######","completion":" NTA. This guy is a human skin suit stuffed with red flags. Please keep us updated and don’t give in! ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because my parents browse this sub\n\nSo today my father set a challenge for me and my mother.\n\nWho ever completed the 5km loop around our house would get anything they wanted( as long as said item was under 100 euros)\n\nSo I can do 5k in 27 minutes while it takes my mother 40 ish minutes so I was sure I was gonna win.but my mother has a habit of letting me run off, then calling one of her friends to bring her home after about 1km, so it seems like she is this super fit \"model\", while she makes me look like a fat lazy bastard.\n\nSo we set off and I tailgate my mother so she cant cheat and I tail her for about 4km and then i sprint the last 1km and win, but my mother was fucking furious, she went off at me saying I \"belittled her and made her look unfit\" and is demanding that my dad gets her a present because \"it's not fair to get your son something and not your wife\"\n\nSo reddit, aita for tailgating my mother? ######","completion":" NTA. This goddamn post is riddled with typos. Every time it says \"mother\" or \"mom\" it should say \"toddler\".  Please fix this. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######","completion":" NTA. This disease kills people and gives others life long injuries\/effects. Not just old or sick people. \nLet her ignore you. That is not the sort of person you want in your life. She doesn't care about your safety, your husband's safety or anyone elses. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been talking about his interest in music and movies and he admits that he think men are better\/more interesting in movies and in music. They’re better writers, singers, musicians, etc. He doesn’t think women are incapable of being just as good as men or better, he just says he hasn’t found any female artists that impress him as much as men do. Which is upsetting enough I guess. But he also says the few female artists he does like, he won’t play when I’m around because he doesn’t want me to start playing more female artists all the time since he doesn’t like a majority of them. So obviously I’m pissed. I feel like he’s just manipulating when me he does that. Who’s the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. Thinking men are inherently better at something than women is sexist, yes. And it sounds like he lets the gender of the artist influence his opinion more than the music. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little bit of context; I (14M) live in NYC and have 2 siblings: my sister (23F) and my brother (8M).  We live in a brownstone where my parents have the biggest bedroom, I have the second largest, my brother has the third largest, and the other 2 bedrooms function as guest bedrooms.  My sister lives in a college dorm, and only spends breaks at home.\n\nSo until my sister went to college she lived in the second biggest bedroom (where I currently stay in), I stayed in the third largest (where my little brother currently lives in), etc.  However, once she went to college we all 'moved up a bedroom'' I guess, and now when she visits she usually stays in one of the guest bedrooms.  One thing to note is that my bedroom is quite a bit bigger than the guest room.\n\nUntil now there's never been a problem with that arrangement.  Recently though my sister had to come home due to current events, and it looks like she's going to stay until summer break ends.  In light of this she wants her old bedroom back.  \n\nMy parents agree with her, and say since she's \"older\" she should have more space, and I ought to be more understanding and whatnot.  \n\nI absolutely refuse.  All my stuff are in this room, I've stayed here for the past 5 years, and frankly, IDGAF that this was originally her bedroom.  However, my parents are basically making me, and in reality there's not much I can do about it.  So reddit, for my peace of mind, AITA for not wanting to give up my bedroom for my older sister? ######","completion":" NTA. They’re complete jerks for doing that to you when she’s going to leave again anyway. Are they going to kick your little brother out of his room because you’re older and need more room?! ######"}
{"prompt":"Kind of a long post but bear with me.\n\nYesterday, my husband's side of the family wanted to celebrate Mother's Day since it was a nice day out and tomorrow (actual holiday) is supposed to rain pretty badly.\n\nEvery year since husband and I have been married, we've done a joint Mother's Day: an outdoor barbecue at his parent's house.\n\nBecause of the \"lockdown\", I already wasn't thrilled about the idea of going out, but husband persuaded me saying \"it will be less than ten people, so it's fine.\" I do love him and get along with most of his family, so I agreed. Now, here's the thing. His mother is an absolute Karen and has never liked me. My own mom passed away only a couple months ago due to lung cancer and this will be the first Mother's Day without her. With this on my mind, I wasn't looking forward to celebrating the holiday, but I toughed it out and went to the barbecue.\n\nSince I had to work late (because they made this a WEEKDAY get together last minute, no less) I missed the first hour, which MIL criticized me for non stop.\n\nAlready I can see the whole event is just going to be about her. I also did not get a chance to go the store to pick out a card, so when MIL told me where to put gifts and I didn't have one, of course she made a big deal over that too.\n\nShe loudly called it out, too, and then pulled husband aside and asked why he couldn't have gotten a wife that would have bothered to get her MIL a present for Mother's Day. I was pretty upset over this, so I just walked out and told her not to expect me to show up for Christmas either.\n\nHusband spent the whole night later on the phone with her trying to console her and siding with his mom, making me think I was TA and wrong for walking out and showing up empty-handed. After all, they ARE sort of my family too.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They\/Your husband didn't seem to take your schedule into consideration whatsoever, and let you fall flat on your face when it came to the gift. Your husband should have supported you by 1) planning the celebration on a day more convenient for you or, if that wasn't possible, 2) get a gift in your name for your MIL . It's like he doesn't want your relationship with her to improve.\n\nI also don't see him sticking up for you when your MIL is complaining to him about something pretty superficial (the gift), neither during her complaints or afterwards. Like, he could've told her you recently lost your own mother and this day is hard enough for you as is?? Why didn't he do that, or say anything in your (rightful) defense? Not even a peep when you arrived an hour after the event started because you were WORKING, like what's his deal?\n\nI don't think you're TA at all and I'd stick to your guns about Christmas (or other events). ######"}
{"prompt":"Both of my parents have been on an extended visit since. I also have an 18 month old daughter which they want to help look after, which sounded cool at first, but here’s the catch, every morning and throughout the day, they both get completely stoned off their asses and are, what I would consider, WAY too careless with my daughter. From today alone:\n\n-Dad took my daughter downstairs to play, then stopped paying attention and she climbed up the stairs all by herself. We have baby gates on both ends of the steps, so, the gate was left open and she was ignored long enough to make it up 2 flights of steps. \n\n-Mom decided she wanted to cook on the stove and was completely oblivious to my daughter reaching up to the stovetop almost grabbing a hot pan. Luckily I was there and hollered at her before she could. \n\n-Mom was holding my daughter and tried to pass her to my dad, and “something” happened where my daughter kicked over a cup of coffee onto my wife’s Nintendo switch, completely bricking it. They both refused any responsibility and tried to blame the 18 month year old. Their completely baked indifference about ruining my wife’s Switch literally brought her to tears, but that could also be the hormones from her being 7 months pregnant. \n\n-When they went to the down stairs living room, they left the baby gate open, luckily I was paying attention when she swung it open, and stopped her from trying to fall down the steps. \n\nI finally said something just now to my mom about it, when my wife went to the store. I was calm, but very matter of fact and direct. She got super defensive. I tried my absolutely hardest to be chill and not be accusatory, but can tell I still hurt her feelings. I just want my parents to not smoke so much when she’s supposed to be caring after my daughter. I don’t feel like this is an unreasonable demand. AITA?\n\nTLDR: Mom and Dad smoke too much weed and I don’t want them watching my toddler unless they dial it back. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They've already demonstrated that they can't keep your kid safe while they're high. It's not unreasonable at all to ask them to smoke after they're done with childcare, and if they can't do that then it's certainly not your fault. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context - I'm back in my hometown, staying with my parents, grandfather and sister in a small apartment which has only two bedrooms. Needless to say, this has led to cabin fever.\n\nToday, my sister came to me with some news related to her job offer (they have delayed the joining date and reduced the salary) and I wasn't properly sympathetic because I was in the middle of some work (total asshole here, I agree).\n\nLater, when talking to her and my mother things got heated because I hadn't displayed proper empathy to my sister. My mother got angry, and when she gets angry she starts screaming. She started telling me off and complaining about how much my sister and I fight.\n\nNow, my parents have a very contentious marriage. I have grown up witnessing bitter fights every day, and my mother's constant complaining of my dad not living up to her expectations.\n\nBack to the situation - I got fed up with my mother's screaming and I said well you shouldn't complain about us, you and dad fight too so how is this different.\n\nMe saying this was unforgivable, and I have no right to comment on their marriage.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They're your parents, their marriage directly affects you. You have the right to comment on something that directly affects you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account, on mobile, first time poster, etc. \n\nMy partner (20M) “Jack” and I (20F) recently decided to get married. We have been starting to plan some broad aspects of our wedding so we’ll know more of what we’re looking for when we set them in stone. One thing we’ve started looking at is the number of guests we’re going to be inviting, since we want it to be as small of an affair as it can be with our large families. \n\nThis has me a little concerned about two guests I really want to invite: my ex best friend “Lindy”’s (20F) parents. Lindy and I were friends for about 15 years, but she basically ghosted me and told me I wasn’t her friend and she didn’t want me to contact her ever again. However, I have maintained some contact with her parents, who actually took my side and apologized for her. We have met in public a few times (I live in a different city now so not often) and they have met Jack. I sent them a card when they went through a tragedy, whenever we run into each other they are always so happy to see me. Overall I would say my relationship with them is great, and if they were not her parents there would be no question that we would invite them to the wedding. \n\nI don’t know if I’d be an asshole for inviting them, since I have zero interest in inviting Lindy. If I invited them, I’m concerned it would look like I was still bitter toward Lindy. Also, I feel bad for probably putting them in a tough position, having to choose between myself and their daughter. \n\nI asked Jack what he thought about it, and he said that if I would invite them if Lindy wasn’t their daughter, it shouldn’t make a difference that she is their daughter, especially since she was the one who ended the friendship and not me. I am still unsure, but I want to sort this out ASAP so that it doesn’t become a major stresser for me later. \n\nWIBTA if I invited them even though I’m not inviting their daughter? ######","completion":" NTA. They're your friends, Lindy isn't, and it seems like it's on her that she isn't. You shouldn't have to invite people you dislike to your big day. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my cousin and his wife have 2 daughters. Cora is 8, Anna is 15. Back in August, Anna and I were talking and I don't know what brought it up, but she mentioned that all she knew about any sex ed stuff was her mom told her women have periods and she assumed 'babies come out the butthole.' I know I might be the asshole for basically giving her the talk, because that's her parents' job, but I knew they almost certainly weren't going to tell her anything. I ended up going over pregnancy, what happens with periods, sex, protection and consent.\n\nAnyhow, I was honestly curious about why her mom didn't tell her anything aside from \"you're going to get a period every month and bleed.\" So, about 2 weeks ago, I went to my cousin's wife and respectfully asked why there hasn't been a sex ed talk between her and Anna. Mom said it was basically because her mom gave her an unclear sex ed when she was too young to understand, and she's had a very pathetic sex life. During the conversation, I tell my cousin's wife that it's my opinion that not giving a growing child age appropriate information about their bodies is like giving a 16 year old keys to a car and not telling them how to drive, how to maintain and care for a vehicle, and not giving them any driver's ed and expecting them to not to get tickets or get into accidents. I didn't say it in a rude or degrading way, I just stated it as my opinion and she could take it for what it was. I never told her that she's a bad mother, just that my opinion is that no sex talk is similar to giving a car to a teen with no driver's ed.\n\nWell, a few days ago, I was back at my cousin's house and my cousin said that his wife was mad at me and she doesn't want me at the house because I said she was a bad mother. Am I the asshole for voicing my opinion? ######","completion":" NTA. They're doing their kids a huge disservice, and you were right to respectfully point it out. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I feel terrible and guilty but I also feel like I have no choice. Looking for advice and unbiased judgment.\n\nI have a younger sister (26) who’s disabled. I won’t get into it but she’s unable to work a full time job and is on disability, which isn’t much. She’s been living with me for ~3 years. I pay for nearly everything including groceries but she chips in for utilities or takeout once in a while. \n\nLast year she started dating a guy and got very serious very quickly. He’s underemployed with social anxiety and lives off of a little money his parents send him each month. He also moved in with us a few months back. I live in a larger house so didn’t mind 2 more people at the time. \n\nTwo weeks ago my sister told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. She said she’s around 1.5 months along and they’re excited to be parents. I didn’t know how to react and sat on it for a few days before approaching both of them and saying that I can’t have them raising a baby in my home. \n\nI basically support both of them at this stage, letting them use their own money (again, not much) for leisure things like movies or video games. I asked them how they plan on paying for a baby and they didn’t think it was a big deal. I imagine if the baby comes I’ll probably end up paying for all 3 of them. \n\nIn the end I told both of them that they can stay with me until the baby comes, but I don’t want a baby in my home and the huge amount of responsibility that will probably fall to me. My sister cried and her bf accused me of being two faced, because they have nowhere else to go. I offered to help them pay rent for the first few months and budget for them but they’re resistant. My sister is now saying I’m essentially forcing them to give up their baby by kicking them out. I feel bad but I feel like if this keeps going I’ll be supporting an entire family on my own for who knows how long. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They will get an additional SSI payment for the baby. And they qualify for subsidized housing, but they'll probably have to get on a list, so they should get on that. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nMy parents are divorced. They've really been fighting a lot, and they fight a lot about material possessions.\n\nTry and one up each other getting me things, but also try to force me to leave them behind when I go to the other's houses, like they want their houses to be the best ones with the best things. Argue if I come home from the others house with things dirty or misplaced accusing the other of purposely stealing or destroying things.\n\nIt's ridiculous and it seems like a power play between them. And I'm sick of fighting over THINGS. Damn pieces of plastic or metal or whatever should not have this power over us.\n\nSo I told both my parents that THINGS that they fight about don't bring me happiness, they bring me sadness. And if there's any fighting or petty anger about a thing, I'm gonna give it away or throw it away because I'm sick of my life being ruled by stuff.\n\nI won't take gifts anymore because they always come with terms and drama\n\nAnd I have been doing it. I've gotten rid of most of what I own because of this pettiness. I really just have the bare minimum at each house. Both my parents had banned me from giving or throwing anything else away so now I've just picked a closet in each house that things go into, and once they're in they don't come out. If my parents try and take them out I put them back.\n\nIt's made me happier. No more fights about which parent \"stole\" a thing when that thing is gone. I don't have to remember as much about what I can take from house to house and what has to stay at one house so I won't start a fight\n\nBut both my parents are resentful of me for my switch in attitude. My mom is mad that I don't do some of my hobbies anymore and my dad is mad that I gave away things that he paid for.\n\nAITA for giving up as many possessions as I can? ######","completion":" NTA. They were using the objects as a powerplay against each other. They were trying to make you pick a side with shiny objects. Good on you for rising above it. I hope you can  slowly get some things back for the hobbies you care about. ######"}
{"prompt":"English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people\n\nAnd yes there is a post in r\/advice speaking about my problem \n\nI (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.\n\nOne day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son” \n\nI didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.\n\nFast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby\nI was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true) \nShe told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever \n\nToday i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box \n\nMy cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)\nAnd i was like yeah sure \nAnd then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on\n\nAfter the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left\n\nWell they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######","completion":" NTA. They were trying to outright force you to do it. That's not ok and you totally have the right to refuse. Good luck on your exams! ######"}
{"prompt":"I've previously made a post in regards to the situation with my neighbors but the short version is that they used to be my friends mutually with my wife but when my wife and I had issues and she left me temporarily they told her she should take me for everything I'm worth.\n\nAfter finding out I decided to not have anything to do with them, well my child's birthday was this weekend and she really likes them so my wife asked me beforehand if it would be okay for them to come. I said it was fine but don't expect me to be all chit chatty with them and I would probably steer clear.\n\nThe day came and they never showed, I asked my wife how come they didn't come as I thought they were going to. She said that they know I hate them (I don't really hate them, I just don't want to associate with people who actively tried to harm me) that they noticed I won't even say hi to them anymore etc.\n\nI feel bad that they missed out on the birthday party putting aside my feelings towards them. They however haven't made any attempts at reconciliation with me regardless and to my understanding don't even recognize why I dislike them.\n\nSo AITA for this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. They were invited and choose not to come. Do they know that your wife told you they said to “take you for everything your worth?”. Regardless, I’m sure it puts both sides in an awkward spot.\n\nEdit: Changed ex-wife to wife and update slightly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds bad.  I feel bad about it but I don't think I should pay them more. \n\nHere's why:\n\n- I was never on the lease\n- I didn't pay any bond\n- I was sub renting\n- I gave them 10 workdays notice,  then paid for another 2,5 weeks to make it a month. \n- I communicated everything with them that they need to find another person\n- I made all the ads and pictures of the pace\n- I made a letter to the landlord stating due to xyz I cannot be in this country anymore and if the rent could be lowered.\n\nI was in this place for 3 months.  All went fine but then hell broke loose. I had to get back home since my family needed me. \nWhen my roommates (24 f &amp; m) heard this, they pushed me to get on the lease.\n\n \nFurthermore they were understanding, helping me by just talking and I made ads to find someone new.  I had several people coming by the place but they didn't get my room since they wanted someone long term (year+) and between 20-30.\n\nI had to catch a plane and put most of my stuff into storage. \n\nThey couldn't find anyone after 2 weeks and they asked me to transfer rent.  I told them I need to pay for 2 places now so I'll only do 2 weeks for you guys to find someone new.  They were grateful. \n\n2 weeks later they explode and expect me to keep on paying since they haven't found someone new. It would be my responsibility and they are calling me names now saying they might have to move now etc.\n\nI feel horrible for them but to be fair why would I pay for a place I haven't lived in for 3 weeks and I don't have any responsibility for?\n\nOne side I'm like maybe I should help them out even more.  But I'm out of a job and stuff is bad in my hometown now too.\nI need the money myself. ######","completion":" NTA. They were given adequate time to get another roommate or find other options. Yes it sucks, but they need to be posting the place up or figuring it out for themselves as well, you’ve done what you can to help them. Even going above & beyond paying those two weeks you gave them extra not living there. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go\/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22\/07\/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?\n\nSo really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######","completion":" NTA. They were fine with you not being able to attend before, why is it an issue now? You have prior plans\/engagements. It’s rude to make people move things around they already had planned\/set in motion just for a bachelorette party. It’s not like you’d be missing her wedding. Over dramatic if you ask me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the other night the girls parents were over at my house and I decided I would be somewhat of a nice person and make everyone a nice dinner even with the rocky past I have with them. (They don’t agree with me traveling for work a month at a time) \nWell whenever I would leave the living room to check on things in the kitchen I could hear snarky comments just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough so they could sound like they’re “trying” not to be heard. After about an hour of it my girlfriend told me what they were saying about me to her. I walked out of the kitchen and told them that they had to leave because I wasn’t going to be disrespected like that in my own home. My girl told me I could’ve handled it in a different way but I just couldn’t tolerate it in my own home aita? ######","completion":" NTA. They were being jerks and you don't accept that in your house. Have you talked to them about their dislike for your travelling beforehand? ######"}
{"prompt":"After I was born, my parents, who were drug addicts and have been arrested prior for petty crimes, we're seemed unfit parents and when I was an infant my grandparents were awarded full custody. \nI'm sixteen years old and my grandparents are practically my whole world. They have told me many times that if I wanted to reconnect with my mother and father that it was my decision and that they'd support me 100%, but I never wanted to. \n\nMy Mother recently reconnected with my grandparents (I've refused to talk to her) and she said she wanted to have at least partial custody of me. She also threatened that if my grandparents didn't help her resolve the situation peacefully, she was going to take them to court, and that's what ended up happening. Fortunately, since it was found that she wasn't in the position to care for me, and since I didn't want to live with her (my birth father, apparently, died a few years ago) she didn't get any custody or visitation.\n\nRight when we were leaving the courthouse, the last time I saw her, she told me I was selfish for not letting my grandparents live the rest of their lives son peace without having to care for an ungrateful grandson. It hurt and so I stormed off, but I've been thinking about it ever since- am I TA for not letting my grandparents enjoy their silver years? ######","completion":" NTA. They WANTED you. Never forget that. If they didn't, they would not only have not raised you all those years, but they wouldn't have fought for you in court presently. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother was no saint. She had her demons like the rest of us but hers put up more of a fight. In her previous marriage she went through a bad drug addiction and did a lot of damage to her ex husband and their kids, Duncan (36M) and John (34M), who were still teenagers at the time. \n\nLong story short she ran off with another addict (my father) and had me. Wasn't an easy childhood but soon enough my mother picked herself up again and started working on being better. When I was 9, she finally built up the strength to leave my and take me with her. We were broke and homeless so she went to ask Duncan and John for help. I remember her going on her knees asking Duncan to take us in and John throwing us out. Calling her a slut and an addict. That night we slept in the streets but still my mother tried another three times to reconcile and mend things but they never cared.\n\nLast year my mother got a heart attack and almost died. She was diagnosed with CAD. I messaged my *brothers* about her condition. Their response? \"We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us\". Well she died earlier this year from after a period of rapid heart attacks. I told myself fuck them and I buried my mother at an intimate gathering with her close friends and my wife. \n\nRecently my wife had been asking me to send them a letter so they at least know she's no longer with us. So I did. Well now the both of them have completely lost their shit sending me dozens of messages about how fucked up I am from keeping their mother's death from them and sending threats about how they're going to take 'legal action' against me so I should be prepared. My wife says she wouldn't go as far as calling me an asshole but I probably should have told them sooner. So AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. They told you to stop contact, and you did. That choice was theirs. They could have seen she had changed and made an attempt to have you both in their lives, even if she hurt them. Sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to have some good memories with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've just come home from spending a long weekend with my family for the first time since the pandemic. I usually go see them once a month but for obvious reasons I haven't been there since Feb. \nNow, for some back story. I come from a single parent household. It's always been my mum, my sister(20f) and I(24f). \nEver since I can remember, I've always been the fat sister. My younger sister has always been beautiful and fit and I have always been compared to her. \nA while back I went into a bit of a rough time with depression and I gained a lot of weight. Since the lockdown started I have been dieting and exercising, I have been really happy and have set myself a goal to be on my healthy weight by August next year, everything is going according to plan, I have told my family this but they still insist on making me feel like \"the fat one\" even though there are so many other aspects of me as a person, I feel like I will never be anything more than \"the fat one\" I came home and my mum (who is very religious) started sending me bible quotes and telling me that I clearly don't love myself, and that I'm going to die of a heart attack soon. \nWhile my sister spent the whole weekend shaming me for every single bite I took. \nAfter my mum's messages I told her that I loved her but I was going to take a step back from them as I felt like the whole dynamic is turning very toxic and I can feel myself slipping back into that depressed person that I worked so hard to put behind. So I left the family group chat and now everyone is angry at me. They say they are only looking out for me but I can't help but think that's just not the case. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They sound like toxic people. You should be able to separate yourself from them as much as you need to. Props to you for living a healthier lifestyle! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a long time ago - when I was about 14 and on a family holiday to a holiday park kind of place (Center Parcs for anyone in Europe). When I was a young teenager, I was kinda chubby and didn’t get much attention from boys like some of my friends did. \n\nSo anyway, one Valentine’s Day, my family wrote a fake card from a ‘secret admirer’ guy asking me to meet him at a the central place (where all the bars and restaurants etc are). Straight away I thought it was BS and laughed it off saying yeah whatever. Well over the course of the day, my whole family (mum, stepdad and sister) basically convinced me it was real, promising they didn’t send it and just genuinely trying to convince me to go to the place we were supposed to meet. Eventually, I thought I’d just go when my younger sister said she’d come with me and we’d just hang out in the area. I wasn’t completely convinced but was convinced enough to go. \n\nSure enough, we get to the place, hang out for a bit and no one shows. All of a sudden, my mum and stepdad show up and they all start laughing saying it was a prank. I tried to laugh along but obviously I was completely humiliated. I think the worst part is that they still occasionally bring it up and laugh about it. Recently, I told them I thought it was a horrible thing to do and I actually don’t find it funny at all. They all make out I’m being being an asshole and can’t take a joke or that I’m too sensitive. \n\nSo, AITA in the sense that I should just get over it? ######","completion":" NTA. They sound like horrible people. ######"}
{"prompt":"I typed this on my phone, so sorry if I make any mistakes lol.\n\nI do a lot of freelance work through instagram, work that consists of editing photos and videos. I am entering my junior year in high school, so this is how I make my own money. I do get a lot of clients, and I have frequent clients who come back constantly.\n\nI had this one client who started up their youtube channel. I designed their logo, banner, and I edit all of their videos and make all of their thumbnails. I worked with them for almost a year and got paid about 500 dollars or so. Back in March, they asked for me to edit some videos of theirs (they record a couple in advance and upload them as soon as they receive the final version), but the problem was that because of COVID, they didn't have their paycheck yet and they were asking if they could pay later. I usually never do this but I said okay, since I have been working with them for a while now. Then in March, the same problem happened. Me being stupid said sure. In the end I edited about 12 videos, and made 12 thumbnails. I woke up the next day and they blocked me. They stole my work and uploaded it and they didn't pay me.\n\nI was livid. I used to do free work and I stopped because the feeling of not being compensated for hard work is just horrible. One time, their internet was down so they asked me to upload this video I had edited. They gave me their Gmail email and their password that time. So, I turned on my computer and I logged in. They didn't have a 2FA setup, so I linked my phone number and I changed the password. I hid their youtube account (so it's not completely gone), and I sent them fifty cents through CashApp and told them if they didn't pay me what I deserved I would delete it.\n\nFast forward a few days, I get a notification from my CashApp, that I got paid, and they unblocked me from Instagram, and dm'd me. I disabled 2FA, unhid their youtube channel, and gave them their account back. I blocked them right after. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They sound like cheats and thieves, and you did the right thing to get your money without causing further harm to anyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty much every time I go out I see numerous people wearing masks incorrectly in ways that make the masks completely useless. Most commonly having the mask only covering their mouth and not their nose. This seems like common sense, you breathe through your nose so the mask needs to also cover your nose. \n\nThe worst is when its food places, a local ice cream place, the coffee shop, fast food, etc. \n\nWIBTA for reporting these employees? ######","completion":" NTA. They shouldn't be wearing their masks incorrectly during a pandemic and people should know. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I are twins and both got $100 for Christmas and get $100 for our birthdays, and that is the only money we get without working. I worked part time at a local deli and my sister worked on and off at a movie theater. My parents then bought my sister a prom dress for $300, after telling me to get a pc I would have to use my own money. She didn’t do anything to get it, it’s not like she got straight As or made a sports team.\n\nThey said they would return it afterwards, but she’s getting to keep it and not have to pay because they don’t want to due to corona virus. But I still have to work for the pc, which I can’t even do because of corona, even though I was essential. They made me quit.\n\nI said it was unfair that she got $300 for no reason and my parents said that prom is special for girls and that because she missed it’s only fair she keeps the dress. I would have gone as well, I have a girlfriend. I brought it up again today and they told me to stop being rude about it(I was polite). My sister then rubbed it in my face.\n\nAm I going nuts? This isn’t fair right? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. They not only did they drop $300 on one kid and not the other based on a sexist assumption, but they also made you quit your job, thus losing you your only source of income. They are horrible people. ######"}
{"prompt":"So Let me start off by saying that I am in the 8th grade and my sister is in the 11th\n\n\nSince online class has started I have been struggling with the work load, combined with other tutoring lessons I usually have to work into the weekend which does not please my parents at all, which I understand because then I can’t do other stuff like hiking or doing walks with them.\n\n\nIt was all fine until they sat me down one afternoon to tell me that I was not meeting my expectations that they have set for me and that I should be working harder like my sister. Who has her work done in the first 3 days of getting the assignment. They carried on repeating themselves about how I should be more like my sister and all that.\n\n\nThis occurred about 1 month ago and since then they have been constantly telling me to work harder like my sister. Until I finally just snapped yesterday, I started to break down with tears forming in my eyes and I started saying\n“ Stop fucking comparing me to my sister, please!”.\n\nI know I probably went overboard for that but it was all the emotion that I had built up over this time and I know I probably am the ass hole , but I just want more opinions on this. \n\nCurrently I have still not had another long interaction since yesterday but I hope we can settle since soon.\n\nAlso sorry I know formatting is bad, sorry for that I’m on phone. Also I know it’s not as good as the others on here but I just needed to talk,\nThank you for reading. ######","completion":" NTA. They need to realize that what they are doing is more harmful than good. Don’t be discouraged because many people have a hard time with online studying. You will make it through this 😄 ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, this is a weird one.\n\nI've been having major cabin fever recently, working from home and generally being stuck at home, especially when the weather has been warming up. \n\nGetting outside helps a lot but I've mainly stayed in my own yard. I have a hammock up between two trees and I've slept in there at night under the stars. It's nice, it's peaceful, and it makes me feel a lot less like a rat in a cage nowadays. \n\nI know it's weird but I enjoy it. It is peaceful and helps me destress after work.\n\nBut my neighbors are bothered by it, they said it is weird, they don't want someone sleeping outdoors near where their kids play. They don't like me being out there so much because their family has less privacy, and it would be better if I stayed in the house at night.\n\nI said I don't pay them any attention, I am just doing something relaxing to stay sane because my work and other things have made me stressed.\n\nAITA for wanting to keep sleeping outdoors? ######","completion":" NTA. They need to get over themselves. You're in your own backyard, and while it may be uncommon behavior, you're not doing anything wrong. If they want more privacy, they can put up a fence, plant trees, close their blinds\/curtains, whatever. It's on them.\n\nETA: My response is based on the assumption that you have your own backyard that's separate from your neighbors' property. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, \n\nSo I run a shop with a big window in a very busy street. For the last month, a dog has been pooping around the area of my shop, and the owners do not pick up after it. I've had my suspicions about who it was, and got visual confirmation last week.\n\nThe day after I got visual confirmation, I caught them again in the act, and snapped a picture of them. I then confronted them about it, and they basically told me to mind my own business.\n\nSo I got their picture blown up and printed with the title THESE PEOPLE DON'T PICK UP THEIR DOG'S POOP, IF YOU'VE WALKED IN POOP THEY ARE TO THANK, and stuck the poster in the window of my shop.\n\nI've been having a lot of amused comments by my customers, but the people in the picture have gone insane, and have come by the shop many times to scream at me. I told them untill they change their attitude the poster is staying up.\n\nRegarding the law, I'm not too sure what side I'm on, but not picking up their dog's poop is def illegal and can carry a hefty fine where I live (France), so I dobt they'll pursue legal action.\n\nSome of my friends have said i'm an AH for publicaly shaming them. The way I see it they brought this upon themselves.\n\nSo reddit, AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. They let their dog shit IN PUBLIC and didn't pick it up. Why would they expect to be shamed in private for that. \n\nAlso, hilarious move on your part. 👏👏👏 ######"}
{"prompt":"So in the UK the minimum hourly wage is based on age. For an 18-21 year old, me, it’s £6.45 however for a 25+ it’s around £8.50. \n\nBecause of this low wage and working 30 hours (26.5 with breaks) a week at a crappy minimum wage retail job I only make about £170 a week. £680 a month. £8,160 a year. That doesn’t take into account being sent home early, unpaid sick days ect ect. So I’m about £4,000 short annually to pay taxes. \n\nTwo weeks ago my boss was complaining that taxes were going to be going up because the government is paying out furloughs. She asked me what I thought about paying more tax next year and I said:\n\n“I don’t earn enough to pay taxes, so it won’t really be my problem.” \n\nShe stood there confused and said:\n\n“Oh but you’ll be paying taxes some day.”\n\nSo I quickly replied with:\n“If I keep this job and the same hours I won’t be paying taxes for the next 7 years because I earn that little at this job. I’m not complaining about not paying taxes but it just shows how little this job pays me.\n\nMy boss stood there god smacked, gritting her teeth at me, and didn’t know what to say. \n\nA week later, last Saturday, I got called into the managers office where I was confronted by my manager, the assistant manager and the operations director of the company. To which I was verbally ganged up on by the three of them. All because I offended my manager by complaining about how little I get paid and that I should be great full to even have a job in the first place. I just sat there and took it for half an hour. \n\nEventually I got fed up of this and walked out of the shop and my shift. \n\nSo AITA here? I know I talked back to my manager ######","completion":" NTA. They know they pay you very little, and while they probably don't like being confronted the way they reacted to that is really over the top. You made a fair point, while maybe not the most diplomatically brought point :) ######"}
{"prompt":"So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation. \n\nMy family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making. \n\nOn one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel. \n\nNext month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ######","completion":" NTA. They have you so convinced that you were a burden that you say you understand them resenting you for having seizures. That is awful. You deserve for people who love you to support you and help take care of you. They also clearly think you were faking it, which is gross. \n\nI think you’d be justified in going very low contact and if they ask why, have an email waiting in drafts that you wrote while calm about their lack of support and love when you needed it most. \n\n\nI sincerely hope your wife’s family is better to you guys and that you are able to start a happy new healthy life. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a senior in HS. In December one of my classmates got into a bad car accident that did a lot of damage. She had several surgeries, and is in need of more for her face. Her insurance won’t cover it, hence the GoFundMe. \n\nI was never friendly with this girl. She spread nasty rumors about a friend of mine, and I always had a tainted view of her. Outside of that incident I never talked to her, and didn’t know she knew that I existed. \n\nSo my classmates are sending around a GoFundMe and a link to T-shirts for sale and I see that my artwork has been used! \n\nMy artwork has nothing to do with her cause, it was a Picasso style self portrait that was an assignment for class. I posted it to twitter. They were using it on T-shirts and in promotions without my permission.\n\nI got into contact with the girl and her friend who is running everything and asked them to take my artwork off of their GoFundMe. At first they said that they didn’t know it was mine, and would credit me (they cropped my siggy our though...) I told them that I didn’t want it credited and preferred it to be taken down. \n\nThe told me they already had T-shirts, people recognized it for her GoFundMe. I honestly didn’t care. Then they started guilt tripping me about it, and I told them I would go through other means to get it taken down. \n\nThen the girl posts screenshots of our DMs on her twitter, directing people at me, and telling them how heartless I am. I am getting tons of hate messages, and people telling me to just “let her use my shorty artwork.” I can’t even open up any social media without fear of getting shitty messages from my classmates.\n\nI talked to my mom about it and she thinks I should have just kept quiet about it as it’s hard not to look like an asshole for refusing to let her use the image. I’m feeling pretty confused, because I think I have the right to say where my artwork goes. AITA for not letting her use my art? ######","completion":" NTA. They even cropped out your signature! ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought\/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ######","completion":" NTA. They can buy their own stuff. You’re very nice to think of your roommates (whom you barely have a relationship with), but you shouldn’t have to re-buy everything.\n\nAlso, if you’re not planning to move in with your gf for like 2 years, that’s a ways a way, and I think you’re putting the cart before the horse to even be worrying about this right now since it sounds like you’ll have different roommates by then anyways. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.\n\nAfter talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on. \n\nMy sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank. \n\nThey both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.\n\nNone of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.\n\nAs for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.\n\nIf they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######","completion":" NTA. They asked for a huge favor and then tried to dictate the terms of it and push back your boundaries. That’s a red flag and suggests their entire tenure in your driveway would be spent with them finding ways to be in your house, in your way and in your wallet. If they don’t like the terms of your offer they’re free to take another one. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sister: sis\nBrothers-in-law: bil \nMe \n\nI am renting a room in their home and am paying the agreed amount of rent on time. Some info about my sis and bil. They recently had a baby and have another on the way. They are in financial problems because they are constantly updating the house. New flooring, new granite counters, added an addition, etc. additionally, they owe a ton of money to their credit card companies because they are huge spenders. \n\nNow they need more money and are pressuring me to pay them more than the agreed amount. They can barely pay their mortgage and sometimes pay it late. Also they have been eating my food, using my supplies (toilet paper, soap,etc), I help with my niece and cleaning.\n \non top of everything I have been watching my niece for free for hours. We are all in the medical field. So 12 hour shifts, 3-5 days a week depending on the OT available. So when I watch my niece, I am watching her for 12+ hours, 3 days a week. I haven’t mentioned payment becuase we are family. \n\nBut now we are regularly fighting due to Covid workload stress and me being upset about my prepped food being taken. I’m trying to be supportive becuase they are my family but I feel unsafe whenever they threaten to evict me. I don’t have a back up plan right now.\n\nSo we are all stressed out for various reasons. AITA for fighting with them at all? Should I be more supportive during this unprecedented time? I feel like I am being taken advantage of here. ######","completion":" NTA. They are seriously taking advantage of you here. It sounds like they need your rent check pretty badly, and they need your help around the house and babysitting even more. You are doing way more than is fair to ask of you and they are definitely AHs in return. These times are hard for everyone including you, do not feel the need to take on more than you already are. You sister and BIL should think you are a saint for all that you already do and put up with. ######"}
{"prompt":" My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the \"plandemic\" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other \"conspiracy\" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. These YouTube videos were spreading false information that people might use to do dangerous things. You reported it, YouTube agreed, it got taken down. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I tell you the story I will say I don't have an issue with people believing what they want. With that said, on with the story.\n\nBefore the lockdown I was sitting on my SIL's doorstep talking and a van pulled into our shared driveway (Rural community). A woman got out with a little girl (about 4 or 5). The woman asked if we had thought about what happens after we die. I immediately said, \"Thank you but neither of us is interested in converting.\" I would never speak for my sister in law normally but I knew her thinking on religion and that she has even less filter than I do, so figured since I am the more diplomatic, I should respond.  The woman said ok but then asked if her daughter could read us a verse out of the bible. I had just told her we weren't interested and now I'm irritated but when it comes to kids I have a real soft spot and hate to disappoint them or hurt their feelings if I can avoid it. I looked at my SIL and she just nodded. I said alright and the little girl read the verse (can't remember for the life of me) and thanked her then asked the woman to send her daughter back to the van. Once the little girl got into the van, I looked at the woman and berated her for using her little girl like that and how dare she not accept a no from us after we politely declined. I also told her to never show her face on my property again and to get out (I never swore or threatened her in any way). I then went to the nearest Kingdom hall and told them about it and told them I wanted my address put on the no contact list and that I would tell the next JW that shows up to go away in less than polite wording. \n\nAITA for reacting like that. ######","completion":" NTA. Theres nothing wrong with people asking you if you are interested in hearing about their faith, but this woman refused to take your polite no for an answer and tried to use her daughter to get you to listen, which is not okay. Since she was on your SIL property I think It's your right to tell her off for that. It was good\/nice of you to make sure the daughter was back in the van first so she wouldn't hear what you had to say to the mother. Let's hope they won't bother you again, or if they do that a polite no tells them off. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if the title makes no sense, but I’ll do my best to explain it. \n\nSo basically, my friends dad always comments on things in my life but makes it like things only happen to me because I’m gay. Here’s an example: I’m studying law, her dad said that I’m studying law because “gay people like fucking bad boys” - meaning I only want to be a lawyer so I can have sex with clients. I currently have a cold sore, he said it's because I'm always sucking dick. If he finds out I'm reading a book, he'll tell her that it's \"probably a gay porno mag\". It's stupid stuff like that. \n\nBut it really annoys me. At first, it didn't, but then it didn't stop. I also don't know why my friend tells him this stuff - like me reading a book isn't something worth telling your family about. She's told me that \"he's not homophobic, he just doesn't like seeing it.\" (I know that's an assholish thing to say, that's not what I want to know). \n\nIn retaliation, I've ended up saying stuff back like \"your dad is just sad that I didn't represent him when he was in trouble with the law,\" \"I got the cold sore from him, he should probably get an STI check,\" or like \"I thought I recognised your dad on the cover of the magazine?\". He doesn't find it funny, and he calls me a dick head, or a \"poof\". My friend also knows I don't like people commenting on my sexuality, or people talking about me when I'm not there. \n\nAITA for flipping his comments to make him sound gay too? ######","completion":" NTA. Theres no such thing as \"not being homophobic but not liking seeing it AND harassing someone for it.\" He got what we deserved. HE'S the one with the problem. If he doesn't like those jokes towards him, he shouldn't have made them.\n\nStay strong! ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a weird one, sorry in advance. This was 5 months ago and it’s still a fight my bf and I are having. Clearly since pregnancy and miscarriages aren’t easy topic for people to talk about, I’ve come here. \n\nI (27F) was about 6 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding really heavily randomly. To cut a long story short - I was miscarrying. Didn’t know I was pregnant, wasn’t upset about it. It was really whatever. I have no intention of children, I guess the shot failed me.\n\nThey sent me home from the hospital after a mental health check to make sure I was okay. Like I said, wasn’t upset about it, didn’t bother me much besides the physical pain obviously. They gave me the pill that helps to move the process along faster at home instead of waiting. When I was at home and sitting on the toilet, I felt it like fall out. So I just kind of look at for awhile and said “I didn’t think I would be able to see it!” (it was in the sac I think?) My boyfriend then said “stop being so fucking weird about this.” He then accused me of wanting to KEEP IT. When I said “it’s just curiosity, this is new to me too.” He stormed off and said he doesn’t want to be with someone who could be so heartless as not to care about this and treat “him” like a science project. \n\nI asked him if he wanted to be pregnant or have kids and he said no but I should “respect” his kid more than that. I told him it’s happening to me and we just feel different about it. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive, I said sorry at the time but he hasn’t let it go. \n\nWas I the asshole? It was something that was just happening to me and I was curious about it. He’s never hinted he’s wanted to kids or pro life of anything so this attitude is new to me. ######","completion":" NTA. there’s no playbook on how you’re supposed to react to a miscarriage it’s a deeply personal experience. Your boyfriend is being immature and weirdly possessive. It just kind of creeped me out how he said you should have more respect for “his kid” like it wasn’t also a part of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a non identical twin brother named Justin. I'm under no illusion that he's the better looking between us. He's a great guy if not a bit philandering.\n\nSince we were bored yesterday, we video called my friend Jay and his wife and we just caught up with each other over a couple glasses of wine. We eventually got to playing this game where someone asks a question and we all answer. I asked everyone who their cheat pass (someone you would cheat with if allowed) is and everyone gave celebrities crushes as expected, except my loving wife. She first asked about specifics. Whether it was just a one time thing, the whole night or a fling. We all agreed on whole night and then she blurted \"Then Justin! Omg we'd fuck all night long\". We all broke into laughter because we thought she was talking about Justin Bieber. \n\nJay then made a comment about Timberlake being better than Bieber and my wife clarified that she actually meant my brother. Like wtf? Obviously things got awkward so they ended the call and we got into a fight over it. She said I shouldn't be angry because I was the one who asked her and now I'm judging her truthful answer. I spent the night in the guest room and even this morning she was completely unapologetic and said I should be the one apologizing for being an ass last night and \"judging her truth\". Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. There’s an unspoken rule that you name a celebrity, or some other person you’d definitely never actually be able to do it with, not *a relative of someone else who is there and definitely not your brother in law*. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the past two years I’ve brought up wanting to meet my (35f) boyfriend’s (32m) best friend a couple times (“I want to meet so-and-so”, and “so when am I going to meet so-and-so?”) and the responses were, respectively, nothing, and “whenever”. Since then I’ve fought about it with him twice and the latest one he told me I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and suggested meeting his friend would “mean something about our relationship,” which, in the end, is true. \n\nI feel like I’m not good enough to meet his friend, that he’s embarrassed of me or maybe he’s embarrassed of his friend (?), that he’s hiding that part of his personality, that he’s ashamed of me, that I’m not good enough, and so on. Maybe he thinks I’ll embarrass him with my being a total idiot? On and on, this is just a slice of the thoughts I have about it. \n\nMy bf is very private and likes a lot of space and distance. He doesn’t like talking about himself. The only people in his life who even know I exist are his mom and her husband, and not because we were intentionally introduced. (Met them on our one year anni) \n\nAm I overreacting? Is this not really a big deal at all? I know my feelings are valid, but not sure my perspective is... TIA ######","completion":" NTA. There's very few instances where this would be acceptable conduct.  This isn't one of them. I'd stay away from anyone that requires that excessive amount of space after 2 years of a relationship. Emotionally distant people aren't for everyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24M) still live at home, I'm aiming to move out within the next two years.\n\n\n\nMy sister (18F)  usually lives with my dad but has been spending more time with us, shes been with her boyfriend for 3 years, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2.\n\n\nMy mother is obsessed with the idea of having a grandchild, she wont stop talking about it with me and my girlfriend but we dont want children.\n\nSo, she turned the \"joke\"  onto my sister.\n\nShe brings it up every chance she can.\n\nWe were eating dinner last night when my mother once again said \"so when are you giving me a grandson *sisters name*?\" \n\nThis wouldn't be a problem if she wasnt sending my sisters childrens names and if she was joking, she tries to pass it off as a joke but we can tell shes being serious.\n\nMy sister genuinely feels pressured, she doesnt have a backbone though so wont complain.\n\nI snapped at my mother and told her to back tf off, she isnt getting a grandchild from either of us anytime soon and maybe she should focus on parenting her son (10) instead of this BS.\n\nShe didnt react but later on we heard her crying about it to our dad.\n\nMy father texted me and my sister telling us if we cant take a joke and will be disrespectful we both know where the door is and can leave at anytime, and that we are assholes for being oversesnsitve and that I could've let my sister deal with it (she really doesnt like arguments)\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There's nothing funny about pressuring someone to have a child, especially an 18 yo. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (25m) and my fiance (29f) are renting the house we live in from my mom (51f) with no written rental agreement. My mom wants us to assume the mortgage from her and we live here for the next 17 years until the mortgage is paid off. \n\nThe problem is that fiance and I both have to travel an hour or more to work and mom is using the house as her personal storage unit. Also the house needs a lot of work done to it because whoever added the additions to the house did a terrible job. We don't want to live in the house because we don't have room for our stuff and it is causing our relationship to have unnecessary arguments. \n\nWe want to live closer to work especially since I have to be to work at 5am. Whenever we say anything to mom about moving she replies \"you won't ever find a better deal than what I'm offering, assuming the mortgage is your best option to own your own house.\" The last time I mentioned moving she said \"how can I afford my camper if you move?\" \n\nSo reddit WIBTA if fiance and I move? ######","completion":" NTA. There's no written agreement and you are not responsible for your mother's camper. ######"}
{"prompt":" My roommates (21-22F) and I (21F) were tanning in our backyard when my neighbor (N) peeked over our fence to ask about the beehive he found near our garage. Right then, beekeepers (B1\/B2) showed up and asked to use our driveway so I left to move my car.\n\nN and B1 then started making sexual comments about my roommate (R) saying they’re only here to \"look at the view\" and that her bathing suit was \"too skimpy\". When I came back, my roommates told me what happened and how both men scoffed when R called them out.\n\nMy roommates begged me to not say anything but I was pissed. I told the men \"The comments you made were not okay. You made a group of young women feel so uncomfortable they no longer feel safe in their own backyard. I don't care if you *think* you did nothing wrong, at the end of the day you made comments towards a 21 year old girl that made her feel unsafe. You would be pissed if some stranger did this to your daughter so learn from your mistakes and don't do it again.\"\n\nN and B1 tried to apologize but they said “sorry if my words were misconstrued” and I kinda lost my shit. I said \"I won’t accept an apology in which you take NO responsibility for your actions. You know what you said and you know it's wrong. I don't care you're from a different generation, you know making sexual comments towards a 21 year old is gross. Think about your behavior, understand why it was wrong, and never do it again.\"\n\nI'm concerned I took it too far by denying their apologies. My dad said I should have let it go sooner and not pushed the issue. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There was no apology to accept because there was no apology given. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my (16F) mom (50) told me that she recorded me singing in the shower from outside the door. Later, one of her friends was over and asked me if I would sing. My mom said that she showed him the video. I didn't say much then, but today, I brought it up and told her she shouldn't record me without my permission or send it to other people. \n\nShe almost immediately started screaming at me, saying she never said anything about showing someone else, and that she recorded it for herself because I never sing for her when she asks. It seems like a pretty big deal to her. I get the feeling now she's going to be mad at me for the next few weeks. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There something in the air? Lots of moms absolutely losing their shit at their kids for absolute jack lately. ######"}
{"prompt":"So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he says around us to anyone else, but he didn't listen.\n\nSure enough my brother was \"exposed\" on a girl's Instagram story with screenshots of him saying racist things in a chat with his friends. Since the girl that posted the screenshots was in my grade my family asked me to talk to her and get her to take it down since it may \"ruin my brothers college acceptance.\" I told my family no and that he needs to be publicly ridiculed since nothing that I've said was going to get through to him.\n\nThen the post spread and now practically everyone has seen the message and has been messaging me about it saying things like \"wow I can't believe your brother is so racist\" and \"wow how can you let him say things like this.\" In response I posted something saying how I do not condone his actions and am deeply disappointed. \n\nNow my brother says that I am \"dead to him\" and my family won't talk to me because I didn't back my brother and \"betrayed the family.\" I've asked my brother to sit and talk with me about it but he's refusing to and saying that I've done too much damage and that he doesn't want to speak to me again.\n\nMy mom keeps telling me that I need to apologize to him in order to make the family \"begin to heal\" but I don't feel as though I'm in the wrong.\n\nShould I apologize? Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. There should never be any sympathy for racists; especially for one who refuses to get educated on the issue ######"}
{"prompt":"So...like, in my mind I don't think I'm an asshole but my family is treating me like I have disowned my father for this so here goes: \n\nAround 2017, I cut all of my hair off. All of it. I stopped getting relaxers and let my hair go natural because I really wanted to try it, and I LOVE it. I have kept my hair short and proper since, and I feel a lot more freer with my hair in it's natural, healthy state. \n\nMy father, on the other hand, HATES it. Like, despises it. Everytime he has seen me, for like the past year or so, he has to comment on my hair. I've always been nice about it, laughed off his jokes about it, and kind of shrugged them off, but I'm going to be honest, it's started to piss me off. \n\nToday, I walked into the room where he was, and the first thing he says to me is: \"When are you going to let your hair grow out and get a relaxer?\" Y'all, I'm on my period and I'm cramping so I just let him have it. I told him that I have agency over my own body and that I like the style so I'm not changing it. He looked at me and laughed, then mocked me like a three year old. He was like \"You don't have to be rude,\" and I'm like, \"I'm not being rude, I just don't like you talking about my body and my hair choices. I don't tell you what to do with your hair.\" He looked over at my mom and was like \"Why is she so rude?\" and she told me that \"I wasn't being nice\" and I just...I don't know what to think? He says things about my weight and stuff sometimes too and I very rarely say anything to him but the one time I defend myself...I'm the asshole? \n\nAm I really the asshole or am I just...being a bitch about it? ######","completion":" NTA. There is only so much badgering a person can take. Sorry he's being such a jerk. It sounds like you were firm and clear and probably pretty annoyed, but you stuck to stating that you found his behavior unacceptable and didn't attack him personally. That's completely reasonable and not rude, especially as a response to extremely rude behavior on his part.   \n\n\nI think the only other thing you can do now is just give him nothing to argue with. I'd just stick to \"I've explained that I'm not going to discuss this\" and leave the room \/ end the conversation \/ stop talking to him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm in a dilemma because I don't know if I'm acting like a bitch or if it's best to just keep my distance. I have a cousin that I was very close to growing up but is now, to plainly state the truth, nothing more than white trash. \n\nShe has never left her parents house but has continued to produce children for her mom to care for. She's my age and doesn't have a tooth left in her fucking head. She's been arrested numerous times for theft and drug offenses, including meth as well as pain pills. She's no longer welcome in my home because she steals every goddamn thing she can lay her hands on. \n\nEvery time I try to help her I'm taken advantage of. As in like, stealing from me, borrowing money and not paying it back, or bumming rides from me, which I started refusing because what if I get pulled over and she has drugs in her possession, in my car? And furthermore, I don't really care to be seen in public with and associated with such a person. \n\nI don't know if I'm being a snotty bitch riding her high horse and looking down on her and others like her or if I'm justified in wanting nothing more to do with her. I try not to judge people but she did it to herself. I'm tired of being stolen from and used. ######","completion":" NTA. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself and your immediate family from such a person. You also do not have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She doesn't want help yet, so anything done at this point outside if getting her to rehab is enabling her poor decisions and it is ok to choose to not support her lifestyle. \n\nPeople rarely tell you that the \"tough\" part of tough love is not only on the person who needs the kick in the pants, but also on the one doing the kicking. They often get a lot of flack, especially because of faaaaaaaaaamily. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I am a behavioral therapist for autistic kids. And with COVID and everything going on, sessions have been moved around but haven’t stopped. I have this one kid who we will call John. John is 8 years old and very aggressive. My job with John is to help him understand simple things better like time, patience, social cues, etc. This kid had promise when I started, which was about a month before the pandemic. But as the pandemic continue, his behavior has gotten worse. Session is about 3 1\/2 hours. The moment I knock on the door I can hear “I DONT WANT TO DO SESSION!” Now, why doesn’t he want to do session? Because he wants to play roblox and fortnite. That’s all he wants to do. Watch YouTube videos about those games and to play them. It takes about 30-45 minutes to get him to calm down because he doesn’t want therapy. He wants to play roblox and fortnite on his xbox. And when we take it away, he will call his mom a bitch. \n\nNow his poor mother, I feel so bad for her. She just wants what’s best for her kid but all he does is abuse her. She tells me that it’s okay because he doesn’t understand but I can see it’s slowly killing her. She doesn’t sleep at all because every 30 minutes or so, the kid will wake her up in the middle of the night for whatever reasons. \n\nGoing through this with the kid every single session has started to get to me. I try my absolute best with all my kids, even my non verbals. I want to help them and make sure they are learning, but this kid. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m still doing therapy with him and I will still do what I normally do and try to help him but deep deep down I have given up on him. I feel guilty for feeling like this. So Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There is nothing wrong with admitting you can't help someone as a therapist, it doesn't matter that it is a child on the spectrum in this case. If you aren't able to help, the best thing you can do is admit it and help the mother find another therapist who can. You've done your best, it hasn't worked, time to let another therapist try. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?\n\nThis happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies. \n\nSo my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no \nsemen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed. \n\nI ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There is no situation in which anyone should force you to treat your abuser as family. Sorry you had to go through that! *hug* ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are new homeowners and moved into our first home a little less than a year ago. \n\nWe’ve had a rocky relationship with one of our neighbors from the start, an older couple— the husband is pretty chill and kind to us but the wife has been confrontational and made sure when we moved in that we knew exactly where our property ends and theirs begins. We’re in a city and our lots are about 2000 sqft each so we’re talking a matter of inches that she does not want us crossing. When we moved in, other neighbors on the street welcomed us and also warned us about her attitude and nastiness. Basically the point being that honestly I am intimidated by my neighbors and do not want to confront them directly. \n\nThey have a fire pit in their backyard that is roughly 20 feet from our house. The weather has been getting nicer so they have been using it for recreational use— just to have a fire going while sitting outside and chatting. Naturally being so close, the smoke comes right into our home so we can’t open windows and we can’t be outside in our own yard without being covered in smoke. It has even set off the smoke detectors in our house if any window is opened a crack. \n\nI checked our local laws and any fire pits require a permit and must be 75 ft away from any structure (which is impossible considering the size of our houses and our small yards), and can only be operated from January to May 1st. \n\nI called the fire department yesterday (anonymously) and within 5 minutes they were there and it was put out. I plan to call the fire department whenever their smoke gets into our house\/yard. According to local laws they will probably be fined and prohibited from having it entirely if there are multiple complaints. \n\nWIBTA for calling the fire department as many times as necessary to get my neighbors’ recreational fire pit shut down? ######","completion":" NTA. There is a good reason for those fire regulations and includes not letting them burn your house down. That’s it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister and her BF recently bought vapes. She bought hers for her own money and I don't care that she's vaping. What I care about, though, is that she vapes in our room (we share a room). So we've gotten in an argument about her vaping here. I really hate the fake fruit smell and it's giving me a headache. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. There are plenty of other places where she can vape without causing you discomfort. ######"}
{"prompt":"Got some degree of background, I (30F) was pregnant and miscarried. I now have to have the left over tissue removed from my body. I was only 9 weeks at the time, but I’m obviously hormonal and I’m sad.\n\nMy husband (31M) was never excited about the pregnancy. To be honest, it was unexpected. We have no other children and weren’t planning on it any time soon. \n\nI scheduled the appointment and asked if he was available during that time. He confirmed he was, but as the conversation continued he kept bringing up how he was trying to make plans with a friend who’s in from out of town for that evening. I told him I didn’t want to do that. \n\nHe still wants to go hang out with his friend. Am I just hormonal? Or is it reasonable to expect him to be a source of emotional support after that? He just saw this friend two weeks ago. ######","completion":" NTA. There are going to be drugs in your system and you Will not be in shape to socialize. Additionally, you may need help at home. \n\nThis is hardcore basic wedding vows stuff and he should tell his friend it's not a good time. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA?\nTLDR; husband can't stand tattoos and won’t let me get one- I’m about to just do it- but he might just break over it. \n\nHi, I’m F25 and my husband M25 have a good marriage, we’ve had normal marriage problems but I’d like to think we did a good job resolving them through good communication and positive change. (Four years)\n\nEvery few months though, we’ve been having the same fight. I want my first tattoo and he doesn't want me to get one at all. The solution here isn’t as easy as “ f him, be a free independent woman, it’s your body, ect”. \n\n1st problem is one of the positive changes in our marriage is me making an effort to make decisions together instead of alone. (ITA story below)\n2nd problem is we are both children from strict Mormon backgrounds- though we aren’t Mormon anymore- a lot of his issue is he was made to believe people with tattoos are trashy, immature and criminals.\n\nI’ve tried to compromise. On his end I can’t get one till I’m 30 (um, ok.. dad?). On my end, it’s got to be something small and where people can’t notice it easily. He thinks if I wait till 30 I won’t want one anymore because mature new moms don’t get first tattoos.\n\nI’m about ready to just do what I want where I want, but I’m also not ready to put a rift in our marriage again. AITA if I get one?\n\nTattoo: just a black, thin line contour of a violet, it’s stem and 1-3 leaves on the end behind my ankle bone.\n\nITA story: I really wanted a dog he never did- he told me no but told me I could still do it- but it was a feeling of betrayal when I chose to get a puppy. I admit it was selfish, but I wish it didn’t make him feel like I didn’t love him\/respect him. He resented me for three months even when he gained real love for that dog after one. ######","completion":" NTA. There are decisions that as a married couple, a partner is not allowed to make unilaterally. Finances, large purchases, etc. Anything in relation to your own body does NOT fall under that category. Wait until you're thirty? WTF? That is utterly ludicrous, condescending and frankly borderline misogynistic (like you need Daddy's permission as you said). You cannot control what another person wishes to do with their body. Haircuts, hair colors, piercings, tattoos, shaving preferences, cosmetics--these are interpersonal decisions only. The ONLY reason I could see someone saying 'hey let's think about this TOGETHER' is if for example your employer says 'no visible ink or you're fired' and you get a huge face tattoo OR if it is offensive like a swastika. Otherwise--your body, your choice, period. It is controlling--there is no other word for it--controlling to tell a partner what body modifications they can have unless the special circumstances I listed above. Then a spouse has a right to RAISE AN OBJECTION but ultimately the decision is YOURS ALONE.\n\nI cannot stress this enough--a partner, spouse, significant other CANNOT make a unilateral decision about **your** body. Only you can. For someone to try and overstep that boundary is very much getting into 'domestic control' territory. Nope. He cannot make that decision for you--he can only have an opinion about it.\n\nEdit: The puppy thing has no bearing as you are not asking about judgment for that. That is a TOGETHER decision, so you did wrong there, but you are not asking for judgment on that action, just your tattoo. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem.  \n  \nBonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######","completion":" NTA. Them trying to enforce their religious practices upon you makes them TA. ######"}
{"prompt":" My roommates (21-22F) and I (21F) were tanning in our backyard when my neighbor (N) peeked over our fence to ask about the beehive he found near our garage. Right then, beekeepers (B1\/B2) showed up and asked to use our driveway so I left to move my car.\n\nN and B1 then started making sexual comments about my roommate (R) saying they’re only here to \"look at the view\" and that her bathing suit was \"too skimpy\". When I came back, my roommates told me what happened and how both men scoffed when R called them out.\n\nMy roommates begged me to not say anything but I was pissed. I told the men \"The comments you made were not okay. You made a group of young women feel so uncomfortable they no longer feel safe in their own backyard. I don't care if you *think* you did nothing wrong, at the end of the day you made comments towards a 21 year old girl that made her feel unsafe. You would be pissed if some stranger did this to your daughter so learn from your mistakes and don't do it again.\"\n\nN and B1 tried to apologize but they said “sorry if my words were misconstrued” and I kinda lost my shit. I said \"I won’t accept an apology in which you take NO responsibility for your actions. You know what you said and you know it's wrong. I don't care you're from a different generation, you know making sexual comments towards a 21 year old is gross. Think about your behavior, understand why it was wrong, and never do it again.\"\n\nI'm concerned I took it too far by denying their apologies. My dad said I should have let it go sooner and not pushed the issue. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Their saying, \"Sorry YOU misconstrued the creepy things I said\" isn't an apology, and no one misconstrued anything. \n\nIt would have been creepy and inappropriate if they were 24 and stood there making those comments, let alone any other age. Just be careful. There are some pretty big weirdos in the world who don't like getting called out, no matter how justified it was. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######","completion":" NTA. Their lead foot was what caused them to get pulled over. Can't blame that on anyone else ######"}
{"prompt":"I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie. \n\nToday I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that. \n\nI called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.\n\nObviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.\n\nThey called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her). \n\nNow they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Their boredom is not your problem. You did what your mom wanted you to do. Your dad can get his own netflix account to entertain his friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 19F, I have a brother who is 22M. My Dad is a really complicated guy and incredibly difficult to get along with. My Dad and my Mom have a terrible relationship, I seriously feel like they hate each other. My Dad and I don’t have a great relationship either, especially because he said a lot of hurtful things to me when I was younger. My brother doesn’t talk to my Dad.\n\nMy Mom was talking to me about her favorite subject: my Dad, and how awful their relationship is, and how damaging the relationship has been to her. She said, “when you and your brother were much younger, I went to a therapist and talked about divorcing Dad. And the therapist told me that I was trapped in the relationship because I had children. I would have divorced him and had my own life if not for that.”\n\nThis kind of pissed me off. I don’t know what she was trying to say to me. I said, “how do you think I’m supposed to respond to that?” She acted confused and said, “I thought we were just having a conversation.” I don’t remember exactly what I told her after that but it was basically, “it’s not okay to openly tell me that my brother and I are responsible for your unhappiness.” Then I hung up. \n\nI don’t know how to feel after this fight. My Mom and I fight extremely rarely. AITA? Did I take it too personal? ######","completion":" NTA. The whole dynamic is messed up, actually. She's treating you as a friend with no part in the conflict while constantly telling you terrible things about your own father. And then, implicitly, she blames you for it, even though it was her choice to have children, not yours.  You were concise and direct and handled this really well, all things considered. ######"}
{"prompt":"Gonna keep this short.\n\nMy girlfriend called me a \"tan\" yesterday. She said it in a really joking way, mimicking that John Mulaney line (\"that's what I thought you'd say, you fucking tan\"), and it quite took me aback, because I knew her friends used words like that but she had mentioned her father found it tasteless so it surprised me that she used it. \n\nWhen I pulled her up on it, saying I didn't like that word, she justified it by calling it a joke and then said it was ironic I was trying to control the words she used to describe \"the oppressor\" and then finally said she couldn't help it if \"your tannery was so apparent\" or something? \n\nIt has become something of a recurring thorn in our relationship, given she often justifies not getting along with someone or finding it difficult to talk to them by saying they are \"too English\" for her to relate to them or labels petty frustrations as \"the Brits getting to me\". I get that they're jokes, but she just seems so dismissive and irritated towards all things \"tan\".\n\nI ended up asking her if she needed people to be just like her in order to get along with them, and in the course of our short discussion I ended up saying it sounded like she was a xenophobe. She's brought that up again quite a few times since and I get the impression I quite hurt her feelings, but honestly I think I was justified in what I said given the context and what she had just said. ######","completion":" NTA. The whole “is it or isn’t it racist\/xenophobic?” question isn’t really the point. We could debate that all day, and —let’s be real — this sub probably will. What is relevant is that your gf continues to insult and “joke” with you even after you get expressed that it’s hurtful to you, and then when you had a serious conversation about how those words made you feel, instead of listening, she made herself the victim. That’s not healthy relationship behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat. \n\nMy family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The vet said he is fine and that's what matters. Cats can be very good at begging for treats, mine will beg from anyone eating in a way that makes you think they haven't eaten in days, even when there is a bowl of cat food in the next room that they are ignoring. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.   \n\n\nBut he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.   \n\n\nI don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.   \n\n\nHe never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.   \n\n\nhe's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him. \n\nso, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. The title made it sound like a revenge thing, but it sounds like you've repeatedly given him opportunities to arrange pick up of the truck and, when that failed, warnings that you're going to leave it at the airport. If he's not an idiot, he'll contact you in the next 48 hours. If he is an idiot, you're NTA for following through. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 15 year old  boy with three siblings.  One of them is a girl. For the longest time me and my brothers 14 and 13 had to share a room and my sister always got her own separate room. The girl is 12 years old. Now that we are moving in with our mom new husbands my mom promised me that I would finally get my own room. \n\nThe other two boys are happy because they get more space and those boys are best friends. My sister is obviously gets her own room cause she is girl. So when we moved in we realized that it's a three bedroom house and my mom lied. Us boys are furious as we have to share the small room and my sister gets the second largest and my parents the master. The room is enough to fit us and our stuff has to go in the attic to make space.\n\nThis is a huge issue as none of us kids are going to have a proper area to study and we are fucked if one of us has a nightmare and screams in the middle of the night which was an issue in the past. I complained and tried asked my mom if we wear going to have at least the master bedroom in which she refused and told me it's my husband and mine room then told me that you should be grateful that you are having a place to stay and sleep as the homeless person don't even have a house to sleep in ######","completion":" Nta. The three boys should get the largest room, parents the second largest and sister the smallest. You mum is a complete ass for lying to you ######"}
{"prompt":"We need social work credits to continue our studies. I used to go to an autism centre every week to help around, and everything was ok until the pandemic started.\n\nHaving no way to access the usual centers, and school being online, the teacher that is in charge of the social work decided that instead of postponing some stuff, or even extending our second year’s social work a bit, we should all donate a pantry each.\n\nAnd I know it could help a lot of people. 100 pantries are a nice help... but many people can’t even afford their own food, their families not having a job because of quarantine. It doesn’t affect me as much, but it’s still quite a lot of money that is going out of my wallet, money which I could really use this quarantine.\n\nThey didn’t even consider other options for a second. They just stated that we had to do it, and if we don’t, good luck working for the school if you want to graduate. \n\nOh, also? It isn’t even as if they made the announcement and gave us some time to sort things out. They simply dropped in, told us to go to school to give the pantries on Monday, and it’s been complete radio silence since then. ######","completion":" NTA. The teachers hearts are in the right places but you are 100% correct that not everyone can afford food for themselves, let alone someone else. Have you emailed this concern to your professors or dean? I assume so since you said there’s been radio silence. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ive been rooming with my sister for 2 years now, and I’ve been having an issue since she moved in. She has a friend who smells AWFUL. Like hasn't bathed in weeks, ran through an onion field awful... who she has spend the night regularly. I cannot stress how bad this guy smells. He walks in to my house and his BO literally smacks you in the face. I cant even walk by my sisters bedroom door without gagging.   \n\n\nAnyways. Every time he comes over, she allows him to sleep on my living room couch, and i swear I can smell him on it weeks after he’s left. I’ve asked her before to get him a cheap air mattress if she wants him to spend the night, which she did, but they popped it on the first night And she has yet to replace it. (I’ve asked multiple times)\n\nI’m at the point where I’m about to tell her that he can’t stay anymore. He’s ruining MY furniture with his stench. Any time I try to bring it up to her, she just says “You’ll survive” AITA for asking her to not have her friend spend the night anymore??   \n\n\nNote: He’s been told by multiple people that he stinks, and he doesn’t seem to care. Her tellong him won’t solve anything. ######","completion":" NTA. The smell of stale ass, weeks of sweat, no deodorant use, not washing sweaty clothes and sour milk just lingers and lingers. (I've been around people who have smelt that bad) and it's horrible.\n\nGod I already wanna get some air freshener for your house and just spray down everything.\n\nBut yeah if it's your house you're allowed to tell people to not come over.\n\nAlso tell her she can pay you for the new air mattress and the laundry detergent and stuff it's costing you to wash and probably re wash all your stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my sister (both 17, I'm her brother) made an agreement one day when my parents weren't home. I'd invite whatever friend I have that my sister thinks is the hottest, and she'd invite whatever friend of her's that I think is the hottest. Then we'd all go skiny dipping. It was mostly so we could see someone we each find hot naked, and possibly we'd each hook up with that person after. \n\n\nWe invited them over, all went skiny dipping, and then got out. She hooked up with my friend and I hooked up with her friend in each of our bedrooms. My sister is open with her mom about sexuality so she told my mom all of this. My mom was cool with it until she realized me and my sister went skiny dipping together. Our parents think its very weird and inappropriate for me and my sister to skiny dip together and see each other naked. \n\n\nNeither of us cared and we focused on the other people in the pool. My parents are really mad, but only because me and my sister skiny dipped with each other and were nude in front of each other. ######","completion":" NTA. The sibling nudity thing is a bit odd, but your collective scheme is genius. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister unfortunately passed away suddenly recently and there will be a funeral soon. Unfortunately, though, because of the Rona situation, the EU commission decided to ban Americans and later most of hte world from entering the EU unless they have valid business or diplomatic reasons to be here. Mostly its some sort of visa or residence permit and at the moment my visa is expired, and  I am in the process of trying to get a residence permit. I live and study in Poland. \n\nAlmost all of my family is fucking pissed i wont go back to the US for the funeral but I cant. If i leave, I cannot reenter hte EU. I have explained this concept so many times to some of these thickskulled dumbasses who still don't understand. Others are saying I'm selfish for this. If i can't reenter the EU i can't continue my studies here. \n\nI've suggested of other things i could do, i could skype or watch a live stream of the funeral or something, i want to go but i can't. I had a massive argument with some of my relatvies after explainign this the 5th time to him and i ended up cursing him out. ######","completion":" NTA. The rules about limited travel are to protect lives,  it would be a terrible irony if you were to somehow spread a fatal disease in order to attend a funeral.   \n  \nIf you are okay with not going then it is your choice. Sorry for your loss OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: My and my bf are in high school and the girls he’s dated before me have straight hair, I’ve had curly hair my whole life and take after my mom, but she always straightens hers and once I got to 9th grade I used to always straighten mine too because I never really knew how to handle it. A couple months ago though I decided to just let it be natural. I wash\/comb it thoroughly it every 3 days, but sometimes it can still get messy and frizzy.\n\nThe issue is that I started dating my bf 6 months ago and he never knew that my hair was naturally curly, so once I stopped straightening it he was surprised and asked why I never told him. Now when we’re videocalling he sometimes makes jokes about it being frizzy and “oh is there a bird hiding in it” Eventually I got annoyed and told him to stop. He complained that I deceived him by straightening my hair and not telling him it was actually curly.\n\nI got really mad and told him he was being ridiculous. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The real world is going to hit him hard when he finds out about hair dyes, lipstick, and eyeshadow. ######"}
{"prompt":"Loaned niece $1000 for her wedding expenses a few years ago; my sister asked for the loan on her behalf because she was too proud\/shy... but when I said yes niece thanked me profusely. Niece has never paid any of it back, but sister paid just over half of it for her until I said STOP because it's not her debt (my sister barely makes ends meet). \nFFWD to now; no family get togethers lately due to COVID, so no bday gift (usually a card with around $100) for niece back in March. After recently dropping off a gift at sister's for another family member, niece tells her mother \"Oh, well, Uncle didn't get me anything for my bday\". \nI admit that I still think about the money owed -not hurting for it, but just the principle of the thing and that I feel taken for granted ...miffed that not even an attempt has been made by her to pay ANY of it back. So I was thinking 'fuck it' and would skip her $ present this year (maybe she would subtly get why, perhaps?). I'm pretty annoyed that she would bring it up to her mother like that; she is 25 years old now! However, in the interest of not causing a rift with my sister (or possibly the rest of the family), I am debating giving her belated birthday $ at the next family function... thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA. The principle is the important thing, but also you should let her know that. Shes an adult, and if she can get married, she can pay back loans. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.\n\nAnyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.\n\nWe laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are \"bullying\" the kids. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The prank was not malicious and you simply did the same to them as they did to Mae, so if your ex wants to call it bullying then she needs to speak to the kids about how they started the bullying. Honestly, I think this teaches a better lesson than punishment would- it was harmless regardless if the kids were trying to be mean or not. If you were to punish them, I’d worry they wouldn’t feel comfortable doing silly, harmless pranks in the future out of fear of punishment. Every household should be able to have fun, they just need to know when something becomes too much or disrespectful. You should still have a talk with them to ensure they understand the difference between a prank and straight up bullying. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad let me borrow his power washer to get my driveway and deck cleaned off. While I was in the middle of spraying my driveway, the guy across the street walked over and asked if he could use it to do his back deck\/shed. I have never spoken to him or his family, he’s never even waved or acknowledged me when we’re both outside. I politely just said it wasn’t mine so I wasn’t comfortable and I would be returning it to the person I was borrowing it from when I was done (which is all true). \n\nThe neighbor directly next to me came over to me later in the day and told me it was kinda rude (he was bitching to her I guess?) and that I should’ve just let him use it. Maybe irrelevant but I am F (24) and he was well into his 50s. And again, never even spoken to him before! Did I overreact? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The power washer wasn’t yours to loan so you were simply being courteous to your father by not loaning it out to your neighbour. You were perfectly polite in explaining that, it isn’t your fault that your neighbour decided to be a jerk. You’re good, OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my younger sister (19) got engaged to her boyfriend on February 20th. This came as a shock to my whole family because they were only dating about two weeks. That event alone caused a lot of drama and my sister was very upset about the lack of support and excitement. I tried being there for her and gave her a gentle nudge to maybe have a long engagement. Now just last week my (24f) boyfriend (25m) of three years proposed. We waited until last night to tell all of our family members over FaceTime and oh man did shit hit the fan. My sister was livid and accused me of trying to take the spotlight away from her. She claimed her boyfriend obviously loved her more since he proposed before mine and that I was just jealous. She was also pissed at my family for being more supportive of my engagement and was posting all over social media about having toxic family. I guess I didn’t really think about how close our announcements were so I can kind of see her point but I wasn’t thinking how she thinks I was. My fiancé and I have been talking about marriage for a year now and apparently he’s had the ring for months.\n\nAITA? Or maybe just insensitive? ######","completion":" NTA. The period between their engagement and yours was significantly longer than her entire pre-engagement relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer?\n\nSo, I need a lot of things delivered to me as I can't go out due to chemo and the fact that I'm currently immunocompromised has me needing a lot of things that I pay to have delivered. What I do to get my things delivered faster is add a large tip ($50.00+, I can afford it) and then it's snatched up and I get my things quicker. \n\nOnce I have the person who will deliver my things, I change the tip to $0.00, and wait until they arrive and tip them the same amount in cash. The delivery services I use take between 5 and 15% of the tip and I'm not tipping the company, I'm tipping the person who's taken time out of their day to bring me things. I've never stiffed someone, I just prefer to know that the full amount I want to tip them ends up in their pocket and I don't trust the government. I did waitressing and I never got the full tip and I know people are hurting. \n\nI mentioned it to a friend and she got angry and said that I was scamming the company and misleading my delivery people but the way I see it is that the company charges me extra for my groceries and takes a delivery fee from me, then they want to charge the deliverer. I know for a fact from all of my delivery people that they're not charged if they don't get a tip so why should I pay the company an additional amount?\n\nObviously I'll change if the company policy charges but until then, they're not taking any more from me and paying their drivers scraps. I also believe that cash is better so that's what I do. \n\nAITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer? ######","completion":" NTA. The only way you'd be the A is if you didn't tip at all or tipped substantially lower. Honestly I just always leave tip blank and tip in cash at the end, and have never had a shopper take too long or mess things up. I read an article yesterday that many people are doing the big tip in app thing then totally stiffing the shoppers, which is repugnant. I know you're not doing that - so good on you! ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.\n\nMe, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent. \n\nThe house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.\n\nWell one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.  \n\nI want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time. \n\nYes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content. \n\nI am a massive fucking child I know. \n\nI told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s  immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it\n\nI know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar. \n\nBut every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle. \n\nMoney also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare. \n\nSo, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ######","completion":" NTA. The only person who will get enjoyment out of it? Uh. It’s your birthday. Enjoy the hell out your bouncy house! ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I am neither the parent nor the son in this story. This happened between my father and my brother and it’s kind of split the family. It happened a few months ago but still gets brought up so I was hoping to get Reddit’s take on the situation. For the sake of making it easier to read I’ll be writing from my dad’s perspective. \n***\n\nSo I (57M) recently discovered my younger son (24M) has been hiding a snake in his bedroom. My two sons (24M and 27M) both live with my wife and I rent-free in our home. All I ask from them is that they help with household chores and respect me and their mom. \nMy younger son has wanted a snake ever since he was 6. In that time my sons have had a myriad of pets. Over the 20-some years we have been in this house we’ve had dogs, cats, a turtle, countless fish, and frogs. \nThe only animal I’ve ever said no to is a snake. I don’t like them. I don’t like how big they get and how potentially dangerous they could be to our other pets if my son isn’t careful — and he has a history of not being careful. My father in law at one point considered letting my son get a snake to keep at their house. Fine, so long as it isn’t in my house. \n\nOne day while putting mail in my son’s bedroom I noticed that there was a weird glow coming from the corner. I went to look at it and found that he had an aquarium set up with a ball python. \nI had words with my son and within a few hours he had sold it to someone who apparently has a lot of snakes that she raises. \n\nMy son was very upset to give up his snake. His girlfriend still won’t talk to me and I think even my wife has doubts about whether we did the right thing. I stand firm that I did what was right. I told him no snakes and he went and got a snake and then tried to hide it from me. \nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The only animal you've ever said no to is a snake so he goes and gets one and hides it from you? \n\nThat's so disrespectful. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) got laid off from my job as of yesterday. Without giving out too much information I was a health care recruiter living in a major city where everything has been hit pretty hard. Naturally, we expected there to be layoffs. \n\nUnfortunately out of about 35-40 people in my company I was considered apart of those layoffs as of 6 PM yesterday. I was upset, as most could imagine because I no longer had an income or a job that I loved. \n\nI intended to go through all my candidates \/ clients today and transfer them over to a new recruiter, “Mary”(23F), so that they weren’t left without a point of contact and so that they knew what was going on. \n\nBefore I had a chance to contact my candidates Mary reached out to them to let them know “ I’d been promoted “ so therefore she’d be “taking over as their recruiter from here on out”. I proceeded to receive over 20 text messages congratulating me on my promotion and wishing me the best. \n\nI had no idea she had done this until the end of day today when Mary said it’d just be an “easier transition” if people thought I was promoted. I told her it was was an asshole move because after getting laid off extremely out of the blue in unprecedented times I had everyone working for me “congratulating” me on my promotion. \n\nMy parents think she was just being cautious of my best interests but I’m still really hurt, so AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. The move added insult to injury. Her intentions may have been innocent, but she should have thought about the ramifications of going that route and telling people you had been promoted. ######"}
{"prompt":"So it was my birthday on Friday and my mom gave me £50 because she didn’t know what to get me. So I spent it on clippers, toothbrush, new joggers, vitamin tablets and pumice stones to help get rid of dead skin due to me recently taking up jogging.\n\nSo when all my stuff arrived my mom went ape shit. She said “why don’t you buy some clothes instead of wearing the usual stuff you wear. You always look like a tramp.” (Consider were on lockdown and I’m lounging about the house in river island\/top man clothes.) she said the clothes that I wear are crap (material often 100% cotton) and trampy. She heavily suggested I go on stores like Nike, Adidas etc where two shirts cost almost £50+ overall.\n\nSo I said “no, you gave me money to buy what I wanted for my birthday and I’ve done exactly that. I don’t care about your opinion on my clothes because you never fucking like what I buy anyways so either way I’m fucked.” Then she got even more upset at me. Like, I buy clothes from places where you can often get a pack of 4 t-shirts for £20. She expect me to get TWO FOR £50!!\n\nAm I the asshole for not spending my birthday money as my mom intended? ######","completion":" NTA. The money was a gift, and you deserve to spend it however you want. And honestly, you got a lot of practical items that will help your life out. I'm sorry your mom reacted like that, but you seem to be a lot more financially responsible than her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My siblings and I all have different fathers.  One is older than me by 4 years and the other is an infant.  I am 20.  My maternal grandmother whom I have never met according to the attorneys felt bad about the way my dad denied me b\/c I was a product of an extramarital affair. My fiance who comes from a heap load of money told me not to tell anyone that I have money. I didn't listen I told a friend who told my brother and now he thinks he should have some. I told him no b\/c what makes him think he deserves it we are no close never have been and have been estranged for the last 3 years not having spoken maybe once or twice and the last time I saw him he called me a whore b\/c my fiance much comes from a well to do family.  Now my mom is saying I owe her for raising me.  I told them both to kiss-off. My mother b\/c she wouldn't even buy me things like a winter coat in h.s. (I wore the same ill-fitting one from middle school while she and my brother (the GC) had all the latest everything)til I could get a job and buy my own.  I told my brother he has no claim to the money b\/c we don't even have the same father.  He says he thinks it's only fair that I share, I told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would not share.  He said so what, that the amount I got could go around a few times over.  I said my grandmother gave it to me, and I'm saving it for myself and my future children.  My fiance and his family say I'm doing the right thing, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The money is yours, and you don't have to give money to people just because they think they deserve it. But your fiance was right, you never should have told anyone you had it!\n\nEditing to add don't argue with anyone about this, just refuse to discuss it with them. Finances are personal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).\n\nLast week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.\n\nBeginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.\n\nThis morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because \"we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now\". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident. \n\nI came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The issue isn’t your name, they knew about that already so that doesn’t excuse them, the issue here is stealing your money. At the end of the day, that’s your savings and taking it for anything you’re not ok with is just wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F 20) just moved in with my boyfriend due to some unstable conditions at home about a month ago. Due to Quarantine, I do my 9-6 job from home. My boyfriend (22) is unemployed and finishing his degree from home. Now when he has class, I do not bother him in the slightest. I stay quiet and respect him. I work so I can support him until he can get a stable job. Recently he’s been done his school work around 12 and has nothing to do so he plays video games until I get off work at 6. I have to work in the same room as him due to the house set up and where my desk is. There is no way around this. I would not care if he was playing video games if he wasn’t screaming and taking to his friends loudly during the game play. I make a lot of phone calls to important clients and I cannot trust him to stay quiet and keep a professional environment in the background. I have asked him multiple times to stay quiet and he just does not. I asked him to do anything besides play video games, like even watch a show or get some house\/yard work done. He refuses to and says he should be able to spend his time how he wants. He acts like a child. WIBTA if I put my foot down and demand respect? ######","completion":" NTA. The issue isn't that he's playing games, it's the way he disrupts your day while playing. Can you afford to move out on your own, since you're apparently paying his rent? If there's a credible threat of you bouncing and him being stuck unable to pay the bills, maybe he'll take you seriously. ######"}
{"prompt":"My nephew is staying with me for the summer.  My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.  \nMy nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m.  Told him smarten up and go to bed.  Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on.  His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it.  I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable. \nWell I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people.  There were several inappropriate interactions.   The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone. \nNow my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone.  Saying I had no right to go threw it.  \nAITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ######","completion":" NTA. The internet of 2020 is a scary place for a 13 y\/o to be. ESPECIALLY discord. There are many predators who use discord to prey on younger kids. It was good you banned him from discord since 1) someone older than him is contacting him and obsessively calling him and 2) you can stop anything harmful that may happen to him. As someone who’s been manipulated by older people on the internet when I was younger, I wish someone banned me from an app older people were contacting me on. There is no reason someone significantly older should be close to a 13 y\/o (well expect like close family but you get the idea). \n\nTalk with your brother about his kid’s internet history and send him photos of what the convos are and who he is in contact with so he can be wary. Hope this situation goes well! Much love xx ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my husband told me that he wasn’t feeling that great, his head hurt and his stomach was bothering him. I told him that’s fine, I’d handle the kids, he could rest. But the issue became that he chose to rest on the couch, in the living room. We don’t have a huge house. Our living room is where most of our kids’ toys are, their books, activities, etc. Our kitchen and living room are also open concept so you can see into one another. Keeping the kids cooped up in their rooms all day wasn’t easy so my husband could rest without being disturbed (and he did ask me to make sure they didn’t). But I did it, because it’s one day.\n\nThen this morning, I got up and went into the living room. He was already on the couch and watching TV. I asked how he was feeling and he said not much better, he was debating a doctor’s appointment for Monday. I said that’s fine but if he was going to spend another day laying down, it had to be in our room. We have a TV in there (albeit smaller), and it’s just easier for me to have more room for the kids to run around. He said that he was the sick one, why should he have to be in his room? I said for just that reason, if you’re sick, you should be in bed. I told him I’d still care for him in our room, but for our kids’ sakes, this was easier. He got mad at me, but went back to bed.\n\nAll throughout the day I got comments about how loud the kids were being and that he was trying to rest, and this is why he wanted them in their rooms. I tried to keep them as quiet as possible but they’re between the ages of 2-5. It’s not easy on top of everything else I had to do today (like clean the house, cook,etc.) When I dropped off his dinner, he told me I made him feel worse.\n\nAm I an asshole for what I did today? ######","completion":" NTA. The identity of the actual two year-old is up for grabs here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. The guy literally sold your fridge! You gave him two months to leave and his name isn't even on the papers for the apartment, so it's perfectly reasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (22F USA) quite embarrassed of this situation and need help finding if I’m the asshole. \n\nI quit my full-time job about a week ago because I am pursuing my bachelors degree and cannot balance my  homework while also working more than 40 hours a week. The financial situation this has caused makes it so I can no longer afford groceries. My boyfriend also lives with me and he is being generous and still makes about 1,500 a month which almost covers everything so we are using my savings so we can keep our car and a roof over our head. \n\nIn a desperate need to get food, I started going to my local food bank. I told my dad over the phone and he called me an asshole claiming that if I was less lazy and did not quit my job I wouldn’t be stealing from the poor. Keep in mind my father works for a large corporation making hundreds of thousands a year and does not help me financially in any way since I was 18. \n\nI am starting to feel like TA after that phone call, but my boyfriend keeps telling me he’s an ass. Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The food bank is there for people who can't afford food, and that's you. you're not stealing from the poor. i worked full time while i put myself through college and it was not sustainable; you made the right decision to prioritize school. \n\nonce you're back on your feet again you can donate to the food bank to return the favor :)\n\n it sounds like your dad has some weird shame around you accessing the food bank but that's his issue, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?\n\nI (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy. \n\nI was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**\n\nThat being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head\/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me. \n\nToday, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything. \n\nI know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched. \n\nTL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The fact that she is trans is irrelevant. She did not respect your clearly and repeatedly stated personal boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I dated a YouTuber.\n\nWe went out for about a year and it was alright but they were so emotionally invested in their channel that they constantly neglected me and made me feel like I wasn't a priority.\n\nNot really important why we broke up, but we broke up.\n\nThen I get a bunch of messages from friends about 3 months later telling me to go to their channel. I'm pretty much done with them but I do and I realise they made a video about me where they claim I was emotionally abusive.\n\nI continued to get messages from strangers telling me how awful a person I was and how they hoped I died through various means.\n\nSo I sued my ex.\n\nIt ruined them. I knew they were financially in a bad spot and they likely couldn't afford court fees but the case dragged.\n\nThey made a video about not being able to afford court costs and such and how it was going to ruin them.\n\nAfter which a bunch of friends started telling me to just let it go and move on but I had sunk money into the case as well. It wasn't cheap for me either so I didn't just let it go.\n\nEventually the judge ruled in my favor and I received a total of nothing from my ex......\n\nBut it meant I could link to the result in the comments section of every video she tried to frame me as the bad guy because in our state, court proceedings are public record.\n\nSuddenly her viewership dropped and she blamed me for ruining her life.\n\nA bunch of my friends said I went too far and should've just taken the court win and left her alone.\n\nWas I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. The ex shouldn't be using a private relationship for youtube views, and deserves everything they got. ######"}
{"prompt":"Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.\n\nI have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).\n\nWell my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.\n\nSo I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.\n\nIdk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######","completion":" NTA. The dude can delete comments on his own Facebook post. The aunt might be a bigger AH even than him; that’s absolutely ridiculous, especially given he can just delete the comment if he thinks it’s so bad. ######"}
{"prompt":"Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything.\nUsually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was. \n\nAs I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all.\n\nI went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?”\n\nHe started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house. \n\nI countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.” \n\nThe man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA?\n\nTo be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ######","completion":" NTA. The dog is his responsibility. He should have been extremely apologetic for putting everyone involved in that situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically what it says in the title. My boyfriend made an OnlyFans a couple months ago to make a little extra money. I wasn't crazy about the idea at the time but I figured he's an adult and if he wants to get naked on the internet for money that's his prerogative.\n\nAnyway lately he's been bugging me to subscribe, and I just don't see the point cos I already see him naked all the time plus he shows me everything he posts before he posts it to get my input already... like what's in it for me you know?\n\nSo I said all that to him and he basically said I should do it to show my support for his work and endeavors, and then he said how he comes to all my gigs (I'm a musician) to support me and I should do the same thing cos couples support each other. And I said those 2 things aren't the same and he said how exactly are they different? And to be fair to him, I couldn't think of a reason.\n\nBut Idk! I still don't really wanna pay 10 bucks a month to subscribe to his only fans. Like I just don't see what's in it for me. Now he's lowkey upset with me and I'm wondering if I'm being selfish or hypocritical for how I feel. Would love an outside perspective...\n\ntl;dr BF wants me to subscribe to his OnlyFans to be supportive and I don't want to. ######","completion":" NTA. The difference is that your boyfriend can't experience or give you feedback on your gigs without going to them, whereas you're already seeing and giving him feedback on everything he posts without having a subscription (which, by the way, is a way of showing support for his work). All having a subscription will do is give him $10 a month minus the 20% cut the site takes - it seems like it would be easy to cut out the middleman and just give your boyfriend 10 bucks if he's really that hard up for cash - and make his subscriber count go up by 1, which seems like a really stupid waste of $2 a month. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title pretty much says it all. My friend was checking on my cats while I was on vacation (this was last year). Basically I was supposed to pay her $20\/day for the week.\n\nThen (while I was on vacation), apparently she somehow ran over the light post in my yard. It broke in half and she tore out some of the underground electrical, along with one of my most beloved plants. Thankfully I was able to save my plant. I know that sounds dumb but it took me forever to actually get this thing to thrive.\n\nMy friend offered to pay for it, so I had some electricians come out and look at it and they all recommended I use my home owners deductible to get it fixed, which is $500. I believe the cheapest contractor was $800. After she heard the estimate, she spazzed and said she couldn’t pay that. So I said I would keep the money I owed her for cat-sitting and pay the rest of the deductible. She got upset and said that wasn’t our agreement, but I don’t really want to pay her after needing to pay this deductible for something that was blatantly her fault.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. The damage she caused is worth more than the sum you were going to pay her. It may have been an accident, but it’s an accident you have to pay for. It’s only right that she take some responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work in a local bookstore, it’s pretty small so has been open over the past few weeks, with restrictions of course. With it being pride month, my manager wanted us to do a window display of gay authors and books with gay protagonists etc, with rainbow flags across it, and we’ve had a lot of praise. It’s a small town but pretty inclusive. \n\nYesterday morning a woman comes bounding over looking like she’s about to pop a blood vessel and practically shouts at me demanding to speak to someone. I asked her how I could help and she points to our display and says that we’re evil for putting that display up as there was children around. My coworker and I thought this was hysterical as my coworker is bisexual and this 2020, like who gives a fuck. Also want to add that none of these books are erotica or anything offensive, some of them are even children’s books. \n\nI decided I wanted to have a little bit of fun with her so I gasped and asked how we could be so inconsiderate and asked her how we could think of the children. So I took a pile of books behind the window display that were clearly focused on same sex parents and gay relationships, and started putting them in front of the books in the front row of the store, telling her that if she wasn’t happy she could simply leave the store. \n\nShe didn’t understand what was going on for a few seconds but when she did she demanded (yet again, clearly hasn’t gotten laid in a while) that one of us go and get our manager. My coworker did and my manager diffused the situation but is now telling me that as much as he agrees with me standing up for what I believe in, the customer is always right and I shouldn’t be intentionally provoking them. He’s now considering taking down the display in case it happens again and telling me if it does happen again I’ll be let go. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The customer ISN'T always right. You were sarcastic, sure, but not outright insulting. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we had a cat appear around our house eating the food we put out for the jack rabbits and magpies. I noticed her and put a little extra out and over the course of four or five days, I realized that she was eating all the food as fast as possible. After a week, she let me get near and feed her all she could eat which was a truly shocking amount of food. I suspected she was young and pregnant. Got her into the house that night. Took photos and posted Found Cat ads. \n\nTook her to the Vet next morning to check for a microchip. Cat has no ID, and no one has reported a lost cat matching her description. Vet checked her over and cat was very young, pregnant and starving. The outcome for her the kittens was grim. The Vet didn't expect her to survive the birthing process, and kittens had been starved since she became pregnant, if they survived labour they would most likely starve because the cat was too thin to produce milk. \n\nI was offered a variety of solutions to deal with the cat including trying to find an open shelter to take her; abandoning her; hope her owners appear before labour; et cetra. I chose the final option, claim her as mine and have the termination spay done. The Sassy Princess was last spotted doing the algebraic calculation of how to spread out her tiny body to take over the largest amount of space on a queen size bed possible.\n\nI have had several friends outraged that I took a potential owner's right to choose whether their cat has the right to have kittens away. Someone else accused me of not caring about the kittens and not wanting them and being a kitten killer. I have argued that if the owners did show up, I would return the cat if the paid the hefty vet bill. As for being a kitten killer - yep I chose one life over that of her babies because it was the life I knew I could possibly save. AITA ######","completion":" NTA. The cat needed the operation to survive. She has a home and a human to love her. You did good. ######"}
{"prompt":"My apartment complex just repaved and repainted the parking lot. They added one more parking spot to our area for our building and by doing so, the spots are much smaller. \n\nA person who lives here and has advertisements for his $59 DUI school\/drivers ed company(oh the irony), hit my fiancee's brand new Honda CRV while parking last night. He parked so close she had to use the passenger side door to get in this morning so she didn't see the damage until she got home at 5pm today. He didn't leave a note or acknowledge it at all. We took pictures of his car and our car and I had to decide what to do.\n\nThe damage is minimal, but damage nonetheless. I called my insurance and they said to get a police report. So I called the police and they came, inspected the damage, confirmed the damage matches both cars. The owner of the other vehicle came out and asked what was happening, just as I was walking back to my apartment to wait for the police to review everything. They came to my apartment and told me he denied it but still gave his insurance information.\n\nThe police told me that I need to file my own report online and enter the information he gave me. So I filed a report and a claim with my insurance. Unfortunately we both have Geico, not sure what will happen.\n\nMy fiancee said I took it too far and potentially put us in danger since he might know where we live and what car we drive. I figured it would teach this guy and potentially bring it to the complex's attention that the spaces are too close. I also called them to let them know. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. The car was damaged and needed repair. You were doing your due diligence to get it fixed. \n\nAs far as being in danger, I doubt it. The guy has a business and there is now a police report with his name in it. If anything happens to you guys, the police will look at him first. If he were a criminal, he would know he can’t go after you guys. He would also not do anything if he’s a decent human being. He’s obviously a liar, but it doesn’t make him a psycho. You shouldn’t worry about him unless there’s another reason to. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######","completion":" NTA. The art is in the delivery. ######"}
{"prompt":"My best friend is getting married at the end of summer and he wants to do a haka to celebrate as a part of the ceremony. I am not Polynesian, Maori, Samoan, Tongan, Australian, Kiwi, etc, etc and my friend isn’t either. We said that if we did DNA tests and if either of us turned up anything from that area, we’d do it, but we both came up without anything there. AITA for this or am I being sensitive or too PC?\n\nEdit: Neither bride or groom have heritage from there. ######","completion":" NTA. Thats very strange. Why does that person want to do that?? They shouldn’t force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.\n\nEdit: is your friend or his wife a Maori dancer? because that’s the only real reason from what you’ve told us that they want to do this. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.\n\nI’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister. \n\nSo my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess. \n\nAs a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad. \n\nI’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything. \n\nThe thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit.    AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s your private diary that she has no right to go through. She also sounds nasty to be reacting like that, especially to kids who aren’t even her own and has never looked after properly. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######","completion":" NTA. That’s too damn early. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.\n\nBasically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair. \n\nI mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)\n\nAnd because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up\n\nIt’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult. \n\nThe amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing. \n\nSo I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye. \n\nIf they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.\n\nMy mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit. \n\nLuckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######","completion":" NTA. That’s petty for sure but that’s the point right? It’s similar to people groping the stomachs of pregnant women without their permission. Don’t touch people unless you want to be touched back. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a throwaway account. Also this story happened a while ago.\n\nMy friend and I went to see a movie. Before that, we got some churros for $10, she said she'd pay for it and I can pay later when we buy something after the movie. I said ok. We shared the churros. After the movie, she wanted to get hot chocolate but I didn't want any so she can get a cup and I'll pay for it. And because just the hot chocolate by itself, it didn't add up to $10 so she added in a cookie to rake up $10, I said it was ok. I paid for the hot chocolate and the cookie.\n\nIt was pretty late at night so I'm assuming the worker must've been pretty tired because although he charged us $10, he accidentally made us two cups of hot chocolate. He gave it to us for free because it's already made and we were the only two there. \n\nThe next morning, she texted asking me to transfer the money I owe her back. I was confused because I didn't owe her anything, I paid $10. She said it was because it wasn't $10 that I paid since I also got something out of it, it made the value of her drink decreased. Even as I typed this out, I still don't understand her reasoning. I said that I paid $10 fair and square, the hot chocolate I got was just an added bonus for us. We debated back and forth about this and she said she told her mom about the story, and her mom also thinks that I should pay back. We dropped it after a while but I'm still confused. Since her mom also agreed, I don't know if she dropped it because I was being an asshole and she didn't wanna keep arguing or if it was because I was right. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s not how that works at all. You bought her $10 worth of stuff as she did for you. You getting a free one has no impact on that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling\/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s like the childish shit my mother does. I suggested we clean the fridge since we’re home all day. She keeps putting it off all day then later at night I’m chilling in my room and hear her making noise in the kitchen (small apartment). I ask her from my room what she is doing, and she say nothing just cleaning the fridge out. I said oh do you need some help, and she tells me no. In response I told oh ok. Not ten minutes later I hear her scoff “I wish I had some help around here”. I literally offered her help and she says no, I’m not a fucking mind reader. I am not going to waste my time and energy wondering if your lying to me\/ have alternative feelings to a situation that you just aren’t telling me. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a gluten intolerance, which I was diagnosed with last year. I get quite sick if I eat a lot of gluten. As a result of this, I tend to buy gluten free snacks out of my own pocket, as I'm the only one in the house who has this. I tend to buy gluten free bread\/pittas, crackers, cakes and pasta, enough to last me a couple of weeks usually.\n\nThe problem is, if I store it in the kitchen, even if it's on my own shelf, it gets eaten by my stepmum or brothers without them asking me. A week's supply will be gone in a day. I've tried explaining that this stuff is my supply for the week and they're gluten free, please could they not be eaten. I was ignored, and the bread I'd brought was gone when I went to make lunch during my working from home break.\n\nI bought a little mini fridge, and kept the bread, cakes and pasta in that for my use. I'm being called selfish for doing this, as they should be for all of us. I've also been told that the smell could attract rats, which seems silly since they're in a fridge. My point is that these are specific foods for my allergies, paid for out of my own pocket, and I put in money for rent and food for the family too. I consider these my own food items as I purchased them myself.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s just childish behavior and honestly it’s really weird. Not to be rude but honestly a lot of gf versions of foods tend to not be as good(although that might not be true for your fam) so why would they purposefully go after your food in the first place. You should get one of those fridge lockers lol ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and his wife has a Life360 group including my kids (16 and 20) and her kids. Although I pay for one of my kids' phones, they are not allowed to take Life360 off the phone. \n\nEssentially this means he can track what they're doing when they're with me (and me, by proxy). He's made comments to them in the past about where we've gone, if I've sped or if we didn't do anything at all.\n\nHe even has my family members set up as alerts (I think this means he'd get an alert if we visited them?) \n\nWIBTA if I told the kids to turn the stupid app off while they're with me? However, doing that would likely cause them to get flack from their father (he won't confront or talk to me about it -- if I even call to ask him nicely, he'll give them crap) and make their time with him more stressful. Do I suck it up or take a stand and start to show them that these types of apps are invasive and not \"safety\" based. ######","completion":" NTA. That’s invasive as hell of your ex in a way that goes beyond “rules at your dad’s house are different” sort of way. But you need to tell your ex what you’re doing first. You’re right that he’s going to give you and the kids crap but he’s definitely going to notice if they turn it off and it’s not fair that they’re the ones who will have to bear the brunt of it when he confronts them.\n\nYou mention paying for one phone but not the other. If your finances allow it, see if you can take over payment for that one. That way he’ll have less of a leg to stand on if he insists on keeping the app. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ######","completion":" NTA. that’s incredibly tacky and gross, not to mention disrespectful. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.\n\nThey kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.\n\nI have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s awful. I have a friend who won’t apologize for anything no matter how rude or insensitive he is. Those people will never take accountability. You don’t need that person in your life, they’re not your real friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to crochet and knit, and it's best to have specific yarn scissors. Mine are really good and I love them, it's so satisfying to snip the yarn. Because they are made specifically for yarn, if you use them on other materials, like paper, cardboard, etc, it will damage and blunt them.\n\nMe and my two brothers (who actively ensure they know nothing of fibercrafts) were sat watching a film together. I like to crochet while watching TV as it keeps my hands occupied, while my brother prefers to fiddle with whatever's around. My bag crochet equipment was on the sofa next to us, and he took my scissors out to fiddle with. I told him not to because they are very sharp and he could hurt someone or damage them. He gave them back and I put them in the bag.\n\nLater on, I needed the loo so left the room. When I came back, he had taken the scissors out of the bag, and was cutting up a piece of cardboard (a tetley's tea box, if anyone's interested). I was really annoyed and told him to stop and give me my scissors. Even after me explaining that yarn scissors are not for cardboard or paper, he is adamant that he didn't do anything wrong. I think he's in the wrong because they're my scissors, I specifically asked him not to use them, the cardboard did not need cutting up, and him doing so damaged my property! Both my brothers think I'm overreacting and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is now winding me up by saying that he will use my scissors to cut some cardboard again. I just want him to apologise and not do it again! ######","completion":" NTA. That’s a good way to destroy fabric scissors ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old. \nOur relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.\n\nAnyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me \"hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol \"  and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions. \n\nI asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that \"we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?\" \n\nI do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing,  she just said \"yeah, and?\"\nI find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and \" just for fun.\"\n\nShe thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous. \nMeanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards. \n\n\nAdditional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is. \nAlso non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ######","completion":" NTA. That’s a big red flag to me. She could just say it’s  for fun and all but  instead of reassuring you she’s just blowing you off and making it seem like you’re the bad guy. If it bothers you and you’ve tried to bring it up and she still continues then does she really care? I say let them rekindle what they had just get yourself a loyal one. ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me. \n\nOn the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said \"oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip\" and so I asked, \"then how did you sleep?\" \n\nHe looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for \"body heat\" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######","completion":" NTA. That’s 100% not normal for camping. In fact it’s incredibly uncomfortable sleeping in one alone, just imagine two people. I honestly wouldn’t buy his story. And the fact he hid it is even more shady. I’m sorry but it sounds like he may have cheated and just got caught. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.\n\nMy insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.\n\nI told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.\n\nAITA for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA. That's your money. Simple as that. BUT.\n\n>I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it\n\nYou're an adult. Time to act like an adult. Take care of your money. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (we'll call her Mindy) planned a bachelorette party trip that cost each of us $1200. The trip has now been canceled because of COVID, but there's a problem. My friend had this other friend (we'll call her Jane) of hers purchase the trip as a group trip on her credit card. So, Jane is getting a full refund on her credit card for everyone's money. Jane, however, is now hard up for money and is saying that she won't give anyone their money back with a myriad of excuses, including she can't get cash back as it's a credit card refund. I asked that she just buy me a travel gift card then for my balance and that still seems to be a no. \n\nHere's the thing... Mindy seems angry that we want our money back from Jane. She seems to think that we should all be ok with taking a loss, which I could understand if Jane wasn't getting a full refund...but she is. None of us, except Mindy, are actually friends with Jane. AITA for thinking that Mindy should stand up for her friends and make Jane do the right thing? There are 8 people who paid Jane for this trip, meaning she's going to make a pretty hefty profit off this :( ######","completion":" NTA. That's worth going to court over ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits. \n\nMy sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason. \n\nI finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.\n\nI could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######","completion":" NTA. That's what she needed to hear, even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend asked me if she could access my Facebook to untag me from old photos. I said no then asked why. She showed an example it was a photo from about 10 years ago with me in a club with a girl hugging me and leaning on my shoulder. It was an ex but she didn't know that. I don't take many photos so I value people tagging me in theirs. ######","completion":" NTA. That's super possessive and potentially a red flag. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m in a group chat with 8 other people. We all go to the same grad school. John said: “Hi everyone. I received a diagnosis.” He never even announced he was sick or seeing a doctor, at least to me, so I was afraid that he had cancer or something similarly serious.  Another friend responded: “Oh no, is everything okay?”  After a two-hour long pause, John said, “I will be okay...now. I have been diagnosed with ADHD.”\n\nAs a person with ADHD, this struck me as obviously being much less serious than a terminal diagnosis, and not worth the drama. I said, “Man, I thought you were dying or something, that was really dramatic!” He didn’t respond to me and the conversation moved on. A mutual friend of me and John messaged me and told me that John was very offended by what I said. John thinks that I was minimizing his very serious diagnosis, a diagnosis he sees as a revelation and the reason he’s always struggled to succeed in work\/school.  Since this was told to me in a covert way, I didn’t see a space to apologize or explain myself.  I don’t even know what I would say...That I still think that saying “I received a diagnosis” in a group chat and announcing an ADHD diagnosis is overdramatic?\n\nAm I being an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. That's someone creating drama. A 2 hour pause? Good lord. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating for four years and we currently live together. We usually have a great relationship but recently we've been at each other's throats over this. I can't tell if this is a real problem or if it's just because we're cooped up.\n\nThe problem is that I eat a lot of foods my boyfriend considers gross. Some of these are foods everybody considers gross, and others are things just he does. \n\nThings he thinks are gross: melted cheese, shredded cheese, hummus, chickpeas, fries in milkshakes, this Indian yogurt I eat, and peanut butter with nothing else.\n\nThings probably everyone thinks are gross: pickles in milkshakes, ketchup in rice, capers and their juice, and mangoes and cheese. There are probably others I'm forgetting. \n\nAnyways I like these foods and I get that others think it's gross, but I don't really think it's hurting anybody. \n\nRecently though I've been eating them more, and as both my boyfriend and I are home all the time in a small studio, he's been seeing it a lot more. At first he just told me what I was doing was nasty and moved on, but now he's started getting angry at me when he sees me eating these things and others he thinks are gross.\n\nToday we got into a fight over it. He wants me to stop eating all these foods he thinks are gross. I think he's being ridiculous. I always clean up after myself, and it's not like I'm rubbing it in his face that I'm eating these. He thinks it's inconsiderate for me to keep doing something that I know bothers him.\n\nWe're currently not talking over this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That's some controlling behavior, OP. Maybe thank this quarantine for showing his true colors and lay out the ultimatum of \"let me eat whatever the fuck I want or gtfo\". ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 18, living with my mom through the summer until I move away for college across the country. I offered to pay for dinner if my mom wanted to go out to eat now that my state has lifted most restrictions. I suggested we go out to eat at a local vietnamese place (because they have amazing pho and the owners are a super kind older couple and I know their business has been struggling lately). Immediately my mom bursts out with \"Why should we go there when they made the virus?\" and snickered. I told my mom to take me back home and that I wasnt going to go to dinner with her. She threw a huge fit and went on a rant about how i need to learn to take a joke and that I was being a brat. ######","completion":" NTA. That's rude, inaccurate and uncalled for. ######"}
{"prompt":"\\*my wife has approved this description of events, so it is less biased\\* \n\nMy wife and I spend a lot of time at her Aunt and Uncle (aged 80+) cabin in Colorado. We come up to help them take care of the house and yard, and we are both pretty handy so we help fix things that inevitably break around the place. We typically spend 3-4 days of the week here during the spring\/summer months, and 1-2x\/month during the fall\/winter (we can both work remotely so no issues there).  The small cabin has 2 spare rooms, as well as a loft with no bathroom. There isn't a guest bath that's unattached to a bedroom. \n\nThis weekend her parents and sister are coming up to the cabin. They come up rarely, and her sister comes up maybe once year.  Her sister is single. She's been told she's selfish in past relationships, and from the outside looking in, I have to agree. We've stayed at her place when visiting her, and she told us to bring our own bedding, towels, food, etc. My wife also had to bring her own cleaning supplies to make the room decent.\n\nWe arrived at the cabin last night and slept in the bedroom we always stay in. This afternoon, we got a call from my MIL telling us to move our things up to the loft (which has 2 twin beds and is above\/open to the living room) so my SIL can stay in the bedroom. I don't think this is fair given that we come up more often, do more work, are married, and were already here this weekend. There is also not a bathroom to use that doesn't involve us walking into in-laws bedrooms. When my wife told her mother that she didn't think this was completely fair, her mother yelled and told her to deal with it because the sister never comes up and doesn't feel welcome. To be fair, we have always prioritized going there because we know how much help the Aunt\/Uncle need.  \n\nAITA for not wanting to cater to my SIL? ######","completion":" NTA. That's ridiculous, and I would continue to push back on that request. Also, sister sounds like she sucks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, this is kind of of a weird one. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I want to preface all of this by saying that I love her and that this post makes her sound worse than she is. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, and hardworking people I have ever met. But, this whole situation has been so off putting to me and I don’t know what to do about it. \n\nMy girlfriend can be a bit clingy in general which, frankly, I have always found a bit cute. But, when she goes to the bathroom she always wants me to join her. At first I thought it was cute she wanted to spend time with me so much but I didn’t realize it was something she was going to expect every time. It started as just sitting on the side of the tub while she peed. Which could be inconvenient depending on if I was in the middle of something but I didn’t mind too much. But, starting a few months ago she started going number two and also dealing with her period stuff in front of me too. I’ve tried to excuse myself because the sights and smells. But, it hurts her feeling when I do and it always ends up in a fight about something unrelated. So, I’ve been dealing with it to keep the peace. She doesn’t mind if I go on my phone or do something else in the bathroom. But, even so, I just don’t want to witness\/smell\/hear those moments and it’s starting to impact my attraction towards her. I’ve tried talking with her but it seems to be really important to her for whatever reason. WIBTA if I stopped doing this? ######","completion":" NTA. that's not normal or cute, and is 100% reasonable boundary to have. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away. \n\nLong hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids\/husband\/parents and I suffered. \n\nI managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first. \n\nAlthough Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor  (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”. \n\nTheir “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement &amp; my kids’ schools have had to get involved. \n\nI just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars. \n\nPastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass. \n\nStep-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship &amp; Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both. \n\nStep-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass. \n\nI maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now. \n\nWho’s TA here? ######","completion":" NTA. That's not how that works. They don't even actually want forgiveness. They just want you to put on a show to help them fix the damage they did to themselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quarantine woes. I (28F) work upstairs and my husband (35M) works from our kitchen counter. Every morning he refuses to put the kettle on or help make the coffee. He says, \"I don't want coffee but if you make it I'll have some.\" When I make it he then wants a full cup! As of late I take the entire french press with me back to my work station and refuse to share with him since he can't be bothered to even turn the knob on the stove for the kettle. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That's annoying. If he wants coffee he can contribute to making it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi! Second time posting here.\n\nOkay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.\n\nMy sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following. \n\nA few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated. \n\nI've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)\n\nI feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######","completion":" NTA. That's an invasion of privacy and depending on where you are, illegal. And she's doing it for her benefit, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.\n\n Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That's a great solution. It's in fact already proving your point: He said it was \"adding more work\". Well apparently only to him, because this is stuff you already do. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\n\nI (15) was very close with my great grandmother, Gram Joe. We were both avid gardeners and artists, and she taught me everything I know about painting. Gram Joe had blood cancer, and was running a bit slow in her last few months. My brother (11), on the other hand, never went to visit her. He would only come with if Gma, grams daughter, was getting us lunch after. And even then, he would sit on his phone and ignore her.\n\nShe passed away last November, and I miss her like hell. My biggest regret is I never got to come out to her. \n\nHer will specifically stated that I was to get all her supplies, which were incredibly expensive and well worth the money (30$ brushes, 150$ oil paint sets, canvasses, pencils, everything), which I was very grateful for. \n\nThen comes my father. He took half of the stuff I was supposed to get and gave it to my brother, who already had his things she set aside. Expensive oil paints, brushes, colored pencils, all to the boy who doesn’t like drawing. I was, of course, incredibly upset. \n\nMy dad said it was only to be fair since brother didn’t get much, but that’s because she didn’t know what to give! He never payed attention to her, he never went to visit. She didn’t know what he would want. My brother ended up throwing away his stuff. Except for the brushes, which he didn’t take care of properly and are now mangled beyond belief. Thankfully my brother and I are close so he secretly gave me the stuff while throwing away the packaging, but the rage was still there. My brother is very obviously my dads favorite\n\nMost of the rage was because he did that to Grams. I’m a religious person (paganism) and I know damm well Grams knew what he was doing. He violated her will for fucks sakes, that’s not ok!\n\nTL:DR. Favorite grandmother left me all her art and gardening supplies in the will, father then gave half of everything to brother (favorite son) “to be fair”, violating the will. Grounded me for being angry about it ######","completion":" NTA. that was your stuff that your grandma gave to you! dose your brother even like to paint? sorry for your loose. ######"}
{"prompt":"This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.\n\nAfter that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left. \n\nAfterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######","completion":" NTA. That was rude, and you are not required to suffer fools. More “considerate” to remove yourself than to start a fight. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 14 and my stepbrother is 12. Me and my stepbrother wanted some dinner and my stepmom and dad were both at work (doctors) and they told us they had made us dinner before they left. \n\nThey make us eat boring food that we don’t even like and half the time it doesn’t even fill us up. It’s either salad with low fat dressing (no cheese or bacon not even a little bit to make it tasty) and fish or it’s baked sweet potato and chicken. Like seriously we can’t eat anything else and because they meal prep it’s the same food every day. They are NOT very good cooks. \n\nThey used to basically get takeout every night (pretty nice healthy and delicious stuff) but they stopped that lately because of hygiene reasons. \n\nThey are super into health and fitness so I guess they make us eat healthy too. We have some ramen noodles but we are hardly ever allowed to eat them. My stepbro is a bit fat so she makes him eat even less than me. \n\nAnyway me and my stepbrother were watching tv and we decided we were hungry AND bored cuz we’ve been at home for so long we watched some videos on YouTube for food ideas and we decided we wanted ramen.\n\nI made the noodles and we enjoyed them, when our parents came home they saw we didn’t eat dinner so we told them I made noodles. My stepmom got real mad and said that I know I’m not supposed to let my stepbro eat bad food cuz it doesn’t fit into his macros. She was talking about sugar spikes and blah blah because it’s unhealthy. \n\nI feel kinda bad because she’s stressed about his weight but I didn’t think 1 meal of noodles was gonna be the end of the world. ######","completion":" NTA. That was really cool of you to take care of and feed your brother. There are so many delicious foods out there besides fish, salad, sweet potatoes. This is a good opportunity for you to learn about nutrition and cooking. Are you able to get involved and help with the meals a bit more and experiment in the kitchen? Ask your mom what the macros are and use Reddit to find suitable recipes. Then you can teach your little bro. I wish someone would have taught me how to cook or take care of myself. My mom raised us on canned pasta and McDonald's. I'm 30 and only now learning how fun cooking is and how delicious healthy food can be. Good luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19m) ordered a gift for my mom online a couple days ago. Knowing she loves this brand Rituals (a shower gel and beauty kind of thing), i got her a gift box with multiple items in it. Now the website i ordered this on had this gift box listed under \"mother's day gift ideas\". Without any second thoughts i ordered it thinking she would love it.\n\nNow this gift box arrived the day before mother's day and when it got here i noticed that it looked quite masculine, it had shaving cream in it and the name of the scent was something with a samurai or something. I looked it up and it was actually for men. I felt stupid because it was too late to return it. \n\nI decided to just give it to my mom and explain the situation, i told her she could smell the soaps (without actually taking any soap out of the container) to see if she liked the scents regardless and if not i could return it and she could pick another set. She then opened the soap container, at this point i couldn't return it, and then she posted a picture of it on Facebook making fun of me. She commented \"the point of having three kids is that if one of them gets you a bad mother's day gift, the other two can still fix it\". Obviously this made me feel upset because I didn't know when I ordered it and i was the only one of her kids to buy her a gift. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That was mean. I'm sure you were embarrassed enough already, and publicly humiliating you was uncalled for. \n\nYou probably should have given a gift for your mother a \"second thought,\" but it was nice of you to remember what brand she likes. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him. \n\nAnyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it. \n\nA few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this\n\nHer: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment \n\nMe: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...\n\nHer: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal. \n\nMe: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself. \n\nNow my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300. \n\nTl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ######","completion":" NTA. That was an unpleasant bait and switch on her part and sounds like a way for her to get paid to clean her own apartment. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds bad.  I feel bad about it but I don't think I should pay them more. \n\nHere's why:\n\n- I was never on the lease\n- I didn't pay any bond\n- I was sub renting\n- I gave them 10 workdays notice,  then paid for another 2,5 weeks to make it a month. \n- I communicated everything with them that they need to find another person\n- I made all the ads and pictures of the pace\n- I made a letter to the landlord stating due to xyz I cannot be in this country anymore and if the rent could be lowered.\n\nI was in this place for 3 months.  All went fine but then hell broke loose. I had to get back home since my family needed me. \nWhen my roommates (24 f &amp; m) heard this, they pushed me to get on the lease.\n\n \nFurthermore they were understanding, helping me by just talking and I made ads to find someone new.  I had several people coming by the place but they didn't get my room since they wanted someone long term (year+) and between 20-30.\n\nI had to catch a plane and put most of my stuff into storage. \n\nThey couldn't find anyone after 2 weeks and they asked me to transfer rent.  I told them I need to pay for 2 places now so I'll only do 2 weeks for you guys to find someone new.  They were grateful. \n\n2 weeks later they explode and expect me to keep on paying since they haven't found someone new. It would be my responsibility and they are calling me names now saying they might have to move now etc.\n\nI feel horrible for them but to be fair why would I pay for a place I haven't lived in for 3 weeks and I don't have any responsibility for?\n\nOne side I'm like maybe I should help them out even more.  But I'm out of a job and stuff is bad in my hometown now too.\nI need the money myself. ######","completion":" NTA. That was a risk they assumed when they let you sublet and not sign a lease. \n\nYou even paid for 2 extra weeks and helped them find prospects. Their pickiness is what ultimately led them to being stuck in their current predicament. They should have found someone short term until they could find someone for the long term. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.\n\nI'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it. \n\nMy mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######","completion":" NTA. That is your stuff. Other people don’t get to inherit it by default. Take it with you. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHey There.\n\nMy parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.\n\nSorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######","completion":" NTA. That is your inheritance and it's up to you what you want to do with it. \n\nWord of advice, get in touch with a lawyer to cover your bases. Never know when your own family can turn out to be petty enough to take you to court over inheritance. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.\n\nThe first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.\n\nIf this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days. \n\nI live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach\/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######","completion":" NTA. That is unsafe. ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for insisting on using my sister's internet for one hour for a big job interview? Backstory: she had already said yes and it was planned and everything, now she just texted me that her boyfriend is going to be home unexpectedly so I basically need to find somewhere else. Her boyfriend and I have never had an argument or anything, he is just really possessive of her. And before you ask, he was like this before the current situation too. If I was over visiting her (rare occasions) I would have to leave before he got home just because he doesn't like other people there. I don't have any other options for internet for my interview since the city library is closed. Aita for telling her boyfriend to suck it up for an hour so I can get a good job? Edit:I also want to note i live in a very small town. No Starbucks or McDonald's or any other source of internet besides the city library which is closed. I would go somewhere else if I could but that would mean going to the next city (about 40 minutes away). I have very very few options here.\n\nEdit edit: wow I wasnt expecting to get this much response so quickly. So I'm going to add some things. \n\nYes I had bad vibes about their relationship before this but after reading all the input I definitely realize just how bad it is and will be working harder to try to help her with this any way I can. I've already sat down and we had a heart to heart convo. Thank y'all for opening my eyes to just how bad her situation is.\n\nI do have data to occasionally get on internet, like on Reddit, but it isn't a good enough signal to handle an hour long video conference interview. Luckily everything ended up working out okay. ######","completion":" NTA. That is scary, and I am worried for your sister. She can't have guests because he's possessive. Yikes! That is not a healthy relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I am a behavioral therapist for autistic kids. And with COVID and everything going on, sessions have been moved around but haven’t stopped. I have this one kid who we will call John. John is 8 years old and very aggressive. My job with John is to help him understand simple things better like time, patience, social cues, etc. This kid had promise when I started, which was about a month before the pandemic. But as the pandemic continue, his behavior has gotten worse. Session is about 3 1\/2 hours. The moment I knock on the door I can hear “I DONT WANT TO DO SESSION!” Now, why doesn’t he want to do session? Because he wants to play roblox and fortnite. That’s all he wants to do. Watch YouTube videos about those games and to play them. It takes about 30-45 minutes to get him to calm down because he doesn’t want therapy. He wants to play roblox and fortnite on his xbox. And when we take it away, he will call his mom a bitch. \n\nNow his poor mother, I feel so bad for her. She just wants what’s best for her kid but all he does is abuse her. She tells me that it’s okay because he doesn’t understand but I can see it’s slowly killing her. She doesn’t sleep at all because every 30 minutes or so, the kid will wake her up in the middle of the night for whatever reasons. \n\nGoing through this with the kid every single session has started to get to me. I try my absolute best with all my kids, even my non verbals. I want to help them and make sure they are learning, but this kid. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m still doing therapy with him and I will still do what I normally do and try to help him but deep deep down I have given up on him. I feel guilty for feeling like this. So Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. That is my personal opinion, you care for others and I can see how a determination to do better coming from an autistic kid is iffy ( I say this in a nice way I hope that isn’t misconstrued). You will win some and you lose some. I feel you have to find the people worth your time and help them as best you can. This may sound dumb but Scrubs a TV show kinda had an episode about this and I thought it was really good. Basically this guy was always in and out of the hospital with high blood pressure and the works and didn’t pay attention to what he was told to do so they kinda gave up on him and he died. It is sad that one has to be let go but you can’t help someone if they don’t want help. Best of luck to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am one of three siblings. None of us are particularly well off. My parents (early 60s) are reasonably comfortable middle-class. All three siblings have kids. My parents have spent thousands on my two sisters to help them make ends meet for most of their adult lives. I have accepted help from my parents on occasion, but nowhere near the scale of either of my siblings. I've also been left dry when I really needed help, because of them needing it first. Ex, my college fund was spent housing my oldest sis, when I needed help replacing a vehicle that died on me, they couldn't help because they were providing in full for my younger sister. In truth, they've leeched off our parents as much as they could get away with. \n\nBecause of this, my folks have decided to leave me a larger share of their estate when they pass, and are firm that they would prefer I don't use mine to do for my sisters. She hasn't given an exact figure but it's going to be around half, with the other half split between my sisters and some of it set aside for their kids (my kids are included in my end). It depends I guess on the span between one parent and the other passing but it's potentially over 250k. I feel funny about it already, but mom's got me on paper as the executor and has started expressing to me what items she wants to go where. I told her I'd honor her wishes, but she needed to make a will because being executor and getting a larger share is going to cause so much tension between all of us. She didn't seem upset, but has since changed the subject abruptly whenever I bring it up. ######","completion":" Nta. That is going to cause a lot of problems down the line if there is no will ######"}
{"prompt":"Right. So I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. My sister recently broke her leg and she’s continuously complained about how much crutches hurt. My dad’s solution to this was to tell my sister she can use my wheelchair. I’m not comfortable with this. My dads reasoning is that I just got out of the hospital and am mostly on bed rest (not completely, I’m just supposed to take things easy for a bit) so I ‘don’t really need it anyways’ but I kinda do need it whenever I have to get out of bed. My sister is perfectly capable of using crutches and honestly I think it’s kinda shitty that my dad is letting her use my chair even when I’m not using it. My dad keeps just saying that I’m not using my chair much anyways and so it doesn’t do any harm, but my sister keeps taking my chair and leaving it by her bed so I can’t get it, then screaming at me whenever I ask for it when I need to get up. My dad has also brought up the fact that he paid for the chair and rescued me (I’m adopted) so he gets to choose what to do with it. Honestly idk if I’m in the wrong for not sharing, but at the same time I think it’s kinda bs to be expected to share a piece of necessary medical equipment ######","completion":" NTA. That is bordering on abuse that your father is using the fact that he adopted you as a way to justify taking away your wheelchair. You wouldn’t tie someone’s arm behind their back to punish them. You need to get your wheelchair back. That’s so outrageous it kinda makes me mad. ######"}
{"prompt":"So around 4-5 days ago, my (16M) mum got in a nasty argument with my older brother (17M) and as a result, demanded that all of our phones (mine, my younger sister's, 17M and my other older brother's) be confiscated and have the PINs replaced.\n\n(NOTE: She also wanted our fingerprints to be removed as well.)\n\nAlthough I had nothing to do with their dispute and had no reason to be punished, I didn't say anything and just handed my phone over. My mum was THAT angry. I'd ask my mum to unlock my phone for me to use for a while and that's how things were for the past couple of days. \n\nThis morning, I remembered a trick I learnt a while ago to force-reset my phone (no PIN needed) and I decided to pull it off. I forced factory-data reset my phone using the volume up key, lock and home button and after logging back into my Google account and data, I had my phone back - without my mum's PIN on it. I put my phone back in the charger and went to make my own breakfast.\n\nA while later, my mum realised that I had removed her PIN on my phone (I think she might have tried to access it behind my back, but I'm not sure) and she was LIVID. She berated me, saying that this phone is not my money to begin with and going as far as to resetting my phone proves her point of how much of a phone addict I am.\n\nAgain, I wanted to bring up the point that she changed our PINs only because of an argument with my brother. But I didn't say anyhing in the hopes of not getting my mum more angry and hoping that everything would blow over (which luckily for me, it did). \n\nNow I'm typing this AITA in secret and I want to get some broad perspective on this. Did I really take things too far? ######","completion":" NTA. That is an absolutely ludicrous state of affairs. It is a huge imposition to require her to use your phone and a breech of privacy to boot. Just having bought something for someone doesn't entitle you to whatever you want. There's a difference between letting someone use something you own, and giving them something. Seems clear that the phone is yours to do with as you please. Also, calling someone an addict is quite a serious accusation. To throw it around unwarranted does a disservice to everyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, \"Because I'm the parent and I say so.\" Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######","completion":" NTA. That is a very unhealthy way to raise a child. Everyone has the right to privacy. It's literally the same as if your parents watched you every time you took a shower, took a shit, or slept. Parents have control over what their child does and how they behave at home (to a certain point), but they have absolutely no control over what to say. If you are being punished for not telling secrets then that's just downright shitty parenting skills. Next time they force you to talk about it just make up some bs, and get the hell outta there once you are old enough\/have enough money. Best of luck to ya fam ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year and I only just found this subreddit. Also first ever post so go easy on me.  \nLast year one of my colleagues got diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed to go through chemo.  \nChemotherapy makes all of your hair fall out in clumps and eventually you wind up bald. Some of my colleagues, both male and female, decided to shave themselves bald to show support.  \nHowever, I hardly know this colleague (I had only been with the company 2 months) so while I expressed my support and hope he pulls through, I wouldn't be shaving my head.  \nWhen shaving-day came around, both the colleague and a few others that had shaved themselves expressed they were hurt I hadn't shaved bald and asked what was up.  \nI said I still absolutely support him in every way, but I'm just not shaving myself bald. He seemed offended and the now bald gang said I was being a dick and I might as well laugh in his face. When I asked how come they aren't giving some of the others the same lecture, apparently it was because they were women and \"needed\" the long hair.  \nI'm almost certain I am in the right and they're being unreasonable, but I need a sanity check. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta. That guy had more shit to worry about than who shaved their head to support him. What is that even doing? I get if my sister felt shit because she had to shave her head because of chemo... I would probably do it then to make her feel better. But shaving your head because someone has cancer is about as affective as changing your profile picture to a fucking ribbon. \n\nWay to use cancer to make people feel bad. Shame on them and the person who had it for also joining in. \n\nAlso, people usually shave their head for Leukaemia. There are so many more ways to show support to those who have cancer like ummm donating to cancer charities and hospitals and you know, being there for that person. \n\n\nThis post has triggered me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little bit of context; I (14M) live in NYC and have 2 siblings: my sister (23F) and my brother (8M).  We live in a brownstone where my parents have the biggest bedroom, I have the second largest, my brother has the third largest, and the other 2 bedrooms function as guest bedrooms.  My sister lives in a college dorm, and only spends breaks at home.\n\nSo until my sister went to college she lived in the second biggest bedroom (where I currently stay in), I stayed in the third largest (where my little brother currently lives in), etc.  However, once she went to college we all 'moved up a bedroom'' I guess, and now when she visits she usually stays in one of the guest bedrooms.  One thing to note is that my bedroom is quite a bit bigger than the guest room.\n\nUntil now there's never been a problem with that arrangement.  Recently though my sister had to come home due to current events, and it looks like she's going to stay until summer break ends.  In light of this she wants her old bedroom back.  \n\nMy parents agree with her, and say since she's \"older\" she should have more space, and I ought to be more understanding and whatnot.  \n\nI absolutely refuse.  All my stuff are in this room, I've stayed here for the past 5 years, and frankly, IDGAF that this was originally her bedroom.  However, my parents are basically making me, and in reality there's not much I can do about it.  So reddit, for my peace of mind, AITA for not wanting to give up my bedroom for my older sister? ######","completion":" NTA. That doesnt make sense for you to move all your stuff now then again when she leaves. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.\n\n I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her \"ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me\". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it). \n\nAITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######","completion":" NTA. That comeback was great! Seriously, unless you did something illegal\/ immoral to get said money, I don't get why she's mad at your good fortune. I may be a pretty big asshole, but I would never be mad at my younger sibling for their success\/ good fortune, that's just cold. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nToday when my sister in law came over (she's also our neighbour) her 10 year old son also came along and instantly started tellimg me about his tik tok account which has many followers.Initially, I was happy for him but then he asked me if he could download tik tok on my phone, so that i can like his videos. I told him that he can just send me his ID and I'll like his videos later since my phone might not have enough storage rn. He just forced me to download it and even started to seize it from me..since i didn't look forward to any kind of arguements or fights i told him I'll download the lite version. He agreed but my phone didn't have enough space for that either coz online school is going on and phone storage is full of notes, pdfs and stuff like that. I told him I'll download later and he started throwing a tanrtum demanding i delete some of my stuff rn i said everything i have on my phone is needed and nothing is unnecessary so i won't delete anything. He went through my gallery and started selecting my friends' pictures to delete them.. i was furious at this point coz i don't click much photos it's just a couple or three at special times. So i grabbed my phone and went in my room. My sister in law saw this and was furious at me for ruining her son's day. I told her I'll definitely like his tik toks later and i have some  assignments on my phone and I'll install tiktok as soon as I'm done with them..she was mad at me for lying about assignments and not giving importance to her son's wishes and went home without having lunch :( Am i the asshole for this?\n\n\n\n\nEdit - Thank you everyone for telling me I'm not the asshole. I was really frustrated about this since my sister in law also misbehaved with my mom when it wasn't even her fault. ######","completion":" NTA. That child sounds like a monster. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.\n\n\n\nI recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.\n\n\nLast week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.\n\n\n\nI was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Thanks, i got a chuckle out of this one. You caught her in the act whilst she was stealing your property, maybe now she’ll take the hint. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (22) was upset his girlfriend (20, still in college) cheated on him with his best friend and broke up with him right before he was going to break up with her.\n\nHe showed me his cellphone with about 30 pictures of his now exgf topless and doing other things, mainly oral. He looks at me and laughs, “I’m gonna make this b*tch famous on pornhub. He looked dead serious and said he wasn’t kidding.\n\nI tried to explain to him how illegal this is and even without his face being in any of the pictures he would definitely face charges. I also mentioned how this would ruin her reputation because she goes to school with me and people would definitely find out. He told me she’s a slut so her reputation is already ruined. I took special note of how he didn’t even acknowledge my warning about him facing charges.\n\nSo when he went to the bathroom I grabbed his phone  (it was already unlocked) and deleted the pics. I’m pretty sure I got them all. I don’t know if his icloud backed them up but I didn’t go digging around for that. I told him what I did and ran out of his apartment door as he was screaming but unable to chase after me.\n\nAITA for deleting potential revenge porn? ######","completion":" NTA. Thank you for doing that ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ######","completion":" Nta. Tell your homophobic wife to move back to the 1800s bc thats where her ignorant ideas belong ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry guys about the poor grammar and format. I'm just shaken up and I really need to vent.\n\n(I am Asian and my bf's family is black)\n\nI have been living at my boyfriends house since quarantine and instead of cleaning or watching TV together we decided to play UNO. I placed a +4 card and he had to add four additional cards to his 20-something deck. I called him \"loser-kun\" (I don't watch a lot of anime but he is a big weeb. He calls me \"apollo-chan\" or \"something-chan\" and says things like \"baka\" or \"nani.\" He did this since we have been dating in high school.) His dad looked surprised and his mom looked extremely angry. They thought I called him a \"loser coon\" (I didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up, but it is racist.) She got extremely angry at me and started screaming at me. I told her I didn't understand what I did wrong. She called me a \"Ching Chong Yellow Bitch\" (lol) and then told me to \"Get the f*ck out!\" I tried to tell her I don't understand what I did wrong but I'm sorry, but she said \"Ching Ching Chong, do you f*cking understand now? Get the f*ck out!\" I just left my clothes there and went to my mothers house. My bf called me about a few hours later saying that his mother will let me go back home once \"\"\"\"\"I\"\"\"\" apologize. I just hung up. What do I need to apologize for? I tried to explain myself but she just wouldn't listen and started saying racist stuff about me. She said we wouldn't be in this lockdown if it wasn't for \"retards like you eating f*cking bats\" She was honestly so mean to me. Anytime someone slightly raises there voice at me I wanna cry. I know I should apologize for my boyfriend. But he didn't even stick up for me. Should I call him back and just apologize? I love him but I'm starting to think it isn't worth it. I did say something she thought was racist but she called me so many racist things back. I just don't know what to do. ######","completion":" NTA. Tell your boyfriend you'll apologize for her mishearing you when she apologizes for actually being racist. Or skip that and just break up with him. He clearly doesn't respect you if he'll let his mother be so blatantly racist. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is pregnant, and she lives with us. She’s 19. My parents have made me her personal care taker. Anything she needs it’s my responsibility to get no matter what. 1 am and she wants ice cream? Guess who’s driving to the store. And that actually happened. It was before quarantine so going to the store for her doesn’t happen anymore but she’s still a bitch about everything.\n\nWhen she threw up I had to hold her hair, if she wanted a drink she couldn’t be bothered to get up, I have to get it. She’s pregnant not quadriplegic, she can get her own fucking drink.\n\nIf I ever complain about it my parents lecture me about caring for loved ones when they need it and threaten to take away my computer. I paid for the computer by the way, I worked an actual job for it, none of the money came from them.\n\nI finally lost it yesterday when she asked me to give her a foot rub. I told her I wasn’t doing that and she cried to our parents who started lecturing me. I told them to fuck off and take the computer because I didn’t care, and they called me a spoiled brat and grounded me. Not like I can go anyway, because of the virus. My sister is now demanding foot rubs again or she’ll go to my parents.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell them they both can fuck off for me too alright? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.\n\nI recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.\n\nI don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days\/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.\n\nAm I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?\n\nSo in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell roomie that you're splitting the rent and bills three ways until you can get the boy on the lease on make everything official. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids, one is 7, the other is 9 and the oldest is 17, for mothers day my wife wanted me to make breakfast for the family.  So I made waffles for everyone, my wife doesn't eat a lot so she got 1, and the younger ones get 1 as well.  My older one is a pretty big guy for a 17yo he is 6'3 and 205 right now, Its a nightmare to get him full so I made him 2 full waffles for himself and I made myself just one.  \n\nWe all eat at the dinner table and the 9yo was complaining about not getting 2 also, my oldest told him that when he gets big and strong too then he can have 2 like him.  My 9 year old got really pouty and refused to eat his food till he gets 2, cause he's a kid he got over it cause the smell of syrup was too much and ate it all up.  \n\nAfter breakfast my wife pulled me aside and said I couldn't just humor him by making a full one and splitting it with him and the youngest.  I told her that we can't give in when they are pouty, and while she agrees she said I should have at least waited till the younger one were gone to make the older one more.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell him to finish the one he's got and then you'll talk about seconds. Why let the kid waste food, in addition to thinking he gets his way if he just pitches a fit? ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?\n\nI lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.\n\nI disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light. \n\nYears later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell him he needs to learn how to not even drive an automobile, but literally back one up. He offered to do it anyway, it was his choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: My and my bf are in high school and the girls he’s dated before me have straight hair, I’ve had curly hair my whole life and take after my mom, but she always straightens hers and once I got to 9th grade I used to always straighten mine too because I never really knew how to handle it. A couple months ago though I decided to just let it be natural. I wash\/comb it thoroughly it every 3 days, but sometimes it can still get messy and frizzy.\n\nThe issue is that I started dating my bf 6 months ago and he never knew that my hair was naturally curly, so once I stopped straightening it he was surprised and asked why I never told him. Now when we’re videocalling he sometimes makes jokes about it being frizzy and “oh is there a bird hiding in it” Eventually I got annoyed and told him to stop. He complained that I deceived him by straightening my hair and not telling him it was actually curly.\n\nI got really mad and told him he was being ridiculous. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell him he decieved you by not telling you he was an idiot. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today is my (24) birthday, I just got done with work and was watching tv when my girlfriend of 4 years came in the room to tell me she made my favorite kind of pie. She then asked me if I would rather kiss her for $100 dollars or kiss the hottest girl I know for $700. Not thinking much about it I said I would kiss her for $100. She got upset that I didn’t say she was the hottest girl I knew. She stormed off to our room and won’t talk to me. To me it seems like a trick question and I don’t get why she is so mad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Tell her to spend less time on  tiktok ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is getting married a year from now and is going crazy on her wedding plans.  She knows I'm only working part-time while going through cancer treatment and am struggling financially.  She's picked out $400 designer bridesmaids dresses for us plus alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. and wants us to buy them right away.  I asked if we could look at very similar, less expensive options and she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. ######","completion":" NTA. Tell her that if she pays, you will wear anything she chooses. If you are paying, then you decide the amount to spend. ######"}
{"prompt":"We broke up recently, it was a toxic breakup, we lived together for two years... Well she jumped ship and moved in with her mom to a different state. She sends me a list of all the stuff she wants me to ship her, we are talking hundreds of pounds worth of stuff, including 3 guitars and a mountain bike. None of these things have boxes already BTW, and guitars are in soft cases. \n\nShe calls and says that they will pay me back for all shipping. I immediately get defensive and told her that I will not ship anything unless it is paid for ahead of time. I will not risk my own money to send her 3- 400 dollars worth of shipments to her. \n\nWell she was obviously very mad and hung up the phone. She told me later that her mom doesn't trust me to send her back the difference of cost... Given I have never lied or done anything dishonest at all in this relationship. \n\nAITA? I feel like I shouldn't take personal risk on this... ######","completion":" NTA. Tell her she needs to pay a company to box the stuff appropriately & pick them up. Moving companies will do this or even the UPS store will package stuff (it costs more but that’s her problem not yours). \n\nI wouldn’t ship the stuff yourself. You don’t want her to hold you responsible if things break in transit. ######"}
{"prompt":"For some context, my girlfriend and I have recently had a son, yay!! But every time my mom sees him she acts like he is her boy. This has been going on every time that she talks about him since he was born on March 21st. So, would I be the asshole for telling her that my son is not specifically her gradbaby, and is my and my gfs son?\nEdit(adding info):\nIt stresses the wifey out a lot as my mom is constantly trying to take over caring of him. She is also almost constantly complaining that she doesn't get to spend much time with him as we dont leave her alone with him much. She also refers to him as \"My baby\".\nEdit2(behavioral stuff??):\nMy mom is almost constantly hovering, just informed of this through wifey, and she has on a couple occasions told the wifey that she is changing his diaper wrong in a very condescending tone. Then whenever the wifey and I are trying to do something, like make him a new bottle, she will come in and pick him up then complain that we don't take care of him well or that she is the only one taking care of him. ######","completion":" NTA. Tell her now and make it clear or you'll be dealing with entitled grandma crap for years. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened today and I feel like it was justified. So I’m standing in line at the supermarket, and this bigger guy is behind me. There’s a really long line, and I was up next to put the groceries down after about 10 minutes of waiting. The entire time I’m waiting, I hear him complaining about how long the line is and how everything is taking so long. Once the guy in front of me gets done and there’s room to put up my groceries, I finally get ahead to put my stuff down. I’m trying to do it quickly so this guy can finally have enough room to put his stuff on conveyer belt. I dropped a few things on the ground as I was doing this, and I hear him say pretty loudly, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I gave him the death stare, pointed at him and said; “I’m trying to do this shit quickly to get out of here so I don’t have to listen to your fat fucking mouth complain every 36 seconds.” He looked stunned, and didn’t say a thing after that. The cashier chuckled a bit after I said that, and I finally got out of there. Listening to that guy complain the entire time I was there was driving me nuts, and his comment lit the match for me. Was this justified, or AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Technically what you said was shitty but honestly, he had it coming. If he can't contain his annoyance for a couple minutes then neither should you. Him complaining about the line being too long probably made the cashier anxious about their work performance even though it wasn't their fault. Keep on being awesome OP! ######"}
{"prompt":" First post, bear with me.\n\nI don't know if I'd classify my dad as a full-on Karen, but he definitely toes the line. The classic leave-the-mess-because-it's-their-job, ask-for-the-manager-if-the-food-is-late type. What really annoys me is that he never says please or thank you. I know it's not a big deal per se, but I think it's just basic manners and I call him out on it sometimes. I don't do it in front of the waiter, so it's not like I'm publicly humiliating him or anything, but he still gets very defensive.\n\nMost recently, I reminded him again to say please after ordering (probably not in the most respectful tone, I'll admit) and he just glared at me and said, \"I don't understand why you have to criticize me on everything I do.\" I assume he said that because earlier in the meal I had asked him to not chew with his mouth open (which is another thing I've asked of him to not do a thousand times before, but that's a post for another day).  Am I being unreasonable? Should I just give up? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Teaching your dad to what I believe are good manners is a good thing and that he should treat them as people and not just workers. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.\n\nToday I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.\n\nShe said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.\n\nShe got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.\n\nShe blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Teach her a lesson by getting one of those chess games for the pc. When she asks you to play her on the phone, set the pc to grand Master difficulty, and input her moves on the phone as yours on the pc. Use the grand Master moves as yours on the phone. When she gets crushed, treat her like she did to you.  \"aw is the little baby going to cry?\" see how she likes it.\n\nShe had to go first for this to work, obviously ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) have been friends with this girl (18F) for a couple of years. She’s always had problems at home and has a lot of trauma from it. I’ve always helped her and stood by her. Last year she started doing a lot of weird things without telling anyone but me. Things that could put her in serious danger, like wanting to meet up with a 38 year old man for example. This stuff put a lot of pressure and stress on me as she can be pretty mean when things are going bad as well. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to a psychologist but I, of course, can’t force her and this lead to me playing her psychologist for a long time. \n\nI was mentally and emotionally drained. It was so bad that I had to go to a therapist myself and eventually she taught me how to set boundaries. \n\nNow that she’s doing bad again and can’t talk maturely about it (but keeps dropping all her problems on me), I told her that I couldn’t do it anymore and I only wanted to deal with her problems if she was able to talk normally about them. I’ve decided not to talk to her until she comes to me. \n\nI feel really guilty about it, as she might need me. But I feel like this is for my own well-being. ######","completion":" NTA. Take care of yourself first. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was in a video call with people from school there was 34 of us. I was wearing my hair in two braids it’s a traditional hairstyle from my tribe (I’m Native American) a couple of the African kids started say I was appropriating black culture by having braids. I tried to explain to them why I had it like that it’s part of our creation story. They started talking shit about it. I got mad at them and said “a lot of different people throughout history wore braids” I was accused of being a racist and appropriating black culture.\n\nNone of the people in the call defended me I’m the only native kid at the school. They called me a redskin and other slurs and my funny of my religion I was threatened if I had my hair like that I quote\n “we will cut those shit braids out of your hair and burn them you racist pile of shit” \n\nI left the call, I thought someone would stand up for me. But apparently it was okay for the African kids too act horrible because they were oppressed ######","completion":" NTA. Swedish women wear their hair in braids, too.\n\nStatues of ancient women \"Venuses\" show hair in braids.\n\nBraids are not the cultural property of any one group. The *style* of braid, however, might be strongly connected with a group or culture.\n\nI suggest you report that incident to a trusted teacher. I don't know the laws where you are, but there may be some sort of protection because you are forced to associate with those people by attending the same school. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.\n\nWe got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.\n\nThe issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ######","completion":" NTA. Sure they might technically be step-sisters, but they definitely are not *sisters* by what you posted. They didn't grow up at all together and they clearly both do not like each other. Why should Ava have to include someone she doesn't like, and who doesn't like her, out of marital obligation? You 100% are respecting your daughter and good on you ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically my sister (14F) and I (20F) wanted a Nintendo Switch, but it costs a lot of money to get one so we decided to split the cost. Overall the switch + games + accessories cost about $420 (ayyy) and as I have a job and I’m older, I agreed to paying for most of it ($300).\n\nWe gave ourselves about 3 months to save up money, but by the end of it, my sister didn’t have enough for her $120 share (she was always spending money and hanging out with her friends.) \n\nBut I still wanted a Switch so I said I would cover her as long as she paid me back via artwork and drawings. She’s a great artist and she does do commissions, so we agreed that I would pay for her and in exchange, she would create 3-4 drawings for me. \n\nSo we bought the switch back in January and we both use it. Anyhow, I asked her to draw me a portrait of my friend for her birthday, nothing too strenuous, asked her 3 weeks in advance and gave her all the info she needed. She never delivered and i was angry, but I just bought my friend another present last minute so I wasn’t too upset.\n\nAnyhow fast forward to February and she did the same thing. Then more recently, I asked if she could draw a character I liked from a TV show and she just straight up told me that she didn’t want to, that she never wanted to, that she didn’t know why I kept asking her to draw shit and that I was not entitled to her drawings. \n\nI reminded her that her drawing for me was literally apart of the deal we had on the Nintendo switch but she said it’s been months since we got it so we should just drop it. \n\nSo I did just that and now I’m refusing to let her play the switch, of course she’s angry but I said it was technically my Switch now since I paid for it 100%. I brought it up to my mom and she said I need to be the bigger person here (figuratively and literally) and share it with my sister. AITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. Sure she's 14 but that doesn't mean she's entitled to your stuff where you've spent the time and effort to earn and save.\n\nThere was an agreement, and she failed to keep it. You tried to compromise, and she threw it back in your face. 14 is a good time to start learning about saving money, keeping to your promises etc.\n\nShe could have saved money via allowances and spent less money on going out, but she chose not to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds kinda confusing. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m french, English isn’t first language.\n\nSo right now I’m(15F) living with my brother(27) and his boyfriend(24). It’s temporary tho, I’ll be back with my parents in 2 weeks. I’ve been with them for a week, everything was going great. \n\nYesterday I got up early and I was bored,  I thought I’d make something. I found easy mug brownie recipe so I made it. I found some powered sugar and there was a tiny bit left, so I sprinkled it on top of the brownie. As I was doing that my brother’s boyfriend walked in the kitchen and saw me. He got angry and asked me what I was doing. He told me that the sugar was expired and made me throw the brownie out. He told me that they were just keeping it because of memories because they got it while traveling. My brother was kinda mad too and told me that I should’ve asked him first before cooking something. \n\nI haven’t apologized and I don’t think it’s my fault. They could’ve kept it anywhere other than kitchen if it’s just a decoration and not actually edible. ######","completion":" NTA. Sugar doesn't really expire. And nobody keeps powdered sugar \"because of memories because they got it while traveling,\" and if they did, they wouldn't keep it in the kitchen with all the other ingredients that people use regularly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make. \nI have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection. \nFast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words. \nI, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion. \nWhen I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon. \nI really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ######","completion":" NTA. Sue her for child support for fourteen years. That'll probably get rid of her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Awhile back, I (18F) had a doctor's appointment regarding some issues about my period. I hadn't had a period for about year, and I was getting worried, because I'm not sexually active. \n\nMy mom went with me to the doctor's appointment and into the room with me for the exam. When the doctor was having me lie down to listen to my breathing, she told the doctor that \"you know, she has a lot of stretch marks\". I didn't bring anything up about that at all during the exam, and it was quiet when she brought it up. \n\nIt was really embarrassing, and I tried not to cry, because I didn't want to cause issues at the doctor's office. \n\nIt wasn't until yesterday that I brought it up during a talk with her. I told her that I thought it was very rude to bring something up like that and it was mean. I told her that I don't go to her doctor's appointments and tell them about her stretch marks. She told me that she thought that the doctor should know about it. I told her angrily that if I thought it was important I would tell the doctor or the doctor would ask me about it. \n\nMy dad was nearby while we were talking and said that I was being rude to my mom who had good intentions and that I shouldn't have said that to her and should also apologize. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. stretch marks are so irrelevant to the whole situation? i cant even fathom why she thought it was relevant. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, \n\nSo I run a shop with a big window in a very busy street. For the last month, a dog has been pooping around the area of my shop, and the owners do not pick up after it. I've had my suspicions about who it was, and got visual confirmation last week.\n\nThe day after I got visual confirmation, I caught them again in the act, and snapped a picture of them. I then confronted them about it, and they basically told me to mind my own business.\n\nSo I got their picture blown up and printed with the title THESE PEOPLE DON'T PICK UP THEIR DOG'S POOP, IF YOU'VE WALKED IN POOP THEY ARE TO THANK, and stuck the poster in the window of my shop.\n\nI've been having a lot of amused comments by my customers, but the people in the picture have gone insane, and have come by the shop many times to scream at me. I told them untill they change their attitude the poster is staying up.\n\nRegarding the law, I'm not too sure what side I'm on, but not picking up their dog's poop is def illegal and can carry a hefty fine where I live (France), so I dobt they'll pursue legal action.\n\nSome of my friends have said i'm an AH for publicaly shaming them. The way I see it they brought this upon themselves.\n\nSo reddit, AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. Stores do this all the time when they post photos of shoplifters. Public shaming is a strong deterrent. I don’t know France’s specific laws on public photography, but most places allow you to photograph someone in public without their consent, so they can’t even get you there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt. \n\nSo anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent.\n\nAt this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell. \n\nWas he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ######","completion":" NTA. Steve is a handsy, horny guy, and so long as his target is consenting, whatever. But you, the boyfriend, were at the ready to help out your girlfriend, and he blocked you off to guide her into a private area, confess to her that he was in a bad spot in his relationship, and he needed her physical touch (via hugs) to give him comfort? It's weird to me.\n\nI wouldn't say you're jealous, as you trust your partner. I would say you're suspicious of Steve's intentions, and I think anyone would be. I don't want to make a leap and maybe I am, but it sounds like Steve is trying to groom your girlfriend for some intimacy. Build trust, confess vulnerability, get her comfortable with physical contact, slowly lift boundaries. Steve is a friend that's not really so friendly, as I view it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.\n\nI’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out. \n\nI don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself. \n\nWhen Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries\/internet\/cable\/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself. \n\nJoe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends. \n\nJoe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations. \n\nAITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ######","completion":" NTA. Stand your ground on this one. If you’ve been dating for 4 years, you and Joe are a team. You can evaluate ideas (like this one) on whether or not they would be good for the team. Having Dan move in would definitely not be good for the team! You’d have more stress and less privacy! Once he moved in he probably wouldn’t leave, so a trial is a no go. Can Joe offer to help him with the apartment hunting process instead? ######"}
{"prompt":"I pay for a spotify premium account. My boyfriend and I shared it, until we broke up. When we broke up, I changed my password because he never made any payments on it. \n\nHe says I am in the wrong because he has mental health issues and the music is the only way to calm him down. \n\nI dont think I should have to share because I pay for it with my own money, that I work for. I'm currently an out of work waitress so I'm doing odd jobs for my few bills. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Spotify has a free version. He'll just have to cope with the ads. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up we were not close with my dad’s family at all. All holidays and special occasions were done with my mom’s family and it was clear as I got older that there was some tension between my mother and my dad’s side of the family. As a teen, I had resentment towards my mom because I felt like she was keeping us from my dad’s family.\n\nOnce I became an adult, my mom told me how poorly she was treated by my dad’s family, mainly his sister. It was bad. My dad’s mom passed away a few years ago (she was a single parent) and my dad really does not have much living family left. \n\nI got engaged at the beginning of the year. My dad must have told my aunt because she immediately called me to congratulate us. I had not spoken to her since my grandmother’s funeral years ago. I then received a friend request from her on FB and was very surprised, because that means at one point she had to have unfriended me. (It wasn’t a new account and we definitely were FB friends a few years ago.) Once I accepted her request she took our engagement photos from my FB and posted them on her page for all her friends to ooh and ahh over.  She is one of those people that always has to show off and needs attention and validation from others. She even asked me to send her a close up of my ring, to which I said no.\n\nMy fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are currently working on our guest list and I really don’t want to invite her. I feel like she would be there for all the wrong reasons. I also don’t want my mom to be uncomfortable, even though she would never tell me if she was. My mom is a saint. I do feel bad because that is my dad’s sister and I know it would mean a lot to him if she was there.\n\nAITA for not wanting my aunt at my wedding? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds more like the aunt wants to be there for selfish reasons. Your dad might be happier, but if she's treated your mom poorly and y'all aren't close, I don't see a reason for you inviting her to the wedding. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.\n\nTo the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.\n\nWe were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like \"uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!\" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said \"if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is\". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.\n\nWhen making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.\n\nDaughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like your sister is trying to sound super “woke” and sensitive over something that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Your comment was appropriate to the conversation you were having. ######"}
{"prompt":"My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.\n\nGranddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.\n\nMy siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then \"as in granddad Charles?\" and I confirmed it.\n\nMy sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like your sister has picked up some tricks from your mom! This is a ridiculous thing to fight about, and only someone looking for a reason to peck at other people to establish some sort of control or dominance would complain about it. \n\nMy mom lost her oldest brother when she was young. Between her and her several siblings, there are at least three kids with his name as their first or middle name. Everyone just smiles and remembers how much they loved him.\n\nETA: the idea that she's calling your daughter a different name as \"a sign of respect for grandad\" is complete BS. Grandad left you most of his estate and frequently took you in. Clearly he loved you and would have been delighted that you named your daughter for him. This is a power move by your sister to show that she can control you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have. \n\nReddit AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like your grandma is either a control freak or has mental issues. Getting upset over a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo is not normal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a special tequila I got as a gift. I really like tequila and it’s my only alcohol that I drink. \n\nMy boyfriend drank the entire bottle.... i was upset and asked why the fuck he always has to drink any alcohol if it’s in the house. \n\nHe was nice and proceeded to go to multiple stores to find the tequila to replace it but was unable to so he found an equivalent. \n\nTwo days later the tequila is gone. He drank the second replacement bottle. \n\nAITA for being upset and concerned? He did buy this second bottle ######","completion":" Nta. Sounds like your boyfriends an alcoholic who doesn’t respect you or your things. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like you've kept a wonderful son and lost a rotten wife. Best of luck to the both of you! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.\n\nMy family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8\/9. \n\nWhen I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school. \n\nSome of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t. \n\nI had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.\n\nMy grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often. \n\nI still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year. \n\nI was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.\n\nI come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age. \n\nI lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.” \n\nDead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like you touched a nerve with them lol, but those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, am I right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. \"Damn, I don't want to get up.\" So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and \"isn't a mind reader\" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.\n\nAm I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like you are shouldering more of the \"mental load\" in the relationship, even if he does help out when directly instructed to. Having to be the one in charge of assigning tasks (remembering appointments, feedings...the critical but monotonous minutia of life) is exhausting and often thankless work. Definitely worth a longer conversation with your husband.\n\nYou can't expect him to read minds, no, but you can expect him to have common sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me. \n\nWhen his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out. \n\nWhy? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times. \n\n\"It's inconvenient\". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!\n\nI refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive! \n\nI'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!\n\nSo AITA for \"not caring about them and their feelings and needs\" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like they need some bus passes. ######"}
{"prompt":"(shit title - sorry)\n\nFour years ago our neighbour said she was looking for land to rent- her kids wanted a trampoline. Wife and I offered our yard because a) we had the space and weren’t using it for anything and b) why not be a good neighbour?\n\nAnd they’ve been good. The kids don’t bounce if we’re outside having a barbecue or have guests over, for example, and only a few times have I seen a horde of neighbourhood kids all bouncing in there. Normally it’s just the two kids and every winter it all gets dismantled and removed.\n\nLast week I arrived home from work and saw that the trampoline had been replaced with a new one. It’s gigantic. Takes up a lot more space than the old one did.\n\nI waited a few days for the neighbour(s) to come and explain but they didn’t so when I saw them I mentioned that it would have been nice if they’d asked me first if it’d be ok to have something that big in the yard. \n\nThey think I’m overreacting because I was fine with the last one and this should be no different. I’m annoyed they didn’t ask before moving in this monster, which swallows considerably more yard than the last one. \n\nI'm happy the kids are having fun, but I think I should have been asked, even if I would have okayed it.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like they are taking advantage of your generous nature. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (18M) sister (19F) today has worked a shift at work (6AM-11:15AM). She works in a supermarket, stacking shelves and transporting large amount of items. Of course, when she gets home, she’s really tired (as well as a complication from mono earlier this year, she gets tired easier than a normal person). Our mum comes home at 15:00, (finishing work at 14:00 and looking around the shops for an hour). She comes home and complains at my sister for having ‘tired eyes’, which she explained that she had just woke up from a nap. She then complained at us both, saying we are ‘lazy’ and ‘just like our father’ (who works 12 hour Manual labour shifts daily, so he isn’t lazy). So I defended my sister, and said I am lazy, and I’ll admit that, as I don’t do much, but she shouldn’t call my sister lazy, after being tired after working  a 6 hour shift, doing heavy exercise. After this she said she was sick of how we are treating her and left the house??\nSo are we the assholes? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like there’s more going on there with your mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.\n\nI emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.\n\nNow fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund. \n\nMy brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund. \n\nWIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like the company was too lazy to provide decent customer service and the price they paid was the Paypal reimbursement. You tried; they didn't. Keep your cash. That said, if you truly can't get past your guilt, then instead of giving the money back (to this foolish corporation) you could instead donate to a charity that speaks to your values. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start with, both my parents and grandparents are now dead. But while my grandma was alive, she told me she wanted me and my brother to have our mums share of their house when she went. Her reasoning being, her other children, my aunts and uncle, would all be giving their children, my cousins money from the house, and as our mum wasn't alive, we wouldn't benefit as much as the others.\n\nShe also saw me more as a daughter than a granddaughter as my parents were pretty useless, and she raised us more as her own children. We are also at least 20 years older than the other cousins, so are much nearer in age my aunts and uncle rather than our cousins. \n\nI then found out, that my aunt D, had persuaded my grandma to change her will so we didn't get anything from her, as in her words, we had already had our inheritance from our parents, (£30'000 from my mums pension, nothing from my dad) so we didn't deserve any more than that. My mum had been given £120'000 from an ex husband a little while before she died, but she spent it all on heroin, so we didn't see any of that. \n\nSo am I being the arsehole and being greedy for just wanting the money my grandma wanted me to have? Or am I in the right? I feel very betrayed by them, and can't seem to get over it. ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like someone needs to be cut out. Your aunt wants to be greedy then she can be greedy without you in her life. \n\nSorry, these stories irk me. Greedy people irk me. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.\n\nRight away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.\n\nSo we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.\n\nMy brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time. \n\nWhen the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.\n\nHe says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included. \n\nThen he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.\n\n ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like some serious projection from your Brother because of other issues. Unfortunately your daughter only had 1 Switch to give, so she naturally gave it to her best friend, someone that she wants to play games with. It is what it is. Not everyone gets what they want. ######"}
{"prompt":"For a little bit of context I understand it's not a bit deal we all have those dreams and I am over reacting on my part by just wanting to be alone for a little bit. My wife tells me she had a dream where we were all at my best friends house and i had to walk outside to do something. During this time she initiates having sex with my best friend. Come to find out I had my head taken off by a semi. When she brings it up she gets a big old smile and says \"yes I had sex with him\". The smile is what hurt me the most. So I go downstairs and after about 5 minutes she come down and starts hugging me so I push her away (Not violently or using any force or anything, I'm not an abuser). Then she goes upstairs cussing up a storm stars slamming doors and everything. I'm still currently downstairs becuase even though it's a dream it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt especially since it's with my best friend who I've known since kindergarten. Thank you for your time. ######","completion":" NTA. Sounds like she was trying to get a reaction out of you. It’s one thing to have a sex dream but to wake up and rub it in your SO’s face? Weird, man. If I were her, I would’ve kept that to myself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married next year and will be going dress shopping (once out of lock down) my mother has decided she also wants to try on wedding dresses along side me. \nI’ve told her no because it’s my big day and I want the attention and fun to be on me as it’s the only time I’d buy a dress of such importance. \nShe’s said I’m being unfair and unreasonable and it’s just a bit of fun. ######","completion":" NTA. Sorry, but if she's not going to let the focus be on you during the dress shopping is she going to let it be on you on your big day? ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway ‘cuz I have older kids on reddit.\n\nSo my 10 year old is suuuuuper into his iPad gaming. Roblox, Minecraft, Fortnite.... you get the picture. Anyway, one of his favorites has those app subscription services where they give you “points” and allow you to sell your stuff in exchange for $5\/month. \n\nThis sounded like a great idea to kiddo, as he has over 1000 things in his inventory that he doesn’t really use anymore. He set out to ask for permission, to which I immediately said “no”. I explained how those things tend to be kinda scammy, from making it hard to cancel, to making it hard to use the benefits, etc. 10 was sure that this game is one of the good guys and he wouldn’t have any issues.\n\nSo then mom mode kicked in. I told him if he wanted to even try to change my mind, he’d have to work for it... and even then the answer would probably be no. After three revisions and a whole week of effort, he gave us an extremely good persuasive essay, complete with research, facts, etc. it was so good that hubs and I were actually convinced to let him try.\n\nSigned him up this morning. Yeah, it’s a scam. Because of some fine print he can’t sell ANY of his 1000+ inventory. He is crushed, so so so so upset. We did send a message to their customer service, but chances of getting money back is low.\n\nI know it would help him feel better if I just gave him his $5 back out of my own wallet, but I really feel like this is a learning moment. So, Reddit, AITA?\n\nUpdate: so I probably used “scam” improperly... the app in question is Roblox, and basically the ads seem to just say “you can sell your items with membership”, but the limitations aren’t super clear, at all. So it is not a true scam, just misleading fine print, imho. Also, I was estimating his number of items, he seems to have nearly 100 hats alone! (Sorry for the estimation, I’ll be more precise next time I can get my hands on the iPad again.) He’s spent hundreds of dollars on Roblox over the years, mostly on items. ######","completion":" NTA. Sometimes kids need to learn first hand about crap like this. Especially in this day and age where scams are legit everywhere. Now he'll think twice about tossing his unwavering loyalty to a company that doesn't care about him.\n\nAll he lost was $5 and the rose colored glasses he had on for this app\/company. No harm done really tbh but I bet he learned something that'll stick with him.\n\nAnd to the people saying not the A... y'all know you can't coddle and shield kids from their dumb actions forever right? Ya gotta let kids learn stuff. :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"My (23F) lecturer (40sM) is a nice man - he genuinely cares about our wellbeing and wants us to do well, however he is an absolutely TERRIBLE teacher in every other aspect. \n\nHe drastically changed our most recent assignment the WEEK before it was due. It was worth 50% of our grade. I was the top of the class...I’ve never received below a Distinction on any of my assignments. I struggled through his “updated” assignment for days on end - I spent a good 3 hours on the day of submission crying because I simply didn’t understand what he was expecting us to achieve (I also experienced what I can only describe as a panic attack, it was scary and not something I think Uni should cause). I received a P1 on that assignment. It’s going to pull my grade and my GPA down. I’m beyond upset - I genuinely tried my hardest to fulfil his vague guidelines. \n\nMy friend whipped her assignment together the day of submission and got a Distinction. My entire group is convinced that he knows my previous grades and decided to be harsher when marking my work. I sent an email asking for more detailed feedback as I couldn’t understand what I did wrong, however he has not replied. \n\nWe have been given our next assignment - it is beyond vague. I have not spoken to a single person who actually understands what is expected. I’m extremely anxious about what is going to happen during marking. I have told him I’m nervous as I do not feel like the assignment is clear - he told me that if he manages to please me then he’ll know he’s done well as I’m the hardest to please within my year. He made this comment in front of 6 other students. I was embarrassed and hurt by this. \n\nI want to contact our head of school and make a formal complaint, however I also don’t want my Lecturer to hate me even more and completely sabotage my future grades. WIBTA for complaining, or is it justified? ######","completion":" NTA. Something similar happened in uni, but in my case a lot of people reported the professor and eventually she was replaced. If you're not learning then might as well report him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, \"I will ruin your fucking life\". \n\nAfter learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her. \n\nNow that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful. \n\nRecently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again. \n\nFed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent. \n\nShe is gone now. \n\nMy friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta. Someone who steals and makes false allegations isn’t someone you should have to deal with in your home. You need to move out and find a new roommate ASAP. ######"}
{"prompt":"About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.\n\nWe park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.\n\nWe ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is. \n\nSo we just keep it. \n\nLast Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring. \n\nSo she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it. \n\nThis morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!\n\nAlso it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.\n\nWIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ######","completion":" NTA. Someone in that house is releasing that rabbit intentionally but couldn't outright admit it.  Glad it found you! ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across. \n\nA week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.\n\nThe day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.\n\nWhile I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Someone has to act like a Mother if she's not going to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Someone in my Facebook friendlist has been posting abhorrent racist contents against black people ever since the movement started (posts that implying black people have a lower IQ than other races, using dehumanizing curse words in our native language to describe black people as a whole, etc...).\n\nWIBTA if I screenshot his posts and send them to his employer (which would likely end his career)? \n\nFor more context, I have no personal bad history with the guy, so it's purely because I think what he has been posting is very very wrong, and not because of personal revenge or something. ######","completion":" NTA. Some people just need to learn the hard way. I'd do it if I were you too, anonymously. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.\n\nBACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.\n\nNow that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.\n\nHe didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.\n\nThey sleep in till 8-9am every day.\n\nNow yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nSo this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.\n\nI told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.\n\nHe isn't speaking to me \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Some dads need to get past the idea that they babysit their kids when its convenient to them. Parenting is 24\/7. ######"}
{"prompt":"Trying to keep it short as I'm on mobile and typos galore, plus keep to the main points.\n\nBeen with my partner about a year. Stayed at his parent's house a few times. His sister is in another country so his nephews stay with his parents. They've also stayed with us during school holidays. \n\nEverytime we are under the same roof the 7 year old nephew wants to sleep in our bed. It leads to an almost daily argument.\n\nJust went to bed just now and the nephew appeared with his blanket. I took his blanket and put it back outside so he could take it to his own bed. A few minutes later my partner appears saying the nephew is going to sleep with us tonight. Sometimes I give in so I just said up to you, but my face must have said otherwise as partner directed nephew to the nephew's own bed but looked upset at me about it. \n\nA few nights ago this during the daily argument I was really stressed I just went off, not shouting, but stating it is REALLY weird in my culture for kids that age to sleep with non blood relatives, plus at his age even with parents. I asked my partner should I make a Facebook post to ask if it's okay and show him all the comments that will say \"no that's weird as hell\" etc. That's when he said OK and dropped it for that night. \n\nSelfishly I admit I want some time away from him, and sleep is the only time. \n\nBut more than selfishly, in my opinion it's just REALLY REALLY weird.\n\nI'm 32F, partner 35M (we are in a serious relationship),kid 7M. I'm European and he's South East Asian. Just to add more facts.\n\nI play with his nephew all day. We take him on trips. I buy him treats. I'm not being mean to him but I don't want him in my bed.\n\nThis happens everynight and makes me feel like an absolute devil woman though. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Societal norms aside, it's not kind of your partner to not take your comfort into account in a pattern like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside. \n\nI have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ######","completion":" NTA. So your mom expects you to drop what you're doing to sit outside with her, because she doesn't have any interest in your hobby? She probably started that argument to get you to lose interest in tie dying and sit by her ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I’m a teacher at a smallish school in a big(ger) city. I teach junior high, mostly 8th grade classes, and we all know that that’s the age kids start to find themselves and forge their own paths. I had a student this past year, let’s call them Jack. Jack is a young man who was born a girl. One day, he came to me with his best friend after school, and tearfully confessed he wanted to change his gender and go by “Jack,” and not his given name (one thing to note is while “Jack” isn’t the name he actually picked, the situation is similar to changing his name from “Jacqueline” to a shorter nickname, Jack). It very feasibly could have been a regular nickname, and in fact he’d been going by that name at home for a few years now.\n\nThe problem starts when I notified admin. I told my principal that Jack wanted to go by this “new” name and new pronouns, and at first, everyone agreed. Then, I guess Jack’s dad threw a fit (mom was okay with it though), and so ya teachers were told to stop referring to him as Jack and by he\/him pronouns - one teacher went so far as to send a mass email to the entire staff claiming this was “just a fad” and Jack would regret it down the road. I didn’t stop calling him Jack, nor did I stop referring to him as he\/him, but when I contacted parents, I was VERY careful to avoid pronouns, but I still referred to him as “Jack” in our conversations, which they never seemed to even notice. \n\nWhile in the teachers’ lounge, I slipped and called him “him” in conversation, and was berated by coworkers, then talked to by admin for being “disrespectful.” I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong by continuing to call him by his preferred pronouns and an already established nickname, especially since I never did it in front of any other students or staff, and to lessen the blow to Jack’s mental health\/self-identity. So I’m wondering, I’m I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. So what if is a fad? Let the kid explore the identity during youth. If it just a fad it will pass like any other fad, as long as no life changing decisions are made kid will be fine, and if it isn't, they are just being people the child cannot count on. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live one hour away from my parents, in a house with 5 housemates. Without asking, my mom called me to not ask, but TELL me that my sister will be moving in. \n\nMy sister? She lives with my parents. She is 18 and a slob. My parents have kept my room as is since I’ve moved out. I sleep in my old room when I come to visit. Once, I found a used condom in my old room because she snuck a guy upstairs. Why my old room? Because it's clean. Her room is not only messy, but musty, because of all the old food\/moldy starbucks fermenting in there.  \n\nMy sister didn’t ask. My mom didn’t ask. I was just told. I live in a small room that cannot accommodate another bed, and the bed I currently have now is a twin. They expect me to continue paying for my rent without pitching in. But most of all, I refuse to share my room with a slob. What do I do? AITA if I refuse?\n\nI told them no. That I would have to ask my landlord and housemates first. My mom doesn’t believe my landlord nor my housemates have a say because I “pay for it.” My response: \"Ok so since one of my roommates has a bf and she pays her rent, does that mean he can live with us? No, I don’t think so. That’s not how it works.” \n\nTL;DR: My mother informed me that my slob of a sister will be moving in to my tiny room without asking. AITA for refusing? ######","completion":" NTA. So they never asked just assumed that what they say will happen. You shouldn't even have to run and hide behind your landlord or housemates, just tell them no and why. If they can't handle the truth then they need to change not your decision.\n\nJust my opinion: I grew up with my family telling me i \"have to do\" something for them. I stood up for myself telling them no that's not how it works, ask if I can do it or don't bother coming to me. You should learn to do the same if that's how they are. ######"}
{"prompt":"This argument happened over FaceTime but it was pretty big and my dad is furious at me and has been sending angry text messages so I’m taking it here. \n\nI (32M) was FaceTiming my dad (57M) and his girlfriend (27F) on Tuesday when they surprised me that my dad had proposed. I don’t like my dads girlfriend and to be honest I think she’s only with him because he’s fairly well off. My dad cheated on my mum with the girlfriend and I’ve heard she was pretty ruthless in going after my dad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I held my tongue and congratulated them and that was that. \n\nLater that day I was skimming Facebook and his girlfriend has written this long Facebook post saying how excited she was to be getting married and that after 10 years together, she didn’t think he’d ever propose, how it had been a difficult start and lots of people didn’t accept their relationship (no shit, he was married) but she hopes everyone can be happy and accept they’re in love.\n\nThis pissed me off. She didn’t accept my parents were in love when she pursued my dad did she? So I commented saying maybe she would’ve been engaged before now if she had started dating a single man instead of running after married men. \n\nMy dad FaceTimed me this morning and BLEW UP saying he’d noticed his girlfriend upset and she’d eventually said something. Apparently she deleted the status but lots of people saw it. My dad is furious at me and says I need to apologise. I probably didn’t help by asking if she would apologise to me for ruining my family and destroying my mother. \n\nMy dad is now saying unless the next thing he hears from me is an apology, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I mentioned this to my girlfriend (32F) and she’s very diplomatic and doesn’t say anyone is an asshole so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong and should just apologise.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. So they got together when he was 47 and she was 17? Why do you have any contact? She isn’t the bad guy here no matter how easy it would be to see that. She was a kid and he was a disgusting predator. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup. \n\nOne of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.\n\nEvery time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.\n\nLast week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.\n\nOn the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said \"Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?\"\n\nShe was like \"did you come here just for this?\" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.\n\nShe got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.\n\nThe cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.\n\nLucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.\n\nI feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.\n\nAITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######","completion":" NTA. So she had money but planned to not pay her share anyway? Fuck that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandfather died at the age of 83. He had like 5 or 6 brothers\/sisters, so the family is quite big and almost everyone (4 generations) came to his funeral.\n\nEveryone met at the cemetery reception\/outside. There were more people than I could even count, and I didn't even know half of them. So, as people gravitated together in groups of the same age, it didn't take long to get really awkward. Imagine meeting a third cousin for the first time in such a situation.\n\nSo, with the intention of breaking the ice, I did a couple of jokes, nothing inappropriate, just enough to people crack a smile, and it did work, the tense\/awkward atmosphere got way better. Except for my sister, who kept crying copiously all the time, so I left her alone, everyone did.\n\nOn the inside and during the ceremony I was totally silent. Nevertheless, after the fact, my sister called me asshole for making jokes at that time.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. So long as they weren’t offensive or at your grandfather’s expense. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nBefore I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWe've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.  \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. So let’s be clear. \n\nShe has large savings. The ability to move. The ability to get a roommate... are you really concerned she would be homeless? If she is homeless with all those things going for her she is either daft or very lazy. Neither of those things are attractive in a partner. \n\nWhat this comes down to is she wants to live in her apartment by herself, but not pay the amount needed to live by herself. You should be saving money, friend. Why would you pay for an apartment you are not living in? And why are you coming to Reddit to answer this problem. \n\nIf you said to your friend or family member. Hey. I’m getting deployed, and my girlfriend that I don’t live with wants me to pay half of her rent. Not because she is in financial trouble, but because she wants to live by herself for a while while I’m gone. What do you think of that situation? They would probably tell you not to do it. \n\nAlso, I’m not sure how long you will be gone. But does this involve you signing a lease? Because if she decided she wants out of the relationship while you are gone, you are still obligated to pay half the rent, and she gets that whole place to herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been together for 16 years and have always had multiple dogs. We currently have 4--2 Akitas, a Rottweiler and a Westie. About a year ago, her grandson was bitten by his dog (at his home) and ever since then my wife has become increasingly hostile to our dogs (No lasting damage to the boy). Now she has them barricaded in the back yard and a small section of the kitchen whenever she is home. She was the driving force in buying each of these dogs. She picked out every one of them. She named them. I love them all like crazy. I don't like seeing them treated differently. She says it is not because of her grandson being bitten by another dog--rather, they are just dogs and she is tired of fur\/sweeping\/cleaning. I told her the time to have figured that out is before you got 'em and now they are members of the family (And have been for 8 years, 7, 6 and 2...so not a new situation). She thinks I am picking the dogs over her. Hell, maybe I am. But, problems and all, they are total love. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. So let me get this straight. Your grandson, at his own home was bite by his own dog, not one of your dogs and now your wife wants to suddenly start testing then like garbage? Yea you’re not the asshole and honestly i would pick my dogs over her any day because that’s absolutely ridiculous. When you get a dog you have to already know they’ll shed and you have to clean up after them so i don’t understand why she’s now using that as an excuse to get out of taking care of them. Those are your fur babies and should not be treated like crap. NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Context\nMe 16m and my brother 12m get along pretty much well.\nHe will more often than not though *always* leave a dish or crumbs or idk something left over on my bed after he was in there for a little bit and its gotten annoying.\nSo for the past idk month or so whenever he left something on my bed instead of throwing it away or taking it to the kitchen I just have been moving them to his bed and hoping that'd make him stop.\nWell today this happened but he left a contained of raspberries on my bed. So lile usual I moved them.\nWell cue a few hours later he goes back and sees them there. And pulls back the bed sheet to reveal the juices leaked and left a stain on his mattress. He gets mad and goes to the other side of the house.\nThis includes him telling my mom what happened and her getting mad at me for not putting stuff back that he leaves behind. I tell her I tell him to and he doesn't but she just walks off hearing nothing of it \nAt this point i felt bad for the stain so i went and got some peroxide and a crappy towel and got to work.... Voila stain is gone in like 2 minutes.\nHe's still mad at me as is my mother but idk what to do about it at this point\nReddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. So if it had leaked on your bed that would’ve been ok? He’s a kid and needs to learn responsibility. Maybe you should have a heart to heart about this with your mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? \n\nSo first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going\/ what we are doing. \n\nSo anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA. So  he makes you wear them then complains about the noise they produce? What a ridiculous man. Your husband sounds controlling and petty, and this whole post reads like a glaring red flag. I am easily overstimulated by noise, so I can understand to a tiny degree *but* I would never get angry with someone over something like this, and he's in a public place where there's going to be a lot of noisy footfall. \n\nThe fact that he demands you wear heels is also fairly alarming. Long term, repetitive use of heels can and will cause a lot of foot and ankle problems as you get older. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and the gf decided to watch an episode of this show we are watching and about 30mins in I go to check my phone to reply to a message and she slaps the phone out of my hand on to the bed.\n\nI huffed and said can she not do that and as soon as I picked the phone up she did it again.\n\nI got annoyed and said to her sternly I did not like that she did that and she thought I wasn't being serious the first time and said it was just a joke.\n\nI told her I didn't find it funny because I was just replying to a message and also she could damage the phone. She said I was just mindlessly scrolling through my phone and that I'm being ridiculous if I think her slapping my phone could actually break it because we were on the bed.\n\n\nShe's now sad because I flipped at her about it and that I'm over reacting because she can't understand how I don't find it funny.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Slapping anything, anywhere out of anger or annoyance is a total no-no. Doing it a second time after being asked not to is even more of a no-no because it's physical aggression *and* violates a stated boundary. Getting \"sad\" at you being upset over her doing those things is manipulative and, for me, would be edging very close to a third-strike, game-over situation for me. I would straight up tell her that I will not be guilt-tripped into feeling bad about calling out inappropriate behaviors - she's a grown up and should use her fucking words. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.\n\nI recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.\n\nI don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days\/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.\n\nAm I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?\n\nSo in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ######","completion":" NTA. Six days a week is excessive. He sounds like a nice enough guy, but he should at least be offering to contribute to bills. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is an awkward one... so making it short\n\n\nI am a 22 year old guy living with parents right now. My 84 year old grandmother, after the death of her husband, became depressed and her health declined rapidly. She has become quiet and frail, with the intelligence of a baby, and she cannot even eat or go bathroom without help. \n\n\nMy parents were out for a while and they've asked me to keep an eye on grandma till her caretaker arrives. She was supposed to come by 4.30pm. Grandma was sleeping so it should have been a breeze, or so I thought. \n\n\nAround 3pm, grandma peed herself. She was not on diapers because she could make noise when she needed to go, but this time she did it on her bed directly. \n\n\nI cleaned her up. When I say cleaned, I don't think you need more hints. I kind of carried her off the bed, pulled off her pants and you know, wiped her clean and changed her a pair of clean pants. Hey she is an old woman and could not help herself, so I help her, nothing inappropriate, or so I thought.\n\n\nBoth my parents and the caretaker gave me very weird looks after telling them what I did. I wasn't scolded or what, just told that if there were a next time, to call the caretaker instead and she would come sooner. My mother also said that it was incredibly rude and disrespectful to touch my grandmother as a guy, even if she barely had much awareness.\n\n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA. Sitting in urine covered clothes can lead to skin breakdown, infections, hospitalization or even worse. As awkward as it might be, you did the right thing and potentially saved your grandmother a lot of pain and suffering down the line. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's an open secret in my office that my boss, one of those raving fundamentalist types, puts things like ideological conformity first and foremost when doling out opportunities for advancement.\n\nYes, I know that's technically illegal, but we're in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas and half the time the police won't even respond to a burglary in progress, let alone petty shit like this. Plus I wouldn't put it past them to side with my boss, given how common people like her are around here.\n\nI got the idea of maybe faking a religious persuasion along the lines of what my boss holds, purely for the sake of climbing her little list of who to favor?\n\nIt's kind of scummy, sure, but it's the only way to advance around here - trust me, I've tried looking for other work in my field, and there isn't any unless I move completely out of state - and it's not like she should be using this as a criteria anyways. ######","completion":" NTA. Since it shouldn’t be relevant anyway, lie your heart out. But FYI the police are not the ones who respond to or investigate this type of discrimination. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and I are extremely close, he got engaged a few months back and we are all happy for him and his fiance. I am also close with his fiance, she is a sweet girl but suffers from chronic migraines at least 4 times a month (these are so bad that she literally just sleeps all day when these hit) and is very depressed.\n\nA couple days back she learned I was hiring and reached out to me to ask if I would consider hiring her as I own a small business. I told her I would think about it but ultimately decided no as her chronic migraines would mean she would not be able to come into work at least 4 times a month meaning I would have to re-distribute her responsibilities to my other employees which is not fair to them.\n\nI told her I would not be hiring her, and she asked me why so I was honest with her and told her that I would not be able to accommodate her for the days she is off as my current employees only get 1 sick day per month. This caused her to throw a fit and explain that her disability is none of my business and that it would not be fair to discriminate against her because of this, she also told my brother this and things have been pretty tense between us although I expect this to blow over.\n\nAm I the asshole for not agreeing to hire her? Laws in my country are very strict to the point where if I hire her I would not be able to let her go because of her disability unless I pay her out. I would essentially be stuck with a part time employee earning full time salary which I can not afford nor do I think is fair to me or my employees. Am I wrong?\n\nEDIT; I feel I should include that I am not just assuming that she will not be showing up to work for at least 4 days. She used to work at a different place that ended up bankrupting because of COVID-19 and throughout her career there she would never go in to work when she had her chronic migraine episodes (because she physically\/mentally couldn't). ######","completion":" NTA. Should've just told her that you don't like to associate business and family. Would've been more understanding and the drama would've been avoided. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######","completion":" NTA. Short of a truly dire situation, minor-age children should absolutely NOT be relied on as regular childcare for other minor-age children. Watching your baby brother for maybe and hour here and there is one thing, but entire days\/night? AW HAIL NAW! If your mom and her bf couldn't afford daycare while they were at work, or couldn't at least change their schedules so one of them could be home, then they had NO business having a baby. Doing so was a completely selfish choice on their part. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account.  It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends.  I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face.  When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone.  I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that. \n\nMy friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again.  I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.  \n\nMy sister called me a \"fucking snitch\" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues.  I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ######","completion":" NTA. Shes being mean, she gets what she deserves ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share. \n\nNeither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the \n dishes. She never washed the dishes. \n\nSo I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.)\n\nRecently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food?\n\nAITA for not wanting to buy her food? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s your roommate you aren’t obligated to buy her anything. She’s not your child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically\nI was home alone so I thought \"I'll clean my room\".\nI've put some of my anime music on my TV, it wasn't even loud, and started cleaning.\n5 minutes later my neighbor ring my bell and started yelling on me saying that I'm listening Satan's music and I should stop doing that because it's bothering her.\nI've just said \"You don't hear me complaining about you listening to your church music at 7 am every day\" and then she got angrier saying that I was possessed by the devil, that she is gonna complaint to my parents to take me to the church, that's why I never get a girlfriend, and why I have depression and stuff like that...\nAfter all that I've just said \"Ma'am you should take care of your life and I'll take care of mine, and be careful Satan's love people who takes care of other people's life's\".\nShe left angrier saying that my parents will know about that.\nSo in the end I was asshole in all that situation?\nPS.: I'm 24 y and she must be 50\/60 I think. ######","completion":" NTA. She’s the asshole. Probably racist too if she thinks Japanese is “Satanic.” ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (20M) am friends with her (20F). She moved from America with her family around a year ago for permanent here to England.\n\nOne of the things she was surprised by was the usage of the word cunt. She came with me to a lot of parties and would hear the word used a lot by both guys ans girls.alike. \n\nShe definitely was shocked by it. \n\nWell we face timed yesterday and she said that when lockdown is over and parties happen again, she is going to \"take a stand\" whenever she hears the word used in a social setting. \n\nI told her that's a bad idea as the cultural connotation of the word in the UK, especially among younger people, is massively different to America. It's the equivalent of telling people to stop saying the word mate, that it wouldn't go down well if she tried to police that word.\n\nExample of the times shes disliked use of the word, at parties people would say \"hey up cunt\" to one another (noone said it to her but she saw other people say it to others), \"you daft cunt\" (in a joking maner) etc.\n\nWell I told her my view that cunt is one of those things she just has to accept is different here and she got upset and called me ashole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s the asshole for not believing a person from the UK about what’s common IN the UK. Though I’d love to hear how her taking a stand against its use works out for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try and keep it as brief as I can. I own my house, and have a tandem driveway with a rental house. The owner is an older lady who inherited the house when her mom died (she's about 75 and lives downtown). For the past 10 years, a new tenant moves in, I become friends with them, and then they leave because the landlord won't do anything to fix the house. She also won't allow anyone to pay for improvements (example: they wanted to rip up and replace the moldy carpet in the bathroom and she wouldn't let them). There's termite damage, water in the basement, and all of the locks are broken. The house is falling apart and hasn't had a single improvement for at least 60 years. I hate the rotating door of tenants that are moving in, getting fed up, and moving out. The latest tenant just told me they're moving (ill miss them!)... and I want to report the house for code violations after they leave.  \n\nThe landlord hasn't registered the house as a rental, and never gives them their security deposit back... even when the tenants try and fix the house as much as they can. I hate this rotating door of new neighbors. SO. I want to report all of the code violations to the city, knowing full well that the owner doesn't have the money to fix them.  I'll be honest--- I want the city to tear down the house, buy the lot and start a neighborhood garden.\n\nAITA for reporting the house and creating a hardship on an older lady on a very fixed income? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s running a scam on renters and making it the community’s problem. She’s not even part of that community if she lives in a different area. I’d go a step further and say you have a morale obligation to report the house and protect future renters from the deposit scam. If I were in your position, I’d ask to be allowed in to your neighbor’s house while it is still theirs. Take pictures and make specific notes of code violations. Maybe you can convince them to stay or at least wait a while to see how this plays out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok I'm on mobile so please bear with.\n\n***I am so sorry if this is triggering for someone dealing with an eating disorder.***\n\nMy sister (30) had bulemia when she was in college but no longer suffers from it. (I mean no one completely gets over it but it doesnt affect her day to day anymore).\n\nI (23F) have developed an anorexia when I was 15 too, however mine still impacts me in day to day, I've been in Therapy for 5 years already.\n\nShe recently broke up with her long term boyfriend and has gotten back into fitness and gym, especially during lockdown she went for runs more often as an excuse to leave the house. She has lot weight and seems genuinely happier in herself and I'm happy to see her more confident in her self.\n\nAnyway, she will constantly tell me how much weight she lost in numbers and what she eats (and doesn't eat). Point out things in her body that she doesn't like and will consistently ask me how she looks. One instance she kept saying \"be proud of me, be proud of me\" and I had to tell her that I'm proud of her dedication and how much happier she is but I am not comfortable with commenting on someone's weight and prefer is she didn't constantly talk about the benefits of losing weight.\n\nShe got upset and told me I was being selfish and parents agreed with her too. I guess I am being selfish but I need to put boundaries. Aita for \"being too sensitive\"? ######","completion":" NTA. she’s not respecting boundaries. this is clearly affecting you emotionally. i’m sure there’s plenty of other people she could talk to about this ######"}
{"prompt":"Picture it.... \nWith all of my extra time, I have become ( or so I think) a master landscaper- working nonstop on my yard. \nIts today, April 1. \nI causally look out my front window with my dog. Something has his attention, and I notice an old woman walking her dog, who’s not so casually sniffing around my yard. \nThis dog is going to shit on my pride and joy yard. The empty soul of a gambler in me, takes the money line that this dog is going to shit in my yard and I parlay it with she’s not going to pick it up +500.\n\nThe dog begins to circle. Here we fucking go!!! Game on. \nThe little Dude finishes up and the owner- no surprise, continues on with her walk. \nWith the limited social contact I’ve had, I’m excited for the opportunity to introduce myself to this old lady. \nI grab a bag, pick up the dogs mess, follow her down the street and give her back the mess she didn’t pick up. \nMe: Excuse me, hi. Yes\nYou left this on my yard. \nShe acted like she had no idea what had happened\n“Oh my, really? I can’t believe that. I don’t think it was me.”\nMe: I watched you let it happen, and then you walked away.  Here, you can have this back. ::hands bag of shit to old lady:: have a nice day!\n\nWhile walking back to my house, I felt like an asshole. Did I really just chase an old lady down to scold her for not picking up dog shit? Who am I? \nIt’s fucking gross that people don’t pick it up, it’s infuriating to me since I always pick up after my dog. \nAm I the asshole?\n\nTL:DR an old lady let her dog shit in my yard, I chased her down to give it back to her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s guilty. She lied about it. You were pretty darn polite about the whole thing and bet she won’t let her pup poop on your lawn again ######"}
{"prompt":"A long story pretty short, my dad gave my mother a necklace with a pink diamond in it when they got married, which he got from a housewife he worked as a butler for years before that. She gave the necklace to me when I got married but the clasp was broken so I couldn't wear it.\n\nI was planning to give it to my daughter but after having four boys my husband and I have let that go and I thought it would be nice to give it to my niece for her next birthday. I asked her to make sure she even wanted it since she's not much of a jewelry person but she was surprisingly excited for it and we sent it in to get fixed.\n\nThere was an unnecessary fight between my niece and my sister about her current boyfriend which resulted in her cutting my sister off. Since I was behind my sister (but definitely not involved) I was also unfortunately cut off and somehow got most of the name calling.\n\nNow I'd completely forgotten about the necklace until this morning when the jeweler called and said my niece was there to collect the necklace and wanted to make sure it was okay. I thought about it and decided to rather hold off giving it to her since she cut us off and I'd never actually worn it before. I told him I didn't send her and that I'll collect it tomorrow. Am I an asshole for doing this? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s got some balls on her still going to just pick it up like it’s all good. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I am a White and Japanese 17 year old non-binary person. My dads father came from Japan and met my paternal grandmother a White woman. My dad married my mother (an blue-eyed irish polish white woman) and had me. I came out with curly, (My mother) dark hair (My dad) and blue eyes (My mother) I am pale. \n\nMy maternal grandmother (White, Catholic woman) has always been pissed off about my mom having a kid with another race. She refuses to accept my Asian culture. \n\nI am visting my grandma, and I have been missing my dad's cooking  (He's an amazing cook) and I asked my grandma if we could go to a Japanese store to get some food items I needed to make stuff. She sighed and huffed \"When are you going to realize you're not Asian\" I corrected her saying I very much am Asian she told me I didn't look like it. I told her that I got that from my mother, she told me I am in no way Japanese and I should stop appropriating their culture. \n\nI got mad and stormed off, I really wasn't in the mood for aruging. She has met and seen my dad, but my paternal grandfather died from a heart attack before I was born, and neither me nor my maternal grandmother has met him.\n\nI have tried talking to her about it, but she always fires back with \"But you look white, therefore you are white\" I really don't know what to do or say to her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s being racist and close minded. Even if you look white you seem to have been raised with and by Japanese culture...it’s in your heritage and upbringing. It’s not like you’re a totally white person who just became obsessed with anime and now pretend they’re Japanese to like fetishize Asian ppl or something. Just tell her Japanese heritage is a part of you and how you were raised and there’s nothing she can do or say about it...and then refuse to argue with her about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend posted a massive status on Facebook after discovering her bf cheated on her. She then called me crying basically saying the same thing. How her boyfriend cheated on her with another woman, how devistated she is, how she is a strong woman who doesn't need that, how men can never be trusted and finally how she would never do that to anyone she loves. I listened to it all, listened to her cry and feel sorry for herself. If it was any of my other friends then I definitely would have reacted differently but I know this girl way too well, she is my best friend and we have are always honest with each other.\n\nShe then was looking for reassurance but I didn't give her it. Instead I said this:\n\n\"Sorry if you are looking for a pitty party or for reassurance then you have definitely came to the wrong place. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who themselves cheat on every person they have been with and brags about it. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on. Sucks he did that? Of course it does but it's hard to pitty someone who does that shit themselves. Mate I do love ya but in all honesty I can't feel sorry for you right now. I have never agreed with cheating, don't like him doing it, never liked you doing it but I can't feel bad for you because you are being a huge hypocrite... sorry\".\n\nShe was really insulted about that. She started screaming down the phone how I'm meant to be her friend but what I said was bitchy and what assholes say. Claimed I slut shamed her and said I was an asshole. Personally I don't see that as slut shaming at all when she has literally bragged about getting with guys behind their gfs backs and being with guys behind all her exes backs. She has never felt bad about any of that and actually was proud of her actions. So why should I feel sorry for someone who does that themselves?\n\nAITA for saying that?\n\nEdit: She is my best friend and I love her like she is my sister but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. ######","completion":" NTA. She’s a huge hypocrite if she thinks her cheating is any different, and honestly deserved to get a taste of her own medicine. Whether she wanted to hear that or not, it seemed necessary at this point. Maybe it’ll prevent her from doing it again in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.\n\nShe always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.\n\nI tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I \"have to do it\", because it's \"part of a routine\". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.\n\nAm I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######","completion":" NTA. She’s 12, so she’s definitely old enough to do things like get a drink or plug up her phone. Asking for favors like that once in a while is common, but it shouldn’t be such a frequent occurrence. ######"}
{"prompt":"I might have overreacted, but here goes. I (25f) have a 30 year old sister, and she is very controlling and loves telling me what to do, as well as our two brothers. Bit of a control freak who involves herself in everyone's business. She's a bit obsessed with my hair, it's thick and hers is very thin, so you know what I mean there, wishes she had hair like mine. She's always touching it, playing with it, stuff like that. Whatever, doesn't bother me that much. \n\nWe're all still at home, I definitely cannot afford to get my own place for another while and she is looking for a house close to the family house and her work. There have been instances when I am in the bath washing myself, and she will come in to wash her hands or brush her teeth. I don't think she comes in with the deliberate intention of this, but she still does it and the last time I lost it. When she is standing there doing her stuff, she will watch me washing my hair. This isn't prolonged or anything, but she still does it. Standing at the sink doing whatever and watching me. \n\nThe last time this happened I lost it. Screamed at her to fuck off and that she's a creep and a pervert. She's always been the golden child, so I got told off by our mum to stop shouting and sister had the gall to tell me to stop shouting as well and to watch my language. I might have overreacted but I think it's unfair to just stand there watching your own sister, naked in the bath having a wash and commenting on how she washes her hair, not having any boundaries for someone else's privacy and dignity. I know that she didn't come in deliberately to watch but that's not the point. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She's watching you wash your hair in the shower\/bath and commenting on it? That's incredibly creepy and a huge invasion of privacy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ######","completion":" NTA. She's the one at home making the mess, and not cleaning up after herself while you are out earning an income; assuming you are not a total slob at home.  The reason she is getting pissed of is because she knows its true and doesn't want to deal with it.  Keep engaging. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my mother spent money she didn't have, couldn't pay rent and is now living with me and my wife. She wanted to pay me rent while she lives with us, but I said she didn't have to so she could pay her debt and get a place of her own sooner. So she said she would be cleaning the house to compensate, I said she didn't need to as I've been doing it for years just fine. She insisted, I gave up trying to argue.\n\nOne of the reasons I didn't want her to clean the house is because she is too perfectionist when it comes to that, everything has to be shining. Me and my wife don't mind a little mess every once in a while. Another thing I hated while growing up living with my mother is that she has a habit of changing the furniture out of places, but that wasn't much more than a mild inconvenience then; but now it's just being an asshole, since my wife is blind.\n\nEven thought I expected it to be clear, I explicitly told my mother that she wasn't supposed to change anything out of place since my wife was used to things being where they were and that's how she navigated around the house.\n\nIt started with the trash can in the kitchen, then the sofa, then the fridge and finally yesterday she cause my wife to trip and bruise her knee by moving the dinner table a few inches.\n\nI told my mother that I  finally had enough and if she couldn't keep up with the rules at my house she would have to go. I talked to my wife later and she says I went too far and would be an asshole if I kicked out my mother. Wife says she doesn't mind it as it was just a bruise. I think it was just a bruise now, next time could be a broken arm. ######","completion":" Nta. She's taking advantage of you and risking your wife's safety. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class. \nTill this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character. \nAITA ?? ######","completion":" NTA. She's TA, not for asking you to skip class, but for guilting you into it and then bringing up the fact that you ALMOST didn't skip class three months later. It may seem like a trivial matter but it's a red flag about her neediness and desire to shame you into catering to her demands. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sometimes I like to get high then go for a long walk with headphones in and just get lost in the music I'm listening to. It gets me outside, get me moving, and I feel super happy and relaxed when I get back inside. \n\nYesterday I decided to roll a joint and smoke it as I walk. Usually I do this at night, or smoke before leaving the house if its day time. Yesterday I did not (it was about 3-4pm). I smoked half, walked for about an hour, then decided to smoke the other half. As I'm lighting up and taking a couple puffs, a lady sitting in her yard with a kid (preteen I guess? 12-14 ish) put her hands up with a wtf look on her face and yells to me that I can't be smoking weed out on the streets like that. Now I know she didnt mean legally, as I live in Canada and it's been legal for over a year by now. She obviously meant morally, I assume because her kid was outside seeing this too.\n\nI didnt think it was a big deal, but it immediately ruined my buzz and I spent the rest of the walk worrying that I'm being disrespectful or maybe just unintentionally promoting something negative?  I dont know.. should I just make a point of smoking beforehand or is it okay to smoke outside on a walk the same way one would smoke a cigarette? ######","completion":" NTA. She's probably just concerned about her kid and drugs and setting a \"bad example\" for him. However, I think you should avoid smoking near people if you're walking in public, even if it is legal to smoke anywhere. ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc. \n\nIn that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:\n\nShe is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)\n\nInitially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis. \n\nAnyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ######","completion":" NTA. She's probably insecure, though, and trying to look knowledgeable but she's just coming off as a jerk. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been friends with this girl for a short while and she has this habit of playing devil's advocate in conversations to see the 'true side of me' as she puts it, her reasoning is that if she doesn't do it I won't give my true opinion.\n\nShe's done it since we met, I don't even know who she is since she always seems to be lying. She does it over topics such as depression, evolution, or any other topic that is much lower in weight.\n\nToday we got into an argument about the existence of God to which I blew up because she had been starting these discussions about religion and God for a while, I just took it as a religious person trying to convince me. \n\nWhen I blew up she told me she was actually an atheist, not a Muslim. I asked her why she continued to make these arguments if she knew she was an atheist all along and she just said that she wanted me to blow up so I could show her how I truly think.\n\nShe always cites wanting to be a lawyer and that lawyers do this and I'm just sat there thinking, 'that's really screwed up'. I feel like some sort of lab rat that she finds interesting and wants to extract information from. \n\nI've asked her to stop but she always does it subtly. \n\nI've been thinking of cutting ties recently and this just encouraged me to do it even more. ######","completion":" NTA. She's playing mind games and gaslighting you for kicks.  I encourage you to cut ties - while trying so hard (for reasons unknown) to see \"the real you\", she isn't letting you see the real her.  You deserve genuine friends who genuinely interact with you. If she wants to play devil's advocate, she can say so like a normal person, \"But playing devil's advocate, suppose that I was XYZ, or you saw ABC, wouldn't that change your position?\" ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now (the first time we went on a date and kissed passed a few days ago, she didn’t even mention it but I did). But I’m not too mad because our official relationship began about a couple months later. \n\nSo we have a dog together. She’s upset that I didn’t FaceTime her with our dog saying happy Mother’s Day. We are in a lost distance relationship.\n\nShe’s super mad at me saying I never do anything special. But I tried to explain that if we were to celebrate this, we should do it on pet parents day. She says whatever and hung up. I get that I forgot to do that but like, is it really that big of a deal?\n\nDon’t get me wrong, I love my dogs and I understand they can be very difficult to take care of but celebrating it the same day people with actual kids? ######","completion":" NTA. She's not a mother, and there's no reasonable expectation that a person should interpret Mother's Day to mean \"owns a pet.\" I am assuming she did not extend you the same courtesy on Father's Day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a very close friend, J, we have known each other for over 20 years, lived together, talk regularly, supported each other through ups and downs and since we both lost our parents have said how much we regard each other as family. Truly, we have always said how we feel like sisters.\n\nJ is getting married next year, to a great guy and I'm thrilled for her.  She has another friend she has known since school, this friend B is not a great friend.  She was not supporting of J's engagement, was mean about J's choice of outfit as it isn't a traditional white dress and said she doesn't want to be part of the wedding party as she doesn't want to be 'the fun police'.\n\nI saw J this weekend and she said she had something difficult to tell me, she and her fiance have decided to have a family only wedding (when I first heard this I thought, I honestly thought Id be included) mainly because she doesn't want to invite B and J said she can't invite me and not B as that would create drama.\n\nI said she should have whatever wedding she likes, it's her day.  I didn't tell her that I am truly crushed she doesn't include me as her family after so many years of saying I am. I have no blood relatives left, they all died so this is a real blow.\n\nHowever, this is the AITA bit.  J has said she really wants me there when she gets ready on the morning of her wedding, helping her get ready etc and also to organise her Hen party and help with planning her wedding - but I wont be going. To any of it.\n\nAITA for saying no?  I really want to be part of her day but I think this is just unfair on me.  \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\ntl;dr:  Im not being invited to my best friends wedding because she doesnt want to invite her other friend and doesnt want to upset her and is using a 'family only' wedding as and excuse. Yet she wants me to do all the things I would have done if I were invited and acting as her bridesmaid. ######","completion":" NTA. She's more concerned making drama with someone who she clearly doesn't want there, but still wants your support only to leave you out behind the door later? Looks like your friend is not that good of a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for privacy reasons.\n\nMy (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. She's likely feeling a bit raw and disappointed over the lost opportunity, but you were well within your rights to say that you were elected to a position. It's okay to have success, as long as you weren't being over the top about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"About six months ago I installed security cameras on my property. One indoors to monitor the baby's room and three outdoors: one facing the porch, one my backyard, and one my rear door. I have a hot tub by the rear door.\n\nHaving cameras facing front door or porch is pretty typical, right? People use Ring doorbells or what-have-you and don't think anything of it. Because I thought this was fairly standard for 2020, I didn't tell my friends. Whenever I entertained guests, it was always indoors where the only camera is somewhere a guest would never go. Something I should mention is I *never* let guests use my hot tub.\n\nBack in February I had to leave town for a few days and asked a friend to visit and let my dog out and feed her a few times a time. My friend lives only a block away and I compensated her for her time. Unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, apparently she used my hot tub. Not just her, but two friends of hers did as well. And, they decided to hot tub without clothing.\n\nIf it's not obvious, I don't check my cameras often unless there's a reason to. Neighbour told me the day prior that he saw someone get dropped off at my house while I went to do groceries, go into the backyard and then leave. So I wanted to see what they did.\n\nSo I have footage of a friend with two other women changing in front of my hot tub, hot tubbing for an hour or so, then leaving. I told my friend that I wish she had asked permission before using my hot tub and told her what I saw and she freaked out calling me a pervert. She says it's my responsibility to tell people I have cameras around my property, even if their usage is benign. \n\nShe wants to file charges against me for voyeurism. Sure, I watched the clip but only to see the extent of it and I deleted it after I was done with it. I counter that her friends were trespassing and I didn't permit use of my hot tub to begin with.\n\nAm I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. She's lashing out because she got caught violating your trust. ######"}
{"prompt":"Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no \"real man\" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids. \n\nHer standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree. \n\nBasically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids. \n\nI told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ######","completion":" NTA. She's just mad because you're right. ######"}
{"prompt":"She says her $40k+ trust fund is for her future. Makes me feel like my income from work is not for us. The whole 'your money is ours, but mine is mine.' \n\nAnd I am steadily paying for more and more, without any help (aside from TrumpBucks, which are already gone) because her paycheck has been cut by more than 80%, as she teaches private lessons for various musical instruments, and demand is LOW. \n\nI could afford to cover all expenses\/bills, but not indefinitely, and she is doing nothing to generate extra income. I also foot a $300\/month weed habit for us, of which she smokes roughly 75% of, outside of current\/past bill contribution, which is roughly 50\/50. I also drink fairly heavily, and this habit is one I may have to curtail, as affording all this will get tricky quick-like.\n\nOn top of that, she is also getting pissed at me for doing less than half of the house chores, while she stays home all day, every day. What little work she is doing is done over Zoom\/Skype.\n\nAlso, last week she said she would take some money out of the trust to help out, but refused to do so today after she called me at work and started yelling at me about bills and chores. I sent her a a few hundred to cover the gaps and she is still acting like I do nothing of worth for \"us.\" \n\nCalled me a POS today because I forgot to take the garbage to the curb before I left for work this morning, which is one of the things I usually take care of, along with the kitty litter boxes.\n\nAlso of note, she has been threatening to move back in with her parents, as they \"actually care about her,\" which, given everything else, is also highly hurtful to hear.\n\nI realize there is a level of toxicity here, but I guess I want some validation that I'm not fucking crazy and that this is abusive, disrespectful, and entitled behavior. ######","completion":" NTA. She's financially abusing you, making you share your finances without sharing hers, placing an extraordinary expectation on you, and verbally abusing you while you're taking on two people's financial burden. Plus manipulating you with the threat of leaving.\n\nCall her bluff, let her go to her parent. If you're paying all expenses for the home, she's got no entitlement to stay there. Refuse to fund her weed addiction. Buy your own food and nothing more. Do as many chores as you're capable and comfortable of doing alongside your job, and leave the rest. I strongly recommend reconsidering this relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GFs family is pretty \"high class\" or whatever you want to call it, they're basically the opposite of my family in many ways both financially and socially. My mum smokes and drinks a lot and is a single mother who has been married twice, while my GFs mum is the opposite. My mum and my family are not educated and most of them have not gone to university but my GFs family are all educated and really value education which my GF does as well. They're just more \"well off\" if you can say so and compared to my girlfriend I feel a bit stupid in many ways because she literally knows everything and can hold a conversation about anything while I'm just a simple car guy who is a welder.\n\nSo yesterday we were talking about the future and she just popped up \"when will you get an education? I mean you can't be a welder forever can you\"? I told her I don't know... i might go into a specialised field or something which requires education but then she said \"it's still not very academic\" She joked about how our kids will have one dad who works as a welder and a mum who works in something that is seen as \"better\". She was being very sarcastic about it and tried to make it seem as if it was not a mean thing to say. She went on and said \"if you don't get an education then our kids will probably do the same, they probably want to be welders as well etc\" she has previously \"talked bad\" about people who work in physical field where your body is required and she says that those people are stupid. \n\nShe has previously pointed out some things I do and joked about how \"white trash\" it is such as me smoking weed or liking cars. I have had a long day so I snapped at her and called her a \"pretentious bitch\". In return I was called an asshole and that she was only trying to help me but she was so rude about it. She is not talking to me right now.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She's being condescending and classist. It sounds like she doesn't respect you if she thinks people who work in manual labor are stupid, which is also really naive on her part.\n\nMy spouse and I, who are from poor\/disadvantaged backgrounds, have discussed how it's hard to date someone who comes from a different background as you. Not to say that it's impossible but you are more likely to run into this kind of thing. Worldviews where you see poor people as stupid or lesser are really entrenched by the time you reach adulthood and you might have a hard time convincing your GF otherwise unless she is really open minded and willing to change her position. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend recently was hooked onto this stupid tiktok trend where the girl gets naked and goes up to their boyfriend while he is gaming to see what he would do. \n\nNow she being hooked onto the trend wants me to do the same as some of the guys in the tiktoks where they immediately pause their game and jump onto their girlfriends. I play league of legends and the people who play it know that you cannot pause the game and if you AFK or leave the game you will get penalties for it. \n\nShe told me either I quit the game or i dont ever touch her again. I told her a very reasonable rule that she thinks its unreasonable with it being, I do not mind spending time with her if she wants it before i start a game for a few hours, but I do mind where she purposely wants me to quit just as I started a match as I do not want to leave in the middle of a game. However I do not mind after the game, I stop playing and spend time with her. She told me she just wants to see me want her and she doesnt care about my game and she finds it very unreasonable. \n\nAITA for saying no I wont quit in the middle of my game? ######","completion":" NTA. She's basically waiting until you are doing something else and then demanding your attention. Seems pretty shitty to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"Note: This was 3 months ago\n \nMy sister asked me if my niece could try an babysit our children. I assumed it would be cheaper because of a family discount and all that. Apparently it’s not. She charges $10 per hour per child. I have 2 10 year olds. They don’t need that much babysitting. I’m not paying 50% more just for some cousin bonding.\n \nMy regular babysitter has been with me for 4 years. She’s turning 18, and has a flat price of $13, plus the experience she has with them. My sister is calling me a cheap “scum-bag” for letting price go over family bonding. The thing is, I’d be perfectly happy for them to bond for free. We do live pretty close.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She's basically just trying to charge you to interact with your kids. Tell her she's more than free to visit whenever. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 35F wife 37F has a cavity she’s needed fixed since January, but didn’t want to do it as she is afraid of dentists. Me too, so I totally get it. Since then, though, it’s gotten a lot worse.\n\nNow she won’t go because she’s afraid of the coronavirus. Normally I would shrug off not wanting to go right now as overkill but if that’s what she wants, that’s fine. Crowns are expensive but that’s her choice and I’d rather pay for the crown than make her unhappy.\n\nThe problem is, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep next to her. Riding in the car is difficult. Our daughter noticed too. When I bring up the fact that her breath is bad, she gets enraged. I’ve brought it up twice in the last two months, but now I don’t want to anymore. She just starts insulting me and making me feel like an asshole for saying anything.\n\nThree times I’ve asked “can you please make a dentist appointment?” In exactly those words, and each time she becomes furious. I’ve been to the dentist myself. Waiting another 8 or 9 months for her to go though is going to be very hard on me.\n\nAlso I’m sure at some point this will effect her job. Nobody wants to work around someone whose breath smells like rotting teeth.\n\nI sympathize with her not wanting to go to the dentist, but but I don’t feel like she needs to me mean to me about it. AITA for asking my wife to fix her tooth and her very bad breath? ######","completion":" NTA. She will be a in a whole lot of pain soon enough and she will wish she went earlier. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'\n\ncontext: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig. \n\nonto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had. \n\na few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again. \n\nso, AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. She was in your country, she can't possibly expect to enforce American English on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers. \n\nMy mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot. \n\nI take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.\n\nThe thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”\n\nAt this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.\n\nWhen I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.\n\nI am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She was continually violating your privacy and her reasoning was flawed. I’m not sure how she didn’t expect you to lash back at her. She picked the lock too?! You have every right to be pissed at her. She disrespects you’re privacy and doesn’t listen when you say no! ######"}
{"prompt":"My friends and I (20M, we all around 20) go into a group facetime call and just chill and talk on it. Sometimes we play games, but we mainly just talk, we usually call for literal hours.\n\nTheres this one girl in our group call, that has recently started learning how to play the ukulele.\n\nIt's great and all, but its really annoying to hear it over the mic, shes not bad, but she makes alot of mistakes, she keeps plucking strings until she finally hits the right one, which is what makes it such an annoyance.\n\nI've literally asked her a handful of times to stop because its really loud over the mic, whenever I do she just starts singing to drown me out.\n\nWhen were playing games, all I hear in the background is a shitty ukulele and a decent voice.\n\nThis past monday, she joined the call and she was holding her stupid ukulele. I clicked on her icon, and muted it. Since then I've muted her during all the calls because it seems like all she wants to do is just play the ukulele, I've realized that she doesnt even notice because she never talks. Not one of my friends in the call said a word about me muting her because I assumed they all agreed it was annoying as fuck.\n\nToday she found out that I was muting her without her knowledge and she bitched and cried about how much of a dick move it was to do something like that, and now everyone is acting like I'm a POS. If everyone had such a huge problem with it, then they should have said something. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She was being rude, you asked her to stop, and she tried to drown you out by singing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney. \n\nI have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces. \n\nI then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures  I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.\n\nHere is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy.  She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.\n\nEnglish is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ######","completion":" NTA. She tore your set apart to add pieces to hers, and when you did the same she threw a fit. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend \"bought\" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ######","completion":" NTA. She took it with the promise of paying for it and she hasn’t paid it yet. Tell her mom about it as soon as possible so she can’t make up a story to make you in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is a throwaway because my sister is in here. Writing from a phone so excuse the shitty format.\n\nSo I(f18) recieved the first gift from my boyfriend this month. We're in a long distance relationship so I was all excited and stuff. He bought me a silver necklace, chocolates, and a dozen pairs of lovely and funny socks.\nSo me and my sister were discussing the gift and I tell her that we can't share this one. Keep in mind that we always share stuff and gifts and she's free to eat form the chocolate my boyfriend bought whenever she likes. But this gift is from my boyfriend to me and it's so special to me. She then throws a tantrum and calls me and my boyfriend names. She tells me I wish you'd both die. This is all because I told her she won't be wearing MY socks. Maybe she's traumatized or surprised from my response. Plus, she didn't get to date before so maybe she doesn't understand why I said what I said. But this doesn't give her the right to do all of this.\n\n\n\n I tried speaking with her but she acts like I betrayed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes but she won't give me an answer. So reddit, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. She told you, her twin, that she hopes you DIE?? Oh my gosh!! That is an ALARMING overreaction. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.\n\nRecently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.\n\nAfter we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back. \n\nI didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning. \n\nI got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?\n\nTL:DR\nEx had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######","completion":" NTA. She threatened to commit a crime so you threatened to call the police. Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes. ######"}
{"prompt":" This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about \"forgetting something\" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She stole from a coworker and promptly and rightly got fired. You do your friend a favour and I hope he got his money back. \n\nThere have been many times where I wished justice had come so swiftly to thieving or shady former coworkers. ######"}
{"prompt":"So tomorrow my little cousin is having her 10th birthday party (close family only bc of pandemic). In April, my stepdad passed away from a sudden cardiac arrest. He'd been my and my siblings (19F, 17F, 15M) stepdad for over 13 years, and my 12 year old brother is his son. \n\nMy mom is wanting to bring a date to my cousin's party. My siblings and I (except for my youngest brother) discussed it and I was elected to tell her that we'd all rather she didn't. First of all, she hasn't met the dude before. Also, bringing some stranger to a family only event seems super weird. Finally, we think it would be very insensitive to my brother, who just lost his dad 3 months ago, to bring a new dude around. \n\nWhen my parents got divorced she was with my stepdad and pregnant (on purpose) 3 months later, and honestly, it was kind of traumatizing to go from living with both parents to doing a joint custody arrangement and having a new baby on the way that quickly. My other siblings were too young to remember, but I don't think my youngest brother would handle having a new dude around so quickly well, after his dad dying so recently. \n\nOne of my aunties says that we should just leave it alone though because she thinks it's time for my mom to move on, and that I shouldn't \"project my trauma\" onto my brother. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She sounds super insensitive. Bringing a random internet\/blind date for a family event is very weird, especially when it is a birthday party. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again. \n\nOnward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y\/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.\n\nMy sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands,  most weren't coming anyway.  When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details) \n\n I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She sounds ridiculous. And I don’t think you need to explain yourself because you don’t owe her answers, but if you wanted to I would leave it at “sorry sister, for my birthday I want to spend quality time with my husband and parents. I’m glad that for your birthday you were able to have a bunch of people on the cruise with you, making it special for you. What would make my birthday special for me is to make it more intimate.”\n\nShe sounds whack and childish. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: I (20F) live with my cousin Skylar (24F). We've been butting heads forever but it's a family renal.\n\nShe can be really cringy and it irritates me that she thinks everything she does is absolutely original, everything from wearing black nail polish in middle school to cutting cropped shirts. Last week she dyed her hair split half blond and half pink, it looks good but she hasn't shut up about how she hasn't seen anyone do their hair like that. For reference we live in a small town that is either suburban area or desert so it's not like there's a lot of style diversity.\n\nIssue: We've been getting into arguments about personal space, mainly her live streaming in the living room daily because she expects me to keep quiet. Yesterday I was cooking and Skylar started streaming, make it seem like she was helping out but she was getting in the way. I asked her to record somewhere else and she left and said \"no one wants to see your shitty food anyway basic b*tch.\" \n\nAsshole Moment: I blew up followed her and told her that she's fucking cringy, with her not like other girls bull.  She's still live and say to them \"this is what I go through for being different, just because OTHERS envy originality\". I just straight up laughed and spent 30 seconds pulling up a Brad Mondo video of girls doing split dyed hair and told her she's almost 25 following teenage girl tik toc trends acting like she's a fashion icon.\n\nSo about a thousand people saw this and she continued streaming crying. People are calling me an asshole and our family doesn't want to be involved but want to apologize for sake of peace. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She sounds entitled and full of herself. People like that need a wake up call, you did her a favor. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened yesterday.\n\nMy (14F) mother (43F) was mentioning report card and tests yesterday due to you-know-what.   She eventually decided to go through all our old report cards. Now would be a good time to mention that I have a brother who is 9 and we suspect is mildly autistic.\n\nSo we go through them and eventually my brother joins in looking through them. So I find some of mine and I say something like “oh my god I got such good exam scores.” And I showed my mom and my brother that I got three 10s on some years and how I never noticed.\n\nMy brother then find his and his scores are more around 5\/6. And he gets upset and goes down to his room. My mom then pulls me aside and said “you shouldn’t try to be better than your brother and don’t me a show off.”\n\nI told that I can talk about my achievements all I want. I’ve previously also had to not mention my individual class scores when I got top of my class.\n\nShe got pretty upset and grounded me but I’m allowed keep my phone because of you-know-what. ######","completion":" NTA. She shouldn't be grounding you for being proud of your achievements. It sounds like there's sone blatant favoritism going on. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him. \n\nAnyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it. \n\nA few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this\n\nHer: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment \n\nMe: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...\n\nHer: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal. \n\nMe: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself. \n\nNow my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300. \n\nTl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ######","completion":" NTA. She should of discussed payment before doing the cleaning her mother being a professional knows that and should of made sure costs were discussed. Your \"friend\" is trying to take advantage after the fact. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M27) went to high school with a girl (F27) but we lost contact for a few years. In January this year she randomly added me on Instagram and we got talking. She went on about how she always thought I was cute and that she had a crush on me. She definitely knew I liked her back then.\n\nAfter speaking everyday for a month we decided it would be nice to go on a first date and have a proper catch up, face to face. However, due to our busy schedules we decided to do it when we weren’t in a rush to be anywhere. This is when COVID decided to make an appearance, which further delayed our plans.\n\nUp until 3 weeks ago we were regularly FaceTiming and everything seemed to be going well. On that day 3 weeks ago, she messaged me and seemed a bit distressed. I responded and basically let her know that I was there to talk about anything she wanted and calm her down. \n\nHere is were is gets a bit weird. She sometimes has delayed responses for days at a time, and I’m cool with that because I hate texting\/social media. However, a week goes by and she still hasn’t opened my message, then another week, and today she eventually opens it. Low and behold, her response is an image of her kissing another guy. Actually, it’s the dad to her baby. That I had no clue existed.\n\nObviously I ignore this message, because I’m a bit flustered. She then proceeds to send a message saying ‘I decided to try with so and so again because I think it’s best for our baby.’ I tried to be as humble as possible and said ‘ I didn’t even know you were a mum, you should have just let me know in the first place, but all the best.’\n\nHer response ‘see this is why I lost interest. You never message me back, and when I was down, you ignored me.’ I literally replied to her message 3 weeks prior. I ignored her again and she basically says that ‘ I didn’t fight hard enough for her.’\n\nLike dude, we weren’t even dating. So why would I fight for you or chase you? I’m 27.\n\nI’ve blocked her now, but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. She should have disclosed the fact that she had a baby and still had a thing with the father of her child. You're not obligated to keep messaging her in light of this new (bombshell) information. This isn't high school anymore, the little games aren't cute even then, and they sure as hell aren't now. You dodged a bullet. Find a different, better girl who won't play games with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language, \n\nMy friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea. \n\nWell one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).\n\nWell, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.\n\nA month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she  sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up”  and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.\n\nWell one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.\n\nBefore you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.\n\nIf there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know \n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She should grow up and learn the responsibility that comes with the choices she made. Being her only friend with a car does not make you her automatic chauffeur. Live your life. She's gotta figure hers out. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?\n\n\nMy father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities\n\nTheir daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.\n\nShe wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.\n\nIt's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.\n\nI understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA. She should either be looking at nursing homes or in home nursing for him. You cannot be expected to pick up and move in with a dad you barely talk to when he has a wife that can take care of him. You are nice to offer money to help out. Especially considering how much you are helping out your mom and step dad. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have always been a fairly small guy, and at 5'8 weighed about 125 lbs. I was also fairly weak for a while. My girlfriend often teases me about this (completely jokingly, she means no harm by this at all) as she has been lifting regularly for over a year now, and was definitely stronger than me. \n\nRecently the teasing has been getting more frequent, so just to spite her, I've been using the extra time in quarantine to start lifting with a few dumbbells in the house. It's been a bit over a month and although I'm still below average strength, I've overtaken my girlfriend in the amount of weight we can lift. \n\nI can tell that this slightly upset her and she asked me that now that I've proven my point am I going to stop lifting. The thing is now that I've begun this journey, I actually really enjoy the routine and the process.\n\nMy girlfriend thinks that I'm an asshole because I did all of this just to get back at her, and though I did start with that intention, that is no longer my motivation.\n\nAITA for lifting just to make a point and then not stopping? ######","completion":" NTA. She should be excited you started lifting so you two could workout together. It’s also good for your health. She’s the asshole for all the teasing, sounds like it was too much or went too far. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ######","completion":" NTA. She should at least clean for herself considering that she is the one living with the mess most of the time. I can't understand how someone could be ok surrounded by a mess and dirtiness. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was driving down Colfax which is a main Street in Denver the other day and I saw a lady taking pictures of a homeless person that was wearing a winter coat in 75° weather and passed out on their stomach like a starfish at bus stop in front of Sprouts which is a more annoying version of trader joes. It could have been for any number of reasons from alcohol drugs or heat exhaustion. But there was some typical Denver white girl in yoga pants who had an old film camera taking photos of this possibly dying person as some sort of artistic endeavor. I saw this for my car window, rolled the window down and started calling this lady a cunt and telling her what a piece of shit human being she was. I pulled over around to the other side of the street called the police and waited for them to arrive. Am I the asshole for calling somebody out using a clearly in need human being for some sort of black and white artistic experiment? Also, she had no intention of helping, told me to fuck myself and went back to taking pictures of graffiti and other bullshit. The police told me she was crap but didn't do anything illegal. ######","completion":" NTA. She seems to lack the depth and warmth to be a cunt, however. \n\nGood on you for calling for help and behaving as a *human being*. ######"}
{"prompt":"Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F\n\nFrom what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very \"waste not want not\"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.\n\nMy girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.\n\nShe has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.\n\nHer mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.\n\nSo, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.\n\nHer argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.\n\nWe've talked and argued several times.\n\nI had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.\n\nMy girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.\n\nMy mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.\n\nWe tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She said your gf is an adult, and then decided that gf doesn't get to decide what size plate to use for dinner in her own home. Nice woman. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother has two children, me (28M) and my sister (30F)\n\nI’ve been with my wife for 7 years, she (34F) has a 9 year old son, I picked up the fatherly duties as his dad wasn’t around and he views me as his dad which I’m really happy about.\n\nMy mother is obsessed with having grandchildren, I always thought she saw my son as her grandson.\n\nMy wife and I Skyped my mother last week for her birthday (my sister and her husband were on the call too) when I mentioned the present I had delivered.\n\nShe said, maybe as a joke, “*the only present I want off you is a grand baby*” \n\nI said that she’s already got one, my son- my wife and I are  considering adopting too.\n\nTo sum up what she said; he isn’t biologically mine, she wants a child who’s biologically related to her.\n\nIt’s literally impossible for me and my wife to have a child together.\n\nI told her to call me when she isn’t so up herself.\n\nApparently she’s upset and my sister wants me to apologise for being so snappy and ruining our mothers birthday over a harmless comment that didn’t even offend my son.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She ruined her own birthday by being a bag. My older sister has a 15 year old step daughter that we \"got\" when she was 2. My mom insists that she's the best grandkid ever because she was potty trained before she started coming round. You keep being a good dad, OP. It doesn't matter where your kids come from. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my high school best friend is getting married and it’s a big deal for her we’ve talked about this as long as I can remember. I’m really happy for her but I am a full time college student and I work on top of volunteer work for my major. I would really like to help but if I’m being realistic it’s an extra thing I can’t really deal with at the moment. She is very upset with me and doesn’t understand why I don’t have time to help. Yesterday she texted me that if I can’t start helping more she no longer wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I completely understand and to be honest I was upset but I can’t promise her time I don’t really have at the moment. Me saying I understand if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore apparently upset her more and my friends are now all upset with me and want me to basically beg her to be a bridesmaid. I would like to be apart of her wedding but I don’t want to beg her for it and promise to help her when I honestly don’t have the time so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She probably thought threatening to remove you from the party would cause you to focus on her more. You agreed with her, which made her more angry because her attempts at manipulating you didn’t work. I think you were totally reasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend posted a massive status on Facebook after discovering her bf cheated on her. She then called me crying basically saying the same thing. How her boyfriend cheated on her with another woman, how devistated she is, how she is a strong woman who doesn't need that, how men can never be trusted and finally how she would never do that to anyone she loves. I listened to it all, listened to her cry and feel sorry for herself. If it was any of my other friends then I definitely would have reacted differently but I know this girl way too well, she is my best friend and we have are always honest with each other.\n\nShe then was looking for reassurance but I didn't give her it. Instead I said this:\n\n\"Sorry if you are looking for a pitty party or for reassurance then you have definitely came to the wrong place. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who themselves cheat on every person they have been with and brags about it. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on. Sucks he did that? Of course it does but it's hard to pitty someone who does that shit themselves. Mate I do love ya but in all honesty I can't feel sorry for you right now. I have never agreed with cheating, don't like him doing it, never liked you doing it but I can't feel bad for you because you are being a huge hypocrite... sorry\".\n\nShe was really insulted about that. She started screaming down the phone how I'm meant to be her friend but what I said was bitchy and what assholes say. Claimed I slut shamed her and said I was an asshole. Personally I don't see that as slut shaming at all when she has literally bragged about getting with guys behind their gfs backs and being with guys behind all her exes backs. She has never felt bad about any of that and actually was proud of her actions. So why should I feel sorry for someone who does that themselves?\n\nAITA for saying that?\n\nEdit: She is my best friend and I love her like she is my sister but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. ######","completion":" NTA. She probably needed to hear that. ######"}
{"prompt":"As stupid as this all sounds my mil tried to get my wife to divorce me over a sandwich AND part of the family AGREED with her. I and my wife do not in any way think I am the TA but why not let strangers on the internet decide? \n\nWhen I first started dating wifey MIL was actually nice to me, she was a decent human being. However I always felt she thought me and  wifey were going to break up. Turns out I was right because the second we announced our engagement the shit hit the fan. She started screaming at my wife about not consulting with her first before getting engaged( she knew we were thinking about marriage before hand). She started picking fights with me for no reason. If I didn’t open the door for my wife, I didn’t have any respect for her. If I didn’t offer MIL to wash the dishes quick enough, I was going to be a terrible husband. She showed her toxic colors, you know the drift. \n\nHere’s the part where I might be the TA. MIL came to visit us and I offered to make everybody sandwiches. Mil said she wanted a spicy one. I told her we had no spicy sauce and she insisted on having a spicy sandwich. She told me to go buy some than proceeded to tell me exactly what brand a kind of spicy sauce she wanted. Of course I was done with dealing with her shit but trying to still be polite. I told her nicely that I would not go buy some for her but she could go buy some if she wanted. That did not make her happy. Half and hour of banshee screaming later we kicked her out. \n\nSo of course MIL told everyone about the incident, where I was the bad guy who was abusive towards an old lady. Most of the family fortunately did not believe her BS but I did get quite a few angry texts and calls from other family members. Recently A family member texted me about how much a TA I was and I was like, I have free time why not post it on reddit? So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She prioritises a spicy sandwich at the expense of wasting your time. Just because she's your elder doesn't mean you are obliged to do everything she says. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-\n\n I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).\n\nSo after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.\n\nNeighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.\n\nI didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.\n\nI responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.\n\nShe then blocked me on FB.\n\nWas I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ######","completion":" NTA. She only wanted it back because it has \"value\" ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?\n\nLast summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding. \n\nI am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######","completion":" NTA. She needs to send them to you, and it's weird she won't, especially if you offered to pay for them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######","completion":" NTA. She needs to get her own WiFi. ######"}
{"prompt":"She came to me the other day and sat me down and said she’d like to stop taking birth control pills. I said ok we can use problems, no condom. She said no she doesn’t wanna use condoms. When I asked why, she said they don’t work 100% of the time (which is fair I guess but no birth control method works 100% of the time); and that the deed doesn’t feel as good. So I said ok what do you suggest. She said she’d like for me to get a vasectomy. Apparently she did her homework and my insurance covers the entire procedure which is fair enough I guess but I’m only 21 and I’m not quite ready to give up my fertility. She said that’s not an issue because vasectomies are reversible. I said not all of the time. She got frustrated and said she’s sick of the burden being on her and I said how can that be so when you used B.C. long before you met me, and I’ve always said if you want to get off it then I’ll support you. She said so support me and get the vasectomy. I said absolutely not, if you want to go and get your tubes tied that’s o.k and I won’t stop you but I’m not ready to sterilize myself yet. \n\nSince that conversation she’ll ask me again and again if I’ve thought about it. At first I said yes and my answer hasn’t changed. But she won’t quit so I just say no or ignore her. It’s so annoying. She won’t entertain IUDs and to be honest her reasoning for being against condoms is kind of suspect. So she asked again just now and I said no please quit asking me. No matter how many times you ask I’m not changing my mind and that’s that.  Now she’s really angry at me because she thinkings VaSeCtOmIeS aRe So MuCh EaSiEr and I should suck it up but if I’m being honest the more she badgers me about it, the more convinced I am not to budge. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She needs to do some research on vasectomy reversal. It can be between $4,000-$10,000 with a 30-70% success rate. If you want to have children in the future or aren't 100% sure you don't want any children, permanent sterilization should not be on the table. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friends and I (all 20M) had plans to meet up for the first time in 2 months due to the restrictions being eased recently in my state and planned to meet in a park to kick a ball around and just catch up.   \n\n\nMy girlfriend (20M) of 3 years asked to come before and I said no because I wanted to spend some time with just my mates and I feel like there is a bit of a different dynamic with her being there. She began to get very upset but I still didnt invite her.  \n\n\nShe brought up that yesterday she invited me to see her 3 of her friends (they still saw each other regularly despite restrictions) which I did, we got along well and had a good time.  \n\n\nShe claims that I am embarrassed by her but I dont think that that's true I just dont think this is the type of event to invite her to as it's just a group of 6 of us who have all been friends for 7 years.  \n\n\nI told her I would apologise to her and try to make it up to her if I was wrong so reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She needs to be okay letting you have some tim alone with your friends. That being said, invite her next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.\n\nSo I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.\n\nThe point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.\n\nMy mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She needs to be grateful for what she has. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSo  growing up I had one of the most loving mothers one could as for, maybe  even a little too much. Except for times when she had her episodes. She  has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and some other mental ilnesess I  forgot about. But for most part, she is very normal and sane, due to her  meds. But that's the problem. She never was a very religious person,  but every year, without fault, she will have this desire to connect to  god for some reason. She then start going to church at least 3 times a  week, and it seems to give her some comfort, so I don't even mention it.  But what surprises me is that everytime she finds a church, they tell  her she doesn't seem to have any condition regarding her mental state.  And that is true, because of her meds. Some time later they'll convince  her that with god on her side, she doesn't need to keep taking those  meds that are making her get fatter and fatter. God is all powerful and  will help her get through it.\n\nDo I  even need to say it? After a couple weeks without the meds she is  completly changed, she doesn't recognize me anymore, start hearing  voices, seeing things that are there. When she gets like this, she  thinks I'm the devil or some evil spirit.\n\nYesterday  I moved to another house. The bills are coming up, it's all in her  name, she doesn't have any money. Most likely she will end up on the  streets in a couple months, and I don't care. I've had enough of this  shit. Last time she got better I told her if she stopped taking her meds  I would leave her to tend for herself, and so did.\n\nSo AITA for leaving her when I know she can't take care of herself? ######","completion":" NTA. She may not have a choice about her chemical imbalances but treatment is a CHOICE. She is the only one that can make that choice. If you saved her now it would only enable the illness to thrive. This way she might hit hard times but it may be what she needs to lead her back to treatment and back into your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 13 yo female, my mom was a cheater and a liar during her marriage with my dad. She ended up just up and leaving when I was 9 and nobody knew where she went. Those months were the best months of my life, I loved my dad. She came back a little bit before Christmas after she missed my birthday. The fucked up thing is that she left again on Christmas Day! I've hated her since and always wanted to live with my dad. She would always yell at me for no reason and get me in trouble. I do have a younger sister, but she never gets in trouble for anything. \n\nFast forward a few miserable years, I'm in 6th grade so around 11 or 12. I attempted to end my life due to my mom's bullshit. She always made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it would all be over, but my attempt failed luckily. I was put into counseling and told my counselor everything. My dad has always known that I wanted to live with him (my parents have 50\/50 custody). I get to decide who I want to live with full time in my freshman year of highschool ( I'm going to be in 8th grade)and I told my mom I was gonna choose my dad. She told me that that wasn't going to happen and that it would stay 50\/50.  \n\nI told her my reasons for wanting to leave and she said I was lying. That none of that happened. I was livid with anger and told my dad what she said. He confirmed everything I said and she wouldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up and ever since she's been trying to buy my love, but she still yells at me and does everything she's been doing. I'm still going to live with my dad, but now I feel kinda bad for her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She made terrible choices. Protect yourself from her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife calls me into the room and proceeds to say \"Hey Google, how do I get my husband to stop being annoying?\" and starts laughing. I suppose in her defense this was said somewhat jokingly, so I just rolled my eyes and walked away. In the next room, I ask our other Google home the same thing about my wife. I was also half kidding, and knew I was going to get the same answer of \"Sorry, I can't help with that.\" Then my wife walks into the room and starts talking about how that's not nice and starts demanding an apology from me. Needless to say, she didn't like the apology I gave, and went on to tell me she hopes a wild animal attacks me while I'm out for a walk. Better judgment would suggest that I shouldn't have said any of that but AITA for not giving a sincere apology here? It seems to me like she thinks she can demand an apology whenever she wants, and I just have to bow down to her and say \"Yes, dear.\" ######","completion":" NTA. She made a silly joke, you laughed it off, like a good sport. You made the same silly joke, and she decided to turn it into a fight with you. Sounds like she was baiting you to begin with and an argument was inevitable because she was looking for one. Tell her to fuck off.\n\nEDIT: maybe don’t say “fuck off” though. Use better words obvi. Good luck OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17 pre everything mtf) have recently realised that I would be comfortable in life as a transgender woman. Unfortunately due to conservative parents I’m going to have to wait until I move out to transition.\n\nWhen I realised this, the first person I told was my (now ex) girlfriend (17), a little bit of background she is clearly of Asian descent but her parents are white as snow, it’s clear to everyone shes adopted. She seemed supportive at first (using correct pronouns and my chosen name) she even said she would stay with me through my transition, I told her not to spread the word because my Dad could ship me off to conversion therapy if he heard about this.\n\nAt first I was happy to have told her but when I woke up I was flooded with messages from literally everybody in my year. Some where nice offering make up tips and the like, but some where calling slurs such as tranny or trap. And then I realised that there is a high likelihood that this is all going to get back to my Dad via people in my year telling their parents about the situation and then I’m royally screwed.\n\nI messaged my ex asking if she told anyone. She claimed to have only told a few. I then asked where literally everybody in my year knows now. She told me to grow up and how accepting people are. I then reminded her of my VERY conservative dad and she responded with an eye roll emoji. That really pissed me off so I said “At least my biological parents give a shit about me and didn’t just sell me out to some random ass family” she left me on read after this and according to her friend she was crying on FaceTime. \n\nIn hindsight I could see she meant well by telling her friends but I specifically told her not to because of the consequences that would unfold if the word got around. I feel like an asshole for what I just said but I suppose it’s up for you to decide. ######","completion":" NTA. She literally risked your life by outing you like that. I wish you a happy, healthy, *safe* new home. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home. \nIn the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.\nShe wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.\nWe don’t hear from\nher until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?\nAm i the asshole for not eating the shit \/ then not venmoing her? ######","completion":" NTA. She left it there, she could have taken it with her. No one asked her to buy it. Tell her the whiskey she drank without permission is her payment. ######"}
{"prompt":"I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.\n\nMy sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples. \n\nPersonally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.\n\nI am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.\n\nI am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She left having been heard, believed, respected, and with a safe place to use again later. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for freaking out on my girlfriend for making me think she’s pregnant?\n\nFor some context, we’re both 17 and going into our senior year of high school. My parents had me at a really young age and it sort of derailed their lives. For this reason, I’ve been so scared of having kids of my own, especially at a young age with the fear of not being adequate to care for them, or it stunting my dreams. I’m not sure if I’ll even want kids ever. I’ve expressed this to her and explained how terrified I am of parenthood. She and her niece (16) decided to play a prank on me where they send me a picture of a positive test and tell me she’s pregnant. I was skeptical at first, but I called her and she was believably crying and eventually told me when I said I had to tell my mom and ask for guidance. Once she told me it was a joke, I hung up and wouldn’t take any of her calls. She expressed remorse and I’m starting to feel I may have overreacted a bit, however I feel like this isn’t just some irrational fear, there’s some deep rooted psychological problems involved in this, and I don’t think she understands. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She knew that was a deep fear of yours and chose to exploit it for laughs. You cant trust this girl. Dump her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days. \n\nAt first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here. \n\nMy guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?\n\nOn top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?\n\nI've considered leaving a short \"please stop having your packages sent here\" note, but haven't acted yet. ######","completion":" NTA. She is massively, for obvious reasons no one has to explain.\n\nEvery time you get a package like that, take it inside so she can't get it. That breaks her scheme right there. They aren't yours, but you can and should take them inside and then eventually make a trip to UPS or whoever send it and explain that the address is yours, but the person's name who is on the package doesn't live there and it must have been an error. Have it sent back to the shipper.\n\nIf you catch the deliver guy while he is there, refuse delivery and insist it goes back with the delivery guy. If this is through USPS, go to your USPS location and ask to fill out the form preventing mail delivery to your address for that person's name.\n\nIf she can no longer get her packages from outside your apartment this scheme of her's stops working and she will stop putting your address in. She might put someone else's address but at that point it's not your problem.\n\nAnd as to why she is doing it, have you ever considered that it's someone buying merchandise with stolen credit cards, putting a fake name and your address for delivery and they pick it up from your place to avoid the stolen goods being tracked to where they actually live? You could be being used in an illegal, fraudulent scheme. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y\/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me. \n\nShe was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.\n\nWhenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.\n\nOur group likes to do \"air kisses\" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has \"accidentally\" kissed my actual cheek. But she never \"accidentally\" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...\n\nRight before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.\n\nI'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.\n\nBut we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again. \n\nWill I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?\n\nTL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ######","completion":" NTA. She is making you uncomfortable, and that's not okay. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own skin and around your friends. Not wanting to be overly groped by someone who happens to be a lesbian doesn't make you homophobic, it just makes you a person who doesn't want to be overly groped. \n\nI wouldn't necessarily call her out in front of everyone else. But perhaps let everyone know that you're uncomfortable being touched (AKA, don't announce \"\\[Friend\\], don't touch me\" when you're in front of everyone). If she gets upset, that's not on you -- because if she truly sees you as a friend, she should respect your wishes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.\n\nHowever. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school. \n\nShe is now a \"stay-at-home mom.\" I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is \"humiliating.\" Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so \"poor.\"\n\nI have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get \"lucky\" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace. \n\nAITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ######","completion":" NTA. She is an arsehole for complaining ad nauseam about something that she *could* change but isn’t *willing* to change. ######"}
{"prompt":"my (18) sister (23) does this thing where she’ll take the rest of the pads when there’s not much left and doesn’t tell anyone. i’m fine with her taking the pads but i just want her to tell me beforehand so that i can ask mom to buy pads. she doesn’t tell me until after i ask her where the pads are. she has done this multiple times before btw. this morning, my period decided to come early and when i asked where the pads were, my sister went into her room (the pads are supposed to stay in the bathroom) and gave me two pads. now that i have money to buy pads,  i’m thinking about going to the store tomorrow, buying pads, and hiding them. i know my sister will be mad and my mom will be on her side but it’s honestly annoying that she doesn’t say anything about the lack of pads when she knows she isn’t the only household member who gets a period. ######","completion":" NTA. She is also hiding them... ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day. \n\nWhen she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in. \n\nAbout ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case. \n\nI want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof. \nReddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ######","completion":" NTA. She has unreasonable expectations. You'd think she would have realized that after it contributed to the divorce. I really don't understand why should everyone conform to her weird schedule.\n\nYou said she's working from home and spends time in the kitchen. How does someone sleeping and not making noise cause a problem for her? Is she lonely or something? \n\nLock your door and see what happens. If she tries to retaliate, try having a rational discussion with her. You're 22, not 12. She should respect you instead of trying to control the way you live your life. A different sleep schedule is really not a valid cause for concern here.\n\nI also think it's weird to insist on keeping the curtains open. ######"}
{"prompt":" My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.\n\nThen she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).\n\nAnyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.\n\nSo Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. She has the option to eat at any point but chooses not too. You’re not a bad person for pointing out the obvious if she’s going to complain about the limitations she set on herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have three three vehicles I drive. Two of them I owned before marriage, and one of them I bought after we married. Two of the vehicles (a jeep and a car) are manuals. The third vehicle is a large truck (Ford Super Duty) that I had lifted.\n\nMy wife has never driven any of my vehicles because she can't drive a manual and doesn't really want to learn and feels uncomfortable driving my truck because of its size.\n\nShe would like for me to get rid of one in exchange for something she feels comfortable driving even though she has her own car. Her argument is that we need another car she can drive in case something happens to hers. My counter has been that she can drive my cars but she chooses not to either learn how or spend time getting comfortable with them. This isn't a case of not having cars that can be driven.  She thinks I am missing the point and being an AH by refusing to get something she doesn't have to learn to drive, but I think she is being a bit difficult to please by refusing to meet me halfway and take me up on my offer to get her comfortable with one of the vehicles.\n\nShe also has been very adamant lately that I need a car which is \"appropriate\" for a baby and has been pushing for me to make this change sooner rather than later, but I think this point isn't relevant right now. We're not close to having kids, so there is no point in making a change when that is likely several years away.\n\nEdit to add: I also think the car or jeep is suitable for a child. I don't even agree with her view that one of them cannot be used for kids.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She has options - She could learn to drive a manual; she could drive the truck (maybe offer to have the lift kit removed if\/when she gets pregnant) so it's more accessible; she could buy her own extra car. There is no reason the entire burden of making a change should fall on you other than the fact that she just wants it that way. She wants a change then she needs to be willing to make it herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed \n\nDuring rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.\n\nI then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register. \n\nI again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock. \n\nI then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######","completion":" NTA. She has obviously never worked in food service or customer service in general. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHey There.\n\nMy parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.\n\nSorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######","completion":" Nta. She has no claim on that money at all. Besides isn't there an issue with the amount of money you can just gift someone? I'm a bit clueless but I think you have to pay tax on it or something as otherwise it can be seen as tax avoidance. I think you were very generous to consider giving her anything.\n\nPlease get some financial advice as it sounds like a lot of money and it is surprisingly easy to lose money if you don't know what you are doing. If you look after it and invest wisely you could be set up for life. It sounds like your mother wasn't completely honest with you about your paternal grandparents. In light of that and their willingness to kick you out so quickly I would not trust your parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nThis has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.\n\nSome backstory:\nI don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.\n\nRecently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard. \nA week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.\nSo, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .\nI was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her  family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.\n\nI felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She has an inferiority complex and envy clouds her mind. She’s projecting her anger onto you because she feels hapless to change her situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11.  I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister  asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke\n\nMy PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk\n\nMy Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor\n\nA Dell desktop and 2 monitors \n\nMac computer by downloading viruses \n\nA keyboard\n\nMy copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it\n\nMy old phone\n\nA Samsung tablet\n\nXbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)\n\nXbox one disc (about 5)\n\nAnd a few other things.\n\nWith her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.\n\nLuckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived. \n\nSo guys and gals, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She has a history of breaking your things, and that’s not fair to you. Plus she has her own consoles and toys that are very comparable that she could have played with. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213\/145).\n\nBack story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control.   We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.\n\nFast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195\/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication.  I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress.  She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home.  This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either. \n\nShe burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ######","completion":" NTA. She has a family and people who depend on her. I understand the treatments can be consuming and she might not want to continue them due to side effects, but that's an issue to bring up to her doctor so they can figure where to progress. Not only is it not safe for her to decide not to take the medicine on her own accord, she has a child she needs to be there for and a family. You're not the asshole for reminding her of these things and saying she needs to take the medicine, she might not like it, but you're right. ######"}
{"prompt":"A woman I work with recently lost her children in a car crash. She was given a month off work and she came back last month. I helped her get her work done for the next week and a half. My boss then give us a pretty big assignment for the two of us. Our original plan was we do it 50\/50. After I did half of the assignment and went to her to check in. She didn’t do any of it but she was still upset about the death of her kids. I decided to do her part of the assignment.\n\nHer and my boss used to be high school friends so he trusted her so much. She went to my boss and said I didn’t work and she did most of the work. My boss gave me a warning and said I was on thin ice and made me do another two person assignment by my self. \n\nThe next week I had a lot of work since I had to do this two person assignment along with my work. She came to work drunk that week. She started verbally abused me and another coworker I work with. That coworker was very shy and probably won’t tell my boss. When I told my boss he didn’t believe me. I went to HR but they said I needed proof. They said this behavior could get her fired or demoted\n\nSo, I gathered evidence. I recorded our conversations and it showed verbal abuse and got photos of her drinking. She did the last straw when she said she might get me fired. I was going to go to HR but another coworker stopped. They said I would get a woman who lost children and had multiple medical bills to pay off fired. He said if I do it, I would be a terrible person and a huge asshole. I don’t know what to do.\n\nSo Reddit, WIBTA if I go to HR with the evidence? ######","completion":" NTA. she had no reason to tell the boss that you didn’t do yours and hers assignment project when YOU did both parts. she could have just kept quiet and thanked you for pulling her weight. but for some odd reason she wanted to stir the pot and let it overflow. That is why HR exists. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. Names are changed. \n\nI've been best friends with Dan (29M) since we were in high school. He's been married to Cassie (28F) for two years and they recently had their first kid. Dan's dad remarried when we were off at college and Lucifer became his stepmom. Lucifer had a son from a previous relationship. \n\nRecently, with the weather getting nicer, Dan and Cassie hosted a small barbecue with immediate family and friends. I was there, Dan, Cassie, and their kiddo were there, Cassie's parents, Dan's dad and Lucy, and a few other people.\n\nEveryone was gushing over the baby and how good Cassie was looking. She had a rough pregnancy and has been resting up ever since the baby came. She also had a C-section (this is relevant).\n\nNow, Lucy is a shitty person and Dan has never been her biggest fan. The topic of Cassie's C-section came up and Lucy said something nasty about Cassie not being a real woman and a true mother, for not having given birth naturally. It was pretty hurtful and I could see it on Cassie's face that she was upset.\n\nI ended up blurting out that it wasn't surprising that Lucy had said that, considering she was such a huge cunt, when she gave birth her kid probably just slipped out and fell on the floor. Dan laughed, but his dad and Lucifer were pretty upset. They ended up leaving shortly after. \n\nI know there's some controversy over that particular word, I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She had it coming. Next time though you should coordinate a secreat timeout. This is where when she says something fucked up everyone at the party except Lucifer (and prob her husband) are notified that Lucifer is in timeout. And everyone pretends she doesnt exist until an audible timer goes off then people start making eye contact, responding, talking to her, etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.\n\nI decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was \"Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded\" and then a link to the video.\n\nI wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. \"Why are you showing me this?\" and \"What are you going to do with it?\" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.\n\nDid I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ######","completion":" NTA. She had a knee-jerk reaction there. You were just letting her know she was on the internet. Doesn’t sound like you had any malicious intent there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######","completion":" NTA. She got what’s coming to her. The fact she kept drilling the idea that you’re short is a huge asshole move on her part. You insulting her was a clap back. Did she just expect you to sit back and take it? She sucks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.\n\n6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.\n\nNow I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one. \n\nNow M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.\n\nAfter calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ######","completion":" NTA. She failed to communicate properly and expected you to simply put up with her lack of organisation and childishness. Then she basically stole from you. Not someone you require in your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.\n\nA few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.\n\nLater, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)\n\nAm I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ######","completion":" NTA. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You removed her from your social media posts. What you do is no longer any of her business. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend (28F) and I (30F) live together for over a year now. She is currently packing for a week-long camping trip with her dad and brothers and was charging up both of my external battery packs. I told her I didn’t want her taking both. She can take the older smaller one but the big one is expensive and she has a history of not taking care of my stuff (and taking my stuff without asking). I said I don’t want the charger to go camping and she threw a fit saying it’s not fair because of I’m not using it then she should be able to take it. I said if she wants one then she should get her own, that I’m being nice by even letting her take one. \nShe says since we live together we share everything and she should be allowed to take whatever she wants. Now she’s throwing a huge fit.\nIt feels like maybe I’m being mean now and I should just let her take it. But I’m annoyed that I’m expected to just let her have my things for use whenever she wants. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She doesn't seem to understand boundaries at all. Just because you're living together that doesn't mean that everything you own is hers too. I doubt she'd be okay with the opposite, if you took her stuff and told her well cause we're living together it's mine too. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally \"checked it out\", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken. (If it matters, I'm 130lbs.) \n\nI said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she \"didn't give me permission to sit on it\" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to take it. \n\nI said no and left. But now I can't stop thinking about it. In my mind, when she said it was fine if I inspected the couch, this would obviously mean that I could sit in it. Isn't that one of the first things anybody does when checking out a couch? \n\nSo what do you think, reddit? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She didn’t want you to *sit*. On a *sofa*...? Yup, she was running a scam. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months. \n\nI was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.\n\nAbout 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.\n\nHowever that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.\n\nFast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.\n\nWell it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.\n\nContext, both my babies were conceived on contraception. \n\nI said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.\n\nI thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She didn't tell you before hand and had no way of knowing. She asked the question, and then got pissed that you h=answered honestly? You can be relieve over whatever you want, and the miscarriage doesnt affect her ability of trying for a baby.  \n\n\nShe looking for a reason to be pissed about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago when my daughter was 13 she begged and begged me for a dog till I was so fed up that I gave in. It was a huge mistake but at the time I didn't think it would be since my daughter promised that since it was her dog that she would take care of it and I would just buy it what it needed.\n\nI finally got her a puppy from a neighbour who's dog had just given birth and my daughter was really excited and we both loved the dog.\n\nMy daughter was great at first with the dog, took him 3 walks a day if she could and feed him, she did everything right. After a while though she's been doing hardly anything. I understand she has school and a life of her own but I have work and I'm not at home a lot. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to my daughter just watching TV while the dog hasn't been fed or walked all day, and I come home at 9pm. I have enough time in the morning to feed the dog before I leave and maybe a quick walk. But I'm so sick of hearing myself telling her to do the rest. People have also told me they have spotted her not picking up after the dog when she finally does walk him.\n\nI loved the dog so so much, please don't think I didn't. He was part of the family but there was really nothing I could do. Countless times I have told my daughter that if she doesn't look after him then he'll need a new home, she'll care for him a few days after that but then falls back into doing nothing again. I feel sorry for the dog and I just want him to be happy so I gave him to a friend who I know would take amazing care of the dog, plus she has 2 other dogs to keep him company. She says we can visit him anytime we like so it's not like my daughter will never see him.\n\nMy daughter isn't speaking to me and I am thinking maybe I've screwed up. It's hard as well because my daughter thinks I didn't care about the dog if I could just give it away like that but it was seriously a really hard decision and one I wish could've been avoided. ######","completion":" NTA. She didn't hold up her end of the bargain and you warned her multiple times. Ultimately it sounds like you did the right thing for the dog in giving it to someone who would take care of it properly. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She did not specify not to feed them McDonald's, and that's what they asked for. She needs to pay you back. Involve your parents if you have to. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me (M27) and my family live in a townhouse of mostly white neighborhood (important later). The townhouses are sharing a strip of \"frontyard\" that we must maintain and we try our best to keep up, we planted flowers, we mow our lawn, etc. However, our neighbor that we share the said strip is always commenting and always telling us that we are not doing it properly, that we are ruining the front yard, and there are times where we caught them doing our lawn. And then one time, our neighbor knocked on our door and told us that we have to pay them for the lawn maintenance and we refused because we did not ask for it and it is not like we are not maintaining it. It's just that we are not doing it the way they like it. Also, we heard them referring to us as the \"Asians\" and call our other neighbors \"neighbor\". They called the firefighters one time because we are having a bon fire in our backyard, and firefighters said that we are following everything. They had a problem with us sun-drying our clothes even though we don't have any clothes line attached to our nor their fence. The last straw for me was when she talked to me as they were bothered by the fact that I have to leave every 10 pm to go work (I'm a nurse). My car is a Honda Civic with no modifications at all so it's not loud, and I don't play loud music at all. I started going off on her as my parents are too nice and have told her to mind her own business, stop being an asshole and we are done being a pushover She was shocked and in disbelief, she smelt like alcohol so I did not bother going further but she has not bothered us for weeks. My siblings are saying that IATA because she is an old lady (possibly on her early 50s) and she was clearly drunk. However, my parents are glad that someone had said something. \n\n\nDid I overreact? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She deserved it. She may be old but that doesn’t mean she’s right. Alcohol involved or not she seems like a closeted racist who’s using subtle tactics to put you down ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?\n\nAwhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin. \n\nAlso mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.\n\nAnd now this is where it gets complicated. \n\n1 week later:\n\nL: what are we doing for my birthday? \n\n(In my mind I was confused, because \n1. L told me she was going to a cabin \n2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)\n\nMe: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?\n\nL: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?\n\nMe: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.\n\nL: you’re ruining my birthday \n\nAfter she said that I stopped responding to her. \nAnd to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day? \nAlso I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!\nI ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me? \nAITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ######","completion":" NTA. She decided after you originally asked that it would be great to have a bday party and go to a cabin. She doesn't even invite you to the cabin, but now expects you to throw her a party? Especially since she already turned you down?\n\nShe is not a friend, she is an entitled B. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title pretty much says it all. My friend was checking on my cats while I was on vacation (this was last year). Basically I was supposed to pay her $20\/day for the week.\n\nThen (while I was on vacation), apparently she somehow ran over the light post in my yard. It broke in half and she tore out some of the underground electrical, along with one of my most beloved plants. Thankfully I was able to save my plant. I know that sounds dumb but it took me forever to actually get this thing to thrive.\n\nMy friend offered to pay for it, so I had some electricians come out and look at it and they all recommended I use my home owners deductible to get it fixed, which is $500. I believe the cheapest contractor was $800. After she heard the estimate, she spazzed and said she couldn’t pay that. So I said I would keep the money I owed her for cat-sitting and pay the rest of the deductible. She got upset and said that wasn’t our agreement, but I don’t really want to pay her after needing to pay this deductible for something that was blatantly her fault.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. She damaged your property, she needs to make up for it. You’re being generous in paying the difference. It was her mistake and she needs to own up to it ######"}
{"prompt":"I love in a house that's literally surrounded by woods. There's a lot of wild animals that prowl around, and so I've been very careful when it comes to my pets. My sister has been staying with me because she doesn't have enough money to pay for her own apartment. She's a generally unpleasant person and she doesn't like my pets but a few days ago my friend had an accident and wanted me to stay the night with him so I fed my pets, took my dogs out for a walk, and asked my sister to watch them while I was gone. She agreed and I left. \n\nWhen I came back, I found out that my sister had left the animals (two dogs and two cats) outside, something that I specifically asked her not to do because they are not outdoor animals and because of the wild animals that live around me. Thankfully, they hadn't wandered away and were unharmed so that was good, but I immediately went and demanded to know why my sister had gone against what I specifically asked her not to do. \n\nShe said that they were annoying and gross, and that they wouldn't stop bugging her. Just to be clear, the dogs are trained to go and lay in their beds if somebody tells them to 'stop', and the cats don't even like my sister, so they never bother her. We got into a huge fight because a whole ton of things could've happened to my pets and she didn't even care, and I eventually just told her to go and stay with her boyfriend. She got all teary and said that I was her only brother and I was supposed to care about her, and I replied that I did care about her but that we never got along, and said that I was too angry for her to stay with me, and she packed up and left. \n\nI don't regret the general argument, but was I too harsh for kicking her out? ######","completion":" NTA. She could have killed your pets and then she has the audacity to guilt trip you? Dealing with the pets was part of living with you. They were there before she was. If she couldn't handle it, she couldn't stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.\n\nHowever. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school. \n\nShe is now a \"stay-at-home mom.\" I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is \"humiliating.\" Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so \"poor.\"\n\nI have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get \"lucky\" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace. \n\nAITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ######","completion":" NTA. She complained, you offered a valid solution, she chose to ignore it and keep whining. ######"}
{"prompt":" My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.\n\n \n He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.\n\n\n I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I \"wasn't worth it\" then went into his bedroom. \n\n\n I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.\n\nAm I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ######","completion":" NTA. She clearly needed help and you gave it to her. You did the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######","completion":" NTA. She clearly just got defensive when you pointed out the obvious - that she was not in control. ######"}
{"prompt":" My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.\n\nThen she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).\n\nAnyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.\n\nSo Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. She chose the diet, she had the fight, she refused to go into the kitchen, she waited until after the 7pm limit to tell anyone, and she's the one who's upset. She has two options now, eat after 7pm or wait until morning. What does she want you to do? Berate your husband for being in the kitchen cooking for the rest of his family around dinner time?  \n  \nTell her that next time, if her diet is so important to her not to wait until after the time limit to tell someone that there's a problem. Say you're sorry she's hungry and ask if there's anything you can do to help *now*. ######"}
{"prompt":"I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.\n\nMy gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.\n\nSo I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.\n\nI'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.\n\nYesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.\n\nI stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.\n\nI feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. She cheated on you and you don’t owe her anything, including an instrument and her dignity ######"}
{"prompt":"For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.\n\nSo on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad. \n\nSo we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat. \n\nShe then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.\nThis was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her. \n\nOn the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming. \n\nFor context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ######","completion":" NTA. She can’t treat you like an inferior and then expect you to be over the moon about her joining in on your birthday celebration. There’s probably a reason her kids don’t want to celebrate with her. Good on your Dad for refusing, I hope you enjoyed your celebration with him regardless of her attitude. ######"}
{"prompt":"i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ######","completion":" NTA. she can’t respect your personal property, which is a big red flag. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled \"HEY!\" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said \"your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc.\" Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?\nTl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######","completion":" NTA. She can't expect silence in a public park.\n\nThat said, you're keeping a safe 6 feet away due to corona, right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my grandmother. Rent is $900 and we each pay half. Recently this person decided to bring in their grown 50 year old drug addict son because “he has nowhere to go”. He does have somewhere to go. He has a house he was living in but his wife recently died and she took it upon herself to allow him to live with us. I had absolutely no say in the matter despite being extremely uncomfortable about the entire situation. This man has multiple drug charges and has threatened to kill people. He has never worked a day in his life. \n\nAt first she said it would only be a couple of days. It’s been nearly a month and he’s still here. Rent free. Hasn’t lifted a finger and he’s eating our groceries. He’s also gotten high in our home on heroin twice. I used to help out substantially with the groceries also but have since stopped and only buy the groceries for myself. \n\nThis month I only have her $300 in rent money. She asked for the rest because she’s low on money and can’t pay her car insurance. She’s low on money because she’s been treating her addict son like a king, buying all this food, cooking three times a day and withdrawing cash for him from her checking account. \n\nI said that since we have a third person living in the house who I had no control or say over, it is unfair for me to continue paying half the rent and that he can get a job and pay the remainder. ######","completion":" NTA. She can enable him all she wants, and she’s probably going to. But you’re not required to do so. She needs to enable him on her own dime.\n\nETA: but you do still owe the agreed-upon rent. You also have the ability to demand that he not impact your life, groceries, etc. She’ll likely agree, but won’t be able or willing to make it happen. Basically you’re gonna have to move out. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother remarried a few years ago which meant a new step sister who is 2 months older than I so when my family moved schools I ended up at hers and she became once of my main bullies. One reason was for being ‘out’ as Bisexual. Last week she rang our family (we’ve both lived out of home for 2 years now) and we so excited to tell us she was dating the girl of her dreams.\n\nI didn’t say anything at the time about it but I’ve since gone full no contact with her over it, my mother is on the fence about the issue and my step father says he doesn’t care if we talk or not as we never really got along\n\nSo AITA for cutting off contact. ######","completion":" NTA. She bullied you, for god's sake. You should have cut contact then and there. \n\nAlso, it seems that she probably, maybe bullied you to hide her own sexuality which makes her a coward. 🤷 ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.\n\nA few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.\n\nLater, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)\n\nAm I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ######","completion":" NTA. She broke up. You are hurt too and have the right to delete whatever picture you wish from your personal account. ######"}
{"prompt":"My BF [34M]  and I [27M] have been together for nearly 5 years. We have 2 kids together from his previous marriage. Throughout the years, I could see that his mother is toxic for us and our 2 kids. His mother  would always guilt trip him into supporting her lavish lifestyle. From paying for her incredibly expensive therapy to even buying her designer bags and shoes, he did it all. When he refuse or reluctant, she would always bring up her difficult divorce and how she could go back to using and drinking. \n\nOur youngest son recently got diagnosed with High Functioning ASD ( suspected Asperger's). We have been making financial plans on how to accommodate his development (therapy, education etc.) \n\nMy BF's mother however decided to sign herself up to one of those \"therapy\" vacation trip to Europe and expected her son to pay for it. When I explained that we could not afford to pay for it, she went off on how her mental health needed the money more. Our kids didn't need all those therapy until later in their life she said. \n\nThat was when I told her to get the f out of our house. I've told him that I don't think it's fair for him to support her financially while expecting me to cover majority of our household expenses. I've been doing that for 2years. I told my BF to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids since he clearly didn't care about them that much. AITA?\n\nTL;DR: My BF's mother is financial dependent and emotionally manipulative. I've told him to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids. ######","completion":" NTA. She basically threatens to self-harm if he doesn’t cave and that is HOT GARBAGE. Just be careful on legalities. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so \"old\" and has not found \"the one.\" I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings. \n\nMy daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year. \n\nRecently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.  \n\nI feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy. \n\nBoth my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. She asked a question, you gave an honest answer. May not have been what she *wanted* to hear, but it sounds like it's what she needed. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.\n\nI went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.\n\nI returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.\n\nWhen I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door.  I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway.  The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there.  Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.\n\nAfter a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe.  He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe.  I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.\n\nI later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Serving legal documents is a completely reasonable exception to the idea you shouldn't force people to reveal their deadname. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ######","completion":" NTA. Seriously, what is that guy even thinking? Your concerns are valid, and also, leaving town for a fun thing and leaving your wife alone with a newborn is the stuff that gets mentioned in couples therapy and divorce proceedings years after the fact. \n\nIt may be worth asking him to cut it out. I don't know. You are definitely not the asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.\n\nMy relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?) \n\nHe would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.\n\nHis partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.\n\nThen come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.\n\nLast week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.\n\nI haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.\n\nBut the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Send him nothing. The sister of the father of my child asked for photos, I sent one on the condition it was not shared with their mother (my child's biological grandmother). Biological grandmother posted the picture online within an hour of me sending it to the sister along with a caption about how I was keeping her grandchild from her and sent her internet friends to harass me. I came off facebook after that. The father of your child has done nothing, just dropped out of her life for around 18 months without a word, and the only times you gave him photos you were slandered online over them. He does not get photos. Depending on your custody agreement, he could consider himself lucky if you let him see his child ever again. ######"}
{"prompt":" Dow to quarantine my sister-in-law sends her 9yo son to stay with me and my husband. Its was the best solution because she and her husband are both doctors. \n\n My husband is a photographer and I am an editor and colourist. Because I worked from home in the quarantine I relocated my computer in a little room, which I and my husband didn't use. I have a very expensive computer and I didn't want my nephew even look at it. My husband told me that he was mischievous. I was met with the child only once, at our wedding, and he was pretty restless. \n\n I have left the house for groceries with my husband. The kid was home alone just for a quarter-hour. He had open the room, that I have \"hidden\" my computer and somehow he had broken the hardware for the colour correction, one of three monitors and the mouse. All that cost around 2500$. \n\n When I told my sister-in-law to cover at least the half cost, she responded that she wasn't her fault, that her son \"is just a kid\" and she doesn't have to pay me back because \"I am a entitle person, who didn't have a real job and I want to steal her money from her duty.\" ######","completion":" NTA. Send him back to his parents. Having him stay with you obviously isn't working out. He's 9. He's old enough to know when he shouldn't touch something. He disrespected your home and the consequence is that he doesn't get to be there anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because my family members use reddit.\n\nI (13F) finally got my own room after years of having to share it with my sister (10F). From the age of 5 to 11, I had to share a room with her, and it was awful. She would take my stuff and throw it on the ground, this caused my mother to think I was creating the messes. This would cause me to be yelled at and forced to stay in my room all day cleaning it up. When I was 12, we moved, where I had to share a smaller room with her.\n\nNot even a week moving in, my sister created a huge mess. At that point, I said \"screw it\" and started sleeping on the couch, as I did not want to deal with her. Eventually, after I turned 13, we moved again, this time, it was just my mother and I who moved. My two older siblings went to live with their father, and my little sister went to live with her father. I finally have my own room, I keep it clean and tidy.\n\nBecause of the virus, my sister has been living with us because her father doesn't have a computer to do schoolwork. She is still as messy as ever, and I told her she cannot go into my room unless I say she can. This is mostly because I don't want her to make a mess that I have to clean up. Her messes are awful too, one time we found ants in our room because she left food out. Even still, when she comes into my room, she leaves her trash everywhere.\n\nMy mother thinks that I'm being unfair to my sister. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Seems perfectly reasonable, especially given her past history of trashing places. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc. \n\nI absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things. \n\nWhen I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday. \n\nI was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything. \n\nHe is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them. \n\nAm I TA for not helping them clean up? ######","completion":" Nta. Seems like you cleaned yesterday and now it’s his turn. But honestly your kids are old enough to start cleaning up after themselves. Will it be perfect? No. But I mean it’s their room. If they won’t help clean up maybe they need less toys and books in their room ######"}
{"prompt":"My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy. \n\nHe said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste. \n\nHowever, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting. \n\nI usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends. \n\nI wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ######","completion":" NTA. Seems like something special you were really looking forward to and he ruined the sparkle of it by opening the cheeses and giving them to his guys before you got to enjoy it together. Not to mention he didn’t pay for it. If he doesn’t see this is a problem, I would take the trash out! ######"}
{"prompt":"So\nAbout a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. All that was explained to me was that she found someone else and wanted to end things amicably.\nAs far as I'm concerned, things ended amicably and there are no hard feelings regarding it to my knowledge.\n\nA couple weeks later she texted me and was asking how things were, I maintained a relatively normal conversation, but told her that I was also involved with someone else. She started sexting me, describing in detail what she would have wanted to do with me had we stayed together. After a bit of this, I ended the conversation, and she sent a final message along the same vein. I did not reply. She openly admitted to being aware that I don't tolerate cheating, but continued anyway. Last I heard, she's really mad at me for not responding, but also kinda upset that she picked the other guy (according to a mutual friend, he has some mental issues. Don't know what, Don't wanna know).\n\nSo, am I the asshole for not responding, as she claims? ######","completion":" NTA. Seems like she wanted you to come crawling back to her and is now upset that you found someone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"My Nephew (14) has been going through a rough patch. He’s continually acting out and getting in trouble. Both he and his mother decided they needed a break, and he’s staying with his father for the next month to go camping.\nHe keeps calling home to complain to his mom about his Father and stepmom over trivial matters (usually food). He’s also doing nothing but watching videos on his phone and used up all the data we had. It was the end of the month so it wasn’t a big deal, but I warned him not to use all of our shared data on our family plan (5 people share it) or I would have to suspend his phone until he gets back. \nWell sure enough he used our entire data plan (6gb) in one night watching videos. So this morning I suspended his phone.\nAITA for suspending the phone?(he can still use WiFi, and call his mom with his fathers phone. )\nI know he’s homesick, and emotional. And that having his own phone allows him to feel a measure of control and relief. I could switch our old plan to unlimited for another $120 more a month, but I’m cheap and that seems ridiculous. ######","completion":" NTA. Sadly he has to learn. $120 more a month to accommodate is a lot of money, I wouldn’t call yourself cheap for not wanting to spend the extra money. As harsh as it feels now, he’ll grow up to realize that entertainment costs money and sometimes you have to make sacrifices from what you want for what you need. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is kind of weird and I guess NSFW. \n\nI’ve been just chilling in my room naked for these past few days because it’s comfortable. I don’t really do this normally. My mom got really angry at me and told me that I had to put cloths on. I told her I’m just in my room and I put on cloths if I want to leave, it’s her own fault if she comes in without knocking first (I’ve told her a bunch she needs to knock, she’s walked in on me changing one too many times..) and it’s not like I’m walking around the house like this. I feel like my room should be my own space and I shouldn’t have to worry about how appropriate my attire is. She said she doesn’t care and ‘what if there’s an emergency?!’\n\nThis is the kicker though: my dad hangs around the house exclusively in his underwear when he’s home. And I’m just like wtf?? It just seems so hypocritical to me lol. She never says a word to him. \n\nI know this is super weird, but I have to know, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Rooms are for being naked. At some point you’re going to shower and come back to your bedroom naked. I bet your mom’s not barging in unannounced then. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend told me that she wanted to show me an interesting prayer in her religion (she's Hindu btw and I'm a Catholic). I told her very politely that I will watch her say the prayer and not do it as I don't believe in her gods.\n\nChristianity is based on monotheism and I cannot pray or worship another god, but I shall definitely stand and respect all gods and rituals and definitely celebrate their festivals.\n\nShe got offended and said that I wasn't tolerant towards other religions and that I was disrespecting her God, religion and beliefs by not taking part.\n\nShe then told me that when she was in a Christian school, she said all her prayers to Jesus. I told her that was a personal choice and that my belief is that there is only one God and all other religions are praying to different forms of that God. \n\nShe wouldn't listen to any of it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Religious freedom means that you are free to _not_ say prayers as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.  \n\n\nOne of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ######","completion":" NTA. Regardless of your gender identity, your very natural leg hair has precisely zero impact on your parents. Your mom is the selfish one thinking your choice to shave or not has anything to do with her. You're not disgusting. You are valuable. You don't need their approval. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep. \n\nApparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.\n\nWhat?\n\nI said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. \"Cleaned\" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Regardless of his mum being nosey or not I would not want my mother or mil going around my house cleaning. I also wouldn't hire my mother unless she was strapped for cash and even then I'd give her money before hiring her. Is that normal for him to hire his mother  to clean his house? ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t\/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######","completion":" NTA. Regardless of her mental health issues, I suspect the screaming is a **habit** rather than an uncontrollable utterance {such as cussing with Tourette Syndrome.}  \n\n\nIt would be enlightening if you looked up her exact diagnosis in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to see if screaming is a symptom. The DSM is a multi-volume reference book used by psychologists to diagnose mental health issues, and it can be found at many large libraries at their Reference Desk. You could look at and make photocopies of Reference Desk books but they cannot be checked out. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage\/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.\n\nMy friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates. \n\nThe problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.\n\nSofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Recipe for disaster and your right to avoid it. I know someone who did something like this and the place ended up with thousands of dollars worth of damage and filth and was unlivable. ######"}
{"prompt":"So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people. \n\nAnother problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying. \n\nToday I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer. \n\nWhen I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me. \n\nNow she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here. \n\nShe responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc. \n\nOnce again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole. \nThe thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly.  I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law. \n\nI'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language) \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Really, if the elderly die from the virus because they don't respect the rules, that's on them. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have had my niece and nephew for over 2 years (1,190 days to be exact). My sister has severe mental health issues and a one day she was having a pretty bad breakdown and was a danger to the kids. We went and picked up the kids and her husband said he would take her to the hospital. He then did NOT take her to the hospital or to get any other kind of help. Instead they left their 2 children (2 years old and 2 months old at the time) with us for an entire month without even bothering to check on them that entire time. Finally after a month of that my sister’s husband took her to the hospital and she told the hospital that she had been abusing her children and so CPS got involved. \nAnyway, long story short, we ended up becoming official foster parents for the kids, the parents voluntarily terminated their parental rights, and as of yesterday we’ve officially adopted them. In the process of adopting the children we gave them our last name (they previously had their bio father’s last name) and the bio father’s family is PISSED that we changed their name. The bio father says he feels “betrayed” and wants to have a “serious talk” with us. I’m inclined to say “No. They’re our kids now. They should have our last name. There is nothing to discuss.” What do you think Reddit? AITA?\n\nEdit—- someone below commented that 1,190 is over 3 years and they are correct. I can’t math. It’s actually been 825 days since they first came to live with us. ######","completion":" NTA. Really bio dad? *You* feel betrayed? This fool has some real nerve trying to be the victim in this situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"My entire childhood and adolescence life I strived to be this independent woman. I am now 27 and a housewife.\n\nThe other day I drove to my hometown to visit with a few friends (restrictions have been laxed in my province). We were catching up talking about our lives and having a blast. Of course our careers came up in conversation. Both are well established in their respective fields. Previously I was working in healthcare and they were surprised I am no longer working. \n\nThey ask why. I reply, \"My partner is doing very well in his field and are financially well, he even has gotten two promotions since working for this company after three years! We decided since my health is not the best it would be beneficial for me to stay home and take care of the house.\" Also, my partner works out of town for a month at a time and I was working full time, so splitting house work is not very feasible.\n\nWe continued our night having a few drinks and playing games. The next day as I'm driving home I recieve a few texts saying along the lines of, \"we're glad you're doing well but I cant believe you had the balls the rub it in our faces that you are not working and are a housewife. We thought you were a feminist and had more respect for yourself \"\n\nI am proud of my partner, I thought I explained my life choices in a non intrusive way. But now I am starting to think otherwise.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA for leaving my career to take care of the home?\n\nTLDR; Left my career in healthcare to become a housewife. Which upset my friends who are \"woke\" as I also bragged about my financial situation. ######","completion":" NTA. Real feminism is about having the freedom to do what you like for profession. If you’re happy, you have very right to be a housewife. ######"}
{"prompt":"A girl from my high school posted a video of herself screaming the n word with her mother. Another girl posted a picture of herself with blackface and calling herself a n word on her Snapchat story. She also happened to have a VSCO account where she posts pictures of her weed and alcohol. I emailed my principal and my state’s athletic association that manages my school’s sports. My friends thought that I did the right thing, but my parents got mad at me when I told them what I did. They said that I was ruining the girls’ lives and that they didn’t deserve to be kicked out of school since they were young. Now I think it wasn’t my place to report them. So Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Racism should not be tolerated. ######"}
{"prompt":"Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked\/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job \n\n(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it) \n\nAm I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######","completion":" NTA. Putting in a lock causes no more damage than hanging a shelf. He's most likely pissed at the perceived lack of trust and lashed out in an immature way. If that's what he's like all the time, I'd say you were spot on when you installed that lock. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have a niece and nephew, my nephew is 3 and my niece is 5 months old. Ever since my nephew was born my sister has just randomly dropped him off anytime she wanted without even asking me first. Most of the time she will drop them off with 20 bucks and expect me to watch them on the spot. I usually just end up watching them because they are just kids and did nothing wrong, but at the same time how are you going to drop your kids off to someone else and expect them to drop everything they are doing for you every time. Just recently she started texting me asking me to when it's late at night and I am in bed, then she will drop them off anyways even if I don't reply.  \n\n\nNow don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew, even though my niece always cries when her mom leaves and my nephew needs to learn how to use his inside voice some, but they are great kids and I love them lots.  \n\n\nSo now as of yesterday I had just found out one of the people from my second family had just passed away, he was only 40. The reason I told that is to tell this, saw a post on fb yesterday about my mom saying she would watch my niece and nephew again while my sister worked, and my sister replied that she explained everything in text. I know I am a bit of a jerk for snooping through my moms text to her (only the ones from the previous conversation), but apparently my sister knew my friend who was like family to me had passed and proceeded to tell my mom \"Your son can watch them for 5 minutes\", then she proceeded to b\\*\\*\\*\\* my mom out for giving my niece formula when she's told her no in the past.  \n\n\nI don't really feel like it's my responsibility to watch her kids, even though I do enjoy their company and love seeing them, but still is it really my responsibility to watch them.  \n\n\nSo am I the jerk here for not wanting to watch my sisters kids whenever she wants me too. ######","completion":" Nta. Put your foot down the next time she shows up and tell her no. She is free to call and **ask** if you can watch them, but she is no longer going to get a positive response if she shows up out of the blue. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I(21m) have a twin brother and he brought two pet parrots against my parent’s will a couple years ago. My parents are retired and not in the best of health and the birds wake up early every single morning and make constant noise. My brother however couldn’t be bothered as he continues to sleep in his room until 10 or 11 am while the birds have me and my parents up at 7 am every day. Not only this but the birds need food on mornings and my brother refuses to wake up early to feed them so either me or my dad has to put food and water for them every morning. Also in the evenings we wash their cages and put more food for the bird for the night time( this is around 5 pm). My brother has this habit of not only waking up late but taking a nap around this time so again we have to tend after them. Before he brought them home he assured us that he would be the one that would he seeing after them but it’s a whole different story now and we’re getting fed up. In addition to this he says he’s planning to buy more he use he “ likes them” but refuses to see after the one he already has. What the fuck?? Every time I bring up the topic of selling the birds he throws a huge bitch fit. My mom however defends him in this saying that birds are what brings him joy and it’s not my place to get rid of them because they don’t belong to me. I’m at my wits end with this. I like pets as much as the next guy but enough is enough. Am I the asshole here??? ######","completion":" NTA. Put the birds in his room. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######","completion":" NTA. Protecting your child is the very first thing any parent should be doing, and the fact that this woman is ignoring your valid requests to keep images of your child off the internet gives you every right to report her and do whatever you feel needs to be done. ######"}
{"prompt":"So My friend (F29) picked up a friend and they hung out for a few months before I met him. I cross paths with this guy a notice some really questionable tattoos. As a 30 year old black man I'm really concerned. The next day I ask her again about the guy and she confirmed my suspicions. So I got really upset and clearly let her know that her contact with him made me feel like me and my family would be at risk and if she continued to talk to him I would no longer speak with her. Fast forward a few days and I decided to ride by her house because it was a quarter mile from the store I was going to and low and behold that fuckers SUV is parked outside. So I send her a picture of the SUV and promptly let her know I meant what I said and blocked her number. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Protect your own. Don't let them invade your life further. I respect you for setting boundaries and following through. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night. \nI have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does . \nI have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that,  I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time. \nWe have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room). \nI constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive  with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night. \nIt’s put a strain on our relationship. \nAITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ######","completion":" NTA. Pressuring you to sleep with them to your detriment, using the \"if you really care about...\" manipulation tactic. Roping you back in with the impression of willingness to change, only to yank it away once you return. That's AH behavior, and it's pretty toxic. Some people breastfeed for quite a while; I'm not qualified to say if that's normal or not, but I don't think it really has any bearing on who is the AH here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my partner are getting married in August, and we have had RSVPs back from people who say they are coming and add a +1 to the invite, and I have trouble confronting people to tell them no...\n\nBut my real AITA grievance is my mother... \n\nShe randomly calls and tells me to add this cousin or that cousin because they are family... \n\nA side of the family I have little to no contact with because after my father passed away (when I was 16) my mother upped and left me about 2 years later to deal with a broken house and no income while she went back to live with her parents.\n\nSo AITA here for telling her no and she can't just invite whoever she likes? ######","completion":" NTA. Polish up your spine, it’s hard but it’ll make you hate your wedding day looking back realizing how much you let your mom get away with because you don’t want to be confrontational. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my 2 step sisters who share a room, I guess they haven't gotten along and arguing a lot. My mom and step dad's solution is to break them up in the room and move me and my step brother into a room. I have had the same room since we all first moved in and I was like 7 or something. I have protested this hard, cause I am 17 and don't want to share a room with a 15yo who always smells bad. Like I'm not trying to be too mean but he smells terrible and refuses to shower.\n\nI asked my mom why one of them couldn't share a room with their brother cause they are all related while I'm not, and she told me to just suck it up. Since I had the smallest room I have to move out of my childhood room to my step brother's room. It sucks but its gonna happen next week, I am pretty mad cause I did nothing wrong and I AM the one getting punished while the 2 who are at wrong are getting a reward. My mom and step dad are telling me to grow up and suck it up but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Point out that as the only child who doesn't pick fights with siblings or smell like Satan's small intestine, you don't deserve to be punished. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight. \n\nI got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.\n\nThe only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.\n\nI've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards\/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible. \n\nMy friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because \"I'll look so much better than her\". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ######","completion":" Nta. Plus your body isn’t even unnatural! I am roughly the same weight and have 32dd. It’s just not a body you are used to yet. I am sorry they are acting like you are doing something wrong. You went through something traumatic and you have the right to be happy with where you are at. ######"}
{"prompt":"If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning\/afternoon.\n\nI have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.\n\nNow, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this. \n\nI say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\nTl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ######","completion":" NTA. Plenty of people shower every other day and no one can tell. Some people can't get away with this, but many can. As long as you don't actually smell, you're good.\n\nIt's gross if you got sweaty or dirty, but if you're just lazing around at home and it isn't hot or humid out, it shouldn't be a big deal. Your husband should quit micro-managing you, assuming you don't actually reek. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright for some background, I’m currently in high school (ik, my issue can’t be to significant because of my young age). Also, I workout nearly 3 hours a day in hopes of playing college football eventually. This of course has made me significantly larger than a lot of other individuals my age. \n\nOk, to the story. So due to the quarantine, I have been going on runs around my neighborhood. I enjoy running shirtless due to the Florida heat. On my route, I’ll usually pass a woman who sits on her porch, and occasionally her son playing basketball in the driveway. Yesterday, the lady flagged me down, so I stopped and looked at her. Before any kind of civil greeting, this lady starts lecturing me on decency and how it makes her son self conscious (he is at least 3 years younger btw). I told her sorry he felt that way, but it was to hot to run with my shirt on, and I started up on my route again. When I looped back around, she ran out in front of me trying to make me stop again. I just ran around her.\n\nWhen I got home and told my mother, she said the lady was out of line, but did have a point. I was surprised she had never even batted an eye to the notion before, but made me think maybe I was in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA. Plenty of people run without shirts on. Just because you're stronger\/bigger than other people doesn't mean you should have to start wearing a shirt when you run. Don't change yourself because someone else is self-conscious.   \nAs long as you're not like running naked it's fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.\n\nTonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone. \n\nI confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch. \n\nI pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today). \n\nThen I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of. \n\nHe hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for not believing him\/being suspicious? ######","completion":" NTA. Please, girl. You know he's a liar. Why are you even asking reddit? Pack your bags. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.\n\nTLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?\n\n(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######","completion":" NTA. Please take care of yourself and your own emotional well-being. :( ######"}
{"prompt":"There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one. \n\nShe said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no. \n\nWell now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no. \n\nI mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole. \n\nSo uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ######","completion":" NTA. Please don’t be a pushover she’s clearly using you as a last resort. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.\n\nFast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name. \n\nHe said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ######","completion":" NTA. Please don't marry someone who doesn't respect your autonomy, think about things any more deeply than 'its tradition', or argue points in a manner more sophisticated than 'no backsies'.\n\nThe idea that he's 'letting' you keep your name makes me want to vom. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me. \n\nThey were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop. \n\nHe started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit. \n\nAfter that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew. \n\nBut they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset. \n\nAITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######","completion":" NTA. Please break up with your boyfriend. He has no respect for you and he essentially views you as a sex object for his entertainment. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy. \n\nI asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.\n\nHe keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he \"forgot\" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning \"hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p \" he laughs and agrees. \n\nSo the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the \"oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!\" Excuse) . \n\nInstead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that. \n\nI feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have \/ what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe he’ll stop with the stupid, transparent excuses now. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout. \n\nI went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was\/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments. \n\nI haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ######","completion":" NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. He didn’t have to publicly post those comments on the video but he did. If he really cared about his future and image he wouldn’t be acting as he did. So you didn’t do anything wrong except out a racist and probably taught him a lesson at the same time ######"}
{"prompt":"My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there  as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.\n\nUnfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.\n\nI asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.\n\nWhen we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ######","completion":" NTA. piercing guns are dangerous and can cause massive issues with healing, you have no idea if it was done in a sterile environment and if the person had any training with hepatitis or infection prevention, also cartilage piercings are harder to heal, they take longer and can get infected easily. also there are nerves in the cartilage that if pinched can cause damage. I'd take your kid to a dr to get tested, piercing guns are made of plastic and cannot be properly sterilized between uses. ######"}
{"prompt":"my mom dropped her phone in the toilet at WORK the other day. she put her phone in rice for 40ish hours, and today, she USED THAT RICE TO MAKE LUNCH.\n\ni told her there's no way im eating that, because her phone was in it. even if it hadnt dropped in a toilet, its DISGUSTING. she said its okay, since she disinfected her phone after it fell in the toilet and she washed the rice before making it.\n\ni still absolutely refuse to eat it, she said that im being nitpicky and that its not a big deal. AITA??? ######","completion":" NTA. Phones are extremely germy and filthy and even though she disinfected it I still wouldn't want rice that has had TOILET water on it. Idc if that stuff got washed, that's still gross IMO ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F18) have pretty severe arachnophobia. I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but seeing spiders can send me into what I call “cringe attacks” where I kinda spasm uncontrollably for a few minutes while physically cringing, and there have been a few cases where seeing too many spiders in one place or too close has caused me to have panic attacks. I’m not scared of them hurting me (I live in a country where they’re usually harmless) I just can’t deal with how they look or move. I can’t even look at videos or pictures of them.\n\nI’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember and have usually relied on my parents (mostly my dad) to get rid of spiders for me if I see them. I try my best not to be a bother but my parents usually get angry at me anyway because of what I do to avoid them. (I won’t shower if there’s one by the bath, I’ll avoid going to the toilet for as long as possible if there’s one nearby, I’ll refuse to go in areas of the house where spiders usually are, etc). There have been several occasions where I’ve gotten into trouble for trying to sleep downstairs or in the hallway because I woke up at 4\/5am with a spider in my room and didn’t want to wake anyone up to make them get rid of it.\n\nI’ve brought up therapy a few times but they both just say I’m being difficult and that I’m overreacting and need to get over it myself. I can’t set up my own appointment because I’m autistic and have social anxiety. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment now because of the current situation.\n\nI’m not sure what else to do, but maybe they’re right? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Phobias aren’t choices. You’ve expressed to your parents that you would willingly participate in therapy and that it’s something you want to do, and instead of enabling that they are continuing to complain about and berate you about a problem they're standing in the way of solving.\n\nThe positive here is that you are an adult and can make the decision to engage in therapy on your own. If your social anxiety and autism keeps you from being able to call or approach the therapist over the phone or in person, is there someone trusted in your friend group or at school that you could have help with the process? There’s also online therapy that can be done without having a counselor face-to-face, either through email or text chat. I would urge you to look into all of your options there. ######"}
{"prompt":"About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.\n\nWe park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.\n\nWe ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is. \n\nSo we just keep it. \n\nLast Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring. \n\nSo she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it. \n\nThis morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!\n\nAlso it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.\n\nWIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ######","completion":" NTA. Pet rabbits shouldn't be free range. You're just trying to protect it. The owner doesn't seem to have much knowledge or care for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to keep this as concise as possible. \n\nMy wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.\n\nI cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.\n\nMore recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######","completion":" NTA. Personally I'd think enabling what is probably an addiction would make you TA. You're not forcing her to workout or degrading her. You shouldn't have to make double the meals. Encourage her to get therapy. ######"}
{"prompt":"The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)\n\nWe have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.\n\nLast night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.\n\nMy wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.\n\nSo tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there) \n\nAs we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.\n\nI honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######","completion":" NTA. Personally I probably would've made them come back and help last night, but cooking one dinner because they bailed on cleaning up is super reasonable. They're old enough they should be learning how to cook anyway (especially the 17 year old but even 13 is plenty old enough to know your way around a kitchen)\n\nThe best punishments are also skills. You didn't randomly take their electronics or something that's totally unrelated. You're teaching them the amount of work that actually goes into a home cooked dinner and that they need to value other people's efforts for them. Honestly good job ######"}
{"prompt":"So I was selling a couple of my son’s old baby items online and as I was cleaning out the garage, I saw a Bugaboo pram set we borrowed from a friend when my son was younger.  So I called her to see if she wanted to come to get it and she asked if I could sell it with my items for her and she wants $300 for it, and sure I’m fine with that. \n\nSo a few people had some interest in the pram and I finally got an interested buyer one evening who would come and collect it for the $300 the next morning. We swapped numbers, address etc and in my eyes its sold unless she doesn’t come and get it in the morning.\n\nIn the morning I had another lady message me about the pram and I advised her that it’s pretty much sold pending pick up\/payment and that the lady is actually coming to collect it this morning and if she doesn’t get here by lunchtime I will release it to her instead, because the deal was morning pick up\/payment. This new lady was quite desperate it seems and offers me $350 if I cancel the other lady now and give her the pram. But I said no sorry its sold pending and I’m not sure if the lady is already in her car driving to my house I just can’t call her and turn her around if she were.\n\nI told my friend this happened when I gave her her money and she calls me TA because I didn’t cancel one woman and accept the other woman and get her the better price and now she’s responding to me with one word responses. WTH? ######","completion":" NTA. Perhaps your friend should’ve sold her own damn pram if she could’ve done it better. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak. \n\nAbout 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.\n\nWe finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. People will always, always make someone else’s wedding about themselves. She should have spoken more with you about it instead of boycotting your wedding altogether. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a \"micro influencer\" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. \"Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind.\" That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######","completion":" NTA. People who use other people’s conditions for clout if fucking disgusting. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology\n\nSo I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.\n\nFor clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.\n\nI ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat\n\nI ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her\n\nWhen we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.\n\nI am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######","completion":" NTA. People tend to act out at people closest to them. It looks like your sister is doing the same. And considering her age she probably doesn't know how to deal with certain and possibly new feelings\/emotions yet. It's always so much easier to make someone else the bad guy than to deal with your emotions. Yay for puberty. \n\n\nIt can also be a very inefficient way to get your attention. As you get older relationships change and the way you spent time together. Try to make some time and do something together that you used to do. Hopefully this will help her break out of this negative focus on you and stop her from overreacting when she's  experiencing negative emotions. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us.  Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker\/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior.  The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common.  Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change.  The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it.  Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work.  AWTA? ######","completion":" NTA. People pick the same name. They're in no position to demand that you don't use a particular name. If people could \"claim\" names we'd have far fewer Mikes in the world. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.\n\nMy close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. People need to stop treating autistic people (especially high functioning) like useless babies. He knows that how he is acting isn't appropriate. Good on you for calling him out because, it seems obvious that no one else is holding\/teaching him to acting like a decent person. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, a little bit of background. \n\nMy sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here. \n\nWell, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. People need to grow up and do the right thing until this is over. You did the right thing, she did not. This is how people get sick, and this is how people die. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nI (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.\n\nam i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######","completion":" NTA. People get caught up in blood realations and the idea of \"But they're *family*\" meaning that you need to forgive them for pretty much anything. They don't get that being related by blood doesn't stop some people from being horrible. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats\n\nLast week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there.\n\nI told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ######","completion":" NTA. People can't get pets without consulting the other humans they live with. That's just a basic rule of living with others.\n\nIt's actually pretty weird that your BF doesn't care about how this is affecting you. Is he planning on getting rid of the cat and this is temporary? ######"}
{"prompt":"I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.\n\nSo around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints. \n\nAnyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg. \n\nHalfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?\n\nTL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######","completion":" NTA. People around you should be understanding of your medical conditions and help you out. You can’t help your physical condition and they should understand your limitations and support you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though. \n\nI have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc. \n\nIt's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. People are usually sick for days or weeks, not *months* (unless it’s something really bad). If this has been going on that long, she needs to see a doctor, because there’s a chance it could be something fairly serious. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for \nabout 5 1\/2 months, and I quit martial arts \nbecause I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its \"dangerous\" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.\n\nHe says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself. \n\nI told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a \"horrible boyfriend\" and makes me not do the things I like. \n\nEven though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with. \n\nI don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?\n\nalso sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######","completion":" NTA. Partners should be excited for each other trying new things\/being involved with things they love. He doesn't want you to do it because not doing a sport is something you have in common right now? That's a load of crap. He sounds insecure and clingy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately. \n\nSo now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being \"extra\" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd\/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Parents need to start teaching their little boys that they don't get to just devour all the good and easy food in the house because they are hungry or just want to eat it. It's mind-boggling to me how many posts there are on here and relationship advice Reddits about full grown men eating all the leftovers or good snacks without thinking of leaving any for anyone else, including their own children. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.\n\nI am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.\n\nHusband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.\n\nI felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her,  especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\nEdit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.\n\nAlso I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######","completion":" NTA. Parenting is supposed to be done together and watching her for 2 hours shouldn't be too hard, especially when you seem to take care of her the rest of the time. He could and should help you more and\/or help you pay for a babysitter because it isn't fair for him to make you take care of her like 99% of the time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (22 F)  mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted). \n\nA couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room. \n\nIt’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Overweight or not you don’t deserve to be treated like shit. I’d say you gave her exactly what she gave you and nothing uncalled for or excessive. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer.  The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it.  The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100\/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened. \n\nNow when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around.  And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment.  When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling.  She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent.  We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her. \n\nShe thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if\/when we get married or have kids.  I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon.  With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future.  So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ######","completion":" NTA. Our cat was only 2.5 when he became very ill. We were also in the midst of a massive (200K) renovation on our house. The vet said, \"save him or put him down.\" It was Christmas, house, 3 kids, 25th wedding anniversary.... When I called hubby I said, \"let this be my anniversary and Christmas gift.\" He is usually quite generous at milestones. He replied, \"save the cat but you're still getting Christmas presents.\" Kids also volunteered to give up their Christmas for him. Cat is 13 now and we've never regretted saving him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.\n\nMy sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Others are telling you to call CPS. Another option would be to call the doctor who prescribed the braces, tell him\/her about the situation and see if they would be willing to make a phone call to your sister to request a follow-up appointment where they can disabuse her of the notion of \"his natural progress\" and emphasize the importance of wearing the braces. You could also tell your sister you will call CPS unless she starts putting her son in braces. Since image is important to your sister, maybe her fear of looking like a bad mom with a CPS record will be worse than the embarrassment of a child in braces. ######"}
{"prompt":"So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation. \n\nMy family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making. \n\nOn one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel. \n\nNext month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ######","completion":" NTA. OP, for your own health and happiness, please avoid people who treat you like this. It's nice of you to show concern for their views, but ultimately, they have shown that they do not really care about you. It's probably a good idea to just move away. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”\n\nI was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24\/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.\n\nWorker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.\n\n(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)\n\nMe: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.\n\nWorker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself. \n\nMe: I don’t mind waiting.\n\nCashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.\n\nMe: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.\n\nCashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out. \n\n(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)\n\nMe: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)\n\nBasically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.\n\nSo Was I? ######","completion":" NTA. One polite \"no thanks\" should have been enough. Worker could have moved on to the next person after you said no. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got divorced when my kids were 4 and 5.  Their mother found a new man one year after the split, who she subsequently married and the children have lived with them full time since. \n\nAs a single person I’ve struggled financially paying 100% child support as well as my own bills. On the other hand they have had annual foreign ski holidays as they’ve had a double income as well as the child support payments. My ex and I really don’t get along. \n\nI’ve accepted the financial situation always with no issue, pay the child support, live a low cost lifestyle. The kids and I have a great relationship and see eachother weekly. Two years ago I met my current partner, we now live together and our income is about the same as my ex and her husband, although I’m a long way behind financially. \n\nMy older child finishes school and turns 18 in November. I no longer have to legally pay child support. She will however go on to college and is likely to stay living with my ex.  She earns enough through her part time job for her own spending money, fuel etc. \n\nI don’t want to pay my ex any more. I know that she’ll say I should as our child still lives with her and I can afford it, but I’d really rather put it towards my mortgage as I’m over 50. \n\nI’d be happy to contribute $ if she moved out, but this is unlikely.  I’d also be happy to have my child move in with me, but this is unlikely. \n\nAITA for not wanting to give my ex any more child support money?\n\nTLDR : I don’t want to pay my ex child support after our child turns 18, even though our child lives with her. ######","completion":" NTA. Once your child is 18, you could always arrange to give her some money directly? It could be a regular thing, or an \"Here I have some spare bucks this week\" or \"here, I can pay for that thing for you\". Whatever agreement you come to, with your child. Leave your ex out of the equation after 18. ######"}
{"prompt":"Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim. \n\nOne day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way  home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out. \n\nNow it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin. \n\nAITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ######","completion":" NTA. Once you told her you didn't like it it should've either stopped or she should've discussed with you, not disregard your feelings. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for obvious reasons, mandatory apology for the bad formatting.\n\nI (19f) have a friend, lets call him Thomas, basically hes been on a paypig website, ( men will pay money to have women insult them or humiliate them) on this website its mainly anonymous, a fake screen name and a few photos, and there aren't many gay guys he can profit from, that being said hes asked to use my pictures to essentially catfish these guys. At first i didn't have an issue with this, he said we'd split the profit 50\/50. He would ask me to send pictures with my finger on my nose, things like that because the guy wanted to know if it was really me etc. No big deal.\n\nHes made about 2000 dollars since this has started, and we've split it evenly. I asked him to stop using my photos because the requests for photos he'd been asking me for were getting extreme and making me uncomfortable.( pictures of me trying to lick my toes things like that) He agreed and understood.\n\nIm just finding out that hes been getting photos off my snapchat stories, and my instagram to use and send to these guys while still making money. I asked him about it and he said hed send me 100 dllars out of the 1000 he made. I asked for the 500, because A) Its me in the photos and B) because i asked him to stop. He sent me the money and has been really passive aggressive.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Once you decided you didn’t wAnt to do this anymore, they should have been it. For him to keep using your photos is a major betrayal of your trust. Sounds like it’s tine to block him on all of your social media accounts. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly.  She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it. \n\nThe thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”.  Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it. \n\nAnother thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Once the money is in an account that is under her name you have no control over it and she can spin whatever narrative she likes to anyone who questions it. Or she can simply hold it over your head to control you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 33 weeks pregnant, still working full time in an active job (classed as a key worker) and have been told recently that the baby isn't growing as well as it should be and we may have to deliver early.\n\nMy partner has recently started working part time (after being furloughed from part time) and has always had this annoying habit of putting his phone on flight mode whenever he sleeps or takes a nap.\n\nI've brought up to him several times that he should just turn off all  notifications (if he wants to sleep undisturbed), as he will be unreachable, if there was an emergency and he could very well miss the birth of his first (and probably only) child.\n\nThe last time I said this to him was yesterday and still his phone was on flight mode when I messaged him after work today.\n\nI think it's a dick move for him to have put his phone on flight mode, given the circumstances and sent him a message, basically telling him that if he puts his phone on flight mode again, then I won't inform him if I go into early labour or the date when the c-section gets booked for, as he obviously doesn't care if he misses the birth of his child.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. On every phone I know of you can set up \"do not disturb\" to let particular numbers go through. It's absurd for him to make himself totally unreachable given that you could need an emergency delivery at any point.\n\nAlso congratulations, I hope all goes well for you and the baby. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought \" holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep\". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to \" go feed and take care of my dog\" because \" I was away\" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ######","completion":" Nta. Omg camera in the room facing the bed? As in recording you guys being intimate? I hope that's as illegal as it sounds. That's so wrong and disgusting. Damn right you should sue her or have her prosecuted! It makes my skin crawl to even imagine, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are all teens if that changes anything. A few times a week me (male), one other guy, and 3 girls go jogging together. We are all neighbors. Me and the guy don't wear shirts and the girls don't either they just wear their bras. \n\n\nMy girlfriend was reluctant to join but she decided to come once. Afterwards she told me she didn't want me jogging shirtless with other shirtless girls. She said it makes her feel bad because the girls are attractive, have bigger boobs, are wearing short shorts, are showing cleavage, and they might like seeing me shirtless. I reassured her I only want her but she insisted I stop. I refused.\n\n\nShe says she won't break up with me over it but that I'm being an ass by continuing. ######","completion":" NTA. Omg - what’s going to happen when you go to a beach of swimming pool? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.\n\nI’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister. \n\nSo my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess. \n\nAs a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad. \n\nI’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything. \n\nThe thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit.    AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Older kids aren't free babysitters. Older kids aren't fill-in-parents. Older kids deserve their childhood and teenage and adulthood. If parents decide to have more than one kid and can't handle it, it's on the parent. What you wrote was what you were feeling in your diary. What she did was an invasion of  privacy and I don't think you're wrong at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc. \n\nA few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem. \n\nWe didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.\n\nFast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.\n\nUpon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.\n\nI said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.\n\nI got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult. \n\nAm I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.\n\nThanks in advance for all the feedback. ######","completion":" NTA. Oh, the irony. She fucks up your car and wants you to handle your own responsibilities? Pretty sure when you fuck up someone else’s property, it’s your adult responsibility to fix it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.\n\nThe entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit. \n\nHe’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1\/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home) \n\nI was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes. \n\nI know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Oh my god, run. Run far away from him. \n\nYour premature baby has come home from the NICU, is on oxygen, and your boyfriend is still chainsmoking?? I’m not even going to touch the fact that he feels entitled to your money despite literally everything else you’ve written in this post. ######"}
{"prompt":"So as far as I’m concerned this is 100% gross... but another person told me that it’s nothing and I would be rude to bring it up to my roommate.\n\nMy roommate - every month - leaves her pads wide open, laying face up on top of the trash. I’m talking fully used, bloody pads. Face up. I wouldn’t care if someone just did this in their own private bathroom, but this is a bathroom that our guests use when we have them over, and it’s clear that my roommate never tries to fold the pads up or tuck them in the side of the trash. It’s honestly startling to walk in to the bathroom and see that everyday for a week, lol. And it’s just plain embarrassing when I notice it after our guests have already used the bathroom. Plus it smells sometimes.\n\n(Btw the trash has no lid and you’re pretty much looking right at it when you walk in, it’s not under a sink or anything.)\n\nI have 3 other roommates and some of them feel similarly, but a couple other people I asked said to ignore it and not get so worked up about it. I’m really tempted to bring this up to her, but I’m a guy. Is it inappropriate for me to say something to her about it? It really needs to stop. I grew up in a house full of girls and this never happened, the pads were always wrapped up in the trash. But I also don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up to her, or how I would even bring it up. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Oh fuck no. That’s shit is disgusting. She’s gotta learn some damn manners ######"}
{"prompt":"Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######","completion":" NTA. Of course you are not the asshole. That is a huge emotional, physical and financial burden and it is completely understandable that you dread that amount of responsibility. Just because you love someone, that doesn't mean you can't want your own life and identity. I don't think that is selfish, or if it is, it is completely acceptable. Is it possible that your parents will leave you the means to pay for someone to take care of her? Then you can visit whenever you want, but still know that she is being looked after by professionals. People who are in the right mental space for such a responsibility. \n\nPlease forgive yourself for wanting out. You have already sacrificed so much. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy\/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?\n\nEdit 1:\nFor those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.\n\nEdit 2: Typo ######","completion":" NTA. Of all the ways to \"rebel\" and to express yourself, this has to be the least harmful. Makeup and polish can be removed, after all. Hair regrows. I don't understand parents who oppose this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.\n\nInitially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece. \n\nShe eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.\n\nSIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.\n\nAITA or is she just being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA. Obviously NTA. She's 100% the asshole. If she won't pay or give credit, she is not only disrespecting you and artists as a whole, she's delusional. If she can get it free, she should go do just that. ######"}
{"prompt":"In my group of friends a girl has had a crush on me for quite a long time, it was cute at first but it steadily got more and more annoying as she didn't seem to understand that I was not interested at all.  Myself and the group of friends were talking the other day whilst drinking and the conversation somehow got round to fanfiction, it's never been my thing so I wasn't really talking. Said girl however was very animated about it as it seems she writes her own and even draws pictures for it.\n\nShe must have been rather drunk as she ended up sending me a link to it out of the blue then deleted the message the next morning. I hadn't read it so still had the notification so decided to check it out. I didn't read much but what I did see was very very creepy. The main character is either me or heavily based off me and the drawings she does for each chapter are very clearly me in a gay relationship.\n\nI was creeped out so dropped her a message and asked her if the character was me, she replied \"Yeh...do you like it?\", I replied that I didn't and found it very creepy. I asked her to stop involving me in her story and drawings, I got no reply to this.\n\nI thought it was the end of this a few weeks later the subject was brought up again and I decided to check her profile out again. Lo and behold she's not stopped and has just continued. I was annoyed by this so just said in the video chat \"Hey, I asked you to stop write creepy fan fiction about me, why haven't you?\" and linked her story in the chat. She promptly left the video chat and then all the group chats.\n\nOne of her friends told me to apologise because she's highly embarrassed and doesn't want to come back to the chat. ######","completion":" NTA. number one rule of fanfic, don't show it to the creators\/actors. you were made aware, it IS creepy, and she hasn't stopped even though you asked. you can go to the website and make a complaint and maybe the mods will take it down. \n\nlook at the author of *After*. it was a Five Direction fanfic and the band has blocked her on all social media and want nothing to do with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.\n\nMy neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.\n\nOut of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends\/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.\n\nI haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Now that they want something they contact you? As you said, your masks aren't really for protection so much anyway. They don't need them, and you dont owe them anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning. \n\nI posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate. \n\nAm I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######","completion":" NTA. Nothing wrong with your kids wanting to support you. If they don’t have a mom to support today, it’s much healthier to support you than sit around bereft all day. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######","completion":" NTA. Nothing dangerous or illegal is going on. You are a 17 year old you should be able to go out with friends and have a girlfriend. This is especially when she gave you the ok but then said no when you said your girlfriend was going. I don't know what kind of cultural vendetta she has against your girlfriend, maybe she thinks you will get inappropriate or something? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.\n\nShe mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too. \n\nThen she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.\n\nShe looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Not wanting to date a single parent is totally normal, and a reason why dating apps have filters.    Also, I think your friends friend would understand. I work with a single mom (she’s maybe 32) of three boys all under the age of ten. When we first met, she flat out told me she is single and recognizes having more than one kid is a deal breaker for some men. And she’s fine with it, because she can’t control what they find attractive.\n\nYou’re not a dick, and it is unfortunate your friend got offended. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like \"I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game.\" when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######","completion":" NTA. Not unreasonable. Sounds like he is, and needs to grow up ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.\n\nInitially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece. \n\nShe eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.\n\nSIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.\n\nAITA or is she just being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA. Not only is she refusing to pay for your time and effort, she doesn’t want you to take credit for your work via your signature? That’s not “being family” as she so claims, that’s being a selfish brat. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend, both 21, have been together for about a year. I was visiting him when we went into lockdown so I’ve been staying with him and his family. For the most part I really get on with them, his parents have made some disapproving comments about me but I’ve enjoyed it here for the most part. \n\nThis coming Sunday the local church will be hosting its usual mass, and with my boyfriends parents being extremely religious, are obviously going. I’ve never ever been to church, and was brought up told to choose my religion (or none at all) when I was old enough. My boyfriend isn’t that religious either, but goes to keep his mum happy. I told him I didn’t want to go because in all honesty I think it’d just make me uncomfortable, and he told me it was just an hour of my life and to just go and “sit pretty”, which kind of pissed me off. I’ve been through a lot in my life and, although I greatly respect religions and religious people, I don’t believe in it at all. \n\nHe told his mum and it’s started some kind of war in this house, with my boyfriends younger brother saying he’s not going if I’m not. I was never rude about any of it at all. His mum is saying I’m not of the same “social status” as his family and he therefore shouldn’t be with me. My boyfriend is pissed at me saying I should’ve just went along with it to keep the peace. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Not only do you have the right to exercise freedom of religion (or from religion), churches are not the safest places to be during the pandemic for a variety of reasons. On top of that, your boyfriend’s mother is being condescending and self-righteous, and your boyfriend is getting way too upset over your decision. You two are gonna need to have a serious discussion about this matter, lest it rear its ugly head further down the line. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have several children and I always try to let them express themselves anyway they want.  My boys all have really long hair.(to their butts long)I love it, they love it. But their grandmother hates it.  She says “They look like girls” or “You are going to turn them gay”\n\nAnyway yesterday my middle son (7) went to his grandmothers house (she lives a few houses away so he rode his bike there) to pick up his game system. My MIL asked if he could stay and help her plant some veggies.  I said sure \n\nAbout 2 hours later I heard my son crying and I saw him riding his bike home.  I was initially upset because I like to watch him going to and coming from his grandparents house. But then I noticed his hair.\n\nShe didn’t cut it all off just to his shoulders. He said while he was planting grandma came behind him with the gardening scissors and cut off his pony tail \n\nWhen I confronted her she told me it was just hair.  I told her she is not allowed to talk to my children again (maybe an overreaction). But I just continued to yell and swear at her.  My anger boiled over and I called her things like “worthless” “disgusting” etc.  It went on until my husband pulled me away \n\nMy husband said his mother is hurt. And that i overreacted to a haircut. Today my son seems fine. We evened out his hair and he’s rocking a Mohawk that he loves\n\n\nBut was I TAH for yelling ######","completion":" NTA. Not only did she disrespect you, the parent, by crossing a huge line in cutting your kid's hair, but she also crossed a huge line with your kid. She violated your child's bodily autonomy by coming up behind him and cutting his hair without asking him. That's not okay. Sure, maybe you said some harsh things in the moment, but IMO that's pretty justified. And she definitely shouldn't see your kids alone at least until she sincerely apologizes and both you and your kids feel comfortable with it. \n\nAlso, does she say the things about \"turning them gay\" in front of the kids? Because...that's a big yikes. One of them may be gay, and they'll definitely know peers who are as they grow up, and knowing a relative is bigoted like that sticks with you even if they change their tune down the road. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over.  I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents.  They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing.  But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores).  Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it.  As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine.  I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.  \n\nMy sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it.  I get called a \"stoner\" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.  \n\nAt dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like \"I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh?  You drug addicted loser\".  I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs.  (this is where I might be TA) I said \"Oh yeah?  At least I didn't do this\"  and then did the hand motions for snorting coke.  Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it.  She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.  \n\nApparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her.  She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Not one bit. If she cannot take it, she shouldn't serve it. She's in problems because of what she did. Cocaine is a lot more serious than weed, and you didn't even did weed! Your brother was the one snitching on her, so no ot even that is on you. He made a judgement call. She is pissed and looking for anyone else to carry the guilt, but her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, this all started last week. My little sister is great and I love her but she is impulsive. She got a kitten a few months and all was great! She’s an awesome pet owner and it’s doing good! Well, she saw someone had these adorable balls of fluff for sale last week and thought, “fuckin gimme!” And got another one without another thought! She then texts me later that day, “The kitten and my cat don’t get along, can you take the kitten?” Well, my cat was put in the kitten room at the HS because he’s so laid back plus he could lose a few pounds. Sure, why not? So, I pick him up the next day and my big kitty and the kitten get along just fine! I post on FB “Macklemore (big one) and Kenny Rogers Jackass (kitten) (Kenny for short)” keep in mind that little sis has this kitten for a whole-ass day and hadn’t named him yet! She texted me saying I either need to give him back or change his name because it’s an awful name and I shouldn’t be allowed to name pets. I told her to pound sand and the kitten has a vet appointment this week and the paperwork is already official.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta. Not her cat anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends. \n\nA lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy. \n\nI’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Not even remotely the A. Your husband is an entitled prick if he expects you to perform on demand just because you happen to be in the same location, especially if he's asking for this while you're actively doing work.\n\nIt not being uncommon for you to end up \"providing sex for him\" is a bigger concern, honestly: I never understand why or how guys can even enjoy it if their partner isn't. Is this something you've talked to him about? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 14 and I have a 16 year old sister. My dad divorced my mom because he did not love her and I could tell there relationship was very stale. Anyway my dad found some one else and started dating when I was 10. I loved my dad and have a great relationship with him. Me and my family live in California so you can see that living expenses are really expensive.\n\nAnyway me and my dad moved into his new wife's house and I have been staying there and like my new step mom a lot. My mom and sister are very jealous as my sister disowned my dad for being leaving his wife. Right now I am staying at my moms apartment. My dad recently bought me my first phone which is an iphone xr which is an amazing device.\n\nMy sister is stuck with a 300 dollar phone so she is jealous. Anyway I was using the restroom and then I heard a loud noise like glass shattering. I went and discovered that my sister has destroyed my phone and ruined the screen and the back as the phone has glass on the back. My sister took it out of the case. My sister then yelled fuck that bitch referring to my dad.\n\nI was stunned I called my mom and told her what happened my mom could care less and told me to go ask dad to fix it cause he is rich. I told her that she should ground my sister. My mom refused telling me it's not sisters fault she does not get good things and that sister has every right to destroy property coming from dad. She said be glad you even got a phone to begin with and told me that I have no right to ask for my sister to be grounded. I might be the ass for asking for something that I should not be able to ask for as I am a kid not an adult. So I might not make proper decisions.  ######","completion":" NTA. Not at all. I cannot believe your mother would say it would be okay to destroy any kind of property, what kind of parent does that? I'm sure she must be hurt because your dad has a new wife and all that, but it is NOT okay to destroy someone else's property like your sister did, and especially not when it cost a lot of money. You're definitely not the ass, I would ask for a punishment if my (older) sibling were to destroy something expensive I got. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my gf and I have been live together for about 6 months, she moved a few hours away from her home to live with me. This was her moms first visit here this weekend. \n\nI’m currently on night shift for a few weeks, I work 7pm to 7am with 2 hours drive time to and from. I went to bed around 11 and the gf’s mom was coming that day, she got here around 12. My gf told her to be quiet since I’m working nights so sleeping during the day. \n\nAt around 12:30 she comes in my room, wakes me up and tells me “stop being so lazy, you don’t need to sleep all day, now help carry my bags from my car”. I flipped out, told her to fuck off and grab her own bags and stay out of my room. I had about 1.5h of sleep so far so not in a good mood. Well let’s just say she turned into a miserable cunt all weekend. \n\nSo aita here? Did I go too far ######","completion":" NTA. Nope. This woman crossed some serious boundaries. Third shift workers sleep during the day and deserve to be left alone. Sounds like this woman needs to stay in a hotel with a bellman if she can’t heft her own luggage. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok. I am a sophomore in high school and this happened last year when I was a freshmen. My class went on a school trip to another country, (this is easy since I live in Europe.) The first couple of days went fine, but on the third night something happened. The kids in the room next to me decided to play really loud music in the middle of the night, and since the hotel had really thin walls, everyone heard. It woke everyone up and soon I had someone banging on the room door. It was a teacher who said the the other kids had said that the music was coming from our room. Me and my roommates got yelled at in the middle of the night and all the other kids believed that it was us who was playing it. The next day after I had tried to explain that it wasn’t us, she still didn’t believe me and said that the next time I complained, she would call my parents. Later that day, while we were doing an activity and she needed a student to help her, I was called. I responded with “I don’t owe you anything, you wouldn’t even listen to me” then ignored her for the rest of the day and only spoke the bare minimum to her for the rest of the trip. So, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Nobody likes being blamed for something they didnt do. To be safe, I would preemptively call your parents and fill them in on the situation so she cant call and say something crazy to them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.\n\nWell that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ######","completion":" NTA. Nobody has commented yet but my thoughts are summarized in this statement\n\n“Josh does not help financially. If he doesn’t help financially, then your husband is within his right and is not an asshole for kicking him out. \n\nThough the comments about skinny jeans are kinda mean and unnecessary. Though overall, I see no way YOU could be the asshole. Though I want to see you what other people think about your husband. \n\nLastly, playing a prank like that on the people who are letting you live under there roof for free is just stupid behavior and if he had used half his brain he wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary. \n\nBefuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Nobody gets mother's day gifts for owning a pet. Your gf is being ridiculous. \n\n(also: did she get you anything for father's day?) ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8\/9 months till he got his place\n\nSo my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.\n\nHis flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back\n\nhe decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions\n\nGuess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ######","completion":" NTA. No one should expect you to put up with something that you don’t want to. No matter what your relationship. I am a really neat person and I can’t physical stay calm in messy\/stinky places. My ex was a SLOB, he did not care and I knew that. But during our 5 years together we NEVER got into an argument about this because he would always clean up before I came over. He would literally mop the floor, clean the bathroom, and do all of that because he knew it would make me uncomfortable. Sometimes he wouldn’t have the time to clean up and we would reach his place and clean it together before sitting down. He never expected me to just accept that he’s messy and deal with it - and that’s how it should be.\n\nPlus, I think it’s concerning that he involved your friends. It’s okay to vent out to your friends about frustrations, but including them as intermediaries in a relationship is a big no. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.\n\nApproximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming. \n\nThen one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him. \n\nWe were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.\n\nSince that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.\nFrom their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him. \n\nFrom my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. No malice, intentions were good and you were trying to help a young, dumb kid. Why is a 26 year old dating an 18 year old anyway. Gross. Good for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is sleeping in the spare room and I need an outside opinion.\n\nTonight I noticed a terrible smell coming from my boyfriends shorts. He got up from the couch and the seat smelled foul like a dirty toilet. \n\nI went upstairs and there were brown stains on the bed sheets.\n\nI changed the sheets, he sat down on them naked after the shower and left brown marks on there.\n\nWe’ve spoken about this problem before, but it didn’t change anything.\n\nI spoke to him about it again, asking why it keeps happening and if he had a medical problem. Just talking not shouting. \n\nHe told me I’m mean for bringing it up, refused to help change the sheets and has gone to sleep in the other room. I asked if he genuinely thought I was just saying this to be mean and he said yes. He said it happens to all men and it’s normal.\n\nI don’t feel like I can ignore this to save his feelings, but he’s got me feeling crazy. AITA here for bringing up something embarrassing?? I’m 28 and he’s 29 so we’re adults here in a serious relationship ######","completion":" NTA. No it doesn't happen to all men. My ass is like a shag carpet and I still don't leave a smelly brown streak whever I go.\n\nFurther, what the fuck is he doing in the shower if he just gets out and is leaving brown spots? Tell him to scrub his fucking asshole! ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\nMy sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.\n\nMy nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before. \n\nI don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.\n\nSo, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######","completion":" NTA. No is a complete sentence.\n\n\n \"I'm moving my son upstairs\"\n\n\"no\"\n\n\"but it makes sence I need the space\"\n\n\"no\"\n\n\"it will only be for holidays\"\n\n\"no\"\n\n\"but its family\"\n\n\"no\"\n\n\"why are you being like this your so mean\" \n\n\"the 3rd floor is mine, I'm saying no end of discussion\" \n\nPractice get friends you trust to help you if you can it sounds silly but it helps. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am on the phone version, sorry for the formatting issues. \n\nFor a bit of background, growing up my mother and I never got a long. She constantly pitted me against my sister, would hold food as a punishment (which grew into a severe eating disorder in my teens, I’m better now) and constantly fought with my father. She left asked for a divorce a week after my 13th birthday and left a couple days after to move in with her boyfriend and his sons. Yes, ultimately she had an affair and left. I was the only minor when she left, and she stated she did not want any custody of me in the divorce. My parents finalized the divorce when I was around 15  Hurtful, but honestly for the best. \n\nMy dad and I became best friends during this ordeal and we struggled together. I love my dad and admire how he handled everything, with so much pride to call him my dad. \n\nTo the point: The court has decided that my mother was to pay $200 a month, which isn’t a lot but we kinda all wanted to get it over with. She never paid anything. She was to pay from approximately age 15-18, a total of 3 years, or 36 months. It totals to $7,200 of child support that she hasn’t paid. I would not ask this if I didn’t need it, I’m a full time college student and I work two jobs on the side. My dad is helpful but college is expensive, and it’s a decision I made so I don’t tend to ask him for much support financially. \n\nWIBTA if I ask her to transfer the money she should’ve supported me with financially, no strings attached because she technically owes me this? ######","completion":" NTA. No I don’t think you would be the asshole, but isn’t it technically your Dad who has to chase this? Here child support is awarded to the parent who has custody, not to the child, so the child can’t chase it, it’s down to the parent who’s owed. \n\nAlso, remember this will drag up a whole load of shit, all that ill feeling will be brought up and slung into the cold light of day. It will also give your mother some power over you if she knows that this money is desperately needed. Much better to cut her out completely and do it without her money. Then she can never say “Yeah but OP only got to where they are because of my cash.” ######"}
{"prompt":"I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that \"I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days\". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######","completion":" NTA. No doubt the annoyance is real, but being a diva about a short-term, done-by-the-book inconvenience makes your neighbour a melodramatic asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people. \n\nThis happened a week ago.\nMy aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused. \nAt first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.\nMy aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter. \nMy mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.\nI don't feel like I'm the asshole.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. No authority to decide who lived in your house?! That made me chuckle. Sick to your guns,  you did good. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 weeks ago my wife was facing covid symptoms, she tested negitive about a week or so ago. One of her oldest friends was hosting about a 20 person party for her gender reveal. I told her we shouldn't go because she got over covid and I never had it. We would be break state curfue and social distance. I told her to simply call her the next day and say what happened and talk to her. Am I the asshole for not letting my wife see her friend's during this pandemic? ######","completion":" NTA. No Americans should be going to parties, 50,000 of you are catching COVID19 per day and 1500 of those will die from it. Your wife’s friend is TA for hosting such a dangerous thing and your wife is being recklessly stupid for risking her, your, and many other lives for such a self-indulgence. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'\n\ncontext: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig. \n\nonto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had. \n\na few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again. \n\nso, AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. Next time, ask Beth to borrow a rubber for school and see how she reacts. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######","completion":" Nta. Next time she tells someone just act like you have no idea what she's talking about. \n\nDont tell your mum anything else until everyone else knows. Not the name, sex, anything you might want to share, she gets last. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.\n\nI decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was \"Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded\" and then a link to the video.\n\nI wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. \"Why are you showing me this?\" and \"What are you going to do with it?\" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.\n\nDid I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ######","completion":" NTA. Next time maybe preface this by saying something like \"Let me first state that if you were aware that this video is online and consented to it, i am not judging you, and I will not share it with anyone, but I wanted to make sure you could take appropriate steps in case it was uploaded against your will\" or something similar, especially you had some history. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now.  This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet. \n\nWe only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic. \n\nHe does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.\n\nA few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.\n\nToday he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.\n\nNow i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop\/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.\n\nWIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?\n\nEdit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.\n\nAlso we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ######","completion":" NTA. Next time he comes in tell him three times he's left it a mess so you aren't allowing it anymore. Disability isn't an excuse for that.\n\nAnd he knows. I know VI people,  there's no way for him not to know he's leaving poop everywhere. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June &amp; don’t want to overlap rent &amp; mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Never hold a property without a deposit. A deposit shows if someone is actually interested or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.\nOf course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.\nA week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.\nThat is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use. \nI'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!\nNow they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Never ever give such sensible info to anyone, including partners, family or God himself. If your partner does not understand basic confidential security, you have a big red flag to consider.\n\nETA: also a big red flag is the fact that they are demanding to do things the way they want with YOUR credit info. Nope. Just nope. It's your credit card and your money, you set the terms. You are not paranoid, your partner is being very irrespectful. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys. \n\nMy SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time. \n\nI’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood. \n\nShe never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon. \n\nMy mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing. \n\nSIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that. \n\nI’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Never ever bring them shit again. You could’ve arrived with nothing and they would be in no position to complain about. Don’t feel bad for a second. Good luck in college. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was a kid I was an avid gamer. My favorite toy as a child was my NES.When I moved out of my parents house, I left many of my old systems with the instructions that I wanted to save them for the future when they built value. My mom never believed me and years ago gave my original NES to her grandson and my nephew. I was livid but wasn’t going to get mad at my nephew. Come to find out (my nephew actually told me) that it is a SUPER rare edition worth thousands of dollars to the right buyer. Now, of course, I want my system back, but I feel a little bad about it. AITA?\n\nJust to be clear, no one has CLEARLY told me “no” as of yet, but we shall see how it goes. ######","completion":" NTA. Nephew better not sell it,\nas it’s yours. You were livid at the time , presumably communicating this to your mother, so I’d get your mother to resolve the problem she caused. She is TA unfortunately. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 15 and thus still live with my parents.\n\nI have various mental health problems (DID, psychotic hallucinations, depression, etc.) that my mom connects (for some reason) to my phone. Around 2 months ago, was grounded and not allowed to use my phone for a month. During this time, I was numb. I wasn't feeling any emotion- good or bad. My mom just focused on how I wasn't feeling bad and kept giving me these talks: \"Oh, you're so much happier without your phone! Oh, you're not switching without your phone! Oh, you're not hallucinating without your phone!\"\n\nI was. I still am. In fact, being without my phone made my hallucinations worse. It made the inner world (where the parts are when they aren't fronting) worse. I just didn't tell her, because I was numb.\n\nWhen I got my phone back, I was happier and I started opening up again. As soon as I started opening up about switching and hallucinating again, she pulled me aside and told me \"When you didn't have your phone, you weren't showing these symptoms. I'm not saying you're faking, I'm just saying I can't ignore the signs.\"\n\nSo I closed off again.\n\nWhenever I try to talk to her about anything, it turns into a lecture and I get a consequence. She was asking me if I wanted to watch Saving Private Ryan and I said I shouldn't due to the nightmare I had the night before. She took my phone away immediately.\n\nSo I closed off again.\n\nAITA for not telling her anything anymore? ######","completion":" NTA. Negative punishment is seldom a health way of parenting. You need help and support, which has nothing to do with your phone. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food. \n\nThis upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.\n\nAm I being unfair here? ######","completion":" NTA. My sister and I went vegetarian and began to cook our own meals. I think supplying her with the ingredients and the cook books are a good trade off. You shouldn’t be expected to make multiple meals, it’s unfair to expect everyone to go vegetarian, and it’s cooking is a great thing for her to learn ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.\n\nShe’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.\n\nI told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. My parents didn’t care about what we listened to I. Regards to type of music. They would make sure we listened to censored or radio edits depending on our age or how bad the lyrics are but I think your ex is overstepping. I think the issue is more getting your daughter to just be respectful to her mothers rules and following them while there, even if she doesn’t agree. Once she is 18 or moves out, it should be a moot point anyways. Plus, any music can get annoying on a speaker in a shared area. ######"}
{"prompt":"Caught my neighbor spraying weedicide on my lawn (in my fenced in backyard) because she said “she was sick of all the weeds” and thought she was doing me a solid.\n\n1. I like dandelions they are good for the bees\n\n2. I have pet rabbits, dogs, cats, and a tortoise i like to roam the yard and all of them eat or at least nibble and lick the grass so it’s literally poisoning my pets.\n\nSo anyway, I kick her the fuck out and take all my pets inside.\n\nNow 2 of my rabbits are dead and another is in critical condition. I’ll never be able to let my pets outside again to eat the grass because weedicide takes forever to go away because it can sit in the soil for who knows how long and Im worried that the dogs and cats might end up having a reaction too since they also nibble the grass (call me overprotective or over cautious IDC I love my animals) \n\nSo I’m suing her for: damage to my property because it is now unusable for my animals, veterinary bills, and emotional damage due to the deaths of my two rabbits.\n\nI’m also trying to get the cops to pursue a case of animal abuse or at minimum criminal damage because she did basically poison my animals but I doubt anything will come from it because I have to prove ill-intent but they are pursuing her for criminal trespass. \n\nShe’s a Karen. I think she deserves it for thinking she had any right to be on my property at all; and especially because it’s killed my pets and now Idk what to do about my lawn because I’m not risking another animal’s life by letting them out (at least unsupervised for at least a year. However my parents and my girlfriend think I’m being unnecessarily cruel because it “was an accident and she thought she was just being a good neighbor, and that Im making it to be a bigger deal than it is” and should just ask for her to pay my vet bills ######","completion":" NTA. My neighbor did this last year and got reported to the HOA because the yard she sprayed (under the cover of darkness, so she knew it was wrong) belongs to a family with very young children. \n\nI’m sorry about your rabbits and you need to know that it’s not your fault and you are a good owner. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (15F) starting to think my mom (40somethingF) is reading my discord messages, even though I've asked her about it multiple times and she's promised she isn't.\n\nI'm sure there was times before this, but my memory is trash. Basically, one night, I was talking about some things that, let's say, I would never talk to my mom about. The next morning, she mentioned to me that I shouldn't watch any \"inappropriate videos.\" I have never watched anything like she was implying, but I mentioned being curious about things like that to the friend I was chatting with.\n\nI have gone on some rants when my mom was stressing me out, and later she would come to me and talk to me a bit about it. Just yesterday, I was ranting about how I feel like my grades (which are all As or mid to high Bs) aren't good enough for her. Later, she came and talked to me how she would be proud of me no matter what, she just wants me to have good grades, etc.\n\nI love my mom, but if she's going to read my discord messages, I want her to be honest about it. She already openly goes through my text messages, makes me give her every password to every account I have (except for this one, because I don't think she knows I use reddit). I'm fine with that, even if it can be annoying when she comes into my room and asks for my phone out of the blue. I get she has a right to do that, but I don't want her to lie about going through my messages.\n\nIs this just motherly instinct, or is she lying to me? ######","completion":" NTA. My mother used to do this to me, and I was groomed to believe this was normal. Normal people don’t do this to others. It took me decades to recognize and understand that people with attachment disorders don’t respect boundaries. She’s not just an AH, she might have a personality disorder. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (15F) starting to think my mom (40somethingF) is reading my discord messages, even though I've asked her about it multiple times and she's promised she isn't.\n\nI'm sure there was times before this, but my memory is trash. Basically, one night, I was talking about some things that, let's say, I would never talk to my mom about. The next morning, she mentioned to me that I shouldn't watch any \"inappropriate videos.\" I have never watched anything like she was implying, but I mentioned being curious about things like that to the friend I was chatting with.\n\nI have gone on some rants when my mom was stressing me out, and later she would come to me and talk to me a bit about it. Just yesterday, I was ranting about how I feel like my grades (which are all As or mid to high Bs) aren't good enough for her. Later, she came and talked to me how she would be proud of me no matter what, she just wants me to have good grades, etc.\n\nI love my mom, but if she's going to read my discord messages, I want her to be honest about it. She already openly goes through my text messages, makes me give her every password to every account I have (except for this one, because I don't think she knows I use reddit). I'm fine with that, even if it can be annoying when she comes into my room and asks for my phone out of the blue. I get she has a right to do that, but I don't want her to lie about going through my messages.\n\nIs this just motherly instinct, or is she lying to me? ######","completion":" NTA. My mom went through my shit to at that age and I hated it. Its not ok or normal. Kids deserve and need privacy. She shouldn't be doing it but I'm guessing her response will be like my moms....which was she did nothing wrong. But it is. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.\n\nThe actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.\n\nShe always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.\n\nSince an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a \"replacement ring\" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first \"fiancee\" shopping.\n\nI was thinking to say something along the lines of \"Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve\".\n\nI was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her.  I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ######","completion":" NTA. My mom actually ended up keeping her replacement ring. Her and my dad went to the Monterey bay aquarium together and she picked out a silver dolphin ring and he proposed with that lol. I wear it everyday it’s my favorite. I love that you took into account that she actually enjoys shopping with you. You’ll both get the quality time part you like and she’ll get something she’ll be happy wearing. I think it’s a win win all around :) ######"}
{"prompt":"I know what you guys are gonna say; that I hate her and she should dump me blah blah blah. She is a serial cryer and it is exhausting. Keys falls out of her pocket? Immediate breakdown. Baking didn’t turn out as she hoped? Immediate sobbing. Accidentally knocks a glass of water over? Tears begin to flow. Don’t even get me started on when she runs out of toner or lotion....Look I love her a lot but this behavior is exhausting. I have politely tried to approach her about it and try to help her with coping mechanisms but nothing works. The last straw was when she was bawling for like an hour straight  because we drove to Mcdicks for some fries and they were closed. I thought about it and I decided to just leave her alone when she starts crying. It’s not like I’m totally icing her. I’ll hold her hand and kiss her but that’s it. Idk if she’s doing it for attention or whatever but it’s seems to be actually working because stuff that she’d use to cry about, she’s managed to hold herself together. But the more I think about it the more I think that it’s some form of social conditioning lol. I don’t want to treat her like a toddler but I really cannot see myself being with her long term if this continues which sucks because other than this she’s really a great person. ######","completion":" NTA. My man, it sounds like she could use some therapy or a personal counselor. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is a professional level chef, or I guess was. Anyway, I usually cook on weekends and Fridays, and she cooks during the rest of the week.\n \nThe thing is, when she sees me cooking, she always tries to help me. Like, I don’t add enough salt, then she adds more salt. It’s super annoying, and I’ve told her to stop that or else I wouldn’t cook about a hundred times. I decided to stop last Sunday. Now, she’s getting mad at me. She says that I’m throwing a tantrum. \n \nI’m not. I’m just keeping up my words for once. If she changes, then I’ll cook. \n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. My husband was a much better cook than me when we started living together (although definitely not professional levels) and he used to do the same thing. It took me sitting him down and telling him how upset his behavior made me and why it bothered me for him to stop, now he doesn’t say anything unless I’m doing something dangerous. \n\nMy dad did the same thing to my mum when they first got married and now she never cooks because of it. It’s not a tantrum, it’s fair enough that you don’t want to do something when your partner criticizes you every time. She needs to realise just because you don’t do something the way she does it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend left upset and hasn't come back since this happened. He said I was being really nosy and that it disappoints him that I can't just mind my own business. Well, if there are 5 firetrucks in our apartment block parking lot I feel like it's not a bad thing to know what's going on. All of my neighbors were also outside (spread out and most of us with masks) and I talked to them and confirmed that everybody is safe. It apparently started as a problem with HVAC and I was able to tell them that the HVAC guy who just came to check out our unit commented on the fact that all of our systems are borderline outdated. Also, I had never seen firefighters really do their thing with the hoses and ladders before. It was honestly really interesting.\n\nMy boyfriend really dislikes it when I \"check stuff out\" though and thinks I contribute to turning someone else's misfortune into a spectacle by doing so. I can see this perspective but that's really not what I was trying to do and the situation did not have any air of spectacle to it, just everyone on the block sizing up the problem. \n\nTLDR does standing on your porch watching emergency vehicles do their thing make you an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. My husband is nosy AF but honestly it’s important to know what’s going on around your home! Particularly is something is on fire. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nA little background info; we just had a baby five months ago, I’m working from home juggling everything and he just sits around and stares at his phone when he’s home from work. His only contributions to the house are taking out the garbage and scooping cat litter. I make double what he makes, pay the majority of the bills and pay for 98% of the expenses for our child.\n\nSo since the baby has been born, my husband loves to ask stupid questions he can obviously see the answers to, like the bottle is in my baby’s mouth and she’s sucking, and he’s asking “is she eating?” (This happens every feeding he’s home to see) if I’m making dinner, he’ll walk into the kitchen and ask if I’m making dinner, when all he has to do is look and he’ll see I am. It’s incessant, and I’m actually more tired answering him all day than I am from working and the baby.\n\nToday the baby woke up earlier than normal, due to a poopy diaper. She’s a pretty happy girl, but can be a handful. He came in while I was mid poop cleaning and asked if she pooped. 20 minutes later, she spit up on me, it got on my shirt, so I stripped it off and went with her to the closet to put a new one on. “Are you changing your shirt?” I lost it.\n\nI’m not sure if I’m TA or not, because after 5 months of this, I cannot take it anymore. I asked him why he’s constantly asking questions he can observe and see the responses to, and how obvious they are, and he said “I don’t care what you do” Well, you obviously do if you’re up my ass all day long.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA for asking him to stop? ######","completion":" NTA. My husband does the same thing. But it’s almost worse. For example, he’ll see me making dinner and ask if I’m making dinner. I say, “yes” clearly and at a normal volume. He’ll respond by asking, “yes?” That’s when I lose it and say, “no genius, I’m storming the beaches of Normandy. WTF does it look like I’m doing?” Don’t be like me. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside. \n\nI have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ######","completion":" NTA. My gf's mom is just like this and it drives me crazy. If we dont relax or have fun in exactly the way she does, then whatever we're doing is stupid. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. When we started dating, he would call me a cutie pie. A couple of months into dating, he started calling me a cootie pie. The first time he called me cootie pie, I got angry because I thought he was trying to do an accent to make fun of how other indians may pronounce cutie. He explained that I misunderstood and that in Hindi, cootie meant beautiful. We've been together for 3 years and he's been calling me cootie pie at least once per day. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nOn Friday, a new girl started at work. She introduced herself to the staff. She was born in India but came her for university and stayed here. I told her I am dating an Indian man myself. She asked if I knew any hindi and I told her I know a few of words, like cootie and billi. She told me it's inappropriate to say \"cootie\" at work and that I should be more respectful. I explained my boyfriend's nickname for me is \"cootie pie\" and that it means \"beautiful\". She told me \"cootie\" means \"B\\*itch\". I apologized and said I may be pronouncing it wrong to save face.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen I got home, I confronted my husband and he laughed. He said he thought it was funny to call me a \"cootie\". I snapped and yelled at him for being so immature. I asked him to sleep on the couch and he has been for the last two nights. He hasn't apologized yet and is pretending everything is normal. So reddit, am I the asshole for getting mad? ######","completion":" NTA. My ex-husband thought it was cute to have me say terrible things in Arabic on the phone to his family. It was humiliating and counterproductive as I was trying hard to learn the language. \n\nI do not think it’s nice at all for partners to “joke” this way. ######"}
{"prompt":"So to start, this is about periods that wemon have every month so if you dont like hearing about it just leave. Also if you are homophobic\/biphobic leave\n\nSo im a teenager my periods are painful. The cramps are so bad that I want to curl up into a ball and die. The only way i function on my period is taking meds every 8 hours. My period is also very heavy and it really sucks. Ever since i first got my period me and my mom have talked about birth control because it stops your period. Not so i can mess around with guys. Now my family (my grandma and my aunt) strongly doesnt think i should. Because they belive if i start it now i wont be able to have children of my own, even though i wont because im bi and i like girls more than guys. They call me a brat for not listening to them and say i should listen to the over my mom. I'm siding with my mom and now they refuse to speak to me.  And its making me feel bad for not going with what my family belives in.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. My doctor actually put me on birth control to conserve my eggs and help me get pregnant later in life. It isn’t a guarantee, but it helps. Your aunt and grandma don’t know what they’re talking about. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ######","completion":" NTA. My daughter loves Tik Tok and it is THE MOST ANNOYING THING. I feel your pain ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé and I have been together almost six years. He came to the relationship with a very cute but very spoiled cat he has always indulged. The cat has essentially “trained” him to meet his demands by meowing loudly and being a general pest.\n\nI’ve always been good to his (our, really) pet. Feeding him, scooping litter, affection and play, buying him monthly supplies and even contributing to his medical costs. I’m a good cat mom and he tells me so. Believe me, I care about the furry bastard and his well-being.  \n\nSo kitty always has access to food and fresh, clean water and a plethora of other creature comforts. Despite this, he will often meow incessantly around 5am and scratch and knock things over because he decides he wants something. \n\nI always give him more dry before bed and check he has what he needs. Doesn’t matter. Sometimes he’ll chomp through all his food, decide he wants a faucet drink or wants his food bowl shaken or he’ll make our lives hell. \n\nTLDR: I’m sick of dealing with this every night. I’ve never had such a demanding cat and have stopped giving into it all the time. If I know he has what he needs, I’m no longer jumping out of bed to “tend” to him.\n\nI tell my fiancé it’s practice for learning how to ignore a child’s tantrum and honestly, he should have been more mindful when he was a kitten\/young cat not to reinforce this behavior. \n\nHe says ITA but after 30 minutes, the cat finally STFU and he’s sleeping peacefully. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. My cat does this too, basically. She pushes my bedroom door, making a noise, trying to get in when it is shut and I’m sleeping too so I don’t want to get up. Sooner or later she just goes away and forgets it. Your cat does the same. It will learn. It was your fiancés cat first. Why is he not jumping up out of bed to meet the cats demands? The cat has all its necessities it will be perfectly ok. ######"}
{"prompt":" My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds. \n\nAnyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge \"food pusher.\" He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.\n\nWhat's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he \"has faith I can finish it.\" When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.\n\nI have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked \"Why do you keep doing this?\" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ######","completion":" NTA. My bf is a chef too and our appetites have dropped significantly since we haven't been working out due to quarantine. He still goes to work at a different job and sometimes I pack him a lunch for his break. I've been packing a seemingly \"normal\" amount of food for him like a sandwich, an apple, and some other snacks like chocolate or cheeses but he's only been finishing half of his lunch since his appetite has plummeted. I’m not offended that he doesn’t finish it, just means there’s leftovers for tomorrow!\n\nDefs sounds like your hubby is bored and is trying to cook for you like a customer. Just calmly tell him that your appetite is just the way it is and there isn't much you can do about it.\n\nOn another note though, do you guys work out a lot? For us, exercise is a surefire way to get us to eat more than we normally would.\n\nEDIT: Thank you for all the upvotes! This is my first reddit comment with more than 2 upvotes. Really made my day. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone, I’m a 22 yo girl living in Florida with my parents. I’m the oldest of 3. My parents are very strict asian parents. Lately, my mental health has been slipping from the current events. I find happiness with taking long drives, walking around parks, and being outside in nature. I do so with safety precautions (mask and such). My parents have always made it a rule to announce when and where we are going when we leave the house. Lately, they have been prohibiting me from trying to leave the house. I practically have to fight, scream, and shout to go to a park or drive myself to the grocery store and buy fruits. If I say that I am going anyway, they yell at me, call me names like slut, stupid, bitch. I told them that I wanted to find a job so I can pay my bills and save enough to move out. I’ve sort of rebelled by coming back home in the early mornings for the past few days. They threaten to kick me out for not doing what they want. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t have a job right now(laid off from covid), but I’m trying to look for one just so I can save enough to move out. My mental health is just plummeting. I have been thinking of joining the army in a few months. They also told me not to go. AITA for all of this? ######","completion":" NTA. My best friend is a vietnamese girl living in europe and she has similar problems with her parents so I know a bit about how hard it can be to become independent in circumstances like that. My friend seems to have the feeling she owes her parents something and I guess you maybe have similar feelings about that, too? If that's the case please keep in mind: a child NEVER owes their parents ANYTHING for just being parents. That's not how it works. And as a grown up you have every right to live your life as you want, not as your parents want. You will never be the asshole for that, no matter how much your parents try to convince you that you are. ######"}
{"prompt":"A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.\n\nI was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.\n\nI explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.\n\nI was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######","completion":" NTA. Multiple lobe piercings are really likely to get winky on a child that young. Get her a few cool ear cuffs and tell her she can triple pierce at 13. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly.  She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it. \n\nThe thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”.  Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it. \n\nAnother thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Move out ASAP. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed. \n\nHis funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames\/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see. \n\nI feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ######","completion":" NTA. Mourning is deeply personal and your responsibility is to yourself and your personal memory of him. However that manifests is fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m from another country and lived and worked in to US for a few years. My mom sends me food packages every month with food, snacks, candy etc from home. This is for fun and she always sends way to much, but that’s just my mom 😁.\n\nSo I usually share with either friends, colleagues, neighbors or other people  that come over. \n\nI started a new job a couple of months ago and this was the first time I brought something here (it was a type of cookie). I explained to the people there in the moment why I brought it and put in in the break area for everyone to grab when\/if they wanted. \n\nAnother colleague started later that morning and a while after she came in she say the food I brought and asked who brought it. I said it was me and started to explain why when she interrupted me and asked if I took her allergy (gluten allergy) into account. I said sorry no and explained why I brought this. She said I was extremely rude for not thinking of everyone. And that it was better to not bring anything if not everyone could enjoy it. She said I was very selfish and don’t think about others. I gave a half-assed apology and told myself not to bring anything again. \n\nAm I the A-hole for bringing the food, not thinking about dietary restrictions? \n\nIf I would have bought something (for example for my birthday) I would definitely take all dietary restrictions into account, but this was just something I had left over ######","completion":" NTA. Most people with dietary restrictions don’t expect everything to be catered to them. I had a friend in middle school with severe nut allergies who always brought her own cake and food to parties to avoid any accidents ######"}
{"prompt":"This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.\n\nAfter that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left. \n\nAfterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######","completion":" NTA. Most definitely NTA. He crossed a line. \n\nYou didn’t make a scene or even bring his assholery to light in front of the whole family. \n\nI’m sorry you had to deal with that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent\/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Mom is TA for not knocking, and then for getting mad at you for something that she wasn't supposed to hear in the first place. She isnt that big of an AH - I get it, its a big event in someone's life and mom is probably just concerned for your safety and wants more transparency from you. It's reasonable, but you don't owe it to her, especially if your relationship with her isn't like that otherwise. Talking about sex with parents can be overwhelmingly embarrassing, so your hesitance to do so is justified. ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters, I just wanna say that I love my MIL and we get along most of the time, but she’s really been getting under my skin lately. \n\nMy husband is an only child and his mom chose to take on a very traditional role as a mother. She didn’t work when he was little, did all the cooking, cleaning, etc., which is completely fine if that’s what she wanted to do. However, since I am now pregnant I have had to deal with increasing amounts of judgments and micro-aggressions from her. \n\nSome examples:\n1. Whenever she comes to visit she immediately starts cleaning and doing my husband’s laundry, all while questioning why the house isn’t better kept \n2. She’s always talking about how people criticized her for not making my husband do any chores and how he turned out great. I love my husband and he’s perfectly capable of doing chores but it’s pretty clear that the lesson he learned is that it’s not his responsibility to help around the house, and only does chores if I specifically ask him too. \n3. She is constantly judging my decision to continue working after becoming a mother, making comments such as “why would you have a child if you’re just going to go to work all day and send them to daycare?” I know she wants to come stay with us for a while after the baby comes and I’m grateful for the help but I almost don’t want her to because I don’t know if I’ll emotionally be able to handle the parenting criticism I think will come my way. \n\nToday, she made a comment about how women are less successful in team based sports and esports because women are naturally more caddy and emotional. I was already in a bad mood for the aforementioned reasons and responded by telling her that her comments were extremely sexist. She didn’t really say much back and moved on to a new topic but I could tell I hurt her feelings. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Might need to head on to r\/JUSTNOMIL while you're at it. You need to create firm boundaries. Do not allow her to come stay with you if you don't want her, stop letting her do your husband's laundry, and call out her insults, and then exit the conversation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing.  We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3\/4 through the year, the principal in  our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help  for us and for the kid?  No one directly answered me but the discussion continued. \n\nAbout a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her. \n\nI was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Middle School is a war zone, even in the “nicest” of neighborhoods. It’s not wrong to ask for additional help when you feel your resources are exhausted or the other students are suffering as a result of you spreading yourself too thin for one person.\n\nPerhaps the way you phrased your response came across as flippant or unconcerned to administration. 🤷🏼‍♀️ “Above my pay grade” no longer means to people what it was originally intended to express. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my niece (15f, we’ll call her oliva) and I (15f) are really close in age, she’s a month older then I am. My parents had me when they were both 41, and by then my sister was 20 and already had her own kid. Because of our ages, we’ve never really had the typical aunt\/niece relationship. We’re more like cousins, but she calls me auntie as a joke.\n\nSo I just got a inhaler for some breathing problems I have related to allergies. We were chilling in my room watching tv and she asked to see my inhaler. So I give it to her and for no reason at all, she puts it in her mouth and starts fucking rapidly pressing it over and over again. So I freak out, and wrestle it from her and start yelling at her because man I don’t know if you can overdose on that shit.\n\nAnd I also only got so many uses in one can and she just used up about 20. So I’m yelling at her asking wtf she just did that for and she just gets up and storms out. I kinda just sat there for a moment before I walked out to find her telling her mom (my sister) on me. My sister got really pissed at me, because ‘she was just curious’. \n\nShe said that I had to apologize to oliva, but I laughed at her and said no way. The whole time oliva is just kinda standing there look sheepish. I say no, and she just takes oliva and storms out. My parents are on my side but they said that yelling at her was kinda a asshole move because I really don’t have the right. But she just put her mouth on my medical equipment and used it up. \n\nWas yelling at her really a asshole move? AITA? And does anyone have a idea as to why the hell she thought it was ok to just do that?? ######","completion":" NTA. Messing with someone's medication is stupid and dangerous. What if you didn't know she used it 20 times? What if you really needed one of those 20 times? ######"}
{"prompt":"So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.\n\nAnyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.\n\nSo I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.\n\nLearning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?\n\nSo AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######","completion":" NTA. Medical malpractice is not something that should be taken lightly. You’re absolutely right in your choice. I agree with comment above, your complaint is unlikely to affect those who attend the clinic so don’t let that affect you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F22) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for a year and a half now. We quarantined together and are now in the process of moving in together.\n\nThis week our city loosened up social distancing guidelines, so my boyfriend wanted to go play a game of pickup soccer with about five of his friends. They said they were all bringing their girlfriends so my bf asked me to come and I said sure.\n\nNow the thing is that I'm actually pretty good at soccer. My first boyfriend ever was actually in a very good European club's academy, and then I dated an MLS player for three years. Obviously they weren't just straight teaching me how to play, but I helped them practice and train and I picked up a lot from them. I also played high school soccer and then club soccer in college.\n\nWhen we got to the park my boyfriend said we should play boys against girls so we did.\n\nWe actually ended up tying. However my boyfriend played really really badly. At one point he took a penalty that I saved, I blocked several of his shots, intercepted many of his passes, tackled him a bunch of times and took the ball from him, and I even nutmegged him once.\n\nI want to clarify that I really wasn't trying to target my bf, I was just playing and everything happened. I didn't go easy on him but I didn't try to humiliate him either.\n\nIt was a fun game and I thought everything was fine until we got home. My bf went off on me about how humiliating the whole thing was for him, and how I had no right to play like that against him. He said I was clearly not considering his feelings, and he's been giving me the silent treatment since then. I think I was just playing a game. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe your boyfriend should get good at soccer if he doesn’t want to be humiliated. If he’s this insecure about his soccer performance that he’d throw this type of tantrum then maybe you should take another look at him as far as a relationship goes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other. \n\nHe's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.\n\nI have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.\n\nIt's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.\n\nMy mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.\n\nI don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.\n\nBut a couple times, I've said stuff like \"can we all go back to (city) as a vacation\" and my dad will get mad at me like \"Girlfriend has never been to (city)\" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.\n\nOr when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said \"And we were with my dad's ex Jen\" and my dad got upset and corrected me.\n\nHe's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me. \n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe you could ask them to wear name tags? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22 F) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21. \n\nWhen I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age. So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead. This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking. \n\nDuring the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem \"off\". At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID. He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn't plan on going on a second date. \n\nI told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe that guy will think twice before lying to someone again. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n   I’m 16 years old and very open with my parents about sex. My mom often likes to have boyfriends and my dad loves it. I’m great with that. My mom invites a dude over, I go to stay at my boyfriends house. \n   I’m very uncomfortable around adult men for various reasons. Even my mothers collection of guys make uncomfortable comments about me sometimes. It makes me feel sick inside. \n   Recently she brought up having a live in boyfriend someday. I told her I’m 100% not ok with having another adult man in the house. I figured it was a decent request telling her to put it off for two years until I go to college. I don’t want to constantly be uncomfortable in my own house. I’d feel I’d have to dress covered up, lock my own door at night, and basically hide away constantly to protect myself.\n  She says I have no rights to call the shots as a minor. She resents me at the moment, and thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. I can understand her point of view but I can’t help but feel I have the right to comfort. I’m honestly so scared at the idea but I feel really guilty for hindering this. ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe speak with your father about this as well. See if he can talk to your mom for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend of almost 4 years and I live together and during coronavirus I have been getting unemployment because my work isn’t open, but hers just opened back up last week. She works about 20 minutes away from the house and always asks me to take her to work when we both have cars. She tells me it’s to spend time with each other but we live together and I don’t see the point in taking 40 minutes round trip to take her to work and pick her up. Today she was visibly mad about me not wanting to take her to work and I don’t understand why because we are always with each other. ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe offer something else, like making a nice sit down dinner for her and eating together while talking for some quality time. Sounds like the wants some uninterrupted time together so maybe make sure to schedule some time free of distractions. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games. \n\nI understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.\n\nI just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?\n\nAny help would be appreciated, thanks! ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe just give them a heads up that you’re going to be moving it into your room. But NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Seven years ago, my biological sperm donor cheated on my mother with a college aged girl that was like two years older than me. I cut him out of my life, went FULL no contact since he was a real bastard and I found it incredibly creepy that he was now \"dating\" someone that was basically my age. I haven't kept up with his life, I made it really clear to everyone in my family at the time, I want nothing to do with him and if they wanted me to still come to family things on my dad's side, that was my condition.\n\nEveryone respected my boundaries, until recently. \n\nTurns out, Sperm Donor got married to his 25 yr old GF, and had a kid. But surprise, surprise, their massive age gap relationship wasn't all roses and they got divorced pretty quickly later. Not my problem, but now ex-Wife is getting remarried and gave Sperm Donor full custody over their 5 yr old. Sperm Donor was a pretty shitty parent with us, so unsurprisingly, I doubt he's too keen to be a single dad at near 60. \n\nHere's the problem. Gran and Auntie want me to \"develop a relationship\" with the five year old half sibling. It's still my \"blood\" apparently. I want nothing to do with his midlife crisis lovechild, and neither does my brother. And honestly, to me, it feels like Sperm Donor is just trying to get free babysitting\/weasel his way into our lives again. I've lived through seven years without him, and I'm happy to die this way. I'm thirty now, I have no interest in getting to know my five year old sister.\n\nAm I the Asshole for refusing to get in contact with her? ######","completion":" NTA. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think they want you to \"develop\" into a babysitting option. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment. \n\nSteve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met. \n\nI gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor\/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.\n\nThis week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children. \n\nA lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Many places allow a cat, with a pet deposit, and no dogs. Often dogs aren’t allowed as they can be more destructive and can be noisy. If they’re also allowed an indoor cat, following the same rules as the other tenant, but choose not to then that’s on them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.\n\nHowever, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.\n\nShe hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.\n\nWIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ######","completion":" NTA. Make sure you get the money back before she spends it all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job. \n\nMy grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object. \n\nThis really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance. \n\nI feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA. Make sure no one else has access to your accounts and keep saving. No one is ever entitled to something you earned. Don't feel bad or guilty, you're doing something that will help your future and you should be really proud of that. ######"}
{"prompt":"A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. Lying to the investigators, now that would make you an asshole for sure. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21f) work at a store with a lot of vendors who bring in their own product. A lot of these vendors are white men in their 60s+, who borderline sexually harass me and the other female staff, are racist, homophobic, rude to service staff, pretty much every negative white conservative baby boomer thing you can think of. They will sit in the store and talk loudly about pro gun rights the day after mass shootings, and pin blame on other races. Ex) “its usually the muslims who do the shooting” \n\nThey aren’t even supposed to stay in the store. We sell their product for them, all they do is bring it in. \n\nI’m pretty tired of the rude and condescending behaviour towards me, especially since I have been a supervisor for a year now and worked there for a few years. When they come to pick up their cheques, a lot of them will bark at me and interrupt me helping customers to demand their money, or not say anything but just rub their fingers together and stare at me. I’ve also gotten comments like “oh I looove being handed money from a woman” when I give it to them.\n\nNow when vendors approach me impolitely, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying “what’s the magic word?” and smiling while I hold their cheque. I make eye contact and patiently wait for them to say “please” before I give it to them. It puts them on the spot for being rude, but its also extra and unnecessary. Although there’s nothing else I can do about their inappropriate behaviour. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. lol ######"}
{"prompt":"It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.  \n\n\nMy girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.  \nI felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.  \nTherefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).  \n\n\nNow today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.   \nBy going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.  \n\n\nSo, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.  \n\n\nAm I the asshole for that? ######","completion":" NTA. lol sometimes I’m amazed by some of the situations posted on here. Only way she can have that leverage is if you both split the monthly payment...but then by then why cant she just pay for a new account? Also, not to mention when she uses your account it kind of messes up the algorithm spotify uses to find music you like. This is a $10 dollar\/month problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"On Sunday my sister and I both FaceTimed our mom for Mother’s Day. We talked for about an hour, and in the middle of it I asked my fiancé to grab me a drink when he went into the kitchen. I said something like “peanut, can you get me a drink”. Now I realize that calling my fiancé peanut is a little silly and weird but I like it and he likes it so I don’t see a problem. It comes from when we were first dating and he tried to get some peanuts off the top shelf and ripped the bag and spilled them all over his head. I called him peanut for a few days as a joke and it just sort of stuck.\n\nAnyway my sister got all upset and started saying how it was rude to call him that because she’s allergic to peanuts. It pretty much ruined the rest of the call because I wouldn’t apologize for calling my fiancé a nickname and she was upset the whole time. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Lmao.\n\nI'm allergic to seafood, but I don't get all crabby when it's mentioned. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened. \n\nA lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”\n\nWe get her order, she pays then leaves. \n\nAfter she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”. \n\nAnd I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Lmao “we could’ve figured something out.” Yeah, maybe speaking Spanish ######"}
{"prompt":"My birthday was last week, and yesterday a package arrived at my door, and it was lingerie. It had a note in it that said happy birthday ~friend. I have never mentioned wanting lingerie to him. I haven’t talked about underwear or sex at all with him. I just play video games and D&amp;D with him. I thought it was weird as hell and kind of creepy to order me lingerie. If my husband got me lingerie, okay a little self serving but I wouldn’t mind that much. A friend? Weird.\n\nAnyway I messaged him that it was weird and I would appreciate if he didn’t do anything like that in the future, and he got all defensive and started saying stuff about how he thought I would like it and that he put a lot of effort into it. I told him I would prefer nothing over this kind of gift, so in the future just get me something generic if he wants to get me a present. He blew up at me and blocked me.\n\nI’ve known the guy 10 years, he’s never made a pass at me, always been a pretty normal guy, was I too harsh here? Because otherwise I don’t know what got into him. ######","completion":" NTA. Lingerie is sexual. It was SUPER inappropriate of him and you’re right for telling him off ######"}
{"prompt":"I have two daughters 9F and 7F.\n\nMy youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football.\n\nMy eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills.\n\nIt’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality.\n\nMy eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention.\n\nMy daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother.\n\nThis isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this!\n\nWell ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹”\n\nI responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall.\n\nMy ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.\n\nMy mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Like you said, kids all learn at their own pace. My 5 year old struggles with things my 4 year old does with ease, and vice versa. \n\nYour ex's girlfriend shouldn't have belittled her like that, or taken to social media to voice her opinion *on a child*. Asshole. That's a no brainer. \n\nYour ex shouldn't have let it happen, should have told his girlfriend off for speaking to his daughter like that, should have dragged her over the coals for posting on social media about it, and also shouldn't have essentially punished his kids by not seeing them. Asshole. He could have prevented a lot of this. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for reasons.\n\nMy husband told me recently he wants to send money to his mother every month because she's not in good shape financially.\n\nThing is, this is entirely my MIL's fault, and entirely avoidable. She has unhealthy spending habits (she blew most of her savings on clothes and makeup because she didn't have as much success dating as she thought she should) and no impulse control. Her house is literally *full* of unopened kitchen appliances, training equipment that hasn't been used once, and piles of useless infomercial shit.\n\nWe lived with her for a time when our house was being renovated (which is the reason for my intense dislike but this is not a saga for this sub) and in that time she fell for two textbook scams and an MLM (that I know of). Each time we tried to warn her and each time she told us she knows better than us, she's older and we need to respect her.\n\nIn that time I found out that my husband started paying some of her CC bills without telling me. I was furious, chewed him out for hiding it from me and we moved out (yes, we paid our share of rent\/bills).\n\nSo MIL is in financial trouble again and he wants to help out. I told him I will support him in getting her a carer of some sort or helping her set up a payment plan, but if he wants to give her money, it will come out of his fun\/clothing\/etc. budget but I will not agree to using our joint household funds. Now he's angry with me, says I don't care about his mother and want to punish him for being a good son.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta. Like you said she put herself in this position because she wanted to not because she’s disabled or sick. And I don’t blame you. I get he wants to be the “good son” but she’s not your financial responsibility. If he really wants to pay for all her things then let him. Just warn him that it better not affect what he contributes in your house and you don’t care if he has to get a second job just to afford your her lifestyle. Also make it clear that your not willing to have her live with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.\n\nShe really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie. \nShe thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind. \nEspecially in conversations with others where she would talk \"for\" me. \n\nToday I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime. \n\nShe looked at my dad and said: \"Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?\" \nI was confused that she would lie about me.\nMe: \"That's not true.\"\nShe ignores me. \nI say it again, loudly. \nShe still ignores me. \nMe (yelling because I'm frustrated): \"Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!\"\nThen she stormed out whilst saying: \"You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!\" \n\nI know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Liars. I hate liars. The truth is the real source here. Liars will lead to be AH’s if they keep going. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: I am 16, mom is 49. \n\nMy mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping. \n\nMy mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time. \n\nHowever, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Let me tell you something, your friends don't know their assholes from their elbows. That is a very fantastic gift idea and very thoughtful. It shows you care, you listen and you understand. I would 100% give that gift to her and be proud doing it. Your friends need to find a new \"cause\" to jump on because this one isn't cutting it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7.  Am I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. Let her be upset. Its a leased car. If she totals it again you are fucked badly. ######"}
{"prompt":"To get right down to it, my family is descended from Robert E. Lee. We don’t have the last name anymore, but if you have kids, it’s just a given in my family that one of them has to have Lee incorporated in there somewhere. Every year in June we have the “Lee family reunion” that I personally haven’t attended for years. I’m a girl, but I’m the firstborn of my siblings so my first name has Lee in it. I now have two kids of my own, a two year old and a five month old. Both of them are boys, neither of them have Lee anywhere close to their name. I love my family, but to be honest several of them are insanely racist and I just made the decision that I didn’t want to carry on the name or have my kids be any part of their bullshit. Who cares about some dead guy who lost his fight anyways. I’m convinced no one in my family actually cares about the “heritage” or ol’ Rob himself at all, he just happens to be famous so my family is a slut for the name. Obviously it’s been a bit of a hot topic recently. We have a “Lee family reunion” Facebook page, and the elders have been a bit snippy about the name not being carried on lately. Apparently a lot of people think it’s a really big deal and that all the attention shouldn’t be focused on the actions, but the “family” and the “heritage”. AITA for not continuing the tradition? ######","completion":" NTA. Lee was an enemy general. The rebellion lasted less time than How I Met Your Mother was on the air. This is not heritage, any more than the third reich is German heritage. \n\nNot all history is heritage, heritage is what we choose to continue. Looks pretty obvious what morals they want to continue. ######"}
{"prompt":" Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.\n\nI woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.\n\nI went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.\n\nAm I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######","completion":" NTA. Last year in the winter my father, mother and I were in a different state for vacation, and during that time my grandmother fell and cracked her head open twice (the first time she actually declined medical treatment so that's why twice).\n\nShe was going to my house to feed the cats, and had lost the key in the midst of the accident. She actually had to call my great uncle, get him to get a locksmith to rip off the door lock, and get inside so the cats wouldn't starve.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNobody told us for two days, until my dad called my great uncle to ask him to check on her because she wasn't answering. Apparently, they decided it was best not to say *anything*, because they wanted us to \"enjoy our vacation\". \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI think it just made everything worse, because we spent like two days panicking and we almost called the police for a wellfare check. People need to communicate about stuff like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says \"jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007\" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######","completion":" NTA. Kinda feels like your father is doing this as a form of penance for not being there, but if so, he really needs to be open to the fact that you might be uncomfortable with such a thing. Your relationship is still relatively new, and quite complicated; it's not a straight line to a normal parent-child situation and can't really be expected to be just yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc. \n\nNow here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting\/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine. \n\nToday, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes. \n\nSo, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######","completion":" NTA. Kind of in the same situation but with a dialed back frequency. Once you hear someone is sick, they haven’t gotten better and it’s over the course of years, of course it’s sad and tough to hear, but you start to not get phased by it, and you don’t react. Your mom is treating sympathy like it’s a form of currency. All I can say is I’m there if they need anything. I’m not rich, I can’t offer anything of actual value monetarily. I would speak only with your sister and let he know you’re there for her and to just ignore mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Kids don't give any kind of a shit how we dress, its us that tell them to care. \nYou didn't have an argument at the party and you didn't cause a scene there either, you just went home and stayed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father\/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the \"puberty\" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a \"bro kit\" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######","completion":" NTA. Kid needs to learn hygiene or he’s gonna be the smelly kid at school. Why does his mom not want him to be clean? ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend had these really, really dirty (and old ish?) Nikes that she told me she was gonna get rid of, because “cleaning them is impossible and too much work”. \n\nThey were not too bad off, just dirty and even in my size! So me being a broke university student asked if I could have them, and she said yes, do what you want with them. I normally save all of my money, so no new shoes in a while, boy was I happy!\n\nShe gave me the shoes some days before the lockdown, so we haven’t seen eachother in about two months before this past saturday. \n\nI had cleaned the shoes really intense, and actually used many hours and money on it. We had a little get together with some of our friends (yes, my country is NOT in lockdown anymore, it is very controlled). \n\nAt this get together she saw the shoes, and said “oh Thank you *my name*, you fixed up my shoes!”. At this point i thought she was joking, and said something like “yeah, they just needed a little love to shine perfectly white and bright again”. \n\nShe then started asking why I had them on, and if I could take HER shoes off - at this point i was like ????, and told her she gave them to me, so i would not take them off. \n\nMost friends are on my side and are saying that because she would have dumped them in the trash and GAVE them to me, they are mine. I sure as hell think they belong to me too, because 1) she gave them to me, and 2) I spend a lot of money and time to fix them and 3) SHE GAVE THEM TO ME. \n\nShe is accusing me of stealing them and that i was only “borrowing them”. She left quikly, and some of the others said i was kinda an asshole for not giving them back. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Keep the shoes, ditch the friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go \"get groceries\" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.\n\nEvery time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always \"needs\" help.\n\nShe doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with \"Yeah, ok then\" and rolled her eyes.\n\nTonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip. \n\nShe is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Keep ignoring her. Nobody needs help carrying in three bags, nor does someone need to go shopping every night. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married. \n\nHere's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.\n\nMy brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives.  I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ######","completion":" NTA. Just tell her no, and if she pushes, explain why if you feel comfortable and haven't told her what a horrible person your brother has been to you your entire life. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my parents and brother. \n\nMy dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there. \n\nThis honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll. \n\nAITA for asking my dad to quit? ######","completion":" NTA. Just pretend you don't get it. Make him explain every single \"joke.\" Deadpan face and sincerely ask him to explain it. It'll get old for him real quick (I hope!). ######"}
{"prompt":"OK so I (26F) in a bit of a predicament. I love my dad very much, and we have a great relationship. We share a lot of interests and we have a special bond. I have no doubt that my dad has my best interests at heart, but he can be a little distracted at times. \n\nMy step-mom and I also have a good relationship, but she can be a very firm and headstrong woman, where my dad is a little softer. They have two sons together, (M15 and M17), who I also have a great relationship with but as any mother would, she sometimes favors them over me. This has bothered me in the past, but as I'm not her real daughter I've made my peace with it. \n\nThe other day I was visiting them and having dinner and we somehow got into the subject of wills and testaments, and it was kinda revealed that if my stepmom dies, my dad inherits everything and will likely pass things to my brother. It got me wondering, if my dad dies, will she inherit everything to do with as she pleases? Because in that case, I suspect that everything will go to my brothers. \n\nMy dad means everything to me, and the thought of him passing is a thought I don't think if I can avoid it, but what kills me even more would be if he died and I would have nothing of his. I don't really care about money, I care about the things we've bonded over together. For example he has a small library that we've spent countless hours in, which my stepmom and brother has had no interest in. \n\nSo the question is; WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with him? I don't want to come off greedy, I really don't, but I'm afraid that I will inherit nothing from my dad. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nTLDR: If my dad dies, I will likely inherit nothing, WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with my dad? ######","completion":" NTA. Just make sure you bring it up the right way. I would tell him that the conversation from earlier has you wondering about his own will and you were curious about who he was leaving things to. I would express your interest in the library. Say that while what he does is entirely up to him that there are sentimental items that you would be interested in. Things that you would not want to sell off, but rather keep in the family. Things that have meaning beyond monetary value. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: I was a late bloomer and had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 27. I was overweight and unconfident in myself, until I got therapy and started working out. About a year ago I reached my goals, and I am going to brag, I look fucking good. \n\nI got way more attention from women after that, and since I was late to the game I decided that I wanted to experience the hookup life. So I would go to bars and use dating apps to hookup.\n\nOne of my friends, Sam, who I have known since I was in my early 20s absolutely despises that I do this. Sam calls me immature for hooking up with girls at my age. Usually I keep my mouth shut, and she stops talking about it.\n\nA couple of days ago Sam heard that I am planning to hookup with a few girls after everything opens back up, and she flipped out on me sending me this long text calling me immature, creepy, etc. This time I didn't hold my tongue, and I told Sam that it's none of her business what I am doing. I told her that she is a hypocrite, since she had her hookup phase in college as well. I explained that just because I didn't have to opportunity to experience that during college like everyone else doesn't mean I am going to miss out because she is uncomfortable. My last line was \"I am going to keep doing what I am doing, so drop it because I don't need this toxicity in my life.\"\n\nShe hasn't texted back, but word has gotten around in my friend group about our confrontation. They agree its none of her business, but most of them say I was too hard on her and she is just \"looking out for me.\" So reddit did I go too far? Was I the AH? ######","completion":" Nta. Just make sure you are getting std screenings to be safe and use protection. You don't want a one night hookup to be a 18 year to lifelong commitment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going. This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back. \n\nI had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch. I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me.\n\nWhen I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway. I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem. My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened.\n\nI told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone, and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes. \n\nSo, am I the asshole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me? ######","completion":" NTA. Just like you said, if she expected you to be in charge of her kid she probably should have asked you to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some backstory:\n     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store. \n    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes. \n    He responded with \"well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you.\"\n   I said \"well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them\" \n    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.\n   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. Just imagine how it is going to be when they have a baby. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so this is pretty funny I know \nI got fired today from a studio I was working in as a tattoo artist. I did not get a proper reason to why and my boss fired me over text. I'm pretty upset over it and I lashed out on him because he sees me almost everyday yet did not have the guts to do it face to face. He also did not complain about anything I've done (nor my tattoos) and just couldn't seem to give me an actual valid reason so I'm still confused. \n\nI can't sue him because we don't have a contract and I'm a freelancer (most tattoo artist in my country are freelancers) \n\nI also had to find another job because he didn't forward any clients to me (I still don't have enough of my own clients to provide for me.) Anyway I didn't really lose any money over this.\n\n\nOkay to the point-\nI had a really great pair of scissors and I brought it to the studio for the staff and for me to use because the studio had only very shitty scissors and no one bothered to buy any new ones. (Also I would bring baked goods and whatnot all the time, made sketches for my boss to tattoo... I did A LOT in that studio)\n\nSo my scissors are the most popular ones in the studio right now and i want them back. \n\nI want to take them back without telling anyone.\nI know it's pretty passive aggressive of me but I feel like this was really unfair and screw the owner?? \n\nSo WIBTA if I take them back without anyone knowing? They are used by everyone so they're not really only mine when they're there. ######","completion":" NTA. Just go back and say tell whoever is there you are getting your stuff since you’ve been terminated. Then just get your scissors and anything else that’s yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for a while now I’ve owned two horses, mine and my daughters (13F) and they’re about 4 now.\n\n2 years ago my sister got her daughter a horse, my niece is 12 now.\n\nThey usually only visit Fri,Sat &amp; Sun for about 2hours so I usually let them into the field of a morning, groom them and put them away of a night which I charge £30 every two weeks.\n\n(The field isn’t attached to our house, it’s on the other side of the road.)\n\nWe’re planning on moving, its a 5hr 12min drive meaning my sister couldn’t  drive here as frequently and she can’t afford to rent the field her daughters horse is in currently.\n\nI told her I’d keep her horse up here for her daughter for £160 a month which includes caring for the horse.\n\nShe’s offered to sell me the horse.\n\nI’m considering it, I did say I’d be willing to pick her daughter up for the weekends but that isn’t possible as the weekends are my nieces fathers custody agreement. \n\nI’ve been getting called\/texted by family members saying what an AH I am for exploiting family\/stealing my nieces horse when I can afford to do it for free especially while she’s going through a hard time (her parents divorced)\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. Just because they have personal stuff going on doesn't mean their pets are your responsibility. Horses are expensive to keep and maintain. If she's willing to sell you the horse then ok but if the family is so concerned about their struggle them why don't they pitch in and pray for the costs? ######"}
{"prompt":"So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.\n\nNow a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like \"I've lost all ties to this family\" or \"My family is falling apart\". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with \"Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?\" \n\nI feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?\n\nSo AITA?\n\nTL\/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######","completion":" NTA. Just because they are technically family does not mean you have to be close or have a relationship with them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language. \n\n\nThrowaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad. \n\n\nI (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.\n\n\nBasically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this\n\n\nGay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you. \n\nMe: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend. \n\nGG: That's all you're going to say? \n\nMe: Yeah? What am I supposed to say? \n\nGG: Don't you like me back? \n\nMe: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship. \n\nGG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))\n\nMe: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you\n\nGG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))\n\n\nOf course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.\n\n\nso reddit\n\nAITA for not liking a gay girl? ######","completion":" NTA. Just because someone shares the same sexuality as you doesn't mean you have to feel a mutual attraction to them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything.\nUsually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was. \n\nAs I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all.\n\nI went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?”\n\nHe started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house. \n\nI countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.” \n\nThe man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA?\n\nTo be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ######","completion":" NTA. Just because someone decides to be irresponsible with the animals that he keeps doesn't mean the rest of us need to pick up the slack. If he doesn't want his dog to run away, he needs to invest in a leash and\/or a fence, and not to rely on the passersby to watch their animal for them. ######"}
{"prompt":"These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)\n\nMy mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9\/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9\/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######","completion":" NTA. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean she needs alone time with your son.\nNot only should we still be distancing from those we dont live with....she is trying to indoctrinate him.\nNo 8yo needs hear 9\/11 conspiracy theories. ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without  my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants.  Then she starts  yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Just because she helps you financially doesn’t mean you don’t deserve privacy. Honestly parents that think just cause they pay they can snoop in your stuff are the worst. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [20 M] live with my mum and brother [8]. I've wanted a switch since it came out but life and other hobbies have gotten in the way. Over the quarentine my expenses have gone down since I no longer have to buy food at uni, and I should have enough pocket money to pay off the rest of this year's fees and to get a Switch. \n\nHowever, my brother's been very uncooperative with studying as he wants to play videogames all day instead. Because of this my mum has told me to not get a Switch, as she wants to cut my brother's gaming time and feels that even if I were the one to get the switch with my own money, he'd still see it as a reward.\n\nI've already decided to not got the Switch to keep the peace, but am I the only one who feels it's unfair that my brother's misbehaving is directly affecting what I can do with my own money?\n\nINFO EDIT: I could absolutely keep it in my room and restrict his access to it. If I was really commited I could probably have it without him ever knowing (although I probably wouldn't go that far) ######","completion":" NTA. Just because it is in the house does not mean you or your mother have to let him play it, especially if he isn't fulfilling his responsibilities with school work. \n\nShe's asking you to sacrifice something you want to make it easier on herself to parent. It's nice that you're willing to do that, but letting an 8 year old control how the house works is never going to end well. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI am a 28-year-old female, married (almost 4 years) and we have 2 1\/2 year old at home. My husband and I have been kicking the idea of getting pregnant again so that our daughter has a sibling and friend to grow up with. My older sister (29) just got married last November and after their cruise in February wanted to “start trying.” Heard no news from them in March so we started trying ourselves because I really wanted another baby and really wasn’t sure if they were serious or not. Fast forward to April we found out we are pregnant. We just told my parents last weekend (middle of May) and now my sister is upset and calling me selfish for not waiting until after they got pregnant first before trying ourselves. She says that I’m going to steal the spotlight and when they get pregnant no one will care. (Side note back in 2018 I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks so that’s why this time I waited before telling anyone) I'm excited that I am pregnant, but I definitely don’t need all the excitement for round two, when she does get pregnant I am going to be so happy for her, I just wish she would be happy for me as well. AITA for not waiting till my sister gets pregnant with her first before trying for our second? ######","completion":" NTA. Joy for babies isn’t like pie, it doesn’t run out. Your sister is being silly.\n\nEdited to add: the entire pie discussion that has unfurled totally made my day. What entertainment! OP should serve pie at her baby shower. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is so stupid I can't even believe I am typing it out on my mobile but here it is folks cabin fever maybe getting to me so I need some nonbias perspective on this. \n\nSo my BF and I are gamers, currently, both of us are WFH. Now, normally gaming time is limited for both of us because of long hours at work and weekends are reserved for downtime. We each have our own systems I have a ps4 pro he has an Xbox one. I personally don't like the Xbox platform (I have my reasons) while he is a lot more versatile. So I will stick to gaming on my ps4 while he bounces in between the two. \n\nUsually, he will every once in a great while play on the ps4. But lately, he's been playing only been playing it for the last two weeks it's to the point where I don't even get a chance to play. Plus the ps4 is in our bedroom he will play into the wee hours of the morning while I'm trying to sleep (I never do this to him). He knows I don't like the Xbox, I also am not into the type of he has for it I like RPGs and buy these, while he buys more strategic games or MMO first-person shooter games which admittedly I hate lol. Idk why but I get very disoriented while playing them. Not only this but he's gone in and beat some of the games I was playing so now I have to start all over.\n\nWhen I've hinted I would like to play on the ps4 he will say oh just a bit longer, or why don't you go play a game on the Xbox. Basically just brushing me off and it's starting to really aggravate the piss out of me. WIBTA if I told him he needs to stop playing on my ps4 constantly and finishing my games? And also that he's being rude playing at night in the bedroom when I am trying to sleep? ######","completion":" NTA. Jesus. He's not even making his own save files!? Not cool. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation.  Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared. \n\nI didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ######","completion":" NTA. Jesus, your family members are husband-stealing vultures. You are right to get as far away as possible. Enjoy your happy, healthy relationship without toxic people from your shitty past coming in and ruining it. ######"}
{"prompt":"my partner when they were younger had issues with some older men saying they hoped they shaved their genitals. My partner mentioned something today about how bare female genitals make them uncomfy and said anyone who wants to be with someone who shaves is a creep. I asked what purpose pubic hair served, cause I honestly didnt know, guess its hygenic or somethin' cool. My partner then began to say people shouldnt shave, and it was weird if they did. I argued that if someone wants to do something to themselves like shave they can, its the individuals choice.\n\nThis was a bad thing to say. I was being accused of supporting something very gross and accused of being one. I denied and tried to clarify that i simply supported ones choice over their own hair situation and nothing beyond that. This went back and forth for a good while. And my partner asked if i would prefer if they shaved, to which i responded \"I dont care, its your choice.\"\n\nAgain the wrong move. I am now disgusting and dont love my partner. They asked why i didnt stand with them on this, i told them it was because theyre advovating for social norms to be that we tell people to NOT shave instead of letting them make their own choice. As of this moment in time thats where we stand.\n\nAITA for not siding with my partner, even though I disagree with what theyre saying? ######","completion":" NTA. Jesus, you are allowed your own opinion! \nSure, pubic hair does serve a biological purpose and the pressure for women to be clean shaven is ridiculous and unrealistic but many women prefer to do it for their own reasons and you are only advocating for personal choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been diagnosed with S.I.H. my brain is nearly constantly inflamed and my veins are full up of blood or something else . either way , my brainstem is very inflamed and this causes me to hear things constantly, along with pain, feeling sick, hearing loss, fluid building up in my head , seizures, brain fog etc . \n\nmy parents have been treating me worse the sicker i get . \n\nwhen i tell them what my illness is , they ignore it , then a few days later repeatedly ask why i am the way i am, like they just dont get it.\n\nwhen i tell them im having a headache they say 'oh it's that computer you're on' - matter of factly, COMPLETELY ignoring my diagnosis when stabbing headaches are one of the core symptoms . \n\nwhen i explain my muscle seizures , they have mocked me by copying me when im having an episode and call me 'crazy' even though i cant help it . \n\nthey also keep yelling at me for talking loud which i cant help because my hearing is affected also . \n\ni also get insulted for being a 'lazy bastard' because i am bed bound 20 hours a day because im sleep deprived because the hearing things keep me up for hours on end , only after about five hours of lying down , do they fade enough to not make me really anxious and stressed. \n\nive also had them threaten to hit me because i forgot what bin to put something in . i tried to explain the memory loss and how a doctor says i have a type of dementia (which is a symptom of S.I.H when it is chronic) and i forget things. they gaslight me by saying 'well i forget things too, so how can i still feed myself?' and whatnot.\n\nWIBTA for actually raising my voice and getting assertive with my parents? ######","completion":" NTA. Jesus Christ, this is a messed-up family situation. I'd say you wouldn't be going far enough by just being assertive, do you think it would be physically possible for you to find a place of your own? Otherwise, I know people like this and even if you do get them off your back by standing up for yourself it'll probably only be temporary. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move\n\nMe [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it. \n\nThis for context: \"Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die.\"\n\nI told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.\n\nHe started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.\n\nLater when he walked by me he said \"Hi, Slut\" really angrily.\nNow I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.\n\nI'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######","completion":" NTA. Jesus Christ someone is insecure and projecting hard. Does he often blow up at you and treat you poorly over nothing just to make it feel like your fault?\n\nEdit to add: someone who calls you a slut does not love you by the way ######"}
{"prompt":"I was in a discussion with a few friends and peers, many of whom work in jobs adjacent to the comic book industry, and someone brought up how rare it was for comics, franchises and characters made by people of color to find any kind of financial success, and they then added the qualifier that even fewer of them are made for the same \"communities\" as their creators. Someone specifically started asking for recommendations of works made by people of color in order to be able to support them.\n\nI then pointed out how *Astroboy* debuted in 1952, made by, for and about the Japanese, and plenty of manga and anime are exported that do not at all attempt to hide the fact that they take place in Japan with a mostly Japanese cast and staff; if anything, there was even a period of time where western-made works attempted to present themselves as being Japanese because of a perceived cachet attached to the nation.\n\nSome objected because they said that the characters in many anime and manga are drawn to \"look white\" with large eyes and hair and eye colors that ethnic Japanese individuals can't achieve, I countered by saying that many Japanese works include distinct aspects of Japanese culture to the point where no one could be confused about the characters being anything but Japanese. Someone else said that the Japanese have not faced the widespread discrimination other people of color have and did not need our \"help\"; I countered by saying that the Japanese hold the rare distinction of being one of the few ethnic groups in America to have ever been forcibly imprisoned and that they were effectively colonized following WWII.\n\nThis started a bit of a hullabaloo in the group chat and I was privately asked to drop the subject, and I relented, but the chat kept on going on for hours after I stopped paying attention.\n\nIf it's at all relevant, I am actually a Hispanic man and a \"visible\" person of color (as opposed to, say, being highly \"white passing\"). ######","completion":" NTA. Japanese people still face discrimination outside of Japan. The other person has to define what they mean by people of color if Japan doesn't count and defend why.\n\nWhiteness is a very specific construct that other groups can become, like what happened with the Irish. Jewish people can pass as white and still be persecuted as nonwhite.\n\nAlso look up the ainu people of Japan. \nSure the Japanese aren't persecuted in Japan but Mexican people aren't persecuted for being Mexican in Mexico either.\n\nEdit: They might specifically mean Americans (or whatever country your in) of color, in which case it would make more sense. Of course homogeneous societies will still have media that's popular in their society made by their people. But even then Japan is still really unique in having popular media widely disseminated outside their borders. Not a lot of famous Iranian television over here. ######"}
{"prompt":"Every single night, my neighbors would blast loud rap music at all hours of the night. I got tired of it and approached them on their porch. They mocked me and told me to get over it and that it was a free country. So, what I did, originally, was play my own rock music. They knocked on my door and told me the exact same thing I told them. I asked them how it felt for the shoe to be on the other foot and slammed the door. I then stopped the music. The next night, they did the same thing. I knocked on the door and told them if they continued that I would call the cops. They all laughed at me and told me to do it and called me a pussy. I went back to my house, they continued, and I sure as shit called the cops. They arrived and I believe they told them if they continued they would be arrested for disturbance of the peace, because they stopped. For 2 days. They continued, I called the cops back, and they were arrested. I found out later that apparently they had a large criminal record and were arrested for many other things other than disturbance of the peace. I accidentally ratted out criminals. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Ive called to cops on people playing music i actually liked, loud as fuck at 1230am while my newborn was trying to sleep.\nI actually had to play my black hand and told them we can get into some gangsta shit if need be, but i decided to just get them jammed up for being hoes. \n\nI totally understand. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was a kid I was an avid gamer. My favorite toy as a child was my NES.When I moved out of my parents house, I left many of my old systems with the instructions that I wanted to save them for the future when they built value. My mom never believed me and years ago gave my original NES to her grandson and my nephew. I was livid but wasn’t going to get mad at my nephew. Come to find out (my nephew actually told me) that it is a SUPER rare edition worth thousands of dollars to the right buyer. Now, of course, I want my system back, but I feel a little bad about it. AITA?\n\nJust to be clear, no one has CLEARLY told me “no” as of yet, but we shall see how it goes. ######","completion":" NTA. Its unfortunate your mom did that, but I think a solution could be to offer to get a new console for your relatives with some of the money. Definitely talk to them about what they would want- Heck, you could even get them one of the new NES Classic Editions! ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again. \n\nOnward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y\/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.\n\nMy sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands,  most weren't coming anyway.  When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details) \n\n I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Its not like you've singled her out saying out of all your siblings you don't want her in particular to join in on the cruise. You've drawn a line in the sand saying its just going to be you, your hubby and your folks. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently I (25M) made a post on my facebook about how my student loan debt was nearly whipped. Paid off my first one last year, and as of right now, it looks like I can get this last one paid off by the time I get out of the army at the end of this year. \n\nSo naturally I wanted to share the good news with everyone.\n\nWhat I wasn't expecting was a bunch of old friends complaining and accusing me of being an asshole because they weren't even close to paying off their debt.\n\nLook, I'ma pretty competitive guy, but if I post something sharing some good news thats happening to me, I'm not competing by saying 'Ha suck it nerds, I'm better at managing money than you.' I was simply sharing good news and what to me is a huge milestone in life. ######","completion":" NTA. Its no different than posting that you graduated, or own a home, etc. They're just jealous and insecure of themselves and are taking it out on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter was showering. She is 18. I was home (I'm the dad). I heard a scream so I knocked on the door. She let me come in. She was crying. She was in the shower facing away from me and explained what happened. She was shaving her pubic hair, slipped, and cut herself bad. She was worried that she needed stiches and she said that it was really bad.\n\n\nShe said she cut her labia and the skin right next to her vulva. She asked me if I could look to see if it was bad enough that she needs to go to a hospital and get stiches. I said yes so she faced me. There was a lot of blood and it looked bad and very painful but I told her she doesn't need stiches. I looked up the best thing to do. I got the supplies, and gave her them and told her instructions. I then talked to her through the door while she addressed her injury. \n\nLater when my gf got home I explained what happened. She didn't even seem worried about my daughter, she was just weirded out that I saw my daughter naked and looked at her vulva\/labia area where the injury was. Saying its so weird and inappropriate. And that this shows her that I need to have stronger boundaries with my daughter. I only saw my daughter naked for like 2 minutes total, and only looked at the injury for like 5-6 seconds. All I was focused on was helping my hurt daughter. ######","completion":" NTA. Its funny because no matter how injured I am I'm not showing my parents my dick. So this amount of comfort and trust is wild. Good parenting honestly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.\n\nNeighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.\n\nI informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.\n\nI asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.\n\nAITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your property! They should not allow their cat roam, much less if it’s illegal in your area like you mentioned. I would advise you to audio and video record your next interaction with the neighbors of you explaining that. It could help you in a civil suit. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her.\n\nMe: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable.\nMum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too\nMe: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone\nMum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that! \n\nso whaddya think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your personal time and not to mention it’s just creepy and disrespectful to come in while someone is in the bathroom. However if you’re taking super long hour plus showers she might just be doing it because she’s tired of waiting for you to finish. Have a conversation with her though because even if she is doing it because you shower so long it’s still super weird and not okay to intrude on someone like that: family or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"Short and quick post.\n\nI am 15M and have been saving my money (£500) for about a few months. This money is in cash in my secret safe in my room. My parents are key workers meaning they still have a steady income. Last week my mum offered to clean my room which was somewhat sketchy but I agreed. At the time I wasn't thinking about the money until I wanted to buy something from my local shop. Surprise surprise when I checked, the money was gone. I was quite furious and confronted with my mum. I asked her where it is and she said that she would put it in my savings (which I can't even touch till I'm 18). I haven't spoken to my mum since then and I'm not intending too. \n\nAITA for being mad tho? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your money. Out of curiosity though, how do you get this money? ######"}
{"prompt":"Yea I get it “you’re lucky your parents still love each other” well they both abused me so it doesn’t really feel like one happy family here. I’m 23 and had to return home from college. I never heard my parents until I was maybe 17? Whatever, knocked on the door because I was trying to get ready for work and at 17 it startled me. \n\nNow 22, I have heard them multiple times. Usually if they hear me get up it stops, but it’s more about how they handle it. They always do it when I’m getting up for work despite me telling them the night before hey I have to go in early, and the house is dead silent and the walls are thin. When my boyfriend and I do it we put the TV on, because that’s what you do when the house is silent at night and everyone can hear. \n\nI would of never ever brought it up because it is so awkward but, every time I try to sleep at my boyfriends my mom tells me I’m a disgrace and an embarrassment to the family. She says my boyfriends mother must look down on me. So I finally had enough, and said that the reason I like to get out at night and stay at my boyfriend’s or friends is because they make me uncomfortable. I said I give them plenty of opportunities to do it when I’m not home, and my younger brother also leaves the house a lot. Listen I get it, it’s their house, but I’m sorry I would never want my kids hearing us have sex. I’m just saying don’t bitch at me for going out when I’m 23 if you’re going to disrespect me. Idc how old you are, it’s gross and no one wants to hear there 60 year old parents. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your house too, and if you leave for work and have constantly told them you can hear they could choose to be quiet. I know a lot of parents who don’t want their kids hearing. Your mom sounds fucked up though, so bringing it up may have not be the best move because she probably isn’t receptive to criticism ######"}
{"prompt":"for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable. \n\ni lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job. \n\nwith it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your house and you were kind enough to let him live there rent free. If you spend most of your time not around him anyways it shouldn’t matter to him at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general.\n\nOn the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks!\n\nWhen I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful.\n\nI got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your home and he didn’t respect that. \n\nI would be so annoyed if someone came to my home and did that....also who says it’s ok for the dogs to be scared because something is beautiful. Dogs don’t care if it’s beautiful they’re still scared ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line. \n\nDue to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall. \n\nA couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all.  After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA. it’s your grandmas decision and there’s nothing wrong with being happy your grandma thought of you and wants you in your will. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a gluten intolerance, which I was diagnosed with last year. I get quite sick if I eat a lot of gluten. As a result of this, I tend to buy gluten free snacks out of my own pocket, as I'm the only one in the house who has this. I tend to buy gluten free bread\/pittas, crackers, cakes and pasta, enough to last me a couple of weeks usually.\n\nThe problem is, if I store it in the kitchen, even if it's on my own shelf, it gets eaten by my stepmum or brothers without them asking me. A week's supply will be gone in a day. I've tried explaining that this stuff is my supply for the week and they're gluten free, please could they not be eaten. I was ignored, and the bread I'd brought was gone when I went to make lunch during my working from home break.\n\nI bought a little mini fridge, and kept the bread, cakes and pasta in that for my use. I'm being called selfish for doing this, as they should be for all of us. I've also been told that the smell could attract rats, which seems silly since they're in a fridge. My point is that these are specific foods for my allergies, paid for out of my own pocket, and I put in money for rent and food for the family too. I consider these my own food items as I purchased them myself.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your food, they shouldn’t have been eating it to begin with. If you do have a rat problem, that only happens if you leave open food around (and it seems like shes just threatening it and it didn’t actually happen) ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my biological father 3 years ago (I’m 27 now) and we’ve been mending the relationship. We’ve become close friends and I’ve forgiven him for the mistakes he made leaving in the past. I was formally adopted by my step dad at age 3 and he and my mother have been raising me with my two sisters my entire life. \n\nAll that aside, my two sisters are angry that I would invite my bio dad to my wedding because they’re concerned that it would upset my step dad. They were both angry that I met my bio dad in the first place because they feel I shouldn’t need anyone else. \n\nI understand their concern, but I feel like that’s a convo I should have with my step dad and mom. My sisters getting mad on their behalf just makes me want to elope. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your day. Invite who you want. It’s also not a conversation your sister’s should be having with you. Talk to your mom and step-dad instead. ######"}
{"prompt":"alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.\n\nIn walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.\n\nI asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.\n\nWell, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.\n\nI told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.\n\nin my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).\n\nI even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50\/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.\n\nBut am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your comic and if your buddy can deliver the result you want then that’s great. ######"}
{"prompt":"Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7.  Am I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your car and you’ve offered other solutions to try and help. Ultimately it’s her responsibility to get herself to and from work. \n\nIt would be kind of you to let her but I can see why you’d be hesitant, I don’t think it makes you an asshole you’ve said no. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away. \n\nShe says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.\n\nBut the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business. \n\nWould we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s your apartment. You’re an adult with a lease. You can do whatever you want in the apartment wherever you want to. \n\nPut your bed in the dining room. Put your living room in the master. Decorate the whole apartment in bells. \n\nIt doesn’t matter. Because it’s YOUR apartment and it’s none of THEIR beeswax. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and dependent on me to help her make friends and socialize. To this day she still wants me to answer her questions for her sometimes because she does not want to talk to some people.\n\nI understand that my parents loves both of us but cares more about my sister. She is not independent neither was raised to be someone to care for herself. One of the reasons why I dislike my parent’s way of raising us. Finally I told them this is too much for me because I have my own life to live and I can’t take care of her if I’m not self-reliant. I told them if I can’t swim and you expect me to help another person drowning we’d both drown. \n\nTheir response was “You’re being selfish, you only think about yourself.”\n\nAITA for telling them I have to take care of myself first before caring for her? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s unfair for your parents to place that kind of burden on you. Do you have any other family or close adult you could talk to about the situation? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been applying to jobs for a bit now. Recently, I had a Zoom interview for a position in my town. The listing said nothing about commuting or going to another office.\n\nDuring the interview, the interviewer said “So I know the ad said the job was in x town, but it’s really in y town. Would that be a problem?” That town is an hour and a half away from me one way. I would not have applied for the position and have my location range on the job site set for a certain way. I said “Well, yes. I assumed it was for your x office since you put that town on your ad.” They said “Yes but we wanted more applicants. I personally travel between all of our offices often.” \n\nGood for him, but a 3 hour daily commute would not work for me. I told him I could work for x office if there was a position available. Interview ended not long after.\n\nI went to the online job board I applied on and reported the job for being misleading. It was removed the next day. My husband says I overreacted by having it removed. I think it’s unprofessional to do that. Was I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. it’s shady to do that and waste people’s time ######"}
{"prompt":"I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s ridiculous he wants to be the one to stab you with the needle just so he can feel like he’s involved. Tell him to rub your feet instead. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello Reddit. I figured this would be the perfect place to ask because abandoned and mysterious are some of this site’s favorite popcorn. \n\nI have recently bought a property in rural Pennsylvania. It is hundreds of acres way outside of a town with under 1000 people. There’s a huge forest and as I was exploring for the 50th time I came across a beautifully preserved house that seems like it was abandoned around the ‘70s. The house was well built and doesn’t actually have too much damage. Stone siding and metal roof so there were no gutters or cleaning needed. I’ve asked the locals about this house, the old owners of the property, libraries. Still no information at all. The house is a typical two story stone home. Maybe about 2500-3000 sq ft. So I guess it is my house now that nobody seems to know about somehow including the old owners who farmed a small portion of the land for 40 years. \n\nIn the house is a lot of utility and furniture pieces. So much beauty. I was considering scrapping the whole place and using a lot of the doors, hardwood, bookshelves and furniture in another house I am renovating. My SO says I’m an asshole when I came back with my truck loaded with a door and a small chandelier. My mom says and I’m an asshole too and my dad says it’s good so these things don’t rot. I imagine if it had been discovered it would’ve been trashed already but maybe people are more respectful than I think and I’m taking away explorers opportunities. \n\nWIBTA for scrapping it all or am already the asshole for jacking the door and some shelves? Thank you. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s on your property and you have a use for it elsewhere.  You’re entitled to move objects on your property from one place to another. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.\n\nWe’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.\n\nShe pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.\n\nI didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s ok to cry at movies. A lot of them are meant to invoke emotions. Would she be saying that if it was you or is she poking fun at toxic masculinity? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m from another country and lived and worked in to US for a few years. My mom sends me food packages every month with food, snacks, candy etc from home. This is for fun and she always sends way to much, but that’s just my mom 😁.\n\nSo I usually share with either friends, colleagues, neighbors or other people  that come over. \n\nI started a new job a couple of months ago and this was the first time I brought something here (it was a type of cookie). I explained to the people there in the moment why I brought it and put in in the break area for everyone to grab when\/if they wanted. \n\nAnother colleague started later that morning and a while after she came in she say the food I brought and asked who brought it. I said it was me and started to explain why when she interrupted me and asked if I took her allergy (gluten allergy) into account. I said sorry no and explained why I brought this. She said I was extremely rude for not thinking of everyone. And that it was better to not bring anything if not everyone could enjoy it. She said I was very selfish and don’t think about others. I gave a half-assed apology and told myself not to bring anything again. \n\nAm I the A-hole for bringing the food, not thinking about dietary restrictions? \n\nIf I would have bought something (for example for my birthday) I would definitely take all dietary restrictions into account, but this was just something I had left over ######","completion":" NTA. It’s not your job to conform to every ones diet. I have type 2 diabetes and I work also. I don’t go around on the days people buy food for everyone or whatever bitching about the fact they got sugar and bread and all that. Yeah it sucks. It oh well. That’s my business. Your co worker has a complex and should get over herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.\n\nI LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.\n\nTo be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.\n\nWIBTA if I said I want to keep them?\n\nQuick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that \"you should always help your family no matter what\". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s not your fault the original owner wants them back. They were given to you and now they belong to you. You can do as you please with them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, here's the situation:\n\nI am doing shit on my laptop, it needs updates and all that, since I just recently bought it and freshly installed Windows. I set the language on English despite German being my mother tongue.\n\nSo my sister comes by and she sees my new laptop. She wanted to see it so I gave it to her. Then she asks why I changed the language on English. I tell her that it's because it's easier to follow good tutorials written in English, and that I find it annoying to translate English to German to search for it.\n\nShe then went on to question why I had difficulty translating and I say sometimes translating isn't as easy as she thinks. I then went on with pretty shit examples, which she translated. \n\nSo I tried to justify me choosing English for some time, which only semi worked.\n\nAfter that, she said I could always search those things in English even on a german machine, which she proved. She then said that I was probably only doing it to show off, which was when I got really angry.\n\nI told her that it's because I like it on English and I questioned her why she had to be such a prick about it. I told her that I found the way she talked to me very condescending and mean. She then told me that I should calm down and that I should understand her position. She said that she knew my reasons were wrong and that she knew she was right. I should have said earlier that it's because of preference.\n\nIn her view I was kinda angry from the beginning, that's what she told me, and that I was getting unreasonably worked up.\n\nI know this is pretty trivial and shit, and we're both over it as it happenwd some time ago. But sometimes I can't help but think who was the asshole.\n\nSo I wanted to ask AITA for being annoyed and angry at her after this, or is it her. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s not even hers, how controlling can she be? ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother brought in a pet and over next 5 months we had it it was going good and I started to develop a small bond ( yeah it sounds cheesy) with the pet. All of a sudden he’s gone and she got rid of him and didn’t tell anyone. I just live in the house but I do everything for the cat, and she was mad at him I guess because he did things like climb tables and scratch things. \n\nAm I in the wrong for feeling mad that she just got rid of him with no warning, no heads up and I don’t even know where? She is trying to reimburse me with the money I spent on food but I don’t even want that. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s not at all cheesy to form a bond with your pet, even after a short time. Your mom sucks for getting rid of the cat without telling you and not letting you have any say when you were the one taking care of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So\nAbout a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. All that was explained to me was that she found someone else and wanted to end things amicably.\nAs far as I'm concerned, things ended amicably and there are no hard feelings regarding it to my knowledge.\n\nA couple weeks later she texted me and was asking how things were, I maintained a relatively normal conversation, but told her that I was also involved with someone else. She started sexting me, describing in detail what she would have wanted to do with me had we stayed together. After a bit of this, I ended the conversation, and she sent a final message along the same vein. I did not reply. She openly admitted to being aware that I don't tolerate cheating, but continued anyway. Last I heard, she's really mad at me for not responding, but also kinda upset that she picked the other guy (according to a mutual friend, he has some mental issues. Don't know what, Don't wanna know).\n\nSo, am I the asshole for not responding, as she claims? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s in the title “ex-girlfriend”. Tell your mutual friends you don’t want to know anything about her ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 13 I got into baking. I was an amateur for sure, but I liked finding new recipes and trying them out. My dad had this *extremely* annoying habit of eating stuff while I baked. Basically, here’s how it went: I’d do my chores and get permission from my mom to bake. I’d start baking, and sometimes my dad would walk by and take a large ball of cookie dough off the tray while I wasn’t looking and eat it. I always got annoyed with him, and he’d laugh like it was a joke. \n\nHe’d ask me who bought the ingredients and I would say mom, who got them at the store. Then he would say yeah but who made the money that bought them? And the answer was him (since there are 4 kids in my family and my mom is a SAHM). And then he’d say that since it was his money he had the right to eat them.\n\nIt sounds silly but this seriously annoyed me as a baker. This was back before I had a job, and my usual allowance was $2 a WEEK if I did all my chores. So, realistically, it’s not like I had the money to buy the ingredients myself. $2. A. Week. My dad made a six-figure salary but my mom tried to convince me that a $2 allowance was a lot.\n\nAnyway, when my dad took cookie dough, I’d get annoyed and always tell him not to, and he’d remind me that it was his money. I mean, it was, so I saw his point, but I think it’s rude to take dough from a baker without asking when they’re not even done with it. I would never do that to someone.\n\nIt could be that my dad didn’t realize how rude it was since he basically never did any cooking (or dishes or laundry, either, actually—he saw that all as my mom’s job). He made bread occasionally, but as far as kitchen stuff went, that was it. I feel like he really should’ve realized that it was disrespectful of my hard work on a recipe to “steal” dough from me before I was done, though. We always argued about it and each thought we were in the right. Which of us was the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s his money, but it’s your work. As a fellow baking enthusiast, I can understand how your father’s actions can make you feel. Also, Isn’t he worried about salmonella poisoning?\n\nMaybe you should start making pastries like croissants or Chouquettes or even eclairs. The raw dough tastes really bland and kinda gross, but the finishing product is amazing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent\/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s her fault for walking in on a therapy session she knew was private. If she stayed long enough to hear everything, the intent to disturb your privacy was there. She doesn’t have the right to judge anything she heard when she was the one in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52. \n\nI got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37\/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.\n\nWell when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.\n\nI know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.\n\nI did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s gross and uncomfortable and your parents should’ve understood that instead of saying to mind your business. As someone whose mom did this a lot, sorry you had to hear that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my GF and have been discussing getting married and having kids. \n\nHowever last night we got into an argument over raising our kids. \n\nShe doesn't want them wasting away in front of a TV or being unhealthy... Ok that's fine with me. \n\nHowever then she says that she doesn't really want our kids to do Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. Her reasons are that all they promote is consumerism and bad eating habits. \n\nHowever I became angry because while yes I can understand that view, at the same time, it would be robbing our children of experiencing something fun of those holidays. \n\nHer upbringing was not a happy one and she doesn't like the idea of lots of candy or spoiling children with gifts. She grew up with a very absent mother and no father. So she didn't have a very good experience with those holidays. \n\nI can understand her stance, but I think about how much fun finding Easter eggs, going trick or treating is, and the magic of Christmas, and missing those or muting them down to just another day, bothers me. \n\nWell I went to bed angry and so did she. I said well I guess we shouldn't have kids then. I woke up this morning feeling terrible for saying that. However I think the damage is done. I don't think this will work out. \n\nIt just sucks because I can feel those great memories and get view on those holidays, I can feel those memories being ripped from me. \n\nAnywho that's it. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s good that you had this conversation now and can break up and move on, rather than later when it’s too late. ######"}
{"prompt":"A girl at my school has some political opinions which are questionable at best. She posts said opinions on her blog. One opinion was particularly egregious, and I took screenshots of her blog in case she would delete it, as she is prone to do. I reposted the screenshots to Facebook after she deleted it. She then caught some flak for the blog because my post reached people who didn't know about her blog. People in the comments were trying to explain it to her, and she posted an apology saying she changed her opinions. But, I decided to keep the post up, and linked to her apology in the comments while removing any mention of her from the title and the rest of the post. She says that I'm causing people to dislike her because I posted it, but I'm saying that she's making other people dislike her because of her opinions. I told her I would delete it after a week. So, AITA for posting her opinions and not taking it down? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s funny that people post their horrible opinions on the internet and expect to not receive any blowback for the things they say. She decided to post it, so she can reap what she sows. Also, nothing that is even deleted is truly gone from the internet so her bad opinions will forever be available to whoever has the spare time to find them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment. Second floor, covered but outdoor walkway, medium walk from the street. I pay $8-12 from my limited means (I don't have a car, also due to limited means) to have groceries brought to me from walmart.\n\nSo here's the issue. Someone always seems to say \"Oh could ya come down to the car and get your groceries?\" or something of the like. And I think- *no! I checked \"contactless delivery.\" I paid you! I have several good reasons (a bad back and heavy items among them) to pay to have groceries brought to me. Do your job!*\n\nThere was at least one time when it was an older woman who complained of hip trouble when telling me to carry them myself. Which I did, cheerfully. But... why are you hiring someone to carry groceries who can't or won't carry groceries? Is it so wrong to just ask for what I paid for? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s called delivery. ######"}
{"prompt":"My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.\n\nFirst quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.\n\nLast quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.\n\nI told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s been months. It’s unreasonable for him to assume that you’ll just pay for everything indefinitely. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\n\nI (15) was very close with my great grandmother, Gram Joe. We were both avid gardeners and artists, and she taught me everything I know about painting. Gram Joe had blood cancer, and was running a bit slow in her last few months. My brother (11), on the other hand, never went to visit her. He would only come with if Gma, grams daughter, was getting us lunch after. And even then, he would sit on his phone and ignore her.\n\nShe passed away last November, and I miss her like hell. My biggest regret is I never got to come out to her. \n\nHer will specifically stated that I was to get all her supplies, which were incredibly expensive and well worth the money (30$ brushes, 150$ oil paint sets, canvasses, pencils, everything), which I was very grateful for. \n\nThen comes my father. He took half of the stuff I was supposed to get and gave it to my brother, who already had his things she set aside. Expensive oil paints, brushes, colored pencils, all to the boy who doesn’t like drawing. I was, of course, incredibly upset. \n\nMy dad said it was only to be fair since brother didn’t get much, but that’s because she didn’t know what to give! He never payed attention to her, he never went to visit. She didn’t know what he would want. My brother ended up throwing away his stuff. Except for the brushes, which he didn’t take care of properly and are now mangled beyond belief. Thankfully my brother and I are close so he secretly gave me the stuff while throwing away the packaging, but the rage was still there. My brother is very obviously my dads favorite\n\nMost of the rage was because he did that to Grams. I’m a religious person (paganism) and I know damm well Grams knew what he was doing. He violated her will for fucks sakes, that’s not ok!\n\nTL:DR. Favorite grandmother left me all her art and gardening supplies in the will, father then gave half of everything to brother (favorite son) “to be fair”, violating the will. Grounded me for being angry about it ######","completion":" NTA. It’s awesome your brother gave it back though. \n\nThis is the definition of fair doesn’t always have to be equal. You brother had no use for the stuff so it’s dumb to give it to him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.\n\nI continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit\/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.\n\nThen it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef\/chicken.\n\nI walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, \"Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. \" \n\nTo my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.\n\nTL;DR   Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ######","completion":" NTA. It’s astounding that an adult thought that was acceptable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24\/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING. \n\nfast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped\/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It’s an involuntary reflex brought on by your body reacting to the human being growing inside you. You know, the one he helped conceive. Your BF needs to grow up now because Daddy duty is not pretty. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I own 3 houses that I had bought with an inheritance that my grandad left me and I rent these houses out. This enables me to have a steady income even without having a job so I have quite a bit of money to save and put away. \n\nI rented one of the 3 properties out to my sister and her boyfriend for not a large sum at all.\n\nThe first few months they paid every time on the dot and I had no issues. However in the past 3 months I had received no payments and false promises of money that I was never going to receive. \n\nSo I removed them from the house and moved in a tenant who was willing to pay. My mother is furious that I kicked them both out and wants me to kick out the tenant who I moved in and move them back in AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. it’s always tricky going into something money involved with family. But that being said, that’s what it comes down to. They didn’t pay you. And this is your income that you live off of so you have to do what’s beat for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff. \n\nI dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15. \n\nWhen I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it. \n\nFew hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair. \n\nThe way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks. \n\nMy partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ######","completion":" NTA. It’s also a timing thing, when you were at McDonald’s you had only one mouth to feed! How were you supposed to know he’d wait for later to eat it. Tell your family to chill lol you’re doing fine ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.\n\nSo I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)\n\nI tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.\n\nI don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's yours, she needs her own. \n\nYou might want to also explain to your parents that \"playing on your account\" is essentially playing AS YOU.  Any people who know you, would assume it's you. *edit: Assuming play on multiplayer servers, etc.*\n\nAlso:\n\n>“Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” \n\nThis really kinda makes me sad for your mom. ######"}
{"prompt":" AITA: Backstory, I come from a big Mormon family. My mom has 5 siblings, and 5 step siblings. My dad has 8 siblings. I left the Mormon church a five years ago. I have a bad relationship with my dad, two of my siblings and my dad's whole family. Most of them haven't talked to me in years, and when my little brother died 2 years ago half of them didn't talk to me at his funeral. I am close with a lot of my mother's family excluding a couple of her step siblings and one of my aunt's.\n\nI don't want to invite my dad's side of the family if they can't even talk to me at my own brothers funeral. On my mom's side of the family I have one aunt that is a raging bitch. She hates me for reason's I don't know. Hell she hates almost everyone for reasons we don't know. At my brother's funeral she told me my bf (we had only been dating 6 months, and she had never met him or even heard of him) was using me, she said this in front of my whole family. Then the next Christmas she bought every niece a Christmas present besides me, (I don't care about the present, it was the spite that hurt me). My bf and I are talking about getting married soon, and I've talked to a few family members who say I have to invite her and her family. Her husband is the only one who treats me good, her kids and their spouses don't even acknowledge me .I'm sure if I don't invite my dad's side of the family he won't even come to my wedding.  It has become a huge debate, and to be honest I don't feel the need to spend extra money for 60 people who don't even treat me well.. AITA for excluding my whole dad's side of the family and her family from coming to our wedding? ######","completion":" NTA. it's your wedding. you should only invite people that you want to be there and are comfortable around. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me - (29M) my wife - Laura (26F) old friend - Shawn (31M)\n\nSo my wife and I actually got married in December 2016 so this situation is really fucking bizarre.\n\nAn old friend of mine recently got in touch with me after we lost contact many years ago and he saw that I’m married. I didn’t tell him this because we weren’t talking at the time and he got really offended that he wasn’t invited to my wedding.\n\nI told him that there wasn’t a wedding. My wife and I were only engaged for 6 months and took our daughter who was 6 months old at that time and eloped. The only people there were us; our kid and our witnesses were the registry office people. We literally got married on our own terms as we didn’t want a huge reception.\n\nShawn has used the argument that we used to be really close and that I’m an AH for not considering him as a witness even though joke of my family or friends or Laura’s were there. He also said were assholes for just eloping meaning our marriage must be shit. He then brought my now 3 year old daughter into this and I swiftly blocked him. \n\nI’ve recently brought up this bizarre exchange with my mom and she thinks that Laura and I should have had a proper wedding instead of the registry office reception with our daughter that we wanted. A few others have agreed with her but Laura says they’re idiots for dictating what they think a “real wedding” is and her family and our friends are on our side.\n\nWho’s the AH here? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your wedding not theirs. why they gotta have it their way. Your long lost friend is also a drama queen. Guy should just be happy that you are happilly married.\n\nYour wife is cool for calling them idiots. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother split with his gf about 2 months ago and he has been living with me. Before my brother moved in, it was just me and my dog. Anyway, he has three small children who I love to spend time with but he has them on his days off. They usually sleep Friday and go home Sunday. He also has them before or after work depending on the shifts he is on. Because they are at my house all the time my dog has to stay in the kitchen alot because he doesn't like kids. Also the kids have done damage to my house and my things. I recently told him that we need a schedule so that he can still have the kids over but also so I can have some time without the kids being there. I work 12 hour shifts so I want a couple of days where I can chill out with my dog and do things I can't really do when the kids are around. So I spoke to him today bout it and he is unwilling to compromise at all. He has said he wants the kids all the time which I understand because he loves them but I really need my own space. He has said he isn't willing to try the schedule and he just keeps saying he will move out. I don't want him to move out I just want some space. ######","completion":" NTA. It's YOUR place that your brother is staying in and should respect your house rules and personal space. You're not kicking him out, you just want to work things out. He should show some gratitude by taking you into consideration. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just under a week ago my mum's credit card got cloned, meaning she had to cancel it and get a new one. She asked if she could use mine for the time being and I (18f) said sure she can use contactless, there isn't much in it my account and I trust her.\n\nFor context, my brother (13m) without going into too much detail has done some very questionable things that have led to him being kicked out of one school and suspended numerous times from another. \n\nThe issue comes when my brother needs a new pair of trainers because there is a hole in his old ones. The contactless limit where I live (idk if it's different elsewhere) is £45. My mum and brother are leaving the house when my mum turns to me and says \"Can you give me your pin in case the trainers are over that amount\". Now I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone my pin but realistically I would probably give my mum the pin, but my brother is standing right there and I really don't want him to hear it because it wouldn't be that hard for him to take my card and use it, so I say no. The amount itself isn't really an issue because there is enough in my account and my mum said she would pay me back, but it isn't really that hard to find a pair of trainers under £45 anyway.\n\nMy brother starts going off on one about how I'm selfish and he won't be able to get any trainers now thanks to me. My mum is really not confrontational so she just kinda stands there. In the end they both went and brought a decent enough pair of trainers for like 30 quid or something, but my brother's still not speaking to me and my mum says I should've just told her it. \n\nI mean I'm legally an adult now and I don't feel like I'm obligated to tell her anything but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER. \n\nPersonal. It's not SWNFIN, or Shared With Nosy Family Identification Number.\n\nIdentity theft is no joke. Please make sure your important documents are in a safe place. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\n(I was \\~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \\~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me \"a little bit of it\". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your money. Unless your mother had to pay out for medical expenses, and it doesn't sound like she did - you deserve the money. Sue her, too. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t drink, I haven’t for nearly two years.\n\nMy dad likes to drink a lot, my brother is a straight up alcoholic in denial our family\/his wife have tried to help. But he claims he’s fine.\n\nWhen both of them drink they became even bigger sexist, racist assholes. They make sexist comments about women, gross homophobic jokes about the LGBT community and throw around the N Word more than they should (we’re white that word should never leave their mouths)\nI am a pansexual woman.\n\nMy brother hangs out with me a couple times a week because we have a lot in common and like hanging out, but every time he comes over he brings at least two six packs of beers. He leaves empty bottles all over the place, once in the shower. My bins are in my parking lot (literally two feet from his own car) but even if I ask he won’t take them to the trash when he leaves. It thoroughly annoys me because I don’t like having any of it in my house.\n\nLast week my brother and I planned a “sleepover” to get stoned and hang out, our usual thing. I told him please not to bring alcohol over because I didn’t want it here. The next day my brother cancelled the plans because he was “busy” \n\nQueue videos on Snapchat of him at a mates drinking. Fine he got a better offer.\nBut it hurt, I know he cancelled our plans because I asked him not to bring booze but I’m also not comfortable having alcohol in my house anymore because when he starts drinking he’s an asshole and likes to start fights about issues he knows I care about i.e woman’s right, gay rights, sexism etc. He makes rude comments and when I get upset or argue against it he tells me to “calm down it’s just a joke” but I don’t find it funny.\n\nI don’t want alcohol in my home but I’m worried it’ll hurt my relationship with him if I don’t allow him to drink at mine.\nShould I hold my ground or give in and just let him drink so I can have a relationship with my brother (I’ve already been disowned by my sister for various reason) ######","completion":" NTA. It's your house and you have ample reason. \n\nAlso, if this severely damages your relationship with your brother, that is entirely his issue. \"My sister won't let me leave empty bottles all over her house and insult minorities anymore? Forget her!\" He doesn't sound like the best of siblings. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is pretty self-explanatory. I was working out in my living room when I heard something on my back porch knock over. Thinking an animal was getting to some of the vegetables I had in pots out there, I quickly ran outside without thinking to put a shirt on (since I've been working out at home, I don't feel the need to put on a shirt and I'm more comfortable that way).\n\nFound an overturned pot, put it back up, made sure everything was good and went back inside to finish my workout. I wasn't outside for more than five minutes. Well my next-door neighbor saw me out there, and I guess it made him uncomfortable. He complained to my mom, and she told me just to try not to do it again. I still think thats unfair. Even though I usually wear a shirt, its my back yard and I should be comfortable. I'm not walking around the neighborhood or anything. Plus, I'm sure he's taken off his shirt while mowing his lawn or doing yard work. My mom says to just let it go, but I'm pretty pissed about being told what to do in my own yard.\n\nAITA?\n\nETA: Not that it makes it less creepy, but our yards are only separated by low bushes, so we can both see each others yard pretty clearly ######","completion":" NTA. It's your home and you can do what you want. People exercise outside of their home - like walking on sidewalk\/on trails, or even at the gym - in that same kind of outfit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.\n\nSo I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)\n\nI tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.\n\nI don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your game. Sharing your account risks her making changes to settings and existing worlds and using your servers. There's nothing wrong with not wanting other people touching your stuff and your parents shouldn't expect it from you (and clearly the issue isn't whether they can afford it). They're just going to give your sister a sense of entitlement if they tell her she automatically has the right to use other people's things. Since she doesn't have the game I do think it'd be nice if you kept letting her play, but you're not an asshole if you don't. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.\n\nRight away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.\n\nSo we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.\n\nMy brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time. \n\nWhen the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.\n\nHe says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included. \n\nThen he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.\n\n ######","completion":" NTA. it's your daughters switch, she can decide who gets it and who doesn't. besides that, the two girls probably wouldn't include her anyways, even if she got the switch. \nthey're both not TA as well, they're just kids and want to play. they (and you) can decide who to spend time with. absolutely nothing wrong with that.\n\nbrother is TA for trying to create a bond between the girls (and the mothers) while ignoring everyones feelings. you could try to include your SIL more but you shouldn't feel forced to do it just because of your brother. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad had an affair and has been with his girlfriend for about 6 months now (for context my parents are still married and my mum knows about the affair). I was talking to him on the phone today and he mentioned that he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. I told him that I didn't want to and perhaps with a little bit more time I'd be open to it. He seemed to be offended by it but I didn't waver on my answer. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want to meet his mistress? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your choice and he should respect that. Especially in a situation like that he should be thankful for the possibility of you two meeting. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA?\nTLDR; husband can't stand tattoos and won’t let me get one- I’m about to just do it- but he might just break over it. \n\nHi, I’m F25 and my husband M25 have a good marriage, we’ve had normal marriage problems but I’d like to think we did a good job resolving them through good communication and positive change. (Four years)\n\nEvery few months though, we’ve been having the same fight. I want my first tattoo and he doesn't want me to get one at all. The solution here isn’t as easy as “ f him, be a free independent woman, it’s your body, ect”. \n\n1st problem is one of the positive changes in our marriage is me making an effort to make decisions together instead of alone. (ITA story below)\n2nd problem is we are both children from strict Mormon backgrounds- though we aren’t Mormon anymore- a lot of his issue is he was made to believe people with tattoos are trashy, immature and criminals.\n\nI’ve tried to compromise. On his end I can’t get one till I’m 30 (um, ok.. dad?). On my end, it’s got to be something small and where people can’t notice it easily. He thinks if I wait till 30 I won’t want one anymore because mature new moms don’t get first tattoos.\n\nI’m about ready to just do what I want where I want, but I’m also not ready to put a rift in our marriage again. AITA if I get one?\n\nTattoo: just a black, thin line contour of a violet, it’s stem and 1-3 leaves on the end behind my ankle bone.\n\nITA story: I really wanted a dog he never did- he told me no but told me I could still do it- but it was a feeling of betrayal when I chose to get a puppy. I admit it was selfish, but I wish it didn’t make him feel like I didn’t love him\/respect him. He resented me for three months even when he gained real love for that dog after one. ######","completion":" NTA. It's your body he doesn't get to \"let\" you decorate it however you see fit. \n\nAlso, coming from someone who is tattooed from neck to feet your husband can jog on. Tattoos don't make people criminals. Only committing crimes does that. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we’ve been having sex for a few months. Most subjects we agree on pretty much completely and if not it’s not a big deal, everyone’s different. One of the topics that have come up is abortion and she says she is pro choice which I am too. My lizard brain didn’t think this through and assumed if we had a slip up we would go that route because that’s how it was in my past relationships.\n\nToday on a car ride she mentioned she’s pro choice but personally wouldn’t be able to have an abortion which is fine, that’s her choice. I told her that it’s my fault that I didn’t bring up the subject and that it was wrong of me to assume, but right now I’m in college and still have 3 more years left. I think I might want kids someday but I couldn’t have them now. I told her I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore for awhile at least because I don’t want an accident to happen even though we are generally pretty safe.\n\nBecause if something did happen right now I’m not sure if I could stick around. And wouldn’t want to put anyone, especially her in that situation. \n\nRight now she’s upset that I’ve had sex with her before but won’t right now and saying that I’m being unreasonable.\n\n\nAITA for not wanting to have sex? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your body and it sounds like you have some stuff to think about before you're ready to have sex with her again. ######"}
{"prompt":"First of all I'm a 19 year old male and my mother is in her late 50's. When I became a teenager the relationship with my mother and I began to weaken but for the most part we still remained civil to each other. There's never been any physical abuse or anything like that but there's definitely been times we've both said things we shouldn't have and by the time I was old enough to move out I had been diagnosed with some mental disorders such as severe depression and anxiety that I believe were fueled by my mother.\n\n A few months ago, I found a pretty reasonable 2 bedroom apartment near my job and moved in with a roommate. It was nice that I didn't have to come home to a toxic environment every single day and since I've moved out I've stopped seeing a counselor and have reduced the number of medications I take. I still kept in contact with my mother and the rest of my family and she still convinces me to visit home every couple of weeks or so. Mostly I take the opportunity to visit my father, who I've always gotten along better with, and do laundry. The visits usually aren't too bad but I'm definitely happy when I finally find an excuse to leave. \n\nMy mother and I have always had different ideas when it comes to personal space and boundaries. There have been multiple times where she has tried to force herself into my apartment when I've specifically asked her not to come over. And today I wake up from a nap to see her standing in my doorway watching my sleep. When I asked how she got in and why she was there she simply said the door was unlocked. She had called me once, which I didn't hear because I was asleep, before deciding she needed to come in because I didn't answer. Her purpose for needing to get into contact with me was that she wanted me to go get ice cream with her of all things.\n\nWIBTA for letting her know she is officially unwelcome from my home or is this common among everyone's parents and I'm just overreacting to the situation? ######","completion":" NTA. It's your apartment. You can set any boundaries you want about guests and your mom doesn't have the right to ignore them just because she's your parent. Establishing and enforcing strict boundaries is the only way to deal with parents who think that they can still do whatever they want with their adult childrens' time and space. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I sometimes make desserts, majority cakes, but I haven’t really been able to do so in the past few months because of school and work. However, because of the things currently going on in the world, I’m not working at the moment so I’ve had a lot of free time recently. Just two weeks ago, I was finishing decorating a two tier cake i had made when my cousin suddenly showed up at my house. She was instantly amazed at the cake i just made and starting making comments  like “hurry up and finish so i can post it on my Instagram.” Well, when I finished she proceeded to take a picture and post it. After that my family and I all ate the cake together and called it a day. Well apparently after she posted the picture, one of her friends responded to it asking if i would be able to make a cake for her sons birthday, which is today. The thing is my cousin not only didn’t ask me before saying yes, but she also didn’t let me know of this whole situation until 9a.m this morning! The boy’s “party” started at 3 today and I absolutely refused to make the cake after my cousin called me frantic on the phone claiming she forgot to tell me. Well because of this the boy didn’t have a cake for his birthday today and my cousin went around telling the whole family I refused to make a cake for a little boy, making me look like the bad guy.\n\nAITA for not making the cake? ######","completion":" NTA. It's very sad that the little boy didn't get a cake, but it's your cousin's fault, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":" My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the \"plandemic\" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other \"conspiracy\" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It's up to YouTube whether they take down something for false information. To be a censor, you'd have to actually be censoring. In this case, that's YouTube, not you. Reporting misinformation wherever you find it is a public service. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHere's a little backstory. My boyfriend dated his now best friend 3 or 4 years ago. They shared some traumatic experiences together and he says he feels like they recovered together. He also says that they're happy as just friends and haven't fooled around since they were together.\n\nSo the best friend's brother was having a destination wedding in Mexico this week, but its been pushed back to July due to the (bad thing). The best friend's parents are freakin loaded and offered to pay for her and a guest to attend the wedding. When the invitations were sent out at the beginning of the year, she asked my boyfriend to go with her. He obviously said yes. They were both single at the time. They paid for his flight and he'd share her hotel room.\n\nWhen the wedding was pushed back, the parents reached out to him to tell them they'll figure out new flight times once a new date was confirmed. I think it might be inappropriate for him to go now. We've been dating for a few months and she just started seeing a new guy. I brought it up to my boyfriend and he said that she usually waits a long time before someone she is dating to meet her family and he still wants to go. He's excited for the beaches and the open bar. He acts like I'm just jealous and its totally fine for him to be his best friend's date. I want to trust my boyfriend, but this just feels like a lot of red flags.\n\nAITA for asking him not to go? ######","completion":" NTA. It's totally reasonable to feel jealousy or uncertainty in this situation, if your boyfriend doesn't feel the same way, I'd have a talk with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago and my brain keeps sending it back to me. I was traveling and I stopped at a rest stop that’s well known for having lots of bathroom stalls and they’re always very clean. There’s probably about 30 stalls in the women’s restroom, and usually not even a line because there’s so many stalls. \n\nAnyways, I get to the restroom and this time, there’s a line. I patiently wait until I’m about 15 people from the front. Two workers come to the line and announce “there’s a lot of stalls open in the back” No one moves. \n\nSo the worker other worker says “you don’t need to wait in line, there’s a ton of open stalls”. Again, no one moves. \n\nSo I hop out of line, walk past those in front of me, and head to the back of the restroom. I see about 2\/3 of all the stalls are empty.\n\nOn my way to the back of the restroom, this random woman grabs my arm and says I need to wait my turn. I say there’s plenty of stalls and there’s room for everyone. She starts pinching my arm and says there were people ahead of me and I need to get back in line. I was so surprised I just yanked my arm away, directed her to an empty stall, and then went in one myself. \n\nBy the time I came out, there was no line and the workers were much more aggressively directing incoming people to empty stalls. \n\nYes, I technically skipped 15 people in line, but they were being sheeple and mindlessly following. I don’t like to waste my own time. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's the same as when you're at the grocery store and they open a new register and no one moves. First come first serve. \n\nAlso, if a random person pinched me because I didn't \"wait my turn\" I would have freaked out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am very interested to learn how everyone sees this.\nMy father is dead now for about 10 years. He had been a banker and had offered an (ill advised) investment opportunity - back in the 2000s - to a sort of friend, I'd say more of a buddy, if that makes sense. \nThe friend made an investment of 500 €, which seemingly was a lot to him at the time (important later).\n\nMy father went back to the US and forgot all about his previous life in Germany, where this plays out, he later died there too. He left most of his earthly belongings to his two brothers. \n\nThe friend never forgot about his 500 € investment into this stock, the respective company went bankrupt in the late 2000s, without him even noticing. When I met him on the bus only recently, he approached me and asked me to pay him back 'his' 500 €. I was a bit shocked since I didn't even know about his investment - apparently my father had told him this was a totally safe investment opportunity where he'd get back his money any time.\n\nI refused to pay or even split the loss, telling him that the real heirs of my father's estate were in the US. I actually tried to reach out to one of these uncles but was unsuccessful. Apparently the 'friend' is hard pressed for cash after the restaurant his brother maintained had to close, leaving him unemployed and later working as a package delivery driver. \n\nAITA for not paying the friend? He has been giving me death stares every time I saw him since, occasionally trying to make me feel guilty by saying things like: \"Well, this money doesn't hurt you like it hurts me.\" \n\nI do not feel responsible for my father's idiotic investment tipps which he gave to people, plus the people's decisions to follow through with them. Am I under a moral obligation to seek out the guy and pay him? ######","completion":" NTA. It's the nature of investments that sometimes they just don't work out. It's a gamble, and he chose to take it.\n\nThink of it this way. If the investment had paid off really well, would he be offering you money in gratitude for your father helping him gain some wealth? Most likely no. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so, it's background info o'clock.\nI'm 19, M, disabled. I'm autistic, have ADD, and a massive sensory processing disorder (SPD).\nBasically, SPD means i'm very sensitive to sensory stimulations and can overload very quickly. I also have prothesis to protect my ears from sound (it's basic but sufficient when I'm not too overloaded).\n\nI was on the bus earlier and had my prothesis on, so I couldn't hear people very well. I also have a small deficiency in my left ear. A middle-aged woman started talking to me on my left side. At first I just did not hear her. That offended her and she taped my shoulder, which made me jump because, I don't like unsolicited contact from strangers (again, autism). I look at her confused and she goes, mockingly:\n\n\"Are you deaf, or what?!\"\n\nThat rubbed me the wrong way because I don't like the idea of someone making fun of deaf people, plus I really didn't want to interact with her. So, I had an idea. I took my phone in Notes and typed:\n\n《Sorry, I can't hear you. My hearing aids battery are dead. Can you sign ?》\n\nShe looked at me, blushed heavily and just very loudly \"uh, no, it's nothing.\" and walked away. I was satisfied but then realised that it's kinda rude to impersonate a disability that I don't have, and maybe she wanted to communicate something important to me ? Sure, she walked away but I can't be sure it was nothing. I think I maybe should have avoided that interaction in another way. I don't know. What do you think, AITA ?\n\n(English is not my first language and I'm on mobile) ######","completion":" NTA. It's so insensitive to ask someone if they're \"deaf, or what?!\", regardless of whether they are wearing prosthesis. You taught her a lesson and hopefully she won't be so offensive in the future. I think that's a small win for the deaf community, and I'm sure they'll give you a pass for this one. Anyone feel free to rebut my statement if it is out of line!\n\nEdit: spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"So about a month ago my sister told us she’s infertile. It’s a shame and I feel bad for her but life goes on. I’m the of my generation to have kids in my family, so my parents have been badgering me to send them pictures and videos because they can’t visit.\n\nYesterday my husband was asleep on the sofa with my son in his arms and the cat sleeping next to him and I thought it was really cute so I took a picture and sent it to the family group chat(my parents, grandma, two brothers and sister). My mom sent a bunch of hearts and my brothers sent one word answers like “cute” and “nice”. My sister didn’t respond and I honestly wasn’t even thinking about her being infertile when I sent it, I mean it’s been a month.\n\nMy sister then left a voicemail that was a long rant saying how it was insensitive and rude and I should have thought about what I was sending. \n\nI don’t think I did anything wrong, it’s been a month and the world doesn’t revolve around her, I’m not going to be thinking about her problems all the time. She must see babies all the time on social media.\n\nAItA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's sad that she can't have biological children but she does have a young child she is biologically related to and it's her nephew, your son. Does she want you to suddenly pretend your family doesn't exist because of her news, or would she rather that she was excluded from future family chats because she no longer wishes to acknowledge the existence of her nephew? ######"}
{"prompt":"Got some degree of background, I (30F) was pregnant and miscarried. I now have to have the left over tissue removed from my body. I was only 9 weeks at the time, but I’m obviously hormonal and I’m sad.\n\nMy husband (31M) was never excited about the pregnancy. To be honest, it was unexpected. We have no other children and weren’t planning on it any time soon. \n\nI scheduled the appointment and asked if he was available during that time. He confirmed he was, but as the conversation continued he kept bringing up how he was trying to make plans with a friend who’s in from out of town for that evening. I told him I didn’t want to do that. \n\nHe still wants to go hang out with his friend. Am I just hormonal? Or is it reasonable to expect him to be a source of emotional support after that? He just saw this friend two weeks ago. ######","completion":" NTA. It's reasonable to expect him to be a source of emotional support after that. Whether he was excited about the pregnancy or not is actually beside the point - he's supposed to be there to support the woman he loves while she goes through something difficult.\n\nI'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ######","completion":" NTA. It's quite dishonest for a company that claims to let customers personalize products, to use those personalizations to make new products, especially without giving you credit. Maybe they have fine print somewhere that says they reserve the right to do that, but it doesn't make what they are doing any less deceptive.\n\nThe gifts you had designed for your daughter and mom are no longer personal, unique. Kind of reminds me of people who steal someone else's tattoo design. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.\n\nhe frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse. \n\nas much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial \"support\"(he blows all his money on stupid things)\n\nmy mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care). \n\nI recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like \"your mom needs you to stay here\", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.\n\ntoday was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone \"because she wanted to do something nice for him\". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.\n\nI think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.\n\nAITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######","completion":" NTA. It's probably the best thing you can do if she's enabling his emotional and verbal abuse of you. He's trying to get you into the same victim role he has your mom in.\n\nStay safe! ######"}
{"prompt":"So a throwaway account and bit of backstory here, bare with me...\n\nI do almost all the cooking in the house, no problems at all as I enjoy doing it. Every weekend we align what time we're eating etc, additionally I give them notice just before, I (usually) set the table and more often than not I'll be sitting at the table waiting for my wife and kids to come while the food gets cold.\n\nSometimes they really are just coming from a bath or something, but other times its simply a case of they will start doing something else in the last minute (e.g. jump in the pool just before, start a game etc - this time it was unpacking the dishwasher while dinners on the table) - the usual response is \"it'll only take a minute\"  \nWell yesterday evening everyone turned up late again, I don't say anything - my son barely touches his dinner then asks my wife if he can have corn chips instead. She goes to get him a bowl of chips (again I don't say anything but am noticeably annoyed) She asks whats wrong, and I say it's very similar to turning up late to dinner, it shows a lack of respect (towards me) for taking the time to prepare a meal than not eating &amp;\/or letting it go cold. My daughter was only eating the roast chicken (nothing else) and my wife says that's just as unhealthy - where I return to say that's rubbish.  \nShe then says \"of course you're always right, your opinions always correct etc etc\" where I then turn and say this isn't fair in front of the kids, I angrily get up - leave the table &amp; meal half eaten and haven't spoken to her since.  \nI already know this is being picky, but it bothers me as it feels like a lack of respect - Even if it's not that important, I feel if she knows it bothers me then after so much time she would just prioritize it as its important to me.  \nSo I suppose that's it - AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's pretty disrespectful to ignore the effort you've made. Sitting down for dinner should be part of a routine with kids, and parents should reflect that.\n\n Also giving a kid a pack of chips cause they don't want dinner? Not healthy or helpful. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the coming few weeks I've (25f) been tasks with a painting project in the house. That's fine however I have pretty bad ADHD, and not getting side tracked is really hard. On top of that I have sound sensitivity and a macaw who will screech randomly. I find that I can allow myself to stay focused and in the zone if I start quietly listening to podcasts or music with my headphones. That way it drowns out unpredictable noises but it's not so loud that I can't tell if someone is trying to talk to me.\n\nYou could say i should just put one headphone in but that splits my focus in too many directions. it also doesn't help drown out the screeching of our macaw.\n\nMom on the other hand likes to talk. Usually it's about a recipe she wants to make or something she found on facebook. it's rare for it to be about me or the project at hand.\n\nI let her know that I have my headphones in and that I likely won't hear her fully but that doesn't stop her from speaking up randomly. She doesn't try to get my attention first by saying my name, so by the time I put my brush and paint down, and take out my headphones, I miss most of what she's saying and have to ask her to repeat it.\n\nThis gets her really annoyed and she tells me to take out my headphones, and to not wear them because she wants to be able to talk to me without worrying if she'll be fully heard.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's perfectly reasonable to wear headphones when doing something mundane like chores. Your mom is being rather obtuse since she knows you have ADHD, so any reasonable method to cope with it shouldn't be a problem. Just say to her, \"Mom, we can either talk, or I can get my chores done. Pick one.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"We are both in our early 20s, together for 2 years and live together \n\nHis work schedule is a standard mon-Thursday 8-5. We usually go to bed at very reasonable hours and get good amounts of sleep. \n\nHe used to smoke weed in high school\/college but stopped when he got a job that required drug testing. He recently got a new job that doesn’t test so he started smoking again. \n\nI have nothing against smoking, but I do have an issue with how it’s changed our lives with each other. He will smoke as soon as he comes home from work, he’ll play some video games, we’ll eat dinner and then he falls asleep. For the past few weeks he’s been falling asleep between 7pm and 9:30pm. The other day he fell asleep right after dinner at 6:30. \n\nThe problem is, between dinner and bedtime was our time to hang out with each other. We would watch a movie or hang out or do naughty things. We haven’t done any of that lately because he’s sleeping so early. \n\nThe next morning he will wake up groggy and drowsy because he’s sleeping so much. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he says that it’s not because of the weed and if he is sleeping early it’s because he needs it. I told him it’s not normal for him to get 12 hours of sleep and then be tired again at 7pm. Also this didn’t start until he started smoking again. \n\nNow he thinks I’m mad about the weed and I’m sincerely not I just hate the fact that we don’t get any time together anymore and I’m getting very frustrated. AITA for being mad about this? ######","completion":" NTA. It's perfectly reasonable that you want your significant other to spend some time with you, and this is preventing that. Maybe there's another underlying reason for his exhaustion, but to me it seems like this isn't a regular relationship - just cohabitation.\n\n I feel like the real issue here is communication and you fix that, you can solve the other problem ######"}
{"prompt":"We are all teens if that changes anything. A few times a week me (male), one other guy, and 3 girls go jogging together. We are all neighbors. Me and the guy don't wear shirts and the girls don't either they just wear their bras. \n\n\nMy girlfriend was reluctant to join but she decided to come once. Afterwards she told me she didn't want me jogging shirtless with other shirtless girls. She said it makes her feel bad because the girls are attractive, have bigger boobs, are wearing short shorts, are showing cleavage, and they might like seeing me shirtless. I reassured her I only want her but she insisted I stop. I refused.\n\n\nShe says she won't break up with me over it but that I'm being an ass by continuing. ######","completion":" NTA. It's perfectly fine to go jogging like that with your friends. Wear what you're comfortable with. Your girlfriend's jealousy shoudn't affect the way that *you* dress. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my boyfriend spends a moderate sized chunk of money on things like patreon and onlyfans so I got annoyed and told him something along the lines of \"Why do you spend all this money on random women when I'm right here and we could use this money to go somewhere together\", it also makes me feel bad when I see him replying to these models tweets about how hot they are and how he'd love to fuck them, even though we follow each other\n\nAnyway, my comment annoyed him and he snapped at me and said \"why the fuck does it matter how much i spend\".\n\nAm I being unreasonable with this? I feel ignored because I am here to do all that stuff with if he wants.. ######","completion":" NTA. It's one thing to watch porn. It's another to tell specific people you want to fuck them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents passed on in the 1990s when I (16M) and my sister (18F) were teenagers. They died when a trucker ran a light and into their stationary car. My sister insisted on splitting the family inheritance as she wanted to elope with her musician bf to NYC and I was forced to move out from our family home, which was sold. Fortunately, we lived in a pretty nice area and along with some insurance payouts we inherited about $800,000 each after taxes\/fees.\n\nIn the early 2000s, my grandparents passed on and we inherited about $150,000 each.\n\nI lived for 2 years with my grandparents before moving out for college. My money was mostly put into an index fund for me and I went on to finish high school and a STEM degree in college. I graduated, found an honest job, and live a simple single life in the same small city where I was born. A couple of years back, I finally bought a 3-bedroom suburban house while still working as a manager at a local company.\n\nMy sister didn't bother to attend college and proceeded to blow her entire inheritance in less than two decades. During that period, she also had two children, worked only occasionally, her bf vanished when the money was gone, and she was arrested for selling drugs repeatedly.\n\nOver the years, I have bailed her out of jail, lent her $$,$$$, and sent presents to her kids who are now almost 20. Neither of her kids are attending college and they are all working in odd jobs. I estimate that I have lent her almost $100,000 to tide over 'hard times' over the years. Money which she has no hope of paying back. While my grandparents were still alive, they also sent her money repeatedly for \"their great-grandkids\".\n\nRecently, my sister asked if I could pay for movers to move them in with me for \"awhile\", as she cannot afford to pay rent in NYC any longer, and since I have \"two empty bedrooms anyway\". She also asked if I could help sponsor her kid's college tuition as they really need it.\n\nAITA for refusing her request? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not your job to finance her poor choices. She's right about one thing--those are **your** two empty bedrooms and you'd like them to stay that way.\n\nDo not invite the drama in because it will *never* move out. ######"}
{"prompt":"To paint the picture it's a first generation ipad, which basically has no support for any of their apps anymore including YouTube and most of the app-store apps. The main thing that they can be used for is internet surfing but even then they don't have much proccessing power to load modern websites which take so much power.\n\nI made a reference to this in the description saying that people think they are bricks in 2020 but ive been using it for Spotify which is pre-downloaded. It's not like I'm selling a broken iPad. It can be used as a music hub or even something for a computer enthusiast to jailbreak or whatever they want.\n\nThe seller is requesting a return of the item based upon the fact that she can't run YouTube on safari and so they have decided it's broken. \n\nI have tried to explain that if they had done the slightest bit of research on google then they'd have found that they should be buying atleast the second generation iPad which still supports YouTube. I've also offered to send her links to the huge amount of videos on YouTube which go over what they can still be used for and what they can't be used for.\n\nIf the response is NTA Ill continue to stand my ground, but I'm being the asshole then I'll issue the refund. I need all of your opinions please ######","completion":" NTA. It's not your fault the buyer doesn't understand what she purchased. She should have done her research or asked questions before purchasing it. \n\nStand your ground. ######"}
{"prompt":"my mom dropped her phone in the toilet at WORK the other day. she put her phone in rice for 40ish hours, and today, she USED THAT RICE TO MAKE LUNCH.\n\ni told her there's no way im eating that, because her phone was in it. even if it hadnt dropped in a toilet, its DISGUSTING. she said its okay, since she disinfected her phone after it fell in the toilet and she washed the rice before making it.\n\ni still absolutely refuse to eat it, she said that im being nitpicky and that its not a big deal. AITA??? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not the worst but it is gross and it is weird to expect you to eat it. If she is fine with her phone germs she should eat it, not put it on you. Just make a sandwich and let her enjoy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother can't drive because he gets seizures. I drive him wherever he goes. He wants me to drive him to a protest nearby, but it got really out of hand last night with people being maced and dragged out of their cars and being beaten by cops. He wants to take video as legal evidence in case protestors get arrested, so he'll bring a 360° camera.\n\nI told him that I wouldn't be driving him because it's unsafe, and he got irritated and said he'd rather I drive him than him getting into an Uber with a stranger. I told him that it's my car and I don't have to do what he says, and he told me that if I'm preventing him from doing the right thing then I'm complicit in white supremacy. AITA? He doesn't have any friends he can bum rides off of. ######","completion":" NTA. It's not safe for healthy people, much less so for one prone to seizures. Side note: him saying not driving him means you're complicit in white supremacy is totally not okay and you should address that with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, so today, I(16M) and my family was talking about something that can't be mentioned in this subreddit. I said that I wanted to say what I thought about that subject, and my sister started giggling about how I was going to say something stupid probably taken from a youtube video. My dad laughed with her and insinuated that I was going to say something dumb, and my mom said how she was going to see if I was her son, insinuating that she is smart. I really got offended since my whole family was saying that I was dumb, and I really don't think so. I have really bad grades since I started studying in Switzerland (in German), and that's my 4th language, so I get 3 and 4 out of 6 regularly. After that, I took my dishes, cleaned them and came to my room (I had already finished my dinner). Everyone says that I should come back and that was being rude. I am now in my room and I wonder, AITA here? P.S.: sorry for grammar errors, I'm not a native speaker.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: 30 min later, my mom knocked and apologised, my sister was embarrassed and my dad didnt say anything. Thank you all for the advice!  ######","completion":" NTA. It's not rude to remove yourself from a hostile situation. Just because they were having fun, doesn't change that it was hostile to you. They're the rude one's, for ganging up on you, and putting you down. Since when is that what a \"family\" is supposed to do? ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory mobile apology for formatting and spelling \n\nThis year my grandmother (mother’s father, not that that matters) is turning 80. For her 80th my mother and I are making her a quilt. The plan is to have all of the family members sign a block of the quilt and then for us to stitch over it. \n\nFor our purposes family is defined as her siblings (full and half), her descendants (all living generations) and all of her descendants spouses.\n\nWe are choosing not to do significant others that are not already “common law married” (ie been together for 10+) years because it’s a lot of work to make a quilt and it would be awkward to have a name that is no longer part of the fam on there.\n\nWe sent a single square to my brother (22) to sign and he called and was pissed that we didn’t send one for his gf (23). They’re both fresh out of college (graduated this semester) and have been dating for 2 years. We told him we don’t want her name on their because she isn’t part of the family by the definitions we set for the purpose. He told us he’s not going to sign his then. \n\nWhile it might be worth noting, grandma does not like the gf because she is overly dependent on my brother, it is not the deciding factor. We have family on the quilt that she also does not like but is either her descendant or a spouse of her descendant. The gf is simply not included due to the relative brevity of the relationship. \n\n\nAITA for not wanting her name to be on the quilt I’m making? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not like you only selected his girlfriend to be excluded. You all made a blanket rule (hehe) that she just so happens to fall under. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so long story short, I'm basically flat chested A cup. My boyfriend and I argue alot, and one of the things he constantly points out it that I don't wear a bra. \n\nThey're uncomfortable for me because they're always too big, they look and feel stupid on me and I just hate them. He commented in an argument that I wore one when we first dated. (I wore a pushup to look good in the dresses I had) \n...Which I stopped wearing after he saw me naked. By then theres no point. He'd seen what I really look like. \n\nI lack alot of confidence when it comes to my body, and every time I want to go out he demands I wear a bra, nothing low-cut, nothing tight. He makes comments about not wanting people to stare at my nipples.\n\nI wear baggy clothing around him all the time, and he still complains. \n\nReddit, am I the asshole for not wearing a bra? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not his body. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, this is my first time ever posting on Reddit, so please excuse any mistakes I make.\n\nI (17F) keep getting into little arguements during summer with my mom (57F) over not wanting to shave my legs. Having hair on my legs doesn't really bother me, to me it's just... there. I also get occasional acne or mosquito bites on my legs, so it tends to hide them.\n\nMy mom is completely different on this, with her reasons for wanting me to shave being a) \"it looks bad\" b) \"people will make fun of you\" and c) \"it makes me look like a bad parent\".\n\nA is pretty subjective, I don't really care how others think I look and just do whatever I want appearance wise (within reason). B is something I don't mind, cause people are gonna pick on you for some little reason, no matter what. \n\nC makes me feel upset cause I don't get how me not shaving my legs = her being a bad mom. She says it'll make people think that she doesn't look after my appearance or something, but it still doesn't make much sense.\n\nMy mom has little to no body hair cause of having radiation treatment for cancer a little after I was born, so she doesn't have to deal with it. I think it's very strange of her to bother me over my hair though.\n\nFinal thing I have to add to this; after she brings up shaving, she'll start calling me names like \"Hairy Mary\" and ask if I've shaved every time I shower. I think it's childish of her to resort to calling me names to bully me into shaving. \n\nSorry for this disjointed post, I'm not very good with putting things into words. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not her body, she needs to shut the fuck up. ######"}
{"prompt":"DH (M42) and I (F41) have been married almost 18 years.  We have our issues, but one there's one that keeps coming up that I really frustrated with.  DH is upset that I'm not expanding our family's social horizons by making friends for us to do things with.   DH is an extrovert who wants to be around people all the time.  I'm deeply introverted and I just don't have that need. It's not that I don't value relationships, I just don't need much.  I have said that it doesn't make sense to put the burden of making friends for the family on the introvert when the extrovert is more suited for the task.  He says it's a wife's job.  That feels sexist to me.  WIBTAH if I pointed that out to him? ######","completion":" NTA. It's not anyone's \"job,\" what the hell? If he wants friends he can make some himself like an adult, but after that response I can understand why that might be difficult for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and I (18F) have always had an extremely close relationship. Basically I have always talked to her about everything and she is someone I look to for guidance.  I started dating this guy (18M) at the beginning of college. My mom, being pretty religious, has always made it clear she wants me to wait until marriage to have sex. I agree with her on most things, but not this. I think it is my decision when I want to have sex and with whom.\n\nAnyway, I started taking birth control about a month ago because I planned on having sex with my boyfriend. But we got sent home from college so it never happened. But I’m still taking the birth control because we probably still will.\n\nAnyway, my mom saw my birth control and asked me if I’m having sex. I said no. She then accused me of lying for days. Eventually, we talked and she finally believed me when I told her I’m not yet but am planning to.\n\nThen she said that she would like to know when we do decide to so we can talk before hand, I know it’s just going to be her last attempt at trying to discourage me. I told her it’s my decision and she doesn’t need to know when and now she’s mad. AITA? Since it’s wouldn’t be any trouble for me to just tell her, but I don’t think it’s her business. ######","completion":" NTA. It's none of her business. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm not a native english speaker and my parents are immigrants. They don't speak the language fluently so whenever I'm talking to them on the phone I have to speak our native language. This however upsets some people, who for some reason feel uncomfortable about this.\n\nIn particular one of my ex-roommates told me that she was irritated by me speaking another language in our house and that it felt like I was shittalking her (which I have never done...I'm not the gossip-y type and I have more important things to talk to with my parents on the phone than my roommate).\n\nI tried avoiding this by going outside whenever I wanted to talk to my parents, but even then sometimes I couldn't go outside (it was raining or similar circumsances) and people outsidereacted even worse to me talking in another language on the phone (one guy insulted me and spit on the floor after hearing me talk on the phone).\n\nWhat am I supposed to do? I just see it as a private conversation with my parents...they're both nice people, just a bit old. ######","completion":" NTA. It's none of her business what you're talking about (whatever language) and how fucking self-centred do you have to be to worry that people are talking about you all the time? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a woman who changes her hair a lot, over the last two years I've had a short pixie cut, grown out to a more shaggy pixie cut. I've dyed it all sorts of colors.\n\nA few weeks ago, I was in desperate need of a haircut, I was on the edge of mullet-y. I had one booked then all the hairdressers closed up shop, I'm sure you can guess why.\n\nI tried to trim the back of my own hair with scissors and it was a mess. So I decided screw it, I'll buzz am undercut. I let my roommate try with his clippers, and honestly it looked terrible. He did an ok job but it just didn't work with my face shape, all that hair on top and none below gave me a mushroom-head. \n\nSo I told him, fuck it, buzz the whole thing. And I loved how it looked. \n\nI also bleached my short hair and dyed it pastel pink because I wanted to still look girly in some way.\n\nI love it so much.\n\nBut my boyfriend really didn't like it, he said he likes the feel of hair and thinks it will feel like \"touching a man\" \n\nAnd my parents lost it at me, they're afraid I'll never get another job, that I look like a lesbian, etc...\n\nI told them that I am happy with my job and not looking for another, and anyway I work in tech which is not really known for traditional formal dress.\n\nMy parents were still pissed though.\n\nA couple of my friends also think it was dumb of me and expect I'll regret it in a few days.\n\nAITA for buzzing my hair unexpectedly? ######","completion":" NTA. It's just hair.  It grows back.\n\nAlso, *you look like a lesbian*? Wtf is that about?  Assholes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own and run a webshop selling a food product. I started it in 2017. I also work a full-time job to sustain it - only this year do I stand to make an actual profit. I say that just so you know I'm not some greedy business owner who is rolling in dough.\n\nI have a generous refund policy for people who aren't satisfied, even if sometimes people abuse it. Yesterday a lady contacted me saying that she received and was charged for $22 worth of merchandise and that we must have stolen her info to purchase the product with her card, sending it to her.\n\nI looked at the details through our credit card processor. The order was placed using the same email address that the lady used to write from. FYI, for security reasons, the full credit card details aren't available to us - just the last 4.\n\nThe credit card processor captures the IP address for fraud analysis, and the IP address used to place the order was near the lady. The lady received an order confirmation plus 3 separate tracking updates, all to the same email she was contacting me from. The product was delivered about 10 days prior to her email claiming fraud.\n\nIt's very apparent that either 1) She is scamming and ordered it herself, or 2) someone in her household ordered it - someone with whom she is so close that she shares credit card and email info. Certainly I didn't steal her info, and it would be absurd if a stranger did that, as the product was sent to the lady using her own email. It's also possible that she has memory issues and has simply forgotten.\n\nI relayed the above info and asked her to please check with household members. I told her that if she confirms, I can send her a return label, whereas usually I would just refund without a hassle. I usually am quick to refund, but this just seems so flagrant.\n\nAITA for not just refunding her on the spot, and for suggesting that it's highly unlikely anyone but her (or someone in her household) deliberately purchased this? ######","completion":" NTA. It's hard to take a firm stance these days with people finger happy at a keyboard. You made the right choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I attend a university where community building &amp; bonding is extremely important. Everyone is family in a sense and we just love to have fun and help each other out. We have a ton of orgs on campus, and each org has a GroupMe account, so does most classes as students use them to share answers, asks questions and just talk. These GroupMe’s are also used to wish each other good luck, happy holidays and to campaign for on campus elections. For example, when I pledged my sorority I had several people in my GM chats congratulate me even though we’re not necessarily friends. It’s also not normal for people to wish each other a happy holiday. (Happy founders day, happy thanksgiving, happy St. Patty’s day and so forth) \n\nWell, this past Easter we had an issue where a Muslim student was really upset that people in her GroupMe chats had been wishing each other a happy Easter. She said it was extremely disrespectful to her and her religion and that she would leave each and every chat she was in because of it. Then she went on Instagram to further say that anyone who wished a happy Easter in a chat that she was in was disrespectful and should’ve known better. I was confused because while I am Christian I come from a dominantly Islamic family and I had never heard from any of them even the elders that something like this was an issue. She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays so we shouldn’t be wishing each other a happy Easter as it was a slap in the face for her. I really just don’t see it that way though. I know that no one would blink an eye if she was to say happy Ramadan or some other Muslim holiday. I wasn’t upset, just more annoyed with the social media and GroupMe tirade she went on. \n\nAITA for not seeing an issue with wishing people a happy Easter on GroupMe? ######","completion":" NTA. It's hard to believe that people like this actually exist.\n\n>She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays\n\nDoes she not understand that she's free to do so? ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I'm in high school and a few of my friends are Non-binary or trans and I try to be supportive, I have a good relationship with my parents and so I tell them a lot about my friends including referring to my friend (Let's call him Fred) who asked me to use they\/them pronouns by those pronouns, it confused my parents so I asked Fred if there was anything else they'd prefer to be called instead of they\/them and he blew up at me saying I outed them to my parents when my parents don't even know and that I was being disrespectful, I've never had any friends like Fred before the last year and it was never explained to me how to refer to them in front of my parents. A while back Fred sent me a post with no context saying that I was a horrible person and Fred says I'm horrible when he changes his name and pronouns and I don't use them because he didn't tell me that was what changed and I feel underappreciated. I want to continue to be friends with Fred, not only because I love hanging out with that friend group but also because I enjoy hanging out with Fred, so many of my other friends are telling me that Fred is toxic and I don't know what to do. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. It's good you referred to Fred by the chosen pronouns. It's good you refer to Fred by those pronouns when talking with others.  \n\n\nIt's important, obviously, not to out Fred to anyone. **However**, crucially, it's Fred's responsibility, not yours, to make the situation clear as to who knows about their gender, and who is not to know. If they give you a blanket statement on which pronoun applies to them, I think you're right to use that in all contexts if given no instructions otherwise.  \n\n\nObviously it sucks if that's led to them being outed. But that's a case of them accidentally outing themselves, not you outing them, and that's their own mistake. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. \n\nI'm getting married early next year. I've already chosen my bridesmaids who I love immensely and all of them excitedly agreed. A couple days ago, I called one of my bridesmaids to chat about the planning and I told her I'd chosen a color for the dress. She asked about the shoes and I said I didn't care if they wore heels or flats, I just preferred that they were beige to look uniform in the pictures. She was instantly upset. At first I thought she just didn't like that idea but she followed it up with the statement that \"black people don't wear beige.\" I was instantly confused. I've never heard that before.   \n\n\nI asked why not and what was wrong with beige and she responded  \"well obviously that's not 'skin tone' for ME.\" I tried explaining that I wasn't trying to match skin tone, I really just thought it looked nice with the dress. None of us (in the bridal party) have the same skin tone so I didn't even consider it \"matching\" anyone. When I explained that, she remained unconvinced. She also knows the other members so I pointed out that it wasn't their skin tones either but she insisted I didn't understand and was singling her out. We haven't spoken since. \n\nSo WITA (Was I The Asshole) for suggesting beige shoes for my bridesmaids. If I am out of touch, I apologize. I wasn't intending to offend. Because my bridesmaids have different skin tones, body types, heights and hair colors\/textures, I am trying to find a balance between being flexible enough that they feel comfortable and having them look like they are all part of the bridal party by looking somewhat uniform. I actually wasn't married to beige and honestly don't really care if they wear different color shoes, but now I'm just confused and I want to know if I messed up. Either way, I'm going to reach out to talk to her about it and (regardless of my ruling) apologize - at least for making her feel singled out. ######","completion":" NTA. It's beige shoes. You want them to have beige shoes. It's not like you told her \"skin colour shoes... You know a nice caucasian taupe\". It's just beige shoes. \n\nTalk to her more. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister and her BF recently bought vapes. She bought hers for her own money and I don't care that she's vaping. What I care about, though, is that she vapes in our room (we share a room). So we've gotten in an argument about her vaping here. I really hate the fake fruit smell and it's giving me a headache. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It's a shared space and you should feel comfortable in it. She's TA. Those headaches can turn into serious migraines if you have a chemical scent sensitivity and you should probably keep an eye on it, they aren't fun ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll keep this short and use fake names. Also I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.\n\nLily Jones (F27) is my best friend since pre-school. I've known her family since I was 5 years old. Her mom Linda (F51), her dad Joe (F53) and her two younger siblings. As far as I knew her parents were happily married and Lily adores both of them. Joe is a professor in a university.\n\nA couple of days ago, a co-worker (F32) put a picture of her and her parents in her whatsapp status with a short message about being her parents wedding anniversary. I was surprise to see that was Joe, aka Lily's dad but the wife in the picture was not Linda. I thought this may be a mistake, or just someone who looked an awful lot like him. So I message my co-worker and asked something like \"Your dad looks familiar, by any chance is he professor Joe Jones that works in x university, I think I attended one of his conferences\" and she confirmed it.\n\nAs far as I know (and I've known her since I was 5) Lily doesn't know she has any older sister or that her dad has any other family. And as far as I know her parents are married, so I'm really confused right now.\n\nI screenshot the conversation with my co-worker and her whatsapp status but I've been on the fence about sending this to Lily. Would I be the asshole if I send her this? ######","completion":" NTA. It's a confusing situation, but your friend should know what's going on and deserves the truth. They would probably be more mad if you kept it from them, I know I would be ######"}
{"prompt":" We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.\n\nMy GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning. \n\nI have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.\n\nSo the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.\n\nHer reasons for:\n\n* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain\n* GF is stressed &amp; tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing\n* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference\n* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)\n\nMy reason:\n\n* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage\n\nWe kind of agreed to continue the conversation  in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ######","completion":" NTA. It'd be inappropriate. She might as well ask literally anyone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"About six months ago I installed security cameras on my property. One indoors to monitor the baby's room and three outdoors: one facing the porch, one my backyard, and one my rear door. I have a hot tub by the rear door.\n\nHaving cameras facing front door or porch is pretty typical, right? People use Ring doorbells or what-have-you and don't think anything of it. Because I thought this was fairly standard for 2020, I didn't tell my friends. Whenever I entertained guests, it was always indoors where the only camera is somewhere a guest would never go. Something I should mention is I *never* let guests use my hot tub.\n\nBack in February I had to leave town for a few days and asked a friend to visit and let my dog out and feed her a few times a time. My friend lives only a block away and I compensated her for her time. Unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, apparently she used my hot tub. Not just her, but two friends of hers did as well. And, they decided to hot tub without clothing.\n\nIf it's not obvious, I don't check my cameras often unless there's a reason to. Neighbour told me the day prior that he saw someone get dropped off at my house while I went to do groceries, go into the backyard and then leave. So I wanted to see what they did.\n\nSo I have footage of a friend with two other women changing in front of my hot tub, hot tubbing for an hour or so, then leaving. I told my friend that I wish she had asked permission before using my hot tub and told her what I saw and she freaked out calling me a pervert. She says it's my responsibility to tell people I have cameras around my property, even if their usage is benign. \n\nShe wants to file charges against me for voyeurism. Sure, I watched the clip but only to see the extent of it and I deleted it after I was done with it. I counter that her friends were trespassing and I didn't permit use of my hot tub to begin with.\n\nAm I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. It wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't gone behind your back in the first place. It's a little weird to use your friend's hot tub without permission, naked. Not to mention inviting friends. She put herself in that situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) live with my parents and older brother. I’ll be honest - I do not like him. We do not get along. He’s annoying and intruding and loud and I could go on. I try to just ignore him. \n\nFor April fools day yesterday, as a “joke,” he decided to hide the pain medication I take to deal with my periods. I have horrible periods, especially the first couple days (which yesterday was) and the pain can be debilitating and make me cry if I don’t have the pain meds to help (even then, I still have pain, I’m just able to function).\n\nI basically couldn’t find them all day yesterday then this morning he gave them to me and said “April Fools!!” His prank was hiding this on me since I “relied on them so heavily and need to see I don’t need pain meds to get through the day.” He said that’s what I get for keeping the meds in the kitchen (which I do because they need to be taken with food and\/or water) \n\nI was fucking pissed. He saw me crying and wincing in pain and hid them from me? I told him to fuck off and that this would be the last conversation we’d have for a while. I’m ignoring him but he keeps texting me like “come on really?” And giving ME dirty looks in the hallway like I’m the one who did something wrong. \n\nMy parents are staying out of it as we’re both adults. They say f how I want to deal with is by ignoring him then it is what it is. \n\nAITA? I don’t think this was a joke. I think this is over the line. ######","completion":" NTA. It wasn’t a joke, and it was over the line. Your parents suck for acting like what he did was fine and needed to be worked out between you. He wants to act like a child, he should be treated like one. I loathe people like him who think he has the answer to everything and feels that he has the right to take action against someone’s will. I wouldn’t talk to him either, possibly ever again personally. If he offered a genuine and heartfelt apology I might consider it.\n\nI suggest finding someplace, preferably locked, that you can hide your medication since your AH brother wants to play thief and doctor. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I broke up a month ago and we met up to exchange each other’s belongings. I was with her for three years. \n\nOne of my things I had left at her’s accidentally was my necklace that belonged to my grandfather, valued around $600. I asked her several times to remember to bring it and she said she would. \n\nWe meet up and she completely forgets the necklace and even tells me she lost it. This is heart breaking because it has a lot of sentimental value and I haven’t lost any of her belongings. I beg for her to check her place again but she insists she lost it, it is gone. \n\nI asked her to front me $300 if she lost my necklace to help pay for a new one. I’m not expecting the full cost of the necklace. She says absolutely not, and that it’s tough luck she lost it. She said this makes me seem like a gold digger asking her for the cash. She comes from an extremely wealthy family ($300 is nothing) and I come from a lower middle class household. \n\nAITA for asking her to front the money for a sentimental item of mine SHE lost? ######","completion":" NTA. it wasn't just a necklace, it belonged to someone who meant a lot to you and asking for half the price to replace it is still a nice offer. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin had to make a delivery for work—8-10 hour drive or something like that. I told him he could crash at my place on his way back as it was about 4 hours closer than his house. When he got there, I told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen. He slept on the couch(I have a spare bed but that’s where he prefers I guess) and when I woke up the next morning for work he was surrounded by some trash and a few dirty dishes. \n\n\nI get home from work and there’s even more trash and dirty dishes surrounding him. I go to the kitchen and it’s been pretty much raided. All of my breakfast bowls(I had ) were gone, half the box of hot pockets was empty, both big bags of chips were eaten, 2 litre coke had barely any left, all of my oatmeal pies were gone(I only had 1), my box of protein waffles were gone, he even ate like 3 of my GF’s veggie burgers. \n\n\nHe was only here 1 night and 1 day! He arrived Thursday at around 10pm and left Friday at 5pm. Why did he need to eat that much??\n\n\nWhen I called him out he just said “dude what, you said I could eat anything” I said “yeah anything—not everything! I’m trying to limit my grocery store trips now I’ll have to go again this week. Come on dude, what the hell” he offered to give me money but I declined it. \n\n\nLater his mom called my mom and said when he got to her house  he was acting weird when she was asking about me. So my mom called me to ask for the details. I guess I pissed him off but was I really wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA. It wasn't cool for him to take everything. He should have respected your hospitality amd bought his own food if he was really that hungry. ######"}
{"prompt":"I imagine this is going to be a bit of an ESH, but here's the context:\n\nI have a nonbinary coworker, I'll call Ash, who unfortunately had their deadname printed on our weekly schedule for the first few weeks of their employment. They made it very clear to everyone they don't like to be referred to by it, and go by they\/them pronouns. I myself am trans (though not entirely out at work), so I'm pretty sensitive to people using the wrong name\/pronouns for someone.\n\nAnother coworker (Jessica) thought it was a great joke to annoy Ash by referring to them as their deadname and the wrong pronouns. Ash, as well as some others, had asked her to stop multiple times, she didn't. I got fed up, and started referring to Jessica as he\/him and by the wrong name. She was visibly annoyed whenever I did it, but nothing ever came of it and she has since been fired for unrelated reasons.\n\nThining back on it, I do feel kinda shitty about it as one of my positions is that a person doesn't need to *earn* the right to be referred to by the correct name\/pronoun, and I feel like I compromised my ethics on this. ######","completion":" NTA. It was very insensitive of Jessica to do that. And it wasn't that cruel on your part to give her a taste of her own. I feel like it was more of a lesson to show her what it really feels like to be treated that way. A lesson she really needed to learn. I wouldn't let it bother you. I'm sure Ash appreciated someone sticking up for them. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for reporting my car stolen. A lot of things happened so I'm going to try to summarize. Long story short my brother in law has been in and out of jail most of his life. He has had his driver's license suspended due to multiple running from the law and driving under the influence. He seemed to be wanting to turn a new leaf in his life and has had \"bad luck \". I was willing to loan him my car with rules. They are as followed. He was not to drive his girlfriend was to drive him everywhere. They where to help keep up the car. And finally they where to not to smoke in it. They also lived with us for about a year. During this year neither one of them held a job for more than a couple of months. Would isolate themselves until they wanted to \"borrow\" money. Also the car would reek of cigarettes and the seats be so nasty you couldn't tell what color they were.  It all came to a head when they went MIA in my car for two months. I asked them for my car and It was a lame excuse as why they couldn't have it back I also received in this time tickets from another state over. I told them to have my car back a week ago or I was going to report it. Still nothing. The police called today and my car was on the other side of the state ( three and a half hours away.) Am I the asshole for calling the law  and reporting my car stolen. ######","completion":" NTA. It was stolen. Do not let these people back in your home. ######"}
{"prompt":"For some background: I get free lunch at school and because of the situation i got sent a card in my name to purchase food. My sister is 21 and works.\n\nToday i got a card in my name (addressed specifically to me not to my parents\/ guardian). My mom was talking to my grandma and brought it up and told me to bring it. I got the card and my mom says “im gonna give it to her sister”. I didn’t say anything and waited until she was done.\n\nI asked her why she was going to give it to my sister and she said so my sister can eat. I told her that because it was my card she wasn’t giving it to anyone. She proceeded to call me egotistical and take the card from me.\n\nSo AITA for not wanting my card given to my sister? ######","completion":" NTA. It was sent to you for your use alone. OP, do you have enough to eat without this card? ######"}
{"prompt":"For some background: I get free lunch at school and because of the situation i got sent a card in my name to purchase food. My sister is 21 and works.\n\nToday i got a card in my name (addressed specifically to me not to my parents\/ guardian). My mom was talking to my grandma and brought it up and told me to bring it. I got the card and my mom says “im gonna give it to her sister”. I didn’t say anything and waited until she was done.\n\nI asked her why she was going to give it to my sister and she said so my sister can eat. I told her that because it was my card she wasn’t giving it to anyone. She proceeded to call me egotistical and take the card from me.\n\nSo AITA for not wanting my card given to my sister? ######","completion":" Nta. It was sent to you because you qualify for it. Your mom is committing fraud if she gives it to your sister ######"}
{"prompt":" so this story opened about 6 or 7 months ago, I was on vacation with my GF and we stayed at a hotel.  \none morning when I woke up I went to the self-serve buffet to take my breakfast, when I was making my coffee my Gf came and asked me if I can make her one as well,  I said sure thing, I decided to to do a fancy kind of coffee (coffee with flower drawn with cream and a little coffee powder on the cup wall), when I finished it, I gave it to my GF and made my regular coffee, at that moment I noticed a woman standing behind me (it took me a little bit time to make the coffee) so I said sorry for blocking your way, and stepped aside, the women saw me making the coffee ask me to make her one, I did exactly what she asked me for (can you make me one cup of coffee please), when I handed it to her she looked at me with that look like are you serious look and then she said you just made a fancy coffee for that woman why didn't you make one for me, I told her that the women was my GF and wanted to do something special for her and that you asked me to make you one cup of coffee so I did, she then told me to make her a fancy cup of coffee, at that moment I told her to have a nice day and went to sit with my GF who was waiting for me. \n\n the question is was I the asshole for not making a fancy coffee for her ######","completion":" NTA. It was an unreasonable request. You already obliged her coffee and you are not a barista, no reason why she cannot make her coffee the way she wanted it to be done. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my mother spent money she didn't have, couldn't pay rent and is now living with me and my wife. She wanted to pay me rent while she lives with us, but I said she didn't have to so she could pay her debt and get a place of her own sooner. So she said she would be cleaning the house to compensate, I said she didn't need to as I've been doing it for years just fine. She insisted, I gave up trying to argue.\n\nOne of the reasons I didn't want her to clean the house is because she is too perfectionist when it comes to that, everything has to be shining. Me and my wife don't mind a little mess every once in a while. Another thing I hated while growing up living with my mother is that she has a habit of changing the furniture out of places, but that wasn't much more than a mild inconvenience then; but now it's just being an asshole, since my wife is blind.\n\nEven thought I expected it to be clear, I explicitly told my mother that she wasn't supposed to change anything out of place since my wife was used to things being where they were and that's how she navigated around the house.\n\nIt started with the trash can in the kitchen, then the sofa, then the fridge and finally yesterday she cause my wife to trip and bruise her knee by moving the dinner table a few inches.\n\nI told my mother that I  finally had enough and if she couldn't keep up with the rules at my house she would have to go. I talked to my wife later and she says I went too far and would be an asshole if I kicked out my mother. Wife says she doesn't mind it as it was just a bruise. I think it was just a bruise now, next time could be a broken arm. ######","completion":" Nta. It was a very simple very important request. Her behavior put your wife in danger. This time it's a bruised knee next time she could hit her head on the coffee table. What if she had hot coffee in her hands. It's unacceptable and your wife has every right to be safe in her own home. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father has recently gotten in touch with his sisters after some long family conflict that they finally resolved. I (16f) got bad vibes from my aunt (Linda) as soon as I met her. She seemed to overstep her boundaries- immediately she asked me what I wanted to be when I got older, I told her a dermatologist and she said “you don’t seem the type to be cut out for that, are you sure?”\n\nThe next time I saw her, I made brownies for a party and she then told me they could “use a little less time in the oven.” She then had a conversation with me and asked about my school life. I told her I had a 4.0 GPA, was 22 in my class out of 650, and that I was doing pretty well in AP classes. She went, “well, my daughter (Sarah we will call her) wasn’t very smart, but she is an entrepreneur now so it’s obvious her work is still very important and you don’t have to be school smart. It’s not that big of a deal.” I felt this invalidated my hard work. She told me that I couldn’t have a political option because I was 16 after she asked if I supported Trump and I said no. \n\nAll this would seem to make me be NTA, until this. My dad was on Zoom with Linda with me in the room, and Linda was talking about Sarah’s entrepreneurship. I had went on Sarah’s Facebook, where she had been consistently posting photos of her at her McDonald’s job, clearly not an entrepreneur. She was like “OP, I hope you’ll be as successful was Linda some day.” I said “I’m sorry, Linda, but please F off. Your daughter is not an entrepreneur, she works at McDonald’s.”\n\nMy mother thought the interaction was quite funny, but my dad is pissed and refuses to talk to me ######","completion":" NTA. it was a little harsh but you called her on lying and that’s okay. your aunt doesn’t get to constantly compare you to her daughter and act like her daughters better. most of all she can’t tell you her daughters better because of a lie ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been applying to jobs for a bit now. Recently, I had a Zoom interview for a position in my town. The listing said nothing about commuting or going to another office.\n\nDuring the interview, the interviewer said “So I know the ad said the job was in x town, but it’s really in y town. Would that be a problem?” That town is an hour and a half away from me one way. I would not have applied for the position and have my location range on the job site set for a certain way. I said “Well, yes. I assumed it was for your x office since you put that town on your ad.” They said “Yes but we wanted more applicants. I personally travel between all of our offices often.” \n\nGood for him, but a 3 hour daily commute would not work for me. I told him I could work for x office if there was a position available. Interview ended not long after.\n\nI went to the online job board I applied on and reported the job for being misleading. It was removed the next day. My husband says I overreacted by having it removed. I think it’s unprofessional to do that. Was I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It was 100% misleading, and intentionally so at that. I wouldn't be surprised if multiple interviewees reported it. I know I would (and in my dream world, would end the interview with \"You've wasted my time, I will be reporting your posting for false information, goodbye.\") In this job market if they can't get applicants with accurate information, they need to step up their recruiting, not trick already stressed unemployed people.\n\nBest of luck on your job search, I'm off to get back to mine. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m at a loss here, and wondering if I’m being gaslit or if I’m a total asshole. \n\nMy sister is 16 and I’m 19. When my sister was 7 she begged for a dog, and my parents got her one. When he was no longer little and cute, she wanted nothing to do with him. \n\nI’m not even a dog person, but I stepped up to care for him. He became my best friend. I went through serious bouts of depression and he was there for me. Long story short, I took care of him entirely by myself, my sister was only there for the occasional play time and belly rub. \n\nWhen he got sick a few months ago, and I learned that he would have to be put down, I saved money to get some cremation jewelry made. I got a necklace and an anklet. \n\nI am having extremely difficult time dealing with his passing, I’m still raw about it.\n\nMy sister, who never cared about him, is walking around moping, and crying and being attention seeking. She’s posting all about it on social media, and everyone is falling over themselves to comfort her. She is demanding some of the cremation jewelry. I feel like she just wants to show it off online. \n\nI have told her no, and she went to our parents. They are saying that I have to give her the jewelry. They gave me a long speech guilting me about it. They said that he was technically her dog, she has a right to the jewelry and to remember him. I’m being called selfish for not giving her one of the pieces. \n\nMy family and I have been fighting about this. My parents point out my sisters crying, and “depressed behavior” to try to guilt me into giving her either the necklace or the anklet. I want both of them. I paid for them. I see my sister being sad and I can’t tell if I’m being gaslit or if I’m denying her closure by not giving her the jewelry. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. It was *technically* her dog, but it’s also *technically* your jewelry as you are the one who paid for it.\n\nIf you think they would get to a point of kicking you out(and by no means anything less) demand 4x what you paid.\n\nNot only that but why didn’t she just get jewelry made herself. Not to sound crass but there are a lot of ashes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother asked for divorce Then proceeded a 4 month campaign to gaslight her about why. My SIL was blindsided. My SIL is not English fluent and has no real friends or family here and hadn’t worked. Over the four months after he demanded divorce he sweet talked her into meeting his lawyer in the hopes to have her sign papers with out offering fair terms for separation or representation. She was going to do it. My brother cheated on my SIL and only admitted to the affair after lying to everyone and learning that my SIL has proof. Then COVID shut down now she’s ‘trapped’ here. I chose to help her cause no one else in my family would. My other siblings agree he did some thing wrong but they are on his side. They are all narcissistic in their own way and my older sibling is actually going through the same situation with her SO but in reverse. (ie they are the cheater) my brother spent his life telling us he’d never be like our dad, cheating lying, and victimizing women over money. That used to be the biggest insult you could call him. Now when my SIL points that out he laughs in her face. Now my selfish siblings have sided with him andI think it will break our family entirely. \nI never felt My siblings ever treated me with respect or regard. They are all childless and  do better than me financially, abandoned me to take care of my aging parents alone, and only call to hear about how ‘shitty’ my life is cause (I’m not rich and raising kids is hard sometimes) or unload their emotional baggage when they feel bad. When the line got drawn in the sand I chose to help. I resolved that I’ll have to be ok with putting this final nail in the coffin of our relationship. But I chose to help the vulnerable over family. When it’s all done and she moves out of my house and flies home. I will have an empty bedroom and my children will have no aunts and uncles. AITA ######","completion":" NTA. It sucks that your relatives are like this. But remember, relatives doesn’t automatically equal family and it seems like you are a good person doing the right thing. Your SIL is very lucky to have family like you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short. \nI befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally. \nI sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:\n1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.\n2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car. \n3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.\n4. Started talking bad about my relationship\n5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah. \n\nI stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis. \n\nI felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.\nThe next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly. \nI told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.\n\nI felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds to me as though someone higher up ordered HR to change tack and protect your coworker over you. Disclosing your complaint to your coworker was self evidently going to make for a very uncomfortable working environment, especially given the fact that he had already shown a willingness to behave in an unprofessional way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(25f) got married this past fall. One of the guests was a friend I was close to in high school but we aren’t as close now. She is really good friends with one of my bridesmaids and we still hung out occasionally. She also invited me to her wedding a couple years before. So I invited her to mine.\n\nThis friend has a photography\/wedding planning business but it hasn’t really taken off yet. During my wedding I saw she had her camera but I didn’t pay too much attention to what she was doing. She didn’t get in the way of the photographer so it wasn’t as issue. \n\nA couple days after the wedding my husband and I were tagged in photos. She had posted pictures from the wedding with her watermark on them. One of the pictures was a candid shot of the flower girl. One of the groomsmen (father of flower girl) wrote a comment saying that she did well with his daughter and the friend wrote back that she wasn’t the photographer of the wedding and just a friend. He called my husband and asked if we could talk to her about taking down the picture of his daughter since she wasn’t the photographer and never asked permission to take his daughter’s picture let alone post it to promote her business. \n\nI ended up PMing her and asked if she could take down all the pictures. I told her it was a nice gesture taking pictures but she didn’t ask and I didn’t feel right she was using them to promote her business. I also told her I didn’t feel comfortable she posted a picture of a minor without permission. To be honest I wasn’t a fan of the pictures and they were heavily edited but I didn’t tell her that. She did not take it well. She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend. She did take the pictures down and then blocked me. We haven’t spoken since. \n\nThis happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them. \n\nSo I was curious, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds to me as if she used your wedding as a way to build her portfolio, clearly without your knowledge or permission. She overstepped boundaries then got her feelings hurt when you didn’t appreciate her photography you never asked for. She needs to learn that feelings must be left at the door in business matters. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7. \n\nMy SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.\n\nThe problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should \"keep looking\" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems. \nWhen we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her. \nWe haven't met her boyfriend\/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to. \n\nI was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.\nHe said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.\n\nHowever, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).\n\nSo WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like your SIL would be oh so happy if you didn’t go, if only so she can play the victim. She’s been rude to you for years, so I don’t know why she’d even expect you to go. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, quick bit of context, I've been babysitting my little brother for years (I have severe anxiety and used it as an excuse to avoid social situations), so my mom could go to work. But as I got older I learned to better deal with my anxiety but found myself not having much of a social life as I'm still expected to babysit (for free) most days (he's turning into a spoiled little brat as well which is difficult to deal with sometimes). Whenever I mention going out with my friends (before lockdown started) I'd get his with the same response \"you need to make sure it's my day off or you're not going\" or \"you can go but you need to home that night.\" \n\nRecently I got into college which starts in a couple of months and I've been trying to get a job so I can work on moving out and buy the supplies I need for college but my mom keeps talking about how she'll have to quit her job if I stop babysitting and keeps bringing up my anxiety, telling me \"if it's as bad as you're claiming it is then you wouldn't be able to work with people. You aren't exactly a people person.\" It's making me feel like crap but I need a job to support myself and get myself through college. My brother is a little terror and I'm losing sleep because of the stress he causes when I have to look after him. WIBTA if I tell my mum to find a different babysitter so I can focus on my future and my mental health? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like your mom is actively trying to sabotage you so she gets free childcare for...ever?\n\nIf you need someone to tell you what your mom *should* have told you: you can do this. You can get a job, and you can save for the supplies you need. You've done a stellar job of learning to manage your anxiety, and I'm really impressed that you have the confidence to aim for college. I know you'll make friends, develop new skills and build an amazing future for yourself. It will be the making of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"This wasn't really an issue until lockdown, when friends\/flatmates' bfs moved in with us and we went from 3 people (out most of the time) to 6 people (in all of the time) with only 1 bathroom. \n\nI like long showers. Most days I'm in the bathroom for 20-25 minutes (from entering to exiting). Once a week I wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave, meaning I can be in the bathroom for up to 40 minutes. Because of this I avoid peak times (mornings and when everyone's getting ready for bed) and check if anyone needs in the bathroom before i go, either in person or a message on the group chat.\n\nThe problem is my flatmates bf has very short showers so thinks im extremely excessive. A few times now he has been out walking\/running\/cycling and is desperate for the toilet when he gets back. His gf has had to knock on the door and ask me to hurry up because he needs the toilet. I do then get out asap and shout that it's now free. \n\nHowever they (flatmate and her bf) think I am being an AH for maintaining my \"excessive showers\" when there are now so many of us sharing. I really enjoy my long showers and have already stopped showering before bed to try and ease congestion. I don't think it's that unreasonable in my own flat but feel kind of bad if it's causing major problem, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like your flatmate’s bf should use the toilet\/shower wherever he pays the rent. ######"}
{"prompt":"I \\[30M\\] live with two roommates - Kate \\[32\\] and Sean \\[27\\].\n\nSean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \\[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme. \n\nHow obvious? He has the diagram of the \"company's model\" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for \"membership\" in his \"business\", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his \"business\". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were \"wrong about it\" and \"don't know anything\". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making \"business calls\", complained about not having money, etc.\n\nYesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a \"business call\" \\[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly \"Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?\". Without thinking, I replied \"Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes\".\n\nSean got furious, and started ranting about how he's \"disappointed\" with me not \"fact-checking\" \\[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\\], and for not \"supporting him\", and how he \"expected better\" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.\n\nI can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like you're trying to protect him from getting further taken advantage of, but this is apparently not a truth he is interested in hearing. Poor guy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex wife and I have a thirteen year old son. He’s deathly afraid of thunderstorms and has been since he was little. The other night, when he was over at my house, a huge storm rolled in. He wound up sleeping with me that night because it was the only way he’d calm down. \n\nWhen he went to his mother’s house a few days later, I got a call from her. She asked me how he did with the storm, then got onto me for sleeping with him. She told me that it’s okay to tuck him in whenever there’s a storm, but sleeping with him will make him soft. \n\nI tried to tell her that it was the only way he would calm down, but she wouldn’t listen. She literally wouldn’t let me talk, she just kept shushing me. After a few minutes of this, I blew up. I cussed her out for about 5 minutes, I finished the call, saying that I can comfort him however he wants. \n\nI’ve never done that to her before and I feel extremely bad. I was just mad that she went out of her way to tell me what to do at my house. ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like she's raising him with a lot of toxic ideas about masculinity. You should seriously discuss with your son about what sorts of things your ex thinks \"men are\" or \"men should do\" or \"men should be.\" Alternate boys as needed. ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to crochet and knit, and it's best to have specific yarn scissors. Mine are really good and I love them, it's so satisfying to snip the yarn. Because they are made specifically for yarn, if you use them on other materials, like paper, cardboard, etc, it will damage and blunt them.\n\nMe and my two brothers (who actively ensure they know nothing of fibercrafts) were sat watching a film together. I like to crochet while watching TV as it keeps my hands occupied, while my brother prefers to fiddle with whatever's around. My bag crochet equipment was on the sofa next to us, and he took my scissors out to fiddle with. I told him not to because they are very sharp and he could hurt someone or damage them. He gave them back and I put them in the bag.\n\nLater on, I needed the loo so left the room. When I came back, he had taken the scissors out of the bag, and was cutting up a piece of cardboard (a tetley's tea box, if anyone's interested). I was really annoyed and told him to stop and give me my scissors. Even after me explaining that yarn scissors are not for cardboard or paper, he is adamant that he didn't do anything wrong. I think he's in the wrong because they're my scissors, I specifically asked him not to use them, the cardboard did not need cutting up, and him doing so damaged my property! Both my brothers think I'm overreacting and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is now winding me up by saying that he will use my scissors to cut some cardboard again. I just want him to apologise and not do it again! ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like he’s intentionally antagonizing you to get your attention. The fact that he waited for you to leave before going in to your bag suggests he knows that he’s doing something wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######","completion":" NTA. it sounds like he's trying to guilt you into giving him more money than it was worth. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI was on an online meeting when he came back from grocery shopping. Came into the bedroom to give me a kiss. I move because it was not professional. He got mad and slammed the door. Coffee break I come out and we get into a fight where he basically tells me that it's useless what I do for a living. I get mad and go back to work. Bf comes on again to apologize WHILE I am trying to listen to a progress report that is essential to what I need to do. I mute the call and tell him to gtfo. He is all pouty. After work I come out and am already livid at that point. Bf wants to start the fight all over again and I tell him that I need time to cool down if we want to have a discussion and not a fight. He tells me we should settle things then and there. I say not of you don't want me to get nasty. I leave to our roommates room who is currently back home. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday at 10 pm. He called me an asshole this morning for giving him a childish silent treatment.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It sounds like he has poor boundaries and low self control. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for telling my sister her bf sucks\nSo my sister (20) and I(24) are roommates and she started dating her bf (24) about a year ago. Sister and I have always been close and when she got a boyfriend I was excited to get to know him, but every time we met he was standoffish and would just go to my sisters room. I brushed it off as social awkwardness and didn’t press it. So in a year we’ve had a handful of conversations (again he doesn’t seem to want to get to know me and I didn’t mind). Recently I went on a 2 hour trip with sister, her bf and her bf’s friends. On the trip him and his friends started to saying extremely racist and homophobic things, which really upset me. After this continued on for a while I finally asked them to stop, which turned into a tangent on how I can’t handle the facts. My sister seemed equally irratated but it seemed she let it go by the next day, I however was still horrified. Anyways two days later we meet again I try being cordial and he just insults me, and my sister did not stand up to him so I told him he was being rude and he should leave. He leaves and my sister turns on me for being a “bitch” and being sensitive. I said he has a place why don’t you hang out there, because I don’t feel comfortable with him being around the way he’s been acting (not to mention he constantly has a g*n on him in our house). Next day he’s back and refuses to acknowledge me and I here them complaining about me in her room which obviously hurts my feelings. So after he leaves I confront her about him being so racist and homophobic and rude  and making me all around uncomfortable and she turns it into a screaming match, essentially saying what do I want her to do. Anyways I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut regarding the situation as it seems to have made things worse and I don’t want to fight with my sister but i don’t want to see her end up with someone who is obviously a bad dude. ######","completion":" NTA. It seems your sister is being a bit naive, if he's like this toward you, and her reaction tells me perhaps he could be manipulative or even emotionally abusive towards your sister behind closed doors. I would have reacted the same toward them being racist and homophobic, sounds like he was showing his ass in front of his friends, and it deserved to be confronted and shut down. ######"}
{"prompt":"Husband *has* to make a comment about anything I watch. Sitcom on? \"Ew, I hate her hair.\" Historical video, \"what are you watching?\" Only for him to leave or interrupt within five seconds of me beginning to explain it. Watching a dog training video? \"That's not how you train the dogs.\" He made fun of Frozen 2 relentlessly while our kids were watching. Thankfully the oldest has learned to tune him out, so nobody but me minded.   \n\n\nWe have half a dozen screens in the home, so if he doesn't want to watch what's on my TV (I almost exclusively watch in our upstairs living room and we have two TVs downstairs and he has his own man cave with a gigantic computer monitor) he has the option to leave. I'm so sick of his pessimism at anything I'm watching that I'll pause my show or put on some comedy that you don't need dozens of episodes to understand what the heck is going on.   \n\n\nSo, once again, AITA here? He makes it seem like I am vastly overreacting and that I should take his comments in stride. ######","completion":" NTA. It seems you're husband is just being obnoxious and rude and tries to make it seem like you're overreacting. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife and I married in 2007. We had our first child in 2010 and our second child in 2013. Fast forward 5 years in July 2018 and we begun separation proceedings.\n\nI left the house in Feb 2019 and we'd been working with couple therapists and then  \n a mediator for an amicable separation. We signed off on a separation agreement in December 2019.\n\nTonight, we had agreed that my daughter would spend the next 3 days with me and   \nmy son would stay with her. I had given him a dumbphone with some credit in case he needed to contact me. He texts me begging me to pick him up.\n\nSo I ring my wife twice and text her wondering what the story is, no answer, so I drive over to   \ncollect my son. At this stage, not wanting to drive off with him without her knowledge, and also to make sure she's OK, I ring the police. They show up, somehow speak to her. They ascertain she was too drunk and they say my son will stay me until tomorrow. I ask them if I did the right thing, they reply \"Yes 100%\".\n\nThey're going to open a case and refer her to a Child Protection Agency.\n\nJust as I drove off, she storms out of the house and gives the finger, swears at me and banged on the car as I drove off. The kids are in shock and don't want to stay with her again.\n\nI don't want to destroy her life. I want things to work but I've had enough. AITA for calling the police on her? ######","completion":" NTA. It seems like your kids dont feel safe staying with her, and i think that tells all. It's not like she got mad at your son so he asked you to pick him up. He asked cause he didnt feel safe with her. Police intervention is probably a good thing if you're children are uncomfortable staying with her, and since the police told you it was the right move I assume theres a valid case against her having custody ######"}
{"prompt":"I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons\/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc. \nThings were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it. \nSo one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for. \nSince then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It seems like you said it as nicely as you could and even took an interest in her religion\/were respectful of it until she started pushing it on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My eldest son and his wife got married a few years ago. Initially, they moved out of state after their wedding for my son’s work. Then things went downhill. My DIL got pregnant and quit her job to be a SAHM. Shortly after the baby was born, however, my son lost his job as well. Their savings drained quickly and it was too expensive to live in their state. My wife and I said they could live with us while they got back on their feet, on the condition that both got jobs. This was 2 years ago and they’ve lived with us ever since. Both work and while they don’t pay rent, they cover all their own expenses, along with the baby’s.\n\nRecently, however, they told us that they were planning on having a second child. My wife and I said if they wanted a second child, they had to move out. We love our grandchild but we don’t want another baby in the house. And to me, if they can afford another child, they can afford to move out. They said we can’t tell them whether or not they can have another baby. I said if they’re living in our house, I absolutely can. \n\nMy wife and I still have two other kids living at home. My other son is a single parent as well and has a child (4) who lives here full time. He has no plans of having more kids and is close to moving out (would’ve sooner but with the shutdowns it messes up his search). We can’t have another kid around here. \n\nAre we being assholes here? ######","completion":" NTA. It seems like they might be counting on you for free childcare in addition to free rent--that's too much to ask. And honestly, 2nd baby or not, 2 years is more than enough time to get back on their feet and get their own place. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my(16) dad(42) asked me if I wanted to go out onto the lake with him on the boat.  I said no thank you, and he got upset.  At this point it's understandable.\n\nI don't like the water, and I don't care for boating.  It's not my kinda thing.  But he's been giving me a bit of silent treatment and isn't really saying anything to me.  He seems to want space or something of the sort, so I haven't said much either.\n\nJust a few minutes ago, my sister told me she wanted to hang out with me, -she's with my dad-.  So I say sure and head out there.  It's all chill and we start watching TV.  My dad asks me about taking care of the animals, and that's when it goes downhill.  He asked me if I knew he was upset with me, and I said yes.  He then asked why I thought that.  I assumed it was because of the refusal to go out on the boat with him.  \n\nHe said it was never about the boat, it was about spending time with him.  Then, he said that it sucks that he has to make his kids spend time with him, and said that he does what I want, even if he doesn't like it, and that he does everything for me.  I can't remember any scenarios like that, I don't do much besides stay at home.  It made me feel shitty and I don't know how to really feel.\n\n  He continued then asked me, \"How do we fix this?\"  I told him we could find something to do.  He then said, \"What if I don't want to hang out with you?\"  I said that it was fine, and that I can't force him to.  He asked if I could accept that, I said, \"I guess.\"\n\nHe then stepped outside for some air, more upset, and I have no idea what just happened, nor what to do.  So I just went to my room.\n\n  I love hanging out with him, but the boat isn't fun and I'm not ready for the water.  I feel like I should go, but I feel like we could do other stuff instead.  Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It seems like he's feeling left out or unloved. I would let him cool down for a few days then offer to hang out with him. Maybe suggest a hike or something like that where you can still be outside, but it's not on the water. A lot of the time dads feel like their kids aren't there for them, but in reality dads are so busy that they don't have any spare time to put towards their kids. Definitely offer to hang out with him. It might help your relationship ######"}
{"prompt":"I own and run a webshop selling a food product. I started it in 2017. I also work a full-time job to sustain it - only this year do I stand to make an actual profit. I say that just so you know I'm not some greedy business owner who is rolling in dough.\n\nI have a generous refund policy for people who aren't satisfied, even if sometimes people abuse it. Yesterday a lady contacted me saying that she received and was charged for $22 worth of merchandise and that we must have stolen her info to purchase the product with her card, sending it to her.\n\nI looked at the details through our credit card processor. The order was placed using the same email address that the lady used to write from. FYI, for security reasons, the full credit card details aren't available to us - just the last 4.\n\nThe credit card processor captures the IP address for fraud analysis, and the IP address used to place the order was near the lady. The lady received an order confirmation plus 3 separate tracking updates, all to the same email she was contacting me from. The product was delivered about 10 days prior to her email claiming fraud.\n\nIt's very apparent that either 1) She is scamming and ordered it herself, or 2) someone in her household ordered it - someone with whom she is so close that she shares credit card and email info. Certainly I didn't steal her info, and it would be absurd if a stranger did that, as the product was sent to the lady using her own email. It's also possible that she has memory issues and has simply forgotten.\n\nI relayed the above info and asked her to please check with household members. I told her that if she confirms, I can send her a return label, whereas usually I would just refund without a hassle. I usually am quick to refund, but this just seems so flagrant.\n\nAITA for not just refunding her on the spot, and for suggesting that it's highly unlikely anyone but her (or someone in her household) deliberately purchased this? ######","completion":" NTA. It seems fishy to me that she contacted you like hey I need a refund this is fraud. The one time I got my card info stolen, I obviously needed a new card number and I wasn't going to wait for a refund to process before getting my new card. So I had to hop through all these hoops with my bank to get my refund.\n\nYour return policy is clear but she also didn't approach you going hey I ordered a wrong thing. Can I get a return label and refund.\n\nShe came to you claiming fraud. ######"}
{"prompt":"The title may sound bad, but please hear me out.\n\nI recently started living with my fiancé, and he has an 12-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. From what Iʼve seen, she has a very loving and close bond with her mom. Theyʼre always texting, calling each other, always smiling and hugging, etc. and I donʼt think itʼs my place to intervene in that. Itʼs pretty clear to me that she already has a good maternal figure in her life and she never expressed wanting another. To put it in simpler terms, I donʼt want her to think that Iʼm trying to replace her mom and I donʼt want to replace her mom either (since she doesnʼt need or want that). \n\nOf course, I care about her and love her, but Iʼm sure her mom loves her 100 times as much. As weʼre all going to be living together now, weʼre getting to know each other better, and she asked me if she was supposed to think of me as a mom. I told her that even though I do care about her, she already has a much more special bond with her mom, that I wonʼt be able to replicate that, and that she probably wonʼt love me as much as her no matter how close we get (I wasnʼt as blunt \/ descriptive as this). So, I ended it with saying that she should think of me as more of a really involved aunt than a mom.\n\nShe told me that she was completely fine with that, and didnʼt really seem to care. My fiancé overheard this, and later confronted me saying that I was being a jerk by saying all of those things, and that I “basically said I did not want to be involved in her life” (even though thatʼs not what I meant, itʼs more about *her* feelings about me coming into her life rather than *my* feelings about coming into hers). AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It makes sense and it should be fine if she is fine with it. There would probably be a lot of mothers that wouldn't like it if the stepmom tried to replace them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m Indian, Gujarati to be precise. Like all Indians my regional food is a point of pride for me and although I’m 2nd gen American I still love my homelands foods. \n\nMy wife is American and our kids our obviously half white half Indian. I’ve never taken an active interest in cooking Asian foods before but all of a sudden I have time on my hands and I miss my parents so decided to reconnect with the culture and start to cook for myself. \n\nAnyhow I always clean up etc and use the regular old dishes and pots and pans, but my wife absolutely hates the smell of Indian food and says that not only does it stink but that my food is staining the dishes because I use a lot of turmeric \/ haldi. \n\nShe says that our kids find that food too spicy (7 and 8) and that it’s upsetting their stomachs if I give them that food. I have heard 0 complaints from the kids although they do find it a bit spicy but as a kid I ate it and it’s fine, they eat their food with a glass of milk and lots of roti and it turns out ok. \n\nAnyway she has asked me to stop cooking and says it’s not fair considering the dishes are stained and that she thinks it’s gross. I said no problem we can just buy new dishes. She said well it stinks. I said it doesn’t smell any more than other food AND we have the range hood that sucks up a lot of smells etc. \n\nShe also says she has to scrub at the dishes to get the stains out - I personally don’t see any yellow stains otherwise I would do it but she apparently does. \n\nAnyway I told her it’s important to me and my culture, and I want the kids to experience it too. she rolled her eyes at me and said it’s just a phase and I need to be mindful cuz we are all at home together. She is usually incredibly respectful of our cultural \/ ethnic differences so idk if I’m being the asshole here or not. ######","completion":" NTA. it kinda sounds like she's just making a new thing to to contradict each solution or positive thing you say about it? plus saying \"it's a phase\" to want to share your culture with your own kids is super messed up ######"}
{"prompt":"This wasn't really an issue until lockdown, when friends\/flatmates' bfs moved in with us and we went from 3 people (out most of the time) to 6 people (in all of the time) with only 1 bathroom. \n\nI like long showers. Most days I'm in the bathroom for 20-25 minutes (from entering to exiting). Once a week I wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave, meaning I can be in the bathroom for up to 40 minutes. Because of this I avoid peak times (mornings and when everyone's getting ready for bed) and check if anyone needs in the bathroom before i go, either in person or a message on the group chat.\n\nThe problem is my flatmates bf has very short showers so thinks im extremely excessive. A few times now he has been out walking\/running\/cycling and is desperate for the toilet when he gets back. His gf has had to knock on the door and ask me to hurry up because he needs the toilet. I do then get out asap and shout that it's now free. \n\nHowever they (flatmate and her bf) think I am being an AH for maintaining my \"excessive showers\" when there are now so many of us sharing. I really enjoy my long showers and have already stopped showering before bed to try and ease congestion. I don't think it's that unreasonable in my own flat but feel kind of bad if it's causing major problem, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It isn’t his home - it’s yours. You are being considerate and 25 minutes in off-peak times doesn’t sound very excessive to me at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m ¼ Japanese and ¾ British\/French\/German. My husband is Scottish\/British. We’re expecting our first daughter together early fall and recently got into an impasse about names. \n\nI wanted my daughter’s middle name to be my Japanese grandmother’s name - Miyoko. Not only did I think the name was beautiful and flowed really nicely with the first name we have chosen for her, I wanted to honour my grandmother, who I had a very close relationship but sadly passed away three years ago. She was the one who taught me a bit of Japanese and how to cook her family recipes, I’m very proud of this part of my heritage and intend to pass this along to my daughter. \n\nHowever, my husband is saying that naming our daughter, who will very likely not look Japanese is culture appropriation. (I disagree with culture appropriation because our daughter will be part Japanese, even though it’s only ⅛  - maybe I’m wrong so please correct me if I am!) Also, he said it would be cruel to give her such a foreign sounding name when she clearly won’t look the part and perhaps other kids might make fun of her for that. \n\nNow, the last thing I want is to give my daughter a name where she would have a hard time with. But at the same time, I genuinely don’t feel like it’s a problem, considering how I think it’s a beautiful name with a significant meaning. It shows off part of her heritage and honours her great grandmother. Also, it’s going to be her middle name so it’s not like that’s what she’ll be referred to on a daily basis. Am I in the wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA. It isn’t cultural appropriation because your daughter will be, in part, Japanese. Also, it’s a middle name. Kids aren’t going to know her middle name, let alone give her shit for it. If your husband just doesn’t like it, he should say that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister, (27) thinks that i (31M) can’t own a cat because I’m a man, but it goes far beyond that. Whenever she came over she would always throw stuff at my cat or would lock it in a closet, making me search for her for hours and leaving me to put her up for a hotel. She always tells me that the next time she sees my cat she’s going to take her and give her away because it’s “gay” to have cats? We’re having a family reunion at my house the day quarantine is over to celebrate my parent’s retirement and while making preparations, I told my sister that I refuse to let my sister stay at my house. Well she apparently already booked arrangeable plane tickets and worked it out with work but I told her that she should cancel because my cat is apart of my family and if she wants to get rid of it then she can’t participate in the family reunion. My sisters pretty pissed, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It is your responsibility as a cat owner to *not* let people like this around your cat. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.\n\nRecently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It is your property that you worked for, so you have the right to say no. She has a history of breaking things so you are justified in being worried that she might break you laptop, in which case you would both be screwed. She is the one who broke her chromebook, so why should you suffer for it? Let her live with the consequences of her own actions. If he can't afford to buy her a new chromebook then he definitely can't afford to buy you anew laptop if she breaks it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and on mobile\n\nSo my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.\n\nMy father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings.  So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.\n\nI believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.\n\nEdit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######","completion":" NTA. It is your father's wish to give the money to you, so know that he trusts you with it. Your siblings are just trying to guilt you for the money. If they care enough about your father, they would've at least responded to the messages. They only care about his money. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(25) boyfriend(23) was still an art student when we got together, so he used to have me be his model to practice drawing, sometimes nudes even. I am quite okay with it as long as he doesn't show them around to other people and he respected that.\n\n\nFor my birthday he used one of his old sketches of me, one with me completely bare, and recreated them as a full coloured digital painting and gave it to me. He did a wonderful job, it was so much better in comparison to his previous sketch and he added more details to it and even added flowers and some light orbs(sorry, not sure how to describe)to make it better. \n\n\nWe have come to a disagreement however when he wanted to put that painting in his portfolio.\n\n\nI told him that I am not comfortable to have a painting of me completely bare to be out there in public. His painting is so life like that I am sure people who know me can tell by its face that it is me. Furthermore, it a birthday gift for me and it feels bad to have it up in for public view \n\n\nMy boyfriend said that the painting is one of his best, his masterpiece even. It would be a shame if he cannot use it for advertising, especially since he wanted others to have him do commissions. also said that while it is a painting of me, it is not really me, it is a painting, an artwork of his. \n\n\nWhile we argued my boyfriend came to say that people wouldn't recognize it as me since I don't have the same body I had before(I gained weight recently). This set me off and I threw him out of the room. I am writing this while he is outside apologising. ######","completion":" NTA. It is your choice how your body is used, and this is an image of your body - so your choice.\n\nHis reference to your weight gain is out of line and incredibly rude and manipulative.\n\nHe can update any other image, specifically one where you are clothed, and create a masterpiece from that for his portfolio ######"}
{"prompt":"On Thanksgiving of 2018 my sister (34) and mother (58) mentioned to me (f21) “You know you’re going to have to take care of your nephew when we’re gone?” My nephew (15) has severe non verbal autism, mixed with some other disabilities I was never given the exact details on, and he will never be able to live on his own. As I’ve thought about it more as time passed, I realized that I really don’t want that responsibility put on me and my fiancé (f23) when we are older. We both suffer from some mental illnesses, and we both ultimately decided we wanted to be child free the rest of our lives. I know taking care of my nephew will compromise that since he will essentially just be a big kid. \n\nI also do not feel comfortable being around my nephew because of an incident that happened back when I was in high school babysitting him alone. He tried to force me into bed with him. Luckily I was taller and older than him and I could scold him and tell him no, but the incident made me uncomfortable being around him alone. My mom pushed it off as him being hormonal and not knowing better because of his disabilities, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Now he is 6” compared to my height of 5’4” and is much stronger. \n\nThe problem is that whenever I’ve mentioned not wanting to take care him to my mom, (I have not mentioned it to my sister since then. Our relationship is strained and we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings.) she brushes it off by saying “You don’t have to worry about that yet.” And then changes the subject. \n\nI do still care about my nephew but taking care of him would be too much for me and my fiancé who would be more so forced into it than me. I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want to be responsible for him when I’m older but I feel like because I seem much more put together than the other candidates it’s being forced upon me.\n\nSo, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. It is up to your sister to make arrangements for the care of her son. She can't just assume that you would take care of him. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am an ex Muslim but My family, my mom, dad and sisters are Muslim and still follow Islam quite devoutly. When I was younger, my parents used to abuse me quite badly whenever I would complain about Ramadan and fasting and also for other reasons like if I neglected prayers or made mistakes during my Quran studies. When I was 16, I left the religion as I was appalled by many of the things in the religion as well as all the unnecessary restrictions and things you are forbidden to do. \n\nAs I grew older I also got into weightlifting and I developed a bit of temper and my parents stopped abusing me as much as they did because I started standing up for myself\n\nThis is the first Ramadan where I am not fasting and my parents are giving me the silent treatment, they’re obviously livid but they’re not saying anything. My sisters are saying that even though I don’t believe in the religion I should still fast and be respectful. But I want to stick to my guns and not fast as a way of but I have given some zakat (charity) though.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It is ridiculous to expect you to adhere to a religion you don't believe in. \n\nThey are probably just salty that you can eat but they can't. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my parents have been having issues for as long as I can remember, but the last few months it has gotten worse. Today my parents called me (F21) and my little brother downstairs to announce they're getting a divorce. My dad was adamant in saying \"this is your mom's doing, I don't want this, all the hurt is on her\", without ever reflecting on his own wrongdoings in this relationship.  \n\nI fully understand that he is hurt in this situation and that he doesn't want to hear from his own daughter that she agrees to a divorce- Basically agreeing to breaking up the family. I tried to explain that I rather see them happy separately and that a house filled with arguments and emotional manipulation isn't a good place for me and my little brother. \n\nHe interrupted me saying that he called me down to have his \"semi-adult\" daughter try to mend their relationship and support them in fixing their marriage- like a mediator. He stood up, pointed his finger in my face, and said: \"I'm disappointed, disappointed, disappointed. Here you are siding with your mom to wreck this family.\". \n\nI know it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but how can he expect me to lie and side with him when I don't agree at all? I have tried in the past to help my parents out- my mom had compromised tremendously and my dad simply can't see what is so frustrating to my mom (the fact that he just can't see his inability to put himself into someone else's shoes and understanding people can have a different opinion without it making him the bad guy). \n\nSo, I suppose what I am wondering is: am I the asshole for having said what I said in a very polite way? I've been crying my eyes out for over an hour now. Just hearing my dad say I'm a disappointment so unapologetically really fucking hurts. ######","completion":" NTA. It is never appropriate, no matter the age, to put children in the middle of a divorce. I do divorce work and it makes me want to pull my hair out when people do this. It is unfair and borderline cruel to the children and absolutley nothing good can come out of it, but a lot of damage can result. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, here's the situation:\n\nI am doing shit on my laptop, it needs updates and all that, since I just recently bought it and freshly installed Windows. I set the language on English despite German being my mother tongue.\n\nSo my sister comes by and she sees my new laptop. She wanted to see it so I gave it to her. Then she asks why I changed the language on English. I tell her that it's because it's easier to follow good tutorials written in English, and that I find it annoying to translate English to German to search for it.\n\nShe then went on to question why I had difficulty translating and I say sometimes translating isn't as easy as she thinks. I then went on with pretty shit examples, which she translated. \n\nSo I tried to justify me choosing English for some time, which only semi worked.\n\nAfter that, she said I could always search those things in English even on a german machine, which she proved. She then said that I was probably only doing it to show off, which was when I got really angry.\n\nI told her that it's because I like it on English and I questioned her why she had to be such a prick about it. I told her that I found the way she talked to me very condescending and mean. She then told me that I should calm down and that I should understand her position. She said that she knew my reasons were wrong and that she knew she was right. I should have said earlier that it's because of preference.\n\nIn her view I was kinda angry from the beginning, that's what she told me, and that I was getting unreasonably worked up.\n\nI know this is pretty trivial and shit, and we're both over it as it happenwd some time ago. But sometimes I can't help but think who was the asshole.\n\nSo I wanted to ask AITA for being annoyed and angry at her after this, or is it her. ######","completion":" NTA. It is literally none of her business what language your laptop is set on, and she's completely ridiculous for even bringing up the matter. And she's got a hell of a nerve telling you to \"calm down\" when she'd been attacking you over nothing.\n\nNext time, skip the justifications and just tell her it's your laptop and you'll use it any way you like. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF of 5 years whom i love recently became hardcore vegan.  We live at my ranch out in the country on a few acres of land.  I own a flock of about 15 hens and a rooster as well.  I'm not a farmer or anything but these guys are my pets.  I am to emotionally attached to my hens to eat them but have no problem with eating other meat.    \n\n\nMy girlfriend wants to get rid of them cause they give her PTSD and reminds her of how terrible chickens are treated elsehwere.  She also gets made at me for eating their eggs without their consent.  I agreed to get rid of them because I am a pushover but then changed my mind.  she said I was a liar and a backstabber and we are having a serious problem with this.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It is kind of weird to put chickens in a place where they might be mistreated then keep them there and treat them well. She has some backwards thinking and I would dump her and keep the chickens. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school.  I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. It is better to not get married if you don't want to. But don't understand your concept of having kids, house and a life partner but not marriage. Can you explain? ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this. \n\nSo they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people. \n\nShe says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.\n\nWell, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about. \n\nMy mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.” \n\nAnd I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”\n\nShe was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”\n\nI was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”\n\nShe was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.” \n\nBut it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience. \n\nSo, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?\n\nOn a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######","completion":" Nta. It is absolutely about the individual not the culture or race or breed. Its like saying I ate pancakes once and got an upset stomach but every other time I was fine but now I don't eat pancakes. Correlation does not equal causation ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (36) and I have two kids, my husband also has autism and so does my son (17) both relatively mild cases. My daughter and I do not share this mental disability with them.\n\nNow I’m a nurse which means due to COVID I’ve had to be at  my workplace, my husband however could work at home. My children being  school aged were also obviously home. I noticed that after the first few weeks my daughter started receiving a lot more money from my husband, I noticed my son also giving money , and when restrictions were eased car rides in addition seemed available to my youngest.\n\nI called In sick so I’m off two weeks, and I’ve noticed that when my daughter asks for things from my son or husband she’ll try to either hug them or raise her voice.\nThese are both sensory overloads for them and they’ll agree to anything to make it stop and avoid a meltdown, before they hate loud noises and uninitiated physical contact. \n\nI know this because I admittedly have done this myself ONCE before when my husband didn’t want to go to the doctor So wrapped my arms around him for like half a minute  while I asked him to get in the car and let me take him to the doctor he agreed after he started to freak out.\n\nSo I confronted my daughter about this and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about, I asked her to explain to me how it’s okay for her to try to overwhelm like that and she started to get angry so she went to her room, I then went to my husband and say we should punish her after I explained the situation, he got mad and said there’s no way he’s being taken advantage of by a 14 yr old, I asked him if he was under duress when she asked for something from him and he refused to answer and went to our room and locked the door.\n\nAITA for trying to punish my daughter for taking  advantage of my husband and son ? ######","completion":" NTA. It is a good idea to teach your daughter at her age that manipulation is abusive. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube. \n\nI’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun. \n\nLately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things. \n\nThat’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos. \n\nHer parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######","completion":" NTA. It is *so* common nowadays that if a hobby can't be commercialized then there's no use pursuing it. That is TOTAL BS. Ask her to sing!! Interact with her videos!! She doesn't have to pursue it seriously for it to be fun and engaging, and neither does she have to be the next Taylor Swift. It's perfectly fine to be rather mediocre and still have fun doing the thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before covid, still a problem.\n\nMy daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.\n\nAnyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.\n\nWhen I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home. \n\nWe had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.\n\nThen he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.\n\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA. It doesn’t really matter if she was physically unwell or if there was an emotional reason behind her wanting to stay home. This was out of character, unusual and won’t affect her education - everyone needs a mental health day every so often.  \n  If you had ignored her then it might have meant that she wouldn’t come to you in the future when she was struggling so you built some trust with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######","completion":" NTA. It doesn’t matter what you paid for them, she lost them and she needs to replace them whether she find some used ones in good condition or new. If you lost something of hers that she got on sale would she not expect you to replace it as well even if it was at full price? ######"}
{"prompt":"My first wife had a group of best friends she was super close to. They were like sisters. One, we’ll call Faith, is the godmother to our oldest child. Sadly my first wife died due to complications with childbirth with our second child. The group of friends, Faith included, were there for me. This was 5 years ago.\n\n3 years later, I met my current wife and we married this year. Through a lot of conversations, we finally decided it was time to answer my kids’ questions about how their mom died. In the past, I told them that she got sick and passed away, which is technically true. But I never went into details. They’re 5 &amp; 7. I didn’t want my son blaming my daughter, I didn’t want my daughter to have any guilt. So, I finally decided to get them a therapist to talk about it. But with the pandemic, we have to wait a month.\n\nThe issue came up when Faith. She watches my kids. I told her our plan. She told me I should tell them, not a therapist. I said I’d rather have a professional’s help. Faith was really against it but I didn’t think much of it...until I came home from work and found out that she had told my kids. A child friendly version (“mommy got sick when having *daughter*”) but a version nonetheless. I was pissed.\n\nI’ve banned her from the house and seeing the kids, while trying to help my kids emotionally process this. My wife is looking at nannies. The rest of the friend group says I overreacted, that Faith was just trying to help. I say it wasn’t her place. I told them if they keep it up, I’ll cut them all off. I’m so furious. My wife has told me that I’m starting to go too far.\n\nAm I being an ass? ######","completion":" NTA. It doesn’t matter if she thought what she was doing was right, she severely overstepped after you specifically told her how you wanted to handle it. She should never have been the one to tell them and it was a complete breech of trust. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm going to be moving out of my toxic family's home later in may to a different city. My parents obviously responded poorly to my decision because they're both control freaks, and having me leave would mean they would no longer have any control over me. I made it clear that once I move I'm blocking them and cutting them off permanently.\nNow today my mom decided that shes going to come to the city with me for two weeks when I move so she can \"help\" me. \nI'm 18 and this woman still follows me to doctors appointments, the store, the gym, etc even though I ask her not to, and claims it's for \"emotional suport\" and shes \"helping\" me, even though she just creepily watches me for the most part. At doctors\/dentists appointments she will talk over me, not letting me tell the doctor anything, and give all the wrong information. So I know that her \"helping\" is just a way of getting control over me under the guise of generosity.\nToday I snapped and told her that I don't need her help, that I never asked for it, and her coming to the new place with me is just going to complicate things.\nShe responded by saying that I'm rude, a disrespectful and ungrateful child, saying that I never appreciate all the things that she does for me, and that she will never help me again. \nAITA for not wanting her help?\n\nEdit: You guys are right. There's a part of me that thinks that she genuinely wants to help but just doesn't know how, but reading over this thread made me realize that's not true. ######","completion":" NTA. It doesn't sound like it was offered out of kindness and two weeks is entirely too long. She needs to let you grow up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently. \n\nBackground: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it. \n\nThough, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right. \n\nFed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke. \n\nTo cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most. \n\nAm I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######","completion":" Nta. It doesn't matter if someone meant something as a joke, if you hurt someone's feelings you apologize and do the do it again. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (late 30s M) was visiting an old friend from High School and his wife. I should mention that at the time I had just finished a doctorate in Math -- this is relevant to the story. There were a number of people hanging out. Most of them I knew but my friend's wife's friend Janice ( late 40's F) and her daughter Ellie (maybe 19 F) who i didn't know , were also there. My friend's wife introduced us: \"Throwaway, this is my friend Janice and her daughter Ellie. Janice and Ellie this is our friend Throwaway. Throwaway just became a Doctor.\" Ellie ( the daughter) said \"Are you single? I think that I would make an excellent trophy wife.\" I gave a big dramatic sigh and said \"Sadly I'm not the kind of Doctor that gets to marry pretty young things. I'm the kind that teaches calculus to nerds. \" Everyone laughed, we chatted a bit and I wandered off to play pool with the guys.\n\nNow the mom and my friends wife seemed fine with what I said but i got a bunch of flak later from a couple of people (who were not even part of the original conversation) who said that it was \"gross\" that i was \" flirting with someone half my age.\" I thought that this was a ridiculous way to characterize the whole interaction. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. It actually seems like you jokingly shut down her flirty advances and moved on. You hardly preyed on her. ######"}
{"prompt":"On Thanksgiving of 2018 my sister (34) and mother (58) mentioned to me (f21) “You know you’re going to have to take care of your nephew when we’re gone?” My nephew (15) has severe non verbal autism, mixed with some other disabilities I was never given the exact details on, and he will never be able to live on his own. As I’ve thought about it more as time passed, I realized that I really don’t want that responsibility put on me and my fiancé (f23) when we are older. We both suffer from some mental illnesses, and we both ultimately decided we wanted to be child free the rest of our lives. I know taking care of my nephew will compromise that since he will essentially just be a big kid. \n\nI also do not feel comfortable being around my nephew because of an incident that happened back when I was in high school babysitting him alone. He tried to force me into bed with him. Luckily I was taller and older than him and I could scold him and tell him no, but the incident made me uncomfortable being around him alone. My mom pushed it off as him being hormonal and not knowing better because of his disabilities, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Now he is 6” compared to my height of 5’4” and is much stronger. \n\nThe problem is that whenever I’ve mentioned not wanting to take care him to my mom, (I have not mentioned it to my sister since then. Our relationship is strained and we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings.) she brushes it off by saying “You don’t have to worry about that yet.” And then changes the subject. \n\nI do still care about my nephew but taking care of him would be too much for me and my fiancé who would be more so forced into it than me. I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want to be responsible for him when I’m older but I feel like because I seem much more put together than the other candidates it’s being forced upon me.\n\nSo, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. It absolutely isn’t your responsibility to take care of your nephew at any point in his or your life. There are group home situations for this exact reason. Sounds like your sister needs to start looking into alternate housing for your nephew just in case. ######"}
{"prompt":"Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.\n\nI have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).\n\nWell my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.\n\nSo I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.\n\nIdk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######","completion":" NTA. Is your cousin an actual child? \n\nI’d probably wage war on their facebooks now, but you know...stuff that can be explained away and will only drive *them* insane HA. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some backstory:\n     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store. \n    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes. \n    He responded with \"well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you.\"\n   I said \"well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them\" \n    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.\n   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. Is John one of those guys who says \"We're pregnant\"? Because he needs to realise that's not a get-out-of-chores-free card for both of them, or even for one of them.\n\nIf his wife did have to have rest on medical grounds, he should be picking up the slack, not the rest of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So yesterday my gf and i went to the beach with her friend.\nMy gf is southern european (italian) and her friend is Northern European(Danish),when we arrived at the beach her friend offered her sunscreen ,my gf refused her offer and she said”i am italian i can handle the sun”,my gf has VERY pale skin that burns easily under the sun yet she tried to impress everyone by being “a badass who’s immune to sunburn” and of course she burned.\nWhen i saw how red her face was i started laughing hysterically and i said “Being southern European doesnt make you immune to sunburn,play stupid games win stupid prizes”\nNow some of our friends say that i am a huge asshole for laughing at her,i disagree.\nShe is super mad and she won’t talk to me ,so reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Is it the nicest thing to laugh? No. Is it entirely her own fault it happened even when offered sunscreen? Yes. Am I also laughing? Absolutely.\nI’m half black and even I still wear sunscreen *every day*. (Or at least every day I’m outside for more than ten minutes.) ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy sister and I share a bathroom. The bathroom has two towel hangers.\n\nRecently my sisters towel hanger  broke off and now it needs to be completely replaced. She absolutely refuses to go and buy a replacement and install it.\n\nInstead she has just been using my towel hanger. She will slide mine over so hers can fit too. Which I find gross. It’s been annoying the fuck out of me. So each time she does it I take her towel and put it in her laundry basket.\n\nNow she has started to do the same thing with my towel even though it’s my towel hanger. \n\nIm tired of going into the bathroom only to find my towel in the laundry basket all gross and damp, so today I went and just removed my whole towel rack and hid it. I got some hooks for the back of my bedroom door to use instead.\n\nShe got pissed off and came barging into my room to ask why happened to it.\n\nI just said it was gone. \n\nShe asked what I meant and what happened to it.\n\nI said I would put it back when she fixed her.\n\nShe said I was being childish and if I just shared mine it wouldn’t even be an issue. ######","completion":" NTA. Is it petty? Yes. It's it a good idea in this situation? Also yes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm furloughed today and my mom is visiting, so I kept our 11 month old home from daycare. My husband is unemployed, but studying for a test. He said not to expect help with the kid since he is studying. I said ok and was watching the baby while waiting for his grandmother to come over. My mom asked me to look at some old videos of me, so I had them playing. The kid was being loud. Suddenly, my husband comes out of the office and asks \"how would you feel if the daycare workers watched videos while they're supposed to be caring for our son?\"\n\nI got angry and defensive. I told him if he was removing himself from watching the kid, he can't complain how I'm doing it. Plus, it's insulting to suggest I'm not caring for my son \"good enough\". Kids make noise and I'm not going to punish him for being a kid. I also pointed out it's insulting to daycare workers to suggest anyone can do their job.\n\nSo am I being a bad mother and getting mad at him for pointing it out or are his expectations out of line? ######","completion":" NTA. Is he suggesting that you interact with the child his every waking moment? Because that's how you get kids who can't play alone or play imaginatively or experience boredom. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######","completion":" NTA. Infidelity hurts the whole family and it sounds like your mother is unsure of how to cope. He broke his promise and you held yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nI recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms.\n \nI didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise.\n \nWhen I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized.\n \nI just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. In what way would that be considered cheating? ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf and I have been together for about 6 years and we've had issues with his mom and stepdad( his stepdad hasn't done anything particularly harsh he's just there ). I for the first 4 years assumed she hated me. I would be invited to things only to be never picked up by my bf or his mom would do weird stuff like try to set him up with her friend's kids. Bf always told me she didn't hate me and that I was just exaggerating.  I had even tried to ask her about her behavior toward the beginning of the relationship and she told me she'd get my bf to break up with me ( we were still in high school at the time).\n\nEventually it came out that no she didn't hate me but she thought I was an entitled bitch because I was at family events when I wasn't wanted. It came out that my bf never really asked if I was welcome and just would say he was going to bring me. She assumed that I was controlling him and that was her reasoning to act the way she did. Since then I have made myself scarce and don't show up to her events but I show up to his dad and stepmom's gatherings instead. When bf came clean to his parents I told him to ask his mom or stepdad to contact me if they would like me there. This is the general conflict my bf and I have had for the past year and some change. bf has not told them what I asked.\n\nbf told me that I should trust in him telling me when I'm invited and he's been telling his parents that an accident I was in was the reason why I wasn't coming over. it is partially true. His brother spilled the beans that I've been visiting his dad and stepmom and his mom has been upset over this. I told bf that I want it to be clear that i'm wanted or not. He says that it would ruin his reputation with his family and he doesn't want that.\n\nAITA for asking him to ask his parents to message me themselves when they want me around? ######","completion":" NTA. In the past your boyfriend was inconsiderate both to you and to his family, and instead of coming clean he is letting you take the heat to \"protect his reputation\" with his family, whatever that means. What about his reputation with you? I can't fault you for wanting clarity from his mom lest you get wrongly flamed again. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHi all!\n\nMy wife and me just found out we are going to have a baby, we have tried several times.\n\nThe thing is, my wife is a weed addict, she smokes 7 days a week the whole day and I told her that if she smoked weed while pregnant I would leave the house.\n\nThis was because last pregnancy I found she smoked weed several times through the pregnancy.\n\nI'm surprised she's so addicted to it that the next days she smoked weed, this has been 4 days after I told her that I would leave if she smoked.\n\nI demanded her to give me her weed or i'll leave, which she did, the problem is next day she asked me for it, but I dumped it all on the trash, so she got mad and stopped talking to me, and she actually went to buy more to her dealer.\n\nShe returned and smoked weed in the house 2 times that day, not giving a fuck about me and my child.\n\nWhat should I do? I have tried to talk to her several times, telling her that I would not leave because she is obviously addicted and she needs help, and that she could talk to me anytime she had the urge to smoke or we could find professional help, but she got sad and mad and started crying and changing topics and leave, she's blaming this on me, when I'm just telling her that it was her choice to keep smoking weed or to care for our baby.\n\nNonetheless even if im being calm and trying to help her IM FUCKING MAD inside because thats my fucking son inside there and I DO want to leave her sometimes because this weed issue has been going through all our marriage, I was fine when she smoked 1 day or two, but the whole week at all times? Im fucking sick of it, but i love her and when she's not all smoked up I like to hang out with her.\n\nAITA for leaving my house? and leaving her? obviously i would take care financially and lovingly of my son when she delivers. I just don't want to be married someone that prefers drugs than her son wellness and his husband ######","completion":" NTA. In terms of what you should do, I mean, my first piece of advice is to stop getting her pregnant. Second bit of advice would be to document her caution-to-the-wind, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-my-child attitude and prepare for life as a single father. She clearly is in no place to be responsible for a baby if she can’t do something as simple as quit smoking weed. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex is a B-list reality TV personality. Obviously there is no respectable middle-aged woman who does reality TV. But I cut her slack because it's all fake and she is playing a character that people believe is real. I never had an issue but over the last few years, she's been more outrageous. Showing more skin, more drama, fake fights, etc. That's what she has to do to stay relevant.\n\nOur sons are 9 and 12 and are becoming more aware and ashamed of her even though it's a \"character.\" She was offered a lot of money to do a show about her and her personal life. This includes having our kids on camera. It would be all fake with scripts and prompting.\n\nMy kids have mixed feelings between faking scenes but being paid. I asked my ex what scenes they thought about doing and it was stupid shit like my youngest fake falling off his bike and she rushes over to comfort him to my 12yo checking out his \"babysitter\" who is actually an actress. \n\nI told her I was comfortable with that and I would not sign a release to let them appear on the shoe. That means she doesn't get a show. That means no seven figure payday. She is livid at me and has very crying all day. ######","completion":" NTA. In my personal opinion children shouldn't be on reality TV. There are a lot of stories of child stars gone bad. Not to mention your kids dont seem interested besides getting paid. She needs to respect your decision as the other parent and find another gig. ######"}
{"prompt":"I admit, there's not much drama surrounding this, but I could use a judgement regardless. Throw away for privacy reasons.\n\nHusband and I just happily found out we're pregnant, very much a wanted child but the timing could definitely be better given the current world crises. Anyways, everyone around us is overjoyed, this is the first and only grandchild on my side of the family. Spouse long thought he was unable to have kids and had given up hope. Yay. \n\nMoving on. The response to this kid has been fucking overwhelming. Oh. My. God. People are coming out of the woodwork to congratulate us, offer advice, opinions, life hacks, used clothing and baby items. \n\nI love that this kid is so loved, it's amazing to be so supported but she's not even here yet and I'm so overwhelmed by how much the pregnancy\/ childbirth\/ kid having process is consuming my day to day life. \n\nI just dont want to talk about it any more. I dont want to talk about my nipples. I dont want to talk about names. Or strechmarks or fucking clothes and diapers. So anytime someone brings it up, I just shrug it off or troll them with nonsense answers. Like telling them we're gonna name her Chalupa Batman, or Xena or some shit like that. Get her a baby hyena and raise them together. \n\nPeople are starting to notice, and I'm getting remarks. People, namely the women in my familial circle, are having hurt feelings, telling me I'm sucking the fun out of this for them. That I need to take it seriously, stop being so rude, people are just trying to help, that I'm a Debbie Downer, ect. Mom gave me a lecture about how when you're pregnant, it's not about you anymore. That it takes a village to raise a child and that im ruining this for everyone else involved and acting like a moody teenager.\n\nTruth is, I would kill to talk about anything else right now. The mating habits of San Salvadorian Marching Ants. Anything but this pregnancy.  I don't want to be defined by it \n\nSo, judgement time, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Imagine being so selfish that you complain about the fun being sucked out of *someone else's* pregnancy! Humanity achieves new heights everyday! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.  \n\nI'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.  \n\nFew hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.  \n\nMy roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.  \n\nI think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. im incredibly pro-worker, but messaging someone you delivered to is so incredibly inappropriate and unprofessional. if he didnt want to get fired, it wouldve been the easiest thing in the world for him to *not* message you and just go about his day ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.\n\nWell, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I \"should have known\" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.\n\nThe thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).\n\nSo I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If your spouse isn't ok with you \"marrying\" an NPC, they are  very insecure and unstable. Start saving money for therapy OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. \n\nI (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). Their mom isn't in the pictue. I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for both of them to go to college which amounted to about $100k each kid. \n\nThe thing is, Ana got a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up. \n\nBoth my children knew I had $100k for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride, I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or a downpayment for a house. \n\nSo last week Ana asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and how I'm being unfair. I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her, which was the same amount as what I've given him for college. He still thinks I should've split the money evenly so it would be more fair. I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife (their stepmom) told him.\n\nAna has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding for his half of the money. So both my kids are fighting now.\n\nMy wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart. I told her that it was always Ana's money and I already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses. \n\nBoth kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money. \n\nSo reddit... AITA? I think that splitting the money would've been very unfair to Ana, who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think?\n\nEdit: I spent a bit over $100k on Alex's education cause not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent, bills, food, and everything in between. ######","completion":" NTA. If your son graduated with no debt, and you paid for all living expenses,  then he got his $100K.\n\nPerhaps add it up, and show him what he got. \n\nYou basically just delayed payment of your daughters college fund, and payed out in a lump sum, since she got  full ride. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo my area reopened beaches and I have been going everyday for the last two weeks to go surfing.\n\nBefore anyone goes on about me not social distancing know that the beach I am going to is not at all crowded and I can stay a good 50-60ft away from other people.\n\nApparently it’s bothering my sister though as she is unable to go to the beach at all and she used to love going to the beach.\n\nMy sister got into a car accident last year and mostly uses a wheelchair to get around. She can walk a few yards on even surfaces, but that’s it. \n\nMy mom says I shouldn’t go so much because it’s upsetting my sister to see me coming home from the beach each day, but if I don’t I’m basically stuck in this tiny, hot ass apartment all day (no air conditioning) and Its sounds bad, but I don’t feel like her mistakes should mean I have to suffer. ######","completion":" NTA. If your sister had been blinded, would you have been asked to not look at things?\n\nI'm sure it's tough, but she can't expect others to just not do thing they enjoy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted. \n\nOf course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.\n\nShe ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######","completion":" NTA. If your sister bought your nephew paints that don’t easily clean. That’s her problem, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's really not a whole lot of back story here. She's 39 weeks pregnant and keeps begging me to have sex because she thinks it'll help her go into labor. I've been denying her advances for the last month or so because I just don't have a drive to do anything. It's been hard on me because I feel like I’m upsetting her and I also don't quite understand why my drive left. I don't want her to feel like she's ugly or fat, but I don't feel like I should force myself to do something like that. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAnyway she's really upset with me because I told her today I can't handle her constantly asking me to do it or making jokes about how I won't. It's torture to me to constantly be reminded about this internal conflict I've been having regarding the subject. I know it's my fault that I didn't tell her sooner but this sort of reaction is exactly what I was afraid of. On the outside when she makes jokes or requests she sees me respond with a complementary laugh\/smile or a polite no.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe's upset with me for what seems like her assumption that I'm saying she's ugly\/fat now even though I told her specifically that's not true nor is it why. I know from a \"should you ever have sex if you don't want to\" standpoint the answer is that I'm in the right. But am I an asshole for not wanting to have sex with her right now? Should I have just kept it to myself and not told her to stop? ######","completion":" NTA. If your sex drive dropped out of nowhere, you need to see your doctor. If you guys were regularly having sex up until a month ago and suddenly the drive is gone, that could be indicative of a serious problem. Tell your wife that despite finding her incredibly attractive, you are not interested in having sex. Her feelings will be hurt. But you have every right to say no. But definitely get yourself checked out. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If your parents want to lend books to random people all willy nilly then they need to acquire their own copies of said books to lend out. You're under no obligation to share your possessions with persons you hardly know, especially knowing those things are likely to come back damaged. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M). \n\nOne of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical \"neckbeard\". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots \n\nHowever, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem. \n\nWell, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates. \n\nOne of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying \"I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone\" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore. \n\nHonestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice. \n\nI immediately snapped at Amy and said \"You're bullying him, and that's not cool\". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet. \n\nLater my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was \"only joking around and having fun\". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If your idea of \"fun\" is putting down other people behind their backs, there is a 10\/10 chance that you suck ass. You did the right thing my dude. ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepdaughter (24) is moving in with her Bf this weekend and when she asked for help moving, I said nothing about it being my birthday because let’s be real- there’s a pandemic and I’m not going to go out and party or anything. But we would have to get up super early and drive three hours to help her move and then three hours back. Her BF and his father live in that town and are going to help. My husband is going to help, which I have no problem with. Her bio mom isn’t going, so I feel less pressure. \nHowever, my husband keeps asking me to go when I really don’t want to have to wake up early, drive three hours, move stuff in the heat, and then drive home another three hours. On my birthday. I just want to sleep in and relax. I have not asked for anything for my birthday, it’s 41 so no big deal. My birthday last year was a complete sh!tshow and I actually had to remind my husband that he had a gift for me AFTER the date had passed. \nAm I the asshole for just wanting to sleep in and not have to spend six hours in the car AND moving her? I get that my husband wants to spend time with me on my birthday but I’d rather  stay home and be lazy. I feel like the asshole. \nAlso just extra info: I’ve gone above and beyond for the step kids over the years and have great relationships with them. But I feel under appreciated at times which makes me feel less pressure to go help her move again. ######","completion":" NTA. If your husband keeps pressuring you for it, gently remind him that you’d much rather have some time for yourself on your birthday rather than move stuff. But the way he keeps pressuring makes me wonder if he has something planned? ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling. \n\nThen suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, \"Goddamn!\" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time. \n\nI got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If your girlfriend is self-conscious about how you react to her farting in your face, then maybe she shouldn't fart in your face. Totally gross. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ######","completion":" NTA. If your dad can safely prepare non-gf foods without it affecting your mom, and you don’t have a gluten intolerance, there’s no reason for you to eat gluten-free. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I, both 24, have been together ten years now. He’s my best friend and I love him. Since the beginning of our relationship I’ve explicitly said I do not want kids, and he’s always gone along with it. I practically brought up my siblings due to my mum being a drug addict, and don’t want kids myself. \n\nA few nights ago we were at his parents house, his dad said something like “when you two have kids...” and I looked at him expecting him to say something but he didn’t. I brought it up when we got home and he asked if I’d be ready to start trying. I was quite simply baffled as this is a conversation we’ve had many times before. Like many times. He said that he assumed I’d just change my mind and that he really wants kids. I refused and said if he wants kids he can get them elsewhere. \n\nWe’ve been arguing about it constantly, and his parents have managed to worm their way into it and saying I’m an awful person for leading my boyfriend to believe we’d have children, when I’ve been doing the opposite our entire relationship. I love kids, and if I happened to fall pregnant I would love the baby with everything in me, but I’ve told him from the beginning that planning a baby isn’t something I want. My parents even seem to be on his side. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you’ve been explicitly clear this whole time, then he’s been lying to you when he’s gone along with it. I’d bet that he’s also told his parents a different story, given their reaction. He’s been telling himself that when you say “never,” you mean “not right now.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate (22F) and I (20M) have been roommates for about six months. One of the things that was agreed upon when I moved in with her was that I don’t want anyone else, including her, in my room. I grew up in a household where my privacy wasn’t respected, and I would routinely get home to my parents tearing through my room without me in there and without my permission. It still gives me anxiety. \n\nMy roommate is usually good about honoring my request. However, lately she’s been making a fuss about the request. My roommate’s parents were super good about honoring her privacy, and she’s super open about her space. Lately, she’s been making small comments like, “why do you care who’s in your room if you have nothing to hide?” and “well what if I need something from your room?” And when she does this, I always tell her that it’s not about having anything to hide, it’s that it gives me a lot of anxiety, but she doesn’t seem to get it.\n\nA couple days ago, I got home from work to find my roommate in my room. When I confronted her about it, she said she was quickly dropping my laundry onto my bed. I told her that she should have just left it on the couch until I got home, and that she didn’t need to go into my room. I usually do the laundry, but because my roommate got laid off from her job and I didn’t, she started doing it, so after confronting her I brushed off the incident as a one time thing.\n\nYesterday though I found her in my room again, this time because she needed to borrow my charger. I told her again that I didn’t want her in my room. I was trying to keep calm but I’ll admit I was very agitated. She said I was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal and I should just suck it up. And today she was giving me the silent treatment, so I’m genuinely wondering if I overreacted. ######","completion":" NTA. If you’ve actually caught her twice she’s probably been in more times than that unfortunately. Living with roommates, your bedroom is your only truly private space. \n\nI agree with other posters about installing a real lock either through a locksmith or buying the external hardware for a padlock and doing it yourself. She will probably take this as extreme or you hiding something, but you’ve already explained your preference on this and didn’t owe her that to begin with ######"}
{"prompt":"I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######","completion":" NTA. If you’re close to moving out, there’s a reason she didn’t bring this up until now. She knew she would have been shut down and that she’d have to figure out other arrangements. If you’re younger, she’s unfairly trying to pressure you into a commitment you’re not remotely prepared for. Either way, she’s banking on your familial guilt to bankroll her retirement. I feel for her, but she should have been planning for this long ago.\n\nI know this varies in different cultures, but that’s my take based on what’s here. ######"}
{"prompt":"He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######","completion":" NTA. If you’re able to DRINK on a call, it can’t be too important that you can’t take the few seconds to mute it. ######"}
{"prompt":"(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nHello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f\/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.\n\nLast week I was asked by friend A (f\/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.\n\nA came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f\/30) doesn't like Korean food.\n\n\"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?\"\n\nWell you guessed it, now friend C (f\/34) doesn't like sushi.\n\nThis has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.\n\nToday B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.\n\nI snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.\n\nI am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.\n\nSo yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...   \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######","completion":" NTA. If you're within a year of sobriety and your friends are aware of that, they're not friends if they want you to go to a pub for your birthday. Your sobriety is way more important than their preferences in food. And regardless of the sobriety, your birthday is about you. You get to decide where and when you want to celebrate and if your choice is to not celebrate, that's the right choice.\n\nTo give you an example of how good friends react to something like this: it's my birthday next weekend and I asked my roommates if they would come to my mom's house with me. All I had to offer was home cooked food and animals to pet. They immediately agreed because it's what will make my birthday special. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened today at 7am, i got woken up by a huge scandal going on in the aparment above mine so i went to check it out.\n\nThe tenants are two tourist girls that rented the apartment from airbnb and a strong weed smell is coming out from their door. My other neighbors are there knocking on their door and shouting but these girls don't speak any spanish so i'm chosen to speak with them.\n\nI told them in english to cut it out as the smell is very strong and affecting other tenants in the floor. no answer, just giggling. However, i chose not to tell them that the neighbors have called the cops on them, which might have prompted them to get sober asap.\n\nCops show up an hour later and start talking with the neighbors and the landlord (he doesn't live here but came called by the other tenants), weed smell at this point is still at 50% strength. They tell the landlord to open the door and get these two girls arrested.\n\nThis is where i start to feel bad since they seem very young (21-23 at most) and they have no idea of how messed up a police station in south america is, even in the women's holding cell. I know they won't get a phone call either so they could be stuck there for a week until their embassy even learns of their arrest. ######","completion":" NTA. If you're stupid enough to smoke where it's illegal you get what you get. If they hadn't been hotboxing the entire bloody building nobody would have cared. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey folks, so I'm at a fork in the road here and have to make a decision. \\[Re-phrasing some things so this post doesn't get removed again\\]\n\nMy brother is in his mid-30s and recently applied to become a police officer. I'm not going to say where since this would be a dead give-away of who I am. When he first told my family and I that he was applying to become a police officer, we were skeptical, but I didn't think anything of it, assuming he'd never make it past the initial testing phase. He has extreme anger issues (he has been in court a few times but my father has paid lawyers to get these incidences expunged from his record), he still lives with my mom, and has addiction issues. His current job has nothing to do with law enforcement either. To my utter shock, he's somehow made it to the final phase before he's admitted to the academy, which is background checks\/character references. I have no idea why he put me down as someone to provide him a character reference since we've never had a good relationship. But I recently received an email from the police department asking me to fill out a character reference for him.\n\nI absolutely do not feel comfortable with the idea of him being in a position of power within the community for obvious reasons. That being said, I am the godparent to his only child (who I love and adore) and my brother's current job is not exactly a career that will give his child a great life. I fully support my brother's ambition to have a better career, I'm just not sure if he's the best fit for law enforcement.\n\nWIBTA if I was truthful on the reference form and potentially ruin my relationship with both him and subsequently my godchild? Should I just not fill out the form at all and hope for the best? Or should I withhold certain details for the sake of their future? ######","completion":" NTA. If you're concerned for the safety of others, you should always tell the truth. If they choose not to hire him based on your reference, they probably won't tell him that was why. You WBTA if you gave him a false good character reference, in this case. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ######","completion":" NTA. If you were expecting this to be custom, it should be custom and only yours ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....\n\nFirst a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on\n\nSo I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a \"Virtual Birthday party\" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.\n\nI really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with \"well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception\" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as \n1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties\/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and \n2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day\" \nShe got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will \"just see what happens\" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you wedding will be on a Saturday, your mother can plan something for the Sunday. Or the weekend before. Or the weekend after. Out of curiosity, what's HER wedding story? Would she have allowed her day to get upstaged by everyone else? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times. \n\nMy order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.\n\nSo, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######","completion":" NTA. If you wanted that sort of crap you’d have asked for it or sought it out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore. \n\nAll of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside. \n\nI figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time. \n\nHe got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you used to do it, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, I wonder about the lack of bedroom stuff and his reaction... ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy family is beyond angry with me for this purchase and I want to know if I am wrong for it. If I am wrong, I will return it. I (26F) still live at home with my parents and younger sister (23F). My parents are currently not working but still being paid by their jobs and my sister is a student. Our finances have stayed fairly the same through this situation. I am still working my fast food job and have been saving for this big purchase. Yesterday I was able to order a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag ($1,580 retail) for $1,100 preloved. I have been saving for this for a long time and it is my dream purse. I don’t own any other designer items. I told my family so they could share in my excitement but everyone was beyond angry at me. My parents yelled at me for not contributing enough to the house and throwing money away on fashion items. However, I pay them rent and pay the house’s cable. They have never asked for more and it has always been clear that my leftover money after covering those expenses if for me. My sister is calling me a show off and making fun of how I will come off when wearing it. I don’t want to come off like a snob and am now reconsidering it after these comments. If I return it, I don’t know what I will put the money towards because my parents haven’t exactly asked for anything. So do you think I should return it? ######","completion":" NTA. If you specifically worked and saved up to purchase this purse, there is no reason to feel guilty. You worked hard for it. You're allowed to enjoy luxury items. It was your money not theirs, they don't get a say in your finances since you're already pulling your weight. Keep the bag and enjoy it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down. \n\nIn my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault. \n\nI gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you say you have a boyfriend, they'll keep pushing. I think many of us women have experienced it. Turning them down outright let's them know they have no chance. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer?\n\nSo, I need a lot of things delivered to me as I can't go out due to chemo and the fact that I'm currently immunocompromised has me needing a lot of things that I pay to have delivered. What I do to get my things delivered faster is add a large tip ($50.00+, I can afford it) and then it's snatched up and I get my things quicker. \n\nOnce I have the person who will deliver my things, I change the tip to $0.00, and wait until they arrive and tip them the same amount in cash. The delivery services I use take between 5 and 15% of the tip and I'm not tipping the company, I'm tipping the person who's taken time out of their day to bring me things. I've never stiffed someone, I just prefer to know that the full amount I want to tip them ends up in their pocket and I don't trust the government. I did waitressing and I never got the full tip and I know people are hurting. \n\nI mentioned it to a friend and she got angry and said that I was scamming the company and misleading my delivery people but the way I see it is that the company charges me extra for my groceries and takes a delivery fee from me, then they want to charge the deliverer. I know for a fact from all of my delivery people that they're not charged if they don't get a tip so why should I pay the company an additional amount?\n\nObviously I'll change if the company policy charges but until then, they're not taking any more from me and paying their drivers scraps. I also believe that cash is better so that's what I do. \n\nAITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer? ######","completion":" NTA. If you promise a $50 tip through the app and deliver a $50 cash tip then the driver is getting even more than they were promised. And these apps generally treat their drivers pretty terribly so to hell with giving them any more money than you have to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly\n\n\nMy(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.\n\n He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean. \n\nAs a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing. \n\nHow much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######","completion":" NTA. If you period dripped on the seat at his house he’d expect you to clean it up. It’s not your fault, and a medical condition, but I bet 1000% he’d want you to clean it up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.\n\nSo this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.\n\nA month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.\n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you need advice if things seem they might escalate or if you have any concerns, please call Karma Nirvana. They are a UK charity for exactly this sort of thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal. \n\nI walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise. \n\nThere's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town. \n\nI gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said \"Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings.\" I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....\n\nFast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once. \n\nI was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty \"job\" she's done. Her excuse? \"I was busy with homework\". I hung up the phone.\n\nI rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?\n\nI dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.\n\nIf im TA, tell me so I can make it right.\n\nTL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######","completion":" NTA. If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet and instead they clogged it and flooded your bathroom, would you pay them for that?\n\nShe didn't even feed your dog. She doesn't deserve to stay in business with that sort of work ethic, particularly since she's working with animals. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######","completion":" NTA. If you have COVID symptoms you absolutely should not be leaving the house, and neither should they, since they are in such close contact with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"When my roommate and I first moved in together we went and I adopted two cats. I paid for adoption fees then and still pay vet bills now. \n\nThe two cats are siblings and are now a bonded pair since it’s been a nearly a year or so now. She plans on moving out once our lease is up and going to college in another city. Having two cats and two people in the house was always perfect. And each of us bonded with one of the cats. \n\nThese cats love each other, I don’t know if that means anything to anyone but they do everything together. They cuddle, groom each other, play all day - they’ve been that way with one another since they were kittens. \n\nMy roommate is moving back home with her mom before she moves to college. She told me her plans to take the cat with her back home (where they have huge dogs and a mother that hates cats) and to school. While I understand why she wants to take the cat, I simply cannot and will not separate the two. Especially when I know she cannot provide the money for vet bills. \n\nOnce she told me of her plans I gave it a little time to breathe before I mentioned responsibly and respectfully that I’m not all keen for the idea. I mentioned her getting another cat to raise and love on her own but WIBTA for not letting her take the cat she bonded with? I don’t know I just wanna put the two cats connection with each other before their connection with us. ######","completion":" NtA. If you have been financially responsible for them the whole time, they're your cats. \n\nIf they are as obviously bonded as you say, then shes TA for wanting to break them apart. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96. \nWe live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members. \n\nHence, I dont have my own room in my own house.\nMy grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago. \n\nWhen the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.\n\nI am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom. \n\nSTILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you have any money saved up, or any friends that'd take you in, move out ASAP. Because your grandparents aren't getting any younger and will only need more help as time progresses. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######","completion":" NTA. If you guys are trying to figure out if you're talking about the same person, then it makes sense to include major physical descriptors like race. That doesn't make you racist. \n\nIt's not like you said he was smart and funny for being a black person (at least I hope that's not what you said). That would be racist. Perhaps there's a chance that's what your coworker thought you were getting at. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum. \n\nI, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation. \n\nThis is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained. \n\nI said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born. \n\nAITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######","completion":" NTA. If you don’t want to babysit, then don’t babysit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Looking for some other opinions to help with my perspective.\n\nMy wife saw an area rug she liked on Craigslist. It was described as in good condition and was close to where we lived. The seller was asking $40 and my wife called and asked to come see it. The seller was about 10 minutes away, and my wife arranged a time to go meet.\n\nHer story upon returning with the rug was that she arrived at the destination to find the rug on the porch and the seller not home. When she unrolled the rug to look at it, she decided it was in poor condition and not worth the seller’s asking price. To be fair, she is a career interior designer and well capable of making this determination. However, she decided to leave $5 and take the rug to use for a different purpose than initially intended.\n\nAfter she explained this to me, I insisted she return the rug or get agreement from the seller that she could have it for her $5 offer. I explained that taking something that was not hers for a not agreed on price was theft and, regardless of how inconvenienced she felt, it did not give her the right to unilaterally decide on all the terms of the sale without the sellers consent. Her claim is that the seller was inconsiderate for not being there at the agreed time and making false claims about the condition of the rug gave her the right to take it for whatever price she felt acceptable.\n\nShe wound up returning the rug but treating me horridly for more than a week for ”not backing her” in this situation. I will add that she did all of this in front of our teenaged daughters and I felt strongly it set a very poor example. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. If you don’t like the the price or the condition, don’t buy. You don’t get to unilaterally decide on a new price without the seller’s consent. It was a dick move for the seller to not be there at the agreed on time, but it doesn’t justify theft. \n\nDid your wife bother to call the seller when she got there? ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few days ago, one of my friends (who lives less than a half a mile away from me) sent me a picture of the sky because it was super dark. And here is the ensuring conversation verbatim:\n\nFriend: it's going to storm really bad\nMe: I don't think it'll be that bad but I'm still excited\nF: dude go fuck yourself\nM: ???\nF: it's rude to be excited for storms because they give other people really bad anxiety and panic attacks (goes on to divert conversation to book they're reading)\n\nAnd I'm confused because they know I absolutely love storms and find solace in them. Even when there are tornadoes sirens going off, I enjoy them. I am aware that my friend doesn't enjoy storms but should that really stop me from even talking about my love for them? ######","completion":" NTA. If you could't be excited about anything that gives other people anxiety you couldn't be excited about ANYTHING. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife wants us to compete in a weight loss competition, so it can make it easier for her.\n \nThe thing is, I can’t healthily lose any weight. I’m just 5 pounds from being underweight. I still do work out to become more fit, but I don’t lose weight.\n \nMy wife is slightly overweight. She wants to come down to a healthier level, which I wholeheartedly support. But, I can’t bring myself to compete in something that I can’t possibly win at. My wife thinks that this is unfair, and that is competing will make it easier for her.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If you are already so close to being underweight, there is no reason at all for you to try and compete. Perhaps come up with a fun alternative to help her with her weight loss, like instead of a competition, you can both workout together three times a week or cook healthy dinners together. It sounds like she might just need some oxternal motivation to help her reach her goal. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me [18M] and my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for 2 and a half years. We trust and love each other a ton. I have nude photos of her on my phone. My twin sister [18F] a few days ago snooped through my phone and found the pictures. I'm angry at her for invading me and my girlfriend's privacy, and feel guilty for not better protecting my phone and thus exposing my girlfriend. I have since put a passlock on my phone as well as the folder with her naked pictures. \n\n\nMy sister says she snooped cause she was bored, wanted to see my pictures, and accidentally stumbled upon the nudes. I suspect she may have looked for my gf's nudes on purpose but either way its fucked up.  As far as I know, she didn't see my nudes (hopefully yikes). My sister is gay and has a girlfriend [17F] of almost a year. I'll call my sister \"M\". Since then M has been making a lot of comments on the pictures and my girlfriend to me. This really upsets me and I think its super disrespectful. Things she has said include:\n\n\n\" Damn she's hot, a solid 9\"\n\"Her boobs are almost as nice as mine\"\n\"If I was single, I could get with her\"\n\"She has a nice pussy\"\n\"You don't deserve that body\"\n\n\nI keep telling her to shut the fuck and stop disrespecting my girlfriend but she wouldn't stop. So I told her if she keeps making these comments I'd tell her girlfriend what she's doing but she didn't believe me and didn't stop. So I texted her girlfriend a screenshot of some of the creepy stuff M has texted me about my girlfriend and told her what M was doing.\n\n\nM is now furious at me because her gf got super mad at her. She says I might have cost her, her relationship.\n\n\nI didn't and don't want to tell my parents as I didn't want to out my sister as gay to them, and they would flip out if they knew I was exchanging nudes \n\n\nDid I overreact or go overkill involving her girlfriend? ######","completion":" NTA. If want to know I'd my gf\/bf was speaking like that about others ######"}
{"prompt":"I was dating my wife for 8 years before I proposed. We lived together for most of that time and it just didn't feel like it would make any difference. Finally I proposed and just a month after the proposal we found out that she was pregnant. With that discovery we decided to postpone plans to get married until after he was born and everything was settled in a bit.\n\nFast forward to our wedding with our baby. While we had him by our side for the majority of it, every now and then a family member would volunteer to watch him for a short bit. Queue my wife's mother saying that she wanted to watch him for a little while.\n\nNow I can tell many stories about why the MIL is not a responsible adult, but I'll keep it simple for the sake of this post. I thought it'd be fine since there were people everywhere and in my head \"I had to start trusting her at some point\". I was wrong and I'm happy that it stayed as tame as it did.\n\nMy son was teething and gave her a small bite on the MILs arm. I didn't see it but apparently she put him into the wet grass and just walked away saying \"shit, he's lucky I didn't throw him\". She left him there with no one close by watching him. My mother saw this from a distance and scooped him up. She told me about it later.\n\nSo... I didn't much trust this person beforehand but the event solidified my stance. It's been four years now. I never talked to the MIL about what happened. I just told the wife that the MIL will never watch him or even be left alone in the same room as him. She wasn't happy about it but didn't argue against it either. When the MIL has offered to watch him I dance around the issue and I think that she has gotten wise to the fact that even though I'm friendly to her, I wouldn't trust her to make a sandwich for my son let alone watch him.\n\nAll of this has soured relations a bit but frankly, that hasn't changed anything for me. So... AITA for never letting the MIL watch her grandson? ######","completion":" NTA. If things happened as you've said your MiL cannot be left in charge of a child. They are unpredictable and can throw tantrums or be upset. Is her reaction to a tantrum in a mall going to be to just walk away again?\n\nYour wife is on your side, if only just. On some level she must know about her mother's questionable behaviour or she may be in the fog. Might be worthwhile checking out r\/justnomil. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021. \n\nI’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.\n\nMy fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.\n\nAfterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.\n\nHe claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.\n\nHe got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If they're like this now, can you imagine what they'd be like around your future mixed children?? If he cannot stand up for you and have the courage to tell them that they better knock it off or it's no contact, then I don't know, but that would be a deal-breaker for me. (experience with my white father and Asian mother and dad's racist parents - he cut off from his family and stayed by my mother's side) ######"}
{"prompt":"I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie. \n\nToday I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that. \n\nI called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.\n\nObviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.\n\nThey called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her). \n\nNow they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If they're divorced, your dad should get his own account. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######","completion":" NTA. If they wanted to keep it between them and their marriage they shouldn’t have involved you at all. But since you witnessed the affair, and since you are their child, it now becomes your business. You’re allowed to have an opinion on it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. If they say they’re not drinking your milk they should have nothing to worry about right? ######"}
{"prompt":"So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing). \nTwo years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.\n\nCut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony. \n\nNow three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If they carry on send them the screen shot you were sent and ask them why would they be invited to a dungeon wedding full of scary music and lettus as they clearly hate that. 2 faced people are the worst. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m sure I’d be TA here but I wanted to double check because I’m an idiot.\nI gave my girlfriends nephew $800 for his class trip. The trip cost around $2400USD &amp; I felt generous after hearing his parents were struggling to meet the monthly payments. I gave it to him in private and really adore this kid. \n\nNow, his class trip has been cancelled. His mother and father now have possession of the money and intend on using for their own purposes. \nThe money was a gift to him, not their family. \n\nWIBTA if I asked for the money back? If not, I’m lost as to how to bring it up without coming across as a douchebag BIL.\n\nEdit: it appears the money may be allocated towards a family vacation. Not sure how that changes people’s opinions. ######","completion":" NTA. If they aren’t classy and decent enough to give it back or ask what you would like done with the money now that the trip has been canceled, you are well within your right to ask for it back. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######","completion":" NTA. If they are sharing gruesome pics from work without written patient consent, it’s also illegal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m in charge of a team of people (industrial designers, if it matters) whose jobs involve daily meetings with others in the company to collaborate on projects and usually two or three clients to touch base on progress. \n\nI jumped onto a client discussion recently to check in on a large project, and to my surprise found the person responsible for the call in a tank top in their living room. We usually do business in a pretty formal setting, when we typically come to work the most casual we get are jeans button downs\/polos\/sweaters, though a lot of times we need to go full jacket and tie\/blouse and blazer. \n\nSo I sent an email out basically saying “Reminder as we all adjust to this new meeting format, use a plain background free from clutter and wear what you normally would for the same meeting in person.” \n\nI immediately got angry emails that I’m not being compassionate enough and it shouldn’t matter because the clients\/other employees know we’re at home and that further I can’t control what they do at home. \n\nIf I worked at any other job I’d think “Huh, I guess I was out of line to request this.” But I work with some people who are prone to being a little over sensitive, maybe because they’re mostly new to the working world. \n\nAm I the asshole for asking them to dress up for virtual meetings? ######","completion":" NTA. If they are meeting among themselves I believe it would be okay for them to be a little lax in dress, but when meeting clients they should be dressed as they normally would be in person. It does not matter that the client knows they are working from home. It shows the client that they only dress the part for work and not because they respect the client. In other words, you usually have a dress code as a way to portray professionalism. It also shows the client you take them(and yourself) seriously. If your team members are in tank tops during client meetings it shows the client that they are not invested in the relationship the company has with the client. It’s about professionalism and respect. \n\nTl;dr. Should be professional and respectful  in client meetings and maintain dress code. Meetings among team members could probably be a bit lax. ######"}
{"prompt":"Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc. \n \nI had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card.\n \nMy ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity.\n \nA couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If these services were that important to her, she had six months to save up the money to purchase them for herself. You did nothing wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy. \n\nHe said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste. \n\nHowever, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting. \n\nI usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends. \n\nI wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ######","completion":" NTA. If there's food left over after the date then sharing it with his friends is NBD, but to do it beforehand seems inconsiderate to say the least. It sounds like he's telling you what his priorities are. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice. \n\nTLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######","completion":" NTA. If there was a video of me out there, I would want to know. Make it clear that you are not judging, it is completely her business and you're not telling anyone about it. You are only bringing it up because you don't think she is aware of the video, and if the roles were reversed you would want someone to tell you. There is really no way around the conversation being extremely awkward, but she does deserve to know ######"}
{"prompt":"My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat. \n\nMy family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If the vet says he’s healthy keep doing what you’re doing.\n\nThere are cats that you can leave food out for and they will eat only when hungry... and then you have chonko cats who feel the need to eat everything in front of them.\n\nYour cat meows and cries because he KNOWS someone will feed him. They’re reinforcing that behavior. When he gets whiny try distracting with playtime or toys or catnip or pets rather than food. ######"}
{"prompt":"This argument happened over FaceTime but it was pretty big and my dad is furious at me and has been sending angry text messages so I’m taking it here. \n\nI (32M) was FaceTiming my dad (57M) and his girlfriend (27F) on Tuesday when they surprised me that my dad had proposed. I don’t like my dads girlfriend and to be honest I think she’s only with him because he’s fairly well off. My dad cheated on my mum with the girlfriend and I’ve heard she was pretty ruthless in going after my dad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I held my tongue and congratulated them and that was that. \n\nLater that day I was skimming Facebook and his girlfriend has written this long Facebook post saying how excited she was to be getting married and that after 10 years together, she didn’t think he’d ever propose, how it had been a difficult start and lots of people didn’t accept their relationship (no shit, he was married) but she hopes everyone can be happy and accept they’re in love.\n\nThis pissed me off. She didn’t accept my parents were in love when she pursued my dad did she? So I commented saying maybe she would’ve been engaged before now if she had started dating a single man instead of running after married men. \n\nMy dad FaceTimed me this morning and BLEW UP saying he’d noticed his girlfriend upset and she’d eventually said something. Apparently she deleted the status but lots of people saw it. My dad is furious at me and says I need to apologise. I probably didn’t help by asking if she would apologise to me for ruining my family and destroying my mother. \n\nMy dad is now saying unless the next thing he hears from me is an apology, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I mentioned this to my girlfriend (32F) and she’s very diplomatic and doesn’t say anyone is an asshole so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong and should just apologise.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If the girlfriend can shamelessly publicly post like that after all they’ve done, then she deserves the post to be exposed like that. People who can cheat that badly don’t deserve the benefit of doubt.\n\n10 years?? Doesn’t that mean that she was 17 and your dad was 47??? ######"}
{"prompt":"i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ######","completion":" NTA. If someone you're in a relationship has no problem treating your possessions like trash, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.\n\nAlso, if she never wants to spend time with you anyway and would rather just use her phone, why are you two even dating? ######"}
{"prompt":"I got a Johnny Walker black label I usually share with people that don't like whiskey or wanna mix it with coke.\n\nI currently live overseas so I only have a couple of bottles of a bourbon I particularly like. It's very expensive where I live and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to the States to get more.\n\nWIBTA if I tell my friend she can't have my bourbon if she mixes it? ######","completion":" NTA. If someone told me this is super expensive liquor and I don’t share, I’d shrug and say ok. Ok well I would maybe ask if I could try the tinsiest sip to say I’ve tried it, but I wouldn’t be pissed if that was a no. Alcohol is expensive!! Though if you offer and she says “yeah with coke” and then you say “oh you can’t have it then” that comes off pretentious and a bit rude. Ask how they take their whiskey first before deciding which to offer. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (preteen age) loves this TV show (I’m going to be vague for anonymity) and I applied on a whim. We got invited on the show and did some fun competitions for an episode. We didn’t win but my daughter still talks about it all the time.\n\nMy daughters father is not very involved. He shows up with ridiculous presents every once in a while but we don’t hear from him unless I encourage my daughter to call him. If it weren’t for his child support check showing up once a month, I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive. He and I don’t talk. \n\nI didn’t tell him about the show. The way I see it is that I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter and I don’t need his permission for anything. However, he found out about the show from his father (my daughter told him) and called me yelling at me for taking her on the show and not asking for his consent. He accused me of exploiting her for fame and misusing his child support. I ended up hanging up on him because he wouldn’t stop yelling. Am I the asshole for taking her on the show without telling or asking him? ######","completion":" NTA. If someone isn't involved with the kid, they aren't involved in decisions regarding the kid. It sounds like your daughter enjoyed it and she is happy about the experience. That's the only person's opinion who should matter in this case. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry this is long ... Anyway, I was once happily married with a newborn baby. \nMy sister on the other hand is a heroin addict and found herself evicted from her house and child services found her children malnourished and emaciated after having missed 92 days of school so they were taken from her.\nSo I took her into my home.\nOnce there, I had a long heart to heart with her and I told her I was going to pay for her to go to rehab. I took out a hefty personal loan to fund this, which I am still paying off.\nAfter her stint in rehab she had to be signed into the care of somebody who was responsible for keeping her clean, once again I was all too happy to do it. The day she came home with me, she prostituted herself to my husband for drug money and overdosed that day.\nMy marriage effectively ended and she ended up dating him for several months! \n7 years have passed now and I have heard from my family that she has now turned her life around and is a strong member of her local church and has even been baptized. They have been hounding me and hounding me that I should reach out to her and try to mend our relationship.\nIm just not buying it. I feel like this is all just an angle she's playing and she hasn't changed at all, but now it's like I'm the asshole for not reaching out to the woman who destroyed my life because \"she's changed\" ######","completion":" NTA. If she’s so “changed” she should be reaching out to you begging for forgiveness! ######"}
{"prompt":"During high school, I (F) was experimenting with my style and found that I was more comfortable in men's clothing. I started wearing suites a lot and love colorful ties and bow ties. My Mum is super conservative and obsessed with gender roles and went a while where she couldn't look at me without crying. When I decided to shave my head she wouldn't even look at me. \n\nEventually I started seeing her again but she is always twitchy and nervous, solely due to the fact that I was wearing men's clothing. She refused to even talk to me until I took my tie off, which is really upsetting to me, and I was tired of bending to her whims, so I told her that I would not take my tie off unless she took her bracelet off, which she was visibly hurt by. She said that I was being unreasonable and silly, and that she just needed time, yet she has had over two years by now. She still won't even call me by the correct name.\n\nI feel guilty whenever I kind of prod her into accepting me, because she seems so fundamentally hurt by who I am. AITA for not wearing women's clothing around her and making her take off something if she wants me to take my tie off? ######","completion":" NTA. If she's hurt by who you are, she's the problem. You shouldn't have to comprimise. You're not prodding her into accepting you, she's trying to change you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want \"chemicals\" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.   \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSome of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.  \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nBut some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.   \nThey also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.  \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer\/not vaccinated? ######","completion":" NTA. If she works in the facility near babies and kids I think you should report to her place of work that she admired to not have been vaccinated. If her place of work even cares about this. Bc here not being vaccinated can lead to those kids and babies losing their lives... it her choice of not vaccinated. If you want you can show her those facebook groups of people who regret never vaccinating their kids and themselves after loosing their own kids due to the other kid carrying a preventable diseases that they passed along to their baby siblings or parents doing that to their babies\/kids. I didn’t stay in that page long it’s just heartbreaking. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my Ex has been kind of rude and inconsiderate to me even before we broke up. She decided to cheat on me while i was mourning the loss of my Dad and during the week of my birthday (sucks ass) her \"birthday present\" to me was telling me in detail about her fucking 3 guys that week. I know it sounds crazy and like it belongs in thathappened, but bear with me.\n\nSo onto the story: Last week I looked at my bank account and noticed that a charge had been made for close to $40 of wendys on Postmates. The only person that could have done it was this Ex. I called them up to ask, what the hey man, they said, \"oh yeah that was me lol\" and trash talked me to her friends that were with her while I was on the phone. I just wanted the $40 back, wasn't rude just wanted a refund. I tried to get in contact with her on multiple platforms, where she read the messages and ignored them. I ended up calling my bank to report it as fraud and gave them my ex's info.\n\nI low-key feel like the asshole as she may lose her job over this. She works at a bank. My S\/O has told me that, she's a grown woman and knows better than to use other people's info, ESPECIALLY if they work at a bank.\n\nAITA?\n\nTL,DR: my ex used my credit cart to buy $40 dollars worth of food, refused to pay me back. I reported her for fraud and not feel like TA cuz she may lose her job. ######","completion":" NTA. If she works at a bank she definitely knows better. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup. \n\nOne of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.\n\nEvery time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.\n\nLast week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.\n\nOn the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said \"Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?\"\n\nShe was like \"did you come here just for this?\" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.\n\nShe got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.\n\nThe cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.\n\nLucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.\n\nI feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.\n\nAITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######","completion":" NTA. If she was sincere about paying her share she'd have been thankful for that reminder. The fact that she got pissed off meant that she never intended to pay her share. Ain't nobody got time for leeches.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the award! ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, this is on discord. I’m 18 and my little sister is 12. I recently came upon a server that she’s in, and found out that she had been telling people she was 17. That really didn’t sit right with me, especially considering she was talking to a boy who was 18. They keep flirting and it’s making me worry about her safety, putting herself out there like that when she’s so young. I’ve been thinking about messaging the staff of the server quietly and also telling the boy, but I don’t want to make it a public matter. The reason I’m making this post is that I’m worried that I’ll damage her friendships with people and\/or my own relationship with her. I don’t know if this is the right course of action. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she was just claiming to be 13 to get round discord's age limit I'd tell you to leave it but claiming to be 17 and flirting with an adult is too dangerous for her to be allowed to continue. Both for her and for the guy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class. \nTill this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character. \nAITA ?? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wants you to come to her doctor's appointments (or anything else) then she needs to schedule it for a time that works for both of you.\n\nIt's a huge display of immaturity for her to still try to hold this against you. Next time she brings it up you should ask her why this is her go to incident.\n\nTalk it out with her. Maybe she was really scared and didn't have the words to tell you how important it was for you to be there. Maybe she just thinks that you are wrong. Maybe she thinks you aren't supportive of her. But you would be better off if you found out her reasoning and asked her to discuss what she's trying to accomplish by bringing that back up again and again. She probably feels like it's an unresolved or ongoing issue in your relationship.\n\nBut if it bothers you then you need to either find a way to resolve this or back out of the relationship. Because what she is doing is not right. And if you guys can't resolve this now then it's going to continue to be a problem later. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.\n\nShe stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing.  Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.\n\nI thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom.  \"Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime\"\n\nShe nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said \"no\".\n\nMy husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me \"well thats still his mom\", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wants to have a relationship with her bio son, then she needs to put in the work. And if he wants nothing to do with her? Then that's his business. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food. \n\nThis upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.\n\nAm I being unfair here? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wants to eat a different diet from the rest of the family, then she needs to make her own meals. I went through the same thing as a teenager, and it was no big deal. It actually helped foster a love for cooking and got me ready for the big wide world. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)\n\nI (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us. \n\nI'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking \"old.\" She has had botox\/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes\/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.\n\nSince getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles. \n\nWe argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it. \n\nRecently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.\n\nTL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wants to constantly play that weird age game then she had it coming. Especially when she basically shamed you afterwards too. Seems like she got real full of herself after that surgery ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody.\n\nFast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday.\n\nJob would be simple and anybody could do it from home. \n\nThat weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down. \n\nThe next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday. \n\nMonday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days.\n\nI called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me.\n\nAm I the asshole for making this choice? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wanted work, she could have easily rescheduled appointments. Medical appointments, I could empathize as there is often a long wait for those. But hair appointments? Nope. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife has wanted a vegetable garden in our backyard. Now that it's starting to warm up I thought I would try to tackle something this weekend. I did some research online, looked up some designs, and tried to show my wife to get her input. She would only give me short answers and told me just to make something nice and show her when I had a plan. I mapped out our backyard and did some measurements, started planting some flags so she had a frame of reference, and called her out to the backyard to talk to her. The entire time I was trying to show her the design and get her opinions she was either on her phone, playing with our dog, playing with our kids, or just being randomly inattentive (\"oh I like the flowers the neighbors planted\"). I got fed up and asked her if she wanted a garden or not. She said yes, what I have is fine (she didnt look) and went inside. This morning I went to the store and bought about $200 in tools and supplies (not even building materials to start yet) and when I get home she asks me why I spent so much. I told her I needed the stuff we had and asked her how much she thought we would spend. She told me no more than $500 and I told her that's extremely unrealistic (it's a 15x15 foot garden with fencing surrounding it, gravel paths, and above ground planter boxes). I told her we could have figured this out before I spent $200 if she hadn't blown me off. She told me she didn't and I told her I'm just going to cancel the project and not do it. Am I an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. If she wanted a garden badly enough she should have done it herself, and if she expected you to do it then she should have had a very clear conversation with you beforehand on her expectations for said garden. You were just trying to be helpful and give her what she wanted and she was ignoring you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just turned 23 last week. My friend said that she would treat me to a meal, so we met up in a mall during the weekends. For context, we make around the same money. She is a rather conservative with money while I am all for spending as long as it's worth.\n\n\nOriginally I wanted to eat Korean BBQ buffet, but my friend said that it was expensive and not worth the price(About $35 per person), so we went to another restaurant of her choice. \n\n\nBesides the main dish($17), I ordered another soup($6) and strawberry milkshake($6). My friend, after seeing my order, asked me to cancel it off because they are side dishes and desserts not worth the money. She also suggested that I should order chicken salad($12) like her too, as they are healthy and lesser expensive. \n\n\nIt was then that I felt that she is just killing the mood, it isn't even that expensive. I offered to pay for us instead. She started to argue that it was supposed to be her treat but I shut it down and confirmed my order, then tapped into the payment mode scanned my card before she could react, paying for both of us. I told her that it's alright, she could order more, I'll pay and we'd both enjoy our meals together. She did not order anything else.\n\n\nAfter the meal she complained that now she had to buy me something for my birthday because I did not let her pay for the meal. I shrugged it off and changed the topic. I sure do hope she doesn't mention it again, but my mother after hearing what I did told me that what I did was really rude and I should apologise to her. Maybe I will, this isn't worth fighting over, but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she only wanted to spend $12 on you for your birthday, that is her business, but she should have either (a) bought you a gift that was $12 (sounds like she couldn't be bothered), (b) taken you somewhere that would never come to more than $12, rather than somewhere you had to order the cheapest thing and no drinks\/sides, or (c) at least made it clear that she could only afford to buy your main course\/contribute $12 to your meal, without policing what else you were allowed to get. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory apologies for being a mobile user and the rest of the blah blah blah.\n\nMy wife is pregnant with our first child, and I’m very happy. The other day, we’re having a conversation about the family around us and making plans, it was nice. Then it was mentioned about my father, who would obviously be ‘Grandad’ to the bump, and his wife.\n\nA little background; my fathers wife and I do not get along, she’s a bully, and petty, and used to make me miserable to live at home, so much so that I joined the army the day after my birthday as a young teen to get away.\n\nNow, because of this, I said that I didn’t want my children to call her ‘Nan’ but refer to her as her first name, as I do.\n\nMy wife says that I shouldn’t be this way, and that I’m an asshole for not wanting to allow our bump to feel like they have a full, supportive family network around them. She also expressed the concern that other kids may poke fun at bump when bump mentions visiting ‘Grandad and Firstname’ rather than ‘Grandad and Nan’ \n\nBut for me, I feel that a title of privilege like that should be earned, and that she hasn’t show that she should be granted that title.\n\nAm I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. If she never liked you and didn’t treat you like a mother, you don’t owe her access to your child and for her to be a nan. My grandpa remarried after my grandma died and she was [first name], not nan. Not out of malicious intent but we didn’t have that kind of relationship. My peers never had trouble understanding that my grandpa’s second wife wasn’t my grandma. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home. \nIn the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.\nShe wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.\nWe don’t hear from\nher until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?\nAm i the asshole for not eating the shit \/ then not venmoing her? ######","completion":" NTA. If she left the stuff in your fridge and she’s some rando girl it’s definitely not your problem. Super weird that she was their all day and drinking and I’m assuming driving?? ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandmother is a very stubborn person.She never thinks she is wrong and get emotional when I call her out on her behavior.\n\nShe loves cooking,its tasty food but there is only so much I can eat, I get full very quickly compared to others in my family. She frequently makes different types of food for us to eat and I politely refuse because I can't eat anymore, but she doesn't take no for an answer and keep telling me to eat it. She wont stop telling me to eat the food. I got mad at yelled at her I told her I am the one who decide what I want to eat and she can't force it down my throat. This made her sad and complained to my mom about my attitude.\nI think I am in the wrong but her stubbornness is driving me crazy \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she is trying to force you to eat, when you say no, she is a major ah.\n\nPut her in time out since she wants to be so toxic. Grandma's don't get special treatment.  If anything they should listen to you more than your parents,  not less. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.\n\nWhat she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of \"mini gang\" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just \"get over it\". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.\n\nI was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.\n\nI had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she got to 23 and doesn't understand that her bullying was wrong, she might still be a bully. Red flag. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed\/give water\/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine. \n\nWhen I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush? \n\nProblem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush. \n\nI didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping. \n\nThat was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising\/not telling her? ######","completion":" NTA. If she didn’t decide to rearrange your cupboards then surely she wouldn’t have found the brush? I also don’t understand the logic behind her choosing to use that brush... surely it looked used, as you’ve used it to clean the litter box. So why did a different (clearly used) brush seem better than the one already in the sink? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.\n\nMy Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.\n\nThrough a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.\n\nOur mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she didn't give money for the ticket, there is no obligation for anything. That's just pests coming out of the woodwork. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate regularly borrows my car and leaves my car keys in her purse.  I had an errand to run and my keys were not on the hook in the kitchen they belong on.  I went to look in her purse figuring my keys were in there (they were) and she got mad I looked in her purse.  I told her if she didn't want me looking in her purse don't leave my car keys in there and if that was too hard she couldn't borrow my car anymore.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If she can’t be decent enough to return your keys to you or the hook after you’re decent enough to let her borrow your car, you have every right to go looking for your keys when you need them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum. \n\nI, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation. \n\nThis is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained. \n\nI said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born. \n\nAITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######","completion":" NTA. If she can talk about her potential future children, you can talk about your potential future nieces and nephews. ######"}
{"prompt":"I grew up with \"Uncle\" and \"Aunt\" siblings. My brother Rob is 42, my sister Patricia is 39. I am \\[Winona\\] 20F.   \nMy brother has a 19-year-old daughter \\[Gina\\] whom I call my sister. We are close. We currently live together and attend the same Uni. We go on a lot of trips together and talk on the phone for hours. She's seriously my best friend.   \nI have a niece \\[Lilly\\] and a nephew \\[Parker\\] who are 8 and 10.   \nPatricia doesn't take the time to call or get to know me. When we are in the same location, she is really dismissive of my interests. She commonly tells me that I sound like a child when I talk *or* that I need to grow up because it was much harder for her when she was a kid.   \nWe all went on a cruise together two years back. I was 19, Gina was 18, and we spent the whole time doing whatever we wanted and staying up until 3 am. Which was super fun!   \nAt the end of the trip, Gina and I posted all the pictures we took. Most of them were with our parents or people we met on the ship, or just stupid faces together. We also had a lot of landscapes and day trips we did.   \nI took zero pictures of Patricia and her family. They acted like we weren't there most of the time unless she wanted us to babysit her kids \\[which we said no to\\].   \nShe got upset when she figured out that we had taken pictures of everyone else and not her family or her kids. She is not big on doing photography herself and claimed \\[since we went on some daytrips together\\] that I would include her kids. I told her that I didn't feel like she viewed me as a sister so why would I want her in my family pictures.   \nShe cried. ######","completion":" NTA. If pictures were that important to her, she should have brought a camera. And it seemed that she only asks about you if she needs something. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (26F) and almost 7 months pregnant (2 days away), I thankfully still have my job. Sadly my fiancé (32M) was laid off, due to his job not being essential. \n\n I have even taken extra days to be able to support us and still have money when baby comes. Today is day 19 of me working without a day off (my boss always checks in with me to make sure I’m okay and still healthy to work, they are the best). \n\n Fiancé hasn’t been able to get a temporary job, therefore I believe at the very least his job, for the time being, is to keep our place in order and clean. He says it’s both our job. If we weren’t in our current situation he would definitely be right, but I’m not only working all week (and seeing how the “stay at home” order keeps getting extended I might not have a “break” until baby comes)but I’m also almost in my third trimester of pregnancy. \n\n I’ve pretty much have gone through every possible pregnancy symptom, and there is not one day of complete peace, once one symptom finally goes away another pops up to replace it. I believe he is being selfish, that he truly doesn’t understand what I’m going through. \n\n Why is so difficult to keep our place clean, even when it comes to cooking, I HAVE to help him. I get off work and I still can’t relax. Meanwhile when I’m at work I’m sure he is online playing video games with his friends. It’s so infuriating.\n\n It’s come to me constantly snapping at him because he is in his care free world. According to him I’m an asshole, just because I’m working everyday and pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t help him clean. ######","completion":" NTA. If one person works, the other should keep the house running. ######"}
{"prompt":"I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.\n\nMy sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples. \n\nPersonally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.\n\nI am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.\n\nI am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If nothing else she left the conversation knowing she has an older sibling who loves her and will support her ######"}
{"prompt":"I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).\n\nLast week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.\n\nBeginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.\n\nThis morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because \"we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now\". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident. \n\nI came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If money is so tight they have to steal from their kid they should NOT be going to a fucking ski resort. People like this make me sick.\nr\/narcissisticparents ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t\/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######","completion":" NTA. If its litterally hurting your ears than she should try to quieter ######"}
{"prompt":"Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.\n\nAbout half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.\n\nWhen he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.\n\nI’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone\/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is\/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.\n\nFWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying\/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######","completion":" NTA. If it’s not necessary that you each know where the other is, then I suggest you get up and leave without telling him where you’re going at all and see how he responds when you return a few hours later. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters. \n\nOnly one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes. \n\nI tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out. \n\nHe's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######","completion":" NTA. If it's you openly don't get along with her then she shouldn't be expecting a gift from you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year. \n\nI don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.\n\nI bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me. \n\nAs for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as \"house stuff\" but luggage has never been one of them. \n\nAITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######","completion":" NTA. If it were only on occasion (once or twice a year) that would be one thing (but its 4 or 5 times a year its reasonable to suggest they get their own luggage. Or perhaps they can buy the set off of you? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely.\n\nMy boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA?\n\nEDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50\/50!  ######","completion":" NTA. If it was me in this situation, I wouldn't allow any exes, his or mine, to live with us. If he insisted, he'd end up with two ex-girlfriends. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######","completion":" NTA. If it only takes him 2 months to make that much, then he can wait 2 months to buy a house ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller. \n\nI (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying. \n\nI got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea. \n\nTurns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff. \n\nWe have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If it hadn't worked out, both of you would be devastated. Instead, you took the logical move to see whether it might be a good idea. As far as I see, you haven't made the decision to change the job without her. If you had it would be reasonable that she could be angry since you have both planned goals and changes in job affect that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is more of an “Are *We* The Assholes”, because I’m speaking for everyone participating minus the friend in question. \n\nWe’re currently in the early stages of planning our trip to Japan for next year (fingers crossed things are safe enough by then). This will be our second group trip to Japan, the first one being last year (which the friend in question chose not to come on, and even openly doubted that we’d be capable of successfully organizing it). \n\nAnyway, now that the planning stage is upon us again, he’s decided that he wants to come this time, and took the liberty of inviting his girlfriend along without consulting any of us first.\n\nThis left pretty much all of us with a sour taste; not because we don’t like his girlfriend’s company, but because, like the last trip obviously was, this trip was also conceptualized as a guys trip. So today I volunteered to be the one to speak up about it to him, and he’s not taking it so smoothly. \n\nI tried not to be blatantly confrontational; I said that although this was meant to be a guys trip, we still don’t want to tell anyone they can’t come. So we want to try and find a middle ground, and we think that there should be another Airbnb separate from the guys Airbnb so that everyone’s comfortable. And that we can still plan our outings together etc.\n\nHe doesn’t seem to understand that what he wants to do conflicts with our collective intention of having a guys trip, and has objected to all our reasoning. I feel like we’re not in the wrong at the end of the day, but I’m trying to keep an open mind to different perspectives in case there’s somehow something that I’m missing here. Thanks for your time ######","completion":" NTA. If I was the only woman going on a vacation I would for sure feel more comfortable renting a place with my significant other for just ourselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######","completion":" NTA. If I was a parent and got no answer from my kid after knocking a few times, I would absolutely enter the room. You might fear the worst. Or maybe I'm just neurotic. \n\nEither way, he'll get over it. He'll laugh about it with his mates in a couple of years. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nSo, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.\nRight now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If his mother would be ashamed of his actions that speaks to his assholeness, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and fake names \n\nA couple of my friends hung out recently (where we live in a place with less than a hundred cases and masks are still required) \n\nOne of my friends, Dylan came with his new girlfriend Ann, who happens to be black, to introduce us to her which we were all fine with and knew beforehand. \n\nI’m more of an introverted person and Ann is the opposite. When met for lunch, she was loud and boisterous. She spoke over people, yelled at the staff, *reached over to my plate*,and at one point she even tried to dance on the table. \n\nI found it all very inappropriate and didn’t talk much for the rest of our lunch. Dylan kept on excusing her behavior throughout and my other friends didn’t seem to mind. \n\nWhen Dylan asked us what I thought about her I told the truth half jokingly and said she was a bit noisy and rude and I personally wouldn’t want to hang out with her. I did clarify that she might be a nice girl but our personalities would clash. \n\nDylan got really upset with this, and accused me of being racist and calling his girlfriend ghetto. A couple of my friends supported this, and I tried to explain that I didn’t like her because of her personality not her race but they seem to believe that the two are somehow intertwined. He’s acting like I dislike her BECAUSE she’s black and like I can’t dislike a black person because I’m white. \n\nI was going to let it slide and apologize until Dylan said something along the lines of, “she can’t help it, that’s how they are” which I thought was racist to stereotype and told him so. \n\nI left soon after and I’ve been getting nonstop calls from my friend group, telling me that I’m the scum of the earth and I should apologize with one of them even going on twitter to post about exposing the racists in your friend group. \n\nI believe I did not do anything racist but I need an outside perspective. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If his girlfriend were white but with the same personality, you would react the same. Also, I agree with you on Dylan being racist in stereotyping black women. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.\n\nTDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed\n\nSide note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s  stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######","completion":" NTA. If he's punishing kids for \"hiding food\" sounds like he needs to do a better job providing enough for everyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26f) and my fiancé (27m) moved out of my father's house. Now to get context. \n\nMy father was not really a father to me growing up. He would mentally abuse me and sometimes verbally. We even got into fist fights.\n\nMy fiancé moved and my father tried playing \"I'm a good guy\". A week later, when the lockdown starte, he started showing his true colours. When my fiancé nor my dad could work, I begged for food parcels and so did my fiancé. My father refused to beg. \n\nThen my fiancé found another job and began our search for a different place to stay. In the meantime, my father was also getting money in from asking friends and family but that money never went into the house. No food bought etc. My fiancé spent most of his money making sure we atleast have enough to eat till the next food parcel. My father was enjoying his chips and sweets. \n\nWe found a place and moved out immediately. I had also went and changed the address for the food parcels. My stepmom asked me if the food parcel is going to go to them and I said that dad needs to apply for the food parcel. They aren't happy with it.\n\nAITA for changing the address to the food parcels? ######","completion":" NTA. If he's not ready to do anything to get food, why should you be responsible for it. Especially if he's such a dick towards you (and has been for a long time). ######"}
{"prompt":"Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity. \n\nI had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together. \n\nNow that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox. \n\nAITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ######","completion":" NTA. If he's crappy enough of a dad to refuse to visit your daughter (or even just pick her up from the house) because you have a cat, then she's probably better off without him. He no longer lives with you and doesn't get a say in what pets you have. Enjoy your sweet little kitten. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.\n\nI told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.\n\nI didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.\n\nAfter he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked. \n\nI waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3\" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1\/4\")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.\n\nHe yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a \"hot shot\" because i was measuring things.\n\nSo be honest please. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If he were hanging a picture crooked? Fine, doesn't hurt anyone. But when you're literally building something on to the house? Yeah, that should probably be done the right way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If he wants to use your room he has to treat it with respect. \nINFO: why does he feel the need to use your room? ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year, before this craziness, but my ex is still angry about it.\n\nMy son is in high school. His school has a heavily discounted drivers ed program that they run twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. My son's father and I agreed that he would take that program because it was designed around school hours and much less expensive. My son qualified to take the program in the spring, and could get his license at the beginning of June. If he didn't take it in the spring, he couldn't get his license until January.\n\nMy son lives with me most of the time and goes to his dad's every other weekend. While he was at his dad's, he was picking on his half sister and his dad decided to punish him by telling him he couldn't take drivers ed until the fall. He did not consult me on this.\n\nI was very upset when he told me this and asked him to change the punishment. He refused because he felt he would undermine his own authority. I pointed out that this punishment made my life harder, because that was 6 more months that I would have to drive him to school, extracurriculars, friends' houses etc. He still refused to change the punishment, so I told him that I was going to pay for drivers ed on my own. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't work with me, especially because I have made sure that my punishments in the past haven't affected his relationships with his father. For example, I don't take away his cell phone because he texts with his dad during the week.\n\nWhen my son came back to my house, I told him that he could still take driver's ed but he would still not be able to have friends over for a week as his new punishment. He has since been in contact with his father much less and his father blames me for undermining him and letting him take drivers ed anyway. Am I the asshole for undermining my ex? ######","completion":" NTA. If he wants to punish your kid in a way that impacts you, he needs to consult you first. Hell, this would punish you more than your kid! ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  \/ worked part time at a restaurant in the evening \/ finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact. \n\nSince all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight \/ gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######","completion":" NTA. If he wants a night off then you guys can schedule it so that way another night you get a night off. And school is 100% work and not relaxing time! ######"}
{"prompt":"Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.\n\nI said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.\n\nMy brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. If he intends to pay it back by x date then why would he mind if it was in writing? ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been together for nearly four years. I'm very adamantly childfree, which he knew prior to us dating, and BC doesn't seem to like me, as I've gotten pregnant on it twice already. I'm not in the US and the only doctor I found who will tie my tubes, being that I'm 23 and don't have any children, wants 17,500 of my local currency, which I can in no way afford. However, men can easily get free vasectomies here.\n\nI've asked him (30m) to get a vasectomy since after my last abortion. He always says no, that I can get surgery on myself if I want, and if I ask why he just laughs and says \"my body my choice, you can't force me\". I've tried explaining that I would never force him to do anything, but that it would be a quick, nearly painless procedure he could get for free, whereas I'd have to pay a lot of cash we don't have and be laid on my ass for a week, and the most I've gotten is that he will \"think about it\" because he doesn't want anyone touching him \"down there\". \n\nI'm currently not on BC because it didn't even work and did make me snappy and gain weight, so we haven't done much lately in the bedroom department. He also doesn't like wearing condoms, he will put one on only if one is on hand but won't get up to get one, and no matter how often I explain, he thinks pulling out is sufficient protection. I feel like an AH for continuing to bring it up, but it would really help my peace of mind so much and I can't help feeling that his refusal means he doesn't care about me as much as he says he does. I mean I'd gladly get a tubal if either of us had the means to pay for it, even if it meant I couldn't get up for a week...But he's also right, it is his body and I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If he doesn’t want a surgical procedure done, that’s his choice. If you don’t want to get on BC, that’s your choice. If both of you are on the same page about not wanting kids then you need to find a compromise. Him not wanting to use condoms just because he doesn’t like them when every other method seems to not work, is selfish.\n\nEdit to clarify: He’s the AH for not compromising with atleast a condom, but he is not one for not wanting a vasectomy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m on mobile so sorry\nA little background is that and my twin sister(19) currently live in an apartment together and we are half Russian and our mom insisted we learn the language. We are fluent but our little brother(16) isn’t. Our apartment is kind of a Russian zone since we just tend to be more comfortable speaking it with each other.\nMy parents house partially lit on fire about a week ago and they wanted our brother to stay with us for a bit and we agreed. Tonight while making dinner me and Milan were speaking in Russian and going over the ingredients or asking questions about what to do to each other. Out of nowhere our brother started yelling at how we never included him in anything and rubbed it in his face that we spoke Russian and how we never speak English unless we are talking with him.\nI responded by telling him that he chose to quit learning and can ask our mother to teach him again at any point but chose not to. My brother called me an asshole and drove to our aunts house we’re are parents are staying and our dad texted us telling us we shouldn’t be dicks about it and to stop being petty and apologise but personally I feel like what I said was true and okay? So AITA for speaking Russian in front of my brother? ######","completion":" NTA. If he doesn't want to learn Russian, then he doesn't have to but he is in your apartment, you can speak whatever language you want when you are talking to each other ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been dating a guy for about 9 months. I told him today that I purchased (I was about to, it was on back order) a non permanent dance pole or a “stripper pole” to put in my bedroom for fun. It’s elegant, sexy, it’s good exercise and it’s fun. I thought not only would be fun for me as I like dancing, just as a hobby, but also for him because it’s intimate and sexy and he’s told me before he’d like to see me dance for him. \n\nHe told me he doesn’t believe that’s why I bought it, that I’m doing it for other men, that he feels like I’m just doing it for attention, that “only certain kinds of women would buy a pole to have in their home” and that he sees me differently now. I feel horrible, I feel stupid. I’ve never done anything to make him feel like I’m seeing other people, that I’d be unfaithful. I just wanted to have fun and be sexy for him, but now I feel like a slut and I’ve ruined everything. \n\nDid I do something wrong? ######","completion":" NTA. If he doesn't trust you now, he never will and you'll be miserable. Get away from him. ######"}
{"prompt":"Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly\n\n\nMy(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.\n\n He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean. \n\nAs a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing. \n\nHow much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######","completion":" NTA. If he can’t stand and aim then sit the fuck down ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother has been dating \"Jenny\" since they were 16. They're now 19. They both go to community college part-time. Her dad is a rich doctor and our parents work at a factory. Everyone is cool with each other. My brother was joking that he and Jenny have started having 100% unprotected sex. No condom, no pill. I told him he was a dumbass if he gets her pregnant and he said that's what \"we are trying to do, actually.\" I asked him what he was talking about and he said they want to have a baby and not wait until they're old like her and our parents (they were in their 30's). They know people like our and her parents will not be happy but will support them with a baby. He said \"when\" it happens they're going to pretend it wasn't planned.\n\nI believe they're trying to have a baby because their lives are so good and a baby will solidify it. I am not saying I agree, but that is their logic and young love is powerful. \n\nI want to tell my parents, especially our dad. What can they do? I don't know, but something is better than nothing. There are no teen parents in our families. ######","completion":" NTA. If both of them are dependent on their parents for food and shelter, then their parents have a right to know about this, as the decision to have a child affects them too.\n\n(Original): Need more info.\n\nFirst, what's their living situation? Living with parents, separate but on their own, together, what?\n\nSecond, how are they doing financially? You said they go to community college \"part time\", so I assume that means they both have jobs - what sort?\n\nThe only reasons I can fathom for you \"telling\" on them being OK would be if they live with and\/or are financially dependent on one (or both) families. If that isn't the case, it's no business of yours whether they want to start a family or not. It might be ill-advised, but it's still their decision. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”\n\nI was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24\/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.\n\nWorker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.\n\n(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)\n\nMe: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.\n\nWorker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself. \n\nMe: I don’t mind waiting.\n\nCashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.\n\nMe: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.\n\nCashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out. \n\n(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)\n\nMe: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)\n\nBasically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.\n\nSo Was I? ######","completion":" NTA. If both a cashier and self checkout are options at the store, and you want cashier service, it’s your choice. Some self service setups are just terrible. \n\nI’m usually polite, but If they badgered me like that, I’d also have a sarcastic retort. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and I are extremely close, he got engaged a few months back and we are all happy for him and his fiance. I am also close with his fiance, she is a sweet girl but suffers from chronic migraines at least 4 times a month (these are so bad that she literally just sleeps all day when these hit) and is very depressed.\n\nA couple days back she learned I was hiring and reached out to me to ask if I would consider hiring her as I own a small business. I told her I would think about it but ultimately decided no as her chronic migraines would mean she would not be able to come into work at least 4 times a month meaning I would have to re-distribute her responsibilities to my other employees which is not fair to them.\n\nI told her I would not be hiring her, and she asked me why so I was honest with her and told her that I would not be able to accommodate her for the days she is off as my current employees only get 1 sick day per month. This caused her to throw a fit and explain that her disability is none of my business and that it would not be fair to discriminate against her because of this, she also told my brother this and things have been pretty tense between us although I expect this to blow over.\n\nAm I the asshole for not agreeing to hire her? Laws in my country are very strict to the point where if I hire her I would not be able to let her go because of her disability unless I pay her out. I would essentially be stuck with a part time employee earning full time salary which I can not afford nor do I think is fair to me or my employees. Am I wrong?\n\nEDIT; I feel I should include that I am not just assuming that she will not be showing up to work for at least 4 days. She used to work at a different place that ended up bankrupting because of COVID-19 and throughout her career there she would never go in to work when she had her chronic migraine episodes (because she physically\/mentally couldn't). ######","completion":" NTA. If asked again, I would say something along the lines of it would be a conflict of interest for you to hire her because of your personal relationship.\n\nI see another comment that you are paying for SIL's medication for migraines. Is it this same SIL? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (late 30s M) was visiting an old friend from High School and his wife. I should mention that at the time I had just finished a doctorate in Math -- this is relevant to the story. There were a number of people hanging out. Most of them I knew but my friend's wife's friend Janice ( late 40's F) and her daughter Ellie (maybe 19 F) who i didn't know , were also there. My friend's wife introduced us: \"Throwaway, this is my friend Janice and her daughter Ellie. Janice and Ellie this is our friend Throwaway. Throwaway just became a Doctor.\" Ellie ( the daughter) said \"Are you single? I think that I would make an excellent trophy wife.\" I gave a big dramatic sigh and said \"Sadly I'm not the kind of Doctor that gets to marry pretty young things. I'm the kind that teaches calculus to nerds. \" Everyone laughed, we chatted a bit and I wandered off to play pool with the guys.\n\nNow the mom and my friends wife seemed fine with what I said but i got a bunch of flak later from a couple of people (who were not even part of the original conversation) who said that it was \"gross\" that i was \" flirting with someone half my age.\" I thought that this was a ridiculous way to characterize the whole interaction. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. If anything the kid was being gross. You got out of the situation without humiliating her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity. \n\nI had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together. \n\nNow that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox. \n\nAITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ######","completion":" NTA. If a cat keeps this man from seeing his daughter, he was looking for an excuse to stop seeing her anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends. \n\nWhen it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day. \n\nOf course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her. \n\nBasically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.\n\nI felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######","completion":" NTA. If “bro code” means enabling abusive behavior, then break it. Your friend is a nightmare, and was clearly treating his gf badly. It isn’t on you or anyone he dates to change him, but at least you encouraged and supported her leaving a bad relationship. That’s a good thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a divorced dad of three kids, (12f, 7f, 4m). My girlfriend and I are both essential workers, and come into contact with a large number of sick people on a daily basis. One of my children had a lung transplant several years ago, and is immunocompromised. As such, we decided that right now it would be safer for them to stay with their mother.\n\nI make significantly more than my ex, so I bought a tablet for each of my kids, and they each have Disney+, Netflix, and Hulu. My 12 year old also has a cell phone, which she mostly used for school. They also use their tablets to FaceTime me every once in a while.\n\nI was talking with my 12 year old yesterday, and she mentioned that she would like to be able to use her tablet. Of course I was confused, and I asked her what she meant by that.\n\nApparently her mother has been taking her tablet away from her and using it for herself. I checked my daughter's account's Netflix history, and I saw shows that she definitely wouldn't watch (i.e. House of Cards, Blacklist, The Witcher).\n\nI called her, and asked her to give my daughter's tablet back. She said no, and that my daughter lost her tablet as a punishment for not doing her chores on time. I told her that was fine, but she shouldn't be using it.\n\nShe then said that I'm just trying to show off my wealth by giving the kids tablets and streaming services, and that my daughter already has a cell phone so she doesn't need a tablet.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Id put a password on it for just you and your daughter (maybe along with parental controls so you know she couldn’t get into trouble). That way ex can’t manipulate the situation and take things from her to be selfish. It’s not hers it’s your daughters and she’s not entitled to it as she doesn’t pay for it or the services. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.\n\nLast week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.\n\nThis morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ######","completion":" NTA. I’ve read your comments, and you should probably edit them in your post, cause as it is, it looks kinda sketchy. But you clarified in your comments and I think you’re not the asshole. Keep in mind a lot of people in this sub lose their shit over the subject of estranged parents, since most of the time the children left because the parents were assholes (also a lot of people here are young and tend to sympathise with teens more). So the vagueness of your post sets off alarm bells. Keep that in mind. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food. \n\nThis upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.\n\nAm I being unfair here? ######","completion":" NTA. I’m vegan and was vegan as a teenager, my parents made dinner every night which included vegetables and sides, and I would either eat just those sides or I would cook something additional for myself. The plus side of this, I’m an excellent cook now. You offered to pay for the groceries and cook books which seems very fair and besides, cooking is a skill all teens should learn. Maybe you could try and make something fun out of it like “on Thursday nights we both cook an all vegetarian meal for the entire family together” so that way you can teach her some fun recipes you enjoy and then she doesn’t feel like the only person not being included, plus there’s a special day she gets to design the menu for everyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"She snapped me late last night. My \"friend.\" She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented. \n\nI asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property. \n\nFirst of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.\n\nBackstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.\n\nShe basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no. \n\nBut if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?\n\nI'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted. \n\nAnd I feel like the asshole! ######","completion":" NTA. I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” Your friend is about ready to win her prize, don’t let her drag you down with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50\/50 on this. \n\n\nWe are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######","completion":" NTA. I’m sure you guys can find a place that is pet friendly. And honestly he’s the A for wanting you to leave your doggo. ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been bothering me for a while now,\n\nBut in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife. \n\nAnd another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.\n\nHe is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.\n\nMost people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.\n\nSo I’m not sure ######","completion":" NTA. I’m sure that a lot more went into him wanting to divorce his wife than just you and your commentary. Ultimately, it’s their relationship and they are responsible. \n\nI did not know what “cuckold impregnation” was, googled the term, and wish I hadn’t. So kind of an asshole for making that your title.:P \n\nI would imagine that there would be a plethora of legal issues that could arise out of this, let alone be a ridiculous arrangement for the child. But anyways, NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf and I have been together for about 6 years and we've had issues with his mom and stepdad( his stepdad hasn't done anything particularly harsh he's just there ). I for the first 4 years assumed she hated me. I would be invited to things only to be never picked up by my bf or his mom would do weird stuff like try to set him up with her friend's kids. Bf always told me she didn't hate me and that I was just exaggerating.  I had even tried to ask her about her behavior toward the beginning of the relationship and she told me she'd get my bf to break up with me ( we were still in high school at the time).\n\nEventually it came out that no she didn't hate me but she thought I was an entitled bitch because I was at family events when I wasn't wanted. It came out that my bf never really asked if I was welcome and just would say he was going to bring me. She assumed that I was controlling him and that was her reasoning to act the way she did. Since then I have made myself scarce and don't show up to her events but I show up to his dad and stepmom's gatherings instead. When bf came clean to his parents I told him to ask his mom or stepdad to contact me if they would like me there. This is the general conflict my bf and I have had for the past year and some change. bf has not told them what I asked.\n\nbf told me that I should trust in him telling me when I'm invited and he's been telling his parents that an accident I was in was the reason why I wasn't coming over. it is partially true. His brother spilled the beans that I've been visiting his dad and stepmom and his mom has been upset over this. I told bf that I want it to be clear that i'm wanted or not. He says that it would ruin his reputation with his family and he doesn't want that.\n\nAITA for asking him to ask his parents to message me themselves when they want me around? ######","completion":" NTA. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your boyfriend sounds like a liar with no backbone. He’s lying to his parents about the real reason you won’t come over because he doesn’t want his mommy to be mad at him for not ever asking to bring you places. He’s also being a huge dick in letting his mother treat you that way for so long. There is nothing wrong with the limitation you set for him, especially given your past. Also, it’s be good to remind your boyfriend that you HAVE trusted him in the past that the invitation came from his family, and it hasn’t worked out very well for you, so you are under no obligation to believe him when it comes to this situation.\n\nedit-second wind. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was babysitting my niece (sister's kid) and she asked me \"why does mommy kiss the grass cutting guy?\" \n\nI asked my sister what her daughter was talking about and she said \"oh that's my boyfriend. He's our gardener\". I mentioned that she was married. And my sister just said \"well, yeah but (husband's name) knows about us. He's cool with it. We have an open relationship\".\n\nIdk maybe it was because of the way she said it but she didn't sound very convincing so I asked my Brother-in-law if they had an open relationship. He had know idea what I was talking about so I told him about the gardener. Anyway now he wants a divorce.\n\nMy sister keeps texting me calling me a slut and saying that I'm not a very loyal sister. AITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA. I’m pretty sure what she said to you applies to her ######"}
{"prompt":"I like Dominos pizza and order it once a month. I know it’s a bit expensive, I know it isn’t very authentic, I know it isn’t healthy. I also don’t care; for me it hits the spot and I enjoy it. \n\nMy housemate and good friend’s Italian girlfriend, every time I get dominos, has to mention how it isn’t actually good pizza or very Italian. Every. Single. Time. It also extends to when I make Italian food like pasta or spaghetti (we take turns to cook for the whole house), mentioning i didn’t add this ingredient or use this process. I’ve asked her a couple times to show me what I’m doing wrong but stuff always seems to ‘come up’\n\nNow, she’s otherwise a pretty solid person but I just find this behaviour incredibly rude. I ordered pizza again today and she again commented about how it wasn’t authentic. I had enough and told her I didn’t give a fuck what was authentic or not, I just wanted to enjoy my Dominos. \n\nShe told me as an Italian she had to say something when she saw bad Italian food like the pizza or my pasta. I told her that if I as the son of Indians could eat what she alleged to be a chicken korma (it was *sweet* for some reason) and say nothing at the time she could eat my pasta and stay silent. \n\nI’m aware that was perhaps a bit petty and rude, but to be honest I’m pretty done with her inane comments. My roommate is annoyed at the both of us saying that we need to make up, but honestly I’m still pretty annoyed with her. As I see it the only harm I’m doing with my dominos is to my waistline, but that has no bearing on her. ######","completion":" NTA. I’m Mexican and I like Taco Bell. I’m not getting it because it’s authentic Mexican food. I get it cuz it’s crappy Americanized food that tastes good. You like what you like. At no point did you say “I’m gonna get this super authentic Italian food” and show up with dominos. Your roommates are being righteous jerks. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - in a couple of months. My husband and his parents are all math geniuses and wanted his name to include some math reference. I thought it was a cute and funny idea. Recently, my husband thought of a name. I thought of names too. I like Dylan, Jared and Loren. My husband was like \"um, yeah. I was thinking Cube.\" Like a Rubik Cube. I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that was the stupidest name ever. He told me to think of it as \"Cute.\" I told him I'd rather name him Sweater before Cube. ######","completion":" NTA. I’m confused as to why out of Rubik’s cube, he chose the word that wasn’t a name lmao. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. When we started dating, he would call me a cutie pie. A couple of months into dating, he started calling me a cootie pie. The first time he called me cootie pie, I got angry because I thought he was trying to do an accent to make fun of how other indians may pronounce cutie. He explained that I misunderstood and that in Hindi, cootie meant beautiful. We've been together for 3 years and he's been calling me cootie pie at least once per day. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nOn Friday, a new girl started at work. She introduced herself to the staff. She was born in India but came her for university and stayed here. I told her I am dating an Indian man myself. She asked if I knew any hindi and I told her I know a few of words, like cootie and billi. She told me it's inappropriate to say \"cootie\" at work and that I should be more respectful. I explained my boyfriend's nickname for me is \"cootie pie\" and that it means \"beautiful\". She told me \"cootie\" means \"B\\*itch\". I apologized and said I may be pronouncing it wrong to save face.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen I got home, I confronted my husband and he laughed. He said he thought it was funny to call me a \"cootie\". I snapped and yelled at him for being so immature. I asked him to sleep on the couch and he has been for the last two nights. He hasn't apologized yet and is pretending everything is normal. So reddit, am I the asshole for getting mad? ######","completion":" NTA. I’m an Indian , and ‘kutti’ is actually a pretty bad insult . He shouldn’t be calling you that at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"This incident happened some time ago.\n\nWe’re both in university. This semester she went on exchange to Australia. She left Canada Feb 2nd, but went to her hometown on Dec 22nd after final exams because she wanted to spend that time with her family until she left. For that reason we did our Christmas gift exchange early. I got her a really nice necklace in Morse code, a designer hoodie, and a pair of Beats headphones. I ordered the beats Dec 6th but the shipping was delayed big time (I think there was a postal strike? can’t remember) and so I didn’t get the headphones in time for her to have it. When I told her that, she asked what color the headphones are and I got them in blue because that’s her favourite color. She seemed a bit disappointed and and when I asked her what’s wrong she said she’d have preferred the grey.\n\nFast forward a few weeks. The headphones finally came in around Jan 20th and I went to Best Buy to return them. I did this because **I found the exact same pair on Amazon, brand new, in the color she wanted, and a much cheaper price**. Plus I have Amazon prime so I had 2 day shipping. I pulled the trigger and ordered it right to her house on Jan 21st.\n\nWhen I told her about this she was pissed off at me because i Didn’t disclose that I was doing all that. She was also afraid that the Beats wouldn’t come in before she left on Feb 2nd. For the life of me I still can’t understand why she was mad. I mean yeah I suppose I didn’t tell her, but I got what she wanted, for a better price. I should also note that the headphones were delivered way before she left so that wasn’t an issue but she said she still didn’t appreciate it. Was I the asshole here? I thought I was being thoughtful and now I feel a bit unappreciated. ######","completion":" NTA. I’m also confused why she’d be mad. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days. \n\nAt first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here. \n\nMy guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?\n\nOn top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?\n\nI've considered leaving a short \"please stop having your packages sent here\" note, but haven't acted yet. ######","completion":" NTA. I’d start bringing them into my house and writing return to sender on them and putting them back through the mail. After a few of her expensive packages got returned she would probably learn her lesson. Or you’d have the benefit of speaking to her face-to-face about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.\n\nInitially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.\n\nSo yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.\n\nIn that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.\nWell, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.\n\nI called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.\n\nEveryone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. I’d get a financial advisor and a lawyer on standby stat. You just never know how petty and entitled a person really is. I’d update your wills too now that you’re seeing the true colors of your family. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.\n\nBasically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair. \n\nI mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)\n\nAnd because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up\n\nIt’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult. \n\nThe amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing. \n\nSo I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye. \n\nIf they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.\n\nMy mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit. \n\nLuckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######","completion":" NTA. I've seen many a pregnant woman say they've done the same thing, since for whatever reason pregnant bellies get treated as public property that other people feel like they have license to touch. Yet you put *your* hand right back on their middle-age gut pudge and they act *shocked* that you'd cross a personal boundary like that! Yeah, exactly, *that's the point,* so keep your hands to yourself! ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ######","completion":" NTA. I've never in my life invited a boyfriend's sister to a birthday party with friends. He should not have assumed she was invited. No one is entitled to a party invitation.\n\nI think if you hadn't said she's autistic and just said your bf assumed that his sister was invited, but you didn't invite her because you don't get along, you wouldn't be getting y t a judgements. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.\n\nFor my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.\n\nAITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm the oldest sibling and the clear favorite in my family and have been given lavish gifts on my birthday as well as on my siblings special days. It caused a huge issue between me and my siblings, 1 that I didn't recognize until the damage was done. While one of my brothers and I are making up for it now as adults, I don't talk to my other siblings at all.\n\nYou are justified in your feelings, and it is really terrible when parents blatantly have favorites because of the damage it can do between siblings. I don't have any advice for you, but I hope you know it's not your brother's fault. I hope this was a fluke and not something that happens to you every year. Also happy belated birthday 🖤 ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc. \n\nIn that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:\n\nShe is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)\n\nInitially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis. \n\nAnyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if you start saying what the \"perfect\" boobs and vag should look like, even if hers was the opposite. Confront her, her opinions are ignorant and hurtful. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom just unexpectedly died from cancer. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I really needed my boyfriend to fly home. I voiced that I would pay for his ticket, but he replied that he thought it would be better if I flew to his place on our already planned trip in a week. I have three kids who are devastated and this is really not possible anymore. He also has a flight here for June 6th but didn’t reschedule. \n\nAt first, the issue was he needed to be home to rent the open rooms in his house. But that has been mostly resolved and he’s shown no urgency. He has been there for me communicatively but I really just need to be held and cry.\n\nI wanted (needed) him here, and kindly voiced how it would mean a lot to me. However, I am at a point in my life where I won’t beg, nor try to change anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, right? This is causing me to seriously second guess if we are on the same page. AITA?\n\nHe also has traveled home during the pandemic, so respectfully that argument is null.\n\nEdit: Asking for opinions because obviously I want to bring this up, and am considering taking space or ending it if I am not the asshole, and he tries to make me feel like one. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm sorry that your mom died. When my grandpa died, my husband was on a boys weekend away. He had hitched a ride with another guy so he couldn't just leave. I told him I'd be fine. Just after midnight  I got the call that he had finally passed. Suddenly, the door opened and my husband was there. His friend gladly drove him home in the middle of the night from their camping spot a couple hours away. If he wants to be there, he'd be there. You need to decide if what he's doing is enough for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me [19M] and my sister [19F] had some big problems a year ago. She started acting really creepy towards me. She walked in on me while I was showering a couple of times. Then one morning I woke up to her naked in my bed, spooning and humping me, while her hand was on my penis. Our parents refused to believe me for a while until she admitted to it. She got therapy and cut out the behavior. It was obviously very uncomfortable and traumatic for me. I had tried to move on from it as my sister was acting better.\n\n\nAnyway recently I caught my sister on my phone. After I got it back, I used my computer to see that she had sent and deleted pictures to herself from my phone. The pictures were nudes of myself. I was so shocked and upset that she would do something like that again after everything. \n\n\nI wanted to delete the pictures off her phone but she has a password. So I called her girlfriend (they have been together for 6 months) and asked if she knew. I broke down and explained everything. She was shocked obviously. I deleted the pictures. Her gf is the only person to believe me and truly support me about it actually.\n\n\nAnyway her gf broke up with her citing what I told her. My parents are furious at me for sharing this personal information with someone outside the family saying it could ruin my sister. They say I could destroy all the progress she has made. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you. What your sister is doing is sexual abuse. Unfortunately, in cases of sexual abuse within families, it is extremely common for family members to be in denial or to blame the victim. Are you in a position to move out? Until you get some distance it seems likely you will continue to be put in this position. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm proud of you though my friend. Keep doing what you love. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I'm going to break up with my baby's father by Monday because he's emotionally abusive and made me feel threatened when I told him I needed space from him. He was saying things like \"you can't keep my baby from me\" (as if I have lost bodily autonomy or something) and \"promise me you're coming over tomorrow or I'm showing up at your house tonight. You can call the cops if you want but that will unleash a hell you don't want to deal with.\" I don't love him and that conversation only made me more sure that I want to break up with him.\n\nAs of right now hospitals have restrictions on how many people can be in the delivery room. My doula counts as my one person, so I have no problem choosing her over anyone. But if restrictions are loosened by June, I would want my mom there as well. I feel like the father would be an added source of stress instead of comfort. However, I do understand that he wants to be there for the birth of his child. WIBTA if I did not allow him to be there? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm pretty sure as the birth giver you have the right to deny anyone from being in the delivery room, but I strongly suggest you call an attorney and start collecting proof about his behavior if you want to nip this in the bud for good. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello. I'm a 42M. I don't want to include too many details because it will be easy to find me. I saw another fashion designer post here, so I wanted to post my own problem.\n\nI recently created my own fashion brand (sole proprietorship). My niche is incorporating 17th-19th century fashion trends in my designs. It's not a big brand or anything and it's still in the fledgling stages.\n\nI have a small team working for me. As of now, my clothing is only available in small, medium, and large sizes (0-10 dress US; 36-40 Europe). My wife (31F) recently confronted me about the lack of larger sizes. She says size-inclusivity is considered very important in the modern fashion world. She and my three daughters are all plus size. \n\nI don't want to introduce those sizes for a few reasons. First, it is more expensive to create plus size garments because of the amount of fabric and customers may be angry if the price is higher for the same garment. Second, I'm not an expert in what looks good on plus size women and I believe other brands can do it better. Plus size women come in all different shapes and what look good on one plus sized woman can look atrocious on another. Third, my team doesn't have that much experience with creating plus sized clothing.\n\nMy brand is \"upscale,\" but this is NOT the reason why I don't cater to plus sizes.\n\nAITA for excluding plus sizes from my line? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm plus size myself, and yes, it's disappointing to find something I like that isn't in my size, but you're right. It's more expensive and takes a more experienced tailor. Maybe it's something you can do in the future, but that doesn't make you a bad person or business owner. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) live with my parents and older brother. I’ll be honest - I do not like him. We do not get along. He’s annoying and intruding and loud and I could go on. I try to just ignore him. \n\nFor April fools day yesterday, as a “joke,” he decided to hide the pain medication I take to deal with my periods. I have horrible periods, especially the first couple days (which yesterday was) and the pain can be debilitating and make me cry if I don’t have the pain meds to help (even then, I still have pain, I’m just able to function).\n\nI basically couldn’t find them all day yesterday then this morning he gave them to me and said “April Fools!!” His prank was hiding this on me since I “relied on them so heavily and need to see I don’t need pain meds to get through the day.” He said that’s what I get for keeping the meds in the kitchen (which I do because they need to be taken with food and\/or water) \n\nI was fucking pissed. He saw me crying and wincing in pain and hid them from me? I told him to fuck off and that this would be the last conversation we’d have for a while. I’m ignoring him but he keeps texting me like “come on really?” And giving ME dirty looks in the hallway like I’m the one who did something wrong. \n\nMy parents are staying out of it as we’re both adults. They say f how I want to deal with is by ignoring him then it is what it is. \n\nAITA? I don’t think this was a joke. I think this is over the line. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm not sure why he thought watching someone be in pain all day would be funny, but it's not. He crossed a line. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22, F) currently work as an EMT, and as part of my certification, I learned to deliver babies. On occasion, we will get calls to pick up someone whos in labor. I've gotten these calls about 3x and each time we have just transported the patient to the hospital and they have given birth there.\n\nMy sister (26, F) who is 8.5 months pregnant recently asked if I could deliver her baby at her home since I was certified. She wants to do it at home since the hospital in our area (Chicago) won't let family visit, and she wants us to be there since this is her first child. Also, her gynecologist is sick and wouldn't be there to deliver her child, so she's also nervous about having a doctor, she doesn't know.\n\nI told her I would get back to her, but my sister and my mom keep texting me about it. Idk what to do, I'm really nervous about doing it since I have never delivered a baby before. She said the baby was perfectly healthy which is good and it obviously won't be premature but I'm still on the fence. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm not familiar with your training, but it seems like you're trained to do it in an emergency scenario, not as a first option. It's a lot of responsibility, and if anything were to go wrong... ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months.  This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it.  I asked her if she was \"allergic to stairs,\" which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude.  FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm not 7 and I find it hilarious! ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.\n\nThe entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit. \n\nHe’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1\/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home) \n\nI was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes. \n\nI know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm more concerned why you chose to stay with someone like this than why you hid money. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 8 months ago, he has it fairly bad I think he can’t eat anything with lactose in it without having to leave in the bathroom for like 2 days afterward.\n\nMy mum has bought lactose free and vegan food to accommodate him while trying to not majorly change his diet. One sore spot for him is ice cream, he has vegan friendly ice cream in our freezer but claims it doesn’t taste the same. I’ve got no clue, I don’t eat it because I don’t want to limit the amount of food he can eat in the house.\n\nSo because of the recent hot weather where I live mums been getting more ice cream when she does the shopping. She buys a tub for each of us so there isn’t an issue with sharing ( she’s always done this I think it comes from being 1 of 8 kids growing up and sharing being difficult). \n\nIt was the afternoon and the temperature was at its peak so without really thinking about it I went and got my ice cream out and was sat on the sofa eating it, my brother comes down sees me and almost immediately starts shouting while demanding to know what I’m eating. I told him it was cookie dough ice cream and he wanted to know if it was suitable for him, I responded no because it wasn’t and he had a tube of chocolate in the freezer that he could eat.\n\nHe started shouting about how he is always left out and disrespected for being different, that he’s always bought shit ice cream and that if he has to make do with vegan ice cream everyone else should too, he then stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could. \n\nMum and dad have opted to ignore it, they’re putting it down to a stress reaction, he’s asked me to apologise to him because he feels I was inconsiderate of his issues. I don’t think I need to apologise, he’s been offered pills that could help him eat lactose foods but refused them and he has got food options. Why do I have to change my diet for him or my eating habits for him?\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm lactose intolerant but I eat ice cream every single day because I take lactase pills. He is making this choice.\n\nAnd yeah, dairy free ice cream is disgusting. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been saving up in order to move out in order to escape my mother for my own sanity. While checking my online statements with my bank app I found out my mom has taken over $700 out of my account, not counting the 200 i loaned to her. \n\nTo say I was pissed is an understatement but I'm too afraid to confront her, so I just decided to move all my money into a new account without her knowledge.\n\nYesterday our dog got hurt and now she's limping, my mom took her to the vet and came home around thirty minutes later, demanding to know where all my money is.\n\nI asked her what she was talking about and she started yelling at me, saying that 'you need to put the money back' and 'i need it in case of emergencies like this!' I tried telling her that if she needed money I would loan it to her and she just needed to ask but all I got back was 'You live under my roof, the least you can do is help me without me having to ask for it.' \n\nMy family is devided, they know cuz afterwards my mom called my relatives to complain about me, on if I'm an asshole or not for moving the money without my mother's knowledge.\n\nAITA?\n\n(Edit: I am currently 18 and work full time. I pay rent and part of our phone bill while having chores. I told her I'd pay for the dogs appointment but my mom is refusing until i put the money back) ######","completion":" Nta. I'm assuming you're over 18. Once you became an adult her name should have been taking off of the account because it's YOUR money. She does not get unfettered access to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Every night, my brother(16) calls his cousin and they play Call of Duty Mobile with 3 other family members. However, when he does this, he's loud as hell and ignores literally everything anyone tells him.\n\nHe yells into his mic on his earbuds and constantly is asking if the others can hear him. He also snaps at my other brother(14) and I(20) for being too loud when we're just having a normal conversation because we're butting in on his conversation.\n\nTonight, I finally had enough of his mess. I asked him to go in his room and play because he was too loud and his constant \"can you still hear me?\" every 3 minutes was annoying. He instantly got upset and pissy and told his group he was leaving. He then got after me, saying that the wifi isn't good in his room. I told him thats a lie because I get perfect wifi at the way back of our acre property. Then he decided that he didn't wanna be around me anymore, and stormed off to his room and scowled at me every time he left his room. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm assuming it's a shared space he's playing in and it's pretty rude to be on a (loud) phone call with people while there's already people in said room. ######"}
{"prompt":"So... my MIL who is temporarily wheelchair bound came to live with us 4 weeks ago to recover from surgery. She is usually a heavy smoker. I do not smoke and I hate it with a passion. Her health means she should not be smoking at all. I am taking her to all her appointments and providing food and care etc. Basically anything she needs I do and buy. So tonight I come home from work and I can smell stale  cigarettes. The room she is occupying (my teenage daughter's room which she gave up and is bunking with her much younger sisters) has French doors that so think she is opening up thinking the smell will 'blow away' when all it does is blow straight back I to the house. I had suspected she was smoking outside when I'm at work which is just stupid because she is screwing up her recovery which means longer with me and more appointments for me to take her to but now smoking inside... my house in my daughter's room... and she knows I hate it. Knowing there is no way I would say that is okay. Am I the asshole for being so fucking angry that I want her to get out of my house. Wheelchair or no wheelchair. If she can't respect the way I live then she shouldn't be in my house. So what are your opinions please? I'm so mad. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm a smoker. Have been since it was legal to smoke in restaurants and pubs etc. I don't even smoke in my own house these days let alone someone else's. If I was staying with someone else, I'd even ask if it was OK to smoke outside on their property before doing it. I can't imagine just lighting up inside someone else's house. I'd fully expect to be kicked out immediately.\n\nEdit: errant apostrophe. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.\n\nInitially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece. \n\nShe eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.\n\nSIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.\n\nAITA or is she just being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA. I'm a professional artist and experienced a lot of this when I was starting out. It's fine that she doesn't want your signature visible on the cover, but the artist is always credited in the text somewhere in or on the book. \n\nShe's not in the driver's seat here...You are. It's very simple. State your price and requirements regarding credit. She can take it or leave it. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, he (23m) isn’t playing for me (23f) specifically, just playing because it’s his hobby.  A few hours a day and it’s not generally popular music, usually songs from games or films and 9 times out of 10 they are what I would call ‘Cowboy Themed’.  He also does the singing in the appropriate accent for the song (we are English).\n\nWe live in a very small flat, our kitchen and living room are one and the only other rooms are the loo and bedroom.  He plays in the living room and when he starts I tend to get up and go and sit in the bedroom.  The reason for this is because it’s not really the type of music that I like, and he does it LOUD.  It’s very overpowering to be in the same room as.\n\nHe’s recently mentioned that he thinks it’s rude for me to leave and that I should stay and listen.  I thought this was a bit uncalled for, especially considering I don’t even put the tv volume above 15 if it’s something only I’m watching and he’s in the room, and I’ve also watched a video on my phone with sound out loud (not through headphones) precisely once during the time we’ve lived together while we’ve been in the same room, and he asked me to mute it within 30 seconds of it being on because ‘the woman’s voice is annoying’ which I did immediately.  I generally make an effort to not be overly loud when doing anything with others present as I was raised that this is rude.\n\nI don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but I think I need another perspective on this!  Thanks 😊 ######","completion":" NTA. I'm a musician too. Sometimes we play the same song like 50x in a row to get it down. Your boyfriend expecting you to sit and listen to him play is not only selfish, but leaning towards narcissistic. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just went into the kitchen and saw that my flatmate is using communal mugs to clean her menstrual cup. I know that there are probably no germs etc. left in the mug after sterilization but the thought just grosses me out. \n\nI'm a male and am aware that I might not have full insight into this situation. My flatmates are pretty pro-sexual expression, body acceptance etc. which I have no issue with but I still think it's fair enough to find something like this just gross. It has nothing to do with me finding periods gross, but I mean I would not leave blood-stained plasters or condoms lying around on kitchen plates either. \n\nI have not brought it up yet because I'm expecting some backlash and also I wanted to know the opinion of others especially other females. ######","completion":" NTA. I'm a girl and that's af.\n\nEdit: gross. That's gross af ######"}
{"prompt":"Client Refuses to Pay Me for Commission, Says I’m Twisting Her Arm\n\nCan somebody back me up here? \n\nOne year ago I was contacted for a commission for voicework. I won’t give the client’s name. She had also separately commissioned a scriptwriter as well. That writer did not produce the script for over 6 months, but once they did I had the recordings done in under a week.\n\nI sent them to the client, and then waited for a response. Of course a lot of big developments started happening in my life shortly thereafter. Proposing, moving to England, having a baby. Up until yesterday I’d forgotten about the commission. But upon remembering I sent an email to the client. I stated that I felt I’d been more than patient and wanted to know why I hadn’t been compensated. I also warned her that if I was not compensated, I would refuse to work with her again and tell my colleagues not to either.\n\nI got a message back this morning stating that I shouldn’t expect the terms of a deal to stay the same after a year of no communication. That she feels uncomfortable that I’m “twisting her arm” like this. Then she goes off on how 2019 was a really rough year for her and criticizes me for “threatening” her after a year. \n\nI  responded stating that I wasn’t trying to threaten her, but that these are are consequences of going back on our agreement.  Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. I'd see if you can sue them or file some sort of legal complaint against any media they use your VA work on. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently got a new job (past month) and my boss has two young toddlers who instantly became attached to me. They have a full time nanny, but because they like me so much they have started hanging out around the work place to “help” me. I don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how I do my job and letting them participate, and my boss has expressed how grateful she is for my patience with them and has started leaving me alone with both of them regularly during my work hours. Then yesterday out of the blue she sent me a pretty blunt text message telling me that she is not happy with my level of efficiency at work and that it, “Should not take four hours to do X amount of work.” I totally agree with her that it is taking me way too long to get work done, at my last job I would get almost 3 times the amount of work done in the same amount of time. I just feel like it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect me to work efficiently at my job when I’m also doing the job of her nanny and babysitting two young children\/teaching them how to do everything.Am I being unreasonable? What do I even say to her next time I see her? I don’t know how to explain to her that I can’t work efficiently when I have to pace myself with a four-year-old. ######","completion":" NTA. I'd be fairly frank with her. Tell her you \"don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how [you] do [your] job and letting them participate,\" but it will mean that it will take \"four hours to do X amount of work.\" Then you haven't said anything offensive, but the ball is in her court.\n\nWhat does the nanny do all day? ######"}
{"prompt":" So long story short I (18f) dated D (20m) for about three years. In early March I found out I am pregnant. Naturally he was the the first one I told and his response was \"come find me again after you get rid of it.\" This naturally led to a but of an argument until he backhanded me. \n After that I walked away and havent spoken to him since.  I have however kept somewhat in touch with T (16f) his sister. Time passed and the protests started. About 2wks ago I got a call from T begging me to bail D out of jail because her parents couldnt afford to. Now I don't know how much it was but I probably could have asked my dad at the time and he would have helped if possible. I didnt and still don't see the need to do that. He has not contacted me one time about this baby. I havent blocked him and if he decides to I will let him into this baby's life.\nHis parents managed to bail him out but now T is calling me a bitch and saying that I shouldnt have made their parents sacrifice a mortgage payment to get him out of jail because he is the father of my unborn child. \nSo am I wrong in refusing to bail him out? ######","completion":" NTA. I'd also seriously consider if this is the kind of person you want in your child's life. The *only* thing he's done is help create this child. He's already made it clear that he wants nothing to do with either of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######","completion":" NTA. I wouldn’t even treat a waiter\/waitress like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault.  The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.  \n\nMy sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough.  I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work.  She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me.  Her biggest insult she always calls me is \"divorce baby\" and I hate it with a passion.  Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over.  I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.  \n\nHer birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down \"happy birthday\" and called it a day.  My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby.  She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I wouldn’t do nice things for someone who treats me like shit. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) allow my cousin(26m)and his 2 kids to live with me and my girlfriend. I have extreme asthma and other breathing difficulties. My gf suffers from extreme migraines. I only let my cousin stay because I love my neices. He is an avid smoker and never has payed me for him living here. I let him stay in my spare bedroom that used to be the gaming room. My nieces sleep there too. I've caught him smoking in there several times and asked him to stop. \nA few weeks  ago when I came home I found him in the living room smoking. I yelled at him and said if I caught him smoking again I would kick him out. Well I get a call from my gf at work which is weird but I answered it and she told me she can't find her gold necklace. I first think its just lost somewhere and brush it off. Well I come home just as my gf is leaving to go to the doctors and I walk into my cousins room when she leaves and find a still lit cigarette in the ash tray and I then look all around the room for the box and find the necklace in his empty pants pocket. So i put out the cigarette take a puff of my inhaler and then set them on the table. I proceeded to wait for my cousin. To get back from taking my nieces to the park. He comes back and i tell the girls to go in the other room and then i tell him that he has 3 days to leave. And he then throws a tantrum, calls me names and accuses me of looking through his stuff and then I remind him that he stole from my gf and that he has put my health at risk just so he can smoke.\nMy aunt called me a heartless bitch and hasnt spoken to me since. My gf thinks I was to hard on him. I called the mom of my nieces so she could come and get them. So reddit did I make a mistake by kicking them out? ######","completion":" NTA. I wouldn't have even let them in, knowing he's a smoker. Just smelling it on his clothes would have made me sick. The stealing is just the icing on the top. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.\n\nI decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was \"Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded\" and then a link to the video.\n\nI wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. \"Why are you showing me this?\" and \"What are you going to do with it?\" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.\n\nDid I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ######","completion":" NTA. I would want to know. She may feel embarrassed\/angry\/upset\/uncomfortable - but you're not an asshole for making her aware of the video being online. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ######","completion":" NTA. I would trash them too if this happened to me.  Stealing other people’s designs is low. Especially shitty that they did it twice. You gave them an opportunity to make things right. The public has the right to know that their designs are not safe with these people. They could have switched things up\/be inspired by you and created something original but they chose to steal and for that they get no mercy. ######"}
{"prompt":"[Slyvy Bear](https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/69228620@N03\/49777975553\/in\/dateposted-public\/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.\n\nShe's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.\n\nMy husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.\n\nHubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta. I would say n a h until he called you names. People mourn differently. ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s been really hot in my country lately. 42° with intense humidity. It doesn’t get cool enough to sleep until 2am and my room is the only room in our house without an AC so recently, I’ve been sleeping naked (with only underwear on).\n\nI lock my door and close my curtains, I’m no exhibitionist. I genuinely just do this because of the heat.\n\nLast night, my uncle knocked in my door and I said “wait,” he knocked more and said “faster,” to which I replied to “wait I’m getting dressed.” He started yelling telling me I’m taking so long and he needs to borrow my HDMI cable. I opened the door and apologized because I don’t sleep with clothes on and I had to get dressed.\n\nThis resulted in a family meeting, us in the living room where my uncle and my aunt are getting mad at me for sleeping naked. Saying it’s indecent, embarrassing, and “what if the neighbours see?” They even called me a “slut” (in our language) and said I probably do it to video call my boyfriend naked.\n\nI couldn’t defend myself but I feel like I’m TA here because everything they said made sense.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta. I would recommend getting a bathrobe so you can throw it on quicker than putting all your clothes on ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said \"I love you more than *insert my name here*.\n\nI never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.\n\nabout two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him.  He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying \"there you go being crazy again.\n\nWas I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. I would have said no assholes for the first half regarding the joke,  because it does sound like a joke albeit one that crashed and burned. But complaining about you to his mother and starting to call you crazy are big asshole moves. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a weird one, sorry in advance. This was 5 months ago and it’s still a fight my bf and I are having. Clearly since pregnancy and miscarriages aren’t easy topic for people to talk about, I’ve come here. \n\nI (27F) was about 6 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding really heavily randomly. To cut a long story short - I was miscarrying. Didn’t know I was pregnant, wasn’t upset about it. It was really whatever. I have no intention of children, I guess the shot failed me.\n\nThey sent me home from the hospital after a mental health check to make sure I was okay. Like I said, wasn’t upset about it, didn’t bother me much besides the physical pain obviously. They gave me the pill that helps to move the process along faster at home instead of waiting. When I was at home and sitting on the toilet, I felt it like fall out. So I just kind of look at for awhile and said “I didn’t think I would be able to see it!” (it was in the sac I think?) My boyfriend then said “stop being so fucking weird about this.” He then accused me of wanting to KEEP IT. When I said “it’s just curiosity, this is new to me too.” He stormed off and said he doesn’t want to be with someone who could be so heartless as not to care about this and treat “him” like a science project. \n\nI asked him if he wanted to be pregnant or have kids and he said no but I should “respect” his kid more than that. I told him it’s happening to me and we just feel different about it. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive, I said sorry at the time but he hasn’t let it go. \n\nWas I the asshole? It was something that was just happening to me and I was curious about it. He’s never hinted he’s wanted to kids or pro life of anything so this attitude is new to me. ######","completion":" NTA. I would have been fascinated too. At 6 weeks it wasn't really anything anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"At the time I was 18(F). I was doing a Media Make-Up and SFX course, and when I applied I was not aware there would be hairdressing aswell, I wasn’t interested. \nI have Afro-carribean hair and was the only mixed-race person in the class. My teacher and the rest of the girls had straight hair. She wanted the girls to be blow-drying\/straightening\/rollering my hair, which I explained they can’t because my hairs DIFFERENT and it could ruin it (genuinely, as I use African natural products and I never ever use heat - It’s also super super curly?) and she said I had NO CHOICE but to participate, I was extremely upset. She tried to put a fckin brush through my DRY hair which hurt and I flipped out and left, I have to wash my hair wet &amp; conditioned for obvious reasons. And I felt like despite her being a qualified hairdresser, she should either have some knowledge of my type of hair or not go near it at all. My other teachers &amp; the girls then became super bitchy and telling me I’m “acting superior” which caused my anxiety to rocket, and I eventually left. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I would hate for someone to keep trying to touch my hair without consent. However, I don't understand why they don't have hairdressing mannequin heads to practice on instead? The whole thing sucks. I'd speak to the head of the program (or dean, if in college) and make your case heard. You may change the program for the better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context I live in an apartment complex where the doors face eachother and the space is relatively small. I understand how the camera works in that it picks up on motion and what not and sends an alert to your phone.\n\nMy primary concern with this is that this particular neighbor has a history of stealing my packages or attempting to. I've caught him at least 3-4 times stealing my chewys orders and even tried to steal my grandfathers fathers day gift when it was delivered. Hell I have to be careful with food delivery because he tries to steal my groceries when theyre delivered and my uber orders if I order out ((we are in a hotspot and im high risk for covid so I stay put most of the time)).\n\nI also work over night so I tend to walk my dogs around 4 am when I get off and its cool. The other day I got a nasty note on my door from him telling me not to walk my dogs as I set off the alarm.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I would do “fashion shows” just to annoy him with extra notifications. Dress up, leave your apt, twirl about & go back inside, put on a new outfit. Do it over & over again. Build up to costumes. ######"}
{"prompt":"I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything. \n\nNow it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad. \n\nWell tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know? \n\nBoy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######","completion":" NTA. I would definitely confront him (without being aggressive) and set some boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nSo my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.\n\nEdit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######","completion":" NTA. I would be upset too if my bf send weird hentai to another girl. Its indeed inappropriate. I guess he just not replying because he is self reflecting on his actions. ######"}
{"prompt":"This relates to an online marketplace for guitars. Last December I was selling a guitar of mine for just about $6,000 which someone bought. I had to ship it to them. I made sure to document my packaging (a dozen or so photos in varying states of packed) as well as I took a photo of me dropping it off at the PO. I've been buying and selling and shipping guitars online for ten-ish years at this point and I do this for every guitar I ship. I shipped it out, I got my money, and I thought this was the end of it.\n\nTwo weeks go by and the buyer says he didn't receive the guitar. Tracking says it was delivered. They contact the marketplace site and try to get the situation mediated. I was told it's my responsibility to ensure delivery. I call the courier, they confirm it was delivered (they even have a photo of the courier dropping it off). I thought this was the end of it, but nope.\n\nThe courier said if the buyer didn't have it, it was porch pirated. Despite paying $300 extra for the full $6000 insurance, they won't pony up. Said it's out of their control. At this point the marketplace said I needed to refund the buyer and eat the cost.\n\nThis seemed so fishy to me. If it was indeed porch pirated, then the courier should pay for it. But there's no proof: the buyer could have got it and just wants their money, too. It seemed they were beginning the process of automatically taking the money out of my account, so I went to the bank and closed that account, withdrawing all my money. I switched banks and washed my hands of it.\n\nWas I the asshole here? If it truly was porch pirated, I feel for the buyer but this wasn't my fault. Nowhere in the marketplace policy guide does it mention porch pirates, nor does the courier's website. Friends of mine have said this is the cost of doing business and I should have ate the cost. I told many of them to eat shit. ######","completion":" NTA. I work in shipping. If the customer allows the product to be left on the porch vs signed for it's on them if shit happens. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is so stupid I know, but here it goes. Background: I (27F) have wanted to get matching tattoos with my husband (33M) for years. We have been together for 9 years now. Not like each other’s names or anything crazy, but something that symbolizes our relationship. Every idea I’ve had he’s shot down, and he hasn’t put forth any ideas. \n\nFast forward to today, when he says that he wants to get a tattoo of a rubber duck with 2 guys that he works with. I’m sure it’s an inside joke or something. One of the guys he has known less than a year, and the other he’s worked with for a few years. So it’s not like they’re best friends or anything. \n\nI told him it bothered me that I’ve been trying to plan a tattoo with him for years, but he decides at the drop of a hat he wants to get a random tattoo with 2 guys he really doesn’t know all that well. He got mad and said I “just don’t understand”, which apparently he’s right because I don’t. Admittedly I feel a bit left out, almost jealous.\n\nI know that it his body, he is an adult and it is his choice. I’m not trying to tell him not to get a tattoo with them, or to force him to get just any tattoo with me. That’s ridiculous. I just wonder if I’m making something out of nothing here. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I won't make judgements on getting a tattoo as a long established couple or as short term friends. The thing is, you don't understand, and understandably so. You got some conflicting information. He should come clear about why he's not excited about getting a tattoo with you, why he's postponing it, or at least how one matter is different from the other in his eyes. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello everyone. Final grades are due soon, and my TA is adamant that I'm an asshole for considering this. \n\nBackground: I teach at a large public university. One of my classes this semester had two midterms worth 25% each, and a final worth 50%.\n\nA student contacted me after Midterm #1 to tell me that her test had been incorrectly marked, as the TA had mistakenly calculated her mark to be 100 when it was in fact a 90. This 10% decrease on her midterm would work out to be 2.5% of her final grade. I thanked her and had her come by the TA's office to adjust her mark.\n\nThis student did excellently on both midterms, but not as well on the final. Her overall mark in the course is an 80, which is the minimum required mark for an A- i.e. a 3.7 GPA. I plan to bump her up to an 85, which is the mark required for an A, or a 4.0 GPA. I do not know this student well, having met her only once. However, I know she wants to go to medical school, and where we're from, you need to essentially have a 4.0 if you want to get there.\n\nMy logic is that had she not come to me, she would have automatically gotten a grade 2.5% higher. By showing integrity, she gets to earn an extra 2.5% reward on top of that. I also would be pleased to have more people like her in our medical system and am happy to facilitate that. *Nobody else* is affected by this as the class is not curved.\n\nMy TA says it's unfair as none of the other students were given this accidental opportunity to come forwards and earn a higher grade. I'll tell you what: in my 20+ years of teaching, this is the first student I've ever had come to me to have her grade adjusted down. I have had, on average, a quarter of the class make their way into my office hours at some point during each semester to argue for marks going up. Stands to reason that a further quarter of the class should be coming in to argue for lowered marks, but this has not occurred. \n\nI think this is fair. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I wish my professors were more like you. Not because you’re bumping up a grade, but because you’re assessing the situation holistically and trying to put your student on a level playing field from the previously made mistake. Because it’s clear that you understand that grades can absolutely make or break us, and sometimes the system is just flawed. This tiny change could entirely make the rest of your student’s future and potentially put them on a track towards a successful career within the medical field. That’s pretty awesome in my book. If you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then go ahead and do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"In my group of friends there's one guy who is your stereotypical nice guy, even comes with his own fedora. He's asked at every girl in our group then goes with \"it's just a friend date\" when they inevitably said no. I mostly ignore it all, but he ended up asking my GF out, when she said no he said he just wanted to hang out as friend and when she invited me he suddenly wasn't interested.\n\nWe've all been hanging out in a video chat lately and his cringeniess is becoming more and more apparent. I try to ignore it all but it just makes things awkward for everyone as he competes far too much with other guys when they're just talking to the girls. At one point we were all drinking and playing a game and my GF was being terrible at it so I was poking fun at her and ribbing her. He chimes in with \"I think you should apologise to her, that was uncalled for\" so she said \"Dude, I don't need you to whiteknight me\" which made him go quiet and then leave the chat.\n\nHe's been hitting on one new girl and it's made her uncomfortable, or so says my GF, and he's just not getting the message. We were all drinking tonight and he was jsut being super awkward so I just blurted out \"She's not gonna fuck you bro, move on\". he got quiet, left and then left all the chats.\n\nSome people are saying I should apologise and that I was bullying him. ######","completion":" NTA. I wish more people would have confronted the creepy dudes in my friend group. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.\nI was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.\nFor my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player\/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.\nFor my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.\nIt ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded. \nDiscussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I will maintain that your parents are assholes ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.\n\nI coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.\n\nI did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says. \n\nThis was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.\n\nBut AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######","completion":" NTA. I went by Ms. Firstname as a teacher for similar reasons. The other teacher is perfectly capable of solving her problem herself by issuing a quick and gentle correction. “My name is Mrs. Bumbleschmoop” is not hard to say. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a \"full\" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.\n\nSo with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.\n\nIncluding the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to \"extra\" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).\n\nMy stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.\n\nNot marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just \"bend the rules\" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I was leaning toward n a h because I understand why your stepmother’s feelings might be hurt, but I think her reaction went a bit too far. You didn’t “disrespect” her marriage and I don’t know why she can’t see or accept that in this situation this is really the only solution. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, but still get comments about how much of an asshole I am so I guess I'll ask here\n\nI knew my SO's (of 4 months) birthday was coming up, but wasn't really paying attention to the date. I was pulling 24\/26 hour shifts every other day for work.\n\nI won't lie, I was relying on a Facebook notification to remind me of the date.\n\nThe date comes while I'm on a 24hr shift, and I'm like \"Isn't today supposed to be his birthday?\" and check Facebook, nope. I was off by 4 days.\n\nI feel kinda like a douche for not getting the date right, but whatever. Drive home, and get ready for bed. He keeps hounding me about how he wants to do stuff, I'm like nah, I wanna go to sleep. I've been up roughly 27 hours now and don't wanna do anything.\n\n\"Not even have sex?\" \"No. I've been awake 27 hours. I'm tired!\" and he gets all huffy. \"I can't believe you don't even wanna do anything and it's my BIRTHDAY.\" I stayed up an additional 6 hours to do stuff he wanted. \n\nHe then admitted to how he was sure I would forget it being his birthday, and went onto Facebook to change the date of his birthday to prove I would forget it without Facebook reminding me.\n\nI kinda felt like a douche, but he knew I was exhausted and went as far as changing the date on his Facebook.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I was going to blame everybody because at least remembering your SO‘a birthday is a pretty important thing to do, but him changing his birthday on Facebook to trick you is beyond the pale. That’s not a trusting relationship, that’s gaslighting. I won’t even get in to how shitty it is for him to pressure you into sex.\n\nBut on your next boyfriend, who hopefully isn’t an ass, do try to remember their birthday and at least acknowledge it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and I are very close. When we need advice or just to talk we turn to each other for support. Same with my sister. \n\nMy brother married his wife in April of 2019 and have begun trying to have a baby. My brother called me yesterday and told me that they went to see her doctor and he told them that they should not try to have a biological child. My SIL takes medications that would most likely cause severe birth defects and unfortunately it is too dangerous to take her off the meds because it may kill her. \n\nObviously we were, and are heartbroken for them. My brother would be an awesome father and he loves my kids like crazy. I told him that it was not the end of the world and that they could always adopt or foster a child. He then told me that they were going to try anyway, despite the doctor telling them both that this was not a good idea because of all the risks. \n\nI got very angry with him and told him they were both being extremely selfish. That even if they were able to conceive the risk of having a child with severe birth defects that may cause them to require constant care or possibly pass away at birth was ludicrous. He said that I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what I am talking about; and he’s right. I’m not a doctor, but I do know that I would be so heartbroken for them and for their child if something were to happen. \n\nHe says that I wouldn’t understand since I have children, but I do. My second child has permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at birth. My delivery was complicated and we both almost died. My son will always have developmental delays and I will never forgive myself for it, even though I did nothing wrong nor did the doctors. \n\nMy sister and mother completely agree with me that what they are doing is terrible. However, my SILs family has been calling and messaging me and calling me terrible names. I only told my brother the truth because he asked. \n\nSo AITA for telling him the truth? ######","completion":" NTA. I was expecting a VERY different post from that title than what we got. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for obvious reasons. \n\nMy “friend” is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid about a year ago. There’s been some tension from the get-go and I know she’s wanted to kick me out for various reasons over the past few months. (Some have been direct fights, others I’ve found out through side comments made to other mutual friends.) At this point, I’m fine with it. Also fine ending the friendship. Done with the drama. \n\nI anticipate she will ask to call me in the near future, likely to officially kick me out of her wedding. The question here is: would I be a dick if I recorded the call?\n\n- She says crazy shit on these fighting phone calls. Honestly I’d like to share it with my boyfriend post-call.\n- I have no interest in blasting her online or anything, but wouldn’t mind having it as a backup to share privately in case she tries to lie about me to mutual friends. \n- My state requires one party to consent to record (so it’s legal). \n\nSo, would I be the asshole if I record this call? ######","completion":" NTA. I was booted from a wedding party for “looking too gay” and boy I wish I recorded that phone call. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background info on myself. My half-sister and I have the same father. We grew up apart, we did not meet until adulthood. We are now good friends and treat each other like sisters. My mother died of cancer and one of my biggest regrets was talking her into chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She was happy and relatively healthy even with the cancer, and I made sure that her last few months were miserable and hellish.\n\nMy sister sent me a message saying that her mother, who is 85 years old and has severe dementia, was just diagnosed with lung cancer. It has spread to her brain, bones, and liver. The doctors told my sister that she had 3 months to live, maybe, but she could live 6 months with chemotherapy and radiation. I told my sister my experience with my mother, and I recommended that she not push the treatment and just try to enjoy the 3 months she has left with her mother.\n\nI’ve never seen anyone so mad. She actually referred to me as an “attempted murderer,” called me a bastard child, and posted on Facebook about how she is surrounded by poisonous snakes disguised as friends. \n\nWas I being an asshole and over the line here? I was honestly just trying to help and be honest about my personal experience. ######","completion":" NTA. I was almost willing to give a NAH but that is a lot of reaction. \n\nI almost want to ask what you said verbatim because wow (don't feel like you need to do that, it just crossed my mind.) ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I know the title sounds like I am the asshole here but hear me out. I have a walk in closet attached to my bathroom you have to go in the bathroom to get to the closet. Currently I moved my work stuff in the walk in (its HUGE) because I needed space I can work in quiet and the area has to be able to lock.  I don't mind being attached to the bathroom most of the time, its our master bathroom so no one really uses it but us. We do have another bathroom across the apartment that is perfectly usable. My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous that when I am working I ask him to not poop in the bathroom ATTACHED TO THE CLOSET WHERE I HAVE TO WORK. Its not a big deal to go across the apartment and poop in the other one but it causes this BIG thing every time. A few minutes ago he goes to poop in the bathroom again and I reiterate that I don't want to work and have to sniff his shit the whole time and he tells me I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I told him it was a big deal to me and I don't understand why he has to be selfish about it and not just use the other bathroom. He walked away this time shutting both doors and not pooping but I know he's mad I called him selfish about it. As ridiculous as this is, Reddit am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. I was all ready to call you TA and say, \"well where else would he go?\" But there's literally another bathroom he can use. Why is it such a big deal for him to use the other bathroom? It's completely reasonable for you to not want to smell that while working. Also, is there no other room that you can work in? ######"}
{"prompt":"I just went into the kitchen and saw that my flatmate is using communal mugs to clean her menstrual cup. I know that there are probably no germs etc. left in the mug after sterilization but the thought just grosses me out. \n\nI'm a male and am aware that I might not have full insight into this situation. My flatmates are pretty pro-sexual expression, body acceptance etc. which I have no issue with but I still think it's fair enough to find something like this just gross. It has nothing to do with me finding periods gross, but I mean I would not leave blood-stained plasters or condoms lying around on kitchen plates either. \n\nI have not brought it up yet because I'm expecting some backlash and also I wanted to know the opinion of others especially other females. ######","completion":" NTA. I use a cup and would NEVER leave it in anything communal. Even if it has been sterilized, I wouldn’t leave something that goes inside my body to catch blood just out like that in things other people use. ######"}
{"prompt":"About a year or so ago, my wife asked me for advice on how to invest her IRA contributions in the stock market. Note: she was very hesitant to take my advice, and thought investing was like betting, because she thinks it is the same thing as gambling. Without pressuring at all, she took my advice anyways on what to invest in (low to moderate risk stuff). She then proceeded to mention it to me nearly every time the market had a bad day in a very whiny and complaining voice. When I reached my limit in patience after numerous such complaints, I said this is making me feel guilty and responsible, and maybe we shouldn't talk about this, and you do what you want to do with your IRA funds ( i.e. if you want to sell, do what you want.)\n\nShe proceeds to get super defensive and say how it \"wasn't her intention\" to make me feel bad. Fast forward a few months to today, she again raises how she wants some more \"tips.\" I say I don't want to be involved at all. She then proceeds to get angry at me, including for bringing up the past incidents mentioned above, and continues to focus on \"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty\" as if that's the only thing that matters. I repeatedly say that it's not really about what you intended, it's about how you speak, the context, and how that can make me feel in light of that. Now she's in another room and we aren't talking.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I understand your wife’s perspective: investing *is* a bit like gambling even if you do it full time, and even if you just put everything into an index fund.\n\nHaving said that, you offered advice that wasn’t well received and it is perfectly reasonable to not want to participate again. Your wife should be more understanding of your reluctance to act as a financial advisor, rather than taking it personally. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay for background information, I’m 18F and just recently lost my virginity a month ago. I’ve been regularly sleeping with the guy since losing it. There was a day where the condom broke and it made me start thinking about getting on birth control so that I’m double protected, I was a little hesitant at first because of all the side effects so I decided to go to the doctor and talk about my options. She ended up prescribing me the pills and I guess my mom’s number is connected to my pharmacy profile because she gets a text saying that the birth control pills have been filled. She starts blowing up my phone asking why I got birth control so I told her...\n\nNow she’s been going off on me saying I’m a disappointment and that I’m stupid for having sex and I just don’t understand? I feel like in my generation sex is just such a normal and talked about thing. I’m 18 and starting college this year.. if I didn’t lose it now I would’ve definitely ended up losing it in college anyways. But she’s starting to make me feel kinda guilty about it.. saying that I’m not the daughter she raised and she expected better of me. Also she’s mad over the fact that I didn’t tell her but I find that kinda weird and an invasion of privacy. I feel like it’s none of her business what I choose to do with my body. But I’ll ask you guys, AITA for having sex and for not telling her about it? \n\nBTW I never brought the guy into our house, I find that disrespectful. ######","completion":" NTA. I understand that some parents get upset when their kids become sexually active. However, and feel free to bring this up to your mom, she can’t be mad that you didn’t tell her when you lost your virginity-her reaction now is showing you exactly why she couldn’t be trusted with that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm working at home for now and thus doing frequent Zoom meetings. One of my co-workers has started in these meetings whenever she has to state her name and position also stating \"my pronouns are she and her\" after that. No one really seems to care either way and hasn't acknowledged that, and no one else has started doing so. She also now has them in the signature of her email.\n\nWe were recently chatting in the IM app and then she asked me why I or anyone else hasn't done this too. This is likely because we were kind of close in the office. I just told her I don't see a need and everyone already knows I'm a guy and I look like one (I even have a beard.) She got kind of upset and said that's not the point and it's about creating a more inclusive workplace but she's getting frustrated no one else is doing so. She told me it's makes things more inclusive for trans people, but we have no trans employees as far as I can tell and if we do they've transitioned so much and so effectively they are recognizable as such and would probably just want to be treated as normal. So I flat out told her that I won't be stating pronouns anywhere and don't find it necessary. She seemed to take it kind of person and has lately been a bit bitter to me, probably realizing if she can't sway me to it no one else will. I've always found our workplace inclusive and open-minded anyway and don't see how this'll help anyone.\n\nSo am I being any type of asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. I understand stating pronouns at like the start of a college class or something but in the workplace when you have already been interacting with each other frequently this is just weird. It's especially weird coming from someone who I assume is cis and does not get misgendered. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(25) boyfriend(23) was still an art student when we got together, so he used to have me be his model to practice drawing, sometimes nudes even. I am quite okay with it as long as he doesn't show them around to other people and he respected that.\n\n\nFor my birthday he used one of his old sketches of me, one with me completely bare, and recreated them as a full coloured digital painting and gave it to me. He did a wonderful job, it was so much better in comparison to his previous sketch and he added more details to it and even added flowers and some light orbs(sorry, not sure how to describe)to make it better. \n\n\nWe have come to a disagreement however when he wanted to put that painting in his portfolio.\n\n\nI told him that I am not comfortable to have a painting of me completely bare to be out there in public. His painting is so life like that I am sure people who know me can tell by its face that it is me. Furthermore, it a birthday gift for me and it feels bad to have it up in for public view \n\n\nMy boyfriend said that the painting is one of his best, his masterpiece even. It would be a shame if he cannot use it for advertising, especially since he wanted others to have him do commissions. also said that while it is a painting of me, it is not really me, it is a painting, an artwork of his. \n\n\nWhile we argued my boyfriend came to say that people wouldn't recognize it as me since I don't have the same body I had before(I gained weight recently). This set me off and I threw him out of the room. I am writing this while he is outside apologising. ######","completion":" NTA. I understand him wanting to put it in his portfolio if it’s one of his best, but if you have expressed that a nude of YOU in his portfolio makes you uncomfortable, that should be the end of discussion. If he is good enough to make that, he can put the time and effort into another piece.\n\nEdit: I need to touch on the last part of your post. Him saying that it “doesn’t even look like you anymore” is him trying to manipulate you, and he is also being extremely rude because he’s butt hurt. This is not cool and boundaries need to be set. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mom and I share my YouTube account on our TV. However, I find it rather annoying and would prefer to keep it all to myself. Not because I have anything to hide, but it's just nice to me. It's nice not to have your recommendations butchered by other people's viewing habits, it's nice not to have your watch history clogged up by things somebody else has watched, and it's just nice to have something of your own, you know?\n\nI told her I could *easily* set up her own profile in 5 minutes where she can watch whatever she want whenever she wants on her *own* account. She refused, though, because apparently that's \"too much of a hassle\" and \"oh, you want to take away the last thing that we have together?\" (which is both bullshit, by the way), and after an entire argument she finally decided to \"let me set up her account on the 1st of August\"\n\nNow, I am wondering, am I the asshole for requesting that she stops using my account, and that I'll help her get her own account, instead? We came to a compromise I *guess*, and of course it is not the end of the world if we share an account but she kept insisting I am being cruel and rude for this. ######","completion":" NTA. I understand fully, I regret putting my youtube account on the main TV because of how weird it makes my recommendations, YET it doesn't even sync the watch history with my other youtube devices, so I can't finish up an episode on a different screen without searching for it and fast forwarding to where I left off.\n\nChange your password, and put a new account for her on the TV today, she doesn't need to babying through it lol. ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.\n \nEventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I turned them off too after being woken up in the middle of the night by one. It nearly gave me a heart attack. What was I going to do? Jump in my car and go hunt them down? Besides, most of the time it’s another family member who has taken the child and they usually have a pretty good idea of where they’re headed and will catch them before anyone who got an amber alert will. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (45F) left my husband (40m) a few days ago, took my kids and went to a hotel. I was hoping to work things out but needed some time to think. We had a big fight but what it comes down to is that he doesn’t feel like I am a good mother since I got cancer. I don’t do enough around the house after being sick and having surgery and chemo. I will admit it has been hard and it’s been a long road to recovery. I started back to work 8 months ago but I still take care of my children when they aren’t at school. He has done the bulk of the housework and I appreciate everything he’s done but I’m just so tired of him telling me that I’m not a good mom, and “not even a parent”. I just had to get out of there. I just can’t accept how cruel his is to me anymore. So I gathered the kids things and left. \nOne of the things I took was my husbands iPad so that my son can do his schoolwork. I didn’t realize I could also see his messages until a notification came up while we were doing school. He was talking to my cousin (29m) who has lived with us for almost a decade. He was saying that he wished I had died from\ncancer. He said fact that I lived is the worst thing to ever happen to him. My cousin just said, “yea, I hear ya bro” and things like that. They had a long conversation and the opinion that I should have died was stated four times. Not once did my cousin, who I helped raise, defend me.\nI have not returned home because of what I saw. My husband wants to work things out, but even if I do, I don’t want my cousin in my home anymore. I am so hurt that my so called family would not defend me and would just agree that I should have died. My husband has rage issues that he needs to address and I won’t be going anywhere near him until he does, but aita to say I never want to see my cousin again either? ######","completion":" NTA. I think your cousin is the least of your problems. Your husband is such an AH for saying all that. He is toxic. Please think carefully before working things out with him. \n\nI hope you have a speedy recovery. And you are not a bad mom at all!! ######"}
{"prompt":"I have four children: 5M, 7F, 8M, and 10M. They are very close and best friends and they all love to play together. We live in a rural area and a woods is basically in our backyard. The kids love to run around in there. I’m working from home and my husband was laid off his job so husband has been sitting in the backyard and keeping an eye on them. I like to let them have free rein a little, but I can’t really trust the 10 yo to take care of the 5 yo in an emergency.\n\nI finished my work early and came out to be with my husband and kids. I notice kids are playing this game and they keep calling each other “gay”. I pull 7 yo aside and ask them what they’re playing. She explains that they’re playing that “gay game”. Basically you have to do some physical thing (cartwheel, sprint, crazy acrobatics, etc.) and whoever can’t do it or whoever does it the worst is gay. I ask husband how long they’d been playing that game and he said a few weeks. I asked him why he hadn’t stopped them and he said it was harmless. \n\nI kind of understand what he means. They probably picked it up at school or at the playground or something and they aren’t intending to offend anyone or something. I’m pretty sure they don’t even know what “gay” means. Husband says he played a game like that as a kid and I know I definitely did. I just feel like what was acceptable 40 years is not acceptable today. We have gay neighbors and this kind of negative connotation gay use is harmful in the world. I told the kids that they have to find a new game to play. They asked why and I told them that what they were playing was hurtful. I don’t think they’re taking it too hard.\n\nHusband thinks that I’m overreacting and that they’ll grow out of it. I just can’t get over the fact that he heard them playing for weeks and didn’t address it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I think you’re doing the right thing in encouraging your kids to be considerate and empathetic towards others. I’ve chipped my kids (9M and 11M) for using ‘gay’ as an insult. They know what it means in the context of someone being attracted to people of their own sex, and they are OK with it. I’ve explained to my kids that using the word ‘gay’ as an insult tells people that being gay is a bad thing and is hurtful to people who are actually gay.\n\nMaybe they could call it the “lame game” instead? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm new to this sub and I apologize in advance for any formatting mistakes.\n\nMy friend (22f) texted me a video of this good looking dude she saw at a restaurant. I noticed that she seemed to be recording over someone's shoulder so  I texted her about it and she told me she was on a date with her boyfriend.\n\nHer boyfriend (23m) is extremely caring and kind. He treats her really nicely and they've been dating for around 5 mo. He's really kind to her, nice to her friends and has good manners, keeps their apartment clean, etc. He's a really good guy and I'm really happy for her.\n\nAnyway I texted her as a joke \"did you really take this video of a handsome guy while you were on a date with BF name?\" and she told me she did because he was \"So fine\".\n\nSo I was like \"WTF?\" I thought this was really disrespectful of her to do, especially right in front of her own boyfriend. So I tried to tell her that, but she told me that she only recorded it because the other guy was really hot and she wanted to show me. \n\nSo it seemed like she was dodging my questions so I just outright told her \"Taking a video of a hot guy while you're on a date with your boyfriend is really disrespectful to him.\" She got really upset and told me that I shouldn't be meddling in their relationship and that she only took the video to show me. \n\nAITA for doing this? ... ######","completion":" NTA. I think you’re a good friend for calling out her inappropriate behavior, something that a lot of people aren’t so keen on doing. I think that sometimes being called out by someone close to you helps you really realize that what you did may be wrong. Props to you for being real with her, hopefully she’ll come to her senses. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend \\[29M\\] and I \\[23F\\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.\n\nLast night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.\n\nI thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.\n\nI just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.\n\nI realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######","completion":" NTA. I think you two should sit down and try to have a serious discussion about why he thinks you should be paying for his rent. If it’s because you have been staying at his place lately, then he needs to let you know if that’s bothering him, like an adult would. But he can’t just expect you to pay rent out of nowhere. ######"}
{"prompt":" My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.\n\n \n He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.\n\n\n I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I \"wasn't worth it\" then went into his bedroom. \n\n\n I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.\n\nAm I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ######","completion":" NTA. I think you handled this about as well as a person could. Good for you for standing up for someone in need of your help. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences. \n\nAlthough I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ######","completion":" NTA. I think since you're both owners of the house, things like that should definitely be discussed and decided between both of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: I am 16, mom is 49. \n\nMy mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping. \n\nMy mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time. \n\nHowever, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I think it’s sweet and I bet your mom will too. You’re not “marketing off her sadness”, you’re trying to help her find little ways to feel better throughout the day. Ignore your friends and give your mom the journal, and tell her why you thought of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!\n\nMy parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing. \n\nWhat happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.\n\nTo my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:\n\nMum: “You must share your tablet”\n\nMe: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”\n\nMum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”\n\nMe: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”\n\nMum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”\n\nThis led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.\n\nAm I overreacting? Help me Reddit ######","completion":" NTA. I think it's lovely that you're willing to share your tablet with your brother under supervision. Honestly, it *is* an expensive piece of tech, and toddlers can and do easily break things without meaning to.\n\nBut you're right. *You* saved up to buy something expensive and delicate. It's a lot of money at any age, but especially as a teenager, and something that will cost a lot to repair or replace should it be damaged. Not to mention how genuinely distressing it can be when something you saved up for breaks. You shouldn't be obligated to share your property. Again, I think it's lovely that you willingly do so, but you should be asked every single time.\n\nI'd definitely change the passwords (you're entitled to your privacy), and calmly explain that you're happy to let your baby brother use the tablet as long as you're aware of the fact and you're able to supervise ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? My Niece, 9, is addicted to her smart phone. Everyday whenever I see her, she is I glued to it (tiktok and games) for hours.\nWe are very close, she lives next door, and we do a ton of stuff together (kayaking, Minecraft). We are good friends, and I try to be the cool uncle but I often take a father role as well, as hers sadly is a pos that has 0 to do with her life. \n\nToday, was the same of her hiding inside on her phone while everyone else is outside. I asked my sister if she wants me to set a screen time limit. She said yes, and told me 3 hours. I did.\nMy Niece is upset at this and is pouting in silence.\nI tell her it’s no big deal, 3 hours is plenty of time, and it means more time for fun and doing real stuff. She then gives me the nastiest glare I’ve ever seen from her and lunges her head forward almost threatening.\nAt this moment, I took her phone and said, “excuse me? I don’t think so. Maybe you need this taken away for awhile.”\nWell then she immediately bursts into tears and my grandmother says to me “you’re a bully”.\nShe admittedly did not see the glare. My sister who also did not see it piles on, and consoles her daughter while telling me I’m out of line.\nFor clarity I pay for and supply the phone. \nI then tell them they are reinforcing negative behavior, undermining me and that taking away a phone is not cruel. Well I died on that hill, and I’m still pulling of chunks of tar and feathers. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I think especially at a young age of 9, there should be limits. In my eyes, it's good to prevent a reliance of entertainment on devices! It's hard to get away from an addicting thing like the media, but it's really needed especially at a point like that.\nI bet she's got a lot of creativity down there if she can get past only being on a phone.\n\n\nJust need to make sure you give her the reasons why after that when you're both in a calm mood. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin is being confirmed next year, and she's talking about a sponsor now, as is required in Catholic Confirmation. My aunt has told me that she's actually talking about me. She thinks I'm really cool (I know that) and knows that I'm way more of a practicing Christian than most of the cousins in our family. However I'm not Catholic anymore. I left almost as soon after I was confirmed and I go to a liberal church now. So I actually don't meet the requirement that the sponsor be a Catholic.\n\nI told this to my parents, and they said that's not really a big deal: since I as confirmed I'm still eligible, the church doesn't know that I left or that I go to a different one now or that I haven't been to a Catholic Mass in about 5 years. While that is true, I don't feel comfortable lying about that, or that I'd have to state things agreeing to support my cousin as Catholic, because frankly I won't, if she ever asks me about anything of the nature I'd also encourage her to leave the church and join a different one. My family is seeing this more as a generic rite of passage thing than a religious thing as I do. My mom also thinks it's not a big deal because I'm still Christian, I said that doesn't matter to the Catholic church's rules, but she thinks that can be just overlooked. She asked if I would be the sponsor if it was in a different church and I said yes. So she thinks I'm being unreasonable and discriminatory and that I should just support my cousin. The reason though is that most other churches don't require the sponsor to be that specific denomination. I feel like I'd be lying and taking a vow to things I don't agree or support if I did so. It's not a slight to my cousin, that's not why.\n\nSo am I being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA. I think an important distinction to make to your mom is that you aren’t being discriminatory, you’re actually being quite respectful. Your family’s laissez-faire attitude about the rules of the Catholic Church might work for them, but that’s not how all Catholics feel. \n\nI remember growing up, my cousin’s dad was Catholic and I went to church with them every other Sunday and they made me take Communion. In college, a class discussion about Catholicism came up, and people were upset *for* me and upset *with* my family — nonCatholics aren’t just supposed to take communion like that, and apparently it was pretty disrespectful to the whole faith. This feels a lot like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"We need social work credits to continue our studies. I used to go to an autism centre every week to help around, and everything was ok until the pandemic started.\n\nHaving no way to access the usual centers, and school being online, the teacher that is in charge of the social work decided that instead of postponing some stuff, or even extending our second year’s social work a bit, we should all donate a pantry each.\n\nAnd I know it could help a lot of people. 100 pantries are a nice help... but many people can’t even afford their own food, their families not having a job because of quarantine. It doesn’t affect me as much, but it’s still quite a lot of money that is going out of my wallet, money which I could really use this quarantine.\n\nThey didn’t even consider other options for a second. They just stated that we had to do it, and if we don’t, good luck working for the school if you want to graduate. \n\nOh, also? It isn’t even as if they made the announcement and gave us some time to sort things out. They simply dropped in, told us to go to school to give the pantries on Monday, and it’s been complete radio silence since then. ######","completion":" NTA. I suggest that you speak to the principal about this.  Some of the students' families may be using food banks themselves.  Talk about socially inept, what a teacher! ######"}
{"prompt":"Fiancée has had an eating disorder for a looooong time (more than half her life) but recovered and has been doing amazing for about a year now. This is the longest she has ever been okay for. \n\nRecently she’s been falling into old behaviours and started eating less. A lot less. She’ll fill her bowl 3\/4 of the way and leave about half of her food untouched. \n\nShe’s drinking a lot of sugar free sodas and energy drinks because they make her feel full and keeps the hunger away. \n\nShe doesn’t want to eat after 7pm which is an old resurfaced behaviour as we usually have dinner around 8pm. \n\nYesterday she admitted she was starving at around 10pm but didn’t want to eat because it was after 7pm. \n\nOne of her accounts is one I set up and connected to an email we both have access to as she doesn’t have access to her old accounts and asked me to set it up. I think she’s forgotten by now about the connection because this morning I got an email saying “congratulations on your new weight goal” from a fitness app. \n\nThe “goal” would put her BMI at around around 16 which is obviously very low but not critical. Not yet. \n\nShe has a habit of falling and falling hard because then she reached that and she’s technically fine so wants to go lower and lower and lower. \n\nLast relapsed ended her in the ICU. \n\nWe have an agreement that I don’t comment on her food because it makes her worse and worsens her relationship with food. \n\nShe made me promise that if she ever reaches a very specific weight to call professionals in to help her. \n\nWould I be the asshole for actually doing that if she gets to that weight? I can monitor her weight which she agreed on when we set it up but I believe she has since forgotten about. ######","completion":" NTA. I suggest calling professionals well before she reaches that weight. You've already noticed a bunch of signs, there is no need to wait for her be to a particular weight or BMI.\n\nEating disorder sufferers have this twisted idea that they can't get help until they are at a low enough weight because until that point, they think they \"aren't sick enough to need help\".\n\nED's can take twice the amount of time to recover as what the person actually experienced the Ed. Meaning if you had an Ed for 5yrs, you could still see someone struggling even 10yrs after beginning recovery. Recovery isn't just a quick thing. It's a life time of caring for yourself and making sure you keep yourself safe. She isn't keeping herself safe. It's up to you to help her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account. My 14yr old sister still uses a pacifier nightly. My mother has never taken it away from her. When my sister was in kindergarten my mom asked her uncle who “was a doctor” when will she get rid of it, because apparently my mom could not be bothered with that task, and he told her that she will grow out of it on her own. To this day my mom says “he lied to me” to place blame. \nI am in my thirties and do not live with them. I have a very close relationship with my sister but she will not listen to me when I talk about how it needs to go. I do not believe it to be my sisters fault, i think it’s my moms fault for not doing it herself. I asked my mom about it A couple times and she just says it was too difficult listening to my sister cry. Which I call bs on.\n I only want what’s best for my sister as she already has had consequences from using it for so long. I don’t mean to pressure her so much but I just cannot for the life of me figure out why my mom thinks this is ok. My sister understands the issue but I think at this point the only way she will let it go is if someone takes it away. \nSo, AITA or is my mom TA? Do you have any advice on this? My mom won’t do anything in regards to getting rid of it and I cannot convince her.\n\nEDIT: she is going to need braces now because of this, it has created a gap longwise in her mouth. Also, the pacifier does not get changed regularly. My sister does wash it regularly than goodness but has probably had her current one for a few years.\n\nEDIT: my sister and I are best friends. I would do absolutely anything for that kid. We have the exact same sense of humor and can talk about anything. I am never pressuring her rudely. ######","completion":" NTA. I sucked my thumb until I was about her age and it really did a number on my teeth. Like the amount of dental work I’ve had done is ridiculous and it was often painful. However, I honestly I think by 14 you’ve largely missed the boat on stopping her yourself. It’s a comfort thing, I doubt she’s crying over it, but it is genuinely difficult to stop. I only stopped after I had braces as I knew I didn’t want to go through all the issues I had with my teeth again.\n\nSo, no you’re not an asshole, but I think it’s a little too late and you need to let her figure out how to stop on her own. All you can really do is inform her of the possible consequences of continuing. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GFs family is pretty \"high class\" or whatever you want to call it, they're basically the opposite of my family in many ways both financially and socially. My mum smokes and drinks a lot and is a single mother who has been married twice, while my GFs mum is the opposite. My mum and my family are not educated and most of them have not gone to university but my GFs family are all educated and really value education which my GF does as well. They're just more \"well off\" if you can say so and compared to my girlfriend I feel a bit stupid in many ways because she literally knows everything and can hold a conversation about anything while I'm just a simple car guy who is a welder.\n\nSo yesterday we were talking about the future and she just popped up \"when will you get an education? I mean you can't be a welder forever can you\"? I told her I don't know... i might go into a specialised field or something which requires education but then she said \"it's still not very academic\" She joked about how our kids will have one dad who works as a welder and a mum who works in something that is seen as \"better\". She was being very sarcastic about it and tried to make it seem as if it was not a mean thing to say. She went on and said \"if you don't get an education then our kids will probably do the same, they probably want to be welders as well etc\" she has previously \"talked bad\" about people who work in physical field where your body is required and she says that those people are stupid. \n\nShe has previously pointed out some things I do and joked about how \"white trash\" it is such as me smoking weed or liking cars. I have had a long day so I snapped at her and called her a \"pretentious bitch\". In return I was called an asshole and that she was only trying to help me but she was so rude about it. She is not talking to me right now.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I say this as a high school teacher -- not everybody needs to go to college. I'm not saying they aren't capable or don't deserve the chance if that's what they want. What I mean is, we have this glorified view of degrees, and while in some fields they are certainly valuable and necessary, in other fields they really aren't. \n\nI have a master's degree, but I don't know how to weld. You HAVE an education; it simply isn't in academia. That does not make it less valuable, and it does not make you a lesser member of society. I can't condone partners calling each other names, but she does have a pretentious attitude about this and is clearly disrespecting you. Nobody deserves that from their partner. ######"}
{"prompt":"where im from,the wifi is generally trash. to get the good wifi,you need to pay more. my family decided to get the better one,which is still pretty bad,because we live outside the city.we moved here 2 years ago when our house was finished.our neighbors are really nice,as they let us use their electricity when we were constructing our house.we share the gas to,but the bill is shared.i should mention that when they need the gas,they shut OUR gas down so they get more gas.other than that,theyre cool i guess.about two weeks ago,they asked one of my sisters if they could get the password for the wifi,because their wifi is down.sis didnt reply and kept the other convo going,whatever it was (i wasnt there).the neighbors girl asked again,and being the non confrontational weirdo that my sister is,she gave them the password. now,i wouldnt really mind if it was one person using it,but their whole SEVEN person family is using it,which really kills the speed for us.i recently downloaded brawlhalla,and i cant even play it.i get like 100-200 kbps,which really doesnt help me play.i've considered changing the password but my sister and mother think i shouldnt,as theyre \"helping us by sharing the gas\".\n\nWIBTA if i change the password for my wifi which i pay for so i can play games ######","completion":" NTA. I saw in the comments that you were the one paying for the wifi. If that's the case then you are absolutely in the right to change the password.\n\nThis is actual hilarious as I was in this same predicament a few years ago. I had online classes but due to my neighbors entire family being connected to the wifi as well, the internet would run really slow which was hampering my school work. I ended up offering to take over the internet bill (my mom was paying it before. It was supposed to be used by my 2 sisters and I for school work but we were all experiencing this same situation). Immediately after taking over the bill I changed the password. Nobody else knew it and I would be the one to input the password into their devices so there would be no chance of them sharing it to anyone else.\n\nThis may be a bit extreme but our neighbors were actually our uncle and his family which is why my mom had felt the need to give them the password. I however did not feel the same as I considered my uncle to be a freeloader. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back. \n\nIgnoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair. \n\nBlocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media. \n\nThis is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######","completion":" NTA. I read a story once where she would look up their info and send screenshots to their mothers. 🤔 ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m pretty sure I am in the right because my intention is solely to keep her healthy...but I feel terrible about it sometimes.\n\nMy grandma is 72 with Alzheimer’s. She does not understand that Advil, Motrin, Bayer, etc...are all essentially the same thing. She will take a couple Motrin for her headache, then 30 min later take Advil for her back pain. Sometimes she will forget when she took them and take them too close together.\n\nThis only came to my attention when she had stomach pain and was then diagnosed with gastritis, and me being home all day due to the shutdown. So I told her I’m hiding all those pills because she abuses them and everyday she comes to me asking for more for some new pain she has.\n\nI ask now because I just found like 15 pills god around the house. \n\nAm I being the asshole by not giving her access to subdue her pains? ######","completion":" NTA. I only worked with dementia patients for a short time, but came to understand that they don't always know if they are in pain. We had a lady that always told us her leg was sore and we couldn't touch it during personal care; not to say she wasn't in pain but long story short, the doctor who her daughter discussed a poss hip replacement basically said those with dementia might just be saying it because they remember it being sore at one point - if that makes sense?\n\nMaybe you could make a chart with the meds and times with grandma? Explain to her that whenever she has a pill for pain (maybe list them?) you'll mark it off and make sure she does it with you. You may have to repeat yourself each time but it may be a way of reducing her intake further and you could even just keep only one brand, and tell her they're different? I'm not sure what they are exactly as I'm UK ... because she could also remember you're keeping them from her and she may start accusing you of stealing them and other things, you're abusing her, you don't care etc...\n\nThese are only based on examples I have learned over the years from friend with relatives who have this awful disease, and I'm aware it varies wildly from person to person.\n\nSpeak to her doctor too before you do anything else. \n\nI hope you get this sorted and that you and your Grandma are otherwise safe and well x ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I recently moved to America from Ireland in the last few months working in an IT. Now despite always finding Americans who say they're Irish or \"plastic paddies\" as we call them back in Ireland annoying, I knew when people say that in America, they just mean their heritage so \"when in Rome, do as Romans do\". So on occasion, when I tell people i'm Irish, i'd get the odd American saying \"Oh cool i'm Irish too cause my great great great granddaddy was from Ireland\" followed by cringey questions like \"did you know we Irish were slaves too?\" I'd let this slide, smile and nod and just to try to change the subject as soon as possible.\n\nNow in the IT where I work, there's this woman (lets call her Julie) who claims to be Irish because of a grandparent I think and she was basically the plastic paddy stereotype e.g. \"I have an Irish temper\" and \"I had too many Irish car bombs last night\". Once again, I let it go because when in Rome. Then one day during a group meeting, when people asked me what its like in Ireland, she kept interrupting me and basically took over the conversation about what its like in Ireland despite admitting to never being. It got to the point where I was becoming visibly irritated but once again said nothing because when in Rome. Then when she went to the bathroom, people started laughing saying \"you looked so annoyed there\" and I made one comment saying to them \"just because your great great grandfather once had a Guinness in Cork doesn't make you Irish\" which all but one woman laughed at. That one woman turned out to be one of her closest friends. \n\nThen Julie confronted me about mocking her because obviously her friend grassed. I then just told her straight up she's not Irish and to not speak over me when it comes to experiences in Ireland, and to \"stay in your lane\". She then went off in a huff and hasn't talked to me since. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I once had an Irish-American woman have a whole blow up row with me for calling the language Irish instead of Gaelic. The fact that I live in Ireland and have spoken Irish since I was 4 did nothing to dissuade her. It's incredible draining ######"}
{"prompt":"First-time poster, long-time lurker. \nFor some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago. \n\nMy Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.\n\nAt first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets. \n\nI chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards. \n\nWas I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ######","completion":" NTA. I mean, what would happen if you got rid of your pets and you two broke up afterwards? Sounds to me like she didn't think living with animals would be as different or as cool as she thought... That or the novelty ran out so she wanted you to make her more comfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######","completion":" NTA. I mean, practically speaking, i'm not sure exactly what your options are, but he should definitely be paying if he wants to benefit from it. Your housemate is a huge asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity.\n\nHe and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions. \n\nHe passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family.\n\nI told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I mean, its your business, you can hire whoever you want. \n\nWhile it'd be nice if you could hook her up with a job, you are under no obligation to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I mean, it's not like you really had the time to get attached to them, plus everyone processes loss differently. I can think of a lot more jerkish behavior than moving on from something you couldn't do anything about. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I mean, I doubt you're super close to your boyfriend's 6 year old cousin, so it's not like your absence ruined the party for the kid or anything. Also, does he let you pick his outfits for him? No? Then I don't see what right he has to tell you what to wear. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this. \n\nSo they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people. \n\nShe says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.\n\nWell, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about. \n\nMy mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.” \n\nAnd I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”\n\nShe was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”\n\nI was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”\n\nShe was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.” \n\nBut it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience. \n\nSo, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?\n\nOn a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######","completion":" NTA. I love this analogy. Sounds like she hasn't worked through her trauma enough to accept that she's wrong. Serious kudos to you for not accepting the racism you were raised in. ######"}
{"prompt":"My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.\n\nLately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to \"help out\" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.\n\nNot only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees. \n\nI finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee. \n\nOf course she cried to my brother that I \"attacked\" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ######","completion":" NTA. I love people who think that because this is a family business she needs to be able to give an opinion. You already spoke to your brother but he most likely either ignored you or his wife ignored him. Or he did not get what you were saying. \n\nEither way she can’t show up and “help”.  Either she works here or she does not. She is disrupting the office ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my roommates just moved into a new place. We are musical people and people give away old pianos for free all the time on FB marketplace and apps like Letgo. We found one we liked and enlisted the help of a friend with a truck to go pick it up. I asked the person on the app if 1pm was okay to pick it up and she said yes and said her house was located across from a post office in a specific town and that she'd give me the address when I was getting close. No biggie, logical enough. \n\nAs we got closer I messaged several times to try and get the address. No response. We get to the post office and wait a while for a response but dont get one. We knock on some doors of the houses across the street and ask if they knew the person on the app but no one did. We waited almost an hour. The app gives a general location of the seller, which was about a mile from where the post office was, so we drive that direction and miraculously we see the piano from the street in the garage if a house. We pull into the driveway and I go knock on the door, but the house seems abandoned. \n\nThe neighbors approach and we say are there to pick up the piano and they say to go ahead and watch as we put it in the truck. We go home, with the piano, get it in the house and settle in. The seller messages me on Letgo at 6pm absolutely furious that we took it. 5 hours after the agreed upon time, for a free item you could see from the road. She was not happy we found the address without her giving it to us proclaiming we could have taken anything even after I explained that her neighbors were there and we wouldnt have taken it if no one was there. ######","completion":" NTA. I likely would have done the same thing. It was logically presumed that you could grab the piano. Besides, pianos aren't just sitting outside of houses on a regular day. Why were they furious? But if it came down to a legal matter, I think you'd likely lose. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl. \n\nMy new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day. \n\nI have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels. \n\nSo because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one.  No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area. \n\nToday I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here. \n\nMe: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol. \n\nThis girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few  seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad. \n\nThings were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!\" And \" are you gay?\" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them. \n\n\nTo me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here. \n\nAITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ######","completion":" NTA. I laughed at “it’s unnatural”. You know what is actually natural?  Being sweaty and stinky because you don’t use deodorant at all. \n\nI swear they put something in men’s deodorant that is stronger than women’s. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be.  I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.  \n\nI do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8.  When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.  \n\nMy mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.   \n\nAm I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. I know it could be difficult for your sister to be tucked in by different people, but since she was able to fall asleep soon after it, it doesn't look like it was much of a problem. Some parents would be proud of you for working hard, good job! ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (23f) sisters (22f, 20f, 18f) are all home from college right now. So there are a lot of girls in the house and a lot of periods. I mostly use cloth pads, but when I have to use a disposable (mainly if I'm traveling or out of the house for a whole day, I hate carrying used pads in my purse) I have to use an expensive natural brand (7th Generation) because I have sensitive skin. If I try to use Always or store brands... it's not good. My sisters keep taking my expensive pads. I've asked them nicely 1-3 times each to please not take my pads. They said okay, sorry and continued to take them. So today when I was at the dollar store for groceries I went ahead and picked up some of the cheapest pads. 10 for a buck. These are one of the few cheap brands I can use and they work just fine, they are just bulky so I would rather not. I went ahead and hid my pads in my room. I put the pads in a basket that said \"PADS FOR MOOCHERS\". When my middle sister saw it she got mad. She said the sign was insulting and the pads I got were \"horrific garbage\". My other sisters and mom agreed. They want me to put my pads back in the bathroom because I \"don't use them that much anyway\". I said sure if they chip in for the cost but they said no because their student jobs closed down when the colleges did. So for some reason I should have to pay for their pads even though my job is closed too. I do have some savings but my parents were able to keep working from home and would gladly give them a bit of spending money if they asked nicely. I think maybe I should have just put the pads out without a sign but was I really the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. I know from experience that 7th Generation is pricey. My mother is literally allergic to most pads (and sadly, 7th Gen doesn't pass the mark because I think it uses wood instead, and she's allergic to pine), and I just finished my period and have a rash myself.   \n\n\nIf I were you, I'd keep your 7th Gen pads in your dresser or somewhere not in the bathroom. It isn't an adequate solution, but clearly your other period-having family members are not willing to conform for your needs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've had this phone number for 3 years. Since then, I receive many texts from the guy asking for verification codes and security codes sent to my number. The verification codes have started to seem scammy, including Google verification codes from non-Google numbers. And he asks me to send the code so he can verify his identity.\n\nFor years, I've been okay with it because I figure it can't hurt to help this guy out. But now, after years, I'm fed up and I'm starting to think my own identity is in danger from this guy still using my cell phone number.\n\nAfter the most recent suspicious interaction I've had (the various Google verification codes) I decided to just block him. I feel bad, AITA? Should I unblock him and continue to help him unlock his accounts? ######","completion":" NTA. I know 0 about whether or not your identity is actually at risk, but this situation is super sketchy. Clearly, he has a new phone. He can use that number. You've had the patience of saint for even putting up with it this long. ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.\n \nEventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I just wish I could shut off that frickin' \"Presidential Alert\". ######"}
{"prompt":"An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out  for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.\n\nWhen she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean\/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).\n\nSo of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!  \n\nNo response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.\n\nI reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.\n\nI texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.\n\nI called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.\n\nSo they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.\n\nSo..  AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. I have had to call the police for 2 wellness checks in the past. Its not easy. I hope your friend can learn to forgive you and understand that you did it for them. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is pretty fucking embarrassing but my girlfriend is insisting I write on here to get judgement so here we go. \n\nI’ve got a bit of a dodgy belly pretty much always. I’m not sure why, doctor has never really paid attention to it when I bring it up other than changing my diet (which I’ve done a million times but doesn’t help) and basically every morning and evening like clockwork I need to go and use the shitter. It’s painful, embarrassing, and idk why it happens to me but there we go. \n\nMy girlfriend of 4 years knows this and she often laughs at me because I disappear for long bouts of time. It isn’t fun, my stomach fucking cramps and hurts and I ain’t going for the fun of it. \n\nAnyway yesterday evening my girlfriend decided to set herself up a nice bath including candles, wine, etc. I told her I might need the bathroom but she said I should be fine since I hadn’t eaten all day. \n\nWell after around 10 mins as she’s running her bath, all of a sudden the urge comes and I’ve learned not to fucking question the urge because otherwise it’s bad news for me and my underpants. I ran past her to go to the loo shouting sorry I need to go, and it was all I could do to slam the door shut let alone anything else. \n\nShe’s absolutely furious with me and thinks that I’m the arsehole because I didn’t take time to cover her wine or anything, I’m bloody pissed off with her because it’s not like I can help it and she’s making me feel stupid for not ‘holding on’ like I should have in her opinion. ######","completion":" NTA. I have friends with IBS and when they need to go they need to GO. Yeah, it would have been nice to have gotten her wine out of there first, but it is what it is. She knows your situation and is being unreasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.\n\nMy mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.\n\nToday, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.\n\nAITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######","completion":" NTA. I have children your age, and I would never crawl into bed with them. Your mom has a problem with boundaries. If it's a continuing problem and she won't listen to you, perhaps discuss with your other parent or an aunt\/uncle? Best wishes. ######"}
{"prompt":"So Let me start off by saying that I am in the 8th grade and my sister is in the 11th\n\n\nSince online class has started I have been struggling with the work load, combined with other tutoring lessons I usually have to work into the weekend which does not please my parents at all, which I understand because then I can’t do other stuff like hiking or doing walks with them.\n\n\nIt was all fine until they sat me down one afternoon to tell me that I was not meeting my expectations that they have set for me and that I should be working harder like my sister. Who has her work done in the first 3 days of getting the assignment. They carried on repeating themselves about how I should be more like my sister and all that.\n\n\nThis occurred about 1 month ago and since then they have been constantly telling me to work harder like my sister. Until I finally just snapped yesterday, I started to break down with tears forming in my eyes and I started saying\n“ Stop fucking comparing me to my sister, please!”.\n\nI know I probably went overboard for that but it was all the emotion that I had built up over this time and I know I probably am the ass hole , but I just want more opinions on this. \n\nCurrently I have still not had another long interaction since yesterday but I hope we can settle since soon.\n\nAlso sorry I know formatting is bad, sorry for that I’m on phone. Also I know it’s not as good as the others on here but I just needed to talk,\nThank you for reading. ######","completion":" NTA. I have been compared to my siblings during a long time (they are both very hard workers) and it feels terrible. Your sister probably love online classes and you’re struggling a little and that’s fine. Your parents should understand that instead of constantly comparing they should help you with your work (help you planning, answer some questions you have, help you if you have pc problems,...) ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my high school best friend is getting married and it’s a big deal for her we’ve talked about this as long as I can remember. I’m really happy for her but I am a full time college student and I work on top of volunteer work for my major. I would really like to help but if I’m being realistic it’s an extra thing I can’t really deal with at the moment. She is very upset with me and doesn’t understand why I don’t have time to help. Yesterday she texted me that if I can’t start helping more she no longer wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I completely understand and to be honest I was upset but I can’t promise her time I don’t really have at the moment. Me saying I understand if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore apparently upset her more and my friends are now all upset with me and want me to basically beg her to be a bridesmaid. I would like to be apart of her wedding but I don’t want to beg her for it and promise to help her when I honestly don’t have the time so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I have been a bridesmaid over 20 times (big, big, big extended family and lots of friends) and I’ve seen this exact scene play out 25% of the time. Sometimes, women who have been planning their weddings for a long time forget that it is not the focus of other people’s lives as well. You cannot commit the time or money she wants out of you for this, so you were honest and accepted her decision. Asking you to beg for it is just some drama bs, don’t do it. She’ll be fine again a couple weeks after her wedding, or she’ll lose her entire mind and you’ll never have to speak to her again, but neither of those outcomes are under your control. ######"}
{"prompt":"Will provide more context if needed, it's a lot to fit in to 3000 characters. Using my throwaway since this is quite personal.\n\nMy mother died around 2.5 years ago. I now live with my father, and two of my three brothers. My youngest brother is very high functioning autistic (Please excuse my language here, I know the term high functioning isn't the best but I'm not sure what the appropriate term is, please feel free to correct me and I'll change it in an edit). He's 13 now, very keep-to-himself, just likes to play on the computer, go to the shops, and go for walks. He does have some behavioural issues, such as having huge meltdowns whilst watching TV because he doesn't like what happens on it. None of us are very close with my dad since he was the breadwinner, and he wasn't a huge part of our lives until our mum passed. Obviously now we see him all the time.\n\nAfter my mum passed, my dad told me that in the will, I will get my youngest brother's share of the inheritance and be financially responsible for him. In my understanding, this means he goes into my care. I was never asked if I was okay with this, I was just told about it. I believe this was decided because since he was born I was actively helping out, and I started babysitting semi-regularly when I was about 10. Whenever my mum would worry herself about who would look after him in the future, I'd chip in with \"It's okay, I'll do it!\", because 10 year old's don't really think about consequences. I continued saying I'd take him on until I was around 16 because secondary school brought on some strong depressive episodes and I genuinely didn't think I'd be around past age 18, so again, a non-adult not thinking about the consequences.\n\nMe and my brothers discuss it regularly because we know even if we all pool money together, we can't afford a care home, but I don't know what options we have really. I guess I just want to know, AITA for not wanting to become a carer? ######","completion":" NTA. I have a similar situation with a severly mentally and physically handicapped sister. Tell your dad that you don't want to be a carer. You don't have to do this, but my siblings and I agreed to give up our inheritance so that it could go into a trust to take care of our handicapped sister. You do not have to be a carer for your brother. But tell your dad so that he can prepare ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######","completion":" NTA. I have a gluten allergy (and some other foods) which sucks but I would never ever tell my SO they can’t have that stuff! \n\n(They take precautions for me.) ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.  \n\nYesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 \/10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10\/10 \n\nHe accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######","completion":" NTA. I have a friend who’s also extraordinarily like your friend, and it’s to the point where it’s obnoxious. Even if they DID meet a person who lived up to their physical standards, it’s unlikely that person will also meet their other standards too. Personally, I would much rather a partner who I can chat with and has similar likes as me, over them being my 10\/10. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHey There.\n\nMy parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.\n\nSorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######","completion":" NTA. I have a feeling your mom is lying about why you didn’t have contact with them. Just because you have money doesn’t mean other people have a right to it. $50k is a ton of money and they should be grateful for that. You might just want to wait until she’s an adult, so there is no chance of your mom spending the money. Also, if this aren’t her grandparents in any way, why should she be entitled to benefit off of it? ######"}
{"prompt":"Earlier today, me and my mom had an argument about me not liking dogs, I told her my reasons but as it seemed, she refused to accept it. I went back to my room and thought that it is all over. Few hours later, she called me to help her with the laundry, I wasn't thinking much about it and went to help her, however, she started telling me that persons who don't like dogs are in fact horrible people and have problems with their inner selves, I asked why she thinks so and she just said ,,I have 45 years of an experience and that's more than you have\" and now, she don't want to talk to me until I change my view on dogs..\n\nAm I the asshole?\n\n(Sorry for my English, not a native English speaker) ######","completion":" NTA. I have 46 years of life experience so I know better than your mom: your mom is wrong - you are completely normal. I don’t like dogs either; they are one of the most annoying pets. So don’t worry about what your mom said, she clearly has problems with her inner self and is projecting onto you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.\n\nMy wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.\n\nMy wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.\n\nI am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota. \n\nShe says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. I hate to say it but if entitled family in-law are a common issue for you, you might want to downsize. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had recently had a huge falling out with my family. Long story short, my siblings and parents wanted me to leave all my money to my nieces and nephews, I told them where they could go and threatened to stop paying for my parents' assisted living if they kept this nonsense up. I think the possibility of loosing their cushy lifestyle spooked my parents, because suddenly their tune had changed from \"You're so selfish\" to \"aww! we didn't mean it. Lets talk\". So, after they kept pestering me have a word with them in person,  I invited them over.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nNow my parents know damn well that chocolate is bad for dogs, but my mom has tried to give them some on many occasions. When I tell her off she always comes back with \"but maybe they like it\" and \"I was just being nice\". This time when they came over, I left them in the living room and went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. While I was there, one of my dogs came over to greet them. I could see them from the kitchen. My mom petted him for a while, then reached into her purse and pulled out a bar of chocolate. She broke off a piece and was about to give it to him when I stormed over and knocked it out of her hands.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy parents looked shocked. I was enraged. Even after being told repeatedly that chocolate is bad for dogs, they just didn't get it. When I asked my mom what the hell she was doing, my dad actually started yelling at me and told me I was being rude. I told them either they were complete morons or they were intentionally trying to hurt my dog. I told them I was sick of their BS and that they were on very thin ice with me. When they tried to argue back, I grabbed my dad by the arm and walked him out the door. My mom followed, crying. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy sister has sent me a text, berating me and calling me cruel for trying to protect my dog. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI think my reaction was appropriate. But I'd like to know what you think. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I hate to say it but I think you mom might have been giving the chocolate on purpose. Don't ever let them near the dogs again. They're horrible people it seems. ######"}
{"prompt":"In have this new coworker, 22F.  She has been here less than a year and comes with a limited amount of experience.  Nonetheless she is a very Type-A coworker and has identified herself a future manager.  As such she is very directive in talking and often points at people when addressing them, snaps her fingers when requesting information or asking\/telling someone to do a job.  We all take turns in the position of “workload supervisor” and she is a little overbearing when it’s her turn.  \n\nA while ago I told her immediately after a finger snapping incident (she was requesting information and was snapping to get my attention and  was quite persistent) that she needs to stop.  She sort of agreed but really just defended her actions as she said she just wants to make sure things are done right. I told her no, never again, it’s disrespectful.  I have since told her on 2 more separate occasions to stop.  She persists. \n\nAITA for wanting to make her stop snapping?  (Hey, flipnsip. *snap* I need this done. *snap* *snap* Now. ** )\n\nFor the record, manager is aware of her type-a leanings and just believes that is how she is.  Most coworkers hope she grows up and stops.  They find her irritating and immature but hope she is either going to improve or go on maternity leave.  At no point is her work anything other than average no matter her own perceived level of importance. I honestly try to avoid her but cannot stand the *snapping*. Not at me or any other coworker. ######","completion":" NTA. I hate that crap, you're not a dog, you're a human being. If she has such an issue where she feels constantly compelled to do it, tell her to put her hands in her pockets or something. Ik it's usually not an intentional kinda thing so just be nice about it ######"}
{"prompt":"So I met with a friend this past weekend to chat. We're both 21M white guys and go to the same college, but live about 45 minutes away. We decide to meet halfway at this one cafe.\n\nAnyways, we're chatting about various life topics and the discussion of haircuts come up. He says that not being able to get a haircut is good because he can \"blend in\" with everyone having bad haircuts (or something along those lines.) Now I've gone to places such as Great Clips my whole life, and started going to a local black barbershop about 3 years ago. The difference was night and day in terms of both the experience and quality of haircut.\n\nSo I said to him, \"You should try going to a black barbershop. They always get you right\" and told him about how good my hair always is, and how the barbers make you feel at home. He responded with a simple \"yeah I understand.\" And we changed the conversation and everything was good I thought.\n\nToday I texted him and asked if he wanted to meet again and he texted back saying he'd be happy to but added \"don't bring up weird topics again\" I asked him what he meant and he brought up what I told him and said I was borderline racist?? I don't understand what exactly I did wrong in this situation and confused on how it could be racist.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I go to an African-American owned hair salon with African-American barbers and hairstylists and with majority African-American customers. I am not black. I go there because I feel the owner is the absolute best hairstylist in my entire city. I send people of all races to her salon. I always have great haircuts and a great time there.  \n\nThere is nothing racist about supporting any locally owned small business. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago I (20m) was out at the supermarket getting a few things when a girl came up to me and asked for my number saying I look \"cute\". Problem is I'm gay as you can probably guess from my name. Me never experience this before tried to be as polite as possible and told her \"thank you I'm flattered but I'm gay, sorry about that\". I thought all would be good after that but she got upset and started ranting about how all the guys are turning gay and proceeded to call me a f_g and tr_nny for some reason (I'm not trans at all so that was confusing. I having the true blue potty mouth I have called her a c_nt and told her good luck finding a guy who wants to put up with c_nt like you. When i got home I told my sister what happened and she called me TA saying that I have no right to call a woman a c_nt and that I should consider myself lucky she would even ask me for my number. So I'm here getting the opinion of the people, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I get that word is a lot more offensive in the US than it is here, and you shouldn't engage with people who have a poor IQ for a glass of water, but i mean, if the shoe fits. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok.\n\nSo I drive trucks for a living and I'm not home all the time to fix things when they break down or mess up.\n\nWe have a dwindling rat problem that's slowly being taken care of by the exterminator that I pay to come to my house once a month.\n\nSo the rats that are remaining in the house decided to crawl up into the backside of my washer and chew holes into the drain hose of the washer letting water either leak out or shoot out depending on if the washer is running or not.\n\nMy wife called to tell me that the rats have chewed a hole in the drain line and that it needed to be fixed. I told her that I would be home in a few days and that's when I'd be able to fix it. The part including shipping is roughly $30. The washer itself is only 3 years old. Still works great.\n\nShe calls me back a few hours later and tells me that she spent over a $1000 for a new washer and gets mad at me for getting pissed that she would waste over 30x the amount it would take to fix the old one, proceeds to yell at me and call me a asshole for getting pissed while she's stating that she needs to be able to do laundry for the next few days until I get home.\n\nEdit: Wife and kids at home with no washer for 2 days. ######","completion":" NTA. I get not wanting to go without a washer for days, but why didn't she just *call a repairman?!* ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.\n\nThey have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again. \n\nI am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house. \n\nWIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ######","completion":" NTA. I genuinely hate when people let bad people get away with things because \"it will ruin their life.\" Who cares? They have no remorse or care for other people, so why should they be protected? They already stole from you once and will almost definitely do it again. ######"}
{"prompt":"As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!\n\nI don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense. \n\nFast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.  \n\nNow, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell. \n\nI told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin. \n\nSo, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)\n\nThey were argumentative, so I told my cousin. \n\nOf course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result. \n\nSomebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.  \n\nAITA, and if so, why? ######","completion":" NTA. I find lying to children about their biological parents to be one of the most disrespectful and horrible things an adult guardian\/parent can do. Children deserve to know this information when they are old enough to process. Adults keeping this from children for their own selfish reasons is wrong. If I was your cousin I would be thankful that at least one person in my family respected me enough to not lie to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.\n\nThis really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I feel like in the heat of arguments we say things we don't really mean especially with our siblings. It's almost inevitable. I've had this same exact experience happen with my sister and me as well at another person's house. Yes, in front of our parents. Its embarrassing looking back on it, but it's important as long as you two make up then things will be okay again. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1\/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.\n\nLiving with her was detrimental to my mental\/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.\n\nShe's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.\n\nToday, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######","completion":" NTA. I feel for her and her situation. But you have to put yourself and your health first. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (22 F) family is very religious, I am not but I respect it . I am the only child that still lives at home. We are not a close family but we do have weekly dinner’s where my other two siblings come to (25 M) (30F). My mother (65 F) uses this weekly dinner to insult me during her “prayers” before dinner. Think “Dear God please help us for SOME members of our family are cold and heartless” and “Dear God please help SOME of us for being evil”. I usually interject and say that a prayer is not the time to insult me. Then she says that’s what prayers are for and it’s rude to interrupt a prayer. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I dont think theres anything wrong with defending yourself. Also to me that's not praying, its using religion as an excuse to be nasty. ######"}
{"prompt":"He threw a fit after me and my mom were cleaning my sisters room, and I accidentally dropped a glass. He then unloaded the dishwasher, re-arranged the kitchwn dish layout, and moved my moms cups to a place where she can barely reach them. I sent him that, and he responds \"They where there for half the time we lived here\" I go \"Well it hurts her back to get them, and she shouldnt have to climb to get them. I get payed to do the dishes, she does them 2\/7 days a week, and he does them once a month, if that, and me and mom do 97% of cooking. ######","completion":" NTA. i dont give a fuck who pays for the house, whoever cooks and cleans the kitchen most of the time, the kitchen belongs to them. \n\nAlso, u getting payed to do the dishes? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and half now. Bloodwork came back all great, sperm analysis came back great. There are a few more diagnostic tests I can have done, but COVID has thrown a wrench in those plans as of late. \n\nMy mother in law is a newly graduated sonographer, but DOES NOT work in an OB\/GYN setting. She does diagnostic work for veins, the heart, kidneys (I'm probably describing her job poorly) - but she does not work with the uterus, fertility, at all, whatsoever, period.\n\nShe is understandably impatient because she wants me to \"get pregnant already\" (all 3 of her children were not planned) and every time she sees me, she has a new BS diagnosis for me that she likely read online. So she is CONVINCED that my uterus is fucked up and backwards, upside down, etc. you name it - and won't stop asking me to scan my uterus and what not. But ... I really don't feel comfortable having my anatomy looked at - MUCH LESS DIAGNOSED from someone who is not a doctor and does not specialize in this field. \n\nI know she means well, but I really wish she'd stop acting like I'm broken. ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t use strong language very often here, but tell her to fuck off. Your uterus is your business, not hers. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all,\n\nI’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities\/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism\/ADHD\/etc.\nI have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.\n\nOne of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged\/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.\n\nJ is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.\n\nI decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.\nShe immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.\nI got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t think “mental issues” is the right way to say it, but it sounds like that’s not how you worded it to his mom. Seems like you’re looking out for his best interest. It’s your job to keep the kids safe and teach them, and you can’t teach everyone if you need to spend the entire class with him. It’s not fair to him OR the other kids. Mom is in denial and needs a serious wake up call. If she doesn’t seek help for his sensory needs now, how TF does anyone expect him to grow up into a functioning adult? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.\n\nI told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.\n\nShe said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.\n\nShe then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).\n\nI told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.\n\nI’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t necessarily disagree it would be nice for your husband to get over himself a bit more (or for you to ask, idk if he actually says no). You are pregnant, after all, and I’m sure you don’t like all the struggles that come with it any more than he would like giving you a few more foot rubs and stuff. \n\nYou should be in this together, and the bulk of it falls on you already, so it sounds unfair and not like the healthiest relationship if you feel like you should take on all of it so he’s not bothered. Then idk if he really just has a thing against foot rubs and he’s caring and generous in every other way, but just pointing that out.\n\nWhat your friend does is definitely manipulative and immature, anyway. Messed up, childish, and totally something that you had every right to call her out on. ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting this for my sister! We’ll call her Maggie. \n\n31 years ago Maggie and her twin brother were born to our mom, and her birth father, (John) walked out on them and our mom. Our mom didn’t seek child support or custody, as John left the state and dropped all contact. He was an addict and had no interest in being a father. \n\nA few years later, our mom met my dad and they got married, had me, and my dad helped raise Maggie and our brother. \n\nAgain, my mom never received any child support from John. \n\nA few years ago Maggie found John on Facebook and saw she had other siblings from him so she added them and John on Facebook to try and get to know them. She’s not close with John, but she’s spoke with him off and on to wish him happy birthdays and holidays etc. \n\nBecause of what’s going on in the world, everyone here got a stimulus check. Today, John messaged Maggie and said “tell your mom your welcome” and when Maggie pressed him, he said “she got 850 from my stimulus check. When you were little she wouldn’t let me see you so I wouldn’t give her money.”\n\nLet me stress, our mom didn’t get any extra money. So whatever money he’s talking about, we didn’t get anyway. \n\nMaggie was shocked and said “I should thank you for not supporting us?” And he blamed our mother for that. \n\nMaggie said “sorry but I don’t agree. No matter the circumstance a parent should support his children. Mom never bad mouthed you and I understand you had a hard life with addiction and jail. But don’t expect gratitude for the government taking money from you because you didn’t do the right thing 30 years ago.” \n\nIt’s been a couple of hours but my sister is now worried she was an asshole to say that to him. \n\nSo, Reddit, is my sister TA for saying this to her birth father? ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t know where the $850 he thinks he deserved went, but without formal custody and child support order in place, nothing went to your mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife (33f) and I (43m) have three kids from 3 to 10. She is a stay-at-home mom because I make enough money to support the whole family, she prefers not to work, and she wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for the preschoolers if she worked.\n\nAnyway, even before my job went to work-from-home, she put minimal effort into taking care of the house, and more often than not, we would eat out because she didn't want to cook, and I'd often get home too late to cook myself. Most days I'd come home to the house an utter wreck, with clothes, toys, food, and trash from one end of the house to the other (she usually fed the kids on the sofa while she played on her computer). I'd clean the house as best I could with the limited time I had, only to find the house trashed the next day I got home from work.\n\nNow that I'm working from home, I'm doing practically everything. Preparing every meal, changing the 3yo, teaching 10yo, cleaning house, doing virtual Taekwondo with the kids, baths, bedtime, on top of working 40 hours a week. Many days she won't even get out of bed, just getting her laptop from her nightstand and playing her online game (often expecting me to bring her meals in bed). If she does leave the bed, it's to go sit at the desk and play. She literally plays her game from when she wakes up until she goes to sleep.\n\nI'm overwhelmed, overworked, and tired. There's no physical disability keeping her from taking care of thing, although she does have a learning disability and Asperger's.\n\nI'm at the point of shutting off and\/or severely limiting her Internet access during the daytime to get her off the computer, pay more attention to us, and do things around the house. But, she's a grown woman, so part of me feels that putting child safety restrictions on her computer would be infantilizing and demeaning.\n\nSo, WIBTA for shutting down my wife's ability to play her online game to get her to help me take care of the house and kids? ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t know that this is the best way to deal with your problem, but clearly you have to do something because you basically have four kids now and no partner. It is possible that she’s just being lazy, but it sounds like there’s something very wrong here. She needs to speak with her doctor if she’s not getting out of bed. Did she used to be more active? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.  \n\n\nOne of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ######","completion":" NTA. I don’t care what gender you are - your body, your body hair, your business, period. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us. \nI generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.\nA few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue. \nAm i overreacting? Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't want anyone to have my face as their phone background honestly. totally weird for him to do that. it seems like this dudes got some serious feelings for you and maybe reconsider the friendship if he seems this hung up on it ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language. \n\n\nThrowaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad. \n\n\nI (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.\n\n\nBasically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this\n\n\nGay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you. \n\nMe: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend. \n\nGG: That's all you're going to say? \n\nMe: Yeah? What am I supposed to say? \n\nGG: Don't you like me back? \n\nMe: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship. \n\nGG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))\n\nMe: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you\n\nGG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))\n\n\nOf course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.\n\n\nso reddit\n\nAITA for not liking a gay girl? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't understand why people are calling you an asshole for not cheating on your boyfriend. It seems like they might be playing on the AWFUL stereotype that everyone who identifies as bi is a cheater. Also nobody should shame you for not being attracted to someone. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.\n\nI decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.\n\nAm I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't think she's being stupid, though. I think she wants to be a victim and play martyr. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently made an online clothing purchase, which I was really excited about. I expressed my excitement to my boyfriend while the package was in transit. Once it arrived, I put on one of the shirts and sent a picture to my boyfriend. He responded “wtf is that?” With laughing emojis and when I said “wow” back, he responded with “you can’t be serious right?”\n\nI expressed to him that I was upset about what he said. I suggested to him that instead of making rude comments he should just say I look nice (even if he doesn’t think so). He seemed baffled at this request and asked if I wanted him to “just be a fake person”. \n\nHe tried to clarify that he didn’t mean I looked ugly, only that he didn’t picture me to wear something like that. He said I was overreacting and that I “love to make arguments out of nothing”. \n\nSo, AITA for being upset over something so small? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't necessarily think that the solution here is for him to say you look nice, but he certainly shouldn't have made fun of you and belittled you like that. Him saying you make arguments out of nothing is a deflection because he doesn't want to admit he was being insensitive.\n\nOf course, I suppose it depends on what the shirt was... if it was actually a Barney costume or some sort of thing that looks like it could be intentionally absurd, that would change my answer. ######"}
{"prompt":"We just moved in to our neighborhood and our neighbors across from us have young child (around 4 years old). Every morning before the dad goes off to work he honks and horn and the little kid yells “BYE”. This happens anywhere from 7:45-8:30 every morning before work. This wakes myself and my fiancée up every single morning as our bedroom window faces their house that’s only 200 ft away from our ears. We roll our eyes and groan and then fall back asleep.\n\nMy fiancée and I had a discussion about this and while we think it’s adorable in theory it’s still super annoying. AITA if I politely confronted them or left them an anonymous letter? \n\nTLDR; neighbors honk horn early in the morning to say bye to their kid, AITA for being annoyed? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't know that your neighbors are intentionally being A's either, it seems like they're trying to be cute and might just be unaware of the volume. But because I personally don't think you should be proactively making any outside noise at all prior to like 9 AM, I've opted to go with NTA. Someone in my old neighborhood tried to fire up a weed-wacker at 7 AM one day, and I'm not going to say I screamed out the window for them to stfu, but I'm not going to say I *didn't* either.....\n\nIf you give them a heads up politely and tactfully (moreso than what I did) you would not be an A and you're not the A for being annoyed by it. If they opt to continue doing it though for their kid's sake, you might just want to invest in ear plugs rather than die on this hill. Good luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nI am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.\n\nMy mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.\nMy mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.\n\nMaybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.\n\nMy mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: \"You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her.\"\n\nMy dad doesn't know about this.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I don't imagine you have much spare income as a part time waitress. Your sister has two parents and lives with her boyfriend. It's not reasonable to expect you to give her money. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.\n\nI recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful. \n\nToday I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home. \n\nHe made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######","completion":" NTA. I don't even have words for what a ridiculous child your husband is acting like. Throwing a fit over a rainbow t shirt is both controlling and homophobic. He does indeed have a problem with gay people if the thought of anyone mistaking you for one throws him into a tizzy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the last couple weeks, I’ve seen chalk drawings pop up on the sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that and some of the “art” is encouraging like little “obstical courses”. \n\nHowever. This afternoon I came outside to see someone drew a huge cross in chalk on my driveway along with #HeIsRisen and Happy Easter. I took out my hose and washed the away the chalk drawing and then took my dog for a walk. \n\nWhen I came back, as I was walking up my driveway, one of my neighbours came out and said “excuse me, is there a reason you ruined my daughters drawing?” I clarified wether or not she was talking about the chalk drawing on my driveway and she said yes and that she daughter spent almost an hour on the drawing and was just trying to spread positivity and celebrate Jesus. \n\nI said that I was sorry that I upset her daughter but that it was my driveway and I didn’t agree to have someone draw on it especially when it was a religious holiday I Don’t celebrate (I’m Jewish but don’t consider myself religious). \n\nShe then went off an started calling me things like “anti religious, a miserable asshole and a horrible person.” I tried to tell her to calm down and stop verbally assaulting me. She then told me that I will regret washing away her daughters picture, flipped me off and walked away.”\n\nwas I the asshole here for washing away the chalk?\n\nEdit: just found out she has two daughters 13-15 so neither of them are “little” girls. ######","completion":" NTA. I don't care if it was a treasure map to a pot of gold, respect the property lines. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said \"oh! Just like me but with penis.\" we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.\n\nAnd during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that \" OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type\". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these \"you're my type\" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.\n\nI told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because \"she can't even joke around anymore\" and ended the chat.\nWe never speak about it again.\n\nI talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I do think your sisters are missing the point. They seem focused on whether you SHOULD have felt uncomfortable....when what matters is that you did, and Sara didn't respect that feeling. All she needed to say was \"Oh sorry, just meant it as a joke, I'll stop\". \n\nAt least it sounds like she has stopped. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now.  This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet. \n\nWe only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic. \n\nHe does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.\n\nA few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.\n\nToday he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.\n\nNow i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop\/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.\n\nWIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?\n\nEdit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.\n\nAlso we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ######","completion":" NTA. I deal with a very similar situation where I work. A disabled girl regularly comes into our store to hang out\/occasionally buy something. She's nice enough and isn't really disruptive so we don't mind when she comes in. \n\nHowever when she uses our bathroom it ends up exactly the way you describe. So now we're at the point where whenever she comes in, someone immediately runs and puts an \"out of order\" sign up on the door with a cone in front of it so she doesn't try to go in. \n\nIt's worked well and we haven't had an incident with her for a long time. Maybe something like that would work for you if possible? ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, on Sunday my dad celebrated his birthday with some friends at dinner, and my mum was there as well. She English and we live overseas, where I was raised and my dad was born. Let's say the country is Spain and the language is Spanish. We only ever speak English at home and she's only ever spoken English at work. She sort of speaks Spanish but not very well, and she's got dyslexia which make language acquisition difficult for her. Everyone at the table spoke fluent English anyway, so it shouldn't have been an issue. \n\nAt some point late in the evening, my mum was chatting to my dad's friend, and out of nowhere said friend says 'If I were you I'd be ashamed and embarrassed of myself for not speaking Spanish'. My mum was visibly uncomfortable but didn't say anything. The friend went on to begin saying something about how many years my mum has lived in Spain, but I got annoyed and interrupted her. I told her that my mother had nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed of, that she's hard working and has been busy supporting her family and raising me, so she really hasn't had time do something which she already finds very difficult (my mum is not secretive about her dyslexia at all, so I knew this was something which I would not be crossing any boundaries by saying). \n\nI feel like I sort of killed the vibe. My mum was visibly relieved (and I know confrontation makes her nervous, so I really did feel the need to step in and ensure she wasn't in an uncomfortable position). My dad's friend apologised and everything, but I just have thing nagging feeling, like I did something I wasn't meant to. I didn't call my dad's friend any names of raise my voice; my tone was quite pointed, of course, but hardly unkind - probably more assertive than anything else. \n\nThis has been bugging me, so I really do want to know what you all think. Guys\/gals\/pals - am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. I could go into why but seems pretty clear cut. ######"}
{"prompt":"My hubs (50M) and I (42F) purchased our first home a few months ago. I do the grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, mopping, sweeping, and bathroom counters. He does the vacuuming (when he remembers), the showers (maybe every 4 weeks), and the toilets (every week). I frequently have to remind him to get his chores done and there are small projects around the house that still aren't done. \n\nWe got a battery powered lawnmower which I have never used. A few weeks ago, I asked him to teach me how to start the lawnmower in case I need to know how it use it to cut grass. This last Monday, I had the Memorial Day holiday off and we lounged about and had a great day. I work full time from home and am taking an intense master's degree program and loved having a day away from work and my textbooks.\n\nAbout 6pm, he says he's going outside to do some work. I brew myself a pot of tea, grab my Kindle, and snuggle in with my dog on the sofa to read. Ten minutes into this, he come into the room and says \"Hey, I'm going to cut grass, come out.\" I replied \"I'm good. I'll come out next time.\" He says, \"Just come out.\" I said back \"I'm settled in and comfy, I'll go out next time.\"\n\nHe says fine and then leaves the room. He turns around, storms in the room, and says \"Get the fuck up and stop being lazy and childish!\" We had an argument that no one talks to me like that. And that he's been lazy and childish as well and that I don't talk to him in that way. Things were settled and life moved on. However, in the last 4 days, Hubs has done SO much around the house. Chores, small projects, things that have been waiting for him to do since we moved in. I know this is out of guilt because he called me lazy and I called him on it. \n\nShould I let this go? WIBTA to bring it up? I am still hurt that he lashed out at me and called me lazy when I do most of the chores and have to remind him constantly to do his. ######","completion":" NTA. I can’t believe he had the audacity to say that to you considering how hard you work. He probably is feeling guilty, and rightfully so! I think if you approach it calmly, it’s probably good to talk with him to figure out where that outburst came from. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.\n\nMy sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.\n\nDue to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy. \n\nWhen she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth. \n\nShe insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up. \n\nNow I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate. \n\nSo, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. I can't imagine my reaction if someone told me they 'expected' me to be their surrogate. WTF. \n\nAlso just FYI--people who haven't given birth aren't usually allowed to be surrogates. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.\n\nTLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?\n\n(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######","completion":" NTA. I can't believe you even made cake for your sister. She doesn't deserve it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have had arguments about how much time I spend on my phone instead of paying attention to him or the thing we’re doing together. I get that. I’ve worked on it. Today, my boyfriend sat me down and said that I’m spending too much time talking on the phone with my mom and sister about stuff that doesn’t matter when we’re walking tv or doing things together. \n\nMy family is notorious for their long-winded conversations, but I try to keep conversations down to about 15-30 mins. I get how that can be annoying but I live with him! We aren’t working right now and are glued at the hip from the moment we wake up. All we do is hang out!! Surely I couldn’t be in the wrong for spending 2% of my day talking to my FAMILY!!!\n\nSo tell me, am I the asshole for giving my family a little attention when we’re hanging out? ######","completion":" NTA. I came from a family similar to this and it is seriously the best way to bond. I felt like true, while it could be annoying that you spent a ton of your time looking at the phone while spending the time with him, but in this situation, you were talking to your family. \n\nEven when you're talking nonsense to each other I felt like your boyfriend should have been more understanding. Serious boundary talk should actually happen between the both of you as if it were me; I'd be furious at him for saying such nonsense. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan\/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. I am surprised you have not cut contact for this. ######"}
{"prompt":"For background we have been together for 4 years. Largely very good except for this one issue. \n\nThis has been an issue for literally a year. My boyfriends breath sucks.\n\nI first brought it up lightly this time last year. He said he would brush better. Nothing. Two months later I bring it up and asks if he brushes his tongue. He said he would start. No progress. Three months later I said its really starting to turn me off and it was fine for a few days then came back. This went on until now. \n\nLast week I brought it up and he said that there was nothing he could do because he brushes twice a day and maybe its all in my head because no one else tells him? (Wtf) But all his friends live out of town so he only games with them online, and he's not that close with his coworkers so obviously they wouldn't say anything. \n\nIt's really affecting our relationship because we sleep in the same bed and he falls asleep first and breathes all over me at night. How can someone sleep with all that all over them? So I sleep in another room and he gets a bit upset in the morning.\n\nI feel like he doesn't respect how much this is affecting me. I don't want to wince literally every time I see him. Why doesn't he care?\n\nI am going to get him to go to the doctor to check for tonsil stones or SOMETHING. WIBTA if I told him I was going to do this? I'm about to break up a fantastic relationship over this issue, it's been so long. ######","completion":" NTA. I am surprised that for his own life and interactions he doesn't want to improve this, but what really sent me over is the fact that he ignores your concerns about it and then gets mad when you sleep elsewhere. If he doesn't want to take care of it, fine, but he can't expect you to bathe in it. ######"}
{"prompt":"TLDR: Just had a miscarriage. Partner left me the morning after to go mushroom picking. Said it was my fault that I hadn’t asked him to stay. Now, he wants to go with me for the follow-up clinical visit. AITA for not wanting him to be involved in the follow-up visits.\n\n\nI just had a miscarriage.  \n\nThankfully I am medically fine based on my clinical visits. I have one follow-up visit to ensure that there are no complications. My partner was there during the 1st visit that’s when I found out that it was a miscarriage. There were associated pains physically on the day it happened and I honestly thought it was just post-workout pain because I have been playing badminton the day before. All in all it was a shocking and tiring day physically and mentally and I was glad he was there all throughout. \n\nWhat I couldn’t wrap my head around was that the very next morning he told me that he wants to go mushroom picking with people from his work because he said “ it could be fun”. He left me, to go do that and when I told him I would have appreciated if he was there because he was texting me while he was out. He told me, I should have asked for it. Followed by a text, “Btw, I would like to hangout with you tonight though”.\n\nIt was just illuminating moment for me how his actions made me realize that I couldn’t be with someone who would go mushroom picking the morning after I had a miscarriage. I left his place. He called me 3 times and texted me that he wants to be there during the last follow up visit “because it would mean a lot to him”. But I don’t want him involved anymore.\n\nAITA for not wanting to involve him for the visit (and possible in my life) because it was overwhelming with the miscarriage and I don’t want to deal with the fact that he choose me over mushrooms and that he implied that it was my fault because I didn’t ask for him to stay. \n\n(If what he wants is peace of mind that the miscarriage has no complications, he could go ask the mushrooms.) ######","completion":" NTA. I am so sorry for your loss. \n\n My husband (then boyfriend) was an over the road truck driver when I had our first (of three) miscarriages. He was in Tennessee when I called him to tell him I was losing our baby and he literally called his work and got himself loads to reroute himself home to MN to be with me. He pushed his clock to the limit every single day to be there for me. He apologized for not being home sooner the minute he got through the door. THAT is how a partner behaves. \n\nThrow out the whole man and find someone worth the emotional investment and worth having a child with. He is not a loving partner at all and you deserve so much better. ######"}
{"prompt":"My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her. \n\nMy cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook. \n\nAm I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######","completion":" NTA. I always add a link to a fact checking website when I comment. Fake News is a plague on society. ######"}
{"prompt":"Myself (F, 25) and my husband (M, 29) have been discussing having children and I’ve recently gone off of birth control to start trying. I had a very traumatic childhood and do not want that for my children. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandfather has since died but my grandmother is still alive. I reconnected with my mother over the last 10 years and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. My mother is currently living with my grandmother. \n\n My whole side of the family is very religious. Jehovah’s witnesses. They have decided to shun me ever since I left their religion. My brother left before me and they shun him as well. My mother seems to think once we do have a child things will be different and they will want my child in their lives, especially my grandmother. I told her that I have no intention of letting my child have a relationship with any of the family members who are shunning me. She seemed surprised and I think it upset her that I said that. \n\n I don’t want to teach my children that what my family is doing is okay. I don’t want to expose them to that religion and have them force fed information. I know if they have a relationship with my grandmother she will not respect any boundaries I put in place in regards to religion. I don’t know if my viewpoint is healthy or if I would be harming my children by not allowing them to have a relationship with my side of the family (other than my mother and brother). So WIBTA if I keep my future children away from their maternal side of the family because of how they treat me? ######","completion":" NTA. I also escaped an oppressive religion. What you're establishing are healthy boundaries, which makes you the total opposite of an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the \"good\" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that \"someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper\" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff. \n\nHer calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass. \n\nAt that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person. \n\nNow I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?  \n\nAlso sorry for the long post. ######","completion":" NTA. I absolutely cannot believe the amount of posts where grown adults are expressly told not to do something and they do it anyway. You did nothing wrong by defending your wife when your mother physically threatened her! She brought this upon herself, OP. You’re trying to raise your daughter the way you see fit, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway since this is stupid petty. \n\nMy roommate and I are both vegetarians. She regularly shames people for what they eat, including meat and any carbs. I have bad anxiety\/depression which often leads to no appetite (she knows this) and regularly all I can eat is cereal or pasta, which she always comments on so she’s been getting on my nerves a lot. I also don’t like her because I always catch her in dumb lies so I guess you can say we have a lot of beef. ...\n\nYesterday she had a stressful day due to an online exam so she went out and got a chicken sandwich from a popular fast food place. She sent me a picture from her car with the caption “cheat day” showing the half eaten sandwich. Sometimes I have cheat days myself so I don’t judge her for that at all. \n\nYesterday we were on a zoom call with some mutual friends and vegetarianism came up. My roommate kept joking around calling everyone murderers like she often does. One person said he’d thought about going veg but didn’t know if they could give up meat. My roommate assured him that it had been hard at first but if you stuck for it as long as she did you stopped craving it altogether. \n\nI pointed out that she’d sent me a picture of a half eaten chicken sandwich the day before. No one really judged her or said anything but the guy she’d been talking to about it laughed and the conversation moved on shortly. \n\nMy roommate is mad because she says I really embarrassed her. I told her she needed to stop judging people for what they eat and asked why she felt the need to lie. She said her diet is not anyone else’s business but I think she made it their business by lying openly. She isn’t talking to me now.\n\n-\n\nTLDR: I called out my veg roommate for lying about eating meat after she regularly shames other people for their dietary choices ######","completion":" NTA. Hypocrite much? She shouldn't have cheat days if she wants to call everyone a murderer. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. However, if this uncontrollable hunger is a new thing she might need to see a doctor. As someone previously stated on this thread it could be she has nutrition deficiencies. \n\nIt could also be, hypothyroidism or a similar hormonal condition. Lastly it could be a mental health disorder. ######"}
{"prompt":"My uncle is a doctor, and makes good money. My Dad told him I needed money for school and asked for 1,000 bucks. He even had me thank him for the money and told everyone how my uncle helped him pay for school.\nTurns out it was all a sham, my Dad used that money for drugs. My Mom showed me solid evidence of that, and I am horrified. I knew my Dad was an addict, but it didn’t occur to me that he was ripping off my uncle.\n\nSo WIBTA if I told my uncle what happened? Knowing him he probably wouldn’t sweat the 1,000, but I feel really guilty holding onto the knowledge. It might stir up shit between my uncle and my Dad, but I think he deserves to know. ######","completion":" NTA. However, I would recommend that in addition to telling your uncle about the fact that your dad lied, you also reach out to him to ask him for help. This obviously isn’t just about the $1000. Perhaps your uncle is in a better position to intervene and work to get your dad in a better place and deal with his addiction. It’s also important that you are able to stay safe. I wouldn’t want your dad to take this negatively and take it out on you for “humiliating” him. So you should talk to your uncle, but do it holistically and let him know that you also don’t want to get in trouble\/make things worse. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a student and filed taxes for the first time this year. I pay all of my schooling (housing, tuition, and fees) myself with help from fed funding because my mom does not help me at all. I pay for all of my food, car expenses (gas, oil changes, registration), wifi, personal hygiene products, medications, health and dental insurance, etc. The only thing that my mom pays for me is my car insurance. Compared to all of my friends, I take on much more financial responsibility. According to the IRS, if your parent does not pay for more than half of your support for the year then they cannot file you as a dependent. My mom continuously starts arguments claiming that “I caused her to owe money to the government instead of getting money from the government,” because I claimed myself as an independent. Reddit, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. However,  if you can start paying for you car insurance. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is very awkward and I’m not sure who to ask so I decided to post on here. \n\nMy boyfriend proposed last year around Christmas, and of course I immediately said yes and together we have been very excitedly planning our wedding. We were due for September this year but have obviously put everything on halt. \n\nOne of my friends, Abigail, is a singer. She has a very gospel-ly kinda voice but as awful as it sounds all I think when she sings is ‘this is warbly’ and I have to fight to keep a straight face. She’s not awful, but it’s really not my cup of tea. \n\nObviously I would never say that to her but I do encourage her passion because one day she wants to turn her hobby into a career. I always respond in the group chat with constructive feedback when she sends us voice clips asking for it and if it’s very bad I’ll just stay quiet and not say anything at all. \n\nNow recently in January a little known music producer (I think) retweeted a video of her singing and she has taken this as her sign that she is about to break it big. \n\nShe asked why I hadn’t asked her to sing in our wedding, and I answered honestly that I want her there in a friend capacity, not there to work. She then said she insisted on ‘gifting’ us the song to our first dance. \n\nI really, *really* don’t want her to do this so I told her I would need to square it with my fiancé as we are making all decisions together. Thankfully he was on board with me and I texted her ASAP to say that fiancé wasn’t keen on the idea because he *really* wants x band to play instead. \n\nShe became upset in our chat group and quite a few of my friends are texting me telling me I should give her the platform and that I’m being a bad friend and an asshole, and that I’m being selfish. ######","completion":" NTA. How selfish of her to insist on such a thing. It’s not as much of a gift as a way to showcase herself in front of all *your* friends and family on what’s supposed to be one of the most special days of *your* life. It’s your wedding, it’s your choice on what goes down. Even if it’s a gift, it’s not a gift you want presented at your wedding and she should outright be respectful of that request. Very much NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \n\nAs many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.\n\nWell this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart. \n\nThe group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries. \n\nI went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and\/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. How much has walmart done for the community members working for them? Kinda sounds like the group you volunteer is putting blinders on. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with shopping at a store for a single day while workers fight to get a living wage. I’d be willing to bet some of those families you deliver to have members that work at those companies that have protests ######"}
{"prompt":"Extended family is split on this.  We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground).  It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim.  I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool.  Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious?  You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?”  So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. How is this something your family can be angry about? You have every reason to keep people as far away from your home as possible right now. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.\n\nOne of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.\n\nI said that sucked.\n\nThis one girl Talia spoke up and said\n\n“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”\n\nSo people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office. \n\nTalia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.\n\nTo be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.\n\nTalia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60. \n\nOne of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.\n\nA different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######","completion":" NTA. How is it she lost the money and it’s *your* fault? Does not compute. \n\nHome girl was holding on to her grudge for 3 years to have her moment. 🤨 ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.\n\nI coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.\n\nI did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says. \n\nThis was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.\n\nBut AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######","completion":" NTA. How do the kids know you're last name isn't Lexy?   \n\n\nOr how do the kids know the other teachers first name?  \n\n\nIf teachers want to keep a professional environment (clearly like the other teacher does) surely they shouldn't tell the kids their first name to begin with? ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI have a pretty old but reliable Lenovo laptop that is worth 300$,maybe less.(I got the laptop as a  birthday gift from a family friend) \n\nMy father decided to build a new computer for the family to use,which he spent 1250$ on,a computer that is used 99% by my brother,because he plays Fortnite and Roblox and he doesnt want to play those games on his phone.\n\nToday,my mother had some work to do on the PC and my brother was angry that he couldn't stream idk what game.(that he also had on his phone ). \n\nHe of course started whining and mom told me to get  off my laptop to let him do what he wanted to.\n\nI of course refused. He smashed my laptop's  screen to its keyboard multiple times. My mother also did that when I was playing and she almost broke my fingers since they got cought betwwen the screen and the keyboard. \n\nShe called me an ungrateful brat and took away my laptop. \n\nSo,Reddit,am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. How could anyone blame you for not wanting your computer damaged or disrespected? Stand your ground, OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things it symbolizes, but I personally find it gaudy and impractical to wear because of its size. \n\nI didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wearing something so expensive and important every day, aside from the fact that I don’t really like how it looks. But at the same time I felt like it’s kind of wrong not to wear an engagement ring when I’m engaged, like how it feels kind of wrong when a married guy doesn’t wear his wedding ring on a regular basis. So I asked my fiancé if he could get me another ring, a simpler one. I told him that he doesn’t need to follow the three months salary ‘rule’ or anything like that. All I would like is a ring with a small solitaire stone that I can wear everyday as a symbol of our engagement. \n\nMy fiancé seemed disappointed at my request and said that I should try to wear the ring for a few weeks first because it might grow on me. When I told him that I’m worried about the risk that I would lose it someway, he said that if I take care of it, I won’t lose it. I don’t agree with the things he said and I think it’s not fair that I’m expected to just endure my discomfort about my own engagement ring for the sake of pleasing people who are not the ones who have to wear the ring. At this point I kind of just want to buy myself an ‘everyday’ ring that I can wear as a symbol of my engagement. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. How are they going to respond if you did lose the ring? How would the family respond? This just seems like avoiding the shit sandwich before it's even served up. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 35F wife 37F has a cavity she’s needed fixed since January, but didn’t want to do it as she is afraid of dentists. Me too, so I totally get it. Since then, though, it’s gotten a lot worse.\n\nNow she won’t go because she’s afraid of the coronavirus. Normally I would shrug off not wanting to go right now as overkill but if that’s what she wants, that’s fine. Crowns are expensive but that’s her choice and I’d rather pay for the crown than make her unhappy.\n\nThe problem is, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep next to her. Riding in the car is difficult. Our daughter noticed too. When I bring up the fact that her breath is bad, she gets enraged. I’ve brought it up twice in the last two months, but now I don’t want to anymore. She just starts insulting me and making me feel like an asshole for saying anything.\n\nThree times I’ve asked “can you please make a dentist appointment?” In exactly those words, and each time she becomes furious. I’ve been to the dentist myself. Waiting another 8 or 9 months for her to go though is going to be very hard on me.\n\nAlso I’m sure at some point this will effect her job. Nobody wants to work around someone whose breath smells like rotting teeth.\n\nI sympathize with her not wanting to go to the dentist, but but I don’t feel like she needs to me mean to me about it. AITA for asking my wife to fix her tooth and her very bad breath? ######","completion":" NTA. How about you go along with your wife to the dentist as moral support? And in the time maybe invest in a good mouth wash. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband)is a rehabilitated meth abuser. It seems like my sister in law will be moving back in with him and my MIL would like us to start planning the upcoming post-pandemic holidays. \n\nI’m considering putting down a firm, “Absolutely not.” My daughter is 1 and I just don’t trust him. \n\nHe was caught with meth in his golf bag a year ago and begrudgingly went to rehab. He has been clean for about six months. Before this he was just a general jerk. He was exhausting to be around. He would make a scene about anything to get attention. IE: How his drink was prepared, how much crab was in his crab cake, etc. His racism became such a norm that I felt myself becoming desensitized. IE: “I’ve never met a met a Maria who wasn’t a maid”. His range of obnoxious and immature behavior had a wide scope and could go on for paragraphs. \n\nWe never bonded before drugs came into the picture. He would take cheap shots and come up with odd blatant lies when my wife and I would make any effort to bond with him over the last 12 years. For example, I told him about some things from infantry training and he interrupted me to go on about a time he went skiing from a helicopter. That story he interrupted me to tell had never happened. He has this odd habit of being shitty and\/or lying in public but then apologizing\/confessing in private when he gets you alone. \n\nIn short, I didn’t want this immature jerk around my daughter before I found out he was a drug abuser.  Now I’m drawing a strict rule but it will have an adverse effect on my In laws who understandably want the entire family together.\n\nAITA and being too harsh or do I have a leg to stand on? I would also appreciate hearing from rehabilitated people who were on the receiving end of being cut out by family members. ######","completion":" NTA. Hopefully your holiday plans are at your parents house this year and not your in-laws. I’d recommend seeing them a few times outside of the holidays to get an idea where he’s at as a person now and if you’re still seeing the flags, just save yourself the headache. I do recommend not disclosing why you’re choosing not going this year because honestly that drama ain’t worth it. Keep your cards close to your chest. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 21, I was with a computer technician (23), he fixed people’s laptops for a big chain tech store. We had ongoing issues with the kind of things he thought were appropriate, that made me uncomfortable- ie. going through WOMENS photos and files looking for dirty pics.\nOne day 2 teenage girls entered the store with a macbook for repair. \nThe sisters were 15 and 17 years old. \nApparently, the 17 year old was hot. So my ex and an employee in his 40’s, used the girls laptop repair information to find her social media profiles and then sent the link around to employees who weren’t working that day, and friends who didn’t work there.\nMy sister was the one who contacted the store, as she was older than me (27) and was disgusted and angry at the predatory behaviour going on in store. He got sacked and told everyone I got him fired cos I was a psycho.. I lost a lot of friends. ######","completion":" NTA. Honestly,  I would block him from absolutely every part of my life if I were you. It is predatory behavior, invasion of privacy, and absolutely violating these women by going through personal items without consent. He needs more than just getting sacked. And you deserve better. ######"}
{"prompt":"My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.\n\n\nMy mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish. \n\n\nI fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.\n\nSo reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######","completion":" NTA. Honestly I’d report her for the animals she currently illegally has as well but that’s just me. I definitely would not give her a puppy. If you want to avoid arguments just say you’re selling for more than $80 and you don’t think she can afford the actual price. Or maybe say all puppies are accounted for and have good homes already?\n\nI have a chi\/jack Russell mix and a lot of people in my family have chis and they’re a very needy breed from what I’ve seen. I can’t imagine a chi doing well in what is basically a large a pack of dogs fighting for food and not getting enough attention. ######"}
{"prompt":"In my group of friends there's one guy who is your stereotypical nice guy, even comes with his own fedora. He's asked at every girl in our group then goes with \"it's just a friend date\" when they inevitably said no. I mostly ignore it all, but he ended up asking my GF out, when she said no he said he just wanted to hang out as friend and when she invited me he suddenly wasn't interested.\n\nWe've all been hanging out in a video chat lately and his cringeniess is becoming more and more apparent. I try to ignore it all but it just makes things awkward for everyone as he competes far too much with other guys when they're just talking to the girls. At one point we were all drinking and playing a game and my GF was being terrible at it so I was poking fun at her and ribbing her. He chimes in with \"I think you should apologise to her, that was uncalled for\" so she said \"Dude, I don't need you to whiteknight me\" which made him go quiet and then leave the chat.\n\nHe's been hitting on one new girl and it's made her uncomfortable, or so says my GF, and he's just not getting the message. We were all drinking tonight and he was jsut being super awkward so I just blurted out \"She's not gonna fuck you bro, move on\". he got quiet, left and then left all the chats.\n\nSome people are saying I should apologise and that I was bullying him. ######","completion":" NTA. Honestly I wish more guys would call their less savvy brethren out like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.\n\nThe woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too \"slutty\" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.\n\nAs far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems. \n\nThen, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.\n\nThe husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.\n\nI said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.\n\nBut then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.\n\nI said \"Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.\n\nShe said no right away.\n\nI then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said \"Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?\"\n\nShe cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.\n\nAITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######","completion":" NTA. Honestly I think it's good that you put her in her place.  If she wasn't being respectful or receptive, then that's on her.  Doing it in front of her family is probably the only way she would've listened ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German. \n\nTo me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him. \n\nI understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him. \n\nIt came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling \"English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine.\" I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's \"side\" and conversing in German with her? ######","completion":" NTA. Holy shit. She is 98 and has memory issues. He is 1000% the asshole. If he is insisting on English when she is having an episode and doesn’t remember English well, then he is intentionally excluding her from conversation whereas she has no control over it ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm furloughed today and my mom is visiting, so I kept our 11 month old home from daycare. My husband is unemployed, but studying for a test. He said not to expect help with the kid since he is studying. I said ok and was watching the baby while waiting for his grandmother to come over. My mom asked me to look at some old videos of me, so I had them playing. The kid was being loud. Suddenly, my husband comes out of the office and asks \"how would you feel if the daycare workers watched videos while they're supposed to be caring for our son?\"\n\nI got angry and defensive. I told him if he was removing himself from watching the kid, he can't complain how I'm doing it. Plus, it's insulting to suggest I'm not caring for my son \"good enough\". Kids make noise and I'm not going to punish him for being a kid. I also pointed out it's insulting to daycare workers to suggest anyone can do their job.\n\nSo am I being a bad mother and getting mad at him for pointing it out or are his expectations out of line? ######","completion":" NTA. Holy shit I'd be pissed too. Is that out of character for him? ######"}
{"prompt":"A long story pretty short, my dad gave my mother a necklace with a pink diamond in it when they got married, which he got from a housewife he worked as a butler for years before that. She gave the necklace to me when I got married but the clasp was broken so I couldn't wear it.\n\nI was planning to give it to my daughter but after having four boys my husband and I have let that go and I thought it would be nice to give it to my niece for her next birthday. I asked her to make sure she even wanted it since she's not much of a jewelry person but she was surprisingly excited for it and we sent it in to get fixed.\n\nThere was an unnecessary fight between my niece and my sister about her current boyfriend which resulted in her cutting my sister off. Since I was behind my sister (but definitely not involved) I was also unfortunately cut off and somehow got most of the name calling.\n\nNow I'd completely forgotten about the necklace until this morning when the jeweler called and said my niece was there to collect the necklace and wanted to make sure it was okay. I thought about it and decided to rather hold off giving it to her since she cut us off and I'd never actually worn it before. I told him I didn't send her and that I'll collect it tomorrow. Am I an asshole for doing this? ######","completion":" Nta. Hold on to it. You might have granddaughters ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.\n\nFor a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.\n\nWe currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.\n\nShe says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.\n\nAMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?\n\nEdit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######","completion":" NTA. Hol up. Internet stranger man wants to move in with you and your girlfriend who might not be able to get away from him if she needed to? There are lots of ways to help people that don’t include letting them live with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so a bit of background. Im 19F and my mom is 45. She has 3 children including myself who all have some sort of disability or mental illness. Me and my sister have severe anxiety and depression and my other sister has severe ADHD and type 1 diabetes. My mom nearly died bringing my baby sister into the world as well as my other sister. My mom and dad's marriage is extremely toxic and they really need a divorce and have needed one since I was old enough to realize what was going on. My dad has always had sexist notions to the NEED for a son. We don't matter because we don't have a penis which has made us resent him among other shitty things he has done. \n\nOn to the story that brought all this shit up. I was in my parent's bathroom cause the one used by us \"Kids\" was just moped. I heard a rustling under the sink and thought \"Oh god please do not be rats\" and went to check. I was met with a face full of pregnancy tests. My sisters and I have expressed to our parents on multiple occasions that they SHOULD NOT have another baby. Its dangerous to my mom, shes lost babies in the past, and we all have some form of issue either from a genetic cause or from my asshole father. I do not want my mother to die nor do I want another kid going through the same damn shit we go through every day. They can't even give enough attention to the kids they have now much less another baby. I feel so betrayed because we told them over and over that this wasn't a good idea as well as their own damn doctor said it was dangerous. But by the evidence mom is still trying to get pregnant. I feel like I am never enough for them. That my sisters are never enough. It feels so awful then paired with her risks and their toxic relationship, Im so lost and hurt and scared. I haven't told my mom what I found or what I think but I did talk to a few friends discreetly and they say Im being selfish. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. History of significant hereditary illnesses, toxic family atmosphere, the current global health and environmental situation and her age (after 40 chances of congenital defects and complications rise significantly) are the perfect storm of why NOT to have children. She sounds selfish and not very responsible or smart. Unfortunately besides talking to her there’s not much you can do to stop her. Your friends are wrong to say you are selfish, it’s your mom who’s being selfish attempting to bring a new life into a screwed up world and home life. I’m sorry this is so hard on you. If you’re in school there should be counselors provided by the school, and most will teleconference. See if you can talk to one to help you manage your feelings around this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left. \n\nSome side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. His utter lack of respect for and understanding of the concept that things can belong to people other than him has nothing to do with you. \n\nGreat example he set for his kids too ######"}
{"prompt":"I've always used birth control as a form of menstruation regulation. Without the pill I can be randomly heavy and have terrible cramps and back pain etc. \nWell my husband wants kids (I'd be fine either way) and so I've gone off the pill. \nRecently I had an unexpectedly heavy flow overnight and woke up to a mess on the sheets. I was in pain and feeling horrible in general so it took me about an hour to have the energy to get up and do the laundry. My husband called me disgusting for waiting an hour (he was not in bed, just saw the sheets on the floor). I'm extremely insulted and frankly it's at his request I've gone off the pill. \nHe's refusing to apologize and saying I'm just angry because I'm on my period, which just makes me more angry. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. His response to you feeling sick and having a horrible period is to call you disgusting for not hopping up and cleaning right away? Does he have the slightest clue what happens after you have a baby? Because that whole thing is a literal shitshow. \n\nGirl, go back on the pill. This man is not ready for the messy side of life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My nephew is staying with me for the summer.  My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.  \nMy nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m.  Told him smarten up and go to bed.  Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on.  His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it.  I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable. \nWell I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people.  There were several inappropriate interactions.   The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone. \nNow my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone.  Saying I had no right to go threw it.  \nAITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ######","completion":" NTA. His dad gave you permission and you’re the guardian this summer. You do what you think is right, you’re doing a good job so far. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######","completion":" NTA. His cheating affected more than just your mother and you have your right to your feelings. I’m sorry that you are in this situation ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy husband recently lost his job,  I’ve picked up more hours and am exhausted.\n\nI’m  meant to work from 6;30am - 4;40pm, I get up at 5;10am and the hour I’m back home depends on how long it took me to travel that day and how far away from home I am, for the past week I’ve been home at a reasonable time.\n\nWhen I get home I cook dinner, do the washing up, wash and iron clothes, put the clothes away and after all that all I want to do is sleep.\n\nI’ve asked my husband time after time to   put the children’s toys away, not let them take certain toys outside, not letting them bring all their blankets downstairs.\n\nI once asked him to clean the house and I came home to find all the dirt he swept up in the corner of the room.\n\nSo I think what I ask of him is pretty easy? I came home and slipped on a toy car, one of the electric ones that I told him should stay in their room since it scares the kitten.\n\nAs an apology he cooked dinner and he’s pretty great at that but my back is messed up, my husband tends to kick in his sleep too.\n\nI told him to sleep on the sofa or sleep on the floor, I don’t really care.\n\n\nNow he’s moody and thinks I’m the AH because he got busy and I should be more understanding, especially since\nI was home early (one of our clients cancelled) our children are 3 and 4 so I get he’s busy especially since our eldest has behavioural problems but It’s one simple thing surely? \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Him kicking in his sleep will mess up your back even more, you need to rest x ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this I 100% recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that my parents provide me and am in no way diminishing what they have given me so let’s please avoid the privelege comments and such\n\nMy parents typically take us on a big vacation(big as in long and far away, about 2-3 weeks and across the ocean) this upcoming year-summer of 2021- i am graduating from high school so my parents told me I could “plan” the trip in the sense that I can pick the destinations and activities that we do. My sister graduated from grade 8 this year and got a gift or two from my parents (gifts far above what grade eight graduation gifts would typically be imo) My sister and I typically have very different ideas of what a fun vacation is; she’s more of a relax on the beach at a resort type and I prefer outdoor adventure in a more temperate environment with activités like hiking. When my parents and I were talking about destinations for the trip my sister came in and started complaining about the destinations and asked why I could pick where we were going. Once my mom explained it to her she complained about how she just graduated from grade eight and didn’t get to do anything like that. The complaining frustrated me in part because it’s just annoying and also because she got a great gift for graduating grade eight (something in my country every kid does since it is literally impossible to fail) so I told her that graduating from grade eight means a lot less and is less important then graduating high school. I regret saying it and am not sure if it was too harsh but my parents Definetely think so and are telling me I have to apologize, which I plan on doing. AITA ######","completion":" NTA. High school graduation is so much more important. It signals you moving on to the next chapter in your life. 8th grade graduation is literally very little change in her life. Wow she will go to a different school with more people now. Big deal. You are moving away (possibly) to college, this is a huge step in your life. I wouldn’t apologize. Your sister really needs to grow up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 21 F and have been friends with a guy 19 M for a few months. We've been talking for a while and I've opened up to him about a lot of things. We've talked about dating too. He'd never had a gf and he talked about how he struggles with it and I talk about how I struggle with finding someone decent (I had a bf when I was 15 who was emotionally abusive).\n\nSo I've been trying to make friends online as well but there are a lot of guys who will send creepy messages even if I've never talked to them or only specified that I'm looking for platonic relationship. I sometimes laugh it off but people can be cruel online. \n\nI sent some of the screenshots to two of my friends (him included) and he says\n\"most guys just want you for sex, don't they?' \nI tell him it's what a lot of women online experience and he says \"no it's just you\"\nI asked him what he meant (as I've never had sex and he knows that) but he had a very condescending sort of attitude towards me. So I told him that.\n\nI've sort of let it go as he never admits when he's wrong but it's getting to me. Would I be an asshole if I ask him to apologise for it? ######","completion":" NTA. Hes a victim blaming g, misogynistic creep. If that's how he feels you may want to avoid being friends with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we had a cat appear around our house eating the food we put out for the jack rabbits and magpies. I noticed her and put a little extra out and over the course of four or five days, I realized that she was eating all the food as fast as possible. After a week, she let me get near and feed her all she could eat which was a truly shocking amount of food. I suspected she was young and pregnant. Got her into the house that night. Took photos and posted Found Cat ads. \n\nTook her to the Vet next morning to check for a microchip. Cat has no ID, and no one has reported a lost cat matching her description. Vet checked her over and cat was very young, pregnant and starving. The outcome for her the kittens was grim. The Vet didn't expect her to survive the birthing process, and kittens had been starved since she became pregnant, if they survived labour they would most likely starve because the cat was too thin to produce milk. \n\nI was offered a variety of solutions to deal with the cat including trying to find an open shelter to take her; abandoning her; hope her owners appear before labour; et cetra. I chose the final option, claim her as mine and have the termination spay done. The Sassy Princess was last spotted doing the algebraic calculation of how to spread out her tiny body to take over the largest amount of space on a queen size bed possible.\n\nI have had several friends outraged that I took a potential owner's right to choose whether their cat has the right to have kittens away. Someone else accused me of not caring about the kittens and not wanting them and being a kitten killer. I have argued that if the owners did show up, I would return the cat if the paid the hefty vet bill. As for being a kitten killer - yep I chose one life over that of her babies because it was the life I knew I could possibly save. AITA ######","completion":" Nta. Here's a dirty little secret animal shelters that have spay neuter release programs do this all the time. The last thing an area that has strays is more kittens being born. Also if the mother is that  malnourished the kittens could have an array of genetic abnormalities that would be very expensive to house and treat. Also if a shelter had this cat come in, there is a stray hold time that varies from place to place but usually in a week or less. After that amount of time the animal is considered their animal and they would do the exact same thing that you did. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this I'm 23 (m) and she's 20 (f), I quit smoking cigarettes for her when we started dating 2 years ago. That was a deal breaker for her and I respected that and chose her over my vice. Fast forward 2 years and now she's coming into her own and finding herself and wants to \"go wild instead of being responsible\" (her words). She started vaping with nicotine and sneaking alcohol into her parents house and wants to experience all types of drugs and not have restraints or feel obligated to not do stuff because of someone, which is likely me and her parents. We live in Tennessee which has harsh drug laws and I'm staunchly against drug use, which I've made clear. \n\nI told her that her starting vaping upset me because of the stink she made about me smoking and telling me to quit, which I did. I told her about my experiences being addicted to nicotine and how I don't want to see her go through that. She says by all means start smoking again because it wouldn't be fair. However I think she helped me by taking that stand and it really pains me to see her start an addiction (which she admits shes addicted) especially to something that is supposed to help smokers quit. She said sorry, but blew me off. I didn't tell her to quit I just told her how I felt. I've also told her that doing drugs is a deal breaker for me to which she didn't really respond. I've just pretty much told her to do what she wants at this point and whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be the controlling guy or tell her what to do. But deep down I want her to choose me. Am I the asshole in this situation. ######","completion":" NTA. Her vaping after you quit smoking after she asked you to is hypocritical and seems like a red flag. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I moved in 2011, I changed my phone number. I never got a call from anyone asking for someone else, until about 2016. Every so often, I would get a call for this chick. If it was just a scammer, I wouldn't have worried about it, but I started getting calls about her doctors appointments, like OBGYN. I always said I don't know her, but it was still annoying. The problem was that I didn't know who this chick is. The first name is common, but the last name isn't. I couldn't even look her up on any social media because I didn't know how to spell it.\n\nAnyway, I went to Petsmart today. They asked me for my phone number for the rewards. Then the screen popped up on the pin pad, and the cashier asked if that's correct. Note: I always a Petsmart rewards thing forever, and when they changed the program few years ago, I gave them my info again. So they should have MY name and email, right? But nope, it's that chick. She changed the info to hers. I didn't get her email, but I figured out how to spell her last name.\n\nI looked her up on social media and found her. Some people said it might not be a good idea to reach out. Would I be an asshole to tell her to stop using my phone number for everything, especially for medical purposes? ######","completion":" NTA. Her number might be 1234 and yours is 1243? Give her a chance to prove she not an ah. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.\n\nThis was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.\n\nI worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.\n\nAt this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.\n\nBasically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to  do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.\n\nEDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ######","completion":" NTA. Her loves sounds super conditional to me. \"I'll only sleep with you if you look a certain way\" is basically what she said. You said she's put on weight but you think she's still perfect and I personally would want a partner that feels the same way about me.\n\nYou shouldn't feel bad about snapping at her and I'm sorry she body shamed you and used sex as a weapon against you. That's abuse my dude, I would seriously consider reconsidering your relationship and what you want. Hope things calm down for you soon. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 5 year old had been going to my mother in laws house pretty regularly for overnights, 2 or 3 times a month, per her request. In all my years of parenting, I have made it loudly, unmistakably clear that I do not use physical discipline on my children, and she is not to either. Ok, she doesnt agree but will respect it. \n\nFast forward to about 8 months ago (this is my MIL story and my daughter essentially concurred), my then 4 year old was in the bath and my MIL was helping her, and my child got shampoo in her eyes and started to cry and panic, so she splashed water on my daughters face to \"help\" and she lost it. She screamed and wailed because she couldnt see and had water up her nose now, and my MIL couldnt figure out the issue and there was another sleeping baby in the house, so she smacked my childs bare wet ass to \"calm her down and stop the noise\" (huh?) Instead of grabbing her a towel to dry off her face or offering comfort.\n\nMy daughter still doesnt understand why it happened and brings it up occasionally. Its created a huge rift in the family dynamic and relationship, but my MIL still doesnt feel like she did anything wrong. I'm very bitter about it still and have been a little controlling over visits since then. \n\nSo reddit, am I the overreacting asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Her logic is weird?! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we’ve been having sex for a few months. Most subjects we agree on pretty much completely and if not it’s not a big deal, everyone’s different. One of the topics that have come up is abortion and she says she is pro choice which I am too. My lizard brain didn’t think this through and assumed if we had a slip up we would go that route because that’s how it was in my past relationships.\n\nToday on a car ride she mentioned she’s pro choice but personally wouldn’t be able to have an abortion which is fine, that’s her choice. I told her that it’s my fault that I didn’t bring up the subject and that it was wrong of me to assume, but right now I’m in college and still have 3 more years left. I think I might want kids someday but I couldn’t have them now. I told her I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore for awhile at least because I don’t want an accident to happen even though we are generally pretty safe.\n\nBecause if something did happen right now I’m not sure if I could stick around. And wouldn’t want to put anyone, especially her in that situation. \n\nRight now she’s upset that I’ve had sex with her before but won’t right now and saying that I’m being unreasonable.\n\n\nAITA for not wanting to have sex? ######","completion":" NTA. Her interest in an abortion was different than what you thought, meaning she would keep it. Sex is consensual, and if one party wants to abstain because the other does not want to get an abortion, they are not an asshole. If she gets mad at you for not having sex with her, tell her that what she said just made you uncomfortable with being in a sexual relationship with her and that you choose to abstain as of now. ######"}
{"prompt":"**Not recent but we are still arguing over this** \n\nMy sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.\n\nShe's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.\n\nWhen my sister was 19 she started to drink, since I wasn't living locally I only knew she had a problem about 4 years into it.\n\nShe's (28F) since cleared up her act, her partner even proposed and they're talking about having children when she's sober for long enough (she's been sober for 10months now and she wants to wait till she's been sober for 2-3 years) \n\n\n8months ago we were having dinner with my parents and I got myself and my husband a drink.\n\nThe entire family went silent, like I'd done something profoundly evil.\n\n\nAnd when my sister left my mother pulled me aside to tell me how wrong it was to drink in front of my sister who's struggling and my sisters partner hasn't had a nice word to say to  me since (we avoid each other) \n\nWell, we were on skype with the family recently and I mentioned the biggest struggle was how every  food I used to enjoy makes me nauseous now.\n\nMy sisters partner said \"oh, I'll make sure to eat that around you then like you did with *sisters name*\" in a snarky tone, my sister butted in to say he was joking.\n\nI exited the chat and told my sister I expected an apology from him.\n\nShe replied \"*where's my apology when you saw me struggling and continued to drink?*\" \n\nI don't think I did **anything** wrong! They frequently go out to meals and she wouldve seen someone drinking then, I can't shield her from every little thing.\n\nAITA? I'll apologise if I am. ######","completion":" NTA. Her fiancé is though. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate approached me today and said that her friend (who i've never met or heard of) had to move out of the dorms in a week and since he lived in Germany he could not go home for the summer. \nEssentially she had told him he could stay at our apartment (2 bed 1 bath) for a month and was wondering if it was okay with me. I told her it made me uncomfortable to live and share a bathroom with a stranger and that I wasn't okay with him living at our apartment. \nI feel bad since he does not have any other options and my roommate was trying to sort something out for him but I have social anxiety and would not be able to easily do daily necessities with him there and it would be a violation of our lease agreement. She is moving out in June while I'm renewing the lease so I am at risk if we get caught and she doesn't know about my social anxiety. \nAm I the asshole for not letting him stay? ######","completion":" NTA. Her fault for telling someone they could stay over while not consulting you about it. Tell her to tell German guy that it's not gonna happen ######"}
{"prompt":"First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom \"mom\" and both my husband and her step dad \"dad\". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.\n\nI don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.\n\nOne day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons. \n\nLater that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.\n\nI feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. Her bio moms outdated views about virginity are affecting her negatively and they don’t even make any sense. You did what objectively was best for her and should feel bad about it. However you should get your husband on the same page so if bio mom does find out you weren’t making a unilateral decision. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?\n\nI (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy. \n\nI was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**\n\nThat being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head\/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me. \n\nToday, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything. \n\nI know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched. \n\nTL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Her being trans doesn’t mean she can touch your hair. You told her you don’t like being touched and she disregarded your warning. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc. \n\nShe co-owns a successful business w\/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.\n\nFor the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props. \n\nBusiness has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc. \n\nRecently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through. \n\nMy parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate. \n\nShe started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######","completion":" NTA. Her actions are costing the business money. Also, not everyone likes babies. So if your business is handmade leather goods and the baby is sitting on new products with a diaper on, or drooling all over the merch, it doesn't look very good. It looks very unprofessional. \n\nMaybe let her manage a social media page where the baby poses with bags or whatever with the family and other customers, but actual product shots and communication should remain formal and without baby. That's just weird. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.\n\nWhen we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing. \n\nMy husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.\n\nThen today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”. \n\nAm I being difficult here? ######","completion":" NTA. He’s your child, not hers. She gave him up. You’re already being gracious to her by having an open adoption with your son. \n\nI’m also adopted, and I’d be weirded out if my birth mother did this to me since I consider my adopted parents my real parents. You’re completely in your right to make that request. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: my ex and I have a 20 month old daughter. Ex and I live together even though we aren't any longer romantically involved and overall have a good relationship.\n\nLong story short: our daughter is a 20 months old and with special medical needs and have never left my side once since she was born. I've literally never been apart from her for more than 2 hours, say if her dad was taking her for a walk. \n\nDaughter is not yet in nursery because of her medical condition meaning I care for her all day long and work part time at night. Dad has left me with her for a total of 7 months in total split over several weeks at a time, sometimes he had to go for work and sometimes because he wanted to fly home to visit family. For 20 months I've not met with a friend or family member or gone to the hairdresser without my now toddler by my side. Due to our smallish apartment, I also sleep in her room. I don't remember the last time I was on my own.\n\nI'm going nuts, I'm exhausted, I'm getting more and more depressed by the day and I need a break. Just two nights in a hotel in the city somewhere. Doing nothing.\n\nMoney is not an issue but my ex insists that I'm being selfish and shouldn't want to go or want to be away from my daughter.  He's said that instead he'll take her for a few hours doing the weekend but in honesty, I just need away from them both for a day or two. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He’s TA for acting like a brat about taking care of his own kid for more than a couple hours. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...\n\nWe work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.\n\nI get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.\n\nThis isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.\n\nSo, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######","completion":" NTA. He’s straight up gaslighting you by telling you you’re overreacting to something that you are 100% allowed to be upset about. You can’t go through someone else’s private belongings, and the fact that he’s trying to convince you he did nothing wrong makes it even worse. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.\n\nOverall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.\n\nI feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ######","completion":" NTA. He’s gaslighting you. You should never, ever feel frightened of a partner in a relationship. Everything he’s doing are massive red flags. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it. \n\nI have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them. \n\nIt is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave.  \n\nWhen he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen. \n\nHe says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He’s free to move out and have as many friends over as he’d like. At very least, your sons friends are extremely disrespectful and have no sense of boundaries. My older brother would have torn his friends to pieces if they were pulling this crap to me (Same age difference as your son and daughter).  It was an unwritten rule to look out for your buddies little sisters. Trying to flirt with a friends little sister was never ok. ESPECIALLY if they are 14 and you’re 18. Your sons friends don’t respect her, your son, or you and your wife\/home. ######"}
{"prompt":"Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.\n\nI said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.\n\nMy brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. He’s acting like he wasn’t planning to pay it back. 30k is an awful lot to flake on returning ######"}
{"prompt":"So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend. \n\nShe lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him. \n\nMy friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content. \n\nI told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated. \n\nMy own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ######","completion":" NTA. He's your friend too.  Also blackmail would be if you threatened that he would find out unless she gave you something you wanted.  That is not what happening.  You are telling her you will not conceal her infidelity (given that she knows thats how her fiance would view it) and giving her the opportunity to be the one to own up to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this guy has been my friend for a few months now. Maybe 5 or 6. Went to a few parties at his place, talked a bunch when quarantine was starting, that kind of thing. Once, when i was pretty drunk at one of his parties (a get-together of 4 pretty close friends), i spilled that id slept with a friend in our closer friend circle. Literally the next day i find out he's been telling everyone about it. \n\nFast forward a few months to late quarantine and he starts criticising little things i do. Like just reacting to his texts on Messenger when I don't have anything to say, and straight up calls me \"very dishonest\" for telling a teacher online I couldn't hear them well.\n\nA couple days ago I'm out with friends and i find out he's been spilling that conversation too, and now some friends of mine from totally separate groups know about it.\n\nSo I decide to cut ties with this guy, and he just won't let up. Saying he still wants to talk to me and that he never had any bad intentions and that he doesn't understand why I won't try to work on this relationship and talk things out rather than cutting ties straight up. \n\nSo, after all of this, i need a sanity check. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. He's proven he can't be trusted. If he keeps pestering you, leave him on read or block him. Retaliation will only get him what he wants - a conversation. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time. \n \nFor the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that. \n \nHe came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house. \n \nI told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times. \n\nAITA for lying?\n\nEDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######","completion":" NTA. He's pressuring you. Both before and after your \"promise\". You shouldn't joke about that, but it doesn't make you an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories. \n\nSo, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ######","completion":" NTA. He's controlling. Huge red flags everywhere. You're only 18 - you have plenty of time to dump him and live your life. There are loads of partners out there who would be thrilled to be your bf. His insecurity is not your problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) &amp; me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.\nFor example - \nMe: \"Can you take the garbage out?\"\nHim: \"Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!\"\nThings came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents. \nNow a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the \"Demon\" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him. \nPlease help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######","completion":" NTA. He's being a manipulative little shit; his parents aren't a trump card for him to whip out to get you to do stuff for him. It sounds like he's attempting to gaslight you as well by conveniently forgetting a really shitty thing he said. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny. \n\nLast week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't. \n\nIt's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted. \n\nSo today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started. \n\nNow he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first. \n\nAITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######","completion":" NTA. He's been testing the females all year if he's been making sexual jokes. It's grooming behavior, trying to make himself seem less threatening (it's just a \"joke\"). He absolutely knows better. And reporting him was the right thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a \"sleep till the last possible minute\" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.\n\nMy husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi\/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running. \n\nSometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.\n\nToday he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said \"you're late\" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future. \n\nThis is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######","completion":" NTA. He's a grown adult for crying out loud. His sleep schedule\/routine is solely his responsibility to manage and it's not your responsibility to manage him. Also, who the heck sleeps in the shower with the water running?! ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.\n\nOnce in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians. \n\nAnyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career. \n\nWell we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing. \n\nSo not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized\/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages. \n\nI do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ######","completion":" NTA. He's 19, he volunteered knowing what it entailed, and he enjoyed it. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of backstory:Me and my step brother share a room, I am 17 and he is 15 and he HATES to shower like full on despises having to shower he is like a cat.  He plays football, and works out a lot so he sweats and has a nasty case of athlete BO, I hate having to smell that and I think in the past 5-6 months he has showered once (we aren't having any sort of financial crisis where he couldn't shower he just doesn't).  He's made the room almost unbearable and I pretty much sleep on the couch now cause of it and I put in a couple of those febreeze air fresheners. \n\nMain Problem:I was in my room on my phone when he came in after working out, it was extra bad this time I was getting up to leave the room cause I hate the smell.  He asked me why I was leaving and I said cause I don't wanna be in the room anymore thinking he would just drop it.  I guess he didn't like that and came out of the room asking if he did something wrong, I kept brushing him off cause I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but he wouldn't stop pushing the issue.\n\nMe:Dude you smell like shit.  Take a fucking shower, I can't deal with the smell anymore.  If you need help with how to properly shower ill show you or your dad can but you can't go on like how you are my guy. \n\n(His sister got involved cause she didn't like how I was talking to him or something) \n\nStep Sister:Don't talk to my brother like that\n\nMe:Come on, I'm just saying he needs to take a shower.  I am not trying to bash him but he needs one, he works out too much to not shower.  \n\nStep Sister:doesn't give you a right to be a fucking asshole to him\n\nAt this point my step dad got involved and sent them to their rooms and I was sent to the living room, my step dad was mad at me the most and said that I should have been nicer to my \"brother\".  I told him that he needs to make him shower and smell better, I even said id help him if he did but my step dad told me to drop the conversation and never bring it up again.  AITA????? ######","completion":" NTA. He's 15 not 3 and shouldn't need to be told to shower. \n\nWhy hasn't his parents said something? ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says \"jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007\" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######","completion":" NTA. He wasn’t in your life until like 3 years ago. Talk to him about it and maybe say to wait a couple years so it wouldn’t be as weird. Good luck bro ######"}
{"prompt":"Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was \"too sleepy\". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation. \n\nDuring grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling. \n\nFast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh. \n\n2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it. \n\nWithout any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward \"hi, I think I'm your cousin\", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me. \n\nApparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it. \n\nI am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He wasn’t in your life for a long time. And when he reconnected with you, he only wanted money. I don’t know who told you he died, but still. You do not have to reconnect with him if you don’t want to; especially knowing how flaky he is and how he only really seemed to want money. If he gets sad for a drift *he* caused, that’s on him. It’s not your job to pick up the pieces. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nA few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ######","completion":" NTA. He was willing to sacrifice you for the potential of a baby. You did the right thing for you and your health. \n\nAlso the fact that he dragged his family into it shows he may not have been the right long term partner for you. \n\nBe well ######"}
{"prompt":"So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating\nThanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today\nI mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill. \nI feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.\nHe thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######","completion":" NTA. He was rude and inconsiderate af and I’m fairly certainly he’ll be okay for one day on little sleep doing...what sounds like nothing. \n\n(Though I do think yall should have a calm sit down where you go over the previously negotiated boundary [of sleeping in the other room after X time]. Quarantine has made for some anxious and testy bedfellows so it can’t hurt to calmly discuss this and reinforce its necessity after you both have calmed down a bit.) ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. \n\nWhile I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.\n\nI've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about \"bastards wanting a payday\" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He was legally responsible for that debt. All you did was make sure he had to fulfill his obligation. ######"}
{"prompt":"We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.\n\nOne of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him. \n\nThen in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.\n\nI told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.\n\nAITA reddit? ######","completion":" Nta. He was being rude and unprofessional ######"}
{"prompt":"This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.\n\nAfter that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left. \n\nAfterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######","completion":" NTA. He waited until everyone else left so he could ask, so he knew it was inappropriate. Sorry your sister is refusing to believe it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.\n\nMy ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.\n\nI invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him. \n\nThe party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex. \n\nMy ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”\n\nI’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home. \n\nI spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”\n\nIt felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. He tried to ruin your birthday party. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Nothing too heavy here. \n\nMy (39F) ‘partner’ (34M) asked me, “Can I make you something for lunch?” I answered, “Sure!” He went inside, I heard him in the kitchen for maybe 5 minutes, he came out with... some lunch for himself. Then it went like this:\n\nMe (kinda laughing): Are you serious?\nHim: What the fuck did I do now?\nMe (confused): Didn’t you hear me say “sure” when you asked if I wanted lunch?\nHim: I waited for you to tell me what you wanted, and when you didn’t, I thought ‘fuck ya’. \nMe: ... I don’t understand...\n\nHe got annoyed, said “there’s your lunch, enjoy” (pointing to his plate), and walked away, calling me a fuckhead. \n\nI think he’s an AH, he clearly thinks I’m an AH. I still don’t understand. Whenever I’ve asked him if he wants breakfast, for instance, if he says yes but doesn’t specify what he wants, I’ll still make him something. \n\nWe were having a lovely day, I just don’t get it. \n\nWhat’s your verdict? ######","completion":" NTA. He took the initiative to ask, he should've followed up. He's being petty. ######"}
{"prompt":"My biological father has been in and out of jail ever since I was 6. He went to jail for identity theft. When my mom found out that all the presents he had bought her were basically stolen, she divorced him and made him return the items. My mom didn't remarry. Despite not having a dad, it didn't bother me. My dad was released in 2018, and has been trying to get back in my life. I'm not going to lie, he's an asshole. When I let him back in the first time, he demanded I give him the money I've been saving since I was 15, roughly $1,500. When I refused, he spent it on alcohol and gambling while I was at work. I kicked him out of my apartment and he went to live with my half brother. He's came to my job, and slept with my boss who then fired me. With everything going on, I really needed that money. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it is to make ends meet right now. He showed up to my apartment the next day asking for some cash (the audacity this man has is unreal.) I cussed him out and told him he wasn't my dad. That my birth certificate may have his name on it, but he's not my father. I have honestly never considered him my father and I never will. I made sure he knew this too. Over the course of 2 weeks, I have gotten at least 300 texts from my half brother telling me how rude I'm being to our dad. AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA. He stole from you and he got you fired. Worst of all he was never been there for you and your mum.\n\nMaybe you can take him to court over the money he took from you. How did he even take it? Wasn't it in your bank account? ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s... \n1) Not experienced\n2) Not licensed \n3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain\n4) Is not a responsible driver\nHe left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds too immature to own a motorcycle.  He has no concern for his safety or the safety of the people that he will share the road with. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f19) have been with my boyfriend (m20) for a year now. \n\nAbout 6 months into our relationship I got pregnant, and suffered a miscarriage about three months into it. I was heartbroken but at the end of the day felt like it was fate because I couldn’t financially take care of a child anyways. \n\nWell I paid for everything since I’m not on my parents health insurance anymore. *graphic* I had to get it removed from me because the fetus didn’t come out on it’s own, and the procedure alone cost me $600. Also the anti nausea meds, pain meds and follow up drs appts. \n\nMy boyfriend was hardly involved in the process and loosely offered to help pay, but I just declined because I felt he didn’t mean it. So I spent well over $1,000. Which is fine, but now I can’t afford a car and it’s set me back big time. \n\nMy boyfriend constantly spends his money on video games or things for his car. He offers up coffee every day for me and other things as well. HE OFFERS. Yet, in an argument, he threw this back on me saying im only with him because he buys me things. I was so shocked and I threw it back on him that in one of the most important times, he couldn’t even pretend to care and I didn’t take a cent of his money. Also I mentioned he offers those things up and rarely do I take them. \n\nHe retorted that those medical bills weren’t his problems, so that’s why he didn’t pay. I got offended because it takes two to make a baby. So I snapped and went into the other room where I’ve been crying all night. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds like trash. People really show you who they are in a tough time, and he pretty clearly showed you his selfish ass. I hope you move on quickly to a happy life of your own design. ######"}
{"prompt":"Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.\n\nMy boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.\n\nAITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds like he just wanted you to give up and let his kids do whatever they want so he could continue to be Cool Dad. Either way you'd be the one eating shit. His current silent treatment is part of the same theme. You cave, everything goes back to where it was with you and your pets being terrorized. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds like an ass. Next time he acts off, ask him if he going through an early mid life crisis. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.\n\nSo I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds like a psycho. Run. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was \"Surprised anyone would wanna date you\" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back \"Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family.\" Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore\/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds like a horror to grow up with, it makes sense that you don’t feel sad over this. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Abuse of any kind can impact you in ways that are unimaginable ######"}
{"prompt":"Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.\n\nI have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).\n\nWell my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.\n\nSo I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.\n\nIdk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds extremely coddled as well if your aunt's instinct is to call you and tell at you about her grown ass son. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.\n\n3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.\n\nAbout 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.\n\nThey apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.\n\nA few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.\n\nMy mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)\n\nBefore the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.\n\nFast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######","completion":" NTA. He sounds creepy - a con artist at best. You have every right not to want your family near him.  Reiterate to her that she is welcome at any time and you and your family would love to get together with her only. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.\n\nThey all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.\n\nMy husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######","completion":" NTA. He should've discussed it with you before he even offered, regardless of what type of relationship he has with the cousin. ######"}
{"prompt":"Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short. \n\nBackground: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part. \n\nStory: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head. \n\nTHE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION. \n\nI IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like \"bruh chill,\" while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background. \n\nI don't accept. \n\nIt was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He should not have said that information about you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.\n\nRecently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.\n\nI replied with \" I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs\". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He should have thought that one through a little bit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.\n\nMyself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.\n\nWe are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######","completion":" NTA. He should have lived up to his part of the agreement. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc. \n\nI absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things. \n\nWhen I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday. \n\nI was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything. \n\nHe is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them. \n\nAm I TA for not helping them clean up? ######","completion":" NTA. He should have delayed his phone call. Your daughter is old enough to know about making and cleaning messes. She should be the one to clean it, and your husband should be the one to make sure she does. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.\n\nThey all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.\n\nMy husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######","completion":" NTA. He should have asked you before using your shared points. Especially because you both had plans for them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.\n\nNow, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He should focus on paying back the $400 first. These are financially tough times on everyone imo ######"}
{"prompt":"For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22\n\nIt’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”\n\nHe absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway” \n\nHe is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.\n\nWell, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.  \n\nI’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone. \n\nWell, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt” \n\nI try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.\n\nHis friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.\n\nA couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.\n\nNow he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.\n\nWas it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######","completion":" NTA. He should be way more embarrassed by his own behavior than by anything you said. \n\nAnd if he acts like this about a video game, how is he going to act when something that is actually important doesn't work out? There are some red flags here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest. \n\nI love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.\n\nTonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4. \n\nI keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.\n\nAITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######","completion":" NTA. He should be just as responsible with the child as you are. You're both new parents but that doesn't meant the entire brunt of it should fall on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nSo, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.\nRight now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He sent it to you without consent, that's a cyber version of flashing someone. Which is a sex crime. If he didn't want it in his mom's inbox he shouldn't have sexually harassed a stranger. You're under no obligation to care about some dude's embarassment when he's going around harassing women. Also, yeah, he absolutely SHOULD feel embarassed about doing something shitty. ######"}
{"prompt":"For about four years, I had a 2001 Toyota Corolla that got me where I needed to go without many issues. It was my first car, pretty inexpensive and definitely reliable. I just finished grad school and I’m looking into getting my career started, so my plan was to get a newer car within the next two years and give the old one to my youngest sister when she turns 16. \n\nLast week, my brother, who is kind of notorious for being a reckless driver, wrecked my car. Thankfully he was totally okay! The car is totaled though. I have to get a new car and as I’m searching, it looks like the I’ll be putting 500 down, getting a 6,000 loan and then paying the rest with the insurance money from my totaled car.\n\nSo here’s the thing: my brother is 100% responsible for this situation. He made a mistake and crashed my car. However, he’s a poor, college student who is especially low on money given the current pandemic. I feel like a dick asking for money towards my new car but it also is fair. If he were a stranger and had crashed into my car, totaling it, he would be held responsible and have to pay. \n\nI definitely wouldn’t ask for more than the 500 that I have to put down out of pocket but idk how much exactly I would ask for from him. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. He screwed up when he crashed your car. It sucks he isn't financially well off, but the least he can do is help with the down payment. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.\n\nThe buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.\n\nI urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.\n\nBut now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA. He pretty much ignored you for a month and then suddenly decided that he wants a refund? Unless his world fell apart in that month and he couldn't contact you, then you are not the asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.\n\nHe asked what address I wanted  the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks\n\nSince my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.\n\nAs for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it. \n\nBut I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.\n\nSo I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.\n\nThe lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.\n\nIt’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said  I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.\n\nAnd that’s where I am now. ######","completion":" NTA. He owed you money, and he left it to you. And the lawyer said he'd look for the kids. I'm assuming he probably found them, or how else did she know to contact you? \n\nAnd why was the daughter is so upset about the photos and whatever else was thrown out, when she didn't even stay in touch with her father enough to know he died? ######"}
{"prompt":"This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######","completion":" NTA. He might not be happy with his body but saying that shit in front of you it’s just insensitive and alienates you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us. \n\nMy wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game). \n\nAnyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup. \n\nSo I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep. \n\nBecause of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over. \n\nOne morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.” \n\nLast winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok. \n\nThere’s more but this post is already getting long. \n\nSo fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc. \n\nWe basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that. \n\nMy wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids. \n\nThis guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen. \n\nAITA for not inviting the kids? ######","completion":" NTA. He made his bed and now he can sleep in it.  That being said I feel like you need to put up some kind of a barrier between the two yards.  I’m thinking something like grapes or raspberry bushes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######","completion":" NTA. He knows you don't like chickpeas, adds them anyway, and makes you feel guilty for not liking them. There's only one a-hole in this story, and it's not you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20\/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account. \n\nWe confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number. \n\nLast week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He knew when the date was and still waited. Then he had your parents try to fight his battles.\n\n It's not too late for him to \"prove\" he was going to pay you anyway— once he gives you the money he can find out the number for the new account. \n\nSo if he really was going to pay, he has nothing to be mad about. He'll have the same access as always once he does what he said he was going to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I’ve been talking to the guy for a month or so, maybe longer, and we’ve made plans for a weekend before but he never texted back so the day came and went and I heard nothing. He said he was really sick and couldn’t let me know\/forgot about it. I forgave him, moved on. YESTERDAY we agreed to meet up for coffee and I message this morning .... nothing. One hour before we were supposed to meet up he literally says “I’m at work” (that’s all) and then when I confronted him and got mad about it tonight, he starts saying that he has to work heaps because he’s helping his parents stay afloat, and they have no money and he’s working 70 hours a weeks, and he had to rush into work and didn’t have time to text. And then bringing up all the times he offered to come over at midnight and shit and I turned him down. He turned the whole argument back on me and I feel bad for attacking him but I also feel dumb for feeling bad...???\nHe’s the asshole, right?? Or am I being a bit of a bitch because he works heaps and I have more time off\/don’t understand what it’s like working so much? ######","completion":" NTA. He just wants to fuck, fam. If you want a date, you should probably find it somewhere else. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me \"dad.\" I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.   \n\nBoth my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.\n\nMy brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ######","completion":" NTA. He just wants pics of his kids looking happy so he doesn’t feel as bad about being such a fuck up. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.\n\n Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He ISNT doing his share as a parent or partner. \n\nHe doesn’t like the chart because now he has to face that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Since March 1, we are at home because of the Coronavirus and since the beginning of March that my 17-year-old brother stays up until 8am playing video games and wakes up at 8pm, I understand that there it's nothing to do, it's routine, but he spends the evening eating.\n\nHe barely having finished his supper that he opens the fridge and looks for something else to eat, and he does this every 1 hour until that he sleeps. He has gained weight, and does not go out for a short walk or even to do sports in the\nhouse. We all tell him that it is not good for his health but he does not listen to anyone. \n\nI then ordered a lock (luckily our fridge is 2 doors) lock the fridge after the dessert he has eaten after supper. He is very angry and says that it is abuse but I do this for his good, I intend to unlock it after some hours have passed at least. \n\nAITA for doing that?\nPS : Sorry for my english. ######","completion":" NTA. He isn't paying for food, he can wait to eat until he is given permission. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat. \n\nWithout hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time. \n\nI told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk\/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions. \n\nHe tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and \"taking it too seriously.\" \n\nNo, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for \"overreacting\"? ######","completion":" NTA. He is treating you like a cat that gets squirted for scratching the couch. Very demeaning. Does he treat you like a child in other aspects of your relationship as well? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep this short. \n\nI’ve worked at a restaurant for a while and there’s this one guy that usually comes. We’ve casually chatted a bit and have a casual relationship. He’s hot. I’m not. He usually comes really late, I’ve talked to him twice in the parking lot after my shift ended. He also initiates and carries on these conversations, I’m not harassing him. \n\nI decided to shoot my shot, after work today we were talking again and I asked him out. He said no. I was fine with this. I was about to accept that and leave, but after the initial rejection he went on about how he just couldn’t force himself to be attracted to me physically, “you’re a very nice girl but . . .” and all that jazz. I felt a little hurt by this because he could’ve just aid no, there was no reason to go off on my appearance, I already knew he wasn’t physically attracted to me after the first no. I felt he was being kind of condescending. He continued to “comfort” me afterwards, saying he was sure I would find a good guy, looks aren’t everything, to keep my head up, etc. It was also really embarrassing because his friend was there and could hear everything going on. He looked really awkward and uncomfortable. \n\nI went home and was obviously pretty bummed. My brother noticed and asked why so I told him and he told me the guy was TA. I kind of ranted about it to to three of my friends in a group chat and they agreed there was no need to list the reasons why he wouldn’t date me. At the end I calmed down and said I was over it, we talked about other stuff. \n\nI guess one of my friends must have told friends and apparently he found out, he reached out to me on social media and said I was a bitter bitch. AITA ######","completion":" NTA. He is suck an a-hole. Here was no need to take it as far as he did, and really who cares what he thinks. Really you lucked out here. Now you know he is a douche and can move on to another.. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March. \n\nToday he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.  \n\nI’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half. \n\nMy boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. He is learning unfortunate consequences. \n\nAnd the good thing is he won't be out money, which is the silver lining. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SO is 300 miles away with his family.\n\nWe live together on a ground floor apartment. I spent the weekend with him and his family and he asked me to keep the blinds closed when I go back to our city, to which I agreed because it seemed reasonable given the riots. When I actually came back to our city, around noon I went to grab lunch and noticed that the neighborhood was actually completely calm, safe and sunny. There is a peaceful gathering by city hall three blocks away, which I even joined for a few seconds and felt no danger. I opened the blinds back up after coming back home, at least until the streets are calm.\n\nNot long after, he calls me up, tells me that his friends have noticed that the blinds were open and orders me to close them again. I explain to him why I opened them, seeing how I have more information about my safety that he does, but calmly agree to close them again.\n\nThis should have been it, but he proceeded to talk to me like \"I knew you wouldn't listen\" etc., at which point I blew and started yelling at the top of my lungs stuff like \"stop treating treating me like a fucking child, that I can determine when I'm feeling safe better than you can over the internet\" etc.\n\nHe says \"I will never forgive you for yelling at me like that. Fuck you\" and hangs up.\n\nAITA? I actually apologized for yelling, but he's not having it and doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for. ######","completion":" Nta. He is being controlling and having a friend report on you to him is weird. Also the whole thing about knowing you wouldn't listen is a huge red flag. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######","completion":" NTA. He is being astonishingly insensitive. He can perfectly well find someone else to dump his insecurities on who he won't be implicitly insulting with every word. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool. \n\nWhile we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23) \nThey would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice. \n\nThe topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to) \n\nAnyway I dropped it. \n\nNow we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.\nYesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine) \nI told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him. \n\nWIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######","completion":" NTA. He is a grown adult, he can make his own decisions. I’m guessing that if she regrets her own tattoos, she’s asking you not to tattoo him so that he doesn’t regret his own tattoos. But I think that’s his own call to make; she can’t dictate what he does anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything. \n\nNow it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad. \n\nWell tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know? \n\nBoy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######","completion":" NTA. He is 100% out of line ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend\/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family. \n\nAm the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell? \n\nHad the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago\n\nEdit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion. \n\nAITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me\n\nEdit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######","completion":" NTA. He insisted on the secrecy because he didn’t want anyone influencing your decision except him, and in doing so, he cut you off from potential sources of support when he had no intention of playing by his own rules. You have every right to be angry.\n\nAnd he’s been making comments on your body? No, no, no.\n\nHave you confided in any friends yet? You deserve support, and it does not sound like you will get that from your BF as he’s made you responsible for his anxiety as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"    So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t. \n    \n   He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does. \n\n   Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ######","completion":" NTA. He has been pestering you repeatedly for years despite you constantly saying no. He has also been like this whilst with several different girls. Texting you out of the blue asking for sexual favours is just disgusting and this behaviour is disrespectful to you and the girls he is dating. \n\nIf he loved his girlfriend he wouldn’t do this. He probably loves the sex but not his girlfriend. This guy has a seriously worrying attitude towards women and thinks he can treat them as sexual playthings. His girlfriend deserves to know exactly how much of a cretin he is, and he deserves to learn that actions have consequences. Accepting this behaviour and ignoring him has not solved the issue. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\nI wanted to get a new gaming chair for my office, and I needed to get rid of my old office chair. It cost me about 130 five years ago, and it’s held up really well all the time. It’s one of those soft leather ones with arm rests, and it leans back pretty far. That part is important.\n\n\nMy boyfriend also has an office chair that he uses while playing ps4 in the living room. He bought it from a friend for about 30 dollars, and it’s not as comfortable or nice as my old one. It’s made of hard plastic, has some weird mesh for a seat, and isn’t as wide.\n\n\nI planned to offer my old office chair to my little brother who just started online school, but since it’s nicer than my boyfriend’s, I asked my boyfriend if he’d want to give his to my brother and take my old one. He agreed. I asked several times if he was sure, and even told him we could always trade them back if he didn’t like mine, but after a couple weeks he admitted mine was way more comfortable.\n\n\nHere’s where the trouble starts. My boyfriend is a pretty muscle-y guy, he’s lifted weights for years and weighs somewhere around 230. He also loves to lean back hard in the chair when he’s gaming, especially when he’s drinking too. A couple weeks ago, after having the chair for a few months with no issues, he leaned back and the arm snapped. It didn’t break off and he seemed to think it was pretty funny, but tonight he finally broke it.\n\n\nNow he says I owe him a new chair because his old one never would’ve broken, and that I “made” him trade me. I told him that I never made him do anything and gave him plenty of chances to change his mind, and that he is the one who broke it by being so rough on it. I’m broke and in school right now, so I couldn’t really afford get him a new chair even if I wanted to, but I don’t think this is on me.\n\n\nSo, am I the asshole for telling him that I don’t owe him a new chair? ######","completion":" NTA. He had time to think about the trade and accordingly agreed to it.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDon't give the old chair back to your bf since your bro needs it for online schooling. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe situation sucks but your boyfriend wasn't careful with your chair and broke it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said \"my boyfriend made me do it\" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said \"well i found it hilarious\" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying \"i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky\" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######","completion":" NTA. He forcibly made you participate in his kink without your consent. That is never okay and if your friend was any kind of friend at all she wouldn't be defending such awful behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.\n\nTonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone. \n\nI confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch. \n\nI pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today). \n\nThen I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of. \n\nHe hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for not believing him\/being suspicious? ######","completion":" NTA. He easily could have deleted the messages from his phone not realizing they would stay on the watch. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered. \n\nSo AITA for not being more hospitable? ######","completion":" NTA. He doesn't deserve hospitality. He did this to himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened on Valentine's day, but it's still on my mind. For context, we're 24\/25 years old and had only been dating for 2 months at this time. We've since broken up. \n\nAnyways, I had a pretty gnarly upbringing and as a result don't see myself having children. My boyfriend at the time was aware of my childhood. On Valentine's day, we had plans for the evening but were hanging out at his place during the day. We got into a conversation about our parents, and I mentioned offhandedly that something they did was one of the reasons that I don't particularly want kids. BF at the time was clearly shocked and upset by this and ignored me for awhile. He then...chastised me? That's what it felt like, at least, about ruining the day by bringing up such a sensitive topic on Valentine's day. We did end up going to dinner, but it was awkward and unpleasant because he was still cold shouldering me and clearly upset.\n\nI ended the day feeling really ashamed and embarrassed, and like I was the asshole even though I didn't intend to ruin the day. \n\nWas I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. He didn't know you didn't want kids and you didn't know he wanted kids. It's 2 months in a relationship. He overreacted and no one should be shamed into not wanting children or forced into having any. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling. \n\nI’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts. \n\nIt’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading. \n\nNot only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example \n\nIf I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day! \n\nIt’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because \n\nA. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and\nB. It may just actually be a coincidence \n\nSo to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me \n\nI wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said \n\n“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”\n\nWhen he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating. \n\nI told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA? \n\nTLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######","completion":" NTA. He deserved it for reading your diary. That's invasive as fuck and he had no right to read it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?\n\nI lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.\n\nI disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light. \n\nYears later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ######","completion":" NTA. He damaged his own bike and you’re right, you can use the garage as much as he can. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.\nAITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. He crossed the line simply by entering your room. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was always chubby. As a kid, a teen, adult. I got rid of my scale years ago but my mother bought me a new one because she noticed I didn't have one.\n\nI was 145 when I got pregnant with my oldest child (BMI was 25.8 which isn't terrible.) And 175 after giving birth to the youngest. So almost 5 years ago, I set a target to be 145 again.\n\nTook me over a year but I did it. I was pretty fucking happy. Told DH and he smirked and said \"oh I thought your goal was 132.\" I actually burst into tears. Told him that bothered me immensely and to not make fun of this because it's an issue for me and he knows it.  \n\nI was no longer happy with my weight because of it. It took nearly another year until I got down to 132. \n\nThen DH said \"oh wasn't your goal 122?\" \nSo I tried but couldn't do it and it messed me up for like 8-9 months. Then I refocused, changed my habits and somehow accomplished it. I hadn't been in the 120s ever in my adult life. \n\nHe said \"oh wasn't your goal 115?\"\nSo I lost another seven pounds.\n\nAnd then he said \"your goal should really be 88 lbs.\" I'm obviously not doing this, but I also can't be happy about the 60 lbs I did lose, and that I've maintained this weight for over a year now.\n\nDH says I \"can't take a joke.\" I say \"it's not a joke if you know something is a trigger for the other person and you say it anyway.\" And then double down. Repeatedly.\n\nI really need some outside perspective. AITA or am I just oversensitive like he claims?\n\nTl;dr lost weight, husband \"joked\" I needed to lose more. Lost more, he set a new \"joking\" target. Then did it again. And again. ######","completion":" NTA. He could MAYBE have thought it was a joke the first time, but after it clearly bothered you there’s no excuse for him to repeatedly mention a new, lower “goal” weight. He sees how this “joke” affects you, and yet he continues to make the same comments. Please don’t feel pressured to conform to any “goal” he sets on YOUR body. Your goal weight should be what you feel healthiest and most comfortable at. You’re not overreacting, he’s just TA. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITAH I told  my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd\n\nOkay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant &amp; we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery.  I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing &amp; UFC fights ETC. music too...  \nbut he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)&amp; he said ‘you might want this’  \nI called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy &amp; a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted &amp; he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt &amp; I said some mean things ... AITAH? ######","completion":" NTA. He could have asked IF you wanted it, if he had to say anything at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.\nI also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.\n\nSo one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.\n\nStill some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He cheated not his sister and she was the one that told you so you could end it. He can deal with whatever fallout between him and his wife but he doesn't get to decide who his sisters friends are. He shouldn't have cheated and this wouldn't be a problem for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.\n\nFirst quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.\n\nLast quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.\n\nI told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######","completion":" NTA. He can't claim he's jobless because of you after you asked him to quit a year ago. He's had plenty of opportunity to look, and he really should be looking instead of nagging you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.\n\nMy close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. He can help what he's saying. High functioning autism doesn't cause animal abuse. Many people with autism lead rich, fullfilling lives, and those that have high-functioning often blend right in. They've just got a unique way of seeing things aren't them. It doesn't cause them to be horrible pet owners. This guy is simply an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir\/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black. \n\nAnyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \\[our family\\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'\n\nHe got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. He can claim to be a person of color all he wants but to say his skin is brown when it's not is something strange to be fixated on. He can talk about people's reactions when he says his name. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.\n\nWe have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves. \n\nHis health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.\n\nHe promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!\n\nSo I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family. \n\nI work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats. \n\nAm I TA here for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA. He basically blamed you for his inability to keep a promise. \n\nI don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. Sometimes that frustrates people, but it's better than making myself a liar. \n\nDon't be too hard on him though, a lot of company cultures encourages this kind of behavior, he needs to realize there's more important things in life than working and money.\n\nRight now he's missing watching his kids grow up, he's neglecting his family and his wife. He doesn't want to wake up ten years from now alone and then suddenly realize how badly he fucked up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17f) have an uncle (17m). I've never viewed him as an uncle since he's the same age as me.\n\nNow the little shit finds it hilarious to address me as niece whenever we meet and insists that I call him uncle. Family is very meh about it but mostly on his side. \"You address your other uncles as uncles, why not him? He's your grandfather's son as well, he deserves that title from you just as much as Uncle X,Y and Z do\". Except Uncles X,Y and Z are all around my mother's age, so 20-30 years older than me, not the same age. \n\nHe really put on the waterworks the last time, and now I'm really the asshole for making him feel left out by not calling him \"uncle\" and not responding when he says \"niece\". I've been disinvited from a few family gatherings because I refuse to bow down. \n\nWell, in order to get on some of my family's good side I posted a family pic taken on my birthday. In the caption I said thank you to Aunties X,Y,Z and Uncles X,Y,Z. Except this time I put him as an uncle. I thought this would tide them over since captioning him as an uncle is easier for me than calling him uncle to his face. My close friends know my family dynamics, but the people I don't really know well? They genuinely thought we were cousins of some sort. \n\nWhen I put him as uncle, people kinda went crazy. At first they kept saying I accidentally put him as an uncle and when I didn't reply he started getting messages like \"omg is OP really your niece?\" and \"so OP's grandpa is your dad?\", \"all of your siblings are like in their 40s\". \n\nYeah I basically blew up his entire friend group with that one pic. He's not talking to me and is pretty pissed. ######","completion":" NTA. He asked you to call him \"uncle\". You did so. Maybe not in the context he was asking for, but he doesn't get to insist that you call him uncle in one setting, and keep it a secret elsewhere. Also why is it embarrassing to him if he is he same age as his niece? It just means that he is much younger than one of his siblings, and that sibling had kids at a relatively young age. So what? ######"}
{"prompt":"Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house \"unsafe\" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Having doors closed actually makes you safer in a fire btw ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter, 10 months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding. When she starts to bite, I simply tell her \"no\" and put her down immediately. I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone- I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore. \n\nInstead I've been pumping, but even that is extremely painful until I let my breasts heal. Instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula. My husband does not like this. He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula. He believes that breastmilk is best and formula is the devil because it's not \"natural\" or something. At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day. \n\nIt reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have \"no choice\" but to breastfeed our daughter. \n\nI ask him why he's doing this, and he simply says he doesn't think I'm not trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me, and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain. ######","completion":" NTA. Have her bite HIS nipple and see how much his pain isn't a big deal. \n\nAlso, you don't need a justification to discontinue breastfeeding, regardless. Even if you just didn't feel like it anymore.\n\nEdited to add: FWIW, my husband thinks hiding the formula was a scummy thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill \"are you fucking incompetent\/learn to do your job\/etc\" side-handed shit from customers.\n\nSeveral months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if \"that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly\"\nWith roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* \"fucked with\" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them.\nNaturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) \"well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face.\" Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable.\n\nI said at the time something along the lines of \"I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that.\"\n\nIt happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat\/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset.\nI do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer.\n\nAm I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move.\n\nEDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ######","completion":" NTA. Hate speech like the N-word is not the same as talking shit or just plain being rude. Nobody should have to tolerate hate speech. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman. \n\nI eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Has your friend never heard of female impersonators or drag queens?!  Let’s outlaw Rupaul while we’re at it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted. \n\nOf course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.\n\nShe ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######","completion":" NTA. Hand her a bill for $70 for babysitting and tell her it’s a wash. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.\n\nRecently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.\n\nAfter we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back. \n\nI didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning. \n\nI got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?\n\nTL:DR\nEx had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######","completion":" NTA. Had she not returned the items it would be theft. If she was scared because of the consequences of her actions maybe she’ll think twice next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17. \n\nFor the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.\n\nA bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said \"Ok but why not? She'll be legal.\" I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.\n\nSee the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.\n\nTed got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways. \n\nAITA??? ######","completion":" NTA. Guys who wait until girls are \"legal\" and then immediately pounce on them are creepy. It's so normalized too. When I was growing up there were countdown websites for the Olsen twins, Britney Spears too I think, and there were similar sites for Emma Watson, and I think Millie Bobby Brown already has websites dedicated to counting down her 18th birthday. This guy has been making comments to you about it for \"a while\" and who knows how long he was planning to it before that. \n\n\"Technically it's not illegal,\" is not something you want to hear when starting a relationship. And if this guy is \"ragging on women\" to you, when\/if your sister rejects him, do you really think he'll show more restraint and maturity? My guess is no. Your friend doesn't seem to take rejection well. And you seem to think rejection is pretty likely. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today. \nMy partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.\n\nHave I acted irrationally? ######","completion":" NTA. Guidelines were clear, they had to go when you were coming back. You've been keeping them up to date constantly. I love how they've been ignoring your calls so they can pretend they weren't informed. \nBut its your place you are listed on the lease not them. They need to go, you gave them ample time. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account.\n\nFor my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good. \n\nSoon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it. \n\nHonestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Grandma can shove that cake up her ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.\n\nEvery time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.\n\nSo the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.\n\nHe let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?\n\nEDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######","completion":" NTA. Gotta love that good old parenting when you teach your kids to lie and to never uphold your agreements ######"}
{"prompt":"Since last week my grandma starter complaining that my room is dirty and unorganized. I clean my room at least every other day but apparently for her it is too little. \n\nSo, a few days ago I decided to go for a walk at the local park only to come back to my keyboard being off, my rgb strip mostly off with some LEDs flashing on and off and some stuff missing from my desk (like USB sticks) . I decided to go and ask her what happened and she told me that she decided to clean my desk because it was too crowded and dirty. Also she told me to be careful because something shocked her when she tried to remove the water she dropped on my desk.\n\nI immediately rushed back to my setup and tipped my keyboard over only to see water dripping from it. I then went outside and told to never go into my room and didn't talk to her since.\n\nFYI The keyboard was the Corsair k95 which costs 250$ where I live. ######","completion":" NTA. Gosh I hate parents\/grandparents\/in-laws etc. etc. pulling this shit off. These toxic people need to learn to not to touch other people’s shit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.\n\nI'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.\n\nI was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the \"mother of the bride\" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.\n\nI didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying \"this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding\".\n\nMy sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.\n\nI was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?\n\nEdit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white\/eggshell\/cream is just as inappropriate. ######","completion":" NTA. Good sister 😊 \n\nI also find it *hilarious* that your dad is mad at both you and his wife. It's like he doesn't know who to blame so he's just blaming everyone 😂 ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory(short version): My dad has been a not very nice person from the start, while he was married to my mum he would often take “surfing trips” in which he would sleep with other women. For a while he was engaged to another woman while still married to my mum. I tried to keep a relationship with him not knowing of what he had done. Recently he wanted me to block a number of one of his ex-wives, she is a nice lady and we don’t have a problem with each other. So I politely said no I won’t as I had no reason to. He then sent the following message “You know the hell I went thro, just a bit of respect for your dad wouldn’t go amiss. Till you show that respect then please don’t contact me. You need to step up if you want to stay in touch. If you want to keep in contact with your brother then I suggest you go thro your mum to contact him” I then got angry and sent back a message of one word “ok”. I have not talked to him since. All I would like to know is what I did ok? He has treated me as I would always be there no matter how bad he would treat me. If need be I can provide evidence of the messages. ######","completion":" NTA. Good people don’t give their child ultimatums. No way. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,\n\nAlright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke. \n\nOnce I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well. \n\nWell, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside” \n\nBack when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here” \n\nSo now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out” \n\nEntirely logical in my opinion. \n\nTL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######","completion":" NTA. Good on you for sticking up for yourself (and your pets). I find it insane that a school would make you raise an actual animal at home, but it's horrible that your parents mistreated it and let it die. So not ok to go to someone's house and demand they change things, especially with how other living creatures are treated. It's the dog's house too, not your parents' ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M). \n\nOne of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical \"neckbeard\". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots \n\nHowever, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem. \n\nWell, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates. \n\nOne of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying \"I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone\" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore. \n\nHonestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice. \n\nI immediately snapped at Amy and said \"You're bullying him, and that's not cool\". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet. \n\nLater my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was \"only joking around and having fun\". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your friend, OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich. \n\nI thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed.\n\nShe came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me. \n\nThis is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######","completion":" NTA. Good luck with the cast iron — the *best* for grilled cheese sandwiches! Everyone’s fuses are short these days; but if it’s an ongoing thing, you need to discuss “feedback boundaries.” Feedback can’t just go one way — and in any case, it needs to be presented properly so that the recipient isn’t left feeling resentful and unsupported. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nSo I was in subway a few weeks ago and there was a small woman in there who made the mistake of saying \"a 3 inch sub please\" and these two builders started joking and making fun and she said \"please can you stop\" and they were like \"we were only joking , love!\" And I thought that was that, but a few moments later one of them started again saying \"a three inch is enough\" so I got angry at this point, and said **\"is that what you have to tell your wife every night\"** to the man and his friend started laughing like hell and the man got up, towered over me and said \"theres no need to be like that you fucking, bitch!\" I yelled back to him that he needed to leave her alone.\n\nI was then told to leave the subway as well as the 2 men.\n\nI'm a woman too and this girl looked visibly flustered and upset, I got angry. I told people what I said, they laughed but said I shouldn't have stepped in or been so rude. I hate verbal altercation and I felt a bit guilty for upsetting the dude afterwards, but I was so pissed off in that moment.\n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA. Good job on calling him out. You asked them to stop and they didn't. Don't feel guilty about causing a verbal altercation it was something that needed to be address as someone was uncomfortable with what they were saying. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter \"letters\" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.\n\nThe other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me \"letters\". My name is Colette.\n\nI told her: It's her nickname for you. \n\nColette: that's weird\n\nme:Do you not like being called \"letters\"\n\nColette: not really\n\nme:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.\n\nColette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.\n\nThat night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.\n\nThat last part pissed me off. I told her \"what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.\n\nAita for using that kind of language with my mil. ######","completion":" NTA. good for you for teaching your daughter to stand up for herself and for doubling down by standing up for her. MIL needs to apologize to the 5 year old for not respecting her name request. \n\nand no f* your MIL, you just dropped an f bomb and that’s alright. if you really feel bad about your language you could call her back to apologize for only that and  say that you thought it over and do not want her to see her grand daughter until she apologizes and respects your daughter wishes and boundaries. and that you don’t feel comfortable with someone who belittles a child! ######"}
{"prompt":"My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks. \n\nBut recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard. \n\nFor reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1\/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching. \n\nHe is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed. \n\nI want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######","completion":" NTA. Good fences make good neighbors. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call \"Dinah\". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake. \n\nAbout a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it. \n\nThen cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will \"never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying\". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.\n\nI've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was \"I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this\"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ######","completion":" NTA. Going to your parents with the texts was 100% the right thing to do. Many teenagers wouldn’t have the sense to tell their parents about something like this.\n\nThis doesn’t change anything but can you tell us more about the nature of the text messages? Were they just straight-up insults? ######"}
{"prompt":"It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything. \n\nBefore you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up). \n\nI live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail\/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######","completion":" NTA. God knows what they are doing with your grandmother... ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.\n\nI’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.\n\nAbout a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister. \n\nI found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.\n\nAITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?\n\nEdit:\n\n1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to. \n\n2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.\n\n3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited. \n\n4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ######","completion":" NTA. Go get yours and F them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandpa is an jerk. He has a swastika tattoo on his right shoulder. He hates my dad because 'he is not good enough for my mom', he is black and because he is a SAHD. He disowned my mom for 'marrying a monkey'. The only member of the family he likes is me, because I am 'his only legitimate heir' since I am white.\n\nI hate my grandpa. When I was younger, and he used to visit, he would always spout some anti-black, or anti-jew, or anti-Mexican propaganda. He would also loudly say how much he hated my 'monkey dad'.\n\nHowever he is a rich jerk. Idk exactly how much money he has, but he lives like a king. Since he disowned my parents, not a cent of the money found it's way to us. We are poor.\n\nHe just got diagnosed with cancer, and he will die in 9 months. I want to say 'good riddance and the world is a better place'. However, he announced that he is writing his will, and I want to be on it.\n\nMy plan is to visit him in the hospital everyday until he dies. I will listen to his stupid world views and racist comments. I will agree with him, and express my own hate (this will be a lie of course). I will talk BS about white supremacy, etc.\n\nThen I'll be in his will, and inherit a ton of money, which will pay for my college. I'll also give some to my parents.\n\nMy mom is all for it, but my is against it, saying he doesn't want me around that POS. \n\nTell me Reddit, WIBTA if I sucked up to my asshat grand sperm-doner to get into his will? ######","completion":" NTA. Go for it and earn some money. Yeah he is a piece of crap, but it's totally worth being around him every now and then for a slice of the pie. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ######","completion":" NTA. Gluten does not cause Type II Diabetes, long-term overconsumption of carbohydrates (which your body breaks down into *glucose*) does. Eating healthy is never a bad idea, but there is absolutely no reason to follow a gluten-free diet if it's not medically necessary. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. Giving him two months was a nice move. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend picked up chess recently. I have been a chess player all my life. Now my boyfriend isn't very good but he is improving. \n\nWe played a 10+0 rapid game online just like an hour ago and he absolutely destroyed me. Very suspicious. He was celebrating but I decided to check the analysis and it was 1-0-0. Basically he made 1 inaccuracy and zero mistakes or blunders during the game. He also somehow knew the mainline najdorf(a chess opening) quite deep. He might just have studied it but I personally find it very unlikely. I asked my bf if he cheated and he got very defensive and upset and said I should have some trust in him. I said I am not buying this, the najdorf is one of the sharpest openings in all of chess and its hard for GMs to get 1-0-0. He called me bitch and ended the call. \n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA. Given that everything is true, its virtually impossible that he didn't use some sort of bot\/engine. His claim is akin to a high school student claiming they wrote a best selling novel, sure its *possible,* but chances are <0.0001%.  Is your boyfriend competitive? I'm thinking he may be frustrated with constantly losing to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 12yo dog, very docile and friendly. I've been quite attached to him even more due to the fact that I lived through many hard times in life where my only companion was him. My friends and family couldn't care less for me during these periods.  \n\nA few years ago I begun to get involved with the person who's now my fiancee. When I realized that things would get serious I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I said \"Before you commit I have to warn you that my dog is extremely important to me. He sleeps in my bed and I care very much for him. You don't have to accept it, that's why I'm bringing this up before we get serious\". She gladly accepted.  \n\nA few months later she decided that it was unacceptable to have him on the bed. I reminded her that I warned her first, but we both agreed that when she's with me I'd let the dog sleep on another bed in other room and wash our bed sheets and stuff.  \n\nShe has this retroactive jealously and I find it quite difficult to live with. We discuss every two weeks because she wants to be the one focus of attention in my life. Now she's trying to 1 - compare her jealously with her having to accept my dog, as if one thing was compensating another, and 2 - trying to limit even the attention I give to my dog during any time of the day. Bare in mind that I'm not a very socially active person, my few friends are all men and I even work at home, so there's not even \"that girls from the office\" for her to complain.  \n\nAITA for not attending to her current demands and saying that's beyond too much? ######","completion":" NTA. Give an inch, take a mile. Word of advice, it is ALWAYS bad news when the partner dislikes the pet. Most animal haters would be upfront with their dislike OR would offer some kind of compromise.\n\nThis is a clue of what she will be like with everyone else that could 1 up her too. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end. \n\nI started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me. \n\nI understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care. \n\nMy friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date\/sleeping together? \n\nAITA for not telling him I don’t shave?\n\nTL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ######","completion":" NTA. girl, you dodged a bullet. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an artist and I found a following online. I'm starting to make some serious cash for what I do and it's been helping me save up so I can finally move out of my parent's place.\n\nDue to the quarentine, this has basically become my full time job which means I spend a large portion of the day in my room. I also work well into the night since there are fewer distractions, so I tend to sleep in until 10 each day.\n\nI don't neglect home responsablilties and I do come down for a few hours each day. However my mom wants me to be down as often as she is and wake up much earlier too. No matter how much I tell her about what I do she doesn't understand that I actually work, and that my success hinges on my output.\n\nShe says that I'm just neglecting her feelings. That I'm just using this art thing as an excuse to avoid her and be lazy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Get your mom into diamond painting and she will never bother you again. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.\n\nFor my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.\n\nAITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ######","completion":" NTA. Get your mom dollar store spaghetti noodles and your dad dollar store spaghetti sauce and hamburger for their birthdays. Tell them now you can have fresh spaghetti. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with a girl. I have two twin boys who are 2. With my older two, I didn't even think about whether I was going to breastfeed. They were born at 29 weeks, before the breast\/bottle conversation even happened with my doctor, and they had to spend 2.5 months in the ICU. My milk never even came in. \n\nI've been going back and forth on breastfeeding for the last few weeks, but I've settled on formula feeding. Taking care of three babies will be hard enough and I don't want to be tethered to my daughter every time she's hungry or be constantly pumping. I want my husband\/parents to be able to share the burden. I want to be able to go back to work and I don't want to breastfeed in public. I'm also already so uncomfortable and I just want my body to heal and to feel good again after the birth. I want to feel like I have full power over my body again.\n\nMy husband has largely stayed out of the decision because he doesn't want to pressure me. I have informed him that we're going to formula feed. My husband's father in particular has taken issue with my decision. He says that I'm being selfish to not even try and do a few feeds. He thinks my reasoning is superficial and that it's not fair that my husband\/all fathers don't have any say in what's healthiest for the baby. I know there are benefits to breastfeeding but I just don't want to try it. Am I the asshole for saying hell no to breastfeeding without any good reason for it? ######","completion":" NTA. Get your FIL a breast pump and tell him get started milking himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.\n\nOverall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.\n\nI feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ######","completion":" NTA. Get out, get out now. That narcissistic piece of trash will suck your soul out. You're already getting gaslighted and feeling guilty for something that is his fault. Run. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tonight my friends had a night of Dungeons and Dragons which quickly devolved into a night of drinking and hanging out. (Which is pretty usual)\n\nOne of my roommates invited over a new friend who she is romantically interested in, to play with us. Everyone was into it, myself included. \n\nDuring the character creation of the game you have to choose personality traits, which gives you an idea of who a character is. \n\nJack chose gay as a personality trait. That's it. Gay. Who they are? Gay. Their fault? Gay. Their bonds? Gay. \n\nEtc.\n\nWhen Jack announced this, a table full of my friends decided this was acceptable. This was totally normal to think about being gay. \n\nI was left feeling alone. I felt that everything that I am boiled down to a joke. That people only see me as gay. Everyone I trust and confide in, let alone live with, was alright with thinking that my sexual preference is completely acceptable as a personality. Nothing else to it. Just being gay. Nothing more.\n\nI went with it, but slowly steamed. The jokes rolled in. I steamed more. I made it clear that I am gay. No one said anything. \n\nAt the end of the night I announced loudly that I was angry at everyone there for just letting it slide, and that the joke was unacceptable. My life, and the recognition that people have fought for, is not a goddamn joke, and that I expected someone, ANYONE to mention it, but no one did. \n\nI immediately went to my room to sulk, which is where I am now. \n\nDid I overreact? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Gay jokes died in the 2000’s. It’s not funny. Your identity isn’t a joke, and I’m surprised your friends thought this was okay. I’m assuming Jack is the outsider, but even still. Your friends should have said something. But I do agree with the others that said you should have said something sooner. I mean, I can understand the frustration and wanting to see how far they’d let it slide. They should have known better, but I think they would have backed you up if you had told them it bothered you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tonight my friends had a night of Dungeons and Dragons which quickly devolved into a night of drinking and hanging out. (Which is pretty usual)\n\nOne of my roommates invited over a new friend who she is romantically interested in, to play with us. Everyone was into it, myself included. \n\nDuring the character creation of the game you have to choose personality traits, which gives you an idea of who a character is. \n\nJack chose gay as a personality trait. That's it. Gay. Who they are? Gay. Their fault? Gay. Their bonds? Gay. \n\nEtc.\n\nWhen Jack announced this, a table full of my friends decided this was acceptable. This was totally normal to think about being gay. \n\nI was left feeling alone. I felt that everything that I am boiled down to a joke. That people only see me as gay. Everyone I trust and confide in, let alone live with, was alright with thinking that my sexual preference is completely acceptable as a personality. Nothing else to it. Just being gay. Nothing more.\n\nI went with it, but slowly steamed. The jokes rolled in. I steamed more. I made it clear that I am gay. No one said anything. \n\nAt the end of the night I announced loudly that I was angry at everyone there for just letting it slide, and that the joke was unacceptable. My life, and the recognition that people have fought for, is not a goddamn joke, and that I expected someone, ANYONE to mention it, but no one did. \n\nI immediately went to my room to sulk, which is where I am now. \n\nDid I overreact? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Gay jokes are harmful. Especially these. They were being TA in this situation. It’s like if you said “girl” was your trait, and spent the whole night making jokes about staying in the kitchen, nagging, shopping, being boy crazy, or other stereotypes. I’m sure they would be like “dude what are you doing” ######"}
{"prompt":"We suck at money, and I’m really trying to get better about it. He has had a long week, we’re getting our stimulus money soon and he worked some OT last week, so when he asked if he could get a game, I said sure. He called me later and said the DLC he bought didn’t include everything recent, so he asked if he could get that too, and I said sure.\n\nI didn’t ask how much it was. I assumed (you know what happens then) that it would be maybe $100 total for both.\n\nI checked our bank account this morning and it was $350! I told him how much spending money we had TOGETHER this paycheck, and that is almost all of it. AITA for being upset about this, or is it my fault for not asking the amount? ######","completion":" NTA. Gamer here. Gaming is fun and admittedly, a very expensive hobby. However who in their right mind would buy a game and all the DLC when they arent in a financial situation capable to deal with it. You are completely right to be mad at him, and you were right to expect it would cost about 100 dollars with DLC. Who made the game, EA? ######"}
{"prompt":"My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213\/145).\n\nBack story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control.   We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.\n\nFast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195\/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication.  I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress.  She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home.  This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either. \n\nShe burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ######","completion":" NTA. Gambling with your health because medicine is uncomfortable is selfish and irresponsible, and FWIW, I’m someone that has to shove burning foam up my arse every other night, because it’s better I have a sore arse than my daughter doesn’t have a dad. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having an conversation with a friend and she was explaining to me how covid-19 has been really hard on her, and adding home schooling on top everything else just is the icing on top of it all. I made a brief comment how I’m so grateful I don’t have children at the moment.\n\nShe fucking lost it on me. \n\nI sympathize with her 100% but am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Fuck, do you want mine? ######"}
{"prompt":"I enjoy singing but I am VERY bad at it admittedly.  I have no pitch or tone but I like to sing alone in my room usually to songs or I’ll even do karaoke by myself I know I’m bad but I like doing it, it’s fun and a stress reliever. I moved in with an roommate a couple months ago and he hates my singing (I don’t blame him) but I was singing in my room a few weeks after moving in and he had asked me to stop and not to do it when he’s home, I said sure it seemed like a reasonable request although I don’t sing that loud. Well the other day I thought my roommate was out and was singing some karaoke in my room and didn’t think he’d be home for a couple of hours. He ended up coming back early with a couple of friends and they heard me singing (I’d didn’t hear them come in as I had headphones in). Well he actually sent them home and BLEW up on me saying that I embarrassed him with my terrible singing and that no one should be singing like that unless they’re a professional.  he also doesn’t want me singing at all in the apartment. I apologized and said I didn’t know that they would be home but he’s still mad at me. But I don’t really feel like TA here. What do you guys think AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Fuck that guy. He could have texted you or knocked on the door like a normal human being.\n\nKick him out and get a new roommate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright. So Joe is a friend of my friend Steven. Steven Joe and I have been talking lately, and Joe has somewhat become a friend. I’ve never met Joe in person, which becomes relevant. \n\nSo a bit of background. I’m legally blind from an accident that messed up my optic nerves. I can see some light and movement, but not much else. I use a lot of assistive tech to do basic stuff like post on reddit, and use my phone and computer in general. \n\nSo here comes the asshole bit: I’m on a voice call with Steven and Joe and we start talking about college. We’re all currently high schoolers. I mention a couple of concerns about being blind at college, and Joe freaks out. As it turns out, he didn’t know I’m legally blind. That’s fine, and he starts asking questions. A lot of them are basic ones that I’m used to, it’s fine. But then he asks if I should really go to college, or if I should wait and let someone who (his words) ‘will actually get something out of it’ take my spot. I took offense to that, considering my brain works mostly fine. After a couple of minutes, he not only didn’t apologize but doubled down. I left the call and blocked him. A couple minutes later Steven messaged me asking if I blocked Joe, since he wasn’t able to message me now. This whole convo was on discord, which shows a message when you’re blocked. I said yeah I blocked him because of the shit he said, Steven said I was being too harsh and Joe was just curious. I thought it’s somewhat reasonable. Now I don’t know what to think honestly. ######","completion":" NTA. Fuck Joe. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following \n\n-\tnigger\n-\tporch monkey\n-\thalf breed\n-\tmutt\n-\tjigaboo\n\nAnd not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ######","completion":" NTA. Fuck her and fuck your dad for allowing someone to speak to his child this way. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friends and I (all 20M) had plans to meet up for the first time in 2 months due to the restrictions being eased recently in my state and planned to meet in a park to kick a ball around and just catch up.   \n\n\nMy girlfriend (20M) of 3 years asked to come before and I said no because I wanted to spend some time with just my mates and I feel like there is a bit of a different dynamic with her being there. She began to get very upset but I still didnt invite her.  \n\n\nShe brought up that yesterday she invited me to see her 3 of her friends (they still saw each other regularly despite restrictions) which I did, we got along well and had a good time.  \n\n\nShe claims that I am embarrassed by her but I dont think that that's true I just dont think this is the type of event to invite her to as it's just a group of 6 of us who have all been friends for 7 years.  \n\n\nI told her I would apologise to her and try to make it up to her if I was wrong so reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. From my perspective,  you are not embarrassed. You want some time alone with your friends, period.  I think it's fair to say no, however I also believe it is important to explain to your GF the reason for saying NO. I don't see any problem, if you want to spend some time alone with your friends without your GF. Another point, are their GF's coming as well? ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.\n\nBut my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped. \n\nAnd my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.\n\nThey’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ######","completion":" NTA. Friendships are not necessarily forever, and you realized they are the type of people to not only make fun, but to ignore your requests to stop when you ask. \n\nSounds like you're outgrowing them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell. \n\nAs you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their \"so good for me\" and I \"would be crazy\" and a  \"asshole to let go of the friendship\". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.\n\nPersonally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ######","completion":" NTA. Friendship is built off trust. If they can't honor that, then they aren't a friend, period. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok my parents have started fostering kids and there is this one group they really want to keep but i dont. I know this sounds bad but hear me out. These kids are constantly putting stress on my parents by stealing there (AND ME AnD MY SISTERS) money getting up in the middle of the night to go outside and jump on our trampoline, constantly hitting each other and bullying my blood related brother, ect. And tbh my parents are never home so im stuck babysitting them and there are some days where i genuinley hate just looking at them. SO reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Fostering kids is great, but if your parents want to adopt, they need to consult the kids they already have. \n\nOtherwise it’s a recipe for resentment. ######"}
{"prompt":"Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short. \n\nBackground: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part. \n\nStory: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head. \n\nTHE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION. \n\nI IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like \"bruh chill,\" while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background. \n\nI don't accept. \n\nIt was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Forgiveness is earned. I’m sorry has no meaning without actions to back it ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a little fat, not a lot fat but a little fat. You can tell I’m a little fat, but I’m no porker. I’m also bulky, I work in construction and when I come home I’m hungry and just eat what makes me feel full. I can bench 450 so I’m not some fatass old guy drinking beer on the couch all day. \nMy wife works a programming job she’s been working from home for so I haven’t been working even though I’m “essential”. \n\nWhile I’ve been home my wife has been trying to limit me to what she calls 2000 calories a day. But what she gives me at dinner and calls 2000 calories is like a quarter of what I normally eat and I’m starving after. I’ve been mostly playing basketball and football with my son so it’s not like I’ve just been sitting around at home. I’ve also been working out some with what I have here, but it’s not as good as the gym.\n\nI’ve been sneaking in snacks while she’s not looking but she caught me eating some the other day and then when she went to the store she only got celery for snacks. I don’t want celery for a snack I want real food. Today I made dinner so I could finally have something filling and she got mad and said it was too much. I only made like half of what I normally eat. I finally got pissed and said I was going to eat what I wanted and she said she just wouldn’t get stuff I can cook then. I said I would go to the store and she said that I can’t or I’d be in deep shit.\n\nI feel like I should eat what I want. I’m a grown man not a toddler that needs to be watched over. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Forcing diets is not cool. It's okay if **you** plan on limiting your diet, but not cool for your wife to force you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for format, on mobile. \nI’ll try to keep it short. This has been an ongoing argument mostly between myself (19f) and my mom (50f). I want kids, but I don’t want to carry them myself. Part of my problem is that I’m having difficulty explaining EXACTLY why, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing with my body. I’m a lesbian, so eventually I’ll (hopefully) end up marrying another woman. When it comes to kids, I’ve said that either my future wife can be pregnant if she wants and it comfortable with it, or we can adopt. I am completely fine with either option, I’ll love my kid(s) all the same. Family is made by choice, not blood in my eyes. \n  My mom says this makes me self-centered and wimpy because I’m “expecting someone else to do all the hard work for me,” and “I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies\/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.” Also on her side, it means “I have no respect for anyone who gives birth.”\n  I feel like I’m living in the handmaid’s tale, she feels like I’m a self centered prick. Honestly she’s been railing against so much it’s just making me doubt myself and whether I’m really valid, because I do (as far as I know) have a perfectly functioning reproductive system, and some killer looks to pass down, so who am I to deny the world more? ######","completion":" NTA. For one thing it's entirely your choice, you shouldn't ever have to explain why you don't want to give birth. For another\n\n>I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies\/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.\n\nHow many kids are in the foster system? Pretty sure you personally are not taking all 400,000 kids away from every couple who can't have kids ######"}
{"prompt":"We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap. \n\nMy bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary. \n\nNow the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save. \n\nThis is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing\/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on. \n\nAITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings? \n\nTL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ######","completion":" NTA. For most people, \"I can't afford it\" means 'I don't have room in my budget', not 'I don't have a dime to my name'. Your boyfriend doesn't appreciate this because he's never truly had to budget. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend offered to buy my some food from a fast food place on his way home for lunch. I'm in the middle of my period and all I want in the world is curly fries.\n\nSo he get's home and says \"We have a situation. Your curly fries fell all over the floor in the back seat.\" He handed me the curly fries and went to do his own thing. I throw out the curly fries, because to me, when food falls on the floor, you throw it out. I'm not mad or anything, because accidents happen. \n\nThen he starts talking about how the curly fries are still okay and I say \"Woah woah woah, you expected me to eat floor food? I already threw them out.\"\n\nHe gets kinda pissed and tells me they were fine, and that he'd already eaten a couple. Then says I owe him $5 for the fries I \"wasted\". I begrudgingly give him the money but I'm pissed.\n\nTo be fair, he doesn't use the back seat of his car, so it's not like the floor was *filthy* per-say.\n\nSo, am I the asshole?\n\nEdit:\nHe didn't give me any indication that he wanted to eat them or that he thought they were good to eat  before I threw them out. If he had said he wanted them I would have been more than happy to give them to him. ######","completion":" Nta. Floor food is only OK based on the opinion of the eater. It's not like you got mad ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (25) and happily engaged to a wonderful women.\nI came out to my family last year and since then I was proposed to, I said yes horah.\nHowever my family are, to say the least deeply Conservative. Growing up they were excessively anti-LGBTQ+ which made coming out really hard, I made them a promise that I wouldn't post on social media about it until they were ready and to give them a heads up.\nIt's been almost a year and they stopped speaking to me other than to send me homophobic news articles. \n\nToday over pride month I wanted to tell my friends and cousins. To be honest and show my love, so I spoke to my cousins who expressed support like no other. And I wrote my post on Facebook to the wider audience.\nThen the phone calls from my immediate family came in, demanding I delete the post as I had promised them I'd ask first. My older sister told me she owed me nothing anymore and that my parents were going to kill themselves over it unless I deleted it immediately.\nThese people haven't spoken to me about how I feel, and about me coming out. They've refused to see me when I offer to fly home, saying I'm welcome in their house but not as a gay woman.\n\nI have refused to delete the post and everyone else is giving me the love and support I've needed this last year. My family have told me I've betrayed them.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. First you’re engaged to a woman, what were you not supposed to say anything until your wedding? We’re you just supposed to hide it? They’ve had a year to come to terms with it? Also they aren’t speaking to you? If you want to have a say in someone’s life (which is a whole other kettle of fish) you actually have to BE in your life. Live your life and proclaim your love. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential”  so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog. \n\n\nWhen Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer\/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals. \n\n\nSince moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2\/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.\n\n\nSam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice. \n\n\nI don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.\n\n\nWIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ######","completion":" NTA. First off, Sam lied about something majorly relevant to get you to offer them a place to stay. Second, it sounds like Sam is mistreating your pets. It may not be straight up animal abuse, but locking a cat in your room for no reason or putting a dog outside alone when you’ve been told this dog doesn’t handle that is not cool. Third, Sam is taking advantage if they are cutting back on hours and not seeking a job. I can understand that there may be good reasons for Sam to behave this way, but you can’t provide them free housing forever. \n\nThat said, I’d sit down and tell Sam I was considering ending the lease and give the reasons why before doing it. Perhaps you can work out a more agreeable compromise instead. If not, you should give Sam a month’s notice (or longer if required by the lease terms or the law where you are). I’d provide that even if not required so they at least have an opportunity to arrange for outside housing. ######"}
{"prompt":"To give some background. I (29m) was helped by Brian(68m) when I was down on my luck. After failing my last attempt at being a self sufficient person he gave me a job and paid me more than I should have been. Helped me go back to school and get a steady job in IT at the local community college.\n\nWe started a Nonprofit to help Veterans go back to school or get a job by teaching them basic computer skills. Most of our students were older so we also shifted to helping them access services available to them through the community or VA.\n\nAfter about 3 years of doing this without pay(we're a nonprofit and computers are expensive). I found out my father has cancer and asked if I could take a few months off to be with him. I was berated by him and told I couldn't stop. I blocked him and haven't spoken to him for about 6 months. I dont plan on returning. I left them high and dry because I did all the website design and grant searching. I left him the passwords to all accounts, but I did not find a replacement. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. First off, he gave you a job, not a gift. You worked for the money (even if overpaid) so you don’t owe on that front. \n\nWhen you’re a nonprofit you don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Especially when said hand is spending time with their FATHER WHO HAS CANCER. But do keep in mind that if the nonprofit suffers, so do it’s beneficiaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was at the store and there was a family in front of me. They were short $20 and were about to put groceries back. I felt bad for their kids who looked at their dad who had to decide whether or not to put back the bread or cheese.To me, $20 is nothing so I told the cashier I would pay. I did not know the woman behind me was recording and she posted it on social media. Someone recognized me and tipped me off. I DM'd the woman who posted the video and asked her to take it down because I don't want the attention. You can clearly see my face and the name of the company that I work for on my polo shirt. I also didn't want people to think this was some sort of stunt. I know a lot of people pull fake \"charity\" for attention. She refused so I contacted the social media company's admin and they took it down for me. ######","completion":" NTA. First of all, recording a stranger without their knowledge or consent, even out in public, and posting it on your social media is rude and inappropriate. No one should have their everyday activities publicized if they don't want to.\n\nAlso, the fact that the woman who recorded you didn't say anything at the time and refused to take down the video once she knew you were uncomfortable shows that she doesn't actually care about your kindness, she just wants to exploit it for attention on social media. If she wants to use good deeds for attention, the very least she could do is actually perform any herself.\n\nYour desire for privacy and to be modest about your kindness supercedes her desire for \"likes\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Let me start of by saying that for those who don’t know the history of the swastika, it has been used in India by Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains for thousands of years as a sacred symbol before it was appropriated by the Nazis for their evil genocidal agenda. As a result, most portraits of Hindu gods and goddesses, a few of which I have hung up in my apartment (I am a Hindu) contain images of the swastika. An acquaintance of mine (not close) entered my apartment a few days ago and seemed shocked: he first accused me of being a Nazi sympathizer! Needless to say, I disabused him of this notion and told him about the history of the symbol in Indian culture. He then told me that I ought to cover up the swastika symbols on my posters because since the Nazis have used the symbol, it is no longer appropriate to display, but I think this is entirely the wrong approach: refusing to display a symbol sacred in my culture for thousands of years because the Nazis used it would be like letting them win. He then said I was being very insensitive and called me a pretentious asshole for expecting everyone to know the history of the swastika. If you go to India, you will see the swastika everywhere and needless to say, the people who display it are not Nazi sympathizers. However, I also know that cultural standards in the US are different from in India and have no desire to be an asshole or pretentious. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. First of all, it's in your apartment so you have the right to display whatever you want to. Secondly, it sounds like the symbol is within a context where it is clear what sense it is being used in. It's not your job to censor your own culture because of something another culture did. I think the sad truth is that many Americans will not know about the history of the symbol, so some people may be surprised when they first see it but that is their opportunity to learn. This person's reaction was out of line. ######"}
{"prompt":"For clarity, I live in the UK. In the UK we are allowed to apply for five universities based on predicted grades, then narrow it down to two later on depending on your offers. If you meet the required grades for those offers, then you choose the university.\nI'm at the phase just before applying. I've been lucky enough to get the predicted grades to apply wherever I want. The problem comes with outside influence. I want particularly to go to a specific uni in Scotland; the buildings and town and course all seem like exactly what I want. Truly, this place is WONDERFUL and I haven't seen any information that would prevent me for choosing it. Also, the distance would allow me to remove myself from toxic friends and mean I don't have to listen to four siblings and two parents yelling at each other whilst I work. \n However, my parents don't want me to apply at all. I live in London so whenever I mention this university they always talk about how selfish I am for wanting to move so far away, how I'd be throwing my future away and how I'm severly limiting myself. Furthermore, I'd like to add that the universities they want me to apply to has the exact same grade requirements as where I want to go, but it has more 'reputation'. They're also all in commuting distance of my house. I haven't said that I wouldn't apply to my parents choice, but I know if I get in it will basically be constant pressure until I accept. \nI've assured my family that I'll come home in the holidays, that I'll facetime them all the time and that I find the course there really fascinating, but they refuse to listen.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. First of all, congrats on the predicted grades! \n\nI left my family in another country to go to the University I wanted. Looking back, I now see there were other options I didn’t really consider at the time because I had my heart set on that Uni. I don’t regret it though, because it was my choice and I really really wanted it at the time.\n\nIf my family had made me stay, I would always feel like I missed out on something. You are NTA, you need to do what you want because it’s your future, and your family should be supportive. ######"}
{"prompt":"i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go. \ni don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point.. \nthey were not planning to pay me either. \ni’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ######","completion":" NTA. First if they want you to, some one has got to pay you I don't care if it is their friends' kids. Second, you need to have met the kids first because as a kindergarten teacher I can tell you it is not easy to monitor kids before you know them properly. ######"}
{"prompt":"So if the name didn’t give enough explanation, here is some back story. My brother is slightly special needs. Nothing major. He mainly acts younger than his age. There may be some mental stuff there but my parents never told me about any. \n\nAnyways, my brother loves fire alarms. He plays with them like toys, constantly plays with the ones in the house, buys some for play use etc. These are completely real fire alarms mind you. My parents are completely okay with this and buy him more and more constantly. He has over 50 now. \n\nI personally hate this. I am the only other sibling and having to hear alarms constantly (any time of the day. Morning, night, etc. if I had a dime for every time I’ve woken up at 5am because of it, I’d be rich) is not only incredibly annoying but dangerous as well. My family has become desensitized to fire alarms since they always assume it’s him now. \n\nPretty regularly I get angry about this whole thing and try talking to my mom about it. She usually ignores me or gets angry saying how I don’t have a right to dislike his interest\/think they should get rid of them. They say I’m incredibly rude for thinking it needs to stop since it’s what he likes. Because of his special needs, I’m wondering if I am rude to think he should stop what he likes. However, I feel like my feelings are completely justified. What do you all think? Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Fire alarms are lifesaving tools, your mom should've taught him that they are not toys. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to hear them constantly, but it's incredibly dangerous too. ######"}
{"prompt":"First post here and I know the title is ridiculous but I’m being yelled at for it by my roommates.\n\nMost of the time we’ve all lived together, we have ordered out. We have had a few home cooked meals. And earlier tonight was one of those times. They made me do the dishes used to cook the food, which I was ok with.\n\nBut they tried making me do their dishes and our friends that were over dishes and tried to say they do that for me all the time which is not true bc I haven’t forgotten to wash them once.\n\nI know this is a silly thing but like I mtired of being ridiculed and yelled at for things that only my roommates do and they know it.\n\nAITA for not wanting to keep doing others dishes they purposely leave and try to make me do? ######","completion":" NTA. Find better roommates. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's a relatively short story but tldr at bottom.\n\nMy partner and I were watching TV together when an advertisement for a sports show with a female presenter came on. I jokingly said 'no-one cares' and flicked to a different channel, though my partner adds to my comment; \"Yeah, if anyone did care, they'd have the budget to get someone more attractive than her.\"\n\nI was pretty upset with the comment and I mentioned to him that she could actually be really good at what she does, thus why they opted to have her as the presenter. I also mentioned that the male presenter on that same show wasn't exactly the most attractive man in the world but doesn't get the same sorta comments about getting someone more attractive than him on the show. \n\nI feel bad because I made my partner feel incredibly guilty, but as a woman, I know I don't want my self worth and what I'm capable of to be judged by how I look. \n\nAITA for getting upset over this?\n\nTL;dr - bf mentioned a how a female presenter could be replaced by someone more attractive if the show had more viewers and I disagree. ######","completion":" NTA. Feeling guilty is an appropriate response to saying something rude and sexist. Talk it out. Healthy emotions should be felt, not avoided. ######"}
{"prompt":"My little brother is a teenager, thinks he's going on 21. Unfortunately he's also trying to come off as a hard ass and also for the ladies, a sensitive young man, \"a nice guy\". That's not a problem, but he also is very stupid about what he posts to social media. Cringy Tik Toks, and the like. About being a bad ass \"nice guy\". \n\nAfter being warned again, he puts some cringy shit on his story, and we all bring it to the family group chat. (This is not exclusively him, I've been the butt of jokes as well do to a nerdy tattoo for example, we all have). We just kinda sibling teased him,  the usual  \"get your shit together, you're gonna hate yourself later for this\" and he got PISSED. We get along 98% of the time, have a good relationship with all of us, he thinks of them as siblings as well (he's said in his own words.) \n\nHe snapped me in private, ranting about how I should be defending him because we are blood related and my stepsiblings aren't. He says I'm a shitty sister for taking their side on this, and he can't understand why the hell I don't defend him and I'm supposed to love him more because we are fully related. \n\nI just said along the lines of \"I love all of you equally, and while it's a different type of love, I still think you're being stupid and need to be called out.\"  He's raging at me now, and mom my agrees with him. Im supposed support him more and defend him just because he's my full brother, no matter what, according to her. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Family relations shouldn't determine what side you take and you shouldnt be manipulated to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is having her high school graduation parade soon instead of the normal graduation due to coronavirus. Our school requires us to wear black under our gowns. She already has a black dress that fits her just fine. I have a black dress that I bought specifically for graduation last year. My sister and my mom want my sister to wear my dress instead of the one she already has. \n\nI suppose it may seem petty but I don’t really want to let her wear it if she already has something to wear and you won’t see the difference under a gown anyway. Normally I let my sister borrow stuff from my closet (she’s even worn a dress I bought for myself for homecoming before I got to wear it). The dress just means a lot to me because my grandma picked it out. I wear it for many special occasions and even interviews- it’s like a lucky dress. I want to be nice because of everything she’s going through because of coronavirus but she has been online shopping this entire pandemic and could have bought her own dress if she didn’t like the one she already has. \n\nPlease advise. Thanks. ######","completion":" NTA. Explain you your Mom and Sister exactly how you said it here. I am sure they will understand the sentiment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I haven’t worn a bra in like 3 years, I’m only a B cup and I just find them uncomfortable. It’s not like I’m wearing see through shirts or anything but I guess yeah if you look you can see the outline of my nipple.\n\nI’ve been working at this job for almost two years and it’s never been an issue but yesterday an older coworker approached me and asked if I could start wearing a bra to work because she doesn’t like me “throwing my body around”. I basically told her yeah sorry but no, I don’t even own a bra and it’s not part of dress code from what I’ve ever noticed.\n\nShe huffed and walked off but now I’m about to head into my shift today and I’m getting anxious on if I’m in the wrong here. AITA for not wearing bras? ######","completion":" NTA. Existing in your body does not constitute \"throwing it around\", your coworker sounds like a puritan who doesn't understand she can just avert her eyes instead of forcing other people to subscribe to her precise way of existing. Fuck her. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSoooo, due to Covid I’ve been furloughed since March and am still hanging on on until I’m called back in for duty.  A huge side effect of this has been on my sleep pattern.  I’ve fallen out of my pattern and I’m just not sleepy at 10pm like I was when I was working full time.  \n\nDuring this I’ve effectively become a housewife. I do all the cleaning, cooking and laundry.  Im absolutely fine with that, but these chores take up a fraction of my day.  \n\nI’m bored out of my mind and it is making me restless, anxious and definitely out of sorts.  I’m having major sleep issues that are starting to create issues with my other half.  \n\nHe’s a snorer, a grinder of teeth and a fidgeter.  I get so annoyed in bed that I’ve started to sleep in the spare room on a regular basis. It’s the only way I can get space and relax.  \n\nThese are not new issues.  He’s obviously always done this but now that he drops off before me I can’t tolerate it. Previously my sleep was deeper because I was tired.  \n\nHe’s now starting to get very annoyed that I’m not sleeping in our bed.  I often start the night there and move in the night.  I’ve tried to explain that I’m finding it difficult but I know he’s angry every time he wakes to find I’ve gone to the other room.  \n\nIt’s starting to affect our relationship now as I think he feels neglected. ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone’s nerves are pretty fried these days. \n\nTry sleeping with a fan on or a white noise app. I can’t sleep with anyone else in the room without white noise. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the \"quiet\" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command \"quiet\" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.  \n\n\nMy da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the \"quiet\" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they \"can't\" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone should teach their dogs this basic command. It goes right along with “sit,” “stay,” “lie down,” “no,” and how to not jump up on people. Usually people who don’t take the time to work with their dogs on these commands have annoying, insufferable dogs that can’t be taken anywhere (or conversely, why no one would want to come over). He’s wrong on every facet.\n\nEdit: Like someone else said, keep up the good work. It’s great mental stimulation for your doggo, too. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19m) am living at home with my parents right now because of my campus's closing and have no real expenses while quarantined since they pay for most of our food, and my brother (25m) is home from medical school now too. I am making a fair amount of money tutoring students remotely over the summer, and I was told today by my mom and dad today that I should give my brother the money I'm making to help him pay down some of his undergrad student loans.\n\nTheir argument is as follows. His undergrad cost a lot because his school was private, but mine cost very little because mine was public. His med school finances are a separate issue. Basically, if it wasn't for his \"mistake\" of taking on so much debt first, I wouldn't have known to make the smart choice of saving myself from it.\n\nTo be clear, my brother has helped me to pay for things like a car and a computer, but I have paid him back each time. He has helped me out when he did not have to do so before, then, but it seems like I'm being punished ultimately for making a better choice early on. I think my parents really want to help fix his problems, and I think he is pretty nervous about money himself, but I don't understand it to be my moral obligation to support him. Furthermore, I did not enjoy the perks that he did from going to a more expensive school.\n\nSo finally, I told them I would not give him the money that I am making this summer. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone knows private school is more expensive and HE'S GOING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. He will be able to pay off his loans once he gets into practice. If he's concerned about money, he can specialize. \n\nThe fact that *anyone* asked you to contribute is beyond the pale. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.\n\nLast week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.\n\nThis morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone is an adult here, no need to force your sons to do anything. You’re not the asshole for not supporting your daughter either. She and her fiancé don’t sound to be in any position to try for a second kid. If the daughter was so upset, she’d get over herself, realize she was being selfish, and both of you could try to mend that relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll keep this short as possible.\nGoing into my 40's and the idea of having another kid at this time is NOT on my agenda. My gf of 3yrs and I have a beautiful 2yr old. Life happened and she came to the world unexpectedly. Ive been all in and been there for everything. I love my daughter like ive never thought id love someone so small. \nHowever, she wants another kid knowing well that I do not. We've talked about it and I made my point loud and clear that I do NOT want another child. \nThis was about six months ago. Recently, she's been bringing the subject up again, saying how her fam wants us to have another child and guilt trips me about it. She says that our baby is going to grow up alone and no one to talk to. Some family and friends have joined in as well, saying I'm being selfish and I'm keeping her from experiencing having a sibling. I reply that she has cousins and she'll have friends, so I'm not worried. \nI've also been thinking of getting a vasectomy lately. Why? Because I don't want more kids.\n\nAn I the asshole for refusing to have a second child? \n\n(Writing this on my 10min break. Sorry for the grammer) ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone else voicing their opinions and guilt tripping you can STFU. This is just as much your choice as it is hers. If you aren't willing to have another child, its honestly better you don't. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because my family members use reddit.\n\nI (13F) finally got my own room after years of having to share it with my sister (10F). From the age of 5 to 11, I had to share a room with her, and it was awful. She would take my stuff and throw it on the ground, this caused my mother to think I was creating the messes. This would cause me to be yelled at and forced to stay in my room all day cleaning it up. When I was 12, we moved, where I had to share a smaller room with her.\n\nNot even a week moving in, my sister created a huge mess. At that point, I said \"screw it\" and started sleeping on the couch, as I did not want to deal with her. Eventually, after I turned 13, we moved again, this time, it was just my mother and I who moved. My two older siblings went to live with their father, and my little sister went to live with her father. I finally have my own room, I keep it clean and tidy.\n\nBecause of the virus, my sister has been living with us because her father doesn't have a computer to do schoolwork. She is still as messy as ever, and I told her she cannot go into my room unless I say she can. This is mostly because I don't want her to make a mess that I have to clean up. Her messes are awful too, one time we found ants in our room because she left food out. Even still, when she comes into my room, she leaves her trash everywhere.\n\nMy mother thinks that I'm being unfair to my sister. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Everyone deserves privacy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) was on the phone with my grandma and she was telling me how she has a weasel\/ferret animal holed up in her stable, and she needs to call an exterminator. \n\nShe lives in a different country and we were speaking a different language. The world for the animal doesn’t have a direct translation, but it sounds like “co*n”.\n\nI asked her,(not in English) “So when do you think the extermination will come for the *koona*” (that’s roughly how the word is pronounced. \n\nI was in my room but I went out to the kitchen to make tea when I said that sentenced. My English speaking roommate looked at me funny but I didn’t think much of it. \n\nI went back out and she said, “You shouldn’t say slurs like that. It’s not your word to say and I thought you knew better.” \n\nI look at her, still very lost. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t even speaking English, you don’t even know what I said.”\n\nShe explained what she thought I said, and told me it’s very insensitive that I throw that word around. \n\nSo I tell her, “I didn’t say that word. What I said was weasel. Why would I randomly switch to English and say a racial slur to my grandma?” \n\nShe doesn’t let up, and proceeds to call me insensitive and that I need to learn to be more politically correct. \n\nI tell her, “Just because words sound similar, it doesn’t mean I said what you think. My word, which means weasel, also has a different ending. Can we drop this conversation?” \n\nShe doesn’t say anything else and we both went to our separate rooms. AITA for how I handled it? ######","completion":" NTA. Every slur in English probably has an equivalent sounding word in another language that means something entirely different.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI assume that it also works the other way around. I'm sure that there are harmless English words that are the worst swear words imaginable in other languages.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThey might mean well, but they need to be exposed to other cultures. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.\nK: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other \nMe: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women\nK: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like? \nMe: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.\nK: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend” \n*i explain* \n\n2 days later \nK: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.\nMe: yes I did is there a problem? \nK: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her\nMe: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt \nK: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school \n\nI feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ######","completion":" NTA. Even though I have to admit it is a difficult situation. She is your friend , you have a girlfriend , she was bound to find out eventually. (if not through you , probably through sex ed. Or being out in public even.) I think it would’ve been a bigger shock if she would’ve seen you and your girlfriend together and for example share a kiss or something? I assume her parents are strictly religious? I think you can not shelter your kid from life like that and just not talk about gay people and pretend “we aren’t real”. \n\nMe and my partner are both male , he came from a very sheltered religious family. He didn’t know what being gay even meant or that it existed , still he knew he was even if no one talked about it. \n\nI feel bad for your friend because of that. No matter what her sexuality might be... I think her parents are emotionally abusive. I’ve seen the damage it can do because of my partner. You were just being yourself don’t feel guilty for that please! I hope you opened your friend’s eyes in a way... Love is important no matter in what form. I hope she learned that lesson because of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, throwaway because my boyfriend knows my other account. \n\nI (23f) moved in with my boyfriend (24m) of two years a couple months ago. We haven’t had any problems before this argument. Things had been going pretty well. \n\nAnyways, a couple days ago, I got my period. It came early and I had ran out of pads. I couldn’t leave to buy some because I bleed pretty heavily and I would’ve bled through my pants. So I asked my boyfriend if he could buy pads for me from the drugstore, because it was late. He immediately said no. I was shocked because I wasn’t really expecting that. \n\nI asked him why. He said that he didn’t want the cashier to see him buying pads. At this point I started laughing because that was hilarious. He wasn’t joking though. He just glared at me. I told him that the cashier would obviously know it wasn’t for him. Plus, the cashier would definitely not care what he was buying. He still refused. I told him that he could go to the self checkout machine if he was so insecure, but he said that he didn’t want anyone to see him with the pads because they’d think he was a “tr***y”. I told him that he was childish, and that his masculinity was really fragile if he couldn’t even buy pads for his own girlfriend. He got mad and went out. I had to bunch up toilet paper as a makeshift pad, wear black pants and a long cardigan and go buy the pads myself. My boyfriend has been ignoring me ever since. I’ve been thinking that maybe I might’ve pushed it too far.\n\nSo AITA for telling my boyfriend that his masculinity was fragile after he refused to buy pads for me? ######","completion":" NTA. Even my aunts 11 year old son who didn’t even know much about anything at that age went to buy her pads once. She forgot to restock and then couldn’t get up because of terrible, excruciating cramps so as soon as she said she needed some female hygiene products for her period, the kid misunderstood a bit, stormed out, stormed into the drug store and basically yelled “help! I need to buy mom some pads because she’s bleeding and if I don’t bring her pads she’ll die!” \n\nWe laugh about it at every family gathering to this day. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, here's the story. My grandparents have 5 grandkids. Me and my younger brother and my 3 cousins who are siblings. The eldest cousin, we will call him Johnny \\[30\\], is a bit of a jerk. Since puberty, he has sort of blown off my family, never really came around for events - birthdays, holidays, etc. Even when he is there, he just sort of does his own thing and cuts out early.\n\nAnyways, my grandparents are fed up with him and his attitude. He's not a bad person, just more interested in his friends \/ hobbies than his extended family. My grandparents are getting up there in age \\[late 80s\\] and decided to dole out inheritance money for the 5 kids grandkids - 10k each! However, Johnny isn't getting any, because they feel like he never cared about them or our family. \n\nNow this is when it gets complicated. Johnny is a bit of an \"alpha\" personality and he's convinced his younger siblings \\[26 and 21\\] DON'T accept the 10k from our grandparents because they're just giving it to them in spite of him, to show that they don't like him and he's the black sheep of the family. \n\nJohnny is now texting my brother \\[25\\] the same thing, who is easily manipulated and trying to decide if he's going to go along with his cousins and not take the money. Johnny hasn't spoken to me yet, probably because he knows I will tell him to take a hike.\n\nI for one will be taking the money because Johnny is a jerk. I agree our grandparents tend to be petty and this act is probably more to prove a point, but why would I deny myself my inheritance?\n\nSo anyways, Johnny is not getting an inheritance, his siblings supposedly are not accepting it and my brother may not be either. But I am happily taking it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Even if your grandparents aren’t being fair to Johnny, what kind of jerk tries to stop everyone else from getting something just because he isn’t getting anything? No way would I want to stop my siblings or cousins from taking money that could help them out a lot. \n\nThere’s a BIG difference between “it hurts than gran and gramps left me out” and “if I’m left out, none of y’all should get any either and I’m going to try to manipulate you into turning it down”. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.\n\n\nSo I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.\n\nI usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding\/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.\n\nSo husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.\n\nI asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing. \n\nAnd that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”\n\nNow I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you weren’t pregnant, that’s an asshole response, but it’s extra terrible because you are pregnant. \nIs he one of those guys who thinks pregnancy hormones are an excuse and not legitimate? His response immediately makes me think he might be trash. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since my (28M) gym closed a few months ago, I've developed a pretty well-stocked home gym in my garage. The only problem is my garage is terribly lit, dim, and depressing. I've been working out with the door open for natural light, usually early in the mornings when nobody's out.\n\nYesterday I slept in pretty late, and only got to working out at 11. 15 minutes in, my neighbor who was doing gardening work across the street yelled over that I should \"quit showing off\"\n\nI put on a tank top (I'd just been wearing leggings up to that point) and partially closed the garage door, but she sighed and shook her head on and off until she went inside.\n\nAITA here? I was behind a bookshelf most of the time and I didn't think she'd see me. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you were showing off, which it doesn't seem like, you aren't doing anything inappropriate and you're doing it in your own house. Your neighbor needs to mind their business. ######"}
{"prompt":" We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.\n\nMy GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning. \n\nI have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.\n\nSo the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.\n\nHer reasons for:\n\n* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain\n* GF is stressed &amp; tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing\n* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference\n* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)\n\nMy reason:\n\n* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage\n\nWe kind of agreed to continue the conversation  in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you were a professional masseuse you can deny clients for any reason. \n\nYou give your GF massages at your discretion, and it's inappropriate for her to pressure you to do something you feel uncomfortable with. If she feels tired she's free to refuse to massage her sister. \n\nAlso pregnancy is not a free-pass to be catered to. The sister is free to pay for a massage or soak her feet or take a long bath to alleviate any soreness pregnancy might have on her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F19) had an argument with my step mom and dad the other night. It wasn’t related to my clothing but because of the argument, my step mom started listing off things the doesn’t like that I’ve been doing. \nOne of those things, the thing I believe is unreasonably at best and highly misogynistic at worst, is that I need to be dressing more modestly around the house. She “hates to see my ass and tits hanging out all the time”.  She also said “I don’t know why you dress like that around your father.” Which I find to be disgusting. So let’s break it down..\n•She is 15 weeks pregnant \n•She does not leave her room EVER (which I understand because I’m a mom too)\n•I have been living here three weeks and neither of my parents have complained until now about ANYTHING. \n•I have followed all of the rules they bothered to tell me upon moving in.\n•I paid rent on time plus groceries which was nearly half of my monthly paycheck.\n\nShe and I have butt heads before because I am an atheist and she is Mormon. They want me to come to church, I refuse. They want to teach my toddler daughter about God, I refuse. So the relationship there is already unsteady. \nI told her that she obviously has a lot of internalized misogyny to try and slut shame me over my clothes. She thinks I need to apologize for saying that and now my dad is accusing me of ruining their marriage. \nBut the way I see it, she refuses to accept me for who I am, she doesn’t respect my beliefs the way I’ve respected hers, and now she’s telling me that I have no self-respect because of the way I dress. I feel as though she owes me an apology. I just made her a birthday cake from scratch and and homemade frosting because the canned stuff makes her sick. I thought we’d bond more now that she’s pregnant and we had something in common. But I suppose not. \nI’m truly hurt by what she said and I’m hurt that my dad is blaming me for her being angry with him. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you live in her home, your stepmother has no right to say what you should and shouldn't use. You can use whatever you want.\n\nShe who needs to apologize to you and start respecting your decisions.\n\nAnd you must go to live somewhere else far from it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.\n\nMy Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.\n\nThrough a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.\n\nOur mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. Even if you had been dating you wouldn't have owed her anything ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, I'll try to keep this short.\n\nI'm a digital artist and graphic designer. I've mostly done it for fun until recently, when a peer wanted to commission a piece. This led to a small wave of commissions, which has been great. No issues with what I charge and it's gone smoothly. \n\nIt was suggested that I try to get more visibility in our local drag scene, because there's a demand for art and graphic design and they also like to commission locally. To do this, I offered a peer who is active in the drag scene a buy-one-get-one deal. They pay for one piece (for one of their drag personas) and I would do a second logo design for free.\n\nWell, I finished the first one. They loved it but when it came time for payment, they were dodgy and hard to contact. It ultimately took them two months to finally pay me. During those two months, though, they used the image in multiple places (mostly with no credit to me at all). I even found out through a friend that they made prints of it as an auction item without talking to me or crediting me. Again, this was all before I was even paid.\n\nI understand that I am definitely a naive idiot for not protecting myself. There is no contract regarding terms of use and I was stupid enough to send them the art with no watermark before getting any kind of payment. That's on me, I guess. Lesson fully learned.\n\nBut regardless, they were someone I thought of as a friend and I feel very used. They're now pestering me for the free second design. WIBTA if I say no? My friends and SO are emphatically telling me not to give them free art, but I feel bad, since I did technically offer it. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you didn’t have them sign a terms of use or add a watermark, they knew what they were doing was wrong. Just tell them they got enough free use of the first piece before they paid you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my father has drinking problems - he has been getting drunk every day for 10 years. As his drinking got worse, he had to close his small business and now works as a secretary for a smaller wage. Everything he earns goes on alcohol and smoking and so does my mom's money which she gives him to drink. \n\nUntil I have moved out, they have lived entirely on my monthly scholarship which is less than 250 euros and expected me to pay bills and buy them food after wasting their money on this addiction (mom never drinks, but refuses to break up). After I moved out, mom had emotional meltdowns every day. Now that I am jobless, I have to live again with them. Since she had no money to pay the bills, the municipality has threatened to cut the electricity off. It's very unsure whether I will live here for 1 more month or 12 more months. I may pay the bills this month because I need Internet connection to attend college, but can I live this life forever? Can THEY live this life forever, avoiding being responsible humans? I have talked to them several times, but it leads to nothing. They have a very fatalistic view on life and think everything is meant to be this way because it's their destiny.\n\n She thinks the same as most people her age in my country, that children, regardless of age, have to give parents financial aid because they have raised them for so many years. If my parents were jobless I would gladly give them financial aid, but since they work and spend father decides to be an alcoholic and my mom sacrifices her needs for my amazing father, it angers me that they choose to avoid their responsibilities and expect me to be their saviour my entire life. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you did give your mom for bills, she would most likely give it to your dad. They need to grow up! They are very irresponsible especially your mom. The reason why I say your mom is because instead of using her money to pay bills, she willingly gives it to your dad. I’m not blaming your mom for dad being an alcoholic but she is his enabler when she gives him money for his vices. Your mom could benefit from counseling and possibly financial literacy help. It’s not your job to be their savior. If anything they should be helping you right now, not the other way around! ######"}
{"prompt":"Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.\n\nJudging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if you choose to repair this relationship it will be on your terms, not his. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older brother's (23M) GF, Linda (24F) has been living with us since November after her parents kicked her out. She's really nice and we normally get along. She's a huge fashion girl and wears the most beautiful clothes, and she's been a great help for fashion advice. \n\nMe (17F) and my younger brother and sister (13F) and (11F) were playing football out in the garden, and Linda was hanging out there too. As usual she was dressed her best. The ball ended up near her and I asked her to kick it back but she was wearing designer shoes. \n\n''I'm not touching that thing with my shoes'' she said. \n\nThe ball was not dirty at all and I thought she was being silly, so I called her a diva and said tapping a ball wouldn't ruin her shoes. She just gave me a look and went inside, and later my brother had a go at me for being ''nasty'' to Linda. \n\nHow was that nasty? I asked her to tap the ball which wasn't dirty back to me. It wouldn't have done anything to her shoes. I don't see why she made such a fuss and was being a diva about it. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if she didn't want to kick it with her shoes she could have thrown it back, taken her shoe off and kicked it, or even hit with something that wasn't around her she was being a diva ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been dating Jesse for six months and for the most part things are going good. Sometimes I worry that our personalities are too different, but for now I'm happy. My sister got married last weekend at our parents beach house. It was just immediate family and Jesse and I were planning on staying at the house. \n\nJesse and my dad don't really click. My dad is very much a man's man and just doesn't have much in common with Jesse. While we were there my mom was saying that she is so glad she convinced my dad to trade the lake house we used to have for the beach house, and we were all talking about how isolated and creepy the lake house was. My sister brought up one time when we were in high school and my dad said he had a work emergency and had to go help his business partner out, but he actually just took his car up the road a bit.\n\nSo the three of us thought we were alone and he came back about thirty minutes later with a Michael Meyers mask (my mom hates that movie) and scared the fuck out of us. I mean it wasn't funny in the moment but all three of us laughed afterwards. Jesse said that is fucked up and kind of mental abuse. My mom got angry and I don't blame her because abuse is a serious word to throw around. Jesse continued to fight with my parents about the actual definition of abuse and then my sister called him a pussy. My dad ended up throwing him out, but I stayed. I was tired, I thought he was in the wrong, and I didn't want to go to a hotel. Now Jesse is mad at me for staying somewhere he wasn't welcome. ######","completion":" NTA. Even if Jesse finds the joke distasteful, it’s not his business to confront your parents like that. If he really is concerned, he could’ve waited til you two were in private and discuss. He was out of line. \n\nInfo: how old are you two? ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies. \n\nMy friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine. \n\nSo one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.”\n\nMy friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!”\n\nHonestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.”\n\nAfter I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat. \n\nSo yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog. \n\nTl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ######","completion":" NTA. Even a fully licensed service dog can get kicked out of places for being aggressive. Growling is an aggressive move. If she can't train the dog and socialize it better, then she will have to get used to being booted from stores and such. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout. \n\nI went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was\/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments. \n\nI haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ######","completion":" NTA. especially after that racist tik tok that went viral, there's no excuse at this point for being publically bigoted. he knew the consequences. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick things to remember \n •pregnant girlfriend  \n•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.  \n•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible\n\n  I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ######","completion":" NTA. Entitled grandparents piss me the hell off. I think you’ll find (as I did) that with children entering the picture, now is THE time to set boundaries for yourself, your partner, your children, and your family unit. I’ve seen and heard stories of people cutting out parents\/relatives for much less. Your concern is for your partner and your unborn child, as it should be, and this is a matter of safety. And you are right, grandparents are not entitled to access to their grandchildren. It is a privilege they earn by honoring your wishes as the parents, and your boundaries. Sending you and your girlfriend the best wishes! ######"}
{"prompt":"So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation. \n\nMy family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making. \n\nOn one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel. \n\nNext month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ######","completion":" NTA. Enjoy Hawaii! And hopefully more supportive in-laws... ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies. \n\nMy friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine. \n\nSo one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.”\n\nMy friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!”\n\nHonestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.”\n\nAfter I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat. \n\nSo yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog. \n\nTl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ######","completion":" NTA. Emotional support animals and service animals aren't the same thing. Her dog may be important to her, but it's growling at people, that's not okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16) was on a call with my girlfriend (16) when my little sister (6) entered the room. She was being loud so I told her to leave and my girlfriend says \"oh my god, I hate her\", then I said \"excuse me?\" and she repeated \"shes just annoying I don't like her.\". I told her to knock it off and she got defensive. She said \"I wasn't being disrespectful I didn't call her a bitch or a slut or call her any names\". I hung up on her. We have been dating for about 1.25 years and my little sister has always loved her and I thought she loved my little sister too, but I guess not. And she keeps telling me im acting like a child and being disrespectful. Then she goes and talks to my friend, lets call him Brad. And brad messages me and says how I'm gonna lose her because I don't \"have my shit in order\" and I'm exaggerating. Now everyone is pissed at me because my girlfriend is saying shit about my little sister. AITA for being mad at my girlfriend? ######","completion":" NTA. Dude...your girlfriend just told you she hates a 6 year old who is your sister....time to go bro ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)\n\nSo due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online. \n\nHer work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.\n\nLately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself). \n\nShe says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?\n\n\n\nTL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######","completion":" NTA. Dude, I am in the same boat as you right now. My partner seems to be under the impression that I somehow need to be 100% aware of when she wants to talk to me without any prompting and be able to immediately drop what I'm doing to listen to her. Since I am neither a mind reader, nor am I simply able to drop my work in a snap, she gets upset with me. It's incredibly frustrating for me because it honestly kind of feels like she thinks my entire world needs to revolve around her, and my work isn't important. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.\n\nMy mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.\n\nToday, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.\n\nAITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######","completion":" NTA. Dude you're sixteen and this would be weird as fuck when youre thirteen too. I would voice your concerns and if she doesn't listen just straight up get out of bed when she tries. You're a human too and you have every right to have boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a special tequila I got as a gift. I really like tequila and it’s my only alcohol that I drink. \n\nMy boyfriend drank the entire bottle.... i was upset and asked why the fuck he always has to drink any alcohol if it’s in the house. \n\nHe was nice and proceeded to go to multiple stores to find the tequila to replace it but was unable to so he found an equivalent. \n\nTwo days later the tequila is gone. He drank the second replacement bottle. \n\nAITA for being upset and concerned? He did buy this second bottle ######","completion":" NTA. Drinking someone else's alcohol is just rude. But I think the bigger problem is that he drank an entire bottle of tequila in two days.... ######"}
{"prompt":"I [F19] have kept in touch with my ex boyfriend [M18] since we broke up almost two years ago. We follow each other on Instagram and like each other pictures, that pretty much the extent of our communication.\n\nEx recently got a new girlfriend. I got a DM from him last night saying that his gf told him that he can’t follow any girls who don’t follow her on Insta, and she also has to be following them. He said that if I don’t follow her and accept her follow request, he’d have to unfollow me.\n\nSome things about my Instagram: I have about 50 followers, and they’re all either friends from back home, or friends I’ve made in college. Basically, I know all of my followers. I don’t know who his new girlfriend is, even though we went to high school together. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has about 10k followers and is following 500+. \n\nI read ex’s DM last night, not knowing what to do. When I woke up this morning, he blocked me on both of his accounts (one public, one private “finsta” account).\n\nI feel like shit because I liked seeing what he was up to and all the traveling he did. But I can also see why his new girlfriend didn’t want him following his ex anymore. AITA for not following her, even though I don’t know who she is? ######","completion":" NTA. Dont worry, hell follow you again  after they break up ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory apologies for being a mobile user and the rest of the blah blah blah.\n\nMy wife is pregnant with our first child, and I’m very happy. The other day, we’re having a conversation about the family around us and making plans, it was nice. Then it was mentioned about my father, who would obviously be ‘Grandad’ to the bump, and his wife.\n\nA little background; my fathers wife and I do not get along, she’s a bully, and petty, and used to make me miserable to live at home, so much so that I joined the army the day after my birthday as a young teen to get away.\n\nNow, because of this, I said that I didn’t want my children to call her ‘Nan’ but refer to her as her first name, as I do.\n\nMy wife says that I shouldn’t be this way, and that I’m an asshole for not wanting to allow our bump to feel like they have a full, supportive family network around them. She also expressed the concern that other kids may poke fun at bump when bump mentions visiting ‘Grandad and Firstname’ rather than ‘Grandad and Nan’ \n\nBut for me, I feel that a title of privilege like that should be earned, and that she hasn’t show that she should be granted that title.\n\nAm I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. don’t give this woman a chance to make your kids life hell the way she did yours ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly.  She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it. \n\nThe thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”.  Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it. \n\nAnother thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Don’t do it. Tell her you’ll open the account in your name and then give her the $500 if she needs the help. \n\nAlso, she is being manipulative for saying you “failed the test.” ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \n\nAs many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.\n\nWell this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart. \n\nThe group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries. \n\nI went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and\/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. Don’t cross the picket line! ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I were planning to have a baby in the next two years. My wife's friend recently adopted a baby. All of a sudden now my wife wants to adopt a baby. I really don't want to adopt. I'm not even fully sold on a baby. \n\nMy wife is really angry and keeps saying I have a heart of stone and other similar thing because I don't save a child's Life.\n\nSo AITA for not wanting to adopt? ######","completion":" NTA. Don’t be a parent to a kid you don’t want. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married. \n\nHere's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.\n\nMy brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives.  I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ######","completion":" NTA. Don’t agree to take the kids ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it. \nI seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######","completion":" NTA. Don't tell him anything. In fact, it's your turn to disappear. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last fall I bought a horse from my uncle for $200. I also purchased hay my uncle was selling for $50 per large round bale (I bought 7 for the horse). \nThis July I decided to sell the horse because they had lied about it's training and I could not even put a saddle on w\/o it flipping out. \nThe bill of sale states that the previous owner has first refusal. I am asking $500 for the horse as I put lots of $$ into it weight booster (as it was very thin &amp; malnourished when I bought it),  \nhoof trimming, wintering over etc. \nThe problem? \nMy uncle wants to buy the horse and is convinced I'm the ass hole because I want to get $500 and won't let him buy back at my purchase price of $200. His reason? \nHe \"cut me a deal on hay\". He priced the horse that low, he priced the hay that low, he malnourished the horse.\n If I sell back to him at $200 he would have made money off me by getting free hay, boarding, healthcare. \nThis is causing a family rift \nand I just need to know, AITA in this situation?? ######","completion":" NTA. Don't sell back a horse to somebody who allows them to be malnourished. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house\/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ######","completion":" NTA. Don't install the app, move out, continue not having the app. Done.\n\nShe'll complain but at the end of the day she can't make you do anything. She'll get over it eventually, or she won't but you won't be living with her so it's not a problem. ######"}
{"prompt":" So long story short I (18f) dated D (20m) for about three years. In early March I found out I am pregnant. Naturally he was the the first one I told and his response was \"come find me again after you get rid of it.\" This naturally led to a but of an argument until he backhanded me. \n After that I walked away and havent spoken to him since.  I have however kept somewhat in touch with T (16f) his sister. Time passed and the protests started. About 2wks ago I got a call from T begging me to bail D out of jail because her parents couldnt afford to. Now I don't know how much it was but I probably could have asked my dad at the time and he would have helped if possible. I didnt and still don't see the need to do that. He has not contacted me one time about this baby. I havent blocked him and if he decides to I will let him into this baby's life.\nHis parents managed to bail him out but now T is calling me a bitch and saying that I shouldnt have made their parents sacrifice a mortgage payment to get him out of jail because he is the father of my unborn child. \nSo am I wrong in refusing to bail him out? ######","completion":" NTA. Don't help your abuser. You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP though to get going about custody arrangements and restraining orders. ######"}
{"prompt":"I made some BOMB ass Mole Verde for my mom on Mother's Day (Family Recipe) and I had enough left over to bring to work with me. I decided to ask some of my coworkers if they wanted to try it. They LOVED IT! Yay! \n\nOne of my coworkers is notorious for calling herself the \"Whitest Mexican Girl\" because she makes \"traditional Mexican food from scratch\" (It's not traditional or Mexican) and asked if she could have the recipe. I told her I'd have to ask my grandma for permission to share but probably not. \n\nI get a text from her later that night saying she had an allergic reaction to my Mole and she needs to know exactly what was in it so she can figure out what she's allergic to.... She also asked for me to bring more so she could try it again to confirm that it was in fact my food that gave her the allergic reaction...WTF?! \n\nWe do potlucks all the time so we're all aware of allergies and she's NEVER mentioned being allergic to ANYTHING in the 3 years I've been working with her. I'm convinced this is just a charade to get my gmas recipe and I had to beg my gma to teach ME! ######","completion":" NTA. Don't do it.    \n\nJust send her a mesage stating that the only ingredient present in your recipe that isn't in every published recipe is [*insert unexpected asian spice not normally found in mexican cuisine - perhaps Star Anise?*]    \n\nShe'll go nuts making terrible recipes including the out of place ingredient and failing ######"}
{"prompt":"(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nHello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f\/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.\n\nLast week I was asked by friend A (f\/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.\n\nA came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f\/30) doesn't like Korean food.\n\n\"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?\"\n\nWell you guessed it, now friend C (f\/34) doesn't like sushi.\n\nThis has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.\n\nToday B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.\n\nI snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.\n\nI am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.\n\nSo yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...   \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######","completion":" NTA. Doing a nice thing for your birthday would be, for example, accepting that while Korean food isn't your favorite, it's something that the birthday celebrant would really enjoy, and finding something on the menu that you can live with. Repeatedly foisting all of the planning onto you while sticking fast to their own preferences and refusing to accept that sobriety is important to you is just jerky behavior. Sorry they are being like that.   \n\n\nAnd, hey, great job on your huge 9 months achievement. Be proud of yourself, and listen to the little voice that is telling you that people who regard not being able to drink for a couple of hours as being \"punished\" and try to make your sobriety into a failing on your part aren't going to be a supportive set of friends for your goals. It sucks, but sometimes friendships built around a shared activity don't end up going much deeper than that activity. :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"Earlier today, me and my mom had an argument about me not liking dogs, I told her my reasons but as it seemed, she refused to accept it. I went back to my room and thought that it is all over. Few hours later, she called me to help her with the laundry, I wasn't thinking much about it and went to help her, however, she started telling me that persons who don't like dogs are in fact horrible people and have problems with their inner selves, I asked why she thinks so and she just said ,,I have 45 years of an experience and that's more than you have\" and now, she don't want to talk to me until I change my view on dogs..\n\nAm I the asshole?\n\n(Sorry for my English, not a native English speaker) ######","completion":" NTA. Dogs are fine, I can take them or leave them, but dog *people* are the absolute worst. Unless you said that you’d kick a dog who wasn’t bothering you or something, there’s no reason to get worked up about your pet preferences. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, my sister, husband, 2 boys, and cute dog come over for a big family breakfast. My husband and I were playing with the dog and she was a cutie. I’m not sure how it happened, but my sister maybe thought we were annoyed (or something?) and said they’d just put the dog in the car with the windows cracked. But me and my husband, almost simultaneously, said “that’s animal abuse”! We are currently in Houston, yesterday mornin was mid 80’s. My husband did the math off the web, and it said (as we knew), that it would be 100 to 100+ degrees in TEN MINUTES. We told her, we like the dog, there no need to do that. She hissed back at my husband to SHUT HIS MOUTH (in her best teacher voice), and just began a yelling tirade. We finally just sat there, silent, drinking our coffee. \nShe ended up leaving with my bro in law for the duration of breakfast (the boys stayed- we were having waffles!), then reappeared to whisk them away after they ate. \nAITA for asking my sister to NOT put her dog in the car, and call it abuse? It could’ve been deadly. (She’s a small breed, not sure what). ######","completion":" NTA. Dogs and small children can die within a matter of minutes. I’m not sure about the laws in Texas, but in some jurisdictions animal abusers like your sister can get some hefty jail time. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16f) brother (20) decided, totally randomly with no cause (I checked), decided to sleep in the living room on the sofa. He sleeps until the early afternoon (1-4 in the afternoon), then he's awake for about 12 hours during which he watches TV and plays on his playstation, then in the early hours of the morning (12-5 in the morning) he goes back to bed, staying in the living room the whole time. I've objected to this but when I did mum said to leave him alone and basically let him do what he wants because his first girlfriend ever, who he was with for over 3 years, just broke up with him and he's going through a rough time, but she dumped him 6 weeks ago and he's been in the living room since then and I've only been able to go in when we eat dinner (the table is in the living room).\n\nIt's currently 12:50 in the afternoon. I wanted to watch TV. I went into the room, turned on TV, and started watching. I usually keep the TV volume on single digits but for some reason my brother left it on 40-something so it immediately blared. I turned it down ASAP but it woke him. He yelled at me for waking him and mum came down and said she'd told me to leave him alone and stay out of the room when he's asleep.\n\nMy brother wants me to apologise for waking him because I know how erratic his sleep schedule is and that he was asleep when I came in. I told him that's bullshit and he can't just claim an entire common room and if anyone deserves an apology it's me because this is the only room I can use during the day. Mum said he's going through a tough time and it's on us to help him, which means letting things slide and apologising even if we're in the right. I've said I'm not saying shit and now mum is saying I'm making things difficult for everyone.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Doesn't your brother have a room? ######"}
{"prompt":"It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything. \n\nBefore you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up). \n\nI live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail\/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######","completion":" NTA. Doesn't matter the reason - if they did this WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR APPROVAL, report them. What they did could have serious future repercussions on your credit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ive been rooming with my sister for 2 years now, and I’ve been having an issue since she moved in. She has a friend who smells AWFUL. Like hasn't bathed in weeks, ran through an onion field awful... who she has spend the night regularly. I cannot stress how bad this guy smells. He walks in to my house and his BO literally smacks you in the face. I cant even walk by my sisters bedroom door without gagging.   \n\n\nAnyways. Every time he comes over, she allows him to sleep on my living room couch, and i swear I can smell him on it weeks after he’s left. I’ve asked her before to get him a cheap air mattress if she wants him to spend the night, which she did, but they popped it on the first night And she has yet to replace it. (I’ve asked multiple times)\n\nI’m at the point where I’m about to tell her that he can’t stay anymore. He’s ruining MY furniture with his stench. Any time I try to bring it up to her, she just says “You’ll survive” AITA for asking her to not have her friend spend the night anymore??   \n\n\nNote: He’s been told by multiple people that he stinks, and he doesn’t seem to care. Her tellong him won’t solve anything. ######","completion":" NTA. Does your sister know why he stinks so bad? Is it a base lack of hygiene or is there some underlying condition going on? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k\/year)\n\nWhile at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”\n\nMy husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him? \n\ninfo: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours\/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ######","completion":" NTA. Does your dad know that he wouldn't have gotten any money for you anyways since you are over the age threshold? ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside. \n\nI have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ######","completion":" NTA. Does she lash out often?  If so, being away is fine. If uncommon, maybe she needs some space now and then try to talk to her later. \n\nI would suggest asking her if she wants to help or give input. Make her feel like she is part of what you are doing. But only if this is uncommon. If she  does this lashing out often, you do what you need to do. \n\nAs a mom, we all have bad moods. Also as a mom, I like being involved. Whether if it is my 7 year old doing crafts or my 23 year old asking me about buying her first house, being involved makes me happy. Maybe she feels like you are growing apart? \n\nI am in no way blaming you!  You did nothing wrong. Just offering insight. I hope this was an uncommon thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I can’t believe I’m posting something so ridiculous, but this friend who’s mad at me usually doesn’t react like this so I think I must be missing something.\n\nMy friend just finished school to become a hairstylist. We were chatting and I mentioned I’d been thinking about changing my hair. She asked me to let her do it because she needed clients to start her business and said she’d do it for free if I posted it and showed it off and told people about her. I said great but that free was too generous and I wanted to pay her something, so we agreed on a discounted rate. I got an exciting new hairstyle - new cut and color. It was a big change and it looks great. I posted it on social media and tagged her and everyone loved it. I even gave out her number to several people who asked about it.\n\nLast night we were on a FaceTime chat with a bunch of friends to catch up, play games, whatever. I had my hair pulled back in a ponytail. I didn’t think anything was wrong until later when she called me. She thought I was hiding my hair on purpose from all our friends. I admit I thought she was joking so I kind of laughed. Then she got more mad and started saying how our agreement was exposure and I should be taking care of my hair and showing it off and how hurtful it was to hide her hard work when she was excited about it. She kept getting mad and it escalated from there as I tried to calm the situation down. I admit I didn’t really apologize because I was so taken aback at the reaction. I mean, I posted it and gave people her contact info and got her name out there! Was I supposed to keep advertising my hair forever? A ponytail is a perfectly normal hairstyle right?? Am I crazy??\n\nAITA for “hiding her hard work?” Should I have just apologized? ######","completion":" NTA. Does she expect you to have it down all the time with her business cards\/contact info taped to your head? You did what she asked and if she needed you to CONSTANTLY show it off to literally everyone you come into contact with, she should have clarified that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my sister and her husband just had another baby. In the past they have been very clear about not posting pictures of their kids on social media. When they texted the extended family to announce the birth, they added a couple of picture and asked no pictures be put on social media. \nWell today. Scrolling Facebook I saw my aunt had posted one of the pictures of the baby along with it’s full name, birthdate, height and weight. This aunt has posted pictures of the kids in the past, but I’m not sure if the parents have discussed this more with her or not. The parent don’t have any social media so they won’t find out about the post unless someone tells them. I also feel it’s important to know that her Facebook is public, so anyone can see the photo, not just her friend list. \n\nSo WIBTA if I told the parents? I feel they should know but I know my aunt will be upset if she finds out I told on her, and there’s a good chance she would find out. ######","completion":" NTA. Do you think she would take it down if you asked kindly before involving the parents? If not, then don’t feel bad about telling your sister. I’m sure she would appreciate your honesty. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, family friend had this boil thing on their leg, and they heard that because cats saliva is an antiseptic, they wanted to come over and have my cat LICK it!! \n\nI said no frikkin way. \n\nNow my parents and friend are pissed at me. \nApparently I'm being a snob, it's only an animal and licks it's  butt etc... My issue is that it's gross, who knows if my cat could get sick from it, and it just seems so wrong to me..\n\nMy cat is like my baby, she follows me around and sleeps on my bed at night. \n\n\nAITA for refusing to let them use my cat? ######","completion":" NTA. Do you know why we put cones on animals when they've had an operation? You guessed it: so they won't lick their wounds and cause an infection.\n\nNot only can your cat get sick, your friend risks getting sick, too.\n\nAlso eeew gross! Wtf did I just read >< ######"}
{"prompt":"Not mine, but my friends. \"I have 2 adult kids. Both have graduated from college, but are currently living with me due to the situation and such. Neither have jobs since they both got laid off at the beginning of all of this. I'm happy to have them both back at the house, it was getting lonely since my husband passed not to long ago. I had saved up roughly 50k for each for college. My one kid, who we'll call J, and my other kid, who we'll call S, are twins. J got a scholarship that covered most of her school expenses, but I paid for rent, food, etc. I was super proud of her. S also went to college, though she didn't get a scholarship, which I was fine with. I was also super proud of her. I didn't want either of them to start out life with a bunch of student loans, so I was happy to pay for both of them since I could afford to do so. S also worked part-time to help pay. \n\nNow that they are both out of jobs and living with me, J has started asking about the rest of her \"rightly deserved money\". She wants it, I don't know if its to save or spend, but she claims that its not her fault she got a scholarship and that I didn't have to pay as much for her as her sister. I was planning on either doing renovations, possibly moving (my house is kinda big now that its just me), or going on a vacation in a few months (depending how things go) with the money. Obviously, after they both move out and get new jobs. I told her this and she got super mad. She kept going on and on about how it was her money. S stepped in and said that she should be grateful for all the help I've given both of them. Now J is mad at me and S and J are fighting. Was I wrong for not giving her the money? Should I give her the money? \n\nI'll also add that I've not asked either to pay rent, food, etc while they have been living with me. So, whatever money they had at the begging before their job loss, they should still have most of. ######","completion":" NTA. Do not give J the money. If there had been an agreement in place that each gets $X for college and may keep any excess, my judgment would be different. That’s not the case here. S is right that they should both be grateful for your generosity. ######"}
{"prompt":"My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.\n\nMy mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.\nOk so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money\nSorry if I worded it badly ######","completion":" NTA. DO NOT GIVE HER A CENT. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job. \n\nMy grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object. \n\nThis really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance. \n\nI feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA. Do not give anyone in your family a dime. This is financial abuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.\n\nSo I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.\n\nThe point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.\n\nMy mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Do not get her another frigging thing. What a rotten, immature child she is. And yes, it seems your parents just enable her, so they're definitely at least partially at fault here. Seriously, she doesn't deserve anything. Ever. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.\n\nFor some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.\n\nThings have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of \"You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant\".\n\nAs a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Disclaimer: I feel for your wife, and I give pregnant women a wide berth for their mood swings. \n\nBut you have a history of disordered eating, and at this point your wife not dropping the subject of weight, baby or not, is selfish and unproductive. Why does she keep discussing these issues with you? She needs to find a different audience for her weight concerns! She should have done that before she got pregnant, and she *definitely* should have found a different outlet during the pregnancy. I hope she finds a more appropriate friend with whom she can discuss her weight concerns, instead of with the one person in her life who sincerely struggles with these conversations. Her continuing to have them with you... fuck. \n\nI would advise that if she brings up these conversations again, you calmly remind her that weight conversations trigger your past struggles. Then cock your head to the side and ask in a bewildered voice, “I’m confused why you keep bringing up this subject? But I’m going to remove myself from the conversation.” And walk away. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######","completion":" NTA. Did you know that it’s sexist to say my friend is a girl? ######"}
{"prompt":"During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.\n\nBut then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.\n\nSo now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Did they think you wanted to actually “kill” one of the options too? It was a game. Scarlett is objectively very sexy. It was just a misunderstanding and you clarified your position once you were made aware. Hopefully they can understand that. You’re all still getting to know each other anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"We suck at money, and I’m really trying to get better about it. He has had a long week, we’re getting our stimulus money soon and he worked some OT last week, so when he asked if he could get a game, I said sure. He called me later and said the DLC he bought didn’t include everything recent, so he asked if he could get that too, and I said sure.\n\nI didn’t ask how much it was. I assumed (you know what happens then) that it would be maybe $100 total for both.\n\nI checked our bank account this morning and it was $350! I told him how much spending money we had TOGETHER this paycheck, and that is almost all of it. AITA for being upset about this, or is it my fault for not asking the amount? ######","completion":" NTA. Did he fucking buy all of EU4 or something? ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend had a dog and he left it with me when he moved to another town, saying he would come back to get it once all things are settled down.\n\n\nFrom before the pandemic till it's almost over, for 4 months after he moved and he still had no intention of coming to get it. He kept coming up with excuses, the pandemic his favourite among all. He couldn't make a trip here to collect his dog when he even went further to visit his girlfriend's parents, as shown on his IG.\n\n\nI am not a dog person, I like cats instead of dogs but prefer no pets at all. For 4 months I have been cleaning up after this dog who just doesn't behave. He destroyed my things and always did business in funny places, also liked to growl at night for some reason. Maybe it was because I work long hours and could not take it out for walks. \n\n\nI know it may be my behaviours that led the dog to misbehave but come on, I did not ask for this. I could tell that we are both miserable, the dog slightly less so as he seemed to be very attached to me, which was quite sad because the feelings weren't mutual.\n\n\nI warned my friend that if by May he still wouldn't come to collect his dog I will give it away. He promised to come and get it but as usual, came up with an excuse, saying his girlfriend caught a cold and he wanted to self isolate, nice timing again.\n\n\nI posted the dogs details on an adoption site and last week and today, finally got the poor thing adopted. It was for the best as I am a bad owner and he deserves better human, I may also finally get some peace in the house. I told this to my friend and he completely blew up on me on the phone.\n\n\nHe claimed that he thought I was joking when I warned him and now he wanted his dog back, what about self isolation again I wonder? I may update this later as it just happened but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Despite your lack of affection for dogs, you seem to care more about the dog’s wellbeing than the actual owner. It’s a crappy situation, but you made the best choice possible. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.\n\nI understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?\n\nFor context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######","completion":" NTA. Dental problems aren't like a damn bruise, they don't get better, they get significantly worse over time if not treated. Get to a dentist ASAP! If for nothing else than at least an evaluation of how bad the situation is. \n\n\n-Coming from a man with garbage teeth and constant visits to the dentist through my whole life. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in?  No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ######","completion":" NTA. Definitely NTA. He could've pissed in his own cup.\n\nOR GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR TO USE THE READILY AVAILABLE TOILET LIKE ADULTS DO. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad passed away last year and i’m the only one  along with my little sister who are on the life insurance. I am supposed to receive the money on my 18th birthday but my mom and brother (m20) are asking me to help contribute $10,000+ to a house that i’m probably not gonna live in because i’ll be 19 almost 20 moving on with my life. I have no idea how much life insurance money i’ll be receiving anyways but what should i do ? Do I give them half or do I think about myself and my future considering I am young and I had other plans on investments. ######","completion":" NTA. Definitely lawyer up though. You shouldn’t give them the money because you need that money for college. They are not entitled to your money. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.\n\nThis morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore. \n\nHe BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it. \n\nNow we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it. \n\nSo internet people, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Dear lord WHY IS HE PEEING IN A TUPPERWARE CONTAINER????? Y'all have a bathroom right? ######"}
{"prompt":"Throw away because my husband also has reddit.\n\nMy husband is gone a lot, therefore I do the cooking and cleaning 100% of the time for our family. Our definition of cleaning is completely different. I scrub everything. Especially the kitchen before and after I cook so it just stays clean. He is the complete opposite, which I’ve learned to live with kind of but it does drive me nuts, love him, but ugh.\n\nDue to the virus my husband is laid off and I asked him to make a simple spaghetti dinner while I pack stuff (we bought a house and are currently moving). \n\nNow, that’s all and well but instead of just tasting the noodles like I thought everyone did, he likes to throw the noodles on the wall to see if they are done and forgets to take the noodles that he throws down.\n\n1. I just deep cleaned the entire apartment due to moving out.\n2. I’m 5’2. He is 6’3. He also throws out and up vs straight out so I can’t reach the noodles (not to be an ass I’m sure, just the way he throws).\n\nI came out when dinner was done to see four noodles attached to the wall, I asked him to please stop throwing them and just bring a noddle to me if he needs help determining their “done-ness” and he flipped out on me and hasn’t spoken to me in an hour and a half. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Dear god, it's like every incompetent husband post on here lowers the bar a bit more. I can not believe you're being forced to ask if you're an asshole because you prefer for noodles not to be left on the wall. I mean, seriously. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ######","completion":" NTA. Data protection is a thing,I'm pretty sure there was a case in Germany where a kid sued their parents for something like this as it was an invasion of their privacy. I won't go into the naked pics of you on there only that at the very least get her to remove them. I seriously hope your mother's page is at least on a private setting so total randomers can't access it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I, (23F) recently moved out of my mother’s home. 3 years ago my cousin passed away due to a heart attack. I keep a album with pictures of them and me which brings me great comfort. My mother was always bitter about me and my cousins relationship. She always throws out or gets rid of my stuff that she doesn’t like.\n\nWhile i was cleaning out my things, i couldn’t find my album. I asked my Mom about its whereabouts and she said she threw it away since it was just “junk” \n\nI. Was. Livid\n\nI started freaking out about how it was my last part of my cousin. My cousin and I were very close, like sisters. my mother said it was just old photos and i shouldve downloaded them on my computer if i didn’t want to loose them. My mother has been doing this stuff for years and i finally reached my breaking point. I packed up everything i had and went to my new apartment. I quickly went to all the local dumps and places to see if i could find my album. I still haven’t found it yet. I dont know what to do! My mom is calling me an asshole for getting mad. I want to forgive but i can’t do this.  I later cut her off after she went on a rant to my whole family about how i’m an ungrateful bitch. she was awful to me in my youth and my cousin was my only comfort.\n\nReddit, AITA? I really need others input. I’m so angry and sad. Please help. ######","completion":" NTA. Cut. Her. Off. And I mean actually cut her off. Go NC. Stop receiving her calls. Block her number. Stop visiting her. Stop letting her visit you. She's never going to respect you. This relationship will never bring you any good. You live your life. Go to therapy. Work on doing and getting better.\n\nEdit: forgot to add NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Lol I know the title sounds misleading.\n\nAnyway my mother passed away 2 years ago and I have some of her everyday wear jewelry. Some of the jewelry is old and I don't think she ever took it to get it cleaned. Recently I asked my dad if he could go get it cleaned for me but he's been putting it off so he never got the chance.\n\nToday I woke up and decided to take it upon myself to look up diy cleaning solutions. The jewelry I chose to clean weren't real gold or diamonds or even expensive so I figured it was safe. I found a simple baking soda and dish wash solutions. The steps also said to use a clean, fresh toothbrush in case an old one may have unknown harsh chemicals. Well I had everything but a toothbrush so I decided to go and ask my cousin (who I live with) if she has one.\n\nMe: \"hey B, you got a toothbrush?\"\n\nB: \"Sure.\"\n\nThen she gave me one and made some joke about how only old ladies have spare toothbrush but she wanted to always be prepared in case someone needed. By this point she already gave me the brush and so I went to clean the jewelry.\n\nFast Forward and I asked her opinion like 2 times on if the jewelry looked differently to her. Finally when I went to show her the finished product, she saw the toothbrush in the solution and got mad. She asked if I used the toothbrush to clean the jewelry and I said \"yeah.\" She said she would've just given me an old one, but I said I couldn't use an old one for the reason above. Then she said \"what if someone spends the night and actually needed to use it to brush their teeth?\" By this point I'm kind of \"???\" because she also told me she literally has multiple packs of toothbrushes just in case. Eventually I told her I'll just buy another one for her and she's basically been ignoring me.\n\nI mean of course I'll buy her another one, they're the cheap ones so it's literally 75 cents at most. But I was just wondering if I'm TA for not specifically telling her what the toothbrush was for? ######","completion":" NTA. Cousin is being petty about how you used a cheap toothbrush. Buy her another 75c toothbrush and be done. ######"}
{"prompt":"To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.\n\nI just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad first.\n\nHere’s how to conversation went.\nD=Dad\nM=Mom\nOP:Me\n\nOP:(over Text Message) Hey, can I dye my hair,Momma said it was fine but wanted me to ask you first.\n\nD: What Color and your whole head?\n\nOP:Red and probably not, I only have half a bottle of dye.\n\nD:I’m thinking you shouldn’t unless you’re gay.\n\nNow when he said that I was in complete shock and went to my mom for her advice on what to do, she was outraged as her oldest child is part of the lgbt community . She suggested that we dye my hair anyways to prove a point. \n\nWhen I went to visit my dad he grounded me and took my phone for breaking his rules, and has said that he won’t take me anywhere because I’m a embarrassment to him. Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Cool, don’t go anywhere with him. He’s an embarrassment to YOU. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life. \n\nMy mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.\n\nI used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.\n\nNormally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.\n\nNow, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.\n\nMom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.\n\nFinally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet. \n\nYesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.\n\nAm I really being disrespectful?\n\nAITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ######","completion":" NTA. Cooking is a life skill you should be learning. Your mom is also wrong - if you consume more calories than you use that causes weight gain. Diet is a huge factor, exercise is important too but a lot of it is diet. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi! Second time posting here.\n\nOkay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.\n\nMy sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following. \n\nA few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated. \n\nI've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)\n\nI feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######","completion":" NTA. Contact Facebook and get the videos taken down. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 &amp; 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc. \n\nHowever, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months.. \n\nWhen I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day. \n\nShe got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) &amp; she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway. \n\nSo, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts? \n\nLSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######","completion":" NTA. considering the frequency of her asking you to do this and how long it takes you to do so, it’s compensation for your time. whether you’re a professional or not, you are not obligated to do any of it for free. it’s a fair price especially for how long it takes you to do their hair. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######","completion":" NTA. Complaining about the cost of a gift you’ve chosen to buy for someone is a really shitty thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I \\[30m\\] live with two roommates: Kate \\[32f\\] and Sean \\[27m\\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have \"communal food\" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.\n\nI do \"food rescuing\" quite regularly - which means \"hunting\" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.\n\nAs mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.\n\nI recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \\[probably absurdly expensive\\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.\n\nA few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.\n\nAs it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24\/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.\n\nFrankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \\[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \\[which sucks\\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \\[which also sucks\\].\n\nWIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######","completion":" NTA. Communal or not, it's common courtesy to not cram most of the communal food into your gob and leave nothing, or next to nothing, for everyone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I \\[30m\\] live with two roommates: Kate \\[32f\\] and Sean \\[27m\\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have \"communal food\" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.\n\nI do \"food rescuing\" quite regularly - which means \"hunting\" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.\n\nAs mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.\n\nI recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \\[probably absurdly expensive\\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.\n\nA few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.\n\nAs it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24\/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.\n\nFrankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \\[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \\[which sucks\\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \\[which also sucks\\].\n\nWIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######","completion":" NTA. Communal food should come with the common sense that you should be reasonable about what you eat ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.\n\nNeighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.\n\nI informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.\n\nI asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.\n\nAITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ######","completion":" NTA. Cite the anti-cat-roaming law. You should be safe, if your fence conforms to the city's ordinances regarding dog fencing. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.\nMy mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.\nNow onto the story.\n\nMy sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning. \nThe problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.\nI’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.\nMy niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.\nMy mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche\/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Children shouldn’t grow up in a home where they aren’t wanted. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######","completion":" NTA. Change your own names too. F* 'em. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care  and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her  life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######","completion":" NTA. Chances are higher that there’s something wrong with your wife, and not your daughter. I think you’re setting a great example for good parenting :). ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).\n\nVery recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.\n\nI told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.\n\nThe thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.\n\nBasically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.\nI know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.\n\nTLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######","completion":" NTA. Cancer is one of the few things you are free to make all about yourself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. On mobile.\n\nI (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.\n\nMy sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom\/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.\n\nMy sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo\/grill\/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.\n\nI told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.\n\nMy sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.\n\nI love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. Can’t your sister find a local park or other public space to use? \n\nShe wasn’t wrong for asking, but she’s definitely TA for demanding and name calling ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?\n\nThis happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies. \n\nSo my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no \nsemen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed. \n\nI ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Can’t believe your sister would marry that douche. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)\n\nSo due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online. \n\nHer work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.\n\nLately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself). \n\nShe says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?\n\n\n\nTL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######","completion":" NTA. Can't she just tap you on the shoulder or something before talking to you? It seems unreasonable that you should be forced to listen to all her work calls, because she sometimes says something to you as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy \/ mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?\n\nSo three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.\n\nWhile there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”\n\nI’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.\n\nThe girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”\n\nIt got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”\n\nMy boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Calling you dramatic for crying was rude honestly, and I agree that with the few times you met you probably were not close friends, so of course you could feel offended by her making fun of you, and in front of the guys too. It was also rude of her bf to comment on you asking for your bf to replace the suitcase. Your bf didn't have a problem with it, and even if he did, it isn't the other couple's business when *they are only acquaintances, not close friends with you*. ######"}
{"prompt":"My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her. \n\nMy cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook. \n\nAm I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######","completion":" NTA. Calling people out on bullshit is usually the right move, and you weren’t a dick about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.\n\nSo they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.\n\nSo I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult\/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were \"too nice to say anything.\"\n\nI just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ######","completion":" NTA. Call the cops next time it happens. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a pretty good neighborhood, all is well and the neighbors are chill except for my next door ones. They are an autistic family (not using this against them, just for details) and they have to stay home all day so they often go out into their yard, which is right next to my house which is placed farther back than theirs. \nToday I had my small white bird outside and it was pretty hot, so I offered him a strawberry and some of it stained his feathers. Their youngest child saw my birds feathers stained red around the mouth and ran to the father, who immediately ran over and started screaming at me and saying I was scaring his child, that I was “promoting violence”. I was confused so I had asked him what he meant and he said “Your bird looks disturbing” to which I responded that he’d just had a strawberry. The father said “Well you shouldn’t have your bird out near my kids”. (I was on MY property. He was the one attempting to climb the fence). AITA??? My bird is small and harmless. \nEdit: For background info (because I know this sounds bizarre) the family (mostly the father) likes to accuse myself and my family of trying to harm their kids \n(Ex: told kid to stop running in front of our car when we pulled out, father insisted we were threatening to run over his kids,  mother instructed her child to run up to our elderly family member in attempt to touch her, we told the parent to make sure their children were keeping distance (covid) and she told us we were being prejudiced against autistic people) ######","completion":" NTA. Call the cops and get these interactions on record. Later with enough evidence you can make a case and get a no contact order. ######"}
{"prompt":"So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: \" Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues\" or \"Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc...\" Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention \"Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?\" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ######","completion":" NTA. CALL HER OUT. My son has limitations but I'd never use them to shame anyone else. If they need help they can ask for it but it's not free reign to be an ahole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.\n\nSo, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc) \nSo for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women) \nTo my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.\nI left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her. \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. By American standards, saris are pretty extravagant dresses, but she should've put some thought into Indian heritage if she was holding an Indian wedding in India... ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight. \n\nI got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.\n\nThe only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.\n\nI've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards\/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible. \n\nMy friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because \"I'll look so much better than her\". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ######","completion":" NTA. But, I'm going to ask you to consider how you speak about your body. I have 34H breasts, naturally, and I'm not much bigger than you weight wise. I'm also very petite and short. So this statement was a bit rough to read:\n\n>I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible.\n\nThis is a big change for you, I get that. But try to be kind to yourself. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my friend rents a room in my house. The woman he had slept with a few times calls him up and says she just found out she's four months pregnant.\n\nHe very suddenly moved her into his room. They go to PP to get an abortion and she tells him she got an ultrasound and she is actually 7 months and can't get an abortion.\n\nHere are some red flags:\n\nShe showed up when she was getting evicted from her place.\n\nShe has no job and no car.\n\nShe holds her stomach area, not her uterus area. \n\nAs soon as she was told she's pregnant she started having morning sickness. (3rd trimester)\n\nNo one has seen any pregnancy test or the ultrasound. \n\nShe looks incredibly small for someone who wasn't exactly skinny before. \n\nDoesn't waddle.\n\nDoesn't look remotely uncomfortable. \n\nRefuses to take prenatal vitamins because she said they'll make her fat.\n\nHasn't seen a doctor yet.\n\nShe takes his money and goes shopping all day.\n\nAm I the asshole for asking for proof that she's pregnant before letting her stay here?\n\nI feel like my friend is being taken advantage of here. I don't agree with her decision to not give the baby up for adoption*, but I want to be supportive. \n\n*to be clear neither one of them want the baby at all, but she is benefitting from keeping it. ######","completion":" NTA. But, are you ready to have a couple and an infant living with you? The dynamic is about to change drastically, if she isn’t lying. You’d have every right to ask them to find a new place, say within a month. I understand your concern as that is your friend. Not showing the ultrasound to the father... biggest red flag. Not wanting to take prenatals is ridiculous. The baby is sucking everything it needs from you, those are just to replenish that and make sure you have everything the baby needs. They do not make you fat. ######"}
{"prompt":"Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well.  My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.  \n\n\nAnyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.  \n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. But your sister is behaving like one, with no empathy for your grief. Beloved pets are important to the owner and their loss can be a deep grief. I'm sending you compassion from afar. ######"}
{"prompt":"We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him. \n\nI want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.  \n\nI tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute. \n\nHe says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me. \n\nHe says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######","completion":" NTA. But you should seriously start a plan to leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"To paint the picture it's a first generation ipad, which basically has no support for any of their apps anymore including YouTube and most of the app-store apps. The main thing that they can be used for is internet surfing but even then they don't have much proccessing power to load modern websites which take so much power.\n\nI made a reference to this in the description saying that people think they are bricks in 2020 but ive been using it for Spotify which is pre-downloaded. It's not like I'm selling a broken iPad. It can be used as a music hub or even something for a computer enthusiast to jailbreak or whatever they want.\n\nThe seller is requesting a return of the item based upon the fact that she can't run YouTube on safari and so they have decided it's broken. \n\nI have tried to explain that if they had done the slightest bit of research on google then they'd have found that they should be buying atleast the second generation iPad which still supports YouTube. I've also offered to send her links to the huge amount of videos on YouTube which go over what they can still be used for and what they can't be used for.\n\nIf the response is NTA Ill continue to stand my ground, but I'm being the asshole then I'll issue the refund. I need all of your opinions please ######","completion":" NTA. but you should check eBay's rules about return of products, I know that some selling sites have as a rule that the buyer can return after regretted the purchase. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older brother (40’s) is an artist and is a cartoonist that used to do a lot of stuff for nickelodeon and similar back in the day. \n\nHe’s made ok money from it (defo not rich or famous) but my Asian dad act like he’s gods gift and so he has this really irritating habit of playing up the fact he’s a cartoonist because our parents bust it out like he’s some rare Picasso. \n\nAnyway I have a journal that I use for weekly planning but it has a space opposite each page that you can use to either junk journal, craft, add to do notes, whatever. \n\nI don’t especially have anything private in there and it sits in my purse which is always open since it doesn’t have a zip. \n\nMy bro decided to pluck out my journal because my mom was bragging that I do little sketches sometimes in there and he decided to do a watercolor painting in my journal on a random page of fucking spongebob of all the things which DOES NOT fit the aesthetic of my journal at all. \n\nI didn’t know this happened and when I came down to eat noticed only cuz my journal was open drying. I was like wtf. \n\nI grew irritated only cuz I spend a lot of money buying sticker kits for my journal and this dumb painting is really wtf. I asked him to reimburse me for ruining my journal as I don’t consider it art and he laughed at me and told me to get over myself in the most smug way possible. \n\nI called him a cunt and my dad immediately started yelling at me and it sparked a big argument. Thankfully my mom was on my side but she too thinks I’m making a big deal of this. \n\nBtw I’m a teenager, my bro is my dads from my first marriage if anyone is wondering. ######","completion":" NTA. But you need to learn better interpersonal skills and how to voice and communicate displeasure in a more adult way. Since you’re not an adult yet, you’re NTA but hopefully you start looking into improving these things. ######"}
{"prompt":" My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the \"plandemic\" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other \"conspiracy\" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta. But you didn't have to tell her it was you ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA\n\nTwo years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######","completion":" NTA. But you ain’t never seeing that money :\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll keep this short and use fake names. Also I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.\n\nLily Jones (F27) is my best friend since pre-school. I've known her family since I was 5 years old. Her mom Linda (F51), her dad Joe (F53) and her two younger siblings. As far as I knew her parents were happily married and Lily adores both of them. Joe is a professor in a university.\n\nA couple of days ago, a co-worker (F32) put a picture of her and her parents in her whatsapp status with a short message about being her parents wedding anniversary. I was surprise to see that was Joe, aka Lily's dad but the wife in the picture was not Linda. I thought this may be a mistake, or just someone who looked an awful lot like him. So I message my co-worker and asked something like \"Your dad looks familiar, by any chance is he professor Joe Jones that works in x university, I think I attended one of his conferences\" and she confirmed it.\n\nAs far as I know (and I've known her since I was 5) Lily doesn't know she has any older sister or that her dad has any other family. And as far as I know her parents are married, so I'm really confused right now.\n\nI screenshot the conversation with my co-worker and her whatsapp status but I've been on the fence about sending this to Lily. Would I be the asshole if I send her this? ######","completion":" NTA. But talk to the coworker as well. See if she knows to she deserves to know just as much, and if you can offer to get them together if they both want it. I have a brother who has no idea I'm his sister, and a sister I've never met, both suck. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.\n\nI'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it. \n\nMy mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######","completion":" NTA. But speak to your dad and tell him that you would like to keep the items you want to pass on, and let him give anything you don’t want to his stepkids. \n\nIf you hide things you don’t even want then that’d be you being TA. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year but I always wondered if I was TA.\n\nso my dad has three girls (at the time we were 17,15,11) and his wife has three boys (they were 8,12,14) and we lived together in a big house until we moved to a smaller one because rent.\n\nThe house has a master room for the parents  and four bedrooms  so me and my sisters got two rooms and the boys got the other two (bigger) rooms because they live with their mother full time and my sisters and I are in shared custody.\n\nwhen we went to see the house I found out me designated room was the one used as a storage  and it was so small my little sister (15f) couldn't sleep there because she had an adult sized bed and it wouldn't fit. I complained to my dad that my room was the smallest despite the fact I am the oldest child and I spend more time in my room then anyone else. I also complained that my sisters (15,11) had to share a rather small room and that he shouldn't have sighed a contract before making sure the house had enough room for all the children.  my dad's wife told me I was ruining the mood because the whole point of seeing the house was to be happy about how pretty it was and that I was the only one complaining. I know I have the right to feel what I feel  but since they already sighed the contract  and there was no way to change the situation I was ruining her mood.\n\nAITA?\n\nIf anyone is concerned I solved the situation. I used the move as an excuse to go live with my mom( something I wanted to do anyway) so now (11f) has \"my\" room and 15f has the normal room. I sleep in 15f's room in my childhood bed every other weekend. 14M has his own room and his little brothers don't  mind sharing a room (their words not mine) ######","completion":" NTA. But seriously, the ONLY thing that could have made this any better is if you and the oldest step brother built a house of cards for dibs on the attic. (I may be showing my age a bit with that remark) ######"}
{"prompt":"Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.\n\nRecently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. But PLEASE back up all of your documents to the cloud. Don’t want the entitlement to end up with you losing all of your work.  \n\nAlso, IPad keyboards are pretty cheap. I have one from Logitech that I got for my iPad 2 (or whatever it’s called— it’s old) that I’ve had for over 8yrs with no issues. I recently got a newer iPad and got a keyboard: even with the fancy swivel option it was still around $50 iirc.\n\nThe keyboards work well. I used the iPad and Logitech keyboard for years of community college note taking. Mine had a magnet edge that snapped onto the iPad and acted as a case. I could stand the iPad up in a groove on the keyboard. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that. Long story short, she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat. We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.,\n\nI don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?\n\n[Kitty](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on :(  \n\n\nEDIT1:   \n HOLLY CRAP! I didn't expect this amount of response! Thank you everyone for taking the time and leave your comment. It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved.  ######","completion":" NTA. But personally if I had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl I’m choosing the pet 10\/10 times. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a trust fund child. My father is extremely well off and a complete narcissist.\n\nMy mother died when I was young. I was raised by my maternal grandparents as my father wanted nothing to do with me. He would show up for a week or two at a time, set me up with money and told me constantly how he wished I hadn't been born.\n\nSo there's that.\n\nAnyways a year ago I was contacted by this girl in her late teens claiming to be my half-sister and that she was reaching out because she wanted to get to know me.\n\nNow I was skeptical and asked for proof and she sent me pictures of her and my father at various ages. She seemed to have a really good childhood and if I didn't know better I'd say it wasn't even the same man.\n\nI asked for a DNA test just to be safe and it confirmed we are related.\n\nShe kept talking about how she knew she had a sister somewhere and how amazing her childhood was and I just started to hate her.\n\nShe had a family. She got to do ballet and take voice lessons and she went to a top school for theatre. She went to a fancy private school and was captain of the girls *fencing* team. She had people do her hair and makeup for special events because she could.\n\nMy family was dirt fucking poor and I refused to touch my father's money for a long time.\n\nHer father loved her and I got \"here's a couple million, see you next year\" from him.\n\nNow she wants to meet me because we're \"family\" and I told her no. I told her we're not family and that we share blood and that was it. We had nothing in common and we clearly had different parents.\n\nShe's upset because I'm being cold to her and my father changed the terms of my trust so now I can't claim any more of the assets until I meet with her.\n\nAITA? Should I meet with her?\n\nThe money isn't important at this point, I am already set for life. ######","completion":" NTA. But personally I would want to meet her and share your story, with the intention to expose the type of person your father really is. You’ll have access to your trust again (don’t forget to mention to her how you’re father changed the terms of your trust) and how she views her  father will never be the same. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. But label it as yours first...put “for wowlookatthatpickle only”on it so that it’s clear. Then if she wants to try to penalize you somehow because she got sick she has to admit to ingesting your clearly labeled personal property. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home. \n\nThis evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######","completion":" NTA. But I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to find a reason to target you and get your mom on his side, and make your life worse. Defending yourself by proving a point isn’t an asshole move. ######"}
{"prompt":"I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. But I'd always keep some of the cheap stuff on tap for the kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked\/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job \n\n(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it) \n\nAm I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######","completion":" NTA. But I would be suspicious of him. He sounds incredibly angry and spiteful that you put up a lock on your own door. That is not a normal reaction, it's a very glaring overreaction. It sounds like he's really angry and that you've inconvenienced him in some way. I wonder why this bothers him so much and what plans he actually had that you've now foiled. Because it is your own property and your boundary and your door. He has nothing to do with your room-- unless he does and this messes things up. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SO has two kids and I’ve been with him for 3 years.  Recently moved in with him back in January.  Before I moved in I had a lot more time to myself and got really into an online game that has a commitment to be online and play with a group of people 2 days a week.  My real life friends play this game, which is how we spend time together these days. \n\nMy SO hates that I game.  Sometimes he is chill with it, but times like yesterday where I played an extra hour Monday night when he was going to bed (he sleeps at 8 PM) or if he’s just in a bad mood he starts making comments about how I’m “cracked out on games” or that games are obviously more important than him and nothing gets done around the house unless he does it (he was upset his kids made messes around the house), or that I put a group of random dudes over him.  He also said that he might as well go out to a bar and hang out with a bunch of chicks because it’s the same thing.\n\nI pretty much refuse to stop gaming at this point as this is my major point of contact with my friends (we live far away and we have shelter in place).  I’ve cut down time significantly already to 2-3 hours in the evening 2 days a week. Everything else I do with him 100% - I have no other hobbies outside of this relationship.  I also pay 3\/4 of the rent, work full time (although I work from home and he has to physically work 12 hrs a day), cook every night and do some of the cleaning, although most of the cleaning is admittedly on him (laundry\/mopping\/dishes).  I help his older kid with homework every day he is here and have been the primary driver of making sure his kids are behaving, going to bed on time, etc.\n\nI feel like I have a right to have some “me time” a couple hours a night for a couple days a week.  So AITA for refusing to give up gaming? ######","completion":" NTA. But I do have to point out that this being an issue is a huge red flag. Two evenings a week of gaming is not excessive. If your SO is this jealous of your time you may want to rethink your living situation. He sounds very controlling and could just get worse with time. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was just fired from my job that ha given me a company phone. I was not given a chance to remove personal information like passwords and personal accounts off of it. It also had text messages from company contacts and workers. After 12 hours I did a remote erase of the phone being that I still had access to it via find my device. Ex employer confronted me about it and is super pissed. I brought up that the last person fired (for completely different reasons) didn't have the intelligence to erase her phone so the owner and his wife went thru all of her personal stuff on her phone and to my knowledge still do because she hasn't changed her FB password? There were a couple other things that he was acting about ( he saw me pull into a gas station, he doesn't have my new phone number) that irrelevant to this question. ######","completion":" NTA. But dude, come on. Don't put FB and stuff like that on work phones. Assuming they have been set up to do so, they can monitor your phone at all times; wiping it when you no longer work for them is too late. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi Reddit,\n\nI know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.\n\nA couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight &lt;she did not want to let go&gt;. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false). \n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. But don't let her into the home, man. Stay healthy! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened years ago.  A friend (22F) asked me (22F) to go on a group camping trip shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up.  I agreed to go, and she paid for the camping site.  I found out afterwards that everyone else going was dating each other...four couples and myself.  She said that I would have to bring my own tent and sleep alone and could join the others in the daytime.  I gave her my part of the money for camping but told her I would not be going on the camping trip to be a ninth wheel immediately after a breakup because it made me feel really awkward and rubbed in the feeling that I was alone, but that I appreciated the invitation and would go camping with her another time.  She was very upset and said that I had promised to go, which is true, but it was not quite a 'group of friends' event, it was a couples camping trip...with me as the awkward ninth wheel.  So tell me, Reddit, AITA for backing out of a camping trip that I had promised to go on, because the trip was a different group than I expected? ######","completion":" NTA. But did she explain why she was so upset that you felt the need to write a post?\n\nSure, you pulled out. But you paid your bit and there were 7 other people on the trip she was hanging out with ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought\/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ######","completion":" Nta. But be straight up with your current\/future roommates about your plan so they can make preparations. Its your stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"I saw a post really similar to this, and everyone was calling the OP an asshole so I wanted to see if I was also an asshole.\n\nAbout seventeen years ago, I found out that my daughter, who was then nineteen, was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. Of course she was in University and did not want children but my husband and I asked if she would be okay with us raising the kids and she said yes. \n\nUnfortunately, during the pregnancy she cut us off. To this day I don't know why, but we didn't see her for about a year, until we got a call one night saying she had overdosed and asking us to come pick up the babies, who for the purposes of this post, I will call Liam and Faith.\n\nMy daughter passed, and she left two three month old babies. My husband and I took custody of and eventually adopted them, but their names were horrible. \n\nThe boy's name was Liam Pippin Smoke, and the girl's name was Indica Dreamcatcher Faith.\n\nWe have no idea where she got those names from, immediately after taking custody of them, we began calling them Liam and Faith. After we adopted them, we legally dropped the other names.\n\nThe kids are sixteen now, and they still don't know that they used to have other names. I told this story to a friend of mine, who also adopted a child with a ridiculous name, and she said I was horrible. She said I should have just left Liam's name alone, and just switched the placement of Indica and Faith. She said that middle names are rarely used anyway, and that I cut off all connection they had to their mother.\n\nPersonally, I would never want to saddle a child with a middle name like Indica or Smoke, but I do feel like I might be in the wrong here. My daughter picked these name, and sometimes I feel wrong for changing them.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Burdening a child with a name explicitly linked to drug use is terrible on the mother’s part, and could potentially have serious repercussions.\n\nYou kept the original names to a point, just removed the frankly inappropriate parts. That’s totally okay. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything. \n\nI visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something. \n\nI came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was  14 and my brother was 22. \n\nI was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me. \n\nI’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ######","completion":" NTA. Brother's a groomer. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Break up with her. Assuming you'd get rid of your dog for her without even talking to you about it is a huge red flag, and keeping a dog caged 24\/7 unless you're actively interacting with it is abusive and something that you as its owner have a responsibility to put a stop to. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?\n\nMy childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist. \n\nWe normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore. \n\nWe still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt. \n\nI eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”. \n\nThen I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable. \n\nShe cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######","completion":" NTA. Boundaries are healthy in any relationship. You're not a therapist and even if you were you wouldn't owe her every ounce of your time and energy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ######","completion":" NTA. Borrowed shoes should always be worn with socks. ######"}
{"prompt":"My car has a small Blue Lives Matter flag sticker on the back window, since the car used to be my mom’s and she put it on before she got a new car and gave her old one to me. I have never personally agreed with the ideas behind Blue Lives Matter, but I kept the sticker up because my stepdad is a police officer and my mom would be upset if I took it off. However, everything going on with police brutality lately has really made me uncomfortable having the sticker on my car. WIBTA for wanting to take off the sticker, even if my stepdad is a police officer? ######","completion":" NTA. Blue lives matter is a really specifical movement that has a lot of really negative and racist undertones. If you dont agree with it take it off. Its your car now. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (m33) met my wife (f34) 10 years ago in high school via a friend. She introduced me to Fleetwood Mac, and one of my favorite songs is \"black magic woman\" and as a cute nickname, i started calling her that.. She thought it was funny, and it's been a cute little inside joke between us. \nShe's half Colombian, Half Jamaican, but I never really thought of her skin color when I started calling her that.\nYesterday, me, her and her high school friend she hadn't seen in many years were hanging out at home. They were catching up on each other's lives, and I was just watching TV. She suddenly stood up and went to the kitchen and asked us if we wanted to have tea. I said \"sure, black magic woman!\" to her as she laughed a little. \nWhen she had gone to the kitchen, her friend angry and offended accused me of racism and called me a dickhead. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Black woman here. Even without the context of the song it’s not racist. She is black. She is in fact a magic woman. These are definitely touchy times right now. But nothing you said is offensive. Atleast not to me personally. I could see how it could be problematic but it’s not racist. \n\nMaybe in the future you could just say “magic woman” and between you two the rest of the joke is inferred. \n\nAlso you should just double check in with her about her feelings. A little extra communication never hurt anyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm new to this so I'm just going to apologise now if I'm doing it wrong, sorry!\n\nI'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I was talking to my SO about the labour and how I hope things go smoothly because they didn't last time and I'm quite terrified. A bit of background my son was prem, it was a very difficult and traumatising birth. He spent 4 weeks in the SCBU ward.\n\nI've been reading up on things to try and make it a positive experience this time around and although I know you can't control how labour goes one of the things was to make it as different as possible to your last birth. So I listed to my partner what things I can have different this time and not having a student midwife there was one of them.\n\nWith my labour it turned into a ventouse delivery because they needed to get him out ASAP and they asked if it would be okay if the student midwife watched because he'd never witnessed one of those births before. I agreed but mainly I think because I was in so much pain and on a lot of drugs.\n\nSo this time I've said I don't want anyone there who doesn't need to be there and my SO said that would be unfair of me because I could be the reason this person takes longer to pass? (we're not so sure how becoming a qualified midwife works so we we're just guessing). I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to have anything the same as last time if I can help it. SO said he'll support me whatever as I'm the one giving birth but I've thought about it and I'm now worried AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Birth is not spectator sport. My daughter was premature and I gave birth at a teaching hospital. The moment my daughter was crowning, the neonatologist brought in several ob\/gyn students. I was so shocked and focused on pushing my kid out, I didn't even tell them to get the fuck out. \nI don't remember consenting to having students watch my birth, but in any case, no, you are not the asshole here. With my next pregnancy and birth, I totally do not want any students watching me give birth. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######","completion":" NTA. Being sick (whether it’s Covid or not, pandemic or not) is more than enough reason to bow out of an outing. Your dad could have taken everyone else instead of canceling the whole thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.\n\nOccasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future. \n\nBefore this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.\n\nI know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Being poly or open simply isn’t for everyone. It sounds like your partner either changed their mind, or bait-and-switched you. You shouldn’t have agreed if you weren’t truly comfortable. This isn’t gonna end well if you’re just doing it to make them happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.\n\nTo the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.\n\nWe were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like \"uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!\" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said \"if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is\". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.\n\nWhen making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.\n\nDaughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ######","completion":" NTA. Being open about this stuff is always better for everyone. You sound like a supportive person who gets that some people go through real problems and you would be there should that happen. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.\nK: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other \nMe: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women\nK: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like? \nMe: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.\nK: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend” \n*i explain* \n\n2 days later \nK: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.\nMe: yes I did is there a problem? \nK: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her\nMe: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt \nK: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school \n\nI feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ######","completion":" NTA. Being homosexual is not acquired. There is this fiction that it would occur when being informed about it. That is just wrong. Sexuality is not as clear cut as the family of your friend seems to think. Homosexuality is a naturally occurring thing and nothing to be ashamed about.\n\nHaving said that I fear you will lose this friend because they consider your sexual orientation as disturbing either due to their culture or their religion. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and we were talking about what things we look for in a partner. She asked me if there were any things that would be dealbreakers for me, and I said smoking. My mom is a smoker and I have always hated it. Everything in our house smells like smoke and it's gross (and never goes away no matter how many times you wash your clothes\/blankets), plus it gives me headaches all the time. I don't care if people smoke, that's their business, but I would NOT want to live with a smoker again and it would definitely be a dealbreaker in a relationship.\n\nNow my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked. Which isn't even true, as I have other friends who smoke and it's fine. I just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. But my friend when and told all the rest of our friend group, and they're all angry at me! I tried to explain better, but they won't hear it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Being friends with a smoker isnt the same as dating them unless ur under the same roof.\n\nIt's like smoking is a deal breaker for u and that's okay. It's ur personal preference. \n\n>Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked.\n\nYou're friend's prolly insecure and doesn't know how to handle that fact. Also, she responded poorly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times. \n\nMy order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.\n\nSo, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######","completion":" NTA. Being a delivery driver does not give you license to force religion on strangers. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles. \n\nToday I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to. \n\nAnother coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR. \n\nWIBTA if I went to HR about it? ######","completion":" NTA. Been to Romania, know people from Romania, they don't live in sheds and drink oly goat milk, it's a modern, civilised country and his opinions would have been just as backwards in Romania. Actually excusing his behaviour because he's \"from Romania\" is low key racist, because you imply it's somewhat more acceptable there. Go to the HR instead of shielding him from responsibility.\n\nETA: Obviously \"xenophobic\" is a better word here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well. \n\nMy wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos. \n\nThis has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand. \n\nHowever when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids. \n\nI feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Becoming adept at multiple languages helps brain development and wires your brain to be open to learning more languages in the future. I understand why your wife may feel left out, but you are really setting your children up for success, which is the point of parenting.\n\nShow her this article by a Child Psychologist: [https:\/\/www.miamiherald.com\/news\/local\/education\/article224778775.html](https:\/\/www.miamiherald.com\/news\/local\/education\/article224778775.html)\n\nIf this doesn't sway her, maybe talk to your kids' teachers or pediatricians.\n\nEdit: Just caught the kids' ages. That's even more unacceptable on her part. They SHOULD be learning more than one language and practicing. Would she feel the same way if it was Spanish?. Don't they take language classes in school? Do they not practice those at home? ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology\n\nSo I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.\n\nFor clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.\n\nI ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat\n\nI ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her\n\nWhen we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.\n\nI am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######","completion":" NTA. Becoming a teenager in not an excuse to be a total brat. It usually has something to do with the parenting. Or in this case the lack of. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.\n\nEvery time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.\n\nSo the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.\n\nHe let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?\n\nEDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######","completion":" NTA. Be sure to mention **why** you recorded the conversation due to promises being consistently broken. This isn’t a once or twice type issue ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6\/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.\n\nI dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.\n\nI’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.\n\nI always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.\n\nWhen I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”\n\nI put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.\n\nNow he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.\n\nHe says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Be ready for comments? Wtf? Is he the kind of man who thinks a woman deserves to get assaulted if she wears a short skirt? The misogyny is gross. ######"}
{"prompt":"Because of Covid a course I was about to take in college decided to change its format. This course is lab based but professors decided we could work at home, designing the experiments and sumbitting a lab report.\n\nI was assigned with only one classmate and we have been worked really good, however, two weeks ago we started our last experiment.\n\nI texted him three times during those 2 weeks and evey time he told me he hadn't started his part and that he would do it tomorrow.\n\nLast friday we had an online presentation about this last experiment. I texted him on wednesday morning and he texted back on thursday night, saying that he'd rather we use my data because his wasn't finished (looks like not even started), but he offered to help with the PowerPoint, which he didn't because he didn't even know what I did.\n\nBut, since we had worked well in the previous experiences I just write his part of the presentation and I decided to let all this slide.\n\nNow he have to submit our report tomorrow and I wrote him yestersay, and he hasn't responded. I have already finished the report but I intend on sumbitting it with my name only and talk to the professor. I wouldn't tell my partner so that he thinks I will make his work.\n\nSo, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. Be proactive and email your lecturer\/tutor to explain the situation as well. It helps to have a record of any time you tried to contact him as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays. \n\nSometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights \"fend for yourself night\". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.\n\n I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######","completion":" NTA. At those ages your kids are more than old enough to prepare their own meals. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA. At this point I would just get my own account for savings where they won't have access to (especially if they're just helping themselves to it). Not sure if you need to be 18 to do so but if not, just cash it all out and secure it somewhere safe.\n\nAs for your family, I would discuss with them about your concerns and that they should manage their finances more responsibly. It would be wise to tell them you're no longer lending money in a civil manner because if you just up and cut them off unexpectedly there could be some backlash you'd have to deal with. Explaining that it's for your college\/tuition expenses could help them understand. Best of luck for your future! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey all, so my school is having final exams this week. The Spanish exam was on Monday, and it was online. Essentially, our professor accused us of cheating.\n\nHe told us over a zoom call that he knew several students used google translate on the exam. He then said that google had given the school a list of all the IP addresses of students (LOL) that connected to google translate during the exam. He then said anyone who cheated could go to him to retake the exam to get a C at max, or else he'd submit all the names to the administration for disciplinary action.\n\nHe was clearly lying, so i sent private messages to everyone in the class saying that it was a bluff on his part and telling them not to turn themselves in. Several of my classmates got mad at me and said i was enabling cheaters.\n\nAI really TA here? ######","completion":" NTA. At the end of the day it was a bad bluff that was obviously a lie. That said it's pretty obvious if you use Google translate because it tends to get syntax wrong, so your teacher should be able to pick out the cheating by hand. ######"}
{"prompt":"My nephew is staying with me for the summer.  My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.  \nMy nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m.  Told him smarten up and go to bed.  Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on.  His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it.  I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable. \nWell I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people.  There were several inappropriate interactions.   The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone. \nNow my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone.  Saying I had no right to go threw it.  \nAITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ######","completion":" NTA. At first glance i disagree with the fact that 1 am is a time to go to bed (but it is your house, your rules), then, as you have talked to his dad abou taking his phone (and who told you to go thru it) and you found out that he was talking to people who would have tried to take advantage of him being a minor, you did the right move, you protected your nephew. He has the right to be mad tho, but you did it for the greater good, he might not understand it today, but he will in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I have been living together for a while now. She loves baking bread, I'd say it's safe to say that it's one of her hobbies\/passions. As a result we always have delicious bread in our home. I think it's amazing and I'm really lucky. \n\nFor the sake of this post I feel like I have to include that I never bake bread. We both cook but I never bake. I never ask her to either she just does it because she enjoys it. She usually bakes bread once or twice a week. \n\nWe live in a country where people have been stock piling idiots so supermarkets have been out of toilet paper pasta and apparently also yeast. About a week ago my girlfriend told me that she's out of yeast. She seemed to be bummed because she started being more experimental with her bread baking since we went into lockdown. So I made it my mission to get her yeast. I called every supermarket and finally found a bakery that was happy to sell me some. I picked it up yesterday and wrapped it up as a little present. I wanted to give it to my girlfriend tonight but when I told one of my mates about it today he said that it would be an insulting present. He said it's sexist and my girlfriend might think I want to imply that I expect her to make me bread. He also said it's a bit like gifting her a gym membership when she didn't ask for one. \n\nI'm really unsure now because I DO NOT expect her to bake for me. I genuinely thought she'd like it but I absolutely do not want to offend her.\n\nWIBTA if I give her the yeast wrapped up as a present? ######","completion":" NTA. At all.\n\nAs a bonus, throw in a couple flours too. \n(Just  to play on the old gift of flowers\/flours) ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my best friend 9 years ago and we've both gone through a lot together. His GF died 7 years ago and I helped put him back together. He was there for me when my parents died. We're like brothers and friends and family have commented that we're like an old married couple. Even during lockdown we've pretty much called each other every day.\n\nI've been with my GF for 3 years and he's been with his for 4 years. Next year we're celebrating 10 years of friendship and about a year ago we decided to take a trip together and we chose Japan as the destination. We've been saving up for it (as well as buying a house each) the entire time and I've also been saving up airmiles as well as using a credit card to get something called a companion voucher, essentially I get a free plane ticket. As such, we've got two 1st class tickets and have split the cost in half. We're hoping to travel next Autumn as we met in September.\n\nMy GF never seemed to care about the trip at first and we've been on smaller trips together as a couple, but as of late she's started to get angry that I'm going with him and not her. I finally hit the required spend on my credit card and got the voucher so was pretty excited, now she'd demanding that when I buy the ticket I take her and not him. I refused point blank.\n\nThis is an expensive trip, and after buying a house I doubt I'll make this trip again for at least a couple of years if ever. AITA for taking my best friend rather than her? ######","completion":" NTA. At all. Your girlfriend seems pretty jealous, and entitled. It’s fine that she wishes she could go, but to demand, or to even ask, that you take her instead of him is completely unfair. You planned the trip with him. You saved for it with him. The trip is in celebration of YOUR friendship. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nA few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ######","completion":" NTA. AT ALL. you made the right decision, and it was YOUR decision entirely. I'm so sorry you're going through this. you did NOT kill a baby, you saved a life - yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"We're not prudes. We've experimented with other couples and stuff like that over the years. We're both 32 and have been together for more than a decade.\n\nRecently, she was furloughed and she just kind of started camming. She didn't ask me about it the first time, she just did it.\n\nWhen she finally brought it up to me, she asked if I would be okay with it. It wasn't until I hesitantly said yes when she said she had already cammed up for guys.\n\nOn one hand, I'm kind of turned on by it. On the other, I'm kind of repelled by the thought of potentially hundreds of thirsty guys on chaturbate masturbating to my wife.\n\nI want to allow her to retain her autonomy, but I'm not comfortable with it. She tells me I'm overreacting, that it's not sexual for her and it's just for money.\n\nAnd we could certainly use the money.... I just feel... I don't know. She's upstairs as we speak with her legs spread for other guys while I'm... here. Typing this. It doesn't feel good, and she doesn't want to listen. ######","completion":" NTA. At all. That’s definitely something most people would be uncomfortable with their SO doing. Even if it’s not sexual for her, she still has to act like it is. You’re in a relationship, you don’t just do something like that without talking to you SO first. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an East Asian girl, and he’s white. When we first met, he told me he’d never date someone of my race but he thinks that I’m cool. I thought it’s whatever, he can be attracted to whoever he wants. Eventually, he asked me out and I said yes. We’ve been dating for 5 months now.\n\nLast night, we were hanging out and he jokes that ‘it’s nice to have a submissive woman around’, because I come from a traditional family. I didn’t think it was funny. I told him that he’s being racist and disrespectful. He told me to lighten up and I’m being petty over nothing. ######","completion":" NTA. At all. \n\nYour boyfriend is a massive asshole. He was the first time he said he’d never date “someone of your race” and he’s an even bigger one now. \n\nI rarely say this based on so little information, but dump his ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"Trying to make this quick and not put too much into it.\n\nWe have a 6yo daughter together. In May on Mother's day, my husband did nothing to have her give me a gift or even say the words to me. I want to say he got me a $1 bag of candy from the store and tossed it at me very nonchalantly like it was another day.\nI feel almost as though I should treat him the same. I was hurt by it at the time but didn't want to make a scene about it.\n\nToday being father's day is harder for me. I lost my dad a few years ago. My husband does not talk to either one of his parents. Which is a choice of his that I very much respect (but I would be pretty PO'd if he used that as an excuse to ignore mother's day for the mom of his kid)\n\nI feel a little guilty about ignoring it. Do I go do the same? Get him a candy bar and call it a day? Or have our daughter shower him with some praise? ######","completion":" NTA. At 6 your daughter could draw a card if she wanted and a bar of candy back is still acknowledgement of the day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house \"what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?\" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.\n\n I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying \"the experiment was over\" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated \"I'm 18\" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######","completion":" NTA. At 18 you should have every right to lock your door. I don’t know what the rest of your home life is like, but I moved out at 18 for similar, albeit less egregious issues. Some parents will always treat you like you’re 5 no matter what. It’s toxic and stifling. Moving out was one of the best decisions I ever made. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nI’ve told my(16M) sister(14F) several times to stop touching my stuff, yet she still does it. I’ve told my parents, yet they do nothing\n \nToday I finally got to play my switch after a couple weeks. I had to study for school and a couple tests \n \nIt turns out that my sister has been using my game for weeks. She’s spent over a hundred and fifty hours playing it.\n \nI got really pissed. She was once again using my stuff. So, I just deleted it. When I told her, she got super mad. She said I was being unfair.\n \nI just told her that I did nothing wrong. All I did was use my game on my console. Nothing wrong there, is there? Then, my sister proceeds to tell my parents. I somehow got in trouble.\n \nI feel like my parents are definitely being somewhat sexist or ageist. I’ve complained to them many times, and they do absolutely nothing, but when I handle it myself, they get mad.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Assuming that it's your switch and your game, then you have first call to play it. If your parents want your sister to play the game, they can get her a switch and the game, too.\n\nA lot of people in this thread don't seem to understand that there's only one save slot on Animal Crossing: New Horizons. So, in order to play his game, he had to delete her island. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I’m a bit lost. My family is angry at me and my friends are saying I was in the right. \n\nDue to me being an idiot, I now have a second switch. I thought my first Nintendo switch was broken, but turns out the problem was with my tv. So both work fine. I figured I’d sell my first one and put the money towards paying off my credit card or getting a ps5. \n\nMy dad, upon hearing this, immediately suggested I give the switch to my brother. Give. For free. He can’t even afford a game for the console, let alone the console itself. Am I also meant to give up my games to him?\n\nMy brother made my teenage years hell. He stole from me, threatened me, he is the reason I moved out 5 years ago and never looked back. I admit, I’m bitter. So very bitter. So when my dad suggested I give him the switch, I laughed and hung up.\n\nNow my family are angry I’m not willing to give up a perfectly functional Nintendo switch, that I’m not using, for free. Apparently i’m being selfish. Am I the asshole? I don’t owe him anything, but I’m really biased about this so I could be wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. Assuming both were bought with your own money and owned outright, it's irrelevant what kind of relationship you had with your brother. At minimum, your dad is TA for setting this sort of expectation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. \n\nI (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). Their mom isn't in the pictue. I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for both of them to go to college which amounted to about $100k each kid. \n\nThe thing is, Ana got a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up. \n\nBoth my children knew I had $100k for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride, I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or a downpayment for a house. \n\nSo last week Ana asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and how I'm being unfair. I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her, which was the same amount as what I've given him for college. He still thinks I should've split the money evenly so it would be more fair. I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife (their stepmom) told him.\n\nAna has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding for his half of the money. So both my kids are fighting now.\n\nMy wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart. I told her that it was always Ana's money and I already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses. \n\nBoth kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money. \n\nSo reddit... AITA? I think that splitting the money would've been very unfair to Ana, who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think?\n\nEdit: I spent a bit over $100k on Alex's education cause not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent, bills, food, and everything in between. ######","completion":" NTA. Assuming Alex did in fact get his $100k. ######"}
{"prompt":"She came to me the other day and sat me down and said she’d like to stop taking birth control pills. I said ok we can use problems, no condom. She said no she doesn’t wanna use condoms. When I asked why, she said they don’t work 100% of the time (which is fair I guess but no birth control method works 100% of the time); and that the deed doesn’t feel as good. So I said ok what do you suggest. She said she’d like for me to get a vasectomy. Apparently she did her homework and my insurance covers the entire procedure which is fair enough I guess but I’m only 21 and I’m not quite ready to give up my fertility. She said that’s not an issue because vasectomies are reversible. I said not all of the time. She got frustrated and said she’s sick of the burden being on her and I said how can that be so when you used B.C. long before you met me, and I’ve always said if you want to get off it then I’ll support you. She said so support me and get the vasectomy. I said absolutely not, if you want to go and get your tubes tied that’s o.k and I won’t stop you but I’m not ready to sterilize myself yet. \n\nSince that conversation she’ll ask me again and again if I’ve thought about it. At first I said yes and my answer hasn’t changed. But she won’t quit so I just say no or ignore her. It’s so annoying. She won’t entertain IUDs and to be honest her reasoning for being against condoms is kind of suspect. So she asked again just now and I said no please quit asking me. No matter how many times you ask I’m not changing my mind and that’s that.  Now she’s really angry at me because she thinkings VaSeCtOmIeS aRe So MuCh EaSiEr and I should suck it up but if I’m being honest the more she badgers me about it, the more convinced I am not to budge. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Asking your 21 year old BOYFRIEND for a vasectomy when there likely hasn't even been much discussion of marriage, children, the future, and etc. is a ridiculous request. You're still young, so it makes total sense that you wouldn't want to spring into something that could go really wrong. Getting your tubes tied at your girlfriend's request is not supporting her, as she put it, it's *sacrificing*. Honestly, she seems really manipulative. I hope things work out for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my roommate had the guy shes been seeing over last, and during the night he was sick. They both think it was food poisoning from the sushi they had for dinner, but I and asked her to give the bathroom a wipe down with a lysol wipe anyway; to be clear there wasn't any vomit anywhere, I was more worried about contact points like taps and doorknobs.\nShe got upset with me because me asking this caused her to worry that it was something more serious and since she works with vulnerable people she called into her work to ask if she should be taking extra precautions because of this, her work said no, that she was probably fine. \nBut now she is upset with me because we hadn't previously agreed upon a cleaning procedure when someone is sick, and she doesn't think its necessary to expect someone to lysol a bathroom after someone has been sick.\nShe also works out of the house, while I'm working from home currently, so I could do the cleaning instead, and I did offer to do it once she got upset with me about the time, but shes still upset at me for bringing it up while she was getting ready for work, and the argument and her calling her work took time from that so she was running late, and it's still a new job for her.\nI'm sorry I caused her to worry, or potentially be a bit late, but I didn't want to have to wait until she got home from work to ask if the bathroom was cleaned,  and I didn't expect the question to turn into an argument that took so long... \nI'm going to clean the bathroom today while shes at work, but am I the asshole for thinking cleaning a bathroom after someone has been sick is common, and asking her to do it since it was her friend who was sick? ######","completion":" NTA. Asking her to clean up was totally fair, especially during a pandemic. Plus, even if it was just food poisoning, it’s still a good idea to disinfect *vomit* ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.\n\nI recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful. \n\nToday I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home. \n\nHe made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######","completion":" NTA. Ask your husband why his masculinity is tied to your perceived sexual orientation. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad has lived in our neighborhood for 20 years and has become best friends with our neighbor down the street. Me and the neighbor's daughter are both 15. We've been best friends since we were 4. I started crushing on her in middle school but was so nervous about telling her. \n\n\nI finally told her. I was super super nervous but told her I wanted to talk. I told her I can't keep this a secret anymore and that I think she's amazing, funny, sweet, and beautiful. I told her I had a big crush on her and asked if we could go on a date. She started crying saying she's so happy I finally asked, she was really nervous too, and she's felt the same way for so long. I was happier than I ever have been in my life. We planned a date. \n\n\nI told my dad and he was pissed. He says I'm being selfish and could hurt his friendship. He says I'm not allowed to date her. My feelings for her are so strong and I love her so I don't see myself being able to respect this rule. ######","completion":" NTA. Ask your dad why you being in relationship with her would hurt HIS friendship. \n\nIt doesn't make sense imo. The girl likes you so def NTA. and Y W B T A if you suddenly decided to break things off with her just because your dad is acting weird about it ######"}
{"prompt":"He says \"we have two incomes so we split the rent two ways and that's how it works\" but I don't feel like that's right. I'm paying rent for his wife... They're my friends and I don't want it to become an issue but I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of... I know we aren't supposed to post about interpersonal conflict so I tried to keep it just about the math. Sorry if this is against the rules, but I really need to figure this out. ######","completion":" NTA. Ask for the square footage of the apartment. Split rent any shared space (family room, common area, bathroom and kitchen) by three. Split their bedroom by two? ######"}
{"prompt":"The bride and groom have no issue, no dad (who is in church leadership, has no issue. Only my mother, who is the church secretary has an issue with me bringing my service dog, Cain, to the wedding, \"because the church has carpeting and leadership won't like it\".\n\nShe sent me a text saying \"What are you going to do with Kain during the wedding? You can't bring him in the church\". A long, drawn out phone call (because she kept yelling and I kept hanging up) and finally I called my dad, and asked him to talk to church leadership about bringing him. \n\nShe's never been very supportive and has a way of dismissing my diagnoses as \"just my depression\" or I'm \"overreacting\". She has also been acting as if Cain is just a very expensive pet, not a medical working dog. He's mobility service dog for my agrresive uncontrolled Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spondyloarthropy,  Fibromyalgia and balance issues. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. As you say, this is a legitimate service animal and so there is no risk that he does anything to the carpet. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us.  Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker\/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior.  The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common.  Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change.  The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it.  Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work.  AWTA? ######","completion":" NTA. As you noted, \"former coworker\" is several steps removed from the circle of people whose baby names thou shalt not steal. And the odds are she didn't invent this name, she was also inspired by someone else who had it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.\n\nMy mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.\nOk so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money\nSorry if I worded it badly ######","completion":" NTA. As you note, your Uncle had plenty of opportunity to leaveher the money and chose not to - it's extremely telling that he made arrangements for her kids but not her. To me, that makes it clear he had no intention of leaving her anything and instead left it to you.\n\nAccept it and do what you want with it, it's yours. If you want to give some to\/for the kids, by all means do so, but don't let her or anyone else pressure you into giving her more. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am just wondering if this was wrong for me to say. I’m on letrazol and I have endometriosis, the letrazol forces me to ovulate and is giving me some nasty side effects. To avoid being on it as long as possible, I asked if my partner to avoid masturbating and instead just hold out for our sex every second day. He got angry at me and said that evidence proves that masturbating doesn’t affect fertility. he has extremely low sperm count as it stands so I wanted to have th best chance possible with both of our issues. I said to him that we probably can’t consider these studies credible as we both have fertility issues so our situation is different. He told me that I don’t care about how he feels and that I only care about getting pregnant. I’m usually extremely understanding with him but I don’t understand how I can understand how he feels if there’s nothing that’s affecting him? I’m just confused and really lost, if I’m wrong in this please tell me. ######","completion":" NTA. As you know, they advise against having sex every day because it reduces sperm quality, if he’s jerking it, he’s doing the same thing. If he can’t keep his hands off his dick while you take drugs with horrible side effects, I posit that he’s not as committed to the baby plan as you are. ######"}
{"prompt":"    So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t. \n    \n   He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does. \n\n   Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ######","completion":" NTA. As the saying goes, play stupid games win stupid prizes. He has maturing to do and his girlfriend deserves to know so she can find someone that values her. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!\n\nMy parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing. \n\nWhat happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.\n\nTo my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:\n\nMum: “You must share your tablet”\n\nMe: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”\n\nMum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”\n\nMe: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”\n\nMum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”\n\nThis led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.\n\nAm I overreacting? Help me Reddit ######","completion":" NTA. As soon as people give something to someone as a present, it stops being theirs. Doesn’t matter how much money they spent on it. That’s the concept of a gift. It’s yours, you decide what to do with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"( On a throw-away account because she has my main account)\n\nSo my girlfriend has been talking about moving into her apartment for about a year now. I've thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea because she doesn't have a bathtub\n\nI have a health issue that causes me a lot of pain. Pain that I've discovered can be soothed by hot baths and a medical bubble bath. I of course can also take medicine that helps but the one prescribed for me to take when I'm in pain makes me feel all woozy for the rest of the day, which is not ideal when I have things to do.\n\nI specifically moved into an apartment with a bath that I currently share with a roommate. My roommate recently decided to move when our lease ends, which is making my girlfriend even more insistent about me moving in with her\n\nI've told her my concerns and why, and suggested she move onto my lease if she wants to live together or that we could find a new place with a bath. She refuses and is calling me selfish for not moving in with her just because her apartment 'isnt't nice enough for me'\n\nIt's gotten so bad that every time we text or call, she starts arguing about it and I'm afraid this is going to kill the relationship. I don't want the reason that I lose someone to be that she doesn't have a bath tub in her home.\n\nAm I being selfish for refusing to move into her apartment? Am I the A-hole for not just giving in so that I can be with her? ######","completion":" NTA. As someone with a chronic illness\/chronic pain, I very much recommend you DO NOT stay with someone who doesn't support even minor accessibilities. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nIf things are safe, We will get married in September. We want a small wedding. We only want 25 couples (or 50 people).  And because the wedding will be at a hall with an open bar we want everyone to be over 21. We invited my step-sister(shes 16 years older than me ) and her husband, but when we received the invite her plus one was my 23 year old autistic nephew. Not her husband.  “Johnny” my nephew has never spoken a word in his entire life. But he does make loud noises, constantly. He can’t sit still and if they want to calm him he plays with a very loud fire truck. \n\nI love Johnny but my wedding is not where I want him. I remember about 8 years ago Johnny was at a wedding and yelled during the moment of silence.  When his parents moved him outside you could still hear him\n\n\nAlso Johnny ONLY wears baggy grey sweats.  I want my guests to wear certain colors and grey is not one of them\n\n\nWhen I explained this to my stepsister she called me a terrible person.  My friends support me but my family are refusing to come if Johnny is not invited. \n\nAITAH in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA. As someone whose career has been centered around caring for those with developmental disabilities, I am all for inclusion. That said, dragging a severely autistic individual to an event where they will be uncomfortable and disruptive isn’t fair to them. Your sister sounds as though she’s putting her desire to be seen as a “great mom” ahead of her child’s comfort. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213\/145).\n\nBack story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control.   We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.\n\nFast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195\/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication.  I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress.  She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home.  This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either. \n\nShe burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ######","completion":" NTA. As someone who’s chronically ill, it sucks having to maintain yourself to get to some sense of normalcy - but if you’re a wife and a mother, it goes beyond you at that point. And during a pandemic no less? Not cool. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife has a problem with accountability, and I feel it stems from narcissism. At times,  I'll tell her she did something, and she'll gaslight and\/or deflect. Or she'll say something, contradict it later, then when I call her out, she'll backpedal or outright deny she said it. So to make sure I wasn't crazy, but also to keep consistency and have proof for either of us, we had a discussion, and as soon as I saw where it was headed, I secretly started recording on my phone. I figured now, there would be proof of everything either of us said, so there shouldn't be an issue.\n\nWrong. Very wrong. She contradicted herself, so I brought up the video. I played the footage where she contradicted herself, and she blew up. Saying that I was AH for recording our conversation. And saying that I set the entire thing up. But I say it's just more gaslighting. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. As someone who has lived with a narcissist spouse for 15 years I can totally relate. She is definitely gaslighting you. She knows it but she will not stop. Even you recording and showing her the evidence will not change her mind. \n\nThis should sum it up for you.\n\nNarcissist's Prayer\n\nThat didn't happen.\nAnd if it did, it wasn't that bad.\nAnd if it was, that's not a big deal.\nAnd if it is, it is not my fault.\nAnd if it was, I didn't mean it.\nAnd if I did.\nYou deserved it.\n\nRun...As fast as possible. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with \"fuck off\"\n\nAnyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John. \n\nOn the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.\n\nThey stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.\n\nI don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like \"I'm out guys, anyone coming with?\" \n\nBut it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.\n\nAITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######","completion":" NTA. As long as you aren’t being two faced, which it seems like you were pretty clear by telling him to fuck off multiple times, I see nothing wrong here ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my girlfriend and her roommate, we’re going to get our own place when her lease is up. We like to shower together, not just for sex, but it’s intimate and fun to do sometimes. We probably shower together twice a week.\n\nHer roommate asked me to stop yesterday because it’s annoying to her. She has her own bathroom with her own shower so I don’t see how it could be annoying. I asked why and she said it’s gross that she knows we’re together like that and it should be confined to the bedroom.\n\nI told her I’d talk to my girlfriend and my girlfriend thinks we shouldn’t stop. Would we be assholes if we continue? ######","completion":" NTA. As long as you aren't having super loud sex and making a ton of noise you aren't doing anything wrong. It'd be a bit different if she had to share a bathroom. Is her room close to your bathroom? ######"}
{"prompt":"Since I (17M) was 6 every so often my father and I would go camping, we’d go all the way to Wales and while there we’d go hiking\/caving\/fishing - whatever really and it’s become a tradition.\n\nLast year my dad married my stepmother Kerrie but she’s been in my life since I was 13.\n\nKerri has two children who are 9 and 6 and my dad and her are having a kid.\n\nMy dad texted me saying that the children wanted to come along with us and that he believes it’ll be a good “bonding experience”\n\nI know if they tag along it’ll be all about them as they’re clumsy and call me selfish I just don’t want them to tag along.\n\nApparently Kerrie has a whole girls week planned with my sister (14) already.\n\nI texted my dad back saying that I wouldn’t come with because it would just feel like a chore, he’s been texting me begging to reconsider that he wants Kerrie to have a break etc and that he’s already in an awkward position but he told me he’d try and drop the children off with my grandparents.\n\n\nI told my sister (not my dads daughter) to vent and she thinks I’m an AH for refusing to go and putting my dad in an awkward position according her I should suck it up and accept my new siblings.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta. As harsh as this will sound to some ..your dad decided to marry this woman and take on her kids. You didn't. Okay so she's been in your life since you were 13, but he's your dad and you need time alone without someone else's kids as a distraction. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir\/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black. \n\nAnyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \\[our family\\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'\n\nHe got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. As an East-Asian, this is very weird to me. Like he's marketing himself as a victim overcoming something he actually hasn't. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody,\n\nI live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.\n\nAcross the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket\/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the \"Nachtruhe\" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music\/tv.   \n\n\nI myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my \"Nachtruhe\" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for &gt;45 minutes).   \n\n\nI dont know any of them personally\/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.\n\n  \nThey now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. As an American (who has lived in Germany), I think it’s ridiculous that your neighbors would think that’s ok. There are so many other ways to celebrate the 4th of July that don’t involve breaking laws and annoying an entire neighborhood. Good for you for reporting them, hopefully they learned a lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife\/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.\n\nRecently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.\n\nNot too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.\n\nWhen I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.\n\nLater, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.\n\nHe told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######","completion":" NTA. As an adult (I'm assuming you're an adult cuz I don't see mention of your age) you get to decide who you want\/don't want in your life. You shouldn't be forced to talk to\/ interact with anyone due to \"family obligation\". ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M) have 3 kids with my ex wife. My daughter (17F), who is the second oldest, is turning 18 in November. 18 is a significant milestone, so I think that when your kid turns 18 you should get them a major gift. When my son (21M) turned 18, I got him a motorcycle. \n\nSo with all this happening, I thought it would be nice to ask my daughter what she wants now so I have plenty of time for it. She and my younger son are staying with my ex-wife for the time being, so I called her to talk about it. She said that she wants full body laser hair removal. She told me the estimated price and it was less than what I paid for my son's motorcycle a few years ago so I agreed and said I would cover it.\n\nLater that night I get an angry call from my ex-wife. She overheard everything and didn't like it. She was saying that I shouldn't be encouraging my daughter to be \"vain\" or \"narcissistic\" and that she thought cosmetic surgery was a scam that \"preys on women's insecurities\". I responded that our daughter will be an adult at this point and that even then, she was being unreasonable. I explained that even if she didn't personally like it, it would make our daughter happy and that's what matters here. She wasn't swayed and said that I was being inconsiderate to her by going ahead with it.\n\nTo be honest, I'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. My daughter has always been very girly and put a lot of effort into her appearance. My ex-wife has always bot liked this and would try and encourage her to focus less on how she looks. Personally I've never had an issue with her and I just want her to do what makes her feel good, just like my sons with their different interests.\n\nI've already put the money aside for it and I've called my daughter again promising I'll cover it despite her mom's objections, so I'm not changing my mind. But I'm interested in getting some outside perspective. ######","completion":" NTA. As a woman, if I could afford laser hair removal I would 100% do it. Shaving constantly is the worst, and it can cause irritation of the skin. If that’s what she wants, who care what your ex thinks? It’s not like you’re suggesting it to your daughter. ######"}
{"prompt":"This whole argument is really weird to me. Basically, I'm on my period and my boyfriend said offhand he was glad he didn't have to deal with that and said something along the lines of, \"I bet you wish you had a dick.\" To which I responded, \"no, not really.\"\n\nHe seemed kind of taken aback by that and pressed the issue of exactly why I did not want to have a dick and I basically told him male genitals seemed really uncomfortable and awkward to possess, like I don't want some meat and a nut sack just chillin in my britches. Hard pass. He got weirdly offended by this and said I was being sexist??? I told him that I observe him scratching his nuts or rearranging his junk multiple times a day and that it would make me crazy if I had to constantly attend to my genitals like that. He got so mad about this to the point he stormed off to let me \"think about\" why what I said was so upsetting.\n\nI don't get it though? Not 5 minutes earlier he was trashing vaginas and periods, but that's okay, for reasons? Y'all help me out lmao ######","completion":" NTA. As a penis owner they can be very awkward at times. And let’s be clear, you were not being sexist. Seems more so that he was. \n\nSounds like he’s looking for an argument and will take any excuse to get it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that. \n\nJust to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”. \n\nNow I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”. \n\nAt a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her. \n\nAs far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits. \n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. As a mother of 4, I can tell you, none of them care what I called them as babies, they're just happy if I get the right name on the right child the first time and don't have to resort to \"D-Mi-T ... WHOEVER!\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since I was little, I’ve loved rainbows. The basic red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet type. My wardrobe when I was little was extremely colorful.\n\nToday, I still love rainbows and love to incorporate that into my home decor and outfits. I’m cis and straight, so my rainbows aren’t connected to LGBTQ, though I do support them.\n\nWhile out shopping with a few friends, a new girl in the group mentions how brave I am for wearing rainbow in public when it isn’t even pride month. My sweatshirt had rainbow stripes. I informed her I was straight, and she seemed to be fine with it. Later however, I receive a text from her telling me I shouldn’t be wearing rainbows if I’m not apart of LGBTQ. She said it would leave people to believe I like women, and in doing so lead them on. I’ve thought about it, and can’t decide if I should stop or not. ######","completion":" NTA. As a lesbian I don't automatically assume everyone wearing a rainbow is lgbtq+. There are homophobic people though that could target you for wearing a rainbow, so you might want to consider when and where to wear rainbows. That of course depends a lot on where you live. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(30M) brother(20M) and our parents always had a horrible relationship. Parents are conservative christians, brother is gay, you get the picture. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him either since I was in university in another country already when he was 10. \n\nThe day he turned 18 he packed his stuff and left without saying a word to them. I talk to him occasionally, but he hasn’t talked to our parents in 2 years. \n\nI’m home now and yesterday was his birthday. Our parents remember it and they started saying that what he did was incredibly wrong, disrespectful, he didn’t love them etc etc. I genuinely asked if they really thought he’d love and respect them after years of them treating him like shit and said that it’s their fault that they don’t have a relationship now. They got mad,Dad blew up, he started yelling and saying that I was talking bullshit and I was being disrespectful too, taking his side. ######","completion":" NTA. As a Dad I get really sad when I see posts like this. How can you ever love your own son less for something that is out of his control? I could never ever imagine not loving my son with everything inside me.\n\nMore parents need to also realise that children are under no obligation to love their parents unconditionally. You need to earn that love. \n\nI hope your brother is ok. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened today and I feel like it was justified. So I’m standing in line at the supermarket, and this bigger guy is behind me. There’s a really long line, and I was up next to put the groceries down after about 10 minutes of waiting. The entire time I’m waiting, I hear him complaining about how long the line is and how everything is taking so long. Once the guy in front of me gets done and there’s room to put up my groceries, I finally get ahead to put my stuff down. I’m trying to do it quickly so this guy can finally have enough room to put his stuff on conveyer belt. I dropped a few things on the ground as I was doing this, and I hear him say pretty loudly, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I gave him the death stare, pointed at him and said; “I’m trying to do this shit quickly to get out of here so I don’t have to listen to your fat fucking mouth complain every 36 seconds.” He looked stunned, and didn’t say a thing after that. The cashier chuckled a bit after I said that, and I finally got out of there. Listening to that guy complain the entire time I was there was driving me nuts, and his comment lit the match for me. Was this justified, or AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. As a cashier, having someone tell off an annoying customer in front of me makes my day! ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######","completion":" NTA. Art isn't free and your price is very cheap. ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without  my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants.  Then she starts  yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Art is very personal for people and you have every right to not want your sketchbook randomly flipped through. Your mom bought the book FOR YOU as in it was a gift, legally she has no right to the book as it was gifted to you. A common fallacy in parents is thinking buying something for their kids= it belongs to them, the parent, which is simply not true. \nKeep doing you, don’t compromise on the integrity of your privacy because you have the right to it just as much as anybody else. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23f) live with my bf (25m) in an okay house. We’ve been together for 4 years and own 2 cats.\n\nOur cats like to jump into the window in the middle of the night and how they do that is by grabbing the curtain and pulling themselves up, causing the curtain to fall down. One of us usually fixes it, no problem. \n\nWell this morning, I woke up to the curtain on the floor and my bf at his desk. My bf has a routine of getting up and immediately going to his desk to work on art commissions. If I bother him while he’s in the zone, he gets pretty mad. But also during that time, he doesn’t make breakfast for himself and usually waits till I get up to ask me to make it. This morning wasn’t any different.\n\nThe thing was that I was naked under the covers and the window uncovered is the one that faces our neighbors yard. Even if it was empty, there’s still a chance of them or their kids coming out of the house at the wrong moment and seeing my bits.\n\nI asked my bf to close the curtain so I could go make him breakfast, but he told me no and to do it myself since the window is closer to me. I told him I was naked and didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and repeated the question.\n\nHe got up from his chair angry, cursing at me and telling me I was pulling “a fucking power move” on him and he kept saying it while putting the curtain up. It hurt my feelings pretty bad. I changed into my clothes and made breakfast right after.\n\nHe refuses to apologize to me still cause he feels like I was in the wrong since the window is closer to me, but I see it as me asking a simple task that takes seconds to do. AITA? Was I pulling a power move? ######","completion":" NTA. Are you sure this is the guy for you? He's got some anger management issues and treats you like a servant. He waits until you get up so you can make him breakfast every day and thinks that you asking him to do ONE really easy, really reasonable thing for you is a \"power move\"?  Sounds misogynistic. This is about more than shutting the window, think hard about it... ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller. \n\nI (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying. \n\nI got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea. \n\nTurns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff. \n\nWe have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Are you saying “detail orientated” because you don’t want to say “control freak”?  Either way, I think gathering information and being equipped with knowledge is a good thing and for what it’s worth, I think you went about things in a practical well thought out way ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped. \n\nAm I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######","completion":" NTA. Are you aware you’re in a relationship with Homer Simpson.\n\nAlso- he falls asleep snacking? Frequently? Does he ever brush his teeth? Seems like really gross behavior and poor hygiene. ######"}
{"prompt":"The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)\n\nWe have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.\n\nLast night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.\n\nMy wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.\n\nSo tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there) \n\nAs we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.\n\nI honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######","completion":" NTA. Ar those ages, they should be helping out! ######"}
{"prompt":"On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. \nMy nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life. \nMy boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying.\nMy nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes. \nI got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this. \nOne of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying \"come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard.\" And \"it'll only take 5 minutes.\" But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video. \nI'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######","completion":" NTA. Anyone with the slightest amount of empathy can understand you are not in the frame of mind to be partaking in such frivolous shite. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.\n\nA year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he \"loved me\". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.\n\nI decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######","completion":" NTA. Anyone that tells you that you need to keep someone in your life because they are family is toxic as hell in their own right. Your sister sounds like a grade A bitch and you were right to get rid of her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents and I have been having an argument. My parents sat me down and asked me about my grades. I told them all the ones that I know. Some of my teachers don't post the grades to Google Classroom so I don't know what some of them are. I have 4 confirmed a's (3 are above 95%) and 3 b's. I'm in 8th grade. Right now I get 2 30 minute sections of game time per day after I do school, homework, and the extra 1hr of math that my mom tells me to do. Our school has a placement test for high school that helps the teachers decide what math class to put us in. I ***chose*** to be put into the 'lower' (i don't know a better word) math class. I've been not doing as good as my parents want me to in math. This happened during the grade conversation. My parents after hearing that I chose to be put into that math class got very mad that I didn't want to go the the higher math.\n\nAbout an hour after I told them the grades that I know and that I was going to the 'lower math', they told me to study more. I've been studying more, about 2-3 hours each day+studying during classes. They cut my video game time down to 1 30 minutes after they have checked to see if I've done all my homework. I got mad and asked them why, and my mom said, \"We are done talking about this.\" After that I went and studied math for an extra hour to try to make them happy. They are still mad at me for having the grades that I have atm. I'm studying more, but they don't seem to see it.\n\nAITA for getting mad in this argument enough that my parents had to shut me down?\n\nsorry for rambling ######","completion":" NTA. Anyone ever feel like these parents didn’t get those kinds of grades themselves? ######"}
{"prompt":"##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.\n\n###### Long story short: \nI'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.\n\n###### The situation: \nPeople often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples: \n\n&gt; Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very \"Canadian\" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say \"ah I didn't expect that\" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).\n\nOr \n&gt; People who end up saying \"it's impressive you don't have an accent\" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).\n&amp;nbsp;\n\nOr \n&gt; Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the \"asian products' aisle.\n\nI am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world. \n\n###### AITA for not answering these types of comments? \nShould I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######","completion":" NTA. And you sound like the most awesome person ever.\n\nIn a way, I can relate. I have a daughter with Down Syndrome. She gets lots of stares, and more than a few awkward comments. I can usually tell from body language and expression if someone is being cruel or just well-meaning clueless. ######"}
{"prompt":"i’m 22 years old and in graduate school. my only i come is from part time stipend as a graduate assistant. i don’t have a car, and i’m currently saving towards that as well as dental and optometry work. in order to save, i severally cut down on my food\/fun allowance. i live on a very strict budget and after a year of saving i finally half about $2000 saved up. \n\nmy dad asked me for money saying that he is in debt and people are on his neck. he doesn’t plan to return the money. for some reason he thinks i’m well off because i don’t complain about my hardships even though i’ve made several comments on my facebook and to him directly about how i desperately need a car because i’m in a small town with no transportation, i don’t live close to family and i have no way of getting around. i also have medical expenses that need to be covered. \n\nhe has these ways of guilt tripping me or making me seem selfish when i deny his request. and i know that the requests will never stop coming. for example my sister who is 26, has about 1000$ in savings because she’s constantly helping out. i’m still in grad school. all my mates have their parents paying for their car and healthcare, while i have to save tooth and nail to make it through and save for my needs.\n\nam i an asshole for denying to help my dad, even though i have $2000 in savings but i desperately need that money for my expenses? i did offer him $50 and i wonder if that was disrespectful? ######","completion":" NTA. And you might want to think about making a few complaints to your dad about your financial situation and hardships. If your dad is in debt with \"people on his neck,\" it's not like he's in debt from buying too many groceries. He's got to deal with the consequences of his actions, and it's not up to you to bail him out. Don't feel guilty. Do not, under any circumstances, let your dad know that you have savings built up. Your financial situation isn't something you want to be discussing with your dad, as it doesn't sound like it's a safe topic. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking. \n\nFor years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he \"didn't actually have a problem \". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out. \n\nAbout three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids. \n\nHe started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol. \n\nI told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded \"Good. I want you to feel the way I do.\"\n\nI don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ######","completion":" NTA. And with a reaction like that, I think you were probably correct in your assumption that he was drinking again. He needs to have a conversation with his sponsor asap.  If you have the sponsors information, you might want to give him or her a call and ask them to get in touch with your husband and explain what happened. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)\n\nYesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that \"mom and dad hate me and I don't know why\". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.\n\nFast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?\n\nTLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######","completion":" NTA. and when honestly your parents decided to BE parents they should’ve considered that their children aren’t going to be perfect ######"}
{"prompt":"Im on mobile.\n\nMe(F15)\nMom(F36)- “Mom”\nStepdad(M34)- SD\n\n So i’m visiting my mom this week (my dad has full custody and i just visit my mom sometimes) and it’s that time of the month. I’ll try not to go into too many details but basically yeah i dispose of everything the way it needs to be disposed so i didn’t think there would be a problem.\n\nMy mom came up to me last night and said i made my stepdad “uncomfortable” for “making him look at my feminine products”. i instantly got embarrassed and told her i’ve always made sure i disposed of everything properly. Then she says, “oh no, not the thing itself but the wrapper” Which confused because like, it’s a wrapper? I’m a 15 year old girl, sorry i have a period? \n\nShe asked if i could start throwing it away in the garage trash so he wouldn’t have to see it in the bathroom trash. we have 3 BATHROOMS. One in their room, one in the hall upstairs, and one in the hall downstairs, i always use the one downstairs because my room is in the basement. If he doesn’t want to see it he can use one of the two other bathrooms. I told her i wasn’t gonna stuff my trash in my pocket and walk to the garage just because he can’t handle looking at a wrapper. She claims i’m being ridiculous and stubborn and that he shouldn’t have to walk upstairs anytime he’s in the living room just because i won’t throw my trash in a different place. I told her he can get over it.\n\nAITA?\n\nTL;DR: my stepdad is apparently uncomfortable with my feminine product wrapper and refuses to use one of the other two bathrooms we have so my mom is forcing me to throw my trash in the garage. ######","completion":" NTA. And we can all see there's a good reason your dad got full custody. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife (30F) just gave birth to our first baby boy. Her father, 70M, often says the n word and is just in generally not very accepting of the black community. He has gotten so much worse in the past week with all of the current events: throwing the n word around left and right and just being discriminatory. I guess that this is just the “old generation” but nonetheless that is completely a dealbreaker for me. \n\nI have put up with family gatherings with him for our entire relationship. If it was my father I’d cut him off immediately but I can’t make that decision for her so I keep my peace. I have told him I don’t like the word respectfully but he just keeps doing it. I’m old enough to make to decisions, my child is just born and will absorb what is around him. \n\nI told my wife I do not want him around our son unless he refuses to say the word. He says he will say whatever he wants because he’s 70 years old and my wife agrees and thinks I am being controlling. I think I have good morals and want what is best for my kid. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And no, it’s not a generational thing. Lots of people from that generation know not to say it. 70s is not that old anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"Loaned niece $1000 for her wedding expenses a few years ago; my sister asked for the loan on her behalf because she was too proud\/shy... but when I said yes niece thanked me profusely. Niece has never paid any of it back, but sister paid just over half of it for her until I said STOP because it's not her debt (my sister barely makes ends meet). \nFFWD to now; no family get togethers lately due to COVID, so no bday gift (usually a card with around $100) for niece back in March. After recently dropping off a gift at sister's for another family member, niece tells her mother \"Oh, well, Uncle didn't get me anything for my bday\". \nI admit that I still think about the money owed -not hurting for it, but just the principle of the thing and that I feel taken for granted ...miffed that not even an attempt has been made by her to pay ANY of it back. So I was thinking 'fuck it' and would skip her $ present this year (maybe she would subtly get why, perhaps?). I'm pretty annoyed that she would bring it up to her mother like that; she is 25 years old now! However, in the interest of not causing a rift with my sister (or possibly the rest of the family), I am debating giving her belated birthday $ at the next family function... thoughts? ######","completion":" NtA. And no gift.\n\nMake sure your niece knows why, though.\n\nAre you positive she knows it was a loan and not a gift? Because if she knew then she should pay back the full $1000, with your sister being paid back as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I bought some of my moms favourite food for mother's day. We were eating together when my sister took the last peice of cake(which was meant for my mom) and I said don't eat that. She responded by stating that 'why do I care what she eats' and I proceed to tell her I paid for the food and it's meant for mom. She started ranting about how unfair it was and I'm not letting her eat in peace and stormed off . My mom also supported her stating that I should not have said anything and let her eat the cake (it was her favourite raspberry cheesecake). Aita? ######","completion":" Nta. And it’s a typical mom\nRespond of I won’t eat it so my children do. And your sis is an ass for not saving a piece for your mom when your the one that paid for it. Maybe next time just cut out a piece for your mom, put it in the fridge with your moms name. Out of site out of mind thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends. \n\nA lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy. \n\nI’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And it really sounds like your husband should stop acting like a child. If he want's to have sex, he should wait until you're in the mood and not get high.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEdit: this honestly reads like any Seth Rogen movie :D Tell your husband to get his shit together. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.\n\nI finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling \"Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse.\" They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.\n\nI thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And if your mother is going to take away you for phone for cussing them out then don't look after them anymore. You were doing your parents a favour by babysitting your siblings, they disrespected you, and YOU are the one punished? It seems like this is all on their terms, not yours. If you are to be treated like a child, then you shouldn't be expected to be an adult and babysit them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title seems bad but bare with me.\n\nLast February my grandad passed away, he lived with my grandma and my aunt and he used to be the person they both relied on heavily. After his passing my grandma kinda gave up in life and stopped eating, sleeping and such, it got so bad that she started having hallucinations where she saw “little girls asking for food”. \n\nWe decided to bring her to a doctor who diagnosed her with severe depression and a mild senile dementia and prescribed some medication for them.\n\nMy family for various cultural reasons think that either you are completely sane or you should be confined in a mental hospital, there is no inbetween.\n\nOnce back home after a couple of days I checked in with my aunt to see if the medication started working or if there was any side effects we should worry about and she told me not to worry. At the end of the week I checked again and to my surprise grandma was getting worse, I asked my aunt what happened and the told me they were not gonna give her the medication since grandma “was not mad” and “just needed family support”.\n\nAt this point I decided to go every morning and evening to eat with her and help out, I prepared breakfast and dinner for her and following the papers the doctor gave us I slipped the medication into her food.\n\nAfter a week or week and a half we started to see some progress, less hallucinations, she started to eat and sleep more by her own will...\n\nMy family saying that thanks to the family support she got better and that medicine wasn’t at all needed and how this proved she was not “mad”. I got fed up with the bs and told everyone what I had done.\n\nAll hell broke loose and I was banned from grandma’s house and everyone stopped talking to me for being the one who said my grandma was “mad” (never said so, just said she needed help). AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And if they continue to deny her medications, you need to involve adult protective services to intervene. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city. \n\nMy father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.  \n\nMy father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling. \n\nI don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them. \n\nSo WIBTA? \n\nTLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######","completion":" NTA. And I would see if there is anyway you can get custody of your brother. Is your father abusive? Is your mom willing to leave? Really, until your mom is ready to stand up to him, and leave , your brother is going to be under his control until he dies. And that is a horrible thought, but you didn’t do this and it’s not your fault. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year. \n\n\nWe live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway. \n\n\nSo shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one. \n\n\nHis lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision. \n\n\n\nHe has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago. \n\n\nI don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on. \n\n\nI can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######","completion":" NTA. And I recommend doing some deep thinking about whether or not you want to continue to be in a relationship with this man. You’ve broken up twice and told him not to get a job in your current town. It doesn’t sound like you really want to be with him for the long haul. You both deserve better than this relationship as it stands. ######"}
{"prompt":"It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could. \n\nMy dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her. \n\nI get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######","completion":" NTA. And I highly doubt she would find out if it means anything. What does she do, weight the box every night? ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my brother are wildly different people, I don't like to think I'm an \"extrovert\" but I do enjoy being out with my friends.  I do ok in school, not the best but not the worst I am pretty average so I won't be getting a scholarship to a good college anytime soon.  My brother on the other hand is VERY gifted academically, I'm a year older but he's in my grade and it has been like that since I was like 6 or 7.  He is very introverted and while he does have a friend group he told me he has never talked to them outside of school, he also looks down on anyone who isn't in the top 10 academically at our school (all his friends are in the top 10).  They constantly talk down to people at the school and I know this may sound mean but no one likes them cause they are just assholes to everyone and they think no one likes them cause they are smart and everyone is jealous.  \n\nYesterday, I wanted to go get lunch with my friends but my dad told me I couldn't cause he didn't want me to waste the gas or something can't really remember.  I gave a kind of joking grunt and said ok and I wasn't gonna go, my brother straight up said \"Maybe instead of going out with your friends you can work on your studies and get your grades up to mine (I am a solid B with the occasional C student).  I wasn't having it cause he ALWAYS does this sort of crap and looks down on everyone (especially me), I straight up told him this “dude you and your friends are uptight losers who think your better than everyone cause your smart.  College is gonna be a real ass kicker cause you are not nearly as smart as you think you are.  He said (and I quote) “what did you just fucking say?”  I told him I wasn’t in the mood to fight and went to my room.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And he is suffering big fish in little pond syndrome. You were absolutely correct that college is gonna be an eye opener. ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.\n\nI assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.  \nShe installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.  \nAnd she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.  \n\n\nI only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.  \n\n\nI told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:  \n\n\n\\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else  \n\n\n\\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards  \n\n\nShe's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ######","completion":" NTA. And frankly, don't lend your laptop except with a guest account with no rights. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.\n\nI''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.\n\nThat was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######","completion":" NTA. And for future reference never actually tell your boss things like that, they are always looking to screw people out of money. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20f, college sophomore) had 300 dollars in my savings account that I put there after I got paid for my work study job. Last week I went on my account and it’s gone. I went to my dad about it and he said he moved it somewhere else to save. I very politely said that since it’s my money from my work I would appreciate him putting it back and not touching it in the future. Fast forward to tonight, it’s still not back so I go to him again and he starts going on about how he can show me where he put it, that he won’t be moving it back to my account, and that I have no right to be upset. I said, okay, you have until tomorrow or I’m making my own back account for my work checks. (He has access to my current one bc it’s also where my college tuition, which he pays for, is paid from). He told me I was being a brat, that I am not to go off making my own account, and that I should appreciate him saving my money for me since I’m a bad spender. I tried to go to my mom about it and she said the same thing. \n\nI admit I sometimes overspend, but I’m still upset over this because I feel like since I’m an adult, they need to let me learn how to save my money now and if I end up blowing it, I blow it and that’s on me. If I don’t learn that the hard way without mommy and daddy helping me now, when am I supposed to? But all that said, AITA?\n\nEDIT: mentioned this in a reply and was told I should add this to the original post. Since my parents found out I was gay this past October, their financial support has been completely dependent on my not coming out anywhere publicly. If I so much as said “I’m gay” on Facebook all financial support would be cut. ######","completion":" NTA. And for all you young folks out there, it's not normal to have a shared bank account with your parents and to put your paychecks in an account they have access to. Get your own bank account. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months. \n\nA was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.\n\n2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb\/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind. \n\nMy original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. And as a muslim myself i can assure you it's prohibited for her to act this ungrateful. \n\nI can only dream to have friends and family to do this for me smh . ######"}
{"prompt":"So this one surprisingly will be a short post, because if I go to detail I will need at least 20000+ words because I don’t want to give some details and leave out others and also it hurts as fuck to write such a painful story.\n\nBasically my (24f) girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just before quarantine which had spread to almost everywhere and her life expectancy is a year at most, and with her doctors’s help and even after the quarantine we discussed if she would be able to make our travel plan with her condition in around October and the doctor told us there was an 90% chance she could , and we made a perfect plan to make all her checklist and travel dreams come true -which sadly none of which she has yet done-.\n\nBut fast forward and I find her phone and find out that she was cheating for about half a year on Mr and the last time she contacted the affair partner was the day of her diagnosis.\n\nWhen I found out I just confronted her and told her “she deserves this” and left.\n\nShe has been calling me daily ever since and begging to make the travel thing -and it makes me really sad to see her like this but still she was cheating for a year and a half on me-\n\nSo I dropped all the plans with her and when I told her,  she was absolutely crushed and so was I.\n\nThis has been fucking with me ever since.\n\nAITA Reddit?\n\nI’m just so depressed and mentally drained at this point ######","completion":" NTA. An unfortunate situation but cheating for me is zero tolerance. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my girlfriend tell each other we love the other and have been dating for a year. We got together our senior year of high school.\n\nThe first time I told her I love her while she was naked she got upset. We had told each other we love the other many times before but this was the first time I told her I love her while she was naked. She said to not tell her that when she is naked because it isn't genuine love when she is naked, she said the emotion I feel when I see her naked is lust. I tell her I always feel love for her but I am obviously more attracted to her when she is naked. I stopped saying it when she was nude because she would not like it and would repeat those reasons.\n\nI accidentally let an I love her slip when she was naked and she got really upset saying I'm confusing love for lust. Whenver I say it while she is clothed she says it back to me happily. ######","completion":" NTA. An anecdote, if you will.  My husband  and I have been together for about thirty years. He still tells my breasts he loves them, and I’m sure it’s true love just as I’m sure that your love for your naked girlfriend is as real as it is when she’s clothed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS. \n\nMy boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.\n\nWhen he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.\n \nThe reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.\n\nHe said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush. \n\nEither way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants. \n\nAnyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. Amazing how he thinks that throwing a tantrum over a toothbrush is the manly choice to make. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend of 3 years and I recently just decided to end our relationship, and thus will no longer be attending the wedding of another couple. We both felt it would be nice for another couple to be able to take our place as opposed to either of us finding a +1. We gave the bride and groom over 2 weeks notice; basically the day we broke up so we wouldn’t have foreseen and notify them any earlier. These are the texts we received tonight\n-Hey man, so I totally get it that you’re unable to attend and I hope it doesn’t sound like a being a dick or anything but we just got confirmation from the venue that we have to pay for all the guests we already reported... so hopefully you’re all good with still paying for the plates since it was so last minute :)\n- Hey, The venue just informed us that we would have to pay for your plate and his plate since it hasn’t been cancel enough in advance\nI feel so bad about the situation you are in but unfortunately we can’t afford to pay for the two plate ... if only we knew more than a week in advance or so it would have been different .\n\nPersonally, I feel with previous actions too they have shown they’re not so much friends and their priorities are showing. This wedding feels more like a business transaction and less of a day for love. This made both my ex girlfriend and I even question getting a gift for them now. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Am I the only one who thinks it’s tacky anyway to make your guest pay for their own food at your wedding? ######"}
{"prompt":"&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Am I reading this right and your brother spent *$40,000* on an engagement ring and it STILL wasn't good enough for her? JFC.\n\n>told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey.\n\nLOL. Even more reason for your bro to break up with her.\n\nI'd also reconsider your friendships with your friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.\n\nMy husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled. \n\nWell the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident\/illness at the dinner table? ######","completion":" NTA. Although you should have thrown the drink at him and said how dare you speak in English about me and my husband and stormed off. Just so he could be confused as to what the fuck happened. ######"}
{"prompt":"Im in a group chat with a some friends and one of the girls was forced to confess during a game we were playing that she likes men with hairy legs. It was sort of embarrassing but not so much for her I guess. I then sent the group chat a pic of my hairy legs. Bunch of other guys do the same and its hilarious. \n\nThen one girl in the group chat then says Im a horrible person for doing that because i have a gf and its the equivalent of sending a girl nudes. All of us start texting in the chat things like Lol because nobody thought she was serious, well low and behold she tells my gf I'm sending that girl innapropiriate photos and my gf calls me and screams at me saying I'm a horrible person and shit. I told her to chill out and explained it. We then removed that bitch from the group and don't let her play with us. \n\nShe says we need to forgive her and she was looking out for other girls. Some of the group want her  back in but the others don't. I told her to fuck off when she tries to apologize and get back in. ######","completion":" NTA. Although it's a little concerning that your GF automatically trusted this girl's word before even asking you about it in a mature way. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?\n\nLast summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding. \n\nI am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######","completion":" NTA. Although I suggest letting your cousin know what you are planning to do before actually hiring another photographer. Just be honest, and tell her that you need the pictures now, otherwise you are going somewhere else for them. You also have to think about why she isn’t sending them. Maybe softly ask her if there is a reason. You never know; it’s possible that the files could have gotten deleted\/corrupted, or the pictures didn’t turn out how she liked and she doesn’t want to tell you or let you see. ######"}
{"prompt":" A girl I have never met before added me on FB, we had a few mutuals including one I'm very good friends with, so I accepted it, and then she sent me a message out of the blue telling me she thought I was cute and wanted to date me. I politely said no and made an excuse I was already seeing someone, apparently, our mutuals told her I was very nice.\n\nI saw that she had a few months old baby from a previous relationship, she was also a teen mom. I had never met this girl, had never been in a relationship and didn't want the responsibility of looking after her child as I am not good with children but do not hate them, and I was just plain not interested in general. She asked if we could be friends and in my meekness I said 'sure' but tried my best to keep her at arms length, I saw that she was one of those people who likes to air their drama on FB and honestly it just wasn't something that I wanted to get into. She then started messaging me asking if we could talk but I made the excuse of saying I was busy etc. Eventually, the messages off her became persistent and I blocked her.\n\nHer friends are now telling people a story that I coldly rejected her because she had a kid when this is the farthest thing from and making me out to be some misogynist and jerk. I just wasn't interested in this girl whom I had never met before. Am I the asshole? because I feel like I am. ######","completion":" NTA. Also, you should only friend people who actually treat you like friends.  These friends of hers are not your friends, and neither is she.  You handled yourself quite well given the situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.\n\nMe and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.\n\nAnyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \\[the restaurant\\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.\n\nAm I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######","completion":" NTA. Also, why is she picking where you get to eat for your birthday? The rule in my family is that the birthday person always gets to pick where they eat for their birthday meal. Even my kid who has a NYE birthday gets to pick where he goes, we just need to be organised enough to book 4-6 weeks before the day because everyone wants to go out on NYE. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nI know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######","completion":" NTA. Also, pretty sure Corona precautions mean they can’t re-sell the food anyway.\n\n\nWe’ve had a couple of times over the last few months where we’ve got wrong \/ additional\/ mixed up orders, every single time we’ve been told to keep what we’ve got and had the correct one sent out as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby. \n\nMy girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room. \nI suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.\n\nHer mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her. \n\nHer mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?\n\nSide note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######","completion":" Nta. Also, have why can't these meet ups take place somewhere else? Tell your girlfriend to speak to her mother and explain that you're actually being very generous allowing her round in the first place.\n\nHaving said that, I would try to say hi to the family before you excuse yourself (anxiety allowing). ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.\n\nI finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling \"Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse.\" They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.\n\nI thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Also tell your mom you wont be cooking for them anymore if she wants to take your phone away. Yes not feeding kids is considered child abuse, but then its a good thing that they're not your kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up we were not close with my dad’s family at all. All holidays and special occasions were done with my mom’s family and it was clear as I got older that there was some tension between my mother and my dad’s side of the family. As a teen, I had resentment towards my mom because I felt like she was keeping us from my dad’s family.\n\nOnce I became an adult, my mom told me how poorly she was treated by my dad’s family, mainly his sister. It was bad. My dad’s mom passed away a few years ago (she was a single parent) and my dad really does not have much living family left. \n\nI got engaged at the beginning of the year. My dad must have told my aunt because she immediately called me to congratulate us. I had not spoken to her since my grandmother’s funeral years ago. I then received a friend request from her on FB and was very surprised, because that means at one point she had to have unfriended me. (It wasn’t a new account and we definitely were FB friends a few years ago.) Once I accepted her request she took our engagement photos from my FB and posted them on her page for all her friends to ooh and ahh over.  She is one of those people that always has to show off and needs attention and validation from others. She even asked me to send her a close up of my ring, to which I said no.\n\nMy fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are currently working on our guest list and I really don’t want to invite her. I feel like she would be there for all the wrong reasons. I also don’t want my mom to be uncomfortable, even though she would never tell me if she was. My mom is a saint. I do feel bad because that is my dad’s sister and I know it would mean a lot to him if she was there.\n\nAITA for not wanting my aunt at my wedding? ######","completion":" NTA. Also NTA if you block her and make FB take down your engagement pics she stole. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened tonight on reddit lol so it's still fresh and I'm heated and annoyed. I am a high school senior trying to choose between colleges. I made a reddit post tonight on one of the college's subs. A professor commented on my post and that's the part that went downhill...\n\nProf: What's better - going to a more prestigious school but not graduating in Engineering or going to a good school and graduating in Engineering?\n\nMe: If I'm going to struggle in Engineering, wouldn't it be better to go to the better school? \"I know ivy league colleges have higher graduation rates overall so it  seems like that's a safer bet in case I can't make it in Engineering\"\n\nProf: Highights the quoted part above and replies \"Not sure where you came up with that. The available stats suggest the opposite\"\n\nThen basically it devolves into me asking for that data and the professor either ignoring me or giving me irrelevant data that doesn't back up that claim. I then made a post directly asking if they were just ignoring my request for data when they said \"the available stats suggest the opposite\". They then replied that they did not say that.\n\nSo I looked back and they edited their post to say \"Not sure where you came up with that. Is it college specific?\". Luckily another user sent me screenshots so I have proof they edited their post. \n\nI just asked for a professor to be professional and address the claim they made, but instead, they edited their post and act like I'm being unreasonable. It's infuriating because I thought I was being somewhat respectful to an extent, asking the professor for the data and giving an opportunity to prove their point. Anyway, I know it's petty but WIBTA if I made a post on that sub (if allowed) to see if they'll hold their professor accountable or if they will just be professional? ######","completion":" NTA. Also just read through the thread, jeez that prof sounds like an asshole ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent\/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.\n\nMy parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.  \n\nHusband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.\n\nMy husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. Also have him start logging every time he gives her or them money and how much. Dates, amounts, what it’s for (if possible). It might make your case easier and it’s sometimes easier to see things when they are in black and white like that. Also I mean this as separate from whatever budgeting and balancing the checkbook you all do. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.\n\nWe’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.\n\nShe pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.\n\nI didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. All your sister is doing is continuing to foster poor socialization in men. There is NOTHING wrong with having emotions. I wouldn't scream at her or anything, but not wanting to participate in a movie with her one time because you feel an apology is owed is definitely not an AH thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).\n\nLast week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.\n\nToday during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said \"I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on\". \n\nI told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his \"context-appropriate\" words.\n\nThe conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. All words have denotation and connotation. Denotation is the definition you’d find in the dictionary. Connotation is what we associate with a word. Think about the word “bird”. What comes to mind? For most people, it’s going to be a very birdlike bird, a smallish songbird like a robin or a sparrow. For most people, birds like ostriches, penguins or pelicans, while still birds, don’t exemplify the birdy qualities they associate with the word “bird” on its own. So, for example, when you say “she eats like a bird”, you mean “she eats very daintily like a sparrow”, not “she forces large amounts of food down her gullet whole like a pelican”. No one would understand your meaning in the second example because pelicans don’t exemplify “birdieness” despite still technically being birds. \n\nWith “incompetent”, the definition “doesn’t know how to do a thing” is the denotation. The connotation is “stupid, SHOULD know how to do a thing but doesn’t”. That is how we actually USE the word. We do not call a brand new employee “incompetent” on their first day because they haven’t learned the job yet. We call the employee whose work is still riddled with mistakes after five years “incompetent” because they should know better, but don’t. \n\nAll this to say, your husband is being pedantic about the ~technically correct~ definition of the word. It’s not used that way, and unless he is an ESL speaker who doesn’t understand the connotation, he knows that. He knows well and good he was insulting you and calling you names, he just doesn’t want to apologize. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband worked a very long shift today. I worked my normal 8 hour shift. When he gets home from work, I start dinner because he insists on showering AND taking an hour long bath. Fine, he wants to unwind. But today. Oh today. He comes in the house and the following conversation ensues:\n\nH: “what’s for dinner?”\nMe: “I can make pulled pork sandwiches with Mac and cheese. Grilled chicken and Cesar salad, or that lasagna your mom dropped off.”\nH: “you spend $70 on groceries this week and those are our choices?”\nMe: “I did the grocery shopping on Saturday. It’s Thursday, that’s what we have left. And meat is expensive.” \nH: “Well none of those sound good.”\nMe: “Fine. We can get takeout then.”\nH: “I don’t want to spend the money.”\nMe: “okay, then pick something we have here. We’ve got frozen meals in the freezer I can do.”\nH: “Nothing we have sounds good.”\nMe: “I’m making the pulled pork. If you don’t like it, you can cook something for yourself.” \n\nI gave up. I walked away, I’m so annoyed. I’m 6 months pregnant and very tired, and I have been craving pulled pork for DAYS. That’s what I made, and he got angry that I didn’t make something he wanted. AITA for cooking what I wanted when he wouldn’t make a decision? ######","completion":" NTA. All that sounds delicious, can I have his share? I'll say 'thank you' and everything! ######"}
{"prompt":"Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out.\n\nMe and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other.  Now I want to make a few things clear: \n\n\n1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.)\n\n2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so.\n\n3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind.\n\n\nRecently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter.\n\n\nIt’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill.\n\n I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no\n\nNext time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me”\nI got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy.\n\nI have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. All of you told him it was a joke. He should have asked Amie first if the jokes are hurting her or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before. \n\nSo both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time. \nI do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######","completion":" NTA. All I'm seeing here is a 17-year-old being thrown into an impossible situation, and dealing fairly well with it. Taking toilet paper out of reach is a normal reaction, and having kids go into time-out is also a normal thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16M) don't want kids. Not because I don't want to care them but it's more of something to do with my own mother in particular. In general, she's alright but when she gets angry (which is like most of the time) she can say some things no mother should be saying to her child.\n\nI had it tough since I could remember. Whenever I done something wrong, she'd call me names and sometimes even say right to my face that she wishes I wasn't born or that she \"struggles to see how any girl would love me\". Maybe she was just stressed out, I don't know.\n\nAnd then there were those times where she just made marriage (or any relationship) seem like a tough and torturous thing to do. Not directly, but indirectly by arguing a lot with Dad, saying \"I wish I could go back\", which I remember hurt Dad and myself a lot that day. Stuff like that.\n\nOver time and a lot of thought, I've decided to not have kids. It sure seems stressful, right? I made that known to my mother when she went on another one of her usual bursts of rage at me. She brought up \"I don't know how your wife will handle you.\" to which I said \"Fine, I'm not planning to have kids anyway.\"\n\nShe didn't expect that and was taken aback. My parents are traditional so being a grandparent is sort of an expectation to them. A desire. I let her know of all the stuff she's said and that **she's** the reason why I don't want to have any offspring or be involved in any relationship whatsoever. It looks complicated. She's **not** going to be a grandmother. I'm perfectly fine having only myself as my priority.\n\nTo my surprise, she nearly cried and didn't say anything after that. My dad didn't do anything about it either. As abusive as my mum can get, it still pains me to see her so down and I'm wondering if what I said was selfish and quite stupid.\n\nAm I the asshole for putting all the blame on her? ######","completion":" NTA. all her snide remarks have made their impact on you over time and i think that realization that she is the reason she's not getting the grandkids she may be desiring hit her in the face like a brick. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life. \n\nDespite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him. \n\nYesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away. \n\nI do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.\n\nAITA for ignoring her? ######","completion":" NTA. Alison has disrespected you, your family and your grief. She doesn't deserve your friendship or recognition. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside. \n\nLast night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort. \n\nWhen I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid. \n\nI grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read: \n\n“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”. \n\nThey ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox. \n\nAm I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash. \n\nFor clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######","completion":" NTA. Aiming fireworks into someone else's property is SO dangerous. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.\n\nMy half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister. \n\nTold me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground. \n\nMy mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######","completion":" NTA. After reading the comments you’re better off at your dad’s. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. She has always told me that she hates her name. I’m going to use a fake name here for obvious reasons, but it’s similar, for example it’s something like her name is Kathryn and she goes by Katie. She chooses to go by “Katie” (or the real shorter version of her name) because to her it is the best version of her name. She detests her full name purely because it sounds “grandmaish” to her and she wishes it was something else.\n\nKatie has always been a dancer and a couple of years ago, she got into burlesque dancing. She started entering amateur competitions and goes to conventions as well. I support her doing so, it’s a fun hobby for her. A part of her being in the burlesque community is having a stage name. She chose to go by “Gypsy” during her shows and yes, that is really what she chose, not making it up. For the first year she just used it for shows but then slowly started using it in her every day life. She changed her Instagram name to reflect that and then changed her name badge at work, followed by her FB profile. \n\nAround NYE’s she asked everyone in her life, me included, to start calling her Gypsy. I said no.  I think it’s a fine nickname but it’s not her name. I further said that expecting everyone to call her something else was ridiculous when we all knew her as “Katie” and she needed to leave her Burlesque persona on the stage. I also pointed out in some communities her name was considered a slur and she needed to rethink it. She got upset and said it was her name, she could change it. \n\nMost of our friends call her “Gypsy” now, but her family and I still call her Katie. Recently, she posted a long rant on Instagram about her name change not being respected. Keep in mind, she didn’t legally change her name. She got some backlash from her community, telling her to keep her persona on stage, some said I and her family were assholes. Am I being an ass here? ######","completion":" NTA. Actually, that term is a slur used against the Romani people, so it's not an appropriate name for her to use ######"}
{"prompt":"Post ahead so get in. \n\nBackstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.\n\nNow i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]\n\nL is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like \"I miss the homies and the drugs\". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit. \n\nI've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say \"Its her life, let her do what she pleases\" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to \"Stay in my lane\"\n\nShe recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs. \n\nEdit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like \"You cant tell me what to do.\" I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.\n\n Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. Actually, I think you might be an asshole if you DON'T report this. No other adults in this child's life are stepping up, and it's truly honorable that you are trying to.\n\nPlease be aware though, that this will cause a massive rift in your family. They may suspect that you reported, and there could be significant fallout. I wish you the best, and I'm proud of you for looking out for your sister, even if she won't see it that way. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were stuck in line for a half hour to get into a store and he wouldn’t stop looking over at the pretty woman in a super short dress reading a book called “sex and rage.” He made multiple comments about her book but it was very clear he was looking at her sexually - she was very pretty and showing a lot of skin (no hate, just fact).\n\nWIBTA if I told my bf that that made me uncomfortable today that it was so blatant and for so long and even commented on? I mentioned in line he kept staring and he didn’t say anything in response but I don’t see him responding to this well since he’s not very empathetic or emotionally mature. ######","completion":" NTA. actually I encourage it. It’s very disrespectful of both her and you, actually. He’s not a child and can control himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain\n\nOkay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income\/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.\n\nI have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.\n\nSo for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.\n\nI am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??\n\nSo reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?\n\nEdit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######","completion":" NTA. Absolutely make a complaint. That’s some rude nonsense there ######"}
{"prompt":"I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice. \n\nTLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######","completion":" NTA. Absolutely let her know. Sounds like a crime has been committed and if you're pretty sure she wouldn't have allowed it to be posted then she needs to know ASAP. ######"}
{"prompt":" For context: My SIL and her baby-daddy are living with her parents. For a few days she kicked out her baby-daddy because of his late night perusing, as she'd put it. Then her mom filled me and my hubby in that he'd actually been cheating on her with another woman from church, and later MIL told us that she'd actually found that he'd been using their daughter's blankets and clothes as cumrags.\n\nDeeply disturbed, my hubby and I spoke to a therapist about the whole situation, and the therapist ended up calling cps. They're doing an investigation and baby-daddy has to leave the house for the duration.\n\nNow the family is out for blood. They blame ME specifically (but not hubby, who was with me 100% of the way) for the whole situation. I've gotten horrible messages from FIL telling me I've ruined his family. They all know the reason I have a therapist is because of severe depression and anxiety, and now I'm beginning to feel really depressed again.\n\nI didn't ask my MIL to supply me the information she did, and actually was trying to tell her all along that I didn't want her to tell me these things. They don't blame her. They don't blame baby-daddy for his inappropriate behavior and were willing to let him back into the home with open arms.\n\nAnd yet I can't help but feel like I've turned everything to mud. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. A therapist is a mandated reporter, but it's not like they just report to CPS if there's no concern. There was enough concern her for the therapist to call CPS, and CPS to proceed with an investigation - nothing about that is your fault. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.\n\nThe buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.\n\nI urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.\n\nBut now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA. A store wouldn’t have a returns policy better than you’ve offering, so why should you? ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nMe and my ex wife split and she has major custody and I have only 20% custody. I pay 1000 dollars in child support each month and I expect it to go to the child and not for her to use. Anyway today I saw on face book that my ex posted a picture about her brand new cellphone which was around 900 dollars and said how her ex bought it for her.\n\nAt this point I was really pissed and commented on her post and I said  how that money was child support and not for her personal rule.People found the comment and started to stop following her. She ended loosing half her followers as it was her top post at the time.\n\nMy ex pm me saying how she can use the child support how ever she wants. She told me that it's her money now and she said she does not care about the baby at all. She said I was a terrible person for ruining her internet fame. ######","completion":" NTA. A screenshot of that conversation may be valuable to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion. \n\nHe is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.\n\nThe risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. A lot of people keep their dying pets alive too long. If an animal is old and has a terminal condition (which I assume this dog’s cancer is, if they have to remove tumors several times a year and take out his spleen) I think it’s better to just let them go instead of prolonging their suffering. It’s unfortunate that your sister’s dog is dying, but it’s doesn’t make you morally obligated to put your dog at risk, even if it’s a very small one. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (45M) run a thriving business, to the point where I can live VERY comfortably. \n\nMy daughter (22F) works for me, started last year. She mostly deals with recruitment\/hiring others. She's done a terrific job. \n\nThere was a slip up with one person (25M) we hired though. He completely and utterly lied about his education, having listed a rather prestigious university. I'm still surprised as to how he did this. \n\nIt only came to light several months after he began working for us. However, he was by far the best person I've ever hired.. he was just very quick thinking and socially skilled, and had the ability to execute bold ideas. \n\nOnce my daughter discovered he had lied, she informed me. Obviously feeling embarrassed she wanted him fired, and for good reason... he had lied \n\nHowever, I wasn't even mad at her, or really at him. I wanted to keep him. I had a conversation with him and told him I was aware of what he did, but that I'd let him stay as long as he kept up the good work. \n\nMy daughter said I was an AH for this as did my wife. However, I don't think they're looking at the good of the business here. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. A lot of businesses overlook people who might be great for the job just because they didn’t go to the right university. If he’s doing his job well then let him stay. There’s no real reason to fire him. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before Christmas I fell and broke my hip, nothing extreme becsuse I'm young but still had to have a surgery and till February I only moved to perfom rehabilitative exercises. Then pandemic happened and I wasn't able to do anything. Which made me grumpy  as I'm used to at least walk a lot. Finally, 2 months ago I was allowed to start slow pilates sessions and also yoga. I don't think I gained that much weight but definitely lost some definition abs-wise as I'd been used to work out frequently. Frankly I was scared shitless of gaining weight as I had an eating disorder when I was younger and occasionally I get either concerned about my weight or concerned about being concerned about my weight. Surprisingly I'm almost proud of myself because not only I managed to get my ol' good bone moving again, but I also didn't have problems with having a bit of tummy. That was until my bf started to joke about me being a bit fluffy. He knows about my past problems with food so I assumed it was a weird slip-on. Then he did it again and again and again. Telling me I wouldn't fit into my slacks after eating an ice-cream. Or that I looked like I was preggars. Initally I told him my trousers size hadn't changed and he should google pregnant women to see how they looked like. He shrugged it off as a joke, so did I till I found myself doing some weird things I did when I was ill (playing with food instead of eating, trying to count calories, watching myself in mirror etc.) and hadn't done them for 3 years, at least. So next time he made another 'quip' I got angry and asked him to never comment on my body again even if I gained weight and had an arse of a horse he should be happy I was able to walk. He told me to calm down and that he wasn't aware \"I lost my sense of humour back on the operating table\". I'm now confused af, don't know whether I was being a jerk back then or it was all 'real' I even start to think about apologising. ######","completion":" NTA. A joke is supposed to be funny, not mean. As soon as someone has to clarify that they're joking, the jokes gone to far. Be forceful, your mental and physical health is worth more than he's terrible attempts at humor. It's worth more than the relationship he's tearing down by tearing you down. ######"}
{"prompt":"First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.\n \nIt turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.\n \nI still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.\n \nI’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. A deal is a deal. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL:DR is the title.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy friend is turning 35 in another month. I was gifted an iPhone 11 pro max in December 2019 and I hate this phone. It's in mint condition and is in an otterbox case and hasn't been dropped or scratched but I hate this phone!\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo my friend's birthday is coming up in May and I'm thinking of just de-activating this iPhone and giving it to her, and buying myself the Galaxy S20 Ultra. In my mind, it's a win-win. She gets a bloody $1,000+ phone, and I get the phone I really want. When I asked her if she thought this was a good idea, she kind of took offense to it, and let me know I'm being a dick by giving her \"hand-me-downs\" for her birthday. She went on to say that I'm using her birthday as an excuse to buy myself a new phone.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy jaw is on the floor. I know I spoil the people in my life because I'm a spoiled brat who spoils herself first but I do give my friends really expensive, high quality shit....and I'll be the first to admit that I'm damn selfish, but this iPhone 11 pro max is still bloody new!!! It's not even 6 months old, and I bought it NEW and have taken pristine care of it. but Idk that I'm being the asshole here or not??\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nso.... AITA?!?! ######","completion":" NTA. A basically unused $1,000 phone? Sign me up. She should just stick a different case on it. I'm not a huge fan of hand-me-downs, but this is certainly an exception. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny. \n\nLast week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't. \n\nIt's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted. \n\nSo today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started. \n\nNow he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first. \n\nAITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######","completion":" NTA. A 50 year old man knows that showing his student porn is not a joke. He wants you to think it’s a joke so you’ll doubt yourself like you’re doing now. You’re not getting him in trouble, he’s getting himself in trouble. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids, one is 7, the other is 9 and the oldest is 17, for mothers day my wife wanted me to make breakfast for the family.  So I made waffles for everyone, my wife doesn't eat a lot so she got 1, and the younger ones get 1 as well.  My older one is a pretty big guy for a 17yo he is 6'3 and 205 right now, Its a nightmare to get him full so I made him 2 full waffles for himself and I made myself just one.  \n\nWe all eat at the dinner table and the 9yo was complaining about not getting 2 also, my oldest told him that when he gets big and strong too then he can have 2 like him.  My 9 year old got really pouty and refused to eat his food till he gets 2, cause he's a kid he got over it cause the smell of syrup was too much and ate it all up.  \n\nAfter breakfast my wife pulled me aside and said I couldn't just humor him by making a full one and splitting it with him and the youngest.  I told her that we can't give in when they are pouty, and while she agrees she said I should have at least waited till the younger one were gone to make the older one more.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. A 17 year old boy needs more food than a 9 year old who hasn’t even started puberty. Could your 9 year old have actually eaten that much? ######"}
{"prompt":"For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.\n\nThis summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food\/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house. \n\nMy internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out. \n\nToday my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said \"enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us\" and hung up. \n\nAITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######","completion":" NTA. A 16 hour drive is torture and you already bought your tickets. Can you talk to your dad and ask what's *really* behind this? Does he want to spend more time with you before you go back to college? Is he worried about the extra exposure to COVID you could pick up on a second flight? There has to be an underlying reason, right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 12 year old cousin who idolizes me. I haven’t seen her in months since covid started but we are able to start expanding our pod in my city. I visited her and my auntie today. My auntie said that I look great because of my weight loss. I lost weight because I lost my job and my ex boyfriend left me. So I was depressed which caused my appetite to be gone and I didn’t have money to buy food. I didn’t eat very much. I lost about 15 lbs. I didn’t need to lose the weight and I wouldn’t mind gaining 10 back. I’m just getting back on my feet now so don’t worry about me. I just thanked her when she complimented me. My cousin asked me how I lost weight because she gained quite a few lbs during quarantine. I told her that I just exercised and ate a bunch of fruit and vegetables. I didn’t want to tell her that I starved myself because what if she does the same? My aunt kept saying stuff about my body and I got fed up. I told her in private that I lost weight unintentionally through being broke and being depressed from a break up so I don’t want to be reminded about that. She apologized but is now mad at me for giving her daughter bad advice and giving her unrealistic expectations? Wtf? I find this ridiculous because vegetables and exercise are good habits. It’s not like I told her to take up smoking. I know I lied but AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. A 12 year old shouldn’t focus too much on loosing weight cuz they’re still growing. Telling them to that starving works can result in eating disorders. Plus, healthy eating and exercise can also lead to weight loss, so it’s not entirely false. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because this will be obvious on my personal.\n\nI (M17) live with my sister (F16) and my mom and dad. Very recently, my sister has gained about 20000 followers or so on Tik tok and has managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to about 500$. This, of course, made all four of us extremely proud of her. However, because of this, my sister has flirted with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on Tik tok and social media full time. My mom and dad both actually want her to do so because they’ve heard about the millions people can make. Of course, this made her extremely happy because she’d quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person (I think), would say this is a terrible idea. I couldn’t let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds. I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue ######","completion":" NTA. 20,000 followers and $500 dollars isn't enough to justify dropping out of school. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like \"I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game.\" when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######","completion":" NTA. 2-3 hours is all you’re asking for and he can’t even give you that fully? If he mentioned to his friends that he wanted to spend time with you without distraction they’d probably understand. I’m sure they would be fine for 2-3 hours without him. Try to get him to ask his friends about it in front of you so if\/ when some of them see your side, your boyfriend has no excuse not to spend time being attentive to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nIts worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######","completion":" NTA. 10a is a perfectly reasonable time to grind coffee. But maybe you could pre-grind some in the evenings for the next day just to keep the peace? Everyone is losing their minds right now staying at home, so I’m sure many roommates are having similar arguments. Don’t turn your home into a war zone over silly stuff, try to let this one slide and moving forward hopefully you reach a compromise! ######"}
{"prompt":"When we started dating he gave me his ipad and put my fingerprint there so I could draw on it as I'm a part time artist but couldn't afford an ipad so I was using something worse. After about a month I left for 3 weeks to go back home. When i returned his ipad had been reset and my fingerprint didn't work anymore. I asked him about it and he said his parents came over and he reset it for reasons I don't remember exactly. I asked if i could still use it and he said yes but he'd need to look through what he's got on it first. It's been months and he still hasn't. \n\nLook, I'm not crazy, I think. I don't want his passwords or whatever, I was just using it to draw and if he doesn't want to give it to me that's also fine, but he changed it so suddenly and it was all fine before and now isn't. He got upset with me when I said I'm feeling a bit insecure because of it and said he just never shares his passwords with people (which isn't what I was asking for), but that's a lie as when his best friend came over he logged into all of his stuff pc, netflix etc. I never asked for any of these and I have a separate account on his pc, he claims that no one knows any of his passwords but that's just a blatant lie. His best friend logged into his pc account in front of me to show me something. I told him this and said I don't appreciate him lying. He said he probably forgot about giving his best friend the passwords and I told him this just doesn't inspire trust to me. \n\nHe called me controlling and manipulative and expects an apology, but what should I apologise for? I didn't ask for his passwords, I just pointed out he lied. Now he's not talking to me and I'm wondering if I'm really TA. ######","completion":" NTA. 1) His behavior is suspicious to begin with. From what you've said, it seem like he's hiding something. So there's a level of trust gone. 2) He lied to you. Now I don't see how there's any trust left. If he's willing to lie to you about one thing, why not another? Where can you draw the line of when he's truthful? \n\nHe's the one being manipulative, not talking to you and demanding an apology for you calling him on his bs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) help my brother (34M) with running his business. Often, this requires me to learn new skills such as marketing software, writing up proposals, applying for loans, interacting with customers, etc. I do all of this is my own free time and I have never been paid. This has been something I have done for a couple of years, but since stay-at-home orders, he has relied on me even more with an average of 2-3 hours per night. Often, he will sit next to me while I do his work and he plays on his phone with excuses such as \"You just make forms so much better!\"\n\nLast night, he decided to pay me $25 for doing an online interview for him. I did extensive research and thought it sounded pretty good so I was content with it. My Mother saw that he paid me and she flipped out on me for being spoiled and taking his money. I tried to give him back the money previously and said not to worry about it 4 times (I even left the room with the money on the table). But, a part of me wanted the money. I have sacrificed so much of my time to help him succeed and have never gotten paid. \n\nMy Mother says I'm money-hungry and looking to profit, but isn't my time worth money? Considering how much time I have given him, I feel like a one-time payment of $25 is not too much. I'm not asking to be put on payroll or even have a weekly income from his business. AITA? Thanks! ######","completion":" NTA. $25 and she's getting bent out of shape? Guess she won't mind not being paid at her job then, since she's so concerned about not being money-hungry. Sounds like a real peach....\/s\n\nYour brother should have been paying you for all the things you've done and should be paying you for everything you do for his business going forward. If not, then he should be reported to your local government labor agency. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have \"plans tomorrow\" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me. \n\n\nThey are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship. \n\n\nI apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######","completion":" NTA. $1500 fragile equipment is not something I find shareable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am currently 21 and going to graduate college soon after the summer semester. I'm currently getting towards the end of the spring semester. My mom passed away 5 days ago at 46 yrs old, so I notified all my professors and they all gave me extensions and were very understanding and compassionate, including the professor in question.\n\nThis is what the professor told me. I'll call her Prof. She said that as long as I can turn everything in by the last day of school, there will be no point deduction.\n\nRecently we had a take home test due (since school is now totally online). Part 1 was multiple choice, part 2 was free response (short answers, sketches of depositional environments etc). I have not completed it yet and it was due yesterday. One day ago. In the online class video chat today, everyone had questions about flaws in the exam, what they got wrong etc. They wanted her to release the answers. Usually if a student hasn't taken the exam, the teacher waits until they take it, then they can release the answers. Prof said: ok I can release the answers right now and go over them. The person that didn't take the test will get an alternate assignment. She then talked about the answers to part 1.\n\nShe didn't discuss answers to part 2. However I got an email saying, in summary:\n\nParts 1 and 2 will each get 50% point deduction for lateness and seeing the answera. This is almost 8 points off of my final grade. It is meant to be fair to others. I can understand part 1, but why deduct from part 2 when I didn't get any answers? \n\nI'm so mad right now I'm shaking. Will I be a jerk if I write that she was not helpful in this situation in her university evaluation? I will of course answer other questions fairly, like for example she does a good job answering questions. I won't lie and say she was bad at that just because I am mad. However, commenting about her compassion or whatever could hurt her career. ######","completion":" NTA. ~~That said, it could be the professor simply forgot. Email her reminding her that you had an extension, and why. Try to work it out with the professor first.~~ Talk with the dean. You should not be penalized for having a death in your immediate family. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few years ago but it still bothers me. My senior year I was talking to my uncle and he showed me his phone which had several pictures saved of one of my classmates. Including one of her in a bikini. He was telling me how she was going to nursing school and all kinds of information pointing to him just stalking her profile. We weren’t friends so there was no reason he should even know her. He eventually just went on about how attractive she was and if he was a few years younger, etc. \nSo the next day I found her at school and told her. I said that she should probably block him on social media, made sure she knew which account, all that. I thought I did the right thing and told my mom. Next thing I knew, she was yelling at me. Telling me how it wasn’t any of my business and how if she didn’t want people to have her photos then she shouldn’t post it. So AMITA? Or was I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. ~~Sounds like she was being groomed. Maybe not by your uncle but she certainly had a strong opinion on it.~~\n\n~~You can't save people from themselves, but you spoke out and tried. That's a lot more than most people would have done.~~\n\nYou did her a MASSIVE favor and you need to remember this when it comes to letting your mom spend time with your kids, because she was willing to cover it up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc... \n\nAt 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.\n\nAITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######","completion":" NTA. “Oh I’m sorry MIL, I’ve already made myself some dinner! Maybe let us know next time so we can arrange dinners!” ######"}
{"prompt":"I(19M) am going to college 6 hours away from home. My parents are paying my tuition but they had one stipulation. I had to download life 360 on my phone and keep it on at all times. Life 360 is a phone tracking app that tells whoever's is in the group where I am, when i am driving or someone is driving me, when I get home and when my phone gets low on battery. Now I'm also the youngest of 4 none of my older siblings had to do anything like this and they all had there tuition paid from my parents.\n\n\n\n\n\nSunday night my girlfriend(23F) and I wanted to go out to the beach and have *fun time* so to make sure my mom doesnt call or text to ask why I'm on the beach i turned it off. Didnt get any calls or text. Went to bed and woke up to 5 miss calls from my mom 3 miss calls from my dad and a text from my sister(21F) saying \"moms going to fucking kill you I would call asap.\" Well I called my mom and basically got yelled at for 20 minutes and then was told she is going to start FINING me every time I turn my life 360 off. She said it will matter how long it was off for and what time of day it was turned off. AITA? All my siblings I made a deal with her and I broke it. All of my friends and girlfriend agree this whole thing is fucking dumb. ######","completion":" NTA. “Explain to me why I have to do this and my siblings didn’t?”\n\nOh, and r\/insaneparents ######"}
{"prompt":"This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.\n\nwork ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.\n\nI get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.\n\nNext day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.\n\nHe ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.\n\nI really don't think I did anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA. ‘Carma’ mwhahahahahaha ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, this is my first post here.\n\nI'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.\n\nThey were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too. \n\nLong story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.\n\nNow my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.\n\nAnyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.\n\nAITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######","completion":" NTA. \nThey’re YOURS. You’re never too old to play with legos. They’re literally just plastic building blocks. I have no idea why your mom didn’t want you to take them back to your place. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service  there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks  don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.\n\nHowever there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously  know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish  to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals  with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing  by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a  photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking  away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way\n\nHe then tried to frame it as \"She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment\" The photo was  blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The  manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly  gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.\n\nHe got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the  managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as  well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was  off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced  at a few asses but he wasn't \"Alarming\" according to their experience\n\nI  thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.\n\nAlso I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######","completion":" NTA. \nSo this guy took photos of you in a compromised position without your consent and was then attempting to paint you in a poor light with the gym managers? I’m disturbed that he had the audacity to take a compromising photo of you without your consent, being that the gym is not a public place. In my country that is enough to have someone banned from the gym, and there would even be grounds for police involvement. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.\nOf course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.\nA week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.\nThat is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use. \nI'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!\nNow they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \nin no way, shape, or form give them that info. there is no reason for them to need or have it.\nmajor red flag ######"}
{"prompt":"Ex and I have three sons 6, 9 and 13. I have two pets - a pug named Thor and a Maine Coon cat named Max. When my kids are with me 1\/2 the week, Thor and Max insist on sleeping with them. My kids don't mind and both enjoy snuggling. My ex-wife asked me to stop letting letting Thor and Max sleep with them because her boyfriend is very allergic to dogs and cats. I told her I couldn't care less so she is now saying that she too is allergic to cats and asks why I can't keep them in a separate room or outside. I absolutely refuse. It's not personal. ######","completion":" NTA. \nIf he is really allergic, just get some separate sets of clothes for the kids to sleep with them. Then they can just shower and get changed before going back to your ex's house. \n\nMy parents are divorced and my dad has a really lovable (but clumsy) German Shepard and a grass backyard. I have a designated set of clothes to play with him when I visit so I won't keep getting other clothes spoiled or dirty ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. On mobile.\n\nI (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.\n\nMy sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom\/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.\n\nMy sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo\/grill\/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.\n\nI told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.\n\nMy sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.\n\nI love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nYour niece has 5 friends who could potentially host a party. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm(15M) and I have 2 moms. I was adopted at 5 months old into a family with 2 older siblings and 2 moms it's my normal. I dont take lightly to homophobic people or people making fun of anyone for being gay. Well today I was playing video games with a couple of my friends. We were playing gta v and everything was fine. Until one of the guys made was trash talking someone and called them a f*got I told him that was out of line. He didnt respond for a bit and when I thought everything was over he said \"you know I get it your parents are gay but you dont have to a be sensitive ass bitch online because of it no one likes a sjw.\" I said \"I'm a sjw because I dont like using slurs??\" He said \"no but you shouldn't judge other people for using them and just keep to yourself.\" I said \"no I'm going to call you on your bullshit when I fucking want to.\" He said \"alright whatever you say p*ssy.\" At that point I was done and said \"oh ok I'm a p*ssy I dont remember being the one who banned someone from my discord server for having a opposing opinion on something but oh no I'm the p*ssy. Are you forgetting about just a couple weeks ago you were dming me talking shit on alex for having a mental breakdown in the general text chat the other day and I tried to stay out of it.\" Another friend said \"wow you cant just be exposing dms like that!\" I said \"no he fucking asked for it and I know the only reason you are defending him is because you want to be mod on the discord server you tell me all the time that if you get closer to him he will give you mod.\" Basically I ruined a friend group and had everyone turn on each other. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nYou stood up for people getting bullied w\/ ridiculous insults. Obviously good.\n\nYou also blew up a friend group by...telling the truth. If these were personal embarrassing secrets you'd be the asshole. But they were petty truths about people behaving pettily. So...NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over\/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him\/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nYou don't owe anyone sex because you had a conversation with them. \nYou don't owe them an apology for not having sex with them. \n\nYour friends have some \"interesting\" perspectives. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy. \n\nI asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.\n\nHe keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he \"forgot\" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning \"hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p \" he laughs and agrees. \n\nSo the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the \"oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!\" Excuse) . \n\nInstead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that. \n\nI feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have \/ what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nYou did exactly what he does to you, he never actually replaces the items (buying someone something crappier than what they owned is not replacing it) and is benefitting from \"forgetting\" the organization rule all the time. \n\nSo, this time you did it too. \n\nWere you ACTUALLY an asshole? Well... yeah. But you needed to be because talking to him hasn't solved the problem and he is taking advantange of you. If this is what you did from the start, I'd say you all suck, but he knows wtf he is doing. \n\nSo overall, morally, NTA! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol\n\n\n\nB:The food is great \n\nBB: thanks I even made cake \n\nB: yes I love your cakes \n\nMe: I do too \n\nBB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me \n\nSilence.... \n\nI looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nYou confided in him, and he went out and betrayed said confidence. You are fully within your rights to be upset. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nWhat if you end up with a c section and can't pick up the baby? You're going to do this alone? \n\nHe made the baby, he can stand to miss 1 event and stay home while the baby is a newborn. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: I'm  a housewife and I don't have any money. My husband doesn't give me money, he's not the \"Here, some money buy something nice for yourself\" type.\nI ask him for permission to buy some things because I'm using his money. He doesn't want me to work.\n\nThe story: Last month I wanted to buy something (I forgot what) it's NOT expensive at all and I didn't ask for anything for the past few months. So I ask H if we could buy it, he didn't said anything.  \n\nA few days later his salary came he showed me his payslip. I ask him,\"So can we buy the thing?\" \nHe snapped back, \"You just saw money and now you want to buy useless things you're so greedy\/ gold digger. I WILL NEVER SHOW YOU MY PAYSLIP AGAIN!\" \nMind you he said that in front of me and his mom. I was humiliated.\n\nI confronted him after that and he told me I should find a job so I don't beg from him. I didn't reply because I don't want our fight to get any longer. In the end he never bought the thing I want to buy.\n\nLast week I was asking him to buy something again because its my birthday next week.\nSo today he showed me his payslip again. \nI said, \"Why did you show me that?, I thought you will never show me that because I might want to buy useless stuff again. I don't want to get called greedy\/ gold digger again.\" Those words kinda slipped out of my mouth because I remembered what he did last time.\n\nNow hes mad at me for ruining his mood. Until now 2 hours we're not talking. Should I say sorry to him?\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nThis is financial abuse, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has other abusive tendencies (it even sound like emotional abuse from your short description). \n\nI'd get a job and squirrel all your money away so you can have enough money to leave this man. Don't let him touch a penny of your earnings. \n\nThis is terrible, good luck. He is a 100% abusive asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.\n\nInitially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.\n\nSo yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.\n\nIn that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.\nWell, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.\n\nI called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.\n\nEveryone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nThey went behind your back and went against everything you said. They are calling you the asshole to guilt you into giving them money. It’s your money and you do with it what you see fit. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nOur neighbors kids were outside playing when we all went out to look for Easter eggs. When we let the kids have at it the neighbor kids really interested and stood right at the fence looking through and watching our kids. It was kind of awkward, but our kids didn’t notice so we just went on with it.\n\nThe same thing happens a lot when our kids go swimming in our pool or play on their jungle gym.\n\nYesterday our neighbor left us a note asking if we could wait until her kids are done playing outside to go swimming. As it’s hot right now her kids are very jealous and upset since they can’t swim and now can’t even go to the park to play. Us having an Easter egg hunt in front of them made it a lot worse since they also couldn’t have one and they were very sad.\n\nIt just seems unfair that we would have to schedule our kids playing around her kids. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nThat's ridiculous of your neighbor to ask you to not let your kids have fun *at your own house* because their kids would get jealous. They need to entertain their own kids. A blow up pool isn't expensive if they can't afford to buy a real one. Plus they could have had a Easter egg hunt at their house. Buying plastic eggs ans candy isn't hard and its not expensive. It's not your fault they didn't do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS. \n\nMy boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.\n\nWhen he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.\n \nThe reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.\n\nHe said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush. \n\nEither way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants. \n\nAnyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nThat *is* unhygienic. And disgusting. Tell him to wrap it in duct tape so he can feel \"macho\" again. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nShe should absolutely be keeping the house clean. There's no excuse not to. ######"}
{"prompt":"OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so  would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.\nNow, this is where things went awry. I asked her: \n'What about your career plans?'\n'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients\/customers\/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'\nSo we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.\nI told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.\nSo, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nShe needs a hard reality check. \n\n\nPretty much her whole plan is wishfull thinking about how much business she can actually get. You cutting hard into your work hours for her to spend time in an unproven and given the whole economic situation pretty shaky business model. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed. \nWhen we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.\nHer family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.\nShe ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise\/magic of a once in a lifetime event.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nShe liked it. You were thoughtful to *your partner*, rather than all the busibodies always looking to stroke their egos with *something* or other. Now she has a whole lovely trip accompanying her ring. It has a more romantic story than most rings. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate recently moved in to live with me 3 weeks ago. Things been good. She’s very nice and we click well. Last night, she told me she was gonna go for a run and go to seven eleven. She asked me if I wanted anything, I said no. She went and didn’t come back. I texted her and she didn’t reply. I waited for her but I ended up falling asleep. I woke up and she wasn’t home. I went to work and came home and she wasn’t home. Her social media was dead and she hasn’t messaged me. I ended up calling the cop when I got home, around 9pm. She was found at a friend’s. She freaked out on me and said that I’m not her mom and that she doesn’t have to tell me where she’s at all the time. She called me creepy and nosey and I feel bad now. Did I overstep the boundaries? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nShe didn’t say goodbye in a way that indicated she’d be gone that long. \n\nBased on her going radio silent and being so angry, I’d be wondering if she wasn’t up to something she’s embarrassed about or hiding. ######"}
{"prompt":"First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom \"mom\" and both my husband and her step dad \"dad\". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.\n\nI don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.\n\nOne day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons. \n\nLater that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.\n\nI feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nOnly asshole would be those who do not let their teenage kids use sanitary products. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (36) and I have two kids, my husband also has autism and so does my son (17) both relatively mild cases. My daughter and I do not share this mental disability with them.\n\nNow I’m a nurse which means due to COVID I’ve had to be at  my workplace, my husband however could work at home. My children being  school aged were also obviously home. I noticed that after the first few weeks my daughter started receiving a lot more money from my husband, I noticed my son also giving money , and when restrictions were eased car rides in addition seemed available to my youngest.\n\nI called In sick so I’m off two weeks, and I’ve noticed that when my daughter asks for things from my son or husband she’ll try to either hug them or raise her voice.\nThese are both sensory overloads for them and they’ll agree to anything to make it stop and avoid a meltdown, before they hate loud noises and uninitiated physical contact. \n\nI know this because I admittedly have done this myself ONCE before when my husband didn’t want to go to the doctor So wrapped my arms around him for like half a minute  while I asked him to get in the car and let me take him to the doctor he agreed after he started to freak out.\n\nSo I confronted my daughter about this and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about, I asked her to explain to me how it’s okay for her to try to overwhelm like that and she started to get angry so she went to her room, I then went to my husband and say we should punish her after I explained the situation, he got mad and said there’s no way he’s being taken advantage of by a 14 yr old, I asked him if he was under duress when she asked for something from him and he refused to answer and went to our room and locked the door.\n\nAITA for trying to punish my daughter for taking  advantage of my husband and son ? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nNot only is this taking advantage of your husband and son, but it's ingraining habits in your daughter that will follow her into the real world. \n\nCan you imagine her abusing another autistic person's sensory overloads to get her way, because she thinks it's okay? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising\/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.\n\nTonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said \"another shitty diaper to change\" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.\n\nGranted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).\n\nIt upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?\n\nWhen I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.\n\nHe wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.\n\nI feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nNo offense to you buy guys like this give the rest of us Dads a bad name. I don't care if he pays all the rent and works his ass off to do so, there is no excuse for not changing a dirty diaper. If there is one thing I can guarantee you will have to do to your child aside from feeding them, its changing a fucking diaper. Be a fucking man and do your job. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling. \n\nThen suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, \"Goddamn!\" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time. \n\nI got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nMy husband let off of a ripper in front of our 4 year old earlier and the look of disgust on his little face had me crying!\n\nThe topper was when he said \"I just need some space after that\" and ran to the other side of the room. So yeah hahaha ######"}
{"prompt":"For the past 2 years me and my gf have been dating, she has never known what she wants to eat. Me or her sister can ask her what she wants and she will respond with \"I'm not sure, what sounds good to you?\" Then I'll begin listing off all the options around us fast food wise. She will proceed to tell me no on everything I say, to which I then start naming things we can buy at Walmart and she starts saying no to those things as we would have to \"wait forever for them to cook\" or she doesn't \"feel like X meat\"\n\nThis morning I'm going over the options again, and of course things play out about like this and she calls me mean for pointing out that she never knows what she wants.\n\nAITA?\n\nEdit: to respond to the person asking what I said, all I said was \"you never know what you want to eat\". I never get an attitude with her about it, and she knows I'm not mad. Or atleast I hope she does lol\n\nEdit 2: it's a Christmas miracle, she said she wants pizza ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nMy girl does the same so I make it easy. \n\nI say: baby, you decided what to order or what you want me to make while I take a shower etc. \nI’m the kind of guy that can go without food for a while, so she usually gives in and orderes something. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate\n\nSo I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women. \n\nKate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.  \n\nIt wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual. \n\nSince then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet \n\nThat was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text\n\nAt first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused\n\nI told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years. \n\nShe then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys. \n\nI told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl \n\nLong story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality. \n\nI eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since. \n\nI very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nKate needs to get over herself, she doesn’t get to have a monopoly on being bisexual and doesn’t get to police other people’s sexuality. Her reaction is immature and petty. \n\nDon’t worry about her OP, you do you. 🌈🤍🌈🤍🌈 ######"}
{"prompt":"I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library\/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https:\/\/pbs.twimg.com\/media\/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https:\/\/twitter.com\/FinalFantasy\/status\/842760746463387648\/photo\/3) [that I have displayed](https:\/\/www.thewebernets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.\n\nI still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.\n\nWe have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######","completion":" Nta. \n\nIts your office, with things you enjoy. \nShe could easily get around her perceived and non warranted embarrassment by simply not showing people around your office, especially since there doesn't seem to be a need for them to be there. \n\nIf you love the models, keep them. I have 4 glass cabinets of vintage military vehicle models the size of dinky cars. I love them. They're staying in my living room display where they belong. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy girlfriend and I were doing long distance, so we didn’t get to see each other often. When everything was shutting down both our employers made it so we could work online. We thought this would be a good opportunity to get some quality time with each other. So I went to stay with her.\n\nMy sister found out recently and has asked if she and her daughter can stay at my place for the time being. \n\nMy sister and her daughter currently live with our parents and our younger sibling. Our parents are a bit pushy and very strict about keeping things tidy. My sister says it wasn’t so bad before, but after being stuck at home with them they are driving her completely crazy because they are getting on her about her parenting (niece she a bit ill mannered for her age). So she needs some space away from them.\n\nMy mom has since confirmed they are not getting along right now.\n\nTo be honest though I just feel uncomfortable with them staying there without me. So many things could happen without me there. Especially with a little kid running around. I mean so many things could happen with me there too, but at least I would be there to quickly take care of anything that goes wrong. Not saying she definitely would, but she would be able also to go snooping through all my things and I don’t like the idea of that.\n\nWhen I told her it wouldn’t be possible she said I was being a dick and a sucky brother since I should have offered it two months ago when I left to live with my girlfriend in the first place and knew she didn’t get along with our parents. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt’s your place. Idgaf if she’s your sister. She should’ve gotten her own place too ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can. \n\nMy fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&amp;D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there. \n\nHere's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&amp;D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt’s very possible her feelings may be hurt and there will be comments made to you and your fiancé about “excluding” her, but your wedding is about *you two as a couple* and the people you all want supporting *your* marriage, not about appeasing and entertaining people who (inadvertently or not) cannot maintain healthy boundaries and support your marriage. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17m) am the oldest son in my family. I have 4 younger siblings (14f, 8f, 5m and 2f). My mom expects me to watch my siblings when she isn't home. Needless to say, I'm tired of it. I never get to go to parties. Neither do I get to hang out with my friends. In fact, I hardly ever have time for myself. Last time I went on a date with my girlfriend and came home late, my mom got mad at me because I didn't change my youngest sister's diapers. \n\nToday, my mom announced she's going to have another child. It's not that I don't want her to have a child, but I really don't want to watch another sibling. When I told my mom I'm tired of being a \"babysitter\" and that I won't watch her children, she called me selfish and an asshole for not being happy for her.\n\nMy aunt and grandma agrees with me but my dad said I was wrong and that I should be happy for him and my mom. My mom said I \"hurt her feelings\" and that she's disappointed in me.\n\nBut I said it's not my responsibility to watch her children.\n\nThat said, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt’s incredibly unfair to expect you to give up your childhood to be a father to your younger siblings. Why would you be excited to have a fifth charge to add to your responsibilities? I wouldn’t blame you if you resented your parents and cut them off after you move out, honestly. That’s definitely a toxic, if not abusive, situation. You’re their brother, not their father, and I can understand expecting you to help but your baby sister’s diapers are her responsibility, not yours. \n\nI don’t feel like it’s ridiculous for you to express being unhappy at having another sibling. Someone else is having babies they expect you to put your formative years on hold to take care of, and anyone outside the situation should realize that unless you were calling names and cursing people out, you’re not an asshole for this. \n\nI’m a parent. I would never expect my son to look after his sister with the same care that I would. It’s unreasonable and it isn’t his job to parent his siblings. Just like it’s not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.\n\nMy wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.\n\nMy wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.\n\nI am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota. \n\nShe says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt's not your job to provide for her kids. If she wants a better life let her earn it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I'm a queer woman in a relationship with a straight man. I don't shout my sexuality from the rooftops but I'm also not willing to hide it or pretend it's not a part of my identity. \nTitle is slightly misleading but basically my (24F) boyfriend (27M) just told me \"I wish our relationship was more simple and it was just a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother\"\nThis fucking confused me because we've been together for 6 years, neither of us have ever cheated or been unfaithful but he's always had some lowkey issues with me being queer simply because it makes him feel insecure, but he's not really vocal about it except for this instance and a few others. This one really bothered me though.\nHere's where I may be TA, I'm about to get my period and I'm not sure if it's the heightened emotions or what but what he said stung and I immediately yelled and got really angry and said \"what the fuck does that mean? it basically is a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother except I'm not straight\". He said that it was confusing, I told him I know he's smarter than that and it's not complicated at all.\nNow I'm not talking to him and I'm still really pissed off.\nThis isn't the first time we've fought about this and I'm getting tired of it.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt's not confusing. What he means is that he has insecurities and it's easier to put that on your sexuality than it is to look within himself and get that shit fixed. \n\n6 years is a lot of time to waste with someone who views your sexuailty as problematic. Make sure this gets dealt with, not swept under the rug until next time. Stick to your guns whether that means a heart to heart or going to therapy to get this sorted. DO NOT SETTLE for someone willing to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.\n\nEdit: and don't let him make this about your period. Girl this is queerphobia were talking about you'd be pissed regardless of whether or not a shining elevator of blood was about to burst forth. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last weekend, a few mates and I got together and had drinks\/dinner while watching bad movies. The apartment belonged to Sophia. At some point, she asked if I could get something out of her walk-in pantry while she cooked. Her and another of my friends locked me in. I have claustrophia as a result of trauma I experienced as a child (I don't feel comfortable sharing online). They are aware of it. So I panicked and begged them to let me out. After 2-3 minutes of them laughing, I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked the door which broke the hinges and caused it to fall off. It was only small and made of seemingly flimsy wood. I ended up having a screaming match with the two that locked me in while a third friend arrived. Said third friend agreed that what they did was terrible but the other two said I overreacted and should pay for the door. I disagreed so my friend and I left. Sophia has contacted me asking for money but I'm steadfast in believing I shouldn't pay for anything. I also think I'm owed an apology. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIt was childish AF to lock you in the pantry and to not let you out after begging. They are definitely sucky for that. \n\nYou may want to use this as an opportunity to seek out some new kinder mates and reevaluate how much you desire keeping the friendship with these original ones. \n\nBest of luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends. \n\nCOVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.\n\nSo, am I the asshole?? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIn the long run the one period you need will be cheaper. Can your brother take loans for the period he can’t be helped? ######"}
{"prompt":" We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.\n\nMy GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning. \n\nI have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.\n\nSo the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.\n\nHer reasons for:\n\n* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain\n* GF is stressed &amp; tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing\n* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference\n* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)\n\nMy reason:\n\n* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage\n\nWe kind of agreed to continue the conversation  in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIf you're not comfortable doing it, you're not comfortable. No discussion needed. \n\nYour girlfriend needs to respect your boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my mom doesn't really do boundaries.  I was assigned female at birth but identify as male.  Because of the pandemic I haven't been able to start things that I planned to start.  Ever since I started puberty she does this thing where she is in the bathroom while I shower.\n\nIt started with her coming in and going to the bathroom while I'm showering.  But now that I'm out of the closet, she tends to come in right after I've started my shower.  She will not only go to the bathroom while I'm showering, but also brush her teeth and complain at me about my dad, who is her ex-husband.\n\nI end up having to tell her to get out most of the time.  She doesn't seem to understand why I won't dry off in the shower while she keeps talking at me.  I feel like she's waiting to see me naked so that she can see if I've done anything to \"damage\" my body, as she puts it.  It makes me really uncomfortable.\n\nShe insists it's perfectly normal for mothers to be in the bathroom while their kids are showering but I'm 21 now.  And she thinks it's fine for her to be in there because she \"grew me inside of her\".  She can't see my reasoning for why it makes me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I try to explain it to her.\n\nAITA for not wanting her to come into the bathroom while I'm showering? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nIf my parents came into the bathroom while I was taking a shower I'd lose my shit. Not really okay for anyone to be in the bathroom with you, unless you want them to be. Also, maybe invest in a door lock as a solution? ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA: for getting frustrated with my MIL and now SIL just stopping bye whenever they feel like it.\n\nSo I am going to start off I generally like my MIL... My husband and I live in a small town and MIL lives 2 minutes away. SIL is currently long visit and is staying with the in-laws. We have had issues with her just showing up since we have been together (3 and half years now). Husband has tried to talk to MIL but it keep happening. \n\nThis week they tried to stopped by without calling while husband and I were having “some couple time.” Dog was barking but we didn’t hear anything. After we were done I had missed call from SIL. She said they dropped by and asked what we were doing ... I lied. Husband was upset. This was not the first time MIL has knocked on the door while we were doing the act. \n\nToday, SIL calls husband ... he ignores it because he is playing a game. I have the front door open so the dog can lay on the chair and watch the street (she is a chihuahua). She starts barking more than usual. I go to look out and step out of the house. There I see my MIL and SIL coming up to my door. I told them, “So you call husband and when doesn’t answer you just come over?” \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nI’ve had conversations with my husband about MIL doing the same thing in the beginning as well. I might have said truthfully what I was doing, though, just so they’d feel super awkward and never come over unannounced again. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.\n\nWhen I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.\n\nI had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.\n\nI'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.\n\nSo was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nI was very sick in second grade. I’m now 32. I still have no idea what I was diagnosed with (all I know is my white cell count was in the basement and I missed a lot of school in first and second grade). My mom died without telling me. Who fuckin knows? Not I. \n\nIt’s incredibly damaging and irresponsible to not tell you about your own medical history. Are there other things she hasn’t told you that you have?! ######"}
{"prompt":"My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) &amp; me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.\nFor example - \nMe: \"Can you take the garbage out?\"\nHim: \"Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!\"\nThings came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents. \nNow a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the \"Demon\" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him. \nPlease help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\ni think you need to harden your heart a little in this situation. i think a touch of tough love\/reality will hopefully help him see what he is doing. because this is how marriages end.\n\ni think (and really, feel free to tell me to piss off - i'm just feeling chatty, i guess) that you need to tell him a few real hard facts. i am a big fan of separating myself from my emotional state and trying to be as objective as possible - \"channel my inner Vulcan\" as i tell my kid - so i would definitely do what you need to do to prepare - no one likes the tough love talks.\n\nthe facts are that while he is greiving, he is also starting to develop a martyr complex - get off your cross, it's winter and we need the wood. he is shirking his responsibilities and doing some weird gaslighting shit. When he denies it (and he will) just wave your hand and say something like:\n\n\"See? THIS is what i'm talking about. THIS shit is not okay. Don't treat me like i am so dumb you can talk over me and change the facts. We are a team, and a family, and you and i both know you are having a hard time.  You are not being co-captain, you are happy to be warming the bench. Find someone to talk to if you won't do therapy and won't be honest with me. I don't care how, but i care that you are able to live the life your parents would want you to have. The way you are behaving isn't really in line with that. Lashing out at me, creating all this constant drama and strife - that's definitely a sign that you need to find a way to process this. I love you, but i am not responsible for your emotions.You are. I can't fix you, we all fix ourselves. I am your wife and i am here to support you and love you. You don't need therapy? Well I don't need another child to raise. I need my husband. Your parents raised you to be a good man - so BE a good man.\"\n\nThis is all pulled out of my ass, of course, and theoreticals are easier than actualities. I am an overthinker though, and reherse in my head, and try to anticipate reactions, and how i would address that, etc, etc. i always try very hard to be kind, and calm, and empathetic - but i am rock solid, no give. it's like cotton candy over a rock. \n\ni hope things get better for you; even if you think i have my head up my ass, all g - i just feel for you ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because everyone involved knows my main. I am on mobile and fat fingered so forgive grammer spelling and formatting mistakes. \n\nI dont feel comfortable  putting too much detail in this so I will keep it short. If you need more info ask. \n\nWith that out of the way, lets begin. So i recently proposed to my girlfriend and we are getting married sometime next year. My fiance has gone into full planning mode. While we were talking about guests I brought up my friend who we will call leah. Leah has known my since we were children and has been one of my closest friends for many years. I obviously wanted her to be there.\n\nOnly problem is that she and I tried dating in university and slept together. It didnt work out and after a period of awkwardness we got back to where we used to be. She came out as lesbian a year afterwards and admitted that she had only slept with me becausr she was unsure of her feelings. \n\nI told my fiance about this sometime earlier and eversince things have been ice between her and leah. She is now adamant not to have leah at the wedding. I really want her to be there but i also want respect my fiances wishes so here I am asking you. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nI mean, I'm also a jealous person...but *come on*. Not only was your \"relationship\" with Leah abrupt, but she's a lesbian! \n\nYour wife is insecure. You should be allowed to have your closest friends at your wedding. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.\n\nI’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out. \n\nI don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself. \n\nWhen Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries\/internet\/cable\/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself. \n\nJoe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends. \n\nJoe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations. \n\nAITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nI guarantee you if you let him move in, a month from now you'll be kicking yourself - and Dan also won't be moving out. The \"trial run\" thing is a farce - depending on where you live, he more than likely will be considered a legal tenant at that point and so getting him out isn't easy or quick should he decide to dig in his heels. Also, based on Joe's reaction to your objections, I don't see a scenario where Joe relents and asks his brother to leave after a month. \n\nI get that it's his brother and so it's hard for Joe, but part of why Dan is this way is due to his enablers allowing him to be this way - his mom, and now his brother. It would be a good thing for Dan to have to figure out his own living situation his family swooping in to make life easy for him. \n\nYou are completely in the right here. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a \"it's not fair\" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former \"deadbeat\" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??  \n\nLe sigh... ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nHow about the fact that it wasn’t fair to your child or you that he was a deadbeat for such a long time? ######"}
{"prompt":"Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders.  My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.\n\nI can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.\n\nAITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nHas he never seen you at the beach? \n\nHim saying that sounds really creepy\/weird too. You’re his daughter, not just some “naked woman” in his house. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hear me out. \n\nFor reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy. \n\nMy older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls. \n\nI live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.\n\nIn almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy\/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the \"I'll eat what makes me happy\" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all. \n\nFinally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault. \n\nWhat do you guys think? AITA? ######","completion":" Nta. \n\nFuck i was expecting a ... But 50lbs at 2...how is his lttle heart handling that. My 4 year old isn't that heavy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.\n\nFast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.\n     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything. \n\nWhen she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing. \n\nEver since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.\n\nMy other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nFirstly, sorry for your loss. Secondly. You have executed the request of his will and you are the heir to everything he left behind to you. She can threaten legal action however there is a willlll, a legal document already establishing who does and doesn’t get what. \n\nShe chose to act however she acted toward your dad and is now suffering the after consequences of lack of communication with him. \n\nYou owe her nothing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.\n\nEveryone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat. \n\nMy step mom says \n\n“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!” \n\nWhich is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”\n\nShe says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.\n\nMy dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nEveryone knew that you are afraid of boats, including your step mother. \n\nDid that stop her from booking the cruise? No. Did you *ruin* the vacation? Also no.\n\nYes, your comment was pretty low. But the way I see it is that you are still angry that your father cheated on your mother, splitting the family apart (Entirely reasonable, affairs are extremely wrong). \n\nYour father is mainly to blame; if he stayed loyal this situation wouldn’t have happened. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically what the title says but I will give you more details. Members of my family think AITA because I've requested that they only call me before 11am or after 8pm. Why? Because my boyfriend works 10pm to 7:00AM and I follow his schedule. I don't work because I am disabled and by following his schedule I get to spend more then an hour or 2 with him. And I don't want to turn my ringer on my phone off just in case there is an emergency. I don't get any other phone calls except from my family and a couple friends. Hell even my doctors offices have mainly followed my request. They only call me after 11AM if there something major they need to talk to me about. And my friends have all agreed to respect my request. However members of my family think I'm being completely unreasonable and think if they want to call me they can. And I said if they do I will just block their number because I don't want to disturb my boyfriend while he is asleep. I've told all of them there is absolutely nothing so important that can't wait until 8pm to call. And its not like any of them go to bed before then. I've told them to text me (I have my notifications on silent) asking me to call them when I wake up and I'll call them back. \n\nI'm just not seeing why this is such a horrible request. If I'm in the wrong can someone people point it out to me. Thanks ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nDo Not Disturb mode should be your best friend. You can set it so if a certain number calls X times in a row, it’ll ring like normal. In an actual emergency, hopefully they would call you more than once to alert you to the situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"Guys, please tell me if I was too harsh with my roommate. I’m going to admit that I find her pretty annoying and slightly racist.\n\nWe live in an apartment building that caters to student housing. They rent by the bedroom, so I did not know my roommate before I moved in at the beginning of the semester ( she was there first and has had three other roommates) \n\nNow, either she’s ignorant or racist but there are things that she does that bothers me. She constantly asks me questions about “black” things. Think, “Do black people really....” When she saw me make my dinner one time she said “wow black people really can cook!” And offered to pay me to cook for her. She calls me “boo”. She just seems like an alien that has never met a black person before. \n\nThe thing that annoys me most is that she is constantly asking me to teach her how to twerk and shake her ass, or to do it myself. I am actually a ballet dancer, and while I have nothing against ass shaking, it annoys me that it is all that I am boiled down to. \n\nBefore this whole lock down mess it was easy to avoid her. Now I’m stuck with her and she’s getting on my nerves. \n\nLast night she busted into my room playing Ass by Big Sean on her phone. I was reading. She had a bit to drink and started asking me to dance with her and show her how to twerk. I told her no. And she begged me, saying “come on I want to learn!” I said “It’ll he hard to learn with no ass...” And she actually got super upset about that y’all! She started yelling about how she was trying to have fun with me, calling me stuck up, and *crying*. \n\nShe went to her room and left me alone for the rest of the night, this morning I said hello to her and she’s ignoring me. It seems like I really hurt her feelings. At the same time, maybe it taught her not to bother me. Idk, am I an asshole for saying she has no ass? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nBut now she probably thinks black people are rude, as you are somehow the official spokesperson. \n\nShe'll survive. ######"}
{"prompt":" My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds. \n\nAnyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge \"food pusher.\" He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.\n\nWhat's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he \"has faith I can finish it.\" When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.\n\nI have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked \"Why do you keep doing this?\" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nBut I can see that as him being a chef maybe he’s missing his work a lot and finding it hard to get out of the habit of cooking a lot?\n\nHOWEVER that being said.. you guys have been together since you were 16! He knows that this is what you are like. And he shut down when you asked him why he’s doing this? does he want you bigger? Is there something more weird going on? Me personally, i’d be telling him to back off or calmly explain that you’re making your own meals from now on as he obviously can’t respect your boundaries when it comes to food. ######"}
{"prompt":"It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself &amp; I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job &amp; easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad &amp; becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call\/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up &amp; not the other. \n\nSo, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky &amp; talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nBeing upset doesn’t negate your ability to send a quick text saying you won’t be in. ######"}
{"prompt":"Awhile back, I (18F) had a doctor's appointment regarding some issues about my period. I hadn't had a period for about year, and I was getting worried, because I'm not sexually active. \n\nMy mom went with me to the doctor's appointment and into the room with me for the exam. When the doctor was having me lie down to listen to my breathing, she told the doctor that \"you know, she has a lot of stretch marks\". I didn't bring anything up about that at all during the exam, and it was quiet when she brought it up. \n\nIt was really embarrassing, and I tried not to cry, because I didn't want to cause issues at the doctor's office. \n\nIt wasn't until yesterday that I brought it up during a talk with her. I told her that I thought it was very rude to bring something up like that and it was mean. I told her that I don't go to her doctor's appointments and tell them about her stretch marks. She told me that she thought that the doctor should know about it. I told her angrily that if I thought it was important I would tell the doctor or the doctor would ask me about it. \n\nMy dad was nearby while we were talking and said that I was being rude to my mom who had good intentions and that I shouldn't have said that to her and should also apologize. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nAnd I find it incredibly weird and a bit creepy that, at 18yo, your mother still goes into the room with you for an exam. Unless my kids specifically requested me, I stopped doing that about age 12. \n\nAlso...why the hell would she know about your stretch marks? Doesn't she give you any privacy at all??? ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.\n\nWhen I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.\n\n15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.\n\nI snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson” \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nALSO report them to your boss so they cut they shit. I wonder how many other times he’s taught a lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant\/ new moms and veterans. \n\nI’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude. \n\n\nI called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\nAll respect to vets, but you are currently 7 months pregnant with TWINS, likely with swollen ankles and back pain. If he was able-bodied I believe you deserved that parking spot. \n\nEither way, you were already parked and out of your car while he was perfectly capable of parking in one of the nearby spots. ######"}
{"prompt":"I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.\n\nThe woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too \"slutty\" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.\n\nAs far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems. \n\nThen, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.\n\nThe husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.\n\nI said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.\n\nBut then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.\n\nI said \"Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.\n\nShe said no right away.\n\nI then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said \"Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?\"\n\nShe cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.\n\nAITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n1. Your neighbor could’ve just as easily approached you calmly and asked you to stop whatever you were doing. She did not need to resort to homophobic slurs and name calling. \n\n2. You approached her respectfully while putting her in her place. It’s funny how she never says any of this stuff when anyone else is around to hear her, but the second you try to call her out she denies it. If she can’t handle owning her hateful words in front of her family, that sounds like a her problem. \n\n3. While you *could* have waited for a more private moment, she was very open about her attitude toward you and your friends from the get-go. She probably thought you’d never confront her. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money. \n\nMy girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time. \n\nNow she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nEdit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n$300 for plants during this difficult time is irresponsible esp being unemployed. You have every right to be upset. I would’ve returned it for a refund. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: I have a strict \"no lending\" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever. \n\nDue to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.\n\nLast month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.\n\nHere's the thing though. I work 12\/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.\n\nNow, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.\n\nBut none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n>I have a strict \"no lending\" policy on money \n\nThat's it, that's all you have to say. All the rest are justifications for not doing it, but you don't owe anyone any explanations, especially not under current circumstances. ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.\n\nI was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24\/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n>However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything.\n\nTranslation: \"We know this is going to screw you over because it is literally impossible to have you take care of your cousin while you work 3 jobs. However, we do not want to acknowledge this fact openly because it would mean also accepting that we are metaphorically setting you on fire to make us feel less guilty about the crap job our daughter is doing as a a parent for her own kid.\" \n\nYour grandparents are being assholes if they think there are more than 24 hours in the day or if they think you should be sacrificing your sleep\/health to take care of your cousin. I would make a literal schedule, with each hour of the week blocked off with things such as time for sleep, shower\/food, job 1, 2 and 3 (don't forget travel time, and bonus points if its color coded. Take it your grandparents and ask them what are hours of the day are remaiming to babysit. My guess that there really isn't any time with 3 jobs. Force them to openly acknowledge what they are making you sacrifice with this shit deal.\n\nWTF is with these older adults parentifying the younger generation? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest. \n\nI love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.\n\nTonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4. \n\nI keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.\n\nAITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n>he wanted to be able to make more noise\n\nYour SO needs to grow up, and step up. He can't live like a baby now that he has one. ######"}
{"prompt":"As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.\n\nI am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.\n\nThe subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.\n\nWe were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.\n\nHe said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.\n\nIt really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n>he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.\n\nWhat does Frank think \"race\" is? It's not just colour. You can be light brown or even various shades of beige, with no African heritage, and still be mixed race. And Mexicans have faced plenty of racism. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (27F) work full-time and my husband (28M) is a stay at home partner. That means I'm the breadwinner in our relationship, but that's fine. It's a role we're both comfortable with me in and I hate, hate, **hate** chores anyway.  \nRecently my father-in-law has been making me uncomfortable with his comments. FIL has a habit of making 'jokes' about things my boyfriend has done around the house. He will often comment on my SO's FB posts and pictures with comments like 'another day sweeping the floors?' and calling him a 'domesticated maid'.  \nWe recently had them over for dinner and my husband did an amazing job prepping the house and slow cooking the food. I didn't help out at all, since I was at work all day and I arrived home to him having done everything.  \nWhen my FIL found out my husband did the cooking, he straight out asked why I hadn't helped. When I told him I'd been at work, he told me that he would never let his wife, my SO's mother, host a dinner party entirely by herself and would at least prepare a side. The big difference between my FIL\/MIL and me\/my SO is that his parents both worked full time, which isn't our situation. My FIL looked at my SO and told him 'you know you don't have to live like this'.  \nHere's where I might be TA. I'd had enough and snapped at him that our situations were very different. And I said that I actually didn't appreciate his attitude to my husband's lifestyle and he had no right to criticise either of us when we're both happy in our choices.  \nAs you can expect, it didn't go well. My in-laws left early and things have been weird since. My husband says that he wishes I'd hadn't spoken up and next time to let him deal with it. But I struggle to agree since he always lets his father walk all over him and sometimes his father is criticising me too.\n\nAITA for standing up for me and my husband against my father-in-law? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n>'you know you don't have to live like this'.\n\nThat implies you are forcing him into this life. If your husband wasn't going to defend the both of you, someone had to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So.\n\nMy full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version. \n\nThere is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz. \n\nI HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.\n\nAnd everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.\n\nSome of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.\n\nI know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.\n\nI've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms. \n\nSo now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n\nSimply ignore them and if they call you out for not answering to Liz simply say “Oh, well how am I supposed to know that you were talking to me? That’s not my name.” ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year. \n\nI don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.\n\nI bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me. \n\nAs for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as \"house stuff\" but luggage has never been one of them. \n\nAITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n\nOnce, sure. \n\n\nTwice, maybe. \n\n\nThree times, you're not a department store and they need to get their own luggage. ######"}
{"prompt":"So growing up my parents and I didn't really have the best relationship. Nothing too bad - they weren't abusive or anything, just extremely emotionally distant. I couldn't talk to them about anything - crushes, heartbreaks, bullying - I had to deal with that all on my own. Luckily I had a great group of friends to lean back on. \n\nNow after graduating, I went off to college (student loans, mind you - my parents believe in letting me pay my own way even though they are more than affluent enough to have helped me out. Which is fine, debt sucks, but at least I'm in control of my own finances). It was great, I was doing well academically, and had a part time job as well. \n\nNow here's the part where I might be an asshole. When I went back home during semester breaks, my parents asked me to pay rent. Lower than market rate, but still substantial for a student like me. I didn't argue, bit my tongue and went with it. All the free time I had went into jobs and chores. I then tried talking to them about it - they said if I wanted to live in their house, I'll have to contribute, and of course that contribution took literally all my time. I didn't really complain after that, but I vowed to myself to completely go my own way once I graduate and get into a position to support myself. \n\nAnd I did. After I graduated, and landed a job, I went no contact with them and haven't spoken to them in over a decade. They've reached out multiple times over the years but I've always refused. I have my friends, I have a girl I'm going to marry. My own family. Like an actual family. \n\nWhy exactly should I get into touch with them? They weren't interesting in being parents, and now I no longer want to be their kid. Simple. Right? \n\nMy fiance disagrees. She says I should make an effort to communicate. \n\nSo. AITA for not doing so? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n\nMy parents did the same thing. I paid rent from the time I was 13 when I got my first (under the table) job. When I turned 18, I was expected to move out. College was completely my responsibility. When I came home on break, I was expected to pay rent AND do household chores. After my first semester, I didn't go home for break any more. I simply stopped communicating with them. \n\n\nI look at it this way. They set the terms for the kind of relationship they wanted to have with me. They did it while I was still a child, and dependent on them. There is absolutely no reason to change that relationship simply because...\n\nThey did reach out to me occasionally over the years. Every time it was because they wanted something from me. If I gave it to them, they went back to radio silence. \n\nAnd one bit of advice...get over the anger. It's nothing more than another link to them. You don't need it. They won't see it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody,\n\nI live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.\n\nAcross the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket\/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the \"Nachtruhe\" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music\/tv.   \n\n\nI myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my \"Nachtruhe\" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for &gt;45 minutes).   \n\n\nI dont know any of them personally\/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.\n\n  \nThey now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n\nIf they are living in Germany, then they need to abide by German laws. There are other ways to celebrate the fourth of July that wouldn't entail breaking local laws. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning. \n\nI posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate. \n\nAm I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######","completion":" NTA. \n\n\nHaters gonna hate. \n\nI'm the child of a single father, and you bet he got a mother's day card and present every year from me. He did twice the work, he gets twice the credit. \n\nPeople always want to be salty when thinking something belongs exclusively to them- being a parent with a partner is already a full time job. You're doing both jobs on your own. \n\nHappy mother's day! ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’m 24 and live on my own. \n\nMy little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad. \n\nMiles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom. \n\nFrom what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible. \n\nI was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid). \n\nApparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.” \n\nI told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again. \n\nI’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA. \"You'll never see him again.\" LOL. Good luck with that, mom. The kid is 16 not 6. Worst case scenario you'd see him again in a year and some change when he turns 18 and he gets kicked the curb by his super awesome father figure. Counter that threat with \"you'll never see me again\". ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m ¼ Japanese and ¾ British\/French\/German. My husband is Scottish\/British. We’re expecting our first daughter together early fall and recently got into an impasse about names. \n\nI wanted my daughter’s middle name to be my Japanese grandmother’s name - Miyoko. Not only did I think the name was beautiful and flowed really nicely with the first name we have chosen for her, I wanted to honour my grandmother, who I had a very close relationship but sadly passed away three years ago. She was the one who taught me a bit of Japanese and how to cook her family recipes, I’m very proud of this part of my heritage and intend to pass this along to my daughter. \n\nHowever, my husband is saying that naming our daughter, who will very likely not look Japanese is culture appropriation. (I disagree with culture appropriation because our daughter will be part Japanese, even though it’s only ⅛  - maybe I’m wrong so please correct me if I am!) Also, he said it would be cruel to give her such a foreign sounding name when she clearly won’t look the part and perhaps other kids might make fun of her for that. \n\nNow, the last thing I want is to give my daughter a name where she would have a hard time with. But at the same time, I genuinely don’t feel like it’s a problem, considering how I think it’s a beautiful name with a significant meaning. It shows off part of her heritage and honours her great grandmother. Also, it’s going to be her middle name so it’s not like that’s what she’ll be referred to on a daily basis. Am I in the wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA. \"Why do you have a Japanese middle name? You don't look Japanese\"\n\n\"It was my great-grandmothers name who my mum really loved\"\n\n\"Oh, fair enough then\"\n\nAlso if someone was to ask her this, they would have to be relatively close to her anyway, to not only know her middle name, but then question it ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway.\n\nSo I proposed to my girlfriend beginning of this year. We originally planned to get married this September, but that has obviously been pushed back to next year.\n\nMy sister also got engaged last year and her and her fiancé were 100% set to have an April wedding before the pandemic shut everything down. However tragedy struck and her fiancé suddenly passed away this June (Covid death). It has been an extremely tough time for all of us in the family. My sister has been hospitalized on and off for harmful thoughts over the past month and we are all doing our best to support her. \n\nAnyways, now I am fighting with my fiancée because I’m “putting my foot down” so to speak on her latest decision to change our wedding venue to where my sister originally planned hers. My sister had planned to have her wedding at a famous country estate\/mansion near where we live.\n\nMy fiancée recently told me that she contacted the estate out of curiosity and found out they have openings early next year so she now wants to have our wedding there instead. She visited the place and fell in love and says it’s actually her dream venue. I basically said absolutely not, are you insane? That would be incredibly traumatic for everyone in my family (esp my mom and sisters who already helped my sister and BIL plan their wedding at that exact location). \n\nMy fiancée won’t budge and she’s furious I’m not seeing things from her side. She says our wedding could be like a “beautiful tribute” to my sister’s loss but I don’t think anyone would see it that way. More than likely people will think we stole my sister’s wedding ideas and are forcing her to attend out of cruelty. AITA for telling my fiancée her dream venue is an absolute no-go? ######","completion":" NTA. \"Tribute of trauma\" please keep your stance on this. Its incredibly cruel to your sister . normally id say no one owns a venue, but your circumstances are different. Shit its like your fiance asked for your sisters wedding dress and said \"not like your going to use it anymore\" shes being extremely inconsiderate\n\nIts very kind of you to keep your sister in mind during all of this as im sure its very hard for her. My condolences to her and his family. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm (20M) in the market for a new TV, the 32 inch Sharp TV I have still runs fine but I want something bigger, I have my eyes on a 65 inch LG Smart TV, I saved up for it and had plans to buy it but my mom told me that if I bought a TV when I already have a perfectly working TV then I'd have to put it in the living room so that everyone (my parents and sibs) can enjoy it.\n\nShe said that it was selfish and that I don't need a TV that big for my room especially when I already have one. I said fine and a couple weeks passed and she asked me when I'm buying the TV, I told her that I'm not buying one anymore and she asked why and I said there's no point for me to spend my hard-earned money for a TV that I'm not even allowed to put in my own room.\n\nShe went on a tirade about how I'm the most selfish person in the world and that I was selfish to buy a TV in the first place with the intention of putting it in my room and that now the only reason I'm not buying the TV is because I don't want to share.\n\nAITA? I don't know what I did wrong. What's the point of me buying a huge TV when I can't even fully benefit it? ######","completion":" NTA. \"Mom, you raised me right, I'm thinking more long-term and I've decided to use that money towards getting my own place instead.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention. \n\nExcept this intervention was for his \"gaming addiction\". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence. \n\nMy teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time. \n\nI then went and broke up their \"intervention\" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down. \n\nI said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######","completion":" NTA. \"Just a joke\" is such a poor defense for being inconsiderate towards someone's feelings. Dude should be less calm about mocking his own daughters problems. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her. \n\nTo be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer. \n\nShe thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE\/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’. \n\nI don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?\n\n(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######","completion":" NTA. \"Dibs\" is not how application cycles work. If she has a strong application, she'll get in. Same with you. If she's prepared to lose your friendship over this, I'd question how strong your friendship was to begin with.\n\nGood luck with grad school OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.\n\nI won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot. \n\nSarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ######","completion":" NTA. *She wanted you to have it.* \n\nWhy should other people, even family, have a greater say in what she does with her money than her?\n\nIf she were alive, is this what she would have wanted? Clearly not. She put it in writing!\n\nAgain, respect her wishes. ######"}
{"prompt":"If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning\/afternoon.\n\nI have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.\n\nNow, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this. \n\nI say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\nTl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ######","completion":" NTA. [There's a chart for that.](http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/XstAjrH.jpg) A lot of people shower every day, but more people skip a day every so often. I shower about 5-6 days a week, but on days that I stayed home and didn't do anything to get dirty or sweaty, I don't see a reason to waste the water. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.\n\nI live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to \"fuck off back to our own country\" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.\n\nBut their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.\n\nMy solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)\n\nIve tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.\n\nI could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.\n\nBut I have to know Aita? ######","completion":" NTA. [Here's a tune for next time should you need it.](https:\/\/youtu.be\/jg9JnTr1SfY) ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother\/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces\/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a\nAITA for not defending my wife? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your wife and her mom need to respect your family's boundaries.  The boundaries are not unreasonable. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\nMy sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.\n\nMy nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before. \n\nI don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.\n\nSo, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your sister is a huge asshole. You are paying half the rent, the majority of food and bills. for four people living in one house. You not only should have the third floor to yourself, but if she rents any rooms she should give you half, minimum. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits. \n\nMy sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason. \n\nI finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.\n\nI could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your sister doesn’t need to be coddled about the situation if it was bad enough that her daughter was removed. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep it short:\n\nMy husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew. \n\nWhen I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your reasoning makes total sense and was a sweet intended gesture.  Sorry he didn’t receive it as such. ######"}
{"prompt":"TW: drug use \n\nMy mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your mother has a problem.  If you bail her out, you are enabling her.  You need to sit back and let her hit rock bottom. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 20 year old university student getting through the pandemic and staying away from home because of the travel restrictions.  My mom has been reading the parent pages for my university and came across another parent who apparently wrote repeatedly about how depressed\/lonely her daughter is.  My mom has hounded me repeatedly to let her mom “connect” us but I refuse.  I can only imagine how humiliated I would feel if my parent had publicly posted about my mental state and tried to find strangers to talk to me out of pity.  As far as I can tell, this person isn’t reaching out to any university pages themselves and considering how we are all quarantined, me being in the same city as her at the moment doesn’t mean I could even hang out with her.  My mom says I have no empathy for other people but I also don’t feel like I’m in a good enough  mental state to try to give support to other people when I can’t even give it to myself right now.  \n\ntl;dr I don’t want to be “pity” friend to an adult whose mother is posting about her on Facebook. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your mom sounds like a meddling busy body who could spend HER time directly helping people rather than reading parent university pages (seriously, do other parents of 20yos actually do this?) and trying to control you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll make this short. The father of my children went to prison a few years ago.\n\nMy children are 9m and 12f. He sometimes writes to them but not very easy often. After a while I found out that their father says some pretty fu.ked up things in his letters. It messed with my kids especially my son as he started to think I set up his father to keep him away from the kids.\n\nI have since decided to read the letters my son gets first and then decide whether they are appropriate or not. My daughter always had me read her letters first anyway because she’s old enough to see through the games.\n\nAfter a series of letters that were absolutely horrible I decided to let their father know that it was pointless and that I’m not letting my son read them anyway. He lost it and said what I’m doing is illegal and he’ll sue.\n\nI know I’m possibly overstepping but i just want to protect my children. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your job is to protect them.  Keep doing it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my girlfriend and her roommate, we’re going to get our own place when her lease is up. We like to shower together, not just for sex, but it’s intimate and fun to do sometimes. We probably shower together twice a week.\n\nHer roommate asked me to stop yesterday because it’s annoying to her. She has her own bathroom with her own shower so I don’t see how it could be annoying. I asked why and she said it’s gross that she knows we’re together like that and it should be confined to the bedroom.\n\nI told her I’d talk to my girlfriend and my girlfriend thinks we shouldn’t stop. Would we be assholes if we continue? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your girlfriend's roommate needs to mind her own business.  She's just jealous. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.\n\nSo I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless. \n\nI got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your girlfriend is throwing a tantrum because you successfully participated in an adult professional activity.  She needs to grow up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus. \n\nI said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish. \n\nI think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me. \n\nI feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your dress, sister being a manipulative brat. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of my sandwiches instead even though I was going to make one of those anyway as per his request. Before I could say anything, he takes a bite of my sandwich. I go to put back the bread in the cupboard and he says \"Too lazy to make another one for yourself?\" and he laughs. I, already in a sour mood because someone took my damn sandwich, say, \"It's fine, I just don't like it when someone takes my food.\". He takes offense to this, scowls at me, drops the sandwich back on the plate hard enough to make a sound as if to show anger, and slams the door when he leaves the room. You could really see the disdain in his eyes after I said that remark. I'd really like to know if I'm the asshole here or not. ######","completion":" NTA.  Your dad pulled an AH move and doubled down on it when called out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself. \n\nAfter a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######","completion":" NTA.  Your boyfriend sounds like a spoiled child.  You were right to take matters into your own hands.  Not to mention the safety of being broken down on the road at midnight, worse:  what if you crashed? Hurt yourself? Hurt someone else? What a jerk.\n\nHe’s angry at himself and taking it out on you.  You went to another man, subverting his “manhood”, what a child.  Think hard on this relationship.  This type of thing is exactly the red flag you see later down the line and think:  damn it! I should have known! ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nsome context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis\/cute stuff\n\nBut now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with \"drawing stuff for OTHER people\". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.\n\nThis all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your BF is messing with your business.  That should never be allow.  And he should knows better.  This is serious.  Relationships are suppose to enhance your life, not weight you down.   A lot of people have broken up for less. Have a serious talk and do not back down ######"}
{"prompt":"My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.\n\nNow, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Your BF is acting extremely entitled right now.  You’re right to be pissed.  Your parents made a very generous and kind gesture, now he’s just taking advantage. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 &amp; 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc. \n\nHowever, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months.. \n\nWhen I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day. \n\nShe got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) &amp; she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway. \n\nSo, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts? \n\nLSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######","completion":" NTA.  You’re offering a service and she should pay for it.  Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you take advantage of them. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL DR: regardless of how you feel about the covid quarantine, my husband was secretly going to bars. He didn’t tell anyone in our family including his elderly high risk parents who came to visit on Father’s Day because they thought we had been staying at home, so I told him he had to call them and tell them the truth before they came back over this afternoon.\n\n\nSo, we’ve been married for 7 years, have 2 toddlers, and my husband still doesn’t seem to understand his actions affect other people. We’ve been quarantining since March, but he is “essential” so his work schedule has been normal. On Father’s Day his parents (both over 70yrs old) came over for the 1st time to surprise him and we all sat down and ate together since they felt it was an acceptable minimal risk since he only goes to work.\nWell, I saw text messages last night that he’s been going to bars with friends after work.\n\nI’m upset that he’s been lying to me, and I don’t know what to do about that.\nI’m upset that he’s possibly been putting our family’s health at risk, and I don’t know what to do about that.\nI’m also upset that his elderly parents were here because we told them we were safe, and apparently that was a lie, so I told him to call them and tell them he lied or else I would.\n\nHe said I’m an asshole for dragging them into our business. He lied to them too. I think that is their business. His dad is supposed to come over again today-I think he deserves to know the truth in order to reevaluate the risk before coming over.\n\nI think I’m protecting our vulnerable parents and children. He says I’m an asshole trying to control everyone, be he’s also already established he’s willing to lie to get what he wants. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  You’re not trying to “control” anyone. You’re making sure everyone has ALL the information so they can reassess and make their own decisions, which is how it should be. His parents have the right to know he’s been around more people than was originally assumed so they can decide if they want to continue coming over, or wait it out. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway just in case.\n\n\nI (18F) live with my mom, who has primary custody, and my step dad who has been in my life for 12 years and who I see as a father.\n\n\nThroughout my childhood I didnt have a great relationship with my biological father. I both enjoyed and hated going to his house. Enjoyed because I had a lot more freedom there, hated because I had no friends.  Not to mention that when I got a phone my mom wouldn't let me take it to his house because she didn't want him to know I had a phone.\n\n\nAll my life I've been told stories on both sides and I nevee knew who to believe. Contact with my biological father slowed to the point where I would barely talk to him once every two months. Until, a few months ago  he sent me a letter with his phone number saying that if I ever need anything, he will be there. \n\n\nMy mom told me he is just trying to play victim and act like he's being kept from me, and that he doesn't actually mean it. I still called him, from my phone and without her knowing, and he was overjoyed to hear from me. Since then we've been rebuilding our relationship. \n\n\nNow here's the part where I might be TA. My mom, Step Dad and I have been fighting on where I'm going to go to college. They do not approve of my choice or my intended career that I already have a job. There has been screaming, name calling, and constant silent treatement the past six months. Despite the fact that I am paying for college myself and have a viable way of financing it. \n\n\nAnd so, I want to move in with my dad, who does support me and my choices. Obviously, my mom will be devastated, because she's always told me how hard she's worked to keep him from hurting me like he did to her. And I know by moving my step dad will never forgive me. I just can't take feeling like an enemy in my own house anymore. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  You’re 18.  They don’t have custody of you anymore.  You’re an adult.  Go do what you want. ######"}
{"prompt":"Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short. \n\nBackground: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part. \n\nStory: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head. \n\nTHE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION. \n\nI IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like \"bruh chill,\" while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background. \n\nI don't accept. \n\nIt was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  You're under no obligation to accept anybody's apology especially if it's not genuine. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother wants me to stay with her even when I'm older, because I'm 'not ready' to live on my own. I can cook and know how to wash clothes and dishes. I know which items to buy at the store. Heck, I even know how to take care of hangovers so I should be able to help my friend if she ever has one. \n\nWhat my mom really wants me to do is to take care of her. All of my life I've been taking care of my mother, even though she's not even sick. When I was younger, I would nurse her hangovers even while being sick. \n\nI know how to take care of myself. Me and my bestfriend have been planning this ever since we've met 3 years ago. As soon as I graduate or turn 19, I'll move in with her without telling my mom. The reason I won't tell my mom is because if I do, she'll try to make me stay. \n\nI've been keeping a lot of anger in me because my mother never listens to me. Every time I try to voice my opinion she threatens to disconnect my phone and take it away because surely that's where I'm getting my attitude. And I'm just so tired from having to take care of her even when she's perfectly able to do it herself.\n\nShe always makes promises that she never keeps, even if it might kill her. And it's just so draining to make sure that she doesn't die in the middle of the night from drinking so much. I'm tired of being the mother in this relationship. \n\nSo Reddit,  WIBTA if I go through with this the way I planned to? ######","completion":" NTA.  You're supposed to be the kid not the parent to your parent.  Before you move or tell your mom, make sure you have all of your important documents that you will need (birth certificate,  social security card, diploma. Etc.) So that your mom can't hold it over you to prevent you from leaving. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago, but my brain won't let this one go.\n\nSo I was hanging out with some friends. Two guys, one woman. We're all in our early 20s and have had our fair share of romance in life. The topic of sex popped up and we start talking about some of our past experiences. One guy joked about how having sex only made his dick bigger and bigger. We all laughed and he said that he wished that's how it works. My female friend (let's call her Sarah) piped up and said \"Yeah, for women, it's the complete opposite. The more sex you have, the bigger your labia gets and the looser you become.\" There were some chuckles, but then I asked her if she was serious. She said she was. \n\nNow, this is a big myth. I was surprised a woman who has had some experience actually believes that. I basically told her this, and then she started getting annoyed, asking \"how me and my dick knows about that\". I said the same way I know anything about female anatomy- I've read up on it. The whole \"women get looser\" thing is something sexist dudes made up to slut-shame women. My other friends were silent on this. She then just said: \"Whatever, I'm not in the mood for this kind of mansplaining.\"\n\nSo I'm at a loss here. AITA for explaining something that I feel like people should just know about? ######","completion":" NTA.  You're right, she's not, simple as that.  Just because you know more about female anatomy than she does doesn't make it sexist.  I always took \"mansplaining\" as a guy automatically assuming a woman knows less about a topic because of her gender.  I've had this done to me over computers parts before, and it drove me nuts.  However, you weren't assuming her knowledge based on her gender, you were correcting her on something very wrong, and as as you said, pretty sexist.  I don't see anything wrong there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I have a cat. Her name is Kitty, she's a beautiful little crossbreed and my entire life revolves around her. When she passes, I genuinely don't know how I'll cope.\n\nAnyway, my sister also has a cat. His name is Taz, and she loves him more than life itself. She's autistic, and he's very very good with it. Sensory overload? He'll calm her down immediately. She's crying? He'll nuzzle her and often times grab my parents for her. But he's also very fat. And they just keep feeding him. My sister is obsessed with him, and she will feed him whatever he wants. She doesn't understand that she's hurting him, and I don't want to upset her by telling her. \n\nMy parents know. Taz's breathing is getting awful, he can't just very well, and despite his young age can't play for more than five minutes without needing a rest. \n\nI'm genuinely worried for his health, and my parents also feed him whatever he wants, and they do the same with my cat. She has her own medical problems, that will probably shorten her life span. I don't want to make it any shorter. \n\nI have told them that they're killing him by feeding him constantly. They tell me I'm being cruel, and just trying to scare my sister, which is literally the opposite of what I'm doing. They also refuse to stop feeding my cat when she wants it. She looses weight stupidly fast, so it's not too dangerous, but still worries me. \n\nThey said if I'm so worried, I can just up Kitty's exercise (which I am doing), and that I need to stop worrying about Taz because he's 'fine'.\n\nI don't want my sister to loose her life line quicker than she has to, but apparently I'm just worrying about nothing because he's only 'a little' overweight. \n\nHe doesn't look that big, but he's gaining, and fast. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\n(Once again, I'm awful with wording so just ask if I don't make any sense.) ######","completion":" NTA.  You're right, but damn if it isn't difficult to curb behaviour like this when it's coming from your parents.   I'm sorry to say that I've been through this twice, and there was no real solution.  Because realistically you can't monitor the cats 24 hours a day, then your parents are going to continue to do whatever the hell they want.  Which sucks.\n\nThe only action you can really take is to try to have the advice come from someone other than you.  I'm talking about the vet - if you can call ahead of the next appointment to express your concerns, maybe the vet will take a harder line with them.  But even then, nothing is guaranteed, as I'm sure this is always discussed at vet appointments anyway (my vet shows no mercy!).\n\n\nI don't know anything about people with autism, but from what I do understand, routine is super important, right?  Could you frame it that establishing a daily routine with the cat could be super helpful for your sister in the long run?  I don't know, just spitballing here.  Sorry you're faced with this, it's super common and very frustrating I know. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: FIL is a man who doesn't get along with his wife and children. He barks and snaps at everyone but is cordial to me and eats out of my daughter's hand.\n\nDuring this stay home period, MIL started cleaning out stuff that's been sitting around the house. Yesterday she found in a seldom-used drawer, a wooden box with a handkerchief wrapped around a picture of FIL in his younger times and my daughter's recent picture he cut out from her year book.\n\nWhen she asked him about it, he threw a fit and said she had no right to defile pictures of people he loved most. An upset MIL called and told me about it.\n\nHe has 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters. While I'm happy he dotes on my daughter most, I found this really creepy and said this to hubby. Hubby is now upset that I think his dad is creepy and his childless sister sides with him, while the other sister who has 3 kids thinks FIL is crazy.\n\nSo am I TA for reading too much into his 'innocent' action? ######","completion":" NTA.  You'd be TA if you ignored this.  Because that's why child abuse so often goes on for years - people believe their beloved father\/uncle\/grandfather\/cousin would NEVER do that awful thing, so they ignore red flags.  Cutting out the picture of one of six grandkids from her yearbook, placing it in some sort of shrine and then being angry when someone touches it is a red flag.  Your MIL also obviously believes there's a problem or she wouldn't have mentioned it.  You need to think about how you can protect your daughter.  A visit with a therapist might be a first step here. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some people at my school signed a contract to rent a club house for prom and decided to go full out (litteraly no specifics from them), the problem is is that they demand 190$ from everyone (150 people) but almost no one paid except the organizers friend's and they almost got sued for not paying.\nI really don't want to go since i don't like a lot of people there, im single and have no interest in anyone in this school and my friends dont plan to go either, AmITheAsshole?( To clarify i did not sigh any contract) ######","completion":" NTA.  You signed no contract and I assume that you never consented to the payment verbally, either.  I think you're good to go. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory throwaway so men don’t message me about my tits on my regular account + I’m on mobile, so sorry if formatting is weird.\n\nSo, the other day one of my flatmates (with whom I have, up until this point, had neither a positive nor negative relationship with) sent me this long text that started with “we need to talk about the laundry situation.” This was a bit confusing, since I wasn’t aware of any particular laundry situation. The rest of the text was her telling me that I need to keep my bras out of the laundry room because apparently, when she had her boyfriend over, he went in there and saw my bras hanging up to dry on the drying rack, and was so shocked?intrigued?whatever that he checked the fucking tags (I have no idea if this is normal male behavior, but it creeped me out to read) to see the size, and then “wouldn’t stop talking about it.” \n\nI responded with, basically, “then tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off my shit and shut up.” Flatmate did not consider this an adequate response, and told me that I should keep my “pornstar bras” in my room because it’s apparently inappropriate to dry them in the laundry room. At this point I was quite annoyed; I don’t wear “pornstar bras,” I just have very large breasts, and they’re a literal constant source of annoyance and back pain. The bras in question were totally normal, but apparently them being a UK 34H makes them inappropriate. I told her that I’m not going to try to dry my bras in my room since it’s tiny and we have a perfectly good drying rack in the laundry room, which is for laundry, and that both she and her boyfriend needed to get over it and grow up. I know that this wasn’t terribly diplomatic, but I felt like she was much ruder than I was. I didn’t really think about it the next day, but now it’s been three days and she’s completely ignoring me, so I’m wondering if I misjudged the situation. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  You said it yourself, her bf needs to keep his hands off your shit and she needs to grow up.  It sounds like she reacting out of jealousy or insecurity.  You have bigger breasts than her and her boyfriend won't shut up about it.\n\nIt's not your responsibility to deal with and navigate their relationship issues or boundaries (or lack thereof). ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22, F) currently work as an EMT, and as part of my certification, I learned to deliver babies. On occasion, we will get calls to pick up someone whos in labor. I've gotten these calls about 3x and each time we have just transported the patient to the hospital and they have given birth there.\n\nMy sister (26, F) who is 8.5 months pregnant recently asked if I could deliver her baby at her home since I was certified. She wants to do it at home since the hospital in our area (Chicago) won't let family visit, and she wants us to be there since this is her first child. Also, her gynecologist is sick and wouldn't be there to deliver her child, so she's also nervous about having a doctor, she doesn't know.\n\nI told her I would get back to her, but my sister and my mom keep texting me about it. Idk what to do, I'm really nervous about doing it since I have never delivered a baby before. She said the baby was perfectly healthy which is good and it obviously won't be premature but I'm still on the fence. ######","completion":" NTA.  You really aren't qualified as an obstetrician, you are qualified to pitch in to deliver a baby in an emergency.  You aren't even qualified as a midwife.  Your sister would not be getting optimal care and neither would the baby.  \n\nThere are dozens of ways a delivery can go wrong, with catastrophic results for either mother or infant.  One benefit of hospital birth is that they have all the emergency backup systems needed, from a surgical suite, to monitors, to  sophisticated imaging, to ICU and NICU rooms, laboratory, and all the necessary medications.\n\nBear in mind if something DOES go wrong, you will feel a burden of guilt personally forever, and so might your family members.  The wise thing to do is to refuse, giving your reasons and standing firm. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm sorry if this is long or confusing but I'm conflicted.  \n\nBackstory my mom was incredibly abusive to me. Everything except sexually because I got that from someone else. I was forced to work at our store when I was 8 years old. Every way you could abuse someone she did it. I moved out when I was 14. I had just finished my freshman year of high school and I moved in with my grandma who let me stay with her rent free but I was on my own for everything. I got a job working 20-30 hours paid under the table. I did everything I could to support and sustain myself. When I turned 16 I got a real job went to an alternative high school and shifted my whole life so I could work and go to school just so I could eat, have a phone, get a car\/gas. \n\nWe're Asian though. Painfully traditional and our beliefs is that we need to everything we can for our inner circle. Basically my mom was living with my grandma and her husband doesn't like her so he left. Shortly after she left to be with him. Things happened and now they're essentially homeless while looking for a place to live. They're living in a trailer. \n\nI can give more details if there are questions. \n\nFast forward to now ten years later. I don't have a relationship with my mother. We talk a maybe a total of 5 times a year if that. My whole life I've been lectured how because she's my mother I have to love her and care. She's the only mother I have. I live in moderately sized home with my SO and dog. We have the space to house 2-3 extra people. I feel so bad because I know she wants  me to offer her our extra rooms but I just don't want to. \n\nShes essentially homeless though and I feel like I'm the devil for not offering her a roof when I have the space and ability to. I don't think I'm TA but why do I feel so bad?  I'm conflicted. If I wasn't TA I don't feel like I would feel bad. ######","completion":" NTA.  You feel bad because you have certain beliefs drilled into you and they're creating cognitive dissonance - two conflicting sets of thoughts that are giving you stress because you're struggling to resolve them.\n\nYour 'mother' is not a mother.  She did not give you love and support, she gave you nothing but abuse and stress.  Now she demands your love and support unconditionally because it's convenient for her.  She deserves none of it, and no amount of 'but tradition' is going to change that.  Devote your time, attention, and care to the people who care about you are a positive force in your life.  And if anyone gives you crap about it, tell them to shove off, it's not their choice to make.\n\nSometimes the hardest person to convince is yourself, though.  Keep at it, and keep remembering that she never brought you any good and that's not going to change now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.\n\n6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.\n\nNow I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one. \n\nNow M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.\n\nAfter calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ######","completion":" NTA.  You didn't expect her to move out a week early, you expected her to move out on August 1, the date originally provided.  She's the one who tried to change that to August 8.  I guess M isn't as good a friend as you thought she was - she doesn't seem to respect others' needs or property. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok from the title it seems like I \\[18M\\] wouldn't, but I'm still not sure. She \\[18F\\] has been hitting on me for a few days, giving me obvious hints that she wants to have sex with me. She has done something similar a few years ago and I told her that I wasn't interested because she doesn't attract me. Yes, yes I know, personality &gt; physical appearance, but at least I admit that I do care about appearance. She and some of my friends started calling me out, telling me that I should've at least gave her a chance. I actually lost one friendship because of that lmao, she was good with my friend. I don't like to hurt people. If I give her a chance now, she will get what she wants, she might get attached to me and I might not, which might hurt her even more. I recently got out of a relationship, I don't feel like getting in something else for now. I still miss ex a lot, but that's a story for another time. I don't enjoy talking to her. I am very insecure, and I don't like when some of my friends start talking about what I should have done and what I should have not done. That's why I'm asking you because I told some of them and they are telling me that I would be an idiot if I miss this opportunity and asshole because I will hurt her. So.. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA.  You aren't interested in her.  End of story. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a house I rent, and some of my neighbors have complaints about the property and it's maintenance.\n\nI rent partially because I don't have the time to do the maintenance and I wanted a lease that put the landlord in charge of all that. And that's what I found; my landlord is responsible for all maintenance and landscaping and such.\n\nHe lives a few states over and sends guys he knows for maintenance.\n\nAnyway, some of my neighbors have used me as a scapegoat for things they don't like about the house. What's grown in the yard, how it's an eyesore, how the siding needs to be washed.\n\nI've said that they can tell my landlord about it.\n\nThey've gotten mad saying that if I live somewhere I should take some pride in it and do the bare minimum to make it presentable. I said that I picked a place where someone else was in charge of landscaping and stuff for a reason, and they really ought to call him or write him a letter or something.\n\nThey've all been pretty mad at me and I feel like there just mad because they can't get in touch with the landlord and I'm an easy target because I'm right there.\n\nAITA for not having any more time to listen to that stuff and just saying to call the landlord? ######","completion":" NTA.  You are paying your landlord to take care of maintenance and landscaping.  Give them his number and go to town, otherwise leave you alone. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for this one. \nMy partner has two children with his ex-wife, two boys aged 4 and 7, of whom we share custody with their mother. \nHere is where I might be the asshole:\nThe children’s mother has recently become very Catholic, enrolling the eldest in a Catholic school and introducing regular prayer in her home. My partner and I are not at all religious. He’s not religious because he simply isn’t interested, I’m not religious because I was raised Catholic and have become quietly anti-Catholic church as more and more has come to light about child abuse within the church. I say quietly anti-Catholic because whilst I hold my own beliefs, I don’t push them on anyone else. However, my partner’s ex-wife has told us that she wishes for the children to pray at night before bed when they are staying with us and I’ve told her absolutely no. Both of the children have indicated that they find praying to be something of a chore and I would, in all honesty, prefer my house to be religion-free. My partner’s ex-wife is pretty angry with my refusal, saying I shouldn’t care about them praying if I’m not religious and that I should respect her religion, but I don’t think I should have to do something in my house that I don’t want to do and she should be respecting my lack of religion.\nAITA? \nTLDR; partner’s ex-wife (very religious) wants kids to pray at my house, I (not religious) said no, AITA. ######","completion":" NTA.  You are not stopping the children from praying, but you are not forcing them.  By the way, what a terrible way to encourage faith. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away. \n\nSo now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve. \n\nSo here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week. \n\nSo here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :\/ \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  You are contemplating the possibility that he may just be an eternal child.  And it would be a crime to enter a marital relationship with a child. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19F) have recently met and have now spent some time with my boyfriend’s (25M) parents. Good enough people who I enjoy even though we’re very different and have different ideologies. They also think that I am very quiet and innocent even though that’s not exactly the case. \n\nThe thing that bothers me is that they keep making comments about “your future with our son” and making them grand babies. The mom has asked me what birth control I am on, and if I’m willing to move away from family with a man. She also has said things along the lines of “skip the condom tonight.” Bf was previously married very young and has been separated for two years living in a different state from his ex. But his mom has made comments about him and I getting married and says that it’s been long enough (we’ve been dating for a little over a year) to know if he wants to marry\/have kids with me. \n\nMy bf doesn’t want kids, I do, and I’m super young + going to college. Both of us are aware that this is temporary as not having kids in the future is a deal breaker for me, but again we’re young and are enjoying being with each other for now. \n\nWIBTA if the next time they make comments I express that it makes me uncomfortable and that our relationship\/sex life is really none of their business? ######","completion":" Nta.  Wtf?  I'm a parent of 4 kids, and I'd never make those types of jokes (and I joke about everything) to any of my kids' SOs. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello friends. I am a T1 diabetic, so I need to keep my insulin in the fridge. Lately I’ve been staying with my girlfriend who lives with her parents, who are very kind to temporarily take me in. I got there yesterday and I was unpacking and asked her if I could put my boxes of insulin in her fridge. She looked a bit uncomfortable and said first that there’s no space. I said this is objectively not true because their fridge is massive (she has four siblings but none of them are at home now) and there’s literally hectares of space, and besides I don’t need that much. She moved on to the next excuse which is that it’s weird to have my medication out in the open like that for other people to see. This one has really hurt my feelings. I mean it’s not like I asked for this illness. I literally need it to live. I tried to explain this to her and she said it’s their property and I should respect what they want to do with it. She also asked me not to do my injections in front of anyone else which makes me feel asif she’s somehow ashamed of me and my condition ######","completion":" NTA.  Where the flying fuck does she expect you to keep it, given that insulin needs to be kept refrigerated? ######"}
{"prompt":"GF went to a huge rally the other night with at least 2 thousand people, we don’t live together but she comes over a lot and vice versa. The issue here is that I’m scared of her getting Corona and infecting me or my home. My parents have had health risks in the past and my grandparents swing by my house often to say hello or return Tupperware, and I’m scared to death of somehow leading to them getting sick. She’s been getting increasingly suspicious that I don’t wanna be around her and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried if I tell her the truth she’ll say I’m overreacting and we’ll get into a fight. AITA for wanting to keep my distance? ######","completion":" NTA.  We all have to make our own choices.  Your real reasons for not hanging out might not bother her as much as the ones she's imagining.  Tell her the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"back story. so i've been at home because of quarantine, and decided to try grilling, burger mostly. my neighbor who is vegan and i know this for a long time. so 2 days ago i made burgers for my family, after we ate i started cleaning up the grilling stuff. and my neighbor walks outside and says \"i have to stop grilling because the smell of meat is disturbing her\". we both have Very big yards and i dont grill near her fence.\n\nWEBTA if i still grill? ######","completion":" NTA.  Vegetarian chiming in here. Yes, at this point the smell of meat cooking is awful to me, but it's your house, your yard, your grill, your food, and your family. Unless you're throwing meat scraps into the neighbor's yard, they get no say.  Grill on and enjoy! ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)\n\nI (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us. \n\nI'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking \"old.\" She has had botox\/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes\/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.\n\nSince getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles. \n\nWe argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it. \n\nRecently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.\n\nTL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######","completion":" NTA.  This is one of those cases where you reduce her fun by not being pissed off at her little game.  So just have no reaction, except maybe rolling your eyes.\n\nShe should grow up.  But a lot of people who need to grow up, don't.  OK if you kind of reduce contact. ######"}
{"prompt":"As of now, I'm stuck in a middle eastern country with my fiance. My fiance is middle eastern, although very westernized. We have our own living arrangement there, but his mother begged us to stay with her. For starters, she's always been very rude to me. Rude comments, starts faking heart issues around my fiance etc, accuses me of being ''infertile'' because ''no grandkids yet''. Accuses me of being an eastern europe medical school graduate (when I studied in the u.s?), and much more. She didn't approve of me till the beginning, and made sure to let me know that ''he'll never marry my kind''. Ever since we've been here, it's been more of this bullshit.\n\nThe last straw was her inviting her neighbors over for tea, acting like a bitch towards me, and treating me like her personal butler. She told me to go make coffee in a demanding tone, and to get a glass of water for her. So I snapped at her, and told her no, and we started yelling at each other, arguing etc. My fiance has been cold towards me after she went and ratted to him, and I'm considering breaking things off the minute we step foot in the u.s. AITA for the way i reacted? ######","completion":" NTA.  This is a preview of things to come.  I think the future MIL doesn’t like you.  I don’t think it has anything to do with customs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now. \n\nMy mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.\n\nThe money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it. \n\nI have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019. \n\nIn February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.\n\nToday my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.\n\nAITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######","completion":" NTA.  They're the assholes for exploiting you. Where is the money going if they don't have major expenses? If groceries, perhaps they should look into coupon clipping or other methods of cutting down the grocery bill ######"}
{"prompt":"I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles.\n\nWe now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well.\n\nI don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday.\n\nNow he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######","completion":" NTA.  There is a van value to those miles.   This is no different than him asking you to pay cash for part of her ticket.  The fact that he knows you two don't get along makes the request insulting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my wife split 11 years ago when our daughter was 5-6 months old, we split cause she cheated on me and went to marry the guy she cheated on me with.  I remarried 3 years later and had my son (who is now 9).  The way custody works is that I get her for 1 week a month, christmas, thanksgiving and easter while my wife gets her during the summer.  My ex's husband had 3 kids of his own, 1 of them her birthday falls on the day right after my daughter's and she told me when she's at her mom's house they share a birthday.  me, my wife and son are currently out of state and helping out my in-laws cause they are old and need help now of days.  I already mailed my gift and told my ex to give it to her on her birthday, she's always wanted air pods so I got her a pair.  I had a bag and stuffing in the box and asked my ex if she could set it up for her\n\nMy ex texted me yesterday saying what I got my daughter is nowhere near what the other kid is getting and asked me to either chip in to get her something or wait.  I told my ex that I won't and that my daughter has wanted this for awhile, she told me that it is unfair that my daughter gets a better present than her sister.  I tried to compromise and said she can name the present in both our names (mine and ex) and get her daughter something a little bigger or more \"equal\" if she likes but I'm not going to just not give her the gift cause I probably won't see her for another month or so.  My ex is saying I'm being unreasonable AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  The stepdaughter needs to understand that there are different parental relationships and she doesn't get exactly the same as her sister.  And I wouldn't have it be \"from\" both of you, either.  It's a gift from her dad, plain and simple.  If your wife is bitter about it, that's her problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was at the store and there was a family in front of me. They were short $20 and were about to put groceries back. I felt bad for their kids who looked at their dad who had to decide whether or not to put back the bread or cheese.To me, $20 is nothing so I told the cashier I would pay. I did not know the woman behind me was recording and she posted it on social media. Someone recognized me and tipped me off. I DM'd the woman who posted the video and asked her to take it down because I don't want the attention. You can clearly see my face and the name of the company that I work for on my polo shirt. I also didn't want people to think this was some sort of stunt. I know a lot of people pull fake \"charity\" for attention. She refused so I contacted the social media company's admin and they took it down for me. ######","completion":" NTA.  The person who filmed and posted it was just trying to get attention for themselves through your good deed.  Apart from you not wanting the publicity they also didn't think about how that video could have been humiliating for the family involved. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner and I live in a garden apartment, our windows are literally ground level. \n\nWe were sitting there watching tv (tv is under the window), and we see a kid in our window. Kid doesn’t just look in and leave, kid stares in. For a hot minute. I walk out, see mom, and ask her to not allow her kid to stare in my window. She says her kid was playing in the yard. We live in an apartment building, fair enough. However, there’s a giant bush in front of our window. You can’t get to our window without going around this massive bush. \n\nI told her to teach her kid to not stare into people’s windows. \n\nThis lady lost it. Completely. She started screaming at me that kids don’t know and that she didn’t mean anything and all this.\n\nI told her I get she’s a kid, but maybe teach her to not stare in people’s windows?\n\nAgain, she lost it. Her kid started sobbing. This woman called the cops on me for making her daughter cry. Not kidding. She called the cops for that. \n\nI tried walking over to her a few minutes later and talk to her, tell her I get kids will be kids, but kid should know to not stare in windows, and she just continued to go the fuck off on me. And how I made her daughter cry and made her daughter hysterical and how I’m going to get arrested for making her daughter so upset.\n\nThe cops came. They actually did. I told them I just tried to tell her I wasn’t ok with her kid looking in my window. The cops were not impressed by this call, at all. We live in Chicago, there’s about 102839 other things the cops could be doing besides dealing with this. \n\nThey told us to avoid each other. No problem for me. \n\nAm I the asshole for this? Should I have been more understanding? ######","completion":" NTA.  The mom should have told her child not to stare in the window. ######"}
{"prompt":"To be honest she is very lazy and does not train her dog or bring it outside. He shots and pees all over their house and she doesn’t care. She wants to bring the dog because she refuses to put it in a kennel. She asks all the time and makes up a sob story on why she needs to bring him. I told her If she started actually taking care of her dog that he could come. My friend told me I was an asshole for causing a family member to be inconvenienced and that I judged the way she cared for her dog. ######","completion":" NTA.  That’s a big inconvenience and mess to impose on someone. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been with my gf S for 4 years, living together for 2. Off the start of the relationship I knew she was a picky eater. We would go to fancy  restaurants and she would order the simplest things or the same things over and over. It seemed weird to me but I didn't really care,she can do whatever she wants. I only really realized how annoying this is when we moved in together.\n\nNow I on the other part I'm the opposite. I like to try new foods, new tastes and get a better idea of food in general. I also love cooking and have a culinary arts degree (I wanted to become a chef but I didn't for other reasons). So you can assume that I do almost all the cooking at home. You can see where this is going.\n\nOnly when I started cooking for S did I realize how picky of an eater she is. She hates almost everything, even if she can't really taste it in the end product. To give you some examples:\n\nShe hates cinnamon.\n\nShe hates garlic.\n\nShe hates any kind of spice. (clove, nutmeg etc)\n\nYesterday I was making a Spanish omelet and she complained when I added the tiniest pinch of thyme in there. Because of all the ingredients I put in there she is gonna taste the pinch of thyme in there.\n\nI made a white chocolate mousse and she complained when I layerd it with oreos(!) and strawberries, because she apparently doesn't like oreos.\n\nNo amount of zest can go into our food whether that be orange or lemon zest bacsuse it apparently tastes bitter.\n\nShe hates spicy food.\n\nShe only eats stakes or whatever well done. If there's the tiniest amount of pink in there it's raw. (I've destroyed so many good stakes in the past cooking them well done).\n\nI could go on about this she doesn't like but we'd be here all day. Last night she asked me to cook dinner but I refused. When she asked why I explained that it's frustrating to cook for a person with the tastebuds of a 5 year old, and that she can order takeout from now on. So reddit WIBTA if I stopped cooking for her? ######","completion":" NTA.  That's ridiculous.  I don't prepare separate meals for the kids in our house when I cook.  If I'm cooking everyone is getting what's prepared.  If she doesn't like what you cook she can cook herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom \"mom\" and both my husband and her step dad \"dad\". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.\n\nI don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.\n\nOne day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons. \n\nLater that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.\n\nI feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA.  That's not how virginity works and if dad says OK, you're good.  Just make sure she doesn't forget she is wearing one when she leaves your house. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (25M) girlfriend (25F) of a year and a half just moved into my apartment two or three weeks ago.\n\nShe usually orders takeout, but last night she decided she wanted to start cooking for herself. \n\nI walk into the kitchen and see she has a piece of raw chicken in the sink, so I ask her not to do that since it'll get bacteria on the sink and anything else that goes in there. Instead of taking it out and using the bowl I sat next to her, she picks it up and turns on the faucet trying to wash it, as I saw my life flashing before my eyes, splashing water all over the place, and I say you're not supposed to wash chicken because it spreads bacteria, as she says \"what bacteria?\". She then takes one hand off of the chicken and uses it to turn off the faucet, the whole time I'm saying she could have gotten salmonella all over the sink\/counter\/faucet as she takes the chicken to my cutting board table I use to cut fruit, places the chicken down, and walks over to the fridge (without washing her hands), opens it with her still wet hand, as she starts rummaging through the fruit\/vegi drawer.  I tell her she's going to have to wash the handle now and any think else she touched because that could become a breeding ground for bacteria as she yells \"stop pissing me off and just leave me alone, I guarantee you any chicken you've eating at a restaurant was made the same way \". So I did. \n\nI went to the bedroom and an hour later I hear her eating and talking on facetime when she tells the person how \"I went psycho over some f\\*cking chicken\", \"followed her around telling her how to cook her own dinner\" and how I \"need a reality check\".\n\nI feel like ass for bringing it up since she was only trying to cook herself dinner, and I'm not generally a germaphobe, but this is just one of those things.\n\nAITA\/a germaphobe psycho who needs to chill? ######","completion":" NTA.  That's a huge sanitation issue.  Also I can guarantee you an restaurant caught handling chicken like that would be slapped with a major fine for breach of food handling practices.  I would honestly toss anything in the fruit and veg draw, salmonella isn't worth the risk. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but here it goes anyway:\n\nAfter 20 years of being a content screw-up, I finally decided to better myself and finish college. After earning my bachelor’s, I immediately went to grad school and earned my MBA this May.\n\nAnyway, around the same time I initially decided to go back to school, my bro-in-law also decided to go back. He decided to pursue an associate’s degree in a trade.\n\nSeeing as how he wasn’t working while he was going to school, he finished in two years. However, I was working full-time so it took me 7 years to finish both my bachelor’s and my MBA (I had finished most of my generals my first go-around 20 years earlier). I only say this because he would always make comments about how I’m ‘sure taking my time’ and how he finished way before me.\n\nMy family had a little celebration for me a few weeks ago and he kept making comments about how I’m finally his equal (emphasis on finally) and joined the ranks as a college graduate.\n\nI didn’t say anything (nor would I) because I don’t want to diminish his accomplishment. At the same time, I can’t help but feel annoyed that he doesn’t seem to get that I had to put in a lot more work to get my degrees. \n\nI guess it bothers me that I feel this way. After all, to him, his associate’s degree is a huge deal (and it is).\n\nSo, AIT(elitist)A?\n\nTLDR: My bro-in-law keeps equating his associate’s degree to my master’s, and it bothers me. ######","completion":" NTA.  That must be super annoying, but good for you for keeping your mouth closed and taking the high road.  That says a lot about your character.  Everyone else knows how hard you worked for your degree. ######"}
{"prompt":"This sounds ridiculous but here goes! \n\nI (26f) will be eating sometimes (lunch or dinner) and my husband (26m) or our son (18m ), if they aren’t eating or have already finished, will take food off of my plate and feed it to our dog. \n\nIt happened last night, I am a slow eater and finished after my husband. We were talking while I finished and he grabbed a piece of chicken from my plate and tossed it to the dog. I asked him why he would do that and he just laughed, I don’t think he understood that it actually bothered me but his reaction made me feel like I was being crazy. \n\nBut just now, I was eating lunch (we are all working from home\/schooling hasn’t started) when my son came in and scooped up some of my chips and fed them to the dog. Again, I was upset so I asked why he would do that. His reaction was the same, that it was funny and he didn’t think I actually cared. \n\nI feel like an asshole but also, I don’t like that they keep taking food from my plate? It wouldn’t ever even cross my mind to take food from their plates? Also, they do this all the time but usually to eat it themselves, and I didn’t mind as much before because I want them to be full. But the dog has food and table food isn’t good for his stomach anyway so that seems to bother me even more? I don’t know. Am I an asshole?\n\nEdit to add: Son is 18 years old and adopted— sorry I should have clarified. ######","completion":" NTA.  That is your food on your plate.  If they want to feed the dog then they need to do it from their own plate.  Besides that, they risk the dog getting sick.  Doggy diarrhea isn't fun to clean up.  Next time one of them does it jab them with a fork (that's how my grandma taught her kids to not reach in front of her at the table and to not take food off of her plate). ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. \n\nMy wife and I have an 8 year old daughter. I’ll preface this by saying she is slightly chubby, however I feel as though this is par for the course for her age. \n\nFor the past few months, there have been several events that struck me as odd. What stuck out most to me was when a parent told me that she had “ruined” her friend’s birthday party by lecturing the other kids on the dangers of eating cake, and overall how squirrelly she gets when I offer her a bite of a snack or ask if she wants seconds. \n\nRecently, as I’ve been around her more, I’ve noticed her mannerisms. She always pulls at her shirt, hunched over, etc. So today, I asked her if anything was wrong, and she told me that she was fat. I asked her why she thought that, and she flat-out said “mommy told me”. \n\nI was livid. I went straight to my wife and asked her if it was true. She said yes. I, calmly, asked her why she would say such a thing to an 8 year old. She told me what she’d said before, about how she was fat as a child and her mother lied about it. She said her mother would scream and punish her if she so much as mentioned she wanted to lose weight, and how she had to find out from nasty comments by other kids at school that she was fat. She finished with “I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen to our daughter”\n\nI said “well, good job. You fucked her up for the rest of her life. How dare you say that to your own daughter”. She said “oh trust me, it would’ve been worse if she had to find out from other kids”. We went on for a while. I realized that she truly believed she was justified, body shaming and putting an 8 year old on a diet. \n\nI am still extremely mad about this. AITA for being angry at my wife? ######","completion":" NTA.  That is scarring and can lead to eating disorders.  Trust me, I know.  Putting her on a diet is not the answer, just teach her about healthy foods, portions, and exercise and do it TOGETHER.  Telling her she is fat is appalling.  I would be LIVID and I know first hand the effect that has on self esteem, confidence, social skills, and body image.  Seek counseling for her (maybe even family counseling).  And hug your little girl and tell her she is beautiful please... 💜 ######"}
{"prompt":"back story. so i've been at home because of quarantine, and decided to try grilling, burger mostly. my neighbor who is vegan and i know this for a long time. so 2 days ago i made burgers for my family, after we ate i started cleaning up the grilling stuff. and my neighbor walks outside and says \"i have to stop grilling because the smell of meat is disturbing her\". we both have Very big yards and i dont grill near her fence.\n\nWEBTA if i still grill? ######","completion":" NTA.  Tell your neighbor she needs to stop speaking to you because the sound is disturbing to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I were paying the ALL utilities\/food and giving my mom $300 towards the mortgage, and she was covering the rest. Summer 2018, we get evicted from our longtime home as she wasn't paying the mortgage. I took out two private school loans to get us a place to live during my last year of college. Basically I took out money for what would be room and board for Jr and Sr year. I used that money and put a large upfront payment on an townhouse for us to rent while I finished college.   \n\n\nCollege finished, I got a job making $73k\/yr. During senior year of college I was able to save up a bit of cash, seeing as we are living on loans. I used that cash as downpayment\/closing-costs and bought back our foreclosed home from the bank. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nIts going to be a year since we moved back in, and I am absolutely miserable. My sister and mother both lost their jobs. My sister has picked up job doing writing but it equates to like $12k\/year. My mother is collecting widows social security, and a pension, its like $30k\/year. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI'm footing the entire mortgage and electricity bill. I am fucking miserable, and I can't stand living with them anymore. I'm fairly certain they're miserable too but I don't know how to fix it for them. I want sell the house separate from them financially, but there quality of life would suffer greatly. Maybe live in poverty areas, if not be completely homeless. WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA.  Tell them you have footed the bill for X number of years and you are done.  They need to find a place to live.  Give them notice.  You will be putting the house up for sale in 30 days. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically I'm french so sorry for the fault. My neighbor had a cat and was breeding dogs to sell them and the dogs didn't love the cat. So sometimes she was coming home, eat and walk in the field next to our house. And one day the cat was overturn by a car and was in a bad situation and she decided to see us  and not to the cat owner. And when we take her to the vets her owners wouldn't pay for the bills !!!\n\nThe vet said to us that we can keep the cat and they will pay for it. So we decided to take her home and when the kids came to our house they said that we stole their cat !!!\n\nSo am I the Asshole for keeping my neighbor cat's ######","completion":" NTA.  Tell the kids that the cat chose you for its owners, as you are feeding It and taking it to the vet.  I know norms may be different in France, if that is where you are, but it is much safer for cats to be indoors, as your poor kitty can attest to.  Dangerous things like cars, wild animals, diseases, even domestic dogs can end a cat’s life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is working from home, I’m a stay at home mom, although I do freelance graphic design.\n\nAt work, my husband had a secretary\/assistant(he flip flops on what he calls her) that he apparently relies on very heavily. Because when he started working from home he started asking me to write things down for him, remind him to call people, he even asked me to cancel a meeting for him(I don’t actually even have the ability to do that). He asks me to send emails for him(also can’t do that).\n\nOur son is home and I’m homeschooling him, and also having to keep him entertained during the day, and while that’s not a full time job, it would prevent me from doing all the things my husband asks for even if I wanted to.\n\nI figured he was just having trouble adjusting and just continued his natural work flow, which happened to end up with him asking me to do things. But he never stopped so last week I asked him to stop asking me to do things.\n\nToday I sat him down and had a longer conversation that half the things he asks are not possible for me to do, and I don’t like feeling like his assistant, so I want him to stop.\n\nHe got annoyed and asked if I could just do the simple ones, and it’s only fair. I don’t understand what would be fair about it, but then he said he had a meeting and walked away. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Teaching *is* a full time job.  Plus you do freelance.  Has he considered asking his assistant to assist remotely? ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first child, she’s very early on in the pregnancy.\n\n\nWe had a family meal not too long ago and I asked my brothers girlfriend how she was handling the pregnancy and if she was concerned about the babies future health?\n\nShe paused and asked what I meant so I told her; my sister has type 1 diabetes, both my parents have type 2 along with heart problems, my parents and sister have eye sight problems, my mother suffers from borderline personality whilst my father has an addictive personality (alcohol and gambling) one of my brothers has BPD, two of my brothers have autism as well, my grandfather had schizophrenia and my aunt had epilepsy.\n\nApparently my brother had told her precisely none of this and now she’s freaking out and considering terminating over it.\n\nI’ve been getting texts from family that I’ve crossed a line and shouldn’t have told her, that I should’ve pulled my brother aside and asked him if he’d told her, some are telling me if she goes ahead with ending the pregnancy they don’t want to be in my life.\n\nI myself have decided not to have biological children due to my family’s medical history.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Take it from me, it's far better that you told her something that is extremely important like family medical hsitory now than for her to find out after the kid is born.  My mom never forgave my dad & his side of the family for not telling her the family medical history until I (the youngest) was 4, and from the great aunt who married into the family no less. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for a while now I’ve owned two horses, mine and my daughters (13F) and they’re about 4 now.\n\n2 years ago my sister got her daughter a horse, my niece is 12 now.\n\nThey usually only visit Fri,Sat &amp; Sun for about 2hours so I usually let them into the field of a morning, groom them and put them away of a night which I charge £30 every two weeks.\n\n(The field isn’t attached to our house, it’s on the other side of the road.)\n\nWe’re planning on moving, its a 5hr 12min drive meaning my sister couldn’t  drive here as frequently and she can’t afford to rent the field her daughters horse is in currently.\n\nI told her I’d keep her horse up here for her daughter for £160 a month which includes caring for the horse.\n\nShe’s offered to sell me the horse.\n\nI’m considering it, I did say I’d be willing to pick her daughter up for the weekends but that isn’t possible as the weekends are my nieces fathers custody agreement. \n\nI’ve been getting called\/texted by family members saying what an AH I am for exploiting family\/stealing my nieces horse when I can afford to do it for free especially while she’s going through a hard time (her parents divorced)\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Sounds like they don’t have much of an alternative. It also sounds like she wouldn’t be able to see the horse often whether she owned it or you owned it.  Divorce sucks for kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######","completion":" NTA.  Sounds like the two of you can discuss things, so when she talks about not being a fitness trainer forever, tell her now's the time to retrain for a second career.  If she can prove she is disabled at her current occupation, she might be able to get college tuition from a disability agency.  A couple of semesters and certifications in office work, for instance, might get her started.  \n\nAnyway, moving into one's own place is a step in becoming fully yourself.  Don't be guilted out of that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July.\nShe wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around. \n\nBecause of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him.\n\nIt might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend.\n\nSo, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ######","completion":" NTA.  Sounds like she isn’t ready to do this yet.  Also, as a side note, it may be more polite to refer to him as her deceased husband.  “Dead exhusband” makes it sound like they were divorced, and that doesn’t appear to be the case. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is a professional level chef, or I guess was. Anyway, I usually cook on weekends and Fridays, and she cooks during the rest of the week.\n \nThe thing is, when she sees me cooking, she always tries to help me. Like, I don’t add enough salt, then she adds more salt. It’s super annoying, and I’ve told her to stop that or else I wouldn’t cook about a hundred times. I decided to stop last Sunday. Now, she’s getting mad at me. She says that I’m throwing a tantrum. \n \nI’m not. I’m just keeping up my words for once. If she changes, then I’ll cook. \n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  So, so very NTA . So, I am not a professional chef.  But I am a really, really good cook.  So I understand your wife in my fucking bones.  It makes me *itch* to see people clumsily hacking up an onion with a dull-ass knife and undersalting everything and dude are you using preground pepper and then I have to yell at myself to shut the fuck up and let them cook for me.  Because y’know what?  It usually ends up great.  They’re doing their best, they’re cooking with as much skill and love as they have to bring to the table, they just want to make something good for me, and most of the time, it ends up just fine.  So I learned to chill. \n\nCooking is a really hard skill to learn much less master, people are already intimidated by cooking for a good cook, you can’t make it worse on them or they’ll just say screw it, you do it.  You shut up and you eat the good food they make you even if the potatoes are still a little stiff or it needs some salt.  So if an asshole like me can get over that hump, she can go have a glass of wine, let you cook for her without editorial input, and eat what you make with a smile. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  Sister doesn't like being called out, maybe next time she won't move your cane or will replace when she moves. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having an conversation with a friend and she was explaining to me how covid-19 has been really hard on her, and adding home schooling on top everything else just is the icing on top of it all. I made a brief comment how I’m so grateful I don’t have children at the moment.\n\nShe fucking lost it on me. \n\nI sympathize with her 100% but am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  She’s on edge and took it out on you ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been married for 4 years and instead of having a wedding we eloped. \n\nMy mother was completely devastated. No one else in my family really  cared, everyone was very happy that we got married. For the past 4 years my mother has been asking us to have a “real” wedding. She says it’s completely unfair we eloped and brings it up constantly.\n\nMy mother sends me photos of weddings dresses, has cried at family gatherings over the fact we won’t get married and took the dress I wore when I eloped and wore it. She mentioned multiple times that she looked better it in than I did and posted photos on social media of her in my dress. \n\nEven though it’s been 4 years, she is adamant that we should have a “wedding” for our fifth anniversary. She wants us to have a cake that we can cut together, me to have a dance with my dad and to have a huge party with relatives. We keep saying no but she proceeds to bring it up when other family members are around. She has said she will never forget that we took away experiencing a wedding from her. \n\nShe has offered to spend ridiculous amounts of money for a wedding and we have politely declined. She has told us we won’t be getting any money from her for anything else because the offer of money was only for a wedding (we don’t care)\n\nSo AITA? My family is torn. Some people think we should have a party so my mother can get over it and some have said wta for eloping since weddings are for family. My husband and I do not want to have a wedding and are glad we eloped. I have other siblings so it isn’t like there will never be a wedding. ######","completion":" NTA.  She sounds like a pill.\n\nI think she actually wants to be the bride.  If she is dying to spend for a wedding suggest she and your dad have a vow renewal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was a vegetarian for 3 years, and since been a vegan short over 3 years. My old sister a vegetarian for around 6 years and my youngest sister a vegetarian for around 4 years. \n\nMy parents are divorced and my sisters and I live with my dad and see my mom probably once a week. My dad has been a vegetarian for as long as I know, probably since I was 8, around 12 years but mom still eats meat (which is completely fine). \n\nMy youngest sister and I were going to my moms cottage for a week and she meal prepped us some veggie meals to bring because the meals she was planning to eat throughout the week all had meat. Probably on our third or fourth day at the cottage, my mom was making chili for dinner. My sister and I both assumed that my mother was preparing us the meal prepped chili she made us, which she told us she was. As we began eating it, we saw and tasted ground beef. We confronted her causing a huge fight to break out. Since then we haven’t talked to my mom, it’s been about 3 weeks. ######","completion":" NTA.  She knew what she was doing. It's not like this was a new thing.  She probably was just trying to pull one over on you to try and \"catch\" you not being able to tell the difference. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I am a White and Japanese 17 year old non-binary person. My dads father came from Japan and met my paternal grandmother a White woman. My dad married my mother (an blue-eyed irish polish white woman) and had me. I came out with curly, (My mother) dark hair (My dad) and blue eyes (My mother) I am pale. \n\nMy maternal grandmother (White, Catholic woman) has always been pissed off about my mom having a kid with another race. She refuses to accept my Asian culture. \n\nI am visting my grandma, and I have been missing my dad's cooking  (He's an amazing cook) and I asked my grandma if we could go to a Japanese store to get some food items I needed to make stuff. She sighed and huffed \"When are you going to realize you're not Asian\" I corrected her saying I very much am Asian she told me I didn't look like it. I told her that I got that from my mother, she told me I am in no way Japanese and I should stop appropriating their culture. \n\nI got mad and stormed off, I really wasn't in the mood for aruging. She has met and seen my dad, but my paternal grandfather died from a heart attack before I was born, and neither me nor my maternal grandmother has met him.\n\nI have tried talking to her about it, but she always fires back with \"But you look white, therefore you are white\" I really don't know what to do or say to her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  She is being ridiculous.  Just because you look “white” it doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of other cultures. ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to current global circumstances all our staff meetings are through a zoom like platform.\n\n\nWhile we were waiting for the office manager to get on, everyone was showing off their pets and then the moms in there group started to talk about their kids, etc. \n\nMy coworker (35F), lets call her Z, was talking her daughter (7) being stubborn and “unwilling to do anything she doesn’t want.” Ya know. It’s whatever, nobody cared cause this meeting wasn’t about people’s children or their parenting. I basically forgot she said anything about her kid.\n\nThis is where I may have been an ass:\nAt the end of our meeting Z grabbed her daughter walking by and shoved her in front of the camera and said “here’s miss brat who never listens!” and I just got annoyed and said “we love strong women, don’t change!” \n\nIt’s just a personal annoyance of mine when people talk down about their kids, but I’m not a parent. So I really can’t say whether or not that’s normal, but as someone who came from an abusive home growing up, it rubbed me the wrong way.\n\nMy other coworker after the meeting said that was a dick move but I don’t think I was being an ass, just trying to make light of a weird way to describe and then show off your child. AITA? \n\nIf I am an asshole, I’ll say sorry to Z but she hasn’t said anything to me directly but I could tell it annoyed her. \n(Also, I’m 25F to make it more clear) ######","completion":" NTA.  She humiliated her child in front of a bunch of strangers (to the child) and you said something to take the heat out of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.\n\nI asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15\/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.\n\nAnyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.\n\nThese last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it. \n\nI don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ######","completion":" NTA.  Send out an email\/text that says “I’m having some issues with folks either paying their agreed upon amount late, or in some cases not at all.  *Please set yourself a reminder*, or alternatively, let me know in advance that you want to drop out.  And going forward, if your portion of the bill isn’t received by the 15th, the assumption will be that you want to discontinue, and you’ll be removed from the account.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousins \"James\" and \"Lydia\" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest \"Grace\" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family. \n\nWhen we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole \"Wow, you're so big!\" thing and asked Lydia, \"Is she walking yet?\" Lydia very harshly snapped, \"No. But nothing is wrong with her.\" Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was \"Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less.\" That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.\n\nI recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Seems like you hit a sore spot, and she overreacted. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all, \n\nSo I referred my girlfriend for my old job (I was more or less promoted for got a 10k raise) She got the job and is now also paid 10K more a year than she used to be paid. We live together as well. \n\nI was given a referral bonus of 1K. She is insistent that I share it with her. I was not too fond of this idea and she is now very upset because “I make so much more money than her” and “she does so much for me” and “she works so hard at the new job” etc. Am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  Referral bonuses for new hires is very standard practice, and is not meant to be shared for anyone who demands it.  Tell your gf to refer somebody else for hire and she can have that whole bonus if they are hired. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a babysitter who watches my two young girls while me and my husband go to work. She brings her daughter with her. She’s always been great. One day, she was about 10 minutes late which made me late for work. It’s fine because it hasn’t happened before, and she apologized and I thought we were all good. \n\nA day later, she lets me know that she had been helping my daughter on her iPad and some texts popped up between me and my husband. I was complaining to him that the babysitter was late that morning and it made me late to work. Well, she kept reading and read all our texts for the past month. I had also complained to him once that our babysitter had eaten all our Oreos. It was just funny banter, and I got over it quickly but I was still whining. I would have never said anything to her about it. \n\nAnyway, the babysitter texted me the night before she was supposed to watch my kids next that she was quitting because of those texts she read. She was really hurt I would complain about her to him. I feel horrible but also violated that she read all our texts. I apologized for what I said but I still feel sad about it all. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Reading texts that pop up is one thing, but the next step is to immediately tell the parents that those texts are popping up and the next step is to NOT VIOLATE SOMEONE'S PRIVACY BY READING TEXTS GOING BACK AN ENTIRE MONTH.\n\nBabysitter was unprofessional by doing that and you're better off securing your electronics and hiring someone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"When my girls were 5-6 years old they were cute as buttons and would often be used for kid's clothing fashion parades. Their mother usually arranged all this. But one day an advertising agency called and unfortunately, got me on the phone. The job was for a beach-side fashion photography shoot. I said they were available and how much would they be paid? The woman told me there was \"no fee involved\". I asked her if the photographer was being paid? \"Yes\". Was the catalogue printing company being paid? \"Yes\" Was the client paying a fee to the agency for the promotion? \"Yes\" \"So, out of all these people involved in a for-profit commercial enterprise, the only ones NOT being paid were the actual models?\" \"Yes\", she replied. \"But they are only 5+6 years old\". I expressed my wish NOT to teach my kids how to be exploited and the woman asked if she could speak to the mother instead. Of course, their mother hit the roof and told me I was an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA.  People keep expecting artists and models to do work for exposure.  Good on you for recognizing you and your family deserve compensation for your time and efforts. ######"}
{"prompt":"I never wanted kids. The idea of family is very suffocating to me and I was never willing to date a man with children. When i met my husband he said he didn't have any and didn't want any. A year later when he was drinking he admitted that he had gotten his high school girlfriend pregnant when they were both 18 and begged her to abort but she hadn't wanted to so he had a son who he had never met and he had signed away his parental rights. I was annoyed that he lied but I 100% believe that men have the right to walk away.\n\nWhen my stepson was sixteen his mother passed away and he found my husband's contact information from an old friend. I completely supported my husband taking him and stepping up, and I actually really liked him. We have a good friendship, but obviously he doesn't view me as a parent. He married the most annoying woman ever and they have three children.\n\nHe recently asked if we would be able to babysit overnight so they could go to a wedding. My husband agreed and I reminded everyone I don't babysit. My husband said it would be fine and I didn't need to help. Well that lasted about ten minutes, because my husband does not know what to do with children and was begging for me to help. His DIL gave him a list of rules and things they aren't allowed to eat, so he was in a pissy mood over that and once the kids actually started running around and making noise he couldn't handle it and expected me to step in.\n\nWell I didn't. I'm actually a terrible person and let them have water guns, so my husband ended up throwing a tantrum and locking himself in the bedroom. I did make sure the children didn't die, but like I stated to everyone involved, I do not babysit. They got into food they weren't supposed to have (no allergies) and didn't sleep at all, but they are alive. DIL is furious with me, because I'm the woman and I am apparently responsible, and my husband is off sulking. ######","completion":" Nta.  Ovaries doesnt mean you fucking know what to do with children. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (M32) and I (F27) discussed children before we got married, at that point we were both unsure of whether or not we wanted children. Last year he told me that he wanted to try for a baby and I agreed on the premise that I would get to decide the full names of our children (maybe this seems petty to some of you, but the names are very important to me). To be honest, I would have likely still had children with him even if he said no, but he said yes. We did agree that he’d get to veto any one name I chose if he hated it though. \n\nFast forward a year and I’m 5 months pregnant. We’ve decided to keep the baby’s gender a surprise so we’ve been working on girl and boy names. He vetoed Anastasia and talked me out of Lucianna, so for a girl we landed on Clara. For a boy, he vetoed Logan and I eventually chose Sebastian. Sorted, right? Wrong. \n\nHis mother is desperate for the baby to be named after herself, her husband and her parents (with the first name being either the baby’s great grandmother’s name or great grandfather’s name, and the middle name being baby’s grandmother or father’s name.). She’s been blowing up our phones about it but truthfully (and I feel mean saying this) I don’t like any of their names. \n\nShe’s been blowing up my husband’s phone and he’s starting to argue with me about the name. I reminded him of our deal but he told me we should honour the family and his dead grandparents (who died long before we made our deal). \n\nI will love my baby no matter what he\/she is called, but I desperately don’t want to name my baby Sharon or Nigel. \n\nAITA for not wanting to name my baby after my husband’s dead grandparents? AITA for caring so much about the name? Does baby’s name even matter as long as we love it? Am I being selfish? ######","completion":" NTA.  Only those involved in the making of or squeezing out of the baby get a say in the name. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (25M) am covered in visible burn scars everywhere except my face neck and back and I also have a prosthetic leg for my left leg which is from the thigh downwards. These are from 2 separates: a house fire when I was a kid and a car crash was the leg when I was 20.\n\nAnyway, it’s warm here so I was just doing my once a week shop and I left in a pair of shorts, a shirt and a hoodie. I walked to the store and when I got there, I did some shopping and I decided to take my hoodie off because I got too hot. My legs were on full display so everybody could notice my prosthetic and my burn scars and they saw more scarring when my bare arms were exposed. I’ve been used to looks for years so it’s not really an issue and I didn’t think it would be.\n\nI got to the checkout and there was a huge line and this old woman said that I was traumatising her and other people with having my hoodie off. Nobody else was saying anything except her and I ignored her initially but she kept telling me I needed to at least put my hoodie back on as it was incredibly off putting to see my visible scarring.  I was getting really annoyed and I didn’t want to say anything to be an ass but she didn’t let up, continually calling me inconsiderate and it got so much that I asked the guy in front of me if I could skip in line and he said yes.\n\nI got home and tried to block out the old woman’s comments but they’ve really gotten to me. I could have easily put my hoodie on and just been hot and saved people from more than they needed to see.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Of course you are NTA! This story broke my heart.  How selfish of the woman to say she was traumatized by the sight of some scars.  It’s not like you ran around shirtless screaming “LOOK AT ME!” You should not feel ashamed at all if someone is upset\/not used to seeing a different body ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my husband are trying for a baby right now and his parents know about it. They told my sister in law I guess, we don’t have a bad relationship even tho we live far away, we still talk. She called me and brought up the baby topic, asked me if we were really trying and I told her yes. She asked “why now? There’s a huge pandemic going on and it’s kinda selfish bringing baby into all of this mess”, I told her that we have been trying for months already. She sarcastically asked why couldn’t we wait for a year or two and why was having a baby right now so fucking important. I just told her to kind her own business and hung up. \n\nOf course 2 days later there’s a post on her Facebook about “selfish people not caring about anything other than their stupid wants and needs.” She told her parents about it too and they’re telling me that I was a bit too harsh and I need to apologize. ######","completion":" NTA.  Nobody should be passing comments on other people’s legitimate life choices. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a weird one, sorry in advance. This was 5 months ago and it’s still a fight my bf and I are having. Clearly since pregnancy and miscarriages aren’t easy topic for people to talk about, I’ve come here. \n\nI (27F) was about 6 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding really heavily randomly. To cut a long story short - I was miscarrying. Didn’t know I was pregnant, wasn’t upset about it. It was really whatever. I have no intention of children, I guess the shot failed me.\n\nThey sent me home from the hospital after a mental health check to make sure I was okay. Like I said, wasn’t upset about it, didn’t bother me much besides the physical pain obviously. They gave me the pill that helps to move the process along faster at home instead of waiting. When I was at home and sitting on the toilet, I felt it like fall out. So I just kind of look at for awhile and said “I didn’t think I would be able to see it!” (it was in the sac I think?) My boyfriend then said “stop being so fucking weird about this.” He then accused me of wanting to KEEP IT. When I said “it’s just curiosity, this is new to me too.” He stormed off and said he doesn’t want to be with someone who could be so heartless as not to care about this and treat “him” like a science project. \n\nI asked him if he wanted to be pregnant or have kids and he said no but I should “respect” his kid more than that. I told him it’s happening to me and we just feel different about it. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive, I said sorry at the time but he hasn’t let it go. \n\nWas I the asshole? It was something that was just happening to me and I was curious about it. He’s never hinted he’s wanted to kids or pro life of anything so this attitude is new to me. ######","completion":" NTA.  No one gets to tell you how you should feel about a miscarriage. ######"}
{"prompt":"Well I want to keep it short: I have a little backyard and since it's starting to get warm I like to sit there in my chair and read, without a shirt on.\nSome years ago I got a turned cross with a Pentagram tattoed on my chest\/ribs (don't want to explain why, it was simply my decision as some others have normal crosses tattooed and NO im not satanic).\n\nWell my older neighbor lady likes to watch people doing stuff in their backyards from her window on the second floor. Yesterday she came over and asked me to put a shirt on, since it's disturbing and \"not normal\". Because of the way she said that to me I said that I won't do it and it's not normal either to stalk people doing stuff in their own garden.\nShe got upset and even said she will call the police, wich she didn't at the end.\n\nAm I the asshole now because of the way I reacted? ######","completion":" NTA.  Neighborhood spy’s are a pain. Better not to give in and good to remind that her own behavior is anti social. Nothing wrong with relaxing in your own space. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend (28F) and I (30F) live together for over a year now. She is currently packing for a week-long camping trip with her dad and brothers and was charging up both of my external battery packs. I told her I didn’t want her taking both. She can take the older smaller one but the big one is expensive and she has a history of not taking care of my stuff (and taking my stuff without asking). I said I don’t want the charger to go camping and she threw a fit saying it’s not fair because of I’m not using it then she should be able to take it. I said if she wants one then she should get her own, that I’m being nice by even letting her take one. \nShe says since we live together we share everything and she should be allowed to take whatever she wants. Now she’s throwing a huge fit.\nIt feels like maybe I’m being mean now and I should just let her take it. But I’m annoyed that I’m expected to just let her have my things for use whenever she wants. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  My husband and I have been married for over 40 years and we ASK before we leave the house with something that the other purchased.  Also, her being careless with your belongings is an acceptable reason to not lend to her.\n\nBut now you have a great gift idea for her if you dare! ######"}
{"prompt":"  So I was out for a walk today (something I frequently do) and I have both of my dogs, they're very fluffy so never tempting to pet. However they are attached to their family so they like those people but if I stranger approaches they will bark and if you run they will probably tackle you (they're not trying to be aggressive they are herding dogs it's what they do) so I just keep that in mind and don't let strangers try and pet them. \n\n  While I was walking two children ran up to me, a boy and a girl they looked around four mabye five. They asked if they could pet my dog, of course I said \"no, they really don't like to be pet\" Then pleading ensued and I  just repeated my previous answer. They children then ran back to (what I believe) was their mother. And starting talking to her about me(I couldn't hear but they were pointing) They mother and the now smug looking children came back and the mother preceeded to yell at me about not allowing her kids to pet my dogs.\"kids like to pet dogs they should get to pet them\" and \"not everyone can own a dog those who can afford dogs should allow others to pet them\" (this is kinda odd because I live in a more expensive gated area that you can't just get into,so the arg coming from another resident seems strange)\n\nYeah I know that logically I made the right decision I didn't want my dogs scaring her children and then having more problems, not to mention social distancing which they would have been voilating. I ended up just putting my hand up to stop her and walking away. I feel like I've done something wrong though, I don't get yelled at like that often and am generally well liked, so maybe I deserved it. Am I the Asshole ? ######","completion":" NTA.  My comeback is “well not every dog likes to be pet.  Sorry that your kids feeling are hurt but I would rather than then an accident happening where your kids are physically hurt.” ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since my (28M) gym closed a few months ago, I've developed a pretty well-stocked home gym in my garage. The only problem is my garage is terribly lit, dim, and depressing. I've been working out with the door open for natural light, usually early in the mornings when nobody's out.\n\nYesterday I slept in pretty late, and only got to working out at 11. 15 minutes in, my neighbor who was doing gardening work across the street yelled over that I should \"quit showing off\"\n\nI put on a tank top (I'd just been wearing leggings up to that point) and partially closed the garage door, but she sighed and shook her head on and off until she went inside.\n\nAITA here? I was behind a bookshelf most of the time and I didn't think she'd see me. ######","completion":" NTA.  Maybe she was hitting on you? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 20yr zoology and environmental science student from the US. I was on a hike with my mom and brother to celebrate the end of the online semester when I saw a honeybee on a dandelion. I looked down to take a picture and started talking about how they are endangered and how cute they are when my 18 yr brother full on stomped on the bee. I yelled at him in surprise and was super pissed that the bee was dead for no reason. He claimed he did it bc he’s scared of bees. \nI was mad at him the rest of the day, basically just being curt and not very talkative with him. My parents think I am just being sensitive, which I probably am, but I think its wrong to hurt an endangered species just because you are scared of them. It’s a bee, please just walk away. But in the end I may be acting like an asshole for giving him the cold shoulder. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Killing anything for no reason (and \"I'm scared of them and it was there\" is no fucking reason) is most certainly wrong and I'm personally thankful you called him out on it.  \n\nRather than giving him the cold shoulder, better to explain exactly why his action is upsetting.  Killing for no reason is psychopathic.  He killed a creature that is crucial to the ecosystem and struggling due to manmade pressures and chemicals.  He doesn't need to actively DO anything to protect species if he can't be bothered, but at least not killing them when they're minding their business in the wild is a good place to start.\n\nSide note: if it was a honeybee it would be a Western honey bee - which means it came from an apiary somewhere nearby and wouldn't be considered endangered, unlike many indigenous species which totally are.  Not that your brother knew or cared, and not that it matters in general! ######"}
{"prompt":"So, partner has a child and they are dictating everything we do while they are with us. From demanding playtime, how they do school (since we are on lock down), what they want to eat.... All typical first grade age kid stuff right? I tend to roll my eyes and let my partner deal because they're not my kid and I can't be bothered with the hassle of them passing on to their mom that I'm being mean or whatever by telling them to stop being ridiculous. \n\nThat's before we get onto them telling me what I can't eat because it's \"theirs\". I pay for what I eat. I can eat what I want, when I want... But it's making me feel like I can't eat when they are around because they make out I'm eating \"their\" food. It can be anything... cakes, chocolate, chips, drinks... You name it, and they see me eating it? It's theirs and I'm told not to eat any more... By the kid. I'm being guilted by a kid. \n\nIt's getting to the point where I'm starting to have to bite my tongue because it's really making me angry that I pay for food and can't eat it when I want. Partner just shrugs it off and says the kid is just a kid.But it's more than that. I'm being made to feel like I can't eat stuff I've paid for when kid is around... So, AITA for being angry at this or am. I just overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA.  Just tell the kid that you’re an adult and adults eat when they want. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been paying for my netflix account for about 8 years. In that time, I've let my dad use my netflix account. I told my dad a couple months ago I was thinking about cancelling my netflix account since I havent used it in months. (Me and my S.O always watch netflix together and use his account). My dad said \"do what you gotta do\". I cancelled it and he texted me saying he wants to take over my account and change everything over to him. I told him he should just start his own Netflix account. Theres only a couple days left on my Netflix account, and I get an email stating the billing had been updated. I attempt to log in and it states my email is not associated with any account(he changed the email too). On one hand, I understand it's just a netflix account and he didnt want to lose everything he watched or his profile, but I also had a profile I didnt want to lose. It would be there if I ever started my account again which is my right since I've paid for it for 8 years. Also, I feel like its rude he did it when I asked him not to. I called Netflix and they said theres nothing they can do. So, AITA? \n\nTldr: cancelled Netflix account that I've been paying for. My dad asked to take over my account and I said no and he did anyway. \n\n(Sorry for formatting. On mobile) ######","completion":" NTA.  Just keep an eye on  your credit card, make sure you're not still paying for it! ######"}
{"prompt":"I love kids but I want a kid free night. My family won’t stop asking if they can bring there kids and I say no kids allowed every time. My cousins are calling me an asshole and selfish for not letting them come. They said they should be allowed to bring there kids because they are well behaved and don’t want to pay for a babysitter. I don’t have kids but I don’t think I would ever assume I could bring my kids to someone else’s wedding. ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s your wedding.  You get to make the rules. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account, on mobile, first time poster, etc. \n\nMy partner (20M) “Jack” and I (20F) recently decided to get married. We have been starting to plan some broad aspects of our wedding so we’ll know more of what we’re looking for when we set them in stone. One thing we’ve started looking at is the number of guests we’re going to be inviting, since we want it to be as small of an affair as it can be with our large families. \n\nThis has me a little concerned about two guests I really want to invite: my ex best friend “Lindy”’s (20F) parents. Lindy and I were friends for about 15 years, but she basically ghosted me and told me I wasn’t her friend and she didn’t want me to contact her ever again. However, I have maintained some contact with her parents, who actually took my side and apologized for her. We have met in public a few times (I live in a different city now so not often) and they have met Jack. I sent them a card when they went through a tragedy, whenever we run into each other they are always so happy to see me. Overall I would say my relationship with them is great, and if they were not her parents there would be no question that we would invite them to the wedding. \n\nI don’t know if I’d be an asshole for inviting them, since I have zero interest in inviting Lindy. If I invited them, I’m concerned it would look like I was still bitter toward Lindy. Also, I feel bad for probably putting them in a tough position, having to choose between myself and their daughter. \n\nI asked Jack what he thought about it, and he said that if I would invite them if Lindy wasn’t their daughter, it shouldn’t make a difference that she is their daughter, especially since she was the one who ended the friendship and not me. I am still unsure, but I want to sort this out ASAP so that it doesn’t become a major stresser for me later. \n\nWIBTA if I invited them even though I’m not inviting their daughter? ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s your wedding, invite who you want there to support you.  It’s considerate that you’re taking their daughter into account, but she ended the friendship, not you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16f) sister (22f) keeps taking my clothes and wearing them in front of my friends. This wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t BRAND NEW outfits. That makes it so that when I go to wear the clothes everyone thinks I’m wearing HER clothes. I ended up going to my parents for help because no matter how I react she will not stop raiding my wardrobe. She is constantly telling me all the things she does for me (rides to school, dance class etc.) but I do chores to scrounge together the money to buy decent clothes I like, she has a full time job, doesn’t pay rent and can go buy the clothes SHE wants. I don’t see why she should be entitled to my wardrobe especially when I do all my own shopping. Am I the asshole for involving our parents\/ not letting her wear my clothes? ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s rude for her to take them, especially more so because you haven’t worn them yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother wants me to stay with her even when I'm older, because I'm 'not ready' to live on my own. I can cook and know how to wash clothes and dishes. I know which items to buy at the store. Heck, I even know how to take care of hangovers so I should be able to help my friend if she ever has one. \n\nWhat my mom really wants me to do is to take care of her. All of my life I've been taking care of my mother, even though she's not even sick. When I was younger, I would nurse her hangovers even while being sick. \n\nI know how to take care of myself. Me and my bestfriend have been planning this ever since we've met 3 years ago. As soon as I graduate or turn 19, I'll move in with her without telling my mom. The reason I won't tell my mom is because if I do, she'll try to make me stay. \n\nI've been keeping a lot of anger in me because my mother never listens to me. Every time I try to voice my opinion she threatens to disconnect my phone and take it away because surely that's where I'm getting my attitude. And I'm just so tired from having to take care of her even when she's perfectly able to do it herself.\n\nShe always makes promises that she never keeps, even if it might kill her. And it's just so draining to make sure that she doesn't die in the middle of the night from drinking so much. I'm tired of being the mother in this relationship. \n\nSo Reddit,  WIBTA if I go through with this the way I planned to? ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s infuriating that your mother would want to hold you back for selfish reasons.  If you can cook and do laundry, you’re doing better than I was when I left home at 18.  \n\nYou’re going to be great.  Go, live your life! Your mom survived before you came along, and it is not your responsibility to take care of her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me. \n\nAll of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.\n\nIf I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.\n\nWIBTA if I pointed it out? ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s always ok to state how you feel to your parents (assuming they’re not abusive). If there is one that you find easier to talk to, maybe you could start with that one. Edit: added phrase. ######"}
{"prompt":"I won a national scholarship for excelling in my A levels so my high school had a ceremony honouring the 9 of us from our year who did and also invited the parents of everyone. My mother decided that it's just a small ceremony, wasn't important and no other parent would really bother to go so she just dropped me off and went to the gym.\n\nIt turns out that every parent came and I was the only one alone but I just worked with it. When I arrived home she asked if any other parent was there and I said yes. She asked how many and I said all others. She said I made her look bad for not calling her to come. My father said the same thing.\n\nSo AITA for not calling and telling her to come to the ceremony ######","completion":" NTA.  It’s a shame your parents care more about their image than supporting you.  Congratulations on your accomplishments!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a cosplayer (F, 29) and i make cosplay outfits from scratch for a living alongside having investments, so i can really spend time and make costumes\/accessories with love and care.\n\nI do not have a price list as every outfit\/accessory is different and custom made. I have a list of what i have made previously but i always welcome new orders. I state very clearly that a generic 'Size XS to XXXL' is not applicable as i prefer for outfits to fit perfectly on the person so i either need to come size you up, or you do measurements yourself. \n\nTo be clear the taller\/larger a person is, the more it costs in materials. And vice versa. More material = more money.\n\nThis woman, (G) contacted me and asked about a previous Wonder Woman costume i'd done. The previous buyer had kindly got professional photos done and allowed me to use them on the shop. She would be around a M size (UK). G asked for the same costume. Of course no problem, i just need you to send your measurements\/get them myself. G says 'No need, do the same in picture i am similar size'. I ask her politely that i would like her exact measurements to do a better job. She gave me the measurements (after a bit of back and forth) eventually and she was a bigger woman than the picture. I had a quick math session and concluded it would be around £250. The original cost was £210 (stated on website). When i told her the price she blew up on me. She said that the price was £210 and was just fat shaming her. I told her i needed more material hence the increase in price. She has blocked me and wrote up a review about her experience and she' really gone ham on how i've 'fat shamed' her. Now i feel like i am fat shaming people by having a higher price and i don't want to ruin potential customers. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA.  It's unfortunate she left a bad review. Is there a way to respond? Anyone with half a brain realizes that a plus sized person is going to require more fabric, those little darts y'all sew in so we look more curvy and not just like a big fat cucumber - hince, the expense will be higher. \nObviously this customer thinks she is a smaller person in her mind's view, when reality is opposite.  She is hypersensitive about this. \nI would suggest a written or spoken rule about your works being priced by the inch ( or yard or whatever else you sewers measure in) and before you even attempt to quote any work for Mrs XYZ. That way she knows upfront. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is: \n\nMy youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired. \n\nThe issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no. \n\nNow, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can \"be together for graduation\". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######","completion":" NTA.  It's not just a van, it's your brother's accessibility device too.  It's really selfish of people to ask to borrow it at all.  Also- wtf, there's a pandemic people! ######"}
{"prompt":"I am working from home and it's less than ideal. They're putting a new sewerline in the street, retrofitting an apartment building across the street and building an apartment building next door. Plus you have gardeners with their leaf blowers, lawn mowers and weed whackers service a different building everyday.\n\nI can block most of the noise with a sound machine. \n\nWhat I can't block out is this food truck that parks right in front of my building everyday and blares music and honks their loud horn every 10 minutes for over an hour straight. I got so tired of it that I kindly asked them if they really needed to be that loud and they said they did to let the workers know they were there. They didn't give a fuck if they were bothering the people working from home. \n\nSo to teach them a lesson, I purposely park my car in front of my building even though I have my own space in the back. Now they can't park in the middle of where all the workers are. There isn't anywhere to park for a few blocks because all the space is taken up by the workers and their work trucks. I know for a fact that it's costing them business because I see the workers eating McDonald's or whatever is now closer and not food from the truck two or three blocks away. ######","completion":" NTA.  It's a public street, you can park where you want.  They shouldn't be making that level of avoidable noise in a residential area, especially during a lockdown when people can't get away from it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Thanks to the quarantine my boyfriend is now working his consulting job from home full time. I am currently completing my teaching degree which  consisted of me being placed in a classroom with high schoolers for 20hrs\/week and also working a part time job 20hrs\/week. Now, with schools being shut down all of my classes have been moved online. I am still working my “essential” job 20hrs per week out of the house but otherwise I am home with him while he’s working. \n\nOur apartment is only ~650 sq ft. Which means his desk is in the middle of our kitchen\/living room area. He is on conference calls every morning usually ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. \n\nDuring these meetings he says running our kitchen sink or using the maker coffee is too loud and I should be prohibited from doing them...\n\nHe says that if he’s talking during the meeting that the mic picks up the noises and is too distracting. On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying. \n\nHe thinks it is disrespectful of me to make noise during his conference calls when he has asked me several times not to do so. I think it is disrespectful for him to demand I not do normal daily activities in my own home. \n\nAlso, when he is working (in a meeting or not) I never watch tv, listen to music, or talk but I will do things like make food, or coffee, or run the damn sink. His coworkers have commented that he must not have children, because his calls are so quiet.. so I feel like I’m okay to do these things as long as it isn’t excessive. He thinks I shouldn’t do them period. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for making noise while my boyfriend is in conference calls for work? ######","completion":" NTA.  It sounds like you have taken reasonable measures to accommodate him already.  Expecting you to live in a bubble of silence is pretty unreasonable.  He should get better headphones if every sound bothers him like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"im in a Facebook group where people from my city and nearby areas will post pictures of places they've been and outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing, skiing, airsoft or others. I posted in the group chat \"I'm going to this mountain on this day, anyone interested in coming\" and someone commented saying that she's interested. I texted her and I asked if she wanted to go and she said yeah i'll go hiking anywhere. I asked if she had any friends interested in coming and she said its late and we can talk later (it was like 11 pm). Next day I texted her \"hey so which day works best?\" and she blocked me. I thought that was pretty fucking rude, like if she didn't want to come or couldn't she could've just said so. Whatever i guess. \n\nWell about 2 weeks later I made a new post about a place I'm going hiking too, which requires some equipment which i've been able to get from my brother. I said we can share some. She unblocks me and tells me she's interested in coming and I responded back with \"sorry but I'm not interested in you coming\" \n\nShe asked me why and i told her its pretty obvious and i don't want any drama on this trip. She kept spamming me with texts saying i need to let her go and i told her \"its no and I'm not changing my mind\" and i muted her. She gets all bitchy in the post about it and people responded back with \"i think he's wise to not want to take you\" \n\nSome people said i was petty for this since i was taking basically everyone else who wanted to go except for her. I think what she did was rude, and reason enough to take her but more so i don't trust her, and i don't want her starting drama and shit so fuck her. She's really really immature especially for someone 5 years older than me (19 and 25) ######","completion":" NTA.  It sounds like you dodged a bullet. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.\n\nWhen we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing. \n\nMy husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.\n\nThen today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”. \n\nAm I being difficult here? ######","completion":" NTA.  it might sound harsh but she put him up for adoption, he's YOUR kid. you are allowed to make whatever rules you want about when and how your kid ends up on social media. \n\nadditionally, she was wrong to agree to it(even if dismissively) and then post anyways. either she regrets adopting him out or she just wants clout for having done it. either way she should respect your wishes about YOUR son. ######"}
{"prompt":"During high school, I (F) was experimenting with my style and found that I was more comfortable in men's clothing. I started wearing suites a lot and love colorful ties and bow ties. My Mum is super conservative and obsessed with gender roles and went a while where she couldn't look at me without crying. When I decided to shave my head she wouldn't even look at me. \n\nEventually I started seeing her again but she is always twitchy and nervous, solely due to the fact that I was wearing men's clothing. She refused to even talk to me until I took my tie off, which is really upsetting to me, and I was tired of bending to her whims, so I told her that I would not take my tie off unless she took her bracelet off, which she was visibly hurt by. She said that I was being unreasonable and silly, and that she just needed time, yet she has had over two years by now. She still won't even call me by the correct name.\n\nI feel guilty whenever I kind of prod her into accepting me, because she seems so fundamentally hurt by who I am. AITA for not wearing women's clothing around her and making her take off something if she wants me to take my tie off? ######","completion":" NTA.  It makes as much sense to ask her to remove a bracelet. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically I like both men and women. And thus I've called myself bisexual since high school. Seemed pretty straightforward and logical to me and no one ever questioned it. Recently though I was chatting with a (likely to be ex-) friend from college who has been giving me shit for awhile about some things. She's in the past jumped on me for saying \"LGBT\" instead of \"LGBTQ+\" and for not having my pronouns in my social media bios and is amazed that I, an LGBT person is \"so insensitive\", (she's cis and straight too.) I've long just chuckled at this. Well last night I made a comment about being bi and we had a convo like this:\n\nHer: You shouldn't use that term, it's transphobic and anti-nonbinary.\n\nMe: um, what? I like both men and women, and used it my whole life. Plus it's part of the LGBTQ+ acronym (humoring her)\n\nHer: yes but it's archaic and considered offensive now. It erases people outside of the gender binary. The correct term now is \"pansexual\".\n\nMe: That's silly. It's pretty simple I like both men and women, I like both male and female bodies.\n\nHer: Do you like only male and female bodies? What about non-binary bodies?\n\nWe went for awhile about it. I basically just said I don't care what someone identifies as mentally if I think their body is hot and I like both male and female bodies. However I only like masculine men and feminine women and people who resemble that. She was screaming at me about how I was erasing people and how insane it is that I'm a queer person who still believes in associating gender with one's body and genitals. I'm stunned.\n\nSo AITA? I'm kind of amazed that someone who isn't a conservative or homophobe would flip out over this. ######","completion":" NTA.  Ironic that she wants to erase you and who you are, but claims you want to erase someone else?  Exactly who is she claiming you are trying to \"erase\"?  Even if you were not SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to nonbinary\/non-cisgendered folks, that doesn't mean you erase them from your mind or existence.  SMDH ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely.\n\nMy boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA?\n\nEDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50\/50!  ######","completion":" NTA.  Inviting someone, anyone to live with you at any time requires all people living there to ok it.  Inviting someone to live with you during a super stressful quarantine is a HUGE ask.  Inviting an EX to live with you in a very small space during quarantine is an insane ask.  Honestly he was kinda an asshole for even asking you, very few people would be ok with that.  He is a major asshole for trying to make you the bad guy.  And an indication that if she moved in it would suddenly be them vs. You. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are currently expecting a baby in November. I have 3 other children from a previous marriage. My husband is off work on Monday, Thursday and Friday and I’m off on the weekend so we only need a sitter for Tuesday and Wednesday while we both work.\n\nMy grandmother who raised me has always taken care of my 3 children while I work and they usually keep them one or two nights a week since they like to spend time with then kids. \n\nMy husband and I have been talking about where the baby will go while we are at work and I would rather my grandmother watch them. Or even his father would be fine to watch the baby when he wasn’t working. His dad owns a painting business so he usually makes his own hours. \n\nNow my husbands mother wants to keep the baby and I do not want her to watch it. She’s a nice person but, she has major health problems. She has had several strokes, uses a walker, has hearing aids, has a pace maker and is on 30 different medications. Yes, 30. \nMy husband has to do her medication everyday because she will over take her medicine which she does a lot. She’s been hospitalized several times for “over medicating” \n\nShe just doesn’t seem capable enough to care for a young child. My husband said that she wouldn’t watch it, alone. Meaning her mother would be there as well. Now that would be all fine and good if my husbands grandmother didn’t call my husband everytime my mother in law over medicates and he has to leave to go pick his mom up and take her to the hospital and if the baby was there at that time then I would have to leave work too so I could pick the baby up. \n\nIt would just make more sense for the baby to go to my grandmothers house. WIBTA for telling her and my husband that she can’t babysit the baby? ######","completion":" NTA.  If your MIL is too addled\/fragile to take her 30 medications properly and needs to use a walker, she's not physically or mentally capable of caring for a baby.  This would be dangerous for both her and the baby and would be a horrific idea. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: Me (29f) and husband (32M) have been married for just over 3 months.\n\nMy sister bought a Birkin in store a few months ago, and asked me if I wanted to buy it from her. I've always wanted that specific bag, and it's been sold out everywhere so when she offered I jumped. \n\nMy husband and I have separate finances except for one joint account for household expenses. We also decided on a percentage of income to save for future baby, retirement etc.  I come from a wealthy family, so I do have a bit of money that I did not get from my work. Prior to our marriage we had the same system of mostly separate finances, one joint account. Neither of us kicked up a fuss when we bought expensive things as long as we didn't pay for it using our joint account or dip into the agreed savings. \n\nWhile this may not be perfect, it worked well for us. I bought the bag and brought it home. My husband saw it and freaked out. He said I shouldn't have bought such an expensive bag without asking him first. I tell him that it was my money and I didn't break any of the aforementioned rules. He replied that it's different since we are married now and that everything I own is his now as well, and that I can't spend on useless things anymore. \n\nI'm just, genuinely confused. I didn't dip into my savings, nor did I use our joint account. This was a system we had for 5 years before we got married and he didn't have an issue with it. ######","completion":" NTA.  If your husband wanted to handle money differently after you got married, he should have discussed it with you.\n\nYou two should have that discussion now.  For what it's worth, even though we have separate finances and our own \"fun\" money, my wife and I still have a price limit where we should talk to the other person before we spend that much. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister's friend was over my house we will call her Allison (fake name) she is 31. Now I was using Tik Tok and I know people will ask I am 28. I was using Tik Tok and I forget exactly what sparked the conversation but we were discussing a tik tok celebrity and she is 20-21. \n\nI mentioned that she is super attractive. She then says that is super creepy, that it is worrying that I am still into college-aged women. I was like she is over 18 nothing weird about it and that she is just jealous. She said that I only find her attractive because I am intimidated by women my age and older.\n\nI was like if anything you are the one that was intimidated by younger women. She was like nothing to be scared of, real men go for women their age. I was like yup, okay, that's why you get lip fillers and botox to try to look younger. \n\nMy dad just starts laughing his ass off. And my mom and sister both get super angry at me. I don't see myself as the asshole at all. Like how you gonna be mad at me for finding college women attractive, but then use makeup and surgery to look just like them. ######","completion":" NTA.  If you're gonna dish, you gotta be able to take it too. Old professor of mine always talked about having  thick skin, meaning being able to take whatever said to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, so I'm pretty torn here.\n\nI've been dating a girl for a long time and it's been mostly great. I proposed a few months ago and we've been planning some wedding stuff recently.\n\nWell, she has also recently dropped it on me that it is \"family tradition\" to put a ball and chain on the groom at the reception as \"joke\" and they won't take it off until whenever the fuck they decide to.\n\nI am certainly not doing that, but she seems pretty firm on it. I feel like if you want to embarrass me like that, you can host your own reception without my family and friends there, and embarrass me all you want in front of your family and friends.\n\nReally might call this off if they're expecting me to go ball and chain, and I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable but she's pretty fucking mad at me right now for my refusal\n\n________________\n\nEdit - Super overwhelmed with the responses, I didn't expect this many people to show up and agree with me. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and advice, but there is no way I'll be able to reply to everyone so here's some more info based on what I've read (most of the comments thus far). \n\n1. No, I am not just looking for a reason to call off the wedding\n\n2. Yes, you guys bring up very good points that if something like this would cause me to throw it away then it may be some form of writing on the walls (just to confirm, I do not want to throw it away).\n\n3. I will not be caving in to this in any way shape or form unless as I mentioned earlier, she wants to finance her own private reception where her family and friends can embarrass me all they want while mine aren't present. \n\n4. The point above, imo, doesn't mean the wedding will be called off. It's up to how firm she is on the \"joke\" and if they'll just let it go. ######","completion":" NTA.  If you go through with this, I'd insist on also carrying a pair of bolt cutters with a \"Pre-nup\" label written in huge letters. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad is a lower IQ boomer who is a die hard trump supporter and he never shuts the fuck up about how every race other than Italian-American is garbage. All my life, that’s all I’ve heard. I don’t believe that shit at all, that racial BS is garbage and I always call him out on it. After my mom passed, i decided to spend more time with him, I don’t want him to be alone and miserable in his last days. Today I went shopping at the market with him, I ask the deli man (of Haitian descent) for a 20 piece wing, half spicy (my dad hates any type of seasoning) and one extra spicy (for me). He kept telling me to grab the wings on the side in the case, which are all spicy. I tried explaining to the deli dude I don’t want ALL spicy wings, but he kept telling me he won’t serve me, and that I have to grab the all spicy wings that are in the case. I told the dude “forget it bro, I’ll just go to Popeyes”; my dad yells from the back “you dumb Haitian!”. I told my dad “yo, you can’t say that in public man”. He yells out “WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?! ARREST ME?”. I don’t wanna be seen next to someone saying that shit. It’s humiliating, especially when everyone is staring like I’m a giant tub of white trash mayonnaise, just because I’m with him. I left him right there, got a ride to my place, and haven’t spoken to him since. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  If you abandoned him there, it would be a concern.  However, it sounds like you found your own way.  Conversation about your boundaries is ideal, but not enabling him or trying to be a part of it is a way of standing your ground.  Maybe he will adjust his behavior when spending time with you, so keep communicating and give him a chance.  However, that’s on him to adjust. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  If there was a dress code or requirements  (for example horseback riding might require long pants, a trampoline facility might require no jewelry, a restaurant might have a dress code) he should have informed you when extending the invitation to you. A tank top and shorts are perfectly normal attire. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account.\n\nSo, this happened a couple of days ago. I asked a couple of friends about this, and one of them suggested I should write and ask about it here. I’m not a native speaker, so excuse my mistakes.\n\nI (26F) have a 2 year old son. I was having a conversation with a friend and mentioned that my son doesn’t really like to shower, but loves baths, so when I do prepare a bath for him we usually bathe together. I bring all kinds of toys and cups, because he loves to spill water on himself and even more when he splashes it at my face. If you ask me it’s a win-win situation. I can wash my hair and his at the same time, and he loves the play time with me in there.\n\nThe response I got was not what I expected. She looked actually disgusted. She said what I was doing is very inapropriate especially because he is a boy and that I’m emotionally and possibly sexually abusing my son. I disagreed and we had a huge fight. When I told my other friend what happened she said she sees her point and maybe I shouldn’t do this anymore.\n\nI am so confused and I’m wondering if AITA for bathing with my son? Am I abusing him? ######","completion":" NTA.  I’m sorry your friend sexualized your routine!  She might have her own issues so not that big of a deal if you are confident in yourself.  You will know when bathing together is not ideal, trust your intuition and try not to absorb that nonsense. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed. \n\nHis funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames\/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see. \n\nI feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ######","completion":" NTA.  I’m so sorry for your loss. Mourn the loss of your boyfriend the way you best feel will honor him and who he truly was. ######"}
{"prompt":"The other day we had to suddenly take my seven year old niece for the night because my nephew, who is four, managed to get a pretty nasty gash to his head when he fell off his bike. My sisters (26) husband was out of state dealing with something to do with his family so we, my parents and younger sister (18F) and I (21), ended up taking my niece in for the night. She was pretty cranky all day because she wanted to be home with her new puppy, I told her that if she behaved then she could play on my Nintendo Switch for half an hour the next morning before my sister picked her up*. \n\nWell, she didn’t behave. She was honestly a little demon all night, but the next day she still demanded to play the Switch. I told her no because she didn’t behave. Well, she went to my mom and pulled the whole innocent granddaughter trick. My mother, who is an extremely kind person and spoils her grandchildren rotten because they’re the only grandkids she has right now (my younger sister and I aren’t having kids for years, college and career first). So she told me to let her play the Switch. \n\nI told her no, I bought it with my own money (I’m in college and work my ass off, saved little by little to afford a Switch) and she didn’t follow along with the deal. My dad also thinks I should have let my niece play, as does my older sister. The only member of my family on my side is my little sister. I know my niece is seven but she needs to understand that not everything needs to be given to her when she wants them. My parents and older sister keep making me feel guilty though, so that’s why I’m turning to the internet. \n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? \n\n*My niece is getting limited screen time right now because when her school first went online she was ignoring her homework and my sister got a pretty nasty email. My parents won’t enforce it at our house but I am with the technology that I personally own. ######","completion":" NTA.  I'm betting your mom wouldn't have put up with you going to Daddy after she said no when you were little.  She shouldn't be undermining you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [27F] have been with my partner [27M] for four years, my south Asian parents who are first gen immigrants do not “allow me to date” and expect that I have an arranged marriage to a man of their choosing. I’ve explained to them multiple times that I’m not their 15 year old daughter they can “forbid” from dating. \n\nI’m tired of the constantly being yelled at about “ruining their lives” or apparently “ruining my life” with my refusal to talk to men they’re interested in setting me up with. I’ve tried asking them about what their concerns are and that I’d be happy to address them but there is no way for me to reason with people who’s only response is “we cannot accept this.”\n\nMy parents on aren’t willing to entertain that this is a choice I’d like to make for myself. I care deeply about my partner, am immensely happy and see myself spending the rest of my life with him. WIBTA if I cut off contact with my parents over this? \n\ntl;dr my parents disapprove of my partner due to his race and want me to have an arranged marriage, I’m not interested. WIBTA if I stop speaking to them? ######","completion":" NTA.  I'm afraid that to have any peace or any life of your own, you will have to cut ties to them.  Are you still living with them?  Move out and have your own life.  This will seem harsh to some but they are being impossible. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following \n\n-\tnigger\n-\tporch monkey\n-\thalf breed\n-\tmutt\n-\tjigaboo\n\nAnd not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ######","completion":" NTA.  I'm a white lady from the south and somehow manage not to throw around racial slurs, though it is a daily struggle. \/s  \n\nFirst off, the south is not lacking in black people, so it's not like they're mysterious foreigners to us, and second, even if she was in some area that was mainly white, common sense and courtesy exist.  This is not the kind of racism born of ignorance, like \"Oh, are you really good at basketball?\"  This is malicious.  No one calls someone a half breed and means well at any level.\n\nWorse than Kara, who is a garden-variety racist, is your father.  I am so sorry he failed you in this fundamental way.  I would sit down with a trusted friend or therapist and discuss how you feel about the way he's enabling her.  You can brainstorm a script to explain to him why this is so unacceptable and set some boundaries.  That could be anything from \"I don't want to be around Kara and if you try to tell me to give her a chance, I will end the conversation,\" to \"If you can't stand up for me, we can't have a relationship.\"  It's up to you.\n\nTLDR: Your Dad and Kara suck, you are not unreasonable, and you get to handle this situation however you want without having to feel guilty because \"faammmmillly.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I don’t have any real strong beliefs in religion, I’m not denying it or saying it’s fact, and I’m trying to raise her to have an open mind when it comes to what she believes. She is obviously too young to have her own opinion about these things and am very upset that she is being presented this information from someone who isn’t my girlfriend or myself. \n\nI understand that I live in a very religious state and I’m not against people who believe, but I personally believe that daycare isn’t a place for that. ######","completion":" NTA.  I would make a distinction though between a daycare that is openly associated with a church, such as \"St. Thomas Day Care Center,\" and one that claims no such association.  If you attend a religious-affiliated school or day care, religion is part of the curriculum.  If not, discuss it with management that you are unhappy with that being provided whether a family wants it or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA.  I would have blamed you both, except that you've already tried to resolve this conventionally:\n\n> I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. \n\nIf she's not the one drinking your milk, then there should be no problems.  If she is, then she'll regret it soon enough. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah I now it sounds weird. My daughter is 2 and currently her favorite thing to do is to strip all her clothes off, take off her diaper, and pee everywhere while laughing maniacally. Partly because she hates the wet diaper, and while we are working on potty training, she is not quite physically ready, despite being mentally ready. Anyways, I’ve started referring to her as “the goblin” whenever she does this, and my husband thinks it’s hilarious and now whenever she’s covered in pudding\/peanut butter\/ takes off her diaper and pees while laughing maniacally, he also refers to her as “the goblin.” Usually it’s “the goblin needs a bath.” That kind of thing. Anyways, some of friends think it’s mean to call our daughter a goblin. Are we the assholes here? ######","completion":" NTA.  I work at a doctor's office and I fully heard a mom call her 4-year-old a little shit.  Could be worse, and could probably turn into a fun nickname when she's older! ######"}
{"prompt":"Background:So I live in a trailer because of family complications and we have 2 two dogs (Chihuahuas)\n\nMy dad was working on the plumbing in the back of the trailer because it's an old model and the plumbing was old so we were replacing it.\n\nWe have a little fence in our front yard so the dogs can eat and drink out of a fountain that my dad made that has filtered water going through it and we clean it everyday \n\nWe had the dogs out at the time so they could do there thing and my dad went around the front and saw the youngest neighbor that is about 6 years old pouring motor oil into the water and splashing onto them and they were drinking it. My dad grabbed the oil out of his hands and immediately thew it away and we tried to call the vet to see what we could do but it's closed. So we researched and found that if you give them hydrogen peroxide in there mouth they  would throw it up so we did that and they only thew up the hydrogen peroxide and nothing else.\n\nWe had to clean out the whole filtration system since the oil had clumps in it. We were worried that our cats might drink it since they like to drink it from the fountain so we locked them in since we already had a litter box and everything.\n\nWe went to talk to the mother about this and she said she told them to do it since we had called the cops on them for a previous incident.\n\nWe threatened to called the cops on them since we were really pissed but I have to ask WIBTA if I called the cops on the mom? ######","completion":" NTA.  I was thinking that, while horrible, this was just a dumb kid who didn't know better, but the fact that the mom said she told him to do it as revenge definitely warrants a call to the cops.\n\nEdited to add: if the cops don't take it seriously, call animal control. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, 2 weeks ago I started online school. I have 2 computers, a school provided one and my personal computer. I let him use my personal one, just for school. He asked for it a few minutes early, which is fine because I also started school a little earlier. \n\nApparently he was mad at me because I was cuddling one of my family's kittens while he wanted to play with it. So he decided a rational response was to try and 'make me lose karma on reddit'. He made up a easily faked revenge story and posted it on r\/prorevenge. He failed, though. It got me 50 karma. I only found out because someone commented that you can't buy poison oak. I said sorry, deleted the post, and told my brother he is no longer allowed to use my computer. He had to use my mom's work Ipad, which she despises me for, he gets the screen nasty. Since there is no keyboard, he had trouble doing any assignment, causing him to get in trouble multiple times for not doing the assignment. \n\nMy parents have forced me to read 1 hour a day because of this, but that had backfired. That's another story though. Anyways, AITA for this or did he get what he deserved? ######","completion":" NTA.  I used to get in trouble for reading too much.  Brother will learn to stick with his assignments next time, hopefully. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.\n\n Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.\n\nI’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \\*I\\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.\n\nAt the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######","completion":" NTA.  I strongly recommend that you make sure that money goes to an account where your mother cannot touch it.  If you are planning to go to school keep it in the account.  If you buy a car, put it in your name only. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background, I'm a very punctual person while my gf isn't, we have talked in the past about this and how it creates unnecessary stress in our otherwise great relationship.\n\nI'm specially aggravated because she does expect some measure of punctuality from me since I'm the \"responsible one\".\n\nMy new tactic is I match her lateness by making her wait as much as she does it to me.\n\nFor example, if we had dinner plans for 8pm and she shows up at 9pm, I'll make her wait until 10pm.\n\nI believe this is extremely petty but so far it's working, she told me she does get how frustrating is to be left waiting.\n\nI told my sister and her friend and they think I'm a controlling asshole for this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  I hate how some people think it's so acceptable to always be late.  I'd go about it differently, though.  If dinner plans are at 8 pm, leave without her, have something delivered and eat it, whatever it takes so you get fed.  When she shows up at nine, she can fend for herself.  If you have plans to go somewhere at a certain time and she doesn't show up, leave without her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I (f20) have wanted a small tattoo of a butterfly on the back of my neck for a few months now, since my childhood pet dog, Mariposa (“butterfly” in Spanish), passed away. I mentioned this to one of my friends (f20) and she was not happy about the idea. \n\nI’ve known about her lepidopterophobia (fear of butterflies and moths) for years now, as we’ve been friends since 5th grade. But I didn’t think this tattoo would be a problem for her since it’s not a real butterfly, just a small tattoo. \n\nI went ahead and got the tattoo anyway (using proper precautions regarding the virus!). It’s just a small butterfly on the back of my neck, just how I wanted. A simple way to remember my dog. \n\nWhen my friend found out I went ahead and did it, she flipped. She texted me, “I saw on insta that you got a butterfly tattoo... I’m hurt. I thought you’d understand how triggering this would be to me. I wish you had taken my feelings into account.”\n\nI tried to explain that I didn’t think it would bother her this much and apologized, but she said that the way the butterfly is drawn (sort of mid-flutter I guess? It looks like it’s flying, it’s not flat) was scary to her as it made the tattoo look more “real.”\n\nSo, am I the asshole for getting a tattoo that creeps out my friend? ######","completion":" NTA.  I get the phobia, I really do. I have worked for years on my arachnophobia and if someone had a realistic looking spider tattoo I would not be able to look at it because I avoid that type of thing because yes, as stupid as it seems, it will make me uncomfortable.  So *I take it on myself not to look at it.*  Her trying to tell you what to do with your own body is ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been together for 16 years and have always had multiple dogs. We currently have 4--2 Akitas, a Rottweiler and a Westie. About a year ago, her grandson was bitten by his dog (at his home) and ever since then my wife has become increasingly hostile to our dogs (No lasting damage to the boy). Now she has them barricaded in the back yard and a small section of the kitchen whenever she is home. She was the driving force in buying each of these dogs. She picked out every one of them. She named them. I love them all like crazy. I don't like seeing them treated differently. She says it is not because of her grandson being bitten by another dog--rather, they are just dogs and she is tired of fur\/sweeping\/cleaning. I told her the time to have figured that out is before you got 'em and now they are members of the family (And have been for 8 years, 7, 6 and 2...so not a new situation). She thinks I am picking the dogs over her. Hell, maybe I am. But, problems and all, they are total love. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  I could understand if your wife wanted to put the dogs in the yard when her grandson came over, but what she is doing is cruel and irrational.  When she got those animals, she made an obligation to give them a good home.  Now they are outside without any understanding of why they have been cast off.\n\nHowever, I will ask if you are putting all of their care on her.  Are you cleaning up dog hair?  If not, try doing that and taking other responsibilities from her for the care of the dogs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (m35) close best friends\/ soul mates with this guy (M39), and we live together. We've both been friends since i was 17 and he was 22. We meet in a book club when i was in high school. \n\nWe moved in because of not many houses being avalibale and i though it was awesome to move in with my best friend. We share a bed and sometimes fuck because we both have a high libdio and have a connection. And since hes at home now, we fuck like 5 days a week and its amazing lol.He takes care of me and works a office job and i'm currently unemployed so i cook for him and do laundry etc. He treats me like a prince and protects me. He's gay, and i don't give a shit but like being taken care of. I love that i can live with my best friend, and don't have to live alone. \n\nHe has health issues (asthma, and heart disease runs in his family) and is overweight and i didn't want anything to happen to him so about a month ago we got \"married\" (just went to the courthouse, no wedding.) so can get my health insurance if he gets sick or i die. \n\nI don't talk to my family, since they don't like me. I'm a athiest stoner, and the oldest son in family. My family are all italian catholics, and want me to marry a girl from another family i don't know. \n\none day he was going to pay the taxes before everything closes down, and i smoked a little to relax. My mother calls me, and starts talking about how i should i be thinking about babies and marriage since we're all die soon.\n\nShe doesn't know about me and his \"marriage\" or \"relationship\", and i don't want her to know. \n\nBut since i was high, i was very relaxed and stopped thinking it was my mom talking. I told her about that i got \"married\", and she became furious. She started talking about it's wrong or whatever. Now they won't let me talk to my lil brothers or cousins.\n\nAITA for \"marrying\" my best friend? ######","completion":" NTA.  However, I think it's time to admit that you are not heterosexual. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm F27 and my co-worker is M23, his GF makes him 3 meals a day and he brings in these amazing lunches to work all the time. He mentioned that she does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and goes to school and has a part time job. When he told me that I was like wow you don't do anything at home? He just said work is stressful enough and she likes taking care of him. Yeah ok, I'm sure she does, is what I tell him. One day he brought in some lunch and asked if I wanted it because his GF didn't make the lasagna the way he likes it. I declined but heard him berating his GF on the phone about 5 mins later in the lobby of our office building. When we got up to the office I told him how he treats his GF is abusive and not right and he told me its none of my business and to stop prying in and spying on her personal life or he'll go to HR.... I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I'm a bit of an ass for confronting him about it and maybe it was just a one time blow up and I shouldn't get involved in his life.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Hopefully, GF will eventually drop this AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds kinda confusing. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m french, English isn’t first language.\n\nSo right now I’m(15F) living with my brother(27) and his boyfriend(24). It’s temporary tho, I’ll be back with my parents in 2 weeks. I’ve been with them for a week, everything was going great. \n\nYesterday I got up early and I was bored,  I thought I’d make something. I found easy mug brownie recipe so I made it. I found some powered sugar and there was a tiny bit left, so I sprinkled it on top of the brownie. As I was doing that my brother’s boyfriend walked in the kitchen and saw me. He got angry and asked me what I was doing. He told me that the sugar was expired and made me throw the brownie out. He told me that they were just keeping it because of memories because they got it while traveling. My brother was kinda mad too and told me that I should’ve asked him first before cooking something. \n\nI haven’t apologized and I don’t think it’s my fault. They could’ve kept it anywhere other than kitchen if it’s just a decoration and not actually edible. ######","completion":" NTA.  Honey, they're mad cause you wasted their drug stash. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (22 F)  mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted). \n\nA couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room. \n\nIt’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Honest side question: Why is your \"amazing human being\" dad with such a woman? ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory on my boyfriend's brother is that I don't like him and he doesn't like me. My family is comfortable without being wealthy while my boyfriend's family is definitely wealthy, and the brother seems to think I'm a golddigger despite my boyfriend and I splitting everything 50\/50. He is the kind of person who will ask the groom on the day of his wedding if he needs a getaway driver and tell people to get prenups at their engagement party, and I'm saying this because I've seen him do both things more than once.\n\n\nI'm pregnant. It's definitely ahead of schedule but my fiancé and I are happy about it. I'm around 5 months pregnant, my fiance proposed about 2 weeks before we found out. We told his family earlier today over zoom. His mum, dad, and sister congratulated us and his brother did too, but then the brother made a joke about getting a prenup (which we are doing anyway). My fiance's sister told him to shut the fuck up and the dad said \"come on now\" in a reproachful tone, and then I said \"just checking are you aware there are personality traits other than dickhead and edgelord?\", after which my fiance's mother told me off for speaking to her son like that because he's just looking out for his brother. I asked if \"I'm just meant to let him say whatever he wants, then?\"\n\nCall ended quickly after that, and now I've had messages from my future parents in law and brother in law all expecting me to apologize in order to smooth things over. Fiance says not to apologise for shit and his sister says they're ridiculous but this might be the easiest way to move on, and pointed out that I did go for him there when they'd already spoken to him.\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA.  His Parents want you to apologise because they know that you are reasonable. It's easier to appeal to the normally reasonable party than the dude stuck in asshole mode. If you apologize it would make things easier for them, but the brother would still see you as an appealing target. That's not a place you want your future child to be in so stand firm now and make it easier for you to deal with him in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nLast week, a neighbor’s kid slashed several tires in the neighborhood. I guess I got extra lucky, because he destroyed all 4 of mine. \n\nHere’s where it’s tricky: just before this happened, I noticed that all 4 tires were nearing 5 years old, and thought they should be replaced. I made an appointment to get new tires and ordered them for installation later in the week.  I was planning on keeping one or two of my older tires as a “donut” for emergencies. \n\nThe next day, her kid decided to slash them to pieces. \n\nShe’s now taking full responsibility and asked for the bill so she can see about refunding me. Everyone, including the police, is telling me that she should pay for the new set of tires. I think she should pay for half at most, but even that doesn’t seem completely moral to me because I was already planning on getting them replaced.\n\nAm I the asshole if I let her pay for all 4? How about half? It did cause me to lose a day and a half of work and towing was a nightmare. ######","completion":" NTA.  Her kid slashed them.  There are consequences.  Honestly the damn kid should pay, not her.  I get you're trying to be nice but there's no lesson learned if you don't let there be one.  Slash tires. Pay for tires. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep this short. \n\nSo my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along. \n\nMy sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor\/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister. \n\nThe breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still). \n\nI immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives\/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage. \n\nShe told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again. \n\nBoth my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in. \n\nAITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ######","completion":" NTA.  He’s in an abusive relationship, and your sister needs professional help. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory(short version): My dad has been a not very nice person from the start, while he was married to my mum he would often take “surfing trips” in which he would sleep with other women. For a while he was engaged to another woman while still married to my mum. I tried to keep a relationship with him not knowing of what he had done. Recently he wanted me to block a number of one of his ex-wives, she is a nice lady and we don’t have a problem with each other. So I politely said no I won’t as I had no reason to. He then sent the following message “You know the hell I went thro, just a bit of respect for your dad wouldn’t go amiss. Till you show that respect then please don’t contact me. You need to step up if you want to stay in touch. If you want to keep in contact with your brother then I suggest you go thro your mum to contact him” I then got angry and sent back a message of one word “ok”. I have not talked to him since. All I would like to know is what I did ok? He has treated me as I would always be there no matter how bad he would treat me. If need be I can provide evidence of the messages. ######","completion":" NTA.  He sounds like a petulant child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of background: When we married we agreed everything would be joint and it’s worked perfectly for 6 years. Together a total of 11. All of our credit cards and bank accounts have each other’s names on them. We actually have a system so we know what each other spends (even if it’s a $2 hot dog). \n\nExample: We run our budget every two weeks and figure out what we have left over after bills\/savings. Say it’s $700 - we will text each other budget updates. $20 at Target, $3 at 7-11, $100 on groceries, etc. This way we know exactly what we have left over. \n\nThe reason I explained the above is to make the point that we are VERY transparent about money. \n\nA few months ago we got into a really bad fight which ended with him saying he was filing for divorce. We worked it out and he admitted he was just angry in the moment and lashed out. \n\nHere’s the thing, I recently found out that my inheritance is coming and will be in the 6 figure range. Since we’ve had that fight I’ve started to feel nervous about putting such a large sum in a joint account. That fight made me realize that if we ever got a divorce half of that would belong to him. In my state separate bank accounts are not subjected to be split equally in a divorce. Meaning if I never put his name on the account he would never have a claim to it. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  He lashes out by threatening divorce?  That's a really good reason to keep the money separate and in an account with only your name on it.  You can always change the account ownership at a later date or set him up as a beneficiary\/payable on death.  Right now, I'd err on the side of caution. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account; he uses reddit too.\n\nBackground:My husband and I are both 27 and have been married for almost 3 years, no kids.\n\nI have suffered with OCD for the majority of my life. I was officially diagnosed when I was 23 and finally got medication. The medication has greatly reduced my panic attacks, but it has also made me tired all the time.\n\nMy husband finds some of my OCD tics fascinating, which I don't blame him for, because I can see why he thinks that. I have talked to him about all my weirdest ones: the fact that I can't have my hands in the same position at the same time, the fact that I can't touch the mole on my neck or else I have compulsions to squeeze the skin, etc. (There are many more but those are most relevant.)\n\nSometimes, my husband induces my OCD to mess with me. Like if he's holding my hands and forces them into the same position to see how I'll react. I've talked to him about it and hes since stopped doing that.\n\nToday, he playfully touched the mole on the back of my neck. I was like \"we talked about this; why do you trigger my OCD on purpose?\"\n\nHe went on about how I need to overcome this anxiety and he was helping with my exposure to it. I told him he's not a licensed therapist and he's just stressing me out. I've gone to therapy. I see a psychiatrist frequently. I let the professionals handle that.\n\nI was crying about how I feel he's disrespectful of my OCD by trying to induce those feeling's on purpose. He said that he's bothered that I'm giving in to irrational fears. \n\nNow I'm crying and trying to remove myself from the situation but he's keeps telling me it's just a mole and I need to act like people treat it in the real world. I KNOW that logically; I try to explain to him that OCD is illogical which is why I treat it with therapy and medication, and why I feel disrespected when he messes with it on purpose for no real reason.\n\nWho's the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA.  He is touching you in a way that you have repeatedly asked him not to, and even if it had nothing to do with OCD, he should respect your personal space and boundaries. It is downright shameful that he is essentially shaming you for having a condition you are actively treating. Dismissing the tangible ways he could help is bad. Deliberately trying to make you spiral is awful. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.\nNow my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's \"off-putting\" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.\nSo everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.\nIt should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.\nSo, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ######","completion":" NTA.  He essentially lives there right?  Then they have no right to demand that he leaves his home.  They are being entitled.  I would put your foot down OP and make it very clear that if they continue to demand this then you will not allow them to continue visiting.  It's your apartment, not theirs. ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface:\nSo, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it.\n\n\nMy mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, \"I already have one that works.\" I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me. \n\nShe explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it.\n\nTL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Have a conversation with her and ask her why she hasn’t ordered it yet, explaining that since it is out of stock at the moment, you want to make sure to get one when it is back in stock.  \n\nIt’s possible that she’s waiting on the next billing cycle for her credit card for some reason, but you won’t know unless you ask.\n \nIt’s also okay to say “Getting this laptop preordered is important to me. You had said you wanted to get the points on your credit card for it and I was fine with that, but the delay is making it anxious.  If you don’t order it by the end of the day on Monday, I’m planning to order it myself to make sure to receive one when they are back in stock, but I wanted to let you know first so that there wasn’t any misunderstanding.” ######"}
{"prompt":"I used to be an EMT, now work as a referee + medical guy in a combat sports system. \n\nMy girlfriend started screaming for me. Turns out she popped herself in the face with a cabinet door and was bleeding pretty good. \n\nShe wasn't remotely bleeding out or anything. Although it's scary, no where near life threatening hemorrhage. Was obviously alert\/oriented, no signs of anything serious, so I take a second to put on gloves (not a big deal in my mind - 5 seconds max to pull a pair out of the box ontop of the fridge, contact with a patient or bodily fluid always warrants gloves). \n\nGot my gloves on, popped a peak. She ended up splitting her lip pretty good on her braces (yes we're 20 and she has braces). End up going to the ER, they put like 3 stitches in, really that was it. She later expressed offense about me putting on gloves before tending to her. \n\nI tried to explain why, the fact it's engrained by training, but she's still offended. I said sorry, that's just how I was trained, but she's mad. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA.  Gloves if contact is possible with bodily fluids; even if they’re from a loved one ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife and I have been married for 5 years. We have two children, a five year and 5 month old. She has acknowledged her alcohol problem in the past, but when she gets to a certain point, she throws caution to the wind and gets completely wasted. She gets mean and absolute hateful. \n\nTonight, I took time off work to drive her two hours to see her best friend that she hasn’t seen in a year. When we get there, it’s cinco de Mayo, so her friend wanted tacos and margaritas. The margaritas were STRONG. I, knowing I had to drive in three hours, didn’t drink. Our kids were with us. My wife, on the other hand, got shitfaced. Come time to leave, she had another canned margarita in hand about to open it in the car. I took the can and told her it’s illegal to drink in the car. She got pissed. She finally calmed down, but she was still super drunk. She took her frustrations out on our five year old and made him cry his eyes out in the back seat. We got back home and she was about to start up again and get even more drunk. \n\nI had enough of it. I took the can she was about to open and said no. Not tonight. You’ve had enough. \n\nShe became belligerent saying she married a dictator. I feel I have a right to keep the peace in the house especially since we’re both responsible for two children. She is still going off on me (going on two hours) and my five year old is in his room screaming. She’s screaming she wants a divorce. My response is that if her abuse of alcohol is that important to her, then fine. She can have her divorce. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  Give her an ultimatum: get sober or get divorced. \n\nYour #1 priority should be your children, even if that means keeping them from their alcoholic mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22, F) currently work as an EMT, and as part of my certification, I learned to deliver babies. On occasion, we will get calls to pick up someone whos in labor. I've gotten these calls about 3x and each time we have just transported the patient to the hospital and they have given birth there.\n\nMy sister (26, F) who is 8.5 months pregnant recently asked if I could deliver her baby at her home since I was certified. She wants to do it at home since the hospital in our area (Chicago) won't let family visit, and she wants us to be there since this is her first child. Also, her gynecologist is sick and wouldn't be there to deliver her child, so she's also nervous about having a doctor, she doesn't know.\n\nI told her I would get back to her, but my sister and my mom keep texting me about it. Idk what to do, I'm really nervous about doing it since I have never delivered a baby before. She said the baby was perfectly healthy which is good and it obviously won't be premature but I'm still on the fence. ######","completion":" NTA.  Former EMT here.  Do Not deliver that baby at home, by yourself.  \n\nFor one, how are you going to obtain the medical supplies necessary for this delivery? \n\nSecondly, we are trained for skills for transport into transfer of care to people who have greater abilities to help (nurses, doctors, hospitals).  While you have the ability to help with the delivery, people with more training and experience are obviously the better choice.\n\nThird, gods help you if something goes wrong.  I couldn't imagine what would happen to the family if something went wrong with mother or child.\n\nMy family used to joke that I would deliver my niece.  Like, I could if it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, but you should not be THE FIRST CHOICE. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 19 year old daughter rescued a stray cat outside that has been following her around the house from the outside. The little bastard had been jumping on the roof and running around on the extension to try and meow for attention from her because she kept feeding it bacon. \n\nThis was a coupe months ago. She took the cat to the vet and it was given anti flea anti fungal and anti worm and all the rest of it treatments including being neutered which the darling girl of mine stuck the cost of onto daddy’s debit card because of course she did.\n\nImagine my surprise when she returned from the vet and announced she was keeping the bloody thing.\n\nNow I hate little animals, I’m deeply allergic to cats and in general I’m just not a cat bloke.\n\nIt roams around the house like it owns the gaff and it bloody pisses against everything it takes a liking to but my wife and girl are absolutely enthralled with it and it’s very very content to steal the sofas to scratch and sleep on.\n\nIt keeps trying to rub up against me and I refuse to let it touch me. I’ve had to ask the pharmacist to give me fexofenadine which is the only thing stopping me from scratching my eyeballs out.\n\nMy wife actually got into a mardy with me and snapped at me cuz I refused to stroke the cat and she called me a miserable bastard. My daughter joined in and said the cat only wants to be friends but frankly I don’t care and I don’t want to be friends. \n\nAnyway my darling wife told my darling mother and now she keeps bringing it up everytime she calls me calling me a misery guts. \n\nAm I the arsehole or are they for trying to force me to stroke the cat? ######","completion":" NTA.  First, hats off for having the thickest English accent in written form. Truly spectacular, sir.  No bullshit, you could probably get a writing job in Hollywood, you awesome fucking misery guts.\n\nAnyway, you didn't want the cat. You're not a cat person. You're crazy allergic to the cat. That's fine.  You tolerate the cat living with you despite your allergies because it makes your wife and daughter happy. That's a big deal. They should be satisfied with that.\n\nYes, the cat means well, but you've already been asked enough. Plus, better it not understand you as a \"friend\" since you don't want it rubbing up on you.  Better stay as (barely) tolerated acquaintances. ######"}
{"prompt":"21F here. I lost my mother two months before my 17th birthday. I was extremely close to her and her sudden death was a huge blow to both me and my dad.\n\nWhen I had to move to another city to attend college, my dad had to move in with my grandmother, uncle (as in dad's brother), and his wife. They live close to our old home, so it wasn't a hassle for dad, and since he paid them more than enough money for having him, it wasn't an issue for my uncle either.\n\nWhen I came back right before the lockdown started, I was shocked at my dad's condition. He looked terrible and it was obvious that he hadn't been eating well. I had always known that when confronted by grief he tends to ignore everything else and put his heart and soul into his work. I also knew that his 'family' had only agreed to have him in because he earns well and hadn't taken notice of his condition, but he was living in their house and I couldn't say anything about it. \n\nBut the real shocker came when I saw my aunt wearing an opal pendant that had been my dad's gift to my mom on their anniversary. I confronted her and asked her how she got her hands on it. She told me that she had taken out house keys from dad to 'clean' our house, found the pendant, and taken it since it was gathering dust. Grandmother supported her, saying (I quote), \"She's dead anyway, why leave her things to gather dust?\" \n\nI asked my dad if he knew anything, and he said that he didn't know the pendant had been brought here. I proceeded to lose my shit and chewed out aunt and grandmother over touching my mom's things. Aunt and grandmother said that I was overreacting, it's just jewellery (not to me. It's my mother's memories.) and that I need to calm the f down.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Find a way to snag it back ASAP.  Get a hold of your moms engagement ring and band too.  Jesus.  Hard to imagine anyone could really be so entitled. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got an IUD in August and told my mom I was getting it, she paid because i’m her daughter and she wanted to. \nFast forward to October and my mom calls me at college and says she has a funny story. Mind you, we both tend to joke about my dad because he’s a character and they’re divorced. She says that my dad found out about the IUD because he saw paperwork that i had in my car that he was cleaning out while i was away. HE WAS FURIOUS. He called me mom and yelled at her over the phone about how i have an IUD and my mom was like “oh yeah i knew about that” and then my dad proceeded to yell at her for not telling him and she was like “she’s 18 and it’s not my place to tell you about her reproductive choices.” My dad is acting as if I needed his permission for this. I didn’t even need to tell my mom in the first place, but i chose to because we’re close like that. Anyways, this was a while ago but it still sits weird with me. He has no say in the matter. I don’t like that my dad felt obligated to know about this personal aspect of my life especially because he’s otherwise a very progressive, liberal man so it doesn’t really make sense as to why he’s trying to police my goddamn uterus. Idk thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA.  Don’t doubt yourself.  Your thought process is very sound in this. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey!\nSo recently my biological dad reached out to me and explained that he is probbably going to die because of kidney falioure and he is at the bottom of the list.\nIm 21 female.\nI am really scared of doctors, let alone blood donation. So you can't even imagine how scared I really am to even think about this. Surgery is 10 times worse than anything else. \n\nRecently my biological dad told me that I am probbably an approppriate donator. To me, he is just a regular stranger. I don't think I would be able to donate kidney even to my close family.\nResults came back positive. I tought I won't be approppriate donator and went to test myself because my and his family were pressuring me to do so. I was wery scared. After results came back positive they told me how happy they were,... and I had a panic attack.\n\nIt was wery hard for me and I finally got the currage to tell them. They started trying to guilttrip me, saying that I will be sorry, that I will be responsible for murderer, that they will file a lawsuit,...\nI really don't know what to do. So please tell me, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Do not go ahead with this.  You aren't a murderer if you don't donate your kidney.  You can contact the doctor and tell them that you don't want to do it.  They'll tell your dad that you aren't a good candidate.  They will take the blame.  Please have them take the blame!!  One of his other relatives can donate their kidney.  If they're not a match, they can be tested to match someone else and the kidney donations will be exchanged. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my grandad has been in hospital for a reason I’m not sure I can mention, but you can probably guess. Prior to that he had other health complications so I thought it’d be nice to get all of my cousins to make a video for him wishing him to get well soon and that we all love him. I have a pretty big family so it was a bit of a nightmare. \n\nNow here’s the issue, we weren’t sure when my grandad would be released from hospital, so I gave everyone a deadline to send me a video to include. They had two days to make me a 10 second video. Easy, right? Wrong..\n\nEveryone apart from one cousin managed to send me a video, and to be fair I completed the video and sent it to my grandad. Since then all hell has broken loose. My aunt thinks I’m the devil, and that I purposefully didn’t include my cousin to be mean (I didn’t.. I sent multiple reminders and she promised she’d get it to me and then didn’t). Now she’s stirring the pot with my other aunts, and one of them thinks I purposefully didn’t include her grandson because he has a speech problem I wasn’t even aware about because they live on the other side of the world and I’ve never met him (he’s like 3). I specifically asked my cousin\/his dad to include him but for some reason he didn’t and only sent one of himself which was fine I thought. \n\nSo now my aunt is pissed at me for making my 14yo cousin cry because she wasn’t able to send me a video in time, and my other aunt who I actually get on with thinks I didn’t include her grandson because of a speech impediment I didn’t even know about. \n\nThis was supposed to be a nice thing for my grandad but now everyone hates me.\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Did you keep copies of your texts\/emails\/reminders?  Circulate those ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom (55F) raised me by herself. \n\nI (25M) was always told that my dad (57M) never loved me and ran out on me, that he left us. Well it turns out that I have been lied to for a long time.\n\nFor the first time in over 20 years, my bio dad found me last year and contacted me. I was filled with rage but also curiosity so I met up with him and he explained his side of the story. He said that he wanted custody of me and that my mom had lied about why he left, that it was her who cheated on him and left him for a guy (this guy was in my life for the first few years but I only heard stories of him. Mom told me he was a good guy and they met through mutual friends).\n\nI didn't know what to make of it until I confronted my mom in rage and she admitted that it was true, my dad did try and get custody and that it was her who cheated on him. \n\nAnyway I was shown proof that this man is 100% my bio dad and we got closer... as I got closer to him over the year, it became apparent that my mom had outright lied about everything and filled my head with nonsense about him. \n\nAs I attended therapy this year I have finally been able to somewhat process this and have decided that I had enough of my mom and her pack of lies. When I met with her I said to her that I can't forgive her and that I want nothing to do with her. I said its over and she began crying and breaking down but I said it is what it is and got out. \n\nThen my aunt showed up at my door and called me asshile and how could I do this to my mother. But how could she do this to me? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  Continue processing and healing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my grandmother. Rent is $900 and we each pay half. Recently this person decided to bring in their grown 50 year old drug addict son because “he has nowhere to go”. He does have somewhere to go. He has a house he was living in but his wife recently died and she took it upon herself to allow him to live with us. I had absolutely no say in the matter despite being extremely uncomfortable about the entire situation. This man has multiple drug charges and has threatened to kill people. He has never worked a day in his life. \n\nAt first she said it would only be a couple of days. It’s been nearly a month and he’s still here. Rent free. Hasn’t lifted a finger and he’s eating our groceries. He’s also gotten high in our home on heroin twice. I used to help out substantially with the groceries also but have since stopped and only buy the groceries for myself. \n\nThis month I only have her $300 in rent money. She asked for the rest because she’s low on money and can’t pay her car insurance. She’s low on money because she’s been treating her addict son like a king, buying all this food, cooking three times a day and withdrawing cash for him from her checking account. \n\nI said that since we have a third person living in the house who I had no control or say over, it is unfair for me to continue paying half the rent and that he can get a job and pay the remainder. ######","completion":" NTA.  Check your lease.  Most of them require the approval of the landlord to have a new person move in.  Also, rent is usually split between all adults living in an apartment after a discussion is had.  Usually this takes place before moving in or right after.  Your grandmother is altering the original agreement between the two of you therefore a new split in rent needs to be discussed.\n\nIf you don’t want her son to be there, see if it violates the lease.  If it does tell her that her son needs to go per the lease.  If it doesn’t (as in you are allowed to add people) tell her you object to him as another roommate and will contact the authorities for illegal activity.\n\nYou should not feel unsafe in your own home.  Tell her you will move out if he stays.  Considering you are paying into the rent, this might help get this freeloader out of there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me. \n\nWhen his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out. \n\nWhy? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times. \n\n\"It's inconvenient\". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!\n\nI refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive! \n\nI'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!\n\nSo AITA for \"not caring about them and their feelings and needs\" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ######","completion":" NTA.  But, sounds like you need to have some serious talks with your fiance. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I were planning to have a baby in the next two years. My wife's friend recently adopted a baby. All of a sudden now my wife wants to adopt a baby. I really don't want to adopt. I'm not even fully sold on a baby. \n\nMy wife is really angry and keeps saying I have a heart of stone and other similar thing because I don't save a child's Life.\n\nSo AITA for not wanting to adopt? ######","completion":" NTA.  But you need change the perspective of “saving a child’s life”.  Adoption isn’t what it was in the 1900’s where people abandoned babies or sent them to orphanages because they couldn’t afford them.\n\nYou don’t sound like you’re fully on board, so don’t do it.  That will only cause resentment in your part to an innocent child.\n\nYour wife, who also seems to think she’s saving a child—-needs to get her head out of her ass.  That’s not what adoption looks like anymore.  Send her over to the r\/adoption to get a true perspective. ######"}
{"prompt":"First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior. \n\nRecently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet. \n\nAlso about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.\nSo am I the asshole for telling her that\/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ######","completion":" NTA.  But tell her you have thought it over, and you are SO PLEASED that the thinks SO highly of you, that she would honor YOU by having her wedding on your birthday! I mean, why else would she do that? Drag it out...how much sheust respect you to do this...to have her anniversary forever tied to you, honoring YOU...I suspect that if she thinks you like the idea...she will change the date. ######"}
{"prompt":"LTL\/FTP, throwaway acc cos family members know my main and I don't need the stress.\n\nMy husband and I are choosing baby names. We both have Scottish and Irish heritage -- several family members either having an anglicized version of a Scottish\/Irish first name or surname. \n\nWe are strongly considering giving our child a Gaelic name. Our top three contenders if it's a girl are Saoirse, Ealasaid, and Marsaili. Two of the boys names we like are less difficult for an English speaker to pronounce -- Eamon and Seòras -- but the other one, Eoghan, might confuse some people. \n\nI DO strongly believe we should give them an English-friendly middle name, think Ealasaid Rose (we haven't gotten that far yet lol), so that they have another name to fall back on if they need it. Husband is on board with this.\n\nMy MIL and my sister, however, think that this would be horribly cruel even with the middle name thing and insist we HAVE TO give them a \"normal\" first name -- Elizabeth instead of Ealasaid, for example. Neither me nor my husband like the way Elizabeth sounds (nor any of its diminutives), and the same goes for Sarah instead of Saoirse and Marjory instead of Marsaili (Marge just makes me think of the Simpsons). The same goes for the boy's names.\n\nMIL has gone so far as to say she will call them by the English equivalent and will make Husband's younger siblings do the same. I told her that's a one-way ticket to No Visits Town, which she handled as well as you'd imagine.\n\nSo, WWBTA for giving our baby a Gaelic name? ######","completion":" NTA.  But kid will hear their name mispronounced every day.  They will have to spell and respell their name every day.  That also doesn't take into consideration when they are older and looking for a job.  There a lot of factors to look at when choosing a name.\n\nAs a suggestion, next time you order a pizza or take away, give the order taker your Gaelic name and see what happens. ######"}
{"prompt":"LTL\/FTP, throwaway acc cos family members know my main and I don't need the stress.\n\nMy husband and I are choosing baby names. We both have Scottish and Irish heritage -- several family members either having an anglicized version of a Scottish\/Irish first name or surname. \n\nWe are strongly considering giving our child a Gaelic name. Our top three contenders if it's a girl are Saoirse, Ealasaid, and Marsaili. Two of the boys names we like are less difficult for an English speaker to pronounce -- Eamon and Seòras -- but the other one, Eoghan, might confuse some people. \n\nI DO strongly believe we should give them an English-friendly middle name, think Ealasaid Rose (we haven't gotten that far yet lol), so that they have another name to fall back on if they need it. Husband is on board with this.\n\nMy MIL and my sister, however, think that this would be horribly cruel even with the middle name thing and insist we HAVE TO give them a \"normal\" first name -- Elizabeth instead of Ealasaid, for example. Neither me nor my husband like the way Elizabeth sounds (nor any of its diminutives), and the same goes for Sarah instead of Saoirse and Marjory instead of Marsaili (Marge just makes me think of the Simpsons). The same goes for the boy's names.\n\nMIL has gone so far as to say she will call them by the English equivalent and will make Husband's younger siblings do the same. I told her that's a one-way ticket to No Visits Town, which she handled as well as you'd imagine.\n\nSo, WWBTA for giving our baby a Gaelic name? ######","completion":" NTA.  But just be prepared for you and your kid to always have to pronounce it for everyone until they die. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok let me elaborate. We had a baby recently and my boyfriend has an older son who has high functioning autism. Things in the household have been tense due to space being cramped and of course adjusting to a new baby. \n\nOne night, my boyfriend's son kept turning on the kitchen light while I was trying to keep the baby down because it was the middle of the night and I was sleeping in the living room. I thought he was done in the kitchen so I turned off the light. He wasn't done and got an attitude with me. I told him I was sorry, I thought he was done. He then made the comment \"you and dad don't deserve that baby.\" \n\nI don't believe in violence and I certainly don't condone child abuse but I had to resist the urge to smack that boy in the mouth. I told my boyfriend to talk to his son and he yelled at me not to tell him how to raise his child. I told him I wasn't trying to do that but that I shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of disrespect. He later told me to just ignore his son and while I see his point I still think he needs to tell his son not to talk to me that way.\n\nI have the right to be a mother to my child in a non hostile environment. On top of this, his family save for his mom has done nothing but judge and criticize me while I'm learning to be a mom. I have PPD but I'm sure it was made worse by all this. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  But it sure doesn’t seem like you’ve picked the right man to have a child with. ######"}
{"prompt":"Freshman year of college I lived in a triple room with 2 other girls. Roommate 1 was nice and quiet not part of story. Roommate 2 was liked to party and go out. Typical college freshman behavior. Well Around the start of October and it’s 2 am. I hear her and  her friend sneaking in didn’t think much of it not my business. Well her friend another freshman (male) starts screaming he wants his dad and starts basically sobbing and breaking down. I turn on lap to see what’s up as I’m awake by this point. Well they both dropped acid and he’s having a bad trip. He lays down in my bed shaking and I say I’m calling Police. My roommate yells at me saying she’ll get in trouble for having lsd on campus and if I was her friend I wouldn’t call. Well at this point I’m crying thinking a dudes about to die on my bed so I call cops. Kids fine and taken in hospital my roommate is given a write up by ra for drug use but that’s it. She moved out the next month and wouldn’t talk to me because I called police to help her friend. Atia for doing what I thought was right ######","completion":" NTA.  Better to have a guy get in trouble than having him be potentially dead in your house.  Your roommate only cared about herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Everything I ever heard out of this woman was about the \"Boren Clan\" and how she's a \"Proud Boren.\" Forget that she got married and took her husband's name, and her kids have the husband's name. It's all about the Boren clan.\n\nSo, when I had my kid, all I heard from her was this and that trait are from the \"Boren Clan.\" It wasn't \"Oh, look, THIS, just like dad\" or \"THIS, just like mom.\" It was \"THIS, just like a Boren. The baby is a true BOREN.\" Anything that was not \"Boren\" she was confused on, because \"That's not on my side.\" She would literally say \"That's strange. I've never seen a Boren with freckles. Where could they have gotten that from?\" My response of \"Some in my side of the family have freckles,\" was met with \"Really? That is weird. Boren's don't have freckles.\" I don't know if she's playing stupid or is genuinely confused on how genes work.\n\nThis has been going on for years and I kind of lost it this weekend. I essentially told her last time I checked, a child has two sets of genes: one from the mother and one from the father. But if she wanted to throw the grandparents, then there would be 4 sets of genes fighting for dominance. But at the end of the day the genes that matter are SO and MINE, and she needs to stop making it sound like my genes don't exist.\n\nMy SO found out and said I was mean in my response. But was I? Was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.  Because, you know....science. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm typing this on the hospital and I haven't actually asked him to split the bill yet. We were at a beach earlier and he tackled my when I wasn't looking (basically a boys will be boys incident except it was totally random. I didn't instigate him. I was sober. He was drunk. He tackled me from behind so I didn't have a chance to react. Compound fracture. Surgery tomorrow.\n\nThe pain is excruciating and he texted me saying that he was sorry and if there was anything he could do then ask. I have insurance through work but there's a copay that will likely cost $3,700. AITA if I ask him to split the bill? ######","completion":" NTA.  At all!  I would go so far as to say that your friend is the asshole if he doesn't offer to pay at least half of your bill, since he was so reckless as to injure you unthinkingly.  If he is truly a good person, he won't even kick up a fuss about your request.  In a perfect world, he would pay your entire co-pay, so asking him to foot just half of the bill should not be a problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now.  This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet. \n\nWe only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic. \n\nHe does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.\n\nA few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.\n\nToday he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.\n\nNow i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop\/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.\n\nWIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?\n\nEdit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.\n\nAlso we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ######","completion":" NTA.  And you be up front with him.  You tell him in no uncertain words that every time he uses your bathroom, he leaves it in a very unsanitary condition.  Furthermore you are not obligated to let a stranger use your bathroom but you do so anyway.  Tell him this in private but do not mince words.  You are sicking of cleaning his artwork. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, so today, I(16M) and my family was talking about something that can't be mentioned in this subreddit. I said that I wanted to say what I thought about that subject, and my sister started giggling about how I was going to say something stupid probably taken from a youtube video. My dad laughed with her and insinuated that I was going to say something dumb, and my mom said how she was going to see if I was her son, insinuating that she is smart. I really got offended since my whole family was saying that I was dumb, and I really don't think so. I have really bad grades since I started studying in Switzerland (in German), and that's my 4th language, so I get 3 and 4 out of 6 regularly. After that, I took my dishes, cleaned them and came to my room (I had already finished my dinner). Everyone says that I should come back and that was being rude. I am now in my room and I wonder, AITA here? P.S.: sorry for grammar errors, I'm not a native speaker.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: 30 min later, my mom knocked and apologised, my sister was embarrassed and my dad didnt say anything. Thank you all for the advice!  ######","completion":" NTA.  And if your family really are a-holes (I’m assuming what you’re not repeating is that they said something racist or similar), then the good news is that you’re already 16 and can get out of there soon enough.  Keep your space from them now & work on your plan for the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in?  No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ######","completion":" NTA.  And btw, that’s HIS cup now.  He either gives you his (though not sure I would trust that now), or he buys you a new one. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the \"quiet\" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command \"quiet\" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.  \n\n\nMy da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the \"quiet\" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they \"can't\" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ######","completion":" NTA.  All dogs should be trained to be quiet on command.  Your father is wrong on several counts. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ######","completion":" NTA.  After your relationship, a quick no should get your point across. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this past week my 8 year old daughter has been begging me to shave her head. This just started after her 17 year old cousin did it. I've always considered myself a supportive mom and let my kids do whatever they want (within reason of course) \n\nShe had extremely long, blonde, gorgeous hair just like I do. She was fully aware that I was going to support her decision, school was cancelled for the rest of the year and she won't go back to school until August (possibly September) so her hair will have time to grow out.\n\nSo last night, I got out my husband's clippers and shaved her head for her. She smiled the whole time and loved the end result.  \n\nThe next day, I took a photo to send to my mom and only my mom. My mom decided to forward it to a bunch of other family members, who got back to me. 90% of them agree that I'm the asshole for not saying no to her and setting limits for her, and also told me that I'm setting her up for bullying.\n\nHere's the thing - it's literally her hair will grow back. She knows. I asked her if she regretted it and she is extremely happy that she did it. As for bullying, she knows how to stand up for herself and that hair doesn't define her beauty.\n\nI personally don't think I'm TA but I want to know everyone else's views on this. ######","completion":" NTA.  Additionally, good momming: you've shown your daughter a few good lessons: \n\n1. Think long and hard before you make drastic changes. \n2. Advocate for yourself. \n3. Modern beauty standards are bad for self-esteem. \n4. Consent is essential. \n5. She's in charge of her own body. \n6. Do what makes you happy. \n7. Stand up to people who try to tell you how you should look\/feel.  You're in charge of that, not them. \n8. Any change to yourself will piss someone off.  That's their problem, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.\n\nI don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even. \n\nHowever, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######","completion":" NTA.  A pill is a pill is a pill.  My husband and I both take the same medication and same dosage.  When we travel we take one bottle and make up for it when we get home.  I don't see why he's upset. ######"}
{"prompt":"I watched my sisters kids yesterday so that she could go to what she called a 'hot tub party' I dont have kids of my own so im not 100% certain of what to do and she didn't leave me a list. She didnt answer any of my calls or texts and she payed me 5 dollars for 2pm to 11pm. I dont want to sound shallow because I'm fine with watching her kids for free but she said she'd pay me $30. The biggest problem is that i dont want to enable her. I think that if you have kids, that the part of your life where you have no cares and act like a college girl, should be over. And she does this all the time. At the same time, if shes going to do it, then someone needs to be there to watch the kids because it isnt their fault. ######","completion":" NTA.  A hot tub party during a pandemic? Even without the monetary thing your sister is a huge AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hear me out. \n\nFor reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy. \n\nMy older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls. \n\nI live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.\n\nIn almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy\/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the \"I'll eat what makes me happy\" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all. \n\nFinally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault. \n\nWhat do you guys think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.  50lbs on a two year old is ridiculous.  There's a difference between baby fat and fat fat.The parents may be content with an obese lifestyle, but they shouldn't be encouraging all those potential health problems when he's too young to understand the potential consequences.  Continued enabling will surely only make it harder for the child to maintain his weight in the future through no fault of his own.\n\nEdit:  Just to be clear, I am specifically referring to normal 24-month-olds and am not speaking in reference to children with medical conditions.  Given OP's edit, I stand by what I said initially in this specific case. ######"}
{"prompt":"So school is online at the moment so we use zoom. We have to have our webcam and microphone on at all times unless we ask to turn it off. Well I(15M) was in class and I had my door open. Well my sister(20F) walks by my door in  short shorts and a sports bra. She is in her own house no big deal. Well she was in the frame of my camera for a second and my friends being them dmed me on zoom heart eye emojis. So I just played it off like nothing happened well then she walks right into my door frame and was about to ask me a question but I slammed the door on her face and locked it. Once I got out of class I apologized saying I was trying not to get 20 15 years olds to see you dressed like that. She was still really mad at me. ######","completion":" NTA.  “Sis, it was either slam the door, or know that 25 horny 15 year olds were fapping to you tonight.  You choose.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he  played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not\/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ######","completion":" NTA.  \nI had a D&C last months at 12 weeks (trisomy 18) and my husband stuck by me the whole time.  I had to take misoprostal the morning of the procedure and basically spent the car ride as a nauseous, sad ball of cramping.  I might have had a lot of difficulty driving and it takes several hours to arrive at the hospital on time.  \n\nI understand if he is using sports to manage his emotions but FFS there’s a time and place.  Right before your wanted pregnancy is terminated is not the  best fucking time especially if your partner has requested it and needs you there.\n\nEdit.  I can’t believe some of these comments saying OP is the ah because “she’s trying to make her husband miserable”.  My husband had an emergency appendectomy and I had just come off of a 12 hour graveyard shift straight to the ER.  I didn’t even think about fucking off right before his surgery to get some much needed food or sleep let alone to play a fucking game. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, don’t want to be harassed by prolifers.\n\n\nHad an abortion last February. Birth controlled failed, we both didn’t want to be parents. \n\nIt got brought up the other day and he was like “yeah Linda was shocked you had one.” (his mom) and I was really confused why he told his ultra conservative mom about it? \n\nWhen I told him it made me uncomfortable that he told his family without telling me he said it wasn’t a big deal. \n\nHere’s where I might be an asshole. I said it’s not his medical procedure to disclose in the first place and given it’s something people are heavily opinionated on I don’t think it’s fair he talked about it without telling me first, I told him I understand if he needed to vent about it but at least give me a heads up I guess? Especially to super pro life people I see for holidays? I haven’t told anyone in my family and I only told one of my friends who was curious about them. it’s just uncharted territory I guess. But he didn’t say sorry and said he didn’t see the big deal. I asked him if he regrets it or is upset by it and he literally says “no I don’t care, it just came up naturally”\n\nAITA? I literally have no idea. ######","completion":" NTA.  \nHow could your boyfriend even think it is “not a big deal”?   I realise given both your families religious beliefs, it wasn’t an easy decision for you to make... and am sorry you had to go through this.  \n\nYour boyfriend is a massive AH for telling his family without consulting you first. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with a family member who will ask me the same question over and over because \"people change their minds\" and they're checking to make sure I haven't changed mine. When I get angry and explode over it, they get angry back and call me \"ungrateful\" because someone loves me enough to be concerned about me but I give them shit for it and don't appreciate it. They accuse me of not having the basic courtesy and respect to answer the question they are asking, even IF they've asked it already. Each day, there are at least 3-4 things about which I am asked repeated questions and it leads to us constantly tense and arguing.\n\nFor example, we got takeout and there were leftovers. I explained that I was not going to eat them because I didn't like the food so they could have them or throw them out. The next day, they ask me if I'm going to eat them and I say no again. That evening, they say they didn't eat the leftovers because they left them for me to have the next day. I get mad (and admit I might yell) that I already said I wasn't going to eat them. Next day, I am asked again if I am sure I won't eat them and so on.\n\nAnother example is when they go grocery shopping and want to do my grocery shopping for me. I say no and explain I want to go myself to pick out my own food. They'll ask several times that day. Then, they won't go that day in case I'll have a different answer the next day. They'll ask several times Day 2. Sometimes, they accept no and go grocery shopping for themselves. Other times, they wait to go until Day 3 in case I'll change my mind on Day 3. \n\nIt drives me up the wall to have to answer the same question numerous times because someone won't accept my answer. I FEEL like an asshole because I know that they're asking me because they care. However, it's DAILY with MULTIPLE things I am re-asked about. ######","completion":" NTA.  \n\nthe person isn't concerned about your wants, their objective is is for you to do what they want. it's super obnoxious.\n\nfirst repeat: \"I've already answered that question.\"\n\nsecond repeat: \"You asked me that twice already, maybe you should get your hearing checked.\"\n\nthird repeat: \"I'm concerned with how much you seem to be forgetting things. I think this is something to bring up with your  doctor.\" \"We've already talked about this. do you need me to make that doctor's appointment for you?\"\n\ndo it every time.\n\nedited formatting ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first post on this subreddit so here goes nothing.\n\nHey I’m a (18M) and never had dated before. Never even kissed a girl. Haha embarrassing right? My mom absolutely forbade me from dating in highschool saying “focus on grades, not girls.” I went along with this notion and did pretty well for myself.\n\nNow I have wrapped up my first year of college and have witnessed three of my crushes end up with boyfriends and can honestly not take the heartache anymore. I want to start dating.\n\nI’m a premed major and my classes take a lot of time and effort but I feel like I can add a girlfriend into the mix and do fine. My mother doesn’t want me to and believes I should keep “close friends “ and after undergrad I could ask one of these “close friends “ if I want to date.\n\nI want to ask out this girl who is in my major but don’t want to be viewed as a “bad son” for having a secret girlfriend.\n\nWhat makes it worse is that my older sister attends the same small university I do and if she saw me with a girlfriend she would tell my mom about it.\n\nTLDR: WIBTA if I got a girlfriend behind my mother’s back? ######","completion":" NTA.  \n\nDate the girl. As long as you can balance it and you feel ready, do it. Your mother should not have this much control of you as an adult.  And base on the fact that she just want you to \"keep them as close friends then choose them after\" makes me feel like she either completely forgot how dating works, or never had to date anyone ######"}
{"prompt":"I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and  had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She  moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.\n\nSince then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.\n\nMy daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ######","completion":" NTA.  \n\n> says that she wishes I had helped her more \n\nYou've adopted and are raising two of her children, how much more \"help\" does she expect?! ######"}
{"prompt":"I got a Johnny Walker black label I usually share with people that don't like whiskey or wanna mix it with coke.\n\nI currently live overseas so I only have a couple of bottles of a bourbon I particularly like. It's very expensive where I live and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to the States to get more.\n\nWIBTA if I tell my friend she can't have my bourbon if she mixes it? ######","completion":" NTA.  \"I have JW if you're mixing, Maker's if you want it neat.\"  Perfectly reasonable.  And anyone complaining about JW Black as a mixer is nuts.  \n\n\nIf you felt the need to be even more generous, a basic bourbon is going to be better for matching the flavor, but since you're not in the states I know that's not necessarily easy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.\n\nNow, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA.   You boyfriend is absolutely taking advantage of your parents.   Think about whether this is the type of man you want to be with. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? My Niece, 9, is addicted to her smart phone. Everyday whenever I see her, she is I glued to it (tiktok and games) for hours.\nWe are very close, she lives next door, and we do a ton of stuff together (kayaking, Minecraft). We are good friends, and I try to be the cool uncle but I often take a father role as well, as hers sadly is a pos that has 0 to do with her life. \n\nToday, was the same of her hiding inside on her phone while everyone else is outside. I asked my sister if she wants me to set a screen time limit. She said yes, and told me 3 hours. I did.\nMy Niece is upset at this and is pouting in silence.\nI tell her it’s no big deal, 3 hours is plenty of time, and it means more time for fun and doing real stuff. She then gives me the nastiest glare I’ve ever seen from her and lunges her head forward almost threatening.\nAt this moment, I took her phone and said, “excuse me? I don’t think so. Maybe you need this taken away for awhile.”\nWell then she immediately bursts into tears and my grandmother says to me “you’re a bully”.\nShe admittedly did not see the glare. My sister who also did not see it piles on, and consoles her daughter while telling me I’m out of line.\nFor clarity I pay for and supply the phone. \nI then tell them they are reinforcing negative behavior, undermining me and that taking away a phone is not cruel. Well I died on that hill, and I’m still pulling of chunks of tar and feathers. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.   The cellphone is one of the most addictive devices ever invented; the reaction you got is common.   The true AH here is your sister for bad parenting and not backing you up when she asked you to limit your niece's screen time in the first instance. ######"}
{"prompt":"Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance  limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs. \n\n Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds).  Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm. \n\n We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything.  Smell from feces is unbearable.\n\nWe filed complaint with Zoning Dept.  Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs.  \n\nAre we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ######","completion":" NTA.   She knows what she did was illegal. Keep an eye on her.  She’s going to break the laws again. You can be sure of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMe (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in 2 months and have difficulty securing a rental property in this economy.\n\nWe found a perfect two bedroom home with a garden and a driveway for a affordable price in the city. We rang the number on the ad and was put through to this woman, from the start she seems unbothered and very dismissive like she wanting to get us off the phone and generally unhelpful. She took our details verbally and said she would get in contact with the landlord with our and get back to us.\n\nA week goes by and nothing, we were pretty keen on the property so we called for a update and she said she will send us a email to fill out (asking about our income and such)... like wtf why didn’t we do this when we first called. We filled it out and sent it to her within 10 mins. 3 weeks go by and nothing again, no update or anything. Very annoyed at this point we requested to deal with another staff member who called us back within 30 mins and told us the landlord accepted another offer.\n\nHonestly I really felt like she wasted our time, so I looked online for her boss’s email and sent him a very upset email about the unhelpfulness and rudimentary service we received from her, I expressed it has really dampened our first impressions of the company as a young couple. \n\nI received a email back the next day apologising and he even showed me very similar properties on the same street and said If we was interested he’d personally deal with it.\n\nWe rang up today interested and found out she has been dismissed and the person we are currently dealing with said they will help us as much as he can if we promise not to send a email to his boss loool.\n\nSo AITA for essentially getting her dismissed. ######","completion":" NTA.   She got herself dismissed, you didn't do that.  There's no reason that people should expect their bad job performance to go unnoticed and unreported.  At the risk of sounding corny, that's one of the things that keeps commerce running. And she did clearly **know** she was doing a bad job with you, as you complained multiple times and she didn't even apologize or try to fix it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential”  so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog. \n\n\nWhen Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer\/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals. \n\n\nSince moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2\/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.\n\n\nSam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice. \n\n\nI don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.\n\n\nWIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ######","completion":" NTA.   Just know that if you terminate the month to month and he doesn’t leave, many jurisdictions are not allowing evictions, so you’d likely have to continue living with him for at least a few months, and that could end up being really awkward and unpleasant. ######"}
{"prompt":"I made some BOMB ass Mole Verde for my mom on Mother's Day (Family Recipe) and I had enough left over to bring to work with me. I decided to ask some of my coworkers if they wanted to try it. They LOVED IT! Yay! \n\nOne of my coworkers is notorious for calling herself the \"Whitest Mexican Girl\" because she makes \"traditional Mexican food from scratch\" (It's not traditional or Mexican) and asked if she could have the recipe. I told her I'd have to ask my grandma for permission to share but probably not. \n\nI get a text from her later that night saying she had an allergic reaction to my Mole and she needs to know exactly what was in it so she can figure out what she's allergic to.... She also asked for me to bring more so she could try it again to confirm that it was in fact my food that gave her the allergic reaction...WTF?! \n\nWe do potlucks all the time so we're all aware of allergies and she's NEVER mentioned being allergic to ANYTHING in the 3 years I've been working with her. I'm convinced this is just a charade to get my gmas recipe and I had to beg my gma to teach ME! ######","completion":" NTA.   How bizarre of her.   I would just google some generic mole recipe and send her that just so she stops talking about it.  Maybe tell her that she should ask her doctor for a referral to an allergist. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm working at home now taking calls about people's loans. I got a call from some woman asking some info about her payment history and then requested a copy. So I said I'd send her a full payment report. And then *click click* \"Done\"\n\nSilence for a bit. And the she asked \"Are you sending it?\"\n\nI told her I just did. And then she got a little irritated. \"That's it?\" she said in an irritated tone.\n\n\"Yes, I already sent it.\" She then said \"what's with your attitude?\"\n\nI said everything in a very neutral tone so I was confused. I simply said \"Everything is done. Do you have any more questions?\"\n\nShe then ranted at me a bit about how I was apparently acting cocky because I did that \"too quickly\" and easily. So I simply explained to her that it takes only a few clicks to email the info she had requested. And then she screamed \"that's not the point!\" and screamed a bit more and swore at me before hanging up.\n\nAll I did was send her the info she requested in a quick manner. I'm confused. So am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA.   A lot of people are short-tempered nowadays.  Don't lose any sleep over it. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n   I’m 16 years old and very open with my parents about sex. My mom often likes to have boyfriends and my dad loves it. I’m great with that. My mom invites a dude over, I go to stay at my boyfriends house. \n   I’m very uncomfortable around adult men for various reasons. Even my mothers collection of guys make uncomfortable comments about me sometimes. It makes me feel sick inside. \n   Recently she brought up having a live in boyfriend someday. I told her I’m 100% not ok with having another adult man in the house. I figured it was a decent request telling her to put it off for two years until I go to college. I don’t want to constantly be uncomfortable in my own house. I’d feel I’d have to dress covered up, lock my own door at night, and basically hide away constantly to protect myself.\n  She says I have no rights to call the shots as a minor. She resents me at the moment, and thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. I can understand her point of view but I can’t help but feel I have the right to comfort. I’m honestly so scared at the idea but I feel really guilty for hindering this. ######","completion":" NTA.   \nYou have every right to be comfortable in your own home. ######"}
{"prompt":"She snapped me late last night. My \"friend.\" She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented. \n\nI asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property. \n\nFirst of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.\n\nBackstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.\n\nShe basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no. \n\nBut if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?\n\nI'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted. \n\nAnd I feel like the asshole! ######","completion":" NTA.   \nHer request was for you to commit fraud. Decent people don't ask others to commit fraud so they can cover up their own illegal activities. \n\nDon't write anything for her, and seriously reconsider your \"friendship;\" it sounds more like you're an accessory than a friend to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today, my dad decided to pick up Popeyes for lunch today. He asked me(16) and my sister (12) and my mom if we wanted chicken. I said yes, my mom said yes, but my sister said she wasn’t hungry, no. So my dad decided to get fries and 10 chicken wings. \n\nFast forward to when there was one chicken left. I took it, and started eating. My sister ate more than half of the fries and one whole chicken wing after saying she wasn’t hungry. So she asked me if she could have the wing, but I said no, she had a bunch of fries, and a wing after saying she didn’t want any. So I have her a generous amount of chicken. She ate it, but still got mad at me for not giving her the whole chicken. \n\nShe called me a “greedy swine”, and cursed me out in front of my parents, and stormed away. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA.   \n\nYour sister was unnecessarily rude, and your dad should know better than to actually think your sister wouldn’t want any once he brought it home. ######"}
{"prompt":"She’s my father’s daughter, and was born shortly before the start of the pandemic. The pandemic isn’t why I’m not visiting, rather due to the lack of a relationship with my father. \n\nMy parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad played the whole ‘I’ll make plans to come visit you, but never show up’ game for years - about up to the time of me being around 13.  I was very upset with him when he tried actually popping into my life during my early teens, and told him I was disowning him. \nAfter a few years of him weathering me down, I’m in a somewhat cordial relationship with him now. He messages me ceaselessly with “Good morning Beautiful” and “Hi princess” (which makes me feel uncomfortable because guys trying to get in my pants say stuff like that, not my dad ew), and gets very upset and accusatory whenever I don’t message him back. \n\nNow he’s had a daughter, and desperately wants me to visit her. Only problem is that I don’t see him as a dad and whatever blood me and that kid share is akin to being from a blood donation in my mind. He’s basically some annoying weirdo trying to guilt trip me into having a bond with him, and despite me bringing it up several times he just doesn’t realize that he has to actually put effort into forming a bond. \n(Guilt trip level like 100, accusing me of turning my back on my family and history and of hating him and blah blah blah. )\n\nSo, AITA for not visiting my “sister”. \nPandemic stay at home not withstanding, because that’s not the reason I’m not visiting. ######","completion":" NTA.      \nYou have absolutely no obligation to visit what essentially I'd call a sperm donor.       \nHe's trying to force you to bond with your half sister as a way to somehow relieve his own guilt of how useless a Father he was.              \n\nHonestly I'd block him and move on with your life and ignore any guilt trips. ######"}
{"prompt":"As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.\n\nI am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.\n\nThe subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.\n\nWe were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.\n\nHe said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.\n\nIt really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA? You are mixed race. What your friend might be thinking of is colorism, or discrimination between skin tones of a race. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go \"get groceries\" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.\n\nEvery time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always \"needs\" help.\n\nShe doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with \"Yeah, ok then\" and rolled her eyes.\n\nTonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip. \n\nShe is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA? Do you have neighbors? Your sister seems like a nightmare. ######"}
{"prompt":"Girlfriend is upset with me because I (photoshop artist) won’t photoshop “imperfections” out of her images. (Make her skinnier, remove acne, etc) \n\nI think she is beautiful the way it is and photoshopping these images is wrong and most likely not good for her mental health. ######","completion":" NTA? Ask her to use facetune like everyone else lmao. She'll never be happy with herself if she's lying about herself either though. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal. \n\nI walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise. \n\nThere's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town. \n\nI gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said \"Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings.\" I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....\n\nFast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once. \n\nI was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty \"job\" she's done. Her excuse? \"I was busy with homework\". I hung up the phone.\n\nI rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?\n\nI dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.\n\nIf im TA, tell me so I can make it right.\n\nTL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######","completion":" NTA!\nGlad you were only gone for 2 days!\nYour poor dog.\nI don't know why people advertise services, don't complete the service and then still expect to be paid and then get mad. \nGood on you for leaving the negative review. I hope she learns a lesson from this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17f) have an uncle (17m). I've never viewed him as an uncle since he's the same age as me.\n\nNow the little shit finds it hilarious to address me as niece whenever we meet and insists that I call him uncle. Family is very meh about it but mostly on his side. \"You address your other uncles as uncles, why not him? He's your grandfather's son as well, he deserves that title from you just as much as Uncle X,Y and Z do\". Except Uncles X,Y and Z are all around my mother's age, so 20-30 years older than me, not the same age. \n\nHe really put on the waterworks the last time, and now I'm really the asshole for making him feel left out by not calling him \"uncle\" and not responding when he says \"niece\". I've been disinvited from a few family gatherings because I refuse to bow down. \n\nWell, in order to get on some of my family's good side I posted a family pic taken on my birthday. In the caption I said thank you to Aunties X,Y,Z and Uncles X,Y,Z. Except this time I put him as an uncle. I thought this would tide them over since captioning him as an uncle is easier for me than calling him uncle to his face. My close friends know my family dynamics, but the people I don't really know well? They genuinely thought we were cousins of some sort. \n\nWhen I put him as uncle, people kinda went crazy. At first they kept saying I accidentally put him as an uncle and when I didn't reply he started getting messages like \"omg is OP really your niece?\" and \"so OP's grandpa is your dad?\", \"all of your siblings are like in their 40s\". \n\nYeah I basically blew up his entire friend group with that one pic. He's not talking to me and is pretty pissed. ######","completion":" NTA!\n\nr\/maliciouscompliance is funny!\n\nYou did exactly what he told you to do. He shouldn't be mad..!\n\nThe tables have turned. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 days ago I made a cake and invited 2 of my friends to come over to my house. They asked me if the cake is vegan before they started eating. I told them that it is. After they ate it they told me they loved it and would love me to send them the recipe. When I sent it to them on our group they got so mad at me (the recipe apparently included a cacao powder that is non vegan) that they kicked me out of the group then told everyone on social media how cruel I am for intentionally feeding them non vegan food and blocked me on all social media platforms. They haven’t talked to me since that day and I am receiving horrible messages from some vegans. I honestly didn’t do this on purpose. It just didn’t cross my mind that the cacao powder will be non-vegan. I wanted to tell them it was a mistake but I couldn’t because they blocked me everywhere. AITA or did they overreact? ######","completion":" NTA!\n\nHow is coco powder not vegan? First... as someone who is plant based, these kind of ego Uber progressive vegans can fly a kite... a vegan one. \n\nMost cocoa powder is vegan, and the ones that have a small amount of dairy is not enough to make them think they are sick...\n\nI would not consider these smug arses friends, we’ve all seen and heard of these kind of smug vegans before, they don’t represent the masses and would be shunned from the general vegan community. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old. \n\n\nThe problems: \n-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours. \n\n-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore. \n\n-he lied to me. A lot. \n\n-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up. \n\n-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for. \n\n-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me. \n\nSo we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######","completion":" NTA!!!!! so what exactly *does* he do??? doesn’t sound like much of a father or partner to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother can't drive because he gets seizures. I drive him wherever he goes. He wants me to drive him to a protest nearby, but it got really out of hand last night with people being maced and dragged out of their cars and being beaten by cops. He wants to take video as legal evidence in case protestors get arrested, so he'll bring a 360° camera.\n\nI told him that I wouldn't be driving him because it's unsafe, and he got irritated and said he'd rather I drive him than him getting into an Uber with a stranger. I told him that it's my car and I don't have to do what he says, and he told me that if I'm preventing him from doing the right thing then I'm complicit in white supremacy. AITA? He doesn't have any friends he can bum rides off of. ######","completion":" NTA!!!!! It's getting seriously out of hand. I wouldn't solely because i would fear for my family's lives. There are a lot of people getting attacked. Especially people with cameras ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty much I’m a senior in college [22F] and have no prospects of a love interest. I have always wanted to have kids and have a family ever since I was little. My mom [50F] keeps pressuring me to find someone and have kids so I can give the family grandkids. I keep telling her that quite frankly I don’t really want to bring kids into this world because I don’t want to bring them up on a dying planet. She says that I need to stop pretending to be environmentally friendly. She thinks I am who I was in high school. She doesn’t understand that I have been away at college for 4 years growing and changing my mindset. I keep reminding her that I am more than willing to adopt kids when that time comes around because I would still love to have a family but not bring more people onto this planet. I would love to give children that don’t have a chance, a chance. She constantly gets furious and insults me and says i’m pretending to love the Earth and need to stop saying these things. At the end of the day I know it’s my own body and my own choices but I just don’t understand what her issue is. Is she really that against not having grandchildren that are blood related? Or does she really thing I’m pretending? ######","completion":" NTA!!!! You are doing what is best for you AND the planet! I hate when people try to pressure women into being incubators for them. DO NOT HAVE KIDS BECAUSE SHE TELLS YOU TO! Just do you and make yourself happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim. \n\nOne day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way  home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out. \n\nNow it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin. \n\nAITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ######","completion":" NTA!!!! My fiancé and I have both been bartenders for a long time and we alllllllll know what these types of work relationships lead to which are all too common in that industry. Getting food after work then continuing to drink together? Nothing good can come of it and that is not how a committed spouse behaves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory throwaway so men don’t message me about my tits on my regular account + I’m on mobile, so sorry if formatting is weird.\n\nSo, the other day one of my flatmates (with whom I have, up until this point, had neither a positive nor negative relationship with) sent me this long text that started with “we need to talk about the laundry situation.” This was a bit confusing, since I wasn’t aware of any particular laundry situation. The rest of the text was her telling me that I need to keep my bras out of the laundry room because apparently, when she had her boyfriend over, he went in there and saw my bras hanging up to dry on the drying rack, and was so shocked?intrigued?whatever that he checked the fucking tags (I have no idea if this is normal male behavior, but it creeped me out to read) to see the size, and then “wouldn’t stop talking about it.” \n\nI responded with, basically, “then tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off my shit and shut up.” Flatmate did not consider this an adequate response, and told me that I should keep my “pornstar bras” in my room because it’s apparently inappropriate to dry them in the laundry room. At this point I was quite annoyed; I don’t wear “pornstar bras,” I just have very large breasts, and they’re a literal constant source of annoyance and back pain. The bras in question were totally normal, but apparently them being a UK 34H makes them inappropriate. I told her that I’m not going to try to dry my bras in my room since it’s tiny and we have a perfectly good drying rack in the laundry room, which is for laundry, and that both she and her boyfriend needed to get over it and grow up. I know that this wasn’t terribly diplomatic, but I felt like she was much ruder than I was. I didn’t really think about it the next day, but now it’s been three days and she’s completely ignoring me, so I’m wondering if I misjudged the situation. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA!!!! It is your home, not his and laundry (unsurprisingly) can be in the laundry room. Ridiculous that she wasn’t embarrassed to even bring this up, I would be embarrassed if this were my boyfriend. It’s not your fault he can’t respect your space or your privacy. Her boyfriend needs to keep his hands off your undergarments. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was a baby my grandmother used to hand sew me a birthday dress every year, and a matching one for my favourite doll. The dresses were beautifully smocked and must have taken weeks to sew. It was a bit of a tradition. I’ve been keeping these dresses (left with my mother in my childhood home) for the last 30 odd years thinking that one day I’ll pass them down to my own daughter. Well today is my nieces first birthday and my mom sends me a picture of niece in my dress that I was keeping. I’m fuming! My mom doesn’t think it’s a big deal and refuses to apologise for giving it to her. She says she’ll get the dress back when my niece outgrows it. But I can’t help think that the dress will be torn or stained , and also it’s my dress that I’ve been keeping for my own child and I don’t want my niece to wear it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA!!! Your mother gave away your property. Go get the rest of the dresses from her house so she doesn’t have access to give any more away and so your mom doesn’t have to get stuck storing your stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"This sounds ridiculous but here goes! \n\nI (26f) will be eating sometimes (lunch or dinner) and my husband (26m) or our son (18m ), if they aren’t eating or have already finished, will take food off of my plate and feed it to our dog. \n\nIt happened last night, I am a slow eater and finished after my husband. We were talking while I finished and he grabbed a piece of chicken from my plate and tossed it to the dog. I asked him why he would do that and he just laughed, I don’t think he understood that it actually bothered me but his reaction made me feel like I was being crazy. \n\nBut just now, I was eating lunch (we are all working from home\/schooling hasn’t started) when my son came in and scooped up some of my chips and fed them to the dog. Again, I was upset so I asked why he would do that. His reaction was the same, that it was funny and he didn’t think I actually cared. \n\nI feel like an asshole but also, I don’t like that they keep taking food from my plate? It wouldn’t ever even cross my mind to take food from their plates? Also, they do this all the time but usually to eat it themselves, and I didn’t mind as much before because I want them to be full. But the dog has food and table food isn’t good for his stomach anyway so that seems to bother me even more? I don’t know. Am I an asshole?\n\nEdit to add: Son is 18 years old and adopted— sorry I should have clarified. ######","completion":" NTA!!! They're feeding it to the *dog?* That is incredibly disrespectful to you, and not funny at all. The fact that they find it funny when it clearly upsets you is... really something. And the fact that your son has picked up on this behavior is concerning. You should put your foot down and tell them you *do* care, that it *isn't* funny to you, and that even if it seems trivial to them, you don't want them to take your food to feed to the dog. They can use their own food. (Honestly, I would also bring up that it isn't even good for the dog!)  NTA, NTA, NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"Now before I get attacked or anything please let me clarify.\n\nI (19F) moved in with my Ex (19M) a year and a half ago, and while I had been living there it was like hell on earth, I was Verbally, Mentally abused by his parents on an almost weekly basis, and when they were not attacking me, they were attacking their own children and eachother.\n\nI got a job and worked full time, over forty hours a week but whenever I dared to spend the money I worked and earned on myself, even if it was just lunch at work I was called many vile names. All the money that I worked for went to his parents, but I was lied to about where it was going.\n\nI was told it was grocery money but there wouldn't be groceries bought, so it went to drugs. My evidence of this is his father borrowed his phone and forgot to delete a text to a random number asking for a \"Quarter Ball\" which is a measurement for Cocaine.\n\nmy playstation that I had begged my parents for for years that I finally had gotten the christmas before I moved out (moved out in Feb 2019) got pawned a week after I moved in and then got lost in the pawnshop but I was never told, but after months of asking to get it back and saying I'd even pay for it I found out it had been lost.\n\nOr when I found out my grandmother was dying I took a day off of work because I was grieving and was called a whore and a cunt and told I was fucking them over. \n\nNow that I have luckily managed to get myself out of that situation I can see how fucked up it is, but the issue is there is a minor there, who is being mentally abused by her parents on an almost daily basis. \n\nWould I be the asshole if I called the cops for a wellness check, because I could honestly keep going on all shit things I heard and experienced living in that house but it would be an 5000+ word essay. ######","completion":" NTA!!! SO MUCH NTA! get that child some help! ######"}
{"prompt":"Firstly, I know this sounds weird but bare with me. \n\nI’m a 15 year old girl(?) and suffering from diagnosed depression. I was crying in my room and my mum walked into my room and started saying things like “be happy!” “You can’t be sad all the time” “it isn’t that bad” “you’re self-pitying!” And I lashed out. I told her I was depressed and blah blah blah. She told me to just bE hApPy ArOuNd HeR and I screamed “NO! I CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY WHEN IM F*CKING DEPRESSED” she then left and it’s been a day. She came into my room a while ago and told me I wasn’t depressed,that I was being dramatic and I shouldn’t have to go to the school councillor. She’s starting to make me confused. Can you someone please tell me if I’m in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA!!! I'm sorry you're going through this.\n\nI was diagnosed with depression when I was young as well.\n\nyour mom can't keep you from seeing your school counselor, and I suggest you continue to do so. perhaps express to them these issues.\n\nparents hate the idea of their children having anything wrong with them to the point where some of them are in complete denial.\n\ntelling you to be happy won't change your feelings, and you aren't obligated to put on a happy face around her just because she doesn't understand what you're going through.\n\nbest of luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a household where only WOMEN are supposed to wash the dishes. Or house chores in general. My brother stays his ass on the couch all day or playing videos games, who also eats the most food and makes the most dishes with my dad has the nerve to tell me to wash the dishes. \n\nWhen I tell him why don’t you wash the dishes he goes “what I look like to you” seriously!! He tells me you’re helping mom by doing so, so then why isn’t he helping mom too!?? My dad has the same mentality and always makes me do all house chores, I never once seen my brother pick up one thing. \n\nNow I’m not here saying that I’m the most hard working but if everyone did their part in the house, sharing chores, and taking turns to wash the dishes maybe I would wash them too. I try to help out as much as I can but seeing my brother and dad do nothing just discourages me completely, it’s starting to piss me off, they are not only sexist but they don’t even see how backwards their mentality is. Also my mother is the same way, she only tells me to do chores because a woman is supposed to. And that one day I’m gonna have to marry and do my husbands house chores. Like whattt!!! \n\nI also let my brother know that I won’t ever touch any dishes until everyone does their part in the house to help out. \n\nAITA. ######","completion":" NTA!!! I grew up always helping my aunts and grandmothers cook, while my dad, grandfather, and brothers did nothing. It’s a horrible mindset. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: Since I was born I have had a skin condition which causes my skin to dry easily and even crack open in cold times of year. I also have never been very lovey dovey which my parents blame on me not being allowed to have skin to skin contact with them for the first to weeks of my life due to having little to no liver. I stopped hugging people at 3 and would scream and cry if people new to the family or other young kids would attempt to hug me. \n\n\nAs everyone knows almost everywhere is under lockdown currently, which means my dad who travels for work is home and my mum who travels for fun is also home. I am an extrovert but I still prefer to always be a distance away from people so they don’t accidentally or purposely have physical contact with me. Recently my parents have decided since I am unable to go to therapy to help with my distance issues due to covid(insurance would pay for face to face but not online as they no longer consider it occasional) they would help “fix” it themselves. They have been purposely making me sit in the middle of the couch and cuddle them even though it makes me very uncomfortable and if I am tired enough I panic rather than sit in the lounge chair sofa thing they have for me in the living room. Last night I went to tell my mum goodnight and before I left she pulled me down and forced a hug on me which immediately sent me off, and I told her to not hug me EVER as she knows by now I hate it. She got mad and complained to my dad he went off on me for being upset by such a small thing and that I needed to get over this “don’t touch” me BS, as now that I’m in my teens I should have grown out of it as I am no longer a little kid and the phase should have ended.\n\nAITA for being upset and uncomfortable with this as my entire family except 2 of my siblings are on my parents side with me needing to just accept the hugs and kisses I normally refuse. ######","completion":" NTA!!! Exposure therapy without consent just traumatizes further. Tell them they are not helping you and if they want you to be eventually comfortable with touching they have to respect your boundaries.\n\nI am not a touchy person except with whoever my partner is, but my mom loves hugs. So when she really wants a hug she stands a little bit always and opens up her arms. This gives me time to prep and decide if I can do hug just then, and go in at will. When I’m done with the hug I’ll do a double pat if I want her to let go. It REALLY helped our relationship with her listening to my boundaries and as such she gets more hugs (still not as many as she’d like but eh). ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically I like both men and women. And thus I've called myself bisexual since high school. Seemed pretty straightforward and logical to me and no one ever questioned it. Recently though I was chatting with a (likely to be ex-) friend from college who has been giving me shit for awhile about some things. She's in the past jumped on me for saying \"LGBT\" instead of \"LGBTQ+\" and for not having my pronouns in my social media bios and is amazed that I, an LGBT person is \"so insensitive\", (she's cis and straight too.) I've long just chuckled at this. Well last night I made a comment about being bi and we had a convo like this:\n\nHer: You shouldn't use that term, it's transphobic and anti-nonbinary.\n\nMe: um, what? I like both men and women, and used it my whole life. Plus it's part of the LGBTQ+ acronym (humoring her)\n\nHer: yes but it's archaic and considered offensive now. It erases people outside of the gender binary. The correct term now is \"pansexual\".\n\nMe: That's silly. It's pretty simple I like both men and women, I like both male and female bodies.\n\nHer: Do you like only male and female bodies? What about non-binary bodies?\n\nWe went for awhile about it. I basically just said I don't care what someone identifies as mentally if I think their body is hot and I like both male and female bodies. However I only like masculine men and feminine women and people who resemble that. She was screaming at me about how I was erasing people and how insane it is that I'm a queer person who still believes in associating gender with one's body and genitals. I'm stunned.\n\nSo AITA? I'm kind of amazed that someone who isn't a conservative or homophobe would flip out over this. ######","completion":" NTA!!! bisexual is a completely valid term and isn't transphobic in any way. your friend is more transphobic than you are in the scenario, they're implying that trans men and women aren't real men or women, that they're simply the \"transgender\" alternative. if you want to identify as bisexual, do it! you're not harming anyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters she’s 39 weeks, she’s literally about to pop. She also got the dog without consulting me, it was literally a spur of the moment thing with her, and not one time did I bitch about it, or trip. He’s the loveliest Golden Lab mix with green eyes. I will say he’s a handful, and though our apartment is spacious, it’s only but so big. I feel like he sleeps most of the time, but when he’s in play mode, he can be a bit much. \n\nI pretty much chalk it down to the lack of special attention, obviously she’s pregnant so the urge to take him out and walk him on a consistent basis while I’m at work I’d rather non existent. I’m not saying she doesn’t at all, but I feel like a properly trained dog is gonna behave and adhere to house rules \n\nSecondly I just feel like she’s missing the principle. She took on the responsibility, and now she’s “overwhelmed”. She even laughed when her sister in law suggested we put him on the side of the road at her sister’s mother day dinner... Not to mention she rushed into finalizing to move into our current apartment which she low key hates. She’s a serial offender when it comes to this type of stuff. \n\nFurthermore, I feel like I compromise with literally everything, whenever her 4 nieces and nephew want to come over I might bitch, but I give in. I give in to whatever she wants to eat, whatever she wants to drink, when we order good, I pay all the bills and utilities, she literally has zero responsibilities. She hardly cooks, or cleans, and I get it she’s pregnant. \n\nI just feel as though, she can be a really selfish person at times, but this time she’s gone too far. I’ve invested financially and emotionally into the dog, and we haven’t even had him a full month. She gave me an ultimatum, which is “Me or the dog”, and I responded no, “it’s me and Cujo or nothing”. She also named him Cujo. I could be wrong in this entire situation, but I’m not budging. ######","completion":" NTA!! You’re right; a dog is a lifelong commitment (edit: lifelong commitment for them obviously, why are so many people confused by this?), and you both took on that commitment when you got him. Don’t make him suffer and lose his family - animals are living creatures with feelings and attachments just like people, and they get severely affected by abandonment. Your gf is SO wrong and being so selfish, especially when she’s the one who got him without thinking about it and without consulting you. So many people have pets (including young pets) when they start families, and they do just fine; you guys will be fine too. He’s just being a puppy at this point because he’s so young; he’ll grow out of that stage with time. And like you said, with the proper training, he can become very well behaved. You sound like you’re providing him with good care and a loving home (with you, anyway). He’s lucky to have such a dedicated and loving dad like you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for privacy reasons. \n\nI am bisexual. I have dated both men and women in the past but for the past 8 years I have been in a heterosexual relationship and I have biological children with my partner. Last night I was talking about how I would like to watch the new Disney + movie “Out” with our oldest because I thought it might be good to open up some dialogue about gay people and families. I think this is important for a lot of reasons but one being that his uncle recently came out and I would like to talk to him about it. \n\nMy partner scoffed and said my son was too young (he’s 7), and they didn’t understand why I was all of a sudden passionate about gay rights. I said, “well considering I am bisexual, I’ve always been about gay rights.”  My partner said I was an AH to call myself bisexual when I was in a heterosexual relationship and I’d clearly made my choice. He also said that since I wasn’t in a same sex relationship currently I could only call myself an ally. So, AITA for calling myself bisexual still? ######","completion":" NTA!! That is bi erasure. Am I asexual and aromantic because I am single? No. Are you straight because you are in a relationship with a man? No! It's that easy. No matter your relationship status you are still your sexual identity! ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my ex had my first daughter together who is now an amazing 8 year old. When she was 1 me and her dad broke up and when she was around 2 I started dating again and gave birth to my 2nd daughter, her half sister. Then 1 year later we had our son when the girls were 3 and 1. My oldest daughter splits every other 2 weeks at her dad's, every time she comes back from there she is just plain mean to her siblings. After a couple days it dies down and they get along again but its almost as on cue that she will act up when she gets back from her dad's\n\nI finally got to the bottom of it when I was picking her up and she was acting up cause she didn't like that we had to go pick up my son from his friend's house. I told her that it would only take a minute when she let the bombshell out and said something like \"he's not my full brother so why do I have to wait for him?\" I asked her why she thinks like that and she told me that her dad tells her that they aren't her full siblings and should be treated as such. I felt TERRIBLE that I didn't notice that sooner and I told her that she doesn't have to get along or even like her siblings but they are her siblings and wether she likes it or not she we are all in it together as a family.\n\nWhen I got home I called my ex and told him to stop feeding her info that its ok to be mean and treat her siblings mean. He told me to \"mind my own business on how to raise her\" I really didn't call to start a fight and I just told him to never bring up her siblings when she's over ever again.  My husband saw me arguing with him and he just took my phone and hung up cause I was getting worked up.  He told me to not engage with him and that its not gonna help anything.  While he agrees me for telling him off I could have been nicer about it.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA!! Mind your own business? Seriously? I don’t even have words to describe how ludicrous it is to say that to the *mother of his child*.\n\nJust… Ugh!\n\n*screams into the void*\n\nEdit: you know what makes this worse is that after reading this post I reflected on how my parents divorce affected me (they split when I was three so this happened over the course of 15 years until I became independent), and they also really fucked me up by using me as the messenger. They also used to shout at me as if I were the other parent when they were mad, so I know how it feels to be your little girl, stuck in the middle with out knowing better! WTF! \n\nGet this under control before your girl needs therapy later in life. :( ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married. \n\nMy grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.\n\nWhen I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA!! It’s your wedding, your choice. You’ll have tons of photos of this day to look at forever basically.. you need to make sure you LOVE what you’re wearing. \n\nUnfortunately weddings are one of those situations where family members feel so much ownership and emotional investment over things that truly don’t involved them. It sounds like you’ve tried to come up with a nice compromise and your mom is being petty. \n\nStay strong friend and get the dress you truly want! Maybe you can make it a fun day with your mom and sisters and change her mind. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time. \n \nFor the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that. \n \nHe came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house. \n \nI told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times. \n\nAITA for lying?\n\nEDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######","completion":" NTA!! If he really \"respected your wishes\" he wouldn't have been mad at you. Consent can be revoked at any time, and if he is getting mad because to him you \"lied\", that is a concern. He is also being petty for literally hiding in the closet of your own house lol. If he is making you feel guilty at all for not having sex with him, that counts as pressuring you. Not saying he does that now, but if he exhibits guilt-tripping behavior in the future that is grounds for a breakup sis! ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is a stay at home dad(well I guess all dads are stay at home right now but you know what I mean) and he’s really great with our kids. Our son has special needs and our daughter is only 1 so it’s really helpful to have him at home. Plus he didn’t like his job anyway, so it’s a win win.\n\nAt Christmas of 2019 we went to my family’s, and my brother came home for the first time in 3 or 4 years. He works on Wall Street and is one of those people who thinks if you’re not earning money you’re wasting your time.\n\nMy husband and I were talking to him and bit and he asked what my husband did, he said stay at home dad, and then my brother told him to have self respect and stop being a 50s housewife. I told him that it was rude, but he continued and started asking patronizing questions, like what do you do all day, sit in your ass while your *wife*(he put a lot of emphasis on the fact that I make the money rather than him) earns money. Then he asked if my husband wears panties to bed and takes it up the ass.\n\nI yelled at him for being awful, and we haven’t spoken since. He knows if he wants to talk to me again he has to apologize, and he hasn’t. My parents want to organize a family video chat, with everyone, not just me and them, and I told them I wouldn’t join until my brother apologizes.\n\nMy parents told me I’m overreacting and that I know how he is, so just let it go and move on. I don’t think the fact that he’s an asshole means I should accept his actions because he’s an asshole, but now they’re getting mad at me because I’m “ruining their plans”.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA!! He's just really rude, and honestly pretty mysogynistic. And the fact that your parents said \"you know how he is\", makes them AH too. Like you said, just because your brother is an ass does not mean you have to accept his behaviour. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is all from last year, so lessons were still happening. \n\nI own a ranch, and aside from other animals I have several horses. During the summer I offered riding lessons for kids, and a lot of people took them because they were cheaper than other places. When my neighbor (now 15f) was eight, she would often come over and watch the horses through the fences on the paddock. With the blessing of her parents, I gave her free riding lessons in exchange for helping take care of the horses.\n\nShe's great with the horses, and last summer I even paid her to help out with the kids riding lessons. She helps out most weekends and sometimes she comes by after school. Sometimes I even let her take my horses trail riding with her friends, as long as she's being responsible. \n\nLast summer, the mother of a kid I was teaching asked her if she takes riding lessons with me. She said yes. The mother apparently mentioned that my prices were too high, and asked her how much she had paid for lessons. She told the mother that she didn't pay, she just helped because she lived so close.\n\nThe mother came over to me and asked if I could give her kid free lessons because I had given them to my neighbor. I told her that I wouldn't, because my neighbor was helping me in return. She then said that I was discriminating against her daughter because they didn't live close to me and couldn't help out. She also told me that I'm gross for \"exploiting a child for free labor\".\n\nThe way I see it, it's a win-win. My neighbor gets to hang out with the horses (which she loves) and gets a guaranteed summer job, and I get some help with my horses. Still, the mother was adamant that I'm definitely an asshole here. I do feel like kind of a jerk, because her kid lives too far away to come very often.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA!! As a horse-lover myself, I applaud you for giving your neighbor a job and letting her ride your horses for free. 10 year old me is SCREAMING wishing I had that opportunity. That being said, that opportunity is EARNED. The child lived next door, showed obvious interest in the horses, and wanted to be put to work to be able to work with horses. It’s not entitlement or anything of that nature. It’s the kindness of your own heart. And you do not need to give everyone that opportunity if they haven’t worked for it. At the end of the day, it’s your horses, so you do what feels right with them. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story is a couple years old but it's been on my mind lately. For reference, my boyfriend and I were about sixteen or seventeen when this happened if that's important.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo my bf and I were going to hang out at his place and I had called in an order of Chinese for us to pick up, I think it was like one sesame chicken and one veggie lo mein (not very much food.) As neither of us drove we were reliant on our folks for rides, and his mother had offered to drive him out to pick me up from my house and drive us back to theirs. He had asked her if it was alright if we stopped at the Chinese food place on the way back to pick up our order, and she said that was fine.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe picked me up and they waited in the car while I went in and got the food. She seemed fine when I got back in the car, but as we were driving back she made it a point to say to my bf that when his father orders food, he is always polite and orders enough for everyone, all while maintaining eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. I just sat there with a deer in headlights look and didn't really say anything, because what do you say when your boyfriend's mom insinuates you're being rude? We retreated as soon as we got to his place and ate alone, but his mother was weird towards me until I left.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI was talking to my sister about this recently and she told me that she could see where his mother was coming from, but I feel like since I was a kid who didn't have a job it wasn't really my responsibility to feed the house? Especially since like 7 people lived with him, so it wouldn't have just been feeding one or two extra people. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo Reddit, AITA for only buying enough food for myself and my boyfriend, and not food for his family? ######","completion":" NTA! You were a kid. If my mum were in that situation she would of said oooh yea that's a great idea, I'll tag on an order, then she would have paid for the lot because she's not rude to her children's guests. That eye contact was a total power move and really rude imo. You have nothing to worry about.  And anyway, if she had a problem with that she could have spoken to her son about it privately after you had gone. Super disrespectful to you as a guest. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed. \nWhen we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.\nHer family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.\nShe ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise\/magic of a once in a lifetime event.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA! You did what you thought she would like, and she did indeed like it. Nobody else is in your relationship with her. What do you think she would like more? A trip to Spain and a chance to pick out something she's going to wear every day, or a surprise? Surprises aren't everyone's cup of tea. Norms aren't right for everyone.\n\nI hope you're as thoughtful in your wedding planning instead of just listening to other's dumb advice.\n\nCongrats! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 20, when I was 18 my father told me that I have an older half-brother(23) we officially met when I was 19, from day one I knew there was something off about him, he really gave off bad vides so I did my best to keep a distance. \n\nBut my Dad started inviting him to our family holidays, my brother kept on being really odd around me, making weird comments about my appearance and obsessively complementing me, he had a hard time keeping eye contact and always fiddled with a pocket knife he kept in his pocket. \n\nI honestly disliked being around him because of how odd he is. He send me a message of him Confessing his “love”for me,  I told him he’s disgusting told all our family and family friends about his gross confession. \n\nMy dad was angry at me, probably because he feels guilty for not being involved in his life. He told me I’m an awful person for exposing my brother like that and that he’s going through some mental heath issues and that I should’ve kept quiet, I don’t see him as my brother just some stranger who happens to share the same dad. \n\nAm I really the asshole for showing everyone my brothers true colours ######","completion":" NTA! Wow, not only is that creepy, but he’s definitely giving off predatory vibes. Shame on your father for defending him! I would keep some serious distance between you two, and anything weird he does be LOUD about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey all, I’m a college cheer coach, and when I recruited a school I noticed that their coach wasn’t exactly the best. She seemed very rude to the team, and in general. (Which isn’t why I’m posting, just a bit about her). She didn’t care for safety, as she would have the girls throw baskets when they practiced under a low ceiling, and the girls would subsequently crash into the ceiling but she would tell them to suck it up or get taken out. That in itself is a major safety violation, and she does blatantly. I called her out on it, but she laughed and said it doesn’t matter. I wrote an email to the AD, but never got a response.\n\nNow the same coach is making the team fundraise for her and two girls to go to Hawaii for a cheer camp. Which I don’t think the whole team should have to fundraise. But the real kicker is that she plans on taking her family as well, and that her family is included in the team fundraising. I feel like that’s a big no no, and pretty unethical. \n\nSo Reddit. Would I be the asshole if I reported this coach for her blatant safety disregards and now this fundraising stunt to her ADs? I would get in contact with the other assistant ADs for this happen. I feel like I should step in as I also coach this sport and don’t want to see other people get hurt because of this coach. Thanks all! ######","completion":" NTA! Wow all sorts of red flags here! Ethics, safety, leadership...please do everyone a good service and report them! ######"}
{"prompt":"I apologize for my English in advance.\n\n\n\n\nHi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel  it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ######","completion":" NTA! Woah, a lot of pressure at your age. Sorry to hear it. Your English is great for having had such a short period of time to learn. I don't get the \"you're 13 so you should be better\" attitude at all. To me, its more like \"You're 13, have already come so far, and have plenty of time to perfect it\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Context\nMe 16m and my brother 12m get along pretty much well.\nHe will more often than not though *always* leave a dish or crumbs or idk something left over on my bed after he was in there for a little bit and its gotten annoying.\nSo for the past idk month or so whenever he left something on my bed instead of throwing it away or taking it to the kitchen I just have been moving them to his bed and hoping that'd make him stop.\nWell today this happened but he left a contained of raspberries on my bed. So lile usual I moved them.\nWell cue a few hours later he goes back and sees them there. And pulls back the bed sheet to reveal the juices leaked and left a stain on his mattress. He gets mad and goes to the other side of the house.\nThis includes him telling my mom what happened and her getting mad at me for not putting stuff back that he leaves behind. I tell her I tell him to and he doesn't but she just walks off hearing nothing of it \nAt this point i felt bad for the stain so i went and got some peroxide and a crappy towel and got to work.... Voila stain is gone in like 2 minutes.\nHe's still mad at me as is my mother but idk what to do about it at this point\nReddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA! Why is he leaving his trash on your bed? ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.  \n\nI'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.  \n\nFew hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.  \n\nMy roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.  \n\nI think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA! What that guy did was hugely inappropriate. Doesn't matter if he's lonely, has kids or whatever, you do not use your job to access people's contact details and address etc ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?\n\nThis happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies. \n\nSo my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no \nsemen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed. \n\nI ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA! What is wrong with your family?! Your sister marries the person who assaulted you and now your family expects you to just roll with it? \n\nAre you in therapy for what happened to you? I was assaulted a few years ago, and therapy helped me work through a lot of trauma. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.\n\nRecently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.\n\nI replied with \" I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs\". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA! This is like those families that say things like “homosexuals are ruining America and they shouldn’t have the right to adopt\/get married” yet are magically accepting of their own gay child, but no one else’s.\n\nYou’re either racist\/bigoted or you’re not. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nI know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######","completion":" NTA! They would be in major hot water if they had given that food to someone else. Definitely not legal. Once they hand it off to a customer they can't take it back and give it to someone else. It's ridiculous that they even asked you to do that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.  \n\nI work at a welding shop in the midwest.  It's hot, I sweat.  The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.  \n\nThe last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.  \n\nSo I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here.  I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk.  Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.\n\nWork is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts.  I come in, the damn thing is near empty.  Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.\n\nI've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek.  The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA! That’s so rude of them why can’t they just buy their own name brand stuff? Keeping it in your car is a good idea even if it’s a bit inconvenient. Maybe keep a bit of it in your pocket for emergencies. \n\nAlso side note your diction made this post a delight to read lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so during Quarantine, I (15M) get on a Discord call with a few ok my friends every night for about an hour or two.\n\nLast night my Mom asked my to help her find her phone. So I muted myself and went to help her find it. Around 5 minutes of looking in a different room, my Mom had put ok my headphones and listened to the call.\n\nShe had made up the missing phone just so she could listen to the call. I was angry and shutdown my PC immediately and angrily, but not yelling, to give me my headphones.\n\nShe started yelling about how she was my Mother and was entitled to listen to my conversations. So this one Subreddit who likes to judge people AITA? ######","completion":" NTA! that’s a huge invasion of privacy! i’d understand more if she came to you concerned about your internet activity and was worried for your safety but the clear lie and attempt to distract makes her the ahole. you’re fifteen and she has no reason to distrust you. sounds nosy to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######","completion":" NTA! She’s your sister, not your child. You should speak to your parents about what provisions they’ve made for when they pass regarding her care, and that mentally you’re not capable of caring for her yourself. They need to make sure something is there and there is a set plan before they pass. That is their responsibility as her parents and her carers. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7. \n\nMy SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.\n\nThe problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should \"keep looking\" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems. \nWhen we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her. \nWe haven't met her boyfriend\/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to. \n\nI was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.\nHe said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.\n\nHowever, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).\n\nSo WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ######","completion":" NTA! Maybe I'm biased bc I recently cut off my brother for being horrid to me all my life, but I still think you have *every* right to not want to put yourself through this all the time, and honestly, you're not responsible for whether or not your husband goes.\n\nIf he chooses to stand by you and your relationship over her judgement, great for him, he's a good guy, confetti! Honestly, it's very precious to me. It may hurt him, too, but he clearly is fed up with her. You can ask him again if he's sure, make sure he knows you don't want him to be hurt or regret it, and that you don't mind him going, just would like to keep yourself out of it, but the way I understood it, he was already mad before he showed you the texts, and probably had his mind made up. \n\nSupport him and know he loves you so much. Nobody needs family like that, but everyone needs a partner this supportive and protective. ######"}
{"prompt":"I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.\n\nBut my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped. \n\nAnd my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.\n\nThey’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ######","completion":" NTA! it’s not a big deal! i think you should text them and tell them why you’re not hanging out with them as much but really you’re an adult and you’re allowed to decide who to surround yourself with! ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile. \n\nEarlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips. \n\nOf course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion. \n\nNormally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip. \n\nIt took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong. \n\nShe unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that. \n\nI explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off. \n\nThat shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip\n\nEDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ######","completion":" NTA! I work in the food service industry and even though im not working right now because of covid, im always grateful for tips. Especially when people tip at 50%. That woman was the AH not you. If it were me, id call and tell the manager. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend orders packs of wine top our door in a 30 minute delivery service we have here and has been drinking a minimum of a bottle of wine a day for the last two weeks.\n\nFor context she has previously admitted she is an alcoholic and her 2020 resolution was to quit alcohol this year. She went alcohol free for Jan and Feb then started drinking \"socially\" in early march.\n\nWhen I asked her how much she had to drink today when i saw two empty bottles on our counter she called me controlling and said she \"has it under control\".\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA! Hi! I am a 24 F and my fiancé is an alcoholic.  Aside from him- addictions are common in my family. It sounds corny but doing some research on how to approach somebody can be totally helpful. \n\nI’m sorry she shut you down by calling you controlling. I’m really sorry. It’s not you- she really just REALLY wants to keep drinking wine every day. \n\nMy little brother is addicted to meth. When I found out and told him I wanted him to stop for the first time, he told me he would hate me forever and resent me. The same thing happened to my mother, with her own sister. I’m so sorry. Addicts can be incredibly cruel. Their brain is obsessed with the prize. Thankfully- people who recover or make strides to recover usually try to take these things back and make amends. \n\n\nEven if she isn’t blackout every day- a bottle of wine every day is something she depends on and clearly “needs” in her mind, if, when you bring it up for her safety, she refuses to accept it and wanted to make YOU feel bad. It’s addiction. \n\nWhen it comes to alcoholics specifically- they are usually a little more coherent when confronted than other addicts. Alcoholics are more “functional” if you can call being an addict functional at all. They are really really good at running you in circles with an argument for booze. \n\nI’ve been most successful helping my fiancé cut back and control his drinking by having calm and understanding conversations with him about what this does for our relationship, for his health, and especially his wallet. she may not be seeing the consequences to her drinking because, she’s too interested in drinking. Losing trust and being cruel to your SO is a very common consequence of alcoholism. \n\nIt may be difficult but keep trying for your loved one for as long as you can. Approach her with understanding and with her at the forefront of your mind and language and she may open up. ######"}
{"prompt":"We’ve been together for a year now, both 20. She knows I like to play video games, and she doesn’t. In fact, she’s told me her friend destroyed her bf’s stuff after he spent too much time on the games, and that she sees why she did it. \n\nSo to what happened: Yesterday she had asked me if I wanted to come over, and I let her know that I had planned to play video games that night with a couple of friends, I also stated that I haven’t spent time with said friends in a while, and one of them is out of state, so gaming is something we can connect with. \n\nShe got mad, telling me that I don’t care about how she feels, and that all I want to do is spend time playing video games. I don’t bring anything gaming to her house, and I spend 3-4 nights of the week at hers. \n\nI had an appointment to go to, and she had to drive. So we got in the car and she got mad, driving her car out of the driveway recklessly, and ended up bumping into an electric pole just a couple houses over. She pulls back into her driveway, and she tells me to leave, and that if I care more about video games, then she can find somebody else to sleep with, easily. I end up leaving with my stuff and she says “have fun”. \n\nShe ends up calling telling me to “be a man”, that “a man doesn’t play video games”, and threatening to sleep with other people. I told her calmly that her actions have consequences and that her actions are not going to punish me. \n\nSo everyone, AITA? \n\ntl;dr - wanted to play video games with friends, gf gets mad, hits a pole with her car and threatens to sleep with other people. ######","completion":" NTA! First of all, the fact she mentions destroying something you love is red flag one. The fact she drives recklessly when she’s mad is red flag two. The fact she says you’re not a man for playing video games, is red flag number three. You are not less of a man for doing something you love. You see her multiple times a week without playing video games. If that isn’t enough for her, then she’s TA. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband(38M) and I(37F) have been married 17 years. We have two children, 18M and 13F. Every few years my husband gets what I lovingly call baby fever and wants to have another child. I usually respond with \"the baby factory is closed\" and he drops it. It tends to only happen more when friends, family, or coworkers have babies so I didn't really take his requests to seriously. \n\nLast year he told me he wants to have another kid but unlike the other times, he hasn't let it go. It is really putting a strain on our marriage. To him there is no reason to not have another child. We are in a better state financially than we were with the first two and have better insurance. We also own our home. Why not have another? \n\nTo me, it's another 10 months of misery. My first two pregnancies were really rough on me physically and mentally and I was in my early 20s then. I can't imagine how much harder it would be now that I'm pushing 40. Then there is the months\/years of diapers, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, etc. My husband is a good father but 90% of all child care from birth to about 5 years was my responsibility. \n\nI am firmly against having another child. My husband thinks it is unfair that I keep saying no and there is nothing he can do about it.\n\nAITA for telling my husband no to having another child? ######","completion":" NTA! “my husband is a good father” and “i took care of 90% of the childcare” are contradicting statements ######"}
{"prompt":"Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father\/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the \"puberty\" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a \"bro kit\" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######","completion":" NTA! \n\nThis is wonderful! Kudos to you for being a wonderful additional male figure in your little brothers life. This is so sweet. Give your dad a heads up, probably relate it back to something in your youth and give your brother his bro kit. \n\nUgh this is so wholesome, I can’t. 😩 ######"}
{"prompt":"I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with. \n\nSomeone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day. \n\n((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))\n\nAITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######","completion":" NTA! \n\nThe fish tank is still in yours and you have the right to do as you please. To allow him to put a turtle in that small 10gal is honestly animal abuse! Power to you for standing your ground. I hope the right offer comes your way soon! ######"}
{"prompt":"I a (15M) enjoy cooking and baking and have always wanted a stand mixer since it would make life easier in the kitchen and have told my mom this multiple times and had wanted one for my birthday.\n\nAs time goes on my birthday rolls around and my uncle comes to visit use and had brought me a present. I didn't open it until he left as I wanted to spend time with him and not look like a greedy child only wanting the gifts.\n\nWhen he leaves I open the gift and there it was. A decent looking WHITE stand mixer (that's important for later) and was around £80 in value. I used this multiple times in the kitchen and enjoyed using it as it was a great tool for the kitchen.\n\nA few months later I wanted to make some croissants and asked my mom. She said yes. I went to the kitchen looking for the stand mixer and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL\n\nI said a few hateful words saying how stupid she for giving away MY birthday present away for FREE when it wasn't cheap. She said I was in no position to tell her what she can and cant do as it was her kitchen and apparently HER STAND MIXER. I was done at that point and asked why would she even do something like that and her answer was.\n\nIt didn't fit in the kitchen since it was white, not black.\nI gave up at that point and went to sleep as I had nothing to do. And two weeks later she bought another stand mixer which was almost double the price same brand, same wattage but black. Now, since this wasn't my mixer I was not allowed to use it anymore, so now my mixer is gone and I cant even use the new one anymore\n\nI went on another spree of saying mean words to her and she teared up, my 3 siblings say I over reacted and now I feel guilty \nSo AITA\n(Sorry if this story was too long I had to get a lot of my chest since I was angry)\nEdit:cleared up a misconception ######","completion":" NTA! \n\n\nI feel like the people criticizing you aren't understanding the entire situation. I see in some of your comments that:\n\n- you kept your stand mixer out of sight unless you were using it, but even those thirty minutes when you're actually using it are too much for her. No one is even seeing her kitchen while you're using it!\n\n- she gave away *your* possession without telling you. She could have at least warned you that she was going to do that, so that you could say you'll just keep it in your room or something until you move out (it still would have been ridiculous of her, but at least you would have had more of a say).\n\n- she bought a new one for herself. When I first read that, I thought \"okay well at least OP has something they can use until they move out, at which point mom should really buy them a replacement.\" But then you said that YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE IT.\n\nIf this is all the case, then your mom is straight up an AH. You have every right to be mad at her but it sounds like she's incapable of seeing that she was wrong.\n\nPlus it comes off like she's probably not even going to use the stand mixer herself, but just wants it as \"decoration\" (it might sound ridiculous to others but for many people a stand mixer — at least a kitchenaid one —is a status item). ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her. \n\nI got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######","completion":" NTA!  Nobody is entitled to be a part of your wedding!  Even if she WASN’T abusive, she still doesn’t get an automatic pass, and the fact that she couldn’t be nice or supportive shows that you made the right choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1\/4 black, 3\/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1\/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour. \n\nThere is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1\/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it. \n\nAITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ######","completion":" NTA!  Don’t walk, run to that workshop.  Go and share your experience as a mixed person.  It will be cathartic to express how you felt during the times you didn’t feel “white” enough and times like these when you don’t know if you are “black” enough.  You will undoubtedly learn from others as well.\n\nEdit: corrected spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep it short. \n\nMy (27F) brother (38M) is currently living in a different part of the state than the rest of his family (Wife and 2 kids). He called me the other day to tell me he’s interested in buying a house. I felt it coming that he would ask but I really didn’t expect the guilt trip. \n\nHe was approved for a loan of 150k but he would have to move further away to be able to afford a house in that range. He wants me to co-sign on a house and receive a loan in MY name for another 150k so he could buy a house closer to the family. \n\nI’m not all that close with my family to begin with so that factor doesn’t really affect me. However, our kids are close in age and were close before the initial move so he said it would be in the best interest of them and the family to have him move closer. \n\nMy mom is 25k in debt, my father has a foreclosure on his record, and my brother declared bankruptcy a few years back. Everyone has some kind of huge negative record which is prohibiting them from assisting my brother, im the only one with a somewhat clean record. I do have some debt but not nearly as much as the rest of my family. I’ve already told him based on my income and credit I don’t think I would qualify but he’s a real estate agent so he sucked me into believing maybe I could. \n\nMy issue is I’m a single mom who is only now finding herself in the beginnings of financial stability. The idea of 150k being under my name towards a house I won’t even use is making me nauseous. I’ve always struggled with telling my family no and I know the wave of guilt is going to engulf me eventually. I don’t want the kids to be split but I also don’t want to risk my financial future. Tell me reddit, would I be an asshole in telling him absolutely not? \n\nTL;DR: my brother wants me to co-sign 150k towards a house I wouldn’t even live in for the sake of the family. ######","completion":" NTA!  Don't cosign, DON'T EVER DO THAT!  I'm a lawyer who represented cosigners in foreclosures and debt collection actions, and I'm begging you, for the love of God, Allah, Yahweh, and\/or the Flying Spaghetti Monster DON'T DO IT!  You will be 100% on the hook if they fail to make payments, and that kind of thing can and does destroy people's lives - often.  You're not only not the asshole, you're making the only possible safe decision here by saying absolutely not.  No \"family\" duty should involve putting yourself $150,000 in debt!  \n\n&#x200B;\n\n(Pant, pant)  As you can possibly guess, I have strong feelings on this subject. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick things to remember \n •pregnant girlfriend  \n•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.  \n•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible\n\n  I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ######","completion":" NTA!  \n\n\nI dislike it how people want to endanger others for stupid beliefs that they read on some idiots blog! Be sure to talk to your GF about how you don't want the baby around her mother. At all. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory on my boyfriend's brother is that I don't like him and he doesn't like me. My family is comfortable without being wealthy while my boyfriend's family is definitely wealthy, and the brother seems to think I'm a golddigger despite my boyfriend and I splitting everything 50\/50. He is the kind of person who will ask the groom on the day of his wedding if he needs a getaway driver and tell people to get prenups at their engagement party, and I'm saying this because I've seen him do both things more than once.\n\n\nI'm pregnant. It's definitely ahead of schedule but my fiancé and I are happy about it. I'm around 5 months pregnant, my fiance proposed about 2 weeks before we found out. We told his family earlier today over zoom. His mum, dad, and sister congratulated us and his brother did too, but then the brother made a joke about getting a prenup (which we are doing anyway). My fiance's sister told him to shut the fuck up and the dad said \"come on now\" in a reproachful tone, and then I said \"just checking are you aware there are personality traits other than dickhead and edgelord?\", after which my fiance's mother told me off for speaking to her son like that because he's just looking out for his brother. I asked if \"I'm just meant to let him say whatever he wants, then?\"\n\nCall ended quickly after that, and now I've had messages from my future parents in law and brother in law all expecting me to apologize in order to smooth things over. Fiance says not to apologise for shit and his sister says they're ridiculous but this might be the easiest way to move on, and pointed out that I did go for him there when they'd already spoken to him.\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA:. Don’t give them an apology, you have your fiancé and his sis on your side, you’re good. Dad is probably going with it because of the mom. Stand your ground. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother is in her 40’s, she got out of rehab for drug use recently. \n\nWhile in rehab (she says) she applied to half-way houses for afterwards, the applications were denied.\n\nShe got out of rehab and decided she was going to Georgia the next morning. That night she spent a night in a hotel with a friend. I didn’t hear from her for about 3 days.  Tonight while I was working she asks me to pick her up afterwards. I ask where she wants to go and she just lays into me about how she has nowhere to go,  no one cares, and to just forget about it. Emphasizing how she has nowhere to go, most likely to guilt me into offering her to stay with me. \n\nThis was typical behavior of her when she was using and I, rightfully so, do not want her in my apartment if she is using again. And I don’t necessarily want her here even if she isn’t. \n\nAITA for feeling this way? ######","completion":" NTA: Your feelings are valid and you are entitled to them. It would be my possibly less than humble opinion that she hasn't reformed if she isn't acknowledging 1)how she messed up by using drugs 2) how she has wronged you specifically (making amends I believe is the term used 3) how you are not responsible for how she is treated by others. 4) you are not responsible for taking care of her 5) she is responsible for her situation and she needs to be the one to take action to get out of it.\n\nYou simply can't help her as long as she doesn't acknowledge these things. You could only enable her. Consider seeking out a support group like Al-anon once Covid settles down or find one online. There are non- religion based ones as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######","completion":" NTA: You weren’t speeding. Your friend was driving and chose to speed. Always good to pitch in for gas, but speeding tickets? That’s not on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I'm probably TA but frankly IDGAF and I'm posting this anyways.  \n\nBackstory:My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my mom remarried instantly (I think its cause she didn't want to be alone the days I wasn't there).  I am an only child but her husband had 4 kids all around my age, so at 5 I now had \"siblings\" who were 6,5,3 and 2.  At first it was alright but as time went on I hated it, they would all gang up on me and it was always a 4v1.  \n\nSo I spent a lot of time at my mom's and with them, they excluded me a lot saying how I wasn't one of them and it was always tense.  Our parents tried to make it work they really did, but the kids wanted no part of it and I didn't want any part of it after the constant fighting and bullying.  At 8 or 9 I started playing a lot by myself in my room.  At 14 I asked my dad if i could live with him but he had a bad living situation and couldn't afford to have me and he wanted me to at least have a good home which I respected.  After years you'd think id see them as siblings but I felt nothing but indifference for all of them cause I can't remember having a single good moment with any of them. \n\nI moved out the second I turned 18 and I split rent with my dad, I got accepted into a GREAT college.  I don't want to give out the name but if you watch college football they are one of the 4 teams that made the playoffs this year.  \n\nWell now college is shut down and I ended up moving back in with my dad for the time being.  I was visiting my mom and I told her about the college, she was proud of me but my step sister (the oldest and 1 year older than me) asked why I didn't tell the rest of the family about me going to a good college.  I told her I did tell my family, she got confused and I told her I told my family.  She finally got that I meant not her or her siblings\/dad.  She called me a dick and left the room and my mom said I was being rude and practically kicked me out of the house. ######","completion":" NTA: You get to choose who you include in your family. ######"}
{"prompt":"In high school (who am I kidding all of school) I was a huge nerd. GPA had to be 4.0 or I felt sick so I obviously studied a lot. I sacrificed countless hours I could have spent having fun and hanging out with friends to get good grades. So in 9th grade biology we had a test I had studied hours and hours for cuz I wasn't sure on the material and it counted for 40% of our grade. So day of the test comes and the teacher passes it out. We had to cut out strips of paper with descriptions of I think cells and glue them in the right box. (Dont ask my why in 9th grade we were cutting out colored paper like we were in prek) so I cut all mine out and I'm excited.  I know them all! So I start lining em up on the paper. I look up and notice the guy across from me (our desks faced each other) was copying me! Like not glancing over because he wasn't sure on one thing but copying my entire test. I was livid! So I quickly rearranged all my strips to the wrong boxes and he does the same. As soon as he turns his paper in I rearranged mine to the correct answers, glued them down and turned my test in. When she returned our tests I got 100% and he got.....0% The look on his face. Priceless.  He just kept looking at my test then down at his. Neither of us ever mentioned it. So was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA: This may have been petty, but it definitely got the message across ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (18) currently living with my parents since my college has been shut down. My older brother (20)  lives with my parents, too. \n\nI’ve been staying in my old room while my parents have made the basement into an apartment-style room for my brother. Basically, he has a small fridge, microwave and bathroom down there. \n \nI was getting out of the shower in the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom when I got the feeling that someone was watching me. Since my parents are at work (they’re both essential workers) and my brother in the basement (or so I thought), I ignored the feeling and continued to dry off. However, I started to get creeped out, so I turned around (It’s hard to describe the layout of the bathroom, so I’ll just say that my back was to the door) and saw my brother in the crack of the door. It was only opened a little bit but it was enough to see his face before he ran out of my bedroom (note: I always close my bedroom door before I shower). \n\nI quickly got dressed and ran after him, shouting that he was so fucking creepy and a huge pervert and I’m going to tell mom and dad what a creep he is. \n\nHe slammed the basement door closed in my face and locked it. I tried to jingle the door handle open while continuing to yell how creepy he is. After a few minutes, I ran back up to my room and locked my bedroom door, feeing so gross and violated. \n\nLater, I was on FT with my friend and told her what happened. She laughed and said that he was probably just fucking around and trying to scare me. I disagreed but she’s convinced that I overreacted and should just prank him back.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA for calling my brother creepy? ######","completion":" NTA: This is a Class A Case of the ***yuckies*** ######"}
{"prompt":"So some friends and i were heading to the capital of our country by train.  We knew it was going to be very hot, and we all had hoodies on. The thing is I was the only one who had a backpack with me. The other ones had small \"man bags\"\n\nI said before the train even left, that i didn't want to carry their hoodies. But during the day one of my friends asked if he could take his shirt into my backpack. I said no, even though I had plenty of room, purely of of principle. The others said I was being a jerk because they then had to carry their hoodies in their hands. But I think i am in the right because i told them  I didn't want to carry their backpacks earlier.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo AITA for refusing to carry a hoodie, even though i easily could have, purely out of principle? ######","completion":" NTA: They could have brought their own backpacks, or just not have worn hoodies. Checking the weather is not hard. You are not obligated to be their coat rack because they didn't prepare. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though. \n\nI have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc. \n\nIt's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA: there are online appointments she could make with doctors, and i think nthat what you said is reasonable ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant. \n\nHe wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because he said we weren't ready. \n\nI said I wasn't comfortable doing that as I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself. \n\nI wasn't supposed to be able to have children so getting rid of what I see as a miracle would destroy me.\n\nI told my fiance that he could leave, sign of his rights if he wanted to, I wouldnt hold it against him and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything.\n\n\nHe had been on and off again supportive but never left. Our son is 2 months old and my fiance snaps at him, says rude things to him, etc because \"he's a baby and he won't remember it\" but there's a lot of anger towards the baby. \n\nI don't want my son to be raised in a household where there's resentment and I feel like that's how it will be.\n\nSo am I the asshole for keeping my son which is causing turmoil within my fiance and for my son to be raised with a father who shows the resentment? ######","completion":" NTA: That is your son. In terms of importance, your son comes first. He is your direct responsibility. It seems your fiance didn't want children and that's in his right to feel that way. Have you spoken to your fiance about his behavior? Maybe he feels trapped in the relationship or doesn't like that he is no longer your one and only. Your son deserves a family full of love, even if that family doesn't include your fiance. Stay strong 💖 ######"}
{"prompt":"So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.\n\nSo today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.\n\nHer two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.\n\nThey've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA: She wanted you to have it. Her children need to respect that.  It sounds like they are the greedy ones. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy. \n\nI logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that. \n\nWe would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc. \n\nA neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do. \n\nShe then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says: \n\n'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.' \n'I have never met you in my entire life' \n'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely' \n\nI replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'. \n\nShe replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that. \n\nI'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private. \n\nAITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######","completion":" NTA: she friended you, you commented on her post- nothing at all warranting someone to get upset. My gut is telling me she has a jealous and controlling husband. Are you an attractive guy? I wouldn’t be surprised if the husband was the one who messaged. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex wife and I got divorced because she was cheating on me. We had one child, my daughter who is now 3. We got the divorce finalized in January and she voluntarily gave me full custody.\n\nWe haven’t been in contact since. I didn’t block her because I wasn’t planning on preventing her from being part of my daughters life if she changed her mind. Today she texted me that it would have been nice to hear from me for Mother’s Day. I responded that she’s not really a mother, she just gave birth. She got pissed off and she blocked me. I feel like I perhaps shouldn’t have said that and I went too far, but at the same time she cheated and I don’t really feel bad.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA: she chose to leave and she chose not to be a mother...she just donated her eggs to you pretty much. Soldier on and raise your daughter to be the best she can be ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a very successful restaurant chain in my area, which I am the founder, owner, and CEO of. \n\nI named the restaurant after my two children, and we are very well known across several states. \n\nProblem is, years after I launched the restaurant, I had a third child. \n\nNow that my last child has gotten older, they've realized that they are not included in the name of the restaurant. \n\nIt's also worth mentioning that this restaurant is one that school kids, as well as college kids, and adults, often frequent. PLUS, it is providing ALL of my children college tuition, as well as a little extra along the way. \n\nBack to the gist of the story... \n\nMy last child is all of a sudden up in arms and demanding I change the name of the restaurant so that the name will include them, too. \n\nI refused. \n\nWe have been a staple amongst the locals across several states for MANY years. They know us. They know our name. If we change now, it will only cause problems and confusion. \n\nWorth noting again*** \n\nTo make up for this, I have named several dishes on my menu after my third child so that they no longer feel excluded. \n\nSo, AITA for not renaming my old, well known restaurant after my third child? ######","completion":" NTA: naming some dishes was an appropriate response. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second. \n\nSo me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.\n\nNow fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude? \n\nLike I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######","completion":" NTA: It is very mature of you to place firm boundaries about not wanting to take in a big dog. You know that he won’t be able to take care of the dog, and you don’t want to. So you are being mature by not allowing the dog to move in. Just insure you have a mature sit down and don’t make it into an argument. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically. \n\nToday I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response. \n\nBefor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home. \n\nMy mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child. \n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA: In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson. Stay the fuck at home.\n\nThat means you and your sisters family stay away from each other. ######"}
{"prompt":"Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F\n\nFrom what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very \"waste not want not\"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.\n\nMy girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.\n\nShe has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.\n\nHer mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.\n\nSo, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.\n\nHer argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.\n\nWe've talked and argued several times.\n\nI had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.\n\nMy girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.\n\nMy mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.\n\nWe tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA: If her mother cant respect your wishes in your own home, she is TA and needs to go. Period. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F\/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: \"I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less\". \nNow when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?\nAlso it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ######","completion":" NTA: Id first tell your parents your plan. Maybe they can tell him its THEIR house and you both get to use it with regards to other people. But yeah its not that mean to give him a taste of his own medicine. ######"}
{"prompt":"I used to go to a gym nearby and that closed down. I got some stuff on Amazon and have a pretty decent home gym. I have had some of my former gym members come by and use my place. I have them use it one at a time and wipe things down after they leave. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nThere is this girl call her Karlee. Karlee a while back told some other people that I and some other guys at the gym were checking her out. And just to paint the picture she is not at all attractive and pretty overweight. I never checked her out nor stared too long. I think she honestly said it just to get attention. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen she asked if she could drop by I told her, that I don't feel comfortable with having more people at my house. She started begging me, if she could only come Sunday mornings. I told her no, then next day she starts messaging me again if I have reconsidered. Flat out I don't want her in my house someone that is this much trouble at my gym will only cause more trouble in my dwelling. She thinks of me as an a-hole. ######","completion":" NTA: I'd straight up tell her that the remarks made you uncomfortable and you wouldn't feel comfortable being alone with someone who felt that way about you. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 weeks ago my wife was facing covid symptoms, she tested negitive about a week or so ago. One of her oldest friends was hosting about a 20 person party for her gender reveal. I told her we shouldn't go because she got over covid and I never had it. We would be break state curfue and social distance. I told her to simply call her the next day and say what happened and talk to her. Am I the asshole for not letting my wife see her friend's during this pandemic? ######","completion":" NTA: I don't like the phrasing \"not letting her go\" but the sentiment is right. This woman needs to sit her behind at home during this pandemic.  People like her friend are not doing their part to help society fight the various. There is a reason that these restriction are in place, ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is an avid computer gamer - mostly WoW-type games. Approximately five nights of the week, he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8:00 or 8:30 to about 12:30, so at least four continuous hours. That in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship. He spends plenty of time with me and our son, and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online.\n\nA few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online, and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs. I fell pretty hard and dropped the basket. Luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards, resulting in a bruise on my butt but I was otherwise fine. The laundry basket clattered down the stairs, ricocheted off some basement furniture, shot laundry everywhere. It was a huge racket. It woke up my son. My husband, who had his headphones on, heard literally nothing.\n\nIt dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me, my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours - like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs? So I asked if he would be willing, for my peace of mind, to just pop out of his office at the mid-point each night just to check on me. Like literally, just say hi and go back to gaming. He thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time. I know for a fact that he isn't actively playing the entire time and he sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, so how is this different? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA: I do it all the time for my wife, don’t see why he can’t. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.  \n\n\nSo I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.\n\nI'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA: he’s a tenant in your home and can live by your rules ######"}
{"prompt":"I owned a really, really nice 2 door, droptop sports car when we were first together. My boyfriend has kids. I don’t. I never wanted kids but, they come along with him, so I have indulged in step-parenthood and spend time with them playing, doing sports, homework, look after them when they’re sick, surprise them with random nice things, talk to them about girl issues and life. He pays the child maintenance but I obviously spend money on the food and drink when they are here as well as a lot over birthdays and Christmas. I feel I give a lot to them.\n\nMy car was a manual. He only drives automatic. He has always pushed me to sell my car and get a 4 seater so I can also use my car for the kids. And automatic for convenience so we can both drive each other’s cars if needs be. I held firm.\n\nBUT In the 3rd year if our relationship my boyfriend lost his job.\n\nI sold my sexy 2 door sporty droptop to support us. It hurt and I felt I was losing a part of myself honestly but it had to be done.\n\nWe have since been carpool sharing his 4 seater little family car.\n\nNow in our 4th year together we have had a small joint windfall. Both agree we should buy me a car.\n\n* He wants me to get a reliable family car.\n* No droptop.\n* 4 seats minimum.\n* Automatic so he can also drive.\n\nIn my heart I really want to have another sports car. Specifically the sexy 2 seater manual drive I had before. Only a much cheaper version.\n\nI can probably compromise with a 4 door automatic droptop but in my price range they’re all so ugly compared to what I had and not really what I want.\n\nAITA for being selfish and wanting my private fun car or should I be thinking of the whole family more?? ######","completion":" NTA: edited to add a judgment \n\nINFO what possessions of his did he sell when he became unemployed? And did he regularly leave the children in your care while going off to work\/ with friends?\n\nYou sold your most prized possession to fully support him (and his kids, when he had custody of them), but it does not seem like he made the same sacrifices. It is clear you have already thought of the family and put them first, getting the kind of car you had before would just be making yourself “whole” again after the loss of your car. It sounds like he has been selfish this entire time.\n\nI don’t understand why it is so necessary that he be able to drive your car in the first place, but if it is so important why won’t he learn how to drive a manual car? Instead you have to buy an automatic to accommodate him? And then since you’ve already accommodated him a little, now you must accommodate him more by having enough seats to fit his children in it as well! \n\nYou can drive his car, so if he wants you to drive him and his children around then you should be taking his car anyways. And he shouldn’t be leaving his children with you and going off elsewhere (other than a quick trip to the store or something), so he shouldn’t be able to pull the “in an emergency your car wouldn’t be able to fit both my kids.” It seems like he wants to set up a situation where he has ability to leave the kids with you and go elsewhere, giving you all the responsibility of looking after his own kids.\n\nHe clearly wants you to be taking on more responsibility for his children, which it is not okay that he has seemingly made this decision on his own. That should be a conversation between you two, rather then him nagging and making demands to buy the car of his choice. He does not get to unilaterally decide that you will be taking an active role in parenting his children. You knew he had children and agreed to stepmom role, but being the only person making sacrifices for the good of the family is decidedly outside of the scope of “stepmom” role. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had to record a speech for an online course, and my newborn would not stop crying the entire time I tried filming the speech. So I picked her up and was pretty much holding her to my chest the entire time that I was filming. My s\/o was at work and I had to get this video in, and the only way I could finish the filming was if I held my baby for the entire 10 minutes, or I’d have to hear her screaming in the background of my video. (And no I could not have someone come over and help me out, for obvious reasons).\n\nWell when I uploaded the video, my classmates had to make comments on my body language and presentation of the speech that I was giving. All of the comments were saying that I was using my newborn for a better grade and that it was unfair to everyone else, how since I was holding her they wouldn’t be able to properly critique my speech, stuff like that. The comments didn’t necessarily bother me, it was more so how my professor reacted to my video.\n\nShe sort of reacted the same way as the students. She told me that I wasn’t being fair to my classmates and ended up giving me a zero on the assignment. I asked her if I could record it again when my s\/o is off of work the next day, however at that point it would’ve already been late as she didn’t give us feedback until this morning which was 3 days past the due date. She isn’t giving me the option to re-do my speech because I apparently “took advantage” of having a newborn and tried to purposely use an advantage against my classmates to try and get a better grade.\n\nSide note: all of my professors this semester were aware that I was going to have a baby a few weeks ago, as I informed them of my situation before the semester even begun. ######","completion":" NTA: Contact your department chair and if they don't respond, the dean. This is getting into discrimination territory which they do not want on record if you were to go to the local paper or anything that would generate publicity. Also mention it on the end of year evaluations if your prof doesn't have tenure. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile. \n\nEarlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips. \n\nOf course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion. \n\nNormally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip. \n\nIt took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong. \n\nShe unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that. \n\nI explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off. \n\nThat shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip\n\nEDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ######","completion":" NTA: a tip is a tip. Not everybody has cash on them. Every time I order online I normally tip that way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a childhood friend, I don’t want to say she’s entitled but I suppose she is. She looks down on everyone she meets. Her way or no way. \n\nAnyway, her birthday was a few days ago, and for the past few months she’s been asking me what I’m getting her for her birthday, and telling me what she wants. She also tells me the price range of what she wants cause she doesn’t want something “So cheap it hurts her eyes”. \n\nAnyway, her birthday rolls around and since I’ve been extremely sick, and in the hospital, I couldn’t get her much. I got her an album of her favorite pop singer and a hoodie.\n\nA few hours after my mom had brought it to her house, I get an angry call from her.\n\n“Why didn’t you get what I asked for?! I didn’t want this at all! What’s wrong with you are you stupid?!”\n\n“I’m sorry I couldn’t get much, I’ve been in the hospital.” \n\n“Well that’s what AMAZON is for!”\n\nI put Amazon in all caps, cause she screamed it extremely loud.\n\nShe hangs up and I haven’t heard of her since.\n\nAITA? I feel bad. ######","completion":" NTA; she needs to be kicked down a peg. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders.  My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.\n\nI can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.\n\nAITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA; It’s really weird that your father is bothered by this. It’s almost creepy that he’s calling you a naked woman, when you’re his daughter in a towel. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage. \n\nMy sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work. \n\nThis means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime ) \n\nAt this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza. \n\nShe does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.\n\nAm I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.\n\nAITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######","completion":" NTA; it's totally understandable that you are tired of helping take care of her, but it sounds like she needs serious medical help. I think you should encourage her to talk to her doctor - maybe frame it as \"Look, it's really hard for me to see you be this sick.\" If she's unwilling to get help, or take pain meds, then you aren't on the hook for taking care of her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.\n\nI'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.\n\nI was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the \"mother of the bride\" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.\n\nI didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying \"this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding\".\n\nMy sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.\n\nI was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?\n\nEdit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white\/eggshell\/cream is just as inappropriate. ######","completion":" NTA; if stepmom thought your sister wouldn't mind, she wouldn't have been so pissed about you showing your sister. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL and BIL had a....quick romance. They started dating after a month of knowing each other, got engaged after 4 months of dating and got married a month after being engaged.\n\nThey'd planned on a year engagement but wanted to move in together. (Sex. They wanted to lose their virginity. Think Westboro Baptist 'Christian')\n\nSo, they announced that they were going to get married in a week via text message. They informed my parents in law that they would use their  back yard and insisted that we all pitch in to help.\n\nSo, my hubby and his parents took off work to clean and renovat a rather neglected back yard. I was able to cut my hours to help as well.\n\nI sewed her dress and her maid of honor gown. If those had been commissioned gowns, they'd have been 1,500 or so USD each. I didn't charge her for my time or material. \n\nMy husband bought a few thousand dollar worth of material to build a dance floor, upgrade the porch and other stuff.\n\nTheir 6th anniversary is happening soon and we got a text from my SIL. She pointed out that money is tight right now(shouldn't be but see another post about that). She asked me to please send money for the anniversary and too send money that I forgot to send for their wedding gift. \n\nI pointed out that the gowns and WEDDING was her gift. She texted back that a dress to be worn once was hardly a good wedding present and I was a bitch ######","completion":" Nta; I sew. I deliberately wore my mom’s wedding dress so that I wouldn’t put anyone through more trouble than just the dry cleaning and a few tacks. Also sentimental value. If there’s any one out there who thinks that drafting and sewing a dress, especially a wedding dress, is easy...please go suck an egg. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.\n\nEdit:\n\n* I am currently attending university. ######","completion":" NTA; $400 is more than reasonable. But they're asking for more? And you're in college? \nWait, who's paying your tuition? ######"}
{"prompt":"I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved. \n\nTo be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said \"Please don't park here again. It's reserved.\" I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day. \n\nToday, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, \"Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved.\" My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it. \n\nI've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying \"We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do\" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed. \n\nSo, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ######","completion":" NTA,tow driver here, its in your lease and you pay for it. As long as its documented in the lease you can call almost any tow company that does private property impound, and theyll tow it away at the owners expense. They knew what they were doing when they did it. When they go to the office to pick up the car their going to say every excuse to get it free, so don't feel bad. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my background was a picture of a dog that said \"what the FUCK is oatmeal\" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was \"traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said \"spy on individuals you don't know.\nSo AITA \n\nEDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######","completion":" NTA,\nI can already tell how entitled your sister feels because of her precious and impressional age. Best of luck with that mess of manipulation. ######"}
{"prompt":"My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.\n\nLike I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.\n\nI standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should.  Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA,\n\nYou do the crime, you do the time. ######"}
{"prompt":"For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.\n\nSo on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad. \n\nSo we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat. \n\nShe then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.\nThis was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her. \n\nOn the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming. \n\nFor context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ######","completion":" NTA,\n\nYou are not the asshole at all. Your dads partner sucks and I’m sorry she’s so annoying and tried to work her way into dinner plans like that. \n\nHappy belated birthday! \n\nI hope you had a good birthday despite the chaos ######"}
{"prompt":"An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out  for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.\n\nWhen she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean\/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).\n\nSo of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!  \n\nNo response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.\n\nI reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.\n\nI texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.\n\nI called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.\n\nSo they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.\n\nSo..  AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA,\n\nThis \"friend\" pretty clearly used your money for drugs, and is mad that they got caught. ######"}
{"prompt":"Every since the age of like 16 my brother got REALLY rude and disgusting. Like I know boys can be messy but he takes it to an 11. He leaves empty boxes of food in the cupboard, he refuses to shower cause he KNOWS I hate his BO, he on purposefully brings his armpits to my nose for me to smell his nasty BO and some other stuff but those are the big ones. I fucking hate it and I tell him as such but he always says stuff like \"can't take a joke sis?\" \"get over yourself\" or \"Your not in charge of me.\"\n\nHes disgusting and I hate being around him, he recently did something tho that I am even shocked by. He left a towel in the middle of my room..........BUT the towel had literal shit on it. I nearly threw up and I threw the whole towel away. I opened up a window in my room and smell is gone but thats just too far.\n\nI went to confront him about this and all he could fucking do was laugh. (this is where I maybe the ass) I lost it and said \"You are a disgusting fucking animal, can you not be a fucking dickhead for 1 day? Holy shit\" I then slammed the door to his room. I didn't know but he was on the phone with mom and when she came home she took away his gaming consoles for a week for bothering me and I got 2 weeks without my phone cause I caused the fight. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA,\n\nTalk to your parents about this. And let him know that next time he leaves a towel like that in your room it will get rubbed  all over his gaming console and controllers.\nSee if he  still believes it to be funny then. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults. \n\nMy new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.\n\nI said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on. \n\nIt seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment. \n\nI also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax. \n\nBut my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house. \n\nAITA for saying no to the music lessons? ######","completion":" NTA,\n\nParents will probably be uncomfortable with it too, imagine turning up to your 7 year olds music teachers house to find a bunch of other people roaming around, it would be strange and unprofessional.\n\nRoommate is better going to the students houses to teach. ######"}
{"prompt":"my wife has been avoiding me for a couple months now. I thought it was stress. I lost my job, and was fully at home for nearly 3 weeks, and she started working more. Thing is, she would be 2-3 hours late coming home from work. One night, she didnt come home at all. I felt bad for her working so hard, so I made everything here as easy as possible while I looked for a new job. I ended up getting a new job fast enough that we didnt miss a paycheck, but she was still so distant, and still working extra. on my second day of work at the new job, she left for an errand the moment I got home. We have 2 daughters (1 and 2 1\/2), so I went to get them from a nap, only to see my wifes ipad open, and receiving messages. some about me, but mostly about the guy shes been seeing for the last 2 weeks. I didnt mean to see them, but I couldnt look away, and she is furious at me for seeing them. I was served divorce papers yesterday, and have been getting messages from her friends saying that im the worst for reading those. Im thinking that if I hadnt seen them, I never would have known about the other guy, and her plan to take the kids to him. so, AITAH for reading my wifes messages? ######","completion":" NTA, your wife is a cheater, a disloyal coward. Just get your ducks in a row for the legal proceedings and be done with her ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her. \n\nI got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######","completion":" NTA, your wedding therefore it’s your decision. I understand that sisters are supposed to be MOH, but I’m sure there are exceptions for asshole sisters such as yours. Don’t feel bad, especially since you said she wasn’t very involved anyways and was sulking about the situation throughout the entire wedding process. ######"}
{"prompt":"My step mom has been my step mom since I’ve been 5. We have a decent relationship but it’s been rocky as of lately. I caught her purging after meals for the last few months. I don’t know if it began during quarantine or I just noticed because I’m always home. My step mom has always been critical of my weight and my half sisters. She criticized us for years, but since I was in sports and stuff I was always fit, I didn’t receive it as bad as my sisters. Last night, she screeched at my sister for eating past 8pm and called her fat and that she will never amount to anything because of her lack of “self control.” She started attacking me too because I defended my sister and called me piece of shit and that I looked like a man. I ended saying that she also doesn’t have self control because if she did, she wouldn’t need to throw up after she eats. That caused a big fight between us and my dad got involved and well, I’m in big shit now. ######","completion":" NTA, your step-mom has her own mental health issues going on right now and it is manifesting as her trying to control everyones weight around her. It is her own food insecurities peeking out from behind the curtain. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a guy. Me and my sister still live with our parents. My sister has a girlfriend. I woke at a store that sells a lot of clothes. I get really nice discounts on stuff I buy there. My sister's girlfriend asked me if I could buy a bra for her from there, and then she'd pay me back. Its a specific and fairly expensive kind of bra. She'd save money this way. I said sure and did it. Didn't think much of it.\n\n\nAfter I mentioned buying it to my sister, she got very angry at me. Saying its super innapropriate and pervy. She even asked me if I was attracted to her girlfriend (I'm not). She even told me that if her gf ever wore it during sexy time it'd kill the mood since she'd think about me. Our mom is on my sister's side. My girlfriend and all my female friends said I did nothing wrong and my sister is overreacting. I really didn't have bad intentions. ######","completion":" NTA, your sister seems to have insecurities about her relationship and is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. \n\nYou did her gf a favour, which was a nice thing for you to do. (And bras are *expensive* so I understand her gf’s idea of asking you, she shouldn’t have to run it by your sister either - it’s just clothing). ######"}
{"prompt":"\n(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, but english is not my mother tongue)\n\nSo... Our new neighbors that are from China have just moved to the flat in front of us and invited my family and I to have a wonderful dinner to get acquaintance and to eat some of their traditional food after my dad gave them a fruit basket as a “welcome-gift” with our local fruits... My sister didn’t went because “she doesn’t like asians, and its because of them that we have pollution, illnesses, and overpopulation”, and the typical racist speech of a closed minded person... once we ate dinner and had a good time, they gave us a dish called “mantou” with different shapes and forms... i recall one of them was with the shape of a flower and a piggy...! And also some Sake.... My mom, dad and I were so eager and happy to eat them the morning after and to share it with my sister...and my grandparents that were gonna visit us the day after...\n\nOnce we got home and told her what they gave us... She proceed to DROP THE DISHES AND THE DRINK IN THE TRASH...! Saying “oh. I dont want any of those things here in the house”, and a bunch of racial slurs i don’t wanna mention here... i got so mad and called her an entitled racist bitch. How dare she do that to people who she doesn’t even know and that’s giving us food as a gift...! Later my mom heard that and started to takes sides with my sister, that I shouldn’t have called her that and that “she haves her reasons”. We had a big argument after that and told me to “apologize” to my sister for what i said. But i told my mom that i am not apologizing until my sister personally apologized to our neighbors explaining what she did. Then my mom told me that i am a selfish brother, that i don’t care about my sisters feelings... so AITA?\n\nEdit: no... we didn’t had this dinner meanwhile the  pand. emic happens, this dinner happened a month ago. While here in my country (ecuador) we were with zero cases of it.!! (Just explaining) ######","completion":" NTA, your sister is racist and it sounds like she’s pretty set in her thinking. Because of that, I don’t think it’s right that she apologizes to your neighbors. Yes, she was extremely racist, but your neighbors just had a lovely meal with you and your parents. Putting your sister on their doorstep is a good way to make sure that never happens again, and it also puts their safety at risk since they’re on the defensive. Also, talk to your mother and try to have them see why they shouldn’t allow your sister to be racist in their home. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered. \n\nSo AITA for not being more hospitable? ######","completion":" NTA, your SIL needs and deserves comfort more I'd say. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.\n\nMy wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.\n\nMy wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.\n\nI am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota. \n\nShe says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, your right in she has no interest of moving out ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.\nOf course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.\nA week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.\nThat is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use. \nI'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!\nNow they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, your partners behaviour is ungrateful and seems fishy to me ######"}
{"prompt":"   I(16F) live with my parents and 11 siblings. I'm the 4th kid, and the ages range from 20 to 1. We live in a 4 bedroom house, but it is so cramped with everyone in bunks and no privacy. My parents also put most of the responsibility of the younger kids on us while they lay down and watch TV. True, they can have their breaks but they take them so often that I don't really get to be a teenager. \n   Last night, after my mom told me to but J+A(3) to bed, I told her to do it herself as I need to study. She said that it is my responsibility as an older child. I lost my temper and told her that she can't take care of her 12 kids as it is, and that she should give up her dream of 15 children because she’s depriving the younger ones of a better life. AITA?\nTL;DR My mom has 12 kids and wants 15, and I lost my temper and said that she shouldn’t have any more because she can’t take care of all of them as it is. ######","completion":" NTA, your parents want 15 kids in a 4 bedroom house? What the fuck? ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was a baby my grandmother used to hand sew me a birthday dress every year, and a matching one for my favourite doll. The dresses were beautifully smocked and must have taken weeks to sew. It was a bit of a tradition. I’ve been keeping these dresses (left with my mother in my childhood home) for the last 30 odd years thinking that one day I’ll pass them down to my own daughter. Well today is my nieces first birthday and my mom sends me a picture of niece in my dress that I was keeping. I’m fuming! My mom doesn’t think it’s a big deal and refuses to apologise for giving it to her. She says she’ll get the dress back when my niece outgrows it. But I can’t help think that the dress will be torn or stained , and also it’s my dress that I’ve been keeping for my own child and I don’t want my niece to wear it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, your mum should have asked - it's your property! Can you explain the situation to your niece's parents? If they're reasonable people then they will understand the sentimentality behind the dress. In the meantime, get the rest of the dresses from your mum's house before she can give any more away! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17f) have a variety of socks. They range from the regular knee high patterned ones, to knit socks, to old fashioned lace ones. I don’t collect them or anything, I just like having different kinds of socks. I live with my dad (56m), and he knows that I buy socks fairly regularly. He doesn’t have an issue with it.\n\nSince the world went to shit, I’ve been stuck at my mom’s (52f). The other day, I was on amazon, and I got recommended these really nice looking socks, with little stars sewn on them, and lace along the top. I ordered them (with my own money) and they got here yesterday. \n\nMy mom found the box, and opened it before I even knew it arrived. She found them, and then came into my room and started screaming at me. She told me that I shouldn’t be buying stuff to wear during sex or something, and I was confused. Apparently the socks were actually stockings, which isn’t sexual in any way in my opinion, but my mom thought otherwise. \n\nShe told me I was being a slut for buying these things, and told me that she was going to look for any more “slutty clothing”, and proceeded to go through my clothes, throwing anything she deemed sexual out. This resulted in most of my clothing. \n\nMy crop tops, shorts, socks with any sort of lace on them, and underwear that wasn’t boy cut got thrown out, leaving me with very little clothing left. I called my dad and told him about it, Mom overheard and told me it was my fault for buying “sexy socks.”\n\nAITA for buying “sexy socks”? ######","completion":" NTA, your mum has some issues. If these are all clothes you have bought with your own money she has no business throwing them out ######"}
{"prompt":"Follow up on my previous post[here](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/AmItheAsshole\/comments\/di82hm\/aita_told_moms_boyfriend_was_being_a_cnt\/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)\n\nBasically I (19m) got into a fight with my mums boyfriend after he berated me for disrespecting my mother for there being clothes pegs on the ground and it ended with him calling me a little asshole and me saying he’s being a c*nt. Realising this blowup would wreck my mums relationship I tried to apologise twice, one of those times in front of my mum to prove I was being sincere.\n\nHe broke up with my mother for the second time in a month over this and said they could get back together if she kicks me out of the house immediately. She called up her family and caused all this drama to try and kick me out and although most were sympathetic they said I should leave. So after my semester at uni finished last year I have left home and am living with a flat mate and my sister who’s relationship with my mum is also strained.\n\nMy mother never got together with her boyfriend and has met a new guy who is amazing and hates the last boyfriend for what he did. \n\nMy mum has pretended like she never kicked me out and we still see each other every week for dinner. She never apologised for choosing her boyfriend over me and it’s always bugged me knowing she doesn’t have my back. My relationship with her side of the family is pretty strained now and although I love my mum and tried to work things out with her it’s been 6 months since I left home and I still kind of resent her.\n\nWIBTA if I cut her off? ######","completion":" Nta, your mother is a grown woman and she made her choice and she was not in a abusive relationship she kick u out to be in one.\nI got a shity mom a junkie mom who smoked all my savings when I was 14 when I was on the run last year u know who got my back my mom \nFor all her faults an pain she caused she got my back and I'm on low contact with her compared to your mom she is mother of the year. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger sister is expecting a baby girl despite the fact she and her husband have struggled with finances since 2009, when they got married. Anyway, she texted me saying that she needed a loan of $200 for something related to the unborn baby girl, and I, being a teacher on summer vacation, cannot afford that. My boyfriend is a surgeon, but I don't want to rely on him financially for something like this. \n\nWhen I turned her down, she got really mad and was like \"Okay, so you don't care about your niece then. I guess you do really want us to put her up for adoption.\" I was like \"Well...sorry, but I have to look out for myself first.\" She hung up on me angrily, and then after that, my mom and siblings all got mad at me. \n\nI questioned why THEY didn't help her out financially, and they said \n\"Oh we contributed too, and we thought you'd be willing to help them out.\" Like do they not understand I am a TEACHER? I don't make that much and just spent a ton of money on gifts for my boyfriend's daughter. AITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA, your money your choice in this situation. You can't afford to which is understandable and it's not like you don't want to have a niece you just can't afford it. Unless she has done something of equal contribution and a similar situation towards you then I'mma gonna go with n.t.a. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 15f. My mom is 35f. Before the pandemic started, my mom’s friend and her two kids (friend is 36f, kids are 12f and 14f) came to stay with us, and are still here.\n\nThe friend’s kids are annoying, which I can deal with, it’s not an issue. But they’re also using my hygienic things, like my razor, my special soaps\/hair products that I bought for my hair and put my name on. They’ve also been drinking after me. And they got into my prescribed pain killers that I got last week, my iron supplements, my last pack of birth control, and the stash of snacks I keep in my false bottom drawer in my room. They are also harassing my cat and tearing tufts of his fur out. I told my mom about this, she didn’t seem to care.\n\nMy mom’s friend, their mom, has also been an issue. She’s been smoking weed in the basement, which wouldn’t be an issue except she smokes enough of it to cause the entire house to smell like it, and causes me not to be able to breathe. Mom’s friend goes out partying, gets drunk, and hangs out with my mom in her room pretty much 24\/7. I’ve been sick and unable to keep food down this week, and I’ve been ignored by my mom because she’s hanging out with her friend. Mom’s friend is also helping her kids in eating pretty much everything in the fridge before I get a chance to get to it.\n\nI told my mom we needed to have a serious talk yesterday, and made her sit down and talk to me. I told her what her friend’s kids were doing, and then I straight up told her that her friend was causing my legitimate distress because apparently her presence was enough to make my mom stop acknowledging my existence. My mom told me that I didn’t need to have this conversation with her, and that I was being a rude spoiled brat. She’s gone back to ignoring me, and I am still sick. AITA for telling my mom our guests are causing me problems? ######","completion":" NTA, your mom needs to understand where her priorities are... may I suggest buying a lock for your bedroom, and stashing everything you dont want anyone else using, it might be a temporary fix :) ######"}
{"prompt":"I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.\n\nSo around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints. \n\nAnyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg. \n\nHalfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?\n\nTL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######","completion":" NTA, your mom is the AH. If she can’t handle taking care of a puppy and chasing it sometimes, you guys shouldn’t have a puppy. There’s no way you or your sister should need to chase down the dog, especially if you’re in pain like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\n(I was \\~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \\~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me \"a little bit of it\". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ######","completion":" NTA, your lawsuit, your money plus she promised to give it to you ######"}
{"prompt":"So it’s all pretty stupid but I thought I’d make a post since my family seems to wanna make it a big deal. Before the virus that shall not be named shut down everything I had two beautiful twin girls. The names I picked out I kept a secret until I announced their birth + gender. Both names are from characters I love and hold near and dear. The names are Azula (Avatar the last air bender) and Eclipsa (Star vs the forces of evil). I made a post about it and everything seemed fine until I got a message in the family group chat. My mother was livid that I’d name my girls after two villains whose names won’t “represent my daughters well” (I found out my brother told her who they were names after.) I told her that the names don’t define who they are. She didn’t respond but I come to find a long Facebook post about how I “doomed” my “sweet little angles” and how names have weight and will effect how they turn out. All the comments are relatives agreeing with her and how “people these days will name their kids anything”. I didn’t name my kids hotdog and cheese like I don’t get what’s so bad. Anyways I’ve just been getting a lot of “hate” if you will from my family. It’s making me genuinely wonder AITA for naming my kids after  two “villains” ######","completion":" NTA, your kids names wont effect how they turn out as human beings. If you raise them right, they will become good people. ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M)\nWe have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my.\" Social life\" \nEvery since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis  with his friends online.\n\nTwo days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that \"there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym\"\n\nSo today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said \"don't expect me to love you after this.\nAITA  here? Really? ######","completion":" NTA, your husband is controlling. It is not normal for a partner to forbid you going out without them. This is alienating behaviour (keeping you aware from friends) and is a sign of abuse. I hope someone else here can comment with resources to help you. Please keep yourself and your children safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory. \n\nMy brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.\n\nSo, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment\/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.\n\nMy husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be \"ashamed of myself\" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes. \n\nSo AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how \"ungrateful\" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :\/ ######","completion":" NTA, your husband is being an A though. Understandable if the shoes were the right size and you just weren’t using them or if you hadn’t asked to get them changed. That’s now impossible so what else is there to do with them? Make sure your husband doesn’t see a penny of that cash if that’s how he feels about it ######"}
{"prompt":"Edit: he also says he feels better and has more energy. I forgot to add this part.\n\nEdit2: I'm his primary caretaker as well. I didn't think it important to mention earlier but he has dementia and does revert back to child like behavior at times.\n\nMy dad is 77 and has a whole slew of health problems. A good chunk of them relating to his poor diet. He primarily eats fast food and rarely eats vegetables. Every meal has to have meat in order for him to consider it a \"real meal\". He's allowed me to do grocery shopping for him and I've been buying him veggie nuggets, burgers, pork, etc. (Ex: morning star buffalo chik'n patties). He can't taste the difference and enjoys what I make him. I also blend a ton of veggies into pasta sauce and he can't tell he's eating healthier food. It's not entirely vegetarian though. When he wants to order out, I get him what he wants. I only give him veggie food when I'm cooking.\n\nHis recent dr appointments and blood tests have shown improvement in his health. My brother tells me I shouldn't do that and just let him eat what he wants, even if it's making him sick.\n\nAITA for slipping my dad healthier alternatives and getting more veggies in his system? ######","completion":" NTA, your good for helping your father and making his last bit of time on earth more comfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I 27(M) have been dating my girlfriend 24(F) for six months. I love wearing sweatpants when ever I can my favorite ones are my grey ones. Lately she started to ask me to change to a different color which I would brush off. Well yesterday she told me it was inappropriate to wear them outside the house. Now here where I might be the ass I told her since we were talking about things that bother us I told her not wearing a bra bothered me. She told me that that’s not the same and that it was The responsibility of men to not stare at her. I replied with it not my responsibility if woman want to stare at me. She got mad and left. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, your girl has a nasty case of double standard. Continue wearing your grey sweatpants I guarantee you your average woman on the street isn't checking your package. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######","completion":" NTA, your GF should get over herself. It's not like you pick your nose during meals, you are just drinking fuckn milk. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I made [this post](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/AmItheAsshole\/comments\/gw4w78\/aita_for_blocking_my_dads_number_refusing_to\/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf) in here earlier, my cousin - who idolizes my dad - found it, asked if it was mine, and so I admitted to it. Which then led to him calling me an asshole and bringing up the time I tweeted a pic as a joke that ended up going viral.\n\nIt was a college grad pic, with me holding up a sign that said, “thanks mom you made this possible 2019,” and I captioned the tweet to say “~controversial grad pics to throw shade at my married, welder dad who said if I ‘really needed to go to college’ my single mom could pay for it~” and it went viral and was seen by a million and a half people.\n\nI posted it in November and my dad never said anything about it, but my cousin just told me he told my dad when it happened and he was upset. But also go read through the other post because I think that will give you a better idea about what kind of person my dad is. ######","completion":" NTA, your father is an absolute child. What you posted wasn't meant to poke jabs at him purposefully, he needs to take a joke. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.\n\nFast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.\n     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything. \n\nWhen she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing. \n\nEver since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.\n\nMy other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA, your father already made his decision. Tell the folks harassing you that you are trying to respect the last wishes of the deceased and they can pound sand. ######"}
{"prompt":"I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bQ0fTCf) ######","completion":" NTA, your dad's the biggest asshole of all. ######"}
{"prompt":"A week ago my bf and I made plans to visit my dad and his wife. My dad lives near one of my favorite restaurants, and I was hungry for one of their dishes for months. I told my dad that we'd love to have dinner, but I really wanted take out. I'd pay for it myself. I asked if he was OK with that. He was. I asked him to tell my stepmom to not cook for me and my bf.\n\nBecause I have autism i don't like plans changing. My dad asked if I wouldn't rather have a home cooked meal since his wife was cooking anyway. I told him again I'd prefer take out if that's okay. My bf is fine with whatever. But please do not cook for me.\n\nToday I came in to the kitchen, and my stepmom proudly declared she was going to try to make my favorite dish... I love her, but the woman just isn't a great cook so I knew it wouldn't be very good, and again, I really don't do well with sudden changes.\nApparently my dad didn't tell her I wanted take out. She said it was fine, she wanted to cook anyway and I had already ordered food.\n\nNow I just feel bad. She went out of her way to find the recipe of my favorite dish, get the right ingredients and cook it for me and my bf. I know she knows about my autism, and that she understands. But I just felt really crappy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, your dad is the AH here. Maybe next time communicate directly with your stepmom instead of going through your dad if you think he might not relay a message correctly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16M) and my brother (12M) live with joint custody between my mom (51F) and dad (53M). \n\nMy brother used to have a friend (we’ll call him A) in elementary school. They were never super close and I have never liked A because he is really whiny and spoiled because his parents are very rich. A has a college age brother named N but we never really talk because we don’t have a lot to talk about and he is not home a ton. \n\nA year or two ago my brother stopped hanging out with A because of aforementioned reasons. By this time the dad of A (AD) and my dad had become friends. My brother never formally broke off his friendship with A in the interest of maintaining good will. \n\nUnfortunately, A can’t take a hint. My brother has refused to hang out countless times but A still thinks they are on good terms. \n\nBetween this and my dads friendship with AD we go over there sometimes \n\nI do not enjoy being with A’s family because I don’t have any friends over there &amp; A acts bratty and spoiled a lot. My brother does not enjoy it either. \n\nAD and my dad have talked about going camping this summer a lot but when I asked my dad he had always dismissed it as speculation. My dad knows very well that me and my brother do not want to go camping with A. We told him many times over the months but he has not listened. \n\nTonight my dad told us that he KNEW that we didn’t want to go camping with A’s family but we are going anyway for 4 days. Me and my brother put our feet down between disdain for A and concern for getting COVID (my dad has not been taking COVID-19 as seriously as we would like). \n\nThis is not something me and my brother have ever done so adamantly before and we are very serious about it. \n\nMy dad passive aggressively uninvited us and called us spoiled, bratty, and disrespectful. I think the real issue here is how he ignored our wishes for months and essentially chose AD over us. \n\nSo AITA for not just going or was it the right thing to tell our dad no? ######","completion":" NTA, your dad is basically forcing you to go camping for *his* friend. Also good job on taking Covid-19 seriously, I wish you the best of luck ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm one of 6 product managers at a 300 person Silicon Valley tech company, and am the only one on the team with an engineering education (masters and undergrad in CEng). The others have degrees in business or the humanities.\n\nEveryone in my office is currently working remotely. I was one of the last people to log into the morning stand-up video call today and for the first time since the remote work policy was put in effect, I was taking the call from my desk. (Usually I do my meetings from the kitchen where I can spread my work out at the much larger dining table).\n\nMy desk is tiny and crammed into my condo's little \"den\". Displayed directly behind me and right over my shoulder are my 2 engineering degrees and a few other framed design awards and certificates. I don't want to show a screenshot of the wall for privacy reasons, [but here's a diagram I painted of what they would have seen on their screens](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/O8OVfLv.png).\n\nAfter saying our good mornings, one of my PM coworkers loudly said \"WoOoOoOoOh, *somebody* is trying to show off all their big fancy credentials\". Everybody chuckled, so I just laughed along with them and continued with the meeting. Later on though after I had made some input to the ongoing discussion topic, he said again \"good point there from the man with *all the fancy degrees to show us*\".\n\nI want to believe this was a joke, but I'm nervously second guessing myself now and I feel like I might have come off as a pompous ass? Does having them all displayed directly behind me genuinely make me look like a showoff? That's totally not what I was going for. I mean, I didn't bring them to the my office for that reason. Tbh, I didn't even register that they were there.\n\nI don't want to show them off again if it makes me look like a braggart, but I don't want to take them down if I don't need to because I'll look like I fell to peer pressure. I'll probably just end up using the kitchen table from now on. \n\nThoughts? ######","completion":" NTA, your coworker sounds like an insufferable ass and I would bet everyone else on the call thought so, too. ######"}
{"prompt":"alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.\n\nIn walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.\n\nI asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.\n\nWell, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.\n\nI told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.\n\nin my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).\n\nI even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50\/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.\n\nBut am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ######","completion":" NTA, your comic and money so you make the decisions ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year my parents lost almost everything they had, they literally had no money to buy food. They were always nice to me and they paid for my college so I thought it was kind of my duty to support them untill they become financially independent again\nI (28m) am making 120k a year, but still since we we were living in the same city I decided to move in with my parents to not to waste money on rent while I help them financially. My dad got his business again, so far it is going well even though there almost no profits. I am hoping that it will soon be profitable. \nMy brother (32m)also lives with my parents and he is a total failure, he has never had a job. He only had a few failed businesses (my parent gave him the money to start the business). For the last 1 year I have been the sole source of income for the family, I have been paying for the food, utilites and all the other costs. Since my brother has never had a job, he cant get a job right now and my parents no longer have the money to give him to start another failed business, he has been unemployed. And he has ego problem, he cant go work minimum wage jobs. I recently learned that my brother has been taking money from my parents (the money I give them) and spending on going out with his friends. When I learned it I told my parents that he should not get any money, and he should not even eat the food I buy untill he gets a job on his own, even if it is a minimum wage job. My parents told me that I was overreacting and my brother called me the AH. Am I really the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA, your brother sounds like an irresponsible idiot. You should sending money to your parents if your brother is going to spend it and maybe send them groceries directly (only if you want to). ######"}
{"prompt":"So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.\n\nIt’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.\n\nAnyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######","completion":" NTA, your brother isn’t necessarily being an asshole but he might start being one when he realises he’s not gonna get what he wants, push back and don’t let him win. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m currently on my period and have some bad cramps today. My whole body is aching and I’m feeling very low energy. \n\nI’m nearly running out of pads so I kindly asked my bf if he could go down to the local store to get me some pads, chamomile tea and painkillers. He started huffing and puffing and said he wouldn’t get “that stuff” for me. I asked him why and he said it’s too embarrassing. \n\nI didn’t have the energy to argue so I texted my dad and asked him if he could “*that stuff*” for me. He lives nearby and is currently WFH (he was on his lunch break). Fortunately he arrived within 15 minutes and got me everything I needed and then some. \n\nMy BF got so pissed. He said that just because he refused, it doesn’t mean that I should go running to my dad. I asked him why that’s an issue and he didn’t fully explain himself. He just said that it’s HIS job to get me stuff like that which makes no sense because I asked him and he refused. \n\nHe was nagging the whole time and I had no patience for that. He continued being moody and said that it was disrespectful of me. ######","completion":" NTA, your boyfriend probably feels ashamed of himself after your dad showed him how a decent person behaves, and he should be. Why are you wasting your time with this asshole? ######"}
{"prompt":"Some back story. When he and I first got together up until merely a couple of months ago (two months max) she would call him begging him to take her back. They have a child, and in the past she's kept the child from him until recently, because she has no place to live. I've stayed insulted by her actions and trespasses against our relationship, my boyfriend, and even their child from keeping him away from his father.\n\nNow the child has a routine, rules, and he knows what to expect day to day. He's very young and misses his mom all the time. My boyfriend messaged her asking her to contact him more, weeks would go by without a call or anything. When she did call, he'd wake up at night screaming, crying, or running to the front door. So he asked her to call and visit more often, which had helped him. \n\nBut now, due to current worldwide circumstances, she doesn't really have a lot of places to take him. However, it makes me very uncomfortable having her at our house. She corners him into discussions about their previous relationship, asking him what she did wrong, etc. I'm insulted that he would allow her to go that far. \n\nShe wants to spend time with him in our home. When my boyfriend said it wasn't okay she began to cry, which I see as a guilt trip. My boyfriend makes arguments to me about why she should be able to stay.\n\nAITA for taking offense to all of this? To both of them; her for weaseling in, and him for allowing her to go so far? Am I justified in my view, or am I not seeing this clearly? \n\nThanks, reddit. ######","completion":" NTA, your BF and his ex need to get a proper custody agreement in place, and the child needs to be listened to very carefully through that process. His ex should not be living with you, frankly I think you're a hell of a person to be able to put up with it. It's a very difficult position for you. I hope your BF realises that while his relationship with his child is obviously the most important relationship in his life, some sort of compromise has to be made for his relationship with you, and the rest of his life. Sacrificing everything else might seem noble, but is very unhealthy and can lead to resentment which will cause serious problems in the future. This is a tough situation for all involved, I really hope it settles down and ends with happiness for everyone and most importantly, stability for the child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my girlfriend tell each other we love the other and have been dating for a year. We got together our senior year of high school.\n\nThe first time I told her I love her while she was naked she got upset. We had told each other we love the other many times before but this was the first time I told her I love her while she was naked. She said to not tell her that when she is naked because it isn't genuine love when she is naked, she said the emotion I feel when I see her naked is lust. I tell her I always feel love for her but I am obviously more attracted to her when she is naked. I stopped saying it when she was nude because she would not like it and would repeat those reasons.\n\nI accidentally let an I love her slip when she was naked and she got really upset saying I'm confusing love for lust. Whenver I say it while she is clothed she says it back to me happily. ######","completion":" NTA, you’ve already told her you love her when she was clothed, so it should be clear that it’s genuine. ######"}
{"prompt":"So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.\n\nSo at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?\n\nBut she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)\n\nShe wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.\n\nThis time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you’re the age that you start to want your own space, and you can understand why she wants to be with you, but you also want to set healthy boundaries ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking. \n\nFor years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he \"didn't actually have a problem \". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out. \n\nAbout three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids. \n\nHe started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol. \n\nI told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded \"Good. I want you to feel the way I do.\"\n\nI don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ######","completion":" NTA, you’re in a very shitty situation and you have every right to be concerned. \n\nI recommend getting you and your children somewhere safer. He sounds emotionally unstable and your children deserve to be raised in a healthy environment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######","completion":" NTA, you’re handling this well, your mom’s a whole different story. Of COURSE it’s normal to visit her house with parents present before marriage?? She’s acting like you’re planning orgies over there. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 19 year old daughter rescued a stray cat outside that has been following her around the house from the outside. The little bastard had been jumping on the roof and running around on the extension to try and meow for attention from her because she kept feeding it bacon. \n\nThis was a coupe months ago. She took the cat to the vet and it was given anti flea anti fungal and anti worm and all the rest of it treatments including being neutered which the darling girl of mine stuck the cost of onto daddy’s debit card because of course she did.\n\nImagine my surprise when she returned from the vet and announced she was keeping the bloody thing.\n\nNow I hate little animals, I’m deeply allergic to cats and in general I’m just not a cat bloke.\n\nIt roams around the house like it owns the gaff and it bloody pisses against everything it takes a liking to but my wife and girl are absolutely enthralled with it and it’s very very content to steal the sofas to scratch and sleep on.\n\nIt keeps trying to rub up against me and I refuse to let it touch me. I’ve had to ask the pharmacist to give me fexofenadine which is the only thing stopping me from scratching my eyeballs out.\n\nMy wife actually got into a mardy with me and snapped at me cuz I refused to stroke the cat and she called me a miserable bastard. My daughter joined in and said the cat only wants to be friends but frankly I don’t care and I don’t want to be friends. \n\nAnyway my darling wife told my darling mother and now she keeps bringing it up everytime she calls me calling me a misery guts. \n\nAm I the arsehole or are they for trying to force me to stroke the cat? ######","completion":" NTA, you’re allergic. But it’s not the cat’s fault, you don’t need to be mean or aggressive to it, just stay away from it. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start I posed a story about this same aunt before so I'll give a quick summary and move on to the issue at hand.  Long story short my aunt,uncle, and cousin lost their house to a fire and moved in with me for a while.  My aunt accused me of snooping in her things when all I did was accidentally knock it over and tried telling me I couldn't go into the basement of my home, so I told her it was my house and I could go in the basement if I wanted and if she doesn't like it then leave.  Now to the problem at hand. My aunt and uncle are getting evicted from there place because 1 it's very dirty, 2 the smell is just horrible they don't clean the litter boxs,my aunt smokes at least 2 packs a day, and the list goes on.  They called me earlier and asked me if they can move in with me and I said no.  My wife is 2 months pregnant and I'm ahasmaic so neither of us should be around smoke.  And I forgot to mention my aunt smoked in my house after I asked her to the first time she was with me.  I told her no because of how she treated me before and thought she could do whatever she wanted to.  My aunt called me an ungrateful spoiled brat and said I had to let them stay or they would be homeless.  I snapped and told her that it's not my problem you smoke like a pig or the fact you can't get your fucking lazy ass up to clean the litter boxes or even clean the house.   All this is your problem not mine so be an adult for once and don't bug me again.  I might have gone overboard but my aunt literally relays on others and refuses to work and she did this herself not me.  So was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, you've learnt your lesson.  Once bitten, twice shy!  I'd suggest any family member attempts to persuade you to take them in, you tell them that you'll tell your aunt they will accommodate them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for obvious reasons. \n\nSo, I was a sperm donor, and now 20 years later, someone reached out and told me that I'm their father, and they want to be in contact with me.\nI said no, I thought that was it. \n\nBut she keeps contacting me, she really wants to be in contact with me, get to know her father, etc. \n\nI think I said no about 7 or 8 times now.\n\nMy wife thinks I'm being mean because she clearly wont stop asking, so this must be really important to her.\n\nThe thing is... as mean and rude as this sounds... I just dont care about this girl, I dont see her as my daughter, I dont want to be her father. And as crude as this sounds... I didn't jizz in a bottle to become a father (bit without responsiblity) so that the child turns up later and *then* I'll be a dad, I did it to make money. I knew that the possibility for some kid turning up at my doorstep was there, but I just thought I could say no and that's it. \n\nMy Wife thinks I'm TA because this girl clearly wants a father, or atleast to know me, she says I should atleast meet up with her.\n\nI would be okay with that after she asked a second time or something, but she asked 8 times now, im afraid that if I say yes, then this girl will see something in that, that is just not there, because the reality is, I just dont care about her, she's a stranger to me.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you're not her father, you're just a sperm donor. I get that she wants to meet you, but I think that if it'll happen she would get her hopes up and wouldn't leave you alone. She should respect your decision and let go. ######"}
{"prompt":"For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.\n\nThis summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food\/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house. \n\nMy internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out. \n\nToday my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said \"enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us\" and hung up. \n\nAITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######","completion":" NTA, you're not a 10 year old, but it seems like your Dad is behaving like one.  \n\nYou've already made a major effort to come look at their house as a favor to them, I think he needs to cut you some slack.  I'm in my mid 50s not exceptionally fit (not unfit, either), and as much as I wouldn't enjoy a 16 hour trip, my wife and I could handle it.  Get a room on the way back, or sleep in the car.  Your party, your cleanup. ######"}
{"prompt":"So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend. \n\nShe lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him. \n\nMy friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content. \n\nI told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated. \n\nMy own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ######","completion":" Nta, you're friends with him too. If I was in his shoes that's exactly what I'd want you to do. What's the alternative? He finds out and then finds out you knew and didn't do anything? Id feel like I'd lost friends on top of SO. ######"}
{"prompt":"We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap. \n\nMy bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary. \n\nNow the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save. \n\nThis is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing\/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on. \n\nAITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings? \n\nTL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ######","completion":" NTA, you're budgeting and sticking to it, that's a good thing. If you were saying you were out of money so your BF would pay for things then you'd be an asshole, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.\n\nSo I’m just wondering, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you're allowed to set personal boundaries. He's the only one in the wrong here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite. \n\nMy sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.\n\nGrowing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone. \n\nI understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you're allowed to not want kids for whatever reason(as long as you're up front about not wanting kids with any potential partners).\n\nThat said, seek counciling because you have serious attachment issues to work through. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 6 year old yorkiepoo who is, in my opinion, the cutest thing in the world. I used to only dress him for weather, like a jacket and boots if it was cold and a thunder shirt to help him with anxiety during storms, but I noticed that he seemed to really like the clothes I put on him. He would wag his tail and get excited when I took them out and he would pull away when I tried to take his coat off, so I started dressing him in little outfits pretty often. If he cried or seemed upset about it I wouldn't, but he seems to like it some days and other days he seems pretty apathetic and unbothered by it, and I think it's cute. He even waits by his basket of clothes in the morning for me to pick out an outfit for him.\n\nMy partner doesn't like that I dress the dog up. He thinks it makes me look like a \"crazy dog person\" and like \"one of those high maintenance people who treat their dogs like accessories.\" People around town also know that we are partners, so my partner worries that people will think this about them by association. My partner told me I need to stop dressing my dog up but I said no. I think my partner is overreacting and it isn't fair to make this demand. AITA for continuing to dress up the dog even if my partner told me not to? ######","completion":" NTA, you would be the AH if your dog didn’t like it but it sounds like he actually does. I do kind of understand where your boyfriend comes from with saying that people will judge the both of you for it, because there are many people out there who dislike the thought of dressing up animals. HOWEVER he might have a problem of being a people pleaser if he lets that paranoia of being judged get in the way of things for him. \n\nI would just tell him that the dog enjoys it, you enjoy it, and that if it’s not physically hurting the dog you don’t see the point in stopping. He is the asshole for deciding instead of communicating rationally to insult you. ######"}
{"prompt":"So every wednesday I Hoover\/wash the floors in my house (I'm 14M)\n\nI like to leave my dog outside while I'm washing the floors because he has a habit of \"leaving feces\" on the wet floor. Dont know why he does it.\n\nWe have a neighbouring family directly across the street from us and the eldest child has autism (not sure what type, but I know he cant bare loud or high pitched noises)\n\nSo today when I let my dog out for approx 20 minutes while I washed the floor, he began to bark after about 10ish minutes, not sure why because he never usually barks but he decided to do that today.\n\nSo i wash the floors, let the dog back in and I began to put the hoover\/mop back in the cupboard when I hear a knock on my door and to my surprise the police are at the door, so I open it and I'm informed that the neighbour called the cops because of my dog, I basically apologise and the cop scolds me because apparently \" I made the neighbours son have a mental breakdown because I refused to take care of my dog\"\n\nAfter the cop leaves I'm just left flabbergasted, because I doubt my dog barking for 10ish minutes forced her son to have a mental breakdown, even though there house is a good 150 feet from our back garden.\n\nSo I'm sat on the sofa thinking if putting my dog outside was an a-hole move or not, but I'll let you judge that.\n\nSo reddit, was I the A-Hole? ######","completion":" NTA, you weren’t being intentionally malicious, and if loud sounds are that big of an issue, I assume the person with autism would have some noise canceling headphones or something. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y\/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek... \n\nwhen this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy... \n\nLast night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister\/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######","completion":" NTA, you were sexually harassed and assaulted. \n\nHe kept badgering you and coercing you multiple times, that is not okay and it’s not your fault. ######"}
{"prompt":"So school is online at the moment so we use zoom. We have to have our webcam and microphone on at all times unless we ask to turn it off. Well I(15M) was in class and I had my door open. Well my sister(20F) walks by my door in  short shorts and a sports bra. She is in her own house no big deal. Well she was in the frame of my camera for a second and my friends being them dmed me on zoom heart eye emojis. So I just played it off like nothing happened well then she walks right into my door frame and was about to ask me a question but I slammed the door on her face and locked it. Once I got out of class I apologized saying I was trying not to get 20 15 years olds to see you dressed like that. She was still really mad at me. ######","completion":" NTA, you were legitimately trying to protect her. That’s being a good sibling ######"}
{"prompt":"This is relatively short, but here goes. I'm on mobile so apologies for the formatting.\n\nSo I (23 genderqueer) have always have a... turbulent relationship with my mother (48f) to say the least. Not that she was outright abusive, but she's definitely dancing on the fringes of Karendom. To give you the scope, she is the type to believe that the cause of economic downfall is solely \"foreigners stealing our jobs\", something I was heavily against. She used to bully me a LOT for my views, even once called me a terrorist sympathiser for not thinking every Muslim person was bad and that hijabs weren't a big deal.\n\nI may be bias in this description, but it's all I can do.\n\nMy relationship with her has semi-cooled in the last month or so, and I went around today to sort out through some old items. I was telling her about my post univeristy plans and maybe applying to study in this abroad program, which had an option to study in Poland, which I said I would not be doing.\n\nMom: Well, why not?\n\nMe: Poland has some really strong anti-LGBT attitudes there. I wouldn't feel safe.\n\nMom: Ugh.\n\nMe: What?\n\nMom: You can't paint every Polish person with the same brush.\n\nMe: I'm not. Their \/governmental policies\/ make me feel unsafe. Besides, you're not exactly one to talk.\n\nMom: What do you mean?\n\nMe: You and Stepdad literally have a history of hating Polish people.\n\nMom: No we don't! We have Polish friends.\n\nMe: You literally both used to blame Polish people for stealing jobs. I remember you guys complaining listening to the news.\n\nMom: You can't bring up stuff like that from the past. I'm not getting into politics.\n\nI felt justified at the time, but I feel bad reflecting on it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you were correct and it doesn't seem you were overly rude or incendiary in the delivery. I wouldn't worry about this small interaction. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I recently moved to America from Ireland in the last few months working in an IT. Now despite always finding Americans who say they're Irish or \"plastic paddies\" as we call them back in Ireland annoying, I knew when people say that in America, they just mean their heritage so \"when in Rome, do as Romans do\". So on occasion, when I tell people i'm Irish, i'd get the odd American saying \"Oh cool i'm Irish too cause my great great great granddaddy was from Ireland\" followed by cringey questions like \"did you know we Irish were slaves too?\" I'd let this slide, smile and nod and just to try to change the subject as soon as possible.\n\nNow in the IT where I work, there's this woman (lets call her Julie) who claims to be Irish because of a grandparent I think and she was basically the plastic paddy stereotype e.g. \"I have an Irish temper\" and \"I had too many Irish car bombs last night\". Once again, I let it go because when in Rome. Then one day during a group meeting, when people asked me what its like in Ireland, she kept interrupting me and basically took over the conversation about what its like in Ireland despite admitting to never being. It got to the point where I was becoming visibly irritated but once again said nothing because when in Rome. Then when she went to the bathroom, people started laughing saying \"you looked so annoyed there\" and I made one comment saying to them \"just because your great great grandfather once had a Guinness in Cork doesn't make you Irish\" which all but one woman laughed at. That one woman turned out to be one of her closest friends. \n\nThen Julie confronted me about mocking her because obviously her friend grassed. I then just told her straight up she's not Irish and to not speak over me when it comes to experiences in Ireland, and to \"stay in your lane\". She then went off in a huff and hasn't talked to me since. AITA? ######","completion":" nta, you were biting your tongue and someone mentioned it to you specifically. She clearly made a boar of herself and you've unintentionally done her a professional favor by letting her know. I'm surprised no one else called her out before she left the room. ######"}
{"prompt":"For reference I’m black and he’s white. \n\nA couple weeks ago I confronted an acquaintance (we’ll call him M) of mine over his constant use of the n word. In the past I would just ignore because he’s a friend of a good friend of mine and we never hung out much, except occasionally with our mutual friend. \n\nHe would say things like “Look what these n****s are doing over there.” and “This n**** is getting on my nerves.” or “My n****!”. \n\nNo one else really had a problem with it and I didn’t want to be that one person who bitches over everything so I would usually just let it slide, even though it really bothered me. \n\nWell, that is, until a couple weeks ago. My friend was throwing a get together and M was there. He was playing a video game against someone and he lost. He yelled out “Fucking n****r!”. I got really mad and screamed : \n\n“You don’t just get to say that. You’ve constantly said that in the past and I’ve never said anything before, but now you’re really pushing it. I don’t know who told you it was okay to say it. Don’t ever fucking say that word again.” \n\nThe room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me weirdly. I got my bag and left to go home. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you were absolutely right in correcting Ms behavior  and I'm honestly shocked nobody else did ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate.\n\nA bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me. \n\nAnyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It.\n\nGetting my ears pierced was also a \"rite of passage\" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced. \n\nI sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for \"going behind her back\" to do a \"feminine rite of passage\" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand. \n\nMaybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you were a kid. Your dad sucks a bit because he knew your mum wanted to experience this milestone with you. Your mum sucks a bit too, since she seems to think she can claim milestones and do absolutely nothing with\/about them. ######"}
{"prompt":"On mobile.\n\nI'm currently breastfeeding my month old daughter. I do it wherever I happen to be in the house but mainly in my chair in the living room. Before my daughter was even born, I had chats with my 6 year old son and almost 4 year old step daughter. I explained what breasts were, what they're for, why daughter would be sucking and eating from them, how it's natural and not shameful, and it isn't something for them to stare at and make a huge deal out of. I had to have several repeat conversations with step daughter because she would stare and seemed to make a big deal of it. I answered all questions she had and I thought all was well.\n\nToday my fiance came to me and told me I need to breastfeed in our bedroom only. I told him it wasn't happening. He then told me his daughter tried breastfeeding on her mother and her mom is now throwing a fit because I do it in front of her daughter. AITA if I refuse to breastfeed in the bedroom? It leaves the kids mostly to their own devices. They wouldn't have someone to talk to, feed them, play with them, supervise them, etc. ######","completion":" NTA, you went about it in a very thoughtful way, and it's not something you should have to hide especially if you wouldn't be able to supervise the other two. Your husband should have backed you up on this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.\n\nAnd one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently. \n\nThis disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ######","completion":" NTA, you tried this ‘solution’ once and it didn’t work. There’s no point in sacrificing the stable life you have and upheaving the kids from their friends and school to give it another try. \n\nYou mentioned your husband has *untreated* depression and anxiety. I think if he wants to be happy he needs to address that in itself. Moving somewhere else won’t change how he feels. He needs to tackle this head on and see a doctor who can help him move forward - possibly with medication and a referral for the appropriate therapy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.\n\nI've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her\/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.\n\nI also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.) \n\nI decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.\n\nShe said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.\n\nShe spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ######","completion":" NTA, you stated a truth that she needs to hear. It's fine to put focus in your relationship but ALL of it is very unhealthy ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-\n\n I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).\n\nSo after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.\n\nNeighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.\n\nI didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.\n\nI responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.\n\nShe then blocked me on FB.\n\nWas I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ######","completion":" NTA, you spent $200 on it! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m cis but some people around me insist I’m trans. AITA for being mad?\n\nI’m a cisgender woman, I’m a lesbian and have a pretty butch look (short hair, tall, broad-shouldered) but I solidly identify as female. Repeatedly throughout my life, I have been told by multiple people that I may be trans or am in denial about it, and it has gotten extremely frustrating for me because it has gotten to a pretty far point where I’m nearly living my life as a male even though I’m not male and I don’t want to be. In my group home when I was around 14 I was called by a male name instead of my female name assigned at birth, and was told by multiple peers (including trans friends) that I was trans like them. I know they didn’t mean any harm, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, because I’m not male and being misgendered all the time made me start questioning my identity even though previously I had no issue with it. I came out to my mom a couple years ago and she told me she thought I was trans and not gay. My mom told me she believes I have the spirit of a boy and I may be confused (she’s both homophobic and transphobic, so I’m not sure why she would care either, but I think it would be easier for her to accept that I am trans rather than having an extremely masculine daughter). \n\nWhen she made a joke about me being male recently, I got angry and told her that she and everyone else who’s said the same thing is misrepresenting who I am. We got in a fight about it and I argued that I want her to stop talking about it and she explained that she believes butch lesbian and trans are the same thing, and I’m just trying to be a boy. I’m not sure if she misunderstands or if she’s saying that to spite me. I’ve been sort of afraid to say anything back to these people because I don’t want to come off as transphobic and I acknowledge I should’ve set boundaries at the beginning.  AITA for getting mad at her comments? ######","completion":" NTA, you shouldn’t have to continue to explain to people why you want to be referred to as your preferred name and gender. It’s a lack of boundaries and lack of respect issue if people who know you continue to misgender you. I can’t imagine why they can’t understand that you’re comfortable with who you are, and in the body you have. ######"}
{"prompt":"So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people. \n\nAnother problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying. \n\nToday I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer. \n\nWhen I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me. \n\nNow she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here. \n\nShe responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc. \n\nOnce again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole. \nThe thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly.  I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law. \n\nI'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language) \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you shouldn't be pressured into letting anyone come within a safe distance of you during a pandemic. Usually you should give your seat to the elderly but in this case if you were sore from a days work you weren't in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"I lost a lot of weight (over 100lbs) in a short period of time, I understand it can take some getting used to, but I'm very tired of the comments. \n\nI am a 24 year old guy, this kind of shit doesn't usually bother me but I can't seem to go a single day at work without some comment about my weight loss. It's been non stop since we reopened after lockdown.\n\nHere are some of the rumours about me: I have cancer, I have aids, I'm on drugs. \n\nI'm tired of it. Yes I'm quite skinny now, but no one was \"concerned\" about me when I was fat! It's all fake, they don't actually care, it's just gossip to them. There are plenty other people at work that are my weight or thinner, and no one cares! \n\nA couple of coworkers seem legitimately concerned, but they were more polite. Even then I still get annoyed because my weight is quite frankly nobody's business but mine. People will bring me food from the vending machines and stare at me when I eat and it makes me nervous. I'm on a strict diet because obviously I have to MAINTAIN my weight loss, I can't just eat chocolate bars. \n\nYesterday one of the more gossipy ones, an older lady in her 50s, approached me in front of everyone telling me she was concerned I wasn't healthy and I wasn't able to do my job. \n\nI'm perfectly able to do my job. I angrily told her it was none of her business and that if there were issues with how I was doing the job someone higher up would tell me. She then asked me straight up if I was using drugs. I yelled at her \"I'm not on drugs and I don't have cancer either. Is a fat person losing weight really this shocking to you?\" I then I turned to everyone watching and said if they make one more comment I'm going to HR. \n\nSince then people have been kind of avoiding me and I wonder if I dealt with it too harshly. My only friend left at work said that people felt a bit uneasy around me and they thought I was overly aggressive. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you should go to HR.  If they were talking about your weight loss with admiration that's one thing, but this sounds a lot more like defamatory accusations.\n\nedit- I'm not going to creep through your post history but based on numerous comments please look out for your health and see a doctor to make sure you're losing weight safely. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m still working (grocery\/retail store) with the whole COVID pandemic going on, except now I’m working long hours almost everyday of the week (I’ve worked 12 days in a row with no day off). I get pretty annoyed with my job as I often deal with shitty management and rude customers regardless of the situation that’s going on. \n\nEvery time I try to complain to my family about work they just say, “well at least you’re working”, “you’re getting paid stop complaining”, etc. \n\nI understand that I’m lucky I’m still employed while others are struggling to meet ends meet but I just want people to sympathize with me that my job isn’t all that great either. \n\nI feel as though I have a right to complain. I have to deal with rude customers who are constantly getting angry from long lineups, less product in the store for their choosing, prices, and set limits for certain supplies. All while these people are surrounding me constantly when you’re supposed to be social distancing. Not to mention the little to no paid PPE from my job (I have to pay for my own PPE). \n\nI go to work and expose myself everyday to this virus so that people can buy the things they need. I’m just sick of people saying I’m lucky because I have a job meanwhile I’m putting myself and my family at risk at all times with no benefit except for a minimum wage pay check. \n\nAITA for complaining about being employed while others are seriously struggling. ######","completion":" NTA, you should be grateful you’re working but that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset with your situation. I’m in the same boat man hope this all blows over soon. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey all, I’m a college cheer coach, and when I recruited a school I noticed that their coach wasn’t exactly the best. She seemed very rude to the team, and in general. (Which isn’t why I’m posting, just a bit about her). She didn’t care for safety, as she would have the girls throw baskets when they practiced under a low ceiling, and the girls would subsequently crash into the ceiling but she would tell them to suck it up or get taken out. That in itself is a major safety violation, and she does blatantly. I called her out on it, but she laughed and said it doesn’t matter. I wrote an email to the AD, but never got a response.\n\nNow the same coach is making the team fundraise for her and two girls to go to Hawaii for a cheer camp. Which I don’t think the whole team should have to fundraise. But the real kicker is that she plans on taking her family as well, and that her family is included in the team fundraising. I feel like that’s a big no no, and pretty unethical. \n\nSo Reddit. Would I be the asshole if I reported this coach for her blatant safety disregards and now this fundraising stunt to her ADs? I would get in contact with the other assistant ADs for this happen. I feel like I should step in as I also coach this sport and don’t want to see other people get hurt because of this coach. Thanks all! ######","completion":" NTA, you should *absolutely* be reporting her for breaking safety violations. As an ex-cheerleader I almost wanted to say Y T A for not having reported her as soon as she had her team doing something as dangerous as basket tosses under a low ceiling. ######"}
{"prompt":"I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ######","completion":" NTA, you pay for it with your own money and therefore you decide who gets to use it. It would be different if she was sliding you a few bucks a month for it, but kinda rude of her to keep insisting on you giving it to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"She has started doing this thing where when we order food she will tell me she doesn't want something I am getting, a milkshake for example. We get our food and then she'll ask for a bite. No problem. But it never is just one bite or even half of my food. She'll finish all of it. After this kept happening, I thought I could just order two of whatever I was getting and that would work. Wrong. If I order an extra for her after she tells me no she never eats it, so it goes to waste. \n\nThe same thing happens if I cook. I eat meat and she does not and has not for years, but she recently started wanting some of it and then would eat it all herself the same way she was doing with our takeout. If I ask her if she wants me to fix a portion for her, she says no because \"she doesn't eat meat\" and will even get upset at me for asking because I am \"trying to get her to eat meat.\"\n\nI do meal prep for myself, and the story is the same for that too. She eats the meals I have prepared for lunch.  \n\nThis happens all the time now, at almost every meal. It never matters what I do or how I try to plan ahead because the result is always the same. I finally got so fed up with having to always find something else for myself and started refusing to give her any of my food. I told her if she wants her own then let me know and I will get it but otherwise she can't have any of mine. I tried to be reasonable and compromise, but she has given me no choice. \n\nShe thinks I am an ogre for refusing to share food with her since she is having my child and I need to support her, but all I am asking for is for her to stop taking all of my food after I have given her every chance to have her own! AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you offered to prepare her an extra portion so you could have yours and she could eat as well. Next time, prepare the extra, stick it somewhere it'll keep warm, and when she's done eating yours, bring it out and finish your dinner. When she asks what's going on, tell her you made the extra b\/c you knew she was going to eat most of your food. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been noticing this for a while. Back before we had out daughter, everything on her Instagram was about our son (6). Nothing strange about that. She loved showing him off and taking pictures between them, but as soon as our daughter (3) was born, I noticed the shift. \n\nOut of the \\~71 photos she has posted since January 1, I saw one of just her and our son. It was one she posted on his birthday, and it wasn't even a new photo of him. She has \\~32 photos of her and our daughter or our daughter by herself. The rest are family photos. This is basically the pattern you see if you go all the way back to when our daughter was born. \n\nIf our son hated taking pictures, I could understand. He doesn't. My wife just seems to be obsessed with our daughter and particularly doing  matching outfit photos of the two of them. I could feel she was more excited about her pregnancy with our daughter than our son, and this has only continued. \n\nI'm not saying my wife is a bad mother to our son, but I see the favoritism. \n\nI sat her down and told her that she is favoring our daughter and someday our son is going to see this and wonder why she loves him less than our daughter. She took offense to this and cried because she said I was telling her she was a bad mother. She denied that she is favoring our daughter but to me the proof is in the photos. \n\nAITA for what I said? ######","completion":" Nta, you noticed the favoritism early on and called it out. I am the oldest of 3 other brothers and the \"baby\" of the family is definitely the favorite, at first the favorite was my 2nd brother but then 7 years later mom had another kid and he became the favorite. It's fucked up psychology but in the US I think it's natural because my high school friends went through similar shits. My dad always called it out though so you should definitely be that dad because your boy will hopefully remember you sticking up for his ass too. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (29f) am German. I'm married to an Australian. For the last 5 years we have been living in Australia but I have always been very clear about the fact that I would eventually want to move back to Germany, especially when it was time to have kids. My husband was on board and last year we started looking for jobs in Germany. I got one pretty much straight away. My husband had some more trouble but eventually he found something too. We were set to move in September. My parents organised a nice house for us and everything looked great. \n\nUnfortunately due to certain events I have been furloughed and am on jobseeker's. My husband is still working luckily. We figured since we're moving to Germany soon I could come off birth control. We'll apparently I'm very fertile because I got pregnant pretty much straight away. At first we were both overjoyed but then a few days later my husband basically broke down and said he didn't want to leave Australia and he wants his child to grow up here.\n\nI was absolutely gobsmacked because he never said anything that would have made me think that he wasn't on board with Germany. I told him that pretty much from day 1 I had been very clear about where I eventually wanted to live and that I I still felt the same. It escalated into a huge fight and eventually we broke up. I'm devastated but also feel betrayed in a way. This happened 7 weeks ago. 3 days ago I arrived in Germany. I had to get away since he basically kicked me out of our house and I didn't see why I would look for a place in Australia when I will start my new job in September. \n\nMy (ex) husband thinks I should have stayed in Australia since the baby was conceived there. He thinks I stole the baby from him and accused me of fleeing the country. ######","completion":" NTA, you made it very clear from the beginning that you wanted to move to Germany and he agreed. You both made plans to move and you did. You're not \"fleeing the country\", you just did what you (both!) had planned. He should have told you from the beginning how he felt if he didnt feel like moving to Germany. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, so today, I(16M) and my family was talking about something that can't be mentioned in this subreddit. I said that I wanted to say what I thought about that subject, and my sister started giggling about how I was going to say something stupid probably taken from a youtube video. My dad laughed with her and insinuated that I was going to say something dumb, and my mom said how she was going to see if I was her son, insinuating that she is smart. I really got offended since my whole family was saying that I was dumb, and I really don't think so. I have really bad grades since I started studying in Switzerland (in German), and that's my 4th language, so I get 3 and 4 out of 6 regularly. After that, I took my dishes, cleaned them and came to my room (I had already finished my dinner). Everyone says that I should come back and that was being rude. I am now in my room and I wonder, AITA here? P.S.: sorry for grammar errors, I'm not a native speaker.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nEdit: 30 min later, my mom knocked and apologised, my sister was embarrassed and my dad didnt say anything. Thank you all for the advice!  ######","completion":" NTA, you made an intelligent choice by removing yourself when you were upset. Even if they were only joking, they still hurt you and once they saw how they made you feel they should have reached out to apologise.       \n        Regardless though, being able to remove yourself from a situation rather than escalating it and getting into a fight shows a lot of maturity. \nWell done on your grades - most people struggle to get decent grades in their first language, let alone their fourth! ######"}
{"prompt":"A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######","completion":" NTA, you lose someone’s stuff, you replace it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 22 year old dude. \n\nSo I was in the emergency room last night, and they ended up diagnosing me with something called Epiploic Appendagitis, which I will spare you specific details but roughly once a month a lot of blood comes out and I get extremely bad stomach pain.  The stomach pain was bad enough that I felt the need to go to the ER during a pandemic yesterday, to give some sense of scale. \n\nMy family followed me to the hospital, and were waiting outside in the car for five hours while they ran various scans on me.  \n\nAfter I got discharged and I was talking with my family about how there wasn't really any treatment plan for it (it's not actually a super serious condition) and I'd probably just have to deal with it, I said something along the lines of \"it can't be worse than having a period once a month\"\n\nMy sister, 19, called me insensitive, my mom found it hilarious, and my dad said I probably shouldn't talk about things I don't know much about. \n\nMy sister is still kind of pissed at me, but I honestly don't think I was making light of periods or anything.  I mean I was in the hospital with enough pain that they were talking about giving me the good stuff (which I turned down, but it was offered). And it seems that unless I get my nutrition just right, I'm going to be in that amount of pain at random points for the rest of my life. \n\nBut also my dad is right and I genuinely don't know what I'm talking about.  I mean I did grow up with a little sister and good parents who explained everything so I'm not ignorant on periods at all but I might be missing something.  \n\nI probably wouldn't tell anyone outside my family that I even have this at all, so I don't really have to worry about whether I make this joke in front of others, but I kind of want to know if it is a dick thing to say. ######","completion":" NTA, you literally made light of your issue by saying it's not as bad as a period. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15M) live with my little sister (11F) and mother.\n\nMy mother and little sister argue A LOT. My little sister does show some problems with anger and will start yelling very easily.\n\nOne of the most recent very bad arguments was about her bed time. I was not present as it happened in my mom’s room, but I could most definitely hear both of them screaming at each other. \nAfter, my little sister told me she had been pinned against the bed. Though I didn’t see it, so I can’t confirm that, it is very possible that could have happened.\n\nI went into my mother’s room, and this conversation followed:\n\nMe: “Can I say something that you might not like? About arguing with [my littler sister]?”\n\nMother: “Yes”\n\nMe: “I think it would be better if you tried to keep your cool more. She’s never gonna learn to regulate emotions if her role model for that is yelling a lot too”\n\nMother (now annoyed): “Just get out, [my name]”\n\nShe was cold to me for the rest of the day and when I brought it up to my aunt I was also told I was an asshole for “disrespecting my own mother”.\nHowever, I really tried to do it respectfully and didn’t think I came off as rude.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta, you just pointed that out politely ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8\/9 months till he got his place\n\nSo my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.\n\nHis flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back\n\nhe decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions\n\nGuess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ######","completion":" NTA, you if you don't set your boundaries, then there won't be any when it matters. Also a small thing, but if my gf is coming over i clean up everything, clothes, dishes, etc. Because despite being over 2 years i still want to impress her and not have her be in the mess i live in. If he truly cares, he will get his act together. He's just forced to act on something he knows isn't right or good, and he's lashing out like a child. Like a child who got an F in a class and gets pissed at his parents for calling him out. He doesn't like that his mistake and fuck ups were mentioned, when they should be getting fixed ######"}
{"prompt":"Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away. \n\nLong hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids\/husband\/parents and I suffered. \n\nI managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first. \n\nAlthough Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor  (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”. \n\nTheir “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement &amp; my kids’ schools have had to get involved. \n\nI just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars. \n\nPastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass. \n\nStep-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship &amp; Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both. \n\nStep-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass. \n\nI maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now. \n\nWho’s TA here? ######","completion":" NTA, you have no obligation to forgive him and based on the behavior of the involved parties after the fact, actively making it worse, there is no reason to. ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in. \n\nBecause of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.  \n\nI wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the \"ruckus\" that goes on every day.  \n\nThere are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.\n\nI feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######","completion":" NTA, you have no legal requirement for a longer notice period and they are very definitely problem tenants who are likely going to cost you money (be prepared to repair the damage they have\/will cause to the unit) and possibly other tenants. You will be the asshole, on the other hand, if you don't get rid of them since they are making life worse for your good tenants and your neighbors. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t drink, I haven’t for nearly two years.\n\nMy dad likes to drink a lot, my brother is a straight up alcoholic in denial our family\/his wife have tried to help. But he claims he’s fine.\n\nWhen both of them drink they became even bigger sexist, racist assholes. They make sexist comments about women, gross homophobic jokes about the LGBT community and throw around the N Word more than they should (we’re white that word should never leave their mouths)\nI am a pansexual woman.\n\nMy brother hangs out with me a couple times a week because we have a lot in common and like hanging out, but every time he comes over he brings at least two six packs of beers. He leaves empty bottles all over the place, once in the shower. My bins are in my parking lot (literally two feet from his own car) but even if I ask he won’t take them to the trash when he leaves. It thoroughly annoys me because I don’t like having any of it in my house.\n\nLast week my brother and I planned a “sleepover” to get stoned and hang out, our usual thing. I told him please not to bring alcohol over because I didn’t want it here. The next day my brother cancelled the plans because he was “busy” \n\nQueue videos on Snapchat of him at a mates drinking. Fine he got a better offer.\nBut it hurt, I know he cancelled our plans because I asked him not to bring booze but I’m also not comfortable having alcohol in my house anymore because when he starts drinking he’s an asshole and likes to start fights about issues he knows I care about i.e woman’s right, gay rights, sexism etc. He makes rude comments and when I get upset or argue against it he tells me to “calm down it’s just a joke” but I don’t find it funny.\n\nI don’t want alcohol in my home but I’m worried it’ll hurt my relationship with him if I don’t allow him to drink at mine.\nShould I hold my ground or give in and just let him drink so I can have a relationship with my brother (I’ve already been disowned by my sister for various reason) ######","completion":" NTA, you have boundaries and your brother crosses them when he drinks. Since he obviously can’t drink in moderation, banning alcohol entirely seems like your only option so you can enjoy your time with him. \n\nIf you’re able to, maybe sit down with him and explain why you’d prefer no alcohol; but that you also don’t want to lose the relationship you have with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out  for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.\n\nWhen she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean\/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).\n\nSo of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!  \n\nNo response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.\n\nI reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.\n\nI texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.\n\nI called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.\n\nSo they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.\n\nSo..  AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, you have a heart of gold but I'm hoping you know this person was just taking your money for a fix. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.\n\n6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.\n\nNow I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one. \n\nNow M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.\n\nAfter calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ######","completion":" NTA, you had an agreement and she has to stick to that! It seems like she really didn’t care or try to sort this situation out for herself and now she has to deal with it herself, it’s not your problem at all! \n\nP.S. try to get that mattress back, not cool M! ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (30m) and I (30f) are expecting our first child, a girl. I'm 30 weeks along, and we're very excited, as are our families. I've always gotten along with my Mother In Law, so this was pretty surprising.\n\nUnfortunately, his grandma passed away recently, and his family is understandably devastated. My MIL (Grandma's only daughter) asked us if we would consider naming the baby after Grandma. We haven't fully picked out a name yet, so ordinarily we'd consider it, but there's one big issue with the name: His grandma's first name was Hermione. In case anyone doesn't know, Hermione is a main character in the Harry Potter series and it's a pretty uncommon name, so anyone who met our daughter would assume she's named after that Hermione (who I have nothing against, I do like the books and movies). Harry Potter is so popular that I'm positive that she'd be teased for it. \n\nMIL called us again last night, asking about the name, and we said we didn't want to name her after Grandma. MIL asked why, and we said that since Harry Potter is so popular, she'd be teased about it and asked questions about it her whole life. MIL got upset, and was crying a little. She said \"we cared more about some books and movies than her dead mother\" and that we were \"dishonoring\" Grandma and proved that we didn't care about her or MIL. \n\nWe've since been getting texts from FIL and SIL saying that we were breaking MIL's heart and ruining Grandma's memory. I was talking with my sister about it, and she said we should at least consider it as a middle name and shouldn't have been so negative with MIL. \n\nI'm feeling guilty, since Grandma was a very kind person and I'd like to honor her memory somehow, and maybe we should have compromised somehow? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you get to choose your kids name. People can get weird about what you name your baby. If you want to make a compromise with her and still honor grandma, maybe it'd be possible to use the middle name? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody. It’s me. Again. \n\nI recently went to Walmart with my mom and younger siblings and my younger brother (9, autistic which is relevant because of what my mom said) was preparing for summer camp. My mom said he needed to pick a towel. He picked a pink one with pretty butterfly’s. I said,”good choice, bub.” And my mom immediately looked upset. She asked him,”don’t you want one that’s less girly?” He started crying. She was like,”fine, whatever. Get that one.” I pulled him aside and told him that it’s okay to like things that other people consider girly because objects aren’t gendered and he should just pick what he liked. My mother was fuming. He wanted to window shop in the toy aisle so we walked over there and while he was browsing, she told me that I was way out of line and he’s already autistic and she doesn’t want to give kids one more thing to pick on him for. Now I’m 19. I told her this isn’t the 90s. Kids don’t do shit like that and I was a kid a very short time ago so I should know but she berated me over and over for it and we got in another argument about it today. \n\nTL;DR: AITA for telling my brother to like whatever he wants despite what my mom says? \n\nSo reddit, AITA here? She’s making me second guess myself. ######","completion":" NTA, you gave your brother good advice. Your mother's attitude is outdated. And the fact that people might make fun of him is no reason to discourage him expressing himself authentically. That's a crap message to send to your kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m sure I’d be TA here but I wanted to double check because I’m an idiot.\nI gave my girlfriends nephew $800 for his class trip. The trip cost around $2400USD &amp; I felt generous after hearing his parents were struggling to meet the monthly payments. I gave it to him in private and really adore this kid. \n\nNow, his class trip has been cancelled. His mother and father now have possession of the money and intend on using for their own purposes. \nThe money was a gift to him, not their family. \n\nWIBTA if I asked for the money back? If not, I’m lost as to how to bring it up without coming across as a douchebag BIL.\n\nEdit: it appears the money may be allocated towards a family vacation. Not sure how that changes people’s opinions. ######","completion":" NTA, you gave a conditional gift. The condition was that the nephew got to go on the class trip. \n\nYou could bring it up by offering to hold on to it until the trip is rescheduled, or ask them to hold on to it for his next class trip\/big event. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job. \n\nMy grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object. \n\nThis really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance. \n\nI feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA, you earned the money- spend it on what you want. I also feel like surely your grandma would be happy you’re saving for college? The idea of giving her $500 cash as a gift seems ludicrous to me, esp at age 16 ######"}
{"prompt":"From the age of 13-17 yo I went to a boarding school where I was bullied. Although there were many people that treated me like shit, there was this one guy who's worse than the others. From name calling to physical bullying, he did it all. I was horrified of him. Really horrified. It went to a point that I absolutely willing to do anything so just I won't have to stumble upon him. \n\nAt the age of 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression. Sure he wasn't the only cause of it but he sure did his fair share. I couldn't drop out of the school because I went there on scholarship. Dropping out would mean I have to pay it back. Could not really talk to any adults either because snitches get way more stitches.  In the subsequent years, I learned to make myself small so that nobody would notice my presence. Things did not get better but it's bearable. \n\nA few days before I officially finished my highschool and went my own ways, he came to me apologizing. I asked him why he treated me horribly for all those years. He told me that there was no reason for it. Apparently I might've rub him the wrong way somehow. He asked me to forgive him because once we out of school we probably will never met again. \nI told him no.\n\nA few days ago, his wife reached out to my friend asking for my number. She called me asking if I'm willing to talk to his husband. Apparently he's not in good condition health wise and is still bothered that I didn't accept his apology. I don't know the details but my friend told me he's dying. \n\nMy therapist told me that I need to let go of my past. My boyfriend told me to be the bigger person and  I will be TA if I were to ignore him. \n\nWIBTA if I still refuse to talk to him or accept his apology? ######","completion":" NTA, you don’t have to forgive him just because he wants you to. You don’t owe him anything- he was TA from the beginning ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite. \n\nMy sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.\n\nGrowing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone. \n\nI understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you don't need a reason to not want kids. it's your life, your choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22M) fought multiple times with my highschool friend (23F) because of her disapproval of ‘the homosexual lifestyle.’ I want this time to be the last, because after years of explaining, she still doesn't seem to want to understand. (We are from and live in North Africa.) She often tells me about the guys she likes, but when I do the same, she says she doesn't want to hear about it. This last time was triggered by an IG story where she says she does not support the LGBT community. I sent her a message saying that I, too, do not support some thoughts and practices (like genital mutilation, imposed religious conformity, and far-right political parties) because they put some people in danger. I contrasted with that what she says is used to put the lives of many people in danger, and often leads to fatalities. She answered saying that she doesn't accept my homosexuality and I don't accept her homophobia. Her reasoning looks flawed to me. Am I the asshole here ? ######","completion":" NTA, you don't have to be accepting of her homophobia.. ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across. \n\nA week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.\n\nThe day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.\n\nWhile I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you didn't overstep as a stepmother. You made your stepson happy, and that's what matters here - not to mention you tried to contact his mother! What does she expect, that you'll never do anything with him because she might feel jealous? ######"}
{"prompt":"This is regarding a party several months back, a family party. \n\nGrowing up, I (22M) always had a rather boisterous crush on one of my sister's (31F) friend (31F). This was from about age 13 to 16. So she was around 21 when I crushed on her. \n\nLet's call her Lydia. Lydia wasn't uncomfortable or anything by it she always just laughed it off. Most of my friends had a crush on her she was really hot. \n\nI guess around age 18 or so I grew into my looks, and I was considered good looking. \n\nSo I hadn't seen Lydia since I was 17 because she moved away until recently at a family party (around early Feb). \n\nShe couldn't recognize me but once I told her who I was she was shocked. She got very friendly very quickly and was clearly tipsy. She got a bit touchy feely. She then got a bit flirty and remarked how handsome I was while feeling me up. \n\nHonestly, while younger me would have fantasised about that, I do have to say that I wasn't into it. She still looks good, but nowhere near as good as she did 10 years ago. So unfortunately I wasn't into it. And I excused myself. \n\nLater she came outside and asked me why I wasn't into it I said she was a bit too old for me and then she got angry and called me AH. Honestly my sister is still pissed about how I said that. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you could have gone for a softer delivery. \n\nBut really they have no leg to stand on being mad at you for not sleeping with her.\n\nGotta say tho that gave me a laugh ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ######","completion":" NTA, you could easily separate them for the wedding in seating arrangements. If she had behaved like that at my wedding I would have uninvited your brother's gf for being so demanding and you barely know her anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"We (30\/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.\n\nI'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.\n\nAnyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.\n\nFinally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said \"I thought you didn't want any\". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.\n\nI asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.\n\nWe continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.\n\nAm I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.\n\nThank you! ######","completion":" NTA, you cook and do the housework and what does he do? oh thats right plays the PS4 just because someone is doing work doesnt mean he can help, if you ask for him to make YOU some food he should do it, though you deserve much more in life and he said no, hes your husband for christs sake he should love amd respect you not treat you like a peasant and servant, i dont have much but i hope a small award cheers you up a little, have a great day.\nfrom, -the short- ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been with my boyfriend “Dylan” for 2 years, I have a 3year old son and a 5 year old daughter and Dylan has a 9 year old daughter.\n\nA year ago he spoke about getting his daughter a dog for her birthday, I told him I was heavily allergic, it makes my asthma act up along with getting hives etc \n\nWe’ve been talking about moving in with each other, we were moving it up since 12 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant.\n\nI’m staying with my mother though while this all goes down.\n\n10 weeks ago for his daughters 9th birthday he got her a Staffordshire bull terrier dog, without speaking to me.\n\nHe bought up moving in together when possible and I told him it wouldn’t be happening with the dog there, I don’t expect him to rehome the dog but I’m not sure what else we can do.\n\nI said we can maybe try living together once I give birth, check with the doctor what I can do about the allergies - but I’m not putting myself through the stress during pregnancy.\n\nHe’s upset with me for guilt tripping him for getting a birthday present for his daughter, that we’re family now and I can’t make this decision by myself, he should be able to be there for the pregnancy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you can't make a decision yourself but he can? Fuck the dude ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.\n\nMy mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.\n\nI usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.\n\nI’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.\n\nAmber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.\n\nI can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.\n\nMy mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA, you can't control her attitudes but you can control yours, I would recommend reassure your mother that you still love her even if you are away. ######"}
{"prompt":"I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you bought with your money. It’s your choice whether or not you want to share your expensive ice-cream with them. As it is it’s already good enough that you’re buying them ice-cream but just don’t let them find out about the expensive ice-cream if not they might throw a fit haha. ######"}
{"prompt":"Extended family is split on this.  We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground).  It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim.  I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool.  Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious?  You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?”  So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you aren’t actually denying them use of the pool. You are observing the recommended precautions for people with the risk factors you mentioned in these times. That that happens to encompass the pool use is incidental. I guess it’s nice to know your family is more concerned with being able to have fun in your pool than helping keep you and your household safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 27F and the only child of my mother. My parents split when I was 16y. Up until this point, I assumed that I had truthful parents. \n\nWhen I was 15y, I received a message on a social media platform from someone who claimed to be my half-sister (Anna). I confronted my mother who had no idea who she was. We confronted my father and then shit properly hit the fan. \n\nI then discovered that my father has two children 7-10 years older than me (Bob and Carol) from his first marriage who my mother knew all about. Anna’s existence was a shock to my mother as she was the result of a secret affair (she was born about 5 years before me). This prompted my parents splitting up. \n\nSo all my life, my father had been splitting his life between three homes and lying to my mother and I about his whereabouts. \n\nWhen I was 15 and Anna contacted me for the first time, she was telling me that she wants to get to know me, that she has children and I’m her sister etc. It was all a big shock to me. Since then, Anna has contacted me a few more times. I would get a call from my dad and it would actually be Anna on the phone. Bob and Carol haven’t contacted me directly but have requested to through my father. My father regularly blackmails me into meeting them all as he’s going to die “one day soon” and I should know them. He has given Anna my number against my consent. He has attempted to set up meetings without my knowledge, lying and saying that I’m only meeting an aunt yet somehow I come to find out I’m meeting Anna. \n\nI do feel bad but I honestly just feel like I have zero connection to or desire to get to know these people. We have the same father but I just don’t see them as my siblings. I don’t need any brothers or sisters and it’s not my fault if I don’t want to play happy families. I am the youngest of them all, so I hope I’m not being immature but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you are more than old enough to decide who you want in your life. Your dad is definitely an asshole, and if your siblings don’t respect your wishes they are too. Set hard boundaries and don’t let anyone trample them, your dad especially. You deserve to have a life with people who respect you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom was born in Iran. My grandmother is Iranian. My grandfather is white and American. He was in the army and stationed in Iran. He let my grandmother, they fell in love, had my mom, lived in Iran for about five years then moved back to the States. \n\n\nMy mom was raised in a very...interesting household to say the least. She was raised in a very typical Middle Eastern way, my grandmother was (and still is) very strict with her. Therefore, when my mom had me she wanted to raise me differently than she had been. \n\n\nWe barely went to see my grandparents and my mom claims no connection to that part of her heritage. As a result, I haven't had any connection either. \n\n\nOver the past year or so I've been wanting to Chanel that though. I've been cooking traditional Iranian foods, have been teaching myself Farsi, and just been learning about the culture in general. (I am not Muslim or even religious at all if that's something important to include). \n\n\nFull discretion I do not look Middle Eastern. When most people try to guess where I'm from they usually think I'm mixed Mexican. \n\n\nI was telling my friend, who is fully Middle Eastern, how I've been coming along learning Farsi, and she got very annoyed with me. She told me how tired of \"white people trying to steal the parts of culture that they like\" and how disrespectful it was, especially because I didn't grow up in a traditional brown household.\n\n\nI let it drop and apologized, because the thought of culturally appropriating is terrible to me and if that's what I'm doing then I'll stop immedietely. However, part of me thinks that I do have a claim to it... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you are iranian by origin, so it's absolutely not CA for you to learn your own culture. your friend is being narrow-minded by assuming that there is only one way to grow up 'brown', in her own words, when the truth is that iranians across the world all have different levels of engagement with their own and other cultures. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve (27F) been with my husband (39M) for 3 years, married for 2.\n\nMy stepdaughter is 16, 17 next month.\n\nI’m surprised she hasn’t been given the birds and the bee talk sooner.\n\nWhen I grew up my parents acted as though sex was something to be ashamed of, I do not share this view.\n\nWhen my stepdaughter came to me to ask for advice or what ever, I was obviously happy she felt she could come to me for advice.\n\nI gave her the typical advice\n\n*birth control is a must\n*make sure he wears protection \n*if you feel pressured, text an adult or whoever you feel comfortable with.\n*consent is key for both parties \n\nAnd lastly; sex is not something to be ashamed of, don’t be afraid to talk about it if there’s anything you’re uncomfortable with.\n\nShe went home and I have been getting texts from her mother about how I “overstepped” and I should’ve sent my daughter to ask her, she seemed genuinely upset.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you are a staple part of the girls life. She came to you because she felt comfortable. If she’d felt comfortable she would have asked her Mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so like many of you, I have been laid off work due to the current situation in the world. I run a very small online business, mostly as a hobby, but it is now my only source of income. Today I woke up and could not connect to the internet. I didn’t think much of it, as it cuts out for a few minutes from time o time. But after a few hours, I got sick of waiting, and walked up the road to connect to an unlocked wifi. It was at that point I received a message from my landlord (sent as a mass text to the 12 units in my building) saying “sorry, due to budget restraints, there will be no internet this month”. \n\nI got very annoyed at this and messaged back “okay, in that’s case there will be no rent this month”. I live in one of the most expensive cities in North America, I pay over $1500 for a small apartment (less than 300 square feet) that is supposed to include internet. I now have no income whatsoever, as I can’t be walking up the road to use janky wifi several times a day. \n\nMy landlord has replied and told me that if I don’t like it, I can move out, and he will consider my damage deposit as this months rent. I am livid. I vented to a friend about it, and he told me that I need to stop whining and that it’s just wifi, I can survive without it. But I literally have no way to make money now, not to mention my only form of entertainment (Netflix and YouTube) are all based on the internet. So, am I the asshole in all of this? ######","completion":" NTA, you and the landlord had a contract and internet was included. How can he expect his tenants to pay full price if they are not receiving full service? Internet will cost at most a few hundred bucks a month, compared to the rent, it’s nothing. He’s trying to cut his costs so he can still make money, meanwhile he’s denying you your ability to make money ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.\nSo I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######","completion":" NTA, you also definitely have the right to limit your 11 y\/o's screen time and not have him argue with you about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse. \n\nMy parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much. \n\nWith the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home.\n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ######","completion":" NTA, you already paid them back, so they have no right to choose how you have to decorate your own home ######"}
{"prompt":"So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment. \n\nSteve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met. \n\nI gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor\/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.\n\nThis week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children. \n\nA lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, you already gave them chances to have a pet and they abused their privileges. You don’t have to explain your reasoning to anyone. Plus, the way they’re acting shows that adding a pet is only going to cause more problems in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work. \n\nMy mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call \"B\". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes.  well 5 hours later B came back.\n\nWhen I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said \"my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing\" \n\nMy usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like \"at least he isn't f\\*\\*\\*ing dead in a hospital\" and \"why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead\" and to top it off \"id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now\" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things. \n\nAMTA? ######","completion":" NTA, yeet your boyfriend into the ex boyfriend zone ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway I don't want to post on my main account because my girlfriend follows it\n\nMy girlfriend is an artist as her hobby she is pretty good. Last year I started drawing as way to cope with a passing of my father. I ended up being decent after a while and I thought I should start improving my art skills and being professional about it. I ended up drawing \"famous\" manga characters in the sketch book and real life items.\n\nI showed some of the mutual friends between me and my girlfriend and they liked mine a lot. Recently our mutual friends have stopped liking my girlfriends artwork and started liking mine more. I never brag about it to my girlfriend. yesterday  a mutual friend was visiting out apartment and told me that my artwork is better than my girlfriends. My girlfriend heard that and became really mad at me and said that I stole the one thing she was better at than me.\n\nSo last night my girlfriend told me she got rid of the sketch book because i was spending to much time on it. This sketch book I had since my fathers passing and had my first artwork. She told me that I was not taking care of the dog which is the reason she threw away the art book. I spend at least 2 hours with the dog after work. I explained to her I was upset with what she did with my sketch book.\n\nMy girlfriend then told me that she threw it away because I stole her hobby from her.  She said it was never really my hobby and it was only her hobby. She said I should not feel bad about throwing the notebook and I should be grateful for her actions.  So now I am wondering if I was the asshole for stealing girlfriends hobby and then for being upset she threw out my sketch book. ######","completion":" NTA, wth how old are you guys, is your girlfriend 15? Nobody “owns” a hobby, she’s being jealous and taking it out by ruining your possessions which is not okay at all \n\nYour friend is also kind of an asshole for saying your art is better than hers. And why do they have to only like your art and not hers if they liked hers before, it’s not like there’s a finite number of “likes” for art. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (25m) and my fiance (29f) are renting the house we live in from my mom (51f) with no written rental agreement. My mom wants us to assume the mortgage from her and we live here for the next 17 years until the mortgage is paid off. \n\nThe problem is that fiance and I both have to travel an hour or more to work and mom is using the house as her personal storage unit. Also the house needs a lot of work done to it because whoever added the additions to the house did a terrible job. We don't want to live in the house because we don't have room for our stuff and it is causing our relationship to have unnecessary arguments. \n\nWe want to live closer to work especially since I have to be to work at 5am. Whenever we say anything to mom about moving she replies \"you won't ever find a better deal than what I'm offering, assuming the mortgage is your best option to own your own house.\" The last time I mentioned moving she said \"how can I afford my camper if you move?\" \n\nSo reddit WIBTA if fiance and I move? ######","completion":" NTA, why would you buy a place you don't want to live in for one year, let alone 17? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 24 year old woman and I was watching my 2 year old nephew for me 30 year old sister. This took place before coronavirus.\n\nI was watching my nephew for my sister while she ran some errands, for about 3 hours. I played with him, fed him, and changed his diaper when he started to get a bit sleepy, so I put on one of those kid shows (Choo Choo Thomas? The one with the talking trains), picked him up and laid on the couch. He was on top of me with his head resting on my chest, and we both fell asleep like that.\n\nAbout 30 minutes later I hear my sister screeching at me in the most demonic tone, saying that it was inappropriate that his head was on my chest, called me a slut and said that I forced him to do that, and said that I would never be alone with him again because I was obviously a predator. I was really shocked. She came and ripped my nephew off of me (at this point he was doing that monkey cling thing with his arms and legs wrapped around me) and my husband kicked her out and assured me that I had done nothing wrong.\n\nMy family is on my side saying that she overreacted, but she posted some snarky things on Facebook that were quite obviously aimed at me, so I decided to ask this question.\n\nFor reference I am a busty woman and I was wearing a camisole type top ######","completion":" NTA, why is she sexualizing a child l ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######","completion":" NTA, why does she think it's ok to police what you eat or drink? She needs to get over it, there's nothing wrong with drinking milk. Ask her why she thinks it's so gross and why it disgusts her. That's a her problem, not a you problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"The title probably makes me sound bad, but in my defense I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night and makes me excessively drowsy in the morning (my natural sleep cycle would be something like 5 AM-1 PM). This means when I am actually able to fall asleep early, I get easily frustrated when woken up.\n\nSo here's what happened last night: my girlfriend woke me up at 4 AM to ask me if I had taken out the junk (they pick up on Friday morning here). I told her yes, and she then asked if I had wheeled the cart out, and I said yes again. Then she asked if I had closed the lid on the cart, because she had left it open and they might not take it if it's open and I said yes again. This entire time I was a little cranky since it was 4 AM and I just wanted to go back to sleep but I was keeping my cool and saying yes in a mostly neutral tone. Up until her next question, which was, \"Are you sure?\" \n\nI admit that at this point I lost my cool. It's 4 AM, I am tired, and it's hard for me to sleep at normal times so I want to take advantage of the opportunity when I can to try to maintain a sleep schedule that aligns with more normal hours. So I angrily shouted, \"YES!\" back to her at this point. When that happened, she got very upset, told me I was mean and that I hated her, and began to cry. I felt bad at this point, so I spent nearly the next hour trying to console her in the hope that we could just go back to sleep. Eventually she did, but it took me yet another hour to fall asleep, at around 6 AM. Then neighbors started doing yard work at about 9 AM this morning, so all total I got maybe 5 hours of sleep (when I usually need 9 or 10 to function thanks to my sleep disorder). \n\nShe's still mad at me for yelling at her, but I'm also still mad at her for waking me up to interrogate me over the damn garbage at 4 AM so I want to know who reddit sides with on this one. ######","completion":" NTA, who worries about the trash at 4am?! If it was that important, her ass could go look. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate approached me today and said that her friend (who i've never met or heard of) had to move out of the dorms in a week and since he lived in Germany he could not go home for the summer. \nEssentially she had told him he could stay at our apartment (2 bed 1 bath) for a month and was wondering if it was okay with me. I told her it made me uncomfortable to live and share a bathroom with a stranger and that I wasn't okay with him living at our apartment. \nI feel bad since he does not have any other options and my roommate was trying to sort something out for him but I have social anxiety and would not be able to easily do daily necessities with him there and it would be a violation of our lease agreement. She is moving out in June while I'm renewing the lease so I am at risk if we get caught and she doesn't know about my social anxiety. \nAm I the asshole for not letting him stay? ######","completion":" NTA, who the hell wants the hassle of some random person they don’t know moving in with them? Especially at a time like this. Have you had any grief from your friend after saying no?\n\nDon’t feel bad, home is the one place we should feel comfortable. It sucks that he has nowhere to go at the moment but that’s not your responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"Where I live both dog and regular parks are open. There are many parks in the area but only a few of them are off leash dog parks. \n\nI brought my dog to the park to play fetch as we usually do. It's a rather large park and pretty easy to avoid people. I noticed there was a couple having a picnic so I entered on the opposite side so my dog wouldn't bother them. \n\nLike 30 minutes into our session another dog showed up that wasn't as well trained. They said hi to my pup then realised there was a selection of meat, cheese and crackers sitting on the ground. He ran over and started trying to steal the food.\n\nMy dog remained by my side until a third dog showed up. This happened to be one of my dogs favorite friends. The third dog entered right where the picnic was happening. With two dogs now interrupting the couple's picnic, mine gave up and ran over too. It all happened really quickly and I didn't have time to react immediately.\n\nStill, I ran over and leashed her pretty quickly but the couple was understandably upset. They complained we ruined their romantic date. I apologized profusely and removed my dog from the situation. \n\nI understand I should always have control of my dog, especially in an off leash situation, but who has a picnic in a dog park? There were many other parks nearby that don't allow off leash dogs. It just seems like such a dumb thing to do. Salami and those type of meats have a pretty strong smell for dogs. However, I did technically lose control of my dog. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, who the hell has a picnic at an off-leash dog park??? That's ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 3. My next door neighbor has a 3 year old son. My neighbor is an essential worker so I watch her son during the day. He and my daughter are very good friends and tell me often that they are married. It’s obviously innocent and cute.\n\nSince I’m still working, I’ve been letting them watch a lot of tv so I can get my work done. They like to cuddle up together under a blanket while they watch. Sometimes they even fall asleep (which is a total bonus for me.) \n\nThey were knocked out under the blanket together one afternoon and I didn’t want to wake them up by moving them. My daughters father FaceTimed me and asked to see her. I told him she wasn’t sleeping but I turned the camera around and showed her napping with her friend. Her father hung up and later called me and yelled at me for allowing her to cuddle with a boy. He said it was inappropriate and that I was encouraging an unhealthy relationship. I told him he was being creepy and they’re 3. He got very angry and is telling people that I am wrongly calling him names. Am I the asshole for calling him a creep? ######","completion":" NTA, who projects all that garbage on 3 year olds? What a creepy thing to imply about the habits of 3 year olds. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nMy sister(23F) recently took my Tesla our for a joyride. I’m pissed for several reasons. She went into my room, and she stole the key. She also took my Tesla for a joyride without my permission. Nothing bad happened to it, but she always does shit like this. She’s absolutely spoiled and has no boundaries.\n \nI was in the process of buying my parent’s house when I had the idea to kick her out since the house was mine. So, I just left her an eviction notice, and after I legally could, I changed the locks. \n \nA couple of our mutual friends think I’m extremely in the wrong, probably because she lives with some of them now. Lol.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, who knows what else she's stolen when you weren't around. Plus if she crashed it or anything it would've been a way bigger deal. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (30M) sister (19F) has always been the golden child in my dads eyes, my parents  adopted me thinking that they wouldn't have biological parents, they split when I was 10 and my father went on to have my sister.\n\nI'll give her this, she was very intelligent basically straight As based on my dads bragging.\n\nWell, my dad expected her to be a doctor or something like that- very high expectations, my dad for the past year has been paying her rent while she goes college, even though she works.\n\nI called my dad yesterday when he let me know how disappointed he was in my sister...turns out she's pregnant and has no immediate plans on continuing with her education! Cherry on top? The father of the  baby is  only three years younger than me.\n\nI'm not happy about my sisters situation, I do not approve of her relationship.\n\nWell, I laughed when I found out, because the pressure my father has put on her for the past 19 years (cheerleading, track, countless diets to keep her skinny, making her give up her dream of being a vet) finally made her crack and I find it hilarious that he doesnt see **he did it to her** and he thinks he has the right to say he's disappointed?\n\nMy father, however, took this as me laughing at my sister but when I explained no- I'm laughing at him, it made things so much worse.\n\nMy stepmother has been texting me  non stop about how I hurt my father, how he just wanted to vent and as family I should support and respect him and even if I didn't it was just a genuinely dickish move to laugh.\n\n\nAITA?\n\n**ThrowRa since I use my normal account frequently** ######","completion":" NTA, while you might have been normally, it sounds like he was controlling to extremes of your sister. He deserves the ridicule. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ex and I have three sons 6, 9 and 13. I have two pets - a pug named Thor and a Maine Coon cat named Max. When my kids are with me 1\/2 the week, Thor and Max insist on sleeping with them. My kids don't mind and both enjoy snuggling. My ex-wife asked me to stop letting letting Thor and Max sleep with them because her boyfriend is very allergic to dogs and cats. I told her I couldn't care less so she is now saying that she too is allergic to cats and asks why I can't keep them in a separate room or outside. I absolutely refuse. It's not personal. ######","completion":" NTA, whether they are in the bed with the pets or not is irrelevant to the allergy as the pets are already in the house and around the kids even when not sleeping.  \n\nShe can wash and put them on some fresh clothes when they get back to hers. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50\/50 on this. \n\n\nWe are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######","completion":" NTA, when you bring an animal into your life you are committed to take care of it for its life ######"}
{"prompt":"I have never wanted kids. I have made this clear to every person I have dated. When I married my now ex, she knew this. She was okay with it, or so I thought. 3 years in, she mentioned adoption and I shut it down, reminding her I never wanted kids and that children deserve a parent who wants them. She stayed with me for another 3 years and eventually filed for divorce 2 years ago. I wasn’t surprised because outside the kid thing, we had other issues.\n\nWe got married in our 40s, so by the time we divorced we were in our 50s. I moved out and didn’t see her for awhile after the final meeting. Then one night recently I decided to take advantage of my favorite restaurant having outdoor dining again. As I was eating, my ex approached me. We made small talk and eventually she said she was angry with me. This took me off guard. She told me that I “stole the best years of her life” and “because of you, I’ll never have kids”.\n\nI laughed in her face. I said she knew going in I didn’t want kids and why should I bend on that? I said if she feels guilty for not having a baby, it’s on her not me. She got even more upset and left.\n\nMy brother thinks I could’ve handled it better and not laughed at her. I think she was being ridiculous but am willing to admit I might’ve been an asshole. So, was I? ######","completion":" NTA, what was she expecting, an apology for her decision to marry someone who was childfree? Yeah not the asshole at all, should’ve laughed harder. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last weekend, a few mates and I got together and had drinks\/dinner while watching bad movies. The apartment belonged to Sophia. At some point, she asked if I could get something out of her walk-in pantry while she cooked. Her and another of my friends locked me in. I have claustrophia as a result of trauma I experienced as a child (I don't feel comfortable sharing online). They are aware of it. So I panicked and begged them to let me out. After 2-3 minutes of them laughing, I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked the door which broke the hinges and caused it to fall off. It was only small and made of seemingly flimsy wood. I ended up having a screaming match with the two that locked me in while a third friend arrived. Said third friend agreed that what they did was terrible but the other two said I overreacted and should pay for the door. I disagreed so my friend and I left. Sophia has contacted me asking for money but I'm steadfast in believing I shouldn't pay for anything. I also think I'm owed an apology. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, what they did was cruel and then when you reacted accordingly they were even worse when they demanded you pay for the door. Don't pay for it, you don't owe them anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k\/year)\n\nWhile at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”\n\nMy husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him? \n\ninfo: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours\/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ######","completion":" NTA, what the hell? Your dad is being the asshole for even asking. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic\n\nI’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph\n\nMy brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices\n\nWe got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha\n\nWhen my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”\n\nAITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ######","completion":" NTA, what Is she, 12? Lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Reposted to be in compliance with sub rules.\n\nI'm a single father with a 4 year old daughter. Currently, I live with my younger brother and his family, taking care of their son while they work. I no longer work cause I'm a disabled veteran so that's why I watch my nephew. \n\nSo moving on, today I had an argument with my brother because he or his wife left out a Sharpie that my daughter then proceeded to find and use to draw on the countertops and an empty cereal bin. When I discovered it, I scolded my daughter for doing it and sent her to her room. Later on, my brother and his wife came out of their bedroom (he was doing school work and she was helping him while I watched both kids) and asks me how I punished my daughter for what she did. I told him I scolded her and sent her to her room. I went to look for some alcohol to clean the mess up now that the kids had supervision. When I returned, my brother had cleaned up the mess with a magic eraser and then started in on me, thinking that I should have been more severe in my punishment. I countered that she received a punishment that I deemed appropriate and that he should assume some responsibility for it happening as it wouldn't have happened if he had put away the marker when he was done with it. To me, it's one thing if she had grabbed a chair to climb on and then done what she did but it's another for someone to leave something for her to reach. He followed by saying that she's drawn on other things before and that scolding is apparently not working to which I replied that she's 4 years old and toddlers are not known for their superior impulse control. He proceed to start questioning my fathering and I walked away from the argument for fear that I would lose my rapidly dwindling cool. I understand that it is his home and I'd be frustrated too if the roles were reversed but I don't think I'm in the wrong here regarding how I handled it. That's why I've come to this impartial forum. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, what does he want you to beat your 4 year old? ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a very decent name. I mean, I don't hate it and I don't love it. Long story short, my father had a name picked out when I was born and up until birth, my name was going to be name A. Then, out came me and my mother freaked out, said she hated my name that they had agreed on for the past 7 months and said she was going to divorce my father if she every heard that name again. I ended up with name B, which has no relationship to name A at all. \n\nNow I have name B. Not a problem, but the thing of it is they haven't been able for the last 20+ years to agree on how to pronounce the damn thing. Think of it like LA Ah for Leah for one, and Leah for another. Or EE-Liz-abeth or Elizabeth. Two different, but very distinct sounding names, but it's the same name. I switch between the two, and prefer one over the other. \n\nMy mother was bitching about my dad (they're divorced) over a mutual dilemma they had over my younger brother, and I finally said \"I shouldn't be surprised you all can't decide, it's been 20 years and you still can't decide on a name\"\n\nLook, my name had been a constant power struggle for both of them. I'm sick and tired of it. So AITA for bringing this up? It's a sore spot for both of them. ######","completion":" NTA, what a wild hill for parents to die on ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll start with a bit of background. I have been friends with my friend and her ex since high school. They were together for around 10 years and split around 12 months ago. Friend has started seeing someone else. Ex has started seeing someone within our circle recently. I am friends with both of them equally. \n\nI am trying my best to remain impartial, so when they each moved on I did not mention it to the other out of respect - I figured this was a conversation best left to the two of them. About a week ago I got a message from my friend crucifying me for not telling her her ex had moved on. I only knew her ex was 'talking' to his new SO, not that there was anything 'official' happening. She won't hear it and keeps telling me she has a right to know and that I betrayed her by not telling her. I disagree. I am close with both of them and am happy to hear them out, but I won't take sides. Which they know. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, wasn't she seeing someone else too? If you were friends with them equally you would have either told them both or told neither - you told neither, because what two adults who have split do is not something you need to concern yourself with, and you're not obligated to come provide your friend with news of her ex's love life ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for having a hobby my wife doesn’t like?\n\nIt’s as simple as that. I’m not trafficking drugs or pimping women. I’m not stockpiling weapons for a cartel. I just have a hobby collecting action figures, and she absolutely hates it. \nI’m very responsible as both a husband and father, yet she concentrated on my hobby that according to her is “not manly, nor is it what a man should do.”\n\nSo that’s pretty much it. \nAITA for simply having a hobby she doesn’t like? ######","completion":" NTA, unless you're spending irresponsible amounts of shared-or-her money on it, and it doesn't sound like you are. If her only objection is that it's \"not manly,\" then I have to wonder why she was OK with it when you were dating\/getting married. Why is it a problem now? If it's always been a problem, she should be willing to accept that it's just your thing by now. ######"}
{"prompt":"To cut a long story short, I made a bit of a fuck up and thought I had approval to do overtime so I ended up doing an extra 70+ hours of work last month on top of my regulars. Unfortunately, I have not been paid these hours and didn't have approval for paid overtime and my manager has said there isn't anything they can do. I'm a little miffed at this.\n\nSo, I have decided to steal back the 7+ days of extra work I've undertaken by taking longer breaks, internet browsing and finishing early and starting late. It's not like they keep track of it anyway. Am I an asshole for that? \n\n(also in my country they only have to honour the hours if total worked puts you under minimum wage, sadly it only sadly falls short of that criteria) ######","completion":" NTA, to be honest lots of companies do this and they know what they are doing. As long as you continue to get your work completed and don't get caught, it's perfectly fair.\n\nAlso keep this in mind next time you're needed to do overtime, get them to agree to pay before you sign up for extra hours! ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year but I always wondered if I was TA.\n\nso my dad has three girls (at the time we were 17,15,11) and his wife has three boys (they were 8,12,14) and we lived together in a big house until we moved to a smaller one because rent.\n\nThe house has a master room for the parents  and four bedrooms  so me and my sisters got two rooms and the boys got the other two (bigger) rooms because they live with their mother full time and my sisters and I are in shared custody.\n\nwhen we went to see the house I found out me designated room was the one used as a storage  and it was so small my little sister (15f) couldn't sleep there because she had an adult sized bed and it wouldn't fit. I complained to my dad that my room was the smallest despite the fact I am the oldest child and I spend more time in my room then anyone else. I also complained that my sisters (15,11) had to share a rather small room and that he shouldn't have sighed a contract before making sure the house had enough room for all the children.  my dad's wife told me I was ruining the mood because the whole point of seeing the house was to be happy about how pretty it was and that I was the only one complaining. I know I have the right to feel what I feel  but since they already sighed the contract  and there was no way to change the situation I was ruining her mood.\n\nAITA?\n\nIf anyone is concerned I solved the situation. I used the move as an excuse to go live with my mom( something I wanted to do anyway) so now (11f) has \"my\" room and 15f has the normal room. I sleep in 15f's room in my childhood bed every other weekend. 14M has his own room and his little brothers don't  mind sharing a room (their words not mine) ######","completion":" NTA, time to move to your mum's house I think ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom has recently allowed my mentally ill aunt, who has been living with us on and off over the years to live in the basement permanently because she is unable to find and maintain any other kind of housing. My aunt is extremely mentally ill, and although she does not have a diagnosis because she refuses to get any medical help, it’s safe to say that she experiences psychotic episodes, and potentially dangerous ones at that. I also think she’s a narcissist, but that’s just my armchair psychology.\n\nI’m frankly not a fan of her being here particularly because I can tell my mom is absolutely terrified, even if she won’t admit it. She recently told me to keep all of the blinds closed on the main floor at all times and to not talk about my aunt at all because she may have installed some kind of recording software or another to eavesdrop on our conversations around the house, which she has done before. \n\nGrowing up she was sort of the boogeyman of the household- she’s been there maybe a month out of the year before my mom threw her out for harassing the neighbours, bullying me, or going on psychotic rampages about electromagnetic sweeps or assassins coming for our family or other things of that nature. Any time that she was around during my childhood, our lives were a nightmare, and now it’s like that constantly except my mom has become completely passive and has accepted that this is how things have to be.\n\nI fully understand that my aunt is mentally ill, but I’m also extremely uncomfortable with the inherent danger she has proven herself to be. Any time I bring up the issue of finding her some kind of mental help or frankly getting her away from us, my mom just gets angry, shuts me down and says that she’d go to hell for kicking a sick person out of her house and she has no other choice. I feel like we’re putting ourselves in danger unnecessarily, and I think my mom is in denial about the gravity of the situation she put the both of us in. ######","completion":" NTA, though I think the scope of this probably goes beyond Reddit. Your mom is enabling your aunt's illness, and they both need help. While the mentally ill area rarely physically dangerous to others, you deserve to  feel emotionally safe and have the ability to relax in your home. Your aunt's unwillingness to seek treatment is making your home unwelcoming and tense, if not dangerous. \n\nCan you move out? Do you have a different, safer  relative who would take you in if you are under age or need time to get on your feet? Leaving might be the only action your mom will understand, since she won't listen to you talk about your problems with your aunt. \n\nIf you can't leave, then can you put a strong lock on your bedroom door? You could at least have a place of respite in your home where you feel safe. I would keep it locked at all times, and not share the key with anyone. If your mom complains, tell her that you deserve a place where you feel safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend who I have been dating for a while and living with for a year deals with depression. Unfortunately this bleeds into everything. \n\nI have to fight for conversation, fight for equal effort, and fight for respect.\n\nToday I told him I'm done fighting. \n\nI'm writing a chore chart. It has me, my roomate, and him to do an equal amount of chores. The same thing every day\/week\/month each. This is to hold him accountable with minimum effort on my part. \n\nWhen I had to try to get a conversation instead of asking questions to get an answer I decided to walk away.\n\nI'm going to start watching my own shows by myself instead of begging him to. I'm going to go do the things I want to do by myself instead of being fine with begging him to. (We have had 4 dates in the past 6 mos.) I'm finding my own rock climbing buddy. \n\nIf he doesnt want to talk during meals I'm eating by the creek(we have 6 acres of land) \n\nIf he doesnt want to take the dog out with me I'm no longer going to bed him or change my own plans. I'll take her by myself.\n\nIf he doesnt want to meet my friends I'll plan to hang out with them by myself. \n\nI'm done putting in all the effort at my expense. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA, this will good for your relationship. You need boundaries and equal contribution. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today my mother saw a thing in her social media group where some of our neighborhood’s children recorded themselves saying a thank you message to the current frontline healthcare workers, and then playing a short musical piece on the piano\/violin. This is a sweet gesture, but my mother immediately decided my sister (13) should also record herself doing this because “it gives you a chance to develop public speaking skills.” My sister was reluctant to do it because she thinks it’s cringey and it’s clear that the other children’s parents also forced them to do this, but she caved in. \n\nWhile she was doing the recording, I was videocalling some friends who I haven’t talked to weeks. While I got caught up talking I overheard my mother yelling at my sister, likely because my sister wasn’t doing the recording the way she wanted it to. My sister then popped in my room and asked me “can you combine two videos clips together directly on the iPad?” I was talking with friends so I didn’t elaborate and said “no I don’t think you can, you probably need another app for that.” An hour later I was finished talking, and my mom came in the room, angry that I didn’t stop talking to my friends to help my sister edit the video which *she* was the one who basically forced her into doing.  My mother was also complaining about how she “had to learn how to use iMovie” in order to help my sister combine the clips.\n\nI didn’t confront my mother while she was yelling about how selfish of a sister I am, who only hangs out with my younger sister only when it’s convenient for me to do so, but inside I was thinking that it’s not fair I have to help my sister with this when my mother was the one who basically said “I want this recording done so you can be like the other kids” without providing any help or guidance to my sister. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, this was your Mother’s project.  She needed to do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for obvious reasons \n\nIn January when my sister (22) found out she's pregnant, the father isn't in the picture and she is currently single. She lives a state away and my (F16) parents have always treated us much different. \n\nI have nothing against my sister, she's great and I love her but after she left the house a few years back it's almost like my parents forgot they still had another kid to raise. I always felt like my wants and needs were put in the back burner, they were always too tired or too busy for me or any of my accomplishments. For example I got a piece of artwork sent to our state capitol for display and the only thing I got from my parents was a dismissive \"that's cool.\" I always felt like they had my sister so my mom could have a girl and had me so my dad could have a boy, which obviously didn't work out. \n\nCut to today and my parents are constantly swooning over how they can't wait to be grandparents. They buy huge gifts and make homemade clothes and furniture just for the baby. In my mind it's just my dad's second chance for a boy so they're going all out. I have never felt so unwanted in my life. Some examples of this include: \n\nmy dad saying he's gonna give the kid the pickup once they can drive (the pickup that was supposed to be mine)  My dad framing a bunch of my great-uncle's records to give to the kid (ones that are bands *I* enjoy) my mom constantly making stuff for the baby meanwhile she promised me a blanket and a hat. Plus many more\n\nI just feel like I don't even matter anymore, all they talk about is the baby and my sister lives an hour away! I get their excited but still. This all came to a head tonight when I asked for help on my math homework and they just ignored me. It feels like there's just a little voice in the back of my head telling me maybe if I get knocked up they'd care about me too. \n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, this really sucks for you and I totally empathise with your jealousy - it's not like you don't want your sister's kid to feel wanted, it's that YOU want to ALSO feel wanted, and there's nothing wrong with wanting that. Have you ever tried to tell your parents and\/or sister how your feeling? Could they be oblivious? ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there. \n\nBut my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.\n\nI think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.\n\nAITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ######","completion":" NTA, this pattern does not sound healthy at all. \n\nI'm really not sure what these other folks calling you the a-hole are thinking. Weed is like pretty much anything else: just fine in moderation, but represents significant harm if you overdo it, and not just for health reasons (although that's certainly in the picture here, I imagine). Too much of anything will interfere with the way you live your life, and the fact is, you're her boyfriend, and thus you're part of that life. It isn't just her life she's impacting with the constant weed dependency. It's yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's this business one of my closest friends wants to invest in. He says it will make loads of money. He asks me for money to start it up, saying he will pay me back double in three months. Keep in mind what he is asking for is not pennies, it's a huge amount of money (at least for a teenager anyways) Anyways, I tell him that l don't have that kind of money. He tells me to take some money out of my savings to help him out. I refuse saying that l worked hard for that money, I can't risk losing it. I have been saving up for the past year for an xbox one, he knows this. \n\nAnyways he explodes saying the way l don't care about him and l never have. He says a real friend would help him out. He says that l am not willing to take risks and that's why l will never move forward in life. He has this obsession with Bill Gates and wants to be a multi millionaire, like him.\n\nFor context, we are both 18. I am a girl, he is a boy. ######","completion":" NTA, this is why you have money and he doesnt. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this kid, we’ll call him michael. He did have special needs, and had a helper teacher with him at all times. One day, he was going through my backpack, looking for my rare Pokémon card binder. I’d always had them with me. I told him to get out of my bag, and he left, but with the binder. When I told his helper teacher to give the cards back she said “he has special needs, just let him have them. You don’t even have proof that they were yours.” I went ballistic. I yelled at her and Michael for god knows how long. I ended up getting in trouble with my teachers for yelling at a boy with special needs. He still has the binder. He took the chance for me to do things with the money I could’ve gotten with them. He made my dreams inaccessible. Am I the asshole for being mad at him?\n\nEdit; this was about three years ago, I no longer go to this school. My parents just say that there’s nothing they can do, and I should move on. ######","completion":" NTA, this is theft, get your parents involved and hopefully the principal. The teacher has no respect for your boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17 pre everything mtf) have recently realised that I would be comfortable in life as a transgender woman. Unfortunately due to conservative parents I’m going to have to wait until I move out to transition.\n\nWhen I realised this, the first person I told was my (now ex) girlfriend (17), a little bit of background she is clearly of Asian descent but her parents are white as snow, it’s clear to everyone shes adopted. She seemed supportive at first (using correct pronouns and my chosen name) she even said she would stay with me through my transition, I told her not to spread the word because my Dad could ship me off to conversion therapy if he heard about this.\n\nAt first I was happy to have told her but when I woke up I was flooded with messages from literally everybody in my year. Some where nice offering make up tips and the like, but some where calling slurs such as tranny or trap. And then I realised that there is a high likelihood that this is all going to get back to my Dad via people in my year telling their parents about the situation and then I’m royally screwed.\n\nI messaged my ex asking if she told anyone. She claimed to have only told a few. I then asked where literally everybody in my year knows now. She told me to grow up and how accepting people are. I then reminded her of my VERY conservative dad and she responded with an eye roll emoji. That really pissed me off so I said “At least my biological parents give a shit about me and didn’t just sell me out to some random ass family” she left me on read after this and according to her friend she was crying on FaceTime. \n\nIn hindsight I could see she meant well by telling her friends but I specifically told her not to because of the consequences that would unfold if the word got around. I feel like an asshole for what I just said but I suppose it’s up for you to decide. ######","completion":" NTA, this is horrible. I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did, she clearly doesn’t give a fuck that she put your entire life in danger so she could feel good about herself for 15 minutes. Please feel free to PM me if you need anything at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.\n\nMy older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.\n\nWhile my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.\n\nWhen he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.\n\nMy mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote \" if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it\". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.\n\nMy relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######","completion":" NTA, this is clear favouritism, if cutting him off makes you happier do it. There’s no point sticking with someone hurting you this much, even your dad. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: I am 16, mom is 49. \n\nMy mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping. \n\nMy mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time. \n\nHowever, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, this is a thoughtful gesture, especially coming from her daughter. I'm so confused why your friends think giving a gift is \"marketing\" off anything... ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old. \nOur relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.\n\nAnyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me \"hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol \"  and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions. \n\nI asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that \"we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?\" \n\nI do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing,  she just said \"yeah, and?\"\nI find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and \" just for fun.\"\n\nShe thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous. \nMeanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards. \n\n\nAdditional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is. \nAlso non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ######","completion":" NTA, this is a huge red flag. If this makes you uncomfortable and she’s ignoring it then something needs to change. She’s not respecting your boundaries, and the history with this guy is just the cherry on top of a sh*t sundae. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have 2 daughters (10f,14f) and I have a son (13m). My son and daughter (10f) aren't really in this situation \n\nMy 14 year old daughter has never liked pork. Me and my son love to eat it, so it's on the table a lot of the time. And my daughter would sometimes eat the pork, but never really liked it. \n\nAbout a few months ago my daughter came up to me and told me she has decided she wants to stop eating pork completely. \n\nAnd of course I've supported her in her decision. I started buying Turkey pepperoni and I would make a steak ormake some chicken whenever we were having pork. I'm just trying to make her happy. \n\nA few days ago my daughter came up to me and asked if we would stop eating pork around her because she feels like we aren't being supportive of her decision. \n\nI told her I absolutely support her, but I'm going to eat it when I want. She then said that by not supporting her I'm a horrible father. And I told her that I have made sure that she doesn't have to eat any of the pork by cooking other meats instead. She then stormed off and complained to my wife.\n\nMy wife says that we should just stop eating it all around. But I told her that's not happening. \n\nSo AITA ######","completion":" NTA, this is a good opportunity to talk about boundaries, she has control over her body and what she eats, but not what anyone else eats ######"}
{"prompt":"Five of my friends and I are planning a camping trip soon. 3 girls and 3 guys. We're gonna have seperate girls and guys tents.\n\nMy friend Joe is dating this girl Meg. And often times I've seen her at a party, she gets trashed... Like puking, too drunk to stand, etc...\n\nJoe said he wasn't sure if he could go because Meg didn't want him camping without her. I said that's all fine, I'd like him to come because we all miss him and want to see him, but if he couldn't go, it's all good.\n\nHe asked me later if he could go and bring Meg. \n\nI had some worries, like we're all gonna be drinking on this trip and I don't feel like she can moderate herself. Especially because we're only bringing liquor because that's easier to pack in.\n\nHad a bunch of worries like her falling drunk into the river or campfire, falling and getting hurt in the woods, puking in the tent or otherwise wrecking the tent, etc. Breaking bottles in the woods. Stuff I wouldn't have to worry about with anyone else in the group.\n\nI said I'd rather not invite Meg. I tried to put it nicely and say that she tends to drink more heavily than the rest of us and I'd be worried about her in the woods.\n\nSo Joe told Meg no, I think he had a talk with her to say that she wouldn't be able to go but he'd really like to.\n\nAnd she texted me and blew up at me for trying to take Joe camping but not letting her come, saying that was not appropriate to do with someone in a relationship. Saying some nasty stuff about me and how I'm too childish and selfish to understand what a relationship is like and that you can't just do anything you want.\n\nI haven't said anything back yet, I'm thinking about what to say. \n\nAITA for how I handled the camping invites? ######","completion":" NTA, this is a friends camping trip and she’s not in your friend group, she’s just in a relationship with someone in it. To be fair I’m biased because I think any relationship where someone tries to stop you from doing things with your friends is awful but that’s their prerogative ig. But it’s not your relationship and you bear no responsibility to her jealousy issues. You invited your friend, not his gf. You didn’t pressure him to come and not every invite has to include a plus one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic.  I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister.  I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can.  To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself.\n\nI've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me.  I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me.  I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them.  She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run.  This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents.  When I got upset, he slunk off pouting.\n\nMy sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food?\n\nP.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ######","completion":" NTA, this is a common problem though. Whenever I buy something I don’t want to share I have to keep it in my room because my parents guilt trip me if I don’t willingly share it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is bisexual. I got no problem with his lifestyle. Before you want to burn me i'm a bisexual male also. But when my son is online with his friends as a joke or a gesture. He makes a slurping noice. I mean i'm not stupid. I know what it insinuates. As his dad it just creeps me out. I told him if anyone of my other kids did it. I would say the same thing. I asked him nicely. I just said hey umm don't you think that would make me a tad uncomfortable? I respect he lives here at home and helps us out. ######","completion":" NTA, this has nothing to do with his sexual orientation. You are simply asking your son to respect your boundaries as his dad and not make sexual references in front of you. It makes no different what kind of genitalia he is referencing, it is still disrespectful to you.\n\nEdit grammar ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.\n\nMy family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8\/9. \n\nWhen I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school. \n\nSome of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t. \n\nI had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.\n\nMy grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often. \n\nI still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year. \n\nI was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.\n\nI come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age. \n\nI lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.” \n\nDead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ######","completion":" NTA, they were berating you you defended yourself ######"}
{"prompt":"I typed this on my phone, so sorry if I make any mistakes lol.\n\nI do a lot of freelance work through instagram, work that consists of editing photos and videos. I am entering my junior year in high school, so this is how I make my own money. I do get a lot of clients, and I have frequent clients who come back constantly.\n\nI had this one client who started up their youtube channel. I designed their logo, banner, and I edit all of their videos and make all of their thumbnails. I worked with them for almost a year and got paid about 500 dollars or so. Back in March, they asked for me to edit some videos of theirs (they record a couple in advance and upload them as soon as they receive the final version), but the problem was that because of COVID, they didn't have their paycheck yet and they were asking if they could pay later. I usually never do this but I said okay, since I have been working with them for a while now. Then in March, the same problem happened. Me being stupid said sure. In the end I edited about 12 videos, and made 12 thumbnails. I woke up the next day and they blocked me. They stole my work and uploaded it and they didn't pay me.\n\nI was livid. I used to do free work and I stopped because the feeling of not being compensated for hard work is just horrible. One time, their internet was down so they asked me to upload this video I had edited. They gave me their Gmail email and their password that time. So, I turned on my computer and I logged in. They didn't have a 2FA setup, so I linked my phone number and I changed the password. I hid their youtube account (so it's not completely gone), and I sent them fifty cents through CashApp and told them if they didn't pay me what I deserved I would delete it.\n\nFast forward a few days, I get a notification from my CashApp, that I got paid, and they unblocked me from Instagram, and dm'd me. I disabled 2FA, unhid their youtube channel, and gave them their account back. I blocked them right after. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, they tried to shortchange you and you took control of your work. I think you know it now, but get the payment before handing over finished, publishable work in the future. You might also look into ways of copyrighting your work so you can just go through YouTube and file copyright strikes against them when\/if this happens again (I would suggest severing ties after this fiasco) ######"}
{"prompt":"Reddit,\n\nI need a sanity check.\n\nI got someone who bought a AIO pc that's obviously not for gaming, they offered me a lower than asking price, by a lot, and I accepted. WCGW (paid 350 from 600 asking if anyone is curious)\n\nits been less than 12 hours since we exchanged and they are now crying for a refund because... you guessed it, it doesn't play video games.\n\nbefore anyone decides to be a wiseguy, the PC is completely functional and the display is flawless (no dead pixels). They even admitted over text that they don't want it anymore because it doesn't play any games.\n\nits got an i3, 8gb of ram and a 256gb ssd. On one side, I don't want to because there's no way to prove they didn't tamper with it (ad was deleted off letgo as soon as it was handed off so I can't even prove the original specs I sold it with), on another side, I don't really care about buyers remorse.\n\nAITA if I lowkey don't want to refund the person and .... don't? ######","completion":" NTA, they should've done their homework, or straight up asked you if it'd run games. Honestly, had they looked around at all the idea of getting an AIO wouldn't have been an option. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls. \n\nAITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ######","completion":" NTA, they should have planned better. Even if they had told you way more in advance you still have your mental health to consider. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.\n\nThey kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.\n\nI have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA, they seem like a jerk, no reason to be friends with them is they’re just going to bully you all the time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150\/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######","completion":" NTA, they need to follow the contract they signed. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nBackground: \nLast night my kiddo, fiancé and I were talking about household stuff. Started having a bit of fun by using other languages. (Kiddo and I speak some Spanish and French, fiancé doesn’t) we were literally speaking nonsense just to make fiancé laugh. \nKiddo says “casse-toi!” Then gets this weird look on her face and says \n“You know, I don’t know if casse-toi means fuck you or good evening...”\nFiancé and I fell over laughing. The combination of kiddos confusion and the look on her face was just too much.\n\nThis is where I may have screwed up. I posted her quote on Facebook. Most of my friends thought it was hilarious. But I’ve started getting nasty messages from some people. Essentially the messages all boil down to me being a horrible parent because I let my kid swear at home without punishing her.\nI’ve always let my kids swear at home. The rule is basically use the word appropriately, don’t call names and don’t use foul language in front of elders or at school. Kids have always followed the rules without issue. \nAmita here? ######","completion":" Nta, they don’t like your parenting style and want to shame you for it.  You are the parent not them sooo doesn’t really matter what they think. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer. \n\nMy mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back.\n\nNow, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister. \n\nShe has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad. \n\nI kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######","completion":" NTA, they could have given your sister your old computer. They told you something was your and then gifted it to someone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so this is pretty funny I know \nI got fired today from a studio I was working in as a tattoo artist. I did not get a proper reason to why and my boss fired me over text. I'm pretty upset over it and I lashed out on him because he sees me almost everyday yet did not have the guts to do it face to face. He also did not complain about anything I've done (nor my tattoos) and just couldn't seem to give me an actual valid reason so I'm still confused. \n\nI can't sue him because we don't have a contract and I'm a freelancer (most tattoo artist in my country are freelancers) \n\nI also had to find another job because he didn't forward any clients to me (I still don't have enough of my own clients to provide for me.) Anyway I didn't really lose any money over this.\n\n\nOkay to the point-\nI had a really great pair of scissors and I brought it to the studio for the staff and for me to use because the studio had only very shitty scissors and no one bothered to buy any new ones. (Also I would bring baked goods and whatnot all the time, made sketches for my boss to tattoo... I did A LOT in that studio)\n\nSo my scissors are the most popular ones in the studio right now and i want them back. \n\nI want to take them back without telling anyone.\nI know it's pretty passive aggressive of me but I feel like this was really unfair and screw the owner?? \n\nSo WIBTA if I take them back without anyone knowing? They are used by everyone so they're not really only mine when they're there. ######","completion":" NTA, they are your property, it isn't 'stealing'. Super shady circumstances surrounding the firing though, sounds like you're well rid of that (ex) boss. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me \"dad.\" I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.   \n\nBoth my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.\n\nMy brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ######","completion":" NTA, they are your kids. Your opinion is the only one that matters. When they’re older and if want to speak to him, it’s up to them ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements.  Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped.  In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse.  If I call the cops, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, they are in the wrong for not using their vehicles in a safe manner. Please call the police, it's a better lesson than if they learn it from one of the kids dying. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is an avid computer gamer - mostly WoW-type games. Approximately five nights of the week, he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8:00 or 8:30 to about 12:30, so at least four continuous hours. That in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship. He spends plenty of time with me and our son, and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online.\n\nA few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online, and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs. I fell pretty hard and dropped the basket. Luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards, resulting in a bruise on my butt but I was otherwise fine. The laundry basket clattered down the stairs, ricocheted off some basement furniture, shot laundry everywhere. It was a huge racket. It woke up my son. My husband, who had his headphones on, heard literally nothing.\n\nIt dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me, my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours - like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs? So I asked if he would be willing, for my peace of mind, to just pop out of his office at the mid-point each night just to check on me. Like literally, just say hi and go back to gaming. He thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time. I know for a fact that he isn't actively playing the entire time and he sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, so how is this different? AITA? ######","completion":" Nta, there's a story somewhere on Reddit about a guy upstairs playing games with noise cancelling headphones. People broke in and attacked his wife (possibly sexually assaulted her, I can't remember). This is a totally valid request. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this kid, we’ll call him michael. He did have special needs, and had a helper teacher with him at all times. One day, he was going through my backpack, looking for my rare Pokémon card binder. I’d always had them with me. I told him to get out of my bag, and he left, but with the binder. When I told his helper teacher to give the cards back she said “he has special needs, just let him have them. You don’t even have proof that they were yours.” I went ballistic. I yelled at her and Michael for god knows how long. I ended up getting in trouble with my teachers for yelling at a boy with special needs. He still has the binder. He took the chance for me to do things with the money I could’ve gotten with them. He made my dreams inaccessible. Am I the asshole for being mad at him?\n\nEdit; this was about three years ago, I no longer go to this school. My parents just say that there’s nothing they can do, and I should move on. ######","completion":" Nta, there may be nothing you can do now but you don’t wanna blame yourself for that. I’m guessing they were rare? ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad lost his job and my mom hasn’t worked in 30 years. They’ve been living outside their means since I went to college and unsurprisingly had to move out of their apartment just before covid and anti eviction stuff happened because they didn’t have rent money. They moved in with us since my sister lives in Germany.\n\nSince then they’ve constantly been making these little comments that eat away at me, like my husband doesn’t work hard enough, or I don’t cook enough, etc. I had just been taking it since they’re my parents but yesterday my husband was napping on the sofa and I wanted to watch tv so I had him lay his head on my lap.\n\nLater my mom asked me if I am sure he’s not gay since it was “effeminate” for him to put his head in my lap. The homophobia aside I don’t understand how putting his head in HIS WIFE’S lap, who is a WOMAN, is gay.\n\nI finally had it and sat them both down and said that if they are going to continue to stay with us they would have to stop making comments, and if they didn’t I would make them leave.\n\nThey started telling me how I’m a horrible daughter because I would be willing to kick my own parents to the curb over comments that were meant to help me and were made in good faith. I don’t understand how they could have been in good faith but now I feel bad.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, their comments are despicable. Here you are generously opening your home to them in their time of need, and all they can do is insult you? Wow. I would absolutely kick someone out of my home for behaving like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) have been friends with this girl (18F) for a couple of years. She’s always had problems at home and has a lot of trauma from it. I’ve always helped her and stood by her. Last year she started doing a lot of weird things without telling anyone but me. Things that could put her in serious danger, like wanting to meet up with a 38 year old man for example. This stuff put a lot of pressure and stress on me as she can be pretty mean when things are going bad as well. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to a psychologist but I, of course, can’t force her and this lead to me playing her psychologist for a long time. \n\nI was mentally and emotionally drained. It was so bad that I had to go to a therapist myself and eventually she taught me how to set boundaries. \n\nNow that she’s doing bad again and can’t talk maturely about it (but keeps dropping all her problems on me), I told her that I couldn’t do it anymore and I only wanted to deal with her problems if she was able to talk normally about them. I’ve decided not to talk to her until she comes to me. \n\nI feel really guilty about it, as she might need me. But I feel like this is for my own well-being. ######","completion":" Nta, the worst is trying to help someone who can't even be bothered to help themselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Let me start of by saying that for those who don’t know the history of the swastika, it has been used in India by Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains for thousands of years as a sacred symbol before it was appropriated by the Nazis for their evil genocidal agenda. As a result, most portraits of Hindu gods and goddesses, a few of which I have hung up in my apartment (I am a Hindu) contain images of the swastika. An acquaintance of mine (not close) entered my apartment a few days ago and seemed shocked: he first accused me of being a Nazi sympathizer! Needless to say, I disabused him of this notion and told him about the history of the symbol in Indian culture. He then told me that I ought to cover up the swastika symbols on my posters because since the Nazis have used the symbol, it is no longer appropriate to display, but I think this is entirely the wrong approach: refusing to display a symbol sacred in my culture for thousands of years because the Nazis used it would be like letting them win. He then said I was being very insensitive and called me a pretentious asshole for expecting everyone to know the history of the swastika. If you go to India, you will see the swastika everywhere and needless to say, the people who display it are not Nazi sympathizers. However, I also know that cultural standards in the US are different from in India and have no desire to be an asshole or pretentious. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, the swastika is a traditional symbol in Indian culture appropriated by the Nazis. It is culturally meaningful and should not be covered up. Many people don’t know the history and you have an opportunity to educate them about it if they see the posters and have questions. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is pregnant, and she lives with us. She’s 19. My parents have made me her personal care taker. Anything she needs it’s my responsibility to get no matter what. 1 am and she wants ice cream? Guess who’s driving to the store. And that actually happened. It was before quarantine so going to the store for her doesn’t happen anymore but she’s still a bitch about everything.\n\nWhen she threw up I had to hold her hair, if she wanted a drink she couldn’t be bothered to get up, I have to get it. She’s pregnant not quadriplegic, she can get her own fucking drink.\n\nIf I ever complain about it my parents lecture me about caring for loved ones when they need it and threaten to take away my computer. I paid for the computer by the way, I worked an actual job for it, none of the money came from them.\n\nI finally lost it yesterday when she asked me to give her a foot rub. I told her I wasn’t doing that and she cried to our parents who started lecturing me. I told them to fuck off and take the computer because I didn’t care, and they called me a spoiled brat and grounded me. Not like I can go anyway, because of the virus. My sister is now demanding foot rubs again or she’ll go to my parents.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, the only thing your parents are doing are enabling learned helplessness. Where is the expected father? ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and on mobile\n\nSo my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.\n\nMy father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings.  So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.\n\nI believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.\n\nEdit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######","completion":" NTA, the money is yours as stated in your father's will. Your siblings treated your father poorly after the divorce despite his attempts to keep in touch with them. Don't give them any money, follow your father's last wish. As for giving it to charity, the money is yours and you can do whatever you want with it ######"}
{"prompt":"I )f27) have been with my fiancé (m34) for about 4 years now and we’re getting married this winter. My fiancé has two kids from a previous relationship, whom I love dearly. I’ve been teaching his eldest child piano for about three years now. We have our first dance song picked out to be When You Say You Love Me by Josh Groban, and I thought it would be a lovely surprise for my fiancé if his daughter played the song on piano for us as a surprise. She’s super excited about the idea and can’t wait to surprise her daddy with this.\n\nSo because she’s going to perform this at the wedding, she’s been practicing it a lot. Apparently her mom asked her why she kept playing it on piano all the time (can’t practice at our place as easily in order to preserve the surprise). She told her mom what we had planned for our wedding, and her mom was surprisingly pretty mad about this.\n\nI got a text from her telling me how inappropriate it was to have their daughter play a song like this (like, hello?! It’s an innocent love song at our wedding for crying out loud) and that she wants me to put an end to this idea immediately. I’m at a loss for words. I’ve met her a handful of times, but I don’t really know her as I’ve always left the parenting between my fiancé and his ex, as I figured it wasn’t my place. We’ve always been civil though, so I don’t know what to make of this.\n\nAITA here, for wanting my soon to be step daughter to play this at our wedding? I just thought it was a great idea, but her mom is adamant that I don’t allow this. ######","completion":" NTA, the biomom is probably having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're bonding with her daughter and that you two have something you share now (piano). Biomom feels excluded from her daughter's life and her ex is moving on, she took it out on you. Not very mature, hopefully she'll find a better way of handling this ######"}
{"prompt":"This was a good while ago but I just realized maybe I could confirm what I thought.\n\nMy Context: I wrote a story and it was one of the best I had written in a good long while. My mom loved it and wanted to post it to Facebook. I was excited, I love sharing my stories! So she posts it and then later I go on Facebook for the first time in a while to see my story with no credit. All of the comments are telling my mom how amazing of a writer she is. I wrote it, not her, it really hurt my feelings. It felt like she took credit for my work. So I told her she needs to credit me. She argued that she wanted genuine reactions without credit or context. But that's not how it came off. \nAlso during this time, she tried to get me to make a big piece of art for no money. I'm her family, I dont need money.\n\nHer context (to the best of my ability)(im still using I for myself and she for my mom): I wrote a good story, she wanted to share it. She wanted a genuine reaction so she posted it without credit but then I got mad. To her, it feels like I dont trust her. Do I really think she would take credit for my work? Why would I think that? She just doesn't get it. Even after I changed it to give myself credit, she was still offended because I \"accused\" her of stealing my work.\nAnd why should she have to pay for artwork I made, it's for a friend and a family member! Why do I demand to get paid?\n\nThe story context doesn't matter and the artwork was a T-shirt design for a retiring coworker (who I have never met). I didn't have the proper programs to draw what she wanted so that's why I raised the price even higher.\n\nI hope I gave enough context, if we need more I can come back and edit it. ######","completion":" NTA, Thats shitty and gross of her to snatch your story and refuse to credit. & side note- you have every right to charge adequately for your work, that doesnt make you an asshole either. Sorry you're having to deal with that, man :,\/ ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away. \n\nSo now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve. \n\nSo here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week. \n\nSo here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :\/ \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s very reasonable. It’s also a lot for you to give up, and no one could\/should blame you for wanting to proceed with caution. ######"}
{"prompt":"He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am. \n\nHere's how that conversation went:\n\nMe: What time does Jim leave tomorrow? \n\nBf: 6:45. \n\nMe: WOW that's early. \n\nBf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5. \n\nMe: What? Me? What are you talking about?\n\nBf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him. \n\nI had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off. \n\nI really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s very presumptuous of him. And if he doesn’t have to be at work until 7:30 he can drive him. Also there’s taxi and Uber. ######"}
{"prompt":"As the title suggests, I can't believe I'm actually making this post. Throwaway account obviously.\n\nI (23F) have always disagreed with my mother (60F) on various things politically, but I'm not going to detail them here because I don't think they are very relevant to the discussion at hand. She's just a really conservative woman is the background I'm trying to provide here. We are not religious.\n\nAnyways, today I walked downstairs to make breakfast for both of us in my nightgown (just a plain one, nothing funky, not see-through obviously) and shorts. My entire chest was covered to the neck nor was I showing shoulders. She stared at me for a while, and commented that I should not walk down like \"I'm not wearing anything underneath\" as my dad (63M, we have an ordinary relationship) may see it and get ideas. I was shocked and said, 1 I am wearing nothing revealing (not a bikini suit) and 2 it's very disturbing that she would suggest my dad would get incestuous thoughts from looking at his damn daughter. She got defensive and backtracked saying it's just not in accordance with her views and \"men would be men\" and to which point I had enough and blew up at her, saying I couldn't believe she would suggest her husband and daughter would have such thoughts just because I wore something that is as short to my thighs. I said \"If it bothers you SO MUCH I'll just go change into long pants and a shirt in this 40 C summer weather\". Now she's saying I over-reacted and put words in her mouth and think I'm the AH. My dad is not home yet and I am honestly way too embarrassed to bring this up and hope that she doesn't either. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s super creepy. I hope your dad and you have continued to have a normal relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my Bf been together for 4 years we have our own place but the funny thing is 2 of his friends are roommates who live right next to us. My sister came by last week so I could watch my niece (7 months) while she went to work but my Bf came out the room in nothing but his underwear my sister was rightly embarrassed and left quickly I told him that he can't do that and he should at least wear pants and doesn't have to wear a shirt. He told me he refused to be uncomfortable in his own house. I tried to talk it out but he brushed it for fine. His friends come over in the living room just talk I come out the room with the tighest shirt i own and his favorite pair of panties he likes me to wear and fix a PP &amp; J sandwich (you can still see the kitchen from the living room) I can feel the death glare in the back of my hard and walked back to our room. After that he sent to boys home and hell broke lose  \n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s hilarious and I’m so glad you were brave enough to pull that off. Double standards suck and he’s a hypocrite. Great way to teach him lol ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F32) husband (M45) and I have been together for 9 years. The entire course of our relationship he has obsessively cleared his search history, text messages, emails, Instagram, etc. It has always bothered me but he has always insisted he has nothing to hide he just has bad OCD and prefers everything to be clear. In hindsight, I wish I had pushed a bit more, but knowing him and knowing how bad his OCD can be, I believed him. We share finances, I have access to his email (both our emails are linked on Gmail sign in), etc. For the longest time, he made me feel that any suspicion was just in my head and that I have trust issues, etc. Additionally - though we have an active sex life, I have a higher libido than he does and generally I feel we lack a sense of intimacy.\n\nI don't know what came over me, but a few days ago I snooped on his Instagram while he was in the shower. I found a message with a user I don't know (private account, clearly a throwaway username) where they had been sending hot models back and forth to each other. In the last message, my husband sent the user a link to a model's Patreon and asked him to send her $ and he would reimburse. (I presume so a charge to Patreon wouldn't appear on our cc statement).\n\nI sat on the information for a few days, trying to process and talk myself off the ledge. Ultimately, I confronted him. I felt betrayed, hurt, confused...I feel like I've been gaslit our entire marriage and I don't know how I will ever trust him again. He thinks I am overreacting to the Nth degree, that \"everybody\" does this (this is what Instagram is for, apparently), etc. \n\nHe really wants me to move on and is sulking, feeling hurt by my snooping on his phone. I am heartbroken, unable to look him in the eye, feeling like we won't be able to come back from this since I don't know how I can trust him again.\n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s called cheating. He very clearly has been doing it for a long time, and I know it’s a Crap situation. But he doesn’t care as much as you want him to. Right now, he’s fussy because you’ve caught him-the guy clearly thinks he’s entitled to talking to whoever he wanted for very clearly distrustful reasons. \n\nIn fact, he was actively covering it up. For a long, long time. Constantly gaslighting you and manipulating you along the way. I am honestly, truly sorry. I know reddit has a habit of going straight to divorce papers-but you’ve gotta do some more digging. And breaking apart is honestly sounding like it’s the best option for you. You’re not a side fling for him to pull along while he rattles away at his other options. ######"}
{"prompt":"So it’s about 1:15 AM and I check my Instagram before bed. I watch my girlfriend’s story and say something about it to her.  She says “you’re just watching my story now?” To which I say, yes. It’s the only story I’ve watched today. \n\n“I post very relevant things.  Sometimes to the point where I can’t believe you haven’t watched...”\n\nI told her that I care more about the in person relationships I have and that it bothers me that we even value social media to the extent we do. I’m your partner, not your #1 fucking insta-follower.  Sorry I moved across the country and got a job here so we could be together and NOT have to only communicate over social media... and if were still across the world, I wouldn’t want your insta story to be my main sense of connection to you.  Goddamn, we’re fucking 30 years old. How is this an issue?  This is the primary thing she ever gets mad at me about.  Am I the asshole here for not giving a shit about Instagram stories or am I missing something? ######","completion":" NTA, that’s a very odd reaction to that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96. \nWe live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members. \n\nHence, I dont have my own room in my own house.\nMy grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago. \n\nWhen the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.\n\nI am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom. \n\nSTILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that's rough buddy ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a year ago:\n\nI'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.\n\nMy niece saw it and very innocently asked. \"Why is she naked?\"\n\n I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.\n\n*\"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top.\"*\n\nShe seemed amused by that.\n\nWell a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. \"did- did this artist draw these people naked too?\"\n\nI chuckle and say, \"yeah, probably.\"\nMy niece chuckles with me. \n\nAt that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *\"That's disgusting...\"* and walks away. \n\nI felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ######","completion":" NTA, that's kind of endearing actually ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run\/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.\n\nThis woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.\n\nSo, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, \"Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?\" To which I replied, \"Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high.\" She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm. \n\nI came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that's hilarious. Yes, she is insecure, and that's sad. But she tried to made that insecurity your problem, so you have every right to hand it back to her and make her deal with it herself.\n\nSometimes I think that women like that really want to control their partners, but they can't so instead try to control all the women around their partners. They are both controlling and deluded. ######"}
{"prompt":"So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.\n\nSo at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?\n\nBut she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)\n\nShe wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.\n\nThis time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that's a very reasonable boundary to set. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nThis has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.\n\nSome backstory:\nI don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.\n\nRecently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard. \nA week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.\nSo, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .\nI was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her  family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.\n\nI felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that was very much not the right response to hearing someone has cancer. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the past 2 years me and my gf have been dating, she has never known what she wants to eat. Me or her sister can ask her what she wants and she will respond with \"I'm not sure, what sounds good to you?\" Then I'll begin listing off all the options around us fast food wise. She will proceed to tell me no on everything I say, to which I then start naming things we can buy at Walmart and she starts saying no to those things as we would have to \"wait forever for them to cook\" or she doesn't \"feel like X meat\"\n\nThis morning I'm going over the options again, and of course things play out about like this and she calls me mean for pointing out that she never knows what she wants.\n\nAITA?\n\nEdit: to respond to the person asking what I said, all I said was \"you never know what you want to eat\". I never get an attitude with her about it, and she knows I'm not mad. Or atleast I hope she does lol\n\nEdit 2: it's a Christmas miracle, she said she wants pizza ######","completion":" NTA, that sounds incredibly annoying. Stop giving her a million options and just pick without her if she refuses to weigh in with ideas. ######"}
{"prompt":"Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance  limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs. \n\n Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds).  Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm. \n\n We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything.  Smell from feces is unbearable.\n\nWe filed complaint with Zoning Dept.  Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs.  \n\nAre we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ######","completion":" NTA, that sounds a lot like animal hoarding, so she might have other issues to contend with. I wish you luck but from my experience with living next to a neighbor with that condition you're in for a long, bumpy ride. ######"}
{"prompt":"Where to begin? So at the age of 16 my parents forced me to get a job and i was excited to earn money but when my first check came my parents demanded that i give them my whole check, so i did. This went on for 2 years. Along the way i would ask my parents for money to buy things such as games and clothes and was always told that it was used either for paying bills or buying food. Mid way through the second year i accepted that i would never see a dime of my work and became content knowing that at 18 i would move out and keep working. Along the way i got so fustrated with my parents that i would hardly talk to them when i turned 18 i moved out without telling my parents where. They called me a month after moving out and asked me if by them giving me my money if it would fix things but i told them that i did not want my money and that they were dead to me. Im 32 years old now and havent spoken to them since i was 18. Mind you i worked 4 hrs a day 6 days a week at night while going to school for 2 years and in the summer it was full time. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, That said if you’re thinking about it 14 years later and asking this question on reddit, we all know it’s not about you not wanting your own money. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.\nAnyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.\nA few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject. \nNot wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk.  I wasn’t.\nSo I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth. \nAfter that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l\nnarcissistic tendencies. \nBut some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ######","completion":" NTA, that person is not your friend!! ######"}
{"prompt":"I was married to Jason for thirteen years and we shared two children, Hannah is twelve and Noah is nine. Our marriage ended rather abruptly but it didn’t come as a big surprise. We hadn’t been happy for years.\n\nJason began dating Emily who is fifteen years his junior shortly after the divorce. They’ve been married now for three years and she’s thirty so it’s not like he married some college kid but I still have an issue with her lack of maturity sometimes.\n\nThis was all very hard on Hannah. She doesn’t like Emily and is in counseling to deal with her jealousy towards her. The truth is I don’t like Emily very much either but I do expect my kids to be respectful.\n\nHannah came to me crying last night and told me that when she was at her dads this weekend she put Emily’s toothbrush in the toilet. I guess Jason found her doing this and he said it was really funny and to let him see the toothbrush. He scrubbed the toilet and I guess she thought they were going to prank Emily together but when he was done he told Hannah to brush her teeth with it. \n\nNow I fully understand how wrong Hannah was but I can’t get the image of her crying and gagging while being forced to use the toothbrush out of my head. He then made her tell Emily what she had done and do chores to earn money to buy a new toothbrush. I’m fine with that but actually making her out it in her mouth pissed me off.\n\nI’ll admit I don’t know if this was all about Hannah. Jason’s been a different person since he met Emily and it’s hard to watch him fawn over his gorgeous thirty year old wife. I called at one in the morning and I could tell I woke him and I went off on him. I told him how selfish he is and how he puts Emily before our kids. Still I feel like some of this was motivated by my own feelings so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that is just horrifying. What she did was wrong, but HE is the adult and the punishment doesn't fit the crime. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know how I’m the asshole. But, hey. \n \nMy fiancée and I had a small fight. I wanted her to sleep earlier because she usually sleeps at 3. I wanted that because I really want to cuddle with her when I sleep.\n \nI’m not really religious or superstitious, but she wanted us to go to this Chinese restaurant that has pretty weird and “true” fortunes. She begged me to go just for the fortunes, and we went today. When she read her fortune, I just laughed. It just said “Lose your next argument, and then you shall be more free”. I mean, it’s pretty funny and ironic.\n \nShe got mad at me laughing somehow. That I was being demeaning to her. Idk\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, that is funny and ironic. And if all you did was chuckle then I think she may be overreacting ######"}
{"prompt":"So my gf and I have been live together for about 6 months, she moved a few hours away from her home to live with me. This was her moms first visit here this weekend. \n\nI’m currently on night shift for a few weeks, I work 7pm to 7am with 2 hours drive time to and from. I went to bed around 11 and the gf’s mom was coming that day, she got here around 12. My gf told her to be quiet since I’m working nights so sleeping during the day. \n\nAt around 12:30 she comes in my room, wakes me up and tells me “stop being so lazy, you don’t need to sleep all day, now help carry my bags from my car”. I flipped out, told her to fuck off and grab her own bags and stay out of my room. I had about 1.5h of sleep so far so not in a good mood. Well let’s just say she turned into a miserable cunt all weekend. \n\nSo aita here? Did I go too far ######","completion":" NTA, telling you you’re being lazy after you’ve only been at home a few hours and had less than 2 hours of sleep is totally disrespectful to you in your own home.  \n\nI am not at all following anyone who says you’re the ass hole after she verbally attacked you without provocation in this way, that’s utterly fucked - the only  more appropriate response that jumps to mind would have been something like “How dare you speak to me in that way, who do you think you are, this is my home, I worked all night, leave here this instant and do not come back, you are not welcome.” ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone,\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nnow I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me.\n\nI had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low.\n\nWhile following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it.  \nNow here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload.\n\nI feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do.\n\nI will probably decide by your answers what to do. ######","completion":" NTA, technically she should do the right thing and reimburse you, but maybe offer to let her pay you back in installments?\nIf the money really is \"nothing\" for you to pay out of pocket and you wanted to be nice and not take all her savings she'd probably appreciate it but it really depends on whether you'd be comfortable with that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######","completion":" NTA, Take care of yourself first, really. The fact that they all groaned and rolled their eyes and  mocked you for being fiscally responsible shows that you need to keep your money. Don't let them guilt you into it.  \n\n\nEspecially if they aren't willing to help him themselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because he knows my reddit. I (20M) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for about a year now. I love him to death, but he never takes off sweatpants. He wore sweatpants to my best friend's wedding, to Easter, to Christmas, to meet my parents, to meet my grandparents, and he wears them for every date night out. It makes me feel crappy because I try to put effort into my appearance when we go out, and he never does the same. Every time I bring that up he gets angry at me.\n\nNow that restrictions in our country are being lifted, we can go out to see friends and family again. Today, we were going to my parents' house to have lunch, and he, as usual, put on sweats. I pulled him aside, and said,\n\"Babe, can you please wear something nice to see my parents? I put in effort to my appearance to leave the house, and it would be nice if you did the same.\"\n\nHe then went off at me, calling me an asshole for trying to control how he looks, and says if I can't accept his \"grunge aesthetic\" then we can't be together.\n\nI have nothing against sweatpants, but in my culture, it is considered taboo and inappropriate to wear sweatpants in most social situations (except the gym). Am I the asshole for wanting him to just put some effort into his appearance when we leave the house together? ######","completion":" NTA, sweatpants just aren’t appropriate for some occasions. Like who the hell wears sweatpants to a wedding? ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright so. Within the span of a few months of moving into our new house, with a generous three toilets for each family member, my mother has clogged her own toilet. And refused to unclog it. Or even make an attempt. She insists it's too far gone for her to deal with, but refuses to accept any help in fixing it, mine or a professional's.\n\nInstead, she's been using my toilet. And clogging it. And then leaving it for me to find.\n\nToday, at a wonderous 1:30 A.M, I attempted to use my toilet. Only to be abruptly snapped out of my sleepy daze when I felt toilet water rise and brush my asschecks. This is the fifth time she has done this and left it unattended for me to find, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning, not to mention stomping in and out of my room unannounced at all hours to use my toilet.\n\nSo, out of anger, I stomped into her room unannounced and had a pretty heated argument with her. She said she felt humiliated about clogging the toilet. I said she should grow up (which might have been a bit uncalled for, especially considering the hour.) She tried to insist I should just go downstairs and use my dad's toilet. Which he never cleans. And he cannot aim. There are sticky piss puddles down there. The cat's litterbox is in there too. It reeks.\n\nI told her she picked a man who can't aim his own piss and if she needs to shit so bad she should be the one braving his pig-sty.\n\nShe's been telling all her friends about how I humiliated her in the middle of the night\/berated her\/etcetra as well as going on her guilt-trippy rants about how she's \"\"Apparently such a pig, wah wah wah, my son doesn't love me.\"\" Despite me never having said anything of that sort. I just want to be able to pee without worrying about my mother's feces gently caressing my butthole\n\nI'm aware this is really, really petty but quarantine has driven me insane, especially since my mother and father and I have such different views on what's considered clean. ######","completion":" NTA, start locking your bathroom, tbh. But leave her access to a plunger and put a plumber's business card on the fridge. That shits gross, what the hell. Congratulations on being a more put together adult than your parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my brother has been seeing this girl for about 5\/6 years. For the past 4 they’ve lived with my parents and I’ve had the ~absolute pleasure~ of bearing witness to every single fight.\n\nShe buys the wrong brand of toilet paper? Screaming match where he berates her and calls her stupid. She forgets to tell him she picked up an extra shift? He calls her repeatedly at work and yells about what a lying cheating terrible person she is. And he cheats, anything walks by, he sleeps with it.\n\nWell today she had enough. She left him saying that she makes him miserable (something he tells her even though she’s the most amazing sweet person ever) and she can’t do it anymore.\n\nMy parents don’t know the depth to the terrible entitled monster they raised, and said it was both of their faults and she could continue to live in the hues bedroom if she wanted. I pointed out to my mom that she doesn’t do any of the things he’s said and told her she could start apartment hunting with me.\n\nNow my parents are telling me I should back up my brother and I shouldn’t be backing her, that I should support my brother and try to help him feel better. He’s a terrible monster, he degraded her and made her feel worthless. And on top of everything, he started her on coke. \n\nSo AITA for telling my parents he deserves what he’s getting and I hope he learns his lesson?\n\nEdit: they support the apartment hunting idea, but think I should still do more to console my brother and make him feel like he didn’t do anything wrong, when in reality it was literally his fault. ######","completion":" NTA, sounds like your brother got what he deserved. Good on you for recognizing his shitty behavior and calling him out on it ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm married and have a 10yo son and a 11yo step-son. I don't have much of a relationship with my step-son's mom. I don't think she likes me. Fortunately, my son and step-son grew up together so they get along, go to the same school and hang out with the same friends. I went to go pick up my son from the park and my step-son was going to be picked up by his mom for the week. I didn't want to leave my step-son all by himself at the park so I stayed. His mom was suppose to be there at 4PM and it was already 4:30PM with no word from her. I tried calling, texting and emailing. Nothing. My husband on a plane so he wasn't going to pick up. \n\nI ended taking both kids back to our house. Around 5PM, I get a call from my step-son's mom bitching at me over taking her son back home. I explained that we waited an hour and tried to contact her. I didn't want to leave him all by himself at the park. She said I had no right to do that and I should have moved mountains to get my husband on the phone to discuss. There had been a miscommunication between her and my husband as my husband - he was in a different timezone when they coordinated his pickup so he was off by an hour. She used that hour to go to a spa hence her unavailability. My messages got buried under other messages. She said she was scared that something happened to her only child and I should have contacted her again and it was an asshole thing to do. ######","completion":" Nta, sounds like she’s unreasonably mad over a miscommunication ######"}
{"prompt":"I have an old highschool friend who hasn't talked to me in a few years but one morning out of the blue he calls me. It's great and all, I was glad to hear from him and was wanting to catch up, but he seemed against catching up and was more focused on wanting to meet up and talk to me about his new job as a \"financial advisor\". This really stuck a nerve with me as the first thing after years of not talking, he wants to ensure that \"this isn't a job pitch or anything\". \n\nI mentioned we should get food sometime and shoot the shit but he again seemed hesitant to accept, told me he would send me an email, and we'd get the times in order as we agreed a certain day a week out would work. I never get an email, he never tries to catch up, and texts me on the day of of how hes \"excited for our meeting at 1\" so he's choosing the time without contacting.\n\nAITA for just saying \"no, sorry but I can't do it anymore\" now? As a friend I used to know i feel bad for canceling, but also I feel like the first person in his contact book he called and didn't want to deal with excess. ######","completion":" NTA, sounds like one of thode World Financial Group \"Financial advisors\" which is just a glorified MLM.\n\nSame thing happened to me, i just told him off. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep. \n\nApparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.\n\nWhat?\n\nI said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. \"Cleaned\" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, sounds like him and his mom have poor boundaries if he assumes she will do it. He’s a grown adult mommy shouldn’t be cleaning up after him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like  havinv my own kid.  \nMy brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ######","completion":" Nta, sounds like hes taking advantage of your kindness, tbh. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quarentine is making us pathetic y'all.\n\nI have a killer headache and was laying on the couch watching something on Disney plus with the only tv in our house.\n\nMy SO asks me if he can play on the PS4 with his friend. I was in the middle of an episode and told him no, I was watching something.\n\nSome quick background here, he plays this game with his friend every night for several hours, and even plays all day sometimes (on the one tv in the house). 99% of the time, I don't care and will stop what I'm doing so he can play. I have other things to do and even like watching sometimes. But this time I didn't feel good and just wanted to watch tv. \n\nI honestly feel like it was unfair of him to try to demand the tv while I was in the middle of something. He'll have all night and his friend will be there later too. He ended up telling me I was being selfish and didn't know how to compromise, which he knew would upset me, and now he has the damn tv because he made me feel bad. He says I should have just given him the tv and watched something on the computer instead. The point wasn't that I wanted to watch something, it was that I wanted to use the tv and don't think I should have had to stop what I was doing just so he could play, since he'll play later too.\n\nAITA for not wanting to stop in the middle of my episode and give him the tv? ######","completion":" NTA, sounds like he needs to learn how to share. It's funny that he called you selfish and unable to compromise since that's exactly how he behaved. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.\n\nMy husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.\n\nHe flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying \"you're not hungry, are you?\"\n\nI ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, sound alike your husband is manipulative and controlling. Who treats their partner this way for something they have no control over. Your husband is TA here and you should not be treated like that\n\nAs for the IBS can I offer a small piece of advice while your waiting for tests......keep a food journal which you document everything you eat in and the days your IBS flares up. Also IBS can be exacerbated by stress so that may be something to keep track of in the diary also. This may give you a better handle on it as it's a painful and embarrassing condition ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex girlfriend and I officially ended things this January after a long drawn out break. Things had been on the rocks for a while. We were initially FWB but decided to be serious after about 2.5 years of doing so. The transition to serious relationship didn’t go well and she wanted an open relationship. She insisted it was more for me as she has a low sex drive and didn’t like feeling pressured to sleep with me more now that we were exclusive. \n\nShe works as a waitress and everyone knows the situation the world is in right now. While we were a thing i would cover her rent\/phone bill and usually some other things because I’m a dumb ass. \n\nAnyways, she’s baffled I no longer want to help her with her bills given the state of things and her career. \n\nI told her that it is no longer my problem if we are not together. She is accusing me of “forcing” her to prostitute herself to me to pay her bills. I told her if that’s how she saw out relationship then it’s best to stay separated. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, sorry you lost a friend in this but she's totally in the wrong here. You were supporting her because you thought you were in a committed relationship. It's pretty clear now that wasn't the case ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21f) work at a store with a lot of vendors who bring in their own product. A lot of these vendors are white men in their 60s+, who borderline sexually harass me and the other female staff, are racist, homophobic, rude to service staff, pretty much every negative white conservative baby boomer thing you can think of. They will sit in the store and talk loudly about pro gun rights the day after mass shootings, and pin blame on other races. Ex) “its usually the muslims who do the shooting” \n\nThey aren’t even supposed to stay in the store. We sell their product for them, all they do is bring it in. \n\nI’m pretty tired of the rude and condescending behaviour towards me, especially since I have been a supervisor for a year now and worked there for a few years. When they come to pick up their cheques, a lot of them will bark at me and interrupt me helping customers to demand their money, or not say anything but just rub their fingers together and stare at me. I’ve also gotten comments like “oh I looove being handed money from a woman” when I give it to them.\n\nNow when vendors approach me impolitely, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying “what’s the magic word?” and smiling while I hold their cheque. I make eye contact and patiently wait for them to say “please” before I give it to them. It puts them on the spot for being rude, but its also extra and unnecessary. Although there’s nothing else I can do about their inappropriate behaviour. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, sometimes it’s the little victories that gets us through the day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (m17) have a fungal infection around inner thigh and genital area. I apply my anti-fungal cream before I fall asleep. Because of lockdown my step-sister's University closed and she (19) moved back in the house. Her Mac's charger broke, and recently she has been using my charger. After having dinner she left her laptop in my room to charge and we watched an episode of Witcher in Netflix together and then I went to bed.\n\nAs usual I started to apply my anti fungal cream around my genital. I usually get erection while rubbing the cream. Suddenly my step-sister walks in(without knocking) and I froze like a deer caught in headlights, with an erection and pants down. My step-sister screamed and my parents came and she told that I made her feel uncomfortable. In my defense I said I was applying anti fungal cream and she should have knocked. Now, my parents want me to apologize to my step-sister and promise that it won't happen again. I have refused to apologize because it was her fault for not respecting my privacy.\n\nSo, AITA for not apologizing to my step-sister when she caught me with an erection and pants down.\n\nPS: sorry in advance if there are any typos, typing from mobile ######","completion":" NTA, someone doesn’t knock. It’s all them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I own 3 houses that I had bought with an inheritance that my grandad left me and I rent these houses out. This enables me to have a steady income even without having a job so I have quite a bit of money to save and put away. \n\nI rented one of the 3 properties out to my sister and her boyfriend for not a large sum at all.\n\nThe first few months they paid every time on the dot and I had no issues. However in the past 3 months I had received no payments and false promises of money that I was never going to receive. \n\nSo I removed them from the house and moved in a tenant who was willing to pay. My mother is furious that I kicked them both out and wants me to kick out the tenant who I moved in and move them back in AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, so they were squatters in your house and you have to keep them there?\n\nOwning an \"investment property\" is not about charity.. Its about gaining back what you paid for and then setting up for your own retirement.\n\nQuestion though - how come you received an inheritance from your grandad so that you could purchase property and your sister did not?  Your mum may also feel that you should be supporting your sister given you have had this money come through. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.\n\nSo around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.  \n\nI contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up. \n\nIt took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job) \n\nWhat’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week. \n\nI tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts. \n\nI could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ######","completion":" NTA, Shes not upset because you had trouble breathing shes upset because she thinks you're lying. Assuming you haven't lied before since you didn't mention that in your post, shes an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7.  Am I the asshole in this situation? ######","completion":" Nta, she’s proved herself to be unreliable behind the wheel. Tell her to save up and get her own car. Someone always has to take public transport sometime when a household only has one car. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHere's a little backstory. My boyfriend dated his now best friend 3 or 4 years ago. They shared some traumatic experiences together and he says he feels like they recovered together. He also says that they're happy as just friends and haven't fooled around since they were together.\n\nSo the best friend's brother was having a destination wedding in Mexico this week, but its been pushed back to July due to the (bad thing). The best friend's parents are freakin loaded and offered to pay for her and a guest to attend the wedding. When the invitations were sent out at the beginning of the year, she asked my boyfriend to go with her. He obviously said yes. They were both single at the time. They paid for his flight and he'd share her hotel room.\n\nWhen the wedding was pushed back, the parents reached out to him to tell them they'll figure out new flight times once a new date was confirmed. I think it might be inappropriate for him to go now. We've been dating for a few months and she just started seeing a new guy. I brought it up to my boyfriend and he said that she usually waits a long time before someone she is dating to meet her family and he still wants to go. He's excited for the beaches and the open bar. He acts like I'm just jealous and its totally fine for him to be his best friend's date. I want to trust my boyfriend, but this just feels like a lot of red flags.\n\nAITA for asking him not to go? ######","completion":" NTA, she’s his ex and it’d be disrespectful to your relationship ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I have been living together for a while now. She loves baking bread, I'd say it's safe to say that it's one of her hobbies\/passions. As a result we always have delicious bread in our home. I think it's amazing and I'm really lucky. \n\nFor the sake of this post I feel like I have to include that I never bake bread. We both cook but I never bake. I never ask her to either she just does it because she enjoys it. She usually bakes bread once or twice a week. \n\nWe live in a country where people have been stock piling idiots so supermarkets have been out of toilet paper pasta and apparently also yeast. About a week ago my girlfriend told me that she's out of yeast. She seemed to be bummed because she started being more experimental with her bread baking since we went into lockdown. So I made it my mission to get her yeast. I called every supermarket and finally found a bakery that was happy to sell me some. I picked it up yesterday and wrapped it up as a little present. I wanted to give it to my girlfriend tonight but when I told one of my mates about it today he said that it would be an insulting present. He said it's sexist and my girlfriend might think I want to imply that I expect her to make me bread. He also said it's a bit like gifting her a gym membership when she didn't ask for one. \n\nI'm really unsure now because I DO NOT expect her to bake for me. I genuinely thought she'd like it but I absolutely do not want to offend her.\n\nWIBTA if I give her the yeast wrapped up as a present? ######","completion":" Nta, she's said she's out of yeast and not happy about it. You've listened, thought and hunted down some yeast for her. I think she'll be fairly pleased. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so \"old\" and has not found \"the one.\" I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings. \n\nMy daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year. \n\nRecently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.  \n\nI feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy. \n\nBoth my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she's not going to like it but she needs to hear it from somebody. She probably has from her exes, but she also probably brushed it off. She can't brush off your criticism though and that might be why it's stinging a little more. It's in her best interest to address this behavior even if it sucks to accept. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background I grew up poor I often had to wear dirty clothes because we couldn't afford to wash them, had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to take the bus or get a car, had 1 package of Raman for dinner, luckily our financial situation has improved and I've fattened up considerably I have been friends with \"Susan\" a few months now and she never knew me or my family before our circumstances improved now on to the issue \n\n\n\nSo me and Susan were talking about a mutual friend who recently lost his job and can barley afford rent and food and the conversation went like this\n\n\nMe: yeah it sucks that Sam is having hard times and has to downgrade his lifestyle been there done that\n\nHer very sarcastically: sure mark you and your Xbox 1 and weight have definitely been there before \n\n\nMe voice raised: the duck you mean by that you don't know my past or the things I've been through \n\nSusan just kind of shrank back and said something along the lines of you just don't look like the type and she was just trying to \"check my privalege\"I then told her it was shitty to assume things about people's past when you don't know i haven't seen her since and am now wondering if I over reacted \n\n\n\nEdit sorry for format and grammar typed this in a hurry please keep the judgement on this post and nothing else ######","completion":" NTA, she's just shown you who she is - superficial, narrow-minded and judgemental - avoid her and don't apologise. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is all from last year, so lessons were still happening. \n\nI own a ranch, and aside from other animals I have several horses. During the summer I offered riding lessons for kids, and a lot of people took them because they were cheaper than other places. When my neighbor (now 15f) was eight, she would often come over and watch the horses through the fences on the paddock. With the blessing of her parents, I gave her free riding lessons in exchange for helping take care of the horses.\n\nShe's great with the horses, and last summer I even paid her to help out with the kids riding lessons. She helps out most weekends and sometimes she comes by after school. Sometimes I even let her take my horses trail riding with her friends, as long as she's being responsible. \n\nLast summer, the mother of a kid I was teaching asked her if she takes riding lessons with me. She said yes. The mother apparently mentioned that my prices were too high, and asked her how much she had paid for lessons. She told the mother that she didn't pay, she just helped because she lived so close.\n\nThe mother came over to me and asked if I could give her kid free lessons because I had given them to my neighbor. I told her that I wouldn't, because my neighbor was helping me in return. She then said that I was discriminating against her daughter because they didn't live close to me and couldn't help out. She also told me that I'm gross for \"exploiting a child for free labor\".\n\nThe way I see it, it's a win-win. My neighbor gets to hang out with the horses (which she loves) and gets a guaranteed summer job, and I get some help with my horses. Still, the mother was adamant that I'm definitely an asshole here. I do feel like kind of a jerk, because her kid lives too far away to come very often.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she's being entitled because she is not being catered to. It doesn't matter if you were paying your neighbor's kid to learn to ride, she doesn't get to demand diddly or squat. If she has a problem with how much you charge she can go elsewhere. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the first time in ages (because of corona) me and my girlfriend went to a VERY nice fancy restaurant. This is important because normally I woudn’t make a fuss but since the food was so nice and very expensive i made an exception. \n\nWe go to the restaurant (she is driving). When get there they are about to close, they say we can’t dine, but we can take food away. We order similarly 1 starter, 1 main each. We split the bill 50\/50.\n\nWe take the food to the car and while she is leaving the car park i check they got our order right. Her starter and main are there. But only my starter is their and my main is missing. I tell her they got the order wrong, while checking to see if they charged for us for the missing main: they did. \n\nI ask her to go back and get my main. Keep in mind we are 1 min drive away from restaurant. Yet she said she can’t be bothered and i should deal with it. We argued for about a minute and then i said ‘ ok but then i get half your main’. She said no and i gave up.\n\nThen when we got home she went for a shower. So i eat my starter and half her main. When she found out she got annoyed and told me to leave her house.  I said ok fine, it is late anyway.\n\nNext morning she text ‘how am i going to make it up to her’.\n\nSo aita and should i have to make it up to her? ######","completion":" NTA, she was driving and made the decision that your food wasn't worth going back for. She shouldn't expect you to be able to be full on just an appetizer dish. I do hope you called the restaurant back about the order, though. ######"}
{"prompt":"Katie and I were really close friends in high school. We are now in our mid 30’s and I got married a year ago, she is getting married this fall. \n\nA bit of backstory: i moved three hours away from our tiny hometown and she stayed there. I would always make time to hang out with her, at her or her parents’ house, when i was home, which was frequent in my 20’s. As i got older and more settled with a career and relationship, i started going home less often. The last time I was home it was only for a few hours and I told Katie if she wanted to see me, she would have to come to my parents house. She said she would, then an hour later made an excuse and never showed. \n\nWhen I was planning my wedding, of course I wanted to invite her. She RSVP’ed yes for her, her longtime boyfriend, and her daughter. They never showed up. I could already feel the friendship had run its course before the wedding, and this just kinda proved it. We have not spoken since. I’m not mad, as I realize friendships sometimes just fizzle out, i just wish she would have at least told me she wasn’t coming or apologized after the fact or *something*.\n\nYesterday, i got an invite to join her wedding group on Facebook and a request to send her my address so she can send an invitation. WIBTA if I just ignored the invite to join the group to get an invitation because i don’t want to go?\n\nKeep in mind this is not the actual invite, this is just address gathering to send invites. ######","completion":" NTA, she wants your wedding gift, ie money ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and even her friends would make a big deal when we started dating that i never posted pictures of her as i don’t use social media often, and she would ask constantly why i never wanted to post any. I post pictures of her frequently now, post her on Snapchat stories every week, and she is in my profile picture for most social media’s. \n\nNow it’s been almost a year and she still has no pictures of me on any platform online and there’s little trace of me existing in her life online (even though we live together). I even asked her about it since she made such a big fuss that i post about her. \n\nI’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being upset that after this long there’s still no pictures of us together on her social media, especially since guys message and try to flirt with her all the time, even people who used to be my friends in highschool. ######","completion":" NTA, she wanted you to show the relationship on SM but she makes no attempt to ? That sounds very shitty to me. \n\nHave you asked her why she doesn’t post anything? ######"}
{"prompt":"Background I grew up poor I often had to wear dirty clothes because we couldn't afford to wash them, had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to take the bus or get a car, had 1 package of Raman for dinner, luckily our financial situation has improved and I've fattened up considerably I have been friends with \"Susan\" a few months now and she never knew me or my family before our circumstances improved now on to the issue \n\n\n\nSo me and Susan were talking about a mutual friend who recently lost his job and can barley afford rent and food and the conversation went like this\n\n\nMe: yeah it sucks that Sam is having hard times and has to downgrade his lifestyle been there done that\n\nHer very sarcastically: sure mark you and your Xbox 1 and weight have definitely been there before \n\n\nMe voice raised: the duck you mean by that you don't know my past or the things I've been through \n\nSusan just kind of shrank back and said something along the lines of you just don't look like the type and she was just trying to \"check my privalege\"I then told her it was shitty to assume things about people's past when you don't know i haven't seen her since and am now wondering if I over reacted \n\n\n\nEdit sorry for format and grammar typed this in a hurry please keep the judgement on this post and nothing else ######","completion":" NTA, she tried to check your priviledge but ended up showing how superficial and judgemental het thinkkng is, thus checking her OWN priviledge instead ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up, I was the sort of father figure figure for my younger sister and brother, so I am overprotective by nature, I'll admit that. However, I hate my sister's fiance for reasons unrelating to the fact that he's saying my sister. \n\nOver the seven month span that they've been together, the fiance has called me a 'f#ggot', and used multiple slurs against me relating to my sexuality. He has called out younger brother a 'r#tard' because of his autism, and mocked him when he thought nobody was looking. I ignored the slurs against me but I did get very angry about the R-word comment and I did attack him over that. I take responsibility for attacking him over it, but I do not regret it. \n\nThe other thing that worries me is that he has multiple domestic abuse charges against him. I know people deserve second chances, but he's got a very long rap sheet going for him. \nYesterday, my sister called me and said that they we r going to start planning a wedding. And I said that I was happy for her, but also asked why she was Allah with marrying a guy that used slurs and insulted her brothers, especially our younger brother, who is very sensitive when it comes to certain things. \n\nShe said that I was being dramatic and that he'd been joking, but I wasn't having it and told her that I wasn't going to the wedding unless he swore not to say those things, and that our brother (who relies on me a lot) wasn't going if he was just going to be demeaned. \n\nMy sister said that I hadn't made any attempts to get to know him, which isn't true, and that it was only a joke, but I said that was a bad joke to make and also that I wasn't going to entertain him because he was a 'd#ck'. \n\nRightfully or not, she got upset and hung up on me. \n\nWas I wrong for calling the fiance that? Was she wrong? Was everybody wrong? ######","completion":" NTA, she sounds very blindsided by him and i'm sorry you and your little brother have to deal with this. the so-called jokes are supposed to be funny to everyone involved. INFO: do you get the feeling he may be somehow mistreating your sister? the domestic violence record is rightfully unsettling. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had this friend (I’ll call her Ellie) and for the last months or so if our friendship she was very open to me about her concerns about her mental health. I am no expert and I told her that, but I always gave her places and recourses that would help her more than I could (I obviously would help in any way I could)\n\nOne night I get a message from her, and she is freaking out, full blown panic. She messages me vague things such as ‘I don’t know why I’ve done this’ and ‘this is your fault’ and then she says ‘I’ve slit my wrists’. I’m in complete shock, I’m frantically messaging her saying apply pressure. She goes quiet for a couple minutes. I’m panicking. I’m telling my dad I don’t know what to do. \n\nI get a photo sent to me from her of her wrists. They don’t look cut, it looks like she used a pencil to draw on her arm. I didn’t want to be insensitive and I assumed I seen the photo wrong so I just replied; ‘get help and apply pressure’. She replies ‘ahah you’re so fucking stupid, it’s pencil marks, I wouldn’t cut myself’.\n\nThe next day we were all going out with friends and I told her how it made me feel, helpless and panicked. She laughed in my face and said I don’t care.\n\nI’ve not messaged her in a while, and our mutual friends think I over reacted. Did I? ######","completion":" NTA, she sounds like a really abusive and  manipulative person. Being in that situation it's a very traumatic experience and it's not something someone should joke about. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 13 yo female, my mom was a cheater and a liar during her marriage with my dad. She ended up just up and leaving when I was 9 and nobody knew where she went. Those months were the best months of my life, I loved my dad. She came back a little bit before Christmas after she missed my birthday. The fucked up thing is that she left again on Christmas Day! I've hated her since and always wanted to live with my dad. She would always yell at me for no reason and get me in trouble. I do have a younger sister, but she never gets in trouble for anything. \n\nFast forward a few miserable years, I'm in 6th grade so around 11 or 12. I attempted to end my life due to my mom's bullshit. She always made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it would all be over, but my attempt failed luckily. I was put into counseling and told my counselor everything. My dad has always known that I wanted to live with him (my parents have 50\/50 custody). I get to decide who I want to live with full time in my freshman year of highschool ( I'm going to be in 8th grade)and I told my mom I was gonna choose my dad. She told me that that wasn't going to happen and that it would stay 50\/50.  \n\nI told her my reasons for wanting to leave and she said I was lying. That none of that happened. I was livid with anger and told my dad what she said. He confirmed everything I said and she wouldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up and ever since she's been trying to buy my love, but she still yells at me and does everything she's been doing. I'm still going to live with my dad, but now I feel kinda bad for her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she sounds like a narcissist. Get as far away from her as she can. She chose her path and thinks that you owe her anything, but you don't. \n\nI'd let her try to buy your love though. Squeeze her for whatever she's worth, because once she sees that you're choosing your dad she'll probably leave again. That's how narcissists are. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've posted here before about my oldest brother. English is my third language and I'm on my phone, so I apologize in advance.\n\n(Background, kind of) \nMy mom (43) and dad (43) broke up when I (16f) was 9. Without going into too much detail, my dad was very verbally abusive towards my mom and physically and verbally abusive towards my oldest brother. I recently learned that I have 2 new half brothers (oldest 2, youngest 8 months) and I feel the need to make sure that they live the happiest life possible and that they never witness what I had to witness.\n\nNow, my dad married my stepmom not long after they met (only around 2 years) and even though I have no problem with my dad moving on, seeing as I don't care what he does anymore, I really dislike my stepmom as she came in to the picture the year after my mom and dad broke up and she thinks that she has a right to an opinion about the (very little) amount that she saw and heard even though I genuinely believe that she has no right to any opinion when it comes to that situation. I told her this and it turned into her treating me like I'm 2 and her saying \"he's my husband, I have the right to an opinion.\" and me telling her that she needs to apologize if she wants contact again,she refuses to do so. \n\nTl;Dr My stepmom thinks she has the right to an opinion about my dad being abusive in the past, I tell her no, she treats me like a child and I want apology that she refuses to give.\n\nEdit: To clarify, we actually had a great relationship and we spoke almost every day. ######","completion":" NTA, she should keep her opinion to herself if she doesn't know everything ######"}
{"prompt":"I am an avid crocheter, and I normally make baby blankets or toys for people in my life when they have kids. I enjoy it, and it helps me relax after work. Not long ago, I decided to make a complicated afghan for an charity silent auction because I really like what they do and with their current situation they have had to cancel most of their fundraising events.\n\nMy problem comes here: My aunt has decided that I should give her this blanket for a baby shower that's she's throwing for a coworker, and told this coworker that it was a done deal already. Apparently she's very excited about using this blanket (which I made for a charity auction remember) as a decoration in her nursery.\n\nThis blanket took me three months to make, two thousand yards of various yarns, and a lot of frustration. It's promised to the silent auction and I will not break that promise. My aunt has instead told me to \"just make another\" since she's already promised it to her coworker. For free, because she's family I might add.\n\nI do not want to make this blanket again especially for free so that someone I've never met can have it.  But now I'm being bombarded with messages saying how disappointed this coworker is going to be and the baby deserves an heirloom and how I'm going to make my aunt look bad, etc. etc. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate the \"but we're family\" argument, but it's different when its directed at you. \n\nSo, AITA for making my aunt look bad? ######","completion":" NTA, she should have asked you before promising away an object she didn't even own. Family doesn't excuse actions. You can also tell her \"But the coworker isn't family\" because that doesn't even apply to them. Either way, NTA, your Aunt is trying to take advantage of your skills to make herself look better. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (17) has been sneaking out to meet a boy for the past few days. She snuck out to go to a park near our house  so i was okay with it. I only had to open the door for her when she went out and when she came back but lately she has been staying far too late even after telling me she won’t.\nYesterday, she came in my room and told me she will go to a town near us (about a 20 minute ride) with one of her friends motorcycles, i was not okay with this and told her no but she didn’t listen. I let her out and was really worried about her because of obvious reasons, i texted her multiple times to tell me when she’s coming, she said she’ll be home around 2am. The time comes around and she’s nowhere to be found, i text her again and she says she’ll come back at 4am. I got pissed at her and around 4 i just opened the door and went to take a bath, she came home at 5.\nWhen she came back i told her that i’m mad at her and that i won’t help her sneak out again. She apologized through text.. AITA?\n\n\nalso, i’m ok with her going to the park because basically nothing can happen to her in our really small town and i’m not worried about the boy she’s going with because i know him quite well ######","completion":" NTA, she should be open about her time of return, plus it's better for her to stay in these times. ######"}
{"prompt":"little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people. \n\nThis happened a week ago.\nMy aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused. \nAt first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.\nMy aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter. \nMy mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.\nI don't feel like I'm the asshole.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she scared the shit out of your sister on purpose, and just as importantly she willfully lied to you and did not keep her word.  Absolutely not, she agreed to conditions with no intention of keeping to them, this person cannot be trusted.\n\nEDIT: In response to the posted update, this story is starting to sound incredible, and if it’s true, I would be blocking this person’s contact in all channels, that’s so wildly inappropriate as to strain credulity.  You absolutely do not owe this selfish person an apology and the stated reaction from your parents is shocking.  I’m curious though - your parents actually left your sister in your care, went abroad and then just decided to not return?!  That seems like some... not parenting, at all, as in hard core child neglect, possibly criminal if you were not stepping up.  Or did they plan on her joining them? ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.\n\nLast week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).\n\nIt was all good till their \"night activities\" woke me up in the middle of the night. Her flat is large and out bedrooms are at the opposite ends of the hall. So that meant they were loud. \n\nI hoped it'd end soon, but they were in for a ride. I tried headphones with music, I didn't hear them, but couldn't sleep with loud music blasting. I didn't say anything as it was their first night and thought they'd tire each other out. \n\nWell, same thing next night. I was knackered the morning after, plus I learned the boyfriend would probably come around more than 3 times.\n\nAt the point I started to ponder getting back to my parents, as I have insomnia and it could mess my entire sleep schedule.\n\nI told my sister I forgot helping my friend with chemistry and my mum picked me up.\n\nShe couldn't wrap her head around and constantly asked me. She probably knew I was lying as we know each other well. She asked me if she had done something wrong, I told her no and we'd do the same thing next month (her boyfriend would be abroad), but she wasn't having it.\n\nEventually I told her, I couldn't sleep as I heard them shagging and she was shocked.\n\nShe even brough it up at our family dinner, which was super embarrassing, because I hadn't told my parents. And it looked like she was mad at me. My paretns didn't want dive in, but told her it'd be good if It could be arranged that I wouldn't sleep there when her bf did. \n\nShe got upset, calling me nosy and eventually left earlier. She's not replied to my messages or calls.\n\nAITA for telling her the reason? ######","completion":" NTA, she pushed for the truth and so you told her.\nShe's probably really embarrassed, give her a few days and she'll respond eventually. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister-in-law is high risk immunosuppressed, shes been told to limit social contact for 12 weeks (8wks left) but shes been nipping to the shop etc.\n\nToday shes invited herself and her 6 year old daughter over to our garden for a social distance cuppa. This would be fine if it wasn't for the 6 year old being incredibly naughty.\n\nI have an 8mo and a 3yo, I dont want them playing with my niece, if not for their own safety for the safety of my sister in law. But idk how to social distance kids. Especially ones that aren't mine and wont listen. My wife disagrees and says I'm being irrational, theres no way to stop my sister in law coming over and \"shes been stuck inside and wants fresh air\".\n\nI dont get it. Am I overreacting? AmItheAsshole? ######","completion":" NTA, she of all people should be staying home, and the fact that she hasn’t been means more risk for you and your family which means more risk for everyone you come in contact with and so  on, its really not a hard concept to grasp but everyone thinks they’re above it for some reason ######"}
{"prompt":"So, a little bit of background. \n\nMy sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here. \n\nWell, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she needs to understand shes putting you guys at a huge risk. Parties are one of the main reason this virus is spreading ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, context before you guys hate me: my parents are quite wealthy but I (F24) left home when I was 17 because they didn't agree with my career\/life choices and I worked a lot to support myself for a few years until they recently accepted my choices and started helping me as I went back to school to pursue my dream degree and only work part time. I still pay for most of my expenses because I have a nice job where I've been for three years but my parents now do give me a small sum of money to cover school expenses. I am aware that I am very privileged but the money my parents give me is only for school things only and everything else I pay with the money I earn myself.\n\nNow, tonight we were at a house party and it was getting late (about 3am) and I decided I'd take a cab home because I was wearing a rather short dress and didn't feel safe walking home although it was only a 20 minute walk to my place. My friend said that I was a spoiled rich b\\*tch because I could afford to take a cab home while she had to walk longer to her place.\n\nIt did piss me off because she doesn't work although I did already offer her to get a position at my job after she dropped out of university and now pretty much lives of social welfare.\n\nSo I told her that if she had a job, she could afford to take a cab home and she got really pissed. A few of our friends also thought I was really rude while some others said I was right but probably shouldn't have said that in front of everyone.\n\nI felt that I was justified as she did try to embarrass me in front of everyone and is constantly criticizing how much money I spend on things every time we got out and complaining about how she can't do the same while she's not even trying to better her life. So, was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, she made her choices, her turn to live with what that means to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment complex right next to a creek trail. I walk my dog on it almost every day. It’s really nice, except for the fact that my upstairs neighbor never picks up after her dog. I’ve seen her out the window neglecting to pick it up when her dog poops. It infuriated me because it makes the trail smelly and unpleasant. I know her dog’s size and shape of poop and I have stepped in it multiple times. Now, I might have cut her some slack if she was a nice person, but she is not. She glares at me when I walk by, and is overall very short-tempered. When I asked her about the shit once, she told me to fuck off. Not to mention the fact that she makes an ungodly amount of noise at 12am which often keeps me up. Basically, I had had enough. The next day, before her usual walk time, I made a bunch of little flags using sticks and paper, and put her dog’s name on them. Then, I walked down the trail and put a flag on each of the deposits. I watched from my window as she passed each shit, looking confused and angry. Later, I got a knock on my door, and opened it to find Pam, irate and saying that I had been immature and petty, which I admit I may have been. However, it was very satisfying to see her get what was coming to her. I know it wasn’t very nice, but do the ends justify the means? ######","completion":" NTA, she made her bed, now she can lay in it. If you wanted to take it a step further I would recommend reporting her to your management company. Id be willing to wager they have rules about picking up after your pets in place to upkeep the cleanliness of the complex. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife calls me into the room and proceeds to say \"Hey Google, how do I get my husband to stop being annoying?\" and starts laughing. I suppose in her defense this was said somewhat jokingly, so I just rolled my eyes and walked away. In the next room, I ask our other Google home the same thing about my wife. I was also half kidding, and knew I was going to get the same answer of \"Sorry, I can't help with that.\" Then my wife walks into the room and starts talking about how that's not nice and starts demanding an apology from me. Needless to say, she didn't like the apology I gave, and went on to tell me she hopes a wild animal attacks me while I'm out for a walk. Better judgment would suggest that I shouldn't have said any of that but AITA for not giving a sincere apology here? It seems to me like she thinks she can demand an apology whenever she wants, and I just have to bow down to her and say \"Yes, dear.\" ######","completion":" NTA, she literally said the same thing to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m about ready to jump out of this relationship but for the sake of my sanity I want to ask on here so I know if I’m truly the arsehole or not. \n\nMy girlfriend has a 14 year old son. I try hard to foster a good relationship with him especially because my old man was nowhere to be seen when I was growing up. He is usually disrespectful to me and plays up the fact that I’m with his mum but am not his father. \n\nBy all rights everyone in her family (mum \/ dad etc) has acknowledged her son needs a councillor and help because his behaviour is THAT obvious (more so in front of other people he’s rude to me) but she has always maintained I need to ‘deal’ with her sons attitude to me because ‘he just wants to feel like he’s got control’. I tried hard to overlook the disrespect and maintain good ties but it’s getting harder and harder as her son gets older. \n\nGirlfriend and I went out into my garden for a fag. Girlfriends son decided to barge past and start breaking the shed in my garden. Why, I have no fucking idea. He says he was bored. I told him to stop being a twit. He looked at me, smirked, said you’re not my dad and you can’t tell me what to do. \n\nI looked over at my girlfriend since he normally saves that line for when she’s not around and she simply ignored him. \n\nI snapped at her to sort her son out since I’m not his dad and went inside. I’ve just had enough. She came in raging and screaming that I need an attitude adjustment and that Im a total cunt. ######","completion":" NTA, she is enabling her son’s poor behavior by yelling at you instead of him.  No sense in being in an unhappy relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no \"real man\" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids. \n\nHer standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree. \n\nBasically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids. \n\nI told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ######","completion":" NTA, she is be super hypocritical. I’m a single father and I’ve been ghosted after I mention I have a kid. You nailed it on the head with your points. In my experience it isn’t the norm for men almost in their 40’s to be single and not have a kid. Also a huge hypocrite for not wanting to raise someone else’s kids but wanting someone to raise hers. She’s also limiting herself at a chance for a romantic relationship imo. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have no issue with crazy hair colors and even approved my daughters hair to be colored once for her birthday at three years old. However, that color was chosen specifically so it would wash out within a few days. My ex and his girlfriend keep coloring my five year old’s hair with Overtone and every time she comes back home to me she has a new hair color (our schedule is week on\/week off). They haven’t been telling me they’re going to color her hair and I’ve asked many times if they could do a less permanent option because her hair is very delicate. Yesterday she came back to me with the most splotchy hair color imaginable and I finally looked her father in the eyes and demanded that he stop doing this. He doesn’t see the issue because “she asked his girlfriend to do it so they did”. AITA for wanting them to wait until she’s older to start making these decisions and use wash out colors for now instead? ######","completion":" NTA, she is a child which means she doesn't get everything she wants. Your Ex has to be a parent and tell her no, especially now that you have made your opinion known. But you have to realize that by allowing it once when she was 3 and you make it sound like it hasn't stopped since then. That you set a precedent for 2 years that it's OK to color her hair. So you are definitely going into an uphill battle. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) am currently stuck in my apartment with my 2 other roommates (Dave, 27M; Sarah 24F). We all met through mutual friends and have a good roommate relationship, we aren't close friends but in normal times we do things together occasionally.\n\nRecently we've been sharing food costs and everyday a different roommate does the cooking and we all eat. We each have certain foods we don't like and are allowed to take a pass on that food being cooked. For one of my roommates (24F) she expects meat at every meal and will actively avoid vegetarian or vegan foods. It's not a health thing it's a preference thing and she has told us as much.\n\nWell my one roommate (Dave), went grocery shopping the other day and came back with some Chorizo that I had requested for making Shaksuka. It turned out really good and Sarah expressed interest in having the meal again. She had never had Chirozo before and so she dug the wrapper out of the garbage to see what spices were in it. It's then that we found out Dave had accidentally bought 'soyrizo' rather than the meaty kind. Sarah was livid and starting saying I was trying to trick her into being vegan. (Note: none of us are vegan or vegetarian nor have ever been). Dave and I told her it was an accident but she wouldn't hear it. She's been ignoring us since last night and has since stated she will be cooking her own food and will be taking her pans into her room so that we won't 'contaminate them with tofu'.\n\nI understand her frustration but the whole thing was an accident that I unfortunately can't undo. I think this while thing is just a misunderstanding but it's getting hostile in the apartment and I'm starting to feel like the asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she has no medical reason to need meat at every meal. It sounds to me like she has a vendetta against vegetarians and is using their language (i.e. contamination) to prove some kind of point to herself. It's really strange that she is doing that with people who are not vegetarian. This is odd behavior and I'd be surprised if you don't experience similar issues from her in the future regarding other things.\n\nEdited to fix spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######","completion":" NTA, she had a chance to redeem herself, she ruined it. It's her fault she lost your trust. You're doing the right thing, your mom sounds irresponsible. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney. \n\nI have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces. \n\nI then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures  I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.\n\nHere is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy.  She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.\n\nEnglish is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ######","completion":" NTA, she did it to you, you did it back. That's a little thing called karma. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago I (20m) was out at the supermarket getting a few things when a girl came up to me and asked for my number saying I look \"cute\". Problem is I'm gay as you can probably guess from my name. Me never experience this before tried to be as polite as possible and told her \"thank you I'm flattered but I'm gay, sorry about that\". I thought all would be good after that but she got upset and started ranting about how all the guys are turning gay and proceeded to call me a f_g and tr_nny for some reason (I'm not trans at all so that was confusing. I having the true blue potty mouth I have called her a c_nt and told her good luck finding a guy who wants to put up with c_nt like you. When i got home I told my sister what happened and she called me TA saying that I have no right to call a woman a c_nt and that I should consider myself lucky she would even ask me for my number. So I'm here getting the opinion of the people, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she deserved it and your sisters TA if she thinks c_nt is “worse” than what that girl called you. You were just minding your own business, you didn’t ask to be approached and then berated for your sexuality. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father left when I was very young and I was raised primarily by my mother, she died a few years ago and I've had no interest in ever getting in contact with my father. My GF has always wanted me to get in contact with him because she thinks she's some sort of therapist and all my \"issues\" come from a lack of a father figure.\n\nWithout checking with me she tracked him down, told him I want to get in contact and then gave him my number. He called me and I told him to piss off and blocked his number after he told me how he got his number.\n\nWe got into a massive argument where I said she had no right to meddle in my life, called her a cunt and hung up. I have no intention of speaking to her until we're allowed outside again and I'm considering just breaking up over this.\n\nHer friend texted me to tell me how upset my GF is and that I'm a horrible person so doing this to her. ######","completion":" NTA, she crossed a major line. \n\nYou're totally justified in being upset. She may have been trying to help, but it was in no way her place. \n\nHope everything works out for you, with or without her. Take some time to cool off then make your decisions, but you have the right to he pissed. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes to watch other men having sex with my sister, then after he (excuse the TMI) sucks the other guys semen out of my sister. I’m also a woman btw, I’m guessing she wouldn’t tell me all this if I weren’t...but who knows. \n\nSo anyway I recently came across this book on Amazon about “hotwifing” and I linked it to her, saying “since Steve is a cuck I assume he’d get a kick out of this.” No response...odd. I thought maybe I misunderstood the books premise but whatever. \n\nThen I get a response in EMAIL later, with Steve CCed, saying that it’s unacceptable for me to call him “the C word” because that’s a name only those in the cuckold community can use for each other, and that unless I personally plan to cuck Steve (theyre not asking me to, obviously) that I can’t call him a cuck. She said that from now on any communications about Steve have to be said with him on the thread and I need to apologize for the slur. \n\nThis feels...extra, I mean...a slur to me is related to race\/gender but not a kink that someone chooses. She stopped short of saying this is the N word for the hotwifing community but did say she would liken it to the F word (the homophobic one.) \n\nI didn’t apologize the way she wanted...I said I’m sorry I said it, but this new policy of cc’ing Steve is super weird and I’m worried it might Also be a kink? ######","completion":" NTA, she CC'd him in an email about proper kink\/ fetish terminology?  Very bizarre ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.\n\nA few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.\n\nLater, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)\n\nAm I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ######","completion":" NTA, she broke up with you with her via text. You are not in a relationship anymore.  It is normal behavior to get rid of pictures of your ex on your social account.  She is trying to make you look like the bad guy in the breakup ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for Not Letting My Sister use my Niece &amp; Nephews To Manipulate Me\n[F] Recently my sister got temporary custody of my neice and nephews (our brother's children). My sister was decided on as the one to get custody, because she is married, is financially better off, and doesn't work outside of the home. My sister's husband is not happy about the arrangement. When she gets tired or sick, I am the one that goes over to her house to help with the kids, ie. feed them, bathe them, put them to bed, play with them or watch them while she takes a nap. I have even run errands and brought over dinner after work. I live 45 minutes to an hour away. I have been trying to help as much as I can, all while still continuing to go to work as an \"essential employee\". Now that her husband is home (due current circumstances), she has wanted me to take the kids on the weekends. I truly do not mind, what I don't like is not being asked. She just Tells me the kids are coming over this weekend, and tells me what time she is bringing them. On Sunday when I need to bring them back to her, she tells me her husband wants me to keep them til 3pm or later. This weekend, she told me when she was bringing them, told me they had been sick and fighting with each other. So I go to bring them back sunday and she got angry, saying I thought you were keeping them until after we go to this meeting. She claimed she had a meeting at 2pm and wanted me to keep them until after they got back. She never asked me, she told me she had a meeting, which due to circumstances, should have been canceled. I explained, \"you didnt ask me, unfortunately, I have work tomorrow and have to get some things done that I was unable to do over the weekend.\" She proceeded to yell at me over the phone, saying, \"the kids don't ever have to come back to my house, you dont ever have to watch them again.\" I did bring them back. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, she and her husband are home full time all while you are being exposed as an essential person, and they are asking to have you take the kids? You are in the clear regardless but in our current situation you need to stop allowing the kids over at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface:\nSo, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it.\n\n\nMy mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, \"I already have one that works.\" I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me. \n\nShe explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it.\n\nTL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, she agreed to use her card under the assumption that you will transfer the money over to her card afterwards. If she hadn’t you would have just used your own money, so you’re doing your family a favor by helping her accrue points. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.\n\nAITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######","completion":" NTA, seems pretty controlling to hold your partner to religious beliefs against their will ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 3 kids; 8, 6, and 4. They love to ride bikes and we live in a relatively safe neighborhood so I let them ride around the(fairly small) block as long as they stick together and do NOT go off track. Around the block only, no crossing the street \n\n\nThe other day they went off track because they found some mysterious cage(turned out snapping turtle eggs that someone put a cage over). It was just across the street, not a huge deal. They were fine \n\n\nThat said, a rule was broken. So I punished them. No going around the block for the rest of the day(and this was at 9:30am so it really was a whole day).\n\n\nMy husband thought it was harsh because it was a harmless move. No one got hurt or kidnapped, they saw something cool\/educational, and they only went just across the street for a few minutes.\n\n\nI thought it was more of a principal rule and figured if we allow this, they’ll push their luck for more later and end up lost or hurt.\n\n\nI’m open to discussing a bigger biking circle than just around the block but that needs to be discussed, not something they can decide for themselves, especially when their 4 year old sibling is with them. ######","completion":" NTA, rules are there for a reason\n\nNot just for their safety but they also set boundaries and will develop trust between the parties involved. \n\nKids mindfulness is pretty rubbish at the best of times, but they’ll never grow without experiences like this to learn from. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ######","completion":" NTA, posting photos of people without their permission for something like this is just plain rude. If she wants to grieve your relationship she doesn’t need to do it on a public platform like that. \n\nIf you own the photos she’s using without your permission you can request Tiktok take the video down due to infringement. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time AITA poster so sorry if my formatting isn’t great! \n\nI (21F) went to the supermarket today to get food and I parked near a trolly collecting bay, where there was a worker collecting trollies. As I pulled out of my carpark the employee (probably late 20’s M) signalled me to stop. I just assumed I had left my purse on top of my car or something silly like that and lowered my window to find out. \n\nThe employee then said hello and started asked my name, if I was single, and my age and then tried to have a short chat with me, concluding “it was worth a try” when I told him I was not single. It appeared that he may have been not fully neurotypical and aware of the uncomfortable situation he was placing me in. I shut down the conversation quickly and politely but left the shops feeling quite uncomfortable, especially the fact it was an employee who did this while he was working. \n\nWIBTA if I reported him to his employer? I’d hate to get anyone fired or in serious trouble especially given the current economic climate and the fact he may not have known what he did was wrong, but I also worry that he may do it to someone else who was not as confident in getting themselves out of that situation. ######","completion":" NTA, please report him. Most companies with customer facing roles have basic training, and a big part of training is don’t use work time\/customers\/environment for personal stuff. \n\nIrregardless of his intentions, the outcome was that you were left uncomfortable and that is at fault of the employee behaving inappropriately. ######"}
{"prompt":"A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.\n\nThe wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.\n\nWell, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says \"I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!\"\n\nI thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.\n\nThe first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.\n\nFinally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like \"you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about\" and he said it was \"the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital\" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said \"you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate.\"\n\nThe confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.\n\nHe got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said \"maybe it's because I have different insurance\" because that's all I could think of.\n\nWell he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years. \n\nEveryone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, personally I’d rather know and be told than live in the dark. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey there! \nSo since the crisis is going on, I only have to work for one day per week (probably for April and May). The rest of the time I'm at home, chilling, watching movies, cleaning and just spending time in our (bf and me) flat.\nMy bf has always been working from home. And he has to do a lot of calls and videochats. That means I always have to be quiet and be carefull not to accidentally walk through the videocall.\nThe thing is, he does have a super nice office where he could work - it's just downstairs. But he's so used to work from our couch, or the diningtable, that he's just too comfortable with the situation. \nWhen I asked him if he could maybe work from his office now that I'm at home more often, he got mad at me and feels like I don't want him around and that I would kick him out of our flat.\nNow I'm mad at him for not seeing that it's really affecting me in not feeling comfortable in \"my own four walls\".\n\nSo my question is, is it wrong from me to ask him change his normal work style, or is he overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA, perhaps if he absolutely doesn't want to use the office you could claim it and make your own chill space? Daft having a room doing nothing.\n\nEdited for spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"My nephew is a great kid. He’s 17 and he loves a lot of nerdy things, he’s always loved Transformers and I took him to see every movie, and I watched every show with him (including the originals from the 80s) since I babysat him a lot. \n\nI am a collector. I have hundreds of figures and toys from Transformers, anime, games, etc. \n\nMy sister and her husband are very strict, very anti anything that’s not related to making money or working. Their kid’s not like that at all. He works hard in school and has a job, but he likes to have hobbies and do things he loves. \n\nIt’s was his birthday and I decided to gift him a rare figure that you can’t get anymore and is worth a fuck ton of money. He’s always loved that particular figure, and he was so happy to receive it that he cried. He decided then that he wanted to start his own Transformers collection and he ordered all the parts to Devastator and all his favorites with his own money. (I did buy him one more though, kid deserves it) \n\nMy sister is furious because she says I’m teaching him to be lazy and waste his money on useless shit. I got angry and told her that if it makes you happy, it’s not useless, and that she needs to show a little interest in her son beyond his grades and income because he’s told me that he feels like he’s unloved unless he’s her little robot. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, people should be happy the way they want to be happy, not the way their parents want them to be happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for some reason the kids in my neighborhood have decided that they want to start playing basketball at 10pm or later. Now I’m usually pretty chill about pretty much everything but it’s gone from them just playing basketball to them yelling and screaming while playing basketball. Even then that wouldn’t be an issue if it were something that happened every now and then. I’ve been their age before and I’ve done my fair share of stupid teenage things but I’m not sure where to draw the line.\n\nEdit: I should have said that I’ve already talked to the parents about it (seemed pretty chill , it stopped for about a week and then it started back up). In addition to this they tend to leave trash everywhere (water bottles , napkins, soda cans) ######","completion":" NTA, people need to be respectful in neighborhoods. But before you do anything like that you need to go and try to communicate with them and handle it yourself. Just be safe about it. My uncle tried to talk to a group of teens who were doing something similar late into the night and they jumped him and put him in intensive care for months. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife (30F) just gave birth to our first baby boy. Her father, 70M, often says the n word and is just in generally not very accepting of the black community. He has gotten so much worse in the past week with all of the current events: throwing the n word around left and right and just being discriminatory. I guess that this is just the “old generation” but nonetheless that is completely a dealbreaker for me. \n\nI have put up with family gatherings with him for our entire relationship. If it was my father I’d cut him off immediately but I can’t make that decision for her so I keep my peace. I have told him I don’t like the word respectfully but he just keeps doing it. I’m old enough to make to decisions, my child is just born and will absorb what is around him. \n\nI told my wife I do not want him around our son unless he refuses to say the word. He says he will say whatever he wants because he’s 70 years old and my wife agrees and thinks I am being controlling. I think I have good morals and want what is best for my kid. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, other commenters seem to be missing that you specifically said “unless he refuses to say the word”. That’s a perfectly reasonable boundary to draw. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my little brother is 14yo and going to be a freshman next year in HS, I am 17 and I graduate this year.  I don't want to sound too mean but he's pretty......large and very very out of shape.  I played football and track so after middle school I have always been in really good shape.  My brother recently asked me if I could help him lose weight and get in shape cause he wants to play football, I warned him that I would be just as hard as a coach and he said he's ready for that.  \n\nThere is this grassy hill area near my house where I use to train all the time, and I thought that would be perfect to coach him up there.   I wouldn't say I go like military drill instructor hard but it is pretty hard, but in a way to hype him up.  Like lets say he's getting tired of running I say stuff like \"come on, you fucking got this, you got half a mile left.\"  Or if he struggles with the pushups I get right down there with him and say stuff like \"you got 5 fucking more you just did 30 don't give up now, I wont let you quit.\"  Nothing really demeaning other than sometimes telling him that he doesn't want to go back to being fat.  \n\nMy dad was watching me coach him and he said that I'm \"being too hard on him\" and that I need to loosen up.  My brother hasn't said anything negative from what I've doing and in the past month we've been doing this he was at 250 and he's down to 210.  Still a ways to go but its something and I won't lie, it feels good to know I helped him lose 40 pounds already.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, on the condition that your brother hasn't been negatively affected by your methods. They seem to be working, and as long as they aren't damaging him emotionally, you should keep at it. However, if he has behavioral changes or has negative reactions (verbal or non-verbal) to your coaching, then you should absolutely switch tactics. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.\n\nI’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister. \n\nSo my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess. \n\nAs a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad. \n\nI’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything. \n\nThe thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit.    AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, older siblings should NOT be taking in the role of a parent or a free caretaker\/babysitter. You've been stripped of your childhood, I'm sorry OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F32) husband (M45) and I have been together for 9 years. The entire course of our relationship he has obsessively cleared his search history, text messages, emails, Instagram, etc. It has always bothered me but he has always insisted he has nothing to hide he just has bad OCD and prefers everything to be clear. In hindsight, I wish I had pushed a bit more, but knowing him and knowing how bad his OCD can be, I believed him. We share finances, I have access to his email (both our emails are linked on Gmail sign in), etc. For the longest time, he made me feel that any suspicion was just in my head and that I have trust issues, etc. Additionally - though we have an active sex life, I have a higher libido than he does and generally I feel we lack a sense of intimacy.\n\nI don't know what came over me, but a few days ago I snooped on his Instagram while he was in the shower. I found a message with a user I don't know (private account, clearly a throwaway username) where they had been sending hot models back and forth to each other. In the last message, my husband sent the user a link to a model's Patreon and asked him to send her $ and he would reimburse. (I presume so a charge to Patreon wouldn't appear on our cc statement).\n\nI sat on the information for a few days, trying to process and talk myself off the ledge. Ultimately, I confronted him. I felt betrayed, hurt, confused...I feel like I've been gaslit our entire marriage and I don't know how I will ever trust him again. He thinks I am overreacting to the Nth degree, that \"everybody\" does this (this is what Instagram is for, apparently), etc. \n\nHe really wants me to move on and is sulking, feeling hurt by my snooping on his phone. I am heartbroken, unable to look him in the eye, feeling like we won't be able to come back from this since I don't know how I can trust him again.\n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, oh fucking christ this is awful. He's been lying to you this whole time, and now he's been caught he's gaslighting you to try and make light of it. This is not an insignificant issue. He knew you wouldn't be OK with it, so he's been doing it secretly, deleting the evidence, and now that the game is up he's making out like YOU are the unreasonable one for finding out. I know everyone goes on about how messed up this sub is for jumping to unfair conclusions about SOs but this is literally textbook gaslighting and it's not in any way shape or form ok. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nFirst of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.\n\nRecently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)\n\nMy parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment. \n\nI don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######","completion":" NTA, of course. But if your boyfriend is sure that he doesn't want kids and you are sure that you do, then why stay together? ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm m23 and she's f23 and we've been together for about 2 years, last November I won a lottery and after taxes it was enough to set my parents, sister and myself up for life. I quit my job and bought a nice condo and another investment property. \n\nMy GF just graduated school this June and she's been talking about the debt she has and it would be great if I could pay it off etc. I always just say I'll think about it because its about 65k and I when I did win I did buy her some things totaling like 5k, including, a laptop, jewelry and a vacation. \n\nShe brought it up again last night that its so weird of me to not think of her because if I see a future with her I'd need to pay off her debt anyways and how I'm being greedy when I don't just give her money. Not much has changed between us, I just chill at my place and she lives with her parents and I cover all dates, food etc. \n\nI told her that I am not sure if I want to pay off her debt and I need to think about it still. She called me a cheap asshole and a POS. And her sister also called me later and told me that its seriously shitty of me that I never gave her  a piece of what I won. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, of course.  It's your money; you're free to spend it however you want.\n\nBut... as a practical matter, I'm dubious that any relationship that hasn't progressed to the point of joint finances can survive a lottery win.\n\nI mean, how do you go from \"Both of us have to worry about paying the bills and a mountain of student loans, and we both have to deal with sucking it up at jobs we might dislike and working our way up our careers until--one day!--we can retire and live the life we want\" to \"Well, that's *your* life, not mine anymore.  Have fun at the job you hate while I spend all day relaxing at the beach.\"\n\nIt might be she's a gold-digger, but honestly, it feels like is the sort of thing that would destroy most relationships.  Would you honestly not resent your GF, even a little, if she was suddenly set for life--not from anything she accomplished, but simply pure random chance--while you were still struggling? ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandmother is a very stubborn person.She never thinks she is wrong and get emotional when I call her out on her behavior.\n\nShe loves cooking,its tasty food but there is only so much I can eat, I get full very quickly compared to others in my family. She frequently makes different types of food for us to eat and I politely refuse because I can't eat anymore, but she doesn't take no for an answer and keep telling me to eat it. She wont stop telling me to eat the food. I got mad at yelled at her I told her I am the one who decide what I want to eat and she can't force it down my throat. This made her sad and complained to my mom about my attitude.\nI think I am in the wrong but her stubbornness is driving me crazy \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, of course, saying you can't eat more is okay, as long as you're polite about it, I doubt she'd be happy with you throwing up in her house due to overeating ######"}
{"prompt":"Fairly confident I'm not the asshole here, but who knows, maybe I need to see it from another perspective.\n\nSingle Mum of a 1 year old boy, his father and I split very early on in his life. He has him every second weekend.\n\nIt's his weekend to have him, I have made plans that I don't really want to cancel. He's messaged me saying he's going to be hungover tomorrow (when he's due to take him) so he said he'll let me know if he can have him. I've said no, he has to take him regardless as I have plans. He's throwing a wobbly and saying that our son won't be in the best care due to him expecting to be \"under the weather\", and that I am acting as an unfit mother as I'm prepared to take that risk and leave him with his Dad. \n\nHe's hungover, not sick. If he was sick, understandable I'd keep him with me I don't want him getting sick. But hungover? Please! If he wants to go out prior to his designated weekend that's his decision, doesn't change his responsibilities. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, obviously. Let him know if he'd like to forfeit his custody rights that's up to him, but it's a permanent decision, not a 'whenever I feel like it' decision'. He doesn't get to be a parent just when it's convenient. Good call dumping him! ######"}
{"prompt":"To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me. \n\nSo I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early. \n\nHe continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a \"happy birthday\" before he settled into grumpy mode.\n\nAITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######","completion":" NTA, obviously. He is the only person who can control his environment and if you being awake throws off his morning routine so much that he can’t be civil, that’s a him problem not a you problem. \n\n\nI’m sorry your birthday started so shittily, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you do something today that makes you happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"This account is a throwaway \n\nRecently my son had a child with his now ex. He told me he is not planning to raise the kid or being involved with the kid and he is just sending child support. My daughter overheard this and came to the room saying he is not a man because he does not want to raise a child. \n\nMy son is 19 daughter is 27. I then in the moment brought up my daughter's abortion saying that she is a not a women because she did not take responsibility and raised the kid she helped create and chose to get rid of it. My daughter screamed and said it's not the same thing and left.  So aita for bringing up my daughter's  abortion after she told her brother that he is not a man because he chose not to help raise the kid he helped create. ######","completion":" NTA, not because I believe what you said to your daughter is true but because she was being a hypocrite and needed the metaphorical slap in the face. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some back story. When he and I first got together up until merely a couple of months ago (two months max) she would call him begging him to take her back. They have a child, and in the past she's kept the child from him until recently, because she has no place to live. I've stayed insulted by her actions and trespasses against our relationship, my boyfriend, and even their child from keeping him away from his father.\n\nNow the child has a routine, rules, and he knows what to expect day to day. He's very young and misses his mom all the time. My boyfriend messaged her asking her to contact him more, weeks would go by without a call or anything. When she did call, he'd wake up at night screaming, crying, or running to the front door. So he asked her to call and visit more often, which had helped him. \n\nBut now, due to current worldwide circumstances, she doesn't really have a lot of places to take him. However, it makes me very uncomfortable having her at our house. She corners him into discussions about their previous relationship, asking him what she did wrong, etc. I'm insulted that he would allow her to go that far. \n\nShe wants to spend time with him in our home. When my boyfriend said it wasn't okay she began to cry, which I see as a guilt trip. My boyfriend makes arguments to me about why she should be able to stay.\n\nAITA for taking offense to all of this? To both of them; her for weaseling in, and him for allowing her to go so far? Am I justified in my view, or am I not seeing this clearly? \n\nThanks, reddit. ######","completion":" NTA, not at all. Your frustration is justified and it really sucks that she has the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.\n\nHave you tried talking to her directly? Not in an angry way but more like ''Hey, I understand you're not completely over it, but you make me feel very bad by always bringing up your past relationship with him. Could you please refrain from doing that ?\"\n\nIf she doesn't understand well, screw her. But if your boyfriend doesn't start putting some boundaries, I don't know if this relationship will be beneficial to your mental health long term. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).\n\nThe blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom \"mom\" most of the time but refer to me as \"mom's kid\" or \"step brother\" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.\n\nMy dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.\n\nI am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet.  I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's.  The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:\n\n1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more\n2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps\n3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one. \n\nWIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ######","completion":" NTA, not at all. I assume your mom isn't going to be super heartbroken, especially with how old you are, so yeah, why not. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’ve been casually sleeping with this guy for about a year. We’re not dating, just a sexual relationship. I didn’t want anything else and we we’re both fine with that. Anyways back in September I found out I was pregnant. I was freaking out since I’m only twenty two and I have so much I want to do before becoming a mother. I had the Depo shot so I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I got the abortion pills and that was that. My FWB is my only sexual partner so I knew the kid was his. \n\n\nI didn’t really think to tell him, it took less than two weeks for everything to happen. We’re not dating or even close to being boyfriend\/girlfriend. Definitely not a situation to bring a baby into. After I took the pills I went and got my bc fixed and and IUD and I made him start wearing condoms since I was so paranoid. \n\n\nOnce during a hookup a few weeks after this, I left to go grab something from my car. He used my bathroom and I guess he saw the wrapping the pills came in my trash and read the instructions. He put two and two together and realized I got an abortion. When I came back up he confronted me. He asked if I got an abortion and held up the packaging. I said yes and he started crying and screaming . He said that it’s not just my choice to make and that I’m disgusting. \n\n\nI kicked him out. We got into a phone call argument and I ended things. It was so weird. You’re not my boyfriend. I don’t owe you an explanation, plus being you wanting to raise the baby on your own still means I have to go through the pregnancy and judgements of abandoning a baby. We never spoke again. I brought this up to my sister recently and she told me I’m the asshole and should have at least told him I was taking the pills beforehand. I don’t see why I should’ve. ######","completion":" NTA, not at all. But you should empty your trash cans more often, he saw the packaging a few weeks later? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 20 year old university student getting through the pandemic and staying away from home because of the travel restrictions.  My mom has been reading the parent pages for my university and came across another parent who apparently wrote repeatedly about how depressed\/lonely her daughter is.  My mom has hounded me repeatedly to let her mom “connect” us but I refuse.  I can only imagine how humiliated I would feel if my parent had publicly posted about my mental state and tried to find strangers to talk to me out of pity.  As far as I can tell, this person isn’t reaching out to any university pages themselves and considering how we are all quarantined, me being in the same city as her at the moment doesn’t mean I could even hang out with her.  My mom says I have no empathy for other people but I also don’t feel like I’m in a good enough  mental state to try to give support to other people when I can’t even give it to myself right now.  \n\ntl;dr I don’t want to be “pity” friend to an adult whose mother is posting about her on Facebook. ######","completion":" NTA, nobody is entitled to your time and you are not obligated to give it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some days ago one of my long term “friends” called my mother a cow for no reason in our group chat. He had been saying that to me and some other friends some for some days prior and we told him he was going too far and to stop because it was rude. He kept doing it and I once again told him to stop and that I’d fight him if he ever did it again. \n\nSo a couple of days later we were talking about Bernie Sanders dropping and I asked who they were planning on voting now. He said “ur mom” then in another message added “who happens to be a cow” so I told him off, told him I’d fight him if I ever saw him again, and kicked him out of the chat. I later asked him if he had a problem with me or why he was saying that about my mother and he said he was doing it because he thought it was funny and apologized but I didn’t accept his apology as I had already told him to stop and he had crossed the line for being unnecessarily rude. \n\nNow the rest of my “friends” are defending him saying he was just joking and they invited him back and now they are treating me like I am the asshole for not forgiving him. I then left the group chat and I haven’t talked to any of them since. Honestly I think I can’t be friends with anyone who can’t respect my mom especially after she did nothing but be super nice to all my friends. ######","completion":" NTA, no decent person would think it's okay to call their friend's mum a cow and to keep on doing it after you voiced discomfort for the first time. he clearly has no respect for a person you dearly love and who has been nice to him. your group of friends are AHs, every one of them, and you're not in the wrong at all for cutting ties with them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner and I are thinking about marriage. Last night I told him I planned on keeping my name and he was clearly devastated by it. He accommodates me in every way I ask, so should I do this for him? It's not a deal breaker for either one of us, but I still feel so guilty now.\n\nI want to keep my name because I feel it's part of my heritage and connects me to my culture. I don't feel any connection to his last name, and I'd be the one creating a whole new identity. However, he feels it's a wholesome part of getting married. He feels that without me taking his last name our marriage will be lacking in some way. ######","completion":" NTA, my wife kept her last name. At first I didnt love the idea, but she wad adamant. She's spent her whole life becoming who she is, and she is proud of the name associated with her. It's a tired old tradition that she doesn't subscribe to. I knew I wasn't interested in changing my last name and neither was she. I've gotten over it, and it really doesn't matter. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger sister has been assigned loads of school work, one of the subjects being art. They have her do drawings then colour them in. Now she doesn’t have any of her own markers, so she uses mine that I got for christmas. I wouldn’t mind if they were cheap Crayola Markers, but these ones are expensive, especially the skin tone ones that are a good 35$. And it’s not like shes been using them for small assignments, she uses them for drawings on a much larger scale. If it was once or twice I wouldn’t mind, but she’s been using them constantly and some of them are starting to dry out. I keep telling her to stop using them as they are my markers. She tells me that markers are meant to be used that I barely use them. I tell her that it’s none of her business how often I use them and that they are meant to be used by me. She will not budge with her, “they are meant to be used“ excuse and refuses to stop using them or acknowledge that they still belong to me. Now she’s all huffy at me because of it. Most people have sided with me but a few have said I’m in the wrong. Am I the A-hole for not letting her use my expensive markers for her constant art assignments? ######","completion":" NTA, my old friend always talked about copic markers and how expensive they were, I don't know if they sell ink refills, but if they do, you should probably try and get her to pay for those, get a small cheap safe off amazon and lock then in their, I wouldn't recommend the cheap safes for cash, but to keep someone out of my markers i would. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.    \n\n\nMy mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room \"how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong.\"   \n\n\nHonestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, my mother pulls crap like this all the time.  I just don't make those types of plans around her anymore.  I already have a kid, I didn't sign up to have to deal with another one that is adult sized. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!! \n\nFor context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name. \n\nIt came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess. \n\nMy friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ######","completion":" NTA, my mom does this, after very calmly talking to her about it 100's of times. It bothers both me and my wife and makes regular happy visits strangely awkward immediately.\n\nI 100% understand your frustration as she is basically ignoring your feelings as well as a very simple request. Best of luck to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have exotic pets, large reptiles and small mammals.\n\nHis kids come over and start going in cages and leaving them unlocked and giving me a heartattack trying to find my pets they released (surprisingly none have killed each other yet) \n\nI told him he needs to leep a better eye on them or Im going to ban them from my house.\n\nToday they caused my tegu to drop his tail (which is extremely hard to do they don’t drop it as easily as your random house gecko it takes a lot of trauma) \n\nSo I kicked them and my brother out and said they aren’t welcome back until they learn to respect me and my animals.\n\nMy mom called me and said Im being a massive prick it’s “just a lizard” \n\nFirst off I’m expecting around a $600 vet bill from this as I have to get him x-rayed to make sure it dropped in a way that didn’t harm him and if you know anything about tegus you know they have the intellect of a 3-5 year old child.\n\nSecond this isn’t the first time they were warned.\n\nThird my brother told me to just buy locks for my cages, It’s not my responsibility to pay to have my cages locked and i don’t want the additional hassle of having to lock and unlock cages twice a day (some cages don’t even have a way to install a lock) \n\n\nMe-23M brother 32M his kids 10F and 8M \n\nAITA\n\nTLDR: brothers kids don’t respect my animals so i kicked them out ######","completion":" NTA, my 10F kid knows to respect people's animals and their things these kids are old enough to understand respect. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ######","completion":" NTA, musicians literally take classes on how to sing in other languages that they don’t know. What the fuck is your friend on about? ######"}
{"prompt":"I grew up with \"Uncle\" and \"Aunt\" siblings. My brother Rob is 42, my sister Patricia is 39. I am \\[Winona\\] 20F.   \nMy brother has a 19-year-old daughter \\[Gina\\] whom I call my sister. We are close. We currently live together and attend the same Uni. We go on a lot of trips together and talk on the phone for hours. She's seriously my best friend.   \nI have a niece \\[Lilly\\] and a nephew \\[Parker\\] who are 8 and 10.   \nPatricia doesn't take the time to call or get to know me. When we are in the same location, she is really dismissive of my interests. She commonly tells me that I sound like a child when I talk *or* that I need to grow up because it was much harder for her when she was a kid.   \nWe all went on a cruise together two years back. I was 19, Gina was 18, and we spent the whole time doing whatever we wanted and staying up until 3 am. Which was super fun!   \nAt the end of the trip, Gina and I posted all the pictures we took. Most of them were with our parents or people we met on the ship, or just stupid faces together. We also had a lot of landscapes and day trips we did.   \nI took zero pictures of Patricia and her family. They acted like we weren't there most of the time unless she wanted us to babysit her kids \\[which we said no to\\].   \nShe got upset when she figured out that we had taken pictures of everyone else and not her family or her kids. She is not big on doing photography herself and claimed \\[since we went on some daytrips together\\] that I would include her kids. I told her that I didn't feel like she viewed me as a sister so why would I want her in my family pictures.   \nShe cried. ######","completion":" NTA, mostly.  Your camera, your social media.  Take and post whatever pictures you want.  You're NTA for not taking pictures of her, and she was something of an asshole for responding that way.\n\nThat being said, saying you don't want her in your family pictures (as opposed to just happening not to take any) was a really low blow.  She doesn't treat you as a sister because she's almost twenty years older than you and is in a totally different stage of life.  What 40 year old enjoys hanging out with a couple teenage girls?  And what teenagers like hanging out with gen-Xers?  That doesn't mean you aren't family.  I can understand why your little quip made her upset. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m not even kidding and I really wish I was joking, like who tf looks at a baby and decide to call him something from twilight? My eldest brother thinks I’m being too hard on him. But, come on guys, Moonlight? I don’t want my nephew to be bullied at school. ######","completion":" NTA, moonlight and Anakin Skywalker from another post earlier today are going to be best friends! ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so basically my girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been dating for just over 4 months it’s been pretty good, little to no arguments about anything.\n\nShe came over last Thursday and said she had a gift for me and one for herself too, I thought this was strange as it’s not near any of our birthdays or anything. She handed a box and told me to open it, inside was a baby camera, immediately my heart started racing as I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, but to my surprise she wasn’t.\n\nShe told me she wants me to put it in my living room so “we can always see each other even when we’re not together” because it is wifi enabled through an app you can get up on your phone.\n\nI spun some story to avoid conflict as she was only going to be at my house for the next hour or so, I told her I was too afraid of hackers getting into it and watching me, but I don’t actually want to be seen at all times by my girlfriend. She called that bluff and got angry with me in which I asked her to leave, she did so in tears.\n\nPlease note she doesn’t use reddit and this isn’t a throwaway but I am not cheating and I wouldn’t so that’s not why I’m opting out of it. \n\nI told her I needed a few days to myself and haven’t seen her since (it’s Monday now) I understand we both have feelings but i don’t know if I disregarded hers too much\n\nAITA for not wanting to put a baby monitor in my house? ######","completion":" Nta, major invasion of privacy, she has to respect that.  That’s fucking weird. ######"}
{"prompt":"I come from a large family. Everyone is going through a tough time right now. In particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. She was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. I get it, anxiety sucks. She says she’s ok for now but one of my other sisters started a group to try to raise money for her. I said I’ll give her money if she asks for it. \n\n  The shit hit the fan. How dare I force her to ask, I know how proud she is! I do know, I’ve offered her desperately needed money before and she’s refused. So have other family members, pride runs strong in the family. I don’t feel like doing it again. She (any of them) can ask me for money or just not get money from me. \n\nMy husband agrees with me. My entire family is calling me a bitch and kicked me out of the texting group. \nAITA here?\n\nETA I think I wasn’t clear enough. The sister who is leading the charge against me offered my underemployed sister money but she said “no” she didn’t need anything right now. Which is why I’m saying “if you need something, just ask. Let me know and I’ll help.\n\nI said “loans” but I never ask my family to pay me back and I make that clear to them. I call it a loan so they can feel better about it. That pride thing again. ######","completion":" NTA, like you said, she’s already refused profusely before, so if she’s really desperate and has no other options she’ll come to her family. i honestly think it’ll hurt her pride more if you all were to actively raise money and then give it to her. she’s an adult, and she can figure it out without her family holding her hand financially ######"}
{"prompt":"So my niece (15f, we’ll call her oliva) and I (15f) are really close in age, she’s a month older then I am. My parents had me when they were both 41, and by then my sister was 20 and already had her own kid. Because of our ages, we’ve never really had the typical aunt\/niece relationship. We’re more like cousins, but she calls me auntie as a joke.\n\nSo I just got a inhaler for some breathing problems I have related to allergies. We were chilling in my room watching tv and she asked to see my inhaler. So I give it to her and for no reason at all, she puts it in her mouth and starts fucking rapidly pressing it over and over again. So I freak out, and wrestle it from her and start yelling at her because man I don’t know if you can overdose on that shit.\n\nAnd I also only got so many uses in one can and she just used up about 20. So I’m yelling at her asking wtf she just did that for and she just gets up and storms out. I kinda just sat there for a moment before I walked out to find her telling her mom (my sister) on me. My sister got really pissed at me, because ‘she was just curious’. \n\nShe said that I had to apologize to oliva, but I laughed at her and said no way. The whole time oliva is just kinda standing there look sheepish. I say no, and she just takes oliva and storms out. My parents are on my side but they said that yelling at her was kinda a asshole move because I really don’t have the right. But she just put her mouth on my medical equipment and used it up. \n\nWas yelling at her really a asshole move? AITA? And does anyone have a idea as to why the hell she thought it was ok to just do that?? ######","completion":" NTA, like you said, she used your medication. Who tf does that? \n\nMy aunt and I are six months apart (I’m older) and the amount of times we’ve yelled at each other for doing something stupid can’t even be counted. If she one day decided to take a bunch of my ADHD meds (no longer on, reasons), I’d flip my shit at her.\n\nYour niece and your sister are assholes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that. Long story short, she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat. We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.,\n\nI don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?\n\n[Kitty](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on :(  \n\n\nEDIT1:   \n HOLLY CRAP! I didn't expect this amount of response! Thank you everyone for taking the time and leave your comment. It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved.  ######","completion":" NTA, kitty was there first, and gf sounds like she needs the therapy if she is going to freak out about being anywhere near a cat.\nYour cat is freakin adorable btw ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my fiancee tore a bunch of pages out of my sketchbook when I let her use it when we played DnD. These were pages she didn't use, and many had drawings on them. I didn't notice she did this until I was given the sketchbook back, and then we had this conversation:\n\nMe: hey, can you be sure to not take any pages out of this next time? Especially if I've drawn on it.\n\nHer: ok?? But you let me use it for dnd\n\nMe: yeah, but I didn't say you could rip out a bunch of pages.\n\nHer: but you said I could have it for dnd.\n\nMe: I never said you could have it, I just told you you could use some of the pages when we play dnd. I even said we should go to walgreens to get more\n\nHer: you shouldn't even be mad about this\n\nMe: its not okay to tell me how to feel\n\nHer: yeah, it is.\n\nMe: no, thats bordering on emotional abuse.\n\nHer: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel\n\nMe: you started making excuses and then started telling me how to feel, of course Im angry\n\nHer: im not making excuses, you clearly dont know what that word means\n\nIt doesn't get any better from there, and ends with her yelling at me that Im always wrong and don't want to admit it. I don't know how to feel or if thats true, so I'm asking you all. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, Just saying, you've called the bullshit spot on and it's being ignored. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought\/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ######","completion":" NTA, just make sure you give them a heads up so they can prepare ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (38) had a child 3 years ago. I (25) took that child under my wing 3 years ago. Here's a bit about the situation. \n\n\nMy sister  has  drug and alcohol addictions. \n\nMy sister give birth to a beautiful little boy. The minute the child was born the social worker where involved as this wasnt my sister 1st child. \nShe had a child 18 years ago and our mother and father ended up taking the child in when he was 4. \n\nThe child born 3 years ago was in the position of going to foster care.  I couldnt let this happen. He's  famiy. so I did everything in my power to kept him in our family \n\nI stept in and took the child under my wing. At 22 this was a big resonabile but I didnt cared. I had to quit my jobs and I had to buy everything for the child as my sister hadn't had anything. She was gifted stuff but the person that gifted it asked for it back. I moved out of my home house to get a house of my own so the child could stay in my care. \n\nMy sister  sign and agreed that I cared for the child. I have full guardianship now. \n\nThe child calls me mammy. And calls my sister by her first name. In the years to come I am going to tell the child everything. The child knows he has a big brother but is to young to understand yet about his birth mother. \n\nThe child sees the mother every week for 2 hours. Due to the covid 19 it had to  be put on hold. However the mother only has two hours once a week and sometimes comes late. She somethings shows up with drink in her (gets turned away the door) and sometimes doesn't even show up at all. \n\nShe hasn't seen the child for 3 or months and I was putting the contact back on today. She didn't show. Didnt ring. Nothing. Found our later she slept in.\n\nI'm my opinion I dont think she's that bothered \n\nI'm not sure if I should continue the contact in future as she is unreliable and it's not fair to the child \n\nWould I be the asshole if I stop contact with the birth mother and the child. ######","completion":" NTA, just make sure you are legally covered. You can always restart contact later if\/when mom cleans up her act. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident? \n\nTLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ######","completion":" NTA, just because she's family doesn't mean you owe her any of your time especially with her saying that to you ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom has always made the joke \"I gave birth to you so this day is actually all about me\" all my life, but as I get older, she has been saying it more and more each time. Today she has been saying it every 20 minutes since this morning, when I came to visit for the day. She has been talking about herself all day more than usual, about her life as a kid growing up in Italy, and I'm just tired of it. Am I an asshole for getting mad and just going in a different room trying to avoid her all day? I just feel selfish wanting a little bit of self importance for my birthday, because she keeps making it about her. My mom went on an hour long talk about how amazing she is in front of my girlfriend and I feel embarrassed. ######","completion":" NTA, just because she birthed you doesn’t make it “her day”. It’s supposed to be a day to celebrate your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my father told my grandparents that i got into a wreck for his self entertainment and to stirr drama as he has in the past to put himself in the spotlight, however i chewed him out for it as it went to far, and he is defending himself saying they knew he was playing however it took me 30 minutes on the phone to convince my grandparents (including my grandfather who is recovering from a stroke still) i feel guilty because he honestly not a bad person but damn if he didint piss me off. ######","completion":" NTA, joke's are only joke's if people are laughing. That sounds like your dad is a sadist. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been applying to jobs for a bit now. Recently, I had a Zoom interview for a position in my town. The listing said nothing about commuting or going to another office.\n\nDuring the interview, the interviewer said “So I know the ad said the job was in x town, but it’s really in y town. Would that be a problem?” That town is an hour and a half away from me one way. I would not have applied for the position and have my location range on the job site set for a certain way. I said “Well, yes. I assumed it was for your x office since you put that town on your ad.” They said “Yes but we wanted more applicants. I personally travel between all of our offices often.” \n\nGood for him, but a 3 hour daily commute would not work for me. I told him I could work for x office if there was a position available. Interview ended not long after.\n\nI went to the online job board I applied on and reported the job for being misleading. It was removed the next day. My husband says I overreacted by having it removed. I think it’s unprofessional to do that. Was I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, jobs shouldn’t advertise as being in a city they aren’t. That’s false advertising. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted away from the family. \n\nHe has said some very rude and offensive things to me and our other brother and uses our parents as an ATM. I can't blame my parents for helping, as it is always some dire emergency like their power is going to be shut off (the GF has two kids from two other guys who live with them) or not enough money for groceries, etc. \n\nRecently, he has refused leftovers that my mother was bringing to him for his lunch at work as the food has been in her house and is \"cursed.\" These lunch drop offs were the only in person contact my mother had with him. When he cut off the visits, it broke her heart and she cried. My mom is not a crier, so you can imagine the protective outrage throughout my family, though we didn't actually go after my brother. \n\nToday is my Mom's birthday. Usually, I would remind my brothers to wish her a happy birthday, but since every time my youngest brother calls, he asks for money and causes general disappointed heartbreak, WIBTA if I didn't remind him? There is a good chance he'll see that it's her birthday on Facebook and that will remind him to call, but if I don't, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA, its not your responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is kind of weird and I guess NSFW. \n\nI’ve been just chilling in my room naked for these past few days because it’s comfortable. I don’t really do this normally. My mom got really angry at me and told me that I had to put cloths on. I told her I’m just in my room and I put on cloths if I want to leave, it’s her own fault if she comes in without knocking first (I’ve told her a bunch she needs to knock, she’s walked in on me changing one too many times..) and it’s not like I’m walking around the house like this. I feel like my room should be my own space and I shouldn’t have to worry about how appropriate my attire is. She said she doesn’t care and ‘what if there’s an emergency?!’\n\nThis is the kicker though: my dad hangs around the house exclusively in his underwear when he’s home. And I’m just like wtf?? It just seems so hypocritical to me lol. She never says a word to him. \n\nI know this is super weird, but I have to know, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it’s your room you should be able to do what you want, But you should at least put underwear on and that’s what I came to a conclusion to before I even read about your dad ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.\n\nAm I the asshole for being angry at my sister?\n\nI apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ######","completion":" NTA, it’s your news to tell. You trusted your sister and your mom. I will say that she might not have known it was a big deal to tell him unless you told her not to tell anyone though, so take that into consideration. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nMy sister(23F) recently took my Tesla our for a joyride. I’m pissed for several reasons. She went into my room, and she stole the key. She also took my Tesla for a joyride without my permission. Nothing bad happened to it, but she always does shit like this. She’s absolutely spoiled and has no boundaries.\n \nI was in the process of buying my parent’s house when I had the idea to kick her out since the house was mine. So, I just left her an eviction notice, and after I legally could, I changed the locks. \n \nA couple of our mutual friends think I’m extremely in the wrong, probably because she lives with some of them now. Lol.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it’s your house and she definitely doesn’t respect you. You have every right to do what you want regarding who lives with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games. \n\nI understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.\n\nI just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?\n\nAny help would be appreciated, thanks! ######","completion":" NTA, it’s your computer. It sounds like your family has other means of accessing the internet and should be fine ######"}
{"prompt":"Just under a week ago my mum's credit card got cloned, meaning she had to cancel it and get a new one. She asked if she could use mine for the time being and I (18f) said sure she can use contactless, there isn't much in it my account and I trust her.\n\nFor context, my brother (13m) without going into too much detail has done some very questionable things that have led to him being kicked out of one school and suspended numerous times from another. \n\nThe issue comes when my brother needs a new pair of trainers because there is a hole in his old ones. The contactless limit where I live (idk if it's different elsewhere) is £45. My mum and brother are leaving the house when my mum turns to me and says \"Can you give me your pin in case the trainers are over that amount\". Now I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone my pin but realistically I would probably give my mum the pin, but my brother is standing right there and I really don't want him to hear it because it wouldn't be that hard for him to take my card and use it, so I say no. The amount itself isn't really an issue because there is enough in my account and my mum said she would pay me back, but it isn't really that hard to find a pair of trainers under £45 anyway.\n\nMy brother starts going off on one about how I'm selfish and he won't be able to get any trainers now thanks to me. My mum is really not confrontational so she just kinda stands there. In the end they both went and brought a decent enough pair of trainers for like 30 quid or something, but my brother's still not speaking to me and my mum says I should've just told her it. \n\nI mean I'm legally an adult now and I don't feel like I'm obligated to tell her anything but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA, it’s not your responsibility to tell your family private details like your PIN number, and £45 is more than enough to buy a pair of trainers for a teenager. Your brother is just being ridiculous because he didn’t get his own way ######"}
{"prompt":"To give some backstory, I was adopted when I was 10 into a single parent household. I was raised primarily by my mom with the help of my grandpa who lives with us. I am now 21 and have always identified as being raised by a single mother. My mom has been dating her bf for close to 5 years now and I am very happy for her. Last year, my mom and I got into an argument because she wanted me to get him a gift for fathers day. I openly opposed since I do not consider him to be my father, nor do I have a close relationship with him. I think he is an amazing person who is good to my mom, but he never helped raised or discipline me. I have barely even spoken to him alone nor have I had a deep conversation with him. In fact I tend to get hyperaware when I do interact with him one on one since I storta want his approval. Although it would be nice to have a deeper relationship, we currently do not have one. I am getting stressed since fathers day is coming up in a month and I know my mom is gonna want me to get him a gift since she has already started to mention it. Last year my mom got angry at me when I just got him a funny\/cute card and she tore it up bc she thought I did not take it seriously enough. My grandpa said it would be considerate of me to get him something and I am confused as to why? My mom said that he has always wanted a child but I am honestly confused as to why she feels so strongly about this. In my opinion, I do not consider him to be any sort of father figure. I feel like I should just such it up and get him something, but I just feel like they are not taking my feelings into consideration. Tbh if I should be getting anyone a father's day gift, it should be my grandpa since I actually consider to be a sort of father figure in my life. ######","completion":" NTA, it’s Father’s Day, not “mom’s nice boyfriend of five years” day. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.\n\nI'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted. \n\nWe've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here. \n\nBob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being \"insubordinate\" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.\n\nHonestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it's your garden. Hardly like its an ISIS flag is it ######"}
{"prompt":"For clarity, I live in the UK. In the UK we are allowed to apply for five universities based on predicted grades, then narrow it down to two later on depending on your offers. If you meet the required grades for those offers, then you choose the university.\nI'm at the phase just before applying. I've been lucky enough to get the predicted grades to apply wherever I want. The problem comes with outside influence. I want particularly to go to a specific uni in Scotland; the buildings and town and course all seem like exactly what I want. Truly, this place is WONDERFUL and I haven't seen any information that would prevent me for choosing it. Also, the distance would allow me to remove myself from toxic friends and mean I don't have to listen to four siblings and two parents yelling at each other whilst I work. \n However, my parents don't want me to apply at all. I live in London so whenever I mention this university they always talk about how selfish I am for wanting to move so far away, how I'd be throwing my future away and how I'm severly limiting myself. Furthermore, I'd like to add that the universities they want me to apply to has the exact same grade requirements as where I want to go, but it has more 'reputation'. They're also all in commuting distance of my house. I haven't said that I wouldn't apply to my parents choice, but I know if I get in it will basically be constant pressure until I accept. \nI've assured my family that I'll come home in the holidays, that I'll facetime them all the time and that I find the course there really fascinating, but they refuse to listen.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it's your future. University is a long commitment, and you don't want to go somewhere which won't make you happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: my laptop was originally given to my mother but she had no interest in it so she gave it to me. I've had it for almost 8 or 9 years. My sister was gifted the laptop she has when she was a teenager and has had it for over a decade. She is also older by 9 years, so 26rn and i'm 17.\n\nA month in quarantine, my sister had asked me to borrow my laptop. I agreed, as long as she gave it back by X hour so i could watch a movie (MHA for those interested). Giving national exams this June, it was extremely hard to find some free time and that was my first day off. I had planned this night for a week!\n\nI had assumed that it was something related to her college since she insisted on not telling me, my bad on this one. That's why i had agreed as hers is old. But NOPE. Turns out, she wanted was to check the size of SIMS so she could download it to her own laptop later. fine. I didn't like it but she said that's all she wanted so again i kept my cool\n\nBut her PC couldn't hold the game. she then turned to me and claimed my laptop as her gaming one. I instantly told her that she can't do that and grabbed my laptop from her and procceeded to yell at her. \n\nWhen mom intervened, to my shock, she tried to defend my sister!! I have to spend long hours on my computer for classes and studying. I barely have any time off and those rare moments of free time; i want to spend them doing something i like! My sister was literally throwing a tantrum over it. \n\nI was furious with both of them. Had i done something like this, they would have cut my head off yet my mom wasn't on my side when she would have for my sister! My mom is a great, but she sometimes pulls this stuff. I wouldn't even care about giving my sister my laptop to play, Had she asked me first!\n\nSo AITA? Still not giving it for those wondering ######","completion":" NTA, it's your computer. She is not entitled to use it. If she wants to play the Sims, she can but a new one herself. You need yours for school. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.  \n\n\nMy girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.  \nI felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.  \nTherefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).  \n\n\nNow today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.   \nBy going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.  \n\n\nSo, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.  \n\n\nAm I the asshole for that? ######","completion":" NTA, it's you account. But I think she means the offline mode on Spotify, not going generally offline ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said \"oh! Just like me but with penis.\" we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.\n\nAnd during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that \" OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type\". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these \"you're my type\" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.\n\nI told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because \"she can't even joke around anymore\" and ended the chat.\nWe never speak about it again.\n\nI talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it's weird that she keeps bringing it up. It seems like she's either uncomfortable with your sexuality or trying to convince herself that you're interested in her but the only reason you're not is because you're not attracted to women..\n\nEither way it's not wrong of you to shut her down over it. She sounds kind of self involved. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, here's the story. My grandparents have 5 grandkids. Me and my younger brother and my 3 cousins who are siblings. The eldest cousin, we will call him Johnny \\[30\\], is a bit of a jerk. Since puberty, he has sort of blown off my family, never really came around for events - birthdays, holidays, etc. Even when he is there, he just sort of does his own thing and cuts out early.\n\nAnyways, my grandparents are fed up with him and his attitude. He's not a bad person, just more interested in his friends \/ hobbies than his extended family. My grandparents are getting up there in age \\[late 80s\\] and decided to dole out inheritance money for the 5 kids grandkids - 10k each! However, Johnny isn't getting any, because they feel like he never cared about them or our family. \n\nNow this is when it gets complicated. Johnny is a bit of an \"alpha\" personality and he's convinced his younger siblings \\[26 and 21\\] DON'T accept the 10k from our grandparents because they're just giving it to them in spite of him, to show that they don't like him and he's the black sheep of the family. \n\nJohnny is now texting my brother \\[25\\] the same thing, who is easily manipulated and trying to decide if he's going to go along with his cousins and not take the money. Johnny hasn't spoken to me yet, probably because he knows I will tell him to take a hike.\n\nI for one will be taking the money because Johnny is a jerk. I agree our grandparents tend to be petty and this act is probably more to prove a point, but why would I deny myself my inheritance?\n\nSo anyways, Johnny is not getting an inheritance, his siblings supposedly are not accepting it and my brother may not be either. But I am happily taking it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it's their money. Johnny can fuck right off. It's his choice to not be involved in their lives, he has no reasonable expectation of getting a cent. Johnny sounds like he is just trying to bully his way into a cut. You should take it and be vocal to your relatives, your brother especially, about their right to the money. They made the choice to treat their grandparents well, Johnny did not. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm one of 6 product managers at a 300 person Silicon Valley tech company, and am the only one on the team with an engineering education (masters and undergrad in CEng). The others have degrees in business or the humanities.\n\nEveryone in my office is currently working remotely. I was one of the last people to log into the morning stand-up video call today and for the first time since the remote work policy was put in effect, I was taking the call from my desk. (Usually I do my meetings from the kitchen where I can spread my work out at the much larger dining table).\n\nMy desk is tiny and crammed into my condo's little \"den\". Displayed directly behind me and right over my shoulder are my 2 engineering degrees and a few other framed design awards and certificates. I don't want to show a screenshot of the wall for privacy reasons, [but here's a diagram I painted of what they would have seen on their screens](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/O8OVfLv.png).\n\nAfter saying our good mornings, one of my PM coworkers loudly said \"WoOoOoOoOh, *somebody* is trying to show off all their big fancy credentials\". Everybody chuckled, so I just laughed along with them and continued with the meeting. Later on though after I had made some input to the ongoing discussion topic, he said again \"good point there from the man with *all the fancy degrees to show us*\".\n\nI want to believe this was a joke, but I'm nervously second guessing myself now and I feel like I might have come off as a pompous ass? Does having them all displayed directly behind me genuinely make me look like a showoff? That's totally not what I was going for. I mean, I didn't bring them to the my office for that reason. Tbh, I didn't even register that they were there.\n\nI don't want to show them off again if it makes me look like a braggart, but I don't want to take them down if I don't need to because I'll look like I fell to peer pressure. I'll probably just end up using the kitchen table from now on. \n\nThoughts? ######","completion":" NTA, it's not uncommon to have degrees in your office or working area, but more importantly this diagram is taking me out ######"}
{"prompt":"I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles.\n\nWe now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well.\n\nI don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday.\n\nNow he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######","completion":" NTA, it's not cool to change your plans last minute, without talking about it first, especially with something that big... ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are relatively well off and bought a house a few months ago. We decided to rent out our second room to help pay off school debt.  We rented it for a few months and our tenant asked to move out and buying his own house. We're sad to see him go but it is a better situation for him. \n\nMy parents are very well off. But my dad works in events has been furloughed to part time and they are bored. When I told my parents we were going to start looking for another roomate they (I know this is extra) asked to rent the room out from us so they wouldn't have to find a hotel when they visit. I guess one of their friends is doing this with their kids. They could actually probably save money on hotels. Since we live in a big city, and my dad and I love doing home projects they will not get bored and I get to see them more. They said they would ask first before they visit (which they will they are very polite) We both have great relationships with both our parents and everyone gets along. My husband loves the idea of basically getting our house to ourselves again and not getting a full time roomate.\n\nMy husband was talking to his parents today and basically offered the room to them when they visit. I basically told him we cannot do that on the account of\n\n1. My parents are going to furnish the room and I don't know if they want other people in their bed\n\n2. It's now my parents rental and therefore their space that they pay for and we should treat it as if they own it\n\n3. I do not feel comfortable asking my parents to let other people stay, or asking my in-laws to ask my parents permission. I feel like they have to offer it to us. I wouldn't expect that of a roommate either so why would I expect that of my parents.\n\nI love my in laws and I love to have them visit but I do not want to take my parents for granted. ######","completion":" NTA, it's not a spare room anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé (32M) has guardianship of his 13 year old sister. When we get married, we plan for me to have guardianship of her as well. I live with them and parent her for all intents and purposes. I check homework, take her to school (or right now, make sure she’s doing online schooling), make the two of them meals, do her laundry, talk to her about things, etc. Her mom died when she was little and she has said I’m like a mother figure to her.\n\nRecently, we were talking about makeup and such. She brought it up. She asked me if she could get makeup. I didn’t see a big deal in it and got her some neutral lip glosses, lipsticks and mascaras. It was nothing wild and all went with her skin tones. I taught her how to apply it and she seemed to be happy with it.\n\nMy fiancé, however, is not happy. He says this wasn’t my choice to make and I should’ve asked him first. I’ve bought stuff for her in the past without asking him and it’s never been an issue. He’s had me deal with “girl stuff” when it comes to her, such as taking her bra and regular clothes shopping, dealing with her first period, etc. I didn’t think makeup would be any different. He says that he can’t tell her to not wear it now,because I already gave it to her. I said it was just lip gloss and some mascara and he was still upset. He said “he’s her guardian, it’s up to her”. To me, I’m more than just the fiancé.\n\nAm I in the wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA, it's normal for teenagers to want to play with makeup. I'm really not sure why your fiance has such an issue with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ######","completion":" NTA, it's just good hygiene to wear socks when borrowing shoes. I honestly don't know how people can comfortably wear sneakers without socks, anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our dog had to have surgery to remove some cysts. She has incisions on her belly and at the base of her tail which required stitches and staples. The vet gave us a cone to keep on her so that she will not chew on her stitches and staples. He said even licking them may cause infection so encouraged us to keep the cone on as much as possible. He did say we can take it off of her when we are in the room with her and can watch her but said the more we keep it on the more she will get used to it. \n\nThe dog hates the cone and when we first got her home she tried to pull it off and then refused to lay down, just stood by her bed for 20 minutes looking pissed off. My wife felt really sorry for her so took it off and said she would watch her, I  want to keep it on as much as possible. I put it on her and go on about my day and every time I come back my wife has taken it off because she feels bad. \n\nDay 3, I come down from my office (working from home), my wife is in the shower, the dog is coneless and bleeding from pulling out some stiches. I lost it, yelled at my wife for being irresponsible and not doing the dog any favors. I told her she was being the exact opposite of loving and kind to the dog. Sometimes being tough is the kind thing to do. I really went off. My wife was crying that she didn't do it on purpose, she was just taking a quick shower, she thought it would be OK. I am really pissed off. The dog is back at the vets under anesthesia getting stitched up. More money &amp; putting the dog under more stress.\n\nAm I the asshole for making the wife feel like shit? ######","completion":" NTA, it's infuriating when owners can't be bothered to follow post-op care instructions. \n\nAnd goddamn I can't STAND when people pull the excuse of, \"Ok I know I did exactly what everyone told me I must absolutely NOT do, but in my defense, I thought I could just get away with doing it anyway.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.\n\nMyself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.\n\nWe are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######","completion":" NTA, it's his problem to find a way to cover HIS part of the rent. \n\n(Also, by your roomates logic, she should be totallt cool with you moving out as well and then pay the entire rent of the apartment herself.) ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a house with 4 other guys. Most of us prefer a temperature of around 70-72 degrees. I myself like it to be 68 which isn't that far lower.\nWe have one roommate however who like it in the low-mid 80's. When we moved in we fought over the temperature. We decided to have a discussion and we agreed that we would set the thermostat (it's a smart ecobee thermostat) to a range of 72-74. But we made the rule if other roommates were gone for the day, working or spending the night with a girlfriend, that as long as the others in the house agree, it could be changed until the one person gone comes back, and then they need to set it back to the range (it's a simple tap on the screen, takes no more than a second)\n\nAs I said, i like it cooler, and am currently furloughed from work because of everything going on. So I ask if it's ok to turn the temp down during the day when the individual who likes it warmer is gone at work.\n\nHowever, when he get's home, he gets upset that it's so cold even though we agreed that we can change it if the other roommates agree.\n\nWell it came to a head today, when he got home early in the morning because he stayed with his girlfriend, he got home and it was 68 degrees. Instead of turning it back to the agreed upon range, he changes the settings so it wasn't a range and set it so we couldn't turn it below 73 without changing the settings again. (it's a smart thermostat, you can do that)\n\nI bought this thermostat myself because no one wanted to spend more money. So, when I saw that he did this, I decided to lock it.\n\nNow the settings can no longer be changed, only the temperature can.\n\nTLDR: \nRoomate changes temp to warmer than agreed upon temp and sets the settings up so we can't change it back lower. So I locked the thermostat (I also paid for the thermostat myself) \nAm I the asshole for putting a passcode on the thermostat? ######","completion":" NTA, it's easier to put on warmer clothing. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SO has two kids and I’ve been with him for 3 years.  Recently moved in with him back in January.  Before I moved in I had a lot more time to myself and got really into an online game that has a commitment to be online and play with a group of people 2 days a week.  My real life friends play this game, which is how we spend time together these days. \n\nMy SO hates that I game.  Sometimes he is chill with it, but times like yesterday where I played an extra hour Monday night when he was going to bed (he sleeps at 8 PM) or if he’s just in a bad mood he starts making comments about how I’m “cracked out on games” or that games are obviously more important than him and nothing gets done around the house unless he does it (he was upset his kids made messes around the house), or that I put a group of random dudes over him.  He also said that he might as well go out to a bar and hang out with a bunch of chicks because it’s the same thing.\n\nI pretty much refuse to stop gaming at this point as this is my major point of contact with my friends (we live far away and we have shelter in place).  I’ve cut down time significantly already to 2-3 hours in the evening 2 days a week. Everything else I do with him 100% - I have no other hobbies outside of this relationship.  I also pay 3\/4 of the rent, work full time (although I work from home and he has to physically work 12 hrs a day), cook every night and do some of the cleaning, although most of the cleaning is admittedly on him (laundry\/mopping\/dishes).  I help his older kid with homework every day he is here and have been the primary driver of making sure his kids are behaving, going to bed on time, etc.\n\nI feel like I have a right to have some “me time” a couple hours a night for a couple days a week.  So AITA for refusing to give up gaming? ######","completion":" NTA, it's cool to have a hobby. I dunno what he expects you to do. Not have any? He's probably just insecure, but I bet he watches shows or hangs on his phone in the spare time, so what's the problem? ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: I'm a trans guy. Deadname means the name I do not use anymore.\n\nAbout a month ago my friend made an Instagram post about how much she misses everyone and dedicated a little section in the comments for specific friends saying what she missed about them.\n\nIn my section she puts my deadname in parentheses next to my preferred one. She obviously did not have to do this and her reason behind it was she had a friend with the same name as me so she had to specify. I tried to tell her she could've put my last initial instead.\n\nShe has lots of friends\/followers who could've seen the post and that makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want people knowing my deadname at all.\n\nShe kept telling me no one cares and that most of her friends that saw it were LGBT+ which still does not make it right. ######","completion":" NTA, it's called a deadname for a reason, it doesn't matter if most of her friends are LGBT+, queer folk can still be transphobic.  Not to mention it's blatantly disrespectful and transphobic to use someone's deadname, as it invalidates their identity. ######"}
{"prompt":"I enjoy singing but I am VERY bad at it admittedly.  I have no pitch or tone but I like to sing alone in my room usually to songs or I’ll even do karaoke by myself I know I’m bad but I like doing it, it’s fun and a stress reliever. I moved in with an roommate a couple months ago and he hates my singing (I don’t blame him) but I was singing in my room a few weeks after moving in and he had asked me to stop and not to do it when he’s home, I said sure it seemed like a reasonable request although I don’t sing that loud. Well the other day I thought my roommate was out and was singing some karaoke in my room and didn’t think he’d be home for a couple of hours. He ended up coming back early with a couple of friends and they heard me singing (I’d didn’t hear them come in as I had headphones in). Well he actually sent them home and BLEW up on me saying that I embarrassed him with my terrible singing and that no one should be singing like that unless they’re a professional.  he also doesn’t want me singing at all in the apartment. I apologized and said I didn’t know that they would be home but he’s still mad at me. But I don’t really feel like TA here. What do you guys think AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it's a form of expression and freedom. It brings you happiness and stress relief. You are in your own home, and deserve to have all of that. You already compromised to not do it when he is home, and if he comes home early and hears it, he should give you respect and let you know. \n\nIt takes two seconds to send a message and let you know, that way you are respecting his request, and keeping the peace. \n\nDude needs to learn how to live with other people before he blows up on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.\n\nLately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to \"help out\" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.\n\nNot only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees. \n\nI finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee. \n\nOf course she cried to my brother that I \"attacked\" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ######","completion":" NTA, it's a business to be run by the owners . She is not an owner. This would be no different if your brother worked in a bank and she kept going in to offer them financial advice. You guys, as part of the business, need to hold a meeting and set distinct parameters about spousal involvement, what is permitted and what isn't. There needs to be consequences in place for infractions. Set up a rule like no spouses in the office, meet outside the building or go for lunch. Or no spouses past the lobby. Something specific and some kind of deterrent to prevent her from overstepping her boundaries and your brother for allowing it. I understand he might be getting an earful at home, but that's on him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the middle of three. I have a younger sister (25) and an older brother (30). I'm 27. My parents, over the years, saved up 30k to be split between my sister and I for when we eventually got married, which would be 15k each. \n\nMy sister got engaged before me, and they planned their wedding for April 2020. As you can imagine, this couldn't happen. They'd picked an all inclusive venue and spent the entire 15k. Unfortunately, their venue has been horrible, denied any refund. Wedding insurance doesn't cover pandemics and they're now going under anyway. The 15k is just...gone. \n\nMy sister now wants to elope, which my parents and other family are absolutely horrified by. She and her fiance say they can't afford to pay for a wedding themselves because of their job situations. The only thing she has from the first wedding that she could take to a second is her wedding dress, which would still need to be altered.  \n\nThe women in the family have been crying about it in every conversation I've had with them and begging my sister to not elope, they'll figure it out. My parents now want to take the other 15k and give my sister another wedding, obviously at a different venue.\n\nIt ended up being a huge fight of accusing me of blaming my sister for causing the pandemic, wanting her to elope and not get \"her wedding\" because I'm jealous, and why save it when I'm still single and will be for years now anyway. I'm 27! I'm not an old maid. I'm not jealous of my sister, I was happy for her before all this, but it would have been nice to know that when I got married, my parents could help me out too. I'm not saying it's her fault that the first one didn't happen, but factually she would be getting two weddings paid for and I'll be getting zero. \n\nIt's probably happening regardless of what I say, but am I wrong to be a little angry about it? ######","completion":" NTA, it was appropriate to state your position, but I hope you didn't do it in an angry way or it just makes you look bad.\n\nIf your sister has any class she'll just elope and let all the women in the family be upset.  Your sister knows she spent her share, and apparently is aware that anything more would come out of your hide.  You might have better luck lobbying your sister than your mother.\n\nCovid cost me a fully paid cruise package for 3, I had trip insurance but the pandemic wasn't covered.  It bothered me for weeks but I've decided to just let it go.  It's nobody's fault.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nMy parents are divorced. They've really been fighting a lot, and they fight a lot about material possessions.\n\nTry and one up each other getting me things, but also try to force me to leave them behind when I go to the other's houses, like they want their houses to be the best ones with the best things. Argue if I come home from the others house with things dirty or misplaced accusing the other of purposely stealing or destroying things.\n\nIt's ridiculous and it seems like a power play between them. And I'm sick of fighting over THINGS. Damn pieces of plastic or metal or whatever should not have this power over us.\n\nSo I told both my parents that THINGS that they fight about don't bring me happiness, they bring me sadness. And if there's any fighting or petty anger about a thing, I'm gonna give it away or throw it away because I'm sick of my life being ruled by stuff.\n\nI won't take gifts anymore because they always come with terms and drama\n\nAnd I have been doing it. I've gotten rid of most of what I own because of this pettiness. I really just have the bare minimum at each house. Both my parents had banned me from giving or throwing anything else away so now I've just picked a closet in each house that things go into, and once they're in they don't come out. If my parents try and take them out I put them back.\n\nIt's made me happier. No more fights about which parent \"stole\" a thing when that thing is gone. I don't have to remember as much about what I can take from house to house and what has to stay at one house so I won't start a fight\n\nBut both my parents are resentful of me for my switch in attitude. My mom is mad that I don't do some of my hobbies anymore and my dad is mad that I gave away things that he paid for.\n\nAITA for giving up as many possessions as I can? ######","completion":" NTA, it sounds more like your parents are trying to use you as a pawn to keep hurting each other instead of being mature adults about their divorce. The way you are going about it wont work though you may have to try to sit them down together and try to get through to them.\n\nIf all else fails pull the parental alienation card and say its emotionally abusive. But this is only for extreme situations ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI have a pretty old but reliable Lenovo laptop that is worth 300$,maybe less.(I got the laptop as a  birthday gift from a family friend) \n\nMy father decided to build a new computer for the family to use,which he spent 1250$ on,a computer that is used 99% by my brother,because he plays Fortnite and Roblox and he doesnt want to play those games on his phone.\n\nToday,my mother had some work to do on the PC and my brother was angry that he couldn't stream idk what game.(that he also had on his phone ). \n\nHe of course started whining and mom told me to get  off my laptop to let him do what he wanted to.\n\nI of course refused. He smashed my laptop's  screen to its keyboard multiple times. My mother also did that when I was playing and she almost broke my fingers since they got cought betwwen the screen and the keyboard. \n\nShe called me an ungrateful brat and took away my laptop. \n\nSo,Reddit,am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, it sounds like your mother doesn’t want to parent your brother and deal with his anger issues and potential gaming addiction (based on his reaction to not being able to game for a while). ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (19f) and my sister (21f) haven’t gotten along since we were very young, as when she turned 11 she developed an anxiety disorder and couldn’t go to school. She refused to talk to anyone much less me. She got a therapist and started going back to school, but became rude, spoiled and downright abusive at times to my parents due to them not disciplining har as they were afraid this would trigger her anxiety. This means she is extremely messy, insists on eating in her room and not taking her plates down until they get mouldy, and would occasionally throw objects at people if she got angry.\n\nI also have issues with her as she refused to let me see a therapist (even if they were completely different to hers) until she stopped seeing her therapist. This happened when I was around 16 when I was almost immediately diagnosed with clinical depression, and had to be hospitalised at one point. I have no way of knowing if seeing a therapist earlier would have stopped this, however I had known that mentally something was wrong before this, and it has caused feelings of resentment.\n\nNow both me and my sister are going to College and my family want us to share an apartment that they would be willing to pay for. I refused and said that I would pay for my own apartment. My sister started calling me a selfish AH because of this, and my parents didn’t back me up. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it sounds like your family is focused on your sister at your expense and its damaged your health and happiness. Maybe someday you can reconcile with your sister, but living together right now seems like one of the worst possible ideas. If you can afford it, get your own place and take the time and space you need to be happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship.  Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA, it sounds like he isn't completely over his ex. \n\nWhy did you move in with this guy so early if he is still in that kind of contact with his ex, against your wishes? ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so during Quarantine, I (15M) get on a Discord call with a few ok my friends every night for about an hour or two.\n\nLast night my Mom asked my to help her find her phone. So I muted myself and went to help her find it. Around 5 minutes of looking in a different room, my Mom had put ok my headphones and listened to the call.\n\nShe had made up the missing phone just so she could listen to the call. I was angry and shutdown my PC immediately and angrily, but not yelling, to give me my headphones.\n\nShe started yelling about how she was my Mother and was entitled to listen to my conversations. So this one Subreddit who likes to judge people AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it sounds like an invasion of privacy to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year. \n\n\nWe live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway. \n\n\nSo shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one. \n\n\nHis lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision. \n\n\n\nHe has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago. \n\n\nI don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on. \n\n\nI can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######","completion":" NTA, it seems wise.  Your history with him is very rocky.  It seems he has a history of cutting and running when there's a difficulty, and I bet that is what happens in two weeks when he has to leave his current place. ######"}
{"prompt":"There's this candle company that makes candles based on different locations and the majority of them are jokes. The one for Ohio is unscented and says something to the effect of the state being boring and uninteresting. I decided to share it with my family, especially my sister, S, because she lives there. When S saw it she immediately went into a long paragraph about how Ohio was a great state and how the meme was offensive to her and her girlfriend's family. I tried to laugh it off and say it was just a joke and that she shouldn't take it so personally, but then she quotes Until Dawn at me: \"It was just a prank, Han.\" Like seriously? Over a candle? I told her to stop being so melodramatic and get over herself. She comes at me with how she found it offensive and I should apologize. I didn't even make the candle and people make fun of other states all the time. I don't think I should have to apologize for this, but idk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, it is just a joke your sister is overreacting ######"}
{"prompt":"To start with, both my parents and grandparents are now dead. But while my grandma was alive, she told me she wanted me and my brother to have our mums share of their house when she went. Her reasoning being, her other children, my aunts and uncle, would all be giving their children, my cousins money from the house, and as our mum wasn't alive, we wouldn't benefit as much as the others.\n\nShe also saw me more as a daughter than a granddaughter as my parents were pretty useless, and she raised us more as her own children. We are also at least 20 years older than the other cousins, so are much nearer in age my aunts and uncle rather than our cousins. \n\nI then found out, that my aunt D, had persuaded my grandma to change her will so we didn't get anything from her, as in her words, we had already had our inheritance from our parents, (£30'000 from my mums pension, nothing from my dad) so we didn't deserve any more than that. My mum had been given £120'000 from an ex husband a little while before she died, but she spent it all on heroin, so we didn't see any of that. \n\nSo am I being the arsehole and being greedy for just wanting the money my grandma wanted me to have? Or am I in the right? I feel very betrayed by them, and can't seem to get over it. ######","completion":" NTA, it doesn't sound like being greedy, your grandma wanted you to have this money. The fact that aunt pressured her to chwnge her decision is dodgy af. I'd seek legal advice maybe on r\/legaladvice im not sure if it would help but this aunt sounds like shes being greedy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I wake up on my birthday. The doorbell rings and my husband walks in the bedroom and screams \"YOU can get up and answer that, it's YOUR friend, I'm not dealing with that shit.\" The neighbor came over to drop her son (7) off to play with our kids. I literally just woke up. I'm the type that needs some coffee in me and my brain is fuzzy and can't focus on anything until my brain \"turns on\". We just moved here and getting to know some neighbors. I know this person just as much as he does. He says he doesn't like her because she is annoying and obnoxious. I don't care because her kids and my kids like eachother and play and are good to eachother. Also, he does this shit all the time. He gets pissy when anyone stops by. He gets pissed off at random people at stores. He gets pissed when people on the phone aren't saying what he wants to hear and hangs up. He is short tempered. I always have to deal with everything and everyone because he doesn't like dealing with other people. Unless they're getting stoned with him. So back to the beginning. I'm waking up and getting yelled at by my husband to answer the door. On my birthday. And I'm pissed. Cuz I can't even wake up and start a good day now cuz he's being a complete dick cuz of this. AITA for getting \"emotional and upset\" for him waking me up because he wants to be a selfish dick and can't give me ONE fucking day out of the year? ######","completion":" NTA, it does not matter if it is your birthday or not, your husband should never scream at you to get the door. Repeat your husband should never scream at you to get the door. That is abusive behavior. Put a stop to it right now.\n\nYour husband getting pissy when anyone stops over sounds like he is trying to isolate you. That is not good. He does not have to socialize with the people who stopover.\n\nYour husband should be able to deal with the neighbor who dropped off her kid. He can cut the conversation short by thanking her for bringing her kid over and then saying he was in the middle of doing something.\n\nYour husband sounds like an authoritarian. ,It always has to be his way. He needs to learn that he is not the ruler of his own little world. He needs to learn that things will not get resolved his way all of the time. He needs to learn give and take. \n\nYour husband does not have a short temper, he has anger management issues. He needs to learn how to act like an adult. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sibling has a small dog that they want to register an an emotional support animal (ESA) by using this website that states it is a legitimate site for registering your pet as an ESA. I had made a comment saying that if they wanted to do that, they needed to do it properly and get approval from a therapist as most websites like that are total scams and just end up with people printing off a piece of paper to ‘certify’ they have an ESA. \n\nThey got upset and continued to argue it was a legitimate website. I then asked why they wanted the certification as I hadn’t known they were struggling with any mental health issues (I was genuinely curious). Here’s where I got mad. They said they only want the dog certified so it can fly on planes without being in a cage!!! \n\nAs someone who has a mental illness and is in therapy for it and struggles everyday, I found that offensive in a way. They were abusing a system created to help those with legit illnesses just so their dog could fly in their lap. I told them that wasn’t a smart idea and it took away from legitimate ESAs and just perpetuated the problem of falsified ESAs and service dogs. They got upset and said it was fine because everyone else does it and they don’t want the dog to be in a carrier for hours on a flight. I continued to explain why that wasn’t smart and was bad for the people who really need these type of certifications. My parent stepped in and agreed with my sibling as well saying that they weren’t directly harming anyone. I just left the conversation and it hasn’t been brought up since but I know they still plan on doing that anyways. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA, it absolutely does harm to those who actually need ESAs and it's also just a bad idea to fly with an animal in general unless it's necessary. \n\nYou might convince her otherwise by mentioning it's a crime in many states to fake service animal credentials (sorry for the long post)\n\nARIZONA. House Bill 2588 introduced in 2018 states those who \"fraudulently misrepresent\" service animals can be fined $250.\n\nCALIFORNIA. Penal Code 365.7 introduced back in 1995. Those pretending to be an owner of a service dog is a criminal misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $1,000 and\/or up to six months’ imprisonment.\n\nCOLORADO. House Bill 16-1426 passed in 2017 states it is a class 2 petty offense to intentionally misrepresent an animal as a service animal in the state. Violators of this new law will be hit with a fine of $25 for their first offense, $50-100 for a second offense and $100-500 for a third or subsequent offense.\n\nFLORIDA. CS\/SB 414 This law passed in 2015 classifies misrepresenting a dog as a service animal as a second-degree misdemeanor. Those who are caught breaking the law face a $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail.\n\nIOWA. Senate File 2365 Passed this year in 2018, an offender can face 30 days in jail, a fine, or possibly both.\n\nIDAHO. § 18-5811A Since 1997 in Idaho, any person, not being a disabled person or being trained to assist disabled persons, who use an assistance device or assistance dog to gain treatment or benefits as a disabled person, is guilty of a misdemeanor. (No specific punitive measures stipulated e.g. fine or imprisonment)\n\nKANSAS. K 39-1112 Introduced in 2015, this is a class A Misdemeanor: No fines or penalties specifically indicated.\n\nMAINE. 17 M. R. S. A. § 1314-A Passed in 2015, any person who commits a civil violation for which a fine of not more than $1000 may be adjudged for each occurrence.\n\nMICHIGAN. MCL 752.61 - 63 Passed in 2016 a violation is a misdemeanor punishable by 1 or more of the following: imprisonment for not more than 90 days, a fine of not more than $500.00, community service for not more than 30 days\n\nMISSOURI. V. A. M. S. 209.204 Introduced in 2017 any person found in breach of this law is guilty of a class C misdemeanor and shall also be civilly liable for the amount of any actual damages resulting from such impersonation. Any second or subsequent violation of this section is a class B misdemeanor.\n\nMINNESOTA. HF3157*\/SF2646\/CH106 This year in 2018 an offender will be subject to a $100 fine 1st offense, and a misdemeanor charge for a 2nd offense which can include $1000 fine and\/or 90 days in prison.\n\nNEBRASKA. Neb. Rev. St. § 28-1313 A person commits unlawfully using a white cane or guide dog if not blind as defined by law and carries, displays, or otherwise makes use of a white cane or guide dog. Unlawful use of a white cane or guide dog is a Class III misdemeanor. Passed in 2008.\n\nNEVADA. N.R.S. 426.805 Since 2005, a person is guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of not more than $500.\n\nNEW HAMPSHIRE. N.H. Rev. Stat. § 167-D:10 Passed in 2015 any offender shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and subject to enhanced penalties in paragraphs II and III. (fines and penalties not stipulated)\n\nNEW JERSEY. N. J. S. A. 10:5-29.5 Introduced in 2013 an offender shall be fined not less than $100 and not more than $500.\n\nNEW MEXICO. N. M. S. A. 1978, § 28-11-6 Violations dating back to 1978 is a misdemeanor. (fines and penalties not stipulated but referred to as misdemeanor under NM Common Law) ######"}
{"prompt":"I was at a party with my friends and everyone was either drunk or high. It was a good time, one thing led to another and a lot of us girls were topless. There is a male friend in our group who takes candid pictures of us everytime we hang out because he likes to capture the moment. And that's what he did when we were topless. I think I was the only one who noticed so I went up to him later in the night and asked him to delete them. He was not sober at all so he says he doesnt remember this conversation. Basically, I asked him to delete the photos and he straight up said no. I'm not a confrontational person so I let it go. He went to bed and while i was sitting with everyone else, I told them what had happened. They got absolutely enraged and grabbed his phone while he was asleep to delete the pictures off of it. The next day, the guy who took the pictures found out what had happened and messaged me and basically told me that I should have asked him directly instead of making a huge deal out of it. I told him that I did and he said he didnt remember and I should've waited till he was sober and asked him again before dragging his name through the mad. I feel absolutely horrible because maybe he's right and I made a big deal about it for no reason. In the moment, I just wanted the photos deleted because it was stressing me out and as a girl, something like that could ruin my life. Am I the asshole for not asking him a second time and going directly to my friends? ######","completion":" NTA, inebriation isn't an excuse for being an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was a baby my grandmother used to hand sew me a birthday dress every year, and a matching one for my favourite doll. The dresses were beautifully smocked and must have taken weeks to sew. It was a bit of a tradition. I’ve been keeping these dresses (left with my mother in my childhood home) for the last 30 odd years thinking that one day I’ll pass them down to my own daughter. Well today is my nieces first birthday and my mom sends me a picture of niece in my dress that I was keeping. I’m fuming! My mom doesn’t think it’s a big deal and refuses to apologise for giving it to her. She says she’ll get the dress back when my niece outgrows it. But I can’t help think that the dress will be torn or stained , and also it’s my dress that I’ve been keeping for my own child and I don’t want my niece to wear it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, incredibly rude of your mother to give your belongings to your niece. I hope you can get the dress back in a civil manner. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been saving money for my niece and nephew since their birth as I thought I wouldn't be having children of my own. Since then I've saved 10K$ for each kid. It's not a lot of money but enough to pay for a few semesters of college. \n\nMy nephew is extremely bright and he managed to get a full ride scholarship to a really good school. He chose to buy a second hand car and save the rest of the money. He said he's going to use it as emergency cushion and I think that's responsible. \n\nWhen my niece turned 18 I also gave her the money which she has used to fund three semesters of college. Now she is asking for more money because she thinks it's unfair that I also gave her brother the same amount when he has a scholarship. In my view it's fair to give them both the same amount of money. Not giving her brother money feels like punishing him for getting the scholarship. I told her that I would not be funding any more of her education. It's up to her to fund the rest of her semesters. She didn't try to argue but she went to complain to her dad. Now my brother is saying the same thing that I'm favoring my nephew over my niece. \n\nAITA? I feel that they are being ridiculous. I'm not giving niece any more money as I'm saving for my own children as well and I can't ask my nephew for the money back. It's not fair to him. ######","completion":" NTA, in fact you would be the asshole if you gave her more.\n\nYour brother is so entitled for even arguing. Your nephew shouldn't be punished for getting a scholarship! You are 100% right in your thinking, stand your ground!\n\nEdit: you are also a really great aunty ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.\n\nI pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.\n\nEven with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was. \n\n*\"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!\"*\n\nI felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, in fact you sound like a really nice person, besides it's your money ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory, I’ve (23m) been in a very great, loving relationship with my boyfriend (24m) for almost 3 years now. My parents and I already have a pretty bad past, including kicking me out of the house when they found out I was in a same-sex relationship. They claim it’s not because they’re homophobic and instead believe that my bf is abusive, manipulative and is keeping track of how much money he spends on me so I’m stuck in this relationship trying to pay my way out. In 3 years, my parents and boyfriend have been in the same room under 10 times and my parents have spoken to him maybe 5 times, if that. We haven’t been in contact much since I was kicked out, and in a few months, my bf and I plan on getting engaged. I don’t feel as though they deserve to attend my wedding because they haven’t been supportive most of my life and they definitely haven’t supported my relationship. My sister and other extended family think I’m the asshole for even contemplating This idea. Their thought process is “they’re your parents and your elders and you’d be so selfish to take this day away from them. They deserve this just as much as you think you do.” My parents aren’t paying for a single thing and they still refuse to even acknowledge my bf as part of my life. My bf has been extremely supportive and even though they’ve treated him with so much disrespect, he said they’d still be welcome if I want them to be there. At this point, I just don’t know what to do. Am I wrong for not wanting to invite them? ######","completion":" NTA, im also am not inviting certain family members because of drama to my wedding. Ultimately its your day to be happy and if your happier without them then do it, you do you OP i hope its wonderful for you ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is the executor of my grandma's estate. Me, my sister and our cousin are the only beneficiaries of the estate. Me and my cousin live out of state. My sister took advantage of the opportunity to mismanage the estate and steal a lot of money. For example:\n\n* She lived in my grandma's house rent-free with her boyfriend for 2 years. She paid the mortgage and utilities out of the estate account. The estate also paid for improvements on the property which benefited her.\n* She kept many valuable things like my grandma's expensive collectible figurines. She pocketed at least $10,000 cash instead of putting it into the estate account.\n* The house was on the market for at least 3 years. She threw many parties and failed to maintain the property when she was living there and I think that it hurt the house's chances of being sold. She ended up selling the house at a big loss because she wanted to move somewhere else.\n* The will said that the estate was to be split evenly between me, my sister and our cousin. My sister kept $57,000 and gave me and my cousin only $700 each. Her excuse was that she paid many out-of-pocket expenses and she had to compensate herself for being executor. She wouldn't provide any documentation that supported her claims. She raided the estate account and now there's only $700 left which is my share that I won't cash.\n\nThere's more to the story but I hired a lawyer to fix this situation. My sister should have been paying rent to the estate and she should have done many things differently. My cousin wants nothing to do with this lawsuit. The rest of my family is angry with me for dragging my sister through this. They're telling me that my sister did everything right. They called me greedy and begged me to drop the lawsuit. Literally no one is on my side except my husband. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, IF, and this is a big, important IF, you’re absolutely positive that what you’ve lined out here is a true and unbiased accounting of events. If you sue her, you will be required to explain and document these statements to the satisfaction of some pretty high standards. \n\nReally, really think about the way this story would look written by someone outside your family who doesn’t know or care about any of you, because that’s the kind of person you need to convince if you go down this path. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother asked for divorce Then proceeded a 4 month campaign to gaslight her about why. My SIL was blindsided. My SIL is not English fluent and has no real friends or family here and hadn’t worked. Over the four months after he demanded divorce he sweet talked her into meeting his lawyer in the hopes to have her sign papers with out offering fair terms for separation or representation. She was going to do it. My brother cheated on my SIL and only admitted to the affair after lying to everyone and learning that my SIL has proof. Then COVID shut down now she’s ‘trapped’ here. I chose to help her cause no one else in my family would. My other siblings agree he did some thing wrong but they are on his side. They are all narcissistic in their own way and my older sibling is actually going through the same situation with her SO but in reverse. (ie they are the cheater) my brother spent his life telling us he’d never be like our dad, cheating lying, and victimizing women over money. That used to be the biggest insult you could call him. Now when my SIL points that out he laughs in her face. Now my selfish siblings have sided with him andI think it will break our family entirely. \nI never felt My siblings ever treated me with respect or regard. They are all childless and  do better than me financially, abandoned me to take care of my aging parents alone, and only call to hear about how ‘shitty’ my life is cause (I’m not rich and raising kids is hard sometimes) or unload their emotional baggage when they feel bad. When the line got drawn in the sand I chose to help. I resolved that I’ll have to be ok with putting this final nail in the coffin of our relationship. But I chose to help the vulnerable over family. When it’s all done and she moves out of my house and flies home. I will have an empty bedroom and my children will have no aunts and uncles. AITA ######","completion":" NTA, if your siblings actually had a great life, then they wouldn’t need to pump themselves up by insulting you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Despite social distancing guide lines, my mom seems to want to invite a new person over every other day. Not only that she tends to have a bad habit of asking me to take on much of the hosting responsabilities like cooking, catering, and entertaining. \n\nToday mom invited some of her friends and their gaggle of kids to play in the pool. She was doing most of the catering this time which was nice sense I wasn't interested in being there. this was partially because I was tired from all these social gatherings but also because I'm trying to do my own things in my room. \n\nThey all went to the backyard so I went to my room and started setting up my art project. Minutes later mom starts calling my name. I go to see what's wrong. It turns out she's tired. She wants me to come downstairs so she can take a nap in her room. I *really* didn't want to hang out with them.\n\nShe said, *\"Oh come on. you can just stay here in the living room. It's just in case they need anything. You can even bring you art stuff down here.\"*\n\nHere's the kicker: We have a macaw who is bonded to me. When other people are around she's relatively quiet but if I'm there she flips out and tries her darndest to get me to pick her up. I have ADHD. I *cannot* consentrate on my work when she's clinging to me. I just can't. I need piece and quiet.\n\nI put my foot down and told mom that I did not want to be downstairs right now. She got really annoyed but didn't fight it any further. Moments later I heard her tell her friends that she was going to sleep on the couch instead.\n\nNow I feel bad that I refused to help. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if your mom has guests over that you are not familiar with and then expects for you to play host(ess?) while she sleeps then she is being selfish. It's not like she's asking you to take out the trash or get her something, it's being the go-to person for an indeterminate amount of time. ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.\n\nMy dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, just dislikes it.\n\nFor the past two months, I have been administrating my dogs drops in the morning. My parents said they'd handle the pills and nightly drops. Two weeks ago I mentioned the pills and found out my dad wasn't giving them to her. I talked to him and so far he's been better.\n\nFor the past two weeks, I've found the drop containers in the same place I leave them every morning. I've told my parents this multiple times and they always have an excuse. Yesterday, I told my mom how annoyed I was and she said she'd set alarms and give drops every night. \n\nThis morning I came downstairs to find the drops where I left them. My mom said \"Hey, how are you?\" And I said \"I'm disappointed that even after our conversation yesterday you still couldn't be bothered to give the dog her drops.\" My mom blew up at me, cited the 'I am the parent and you are the child' and, as always, had numerous issues that prevented her from giving drops yesterday. \n\nShe tried to relate it to me not taking out the garbage. We didn't have a long conversation about the garbage.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if your mom can't take care of a dog you are lucky to be alive. ######"}
{"prompt":" so my younger sister (11) has a habit of stealing from people. if anything goes missing, the chance of you finding it in my sister's room is 80%. i have this red jumper that i love and i didn't get it back from the wash. i knew it had been washed because it saw it on the line outside. i had a hunch it was my sister who had taken it. she went with my mum to walk the dog and while they were gone, i raided her room and found not only my jumper, but an entire box of stuff she had stolen from me including my inhalers which i need for my asthma. i was furious and took a few pictures and took the box back to my room. i'll admit, i was a little sloppy and had left some signs that i had been in there so when my sister came back, she was upset. i told her not to take my stuff again and she began to cry because i had 'invaded her privacy'.\n\nmy mum is on both sides, saying i should have asked her about my jumper (which i do. when things go missing, i ask my sister if she's seen them and she says no) but my stepdad is on my sister's side.\n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, if you're known as a thief, you don't get privacy lol. Your parents should do something about this behaviour now, because she'll end up in jail when she's older. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a tiny hole in my wall right above my bed. My girlfriend (17, im 18) absent-mindedly was scratching it and i jokingly said \"haha don't scratch my wall off\" thinking she'd stop. She didn't. She kept scratching it and i said something like \"im serious please don't break my wall\" as the hole was getting bigger. She kept on doing it though so I was a little upset because like ?? its my wall lol and i directly asked her to stop breaking it. Then she got defensive and completely shut me out and is now sulking on her phone. AITA?\n\nedit: misspelled a word ######","completion":" NTA, if you had only told her jokingly at first then maybe she could have played it off as no big deal. But the fact that you asked her once again in a serious manner and she continued to pick at the wall shows that she realized you wanted her to stop, but continued to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (20F) sister (18F) doesn’t have any kids however we were discussing trans kids and my sister said that if her kid came out to her as trans, she wouldn’t accept them. My sister has not always been the best but recently she gotten worse. Using the word f*ggot, using gay as a synonym for shitty, fake throwing up at gay sex scenes on tv (note: this isn’t a twelve year old being disgusted by any sex scene, she only does this with gay sex scenes). As a bisexual this has been really hard for me to put up with so after she made the trans comment, I turned round and said ‘you shouldn’t have kids then and if she did that, that’s how she would lose her kid’ (as in the kid would stop talking to her once they could). My mum just told us to stop having this conversation. AITA for telling my sister to not have kids? ######","completion":" NTA, if you can’t accept that your future child may not be cis and straight, don’t have kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"Fiancé (24M) and I (24F) recently got engaged. We are in the very early planning stages.\n\nRecently the topic of dress shopping came up. Fiancé asked if his mom would be invited. I said no. I’ve always envisioned it with my mom and maybe an aunt or two, especially the one that is my godmother and has no daughters. Fiancé seemed offended and thinks his mom will be too. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but his mom is pretty blunt and I don’t want any harsh opinions on that day. I don’t want to be one of those brides like on Say Yes to the Dress who brings too many people with her and they all have different opinions and then it’s really hard to get a dress. I don’t even plan on inviting my maid of honor. \n\nEverything else about wedding planning involves making sure everyone else is happy and having fun, as it should be, so  I think this one thing should be special and just for me. I think who I bring should be my choice. \n\nSo AITA?\n\nTLDR: fiancé wants me to invite his mom to go wedding dress shopping. I said no, I’ve always thought it would just be me and my mom and maybe an aunt or two. I think this should be my choice. He’s offended. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if you aren't inviting your maid of honor there is definitely no obligation to invite your MIL. A small group of people you are close to is best and your partner and his mother should respect that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.\n\nSo my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk. \n\nThe problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried \" Love you too, not now Potato\" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.\n\nI always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.\n\nWhen I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day. \n\nI don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if you are on the phone, you should be talking or its a waste of time. Why can't he tell them he needs to take 5 or 10 to talk to you? He knows you have to get up early. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if there were food restrictions for the kids, she should have given you them upfront. ######"}
{"prompt":"I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if there is other ice cream available, why the heck should it matter to your wife? Be real now, kids dont care. They're just happy to get ice cream. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story happened a few months ago but it still bugs me to this day, I need opinions. So I (22M) was taking the subway back home after a long day at work. Its a long ride I get on at the start of the line and off at the end. I found a seat thankfully and decided to get some sleep. About a third of the way in I was awoken by a pregnant lady and her friend asking me to move. There was a seat next to me empty that her friend sat in, and they obviously expected me to give up my seat so they could sit together. I refused saying that her friend can stand so she can take her seat. Obviously this upset them and they started shouting at me saying I was a sexist toxic person. Everyone on the train gave me disgusted looks, I defended myself but everyone seemed to have already taken a stand. Anyway I refused to move, and eventually a seat freed up and the pregnant lady sat down. I got disgusted looks for the whole journey and the friend was still shouting at me. I started to believe I must have misread the situation, the friend of the pregnant women was quite chubby so maybe she was pregnant and it wasn't visible. I asked her \"are you pregnant, in which case I'm sorry\". She went all red and got even more angry saying I was also fat phobic, I was a disgusting person, she got off at the next stop with the pregnant women with her. Turns out she wasn't pregnant. The rest of the ride was interesting and I couldn't sleep after that as people were looking at me like I'd murdered a puppy. I need to clear my mind and see if I was an asshole here, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if the friend was that upset about her pregnant friend sitting down, she should have stood and given the pregnant one the seat, just like you said. If they were both pregnant, or the non pregnant one was disabled or something it would be different. They sound entitled. Forget them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been looking for a home in the place where I grew up for around three years now. We have found a number of goodies and have even put in a few offers, but nothing has stuck.\n\nUntil a few weeks ago, when we found our DREAM HOME (old farmhouse, 15 acres, perfect location, and places for us both to work from - he is a mechanic and I am a photographer). We instantly began dreaming about raising our family there and staying until we are in our late seventies or so. We are both just shy of thirty now.\n\nThe offer and contract process was a bit difficult, we had to jump through lots of hoops financially and had to prove to them - for some reason - that we could afford to service the mortgage we were taking out. We ticked every box and signed the contract last week - hooray! We got our current house up on the market and have spent roughly 5k on repairs here, inspections there, conveyancing, marketing etc. All is going well.\n\nUntil today. We got a call from their agent telling us that they have changed their mind about selling. \n\nWithout going into too many details, their circumstance has changed and they can afford to stay there. \n\nLegally, they have no leg to stand on, we own the house and cooling off is over. \n\nMorally, I’m not sure. They have owned the house for less than a year (I would feel differently if they had owned it for twenty years and it was a family home), and they have said they want their friends and grandchildren to enjoy it and make memories there. We want to raise our children there and create memories of our own.\n\nAre we the assholes if we proceed with the sale, even though they have told us this is their dream home and we would be taking that away from them?\n\nAh. Thanks in advance. ######","completion":" NTA, if the cooling off period is over then it's too late for them to back out of the deal. It's an unfortunate circumstance for them if they find themselves able to afford it now but ultimately it's not your problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened recently. We hired this transgender girl about a month ago, I’m her direct manager so we interact quite a bit.\n\nWe had some more casual conversations the other week, she asked me if she was passing I said a simple “yes”, that wasn’t enough for her unfortunately so she insisted for a more detailed and honest answer, she said be honest I said well if you want honesty then I would say you are not passing at this point she was visibly upset and started asking for more explanation and I told her that this wasn’t a suitable conversation for our fairly new and basic relation, this was a turning point as she raised her voice and demanded me to tell her how Un-passing she was l, so I told her I figured you were trans the moment you set foot here and even before that from your social media that you shared with us. She tried to continue talking about this but I told her to stop having this kind of convo with someone who is supposed her manager and go back to work please.\n\nShe just got up and left, it’s been around 4 days she hasn’t shown to work.\n\nAnd I’m kinda worried I was an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA, if someone specifically asks for honesty, they can't complain when they get honesty. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me (M27) and my family live in a townhouse of mostly white neighborhood (important later). The townhouses are sharing a strip of \"frontyard\" that we must maintain and we try our best to keep up, we planted flowers, we mow our lawn, etc. However, our neighbor that we share the said strip is always commenting and always telling us that we are not doing it properly, that we are ruining the front yard, and there are times where we caught them doing our lawn. And then one time, our neighbor knocked on our door and told us that we have to pay them for the lawn maintenance and we refused because we did not ask for it and it is not like we are not maintaining it. It's just that we are not doing it the way they like it. Also, we heard them referring to us as the \"Asians\" and call our other neighbors \"neighbor\". They called the firefighters one time because we are having a bon fire in our backyard, and firefighters said that we are following everything. They had a problem with us sun-drying our clothes even though we don't have any clothes line attached to our nor their fence. The last straw for me was when she talked to me as they were bothered by the fact that I have to leave every 10 pm to go work (I'm a nurse). My car is a Honda Civic with no modifications at all so it's not loud, and I don't play loud music at all. I started going off on her as my parents are too nice and have told her to mind her own business, stop being an asshole and we are done being a pushover She was shocked and in disbelief, she smelt like alcohol so I did not bother going further but she has not bothered us for weeks. My siblings are saying that IATA because she is an old lady (possibly on her early 50s) and she was clearly drunk. However, my parents are glad that someone had said something. \n\n\nDid I overreact? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if she's going to be dishing out these nasty remarks she's going to have to learn to take them. Besides, 50 ain't old, she is fully aware of how horrible she is being ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and even her friends would make a big deal when we started dating that i never posted pictures of her as i don’t use social media often, and she would ask constantly why i never wanted to post any. I post pictures of her frequently now, post her on Snapchat stories every week, and she is in my profile picture for most social media’s. \n\nNow it’s been almost a year and she still has no pictures of me on any platform online and there’s little trace of me existing in her life online (even though we live together). I even asked her about it since she made such a big fuss that i post about her. \n\nI’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being upset that after this long there’s still no pictures of us together on her social media, especially since guys message and try to flirt with her all the time, even people who used to be my friends in highschool. ######","completion":" NTA, if she was upset when this situation was flipped, you have every right to be upset and want the same thing here. If it was important to her that you post pictures of her, she should understand easily why you’d want pictures of you posted by her as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus. \n\nI said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish. \n\nI think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me. \n\nI feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA, if she wants it so much she should offer to buy it off of you. Funny how \"you care about money more than me\" always means \"give me stuff I don't need for free.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL has never liked me. She had always tried to one up me. We were both pregnant at the same time. Her due date was 6 days after mine but her girl came early so she gave birth roughly 2 weeks before me. We had already announced our name because MIL wanted to make a blanket with baby's name in it.\n\nSIL said their name was a secret. Well turns out they named their daughter the name we chose and announced. She thought she had won and I decided it wasn't worth arguing with her. I gave birth and we simply went ahead with our name choice. It's a generic name like Sara or Anna but it's was also my mum's name which is why we chose it. So technically SIL could have planned for this name all along but I doubt it.\n\nWell, she's not happy at all that the two cousins now share a name. I told her tough luck and why did she think we'd change our name? ######","completion":" Nta, if she really cared that much, she shouldn’t have named her kid that name. We have four Katies in my family. My sister is Kaitie (actually Kaitlin but we always have called her Katie), my step dads little sister is Katie, my step brothers wife is Katie, and my uncles gf is Katie. If we can manage all four Katie’s without anyone getting pissy, she can get over it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know how I’m the asshole. But, hey. \n \nMy fiancée and I had a small fight. I wanted her to sleep earlier because she usually sleeps at 3. I wanted that because I really want to cuddle with her when I sleep.\n \nI’m not really religious or superstitious, but she wanted us to go to this Chinese restaurant that has pretty weird and “true” fortunes. She begged me to go just for the fortunes, and we went today. When she read her fortune, I just laughed. It just said “Lose your next argument, and then you shall be more free”. I mean, it’s pretty funny and ironic.\n \nShe got mad at me laughing somehow. That I was being demeaning to her. Idk\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if she really believed in that, she should accepted it. That was ironic and hilarious. But they are bs anyways. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL has never liked me. She had always tried to one up me. We were both pregnant at the same time. Her due date was 6 days after mine but her girl came early so she gave birth roughly 2 weeks before me. We had already announced our name because MIL wanted to make a blanket with baby's name in it.\n\nSIL said their name was a secret. Well turns out they named their daughter the name we chose and announced. She thought she had won and I decided it wasn't worth arguing with her. I gave birth and we simply went ahead with our name choice. It's a generic name like Sara or Anna but it's was also my mum's name which is why we chose it. So technically SIL could have planned for this name all along but I doubt it.\n\nWell, she's not happy at all that the two cousins now share a name. I told her tough luck and why did she think we'd change our name? ######","completion":" NTA, if she knew you had already announced it but still kept it a secret and then went through with the name anyways then she’s the asshole. \n\nAlso, I have a brother named Mike, uncle named Mike, and cousin named Mike and no one cares. (The uncle is my mom’s brother and the cousin is his kid named after himself. My mom claims my brother Mike was just because they like the name and not named after the uncle) ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F 20) just moved in with my boyfriend due to some unstable conditions at home about a month ago. Due to Quarantine, I do my 9-6 job from home. My boyfriend (22) is unemployed and finishing his degree from home. Now when he has class, I do not bother him in the slightest. I stay quiet and respect him. I work so I can support him until he can get a stable job. Recently he’s been done his school work around 12 and has nothing to do so he plays video games until I get off work at 6. I have to work in the same room as him due to the house set up and where my desk is. There is no way around this. I would not care if he was playing video games if he wasn’t screaming and taking to his friends loudly during the game play. I make a lot of phone calls to important clients and I cannot trust him to stay quiet and keep a professional environment in the background. I have asked him multiple times to stay quiet and he just does not. I asked him to do anything besides play video games, like even watch a show or get some house\/yard work done. He refuses to and says he should be able to spend his time how he wants. He acts like a child. WIBTA if I put my foot down and demand respect? ######","completion":" NTA, if he was playing quietly with headphones on that would be fine, bit if he's being loud and stopping you from working then it's not acceptable. If it his flat or do you have it between you? Could he play games on another room as a compromise? ######"}
{"prompt":"so I rewrote this because the original was hard to understand warning (I’m bad at typing) I been saving up money to get a PS4.i can’t work because of everything going on.i almost have enough to buy the PS4 and my uncle said he would cover the rest(about 80$)my bf is staying with me to use my internet to do online school until school is open again or until school ends.he thinks I should let him take the PS4 that I want to buy to his house.i live with my uncle (I might make post why later)my brother has a PS4 to but he works all day and when he gets home he plays on his PS4.My brother doesn’t like anyone in his room when he’s gone.My boyfriend is worried that people will come into my room all the time or try and take it if I buy it and keep it at my house.he said I could just play it at his house when I go over there.his house is in the other side of town and I hardly go over to his house he comes to mine more.he said that his brothers are bored and they could play on it.i love to game and I been wanting to get a PS4.he thinks I won’t use it because I would just be on Hulu all day.he got upset because I told him it didn’t make since for me to buy it and for him to keep it at his house.i thinking of not buying one now I was going to go tomorrow when my uncle was off to get one.AITA ######","completion":" NTA, if he wants a PS4 at his house so badly, he can buy his own. He's being incredibly selfish. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) were in the middle of foreplay when I pulled back his for skin and saw it was a little bit ( just a little bit ) gross. I asked him if he could clean it before we went any further and he responded by saying “can we not just have sex then go shower?” To which I said that’s unsanitary and I didn’t want to. He then threw a hissy, stated the mood was gone because of me and he didn’t want to have sex anymore. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if he got dick cheese I’m not getting anywhere near him, that shit is gross and tell him he should clean it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok let me elaborate. We had a baby recently and my boyfriend has an older son who has high functioning autism. Things in the household have been tense due to space being cramped and of course adjusting to a new baby. \n\nOne night, my boyfriend's son kept turning on the kitchen light while I was trying to keep the baby down because it was the middle of the night and I was sleeping in the living room. I thought he was done in the kitchen so I turned off the light. He wasn't done and got an attitude with me. I told him I was sorry, I thought he was done. He then made the comment \"you and dad don't deserve that baby.\" \n\nI don't believe in violence and I certainly don't condone child abuse but I had to resist the urge to smack that boy in the mouth. I told my boyfriend to talk to his son and he yelled at me not to tell him how to raise his child. I told him I wasn't trying to do that but that I shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of disrespect. He later told me to just ignore his son and while I see his point I still think he needs to tell his son not to talk to me that way.\n\nI have the right to be a mother to my child in a non hostile environment. On top of this, his family save for his mom has done nothing but judge and criticize me while I'm learning to be a mom. I have PPD but I'm sure it was made worse by all this. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if he doesn't want to be told how to parent his kid then he should do a good job of it in the first place. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story starts around February 2020,\nSo class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.”\n\nLater that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.”\n\nI was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff.\n\nLater that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened.\n\nI got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if he didn't want people to think he's a dick then he shouldn't have been a dick ######"}
{"prompt":"I grew up with an air hockey table. My parents got it for my older sister when I was 5 years old. So, I grew up playing the game. Naturally, I'm pretty decent at it and I absolutely love to play\n\nMy husband and I were at the boardwalk when we noticed a air hockey table. Of course I dragged him over so we can play.\n\nHe immediately started smack talking me. He used to play in high school, he always won in high school, he was the best player of his group, it wasn't Blah fair because he'd dominate me....BLAH BLAH \n\nCHALLENGE ACCEPTED \n\nSo, I let him win the first game. It was best out of 10 oh, so the first game didn't cost me anything and it allowed me to learn his play style\n\nHe didn't win another game oh, he didn't score another Point either\n\nHe was so upset. He says it's unfair but I didn't tell him that I was so good at it oh, he says it was unfair that I let him win so easily the first game. He still says that I cheated and rigged the table somehow. And 5 years later he still refuses to play air hockey with me\n\nThough he did watch and laugh as I demolished his baby brother ######","completion":" NTA, if he can't get through a game losing air hockey to his woman how the hell is he gonna deal with life? ######"}
{"prompt":"During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.\n\nBut then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.\n\nSo now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, if anything they should've interpreted it as you possibly being Bi or Pan, not a lesbian. Talk about jumping to conclusions. It doesn't sound like you handled the situation badly or anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"Im on mobile.\n\nMe(F15)\nMom(F36)- “Mom”\nStepdad(M34)- SD\n\n So i’m visiting my mom this week (my dad has full custody and i just visit my mom sometimes) and it’s that time of the month. I’ll try not to go into too many details but basically yeah i dispose of everything the way it needs to be disposed so i didn’t think there would be a problem.\n\nMy mom came up to me last night and said i made my stepdad “uncomfortable” for “making him look at my feminine products”. i instantly got embarrassed and told her i’ve always made sure i disposed of everything properly. Then she says, “oh no, not the thing itself but the wrapper” Which confused because like, it’s a wrapper? I’m a 15 year old girl, sorry i have a period? \n\nShe asked if i could start throwing it away in the garage trash so he wouldn’t have to see it in the bathroom trash. we have 3 BATHROOMS. One in their room, one in the hall upstairs, and one in the hall downstairs, i always use the one downstairs because my room is in the basement. If he doesn’t want to see it he can use one of the two other bathrooms. I told her i wasn’t gonna stuff my trash in my pocket and walk to the garage just because he can’t handle looking at a wrapper. She claims i’m being ridiculous and stubborn and that he shouldn’t have to walk upstairs anytime he’s in the living room just because i won’t throw my trash in a different place. I told her he can get over it.\n\nAITA?\n\nTL;DR: my stepdad is apparently uncomfortable with my feminine product wrapper and refuses to use one of the other two bathrooms we have so my mom is forcing me to throw my trash in the garage. ######","completion":" NTA, if a grown man is grossed out by a wrapper, that’s his problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright for some background, I’m currently in high school (ik, my issue can’t be to significant because of my young age). Also, I workout nearly 3 hours a day in hopes of playing college football eventually. This of course has made me significantly larger than a lot of other individuals my age. \n\nOk, to the story. So due to the quarantine, I have been going on runs around my neighborhood. I enjoy running shirtless due to the Florida heat. On my route, I’ll usually pass a woman who sits on her porch, and occasionally her son playing basketball in the driveway. Yesterday, the lady flagged me down, so I stopped and looked at her. Before any kind of civil greeting, this lady starts lecturing me on decency and how it makes her son self conscious (he is at least 3 years younger btw). I told her sorry he felt that way, but it was to hot to run with my shirt on, and I started up on my route again. When I looped back around, she ran out in front of me trying to make me stop again. I just ran around her.\n\nWhen I got home and told my mother, she said the lady was out of line, but did have a point. I was surprised she had never even batted an eye to the notion before, but made me think maybe I was in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA, id do it if my nipples weren’t seen as indecent. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday was my \\[24f\\] birthday.  My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)\n\nBirthdays have never been big in my family.  I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside.  So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead.  Neither of my parents said anything.  I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.\n\nMy mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family.  She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today.  Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed.  I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with.  It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received.  That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday.  So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him.  And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA, i’ve spent all my birthdays with my friends since i was 12, and they have no *right* to be in those birthday. It’s your day after all. Besides, if t\nthey really wanted to spend it with you, why didn’t they just arrange another one? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, Reddit.  My name is Taylor, and I'm trans (FtM).  I started transitioning about a year and a half ago and things are gong swimmingly.\n\nWhat isn't going so swimmingly is the ongoing debate over my name.  My friends are giving me shit for keeping my \"dead name\".  Some of them are trans and some of them are not.  Their biggest argument for me changing it is that since all of me is going to change to reflect who I am, then that should also include my name.\n\nBut here's the thing.  I actually like my name.  Yes, I know Taylor is unisex and is more associated with girls than guys.  But there are dudes named Taylor and that's totally cool.  And I don't see the point in changing my name.  I always saw myself as a Taylor.  I'm now embracing my real me.  And no matter what happens to me, I am still going to be Taylor.  He has a new form, but he's still the same lovable goof my family and friends love having around.  \n\nAnd I did experiment with names, but none of them stuck.  I guess that I just love being a Taylor too much to change my name to something else.    \n\nBut some of my friends think I am an asshole for wanting to go by my dead name.  Like it will invalidate my transition.  But I should be allowed to keep my name is I still love it, right? ######","completion":" NTA, i’m trans myself and can’t imagine ever being such a shitbag to my friend if they preferred to keep their birth name. they should know better than anyone not to gatekeep. do whatever is best for *you*, it’s your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"im a 14 year old high school freshman and my mom and i were just having a conversation like normal, but then she asked me whether or not i’d let her live with me when i was an adult and got married. i answered no because if i were to be married, the only people i’d want to live with are my wife and my kids (if i had any), and it’s likely that my would-be-wife would agree with me.\n\nbut my mom then got upset and kept accusing me of not wanting to care for her when she grew old but i explained that i wouldn’t want to live with her but i would still take care of her. she continued and compared me to my older sister, who said that she’d be fine with letting my mom live with her and her husband.\n\ni don’t think i’m an ass but she’s really upset at that and there’s this weird tension between us now ######","completion":" NTA, I’m in the same boat. My mom wants to move in with me and my future kids, I’m like no. I might not even be having kids and she’s like “but graaaaannnnnndddddbbbbaaaaaabbbbbiiiieesss” ######"}
{"prompt":"Small dilemma but would like to know if I’ve been TA after all these years. \n\nSo I’m a woman who hates carrying purses or large wallets but I still live in a city where cash is used frequently. Since I rarely have functioning pockets I resort to avoiding loose change whenever possible. \n\nFor example, if my tab is $14.55 and I don’t have exact change, I’ll sometimes give cashiers $20.55 or $20.60 so I’d get full bills back and minimal coins if possible. I also get to use most of my existing coins. I honestly thought most people did this. \n\nAnyways my friend was out with me recently and saw me pay with this kind of sum. The trainee cashier was slightly confused this time and kept trying to give back my coins while keeping the larger bill. I explained and he quickly got it. \n\nAfterwards my friend asks me why I did that. She got annoyed and said that I’ve been a dick to inconvenience so many cashiers with unnecessary “math problems”. She also accused me of not being empathetic towards people who can’t do mental math well. \n\nI felt kinda bad but I honestly didn’t think it was that big of a deal. She kept saying that I was intentionally making their days harder by giving them such weird sums. Honestly I didn’t think it made that much of a difference and most cashiers have given me correct change no problem. But I could be missing a lot... AITA?\n\nEdit: just adding that this was at a cheap food cart without a real register, so it was just a box of cash\/coins and a few people manning the shop. Not sure if that changes anything though. ######","completion":" NTA, I’m a cashier- all I have to do it type in the money you give me and it’ll tell me how much I owe you. It’s not an inconvenience whatsoever lol ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend has a female friend that I have never met for a series of real reasons and some of my own excuses. He is getting exasperated with me but I'm not sure how to tell him the truth as to why I don't want to meet  or whether I should just suck it up and give in.\n\nThe main issue I have is that she is a cocaine user who has children. The coke isn't the issue, I have used it socially in the past and have friends who still use sometimes. My issue is she is a single mother who uses several times a week in the house where her children are. She's either alone or with others also on coke. Basically no unintoxicated adults if anything happened. Sometimes there will be 8 or more coked up adults downstairs.  And she has an attitude of 'it's fine, kids are upstairs' etc. And because she's a single mum most of the times she suggests meeting require us going to her house, where there's a 50\/50;chance drugs will be happening. It would feel strangely like enabling some thing I strongly disagree with just to be in the vicinity. Apart from that I don't really know how to go about meeting someone, where there is a pressure to get on all friendly, when I have so little respect for their actions.  \n\nAm I being stuck up and judgemental? I'm concerned that's how I am going to come across if I tell my boyfriend the truth as he seems nonplussed about the whole situation. ######","completion":" NTA, I’d be calling CPS tbh but I’m just one who does not tolerate drug use while there is children in the house. I’d just be honest with him because let’s just say you’re over there and the cops for some reason get called then you and your boyfriend take the chance of being charged with drug possession and endangering the welfare of a child. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sooooo yeah. My boyfriend and I have talked about him making my engagement ring before and I would honestly love a custom ring but the issue is..\n\nMy partner has never made any type of jewelry before. He has never worked with metal at all. He's an appliance repair tech so he knows how to work with machinery, and he's a fast learner so he seems to think that he can make me a perfect ring in a few months with no help, only YouTube videos. \n\nWhen I told him I was concerned because my engagement ring is something that's important to me and I only get one, and i'll feel really bad if for some reason I don't like the ring. It's not like I can return it or tell him I think his handiwork is bad. \n\nI tied to explain to him that I wouldn't have my grandma or my mom make my wedding dress even though they're both INCREDIBLE seamstresses who've had years of practice. I don't want to feel bad if I want changes or something different. \n\nEvery time I try to tell him I have anxiety about it he tells me he doesn't want to talk about it because I don't have any faith in him. But that's the thing..\n\nI have no faith in him because he's NEVER MADE JEWELRY BEFORE. \n\nAm I the asshole?!?!? ######","completion":" NTA, I've taken a few metals classes at my university and metalsmithing\/jewlery making IS HARD. it doesnt matter how fast of a learner you are, silver and gold are not forgiving materials and even with proper studio equipment and a professor guiding me every step of the way, mistakes were made that cost me hundreds of dollars. And I can tell you first hand that no amount of youtube videos can properly teach anyone how to work with metals in any high quality jewlery making capacity. I can understand him wanting to make it for some extra sentimental value or whatever, but he is not the one who has to wear it every day. An engagement ring is a big deal, and as such it deserves the proper amount of respect, made high quality materials and crafted by a jeweler who knows how to make a ring that will last for generations to come. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing .  \nSo suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it . \nI was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up . \nThe fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help . \n\n\nSo reddit AITA ??? \n\nSorry for the grammar mistakes ######","completion":" NTA, I've seen plenty of parents like this where they don't believe their kid but will believe xyz aunty. it's annoying and frustrating. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school.  I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, I'm not sure what response he expected if you've told him multiple times you don't like the idea of marriage ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. \n\nI'm getting married early next year. I've already chosen my bridesmaids who I love immensely and all of them excitedly agreed. A couple days ago, I called one of my bridesmaids to chat about the planning and I told her I'd chosen a color for the dress. She asked about the shoes and I said I didn't care if they wore heels or flats, I just preferred that they were beige to look uniform in the pictures. She was instantly upset. At first I thought she just didn't like that idea but she followed it up with the statement that \"black people don't wear beige.\" I was instantly confused. I've never heard that before.   \n\n\nI asked why not and what was wrong with beige and she responded  \"well obviously that's not 'skin tone' for ME.\" I tried explaining that I wasn't trying to match skin tone, I really just thought it looked nice with the dress. None of us (in the bridal party) have the same skin tone so I didn't even consider it \"matching\" anyone. When I explained that, she remained unconvinced. She also knows the other members so I pointed out that it wasn't their skin tones either but she insisted I didn't understand and was singling her out. We haven't spoken since. \n\nSo WITA (Was I The Asshole) for suggesting beige shoes for my bridesmaids. If I am out of touch, I apologize. I wasn't intending to offend. Because my bridesmaids have different skin tones, body types, heights and hair colors\/textures, I am trying to find a balance between being flexible enough that they feel comfortable and having them look like they are all part of the bridal party by looking somewhat uniform. I actually wasn't married to beige and honestly don't really care if they wear different color shoes, but now I'm just confused and I want to know if I messed up. Either way, I'm going to reach out to talk to her about it and (regardless of my ruling) apologize - at least for making her feel singled out. ######","completion":" NTA, I'm black, I own beige heels (more than one pair). She might be mistaking beige for nude. If that's not the case, then she's either looking for an excuse to bow out of the commitment, or she's insane. In either event, this situation isn't singling her out in any way, and you were neither being an asshole or racist (unintentional or otherwise). ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, i went to walk my dog and one of my neighbors, who i’m friendly enough with but definitely not friends with, was outside with her two small children. I’m not sure of their ages but I think they’re about 5 and 7. I asked her how everything was going for them. She said that it was fine but that her kids were going a bit stir crazy. \n\nI offered to give them a little kiddie pool (the plastic kind you can buy for like $15 at Walmart) that I had in my shed. My husband and I bought it when my dog was a puppy but now he is too big to use it. I even said that I would clean it for her because i’m sure it’s a bit dusty from just being in the shed. She laughed and said no thanks and that she never wanted a pool in her yard because it is “trashy.” I was a little taken aback but i just basically said ok. \n\nHer boy heard and was like “Anna (not my real name) has a pool? Can we get it, mom? Pleaseeee?” My neighbor then said that she wanted the pool. I told her no and that I would keep my trashy pool in my trashy yard. I was definitely annoyed at this point. The boy and girl then started to ask me for the pool and I said that if their mom wanted to get them a pool, she could do it herself. My neighbor gave me a dirty look and then i went back to my house.\n\nI told my husband what happened and he was upset with me. He said that she shouldn’t have called it trashy but that he didn’t understand why i was punishing the kids for something the mom did and that the fact that I could tell a kid “no” for something I could easily do was “cold” of me. He’s now worried about how i’ll treat our future children! I think this is an absolutely insane overreaction. I just didn’t feel like doing anything for someone who called something I own trashy. In my opinion, it’s not a big deal at all so i’m really confused here. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA, I would stand your ground unless you get an apology. She can apologise, spend $15, or continue listening to her kids wishing they had a pool. \nSounds like if you did offer it to the kids without her involvement, she would not let them have it anyway. ######"}
{"prompt":"So when my wife and I got married I was probably 40 pounds overweight. I gained weight for a couple years until I finally got sick of being a fatass and started exercising and dieting. Since then I’ve lost 50 pounds, and I’d say I’m within a healthy weight range now.\n\nWhen I first married my wife I would say looks wise I was out of her league. I think she’s very pretty and I was definitely not good looking. I’d say now we’re more equal as physical attractiveness goes, not to be a brag.\n\nAnyway I was talking to a friend about how I’d finally lost weight and it felt good, he congratulated me then said that I should upgrade my wife. I figured it was a joke and chuckled a little but he kept going with it, said that we’ve only been married a few years(4, not nothing) and that I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone “ugly” that I married because I was fat.\n\nI said yes, I do in fact want to spend the rest of my life with someone I married, that tends to be how it works, and that I’m not a piece of shit so I’m not going to upgrade my wife.\n\nHe got a divorce a few years ago and talked a bit about how good it felt to be out there again, but never really said it was because he thought she was ugly.\n\nHe got pissed and said that he divorced his wife for looks and he isn’t a piece of shit, at which point I said that I disagreed, and he hung up. He messaged me later that we exchanged some “harsh words” and should just move past it, but then followed it up with he wants an apology.\n\nI don’t know what the fucks wrong with him, but a mutual friend also messaged me that calling him a piece of shit wasn’t “cool”. I don’t know I’m pissed off right now so it’s hard to tell if I went too far.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I would recommend you 'upgrade' your friend ######"}
{"prompt":"I have exotic pets, large reptiles and small mammals.\n\nHis kids come over and start going in cages and leaving them unlocked and giving me a heartattack trying to find my pets they released (surprisingly none have killed each other yet) \n\nI told him he needs to leep a better eye on them or Im going to ban them from my house.\n\nToday they caused my tegu to drop his tail (which is extremely hard to do they don’t drop it as easily as your random house gecko it takes a lot of trauma) \n\nSo I kicked them and my brother out and said they aren’t welcome back until they learn to respect me and my animals.\n\nMy mom called me and said Im being a massive prick it’s “just a lizard” \n\nFirst off I’m expecting around a $600 vet bill from this as I have to get him x-rayed to make sure it dropped in a way that didn’t harm him and if you know anything about tegus you know they have the intellect of a 3-5 year old child.\n\nSecond this isn’t the first time they were warned.\n\nThird my brother told me to just buy locks for my cages, It’s not my responsibility to pay to have my cages locked and i don’t want the additional hassle of having to lock and unlock cages twice a day (some cages don’t even have a way to install a lock) \n\n\nMe-23M brother 32M his kids 10F and 8M \n\nAITA\n\nTLDR: brothers kids don’t respect my animals so i kicked them out ######","completion":" NTA, I used to volunteer at a zoo and it took roughly 5 minutes (or less) to teach a room of 20 5 year olds how to respect and be gentle with the animals. They're perfectly capable of being careful, they just realize that there will be zero consequences no matter what they do. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my baby bro(15) recently told me that he wants to come out to the parents and I immediately shut him down for it. Our neighborhood and family is strictly conservative and I know for a fact that his ass is getting disowned and kicked out if he does. Our country's childcare system is so messed up that it would be safer for someone to stay with their abusive parents than to be handed over to the state and I just barely started University so there's no way I can financially support him by myself. I know it must be hard for him to keep it to himself and a few close people but I just can't let him come out to my parents while still being so heavily dependent on them. Advice on any other way that I could handle this (if there is)would be much appreciated. ######","completion":" NTA, I totally understand your concern. You really just want the best for him and I agree with you that right now that’s the best course of action. I have a little brother too so I feel you hard on this one. \n\nIf I were you, I’d try to open on the subject yourself if you ever have some alone time with your parents. Just to talk to them about modern day issues and see where they stand. Hopefully you can talk to them and almost convince them in a way that will help them be a little open minded. \n\nI hope it makes sense, wishing the best for you all 💖 ######"}
{"prompt":"Since it's usually just the two of us, my daughter and I are really comfortable at home when iy comes to what we wear or rather what we don't wear. All this was fine because, again, it was just the two of us. When my boyfriend comes around to spend the night or the weekend, we'd dress more 'appropriately' for the duration of his stay and then go back to our normal when he's gone.\n\nWith everything that's been happening, I wanted my boyfriend to stay with us because we don't know when it will end. Before inviting him over, I asked my daughter how she felt about that and clarified that this would be indefinite. She said she was cool with it and I invited him. The first week went well and she wore other comfort clothes. Then things completely changed within a day.\n\nThe first incident, my boyfriend and I were in the kitchen making breakfast and she came in wearing just underwear and a towel on her head (just came out of the shower). Breasts completely bare and she didn't even care to try cover them up. Instead she just walked in, greeted us casually, grabbed herself a glass of water then left. My boyfriend didn't say a word and I could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with this so I tried talking to my daughter about but her response was that she wasn't naked.\n\nNow she's been wearing short shorts around the house with just a bra (sometimes) etc. My boyfriend says it doesn't matter anymore because he's used to it now but I don't want him to be used to seeing my daughter like that. It's inappropriate. So I confronted her about this and told her to dress better in his presence but she bit me off about how I should be happy she's that comfortable around him and with her body. We're now constantly arguing over this and I'm wondering if I'm TA ######","completion":" NTA, I think. This is a bit weird. You're right to ask her not to walk around your boyfriend topless as it's your house and you've established what is OK and what isn't - you agreed before he moved in.\n\nI can't help wondering what your daughter's motive is. Maybe just stuck in her ways? At 19, it's possible\/plausible that she might be getting a bit of a thrill from it - an older man seeing her like that, or is that too weird? I'm no psychologist so I may be totally barking up the wrong tree. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have both BRCA alleles (was tested by a genetic counsellor several years ago) meaning I will most likely die of breast or ovarian cancer by age 60. I have dealt with many surgeries as well as radio therapy throughout my life relating to this; I am currently dealing with cervical dysplasia (pre-cancerous growths in 2\/3 of my cervix.)\n\nMy best friend recently started dating a man who lied about having testicular cancer. Shortly after saying this and meeting me, as I offered to take him to a support group session, he admitted to lying about having cancer and only wanted the attention. He laughed it off as if it were a joke and never apologized. I never saw him again. The fact she is with someone like this makes me sick. \n\nSo today I called her not knowing she was with him, and when she picked up and I saw  were together, something came over me and I asked “hey ____, why are you so sick in the head that you lied about having cancer? I want you to know you are the absolute scum of the earth and there’s a special spot waiting in hell for you” then hung up.\n\nSo.... am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, I think you kick ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.\n\nShe always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.\n\nI tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I \"have to do it\", because it's \"part of a routine\". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.\n\nAm I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######","completion":" NTA, I think she’s just lazy as hell. If you stop helping her with minor things like that, eventually she’ll have to do them herself and she’ll eventually get used to it. \n\nDon’t put up with that shit. I have a brother with a similar age difference and he’s stopped bothering me after not doing any shit for him like that ######"}
{"prompt":"My goal is to be debt free as soon as possible so I can save for retirement. I want to pay down debt. I’m 40f and my wife who is also 40 wants to send her kids\/my step kids to pretty expensive summer camps. We get absolutely no help from the kids father. I do pay for some stuff for the kids but I really don’t feel like I’m obligated to bend over backwards spending money on them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I think it's good that you want to be debt-free. Also with covid-19 I really don't think anyone should be going to summer camp ######"}
{"prompt":"My (32m) sister (45f) sister has always been there for me. Because we have such an age difference, she has been my second mother. Our mother is still alive but she dumped my onto my sister to take care of me. With her love and support, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot. We are super close and I consider her my best friend. I have always sent her a mother days gift\nAnd flowers because I always want to remind her how much she means to me and, I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. She didn’t have to raise me but she did and I love her very much. My wife thinks it’s super weird and and gross. She says that I shouldn’t be equating my sister to my mother and that I have mommy issues because of this. She says that my sister should stay my sister and, because she has her own kids, I shouldn’t be giving her anything. I explained that she didn’t grow up as I did ( she and her siblings are close but not as close as my sister and I). I also told her that it’s none of her business if I send my sister a Mother’s Day gift because it’s my gesture. She got upset and is not talking to me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I think it is lovely. Your sister did so much for you going up and you show her you are gratefull. Simply lovely. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello Reddit!\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nTL;DR in the title I guess as it is an age old question. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy gf and I went out for dinner with a couple of her friends, and their SO's. Right before dinner we had a drink with one of the couples and \"going Dutch\" happened to come up in the conversation and was agreed upon to be a good method to always split the bill. (And they have done this in the past as well)\n\nAs we sat down for dinner we ordered modestly, no big ass steaks and no expensive bottles of wine, but the other two couples went more to the \"treat yo'self\" way of ordering. This led to quite a blown up bill that was not balanced between the couples. \n\nOne of the SO's of the other couples picked up the tab and told the rest it would be sorted out via a payment request through whatsapp afterwards. Fine by us, that's just about a cultural tradition here. \n\nWe got the request and it was probably 50% higher than it should've been for us, so we did some calculating and asked \"what gives\". Turns out they decided to split the bill evenly after all, and left the original bill in the restaurant so no piece of paper to properly determine who had what. \n\nHere's the, wel not really, million dollar question. AITA for going against this way of deciding who pays what and put my foot down to a guestimate of what we had?\n\nTheir counter-argument was that it was awkward to have to send the rest another request to pay more and that we should not make a big deal out of this. ######","completion":" NTA, I suspect “splitting the bill equally” is often a cover for people who want to order pricier options ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: I passed my driving test in April last year and ever since then have been parking my car in the allocated parking space outside the house. (The house does not have a driveway).\n\nUp until the last month or so, I have had no problems with parking my car here. Since the lockdown my neighbours parents have been visiting virtually everyday, this is not my problem. My problem is that they insist on parking in my space if I’m not home when they arrive. My neighbours have a car, meaning their parents cannot park in their space... there is, however, visitors parking opposite our houses.\n\nSo the way I may have been TA is because I got home around 9pm after a long hard day and couldn’t park my car because, you guessed it, the neighbours parents were in my space. Not knowing what else to do, and being fed up because this is happening virtually every day now, I parked directly behind their car blocking their exit, but other neighbours could still get out. I feel the need to note that had they come and ask, I had every intention of moving my car, I just wanted to show them how annoying it is seeing as asking them politely clearly hasn’t worked. Anyways, fastforward a few hours and I was exhausted (the neighbours parents still hadn’t left but I wanted to go to bed) so I moved my car on to the visitors parking and as I was walking back to the house I heard a voice say “finally, I can go home now she’s moved the car”.\n\nSo, AITA for wanting them to knock on my door and ask me to move my car to show them it’s annoying not being able to park\/ pull away easily?\n\nEdit: can I please just point out that 1) they are designated spaces in each houses tenancy agreements and 2) the tenancy agreement also states that our visitors must park in the visitors parking spaces. ######","completion":" NTA, I saw in a comment that you have talked to them to no avail, so moving on into petty revenge territory is very much earned. If they keep it up maybe try finding a traffic cone and sticking it in your spot, maybe with the unit number on it? Not that I'm advocating pissing these assholes off further (except I totally am, please continue fucking with them). ######"}
{"prompt":"It was around 1 PM in the afternoon. Wife accidentally called her male college friend when trying to hook her phone up to the charger. We started discussing the prospect of having an afternoon quickie, then I went to wash up quickly before coming back. \n\nTwenty minutes later we finished and found that her friend had hung up the phone right when we were done. He was listening the entire time even during our discussion. \n\nI called him and yelled at him for claiming to be such a devout and religious man then violating our privacy when the call clearly was an accident. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I really don't understand how he thought he could get away with that. Isn't it just common decency to hang up a mistaken call? Plus he waited after you discussed it knowing it would happen? What a pervert. Definitely not the asshole here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was born in a developing country. My parents immigrated when I was young. We were dirt poor when we moved. And I used to have nightmares about my childhood there, because we were constantly living in fear of violence. My parents made it big in our adopted country, moved back to Asia, and bought a nice home in a gated community. They now consider themselves patriots, and are constantly singing praises of the country they fled from.\n\nI on the other hand, worked very hard to ensure I never have to move back. I became financially independent from my parents, and remigrated to Europe.\n\nI have been pretty outspoken about my experiences, and regularly criticize my birth country for basically robbing me of my childhood. My parents don’t see it that way. They want me to move back because they feel I “belong” there. And we’ve had many arguments over this. They worry about my social media postings, because it may hurt their businesses, or I may end up in jail next time I visit.\n\nTruth is, I still don’t feel safe whenever I visit them. The police there is still very corrupt. Healthcare standard is very low. And hate crime is still rampant. So one time when my parents tried to silence me, saying “don’t you worry you may be banned from out country if we keep posting stuff like this?”\n\nAnd I just blurted out, “it’s not my country anymore; and TBH I’d rather you come to visit me in the future because I REALLY don’t want to go there.”\n\nMy mother started crying and hung up on me. I got a msg from my dad demanding that I apologize, and visit them the next chance I get. \n\nI should also mention that they constantly worry that if I don’t go back, their estate will be taken by the government. But I honestly don’t care about that.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I mean, your birth  country is really bad if you can get banned for fb posts ######"}
{"prompt":"My best friend (let's call her Apple) is black, and I am white. In the area we live, we both are considered a minority of the population so theres not many people around for her to learn from to do her hair. Apple is in a smaller minority than I am, so I want to try and help her out a bit by helping her learn to do her hair because her mother doesn't know how to do it either. \n\nNow, I have another black friend (we'll call her Blue), I asked her about it because she always shows up with cute hairstyles and knows her way around hair. I asked her if she could teach me to do hair like that and Blue called me racially insensitive.\n\nAITA for wanting to learn how to do Apple's hair? ######","completion":" NTA, i have no clue how to do my natural hair, since my mum is white. I would kill to have a friend help me !! ######"}
{"prompt":"We have a discord server with about 20 people. It's a collection of people we found from games or friends of friends. In the general chat we usually just chill and have light hearted conversations with each other. It's just a place to relax and talk.\n\nAnyways along with the story, I'm 17(M) and there's this person named C(17f) I've never really got along with her due to her personality being rather gloomy and she kind of tries to make her depression (her claims) as a personality. The general male to female ratio is about 3:1. Whenever we are having any form of conversation she deters whatever we were talking about to change it to herself. For instance, I may say \"Ark is becoming really fun to play\". To which she replies \"Well at least you're happy I've been depressed all week\". Right after we'd spend the next 5minutes of people consoling her. This has happened so many times to count about 8 times a day roughly.\n\nWell yesterday, like usual we would be making conversation and with another female let's call H we're talking about invading enemy team and planning how we're going to attack and what we're taking. C then starts saying \"This is why all men suck always trying to take from people\". I reply stating how it's a game and it's just what you do and the conversation ended. Later on I say Happy Father's day in the announcement and guess what she says \"Must be nice to have a father mine beats me\" Occurence 2. Now on the final straw, we  were talking about our days, wondering what we should play next and she states \"I've been crying all day and vomiting from it\". I got really annoyed and stated \"Okay C please stop making every conversation so negative, you're literally being an attention whore\". Then literally everyone called me insensitive and a pos.\n\nAnd now I feel like an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I hate those kinds of people. I would've kicked her away if she did that repeatedly ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story. \n \nSo, we ordered from Dominos for lunch. She said she just wanted those breadstick and wings. I confirmed if that was all she wanted a couple times.\n \nWhen the pizza came, she asked for a slice. I refused. She already ate probably around 12 wings, and 2 bread sticks. She also specifically said that she didn’t want pizza. She can’t have her cake and eat it too, or I guess eat her cake and have it too!\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I had to set these boundaries with my fiancé very early on in our relationship. I made it very clear that if he choose not to order anything when I placed food orders he was not getting any of mine until I was done, and even at that I sometimes marked them as leftovers for the next days lunch. \nBiggest fight we ever had was when I told him I did not want him picking food off my plate , it was on my plate for a reason, and when I got up to get a drink I turned around to see him feeding the dog my food, was not a good night \nShe needs to understand that if she had wanted some pizza then she should have made it know when you were ordering , and to not automatically feel like you should give up your food to her when she wants some. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son and his girlfriend have been dating for over a year now, and things seem to be going well. She’s a lovely girl, from a stable family, and I really think she likes our family.\n\nI’ve now got to the stage where I’m letting her stay around (albeit I ask her to sleep in the guest bedroom, because I’m not quite ready for grandchildren yet! 😇) this has worked out okay (although I have caught her in my son’s room a couple of times. \n\nThe only thing that’s making me uncomfortable is that she seems to wear barely anything to bed when staying over and, when using the family bathroom in the night, she’ll walk around in her underwear and a bralet without minding if I, my son or my daughter sees her. \n\nI’m not a prude (I actually sleep naked and my kids all sleep in underwear), but AITA for expecting her to at least wear pajamas when she visits, given their age? ######","completion":" NTA, I get you. You just seem like you want to set boundaries. You wouldn’t want your son walking around in his boxer shorts at her parents house, that’d be inappropriate. This is the same thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé proposed to me 3 days ago. We dated for 6 years previously.\n\nTo give you some insight as to why I’m upset, it’s because he’s RICH. Like owns a Rolls Royce and a mansion rich. Gucci belts and Chanel bags type rich. I didn’t know this when we initially started dating, he revealed it about 9 months into our relationship. \n\nThe ring is beautiful and I know that the ring says little about the quality of a marriage, But when he told me he got it from Etsy (I think) for only $140 after I had been gushing about it to everybody that would listen, I was really, really hurt. \n\nHe spent more on his dogs cage than my ring.\n\nI feel like he doesn’t care about me, but when I let him know, he started accusing me of being a gold digger. His family is accusing me of being a gold digger.\n\nI’m just really jarred because he previously had no qualms with spending money with me and I never took that for granted\n\nI know I’m not entitled to his money and I was never with him for his money, but considering the extent to his wealth I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in my expectations. Am I? ######","completion":" NTA, I feel like this is a sort of test. \nOf course his mom and sister are on his side. They would lose $12,000 if they weren't. \n\nI think you should really think about if you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like a gold digger. Even if you aren't one, once you start asking for anything at all it will be seen as you gold digging. \n\nYou can pay your rent and all your bills. You don't need him making you feel like a burden. \n\nThis isn't about a $100 ring, but he doesn't want to listen to why you are hurt by the ring.  Worse yet, he makes you feel bad when you try to communicate with him. \n\nLike you said, you would have been fine with a $1000 ring and to me it seems like you want to at least be seen as more special than his dog. Right, now you feel like less than a dog because he can spend $800 on a dog's cage but not on your engagement ring. \n\nWhen you tried to explain that to him he made you look like a gold digger. You want to be respected and seen like an equal. \n\nThe fact that the gem fell off proves that he didn't look for something long-lasting. He got something cheap and it made you feel cheap. \n\nI would advise that you try again to talk to him. If he won't hear you try writing a letter to voice your concerns. Don't only talk about the ring but about your future if you two get married. \n\nWould you need to sign a prenup? Would you combine incomes? Would you have separate incomes and pay 50\/50 of everything? What happens if you have kids? Would you be expected to stay home with them? Would you still have to work in order to pay your share of the bills? Would that mean getting a nanny so you can work for your bills? \n\nThese are all things you have to think about before continuing this relationship. If you don't like the answers it's ok to walk away. \n\nJust because you have been with him 6 years doesn't mean you have to marry him. Honestly, living alone and at peace with yourself would be a lot better than having to defend yourself everyday. You'll always be seen as a gold digger to him and to his family. \n\nThe fact that he still calls you a gold digger after all these years shows that he won't change. \n\nIf you even ask him for $20 for gas, you'll be seen as a gold digger. Is that something you want to live with for the rest of your life? ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story.\n\nMy parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.\n\nNever paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.\n\nRecently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.\n\nI've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.\n\nMy relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates \n\n(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)\n\nAm i wrong for feeling like this ? ######","completion":" NTA, I don’t even know why you’d contribute to a tombstone, I sure as hell wouldn’t have, and sitting shiva for a guy who abandoned you and spent his life imposing obligations and harm on you is... just no. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nThrowaway.\n\nThe story goes like this: I come back home from work and I hear arguing coming from my 16yr son's room. I come inside and I find him and my fiancee (we've been together 2,5 years, my wife left us 4 years ago) yelling at each other. I ask what happens and she says she grounded him but he refuses to accept it. I ask him what did he do and he says \"I cursed a bunch of times while playing games with friend\". I look at her and sort of ask \"that's it?\" and she goes \"yeah\". So I tell him he's not grounded and get out of the room to prepare myself something to eat.\n\nAfter a while my fiancee joins me and asks what the hell. I tell her the boy is 16 and there is nothing wrong with him yelling \"f\\*ck\" once in a while. She says that \"this isn't about that\" and explains that she gave him a punishment and that I undermined her authority over him. I told her I didn't think him cussing was a big deal and she says \"well, I did\".\n\nAnd here comes the asshole part. I go: \"Well, yeah, okay, but you're not his parent.\"\n\nShe sort of just started at me blankly while I took a bite of my sandwich, so I doubled it down by saying:\n\n\"Look, I love you and my son likes you, but I'm his father and you're not his mother. You get no say in what he can and cannot do. Next time you want to punish him for something you have to go through me first, alright?\"\n\nShe looked really hurt by this and is currently angry at me but I don't feel like I did anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA, I don't understand the people calling you TA, it's weird and awkward for someone that is not a teenager's parent to be telling them what to do? If she had such a problem with what he did, she should have come to you FIRST, as you've been his parent for 16 years, and she's just coming in now. It's bizarre for her to just feel like she should get parent authority without even having talked to you about it. Like, really weird and domineering. Even if your son was ultra disrespectful to her at some point during the interaction, she STILL needed to come to you first. I remember my step father when I was 16 thinking he could just manhandle me and my sisters if we misbehaved. Non-parents suddenly feeling like they have parent authority just because they live in your house is a huge red flag,tbh. ######"}
{"prompt":"So since September 2019 I have payed for feeding, bedding, the stable box and done all the daily work an care that comes with having a horse. The owner is a sweet girl in her 20s and her parents was paying for the horse up until then.\n\nIn September she fell, the hores were injured and she got scared, her parents then approached me about the horse and asked if I were interested to treat it as my own, if I were paying everything except medical bills. Around 600 usd a month.\nI did and I have, I had to nurse this animal because he had a huge gash in his leg. Then I had to slowly get him back into shape before I could ride due to it's a older horse.\n\nSo by January I could start to actually ride. I have been taking progress photos and videos and sendt the owner since I have experience in doing this from before. \n\nSo now after not seeing the horse or answering my progress updates since mid September 2019, she sends me a message saying she wants to take the horse for a summer vacation 2 hours away, I work fulltime and don't have the time or energy to go there every other day to care for the horse. (she was suggesting we had every other day) I told her that if I were expected to half care for it and paying, I would prefer the horse to stay where he is or I would consider to stop having responsibility for it. She got a bit offended that i argued with her since she is the owner and all that.\n\nHer parents agree with me but they also sympathise with their daughters wishes, but they don't want to pay.\n\nSo I'm sitting here kind of bummed out because I have grown to care for this animal, but I also feel I should have some say in this....am I the asshole here? \n\n\nTl;dr: I care and pay for injured horse after owner falls, doesn't hear from her in 7 months and now she wants to move the horse 2 hours away for all of summer, while I still an expected to pay for feeding and come care for it every other day. ######","completion":" NTA, I don't know much about horses but sounds like you own that horse now?  Is it normal for people who don't own the animals to pay the majority of the upkeep I'm sorry if I misunderstood anything but it sounds like the family have used you to pay for a horse they only kind of give a shit about when they should of been paying for everything to begin with? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this past week my 8 year old daughter has been begging me to shave her head. This just started after her 17 year old cousin did it. I've always considered myself a supportive mom and let my kids do whatever they want (within reason of course) \n\nShe had extremely long, blonde, gorgeous hair just like I do. She was fully aware that I was going to support her decision, school was cancelled for the rest of the year and she won't go back to school until August (possibly September) so her hair will have time to grow out.\n\nSo last night, I got out my husband's clippers and shaved her head for her. She smiled the whole time and loved the end result.  \n\nThe next day, I took a photo to send to my mom and only my mom. My mom decided to forward it to a bunch of other family members, who got back to me. 90% of them agree that I'm the asshole for not saying no to her and setting limits for her, and also told me that I'm setting her up for bullying.\n\nHere's the thing - it's literally her hair will grow back. She knows. I asked her if she regretted it and she is extremely happy that she did it. As for bullying, she knows how to stand up for herself and that hair doesn't define her beauty.\n\nI personally don't think I'm TA but I want to know everyone else's views on this. ######","completion":" NTA, I do think it's important to help your kids understand what they're doing and what the consequences of their actions can be (so they avoid acting impulsively), but I think you did just that. On the bright side, she's saving money that would've gone to the shampoo and conditioner bill lol ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a Muslim man married to a Christian lady, she is half Arab so knows islam well and in my country marriage between Muslim men and non Muslim women is pretty common. \n\nShe is my favourite person in the world and I love her so much. I am happy to share my dates with her that are specifically from my country (not super hard to get but expensive) but in my faith it’s better for me to use 1 date every evening to break my fast for this month. \n\nShe does NEVER EVER eat the dates apart from these ones I order each year because they are amazing. They are from a charity so don’t do big batches. \n\nNow I don’t have too many left and I requested my wife saves enough that I can break my fast every evening (so I need about 20 dates let’s say) she said she wants to make a dessert that will use most of my dates. \n\nI said no, that’s not fair. She said just order more. But the problem is with shipping and held up items I’m not sure not long that will take. It might be until Ramadan is over. \n\nShe is annoyed with me and keeps pointing out Islamically it would be better to give her the dates, in the sense that I would be rewarded. I guess she’s right. But I do still enjoy them. She thinks I’m being miserly. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, I can’t imagine where she’s coming from. Can’t she just go buy her own dates that aren’t special to you? Practicing your faith is something a spouse should support, and if breaking your fast with a date helps you connect with your faith, then she should respect that and leave them for you. \n\nIn the future, I suggest buying several of these small artisanal batches to avoid problems in the future. \n\nLuckily, my spouse and I don’t usually enjoy the same foods and have allergies that limit our diets. Still, when there’s stuff we both like, the one who likes it least leaves it for the one who likes it more. It’s these little things we do that show us how much we love, respect, and just “get” each other. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and haven't had many speedbumps.\n\nSo this morning we woke up super early and just chilled out on the balcony. She said she was thinking about getting a boob job because she feels insecure or whatever with her current breasts. Now I know she does have a poblem with their size and has a bit of bad experience with other guys over their size but they're honestly fine and she's over stressing them. We once even settled it by creating a throwaway and posted pictures for feedback and they were literally all positive yet she still thinks they're too small.\n\nSo obviously I was like do what you want but I think you're great regardless and she then dropped that she would like me to pay for it for her. I told her as much as I love her I'm not going to pay to fix something that's not broken. I didn't say this but this is like her coming to me with her car and saying that she always thought it looks weird, is broken and needs help getting it fixed even though I can clearly with a bunch of other people that it's fine. Why waste money fixing something that's broken. I made it clear that I'm not opposed to the idea of her getting a boob job but I can't be the one to pay for it. She got upset and called me an asshole. Was I one? ######","completion":" NTA, I can't possibly imagine her thought process on this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I was playing a game and we were answers questions and that question came out and the game is about being 100% honest and we both had been up to that point and when that question came up and she went then it was my turn  I said “ how much you say Um mind sentence” mood shattered in seconds the laughs stop immediately .  I apologize and tried to say that won by default you’re not a annoying person and it was the only thing I could think of she tried to argue but kept saying um and getting embarrassed which made the whole thing worse and she went to bed.  AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA, i always say don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. this is just an unfortunate situation, i can understand her feeling bad but there isn't really anything to do. if you can't be honest with your partner or comfortable enough to share what you think without hurting the other, then there needs to be a lot of work in the relationship ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story a short: \nMy boyfriend doesn’t like showering that much. \nHe takes care of his appearance, shaves and wears clean clothes, so overall he looks very respectable. \nHowever, despite sweating quite heavily at night and doing a lot of physical work during the day, he won’t shower more than twice a week. \nI know I have quite a sensitive nose but he does really smell bad a lot and I don’t like sleeping next to him when I can literally smell him from the other side of the bed. \n\nI tried to talk to him about it and have nicely asked him to consider showering more often, not necessarily every day but at least every two days, but he just won’t listen. \nWhen I ask him if he could please shower before bed he will offen answer “but I just showered the other day” by which it is likely he meant four days ago. \nThe other day, after months of having this conversation I had enough and told him that he stinks and that if he won’t wash himself he can go sleep on the sofa. \nOf course that hurt his feelings and he seemed very upset. \nI know it was insensitive but it made me so angry that he couldn’t respect this one request. \nIt’s also quite a turn off when it comes to being physical. \n\nHe is such a lovely person and I love him so much but this lack in hygiene actually concerns me. \nI find him attractive but I can’t get over the fact that he doesn’t think it’s necessary to shower.\nI don’t want to be a dick about it but isn’t it normal to shower more often than twice a week? \nShould I have not brought the subject up? \nAm I being an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, hygiene is such a basic thing, whether you're in a relationship or not. You're not asking for much. And if he doesn't wash his crotch, it could create problems for your crotch and mess with your ph balance. (assuming you're female) ######"}
{"prompt":"Well for starters, my stepdaughter is seven. I've been in her life since she was 3 and I love her like my own. Because of covid she has been spending a week at her father's and a week here when she normally spends just weekends at her father's. I look forward to her coming home. Well lately my wife has been yelling at my daughter for small things. And by yelling I mean actually yelling. Like yesterday my daughter had eaten some gummy bears and immediately after went to use the bathroom. My wife instantly yells at her for not picking up the wrapper. Yesterday as well she got yelling at for not picking up her toys immediately after she was done playing with them. This has been going on for awhile just Minor problems she gets yelled at for and I have brought it up saying she's just a kid and isn't being bad. I can see it on her face how upset and confused she is not knowing she's doing anything wrong and in my opinion she's not. Well yesterday was her first day home in a week and for her to get yelled at like that bothered me. So I said something to Cassandra and now she's pissed off at me saying I'm calling her a bad mother. I stated I am not but she doesn't need to be screamed at all the time. She still is upset and mad at me, but hasn't yelled at her since. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, however, I hate to say it, but you will be an A if you don’t put a stop to this.\n\nI was one of these kids, although more in my teens than single-digits as far as I remember. My mother would scream and yell at me all the time over every little thing. I didn’t read her mind and do something she never told me to do? Yelling. I didn’t let out her untrained dogs because I knew they’d come right back inside and shit on the floor? Yelling. I had a “look on my face”? Yelling. I was any emotion other than happy? Pestering, prodding, and then yelling.\n\nShe blew everything out of proportion and took her anger out on me. I was both her emotional lightning rod and her emotional support animal—my job was to absorb her anger when she was pissy and give her validation and attention when she was in the mood to whine and cry and feel bad.\n\nThis has taught me several things that I am only recently beginning to unlearn, and **these are the same lessons your stepdaughter will likely learn if you don’t put a stop to this awful treatment:**\n\n* I am responsible for other people’s emotions.\n\n* If other people are angry, I am the cause.\n\n* It is my job to make other people feel better.\n\n* I deserve to be yelled and screamed at because I clearly can’t do anything right.\n\n* Because I clearly can’t do anything right, I am a failure and thus I am bad.\n\nAmong others. But I can promise you, something as “simple” as being yelled at all the time can and will cause a host of issues later on that can easily take years to even begin dealing with.\n\nPlease don’t let your wife do this. Please don’t let your stepdaughter grow up wondering why her mom hates her and why she can’t ever seem to be good enough for her mom. Please put a stop to this and preserve her self-esteem or your wife will crush it before it even has a chance to grow.\n\nAnd don’t be afraid to stand up for your stepdaughter in front of your daughter herself when this happens. Because my dad always sympathized with me in private, but he never did a damn thing to defend me when my mom threw one of her tantrums at me. Needless to say between that and my own separate issues with him my relationship with him was never that great. Your stepdaughter will notice if you stand by, and eventually she’ll wonder why dad doesn’t care that mom is so mean to her, and she’ll really be screwed. She’ll feel like she has no one she can turn to and her only choice is just to take the abuse and then go slink into a corner to cry and feel bad about herself and deal with it alone.\n\nDon’t let her suffer like this. Please. From experience I can tell you it fucking sucks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: So I have 4 siblings in total 3 brothers (ages of 19, 17 and 16) and 1 sister who is 12 and I am 14.  Me and my sister share a room, and our brothers can eat enough for a small village.  Like literally nothing lasts more than a day in my house and my parents refuse to buy anything until the week is up so there is never any snacks in the house.  \n\nMe and my sister have started stock piling snacks in our room for us to share away from our brothers cause they would just eat it all.  We keep it all in a little safe in our room, it is one of those electronic ones so it takes a code.  We both came up with just 2 digits of the code and we don't tell each other so we don't hog more food for ourselves and its always fair when we get food.  \n\nWe were running low and I spent about 25 bucks filing it up, while she does put her own money in too I have way more cause I'm older and can actually leave the house tot he store by myself without anyone tagging along.  I have noticed that the cabinet can barely stay full for more than 2 weeks and I am starting to lose a lot of money.  \n\nShe recently asked me if she could have something out of there close to dinner time and I told her no and to wait till after dinner if she was still hunger (dinner was about in 2 or 3 hours).  She got upset and told me to just do her a favor and I refused.  I said if she really wants something ill go to the store with her and she can buy something herself.  She wasn't happy and said I'm being unreasonable.  \n\nShe was all pissy for the rest of the day and didn't speak to me for almost the whole day but got over it when we were going to bed.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, honestly, it's very generous of you to even give her that much of snacks before. It's your money you used, your snacks. \n\nYou even offered to take her to a shop so she can get her own. Still, your sister just wants your snacks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11.  I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister  asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke\n\nMy PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk\n\nMy Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor\n\nA Dell desktop and 2 monitors \n\nMac computer by downloading viruses \n\nA keyboard\n\nMy copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it\n\nMy old phone\n\nA Samsung tablet\n\nXbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)\n\nXbox one disc (about 5)\n\nAnd a few other things.\n\nWith her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.\n\nLuckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived. \n\nSo guys and gals, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, holy shit that's a long line of destruction. Your mom is an enabling idiot. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all. \nI am 21 y\/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”. \n\nTo her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line. \nShe never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted. \n\nI’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her. \n\nToday I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, holy fuck. The \"I say what I want, I'm sooo edgy\" thing is idiotic in general, but when you're prodding someone about a serious and traumatic condition with a high rate of re-occurrence you can fuck right off. That's not rude; it's extraordinarily malicious.\n\n  \nEdit: I missed the line about the aunt not knowing about your condition. Makes her less of TA, but doesn't mean she is not TA. There are certain things you don't pick at people for, for precisely this reason. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is from the DR. He and I met when I traveled abroad as a nurse in my twenties. We’re still married, he’s a fantastic man.\n\nOur 15 year old daughter, the oldest of our kids, has recently decided that she doesn’t have to respect me based on my race. We’ve raised her to be conscious of the racial issues in the US, and have made it clear that people of color face dangers that white people don’t face. In her teenage years she has decided to use this against me.\n\nFirst of all, she has decided that she’s black.\nMy husband has always referred to himself as “brown” or “latinx” and the N word is not a word we use in the house. Our daughter has decided to “reclaim” that slur as a “black woman” and she uses it in every casual sentence.\n\nWhenever I ask her to do something simple (load the dishwasher, clean clothes off her floor) she says “yes massah! Right away massah!” In a southern accent as if I’m behaving like a slave owner.\n\nMy husband is at a loss and so am I. Over the dinner table she kept using the N word and I firmly asked her to stop. She said “that’s rich coming from my WHITE mother.” I said “your WHITE mother is about to beat your BROWN ASS if you don’t go to your bedroom and stay there for the next twelve hours.”\n\nShe stomped up there but kept trying to come out throughout the night claiming she was starving (she hadn’t finished her dinner). Each time my husband and I gave her water and marched her right back to her room.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, holy fuck that child needs help. Idk how the fuck she got “black woman” from “white mom and latino dad” but i highly suggest you put her in some fuckin counseling before she goes back to school and learns the hard way why she can’t talk like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is very awkward and I’m not sure who to ask so I decided to post on here. \n\nMy boyfriend proposed last year around Christmas, and of course I immediately said yes and together we have been very excitedly planning our wedding. We were due for September this year but have obviously put everything on halt. \n\nOne of my friends, Abigail, is a singer. She has a very gospel-ly kinda voice but as awful as it sounds all I think when she sings is ‘this is warbly’ and I have to fight to keep a straight face. She’s not awful, but it’s really not my cup of tea. \n\nObviously I would never say that to her but I do encourage her passion because one day she wants to turn her hobby into a career. I always respond in the group chat with constructive feedback when she sends us voice clips asking for it and if it’s very bad I’ll just stay quiet and not say anything at all. \n\nNow recently in January a little known music producer (I think) retweeted a video of her singing and she has taken this as her sign that she is about to break it big. \n\nShe asked why I hadn’t asked her to sing in our wedding, and I answered honestly that I want her there in a friend capacity, not there to work. She then said she insisted on ‘gifting’ us the song to our first dance. \n\nI really, *really* don’t want her to do this so I told her I would need to square it with my fiancé as we are making all decisions together. Thankfully he was on board with me and I texted her ASAP to say that fiancé wasn’t keen on the idea because he *really* wants x band to play instead. \n\nShe became upset in our chat group and quite a few of my friends are texting me telling me I should give her the platform and that I’m being a bad friend and an asshole, and that I’m being selfish. ######","completion":" NTA, here it goes, my friend. The second anybody you know hears about your wedding, they’re going to start telling you what to do. But it’s YOUR wedding and if you don’t want your first dance to be sang by someone whose voice you don’t care for, you have every right to do something else. Put your foot down and let Abigail stay butthurt. Your wedding is about YOU, not her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube. \n\nI’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun. \n\nLately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things. \n\nThat’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos. \n\nHer parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######","completion":" NTA, her parents suck. it’s amazing that you’re being so supportive of your niece, and im sure she really appreciates it. just because someone will never be famous for their talent\/activity that they enjoy, doesn’t make it a waste of time. good on you OP, please continue to support her!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...\n\nI have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies. \nI blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.\n\nI told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday. \n\nI got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day. \n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######","completion":" NTA, her birthday is on Sunday. She's totally overreacting to you wanting to do something on Friday when you've already planned so much for her birthday. You can't spend every second with each other, having your own hobbies is completely normal and healthy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.\n\nShe didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does. \n\nAbout 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)\n\nSo. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues. \n\nBut now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do. \n\nI don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole  or if she is. Help! ######","completion":" NTA, her adoptive family are manipulating her, and she wronged you on a deep and personal level. Don't invite her to the wedding, it will cause you more pain. Your wedding should be a special occasion with the people that you love and the people that love you. Your wedding should be happy and fun, not remind you of when family turned you away for money. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy\/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?\n\nEdit 1:\nFor those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.\n\nEdit 2: Typo ######","completion":" NTA, help them be themselves. Be that support system! ######"}
{"prompt":"This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######","completion":" NTA, he's fishing for compliments it sounds like. I hate people like that, it gets really old real quick. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.\n\n3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.\n\nAbout 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.\n\nThey apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.\n\nA few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.\n\nMy mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)\n\nBefore the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.\n\nFast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######","completion":" NTA, he's a liar and scammer, you're doing the best by trying to keep away from him. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I'll try to keep this short, but chances are, it wont be. I(F38 almost 39) recently started talking to someone I met through work. Hes 33 and recently out of a relationship.  We've only been facebook chatting because of the shutdown, plus he no longer works for the same employer as me. I wont go see him because I work at a place thats had cases, plus i live with an older relative who wouldnt fare very well if she were to get this. \n\nSo, I recently noticed he talks about sex, a lot. Pretty much from our first conversation. At first, it didnt really bother me, although I would change the subject if it went on too long. Yesterday, we were talking about drinking. I was telling him some of the issues I'd seen crop up in my family. Telling him that's why I dont drink. I had just finished sharing a very personal story, when he told me\" I'd make you drink my cum\" \n\nI was pretty disgusted. I mean, im down for some naughty talk, dont get me wrong. But the story I had just told him definitely was not one that should have prompted him to say that. I responded with\" I'm trying to have a serious conversation right now\" Which thankfully, at the time, caused him to stop for the moment. Several minutes later, he was once again trying to steer the conversation that way, and i just wasnt having it. I told him to stop, and he called me a frigid bitch. Told me\"well since you wont come over here and i cant come there what else can i do\" \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, he's a creep who says disgusting things unprompted and then calls you misogynistic names for telling him to stop. I don't understand why this guy didn't immediately go on your black list or how you could call him potential boyfriend material.\n\nSeriously, I'm worried about you if this guy is in any way acceptable to you. That's not healthy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story.\n\nMy parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.\n\nNever paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.\n\nRecently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.\n\nI've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.\n\nMy relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates \n\n(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)\n\nAm i wrong for feeling like this ? ######","completion":" NTA, he was never a father to you, in any possible way... let me guess... his side of the family wants you to mourn... right? ######"}
{"prompt":"Well, today is mother's day at least in my country anyways.( I am sure I just reminded some of you) It's also my mother's birthday today. So its super special. \n\nBecause she's turning 50 I thought l would plan something. So from last month I have been texting my brother (23M) to make sure that he is available this weekend and to home so we could celebrate. ( he lives far away due to school) I started a month in advance because l knew that he must be nagged to do certain things.\n\nI ordered the cake and paid for it with my own money. I even booked a restaurant reservation( but due to COVID that failed) \n \nI bought Lillys for her( they are her favourite) and helped my little brother ( 7) to make a card for her.\n\nFinally after a whole month of begging and nagging my brother agreed to stay over. He kept saying things like he is super busy and may not be able to make it.\n\nSo on the day( today) my little brother and l woke up super early to make her her favourite meal. We tried waking up my big brother but he wouldn't budge. \n\nWhen my mother woke up she was so happy. The problem arose when during breakfast, my mother asked who planned all this. I was in the process of saying it was a group effort, even though my big brother did nothing but show up. My big brother cut me off and started taking credit for the whole thing. He even said he paid for the cake!\n\nI said nothing then because my mother was super happy and the moment was about her. Later on however, when my brother and l were alone, l confronted him.\n\nWhen l expressed how I didn't appreciate his stunt at breakfast,  he started saying the way l was being selfish because the moment was about our mother.\n\nSo AITA for getting mad or just petty?\nI am (18F) for context? ######","completion":" NTA, he was 100% being selfish and making it about himself. Next time I’d call him out on it, and if your mother is upset it’s his fault for lying. You were already being generous by saying it was a group effort when he wouldn’t get off his ass and do anything, for him to take credit is incredibly selfish and petty. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat. \n\nWithout hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time. \n\nI told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk\/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions. \n\nHe tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and \"taking it too seriously.\" \n\nNo, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for \"overreacting\"? ######","completion":" NTA, he shouldn't have done something he knew you found particularly humiliating.  But I think it's worth figuring out if he's doing this because he's being deliberately obtuse about something you have clearly indicated is 'out of bounds' in terms of how far to escalate teasing\/giving each other a hard time, or if it's because his feelings are getting hurt (being teased about having a wandering eye when you don't or about how much your spouse values a beloved pet could really bother some people) and rather than using his big boy words he's 'kidding around' in a passive aggressive way he knows bothers you.  Neither is acceptable reason to do something he had to know would upset you, but for your relationship long term its worth clarifying what the hell is going on with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother. \n\ni absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’. \n\ni do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######","completion":" NTA, he should not making those comments BECAUSE he is the father and you're his child. He should not be making those comments to anyone who makes it clear to be uncomfortable with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling. \n\nI’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts. \n\nIt’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading. \n\nNot only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example \n\nIf I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day! \n\nIt’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because \n\nA. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and\nB. It may just actually be a coincidence \n\nSo to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me \n\nI wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said \n\n“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”\n\nWhen he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating. \n\nI told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA? \n\nTLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######","completion":" NTA, he should not for any reason be reading your diary. I don't say this lightly, but he maybe shouldn't be your bf anymore. He does not respect boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20\/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account. \n\nWe confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number. \n\nLast week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, he said he's going to pay you? Great. Once you receive payment, give him access. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######","completion":" NTA, he learned a valuable lesson about not wearing noise cancelling headphones for watching porn ######"}
{"prompt":"Background info:\nI have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.\n\nBack in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.\n\nA couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was \"I haven't given it to her yet.\" I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.\n\nA few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.\n\nAfter he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.\n\nDid I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######","completion":" NTA, he didn't pay you, he has absolutely no right to be upset. You definitely shouldn't do work for him until he pays you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll do my best to keep this brief. \n\nEarlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not. \n\nAfter some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago. \n\nBroke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong. \n\nThere’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, he didn't even apologize for his actions wtf. You can't just apologize for \"being rude\" and leaving without saying goodbye without apologizing for offending everyone and not being able to see the error of his ways? Also you aren't obligated to celebrate family, especially if\/when they are being shitty towards you and your family. It seems like your dad hasn't even truly accepted your wife and kids as family so why bother celebrating him. Also x2 HELLOOOOo the impact that has on your children to be called said word????? Ik you didn't mention ages but no matter what age they are there's most definitely a heavy influence on them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he says around us to anyone else, but he didn't listen.\n\nSure enough my brother was \"exposed\" on a girl's Instagram story with screenshots of him saying racist things in a chat with his friends. Since the girl that posted the screenshots was in my grade my family asked me to talk to her and get her to take it down since it may \"ruin my brothers college acceptance.\" I told my family no and that he needs to be publicly ridiculed since nothing that I've said was going to get through to him.\n\nThen the post spread and now practically everyone has seen the message and has been messaging me about it saying things like \"wow I can't believe your brother is so racist\" and \"wow how can you let him say things like this.\" In response I posted something saying how I do not condone his actions and am deeply disappointed. \n\nNow my brother says that I am \"dead to him\" and my family won't talk to me because I didn't back my brother and \"betrayed the family.\" I've asked my brother to sit and talk with me about it but he's refusing to and saying that I've done too much damage and that he doesn't want to speak to me again.\n\nMy mom keeps telling me that I need to apologize to him in order to make the family \"begin to heal\" but I don't feel as though I'm in the wrong.\n\nShould I apologize? Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" Nta, he can suffer the consequences to his own action and your family enabling him will ruin his college acceptance and his future. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody. It’s me. Again. \n\nI recently went to Walmart with my mom and younger siblings and my younger brother (9, autistic which is relevant because of what my mom said) was preparing for summer camp. My mom said he needed to pick a towel. He picked a pink one with pretty butterfly’s. I said,”good choice, bub.” And my mom immediately looked upset. She asked him,”don’t you want one that’s less girly?” He started crying. She was like,”fine, whatever. Get that one.” I pulled him aside and told him that it’s okay to like things that other people consider girly because objects aren’t gendered and he should just pick what he liked. My mother was fuming. He wanted to window shop in the toy aisle so we walked over there and while he was browsing, she told me that I was way out of line and he’s already autistic and she doesn’t want to give kids one more thing to pick on him for. Now I’m 19. I told her this isn’t the 90s. Kids don’t do shit like that and I was a kid a very short time ago so I should know but she berated me over and over for it and we got in another argument about it today. \n\nTL;DR: AITA for telling my brother to like whatever he wants despite what my mom says? \n\nSo reddit, AITA here? She’s making me second guess myself. ######","completion":" NTA, good job sticking up for someone who can't do it for themselves. The morals he learns now will carry on in his life and you never know what could be a pivotal moment. Thank you for your part ######"}
{"prompt":"It's an open secret in my office that my boss, one of those raving fundamentalist types, puts things like ideological conformity first and foremost when doling out opportunities for advancement.\n\nYes, I know that's technically illegal, but we're in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas and half the time the police won't even respond to a burglary in progress, let alone petty shit like this. Plus I wouldn't put it past them to side with my boss, given how common people like her are around here.\n\nI got the idea of maybe faking a religious persuasion along the lines of what my boss holds, purely for the sake of climbing her little list of who to favor?\n\nIt's kind of scummy, sure, but it's the only way to advance around here - trust me, I've tried looking for other work in my field, and there isn't any unless I move completely out of state - and it's not like she should be using this as a criteria anyways. ######","completion":" NTA, go nuts.  If he's going to pay more based on religion, exploit that moron.\n\nThe problem is, you might get sick to your stomach trying to fake being a fundy.  I know I would. ######"}
{"prompt":"My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, get better friends suited to your lifestyle ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I do not live together but we want to. He has told me that he wants dogs, specifically Husky's and German Shepherds. I am on board with this but I want them to be raised to my standards. He wants them to be like his grandparent's dogs (he lives with them) but I would want them to be kind of like my parent's dogs.\n\nHis grandparents' dogs jump, bark all the time, Beg, are not spayed, nails aren't cut (So they constantly cut his younger siblings), never get exercised, and they always have food in their bowl.\n\nmy dogs at home do not jump up unless invited up, nails are always cut, are fixed, Get fed at the same time every day (7:30 am and 7:30 pm. it helps keep them at a healthy weight), They beg but stop when told no, barely ever bark and when they do they stop when told to, and get plenty of exercise.\n\nI also tell him our dogs will not be overweight as that means an unhealthy dog and can lead to health problems, especially since he wants bigger dogs.\n\nHe always says I'm crazy when I tell him this and he has even called me an asshole for it, telling me we should not be so strict with dogs since they act how they want to. So AITA for setting these rules or am I okay? ######","completion":" NTA, German Shepherds and Huskies are very big and can be uncontrollable and chaotic if not well trained. \n\nIf he can’t handle that kind of discipline and think those standards you’ve laid out are too crazy, then maybe you need to rethink getting a dog, or atleast breeds that are so high maintenance. \n\nTraining and discipline is essential for dogs. I don’t know why he would think you’re the asshole for that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, i went to walk my dog and one of my neighbors, who i’m friendly enough with but definitely not friends with, was outside with her two small children. I’m not sure of their ages but I think they’re about 5 and 7. I asked her how everything was going for them. She said that it was fine but that her kids were going a bit stir crazy. \n\nI offered to give them a little kiddie pool (the plastic kind you can buy for like $15 at Walmart) that I had in my shed. My husband and I bought it when my dog was a puppy but now he is too big to use it. I even said that I would clean it for her because i’m sure it’s a bit dusty from just being in the shed. She laughed and said no thanks and that she never wanted a pool in her yard because it is “trashy.” I was a little taken aback but i just basically said ok. \n\nHer boy heard and was like “Anna (not my real name) has a pool? Can we get it, mom? Pleaseeee?” My neighbor then said that she wanted the pool. I told her no and that I would keep my trashy pool in my trashy yard. I was definitely annoyed at this point. The boy and girl then started to ask me for the pool and I said that if their mom wanted to get them a pool, she could do it herself. My neighbor gave me a dirty look and then i went back to my house.\n\nI told my husband what happened and he was upset with me. He said that she shouldn’t have called it trashy but that he didn’t understand why i was punishing the kids for something the mom did and that the fact that I could tell a kid “no” for something I could easily do was “cold” of me. He’s now worried about how i’ll treat our future children! I think this is an absolutely insane overreaction. I just didn’t feel like doing anything for someone who called something I own trashy. In my opinion, it’s not a big deal at all so i’m really confused here. Aita? ######","completion":" NTA, fuck that lady ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.  \n\nYesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 \/10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10\/10 \n\nHe accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######","completion":" NTA, friends keep it real with each other.  Sometimes this means a reality check. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know. \n\nI've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried. \n\nOnce I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.\n\nI kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her \"I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to\", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.\n\nMy mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######","completion":" NTA, former CTM here, those clearances are not anything to fuck around with, granted it sounds like what he did was terrible, typically anything in public record pike that they dont care about since it cant be used for things like blackmail, but it is still something you want to give your investigators a heads up about whrn you meet with them in boot camp and A school, knowing his crime makes it look a lot better than saying you dont. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend and her toddler came over to play in my yard. I was working in the garden planting some fairly specific heirloom tomatoes I special ordered from a local farm. \n\nI gave my friend’s child and my own some gardening tools and told them they could dig in an empty bed. Meanwhile my friend and I were chatting as I worked. \n\nA minute later I looked over and realized her child had somehow gotten ahold of these plants off a nearby table. He had mangled them to the point they were no longer plantable. I tried to hide my frustration. \n\nShe shrugged and said “Toddlers, always ruining stuff.” I get it, she’s not wrong, when my child was a toddler she wasn’t destructive, but that’s generally the exception. \n\nWhen I said in exasperation, “oh man! Those were hard to come by tomatoes!” she said that next time I should move things out of reach and that she would pick up the drink tab next time we go out.\n\nThe plant cost about $15 but it’s more the rarity in finding it that bothers me, not the money.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, for me it doesn't even matter what kind of tomatoes they were. If my child destroy's something at someone else's house im going to instantly offer to replace it because it's common courtesy to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.\n\nBut then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.\n\nSo now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, finding someone of the same sex attractive does not make you gay. ######"}
{"prompt":"English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people\n\nAnd yes there is a post in r\/advice speaking about my problem \n\nI (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.\n\nOne day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son” \n\nI didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.\n\nFast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby\nI was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true) \nShe told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever \n\nToday i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box \n\nMy cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)\nAnd i was like yeah sure \nAnd then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on\n\nAfter the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left\n\nWell they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######","completion":" Nta, family\/relative are always like this. They think they are entitled  to everything. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######","completion":" NTA, excuse my french but what a dickhead, I’d have deleted her from my life by now ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger\/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??). \n\nI however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable. \n\nThis is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)\n\nAnyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.” \n\nSo, am I being a snob\/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######","completion":" NTA, everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to nudity, gender or sexuality aside, what she's doing is rude because she knows it makes you uncomfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I might have overreacted, but here goes. I (25f) have a 30 year old sister, and she is very controlling and loves telling me what to do, as well as our two brothers. Bit of a control freak who involves herself in everyone's business. She's a bit obsessed with my hair, it's thick and hers is very thin, so you know what I mean there, wishes she had hair like mine. She's always touching it, playing with it, stuff like that. Whatever, doesn't bother me that much. \n\nWe're all still at home, I definitely cannot afford to get my own place for another while and she is looking for a house close to the family house and her work. There have been instances when I am in the bath washing myself, and she will come in to wash her hands or brush her teeth. I don't think she comes in with the deliberate intention of this, but she still does it and the last time I lost it. When she is standing there doing her stuff, she will watch me washing my hair. This isn't prolonged or anything, but she still does it. Standing at the sink doing whatever and watching me. \n\nThe last time this happened I lost it. Screamed at her to fuck off and that she's a creep and a pervert. She's always been the golden child, so I got told off by our mum to stop shouting and sister had the gall to tell me to stop shouting as well and to watch my language. I might have overreacted but I think it's unfair to just stand there watching your own sister, naked in the bath having a wash and commenting on how she washes her hair, not having any boundaries for someone else's privacy and dignity. I know that she didn't come in deliberately to watch but that's not the point. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, everyone deserves privacy in a bathroom and it is perverted to stand there watching someone shower naked without their express permission to do so ######"}
{"prompt":"So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time. \n\nWe have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly. \n\nHowever when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs\/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.\n\nMy reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.\n\nSo now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).\n\nSo I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.\n\nSo today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate. \n\nShe's now saying I can use \"our\" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, Every couple goes through financial problems when living together. I'd suggest\n\n1) Both having Separate Bank Accounts and one Joint account. \n\n2) Both transfer enough money for bills, shopping, rent etc and agree on an amount for entertainment and savings, rainy day fund, Holiday fund put that in the account too. \n\n3) What's left is upto yous to do what you want with the rest. \n\nThat's the formula me and my OH use. We both still have our own money after we pay bills etc. Any nights out together, purchases for the house come out of the joint account. While if I go out with the lads I'll use my own money. Likewise she wants to go clothes shopping she will use her own money.... \n\n15 years together and married for ten of those so it works for us. Important to have your own money to spend every months... ######"}
{"prompt":"It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything. \n\nBefore you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up). \n\nI live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail\/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######","completion":" NTA, even with them taking care of your elderly grandmother. They should not be taking advantage of your line of credit and leaving you in a bad situation.\n\nEspecially because you don’t even know if they’re using it on her, or for luxuries for themselves. It really sucks that you are in this situation but please make sure to take care of your needs first. Don’t be too compassionate that you end up getting screwed over. ######"}
{"prompt":"I told her I felt it was misleading to make me think she couldn’t afford to pay for her car battery if times were so tough and she can justify getting her nails done when I’m struggling to make it myself. Mind you she is on a fixed income, disabled, retired, and receives government compensation (social security\/disability\/drives Uber) for all of her bills, necessities, and fun. I’m a healthcare worker who works full time with 2 roommates out of work and on unemployment applying to grocery stores for work. We are making it work but I am trying to support us adoring this crisis with what I can but I can’t help but feel this is super selfish and wrong. ######","completion":" NTA, even though the nail tech price and the car battery price don't sound comparable, she's still using up x amount of dollars on her nails that she otherwise could've saved up. It's a shame that she's taking funds away from you when you're kind enough to care for 2 others. NTA for trying to make her understand how ridiculous her choice was. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 30 year old male with high functioning autism. The other day my brother told me to stop fucking around and get my shit together so I can get married and have kids. I told him that we already had this conversation. I don’t want kids. I pass for normal but I had difficulty with learning and social interactions growing up. They don’t understand how difficult it really is. If I am going to get married it would be to another autistic person which raises the likelihood of our child having it too. I don’t want to take the chances of my kid being what I am or worse off. I’m also pretty unhealthy. My L5 is messed up and I’m in constant pain. My dad suffered from constant pain from a leg injury he had. He missed out on a lot of my childhood before he died of a heart attack when I was 7. I don’t want to have a kid and have them be without a dad. My past partners have all been autistic and super irresponsible. No one that I would trust raising a child. Similar to my mom who had a everything will work itself out mentality which led to my siblings getting into a lot of trouble. My brother wasn’t happy about this and stormed off because his kids needs cousins. You want the best for your kids and I don’t even see my kids having an ok life so why would I try. The kid would likely be mentally retarded due to both parents having the gene. The person I’m seeing is basically a child in a adult woman’s body. I have no trust in her. Even if I took better care of myself I still have a lot of health issues that could take me out before the kid grows up. Am I the AITA for not wanting to bring a child into a shitty situation? ######","completion":" NTA, even if you didn't have autism.  Don't let people shame you into doing something you don't want to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc. \nSo anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, even if still living at home, you are entitled to a lot more privacy at 25. Also, your money is your money, they should have asked rather than assuming you would be fine with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there.  I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.\n\n1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for. \n\n2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play\n\n3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed. \n\nThis is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!\n\nSo today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ######","completion":" NTA, especially since your neighbors \"often\" supervise him. Which implies that they sometimes **don't** supervise him. Who the feck lets a 2 year old wander outside (except for fenced-in backyards, etc) without constant supervision??\n\nThere are three kinds of people: absent-minded parents, stupidly negligent parents, and looking-to-sue-someone parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everyone.\n\nI live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.\n\nMy wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.\n\nOur next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.\n\nToday my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.\n\nI stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.” \n\nI came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.\n\nMy wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######","completion":" NTA, especially since it sounds like they’re breaking the social gathering limit in a time like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######","completion":" NTA, eat whatever the fuck you want. Are you dunking your pizza in your milk and pouring milk into your spaghetti? \/s ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account. \n\nSo... Long story short, my best friend got divorced after cheating on her husband. They tried to make it work for months before it came to that, even though she was still in a relationship with the other person, unbeknownst to the ex husband. It was.... A lot. And messy. But I supported her the best I could long distance, not judging her, just wanting her to make the best decision given the circumstances. \n\nFast forward about 6 months from the actual divorce, and well over a year since this all started. BFF is still with the other guy, and her ex has moved on and now has a gf. I remained friends with the ex on social media because I like him. I think he is a good person. Also, she never unfollowed him and continued to like his posts including pictures of him and his new girl. I MADE SURE that she had liked one of their photos before I started liking his stuff again! \n\nLast week he posted a cute picture with her with a #wcw tag and I liked the picture. A day or so ago BFF texted me telling me it really hurt her that I like his posts about his new girlfriend. I was really apologetic but also pointed out that she had been liking their photos together so I didn't think it would bother her.  She accepted my apology but went on to explain that basically he moved on from their relationship too quickly after pretending to work on it, so she was hurt..... Even though she was seeing the other dude all the while?! I was flabbergasted, and now I'm frustrated with the whole situation. \n\nSounds really dumb and it is, but I would like an outsider's opinion. \n\nAm I an asshole for liking his pictures? ######","completion":" NTA, dude it's a picture and SHE cheated on HIM not the other way around ######"}
{"prompt":"My (24f) boyfriend (28m) wants me to potentially reverse the tubal ligation surgery I had. For reference, I had the surgery for a variety of reasons, including that there are several genetic issues within my family that I would be hesitant to pass on. \n\nHe has said that he would pay for it because he wants bio kids one day, but due to issues with my physical and mental health, I don't think it's safe, and I would prefer to adopt. \n\nAm I being the unreasonable one here? ######","completion":" NTA, double down and get a salpingectomy to remove them. Him asking that of you makes my skin crawl. Good for you for making that decision for yourself and don’t ever let anyone question it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Caught my neighbor spraying weedicide on my lawn (in my fenced in backyard) because she said “she was sick of all the weeds” and thought she was doing me a solid.\n\n1. I like dandelions they are good for the bees\n\n2. I have pet rabbits, dogs, cats, and a tortoise i like to roam the yard and all of them eat or at least nibble and lick the grass so it’s literally poisoning my pets.\n\nSo anyway, I kick her the fuck out and take all my pets inside.\n\nNow 2 of my rabbits are dead and another is in critical condition. I’ll never be able to let my pets outside again to eat the grass because weedicide takes forever to go away because it can sit in the soil for who knows how long and Im worried that the dogs and cats might end up having a reaction too since they also nibble the grass (call me overprotective or over cautious IDC I love my animals) \n\nSo I’m suing her for: damage to my property because it is now unusable for my animals, veterinary bills, and emotional damage due to the deaths of my two rabbits.\n\nI’m also trying to get the cops to pursue a case of animal abuse or at minimum criminal damage because she did basically poison my animals but I doubt anything will come from it because I have to prove ill-intent but they are pursuing her for criminal trespass. \n\nShe’s a Karen. I think she deserves it for thinking she had any right to be on my property at all; and especially because it’s killed my pets and now Idk what to do about my lawn because I’m not risking another animal’s life by letting them out (at least unsupervised for at least a year. However my parents and my girlfriend think I’m being unnecessarily cruel because it “was an accident and she thought she was just being a good neighbor, and that Im making it to be a bigger deal than it is” and should just ask for her to pay my vet bills ######","completion":" NTA, don't trespass, don't mess with peoples property, if you want to do something \"nice\" ask permission.\nIdk if removing your toplayer and putting turf down would make it safe for pets again but if so she should pay for that ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.\n\nLast year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.\n\nHe has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or \/he\/ would cut me off for his own health. \n\nI do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA, don't jump on his grenade. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.\n\nMy sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, does she want him growing up crippled? That would create far more hardship for him than wearing braces for a few months as a baby (and if anyone makes fun of him, he won't care nor remember, and shame on them for making fun of a literal baby). Poor kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23,F) have been with my boyfriend (25,M) for nearly 18 months now. \n\nWe have been living together for the past 5 months in his apartment. We split rent and utilities\/food shopping 60\/40 based on our income. He earns a little more than me as I've just finished my degree. \n\nWe have been lucky enough to be able to continue working throughout this crisis, as we both have jobs which mean we can work from home. \n\nMy boyfriend recently won £1,000 (around $1246)on a scratch off lottery ticket. We had a quick discussion regarding the winnings and decided together (he actually suggested it first) that we would put it in a savings account to start a savings fund to buy a house together.\n\nI was very happy with this as his apartment isn't the biggest and we have been discussing possibly starting a family in the near future. \n\nLife continued as normal for a few weeks until I get a text message from my boyfriend telling me to 'come outside'. I leave the apartment and my boyfriend is sat in a beautiful, top of the range Lamborghini. Obviously my first question was 'where did you get this'. He explained that he has a friend who knows a guy who rents his car out for 24 hours at a time for £1,500! He put some of his own money towards his lottery winnings and picked this car up for the day.\n\nObviously I was livid and refused to have any part of it. My boyfriend was obviously happy as larry swanning around in this car all day driving past friends houses and letting them drive it.\n\nThis was last week and things are still very tense, he says he should be able to spend his own winnings on whatever he wants but I think he should have kept to his original promise and put the money away for something productive and beneficial to our future. \n\nAITA? \n\nTL;DR: Boyfriend won 1k on scratch off lottery ticket, agreed to put it towards saving for house fund, rented Lamborghini for the day instead. ######","completion":" NTA, do yourself a favour and learn now that this dude is not ready for real commitment. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.\nI woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply \"yes please\" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.\n\n While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says \"dad my cup was there\" his response was \"you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning\"... I hear this conversation and I ask if \"my wife had her cup in place\", he said \"yes but she knows how I am\".... I responded back with \" you are just going to have to wait until she is finished\"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so. \nSo AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######","completion":" NTA, dem be some rude ass guests... ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, i'm a 24 year old Man, and recently somethings happened, i recently moved in to a new neighborhood, and started recycling my trash, and even bought special trash bins for that, no longer after, my neighbour started saying that my \"hippie trash\" was appearing at his frontyard, and demanded that i payed him to clean it, or put a special blocking fence so that any racoons did the same thing again, i got confused because there were no racoons along the neighborhood, but i payed him and built the fencing, and even started to think about getting cameras, the next week my neighbour said the same thing, and said he was calling the cops if i didn't do anything, i paid him again, cleaned his frontyard and decided to instal cameras, three days after i installed the cameras, i woke up with him almost breaking my door because of trash again, i tried to calm him down while he started calling the cops, i then checked the cameras to discover that not only it wasn't racoons, but himself was taking my trash, and putting in his frontyard so i could pay him and clean, i lost almost 2,000 dollars in him, and i got furious, i knocked on his door, and asked if he had called the cops, he said he didn't did it \"yet\", so i called them myself, after showing the recordings and explaining the story, he was arrested and was taken away, but now i feel guilty, (i forgot to say he has a 3 year old daughter, that he takes care alone), i don't know if i did right, so, Am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, definitely not the asshole. Your neighbor fucked up ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.\n\n Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there. \n\nThen, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######","completion":" NTA, dad's probably cranky because he's dehydrated ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage. \n\nMy sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work. \n\nThis means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime ) \n\nAt this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza. \n\nShe does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.\n\nAm I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.\n\nAITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######","completion":" NTA, Compassion burn-out is a real thing,  **but don't be upset with her for not wanting to follow your exact protocol**. Consider talking to her about alternatives to pain pills as that may be why she's hesitant. You don't always have to go running after her if she's vomited from the pain,  but you can show kindness in other ways. \n\nIt is not up to you to take care of someone who won't help themselves in their own way.\n\nEdit: typo ######"}
{"prompt":"So my brother just had a baby a month and a half ago with his wife and due to coronavirus we haven't been able to see her until recently.  \n\nMy mother (62) has been looking forward to meeting her and since the baby has been here with us now for a few days along with my brother and his wife, she has been very helpful with her, and loves bonding with her granddaughter. I have zero issue with this, I think it's absolutely lovely.\n\nHere is where I might be the A.\nMy mom offered to have the baby sleep with her and my dad during the night. Brother and wife said ok, if they want and that was that, but I, after seeing how they placed her voiced my concerns about it being dangerous for the baby. She sleeps between my mom who is a pretty wide framed lady and my dad. They have conjoined mattresses and there is a gap between the two mattresses where the baby ends up having her head when they fall asleep. She also has her little feet somewhere by\/under my moms body and I'm afraid that she might squish her. \n\nI told my mom that I'm worried about the safety of the baby but she says it's a womans instinct to not lay on the baby during sleep. I'm just concerned because she is getting older and is becoming more of a deep sleeper that something bad might happen, but they say I'm too nitpicky and give me angry looks if I say I think something isn't safe.\n\nSo, am I the asshole? Do I need to but out? ######","completion":" NTA, co-sleeping has accidentally killed many babies and that is a horrible thing to happen. you were just voicing your concerns and that doesn’t make you an asshole ######"}
{"prompt":"Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.\n\nThere's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.\n\nWhen I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it \"off limits\" for my eating in their mind.\n\nAITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######","completion":" NTA, chefs sample their dishes all the time. It'd be a liiiiitttle weird if it was actually the dog-specific food, but smoked mackerel is some good stuff. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 28F and my parents just don't know how to cut the cord. Part of this is due to my 35 year old brother who has been and still is reliant on them. It's more my father than my mother and it's gotten exponentially worse since I bought my own home. I am completely self sufficient and have never asked their help for ANYTHING save maybe an opinion here or there. I am lucky enough to financially maintain my own lifestyle because I work hard to do so. My dad believes everything is an open invitation for him to take control of my life.  \n  \nI do not want to seem ungrateful because he has done a ton for me with the only caveat being that I never fucking asked for it! When I was first moving into my home he would randomly pop over with this trinket or that furniture that I never even wanted and still don't to this day. It has caused many an arguement and I've even thought about changing the locks on my door. I never even gave him a key by the way, he made a copy of the one I had given my mother to hang on to in case of emergencies. I don't want any of the shit he gives me and I don't need the charity. I just want to live my own life.  \n  \nThe final straw happened today. I'm a nurse, and I work back to back night shift this week. After a grueling 14 hour shift I was finally able to relax enough to close my eyes only to be woken up about 3 hours later by neighbors landscaping. Aggravating but whatever I can't control other people. After tossing and turning I felt like the sound was getting closer...because it was! It was not my neighbors. My father and brother took it upon themselves to come and mow\/weedwhip my lawn. I'm literally laying here crying because I'm so tired, aggravated, and just genuinely pissed off.   \n  \nI don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat but Jesus Christ I just want my boundaries respected. Am I wrong to feel this way? ######","completion":" Nta, change your locks and set boundaries.  They will probably be mad at you but if they set their boundaries the you have too. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently got into a spat with my current boyfriend over this topic.\n\nIt started because he wanted to know where I got my Tony chopper plushy from as he wanted to buy one for his sister and I told him that I didn't know because it was a gift from my high school boyfriend. He got kinda bummed out and asked me if I had any other stuff from exes and I was honest. A few books, a Chanel parfumé and some of my earring (not that expensive stuff). We then got in an argument about keeping things from exes. He belives that once the relationship is over you shouldn't keep anything from them because that means that you moved on. My stance is.... That they are objects that I like and throwing them away \/gifting them is unnecessary. I don't connect those things to my exes and I don't think about them when I use them. Maybe this comes from the pov that his relationships ended badly where as mine just didn't. My high school bf and I broke up because we were just stupid kids and the other 2 and I noticed we were not going in the same directions so we had a clean cut and are on good terms. We don't talk or anything but if we ever run arround the same circle we can be cordial. His ex cheated on him and the ex before ghosted him so maybe that is that?\n\nSo AITA for keeping things from my ex boyfriends? ######","completion":" Nta, certainly not over the sort of things that you’re describing. I have things I’ve been gifted by exes that I chose to get rid of because they were deeply personal and it felt inappropriate to keep them but what you’re describing is pretty normal gift items. How long ago did you split up with your high school bf out of interest ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink. \n\nI try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with \"maybe\" or \"we'll see\". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition. \n\nSo one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: \"this is why have roaches\" to which my siblings answered  with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, call them out! Roaches and other pests are not sanitary ######"}
{"prompt":"First post, and on mobile.\n\nSo I parent my child who's 19 since you wanted to live with me until he enrolls in University. Yesterday was his birthday so I decided to get him a phone. It was an iPhone 7. As soon as I gave it to him that day, he stomped away and gave me back the phone pulling me a piece of ass for getting him an old phone. He's too old for me to spank. I returned the phone back to the store. After I got home and let him know, he verbally lectured me that he changed his mind. I cut him off and told him if he calls me another name he would be moving out. He stomped away and never talked to me since. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, buy your own damn phone. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers. \n\nMy mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot. \n\nI take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.\n\nThe thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”\n\nAt this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.\n\nWhen I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.\n\nI am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, buy a cheap plastic door wedge and ram it under the door when you shower. If she picks the lock, the door won't open. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (30f) took on full support of my step-daughter (16f) about 2 years ago. We get no help from her actual mother in any way because laws are complicated. Up until 2 years ago I would have said her mother, her father and myself had a shockingly good working relationship regarding my daughter. Then 2 years ago we got a call from a concerned friend that caused us to take my daughter full time. \n\nSince then it has come to light they were hiding that her mother is an alcoholic, that her mother let her friends and boyfriends abuse my daughter emotional and physically, and that she was spending all of our child support on boyfriends while telling friends we were doing nothing for my daughter at all. \n\nA couple weeks ago my daughter overheard my husband and I upset that her mother had claimed our daughter on her taxes even though she didn’t spend a single night sleeping in her house. Since then my daughter has decided she can ask her mother for all kinds of toys and such because her mother “owes her 4 thousand dollars of support.” I have discussed with her that manipulating people and using people is very wrong, but she says her mother deserves it. I can’t say I don’t agree, but I am concerned that I am just very angry with her. So I am turning to a third party. Am I the asshole for not stepping in for forcefully and making my daughter treat her mother better?\n\nEdit: My daughter does have a therapist but it has been interrupted by covid-19 as she refuses phone therapy. We are doing our best until everything opens up again. ######","completion":" NTA, but...clearly this isn’t about toys. It’s about your stepdaughter trying to cope with extremely negative things and perhaps trauma. Manipulating her deadbeat mom is not ultimately going to make her feel better. I hope stepdaughter is in therapy ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’m 24 and live on my own. \n\nMy little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad. \n\nMiles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom. \n\nFrom what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible. \n\nI was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid). \n\nApparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.” \n\nI told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again. \n\nI’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but... you might want to look into what the legal situation is in your state\/country. He is a minor, so I’m not sure at what point it’s truly up to him. You might need to essentially go to court or something but IANAL so take that with a lot of salt. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a single dad, 43 years old. Computer programmer. My son, let's call him Jack, is 17 years old. Jack's mom died when he was 10, but thankfully we both handled our grief together quite well.\n\nWhen Jack got his first laptop, five years ago, I took my time explaining how the internet worked, the dangers, etc. I allowed him to create a social media account, as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted, which was a privilege I made use of a few times until he turned 15 and I realized I could trust him, having never asked for it since then. He allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case, but I never really looked for them, so his social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the last couple of years.\n\nHowever, I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous, so I installed a keylogger just in case, always thinking about his safety. I never had to use it and, the more I watched him grow up, I eventually I realized I would never really use it, but I never bothered to remove it.\n\nMy sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps and my niece overheard us (they were born the same year). She got offended I would do such a thing, claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy, and that I should be ashamed, and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd ground her for meddling in my parenting.\n\nSo, reddit. AITA for having installed a keylogger even though I never had to use it? ######","completion":" NTA, but YWBTA if you didn't tell your son that you had it installed when he was a kid and that you were going to uninstall it. explain that you never used it and you just wanted to be safe. say that you're sorry for not trusting him UNINSTALL IT. I totally understand, having a kid at age 12 browsing the internet is a terrifying thing, and i understand why you did that. You're a good dad OP, I hope to see an update where you talk to your son about it and then uninstall it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok backstory, this is all pre-covid. My neighbors property borders mine on 2 sides. \n\nWe did not have a fence between our yards, and both of us have dogs. I thought it might be advantageous to put one in, so my dogs could run free, without worrying about them getting out. I approached them about splitting the cost of the parts that adjoin our property, since we both would benefit, and he initially agreed. \n\nI sought out a few quotes, and found what I thought was a good contractor, at a good price, and gave him a copy the quotes. Several days go by, and he says he no longer wants to share the cost of the fence. Just to be clear, I don't think it's a financial issue.\n\nOk, fine. I proceed as planned, this time I'm paying for the full cost, since this would make my dogs safe and happy. \n\nThe day of install comes, and our contractor has to reschedule. Bummer, but not the end of the world. That same day, I see a (different) contractor in my neighbors yard putting in...a gate and a few feet of fence going back to side his house. \n\nI see this for what it is, and decide to teach wise-ass a lesson. Install day comes around again, and this time, instead of installing it on the property line, I asked the contractor to set this section back 1 foot. \n\nThis now means his gate is worthless since his dog can easily walk around it, unless he connects to the fence I paid for on my property, which he can't legally do, and I refuse to allow. \n\nThe wives are pissed at the whole thing, since previously we were all friendly, but it seems to have caused a bit of friction, mostly between the husband and I. \n\nI humbly await your verdict. ######","completion":" NTA, but your neighbor is. He wants the fence, but doesn't want to pay for the shared portion. Good for you. Be careful, he could claim rights to that portion if he has it long enough, but it's only a foot.\n\nEdit: It's called adverse possession. ######"}
{"prompt":"I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.\n\nShe really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie. \nShe thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind. \nEspecially in conversations with others where she would talk \"for\" me. \n\nToday I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime. \n\nShe looked at my dad and said: \"Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?\" \nI was confused that she would lie about me.\nMe: \"That's not true.\"\nShe ignores me. \nI say it again, loudly. \nShe still ignores me. \nMe (yelling because I'm frustrated): \"Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!\"\nThen she stormed out whilst saying: \"You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!\" \n\nI know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA, but your mother is. No one likes being lied about, and on such a small matter? \n\nI think you should take an approach like another redditor: She was being called the wrong name (Her name was Tina and they called her Tiana, Tiara, Tia, etc) so she started calling *them* the wrong names (Jessica is Jennifer, Chad is Charles, etc). Perhaps you can take a similar approach to your mother. Make small lies about her to her face like she does you. If she can dish it, she should be able to take it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.\n\nhe frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse. \n\nas much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial \"support\"(he blows all his money on stupid things)\n\nmy mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care). \n\nI recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like \"your mom needs you to stay here\", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.\n\ntoday was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone \"because she wanted to do something nice for him\". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.\n\nI think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.\n\nAITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######","completion":" NTA, but your mom seems to really be under his influence. It's a terrible thing that she may be suffering too from him, but you shouldn't have to suffer as a result of it. If you feel that's what you need to do for now, maybe limit contact instead of burning the bridge altogether. If that still isn't enough though, then I think you have every justified reason to walk away. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 3, my parents had a divorce. Even though my father got visitation every other weekend, my mom made the dumb decision to run away with me to a different state.\n\nI didn't see my father since and consider my stepfather my actual father.\n\nI'm now 15 and I'm living with my father after my mom was caught and arrested. She had a short prison sentence and I'm now only allowed supervised contact with her.\n\nSo look, I know my mom did a bad thing. But it's done. I'm now being made to live with a family who are strangers to me.\n\nI had to leave my whole life and move to a different state. I'm so unhappy here. \n\nMy school doesn't even have the sport I was relying on to get me through college. \n\nAnd I just can't get along with my father's wife and their 11 year old son, who has autism.\n\nAnd my father is being desperate about us having a relationship but it's just too wierd for me. I have asked him several times to let me go to my grandmother's house but he refuses.\n\nI just think he wants a kid who's \"normal\". But I don't care if he buys me stuff. I didn't grow up with him.\n\nI'm not happy and I've been making sure they know about it. I figured if they don't want me to be happy then they can be miserable too. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but your mom is. I think something alot of people in the comment section are forgetting is that you just can't force people to get along or expect a kid who've been uprooted to settle well in a new house hold, especially as one as stressful as the one OP is describing. Your dad really wants a relationship with you and no it's not his fault for taking you but he can't force you to like him or his family. You can absolutely let them know your unhappy but don't go out of your way to be dickish about it or to intentionally cause malice.\n\nAnother thing I think people are forgetting is it's incredibly easy to lie about ex's to parents and they probably thought the mom had custody and now have to deal with not seeing thier grandkid. I would suggest going over visitation rights for grandparents, some states have them others don't. At least you would be able to see them and it might make it easier for you to live with your dad.\n\nEdit: Grammer and thank you to whoever gave the silver to this comment, I've never got one before. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys\/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.\n\nHowever three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors\/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants. \n\nLater that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and \"masculinity\". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear \"identity\" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy? \n\nTL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but your husband is. You're not banning boyish things, you're just allowing your kid to play with things he likes. I would do the same for my kid if he was interested in dress up, or wanted his nails painted or whatever. Mine will likely grow up to be cis (I'd be fine with it if he wasn't but it seems like he will), and little bit of glitter or nail polish isn't going to threaten that in any way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters. \n\nOnly one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes. \n\nI tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out. \n\nHe's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######","completion":" NTA, but your brother and your SIL are assholes.  It's okay for her to ask (a little rude, but not over the line), but then acting entitled to the necklace is solidly in asshole territory.  You don't \"owe\" her anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened. \n\nA lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”\n\nWe get her order, she pays then leaves. \n\nAfter she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”. \n\nAnd I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but your boss sure is. ######"}
{"prompt":"I \\[30M\\] live with two roommates - Kate \\[32\\] and Sean \\[27\\].\n\nSean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \\[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme. \n\nHow obvious? He has the diagram of the \"company's model\" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for \"membership\" in his \"business\", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his \"business\". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were \"wrong about it\" and \"don't know anything\". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making \"business calls\", complained about not having money, etc.\n\nYesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a \"business call\" \\[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly \"Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?\". Without thinking, I replied \"Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes\".\n\nSean got furious, and started ranting about how he's \"disappointed\" with me not \"fact-checking\" \\[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\\], and for not \"supporting him\", and how he \"expected better\" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.\n\nI can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but you're going to get a lot of pushback from him. mlms target people who are in a vulnerable state of mind, and your roommate certainly fits the bill. he's going to be 30, he's not made it in acting yet and he's waiting tables. in swoops this mlm, promising him that with just a little elbow grease he can make something of himself. you're a good friend to try and get him to see sense, but don't expect him to appreciate it at the moment. \n\nalso, check out  [https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/antiMLM\/](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/antiMLM\/)  for advice on dealing with someone sucked into an mlm. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little context to explain why I chose not to tell him. My father (50) has a number of serious health problems, heart disease, kidney failure (currently on dialysis), he's had 2 strokes, diabetes, and anger issues. He also is a single father, my mother passed when I was 9, leaving him to raise my brother (currently 22M) and me (20F). My father is a pastor and very outspoken about his beliefs, he's homophobic, racist, and really the stereotypical white male. \n\nI am currently in the military, so is my brother. A year before I left for bootcamp my brother, who had joined a year prior to that, video called my father and told him he had gotten tattoos. One on each shoulder of a dubstep band he likes. My dad was livid, angry, screaming, all sorts of horrible things were said and within a week he was in the hospital because of high blood pressure and what was a minor heart attack, all because he got mad at my brother for tattos he could easily cover with a shirt. \nShortly before I left for bootcamp I wanted to cut my really long hair to a pixie cut so it would be easier for me in boot camp. I asked my father and he became livid again and screamed at me, but eventually after fighting for months he let in and I got the chop, mainly because I told him if he didn't give me permission I'd do it myself. \n\nNow, last October I went and got 4 tattoos on my left forearm and have yet to tell him. I see I may be the asshole, alot of people pointed out I should tell him because he's my father and deserves to know, people say I shouldn't be scared and hide my tattos from him and all of that sort of talk. I don't have an issue with being scared of him, I'm far from home and could care less about him being mad. But I choose not to tell him because of his health reasons, I'm his little girl and he hates tattoos, I couldn't live with myself if telling him I bought MYSELF pieces of art for MY BODY lead to him being in the hospital or possibly pushing him towards his death. \n\nSo, AITAH? ######","completion":" NTA, but you shouldn't feel bad if he finds out, even if he does get sick it's not your fault. It's not healthy for you guys to have to hide parts of yourself. Your dad needs counseling, not subservient kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"My childhood friend (Gary) is marrying his fiancee (Brittany) (also a friend) next year. He has asked me to be one of his groomsmen, and I excitedly accepted. I asked him if anyone else we both know is involved, and he said that another guy we know from school is a groomsman as well. He then went on to add that he wanted our mutual friend (Fred) to be a groomsman as well.\n\nTurns out Brittany mentioned to the pastor at the church they want to get married in that Fred is a gay man, and the pastor refused to do the service if Fred is in the bridal party. So Gary and Brittany asked Fred not to be a groomsman, instead they want him to read a bible passage. To my understanding, Gary had already asked Fred to be a groomsman, and then went back on it after Brittany's conversation with the pastor.\n\nI want to talk to Fred about this, because we're very close friends, and all of us have been friends since middle school. This could break up our entire group of friends.\n\nI really want to support Fred, and I genuinely believe that the decision made by Brittany and Gary is despicable and unacceptable. I want to show Fred that I support him and that I won't accept people treating him like this. I want to show him solidarity. I also want to show Brittany and Gary that it's completely unacceptable to treat someone the way they treated Fred.\n\nWIBTA if I refused to be part of their wedding because they sided with the homophobic pastor over our life-long friend? ######","completion":" NTA, but you really need to know what Fred thinks of all this before anything else. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (25M) wife (29F)  has always been against our daughter wearing clothes she deems too \"adult\" meaning crop tops and certain shorts and skirts (NOT  all shorts\/skirts just the too short ones, unsually common for children's clothes) \n\nMy wife loves shopping for new clothes for our daughter, at this stage she has so many clothes and shoes that she has a whole  wardrobe and some under her bed, usually separated with \"casual\" clothes and \"nice\" clothes (all clothes that she outgrows end up being donated) - we've been meaning to get new summer clothes since she's outgrown hers but delivery isn't due for another month or two.\n\nMy mother decided to be wonderfully generous and get us some summer clothes, some nice dresses and skirts, but, there was a yellow off shoulder crop top in the mix.\n\nMy wife is adamant against letting our daughter wear it. \n\nI texted my mother saying we appreciated a majority of the clothes but unfortunately we found the crop top a little unsuitable so we would give it back if she could return it and if she couldn't maybe donate it, I'm sure itll be useful for somebody else.\n\nAccording to her I'm an AH for letting my wife \"dictate\" what our daughter wears and that we are being over the top so our daughter will lash out and basically judging her for getting that (calling her a bad grandma) \n\nAITA?\n\nWe told her to see if she could return it. ######","completion":" NTA, but you probably shouldn’t have told your mom anything other than, “Thank you”. I had a boy and, before and after he was born, people constantly bought him overalls. In my brain I’m like “he’s not a farmer”, but out of my mouth was , “thank you”. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?\n\nHe pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog). \n\nHe makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February. \nI asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?\n\n\nEdit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######","completion":" NTA, but you need to talk about your finances.   \n\n\nNobody likes to spend their whole income on bills, you both have your right to spend money on whatever you like, no matter how much you make. You just have to make it clear between both of you how your money is going to be distributed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sister: sis\nBrothers-in-law: bil \nMe \n\nI am renting a room in their home and am paying the agreed amount of rent on time. Some info about my sis and bil. They recently had a baby and have another on the way. They are in financial problems because they are constantly updating the house. New flooring, new granite counters, added an addition, etc. additionally, they owe a ton of money to their credit card companies because they are huge spenders. \n\nNow they need more money and are pressuring me to pay them more than the agreed amount. They can barely pay their mortgage and sometimes pay it late. Also they have been eating my food, using my supplies (toilet paper, soap,etc), I help with my niece and cleaning.\n \non top of everything I have been watching my niece for free for hours. We are all in the medical field. So 12 hour shifts, 3-5 days a week depending on the OT available. So when I watch my niece, I am watching her for 12+ hours, 3 days a week. I haven’t mentioned payment becuase we are family. \n\nBut now we are regularly fighting due to Covid workload stress and me being upset about my prepped food being taken. I’m trying to be supportive becuase they are my family but I feel unsafe whenever they threaten to evict me. I don’t have a back up plan right now.\n\nSo we are all stressed out for various reasons. AITA for fighting with them at all? Should I be more supportive during this unprecedented time? I feel like I am being taken advantage of here. ######","completion":" NTA, but you need to find somewhere else to live asap because this probably isn't a situation that's going to get better. you can try having a conversation with them about your feelings, but honestly if i were you, i'd be making other living arrangements. this doesn't sound healthy and it's not good for you to constantly be afraid of eviction when you are doing more than your part.\n\nalso, consider getting a minifridge and storing your meal prep there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately. \n\nSo now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being \"extra\" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd\/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but you might want to consider getting more food if one or the other of you regularly seems to still be hungry afterwards. \n\nYou could also try, if he takes the rest without saying anything and you end up still hungry, ask him to go get\/make you more food since he took what was left without considering your needs. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, throwaway because I don't like to post.\n\nI (21M) recently moved in with my girlfriend (21F), her friend (22F) and her gay friend (22M), while we are looking for a house, was supposed to be temporary, about 3-4 months. It has been three weeks of her gay friend making sexual comments about everything he finds a joke in.\n\nI'll die in a video game and sign \"fuck me\". Every. Single. Time. he makes sure I hear him say \"I'll be in the bedroom\", \"maybe later\", \"top or bottom\",  etc... \nI was working on Excel for my job and my girlfriend asked if I wanted to come get lunch, but I was busy and said \"I'm pretty deep in a project right now\". He yelled \"deeper, daddy\". From his bedroom.\n\nI couldn't stand it, but bit my tongue because my girlfriend likes him and he never touched me. But Saturday night we stayed in and had a few drinks watching Netflix. Her gay friend came back around midnight and opened her door while we're cuddling to talk to her. He brings up how he loves \"daddies\" and knew he was going to say something, he always calls me daddy. \"This skinny guy wanted to call him daddy, but he just doesn't have the look. [My name] has the daddy look, I'd call him daddy.\"\n\nAnd I couldn't take it anymore. I told him \"you're the type of gay people that everybody hates, shut the fuc* up\".\n\nHe instantly started crying and my girlfriend is furious with me. She knows I hate it and she brushes it off everytime. I told her that you would never let me make those kinds of comments towards her female friend. She says that's different because we're both straight, which I think is absolutely irrelevant. \n\nI can definitely see that I went too far with my comment and might wana apologize for going too far. But they all think I'm being homophobic and should remember that I'm a guest.\nI just don't think it is too much to ask to not make sexual comments towards me.\n\nAITA for yelling at my girlfriend's gay friend? ######","completion":" NTA, but you could have handled it better. You are BOTH owed an apology from each other. Hopefully it will end with him learning to have more respect. Not everyone is cool with those little games, it’s disrespectful. & OP, watch out for your girlfriend. If she didn’t stand up for you then, she’s likely pretty weak minded so don’t expect anything different going forward. She should have talked to her friend a long time ago when you first told her it made you uncomfortable. ######"}
{"prompt":"My adult daughter (25) lives at home and works full time.  She flunked out of community college twice.  She makes decent money, but instead of working on getting her own place, she has bought an expensive (relatively) car, gets acrylic nails done regularly, has her eyebrows threaded, and just bought an Apple Watch.  She has no savings, and no plans to move out.  I have three teenagers as well, and an older daughter who lives across the country.\n\nAITA for being so irritated every time she buys something extra or unnecessary? ######","completion":" NTA, but you are enabling her so you are to blame for this behavior ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if the title makes no sense, but I’ll do my best to explain it. \n\nSo basically, my friends dad always comments on things in my life but makes it like things only happen to me because I’m gay. Here’s an example: I’m studying law, her dad said that I’m studying law because “gay people like fucking bad boys” - meaning I only want to be a lawyer so I can have sex with clients. I currently have a cold sore, he said it's because I'm always sucking dick. If he finds out I'm reading a book, he'll tell her that it's \"probably a gay porno mag\". It's stupid stuff like that. \n\nBut it really annoys me. At first, it didn't, but then it didn't stop. I also don't know why my friend tells him this stuff - like me reading a book isn't something worth telling your family about. She's told me that \"he's not homophobic, he just doesn't like seeing it.\" (I know that's an assholish thing to say, that's not what I want to know). \n\nIn retaliation, I've ended up saying stuff back like \"your dad is just sad that I didn't represent him when he was in trouble with the law,\" \"I got the cold sore from him, he should probably get an STI check,\" or like \"I thought I recognised your dad on the cover of the magazine?\". He doesn't find it funny, and he calls me a dick head, or a \"poof\". My friend also knows I don't like people commenting on my sexuality, or people talking about me when I'm not there. \n\nAITA for flipping his comments to make him sound gay too? ######","completion":" NTA, but why are you still friends with this person? like, it seems as though they're telling you the hurtful things their dad said for fun or to rile you up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######","completion":" NTA, but they are. Cutting you out of family events because you have a different texting style? Are they even family if they care so little about you? I would have left every group chat without explanation years ago, and tore them a new one for being so fucking petty.\n\nOnviously their gossip means more to them than you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.\n\nMy brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat. \n\nI said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######","completion":" NTA, but they are for not allowing you to grieve. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it. \nI seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######","completion":" NTA, but there seems to be some communication problems between them and the situation is clearly delicate.\n\nGive him the ~~bank account~~  deposit information, receive his money and send it to their parents with a thank you note.\n\nAlso, you should probably talk to someone about planning on doing that via text before sending him the ~~account number~~  information he needs to send you the money. That way you have proof of your good intentions, just in case this is some kind of elaborate ruse to test your honesty and they are all just waiting for you to give the account  number to call you a thief.\n\nEDIT: Some commenters here called my attention to the fact that \"give him the bank account\" might be terrible advice, allowing for a myriad of scams. I thought it was standard everywhere to have one or two numbers that allow only for deposits and similar operations - this is how it works in Brazil and telling people those numbers is a common practice, generally regarded as safe (theoretically, a would be scammer couldn't do anything with them except giving you money). I realize this may not be clear from the way I worded my comment and I apologize for that. Neither OP nor anyone should share sensitive information that could lead to losing money or being scammed. ######"}
{"prompt":" I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme. \n\n Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, but the person who posted it on Facebook is. This is one of the first aita posts that has made me genuinely upset. They obviously know your wife is sick and they still decided to go ahead and cause drama. Also all the people who are mad are assholes too if y’all were clearly planning a wedding, and if they were smart, they should know you probably eloped for an important reason (it’s not really a new concept). Even then why does your marriage matter that much to them? It’s you and your wifes wedding not anyone else’s. If I were in that situation I would not invite the person who posted it on Facebook and maybe not even the people who contacted you angrily (unless of course they apologized to my sick fiancé). ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day. \n\nWhen she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in. \n\nAbout ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case. \n\nI want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof. \nReddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ######","completion":" NTA, but the lock is not the issue. Your parent having zero respect for your privacy and personal space is the issue. Sit down with her and make it clear you expect a closed door to be respected, and if they do actually take the door off its hinges - move out. Hell no. ######"}
{"prompt":"I should give a little backstory here: growing up, my parents were extremely wealthy. I watched my dad blow his money on a mansion, sports cars, and unnecessary purchases he made to show off his wealth. He owned a very successful and stable business, but decided to gamble it all away when he sold the company to start a new one that completely failed. We lost everything. \nWe moved out of the mansion and for the rest of my childhood and adolescence, we were so poor that we barely had money for food. I got made fun of in school for having old clothes that didn't fit me. My parents still would have cleaning people come over and clean our house and I would watch them pay them in cash as I sat there hungry. They did everything they could to keep up with their appearances while neglecting my needs. \nNow on to today, their financial situation has improved thankfully, and I make a significant amount of money: more than they are making. My dad keeps making comments about how he is so glad I'll be able to take care of them now financially as I don't  think they have anything setup for retirement. They keep making frivolous purchases and are still being irresponsible with their money. I have a lot of financial goals I want to achieve and I have not factored in paying for their living expenses in their old age. I am bitter that they blew all of their money and the money that they did have, they did not use to take care of me growing up. I have worked hard for my wealth and I do not feel as though they deserve a significant share of it. AITA for not planning to support them? ######","completion":" Nta, but tell them now not to plan on you as their nest egg. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just some important info before i start: \nMy mom is 42\nIm a 19yo, high school graduate, with extra credits and a full time job. \nMy little sister is 12\n\nOkay so WIBTA if i told my mom to fuck off about constantly bringing up university? \n\nMy entire life my mom has always had \nsomething to say about my schooling. While i was in highschool i was depressed and in an abusive relationship and even tho i might not have graduated with FANTASTIC grades, i didnt fail any classes and even graduated with extra credits. \n\nSchool has never been for me, i have bad ADHD and im a horrible procrastinator when it comes to homework. So ive been very open with that with both my parents because i dont want to waste the money when i already have a full time job with good pay that i love.  \n\nSo a few weeks ago we were sitting in the living room with my little sister and i made a joke about being smart and getting money (dont remember the joke specifically) and my mom decided to chime in and say \"just dont be stupid like your sister and go to school and get a good job\". I wanted nothing more than to lose it on her and it still hasnt stopped. She brings it up ALL the time even though she knows im happy and content with where my life is now ######","completion":" NTA, but tell her to *back* off, not to f*** off. You still live at home.\n\nAs someone that spends a lot of time with teachers, the #1 complaint I hear is about parents that refuse to accept and support the realities of their children’s futures. Most of the kids I know that went straight to work are making a ton more than the ones that went to school, got a degree, got screwed in this economy, got laid off, and are living with their parents shoulder-deep in debt.\n\nAlso, high school procrastinators are *not* built for university. You know your strengths. Just make sure you can put your money where your mouth is. Mom’s a dick for that comment so go get a job, work hard, move out, get your life on, and prove her wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie. \n\nToday I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that. \n\nI called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.\n\nObviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.\n\nThey called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her). \n\nNow they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but remember to sign out next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2\/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2\/3 maybe 7\/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism.  They  claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics. \nThe only option would be remaking the exam.\nThe problem starts here. I did not cheat, and had a hard time in the exam. Nevertheless, I got a 93. As I hate cheaters, I would like to expose them to the professor. As he have a group chat for the generation, I have taken many screenshots of thwm sending and copying others, aa well as their plans to excuse themselves from this.\nSo, WIBTA if I send them to the prof? ######","completion":" NTA, but prepare for the consequences if they figure out who snitched.  I take it this is college?  They are paying good money to not learn anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account. My 14yr old sister still uses a pacifier nightly. My mother has never taken it away from her. When my sister was in kindergarten my mom asked her uncle who “was a doctor” when will she get rid of it, because apparently my mom could not be bothered with that task, and he told her that she will grow out of it on her own. To this day my mom says “he lied to me” to place blame. \nI am in my thirties and do not live with them. I have a very close relationship with my sister but she will not listen to me when I talk about how it needs to go. I do not believe it to be my sisters fault, i think it’s my moms fault for not doing it herself. I asked my mom about it A couple times and she just says it was too difficult listening to my sister cry. Which I call bs on.\n I only want what’s best for my sister as she already has had consequences from using it for so long. I don’t mean to pressure her so much but I just cannot for the life of me figure out why my mom thinks this is ok. My sister understands the issue but I think at this point the only way she will let it go is if someone takes it away. \nSo, AITA or is my mom TA? Do you have any advice on this? My mom won’t do anything in regards to getting rid of it and I cannot convince her.\n\nEDIT: she is going to need braces now because of this, it has created a gap longwise in her mouth. Also, the pacifier does not get changed regularly. My sister does wash it regularly than goodness but has probably had her current one for a few years.\n\nEDIT: my sister and I are best friends. I would do absolutely anything for that kid. We have the exact same sense of humor and can talk about anything. I am never pressuring her rudely. ######","completion":" NTA, but only because sucking on a pacifier can be incredibly damaging to teeth, it can effect the way the roof of the mouth forms also.   As she gets older the sucking motion will cause premature wrinkling around her mouth common in people who smoke, as well as people who use straws constantly.  This is truly your mothers doing.  \n\nThe fact that your sister still uses one could be a concerning sign of emotional attachment issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.\n\n\nSo I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.\n\nI usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding\/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.\n\nSo husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.\n\nI asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing. \n\nAnd that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”\n\nNow I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######","completion":" NTA, but no offence, OP, but your husband sucks. You wake up, pregnant, at 3:45 and make ~~breakfast~~ lunch for him and the kids. Why can’t he do this himself since you say he wakes at eight in the morning? Does he work late into the night or something?\n\nAnd the fact that he had the audacity to say “why are you so lazy” when you have a single day off is outrageous. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this semester i got straight A’s and my family was proud of me and told me I could pick dinner saturday. My mother and father said i could pick anything I want and that it doesn’t matter. But you see they’ve said this to me before and then always complain about my decisions. For example, on my birthday they let me pick dinner and I wanted to try Steak and Shake do I picked there. The entire time we ate my mother and father said things like: “the fries are so small and thin, why did you pick here” “my shake isn’t milky enough, you shouldn’t have picked here” “why did you pick that burger” “this place sucks”. I didn’t respond to anything they said about it though, i just happily ate my burgers fries and shake. The next year I learned and picked a place that’s one of their favorites. Anyway, so this time after telling me I could pick dinner, I asked if we could order from a sushi place and they straight up said no and told me how I was stupid for wanting to pick it. Then the day of, my mother comes to me and said since it’s going to be father’s day we are just going to get this certain steak joint. The place is good and I like it but it wasn’t what i was going to choose. I gave my mother a confused look and just said “oh okay, well then why did you tell me i could choose dinner?” Now for the past 20 minutes she’s been very passive aggressive and telling me how I was rude. We are getting that steak joint so I don’t understand why she is mad? Was I the asshole for saying that? ######","completion":" NTA, but next time ask if instead of choosing the family dinner  you could have money to take a friend to dinner or lunch at a place of your choice.  it sounds like your choices are less expensive than theirs, and that they don't enjoy your choices anyway.  \n\nIt is not really a treat for you to get to choose if they then complain to you about your choice!\n\nEnjoy dinner with your dad though! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######","completion":" NTA, but make sure you learn this important lesson right now.   Let this be the last bit of information you share with her before sharing with social media. ######"}
{"prompt":"I lost a lot of weight (over 100lbs) in a short period of time, I understand it can take some getting used to, but I'm very tired of the comments. \n\nI am a 24 year old guy, this kind of shit doesn't usually bother me but I can't seem to go a single day at work without some comment about my weight loss. It's been non stop since we reopened after lockdown.\n\nHere are some of the rumours about me: I have cancer, I have aids, I'm on drugs. \n\nI'm tired of it. Yes I'm quite skinny now, but no one was \"concerned\" about me when I was fat! It's all fake, they don't actually care, it's just gossip to them. There are plenty other people at work that are my weight or thinner, and no one cares! \n\nA couple of coworkers seem legitimately concerned, but they were more polite. Even then I still get annoyed because my weight is quite frankly nobody's business but mine. People will bring me food from the vending machines and stare at me when I eat and it makes me nervous. I'm on a strict diet because obviously I have to MAINTAIN my weight loss, I can't just eat chocolate bars. \n\nYesterday one of the more gossipy ones, an older lady in her 50s, approached me in front of everyone telling me she was concerned I wasn't healthy and I wasn't able to do my job. \n\nI'm perfectly able to do my job. I angrily told her it was none of her business and that if there were issues with how I was doing the job someone higher up would tell me. She then asked me straight up if I was using drugs. I yelled at her \"I'm not on drugs and I don't have cancer either. Is a fat person losing weight really this shocking to you?\" I then I turned to everyone watching and said if they make one more comment I'm going to HR. \n\nSince then people have been kind of avoiding me and I wonder if I dealt with it too harshly. My only friend left at work said that people felt a bit uneasy around me and they thought I was overly aggressive. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but looking at your post history, I’d get some professional help. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep this short. \n\nSo my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along. \n\nMy sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor\/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister. \n\nThe breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still). \n\nI immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives\/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage. \n\nShe told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again. \n\nBoth my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in. \n\nAITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ######","completion":" NTA, but it might not be the best approach.   Letting your BIL stay is a safety vent, but it doesn't address the real problem.\n\nSomebody needs to get that woman into therapy.  If she's a menace to her husband, throwing objects at his head, should she really be caring for a baby?\n\nTry to get your parents on board with this idea.  Apparently you are currently \"the enemy\" in your sister's distorted world view, so your mother might be able to talk sense into her about seeking therapy.\n\nGood luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a \"full\" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.\n\nSo with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.\n\nIncluding the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to \"extra\" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).\n\nMy stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.\n\nNot marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just \"bend the rules\" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but is there a way they can participate without physically attending the ceremony, like if it was live streamed for them? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are new homeowners and moved into our first home a little less than a year ago. \n\nWe’ve had a rocky relationship with one of our neighbors from the start, an older couple— the husband is pretty chill and kind to us but the wife has been confrontational and made sure when we moved in that we knew exactly where our property ends and theirs begins. We’re in a city and our lots are about 2000 sqft each so we’re talking a matter of inches that she does not want us crossing. When we moved in, other neighbors on the street welcomed us and also warned us about her attitude and nastiness. Basically the point being that honestly I am intimidated by my neighbors and do not want to confront them directly. \n\nThey have a fire pit in their backyard that is roughly 20 feet from our house. The weather has been getting nicer so they have been using it for recreational use— just to have a fire going while sitting outside and chatting. Naturally being so close, the smoke comes right into our home so we can’t open windows and we can’t be outside in our own yard without being covered in smoke. It has even set off the smoke detectors in our house if any window is opened a crack. \n\nI checked our local laws and any fire pits require a permit and must be 75 ft away from any structure (which is impossible considering the size of our houses and our small yards), and can only be operated from January to May 1st. \n\nI called the fire department yesterday (anonymously) and within 5 minutes they were there and it was put out. I plan to call the fire department whenever their smoke gets into our house\/yard. According to local laws they will probably be fined and prohibited from having it entirely if there are multiple complaints. \n\nWIBTA for calling the fire department as many times as necessary to get my neighbors’ recreational fire pit shut down? ######","completion":" NTA, but in all likelihood if they've been doing this for years and not gotten reported, and you moved in and they suddenly were, they know it was you. That's not a reason not to do it - it's not allowed because it's a safety issue. Just be cautious, because if she's that nasty, she'll find a way to retaliate. ######"}
{"prompt":"My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######","completion":" NTA, but if your wife put her name on the account she is responsible for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI have a 14 year old son. My son has a close friends group. Lately I found out that my son was bullying a lesbian girl. I grounded him the day I found out. My son tried to tell me the lesbian girl was bothering and trying to join his friend group and no one in his group wanted to be friends with her. They tried telling a teacher that the girl was bothering them and the teacher thought the girl was doing something nice. Then my son and his friends group started calling her names and started making fun off her. I think that was a stupid excuse. My son is extremely pissed at me and refuses to talk to me after he was grounded. ######","completion":" NTA, but if the outcome you want is for your son to stop being homophobic, you're going to need to have an open conversation with him about what's going on. It may be that this chick sucks separately from being a lesbian, but that they used lesbian slurs as a way to get back at her, which isn't okay. If someone sucks, tell them they suck, don't call them a d\\*ke. But if they genuinely don't want to be friends with this girl, for whatever reason, you can't force it. You can only teach him to empathize and be kind when rejecting someone's offers of friendship. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest.\n\nFor example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that.\n\nShe has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no.\n\nShe has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it.\n\nLast night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA, But if really should have come from your parents.  It is your families tradition and all your mother has to do is put her foot down and stop the conversation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.\n\nI''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.\n\nThat was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######","completion":" NTA, but I’d be careful about transparency moving forward right now. Not that you should lie, but I’d definitely emphasize the extra work, initiatives and projects you’ve taken on. Not just so you don’t get docked pay, but so you’re not on the chopping block should push come to shove and your boss has to make cuts. Most companies except the obvious ones (grocery stores, Amazon, etc) have hiring freezes right now so getting let go and then getting another job in your industry using your skill set is likely going to be hard for a good while.\n\nYour boss sucks though, just so I’m totally clear on that point. Asking you what you’ve been doing points to a boss that isn’t aware or in the loop, and instead of docking your pay, he could’ve come up with projects for you, guidance, etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped. \n\nAm I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######","completion":" NTA, but I'm wondering if he has hyperthyroidism. My boyfriend's brothers ex did the same exact thing. She'd come to bed carrying an arm load of snacks to get her through the night. Could be something to consider checking if there's a medical cause for his constant night time eating. ######"}
{"prompt":"Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.\n\nMy parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.\n\nE is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this) \n\nAt first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals.  She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.\n\nShe adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.\n\nShe adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly\n\nShe adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.\n\nShe had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.\n\nThe list is endless, you probably get the deal.\n\nWell, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.\n\nI raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved. \n\nWell, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.\n\nSo Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ######","completion":" NTA, but I'm surprised you didn't speak up before now. 20 dead puppies is a *lot*. Regardless, it's completely justified to read her the riot act over this; it's a pattern of awful behaviour. ######"}
{"prompt":"Now before I get attacked or anything please let me clarify.\n\nI (19F) moved in with my Ex (19M) a year and a half ago, and while I had been living there it was like hell on earth, I was Verbally, Mentally abused by his parents on an almost weekly basis, and when they were not attacking me, they were attacking their own children and eachother.\n\nI got a job and worked full time, over forty hours a week but whenever I dared to spend the money I worked and earned on myself, even if it was just lunch at work I was called many vile names. All the money that I worked for went to his parents, but I was lied to about where it was going.\n\nI was told it was grocery money but there wouldn't be groceries bought, so it went to drugs. My evidence of this is his father borrowed his phone and forgot to delete a text to a random number asking for a \"Quarter Ball\" which is a measurement for Cocaine.\n\nmy playstation that I had begged my parents for for years that I finally had gotten the christmas before I moved out (moved out in Feb 2019) got pawned a week after I moved in and then got lost in the pawnshop but I was never told, but after months of asking to get it back and saying I'd even pay for it I found out it had been lost.\n\nOr when I found out my grandmother was dying I took a day off of work because I was grieving and was called a whore and a cunt and told I was fucking them over. \n\nNow that I have luckily managed to get myself out of that situation I can see how fucked up it is, but the issue is there is a minor there, who is being mentally abused by her parents on an almost daily basis. \n\nWould I be the asshole if I called the cops for a wellness check, because I could honestly keep going on all shit things I heard and experienced living in that house but it would be an 5000+ word essay. ######","completion":" NTA, but I wouldn't claim it's a wellness check, it's more like you're reporting abuse. If this is true, please report any child abuse to the cops and give them as much info as you possibly can. Any action is better than no action. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were casually chatting yesterday and he brought up that he was looking at the \/gonewild subs. I personally am okay with looking at porn and the general \/gonewild subs, but when he was looking at specifically the Asian subs I feel extremely uncomfortable. Something about the intimacy (as opposed to porn) and the resemblance to my own body threw me off. \n\nI do send him nudes whenever he asks for them and I feel bad knowing he’s jerking off to women who look so much like me.. but not me. \n\nI don’t think it’s an body-insecurity thing either, i look pretty much like the more toned girls on the sub. So redditers- AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but I would be careful. I am an Asian woman who used to date a guy that primarily “preferred” Asian porn. I watch a lot of porn too so the porn wasn’t really the issue. After being together for 3+ years I finally started to notice how he showed signs of having yellow fever. I finally broke up with him for many other reasons but the yellow fever always made me hugely uncomfortable and fetishized. After many many educational and respectful talks he could never understand why his behavior and comments that focused on my race as his primary source of attraction to me made me feel objectified. Not to mention the racism started to come out towards the end too. I would just be careful as his porn preference was such a huge indicator that he was a toxic fetishizer. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her \"so, how many years pregnant are you?\"\n\nShe has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######","completion":" NTA, but I would ask how many months instead of years and come off as if you genuinely believe she's pregnant. Congratulate her even and say you'll inform the office to plan a party. When she corrects you that she's not pregnant, show your genuine confusion as to why she's parking in those spots. Do that every day and surely she'll be annoyed enough to stop ######"}
{"prompt":"We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more. \n\nI wear a 38\" waist in jeans and an XL\/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me. \n\nShe bought me jeans in a 28\" waist and tops in a medium.\n\nShe told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me. \n\nI mentioned once to her that when I was around 16\/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.\n\nShe never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me \"happy birthday you fat fuck\" lol..\n\n\nI think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway. \n\nOur sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her. \n\nI tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me. \n\n\nAm i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######","completion":" NTA, but I think you need to discuss this. This is NOT A GIFT. It's a really terrible thing as a \"gift\" and I think you should be done here. And, leave the clothes for the guy she thinks she bought them for. ######"}
{"prompt":"(24M)\n\nYesterday afternoon, a new neighbour in our flat knocked on our door. It was a young woman and she asked if we had any sugar at home she could borrow to use for her baby's milk for the day, since she can't go out to buy any and her husband is working.\n\nI told her that I had some sugar left, but it's only enough for the apple pie I was planning to make that evening. She said that she really needs it since her 2 year old baby refuses anything else to eat, and that it would be a kind gesture if I could give up my apple pie for another day.\n\nI kindly refused and I mentioned that if she really needs it, I can go out and buy it for her **(I meant with her money)** but I'm not looking to give my sugar away.\n\nShe wasn't happy and sarcastically thanked me as she was leaving. I just closed the door and continued about my day.\n\nI'm always one to doubt my previous actions and I question myself as to whether I was right or wrong, so I told my parents.....and they told me I was selfish for not helping someone out and that they expected better from me as a gentleman.\n\nI'm here for judgement. Was I selfish? Was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, but I think it would've been easier to just say \"sorry, I don't have any extra sugar\". She didn't need to know about your pie or your plans for sugar. \n\nAlso, where do you live that people feed babies sugar milk? That seems whack to me ######"}
{"prompt":"I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back. \n\nIgnoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair. \n\nBlocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media. \n\nThis is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######","completion":" NTA, but I keep a few pictures of \"degloved\" penises to send them. Very NSFL, Google at your own risk.\n\nEdit to add: If they ask why you would send that say \"Sorry, I thought we were trying to gross each other out\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects. \n\n\nI normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).\n\n\nWe were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.\n\n\nBefore the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.\n\n\nTurned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.\n\n\nShe was and is still angry at me for my \"shitty suggestion\", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but I just wanted to say that I do the same thing. My Dr diagnosed me as having an eating disorder. She calls it binging and restricting.\n\nI now fast intermittently. If I know I’m going out for a big dinner I’ll skip breakfast and lunch, but just for that day. Most day’s I’ll only eat between the hours of 12pm and 5pm. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.\n\nAnyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.\n\nWe laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are \"bullying\" the kids. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but I have to admit, I don't much care for your assessment that blended families always suck. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my friend is hyper obsessed with his appearance. Gym 5x a week. Strict diet. He dresses well. And he expects someone who meets this standard. So far so good right? Well he also wants someone who is pretty. Really pretty. He always decides he wants the most attractive girl at the bar. He always asked out 10\/10s in college(we aren’t in college anymore but when we were he’d always do that). Here’s the thing: he’s under the impression that he’s a model. He’s not, he’s in his 20s and balding, he’s 5’5”. His face really isn’t all that... shall we say “conventionally attractive”? Point is, he’s done what he can with his appearance but he’ll never be a stud. He’s had one girlfriend in his life but refuses to change to get more girlfriends more often. Now he’s saying some incel stuff like “woman are all [fill in the blank]” and on some level I understand after years of rejection he might be bitter. But that’s no excuse to be sexist, especially when he refuses to acknowledge that his “type” is extra picky. Guess what a 10\/10 will want another 10\/10. When you’re that pretty you get to say “too short too fat too this too that”. He doesn’t want to date girls with unconventional faces or different body types besides fit. I set him up with my girlfriend’s friend. He ghosted her. He said she wasn’t as pretty as my girlfriend so why would he settle for silver. I got angry at him but we made up after he said that. My patience is wearing thin and I just want to explain that he’s not going to ever get models in bed every day and life is unfair but he should focus on aspects of a girl he can get like her personality or her interests. Would I be the asshole if I told him to be realistic with his standards? ######","completion":" NTA, but I dont think telling him to lower his standards is the answer. It may be important to call him out saying he has unrealistic standards, but I think more so he needs to be called out on the fact that he isnt entitled to anything and women dont owe him anything. If he's getting rejected all the time, it's something about him, not the women. \n\nIf he's not going to respect women, is going to focus purely on appearance (though I get that you're attracted to what you're attracted to), and is going to basically look at them as objects\/a prize to be won\/etc, of course he's not going to be in a relationship because no one is going to tolerate his bullshit. \n\nAs a society we really need to teach the idea that romantic relationships are not necessary and that it's important to learn to be happy outside of romantic partnerships. Like - it's okay to want that, but the fact that so many people think they need to be in a relationship contributes to the number of unhealthy and unhappy relationships ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up. \n\nMost of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.\n\nShe doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.\n\nThe thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social\/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######","completion":" Nta, but I don't think there's much you cam do to change the situation. She sounds like she needs therapy. You quite literally are not qualified to help her ######"}
{"prompt":" I have a 16 year old daughter, who has recently begun her first real relationship. He’s a nice boy and I like him a lot, though I get the impression his family is much more conservative than I am. His parents wanted to meet my husband and I so we had them over for dinner last night and I did get some judgy vibes from the mother at least. My daughter is not my husband’s child. We went on vacation once with my former best friend and after a night of drinking we decided to switch partners. My husband had a vasectomy before I met him, so when I got pregnant I knew who the father was.\n\nMy daughter does know her bio dad, but he choses not to be a big part of her life. She has a great relationship with my husband, but she calls him by his first name. He never wanted kids and I was afraid he’d leave me, so out compromise was that I don’t ever expect him to be a real parent to her. I’m just glad they bonded. It’s a little unconventional, but we’re all happy.\n\nAnyway dinner was going alright, but I mentioned something about how the pandemic had forced us to cancel our plans for our twentieth anniversary, and I didn’t think of it at the time, but obviously they did the math and the mother asked me about it, so I was honest. She looked very uncomfortable, but I guess a lot of people would be, and then she asked how I could say it in front of my daughter. I asked if I was supposed to lie to her, and the woman said she didn’t understand how I could be so upfront about cheating on my husband. That really pissed me off, because obviously I didn’t cheat so I told her to get out.\n\nMy daughter is mad at me, because she’s 16 and everything I do is mortifying, and because she is worried about her relationship, but I tried to explain it nicely to this woman. Also I feel like I’m not an asshole because she shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but I’ll let you decide. ######","completion":" NTA, but I am confused:\n>our twentieth anniversary\n\nYour daughter is 16, so what prompted asking the mother asking about the daughter's paternity? Did the mother know about the vasectomy? ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my friend's account btw for obvious reasons.\nMy little sis (10) is usually forced to go to birthday parties she doesn't want to when she's invited. She can be selectively social &amp; only likes hanging out with some kids she likes. \n\nMy mom (43) was invited to an event where a bunch of moms from my sister's school gather &amp; gossip, play games, dance, etc. Kids were also invited &amp; there were not going to be the few bffs that my sis hangs out with. She knew she had to go as mom was going to take her anyway and worked up a little bit of an excitement.\n\nHowever, my mom started picking out her clothes for her and told her she was wearing a green turtle neck that she knows she hates. My mom loves that top on her &amp; even when she protested, my mom told her she was wearing it and it was final. My sister screamed &amp; cried as she didn't want to wear it and thought she looked ugly in it. She ended up wearing it and cried the whole way there.\n\n4 months have passed and this came up in a conversation today. My mom was talking about how my sis doesn't listen to anything she says and I told her she could f*ck off. I had seen my sis that day scrubbing her face that day trying to not feel\/look like sh*t to make up for the hideous top. \n\nMy parents call a family meeting and told me I was being disrespectful as a daughter (I'm 21 btw) and I should apologise to my mom for my behaviour. AITA here &amp; should I cave? ######","completion":" NTA, but I am biased and love how protective you are about your sister.\nThere's a bigger problem at hand: your mom forcing her to be social when that's not her personality. It's going to continue to create strife, and you need to approach your mom *calmly* to address it with her (after checking with your sister). Otherwise, it'll strain their relationship long term. ######"}
{"prompt":"Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m about ready to jump out of this relationship but for the sake of my sanity I want to ask on here so I know if I’m truly the arsehole or not. \n\nMy girlfriend has a 14 year old son. I try hard to foster a good relationship with him especially because my old man was nowhere to be seen when I was growing up. He is usually disrespectful to me and plays up the fact that I’m with his mum but am not his father. \n\nBy all rights everyone in her family (mum \/ dad etc) has acknowledged her son needs a councillor and help because his behaviour is THAT obvious (more so in front of other people he’s rude to me) but she has always maintained I need to ‘deal’ with her sons attitude to me because ‘he just wants to feel like he’s got control’. I tried hard to overlook the disrespect and maintain good ties but it’s getting harder and harder as her son gets older. \n\nGirlfriend and I went out into my garden for a fag. Girlfriends son decided to barge past and start breaking the shed in my garden. Why, I have no fucking idea. He says he was bored. I told him to stop being a twit. He looked at me, smirked, said you’re not my dad and you can’t tell me what to do. \n\nI looked over at my girlfriend since he normally saves that line for when she’s not around and she simply ignored him. \n\nI snapped at her to sort her son out since I’m not his dad and went inside. I’ve just had enough. She came in raging and screaming that I need an attitude adjustment and that Im a total cunt. ######","completion":" NTA, but I also think you need to jump ship. If your girlfriend won’t react when her son acts this way towards you now, chances are that will never change. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my baby bro(15) recently told me that he wants to come out to the parents and I immediately shut him down for it. Our neighborhood and family is strictly conservative and I know for a fact that his ass is getting disowned and kicked out if he does. Our country's childcare system is so messed up that it would be safer for someone to stay with their abusive parents than to be handed over to the state and I just barely started University so there's no way I can financially support him by myself. I know it must be hard for him to keep it to himself and a few close people but I just can't let him come out to my parents while still being so heavily dependent on them. Advice on any other way that I could handle this (if there is)would be much appreciated. ######","completion":" NTA, but how long till he moves out? You should help him form a plan, and teach him to be careful of who to trust. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my Bf been together for 4 years we have our own place but the funny thing is 2 of his friends are roommates who live right next to us. My sister came by last week so I could watch my niece (7 months) while she went to work but my Bf came out the room in nothing but his underwear my sister was rightly embarrassed and left quickly I told him that he can't do that and he should at least wear pants and doesn't have to wear a shirt. He told me he refused to be uncomfortable in his own house. I tried to talk it out but he brushed it for fine. His friends come over in the living room just talk I come out the room with the tighest shirt i own and his favorite pair of panties he likes me to wear and fix a PP &amp; J sandwich (you can still see the kitchen from the living room) I can feel the death glare in the back of my hard and walked back to our room. After that he sent to boys home and hell broke lose  \n\nAITA?? ######","completion":" NTA, but how does underwear work when you need a fucking pickup truck to cart around your balls of steel? ######"}
{"prompt":"I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.\n\nSo my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk. \n\nThe problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried \" Love you too, not now Potato\" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.\n\nI always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.\n\nWhen I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day. \n\nI don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but he’s showing you where his priorities are. The fact that his friend can only play video games during that time is more important than you wanting to spend time with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently found out that the ring my fianceè proposed to me with is the same ring he used several years ago to propose to a girl he ended up not marrying. She didn't say no, but she left him like two weeks before their wedding. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but all I can think about is them when I look at the ring, not us. \n\nWIBTA if I asked if we could pick out a different ring together, something that was for us instead? ######","completion":" NTA, but he is. It seems like he lied to you about where the ring was from because he knew you wouldn't accept having it. It's not unreasonable for you to want your own. ######"}
{"prompt":"So very stupid situation here but I would rather share my frustrations with strangers than shared friends...\n\nMy wife is struggling with her perception with her figure, mentioning a couple times a day that she is getting fat and to not look at her fat rolls (she is by no means fat). So I suggest that we go to the store together and plan a couple healthy meals and specifically to meal prep some healthy lunches for her to bring to work.\n\nSo we go and buy a good chunk of healthy foods and I start cooking (I do 95% of the cooking) and I spend about 3 hours making healthy low carb meals for her to bring to work. We probably spent about 80 dollars on a weeks worth of food for her and make some of her favorite healthy meals for lunches.\n\nSo as the week starts out shes taking her lunches to work and seems pretty happy with them. Come Friday, I notice there were still 2 lunches in the fridge (I had prepped four lunches) and I asked if everything was ok with them and she said that they were great but that the guys at her office were getting lunch for each other (this is common and usually isn't healthy) and that they had asked her the at the end of the shift if she would like something for the next day to which she had said yes.\n\nTold her I was glad she was bonding and that we would just eat them for dinner that night. I was a little annoyed but didn't mention anything.\n\nSo that next Monday she brings back the tupperware from the other two lunches and one of them has her whole lunch in it! I got pretty annoyed and told her that we weren't going to be spending our money on her expensive health food if she wasn't going to be eating it and spending more money to go out and eat and that I didn't appreciate wasting my day off cooking if she wasn't going to eat it.\n\nShe seemed to feel pretty bad about it and clammed up and didn't want to talk about it further when I tried to apologize and explain my thoughts in a cooler moment (I didn't yell but was visibly annoyed). ######","completion":" NTA, but has happened to me too. For reasons I cannot explain the home prepared food is never as enticing as the other choice...  And there is guilt that goes with it, of course. So when you ask about it, she doesn't know what to say.\nThe next step, if pressed, will probably be to dump it out at work and bring the empty container home. She's not doing that.\nSo somehow this just needs to be a choice, not something that causes guilt. Is freezing the portion of food an option, so they would last longer? Otherwise I would just drop it for now, see if she seeks it out... ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in. \n\nBecause of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.  \n\nI wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the \"ruckus\" that goes on every day.  \n\nThere are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.\n\nI feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######","completion":" NTA, but carefully follow the laws regarding eviction in your locality.  In some places landlord has to jump through hoops.  If you have to physically have them removed, you definitely want a law enforcement officer along for that.  People can become violent or destructive to property. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I'm currently living on the other side of the planet. With all the quarantine stuff, my mom's been actually genuinely worried about the family's well being, so she and my step-dad have organized a little video meeting every day where my step-dad shares a piece of the Bible and comments on it.\n\nI should clarify that I'm 26, gay, atheist and I have a degree on Philosophy. Former Christian. My parents are not okay with any of the previous points. Except perhaps for my age.\n\nI agreed to the meetings bc I felt like it would be a nice thing to do for my mom since he genuinely sounds worried. At first it was fine. Boring, but fine. However, since about a week ago, something has started to annoy me.\n\nThere have been many, too many mentions of homosexuality being a sin, a sign of the end of times; or quotes from Philosophers that get shut down with an absolute dumbass argument; or mentions of apostates burning in hell.\n\nAnd you may think this is standard religious stuff, but I know my parents far better than that.\n\nSo, today I got sick of it and I shot back.\n\nMy step-dad talked about Genesis, I questioned every single thing he brought up; he mentioned the ark and the flood, I shot back with scientific evidence; he mentioned Newton, I pulled his biography; he questioned Voltaire, I argued back; he claimed \"all bodies emmit light\" and I obviously shot that down immediately, not just bc it simply isn't true, but also bc he's mentioned several times he doesn't believe in the four elemental forces (despite being a retired Nuclear Medicine Physician).\n\nNeedless to say the call ended abruptly and in an unfriendly manner.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, but best to decline any future meetings like this. I might also send a polite message stating that while these meetings started out harmless enough and you didn't mind taking part in them to be involved in the family, they have seemed to have taken a judgemental and targeted turn, which you will not tolerate. I wouldn't get into any future debates or arguments, just be clear, you will not tolerate it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a senior broadcast producer, and our manager just announced that we would be welcoming a new team member next week. However, when I heard his name, I internally panicked because I used to work with him in my previous company.\n\nI was then an associate producer, and he was a senior associate. His biggest problem was his attitude. He was by no means my boss, it just so happened that he has more experience than me, but we have the same duties. However, he always liked bossing around everyone without the \"senior\" title. He's always delegating duties that were initially assigned to him by our actual boss.\n\nHe's also gay, which I initially had no problems with. However, he flirted with a lot of guys in the office, even straight ones with girlfriends and wives. It got so intense to the point where he sent unsolicited dick pics to some of us and we threatened to report him to HR if he didn't stop, which he eventually did.\n\nLastly, he was the kind of obnoxious, overachieving, credit-grabbing person who would do anything to get his name above everyone else. To be fair, he's really good at his job, but it really irked everyone in the office because of his attitude. He was one of the reasons why I left that job.\n\nNow, I'm planning on telling some of my friends in my current work about him. When I \"warn\" them though, I'm pretty sure that the news would travel fast with office gossip. It has been three years since we last encountered each other, but everything still feels \\~fresh\\~.\n\nSo, WIBTA if I told my current coworkers about this person we're about to work with?\n\nEDIT: A lot of replies are saying he may have changed. I left the company in 2017. He just left last month. I talked to some of my friends who still work there if he's changed, and they're adamant that he didn't. They said that before he left, he's bragging about how this new job offered him a much higher salary. ######","completion":" NTA, but be prepared to back up each and every allegation with witnesses - if he ends up misbehaving or gets dismissed for any reason, there may be a suit and everything you’ve said will be on trial.  He may also accuse you of discrimination and\/or creating a hostile work environment, and you would need to be prepared to produce evidence for everything you’ve said in a bulletproof way.  \n\nHonestly it seems like you might be better off telling only your boss and HR, right now, before he arrives, out of concern for the work environment and so that they know to be on the lookout for issues, waiting for him to misbehave and then if that happens, taking it from there.  Telling your coworkers up front may be perceived as trying to stir hostility rather than protecting yourself or others. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me. \n\nAll of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.\n\nIf I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.\n\nWIBTA if I pointed it out? ######","completion":" NTA, but be prepared for any possible back lash that my occurrence from your siblings\/parents. And be sure to not sound accusatory, just state how you feel and don’t word in a way that makes it sound like your yelling at them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that \"I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days\". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######","completion":" NTA, but as others have said he may be working from home.  It would be nice to find out and to agree to some working hours for the renovation (if he won’t compromise, then ignore him). ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? Last night a girl I don't know very well posted on social media asking if anyone had a specific converter for connecting a DSLR camera to a computer for sale. Price was her big concern.  I happen to be a professional photographer\/videographer and I've made this type of connection hundreds of times with and without the converter she was looking. This is literally the field I worked in for 15+ years.  \n\nI sent her a message that pretty much just said \"Hey! That specific converter is a bit pricey, you might want to consider a couple free\/cheap alternatives that don't require a converter. I'd be happy to help you get it set up.\" She said that she didn't think it would work because of her camera and I just said \"I thought the same with mine too but that camera works just fine with this software\" and sent her a couple links to the software then thought nothing more of it. \n\nVery soon after I answered her questions she made a post that was definitely targeted at me about \"mansplaining\" technology to her. Am I the asshole here? Did I do something wrong? ######","completion":" NTA, but are you sure that post was about you? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all. So I'm really looking for help.\n\nAbout five months ago, I had a minor car accident where it was my fault. I moved forward at a junction, realised the car in front of me hadn't moved and skidded on wet ground when I tried to stop. My car actually had more damage then hers.\n\nThe problem came when she mentioned she was pregnant. Right at the end I wished her good luck with the baby and she said 'if I still have one after this'. I am someone who has a condition that makes me more prone to having a miscarriage, so that upset me. Still, we exchanged details, I tried to put it from my mind.\n\nA few days after the accident, she texts me and says she's lost the baby. That completely broke me emotionally. I had to leave work that day. Multiple people told me it wasn't my fault. It's been in my head throughout everything that was going on.\n\nNow to today. I was at the supermarket this morning, and recognized her in the aisle ahead of me... obviously pregnant. After a few minutes, I went over to her and greeted her. I could tell she recognized my face and couldn't place me. So I told her: \"I'm the woman you had a car crash with and then told you lost your baby. Congratulations on the miracle regrow, by the way.\" She instantly looked panicked and walked away fast.\n\nI really want her to have some repercussions for this. I'm tempted to contact her insurer (I still have the information on my phone) to make them aware. But I feel like that would make me an AH. So Reddit... WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA, but also a waste of your time. Since she didn’t have a miscarriage, your insurance didn’t pay out anything towards it (medical records would’ve been required). She said that because she was pissed off and either trying to be nasty or get money out of you directly. So, if you feel the need, go for it, but it won’t change anything financially. Honestly, you catching her unaware is probably the best revenge. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quarentine is making us pathetic y'all.\n\nI have a killer headache and was laying on the couch watching something on Disney plus with the only tv in our house.\n\nMy SO asks me if he can play on the PS4 with his friend. I was in the middle of an episode and told him no, I was watching something.\n\nSome quick background here, he plays this game with his friend every night for several hours, and even plays all day sometimes (on the one tv in the house). 99% of the time, I don't care and will stop what I'm doing so he can play. I have other things to do and even like watching sometimes. But this time I didn't feel good and just wanted to watch tv. \n\nI honestly feel like it was unfair of him to try to demand the tv while I was in the middle of something. He'll have all night and his friend will be there later too. He ended up telling me I was being selfish and didn't know how to compromise, which he knew would upset me, and now he has the damn tv because he made me feel bad. He says I should have just given him the tv and watched something on the computer instead. The point wasn't that I wanted to watch something, it was that I wanted to use the tv and don't think I should have had to stop what I was doing just so he could play, since he'll play later too.\n\nAITA for not wanting to stop in the middle of my episode and give him the tv? ######","completion":" NTA, but also (and I mean this in kindness) stand up for yourself. Why would you let him basically bully you into giving up the tv so he can play video games? ######"}
{"prompt":"I (36M) have a 17 year old son, “Trent.” He’s a really kind and bright kid, but he’s been making some bad choices this year. Last fall, he got ISS for smoking a blunt with his friend in the schools’ maintenance shed. They apparently broke in, damaging the door. \n\nNow, my son has a used Sentra that I bought for him. He pays a little bit towards the insurance and gas, and he takes it to school in the mornings. Back in late February before the lockdown, I was cleaning out my car and decided to vacuum his too. I found a large bag of weed and some gummies in his truck under some dirty clothes. There was also a pipe. \n\nI was pretty pissed, and I disposed of them and took back his car until I could trust him again. He kicked up a fuss about getting to school, but I told him to walk. The school is only two miles and my state has mild winters. \n\nWell, the virus shut down his school soon after, so he only really walked to school for a couple times. I told him I’d consider giving the car back once life resumes, but if i find drugs again, I’m calling the police and considering an inpatient facility. \n\nAITA? Some might say I was too harsh, but I just want my son to be safe. I got his mom pregnant when we were 18, and I want him to have a chance at a better life then I had. ######","completion":" NTA, but a word of caution. Inpatient facilities are for addictive substances, which marijuana chemically isn’t. You can get psychologically addicted to anything but weed doesn’t develop a physical dependency in the user. I really caution you against putting your kid in an environment where they will potentially be exposed to users of much, much more dangerous and life altering substances over something so small. I think getting the cops involved also doesn’t really fall in line with your idea of him having a better life. If he gets tagged with a possession charge otherwise because he isn’t following your rules that’s one thing- but you’d be setting him up for the charge yourself to make a point, and I think that is misguided. \n\nYou don’t have to like or agree that weed is okay, and you can certainly not want it in your house or around your possessions. That is totally your right and punishing your kid for breaking your rules by taking away privileges is totally in bounds. But you’re talking about escalating this in ways that could change the landscape of his life, and that is a dangerous game you’re playing. Think about it this way- if weed really is a gateway drug then he’s opened the gate. Do you really want him, a still impressionable teen, in a facility or a holding cell with people who’ve walked through the gate? ######"}
{"prompt":"So today my boyfriend and I were talking and I mentioned that a homeless guy peed in my driveway. I then said that I wished I had the ability and the confidence to pee in someone’s driveway(as a joke obviously). He then said that there’s no reason I can’t, just do it.\n\nI asked how he proposed I do that without getting naked in the street, and he said I could just pull down my pants a little and aim forwards. The conversation continued like this in a stupid way until he finally said something about how women pee out of the clit. I burst out laughing and said that I didn’t think he was an idiot(also as a joke).\n\nHe then got really pissed off and hung up. I texted him and he said he was mad that I called him an idiot. I mean come on, really? Who thinks women pee out of the clit? Who even told him that? He’s 20, not 12!\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, both women and men both have urethras. But in all honesty, you'd be surprised just how ignorant some people are about anatomy. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.\n\nRecently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, because your action was justified. \nBuilding up for years being a mother to your brother. Seeing her being a mom to other children. Basically ignoring you ever existed. I'm sure it brought you to tears and anger. Idc what anyone say I feel you were in the right . ######"}
{"prompt":"For background information, I(16F) didn’t grow up around my dad(39M) much, but moved in with him for about a year and a half. During that year, I never told anyone what had happened, so he didn’t know. But basically something very traumatizing happened when I went out at night time, that’s all the detail I’m willing to give on here.\n\nBefore all that, I already had problems with germs but it wasn’t really a big deal. After that happened, I asked my dad to stop touching me at all. No hugs, no cuddling (he’s very physically affectionate), not even handshakes. He didn’t take it too well. He said okay the first time though.\n\nNot even a day later, he was right back to normal. It was just me and him living together, so I couldn’t get another adult figure to talk to him. I asked him once again about a week later to stop touching me, but he said that he gets that I don’t like it, but that he’s going to keep doing it. I tried explaining that I have a fear of being touched, and that it’s not some stupid “I’m a teenager so I don’t want to show affection” type of thing. I tried to suggest other ways to show affection and said that I know it’s hard at first but if we just practice then it’ll feel normal. He said that I was just being moody, but I didn’t drop it for the rest of the time I lived with him.\n\nI never told him what happened because when I talked to him about another situation he didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t say it but he had the attitude of “You shouldn’t have made such a fuss”.\n\nThe thing that I think upset him the most was that I let some people touch me. I was okay with my boyfriend and my mom touching me, but anyone else (older guys especially) freaked me out. Even my little sister knows not to touch me. \nHe probably felt like I was only targeting him though.\n\nAm I the ass? I feel like at the time I didn’t have a choice because it really freaked me out, and still does. But I feel like I really hurt him. ######","completion":" NTA, because you should get to decide who touches you, but also start looking at therapy options. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL)\n\nSo my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google. \n\nSo I did..\n\nAnd I was honest..\n\n4\/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously \n\nAnd I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager.\n\nI got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review..\n\nWhy ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK? \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, ballsy of them to straight out ask for a review. The point of reviews is to tell others what to expect. 4\/5 isn’t bad, too bad they have a crappy manager, they should look into fixing that situation if they want 5 stars and better reviews. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I have a cat. Her name is Kitty, she's a beautiful little crossbreed and my entire life revolves around her. When she passes, I genuinely don't know how I'll cope.\n\nAnyway, my sister also has a cat. His name is Taz, and she loves him more than life itself. She's autistic, and he's very very good with it. Sensory overload? He'll calm her down immediately. She's crying? He'll nuzzle her and often times grab my parents for her. But he's also very fat. And they just keep feeding him. My sister is obsessed with him, and she will feed him whatever he wants. She doesn't understand that she's hurting him, and I don't want to upset her by telling her. \n\nMy parents know. Taz's breathing is getting awful, he can't just very well, and despite his young age can't play for more than five minutes without needing a rest. \n\nI'm genuinely worried for his health, and my parents also feed him whatever he wants, and they do the same with my cat. She has her own medical problems, that will probably shorten her life span. I don't want to make it any shorter. \n\nI have told them that they're killing him by feeding him constantly. They tell me I'm being cruel, and just trying to scare my sister, which is literally the opposite of what I'm doing. They also refuse to stop feeding my cat when she wants it. She looses weight stupidly fast, so it's not too dangerous, but still worries me. \n\nThey said if I'm so worried, I can just up Kitty's exercise (which I am doing), and that I need to stop worrying about Taz because he's 'fine'.\n\nI don't want my sister to loose her life line quicker than she has to, but apparently I'm just worrying about nothing because he's only 'a little' overweight. \n\nHe doesn't look that big, but he's gaining, and fast. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\n(Once again, I'm awful with wording so just ask if I don't make any sense.) ######","completion":" NTA, ask them maybe to go see a vet together (with your parents), a professionnal advice might be more powerful to them ? A fresh start with a professionnal point of view,  to whom you can explain everything about the cats diets, we can't really judge from reddit ! ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a retail shop \/ deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you \/ stares you down and says something to the effect of \"you're going to give me a good portion right?\" Hes a bigger muscular guy.\n\nHes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive \/ intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.\n\nFinally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a \"good portion.\" He said that I \"did want to do that.\" I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.\n\nHe tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######","completion":" NTA, as the owner its your job to make sure your employees feel comfortable and safe. He made them feel threatened for doing their job and definitely didn't deserve to be there. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are both in our early 20s, together for 2 years and live together \n\nHis work schedule is a standard mon-Thursday 8-5. We usually go to bed at very reasonable hours and get good amounts of sleep. \n\nHe used to smoke weed in high school\/college but stopped when he got a job that required drug testing. He recently got a new job that doesn’t test so he started smoking again. \n\nI have nothing against smoking, but I do have an issue with how it’s changed our lives with each other. He will smoke as soon as he comes home from work, he’ll play some video games, we’ll eat dinner and then he falls asleep. For the past few weeks he’s been falling asleep between 7pm and 9:30pm. The other day he fell asleep right after dinner at 6:30. \n\nThe problem is, between dinner and bedtime was our time to hang out with each other. We would watch a movie or hang out or do naughty things. We haven’t done any of that lately because he’s sleeping so early. \n\nThe next morning he will wake up groggy and drowsy because he’s sleeping so much. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he says that it’s not because of the weed and if he is sleeping early it’s because he needs it. I told him it’s not normal for him to get 12 hours of sleep and then be tired again at 7pm. Also this didn’t start until he started smoking again. \n\nNow he thinks I’m mad about the weed and I’m sincerely not I just hate the fact that we don’t get any time together anymore and I’m getting very frustrated. AITA for being mad about this? ######","completion":" NTA, as someone who spent a lot of their younger years smoking, I can confirm that weed does make you super sleepy. When I don't smoke, I sleep an average of 6.5-8.5 hours and I'm perfectly rested. If I smoke, I can easily sleep for 10-15+ hours and still feel tired. It also stops me being social as it makes me super sleepy (even the non sleepy types of grass). I stopped smoking due to the issues with sleep. The stone over grogginess the next day was affecting my attention and I ended up getting to the point where I couldn't sleep without a joint. He's prioritising getting high over spending time with you, whereas he should be taking a night or two off smoking to stay alert and chill with you. ######"}
{"prompt":". Just shoes. At target getting our 1 1\/2 yo son sandals. Husband points out a geometric dark blue pair and I point out a plain pair with silver sparkles. He said they are for girls. I strongly disagree for the reason of they are nothing more the something to keep our feet from touching the hot dirty ground. He goes to say that they are seen as shoes for girls. And even if our son may like she shiny ones better he (husband) would prefer the geometric blue ones. AITA for telling him he is being sexist because they are just shoes? ######","completion":" NTA, as long as your son actually preferred the sparkle shoes and you weren't choosing them in some lame attempt to appear woke. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife\/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.\n\nRecently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.\n\nNot too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.\n\nWhen I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.\n\nLater, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.\n\nHe told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######","completion":" NTA, as long as you were polite. it's okay to not want to be around certain people that doesn't make you an asshole. However this will probably cause the relationship you have with your father to deteriorate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all,\n\nI’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities\/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism\/ADHD\/etc.\nI have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.\n\nOne of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged\/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.\n\nJ is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.\n\nI decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.\nShe immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.\nI got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA, as long as you were gentle in your delivery, but nothing in your post makes me think you came off as insensitive or inappropriate. it's an important concern to bring up, for the sake of the kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I will try to keep this as concise as possible. \n\nMy wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.\n\nI cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.\n\nMore recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######","completion":" NTA, as far as I'm concerned. You've always done the cooking, that hasn't changed; she just doesn't want to eat what you're cooking now. She could cook for herself or order things from amazon or home delivery groceries or whatever if it's that big of an issue for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(25f) recently had a child and my husband(29m) didn’t show up until about an hour after I had given birth.\n\nI asked why he took so long to get here and he told me he had to help his friend clean their garage and that he planned to be here after it was done. I got furious at him for prioritizing someone’s clean garage over his wife going into labor.\n\nHe says that he doesn’t see it as a big deal and says that he feels like he shouldn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I was really hurt by that comment and I’m not sure if I should have been mad. AITA ######","completion":" NTA, as a guy currently sitting next to my wife in Labor and Delivery this is just insane. How did get his head so far up his ass that he thinks that his friends garage matters at all. Going through labor is both tough and hard and as the wife you should be supported in any way you possibly need. He needs a major correction as to what matters in life.. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me [16M] and my girlfriend [16F] have been together for 1 year. We drove seperately to a small party 2 months ago. Her parents were out of town. The party was going well. We didn't realize there'd be alcohol there but there was. When I saw her start drinking I decided to stay sober so I could drive us both home. She proceeded to drink a decent amount and got drunk. She usually doesn't drink.\n\n\nWhen the party was ending I told her to come in my car and I'd drive us back to her house and she said ok. Some of the girls at the party saw me planning to drive her and flipped out, saying I shouldn't be trusted with a drunk girl. I explained I just didn't want her to drive and would get her home safely. We aren't 21, I don't want her to get a DUI, and I don't want to risk her or others safety. They know I'm her boyfriend. One of the girls insisted on being the one to drive her.\n\n\nI didn't know her all that well (and neither does my gf) and didn't know if she was really sober so I said no and told my gf lets go, and we walked to my car as those girls yelled at me.\n\n\nWhen we got home I gave her some water and then guided her to her bed. We then fell asleep. I've slept over before and  her parents were always fine with that.\n\n\nIn the morning she was hung over and I took care of her. She apologized for drinking too much and thanked me. Later in the day she went to pick up her car from her friend\/the host of the party. The host was not one of the girls who got upset at me during the party.\n\n\nThe next day, one of the girl's who were upset at me from the party texted me. They said the host of the party told her me and my gf slept in the same bed. The girl said this proves I couldn't be trusted. blocked her number. \n\n\nI told my girlfriend all of this. She told me she told the girls I did nothing wrong, but they told her she wouldn't be able to remember if I did do anything wrong. \n\n\nShould I have just let one of the girls drive her so I didn't seem suspicious? ######","completion":" NTA, and your girlfriend doesn't think so either so that should be what matters. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.\n\nSo this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.\n\nA month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.\n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and you know better than I do that is not over.\n\nYour family will not just drop this.\n\nPlease take extra care, put your passport somewhere hidden and safe so you can't be easily taken out of the country. Let friends know what happened.\n\nIf you are fully ghosting the family, consider moving and give absolutely no one in your family your address. \n\nGood luck and be safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house \"what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?\" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.\n\n I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying \"the experiment was over\" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated \"I'm 18\" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######","completion":" NTA, and you can cure this habit of barging in on you easily, simply start doing it to them, your sister is on the phone; barge in, your mums having a nap; in you go. And make sure to always have something irrelevant or pointless to do or say when you do it. In all seriousness I would make this a hill to die on, either you get to lock the door or they get to knock and respect it if you decline to answer. If your mum is not in agreement, you barr the door with your dresser.  And the \"what if there's a fire\" excuse is bullshit! Internal standart doors are made of paper, if your mum is a volunteer firefighter, she's more than capable of getting through it! Or she shouldn't be a firefighter. This is about controlling you, nothing else! ######"}
{"prompt":"13M. \n\nMy Dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Jess, started spending the night recently. Before he met her, every night, I’d lay in my dad’s bed with my head on his chest. He’d stroke my hair and we’d talk for about an hour before I went to bed. I did this the first few days and she didn’t say anything until about an hour ago. She asked me to please stop doing it when she’s around because the affection should go to her when she’s here, but it’s okay to do it when she’s gone. She told me that I made her feel like she wasn’t even there and my dad didn’t care about her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and that was extremely inappropriate for her to say to you.  She knows this or she would've said something to your father instead. ######"}
{"prompt":"Full disclosure: this happened several years ago, but I remembered today.  I went to an Italian fast food place whose name rhimes with Bizarro.  They had pictures of the food prominently displayed on the menu board and I saw they had a meatball sub with four meatballs.  I ordered said sub and when I got mine it had 3 meatballs.  I pointed this out to the server who essentially said ‘sorry, it comes with 3’.  I asked for a manager and pointed out that their menu board showed a sub with 4 meatballs and I had gotten mine with only 3. The manager doubled down and said ‘sorry that’s how it comes’. I pointed out that this was false advertisement but they essentially shrugged and said sorry.  I then asked for (and got) a refund.  AITA?\n\nTLDR:  a sub shop had a picture in their menu board of a sub with 4 meatballs, but they serve them only with 3.  I asked for a refund when they would not make it as pictured. ######","completion":" NTA, and that is false advertising. At least you got your money.\n\nIf they have a social media page, perhaps ask them there why they falsely advertise the no. of meatballs in the sandwich. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her. \n\nTo be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer. \n\nShe thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE\/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’. \n\nI don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?\n\n(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######","completion":" NTA, and she's not your friend, not even a work-friend, otherwise it'd be a healthy competition with best wishes going both ways, instead she wants you to hurt your life progression to maybe help her own. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.\n\nThis morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######","completion":" NTA, and regardless of your gender that is an invasion of privacy and is completely illegal. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment. \n\nSteve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met. \n\nI gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor\/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.\n\nThis week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children. \n\nA lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and personally I wouldn’t renew the lease of someone who called me an asshole on social media. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my background was a picture of a dog that said \"what the FUCK is oatmeal\" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was \"traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said \"spy on individuals you don't know.\nSo AITA \n\nEDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######","completion":" NTA, and now that you mention it, what the fuck *is* oatmeal? ######"}
{"prompt":"For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.\n\nMy sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.\n\nDue to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy. \n\nWhen she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth. \n\nShe insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up. \n\nNow I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate. \n\nSo, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA, and no physician worth their degree would allow you to become a surrogate, especially if you don’t have any of your own kids ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that. \n\nJust to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”. \n\nNow I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”. \n\nAt a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her. \n\nAs far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits. \n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA, and man, people freak out over the smallest things ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.\n\nFor some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.\n\nThings have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of \"You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant\".\n\nAs a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and it’s not your opinion or anyone’s if she’s gained weight, it’s a quantitative number, that she should be reporting to her OB to make sure everything’s on track. Too slow or too fast weight gain can be an indication of further issues. I’m worried she’s avoiding staying on top of this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following \n\n-\tnigger\n-\tporch monkey\n-\thalf breed\n-\tmutt\n-\tjigaboo\n\nAnd not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ######","completion":" NTA, and idk how old you are and if custody is an issue. If it is, find out if your state is a two party consent state for recording and if it’s not, record conversations with her so you have proof when she uses these slurs while you are visiting dad. If custody isn’t an issue, don’t go to the wedding and minimize contact to just phone calls with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a month ago my husband and I moved into our current house that we are renting from this guy. He also lives with us in the third bedroom. This was supposed to be a short term thing but because of obvious reasons we don't know how long we're going to be here. Neither of us has had a roommate before, we were both the first person we lived with other than family.\n\nAnyway this morning I woke up earlier than usual so I made my husband and I breakfast. I made us eggs with toast. I used a total of 6 eggs and 2 pieces of bread. Our roommate came downstairs just as I was putting it on the table and was about to get my husband, and asked why he wasn't getting any. I was kind of surprised because I don't know why he would expect any. But he then got mad and said that he's paying for 1\/3 of the groceries so he should be kept in mind if we're making something. The past month my husband and I have just been eating small stuff for lunch and dinner, no big cooking of meals or anything, mostly sandwiches and whatever we can scrounge up so it just hadn't come up yet. \n\nI told him that I didn't make him any and if he wanted eggs there were more and he could make some himself. He said he should get some of what I made because he's paying for it and I should keep him in mind. I told him that what I used isn't more than 2\/3 of what we had so it doesn't matter and I'm not going to cook a meal for him, I was just doing something nice for my husband. He said he was going to have to rethink our payment agreement for groceries.\n\nNeither of us have ever had a roommate before as I said, so we don't know whether this guy is just strange or if I was really supposed to make him eggs.\n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA, And I’d recommend taking him up on his offer to reevaluate the splitting costs, it sounds like you might all be happier if you each got your own groceries and were clear about who had what ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently made an online clothing purchase, which I was really excited about. I expressed my excitement to my boyfriend while the package was in transit. Once it arrived, I put on one of the shirts and sent a picture to my boyfriend. He responded “wtf is that?” With laughing emojis and when I said “wow” back, he responded with “you can’t be serious right?”\n\nI expressed to him that I was upset about what he said. I suggested to him that instead of making rude comments he should just say I look nice (even if he doesn’t think so). He seemed baffled at this request and asked if I wanted him to “just be a fake person”. \n\nHe tried to clarify that he didn’t mean I looked ugly, only that he didn’t picture me to wear something like that. He said I was overreacting and that I “love to make arguments out of nothing”. \n\nSo, AITA for being upset over something so small? ######","completion":" NTA, and I think the shirt you picked does actually matter because he may be reacting out of insecurity and trying to make you feel bad for wearing something a bit more revealing. I mean really, a white crop top is not outlandish or strange. I expected you to say it was like some strangly printed blouse or something, but even then it would still be rude. Why would he laugh at you over a crop top, or for branching out and wearing something different? ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand). \n\nThe problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying. \n\nWe’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue. \n\nWIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ######","completion":" NTA, and I think if you are straight up and say \"I don't mind you having your fun, but it's legitimately affecting my ability to sleep\" and affecting your day time obligations, she'll probably be understanding. ######"}
{"prompt":"For background, i have 2 horses. Both are older (mid to late 20s), but one is very old (nearing 30), small (just above pony size and just under 1000 lbs) and has some back and hip issues. She is still in great shape for her age, is very muscular, and still enjoys riding. We trail ride up the mountains near our barn, usually 1.5-2 hours a ride, and they can be difficult and steep, but she does great with me (I am taller but weigh around 115 lbs). \n\nWhen I bring friends riding, they ride the smaller, older horse and I ride the younger one. This is because the younger horse is very sensitive and not beginner friendly whereas the older one is not sensitive and great for all levels of riding. Because of aforementioned issues, I am selective about who I let ride her as it’s difficult for her to carry too much weight, especially up the steep hills and for an extended period of time. \n\nI have a friend who is well over 200 lbs, does not know anything about horses, and asked to ride with me. I said no and was honest about why, but still offered for her to come groom them and spend time with them on the ground. She went straight to the body shaming tactic, I was skinny so I don’t understand, the horse is fine if she’s always galloping around with me, bigger people deserve to ride too, she’s shorter than me so it evens out, I’m gate keeping horses, etc. I just told her my horse was an animal with limitations, not a machine, and that I’m not going to sacrifice her welfare to spare her feelings. She was furious and we haven’t spoken since. Some friends (who all re also not into horses) think one ride would be fine and I’m being an asshole about her weight. I strongly disagree, I even agreed with her that bigger people can ride, they just need a horse suitable for their size and my horse is not that. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and I say that as a plus size rider. An older, pony-size horse is not an appropriate mount for a heavier beginner. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend has been vegan for about 4 years and we’ve been dating for 5 years. It was rough at first when she became vegan because we couldn’t go to any of our old favorite places and personally, I had no thoughts of being vegan so I didn’t want to eat the things she wanted to get. However, she made a decision to change a part of her life, which was difficult for her too so I told myself the least I can do is fully support her. Every Tuesdays and Thursdays, for the past 4 years, I’ve cooked vegan dinners for her. On Saturday’s, I took her out to vegan restaurants so she could also try different kinds of vegan food. I thought I was supporting her by doing these things but lately, she’s been telling me she’s going to get rid of all the pans and all dairy and meat. She’s basically saying I can’t bring in meat or dairy and cook any of that inside our house. I bought the house 3 years ago and didn’t ask my girlfriend for a penny to live here. I told her that there’s no way that’s happening at my house and she called me an asshole and said it’s our house and told me to go eat outside if I want those things. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA, and honestly it’s kind of a red flag how controlling she’s being. A healthy relationship is built off of compromises and not one party telling the other what to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago, on thanksgiving, I had dinner at my grandparents house along with some extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc). \nWhile we were eating, my grandma kept making comments about my two little cousins weight gain and how much they were eating. On thanksgiving. Where the whole point is to eat a lot. \nThey’re two young, active boys who like many other children go through different phases of weight. And they both have appetites. \n\nShe kept making the rude comments throughout dinner. Everyone stayed silent when she spoke about them. \nEvery time one of them would scoop more potatoes on their plate, she would say another comment. She started joking that they were “huge”, that soon they would look like sumo wrestlers and that we would have to roll them away from the table. \nI finally snapped and said, “Stop. Shut up about their weight. It’s thanksgiving!”\n \nI understand it was harsh and I had terrible manners. I guess I ruined thanksgiving for everyone else. I could have phrased it in a more tactful way but I was shocked by her comments. My family is still mad at me about it.\nBut I felt justified in defending my little cousins who just wanted to enjoy their thanksgiving meal. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and holy shit, they're still mad *years* later? ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent\/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.\n\nMy parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.  \n\nHusband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.\n\nMy husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and he really needs to stop enabling her. She can have a break when she retires like everyone else, she has children to support. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23f) live with my bf (25m) in an okay house. We’ve been together for 4 years and own 2 cats.\n\nOur cats like to jump into the window in the middle of the night and how they do that is by grabbing the curtain and pulling themselves up, causing the curtain to fall down. One of us usually fixes it, no problem. \n\nWell this morning, I woke up to the curtain on the floor and my bf at his desk. My bf has a routine of getting up and immediately going to his desk to work on art commissions. If I bother him while he’s in the zone, he gets pretty mad. But also during that time, he doesn’t make breakfast for himself and usually waits till I get up to ask me to make it. This morning wasn’t any different.\n\nThe thing was that I was naked under the covers and the window uncovered is the one that faces our neighbors yard. Even if it was empty, there’s still a chance of them or their kids coming out of the house at the wrong moment and seeing my bits.\n\nI asked my bf to close the curtain so I could go make him breakfast, but he told me no and to do it myself since the window is closer to me. I told him I was naked and didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and repeated the question.\n\nHe got up from his chair angry, cursing at me and telling me I was pulling “a fucking power move” on him and he kept saying it while putting the curtain up. It hurt my feelings pretty bad. I changed into my clothes and made breakfast right after.\n\nHe refuses to apologize to me still cause he feels like I was in the wrong since the window is closer to me, but I see it as me asking a simple task that takes seconds to do. AITA? Was I pulling a power move? ######","completion":" NTA, and he can make his own breakfast from now on. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 8 year old brother is one of the worst people I’ve ever met and he’s only 8. My parents are too busy getting divorced to discipline him. I know he’s going through a tough time but he’s become incredibly mean. I don’t know if anyone else has every had their feelings hurt by a literal child but I have. He insults me every chance he gets, makes trash around the house that I have to clean up and harasses my pets. He likes to lie and take my things. He likes to rip things up. He especially likes to bring up my past relationships (I’m a female, 17) and say it’s my fault they ended because I’m a “cold hearted bitch” or that I’m a slut for “kissing so many boys”. I’m over all these relationships of course but it still bothers me that he says these things. Sometimes he says them in front of my current boyfriend of a year and I think it’s inappropriate, no one needs to be reminded of my past relationships? \nSo now I’ve decided not to talk to him for the time being but I’m afraid that will do more danger than go for him psychologically and what not but it would save me a headache if I just ignored him for a fat minute. ######","completion":" NTA, and frankly, his behavioural issues are deeply concerning. The fact that he harasses your pets is a big red flag that he needs professional intervention sooner than later.\n\nEdit: I'm in no way suggesting that the burden of that care would be on you; hopefully your parents will arrange support for him soon. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out \n\nDisclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.\n\nOk so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).\n\nNow I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted  legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.\n\nAll this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best). \n\nNow I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding. \n\nSo I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.\n\nI don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.\n\nSo would I be the asshole here?\n\nExtra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.\n. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.\n.He’s asked me for things in the past such as       some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ######","completion":" NTA, and for the record, 14 isn't too old for Lego. Some adults will spend hundreds of hours and dollars on them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad's almost 50. The girl was a college cheerleader for a sports team, and the daughter of a family friend. As far as I can tell she's like 24 at most, and she could have easily passed for younger. Like, if I saw her in my high school I would have totally thought she was a senior or something. I'm 15. My dad was talking about her and was like \"oh, she's hot\" and was basically being really weird. I think it's kinda creepy to say things like that when there's that big of an age difference, not to mention the whole family friend thing. I told him as much. He got mad at me and said \"what's the problem, we're all adults, it's not creepy at all\". I personally think that that saying things like that definitely gives creepy old guy vibes at the very least, and that it's very inappropriate and disrespectful to say things like that about the daughter of a family friend. Like, life's not a porno, man, have some standards. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and as someone who turned nineteen and was horrified to realize I was considered, “fair game” by friends divorced dads, thank you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway maybe future account \n\nI am a 15 year old girl who has a mom. A few years ago my dad cheated and guess what we are divorced. Anyway my mom does not like me for having a relationship with my dad and expect me to hate him for cheating. Anyway a few weeks ago my mother adopted my sister who has the same exact name to me and gave her last name. So have the same exact names woo hoo.\n\nAnyway today my mom was talking to her friend who is right next to her my mom got a brand new apartment so my friend mom asked for my sister but I thought she was asking about ME so I went in. She looked really confused. I then told her that my mom replaced me with a shiny new \"toy\" and that she pretends I don't exist. I am just stuck here because of a custody agreement. \n\nMy mom came out and so me and was immidietly  embarrassed.  Her friend asked about me and she called me a failure. At this point her friend stopped and told her that she was not fit to parent and that she does not want to be a friend with her. Anyway she left. At home my mom yelled at me for making her loose a friend and that she hates me now. I think I might have ruined my moms only friend ship  which might make me the bad girl ######","completion":" NTA, and as for the custody agreement, get your dad to dispute it. “Yeah my mom adopted a girl to replace me, *literally gave her my exact name,* and has made it clear that she considers me a failure because I don’t hate my dad so I’d really not like be forced to spend time with her.” \n\nYou’re also old enough for the courts to take your opinion into heavy consideration. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and vagueness for reasons. \n\nI work in a very niche industry. I've been certified in my job &amp; worked at the same employer for 12 years. My employer has a new(er) certification program for the certification level below mine - it works by 4 months of classroom training and 2 weeks of on-the-job training under a preceptor. \n\nI was one of the preceptors. \n\nI learned from a preceptee that an insane amount of my fuckups were recorded without my knowledge and included in various training videos. Other people are included too, but I appear so much that I have a not-very-nice nickname among students. I verified this was actually the case through my own investigation. \n\nI asked the training department to stop using me in training videos. They refused and it was said that they have the right to use the videos since there was no expectation of privacy on my part. In response, I've quit precepting until they take me out. \n\nThis causes a reasonably big issue in the training program since I'm the only preceptor in this area and they aren't in a position to train more. This is delaying students graduation from the program and some are quite upset since they weren't scheduled to be in the city so long and have to wait longer now. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA, and also it's illegal to record you for such purposes if they didn't tell you, or it's not on your contract or any other document you had to sign. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M18) work at a fast food restaurant (this was about 6 weeks ago btw, but has been playing in my mind every night). The store wasn’t very busy with only a few customers seated eating their food. A young and attractive girl walked up to register to order her food, and my coworker began taking her order whilst I was left to clean the dining area. \n\nI noticed a man seated in a stall looking a little strange, and pointing his phone towards the girl. I positioned myself behind the man and saw that he was filming the girl, zooming in on her legs\/thigh area. \n\nI immediately stood in front of the camera and asked the man if he was filming the girl. He looked up at me and angrily said “she‘s my girlfriend”. I didn’t initially believe him but then the girlfriend approached and sat down opposite the man, and called him ‘babe’. I apologised and said I was unaware and promptly left to save myself any further embarrassment.\n\nReplaying the situation in my head since then, the man was significantly less attractive than the female and perhaps I just wrongly assumed that they weren’t together because of this? I’d hate for me to seem like a classic ‘white knight’ who thinks women need protection from men or something, I just didn’t want any creeps filming unaware girls.\n\nAITA For stepping in too early, or was it just an honest mistake? ######","completion":" NTA, an honest mistake. As a woman, I would want someone to do what you did, even if they were mistaken and it was actually my partner. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.\nAITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA, although depending on where you live, you might not get very far on the privacy invasion charges. Also, I'd recommend verifying that the actual lease doesn't prohibit firearms of any sort as that could potentially get you in trouble with the owner of the apartment. ######"}
{"prompt":" I had two sons from my first marriage that are now teenagers. I’m remarried and 6 months ago we had a baby girl. This baby is my wife’s first. I totally get what it’s like to be a worried first time parent and it’s not like I’m not worried about certain things, but with others, it’s my third time around. I’ve been there. When the baby projectile vomits, I’m not gonna panic. I don’t judge her for being so, but I think it bothers her that I’m not and she worries that I’m not going to do things right.\n\nWhen the baby was born, she kept reminding me to support the head. I told her I know, don’t worry, she’s okay. Then as she got older, she kept rattling off facts about temperatures for bath water, how to put her to bed, etc. I was really being as patient as possible and listening.\n\nWhen all this stuff with the world started going on, things got a bit worse. Things came to a head yesterday when I was trying to feed the baby and she was trying to tell me how to make a bottle. I gently turned to her and said “I know why you’re panicked, but I’ve done all this before, I know what I’m doing.” She for really upset and said that I was trying to say I was better at this and undermining her fears, which I’m not. I’m just saying I have parented before,so I know what to do. She then said it was wrong for me to say that because I shouldn’t remind her of my past like that and I should be supportive. Things have been strained since.\n\nWas I wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA, also, you shouldn't \"remind her of your past like that\"? Does she expect you to pretend your sons don't exist and you never had a relationship before her? If so that's a bit worrying and she needs to get a grip. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range. \n\nAt first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm. \n\nAs of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws. \n\n WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######","completion":" NTA, 2am is ridiculous ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.\n\nOnce in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians. \n\nAnyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career. \n\nWell we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing. \n\nSo not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized\/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages. \n\nI do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ######","completion":" NTA, 19 years old, he made his own decision (and by the sound of it he fully enjoyed it)\n\nDoes he have any other issues than his speech impediment? If so then that MIGHT get dicey in some regards but either way it was a consensual transaction of well-meaning ridicule. Roasts are fun, that's why they've been doing them for decades. ######"}
{"prompt":"I [F19] have kept in touch with my ex boyfriend [M18] since we broke up almost two years ago. We follow each other on Instagram and like each other pictures, that pretty much the extent of our communication.\n\nEx recently got a new girlfriend. I got a DM from him last night saying that his gf told him that he can’t follow any girls who don’t follow her on Insta, and she also has to be following them. He said that if I don’t follow her and accept her follow request, he’d have to unfollow me.\n\nSome things about my Instagram: I have about 50 followers, and they’re all either friends from back home, or friends I’ve made in college. Basically, I know all of my followers. I don’t know who his new girlfriend is, even though we went to high school together. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has about 10k followers and is following 500+. \n\nI read ex’s DM last night, not knowing what to do. When I woke up this morning, he blocked me on both of his accounts (one public, one private “finsta” account).\n\nI feel like shit because I liked seeing what he was up to and all the traveling he did. But I can also see why his new girlfriend didn’t want him following his ex anymore. AITA for not following her, even though I don’t know who she is? ######","completion":" NTA, 100%. That is *creepy* of her. She seems incredibly controlling, and that’s not healthy for him. Losing touch with people might actually help him realize that this is problematic of her. You did the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.\n\nA clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.\n\nI joked \"Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon.\" My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.\n\nLater that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.\n\nShe got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.\n\nIt went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.\n\nWe haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, 10 and 11 year old kids should know these things. ######"}
{"prompt":"I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.\n\nThe woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too \"slutty\" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.\n\nAs far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems. \n\nThen, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.\n\nThe husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.\n\nI said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.\n\nBut then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.\n\nI said \"Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.\n\nShe said no right away.\n\nI then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said \"Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?\"\n\nShe cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.\n\nAITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######","completion":" NTA, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” \n(Edited to add- Quote is by Anne Lamott, I dropped the quote earlier with quotation marks but without the name of author because I couldn’t think of the author off the top of my head. I assumed it would be understood it was not a quote of mine based off that and anyone could search for the author if they so desired to take the time to do so. Thank you for the gold and also thank you for sharing appreciation of my sharing the quote as advice to OP. I didn’t expect it to resonate as well as it did on here although it has with myself and my social groups over the years. Cheers everyone!) ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.\n\nFast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.\n\nSo a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.\n\nNow he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.\n\nReddit wise ones, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, “friends” don’t give your number to people who want to hook up with you when you’re in a relationship. Even if you were single it would still be weird to do, but him KNOWING youre in a relationship and telling P to go for it is morally wrong ######"}
{"prompt":"Note: I do not know the people that live here. We speak different languages. I have had zero communication with them over 2-years. These people mean nothing to me. I am simply staying here while I apply for actual apartments.\n\nThe door to this building automatically locks when you leave UNLESS you stick a rug in the door and prevent it from closing. Generally speaking, you should take your keys with you, because if you go outside you aren't getting back in.\n\nThis one guy NEVER takes his keys. Yesterday, four times he went outside to smoke, forgot his keys, and spent five minutes banging on my wall to get me to open the door. It was 2am. I was sleeping.\n\nThe fifth time I got so pissed that I am simply pretending I am not home. He has been banging on my wall for 3-hours now, and I have just put headphones on. It is really fucking loud, but why should I have to do anything for his stupidity? It is now 1:30pm. He started banging at 11:30am.\n\nAITA for not letting him in? ######","completion":" NTA, \nUnderstandable accidentally leaving your keys inside once but doing it 5 times a day, at that point he needs to learn the hard way ######"}
{"prompt":"So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.\n\nHe likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them\/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.\n\nThe reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.\n\nAITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######","completion":" NTA, \nThis is your space just as much as it is hers and he is infringing upon that. He hasn’t got a right to act like you’re making him uncomfortable when he is sweating on the area rug your Mom bought you when you moved out. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is 6F. We have a pretty large age gap. For about two years she’s been using the word “yerchother” as a replacement for “each other”. As in: “we are playing with yerchother”. It’s pretty cute so no one corrected her for so long. But today I heard her saying it and I corrected her because she’s getting older. She’s starting to learn how to read! I don’t think it’s any different than if I corrected a kid for saying “buyed” instead of “bought”. But anyway, my dad heard me correcting her and freaked out. He said that she doesn’t need to have correct vocabulary. I think he’s just trying to hold on to the past. She’s in school and it’s just a mistake that will get corrected eventually, so I figured why not do it now, instead of her getting red pen marks on her paper later. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, \nAs long as you were being polite there is nothing wrong with teaching a kid how to do things properly. It can and will effect her in the future. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######","completion":" NTA, \n\nYou've got your hands full right now, dealing with this should be the least of your worries. I'm sure this has been distressing. \n\nHow truly disrespectful for a grandmother to put such undue stress upon a new mother and to do so in a very public way. Your initial plea should have sufficed. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this with all else happening around you. This was a clear boundary for you and it's one she should have recognized. Social media privacy is a big deal. Do what you need to to protect your child. \n\nI suspect this won't be the last of your run ins with grandma so keep your backbone sturdy. You'll need it. \n\nGood luck, congrats on your new baby and be well! ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few months back my cat Figaro had been acting a little strange, like not eating and just sitting there not doing anything, and I (12M) immediately told my mom that we should get him to the vet, so that’s what we did.\n\nNow mind you Figaro is\/was 9 at the time, so he had quite a few more years in him, and at the vet the doctor checked him out and he said the only real issue was that he basically was constipated and just needed a few days for it all to get flushed out. \n\nCome next week he’s still not eating and my whole family is sort of panicking, so we decide to take him in one more time, and the same thing happened. The doctor said he was just constipated. \n\nThen a few more days go by and nothing has changed. Two days later we find out he had major heart failure and had to be put down. Me and my mom were furious. Because the worst part was if that doctor would have taken the goddamn time to actually look instead of just say “Oh yeah he’s just constipated give it a few days”.\n\nAnyways, we IMMEDIATELY took our business to another veterinarian in the area, and some friends of ours who also go to that vet have been saying we over reacted and should give them another chance.\nSo Reddit, AWTA?\n\nEdit 1: sorry if my grammar and or English is a little fucked rn it’s 2 in the morning lol ######","completion":" NTA, \n\nI hate when doctors just brush things off. I know we can’t always be right and we will make “human” errors. But yeah, I don’t blame you for being upset about it and switching. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nSo, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.\nRight now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA, \n\nAnd, my response to unsolicited dick pics is I find really diseased ridden penises and send them back to them. If they are going to send me gross things, they can have the same reaction. \n\nI’m petty, though. And I’m a nursing student, so the pictures don’t bother me too much. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy. \n\nI logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that. \n\nWe would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc. \n\nA neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do. \n\nShe then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says: \n\n'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.' \n'I have never met you in my entire life' \n'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely' \n\nI replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'. \n\nShe replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that. \n\nI'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private. \n\nAITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######","completion":" NTA,  she could be a weirdo,  or she could be living with a jealous and abusive partner who saw the post and had a problem with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers\/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons. \nI thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift. \nI talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move. \n\nShe got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######","completion":" NTA,  it would be a lovely thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Most of your schools probably have had the fundraisers where you sell their wrapping paper or food or something and they give you a prize.\n\nWe had one of them come over to my school and I looked at the catalog. If i sold 10 dollars worth of goods i got a prize that was worth like 25 cents. If i sold 25 dollars wroth of goods i got something worth a dollar. If i sold 50 dollars worth of goods i got something worth 5 dollars. If i sold 100 dollars worth of shit i got something worth maybe 10-20 dollars (couldn't find the price of this one online). I can't remember the rest this was all like 5 years ago.\n\nThe person was making a presentation telling us how we can raise money for the school. He asked if we had any questions and I then asked him \"what percentage of the sales actually go to the school and not to your company?\" and he said that \"well we can't answer this question but i can tell you a lot of it will go to the school thanks for the question\" and before he could say next person i butted in  \"what's the point of me spending hours if not days trying to get 100 dollars worth of sales when i can just mow my neighbors lawn for an hour and get 20 bucks to buy the shitty prizes online for a cheaper price?\"\n\nEveryone starts laughing at this point and he basically refused to answer the question and told me to sit down. Principal came over and pulled me out and told me to sit in the office and told me i was extremely rude and disrespectful to adults. I became sort of a legend my middle school for this, though i was put on probation and they told me if i ever pulled this shit again i'd be suspended. Fuck my middle school ######","completion":" NTA,  even as a parent i dont suport school fundraisers these days for that reason. Kids bust ass for nothing, school gets some small percentage. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for some reason I’m the only kid (19F) on my mums side of the family that’s in the adults only group chat. I think it’s a mistake my Gran made it when she created it. Anyway, this has led me to get to hear the crazy ramblings that go on daily from my grandparents. \n\nA couple days back we were talking about how hot it is out lately. We were joking about global warming when my Gran comes out with this dumpster fire of a message: “Or is it the fact that the air pollution has reduced so dramatically that there is not so much muck between the sun and the surface of the earth. Whatever is the reason, you can be sure that the Chinese are definitely to blame. I hate China. If I could get rid of everything in the house that did not have some influence from China, I would. However, that would mean our house would be very empty!” \n\nI showed the message to my mum and we both shared a surprised pikachu face. Then with the guidance of my mum (so I don’t just call her a racist old bigot) I respond with: “I understand where your views are coming from Granny but we’ve got to remember we can’t judge a country\/race just for a few people’s mistakes. It’s like Germany. It’s a beautiful place where a lot of good things have come from, but we all remember the mistakes they made in the last century. Hope you had a good bank holiday weekend and enjoyed the sun.”\n\nThe groupchat went SILENT after that, and now my mum has got a string of emails along the lines of “oh you must think we’re horrible people that never do anything right” from my Gran. I font feel guilty about calling her out but I do for making it awkward for the rest of my family and my mum. ######","completion":" NTA,  but you might be better off leaving the group chat. Granny isn't gonna change. ######"}
{"prompt":"some background information: \nMy family owns two houses, one in Pennsylvania and one in Brooklyn. Me (M19) and my sister (F21) are staying here in Brooklyn because we didn’t want to go up to Pennsylvania with the rest of my family. My other sister and both my parents are in Pennsylvania. They wanted to go up there to get away from you know what.\n\nEver since my sister and I were by ourselves, my mom calls me 4 times a day and asks me to see if my sister is okay because she never answers my moms calls or texts. I was getting seriously annoyed because pretty much every call or text I got from my mom was her asking for me to check up on my sister. It reached a boiling point when she called me at 9AM this morning which woke me up. She told me to check to see if my sister was ok because she wasn’t answering her calls. This is where I might be the asshole. On the phone with her after I checked up on my sister I told my mom to not call or text me again if she is going to ask me to check up on my sister. She isn’t going out (everyone knows why but we can’t say it). If my sister doesn’t answer her calls or texts it’s probably because she doesn’t want to talk to you or she’s just sleeping. My mom got seriously pissed at me and hasn’t texted or called me since then. I just think it’s so annoying how I’m literally being woken up because my sister doesn’t bother to answer her phone and my mom resorts to me checking on her and this is happening like 4-5 times a day. PLEASE NOTE my sister doesn’t have depression or any mental\/physical disability she is perfectly fine, just fucking lazy. \n\nSo AITA for telling my mom to not contact me if it’s about my sister? ######","completion":" NTA-your sister seems to have little regard for your parents' concerns and they need to take that up with her. Why not have an agreed-upon check-in time each day with your parents, both of you at the same time on Facetime and be done with it. You are lucky to have parents who trust you to stay in Brooklyn by yourselves; show them that they did not misplace their trust and reassure them at least once a day that the two of you are doing fine. There isn't a whole lot else to do if you are staying inside. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI don't have the happiest home life, my dad and mom got into a lot of fights because he was cheating on her. I don't know why they're still together honestly.\n\nHe's also been angry at me a lot for academics, I've been studying from home and he thinks I'm being lazy and stupid\n\nHe and she fight a lot, and when that happens, I just kind of mentally shut down. Like let my eyes unfocus, stop paying attention to my hearing or other senses. Just relax into my own mind. It honestly feels like an out of body experience a little, I feel untethered from my own body, like I'm floating through empty space. It takes a while to come back too; like I feel kind of like I'm deep deep underwater and anything that someone says or does is blurred and delayed so much by the time it gets to me.\n\nI know that sounds super weird but honestly it's the thing that's keeping me sane through this shit.\n\nBut I think it's been making my dad and mom really mad, when either of them is angry with me and I go to that place, they get furious, they yell at me for being a \"fucking vegetable\" and accuse me of being messed up in the head. Tried to shake me out of it once. Been telling their friends that I'm autistic. I don't think I am.\n\nI know it makes them mad but it's honestly the nicest thing I can do for myself, I'm so sick of their shit. If I can't go somewhere physically, I guess the next best thing is to leave there mentally.\n\nAITA for going to that other mental place when there's anger at home, even if it makes my dad and mom mad? ######","completion":" NTA-You’re doing what you need to do to survive in that type of situation. I used to do the same thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters, I just wanna say that I love my MIL and we get along most of the time, but she’s really been getting under my skin lately. \n\nMy husband is an only child and his mom chose to take on a very traditional role as a mother. She didn’t work when he was little, did all the cooking, cleaning, etc., which is completely fine if that’s what she wanted to do. However, since I am now pregnant I have had to deal with increasing amounts of judgments and micro-aggressions from her. \n\nSome examples:\n1. Whenever she comes to visit she immediately starts cleaning and doing my husband’s laundry, all while questioning why the house isn’t better kept \n2. She’s always talking about how people criticized her for not making my husband do any chores and how he turned out great. I love my husband and he’s perfectly capable of doing chores but it’s pretty clear that the lesson he learned is that it’s not his responsibility to help around the house, and only does chores if I specifically ask him too. \n3. She is constantly judging my decision to continue working after becoming a mother, making comments such as “why would you have a child if you’re just going to go to work all day and send them to daycare?” I know she wants to come stay with us for a while after the baby comes and I’m grateful for the help but I almost don’t want her to because I don’t know if I’ll emotionally be able to handle the parenting criticism I think will come my way. \n\nToday, she made a comment about how women are less successful in team based sports and esports because women are naturally more caddy and emotional. I was already in a bad mood for the aforementioned reasons and responded by telling her that her comments were extremely sexist. She didn’t really say much back and moved on to a new topic but I could tell I hurt her feelings. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA-you need to put your foot down right now. If she's allowed to say these sexist things in YOUR house, your kid's going to be influenced as well. Do you really want your MIL to be telling a granddaughter she has to clean up whilst the grandson goes playing? Unless you want this to repeat, you need to shut it down now. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm gay. I've come out to my parents when I was 14. My mom was distraught and my dad didn't seem to care. My mom was mad at me for over 2 months, but eventually came to terms with it. Though she does make passive aggressive remarks saying she can't wait for me to marry a girl and whatever, she still asks about my bf from time to time and she's still amicable towards me so it's all good. My dad and I .. don't talk to often. Only when we work on things together do we really talk. He often makes comments on what traits are attractive in a girl, what kind of girl to marry, etc etc. When I was 15, I told my dad in a sort of awkward way \"dad I'm dating Mike, he's been my boyfriend for 2 years\" and he seemed to just brush it off and continued to talk about girls and well I didn't correct him going forward.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nLast night, I told my mom me and Mike would be moving in together and were probably gonna get married soon (we're 23\/23). I know it seems a bit early but we've been dating each other for like 10 years now and well, we still like each other so that's probably a good sign. My mom was extremely upset as although she still supported me, she still hoped that \"I'd change my mind and marry a girl\" but again, she's not aggressively harsh towards me and we're still on good terms so it's not a big deal. My dad however... apparently just found out I was gay. He was extremely upset with me and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner so he could change my mind\/prepare for this. I sorta just told him well dad... I did... twice but he apparently had no memory of this. He was furious at me for not giving him time to prepare for the \"loss of his son\" and well, I kinda expected this eventually (a lot earlier honestly). AITA for not pressing this matter earlier? I've been comfortable with my sexuality for a long time, and I guess I could've pressed in the fact as over the past 8 or so years, I've sorta been leading my dad on by not correcting him. ######","completion":" NTA-You did tell your father multiple times. It’s not your fault he brushed you off because you were telling him something he wasn’t willing to hear. ######"}
{"prompt":"I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.\n\nMy husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled. \n\nWell the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident\/illness at the dinner table? ######","completion":" NTA-They were being ridiculous. I can understand them making that assumption but they should have believed you when you explained the situation. The husband was being all dramatic for nothing ######"}
{"prompt":"I 27(M) have been dating my girlfriend 24(F) for six months. I love wearing sweatpants when ever I can my favorite ones are my grey ones. Lately she started to ask me to change to a different color which I would brush off. Well yesterday she told me it was inappropriate to wear them outside the house. Now here where I might be the ass I told her since we were talking about things that bother us I told her not wearing a bra bothered me. She told me that that’s not the same and that it was The responsibility of men to not stare at her. I replied with it not my responsibility if woman want to stare at me. She got mad and left. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA-She’s correct it’s not her responsibility to make men not stare at her. You’re correct that it’s not your responsibility if you get stared at either. She doesn’t have to like your clothes but she doesn’t get to tell you what to wear. When she does it’s only fair you get the same opportunity to tell her what she should be wearing. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I play pranks on each other occasionally. They’re usually minor stuff, like once she gave me ‘ice cream’ but it was frozen mayonnaise and once I taped down the spray tool in the kitchen so when she turned the faucet on it got her wet. Nothing major and nothing dangerous, just normal sibling fooling around.\n\nOn Sunday I woke up and my wheelchair wasn’t by my bed. Naturally, I kind of freaked out. I woke up pretty late and I could see my parents car wasn’t in the driveway, so I ended up calling my sister and asking her to come in to my room to see if she was home. She did, and pretended to act really confused. \n\nApparently her idea for the ‘prank’ was to pretend I’m not disabled. So she came in, I asked where my chair was and she was like “What do you mean? You can walk.” It didn’t take very long to figure out she was joking, but I didn’t find it funny and said so. She was on the verge of laughing the whole time. After asking several times for her to drop it, she didn’t. It was clear she thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t. \n\nI ended up calling my mom, who was out grocery shopping. Now my sister is grounded and she’s mad and says it’s my fault for being a snitch and not having a sense of humor. While it technically is my fault she’s in trouble, idk if I did anything wrong and if I was too sensitive or if she’s overreacting and it was a bad prank. ######","completion":" NTA-Pranks aren’t funny when they go too far such as taking your wheelchair. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me. \n\nI’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me. \n\nIn my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.\n\nNow on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan. \n\nThat made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic\/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic\/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######","completion":" NTA-our community is supposed to be inclusive. But the reality is, a lot of members of the LGBT community are biphobic and transphobic. I would suggest looking into resources that can educate your friends on the validity of your sexuality so they stop trying to gatekeep, however it is not your job to educate them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Looking for some other opinions to help with my perspective.\n\nMy wife saw an area rug she liked on Craigslist. It was described as in good condition and was close to where we lived. The seller was asking $40 and my wife called and asked to come see it. The seller was about 10 minutes away, and my wife arranged a time to go meet.\n\nHer story upon returning with the rug was that she arrived at the destination to find the rug on the porch and the seller not home. When she unrolled the rug to look at it, she decided it was in poor condition and not worth the seller’s asking price. To be fair, she is a career interior designer and well capable of making this determination. However, she decided to leave $5 and take the rug to use for a different purpose than initially intended.\n\nAfter she explained this to me, I insisted she return the rug or get agreement from the seller that she could have it for her $5 offer. I explained that taking something that was not hers for a not agreed on price was theft and, regardless of how inconvenienced she felt, it did not give her the right to unilaterally decide on all the terms of the sale without the sellers consent. Her claim is that the seller was inconsiderate for not being there at the agreed time and making false claims about the condition of the rug gave her the right to take it for whatever price she felt acceptable.\n\nShe wound up returning the rug but treating me horridly for more than a week for ”not backing her” in this situation. I will add that she did all of this in front of our teenaged daughters and I felt strongly it set a very poor example. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA-No matter how your wife tries to justify it that was theft. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend and I got into a big fight this past month where I discovered he and his ex were having less than friendly contacts with each other. They had basically slept together and kissed each time they parted ways. \n\nWe were on a break and agreed to work things out again. My boyfriend agreed to set boundaries but he wouldn’t tell me what they were after he had met with his ex for a talk. It’s been almost a month since and I still feel paranoid and distrustful of him and had already told him about this and me needing him to tell me the boundaries that were set. He told me to just have faith and trust him and so I did. We had a talk about this just two days ago. Prior to this I had made it a rule that he has to inform of when he will be seeing his ex again and kept it again after he refused to tell me their boundaries. \n\nJust yesterday he went on a dinner with his ex where I suggested he should not pick up and dropped off the ex. He disagreed and tries to defend his decisions by saying that his friends does the same to him and asked why can I pick up and drop off my girl friends but not him. That it was a friendly thing he was doing. We ended up having a big fight. I tried telling him none of my friends were my exes who had asked me to sleep with them or had confessed to wanting to get back together with me and that it was obvious why. I told him he had to work for my trust as I still doubt he understood me. \n\nMy boyfriend apologize to me after he had gone on the date and ignored me all night saying he understands why I’m upset and that he won’t do it again. I told him it is a pattern of him doing the deeds and apologizing after and that I was fed up. He in turn said he’s getting fed up with my pattern of angry outbursts at him and my paranoia and controlling attitude. \n\nI’m a bit floored by his response. ######","completion":" NTA-lot of red flags here, he’s not over the ex and I guarantee he probably whines about you to her. Your best bet is to drop him as he will never fully commit to you so long as she’s around and from his behavior, it’s clear she will always be around ######"}
{"prompt":"I've lost my son 2 months ago, He was only 25,he was disabled, he had cerebral palsy since birth.\n\nMy husband and I loved him so much and gave him all the love and care he needed to make through the difficult times.\n\nSince his death I have been getting a lot of \"advice\" on how to move on in life and pretend like my son didn't even exist.\nJust like what they did when my husband passed away two years ago, my Brother in law (husband's brother) has always been a total asshole to me, one week before my husband died he told my husband to not worry about me cause I will marry again.\nHe told this while he was dying!\nMy husband was a great man, he was a donor, He cared for our son and always wanted for him to be happy.\n\nWhen my son died, right after we got back from the funeral, my BIL, and his wife stayed at my house for a whole week\n\nHe said \"why are you still so sad for your son? You should be happy for him, you should be happy for both of you, Him not having to deal with his disability anymore  and you being free, now you can go live your life without having to have to take care of a disabled person\"\n\"It wasn't like he was gonna make it to 50 right?\"\n\nI felt just awful, I got so angry with him, I told him he was an asshole and told him to get out of my house, he started running his mouth again and said \"I know you're just acting out cause you're grieving, but that does not excuse your shitty behavior towards me and my wife\"\n\nBefore he left, I told him to hand me the spare key to my house that he STOLE from my husband before he died, he lifted it up then instead of giving to me, he tossed it in the trashpin.\nHis wife was laughing on her way out, And I just stood there feeling awful, I cried my eyes out that day, and wished my son was there to comfert me.\n\nNow he's calling me to say that wants me to come over and help his wife decorate his son's birthday party. ######","completion":" NTA-I’m so sorry for your loss. You need to take care of yourself right now and a big part of that is not allowing people who don’t care for you around. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend asked me if she could access my Facebook to untag me from old photos. I said no then asked why. She showed an example it was a photo from about 10 years ago with me in a club with a girl hugging me and leaning on my shoulder. It was an ex but she didn't know that. I don't take many photos so I value people tagging me in theirs. ######","completion":" NTA-Everyone has a past. She has no right to try and alter yours because she’s feeling insecure or controlling. ######"}
{"prompt":"He threw a fit after me and my mom were cleaning my sisters room, and I accidentally dropped a glass. He then unloaded the dishwasher, re-arranged the kitchwn dish layout, and moved my moms cups to a place where she can barely reach them. I sent him that, and he responds \"They where there for half the time we lived here\" I go \"Well it hurts her back to get them, and she shouldnt have to climb to get them. I get payed to do the dishes, she does them 2\/7 days a week, and he does them once a month, if that, and me and mom do 97% of cooking. ######","completion":" NTA-But I think your mom needs to say something and put her foot down, he may not listen to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed\/give water\/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine. \n\nWhen I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush? \n\nProblem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush. \n\nI didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping. \n\nThat was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising\/not telling her? ######","completion":" NTA-. Your mom is ego centric. She's blaming you for her pulling out something from your cabinets after rearranging your kitchen. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys. \n\nMy SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time. \n\nI’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood. \n\nShe never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon. \n\nMy mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing. \n\nSIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that. \n\nI’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA--\n\nWOW. Your SIL and brother sound entitled. Receiving a gift and saying that it looks cheap or that it's not good enough? Politely receiving a gift is something that you learn at like age 3. \n\nOP, you are not TA. They should be lucky you even got them a gift. The thought counts. You don't owe them anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, my church has started a new initiative wherein they encourage members to do \"one good deed a week\". Absolutely fine, nothing wrong with that at all.\n\nHowever, they are also encouraging members to take photos\/post online\/tell people of their good deeds. This, in my mind, goes directly against what the Bible says.\n\nThe specific verse I'm thinking of is Matthew 6:1 \"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.\" (NIV).\n\nWhich I take to mean - do good deeds, but not so you can show off about them, because it's good to do good things. Treat people well, take care of them etc, but don't then showcase how amazing you are for doing them.\n\nSo, WIBTA if I sent that particular verse to the same church group chat where people are showing of their church-sanctioned \"one good deed a week\"? ######","completion":" NTA-- religious hypocrisy is gross. Fair warning though, you may want to soften it with a little intro like \"Hey everyone, so glad we're doing these wonderful things for the community but l'm uncomfortable with how we are advertising the good works on social media.... (insert bible verse)\"   \n\n\nI'm not saying that because I think religious hypocrites deserve coddling, but because religious hypocrites tend to be very sensitive when called out and if this is a primary social group for you that you want to keep, tread lightly. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been living in my home for just a couple years now. I’ve tried to spruce up my yard a bit with flowers and plants in the past, but they always end up dying rather quickly. I have a few empty decorative pots around the yard, and I don’t mind that they’re empty. I kind of like that they’re empty because it’s better than constantly looking at dead flowers. \n\nI recently had a new neighbor move in next door. I’ve had a couple of annoyances with them in the last few months, but nothing too major and no confrontations have been made. They mainly are just not mindful of others’ space and have done things like put their belongings in my yard, let their dog wander in my yard, and constantly want to talk to me any time they see me come or go from my house. I will say though, my new neighbor has really put some work into their yard since moving in, and they are clearly better with plants than me. That being said, my neighbor has taken it upon themself to start planting plants in my yard. They did not ask me beforehand if they could do it, and they didn’t tell me after they did it either. I can appreciate the thought behind gifting someone flowers, but since I am already annoyed that they cannot seem to respect my space and property, I do not see this as a nice, neighborly sentiment. So a few days ago I dug the flowers up and tossed them in the bushes. \nThe next day my neighbor noticed and came pounding on my door to yell at me about the flowers. I told them that they were in my yard and therefore my flowers and I could do whatever I wanted with them. However, I still can’t help but feel like I’m in the wrong after seeing them have such an emotional response. AITA?\n\nTLDR; my neighbor planted flowers in my yard without asking me and I dug them up. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA-- it seems like it should have been a nice gesture? But they're invading your space in a lot of other ways, too. Hopefully they'll back off-- but consider, if you can, a fence. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(22F) have a month old son. He’s an angel child for the most part. He only cries when he’s hungry or needs a diaper change.\n\nHowever, recently he’s gotten to where he doesn’t like to be alone. And by alone I mean he doesn’t like to be put down. Which was fine at first. But now that I’m all healed from him ripping my vagina to my butthole, I’d like to do housework and shower and whatnot.\n\nI used to pick him up EVERY time he cried or whined. But since I’ve learned the difference in his cries, I’ve stopped doing that. If he’s changed, fed, dressed, and loved, I’ll leave him to whine by himself. \n\nAfter he’s all taken care of, I give him his pacifier and put him in his swing. He’ll whine for awhile(no more than 5min at the most), but eventually falls asleep or just hangs out looking around doing baby things. \n\nDon’t get me wrong, it breaks my heart hearing him fuss and resisting the urge to pick him up. But he’s just whining. He’s not actually crying and doesn’t need anything. \n\nAnyways, I’ve been told I’m teaching my son that I don’t love him and that he’ll be all alone in the world. I’m a bad mom for letting him fuss. And I’m an asshole for allowing him to sit there and whine. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA-- as long as you are talking about literally five minutes. That's about as long as a one month old should be allowed to try and self soothe. It is incredibly important during these early months of life that he learns that when he cries, he'll be taken care of. That's how secure attachment is developed and the impact will last a lifetime. So don't get sucked into the idea that he should be allowed to 'cry it out' for hours and hours, but fussing for a few minutes is totally fine. I have found r\/Parenting very helpful for advice on this kind of thing, as well! ######"}
{"prompt":"In my last 1½ years of high school I was a morgue assistant while also going to classes to be a vetrinary tech. I was a vet tech in a animal hospital for exotic pets for almost 2 years after high school. \n\nI'm 23, in my 3rd year (out of 5) in school for a medical field. Since I have that experience I have a lot of the \"hand skills\" and am very good at the skills required to perform procedures, but I lack some of the backend knowledge. \n\nThe reason I didn't want to tell anyone about my experience is I didn't want to get any sort of passes. I know I have holes in the bit of knowledge I do have and I want to get rid of bad habits. That, and being a morgue tech is going to attract judgement I really don't want. \n\nThat experience does make me look like I know what I'm doing a lot more compared to classmates. I have a lot of experience with suturing, I have a lot of experience with placing especially difficult IV, I've participated in intubations, I've worked in surgery, I have experience with sterile procedure, I have lab experience, etc. To them it's just like I'm naturally good at it (which is far from the truth). \n\nI've just chosen to ride the wave of my classmates thinking I'm naturally good. I eventually got in a situation where I had to tell a classmate that I had some prior experience without getting into exactly what I do, and now they're angry I didn't tell them before. \n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" Nta- your past experience is no ones business. However, if they asked you how you’re so talented and you conceal that information then that would be lying ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: When I was 15, my dad came to see me and he gave me a pretty large sum of money. I used it to buy a computer for myself because I was the only one in my class who didn't have one. When I told my mum she freaked and she made me return the computer and give her the money so she could use it to take care of me. \n\nEver since then, anytime I make a mistake, she tells me I'm evil and I'm wicked and me buying the laptop instead of giving her the money was just proof of my wickedness. She tells me pretty often that I ruin everything I touch. I've been enduring this for 5 years because I made a mistake but I'm really fed up with it. \n\nYesterday I used her card by accident to pay for something and as soon as I realized my mistake, I refunded her money and apologized profusely. She proceeded to lecture me for almost 4 hours about how I'm the worst thing she ever did, I'm evil and my heart is full of wickedness. \n\nI'm planning on moving out soon and I don't intend to tell her where I'm going because even though she's not abusive but I can't relax around her and I want to relax. I will let her know that I'm okay so that she won't worry. I just don't want her to know where I'm moving to. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA- Your Mum's abusive and I'd get out ASAP. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm(15f) desi and if you're familiar with desi culture, the paler you are, the prettier. So there's a lot of colorism.\n\nMy dads side of the family is rather dark while my moms side is on the fairer side. I'm in the middle.\n\nI got out in the sun a lot and if I don't constantly exfoliate my face, I look rather dark. Not terribly so, but darker than normal. My family tells me to take care of my skin more because \"You're getting so dark, you're starting to get ugly\", which I completely don't believe, because, what the fuck? So I'm just like \"Yes aunty okay I'll do that\" and leave it. There's no use trying to teach an old dog new tricks, right?\n\nDue to recent events, I don't go outside and I wash my face more because \"self care\" and my skin is unusually pale, but it does have a beautiful healthy glow, which I'm proud of. Not the pale part, the healthy glow part.\n\nSo during a family video call, one of my aunts says my skin looks nice, and then they all start raving about my skin. And then they start talking about how pale I am. They say that my skin looks nicer like this, that my skin should be like this all the time, that I would be so much prettier if my skin was always this pale. And I'm kinda like *slight eye twitch* haha okay thanks let's move on.\n\n*And then* one of aunts has the nerve to say something along the lines of \"Finally, your skin isn't dark like your dads anymore.\" So I just kind of smile and hang up. This is the same aunt that said she would \"Fix her nose too is something was *wrong* with it\" like mine, when I said I wanted to get a nose job because I felt like my nose was too big, but I wouldn't because plastic surgery is haram. \n\nMy mom got mad at me and said my aunts were complimenting me and I had no right to get angry and even my dad said I was overreacting. I don't know, I hate all this \"paler = prettier\" bullshit, but I guess they *were* complimenting me, so I don't know. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- your mother should understand why you were upset. I would be upset too if I were you.  Next time you have a video chat you should wear a ton of bronzer and act like nothing is new. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby. \n\nMy girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room. \nI suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.\n\nHer mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her. \n\nHer mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?\n\nSide note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######","completion":" NTA- your mother is failing to realize that there are things she can’t understand like anxiety and etc. your just trying to feel okay in your own home, and your at the very least making an effort by letting as many people into your own home. And if the MIL won’t try and make an attempt with you with less of a crowd around, she can’t expect you to be absolutely social in a large space. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 15 year old  boy with three siblings.  One of them is a girl. For the longest time me and my brothers 14 and 13 had to share a room and my sister always got her own separate room. The girl is 12 years old. Now that we are moving in with our mom new husbands my mom promised me that I would finally get my own room. \n\nThe other two boys are happy because they get more space and those boys are best friends. My sister is obviously gets her own room cause she is girl. So when we moved in we realized that it's a three bedroom house and my mom lied. Us boys are furious as we have to share the small room and my sister gets the second largest and my parents the master. The room is enough to fit us and our stuff has to go in the attic to make space.\n\nThis is a huge issue as none of us kids are going to have a proper area to study and we are fucked if one of us has a nightmare and screams in the middle of the night which was an issue in the past. I complained and tried asked my mom if we wear going to have at least the master bedroom in which she refused and told me it's my husband and mine room then told me that you should be grateful that you are having a place to stay and sleep as the homeless person don't even have a house to sleep in ######","completion":" NTA- your mom lied. It should go\n\nmaster: 3 boys\nmedium: parents\nsmallest: sister\n\nOr at the least swap you guys and your sister. Your mom is being very selfish and uncaring ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a long time ago - when I was about 14 and on a family holiday to a holiday park kind of place (Center Parcs for anyone in Europe). When I was a young teenager, I was kinda chubby and didn’t get much attention from boys like some of my friends did. \n\nSo anyway, one Valentine’s Day, my family wrote a fake card from a ‘secret admirer’ guy asking me to meet him at a the central place (where all the bars and restaurants etc are). Straight away I thought it was BS and laughed it off saying yeah whatever. Well over the course of the day, my whole family (mum, stepdad and sister) basically convinced me it was real, promising they didn’t send it and just genuinely trying to convince me to go to the place we were supposed to meet. Eventually, I thought I’d just go when my younger sister said she’d come with me and we’d just hang out in the area. I wasn’t completely convinced but was convinced enough to go. \n\nSure enough, we get to the place, hang out for a bit and no one shows. All of a sudden, my mum and stepdad show up and they all start laughing saying it was a prank. I tried to laugh along but obviously I was completely humiliated. I think the worst part is that they still occasionally bring it up and laugh about it. Recently, I told them I thought it was a horrible thing to do and I actually don’t find it funny at all. They all make out I’m being being an asshole and can’t take a joke or that I’m too sensitive. \n\nSo, AITA in the sense that I should just get over it? ######","completion":" NTA- your family is honestly horrible for pulling a stunt like that. Fuck them and their feelings. You’re entitled to feel the way you do because your family, who you’re supposed to trust, decided to pull some asshole shit like that. That’s not funny at all. It further brings down any self esteem that may have had and probably created some trust issues in your immediate family. I’m sorry that happened to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife\/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.\n\nRecently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.\n\nNot too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.\n\nWhen I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.\n\nLater, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.\n\nHe told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######","completion":" NTA- Your dad shouldn’t have surprised you by having his girlfriend there. You’re already building back your delicate relationship and this hurt your trust. Prepare yourself because if he gets married again this woman will be an unavoidable part of your life (so long as your father is in your life). He finds this woman special and so he wants them to meet you. He was wrong for surprising you with her but he probably knew you wouldn’t meet her unless he made a surprise arrangement. Sounds like you have a long road of healing your relationship with your dad and this is something you both need to talk about with each other. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely broke the mower. When they gave him a manual push mower: he did it like with the vacuum.\n\nParents do some of the stuff but even I have to clean up after him. Parents say \"we cleaned up after you, it's no different than that\". \n\nYesterday this shift happened again and I refused to clean up. My Dad joked about how apparently learning to clean up after somebody else even when it shouldn't be your job is good experience to have before entering the workforce. Bruh wtf. My parents had to get the work done. \n\nAITA for refusing to do chores? ######","completion":" NTA- Your brother is learning that if he does something half assed, he can get someone else to do the work for him. Your parents should have him redo the chore until it's done right so that he starts doing the chore right the first time.\n\nIf your parents keep this up, if your brother ever has roommates they will hate him for this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first child, she’s very early on in the pregnancy.\n\n\nWe had a family meal not too long ago and I asked my brothers girlfriend how she was handling the pregnancy and if she was concerned about the babies future health?\n\nShe paused and asked what I meant so I told her; my sister has type 1 diabetes, both my parents have type 2 along with heart problems, my parents and sister have eye sight problems, my mother suffers from borderline personality whilst my father has an addictive personality (alcohol and gambling) one of my brothers has BPD, two of my brothers have autism as well, my grandfather had schizophrenia and my aunt had epilepsy.\n\nApparently my brother had told her precisely none of this and now she’s freaking out and considering terminating over it.\n\nI’ve been getting texts from family that I’ve crossed a line and shouldn’t have told her, that I should’ve pulled my brother aside and asked him if he’d told her, some are telling me if she goes ahead with ending the pregnancy they don’t want to be in my life.\n\nI myself have decided not to have biological children due to my family’s medical history.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- Your brother is denying her some very important information. There's a chance this child could have challenges later in life. There's a chance this child will be 'normal'. If I was the gf I'd be very grateful for the information, and would take this time to research ways to be prepared in case the child develops issues later on. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids. \n\nOur property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever. \n\nOur new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares. \n\nHowever, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that. \n\nWhen we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.\n\nWhen they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- you’ve pretty much explained it all perfectly why too! It’s your property so you can do what you like. You asked polity and they still kept pushing boundaries this all could’ve been avoided if they were respectful of your request and not tried to bargain with you about your land ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.\n\nBecause of everything going on it took longer than  usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.\n\nSo I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.\n\nI do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ######","completion":" NTA- you’ve extended more than enough generosity, and you’re completely right, after 30 days it will be much, much harder. You did the right thing and you had this agreement set in place with her that if you were not the father, she would have to leave. Her guilt tripping you into trying to let her stay makes her the AH imo. ######"}
{"prompt":"some background information: \nMy family owns two houses, one in Pennsylvania and one in Brooklyn. Me (M19) and my sister (F21) are staying here in Brooklyn because we didn’t want to go up to Pennsylvania with the rest of my family. My other sister and both my parents are in Pennsylvania. They wanted to go up there to get away from you know what.\n\nEver since my sister and I were by ourselves, my mom calls me 4 times a day and asks me to see if my sister is okay because she never answers my moms calls or texts. I was getting seriously annoyed because pretty much every call or text I got from my mom was her asking for me to check up on my sister. It reached a boiling point when she called me at 9AM this morning which woke me up. She told me to check to see if my sister was ok because she wasn’t answering her calls. This is where I might be the asshole. On the phone with her after I checked up on my sister I told my mom to not call or text me again if she is going to ask me to check up on my sister. She isn’t going out (everyone knows why but we can’t say it). If my sister doesn’t answer her calls or texts it’s probably because she doesn’t want to talk to you or she’s just sleeping. My mom got seriously pissed at me and hasn’t texted or called me since then. I just think it’s so annoying how I’m literally being woken up because my sister doesn’t bother to answer her phone and my mom resorts to me checking on her and this is happening like 4-5 times a day. PLEASE NOTE my sister doesn’t have depression or any mental\/physical disability she is perfectly fine, just fucking lazy. \n\nSo AITA for telling my mom to not contact me if it’s about my sister? ######","completion":" NTA- You're not your sister's babysitter, you're both adults who can take care of yourselves. She is understandably worried but it's not fair for her to take her anxiety out on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money. \n\nMy girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time. \n\nNow she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nEdit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######","completion":" NTA- you're both unemployed right now is not the time to spend $300 on any hobby. If you were both making bank my opinion would change. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm new to this so I'm just going to apologise now if I'm doing it wrong, sorry!\n\nI'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I was talking to my SO about the labour and how I hope things go smoothly because they didn't last time and I'm quite terrified. A bit of background my son was prem, it was a very difficult and traumatising birth. He spent 4 weeks in the SCBU ward.\n\nI've been reading up on things to try and make it a positive experience this time around and although I know you can't control how labour goes one of the things was to make it as different as possible to your last birth. So I listed to my partner what things I can have different this time and not having a student midwife there was one of them.\n\nWith my labour it turned into a ventouse delivery because they needed to get him out ASAP and they asked if it would be okay if the student midwife watched because he'd never witnessed one of those births before. I agreed but mainly I think because I was in so much pain and on a lot of drugs.\n\nSo this time I've said I don't want anyone there who doesn't need to be there and my SO said that would be unfair of me because I could be the reason this person takes longer to pass? (we're not so sure how becoming a qualified midwife works so we we're just guessing). I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to have anything the same as last time if I can help it. SO said he'll support me whatever as I'm the one giving birth but I've thought about it and I'm now worried AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- you wouldn't be making it harder for that student to pass. It's your delivery, you get to choose who can be in the room with you. Congratulations on the pregnancy, by the way, I hope everything goes down smoothly. Good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\n(I was \\~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \\~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me \"a little bit of it\". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ######","completion":" NTA- You shouldn’t get only 50% of your money you should get 100% since it’s YOUR money. Is it in an account with your name on it? If so I’d go withdraw it and put it on a separate account. If she refuses to give your your money legally you can sue as she doesn’t have a right to any of it. I wouldn’t take that option right away but if you’re willing to take it that far. Did you actually verify how much you were awarded? Because it could be a lot more she just doesn’t want to tell you so she can keep it. ######"}
{"prompt":"She hasn't bathed, changed clothes, or done any household things since Animal crossing\/doom released. I pre-ordered both and a few more things for her as a semi early anniversary gift and she absolutely loves them... Too much.\n\nI didn't say a word the first few days, I understand excitement but once it got close to a week I made a bath for her and she said she'd get to it later. Later as in 2 hours when the water was cold so she was no longer interested. After that I'd remind her every other day before work but no luck. I'd come home and she'd still be in the same clothes, playing something, and \"starving\" half the time because she'd get too into the game and forget to eat. I'd cook supper and hear about her day which would always be game accomplishments.\n\n She has no known mental health problems and it's definitely not depression, in fact it feels quite the opposite. She gets super happy and excited about almost anything and bad news is always faced with optimism. I knew she'd cling to the games but I would have never imagined it being this bad.\n\nToday she was able to start playing a new one I pre-ordered and admitted she's probably not leaving the room for a day or so. I outright asked that she takes a shower before she starts paying but that didn't go well because she's really looking forward to it. I had had enough. It's gross and I already moved to the couch a week ago so I explained that if she wants to live that way fine, I'll be moving to our shed (it has AC and power so it's not bad at all) until she bathes and that upset her because she felt like she was being treated like a child and being forced to do things. I told her she was acting like a child and started packing my shit. She swears I'm being \"a jerk\" and I personally feel I was slightly over dramatic but I was pushed to this point.\n\nBonus info. We're both in our mid 20s, no kids, no intent on kids, and I have a halfway decent job so she stayed at home long before the current situation. ######","completion":" NTA- you say she doesn’t have mental health issues, but trying to justify not bathing for weeks because of video game releases sounds like a mental health\/addiction\/obsession issue. ######"}
{"prompt":"So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.\n\nHe likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them\/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.\n\nThe reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.\n\nAITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######","completion":" NTA- you pay rent. It is your house live your life ######"}
{"prompt":"My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######","completion":" NTA- you know your limits and you made everything clear before you’re older brother even started watching the kids ######"}
{"prompt":"My step dad married my mom when I was 5. He never adopted me, but he's always been dad. 6 years ago, mom died. A year later, he remarried. I don't have a problem with that; I'm glad he found someone. \n\nThe new wife doesn't mind that I call her by her name, but the rest of her family is mad as he'll that I won't call her \"mom\".\n\nThe logical side of my brain is wondering, is my step dad's new wife my mom?\n\nThe emotional side says, I'm in my mid40s. I don't need a \"new\" mom. Sugar momma, maybe 😄 but I'm a grown adult, I don't need a parental figure anymore.\n\nSo aita for not calling my step dad's new wife \"mom\"? ######","completion":" NTA- you have a mom, she may not be with you anymore, be she will always be your mom. The family can mind their own friggin business. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.\n\nI asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.\n\nSomehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it. \n\nWas I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######","completion":" NTA- you gave an honest explanation of why and it was a legitimate reason. I’m so sick of people saying the only reason to miss something is “death or doctor’s note.” Bullshit. Live your life. Take care of yourself, your hair, and be happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).\n\nVery recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.\n\nI told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.\n\nThe thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.\n\nBasically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.\nI know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.\n\nTLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######","completion":" NTA- you do not have to tell her anything, ever. Focus on yourself and your fight.  *virtual hugs and good juju* ######"}
{"prompt":"Freshman year of college I lived in a triple room with 2 other girls. Roommate 1 was nice and quiet not part of story. Roommate 2 was liked to party and go out. Typical college freshman behavior. Well Around the start of October and it’s 2 am. I hear her and  her friend sneaking in didn’t think much of it not my business. Well her friend another freshman (male) starts screaming he wants his dad and starts basically sobbing and breaking down. I turn on lap to see what’s up as I’m awake by this point. Well they both dropped acid and he’s having a bad trip. He lays down in my bed shaking and I say I’m calling Police. My roommate yells at me saying she’ll get in trouble for having lsd on campus and if I was her friend I wouldn’t call. Well at this point I’m crying thinking a dudes about to die on my bed so I call cops. Kids fine and taken in hospital my roommate is given a write up by ra for drug use but that’s it. She moved out the next month and wouldn’t talk to me because I called police to help her friend. Atia for doing what I thought was right ######","completion":" NTA- you did what you thought was right and safety is more important than being written up. \n\nYou can't OD on LSD (it would be basically impossible to consume enough to OD) and you can't die from a bad trip, and there's little the police could do to help- BUT you don't know for sure that your friend took LSD. They said they did but it could've been laced which is dangerous, or they could've done other drugs in combination with it and not told you, etc. The friend could have undisclosed medical problems, like epilepsy, that could make it dangerous, etc.  So even though a true pure acid trip isn't generally dangerous (physically) in a controlled setting, you had no way of knowing if there was actually danger or not, so calling the police or an ambulance is the safe (and correct) choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m on mobile so I apologize. (22f)\n\nSo (big surprise) I’ve been having a ton of trouble finding a job during COVID. Since I just graduated from college, I’ve been applying everywhere to any job I can think of that’s remote or in my state. I heard back from a few but nothing was working out. \n\nThen, a few days ago I heard from this one company that claimed to be a big financial firm. I agreed to a phone interview and they sent me a few videos about the history of the company and the set up and compensation and etc. I watched them when they were sent to me so about 6 hours before my interview. \n\nThe guy called me and we started talking. Right away he’s condescending, saying things like “I didn’t girls even understood economics” (I was an econ major). He then took to quizzing me on these two videos. I mean full on test format. When I couldn’t remember the exact year the company was founded and the names of all the founders, he said “yeah I’m just trying to figure out if you even watched our videos or if you were off wasting your time”. Between this and his blatant sexism, I couldn’t take it. I just hung up. \n\nMy friends think I’m TA here because a job is a job no matter how miserable. I think I made the right choice. After all, I don’t want to work somewhere with THIS being the first impression. Plus I rewatched one of the videos and this is 100% an MLM. \nBut still, I feel a little bad. So Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- you did the right thing. Honestly, I'd look into reporting him or leaving reviews on job sites about this encounter so other people can avoid this disaster of a company. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).\n\nVery recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.\n\nI told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.\n\nThe thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.\n\nBasically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.\nI know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.\n\nTLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######","completion":" NTA- you clearly don’t have a good relationship with your mother, and she isn’t obligated to know anything about your life. That said, I can understand why people might be urging you to tell her. She is your mom, and if you ever want to have a relationship with her in the future, not telling her about this is going to ruin that chance. You just have to weigh that choice. \n\nI’m so sorry that your cancer has become family drama. You don’t deserve that. Praying for health and peace as you start treatment. We’re here for you! ######"}
{"prompt":"We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap. \n\nMy bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary. \n\nNow the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save. \n\nThis is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing\/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on. \n\nAITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings? \n\nTL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ######","completion":" NTA- you aren't married, and it's not your fault that you're frugal and a good financial planner. Those who are the best at saving money  live a \"broke life\", regardless of their savings. Its none of his business. He should be taking pointers, not getting upset. ######"}
{"prompt":"The title might be a little confusing.\nMy brother's  room is in the living room and it is separate from the rest of the living room with a curtain. But you can hear everything that's going on in the living room. Yesterday there was a movie on TV that I wanted to watch. I had informed my brother that I'd be watching the movie at least a week before he was  fine with it.\nHalfway through the movie he comes home in a bad mood and asks me to leave the living room and go watch the movie somewhere else (the only other way to watch the movie was with my laptop but I can't watch for hours in a small screen) . I refuse to leave. He starts to yell and hit his hand against a bookshelf we have in the living room trying to get me to ho I still didn't leave. He has been passive aggressive since.\nAITA for not leaving? ######","completion":" NTA- you already told him you would be watching the movie and he accepted it. Your brother needs some anger management though. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some days ago one of my long term “friends” called my mother a cow for no reason in our group chat. He had been saying that to me and some other friends some for some days prior and we told him he was going too far and to stop because it was rude. He kept doing it and I once again told him to stop and that I’d fight him if he ever did it again. \n\nSo a couple of days later we were talking about Bernie Sanders dropping and I asked who they were planning on voting now. He said “ur mom” then in another message added “who happens to be a cow” so I told him off, told him I’d fight him if I ever saw him again, and kicked him out of the chat. I later asked him if he had a problem with me or why he was saying that about my mother and he said he was doing it because he thought it was funny and apologized but I didn’t accept his apology as I had already told him to stop and he had crossed the line for being unnecessarily rude. \n\nNow the rest of my “friends” are defending him saying he was just joking and they invited him back and now they are treating me like I am the asshole for not forgiving him. I then left the group chat and I haven’t talked to any of them since. Honestly I think I can’t be friends with anyone who can’t respect my mom especially after she did nothing but be super nice to all my friends. ######","completion":" NTA- WTF is wrong with your friend (and your other friends for defending him). I would ask your other friends if THEY would like it if he said that about their loved ones. Absolutely within your rights to kick the guy to the curb. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy (f17) sister and her (m37) husband are currently staying with us, My sister and I get along very well, But her husband is a jerk, he's a sarcastic asshole who doesn't care about other people's feelings, This is one of the many reasons why I don't like him so much.\n\nSo last night BIL was laying on the couch watching CNN, While I was scrolling through reddit and having a bit of fun, My sister shouted from the kitchen when she was done with the dishes and told my BIL to take the trash out, He turned to me and said:\n\nBIL: (my name) go take the trash out.\nMe: But she TOLD you to take the trash out!\nBIL: Yes, I'm not deaf, I heard what she just said, But I'm TELLING YOU NOW to take the trash out, I suppose you're not deaf either, are ya?\n\nI tried to keep my cool and ignore him.\n\nMe: I'm sorry, I thought that this is a man's job!.\n\nBIL: You're a girl??? (Sarcastically)\n\nWhen he said that I knew he was making fun of my new pixie haircut that I did at home cause I couldn't go to the salon and wanted to try something new.\n\nMe: Are you still making fun of my haircut?.\n\nBIL: Will you do it if I said no?\n\nMe: Unbelieveble!\n\nI get off the couch, took the trash from under the kitchen sink and head out.\n\nOn my out, BIL suggested that I dress up and take a selfie of myself next to the trashpin and post it on facebook, you guys have no idea how humiliated that made me feel, I don't care if it's a social media trend, he just humiliated me, he once asked for my opinion on a political matter than he made fun of me, and called me a liberal dum dum, made fun of my new phone case, and criticized my cooking which is the reason why I don't cook anymore.\nI told my sister and she said i was just overreacting and that she'll get him to take the trash out next time. ######","completion":" NTA- WOW your sister has horrible taste in men. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food. \n\nso i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.\n\nwhen the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off \"she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!\". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.\n\nlike.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?\n\naita for skipping the line? ######","completion":" NTA- work smarter, not harder ######"}
{"prompt":"As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!\n\nI don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense. \n\nFast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.  \n\nNow, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell. \n\nI told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin. \n\nSo, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)\n\nThey were argumentative, so I told my cousin. \n\nOf course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result. \n\nSomebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.  \n\nAITA, and if so, why? ######","completion":" NTA- why is it a societal norm to keep children from knowing there adopted? It’s kind of ridiculous if you ask me.\n\nYour cousin is a grown ass woman she can handle the truth that she’s adopted. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 28F and my parents just don't know how to cut the cord. Part of this is due to my 35 year old brother who has been and still is reliant on them. It's more my father than my mother and it's gotten exponentially worse since I bought my own home. I am completely self sufficient and have never asked their help for ANYTHING save maybe an opinion here or there. I am lucky enough to financially maintain my own lifestyle because I work hard to do so. My dad believes everything is an open invitation for him to take control of my life.  \n  \nI do not want to seem ungrateful because he has done a ton for me with the only caveat being that I never fucking asked for it! When I was first moving into my home he would randomly pop over with this trinket or that furniture that I never even wanted and still don't to this day. It has caused many an arguement and I've even thought about changing the locks on my door. I never even gave him a key by the way, he made a copy of the one I had given my mother to hang on to in case of emergencies. I don't want any of the shit he gives me and I don't need the charity. I just want to live my own life.  \n  \nThe final straw happened today. I'm a nurse, and I work back to back night shift this week. After a grueling 14 hour shift I was finally able to relax enough to close my eyes only to be woken up about 3 hours later by neighbors landscaping. Aggravating but whatever I can't control other people. After tossing and turning I felt like the sound was getting closer...because it was! It was not my neighbors. My father and brother took it upon themselves to come and mow\/weedwhip my lawn. I'm literally laying here crying because I'm so tired, aggravated, and just genuinely pissed off.   \n  \nI don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat but Jesus Christ I just want my boundaries respected. Am I wrong to feel this way? ######","completion":" NTA- while I don't think they necessarily have ill intentions, they definitely lack boundaries. Since it isn't such a clear cut situation of someone wronging someone else, it is hard to bring up to the offender. Your father seems to be trying to be kind to you, it is over bearing and uncomfortable, but I expect he will be very sensitive to hear your dislike. That being said, the fact he thinks all of this is ok despite your disapproval (leading to your past arguments) makes him the asshole in this situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy. \n\nAlice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to \"do things right\" and \"provide the best start in life\" (their views, not mine). \n\nSo they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.\n\nHowever, when I said \"sure\", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package. \n\nBut Alice &amp; Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier\/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.\n\nWIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######","completion":" NTA- WHAT? They want you to have sex with your brother in law? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I can’t even begin to start with all the ways that’s absolutely wrong. So I’ll say this, unless they started the first conversation out with “We want you to pay you to have sex with BIL, and then get pregnant.”, then absolutely not. Also, there’s no guarantee you’ll get pregnant that way either. At least with doctors they plan for the best times and take everything into account. \n\nAlso, just yuck. Again. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?\n\n\nMy father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities\n\nTheir daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.\n\nShe wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.\n\nIt's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.\n\nI understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.\n\nAITA ? ######","completion":" NTA- what you’re doing is amazing, make sure you don’t burn yourselves out, make time for yourselves to relax when possible ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm married and have a 10yo son and a 11yo step-son. I don't have much of a relationship with my step-son's mom. I don't think she likes me. Fortunately, my son and step-son grew up together so they get along, go to the same school and hang out with the same friends. I went to go pick up my son from the park and my step-son was going to be picked up by his mom for the week. I didn't want to leave my step-son all by himself at the park so I stayed. His mom was suppose to be there at 4PM and it was already 4:30PM with no word from her. I tried calling, texting and emailing. Nothing. My husband on a plane so he wasn't going to pick up. \n\nI ended taking both kids back to our house. Around 5PM, I get a call from my step-son's mom bitching at me over taking her son back home. I explained that we waited an hour and tried to contact her. I didn't want to leave him all by himself at the park. She said I had no right to do that and I should have moved mountains to get my husband on the phone to discuss. There had been a miscommunication between her and my husband as my husband - he was in a different timezone when they coordinated his pickup so he was off by an hour. She used that hour to go to a spa hence her unavailability. My messages got buried under other messages. She said she was scared that something happened to her only child and I should have contacted her again and it was an asshole thing to do. ######","completion":" NTA- What would have been an A H move is to leave an 11 year old alone at a park. You did the right thing, and his mom should be grateful that you kept her son safe. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my Mum and Dad moved about 5 hours away from me a few years ago to go and live by the sea.\n\nRecently with everything going on they’ve started making plans for what they’re planning when they’re no longer with us.\nSo the other night my mum FaceTimed me because she’s been planning all this stuff and asked me if something happened would I look after my 10 year old brother, I said of course I would I’d be more than happy to have him come live with me.\n\nAs a background I’m 25, married with a two year old son, we live close to my in laws because to be honest they’re brilliant, when we’re at work they look after him to save us on childcare fees and generally help us with a lot of other stuff.\n\nWell this didn’t go down well at all, my mum instantly shot me down saying no I would have to move to their house and live there to make it easier on my brother.\nI said I understand that but it’s not possible, my job and support structure is here I can’t just uproot my life if something did happen. \n\nMy mum started getting really angry saying she knew I wouldn’t help them and that they would agree with my younger brother (22) to look after my little brother but not to expect anything from them when they die because I won’t deserve it.\n\nI shot back with that’s totally fine by me, if it comes with strings I don’t want or need anything from them. My mum then hung up on me.\n\nNow they’re not talking to me at all, all I’ve had is a message from my dad saying that they’re both extremely disappointed that I couldn’t put my little brother first.\n\nA couple of friends I’ve told this to have said I’m in the wrong because I’m not willing to help as much as I can and how much this would impact my brothers but I’m still pretty resolute I’ve done nothing wrong.\n\nSo Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- what on earth?  Your mom is mad because in a hypothetical situation of both her and your father passing in the next eight years you would not be willing to move your whole family to take care of your brother?  This is ridiculous.  I wouldn’t think you were an asshole for not wanting to care for him at all, but you are perfectly willing to take him in!  Your mom is being ridiculous, she is either an asshole or histrionic, maybe both. ######"}
{"prompt":"When applying to college my brother wrote an essay about something that he did, except it was a lie. The story he told was mine. It was about how I used to make potions to heal people out of household ingredients. About how that showed caring and empathy. I heard about this and asked him not to write the essay and to write it about something else.\n\nHe ignored me and months later submitted the essay. I ignored it for a while but finally brought it up because it bothered me. He stood his ground harshly and asked him to see my side. Told him that I value my identity and value myself in part by the things that I have done and the stories that I can tell.\n\nI asked him to not respond because anything he would say would make me upset and I have a lot of work due tomorrow.\n\nAm I the asshole for :\n\nA) Asking him to re-write his college essay\n\nand\n\nB) Bringing back up after it was already submitted? ######","completion":" NTA- what if you wanted to use that same story and then get accused of plagiarism? ######"}
{"prompt":"Background. I am a 19 year old female and live with my parents while I go to college. One night I am messing around on my computer in the dinning room. My step-father walks behind me and stops. I look around on he has his face right next to my neck kinda smelling me. I say \"stop it\" cause it's weird. He walks off saying something like \"shut up\" in a slightly annoyed tone. I felt some guilt for reacting like that. He then walks outside saying to my mom that I'm in a mood or something. I'm wondering if I was overrating but he know I don't exactly like being touched. We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said \"get a fucking life.\" My mum said that I hurt his feelings so I apologized. So am I the asshole, and should I apologize this time? ######","completion":" NTA- this sounds insanely creepy. \n\nAlso,\n\n>We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said \"get a fucking life.\"\n\nThis is very creepy as well and his response is aggressive for no reason. What \/ where was he even doing for you to tell him off for touching you? \nHonestly I'd get out if it's possible. If not I'd avoid him entirely. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my friend is planning her wedding, she scrapped what they already were planning because of the virus and moved the date. She already has a dress and is planning the theming again, and she asked me if she could wear my necklace because she thinks it goes well with the dress and the other stuff.\n\nNow my necklace was a gift from my husband, he had it custom made by his uncle, and it’s one of those couples necklaces where the fit together, but it’s in a special shape from a project we were doing together while we were engaged. It’s kind of cheesy but I think it’s really sweet that he thought of that and it’s pretty personal to me. I wouldn’t lend it to my friend normally but especially at her wedding, I don’t know it would feel wrong having her wear something my husband had made personally for me.\n\nI told my friend no, and she got annoyed and said what are friends for. I explained my reasoning and she called me silly and that it’s just a necklace and I should just lend it to her for one day, and that it’s not going to kill me. She brought up that I’ve borrowed clothes and jewelry from her in the past, and she’s used mine in the past, but I feel that this specific necklace would be a bit like her wearing my engagement ring during her wedding.\n\nShe’s mad at me now, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- this isn’t some cheap Claire’s fashion necklace. This is a sentimental, future heirloom piece. It’s odd that she would even want to borrow it, being that it has meaning for another couple. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently, our street has started sharing what more or less amounts to hobby gift baskets with eachother. It started as a \"everyone's stircrazy, surprise, there's cookies on your doorstep.\" one-off, but because of reciprocation and a little bit of oneupsmanship, its become a weekly thing to get a basket from someone on the street, either fresh vegetables or jam or cookies(or in my case, wine. this is important for later). Out of roughly 20 homes, 9 or 10 of us take part in this gift swap.  \n\n\nThis week, some homemade cherry wine(with cherries from the backyard) was what I dropped off everywhere. So about a case of free wine. The following day, I got a nastygram from one of the neighbors, explaining that \"while the gift was appreciated, it was disappointing to not include something for her children.\"  \n\n\nEveryone got the same exact thing, a bottle of wine. This was clearly for the household, not for any one member of the house. Just \"hey, thinking of the neighbors. have some wine.\" Talking to my next door neighbor, she says she can see where nastygram neighbor was coming from, I could have easily added some fresh cherries for the kids, but the email wasn't necessary.  \n\n\nI'm in the I'm not the asshole camp, obviously. Free wine is free wine. I don't have to go out of my way to tailor gifts to everyone. ######","completion":" NTA- This isn’t a requirement of quarantine this is a kind gesture. You gave a gift, you didn’t exclude. ######"}
{"prompt":"im a 14 year old high school freshman and my mom and i were just having a conversation like normal, but then she asked me whether or not i’d let her live with me when i was an adult and got married. i answered no because if i were to be married, the only people i’d want to live with are my wife and my kids (if i had any), and it’s likely that my would-be-wife would agree with me.\n\nbut my mom then got upset and kept accusing me of not wanting to care for her when she grew old but i explained that i wouldn’t want to live with her but i would still take care of her. she continued and compared me to my older sister, who said that she’d be fine with letting my mom live with her and her husband.\n\ni don’t think i’m an ass but she’s really upset at that and there’s this weird tension between us now ######","completion":" NTA- this is a ridiculous conv to have with a 14 year old ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them \"I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like \"I have plans with friends,\" or \"I need to do my homework,\" but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied \"You shouldn't have.\", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######","completion":" NTA- they shouldn’t have kids if they can’t take care of them themselves or hiring somebody to, especially if it was putting an obstacle between you and your education. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello. A little bit of context about the whole situation - I live in a country in which there is a recent influx of immigrants. I know how it is to be an immigrant myself, so do my parents. I happen to know 4 languages, this will come into the story later.\nI have a coworker in her 50s, who is in general an okay person. She arrived to the country 5 years ago, and has made absolutely no improvement in her language, nor wants to. At first, she asked me for help a couple of times at mundane things I can do through the internet, for example passport extension, changing an address for an ISP, and several more things which I won't mention. However, later on she started asking more annoying things, she wanted me to help her join a car insurance firm, disconnect her from her cable TV company, and other tasks which I did. I understand that she takes my kindness for weakness, yet I'm not a complete asshole so I obliged to help.\nI completely snapped however when someone told me that both of her daughters have husbands who speak the language fluently, and I immediately confronted her about it. In my opinion, this is complete nonsense that someone can use a person like that, a person that is not even their friend. It feels like I wasted hours on a person that could have asked 2 other people for help. \nAm I the asshole? I hate being used like that. ######","completion":" NTA- They make no effort why should you. ######"}
{"prompt":"This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light.\n\nI (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular)\n\nI didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled \"Hey chocolate boy!\" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black).\n\nThey didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment.\n\nI smiled and casually replied back \"You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?\" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away.\n\nMy friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was \"unwarranted and inappropriate\".\n\nIn my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ######","completion":" NTA- They made a rude remark, and you made it into a joke that basically gave the idea that you didn’t take them seriously and were messing with them. I think you honestly handled it really well, because they were trying to get you upset or mad. They had it coming. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we were all watching the news together (my sister, my mom, my dad and i).\n\nAnd there was this part where it reported that muslims still liked to fly over their dead to their country of origin and bury them there (i’m from belgium). Personally I didn’t think it was a big deal but my mom just stated:\n\n“At least they take their trash back”\n\nI was shocked obviously and spoke up. I told her that it was no different than any other person wanting to be buried (or have their ashes spread out) anywhere specific like the ocean or in their favourite country. And that saying if their dead are trash would mean that if grandma died she would be just trash too in her eyes, if you follow her logic.\n\nWell everybody got mad at me and saying that it was just some passive aggressive way of what they call ‘reverse racism’\n\nAnd now everybody is mad at me and wont talk to me, mostly about the grandma remark i think, so i feel bad ‘cause that was really harsh of me. But then again so was calling someone elses loved one trash.\nSo am i in the wrong here and should I apologize? ######","completion":" NTA- they are gaslighting you for calling them on their racism. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my schedule is I buy wings etc wing special on Monday every so often. 24 wings for $17.88. I eat this as dinner for 3 days, 8 wings per diner.  Its a relatively low cost meal that I enjoy. Recently, they added a $2 tip on my bill that I didn't authorize. I would =nt mind so much, except that I only had $18 dollars in my account. So since they charged mycard for $19.88, my bank hit me with a $33 overdraft fee. I later deposited $50 to cover another bill but because of the overdraft fee I was short, and was hit with another over draft fee, so a total of $66 because someone thought they deserved a $2 tip. SO I called the store manager , and they said the would get back to me, but know they won't answer my calls. So I called the corporate office, and talked to someone there. They know me because I used to be their UPS delivery driver. From the tone of the conversation, I feel the person responsible for overcharging me is going to get fired. I kind of feel bad now, all I really wanted was my moneyback and an apology, maybe some free wings. I m torn because I'm a people pleaser and like to make everyone happy, but at the same time  I feel I was taken advantage of when i really couldn't afford it. I also cant help but think she does this to others as well. ######","completion":" NTA- the unauthorized tip caused you financial hardship ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.\n\nEnd of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.\n\nI've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- the teacher didn’t sound understanding at all. With everything going on in the world, online classes and online assignments are bound to have some bugs. You turned in your assignment and deserve credit for it. Your teacher is TA for making you escalate the situation when you had proof from the beginning. ######"}
{"prompt":"Since March 1, we are at home because of the Coronavirus and since the beginning of March that my 17-year-old brother stays up until 8am playing video games and wakes up at 8pm, I understand that there it's nothing to do, it's routine, but he spends the evening eating.\n\nHe barely having finished his supper that he opens the fridge and looks for something else to eat, and he does this every 1 hour until that he sleeps. He has gained weight, and does not go out for a short walk or even to do sports in the\nhouse. We all tell him that it is not good for his health but he does not listen to anyone. \n\nI then ordered a lock (luckily our fridge is 2 doors) lock the fridge after the dessert he has eaten after supper. He is very angry and says that it is abuse but I do this for his good, I intend to unlock it after some hours have passed at least. \n\nAITA for doing that?\nPS : Sorry for my english. ######","completion":" NTA- the bro has an eating problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment complex right next to a creek trail. I walk my dog on it almost every day. It’s really nice, except for the fact that my upstairs neighbor never picks up after her dog. I’ve seen her out the window neglecting to pick it up when her dog poops. It infuriated me because it makes the trail smelly and unpleasant. I know her dog’s size and shape of poop and I have stepped in it multiple times. Now, I might have cut her some slack if she was a nice person, but she is not. She glares at me when I walk by, and is overall very short-tempered. When I asked her about the shit once, she told me to fuck off. Not to mention the fact that she makes an ungodly amount of noise at 12am which often keeps me up. Basically, I had had enough. The next day, before her usual walk time, I made a bunch of little flags using sticks and paper, and put her dog’s name on them. Then, I walked down the trail and put a flag on each of the deposits. I watched from my window as she passed each shit, looking confused and angry. Later, I got a knock on my door, and opened it to find Pam, irate and saying that I had been immature and petty, which I admit I may have been. However, it was very satisfying to see her get what was coming to her. I know it wasn’t very nice, but do the ends justify the means? ######","completion":" NTA- thats just hilarious. You didnt do anything actually mean ( in my opinion anyways). Now if you picked up the poop and left it at her doorway I might say ur the A. But what you did was not only hilarious but also very creative.\n\nQuestion...what happen after? Are the poops still there with the flags in them? ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) were in the middle of foreplay when I pulled back his for skin and saw it was a little bit ( just a little bit ) gross. I asked him if he could clean it before we went any further and he responded by saying “can we not just have sex then go shower?” To which I said that’s unsanitary and I didn’t want to. He then threw a hissy, stated the mood was gone because of me and he didn’t want to have sex anymore. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- that could give you an infection. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that. \n\nIt’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ######","completion":" NTA- Tell the owners. She is acting like a dam child. Please leave her. She just refused to not have someone else cat? The hell is wrong with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I came to live with my parents in Alaska when Universities told their students to go home and I just graduated. Even though I’m on social security, I still managed to save some money for an emergency. I had to leave all of my home goods in the lower 48 and I’m expected to pay for my vehicle and possessions to be driven here. But that’s not the issue.\nMy sister and her fiancé decided to move back home too because of some hard financial hits and coronavirus cutting her work hours. I asked if I could move in with her when the time comes because generally just want to get a different job and don’t want to live with my parents anymore. I told her I would help pay rent and that we would have strictly roommate relationship rules. She didn’t say anything at first, but a couple days later asked to borrow money from me for the entire deposit, I said yes and that’s when she informed me I wouldn’t be allowed to move with her.\n\nSo I’m wanting to know if I would be the asshole if I told her I changed my mind about loaning her the money? I already said I would, I know she’s in a financial situation and I’ll probably never see the money again, but what she did really just... yeah. ######","completion":" NTA- tell her you need the money for your own deposit, since you won’t be living with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got an IUD in August and told my mom I was getting it, she paid because i’m her daughter and she wanted to. \nFast forward to October and my mom calls me at college and says she has a funny story. Mind you, we both tend to joke about my dad because he’s a character and they’re divorced. She says that my dad found out about the IUD because he saw paperwork that i had in my car that he was cleaning out while i was away. HE WAS FURIOUS. He called me mom and yelled at her over the phone about how i have an IUD and my mom was like “oh yeah i knew about that” and then my dad proceeded to yell at her for not telling him and she was like “she’s 18 and it’s not my place to tell you about her reproductive choices.” My dad is acting as if I needed his permission for this. I didn’t even need to tell my mom in the first place, but i chose to because we’re close like that. Anyways, this was a while ago but it still sits weird with me. He has no say in the matter. I don’t like that my dad felt obligated to know about this personal aspect of my life especially because he’s otherwise a very progressive, liberal man so it doesn’t really make sense as to why he’s trying to police my goddamn uterus. Idk thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA- sounds like your dad is having a hard time transitioning seeing you as a child to an adult. He sees you as the little girl and doesn’t want to think about you having sex. He will eventually get over it but was probably shocked that you are even having sex. Give him a bit of a break, at least he didn’t confront you and have a very awkward conversation. Good for you for taking the initiative and getting on birth control. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all. \nI am 21 y\/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”. \n\nTo her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line. \nShe never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted. \n\nI’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her. \n\nToday I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- she's old enough to know how to behave. Feel free to point that out to her next time she gets inappropriate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me [18M] and my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for 2 and a half years. We trust and love each other a ton. I have nude photos of her on my phone. My twin sister [18F] a few days ago snooped through my phone and found the pictures. I'm angry at her for invading me and my girlfriend's privacy, and feel guilty for not better protecting my phone and thus exposing my girlfriend. I have since put a passlock on my phone as well as the folder with her naked pictures. \n\n\nMy sister says she snooped cause she was bored, wanted to see my pictures, and accidentally stumbled upon the nudes. I suspect she may have looked for my gf's nudes on purpose but either way its fucked up.  As far as I know, she didn't see my nudes (hopefully yikes). My sister is gay and has a girlfriend [17F] of almost a year. I'll call my sister \"M\". Since then M has been making a lot of comments on the pictures and my girlfriend to me. This really upsets me and I think its super disrespectful. Things she has said include:\n\n\n\" Damn she's hot, a solid 9\"\n\"Her boobs are almost as nice as mine\"\n\"If I was single, I could get with her\"\n\"She has a nice pussy\"\n\"You don't deserve that body\"\n\n\nI keep telling her to shut the fuck and stop disrespecting my girlfriend but she wouldn't stop. So I told her if she keeps making these comments I'd tell her girlfriend what she's doing but she didn't believe me and didn't stop. So I texted her girlfriend a screenshot of some of the creepy stuff M has texted me about my girlfriend and told her what M was doing.\n\n\nM is now furious at me because her gf got super mad at her. She says I might have cost her, her relationship.\n\n\nI didn't and don't want to tell my parents as I didn't want to out my sister as gay to them, and they would flip out if they knew I was exchanging nudes \n\n\nDid I overreact or go overkill involving her girlfriend? ######","completion":" NTA- She's being disgusting to your partner, if I was being spoken about like that, i'd want to know. I think it was a good flag to send to her partner, because comments like that are REALLY signs that there may be some issues that lie in the relationship ######"}
{"prompt":"so basically when i was born, my grandpa set up a bank account for me in my mum’s name (since people under 13 can’t have an account in their name). thing is, my mum stole the money. she was mad at my dad so she took me and my little sister on a holiday using the money from that bank account. i was about 6 at the time and don’t remember much about the trip. i had no idea until last year. \n\nwhen i first found out about it from my dad, i confronted her and she deflected it back onto me because she paid for a school trip that i went on. the trip was a few thousand dollars so i let it go at the time, but recently my dad told me that the value would have been about $15k by now if it hadn’t been touched. my mum has spent a lot of money on me but i feel a bit cheated\n\nmy mum refuses to admit to it. she blames my dad’s family for telling me and says that she’s “hurt i keep bringing it up”. i love my mum but she broke my trust. i think that because i was little she thought i wouldn’t ever find out. i don’t even want the money back at this point, i just want her to apologise and admit that she wronged me. i told her that i wouldn’t see her again until she did so, and that i’m not seeing her on mother’s day. \n\nmy step dad thinks i’m being unfair, and my mum will give me money if i just let the apology go. AITA? should i just accept the money and get over it? ######","completion":" NTA- she stole from you. It doesn’t matter if it was used on you, she stole it. She broke your and your grandfathers trust. She owes you an apology at a minimum. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life. \n\nMy mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.\n\nI used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.\n\nNormally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.\n\nNow, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.\n\nMom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.\n\nFinally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet. \n\nYesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.\n\nAm I really being disrespectful?\n\nAITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ######","completion":" NTA- she sounds controlling her concern doesn't sound like real concern. She got onto you for making a healthy choice to fix your 'issue'. It sounds like she is bullying you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife wants us to compete in a weight loss competition, so it can make it easier for her.\n \nThe thing is, I can’t healthily lose any weight. I’m just 5 pounds from being underweight. I still do work out to become more fit, but I don’t lose weight.\n \nMy wife is slightly overweight. She wants to come down to a healthier level, which I wholeheartedly support. But, I can’t bring myself to compete in something that I can’t possibly win at. My wife thinks that this is unfair, and that is competing will make it easier for her.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- she should consider your health and you're doing the right thing. However, maybe compete, you gain, she loses? ######"}
{"prompt":"I won a national scholarship for excelling in my A levels so my high school had a ceremony honouring the 9 of us from our year who did and also invited the parents of everyone. My mother decided that it's just a small ceremony, wasn't important and no other parent would really bother to go so she just dropped me off and went to the gym.\n\nIt turns out that every parent came and I was the only one alone but I just worked with it. When I arrived home she asked if any other parent was there and I said yes. She asked how many and I said all others. She said I made her look bad for not calling her to come. My father said the same thing.\n\nSo AITA for not calling and telling her to come to the ceremony ######","completion":" NTA- she didn’t want to go just because it was a small ceremony. But in reality it’s a an academic accomplishment she should have been proud of and to be there to support you would have been the proper thing to do as a parent. To get mad at your for not calling her and telling her to come back is just ridiculous. Congratulations btw and NTA NTA NTA! ######"}
{"prompt":"Follow up on my previous post[here](https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/AmItheAsshole\/comments\/di82hm\/aita_told_moms_boyfriend_was_being_a_cnt\/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)\n\nBasically I (19m) got into a fight with my mums boyfriend after he berated me for disrespecting my mother for there being clothes pegs on the ground and it ended with him calling me a little asshole and me saying he’s being a c*nt. Realising this blowup would wreck my mums relationship I tried to apologise twice, one of those times in front of my mum to prove I was being sincere.\n\nHe broke up with my mother for the second time in a month over this and said they could get back together if she kicks me out of the house immediately. She called up her family and caused all this drama to try and kick me out and although most were sympathetic they said I should leave. So after my semester at uni finished last year I have left home and am living with a flat mate and my sister who’s relationship with my mum is also strained.\n\nMy mother never got together with her boyfriend and has met a new guy who is amazing and hates the last boyfriend for what he did. \n\nMy mum has pretended like she never kicked me out and we still see each other every week for dinner. She never apologised for choosing her boyfriend over me and it’s always bugged me knowing she doesn’t have my back. My relationship with her side of the family is pretty strained now and although I love my mum and tried to work things out with her it’s been 6 months since I left home and I still kind of resent her.\n\nWIBTA if I cut her off? ######","completion":" NTA- she did this to herself not you. By choosing her a-hole of a boyfriend over you and turning her side of the family against you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I broke up a month ago and we met up to exchange each other’s belongings. I was with her for three years. \n\nOne of my things I had left at her’s accidentally was my necklace that belonged to my grandfather, valued around $600. I asked her several times to remember to bring it and she said she would. \n\nWe meet up and she completely forgets the necklace and even tells me she lost it. This is heart breaking because it has a lot of sentimental value and I haven’t lost any of her belongings. I beg for her to check her place again but she insists she lost it, it is gone. \n\nI asked her to front me $300 if she lost my necklace to help pay for a new one. I’m not expecting the full cost of the necklace. She says absolutely not, and that it’s tough luck she lost it. She said this makes me seem like a gold digger asking her for the cash. She comes from an extremely wealthy family ($300 is nothing) and I come from a lower middle class household. \n\nAITA for asking her to front the money for a sentimental item of mine SHE lost? ######","completion":" NTA- she “lost” something valuable to you, the fact that she refuses to own up to that speaks volumes about her integrity and maturity. I’m glad she’s your ex now ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have pretty horrendous eyesight. Well, I used to, because I got LASIK pretty recently. Because of this, I have a habit of leaning closer to the TV or laptop screen or whatever while I’m watching TV. When I say leaning I’m just sitting straight upwards and not leaning back into the couch or bed or whatever. Even after my surgery I haven’t lost the habit and I just lean in when I get really into the show. Idk why but it’s always bothered her. First she said that my posture was bad but when I pointed out to her that my posture is great (by virtue of me sitting with my back straight upwards) and the fact that hers is far worse than mine (her back is curved because of this), she backed off of that excuse. But then she never let go of the issue. For the life of me I don’t know why she has such a problem with it. I should also note that I’ve asked her if I’m blocking her from the screen and she says that I don’t. But she just. Won’t. Stop. It’s gotten worse and more frequent because we’re at home more now and we spend a lot of our time watching Netflix together. I’ve asked her to please stop, I’m doing nothing wrong, etc etc.\n\nSo today she was doing it again. I asked her to stop and she does for a while. Then I get up to pee and when I come back she grips my shoulder and pulls me backwards and at this point I can’t help myself and yell at her to leave me alone and eff off and I don’t know why it bothers you so much that I’m sitting straight up or leaning forward, it’s not hurting either me or you. She actually burst into tears and said she’s going for a walk and some fresh air. She hasn’t been back for a while and now I’m getting a bit worried. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- others on here say you shouldn't have yelled at her and made her cry, but I think that's BS.  People yell at each other, and its sexist to say you should have kept your wits about you when she laid HANDS on you and physically tried to get you to do what she wanted.  \n\nThis should be  a non-issue.  She made it an issue.  You arent an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"know this sounds horrible but there's background. \nI've been married 20 years and I've never been close to her. She skips over our kids on holidays and hasn't acknowledged a birthday, except her own, for about 5 years. My husband, her son, doesn't speak to her because of verbal abuse he had from her growing up. My nieces and nephew (18, 19 and 21) also don't speak to her because she is an awful toxic person. \nIn Feburary she texted me that she had breast cancer. Being a nurse, I jumped into action and got her set up with a visiting nurse, meals on wheels and a housekeeper. I brought her to her first appt so I could understand what type and the treatment options as she refuses to wear hearing aids and has a 6th grade education. I followed up with her brother who lives nearby and relayed what he needs to do to help her. \nThen came her first chemo appointment.  It was 4 and a half hours. She introduced me as \"her ride\" and \"the bitch\" to everyone who came in then sat on her phone talking to \"her real daughter in law\" being my husband's ex that he hadnt seen since they broke up in 1998, about me. Never said thank you. Then I got her home and walked her dog then gave him a bath. Cleaned her house and got her set up with ensure drinks and whatever she needed. Still no thank you. \nNow, I'm in the mindset of she has cancer and she can do or say anything she wants right now. My husband is livid. I didnt even tell him half of it. The more I thought about it the more I just want to wash my hands of it and pass the responsibility to her brother (hes nice but equally ignorant).\nWould i be a horrible person? I'm just over her ignorant shitty behavior. ######","completion":" NTA- omfg woman, you must be an incredibly compassionate nurse because you have already gone so above and beyond for this monster-in-law, it’s crazy!   Use the 4 1\/2 hours for a spa day next time, and let her “real” daughter in law take her nasty ass to chemo. You’ve more than earned a break! ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1\/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.\n\nLiving with her was detrimental to my mental\/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.\n\nShe's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.\n\nToday, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######","completion":" NTA- obviously her situation is awful But, at the end of the day, that is not your fault. You don't need to let anyone live with you who causes you more anxiety than joy. Maybe offer her some support in other ways, by visiting her a few times a week, keeping her spirits up, etc etc. But, at the end of the day, you are not obligated to do anything, ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened maybe 10 min ago at the park, I own a shiba inu, if you know anything about the breed they are not like most dogs in a lot of aspects, I have owned several of them one who I got a little older who had some very bad aggression issues but after years of training and love became one of the best dogs I have ever owned. Also I have worked in humane societies and have a certificate through the AKC to train dogs ( not saying a am the dog whisperer or some crap). This lady walks up to me and asks what kind of dog I have and I tell her a shiba inu and she responds by telling me that is the type of dog her and her husband have been looking into getting and if could tell her anything about the breed? I explained good and bad aspects of the dog for a min or two and asked if she had ever owned dogs before which she replied no and I said I usually wouldn’t suggest someone getting this breed as a first time dog owner which at that point she became noticeably upset and snapped back with telling me that I am extremely rude for telling her she shouldn’t get a certain kind of dog when she doesn’t even know her and walked off.\nWhen I left I wondered if I was being to harsh or not? ######","completion":" NTA- Nah, I wish more people gave honest real advice, I hate when people say “Yeah sure get a husky even though you live in an apartment” in an effort to try to be polite. Good for you for being honest it’s not fair to the dog or the person to encourage someone to do something that could end poorly. I couldn’t even handle a dog like that. I wish more people read into the different temperaments of different breeds before getting them and then dumping them when they are to hard to handle. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend cooks a dish.\n\nI try out the dish as is, and it tastes very good.\n\nI want to try putting hot sauce see how it tastes like.\n\nMy girlfriend gets mad and says that it insults her cooking and insinuates that she doesn't know how to cook.\n\nFor me, I don't find that it's different from adding cheese or salt\/pepper. In no way am I saying her dish was bad, in fact it was amazing. I usually cook and I wouldn't mind at all if she adds extra condiments.\n\nAITA for wanting to add spice? ######","completion":" NTA- My friends vietmanese mom will absolutely cut your head of if you do this to her Pho without tasting it. But she knows every one has different tast and as long as your try it the way she intended she has no problem what the hell you do to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22) live in mature student accommodation while I do my Masters. One of my housemates and her husband (early 30s) got pregnant after moving in.\n\nI haven’t slept in weeks and haven’t been able to do my uni work. I am living on this baby’s schedule. I pay a lot to live in this housing and it is against our legal contract to generate noise loud enough to disturb other tenants. I understand that they can’t move out any time soon but I think it’s selfish to have a baby in student housing and they should move out when this is over. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA- most colleges have the option to switch to family housing if they become a family. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally \"checked it out\", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken. (If it matters, I'm 130lbs.) \n\nI said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she \"didn't give me permission to sit on it\" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to take it. \n\nI said no and left. But now I can't stop thinking about it. In my mind, when she said it was fine if I inspected the couch, this would obviously mean that I could sit in it. Isn't that one of the first things anybody does when checking out a couch? \n\nSo what do you think, reddit? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- likely it was already broken and she was trying to scam you ######"}
{"prompt":"Last week my parents and I had a serious discussion concerning life insurance. They are, by no means, expecting to pass anytime soon. However, they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it. \n\nThe topic of my younger siblings eventually came up. I’m about 16 years older than both of them and I’m 23 currently. They simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen. Unsurprisingly, their first option was myself. Their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely. \n\nThey explained to me that, if anything should happen to them, that I would have to prepare to care for my two siblings. They phrased it in such a way that I’d most likely have to move, find a different job, and raise them with my fiancé. They also told me that “it would be easy” because this life insurance would be helping me financially. \n\nI declined fairly quick. My mom was completely understanding, which I appreciated. However, my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision. He didn’t say anything beyond “but they’re your brother and sister” and “you should be there for them”. Yeah, I love them unconditionally, but I don’t even want kids of my own! And the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me. \n\nThey haven’t brought it up again since, but I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice. I definitely feel selfish, but... I feel like it’s my right to say no? On the other hand, my stepdad’s words make me feel like the asshole here. ######","completion":" NTA- kids are huge responsibility that require a lot of emotional labor and not everyone is meant to raise kids. \n\nThere might be a time later in your life where you want to be their guardian, but in your current position in life it's not in the picture. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my best friends is getting married next year, and I agreed to be in the wedding and have bought my bridesmaid dress already. I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend will also be in the wedding. As far as I know, we will not be walking down the aisle together, but who knows? I was a little apprehensive about being in the wedding with him (I’ll get to why in a moment), but, my friend said that I could bring my current boyfriend to the wedding with me, and that made me feel a lot better. Now, I am not normally one to get flustered around an ex-boyfriend, but, after we broke up (about two years ago), and I started dating other men, I realized that he had talked me into doing things I didn’t want to do (namely, sex) on multiple occasions. Yesterday, as I was talking to my current boyfriend, he realized that he would not be able to come because they are getting new software at work the month of the wedding, and no one is allowed to take time off during that month while the staff adjusts. (I should also mention that this wedding is out of state and on a Thursday.) My ex-boyfriend is extremely close with both the bride and groom and especially with the bride’s family, and he and her younger brother are best friends. WIBTA for telling my friend that I would not be comfortable even attending the wedding with my ex there as long as my current boyfriend cannot go? ######","completion":" Nta- just tell your friend what happened and that you don’t feel safe being around him so you won’t be attending. Don’t try to make her choose. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend and l(both 18f) we were always a bit on the heavier side. We would get teased at school but it was nothing malicious. She would always take offence so l asked my classmates to stop it when she was around and they did.\n\nAll was well until graduation ( last year) when the girls of the class thought we should arrange a beach holiday for us girls. When we were alone(my friend and l)I joked that we should start getting beach body ready. She took the joke seriously and agreed. \n\nSo when 2020 started l changed up my diet and started exercising. The progress was slow but steady but it was paying off. Then when lockdown was in place l started up the old xbox 360 and continued with the routine. I am not at my goal but l am getting there.\n\nAnyways, I was feeling proud of my progress so l put on my status how l may be beach body ready even though we aren't going to the beach.  She sees this and gets mad.\n\nShe says l have betrayed her and we agreed to do this together and accused me of hating my body etc things of that nature. \n\nI felt guilty about not informing her but I thought l am not in the wrong. \n\nReddit, do you agree? ######","completion":" NTA- its your body and you dont need to feel guilty for trying to eat better or exercising.  This is not a betrayal. But you can suggest helping her to make some changes too, if she chooses not to, she has no right to be mad at you for doing something positive in your own life. ######"}
{"prompt":"I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######","completion":" NTA- it’s yours. But they have the right to not let you use their stuff anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some backstory: I (F21) am in my 3rd year of college. Right now I am taking an English Literature class where we read books and analyze them and write essays on them. Since the pandemic my school has been online. So I took this opportunity to go and stay with my parents. They drove 4 hours to pick me up as I don't have a car. My parents are Christians and are very against homosexuals and stuff like that. I am not and I am an atheist, we also have very different political views.\n\nAnyway, I was reading a book called Maurice by E.M Forster. This book is about a homosexual boy in 1910 when he is at Cambridge Uni and after. I only read that book in my room where I sleep and everything as to not upset them and to respect their views until this point. I have been really enjoying this book but I hadn't been reading it fast enough. I had an essay due on it on Sunday and it was already Friday and if I failed this essay or I don't get it in on time I will have to retake the class. So I was reading like crazy wherever and whenever I could to get it done. \n\nI went to go make some lunch and to take a tiny break from my book. My mom picked up my book and read the back and even the page I was on (which happened to be them kissing). She started throwing a tantrum and saying that I shouldn't have brought that stuff into her house and just being overall homophobic. She even threw my book away into the trash so it was ruined. I emailed my professor and he gave me an extra 3 days and even gave me the source to read it online (I have a great professor). My mom has since then threatened to kick me out because of it and stuff. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- it’s not your fault, you cant change someone’s views who won’t open up for change. Your not the asshole though. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######","completion":" NTA- it’s not like you’re drinking piss. It’s a normal beverage drink it whenever you want my dude ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister is only five years old, so you can imagine the excitement when we adopted a cat. She's very handsy with the cat, often carries her despite the cat jumping out of her hands each time. I keep telling her to leave the cat alone but she only listens for like a minute. I keep telling my parents to tell her to stop annoying the cat but they said that I have to let her play with the cat because that was one of the conditions that I agreed to when I asked  for a cat. I don't mind my sister playing with the cat but she always tries to pet her and carry her when the cat is eating or grooming herself. One day my parents and me were watching TV and I hadn't realisedthat my sister had sneaked into my room probably trying to carry the cat. My sister comes back out of my room very quitely. The sleeping cat was also out of the room her back arched and the tail puffed up. She looked something like [this](https:\/\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/be\/2f\/5f\/be2f5f2707988f33f529150719584276.jpg). We checked on her and the cat has scratched her face, chest and her arm. The scratches weren't very deep but it still bled quite a bit. I asked what happened and she said that the cat was asleep and so she went lift her and then the cat scratched her. My parents said that this could have been avoided if we hadn't gotten the cat. But I said that cats are both prey and predators adn that my sister grabbing her while asleep probably alarmed her. They were still adamant that it was the cat fault but I said they should have told her to stop annoying the cat all the time.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- It's actually your parents' fault she got scratched. Five year olds are smart enough to understand warnings, but they lack the impulse control to follow the warnings consistently. Your parents, being the ones responsible for your sister, should have spent some time with her learning about cats and what cats do and do not like and placing boundaries around the cat with age appropriate consequences. Like, if you try to grab the cat while she's eating, you have to go play in the other room until the cat is done.\n\nI'm sorry your sister got scratched, but chances are, she won't be as grabby with the cat anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"In this story I am a very introverted person and always been like that from a young age while my family is very extroverted. like to be in my room for awhile I am a 16M. \nBackstory \nWhen I was 8 I had door with a lock on it and my favorite thing to do was legos and that was all I would do. One day my one of my two sister now 13 was 5 went to my room and broke all the things I spent awhile on making so when I got home from school I was mad and went in my room and locked the door. My sister wanted to play with me and my  parents told me to play with her and I refuse so they broke down my door. So that how Iost my door and two years ago when I got a new door with no door handle on it. So the door has a hole on the one of the sides that is just big enough for someone to look into.\n\nSo during this quaratein I have been forced to hang out with my family more which dosen't bother me to much. There is just one thing my sister 10 is the worst she is the stereotypical entitled child who will cry when anything bad happens or any criticism while also saying she doesn't care.Who will make very high pitched voices and will call everyone child. She dosen't care about anyone's privacy and will just walk into my room and scream in an annoying voice while I'm on call to embarrass me and my friends who is on speaker said can you tell that fat bitch to shut the fuck up and she ran out crying. My friend does not like my sister she is very annoying when he comes over and is the reason he dosen't come over. My parents got mad and said I shouldn't have people on speaker and I said she shouldn't have been in my room and I should have a lock. They said I need to make my friend apologize and I said no and she needed to hear it she is obese and is told constantly she is skinny and any time she is told other wise she cries and is told by my parents she is skinny. \nSo reddit am I the ass for saying it not my fault my sister heard bad things and I need a lock. ######","completion":" NTA- It's a bit concerning that you, as a sixteen year old boy, do not have a door that locks in a household full of girls. It's an issue of the healthy amount of privacy and space that teenagers need. I mean you can't always sit behind a locked door, but you should be able to go to your parents and say, \"I'm going to talk to my friends for a bit so I will be locking the door since we don't want to be interrupted by my little sisters\" or be able to lock the door for a few minutes while you get dressed after a shower. \n\nAnyhow, here's a trick that might work for you, at least temporarily. Do you have a doorstop in your house? (One of those triangle peaces of wood that you wedge under a door to keep it from closing.) If your bedroom door opens inward, whenever you want to prevent your sisters from just barging into your room, close the door and put in the doorstop. Your sister, when they try to get inside, will just push the door further onto the doorstop. So they might be able to crack the door open a little, but they can't just wander in. When they complain that they can't get the door open, tell them to hold on a sec, they pushed the door onto something (clothes) that was on the floor. It's going to take you a minute to get it unstuck. The key is not to let them see the doorstop. This might result in your parents taking away your door again, but it will prevent your sisters from busting into your room while you're naked. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (26F) boyfriend (25M) gifted me a pair of expensive headphones he got for free last year. I’ve been using them pretty regularly since, and he’s been away travelling for much of the time. Now he’s home and staying with me because of current circumstances and has been using my headphones quite a bit while I’ve been at work (I’m fine with this). When I got home from work this afternoon he asked if he could have them permanently. I laughed and said no I use them and they were a gift. Now he keeps asking and borderline begging me for them saying he’s “stressed” about not having headphones when he goes back to travelling for work, even though we don’t know when that will be. They’re expensive headphones and I don’t really know why he can’t buy his own cheaper headphones if he doesn’t want to spend that much money right now. I bought his plane ticket home and have been fully paying the rent and most of the groceries while he’s been here. He said he’d buy me cheap ones that have a cord (the ones in question are cordless) in exchange, but I’ve gotten used to having the cordless ones... should I just let it go and give him the headphones? It seems a petty thing to fight over but I think it’s rude to ask for a gift back a year after the fact. AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA- it was a gift. period. he doesn’t just get to decide he wants them a year later and take them back. if he’s okay freeloading rent food and basically everything else off of you then he can at least buy his own headphones. sounds like you’re dating a child instead of a grown man tbh. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally \"checked it out\", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken. (If it matters, I'm 130lbs.) \n\nI said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she \"didn't give me permission to sit on it\" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to take it. \n\nI said no and left. But now I can't stop thinking about it. In my mind, when she said it was fine if I inspected the couch, this would obviously mean that I could sit in it. Isn't that one of the first things anybody does when checking out a couch? \n\nSo what do you think, reddit? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- it sounds like it was already broken, and the owner was trying to pull a fast one on someone. ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I live in a 600+ sq ft apartment on a bottom floor with 2 cats. Quite recently, my gf had to make the decision to put down her dog due to liver failure. It was very fast and sudden, because we went in for a upset stomach and expected medication, not a lack of dog.\n\nShe immediatly started looking for another dog to adopt. I completly understand this, because getting another dog is part if the grieving process. However, this is where I wonder if I'm the asshole: I told her no. \n\nMy gf likes a \"beagle\/hound\" mix that isn't fully housetrained and used to be abused, so the world is still scary for them. I'm very hesitant on getting a dog, because for our last dog, a lot of the walking\/training resposibilities fell on me. I would get guilt-tripped into taking the dog out for walks by myself, while my gf would NEED me to be with her. I don't have the patience for dogs and while I like them, I'm more of a cat person anyways. I'm not ready for more financial costs and the emotional\/physical responsibility of another adult dog that has problems. We're gone 9 hours a day and we can't always afford dog walking\/sitting. However, its really hard to see my gf go through something like this. ######","completion":" NTA- it should be a mutual decision to bring a new pet into the house. \n\nIf you two didn't live together, then yea, you'd have no say in the matter. But since you do live together you will have responsibilities to the pet. It's not reasonable to be forced into pet ownership.\n\nI'm not sure I agree with your statement that getting a new dog is part of the grieving process. A lot of people do get new dog's when one dies, but many do not. Those that don't still process their grief.\n\nI'm sorry for y'alls loss. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted away from the family. \n\nHe has said some very rude and offensive things to me and our other brother and uses our parents as an ATM. I can't blame my parents for helping, as it is always some dire emergency like their power is going to be shut off (the GF has two kids from two other guys who live with them) or not enough money for groceries, etc. \n\nRecently, he has refused leftovers that my mother was bringing to him for his lunch at work as the food has been in her house and is \"cursed.\" These lunch drop offs were the only in person contact my mother had with him. When he cut off the visits, it broke her heart and she cried. My mom is not a crier, so you can imagine the protective outrage throughout my family, though we didn't actually go after my brother. \n\nToday is my Mom's birthday. Usually, I would remind my brothers to wish her a happy birthday, but since every time my youngest brother calls, he asks for money and causes general disappointed heartbreak, WIBTA if I didn't remind him? There is a good chance he'll see that it's her birthday on Facebook and that will remind him to call, but if I don't, WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA- it is not your job to remind a 29 yo man of your mothers birthday. He can succeed or fail on his own \n\nI went through the same thing with my older brother, he forgot moms birthday and then got mad at me for not reminding him. I told him to grow up and stop blaming me for his fuck up ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago, but my brain won't let this one go.\n\nSo I was hanging out with some friends. Two guys, one woman. We're all in our early 20s and have had our fair share of romance in life. The topic of sex popped up and we start talking about some of our past experiences. One guy joked about how having sex only made his dick bigger and bigger. We all laughed and he said that he wished that's how it works. My female friend (let's call her Sarah) piped up and said \"Yeah, for women, it's the complete opposite. The more sex you have, the bigger your labia gets and the looser you become.\" There were some chuckles, but then I asked her if she was serious. She said she was. \n\nNow, this is a big myth. I was surprised a woman who has had some experience actually believes that. I basically told her this, and then she started getting annoyed, asking \"how me and my dick knows about that\". I said the same way I know anything about female anatomy- I've read up on it. The whole \"women get looser\" thing is something sexist dudes made up to slut-shame women. My other friends were silent on this. She then just said: \"Whatever, I'm not in the mood for this kind of mansplaining.\"\n\nSo I'm at a loss here. AITA for explaining something that I feel like people should just know about? ######","completion":" NTA- ignorant friend who wants to make you feel bad for knowing something about anatomy ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to my family I had an opportunity to learn multiple languages from a young age.   12 to be exact.   So after I joined the military and learned about FLPP I was making very good pay while basicly living on board a floating city.   Since then I have developed the nickname tongues. Goonies referance im guessing. After 8 years and 3 tours I had to call my military career done.  And transer to a civilian market. I got a simple job working private security.  Drive a nice Benz and am an avid firearms collector.  When i go out with friends they always think since I can afford the tab I should pay.    The way I see it if its my idea then It should be my dime  if I say hey lets all go out to eat then I would offer to pay for everything.    I've done this a few times but they just want to party on my dime.   One night I get invited out and we all started drinking.  I pull the bartender aside and tell them my tab would be separate from the groups  and to keep an eye on us.  After I had my 3rd shot of liquor and maybe my 5th beer I summon an lyft and go home.  An few hours later my cell starts ringing. Its the bartender My friends told the bartender i was supposed to pay,  they managed to run up a nearly 500 dollar tab and if they can't pay the police will have to be called.  I just hung up and went back to sleep. ######","completion":" NTA- If your friends want to party, they should be responsible to pay for that.\n\nExpress that and stay from, don't let them continue to take advantage of your hard work ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.\n\nI'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it. \n\nMy mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######","completion":" NTA- If you care about these things, you should be able to keep them. Especially since you have plans to pass them down eventually. I think it helps everyone in the long run if you separate your stuff out.  And as an added bonus, if there is anything you don't see yourself keeping, you could always leave that behind for them if they want it! ######"}
{"prompt":"Tldr at the end\n\nThere's talks about small gatherings being able to happen before my birthday so my parents wanted to invite family over &amp; I told my grandmother if it's possible to come over she can celebrate her birthday as well (There's a week difference between my grandmother &amp; mw while a 9 day  difference me &amp; My cousin)\nalso i dislike kids because they cause me to break down. \n\n my auntie was told about this &amp; then she Was saying how great it was that myself, My grandmother &amp; My cousin will be celebrating the same day. My mother said that's not happening, There will be drinking &amp; I can't deal with kids yet my auntie kept demanding her to just ask me.  (legal age of drinking in my country is 16 with Parent supervision &amp; in your own home, 18 for buying)\n\nI have been helping sort out my backgarden to make a makeshift 'bar' &amp; invite few neighbours, My auntie, her 2 kids &amp; My grandparents over. There will be social distancing &amp; also theyll not be there for long periods of time ( &amp; again this is only in talks for now, it all depends on what the rules are)\n\n\nI avoid voicing myself &amp; never wanted to celebrate my other birthdays but I've been planning to celebrate my 18th for years with my parents so I'm not sure if I'm being an asshole or if what I'm doing is fair\n\n\nTLDR: \n\nAuntie is trying to convince me to allow her kids birthday  ti be celebrated with my 18th party because I asked my grandmother to celebrate her birthday with me. there will be drinking &amp;  social distancing (Wont  happen if the rules arent allowing small gatherings.)  I feel bad since I don't usually see my birthday as a big deal but Its my only one I ever wanted to celebrate so I'm not sure if I'm actually an AH or being  reasonable ######","completion":" NTA- if there’s alcohol, a kid shouldn’t be celebrating their birthday there. Your aunt should do something kid like for your cousins birthday. You and your grandmother are adults. I doubt that your cousin even wants to share the celebration anyways, it’s likely just your aunts doing. ######"}
{"prompt":"At the time I was 18(F). I was doing a Media Make-Up and SFX course, and when I applied I was not aware there would be hairdressing aswell, I wasn’t interested. \nI have Afro-carribean hair and was the only mixed-race person in the class. My teacher and the rest of the girls had straight hair. She wanted the girls to be blow-drying\/straightening\/rollering my hair, which I explained they can’t because my hairs DIFFERENT and it could ruin it (genuinely, as I use African natural products and I never ever use heat - It’s also super super curly?) and she said I had NO CHOICE but to participate, I was extremely upset. She tried to put a fckin brush through my DRY hair which hurt and I flipped out and left, I have to wash my hair wet &amp; conditioned for obvious reasons. And I felt like despite her being a qualified hairdresser, she should either have some knowledge of my type of hair or not go near it at all. My other teachers &amp; the girls then became super bitchy and telling me I’m “acting superior” which caused my anxiety to rocket, and I eventually left. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta- if the teacher was worth a shit she would have used it as an opportunity to teach them how to work with your hair type not destroy it. Then to bully you instead of admitting she had no clue what she was doing. She sounds like a dangerous form of idiot. I'd file a complaint and demand my money back. Walking out was the most common sense thing that happened in this whole story. ######"}
{"prompt":"Well this post isn't really about me but my sister wants to know if she's the asshole here\n\nMe(15f) and my sister (22f) recently got a visit from one of our aunts who was about to have a child. She said that she needed a place to stay for a few days.\n\nMy sister told her that she couldn't because they don't have any room for her. In reality our aunt has a habit of trashing a house within a day and overstays her welcome.\n\nThe next day we find a post on Facebook saying how we're bad people who forced a pregnant lady to sleep in her car. My sister feels really bad about it is she the asshole ######","completion":" NTA- if she was bad before, cue using her pregnancy as an excuse why she's awful when she's there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.\n\nMy relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?) \n\nHe would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.\n\nHis partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.\n\nThen come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.\n\nLast week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.\n\nI haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.\n\nBut the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- if he’s really interested in seeing his child he can arrange for visitation ######"}
{"prompt":"It was around 1 PM in the afternoon. Wife accidentally called her male college friend when trying to hook her phone up to the charger. We started discussing the prospect of having an afternoon quickie, then I went to wash up quickly before coming back. \n\nTwenty minutes later we finished and found that her friend had hung up the phone right when we were done. He was listening the entire time even during our discussion. \n\nI called him and yelled at him for claiming to be such a devout and religious man then violating our privacy when the call clearly was an accident. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- idk how you can call someone without realising but he was a total asshole and a creep when he didn’t stop listening. Someone said that you violated his privacy by calling back, but I feel like that’s made redundant because it was to cuss him out about *listening in on you two* ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and I don't see eye to eye on many things. The only relevant issue here is that I'm a  germaphobe and my roommate is the exact opposite. \n\n I was cooking myself a meal on the stove for myself. My roommate came out and initiated conversation. I've lately been avoiding interacting with her because of her hygiene issue.  (I've told her politely that her odor makes me nauseated; but she can't help it because of her mental health.) During the conversation she was picking at her nose, teeth, and scratching herself inside her pants. I ignored the hygiene issues during the conversation because I couldn't leave my food half cooked and didn't want her getting angry with me for addressing it.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAfter my food was finished, I excused myself to go switch laundry. (This takes me less than two minutes.) The food was off the burner and resting. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI came back to find my roommate hunched over the food, prodding at it. When she realized I was back, she jumped and shoved it away from her. I asked her what she was doing and she became very defensive insisting she didn't want it to burn, and then that she \"just wanted to touch it\". \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI told her she can go ahead and eat it because I didn't want it anymore. She called me paranoid and an asshole. She's insisted multiple times that I'm acting like I'm better than her and that she would never do anything bad to my food. But I'm just grossed by the idea of her messing with my food at all, even if she didn't directly touch it. The food is sitting out there right now and no one is eating it.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nTLDR; I'm refusing to eat food my roommate allegedly wanted to help with. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- I’m not even a Germaphobe and find this gross, I wouldn’t eat it either ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been living with my current roommate for about 5 years now, and she has a habit of leaving her shoes (sometimes several pairs) in the middle of the floor in the entryway, right in front of the door.\n\nI've been tripping over these damn shoes for several years now, and about a year ago i was sick and tired of moving them by hand, so i started just kicking them out of the way instead. Several times i've told her to please put them to the side so they aren't in the way, but it's fallen on deaf ears every time.\n\nOne day we were out getting groceries together she saw me kicking her her shoes out of the way as we walked in with heavy bags in our hands, and she told me to stop kicking them. I responded with \"No, why won't you just put them out of the way instead?\".\n\nA few days later, shoes still there, i got fed up. I put her shoes on top the closet, which is too high up for her to reach, just to prove a point. When she finally noticed she got furious and asked why i would do that, and if i did it just to prove a point. She called me an AH, we argued for a couple minutes, and it ended when she went out the door. It's never been brought up since.\n\nWell, it actually worked. The shoes aren't in the way every single time anymore, but i've been wondering if i went about it the wrong way? Frankly, i felt like i was out of options.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- I’d say 5 years is more than enough. ######"}
{"prompt":"Guys, please tell me if I was too harsh with my roommate. I’m going to admit that I find her pretty annoying and slightly racist.\n\nWe live in an apartment building that caters to student housing. They rent by the bedroom, so I did not know my roommate before I moved in at the beginning of the semester ( she was there first and has had three other roommates) \n\nNow, either she’s ignorant or racist but there are things that she does that bothers me. She constantly asks me questions about “black” things. Think, “Do black people really....” When she saw me make my dinner one time she said “wow black people really can cook!” And offered to pay me to cook for her. She calls me “boo”. She just seems like an alien that has never met a black person before. \n\nThe thing that annoys me most is that she is constantly asking me to teach her how to twerk and shake her ass, or to do it myself. I am actually a ballet dancer, and while I have nothing against ass shaking, it annoys me that it is all that I am boiled down to. \n\nBefore this whole lock down mess it was easy to avoid her. Now I’m stuck with her and she’s getting on my nerves. \n\nLast night she busted into my room playing Ass by Big Sean on her phone. I was reading. She had a bit to drink and started asking me to dance with her and show her how to twerk. I told her no. And she begged me, saying “come on I want to learn!” I said “It’ll he hard to learn with no ass...” And she actually got super upset about that y’all! She started yelling about how she was trying to have fun with me, calling me stuck up, and *crying*. \n\nShe went to her room and left me alone for the rest of the night, this morning I said hello to her and she’s ignoring me. It seems like I really hurt her feelings. At the same time, maybe it taught her not to bother me. Idk, am I an asshole for saying she has no ass? ######","completion":" NTA- I was all ready to asshole you up after reading the headline, but wow. Your room mate is a racist ass with no ass. Good for you for standing up for yourself. I’m sorry you have to live with such blatant ignorance, I hope you can move soon. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom knows I (17f) can’t stand the taste or smell of teriyaki sauce. I have told her this multiple times, because the smell\/taste makes me sick to my stomach. I ask her for a heads up whenever she makes something with teriyaki sauce in it so I can grab something for myself to eat.\n\nI went grocery shopping for my mom today, and when I come back, my mom tells me it’s time for dinner. I go into the kitchen, and the smell hits me. She made beef tips and then covered it in a whole ass layer of teriyaki. I got a bit upset with her and asked her why she didn’t tell me she was making dinner with teriyaki sauce, and she laughs and says that it was just a last minute thing. I told her that maybe she shouldn’t have done that last minute thing, because now I couldn’t go grab something to eat from a restaurant (it was around 7:30, most stores close around 8:00 now, and we live like thirty minutes out from the closest fast food place)\n\nMom called my brothers “Andy” (16m) and David (13m) into the room and told them that I was “being picky” and refusing to eat. They started giving me shit about it, and I told them if they really wanted me to eat it, they could clean up my puke later. \n\nApparently I ruined dinner by being picky about food covered in something that makes me sick, and my mom is acting like a 5 year old who got upset (huffing, sighing, refusing to talk, etc.) and Andy told me I should’ve sucked it up and ate it. To sum it up: i basically ruined the entire night for my family by not eating.\n\nAITA for not eating food covered in teriyaki sauce?\n\nEDIT: because I just realized people might be confused about why I can’t just make something in the kitchen: My mom doesn’t like people cooking after dinner’s been made, or even people being in the kitchen afterwords. ######","completion":" NTA- I used to hate peas and I literally threw up when my mom kept forcing me to eat them. I feel your pain. Maybe your mom really forgot but instead of telling you to suck it up she should have been more apologetic. ######"}
{"prompt":"Loaned niece $1000 for her wedding expenses a few years ago; my sister asked for the loan on her behalf because she was too proud\/shy... but when I said yes niece thanked me profusely. Niece has never paid any of it back, but sister paid just over half of it for her until I said STOP because it's not her debt (my sister barely makes ends meet). \nFFWD to now; no family get togethers lately due to COVID, so no bday gift (usually a card with around $100) for niece back in March. After recently dropping off a gift at sister's for another family member, niece tells her mother \"Oh, well, Uncle didn't get me anything for my bday\". \nI admit that I still think about the money owed -not hurting for it, but just the principle of the thing and that I feel taken for granted ...miffed that not even an attempt has been made by her to pay ANY of it back. So I was thinking 'fuck it' and would skip her $ present this year (maybe she would subtly get why, perhaps?). I'm pretty annoyed that she would bring it up to her mother like that; she is 25 years old now! However, in the interest of not causing a rift with my sister (or possibly the rest of the family), I am debating giving her belated birthday $ at the next family function... thoughts? ######","completion":" Nta- I suggest a birthday card with a note inside saying £50\/£100 has been taken off her debt to you. That way you have both given her a gift and reminded her she owes you money ######"}
{"prompt":"I came to live with my parents in Alaska when Universities told their students to go home and I just graduated. Even though I’m on social security, I still managed to save some money for an emergency. I had to leave all of my home goods in the lower 48 and I’m expected to pay for my vehicle and possessions to be driven here. But that’s not the issue.\nMy sister and her fiancé decided to move back home too because of some hard financial hits and coronavirus cutting her work hours. I asked if I could move in with her when the time comes because generally just want to get a different job and don’t want to live with my parents anymore. I told her I would help pay rent and that we would have strictly roommate relationship rules. She didn’t say anything at first, but a couple days later asked to borrow money from me for the entire deposit, I said yes and that’s when she informed me I wouldn’t be allowed to move with her.\n\nSo I’m wanting to know if I would be the asshole if I told her I changed my mind about loaning her the money? I already said I would, I know she’s in a financial situation and I’ll probably never see the money again, but what she did really just... yeah. ######","completion":" NTA- I see people saying get it in writing, but it's still a legal hassle to get the money back if she refuses to repay you upfront. Don't give her anything, use the money for your own deposit. ######"}
{"prompt":"Since the pandemic, I’ve been working from home. I am a Spanish tutor and tutor students by appointment through video chats. Today, I told my boyfriend that I had an appointment, which means to please be quiet and not interrupt me. \n\nI’m in the middle of tutoring this student (she’s older, very well-mannered) and all of a sudden we hear my boyfriend scream “SHUT THE FUCK UP” at one of the dogs followed by “MOTHERFUCKER”. The client sat there mouth agape and then she quickly ended the call. \n\nI texted my boyfriend saying something along the lines of “Can you not yell curse words while I’m on a call? What the fuck?” all the while trying to reconnect with the client. She did not pick up. I’m certain she’s reporting me to my boss, and I will likely get fired. \n\nMy boyfriend texted me an apology. I was so pissed and anxious I didn’t respond. Later he came in and said he was sorry again. I told him an apology was not sufficient at all. I’ve been at this job for almost five years, it’s a work-study job through the university which I get food stamps and they work with my nursing school schedule, and it’s the only way I can pay for my bills and medication. I’m also applying to a graduate program and was depending on the supervisor recommendation from my boss. Now that’s all out the window. \n\nIt is 100% his fault that I’m getting fired, and he makes more in a day than I do in a week. I can’t get a “normal” job because of my erratic nursing school schedule, and I’ll lose my food stamps and any other income. \n\nWIBTA for demanding he compensate me for my lost job if I’m fired?\n\nEdit: Just received word from my boss that I am suspended from working until further decisions are made. ######","completion":" NTA- I read some of the comments, OP. Your boyfriend is a dog trainer that screams at dogs? That's highly concerning. \n\nI'd make him pay since he made you lose the job.  Or suspended according to your edit? What are chances you'll lose your job? Jw? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my close friend (Q) &amp; her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it &amp; said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways. \n\nIn the process of planning (&amp; hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):\n\n1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes &amp; scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests &amp; THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests &amp; Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it &amp; agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple. \n\n2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q &amp; W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W &amp; how W has been affected. &amp; she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, &amp; it took a while before she got it. \n\nSo yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######","completion":" NTA- I personally feel like a lot of people try to say it’s just for the girl, but that’s not true. Weddings are about two people coming together and literally merging everything. It’s a big deal for both parties. Regardless of how Q’s family treated W, it’s still his big day too. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background. My wife’s siblings are incredibly entitled along with her stepdad and sometimes her mother.\n\nSadly my pug (Otis) passes away last week. My wife and I are pretty torn up. He was an amazing dog who loved just about anyone, who’d give him food. Word soon got around to my In-Laws who at first felt sorry, but then after learning how he died (he had chronic heart problems) were saying we were stupid to trust modern medicine and if an animal is born weak it should die. The final stray was when me and my wife were in a zoom call with my SIL, and she said the following, I can’t believe you guys are hung up over your dumb dog. He was a dumb bitch who deserved to die. I. Saw. Red. I told her to shut the FUCK up and that she needs to stop being such a bitch all the time. It’s been a couple of days and my wife wants me to apologize for causing “drama” in the family. The way I see it is they’re the ones being inconsiderate assholes. So reddit, AITA ######","completion":" NTA- I hope your SIL never wants to see you again so you can be rid of that insufferable woman. \n\nI am very sorry for your loss, Otis was probably a great little guy. I’d love to see your favorite photo of him or maybe hear a story about him if you want to share some good memories. I have a 12 year old dog who is showing signs of brain cancer and I am genuinely afraid of what I would do to a person who said something like that about her. ######"}
{"prompt":"(This happened a while ago, no big weddings during a pandemic for me, dw!) \n\nI (24F) was the maid of honour at the wedding of my brother and his wife (my sister in law). \n\nWhile we were planning the wedding, my SIL mentioned how overbearing her mom can be, and how she always feels bad asking her to stop being an attention hog. I told my SIL that on the wedding day, I'd take care of her, no matter what. \n\nSure enough, MIL pulls up to the wedding wearing a WHITE dress (something my SIL guessed she'd do). I saw her get out of her car and start walking towards the venue, so I pulled her aside before anyone could see her and brought her in through a side entrance.\n\nI told her that it was inappropriate to wear white at someone else's wedding, and that if she wanted to attend, she'd have to change. I had my SIL give me some of MIL's nice dresses, so I had a few for her to chose from. \n\nMIL flipped out on me. She told me I had no right to ask her to change and that I was being a pain in the ass on an emotional day. She started crying and went to look for her husband, so I updated SIL &amp; she told me if MIL would rather miss her own daughter's wedding rather than just change her dress, she could miss it. \n\nMIL ended up changing, but made a HUGE deal out of it and went home early during the reception because she \"didn't feel welcome\". She still maintains that I was out of line. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I do feel really shitty for potentially being the reason my SIL wasn't able to enjoy her wedding fully with her mother (even though SIL still had crazy amounts of fun). AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- I can't believe the mom would try to take away her own daughter's spotlight. You did the right thing (especially since SIL previously mentioned how it bothered her) ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah I now it sounds weird. My daughter is 2 and currently her favorite thing to do is to strip all her clothes off, take off her diaper, and pee everywhere while laughing maniacally. Partly because she hates the wet diaper, and while we are working on potty training, she is not quite physically ready, despite being mentally ready. Anyways, I’ve started referring to her as “the goblin” whenever she does this, and my husband thinks it’s hilarious and now whenever she’s covered in pudding\/peanut butter\/ takes off her diaper and pees while laughing maniacally, he also refers to her as “the goblin.” Usually it’s “the goblin needs a bath.” That kind of thing. Anyways, some of friends think it’s mean to call our daughter a goblin. Are we the assholes here? ######","completion":" NTA- I call my sister an evil demon because of her very weird but still adorable laugh. Also because she can be evil. Kids are weird. Your kid just happens to act like a goblin. Hence the name goblin. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory. \n\nMy brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.\n\nSo, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment\/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.\n\nMy husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be \"ashamed of myself\" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes. \n\nSo AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how \"ungrateful\" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :\/ ######","completion":" NTA- how is it better to leave them sitting in a closet to literally never be worn because they are the wrong size and you never got the exchange you asked for?? ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds bad.  I feel bad about it but I don't think I should pay them more. \n\nHere's why:\n\n- I was never on the lease\n- I didn't pay any bond\n- I was sub renting\n- I gave them 10 workdays notice,  then paid for another 2,5 weeks to make it a month. \n- I communicated everything with them that they need to find another person\n- I made all the ads and pictures of the pace\n- I made a letter to the landlord stating due to xyz I cannot be in this country anymore and if the rent could be lowered.\n\nI was in this place for 3 months.  All went fine but then hell broke loose. I had to get back home since my family needed me. \nWhen my roommates (24 f &amp; m) heard this, they pushed me to get on the lease.\n\n \nFurthermore they were understanding, helping me by just talking and I made ads to find someone new.  I had several people coming by the place but they didn't get my room since they wanted someone long term (year+) and between 20-30.\n\nI had to catch a plane and put most of my stuff into storage. \n\nThey couldn't find anyone after 2 weeks and they asked me to transfer rent.  I told them I need to pay for 2 places now so I'll only do 2 weeks for you guys to find someone new.  They were grateful. \n\n2 weeks later they explode and expect me to keep on paying since they haven't found someone new. It would be my responsibility and they are calling me names now saying they might have to move now etc.\n\nI feel horrible for them but to be fair why would I pay for a place I haven't lived in for 3 weeks and I don't have any responsibility for?\n\nOne side I'm like maybe I should help them out even more.  But I'm out of a job and stuff is bad in my hometown now too.\nI need the money myself. ######","completion":" NTA- honestly this is a risk your roommates opened themselves up to when they let you move in without putting you on the lease. It sounds like you gave them plenty of warning and even worked to help them find a new roommate. Honestly, it's not hard to find a sublease, and it's not up to you to find one since you don't live in that space anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, basically, for the past month, I've been planning a cross country move back to my college town. I had some plans to stay with friends, and get there on July first so I can move in.\n\nWhen I told my mom I was moving out, she was somewhat upset with me with how sudden it was, and was upset I didn't give her enough time to make plans for her to take time off work so she could come with me.\n\nSo I decided to post pone my move in date to a later date - about a week off. But this also means not staying with some of my friends along the way, and means me sitting around for another week extra while I wait.\n\nI'm considering telling her tomorrow that it might be better if I go earlier and by myself so I can stick to my original plan. I know this is probably going to upset her and she won't like it....but would I really be the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA- honestly just go. It can be really hard for parents to let go. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a short story, I live in England, born and raised, a friend of mine who I've known for years since we were in primary school once asked me if he could use my debit card to buy the DLCs for Grand Theft Auto IV on his XBOX 360, I agreed for him to do it He then returned my card to me and said he would pay be back. e didn't. He left my card details on his xbox for a couple of months making unauthorised purchases, to the point when my bank statement came in and it showed tonnes of money being poured out from my account, I then confronted him showing him the bank statements, I then went on his XBOX and I found my card details still there. I was pissed off at him for doing this as in REALLY PISSED I then removed my card, I then called up Microsoft asking them to refund my money and they kindly did, I then cutoff contact with him and never saw him again.\nLast I heard of him was when I tried to contact me i then blocked him. Haven't heard of him in ages.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA- he’s a little thief. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep this short. \n\nI’ve worked at a restaurant for a while and there’s this one guy that usually comes. We’ve casually chatted a bit and have a casual relationship. He’s hot. I’m not. He usually comes really late, I’ve talked to him twice in the parking lot after my shift ended. He also initiates and carries on these conversations, I’m not harassing him. \n\nI decided to shoot my shot, after work today we were talking again and I asked him out. He said no. I was fine with this. I was about to accept that and leave, but after the initial rejection he went on about how he just couldn’t force himself to be attracted to me physically, “you’re a very nice girl but . . .” and all that jazz. I felt a little hurt by this because he could’ve just aid no, there was no reason to go off on my appearance, I already knew he wasn’t physically attracted to me after the first no. I felt he was being kind of condescending. He continued to “comfort” me afterwards, saying he was sure I would find a good guy, looks aren’t everything, to keep my head up, etc. It was also really embarrassing because his friend was there and could hear everything going on. He looked really awkward and uncomfortable. \n\nI went home and was obviously pretty bummed. My brother noticed and asked why so I told him and he told me the guy was TA. I kind of ranted about it to to three of my friends in a group chat and they agreed there was no need to list the reasons why he wouldn’t date me. At the end I calmed down and said I was over it, we talked about other stuff. \n\nI guess one of my friends must have told friends and apparently he found out, he reached out to me on social media and said I was a bitter bitch. AITA ######","completion":" NTA- He was insensitive for listing the reasons why hes not attracted to you, and it's completely understandable for you to be upset and vent with trusted friends. He shouldn't have contacted you and called you a bitch. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because he uses reddit.\n\nMy fiancée (21M) and I (22F) have been together for 2 years, living together for most our relationship.\n\nAt first he moved into the apartment I already owned. He solely cleaned litter boxes as I tend to be allergic to litter dust, but other than that we both always did all of the other chores around the house. \n\nAfter around 6 months of us both living in my small studio apartment, we decided to try to find a bigger place owned by the same landlady as she's been amazing. I preferred a 1 bedroom apartment that was on the third floor, had a dishwasher (important), central heating and air, and on site laundry. He preferred a one bedroom on the first floor (I hate living on the first floor), no dishwasher (and no room to have one installed), no on site laundry, and a wallunit that didn't flow any air into the bedroom. I could compromise on everything but the dishwasher as I couldn't stand doing dishes by hand. He said if that was the only thing I didn't like, then he would just always to do the dishes. I agreed and we live there now.\n\nIts been a little over a year living here, at first he had no problem with being the only one doing the dishes. I've always put up the clean dishes, as long as he washes them, and other than that and of course litters boxes, we split all the other chores evenly. But I feel that since the excitement of the new place has worn off and now he refuses to do any dishes, letting them pile up up and up until I have nagged him enough and helped him put them all up. Rather than do them as they came into the sink everyday, he now will wait weeks to do it.\n\nBut now he's saying it's unfair that he has to do the dishes. Like I said, it's not like I don't help at all with the dishes, and it's not like he does all the chores in the house and I do none.\n\nSo reddit, AITA for holding my fiancée up to his promise of doing the dishes? ######","completion":" NTA- he made the promise. You’re also compromising on so much he should be willing to keep up his one commitment he made to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 3. My next door neighbor has a 3 year old son. My neighbor is an essential worker so I watch her son during the day. He and my daughter are very good friends and tell me often that they are married. It’s obviously innocent and cute.\n\nSince I’m still working, I’ve been letting them watch a lot of tv so I can get my work done. They like to cuddle up together under a blanket while they watch. Sometimes they even fall asleep (which is a total bonus for me.) \n\nThey were knocked out under the blanket together one afternoon and I didn’t want to wake them up by moving them. My daughters father FaceTimed me and asked to see her. I told him she wasn’t sleeping but I turned the camera around and showed her napping with her friend. Her father hung up and later called me and yelled at me for allowing her to cuddle with a boy. He said it was inappropriate and that I was encouraging an unhealthy relationship. I told him he was being creepy and they’re 3. He got very angry and is telling people that I am wrongly calling him names. Am I the asshole for calling him a creep? ######","completion":" NTA- He had those thoughts in his head. 3 year olds snuggin on the couch is perfectly harmless. ######"}
{"prompt":"I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like  havinv my own kid.  \nMy brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ######","completion":" NTA- he can go out the two weeks he doesn’t have her, or once in awhile. It’s extremely important to set a boundary, that you are not her nanny, and he needs to do his job as a father. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, my bf has a friend or two over about once a week. When they come over, these guys will drink a full case of beer and eat so much (like what one of them eats for one meal would be three meals for me). I don’t mind them eating and drinking all this but me and my bf split groceries 50\/50. My bf’s friends never pay for anything - they don’t even bring over a 6pack when they hang out. I’m sick of buying a 24 case of beer for it to be gone in two days because of my bf’s friends and for buying a weeks worth of groceries only for half of it to disappear in one night.\n\nSo WIBTA if I tell my bf that he has to pay for the alcohol and food that him and his friends consume? ######","completion":" NTA- have a conversation with your bf. Tell him he needs to start going to the store for his “party” food and drinks before his buddies come over. That the shared groceries are off limits now. He may stop having them over so often if he has to financially support that burden by himself ######"}
{"prompt":"35(f) here who met an amazing lady back in February. I'm mom to cool cat 9 year old daughter. Lady moved in relatively quickly, partially in due to that old lesbian stereotype, and also because 'Rona.\n\nFor the most part the transition went smoothly. Daughter's dad and I share 50\/50 custody and have great friendship. Every Friday my daughter and I like to have a \"girls night\" of just her and I doing stupid shit. \n\nWe've been including girlfriend in these Friday night romps and she's been mindful of letting us have our space. Until last night. Daughter wanted to watch movies and sleep on pull out couch with me. \n\nGirlfriend was pissed. She said she wanted to sleep next to her person, which is me. Well I'm that little person's person too. I told her I loved her and that one night of me sleeping on pull out watching movies with my kid shouldn't be an issue. I sleep in bed with GF every night of the week. \n\nToday I'm getting the silent treatment. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA- hate to say it but this should be a huge red flag and sign of problems to come. She needs to respect your relationship with your daughter. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16) was on a call with my girlfriend (16) when my little sister (6) entered the room. She was being loud so I told her to leave and my girlfriend says \"oh my god, I hate her\", then I said \"excuse me?\" and she repeated \"shes just annoying I don't like her.\". I told her to knock it off and she got defensive. She said \"I wasn't being disrespectful I didn't call her a bitch or a slut or call her any names\". I hung up on her. We have been dating for about 1.25 years and my little sister has always loved her and I thought she loved my little sister too, but I guess not. And she keeps telling me im acting like a child and being disrespectful. Then she goes and talks to my friend, lets call him Brad. And brad messages me and says how I'm gonna lose her because I don't \"have my shit in order\" and I'm exaggerating. Now everyone is pissed at me because my girlfriend is saying shit about my little sister. AITA for being mad at my girlfriend? ######","completion":" NTA- good on you for sticking up for your defenseless sister ######"}
{"prompt":"My sisters plays sports. Whenever she gets home from a game or practice she just comes in and lays on the couch for awhile. She never showers immediately. That’s a personal choice. The problem is that for days afterwards when you sit where she was sitting or attempt to use the blanket she did, it smells like straight BO. IMO if she’s not going to be hygienic and shower afterwards, she shouldn’t be allowed to be on the couch. Obviously, I’m not talking about sitting down to take her shoes off or anything, I mean for a decent amount of time. If she wants to lay or sit on her bed and blankets and they smell like BO, fine, go ahead. I just don’t think it’s fair that we all have to sit somewhere that is covered in her dry sweat and odors. It’s a shared space. I think I may be the asshole for asking her because it might come off as bossy or over controlling. I’m worried it’s not actually a big enough deal to bring up. I just think it’s unhygienic and inconsiderate. ######","completion":" Nta- fabrics soak up the sweat and now she’s making stuff that’s not hers smelly and isn’t cleaning it, just let her know ######"}
{"prompt":"Myself and my husband are due in october, after two miscarriages last year due to (now resolved) issues with my heart and kidneys and the surrounding treatment. \n\nEverything is good this time around, and part of the journey of recovery for us is buying things for the baby, keeping things we bought for the last 2, and trying to enjoy my pregnancy instead of being very scared something is going to happen.  \n\nMe and husband have not great relationships with our families and no contact with some, for a lot of reasons, but are doing by far the best emotionally and financially, which can cause tension. \n\nThey have all rang insisting on giving us all their second hand stuff, I mean, piles and piles of it. My sister had a child with someone from a family with hygiene and smoking issues and we especially do not want clothes from them.\n\nI spoke generally to everyone that we would like to buy our own stuff and gave our reasons (they know our m\/c history) and also that as its our first child we would like to buy stuff new that we have chosen. \n\n Also that if they want to buy anything new the money would probably be more useful so we can get the stuff we need.\n\nI've been called ungrateful, money grabbing, childish, been told that just because we are well off we think we are too good for their stuff. \n\nI've spoke to friends who think that a baby is a \"family event\" and I'm excluding my family from the joy of preparing. But we have almost no relationship anyway, and had no plans in them being involved with the child. \n\nAita ? Am I ungrateful and excluding ? :(\n\n*edit* just to add that a lot of them have issues with hoarding, over buying and spending too much. We are the opposite and as zero waste as possible and are determined to buy as little as we need ######","completion":" NTA- even though it's pretty normal to keep the baby stuff for someone else and giving it to them, they're in no position to tell you how to handle this. If you want to buy everything new, that's on you. You don't have take presents you wouldn't be grateful for, or maybe even throw away. But that's always an option. Take everything, fake smile, trash can.\n\nEdit: donation is probably a better solution than a trash can. But I like to exaggerate. And you do understand what I want to say. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.\n\nLast year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.\n\nHe has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or \/he\/ would cut me off for his own health. \n\nI do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA- even though I can see how your brother could feel unsupported, sometimes you gotta do what YOU have to do and being debt free from college is a huge deal. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (20F) am currently living with my boyfriend (21M). We’ve been together 7 months. He’s still working and I’ve been laid off so I’m at home all day.\n\nI have been wanting short hair for a while, but I’ve been too nervous to. But with everything closed, I figured now is a good time. I’ve been debating back in forth but today I said screw it, I grabbed a pair of scissors and went into the bathroom before I could change my mind and gave myself a fairly “butch” cut. I’ve cut my own hair before - it’s not great but it’s not the worst homemade haircut.\n\nI wasn’t expecting my boyfriend to be thrilled as it’s a big change. I didn’t call him ahead because I wanted to see his reaction. However, when he got home he absolutely flipped out. He asked what happened and I explained it to him. Started screaming at me for doing it without his permission, called me a selfish bitch, and said he didn’t think he wanted to be in a relationship with me anymore and left. I’d never seen him so angry.\n\nI’m wondering if I was in the wrong here. I think he’s overreacting. It’s not a tattoo or anything, it isn’t permanent. He could have just said he didn’t like it and I could (consider) growing it back. Maybe I should have told him, but I know he isn’t a fan of the idea and I didn’t want to be dissuaded as I’ve been wanting to *try* short hair for a while. I think I should be able to at least experiment with my appearance.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" nta- dump his ass fr ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, everyone.\n\nSo I live with a roommate, and we’re both grad students, so constantly busy. This summer is going to be particularly busy for me, because I have two classes, an intensive German workshop, and am working on both PhD and Fulbright applications. Because of this, I don’t foresee me leaving my desk this summer. My roommate is also taking two classes. The other day, my roommate told me that her boyfriend would be coming up from Florida to visit for 5 days. She also told me that I would need to be gone from the apartment for at least one night so they could have sex, and asked if I could go stay with my boyfriend. I told her no, because I was busy and had class and would feel more comfortable doing my classes and schoolwork at home. She told me I was an asshole, and has gotten her friends and parents to also tell me I’m an asshole.\n\nAITA for telling her no? ######","completion":" NTA- Do y’all share a room or just an apartment? Because if she has her own room, that’s very weird to ask you to leave. If they want more privacy, they can go to a hotel. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother is in her 40’s, she got out of rehab for drug use recently. \n\nWhile in rehab (she says) she applied to half-way houses for afterwards, the applications were denied.\n\nShe got out of rehab and decided she was going to Georgia the next morning. That night she spent a night in a hotel with a friend. I didn’t hear from her for about 3 days.  Tonight while I was working she asks me to pick her up afterwards. I ask where she wants to go and she just lays into me about how she has nowhere to go,  no one cares, and to just forget about it. Emphasizing how she has nowhere to go, most likely to guilt me into offering her to stay with me. \n\nThis was typical behavior of her when she was using and I, rightfully so, do not want her in my apartment if she is using again. And I don’t necessarily want her here even if she isn’t. \n\nAITA for feeling this way? ######","completion":" NTA- Directly after rehab she vanished for three days. You’re not obligated to care for her, but if you chose to you need to set ground rules. If you want to help her, help her apply to women’s shelters, finding a job, etc. Addiction is a disease and it’s very difficult to get back on your feet but working towards it is part of the process. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a household where only WOMEN are supposed to wash the dishes. Or house chores in general. My brother stays his ass on the couch all day or playing videos games, who also eats the most food and makes the most dishes with my dad has the nerve to tell me to wash the dishes. \n\nWhen I tell him why don’t you wash the dishes he goes “what I look like to you” seriously!! He tells me you’re helping mom by doing so, so then why isn’t he helping mom too!?? My dad has the same mentality and always makes me do all house chores, I never once seen my brother pick up one thing. \n\nNow I’m not here saying that I’m the most hard working but if everyone did their part in the house, sharing chores, and taking turns to wash the dishes maybe I would wash them too. I try to help out as much as I can but seeing my brother and dad do nothing just discourages me completely, it’s starting to piss me off, they are not only sexist but they don’t even see how backwards their mentality is. Also my mother is the same way, she only tells me to do chores because a woman is supposed to. And that one day I’m gonna have to marry and do my husbands house chores. Like whattt!!! \n\nI also let my brother know that I won’t ever touch any dishes until everyone does their part in the house to help out. \n\nAITA. ######","completion":" NTA- cultures be like that. Women have to do all the work and men aren’t grateful for it. They act like we should be glad we have chores to do. I would just do my own dishes if I were you lol. After you’re done eating, only wash what you used. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents. \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA- but you already know this. It wasn't your responsibility to hide it for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (30M) wife (24F) has always been a big cook. She's been doing it since she was very young and she's great at it. Her home cooked meals are (usually) out of this world. She usually cooks in her house, but she has said before that she doesn't mind since she's so much better at it (she says my food is bland) and I usually wash up and watch the kids.\n\nI'm not a super picky eater. I'll try anything once. But there's one thing I hate, mushrooms. They just make me gag.\n\nSo usually we don't eat mushrooms in our house or my wife will only cook them when she knows I'm not going to be home. But for the last few weeks, we're having mushrooms for dinner almost every other meal. Even in stuff you wouldn't usually put mushrooms in (like in a chicken salad) my wife has warned me there's mushrooms in.\n\nTwo days ago (after weeks of MUSHROOMS) I told her that I was having trouble eating with all the mushrooms we'd been having. She just shrugged at me and she has been relatively quiet since.\n\nSince then I've cooked my own dinner, which is fine but the kids have asked several times why I'm not eating the same thing as them.\n\nAITA for telling her I won't eat these mushroom meals anymore? ######","completion":" NTA- but seems like something is bothering her. She knows you don't like mushrooms but yet she is constantly putting them in everything. And also putting them in stuff that she normally don't. Seems like she is purposely doing this to get to you. Coming from a woman, something is up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life. \n\nMy mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.\n\nI used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.\n\nNormally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.\n\nNow, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.\n\nMom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.\n\nFinally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet. \n\nYesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.\n\nAm I really being disrespectful?\n\nAITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ######","completion":" NTA- but 150lbs seems an okay weight for your height ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I live in a 600+ sq ft apartment on a bottom floor with 2 cats. Quite recently, my gf had to make the decision to put down her dog due to liver failure. It was very fast and sudden, because we went in for a upset stomach and expected medication, not a lack of dog.\n\nShe immediatly started looking for another dog to adopt. I completly understand this, because getting another dog is part if the grieving process. However, this is where I wonder if I'm the asshole: I told her no. \n\nMy gf likes a \"beagle\/hound\" mix that isn't fully housetrained and used to be abused, so the world is still scary for them. I'm very hesitant on getting a dog, because for our last dog, a lot of the walking\/training resposibilities fell on me. I would get guilt-tripped into taking the dog out for walks by myself, while my gf would NEED me to be with her. I don't have the patience for dogs and while I like them, I'm more of a cat person anyways. I'm not ready for more financial costs and the emotional\/physical responsibility of another adult dog that has problems. We're gone 9 hours a day and we can't always afford dog walking\/sitting. However, its really hard to see my gf go through something like this. ######","completion":" NTA- being a good god owner is a lot of work, and it sounds like most of that work is falling on you. In my opinion that gives you veto power over getting another one. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: my ex and I have a 20 month old daughter. Ex and I live together even though we aren't any longer romantically involved and overall have a good relationship.\n\nLong story short: our daughter is a 20 months old and with special medical needs and have never left my side once since she was born. I've literally never been apart from her for more than 2 hours, say if her dad was taking her for a walk. \n\nDaughter is not yet in nursery because of her medical condition meaning I care for her all day long and work part time at night. Dad has left me with her for a total of 7 months in total split over several weeks at a time, sometimes he had to go for work and sometimes because he wanted to fly home to visit family. For 20 months I've not met with a friend or family member or gone to the hairdresser without my now toddler by my side. Due to our smallish apartment, I also sleep in her room. I don't remember the last time I was on my own.\n\nI'm going nuts, I'm exhausted, I'm getting more and more depressed by the day and I need a break. Just two nights in a hotel in the city somewhere. Doing nothing.\n\nMoney is not an issue but my ex insists that I'm being selfish and shouldn't want to go or want to be away from my daughter.  He's said that instead he'll take her for a few hours doing the weekend but in honesty, I just need away from them both for a day or two. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- because he would be the one that would stay with her while you’re gone right? Of course it’s not selfish to take a break. I wonder if it has to do more with him not wanting to be alone with her that long. Is there other family that can help with her if he’s absolutely not willing to? ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of backstory:Me and my step brother share a room, I am 17 and he is 15 and he HATES to shower like full on despises having to shower he is like a cat.  He plays football, and works out a lot so he sweats and has a nasty case of athlete BO, I hate having to smell that and I think in the past 5-6 months he has showered once (we aren't having any sort of financial crisis where he couldn't shower he just doesn't).  He's made the room almost unbearable and I pretty much sleep on the couch now cause of it and I put in a couple of those febreeze air fresheners. \n\nMain Problem:I was in my room on my phone when he came in after working out, it was extra bad this time I was getting up to leave the room cause I hate the smell.  He asked me why I was leaving and I said cause I don't wanna be in the room anymore thinking he would just drop it.  I guess he didn't like that and came out of the room asking if he did something wrong, I kept brushing him off cause I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but he wouldn't stop pushing the issue.\n\nMe:Dude you smell like shit.  Take a fucking shower, I can't deal with the smell anymore.  If you need help with how to properly shower ill show you or your dad can but you can't go on like how you are my guy. \n\n(His sister got involved cause she didn't like how I was talking to him or something) \n\nStep Sister:Don't talk to my brother like that\n\nMe:Come on, I'm just saying he needs to take a shower.  I am not trying to bash him but he needs one, he works out too much to not shower.  \n\nStep Sister:doesn't give you a right to be a fucking asshole to him\n\nAt this point my step dad got involved and sent them to their rooms and I was sent to the living room, my step dad was mad at me the most and said that I should have been nicer to my \"brother\".  I told him that he needs to make him shower and smell better, I even said id help him if he did but my step dad told me to drop the conversation and never bring it up again.  AITA????? ######","completion":" NTA- at 15 you shouldn’t have to be told to shower. Also he could have dropped the subject when you said you didn’t want to talk about. Everyone else in the household is just enabling his poor behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents moved to the States over 25 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan, but they’ve held onto their religion and culture pretty tightly ever since. I was raised in a very Muslim household with commands to pray 5 times a day and lectures on how to be a good Muslim. One of those rules is that dating is Islam is zinnah, a grave sin. In order to “date” in the religion, you have to get married first. Fast forward to last Saturday when I told my family about my 3-year long relationship with my white girlfriend.\n\nAt first they weren’t happy and demanded we broke up entirely. They didn’t see another way. Then my sister talked to them and convinced them of another avenue: getting us married under Islamic and US law and then leaving me to “commit mistakes” on my own, without my family’s support. To them, it’s either that or we have to break up. However, I don’t want to do either of those options. I would like to continue dating her until I can financially and emotionally support her to get married in the farther future. They won’t accept that at all on the basis that it’s not the Islamic way. Therefore, since I can’t marry her and don’t want to break up, I’ve decided to leave my house and figure it out on my own. \n\nI would be hurting my parents immensely and it’s possible they’ll never forgive me. But is their pain and resentment worth my independence? WIBTA for sacrificing my family and their financial support for a 3-year long girlfriend and a shot at independence? ######","completion":" NTA- as a middle easterner whose very familiar with the culture, I strongly think your parents are bluffing. They are now saying you have to do things their way but once you are married with kids, they will want to be apart of your life. Choose what makes you happy and they will eventually give in ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter was going to be a flower girl in a wedding that is one month away. I informed the bride yesterday I didn't feel comfortable being in large groups of people right now, with the way cases have been spiking again. She didn't say much to me, besides blocking me on social media. She did tell me not to worry about paying her back since \"I'm too poor to afford it\". Which is not the case since I've offered numerous times to pay. Everything was second hand, or very cheap. Total was barely $100, which I will still pay back anyways.\n\n\n She is 47 years old, with 5 kids, and at least 3 different dads. They range from 9 to 25. She has been married at least 2 other times. She also had a very extravagant wedding just 4 years ago. She looks like a serial bride. I mean, who has a huge ceremony like that for their 3rd wedding?!\n\n\nMy husband is firm on paying this woman back as he says it's just the right thing to do, and I agree until she kept calling me poor. (Before I pulled my daughter out, any time I offered it was another variation of \"No, you're too poor\". My husband honestly wants to pay her only to spite her...as weird as it nay sound. So, wibta if I didn't repay? I feel like yes, but I also kind of don't care\n\n\nEdited to add I cannot avoid these people. They live next to my mom and dad whom I do weekly chores for, and her 9 year old is always harrasing me when Im outside, and trying to play with my kids. Her future husband has known my parents for years. ######","completion":" NTA- and if you want to be Petty with Purpose, donate the $100 to charity in her name and send it to her as a wedding gift. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m pretty good with numbers and patterns. I also have Aspergers. I always keep a mini notebook on how people close to me are doing. I just note their moods and their overall feel everyday.\n \nI began dating my wife, Holly about 10 years ago. Back when we were 16. I did keep track of her moods back then. I noticed that there was a slight cycle of when she would be feeling down. I would always get her a small gift then, like some chocolate.\n \nI didn’t connect the dots till I showed my friend the notebook. He explained to me, while laughing that I was tracking her menstrual cycle. I didn’t think that information would be so private. I mean, I am her husband. Anyway, when she found about the notebook, she got super mad. She was extremely disappointed that I would stoop to such a low level. \n \nI don’t know what or if I did anything wrong. When I ask her what I did that was so wrong, she says nothing, but I’m pretty sure she’s lying.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA- Abed ######"}
{"prompt":"I imagine this is going to be a bit of an ESH, but here's the context:\n\nI have a nonbinary coworker, I'll call Ash, who unfortunately had their deadname printed on our weekly schedule for the first few weeks of their employment. They made it very clear to everyone they don't like to be referred to by it, and go by they\/them pronouns. I myself am trans (though not entirely out at work), so I'm pretty sensitive to people using the wrong name\/pronouns for someone.\n\nAnother coworker (Jessica) thought it was a great joke to annoy Ash by referring to them as their deadname and the wrong pronouns. Ash, as well as some others, had asked her to stop multiple times, she didn't. I got fed up, and started referring to Jessica as he\/him and by the wrong name. She was visibly annoyed whenever I did it, but nothing ever came of it and she has since been fired for unrelated reasons.\n\nThining back on it, I do feel kinda shitty about it as one of my positions is that a person doesn't need to *earn* the right to be referred to by the correct name\/pronoun, and I feel like I compromised my ethics on this. ######","completion":" NTA- “Jessica” was going out of her way to be an ass to “Ash”. You gave her a taste of her own medicine, and tbh if she was someone who never experienced gender dysphoria it would not have had as negative an effect on her as being dead named did on Ash. \n\nI’ve slipped up a few times with friends who transitioned and have been horrified and apologetic when it has happened. It costs nothing to be a decent person and respect pronouns and chosen names. Jessica is\/was a crappy person for no good reason and you may have been slightly childish but it wasn’t AH behaviour ######"}
{"prompt":"There's really not a whole lot of back story here. She's 39 weeks pregnant and keeps begging me to have sex because she thinks it'll help her go into labor. I've been denying her advances for the last month or so because I just don't have a drive to do anything. It's been hard on me because I feel like I’m upsetting her and I also don't quite understand why my drive left. I don't want her to feel like she's ugly or fat, but I don't feel like I should force myself to do something like that. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAnyway she's really upset with me because I told her today I can't handle her constantly asking me to do it or making jokes about how I won't. It's torture to me to constantly be reminded about this internal conflict I've been having regarding the subject. I know it's my fault that I didn't tell her sooner but this sort of reaction is exactly what I was afraid of. On the outside when she makes jokes or requests she sees me respond with a complementary laugh\/smile or a polite no.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe's upset with me for what seems like her assumption that I'm saying she's ugly\/fat now even though I told her specifically that's not true nor is it why. I know from a \"should you ever have sex if you don't want to\" standpoint the answer is that I'm in the right. But am I an asshole for not wanting to have sex with her right now? Should I have just kept it to myself and not told her to stop? ######","completion":" NTA- \n\nSo, I want to begin by saying this, nobody is ever an AH for not wanting sex. Nor are they an AH for wanting sex. One way or the other, it’s okay to have the feelings you are. \n\nYour wife is being pushy and insecure, which is partially due to the hormones flooding her body. But she is still responsible for actions and reactions towards the lack of sex in your life. In short, while I can empathize with her- she is still an AH and needs to be told. She needs to respect this boundary. \n\n\nNow, it seems like this is something that is incredibly draining, and is taking up a lot of your time worrying about it. My unasked for advice? Seek out a therapist to work through these issues on. It could be pre-baby jitters, it could be your sex drive naturally waning, it could be part of a medical issue. Without talking to someone or seeking help, you won’t know what it is. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad just proposed to his girlfriend. I truly, genuinely, did not know she didn't drink. The only time I've spent with her where a drink would typically be ordered are times that we've gone for coffee, so I've never been in a situation with her where she had the choice to order alcohol and she's never mentioned it. So because I didn't know she didn't drink, I sent them champagne.\n\nI got a phone call and an earful from dad with her audibly sobbing in the background. Dad wants me to make it up to her. On the call I heard her say \"ask that dyke how-\" and then the sound went muffled so I think dad covered the phone, but that's not even close to the first time she's called me that.\n\nMy stepmother loves flower langauge, as in what certain flowers represent and the meaning of each flower. I have done some rage googling and now have the knowledge required to create a bouquet that quite literally says \"fuck you\".\n\nI told my girlfriend what I was planning and she's said it's a great idea... right up until my stepmum tells my dad what the flowers mean.\n\nWIBTA for sending the rude flowers? ######","completion":" Nta- \"I'm gonna skip on the apology dad.\n\nWhat I did was purely accidental. Her calling me a dyke was not.\n\nYou sure you want to marry someone who calls your kid a dyke dad?\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I (14M) hate when people barge in on me very suddenly and without warning. I startle easily, and this makes me jump every time. I always get pissed after someone startles me, so I try to tell people to be slow and quiet when coming in, and to give warning. My parents usually knock quietly on my door when I'm in my room before coming in, which gives me warning and prevents me from jumping. \n\nMy sister (11F) doesn't do this.\n\nShe'll run up and burst in really quickly and loudly, which always startles me and always pisses me off.\n\nEarlier, she asked me why I'm always mad at her when she comes into my room. I told her it's because she always barges in so suddenly, and told her I wouldn't be as mad as often if she came in slowly and quietly. She promptly told me her personality wasn't like that and said she wouldn't be able to be slow and quiet when coming in.\n\nI told her that her personality wasn't an excuse, and that it wasn't much to ask for her to give warning, and, again, she said it was because that's just how she was. She then said I wouldn't jump if I was \"doing the right thing\", acting like the reason I startle easily is because I'm always on something I shouldn't be. I told her I startle no matter what, and she shook her head and started going on about how she's defending her position and holding strong to what she thinks is right. I kept trying to tell her it wasn't, and she started using her excuse, \"different opinions\". \n\nShe then went back to being upset that I didn't seem to like her. I repeated that all she had to do was be slow and quiet when coming in on me, and again she said that's not how her personality was.\n\nI said, \"sucks for you, then,\" got up, and left.\n\nSo, Reddit, am I in the right for wanting her to just try to make an effort to not startle me every time she comes in, or AITA because her personality is so energetic that she can't, she's only 11, and I should make an effort to not startle so easily anyway? ######","completion":" NTA-  Your sister is young, but she's already latched on to a dangerous excuse in life. The \"that's just the way I am\" is the excuse people give when they know they're being assholes but expect others to adjust to their asshole behavior instead of changing their asshole behavior and become better people.\n\nEven the noisiest, most energetic extrovert will stop and knock quietly on the door of their introverted friend's home if they know it's important to their friend. Sometimes in life, you have to do something that is out of character for you to show love and respect to someone that means a lot to you and that person probably does the same for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"so i come from a very traditional muslim family in turkey and since i'm 17 now my family started to put a lot of pressure about getting married bla bla. i'm closeted and my parents are super homophobic and religious. so today randomly the idea of having kids was brought up.\n\ni accidentally told that i won't have any which sent my mom to a breakdown. she started shouting at me cause she won't have grandchildren, calling me selfish. (i didn't talk ab adoption cause she is really against it for some reason?)\n\nwhatever i shouted hat she was the one being selfish and that it's my life &amp; i get to choose what i do (that was the safest thing to say without outing myself) she started crying and called me ungrateful. i was pretty confident that i was right but then my sister (who knows i'm gay) and she told me that i acter irresponsible and hurt her feelings?\n\nso am i the asshole for making my mum cry just by telling her i won't have kids ######","completion":" NTA youre right. It is your life. In the past, you had to have kids as helpers for things like farming and to take care of you as you got older, now theyre treated like pets for your parents to coo over. The \"need\" for kids is over beyond a genuine want to parent. You don't need to have kids to take care of you in your old age, times have changed, and if your mom wants something to fawn over, tell her to get a dog. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I (38m) was about to get into the shower, but my wife (39f) told me that she was going to pick up groceries and was going to be 15 minutes. And she asked if I could shower the kids (5f, 3m) while she was gone. I said okay. \n\n\nI didn’t want to shower my kids and then go into the shower myself because that seemed like a huge waste of water, and my wife showers with the kids very often, so I figured I would take them into the shower with me. I washed them and then myself, we dried off and I wrapped a towel around my waist. My daughter went to go get dressed and I went to get my son dressed. \n\n\nMy wife came home at this point and she came upstairs. She saw me with wet hair and my son too. She asked, “Did you shower daughter?” I told her yes. She said “That’s so fudged up!” (She didn’t want to swear in front of my son). I asked why and she said because she is a girl. I told her that our son showers with her and he’s a boy. She said that it’s different and asked that I wouldn’t shower with our daughter again. I said I wouldn’t but I was still confused. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Your wife needs to look up \"double standards\". Did she allow you to bathe your daughter and change her diaper in the past? You're her father and it's more fudged up that she thinks she is allowed to bathe with the kids but you're not. Selfish much? ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a couple months ago but everything’s starting to calm down and the shelter in place order will be taken off and I can start next week. \nSome background: I (16f) have been babysitting and tutoring for the past 5 years to pay for anything I needed. I’ve taken classes, have great references, and I’m disabled and babysitting is a lot easier than other jobs for me. I’ve also always found my own jobs by posting ads on nextdoor. \n\nMy sister (17f) saw I was doing pretty well and asked our mom to find her some jobs. My mom looked on nextdoor and found a lady saying she needs a babysitter for her 3 toddlers, decided it would be perfect for my sister, and waited for my sister to get home to show her. I had no clue and I commented on her ad saying I’m available and stuff like I’m cpr certified and I have experience and references. An hour later my sister gets home from her boyfriend’s house and my mom pulled up the ad and saw my comment and started screaming at me for “stealing your sister’s job”. Well a couple hours later the mom got back to me and said she’d love to meet with me so I drove to her house and met her and her kids and she offered me a job for every Friday night. I took the job because I need a way to pay for gas, hanging out with friends, buying a new phone, paying my phone bill, etc. I told my mom and both her and my sister aren’t speaking to me.  \nAlso my sister had a stable job working at my dad’s store for almost $15 per hour but quit because he made her sweep the floor.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your sister sounds like a lazy fuck\n\n-quit a 15$\/HOUR job for not wanting to sweep floor\n\n-asks her mother to find jobs for her while she goes to her boyfriends house\n\nYeah fuck that ######"}
{"prompt":"Preface: I am 27 year old male and i have arthritis in my lumbar spine as well as a bulge in the same area. My only relief is laying down supine on my bed. Every other activity hurts. Walking, sitting, standing, everything. I just finished a year of unsuccessful treatment and being young my doctor said I could be placed on permanent restrictions but not permanent disability.\n\n\nMain issue: \n\nI'm coming home from picking up my dog from my girlfriends house as she was babysitting. I get home it's like 11:15 pm. There is absolutely no parking and my dad has the driveway because he pays the bills. \n\nI ask my sister and her guests of like 8 people  if anyone is parked directly in front of our house. One guy responds and I ask politely \" if you don't mind parking somewhere else I really appreciate it. I have back issues and it would really help me out if I didn't have to walk far.\" \n\nThen my sister chimes in \" I don't give a fuck, he doesn't have to move, if you got a problem with it then take it up with dad\". \n\nI disregard her. I repeat myself to her guest a simple \" I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out \" he obliged and we switched spots. ( The nearest parking spot was about a little less than quarter of a mile upward. Thanks COVID-19 now you have everyone home there's no parking)  no harm no foul. Now I hear my sister berating me to her guests about \" how I'm such a bitch and an asshole and how I'm faking an injury\"\n\n\nNow I'm not sure if this is relevant but I feel I should mention that our mother passed away unexpectedly on June 29th, 2020 and idk if I should just chalk it up to my sister still being hurt from our mom's passing. \n\n\nI just believe that since I live here, and given my back problem i was okay in asking him to switch spots with me. \n\nWas I the asshole for doing so? ######","completion":" NTA your sister is probably still greiving but it doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit. You asked someone nicely who doesn't live there to move there car because you're in constant pain so no you are not the asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (17) has been sneaking out to meet a boy for the past few days. She snuck out to go to a park near our house  so i was okay with it. I only had to open the door for her when she went out and when she came back but lately she has been staying far too late even after telling me she won’t.\nYesterday, she came in my room and told me she will go to a town near us (about a 20 minute ride) with one of her friends motorcycles, i was not okay with this and told her no but she didn’t listen. I let her out and was really worried about her because of obvious reasons, i texted her multiple times to tell me when she’s coming, she said she’ll be home around 2am. The time comes around and she’s nowhere to be found, i text her again and she says she’ll come back at 4am. I got pissed at her and around 4 i just opened the door and went to take a bath, she came home at 5.\nWhen she came back i told her that i’m mad at her and that i won’t help her sneak out again. She apologized through text.. AITA?\n\n\nalso, i’m ok with her going to the park because basically nothing can happen to her in our really small town and i’m not worried about the boy she’s going with because i know him quite well ######","completion":" NTA your sister is being selfish. If you make plana\/agreements you should stick to them. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my friend's account btw for obvious reasons.\nMy little sis (10) is usually forced to go to birthday parties she doesn't want to when she's invited. She can be selectively social &amp; only likes hanging out with some kids she likes. \n\nMy mom (43) was invited to an event where a bunch of moms from my sister's school gather &amp; gossip, play games, dance, etc. Kids were also invited &amp; there were not going to be the few bffs that my sis hangs out with. She knew she had to go as mom was going to take her anyway and worked up a little bit of an excitement.\n\nHowever, my mom started picking out her clothes for her and told her she was wearing a green turtle neck that she knows she hates. My mom loves that top on her &amp; even when she protested, my mom told her she was wearing it and it was final. My sister screamed &amp; cried as she didn't want to wear it and thought she looked ugly in it. She ended up wearing it and cried the whole way there.\n\n4 months have passed and this came up in a conversation today. My mom was talking about how my sis doesn't listen to anything she says and I told her she could f*ck off. I had seen my sis that day scrubbing her face that day trying to not feel\/look like sh*t to make up for the hideous top. \n\nMy parents call a family meeting and told me I was being disrespectful as a daughter (I'm 21 btw) and I should apologise to my mom for my behaviour. AITA here &amp; should I cave? ######","completion":" NTA your sister is a human being not a fucking doll.\n\nYou mum has issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my (20F) sister (18F) doesn’t have any kids however we were discussing trans kids and my sister said that if her kid came out to her as trans, she wouldn’t accept them. My sister has not always been the best but recently she gotten worse. Using the word f*ggot, using gay as a synonym for shitty, fake throwing up at gay sex scenes on tv (note: this isn’t a twelve year old being disgusted by any sex scene, she only does this with gay sex scenes). As a bisexual this has been really hard for me to put up with so after she made the trans comment, I turned round and said ‘you shouldn’t have kids then and if she did that, that’s how she would lose her kid’ (as in the kid would stop talking to her once they could). My mum just told us to stop having this conversation. AITA for telling my sister to not have kids? ######","completion":" NTA Your sister is a bigot and showing social disapproval for bigotry is one of the things good people can do to decrease overall societal bigotry. It doesn't necessarily help the bigot (although it can), but it makes them more hesitant to voice their bigotry, which helps to decrease the spread of that bigotry to other people, which is beneficial. ######"}
{"prompt":"Extended family is split on this.  We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground).  It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim.  I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool.  Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious?  You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?”  So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your reasons are totally relevant, your ext family is being selfish. Not dying is more important than not being hot for a while. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 15 male and my sister(21F) and I(15M) decided to die my hair bleach blond today. My siblings hairs are blond because they are blood related to my parents and my dad has diry blond hair and my mom has just straight up blond hair but I'm Korean they adopted me from Korea when I was 5. I have recently been feeling a disconnect from my family and kind of feeling like the odd one out. When I told my sister(21F) this we decided to dye my hair not because it will help me look like that cuase there is no way I can look white but to just help me feel better about myself she dyes her hair different colors and she said after she dyes her hair she feels refreshed and able to do anything she wants it give her confidence which is something I'm lacking right now. We were originally going to dye my hair blue but we just went for bleach blond. Well we did it and when my mom saw she freaked out on me and my sister. She told me I ruined my hair and blamed my sister for giving me the idea. We didnt think I needed permission to die my hair at 15 years old. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your parents are overreacting. It’s just hair. ######"}
{"prompt":"As stupid as this all sounds my mil tried to get my wife to divorce me over a sandwich AND part of the family AGREED with her. I and my wife do not in any way think I am the TA but why not let strangers on the internet decide? \n\nWhen I first started dating wifey MIL was actually nice to me, she was a decent human being. However I always felt she thought me and  wifey were going to break up. Turns out I was right because the second we announced our engagement the shit hit the fan. She started screaming at my wife about not consulting with her first before getting engaged( she knew we were thinking about marriage before hand). She started picking fights with me for no reason. If I didn’t open the door for my wife, I didn’t have any respect for her. If I didn’t offer MIL to wash the dishes quick enough, I was going to be a terrible husband. She showed her toxic colors, you know the drift. \n\nHere’s the part where I might be the TA. MIL came to visit us and I offered to make everybody sandwiches. Mil said she wanted a spicy one. I told her we had no spicy sauce and she insisted on having a spicy sandwich. She told me to go buy some than proceeded to tell me exactly what brand a kind of spicy sauce she wanted. Of course I was done with dealing with her shit but trying to still be polite. I told her nicely that I would not go buy some for her but she could go buy some if she wanted. That did not make her happy. Half and hour of banshee screaming later we kicked her out. \n\nSo of course MIL told everyone about the incident, where I was the bad guy who was abusive towards an old lady. Most of the family fortunately did not believe her BS but I did get quite a few angry texts and calls from other family members. Recently A family member texted me about how much a TA I was and I was like, I have free time why not post it on reddit? So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your not a caterer. You were polite and offered to make her a sandwich with the ingredients available. You never suggested you were going to the store. Asking is one thing. Demanding is another. Take what your given or get nothing at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.    \n\n\nMy mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room \"how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong.\"   \n\n\nHonestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your mother is very childish ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate.\n\nA bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me. \n\nAnyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It.\n\nGetting my ears pierced was also a \"rite of passage\" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced. \n\nI sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for \"going behind her back\" to do a \"feminine rite of passage\" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand. \n\nMaybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your mom should not have put that sort of expectation on a kid's shoulders. Children aren't responsible for ensuring their parents' happiness. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, this is my first post here.\n\nI'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.\n\nThey were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too. \n\nLong story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.\n\nNow my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.\n\nAnyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.\n\nAITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######","completion":" NTA your mom might have had a shred of a good point if she had bought them for you, but she doesn’t even have that going for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom knows the perfect words to get under my skin and sometimes it drives me crazy. She seems to never be satisfied in me.\n\nAn example would be when I made the varsity soccer team and I ran home to show her my name on the roster. She then said 'Wow. You're name is on the bottom. They must've picked you last'. \n\nYou can imagine how much it hurt. \n\nAnd as you know America takes sports super seriously. When I didn't do well in a game I would already be upset in myself and feel disappointed in myself. She adds on to this by saying stuff like 'You only played for 45 min. You're not as good as the rest, you can't compete against them'. Honestly, when I'm trying my best but I have to hear her say stuff like this, it just really makes me angry. Especially since I know she's never supported my athletic endeavors and is just saying this to make me quit.\n\nAnother time was last year's AP exam. I studied really hard and came home with a 3 and was proud of it. When I showed her she said 'That's only a 3? That's not very good' \n\nAgain, hit me really hard as I was proud of it.\n\nFinally, this was what made me snap, I recently got accepted into my college of choice. I worked really hard and was proud of it. My younger brother is really smart. My mom said 'Your brother got a letter of consideration from Princeton. You need to work harder' \n\nI got so angry at her and pointed out how she's never accomplished anything in her life. She then got really defensive and started saying how much she's contributed to my accomplishments. I then said I got to where I am without her and I won't need her ever again.\n\nIt felt really bad. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Your mom is an asshole and has been a constant asshole to you throughout your life, so you don't owe her politeness any more. ######"}
{"prompt":"After my mum served me and my stepdad butter chicken for dinner,  I went and got some more sauce to moisten my rice since there was only curry on part of my plate. Not any chicken, just the sauce. There was barely any left before I grabbed some but my stepdad still complained that if I'd left it, \"it could've been another meal\" even though there were only 3 bits of chicken left and I grabbed none. I tried to tell him I only grabbed a little sauce but he started ranting on about how back in his day he \"wasn't allowed to grab more pasta if he'd already been served some\". I didn't realize getting a little sauce was the same as pasta? After his rant I say \"yeah, I agree\" then ask \"but what's wrong with getting some sauce?\"... A simple question. But he doesn't answer and starts shouting, saying \"I didn't listen to him\" even though I clearly acknowledged him. I try to explain to him but he keeps on interrupting me like he always does with everyone in the family. He then slams the table with all his strength causing wine bottles and food to tip over. \"I'M SICK OF YOU FUCKS\". This causes my mum to leave the table followed by me. \n\nIn my room, I hear my mum in the lounge crying and him shouting \"WHY ARE YOU CRYING?\".\n\n Why wouldn't she be crying?\n\n \"THE PROBLEM IS YOUR SON WHO'S A GREEDY FAT FUCK\", \"STOP MAKING ME OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY\" he says.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA your idiot stepdad was feeling insecure and tried to assert some authority based on either a misunderstanding or a random shot, and threw a tantrum when it didn't work. What a pathetic person.\n\nHe absolutely should not be treating you or your mother this way and he seems to have either some resentment or some twisted views of his role in the family that you should talk privately and urgently with your mother about. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all,\nFirst post so apologies.\n\nMy husband works in almost an all female environment and has done almost 20 years, I accept these work friendships\nLast few weeks I've been telling him that co worker texting him after 10pm asking for a lift is inappropriate, he agrees but doesn't control when they text him.\nhubby has had 2 weeks annual leave and Last night at 1:30am he had a missed call of co worker. He didn't answer we were alseep! \nHe messaged this morning to see what she wanted and it transpires that she had had an episode where she had taken too many paracetamol in an attempt to end her life. \nCo worker had a partner, has family and friends of her own. I say reaching out to hubby was way over the line and although I sympathise she needs to back off, she is crossing boundaries. Hubby agrees and simply didn't reply.... I want to message and tell her directly. However, I recognise she's currently in a bad place mentally and don't want to cause her further anguish. WIBTA?\n\nJust to add there are no trust issues between hubby and myself and she has never sent suggestive messages but has previously phoned drunk during the early hours where she was told to stop. ######","completion":" NTA Your husband needs to set better boundaries with coworkers.  I know you say you both don’t have trust issues.  That’s fantastic.  But this is throwing red flags for emotional affairs. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL;DR — my husband started a YouTube channel, which I fully supported but I asked him to not record me and told him I didn’t want to be in his videos and he flipped out and deleted the whole YouTube channel. AITA?\n\n•\n•\n•\nMy husband started a YouTube channel. He got a wild, hare brained idea that it was a good idea. He told me about it, showed me his first video, I told him it was very funny and I supported him 100%. He said it was going to be a “funny, relatable, YouTube channel for dads”, I told him it was a great idea, and fully supported it. Until he tried to secretly record me and post it. I told him as he was recording me (as soon as I realized he was) that I do consent to being put on videos that are displayed for the public. And it wasn’t a sexual video or anything like that. It was literally a video of me sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of lucky charms. I don’t care what it was about, I point blank said I didn’t want to be in his videos. I still supported him making the channel, and told him I could support him without being in the videos. He then said he was going to post it anyway, made a comment about posting videos of our kids. I was adamantly against that — I don’t want our kids displayed for world to see. It’s just nothing something I agree with personally because I don’t want anyone to look at my child in an inappropriate way and unfortunately, the world we live in, the Internet is a child sex offenders hunting grounds. I just don’t want my kids to be out there like that, plain and simple. Anyway, he flipped out. Told me I didn’t support him, he was tired of it always being an issue if it wasn’t my way. Which it’s the complete opposite. He behaves like a child when he doesn’t get his way, always trying to guilt me into things. We fought for a while about it and I finally just walked away. He deleted the entire channel and refused to speak to me the rest of the night. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA your husband is acting like a toddler. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory. My grandma (64F) has never had her own place and has always lived with someone her whole life. I have a two year old and a five month old and after hearing her complaining about not getting to see family and my mom kicking her out my husband (32M) and I (23F) offered her a place to stay at our house two states away.\n\nSo heres my issue. She isn't required to pay anything here. Doesn't help with rent or bills or groceries. All I've asked is for a little help with the kids in the mornings as my husband works nights and I use night to study my courses.\n\nEverything started out great. She was helpful and seemed to be enjoying the few hours in the morning with the greatgrands. Over the past several months she's begun taking three to four days every week and a half to drive three hours away to see her old boyfriend. Ok. No problem there.\n\nThen she's begun to step outside to smoke every hour or so and stays outside for 45mins- a hour. Still no problem.\n\nNow on top of all that she's begun complaining when my husband doesn't wake up at 7am when she normally is up and when the kids are up by 8am. He typically works till 1-2am and I'm up and down all night with the youngest. Like this is mainly the reason she moved in.\n\nSo WIBTA if I suggest that it seems the kids are stressing her out to much and she should move in with her boyfriend? Or even suggest she start helping with bills regularly? ######","completion":" NTA your house your rules, your priority right now is your kids and your husband any other family come second after that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so backstory here\nI live with my friend in his house and rent from him, due to lots of previous personal experiences his ex dosen't like me, one bit, she despises me. He and his ex are kinda friends, they hang out every once in awhile while I'm at work. I don't really care, I don't talk to her, I don't associate with her. She is literally insane, broke down when she saw my fish in the living room, insisted I don't belong in the house, etc. My friend had to defend me. She has stalked my social media for months and put together a whole notebook of my posts, she has gone around spreading lies and rumors about me and cost me a lot of close relationships and loved ones who turned on me. I've gotten over all of this through much pain and forgiveness. \n\nSo I log onto my switch me and my friend both split half and half, we each paid half for it. I see a new profile with her name. I think \"ok whatever\", I go to log onto animal crossing to play with my friend for a bit. I see a random new tent, I think it's a new little resident at first. My friend points out it has a mailbox and is pink on the map. I read the username. Its my friends ex who has now set up her tent on my animal crossing island. Neither of them asked me, I bought that game 100% myself. \n\nSo I deleted her account off the switch and from my ac game. AITA? I don't want her in my life, I don't want to see her, talk to her or hear about her. My friend can hang out with her if he chooses, it's his life. But I don't need her in mine. ######","completion":" NTA your game, your rules. But more importantly, why on earth do you still live there?? This person is clearly harassing you, stalking you, and ruining aspects of your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I was selling a couple of my son’s old baby items online and as I was cleaning out the garage, I saw a Bugaboo pram set we borrowed from a friend when my son was younger.  So I called her to see if she wanted to come to get it and she asked if I could sell it with my items for her and she wants $300 for it, and sure I’m fine with that. \n\nSo a few people had some interest in the pram and I finally got an interested buyer one evening who would come and collect it for the $300 the next morning. We swapped numbers, address etc and in my eyes its sold unless she doesn’t come and get it in the morning.\n\nIn the morning I had another lady message me about the pram and I advised her that it’s pretty much sold pending pick up\/payment and that the lady is actually coming to collect it this morning and if she doesn’t get here by lunchtime I will release it to her instead, because the deal was morning pick up\/payment. This new lady was quite desperate it seems and offers me $350 if I cancel the other lady now and give her the pram. But I said no sorry its sold pending and I’m not sure if the lady is already in her car driving to my house I just can’t call her and turn her around if she were.\n\nI told my friend this happened when I gave her her money and she calls me TA because I didn’t cancel one woman and accept the other woman and get her the better price and now she’s responding to me with one word responses. WTH? ######","completion":" NTA your friend should be thanking you for going thru the effort of the sale on her behalf. You weren’t getting commission so you shouldn’t be put out by making yourself uncomfortable about cancelling on someone to make your friend more money, ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents. \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA your friend is TA for asking. Dont screw yourself for a friendship that probably will end when ya leave HS. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background\n\nI'm 13 f and i have JIA (arthritis for kids)\n\nThis happened when I was 11 and has been bugging me ever since\n\nThe actual event\n\nMy \"best friend\" had been singling me out after my diagnosis. She had stopped inviting me to her house and when my friend group went out she would \"forget\" to tell me. One day I faceTimed her and told her that she needed to stop with this. She told me that she was just playing. I was so mad as this was all intentional. I lost all my friends because of this. I had cried every night because of this. At that point I snapped and told her to \"fuck off and get out of my life\" I didn't talk to her for a month. We have since made amends but she still tells me that I was an asshole.\n\nSo Reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA your friend excluded you when you were I’d imagine feeling really sad, that’s not cool. I get sometimes when we’re young we don’t always deal with things in the best way like her behaviour   And knowing how to treat you if she thought you were ill but she still needs to be accountable for how she made you feel. If she tells you you were an asshole remind her of her awful behaviour and what she did too. \nAlso on a side note I bet you’re freaking strong to be dealing with JiA you deserve friends who you can count on to be there for you x ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title seems bad but bare with me.\n\nLast February my grandad passed away, he lived with my grandma and my aunt and he used to be the person they both relied on heavily. After his passing my grandma kinda gave up in life and stopped eating, sleeping and such, it got so bad that she started having hallucinations where she saw “little girls asking for food”. \n\nWe decided to bring her to a doctor who diagnosed her with severe depression and a mild senile dementia and prescribed some medication for them.\n\nMy family for various cultural reasons think that either you are completely sane or you should be confined in a mental hospital, there is no inbetween.\n\nOnce back home after a couple of days I checked in with my aunt to see if the medication started working or if there was any side effects we should worry about and she told me not to worry. At the end of the week I checked again and to my surprise grandma was getting worse, I asked my aunt what happened and the told me they were not gonna give her the medication since grandma “was not mad” and “just needed family support”.\n\nAt this point I decided to go every morning and evening to eat with her and help out, I prepared breakfast and dinner for her and following the papers the doctor gave us I slipped the medication into her food.\n\nAfter a week or week and a half we started to see some progress, less hallucinations, she started to eat and sleep more by her own will...\n\nMy family saying that thanks to the family support she got better and that medicine wasn’t at all needed and how this proved she was not “mad”. I got fed up with the bs and told everyone what I had done.\n\nAll hell broke loose and I was banned from grandma’s house and everyone stopped talking to me for being the one who said my grandma was “mad” (never said so, just said she needed help). AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your family on the other hand are the assholes they saw results and tossed it to the side and called you mad for proving them wrong.\n\nEdit: I got to thinking your family has the same mentality of flat earthers and anti vaxxers and other extremes. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (25) and happily engaged to a wonderful women.\nI came out to my family last year and since then I was proposed to, I said yes horah.\nHowever my family are, to say the least deeply Conservative. Growing up they were excessively anti-LGBTQ+ which made coming out really hard, I made them a promise that I wouldn't post on social media about it until they were ready and to give them a heads up.\nIt's been almost a year and they stopped speaking to me other than to send me homophobic news articles. \n\nToday over pride month I wanted to tell my friends and cousins. To be honest and show my love, so I spoke to my cousins who expressed support like no other. And I wrote my post on Facebook to the wider audience.\nThen the phone calls from my immediate family came in, demanding I delete the post as I had promised them I'd ask first. My older sister told me she owed me nothing anymore and that my parents were going to kill themselves over it unless I deleted it immediately.\nThese people haven't spoken to me about how I feel, and about me coming out. They've refused to see me when I offer to fly home, saying I'm welcome in their house but not as a gay woman.\n\nI have refused to delete the post and everyone else is giving me the love and support I've needed this last year. My family have told me I've betrayed them.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA your family is homophobic they would have never given you \"permission\" and tbh your better of without them in your life ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex wife and I have a thirteen year old son. He’s deathly afraid of thunderstorms and has been since he was little. The other night, when he was over at my house, a huge storm rolled in. He wound up sleeping with me that night because it was the only way he’d calm down. \n\nWhen he went to his mother’s house a few days later, I got a call from her. She asked me how he did with the storm, then got onto me for sleeping with him. She told me that it’s okay to tuck him in whenever there’s a storm, but sleeping with him will make him soft. \n\nI tried to tell her that it was the only way he would calm down, but she wouldn’t listen. She literally wouldn’t let me talk, she just kept shushing me. After a few minutes of this, I blew up. I cussed her out for about 5 minutes, I finished the call, saying that I can comfort him however he wants. \n\nI’ve never done that to her before and I feel extremely bad. I was just mad that she went out of her way to tell me what to do at my house. ######","completion":" NTA your ex-wife epitomises the culture of toxic masculinity. Ironic, isn’t it?\n\nChrist on a bike kids don’t toughen up by not giving them the emotional support they need. They just turn into assholes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and his wife has a Life360 group including my kids (16 and 20) and her kids. Although I pay for one of my kids' phones, they are not allowed to take Life360 off the phone. \n\nEssentially this means he can track what they're doing when they're with me (and me, by proxy). He's made comments to them in the past about where we've gone, if I've sped or if we didn't do anything at all.\n\nHe even has my family members set up as alerts (I think this means he'd get an alert if we visited them?) \n\nWIBTA if I told the kids to turn the stupid app off while they're with me? However, doing that would likely cause them to get flack from their father (he won't confront or talk to me about it -- if I even call to ask him nicely, he'll give them crap) and make their time with him more stressful. Do I suck it up or take a stand and start to show them that these types of apps are invasive and not \"safety\" based. ######","completion":" NTA your ex needs to stop helicopter parenting and stop stalking his own kids. Especially when they are with you. Is there a way to let the courts know this is going on in case there's a possibility of them putting a stop to it? ######"}
{"prompt":"\nalright so, my dad has been very insistent that since i entered university, he needs to know where i am at all times. the options were either to live-share my location, or download one of those apps that inform you what your child is doing. and i tried to convince him otherwise. but it didn’t work out.\n\nso what i actually did was i got a burner phone and installed it there, and my dad’s been tracking the burner phone instead. if for example, i’m doing something he disapproves of, like going out to lunch with friends, buying cigarettes, being in a bar, etc. i leave it with a friend who won’t be leaving university.\n\nso when my dad travelled, i was going to sleepover in a friends house, and i told my dad i was pulling an all-nighter in my university, and gave it to a friend who was there studying.\n\nand then my friend all travelled back to their home countries.\n\nso that friend unthinkingly took the phone with him, and now my location shows up all the way across the globe. and my dad found that out yesterday, and was like wtf and assumed it to be a technological glitch - i told him it was probably because i use VPN’s.\n\nwell i told my girlfriend last night because i was finding it really funny that i was showing up in another country i clearly was not in, and she lost it at me and told me the reason my dad tracks me is because i do shit like this and therefore he can’t trust me, and that i should come clean.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA your dad sounds very controlling in an unhealthy way as you’re 20 and going out to lunch and stuff like that is very normal early twenties things to do. It’s your life now and you are free with it to do as you will. This is a huge red flag with your girlfriend that she sides with your controlling parent and if I were you I would be seriously reconsidering your relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello. I bought my parents a house and specified that it was for both of them when I was giving it to them. I told them they could either live there together, or vacation there, or visit separately, I don’t care. But I promised them both half. \n\nI just found out that my father lives there with his mistress and my mother doesn’t know but he makes her not feel comfortable when she brings up the idea to visit. By the way, they’re still married. Would I be the asshole if I gave him a warning and if he didn’t comply, kick him out? \n\nTo specify, I STRONGLY think it would be an asshole move which is why I haven’t done it yet. But I love my mum and I think she deserves to be able to visit whenever she wants, or at least half the time. ######","completion":" NTA Your dad is not living up to the agreement for the house.  You and your mom deserve respect. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I saved up a ton of money and I decided to buy a tv for my room, snacks, and my sister’s mini fridge (she gave it to me for 50). I redecorated my room and I really love it.\nMy sisters hadn’t seen my room until earlier this year. They all love it. It was fine in the beginning. I let them come in with my permission, watch tv, and eat the snacks I bought (the ones I’m not the biggest fan of). The two other TV rooms were occupied by our parents so I understood. \nBut, after about two months, things started to go downhill. I’d wake up to them barging into my room to watch tv, I’d come home from runs and they’d be in there, I’d go to sleep with them still watching tv because they’d refuse to leave at night. They also always leave wrappers, mess up my bed sheets, and move around my bean bag chair.\nI asked them to stop doing this multiple times, but they’re all acting like entitled, spoiled brats. Whenever I ask them to leave, they all give excuses like “I used to live here” or “I gave you the fridge” or “You never use it.” I reminded them that they all have iPhone, iPads, and Mac Books, but they say that my room is better. The final straw, however, was two weeks ago. I went for a run, and my sister asked if she could use my tv. I said no because they’d come in unannounced again the day before. I left and when I came back, they were all in there watching tv. I completely flipped out and yelled at them to leave. I asked my dad to fix the lock on my door and he did. But, when they discovered it, they all freaked out. They’re all calling me spoiled, entitled, and an AH (among other things).\n\nAITA for putting the lock on to keep them out? ######","completion":" NTA your dad even fixed the lock, isn't like you did it in secret \n\nJust for curiosity, what age are you and your sisters? (In case that your father could help with the situation) ######"}
{"prompt":"My estranged father is nearly impossible to get ahold of. I mean he maybe reaches out after my failed attempts once every few months. Well I live out of state and I was 8 months pregnant and my bf proposed. My father now refuses to talk to me because he feels disrespected that my bf did not ask his permission (or blessing) to propose. I personally find this to be an antiquated tradition that is disrespectful to me. Esp at 8 months pregnant and my dad not really being a major part of my life. \n\nI so badly want to have a relationship with my dad even if it’s once in awhile. AITA or is he? ######","completion":" NTA your dad doesn’t get to pick and choose when he gets to be a father. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse.\nFast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your brother distracted you during a test then insulted you instead of apologising. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so my boyfriend atm stays home and I work three 12s a week. That said, I like to meal prep so I don’t have to cook every day for my lunches. \n\nWell, my boyfriend, WHO STAYS HOME ALL DAY, thinks it’s a good idea to eat my lunches while i’m at work. I’ve asked him to stop but he says, “But your food is so good. Plus why don’t you make more so I can have some?” I’ve told him multiple times that I’m stressed and that I can’t make more meals because it’s a lot of work. \n\nSo he continued to eat my food. I remember that he HATES spicy food while I really enjoy it. So what do I do? Add spice. A lot of it. \n\nLast time he ate something of mine, he called me yelling at me. He said I was being an asshole and that I know he hates spicy food. I told him, “Tough. Stop eating my food then.”\n\nNow he’s mad at me....\n\nTl;dr- After asking my boyfriend NOT to eat my meal prepped food, I purposely made my latest meal preps SUPER spicy and now my boyfriend says I’m an asshole. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your boyfriend is home all day and is too lazy to cook for himself while you, an essential worker I assume, has barely enough energy to make herself lunches so she can eat during a fucking pandemic. Not only do I not think you're an asshole, I think your boyfriend is showing you his true character here.\n\nAlso you might enjoy this: [https:\/\/www.askamanager.org\/2016\/07\/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me.html](https:\/\/www.askamanager.org\/2016\/07\/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me.html)\n\nAnd the update: [https:\/\/www.askamanager.org\/2016\/10\/update-a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me.html](https:\/\/www.askamanager.org\/2016\/10\/update-a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me.html) ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway, don’t want to be harassed by prolifers.\n\n\nHad an abortion last February. Birth controlled failed, we both didn’t want to be parents. \n\nIt got brought up the other day and he was like “yeah Linda was shocked you had one.” (his mom) and I was really confused why he told his ultra conservative mom about it? \n\nWhen I told him it made me uncomfortable that he told his family without telling me he said it wasn’t a big deal. \n\nHere’s where I might be an asshole. I said it’s not his medical procedure to disclose in the first place and given it’s something people are heavily opinionated on I don’t think it’s fair he talked about it without telling me first, I told him I understand if he needed to vent about it but at least give me a heads up I guess? Especially to super pro life people I see for holidays? I haven’t told anyone in my family and I only told one of my friends who was curious about them. it’s just uncharted territory I guess. But he didn’t say sorry and said he didn’t see the big deal. I asked him if he regrets it or is upset by it and he literally says “no I don’t care, it just came up naturally”\n\nAITA? I literally have no idea. ######","completion":" NTA Your bf is a jerk.  Your medical procedures are no ones business but yours.  He has no right to discuss this without asking you first. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for running away from my house.\n\nSo I’m a 17 M who lived with his parents. So my parents are very overprotective. My mom has life 360, checks my phone always, takes my phone at night, strong curfew and stuff like that. At 17 my curfew is 10. \n So yesterday my girlfriend wanted to FaceTime me and talk. SHe is dealing with the loss of his mother from cancer and is having a very hard time dealing with it. We were talking for a very long time when I realized that it was 11 at night. I really did not care because I could tell that she was very upset and I want to comfort her. About and hour later my mom barges in and before I can even say anything she takes my phone and tells me I’m grounded.i tell her that I was talking to my girlfriend and trying to help her deal better. She says she does not care because I went over curfew and says I’m gonna get in even more trouble for talking back. I don’t know what happend but I just flipped. I yelled at her, I was just done. I took my phone and ran away from the house and ran it my girlfriend house. Now my mom is blasting my phone and saying she is coming to get me and I will never be let out of the house again. \n\nReddit Am I the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA your almost an adult, I would hope your mom would learn to loosen the leash a bit and have you learn how to take care of yourself. Also, you were comforting your gf, that is not a crime and it was insensitive in my opinion of her to take away your phone. I'm glad you were there for your gf during that time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So there’s a new bubble tea store in Melbourne where they charge you for your cup size (regular $5.50, large $7.50 and bucket $9), and you can fill it up with as many toppings or tea as you want. \nThe first time I went with my friend, I filled about a third of my cup with a bit of every topping and the rest with tea. I really like the jelly toppings and the pudding and I started craving it, so the next time I went, I bought a regular size cup for $5.50 and filled it with pudding and jelly and ate the whole thing for lunch. I also bought another cup and filled it with black pearls to take home for my siblings because they love pearls a lot. But I feel like the worker there thought I was trying to take advantage or cheat the system as she made many comments like ‘oh are you going to fill it up only with toppings... I see..’, ‘don’t be embarrassed, some people fill the bucket size with toppings so you’re not as bad’. But she gave me the side eye quite a few times.\n\nI just don’t really like the tea flavours from that place and would rather just eat their toppings and obviously the toppings cost only a fraction of the selling price so it’s not like they’re at a loss either. \nAITA for filling my cup with only toppings because I was craving the toppings? WIBTA if I did that again? ######","completion":" NTA your allowed to do it, otherwise they’d have a policy against it and stop you. If it happens again and by chance with the same person serving you have every right to take this to management as a paying customer being harassed for purchasing a product ######"}
{"prompt":"Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was \"too sleepy\". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation. \n\nDuring grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling. \n\nFast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh. \n\n2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it. \n\nWithout any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward \"hi, I think I'm your cousin\", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me. \n\nApparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it. \n\nI am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA your “family” that you only just met don’t have the rights to get mad at you for this. it’s YOUR relationship with YOUR dad. you didn’t even know he was alive, just wanted to double check. nothing wrong with that. in fairness i probably wouldn’t want contact with anyone who i thought was dead but then found out was alive ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96. \nWe live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members. \n\nHence, I dont have my own room in my own house.\nMy grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago. \n\nWhen the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.\n\nI am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom. \n\nSTILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA You’ve worked hard and took care for your family, it’s only fair if you have some time alone. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time ever writing in!\nBackground:\nI rent a room in a house shared by 4 people. We’re all college students and didn’t know each other prior to renting(we each pay rent to the landlord separately.) I’ve lived here for a little over 2 years now and have definitely become friends with my roommates. Last year, one of them decided to get a cat. We were all fine with it and the landlord didn’t care, so she adopted a sweet little guy from the humane society. \nI’ve never been a huge cat-person, but sometimes I’d feed\/play with him if she wanted to leave for a few days. We all have a friendly relationship, but I wouldn’t say we’re close. Also relevant, I love plants and have quite a collection of beautiful house plants. When she got the cat, I moved them all to my room and make sure to keep my doors closed because some of them are toxic to animals. \n\nOn to the story:\nA few days ago, I went to work-I’m a receptionist at a medical office and am the only one in my house that still physically has to go to work every day. When I came home, the entire house was in a state of panic. One of my other roommates had gone into my room to borrow a pair of scissors and accidentally left my door open. At some point, the cat walked into my room, chewed on my pothos and got really sick. He was taken to the vet and is currently recovering and is doing just fine. \n\nMy roommate now wants to charge me for the vet bill because my plants made her cat sick. Although yes, I did know that they were toxic to animals, I’ve had some of these plants for years and wasn’t going to get rid of them because she wanted to bring a cat into our home. I told her that it’s unreasonable to blame me for HER pet going into MY room. I took precautions by always closing my door. \n\nI told her that if she wanted to blame anyone, it should be our other roommate who left the door open. \nNow she’s mad at me for ‘getting her cat sick’ and my roommate is mad at me for blaming them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you’ve done exactly what you should to protect her cat, and your other roommate shouldn’t have gone in your room in the first place. If she wants help with the bills, that’s on the roommate who invaded your privacy. ######"}
{"prompt":"So here's the thing- I've been dating this girl for only a few months. I was going to get her a kayak for her birthday. Word got out that I was going to get her a kayak, so it kind of got ruined. She likes the idea of it though so that's still cool. I'm thinking about just switching it up and getting her something completely different now but I still want to get her a kayak regardless so we can go use them together.\n\nNow here's where it gets a little fucked up- my kayak is really nice and it's in good shape- but I always wanted one more designed for fishing- rod holders and whatnot. More storage. I was thinking about getting myself a new kayak and letting her use my old one - and have it not have anything to do with her Birthday- just get her something completely different and she STILL gets a kayak.\n\nI also added that we've only been together a short time because this is the first birthday we're going to be together for and I think maybe getting her something a little more personal or romantic than a kayak might be a better idea anyway.\n\nSo let's hear it.. how much of an asshole am I?? ######","completion":" NTA you’ve assessed correctly that hand-me-down boats are not good birthday gifts. They are very good “I want to go kayaking with you and I’d love for this to be your kayak” gifts. Keep it separate from the b-day, make sure you emphasize that this is about sharing your hobby with her and not getting rid of your old junk. You’ll be ok. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl. \n\nMy new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day. \n\nI have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels. \n\nSo because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one.  No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area. \n\nToday I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here. \n\nMe: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol. \n\nThis girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few  seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad. \n\nThings were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!\" And \" are you gay?\" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them. \n\n\nTo me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here. \n\nAITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ######","completion":" NTA You’re right, that is freakin stupid. Why would they care? They reacted like it’s the 1950s. It’s hardly scandalous. Next thing you know they’ll be expressing shock at women wearing pants. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside. \n\nLast night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort. \n\nWhen I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid. \n\nI grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read: \n\n“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”. \n\nThey ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox. \n\nAm I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash. \n\nFor clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######","completion":" NTA you’re nicer than me. I would have dumped it all over their yard. ######"}
{"prompt":"Picture it.... \nWith all of my extra time, I have become ( or so I think) a master landscaper- working nonstop on my yard. \nIts today, April 1. \nI causally look out my front window with my dog. Something has his attention, and I notice an old woman walking her dog, who’s not so casually sniffing around my yard. \nThis dog is going to shit on my pride and joy yard. The empty soul of a gambler in me, takes the money line that this dog is going to shit in my yard and I parlay it with she’s not going to pick it up +500.\n\nThe dog begins to circle. Here we fucking go!!! Game on. \nThe little Dude finishes up and the owner- no surprise, continues on with her walk. \nWith the limited social contact I’ve had, I’m excited for the opportunity to introduce myself to this old lady. \nI grab a bag, pick up the dogs mess, follow her down the street and give her back the mess she didn’t pick up. \nMe: Excuse me, hi. Yes\nYou left this on my yard. \nShe acted like she had no idea what had happened\n“Oh my, really? I can’t believe that. I don’t think it was me.”\nMe: I watched you let it happen, and then you walked away.  Here, you can have this back. ::hands bag of shit to old lady:: have a nice day!\n\nWhile walking back to my house, I felt like an asshole. Did I really just chase an old lady down to scold her for not picking up dog shit? Who am I? \nIt’s fucking gross that people don’t pick it up, it’s infuriating to me since I always pick up after my dog. \nAm I the asshole?\n\nTL:DR an old lady let her dog shit in my yard, I chased her down to give it back to her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you’re doing the lords work ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15M) live with my little sister (11F) and mother.\n\nMy mother and little sister argue A LOT. My little sister does show some problems with anger and will start yelling very easily.\n\nOne of the most recent very bad arguments was about her bed time. I was not present as it happened in my mom’s room, but I could most definitely hear both of them screaming at each other. \nAfter, my little sister told me she had been pinned against the bed. Though I didn’t see it, so I can’t confirm that, it is very possible that could have happened.\n\nI went into my mother’s room, and this conversation followed:\n\nMe: “Can I say something that you might not like? About arguing with [my littler sister]?”\n\nMother: “Yes”\n\nMe: “I think it would be better if you tried to keep your cool more. She’s never gonna learn to regulate emotions if her role model for that is yelling a lot too”\n\nMother (now annoyed): “Just get out, [my name]”\n\nShe was cold to me for the rest of the day and when I brought it up to my aunt I was also told I was an asshole for “disrespecting my own mother”.\nHowever, I really tried to do it respectfully and didn’t think I came off as rude.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA you’re absolutely right. That’s why she reacted that way to you ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc. \nSo anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you’re a goddamn adult. Get your own bank account and take control of your own money. ######"}
{"prompt":" so i've (17M) picked up casual gaming again, mostly just simulator games like animal crossing and the sims. recently i downloaded a mobile game called obey me! shall we date because i'd been seeing it a while from friends and i thought it looked pretty fun. it's an otome game where you are an exchange student to hell have the option to date demons. pretty fun.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\ni have family link on my phone, so my mom has to approve apps that i download. i sent a request for obey me! shall we date and she approved it. i assumed she read through the game content and didn't have a problem with it. **however**, this was not the case. the next day she asked to talk to me and essentially berated me for wanting to date demons, and expressed that she was disappointed in me playing a game related to occult things. i tried to explain that it was just a game, but she's of the opinion that i will become demon possessed if i continue to play it.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\npersonally, i don't think it's that big of a deal. this game is one of the most fun games i've played in a while. it’s not r-rated. in any case, why would she approve the app if she had a problem with it ? i feel like it's unfair to say i can have it and then suddenly change her mind. ######","completion":" NTA you’re 17 years old. Your parents need to loosen the reigns. A lot ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend is a physician assistant. She makes good money and she is satisfied with her job. She does feel regret about going into PA though. She hated school and chose to do PA since it had less schooling than medicine. So her heart wasn’t in it to begin with, which is her fault. It’s been a few years and she wants to find a new career. She told me a few days ago that she wants to open a boba\/shaved ice shop. Her parents run a convenience store and a small restaurant in our city so she’s already been interested in that. She helped her parents run the business while she was young so I do feel like she’ll excel. But I think she’s throwing away something good that she already has. She makes 90k at age 27. She doesn’t hate her job. We live a good life and I don’t want to make sacrifices for this. If she hated her job, I would agree and would even invest in it. But she herself has told me that she likes her job. She’s also really good at it. Her parents suggested that she can run the restaurant and offer new products while still working as a PA part time. But she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want to work under her parents. If she went with this route, I would also support her because her parents are established and have a clientele. I’m trying to compromise. I don’t want my life style to change and we were going to try for kids soon. Clearly we can’t anymore. \n\nEdit: also this means she’s going to quit her job and we will live on a one salary (mine) ######","completion":" NTA you’d be living off of just your income for who knows how long + it’s just a pretty risky move ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a trans woman who transitioned when I was a teenager and have been living as a woman for the last 10 or so year. My father had never been incredibly accepting but has long since accepted that this is happening.\n\nNow my step sister is getting married and both my father and brother are vowing to boycott the wedding if I am allowed to attend in a dress and other associated female formal attire. \n\nHowever, the bride and groom have no problem with me attending in male or female attire they just want me there. But the behavior of my family is putting me in a position where I have to choose between being there for my step sister and ruining the wedding. As it’ll be a cold day in hell before I insult myself by going to any event in a suit and tie ######","completion":" NTA you're not ruining the wedding by being yourself, your father and brother are by making it about their transphobia and not the bride and grooms special day ######"}
{"prompt":"So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.\n\nI recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.\n\nI don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days\/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.\n\nAm I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?\n\nSo in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ######","completion":" NTA You're not being unreasonable AT. ALL.\n\nThe fact that he's disrupting your sleep, he's basically living there, she's also given him his own key?\n\n4 nights a week is generous and she's not even considering it? She's TA.\n\nWhat exactly is her reason that it's better for him to come over than her go over? ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as \"very smart\" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.\n\nSo when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16. \n\nWhen I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with \"high functioning autism\" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact. \n\nThey said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are \"dumb and drooling everywhere\" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).\n\nMy mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.\n\nI'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.\n\nAITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######","completion":" NTA You're never an asshole for wanting to cut toxic people out of your life. They treated you horribly. and now they have to accept the consequences of their actions. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are vacationing at the beach. My father in law is obsessed with getting sticky buns from the local bakery every time we are here. The last few days he has taken my son with him to try to get the delicious treats but comes back empty handed because the lines were always really really long.\n\nToday he decides to go really early so he can get there when the bakery opens. He decides to wake up my son, and I stop him, saying it's only 6am and my son needs his sleep. My father in law gets angry, throws up his hands and storms out. \n\nJust my luck, he had already disturbed his sleep so as soon as he left my son wakes up.  I'm so annoyed.... AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA you're looking out for your son's best interests. And today is now your opportunity to ask him if he wants his grandpa to wake him up at 6am on future mornings to go to the bakery :) ######"}
{"prompt":"I (40 M) have a female friend (32) that I used to work with. We became very good friends and have ventured into possible FWB waters a few times. I didn't find out until afterwards, she was initially hired for her job by a dude based on him being a \"sugar daddy.\" Funny thing is he claims to be this big shot former hockey player - when I got curious, I searched him. Mr. Big time played one year of college hockey in the late 70s. \n\nWhen she worked for him, he refused to pay her an hourly wage, then said \"well I'm paying for her apartment.\" He would call her into his office randomly during the day just to paw at her and grab her. He's an alcoholic and would say \"yeah, let's go to lunch,\" then she'd text me at like 6:00 telling me they were supposed to go get lunch, and ended up at the bar all afternoon. Since he's the older rich guy, he tries to tell her who she's allowed to talk to. \n\nOh, and he's married. His wife is the VP of his company. She's also an alcoholic; he'll get her good and shitfaced early in the day so he can spend time with my friend. Then when his wife wakes up, he'll drop my friend off and go play hubby. \n\nShe text me maybe 30 minutes ago and tells me \"hey good news, he might be hiring me back.\" I responded and pointed out what an asshole he is, how he treated her, and how he didn't even pay her. Am I the asshole for looking out for a friend? Or should I just say \"ok\" and let her make that mistake again? ######","completion":" NTA You're her friend, first and foremost it sounds like, and advising a friend against being in a relationship where you're used like that is the kind of things friends do. That being said, you'll also ruin the friendship if you press too hard... so make sure she knows your opinion and that she has your support regardless. In the end, she's the one in charge of her life and the decisions she makes, even the bad ones. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I created a throwaway cause Ill be reveling some facts that would me easy to dox if I used my normal reddit account.\n\nIm a Civilian and I work for the US Army in Korea. Recently due to COVID19 I was put under what they call a Public Health Emergency which has placed restrictions on what Im allowed to do. One of those restrictions is Im not allowed to go to any bars. If I do so and get caught I get banned from all US Military bases which translates into me getting fired.\n\nIn addition to that the US Military has undercover military police patroling popular areas looking for violators and people are losing their careers over this. To add to this my job involves me working with the military police so Im confident if I broke the rules and someone saw me id be reported.\n\nMy girlfriend of 2 yrs is a Korean citizen and also she lives with me. The rules do not apply to her.\n\nShe went out drinking with her girlfriends. She got drunk and told me I needed to come pick her up from the bar. She was in a popular area and its very likely undercover police were watching the bar she was at. I didnt think it was a good idea to risk my career to get her. I told her to take a taxi.\n\nApparently im the asshole for refusing to pick her up. What do you think?\n\nO she wasnt stranded. She ended up getting a taxi home just fine. ######","completion":" NTA you're definitely not in the wrong here, why would you risk your job when she could easily get a taxi home. If she was completely stranded then I'd understand her annoyance but since she had alternative methods to get home you've done nothing wrong. Plus even if she had no alternative method to get home, it's still a dickmove from her to put you in a situation where you had to choose between your job and helping her out. It's not like you forced her to go out drinking so why should you face severe consequences for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for about 4 months now. This is our only real problem right now. \n\nThe small arguments we had, he refused to talk about it and 'solved' it by getting me flowers and chocolates, or another gift. The first time I thought he was maybe nervous, or wanted to keep the peace since this was our first argument. But it's happened several times. \n\nI told him it makes me uncomfortable, that instead of learning how to navigate problems together and communicate effectively it feels like he just wants to 'buy forgiveness' and move on. \n\nHe said something pretty offensive about my family last week, I explained why I didn't like what he said and asked if we could talk about it. He told me he didn't want to fight and hung up, and showed up the next day with a pretty expensive necklace. I told him it's a nice gesture, but I don't want a necklace, I want us to be able to talk about these things. He got frustrated and left, calling me ungrateful. \n\nThe next day he sent a bouquet of flowers. We're both getting frustrated at this point. But I don't think we can just keep doing this, we have an argument, he buys me something, we move on and never talk about it? That doesn't seem healthy. \n\nAITA for not just forgiving him? ######","completion":" NTA you're absolutely right. Instead of confronting the issue, he's trying to buy you off. It's not healthy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (21F) friend (20M), whom I’ve been friends with for 10 years, has been dating his girlfriend, let’s call her Julia, for a about 5 months. I don’t particularly like her and I’ve seen a few red flags. She treats him like a servant and constantly makes fun of him in front of his friends. Nevertheless he seems happy and I normally don’t meddle with people’s relationships. Their relationship, their rules.\n\nMy friend recently turned 20 and he decided to throw a garden party. We were all sitting at one table playing drinking games. The topic of sex came up. Julia and one her friends started to whisper to each other, but half of the table could still hear them. She made fun of her boyfriend because he was still a virgin when they got together and how she has to teach him everything in bed. Luckily my friend didn’t her her. He would have been crushed as this was always something he was very insecure about. \n\nI didn’t say anything at that point because I didn’t want to spoil the mood completely but after the party was over I took her aside. I told her that to take such issues up with her boyfriend and told her that this was extremely disrespectful and disgusting and a violation of his trust. She shrugged and walked off. I don’t know what she told my friend but on the next day I was blocked by him and he doesn’t answer his landline. \n\nAITA for saying something? ######","completion":" NTA you were respectful and pulled her aside. You were honest. She walked away without saying anything and immediately probably ran to your friend and spun a whole bs story turning you into a horrible person before you could talk to him and tell him what really happened. He cut you off without talking to you because she probably insisted he do it or she did it for him. Hopefully he will reach out and actually talk to you. Would be shitty of him to toss a 10 year friendship out over a toxic gf he’s only been with less than 6 months. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story is a couple years old but it's been on my mind lately. For reference, my boyfriend and I were about sixteen or seventeen when this happened if that's important.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo my bf and I were going to hang out at his place and I had called in an order of Chinese for us to pick up, I think it was like one sesame chicken and one veggie lo mein (not very much food.) As neither of us drove we were reliant on our folks for rides, and his mother had offered to drive him out to pick me up from my house and drive us back to theirs. He had asked her if it was alright if we stopped at the Chinese food place on the way back to pick up our order, and she said that was fine.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe picked me up and they waited in the car while I went in and got the food. She seemed fine when I got back in the car, but as we were driving back she made it a point to say to my bf that when his father orders food, he is always polite and orders enough for everyone, all while maintaining eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. I just sat there with a deer in headlights look and didn't really say anything, because what do you say when your boyfriend's mom insinuates you're being rude? We retreated as soon as we got to his place and ate alone, but his mother was weird towards me until I left.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI was talking to my sister about this recently and she told me that she could see where his mother was coming from, but I feel like since I was a kid who didn't have a job it wasn't really my responsibility to feed the house? Especially since like 7 people lived with him, so it wouldn't have just been feeding one or two extra people. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo Reddit, AITA for only buying enough food for myself and my boyfriend, and not food for his family? ######","completion":" NTA you were kids trying to have a dinner date...his Mom was the rude one. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the \"good\" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that \"someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper\" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff. \n\nHer calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass. \n\nAt that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person. \n\nNow I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?  \n\nAlso sorry for the long post. ######","completion":" NTA You were completely justified in defending you wife, and telling your mother what she can't teach your child. Your best bet is going to be going NC for a while, and she is she's willing to change after a timeout. If this is a lifelong issue, then there may be no helping her, but you'll probably feel guilty if you don't give her a chance.\n\nIf your wife ever needs to vent, send her over to r\/justnomil and have her post some stories. It's a very supportive community. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16m) mom is registered as a foster mom for emergencies. We've had many kids stay at our house for short periods of time. Usually it would be one kid at a time. However, last year, my mom was asked to temporarily let 3 kids stay with us. The mother of the 3 kids recently had a psychosis and the kids had no other family members living in the country. We were all a bit more emotionally connected to these kids, because they were the youngest we ever housed (6,7 and 10). Good news, after three months their mom recovered and they were allowed to go live with her again, but it only lasted shortly as their mom quickly relapsed again. Now my mom has just been asked if she wants to care for the children indefinetly, as their mom's current situation is not very promising.\n\nMy mom just asked me and my siblings about our opinion, but I was the only one who didn't want it. I told my mom my primary reason was because of the lack of space, and also because my parents are already quite old (my mom is 59 and my dad is 65) So I can't imagine that they'll be able to raise these young kids until they reach the age of 18.\n\nsome more info: I live in a 4 bedroom house with 3 other siblings and my parents. I have always had to share a room with my younger brother but my sister is leaving for college next year and I would finally have my own room. If the 3 kids come live with us, they will have to share one room, and my brother and I will have to share a room until I go to college. Especially now  it's very stressful being around so many people and I can't imagine always living like this. ######","completion":" NTA you were asked your opinion, and you gave it. It's a valid opinion to have, you live in the house and deserve to be heard. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband and I currently live in an apartment, but we’ve been looking to move into a house so that we can have kids, and they would get a yard and all that comes with a house. We’ve found a house that meets most of our criteria, but there is one problem. The house is ancient. It was built in the 1800s, and it still only had a wood furnace and wood stove. Meaning that we would have to cook on a wood stove. Our agreement is that I cook 4\/7 days a week, he cooks 2\/7 and we get takeout or eat out for one. But he’s pretty lazy about keeping up his side of that and I don’t really mind cooking so it’s more like I cook 5 or 6 days and we get takeout one.\n\nI’m not resentful of that, he has a much more intensive job and is tired at the end of the day, but it does mean I feel I should get more say when it comes to what we have to cook on.\n\nThe reason this house is good for us is it’s cheap for the area while not being too small. But if we move I want to upgrade the stove to gas or electric(probably electric as the house doesn’t have gas). He says it’s a waste of money and ruins the charm of the house. I do not want to deal with the hassle of cooking on a wood stove. I can put up with the furnace, although that’s annoying too, I have enough to worry about while cooking, I don’t want to try and keep the fire at the right heat to cook on.\n\nI said if we don’t replace the stove then I wouldn’t be cooking. He said it’s unfair and he’s just trying to save money. It’s not going to hurt us too much to replace the stove, we’re buying the house full cash, and will have enough leftover.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA you use it way more often so you're the one who has to deal with it, stoves don't cost much and if he really wants to save more then get a separate hob unit and use a slow cooker or similar to replace the need for an oven, works well for us. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently broke up with my gf because she was super abusive. Her sister is also abusive towards her fiancé and it comes from their abusive dad. A couple days after we broke up, the sisters fiancé texted me and asked what happened. I told him how abusive my ex was and I gave him examples of why. Less than a week later, his engagement was called off suddenly for unknown reasons. He then told me he realized that he was in the same shoes as me and didn’t notice that his relationship was toxic. He said he was happy and thanked me for opening his eyes. \n\nThe rest of the family found out and are blaming me for breaking apart the couple. I’ve been accused of ruining the sisters life. I told them it was the fiancés decision and I’m not responsible. They disagree and accused me of spreading lies to get back at my ex. I don’t feel bad at all but my friends tell me that I should have stayed out of it and that I’m an asshole. \n\nBTW both the sisters and the dad are in denial that they are abusive and manipulative. So they truly believe that I fucked everything up.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA you told the truth and he was lucky he realized before getting married he was in the same situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.\n\nWhile staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a \"makeover\" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.\n\nMy hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my \"new haircut\" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),\nAnd because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said \" Honestly, It could've been worse!\".\n\n\"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why\".\n\nBIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?\n\nSister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.\n\nDad: We didn't lie, we like it.\n\nBIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!\n\nI was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't \"want to apologize\" my sister told him to.\n\nHe put on his \"sorry face\" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.\nI pretended to be \"okay\" and before he walked out he turned around and said \"piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you\" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA you told him you didn’t appreciate him being rude and he continued to be rude. You’re not an asshole for that ######"}
{"prompt":"I honestly feel like I am living in the twilight zone so I really need input because I don't know if I am being a dense asshole or he is an asshole.\n\nSo we have a core friend group. It's me and my roommate (both 22f) and our guy friend Jon (23m). And due to the circumstances right now some changes have happened.\nSo our friend Jon lives in a one bedroom apartment and he is not good with not socializing for long periods of time.... Plus he has literally no family (mom died, dad left him for his new family). I have no family on this continent and my roommate has not a good relationship to her family... So we are like a family. Have known each other for 5 years.\n\nSo to the story there was a pipe burst in Jon's apartment so he called us to ask if he could stay with us. We said ofcourse. Roommate and I are staying in the living room together eitherway because sleeping alone during this time was fairing up our anxiety, which meant that we had a room free so he could sleep there.\n\nHe came over an hour later to stay with us. That same night I told my boyfriend of 5 months what happened. But to my surprise he got really really fucking upset with me because I didn't ask him or in his world.... \"you didn't Consult me\". Idk of its me beeing single for so long or what but I just don't get it. It was a last minute decision, we don't sleep in the same room and he is basically a roommate more. I am not attracted whatsoever to him neither he is to me. He is mad because he said that we should do this decisions together. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you told him literally the night it happened. You didn't hide it from him. What did he want, for you to ask him permission? You were helping the guy out in an emergency and it was a mutual decision between you and your roommate. You're not sharing a room. Your bf sounds a little controlling. ######"}
{"prompt":"i have an insane amount of respect for my grandma. she’s such a strong female presence in my life- when my moms been toxic to me, she’s always tell my mom off and protect me. \n\nshe’s the daughter of immigrants and i’m 90% sure she was born in mexico herself. she was left by her husband, my grandpa, when my mom was little when he left her for his secretary. she raised 3 kids on her own, and then raised 2 more (my cousins\/ her grandchildren) when her sons wife left too. \n\nthat being said, she’s old fashioned. \n\ni’ve wanted to be a soccer player since i was 4 years old, and since i’ve trained nonstop and have spent countless hours on a soccer field. whenever i’d mention this dream she’d always scoff but i thought maybe it was just a temporary feeling. \n\nrecently, after i got a huge achievement in my soccer career (a couple of sports websites wrote something about a winning goal i scored), i visited her house for winter break. \n\nshe told me i shouldn’t be who i want to, because i’m a girl and that’s a mans job. she then proceeded to offer some other advice- that i should work to support my family and such. \n\ni told her i want to work for myself, not for my future husband. she told me i was being irrational, so i told her she was being small minded and sexist. \n\nmy moms family immediately all started yelling at me for it, saying it wasn’t my place- tbh, everyone there sees her as a mother figure in some way. her two sons live at home- and there about to be 60. \n\nnow i feel really bad, because i accused her of something big over something not that massive. i understand, since she’s stuck in her ways and had to work a job for her family, maybe she thinks the same of me? after all, there’s no point in trying to move an immovable object. \n\nmy mom and her side says i was rude, but my dad and brother say i was right to speak up for myself. \n\nreddit, AITA? ######","completion":" Nta you spoke the truth. People need to be called out sometimes in order to change their old thinking ######"}
{"prompt":"Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.\n\nMy neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.\n\nOut of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends\/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.\n\nI haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you shouldn't have to do them a favor if you dont want to ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc. \nSo anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you should have made your own account 7 years ago. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry if this is rambling, I have no idea what to do  and its stressing me out. \n\nLong story short I did one of those DNA test to see what my genetic makeup was. However I got the results back today and it shows a parent\/child relationship with a man I have never heard of. I've never had a child so that leaves the parent connection. \n\nAccording my parents they dated for 3 months then accidentally ended up pregnant with me. They didn't love eachother and a baby wasn't a good enough reason to get married but they co-parented and fell in love over time. They got married when I was 4. I love both of my parents, they raised me in a house full of love and affection. All my friends tell me how cute my parents together, they simply love eachother and arent afraid to show affection. I've always joked that sometimes they act like teenagers in love. \n\nGiven the circumstances around my mom getting pregnant it's possible but I just don't want to think about that. I want the results to be wrong I wish I could take it back and never do this stupid test but I did and I can't change that. I'm in my late 20s\/early 30s and an only child. I don't see how telling anyone would do anything besides cause a world of hurt and confusion in an already stressful time. \n\nWIBTAH if I just never said anything to anyone? ######","completion":" NTA you sent the test off, it doesn't require you to tell anybody the results. You are right nothing will be gained by telling this news, he is still your father even if you don't share DNA. \n\nNow the tricky part may come if Dad ever takes the test and doesn't see a parent child connection to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My provincial government has released a 3.5 million dollar support fund for university students, and a 1.5 million dollar fund for indigenous students. \n\nI couldn’t care less. Having a separate fund for indigenous students (who make up a decent percentage of the university population) will likely result in more money for all of us. So it may work out better for literally every student? At least that’s what I believe. \n\nMy mom sent the news article to our family chat, accompanied with “they don’t work and get free school. OP, aren’t you mad about this? You work your butt off to pay for school”. I went up to her in person and said that I already applied for funding so I don’t care, and that it was a really harmful thing to say in front of my 14 year old brother that “natives don’t work”. \n\nShe started bitching at me about how lazy they are and I said that she was being a racist and it’s disgusting. She stomped to her room and slammed the door to call my father. I just received an angry text saying that was disrespectful to call my mother a racist and I have no idea what racism is. \n\nAITA for saying she’s racist?? ######","completion":" NTA you said the truth. Very good to counteract that display of racisme in front of your younger brother ######"}
{"prompt":"Beyond the city boundary there’s some mountainous woods, we’ve gone before once to collect stones &amp; found silver and even onyx. This time we just went on a little hike. We found some amazing things. A real honest to god truffle and some other interesting shrooms. Later on we found another mushroom, Amanita muscaria. The famous cartoonish red mushroom..as a biologist doing my Master’s, my Mycology classes have of course drilled it into me to never ingest even a piece of these things. Well as she was examining it I walked a few steps away to take a quick piss and when I turned around it was quickly apparent that she had torn off a section of the veil! and she was about to pop it in her mouth, I screamed from right behind her NO DONT EAT IT and she dropped both the piece and her phone which was in the other hand onto some rocks and it cracked the screen pretty bad. At first she was a bit irritated but then when I told her why i yelled that and she calmed down. Then she saw her phone and got mad at me all over again and the rest of the hike was frosty. This morning she got up and left for work without even talking to me. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta you said don't eat the mushroom, not drop your phone lol ######"}
{"prompt":"20M here. My brother (16) has been in online class since our state closed schools for the year. Usually, I didn’t really keep up with him on his school work despite the fact that I regularly get his grades sent to my email throughout the school year. \n\nAbout two weeks ago I noticed on his report then that he was missing 1 assignment in one class and his grade was a D. I didn’t reproach him about it or tell our parents then because he doesn’t listen to me and figured he’d be responsible enough to turn that grade around.\n\nFast forward to yesterday, his most recent report had him failing 2 classes and missing 4 assignments between the two of them. Without really pondering on it, I took a screenshot and sent it to both my mom and my stepdad (his biological father). My mom flipped out on him and my stepdad called him too to scold him. \n\nI didn’t say anything about it to him at all, but he’s not an idiot, he knows I sent it to them. He didn’t get angry at me for it (at least not to my face). As of now, neither my brother nor my stepdad are speaking to me, but my stepdad’s silence is probably attributed to a fight him and I had 3 days prior. I kind of feel bad for the reaction he got, but I don’t regret doing what I did. AITA?\n\nEDIT: When he first transferred to this school, the office needed an email to add their messaging list. I’m the only one of the four of us who has an email address that regularly checks it so I put mine down. For context, my parents are immigrants and English is not their first language. I usually handle communications between the school and us. ######","completion":" NTA you put your email down for that reason. You fwd it to your parents so they could handle it. Unless it's your job to stay on top of him and school it was for them to handle ######"}
{"prompt":"My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24\/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.\n\nFor context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.\n\nCurrently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24\/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######","completion":" NTA you pay rent - she doesn't. You deserve to sit on your own damn couch. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Throwaway of a throwaway because I forgot the password)\n\n A few months ago my brother took me furniture shopping. He needed new chairs and found nice ones but said he can't afford it. I offered him to lend him a bit money he said no first but accepted it seconds later. \n\nWe then go to the cashier (already signed the contract on everything under my name since I had a customer card) and I ask him how much he is short. He then said he has no money with him and never carries anything with him. So I had to pay everything since I signed the contract!!!\n\nI was really pissed that he tricked me..\n\nNow we got the notification that the chairs are ready to pick up. But I'm thinking I only will give him the contract and pick up slip when I get my money back from him. If sure he'll be very mad and throw a tantrum since he's always short on money. But I also have to get my money back!\n\nSo wibta? ######","completion":" NTA you paid for it so it is yours until you get the money you paid. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and her boyfriend recently broke up because she’s pregnant and keeping it and he wants her to get an abortion. Apparently she doesn’t want to stay in his house anymore or he kicked her out(not entirely clear which), because she’s asking to stay with me.\n\nWell I have a 2 bedroom apartment and my girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms, so there’s no bedroom for her to stay in. I told her she would have to sleep on the couch and she said that would be “unacceptable” like she was making a hotel reservation.\n\nI told her to fuck off and find another place to stay then and she got pissed and said she couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t sleep with my girlfriend for my own sister. That sentence is making me laugh now but I still told her to find somewhere else to go. My parents are now getting pissed at me because she has no where to go.\n\nAITA?\n\nEdit: she’s like 2 months pregnant, the sofa isn’t going to kill her ######","completion":" NTA you offered her a place to stay. Beggars can't be choosers. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f30) and my husband (m30) are currently looking to buy our first home. We struggled financially early in our relationship, but now (years later) we are finally secure enough to make our first big purchase.\n\nNow, why I may be TA. My mom is a very dependent person. She hasn’t worked in years and depends solely on her very small inheritance  to support herself. I say very small because it’s not enough for her to live on her own with— she lives with a friend. Now that my husband I have decided to buy a house, she has it in her head that she will be moving in with us. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but my husband and I are trying to start a family soon and we cannot support her, a house, and a baby.\n\nWould I be the asshole if I told her she can’t move in with us? ######","completion":" NTA you need to be clear with her and set boundaries. Prepaid for the guilt trip. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city. \n\nMy father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.  \n\nMy father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling. \n\nI don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them. \n\nSo WIBTA? \n\nTLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######","completion":" NTA you have to take care of youself first. His behaviour is just toxic. You are old enough to decide for yourself, it is not like you are a dumb teenager dating some 40ish predator ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account for privacy reasons. Also, english is not my first language so I want to apologize in advance for any mistakes.\n\nFor context, I’m 18F and he’s 20M. We have been together almost a year now, and from time to time we disagree on how frequent we should be having sex. This happens because he has a much higher libido than mine. He wants to do it every day if he can when I’m good with 1-2 times per week.\n\nThe issue was this morning. We were sleeping together in my bed, and he wakes up and starts to kiss me, like a shower of kisses! And I was really happy, because that is a nice way to wake up, feeling so so loved. It started taking a turn when he began taking of my shirt, groping me, etc. \n\nI started to feel a little uneasy, because I thought he was just kissing me to show me he loves me, but instead it was to turn me on so we could have sex. So politely, I said to him: “Hey, I haven’t even woken up, I don’t want that”. He told me to relax and lifted my shirt (i was laying on my stomach) and began kissing my back and reallyyyyyy rubbing himself against me. \n\nI tried to relax, because I know if I reacted badly it would really hurt him, so I played along. That was until he asked me if he could make love to me. I told him no, not harshly, just no.\n\nRight then, he laid besides me and looked really sad. At first he started pouting (literally), and after a couple times of Me asking him what was wrong, he told me that I never want it, and that it makes him feel bad because he feels like he’s doing something wrong when we do it and that he feels like he should apologize for even trying. \n\nI told him that that is not true and tried to make him feel better. It didn’t work, he just asked me to take him to the door (we don’t live together) and that was that.\n\nSo now I’m wondering if I should have just went along with it or what I could have done to make him feel better. WITA for rejecting him? ######","completion":" NTA you have the right to reject sex at any time. Sometimes you just don’t feel like it and that’s fine. He’s being childish to pout and then walk off because there’s no sex.\n\nTalk to him about it. It’s not like you guys don’t have sex at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20\/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account. \n\nWe confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number. \n\nLast week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA You have him fair warning, he could afford to pay his share. Crying to Mommy and Daddy about it takes the whole thing to even higher a-hole levels. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I definitely do not think I am an asshole, but my stepsister sure does. So some history: My mom married my stepdad when I was in my last year of high school. Step sis, let's call her, \"Penny\", attended a different school, and only visited on weekends. We didn't get to know each other that well, and just had a polite relationship.\n\nFor college, Penny lived full time with her mom, and I stayed with my mom and stepdad. I dated \"Phil\" during this time. Penny knew him somewhat, from when she would visit. Anyway, Phil and I ended up breaking up maybe a year before we graduated because he was cheating on me. I was super pissed at the time, but it's literally been almost 10 years so I'm over it. Penny didn't get to know about the cheating because I'm pretty private about these things, and didn't really advertise why we broke up.\n\nWell fast forward to last year, Penny and Phil started dating. Whatever, idc. This is where I was probably an asshole, because I thought about telling her about the cheating, but then I decided not to, because it was a college relationship, neither of us were very mature, and people can change. Well sadly, Phil cheated on Penny A LOT. She found out over lock down when she went through his phone. She asked me if he had ever cheated on me, and I was honest and told her yes, that's why we broke up. She got SO upset, and flipped out at me, saying she could've avoided a ton of heartbreak. I feel bad, but I don't think it was my place? So reddit, AITA for not giving my stepsister a heads up about this guy? ######","completion":" NTA You had no business in their relationship. Did she ask you for advice when they started seeing each other? I guess not. Did she directly ask you why you guys broke up? I guess not. ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby. \n\nMy baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, \"No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me.\" He hesitated, but then he said, \"I'll be out in time.\"\n\nHe went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.\n\nHe came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty. \n\nHe saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA you had a baby ON TOP OF YOU FINALLY SLEEPING. And you told him before he went in you weren't going to be able to get it. ######"}
{"prompt":"She says her $40k+ trust fund is for her future. Makes me feel like my income from work is not for us. The whole 'your money is ours, but mine is mine.' \n\nAnd I am steadily paying for more and more, without any help (aside from TrumpBucks, which are already gone) because her paycheck has been cut by more than 80%, as she teaches private lessons for various musical instruments, and demand is LOW. \n\nI could afford to cover all expenses\/bills, but not indefinitely, and she is doing nothing to generate extra income. I also foot a $300\/month weed habit for us, of which she smokes roughly 75% of, outside of current\/past bill contribution, which is roughly 50\/50. I also drink fairly heavily, and this habit is one I may have to curtail, as affording all this will get tricky quick-like.\n\nOn top of that, she is also getting pissed at me for doing less than half of the house chores, while she stays home all day, every day. What little work she is doing is done over Zoom\/Skype.\n\nAlso, last week she said she would take some money out of the trust to help out, but refused to do so today after she called me at work and started yelling at me about bills and chores. I sent her a a few hundred to cover the gaps and she is still acting like I do nothing of worth for \"us.\" \n\nCalled me a POS today because I forgot to take the garbage to the curb before I left for work this morning, which is one of the things I usually take care of, along with the kitty litter boxes.\n\nAlso of note, she has been threatening to move back in with her parents, as they \"actually care about her,\" which, given everything else, is also highly hurtful to hear.\n\nI realize there is a level of toxicity here, but I guess I want some validation that I'm not fucking crazy and that this is abusive, disrespectful, and entitled behavior. ######","completion":" NTA you gotta get her out of your life before she sucks you dry. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (38F) have a doctorate in Ancient History (so not a medical doctor), awarded in 2014. Whenever someone asks me for my title, as in 'is it Miss or Mrs _____,' I always say 'it's Dr,' because I worked hard on my PhD for 6 years and I earnt that title, so I'm going to use it. I'm never rude or pushy about it, I just always put it as my preferred title on forms and admin etc and introduce myself as Dr ____.\n\nMy wife and I got married in 2012, when I was still working on my PhD, and this problem has arisen in the past year or so. She told me recently that she finds it upsetting when I tell people that I'm a Dr, not a Mrs, because to her view, they're asking me if I'm married or not when they ask me for my title, and by answering Dr, I'm erasing her role in my life. She says it feels almost like I'm ashamed of being a Mrs. She says it also comes across as patronising to remind people that I have a PhD.\n\nThis seems ridiculous to me. I haven't told her this, but to me her objection seems rooted in insecurity that I don't feel is justified. I always introduce her as my wife. To my mind, that PhD took a hell of a lot of hard work, and although my career is not currently directly related to my doctorate, I still earnt it and the right to use that title. I'm also not a condescending dick about it, imo; I don't get angry if people call me Mrs, just politely say that my title is Dr.\n\nI told my wife that I was going to keep going by Dr and she's still bringing it up every few weeks. I'm not going to break on this; I suppose it's the hill I've chosen to die on. Am I TA for not caving? Part of me thinks it's not worth arguing about but the rest of me just wants to use the title I earnt. ######","completion":" NTA you get to decide what you’re called. Guys get to go by Mr. or Dr. and it still doesn’t reveal their marital status, so using Dr isn’t hiding her. I’d talk to her, though, to find out if something else is making her insecure. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now. \n\nMy mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.\n\nThe money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it. \n\nI have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019. \n\nIn February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.\n\nToday my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.\n\nAITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######","completion":" NTA you gave them plenty of warning, and your priority is your immediate family: your kids and partner. Not your parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"I should give a little backstory here: growing up, my parents were extremely wealthy. I watched my dad blow his money on a mansion, sports cars, and unnecessary purchases he made to show off his wealth. He owned a very successful and stable business, but decided to gamble it all away when he sold the company to start a new one that completely failed. We lost everything. \nWe moved out of the mansion and for the rest of my childhood and adolescence, we were so poor that we barely had money for food. I got made fun of in school for having old clothes that didn't fit me. My parents still would have cleaning people come over and clean our house and I would watch them pay them in cash as I sat there hungry. They did everything they could to keep up with their appearances while neglecting my needs. \nNow on to today, their financial situation has improved thankfully, and I make a significant amount of money: more than they are making. My dad keeps making comments about how he is so glad I'll be able to take care of them now financially as I don't  think they have anything setup for retirement. They keep making frivolous purchases and are still being irresponsible with their money. I have a lot of financial goals I want to achieve and I have not factored in paying for their living expenses in their old age. I am bitter that they blew all of their money and the money that they did have, they did not use to take care of me growing up. I have worked hard for my wealth and I do not feel as though they deserve a significant share of it. AITA for not planning to support them? ######","completion":" NTA You dont owe your parents anything. If you're feeling so bold you can even tell them straight up you dont owe them anything. Of course they'll probably call you names but really? It's their own fault they dont have enough savings and you dont need to bail them out ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?\n\nMy childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist. \n\nWe normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore. \n\nWe still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt. \n\nI eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”. \n\nThen I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable. \n\nShe cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######","completion":" NTA you don’t owe her therapy sessions, especially when you have your own problems. you did the right thing telling her to get a therapist, it’s not your fault you snapped. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mum has always been pretty dramatic, she is a severe alcoholic and I would have cut her out of my life completely already if it weren’t for me trying to stay in contact with my two step sisters (aged 9 &amp; 10) who still live with her. I (24f) don’t live with them.\n\nShe has caused a major string of events this year already which has taken a major strain on my mental health. My dad and other sister (30f) who refuse to speak with my mum keep reminding me how she’ll never change and she’ll only continue to make me feel worse about myself.\n\nI tried begging my mother to give up the alcohol for a while and hopefully rekindle our relationship, and I was really proud of her 26 day achievement.. but then she relapsed hardcore.\n\nThis time she was vulgar and rude, she degraded me in ways which I took really personally. She mentioned how I failed to do certain things in the past and perhaps I should try harder in the future..\n\nI stopped talking to her, I blocked and deleted her. \nFast forward- \nI had her children (my step-sisters) over on Saturday.. mum called off sisters phone.. mum was drunk again at 11am demanding to talk to me.\nI was reluctant but had no choice to talk to her, she was curious as to why I have blocked her.. she does not remember any of the drunkenly rude things she said to me and more importantly, she said “well I’m not gonna apologise for something I don’t remember saying” “you’re the one with issues, we’re family, I thought we were friends”\n \nI hung up and blocked her. I was upset with her response and felt it was unfair. \n\nI’m tired of having to ‘forgive and forget’.. I’m tired of the fact that she makes me feel like garbage about myself.\n\nbasically.. AITA for not giving my mum an explanation for why I no longer want to speak to her? ######","completion":" NTA you don’t owe anyone an apology for not associating with them when they treat you like shit. Your mother obviously doesn’t want help, or isn’t ready to get help and if you find it’s best for you to not be in contact with her, you’re better off not speaking to her. Hopefully your step sisters can get somewhere safe. The system is flawed, but don’t give up on your siblings. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (30m) and I (30f) are expecting our first child, a girl. I'm 30 weeks along, and we're very excited, as are our families. I've always gotten along with my Mother In Law, so this was pretty surprising.\n\nUnfortunately, his grandma passed away recently, and his family is understandably devastated. My MIL (Grandma's only daughter) asked us if we would consider naming the baby after Grandma. We haven't fully picked out a name yet, so ordinarily we'd consider it, but there's one big issue with the name: His grandma's first name was Hermione. In case anyone doesn't know, Hermione is a main character in the Harry Potter series and it's a pretty uncommon name, so anyone who met our daughter would assume she's named after that Hermione (who I have nothing against, I do like the books and movies). Harry Potter is so popular that I'm positive that she'd be teased for it. \n\nMIL called us again last night, asking about the name, and we said we didn't want to name her after Grandma. MIL asked why, and we said that since Harry Potter is so popular, she'd be teased about it and asked questions about it her whole life. MIL got upset, and was crying a little. She said \"we cared more about some books and movies than her dead mother\" and that we were \"dishonoring\" Grandma and proved that we didn't care about her or MIL. \n\nWe've since been getting texts from FIL and SIL saying that we were breaking MIL's heart and ruining Grandma's memory. I was talking with my sister about it, and she said we should at least consider it as a middle name and shouldn't have been so negative with MIL. \n\nI'm feeling guilty, since Grandma was a very kind person and I'd like to honor her memory somehow, and maybe we should have compromised somehow? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA You don’t have to name your daughter anything you don’t want to and to think that your in laws feel entitled enough to make your daughter for you is a major red flag. You need to make boundaries now before they take it too far ######"}
{"prompt":"So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA?\n\nEdit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life\n\nEdit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######","completion":" NTA you don't owe people forgiveness just because they ask for it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.\n\nI said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.\n\nMy brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA you don't need a lawyer to draw up a simple promissory note (online templates), but you do need a promissory note before lending 30k to anyone - especially someone who yells at you for daring to insist on documentation of the loan. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was at a party with my friends and everyone was either drunk or high. It was a good time, one thing led to another and a lot of us girls were topless. There is a male friend in our group who takes candid pictures of us everytime we hang out because he likes to capture the moment. And that's what he did when we were topless. I think I was the only one who noticed so I went up to him later in the night and asked him to delete them. He was not sober at all so he says he doesnt remember this conversation. Basically, I asked him to delete the photos and he straight up said no. I'm not a confrontational person so I let it go. He went to bed and while i was sitting with everyone else, I told them what had happened. They got absolutely enraged and grabbed his phone while he was asleep to delete the pictures off of it. The next day, the guy who took the pictures found out what had happened and messaged me and basically told me that I should have asked him directly instead of making a huge deal out of it. I told him that I did and he said he didnt remember and I should've waited till he was sober and asked him again before dragging his name through the mad. I feel absolutely horrible because maybe he's right and I made a big deal about it for no reason. In the moment, I just wanted the photos deleted because it was stressing me out and as a girl, something like that could ruin my life. Am I the asshole for not asking him a second time and going directly to my friends? ######","completion":" NTA you didn't overreact. you didn't consent to those photos being taken, even if you did you reserve the right to change your mind and request deletion. you did and was met with a no, so you took matters into your hands. your friend needs to get over it. if it was just as easy for you to ask him to get rid of it you would have. not your fault he can't remember being an asshole about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work\n\nSo they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids. \n\nWell the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.\n\nI’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######","completion":" NTA you did the smart thing. Pools are a huge liability.\n\nMake it known, that you are only paid to watch the mother and maybe they should invest in backyard cameras because if anything happens your responsibility begins and ends with a call to 911. \n\nThey are putting you in a sticky spot. Don't ever say yes to these kids. Tell their mother to manage the pool relationship directly with the homeowners ######"}
{"prompt":" My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.\n\n \n He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.\n\n\n I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I \"wasn't worth it\" then went into his bedroom. \n\n\n I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.\n\nAm I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ######","completion":" NTA you did right and justice is served ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: After moving in with my then gf, now wife, I started renting out my old house to college kids (it abuts campus). I live ~2 hours away, but have good friends and family nearby the house.\n\nLast fall, I got a call from one of my tenants that they turned on the heat and nothing happened. For most things, I'll take a weekend and drive over to fix an issue and see people. Heat though needs to be solved ASAP. I found a local HVAC company that could come out the next day (for a roll truck fee) and see what was up. I told them it was a rental, and they said they were used to that, and that no work would be done without my authorization.\n\nThe next day, I get a text from my renter that the guy came out, that the thermostat was wired wrong (previous renter had put on a Nest, and I didn't test heat when he moved out, just AC. My mistake), and that he fixed it. Cool. Sounds like 5minutes of work, so I guess it was included in the diagnostic.\n\nThen I get a credit card charge for $270. I call to see what's up, and the office thought the tech had called me and I authorized the work. Nope. I never would have paid $270 for fixing the wiring on a thermostat. I could have had a friend pop over for a 6-pack of beer.\n\nThe office puts me on with the tech, and he gives me two choices, pay the fee, or he's going back and unwiring the thermostat. I tell him, no. I didn't authorize the repair, the charge is ridiculous, and he's not allowed back in my house. (I can't trust him not to break things worse). After some back and forth, we come to an agreement. He'll refund the charge, but they'll never work for me again. Cool with me, as I don't want to work with extortionists.\n\nI call the office to close the loop and let them know what their tech did, and find out he's the owner of the company. Eesh.\n\nSo, AITA for not paying the fee or letting him back in to undo what he did? ######","completion":" NTA you did not authorize it and under no circumstances should simply changing wires on a thermostat be $270 that’s ridiculous. Do you guys have anyone you can report them to there? ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I are both engaged. My fiancé and I (21f and 24m) have been engaged a year and have been slowly planning, finally setting on a date in October.\n\nMy sister and her fiancé (24f and 26m) are planning on getting married in August. I think I had my date set first but it was pretty close time frame so we decided around the same time. \n\nWhile talking to my mom about what we decided my sister asked “Oh October of next year?” And I said no, October this year. She looked at me and was like “You can’t get married in October because I’m getting married in August. It’s too close together. I think there should be a year between our weddings.” I told her that’s silly and we can get married in the same year and expecting me to wait another year is silly. She told me since she’s older she should get married first, she should get the attention and I should wait. My mom said it does make sense that she’s older she should get her time first. \n\n\nI think that’s silly and so does my fiancé but our whole family pretty much agrees I should wait until next year so she can have her time. \n\n\nAITA for thinking it’s silly and not wanting to wait another year? \n\nInfo to add: my fiancé and I have been together since I was 19, live together and are independent so it’s not a matter of “You’re too young to get married” (at least I don’t think. That was never brought up. Just that she’s older so she should get to go first) ######","completion":" NTA you could have the wedding a week after there's it doesn't matter its your wedding.\n\nA wedding isn't just a day where you get all the attention you want, by the sounds of this that's all your sister and even mother seem to care about. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a 4 bedroom apartment with 3 other guys. I haven’t had any issues with any of them up until now when the roommate on my side started dating this girl and she basically moved. This doesn’t particularly bother me but her kid is living here now. He didn’t ask any of us if this was okay (obviously I would’ve said hell no regardless). Kids are, by nature, noisy. She’s like 6, so she’s gonna play and be a kid. However, I didn’t sign up to live with a kid. \n\nI was going to talk to him about it and let him know that it wasn’t cool that the kid lives here. But I think I’m just going to report it to the leasing office. He didn’t give us the decency of asking, so I figure why should I? \n\nFor God sakes, he doesn’t know any of us that well and they leave her to sleep in the living room (our common space) and all of her stuff is out there. I would be worried for my kids safety and be super uncomfortable with that - you never know what kind of people you’re around. \n\nAm I the asshole here if I report him? ######","completion":" NTA you could all get evicted if your landlord finds out. better to be ahead of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA\n\nTwo years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######","completion":" NTA you clearly aren’t the asshole. But next time take money upfront. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a really dumb problem but I need an outside opinion.\n\nOk so back with Pokemon sun and moon came out, my husband(29) and I (28) decided to surprise out kids(6m 8f) with switches. To make this clear, we bought 3 switch lites, 1 normal switch( we wanted 1 to connect to the tv for family games), 2 copies of sun, 2 copies of moon then a copy of mario party. As you can imagine, this cost us a pretty penny but for us it was worth it.\n\nAnyway, when we gave them to the kids, we told them the rules for them. This is their first systen that's solely theirs so we made sure they knew if they broke the rules or they werent taking care of them, we would take them and they would have to earn them back. One of the big rules is we dont take someone else's switch or games without permission, including mom and dads. Everyone has their own so theres no reason to. So far I've only had to take them a few times(they thought games were more important than homework and one got thrown once)\n\nThat leads us to a few days ago. I caught my son hiding my switch in his room so he could play online without permission(this is a rule for all the game systems). I confronted him about it and told him he was losing gaming privileges for 3 days and took his switch. I thought I was being fair but my friend messaged me asking if my son wanted to get on and play a game with her son. When I told her he was grounded from it but would have it back in a few days, she said I was being unreasonable and I couldnt expect a 6 year old to follow rules like that. I told her I was sorry she thinks that but I laid out the rules and he broke 2 of them, his age is not an excuse. We argued about it before I hung up.\n\nAITA here? I think in being reasonable but our mom group seems to think I'm being an ass about it. ######","completion":" NTA you certainly can expect a 6 year old to follow rules like that. She probably just wants him to be able to entertain her kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been together for 16 years and have always had multiple dogs. We currently have 4--2 Akitas, a Rottweiler and a Westie. About a year ago, her grandson was bitten by his dog (at his home) and ever since then my wife has become increasingly hostile to our dogs (No lasting damage to the boy). Now she has them barricaded in the back yard and a small section of the kitchen whenever she is home. She was the driving force in buying each of these dogs. She picked out every one of them. She named them. I love them all like crazy. I don't like seeing them treated differently. She says it is not because of her grandson being bitten by another dog--rather, they are just dogs and she is tired of fur\/sweeping\/cleaning. I told her the time to have figured that out is before you got 'em and now they are members of the family (And have been for 8 years, 7, 6 and 2...so not a new situation). She thinks I am picking the dogs over her. Hell, maybe I am. But, problems and all, they are total love. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you can’t just throw them away like they’re products these are living beings and they deserve to be treated well ######"}
{"prompt":"I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).\n\nLast week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.\n\nBeginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.\n\nThis morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because \"we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now\". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident. \n\nI came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA You can eventually change your name, but they will not change the fact that they deserve your mistrust. Keep saving and don't tell them, it might take longer than you wanted but you will get there. They can also go alone to ski, I doubt it's something you would enjoy being reminded, that they made you pay for it when you didn't want it. I can imagine how \"creative\" your parents feel choosing your name, but probably not as creative as Elon Musk, maybe you can start requesting people to address you by your chosen name as a nick name for the time being. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone,\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nnow I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me.\n\nI had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low.\n\nWhile following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it.  \nNow here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload.\n\nI feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do.\n\nI will probably decide by your answers what to do. ######","completion":" NTA you break it you pay for it ######"}
{"prompt":"\nHi\n\n​\n\nI just got asked on the train if I was willing to move or move my sons to the other side of the isle thereby going from travelling forward to backward in the train by a mother with a young girl, roughly age five, maybe six. The question was asked politely and the reason for it was travelling sickness. After I said no the daughter started crying and the mum said -\"I'm so sorry but a no is a no.\" and -\"I understand that you don't want to puke.\". She was able to switch later and her parting comment was -\"Some people are really nice.\".\n\n​\n\nI sympathies with both mother and daughter, both sons have been suffering from travelling sickness and I've been washing the cars plenty times when they were younger. My reason now for not changing is that I booked the tickets in April to get good and cheap seats since I really want to have a smooth ride. We're spending 12 hours on trains today and even though they don't get travel sick the same way they did when younger neither of us can sit and use screens when going the \"wrong\" way.\n\n​\n\nSo AITA since I choose to keep the good seats so that we have an easier trip despite the fact that getting really sick of course is worse? Basically saying that our boredom is more of an issue then her daughter puking. ######","completion":" NTA you booked seats that were best for your needs.  The other mother had the same options to book specific seats ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.\n\nI decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.\n\nAm I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######","completion":" NTA you asked her to be more direct. That's totally fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a white person (20F), although some people have called my country equivalent of the n-word before because i look somewhat racially ambiguous. \n\nNow i was playing games with my friend (22M) when he casually called me the n-word, not in the use of friend, but \"you fucking n-word\". I asked him to please not call ME that and he went quiet for a bit before he left the call. Then i found out he had wrote to a friend of ours, that was in the call, saying i was policing his speech. Some friends said i'm right and it was a small request to not be called something, and it shouldn't have mattered.\n\nSome friends said that I'm white and therefore shouldn't be uncomfortable with being called it.\n\nBtw for the record, i wasnt a dick about it or got angry the first time he said it, i calmy said \"please would you mind not calling me that\". ######","completion":" NTA you aren’t policing his speech you are just asking him not to call you something.\nI‘m trans yet I don’t call my friends trannys just cause I reclaimed the slur for myself ######"}
{"prompt":"First post here and I know the title is ridiculous but I’m being yelled at for it by my roommates.\n\nMost of the time we’ve all lived together, we have ordered out. We have had a few home cooked meals. And earlier tonight was one of those times. They made me do the dishes used to cook the food, which I was ok with.\n\nBut they tried making me do their dishes and our friends that were over dishes and tried to say they do that for me all the time which is not true bc I haven’t forgotten to wash them once.\n\nI know this is a silly thing but like I mtired of being ridiculed and yelled at for things that only my roommates do and they know it.\n\nAITA for not wanting to keep doing others dishes they purposely leave and try to make me do? ######","completion":" NTA you aren't their dishwasher lol ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (23f) sisters (22f, 20f, 18f) are all home from college right now. So there are a lot of girls in the house and a lot of periods. I mostly use cloth pads, but when I have to use a disposable (mainly if I'm traveling or out of the house for a whole day, I hate carrying used pads in my purse) I have to use an expensive natural brand (7th Generation) because I have sensitive skin. If I try to use Always or store brands... it's not good. My sisters keep taking my expensive pads. I've asked them nicely 1-3 times each to please not take my pads. They said okay, sorry and continued to take them. So today when I was at the dollar store for groceries I went ahead and picked up some of the cheapest pads. 10 for a buck. These are one of the few cheap brands I can use and they work just fine, they are just bulky so I would rather not. I went ahead and hid my pads in my room. I put the pads in a basket that said \"PADS FOR MOOCHERS\". When my middle sister saw it she got mad. She said the sign was insulting and the pads I got were \"horrific garbage\". My other sisters and mom agreed. They want me to put my pads back in the bathroom because I \"don't use them that much anyway\". I said sure if they chip in for the cost but they said no because their student jobs closed down when the colleges did. So for some reason I should have to pay for their pads even though my job is closed too. I do have some savings but my parents were able to keep working from home and would gladly give them a bit of spending money if they asked nicely. I think maybe I should have just put the pads out without a sign but was I really the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA you aren't even obligated to buy them shitty pads. They should be thanking you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place. \nWhen I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge. \nThis blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA you are working on your health and your partner should be more supportive. One shelf compared to the rest of the fridge is not asking too much especially if you now have a unique diet. Also fridge organization is important. Certain sections of the fridge can make food last or spoil depending on levels of humidity. A lot of fridge space is wasted due to being unorganized causing food lose. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve had my horse for a few months now.\n\nHe’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.\n\nThis girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?\n\nThey’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA You are under no obligation to let her ride your horse. You should not let someone you don't trust interact with your animals for the well being of your animals. And I suspect there is potential legal liability if she got hurt riding your horse, so it makes no sense to let her ride your horse no matter how you look at it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4\/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment. \n\n1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted \n2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system. \n\nBecause I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.\n\nNow I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######","completion":" NTA You are under no obligation to help them commit fraud. And if he’s under your care he’s your dependent not theirs. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom (55F) raised me by herself. \n\nI (25M) was always told that my dad (57M) never loved me and ran out on me, that he left us. Well it turns out that I have been lied to for a long time.\n\nFor the first time in over 20 years, my bio dad found me last year and contacted me. I was filled with rage but also curiosity so I met up with him and he explained his side of the story. He said that he wanted custody of me and that my mom had lied about why he left, that it was her who cheated on him and left him for a guy (this guy was in my life for the first few years but I only heard stories of him. Mom told me he was a good guy and they met through mutual friends).\n\nI didn't know what to make of it until I confronted my mom in rage and she admitted that it was true, my dad did try and get custody and that it was her who cheated on him. \n\nAnyway I was shown proof that this man is 100% my bio dad and we got closer... as I got closer to him over the year, it became apparent that my mom had outright lied about everything and filled my head with nonsense about him. \n\nAs I attended therapy this year I have finally been able to somewhat process this and have decided that I had enough of my mom and her pack of lies. When I met with her I said to her that I can't forgive her and that I want nothing to do with her. I said its over and she began crying and breaking down but I said it is what it is and got out. \n\nThen my aunt showed up at my door and called me asshile and how could I do this to my mother. But how could she do this to me? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA you are processing a lifetime. Stay in therapy and consider that someday you may want to have your mom back. For now, give yourself permission to do want you need for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.\n\nA high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.\n\nOne thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).\n\nOur friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children. \n\nMy mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.\n\nYes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######","completion":" NTA you are NOT selfish with money, that other one is a mooch and they will keep on mooching till you say no.\n\nI wholy support you saying no since she doesnt sound very respectful either ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, my bf has a friend or two over about once a week. When they come over, these guys will drink a full case of beer and eat so much (like what one of them eats for one meal would be three meals for me). I don’t mind them eating and drinking all this but me and my bf split groceries 50\/50. My bf’s friends never pay for anything - they don’t even bring over a 6pack when they hang out. I’m sick of buying a 24 case of beer for it to be gone in two days because of my bf’s friends and for buying a weeks worth of groceries only for half of it to disappear in one night.\n\nSo WIBTA if I tell my bf that he has to pay for the alcohol and food that him and his friends consume? ######","completion":" NTA You are never the asshole for having a conversation with a partner and telling them how you feel about a situation. I wouldn't start with \"I refuse to buy...\" but rather just open a dialog. Explain why it seems unfair and solicit his opinion on what he thinks would be a fair solution. Maybe you keep food 50-50 for yourselves and when *either of you* have guests you buy things specifically for sharing with guests. Maybe if you give things (food\/drinks) to guests, the person responsible for inviting the guests is responsible for replacing what is eaten. Maybe he pays 60% to your 40% to make up for the extra amount the guests are consuming. Maybe he starts asking his guests to contribute to bringing snacks and beer when they come over or having a potluck.  \n\n\nThere are lots of possible solutions, just start the dialog and be open and honest and collaborate with your partner on a solution. As it stands, you haven't even told him yet that the problem exists. Start there. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok from the title it seems like I \\[18M\\] wouldn't, but I'm still not sure. She \\[18F\\] has been hitting on me for a few days, giving me obvious hints that she wants to have sex with me. She has done something similar a few years ago and I told her that I wasn't interested because she doesn't attract me. Yes, yes I know, personality &gt; physical appearance, but at least I admit that I do care about appearance. She and some of my friends started calling me out, telling me that I should've at least gave her a chance. I actually lost one friendship because of that lmao, she was good with my friend. I don't like to hurt people. If I give her a chance now, she will get what she wants, she might get attached to me and I might not, which might hurt her even more. I recently got out of a relationship, I don't feel like getting in something else for now. I still miss ex a lot, but that's a story for another time. I don't enjoy talking to her. I am very insecure, and I don't like when some of my friends start talking about what I should have done and what I should have not done. That's why I'm asking you because I told some of them and they are telling me that I would be an idiot if I miss this opportunity and asshole because I will hurt her. So.. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA you are never a bad or mean person for not being attracted to someone and you don't owe anyone any romantic attention ever. You don't need to give her a chance. Just tell her nicely that you're not interested and if she persists after that consider if you want to be around her anymore or not. Don't feel bad for not being attracted to someone, just be nice and she'll just have to move on. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.\n\nRight away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.\n\nSo we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.\n\nMy brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time. \n\nWhen the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.\n\nHe says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included. \n\nThen he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.\n\n ######","completion":" NTA you are allowed to be close to whoever you want. So is your daughter. The kids will maybe develop a friendship over time but you can't force them. That will only create resentment amongst them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m at a loss here, and wondering if I’m being gaslit or if I’m a total asshole. \n\nMy sister is 16 and I’m 19. When my sister was 7 she begged for a dog, and my parents got her one. When he was no longer little and cute, she wanted nothing to do with him. \n\nI’m not even a dog person, but I stepped up to care for him. He became my best friend. I went through serious bouts of depression and he was there for me. Long story short, I took care of him entirely by myself, my sister was only there for the occasional play time and belly rub. \n\nWhen he got sick a few months ago, and I learned that he would have to be put down, I saved money to get some cremation jewelry made. I got a necklace and an anklet. \n\nI am having extremely difficult time dealing with his passing, I’m still raw about it.\n\nMy sister, who never cared about him, is walking around moping, and crying and being attention seeking. She’s posting all about it on social media, and everyone is falling over themselves to comfort her. She is demanding some of the cremation jewelry. I feel like she just wants to show it off online. \n\nI have told her no, and she went to our parents. They are saying that I have to give her the jewelry. They gave me a long speech guilting me about it. They said that he was technically her dog, she has a right to the jewelry and to remember him. I’m being called selfish for not giving her one of the pieces. \n\nMy family and I have been fighting about this. My parents point out my sisters crying, and “depressed behavior” to try to guilt me into giving her either the necklace or the anklet. I want both of them. I paid for them. I see my sister being sad and I can’t tell if I’m being gaslit or if I’m denying her closure by not giving her the jewelry. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA you are 19 and therefore an adult. You paid for this jewelry eith your own money and your sister had no right to it.\n\nYou're not denying her closure. She's just being a selfish teenager. \n\n If you wanted to be *really* nice you could offer her a collar or toy or something that you still have. ######"}
{"prompt":"My SIL has never liked me. She had always tried to one up me. We were both pregnant at the same time. Her due date was 6 days after mine but her girl came early so she gave birth roughly 2 weeks before me. We had already announced our name because MIL wanted to make a blanket with baby's name in it.\n\nSIL said their name was a secret. Well turns out they named their daughter the name we chose and announced. She thought she had won and I decided it wasn't worth arguing with her. I gave birth and we simply went ahead with our name choice. It's a generic name like Sara or Anna but it's was also my mum's name which is why we chose it. So technically SIL could have planned for this name all along but I doubt it.\n\nWell, she's not happy at all that the two cousins now share a name. I told her tough luck and why did she think we'd change our name? ######","completion":" Nta you announced your name and she could’ve brought up any quarrels before you both gave birth ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, before the virus. We were on a college study abroad, and this one girl (21) who ill call M, repeatedly grabbed my (19) butt. It took me raising my voice slightly after telling her to stop multiple times for her to actually stop.\n\nTowards the end of the trip, M told the group that our bus driver had grabbed *her* butt. She was saying how uncomfortable it made her, and tbh that bothered me. I of course understand why it would bother her. And im sorry it happened to her. It was wrong of the bus driver to do that, full stop. However, during this conversation I said \"now you know how I felt the other day,\" in reference to when she had done the same to me.\n\nShe was very angry i said that, and tried to say that it wasnt the same thing at all. But in my eyes, it was literally the exact some thing she did to me, after i asked her to stop until she could tell I was angry.\n\nSo, AITA for saying that? I feel like my point stands, but I can see how maybe that wasnt the time to say it. Thoughts? ######","completion":" NTA yeah just because the genders are reversed does not make it any different. The bus driver sexually assaulted her and she sexually assaulted you they are both AHs ######"}
{"prompt":"So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them \"I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like \"I have plans with friends,\" or \"I need to do my homework,\" but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied \"You shouldn't have.\", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######","completion":" NTA x100. Your parents are abusive and manipulative. Don't apologize for anything. ######"}
{"prompt":"yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion.\n\ni’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter?\n\ntoday when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”. \n\ni was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s).\n\nso reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######","completion":" NTA x100. It’s your body to do as you please. The fact that your father is so invested in your body hair is icky. ######"}
{"prompt":"My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA x a million\n\nYour friends are assholes, and boring ones at that. Anyone who desperately needs everyone present at a party to be drunk is throwing a really lame party.\n\nI don't drink either (I used to have a bit of a drinking problem myself but I've been sober for coming up 10 years!), and none of my friends even think about it anymore. I'm sorry about your dad, but good on you for breaking the cycle!\n\nThere are people out there who will respect your decision (and not ask you to jeopardise your health?!) and they will have far more fun social occasions for you to join. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work. \n\nMy mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call \"B\". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes.  well 5 hours later B came back.\n\nWhen I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said \"my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing\" \n\nMy usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like \"at least he isn't f\\*\\*\\*ing dead in a hospital\" and \"why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead\" and to top it off \"id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now\" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things. \n\nAMTA? ######","completion":" NTA Wow. Your grandma died TODAY and he thinks you should be over her death? ######"}
{"prompt":"Background on me: I'm a 16 year old trans guy. I'm on testosterone, the medication in this scenario.What's going on:I have a T shot every Sunday at 7. I was late because I wasn't paying attention to time, no big deal since I do it myself right? I go downstairs to get my stuff to do my shot and everything is there *except* for my actual testosterone vial. I ask about it, cause you know; it's medication. My mom tells me that if I want to take my shot I have to do chores that I normally do before bed. I got pissed and went to my bedroom because that shit isn't cool. My dad comes up a little later and asked me if I knew she meant I had to do my chores and not an essay that she also brought up. I said yeah and he called me unreasonable for saying I was just gonna be super late and or miss my shot this week.  \nEDIT: Yes, I know I should do chores, I'm not an idiot. The issue is the fact that it was never a requirement before and that has suddenly changed. Chores don't get done til right before bed because if I don't do them then or as soon as I wake up I forget to. My mom gets pissed if I forget to do them and it ends with me not being able to do things like get a job and such. ######","completion":" NTA withholding medication is child abuse. Tell your school nurse what’s going on if you want this investigated. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.\n\nSo I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless. \n\nI got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######","completion":" Nta wine is not a gift for just lovers, in fact 90% its the generic i dont know what to get this person and might not even know their name safe gift to bring ######"}
{"prompt":"My father who I haven’t seen since I was 3 recently died.  My sister who had been having some troubles moved in with him about a year ago after burning bridges with all of my mom’s family after she got pregnant and ran away from home.  She’s only 15.  I recently turned 18 and my dads family is looking to me to be involved in his estate and funeral. I don’t have any interest.  There may be some life insurance and they keep asking me about that to pay for his funeral and asking what I can pitch in even if there is no life insurance.  I don’t feel any real connection to this man. Hadn’t spoken to him for years before his death and he paid no child support while I was growing up. If there is life insurance I intend to split the money with my sister. I made it clear to my aunt, that life insurance or not, I’m not paying for the funeral.  His family think I have an obligation to and that I’m being a jerk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA why would you pay for his funeral? He played no part in your life. No deal. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nBeen debating posting this in case my girlfriend sees so I made a throw away.\n\nMy (26M) girlfriend (25F) has been complaining for absolutely ages about her phone, it’s an IPhone 5.\n\nSo for her birthday I upgraded her phone to the latest iPhone, it’s an expensive contract (£80 a month) I’d rather not have spent that much but she uses her phone a lot, we have two children (6F &amp; 4F) so she takes a ton of photos and the children are always on her phone, it’s just an overall improvement?\n\n\nShe was really excited about it, but a week later I found out she had posted it on FB marketplace and had sold it to someone (person hadn’t collected) \n\nSo now I’m left footing £80 a month for an iPhone 5.\n\nI told her to get a job, I’m not going to pay that off forever because I was only willing to pay it for a decent phone.\n\nShe’s upset because being a SAHM is a job and she would’ve never agreed to £80 a month phone so just because I did something stupid doesn’t mean she should have to pay for it, she didn’t need such a good phone.\n\nI’m at work so we haven’t really spoken about it, but she’s incredibly upset and has been adding up everything she does for me.\n\n(I do the ironing, garden work, DIY, walk the dog, cooking, bathe the children, work out our finances for the month and go to work from 5am-6pm, including travel time, so  50\/50?) \n\nAITA?\n\n**Also, before I get told  “you shouldn’t have had two children before marriage, we only have one together and I’m considering proposing soon** ######","completion":" NTA why sell the phone? You were going to pay the contract, her justification makes no sense. \nIf she didn’t want it you could have sent it back and cancelled the contract. She sounds awful. ######"}
{"prompt":"I watched my sisters kids yesterday so that she could go to what she called a 'hot tub party' I dont have kids of my own so im not 100% certain of what to do and she didn't leave me a list. She didnt answer any of my calls or texts and she payed me 5 dollars for 2pm to 11pm. I dont want to sound shallow because I'm fine with watching her kids for free but she said she'd pay me $30. The biggest problem is that i dont want to enable her. I think that if you have kids, that the part of your life where you have no cares and act like a college girl, should be over. And she does this all the time. At the same time, if shes going to do it, then someone needs to be there to watch the kids because it isnt their fault. ######","completion":" NTA why is she out while everyone is supposed to be self distancing? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my fiancé and I have a large wealth discrepancy. My grandparents gave me and my sister a large amount of money when they died, and I have a much higher paying job than him. He works just as hard as me, he just gets paid less.\n\nThe way our finances work right now is I pay most of our day to day expenses but he gets me nice birthday and Christmas presents. Last Christmas he got me a really beautiful necklace that he wouldn’t have been able to afford if I made him pay rent on the apartment. So he contributes just as much as he normally would if he paid rent, but this makes me feel better. The rent doesn’t suddenly cost more because he lives here, I was paying it by myself anyway.\n\nMy parents pestered me and pestered me to explain to them how he was paying half the rent on our apartment with his job, because he shouldn’t get paid enough to afford it while also buying everything else he does. I finally told them a few months ago that he doesn’t pay the rent. They basically had a meltdown over it and told me to break up with him, don’t go through with the wedding, etc.\n\nI called them over Mother’s Day, and they spent the whole time asking if I have started making my fiancé pay rent. I finally got sick of it and told them no, to butt out and if they kept pestering me about our personal finances that they couldn’t come to the wedding. They had another meltdown and said that I was horrible for even bringing up the possibility that I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding.\n\nWas that threat too far? My mom called me crying today apologizing and basically groveling to come and now I feel like shit. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA why do they think it’s okay for them to say horrible things like you should break up with him but it’s not okay for you to tell them they won’t be invited to a wedding they clearly disapprove of? I wouldn’t want someone who clearly isn’t happy for me to be at my wedding either. If you’re happy in that arrangement, they have absolutely NOTHING to say. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the last year my (26f)  roommate (26m)  has been leaving poop on the seat whenever he goes to the bathroom. Me and my wife have had several discussions asking him to please clean it and countless \"I'll make sure to double check\" in response. Usually I'm the one that cleans it up and I politely ask him to please be more mindful.\n\nHere's where I might be the asshole. Today I went into the bathroom and saw poop smeared everywhere. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to clean and I got pretty mad. So after I cleaned it I yelled at him and said \"seriously you have to be the most inconsiderate dickhole in the entire world. I'm so sick of cleaning up your disgusting messes. There's no way you're doing this by accident anymore.\" \n\nI thought I was in the right but he started crying and told my wife that I'm making it up and trying to ruin their friendship. He said he's at the end of his rope and I'm a horrible person. I feel really guilty now. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA why are you cleaning his shit up? How is he getting shit everywhere? So many questions ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak. \n\nAbout 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.\n\nWe finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA who invites themselves into the bridal party two months before the wedding? ######"}
{"prompt":"Background\n\nI'm 13 f and i have JIA (arthritis for kids)\n\nThis happened when I was 11 and has been bugging me ever since\n\nThe actual event\n\nMy \"best friend\" had been singling me out after my diagnosis. She had stopped inviting me to her house and when my friend group went out she would \"forget\" to tell me. One day I faceTimed her and told her that she needed to stop with this. She told me that she was just playing. I was so mad as this was all intentional. I lost all my friends because of this. I had cried every night because of this. At that point I snapped and told her to \"fuck off and get out of my life\" I didn't talk to her for a month. We have since made amends but she still tells me that I was an asshole.\n\nSo Reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA While what you said was not worded nicely, she'd been treating you badly for a while. Although given that you are all so young,, I'd say she's obnoxious and immature more than being an asshole. At her age, she may not really be able to fully understand her own actions and how awful they were. Especially since kids mature at different rates. So, I hope she becomes a better person as she grows up. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse.\nFast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA While it might not be the direct cause of you failing the test I would expect your brother to show at least a modicum of respect for other members of the household. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of info - My children see my mother in law a handful of times a year. She lives in a village an hour or 2 bus ride away depending which on route you take. She doesnt come to ours even though she has a lodger who drives her other places and tbh shes a little flaky when we make plans so we just go to hers when we are able to.\n\nI call and facetime her atleast once a week so the kids can keep a good relationship with her but as you can probably tell already it's very much one sided but I do it because my kids have a great relationship with my side and I want the same with them and her.\n\nThe issue - mother in law called yesterday and asked if we had plans to go round when lockdown is over as she has something for the kids. I told her as soon as we can we will be over when its allowed. She asked to speak to the kids and told them the surprise. She had gotten a dog!\n\n2\/3 were excited the middle one just burst into tears.  The middle one is severely allergic to animals with fur. I'm talking 2\/3 x meds a day, and has to carry an epi pen where ever she goes allergic.\n\nMother in law knows this and just shrugs and says oh well I guess the other 2 will just have to come and she stays at home.\n\nI told my husband that I'm sorry but none of the children will be going as it's not fair on middle, they will be be bringing fur into the house when they return and that I think his mother did it on purpose as the other 2 always says about how they would love a dog but cant because of middle  whenever she asks why we dont have a dog like other families.\n\nHusband thinks ITA because I'm stopping her seeing all kids over one thing but to me it's a big thing as it's dangerous to middle and she knew that.\n\nSo WIBTA if I stopped visits? ######","completion":" NTA when your child could fucking die from exposure to animal hair. That is beyond ridiculous that your husband is not supporting you on this. He needs to talk to an allergy specialist so that it can be hammered into his stupid head that allergies that require an epipen can, out of nowhere, become very serious very quickly. There are the big reactions and then there are silent reactions both can lead to death. Your other children need to be educated properly on this also so that they can be vigilant for the signs of anaphylaxis (but not in a scary way). As for your MIL fuck her for putting your child at risk, creating division in your family and gifting an animal because what kind of inconsiderate asshole does that? ######"}
{"prompt":"So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.\n\nI emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.\n\nNow fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund. \n\nMy brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund. \n\nWIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ######","completion":" NTA when PayPal sends you an email you respond. Businesses have a period to respond and if they didn't then it's on them ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically my sister (14F) and I (20F) wanted a Nintendo Switch, but it costs a lot of money to get one so we decided to split the cost. Overall the switch + games + accessories cost about $420 (ayyy) and as I have a job and I’m older, I agreed to paying for most of it ($300).\n\nWe gave ourselves about 3 months to save up money, but by the end of it, my sister didn’t have enough for her $120 share (she was always spending money and hanging out with her friends.) \n\nBut I still wanted a Switch so I said I would cover her as long as she paid me back via artwork and drawings. She’s a great artist and she does do commissions, so we agreed that I would pay for her and in exchange, she would create 3-4 drawings for me. \n\nSo we bought the switch back in January and we both use it. Anyhow, I asked her to draw me a portrait of my friend for her birthday, nothing too strenuous, asked her 3 weeks in advance and gave her all the info she needed. She never delivered and i was angry, but I just bought my friend another present last minute so I wasn’t too upset.\n\nAnyhow fast forward to February and she did the same thing. Then more recently, I asked if she could draw a character I liked from a TV show and she just straight up told me that she didn’t want to, that she never wanted to, that she didn’t know why I kept asking her to draw shit and that I was not entitled to her drawings. \n\nI reminded her that her drawing for me was literally apart of the deal we had on the Nintendo switch but she said it’s been months since we got it so we should just drop it. \n\nSo I did just that and now I’m refusing to let her play the switch, of course she’s angry but I said it was technically my Switch now since I paid for it 100%. I brought it up to my mom and she said I need to be the bigger person here (figuratively and literally) and share it with my sister. AITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA when I was 14 and wanted a PS3, I had to have my pocket and birthday money for it. 14 is old enough to learn about saving money for bigger things you want. You made a very good deal for her with her paintings and she didn't follow up. She has to learn, that she is not entiteld to stuff she didn't do shit for. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father (52M) has been divorced from my mother for 11 years now. Ever since then he has been in a countless number of meaningless relationships that never go anywhere despite him thinking they will.\n\nMy father has a type. He likes younger women. His last 3 girlfriends were all under 30 and his most recent ex girlfriend was 25 years old (just a year older then me). My father loves to complain about how he doesn't understand what he is doing wrong. One of the things might be the huge age gap. Obviously with girlfriends pretty much half his age priorities are usually very different and most of his relationships end because of this.\n\nEver since the divorce he's been in a endless cycle of falling in love with a woman much younger then him and then breaking up wich always leaves him very depressed until he finds another young girlfriend.\n\nYesterday, me and my brother's were over at his house and he was going over one of his rants about how he doesn't know what he is doing wrong and he thinks he's just very unlucky. I suggested to him that he may want to find a girlfriend closer to his age so they can be at the same stage in life and their priorities and goals can be  more similar. This got him very uncomfortable and for the rest of the night he didn't say another word. I think I said what was best for him to hear. AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA when he always says \"whAt aM i doInG wRonG\" then you can give a response ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys. \n\nMy SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time. \n\nI’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood. \n\nShe never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon. \n\nMy mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing. \n\nSIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that. \n\nI’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA what's \" proper etiquette\" is to say thank you for the things your given big, small, one or two not go on and on that what you gave isn't enough. r\/choosingbeggars ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year me (34m) and my wife (31f) visited her family in South Africa, as we live in the UK but try and her family visit annually. This time I took hundreds of photos with my new camera as where her family lives is beautiful, but i only had one micro sd card with me as my old camera took the bigger sd cards. So after a few days i needed another micro sd card, her mother give me a handful of micro sd cards that have been rattling in her kitchen draw for ages. \n\nThis years trip to see her family is cancelled due to Covid Virus, i thought it would be nice to go through all the photos from last years visit and put her family ones on are digital photo frame. One sd cards her mother had give me was full (24GB) of nude\/sexual photos of my wife's mother with a few different men. \n\nI wasn't sure what to do, i didn't tell my wife as i didn't think she would want to know\/see her mother is that way. I messaged her mother to ask her if i should wipe the SD card or send it back to her. Her mother wanted the SD card back so popped it in the mail back to her mother.\n\nYesterday my wife found out from her mother's friend (how or why i don't know)and went nuts with me. My wife says i should have told her or just deleted them and said nothing. My defense is what if the photos although they were sexual met a lot to her mother or what if her mother was worried the photos might fall into the wrong hands. \n\nAITA for not deleting the mother inlaw's nudes and not telling my wife i sent them back to her mother ? ######","completion":" NTA What you did was respectful. If your wife would have been okay with not being told if you had deleted them, what is the difference with her not being told and you sending them back to her mother? Either way, you got rid of them and kept them secure. But her mother's friend seems likely to be an asshole, as I am having trouble thinking of a non-asshole way this was brought up with your wife. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line. \n\nDue to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall. \n\nA couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all.  After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ######","completion":" NTA What the hell, your mom isn’t feeding her or getting her meds *and* is offended she’s no longer the sole beneficiary? Entitled much?\n\nYou’re fine. Carry on. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.\n\nWhile staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a \"makeover\" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.\n\nMy hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my \"new haircut\" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),\nAnd because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said \" Honestly, It could've been worse!\".\n\n\"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why\".\n\nBIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?\n\nSister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.\n\nDad: We didn't lie, we like it.\n\nBIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!\n\nI was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't \"want to apologize\" my sister told him to.\n\nHe put on his \"sorry face\" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.\nI pretended to be \"okay\" and before he walked out he turned around and said \"piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you\" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA what kind of person does that?!? Especially a 37 yr old man taking to a 17 yr old! I’m sure you look amazing. And if you’re happy with your haircut, that’s all that matters! I chopped all my hair off in high school once, too. Objectively I looked better with longer hair, but man I loved the ease and convenience and it was fun and funky. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. \"Damn, I don't want to get up.\" So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and \"isn't a mind reader\" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.\n\nAm I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######","completion":" NTA what kind of parent needs to be told to feed and change the babies diaper when baby is crying? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest. \n\nI love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.\n\nTonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4. \n\nI keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.\n\nAITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######","completion":" NTA what does your partner actually bring to the table? It sounds like he is a useless parent and inconsiderate partner. This is not how parenthood is supposed to work. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (20F) am currently living with my boyfriend (21M). We’ve been together 7 months. He’s still working and I’ve been laid off so I’m at home all day.\n\nI have been wanting short hair for a while, but I’ve been too nervous to. But with everything closed, I figured now is a good time. I’ve been debating back in forth but today I said screw it, I grabbed a pair of scissors and went into the bathroom before I could change my mind and gave myself a fairly “butch” cut. I’ve cut my own hair before - it’s not great but it’s not the worst homemade haircut.\n\nI wasn’t expecting my boyfriend to be thrilled as it’s a big change. I didn’t call him ahead because I wanted to see his reaction. However, when he got home he absolutely flipped out. He asked what happened and I explained it to him. Started screaming at me for doing it without his permission, called me a selfish bitch, and said he didn’t think he wanted to be in a relationship with me anymore and left. I’d never seen him so angry.\n\nI’m wondering if I was in the wrong here. I think he’s overreacting. It’s not a tattoo or anything, it isn’t permanent. He could have just said he didn’t like it and I could (consider) growing it back. Maybe I should have told him, but I know he isn’t a fan of the idea and I didn’t want to be dissuaded as I’ve been wanting to *try* short hair for a while. I think I should be able to at least experiment with my appearance.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA what a psycho. ######"}
{"prompt":"[Slyvy Bear](https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/69228620@N03\/49777975553\/in\/dateposted-public\/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.\n\nShe's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.\n\nMy husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.\n\nHubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA we keep dead relatives ashes why not our pets?? I wish I had my old dogs ashes (but it was waaaay too expensive then). You get your kitty cremated and if you want to be extra petty and creepy they make tiny urns for necklaces and bracelets. He thinks it weird to have her in the house wait until you wear her. I’m very sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet in indescribably heartbreaking. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.\n\nMy mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.\n\nI usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.\n\nI’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.\n\nAmber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.\n\nI can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.\n\nMy mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA wanting peace and quiet is normal and not wanting to be around your stepsister that is toxic, manipulative, brat is normal. They are making the choice not you to let her stay. Luckily for you have an option to live elsewhere. Take it and run. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) am a night owl with ADHD. Everything I have succeeded at doing in life (my degree, working nightshifts, making a profit from my business) has been done when my body functions at it's best (at night). My mother (59f) and my sister (35F) have made it their new obsession to ensure I wake up at the same time as they do and will wake me up if I do not. I don't usually live at home, I live abroad but because of the unusual circumstances - I am at home. They regard my body clock as a character flaw and won't stop giving me unwanted advice that they've found on youtube on how I can change it. AITA ######","completion":" NTA wake up tell them to screw off and go back to bed. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16F) am on my period, I get really horrible cramps and back pain when i’m on my period and medicine to relieve the pain doesn’t always help very much. So I like using a heating pad or something to help with the pain. Yesterday my cramps were very bad so I decided to take a hot bath because I only have one heating pad and it’s not big enough to heat my front and back at the same time. I was also having a lot of overall body cramps and thought a hot bath could help with that too. \n\nA few months ago I got toxic shock syndrome from my tampon and had to be rushed to the hospital. It was pretty bad but luckily I ended up being completely fine.  But since then I’ve only been using pads, having tss was super painful and very scary, so I guess that experience has made a little bit weary of using tampons because I do not want to risk getting it again. \n\nAnyways I took a bath to relive my achiness and cramps, didn’t have a tampon in so a little bit of blood would occasionally leak out into the water. Now my period is pretty light so it wasn’t a lot of blood just a little bit. \n\nAfter my bath I rinsed our the run like I always do, and there was nothing left in it. My mom asked how if i had used a tampon for my bath (she was worried because she doesn’t want me to risk getting tss again) I said no. Then she got really grossed out and said it’s not ok to do that and the tub is gonna have blood all inside it now and that’s gross and I shouldn’t have done that. \n\nLike I said I always rinse the tub out after I use it, and I told her I would be willing to use soap and actually clean the tub out if she wanted me too. She just got kinda upset and grossed out by it all. \n\nSo AITA for that? should I just not have taken a bath? ######","completion":" NTA wait until your mom finds out your asshole was sitting in that water too. She’s going to freak! \n\nSorry your mom is crazy. ######"}
{"prompt":"As you may have guessed, I’m a vegetarian. My parents always include vegetarian options for me when they have me over for dinner.\n\nI’m having my parents over for dinner once quarantine is lifted and I told them I’d be making vegetable lasagna as the main course.\n\nMy dad wanted to have meat lasagna, but I told him I will never cook meat in my house. I never complain when my family eats it, but I don’t want to make it myself.\n\nMy dad said they’ve (my parents) have always catered to my vegetarianism and I’m selfish for not offering a meat option. I explained I wasn’t comfortable but he insists that I need to “grow up” and stop forcing my diet on others.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA vegetarian food is suitable for meat-eaters; the reverse is not true. I'm sure he's eaten loads of vegetarian meals in the past and he can bring his own meat dish if he wants. He could bring ground pork to put on top of his lasagna. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it. \nI seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######","completion":" NTA unless you don't communicate now. Just be honest. You were put in a bad situation. Don't lend money to friends.\n\nIf I do, I either give it as a gift or exchange for some work like dog sitting. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (preteen age) loves this TV show (I’m going to be vague for anonymity) and I applied on a whim. We got invited on the show and did some fun competitions for an episode. We didn’t win but my daughter still talks about it all the time.\n\nMy daughters father is not very involved. He shows up with ridiculous presents every once in a while but we don’t hear from him unless I encourage my daughter to call him. If it weren’t for his child support check showing up once a month, I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive. He and I don’t talk. \n\nI didn’t tell him about the show. The way I see it is that I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter and I don’t need his permission for anything. However, he found out about the show from his father (my daughter told him) and called me yelling at me for taking her on the show and not asking for his consent. He accused me of exploiting her for fame and misusing his child support. I ended up hanging up on him because he wouldn’t stop yelling. Am I the asshole for taking her on the show without telling or asking him? ######","completion":" NTA unless this show is exploitative somehow, it's hard to say without knowing what it is but assuming it's not trashy reality then it's probably fine. If he wants to make these decisions about his daughter then he should be in her life. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).\n\nI'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA Unless the photo would be called a “Picture of him” and not a picture of you and your friends ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M16) really don't like kids and they usually don't like me. I don't have any experience with them and I think in general it's better if I'm just not around them. I always make this clear.\n\nMy sister (F24) has two kids (F4 and M6). Yesterday she wanted to go do some activity with her friends so she stopped by my house (I was home alone) and asked if she could leave them. I said absolutely not because I had homework and didn't want to spend my afternoon taking care of two little kids. After some arguing back and forth she said that she was just leaving them, and I said I would in no way watch them besides making sure they didn't die.\n\nShe eventually just drove off because she was going to be late and left them there with me. I kept my promise and I did nothing with them. I just did what I wanted to while I watched them.\n\nAll I did was play video games and listen to some music (100 gecs) that happened to be fairly explicit. I thought that was that and eventually my sister came and got her kids.\n\nHowever today I got an angry call from my sister. Apparently the kids have been repeating some of the explicit lines from the music I was listening to. My sister was pissed off and asked for an apology but I refused. She then talked to my parents and they've grounded me and told me I was an asshole to let kids listen to that kind of music. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Unless she was having an emergency, she should not have left them with you after you specifically told her you would not do anything but the bare minimum with them. (But hey at least they didn’t break an expensive clock so good job there!) You may be grounded for now but I doubt you’ll ever be asked to babysit again, so that’s a plus. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me.\n\nA part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating a pattern of running and walking as prompted by audio cues from the app. Last week was 60 seconds of walking with 15 seconds of running.\n\nSomeone who was sharing the outside space with me seemed to think I could do better, and that I wanted his instruction\/encouragement to get 'better'. He matched my pace and was telling me to \"keep going\" and \"you can run longer than that\".\n\nI told him \"thanks, but I'm doing c25k\". Then the next time, \"I'm doing intervals.\" After the third time I snapped and went \"piss off and leave me alone already\".\n\nApparently that made me an \"ungrateful bitch\" (which he yelled at me again today), but he at least fucked off. AITA for phrasing it the way I did? ######","completion":" NTA ungrateful bitches unite! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26f) and my fiancé (27m) moved out of my father's house. Now to get context. \n\nMy father was not really a father to me growing up. He would mentally abuse me and sometimes verbally. We even got into fist fights.\n\nMy fiancé moved and my father tried playing \"I'm a good guy\". A week later, when the lockdown starte, he started showing his true colours. When my fiancé nor my dad could work, I begged for food parcels and so did my fiancé. My father refused to beg. \n\nThen my fiancé found another job and began our search for a different place to stay. In the meantime, my father was also getting money in from asking friends and family but that money never went into the house. No food bought etc. My fiancé spent most of his money making sure we atleast have enough to eat till the next food parcel. My father was enjoying his chips and sweets. \n\nWe found a place and moved out immediately. I had also went and changed the address for the food parcels. My stepmom asked me if the food parcel is going to go to them and I said that dad needs to apply for the food parcel. They aren't happy with it.\n\nAITA for changing the address to the food parcels? ######","completion":" NTA too proud to beg himself but more than happy to use others to accomplish the same goals.  The parcels are for those who signed up. He didn't sign up.  He had a chance to but didn't because others were doing it for him ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling. \n\nI’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts. \n\nIt’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading. \n\nNot only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example \n\nIf I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day! \n\nIt’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because \n\nA. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and\nB. It may just actually be a coincidence \n\nSo to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me \n\nI wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said \n\n“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”\n\nWhen he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating. \n\nI told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA? \n\nTLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######","completion":" NTA to quote rihanna, he's only sorry he got caught (violating your privacy after you tried to set boundaries and express your needs multiple times). write in it that you're thinking of breaking up with him because of the disrespect and let him read that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my girlfriend at the moment but we’re hoping to move to a bigger apartment in the next couple of months. \nOur rent is quite low and very affordable for me at the moment so it’s spilt 50:50 and I have no problems with that. \nHowever, the places we’re looking at are a bit more expensive. She earns about double what I do so obviously has a bigger budget than me. I haven’t said anything yet but she’s been sending me links to places that are gorgeous but just totally out of my reach financially. \nWIBTA for asking her to pay a portion of the rent that’s relative to her paycheck and I would pay a portion relative to mine? ######","completion":" NTA to ask, if she says no, then you need to tell her you can't afford it. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nINFO: Have you actually discussed budgets yet? Seems strange to be looking for an apartment together without knowing what the other can afford. ######"}
{"prompt":"One of my son’s best friends has been coming to stay with us a lot since they became friends. My son loves sleepovers and I don’t have an issue with hosting (a lot of his friends can’t as they live in trailers).\n\nThis one boy, Jackson, is great. He’s a lovely kid, but his mom sends him over without pajamas and he sleeps in his birthday suit!!!! in our beds :\/\n\nI was fine with this on a one off basis, but he’s starting to come over more now and I don’t want him to set an example of my son.\n\nWIbTa if I mentioned this to his mother. ######","completion":" NTA to ask but if it’s an issue and the kid is as awesome as you say, buy him pj’s of his own and keep them for his use. Make as little fuss about it as possible so he won’t be embarrassed. I wouldn’t doubt that his mom doesn’t have any to provide. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm(15M) and I have 2 moms. I was adopted at 5 months old into a family with 2 older siblings and 2 moms it's my normal. I dont take lightly to homophobic people or people making fun of anyone for being gay. Well today I was playing video games with a couple of my friends. We were playing gta v and everything was fine. Until one of the guys made was trash talking someone and called them a f*got I told him that was out of line. He didnt respond for a bit and when I thought everything was over he said \"you know I get it your parents are gay but you dont have to a be sensitive ass bitch online because of it no one likes a sjw.\" I said \"I'm a sjw because I dont like using slurs??\" He said \"no but you shouldn't judge other people for using them and just keep to yourself.\" I said \"no I'm going to call you on your bullshit when I fucking want to.\" He said \"alright whatever you say p*ssy.\" At that point I was done and said \"oh ok I'm a p*ssy I dont remember being the one who banned someone from my discord server for having a opposing opinion on something but oh no I'm the p*ssy. Are you forgetting about just a couple weeks ago you were dming me talking shit on alex for having a mental breakdown in the general text chat the other day and I tried to stay out of it.\" Another friend said \"wow you cant just be exposing dms like that!\" I said \"no he fucking asked for it and I know the only reason you are defending him is because you want to be mod on the discord server you tell me all the time that if you get closer to him he will give you mod.\" Basically I ruined a friend group and had everyone turn on each other. ######","completion":" NTA Time to find better friends bro ######"}
{"prompt":"She has started doing this thing where when we order food she will tell me she doesn't want something I am getting, a milkshake for example. We get our food and then she'll ask for a bite. No problem. But it never is just one bite or even half of my food. She'll finish all of it. After this kept happening, I thought I could just order two of whatever I was getting and that would work. Wrong. If I order an extra for her after she tells me no she never eats it, so it goes to waste. \n\nThe same thing happens if I cook. I eat meat and she does not and has not for years, but she recently started wanting some of it and then would eat it all herself the same way she was doing with our takeout. If I ask her if she wants me to fix a portion for her, she says no because \"she doesn't eat meat\" and will even get upset at me for asking because I am \"trying to get her to eat meat.\"\n\nI do meal prep for myself, and the story is the same for that too. She eats the meals I have prepared for lunch.  \n\nThis happens all the time now, at almost every meal. It never matters what I do or how I try to plan ahead because the result is always the same. I finally got so fed up with having to always find something else for myself and started refusing to give her any of my food. I told her if she wants her own then let me know and I will get it but otherwise she can't have any of mine. I tried to be reasonable and compromise, but she has given me no choice. \n\nShe thinks I am an ogre for refusing to share food with her since she is having my child and I need to support her, but all I am asking for is for her to stop taking all of my food after I have given her every chance to have her own! AITA? ######","completion":" NTA though she is hopefully unintentionally so\n\nTry and explain calmly to her why you don’t want to share anymore. That her sharing means you don’t actually get the food you’ve made or paid for. That you have absolutely no problem buying her or making her the food but when she shares you end up with very little of the meal ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD.\n\nShe frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't.\n\nLast weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######","completion":" NTA This sounds like it could be potentially harmful to your child. She should go to a doctor and get herself checked out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I chose to lock up with my family while my state is on lock down. Mistake. My stepfather is an ass. Man has never once said thank you in his life and will complain about everything and anything. He rides my ass 24\/7 and makes me feel about 2 feet tall. Well I decided to make us a nice dinner. Stuffed boneless chicken, herb rice, baked potatos, all the fixens. The works. This man stood over my shoulder and cried and whined the entire time. He wanted cheese rice instead. Why wasn't I stacking the chicken in the stove. I was gonna overcook the chicken it needs to be 150 instead of 165 no one wants overcooked chicken. My potatos were \"Wrong. Just wrong\". He kept saying that. \"Wrong. Just wrong. I cooked in the navy\". Finally he kept snapping at me to pull up my \"Sorces\" on how to cook chicken and I snapped and pulled the tray out of the stove and told him to cook his own f*cking meal then I left and took a shower. I get that that was childish but like half the family has spent days locked in their room to avoid his crying needy whiny bullshit so I don't get why my family is mad at me. I am so sick of playing mommy to a 50 year old man. ######","completion":" NTA this seems like a perfectly logical response to his shit ass attitude ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother(single dad) and I live next to each other. He is still working outside of the home but I am not so his daughter has been hanging out with us while he’s gone. She is 13 so she can be home alone but obviously a 13yo home alone for 40+ hours a week isn’t the best idea. \n\n\nAnyway, I have a 5 year old that recently got an easy bake oven that we struggled to use. She made a few “desserts” that didn’t turn out. We only had one packet of cake mix left and 13yo niece offered to help 5yo make it. \n\n\nSuddenly I have a crying 5yo on my hands because she and Niece were  able to make the cake...and Niece ate the whole thing. 5yo didn’t get a single bite and now we have no more mixes left. \n\n\nI thought it was very rude so I sent Niece home for the day. And told her she could come back tomorrow IF she apologizes to 5yo. She gave a half assed apology but defended her actions by saying she made it so she get a to eat it and went home.\n\n\nToday she came back over and I told her that I wanted a real apology and for her to realize what she did was mean. She got huffy and went back home.\n\n\nI get a text from my brother asking why Niece is home crying saying I banned her from ever coming back over. I explained the situation and he reponded “omg this is so petty, why are you manufacturing drama between kids?” \n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA this isn’t a sharing problem is a “my 13 yo niece just took advantage of a 5 yo and doesn’t feel bad about it” problem. It’s the 5 yo’s oven, the 5 yo’s mixes, and the 5 yo’s last chance to make a cake that comes out well and to experience that win after several failed attempts. Enter 13 yo who takes over the show, bakes the cake, and proceeds to eat the whole thing. Niece is a brat and her dad is defending her poor behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential”  so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog. \n\n\nWhen Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer\/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals. \n\n\nSince moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2\/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.\n\n\nSam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice. \n\n\nI don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.\n\n\nWIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ######","completion":" NTA This is your home, and your pets. He has been disrespectful to the point of causing damage to your home and to the mental well being of your pets and yourself. It's just f'd up that you can't just come home happy and be comfortable with your pets. Let the guy go and give your fur babies extra love. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so immediately that title makes me look like a total fucking douche, but let me elaborate. \n\nMy friend Charlie and I recently rekindled our friendship, among rekindling our entire high school friend group, after the group broke up and went no contact for roughly 8 months. The group consisted of about twenty people and went strong from Freshman year until just before Senior year, so about 3 years. \n\nAnyway, while conversing with everyone one on one and rebuilding connections with different people, it comes up that one of my closest friends from those days, Charlie, has been voicing that I owe him $400 fucking dollars in GAS MONEY from the days when he’d drive me and other friends in his car, like sophomore year, so ya know, 2 years ago. He literally wants money for actions that he never asked money for. Not one time in our friendship or in our endeavors did he ever mention wanting gas money or any type of payment. \n\nAnd it’s not like we were just using this dude for rides; for reference, Charlie and I used to have a system where every time we went out to eat, we’d take turns paying for each other’s meal. It was just a cool courtesy tradition thing, and neither of us thought much of it. Charlie was one of my best friends, but this is ridiculous. \n\nIf I genuinely felt I owed him $400, I’d pay him no question. But I do not believe I owe him a fucking dime. He offered to be the one behind the wheel all those times, despite other friends of ours also having cars and licenses. Frankly, this sounds like a cash grab for absolutely no reason. \n\nAnd yes, he is completely dead serious and has voiced this directly to my face as well. He refuses to move forward until I pay him. He doesn’t want payment from the other friends he also drove around, literally just me.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA this is ridiculous and greedy and a few years too late. If he doesn’t want to move forward unless you pay up then dump and be glad that the trash took itself out. Good riddance. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everyone.\n\nI live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.\n\nMy wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.\n\nOur next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.\n\nToday my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.\n\nI stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.” \n\nI came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.\n\nMy wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######","completion":" NTA this is not just about the garden, they're blatantly disrespecting rules set in place for their safety when you've been nice enough to let them live rent-free for the time being ######"}
{"prompt":"So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.\n\nAnyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.\n\nSo I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.\n\nLearning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?\n\nSo AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######","completion":" NTA this is malpractice giving you those meds could have killed you. How many other “mistakes” has he made. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for running away from my house.\n\nSo I’m a 17 M who lived with his parents. So my parents are very overprotective. My mom has life 360, checks my phone always, takes my phone at night, strong curfew and stuff like that. At 17 my curfew is 10. \n So yesterday my girlfriend wanted to FaceTime me and talk. SHe is dealing with the loss of his mother from cancer and is having a very hard time dealing with it. We were talking for a very long time when I realized that it was 11 at night. I really did not care because I could tell that she was very upset and I want to comfort her. About and hour later my mom barges in and before I can even say anything she takes my phone and tells me I’m grounded.i tell her that I was talking to my girlfriend and trying to help her deal better. She says she does not care because I went over curfew and says I’m gonna get in even more trouble for talking back. I don’t know what happend but I just flipped. I yelled at her, I was just done. I took my phone and ran away from the house and ran it my girlfriend house. Now my mom is blasting my phone and saying she is coming to get me and I will never be let out of the house again. \n\nReddit Am I the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA This is how so many people go No Contact with their parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been saving up in order to move out in order to escape my mother for my own sanity. While checking my online statements with my bank app I found out my mom has taken over $700 out of my account, not counting the 200 i loaned to her. \n\nTo say I was pissed is an understatement but I'm too afraid to confront her, so I just decided to move all my money into a new account without her knowledge.\n\nYesterday our dog got hurt and now she's limping, my mom took her to the vet and came home around thirty minutes later, demanding to know where all my money is.\n\nI asked her what she was talking about and she started yelling at me, saying that 'you need to put the money back' and 'i need it in case of emergencies like this!' I tried telling her that if she needed money I would loan it to her and she just needed to ask but all I got back was 'You live under my roof, the least you can do is help me without me having to ask for it.' \n\nMy family is devided, they know cuz afterwards my mom called my relatives to complain about me, on if I'm an asshole or not for moving the money without my mother's knowledge.\n\nAITA?\n\n(Edit: I am currently 18 and work full time. I pay rent and part of our phone bill while having chores. I told her I'd pay for the dogs appointment but my mom is refusing until i put the money back) ######","completion":" NTA this is financial abuse.  You are not your mother's atm or her emergency money fund, she is the parent not you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just found out that my husband agreed to be written into his sister's will saying we will adopt her two daughters if anything happens to her and her husband. This has never been discussed. He works away all the time so it would actually be me looking after them. I know it's a 'hopefully it'll never happen' thing but still I feel I should have been consulted. And none of my OH family can understand why I'm pissed off about this. I want it removed but they say it'll never come to that anyway. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA this is definitely something to be discussed before it's put into a legal document. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.\n\nThe actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.\n\nShe always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.\n\nSince an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a \"replacement ring\" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first \"fiancee\" shopping.\n\nI was thinking to say something along the lines of \"Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve\".\n\nI was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her.  I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ######","completion":" NTA this is actually pretty common especially since you know it’s important to you to have her involved in choosing the ring. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (M) and Gf have lived together for 3.5 years in a house her parents bought and we pay the mortgage for, with roommates and what not.\nShe got a dog when we moved in, and after some time, I did too. \nI paid for my dog (W), but because i was expecting to be out of town now and again, she put W in her name, and never switched her into my name. W is my dog, no question. We have a bond, just like gf has with her dog. Hell, W barely listens to anyone but me. Shes my best friend.\nGf and i had a fight, and she kicked me out immidiately, knowing with the pandemic my only real option was a local motel.\nShe says shes not splitting the dogs up, which i think is mostly spite. Our dogs are amazing sisters. But I think that its not fair that 1. She gets two dogs and i get none, and 2. That W, who has more of a bond with me than anyone else, would be separated from me.\n\nTo add: I have bought most of the food for both dogs, and have put thousands into gf's dog when she needed to see the vet, and like i said, i was the one who actually paid for my dog. I get it was stupid to let her be put in gfs name.\nNo point of putting relationship stuff in here imo.\n\nEdit:\nI am willing to sign away any chance at recovering anything else from the relationship, vehicles, house stuff, etc.\nAm currently in the process of finding my own place, I have no intention of making my dog crash in a motel or at friend's houses until i find a place.\nSecond edit: \nMy dog is very high energy and anxious. I take her on long runs (10km plus at times), and it has always been expected that i calm her down when anxious and what not. Any lawyers willing to pm me advice, hit me up lol. ######","completion":" NTA This is a property issue. You could probably judge Judy your dog back, but it'll make a bunch more tension. That being said it doesn't sound like you're going to be spending much time with these folks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Gday all\n\nI’m 21, just turned 21 a week ago or something. I’m also Australian where being 21 means sweet fuck all, whereas I know in the US it’s a big deal. Over here when we turn 18 that’s like your 21. Anyway. \n\nDespite being 21, my mother still likes to tell me when I get home from work (full time, 8-14 hour days, tradesman so manual labour) to go have a shower, she’ll still tell me to brush my hair, brush my teeth all that very basic stuff. \n\nI’ve often said rather nicely she doesn’t need to tell me these things. I’m 21, I can manage my own life quite easily, and I will do these things at my own discretion at the times I please. \n\nLast night she said it again, I had got out of the shower, got changed and was walking to my room, where my hairbrush lives. On the way there she said “go brush your hair”. Which was exactly what I was going to do anyway. \n\nI considered this the last straw, I had a proper word with her about the fact that I’m 21 now, she NEEDS to stop this, and it’s no longer a joke. I NEED to be able to grow up myself, and she doesn’t need to continuously say for me to do very basic things like I’m 10 years old. \n\nThis resulted in a massive argument. I ended up walking away, I’m not one to argue if it’s going nowhere, and then I drove to a mates place.\n\nWas I the asshole for finally putting my foot down and sternly saying what I thought needed to happen? \n\nCheers! ######","completion":" NTA things probably won’t change a whole lot until you move out ######"}
{"prompt":"I, f13, have a 29 year old step mom after my dad cheated on my bio mom and impregnated her. He cheated because of selfish and personal reasons involving me. They now have 5 kids together, Alyviya, who's 9, Madden and Maverick, 7, Alaiya, 5, and Maxx, 4. My mom also has remarried, but I get along with my step dad and his kid. Because of some messed up custody, I spend the school year with my dad and the summer with my mom. I mostly keep to myself, study, and just kinda drift along. My dad and his wife are fine with ignoring me, and it works out fine. They have their kids and their worries, and I'm not one of them.  Anyway,  a couple  nights ago they told me that dad's wife's cousin had passed away and that they would be leaving to a closeby state. I thought they were going that least take the older ones, but no. I have to take care of five kids under 10.  My dad hit me with the usual stupid crap about how they're my siblings and how I'm obliged to take care of them, with wife nodding stupidly along. Then, they just leave. No instructions or anything. I just gave them a refried dinner and let them watxh TV until about 9, told them to go to bed, ad that was it. They refused, of course. I gave up at one point.  At noon, I'm exhausted and I figured that they were just late or stuck in traffic. By 6, I was feeling murderous and checked their vacation. They're halfway across the country at a known vacation spot. I text them, and they just give a little lie and stop answering. When I threatened to call 911 for child neglect, they came back and refused to talk to me for \"ruining their vacation.\" There were some choice words exchanged, and basically I told them I wanted to move to my mom's full time. So, reddit, AITA?\n\nSorry for format, on mobile\n\nTL;DR - dad and stepmom left me with their five kids under ten because they said they  had to go to a funeral, when instead they were halfway across the country on vacation. ######","completion":" NTA they’re neglecting you as well as your half siblings. You’re also not old enough to really be a long-term caretaker... ######"}
{"prompt":"Myself (F, 25) and my husband (M, 29) have been discussing having children and I’ve recently gone off of birth control to start trying. I had a very traumatic childhood and do not want that for my children. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandfather has since died but my grandmother is still alive. I reconnected with my mother over the last 10 years and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. My mother is currently living with my grandmother. \n\n My whole side of the family is very religious. Jehovah’s witnesses. They have decided to shun me ever since I left their religion. My brother left before me and they shun him as well. My mother seems to think once we do have a child things will be different and they will want my child in their lives, especially my grandmother. I told her that I have no intention of letting my child have a relationship with any of the family members who are shunning me. She seemed surprised and I think it upset her that I said that. \n\n I don’t want to teach my children that what my family is doing is okay. I don’t want to expose them to that religion and have them force fed information. I know if they have a relationship with my grandmother she will not respect any boundaries I put in place in regards to religion. I don’t know if my viewpoint is healthy or if I would be harming my children by not allowing them to have a relationship with my side of the family (other than my mother and brother). So WIBTA if I keep my future children away from their maternal side of the family because of how they treat me? ######","completion":" NTA they’ll be your kids and it’s completely up to you how to raise them. On top of that, it’s a responsible decision to protect them from learning harmful behaviours like shunning family members without valid reasons. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.\n\nMy family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8\/9. \n\nWhen I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school. \n\nSome of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t. \n\nI had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.\n\nMy grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often. \n\nI still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year. \n\nI was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.\n\nI come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age. \n\nI lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.” \n\nDead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ######","completion":" NTA they were insulting you over and over like what did they expect you to do? ######"}
{"prompt":"This ones petty I know but my friend (17m) was sending selfies from girls we know to our group chat full of friends (also all 16-17m) last night. He screen shotted the selfies of these girls in make up and sent them to our group chat of about 15 of our guy friends and saying stuff like “which one is worse” and they look goofy and they shouldn’t have posted those photos and stuff like that. I called him out and said it was weird and gross for him to do that. Almost everyone in the group chat took his side saying that if they post it online publicly we are allowed to make fun of it. And that everyone sends photos of people calling clowning on them and it shouldn’t be different just because they are girls. I kept arguing that sending photos of girls you aren’t friends to a group chat of all your guy friends to clown on them was a gross thing to do. They didn’t really get it and just claimed I was white knighting and it wasn’t really a big deal. They told me I should drop it but it doesn’t really feel like a thing we should let slide. Am I overreacting and should I just drop it? ######","completion":" NTA they were being jerks. Also, what if the conversation was shared somehow? How would those girls feel?! You did the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year and I only just found this subreddit. Also first ever post so go easy on me.  \nLast year one of my colleagues got diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed to go through chemo.  \nChemotherapy makes all of your hair fall out in clumps and eventually you wind up bald. Some of my colleagues, both male and female, decided to shave themselves bald to show support.  \nHowever, I hardly know this colleague (I had only been with the company 2 months) so while I expressed my support and hope he pulls through, I wouldn't be shaving my head.  \nWhen shaving-day came around, both the colleague and a few others that had shaved themselves expressed they were hurt I hadn't shaved bald and asked what was up.  \nI said I still absolutely support him in every way, but I'm just not shaving myself bald. He seemed offended and the now bald gang said I was being a dick and I might as well laugh in his face. When I asked how come they aren't giving some of the others the same lecture, apparently it was because they were women and \"needed\" the long hair.  \nI'm almost certain I am in the right and they're being unreasonable, but I need a sanity check. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA They sound like ridiculous mob of assholes to turn something that's supposed to infuse positivity into something to fight about. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, using a throwaway account and on mobile.\n\nWhen I was 14 my parents finally bought a house and we were able to move out of our trailer. In the trailer I had my own room because I’m the oldest and my sisters shared a room. The house we moved into had 3 bedrooms and a garage. Before we moved in, my mom asked me if I would be ok sleeping in the garage so that all 3 of us could have our own rooms. I was told that the garage would be converted into a bedroom. I said yes because it seemed cool at the time. So we moved in and at first I shared a room with one of my sisters until we could convert the garage. When we finally did convert the garage, I found out the only thing we were doing was sealing the door shut. I didn’t get an A\/C or anything. Since I didn’t have A\/C and it was south Texas, I wasn’t allowed to shut my bedroom door all through high school, which led to some awkward moments. Because of the window in the kitchen into my room and my door always being open, I had to go to the bathroom to change. And the laundry room was in there, so people walked through my room at all times of day and night. After a few weeks it stopped being cool and fun and I hated it, but I didn’t get feel like I could say anything at that point. Now I’m in college and every time I come home I have to sleep on the couch because the garage is just storage now. My bed frame broke about 6 months before I left for college and my parents figured I was about to leave, so I just slept on a mattress on the floor. Now I don’t have an actual bed in there, so my parents just converted it back to storage. \n\nAITA if I’m upset that my parents only presented me with the choice to sleep in the garage and made it seem like the best choice and if I’m upset that I spent 4 years living miserably because of my room? ######","completion":" NTA they just manipulated you into something that you wouldn't have accepted otherwise. A dick move on there part ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22) live in mature student accommodation while I do my Masters. One of my housemates and her husband (early 30s) got pregnant after moving in.\n\nI haven’t slept in weeks and haven’t been able to do my uni work. I am living on this baby’s schedule. I pay a lot to live in this housing and it is against our legal contract to generate noise loud enough to disturb other tenants. I understand that they can’t move out any time soon but I think it’s selfish to have a baby in student housing and they should move out when this is over. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA they have those rules for a reason. It stinks for them but there are apartments for families, student housing isn't the place to bring a baby home to. ######"}
{"prompt":"13 F here. I've got 4 close friends, all 13. And, like 13 year olds, we like to be play videogames together. The problem is, I'm the only one with a pc, and enough controllers to play all 5. \n\nNone of my friends have anything to play on, so they all wanna visit me when we wanna do something together. That's fine, I like them, and I love playing with them. We always have a lot of fun. But every time we're at my place, they screech, scream, yell, curse, and make huge messes. I have a brother, who's room is right next to mine, and he always lends me enough controllers to play, as I only have one. And I repay him with 4 hours of non-stop screaming. \n\nI'm not saying I don't scream too, I'm no better than them. But my parents are beginning to grow tired of it. \n\nOn top of the noise, they make huge messes. A girl brings popcorn, and they fight about it until the floors covered. Another girl makes coffee, and there's coffee grounds everywhere. Another girl makes hot chocolate, and she drips chocolate all the way from the machine to the bin. Another girl gets impatient, and begins looking through my stuff, and completely covers my bed with random stuff from my shelves \"to look at it\"\n\nI spend hours after they leave, my parents give me a lecture about visiting someone else next time, and I ask them to maybe go visit someone else next time? \n\nThey all get a no.\n\nI'm just so fucking tired of dealing with this shit like 3 times a month. But I don't want to say no. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA they don't have a right to trash your place. Set ground rules and if they can't follow them they can't be there.\n\nYou shouldn't be having anyone over at the moment anyway (though this might depend on location) ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I'm probably TA but frankly IDGAF and I'm posting this anyways.  \n\nBackstory:My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my mom remarried instantly (I think its cause she didn't want to be alone the days I wasn't there).  I am an only child but her husband had 4 kids all around my age, so at 5 I now had \"siblings\" who were 6,5,3 and 2.  At first it was alright but as time went on I hated it, they would all gang up on me and it was always a 4v1.  \n\nSo I spent a lot of time at my mom's and with them, they excluded me a lot saying how I wasn't one of them and it was always tense.  Our parents tried to make it work they really did, but the kids wanted no part of it and I didn't want any part of it after the constant fighting and bullying.  At 8 or 9 I started playing a lot by myself in my room.  At 14 I asked my dad if i could live with him but he had a bad living situation and couldn't afford to have me and he wanted me to at least have a good home which I respected.  After years you'd think id see them as siblings but I felt nothing but indifference for all of them cause I can't remember having a single good moment with any of them. \n\nI moved out the second I turned 18 and I split rent with my dad, I got accepted into a GREAT college.  I don't want to give out the name but if you watch college football they are one of the 4 teams that made the playoffs this year.  \n\nWell now college is shut down and I ended up moving back in with my dad for the time being.  I was visiting my mom and I told her about the college, she was proud of me but my step sister (the oldest and 1 year older than me) asked why I didn't tell the rest of the family about me going to a good college.  I told her I did tell my family, she got confused and I told her I told my family.  She finally got that I meant not her or her siblings\/dad.  She called me a dick and left the room and my mom said I was being rude and practically kicked me out of the house. ######","completion":" NTA they didn't make you feel apart of their family, you spoke to the reality. Your mum is an ass for kicking you out ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc. \n\nI was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.\n\nTwo days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!\n\nSo the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS). \n\nWell they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”\n\nWhat am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ######","completion":" NTA they can't expect you to pretend you are not single after they broke up with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) had a tough time in high school. People ignored me or made fun of me for being different. I suspect they knew I wasn't 'normal', but I can't prove it. All I know is they didn't like me and treated me terribly. They called me a freak and the r-word. They told me I'd never make anything of myself, kicked me when I was walking off the bus, and other things like that. I ended up going to college out of my home state to start over. It cost me the last friendships I had. I hoped at least some of them would change and I'd be able to talk to these people as their equal a few years later.\nThen last week happened. So a lot of them were posting about how we should be more tolerant and accepting of those that are different from us. I was tagged in some of these posts because it was a social media challenge. I don't do those, but I decided to DM those that tagged me and ask if they really believed it, and if they did, then why didn't they treat me right. I got some mixed responses. Some completely ignored me and others claimed I was lying about being mistreated.\nAfter realizing they hadn't changed, and they probably never will, I went through all my social media accounts and unfollowed everyone I went to high school with. I texted one person from those times that I was doing this since he was the only one that didn't completely cut ties. I told him I wanted to save my mental health, which is more important than any of those so-called friendships. He responded with I was an AH because people in high school loved me, that I'd regret cutting ties with them, and said I was a liar for claiming they'd ever say those things. In his words, they'd never do that because people in my high school were so nice to him! Well, of course they were, he was the class president every year I was in high school! That's what I wanted to say, but I didn't respond and blocked him temporarily until I calmed down. I'm wondering if I was in the wrong for any of this. What say you? ######","completion":" NTA they bullied you for all of Highschool and know their acting like they were nice for their own gain ######"}
{"prompt":"I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June &amp; don’t want to overlap rent &amp; mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA they are dragging their feeting and taking advantage of your kindness. They are lucky you let them pull you along this long, especially with no deposit to hold the place. First one to sign gets it I say! ######"}
{"prompt":"\\*my wife has approved this description of events, so it is less biased\\* \n\nMy wife and I spend a lot of time at her Aunt and Uncle (aged 80+) cabin in Colorado. We come up to help them take care of the house and yard, and we are both pretty handy so we help fix things that inevitably break around the place. We typically spend 3-4 days of the week here during the spring\/summer months, and 1-2x\/month during the fall\/winter (we can both work remotely so no issues there).  The small cabin has 2 spare rooms, as well as a loft with no bathroom. There isn't a guest bath that's unattached to a bedroom. \n\nThis weekend her parents and sister are coming up to the cabin. They come up rarely, and her sister comes up maybe once year.  Her sister is single. She's been told she's selfish in past relationships, and from the outside looking in, I have to agree. We've stayed at her place when visiting her, and she told us to bring our own bedding, towels, food, etc. My wife also had to bring her own cleaning supplies to make the room decent.\n\nWe arrived at the cabin last night and slept in the bedroom we always stay in. This afternoon, we got a call from my MIL telling us to move our things up to the loft (which has 2 twin beds and is above\/open to the living room) so my SIL can stay in the bedroom. I don't think this is fair given that we come up more often, do more work, are married, and were already here this weekend. There is also not a bathroom to use that doesn't involve us walking into in-laws bedrooms. When my wife told her mother that she didn't think this was completely fair, her mother yelled and told her to deal with it because the sister never comes up and doesn't feel welcome. To be fair, we have always prioritized going there because we know how much help the Aunt\/Uncle need.  \n\nAITA for not wanting to cater to my SIL? ######","completion":" NTA there’s no reason to bend over backwards for someone who has no better reason or claim to the room. Sounds like MIL wants to avoid a temper tantrum and it’s easier to try and force you guys to move. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancee and I are scheduled to get married next month, but for obvious reasons that's all in question right now. My state has started the process of reopening, but everything is still up in the air as to when restrictions will be fully lifted. \n\nNow to the problem. We picked a date that has major personal significance to us. It won't occur on a weekend again for another 5 years. So we have a choice to make: give up our date or put off the wedding for another 5 years. Neither of us is keen about either of those options.\n\nI've recently been thinking about option 3: go through with the wedding as planned, just with some changes. Weddings are still allowed to be performed as long as the only people there are the officiant, the couple, and the parents or witnesses. WIBTA if I kept my date but uninvited everyone other than our parents? I've thought about maybe setting up a live stream for everyone else and just having the reception once everything calms down. I'm feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about this whole mess and just need some objectivity. ######","completion":" NTA There’s a fucking global pandemic happening and it’s YOUR wedding. You can have a reception\/celebration whenever things open back up. But if I was invited to a wedding that was supposed to happen soon I would 100% anticipate not going. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: I'm a trans guy. Deadname means the name I do not use anymore.\n\nAbout a month ago my friend made an Instagram post about how much she misses everyone and dedicated a little section in the comments for specific friends saying what she missed about them.\n\nIn my section she puts my deadname in parentheses next to my preferred one. She obviously did not have to do this and her reason behind it was she had a friend with the same name as me so she had to specify. I tried to tell her she could've put my last initial instead.\n\nShe has lots of friends\/followers who could've seen the post and that makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want people knowing my deadname at all.\n\nShe kept telling me no one cares and that most of her friends that saw it were LGBT+ which still does not make it right. ######","completion":" NTA there was no reason to put that and you were uncomfortable ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman. \n\nI eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA there is nothing wrong with it, so long as you don't use it afterwards pretending to be funny by pretending to be the stereotypical woman, but I doubt you will. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.\n\nBecause of everything going on it took longer than  usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.\n\nSo I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.\n\nI do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ######","completion":" NTA The situation is shitty for her, but you have no obligation to allow her to stay.  You’ve been kind and given her notice she needs to leave.  As you pointed out, after you pass that 30 day mark you will be obligated to follow laws if she refuses to leave.  \n\nHas she talked to any fiends or family since she has lived with you?  Perhaps she can couch surf until she gets it figured out. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL;DR - parents want me to keep the door of my room open while my girlfriend is visiting, insist that I must \"earn being treated like an adult\" (their words). \n\nI am a 23 year old man. I lived in the dorms for my first three years of college, and moved back in with my parents this semester because I got an internship and my childhood home is closer to it.\n\nDuring my three years living at college, iet my girlfriend. We're in a committed relationship, see each other every day, will probably get engaged soon -- yada yada yada, haha. We are both accustomed to a environment with privacy. I had a dorm, and she lives with her parents who are pretty lax and have a lot of respect for boundaries. \n\nSince I moved back in, when my girlfriend visits and we are in my room, my mom knocks on the door and tells me to keep it open. It was a bit shocking and frustrating at first, and against my better judgement I chose to just ignore the new rule and hope that they relaxed a little after a while. \n\nTonight, my mom confronted about it after my girlfriend left. She said that I lived in a \"our house, our rules\" arrangement, and that I had to \"earn being an adult.\" This last part got me a little heated -- I don't feel as though being an adult is something earned, and if it is, then I have done everything I need to earn it. The rule makes girlfriend feel uncomfortable and not very welcome, and now she's a little hesitant to come over. \n\nI understand that they are doing me a favor by allowing me to live with them, and that the homeowner is entitled to set the rules. It\"s just that I think this particular rule is unreasonable and even sort of rude to my girlfriend. And I find the comment about not having earned being an adult disrespectful to me. \n\nAnyway, that was a pretty long post over a pretty simple dispute. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to follow this rule? ######","completion":" NTA the phrase “earn being treated like a adult” rubbed me the complete wrong way. If you have a done steps (like college, job, manage yourself well, able to balance) then you’re a adult. What it sounds like is your mom is one of those people who also see their children as just that, a child and never lets them really grow. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is trying to make me add his mom on Facebook. I don’t want to. I’ve told him no several times but he just won’t lay off of me about it. I know she’s hounding him about getting me to do it, but I just don’t want her on my page. At first he said she wants to see pictures and videos of the baby and that by not adding her I’m “keeping the baby from her”, but we have a shared album on our phones we both add things to to where she can see them whenever she wants. I also told him that he’s free to send her anything I post related to the baby that he thinks she’ll like. He said that’s not enough. He’s now saying I’m being disrespectful to his mom by not adding her and he doesn’t give a fuck that I don’t like her. I feel it’s disrespectful of him to keep asking me after I say no and trying to force me to add her. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA the people in here a freakin NUTS. If you don't want to friend someone you don't have to. None of you guys would tell her to be friends in real life with someone she doesn't want to be friends with, so why does that not extend to her social media. Yes, its her MIL, but that really doesn't mean much other than she's her husband's mom.\n\n MIL is an AH for continually pestering and stressing your husband for something she's been told no on. Which in turn is zapping friction in your marriage and household. No means NO. \n\nYour husband is also an AH for not being supportive in your decision to not friend his mom, you said she already has access to media where she can see her grandchild, so at this point there's no argument other than he said so. I'm not saying your husband is toxic, but his response TO this whole thing is toxic. ######"}
{"prompt":"   So the bf (m 35) and I (f 24) were going to a pool and I have gained a bit of weight since buying most of my suits. I went from an anorexic 95lbs to about 135 in the span of under 2 years. I don’t look bad but I still struggle with my body image a lot. Most of my suits are still Xs and I’m technically a medium now. Anyway long story short I have like 2 mediums and both of them show a lot of my ass. (Ive actually gained weight since I bought them too) He said “well god d*** can’t you wear something that actually covers your ass?  There are going to be kids around.” So I went and started trying on the ones that are too small and obviously I’m upset because I look fat in all of them. They cut into my hips and stuff and I look bad. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset with him, even though I explained that the two mediums are the only two that actually fit and that I’m too big for the others. So I just wore one of the bottoms that doesn’t cut in as much but covers more of my ass (kind of). Obviously it’s my own damn fault I gained weight, I’m well aware of that. I plan to go on a diet soon. I haven’t had a ton of money to go buy suits lately so I just got the two mediums cheap on amazon. They are cheeky rather than traditional ones. Am I the asshole for being upset with him? ######","completion":" NTA the only ass you need to get rid of is your future ex.\n\nPS tell your future ex that kids have butts and know what they look like\n\nPPS keep your very slight curves and find a man who drools over them ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend (f20) and I (m22) have been together for 3 years. About a year into our relationship, she was diagnosed with ADHD. It made a lot of sense as to what why she did a lot of the things she did, and we agreed that she’d go on medication to make her better. About a month ago, she went off her meds. I tried to be supportive but she’s started doing a lot of things that in all honesty just get on my nerves, the main one being hyperfocusing. \n\nShe loved reading as a kid, and is currently doing a Publishing degree but has really struggled since her diagnosis with concentrating whilst reading. Her newest hyperfocusing endeavour is attempting to read 100 books before quarantine finishes. She’s so far read over 50, I’m proud of her, but it is literally ALL she does. \n\nA few days ago I told her that she needed to slow down a bit, not only to give herself a break but to spend more time with me. We ended up in a pretty heated discussion about whether she should go back on her medication, to which she argued she’s doing fine without them, which she clearly isn’t. Her parents have texted me saying I’ve upset her and her friends have said I need to try and understand her and her ADHD more. I do try but it’s difficult when she’s being like this. AITA?? ######","completion":" Nta the nature of mental disorders leads people to not believe they need help for them. \n\nI have adhd. Currently unmedicated and pretty useless. \n\nIf one medication gives her bad side effects have her doctor try a different one. Theres multiple choices. If she wants to live her best life she needs balance\n\nAlso hyper fixation for those who dont experience it: You forget to eat, you ignore homework, you ignore your bodily needs sometimes. \n\nIts not just reading. Its all she does. If its anything like me you sit down and start something then realize you havent moved in 7 hours. Its not healthy. I once hyper fixated on an art project and spent 9 hours straight on it. I didn't eat or drink or use the bathroom. I hardly even remember the time being spent. \n\nShe isnt ok like this. It makes life really really hard.\n\nHowever you cant shove pills down her throat. Shes in charge of her own body. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it. \n\nOne day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA the LEAST she could’ve done was give you a heads up I’d be uncomfortable too ######"}
{"prompt":"My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.\n\nMy mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.\nOk so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money\nSorry if I worded it badly ######","completion":" NTA the kids have a trust, they will be fine. He wanted you to have the money so take it. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life. \n\nDespite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him. \n\nYesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away. \n\nI do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.\n\nAITA for ignoring her? ######","completion":" NTA The cut direct - actively snubbing someone socially - is to be reserved only for extreme cases. But in extreme cases, it is considered appropriate to do, and you are in an extreme case. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left. \n\nSome side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA The conversation was over at private property. Seems like you were polite enough. ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc. \n\nIn that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:\n\nShe is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)\n\nInitially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis. \n\nAnyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ######","completion":" NTA The commentary about your body is frankly inappropriate and unkind and it would be equally gross for you to do the same to anyone else. Also having an uncircumcised penis is not gross. This is clearly her own anxieties surrounding having sex and it is manifesting in this, but honestly there is no excuse good enough to make these kinds of comments. \n\nIf she is otherwise amazing, I would sit her down and say that the comments about you being gross for being uncircumcised need to stop. You don't find them funny, and rather hurtful and you have to assume she doesn't want you to feel like that. Assuming she responds like a normal person (Omg I am so sorry it wasn't my intention to make you feel like that) maybe you can talk about where the comments were coming from. I think it's highly likely they come from a place of anxiety, but that's not a blank check to say shitty things. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ill try to make this brief. \n\nMy grandma is in her late 60s, was diagnosed with MS 40 years ago. She has difficulty speaking and holding conversations and recently has been showing signs of deterioration. \n\nShe had 18 cats when she burned her house down and 13 passed. She had to give up 3 living ones  aland was allowed to keep 2 when she moved into government living facilities due to emotional support. This was 15 years ago. \n\nRecently one of her cats passed away and the other has two paws in the grave. Im worried she will be close to follow since she so attached. \n\nAnyhow the neighbor didnt spay the stray they let roam and its having kittens. After running the idea through my mom i decided to get one of the kittens, potty train it and get its shots, introduce it to my cats, and then give it to her. \n\nShe was super excited and asked what they looked like. At the time they were days old so all i could tell her was 2 grey and 1 black\/white. \n\nEvery other day for weeks she has called and changed her mind from grey, to black...to grey...to black. And it takes her a good 10 minutes to spit out the reasons she wants X cat. \n\nAnyways they are 8 weeks ajd the neigbor brought them over. He said i have first dibs, but a young couple wanted the 1 grey and his son really liked the black\/white one. \n\nNow this doesnt matter but the available grey one is my favorite. It looks like a little panther. I told him to let whoever wanted specifics to get their choices and i would give my grandma the 3rd one regardless. \n\nI honestly couldn't remember the last color she landed on. \n\nWell my gf got home and i told her and she said \"im pretty sure last time she called she wanted the black one\"\n\nAITA for leaving it as is and giving her the darker grey one or whichever isnt chosen by the other two interested parties? ######","completion":" NTA the coat of the cat doesnt matter. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely broke the mower. When they gave him a manual push mower: he did it like with the vacuum.\n\nParents do some of the stuff but even I have to clean up after him. Parents say \"we cleaned up after you, it's no different than that\". \n\nYesterday this shift happened again and I refused to clean up. My Dad joked about how apparently learning to clean up after somebody else even when it shouldn't be your job is good experience to have before entering the workforce. Bruh wtf. My parents had to get the work done. \n\nAITA for refusing to do chores? ######","completion":" NTA the brother should learn how to do it right godammit ######"}
{"prompt":"So a couple of years ago my twin brother Ric and I met his now wife Nikki through mutual friends. I liked Nikki and asked her out, she said yes, we had coffee and a great time. I asked if she wanted to go out again, she apologized and told me that she thinks I’m a great guy that’s why she gave going out with me a shot but for some reason it’s Ric that she’s attracted to (Ric and I are identical twins). \n\nI didn’t expect that but it was fine because it wasn’t as if I fell in love with Nikki at first sight and was already planning the rest of our lives together. I also thought it was cool that there’s this awesome girl who likes my brother because Ric was always the quiet and introverted one and didn’t go out much. So I set them up, they clicked instantly and last month they got married after dating for a few years. \n\nA lot of the wedding guests know how Ric and Nikki got together so I didn’t think it would be an issue when in my best man speech I joked that Nikki knew which twin she wanted from the get go and recounted how her shooting me down during our date led to me setting her and Ric up. Nikki laughed while Ric said that I became his favorite brother after I set them up (we have no other brothers). \n\nHowever, after the wedding my girlfriend was mad and told me that it was completely unnecessary to bring up that I went out with Nikki. She said it’s disrespectful to everyone and I should’ve just said that I set them up. I think it’s more amusing to know the whole story and that my girlfriend is over reacting (it was one time and literally all Nikki and I did was drink coffee and talk) but I wanna know how people who don’t know us look at this. ######","completion":" NTA the bride and groom were fine with it. It’s their day, and if they’re happy then great! Sounds like a hilarious story, your girlfriend is just upset you spoke about going out with another woman. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.\n\nI’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out. \n\nI don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself. \n\nWhen Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries\/internet\/cable\/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself. \n\nJoe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends. \n\nJoe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations. \n\nAITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ######","completion":" NTA The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior & it doesn't sound like he'll be homeless, he'll just be with roommates who are not family. That might be the best thing for him because then he'll have to pay bills and take care of himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"So some back story - I was originally renting a 3bed\/2bath house with one other person, we will call them RM1. Total rent was $2700\/month. I paid $1400 and they paid $1300 bc I had the larger room. While it was just the two of us RM1 utilized the spare bedroom as a closet and additional storage. \n\nA 3rd roommate eventually moves in to the spare bedroom, call them RM2. I now pay $1000 and they each pay $850. \n\nMy SO moves in to share a room with me. This is discussed with RM1 &amp; RM2 prior and they are happy with it bc we are all good friends. RM1 wants a decrease in their rent with another person moving in so we land on my SO and I paying $1100 (collectively) and RM1 &amp; RM2 each paying $800 - RM2 was fine staying at $850. Everyone is happy. \n\nThis is where things get complicated. We receive the renewal notification via email and rent has gone up $55\/month. No biggie we thought, we will just split it four ways. Nope - RM1 wants me and SO to cover it. When we disagree RM1 then counters and wants us to pay that and her rent to go down an additional $50\/month. So our rent would be $1255 and RM1 and RM2 each pay $750. This is not based on anything and is just an arbitrary $50.\n\nA few things to note - me, my SO, and RM2 share a bathroom and RM1 has her own bathroom. I also pay the $35\/month dog fee for my dog and RM1’s dog.\n\nThey seem to be stuck on the fact that we only pay $550 each and they are paying $800, even though we share a space, closet, etc. I told them that we feel the $300\/month to have an extra person in the common area is more than generous so we refused to accept their proposal. AITA?\n\n\n\nTL;DR roommate wanted to renegotiate rent after coming to an agreement to which I refused ######","completion":" NTA the $55 increase should be split amongst you, and RM1 should contribute half the pet fee. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background. I am a 19 year old female and live with my parents while I go to college. One night I am messing around on my computer in the dinning room. My step-father walks behind me and stops. I look around on he has his face right next to my neck kinda smelling me. I say \"stop it\" cause it's weird. He walks off saying something like \"shut up\" in a slightly annoyed tone. I felt some guilt for reacting like that. He then walks outside saying to my mom that I'm in a mood or something. I'm wondering if I was overrating but he know I don't exactly like being touched. We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said \"get a fucking life.\" My mum said that I hurt his feelings so I apologized. So am I the asshole, and should I apologize this time? ######","completion":" NTA thats creepy ######"}
{"prompt":"He would physically beat me every week at school, I remember once he got scissors and ruined my hair before.\n\nHe would fallow me into the bathroom and throw things like heavy books at me, and I would come home with bruises.\n\nBut  when it came to draft day we were the same age, except I was gay, and  barred from military service while he was forced into it.\n\nfast forward to today 4 years after he was drafted he started to post about how awful it was on facebook.\n\nHe  said something like \"how is it fair that women vote on things that can  effect millions of young boys lives it isnt fair, it was the worst 2  years of my life\"\n\nI left him a  comment saying \"How did it feel while you were in there, being  physically intimidated everyday, knowing it could have all been avoided  if you were born different. Thats how you made me feel everyday when we were young, they shaved you, and beat you when you didnt listen, poor  diddums you arent against people being mistreated because of the way  they are born, you are against you being mistreated because of the way  you were born\".  \n\"Oh but of course at your little camp there wasnt any \"faggots\" like me, and Im sure you loved your new haircut you sure loved haircuts when you gave them to me\".\n\n  \nI got banned from his group, and he sent me a messenger with homophobic language.\n\nEDIT:sorry if my English is poor its not my first language. ######","completion":" NTA that’s karma at its finest. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, using a throwaway account and on mobile.\n\nWhen I was 14 my parents finally bought a house and we were able to move out of our trailer. In the trailer I had my own room because I’m the oldest and my sisters shared a room. The house we moved into had 3 bedrooms and a garage. Before we moved in, my mom asked me if I would be ok sleeping in the garage so that all 3 of us could have our own rooms. I was told that the garage would be converted into a bedroom. I said yes because it seemed cool at the time. So we moved in and at first I shared a room with one of my sisters until we could convert the garage. When we finally did convert the garage, I found out the only thing we were doing was sealing the door shut. I didn’t get an A\/C or anything. Since I didn’t have A\/C and it was south Texas, I wasn’t allowed to shut my bedroom door all through high school, which led to some awkward moments. Because of the window in the kitchen into my room and my door always being open, I had to go to the bathroom to change. And the laundry room was in there, so people walked through my room at all times of day and night. After a few weeks it stopped being cool and fun and I hated it, but I didn’t get feel like I could say anything at that point. Now I’m in college and every time I come home I have to sleep on the couch because the garage is just storage now. My bed frame broke about 6 months before I left for college and my parents figured I was about to leave, so I just slept on a mattress on the floor. Now I don’t have an actual bed in there, so my parents just converted it back to storage. \n\nAITA if I’m upset that my parents only presented me with the choice to sleep in the garage and made it seem like the best choice and if I’m upset that I spent 4 years living miserably because of my room? ######","completion":" NTA that’s insane that they treat their child like that. I would have an adult talk with them and let them know how much that hurt you ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.\n\nHe makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50\/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.\n\nWe were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles)  I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, \"Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me.\" And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)\n\nThe thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends\/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.\n\nAITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?\n\n\nTL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######","completion":" NTA that’s honestly super fucking bizarre. I cannot imagine the logic in his head to justify this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds AWFUL, but hear me out. Throwaway in case she’s on reddit. This story happened before pandemic hit. \n\nMy roommate is a sweetheart most of the time, and I like to think that we’re pretty good friends. However, since she was randomly assigned to our apartment, I understand that she has different boundaries than I do which I respect whole-heartedly. She locks her bedroom door when shes not home, and while it does kind of sting that she’d think me or other roommate would do something nefarious, I get it. Our doors have two locks on them; both have a key, but one is flimsy. She stayed the night at her partners house one day, and has a stand alone alarm clock that she uses instead of her phone. \n\nWell, evidently she forgot to turn off the clock and at 7AM it started beeping. I had gotten done working a night shift and was BONE tired. All I wanted was the alarm clock to go off. I called and texted her 3-4x, but she didn’t pick up. So, I went upstairs, picked the bedroom flimsy door lock with my fingernail, and turned the alarm off so I could rest. She came home and was pretty upset asking what I was doing in her room, despite me telling her that the alarm went off for a long time while she was gone. She ended up locking herself in her room and things were tense for a long while after, and I have passed her locking both locks in her room as of recently.  At one point she was on the phone upstairs telling her friend how I broke into her room (thin walls). I feel awful. \n\nWas I an asshole for essentially breaking into her room so that I could turn her alarm off? I feel like theres a weird dynamic shift now. ######","completion":" NTA that’s a bullshit move on her part she should be apologizing to you for the disturbance ######"}
{"prompt":"This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light.\n\nI (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular)\n\nI didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled \"Hey chocolate boy!\" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black).\n\nThey didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment.\n\nI smiled and casually replied back \"You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?\" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away.\n\nMy friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was \"unwarranted and inappropriate\".\n\nIn my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ######","completion":" NTA that's what they get for being rude and racist ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this girl who tends to exaggerate a lot of things. I was getting sick of it so when she claimed that she has a black belt in Karate and still regularly practices Karate at a high level I took the opportunity to catch her in a lie.  \n\nI knew she was lying because I actually have a bit of martial arts background (a lower level though) and have friends and family who have black belts in various martial arts and some of what she said as well as her coordination and activity levels didn't add up.\n\nMy friends scolded me afterward, they said that it was obvious that she was lying but it was also obvious that she was only lying because she's insecure and just wants to impress us. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA that's the thing about lies they eventually come out. Thing is I don't know much about self defense...yet my favorite memory of 3 rd grade was when I made the 6th grade kicking show off land on is ass. By walking up and grabbing his swinging foot and pushing it up...ah the look on the 6 graders faces that day... ######"}
{"prompt":"We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home.  It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point.  Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats.  I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it.   Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework.  She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so).   My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk.  He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more.  So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't.  It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today.  Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ######","completion":" NTA that's not favouring the child, btw does she even want to mow a lawn lol ######"}
{"prompt":"I a (15M) enjoy cooking and baking and have always wanted a stand mixer since it would make life easier in the kitchen and have told my mom this multiple times and had wanted one for my birthday.\n\nAs time goes on my birthday rolls around and my uncle comes to visit use and had brought me a present. I didn't open it until he left as I wanted to spend time with him and not look like a greedy child only wanting the gifts.\n\nWhen he leaves I open the gift and there it was. A decent looking WHITE stand mixer (that's important for later) and was around £80 in value. I used this multiple times in the kitchen and enjoyed using it as it was a great tool for the kitchen.\n\nA few months later I wanted to make some croissants and asked my mom. She said yes. I went to the kitchen looking for the stand mixer and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL\n\nI said a few hateful words saying how stupid she for giving away MY birthday present away for FREE when it wasn't cheap. She said I was in no position to tell her what she can and cant do as it was her kitchen and apparently HER STAND MIXER. I was done at that point and asked why would she even do something like that and her answer was.\n\nIt didn't fit in the kitchen since it was white, not black.\nI gave up at that point and went to sleep as I had nothing to do. And two weeks later she bought another stand mixer which was almost double the price same brand, same wattage but black. Now, since this wasn't my mixer I was not allowed to use it anymore, so now my mixer is gone and I cant even use the new one anymore\n\nI went on another spree of saying mean words to her and she teared up, my 3 siblings say I over reacted and now I feel guilty \nSo AITA\n(Sorry if this story was too long I had to get a lot of my chest since I was angry)\nEdit:cleared up a misconception ######","completion":" NTA That's just straight up theft. You should tell your uncle what she did. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.\n\nThis morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore. \n\nHe BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it. \n\nNow we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it. \n\nSo internet people, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA that's gross as fuck.\n\n1. He peed in a container used for food.\n2. He actively fucked with your ability to choose not to use that container in future.\n3. Has he considered wearing diapers since he's apparently not toilet-trained yet?\n4. If he's just whipping it out and pissing wherever he likes, how many piss splatter droplets are all over your house that you don't even know about? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hear me out. \n\nFor reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy. \n\nMy older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls. \n\nI live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.\n\nIn almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy\/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the \"I'll eat what makes me happy\" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all. \n\nFinally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault. \n\nWhat do you guys think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA that's child abuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.   \n\n\nWe opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress  and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)  \n\n\nThe laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.   \n\n\nI could go on, but I think you get the idea. \nEdit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.\n\nI took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence. \n\nHonestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?\n\nEdit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ######","completion":" NTA that's appalling, please do report it ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m fully aware having sex with any kind of protection isn’t 100% fool proof. But for me I personally don’t want to do birth control. I have terrible memory and it’s expensive- and I have no health insurance or regular medical provider so getting it would be a hassle to begin with.\n\nI prefer condoms + pull out method. I happIly buy the condoms. And for a while my bf seemed to be okay with it. But then he started going soft very easily and attributed it to the condoms. He hates them. Apparently he’s above average in thickness and length and nothing fits him right. He’s persuaded me several times to go raw with just the pull out method and he enjoys it a lot more. But I honestly can’t because in the back of my mind there’s his precum and possible pregnancy around the corner.\n\nWe’re both 20 and are in no way in any position to take care of a child. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just... forget having sex. If he has to have it raw... I just can’t do it. I have too many concerns to enjoy it.\n\nAITA..? ######","completion":" NTA that's a major flag. Tell him condom or no sex, if he has a problem tell him don't let the door hit you on your way out ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month know. We have gotten very emotionally close and slept together one time.\nLast night he texted me that he had something serious to tell me, something he should have told me before. I reassured him that he could trust me, and this exchange went back and forth for about half an hour. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to tell me.\n\nHe finally tells me that he was born intersex, and his parents decided for him to have surgery as baby. He said he has felt a lot of insecurity around it and was afraid I wouldn’t accept him. I was surprised and a little hurt that he wouldn’t have told me that before we slept together, but I was very kind and understanding in return because I have a friend who is intersex. It didn’t change how I felt about him. \n\nFinally he asks if he can call me. When he does he asks if he call tell me one more thing, “April fools”. I was pissed and told him that it’s not something funny to joke about. He has apologized in a genuine way, but I’m not over it. I feel like it was tasteless to joke about that, and he really made me have empathy for him and the joke crossed a line(especially since we have slept together). AITA for not getting over his joke? ######","completion":" NTA that's a bad prank. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.\n\nAfter talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on. \n\nMy sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank. \n\nThey both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.\n\nNone of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.\n\nAs for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.\n\nIf they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######","completion":" NTA that was what you were willing to do, they should be grateful. It’s understandable why you need your whole house. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more. \n\nI wear a 38\" waist in jeans and an XL\/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me. \n\nShe bought me jeans in a 28\" waist and tops in a medium.\n\nShe told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me. \n\nI mentioned once to her that when I was around 16\/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.\n\nShe never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me \"happy birthday you fat fuck\" lol..\n\n\nI think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway. \n\nOur sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her. \n\nI tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me. \n\n\nAm i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######","completion":" NTA that was just a nasty gift. She didn't even get you one thing that you could wear now for your birthday ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my friends are in college. We don't have that much money but it's enough and we aren't exactly poor. One day, we went out to eat and I said I'd pay for their meals because I was having a good day and felt like it. I ordered food for 10 Euros. 2 out of my 3 friends ordered a very expensive fish and together their food cost 80Euros. My other friend just got a burger and a sprite. I didn't really check the price of what they wanted to eat, because we were playing uno and I wasn't really paying attention. When the bill came, and I saw that their food + drinks was really expensive, I refused to pay for their food. I would have had enough money to pay, but I think that it's unacceptable to buy something so expensive when someone else is paying. We weren't even close friends, we met a few weeks ago and talked every 2 days. They ended up paying for their own food and I still payed for my other friends (Burger and a sprite) food. May I add that this was just a normal restaurant, basically everything else  was at a normal price. \n\nTLDR: I refused to pay for two friends meals because their food was way to expensive.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA that was incredibly rude to pick food that was quadruple the price of your food. If these are new friends I’d consider this a red flag regarding continuing these friendships. ######"}
{"prompt":"My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends. \n\nWhen it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day. \n\nOf course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her. \n\nBasically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.\n\nI felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######","completion":" NTA that was an abusive relationship going nowhere good. Also, the \"bro code\" is nothing more than a stupid by product of a sit com and it's ridiculous and kinda unrealistic. It almost ruined a group of friends I was involved in and my demand to abolish it saved us. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a month ago but I've still been arguing with my family about this. I was babysitting my 11 year old cousin and he had never seen the Lion King before, to my dismay as that was my favorite movie growing up. I thought I was doing him a favor, introducing him to a cultural masterpiece.\n\nTurns out he didnt care less and was playing on the iPad the entire time anyway. But where the problem arose was when I didnt think to skip over Mufasa's death scene??? Never in a million years did I actually think that was even a thing, but alas when his parents come to pick him up and ask what we did and I told them what we watched, they questioned me if I made sure to skip over that scene. I was like \"uhh.. huh?\"\n\nIt caused a huge scene and a big fight that still hasn't been resolved. I really didnt even say anything, it is mostly one sided about how I am so irresponsible and opening up their kid to that sort of violence is going to ruin his life. The most I said was \"this generation is going to grow up weird as fuck if you control every aspect of their life like this, what's next he is not allowed to ride bikes with his friends without you driving in your car next to them??\".\n\nI obviously would never tell someone how to raise their kid, but he is also 11..I'd understand their position more if he was like 4 or 5, but like he has definitely seen far worse at that age.. right? ######","completion":" NTA that scene is a watershed moment in childhood entertainment. It still fucks me up to this day. Kids absolutely need to see it. Plus the movie makes no sense without is. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse. \nSo this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up. \nWell this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week. \nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA That poor patient! It's hard enough needing to be a patient at a hospital without being verbally abused while there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.\n\nAm I the asshole for being angry at my sister?\n\nI apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ######","completion":" NTA that kind of information should be assumed private unless told otherwise. Especially with close family. Your sister knew better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Since getting engaged, my fiancé and I have been struggling to nail down the basics, including the venue and of course, the date. Our families both have pretty busy schedules and finding a date that suited both families and was in the reasonable future has been quite challenging. Fortunately, finally settled on January 30, 2021 (COVID permitting), one of the very few weekends that both our families are available to travel and attend our wedding.\n\nThe only slight conflict with the date is that my grandmother’s birthday is the following Tuesday, on February 2nd. My grandmother lives pretty far from my immediate family and myself, and even when I was growing up we didn’t celebrate her birthday beyond a phone call. However, since the wedding date we picked is so close to her birthday, my mom is insisting that we make our wedding reception a split party between our reception and my grandmother’s birthday party. She wants to have a separate cake for my grandmother beside the wedding cake and everything. I love my grandmother, but our wedding reception will also have my fiancé’s family, our college friends, and work friends in attendance who have never met my grandmother. None of her friends will be there and I feel like it would be weird to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of strangers. Also, not to be self centered, but I kind of want my wedding day to be about me and my fiancé, particularly since we’re the ones paying for the venue, food, and entertainment. I want my grandmother to feel celebrated and loved, but I also want to have my special wedding day.\n\nSo, AITA for telling my mother no and that we should celebrate my grandmother separately? I don’t want to be a bridezilla, so I’m willing to negotiate, but I just feel super weird about it. ######","completion":" NTA that is so weird. What does your grandmother think? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been talking about his interest in music and movies and he admits that he think men are better\/more interesting in movies and in music. They’re better writers, singers, musicians, etc. He doesn’t think women are incapable of being just as good as men or better, he just says he hasn’t found any female artists that impress him as much as men do. Which is upsetting enough I guess. But he also says the few female artists he does like, he won’t play when I’m around because he doesn’t want me to start playing more female artists all the time since he doesn’t like a majority of them. So obviously I’m pissed. I feel like he’s just manipulating when me he does that. Who’s the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA That is seriously messed up. Its fine if all his favorite artists are male, but its really dickish to take that 5 steps further to \"women aren't as good of artist or writers because I personally haven't found a work by a women I like as much as mans\" Thats the exact reason that we know JK Rowling as JK not Joann, and it is bullshit. \n\nAnd to say he wont play female artists around you just so you don't play the music you like, thats manipulative as hell. If you don't dump his ass I'd just constantly have my phone in my pocket blasting female power anthems every time we hung out. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything. \n\nI visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something. \n\nI came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was  14 and my brother was 22. \n\nI was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me. \n\nI’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ######","completion":" NTA that is really creepy. Think about how that boy's parents would feel if he was dating a 22 year old man. Really sick behavior, even if their relationship turned out to be positive; dont let it fool you, any sort of sexual relationship with a minor (not even a late minor a \"just hit puberty\" minor) is abusive and disgusting ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for insisting on using my sister's internet for one hour for a big job interview? Backstory: she had already said yes and it was planned and everything, now she just texted me that her boyfriend is going to be home unexpectedly so I basically need to find somewhere else. Her boyfriend and I have never had an argument or anything, he is just really possessive of her. And before you ask, he was like this before the current situation too. If I was over visiting her (rare occasions) I would have to leave before he got home just because he doesn't like other people there. I don't have any other options for internet for my interview since the city library is closed. Aita for telling her boyfriend to suck it up for an hour so I can get a good job? Edit:I also want to note i live in a very small town. No Starbucks or McDonald's or any other source of internet besides the city library which is closed. I would go somewhere else if I could but that would mean going to the next city (about 40 minutes away). I have very very few options here.\n\nEdit edit: wow I wasnt expecting to get this much response so quickly. So I'm going to add some things. \n\nYes I had bad vibes about their relationship before this but after reading all the input I definitely realize just how bad it is and will be working harder to try to help her with this any way I can. I've already sat down and we had a heart to heart convo. Thank y'all for opening my eyes to just how bad her situation is.\n\nI do have data to occasionally get on internet, like on Reddit, but it isn't a good enough signal to handle an hour long video conference interview. Luckily everything ended up working out okay. ######","completion":" NTA That is extremely unhealthy behavior he has and you should be very worried about your sister. Normal people do not act like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago, but my brain won't let this one go.\n\nSo I was hanging out with some friends. Two guys, one woman. We're all in our early 20s and have had our fair share of romance in life. The topic of sex popped up and we start talking about some of our past experiences. One guy joked about how having sex only made his dick bigger and bigger. We all laughed and he said that he wished that's how it works. My female friend (let's call her Sarah) piped up and said \"Yeah, for women, it's the complete opposite. The more sex you have, the bigger your labia gets and the looser you become.\" There were some chuckles, but then I asked her if she was serious. She said she was. \n\nNow, this is a big myth. I was surprised a woman who has had some experience actually believes that. I basically told her this, and then she started getting annoyed, asking \"how me and my dick knows about that\". I said the same way I know anything about female anatomy- I've read up on it. The whole \"women get looser\" thing is something sexist dudes made up to slut-shame women. My other friends were silent on this. She then just said: \"Whatever, I'm not in the mood for this kind of mansplaining.\"\n\nSo I'm at a loss here. AITA for explaining something that I feel like people should just know about? ######","completion":" NTA Thank you for trying to bust this myth. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my parents and I were talking about my future and I told them how I want to get married and have a few kids and that I already have names picked out. My mom told me ‘good luck’ and how she didn’t even get to name any of us kids that she birthed. She told me she wanted to name me *name* but her MIL was against it and was being sarcastic telling my mom she could just call me that on her own but my name would be what it is now and that it’s tradition for the mans parents to pick a name for your kid. I was annoyed by this but said I wouldn’t let that happen to myself or my kids and if I’m going to be carrying a baby for 9 long hard months and then birthing it out of me then id definitely be the one naming it along with my husband. Also apparently it’s tradition to not know your babies gender but like I said I’ll still know I just won’t tell anyone until it’s born. I’m pretty superstitious when it comes to the evil eye so I told them my pregnancy would be very discreet and lowkey and that no one would know I’m even going into birth until after I’ve had my baby. But they thought me insisting on naming my own child was rude and disrespectful to my future in laws. ######","completion":" NTA Telling you that you can't name your own child is a shitty, disrespectful tradition. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents divorced when I was 5, my dad remarried almost immediately (like within months after the divorce) and my mom remarried when I was 9 or 10 can't really remember.  My dad's wife had 4 kids who were at the time 7,5, 3 and 2 while I was 5 when we all moved in together.  Now I didn't live full time with them, I was half at my mom's half at their place and they were the same way and were only together for about 2 weeks out of the month.  It was not a good situation when we first moved in, everything from the time the youngest could walk was always a 4v1.  Every vote was always against mine, every argument with 1 became an argument with all 4, and some other stuff that made me really hate going over to my dad's if they were over.  While my mom's husband had a kid my age too I get along with her WAY better than I do the kids at my dad's house.  \n\nI was recently talking with my friend's while I'm at my dad's on the phone, my door was slightly open at the time.  My friend said something like \"I didn't know your brother was on the baseball team\".  I corrected him and reminded him that he is my step brother not my brother and we dropped the conversation and went on with the rest of the day. \n\nWhen I was done though, my dad told me to quit it with the step sibling stuff and to just call them my siblings.  I told him I'm just being literal in what they are, but he is practically forcing me to call them my brother and sisters now.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA tell your dad if they ever treated you like family then maybe you would speak about them differently. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I haven’t worn a bra in like 3 years, I’m only a B cup and I just find them uncomfortable. It’s not like I’m wearing see through shirts or anything but I guess yeah if you look you can see the outline of my nipple.\n\nI’ve been working at this job for almost two years and it’s never been an issue but yesterday an older coworker approached me and asked if I could start wearing a bra to work because she doesn’t like me “throwing my body around”. I basically told her yeah sorry but no, I don’t even own a bra and it’s not part of dress code from what I’ve ever noticed.\n\nShe huffed and walked off but now I’m about to head into my shift today and I’m getting anxious on if I’m in the wrong here. AITA for not wearing bras? ######","completion":" NTA tell her to stop looking at your boobs... ######"}
{"prompt":"We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y\/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me. \n\nShe was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.\n\nWhenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.\n\nOur group likes to do \"air kisses\" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has \"accidentally\" kissed my actual cheek. But she never \"accidentally\" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...\n\nRight before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.\n\nI'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.\n\nBut we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again. \n\nWill I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?\n\nTL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ######","completion":" NTA tell her to quit sexually harassing you ######"}
{"prompt":"About a year or so ago, my wife asked me for advice on how to invest her IRA contributions in the stock market. Note: she was very hesitant to take my advice, and thought investing was like betting, because she thinks it is the same thing as gambling. Without pressuring at all, she took my advice anyways on what to invest in (low to moderate risk stuff). She then proceeded to mention it to me nearly every time the market had a bad day in a very whiny and complaining voice. When I reached my limit in patience after numerous such complaints, I said this is making me feel guilty and responsible, and maybe we shouldn't talk about this, and you do what you want to do with your IRA funds ( i.e. if you want to sell, do what you want.)\n\nShe proceeds to get super defensive and say how it \"wasn't her intention\" to make me feel bad. Fast forward a few months to today, she again raises how she wants some more \"tips.\" I say I don't want to be involved at all. She then proceeds to get angry at me, including for bringing up the past incidents mentioned above, and continues to focus on \"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty\" as if that's the only thing that matters. I repeatedly say that it's not really about what you intended, it's about how you speak, the context, and how that can make me feel in light of that. Now she's in another room and we aren't talking.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA tell her to hire a financial advisor ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin had to make a delivery for work—8-10 hour drive or something like that. I told him he could crash at my place on his way back as it was about 4 hours closer than his house. When he got there, I told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen. He slept on the couch(I have a spare bed but that’s where he prefers I guess) and when I woke up the next morning for work he was surrounded by some trash and a few dirty dishes. \n\n\nI get home from work and there’s even more trash and dirty dishes surrounding him. I go to the kitchen and it’s been pretty much raided. All of my breakfast bowls(I had ) were gone, half the box of hot pockets was empty, both big bags of chips were eaten, 2 litre coke had barely any left, all of my oatmeal pies were gone(I only had 1), my box of protein waffles were gone, he even ate like 3 of my GF’s veggie burgers. \n\n\nHe was only here 1 night and 1 day! He arrived Thursday at around 10pm and left Friday at 5pm. Why did he need to eat that much??\n\n\nWhen I called him out he just said “dude what, you said I could eat anything” I said “yeah anything—not everything! I’m trying to limit my grocery store trips now I’ll have to go again this week. Come on dude, what the hell” he offered to give me money but I declined it. \n\n\nLater his mom called my mom and said when he got to her house  he was acting weird when she was asking about me. So my mom called me to ask for the details. I guess I pissed him off but was I really wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA take anything you want means dinner (and breakfast and lunch depending on how long they’re staying) and maybe a couple of snacks. He also broke the unspoken rule of don’t take the last of anything (at the very least ask first) and leave enough for the host\/whoever bought he food to have some too (that doesn’t mean 5 drops of soda that means at least 1 glass). ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) have been dating a 27 year old man for about three months now. The relationship is slow moving but nice- we see each other 1-2 times a week and generally have a great time together. Here's the issue. This dude teases me ALL the time. Constant ribbing kind of stuff, poking fun. I like the banter most of the time, and tend to do it right back. All is fun and games, except for the fact that this dude can dish it out like it's no one's business, but can NOT take it. He pokes fun at everything about me, even to the point where it's made me kind of upset. I've brought it up but it doesn't seem to faze him....but the moment I cross any imaginary perceived line on his side, he goes on like i'm some sort of roast master and that he only teases me in retaliation....which is completely not true, as he usually starts it.\n\nThe whole thing is really getting out of hand and is seriously making me question my own actions. For instance, he constantly comments on my outfits (making fun of floral prints, etc.) so when he showed up one day straight from four wheeling, I told him he looked like a barn yard animal and he lost his shit and immediately insulted what I was wearing. When I brought it up, he said he only insults my outfits because I do it to him. Last week we went to a party, and he made me a drink. It was really bitter, and I don't like bitter drinks. I was really tispy, so I apparently kept bringing it up at the table jokingly and asking for sugar. He hasn't talked to me for days and is PISSED that I \"purposefully embarrassed him in front of our friends...\" coming from the same man who refused to try my cake later that night out of spite. Once I realized I had hurt his feelings by insulting his drink so many times, I apologized a lot and said I would stop the ribbing and watch what I say...but I can't help but feel gaslighted. So what do you think Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA sweetie. Dump this man like the trash he is. If he cant respect you enough to understand his comments have gone too far and then tries to gaslight you into thinking *you* started things, then he doeant deserve to be in a relationship as that's very abusive behaviour. Run from this abusive immature idiot before it's too late! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (m,23) have zero tolerance for people who are late. I have been dating a girl (22) for a few months now. She is always late, usually 5-10minutes but sometimes 15-20minutes. It drives me nuts but I dont say much. Yesterday we had a date, she did not show up I was calling her but she was not picking up the phone. After a while I decided to go back home. After 50mins she calls me and says she went to the beauty salon to get her hair done so thats why she was not able to pick up the phone and she was late. She went really mad when told her that I already left. She called me AH, because she spent all the time to look beautiful to me but I did not wait and just left. So, AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA Stop dating this girl, she doesn't respect you or your time. Very selfish. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m my homes Cinderella basically. No, my family isn’t abusive. But all the chores in my house are given to me. Everyone else is exempt from picking up after themselves...I must do it for them. If I’m sick and can’t do it, no one will do it. If I don’t feed the dog, no one will do it. Giant spill on the counter? Whoever did it won’t clean it up. I have to do it. \n\nMy sister is the worst out of the 3 people in my family. She will cook something and leave the scraps of food all over the kitchen all day. There’s so much clutter all over the counters there’s no room for anything. Day after day I have to clean it. \n\nI’ve mentioned this to my parents and they don’t give a fuck. My parents are very lazy tbh and if it’s not their problem or if it doesn’t affect them they don’t care. They are so easy on my sister who can do whatever she wants, when she wants. She’s 17 and I’m 22. I’ve asked her to contribute and clean up after herself but she just whines. \n\nSo today she made a salad. There’s lettuce all over the counter, chopped tomatoes on the floor, and dirty dishes left all over the table. So I took her mess and her dishes and put it on her room on her floor so she’d finally clean it. She freaked out and asked why it was there and I said “because it’s your mess and if you keep refusing to clean up after yourself, I’ll move the mess to your room so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s ready to be cleaned whenever you are!” \n\nShe flipped out and told my parents I messed up her room and they got upset with me saying that I’m causing drama in the house and that my sister is bored being in the house all day and doesn’t need this stress. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Stop cleaning up after them. I guess you should keep feeding the dog but stop everything else. Everyone else needs to pull their own weight. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k\/year)\n\nWhile at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”\n\nMy husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him? \n\ninfo: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours\/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ######","completion":" NTA Stimulus checks are to help boost the economy and get out of a tight spot. Not a way to have to pay back a father who wasn't forced to pay for a kids living expenses and tuition past 18. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt. \n\nSo anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent.\n\nAt this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell. \n\nWas he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ######","completion":" NTA Steve was taking advantage of your girlfriend. It is generally considered good to protect a friend or partner who is not sober from people who might take advantage of them in that state. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(16m) have two younger brothers. One is 7. And to put it simply he is addicted to the PS4, specifically fortnite. He hounds our parents for money for Vbucks and has to have the PS4 constantly or he throws a fit. Or he sits in the room when someone else is on it and just trash talks. So basically I’m getting the PS5 when it releases for my good grades\/Christmas and because he keeps throwing a fit My mother is considering getting him his own PS4. I’m the only one who doesn’t deal with his crap and he knows it. So when I heard she was considering it my first thought was OMFG you can’t be serious. She hates the fact I don’t want to have anything to do with him because of how he treats me and he has lied to cause issues for me and most of the time she takes his side. Yes she takes the word of the 7 year old over the 16 year old. I just don’t know what to do anymore. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA start recording this stuff and talk to them. Print out signs of gaming addiction show and highlight behaviors that match say your concerned what's happening and that your brother needs help. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an artist and I found a following online. I'm starting to make some serious cash for what I do and it's been helping me save up so I can finally move out of my parent's place.\n\nDue to the quarentine, this has basically become my full time job which means I spend a large portion of the day in my room. I also work well into the night since there are fewer distractions, so I tend to sleep in until 10 each day.\n\nI don't neglect home responsablilties and I do come down for a few hours each day. However my mom wants me to be down as often as she is and wake up much earlier too. No matter how much I tell her about what I do she doesn't understand that I actually work, and that my success hinges on my output.\n\nShe says that I'm just neglecting her feelings. That I'm just using this art thing as an excuse to avoid her and be lazy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA Sounds like your mother needs a hobby and some friends. If she needs you for serious reasons like medical needs, you gotta be available for that but other stuff should be able to wait, as if you were actually away from home and not there to do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousins \"James\" and \"Lydia\" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest \"Grace\" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family. \n\nWhen we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole \"Wow, you're so big!\" thing and asked Lydia, \"Is she walking yet?\" Lydia very harshly snapped, \"No. But nothing is wrong with her.\" Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was \"Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less.\" That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.\n\nI recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA sounds like your cousin is overly sensitive. It’s a normal question which doesn’t need an apology at all. Unless the baby is three years old, asking “are they walking yet, talking yet, sleeping through the night yet” are all normal questions. ######"}
{"prompt":"So about 5 weeks ago, this girl and I matched on tinder, and we both really liked each other! From then on,  we have been chatting, pretty much nonstop, throughout lockdown over Instagram. \n\nYesterday, she told me we were too different and she wouldn't be able to date me (crushing). She did say, however, that she really wanted to remain just as close, text as often as we do, and remain friends, to the extent that we hang out irl once lockdown has ended. \n\nInitially, I was quite hurt because I really did like her but accepted that we try and be friends. I did this because I did really like texting her.\n\n However, throughout the day we've been texting just as much and flirting to the same extent. Although I enjoy it, I don't think its sustainable, because I feel like shit texting her, knowing she doesn't want anything other than friendship. I get pits in my stomach texting her when I think about it.\n\nAITA because I'm throwing away this friendship because it's not leading to something romantic (which is why I started it in the first place) ######","completion":" NTA sounds like she's leading you on and keeping you around as a fallback crush. Don't waste your time. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father and his family lost their home and had no place to live. He has a teenage son, my half brother, who is 15 and a known smoker. Because they had nowhere else to go, I offered them to stay at our other house we usually rent out to other people. The house is situated within our property, just next to our home. \n\nPrior to my dad moving in, my mother and my sister moved in with us 6 months ago after my stepdad passed away. \n\nWe have many spare bedrooms in our home so them moving in wasn't a problem. . \n\nThis is where the conflict arises :\n\nI don't charge rent from my mom. I don't let her cook. I cook for 5 people in our home (my husband, my mom, my toddler and my sister). It's just my way of looking out for my mom because that's what she did for me when I was young and struggling. She raised me as a single mother for years.. \n\nMy dad has a problem with this because I am charging him and his wife the same rent I charge other tenants (it's a well furnished house). He thinks I'm playing favourites between parents because I don't charge my mom any money. He thinks he should pay less rent as compared to other tenants because I'm his daughter.\n\n Apparently, he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he charged me rent the one time when I was very sick and had to move in with him and his wife when I was in college. I had a part time job, and struggled to pay my bills with my illness. I wasn't shown any consideration. \n\nHe also has a problem because my husband doesn't help him out with his groceries. He is older now, 71 and thinks we should be the one getting him his groceries. We don't think so, his wife is 50 and he has a young son. They can be the ones doing the grocery shopping if he's to fragile to move around. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA sounds like a case of “you reap what you sow” ######"}
{"prompt":"So my brother is a twitch streamer he isnt huge but he averages around 100 to 150 concurrent viewers during stream. He does it full time while going to college. When he streams I(14M) use it as background noise and normally lurk. Today I decided to say something in chat and he ignored it which whatever streamers ignore messages all the time but I talked in chat every couple minutes. Never brought up any affliction with him never said he was my brother I was just acting like a normal viewer. He then went on a bathroom break for the stream and went and knocked on my door telling me to stop talking in his twitch chat. I asked why and he said becuase my mods on my stream know who you are. I asked why that's a problem I am friends with one of his mods none of them said anything about me being there. Well he went back to his room and went back to streaming. I then said something in chat and he muted me for 48 hours. Am I missing something here? I didnt ask for mod. I didnt bring up that I was his brother so people in his chat would pay attention to me I just watching a stream like i would any other stream. ######","completion":" NTA sorry lil dude, idk what the hells  up with your brother. If I ever stream I hope my siblings watch but that’s just me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######","completion":" NTA some people are just so scared of being racist they get ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \nMy sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile. \n\nMy husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around? \n\nWell due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding. \n\nHere’s where I feel like TA. \nI informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present. \nThis information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me. \n\nI’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA So much not the asshole and she so much is the asshole that I worry that you have to ask this, as you seem to have gotten used to a high degree of assholeness from her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away. \n\nLong hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids\/husband\/parents and I suffered. \n\nI managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first. \n\nAlthough Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor  (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”. \n\nTheir “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement &amp; my kids’ schools have had to get involved. \n\nI just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars. \n\nPastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass. \n\nStep-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship &amp; Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both. \n\nStep-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass. \n\nI maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now. \n\nWho’s TA here? ######","completion":" NTA so many times.   \nI'm very sorry for everything you had and have to go through. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few days ago, a bunch of people had gotten nudes of my girlfriend. I hadn't found out about it until my friend had showed me that he had gotten one. Obviously, I confronted my girlfriend about this, who seemed pretty upset. Apparently she had been trying to send a picture to someone, misclicked, and accidentally sent the nude instead. The person she sent it to in question ended up sharing it with a bunch of people. At least, that was her reasoning for it.\n\nObviously, I got really angry. First of all, she needs to be more careful, and second of all, why does she even have nudes of herself on her phone?! She never sends me nudes so I feel like the only real explanation was that she was going to send nudes to other people anyway. Admittedly, I lost my cool a little, and I yelled at her and called her a cheater.\n\nShe didn't speak to me for two days, until I confronted her again. She told me that she was really upset that I was so angry over a small \"mistake\". I don't think my reaction was that unreasonable considering she did send nudes to other people but I'd like a second opinion. ######","completion":" NTA so many people in the comments are turning this into a \"you don't own her body she can take nudes of herself as much as she wants\" \"why aren't you mad at the guy who shared them\" *when that clearly isn't the discussion here*. Your girlfriend should file a police report against the guy as it's definitely against the law to share someones naked pictures without their consent.\n\nI find it very VERY suspicious that she accidentally sent a nude to someone, and even more suspicious that that person is a male, and even more suspicious that she didn't tell you right away.\n\nIt might be too late now but your first reaction when you found out should have been to tell her to show you the conversation with him. If the messages were flirty then it was obviously on purpose, if the messages were like memes or about work or whatever then maybe not. If she did it on accident then surely the first message after the nude would be something along the lines of “OH MY GOD, I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND THAT” **The fact that she didn't volunteer to show you her message history with this guy right after she found out you knew tells me she did it on purpose.**\n\nI'm sorry bro but I'm pretty sure she did that shit, and you shouldn't be with someone like that. If you need to be sure then reach out to the guy she sent it to and ask him to screenshot the convo. I know it's fucked up because he's the only 100% established asshole here, but at least you could get some closure.\n\n[EDIT] oh and everyone in this sub, keep this same gullible energy when the next boyfriend is caught sending dick pics to some girl and she exposes him. “babe i swear, it was an accident!!” ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago but I’m still hearing about it in the family group chat. \n\nCouple months ago my sister in law found out she was pregnant and her views on pregnancy and motherhood (as well as other things) are really strange, at least to me. For instance, the shape of a belly (mild) and how boys and girls should be raised (stereotypes all around). Then as her pregnancy progressed she made her views on birthing very clear: anyone who has a c-section is not fit to be a mother. \n\nI was very confused because I was born via c-section and so was my oldest. I asked her why does she think so, she said that it was the easy way out and a mother should feel the pain for her baby, be one with the baby, and all that. My partner (their sibling) reminded her that I went through a c-section and SIL said, “well, my point still stands, doesn’t it? No offense (my name) but you are a bit absent in your oldest’s life. Is your career really that worth it?” \n\nMe not being a stay at home mom has been a bit of a heated argument with this family for a while. My mil and a couple of the other sister\/brother (it’s a big family) in laws haven’t been okay with it. My partner has no issue with it and either do some of the other in laws, and now she’s brought it up again! \n\nSo I told her the truth about her pregnancy: she doesn’t know who the father is. She keeps seeing her ex despite being with her current boyfriend of about 2 years. There’s not special about either one of them but she claims that she “just can’t quit him,” the other guy. Honestly wanted to barf. \n\nShe got super angry with me and threw a wooden spoon at me. She then stormed out and I got the brunt of it from the others. It’s still happening in the group chat and my father in law is asking if I could just apologize and get it over with since her due date is happening soon. I’m not that interested in apologizing but if you guys think I am I’ll do it. It’s much better to hear about it from a non family member ######","completion":" NTA SIL deserves much worse imo. Since the family is pressuring you to apologise, are they also pressuring SIL to apologise? ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and I had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, but the past 5 years or so has been great and we talk on the phone almost every day. \n\nYesterday at 4 I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and she was short with me from the beginning. I asked her how she was and she admitted she was sad that she spent all day waiting for me to call. I explained that I had been busy, and I was worried earlier when I had free time that she would be sleeping. I spent about 5 minutes trying to talk with her, but she just kept giving me one word answers or not responding at all. At the very end when I gave up and asked to speak to my dad, she gave me a sarcastic \"Oh, of course you want to talk to dad.\" \n\nI thought things would be okay with a little time, but late last night I realized that I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. I didn't make a big post. I just changed the status, and even though it's viewable to friends, it's not showing up on everyone's timeline so it has gotten minimal attention. We've been married for months (a small ceremony with just us, our pastor, and the couple that mentored us) and all our close family and friends already know, but it's news to old high school and college friends, for example. \n\nI woke up this morning to multiple messages from my mom written in the middle of the night about how could I be so hurtful, why do I have time for Facebook but not her, why couldn't I send her a card or a gift or do something special for one day, why did Mother's Day have to be the day I made the big announcement, etc.. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA shes being ridiculous and is having these lofty exectations. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 18 years old, and when I tell people my parents are assholes they usually dismiss me as another spoiled bratty college student. \nExcept over the past two years I've come to realize how toxic they are. \n\nThey're the type that turns me into the black sheep of the family whenever I have a different opinion or value from them. They never talk it out, just fight about how childish I am and how they thought I was better than that (Example: My position on abortion). \n\nThey constantly use degrading actions and terms to try to get me to do what they want. I'm 167lbs (75kg) and 5'9\" and they constantly call me a pig or say nobody would ever date me because they want me to get thinner. I exercise and I try to eat healthy, but once a month a girl wants a freaking chocolate bar and then if they see it it just turns into a 40 minute speech about how gross I am. It also frustrates me that they don't live up to what they preach. \n\nI can never talk to them for more than 10 minutes without them starting a fight or criticizing me which is why I always stay locked in my room.\n\nBut here's the thing, financially they sacrificed so much for me. I'm aware that providing financial support doesn't mean that they're good parents, but they've fed me and given me decent life. My mother bought me a trip to Egypt last summer and it was great. My father paid for my braces for 5 years while he had a broken tooth all that time. But having a relationship with them is eating my mind away, specially since I lost my job  and they use money as way to control me.\n\nThey don't care for themselves and choose to care for me and I don't want to dishonor all they've given me, but they've been one of the main reasond I've had intense panic attacks and developed Depersonalization Disorder. AITA for planning on moving far away from them and then cutting off contact completely? ######","completion":" NTA shelter and food is what they signed up for when they chose to make you,they had to do that, don't let them verbally abuse you for that ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m pregnant with my fourth baby. My older sister and her partner who aren’t pregnant yet (not trying yet either) but plan to fall pregnant at some point this yr asked me tonight if I have any baby names. I said not really yet, because I don’t want opinions. My sister jokingly said “yeh ok, you never tell me anything” so I reluctantly said “well I do have a boys name chosen, it’s Henry” \n\nStraight away her fiancé said “no can’t have that one, that’s my dads name” his dad past a few yrs ago. I get it, that name means something to them but I don’t think that means he can tell me I can’t use it. I said “ well sorry it’s the only name we like” \nI even said that they can both be Henry. My sister said “don’t worry I think she is having a girl anyway” \n\nI have two boys already. I struggled badly to find names for them- my oldest wasn’t named for two weeks. This time I fell in love with the name Henry almost immediately. I will be finding out my NIPT results in a few days. I feel like I’m likely to have a boy more so than another girl as I have two boys. \n\nAfter his comment I overheard them talking about it- made me feel so awkward and if I’m honest- pissed off! This is why I didn’t want to tell them names. I also should add that my little sister is also pregnant. She has found out she is having a girl and when she told my older sister that they are thinking they will call her Frankie. My older sister apparently said “oh that’s my name for a girl” she told my little sister that she could “have” the name. \n \nWIBTA if I name my baby Henry? ######","completion":" NTA she’s not even pregnant and they can’t guarantee it’s going to be a boy. Also, that’s very strange how this sister somehow has names picked out that both you and your little sister want to use.... ######"}
{"prompt":"So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free. \nSo AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ######","completion":" NTA she’s honestly being greedy, asking months later is also petty as fuck. My uncle makes more money than the rest of our family but he gives regular gifts and I’m just grateful for anything I’d never pull a “I know you have cash give me some! You owe me for my birthday” ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend \"bought\" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ######","completion":" NTA she’s a theif ######"}
{"prompt":"I had no idea she was a single mother. Even still, her snide daily remarks in the office were getting on my nerves, so good riddance. For two years I rode a bicycle to my office. I'm talking full gear, spandex, elbow guards, helmet, just the works. After locking my bike I walk into my office, still in full bike gear, and change clothes in the men's bathroom. A forty nine year old woman with a rat-like swarthy face and cuntish demeanor never misses her morning opportunity to comment on my man buns, which I find enraging but it's impossible to avoid her wrath because her cubicle is adjacent to the hall in which the only men's bathrooms are located. The whole office hears her squawking but because I also have a man bun style of haircut, it was always ambiguous enough not to draw heat since NICE MAN BUNS could be referring to my hair because she also has a stupid foreign accent and a rather fat unshapely bottom herself. Well, since March we've been working remotely for obvious reasons, and she posted a snide comment in our Skype for Office group chat in a team meeting. She outlined that she misses my steaming man buns strutting around the office, still sweaty from my morning bike ride. I instantly sent a screenshot of her words along with the wink 😉 face to the HR department filing a sexual harassment claim, and she was gone from the group chat the next day and I couldn't look her up in the internal Microsoft Outlook company directory, and then someone told me she was terminated and can't find a job, and also that she's a single mother. Woops. Am I an asshole for getting this woman fired for commenting on my ass cheeks? ######","completion":" NTA She’s a grown woman who needs to learn how to conduct herself in the workplace. You didn’t get her fired, she got herself fired. ######"}
{"prompt":"For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.\n\nSo on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad. \n\nSo we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat. \n\nShe then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.\nThis was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her. \n\nOn the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming. \n\nFor context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ######","completion":" NTA she's probably just jealous of your relationship with your dad. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15f) am getting tired of my sister (20) constantly stealing my stuff, mostly my art supplies. My supplies was a couple of pallets and paint brushes, I paid for all of these myself, I don’t have a job yet so it’s hard for me to buy new supplies so I use my supplies cautiously. \n\nIt started when I was using my paint supplies on a project that I had to finish. My sister was playing with my niece. I left to go to the bathroom and feed my cat and when I came back, she stole one of my pallets and excessively stacked paint all over it. She was also using my most delicate\/expensive paint brushes. I quickly grabbed the paint brush away and I got pissed off and yelled at her for grabbing my stuff. She quickly tried to make me a bad person for “ruining her bonding time” with her niece (even though she was the one painting and not my niece).\n\nI left to go clean up my brushes and when I came back, she started painting that same pallet on top of my project and let my niece use a sheet of paper to paint. This time, she took out her own box of paints and brushes. She used her own brushes for her and my niece, but continued to use my paints.\n\nI took away my stuff and put them in my box and my sister tried to make me the bad person by saying that “niece just wanted paint” and “I wouldn’t let niece use my stuff”.\nI would have gladly let them paint with my pallets if they just asked, but they didn’t\n\n\nNote: my sister has her own money to be able to buy her own stuff and has 3x more supplies than I do. ######","completion":" NTA She's perfectly allowed to share her own art supplies with anybody she wants. She does not get to claim yours are community property. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (25M) girlfriend (25F) of a year and a half just moved into my apartment two or three weeks ago.\n\nShe usually orders takeout, but last night she decided she wanted to start cooking for herself. \n\nI walk into the kitchen and see she has a piece of raw chicken in the sink, so I ask her not to do that since it'll get bacteria on the sink and anything else that goes in there. Instead of taking it out and using the bowl I sat next to her, she picks it up and turns on the faucet trying to wash it, as I saw my life flashing before my eyes, splashing water all over the place, and I say you're not supposed to wash chicken because it spreads bacteria, as she says \"what bacteria?\". She then takes one hand off of the chicken and uses it to turn off the faucet, the whole time I'm saying she could have gotten salmonella all over the sink\/counter\/faucet as she takes the chicken to my cutting board table I use to cut fruit, places the chicken down, and walks over to the fridge (without washing her hands), opens it with her still wet hand, as she starts rummaging through the fruit\/vegi drawer.  I tell her she's going to have to wash the handle now and any think else she touched because that could become a breeding ground for bacteria as she yells \"stop pissing me off and just leave me alone, I guarantee you any chicken you've eating at a restaurant was made the same way \". So I did. \n\nI went to the bedroom and an hour later I hear her eating and talking on facetime when she tells the person how \"I went psycho over some f\\*cking chicken\", \"followed her around telling her how to cook her own dinner\" and how I \"need a reality check\".\n\nI feel like ass for bringing it up since she was only trying to cook herself dinner, and I'm not generally a germaphobe, but this is just one of those things.\n\nAITA\/a germaphobe psycho who needs to chill? ######","completion":" NTA She's going to get food poisoning or give it to both of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a tiny hole in my wall right above my bed. My girlfriend (17, im 18) absent-mindedly was scratching it and i jokingly said \"haha don't scratch my wall off\" thinking she'd stop. She didn't. She kept scratching it and i said something like \"im serious please don't break my wall\" as the hole was getting bigger. She kept on doing it though so I was a little upset because like ?? its my wall lol and i directly asked her to stop breaking it. Then she got defensive and completely shut me out and is now sulking on her phone. AITA?\n\nedit: misspelled a word ######","completion":" NTA she's an asshole who doesn't respect you or your home ######"}
{"prompt":"My [18M] close friend [18F] is someone I have always found attractive (in addition to being fun to hangout with). I didn't think I had a chance with her and didn't want to ruin the friendship so I hadn't made any moves. \n\nShe sent me a picture of herself completely naked on snapchat captioned \"I want you\". I was stunned and super excited. I took a picture of myself naked. After the picture was taken but before I sent it, I saw she had sent another message to me. I sent the picture before reading the message.\n\nThe message said \" Omg that was obviously meant for the girl I've been talking to\". She then opened my picture. She then called me a pervert saying she didn't want to see that. She said its disrespectful. I explained I thought she wanted me but she said that picture was obviously not meant for me. Now she is mad and is \"taking a step back\" from the friendship. ######","completion":" NTA she was the one that sent a completely unsolicited nude, you were under the impression from that that that's what you guys were doing ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, context before you guys hate me: my parents are quite wealthy but I (F24) left home when I was 17 because they didn't agree with my career\/life choices and I worked a lot to support myself for a few years until they recently accepted my choices and started helping me as I went back to school to pursue my dream degree and only work part time. I still pay for most of my expenses because I have a nice job where I've been for three years but my parents now do give me a small sum of money to cover school expenses. I am aware that I am very privileged but the money my parents give me is only for school things only and everything else I pay with the money I earn myself.\n\nNow, tonight we were at a house party and it was getting late (about 3am) and I decided I'd take a cab home because I was wearing a rather short dress and didn't feel safe walking home although it was only a 20 minute walk to my place. My friend said that I was a spoiled rich b\\*tch because I could afford to take a cab home while she had to walk longer to her place.\n\nIt did piss me off because she doesn't work although I did already offer her to get a position at my job after she dropped out of university and now pretty much lives of social welfare.\n\nSo I told her that if she had a job, she could afford to take a cab home and she got really pissed. A few of our friends also thought I was really rude while some others said I was right but probably shouldn't have said that in front of everyone.\n\nI felt that I was justified as she did try to embarrass me in front of everyone and is constantly criticizing how much money I spend on things every time we got out and complaining about how she can't do the same while she's not even trying to better her life. So, was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA she was nasty to you first. Don't dish it if you can't take it. ######"}
{"prompt":" My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.\n\nThen she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).\n\nAnyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.\n\nSo Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA she was just hangry. ######"}
{"prompt":" This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about \"forgetting something\" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA she stole and there were consequences. You had nothing to do with it. Her pregnancy doesn’t make it your fault ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident? \n\nTLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ######","completion":" Nta she picked the sharpest knife to stab you with. You will struggle to ever be able to open up to her again. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nBefore I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWe've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.  \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA she needs to work this out herself and live within her means.\n\nHer expecting you to bail her out when there are realistic other options is a red flag and something you should consider moving forward.\n\nGood luck on your deployment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).\n\nSo I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).\n\nSo my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.\n\nThat's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual \" I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry\" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said  \"sure\" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said \" I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?\" and she lit up thinking she could win again.\n\nLong story short I beat her 40-2\n\nShe ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo Reddit AITA ######","completion":" NTA she needs to learn ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA She moved it out of reach and got mad at you for pointing it out? Makes no sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling\/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA she is being passive aggressive, ignore her.\nShe is an adult and can express what she wants when she wants it, it she doesn’t too bad. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 5. She is currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first child and we have been excited.\n\nMy MIL and wife have been always been close, MIL raised my wife as a single mom. MIL was also raised by a single mom. MIL actually didn’t tell my wife’s dad that she existed and to this day, he doesn’t know. My wife has no interest in knowing her dad so she says it’s just not a huge deal. I respect her wishes, but it has lead to issues with the pregnancy. MIL and I had a decent relationship until my wife got pregnant. Even before she got pregnant, MIL would always say, “When (wife) gets pregnant, if you leave, I will be there for her.” And since we told her, it’s been a reoccurring theme. It has been made clear by MIL if I can’t take it  and leave her daughter, she will take my place and parent my child. I have no plans on leaving my wife or my child. \n\nAnd really, the whole thing has driven me crazy. My wife has said “I know you’re not leaving” but she says her mom feels that they know best with pregnancy and child rearing. I am worried about being pushed out of this child’s life and that it’s a wish of MIL that I will just up and leave, so she can swoop in and be the child’s dad. I have told MIL I’ll never leave but she says “you don’t know how hard it’ll be”. \n\nRecently, we were on Zoom and MIL said something to the effect of her being the dad if I left. I told her no, I’m not and she needs to cut it out. She said, I won’t get how hard it is until the baby’s born, etc, etc. I said “yes and that’s just what you want, for your daughter to be abandoned and sad, that’s pretty sadistic.” This offended MIL and apparently my wife too. Apparently I don’t understand that MIL has abandonment issues because her dad left her. I said I sympathize but she cut one man out of knowing his kid (my wife’s dad and her) and now is doing the same. They are painting me as the devil here.\n\nAm I being the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA she is assuming that you are leaving, if this is a recurring pattern. And this is not okay. It undemines your and your wifes thinking. And it doenst matter if she is doing that on purpose or not. \n\nAlso what is when the child is born and she will constantly tells the child that she will be there if you are not. Maybe she will go so far to blame you for everything you do wrong with the child. A lot of potential for future drama here ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######","completion":" NTA She is a liar.  You cannot count on her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so backstory here\nI live with my friend in his house and rent from him, due to lots of previous personal experiences his ex dosen't like me, one bit, she despises me. He and his ex are kinda friends, they hang out every once in awhile while I'm at work. I don't really care, I don't talk to her, I don't associate with her. She is literally insane, broke down when she saw my fish in the living room, insisted I don't belong in the house, etc. My friend had to defend me. She has stalked my social media for months and put together a whole notebook of my posts, she has gone around spreading lies and rumors about me and cost me a lot of close relationships and loved ones who turned on me. I've gotten over all of this through much pain and forgiveness. \n\nSo I log onto my switch me and my friend both split half and half, we each paid half for it. I see a new profile with her name. I think \"ok whatever\", I go to log onto animal crossing to play with my friend for a bit. I see a random new tent, I think it's a new little resident at first. My friend points out it has a mailbox and is pink on the map. I read the username. Its my friends ex who has now set up her tent on my animal crossing island. Neither of them asked me, I bought that game 100% myself. \n\nSo I deleted her account off the switch and from my ac game. AITA? I don't want her in my life, I don't want to see her, talk to her or hear about her. My friend can hang out with her if he chooses, it's his life. But I don't need her in mine. ######","completion":" NTA she hates you but is happy to use your things? Also it takes like 1 hour to upgrade from the tent so it's not like you ruined a lot of progress ######"}
{"prompt":"Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.\n\nMy parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.\n\nE is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this) \n\nAt first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals.  She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.\n\nShe adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.\n\nShe adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly\n\nShe adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.\n\nShe had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.\n\nThe list is endless, you probably get the deal.\n\nWell, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.\n\nI raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved. \n\nWell, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.\n\nSo Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ######","completion":" NTA she has an animal hoarding problem, you need to call someone to save what's left of those poor animals. She will just keep collecting animals and they'll keep dying in her care. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before covid, still a problem.\n\nMy daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.\n\nAnyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.\n\nWhen I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home. \n\nWe had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.\n\nThen he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.\n\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA She had a headache. And even if she was exaggerating, what’s the problem if she hardly misses school? Honestly sometimes I let mine stay home just because they don’t feel going to school that day. Kids need a break sometimes. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my younger sister (19) got engaged to her boyfriend on February 20th. This came as a shock to my whole family because they were only dating about two weeks. That event alone caused a lot of drama and my sister was very upset about the lack of support and excitement. I tried being there for her and gave her a gentle nudge to maybe have a long engagement. Now just last week my (24f) boyfriend (25m) of three years proposed. We waited until last night to tell all of our family members over FaceTime and oh man did shit hit the fan. My sister was livid and accused me of trying to take the spotlight away from her. She claimed her boyfriend obviously loved her more since he proposed before mine and that I was just jealous. She was also pissed at my family for being more supportive of my engagement and was posting all over social media about having toxic family. I guess I didn’t really think about how close our announcements were so I can kind of see her point but I wasn’t thinking how she thinks I was. My fiancé and I have been talking about marriage for a year now and apparently he’s had the ring for months.\n\nAITA? Or maybe just insensitive? ######","completion":" NTA she got engaged a month and a half ago. Thats more than enough time to have passed to announce your engagement \n\nYour family isn’t supportive of her relationship because its dumb to get engaged after two weeks together. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.\n\nAITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######","completion":" NTA she gets to dictate what she eats, not what you eat. You seem very respectful, but she doesn't. Why does it matter if your the one eating it? She should respect your right to make decisions for yourself, just as you have done for her. Also it isn't like you tried to get her to eat it! ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a bit of a complicated one I think, but I will accept my judgment.\n\nI love and have always had cats, and I recently got engaged to a wonderful man. We've lived with a roommate who had a cat for a while and my fiance encouraged me to leave when the situation got toxic, telling me we could get a cat when we moved.\n\nWe're in the final stages of adopting a cat and his father is upset with us because his older sister is extremely allergic to cats and has a history of allergies and asthma attacks.\n\nShe does, however, also have a history of lying about allergic reactions as an excuse to get out of social situations (and lies quite often about her health to get out of other things), so we're not sure how bad her allergies really are.\n\nI guess we're just wondering if it would be wrong to bring an cat into our own home if we take steps to avoid it? We're extremely conflicted. We're not opposed to showering and washing our clothes before seeing her, but she would be extremely offended if we brought cats into our home. She's allergic to most animals so we'd struggle to adopt a dog or bird either.. \n\nIdk. Please pass your judgment :(this is hard ######","completion":" NTA she doesnt live with you, adopt a kitty :) ######"}
{"prompt":"After I was born, my parents, who were drug addicts and have been arrested prior for petty crimes, we're seemed unfit parents and when I was an infant my grandparents were awarded full custody. \nI'm sixteen years old and my grandparents are practically my whole world. They have told me many times that if I wanted to reconnect with my mother and father that it was my decision and that they'd support me 100%, but I never wanted to. \n\nMy Mother recently reconnected with my grandparents (I've refused to talk to her) and she said she wanted to have at least partial custody of me. She also threatened that if my grandparents didn't help her resolve the situation peacefully, she was going to take them to court, and that's what ended up happening. Fortunately, since it was found that she wasn't in the position to care for me, and since I didn't want to live with her (my birth father, apparently, died a few years ago) she didn't get any custody or visitation.\n\nRight when we were leaving the courthouse, the last time I saw her, she told me I was selfish for not letting my grandparents live the rest of their lives son peace without having to care for an ungrateful grandson. It hurt and so I stormed off, but I've been thinking about it ever since- am I TA for not letting my grandparents enjoy their silver years? ######","completion":" NTA she doesn’t just get to roll up into your life and demand to be your ‘mother’. She chose her path many years ago. \n\nIf your ‘mother’ was so concerned about her parents living in peace she wouldn’t be dragging them to court to get custody of a child she conveniently remembers she has and wants custody of after 16 years ######"}
{"prompt":"So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people. \n\nAnother problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying. \n\nToday I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer. \n\nWhen I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me. \n\nNow she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here. \n\nShe responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc. \n\nOnce again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole. \nThe thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly.  I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law. \n\nI'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language) \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA she doesn't just get her way because she's old. There are rules that need to be followed and no one is allowed to sit there anyways. On a normal day I'd say let the lady sit down but this isn't a normal time in the world. You protected yourself and her even if she didn't like it. ######"}
{"prompt":" I have a 16 year old daughter, who has recently begun her first real relationship. He’s a nice boy and I like him a lot, though I get the impression his family is much more conservative than I am. His parents wanted to meet my husband and I so we had them over for dinner last night and I did get some judgy vibes from the mother at least. My daughter is not my husband’s child. We went on vacation once with my former best friend and after a night of drinking we decided to switch partners. My husband had a vasectomy before I met him, so when I got pregnant I knew who the father was.\n\nMy daughter does know her bio dad, but he choses not to be a big part of her life. She has a great relationship with my husband, but she calls him by his first name. He never wanted kids and I was afraid he’d leave me, so out compromise was that I don’t ever expect him to be a real parent to her. I’m just glad they bonded. It’s a little unconventional, but we’re all happy.\n\nAnyway dinner was going alright, but I mentioned something about how the pandemic had forced us to cancel our plans for our twentieth anniversary, and I didn’t think of it at the time, but obviously they did the math and the mother asked me about it, so I was honest. She looked very uncomfortable, but I guess a lot of people would be, and then she asked how I could say it in front of my daughter. I asked if I was supposed to lie to her, and the woman said she didn’t understand how I could be so upfront about cheating on my husband. That really pissed me off, because obviously I didn’t cheat so I told her to get out.\n\nMy daughter is mad at me, because she’s 16 and everything I do is mortifying, and because she is worried about her relationship, but I tried to explain it nicely to this woman. Also I feel like I’m not an asshole because she shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but I’ll let you decide. ######","completion":" NTA she disrespected you in your own home. Also she was the one who started asking questions and you tried to politely answer. Besides what business is it of hers? It doesn't affect her in any way ######"}
{"prompt":"So I had gotten a ridgeback\/Rottweiler mixed pup. All the other pups looked like Rottweilers with ridges on their backs, but one who looked like a RB with no ridge.\nI saw him, black sheep i thought, so am i.\nLoved the stuffing out this pup.\nWe did mostly everything together.\nEven on weekends we would go the practice together, and my team mates loved him.\n\nFast forward to 6 years later.\nI got home from school. First things first, go hang out with Brutus. \nNo Brutus, no chain, no bowl.\nWTF is going on i thought. \nMe: Mom. Where is Brutus?\nMom: oh. So you know or elderly neighbour X, someone stole their dog. So I gave them Brutus for protection.\nMe: what the fuck did you just say? You gave away my dog, without my permission?\nMom: Yes, they needed him more than we did. We have another dog.\nMe: he was not yours to give away you fucking cunt. Fuck off.\n\nMe being to young or stupid at the time to go take back my dog.\n\nSoon after I left home and found out he was depressed, stopped eating and he died.\nI never forgave here for this.\n\nAm I the asshole for this? ######","completion":" NTA she did give away your dog without your permission and also made him die for that youre defenitly not the ahole ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a tiny hole in my wall right above my bed. My girlfriend (17, im 18) absent-mindedly was scratching it and i jokingly said \"haha don't scratch my wall off\" thinking she'd stop. She didn't. She kept scratching it and i said something like \"im serious please don't break my wall\" as the hole was getting bigger. She kept on doing it though so I was a little upset because like ?? its my wall lol and i directly asked her to stop breaking it. Then she got defensive and completely shut me out and is now sulking on her phone. AITA?\n\nedit: misspelled a word ######","completion":" NTA She deliberately broke your wall.  And now she's apparently shutting you out for being upset that she caused harm to your property. That's doubly asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t see my family very often and my sister posted a picture of her BF a few days ago. He gets tattoos a lot and I had never seen the one on his arm. \n\nI zoomed in and just thought ‘hay that’s looks like my younger sister’ I didn’t think anything of it other than what a strange coincidence it was. I screenshot the photo and do a side by side comparison of another photo with my younger sister and send it to my sister. \n\nI wrote ‘his tattoo looks just like such and such!’\n\nShe replied back the next day asking what my game was? What was I trying to say? \nI was a bit shocked so replied ‘nothing, I just thought it was strange that’s all.’ To which she starts asking why I would feel the need to point out anyone’s tattoo mistakes. I said I wasn’t and she said I was trying to imply something. Of course I joked this off and explained no of course I don’t think he has a tattoo of our younger sister! Because I didn’t, just thought it was a mad coincidence how similar they are. \n\nShe got quite mad, started saying mum had pointed this out too, I had no right, why would I put it into his head about the tattoo etc etc. \n\nI’ve not even replied because I don’t see why she’s taken it so personally\/why she would tell him about a random similarity I noticed or why she jumped straight to anger. ######","completion":" NTA she definitely noticed too and is self conscious about it. Does your younger sister know? ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to current global circumstances all our staff meetings are through a zoom like platform.\n\n\nWhile we were waiting for the office manager to get on, everyone was showing off their pets and then the moms in there group started to talk about their kids, etc. \n\nMy coworker (35F), lets call her Z, was talking her daughter (7) being stubborn and “unwilling to do anything she doesn’t want.” Ya know. It’s whatever, nobody cared cause this meeting wasn’t about people’s children or their parenting. I basically forgot she said anything about her kid.\n\nThis is where I may have been an ass:\nAt the end of our meeting Z grabbed her daughter walking by and shoved her in front of the camera and said “here’s miss brat who never listens!” and I just got annoyed and said “we love strong women, don’t change!” \n\nIt’s just a personal annoyance of mine when people talk down about their kids, but I’m not a parent. So I really can’t say whether or not that’s normal, but as someone who came from an abusive home growing up, it rubbed me the wrong way.\n\nMy other coworker after the meeting said that was a dick move but I don’t think I was being an ass, just trying to make light of a weird way to describe and then show off your child. AITA? \n\nIf I am an asshole, I’ll say sorry to Z but she hasn’t said anything to me directly but I could tell it annoyed her. \n(Also, I’m 25F to make it more clear) ######","completion":" NTA saying stuff like that to kids at such a young age is just disgusting, it can affect children a lot when they grow up. I had this one teacher that always called me names and telling me that I was stupid and that I was a brat even though I was one of the most quiet and nice kids in the class, she was my teacher for four years and I have anxiety because of it. It must be way worse when your own parent does something like this, I really feel bad for the kid and I appreciate that you called the mom out, she deserved it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.\n\nI pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.\n\nEven with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was. \n\n*\"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!\"*\n\nI felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA s\/he’s your pet and you care for her, she makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what species it is, she’s important to you! that’s like saying “aw darn my puppy is growing up, time to get a new one!” It’s your finances and clearly you’re responsible about it. Your mom needs to not be so one-track minded ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.\n\nI LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.\n\nTo be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.\n\nWIBTA if I said I want to keep them?\n\nQuick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that \"you should always help your family no matter what\". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ######","completion":" NTA reply  “are you talking about the books you gave me years ago? I thought that was a birthday present. You want my birthday present back?” Make her look like the asshole here.\n\nEdit: also your friend probably wants them back because she doesn’t want to tell the original owner that she gave them away. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (33\/f) was recently dating a guy (29\/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33\/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28\/f) was there quite often.  She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA).  We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot.\n\nWell, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday).  I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up.\n\nRegardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K.  We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life. \n\nI'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us.\n\nI do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######","completion":" NTA Remaining friends with people you made from within the relationship is absolutely fine. \n\nI can possibly see how your ex may not like it, if he is insecure etc he may get paranoid about you speaking about him. \n\nI had a similar issue, my ex got more and more insistent I stop being friends with his friends gf because it was hurting him - took me a little while to realise that that was HIS problem. NOT being her friend would have hurt me... it sounds like losing her would hurt you.\n\nIts great that you are considering your ex's feelings but dont put them above yours. He broke up with you. \n\nAlso to add in - the decision on if you are friends or not is ultimately down to you and her, any other outside voices weighing in would be 'disrespectful'*3 to the relationship you have built together. Talk to her, see how she feels. \n\n(Said by somebody with anxiety and clinical depression so I do have an understanding of what he is experiencing) \n\nDisrespectful *3 isn't quite what I mean but couldn't think of a better word. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ######","completion":" NTA Relationships are about compromise. Have you considered losing your hearing? ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband)is a rehabilitated meth abuser. It seems like my sister in law will be moving back in with him and my MIL would like us to start planning the upcoming post-pandemic holidays. \n\nI’m considering putting down a firm, “Absolutely not.” My daughter is 1 and I just don’t trust him. \n\nHe was caught with meth in his golf bag a year ago and begrudgingly went to rehab. He has been clean for about six months. Before this he was just a general jerk. He was exhausting to be around. He would make a scene about anything to get attention. IE: How his drink was prepared, how much crab was in his crab cake, etc. His racism became such a norm that I felt myself becoming desensitized. IE: “I’ve never met a met a Maria who wasn’t a maid”. His range of obnoxious and immature behavior had a wide scope and could go on for paragraphs. \n\nWe never bonded before drugs came into the picture. He would take cheap shots and come up with odd blatant lies when my wife and I would make any effort to bond with him over the last 12 years. For example, I told him about some things from infantry training and he interrupted me to go on about a time he went skiing from a helicopter. That story he interrupted me to tell had never happened. He has this odd habit of being shitty and\/or lying in public but then apologizing\/confessing in private when he gets you alone. \n\nIn short, I didn’t want this immature jerk around my daughter before I found out he was a drug abuser.  Now I’m drawing a strict rule but it will have an adverse effect on my In laws who understandably want the entire family together.\n\nAITA and being too harsh or do I have a leg to stand on? I would also appreciate hearing from rehabilitated people who were on the receiving end of being cut out by family members. ######","completion":" NTA Regardless of the relatively new rehabilitation, which is absolutely enough of a reason, literally everything else you've said about him makes me want to keep MY kids away from him! \n\nLet your daughter and in-laws have special times when he isn't around, that's a completely acceptable compromise, but keep that racist asshat away from your precious babe! ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my mom doesn't really do boundaries.  I was assigned female at birth but identify as male.  Because of the pandemic I haven't been able to start things that I planned to start.  Ever since I started puberty she does this thing where she is in the bathroom while I shower.\n\nIt started with her coming in and going to the bathroom while I'm showering.  But now that I'm out of the closet, she tends to come in right after I've started my shower.  She will not only go to the bathroom while I'm showering, but also brush her teeth and complain at me about my dad, who is her ex-husband.\n\nI end up having to tell her to get out most of the time.  She doesn't seem to understand why I won't dry off in the shower while she keeps talking at me.  I feel like she's waiting to see me naked so that she can see if I've done anything to \"damage\" my body, as she puts it.  It makes me really uncomfortable.\n\nShe insists it's perfectly normal for mothers to be in the bathroom while their kids are showering but I'm 21 now.  And she thinks it's fine for her to be in there because she \"grew me inside of her\".  She can't see my reasoning for why it makes me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I try to explain it to her.\n\nAITA for not wanting her to come into the bathroom while I'm showering? ######","completion":" NTA regardless of gender or identity or any of that. You're not comfortable being naked in the same room as her. That's it. That's all that is required for her to be an asshole for intruding. Doesn't matter that it's her house or that she birthed you. She is being not only disrespectful but also a bit creepy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because my sister knows my main. I am 20F and she is 30. I live at home with my parents and she and her boyfriend live about a half an hour away in an apartment. \n\nSo the backstory is I have suffered from disordered eating and eating disorders since I was 15. It was really bad in my last year of high school but when I started college I told my family about my struggles and started to get help. I was doing alright for a while although I am still slightly underweight (5’4, 100 lbs) - it’s not as bad as I once was (at my lowest I hovered between 79 and 80lbs). \n\nMy sister knows about my struggles. She is not overweight but at the high end of a healthy weight looking to lose some pounds. She always talks to me about how much weight she’s lost or how she’s “good” for not drinking any alcohol or eating treats. I have told her I am proud of her for getting healthy and that I am always up to talking about cooking healthy foods and things like that with her I don’t want to talk about weight, numbers, dieting, cutting out foods with her.  She does not listen. \n\nFinally yesterday she was going on about how she was down 6 lbs and it was thanks to not eating the Oreos she’d bought and pawing them off on me cuz she didn’t need those calories (my favourites tbh). I was annoyed she was disregarding my feelings about weight and calories and numbers. Finally I said “Amos told me he’s up 4 lbs. Poor guy. Not enough exercise for him!” Amos is her dog. \n\nShe got really mad at me for disregarding her hard work and comparing her weight loss to the hypothetical weight gain of a dog. I reminded her she disrespected my feelings about weight loss and calorie talk and reminded her I had disordered eating which made it for me to hear those things. \n\nShe hasn’t talked to me since. Maybe I overstepped. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA recovery from an eating disorder can be a long and hard path. It can takes years to fully recover and it still doesn't stop it being triggered again in the future. \n\nYour sister is either incredibly ignorant, or worse, just doesn't care. \n\nShe was a major asshole talking about things that can potentially trigger a relapse, it's ok to be proud of being healthy, but there was no need to go onto details and mention the things she did. \n\nIs she in the habit of being so thoughtless and\/or playing the victim? \n\nCongratulations on your recovery, that's not easy, but it sounds like you're doing great, despite your sister being an insensitive ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months. \n\nA was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.\n\n2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb\/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind. \n\nMy original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA quite the opposite you researched halal food for her you respected her religious choices and catered for that.\n\nImagine if you hadn't provided halal food for her she would have kicked up a fuss about it saying you were discriminating against Muslims \n\nDeffo NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ######","completion":" NTA Putting your image online without your consent is just uncalled for and for what seems like just for internet points is kinda scummy. I'm sure you can contact tic tok and ask for them to take it down if you explain that it uses your image without your consent. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me?\n\nI (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me.\n The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this. \nAITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######","completion":" NTA Protect yourself from this person at all costs. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cat, [Vader](https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/69228620@N03\/49833377478\/in\/dateposted-public\/), loves to stare at people in the bathroom.\n\nHe gets into his cat loaf position and just watches, creepily and unblinking.\n\nIt drives my husband crazy. \n\nThe other day he forgot to close the door and Vader was doing his creepy watch. He asked me to close the door. Instead I joined Vader on the floor and creepily watched him until he threw toilet paper at me\n\nHe says it wasn't funny but I disagree ######","completion":" NTA probably one of the funniest things I've read. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 17 year old male but I enjoy doing some things that are traditionally feminine, such as painting my nails or letting my sister do my makeup sometimes. I simply like doing it and that's how I've always been. \n\nSo anyways, our church is opening this sunday and my parents want to go to watch my cousin get baptistised. I don't mind going at all but today my dad told me that I need to take the nail polish off before sunday. \n\nIt's just plain black nail polish so I don't understand why it's such an issue. Nobody is going to be looking at my nails. \n\nMy sister told me that I should just leave it and let our parents fuck themselves and that's what I did. My dad saw that I hadn't taken it off and asked why. I told him I wasn't going to take it off and that I didn't care what he thought.-\n\nI told him that I'm not going if I can't wear what I want and he said that I'm being stubborn and childish. He said that I'm \"ruining my cousins event\" but I honestly doubt that he'll care if I'm there or not.\n\nAITA for not going to church? ######","completion":" NTA pretty nails shouldn’t be a feminine thing. Rock your beautiful cuticles my friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month know. We have gotten very emotionally close and slept together one time.\nLast night he texted me that he had something serious to tell me, something he should have told me before. I reassured him that he could trust me, and this exchange went back and forth for about half an hour. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to tell me.\n\nHe finally tells me that he was born intersex, and his parents decided for him to have surgery as baby. He said he has felt a lot of insecurity around it and was afraid I wouldn’t accept him. I was surprised and a little hurt that he wouldn’t have told me that before we slept together, but I was very kind and understanding in return because I have a friend who is intersex. It didn’t change how I felt about him. \n\nFinally he asks if he can call me. When he does he asks if he call tell me one more thing, “April fools”. I was pissed and told him that it’s not something funny to joke about. He has apologized in a genuine way, but I’m not over it. I feel like it was tasteless to joke about that, and he really made me have empathy for him and the joke crossed a line(especially since we have slept together). AITA for not getting over his joke? ######","completion":" NTA pranks are suppose to be funny, whats funny about some elaborate lie over their gender identity and the way he played it out\n\nIts emotionally manipulative ######"}
{"prompt":"13M. \n\nMy Dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Jess, started spending the night recently. Before he met her, every night, I’d lay in my dad’s bed with my head on his chest. He’d stroke my hair and we’d talk for about an hour before I went to bed. I did this the first few days and she didn’t say anything until about an hour ago. She asked me to please stop doing it when she’s around because the affection should go to her when she’s here, but it’s okay to do it when she’s gone. She told me that I made her feel like she wasn’t even there and my dad didn’t care about her. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA PLEASE TELL YOUR DAD ######"}
{"prompt":"Well, today is mother's day at least in my country anyways.( I am sure I just reminded some of you) It's also my mother's birthday today. So its super special. \n\nBecause she's turning 50 I thought l would plan something. So from last month I have been texting my brother (23M) to make sure that he is available this weekend and to home so we could celebrate. ( he lives far away due to school) I started a month in advance because l knew that he must be nagged to do certain things.\n\nI ordered the cake and paid for it with my own money. I even booked a restaurant reservation( but due to COVID that failed) \n \nI bought Lillys for her( they are her favourite) and helped my little brother ( 7) to make a card for her.\n\nFinally after a whole month of begging and nagging my brother agreed to stay over. He kept saying things like he is super busy and may not be able to make it.\n\nSo on the day( today) my little brother and l woke up super early to make her her favourite meal. We tried waking up my big brother but he wouldn't budge. \n\nWhen my mother woke up she was so happy. The problem arose when during breakfast, my mother asked who planned all this. I was in the process of saying it was a group effort, even though my big brother did nothing but show up. My big brother cut me off and started taking credit for the whole thing. He even said he paid for the cake!\n\nI said nothing then because my mother was super happy and the moment was about her. Later on however, when my brother and l were alone, l confronted him.\n\nWhen l expressed how I didn't appreciate his stunt at breakfast,  he started saying the way l was being selfish because the moment was about our mother.\n\nSo AITA for getting mad or just petty?\nI am (18F) for context? ######","completion":" NTA please let your mother privately know how much effort you put into it. I’m honestly mad for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for format, on mobile. \nI’ll try to keep it short. This has been an ongoing argument mostly between myself (19f) and my mom (50f). I want kids, but I don’t want to carry them myself. Part of my problem is that I’m having difficulty explaining EXACTLY why, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing with my body. I’m a lesbian, so eventually I’ll (hopefully) end up marrying another woman. When it comes to kids, I’ve said that either my future wife can be pregnant if she wants and it comfortable with it, or we can adopt. I am completely fine with either option, I’ll love my kid(s) all the same. Family is made by choice, not blood in my eyes. \n  My mom says this makes me self-centered and wimpy because I’m “expecting someone else to do all the hard work for me,” and “I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies\/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.” Also on her side, it means “I have no respect for anyone who gives birth.”\n  I feel like I’m living in the handmaid’s tale, she feels like I’m a self centered prick. Honestly she’s been railing against so much it’s just making me doubt myself and whether I’m really valid, because I do (as far as I know) have a perfectly functioning reproductive system, and some killer looks to pass down, so who am I to deny the world more? ######","completion":" NTA please don't let your mom -- or *anyone --* make you feel bad about this. It's completely your decision whether you carry a child, and you really don't need any explanation for it beyond simply not feeling comfortable ######"}
{"prompt":"This seems like a straightforward YTA kind of thread. \n\nSee the thing is I turned 21 when everything was in lockdown. It was a bummer but I get it. My close friend (26f) and I had this plan to visit the city, reserve a nice room and celebrate and postpone it. It was suppose to be next week then my friend announced she'll probably get her  period next week, so we have to cancel.\n\nThat seems odd, right? Well my friend can, but refuses to wear tampons. They make her feel immoral. One of the big activities was visiting a water theme park but if she gets her period, she can't go swim. Again, no matter what she'll refuse to wear a tampon even for an hour.\n\nThis sort of irked me because whenever we plan a trip for her birthday she makes sure she books the room during the earlier days of the month to avoid this problem. For my trip she booked it on a later week. She says simply we can just reschedule, because she gets weeks off, but for me my work isn't that easy. I need to put my request in at least 2 months in advance. I also take care of my ill grandma and had to pull some strings to make sure my sister would be her caretaker these days.\n\nMy friend seems to have no care about any of this. I've told her we could just skip the park but she says that's what she's looking forward to the most. I'm upset and stressed right now and I don't know if I have a right to be. I know it's not something controllable but she's often so aware of this and it feels like she put all my concern on the backburner. ######","completion":" NTA period end of story ######"}
{"prompt":"About 2 months ago I got arrested, it wasn't my fault, my friend was driving and he was speeding while having about 2 pounds of weed on him.  I had no idea he had that on him but  cause I was an \"accomplice\" I got sent to a holding cell for the night before they realized I did nothing and let me go.  \n\nMy sister has been making fun of me for this mistake for the past 2 months now, calling me the \"drug addict\" and a \"dumbass for going to jail\" and some other names.  I have had enough cause SHE was the one who a year back did cocaine right on our dinner table when our parents were away.  \n\nAt the dinner table it was only me, my older sister (the one that makes fun of me) and younger sister.  She called me her \"druggie little brother\" and I had enough and said \"At least I don't.....\" and stopped myself and and fake snorted a line.  She got really mad and started cussing me out but my dad told her to stop and she just went into her room without finishing dinner. \n\nI didn't tell but I guess my younger sister did tell and my parents were NOT happy, they pay for her phone so they took her off their plan and she has to now pay half of her car insurance.  She thinks I'm he one who told them and has been pissed at me to stay the least.  I don't think I have done anything wrong, but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA people who live in glass houses... ######"}
{"prompt":"He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######","completion":" NTA people shouldn’t even treat waitstaff like that, he was rude ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife got very mad at me for buying a cot and sleeping in the dining room because of her gaming late at night. When she gets done with her work she likes to game and that is cool by me, I even do a little bit of gaming myself. The only issue is that I have to go to bed because I have to be up early and she will play survival games that scare the hell out of her and she will jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA People need sleep, that isn't debatable.\n\n> jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting.\n\n...what? Screaming scares sleeping people. What the hell is wrong with her? ######"}
{"prompt":"My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ######","completion":" NTA people are dying because of socializing. You shouldn't have anyone stay in your home, especially if they're visiting a hospital and aren't a medical professional.  Tell them to support a local hotel and meet them in a park for a socially distant picnic. Chances are none of them even bother wearing masks. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.\n\nPersonally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list. \n\nAnd, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.\n\nI have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA parents are SUPPOSED to wipe their kids asses. You sign up for that when you CHOOSE to have kids.\n\nNo one chooses to be born, therefore no one chooses to have parents. Not your responsibility.\n\nHire a home care nurse who actually wants and is trained to do that job. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so starting out, I have never been very maternal except with my dog. Little kids gross me out. I dont want to hold your baby. I just dont like kids. I think people who choose to be mothers are beautiful and strong but it's just not for me. My husband feels the same way and we have talked about if we wanted kids we would want to adopt and give a child a loving home when we are both emotionally\/mentally mature enough for a child. \n\nNext, I have a terrible fear of getting pregnant. It haunts me. If I were to get pregnant it would put all my dreams and ambitions on hold. I dont want to put my body through that. I'm not ready for it. \n\nMy husband and I have been thinking of me getting a bilateral salpingectomy. I am the one who came to this decision and my husband supports it. I dont want him to get a vasectomy because they can come undone and I can still get pregnant. But with this procedure I can no longer get pregnant \"naturally\" but I still have my ovaries, so I can be insiminated if we change our minds (doubt it).\n\nWe have been talking about adopting for 2 years if we wanted kids and my dad and his mom seem on board with that idea. But my mom just says \"no no no\" and \"you need to start having kids asap before you find out you cant have any\" and \"when are you giving me a grandchild??\" And then my husband's stepdad (whom I've known for 2 years) is telling me to have kids so he can have grandkids and makes all these creepy baby jokes to me. I've told them both I dont want kids and my mom has flipped out on me, calling me selfish and that I'm going to waste my life by not having kids. His stepdad just undermines my opinion and says \"yes you do, you just dont know it\".\n\nA part of my feels bad because it's like I'm \"cheating\" them out of being grandparents but if I had a child for that reason it would be wrong and not fair to either me or the child. Would I be an a**hole to get this procedure and not have kids? Am I being \"selfish\"? ######","completion":" NTA other people are not entitled to make life-altering decisions for you like getting pregnant and raising a child. It’s super frustrating when people try to pressure their adult children into having kids because they feel “owed” for some reason. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a couple of years ago my twin brother Ric and I met his now wife Nikki through mutual friends. I liked Nikki and asked her out, she said yes, we had coffee and a great time. I asked if she wanted to go out again, she apologized and told me that she thinks I’m a great guy that’s why she gave going out with me a shot but for some reason it’s Ric that she’s attracted to (Ric and I are identical twins). \n\nI didn’t expect that but it was fine because it wasn’t as if I fell in love with Nikki at first sight and was already planning the rest of our lives together. I also thought it was cool that there’s this awesome girl who likes my brother because Ric was always the quiet and introverted one and didn’t go out much. So I set them up, they clicked instantly and last month they got married after dating for a few years. \n\nA lot of the wedding guests know how Ric and Nikki got together so I didn’t think it would be an issue when in my best man speech I joked that Nikki knew which twin she wanted from the get go and recounted how her shooting me down during our date led to me setting her and Ric up. Nikki laughed while Ric said that I became his favorite brother after I set them up (we have no other brothers). \n\nHowever, after the wedding my girlfriend was mad and told me that it was completely unnecessary to bring up that I went out with Nikki. She said it’s disrespectful to everyone and I should’ve just said that I set them up. I think it’s more amusing to know the whole story and that my girlfriend is over reacting (it was one time and literally all Nikki and I did was drink coffee and talk) but I wanna know how people who don’t know us look at this. ######","completion":" NTA only because it was a commonly known joke and the bride and groom didn't mind. \n\nUsually it's not OK to mention that you dated the bride before the wedding, but this seems like an exception to that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have wanted to grow a beard for years now, but always thought it didn’t suit me.\n\nWith the lockdown, I haven’t really bothered shaving. With the lack of barbers, I shaved my head the other day only to find I really love how I look with the beard and shaved head.\n\nMy girlfriend keeps telling me to shave it, she says people will think it looks awful and that it’s embarrassing\/unfair on her for me to look this way. I genuinely prefer how I look this way.\n\n\nI don’t really care what other people think of my appearance, and I feel my beard as comforting and a confidence booster. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA on principle. I'm sure (I hope) you don't get a say on her appearance, so she doesn't get a say on yours. Granted, she does have the right to be less attracted to you based on a change in your appearance, but that's a topic for another discussion. ######"}
{"prompt":"TL DR: regardless of how you feel about the covid quarantine, my husband was secretly going to bars. He didn’t tell anyone in our family including his elderly high risk parents who came to visit on Father’s Day because they thought we had been staying at home, so I told him he had to call them and tell them the truth before they came back over this afternoon.\n\n\nSo, we’ve been married for 7 years, have 2 toddlers, and my husband still doesn’t seem to understand his actions affect other people. We’ve been quarantining since March, but he is “essential” so his work schedule has been normal. On Father’s Day his parents (both over 70yrs old) came over for the 1st time to surprise him and we all sat down and ate together since they felt it was an acceptable minimal risk since he only goes to work.\nWell, I saw text messages last night that he’s been going to bars with friends after work.\n\nI’m upset that he’s been lying to me, and I don’t know what to do about that.\nI’m upset that he’s possibly been putting our family’s health at risk, and I don’t know what to do about that.\nI’m also upset that his elderly parents were here because we told them we were safe, and apparently that was a lie, so I told him to call them and tell them he lied or else I would.\n\nHe said I’m an asshole for dragging them into our business. He lied to them too. I think that is their business. His dad is supposed to come over again today-I think he deserves to know the truth in order to reevaluate the risk before coming over.\n\nI think I’m protecting our vulnerable parents and children. He says I’m an asshole trying to control everyone, be he’s also already established he’s willing to lie to get what he wants. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA omg you have THREE toddlers! ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little backstory\nMy parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My parents won’t let me sell any of my current items so I obviously have to do chores (I’m not old enough to get a job.) I’ve done stuff like walk my dog, clean the windows and vacuum at m’s house all for £5 or less each. D paid £10 for just the windows (£1 per window) so obviously I wanted to do the chores at his but m has a huge shed that hasn’t been entered in years! So the words m gave me were “if you can empty this shed and sort the items i will give £10” i thought this was an ok price so i cleared the shed and sorted the items (25 min work) I ask m for the money but she says not until i wash the items (the shed was filled with cobwebs and insects.) I was annoyed but i asked for the cleaning products but she said she didn’t have any. So i had to buy the hose... with the money I hadn’t earnt yet. Plus bug killer, scrubs and new bin bags! i was losing money so i said no. M then said she wasn’t paying me until i did. So i was practically paying her £2.49 to clean out, sort and wash HER shed. I have a natural phobia of bugs so I already hated it but this was ridiculous. I refused and now m has taken all the money i earnt as a punishment plus my ps3 (i prefer xbox but this was all we could get.) D is taking M’s side but I think he’s scared which I don’t blame him for. So Reddit am i the ahole? Also this is my first story on here so sorry if it isn’t good for this subreddit. ######","completion":" NTA oh boy, you get to pay to clean the shed, what a great deal... the reasonable thing would be for your parents to purchase the cleaning supplies or to compensate you for them after you were finished. ######"}
{"prompt":"So long story short my friend from high school has 6 kids and she takes care of none of them. The last time I went ober to her house it was disgusting dirty diapers on the floor trash piled up so high that it was a maze just to get to the couch. The kids were so dirty it looked like they hadnt been bathed in at least a week. It is bad enough that she has 6 kids crammed in a 2 bedroom trailer but she also decided to get 2 dogs that she now doesnt take care of. The dogs have fleas so bad that the kids now have fleas crawling in their hair. That was all bad enough, but i reached my limit when the kids started talking about their private places and how they knew it sometimes felt good when other people touched you there. Former friend recently let her new bf move in with them so its super concerning to me that the kids might be being abused along with being neglected. So I called cps and made a report. Somehow it got out and former friend messaged me freaking out calling me every name in the book and saying that I am a horrible person, and that she needs those kids to survive. So tell me AITA? ######","completion":" NTA of course. The children's welfare comes first.\n\nThe better thing is this: If there's any hope for her at all as a parent, CPS will help her. (To be honest, it sounds like there isn't, but they really do try to help people be better parents before they take the kids.) ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway for privacy reasons. \n\nI am bisexual. I have dated both men and women in the past but for the past 8 years I have been in a heterosexual relationship and I have biological children with my partner. Last night I was talking about how I would like to watch the new Disney + movie “Out” with our oldest because I thought it might be good to open up some dialogue about gay people and families. I think this is important for a lot of reasons but one being that his uncle recently came out and I would like to talk to him about it. \n\nMy partner scoffed and said my son was too young (he’s 7), and they didn’t understand why I was all of a sudden passionate about gay rights. I said, “well considering I am bisexual, I’ve always been about gay rights.”  My partner said I was an AH to call myself bisexual when I was in a heterosexual relationship and I’d clearly made my choice. He also said that since I wasn’t in a same sex relationship currently I could only call myself an ally. So, AITA for calling myself bisexual still? ######","completion":" NTA of course. Many if not most bi people are in relationships... they are all still bi. I don’t even understand how it’s up for debate. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story.\n\nMy parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.\n\nNever paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.\n\nRecently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.\n\nI've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.\n\nMy relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates \n\n(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)\n\nAm i wrong for feeling like this ? ######","completion":" NTA of course. If he can't abide by the 'tradition' of caring for his children why should you abide by this one? Imo this man has already caused you enough unhappiness that a year of denying yourself is unneccesary ######"}
{"prompt":"My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes. \n\nWhen I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude. \n\nNow I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol. \n\nI just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######","completion":" NTA of course there’s no excuse for rudeness especially when she refuses to acknowledge it and apologize. Sounds like her true colors are coming out now that she thinks she has something to blame her bad behavior on. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was dating my wife for 8 years before I proposed. We lived together for most of that time and it just didn't feel like it would make any difference. Finally I proposed and just a month after the proposal we found out that she was pregnant. With that discovery we decided to postpone plans to get married until after he was born and everything was settled in a bit.\n\nFast forward to our wedding with our baby. While we had him by our side for the majority of it, every now and then a family member would volunteer to watch him for a short bit. Queue my wife's mother saying that she wanted to watch him for a little while.\n\nNow I can tell many stories about why the MIL is not a responsible adult, but I'll keep it simple for the sake of this post. I thought it'd be fine since there were people everywhere and in my head \"I had to start trusting her at some point\". I was wrong and I'm happy that it stayed as tame as it did.\n\nMy son was teething and gave her a small bite on the MILs arm. I didn't see it but apparently she put him into the wet grass and just walked away saying \"shit, he's lucky I didn't throw him\". She left him there with no one close by watching him. My mother saw this from a distance and scooped him up. She told me about it later.\n\nSo... I didn't much trust this person beforehand but the event solidified my stance. It's been four years now. I never talked to the MIL about what happened. I just told the wife that the MIL will never watch him or even be left alone in the same room as him. She wasn't happy about it but didn't argue against it either. When the MIL has offered to watch him I dance around the issue and I think that she has gotten wise to the fact that even though I'm friendly to her, I wouldn't trust her to make a sandwich for my son let alone watch him.\n\nAll of this has soured relations a bit but frankly, that hasn't changed anything for me. So... AITA for never letting the MIL watch her grandson? ######","completion":" NTA obviously. You have to do what’s best for your son. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######","completion":" NTA obviously. My goodness ######"}
{"prompt":"My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks. \n\nBut recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard. \n\nFor reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1\/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching. \n\nHe is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed. \n\nI want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######","completion":" NTA obviously. It's your property not his. If he won't take a hint you can give him a heads up you're putting up a small decorative fence on the property line so he will have to move his dog. Good fences make good neighbors. ######"}
{"prompt":"Literally 2 minutes since this happened, on mobile warning, the usual. \n\nMy younger brother (14) keeps a drink next to his bed, pretty normal. This drink is in a plastic watermelon cup.\n\nNow, because he's incompetent, he \"has to\" have someone else fill it and pass it to him (he can do it on his own, he just refuses to 99% of the time).\n\nWhen he wants it filled, he will shout. What will he shout you ask?\n\"OI, BOY! WATERMELON!\"\n\nThe irony of a 14 year old calling his older brother \"boy\" is not lost on me, but I deal with it.\n\nSo far, I have described a normal night; now for what happened tonight. \n\nTonight, he screamed at me with the windows open while I was half-running to the bathroom before I shat myself (he was in there for 15 minutes while I filled the dishwasher); so I responded \"not now, I'm busy\".\n\nHis response to this was to: jump out of bed, shout again, and throw the cup as hard as he could at the now locked bathroom door. \n\nNow, tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm already pretty certain that he's an asshole at this point, but now enters my mum.\n\nAbout 5 minutes later (nice crap, hand washing, and tooth brushing) I emerged from the bathroom and began to walk along the landing when my mum said \"are you going to fill his melon now?\"\n\nI responded with a quick \"no, I'm not going to stand for him shouting and throwing things at me to get what he wants.\"\n\nTo this, she sighed, walked to the bathroom, and filled it herself (less than 30 seconds). While doing this she said \"you're an arsehole you know. You should have just done it and not made me do it.\"\n\n[4 minutes later] \n\nMum walks past my door and says \"it would make life so much easier if you weren't an arsehole to your brother all the time\"\n\nI didn't respond, so she repeated it louder.\n\n\"Mum, I heard the first time\"\n\"Well you should have responded then, arsehole\"\n\nAnd she walked away. \n\nAt this point, I might as well change my legal name to arsehole considering how often I get called it, but oh well.\n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA obviously. Is there a reason this teenager can’t fill up his own cup? ######"}
{"prompt":"My father is an abusive man. I cannot remember a time when he wasn't abusing me. My entire childhood was a living nightmare until I turned 16 and I got to go my aunt's home for my summer internship because our house was too far from my job. My aunt was the polar opposite of my father and the memories that I made with her are some of the best memories of my life. \n\n\nI'm 23 now and my aunt just passed and she left me her home and a sizable amount of money. She wrote me a letter explaining why she left the money to me and I don't want to let her down. \n\n\nMy dad believes that I should pay him back for the money he spent on my education and that means living with him and paying for everything in his house until I get married or he dies. He has been trying to intimidate me into using the money my aunt left me to settle my \"debt\" and to will my aunt's home to him because it's in much better shape than his house and he \"deserves\" it because she was his sister. \n\n \nMy father relies on my income to keep the house running and I've been fine with paying for everything up until now but I think this is a step too far. \n\n\nWIBTA if I moved out and cut off all contact with him knowing full well that he cannot afford to live in the style that he is accustomed to? ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA. You owe him NOTHING. Get the fuck out of there. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?\n\nHe pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog). \n\nHe makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February. \nI asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?\n\n\nEdit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA. \n\nHe is spending not his free money, but YOUR MONEY on these parties. He took money OUT of a combined savings account that he refuses to put any money towards in order to party. He is not spending his own money to go on parties, he is spending YOUR'S and then refusing to replace it. And on top of that, he has an extra 800 a month to freely spend. Why didn't he pay for the party with all that cushiony money? Unless he had already recklessly spent it all. \n\nop, WAKE UP. This is not a man who cares about your future. This is not a man who cares about your free time. This is not a man who shares the same values with you when it comes to preparing for the worst. This is not a man who wants to invest in his future WITH you, in your LIFE together. \n\nI highly suggest having a talk about values with him, and if that gets nowhere maybe try therapy, or having a mediator to help.\n\nETA: if you feel the need to spend all your disposable income on savings because he refuses to put any money down, he is in the wrong. He is the one asking YOU to give up all your free money while he blows it. Instead, you can both set up a situation where you equally save, and enjoy your leftover money together. If he is not willing to do that, he is in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we’re both vegan and have been for years. \n\nLast year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have. \n\nShe’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food. \n\nUnfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse. \n\nWe went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets. \n\nWe’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it. \n\nWe’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not. \n\nThey’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat. \n\nWe don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away. \n\nThis has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat. \n\nAre we the assholes here? \n\n[cat tax](https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/QFng2By.jpg) ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA! \n\nCats are obligate carnivores as you rightly stated. Good for you, don’t listen to your vegan friends, you are doing the best for your kitty 🐱 ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.\n\nSo I’m just wondering, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA NTA\nNo one has right to touch you in any sense without your approval. If you say no, it means no. No matter to whom. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background on me: I'm a 16 year old trans guy. I'm on testosterone, the medication in this scenario.What's going on:I have a T shot every Sunday at 7. I was late because I wasn't paying attention to time, no big deal since I do it myself right? I go downstairs to get my stuff to do my shot and everything is there *except* for my actual testosterone vial. I ask about it, cause you know; it's medication. My mom tells me that if I want to take my shot I have to do chores that I normally do before bed. I got pissed and went to my bedroom because that shit isn't cool. My dad comes up a little later and asked me if I knew she meant I had to do my chores and not an essay that she also brought up. I said yeah and he called me unreasonable for saying I was just gonna be super late and or miss my shot this week.  \nEDIT: Yes, I know I should do chores, I'm not an idiot. The issue is the fact that it was never a requirement before and that has suddenly changed. Chores don't get done til right before bed because if I don't do them then or as soon as I wake up I forget to. My mom gets pissed if I forget to do them and it ends with me not being able to do things like get a job and such. ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA NTA And I really wouldn’t trust anyone saying otherwise. Withholding medication is serious shit, and clearly not at all related to chores being done - it’s a power trip. It’s not okay under any circumstances, and it’s obscene to be saying it’s a reasonable punishment for a teenager putting off chores. ######"}
{"prompt":"So...like, in my mind I don't think I'm an asshole but my family is treating me like I have disowned my father for this so here goes: \n\nAround 2017, I cut all of my hair off. All of it. I stopped getting relaxers and let my hair go natural because I really wanted to try it, and I LOVE it. I have kept my hair short and proper since, and I feel a lot more freer with my hair in it's natural, healthy state. \n\nMy father, on the other hand, HATES it. Like, despises it. Everytime he has seen me, for like the past year or so, he has to comment on my hair. I've always been nice about it, laughed off his jokes about it, and kind of shrugged them off, but I'm going to be honest, it's started to piss me off. \n\nToday, I walked into the room where he was, and the first thing he says to me is: \"When are you going to let your hair grow out and get a relaxer?\" Y'all, I'm on my period and I'm cramping so I just let him have it. I told him that I have agency over my own body and that I like the style so I'm not changing it. He looked at me and laughed, then mocked me like a three year old. He was like \"You don't have to be rude,\" and I'm like, \"I'm not being rude, I just don't like you talking about my body and my hair choices. I don't tell you what to do with your hair.\" He looked over at my mom and was like \"Why is she so rude?\" and she told me that \"I wasn't being nice\" and I just...I don't know what to think? He says things about my weight and stuff sometimes too and I very rarely say anything to him but the one time I defend myself...I'm the asshole? \n\nAm I really the asshole or am I just...being a bitch about it? ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA !!!\n\nI relate to this SO much. Ever since I was 12 I’ve told my parents I want to shave my head and keep it short. My natural hair is extremely thick and very curly, which makes it a pain in the ass to take care of every single day. \n\nWhen I was 18 I finally just shaved it all off. My parents, catholic and conservative, hated it! Only, my parents liked to not say anything right to my face and pretend they liked it. Once the hair was long enough to touch my shoulders I mentioned shaving again and my mom agreed with a fake smile and dad said something like “just leave the hair alone!” Should’ve seen moms face when I told her I like girls lmao. \n\nDistance is your friend. They’re your parents so I’m sure you don’t want to cut them off, but moving out and getting away from that toxicity is amazing! It’s your hair and nobody, NOBODY, is allowed to tell you what to do with it. Whether it’s weight, hair, tattoos, lifestyle choices, they won’t agree either way. \n\nDo your own thing and try to not let them get to you. Your dad’s an inconsiderate AH and probably won’t change anytime soon. Keep ur chin high and your hair exactly the way you enjoy it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been writing porn stories for about 2 years now. It’s not huge but I make $750-$1500 dollars a month from it, sometimes even more, which really helps supplement my income. It’s nothing super super hardcore though some of the kinks I guess could be considered “weird.”\n\nI was talking with my boyfriend of about a year and I just casually dropped this information. He got mad at me! But I didn’t think it was a big deal. He seemed to almost think it was a dealbreaker and that it’s super weird that I do this, that only really strange and messed up people write that sort of stuff. He’s not a prude, we’ve had sex, so it’s just all strange to me. AITA for not telling him about it straight off the bat\/earlier? ######","completion":" NTA NTA NTA - this is YOUR job, YOUR income,  your partner has nothing to say about this. If anything he should be proud people like your writing so much they are willing to pay for it! It's not like you're sleeping around on him, you are just writing! ######"}
{"prompt":"I am very interested to learn how everyone sees this.\nMy father is dead now for about 10 years. He had been a banker and had offered an (ill advised) investment opportunity - back in the 2000s - to a sort of friend, I'd say more of a buddy, if that makes sense. \nThe friend made an investment of 500 €, which seemingly was a lot to him at the time (important later).\n\nMy father went back to the US and forgot all about his previous life in Germany, where this plays out, he later died there too. He left most of his earthly belongings to his two brothers. \n\nThe friend never forgot about his 500 € investment into this stock, the respective company went bankrupt in the late 2000s, without him even noticing. When I met him on the bus only recently, he approached me and asked me to pay him back 'his' 500 €. I was a bit shocked since I didn't even know about his investment - apparently my father had told him this was a totally safe investment opportunity where he'd get back his money any time.\n\nI refused to pay or even split the loss, telling him that the real heirs of my father's estate were in the US. I actually tried to reach out to one of these uncles but was unsuccessful. Apparently the 'friend' is hard pressed for cash after the restaurant his brother maintained had to close, leaving him unemployed and later working as a package delivery driver. \n\nAITA for not paying the friend? He has been giving me death stares every time I saw him since, occasionally trying to make me feel guilty by saying things like: \"Well, this money doesn't hurt you like it hurts me.\" \n\nI do not feel responsible for my father's idiotic investment tipps which he gave to people, plus the people's decisions to follow through with them. Am I under a moral obligation to seek out the guy and pay him? ######","completion":" NTA not your problem.  Anyone can say your dad owed me money. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: I have a strict \"no lending\" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever. \n\nDue to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.\n\nLast month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.\n\nHere's the thing though. I work 12\/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.\n\nNow, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.\n\nBut none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA Not your circus,  not your monkeys. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a long time ago - when I was about 14 and on a family holiday to a holiday park kind of place (Center Parcs for anyone in Europe). When I was a young teenager, I was kinda chubby and didn’t get much attention from boys like some of my friends did. \n\nSo anyway, one Valentine’s Day, my family wrote a fake card from a ‘secret admirer’ guy asking me to meet him at a the central place (where all the bars and restaurants etc are). Straight away I thought it was BS and laughed it off saying yeah whatever. Well over the course of the day, my whole family (mum, stepdad and sister) basically convinced me it was real, promising they didn’t send it and just genuinely trying to convince me to go to the place we were supposed to meet. Eventually, I thought I’d just go when my younger sister said she’d come with me and we’d just hang out in the area. I wasn’t completely convinced but was convinced enough to go. \n\nSure enough, we get to the place, hang out for a bit and no one shows. All of a sudden, my mum and stepdad show up and they all start laughing saying it was a prank. I tried to laugh along but obviously I was completely humiliated. I think the worst part is that they still occasionally bring it up and laugh about it. Recently, I told them I thought it was a horrible thing to do and I actually don’t find it funny at all. They all make out I’m being being an asshole and can’t take a joke or that I’m too sensitive. \n\nSo, AITA in the sense that I should just get over it? ######","completion":" NTA not only is it a really low quality prank, it actually hurt your confidence and feelings. Not very cash money of them. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the past two years I’ve brought up wanting to meet my (35f) boyfriend’s (32m) best friend a couple times (“I want to meet so-and-so”, and “so when am I going to meet so-and-so?”) and the responses were, respectively, nothing, and “whenever”. Since then I’ve fought about it with him twice and the latest one he told me I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and suggested meeting his friend would “mean something about our relationship,” which, in the end, is true. \n\nI feel like I’m not good enough to meet his friend, that he’s embarrassed of me or maybe he’s embarrassed of his friend (?), that he’s hiding that part of his personality, that he’s ashamed of me, that I’m not good enough, and so on. Maybe he thinks I’ll embarrass him with my being a total idiot? On and on, this is just a slice of the thoughts I have about it. \n\nMy bf is very private and likes a lot of space and distance. He doesn’t like talking about himself. The only people in his life who even know I exist are his mom and her husband, and not because we were intentionally introduced. (Met them on our one year anni) \n\nAm I overreacting? Is this not really a big deal at all? I know my feelings are valid, but not sure my perspective is... TIA ######","completion":" NTA Not going to lie if he doesn't care enough to introduce you to his best friend after two years you shouldn't be with him. You should want to show your SO off or at least introduce them in the hopes that you'd all get along great.\n\nA couple months in I'd be suspicious that he refuses to let me meet never mind two fkn years. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSince I'm fully employed and living with my parents I have a lot of expendable income that I have spent around the house to make it more enjoyable for everyone. Over the past month my job has needed me to come in 7 days a week and I'm barely getting enough sleep. I let the kids use all the stuff I've bought as long as they do what the parents ask of them and be quite when I sleep, now that I get less time to sleep.\n\nI give them reminders before naps to please be quite and they usually give me attitude but then they're quite enough, but I was so exhausted yesterday that before I could make it upstairs I fell asleep on the living room beanbag while they were all quite. When my brothers girlfriend, who came over here recently and now stays here 24\/7, wanted to watch Netflix it was recommended to her that she should use airpods (which where the ones I gave to my brother for free) so that she doesn't wake me. (She has been the most adamant about not wanting to be quite, and had previously said \"I'm gonna be so loud, and if I wanna wake you up at 3am in the morning I will\") When I half woke up and asked her nicely to use the airpods she said \"No, no one even cares about your Xbox.\"\n\nI know that the only thing my brother wants to do during this time is to play CoD so I had been talking about taking away my Xbox if I can't sleep because everyone is loud. So that's what I did. It's been in my room for 24 hours and 4 family members have asked why they can't use \"the Xbox\" ( not even like a \"your Xbox\") When I tell them they blame me. I've told them that all they have to do is have her say that people care about it.\n\nAm I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA no one is except your brother's gf. Tell your brother to talk to her and you bring the Xbox back for everyone to use when his gf changes her attitude. She's a guest there and this \n\n>\"I'm gonna be so loud, and if I wanna wake you up at 3am in the morning I will\"\n\nAttitude is just disgusting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Since last week my grandma starter complaining that my room is dirty and unorganized. I clean my room at least every other day but apparently for her it is too little. \n\nSo, a few days ago I decided to go for a walk at the local park only to come back to my keyboard being off, my rgb strip mostly off with some LEDs flashing on and off and some stuff missing from my desk (like USB sticks) . I decided to go and ask her what happened and she told me that she decided to clean my desk because it was too crowded and dirty. Also she told me to be careful because something shocked her when she tried to remove the water she dropped on my desk.\n\nI immediately rushed back to my setup and tipped my keyboard over only to see water dripping from it. I then went outside and told to never go into my room and didn't talk to her since.\n\nFYI The keyboard was the Corsair k95 which costs 250$ where I live. ######","completion":" NTA no matter if people agree with how you live, if it’s a problem, that’s for your parents to decide. Clearly they thought your cleaning was enough.\n\nShe shouldn’t have touched your stuff and that’s an expensive fuckup. Sorry OP, hopefully a replacement will be sorted. Let your parents deal with this, but make it clear to both them and her that this was an invasion of your privacy and property and that you won’t be happy until something is done to rectify it. \n\nI’d also want an apology from her. If she doesn’t know enough about technology to know that water damage is a problem and that she should have unplugged it the moment water got on it, she doesn’t know enough to be near your desk. ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.\n\n Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA No adult living in their own home should see maintaining that household as \"helping out\". If you haven't seen it before, I highly recommend the comic [\"You Should Have Asked\"](https:\/\/www.workingmother.com\/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear#page-2). ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary. \n\nBefuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA next she’ll be saying you gotta give her gifts on the queens birthday because she’s your queen ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is 7 months and yesterday we had a fight(what about isn’t the point but because people will ask she sold my ps4 without asking me). She then tells me to sleep on the sofa when she goes to bed. I’ve had a bad back since a car accident in my late teens and the sofa makes it 10x worse(for the record I got hit by a drunk driver, wasn’t my fault). \n\nI said no, and if she had a problem she could sleep on the sofa. She said she can’t because she’s pregnant. I said too bad then and got into bed and tried to sleep. She then started yelling at me that it’s unfair to force her to sleep with me when she has no where else to go. Neither of us slept at all last night.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA neither of you can sleep on the couch in your conditions, and if you can't make up before bed, you're gonna have to deal with it. She also doesn't have the right to get rid og your things ######"}
{"prompt":"\nalright so, my dad has been very insistent that since i entered university, he needs to know where i am at all times. the options were either to live-share my location, or download one of those apps that inform you what your child is doing. and i tried to convince him otherwise. but it didn’t work out.\n\nso what i actually did was i got a burner phone and installed it there, and my dad’s been tracking the burner phone instead. if for example, i’m doing something he disapproves of, like going out to lunch with friends, buying cigarettes, being in a bar, etc. i leave it with a friend who won’t be leaving university.\n\nso when my dad travelled, i was going to sleepover in a friends house, and i told my dad i was pulling an all-nighter in my university, and gave it to a friend who was there studying.\n\nand then my friend all travelled back to their home countries.\n\nso that friend unthinkingly took the phone with him, and now my location shows up all the way across the globe. and my dad found that out yesterday, and was like wtf and assumed it to be a technological glitch - i told him it was probably because i use VPN’s.\n\nwell i told my girlfriend last night because i was finding it really funny that i was showing up in another country i clearly was not in, and she lost it at me and told me the reason my dad tracks me is because i do shit like this and therefore he can’t trust me, and that i should come clean.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA my parents tried to track me (21) and do track my younger siblings. I think if you are in uni then you should be able to have your own life and do what you want. Intentions may be good but it does not matter at that point. That cause you and your parent a lot of unnecessary stress. ######"}
{"prompt":"To preface this I 100% recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that my parents provide me and am in no way diminishing what they have given me so let’s please avoid the privelege comments and such\n\nMy parents typically take us on a big vacation(big as in long and far away, about 2-3 weeks and across the ocean) this upcoming year-summer of 2021- i am graduating from high school so my parents told me I could “plan” the trip in the sense that I can pick the destinations and activities that we do. My sister graduated from grade 8 this year and got a gift or two from my parents (gifts far above what grade eight graduation gifts would typically be imo) My sister and I typically have very different ideas of what a fun vacation is; she’s more of a relax on the beach at a resort type and I prefer outdoor adventure in a more temperate environment with activités like hiking. When my parents and I were talking about destinations for the trip my sister came in and started complaining about the destinations and asked why I could pick where we were going. Once my mom explained it to her she complained about how she just graduated from grade eight and didn’t get to do anything like that. The complaining frustrated me in part because it’s just annoying and also because she got a great gift for graduating grade eight (something in my country every kid does since it is literally impossible to fail) so I told her that graduating from grade eight means a lot less and is less important then graduating high school. I regret saying it and am not sure if it was too harsh but my parents Definetely think so and are telling me I have to apologize, which I plan on doing. AITA ######","completion":" NTA my parents didn’t even give me gifts for graduation grade 8. She can plan the trip when she finishes high school ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language, \n\nMy friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea. \n\nWell one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).\n\nWell, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.\n\nA month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she  sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up”  and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.\n\nWell one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.\n\nBefore you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.\n\nIf there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know \n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA My dude\/tte, you are exercising your self respect, and your \"friend\" is trying to set you up as a doormat.   \n\n\nYour friend is selfish, and entitled at that. I'd cut all ties until they understand it's not okay to cover their wants as needs and push them unto your own personal space and life. ######"}
{"prompt":"We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home.  It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point.  Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats.  I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it.   Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework.  She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so).   My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk.  He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more.  So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't.  It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today.  Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ######","completion":" NTA Momma! Hang in there. You've got this! Soon you will have two teenagers to handle.\n\nYou laid out the conditions. One meet them the other didn't. If your daughter had done her school work but your son didn't then he would have missed out instead. You treated them equally.\n\nMoving forward just keep in mind that treating your kids equally may not be treating them fairly and vice-versa.\n\nBy allowing your son to go, but daughter not to, you treated your kids fairly. \n\nThat's a sign of good parenting. \n\nDon't make it a comparison between the two kids. When dealing with a child make it solely about that child. Don't say son is able to do this but you can't. Instead say that you did not do the expected task. (All she will hear is that you are letting son do something if you don't.)\n\nTry asking your daughter what you can do to help her get her school work done. \n\nDoes she need more structure? (Help her create a schedule that works for her, be sure to highlight and allow breaks.) \n\nDoes she need more motivation? (As soon as she gets an assignment done she gets a 15 minute social media break. As soon as she's done for the day she gets an hour of uninterrupted screen time. If she gets all her assignments done at the end of the week then she can have a later bedtime on Friday night, or whatever an appropriate reward. The goal is to set easy to attain goals with instant rewards.)\n\nDoes she need help? (If you can't help her, encourage her to reach out to her teacher.)\n\nDoes she need more freedom? (Not working at the kitchen table, or working outside, a different place in the house to work on each subject. Getting to pick which order to due her assignments. Starting later in the morning. Staying up a bit later. Going for a quick 15 minute walk before starting. Set aside one minute every day that she can scream and curse and yell as loud as she wants with no judgment to help let out her frustration.)\n\nYou are doing right by your kids. It's hard to see when you are in the thick of it. \n\nIf she is being particularly difficult and getting worse, encourage her to communicate with you. Ask her one thing that you do that you that she doesn't like. Then ask her one thing that you do that she does like. If she's uncomfortable talking, create a private notebook where she can write her responses. She can ask difficult or embarrassing questions without judgment as well. Break the ice by telling her a story from your teenage experience where you thought your parents were being unfair and how you think about it now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.\n\nSo I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)\n\nI tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.\n\nI don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Minetest is also an option. Making you lend your account is not. And most gamers are adults. And if she has money to spend on a horse, then she has plenty of money to spend on a cheap game. Mom shouldn't be cheap like that.\n\n[Give her this and tell her it's Minecraft, but free.](https:\/\/www.minetest.net\/) ######"}
{"prompt":"The bride and groom have no issue, no dad (who is in church leadership, has no issue. Only my mother, who is the church secretary has an issue with me bringing my service dog, Cain, to the wedding, \"because the church has carpeting and leadership won't like it\".\n\nShe sent me a text saying \"What are you going to do with Kain during the wedding? You can't bring him in the church\". A long, drawn out phone call (because she kept yelling and I kept hanging up) and finally I called my dad, and asked him to talk to church leadership about bringing him. \n\nShe's never been very supportive and has a way of dismissing my diagnoses as \"just my depression\" or I'm \"overreacting\". She has also been acting as if Cain is just a very expensive pet, not a medical working dog. He's mobility service dog for my agrresive uncontrolled Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spondyloarthropy,  Fibromyalgia and balance issues. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA maybe you should remind your mom of the patriot saint of animals! Ffs the dogs name is Cain bet your moms name isn’t in the bible. She is not a very smart woman and just wants drama. Your mom is tah! ######"}
{"prompt":"I have both BRCA alleles (was tested by a genetic counsellor several years ago) meaning I will most likely die of breast or ovarian cancer by age 60. I have dealt with many surgeries as well as radio therapy throughout my life relating to this; I am currently dealing with cervical dysplasia (pre-cancerous growths in 2\/3 of my cervix.)\n\nMy best friend recently started dating a man who lied about having testicular cancer. Shortly after saying this and meeting me, as I offered to take him to a support group session, he admitted to lying about having cancer and only wanted the attention. He laughed it off as if it were a joke and never apologized. I never saw him again. The fact she is with someone like this makes me sick. \n\nSo today I called her not knowing she was with him, and when she picked up and I saw  were together, something came over me and I asked “hey ____, why are you so sick in the head that you lied about having cancer? I want you to know you are the absolute scum of the earth and there’s a special spot waiting in hell for you” then hung up.\n\nSo.... am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA lying about having an illness is sociopath behavior. Like no really, look it up in the DSM. Please make sure your friend is safe ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup. \n\nOne of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.\n\nEvery time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.\n\nLast week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.\n\nOn the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said \"Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?\"\n\nShe was like \"did you come here just for this?\" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.\n\nShe got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.\n\nThe cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.\n\nLucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.\n\nI feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.\n\nAITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######","completion":" NTA Lucy is an adult and needs to grow up and pay her share of the bills. You did put pressure on her but like... you shouldn't have had to do that at all? ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend picked up chess recently. I have been a chess player all my life. Now my boyfriend isn't very good but he is improving. \n\nWe played a 10+0 rapid game online just like an hour ago and he absolutely destroyed me. Very suspicious. He was celebrating but I decided to check the analysis and it was 1-0-0. Basically he made 1 inaccuracy and zero mistakes or blunders during the game. He also somehow knew the mainline najdorf(a chess opening) quite deep. He might just have studied it but I personally find it very unlikely. I asked my bf if he cheated and he got very defensive and upset and said I should have some trust in him. I said I am not buying this, the najdorf is one of the sharpest openings in all of chess and its hard for GMs to get 1-0-0. He called me bitch and ended the call. \n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA lol, I had a roommate who used to cheat at scrabble to get 9 letter words pretty much every turn. (They would have to use the bathroom, or go grab something from the kitchen, etc...)\n\nNot the end of the world, but so annoying! ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months.  This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it.  I asked her if she was \"allergic to stairs,\" which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude.  FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA lol, hope this is the biggest issue in your marriage ######"}
{"prompt":"So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).\n\nSo I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).\n\nSo my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.\n\nThat's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual \" I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry\" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said  \"sure\" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said \" I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?\" and she lit up thinking she could win again.\n\nLong story short I beat her 40-2\n\nShe ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo Reddit AITA ######","completion":" NTA lol you played the game and you won. That's all there is to it. If anything, if you would have let her win because you didn't want to deal with her bad behavior then you would be TA, because you would be letting her think that she would get away with everything and she would stay entitled. But you didn't do that thankfully, so you are NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)\n\nI (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.\n\nThe only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it. \n\nAfter class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt. \n\nI haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?\n\nETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######","completion":" NTA lol ur prof sounds like a creep and u should complain to higher staff and say old dude is staring at ur titties and emailing u about it tell u ur distracting and how to dress. Like wow he's a prof with the attention span of a horny 13 yr old. Yuck. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am a 16 year old male who is half white half Japanese. My dad was scouted to be a English teacher in Japan where he met my mom which they had 2 girls and then moved back to Canada and had me. I have dual citizenship for japan and Canada I can go to either freely. Not counting this year but every march we would spend in japan with my moms family. Today I was in a discord call with people I have never met before and one of them was a straight up otaku (nice way to day weeb) I then said oh you speak Japanese and he said yes so I just rambled off a sentence in Japanese because I was excited it's not every day I get to speak Japanese to people who arent my family. And this guy giggles and says my Japanese \"needs some work\" which I then told him in Japanese my history with the language which he responded in Japanese with and me being upset about the first comment completely dissected what he said and pointed out all of the flaws in his grammar or structuring. Which he said in English knit pick much? I said I'm only doing what you are doing. Then he went silent and the topic changed. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta lol more or less seems like a weird thing to do to a native speaker \nLike was he speaking formal?? Cause I could maybe see a non native speaker of a language not getting slang and such ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a throwaway account and I sincerely tried to word this correct. \n\nLast year I got really sick and I lost a lot of weight, resulting with me on TPN and a feeding tube. I get 100% of my nutrition from both of these lines. I had to move back home and my mom became qualified to be my caregiver and she is being paid for helping me. When I get eat I get sick 100% of the time but I still want to be able to eat and taste food, and my doctor encourages eating so that I can maintain some function. My doctor knows I get sick and still expects me to eat and I want to eat so I do. My mother thinks I'm selfish because shes my caregiver and she knows I'll just get sick if I eat, which is more stress and anxiety for her. I talked to her over it and I told her that the majority of the time when I get sick I dont make any mess, and if I do I clean it up. She said that it's more than that because when I'm sick it adds a bunch of stress to the family because they are worrying about me instead of doing their own business. I genuinely feel bad about that but also I'm hungry. My TPN and tube bypasses my stomach so I dont get any satisfaction or fullness and I really miss food. My mom thinks I'm TAH for adding extra stress and I dont mean to be. I want to eat without it affecting anyone else but because that's impossible AITA ######","completion":" NTA listen to your doctor. Your mother isn't an AH for being worried about you, but she she sucks for trying to guilt you into not doing something the doc recommended, especially since you're the one doing the cleaning up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice. \n\nTLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######","completion":" NTA let her know, and let her know that she can file with Pornhub to have the video removed under revenge porn laws. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and we were talking about what things we look for in a partner. She asked me if there were any things that would be dealbreakers for me, and I said smoking. My mom is a smoker and I have always hated it. Everything in our house smells like smoke and it's gross (and never goes away no matter how many times you wash your clothes\/blankets), plus it gives me headaches all the time. I don't care if people smoke, that's their business, but I would NOT want to live with a smoker again and it would definitely be a dealbreaker in a relationship.\n\nNow my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked. Which isn't even true, as I have other friends who smoke and it's fine. I just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. But my friend when and told all the rest of our friend group, and they're all angry at me! I tried to explain better, but they won't hear it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA kissing a smoker is gross. Sitting in the same room as a smoker is gross. Ash trays are gross. Listening to someone with smoker's cough is grating. Waiting for people to finish their smoke sucks. Being asked to stop and pick up a $10 pack of cigarettes is annoying.\n\nSmokers and cigarettes are a deal breaker for me too. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister-in-law is high risk immunosuppressed, shes been told to limit social contact for 12 weeks (8wks left) but shes been nipping to the shop etc.\n\nToday shes invited herself and her 6 year old daughter over to our garden for a social distance cuppa. This would be fine if it wasn't for the 6 year old being incredibly naughty.\n\nI have an 8mo and a 3yo, I dont want them playing with my niece, if not for their own safety for the safety of my sister in law. But idk how to social distance kids. Especially ones that aren't mine and wont listen. My wife disagrees and says I'm being irrational, theres no way to stop my sister in law coming over and \"shes been stuck inside and wants fresh air\".\n\nI dont get it. Am I overreacting? AmItheAsshole? ######","completion":" NTA kids are massive disease vectors, keep them separated as much as you can ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened tonight on reddit lol so it's still fresh and I'm heated and annoyed. I am a high school senior trying to choose between colleges. I made a reddit post tonight on one of the college's subs. A professor commented on my post and that's the part that went downhill...\n\nProf: What's better - going to a more prestigious school but not graduating in Engineering or going to a good school and graduating in Engineering?\n\nMe: If I'm going to struggle in Engineering, wouldn't it be better to go to the better school? \"I know ivy league colleges have higher graduation rates overall so it  seems like that's a safer bet in case I can't make it in Engineering\"\n\nProf: Highights the quoted part above and replies \"Not sure where you came up with that. The available stats suggest the opposite\"\n\nThen basically it devolves into me asking for that data and the professor either ignoring me or giving me irrelevant data that doesn't back up that claim. I then made a post directly asking if they were just ignoring my request for data when they said \"the available stats suggest the opposite\". They then replied that they did not say that.\n\nSo I looked back and they edited their post to say \"Not sure where you came up with that. Is it college specific?\". Luckily another user sent me screenshots so I have proof they edited their post. \n\nI just asked for a professor to be professional and address the claim they made, but instead, they edited their post and act like I'm being unreasonable. It's infuriating because I thought I was being somewhat respectful to an extent, asking the professor for the data and giving an opportunity to prove their point. Anyway, I know it's petty but WIBTA if I made a post on that sub (if allowed) to see if they'll hold their professor accountable or if they will just be professional? ######","completion":" NTA Keep em accountable ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says \"jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007\" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######","completion":" NTA just speak to him and explain that you would feel uncomfo with the tattoo, it seems like he thinks a big gesture like this will make up for him not being around but I'd just 2explain that making memories going forward is more important than a tattoo...that's if you want to spend time with him obviously. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######","completion":" NTA just because you were a diligent student and kept documents to help you study doesn't guarantee everyone gets to benefit from your effort. It's like taking notes in class and someone demanding you share your notes. You keep doing what you're doing. ######"}
{"prompt":"There’s a lot going on here but I’ll keep it as short as possible. My husband and I live fairly close to his parents (like 15 min) and his brother who has severe intellectual disabilities at age 36. \n\nMy husband is a doctor and with the pandemic we’ve decided to live apart for the time being so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally infecting me. So now I’ve moved in with my in laws and his brother. \n\nI love his in laws like my own parents. His brother, however, is another story. He’s disabled but he has an incredibly foul mouth and very offensive opinions that he’s formed from years surfing deep corners of the internet. \n\nBut he’s disabled and is not all there sometimes, so I do my best to help out and keep my mouth shut. Last Saturday I was going on a walk with him (daily exercise) when we were walking past this big grocery store parking lot. We see a dad and son loading groceries into their car and my BIL started yelling racial insults at them (they were Asian). \n\nI was horrified and I tried pulling him away. But it was heartbreaking seeing the look on the little boy’s face and the exhausted\/defeated expression on his dad’s face as they drove away. I was so angry that night I called my husband and basically told him I will rent a hotel room myself because I can’t stand another minute in the same house as his brother. \n\nIt’s been a week and my husband has told me he can’t sleep because he’s so upset over what I told him. I admit I used harsh words and fully laid out my feelings to him. He said he still loves his brother and can’t stand the thought of us never getting along. AITA for telling him directly how I felt about this brother? I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept it to myself. ######","completion":" NTA just because someone suffers a disability or illness it doesn't mean you have to accept their behaviour. The brother may not understand what's wrong or offensive or why, I don't know the details obviously, but that doesn't mean you have to put yourself in that situation nor gloss over it just because it is a disability or illness.\n\nYou have your boundaries and feelings and you're entitled to them.\n\nIt's a shitty situation given the details but you have to look out for you. I understand for your partner it's not great to hear and understandably he would love you to get along but he needs to understand that somethings are unacceptable even given the circumstances. What that man and child were subjected to was not fair and your partner can't ignore it as a reason for anything.\n\nYou don't have to be friends or like the brother but if you're willing to be civil and such explain that to your partner. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (M27) lived in a smallish town for most of my childhood and teen years and the people you go to school with in kindergarten are pretty much the same people you spend the next 13-14 years with at school. Well one of the kids I went to school with that entire time bullied me both socially and physically to the point he actually put me in the hospital once and generally just made my life hell every chance he got. After I graduated I left town and hadn't gone back in some time. Recently I went back to spend some time with a lifelong friend since things there had opened back up due to COVID and while we were at a bar we ran into him. He recognized me and approached me and after talking for a bit he apologized for how he bullied me and I rejected it flat out telling him he made my life hell for 14 years an apology in a bar just doesnt cut it. Everyone was then mad at me for not accepting it since hes well liked around town and is seen a nice guy. I will admit he wasn't rude and seemed like he really meant it but I just cant get past everything he did to me. Am I the asshole for rejecting his apology? ######","completion":" NTA just because someone offers an apology doesn't mean that you have to accept it. He may be a different person now, but that doesn't change what happened. ######"}
{"prompt":"FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!\n\nAbout two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.\n\nRelationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.\n\nI decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.\n\nI am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.\n\nHave a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######","completion":" NTA Jesus. She IS being incredibly racist, and you need to run, my dude. Run fast and run far. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my background was a picture of a dog that said \"what the FUCK is oatmeal\" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was \"traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said \"spy on individuals you don't know.\nSo AITA \n\nEDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######","completion":" NTA its your phone background, you can set it to be whatever you want, and you have a perfectly reasonable expectation of privacy here. Your dad should work on not raising a snoop and a narc. ######"}
{"prompt":"In high school (who am I kidding all of school) I was a huge nerd. GPA had to be 4.0 or I felt sick so I obviously studied a lot. I sacrificed countless hours I could have spent having fun and hanging out with friends to get good grades. So in 9th grade biology we had a test I had studied hours and hours for cuz I wasn't sure on the material and it counted for 40% of our grade. So day of the test comes and the teacher passes it out. We had to cut out strips of paper with descriptions of I think cells and glue them in the right box. (Dont ask my why in 9th grade we were cutting out colored paper like we were in prek) so I cut all mine out and I'm excited.  I know them all! So I start lining em up on the paper. I look up and notice the guy across from me (our desks faced each other) was copying me! Like not glancing over because he wasn't sure on one thing but copying my entire test. I was livid! So I quickly rearranged all my strips to the wrong boxes and he does the same. As soon as he turns his paper in I rearranged mine to the correct answers, glued them down and turned my test in. When she returned our tests I got 100% and he got.....0% The look on his face. Priceless.  He just kept looking at my test then down at his. Neither of us ever mentioned it. So was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA its his fault for cheating, you just taught him a lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"This relates to an online marketplace for guitars. Last December I was selling a guitar of mine for just about $6,000 which someone bought. I had to ship it to them. I made sure to document my packaging (a dozen or so photos in varying states of packed) as well as I took a photo of me dropping it off at the PO. I've been buying and selling and shipping guitars online for ten-ish years at this point and I do this for every guitar I ship. I shipped it out, I got my money, and I thought this was the end of it.\n\nTwo weeks go by and the buyer says he didn't receive the guitar. Tracking says it was delivered. They contact the marketplace site and try to get the situation mediated. I was told it's my responsibility to ensure delivery. I call the courier, they confirm it was delivered (they even have a photo of the courier dropping it off). I thought this was the end of it, but nope.\n\nThe courier said if the buyer didn't have it, it was porch pirated. Despite paying $300 extra for the full $6000 insurance, they won't pony up. Said it's out of their control. At this point the marketplace said I needed to refund the buyer and eat the cost.\n\nThis seemed so fishy to me. If it was indeed porch pirated, then the courier should pay for it. But there's no proof: the buyer could have got it and just wants their money, too. It seemed they were beginning the process of automatically taking the money out of my account, so I went to the bank and closed that account, withdrawing all my money. I switched banks and washed my hands of it.\n\nWas I the asshole here? If it truly was porch pirated, I feel for the buyer but this wasn't my fault. Nowhere in the marketplace policy guide does it mention porch pirates, nor does the courier's website. Friends of mine have said this is the cost of doing business and I should have ate the cost. I told many of them to eat shit. ######","completion":" NTA its a scam and he wanted the guitar for free. Its a very popular scam nowadays ######"}
{"prompt":"I start this by acknowledging there are far far greater issues in the world than a bean bag. However, this is my predicament.\n\nI (21F) have a really large fluffy bean bag that was gifted to me by my parents and as it’s so large it stays in the sitting room. It’s really nice and comfy and guests enjoy sitting on it and that’s all fine, the issue comes with one contingent of my family.\n\nMy aunt and uncle have a child (4F) who is there miracle child and as a result of this boundaries are not a thing at all. It is near impossible to tell this child no as her parents do not use the word. Her parents (my aunt and uncle) are also crap with boundaries and usually just attempt to walk over anyone else. On their last visit food\/drink was split on the bean bag which they didn’t clean up making the damage worse. It was fine, everything was cleaned up and went back to normal after they left. Myself and my parents are thinking of implementing a ‘no food or drink on or near the bean bag policy’ however I am dubious as to the affect of this policy as like I said boundaries seemingly don’t exist. So I want to move the bean bag to my room for the week they are visiting.\n\nI don’t blame the child; she’s 4, highly energetic and spoilt which isn’t her fault. Also she’s a kid and accidents happen. However given the that boundaries are hard to implement with these three WIBTA if I moved the bean bag or am I being a selfish 21 year old who clearly needs to worry about larger problems. Like I said I appreciate this is a very non vital problem. ######","completion":" NTA it’s yours you’re allowed to want it to stay nice and not want kids crawling on it. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year and I only just found this subreddit. Also first ever post so go easy on me.  \nLast year one of my colleagues got diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed to go through chemo.  \nChemotherapy makes all of your hair fall out in clumps and eventually you wind up bald. Some of my colleagues, both male and female, decided to shave themselves bald to show support.  \nHowever, I hardly know this colleague (I had only been with the company 2 months) so while I expressed my support and hope he pulls through, I wouldn't be shaving my head.  \nWhen shaving-day came around, both the colleague and a few others that had shaved themselves expressed they were hurt I hadn't shaved bald and asked what was up.  \nI said I still absolutely support him in every way, but I'm just not shaving myself bald. He seemed offended and the now bald gang said I was being a dick and I might as well laugh in his face. When I asked how come they aren't giving some of the others the same lecture, apparently it was because they were women and \"needed\" the long hair.  \nI'm almost certain I am in the right and they're being unreasonable, but I need a sanity check. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA it’s weird they are shaming you - IMO you could be his best friend in the entire world and you still wouldn’t be the AH for not shaving your head.\nAs long as you’re being sensitive and supportive you’re not in the wrong. If it bothers you maybe talk to the guy privately and let him know you’re there if he needs support but you’re not shaving your head. ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and I live in a 600+ sq ft apartment on a bottom floor with 2 cats. Quite recently, my gf had to make the decision to put down her dog due to liver failure. It was very fast and sudden, because we went in for a upset stomach and expected medication, not a lack of dog.\n\nShe immediatly started looking for another dog to adopt. I completly understand this, because getting another dog is part if the grieving process. However, this is where I wonder if I'm the asshole: I told her no. \n\nMy gf likes a \"beagle\/hound\" mix that isn't fully housetrained and used to be abused, so the world is still scary for them. I'm very hesitant on getting a dog, because for our last dog, a lot of the walking\/training resposibilities fell on me. I would get guilt-tripped into taking the dog out for walks by myself, while my gf would NEED me to be with her. I don't have the patience for dogs and while I like them, I'm more of a cat person anyways. I'm not ready for more financial costs and the emotional\/physical responsibility of another adult dog that has problems. We're gone 9 hours a day and we can't always afford dog walking\/sitting. However, its really hard to see my gf go through something like this. ######","completion":" NTA It’s very soon after the death of her last dog, and you also live in that apartment so you have a say. It’s gonna feel like you’re the asshole for a while, but I do think you guys should sleep in getting a new animal so that she can grieve fully. I just had my family dog die of cancer a couple weeks ago so I get it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.\n\nThis has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.\n\nFast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.\n\nBecause of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!\n\nTL; DR\nMy grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######","completion":" NTA it’s unfortunate that your grandma can’t make them anymore, but I don’t think you should destroy an heirloom to placate your mother. It was a gift, given to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened in February. im 20 years old and in early feb I started having really bad cramps and was spotting. (my period is usually irregular and can hurt, but this was bad). after a day of suffering and my flow getting heavier by bf took me to the ER and called my mom and stepdad. the doctors confirmed i was miscarrying and told me i was around 11 wks and the remaining tissue was removed. my mom found out about the miscarriage and was really sympathetic because she'd had a lot of trouble getting\/staying pregnant in the past. but my boyfriend and I don't want kids yet, and we actually have money saved in case we needed an abortion.\n\nso now my mom, step dad, sisters, bf's mom and dad, and grandmother all know about it (idk who told who) they were all very sad and told me how its okay to grieve and mourn, but i wouldnt have kept it anyways, so now i just feel bad about making everyone else feel bad. my mom and stepdad paid for the hospital bills, and my bf's mom even told me a story of her own miscarriage and how hard it was for her.\n\nmy mom is esp upset that her \"first\" grandchild was lost and has been babying me when she can. i dont have the heart to tell them i dont want kids and was gonna get rid of it anyways, and that im relieved not sad. no one but my boyfriend knows about the abortion plans. even like three months later I still have people asking if im okay (mostly my mom). it just makes me feel guilty\n\nim also kinda upset at my bf, cause if he hadnt called my mom she wouldnt know about the pregnancy at all. i get why he did it but still.\n\naita for being dishonest? ######","completion":" NTA it’s ok to mourn an abortion too. Just because you’re not ready for a child, or not in a place to continue a pregnancy, or don’t want a baby, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the emotions that come with maki g that choice. If you’re not grieving, that’s ok too. But you don’t have to tell yourself that you don’t deserve their sympathy. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.\n\nMe, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent. \n\nThe house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.\n\nWell one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.  \n\nI want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time. \n\nYes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content. \n\nI am a massive fucking child I know. \n\nI told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s  immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it\n\nI know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar. \n\nBut every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle. \n\nMoney also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare. \n\nSo, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ######","completion":" NTA it’s not hurting anybody. Bounce away. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.\nI was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.\nFor my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player\/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.\nFor my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.\nIt ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded. \nDiscussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA It’s not even that it was sexist, it wasn’t even a gift. I was personal grooming equipment to save them money. It’s one thing if they got that for you when they bought you other personal hygiene stuff but it was not what the spirit of a gift should be. ######"}
{"prompt":"So at my job me and “Cindy” have been friends throughout university &amp; when we graduated we both went to this company and have been here for a couple years now. I’m now 27m and she’s 28f and has been in a long term relationship for about 7 years. Her BF “Tim” was a good buddy of mine and we still hang out from time to time. Anyways so their 7th anniversary is today. Cindy’s been excited because she’s been sure that Tim’s gonna propose to her tonight. She was telling the office that he booked dinner at a suuuuper upscale restaurant in our city and some other fun things as well.\n\nI was mentioning this to my GF when I got home and then I was like Tim better propose tonight cause she’s been looking forward to it for SO long. My GF just gave a weird look and didn’t respond. Then later on, Cindy was sending messages in our work group chat and she was saying that she had already gotten drunk and if he proposes then she’ll just be a blubbering mess and won’t even be able to say yes. I started laughing and then my girlfriend asked whats up and I was telling her then she interrupted me and said it’s a bit strange that I’m so invested in their relationship. I said that’s an exaggeration, I have no emotional or otherwise stake in that relationship but I think they’re a great pair and should get married because I know for a fact that both of them want to. \n\nAnyways I tried to explain this to her and she wouldn’t budge on the matter. She’s iced me out for the rest of the day so I just left and went back to my place. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA it’s normal to get excited for someone else’s proposal. she’s overreacting ######"}
{"prompt":"This is more of an “Are *We* The Assholes”, because I’m speaking for everyone participating minus the friend in question. \n\nWe’re currently in the early stages of planning our trip to Japan for next year (fingers crossed things are safe enough by then). This will be our second group trip to Japan, the first one being last year (which the friend in question chose not to come on, and even openly doubted that we’d be capable of successfully organizing it). \n\nAnyway, now that the planning stage is upon us again, he’s decided that he wants to come this time, and took the liberty of inviting his girlfriend along without consulting any of us first.\n\nThis left pretty much all of us with a sour taste; not because we don’t like his girlfriend’s company, but because, like the last trip obviously was, this trip was also conceptualized as a guys trip. So today I volunteered to be the one to speak up about it to him, and he’s not taking it so smoothly. \n\nI tried not to be blatantly confrontational; I said that although this was meant to be a guys trip, we still don’t want to tell anyone they can’t come. So we want to try and find a middle ground, and we think that there should be another Airbnb separate from the guys Airbnb so that everyone’s comfortable. And that we can still plan our outings together etc.\n\nHe doesn’t seem to understand that what he wants to do conflicts with our collective intention of having a guys trip, and has objected to all our reasoning. I feel like we’re not in the wrong at the end of the day, but I’m trying to keep an open mind to different perspectives in case there’s somehow something that I’m missing here. Thanks for your time ######","completion":" NTA it’s a GUYS trip. As a women myself if I planed a girls trip I wouldn’t want bfs or husband around either, because that defeats the purpose. I hate to sound sexist but for me PERSONALLY there are things I talk more in-depth with my girl friends than my partner. I assume that’s the same with guys. I sure know my bf talks to his friends especially his gamer friends differently than he talk to me. Your friend doesn’t seem to know how to take time away from his gf and it’s not a bad thing when it’s only his time but he’s forcing his gf on you guys which is not right. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this isn't a big problem but both my mother and brother see me as an ass hole for not sharing my PlayStation with my older brother(22) who used to own his own playstation but sold it when he was stuck for money and every day when wake up he is playing it (shared room) and if I am on it and leave the room for 10minutes or more he goes on it and doesn't even ask not only that but he uses my account instead of his own because he stupidly bought things and won't make his own account because he already bought stuff\n\n     AITA!?? ######","completion":" NTA it's yours and he is old enough to be working and get his own, he should also know that you ask before using someone else's property. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my partner are getting married in August, and we have had RSVPs back from people who say they are coming and add a +1 to the invite, and I have trouble confronting people to tell them no...\n\nBut my real AITA grievance is my mother... \n\nShe randomly calls and tells me to add this cousin or that cousin because they are family... \n\nA side of the family I have little to no contact with because after my father passed away (when I was 16) my mother upped and left me about 2 years later to deal with a broken house and no income while she went back to live with her parents.\n\nSo AITA here for telling her no and she can't just invite whoever she likes? ######","completion":" NTA it's your wedding. It's super rude for people to just tack on a +1 when it's not on their invite. wtf D: ######"}
{"prompt":"To be honest she is very lazy and does not train her dog or bring it outside. He shots and pees all over their house and she doesn’t care. She wants to bring the dog because she refuses to put it in a kennel. She asks all the time and makes up a sob story on why she needs to bring him. I told her If she started actually taking care of her dog that he could come. My friend told me I was an asshole for causing a family member to be inconvenienced and that I judged the way she cared for her dog. ######","completion":" NTA it's your house, your rules. If she wants to bring her dog she's going to have to make sure it doesn't mess in your home. If not, she can leave it behind or have someone watch it. Just because it's her dog doesn't mean you have to cater to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA it's your birthday to spend as you wish. \n\nHowever nobody should be out socialising right now, being around those outwith those they share a home with.  Or helping their parents or partners parents, build a deck if they don't live there too, which is not at all essential contact... ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them. \n\nThe reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match. \n\nOf course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc. \n\nWhen I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding. \n\nSome friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.\n\nEdit: Clarity ######","completion":" NTA it's your big day you lovely bride to be, it's not dramatic its sensible. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.\n\nShe’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.\n\nI told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA It's silly to bar a person from listening to a style of music. I can understand of some certain songs are banned, but blacklisting something across the board is stupid. Your house, your rules. Her mom is an ex for a reason, she does not control what you allow your children to do while under your roof. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just called security on my neighbor. It was around 830pm today (which is a Friday). They were holding a jam session including a drum set, saxophone, bass and singer. They were playing so loud I could everything clearly through my bedroom walls and my walls were shaking.  He's played loud music in the past but has stopped not long after and it's never been a jam session. So I never called on him until today. \n\nAnyway they decided to leave after security talked to them. The singer called out my apartment and others as they walked away. She called us all a bitch and said that she plays loud music until 3am where she lives. \n\nAITA for calling on them at 830pm on a Friday? I know noise comes with the territory in apartments,  but this just seemed outrageous to me. ######","completion":" NTA it's really not cool to have a jam session or band practice in an apartment. I mean maybe all acoustic and in the daytime but not loud enough to shake the walls.  That's just assholery. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that. \n\nIt’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ######","completion":" NTA It's not your cat, no matter how much she wants it to be. If she's that serious about it, she needs to go talk to the owners. My ex had an indoor\/outdoor cat, and would be devastated if someone stole him like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 18 and was in the kitchen making a tuna fish sandwich. I was spreading tuna but doing it slowly because I was lost in thought. The sandwich was for myself. My dad came in hovering over me. He started lecturing me on how to spread it faster. I said I don't need help. He started sarcastically ranting about \"wooow you know how to make a sandwich at 18\". He started trying to show me how to spread it faster and I said I don't want help. He got really mad and was yelling about how its his job to show me the right way and I'm disrespecting him. I yelled to leave me alone and he got super angry at me. ######","completion":" NTA it's his job to let you spread some fucking tuna ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandmother was always very sick, and I was the only one who took care of her. Tbh I’m a medical student so it was easier for me to know what she needed, even if I was just cooking  her food or massaging her. I have 9 uncles but she decided a few days ago to change her testimony and to give me everything, including her big house. My parents found that to be unfair and my uncles keep pressuring me to tell her to change her mind, but she keep telling them that since I was the only one who took care of her, then she wants to give me everything, tbh it’s a big amount of money, but I am afraid that my uncles will hate me, and they even started to gossip that I always knew about her plan, while I didn’t! I know that this money can be beneficial for me and for my student loans but I am afraid that it will split our family, cause I know that my uncles might need that money as much as me. Does it truly makes me an asshole  if I accept take everything? ######","completion":" NTA it's her choice and honestly they seem like douchebags for being mad she is giving it to the person who's helping her ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.\n\nFast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.\n\nSo a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.\n\nNow he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.\n\nReddit wise ones, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA it's clear he never saw you as friend only as girl to hook up his friends with. ######"}
{"prompt":"First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior. \n\nRecently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet. \n\nAlso about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.\nSo am I the asshole for telling her that\/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ######","completion":" NTA it would be petty, deliberate and inconsiderate for her to choose your birthday as her wedding date. That just guarantees that her future anniversaries will take attention away from your bday, as well as the big day causing problems for you this year. What an AH move. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class. \nTill this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character. \nAITA ?? ######","completion":" NTA it was a very minor operation, and she really shouldn’t be guilting you over this AT ALL. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.\nSo I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######","completion":" NTA it was a gift for you not your child\n\nHowever the way you've told the story makes it sound like you are both the children asking dad for time on the game. You are the parent and you need to explain to your child that the game is not his, and set reasonable time restrictions ######"}
{"prompt":"I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them! \n\nHowever they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age &amp; gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family! \n\nAITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ######","completion":" NTA It took 4 weeks for me to make enough of a recovery to do any real tasks other than look after our daughter. It took 6 months to make a full recovery.\nI was out of hospital 12 hours after she was born and made the stupid decision to have my family come over to see the baby 4 days later. I could hardly walk.\n\nYou may be one of the lucky ones who makes a quick recovery however I don't think you wrong here.\nYou will be exhausted beyond anything you've every felt before and I doubt you'll be in any condition physically or mentally to perform even this simple task.\n\nWhat if like my daughter, your baby decides to hang in there (my daughter was born a week after she was due) then what?\n\nYour husband and his family need to back off, you've offered an alternative and they dismissed you and your feelings. Seems a little self absorbed and judgemental to me. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52. \n\nI got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37\/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.\n\nWell when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.\n\nI know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.\n\nI did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ######","completion":" NTA it sucks to be a parent on occasion, and this is one of them. They should shut the door, it doesn't take that much effort ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.\n\nAnyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.\n\nWe laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are \"bullying\" the kids. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA it sounds like your kids learned the age old lesson of what goes around comes around, and it was better than other forms of punishment you could have done. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (19f) and my sister (21f) haven’t gotten along since we were very young, as when she turned 11 she developed an anxiety disorder and couldn’t go to school. She refused to talk to anyone much less me. She got a therapist and started going back to school, but became rude, spoiled and downright abusive at times to my parents due to them not disciplining har as they were afraid this would trigger her anxiety. This means she is extremely messy, insists on eating in her room and not taking her plates down until they get mouldy, and would occasionally throw objects at people if she got angry.\n\nI also have issues with her as she refused to let me see a therapist (even if they were completely different to hers) until she stopped seeing her therapist. This happened when I was around 16 when I was almost immediately diagnosed with clinical depression, and had to be hospitalised at one point. I have no way of knowing if seeing a therapist earlier would have stopped this, however I had known that mentally something was wrong before this, and it has caused feelings of resentment.\n\nNow both me and my sister are going to College and my family want us to share an apartment that they would be willing to pay for. I refused and said that I would pay for my own apartment. My sister started calling me a selfish AH because of this, and my parents didn’t back me up. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA It sounds like you really need to get away from your sister and your parents for the sake of your mental health. I wish you all the best at university, it's a great experience, join lots of clubs and meet lots of new people, your world will expand so much. ######"}
{"prompt":"OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so  would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.\nNow, this is where things went awry. I asked her: \n'What about your career plans?'\n'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients\/customers\/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'\nSo we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.\nI told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.\nSo, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ######","completion":" NTA it sounds like she wants you to give up your career or at least cut it back alot so she can both home school the kids and have a full time career herself? Am\nI reading that right?\n\nBecause that’s extremely unreasonable of her. You’re willing to support her pursuing a new career path or homeschooling your children. Doing both isn’t feasible and expecting you to give up your career so she can do both isn’t fair ######"}
{"prompt":"Sounds weird, I know. So this happened a few years ago but it gets brought up once in a while. My wife and I (28 M) were having some financial difficulties. We had a bill due and didn't have the money to pay for it. We were getting a check on the following Monday and didn't want to accrue any late fees or get a ding on our credit. \n\nMy sister (20 F) was regularly talking about having extra income, buying stuff. Basically I knew she was fine in the money department. I asked her if we could borrow $50 until Monday. It was Friday when I asked. Her response was \"What's in it for me?\" \n\nI got really pissed off. I had explained to her the situation and that was her response. I told her to forget it and walked out. \n\nFast forward about a month. My wife and I were going to the grocery store, my sister asked if she could tag along. Yeah, sure. (We both lived in my mom's house at the time.) She said she didn't need anything, just wanted to hang out. \n\nAs we're shopping she kept seeing things she wanted and grabbing them. Pretty soon her arms were pretty full. She asked if she could put them in the shopping cart. Normally I'd have said yeah, but I was still a little pissed about the money thing so I said \"Whats in it for me?\". \n\nShe turned bright red and stormed off. Came back with her own cart and refused to talk to me the rest of the day. \n\nMy wife said I was being petty and an ass. I know it was petty, but I was trying to show her how it felt to have someone say that. \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA it must have taken a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to approach your sister to borrow money and she should have realised that, for her to respond the way she did was an asshole move. \n\nFast forward and you were right to bring it back up, petty maybe but must have felt good. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends. \n\nCOVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.\n\nSo, am I the asshole?? ######","completion":" NTA it makes way more sense for you to finish your Bachelor’s next semester while he works, and then switch off after you graduate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######","completion":" NTA it is weird af to choose your child’s birthday to remarry... what is wrong with the other 364 days in the year? ######"}
{"prompt":"I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell. \n\nAs you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their \"so good for me\" and I \"would be crazy\" and a  \"asshole to let go of the friendship\". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.\n\nPersonally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ######","completion":" NTA It is totally up to you who you're friends with. In the future though, it'd probably be good to change from following secrets with an \"oh keep that secret please\" to beginning with \"can I tell you something in confidence?\" Just, give people an out to say they don't want to hold your secrets and you'll save everybody some heartbreak ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up to 1 year now. Her best friend has been having a 3 month affair with a married man. She knows he is married. \n\nShe found out she was pregnant a month back and he has completely disappeared into thin air. He has blocked or deleted her from tinder and she never got his real name (they both went by aliases) and now she is desperately searching for him on Facebook but nothing even in the ballpark has come up. \n\nThe guy offered her abortion money and offered to go with her. She refused because she has a 3 y\/o and she wants a sibling for her baby. \n\nI can’t say I didn’t see him disappearing. He’s a piece of shit coward for having an affair in the first place and so of course he’s gonna abscond from a pregnancy from his side chick too. From my perspective it’s fairly obvious he was using my girlfriends friend and she should have either known that or have been prepared to deal with the consequences. \n\nMy girlfriend is very worried about her friend and keeps talking to me about it and asking what I think even though I’ve made it clear I don’t approve of either of their trashy behavior. I told her ‘well what did she expect?’ She keeps asking me if I think ‘as a man’ is it possible he will come back. I said hell no. Sometimes especially within the context of a couple talking let’s be frank we won’t always be politically correct. \n\nShe flipped her shit and said that my attitude towards her pregnant friend is misogynistic and I’m being heartless. I don’t think I am and I feel I’m allowed to have an obvious opinion such as that. ######","completion":" NTA it doesn't take a man to see that he's not coming back. What did she expect him to do? Leave his partner for her when they didn't even tell each other their actual names? I think him offering to pay for an abortion was a clear not very subtle hint that he wants nothing to do with a child and in extension her if she has the child. ######"}
{"prompt":"TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!\n\nI considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.\n\nMy ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming) \n\nWe moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.\n\nWhen I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.\n\nI fully believe it was her fault.\n\nFour weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.\n\nI guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.\n\nShe tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.\n\nI told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.\n\nMy ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA It doesn't sound like she's safe for you to be around & I don't think you should communicate with her at all. From the sound of it you feel like her abuse drove him to his grave & that's more than enough reason to cut ties. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.\n\nWe’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.\n\nShe pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.\n\nI didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA is she even a human being??? That puppy scene fucking wrecked me, is she joking with \"not even sad\"? What does she consider sad!?? I shudder to think. Your husband is 100% correct in his reaction to this scenario. \n\nSide note though, even if his emotional reaction to a movie was any of her business, she was rude to comment on it and demean him in such a way. Men are allowed to express emotions other than anger now and again. She can take several seats. I wouldn't necessarily hold out for a sincere apology, as that seems unlikely, but you're not wrong here. ######"}
{"prompt":"My [18M] close friend [18F] is someone I have always found attractive (in addition to being fun to hangout with). I didn't think I had a chance with her and didn't want to ruin the friendship so I hadn't made any moves. \n\nShe sent me a picture of herself completely naked on snapchat captioned \"I want you\". I was stunned and super excited. I took a picture of myself naked. After the picture was taken but before I sent it, I saw she had sent another message to me. I sent the picture before reading the message.\n\nThe message said \" Omg that was obviously meant for the girl I've been talking to\". She then opened my picture. She then called me a pervert saying she didn't want to see that. She said its disrespectful. I explained I thought she wanted me but she said that picture was obviously not meant for me. Now she is mad and is \"taking a step back\" from the friendship. ######","completion":" NTA in this case. You didn't know that it wasn't for you. I mean apparently if she does it it's an oopsie, but if you do it it's disrespectful? It was a mistake both times. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ######","completion":" NTA in this case. Making things in support of a movement and selling it isn’t always an issue, but holy hell, those masks are in *very* questionable taste.\n\nPutting “I can’t breathe” on a mask seems to be a joke for people complaining about wearing masks, which is a very childish thing to use someones dying words for. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother was no saint. She had her demons like the rest of us but hers put up more of a fight. In her previous marriage she went through a bad drug addiction and did a lot of damage to her ex husband and their kids, Duncan (36M) and John (34M), who were still teenagers at the time. \n\nLong story short she ran off with another addict (my father) and had me. Wasn't an easy childhood but soon enough my mother picked herself up again and started working on being better. When I was 9, she finally built up the strength to leave my and take me with her. We were broke and homeless so she went to ask Duncan and John for help. I remember her going on her knees asking Duncan to take us in and John throwing us out. Calling her a slut and an addict. That night we slept in the streets but still my mother tried another three times to reconcile and mend things but they never cared.\n\nLast year my mother got a heart attack and almost died. She was diagnosed with CAD. I messaged my *brothers* about her condition. Their response? \"We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us\". Well she died earlier this year from after a period of rapid heart attacks. I told myself fuck them and I buried my mother at an intimate gathering with her close friends and my wife. \n\nRecently my wife had been asking me to send them a letter so they at least know she's no longer with us. So I did. Well now the both of them have completely lost their shit sending me dozens of messages about how fucked up I am from keeping their mother's death from them and sending threats about how they're going to take 'legal action' against me so I should be prepared. My wife says she wouldn't go as far as calling me an asshole but I probably should have told them sooner. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA in the least. The last time you contacted them about her health they said,\n> \"We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us\"\n\nBlock them and bid good riddance. I understand they have a completely different history with her than what yours was, but you don't deserve the abuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway and title sounds bad.\n\nThis was last year\n\nI have a 25 year old adult daughter who got pregnant and decided to keep the child. I told her to get an abortion. I am my daughters father.  On Christmas last year my daughter called me and told her I have to adopt her child as she can't take care of it because of college.  I told her no I don't want to adopt a child and have another 18 years of my life wasted. \n\nMy daughter became angry at me for not caring about my grand children. I told her I won't sacrifice my lifestyle because of her mistake. I then told her she can deal with the consequence of having the child herself. My daughter told me she won't talk to me unless I adopt her kid. It's been over a year now and my daughter has not talked to me. So now I am wondering if I am an asshole.\n\nSo aita for refusing to adopt my daughter's bio kid because it would sacrifice my new life style ######","completion":" NTA in regards to not adopting the child but Jesus Christ you are for the way you talk to and about your daughter. ######"}
{"prompt":"##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.\n\n###### Long story short: \nI'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.\n\n###### The situation: \nPeople often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples: \n\n&gt; Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very \"Canadian\" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say \"ah I didn't expect that\" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).\n\nOr \n&gt; People who end up saying \"it's impressive you don't have an accent\" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).\n&amp;nbsp;\n\nOr \n&gt; Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the \"asian products' aisle.\n\nI am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world. \n\n###### AITA for not answering these types of comments? \nShould I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######","completion":" NTA in my opinion you just seem to be extremely understanding and level headed. Most would fly off the hand but honestly in predominately white areas most are not exposed to diversity and really all it takes is a moment of education to help them understand. Those comment seem to have no malicious intent to me so it’s fine but when you sense disrespect or intentional ignorance you should take the chance to respectfully educate. It’s not your job to educate other about diversity but it can be a big help in fight against racism and ignorance. After you’ve give your 2 cents to the person it’s now on them to further educate themselves. The internet is only a click away. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm typing this on the hospital and I haven't actually asked him to split the bill yet. We were at a beach earlier and he tackled my when I wasn't looking (basically a boys will be boys incident except it was totally random. I didn't instigate him. I was sober. He was drunk. He tackled me from behind so I didn't have a chance to react. Compound fracture. Surgery tomorrow.\n\nThe pain is excruciating and he texted me saying that he was sorry and if there was anything he could do then ask. I have insurance through work but there's a copay that will likely cost $3,700. AITA if I ask him to split the bill? ######","completion":" NTA in my opinion asking for only half is extremely generous. He's liable for all of it surely? ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that. \n\nJust to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”. \n\nNow I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”. \n\nAt a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her. \n\nAs far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits. \n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA in fact you could look at it completely differently. Your dog gets a pet name, because he's a pet. Your child gets her proper name, because she's a human being deserving of having her proper name used. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA in any way. You were kind enough to invite them after what they did when they first found out you were lesbian. They’re T\/As because they: \n1) assumed you were marrying a man, even though you had already been out as lesbian\n2) agreed to not say hateful shit, then turned around and did it. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last November when we went somewhere very cold and dry for a vacation. It was supposed to be kept a secret but since my brother spilled the beans my mother is now angry at me.\n\n\nWe lived in humid tropical climate so this new environment had our skin having \"scales\" due to the dryness in the air. That was not the worst, the worst was having our lips dry and chapped so bad that drinking water hurts.\n\n\nI realized somewhere that applying lip balm helps a lot, brought a small tube of it for the trip. I applied it on my brother's lips after feeling its effects, with his permission ofcourse.\n\n\nMy mother wiped it off him after seeing me applying it for him, saying that boys shouldn't apply anything on his lips, and that he should drink more water instead.\n\n\nWell, I still applied lip balm on him after that, in secret, after telling him not to tell. He agreed to it because he likes its effect too, since chapped lips were really painful. \n\n\nWe kind of brought this up earlier over some casual conversation and my dear brother probably felt that after such a long time passed, it was okay to tell. Despite being history already, my mother still got angry and said that I shouldn't have challenge her authority like that. \n\n\nAll I know was that the lip balm helped my brother's lips from hurting, isn't it all that matters? Plus it was not like my mother actually noticed that I applied it for him, so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA in any way- your mum literally asked you not to do something that helped your brother ease his pain she's clearly the asshole, especially considering her reason for such was based on sexism and absolutely stupid. You may have questioned her authority but she proved that her authority was questionable ######"}
{"prompt":"(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)\n\nYesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that \"mom and dad hate me and I don't know why\". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.\n\nFast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?\n\nTLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######","completion":" NTA in any shape, way, or form. What on God’s green Earth is wrong with your parents? Why did they even bother having him tested if they didn’t want to accept the apparently very obvious fact that he has ADHD? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.\n\nOccasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future. \n\nBefore this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.\n\nI know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA in a relationship you shouldn't feel pressured to be something that you aren't, the whole thing with being Poly (I may be wrong) is that everyone in the relationship is comfortable with it. If you aren't comfortable with it and she knows that, she shouldn't be pressuring you into being something that you are not. ######"}
{"prompt":"Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I  agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day. \nShe does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was important to my wife and she is furious with me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support someone else and their child?\n\nEdit: more info.\n\nShe enrolled her daughter in school after changing her address to my home with out my knowledge. She does help around the house but there is no financial help. I did consult with my wife before acting. Unfortunately  my requests seem to fall on deaf ears...\n\nShe will not be homeless she has a place to go. ######","completion":" NTA IMHO, a \"week or two\" guest is always on the verge of being told to GTFO. \n\nAnd honestly, she should have left LONG before this. I'm not sure why you and your wife put up with this, but I'm also not sure why this woman thought staying 8 months, not working, etc. with her and her child being supported by you in your home was in any way appropriate without a sit down with you requesting permission to do so and offering rent, grocery money, etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nUsually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nA few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm \"asleep.\" So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI \\*could\\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA for not letting him in? ######","completion":" NTA if your roommates bf wants to come over your roommate can wake up and let him in. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.\n\nWell, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I \"should have known\" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.\n\nThe thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).\n\nSo I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA if your husband is jealous of a NPC character in a video game he needs help that's overly controlling and insane. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”\n\nHaving heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)\n\nAs we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.\n\nShe told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.\n\nThey knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA if your fiance doesn't want him there then that's the end if it! \n\nFrom what you've said this man was abusive to finance growing up, he was not supportive of your relationship and is an all round A hole. \n\nWho cares what your MIL thinks? It's not her wedding and you're doing the right thing in ensuring that only the family you and your fiance love and care about attend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I were chatting about the wedding, and he asked me who my bridesmaids are going to be. So I list them off, and he just stares at me. So I ask what’s the matter and he says “well what about L(his sister)?” And I told him that she wasn’t going to be one. He gets PISSED. And he’s like “well if so and so can be a bridesmaid then L should be too! She’s going to cause a scene if she’s not one!”\n\nLet me give you guys some background. I met this girl maybe a month after my fiancé and I started dating. She’s studying to be a cosmetologist so I was being friendly and offered to let her do my hair and she was so excited. And so she and I are sitting in a room and she’s doing my hair and she goes “it’s crazy that you guys have been together for a month, because there’s been like 10 other girls that come to the house at night, so I figured you guys weren’t serious”. So I’m thinking this girl has no reason to lie to me, and I’m cool with his brother so I ask him. He says that it’s not true and L will lie about anything to stir up some drama. Since that night that girl has lied to me about stuff from crazy nights she’s had to being the one who found my dead cousin (yeah, she’s kinda horrible). But not only is she a liar, but a theif! She steals my stuff all the time and claims that she just found it, which my fiancé believes. And the biggest thing, is she puts me down at every opportunity. She tells me that I look stupid in my new clothes or my haircut is ugly, or my makeup is shitty. Just constantly putting me down. And that’s not the energy I want around me on my big day!\n\nI love her to death bc at the end of the day she’s my sister now. But I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her. But my fiancé is furious that his cousins can be bridesmaids but not his sister. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA If your fiancé really wants her as part of the bridal party then she can stand up with him as his best woman, there’s no law that says you have to have your future in-laws in your wedding party, the same as there’s no rule about having the opposite sex in the bridal party and it’s acceptable and accepted that a male may have a female in his best woman, then same as its acceptable to have a male in a bridal party. ######"}
{"prompt":"I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.\nI live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries\/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.\n\nWhen my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.\n\nMy dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######","completion":" NTA if your father is siding with your mother then he should give his to her if anything. Dont feel guilty you did what you could with a shitty situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.\nNow my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's \"off-putting\" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.\nSo everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.\nIt should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.\nSo, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ######","completion":" NTA If your bf lives there with you, it's super rude for them to expect him to go rent a hotel last minute for the duration of their stay. If it were me, I'd either insist the bf stay or if he wasn't comfortable with that, I'd go stay with him at the hotel and not visit with the parent while they're there. They need to learn to not be so entitled in your apartment. And not be such a dick to your bf ######"}
{"prompt":"So maybe I needn't have been so direct, but we have a really old fence that has significantly misaligned slats. While it's mostly never a problem and they think some bushes near these gaps give them some privacy, I've noticed that if I sit at the far end of my patio, I can not only see comfortably into their backyard, but on one occasion caught an ample glance of his wife tanning nude by their pool. Granted, it's not terrible, but I still felt like they ought to know.\n\nHis response? He told me to stop perving on his wife and mind my own business. Now I regret telling him and my wife tells me I should've let her tell his wife. AITA here? I'm just trying to inform them of something that costs them more than it does to us. ######","completion":" NTA if you're telling them as a courtesy. I get the feeling a few people might reply here and say 'then just don't look' but that's missing the point. \n\nWell, you told them which was good, nothing more you can do now except cover your side of the fence so you can't see them as much. Maybe they're okay with not having a ton of privacy ######"}
{"prompt":" Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.\n\nI woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.\n\nI went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.\n\nAm I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######","completion":" NTA If you're in a relationship,  you tell your partner when you go to the hospital. ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly\n\nShe hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly) \n\nAITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ######","completion":" NTA if you put them in a cage now they'll go crazy. I have an outdoor freeroamer and if she has to be put away for safety reasons, she'll immediately try to escape ######"}
{"prompt":"So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######","completion":" NTA if you pay for it, and its slowing your internet down, you have every right to preserve what you pay for ######"}
{"prompt":"My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there.  I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.\n\n1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for. \n\n2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play\n\n3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed. \n\nThis is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!\n\nSo today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ######","completion":" NTA if you haven't already, warn them about the danger of the kid falling into the window well. Let them know you have them on camera. Like someone already suggested, tell them you see cats using the flower bed as a litter box. That should work as a good deterrent. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved. \n\nTo be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said \"Please don't park here again. It's reserved.\" I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day. \n\nToday, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, \"Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved.\" My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it. \n\nI've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying \"We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do\" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed. \n\nSo, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ######","completion":" NTA if you get it towed.  Is it always the same car, or is it different offenders?  Either way, the fact that they read the note and didn't correct the behaviour is way more justification than you actually need.  Tow away to your heart's content. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story. \n \nSo, we ordered from Dominos for lunch. She said she just wanted those breadstick and wings. I confirmed if that was all she wanted a couple times.\n \nWhen the pizza came, she asked for a slice. I refused. She already ate probably around 12 wings, and 2 bread sticks. She also specifically said that she didn’t want pizza. She can’t have her cake and eat it too, or I guess eat her cake and have it too!\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA if you dont want pizza you arent getting pizza. Some of these replies dont make any sense. They basically want you to be some mind reader and do the opposite of what she says. If anyone thinks the GFs way of communicating is mature and reasonable you should rethink things.\n\nBe an adult and use your words to say what you mean so there is no miscommunication. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé (32M) has guardianship of his 13 year old sister. When we get married, we plan for me to have guardianship of her as well. I live with them and parent her for all intents and purposes. I check homework, take her to school (or right now, make sure she’s doing online schooling), make the two of them meals, do her laundry, talk to her about things, etc. Her mom died when she was little and she has said I’m like a mother figure to her.\n\nRecently, we were talking about makeup and such. She brought it up. She asked me if she could get makeup. I didn’t see a big deal in it and got her some neutral lip glosses, lipsticks and mascaras. It was nothing wild and all went with her skin tones. I taught her how to apply it and she seemed to be happy with it.\n\nMy fiancé, however, is not happy. He says this wasn’t my choice to make and I should’ve asked him first. I’ve bought stuff for her in the past without asking him and it’s never been an issue. He’s had me deal with “girl stuff” when it comes to her, such as taking her bra and regular clothes shopping, dealing with her first period, etc. I didn’t think makeup would be any different. He says that he can’t tell her to not wear it now,because I already gave it to her. I said it was just lip gloss and some mascara and he was still upset. He said “he’s her guardian, it’s up to her”. To me, I’m more than just the fiancé.\n\nAm I in the wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA if you buy her bras and feminine hygiene products, buying makeup would seem to be a natural extension. ######"}
{"prompt":"Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F\n\nFrom what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very \"waste not want not\"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.\n\nMy girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.\n\nShe has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.\n\nHer mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.\n\nSo, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.\n\nHer argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.\n\nWe've talked and argued several times.\n\nI had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.\n\nMy girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.\n\nMy mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.\n\nWe tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA if you asked her to stop and she wouldn't. ######"}
{"prompt":"My maternal grandmother passed way because of throat cancer when I was in the seventh grade. She left all of her granddaughters a necklace that she has custom made for them (she asked us which was our favorite gem). At the time I was crazy about rubies and she actually got me a custom made necklace with rubies. It was beautiful and something that I wanted to treasure as an heirloom because it was my grandmother's last gift to me.\n\n\nFast forward a couple of years, I was in Grade 12 when my eldest cousin sister was getting married. I couldn't attend the wedding cause I live in a different country and it was too close to my final exams. My narcissistic mother however attended. After she came back, and my exams were over. I asked her what she gave my cousin for her wedding present. (I was so stressed about exams that I wasn't involved in the wedding discussions at all). She told me she gave her that ruby necklace.\n\nShe gave my cousin sister my ruby necklace without even asking me because according to her it would be a waste of money to buy something when she already had that.\n\nI was devasted. But I couldn't do anything apart from cry and get angry.\n\nIt's been years now. And I have been thinking about asking my cousin for the necklace back after explaining the situation. \n\nWIBTA if I demanded the necklace back? ######","completion":" NTA if you asked but YWBTA if you demanded. If you explained and she was understand, she would more than likely gift it back (I know I would and apologise even though it's not her fault for not knowing!). Hopefully it won't come to the point where you have to demand. In this situation, neither of you are in the wrong (yet) and all fault lies with your mum. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me. \n\nI’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me. \n\nIn my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.\n\nNow on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan. \n\nThat made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic\/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic\/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######","completion":" NTA if you are in a straight cis passing relationship that doesn't make you valid to a lot of lgbt people which is 100 percent wrong... you're still valid as a pan person and I say go without them. They AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad is, to put it mildly, pretty selfish when it comes to food. If there are, for example, a pepperoni and a BBQ chicken pizza in the fridge he'll eat the latter purely because he knows it's the one meant for my tea.\n\nMore than once I've gone to make myself something to eat, only to realise that my dad has eaten his way through the things we both like and only left the things I _don't_. It's deliberate.\n\nHe is, however, differently picky about food than I am. Among other things, he won't eat pasta, spinach, or anything explicitly labelled as vegetarian or vegan.\n\nSo to prevent him from eating my food before his own I often buy things I _know_ he doesn't like. Tortellini, spinach and ricotta pizza, veggie chilli, etc. This means I have a stock of \"easy\" foods, without having to worry if they're going to be eaten before I want them.\n\nHe then complains there's nothing to eat. The fridge, freezer, and cupboards can be rammed full...but if everything of mine is stuff he won't eat, then there's \"nothing\".\n\nAITA for depriving my dad of the ability to eat everything that's meant for my meals? ######","completion":" NTA if you are buying the food yourself and he is eating it. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context - I'm back in my hometown, staying with my parents, grandfather and sister in a small apartment which has only two bedrooms. Needless to say, this has led to cabin fever.\n\nToday, my sister came to me with some news related to her job offer (they have delayed the joining date and reduced the salary) and I wasn't properly sympathetic because I was in the middle of some work (total asshole here, I agree).\n\nLater, when talking to her and my mother things got heated because I hadn't displayed proper empathy to my sister. My mother got angry, and when she gets angry she starts screaming. She started telling me off and complaining about how much my sister and I fight.\n\nNow, my parents have a very contentious marriage. I have grown up witnessing bitter fights every day, and my mother's constant complaining of my dad not living up to her expectations.\n\nBack to the situation - I got fed up with my mother's screaming and I said well you shouldn't complain about us, you and dad fight too so how is this different.\n\nMe saying this was unforgivable, and I have no right to comment on their marriage.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA if this is all there really is to it; it just seems like a really small hill for your mom to die on. If their fighting is so severe then it might just be a particularly sore spot for her. I was leaning a bit N \/ A \/ H for that reason but honestly, her getting so offended by that is probably because she was rightfully called out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition\/feeding tube\/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ######","completion":" NTA if this continues that is considered trespassing. Make sure she knows that\n\nEdit: I suck at grammar sometimes ######"}
{"prompt":"They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.\n\nSo they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.\n\nSo I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult\/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were \"too nice to say anything.\"\n\nI just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ######","completion":" NTA if they start hitting the house, take pictures and inform the owner, your landlord.  you don’t want to get accused of damage when it’s not your fault.  Keep texts as proof and next time, video it! ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.\n\nAnyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.\n\nMe and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no. \n\nAfter that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.\n\nI said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA if they ask and you tell them. No reason to lie for their sensibilities. More of a toss up if you volunteer that information without them asking. You do you though. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story. \n\nI tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?\n\nSince people keep asking here is Honey  \nMy baby! https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bn8300N ######","completion":" NTA if she replies to Honey then that’s her name. My dogs name was Howell before I got him and I changed it to Ollie and he instantly took to it. Also - it’s your fricking dog now. Your friend needs to chill. ######"}
{"prompt":"My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24\/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.\n\nFor context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.\n\nCurrently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24\/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######","completion":" NTA if she is not paying she cant live there ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepmother (49F), who we'll call Mary, is a conservative, and also does extreme racist things, which I'm not going to delve into right now. She got married to my dad when I was 14, and after she moved in, she used to force me to diet, and tell me that men liked women who did this, and that.\n\nShe and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house due to the virus. They are not paying any expenses, or chipping in.\n\nYesterday at dinner, I told them my boyfriend was moving in with us, and she replied with \"India? Which state is he from?\" and I tell her Kerala. So she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from Asia, and Kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live, etc, that he can't move into her house, and that I need to break up with him ASAP.\n\nI told her that she doesn't own my apartment, and if she doesn't like him being in MY apartment, she can move out. Also called her out for her racism and ignorance. \n\nShe got up crying and rushed into my bedroom. Heard things being thrown around and breaking, so I went in, and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces. \n\nI was furious. My grandpa is dead, and that was one of the only things I had from him. I actually snapped. Told her that she isn't my mother, and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things I'm not ashamed of, and then kicked her out.\n\nMy dad says that I should apologise, and I told him he might as well get out of my house as well.\nBoyfriend moved this morning, and my actual mom did too. These are the only two people who think Mary had it coming. My dad called me up an hour ago, and told me that I really hurt her with my comments, especially the one where I told her she was not my mom, and so I blocked him.\n\nMy step aunt caught wind of this, and told me I was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my \"failure of a mother couldn't.\" \n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA if NOTHING else she PURPOSELY broke a very special DEAD relatives’ item. Because you wouldn’t immediately break up with someone she irrationally deemed unhygienic.\n\nIf she didn’t want to stir the pot she probably shouldn’t have had an entitled temper tantrum where she broke your possessions. SHE can apologize AND she can either replace with monetary value the stuff she broke or she can try to glue it all back together.\n\nEither way you are NOT THE ASS!!! I’m so mad for you!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m getting married soon (don’t worry it’s a covid safe option). Everything has been kind of sinking in and while I can’t wait to marry him, I’m feeling a little sad about giving up my “identity” by becoming “Mrs XYZ.”   I’m well known within my field and earned a Masters degree with this name, am nationally\/globally licensed with this name. \n\nOur names are NOT compatible for hyphenation; it would be like a 20 letter last name. \n\nI asked tonight if he would be upset if I didn’t change my last name. He was not impressed and stated that it’s tradition, and that I must not want to share my kids last name or be a real family with him. I think I just hurt his feelings, but AITA for not feeling great about giving up my name? ######","completion":" NTA If it’s important to him that you all share a last name he could take yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI own a building with three units in it. I live in one of them and rent out the other two. One of the reasons I bought this place because it has a huge garage. The garage was technically made so it could accommodate cars from the three units. I however use the whole space for myself. \n\nAnyway a while ago one of my tenants has asked if they’re boyfriend can move in and be added to the lease. I had no problem with that and we did all the paperwork. \n\nIt turns out her boyfriend is disabled and unable to walk long distances. I got a text from her asking if he can have a spot to park in the garage because he’s having a hard time finding parking on the street that close enough.\n\nI reminded her I do not provide parking to any of my tenants and that I am already using all the space.\n\nShe said that I have to provide handicapped parking.\n\nNow I have actually looked this up before in case this was an issue and I informed her how legally I only have provide handicapped parking if I provide parking to any of my tenants which I do not and am also not required to provide.\n\nShe replied to me saying: \n“He’s disabled! He needs the space more than you do. Do you expect him to walk home from blocks away and injure himself”\n\nSo I tried to stay neutral in my reply:\n\n“I understand that that parking is an issue for him. If the both of you would like to leave and find a  new place to live I can end your lease early after this month”\n\nShe said “seriously? You’re not going to accommodate your disabled tenant? And you expect us to move out with everything going on. Wow. He’s going to hurt himself and it’s going to be all your fault”\n\nLook I really do understand that he is disabled and he could injure himself if he is forced to park so far away, but I feel like I always made the parking situation clear with my tenants. ######","completion":" NTA If it's been clear the entire time she's lived there that you do not provide parking for your tenants, it's her own negligence if her boyfriend gets hurt. If it was really important to her boyfriend to have close parking, she should have inquired about it before having him move in. Of course, I'm sympathetic to her boyfriend's struggle, but that doesn't make it your fault that she didn't do her due diligence and put her boyfriend's needs first. You went as far as to offer to let them out of their lease, which I don't think many landlords would do. I think you're in the clear here. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’m 20 and I live with my parents and my brother (25). On to the story.\n\nWe live in a somewhat rural area. My Mom and Dad went for a walk with the dogs. On the walk, my Dad saw an orange on the side of the road. We don’t live in an area where oranges grow, so clearly someone dropped or threw it out of their car. Over the protests of my Mom, he picked it up and brought it home because it’s a “perfectly good” orange. My Mom was upset about this but didn’t want to confront him, instead talked to me about how she’s worried about bugs and fruit flies and also the orange is gross. Which I agreed with. My brother, my Mom, and I all separately talked to him about how the orange is gross, he got angry and said, “that’s a perfectly good orange, if you don’t want it you don’t have to eat it.” \n\nTwo days after he picked it up, I walked into the kitchen. And saw it in the fruit bowl with all the good fruit. He keeps picking it up and putting it in the fruit bowl when I remove it. I saw that it was turning brown and I touched it and it was mushy. I couldn’t take it anymore and I threw that fucking thing down the garbage disposal. \n\nI got an earful from my Dad, who was furious. I also got an earful from my Mom and my brother for making him furious when we’re all trapped together, and it’s just an orange. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA if it was such a good orange, why didn't your Dad eat it? ######"}
{"prompt":"today my stepdad refused to let my little sister put makeup on him and when i asked him why, he said it's because men aren't allowed to use makeup. i told him that it's 2020 and dozens of men wear makeup, to which he replied those people weren't \"real men\". i asked him to elaborate and he said that since they chose to play a feminine role, they weren't men. \n\ni'm a lesbian and while my parents know that, they don't want to believe it and refuse to let me talk about it or properly come out to them. i asked him if me dressing masculine (which is something i do, simply because i like the look on me) makes me less of a woman. he said yes. \n\ni called him out on his bullshit and told him he’s being ignorant. then i left the room. now he acts like i'm being dramatic and should stop ignoring him. am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA If I were you I would make him tell you his favourite actors or celebrities and then show him videos of them in a dressing room, WWE fan? All makeup. Reality TV? Makeup. He has a mentality on that which is all kinds if messed up and illogical. ######"}
{"prompt":"So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...\n\nSo the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.\n\nFast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?\n\nAITA? \n\nTLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######","completion":" NTA if I was a parent and my kid casually dismissed their friend getting hit by a car I would be way more concerned about that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)\n\nEver since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to\n\nA cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because \n\n1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home \n2. I’m a bit possessive about it.\n3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it\n\nI’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ######","completion":" NTA if I built it and put money into it I’m keeping it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 20yr zoology and environmental science student from the US. I was on a hike with my mom and brother to celebrate the end of the online semester when I saw a honeybee on a dandelion. I looked down to take a picture and started talking about how they are endangered and how cute they are when my 18 yr brother full on stomped on the bee. I yelled at him in surprise and was super pissed that the bee was dead for no reason. He claimed he did it bc he’s scared of bees. \nI was mad at him the rest of the day, basically just being curt and not very talkative with him. My parents think I am just being sensitive, which I probably am, but I think its wrong to hurt an endangered species just because you are scared of them. It’s a bee, please just walk away. But in the end I may be acting like an asshole for giving him the cold shoulder. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA If he’s scared of bees he should stay away from them, not approach them closer to stomp on them. Whether he’s afraid of them or not, he was deliberately provoking you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the months, I've finally had time to paint and so I've made money off painting art commissions. I ordered a Switch and its meant to arrive some ime this week, and so I withdrew some cash so I can pay for it (cash on delivery)\n\nNow the problem is, my family has seen the wad of cash and has gradually borrowed money from it that it went from 12k to 2k. It's fine because I'm tracking the package and it wont be here 'til Monday, so I still have time to withdraw more cash and thankfully, I still have enough even if they don't pay me by then if my tracking is correct. And usually they notify me first and ask nicely.\n\nThis morning, my brother just casually dropped he took money from my wallet this morning while I was asleep. I got pissed and said \"you people aren't entitled to my money\". He got pissed too and said I shouldn't be acting like that, that he has been earning far longer and he never got my selfish attitude, and that he at least said she took it right now because she didn't want to wake me up.\n\n\nAITA for my attitude over my money? ######","completion":" NTA if he’s been an earning longer he shouldn’t need to take your money over and over. I get helping people out but they can’t keep taking from you. How can you ever have your own money if they do. He pretty much stole from you in your sleep. It’s like they searched for your hidden money since it was packed away. They were already snooping and found it. \n\n\n~~How can you let people take 10k from you?!~~\n\n~~Also why did you have 12k just lying around the house? Family or not, that’s not the smartest thing. Plus, The switch doesn’t cost that much unless we aren’t taking about dollars $ and the value is different?~~\n\nEdit: If it is Kroner then that’s $1,200 and they took $1k, which makes more sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: Me (29f) and husband (32M) have been married for just over 3 months.\n\nMy sister bought a Birkin in store a few months ago, and asked me if I wanted to buy it from her. I've always wanted that specific bag, and it's been sold out everywhere so when she offered I jumped. \n\nMy husband and I have separate finances except for one joint account for household expenses. We also decided on a percentage of income to save for future baby, retirement etc.  I come from a wealthy family, so I do have a bit of money that I did not get from my work. Prior to our marriage we had the same system of mostly separate finances, one joint account. Neither of us kicked up a fuss when we bought expensive things as long as we didn't pay for it using our joint account or dip into the agreed savings. \n\nWhile this may not be perfect, it worked well for us. I bought the bag and brought it home. My husband saw it and freaked out. He said I shouldn't have bought such an expensive bag without asking him first. I tell him that it was my money and I didn't break any of the aforementioned rules. He replied that it's different since we are married now and that everything I own is his now as well, and that I can't spend on useless things anymore. \n\nI'm just, genuinely confused. I didn't dip into my savings, nor did I use our joint account. This was a system we had for 5 years before we got married and he didn't have an issue with it. ######","completion":" NTA if he wants to change the rules he needs to talk to you about it ######"}
{"prompt":"I chose to lock up with my family while my state is on lock down. Mistake. My stepfather is an ass. Man has never once said thank you in his life and will complain about everything and anything. He rides my ass 24\/7 and makes me feel about 2 feet tall. Well I decided to make us a nice dinner. Stuffed boneless chicken, herb rice, baked potatos, all the fixens. The works. This man stood over my shoulder and cried and whined the entire time. He wanted cheese rice instead. Why wasn't I stacking the chicken in the stove. I was gonna overcook the chicken it needs to be 150 instead of 165 no one wants overcooked chicken. My potatos were \"Wrong. Just wrong\". He kept saying that. \"Wrong. Just wrong. I cooked in the navy\". Finally he kept snapping at me to pull up my \"Sorces\" on how to cook chicken and I snapped and pulled the tray out of the stove and told him to cook his own f*cking meal then I left and took a shower. I get that that was childish but like half the family has spent days locked in their room to avoid his crying needy whiny bullshit so I don't get why my family is mad at me. I am so sick of playing mommy to a 50 year old man. ######","completion":" NTA if he doesn't like what you're making he can shut his mouth and make his own food. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times. \n\nMy order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.\n\nSo, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######","completion":" NTA If everyone did what this worker did, going outside would be hell.Not like anyone's leaving \"consider not believing in god or burn\" pamphlets.\n\nGood on you for being invested enough to leave a review (but maybe don't be to upset about something kinda insignificant, in case you were) ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021. \n\nI’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.\n\nMy fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.\n\nAfterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.\n\nHe claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.\n\nHe got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA if can't stand up to obvious racism now he's not magically going to grow a spine and stand up for you and your children later ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time.  I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my dad didn't matter other than the 3 days every other week I was at his place.  \n\nI never really liked having a new family cause I had a family and it was uprooted and had a brand new one in less than 2 years.  The kids felt almost the exact same way cause their dad rushed things just as bad.  The \"family\" didn't blend at all, and when I turned 15 I started spending a lot of my time at my dad's.  I hold no grudge against the steps but they aren't my family and if asked they would say the same about me.  Only reason I don't live with him full time is cause its pretty bad and is literally lopsided.\n\nI don't know what happened and he's never done this before but when I came over there he started to lecture me about the importance of \"family\" and that I should try to get to know my \"siblings\" more.  That struck a cord cause it sounds something almost exactly like what my mom would say and I told him that he was sounding like mom and left the house.  I spent the night at my friend's house before returning to my mom's.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA if after 8 years you still don't have a bond with them, it's clearly never gonna happen and your mother needs to stay out of your dads business ######"}
{"prompt":"A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.\n\nI LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.\n\nTo be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.\n\nWIBTA if I said I want to keep them?\n\nQuick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that \"you should always help your family no matter what\". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ######","completion":" NTA if a person gives a gift there is no return even more if it has been years. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is an awkward one... so making it short\n\n\nI am a 22 year old guy living with parents right now. My 84 year old grandmother, after the death of her husband, became depressed and her health declined rapidly. She has become quiet and frail, with the intelligence of a baby, and she cannot even eat or go bathroom without help. \n\n\nMy parents were out for a while and they've asked me to keep an eye on grandma till her caretaker arrives. She was supposed to come by 4.30pm. Grandma was sleeping so it should have been a breeze, or so I thought. \n\n\nAround 3pm, grandma peed herself. She was not on diapers because she could make noise when she needed to go, but this time she did it on her bed directly. \n\n\nI cleaned her up. When I say cleaned, I don't think you need more hints. I kind of carried her off the bed, pulled off her pants and you know, wiped her clean and changed her a pair of clean pants. Hey she is an old woman and could not help herself, so I help her, nothing inappropriate, or so I thought.\n\n\nBoth my parents and the caretaker gave me very weird looks after telling them what I did. I wasn't scolded or what, just told that if there were a next time, to call the caretaker instead and she would come sooner. My mother also said that it was incredibly rude and disrespectful to touch my grandmother as a guy, even if she barely had much awareness.\n\n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA if a male caretaker did this, would it be weird? You took care of your grandmother! Was it weird when your grandmother changed your diapers as a baby? NO! You're in reversed roles right now, not weird, not inappropriate, and anyone who says otherwise is the one with the problem. Were you supposed to let her sit in urine soaked sheets and clothes for hours?\n\nYou're a GREAT grandson. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free\n\nI got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house. \n\nShe defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them. \n\nI lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######","completion":" NTA I’ve been reading a lot of r\/choosingbeggars and your mom reminds me of some of those people tbh lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone, long time lurker but first time posting. My bf (23m) and I (21f) have been together almost 2 years now, I fell pregnant pretty early on in the relationship which I understand was hard because we didn’t get much time to just ourselves before our son came along. \n\nI’m unsure how to type this because I’m exhausted as it’s 3am here but I’m just so upset. Since our son has been born my partner has woken up in the morning with him once. Every single day no matter what time and even if I worked the night before I still get up in the mornings. Our son is still exclusively breastfeeding so I do the night wakings as well. Sometimes it can be every hour he wakes especially when he’s teething. My partner gets the sleep through it all, which I understand because our son is breastfeeding but it’s still hard. Most nights my partner stays up playing his games till 2-3am and sleeps until I wake him at 10-11am. I’ve tried waking him earlier but he’s not a morning person and gets mad and tries to ignore me to go back to sleep. So we usually end up fighting. Tonight I woke up to find him awake again and I just snapped because I’m so sick of watching him get to stay up as late as he wants to and sleep in every single day. I’ve tried to speak to him about it multiple times before but nothing has changed, I’m so exhausted all the time and I feel like he doesn’t give a damn. He got pissed off because of my “attitude” towards him. I don’t know what to do but he’s treating me as tho I’m in the wrong for getting mad at him for this. So AITA here? Can anyone suggest a way to talk to him about this without being TA? I’m so tired so I hope this makes sense..\n\nEdit- I should add here that he’s an amazing dad when he’s awake during the day, it’s just this one issue of never actually getting out of bed in the mornings. \n\nEdit 2- my son refuses bottles no matter how hard we try so I can’t express my milk for him to do feedings. ######","completion":" NTA I’m so sorry. He’s not being a responsible dad and partner leaving it all on you. This is not right. You need help and he needs to step up. You’re barely sleeping and he’s playing video games and yelling at you for asking for help\n\nI don’t know if you want to go to a couples counselor or have some family step in to back you up or what but you’re not in the wrong here ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year my parents lost almost everything they had, they literally had no money to buy food. They were always nice to me and they paid for my college so I thought it was kind of my duty to support them untill they become financially independent again\nI (28m) am making 120k a year, but still since we we were living in the same city I decided to move in with my parents to not to waste money on rent while I help them financially. My dad got his business again, so far it is going well even though there almost no profits. I am hoping that it will soon be profitable. \nMy brother (32m)also lives with my parents and he is a total failure, he has never had a job. He only had a few failed businesses (my parent gave him the money to start the business). For the last 1 year I have been the sole source of income for the family, I have been paying for the food, utilites and all the other costs. Since my brother has never had a job, he cant get a job right now and my parents no longer have the money to give him to start another failed business, he has been unemployed. And he has ego problem, he cant go work minimum wage jobs. I recently learned that my brother has been taking money from my parents (the money I give them) and spending on going out with his friends. When I learned it I told my parents that he should not get any money, and he should not even eat the food I buy untill he gets a job on his own, even if it is a minimum wage job. My parents told me that I was overreacting and my brother called me the AH. Am I really the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA I’m so done with siblings at this point ######"}
{"prompt":"My Daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with \"Sir\" and \"Ma'am\" respectively. So, it's not like we disapprove..However, every month it's \"Hey mom it's our 1 month can I order us grubhub?\" \"Its our 2 month, 3 month\" ECT. You get the point. \nWe just moved into a bigger house, so naturally, bills are more. We haven't even received our first round of bills yet and we're apprehensive about blowing money. Everytime she orders it's at least 35 dollars!\nSo, here's the questionable statement I made. \"Guys, I love you both and you know we like having you around boyfriend, so don't take this the wrong way. Not every month is an anniversary and doesn't require spending 30-50 dollars. I know they feel special and that's great but Dad and I can't afford to blow money right now\" \nThere it is..I was met with dagger stares and my daughter exclaimed \"Wow mom, thanks for taking a dump on our happiness!\" Boyfriend just looked embarrassed and didn't say anything. He's usually the one trying to get her under control. My daughter has a hot head like her Father. Am I the asshole?? I don't feel like I should have to fork out money for food, rides to special locations and go out of my way everytime they make it another month. 14yo daughter btw.\n\nInfo: she's paid 200 a month, I had already prepared dinner with more than enough to go around and the questionable statement I made was after 5-6 \"but why??\" Statements. I shouldn't have down played their day, I was young once and had a first long boyfriend. There will definitely be some family budgeting and personal budgeting talks but I'm hoping this teen parenting thing gets more seamless in 10 years because her 4yo sister is next😂 ######","completion":" NTA I’m a teenage girl, so I feel I have a pretty good stance from her side as well. If she wants to spend a ton of money on her and her boyfriend she could always get a job. Then she could see for herself how hard earning money is and why you don’t want to spend that much every month currently. Also, does the BF chip in at all?! I’m from the Midwest and we either Go Amish or He pays unless the girl makes significantly more. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes. \nShe also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way. \n\nSo am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ######","completion":" NTA I’ll bet your mom is super fun at parties. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool. \n\nWhile we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23) \nThey would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice. \n\nThe topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to) \n\nAnyway I dropped it. \n\nNow we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.\nYesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine) \nI told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him. \n\nWIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######","completion":" NTA I’d say you’d be in the clear, he’s 23, he can make his own life decisions. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds AWFUL, but hear me out. Throwaway in case she’s on reddit. This story happened before pandemic hit. \n\nMy roommate is a sweetheart most of the time, and I like to think that we’re pretty good friends. However, since she was randomly assigned to our apartment, I understand that she has different boundaries than I do which I respect whole-heartedly. She locks her bedroom door when shes not home, and while it does kind of sting that she’d think me or other roommate would do something nefarious, I get it. Our doors have two locks on them; both have a key, but one is flimsy. She stayed the night at her partners house one day, and has a stand alone alarm clock that she uses instead of her phone. \n\nWell, evidently she forgot to turn off the clock and at 7AM it started beeping. I had gotten done working a night shift and was BONE tired. All I wanted was the alarm clock to go off. I called and texted her 3-4x, but she didn’t pick up. So, I went upstairs, picked the bedroom flimsy door lock with my fingernail, and turned the alarm off so I could rest. She came home and was pretty upset asking what I was doing in her room, despite me telling her that the alarm went off for a long time while she was gone. She ended up locking herself in her room and things were tense for a long while after, and I have passed her locking both locks in her room as of recently.  At one point she was on the phone upstairs telling her friend how I broke into her room (thin walls). I feel awful. \n\nWas I an asshole for essentially breaking into her room so that I could turn her alarm off? I feel like theres a weird dynamic shift now. ######","completion":" NTA I’d be mortified if I left an alarm going that long and I wasn’t there to stop it.\n\nThat said, if it happens again, a good way to turn it off would be to turn your main breaker on and off. Then it would kill power to the alarm and you wouldn’t have to go in there! ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.\n\nHe asked what address I wanted  the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks\n\nSince my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.\n\nAs for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it. \n\nBut I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.\n\nSo I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.\n\nThe lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.\n\nIt’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said  I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.\n\nAnd that’s where I am now. ######","completion":" NTA I've had a life insurance policy and will since I was 25. It's my responsibility to make sure in the event of my death my possessions and my family\/friends are taken care of. Not theirs. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account; he uses reddit too.\n\nBackground:My husband and I are both 27 and have been married for almost 3 years, no kids.\n\nI have suffered with OCD for the majority of my life. I was officially diagnosed when I was 23 and finally got medication. The medication has greatly reduced my panic attacks, but it has also made me tired all the time.\n\nMy husband finds some of my OCD tics fascinating, which I don't blame him for, because I can see why he thinks that. I have talked to him about all my weirdest ones: the fact that I can't have my hands in the same position at the same time, the fact that I can't touch the mole on my neck or else I have compulsions to squeeze the skin, etc. (There are many more but those are most relevant.)\n\nSometimes, my husband induces my OCD to mess with me. Like if he's holding my hands and forces them into the same position to see how I'll react. I've talked to him about it and hes since stopped doing that.\n\nToday, he playfully touched the mole on the back of my neck. I was like \"we talked about this; why do you trigger my OCD on purpose?\"\n\nHe went on about how I need to overcome this anxiety and he was helping with my exposure to it. I told him he's not a licensed therapist and he's just stressing me out. I've gone to therapy. I see a psychiatrist frequently. I let the professionals handle that.\n\nI was crying about how I feel he's disrespectful of my OCD by trying to induce those feeling's on purpose. He said that he's bothered that I'm giving in to irrational fears. \n\nNow I'm crying and trying to remove myself from the situation but he's keeps telling me it's just a mole and I need to act like people treat it in the real world. I KNOW that logically; I try to explain to him that OCD is illogical which is why I treat it with therapy and medication, and why I feel disrespected when he messes with it on purpose for no real reason.\n\nWho's the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA I'm SO angry on your behalf.\n\n\nHave you mentioned the word sadistic to him? The fact that he doesn't \"get\" OCD doesn't excuse his behavior. If you had PTSD from a home invasion, would he sneak up on you wearing a ski mask to help you _get over it_? PTSD isn't \"logical\" either. UGH!\n\n\nSo he knows enough about you, your life, your experience, psychology, brain chemistry, OCD etc that he can \"fix you\" simply by badgering, taunting, and  tormenting you into mental health? What an ignorant, arrogant, cruel AH.\n\nIf he won't stop _torturing_ you, you'd be SO much better alone. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a throwaway account and I sincerely tried to word this correct. \n\nLast year I got really sick and I lost a lot of weight, resulting with me on TPN and a feeding tube. I get 100% of my nutrition from both of these lines. I had to move back home and my mom became qualified to be my caregiver and she is being paid for helping me. When I get eat I get sick 100% of the time but I still want to be able to eat and taste food, and my doctor encourages eating so that I can maintain some function. My doctor knows I get sick and still expects me to eat and I want to eat so I do. My mother thinks I'm selfish because shes my caregiver and she knows I'll just get sick if I eat, which is more stress and anxiety for her. I talked to her over it and I told her that the majority of the time when I get sick I dont make any mess, and if I do I clean it up. She said that it's more than that because when I'm sick it adds a bunch of stress to the family because they are worrying about me instead of doing their own business. I genuinely feel bad about that but also I'm hungry. My TPN and tube bypasses my stomach so I dont get any satisfaction or fullness and I really miss food. My mom thinks I'm TAH for adding extra stress and I dont mean to be. I want to eat without it affecting anyone else but because that's impossible AITA ######","completion":" NTA I'm NJ tube dependent as well and not eating is horrible. I do exactly the same as you. Only worry I have is that when I puke, I could flip my tube into my stomach and organising endoscopies as a single parent is a nightmare.\n\nSurely they would be worried\/stressed if you didn't eat anyway. Your body\/health isn't there for their convenience. I had the same problem with using a wheelchair but my family just have to deal with it. It's hard though because when they act like that, they make your illness\/body about them and add to the humiliation of the whole situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)\n\nI (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.\n\nThe only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it. \n\nAfter class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt. \n\nI haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?\n\nETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######","completion":" NTA I'm my opinion you were dressed appropriately, what wasn't appropriate was him bringing up your \"obvious nipple piercing\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.\n\nI won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot. \n\nSarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ######","completion":" NTA I'm glad you had so many wonderful people that loved you. She wanted you to have it and it made her happy yo give it yo you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids.  Today my wife received a call from the  principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair.  I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos.  My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times.   I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ######","completion":" NTA I'm a teacher and if a student is doing something that can disrupt class (even online class) I would talk to that student and, if things didn't change with the parents. As your said, the teacher was not bothered. The other parent is the AH. \n\nAlso, it's almost impossible for kids to stay super quiet in school, imagine at home... Your son did nothing wrong.\n\nEdit about my english: english is not my 1st language and I don't live on an english speaking country, so sorry about the bad grammar and typos (: ######"}
{"prompt":"A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA I wouldn't just be throwing her under the bus, I'd be the one driving it. Insurance fraud is a good way to fuck up your life and she was an idiot for doing that. The fact that she was trying to drag yall down with her shows what a great friend she was anyways. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ######","completion":" NTA I wouldn't have someone like that around my kids either, I'd block her and her mother. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has been dating this guy for the past year or so, and I really don't like him because he's been arrested, has been caught with drugs, is very loud and obnoxious, and neither do our parents, but she's held strong with this guy and refuses to let anybody separate them. \n\nWe have a younger brother who was born deaf who has tried his best to be civil towards the boyfriend, but not long ago, I came across my sister and him talking about how dumb he was and mocking him and just generally being cruel. (He primarily communicates through Sign Language, but has started to make attempts to talk out loud) \nLater that day, I brought it up my sister and she said that I shouldn't be so angry about it, but I told her that it wasn't right and that she and her boyfriend were acting like he didn't have a brain. This escalated into a fight that ended with us not speaking and me refusing to talk to her boyfriend. \n\nRecently, my parents allowed my sister to have her boyfriend over and I refused to make the usual small talk. She got angry, he got angry, but I refused. My sister accused me of being angry just for the sake of being angry and that I was being ridiculous. To back me up, I involved our older brother in the fight and he sided with me. \nFor any needed context, to avoid creating a rift, I didn't tell our younger brother about what my sister had been saying. ######","completion":" NTA I would wait till all of you are in the same room and just casually ask him\n\n\"So what other disabilities do you make fun of people for having?\"\n\nfor when your sister gets mad\n\n\"I cant believe you're willing to settle for a guy who insults your deaf brother, you must think very little of yourself if you think you can't do better than that.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"We (30\/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.\n\nI'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.\n\nAnyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.\n\nFinally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said \"I thought you didn't want any\". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.\n\nI asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.\n\nWe continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.\n\nAm I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.\n\nThank you! ######","completion":" NTA i would start just cooking for myself and if he came in expecting food I’d be like well you didn’t ask and now I’m busy so sucks to suck. 🤷🏼‍♀️ ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.\n\n I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her \"ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me\". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it). \n\nAITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######","completion":" NTA I would say bringing up the money you gave her previously may have not been the best option for being civil but all you’re trying to do is show you’re happy about this development. Gives her no reason to treat you like you can’t tell them anything at all just because you have a little more money to go around. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) have been staying at home with my family for the last two month. My family wanted me to spend quarantine with them, so I have been working from my parents house since.\n\nMy mom and dad (50s), sister (12), and I have been going on daily evening walks with our two dogs - one is mine and the other our family dog. This is usually a great and enjoyable time for our family. For the last week, my dad and sister really got into a game called “Poop Tag”, it’s basically where after the dogs poop and the bag is tied they throw the dog poop bag at each other and my mom and I. \n\nI hate this game. I don’t like getting poop, even if it’s in a bag, thrown at me and I don’t find it funny. I told them multiple times I would not walk with them if this continued. I think they thought I was joking, because they would not stop AND added new components to this game - wave poop above my head, pretend to hit me with it with large swings.\n\nTwo days ago I refused to go on walks with them anymore and now just walk my dog alone. They’ve since apologized to me and my mom for this game and has asked me to rejoin our family walks.  I do miss our family walks and probably want to rejoin, but am still really mad about the poop tag. I want to wait it out for a couple more days to get over this. Am I being unreasonable here? ######","completion":" NTA I would have done the same thing. It's not a 'fun family activity' if one of the family members is having a shit time\nGo on another walk and see if they start behaving ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway I don't want to post on my main account because my girlfriend follows it\n\nMy girlfriend is an artist as her hobby she is pretty good. Last year I started drawing as way to cope with a passing of my father. I ended up being decent after a while and I thought I should start improving my art skills and being professional about it. I ended up drawing \"famous\" manga characters in the sketch book and real life items.\n\nI showed some of the mutual friends between me and my girlfriend and they liked mine a lot. Recently our mutual friends have stopped liking my girlfriends artwork and started liking mine more. I never brag about it to my girlfriend. yesterday  a mutual friend was visiting out apartment and told me that my artwork is better than my girlfriends. My girlfriend heard that and became really mad at me and said that I stole the one thing she was better at than me.\n\nSo last night my girlfriend told me she got rid of the sketch book because i was spending to much time on it. This sketch book I had since my fathers passing and had my first artwork. She told me that I was not taking care of the dog which is the reason she threw away the art book. I spend at least 2 hours with the dog after work. I explained to her I was upset with what she did with my sketch book.\n\nMy girlfriend then told me that she threw it away because I stole her hobby from her.  She said it was never really my hobby and it was only her hobby. She said I should not feel bad about throwing the notebook and I should be grateful for her actions.  So now I am wondering if I was the asshole for stealing girlfriends hobby and then for being upset she threw out my sketch book. ######","completion":" NTA I would get away from the gf that's pretty crazy also your friends are kinda assholes for comparing you both ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.\n\nHowever, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.\n\nShe hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.\n\nWIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ######","completion":" NTA I would bring it up before she spends it all tbh. You lent the hand and helped out. Now it’s her turn to pay it back. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello\n\nSo today I (22m) was at a house\/pool party at my cousin's house (restrictions are being lifted here) I didn't know a ton of people there, so I was mostly just drinking soda, people watching, and spending time on my phone lol.\n\nAt one point, a kid (1.5ish) toddled past me and headed straight for the pool. I didn't know the kid, nor was I sure if \"their adult\" was around. I was lounging and he walked past me about three feet away, so not within grabbing distance unless I got up.\n\nI watched as the kid got closer to the pool, and when I realized he wasn't going to stop, I sat up and started saying \"uhhh\" pretty loud. Before anyone heard me though, he fell into the pool and the pretty loud splash alerted his dad, who quickly jumped in after him.\n\nThe kid was fine, just a little spooked, but my cousin screamed at me for not stopping him, when I had seen the kid go past.\n\nBut 1. I don't know the kid 2. Wasn't close enough to grab him without getting up 3. I started saying something to alert other people 4. His parents should've kept a closer eye on him\n\nMy cousin eventually just asked me to leave, and her fam is mad at me.\n\nTl:Dr - I watched an unknown toddler head for a pool and didn't grab him\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA I work with kids and I still probably would have had a similar reaction. I don't have fast reflexes outside of my job because I don't want parents to be freaked out by my concern with children since I don't actually have kids. It was a matter of seconds, not minutes where you had tons of time to think - and you didn't know who the parent was or where they were. I assume there were adults all around who could have been mom\/dad. \n\nI think your cousin's reaction was strange. Not everyone thinks, \"Shit, I should get up and pick up that strange child whose family I don't know!\" during an otherwise innocuous event. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.\n\nShe mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too. \n\nThen she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.\n\nShe looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA I was a single mom. If you're not into the kids, don't waste her time and money on a sitter. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there. \n\nBut my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.\n\nI think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.\n\nAITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ######","completion":" NTA I used to smoke weed like a crack junkie. Couldn’t eat or do anything without it. I don’t know if it’s inherently addictive but for me (an addict) anything can become addictive and weed was my number 1 drug of choice. I also have NOTHING against weed or people who smoke it. I just cannot smoke it without turning into a junkie over it so I have to abstain completely. That’s just my experience. I also know that no one else could have gotten me to that conclusion. I had to realize on my own that it was a problem. Anyone who criticized my use or tried to get in the way was going to be collateral damage. The only thing you can do is accept that you have zero control over her behavior and it truly sucks but it’s the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there. \n\nBut my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.\n\nI think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.\n\nAITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ######","completion":" NTA I use marijuana daily for pain, but I also stop periodically to make sure I can. Also, it can cause nausea and stomach pain in some people. Her cure may be aggravating her situation ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment. Second floor, covered but outdoor walkway, medium walk from the street. I pay $8-12 from my limited means (I don't have a car, also due to limited means) to have groceries brought to me from walmart.\n\nSo here's the issue. Someone always seems to say \"Oh could ya come down to the car and get your groceries?\" or something of the like. And I think- *no! I checked \"contactless delivery.\" I paid you! I have several good reasons (a bad back and heavy items among them) to pay to have groceries brought to me. Do your job!*\n\nThere was at least one time when it was an older woman who complained of hip trouble when telling me to carry them myself. Which I did, cheerfully. But... why are you hiring someone to carry groceries who can't or won't carry groceries? Is it so wrong to just ask for what I paid for? ######","completion":" NTA I understand the delivery person not wanting to carry groceries up stairs, but everyone has parts of their jobs that they don't like doing. You do them anyway, because *it's your job.* You paid for a service and you should receive that service. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm working at home for now and thus doing frequent Zoom meetings. One of my co-workers has started in these meetings whenever she has to state her name and position also stating \"my pronouns are she and her\" after that. No one really seems to care either way and hasn't acknowledged that, and no one else has started doing so. She also now has them in the signature of her email.\n\nWe were recently chatting in the IM app and then she asked me why I or anyone else hasn't done this too. This is likely because we were kind of close in the office. I just told her I don't see a need and everyone already knows I'm a guy and I look like one (I even have a beard.) She got kind of upset and said that's not the point and it's about creating a more inclusive workplace but she's getting frustrated no one else is doing so. She told me it's makes things more inclusive for trans people, but we have no trans employees as far as I can tell and if we do they've transitioned so much and so effectively they are recognizable as such and would probably just want to be treated as normal. So I flat out told her that I won't be stating pronouns anywhere and don't find it necessary. She seemed to take it kind of person and has lately been a bit bitter to me, probably realizing if she can't sway me to it no one else will. I've always found our workplace inclusive and open-minded anyway and don't see how this'll help anyone.\n\nSo am I being any type of asshole? ######","completion":" NTA I understand her argument that “saying your pronouns makes those who feel they need to clarify feel less singled out”, but announcing it at the beginning of each meeting feels forced and (from what you describe) unnecessary. \n\nLike, are you meeting with new people each time or is she just constantly reminding her coworkers that already know her? ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband wants to go camping with another couple and our one year old this weekend at a park that is 3 1\/2 hours away. He wants the both of us to call out of work so we can start driving up there early tomorrow morning. Neither of us have PTO to use so, I told him I don’t want to go unless we go somewhere closer so I can at least go to work. He refuses to compromise so I told him he can just go by himself. We cannot afford to each lose a day of work. We would also have to buy a tent, food, and other things you need while camping. He thinks I am being an asshole but, I feel like I’m being financially responsible. \n\nAm I TA here? ######","completion":" NTA I think you sound like you’re being very reasonable. Also, as someone who has done a lot of camping in her life, I’d say it’s better to pick somewhere close to home for your first trip. Especially with a baby. That way if you forget something, one of you can easily run home and grab it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the way I make toast when I make a full breakfast is a bit weird. I toast it twice on the lowest setting so it's fresh and warm when I've finished with the fry pan. It's just easier to time things that way, and it's how I like to cook. \n\n\nMy SO doesn't understand why I do this, and wants me to change it back to his preferred setting when I'm done, so he doesn't accidentally come up with slightly toasted bread instead of brown.\n\n\nI maintain that he's a big boy and can change the setting just like I do when I go to use it. \n\nHis arguments are that it's weird how I do my toast (he's repeatedly asked me to re-explain because he just doesn't get it) , and when I change the setting its like \"putting the kettle setting on 50 degrees and not changing it back\".\n\n\nI feel like this disagreement is so stupid and I have no need to explain why I like to cook the way I do, but it keeps coming up so I'm honestly wondering if I'm going crazy or really being THAT inconsiderate. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA I think the default should be for whoever likes the less brown toast. You can always toast more, but you can’t un-toast. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me. \n\nHe posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. \"broke the bro code\", \"check my privilege\" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on \"shallow tinder girls\".\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA I think the bro code actually covers making sure your bro doesn't turn into a Nice Guy and your other friends need to reread the pamphlet. ######"}
{"prompt":"&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA I think sometimes on reddit people confuse meddling with actually caring about people and telling them what needs to be said. Sometimes people show you their true colour but people are just blind to it because their emotions get in the way. 40k is a years salary, but more than that your brother tried hard to make it special he wasn’t just trying to spend a lot of cash he was trying to get her something special that he put his heart into. If she couldn’t focus on that, yeah I think your brother is way better off. You’re a good sister and you said what needed to be said. ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry this is long ... Anyway, I was once happily married with a newborn baby. \nMy sister on the other hand is a heroin addict and found herself evicted from her house and child services found her children malnourished and emaciated after having missed 92 days of school so they were taken from her.\nSo I took her into my home.\nOnce there, I had a long heart to heart with her and I told her I was going to pay for her to go to rehab. I took out a hefty personal loan to fund this, which I am still paying off.\nAfter her stint in rehab she had to be signed into the care of somebody who was responsible for keeping her clean, once again I was all too happy to do it. The day she came home with me, she prostituted herself to my husband for drug money and overdosed that day.\nMy marriage effectively ended and she ended up dating him for several months! \n7 years have passed now and I have heard from my family that she has now turned her life around and is a strong member of her local church and has even been baptized. They have been hounding me and hounding me that I should reach out to her and try to mend our relationship.\nIm just not buying it. I feel like this is all just an angle she's playing and she hasn't changed at all, but now it's like I'm the asshole for not reaching out to the woman who destroyed my life because \"she's changed\" ######","completion":" NTA I say keep the trash in the dumpster ######"}
{"prompt":"My husbands father bought a giant utility trailer. He primarily bought it so that he could use our brand new tractor and haul it to their property they are building on when they want to use it. Kind of manipulative imo but that’s besides the point. His dad offered to let us use it if we wanted to (we live on a farm). We don’t have much of a use for it except maybe once a year when we are harvesting hay. \n\nToday his dad made it clear that he intends to store the trailer here full time. He wants it in our front yard. I absolutely don’t want it here. My husband agreed to let them leave it here, even though he had already agreed with me that they couldn’t store it here. \n\nWe don’t have the space for it and I don’t want our yard\/property looking like a junk yard. Our farm is very picturesque and quite honestly it’s very beautiful property that could be a B&amp;B if we wanted it to. We already have a couple of big tractors and our own utility trailer, plus a horse trailer. It’s starting to feel cluttered and I really don’t want another giant piece of machinery in our yard. \n\nNot only that but we already stored his fathers boat here for over a year. Every time he would come to get it\/use it he damaged our yard severely and our apple trees. He would back into the branches and break them off, and leave deep gouges in our front lawn. It took ages to repair and he didn’t apologize or see any issue with it. To him, our place is just a farm and the aesthetics of the place doesn’t matter. To me, I am passionate about preserving the natural beauty of the place and I spent a lot of time landscaping and making it beautiful. \n\nHis parents have a space on the side of their house they could easily store this trailer. \n\nAITA for making my husband tell them they can’t store the trailer here? ######","completion":" NTA I mean... he should store it at his house especially if he has space for it. It makes no sense that he’s just storing things at your house. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last night, after we put our little one down, my husband hopped on to play games and I headed upstairs to watch girly shows and get some sleep since lo has been an early riser these days. I settled in and was just about to fall asleep when our dog let out a panicked howl. I knew my husband wouldn't hear it with his gaming headset on, so I go down in my underwear and a t-shirt to check things out. It's almost always a neighbor who gets home from work late and their car door spooks the dog for some reason. \n\nI get downstairs, and there is my MIL standing IN MY HOUSE!!! Her first words are \"I think we need to talk about your behavior.\" Que explosion from me. Here is a brief summary of what I remember saying:\n\n\"What the #@$%?!?! Why are you here?! Why did you think it's ok to let yourself into our home without permission?! You need to get out now!!! You need to get outside now or I'm going to call the police!\"\n\nShe stammers a bit, flustered at my outburst, and then runs out crying. I get my husband and he is PISSED. This is a hard boundary line crossed as both my husband and I are private people and this IS known to them. \n\nWe get outside with masks on to try and calm down and get to the bottom of it all. We have an emotional talk about how their choices have impacted their ability to see their grandchild and it finally appears to have sunk in, even though we have explained this to them before. \n\nWhatever, we kinda patch things up and she apologises. It seems sincere but still seemed to lack the understanding of the severity of the offense since she then asked me for an APOLOGY for threatening to call the cops. No, I'm not sorry. You broke into our house and my reaction was justified, or so I thought. She didn't push it after I ignored the comment completely and continued with the regular good bye pleasantries, but I am curious if that may have been an AH move. ######","completion":" NTA I mean, come on, she entered your property without permission, that’s crossing some hard boundaries. It doesn’t matter if she is family, that’s crossing the line. ######"}
{"prompt":"My flatmate and I have been splitting rent \/ living together for 1.5 years. She’s my mums co workers daughter and there’s a loose arrangement that both parents help us with rent (living in the UK is rough) so both of us sort of go along with this arrangement as it helps both of us save on finances. \n\nShe is a young mum with 2 kids aged 7 and 8. Because she’s still in her 20’s she will often go out most nights and go to parties\/ clubs\/ etc and in general she is more of a ‘fun mummy’ than a more stable one. \n\nOver time I’ve frustratedly realised she will leave the kids with me and be out all night etc. Lately her kids have been calling me dad, with direct encouragement from their mum. \n\nShe laughs and says it’s cute, films me and them without any of our consent and says ‘daddy’s here’ etc. I don’t like this and have constantly called the police anytime I suspect she’s about to leave them with me etc who come around and ‘talk to her’ every time but that’s it. \n\nI finally told the kids that I’m not their dad, even though I’m sure on a visceral level they knew that, and  they were visibly upset. \n\nMy flatmate, her mum, and my mum are all saying what I did was terribly cruel, and that everybody knows it ‘takes a village’ to raise kids and that ‘ it was obvious’ I should be helping looking after the kids if I’m living there and that I need to grow the fuck up. \n\nAm I the asshole,? ######","completion":" NTA I mean she’s young but she’s being so grossly irresponsible. Just because you share a space with her doesn’t mean you signed up to coparent her kids I mean Jesus calling you dad? That’s fucked up ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, so I have a few different properties just all over the place, most of them are empty or I rent them out for next to nothing (I’m not big on the idea of making money being a landlord). Anyway, I had a girlfriend for a short time, and things didn’t work out but I said she could live in an apartment I own for as long as she wants and all she had to do was pay the bills, as she was going through a tough time. So that’s been the case for some time now. Recently I met a man who’s been really affected by the pandemic, and is on the verge of being homeless, whereas my ex gf is making decent money now and doesn’t necessarily need the place. So I told her she has a month to move out, as I’ll be moving in this guy. Some may say, why not offer him another one of my properties to stay or something. Well this apartment happens to be the only one in the state, my other ones are either overseas or out of state (I use them for holiday purposes not rental purposes it’d be redundant to own a bunch of properties in the same area). \n\nMy ex says this is unfair of me to do during this time, and that I promised she could stay as long as she liked. Whilst I do feel guilty I ultimately think I made the right decision. ######","completion":" NTA I mean it is your property, however you might seriously want to check and make sure you’re doing everything legally, especially with the pandemic going on. ######"}
{"prompt":"This sounds like a dick move, but hear me out. My younger brother (12) has been playing Fortnite continuously every day for this entire “break”. He recently lost his Xbox power cord to our dad for not doing the dishes and other chores that were not completed, but he still has his phone. Because he isn’t downstairs playing Xbox, he is playing Fortnite videos on YouTube at stupid high volume level. He will sit in my room and watch them, and I’ve asked him multiple times to turn it down, as I’m also trying to play my Xbox with some friends, and need to be able to hear them. He largely ignores me and says “it’s not that loud”. For context, I’m also a weeb, and enjoy a variety of Sub and Dub anime. And I thought that if he won’t turn his volume down, I won’t either. He is not a fan of anime at all, and has asked me in the past to not watch it near him because he “thinks the voices are too high pitched and creepy.” So I thought when we eat lunch (my dad is working right now and we are home alone) I can turn my sub anime to the max, and make him understand that it’s rude to do things like this. ######","completion":" NTA I lowkey agree with you sometimes younger people need to be put in your shoes to fully understand how rude something can be. Not everyone has developed empathy naturally. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.\n\nShe’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.\n\nI told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA I listened to bananas stuff at that age. Rap, Norwegian death metal, Numa Numa. She's just exploring and expressing herself with different music. Sounds like you and your ex need to have an open an honest convo as to why she is so against it. If she can't articulate a reason other than \"it's inappropriate\" then nothing should change. ######"}
{"prompt":"My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.\n\nLately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to \"help out\" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.\n\nNot only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees. \n\nI finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee. \n\nOf course she cried to my brother that I \"attacked\" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ######","completion":" NTA I know people are thinking you should have left it to your brother to handle, but you already talked to him and he either didn't do anything or she ignored what he said. Either way it's not good business to have someone who isn't an employee at all drifting in and out and interfering with what the employees are there to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)\n\nMy mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9\/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9\/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######","completion":" NTA I know parents who refuse to let family watch their kids over something petty. I think your reason is reeeeally valid. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’ve always tried really hard at school and been for the most part an A-\/A student- by no means perfect grades but generally good grades.\n\nMy brother on the other hand straight up doesn’t try at all. He’s really smart so in some classes he gets B+’s (considering how little he tries and the fact that there are large assignments that he neglects to turn in, this is pretty impressive) but there are also many classes that he’s more in the C\/C- range. \n\nMy parents try to force him to do his work and they’ve gotten him tutors and stuff but my brother either refuses to get tutored or doesn’t pay attention, wasting time and money. \n\nThe thing is, now that we’re doing online learning, my parents have basically given up trying to enforce any rules on him whatsoever. \n\nThey still force me to store all of my devices in the kitchen in the night bc “blue light is harmful to sleep” but they don’t care at all that my brother is staying up past 2am playing video games with his friends. \n\nWhere the disagreement comes in is tonight, I was feeling stressed and I wanted to watch Netflix on my computer before bed. \n\nThis started an argument between my mom and I because she was refusing to let me keep my computer in my room *just that once* while at that moment my brother was playing video games with his friends. \n\nMy mom said that it was unreasonable for me to be upset because my brother and I are “going on different paths in life and so she treats us a little differently” which I understand to some extent and am usually very accepting of (this device thing isn’t the only disparity in the way we’re treated it’s just the one relevant to this story) but it just felt like such a blatant double standard that my mom wasn’t giving me this little bit of leeway in something that my brother is allowed to do literally every day. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta I honestly think your parents have probably just given up on your brother and probably don't see him as being what they would consider \"successful\" in life but parents who do this to their children usually make them a lot less motivated individuals in the future. I would talk to a therapist and definitely have a talk with your parents. This isn't right ######"}
{"prompt":"We're currently not speaking because of this issue, since I find it gross and my boyfriend can't see my problem with it. \n\nI do most of the cooking in our relationship, which I am fine with. However, occasionally my boyfriend will want to do some cooking together\/do some baking. We do a lot of activities together, especially now we're both home a lot more.\n\nThe one thing I cannot stand is a habit he has when it comes to food. If my boyfriend thinks something is too dry or needs a better consistency, he will use his own spit and put it into the food. For example, the other day we were icing homemade cookies and I caught him 'thinning out' the icing mixture by spitting inside the bowl and mixing it in.\n\nThis has been an issue for some time, so he tries to hide it whenever he does it from me. But every time I catch him I just find it gross. His reply is to shrug and tell me that I get more of his saliva in my mouth when we kiss anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal and makes literally no difference. I've pleaded with him to use water, but he says that 'the texture isn't the same' and has pointed out that 'if I can't tell the texture is different, surely it doesn't matter that it's not water anyway'.\n\nI know that in a way he's right and it's not like I complain about his spit when we make out, but something about it being mixed with food just grosses me out. \n\nAITA for not wanting my boyfriend to spit in our food when we cook together? ######","completion":" NTA I honestly am struggling to even believe this is real. Who in their right mind uses spit in food? Especially food other people are eating? Definitely not the same as using water it’s just not sanitary. Does he brush his teeth first or is he getting old food particles from whatever he’s eaten that day in the food he’s cooking? ######"}
{"prompt":"Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######","completion":" NTA I have two big, sweet pit bulls. They like to walk in different directions and I can’t control them when I walk them together. Therefore I walk them separately. It’s safer for them, me, and everyone else. ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex-wife thinks I’m the asshole, but we have a weak relationship anyway, so I’m turning to you folks. I (42M) have primary custody of my child “Olly” (15). Olly belongs to the LGBT, which I think I’ve done a good job of supporting. Olly has had a tough time of it the past few years, and they are making terrible grades at school and just generally failing to launch. I think a lot of this is due to issues in my ex wife’s household, but that’s a topic for another post.\n\nAnyway, Olly has come out a total of four times. The first time, they came out as gay at the age of 12. Once everyone was informed, they had a “coming out” party with their grandparents, me, my ex, and some friends. It was nice, and I thought that was the end of it.\n\nBut no. When Olly was 13, they came out as bisexual, as they’d developed a crush on a girl at school. About 9 months later, they came out as a trans woman (MtF). Finally, about a month ago, they revealed themselves to be agender (essentially a person who doesn’t feel like a boy OR a girl). \n\nI’ve been refusing to throw coming out parties since the first one — we are on a shoestring budget, and our current apartment is shitty and not fit for a party. However, given that we are coming out of corona and Olly has saved some money from a side hustle they have, Olly is asking for another party. Plus, it’s pride month now, so Olly insists that the time would be especially appropriate. \n\nI’m still saying no, because even if it’s their own money, it’s just a waste. Olly wants to take expensive art lessons this summer, and that money would really help us afford it. Plus, coming out for a fourth time seems like too much.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA I have never even heard of a coming out party and I have many friends who are LGBT and I myself am bisexual...\n\nHonestly, to me, if someone was to make a big deal about my sexuality\/gender, it would feel like they are pointing out that it is not the norm. But I've never been one to celebrate Pride and such. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday, after I get off my 12hr shift from treating covid patients at the hospital. I park and am going upstairs. My wife stopped by her car so I planned to meet her in the lobby to go up the elevator to our apartment. \n\nRight as the door opens she says some guy started coughing on her on the way to the elevator. He was with his sister and niece. After my wife turns around and says “are you serious?” He laughs and says “it’s a joke”. \n\nBut this ticked me off, i go upstairs and confront the guy. Asking him if he thinks it’s funny to cough on people and say it’s a joke. He insistently continues it’s a joke, I’m sorry. I tell him i work with covid patients everyday and see them die on a daily basis. He then starts getting nervous and starts stuttering. But still insistent that it was a harmless joke. I ask him if it’s funny in a pandemic and he still says yes. He starts blaming it on he’s been quarantined for 8 weeks and he’s not thinking straight. We ask him if that’s the type of behavior he teaches his niece and he can’t answer. \n\nI tell him, you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still transmit the disease. If you get my wife sick, you are responsible. He continues to chuckle and say it’s a joke. Until I tell him if she gets sick, you will be charged with acts of terrorism with a biological weapon as the Justice Department so nicely stated recently in March. He then gets scared and profusely apologizes. However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke. \n\nI ask him for his ID so i can take a picture for contact tracing. He refuses, so i take a picture of him. \n\nI reported him to the local PD. Who now has opened a case and has requested his personal information from our leasing office. \n\nSo Reddit, pandemic and all AITA for reporting him? ######","completion":" NTA I have heard of a case in my region where people were tested, even with no symptoms, because they wanted to visit elderly family members. Sure enough; positive. They had zero symptoms but were transmitting the disease everywhere they went. Golf. Carpool. Shopping. And you don’t even have to cough for it to spread, just normal breathing or talking is enough to spread it. \n\nNothing funny about this. Glad it’s a crime. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled \"HEY!\" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said \"your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc.\" Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?\nTl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######","completion":" NTA I have a toddler and a baby. Sometimes they get woken up. I hate it. Especially when it’s the only good nap they may get for the day. That being said, even if I’m annoyed, I’ve NEVER blamed the person who caused the noise. You can go about your business how ever you see fit, regardless of whether there could be a sleeping child. It was a public place, and you were totally not in the wrong. You could’ve been playing loud music and STILL not have been in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"Husband *has* to make a comment about anything I watch. Sitcom on? \"Ew, I hate her hair.\" Historical video, \"what are you watching?\" Only for him to leave or interrupt within five seconds of me beginning to explain it. Watching a dog training video? \"That's not how you train the dogs.\" He made fun of Frozen 2 relentlessly while our kids were watching. Thankfully the oldest has learned to tune him out, so nobody but me minded.   \n\n\nWe have half a dozen screens in the home, so if he doesn't want to watch what's on my TV (I almost exclusively watch in our upstairs living room and we have two TVs downstairs and he has his own man cave with a gigantic computer monitor) he has the option to leave. I'm so sick of his pessimism at anything I'm watching that I'll pause my show or put on some comedy that you don't need dozens of episodes to understand what the heck is going on.   \n\n\nSo, once again, AITA here? He makes it seem like I am vastly overreacting and that I should take his comments in stride. ######","completion":" NTA I have a family member like this & it just ruins the experience of watching anything. I don't even tell this person in passing conversation what I've been watching because they'll have to comment on how it's 'stupid' or whatever. ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty much every time I go out I see numerous people wearing masks incorrectly in ways that make the masks completely useless. Most commonly having the mask only covering their mouth and not their nose. This seems like common sense, you breathe through your nose so the mask needs to also cover your nose. \n\nThe worst is when its food places, a local ice cream place, the coffee shop, fast food, etc. \n\nWIBTA for reporting these employees? ######","completion":" Nta I hate when workers are not doing their part. Either do it right or don't do it at all ######"}
{"prompt":"I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.\n\nAITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######","completion":" NTA I don’t understand why her religious beliefs should influence your behavior. You didn’t ask her to eat pepperoni and you didn’t even eat it in front of her. She needs to calm down a little bit. You have nothing to apologize for and she is the one not respecting you. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nHello everyone, a bit torn here and looking for outside guidance.\n\nAbout 4 months ago I moved into an apartment with 3 strangers. The move in was a bit annoying — not only did they not have a key for me (I had to copy keys from one of the roommates after moving in) but my room was not vacuumed and generally kind of grimy.\n\nFFW to about a month ago. For context, my room was by FAR the worst of the four bedrooms. Like an order of magnitude worse (no real door, tiny, hardly a window). I found out that my rent, which I’d assumed was ~15% of the total rent was actually 25%. This really annoyed me, so I decided to move out (and gave a months notice)\n\nI just moved out this week, and my roommate said they’d fucked up the proration math for the new roommate, and I was going to be out 50$. I grimaced, but decided to just let it go. I have since moved elsewhere, about an hour away.\n\nToday the roommate asked if I can return my key. I should have left it there, but forgot. I told the roommate I lost them and was still looking for them. She said I could come to the house and get her keys to make a copy for the new roommate. The grocery store around the block from the apartment has the ability to make keys. This also frustrated me in general as I think it’s an unreasonable request.\n\nI’m kind of torn — on the one hand, I should give it back. On the other, it’s a huge pain and I wasn’t given a key when I moved in... I’m generally just miffed at the group and kind of just want to lie and say I’ve lost it. \n\nWIBTA here? Further, do you think this pettiness will make me feel better? Please advise! ######","completion":" NTA I don’t think you’re obligated to give the key if you weren’t provided one when moving in. However the person that gets screwed over and has to make a new key is the new person moving in who has nothing to do with the whole situation, not your old housemates. It would be kind to them to just give the key. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own a retail shop \/ deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you \/ stares you down and says something to the effect of \"you're going to give me a good portion right?\" Hes a bigger muscular guy.\n\nHes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive \/ intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.\n\nFinally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a \"good portion.\" He said that I \"did want to do that.\" I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.\n\nHe tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######","completion":" NTA I don’t see what his problem is. Where does someone get off threatening violence over portion size? ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night. \nI have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does . \nI have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that,  I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time. \nWe have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room). \nI constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive  with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night. \nIt’s put a strain on our relationship. \nAITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ######","completion":" NTA I don’t see this relationship working out, you dont matter to her and your needs don’t matter to her. You deserve better. You DO matter. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, a few weeks ago me and my husband found out we were expecting, super excited. Because of the industry I work in, I wanted to tell my foreman ASAP, even though I was still VERY early (around 3\/4 weeks). The problem was, my FIL works in the same industry as me and my husband (construction), so we figured we’d just tell our parents that weekend to save them from hearing it from someone else. Well, we went to both our parents’ houses and things went very smoothly and everyone was so over joyed, but I did say very sternly, “ I want to hold off on telling everyone else since it is so early, i hope that’s okay”. But I’m not sure my MIL even registered what I said because the next thing we know she’s calling my husband’s grandmother and aunt...\nI said the same thing to my parents and they completely understood and kept their lips sealed, saying they’d wait for me to say “when” basically.  \nWell my husband was telling me the next day that his mom had told his other aunt, and then his cousin, and a couple uncles. \nI was immediately stressed, I’d had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, which is why I wanted to exercise caution to begin with. \nHis mother has made mis-steps like this is the past. I understand it’s not just MY news, but I wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone and their mother. \nI’m finding it hard to move on, and believe me I want to. But at the same time I feel disrespected by my MIL, and want her to realize that. Not sure if that’s even worth doing with her though. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA I don't know if you can get through to her, but this was very inconsiderate of her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have an uncle, we were always super tight with each other. He is younger than most of his siblings so he is closer to my age. He would always come to visit when I was younger. But suddenly, a few years ago, he stopped  coming over, no texts, no calls. Radio silence. \n\nWhen l was older, l later found out he was shunned for his orientation. Naturally, I was disgusted. My family is foward thinking on most matters but for some reason when it comes to LGBTQ + its like talking to a wall.\n\nI remember he has a Facebook, I make an account and talk to him. It's like he never left, the conversation flows so naturally. \n\nWe continue like this for the longest time. Then just two weeks ago, he asks me a question. Whether my dad knows that we are talking.  I answer honestly.  He didn't. \n\nMy uncle then says we can't talk, if my dad doesn't know. He doesn't want to make more bad blood than there is already. He demands I tell him. He says he doesn't want to be anyone's secret. \n\nI gather the confidence to tell my father and he is irate when l do. He says I must cut all contact immediately. It's useless,  I can't convince him otherwise. \n\nNow is my problem is this.\n\nIf l tell my uncle the truth, he won't agree to ever talk again. He is too good for his own good.\n\nI don't want to betray his trust. I love him and l know lying to him will gut him.\n\nI really don't want to hurt him. I don't want to lose him either\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA I could not even imagine how hurtful this situation would be. Your uncle sounds like a bigger man than your dad could ever hope to be (no offense) but if you really love your uncle, you’d honor his wishes by telling him the truth. I am sure your uncle would love to have you back in his life & I’m fairly confident he would put up with your dad’s BS if it means having you around again. Are you living with your dad? What’s the worst possible consequence he could inflict on you if you stayed in touch with your uncle anyways? ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.\n\nI decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.\n\nAm I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######","completion":" NTA I completely agree, she shouldn’t give you a choice if she’s going to be mad at one of the options. It’s like a trap. The way you said she should have phrased it is a really good example and you should keep calling her out. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.\nI woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply \"yes please\" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.\n\n While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says \"dad my cup was there\" his response was \"you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning\"... I hear this conversation and I ask if \"my wife had her cup in place\", he said \"yes but she knows how I am\".... I responded back with \" you are just going to have to wait until she is finished\"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so. \nSo AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######","completion":" Nta i can't belive how disrespectfull he is to his own kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a college student (20 M) who’s currently home due to the current pandemic. Initially my plan was to take a couple summer classes at my university but now they’ve been moved online so I’m still at home. I’ve been staying productive while I’ve been here, but my mother has constantly been pushing into my privacy despite me making it clear I don’t appreciate it (I’m not doing anything illegal or immoral, I just like being left alone at times).\n\nRecently we got a mesh wifi system which I found out comes with parental controls. I didn’t think much of it, but I’ve noticed that the wifi had started to stop working at 9:30 pm everyday. When I indirectly pointed this out, the problem seemed to magically rectify itself and I hoped that’d be the end. Cut to today when I check my phone at 9 and a “parental control” screen pops up on a very much PG website, and the wifi’s stopped functioning. Am I being unreasonable in assuming that I’m too old for these types of restrictions? I get that I’m under their roof right now, but it feels bad being treated as if I have a bedtime despite being an adult.[a screenshot of the parental controls](https:\/\/imgur.com\/a\/XkeCLLi) ######","completion":" NTA I can understand wanting to protect kids (even young adults) from some of the wilder parts of the Internet, but keeping a 20 year old from using them internet or regular movies seems extreme.  \nOf course that’s assuming you’re not failing to tell us about your hidden porn addiction that resulted in you flunking out of school or some other situation that would make your parents go nuts. But barring anything like that, this is extreme. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI don't have the happiest home life, my dad and mom got into a lot of fights because he was cheating on her. I don't know why they're still together honestly.\n\nHe's also been angry at me a lot for academics, I've been studying from home and he thinks I'm being lazy and stupid\n\nHe and she fight a lot, and when that happens, I just kind of mentally shut down. Like let my eyes unfocus, stop paying attention to my hearing or other senses. Just relax into my own mind. It honestly feels like an out of body experience a little, I feel untethered from my own body, like I'm floating through empty space. It takes a while to come back too; like I feel kind of like I'm deep deep underwater and anything that someone says or does is blurred and delayed so much by the time it gets to me.\n\nI know that sounds super weird but honestly it's the thing that's keeping me sane through this shit.\n\nBut I think it's been making my dad and mom really mad, when either of them is angry with me and I go to that place, they get furious, they yell at me for being a \"fucking vegetable\" and accuse me of being messed up in the head. Tried to shake me out of it once. Been telling their friends that I'm autistic. I don't think I am.\n\nI know it makes them mad but it's honestly the nicest thing I can do for myself, I'm so sick of their shit. If I can't go somewhere physically, I guess the next best thing is to leave there mentally.\n\nAITA for going to that other mental place when there's anger at home, even if it makes my dad and mom mad? ######","completion":" NTA I am not a psych professional, but that sounds like dissociation. It’s a common coping response to stress and trauma; you are shielding yourself for the emotional harm and fear of physical harm you sense when the people who have power over you and who are supposed to protect and care for you seem to lose control of themselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! \nMy sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile. \n\nMy husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around? \n\nWell due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding. \n\nHere’s where I feel like TA. \nI informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present. \nThis information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me. \n\nI’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA I actually laughed out loud at the audacity she had to expect you to drop everything and being your young child to a wedding without either parent in attendance. For what?  A picture? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.\nToday I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.\nFast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######","completion":" NTA hunny you made arrangements, you did what you had to do . Whether it’s jealousy or he’s just a dick he’s just trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t let him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've had this phone number for 3 years. Since then, I receive many texts from the guy asking for verification codes and security codes sent to my number. The verification codes have started to seem scammy, including Google verification codes from non-Google numbers. And he asks me to send the code so he can verify his identity.\n\nFor years, I've been okay with it because I figure it can't hurt to help this guy out. But now, after years, I'm fed up and I'm starting to think my own identity is in danger from this guy still using my cell phone number.\n\nAfter the most recent suspicious interaction I've had (the various Google verification codes) I decided to just block him. I feel bad, AITA? Should I unblock him and continue to help him unlock his accounts? ######","completion":" NTA hundred percent. In 3 years, he should’ve figured his shit out. Does seem shady ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German. \n\nTo me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him. \n\nI understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him. \n\nIt came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling \"English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine.\" I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's \"side\" and conversing in German with her? ######","completion":" NTA however your SO is a raging asshole.\n\n Yeah, there's a very good argument to be made that you shouldn't carry on conversations in front of somebody in a language that they don't speak.\n\nAll that goes out the window when it comes to a *98 YEAR OLD HAVING MEMORY ISSUES*.   Yelling at her is *so* far beyond the pale that I can't even wrap my brain around it.  For me....this would be a dealbreaker. ######"}
{"prompt":"Will provide more context if needed, it's a lot to fit in to 3000 characters. Using my throwaway since this is quite personal.\n\nMy mother died around 2.5 years ago. I now live with my father, and two of my three brothers. My youngest brother is very high functioning autistic (Please excuse my language here, I know the term high functioning isn't the best but I'm not sure what the appropriate term is, please feel free to correct me and I'll change it in an edit). He's 13 now, very keep-to-himself, just likes to play on the computer, go to the shops, and go for walks. He does have some behavioural issues, such as having huge meltdowns whilst watching TV because he doesn't like what happens on it. None of us are very close with my dad since he was the breadwinner, and he wasn't a huge part of our lives until our mum passed. Obviously now we see him all the time.\n\nAfter my mum passed, my dad told me that in the will, I will get my youngest brother's share of the inheritance and be financially responsible for him. In my understanding, this means he goes into my care. I was never asked if I was okay with this, I was just told about it. I believe this was decided because since he was born I was actively helping out, and I started babysitting semi-regularly when I was about 10. Whenever my mum would worry herself about who would look after him in the future, I'd chip in with \"It's okay, I'll do it!\", because 10 year old's don't really think about consequences. I continued saying I'd take him on until I was around 16 because secondary school brought on some strong depressive episodes and I genuinely didn't think I'd be around past age 18, so again, a non-adult not thinking about the consequences.\n\nMe and my brothers discuss it regularly because we know even if we all pool money together, we can't afford a care home, but I don't know what options we have really. I guess I just want to know, AITA for not wanting to become a carer? ######","completion":" NTA however I don't know what country you're in but if your brother is high functioning, he definitely won't need a care home, at most he might need some form of supported living or someone to pop in a couple times a week... ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######","completion":" NTA how is it your mother is more irresponsible (and less dependable) than an eight year old? WTF really? Thanks mom ######"}
{"prompt":"(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)\n\nYesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that \"mom and dad hate me and I don't know why\". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.\n\nFast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?\n\nTLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######","completion":" NTA how can they successfully treat it if he doesn't even understand he has it? ######"}
{"prompt":"My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.\n\nI told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.\n\nI didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.\n\nAfter he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked. \n\nI waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3\" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1\/4\")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.\n\nHe yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a \"hot shot\" because i was measuring things.\n\nSo be honest please. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA hotshot with your fancy measuring tape and math skills. ######"}
{"prompt":"&amp;#x200B;\n\nI'm 15 and my brother is around his late 20's- and when I was in the shower I suddenly realized that I forgot to ask my mom to buy some pads for me (She wasn't around the house at this time) So I called out to my brother and asked him if he could buy some for me. He told me no and I thought it was because He thought he was gonna pay for them (He gets mad when I ask him to buy some food for me- although I always pay him back)- So I clarified that I was gonna pay for them- He told me no again, more firmly and angry this time. So I got mad and yelled at him to just buy some for me because I couldn't go outside to buy them myself (This was the first time I've ever yelled at my family ever). Then he went silent and a few seconds later I heard the door slam. A few minutes later he came back.  \n\n\nI realized that I shouldn't have gotten angry and I got out of the bathroom to apologize and get the pads- but when I got out he yelled at me and threw the pack of pads at my face- He told me that it was really embarassing to get those for me because he was a guy and the cashier was asking him a bunch of stuff he didn't know the answer to (like what brand, wings or no wings, etc). So I cried and I just grabbed the pads and went back to my room.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI told my mom and dad what happened and my dad sides with my brother, and my mom told me to just understand because \"he was a man, we're different from them and they shouldn't know about stuff like this\"- I'm in my room and have had a few hours to think it over and I still feel angry because of what he did but also ashamed for asking him in the first place- I'm really sad and confused- AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Hopefully one day he grows up, or just stays out of the dating scene because if he's too immature to buy pads then he's too immature for women. There's nothing to even be embarrassed over. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m not even kidding and I really wish I was joking, like who tf looks at a baby and decide to call him something from twilight? My eldest brother thinks I’m being too hard on him. But, come on guys, Moonlight? I don’t want my nephew to be bullied at school. ######","completion":" NTA honestly it got a laugh out of me. Poor kid. What is the mother's opinion on that? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a graduate student in Illinois.  I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends.   When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food.  It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves.  I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat.  During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me.  At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying \"I would like to eat just my food\".  As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food.  After the fourth time asking, I agreed.  As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back.  \n\nA few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75.  My meal was $15.  What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried.  Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times.   I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it.    I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it.  What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######","completion":" NTA honestly I think you got scammed buddy lol. Next time I guess you have to clarify how the bill will be split before you start eating, thats tacky but they got tacky first. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for not giving my ex-wife permission to take the kids to Mexico?\n\nMy ex wife told me yesterday that she booked a trip to Mexico with her and our kids for this Sunday July 12th for a week. She expects me to sign off letting the kids go but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the safety of my kids and current state of COVID-19. AITA? Should I let them go?\n\n\nNote: posting this for a friend at his permission who does not have a Reddit account. ######","completion":" NTA holy moly Batman. People are getting on each other's cases about backyard barbecues and she wants to take them to Mexico?? Wow.\n\nAnd as an aside, if you're co-parenting, shouldn't she ask *before* she books a trip? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey there,\n\nFirst time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.\n\nBackstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child\/block contact.\n\nWhen I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.\n\nThere’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA his response would definitely raise a red flag for me. For him to jump to the conclusion that you are accusing him of cheating is VERY suspicious. Especially if there have been other red flags. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (M32) and I (F27) discussed children before we got married, at that point we were both unsure of whether or not we wanted children. Last year he told me that he wanted to try for a baby and I agreed on the premise that I would get to decide the full names of our children (maybe this seems petty to some of you, but the names are very important to me). To be honest, I would have likely still had children with him even if he said no, but he said yes. We did agree that he’d get to veto any one name I chose if he hated it though. \n\nFast forward a year and I’m 5 months pregnant. We’ve decided to keep the baby’s gender a surprise so we’ve been working on girl and boy names. He vetoed Anastasia and talked me out of Lucianna, so for a girl we landed on Clara. For a boy, he vetoed Logan and I eventually chose Sebastian. Sorted, right? Wrong. \n\nHis mother is desperate for the baby to be named after herself, her husband and her parents (with the first name being either the baby’s great grandmother’s name or great grandfather’s name, and the middle name being baby’s grandmother or father’s name.). She’s been blowing up our phones about it but truthfully (and I feel mean saying this) I don’t like any of their names. \n\nShe’s been blowing up my husband’s phone and he’s starting to argue with me about the name. I reminded him of our deal but he told me we should honour the family and his dead grandparents (who died long before we made our deal). \n\nI will love my baby no matter what he\/she is called, but I desperately don’t want to name my baby Sharon or Nigel. \n\nAITA for not wanting to name my baby after my husband’s dead grandparents? AITA for caring so much about the name? Does baby’s name even matter as long as we love it? Am I being selfish? ######","completion":" NTA his mom begging you to name your baby after her is peak narcissism. And dead people don’t care if you name children after them. \n\nAlso, why do his handful of family members get priority over yours? ######"}
{"prompt":"We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######","completion":" NTA his behaviour is not appropriate, especially given his history. I have to ask you sincerely though, do you really believe he has changed? Or that he will? ######"}
{"prompt":"my (18) sister (23) does this thing where she’ll take the rest of the pads when there’s not much left and doesn’t tell anyone. i’m fine with her taking the pads but i just want her to tell me beforehand so that i can ask mom to buy pads. she doesn’t tell me until after i ask her where the pads are. she has done this multiple times before btw. this morning, my period decided to come early and when i asked where the pads were, my sister went into her room (the pads are supposed to stay in the bathroom) and gave me two pads. now that i have money to buy pads,  i’m thinking about going to the store tomorrow, buying pads, and hiding them. i know my sister will be mad and my mom will be on her side but it’s honestly annoying that she doesn’t say anything about the lack of pads when she knows she isn’t the only household member who gets a period. ######","completion":" NTA hide your pads. I used to live with my stepmom and she would do this on purpose. To feel glorified for providing something essential to me. Whenever I'd buy my own stash she'd get upset when I put it in my room like she did in the past. So I got petty and bought the thickest tampons since she's against tampons. ######"}
{"prompt":"A while ago I had my second child. It was while I was pregnant that I learned she was delaying vaccines for her kids because “bad science and autism”. I was honestly shocked and dismayed that I had had so many play dates without knowing she was an antivaxxer. \n\nAnyway, I managed to brush off a handful of play dates during my second pregnancy, citing work, being tired, etc. I didn’t feel comfortable having her kids around me knowing they weren’t vaccinated while I was pregnant. So fastforward to my baby’s arrival. \n\nI asked my pediatrician if I was being hyperbolic because I didn’t want her kids around us before my newborn was vaccinated. He strongly recommended I cancel all play dates with her until everyone is vaccinated or my kids are old enough for there to be a reduced risk of infection. \n\nSo my friend was asking if we could get together, if her kids could meet then new baby, etc. I didn’t feel right blowing her off anymore. I told her straight out that play dates and visits were on semi-permanent hold until my kids were older than two or her kids were vaccinated. \n\nShe was upset, but it’s happened before apparently, so she said she was getting used to the “hysteria-fueled rejections”. I didn’t bite but just said I wished her the best, etc. But then she said, “well I appreciate you respecting my choice”. \n\nI corrected her and told her that I absolutely did not respect her choice whatsoever, but it is what it is. She called me a crazy hysterical person and hung up on me. Obviously that friendship is dead. \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA her calling you hysterical and crazy is sheer projection ######"}
{"prompt":"I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.\n\nI continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit\/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.\n\nThen it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef\/chicken.\n\nI walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, \"Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. \" \n\nTo my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.\n\nTL;DR   Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ######","completion":" NTA he’s no doubt going to touch food in the store and the level of unsanitary that is is pretty much off the charts. It sounds like you were petty low key about it as well ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad is, to put it mildly, pretty selfish when it comes to food. If there are, for example, a pepperoni and a BBQ chicken pizza in the fridge he'll eat the latter purely because he knows it's the one meant for my tea.\n\nMore than once I've gone to make myself something to eat, only to realise that my dad has eaten his way through the things we both like and only left the things I _don't_. It's deliberate.\n\nHe is, however, differently picky about food than I am. Among other things, he won't eat pasta, spinach, or anything explicitly labelled as vegetarian or vegan.\n\nSo to prevent him from eating my food before his own I often buy things I _know_ he doesn't like. Tortellini, spinach and ricotta pizza, veggie chilli, etc. This means I have a stock of \"easy\" foods, without having to worry if they're going to be eaten before I want them.\n\nHe then complains there's nothing to eat. The fridge, freezer, and cupboards can be rammed full...but if everything of mine is stuff he won't eat, then there's \"nothing\".\n\nAITA for depriving my dad of the ability to eat everything that's meant for my meals? ######","completion":" NTA he's a grown man and I presume he knows where the grocery store is? ######"}
{"prompt":"Here’s the sitch. We finally upgraded to a King mattress from a Queen. I’m thinking to myself, “Great, I’m finally going to have enough space to stretch out.” We put a blanket down the middle of the bed because he’s notorious for rolling over in the middle of the night and bumping into me. So the blanket keeps him on his side of the bed. I told him the blanket should go down the center of the bed. But he keeps INSISTING that it should be closer to my side because I’m smaller (I’m 5’ 2” and he’s 5’ 8”). So I keep pushing the blanket towards the middle and every time I do that he gets annoyed and says it should be proportional. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA he's 5'8, he's not Paul Bunyun. Plus king beds are huge, how are you anywhere near each other? ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a short story, I live in England, born and raised, a friend of mine who I've known for years since we were in primary school once asked me if he could use my debit card to buy the DLCs for Grand Theft Auto IV on his XBOX 360, I agreed for him to do it He then returned my card to me and said he would pay be back. e didn't. He left my card details on his xbox for a couple of months making unauthorised purchases, to the point when my bank statement came in and it showed tonnes of money being poured out from my account, I then confronted him showing him the bank statements, I then went on his XBOX and I found my card details still there. I was pissed off at him for doing this as in REALLY PISSED I then removed my card, I then called up Microsoft asking them to refund my money and they kindly did, I then cutoff contact with him and never saw him again.\nLast I heard of him was when I tried to contact me i then blocked him. Haven't heard of him in ages.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA he was stealing from you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.\n \nI disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.\n \nI scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA he was pretty much asking for it when he said that and you did what most people would do, he shouldn’t have posted it in the first place ######"}
{"prompt":"We're 21, for the reference.\n\nI have mainly lovely classmates, but this guy (M) is something else, he's a year older (he studied abroad for a year and had to repeat the classes as our school is very strict) and you cannont imagine the level of annoyance. I'd describe him like a weird mix between a xenopfobic boomer and your constantly nagging 13 y.o. brother.\n\nWe were assigned a final project for our literature class and I was in the same group as him. Fun. It had to be my lucky day, because my period arrived.\n\nAnyway, we were having a skype \"meeting\" and I wasn't well. At all. At one point M started making fun of me for looking pale and I just told him, I had my period, so if he was so kind as to shut up I'd be grateful. \n\nInstead he continued making those clichè jests (sexist, too) about how it meant I was going to be hysterical and have a lots of pimples while crying at romcoms. \n\nI was so fucking agry! So I started to explain him \"the real\" struggle. How some women have fevers, how there are horrible cramps, sensitive breasts, blood, being tired, weirds poop-routines as ovaries do some weird magic, sensitivity to smells\/perfumes, feeling dirty, HOW EXPENSIVE ALL THE SHIT IS etc. Then I told him all about exhausting men who think, women just fake all those struggles so they what, have their daily dose of drama? \n\nLong story short, it was a TED talk. Afterwards he was too shocked to say anything, and some of my girl-friends started to list their own problems. So I presume he really got scared the picture. (More like a whole gallery of pictures.)\n\nWe finished the project and called it a day.\n\nOne of my female friends wrote me how it was all unnecessary and we'd taken it too far, embarrassing him. She also told me she didn't want to know about my period. \n\nShould I have shut it? I mean, I'm from a family where is not a taboo, so I could cross the line. However, who tf pokes fun on someone because they are pale? ######","completion":" NTA he wanted to joke about your suffering then you explaining your suffering is on the table . Periods are basic bodily functions it’s not like you were sending pics of a bloody pad or something ######"}
{"prompt":"I know I know, but hear me out.\n\nSo my neighbor (25?M) runs a prank youtube account (it's up and coming, you may have seen it) and he basically scares women to \"show the struggle of women and what they go through.\" \n\nSo I (21F) was standing in my driveway getting ready to go for my morning run. I take my first step and all of a sudden I see a man pop up from behind my car and and tries to grab my wrist. My heart was in my goddamn throat. I screamed, took out my pepper spray, and I'm not going to lie I went a little crazy with it. That's when I see it's him, and he's obviously not happy.\n\nHe's okay, but now he's threatening legal action for the medical bills. After he got checked he told me it was just a social experiment or whatever but he was on my property without my knowledge and I just got scared. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA He wanted to assault you on camera to put the encounter up online to show what women do when they're in danger to prove what? If he was on women's side in this shit he should be glad your prepared to not become a victim. You might want to file a police report against him just to cover your bases. Really, what an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######","completion":" NTA he shouldn't have committed to that if he couldn't handle it ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is a gamer through and through. Right now his game of choice is Call of Duty: Whatever version is out right now. He games 3-4 nights out of the week. \n\nI... am not a gamer. Mostly, it makes my eyes water and I run around aimlessly. Case and point: I button-mashed my way through Tekkan as a child, and only grinded in Tony Hawk Pro-Skater. I enjoyed the way I played the game, but have never played a game to beat it.\n\nFor my birthday this year my husband bought me the game Animal Crossing: New Horizon and I have really been enjoying it. If you play, you know that the multi-player capabilities of this game are lacking, and you can only have one island per switch. I created my island, named it, and invited my husband to create a character to play. \n\nI play two nights a week (maybe), but that is all I want to play. My husband has started playing the switch during the day and **I feel** has taken over my island. I was moving at my own pace, but he has started playing as me and hits every milestone for me. I was ACTUALLY playing this game, just in the mosey-about way I enjoy. I have alluded to him taking over my island and flat out asked him to stop playing, because he plays video games all the time, and this is the first video game that I have had interest in since Tekkan. He is still playing it daily. I know he wants us to have a game together, but I feel like my island doesn't even feel like what I wanted at all. \n\nAITA? Should I embrace his want to connect via videogames? But how do I overcome his need to complete every part of the game obsessively? ######","completion":" NTA He should not play as you. He should either play his own character, despite the gameplay being less good, or he should buy his own copy to play as his own main player. ######"}
{"prompt":"So when I moved in with my roommate it was agreed that everything would be split 50\/50, rent, utilities all that. So he decided in the middle of the lease that he wanted to move out and buy a house with his gf. While we had agreed to wait until the end of the lease, two days after that conversation he announced he put a deposit down and was going to move out. This meant breaking the lease and having to pay a the penalty. While i did get blindsided I agreed that i would pay half of the fee in an effort to save what is left of our friendship of 3 years. On top of the penalty we got charged damages that were all in his bedroom because of his cats. I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for damages in his room as I wouldn’t expect him to pay for damages in mine. Now he is acting like I broke the 50\/50 agreement and has an attitude because I won’t pay for his damages. Let me tell you the room is gonna have some major deep cleaning done before they can rent to apartment again. We are talking hundreds of dollars of work that needs to be done. Meanwhile I have been fronting money for the utilities, he still owes me them for May and is saying that he won’t pay for the June utilities because he moved out. AITA for not paying for damages in my exroomates bedroom? ######","completion":" NTA he seems to be trying to to get you to pay for as much as he can. He hasn't even paid his part of the bills, who's to say he won't try to skip out on the cleaning and repair bill, once you've paid your \"half\"? You already paid half of a penalty that he caused ######"}
{"prompt":"First time AITA poster so sorry if my formatting isn’t great! \n\nI (21F) went to the supermarket today to get food and I parked near a trolly collecting bay, where there was a worker collecting trollies. As I pulled out of my carpark the employee (probably late 20’s M) signalled me to stop. I just assumed I had left my purse on top of my car or something silly like that and lowered my window to find out. \n\nThe employee then said hello and started asked my name, if I was single, and my age and then tried to have a short chat with me, concluding “it was worth a try” when I told him I was not single. It appeared that he may have been not fully neurotypical and aware of the uncomfortable situation he was placing me in. I shut down the conversation quickly and politely but left the shops feeling quite uncomfortable, especially the fact it was an employee who did this while he was working. \n\nWIBTA if I reported him to his employer? I’d hate to get anyone fired or in serious trouble especially given the current economic climate and the fact he may not have known what he did was wrong, but I also worry that he may do it to someone else who was not as confident in getting themselves out of that situation. ######","completion":" NTA he needs to know that's not ok and if it's the first time then he won't get fired ######"}
{"prompt":"For starters, he uses my car because his is wrecked (not a car accident, he didn't do repairs when needed and eventually everything started failing). I only have my temps because of the lockdown, and I'm giving it another week or so until the lines are short enough for me to be willing to take the driving test. Since I cant drive as much as him, I've been letting him drive mine. Before his car ultimately died, I helped him clean it out. It was like a goddamn hoarder's house it was so disgusting. Moldy food in fast food bags, dozens if not a hundred half empty bottles of drinks, and god knows what embedded in the seat fabric. I had completely vacuumed and deep cleaned every inch of my car when I bought it (2004 grandpa-mobile so it was in need of a good clean, and I treat it like my child because I paid for it by myself as my first vehicle). Within a week of him driving it, there were crumbs on the floor and not a single cupholder was empty. Not only this, but he accidentally left a bag of buns under the seat. I told him to take it out when I found it, he left for work, and I realized it was still there weeks later because he forgot about it again. Moldy af. I had to clean everything again myself, and snapped saying that the next time I find so much as a straw wrapper left in the car he wont be allowed to drive it anymore. He is saving up for a down payment on a nice car so I've been patient with him, but he's starting to make messes again.\n\nWIBTA if I finally stop letting him drive it? He would have to take uber everywhere which would slow down his buildup of savings. ######","completion":" NTA he needs to have the decency to respect your things especially since you're doing him a favor. I wouldn't let him drive my car anymore personally because that's gross and once you've let something MOLD in my car idc who you are youre not getting in my car. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (32f) brother (25m) was made my ward (well limited ward) when our parents died when I was 26. He has High functioning autism, I believe Level 1 is the severity of it, on the three level scale. He’s very intelligent, went to college, you know he’s mentally all there. \n\nI was given control over many aspects of his legal self. Due to his impulsiveness, gullibility, social difficulties, and such. \n\nRecently my brother has gotten mad over his lack of control of his life. So he asked me to relinquish guardianship entirely. The problem is he’s still just as bad with money, he’s still really bad with scheduling and stuff like that, and while he’s made strides in social interactions he still clearly has deficits. I mean he thought he was going to get married to a boy he met just a week earlier at one point.\n\nSo I told him no for his own good, now he’s been really cold to me since than. I got him  some makeup and a bunny rabbit as a gift and he’s been distracted enough by it that I think he’s forgotten for now. \nBut that won’t last for ever, AITA if I deny his request for relinquishment of my guardianship?\n\nEdit: he lives in an apartment near me, across from me to be exact ######","completion":" NTA he needed a guardian for a reason. Can you guys start slowly working towards him having more responsibility? An allowance that he can manage on his own, letting him run his own schedule for a week to see how it goes, etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s... \n1) Not experienced\n2) Not licensed \n3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain\n4) Is not a responsible driver\nHe left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA he is going to get himself or someone else hurt. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.\nToday I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.\nFast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######","completion":" NTA He is being completely unreasonable. Apparently because he didn't want to have to call your mother. You had a medical issue and handled it like an adult. Your child needs supervision, so you made two plans in case one fell through. He bailed on the kid and didn't make any plans for dealing with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we both agreed we were child free. I told him up front if I got pregnant I would have an abortion. He said that was fine.\n\nWell a month ago I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and that I was going to get an abortion. He freaked out and said that I was killing his kid and couldn’t.\n\nWe fought about it for a week and then I just went anyway. He moved out and said he was going to divorce me. I haven’t heard from him since.\n\nI’m pretty fucking pissed off, since we agreed we were child free and now he’s going back on it and freaking out. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA he either changed his mind or thought you would change your mind ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my brother are 16 and 15, we are from a super religious family that like to push all that ‘you WILL visit your dad’ nonsense on us despite us not wanting to. \n\nMy bro and I are really close, he is autistic but has got a LOT better as he has got older (he was non verbal as a kid and had a lot of triggers, he’s verbal now and can control his triggers a lot better) anyway he still has meltdowns but i know how to look after him and deal with him. \n\nMy dad on the other hand always blew off my brother and made out that my brother could control his mental state etc and he would call my bro ‘Ralph wiggum’ as a really mean way of calling him dumb.\n\nAnyway all my bro eats is tomato soup and grilled cheese when his routine is disrupted, I guess it’s comfort for him. I hate cooking and usually my mom makes it for my bro if we have to travel out of state or whatever but obviously he’s my brother and I’m gonna look after him. \n\nMy dad refuses to help with my brothers needs because he doesn’t believe in autism. \n\nSo I made him his grilled cheese when my stepsister (also 15) TOLD me to make one, no please or thank you, for herself. I said ask nicely and I will, so she just screeched at the top of her lungs for my dad and her mom.\n\nThey both came and started berating me saying I’m the oldest and I need to care for BOTH my siblings now and that I’m acting like a brat. \n\nThen as a weird sort of power thing they stood over me and said ‘make her the grilled cheese’. I got pissed at being told what to do so I said no. \n\nTo make things worse my brother called her a word in front of my dad and his wife and that got us both grounded (they took our phones away) however I have my iPad in my bag so I’m on Reddit with that. \n\nAm I the asshole cuz I didn’t make one for her? ######","completion":" NTA he doesn't believe in autism? That's a new one. Wtf? No, nta, your family sounds terrible and they're raising a brat daughter who will grow up to also be terrible. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok backstory, this is all pre-covid. My neighbors property borders mine on 2 sides. \n\nWe did not have a fence between our yards, and both of us have dogs. I thought it might be advantageous to put one in, so my dogs could run free, without worrying about them getting out. I approached them about splitting the cost of the parts that adjoin our property, since we both would benefit, and he initially agreed. \n\nI sought out a few quotes, and found what I thought was a good contractor, at a good price, and gave him a copy the quotes. Several days go by, and he says he no longer wants to share the cost of the fence. Just to be clear, I don't think it's a financial issue.\n\nOk, fine. I proceed as planned, this time I'm paying for the full cost, since this would make my dogs safe and happy. \n\nThe day of install comes, and our contractor has to reschedule. Bummer, but not the end of the world. That same day, I see a (different) contractor in my neighbors yard putting in...a gate and a few feet of fence going back to side his house. \n\nI see this for what it is, and decide to teach wise-ass a lesson. Install day comes around again, and this time, instead of installing it on the property line, I asked the contractor to set this section back 1 foot. \n\nThis now means his gate is worthless since his dog can easily walk around it, unless he connects to the fence I paid for on my property, which he can't legally do, and I refuse to allow. \n\nThe wives are pissed at the whole thing, since previously we were all friendly, but it seems to have caused a bit of friction, mostly between the husband and I. \n\nI humbly await your verdict. ######","completion":" NTA He could have offered to pay you in installments but he completely backed out then tried to take advantage of YOUR fence. If he didn't want a fence, that's fine. But installing a gate as an extension off of your fence after declining to help pay for it, that's an A-hole move. The fact that he is making this into a big deal instead of just paying to fill that foot-long gap is ridiculous. \n\nAnd adverse possession? Oh no, you'll lose 12 inches off your property edge! Small price to pay I say. ######"}
{"prompt":"This story starts around February 2020,\nSo class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.”\n\nLater that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.”\n\nI was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff.\n\nLater that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened.\n\nI got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did.\n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA he could have nicely said he wasn't interested. Instead he body shamed you and insulted you. You deserve better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically my cat is trained to use the toilet bowl, I have two bathrooms in my flat and the cat uses the guest one, it’s always up and clean because the cat uses it and knows how to flush it (sometimes he forgets it), I clean it every day and my cat been doing it for the past 6 years. \n\nMy boyfriend just moved in with me and he hates it, even if we have our own bathroom and barely uses the guest ones, he says it is disgusting and awful, last night we had a huge fight because the cat didn’t flush it’s poo and now my ex is saying that he is going to live if I don’t litter box train my cat, but I see no point doing it since the toilet is much more hygienic. \n\nSo AITA for not wanting to change my cats habits to make my boyfriend happy? ######","completion":" NTA he clearly has never dealt with a litterbox if he thinks that a litterbox is more hygienic and\/or less trouble than occasionally flushing cat poo when the cat forgets. I’m super impressed that you trained your cat to do this!!! I WISH my cats would use the toilet instead of a litterbox .... ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband had an affair a year and a half ago that only lasted a few months (according to him 😬😬), but which included a trip out of town that he obviously hid from me. Within a day or two of finding out about the affair, he cane to me and said he had made a huge mistake and asked if I would try to work things out with him. I agreed, and we have been in counseling trying to recover from it since then. \n\nMy husband is a big outdoorsman, and prior to the affair, he took at least two (sometimes more) trips a year to fish, hunt, etc. since the affair, he has been on a few trips, but he has always taken one of our kids or left our home with a friend, etc. This weekend was his first trip post affair where he left our house to go meet his friends at a fishing lodge. \n\nBefore he left, I asked that he not go radio silent on me like he used to do on his trips (before the affair when our marriage was not up to par). I requested two text messages, one in the morning and one at night just to say hey etc. not asking for FaceTime, not even asking for a phone call. \n\nHe has refused to comply and is totally disregarding me. Calling me crazy and a psycho for asking for this. AITA for asking him to check in given our history and that I am trying to rebuild my trust in him? ######","completion":" NTA He broke the trust. These are not complicated requests. He needs to be more than happy to attempt to rebuild and affirm your trust, based on his past. While fishing can truly be exhausting (being out on a boat for 10 hours a day can send you to bed as soon as it’s dark- Believe me I’ve seen my dad come home from fishing tournaments ready to fall out), he should WANT to FaceTime you when he’s back to the place he’s sleeping to say good night and to put your mind at ease. It’s purely rebuilding a foundation. It’s also just a nice thing to be on a trip and let her know you’re thinking about her. This shouldn’t be hard or complicated. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is my first post on this sub, however, I'm kinda nervous about posting this, since I do know that some friends have reddit and may rat me out if they ever find this...\n\nAnyway, today is the beginning of July, meaning that my birthday falls this month. I had everything planned out for my birthday party: dates, events (which can still work out since restrictions are at ease) and most importantly, guests.\n\nI wanted to invite a specific group of people as they are my close friends and they have been there for me for years. But do you ever have that friend that wants to go to every outing you go to and ask why they aren't invited? Those people irk me...\n\nOne of my friends found out that my birthday was this month and asked if we were going out for drinks. I told him that he wasn't invited since everything was all planned out. Other than him not being close to me, he wants me to get super drunk one night to the point where I can't walk and my liver gets fucked and perhaps want me to embarrass myself in public.\n\nI was pretty straightforward with telling him that he wasn't one of my guests. However, other friends just ganged up against me saying that I'm dogging them. \n\nI just felt that it is my party and I can invite who I'd like to. I just want it to be a chill party with a small group of friends and I could perhaps have a drink or two and not something super rowdy with a large group where I just can't walk the next day.\n\nKind of feel like the asshole, but I feel that Reddit should debate this based on my situation...\n\nTLDR: Planned a party, friend finds out about birthday, told him that he wasn't invited, other friends accused me of \"dogging the boys\" ######","completion":" NTA he asked, you responded honestly. I don't see why people think they can gang up on you for having your birthday party the way you want, with the guests you want ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”\n\nHaving heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)\n\nAs we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.\n\nShe told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.\n\nThey knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA he abused your fiance, he doesn't deserve to see you two get married. Besides, it's your wedding; why are you letting others have input in your guest list? ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick things to remember \n •pregnant girlfriend  \n•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.  \n•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible\n\n  I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ######","completion":" NTA grandparent or not, not her baby and not her choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister was visiting my house yesterday with her 3 1\/2 year old kid. When it came to dinnertime, the kid didn't want to eat. Not unusual, but after like 10 minutes of fighting the kid asked for some water and my sister refused to give it to her until she took \"3 big bites\" of food. They kept fighting for like 40 minutes and it was starting to freak me out honestly cuz like... I was thirsty af, so the kid probably was too, and I wasn't gonna get water right in front of her. What if she genuinely couldn't eat cuz she was thirsty? It's not like the kid was asking for juice or milk, just water. Idk, I feel like that should never be withheld. But I also am not and never plan to be a parent, so I don't know. \n\n*Referred to as \"the kid\" cuz I think stories with fake names get confusing*\n\nSo WIBTA if I told the kid she can have water any time she asks in my house? Or should I let my sister parent her way? ######","completion":" NTA give the kid water. Refusing water is definitely a form of abuse. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free\n\nI got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house. \n\nShe defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them. \n\nI lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######","completion":" NTA give someone an inch they'll want a mile ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend is really set on moving into this apartment, but the building doesn’t allow dogs and I have no close relatives to take care of my dog, who’s name is Gumby. I (24M) just recently graduated from University of Colorado and it was a huge step for me considering the rest of my family is living in Connecticut. My grandma living here was what really set it apart from other schools but when she passed away there was no other place to keep my dog but in my dorm. I also met the perfect girl here. She’s pretty, nice, funny, has a great personality, and other than this instance our relationship has been smooth. But now that we have both graduated we are planning on moving in together. She has her heart set on this 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment that is fully renovated for $800\/month, which we could definitely pay for. The dealbreaker is, they don’t allow dogs like Gumby and this guy has helped me through some TOUGH times, and letting go of him could be one of the hardest things to do. We have gotten in multiple arguments thus far and she is so set on this place she won’t even look at other places in the same building that have an extra bedroom for a lower price. It’s started to really stress me out, and I just need the popular opinion. ######","completion":" NTA Girlfriends come and go but a dog loves forever. Having to give up your dog may foster resentment in you if you didn’t want to ######"}
{"prompt":"I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.\n\nThe actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.\n\nShe always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.\n\nSince an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a \"replacement ring\" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first \"fiancee\" shopping.\n\nI was thinking to say something along the lines of \"Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve\".\n\nI was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her.  I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ######","completion":" NTA get a silicone ring to propose with. That way she can wear it when an expensive ring doesn’t make sense.\n\nI picked out my own ring. Honestly when we started shopping i was shocked at what I decided on. I tried on many styles and if my BF had picked what i had thought I wanted I would have hated it.  Online\/window shopping is very different than seeing them on your hand. ######"}
{"prompt":"The timeline on this one is kind of extended, sorry\n\nOctober 2015 - Sister announces her engagement and sets the date for February 2017\n\nJanuary 2016 - my wife and I announce we're expecting a baby after 4 years of trying. We waited until after the first appointments so we could tell mother the due date - Sept 21. Now, our 6yo had been a month and a half early, and the doctor warned us it could very well be the case again, so we knew we probably wouldn't make it to the 21st. Sister immediately announces she's moved the wedding up to Sept 3rd, and the chaos ensues. My wife and I knew from the start if the wedding was so close to the due date, we probably wouldn't be able to make it. Neither Mother nor Sister handle this news well, and we argue for several months\n\nJuly - mother agrees to take my daughter to the wedding and keep her over night so she can still be the flower girl.\n\nAugust - Mother forgets this arrangement and says she and Dad want to party the night before so they didn't want to be responsible for a child. She told me I was expected to either stay the night, or drive out, drop her off the day of, and either drive back (4 hours round trip) or stay for the wedding. I told her my sister would unfortunately have no flower girl, as my wife is in prodromal labor and cannot make it to the bathroom without several contractions.\n\nThe week of the wedding, the entire family keeps blowing up my phone. Sister decided to make it an extended camping trip for the family and wedding party. My parents took 5 days off for the wedding, and spent that time trying a combination of yelling and guilt tripping to get me to go.\n\nSept 3 - the wedding proceeds and my wife and I are in the hospital (AGAIN) for a stress test because she has been having contractions for 3 hours. We hear nothing from the family.\n\nSept 7 - my wife is admitted into the hospital. The baby is born at 4:23am the next morning.\n\nAITA for not attending the wedding without my wife? ######","completion":" NTA fuck no a thousand times.\n\nIts your wife and child , you were 100% right to choose them over your sisters wedding. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is my first time in this position and I have no idea if I’ve made a huge mistake and put my foot in my mouth right now. \n\nMy (23f) partner (21m) and I are looking at moving in together. My flat lease is coming up and we’re looking at somewhere a little bigger (I’m in a 2 bed but the 2nd bedroom is fairly small). \n\nHe’s only rented student places and is from a very different area so I guess he was naive about prices. He has a job lined up for September but won’t be making a huge amount. It’s a great position but pay will be low in his career. I however have a very well paid position. I’m two years older and further in my career and happen to work in a well paying field. \n\nWhen looking at rents he can’t really afford much. So I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50\/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage (eg my current place only costs 30% of my wages. So add say 30% of his and use that as a rent). This would enable us to afford some of the places we’ve looked at and I’d still be paying the same as I am here. \n\nHe got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. He doesn’t seem to think how I said it was the problem which was my though (checked I hadn’t come across sarky\/annoyed) but he genuinely has a problem with my suggestion at a base level. \n\nSo reddit, was I an asshole to suggest I pay more because I earn more? Thanks in advance. ######","completion":" NTA from my view, it makes complete sense to do it that way given you’d pay what you’re already paying. \n\nI’d be more concerned about his attitude that it’s belittling. Does that mean he has a problem with you earning more? If that wage difference continues will it fundamentally be a problem for him? Does he equate his personal value to his monetary contributions? \n\nI’m in a pretty similar situation as you insofar as I am older (29f) than my partner (25m) and earn abouuttt $25kpa more than him, and he’s actually said that if my career is better off than his when we have kids he will be the stay at home parent if I’m earning more. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I'm in high school and a few of my friends are Non-binary or trans and I try to be supportive, I have a good relationship with my parents and so I tell them a lot about my friends including referring to my friend (Let's call him Fred) who asked me to use they\/them pronouns by those pronouns, it confused my parents so I asked Fred if there was anything else they'd prefer to be called instead of they\/them and he blew up at me saying I outed them to my parents when my parents don't even know and that I was being disrespectful, I've never had any friends like Fred before the last year and it was never explained to me how to refer to them in front of my parents. A while back Fred sent me a post with no context saying that I was a horrible person and Fred says I'm horrible when he changes his name and pronouns and I don't use them because he didn't tell me that was what changed and I feel underappreciated. I want to continue to be friends with Fred, not only because I love hanging out with that friend group but also because I enjoy hanging out with Fred, so many of my other friends are telling me that Fred is toxic and I don't know what to do. Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA Fred doesn’t sound like a good friend, I would stop putting effort into it ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been with my BF for a little over a year. He's known by those around him to be \"the class clown\" and into edgy humor. \n\nThe other day I was talking about how fall classes for my son (11 years old) are projected to go since Covid-19 hit. We were talking about school districts and potential liabilty issues when I said, \"I'll send my son to school in a mask and if he gets sick, I can't sue the district. It's not like the teachers are trying to inject them with...\"\n\nI had a massive brainfart and meant to say \"Covid\", but my boyfriend then interrupted and said, \"their semen?\"\n\nI know he's said sexually-charged jokes before and he's into \"that's what she said\" type of jokes, but this honestly creeped and grossed me out to the point where I told him I felt uncomfortable and cut our evening short.\n\nI went straight home and he tried to call and apologize profusely, but I told him I wanted to take a few days to think and that I still felt gross and really creeped out by that comment. For what it's worth, I divulged to him my own trauma of a high school teacher I trusted who tried to groom me for sex, so I may be more sensitive on any jokes relating to that issue.\n\nHe's since sent me texts saying \"I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I don't know why you'd want to be with me. Sorry for wasting your love and time.\" He also dropped off my stuff and my key while I was at home sleeping. \n\nIt feels like manipulation to me, but I'm having doubts now. Am I overly sensitive or too easily offended? Am I the asshole for feeling creeped out by this joke about my son? ######","completion":" NTA for your reaction. It was super creepy that his mind went straight to semen joke when discussing your kid. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, i knocked up some girl and knowing i fucked up i signed away paternity rights and agreed to pay child support. I later found out after 12 years of paying 50k in child support that she fucked around 6 other dudes at that time and just chose me to be the father (not telling me about the other dudes) because i was the most financially stable. What a fucking cunt\n\nSo I’m suing her for child support. She is calling me a asshole for doing this because she has no family support and only makes 35k a year, and that since i make 110k a year i shouldn't be so mean. I told her that's her only fucking fault and i don't care, i want my fucking money back and i don't care if that financially destroys her, i had my wages garnished to pay for some child that wasn't even mine. I know for a fact that child support money wasn't even going towards that kid, it was going for her to go out partying with friends and her stupid MLMs. \n\nA lot of people are saying she couldn't just made a mistake but i don't care, she had an obligation to find out who the real father was, and yes i am a dumbass for not getting a DNA test in the beginning, but i got one now and i have proof the child isn't mine. ######","completion":" NTA for wanting your money back, but you probably wont get it, and in fact you're probably on the hook until the child is 18 or out of school. I'd talk to a lawyer ASAP. In the US people can still being obligated to pay child support for a kid proven to not be theirs because they accepted the responsibility in the past. Legally speaking, you've made yourself the father, even if its proven you're not the biological parent now. ######"}
{"prompt":"(20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ######","completion":" NTA for wanting to make this fair.  A certain “base-load” of utilities are necessary, even if *no one* is home.  Like the fridge still needs to stay plugged in, the gardener is still using the water, the water heater still needs to be powered (vs being drained or worrying about legionnaires), etc.\n\nI would suggest looking back over your last several months\/year’s worth of bills and figuring out what the low-point (lowest cost month) is for each.  Or alternatively, what the cost was last year at this same time (probably a bit more fair for HVAC).  Everyone splits that amount, the same way they were splitting the utilities before (whatever split was previously agreed on).  Then you, individually, cover the remainder. ######"}
{"prompt":"My best friend (let's call her Apple) is black, and I am white. In the area we live, we both are considered a minority of the population so theres not many people around for her to learn from to do her hair. Apple is in a smaller minority than I am, so I want to try and help her out a bit by helping her learn to do her hair because her mother doesn't know how to do it either. \n\nNow, I have another black friend (we'll call her Blue), I asked her about it because she always shows up with cute hairstyles and knows her way around hair. I asked her if she could teach me to do hair like that and Blue called me racially insensitive.\n\nAITA for wanting to learn how to do Apple's hair? ######","completion":" NTA for wanting to help your friend who has expressed she doesn't have support in this area. Weird that Blue won't help Apple... it is not insensitive to know that there is a difference between white and black hair which would require different styling\/care techniques. I would hit up youtube, there are tons of hairstyling videos available. Also maybe just double check with Apple that she would like help finding hair videos. Is Apple's family not savvy on hairstyling either to help her? ######"}
{"prompt":"Background info\nI’m 16. My dad married my stepmom like two years ago. \n\nMy step mom and I aren’t friendly but we don’t fight. We are just so-so. I’m not crazy about her. She likes to knit and make clothes and for me and my brother. They are always butt ugly. \n\nLast school year my dad didn’t even get my brother and I back to school clothes, he just tried to make us wear her weird 1976 pilgrim clothes. I hate them. I had to beg my mom to get me a couple of outfits that I could actually wear. \n\nMy dad gave my brother and I the task of going through our clothes. We tend to give things that we can’t wear anymore to our cousins. \n\nI was trying on clothes and posting silly Instagram stories. A lot of them were in her ugly clothes, and my friends and I had fun roasting them. Then I brought them all down to the pile for going to my cousins. \n\nMy step mom didn’t say anything about it at first, but when my dad got home for work they both confronted me about the Instagram stories the clothes. \n\nI said that the clothes were ugly af and I didn’t want to wear them. They both started yelling at me and telling me to take down the ig stories. My dad wants me to apologize and take back the clothes. I don’t want them, so I refused. \n\nThey started calling me ungrateful, and just generally losing it. My dad has taken the rest of my clothes from my room and is demanding that I take back the ugly clothes that my stepmom made, and apologize for making fun of her on IG. \n\nI don’t think I should be forced to wear the clothes, nor do I think my stepmom has any business sticking her nose in my social media. My brother says that I should have just put the clothes in a donation box or something to avoid trouble, and that I messed up here. He thinks I was an asshole for being so direct. AITA for trying to get rid of these clothes in her face? ######","completion":" NTA for wanting to get rid of the clothes, but so YTA for how you handled getting rid of them and bullying your stepmom. She made those by hand with you in mind. obviously it was a gesture you responded rudely to. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were planning on a quiet trip, just the two of us and I told the oldest to expect us gone for the weekend. The oldest told the siblings and now the siblings and their friends want to go. SO said fine but no drama. That's impossible especially for the middle child who causes arguments every time they go. SO said they would be sent home with the other parent if the kids acted out, but has an awful track record for following through. I havent had a vacation solo with my SO in two years. I feel like I've been cheated into yet another family trip. This would be fine if that's what was expected. AITA for telling my SO I don't want them to go and was looking forward to our trip being just us? My SO just sighed and said \"I know.\" WIBTA if I drove the kids home myself if they act out? (About 3 hours round trip) ######","completion":" NTA for wanting some alone time, but need more info probably. Have you taken the kids on family trips recently? Are you married? Are they your kids? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened about a month ago, but I’m still wondering if I was in the wrong here. Throwaway.\n\nSo I (22M) was bullied a lot growing up, all the way through high school, both verbally and physically. Some of the most common things I was called were things like “fag”, “faggot”, “homo”, “queer”, and I was often times beaten up in conjunction with that. When I finally got into my teen years and started to question myself, thought I might be bi,  a lot of the trauma caused internalized homophobia and made it really hard on me but in the last year or so I’ve really come to terms and started to accept who I am.\n\nSo I was using Tinder the other night, just swiping through a lot of people without paying attention. One of the people I matched with messaged me. Seeing his name and photo again I did a double take and then realized it was one the kids who used to bully me and use a lot of those same slurs, and was surprised to know he was actually gay. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yeah and I told him about what he did in the past and asked if he remembers that as well. He said it really doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago and that I should just forget about it. I told him to go fuck himself, and that I hope he never fully accepts himself like I eventually did.\n\nI told my brother about it, and he said it was a long time ago and that while he understands my anger people do change. I get that, but did he really though? He didn’t apologize, and just pretends like it never happened. AITA for what I said? ######","completion":" NTA for the simple fact that he blew it off when you brought it up.\nHad he been a little more contrite, maybe things would be different.\n\nPerhaps he was embarrassed and tried to downplay it, but this was a chance to put some big boy pants on and be confronted with his actions. He either failed or hasn’t changed. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: After moving in with my then gf, now wife, I started renting out my old house to college kids (it abuts campus). I live ~2 hours away, but have good friends and family nearby the house.\n\nLast fall, I got a call from one of my tenants that they turned on the heat and nothing happened. For most things, I'll take a weekend and drive over to fix an issue and see people. Heat though needs to be solved ASAP. I found a local HVAC company that could come out the next day (for a roll truck fee) and see what was up. I told them it was a rental, and they said they were used to that, and that no work would be done without my authorization.\n\nThe next day, I get a text from my renter that the guy came out, that the thermostat was wired wrong (previous renter had put on a Nest, and I didn't test heat when he moved out, just AC. My mistake), and that he fixed it. Cool. Sounds like 5minutes of work, so I guess it was included in the diagnostic.\n\nThen I get a credit card charge for $270. I call to see what's up, and the office thought the tech had called me and I authorized the work. Nope. I never would have paid $270 for fixing the wiring on a thermostat. I could have had a friend pop over for a 6-pack of beer.\n\nThe office puts me on with the tech, and he gives me two choices, pay the fee, or he's going back and unwiring the thermostat. I tell him, no. I didn't authorize the repair, the charge is ridiculous, and he's not allowed back in my house. (I can't trust him not to break things worse). After some back and forth, we come to an agreement. He'll refund the charge, but they'll never work for me again. Cool with me, as I don't want to work with extortionists.\n\nI call the office to close the loop and let them know what their tech did, and find out he's the owner of the company. Eesh.\n\nSo, AITA for not paying the fee or letting him back in to undo what he did? ######","completion":" NTA for the reasons you’ve already said. He should have called for the go ahead. His offer to go back and un-do the work was extra stupid. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ill try to make this brief. \n\nMy grandma is in her late 60s, was diagnosed with MS 40 years ago. She has difficulty speaking and holding conversations and recently has been showing signs of deterioration. \n\nShe had 18 cats when she burned her house down and 13 passed. She had to give up 3 living ones  aland was allowed to keep 2 when she moved into government living facilities due to emotional support. This was 15 years ago. \n\nRecently one of her cats passed away and the other has two paws in the grave. Im worried she will be close to follow since she so attached. \n\nAnyhow the neighbor didnt spay the stray they let roam and its having kittens. After running the idea through my mom i decided to get one of the kittens, potty train it and get its shots, introduce it to my cats, and then give it to her. \n\nShe was super excited and asked what they looked like. At the time they were days old so all i could tell her was 2 grey and 1 black\/white. \n\nEvery other day for weeks she has called and changed her mind from grey, to black...to grey...to black. And it takes her a good 10 minutes to spit out the reasons she wants X cat. \n\nAnyways they are 8 weeks ajd the neigbor brought them over. He said i have first dibs, but a young couple wanted the 1 grey and his son really liked the black\/white one. \n\nNow this doesnt matter but the available grey one is my favorite. It looks like a little panther. I told him to let whoever wanted specifics to get their choices and i would give my grandma the 3rd one regardless. \n\nI honestly couldn't remember the last color she landed on. \n\nWell my gf got home and i told her and she said \"im pretty sure last time she called she wanted the black one\"\n\nAITA for leaving it as is and giving her the darker grey one or whichever isnt chosen by the other two interested parties? ######","completion":" NTA for the colour question at all.\n\nBUT.\n\nYou would be a huge asshole if you gave this very elderly, ill woman a kitten who will live 10-15 years without a plan for where it will live when she passes (and the willingness to take the kitten if it is too much for her).  If you are willing to take the cat in regardless of it's behavioral or health situation at that time then that's great.\n\nI'm sorry to be so forward with you - I used to work at an animal shelter and elderly and\/or ill people were a major proportion of surrenders.  Very commonly they would have behavioral issues due to lack of training\/undersocialization\/separation anxiety from never being alone or medical issues if the elderly person was not financially well off.  Elderly people loving their pets is a great feel good moment.  Not so much when the person passes, the family is grieving and the animals are collateral damage.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEDIT:  I'm going to amend my post - YTA if you give her the cat at all.  Grandma cannot shower or stand, nurses aides will be expected to care for the kitten entirely meaning it wont' get enough socialization or activity.  Kittens have sharp teeth and claws and often use them, she won't be able to train this or redirect the energy properly.  Cat bites are nasty and a common source for infection - she could easily be hurt here.\n\nAlso, there is another VERY elderly cat (17) in the home who is very sick.  The kitten will absolutely harass that poor thing, the stress will significantly hasten his death.  If you say they won't be together then I wonder how you will do that with only the nurses aides caring for the cats.\n\nFinally, there is a not cat policy.  Your grandma was probably allowed two cats because she already owned so many.  That does not mean she should get another or would even be allowed to do so.\n\nYTA - this is a very bad idea. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have a somewhat good job, my sister doesn’t because of corona virus and she tends to old people so she could catch it. She is calling my dad for money, my dad says no because he told her not to get pregnant and that’s what she did. Then she calls me at work, (boss is chill and let’s me take the call) here’s what I remember from the call\n\nM: Hello?\nS: Hey can I barrow some money?\nM: How much?\nS: 300? I know you can spare some.\nM: That’s my entire paycheck. I can’t do it sorry\nS: So your gonna let your nephew starve and not get clean pampers?\nM: That’s not my job to take care of your kid dude, And I know he has clean clothes because you showed me all the shit you got for your baby shower.\nS: Ughh I hate you guys it hard being a first time mother!\nM: It’s not my Fuckin problem dude. You opened your damn legs for a loser, you chose a baby over college, You could’ve gotten a abortion or been on birth control when you wanted to have sex. But you didn’t! Don’t blame your fuckin problems on me! I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING KID\n\nI hung up and cooled off, My mom blew up my phone, saying how I should apologize and don’t talk that way to your sister and more bullshit.\n\nMy dad picked me up and my sister lied straight to his face, but he knows I didn’t and just said to me “ Show a little bit of restraint next time” \n\nSo AITA ######","completion":" NTA for telling her that you won't give her money, but the delivery is a bit severe to be honest and you could have endrd the conversation firmly without being harsh (e.g. \"i dont think you are being reasonable, i am not responsible for your decisions and i am not going to be part of a conversation where you abuse me for that. It was your choice to be a parent.\" And if she continues *click*). ######"}
{"prompt":"So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.\n\nIt’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.\n\nAnyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######","completion":" NTA for sure.\n\nActually, nobody is the AH here for that reason. As long as he will respect your decision, he just asked and you just answered. Your money your choices. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 14 and I have a 16 year old sister. My dad divorced my mom because he did not love her and I could tell there relationship was very stale. Anyway my dad found some one else and started dating when I was 10. I loved my dad and have a great relationship with him. Me and my family live in California so you can see that living expenses are really expensive.\n\nAnyway me and my dad moved into his new wife's house and I have been staying there and like my new step mom a lot. My mom and sister are very jealous as my sister disowned my dad for being leaving his wife. Right now I am staying at my moms apartment. My dad recently bought me my first phone which is an iphone xr which is an amazing device.\n\nMy sister is stuck with a 300 dollar phone so she is jealous. Anyway I was using the restroom and then I heard a loud noise like glass shattering. I went and discovered that my sister has destroyed my phone and ruined the screen and the back as the phone has glass on the back. My sister took it out of the case. My sister then yelled fuck that bitch referring to my dad.\n\nI was stunned I called my mom and told her what happened my mom could care less and told me to go ask dad to fix it cause he is rich. I told her that she should ground my sister. My mom refused telling me it's not sisters fault she does not get good things and that sister has every right to destroy property coming from dad. She said be glad you even got a phone to begin with and told me that I have no right to ask for my sister to be grounded. I might be the ass for asking for something that I should not be able to ask for as I am a kid not an adult. So I might not make proper decisions.  ######","completion":" NTA for sure. Wasn't your sister's phone to destroy. Keep your head up man. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so starting out, I have never been very maternal except with my dog. Little kids gross me out. I dont want to hold your baby. I just dont like kids. I think people who choose to be mothers are beautiful and strong but it's just not for me. My husband feels the same way and we have talked about if we wanted kids we would want to adopt and give a child a loving home when we are both emotionally\/mentally mature enough for a child. \n\nNext, I have a terrible fear of getting pregnant. It haunts me. If I were to get pregnant it would put all my dreams and ambitions on hold. I dont want to put my body through that. I'm not ready for it. \n\nMy husband and I have been thinking of me getting a bilateral salpingectomy. I am the one who came to this decision and my husband supports it. I dont want him to get a vasectomy because they can come undone and I can still get pregnant. But with this procedure I can no longer get pregnant \"naturally\" but I still have my ovaries, so I can be insiminated if we change our minds (doubt it).\n\nWe have been talking about adopting for 2 years if we wanted kids and my dad and his mom seem on board with that idea. But my mom just says \"no no no\" and \"you need to start having kids asap before you find out you cant have any\" and \"when are you giving me a grandchild??\" And then my husband's stepdad (whom I've known for 2 years) is telling me to have kids so he can have grandkids and makes all these creepy baby jokes to me. I've told them both I dont want kids and my mom has flipped out on me, calling me selfish and that I'm going to waste my life by not having kids. His stepdad just undermines my opinion and says \"yes you do, you just dont know it\".\n\nA part of my feels bad because it's like I'm \"cheating\" them out of being grandparents but if I had a child for that reason it would be wrong and not fair to either me or the child. Would I be an a**hole to get this procedure and not have kids? Am I being \"selfish\"? ######","completion":" NTA for sure. The only problem is that it may be hard to find a doctor to do the procedure on a young person with no children from what I hear. But you have every right to do exactly what you want and if they don’t like it, they’re just gonna have to get over it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (40 M) have a female friend (32) that I used to work with. We became very good friends and have ventured into possible FWB waters a few times. I didn't find out until afterwards, she was initially hired for her job by a dude based on him being a \"sugar daddy.\" Funny thing is he claims to be this big shot former hockey player - when I got curious, I searched him. Mr. Big time played one year of college hockey in the late 70s. \n\nWhen she worked for him, he refused to pay her an hourly wage, then said \"well I'm paying for her apartment.\" He would call her into his office randomly during the day just to paw at her and grab her. He's an alcoholic and would say \"yeah, let's go to lunch,\" then she'd text me at like 6:00 telling me they were supposed to go get lunch, and ended up at the bar all afternoon. Since he's the older rich guy, he tries to tell her who she's allowed to talk to. \n\nOh, and he's married. His wife is the VP of his company. She's also an alcoholic; he'll get her good and shitfaced early in the day so he can spend time with my friend. Then when his wife wakes up, he'll drop my friend off and go play hubby. \n\nShe text me maybe 30 minutes ago and tells me \"hey good news, he might be hiring me back.\" I responded and pointed out what an asshole he is, how he treated her, and how he didn't even pay her. Am I the asshole for looking out for a friend? Or should I just say \"ok\" and let her make that mistake again? ######","completion":" NTA for saying that to her. She's made the decision once to let him buy her company and sounds like she's ok to do it again. She's just as much as fault as the dude. ######"}
{"prompt":"So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.\n\nAnyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.\n\nSo I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.\n\nLearning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?\n\nSo AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######","completion":" Nta for reporting them but i highly doubt your complaint will cause others to lose their medical help, all your report is likely to do is make a investigation happen and then they might get a small fine. ######"}
{"prompt":"sorry for any run on sentences and grammatical errors.  english isn't my first language and I'm doing this via mobile phone. \n\nso my son is 16 months old (1year and 4 months) and he had immunodeficiency.  he can't get any vaccines due to this an we are constantly in and out of the hospital due to how easily he gets very very sick. \n\nI am on a family group and my aunt posted a picture of \"how to decline a vaccine legally\" and a link to how Bill Gates is going to microchip everyone with the vaccine. \n\nI tried to relay as much information I have gathered about how this isn't true and I begged them to please get the vaccine once it arrives.  \n\nnote: I did say if they didn't get the vaccine due to medical reasons it would be a different situation \n\nthey (my mother, grandmother and both aunts) then proceeded to tell me they won't get the vaccine as it is \"the mark of the devil\". \n\nthat's when I told them that if they don't get the vaccine they won't be able to visit my son as he has a sever immunodeficiency. \n\nthat's when my family blew up and called me names and told me I was a bad mother for even considering it. \n\nso AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for protecting your child against a threat that actually exists. One of the reasons it's important to get vaccinated for infectious diseases is to provide protection to those who cannot be. Your family is a great example of the real dangers of stupidity. ######"}
{"prompt":"So we were all at dinner once and my brother asked why we didn’t say grace, because his girlfriends family said grace. \n\nMy mom said that we could say grace if he wanted to, and so we did. Now she wants us to do it every night before dinner, but I just refuse to. She always seems annoyed when I refuse to join the family.\n\nJust a little background - I’m not religious, I could care less if there was a god or not, I just don’t have any reason to believe there is. My parents took us to church like twice in our entire lives, and they’re somehow surprised I’m not religious.\n\nSorry if this is rushed, if you need more info feel free to ask :) ######","completion":" NTA for not wanting to pray. Just don't be disrespectful to those who do and are. You can sit there quietly, with your own thoughts, while they do their thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was born in a developing country. My parents immigrated when I was young. We were dirt poor when we moved. And I used to have nightmares about my childhood there, because we were constantly living in fear of violence. My parents made it big in our adopted country, moved back to Asia, and bought a nice home in a gated community. They now consider themselves patriots, and are constantly singing praises of the country they fled from.\n\nI on the other hand, worked very hard to ensure I never have to move back. I became financially independent from my parents, and remigrated to Europe.\n\nI have been pretty outspoken about my experiences, and regularly criticize my birth country for basically robbing me of my childhood. My parents don’t see it that way. They want me to move back because they feel I “belong” there. And we’ve had many arguments over this. They worry about my social media postings, because it may hurt their businesses, or I may end up in jail next time I visit.\n\nTruth is, I still don’t feel safe whenever I visit them. The police there is still very corrupt. Healthcare standard is very low. And hate crime is still rampant. So one time when my parents tried to silence me, saying “don’t you worry you may be banned from out country if we keep posting stuff like this?”\n\nAnd I just blurted out, “it’s not my country anymore; and TBH I’d rather you come to visit me in the future because I REALLY don’t want to go there.”\n\nMy mother started crying and hung up on me. I got a msg from my dad demanding that I apologize, and visit them the next chance I get. \n\nI should also mention that they constantly worry that if I don’t go back, their estate will be taken by the government. But I honestly don’t care about that.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for not wanting to go there, trauma is trauma, but if it's the country I think you mean you may want to be careful about what you post anyway. They could decide to investigate or arrest your parents instead of you. Or just stop them from leaving so none of you would be able to visit each other. I have heard of that sort of thing happening, mostly to uni students. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.\nMy mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.\nNow onto the story.\n\nMy sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning. \nThe problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.\nI’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.\nMy niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.\nMy mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche\/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA for not wanting to adopt but Dude. Duuude. Spend some time thinking about how resentful you are of a child when your real issue is with your sister. That nine year old needs a loving home and a parental figure to guide her. Not saying that should be you but cut the kid some slack. Don’t look down on her behavior when it doesn’t sound like she was taught any better. \n\nHopefully one of the other sisters can step up. A newborn in the foster system will likely be fine and adopted. A nine year old is going to have a much harder time and there’s no guarantee they’ll stay together. Probably have a greater chance of being separated. You’re definitely an AH for your behavior and shitty stances on all the rest of this. “I told my nine year old niece to go fuck herself because she’s fat and complained I didn’t feed her enough.” FFS. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m upset because my boyfriend and I just finally moved into our first house. I believe it’s just as much mine as it is his, but he’s treating it as if it’s only his. *He never asked me in either situation, just offered it up and then told me afterwards.* He has offered up a place to stay to his sister and her boyfriend, and now his 2 friends. None of which would be able to pay rent\/pay for their own food, etc. That’s not even the biggest issue though, it’s that it’s our brand new house. It’s only been months! I just want my own place for once. I’ve been through the roommate situation so many times and it never worked out in my favour! He’s let people couch hop so many times, and “weeks” turned into years with them! AITA for not wanting this again?\n\n*Forgot to add, 2 of these people are addicts and I’ve been sober for years. I respect them but I don’t want that around us. ######","completion":" NTA for not wanting people freeloading in your home constantly but did you guys talk about this before buying a house together? I am assuming both of your names are on the house? If you knew he was the kind to let people stay with him for extended periods why would you not have discussed this\/set this boundary before hand? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I made a post on my private Facebook account how I booked a trip to Ireland, now my Facebook is really locked down so only a few people I approve actually get to see posts. So my sister goes and asks my parents if I told them about this trip to Ireland. I currently rent from them. I had recently broken up with my partner and moved back to their rental property. My sister lived with my parents til she was about 35, while I moved out at 17 for college. She lived rent free while her and her husband saved for a house. Mean while she is very well traveled person going to England, Spain, Italy, Australia either through school trips she chaperons or with her husband.\n\nI saved money to go visit some friends in Ireland, and I've only been out of the country twice. Since my parents got wind of this, mainly my mother, now my parents want to start charging me rent while I tried to get myself established again. I of course get really pissed because that is BS how she and her husband lived their free for years and she lived there her entire live up until they bought a house together, free of charge. And I try to take a vacation after I split with my EX and I get the shaft from my parents and they start demanding I pay rent. So am I the asshole for cutting her out of my life until she acknowledges what she did was wrong and it wasn't her place to tell anyone my business? Oh and I forgot to mention she tried to play some mental gymnastics and say it was my fault and if I didn't put it on FB this would never happen. ######","completion":" NTA for not talking to her about it.  But I can't believe that you think anything posted on facebook is private.  Even if you've got it completely locked down, all it takes is one person to take a screenshot or talk about it.  Bottom line is if you don't want anyone to know, don't post on facebook. ######"}
{"prompt":"I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.\n\nI've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.\n\nWhen she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.\n\nShe's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######","completion":" NTA for not hiring her because there's no actual position to hire her for. That said... you don't seem to have a very high opinion of her in multiple ways; if you really think she only wants to be hired so she could be paid for doing nothing and would just waste your money, then you are also wasting time by even staying with someone who would do that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son(19) has been in a relationship for a few months now. He recently introduced her(19) to us and it turns he has been fucking his second cousin. \n\nHe had never met her before and they both had no idea they were second cousins. Now, obviously they should break up because this is just i*cest-lite but they want to continue their relationship. \n\nMy husband and I disagree and so does her parents but they want to continue their relationship because they think they are \"distant\" enough. They said we should just accept them. \n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA for not approving.   \n\nHowever the quickest way to get him to break up is to ignore it and let it run its course.  \nIf you force the issue they're more likely to dig in their heels because they're \"in love.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok here it goes. My fiance and I picked a wedding date that we always dreamed of and luckily the venue was available on that day. However, once we told the family my sister in law threw a mega tantrum that our wedding day was too close to theirs (about a month and we are getting married first) and that we should change it waaaay later after them. She said that we are stealing their day and that she should get married first because she was the one to get engaged first and pick the date first. However, it was never a race for me and I only wanted the date because it was special for us. In the end we still stuck to the original date we wanted and now my sister in law won’t talk to me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for choosing your wedding date. We each get our own day and that’s it, a day. The world doesn’t revolve around weddings. She’s being a brat. \n\nI’d only say YTA if you have a lot of family coming from out of town and it would put a burden on them to travel to both thus causing them to make a decision on which wedding to miss. Your SIL doesn’t seem concerned about that - only that the world should revolve around her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######","completion":" NTA for bringing it up with her, but if you knew that she'd been exposed and had a test, then you really shouldn't have been spending time around her without having it confirmed. Good on her husband for letting you know, because now you're going to have to isolate and I hope your husband didn't go to see his family just yet. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Edit: this is a throwaway and I’m on mobile!)\n\nI think the waiter is the butthole in this situation, but you be the judge. This happened last year but I’m still salty.\n\nI took my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday weekend last year and had a whole itinerary planned to make him feel special and celebrated. For his birthday dinner (on his actual birthday) I booked a dinner at the nicest restaurant on the island at the fanciest hotel on the island overlooking the beach. It rhymes with the floor reasons. \n\nThe restaurant was aware it was his birthday and upon being seated the waiter asked “happy birthday! Would you like a glass of celebratory champagne?”\nWe were like aw yes we absolutely would \nHe was like “wonderful is [some brand I wasn’t familiar with] ok?” We said sure sounds fine (spoiler: it was not fine)\n\nWaiter returns with a glass for each of us and we enjoy them, order some cocktails and a truly impressive spread of appetizers and entrees, and settle in to a lovely birthday dinner. My boyfriend has a great time, I’m sitting smug at being such a great girlfriend. Then the bill arrives. \n\nThe celebratory glasses of champagne were $70 each! I knew this was going to be an expensive dinner and was happy to splurge, but assumed the “celebratory” meant complimentary, especially since there was no complimentary dessert or anything offered for his literal birthday. Because I didn’t want to sour the mood I paid it but left only a 15% tip (instead of my usual 20%+). \n\nI am still pretty upset and want to leave a review for the place as everything else was wonderful and this really put a damper on the evening. AITA for being upset I had to pay ~$200 for two glasses of “celebratory” champagne (inc tax+tip)? WIBTA if I left a review of this experience? \n\nSome friends think it’s not that unusual I’m am being petty and cheap but I disagree. ######","completion":" NTA for being upset. In future I go by the rule, if its handed to me upon arrival then I'm assuming it's free, if I am asked if I would like something I generally ask what the charge is. ######"}
{"prompt":"Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken\/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills\/food etc. We live in the UK.\n\nBecause of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again. \n\nRecently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.\n\nSeveral days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.\n\nThanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ######","completion":" NTA for being mad that he’s a general freeloader. You’re saying he barely pays for anything even in normal times. Why would him getting the money from freelance work or the government make a difference? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello! Basically my bf (23m) and I (21f) are having a disagreement about the word c\\*nt. He’s been using it more and more lately, to which I have asked him to stop using it so much. \n\nTonight, we were watching a TV show where he called the character a c\\*nt. I asked him to stop using the word so much, and he said “ill take it into consideration but also I enjoy the word. So unless you have a good reason” he’ll keep saying it. I simply responded that it makes me uncomfortable. His response to that was “then don’t be uncomfortable smh.”\n\nHis other arguments for using the word c\\*nt are 1) that America has freedom of speech, 2) that he shouldn’t have to censor himself, and 3) that me feeling uncomfortable shouldn’t be a reason to stop using the word. While the word was not aimed toward me, that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable as I feel that it's a word rooted in sexism. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for asking. But you do have to wonder why you are still with someone that doesn't respect your feeling and basically told you \"just don't be uncomfortable smh\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !\n\nFast forward to choosing vacation in a department I was recently promoted to. We are a small team so vacation time can be tricky, ideally there would be no overlap of people taking time off. My manager is of the mindset that as adults we can figure conflicts out ourselves.\n\nA coworker and I were requesting the same time off. 4 days of overlap. Me for the music festival, and her for family camping. She has done this camping trip with her kids for the past 6 years so I can appreciate that they all look forward to it. Due to corona virus the festival  was postponed to the same week the following year. So now we know over a year in advance that we will both be requesting the same week again.\n\nSo reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to book the week of the festival even though my coworker wants it ? I can’t exactly be flexible, these tickets were a really lovely gift. ######","completion":" NTA for asking to get priority for that weekend in 2021. That gives the co-worker over 1 full year to slightly alter the schedule for her family camping or come up with an alternative solution that would allow you both to be off for the same 4 days.\n\nIt is possible that at some point in the intervening months the festival will be completely cancelled (a lot of entertainment events are going to go bankrupt, and additional waves of shut downs are likely going to happen between now and then). But up until that happens, it is not assholish to ask that your 2021 vacation request be accepted over hers.  I agree with you that for something that has a fixed date, you have less ability to be flexible than she apparently does. And even if she is coordinating with lots of other people, she has more than 1 year to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for insisting my girlfriend pays the bill for the plumber I had to call after she flushed a tampon down the toilet?\n\nHi all. I could really use your insight into this situation.\n\nI (21M) had my girlfriend (21F) over last week. We were watching a movie when nature called to her. She excused herself, and I whipped out my phone to browse reddit. I noticed she was in the bathroom for awhile, but I didn't think much of it. Some poops just take awhile.\n\nShe came out of the bathroom blushing, and said that she clogged the toilet. No problem, I would just plunge it, and we could get back to the movie. Wrong. Her movement had clogged the toilet completely.\n\nSo I called a plumber the next day, and when he snaked the toilet, out came a used tampon. Needless to say, I was livid. I'm a dude, and even I know that you don't flush sanitary products.\n\nWhen I brought it up to my girlfriend that night, she blamed it on me for not having a garbage can in the bathroom. Now, I'm a dude, so I don't use sanitary products. When I have garbage, like an old toothbrush, I just bring it out to the kitchen garbage. A bathroom garbage just isn't necessary for a man.\n\nI pointed out that there was multiple solutions to this problem. She could have just told me she needed a garbage, and I could've brought her one. If she didn't want me to know, she could have wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in my kitchen garbage. She didn't have an answer for me there.\n\nWe're not talking anymore. So reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for asking her to pay for the plumber. But going forward, go ahead and get that bathroom garbage. Even if you never see Girlfriend again, go ahead and spend that five bucks on a bathroom garbage. Now you know that women need a garbage in the bathroom. I feel like you should have known this already. Regardless, now you definitely know. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.\nIt was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.\nMy brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.\nI got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.\n1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me. \n2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.\n3. She had money for a cab\n4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.\n5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.\n6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked. \n7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.\nShe ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA for all the reasons you listed plus the fact that she’s an adult who can make simple decisions like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's been my dream to be a baker for as I can remember. I recently took a chance and applied for an apprenticeship and ended up getting the job. I didn't talk to my so about it because I didn't think I needed to. We have been together for 5 years but we don't live together. As a result of my new hours we haven't been able to spend as much time together and he is starting to pick fights about it. So I want to know am I the asshole for taking the job without talking to him even though I knew my hours would mean we would spend less time together?\n\nEdit: I'm sorry if this is hard to read I'm upset right now. ######","completion":" NTA follow your dream. Seeing you had told him to oubhad applied amd had and interview that was the opportunity to consider lifestyle change if successful. Out of curiosity, why are you guys still living separately? If you lived together uou see each other more. ######"}
{"prompt":"My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA find a new friend group, they’re assholes ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my fiancée and I were watching a light horror movie. It was The Babysitter. I’m a horror fanatic, and she suggested this movie. It’s not the best movie, but I have been trying to get her into horror.\n \nFirst of all, I’ve never seen the movie before. When we were watching, I just made a comment on how the black guy is probably going to die first. She said that I was being really racist and that it wasn’t funny. It turns out that I was right. He did infact die first. I just find it to be a pretty funny trope in horror movies. Not that I agree with it, but I was making fun of it existing.\n \nShe still won’t accept my reasoning. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA film student here. That's not even a joke, that's literally just a well established trope of the horror and slasher genre. As in we talk about that in my literal university lectures taught by professors. It's the same as the final girl trope (always having a 'final' girl left to fight the monster etc) or the trope that anyone who has sex in a horror movie has to die. Obviously she didn't understand this, but you weren't being racist. The film trope might be racist in its routes, but you commenting on it is not and its well established ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time. \n \nFor the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that. \n \nHe came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house. \n \nI told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times. \n\nAITA for lying?\n\nEDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######","completion":" NTA feels like he just wants to use you to get laid, sorry. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19f) have a nonbinary friend (16m) who I’ve known for years and years, and we’ll call him Corbin. He has become like a little brother to me.\n\nCorbin likes people to rank how much they like something (a movie, food, etc) on a scale of 1-10, or to use an emoji on how they are feeling. Everyone I’ve seen talk to him does this.. except me. He says this helps him comprehend how much they liked or disliked it, or how they’re emotionally feeling. Well he asked me how much I liked a movie I was watching, 1-10, and I said “I liked it”. He then got very upset and told me how I never help him comprehend anything because I don’t do what he asks me. I told him this is because I don’t think in ranked numbers or emoji’s so therefore it’s hard for me to know what to say.\n\nCorbin then says he’s not going to ask me any more questions ever and now is very upset and won’t talk to me.\n\nSo. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA feelings are complex and can’t always be summarized by a number or an emoji. I also don’t think in terms of rating scales, and I hate when someone asks me to do so. Also, emojis can easily be interpreted in different ways, which defeats the purpose of using them to accurately explain these emotions. That’s part of the reason why so many people have issues communicating via text or email. Tone is hard to convey over written word, and is near impossible to do with a number or icon. I don’t want to call him an AH, but I think pushing someone and not accepting that they communicate differently is both hypocritical of him and rude. ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for not wanting to live with my “dad”\n\nSorry for bad formatting\nFor some background: my mom left my dad when she was pregnant with my brother and i was 1 years old for many reasons. My dad has never been a caring father and i barely know him. He has been abusi ve in the past but not as bad as other kids but still physical ab use. He has a wife and a stepson (13) and two infants. Im 15 and im always blamed when they do anything bad or anything bad happens to my stepbro and biological brother (14)which sucks since they bully me and if i say anything to him about them im a “whiny snitch”.\n\nI have lived with my mom and younger brother all my life but somehow my dad got custody of me for a school year. I was forced to move to a new town and get new friends which is very hard for me and i ended up just being lonely.  And finally this school year ended and i just moved back. My dad never respects my decisions or anything like that. He always trusts fake news and took away my electronic so i wouldnt be a school shooter. When i broke my leg he took away my crutches so i had to jump on one leg for a whole weekend. The only reason i had ever went to his house in the past is because legally they have 50\/50 custody. \n\nMy grandma asked me if i have enjoyed spending more time with my dad but i was honest and told her no and he isnt even spending time with me i just live there. I woke up to angry text messages from my dad and aunt. My friends tell me that he is my father and that family is family aita? ######","completion":" NTA family treats you well and he clearly doesn't. So it's understandable that you don't want to live with him regardless of whether he's your biological father or not ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger\/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??). \n\nI however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable. \n\nThis is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)\n\nAnyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.” \n\nSo, am I being a snob\/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######","completion":" NTA expecting people to wear clothes is fairly normal ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.\n\nWIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?\n\nEDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######","completion":" NTA everyone should be wiping their own asses by five. What does he do when he's a t school??? ######"}
{"prompt":"AITAH I told  my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd\n\nOkay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant &amp; we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery.  I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing &amp; UFC fights ETC. music too...  \nbut he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)&amp; he said ‘you might want this’  \nI called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy &amp; a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted &amp; he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt &amp; I said some mean things ... AITAH? ######","completion":" NTA even under normal circumstances that would make someone’s self body reflection plummet into a bad place, it makes you think somethings wrong or that you don’t look good and it’s quite honestly rude under all circumstances unless the person asks for suggestions for workouts. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (17) has been sneaking out to meet a boy for the past few days. She snuck out to go to a park near our house  so i was okay with it. I only had to open the door for her when she went out and when she came back but lately she has been staying far too late even after telling me she won’t.\nYesterday, she came in my room and told me she will go to a town near us (about a 20 minute ride) with one of her friends motorcycles, i was not okay with this and told her no but she didn’t listen. I let her out and was really worried about her because of obvious reasons, i texted her multiple times to tell me when she’s coming, she said she’ll be home around 2am. The time comes around and she’s nowhere to be found, i text her again and she says she’ll come back at 4am. I got pissed at her and around 4 i just opened the door and went to take a bath, she came home at 5.\nWhen she came back i told her that i’m mad at her and that i won’t help her sneak out again. She apologized through text.. AITA?\n\n\nalso, i’m ok with her going to the park because basically nothing can happen to her in our really small town and i’m not worried about the boy she’s going with because i know him quite well ######","completion":" Nta even if it's a small town anything can happen I used to think that I was invincible in the small quite town I lived in until a man almost kidnapped me walking home at 2am from McDonald's ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a \"micro influencer\" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. \"Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind.\" That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######","completion":" NTA even if it was well intentioned, this is a nasty thing to do. Particularly as you mentioned she has not tried to help you in any way. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years and have gotten pretty good. I figured I would save up some money and treat myself to a nice one after using a $150 craigslist buy for awhile. So i bought myself a $1300 epiphone jumbo size acoustic\/electric. It has an electric tuner and stuff and had 2 amp ports but is still acoustic. My friend has been wanting to learn for awhile and hes just been using the one I had to teach him and practice and stuff. When he found out I spent a large amount of money on a really nice guitar he was really angry, saying I should have spent the money on two mid range guitars for the both of us and was selfish for thinking of me and not him. AITA Here? ######","completion":" NTA even a little. Tell your friend not to be an entitled dickhead. ######"}
{"prompt":"On mobile, sorry for formatting. \n\nI(21f) has been looking for housing for school I'm starting in the fall but due to all corona regulations it's been mostly chatting with people on a facebook page. I found a property that fit what I needed and scheduled an in person visit to see the property. Since I don't have a car my mother(52f) and stepdad(58m) have offered to drive me.\nA couple days before going my mom approaches me telling me that my siblings are coming (15m &amp; 10f) which was expected but also how she wanted to find a hotel and spend some time there as a little \"family vacation\". I told her it's a bad idea because of the pandemic situation plus all 4 years of my undergrad she has turned my going to school into a \"family vacation\" that usually becomes a stressful event where most of the stress is placed on me. After telling her it's a bad idea she said being stuck home \"fucking sucks\" and stomped off to her room. \nI don't want her in a bad mood because of this plus they're doing me a favor but I adamantly think it's a bad idea. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA especially if you have a lot of cases of corona in your area and heavy restrictions. where I live none of the pools at hotels or the park district are open, parks are closed, beaches closed, etc. A vacation here wouldn’t be much fun. ######"}
{"prompt":"Edit: he also says he feels better and has more energy. I forgot to add this part.\n\nEdit2: I'm his primary caretaker as well. I didn't think it important to mention earlier but he has dementia and does revert back to child like behavior at times.\n\nMy dad is 77 and has a whole slew of health problems. A good chunk of them relating to his poor diet. He primarily eats fast food and rarely eats vegetables. Every meal has to have meat in order for him to consider it a \"real meal\". He's allowed me to do grocery shopping for him and I've been buying him veggie nuggets, burgers, pork, etc. (Ex: morning star buffalo chik'n patties). He can't taste the difference and enjoys what I make him. I also blend a ton of veggies into pasta sauce and he can't tell he's eating healthier food. It's not entirely vegetarian though. When he wants to order out, I get him what he wants. I only give him veggie food when I'm cooking.\n\nHis recent dr appointments and blood tests have shown improvement in his health. My brother tells me I shouldn't do that and just let him eat what he wants, even if it's making him sick.\n\nAITA for slipping my dad healthier alternatives and getting more veggies in his system? ######","completion":" NTA especially because you're not feeding him a constant vegetarian diet + you don't stop him from having meat when you order in. I'm of the opinion anyway that if you're cooking a meal for someone then you make the rules- provided you don't violate their food requirements by feeding them things they're allergic to etc. If you're cooking and want to add veg to his meals then you're well within your right to, especially if he hasn't raised any complaints. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 18, living with my mom through the summer until I move away for college across the country. I offered to pay for dinner if my mom wanted to go out to eat now that my state has lifted most restrictions. I suggested we go out to eat at a local vietnamese place (because they have amazing pho and the owners are a super kind older couple and I know their business has been struggling lately). Immediately my mom bursts out with \"Why should we go there when they made the virus?\" and snickered. I told my mom to take me back home and that I wasnt going to go to dinner with her. She threw a huge fit and went on a rant about how i need to learn to take a joke and that I was being a brat. ######","completion":" NTA esp because you were the one who was going to pay for dinner + there’s no way you would have had a fun time after a comment like that. Treating someone after they do something not cool is basically a reward. \n\nAnd as an Asian (South), I thank you for taking a stand for Asian people who have been unfairly targeted because of the virus, casual racism like what your mom said is still racism. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend \"bought\" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ######","completion":" NTA either way, but did your friend give you a reason for not paying yet? ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently I (23F) went with my brother (18M) so that he could get an STI test because he has a new partner (21M). He has been meaning to get tested for some time because he had a hookup awhile back that, afterward, told him he should get tested for syphilis. I said I'd go with him to make him feel more comfortable.\n\nSo on the way to the clinic, he told me that \"man I really hope I don't have it, I don't know if [partner] can afford penicillin right now\". So I ask, \"why would he need any? Have you done stuff with him?\" He said yes.\n\n\"Well did you tell him that it's a possibility?\" He said no, that he's extremely anxious about bringing it up. I went quiet because I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to make of this info.\n\nI can't fathom that he would mess around with someone he presumably really likes (his words, not mine), and not tell them that he possibly had an STI. Honestly I'm disgusted and revolted that he would even think about doing that and the more I think about it, the angrier I am. I feel that not disclosing your potential STI status is taking your partner's ability to make an informed decision to sleep with you.\n\nSo, WIBTA for telling him that was a really shitty thing to do? Or WIBTA if I didn't tell him? ######","completion":" NTA either way but you should still say something thats INCREDIBLY irresponsible on your brothers part. If hes to uncomfortable being honnest about these kinds of tbings with sexual partners he shouldn't be having sexual partners. ######"}
{"prompt":"Made a throwaway account because a lot of people who follow my main account know me personally, and this would wreck my life if it became public information. \n\nAlso, english is not my first language, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes. \n\nMy wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 11. I love her more than my life. She always wanted to have a kid between us, not through adoption or other medical procedures. While I was not against those ideas, I understood where she came from since she was adopted into a broken household and does not like the idea of it. Having a child who was biologically ours meant everything to her. \n\nLast week, I came to know that I had developed an extremely rare and painful disease, and one of its side effects is infertility. I was honestly devastated. As an indian man, I have been brought up in a positive household, and encouraged to make mountains collide for the happiness of the people close to me. The fact that I couldn't grant my wife something so personal to her devastated me. \n\nI genuinely tried my best to tell her, but each time, I would just break down crying, but I got closer to confessing each time. I had planned to tell her the news by today, and wrote a letter just in case, as a way to ensure that the news gets out even if I wimp out somehow. \n\nUnfortunately, she came to know about it through medical reports 2 days ago. \n\nObviously, I knew we were going to divorce....but I wanted to end on a less worse note. I have never seen a person as disgusted and disappointed in me, as I saw my wife. It made me very upset. She thought I would never confess to her, but I only wanted some time to let it out, I promise. \n\nSorry if things comes across as jumbled, I can't really think a lot and my eyes get blurry if I try to proofread. ######","completion":" NTA Due to the time scale. You held onto this news for a week, which is reasonable for you to come to terms with it yourself before sharing it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve had my horse for a few months now.\n\nHe’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.\n\nThis girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?\n\nThey’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA dude. Coming from that world myself I know how it is. Worse than dance moms. It’s your horse, you and your mom have the right to choose who rides the horse, especially in the early years of her\/his training. ######"}
{"prompt":"Woke up this morning to a group text my roommates are trying to kick me out. I want to know if others would think I’m an asshole in this situation or if my roommates are butthurt about what I did. \n\nI live in a house with three other guys (four of us in the house). Last night around 2 am this drunk girl shows up to our house, screaming, banging on windows, banging on doors and crying for one of my roommates, lets call him Aaron. Aaron just ghosted this girl recently.\n\nHe goes outside and tries to console her and calm her down, and they start screaming at each other. She’s throwing shit at the windows, and my other two roommates get up to see what is going on. I’m just laying in my bed and staying in my room. I don’t want to deal with it. \n\nThey all get the girl to calm down, then they come banging on my door. They want me to pay for a Uber to take her home so that she gets the hell out of there. It’s $25 to get her home. \n\nI’m told them hell no? \n\nThey started arguing with me, asking me to just help out so that the situation would be over. They assured me they would pay me back. I brought up the fact that I’m still waiting on $20 back from Aaron. I’m not too sure they could pay me back if they can’t come up with $25 between the three of them them to send her home. I said no, told them to get out of my room, and locked my door. \n\nThe screaming continued, and police ended up being called by my neighbors. They were given a noise citation, and arrested the girl. Everything quieted down until this morning. \n\nAll my roommates are pissed at me for not helping him get rid of this girl. I told them that it wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t know this girl. They want me to pay part of the noise citation or they want to “vote me out” of the house. \n\nI know I could have made my life a little easier by paying for the Uber, AITA for not doing it? ######","completion":" NTA Dude, move out. They can’t afford the place without you anyways. You don’t have to lend money to anyone ever if you don’t want to. Now if it was a girl you rejected sure buy the girl an Uber ride. ######"}
{"prompt":" My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, \"I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself.\" I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she \"needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her.\"\n\n The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me.\n\nApologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######","completion":" NTA dude your girlfriend is extremely immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"I own and run a webshop selling a food product. I started it in 2017. I also work a full-time job to sustain it - only this year do I stand to make an actual profit. I say that just so you know I'm not some greedy business owner who is rolling in dough.\n\nI have a generous refund policy for people who aren't satisfied, even if sometimes people abuse it. Yesterday a lady contacted me saying that she received and was charged for $22 worth of merchandise and that we must have stolen her info to purchase the product with her card, sending it to her.\n\nI looked at the details through our credit card processor. The order was placed using the same email address that the lady used to write from. FYI, for security reasons, the full credit card details aren't available to us - just the last 4.\n\nThe credit card processor captures the IP address for fraud analysis, and the IP address used to place the order was near the lady. The lady received an order confirmation plus 3 separate tracking updates, all to the same email she was contacting me from. The product was delivered about 10 days prior to her email claiming fraud.\n\nIt's very apparent that either 1) She is scamming and ordered it herself, or 2) someone in her household ordered it - someone with whom she is so close that she shares credit card and email info. Certainly I didn't steal her info, and it would be absurd if a stranger did that, as the product was sent to the lady using her own email. It's also possible that she has memory issues and has simply forgotten.\n\nI relayed the above info and asked her to please check with household members. I told her that if she confirms, I can send her a return label, whereas usually I would just refund without a hassle. I usually am quick to refund, but this just seems so flagrant.\n\nAITA for not just refunding her on the spot, and for suggesting that it's highly unlikely anyone but her (or someone in her household) deliberately purchased this? ######","completion":" NTA dude you run a busines not a charity ######"}
{"prompt":"So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy\n\nThey then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.\n\nSo please tell me Reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Dude get some new friends ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Don’t see how you looking out for your child is an issue. And nothing against your friends but as nurses, those are the people most at risk for coming into contact with the coronavirus. Do what you think is best for your family. ######"}
{"prompt":"35(f) here who met an amazing lady back in February. I'm mom to cool cat 9 year old daughter. Lady moved in relatively quickly, partially in due to that old lesbian stereotype, and also because 'Rona.\n\nFor the most part the transition went smoothly. Daughter's dad and I share 50\/50 custody and have great friendship. Every Friday my daughter and I like to have a \"girls night\" of just her and I doing stupid shit. \n\nWe've been including girlfriend in these Friday night romps and she's been mindful of letting us have our space. Until last night. Daughter wanted to watch movies and sleep on pull out couch with me. \n\nGirlfriend was pissed. She said she wanted to sleep next to her person, which is me. Well I'm that little person's person too. I told her I loved her and that one night of me sleeping on pull out watching movies with my kid shouldn't be an issue. I sleep in bed with GF every night of the week. \n\nToday I'm getting the silent treatment. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA doesn't sound like shes ready to date someone with a kid ######"}
{"prompt":"I really don't know whether I am just being petty here so I figured I'd ask. Also I am 16M, my Sister is 14F and my Stepbrother is 13M.\n\nSo my parents divorced 6 years ago and 3 years ago my mom remarried to my now stepfather and they merged our families I think that is what they call it. My Stepdad has 2 sons one who is now 13 and another who is 19.\n\nNow there are 4 rooms in our house, the Master is used by my parents the middle room was used by my older stepbrother, the smallest room is used by my sister and the final room is used by me and my stepbrother, my stepbrother moved out however to college so I got his room last year which I was happy about since I dislike my stepbrother and we don't get along so sharing a room was horrid, but I was always promised my own room once the oldest stepbrother went to college so I suffered through it.\n\nNow my mom is pregnant and last week they took the smallest room from my sister to make it a baby room, moved my sister in to my room and moved me back in with my stepbrother, as you might imagine I threw a fit but I was told to drop it as such I told my dad I want to move to his house where I have my own room, when my sister heard she immediatly asked my dad as well since we are very close and she doesn't want to live alone with our youngest stepbrother, he said yes and since we're both over 14 we can decide where to live ourselves.\n\nMy mom on the other hand is extremely hurt and upset and feels like we're abandoning her over something extremely petty. I got to be honest I feel pretty bad for her but I am 16 and I can't even have alone time with my girlfriend, friends or alone time in general because I have to share a room with my stepbrother Who I don't even like, so what did she think would happen, I feel like I always get screwed over tbh.\n\nSo am I being a petty asshole or am I right? ######","completion":" NTA Does your Dad have any step kids living there at his house? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so, it's background info o'clock.\nI'm 19, M, disabled. I'm autistic, have ADD, and a massive sensory processing disorder (SPD).\nBasically, SPD means i'm very sensitive to sensory stimulations and can overload very quickly. I also have prothesis to protect my ears from sound (it's basic but sufficient when I'm not too overloaded).\n\nI was on the bus earlier and had my prothesis on, so I couldn't hear people very well. I also have a small deficiency in my left ear. A middle-aged woman started talking to me on my left side. At first I just did not hear her. That offended her and she taped my shoulder, which made me jump because, I don't like unsolicited contact from strangers (again, autism). I look at her confused and she goes, mockingly:\n\n\"Are you deaf, or what?!\"\n\nThat rubbed me the wrong way because I don't like the idea of someone making fun of deaf people, plus I really didn't want to interact with her. So, I had an idea. I took my phone in Notes and typed:\n\n《Sorry, I can't hear you. My hearing aids battery are dead. Can you sign ?》\n\nShe looked at me, blushed heavily and just very loudly \"uh, no, it's nothing.\" and walked away. I was satisfied but then realised that it's kinda rude to impersonate a disability that I don't have, and maybe she wanted to communicate something important to me ? Sure, she walked away but I can't be sure it was nothing. I think I maybe should have avoided that interaction in another way. I don't know. What do you think, AITA ?\n\n(English is not my first language and I'm on mobile) ######","completion":" NTA didn’t hurt this woman and taught her a lesson about being rude about disabled people in public.\nEdit: not to say that you are disabled, but I’m sure she’d complain if she thought somebody didn’t look like they needed a hearing aid, wheelchair, etc. she seems insensitive to anything that could set a person back.\n\nEdit #2: hey guys- I’m getting a lot of corrections about the disabled part of my comment and I hear you!! I’m not trying to dismiss the way OP navigates life and I understand how my words actually may have done so.  Please keep any hostility out- I’m listening! ######"}
{"prompt":"We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem.  \n  \nBonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######","completion":" NTA definitely. Your religious practices are none of their business. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a new mother, my son is 3 weeks old. Forgive me for any mistakes, I didn’t sleep much last night.\n\nMy sister lives with us, we own our house, she doesn’t pay rent, she lives with us because she can’t afford to live on her own. I had hoped she’d move out before I gave birth but she didn’t.\n\nI normally feed our son in our bedroom or his room, but yesterday my husband and I were watching tv, and I was holding him and he got hungry, and I was tired and didn’t want to go upstairs just to feed him and be stuck alone. My sister was out buying groceries(that we are paying for) so I didn’t think it would be a problem.\n\nShe came home in the middle of me feeding him and freaked out saying it was gross to do that in the living room and to go somewhere private, and she didn’t want to see my tits(her words).\n\nI didn’t have the energy to explain why I didn’t go upstairs so I just went into the bathroom with him. But now she’s making comments whenever I’m holding him like “don’t take your tits out here”. I’m just tired, I don’t think it was really that big a deal, and werrr fucking paying for the house. Also, would I be an asshole if I told her to go fuck herself because I really want to. ######","completion":" NTA Definitely tell her to go fuck herself. How about next time she wants to eat something she goes and sits in the bathroom? \n\nIf she's got a problem with you feeding your child in your own home she can easily find somewhere else to live. ######"}
{"prompt":"im in a Facebook group where people from my city and nearby areas will post pictures of places they've been and outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing, skiing, airsoft or others. I posted in the group chat \"I'm going to this mountain on this day, anyone interested in coming\" and someone commented saying that she's interested. I texted her and I asked if she wanted to go and she said yeah i'll go hiking anywhere. I asked if she had any friends interested in coming and she said its late and we can talk later (it was like 11 pm). Next day I texted her \"hey so which day works best?\" and she blocked me. I thought that was pretty fucking rude, like if she didn't want to come or couldn't she could've just said so. Whatever i guess. \n\nWell about 2 weeks later I made a new post about a place I'm going hiking too, which requires some equipment which i've been able to get from my brother. I said we can share some. She unblocks me and tells me she's interested in coming and I responded back with \"sorry but I'm not interested in you coming\" \n\nShe asked me why and i told her its pretty obvious and i don't want any drama on this trip. She kept spamming me with texts saying i need to let her go and i told her \"its no and I'm not changing my mind\" and i muted her. She gets all bitchy in the post about it and people responded back with \"i think he's wise to not want to take you\" \n\nSome people said i was petty for this since i was taking basically everyone else who wanted to go except for her. I think what she did was rude, and reason enough to take her but more so i don't trust her, and i don't want her starting drama and shit so fuck her. She's really really immature especially for someone 5 years older than me (19 and 25) ######","completion":" NTA definitely she sounds weird ######"}
{"prompt":"I have three friends who are college-aged — two\ngirls and one man. They were walking in our local park the other day, and this 50 year old man starts telling them “Ive been looking for y’all; I met one of you last week and remembered your energy. I knew you guys were here way before I saw you”. He then proceeds to put his hand out and “read” them all. He apparently tells them some accurate characteristics about themselves. \n\nMy friends were so intrigued that they exchanged contact info with this man and went to his home the next day. Apparently, he has two college-aged sons and a wife that completely support and believe everything he says. He proceeds to tell them things like he has the cure to the coronavirus, he time-travels, can read anybody, and has met aliens. He mentioned a blue and red Kachina. This all sounds crazy to me, but my friend insists that it was extremely profound and a life changing spiritual experience. I am one of the most spiritual people she knows, and she desperately wants me to come back to meet him. \n\nTo me, I think it’s pretty crazy that they went to a home of an older random stranger that approached them at the park. I find it weird that a 50 year old man has time to text three kids\/young adults all day. He even said to them, “I feel like you’re going to bring many people”; it’s giving me cult vibes. My friend says I’m one of the most open-minded person she knows and thought I’d be excited and feels I’m being judge mental. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA definitely gives off some crazy cult or kidnapping vibes, I’d be super cautious for your friends and let them know all your thoughts on the subject. ######"}
{"prompt":"My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks. \n\nBut recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard. \n\nFor reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1\/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching. \n\nHe is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed. \n\nI want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######","completion":" NTA definitely and never underestimate the value of a good fence. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language, \n\nMy friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea. \n\nWell one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).\n\nWell, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.\n\nA month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she  sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up”  and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.\n\nWell one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.\n\nBefore you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.\n\nIf there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know \n\nSo reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA dear god run.  'It's time to grow up' is a ridiculous thing to say when it isn't your child.  It's time for her to grow up. ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I The Asshole for not giving my boyfriend’s sister in law a quilt?\n\nA little bit of context: I have anxiety, and when I get anxious, doing something where I can see results really helps me. So, my boyfriend got me a baby quilt to sew whenever I have one of my attacks. It’s a cross stitch, and takes a lot of time. Him and I decided for me to finish it and we would keep it for if we were to ever get married and have kids. \n\nMy boyfriend’s brother isn’t by blood. The brother, “J,” and his family adopted my boyfriend in middle school and my boyfriend’s family wasn’t good and taking care of him. Because of this, my boyfriend feels indebted to J’s family. \n\nJ recently married his wife, and she is pregnant. I was sewing my quilt once when they FaceTimed us, and my bf showed it to them, telling them how much work I put into it. \n\nSIL immediately jumped on it, saying how great of a baby shower present it would be for her. My boyfriend and I explained that we would be keeping it for our first child, but I stated I’d be more than happy to make her one when this one is done. \n\nShe flipped her lid and started screaming at my boyfriend that “he should be grateful J’s family took him from the dump” and that “he needs to get everything he can for them” because “he owes them.” \n\nMy boyfriend stood his ground in front of them but later cried to me saying that I should give them the quilt after I finish because they’ve done so much for him. He kept saying I could always make another one. \n\nI refused. I’ve been working on this quilt for MONTHS. Cross stitching is really hard and hurts my hands when I do it too much, but it really helps with my anxiety. I’m also really attached to the blankets because it’s the first thing I’ve ever sewn, and I really want it to have family value. Now everyone in my bf’s family is making me out to be a horrible, selfish person. \n\nAITA for not giving my boyfriend’s SIL the blanket? ######","completion":" NTA damn she's entitled. So is your bf's family. They chose to adopt him, and now they demand things in return. Nope. Stand your ground, and support your bf  as he stands his ground against them too. ######"}
{"prompt":"So background my parents split due to him having an affair when I was 8, now almost 28. We moved to east coast, dad stayed on west. My siblings and I never really had a relationship with him growing up, now we talk once every couple months. My brother had a baby last February and my dad and his wife came to visit in November. He stated he wanted to move here and build a relationship with us and his grandchildren. I was really excited as I don't have much family and I've always wanted our relationship mended. The plan was for him to move out alone and stay with my brother for 3 weeks while he got an apartment set up and then bring his family out. Well he called and stated he wants to bring his wife and step son with him from the get go and then he'd look for a job and place. My brother told him no he isn't okay with that because he has a kid and that'll be too stressful and too many people in his house. Well he told me last night that since I was so excited and wanted him here, my husband and I have to let them live with us. We're pregnant with our first and due in July. I said no way in hell was I moving 3 people in when I'm about to have a newborn. How is that fair? I was told I'm being unreasonable and my dad feels hurt that no one will take them in. If we weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have an issue with them temporarily staying.\n\nAita for not letting them live with me thus preventing them from moving here right now? ######","completion":" NTA dad needs to realize just because you’re excited about STARTING a relationship with him doesn’t mean he gets to start out by LIVING with you. He needs to accept that you’re an adult with a family of your own that comes first. Just because this way is more convenient for him it wasn’t the original plan. He needs to accept that and earn his right to be in your life. Making demands and guilty tripping you isn’t the best way to go about building a relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI am a 16 year old boy and I have a 17 year old half sister. My half sister thinks she is some kind of queen cause no one ever told her no. Anyway I am being bullied by my half sister for being asexual. She keeps saying shit like I bet you are asexual cause no one ever loves you. You are probably a sexual cause you are an incel. These are some of the more nicer comments. I had to deal with this for three years\n\nWhile I was watching my tv show my half sister came in and started bullying asking why are you asexual. I then snapped at her and told her I am asexual cause I don't want to sense any love from people like you your face MADE me asexual cause of how ugly your face was. My mom came down and scolded me and told me to apologize to my half sister for making her feel bad about her self but I refused and I told my mom no I dealt years with her shit if she can dish it out she can probably deal with it.\n\nI then told my half sister that I will only apologize after you admit that you bullied me for years. My mom knows this but refuses to acknowledges this. My half sister refused and told me she was always right and I was always right and I did not apologize. My half sister is crying in her room right now and swearing. ######","completion":" NTA Could you have handled this situation better? -Yes.\n\nDo I understand you 100%? - Also yes.\n\n(Do I think she kinda deserved to hear these nasty things? - Also yes)\n\nI mean you even offered to apologise under reasonable conditions. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.\n\nMy insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.\n\nI told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.\n\nAITA for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA contact the police that is theft and I believe if its 5k and up it counts a federal ceime. Maybe let your parents know you are going to the police station to report the theft of your 5k which is a federal crime ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.\n\nFast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name. \n\nHe said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ######","completion":" NTA Compromised by letting you keep your name? Ummmm wtf Is that? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened yesterday.\n\nMy (14F) mother (43F) was mentioning report card and tests yesterday due to you-know-what.   She eventually decided to go through all our old report cards. Now would be a good time to mention that I have a brother who is 9 and we suspect is mildly autistic.\n\nSo we go through them and eventually my brother joins in looking through them. So I find some of mine and I say something like “oh my god I got such good exam scores.” And I showed my mom and my brother that I got three 10s on some years and how I never noticed.\n\nMy brother then find his and his scores are more around 5\/6. And he gets upset and goes down to his room. My mom then pulls me aside and said “you shouldn’t try to be better than your brother and don’t me a show off.”\n\nI told that I can talk about my achievements all I want. I’ve previously also had to not mention my individual class scores when I got top of my class.\n\nShe got pretty upset and grounded me but I’m allowed keep my phone because of you-know-what. ######","completion":" NTA completely justified for being proud in yourself, hopefully you can keep the grades up :) just be mindful that not everyone likes being shown up. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.\n\nMy older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.\n\nWhile my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.\n\nWhen he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.\n\nMy mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote \" if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it\". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.\n\nMy relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######","completion":" NTA clearly your parents couldn’t keep to their word on what’s done for one will be done for the other. It’s normal to want to distance yourself especially after the way you’ve been treated and that won’t make you an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time. \n\nAbout two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet. \n\nThe issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice. \n\nHere is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments. \n\nHe also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me. \n\nThis is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house. \n\nWould I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it? \n\nTdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?\n\nEdit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######","completion":" NTA clearly this relationship wasn't going to go anywhere anyways and it would probably be a stressful environment growing up for the child. ######"}
{"prompt":"I got a cousin i do not like even tho i am the only family he's got.\nMy mother is attached to him and reasonably so, and she decided to give him my netflix account to use.\n\nEverytime during mid day i cannot use netflix because my brother uses it and cousin hogs it up mid day till night. I do not want to pay extra for four screens although i can perfectly afford that.\n\nLast time this happened i disconnected all accounts and it stopped till now,  i have voiced this to my father and he gave cousin some excuse as to why netflix stopped working but my mother be it as she knows i don't like him, still gave him the account info.\n\nWIBTA to cancel Netflix or in it's behalf, change passwords and only let me, my brother and my mother's TV have it without the credentials.\n\nI really, really, don't like him. ######","completion":" NTA Change your password. Simple fix and you won't have to cancel it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've lost my son 2 months ago, He was only 25,he was disabled, he had cerebral palsy since birth.\n\nMy husband and I loved him so much and gave him all the love and care he needed to make through the difficult times.\n\nSince his death I have been getting a lot of \"advice\" on how to move on in life and pretend like my son didn't even exist.\nJust like what they did when my husband passed away two years ago, my Brother in law (husband's brother) has always been a total asshole to me, one week before my husband died he told my husband to not worry about me cause I will marry again.\nHe told this while he was dying!\nMy husband was a great man, he was a donor, He cared for our son and always wanted for him to be happy.\n\nWhen my son died, right after we got back from the funeral, my BIL, and his wife stayed at my house for a whole week\n\nHe said \"why are you still so sad for your son? You should be happy for him, you should be happy for both of you, Him not having to deal with his disability anymore  and you being free, now you can go live your life without having to have to take care of a disabled person\"\n\"It wasn't like he was gonna make it to 50 right?\"\n\nI felt just awful, I got so angry with him, I told him he was an asshole and told him to get out of my house, he started running his mouth again and said \"I know you're just acting out cause you're grieving, but that does not excuse your shitty behavior towards me and my wife\"\n\nBefore he left, I told him to hand me the spare key to my house that he STOLE from my husband before he died, he lifted it up then instead of giving to me, he tossed it in the trashpin.\nHis wife was laughing on her way out, And I just stood there feeling awful, I cried my eyes out that day, and wished my son was there to comfert me.\n\nNow he's calling me to say that wants me to come over and help his wife decorate his son's birthday party. ######","completion":" NTA change the locks. Copying a key is stupidly easy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone, here´s my dilemma.\n\nI have a cat, he´s half a year old. I adopted him when he was around a month old. His original name was going to be \"Howl\", but I started calling him \"Bastard\" aound a month later after his adoption.\n\n I don´t hate my cat, he´s basically like a child to me. I call him that affectionetly, obiously. But my roomate (Who i´ll be calling Blue) dislikes my cat´s name. Whenever she hears me caling my cat for any reason (ie, \"Bastard, come here\" or whatever) she´ll tell me to use his original name because \"callling animals insults is a mean spirited thing to do\".\n\nThe thing is, he now only answers to \"Bastard\" and not \"Howl\". Blue has tried to teach him to answer to his original name, but he doesen´t care. \n\nAlso, I´m the one who feeds him, changes his l¡itter and buys his food. I´m his owner, so I feel like I should be allowed to choose his name.\n\nSo, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA Cats don't care what you call them. I call my cat (who is my best buddy) Big Black Bag of Fat. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey everyone, here´s my dilemma.\n\nI have a cat, he´s half a year old. I adopted him when he was around a month old. His original name was going to be \"Howl\", but I started calling him \"Bastard\" aound a month later after his adoption.\n\n I don´t hate my cat, he´s basically like a child to me. I call him that affectionetly, obiously. But my roomate (Who i´ll be calling Blue) dislikes my cat´s name. Whenever she hears me caling my cat for any reason (ie, \"Bastard, come here\" or whatever) she´ll tell me to use his original name because \"callling animals insults is a mean spirited thing to do\".\n\nThe thing is, he now only answers to \"Bastard\" and not \"Howl\". Blue has tried to teach him to answer to his original name, but he doesen´t care. \n\nAlso, I´m the one who feeds him, changes his l¡itter and buys his food. I´m his owner, so I feel like I should be allowed to choose his name.\n\nSo, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA cats are bastards. I have 3, they are little shits but I love them ######"}
{"prompt":"So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: \" Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues\" or \"Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc...\" Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention \"Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?\" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ######","completion":" NTA can't you just block her on social media? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this is a throwaway because my sister is in here. Writing from a phone so excuse the shitty format.\n\nSo I(f18) recieved the first gift from my boyfriend this month. We're in a long distance relationship so I was all excited and stuff. He bought me a silver necklace, chocolates, and a dozen pairs of lovely and funny socks.\nSo me and my sister were discussing the gift and I tell her that we can't share this one. Keep in mind that we always share stuff and gifts and she's free to eat form the chocolate my boyfriend bought whenever she likes. But this gift is from my boyfriend to me and it's so special to me. She then throws a tantrum and calls me and my boyfriend names. She tells me I wish you'd both die. This is all because I told her she won't be wearing MY socks. Maybe she's traumatized or surprised from my response. Plus, she didn't get to date before so maybe she doesn't understand why I said what I said. But this doesn't give her the right to do all of this.\n\n\n\n I tried speaking with her but she acts like I betrayed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes but she won't give me an answer. So reddit, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA can't believe she's acting like that at 18 ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16f) sister (22f) keeps taking my clothes and wearing them in front of my friends. This wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t BRAND NEW outfits. That makes it so that when I go to wear the clothes everyone thinks I’m wearing HER clothes. I ended up going to my parents for help because no matter how I react she will not stop raiding my wardrobe. She is constantly telling me all the things she does for me (rides to school, dance class etc.) but I do chores to scrounge together the money to buy decent clothes I like, she has a full time job, doesn’t pay rent and can go buy the clothes SHE wants. I don’t see why she should be entitled to my wardrobe especially when I do all my own shopping. Am I the asshole for involving our parents\/ not letting her wear my clothes? ######","completion":" NTA can you buy a lock and put it on your room\/closet door? ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements.  Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped.  In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse.  If I call the cops, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA call the cops they could kill someone. ######"}
{"prompt":"Not mine, but my friends. \"I have 2 adult kids. Both have graduated from college, but are currently living with me due to the situation and such. Neither have jobs since they both got laid off at the beginning of all of this. I'm happy to have them both back at the house, it was getting lonely since my husband passed not to long ago. I had saved up roughly 50k for each for college. My one kid, who we'll call J, and my other kid, who we'll call S, are twins. J got a scholarship that covered most of her school expenses, but I paid for rent, food, etc. I was super proud of her. S also went to college, though she didn't get a scholarship, which I was fine with. I was also super proud of her. I didn't want either of them to start out life with a bunch of student loans, so I was happy to pay for both of them since I could afford to do so. S also worked part-time to help pay. \n\nNow that they are both out of jobs and living with me, J has started asking about the rest of her \"rightly deserved money\". She wants it, I don't know if its to save or spend, but she claims that its not her fault she got a scholarship and that I didn't have to pay as much for her as her sister. I was planning on either doing renovations, possibly moving (my house is kinda big now that its just me), or going on a vacation in a few months (depending how things go) with the money. Obviously, after they both move out and get new jobs. I told her this and she got super mad. She kept going on and on about how it was her money. S stepped in and said that she should be grateful for all the help I've given both of them. Now J is mad at me and S and J are fighting. Was I wrong for not giving her the money? Should I give her the money? \n\nI'll also add that I've not asked either to pay rent, food, etc while they have been living with me. So, whatever money they had at the begging before their job loss, they should still have most of. ######","completion":" NTA by any means.\n\nA \"college fund\" is not a gift to the child him\/herself. It's precautionary savings the parents set aside in the event it's needed to fund their child's tuition. If it's not needed, the child doesn't get it. The child is not entitled to it at all. They didn't earn it, they didn't make the sacrifice to save it. The parents did. It's a fund that parents setup as a favor should it be needed.\n\nDon't give her the money. It's yours, not hers. Heck, even better, simply explain that you're gonna roll over that money into a \"Wedding Fund\". And if she never gets married, then again the money is still yours.  And if she does get married, write the checks to the actual vendors as the bills roll in, and not directly to her. Because it's obvious that she's just trying to grab the money. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a few months ago and my brain keeps sending it back to me. I was traveling and I stopped at a rest stop that’s well known for having lots of bathroom stalls and they’re always very clean. There’s probably about 30 stalls in the women’s restroom, and usually not even a line because there’s so many stalls. \n\nAnyways, I get to the restroom and this time, there’s a line. I patiently wait until I’m about 15 people from the front. Two workers come to the line and announce “there’s a lot of stalls open in the back” No one moves. \n\nSo the worker other worker says “you don’t need to wait in line, there’s a ton of open stalls”. Again, no one moves. \n\nSo I hop out of line, walk past those in front of me, and head to the back of the restroom. I see about 2\/3 of all the stalls are empty.\n\nOn my way to the back of the restroom, this random woman grabs my arm and says I need to wait my turn. I say there’s plenty of stalls and there’s room for everyone. She starts pinching my arm and says there were people ahead of me and I need to get back in line. I was so surprised I just yanked my arm away, directed her to an empty stall, and then went in one myself. \n\nBy the time I came out, there was no line and the workers were much more aggressively directing incoming people to empty stalls. \n\nYes, I technically skipped 15 people in line, but they were being sheeple and mindlessly following. I don’t like to waste my own time. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA by a mile.\n\nYou WAITED to see if anybody in front of you would take the open stalls before you jumped in. If you were like, boxing people out or hurrying to cut them off, then I could see this random woman's point of view, I guess, but they literally could be doing the same thing as you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go \"get groceries\" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.\n\nEvery time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always \"needs\" help.\n\nShe doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with \"Yeah, ok then\" and rolled her eyes.\n\nTonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip. \n\nShe is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA buy an air horn and start using it to get her attention to see how she likes it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has been working overtime lately , and since my parents are elderly I have been watching my nephew (11). \nBecause she works long shifts, she has been dropping him off for two days at a time. \n\nMy sister is a really Type A personality, I’m not saying that to insult her or anything, it’s just how she is. She has my nephew’s days planned to a T, and even brings him with all of his breakfast, lunch, diners and snacks for the time he will be with me. I have told her that this isn’t necessary, but she does it anyway. \n\nI want to be clear that I’m not trying to insult her, but the meals that she packs are pretty boring. Frozen sausage biscuits for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch and a pasta dish for dinner.\nMy nephew is actually a very adventurous eater, and I love to cook, so he always asks me for some of what I’m eating instead of his own meal. \n\nWe have used this as an activity that we can do together. We have cooked all sorts of things from sushi to curry to tacos. \n\nHe is enjoying our meals so much that he has started to be a bit of a brat to his mother at home about her cooking. I think this has more to do with his age than anything, but my sister is blaming me. She says that I’m “spoiling” him, she’s angry at me for wasting her money, and thinks I’m turning her son against her. I think maybe she’s overworked and being ridiculous! \n\nWe have been arguing about this since Friday. She is demanding that I only feed him the food that she brings over, or she will not let me baby sit him. Then she gets mad and blames me for putting her in a “tight spot” because I’m not a reliable babysitter. Is this really such a big deal? Am I the asshole for not feeding him these prepared meals? ######","completion":" NTA BUT...\n\n>He is enjoying our meals so much that he has started to be a bit of a brat to his mother at home about her cooking.\n\nYou need to talk to your nephew about his behavior. If she's overworked, maybe there's a reason she can't be as \"adventurous\" with food as you can. He needs to understand that. I don't know what he says to your sister, but it must hurt to be overworked and then insulted by your child for not being able to work harder when it comes to food. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects. \n\n\nI normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).\n\n\nWe were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.\n\n\nBefore the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.\n\n\nTurned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.\n\n\nShe was and is still angry at me for my \"shitty suggestion\", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but... That's not a healthy habit. I understand skipping a meal to build appetite - that would be intermittent fasting - but fasting 3 days? It's not genetics and you are not gifted, you have trained your body to do that. It's an eating disorder. Your friend fainted because her body wasn't used to it, not because she was born without a talent for fasting. Evidently it doesn't weigh on you as much as others, but it's unhealthy. Maybe consider picking up a workout routine and simply workout a little more (but within reason!) when you want to build up appetite or stay in shape - or just... Eat a normal amount of food at events. It's okay, you know. Take care.\n\nSource: a recovered anorexic. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again. \n\nOnward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y\/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.\n\nMy sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands,  most weren't coming anyway.  When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details) \n\n I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but your sister is and still found someway to make it about her. ######"}
{"prompt":"33F, married, financially stable and happy with a couple cats and a senior dog\n\nMy mother (67 F) is a cancer survivor and was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor. Considering her history with treatment, the prognosis isn't good. \n\nShe and I aren't close. She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother *loves* babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter. Unfortunately for her, I'm childfree. I like kids. I even work with babies, and I'm good with them. But I've never wanted one, and I'm an only child.\n\nI called her after the diagnosis came in to check on her, and - in tears - she declared that now is the time that I *have* to give her a grandbaby. The doctor is giving her about a year to live, perfect timing if I get pregnant now apparently. She says this is the only thing that would make her feel better about dying.\n\nAs usual, I said no. I don't want a kid. My spouse doesn't want a kid. That's it.\n\nNow, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm TA for refusing her dying wish. They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child.\n\nTo be clear, I'm not going to change my mind. A lot of factors have gone into my decision not to have babies, and a few old people calling me a self-absorbed bitch won't change that, but I'll admit that perhaps I am, in fact, a self-absorbed bitch. \n\nWhat say you, reddit? ######","completion":" NTA but your mother and her friends sure are. You should never have a child because someone else wants you to. I’m sorry your mother is ill but to demand you have a child so she can be a grandmother is an incredibly selfish thing to do. You do you. Don’t have kids or do based on what you and your partner want, everyone else can shove their opinion right up their arse. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So.\n\nMy full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version. \n\nThere is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz. \n\nI HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.\n\nAnd everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.\n\nSome of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.\n\nI know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.\n\nI've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms. \n\nSo now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######","completion":" NTA but you’ve told them your name.  Silence till they use it.  Call people by their name; don’t arbitrarily change someone’s name without their consent. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy (f17) sister and her (m37) husband are currently staying with us, My sister and I get along very well, But her husband is a jerk, he's a sarcastic asshole who doesn't care about other people's feelings, This is one of the many reasons why I don't like him so much.\n\nSo last night BIL was laying on the couch watching CNN, While I was scrolling through reddit and having a bit of fun, My sister shouted from the kitchen when she was done with the dishes and told my BIL to take the trash out, He turned to me and said:\n\nBIL: (my name) go take the trash out.\nMe: But she TOLD you to take the trash out!\nBIL: Yes, I'm not deaf, I heard what she just said, But I'm TELLING YOU NOW to take the trash out, I suppose you're not deaf either, are ya?\n\nI tried to keep my cool and ignore him.\n\nMe: I'm sorry, I thought that this is a man's job!.\n\nBIL: You're a girl??? (Sarcastically)\n\nWhen he said that I knew he was making fun of my new pixie haircut that I did at home cause I couldn't go to the salon and wanted to try something new.\n\nMe: Are you still making fun of my haircut?.\n\nBIL: Will you do it if I said no?\n\nMe: Unbelieveble!\n\nI get off the couch, took the trash from under the kitchen sink and head out.\n\nOn my out, BIL suggested that I dress up and take a selfie of myself next to the trashpin and post it on facebook, you guys have no idea how humiliated that made me feel, I don't care if it's a social media trend, he just humiliated me, he once asked for my opinion on a political matter than he made fun of me, and called me a liberal dum dum, made fun of my new phone case, and criticized my cooking which is the reason why I don't cook anymore.\nI told my sister and she said i was just overreacting and that she'll get him to take the trash out next time. ######","completion":" NTA but you’re giving way too much of your energy to this guy.  He’s a jerk, and you know he’s a jerk.  \nTelling him, “Don’t take your insecurities about being a 37 year old curmudgeon living at his wife’s parents place out on me.” Just give it back to this guy.  He’ll shut up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (45F) left my husband (40m) a few days ago, took my kids and went to a hotel. I was hoping to work things out but needed some time to think. We had a big fight but what it comes down to is that he doesn’t feel like I am a good mother since I got cancer. I don’t do enough around the house after being sick and having surgery and chemo. I will admit it has been hard and it’s been a long road to recovery. I started back to work 8 months ago but I still take care of my children when they aren’t at school. He has done the bulk of the housework and I appreciate everything he’s done but I’m just so tired of him telling me that I’m not a good mom, and “not even a parent”. I just had to get out of there. I just can’t accept how cruel his is to me anymore. So I gathered the kids things and left. \nOne of the things I took was my husbands iPad so that my son can do his schoolwork. I didn’t realize I could also see his messages until a notification came up while we were doing school. He was talking to my cousin (29m) who has lived with us for almost a decade. He was saying that he wished I had died from\ncancer. He said fact that I lived is the worst thing to ever happen to him. My cousin just said, “yea, I hear ya bro” and things like that. They had a long conversation and the opinion that I should have died was stated four times. Not once did my cousin, who I helped raise, defend me.\nI have not returned home because of what I saw. My husband wants to work things out, but even if I do, I don’t want my cousin in my home anymore. I am so hurt that my so called family would not defend me and would just agree that I should have died. My husband has rage issues that he needs to address and I won’t be going anywhere near him until he does, but aita to say I never want to see my cousin again either? ######","completion":" Nta but you're completely ignoring YOUR HUSBAND SAID IT TOO... you're holding your cousin to s higher moral standard then your own husband...they both gotta go, save the messages for future court proceedings ######"}
{"prompt":"This will be a short one because there isn’t really much story to it\n\nI currently live with my four siblings (2 M and 2 F) and my bio parents. Now, I really like to make a nice coconut soup that I sip on in my free time, which tastes really delicious. I make a new pot about every 2-3 days because that’s how long it takes for me to finish it, and I put the leftovers in a mason jar and throw it in the refrigerator when I’m not eating. However, for the past few weeks I’ve been noticing that sometimes in the morning, the contents of the jar completely disappears which forces me to make a new one. Someone’s definitely been eating my soup. I confronted my family but they all denied it. I tell them that it takes a long time to make the soup and it’s not cool, but they still deny it. I’d be happy to give them some if they asked, but no one’s coming forward. I remember reading a thread once on Reddit about someone catching who was stealing their lunch by putting habeneros in it so I think it would be funny to do the same. I was a bit of a spice enthusiast a few years ago and during that period I bought myself a few ghost peppers, and am contemplating putting those in my soup to catch whoever’s stealing it. I feel like this might be a little overboard. WIBTA?\n\nTl;dr WIBTA for putting ghost peppers in my soup to catch whoever is stealing it? ######","completion":" NTA but you'll need to do an update!! ######"}
{"prompt":"Restaurants opened up here recently for dine-in.  My husband has 2 autoimmune diseases and is a disabled veteran.  My mother is 69 and Diabetic and lives with us.  I am diabetic and having surgery in 10 days.\n\nMy daughter (26) mentioned she was going to eat with friends tonight.  I asked if she was going to a restaurant and she said yes.  Given the above, and the current health crisis, I told her to please not go to a restaurant.  She slammed away from the table, slammed her chair into the table and stormed out.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but you should work on a long term plan for how this is going to work. You can't tell another adult what to do, even if she is doing something risky. I feel like she will just do it anyway. She might need to stay with friends or somewhere else. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 21 year old student living at home. My parents have never really had a good relationship, but it all came to a head when my youngest brother was born. My dad started having an affair with a family friend who eventually got pregnant and now I have a half brother. His mom as well as her family completely abandoned him and now he’s being raised by my parents. \n\nThe last child that my parents had together was me when they were already in their late 50’s and they’re not doing so hot now in their 70’s. I decided to stay home and help take care of my little brother because I felt at the time that it was the right thing to do. During a conversation one night, my mom complimented me on my willingness to step up and help her with such a weird situation and hoped I’d continue to be there for my brother after they’re gone. Their health isn’t great because they smoke and drink pretty heavily and they aren’t able to interact with him like they were with me so they rely on me quite a bit to change, feed, clothe, and play with him. \n\nWith what’s going on in the world, I’ve been able to take a bit more of a break and focus my energy on my brother but when I go back to school full-time I won’t be able to and honestly I don’t really want to. I love my brother regardless of the circumstances, but I genuinely have no desire to put my life on hold to raise him if it comes to that. I’m starting to regret my decision because I feel like a parent when I never asked to be one. ######","completion":" NTA but you should make that clear now before something happens to them. They need to make other arrangements. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.\n\nMy half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister. \n\nTold me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground. \n\nMy mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######","completion":" NTA but you should definitely see if you can live at your dads permanently to get away from that toxicity ######"}
{"prompt":"So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no. \n\nFast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.\n\nAnd that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying \"I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather.\" I told her \"he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me\". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision. \n\nReddit AMTA? ######","completion":" NTA but you should be angry at your mom for her decisions not just the other guy. ######"}
{"prompt":"About ten years back, I(32f) inherited  my grandpa’s farm. About 8 years ago my mom got sick, so I moved into my inherited house to be closer to her. I got a great job locally, and I’ve lived here ever since. In my free time, I rescue animals and take them in. On my land I have, two cows, one horse, one donkey, a flock of chickens, pigs, cats, and dogs. \n\nI have a VERY demanding job, so sometimes I don’t always have the time to feed them. Obviously I can’t let them starve, so I hire assistants to help with them. It’s a physically demanding job, and not everyone can do it.\n\nI live near a college town, so a lot of kids come to interview. Most of them think it’s easy cash, just feeding animals and such, but they have to carry that food across to the paddocks everyday. I have a couple requirements for the job. Like no allergies, you’ve got to be strong, fast, and good with animals.\n\nSo the other day, I got these two kids come in. A girl and boy. The girl was very nice, but she was short and petite. Not the type I was looking for to haul hay across my farm. The boy however, was huge. I asked both of them to try and pick up one of my pigs. Boy could do it, girl could not. \n\nI hired the boy but not the girl. Next thing I know she’s screaming at me about how I’m sexist and that the only reason I didn’t hire her was because she’s a girl. Truth is, I don’t hire many girls. I don’t usually get any that come in. I do have one of my staff though.\n\nI told her that she just didn’t fit the requirements and she started crying and left. I know she wasn’t a good fit, but she just seemed so upset.\n\nAITA?\n\n\n(If he couldn’t lift it, and she could, i would hire her instead. And yes they will need to be able to pick up the pigs. Or at least drag their stubborn asses into their pen) ######","completion":" NTA but you really should put on you add that the job requires to be able to carry a certain weight and walking at least x distance daily. There are a lot of women that are good at farm work so sex shouldnt be a requirement, but if you need some physical atributtes you should be forward about it.\n\nEdit: Ok, you are right I should have use the word gender instead of sex. English is not my first language and that is why I made the mistake. ######"}
{"prompt":"I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######","completion":" NTA but you probably could've been more tactful about it ######"}
{"prompt":"So I feel terrible and guilty but I also feel like I have no choice. Looking for advice and unbiased judgment.\n\nI have a younger sister (26) who’s disabled. I won’t get into it but she’s unable to work a full time job and is on disability, which isn’t much. She’s been living with me for ~3 years. I pay for nearly everything including groceries but she chips in for utilities or takeout once in a while. \n\nLast year she started dating a guy and got very serious very quickly. He’s underemployed with social anxiety and lives off of a little money his parents send him each month. He also moved in with us a few months back. I live in a larger house so didn’t mind 2 more people at the time. \n\nTwo weeks ago my sister told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. She said she’s around 1.5 months along and they’re excited to be parents. I didn’t know how to react and sat on it for a few days before approaching both of them and saying that I can’t have them raising a baby in my home. \n\nI basically support both of them at this stage, letting them use their own money (again, not much) for leisure things like movies or video games. I asked them how they plan on paying for a baby and they didn’t think it was a big deal. I imagine if the baby comes I’ll probably end up paying for all 3 of them. \n\nIn the end I told both of them that they can stay with me until the baby comes, but I don’t want a baby in my home and the huge amount of responsibility that will probably fall to me. My sister cried and her bf accused me of being two faced, because they have nowhere else to go. I offered to help them pay rent for the first few months and budget for them but they’re resistant. My sister is now saying I’m essentially forcing them to give up their baby by kicking them out. I feel bad but I feel like if this keeps going I’ll be supporting an entire family on my own for who knows how long. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but you need to revise the move-out date up a few months because if they are still there when the baby arrives you will have a much harder time forcing them to leave. She should be about 2 months along now; I would tell them they have until she is 6 months and then they can move on their own or you will start a formal eviction process. That gives them four months to figure something else out and also for the quarantine to lift. Do NOT back down on this - they're only excited to be parents because they've never had to actually be responsible adults themselves; it isn't your burden to have to cater to two grown ass adults, esp when they're selfish enough to throw a baby on you that you don't want or need. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us. \nI generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.\nA few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue. \nAm i overreacting? Aita? ######","completion":" NTA but you need to recognize this friendship is unhealthy and end it ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her \"so, how many years pregnant are you?\"\n\nShe has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######","completion":" NTA but you might get in trouble with HR for that. You should probably consider another approach. ######"}
{"prompt":"Not long because the title says it all.\n\nI fell pregnant earlier this year by my boyfriend and since we're both 23 and not stable enough, I told him I was planning to abort. He said he didn't support that decision but it wasn't his choice so he'll just go with it. I had the procedure and we continued dating but now I've heard from a mutual friend that he tells them and his family that I murdered his firstborn or some bullshit like that. I shouted at him about it and admittedly did post some stuff for him on fb(without his name). He apologized and said he won't do it again but now his sister is attacking me for being an asshole to him. aita? ######","completion":" NTA but you mean ex boyfriend right? ######"}
{"prompt":"The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car\/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him. \n\ntl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######","completion":" NTA but you gotta get that in writing. Tell him if he wants to charge you rent then you'll have to move into a tenant\/landlord arrangement, and that means dropping everything you do for him, or working out (in writing) which chores contribute toward rent. July is Way too soon to start springing rent on you, morally. And the fact that you don't have a predictable income also makes him TA, morally. Legally I have no idea. \n\nHe's probably within his rights to ask for rent, but he's fundamentally changing the relationship between you and you're moving into something that needs documentation and budgeting. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA\n\nTwo years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######","completion":" NTA but you got scammed ######"}
{"prompt":"Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore. \n\nAll of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside. \n\nI figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time. \n\nHe got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but you got bigger problems than no clean sleep clothes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!! \n\nFor context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name. \n\nIt came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess. \n\nMy friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ######","completion":" NTA but yelling at her isn't the way to go about it. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nMy advice would be to let her know that you love her, etc but make it clear that when you two speak you will not even entertain that subject. Like, not. at. all. And then make good on that if she pushes. When she says \"So, when do you plan on settling down.\" you get up, grab your keys and you leave. Don't be mean about it, but just don't entertain the conversation. If she gets mad or asks why you're leaving you say \"You broke the rules. I'd love to come back if you can follow them.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her. \n\nTo be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer. \n\nShe thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE\/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’. \n\nI don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?\n\n(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######","completion":" NTA but with friends like these, who needs enemies? ######"}
{"prompt":"The weather's finally starting to get good again and I'm bored out of my freaking mind stuck at home. At the very least I've figured I can get a quick tan on and enjoy the sun. We're lucky to have a backyard and a small jacuzzi, and I've taken full advantage of both aspects in the last few days. I hate tan lines, and so does my husband, so I happen to spend time in various states of undress when I'm getting my sun on.\n\nWhen chatting with the neighborhood moms, I happened to say I loved that I could sunbathe outside now with a drink and I've got a perfectly good excuse to do it, which is fresh air and getting out of the house. A luxury in these times, I know.\n\nAlmost immediately I got a snide remark from one of them suggesting that I hopefully have enough sense to do it \"with decency\" because all the neighborhood kids are now indoors and my backyard might not be as private as I think. Like wtf! She even had the gall to suggest I was setting a bad example for my teenage daughter. Like yikes.\n\nI'm this close to sending out a blast on the group passive aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times.\n\nAITA here or is my anger justified? ######","completion":" NTA but with caution. You are in every right to do what you want in your own backyard as long as the people who live with you are okay with it and you have a fence. However, I would caution against sending out a \"blast on the group passive-aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times\" that will only make people angrier and will make their outrage more justified, undermining your own argument. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad is a lower IQ boomer who is a die hard trump supporter and he never shuts the fuck up about how every race other than Italian-American is garbage. All my life, that’s all I’ve heard. I don’t believe that shit at all, that racial BS is garbage and I always call him out on it. After my mom passed, i decided to spend more time with him, I don’t want him to be alone and miserable in his last days. Today I went shopping at the market with him, I ask the deli man (of Haitian descent) for a 20 piece wing, half spicy (my dad hates any type of seasoning) and one extra spicy (for me). He kept telling me to grab the wings on the side in the case, which are all spicy. I tried explaining to the deli dude I don’t want ALL spicy wings, but he kept telling me he won’t serve me, and that I have to grab the all spicy wings that are in the case. I told the dude “forget it bro, I’ll just go to Popeyes”; my dad yells from the back “you dumb Haitian!”. I told my dad “yo, you can’t say that in public man”. He yells out “WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?! ARREST ME?”. I don’t wanna be seen next to someone saying that shit. It’s humiliating, especially when everyone is staring like I’m a giant tub of white trash mayonnaise, just because I’m with him. I left him right there, got a ride to my place, and haven’t spoken to him since. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA but why say racial? Let's be honest, its straight up racist. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.\n\n Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there. \n\nThen, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######","completion":" NTA but what the fuck? Of course the water bill has gone up your home more often due to covid so logically you will use more water not because little Timmy is drinking 4 gallons more than usual. *smashes head into keyboard* ######"}
{"prompt":"The title of this is a good tldr, but here’s more background information;\n\nMy husband and I have been married for five years. After we had our daughter I got pretty severe postpartum depression. I wasn’t myself for about a year and my marriage slowly fell apart. Everything came to ahead when I found out my husband was having an affair (around 4 months) with another woman. \n\nWe worked through it. We went to counseling, I got help with my depression, and things eventually sorted themselves out and went back to normal. The affair was a little over a year ago. \n\nOne evening a few months ago, I started to think about this woman. I knew her name, so I looked her up on Facebook. I saw that she made art, and looked at her Instagram. Her artwork is beautiful. I found myself checking her Instagram frequently just to look at it. There was one piece that she made around the time of her affair with my husband that really stuck out to me, and I admit I became a bit obsessed with it. \n\nI eventually messaged her, telling her who I was and the situation, and asked her if it was for sale. She gave it to me. She sent it in the mail, she when it came to me I had it framed. I hung it up in our living room last night. \n\nWhen my husband saw it, he immediately recognized it. He got angry, and asked me why I would hang it up. I told him that I loved it, and I couldn’t explain why. I told him about how I had spoken to her, and he got even more upset. He demanded that I the picture down. When I asked him why, he told me I was throwing the affair in his face. I tried to explain that it was not my reasoning, but he wouldn’t listen. He is threatening to leave if I don’t take the picture down, and I think it’s an exteeeme reaction. Am I being an asshole here and deserving of this response? ######","completion":" NTA but weird as hell. There are some levels here a psychoanalyst would love to unpack. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me. \n\nAll of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.\n\nIf I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.\n\nWIBTA if I pointed it out? ######","completion":" NTA but they’re going to make you feel like you are. ######"}
{"prompt":"For the past few years, my mom has (she may think \"discreetly\") fat-shamed my sister. Every time my mother says something to my sister, it is obvious that my sister is visibly hurt; I sometimes even hear her cry in her room. She opened up to me and told me that she struggles with binging and restricting and hates it when our mother says anything about her body. Similarly, my mom body-shames me for not being as skinny as my figure-skating club friends (I figure skate competitively) and having too much muscle and fat in my thighs. To be clear, my mother is fatter that both my sister and me.\n\nMy mom is not a rational being. So, (this may sound immature), I fat-shame my mother. I thought at first that this would stop her from fat-shaming both my sister and me, if she knew what it feels like. But in fact, the more I fat-shamed my mother, the worse it became for me and my sister. But even if I stop fat-shaming my mother, she continues body-shaming anyhow. I've found a middle ground of fat-shaming my mother only every two times she body-shames me and my sister, but body-shaming isn't a fun thing to do and I feel sort of bad.\n\n\\*\\*Also, I've tried the route of trying to have a serious talk with my mother. She won't listen. All she says is \"fat is shame\" and \"I don't want you guys to turn out like me.\" ######","completion":" NTA But they may be better ways to show her how hurt you are and how stupid her tactics ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want \"chemicals\" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.   \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSome of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.  \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nBut some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.   \nThey also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.  \n\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer\/not vaccinated? ######","completion":" NTA but there is no point telling her, she won't listen. Tell the businesses she works with, she is endangering children's lives. Hopefully they will put a stop to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y\/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek... \n\nwhen this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy... \n\nLast night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister\/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######","completion":" NTA but the worse lesson you are teaching him is pressuring a girl gets the results he wants. ######"}
{"prompt":"Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects. \n\n\nI normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).\n\n\nWe were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.\n\n\nBefore the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.\n\n\nTurned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.\n\n\nShe was and is still angry at me for my \"shitty suggestion\", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but starving yourself for three days then binging is a pretty bad eating disorder so take care of yourself ######"}
{"prompt":"Apologies for mobile post.\n\nBasically a year ago I did a study abroad program. I had a couple of pet fish I had to leave behind. When I came home I reclaimed my pets, but my younger sister had grown attached to one so she asked to keep it. I said yes, as long as my parents helped with taking care of it. They agreed. For the record it is a pretty low level fish in terms of care; a betta that is in a 5 gallon tank with a filter.\n\nI live two hours away for school. Routinely my mother will text me I need to come home to clean the aquarium. I remind her I offered to take him back with me, and they wanted him so it is not my responsibility. Regardless she will say things like ‘if you don’t come clean it the fish is just going to die’. Among expletives calling me lazy\/ungrateful for not just doing it for them.\n\nIn the past I have come and done it just to ensure the fish’s health. Most of the time the tank isn’t even dirty; the 9 year old leaves the light on so algae grows on the glass and they take that to mean it’s ‘dirty’. \nGiven current circumstances I’m even less keen on the 4 hour drive. \n\nAITA for not wanting to drive two hours there and two back just to clean a fish tank when I have taught them how but they refuse? ######","completion":" NTA but spare yourself and just bring the fish back with you next time you visit. Then you don't have to worry about the drive or the fish. If your sister or parents complain, tell them that if they're not responsible enough to care for it, then they don't get to keep it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.\n\nOne day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.\n\nI yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her. \n\nThe next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.\n\nI tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )\n\nI was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.\n\nWhen I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.\n\nI just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.\n\nThis is where we are at now AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but she needs to go see a therapist or something. That’s not normal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind. \n\nSeveral of my friends have now expressed that they think it's \"covert racism\" and \"culture appropriation\" because my Animal Crossing character is black.\n\nI'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine. \n\nI've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options. \n\nI keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different. \n\nI ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...\n\nSeriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game. \n\nTL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######","completion":" NTA but please think about all the purple eyed people you are offending as well! lol ######"}
{"prompt":"So when me and my fiancé Johnathan met, I knew that he had three kids and was going through a divorce. \n\nNow, Emily and Johnathan had a bad split, she cheated on him with a friend of their family and pretty much broke his heart. \n\nI’ve taken Johnathan and his three kids in with open arms, the children had even begun to call me mom, but Emily threw a fit and demanded they call me ONLY by name. Nothing else. She hates that I do the girls hair, and trash talks me and their father in front of them. \n\nNow, the kids and I have a great relationship and love each other very much, however whenever their mother is around they completely ignore me, and pretend I’m not even around. At first I thought it was normal, however I’m starting to get the feeling they are pretending to like me. Am I the asshole for wanting them to knowledge me when she’s around? \n\n(Kids ages are 4,7,9) ######","completion":" NTA but please don't. You're an adult. They're small children who've been put in an impossible situation by their mom. Please don't insist on this. Try to arrange it so you're not around when their mother is. Hand offs should be between your husband and his ex. Take the high road and never bad mouth their mother anywhere they might come across it. This situation sucks for them and you can help make it better. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm moving in with my husband, long story but I have to move countries.\n\nHis son is living there. I have questions and I feel like I'm not being told the whole story so here it goes:\n\n\\- He moved a few years ago after saying he need a few months to sort himself out. I didn't agree to looking after a man-child when I married my husband and step-son wasn't in the plan for us.\n\n\\- He had a job in a shop as a manager in 2017 and quit after a few weeks as he was too \"stressed\".\n\n\\- Since then, he's sat at home doing nothing and my husband is funding this.\n\nNow, he's turned 25 and will no longer be able to be on our health insurance in a year (when he turns 26). I do not like seeing my husband being taken advantage of and I have a suspicion his son has access to our joint account. Soon my salary will be in there, AITA for not wanting to bank roll the adult step-son and expect him to be working? AITA for suggesting my husband put pressure on his son and stop enabling him to be a lazy c\\*\\*t? I feel like I'm having the pee taken out of me.\n\nIf he's depressed, then we can take him to see a therapist and get it sorted but this has gone on too long now. I don't feel I'm the a\\*\\*hole but feel my husband needs to man up and my step-son needs to get a life as it' really sad that he has no friends his own age or career prospects. ######","completion":" NTA but please don't let this guy have access to your money. You dont HAVE to have a joint account.\n\n\nTherapy sounds like a good option. I wouldn't call him a lazy c××t though, especially if you suspect depression. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F\/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: \"I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less\". \nNow when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?\nAlso it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ######","completion":" NTA but OP your solution will get you nowhere, it'll just escalate things into a petty war.\n\nHave you tried sitting down and trying to reach a compromise with your  brother? If you two are able to talk to each other on other topics without fighting maybe you can reach some sort of truce with this as well.\n\nThe elephant in the room here might also be that the room you're sharing with your brother now probably used to just be his room right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I own my house. Myself, very old dog Beau and a housemate live in it. Because beau is old he is inside while I’m at work and I’ve always been very clear that my housemate needs to keep his door closed. The other day he didn’t and Beau got into a very large bag of chocolate, I got home and caught it, an emergency vet visit later and he is fine. my housemate has demanded I replace his chocolate, I’ve said ok fine I’ll replace his chocolate if he pays for the vet bill(which I never asked him to pay until he kicked up a stink about his chocolate) \nAITA for not wanting to replace his chocolate because he left his door open? Yes the dog is solely mine but still... ######","completion":" NTA but only if you pay the dog tax and show us Beau, the good boi. ######"}
{"prompt":"Forgive me, but English is not my first language. \n\nI am planning to get married soon, and I, a male, am planning to change my family (last) name to my wife’s last name.\n\nMy entire family’s pissed for a multitude of reasons:\n\n**Grandparents:**\n\nWomen need to give up last name, never men!\n\n**Father:**\n\nYou’re escaping the family curse! (My last name is Kim, and we live in Japan, which has discrimination against Koreans. It was really bad when my father was working, now it’s thankfully low-key and not bad at all). He has a “we suffered due to last name so you suffer” mentality. \n\n**Mother:**\n\nWho else is going to carry out family name and legacy! You only have one sister who can’t carry it! I am not letting my branch of family end on my watch!\n\n**Sister:** \n\n\\[looking peeved\\] You’re just tired of people asking you to speak Korean, right? Just deal with it! (My family lineage stopped speaking Korean at my great-grandfather’s generation).\n\n**I just want to change my last name so…**\n\n1) Symbolize that my wife is the master of the household.\n\n2) I can escape low-key racism. \n\n3) Stop disappointing people when they try to be friendly by animatedly asking if I can speak Korean, only to find out I can only speak Japanese and English.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but only because - this is a decision for yourself and your wife and if she's fine with it then that's all that matters. \n\nAlso I got a good laugh at your father wanting you to suffer because he suffered. He sounds like my great-grandmother who complained we never had to endure the Great Depression and WWII as though that was a bad thing. Pretty sure if she'd had the power she'd have crashed the stockmarket just to teach us a lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21f) am an intern at my company and will be in my position until December and have been here since January. My coworker (50's f) has been working her for about 25 years.\n\nMy office is no where near anyone else's office (great place to put your intern, btw). While it is a bigger office then hers, there is really nothing that makes this office better. There is only really a desk in here, not even a trash can. And it is right next to the bathroom, so you can here and smell when others have used it... Often. \n\nHer office is by everyone else in the department, and while it is smaller, it has many storage spots and much more usable space. \n\nThe issue is that she had been telling me that she will be moving into this space. First, she only mentioned to my supervisor and didn't even say a word to me. She then changed her mind, saying she'll wait until I go back to school in August, not knowing I'm hereunto December.\n\nNow, she knows I'm here longer than she expected and told me \"well, I want to move in over here soon.\"\n\nI don't care either way, but I feel a little disrespected by her essentially telling me rather than asking.\n\nWIBTAH if I tell her that I don't mind switching, but would appreciate it if she asked to switch rather than tell me? \n\nI am only an intern, so maybe I'm out of line trying to get someone who has a higher status and now experience to ask rather than say. I also don't want to be disrespectful in return.\n\nSo reddit, WIBTAH? ######","completion":" NTA but not in the position to make a big deal about it.  Maybe just ask your supervisor \"hey, x mentioned that we might be swapping offices soon. I haven't heard anything from you about it yet so I wasnt sure if it was just an idea or something that was going ahead.  I'm happy to move across if you want me to, just let me know if\/when.\" That way it's flagged (if they don't know about it, it will make them aware without you being labeled as difficult). ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my boyfriend spends a moderate sized chunk of money on things like patreon and onlyfans so I got annoyed and told him something along the lines of \"Why do you spend all this money on random women when I'm right here and we could use this money to go somewhere together\", it also makes me feel bad when I see him replying to these models tweets about how hot they are and how he'd love to fuck them, even though we follow each other\n\nAnyway, my comment annoyed him and he snapped at me and said \"why the fuck does it matter how much i spend\".\n\nAm I being unreasonable with this? I feel ignored because I am here to do all that stuff with if he wants.. ######","completion":" NTA but my heart hurts reading this thread and your replies to everyone, OP. You seem to think that this isn’t a sign of his disrespect towards you and your monogamous relationship, you say you wouldn’t break up with him over this. All I can say is re-read what everyone has said to you and don’t discount it. I can’t believe he openly does this stuff and I can’t believe that you can’t see what his actions actually mean. This is a highly troubling relationship and I hope you gain clarity about all of this because I hate to think of you being with someone like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March. \n\nToday he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.  \n\nI’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half. \n\nMy boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" nta but my end of july trip to jamaica was just cancelled, unfortunately yours probably will be as well ######"}
{"prompt":"He says \"we have two incomes so we split the rent two ways and that's how it works\" but I don't feel like that's right. I'm paying rent for his wife... They're my friends and I don't want it to become an issue but I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of... I know we aren't supposed to post about interpersonal conflict so I tried to keep it just about the math. Sorry if this is against the rules, but I really need to figure this out. ######","completion":" NTA but maybe not 2\/3, especially if they're sharing a room. I lived with a couple and we spilt it such that they each paid less than I did, but together it was still more. The fact that they only have one income doesn't really matter, they're still two separate people you have to live with instead of one.\n\nJust make sure you approach it matter-of-factly and not like you're demanding or getting mad, this is a pretty reasonable ask. ######"}
{"prompt":"My partner and I live in a garden apartment, our windows are literally ground level. \n\nWe were sitting there watching tv (tv is under the window), and we see a kid in our window. Kid doesn’t just look in and leave, kid stares in. For a hot minute. I walk out, see mom, and ask her to not allow her kid to stare in my window. She says her kid was playing in the yard. We live in an apartment building, fair enough. However, there’s a giant bush in front of our window. You can’t get to our window without going around this massive bush. \n\nI told her to teach her kid to not stare into people’s windows. \n\nThis lady lost it. Completely. She started screaming at me that kids don’t know and that she didn’t mean anything and all this.\n\nI told her I get she’s a kid, but maybe teach her to not stare in people’s windows?\n\nAgain, she lost it. Her kid started sobbing. This woman called the cops on me for making her daughter cry. Not kidding. She called the cops for that. \n\nI tried walking over to her a few minutes later and talk to her, tell her I get kids will be kids, but kid should know to not stare in windows, and she just continued to go the fuck off on me. And how I made her daughter cry and made her daughter hysterical and how I’m going to get arrested for making her daughter so upset.\n\nThe cops came. They actually did. I told them I just tried to tell her I wasn’t ok with her kid looking in my window. The cops were not impressed by this call, at all. We live in Chicago, there’s about 102839 other things the cops could be doing besides dealing with this. \n\nThey told us to avoid each other. No problem for me. \n\nAm I the asshole for this? Should I have been more understanding? ######","completion":" NTA but maybe buy some curtains ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) got laid off from my job as of yesterday. Without giving out too much information I was a health care recruiter living in a major city where everything has been hit pretty hard. Naturally, we expected there to be layoffs. \n\nUnfortunately out of about 35-40 people in my company I was considered apart of those layoffs as of 6 PM yesterday. I was upset, as most could imagine because I no longer had an income or a job that I loved. \n\nI intended to go through all my candidates \/ clients today and transfer them over to a new recruiter, “Mary”(23F), so that they weren’t left without a point of contact and so that they knew what was going on. \n\nBefore I had a chance to contact my candidates Mary reached out to them to let them know “ I’d been promoted “ so therefore she’d be “taking over as their recruiter from here on out”. I proceeded to receive over 20 text messages congratulating me on my promotion and wishing me the best. \n\nI had no idea she had done this until the end of day today when Mary said it’d just be an “easier transition” if people thought I was promoted. I told her it was was an asshole move because after getting laid off extremely out of the blue in unprecedented times I had everyone working for me “congratulating” me on my promotion. \n\nMy parents think she was just being cautious of my best interests but I’m still really hurt, so AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA but Mary def is. It wasn’t her place to tell your clients what happened. That’s just messed up. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (38) had a child 3 years ago. I (25) took that child under my wing 3 years ago. Here's a bit about the situation. \n\n\nMy sister  has  drug and alcohol addictions. \n\nMy sister give birth to a beautiful little boy. The minute the child was born the social worker where involved as this wasnt my sister 1st child. \nShe had a child 18 years ago and our mother and father ended up taking the child in when he was 4. \n\nThe child born 3 years ago was in the position of going to foster care.  I couldnt let this happen. He's  famiy. so I did everything in my power to kept him in our family \n\nI stept in and took the child under my wing. At 22 this was a big resonabile but I didnt cared. I had to quit my jobs and I had to buy everything for the child as my sister hadn't had anything. She was gifted stuff but the person that gifted it asked for it back. I moved out of my home house to get a house of my own so the child could stay in my care. \n\nMy sister  sign and agreed that I cared for the child. I have full guardianship now. \n\nThe child calls me mammy. And calls my sister by her first name. In the years to come I am going to tell the child everything. The child knows he has a big brother but is to young to understand yet about his birth mother. \n\nThe child sees the mother every week for 2 hours. Due to the covid 19 it had to  be put on hold. However the mother only has two hours once a week and sometimes comes late. She somethings shows up with drink in her (gets turned away the door) and sometimes doesn't even show up at all. \n\nShe hasn't seen the child for 3 or months and I was putting the contact back on today. She didn't show. Didnt ring. Nothing. Found our later she slept in.\n\nI'm my opinion I dont think she's that bothered \n\nI'm not sure if I should continue the contact in future as she is unreliable and it's not fair to the child \n\nWould I be the asshole if I stop contact with the birth mother and the child. ######","completion":" NTA but make sure you go through proper channels. If the paperwork states she’s allowed visits, make sure to go through the court system etc. if nothing in the paperwork states you must let her see him, I’d tell her she’s cut off until she gets herself together. He’s better off forgetting her than having her flounce in and out whenever she feels like it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (22M) have just inherited a very large sum of money from my grandfather (80M), he passed recently. I won't disclose the full amount, but it's in the 7 figures. \n\nMy dad isn't in the picture... was raised by my mom (60F). Have 5 sisters (18F, 22F, 25F, 29F and 35F) and one brother (14M).\n\nAs you can imagine, things were very difficult. I always did feel neglected compared to my sisters and pushed aside.\n\nNow I'm not sure why I got the inheritance. It's not like I was smarter than some of my sisters or in a better position (I did ok for myself going to college, but they went to better ones) so this surprised me. I could be real lazy sometimes which was the opposite of my grandad so I'm surprised I got the inheritance. I think he just took a liking to me.\n\nAs soon as I found out, I knew right away I would keep all of it to myself. I don't want to give any of it to my family or even friends. It's all mine. \n\nThe first thing my family did was to call a meeting and basically they EXPECTED I would share it and they asked how, and I looked confused and told them \"you're not getting any of it\". This caused them to lose it and scream at me, especially my mom and eldest sister who said how could I do this to them. \n\nThen they said i don't deserve it as i didn't work hard (it's true I always partied and worked last minute) but I told them deserve has nothing to do with it.\n\nfrom my point of view they neglected me and didn't pay attention to me when I had problems growing up. It was all about my sisters.\n\nSo I told them it's my money and I'm going to keep all of it and they all called me asshole. Ive already got a new place lined up so I'm moving out when I can. But AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but know you are resigning yourself to a life without family at all.  You do this to them, you burn a bridge that I doubt you'll be able to build again. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm using a throwaway because my husband knows my main and my grammar maybe bad because I'm extremely upset \n\n\nSo background info i live next door to my in laws there's been some issues but my husband works with his dad and my daughter (4) thinks were her grandparents walk the sun shines so it's not all bad that's until my SIL and her son (7) moved in with her parents because she's having marriage problems rn \n\nI'm gonna be honest the kid is a bully and a spoiled brat I don't wanna go into too much details because of the rules but my poor kid life has been miserable since he came she'll literally be playing in her own backyard minding her business when he'll start being nasty to her so obviously when she starts crying her nana,aunt and uncles will tell her it's her fault in some way and call her a cry baby. Her aunt will make a snarky remark at how my daughter is a trouble maker or laugh it off with the whole \"Boys will be boys\" than rub her stomach and say the kids are giving her blood pressure \n\nMy SIL has been just as bad yelling at her for nothing, banning her for playing with her own toys because it might make her son jealous than throwing a fit if my daughter looks at her kids stuff. She's always been an attention seeker she made my wedding about her we couldn't post a wedding picture because she was going through \"issues\" with her husband even tho she's 30 her mom treats her like a baby \n\nMy husband has been no help he says she's having problems and I should cut her some slack because she's 3 months pregnant even tho I his wife is due to give birth in two weeks!! \n\nI'm sick of everyone enabling her and treating her like a child So WIBTA if I confronted her about her shitty behaviour or just banned all in laws from my home till their attitude changes ######","completion":" NTA but it’s not going to make a difference. You have a husband problem not an in law problem. Your husband should be sticking up for you and his child and telling his sister and parents to cut the shit. Until your husband has your back anything you say to them is just going to make your life harder unless you plan on going to stay with your parents or something like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but it's valid her feelings are hurt. Everyone's plans are on hold right now so it makes sense you don't want to do much, either. Still, it sounds like she put some effort into it. But ultimately, it is your birthday, you are helping her family, and your desired plans are less extravagant, not more. So try not to argue with her over it and then enjoy your birthday! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all. So I'm really looking for help.\n\nAbout five months ago, I had a minor car accident where it was my fault. I moved forward at a junction, realised the car in front of me hadn't moved and skidded on wet ground when I tried to stop. My car actually had more damage then hers.\n\nThe problem came when she mentioned she was pregnant. Right at the end I wished her good luck with the baby and she said 'if I still have one after this'. I am someone who has a condition that makes me more prone to having a miscarriage, so that upset me. Still, we exchanged details, I tried to put it from my mind.\n\nA few days after the accident, she texts me and says she's lost the baby. That completely broke me emotionally. I had to leave work that day. Multiple people told me it wasn't my fault. It's been in my head throughout everything that was going on.\n\nNow to today. I was at the supermarket this morning, and recognized her in the aisle ahead of me... obviously pregnant. After a few minutes, I went over to her and greeted her. I could tell she recognized my face and couldn't place me. So I told her: \"I'm the woman you had a car crash with and then told you lost your baby. Congratulations on the miracle regrow, by the way.\" She instantly looked panicked and walked away fast.\n\nI really want her to have some repercussions for this. I'm tempted to contact her insurer (I still have the information on my phone) to make them aware. But I feel like that would make me an AH. So Reddit... WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA but it won't accomplish anything. Knowing they have a complete asshole as a client won't make them drop her. Feel free to do it but be prepared to be told to go away by the insurance provider.\n\nEdit: I will say that if you needed therapy or something like that as a result of this that's a different story as you have proof she told you she lost the baby and they (or more likely she) could be liable to pay for that. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I'm currently living on the other side of the planet. With all the quarantine stuff, my mom's been actually genuinely worried about the family's well being, so she and my step-dad have organized a little video meeting every day where my step-dad shares a piece of the Bible and comments on it.\n\nI should clarify that I'm 26, gay, atheist and I have a degree on Philosophy. Former Christian. My parents are not okay with any of the previous points. Except perhaps for my age.\n\nI agreed to the meetings bc I felt like it would be a nice thing to do for my mom since he genuinely sounds worried. At first it was fine. Boring, but fine. However, since about a week ago, something has started to annoy me.\n\nThere have been many, too many mentions of homosexuality being a sin, a sign of the end of times; or quotes from Philosophers that get shut down with an absolute dumbass argument; or mentions of apostates burning in hell.\n\nAnd you may think this is standard religious stuff, but I know my parents far better than that.\n\nSo, today I got sick of it and I shot back.\n\nMy step-dad talked about Genesis, I questioned every single thing he brought up; he mentioned the ark and the flood, I shot back with scientific evidence; he mentioned Newton, I pulled his biography; he questioned Voltaire, I argued back; he claimed \"all bodies emmit light\" and I obviously shot that down immediately, not just bc it simply isn't true, but also bc he's mentioned several times he doesn't believe in the four elemental forces (despite being a retired Nuclear Medicine Physician).\n\nNeedless to say the call ended abruptly and in an unfriendly manner.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but it sounds like your step father doesn't want to hear your side. If the only reason you want to engage is for the sake of your mother, try having a video call with just her? I am in no way saying your step father's beliefs are correct or justified but that may be a solid compromise. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but it sounds like your mom needs some help. She obviously needs therapy and rehab ######"}
{"prompt":"Trying to make this quick and not put too much into it.\n\nWe have a 6yo daughter together. In May on Mother's day, my husband did nothing to have her give me a gift or even say the words to me. I want to say he got me a $1 bag of candy from the store and tossed it at me very nonchalantly like it was another day.\nI feel almost as though I should treat him the same. I was hurt by it at the time but didn't want to make a scene about it.\n\nToday being father's day is harder for me. I lost my dad a few years ago. My husband does not talk to either one of his parents. Which is a choice of his that I very much respect (but I would be pretty PO'd if he used that as an excuse to ignore mother's day for the mom of his kid)\n\nI feel a little guilty about ignoring it. Do I go do the same? Get him a candy bar and call it a day? Or have our daughter shower him with some praise? ######","completion":" NTA but it doesn’t sound like he’ll really care. Doesn’t seem he takes these days super seriously. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and step dad are away taking care of my step dad's mom, and left me, and my 3 step brother (15, 12 and 10) alone and the 15yo is \"in charge\".  Sure the younger 2 need supervision but I am 14 and don't need him to boss me around cause he does that A LOT.  I can't go to the store for food, he has ultimate say over the TV and dinner, and bosses us all around.  The power has really got to his head and its started to really piss me off cause he isn't that much older than me (14 months to be exact).  The younger 2 just do what he says cause they are younger and don't want to really fight his authority at all and I just don't get it.  \n\nI told everyone I was going out to get some stuff for lunch, and my step brother told me I can't go out.  I flat out told him that he can boss his younger brothers around but that shit won't work on me.  He tried to full on block the door but I hiked him out and ran out the front door.  \n\nRight when I was paying for the stuff at the store my phone was exploding with calls and text messages.  It was my mom, and when I was walking back I was talking to her.  She was not happy that I went against my brother’s authority and said that once they get back I’m grounded.  I tried to tell her that he is going crazy with a power trip but she wasn’t having it and said that they left him in charge so what he said goes.  \n\nWhen I got home my step brother asked me if it was worth it.  I told him whatever and went to my room.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but it doesn’t matter because your parents don’t see it like that. I would say you should have told your mom but my guess is she would have just said no. Could your dad step in and help you out? ######"}
{"prompt":"Context: I \\[30m\\] live with two roommates: Kate \\[32f\\] and Sean \\[27m\\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have \"communal food\" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.\n\nI do \"food rescuing\" quite regularly - which means \"hunting\" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.\n\nAs mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.\n\nI recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \\[probably absurdly expensive\\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.\n\nA few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.\n\nAs it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24\/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.\n\nFrankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \\[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \\[which sucks\\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \\[which also sucks\\].\n\nWIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######","completion":" NTA but if you can portion your communal food so that everyone can have a third so everyone can have some then it’ll solve problems. ######"}
{"prompt":"So some quick information is im 15F and I’ve had two very obvious surgical scars on my body my whole life. A feeding tube scar and a open heart surgery scar. If course im thankful i’m alive but I could definitely do without scars. I’m pretty insecure about it and it sucks sometimes I cant wear low cut shirts, some crop tops, or two piece bikinis in the summer because people WILL stare.\n\nFor the past three years I been bringing up the idea of a tattoo on my feeding tube scar when im 18 and every time I bring it up it’s immediately shot down. My dad keeps saying “If you grow up with a tattoo I raised you wrong” and my mom thinks its “trashy” And, the reason I care is because they’ll stop supporting me and will be upset with me if I get a tattoo, piercing, etc. They’ve said they’d kick me out if I did it when im living under their roof and I cannot tell if theyre joking or not. I love my parents but idk why the line is just drawn at body modifications. \n\nMy dad left to work in another state for the next two years until im in college and then my parents are gonna move out of our current house. I was sitting outside enjoying quality time with my mom and it came again to me discussing the idea of a tattoo. I seriously been trying to convince them. The answer is no. Again. But, my mom said she’d actually pay for plastic surgery to get it removed if it would prevent me from getting a tattoo. But, under one condition and that being I have to be 18. I said no, it would have to be when im 16 (legal with parental consent) or else im getting the tattoo at 18 because it’s easier in terms of recovery and of course safer. She was pissed that im being ungrateful. But, whats the point of getting plastic surgery when I can just have a cover up tattoo? \n\nSo, I lost my shit basically yelling “it been three years of me asking? Why won’t you support my decision because im not changing my mind and im getting it when im 18 if not plastic surgery at 16. Its my body.” etc. etc. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but if u get a tattoo, make sure the tattoo artist know how to work with scars. If not done propper the color can \"leak\" and other things. ######"}
{"prompt":"On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn. \n\nOur sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name. \n\nI’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me. \n\nWould I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ######","completion":" NTA but if this war is just a sign war it will be hard to mow the lawn ######"}
{"prompt":"We broke up recently, it was a toxic breakup, we lived together for two years... Well she jumped ship and moved in with her mom to a different state. She sends me a list of all the stuff she wants me to ship her, we are talking hundreds of pounds worth of stuff, including 3 guitars and a mountain bike. None of these things have boxes already BTW, and guitars are in soft cases. \n\nShe calls and says that they will pay me back for all shipping. I immediately get defensive and told her that I will not ship anything unless it is paid for ahead of time. I will not risk my own money to send her 3- 400 dollars worth of shipments to her. \n\nWell she was obviously very mad and hung up the phone. She told me later that her mom doesn't trust me to send her back the difference of cost... Given I have never lied or done anything dishonest at all in this relationship. \n\nAITA? I feel like I shouldn't take personal risk on this... ######","completion":" NTA But if they want a receipt, be sure to add time for \"handling\" since you have to pack everything up for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.\n\nMy boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.\n\nAITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######","completion":" NTA but if he's not going to enforce those boundaries and be on your team regarding his children taking your stuff\/invading your physical space, the relationship is doomed. ######"}
{"prompt":"So maybe I needn't have been so direct, but we have a really old fence that has significantly misaligned slats. While it's mostly never a problem and they think some bushes near these gaps give them some privacy, I've noticed that if I sit at the far end of my patio, I can not only see comfortably into their backyard, but on one occasion caught an ample glance of his wife tanning nude by their pool. Granted, it's not terrible, but I still felt like they ought to know.\n\nHis response? He told me to stop perving on his wife and mind my own business. Now I regret telling him and my wife tells me I should've let her tell his wife. AITA here? I'm just trying to inform them of something that costs them more than it does to us. ######","completion":" NTA but I’m with your wife on this one, man. It would have sounded better coming from her 😅 ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents moved to the States over 25 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan, but they’ve held onto their religion and culture pretty tightly ever since. I was raised in a very Muslim household with commands to pray 5 times a day and lectures on how to be a good Muslim. One of those rules is that dating is Islam is zinnah, a grave sin. In order to “date” in the religion, you have to get married first. Fast forward to last Saturday when I told my family about my 3-year long relationship with my white girlfriend.\n\nAt first they weren’t happy and demanded we broke up entirely. They didn’t see another way. Then my sister talked to them and convinced them of another avenue: getting us married under Islamic and US law and then leaving me to “commit mistakes” on my own, without my family’s support. To them, it’s either that or we have to break up. However, I don’t want to do either of those options. I would like to continue dating her until I can financially and emotionally support her to get married in the farther future. They won’t accept that at all on the basis that it’s not the Islamic way. Therefore, since I can’t marry her and don’t want to break up, I’ve decided to leave my house and figure it out on my own. \n\nI would be hurting my parents immensely and it’s possible they’ll never forgive me. But is their pain and resentment worth my independence? WIBTA for sacrificing my family and their financial support for a 3-year long girlfriend and a shot at independence? ######","completion":" NTA but I'm going to give it to you straight: This sub is mostly westerners with liberal western values, so you're only really going to get that perspective here and they'll all tell you that it's your life to live. If you asked most conservative Muslims you'd probably be told that you need to respect your parents and\/or do as God commands. They'd probably call you the asshole. As the American son of Pakistani immigrants, you have a foot in both worlds and in this instance they are in direct conflict. It's a shame that your parents refuse to accept that by deciding to live in America, they would end up with a son who has many American values.\n\n>But is their pain and resentment worth my independence? WIBTA for sacrificing my family and their financial support for a 3-year long girlfriend and a shot at independence?\n\nNo you would not be the asshole, but you're in for a lot of pain regardless of what you choose. No one can answer for you which is the right decision. I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA but I'd look into getting her to a psychologist of some sort ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for refusing to take my husbands last name but keeping my ex husbands?\n\nMy husband and I have been together for five years, married for 2.5. When we got married I did not take his last name. I was up front with him and told him prior to us getting married that I would not be changing my last name. In my mind, I built an almost 20 year career, graduated with two degrees and raised my daughter with my last name. I was a single mother for eight years before I met him, and I have the same last name as my daughter. \n\nTo compromise, I changed my name on Facebook to his so most people think I did change it (even some family members). Professionally and financially I still go by my ex husbands last name. (We share a daughter who looks nothing like me, so part of the reason I kept his last name after our divorce is being of custodial reasons. The other part is because I was already ten plus years into my career with his last name. We married when I was 18.)\n\nMy husband is all sorts of pissy about it. But today he got even more mad because my mother called me by my maiden name. I corrected her and said “no, my name is x.” (My legal name, not his last name which I use on Facebook). He is so mad right now that he is refusing to speak to me.\n\nAm I the asshole here? I was up front about my desire to not change my last name. It’s so frustrating to me because he says that I have an “awful mindset” about this. I feel like being this upset about it means he doesn’t care about my identity and sees me as a possession. I feel like a possession to him. We have joint accounts, have bought a home together, and have a son who has his last name (and coincidentally is the spitting image of me). ######","completion":" NTA but I understand why your current husband is pissed. Nothing says commitment like a loyalty to an ex...\n\nPs. I'm being sarcastic on purpose as I suspct your husbands feelings are hurt, he might feel like you're not 100% commited to your current relationship. All your reasons make perfect rational sense; however we're talking about feelings and those don't always make sense. I'm sure he understands why interlectally but deep down may just wants you to want to do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been paying for my netflix account for about 8 years. In that time, I've let my dad use my netflix account. I told my dad a couple months ago I was thinking about cancelling my netflix account since I havent used it in months. (Me and my S.O always watch netflix together and use his account). My dad said \"do what you gotta do\". I cancelled it and he texted me saying he wants to take over my account and change everything over to him. I told him he should just start his own Netflix account. Theres only a couple days left on my Netflix account, and I get an email stating the billing had been updated. I attempt to log in and it states my email is not associated with any account(he changed the email too). On one hand, I understand it's just a netflix account and he didnt want to lose everything he watched or his profile, but I also had a profile I didnt want to lose. It would be there if I ever started my account again which is my right since I've paid for it for 8 years. Also, I feel like its rude he did it when I asked him not to. I called Netflix and they said theres nothing they can do. So, AITA? \n\nTldr: cancelled Netflix account that I've been paying for. My dad asked to take over my account and I said no and he did anyway. \n\n(Sorry for formatting. On mobile) ######","completion":" NTA but I think you need to call netflix. I had someone log into my acct and change the email and I had no issue getting it back under my control. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have pretty horrendous eyesight. Well, I used to, because I got LASIK pretty recently. Because of this, I have a habit of leaning closer to the TV or laptop screen or whatever while I’m watching TV. When I say leaning I’m just sitting straight upwards and not leaning back into the couch or bed or whatever. Even after my surgery I haven’t lost the habit and I just lean in when I get really into the show. Idk why but it’s always bothered her. First she said that my posture was bad but when I pointed out to her that my posture is great (by virtue of me sitting with my back straight upwards) and the fact that hers is far worse than mine (her back is curved because of this), she backed off of that excuse. But then she never let go of the issue. For the life of me I don’t know why she has such a problem with it. I should also note that I’ve asked her if I’m blocking her from the screen and she says that I don’t. But she just. Won’t. Stop. It’s gotten worse and more frequent because we’re at home more now and we spend a lot of our time watching Netflix together. I’ve asked her to please stop, I’m doing nothing wrong, etc etc.\n\nSo today she was doing it again. I asked her to stop and she does for a while. Then I get up to pee and when I come back she grips my shoulder and pulls me backwards and at this point I can’t help myself and yell at her to leave me alone and eff off and I don’t know why it bothers you so much that I’m sitting straight up or leaning forward, it’s not hurting either me or you. She actually burst into tears and said she’s going for a walk and some fresh air. She hasn’t been back for a while and now I’m getting a bit worried. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA but I think you both need to sit down and talk about why it really bothers her so much. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said \"yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care\". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said \"go ahead I don't give a fuck\" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)\nat which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######","completion":" NTA but I really hope you are a troll. Your dad is foul. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m not sure if I’m being petty or not, but my BFs Dad keeps calling me by my BFs ex girlfriend’s name. Our names are kinda similar (think Alex and Alexandria) but not really. My name is the shorter one, Alex. But he keeps calling me “Alexandria.” It really bothers me. But he’s kind of an aggressive, “I’m always right,” kind of guy who doesn’t like being corrected. But I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and have known him and his family for 3 years. \n\nWIBTA if I corrected him every time he got my name wrong? ######","completion":" NTA but I feel like your boyfriend should be stepping in. It's his family. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad and step-mom have been married for 15 years. I am his youngest child and we were adults when he got married. \n\nWe have little to do with my step-moms family, they made it clear we weren’t family and wanted nothing to do with us, so we have no contact with them and this works for all of us. \n\nLast night my dad called me and was upset. My stepsister and her boyfriend got into an argument and the boyfriend filed a police report. They have a two year old daughter and I am extremely concerned for her safety as this is not the first time this has happened. \n\nI have no proof the baby is in danger, only what I have been told from my dad. I am still really concerned and think that it is not safe for the baby to be there in that house. I also live 2,000 miles away from my stepsister and have no contact with her. \n\nWITBA if I contacted child welfare and reported this anonymously? ######","completion":" NTA but I don't know that child welfare can do much more given the police are involved and you don't know anything specific.  Dad should be doing to follow up, so I would talk to him. ######"}
{"prompt":"I met Harry when I was 20, he was 19 and my sister was 24.\n\nWe dated for maybe 4months before I introduced him to my family, 2 years into the relationship we broke up because we wanted different things in life.\n\n(He didn’t want children and I did)  I still had feelings for him then.\n\nA year later my sister told me she was seeing Harry, they’d only started dating but she felt I needed to know,  I told her I wasn’t ok with it and after a huge argument she offered to break up with him.\n\nThey stayed together and have been together for 4years now, they’re even expecting a daughter in August.\n \n\nMy sister invited me to her wedding (December) and asked me to be maid of honour, I refused because I can’t believe she expects me to celebrate her relationship to my ex- she knew I wasn’t ok with it and still went ahead with their relationship.\n\nWhen I told her I wasn’t ok with it and wouldn’t\/couldn’t accept their relationship it turned into this huge thing because since she’s having a child with him now and they’re getting married I need to move on and be accepting (I quote “don’t be happy just accept it”) our relationship was years ago and it’s time to move on.\n\nI don’t care about Harry (I kinda do but barely) but the fact she was willing to hurt me like that and make a move on my ex when she knew I wasn’t ok with it?\n\nHarry’s even reached out and apologised to me! I still don’t want to attend their wedding.\n\nMy parents think I need to move on and accept it because my sister is devastated that I won’t attend and that she’s happy now, apparently Harry’s a great dad to her son and he’s even planning on adopting her son when they’re married.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA but I do think part of why you're so mad isn't getting addressed. \nYou mention that you \"kinda\" care about him. You two broke up over him not wanting children. So you moved on with the idea that he totally thought you were his ideal woman just.....wouldn't want children and you did. \nAnd now you're having to consider that for him, it was never about not wanting children, it was that he didn't want them with *you*. You're feeling judged and misled. And you don't even get to acknowledge that, mourn it, and then move on. He's AROUND. Your sister kept him in your world where you have to watch it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.\nThe sad fact is your sister is never going to be one of those awesome family members that stands by you no matter what. She's one of the kind that will step on you if you're in her way. I hope you can work through this and get to a calm, even if detached place with her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway.\n\nSo I proposed to my girlfriend beginning of this year. We originally planned to get married this September, but that has obviously been pushed back to next year.\n\nMy sister also got engaged last year and her and her fiancé were 100% set to have an April wedding before the pandemic shut everything down. However tragedy struck and her fiancé suddenly passed away this June (Covid death). It has been an extremely tough time for all of us in the family. My sister has been hospitalized on and off for harmful thoughts over the past month and we are all doing our best to support her. \n\nAnyways, now I am fighting with my fiancée because I’m “putting my foot down” so to speak on her latest decision to change our wedding venue to where my sister originally planned hers. My sister had planned to have her wedding at a famous country estate\/mansion near where we live.\n\nMy fiancée recently told me that she contacted the estate out of curiosity and found out they have openings early next year so she now wants to have our wedding there instead. She visited the place and fell in love and says it’s actually her dream venue. I basically said absolutely not, are you insane? That would be incredibly traumatic for everyone in my family (esp my mom and sisters who already helped my sister and BIL plan their wedding at that exact location). \n\nMy fiancée won’t budge and she’s furious I’m not seeing things from her side. She says our wedding could be like a “beautiful tribute” to my sister’s loss but I don’t think anyone would see it that way. More than likely people will think we stole my sister’s wedding ideas and are forcing her to attend out of cruelty. AITA for telling my fiancée her dream venue is an absolute no-go? ######","completion":" NTA but I am really trying to understand how your fiancée could possibly see that as a “beautiful tribute” for your sister.\n\n“Oh remember that beautiful wedding you were excited to share with the love of your life? Well now that your life’s fallen apart, you get to see someone else have it! *You’re welcome*.” ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting for a friend without Reddit:\n\nI recently attended my child's wedding. His father and I split many years ago when he had an affair and got another woman pregnant. My ex husband has since passed away.\n\nMy child has a relationship with this half sibling and the kids that came after them. They attended the wedding. \n\nAITA for not acknowledging them? Another wedding guest called me out for not speaking to them. I don't speak to them because I simply have no relationship with them (didn't recognise them until pointed out) and it is a painful chapter in my life. \n\nNot that I wish them any ill will but I don't care to make small talk with my ex husband's kids. They are adults now and probably also don't want to make small talk with me either. This wedding guest seemed to think I was being rude. \n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA but I am inclined to call the person who said something to you an asshole. You did the appropriate, and normal thing. It would have been weird if you had cozied up to them at the wedding. It possibly could have even caused drama between you, your ex, and his current wife. Why on Earth would someone call you rude. ######"}
{"prompt":"When i was young my mom and dad divorced. Soon after my dad married a new woman. Ever since my step mother entered my life its been hell. Every time i do something a 8yr would do i would get beat. \n\nI  Had my child in September 2019.  every one Saw him expect for my stepmother. Every day she texts me saying let me see him all i do is leave her on read. Every one is telling me to let her see him but im afraid that she will treat him the same way she treated me. AITA ######","completion":" NTA but I also think you should be putting equal blame on your father for allowing that woman into your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"So today, I got in the car from work, and brought with me, some cotton candy grapes. I offer my fiancé to try one and he refuses. He seems bothered and he said he’s nauseous because of the smell of the grapes, and my grape breath. He says they smell gross and that he can’t handle the smell. \n\nHe never eats fruits or vegetables. He won’t eat the onions in French onion soup, the carrots and peas in stir fry, he’ll pick the onions and pickles off of his burgers, he purposely avoids food with diced tomatoes, he picked off all the green onions off of orange chicken I made....don’t even go into tomatoes. He hates pineapples, strawberries, lychees, bananas, mangos, peaches, plums...\n\nHe won’t even try fruits or vegetables. He’s never had broccoli, asparagus, kale, cabbage etc etc. Adding insult to injury he now weighs 323 lbs and is 5’11”. Were both 19. I’m chubby but god damned at least I eat some plants. \n\nHe kisses me again after the flavor is out of my mouth, and says sorry he can’t handle fruits or vegetables. \n\nAITA for eating grapes around my fiancé? ######","completion":" NTA but how long until his lifestyle becomes a medical emergency? ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my (30M) sister (19F) has always been the golden child in my dads eyes, my parents  adopted me thinking that they wouldn't have biological parents, they split when I was 10 and my father went on to have my sister.\n\nI'll give her this, she was very intelligent basically straight As based on my dads bragging.\n\nWell, my dad expected her to be a doctor or something like that- very high expectations, my dad for the past year has been paying her rent while she goes college, even though she works.\n\nI called my dad yesterday when he let me know how disappointed he was in my sister...turns out she's pregnant and has no immediate plans on continuing with her education! Cherry on top? The father of the  baby is  only three years younger than me.\n\nI'm not happy about my sisters situation, I do not approve of her relationship.\n\nWell, I laughed when I found out, because the pressure my father has put on her for the past 19 years (cheerleading, track, countless diets to keep her skinny, making her give up her dream of being a vet) finally made her crack and I find it hilarious that he doesnt see **he did it to her** and he thinks he has the right to say he's disappointed?\n\nMy father, however, took this as me laughing at my sister but when I explained no- I'm laughing at him, it made things so much worse.\n\nMy stepmother has been texting me  non stop about how I hurt my father, how he just wanted to vent and as family I should support and respect him and even if I didn't it was just a genuinely dickish move to laugh.\n\n\nAITA?\n\n**ThrowRa since I use my normal account frequently** ######","completion":" NTA but how about you reach out to your sister, sounds like she could use your support right now, unlike your dad. ######"}
{"prompt":"It's always been an unspoken rule at my home that if someone buys a console everyone could use it (though the person who got it could choose where to put it and always had a right to use it first if they wanted to). Everyone agreed with that and it was really useful because we'd be able to have a wider array of consoles. \n\nSometimes we'd buy games with everyone's money if everyone wanted to play that specific game. A few months back, we did that, but since the digital version was less expensive we downloaded it on my brother's Switch (I also have one, but therefore can't play it on my own Switch). I also got a PS4 that I bought with my own money that I got from working part-time.\n\nMy brother has been the one who used it the most. He uses it so much that there are often times where I wait an entire evening only to realise that it's too late to play anymore. Over the last weeks I've asked him several times if I could play that game we had bought on his Switch and he just told me to play something else. \n\nI'm honestly pretty frustrated by his attitude and want to tell him to no longer touch my PS4. However I feel like it would be a pretty asshole-ish move to single him out. \n\nWIBTA if I told him that ? \n\nWhen I asked for a ######","completion":" NTA but how about work out a rota system that gives them some time to play it but reflects that you bought it yourself. If they don't abide by that you can go further... ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it. \n\nNow, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni. \n\nAs for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified. \n\nWhen I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough. \n\nSo, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######","completion":" NTA but hide your keys, and put your mum on an info diet. Stop telling her things she might twist against you. If she keeps calling wellness checks on you, go to the police about it. There have been a few posts about mothers calling excessive wellness checks on their kids over at r\/legaladvice and they all say go to the police, and in some cases you could even press harassment charges. \n\nYou need to pull yourself out of the FOG (doing things out of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt)\n\nThe wiki over at r\/justnomil and r\/justnofamily could be helpful to you as well.\n\nTherapy is also always a good idea. You need to live your own life, not one controlled by your mum ######"}
{"prompt":"I often go the local park to study\/read a book etc. There’s this apartment complex near the park and people living there have a direct view of the park.  \n\nYesterday I was chillin when this woman who lives in the apartment came up to me. She asked me if I could move to another spot. I asked her why and she said that I was “distracting” her husband. I was confused and at first didn’t even understand what she meant by that. She was SUPER vague but clarified that her husband does “*what men do*” and that I should go somewhere else. \n\nSo at this point I was pretty disgusted. I replied that I wouldn’t move and put my headphones on again. She got very irritated and said that I should respect other people’s wishes and “do the right thing”. Then she said that I come to the park too often and that I should consider other people’s marriage. Apparently she discussed this with other women in the apartment and they agree with her. \n\nI told her that I don’t care about anybody’s marriage and that her husband is probably a porn addict if he can’t handle the sight of a female stranger in public. \n\nWell that clearly pissed her off because she was seething with anger. She said that her husband doesn’t watch porn and called me a “sick, twisted little girl” for even suggesting that. I told her that she was making me really uncomfortable but she was STILL attacking me over the porn addict comment. She kept repeating that he doesn’t watch porn &amp; that he’s not interested in me and not to flatter myself. \n\nAfterwards she left but not before telling me that I will “face consequences” sooner or later. \n\nI told my friend about it and she thinks I’m an AH for accusing the woman’s husband of being a porn addict. She said that it was very disrespectful and that she understands why the woman got so upset. And she added that I shouldn’t upset a crazy person since I can’t predict what she might do.\n\nAm I the AH here? ######","completion":" NTA but here's some advice if it happens again. Freak out big time. \"what? you husband is spying on me? is he a stalker? How often has this been going on? Which apartment do you live in? I need to know for when I file a police report. OMG! I'm so freaked out right now. I've never been stalked before. Does he have a history of this? Does he stare at me every time I come to this park? Is he dangerous? I better get a restraining order. Is he a registered sex offender? Oh my God, I feel so gross right now. Can I get you name and address for my police report?\" Fake hyperventilate...more \"oh my God, Oh my God!!!\"\n\n\nEdit: Thanks for the upvotes and awards! ######"}
{"prompt":"LTL\/FTP, throwaway acc cos family members know my main and I don't need the stress.\n\nMy husband and I are choosing baby names. We both have Scottish and Irish heritage -- several family members either having an anglicized version of a Scottish\/Irish first name or surname. \n\nWe are strongly considering giving our child a Gaelic name. Our top three contenders if it's a girl are Saoirse, Ealasaid, and Marsaili. Two of the boys names we like are less difficult for an English speaker to pronounce -- Eamon and Seòras -- but the other one, Eoghan, might confuse some people. \n\nI DO strongly believe we should give them an English-friendly middle name, think Ealasaid Rose (we haven't gotten that far yet lol), so that they have another name to fall back on if they need it. Husband is on board with this.\n\nMy MIL and my sister, however, think that this would be horribly cruel even with the middle name thing and insist we HAVE TO give them a \"normal\" first name -- Elizabeth instead of Ealasaid, for example. Neither me nor my husband like the way Elizabeth sounds (nor any of its diminutives), and the same goes for Sarah instead of Saoirse and Marjory instead of Marsaili (Marge just makes me think of the Simpsons). The same goes for the boy's names.\n\nMIL has gone so far as to say she will call them by the English equivalent and will make Husband's younger siblings do the same. I told her that's a one-way ticket to No Visits Town, which she handled as well as you'd imagine.\n\nSo, WWBTA for giving our baby a Gaelic name? ######","completion":" NTA but get ready to spend your kids life correcting people, and get ready to possibly have your kid decide to go by the English equivalent once they get to school, so I would make sure you are ok with the English equivalent. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sisters plays sports. Whenever she gets home from a game or practice she just comes in and lays on the couch for awhile. She never showers immediately. That’s a personal choice. The problem is that for days afterwards when you sit where she was sitting or attempt to use the blanket she did, it smells like straight BO. IMO if she’s not going to be hygienic and shower afterwards, she shouldn’t be allowed to be on the couch. Obviously, I’m not talking about sitting down to take her shoes off or anything, I mean for a decent amount of time. If she wants to lay or sit on her bed and blankets and they smell like BO, fine, go ahead. I just don’t think it’s fair that we all have to sit somewhere that is covered in her dry sweat and odors. It’s a shared space. I think I may be the asshole for asking her because it might come off as bossy or over controlling. I’m worried it’s not actually a big enough deal to bring up. I just think it’s unhygienic and inconsiderate. ######","completion":" NTA but get a large blanket and drape the couch. That’s what I do with a sweaty husband and kids. It’s easy to wash and the couch remains less smelly. \n\nI would talk to you parents about it so they can address it thiugh ######"}
{"prompt":"I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ######","completion":" NTA but for conflict avoidance I'd fudge and say you needed to log in on your phone so hit the device maximum ######"}
{"prompt":"To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it. \n\nIn contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.\n\nwhenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later. \n\nAm I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######","completion":" NTA but dont talk avout your savings and salary anymore with your family. They dont understand. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, but english is not my mother tongue)\n\nSo... Our new neighbors that are from China have just moved to the flat in front of us and invited my family and I to have a wonderful dinner to get acquaintance and to eat some of their traditional food after my dad gave them a fruit basket as a “welcome-gift” with our local fruits... My sister didn’t went because “she doesn’t like asians, and its because of them that we have pollution, illnesses, and overpopulation”, and the typical racist speech of a closed minded person... once we ate dinner and had a good time, they gave us a dish called “mantou” with different shapes and forms... i recall one of them was with the shape of a flower and a piggy...! And also some Sake.... My mom, dad and I were so eager and happy to eat them the morning after and to share it with my sister...and my grandparents that were gonna visit us the day after...\n\nOnce we got home and told her what they gave us... She proceed to DROP THE DISHES AND THE DRINK IN THE TRASH...! Saying “oh. I dont want any of those things here in the house”, and a bunch of racial slurs i don’t wanna mention here... i got so mad and called her an entitled racist bitch. How dare she do that to people who she doesn’t even know and that’s giving us food as a gift...! Later my mom heard that and started to takes sides with my sister, that I shouldn’t have called her that and that “she haves her reasons”. We had a big argument after that and told me to “apologize” to my sister for what i said. But i told my mom that i am not apologizing until my sister personally apologized to our neighbors explaining what she did. Then my mom told me that i am a selfish brother, that i don’t care about my sisters feelings... so AITA?\n\nEdit: no... we didn’t had this dinner meanwhile the  pand. emic happens, this dinner happened a month ago. While here in my country (ecuador) we were with zero cases of it.!! (Just explaining) ######","completion":" Nta but don't tell the neighbours, they don't know what she did and it  will only hurt them ######"}
{"prompt":"So when I moved in with my roommate it was agreed that everything would be split 50\/50, rent, utilities all that. So he decided in the middle of the lease that he wanted to move out and buy a house with his gf. While we had agreed to wait until the end of the lease, two days after that conversation he announced he put a deposit down and was going to move out. This meant breaking the lease and having to pay a the penalty. While i did get blindsided I agreed that i would pay half of the fee in an effort to save what is left of our friendship of 3 years. On top of the penalty we got charged damages that were all in his bedroom because of his cats. I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for damages in his room as I wouldn’t expect him to pay for damages in mine. Now he is acting like I broke the 50\/50 agreement and has an attitude because I won’t pay for his damages. Let me tell you the room is gonna have some major deep cleaning done before they can rent to apartment again. We are talking hundreds of dollars of work that needs to be done. Meanwhile I have been fronting money for the utilities, he still owes me them for May and is saying that he won’t pay for the June utilities because he moved out. AITA for not paying for damages in my exroomates bedroom? ######","completion":" NTA but don't expect to keep your roommate as a friend after, he's an asshole ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm using a throwaway because my husband knows my main and my grammar maybe bad because I'm extremely upset \n\n\nSo background info i live next door to my in laws there's been some issues but my husband works with his dad and my daughter (4) thinks were her grandparents walk the sun shines so it's not all bad that's until my SIL and her son (7) moved in with her parents because she's having marriage problems rn \n\nI'm gonna be honest the kid is a bully and a spoiled brat I don't wanna go into too much details because of the rules but my poor kid life has been miserable since he came she'll literally be playing in her own backyard minding her business when he'll start being nasty to her so obviously when she starts crying her nana,aunt and uncles will tell her it's her fault in some way and call her a cry baby. Her aunt will make a snarky remark at how my daughter is a trouble maker or laugh it off with the whole \"Boys will be boys\" than rub her stomach and say the kids are giving her blood pressure \n\nMy SIL has been just as bad yelling at her for nothing, banning her for playing with her own toys because it might make her son jealous than throwing a fit if my daughter looks at her kids stuff. She's always been an attention seeker she made my wedding about her we couldn't post a wedding picture because she was going through \"issues\" with her husband even tho she's 30 her mom treats her like a baby \n\nMy husband has been no help he says she's having problems and I should cut her some slack because she's 3 months pregnant even tho I his wife is due to give birth in two weeks!! \n\nI'm sick of everyone enabling her and treating her like a child So WIBTA if I confronted her about her shitty behaviour or just banned all in laws from my home till their attitude changes ######","completion":" NTA but don't bother confronting your in laws or your SIL.  Just say they shouldn't come over to your home and keep your daughter away from them.\n\nAnd probably consider exactly how much of this is a problem with your husband not supporting you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS. \n\nMy boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.\n\nWhen he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.\n \nThe reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.\n\nHe said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush. \n\nEither way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants. \n\nAnyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA but damn his masculinity is literally so fragile that it is challenged by a pink tooth brush? That is fabregé egg levels of fragile. ######"}
{"prompt":"The weather's finally starting to get good again and I'm bored out of my freaking mind stuck at home. At the very least I've figured I can get a quick tan on and enjoy the sun. We're lucky to have a backyard and a small jacuzzi, and I've taken full advantage of both aspects in the last few days. I hate tan lines, and so does my husband, so I happen to spend time in various states of undress when I'm getting my sun on.\n\nWhen chatting with the neighborhood moms, I happened to say I loved that I could sunbathe outside now with a drink and I've got a perfectly good excuse to do it, which is fresh air and getting out of the house. A luxury in these times, I know.\n\nAlmost immediately I got a snide remark from one of them suggesting that I hopefully have enough sense to do it \"with decency\" because all the neighborhood kids are now indoors and my backyard might not be as private as I think. Like wtf! She even had the gall to suggest I was setting a bad example for my teenage daughter. Like yikes.\n\nI'm this close to sending out a blast on the group passive aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times.\n\nAITA here or is my anger justified? ######","completion":" NTA but be wary. There was a post on here yesterday in which OP's dad was totally fine with letting his teenage son sit at the attic window watching the neighbor gal sunbathe in her backyard. ######"}
{"prompt":"So... my MIL who is temporarily wheelchair bound came to live with us 4 weeks ago to recover from surgery. She is usually a heavy smoker. I do not smoke and I hate it with a passion. Her health means she should not be smoking at all. I am taking her to all her appointments and providing food and care etc. Basically anything she needs I do and buy. So tonight I come home from work and I can smell stale  cigarettes. The room she is occupying (my teenage daughter's room which she gave up and is bunking with her much younger sisters) has French doors that so think she is opening up thinking the smell will 'blow away' when all it does is blow straight back I to the house. I had suspected she was smoking outside when I'm at work which is just stupid because she is screwing up her recovery which means longer with me and more appointments for me to take her to but now smoking inside... my house in my daughter's room... and she knows I hate it. Knowing there is no way I would say that is okay. Am I the asshole for being so fucking angry that I want her to get out of my house. Wheelchair or no wheelchair. If she can't respect the way I live then she shouldn't be in my house. So what are your opinions please? I'm so mad. ######","completion":" NTA but ask her to stop first with the consequence that she must leave if she continues. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a suburban subdivision, it's a relatively wealthy area and people can be a little uptight about their houses and be kind of busy bodies.\n\nI just graduated high school and am living with my parents over the summer until college. My parents and brother fight a lot. With each other in different combinations, or with all three of them. They are all very hot tempered and all can be pretty crazy and escalate things to a bad degree. It sucks being quarantined with them. Sometimes they even yell late into the night or early in the morning so I don't get sleep. Like they do not know how to shelve something for later, if they have a disagreement starting around midnight they will stay up and yell for literally hours\n\nNot to mention my brother got a girl pregnant and she and the baby are over more often than not recently. He and she don't get along well, and the baby cries like babies do. So that's just another reason I can't get any sleep sometimes\n\nI've taken to driving my car elsewhere in the neighborhood and sleeping in the back. My car's back seats fold down flat and I put a matress and blankets in there. \n\nIt's legal for me to park in the streets of the subdivision, I have a residential parking pass. And it's not against the law to sleep in the car where I live. But some of my neighbors have gotten mad at me over it. Five different people, because I park in a different place every time, have told me that I can't do it. Some of the reasons they give is that I am parking too close to their houses, that it is not safe for a young lady to do this, that it makes their families uncomfortable to have a person in a strange car outside at night.\n\nI've told them that I have the parking permit that lets me park there and I'm not doing anything but sleeping. And they're not really been okay with that. Saying that I still can't be doing that.\n\nWIBTA if I still sometimes took naps or slept in my car in my neighborhood? ######","completion":" NTA but as a paranoid person, I can understand why they may be a bit weirded out by it. Never the less, you gotta do what you gotta do. Check to make sure that it's legal in your county \/ city: some may have laws about sleeping \/ parking overnight while not on a lot.\n\nEven in quarantine, you should ask a friend or possible other close relative to stay with for awhile. Sleeping in your car is not a long term solution and it sound like your home situation is not going to get any better any time soon.\n\nGood luck and stay safe out there. ######"}
{"prompt":"So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.\n\nIt's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.\n\nI hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.\n\nWIBIA?\n\nAlso I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ######","completion":" NTA but also that sounds hilarious to see.\n\nI'm glad you've got a sense of humour. If anyone says anything or that the sperm donor has an issue you should invite him to sit down and discuss it... See how he reacts to that ha! ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting from a throwaway. So I (21F) live with my  roommate “Bethany” (19F). Bethany is an extremely religious Christian and I’m an atheist. She has hung up tons of Bible verse\/Christian decorations in the shared spaces of our apartment. The other week I asked if she could keep them out of the common areas, as I’m an atheist and have had some trauma with organized religion growing up and would rather not see reminders of that every day. Bethany took this as a evidence that she’s being persecuted for her faith, and refused to take anything down. \n\nWe’re now pretty much stuck in the apartment together because of coronavirus, and it’s getting worse. Yesterday she overheard me saying some sexy things on FaceTime with my girlfriend (I was in my room) and later passive aggressively made a comment about how God can “heal” all sorts of “sinners.” I didn’t even know what to say. She left to go get groceries and while she was gone I printed out pictures of Satan, pentagrams, etc. and hung them all over the common spaces. When she came back she freaked out, started crying and accused me of bringing demons into the apartment. \n\nI feel bad for making her cry and causing more tension, but I also feel like it’s warranted after how pushy and homophobic she’s been. \n\n(I signed a lease for a new apartment with a more compatible roommate but that doesn’t start until August, so I have to tough out the next few months here.) ######","completion":" NTA but a better option is to print out bible verses that are awful and replace hers slowly.\n\nExample:\n\"And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me; Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins. And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.\" (Leviticus 26:27–29 King James Version) ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nI (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.\n\nam i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######","completion":" NTA Bro. So much NTA. My dad wasn't at my wedding and neither were any of my husbands family. You just need people there that make you happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my sister (both 17, I'm her brother) made an agreement one day when my parents weren't home. I'd invite whatever friend I have that my sister thinks is the hottest, and she'd invite whatever friend of her's that I think is the hottest. Then we'd all go skiny dipping. It was mostly so we could see someone we each find hot naked, and possibly we'd each hook up with that person after. \n\n\nWe invited them over, all went skiny dipping, and then got out. She hooked up with my friend and I hooked up with her friend in each of our bedrooms. My sister is open with her mom about sexuality so she told my mom all of this. My mom was cool with it until she realized me and my sister went skiny dipping together. Our parents think its very weird and inappropriate for me and my sister to skiny dip together and see each other naked. \n\n\nNeither of us cared and we focused on the other people in the pool. My parents are really mad, but only because me and my sister skiny dipped with each other and were nude in front of each other. ######","completion":" NTA bit weird but as long as everyone was okay with it, its acceptable. ######"}
{"prompt":"To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me. \n\nSo I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early. \n\nHe continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a \"happy birthday\" before he settled into grumpy mode.\n\nAITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######","completion":" NTA birthday or not there was no reason to yell and the alarm was going off anyway he should set his alarm to when HE wants to wake. And I suggest you not wake him next time. ######"}
{"prompt":"2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage\/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.\n\nMy friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates. \n\nThe problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.\n\nSofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA better have someone check now and then. She's the type to break in and squat ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin, who we will call Lia, is from America, her mother married my uncle, yeah yeah. Shes a cousin now. She's 14. And shes obsessed with Asian culture. She often talks about Korean culture and all she listens to is Kpop. She doesn't really respect me or my family (Important: we're from Thailand). She often asks me about Korean music (Which I don't listen to) and i'm beginning to think she thinks I'M Korean? She gets excited when I talk to her and asks about Korean culture and tells me little \"facts\" about Korea. Last night I was calling her, and she went on and on about Korea, I barely spoke at all. Eventually I asked her if we could talk about something else, she ignored me. I had a major headache and snapped at her, I told her to move on with her unhealthy obsession. She got choked up and ended the call and I've been feeling guilty all day. Her Mother sent a long text about how I \"hurt her\" and should \"mind my own business\". AITA? ######","completion":" NTA because you’re not an asshole for not wanting her to be ignorant and ask random Asian people about Korea when they literally don’t live there, have never lived there, or aren’t Korean ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents (60M and 58F) went camping over the weekend, so they asked me (27M) to housesit while they were away. Basically, I just had to water the houseplants, make sure everything was in order, and they told me to make myself comfortable. My parents also have a sweet outdoor pool. The weather was especially nice on Saturday, so I decided I’d take a dip in the pool. I forgot to bring my swimsuit and I didn’t feel like dealing with the traffic just to go back to my place to get it, so I ended up skinny dipping. My parents are pretty chill, so i didn’t think it would be a problem. The rest of the weekend went by pretty quickly and it was calm and uneventful. I left on Monday and my parents seemed satisfied with the state of the house. \n\nI got a call on Tuesday from my mom saying that her neighbors left an angry note in her mailbox, because apparently they have windows overlooking the pool and the neighbors kids “saw a man swimming with no clothes on.” The neighbors accused me of deliberately exposing myself to children and potentially traumatizing them. My mom told me that she wasn’t bothered by me skinny dipping, but she said that she doesn’t want her neighbors on her back and told me not to do it in the future. However, I’m not convinced I did anything wrong and maybe those neighbors should use this to teach their kids why snooping is wrong. So Reddit, what do you think? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA because you didn’t know they were watching you but you WBTA if you did it again after your mom said not to. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA because you did the smart thing of asking to rearrange, not cancel, which shows that you like her idea just not the timing.  Of course she's upset.  She wanted to do something nice for you and, let's be honest, she's probably not quite so thrilled about spending the day drinking beer and playing Runescape. The moral of the story is don't book weekends away as a surprise. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there  as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.\n\nUnfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.\n\nI asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.\n\nWhen we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ######","completion":" NTA because WOAH?! an at home piercing gun?!!! it’s dangerous to pierce any part of your cartilage with a gun and 5 at once is a LOT for an 8 year old????? Five piercings needs VERY frequent cleaning for at least three months!! and she might have sleeping troubles now due to the soreness!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"Sorry for eventual errors: English is not my first language.\n\nI (16F) live with my parents and my older sister (20F). I'm an average looking person: I'm tall 160cm, and my weight is 52 Kg (so, pretty normal: I'm not overweight -important to the story-), I have dark and curly hair, I mostly wear band shirts or movie shirts, and don't really wear makeup, except for eyeliner, and black lipstick sometimes.\n\nAnyway, for the past 5 years, my mother always criticized everything I did with my appearance: she thinks my curly hair is ugly (... it's just my natural hair, and I love it), she thinks I don't wear enough makeup, she thinks I should dress more ladylike (hey, my Rammstein T-Shirt is as ladylike as I want it to be), etc...\n\nThe fact is, the thing she has criticized the most, is my weight. She always tells me how I should improve myself by, well, being the exact opposite of who I am, but she also wants me to exercise, so I can lose weight, because she thinks I'm too fat and that no one will like me if I keep being like this (my boyfriend strongly disagrees however). \n\nBut I DON'T WANT to lose weight, or modify my appearance in any way. It took years to me to love me as who I am. I love my hair, I love my face, I love my body and I love my weight (I actually gained more confidence in my appearance after gaining a little more weight, since I was 12).\n\nI tried to talk to her about this many, many times, telling her I like myself as who I am, and I don't want to change, but everytime she just gets angry at me, saying that I am lazy and I just don't want to exercise, and that I should try and improve myself as any girl at my age. This has been going on for 4 years.\n\nSo AITA for not improving myself? ######","completion":" NTA Because what your mom says is self improving, may already be the way you want to be, so there's nothing to improve if you are happy how you are. I will say, wow... 52 kilo at 160cm? That's actually quite slim.... what does she want you to do, disappear?\n\nOn the exercise thing, though... exercise isn't just to lose weight, and you could still benefit from it, but her logic is super flawed. You do you, and it's okay to just say \" Ich hab' keine Lust\" to what other people say you should do ;) ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf and even her friends would make a big deal when we started dating that i never posted pictures of her as i don’t use social media often, and she would ask constantly why i never wanted to post any. I post pictures of her frequently now, post her on Snapchat stories every week, and she is in my profile picture for most social media’s. \n\nNow it’s been almost a year and she still has no pictures of me on any platform online and there’s little trace of me existing in her life online (even though we live together). I even asked her about it since she made such a big fuss that i post about her. \n\nI’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being upset that after this long there’s still no pictures of us together on her social media, especially since guys message and try to flirt with her all the time, even people who used to be my friends in highschool. ######","completion":" NTA because this is just strange. If social media matters to her enough to want to be on yours, it would only make sense that she would want such a major part of her life on hers. However, some things that might affect the situation:\n\nDoes she post frequently? Is it less\/more frequently than you? If you posted a snap story 3x a day and she posts 2x a month, it might make sense that she would see you leaving her out as more significant than her leaving you out.\n\nAlso, what sort of things does she tend to post? Does she have an aesthetic and primarily post pics that fit a color scheme, or just selfies, or just pictures of her outfits\/cooking\/crafts etc? If she primarily posts pictures of her homemade pies, it makes sense again that she might not have pics of you up. \n\nFinally, do people know you're together? Does she shut down flirters with \"nope i have a bf\" and \"op is my bf\"? do her family and friends know about\/hang out with you and her together?\n\nI think you're NTA and you need to have a discussion about this, but depending on the way each of you use social media, this could be a less serious\/deep situation than it seems. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m not a tech guy but I know more than anyone in my family and whenever there is a hiccup I am called to fix it.  I was full on asleep when my oldest brother yelled for me to wake up.  When I got out the WiFi wasn’t working and he basically demanded I fix it’s. I wasn’t looking for a fight and I just humored him.  \n\nIt wasn’t working and I got more annoyed then my other brother said I’m doing it all wrong and basically pushed me out of the way while he worked on it (he doesn’t know anything about tech) and then my other brother tried to fix it.  They both were struggling and were getting more mad, I told them to just let me deal with it.  But when they were both done trying they both BLAMED ME for not fixing it.  \n\n(This is where I maybe TA) I said “I WAS fixing it till you 2 assholes pushed me out of the fucking way.  You know what?  Fuck you both you always pull this shit.”  \n\nI then put on my shoes and went for a walk, when I got back the WiFi was working again.  But my brothers were all passive aggressive towards me which really pissed me off but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to start anything.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA because they woke you up for this. \n\nUnder other circumstances that might’ve been a bit harsh but you were being exceptionally nice, they had no right to wake you up to troubleshoot the internet. If it’s that urgent they can learn to fix it themselves. ######"}
{"prompt":"In my family, my mom does most of the chores and I (16F) am the one that helps her. Although I do enjoy doing some of them, it gets really annoying that my brother (18M) does literally nothing. He won't even grab a glass of water by himself.\n\nMy parents use as an excuse the fact that my brother is taking his exams this year that will determine where he goes for college. Still, he doesn't study all day, he actually takes long breaks and I don't think that 2-minute chores would waste his \"precious\" time. \n\nThe other day, during dinner, I made a \"sexist\" joke and my brother got mad because \"if a guy had said it, I would've been furious\". And as a matter of fact, some of my guy friends constantly make sexist jokes and I don't take them seriously, as long as they're funny and do not harm anyone in any way.\n\nAfter that, my father and my brother started calling me a \"typical feminist that wants equal rights, but not equal responsibilities\". They even said that I'd never work a job that is mostly targeted towards men. They continued to shame me and wouldn't let me speak, so I got mad and left the table. \n\nSome days later, I started talking during dinner about how I want to become a psychiatrist (I have for the past 2 years). They proceeded to tell me that it's not a job for a woman and that it's dangerous etc. I really don't understand how they're thinking.\n\nAnyway, WIBTA if I told them how I feel and that they're sexist and unfair? ######","completion":" NTA because they are. Can’t be a psychiatrist because you are a woman!?!? I have had 8 and 6 of those where women ######"}
{"prompt":"The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories. \n\nSo, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ######","completion":" Nta because that’s pretty controlling behaviour. Relationships are based on trust, and as far as I know you haven’t shown him you can’t be trusted so there is no reason for him to be like this. \n\nI don’t think it’s just insecurity. It’s controlling and extreme jealousy. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food. \n\nso i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.\n\nwhen the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off \"she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!\". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.\n\nlike.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?\n\naita for skipping the line? ######","completion":" NTA because that’s literally how using the app and ordering online is supposed to work. Most of these apps even quite literally use “skipping the line” as a reason why you should use them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My goal is to be debt free as soon as possible so I can save for retirement. I want to pay down debt. I’m 40f and my wife who is also 40 wants to send her kids\/my step kids to pretty expensive summer camps. We get absolutely no help from the kids father. I do pay for some stuff for the kids but I really don’t feel like I’m obligated to bend over backwards spending money on them. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA because summer camps shouldn't even be open right now. Also dropping a few thousand on costly summer camps when you have a pile of unsecured debt is really just not smart. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? Last night a girl I don't know very well posted on social media asking if anyone had a specific converter for connecting a DSLR camera to a computer for sale. Price was her big concern.  I happen to be a professional photographer\/videographer and I've made this type of connection hundreds of times with and without the converter she was looking. This is literally the field I worked in for 15+ years.  \n\nI sent her a message that pretty much just said \"Hey! That specific converter is a bit pricey, you might want to consider a couple free\/cheap alternatives that don't require a converter. I'd be happy to help you get it set up.\" She said that she didn't think it would work because of her camera and I just said \"I thought the same with mine too but that camera works just fine with this software\" and sent her a couple links to the software then thought nothing more of it. \n\nVery soon after I answered her questions she made a post that was definitely targeted at me about \"mansplaining\" technology to her. Am I the asshole here? Did I do something wrong? ######","completion":" NTA because she was asking for advice and you are an expert in that field. \"Mansplaining\" would be like if she posted how she's a professional photographer and you took it upon yourself to explain cameras to her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 18, and I’ve always considered myself to be an open-minded parent. She recently began discussing birth control, and even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I wanted to be supportive. I bought her condoms, at her request, and I thought that would be the end of it.\n\n\nA week ago, she asked me if I would make and accompany her to an appointment to discuss birth control options. I was raised in the era where AIDS was still a major threat, and I firmly believe that, unless you are in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms.\n\n\nI was hesitant, but I agreed in the condition that she promised she would also use conforms. She got really defensive and said that that choice wasn’t up to me. I told her that she was right, but that my involvement was my choice, and it was based on this condition. I said she was more than free to get birth control on her own.\n\n\nShe’s been really mad at me because of it. She says that her anxiety is too bad to make an appointment on her own. I still haven’t caved. AITA for staying firm in my decision? ######","completion":" NTA because she is old enough to go to the doctor herself. She should probably discuss her anxiety with a doctor as well. You aren't preventing her from going to the doctor, you just aren't babying her by doing it for her. She really needs to learn how to take care of her own health now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.\n\nMy aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a \"cool aunt\", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.\n\nBut as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy\/girl who is black, etc.)\n\nSo during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.\n\nNow, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.\n\nNow, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.\nI felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain. \n\nSo I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA because she does not have any sympathy with you and others ######"}
{"prompt":"I know I probably sound like a brat so I'll try to keep it short. My older sister passed away recently. She was heading to her dream university in the fall. She was very sweet and hard working. She's worked fast food for years and barely spent her money on anything besides gas and insurance. She was part of our state's future educators club with dreams of being a teacher since she was little. \n\nI'm 15 and I like writing but I don't know what my back up plan is. I do want to go to college. In the past, my parents have made me feel like a disappointment for not having things figured out like my sister did.\n\nWhen they announced that they were going to use her savings as a one time \"scholarship\" for a person in our area who wants to be teacher, I thought it was a sweet idea but I asked my parents if they wouldn't mind setting it aside for my future. My mother said that they felt that helping someone like my sister was the best way to honor her since \"I'm not even sure you could get into a college that would need that much money\". This felt like a slap in the face and I told her so. She said that she was just being realistic. ######","completion":" NTA because of your mother being a complete asshole with that comment. Doing a scholarship as a way to honor her memory isn't an inherently bad thing, but the way she handled telling you she wouldn't set it aside for you was absolutely horrid. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm a closeted trans guy. My family doesn't know and hopefully won't until I move out. My sister is slowly losing her hair to illness (for the sake of privacy I will leave out many details) and will eventually need a wig as it thins.\n\n My mother has asked me to grow out my hair so that we can get a wig made for my sister, as she is greying and my father has super thin hair. However, I'm extremely uncomfortable with growing out my hair, I've kept it short for the past 6 years of my life and  sensory issues make it hard for me to deal with hair when it can touch my ears. Keeping it short helps me feel more masculine as well.\n\nI feel really selfish for refusing because I've always been told that my hair is super nice, and that I should feel ashamed for getting rid of so much of my nice hair because my sister doesn't have that. AITA?\n\nEDIT\nthanks for the responses, apparently my sister wasn't consulted and said that it's cool if I'm unwilling to donate. thanks again all.\n\nEDIT NO.2\nAfter discussing the fact that it would take many years for my hair to reach the appropriate length and the fact I would be uncomfortable with having my hair so long my mother said it was alright and that she was thankful I thought about it either way. Thank you for all the help. 💙 ######","completion":" NTA because it wouldn't work anyway.  [We require a minimum of 8 ounces of hair in order to build a custom wig. Very rarely does one person have enough hair to make a wig. We find it usually takes 2-3 heads of hair in order to meet our weight requirement.](https:\/\/compassionatecreationswigdesign.com\/make-a-wig-from-your-own-hair\/#:~:text=The%20Process,to%20meet%20our%20weight%20requirement.) ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically what the title says but I will give you more details. Members of my family think AITA because I've requested that they only call me before 11am or after 8pm. Why? Because my boyfriend works 10pm to 7:00AM and I follow his schedule. I don't work because I am disabled and by following his schedule I get to spend more then an hour or 2 with him. And I don't want to turn my ringer on my phone off just in case there is an emergency. I don't get any other phone calls except from my family and a couple friends. Hell even my doctors offices have mainly followed my request. They only call me after 11AM if there something major they need to talk to me about. And my friends have all agreed to respect my request. However members of my family think I'm being completely unreasonable and think if they want to call me they can. And I said if they do I will just block their number because I don't want to disturb my boyfriend while he is asleep. I've told all of them there is absolutely nothing so important that can't wait until 8pm to call. And its not like any of them go to bed before then. I've told them to text me (I have my notifications on silent) asking me to call them when I wake up and I'll call them back. \n\nI'm just not seeing why this is such a horrible request. If I'm in the wrong can someone people point it out to me. Thanks ######","completion":" NTA because it seems like a reasonable request, but what about just putting the phone on vibrate and don't answer it? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.\n\nI continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit\/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.\n\nThen it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef\/chicken.\n\nI walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, \"Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. \" \n\nTo my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.\n\nTL;DR   Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ######","completion":" NTA because he shouldn't have been touching his butthole IN PUBLIC and then going to touch food. So gross. Ugh. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year, but I've had it on my mind for a while lately and want an outside opinion. Last year, I found out I was pregnant and my husband (29M) and I (26F) were ecstatic. An important thing to note is that while we hadn't told some friends and acquaintances about the pregnancy, our immediate families\/close friends were made aware after a couple weeks. One of the screenings came back with abnormal results, and after getting diagnostic tests done it was basically 99% confirmed that our baby had severe genetic disorders. If our child was born, it would almost definitely not be able to have a normal life and would need a full-time caretaker. My husband and I both work demanding jobs with long hours, and we live in a city with crazy rent prices that would make it unaffordable if one of us quit full-time for good. Also, as awful and selfish as it sounds, I was only 25 and deep down didn't want to spend the rest of my life caring full-time for a child that might never get to experience a full life. So we aborted the baby. According to both of our families and even some close friends, we're the worst people on the planet. My MIL accused us of trying to \"forget\" about the baby because some people still don't know I had been pregnant (I didn't have much of a belly at all and honestly just looked like I'd gained 10 extra pounds) and hasn't spoken to us in months, and my sister said that it's evil that we're still planning to try for another baby soon, and if I'd \"just keep aborting\" until I got a \"normal kid\". So, was I an asshole? My husband and I took the decision we thought would be the best for us, but I know it wasn't right to abort the baby just because of its problems it was definitely not an easy decision. ######","completion":" NTA because abortion is up to the discretion of the mother. If anyone tells you that you’re a bad person for aborting, they’re just wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just wanted to preface this by saying that the shelter in my city is a no kill shelter and the cat has a tag with an address.\n\nI have a huge issue with \"outdoor\" cats. Not only does it endanger the cat's life, it also leads to local wildlife getting killed for no reason at all.\n\nThe cat in question belongs to my neighbor across the street. I have called animal services every time I see the cat outside and she gets picked up.\n\nMy neighbor then has to pay $60 to get her out each time.\n\nMy neighbor is clearly frustrated and has sent numerous letters to everyone in the neighborhood, begging us not to call animal services.\n\nI have now had the cat picked up 5 times.\n\nI think only selfish assholes let their cats be \"outdoor\" cats, who have much lower lifespans than indoor cats by the way.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA based on your comment:\n\n>Our city has a bylaw that doesn't allow outdoor cats because we have are nesting ground for a particular species of bird. But its only enforced if someone calls it in. ######"}
{"prompt":"20M here. My brother (16) has been in online class since our state closed schools for the year. Usually, I didn’t really keep up with him on his school work despite the fact that I regularly get his grades sent to my email throughout the school year. \n\nAbout two weeks ago I noticed on his report then that he was missing 1 assignment in one class and his grade was a D. I didn’t reproach him about it or tell our parents then because he doesn’t listen to me and figured he’d be responsible enough to turn that grade around.\n\nFast forward to yesterday, his most recent report had him failing 2 classes and missing 4 assignments between the two of them. Without really pondering on it, I took a screenshot and sent it to both my mom and my stepdad (his biological father). My mom flipped out on him and my stepdad called him too to scold him. \n\nI didn’t say anything about it to him at all, but he’s not an idiot, he knows I sent it to them. He didn’t get angry at me for it (at least not to my face). As of now, neither my brother nor my stepdad are speaking to me, but my stepdad’s silence is probably attributed to a fight him and I had 3 days prior. I kind of feel bad for the reaction he got, but I don’t regret doing what I did. AITA?\n\nEDIT: When he first transferred to this school, the office needed an email to add their messaging list. I’m the only one of the four of us who has an email address that regularly checks it so I put mine down. For context, my parents are immigrants and English is not their first language. I usually handle communications between the school and us. ######","completion":" NTA based on the additional information that you provided, citing that you receive these updates because you’re the only one with an email address and your parents don’t speak English. \n\nYou’re simply a “middle man” for your parents to check up on your brother’s grades. However, I can see where he might feel a bit betrayed. Maybe you should check with his school to see if there are any resources available so you wouldn’t have to be in this situation. \n\nAs a side note, if these grades aren’t like him, I would check up on him to see how he’s handling everything. It could be a sign of a bigger issue or he may not be adjusting to online classes well. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (34M) and I(33F) were invited to the wedding of childhood acquaintance of his. My husband's father works closely in the same industry as her father, and they are quite close. Probably another reason why we received an invitation. This wedding is taking place in a month, since our state has now allowed weddings under certain social distancing conditions. \n\nMy husband is from a close-knit community centered around their church and atttending associated church community events. We were invited to the wedding, but have never met the groom, talked to the bride in passing a few years ago, and do not attend church.\n\nThe couple in question are in their early 30s, have very well paying jobs (6-figures each), and have asked for about $25,000 in gifts and gift cards, not including \"featured contributions\" to buying land to construct a new home and pay for a lavish honeymoon. \n\nI see this as a blatant cash grab, especially during a time when a lot of families are hurting financially. We are feeling pressure from my husband's family members to give them something due to \"history.\" I'd rather donate a small amount to a worthy cause in their name, or just give nothing since my husband and I have no relationship with the couple. Full disclosure - the bride's parents gave us $200 when we got married a few years ago. \n\nAITA for not wanting to give a wealthy couple money for their wedding? The pre-set amounts allow for $100 to be the smallest gift in either gift card or lowest-value of an item from their registry. ######","completion":" NTA based on   \n1) The fact you say in comments you are not attending. I personally think it's nice to send a gift even if you are not attending, kind of like an apology I guess, but that would only be to people I know well, and it would be a much smaller gift.   \n2) Minimum gift s $100?! That's a dick move right there. Wanting money or creating a wish list is fine but you need to allow smaller amounts and put many low-value items - not everyone can afford to spend a lot. It's just rude and tone deaf to not realise that.   \n\n\n3) You don't actually know them well. In that case I think a card is fine. \n\nDon't worry too much about it! They aren't close friends. If you want to look good and \"save face\" because they are from the same church as your family in law, you could give to a charity, get a nice certificate that doesn't say the amount and send it to them with the card? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so the title sounds a little selfish but hear me out here\n\nIm (16M) pretty much the baker of the house, my mom will occasionally, but only when I’m busy or not home. When I want to bake, or when my family is dropping hints they want something sweet, I ask my family what they want. Sometimes they give me something specific like cheesecake or cookies, sometimes they just let me have the creative freedom to make what I’m craving. \n\nNow my sister (20F) doesn’t live with us but she does spend a lot of time at the house, she also happens to have celiacs\/a gluten intolerance (I’m unsure which) and has tried to cut down on gluten. In turn she’s asked me to make gluten free desserts instead of the ones with gluten in them. \n\nHere’s where the problem comes in, I don’t like the texture that the gluten free flours give the desserts, especially in things such as cakes. When it’s something made specifically for her, such as something specific she requests or something for her birthday, I’ll happily make it. When it’s something I want or someone else in my family wants I make it with normal flour. \n\nMy sister doesn’t like this because she can’t eat them, however whenever I ask her to make a request she only ever says something gluten free. I’m also hesitant to make her gluten free desserts freely because she doesn’t generally eat a lot of dessert because she is trying to watch her weight. And I don’t want the dessert to go waste. \n\nSo Reddit AITA for not making gluten free desserts all the time? ######","completion":" NTA baking is a ton of work and all the ingredients get expensive. It is kind of you to be accommodating when she requests something but you should not have to make everything gluten free just because she may drop by and want a bite of something. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't live in America, so tipping culture doesn't exist here. There are many reasons for this but the biggest would be that our minimum wage isn't ridiculously low like in America.  \n\n\nI'm a part-time worker who isn't a frivolous person, but today I received a promotion in the mail by Uber Eats for $15 off your first spend (I wouldn't have ordered otherwise). As normally, it's $20 +$10 delivery. But with this voucher code, it was a much more reasonable $15. So I lashed out and treated myself.   \n\n\nAnyway, long story short. The driver got the wrong house and didn't bother to verify anyone by name. He just handed it over to my next-door neighbour. It wasn't until I called up that I found this out. Generally, most take-outs would offer some compensation over such a gaffe. Now I'm not saying I expected one but I did observe that Uber Eats seems quite unique in this. But they ended up assigning me the same driver (which is perfectly fine).   \n\n\nWhen he arrived I had to stand outside my house and flag him down so he didn't miss me. And then he came up to me and said in the little English he knew, *''App yes?...''*. And smiled at me. I didn't know what he meant but it seemed pretty straightforward so I just nodded and said yes (I assumed he was asking for some kind of review as I think Uber does that). Which I was more than happy to do. So I smile and nodded. And then he said, *''Don't forget nice tip yes yes''*.   \n\n\nAnd now I'm kind of at a loss. I now feel guilty because I know the man wants a tip. But I also only did this because of the promotion. And I'm also shocked by the audacity of him out-right asking for a tip... But I don't know. I guess I'll just leave it with you guys.   \n\n\nAm I an asshole if I don't tip this man? ######","completion":" NTA Australia has a very high minimum wage and Aussie labour board throws out award rates like salt bae salting something. Tips are not a thing unless he delivered a baby whilst also delivering pizza. I would have had the most wtf look on me face if someone asked me for a tip. Also Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Go the maroons! ######"}
{"prompt":"where im from,the wifi is generally trash. to get the good wifi,you need to pay more. my family decided to get the better one,which is still pretty bad,because we live outside the city.we moved here 2 years ago when our house was finished.our neighbors are really nice,as they let us use their electricity when we were constructing our house.we share the gas to,but the bill is shared.i should mention that when they need the gas,they shut OUR gas down so they get more gas.other than that,theyre cool i guess.about two weeks ago,they asked one of my sisters if they could get the password for the wifi,because their wifi is down.sis didnt reply and kept the other convo going,whatever it was (i wasnt there).the neighbors girl asked again,and being the non confrontational weirdo that my sister is,she gave them the password. now,i wouldnt really mind if it was one person using it,but their whole SEVEN person family is using it,which really kills the speed for us.i recently downloaded brawlhalla,and i cant even play it.i get like 100-200 kbps,which really doesnt help me play.i've considered changing the password but my sister and mother think i shouldnt,as theyre \"helping us by sharing the gas\".\n\nWIBTA if i change the password for my wifi which i pay for so i can play games ######","completion":" NTA at all\n\nyou pay for it so it’s yours.\n\nand they shut off your gas when they want to use theirs, so why can’t you do the same?\n\nyou’re paying for a wifi you can’t use.\n\nand the security risk of them having access to that wifi.\n\nCHANGE THE PASSWORD ASAP DUDE ######"}
{"prompt":"We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more. \n\nI wear a 38\" waist in jeans and an XL\/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me. \n\nShe bought me jeans in a 28\" waist and tops in a medium.\n\nShe told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me. \n\nI mentioned once to her that when I was around 16\/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.\n\nShe never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me \"happy birthday you fat fuck\" lol..\n\n\nI think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway. \n\nOur sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her. \n\nI tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me. \n\n\nAm i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######","completion":" NTA at ALL\n\nit's badass that you are recovering and don't binge anymore literally like hell yeah dude that's fucking *amazing*. your body is NOT disgusting. \n\nas someone with BED (and literally who just binged), i am so proud of you. i definitely know that i speak for mostly everyone when i say that we are all proud of you. \n\nyou deserve a partner that doesn't do this to you. you deserve a lot better. a whole lot better. ######"}
{"prompt":"Fortunately no one was hurt, but my wife's brother totaled his 5th car in 2 years today. Two of those cars were sold to him by us. He never made another payment after wrecking them, and used the insurance money to buy another car instead.\n\nWell today he ran a stale yellow and got t boned, totaling his new Pacifica. He called to ask if he could borrow my 2012 audi s4 until he can buy another car. I didn't even hesitate to say \"no way dude, you'll kill yourself with that type of car\". Five minutes later he calls my wife, begging to borrow her cherokee. I told her absolutely not, he'll wreck it and ruin our insurance rate.\n\nNow my mother in law is trying to guilt me \"He needs a car to get to his 3 jobs, they have 3 kids you know. You barely even use your car\"\n\nI lost it and said \"it's not my fault he doesn't know what a fucking condom is, and he still owes us $7000 from the cars we sold him. He will wrap that 400hp audi around a pole in under 30 minutes, I wouldn't let him borrow a bicycle\" \n\nSo now everyone's mad at me... Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA at all\n\n\\- Your brother-in-law has crashed FIVE cars.\n\n\\- He owes you THOUSANDS of dollars.\n\nAnd he thinks he's entitled to YOUR cars. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######","completion":" NTA at all.\nMy mom is the same way so I didn’t tell her I was pregnant until right before I announced it to everyone so she didn’t have a chance to spoil it. \n\nAnd that “I’m grandma” excuse is such BS. \n\nCongratulations! ######"}
{"prompt":"My upstairs neighbors just (rudely) called me to come outside via intercom at 2am because I was cooking dinner and the smell woke them up. \n\nI am a shift worker so I regularly cook at late hours of the morning, and they said that they have been woken up by it consistently for the last few months. Our apartments are quite small and only have doors\/windows on one side to they get very stuffy when it’s locked up. \n\nThey “recommended” I keep everything closed up if I want to cook, but I’m using the oven the house does get really gross and I will eventually need to air it out. They said that if I kept it up that I should stop cooking entirely or they’ll put in a complaint. I told them I’ll be more aware of it and clean out my air filter but I’m not willing to change my schedule. \n\nAm I the asshole? I’m not cooking anything exuberantly pungent (no curries or any intensely odorous spices) ######","completion":" NTA at all.\n\nThat’s hilarious. It’s not the sound that wakes them up it’s the smell? What are they, bears? ######"}
{"prompt":"Sounds terrible, I know, but hear me out.  \n\n\nMy grandmother (GM) is 95 years old. She lives with my parents, who are both 70 years old. I (F43) live in the house next to them with my husband, kids and pets. Growing up, GM live with us as well and she was the torment of my childhood. She despised my mother and did her best to start arguments between us. She got me in trouble many times, hiding my things and lying about things I'd supposedly said and done to my parents. My mother despised her as well, but my father was too kind to kick her out. I was angry about this for many years, however, recently my anger has begun to thaw and I no longer care about her one way or the other. She's essentially a stranger. \n\nFor a pretty long time, she required little assistance from my parents. However, it is clear that she will not live much longer. She is completely bedridden and my poor parents have to take care of her almost 24\/7. Time and time again, I have urged them to hire a caretaker to help them manage, since they need to take care of themselves as well. They refuse. I offered to pay for the caretaker and any additional related expenses. Still nothing. \n\nHowever, my father wants me to help feed, dress and take care of my GM. For the obvious reason that I harbour no attachment or feelings towards her, I don't want to do this. Even if I did, I am working from home with two young children and a whole slew of pets and I simply cannot find the time to help them. Once again, I tried to convince them to hire a caretaker, because they obviously struggle on their own. They are adamant that they can handle it on their own. This has led to several schisms between us. My mother is somewhat on my side, however, my father is upset that I don't want to help take care of her. AITA for refusing to take care of my elderly grandmother? ######","completion":" NTA AT ALL.\n\nI’m a nurse bsn rn and taking care of someone is a full time job, LITERALLY. People who require intense care like this need someone from the outside to help usually, because otherwise the family will sooner or later become burnt out. The caregiver and “patient” family member will suffer because of it. People are always quick to hate on nursing homes and I totally understand why, a lot suck, you gotta look into them. But I have typically heard only good things about at home care, and really think that’s what your family needs. Your offer to help pay is generous and very kind of you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20f, college sophomore) had 300 dollars in my savings account that I put there after I got paid for my work study job. Last week I went on my account and it’s gone. I went to my dad about it and he said he moved it somewhere else to save. I very politely said that since it’s my money from my work I would appreciate him putting it back and not touching it in the future. Fast forward to tonight, it’s still not back so I go to him again and he starts going on about how he can show me where he put it, that he won’t be moving it back to my account, and that I have no right to be upset. I said, okay, you have until tomorrow or I’m making my own back account for my work checks. (He has access to my current one bc it’s also where my college tuition, which he pays for, is paid from). He told me I was being a brat, that I am not to go off making my own account, and that I should appreciate him saving my money for me since I’m a bad spender. I tried to go to my mom about it and she said the same thing. \n\nI admit I sometimes overspend, but I’m still upset over this because I feel like since I’m an adult, they need to let me learn how to save my money now and if I end up blowing it, I blow it and that’s on me. If I don’t learn that the hard way without mommy and daddy helping me now, when am I supposed to? But all that said, AITA?\n\nEDIT: mentioned this in a reply and was told I should add this to the original post. Since my parents found out I was gay this past October, their financial support has been completely dependent on my not coming out anywhere publicly. If I so much as said “I’m gay” on Facebook all financial support would be cut. ######","completion":" NTA at all.\n\n1.) Regardless of you being an adult or not, your money is your money. You earned that doing work at your own job. He has no right to take your money.\n2.) Yes, I agree that if you blow your money then it's on you. Your parents have no right to dictate what money you have if you earned it. They have no right to take it away from you.\n3.) Your father might pay for your tuition, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own bank account.\n\nThis seems like a toxic relationship. To me, it seems like your parents want you to depend on them. To me, it seems like they want to have some sort of control over you all of the time. In this case, it's monetary control. If anything, I think you need to separate yourselves from them, otherwise you won't be able to spend your money without them knowing all about it.\n\nYou are 100% not the asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up my mom was big in to charity work (not donating money but giving things to people who they thought needed it), it might sound like a good thing but a lot of the times it was taking something from me (yes most of it was given to me by her but they didn’t limit it to things purchased by her) giving it to someone who they felt needed it more eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more.\n\nThis has eaten at me over the years and has completely put me off any kind of human philanthropy, I do a lot of work for animals ( I prefer being around animals than humans if that helps)\n\nRecently There’s been pressure for me to be more generous and do more charity work for people that need it (given that there’s a pandemic) and I’m getting shit for choosing to donate to animals instead \n\nAnd ofc if someone who I know and like is having a hard time I do reach out and try to help wherever possible but am not into giving away shit to random people \n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all.\n\n> eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more\n\nWhile that's well-intentioned, that's straight up theft.  \n\n> I do a lot of work for animals\n\nAll you need to say is, \"I do charity work that I'm really interested in already.  Animals are also affected by COVID-19: pets whose owners have died, pets that are underfed because their owners are out of work, supporting shelters that are overrun by people who have abandoned animals they can no longer afford.  This is support that I'm passionate about and adds value to my life and the lives of others that can't help themselves.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for Not Letting My Sister use my Niece &amp; Nephews To Manipulate Me\n[F] Recently my sister got temporary custody of my neice and nephews (our brother's children). My sister was decided on as the one to get custody, because she is married, is financially better off, and doesn't work outside of the home. My sister's husband is not happy about the arrangement. When she gets tired or sick, I am the one that goes over to her house to help with the kids, ie. feed them, bathe them, put them to bed, play with them or watch them while she takes a nap. I have even run errands and brought over dinner after work. I live 45 minutes to an hour away. I have been trying to help as much as I can, all while still continuing to go to work as an \"essential employee\". Now that her husband is home (due current circumstances), she has wanted me to take the kids on the weekends. I truly do not mind, what I don't like is not being asked. She just Tells me the kids are coming over this weekend, and tells me what time she is bringing them. On Sunday when I need to bring them back to her, she tells me her husband wants me to keep them til 3pm or later. This weekend, she told me when she was bringing them, told me they had been sick and fighting with each other. So I go to bring them back sunday and she got angry, saying I thought you were keeping them until after we go to this meeting. She claimed she had a meeting at 2pm and wanted me to keep them until after they got back. She never asked me, she told me she had a meeting, which due to circumstances, should have been canceled. I explained, \"you didnt ask me, unfortunately, I have work tomorrow and have to get some things done that I was unable to do over the weekend.\" She proceeded to yell at me over the phone, saying, \"the kids don't ever have to come back to my house, you dont ever have to watch them again.\" I did bring them back. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA at all. Your sister in an AH for numerous reasons.\n\n1. Making a decision like that without being on the same page with your husband.\n2. Having no consideration for your time or independence. ######"}
{"prompt":"So when my wife and I got married I was probably 40 pounds overweight. I gained weight for a couple years until I finally got sick of being a fatass and started exercising and dieting. Since then I’ve lost 50 pounds, and I’d say I’m within a healthy weight range now.\n\nWhen I first married my wife I would say looks wise I was out of her league. I think she’s very pretty and I was definitely not good looking. I’d say now we’re more equal as physical attractiveness goes, not to be a brag.\n\nAnyway I was talking to a friend about how I’d finally lost weight and it felt good, he congratulated me then said that I should upgrade my wife. I figured it was a joke and chuckled a little but he kept going with it, said that we’ve only been married a few years(4, not nothing) and that I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone “ugly” that I married because I was fat.\n\nI said yes, I do in fact want to spend the rest of my life with someone I married, that tends to be how it works, and that I’m not a piece of shit so I’m not going to upgrade my wife.\n\nHe got a divorce a few years ago and talked a bit about how good it felt to be out there again, but never really said it was because he thought she was ugly.\n\nHe got pissed and said that he divorced his wife for looks and he isn’t a piece of shit, at which point I said that I disagreed, and he hung up. He messaged me later that we exchanged some “harsh words” and should just move past it, but then followed it up with he wants an apology.\n\nI don’t know what the fucks wrong with him, but a mutual friend also messaged me that calling him a piece of shit wasn’t “cool”. I don’t know I’m pissed off right now so it’s hard to tell if I went too far.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all. Your friend is a huge one though for: \n\n1) Trying to undermine your relationship with your wife.\n2) Being shallow enough to divorce his wife solely for looks.\n3) Trying to encourage those same shallow behaviors in you. \n\nGood for you for standing up for your wife. I would seriously consider moving on from this friend though, because are you  certain he will stop this attack on your relationship because you asked him to? He clearly doesn't respect boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.\n\nA high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.\n\nOne thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).\n\nOur friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children. \n\nMy mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.\n\nYes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######","completion":" NTA at all. You should go off about how satisfying you find it to have a good work ethic, how you see your future as so rosy because you know you aren't scared to get your hands dirty & earn what you have. How people who rely on others are just pitiful leeches and would never be able to get themselves out of a bad situation but you feel secure knowing you worked for savings & didn't take your parents generosity for granted... but something tells me she wouldn't like that ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse. \nSo this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up. \nWell this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week. \nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA at all. You did the right thing. People at the ER are having one of the worst days of their lives and the least they can have is a little bit of respect from the men and women who are supposed to be helping them. If she has such a shitty attitude she shouldn't be working in a job like that at all. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m actually making this post for my mom, because she doesn’t have a reddit account. I’ll show her the results.\n\nAnyways, we went to a Best Buy today to look at TVs because we’re moving, and our TV is ancient and barely works anymore. When we left the store, we heard a dog barking. A dog was left in a car, not running so no AC, with one window barely cracked. It was 85 degrees out today, so the temperature in the car would’ve gotten to 104 after just 10 minutes, 115 after 20. Dogs suffer from heat exhaustion when their body temperature reaches 103 degrees, and are at risk of heat stroke when they reach 106 degrees.\n\nFirst, my mom when in the store to ask them to page the owner, but the employees refused. My mom then decided to call the police, because we had no way of knowing how long the dog had already been in the car, or how long it would be until the owners got back. My mom didn’t want to risk the dog dying if the owners stayed in the store too long. So she called the police, and waited until they arrived. About 5-10 minutes after we found the dog, the owners got back. My mom let them know that she had called the police, and obviously they were mad at her because of it. They called her “uncaring.” So my mom is doubting herself, thinking maybe she took it too far. What do you think? ######","completion":" NTA at all. You defended the defenceless and even tried to take alternative steps rather than just immediately calling the police. You might have saved that dogs life. Good for you! ######"}
{"prompt":"Background:\n\nMy husband’s (30m) Federal job has taken us first to Oklahoma for several months and now to California. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom to make the transitions easier since childcare is so expensive. \n\nI also lost both my mom (50f) and my brother (17m) within 4 years of each other when I was 17 and 21 (I promise this is relevant).\n\nScenario:\n\nIn November my dad(63m) had a massive heart attack that required an emergency triple bypass and mitral valve replacement. My husband was able to take a week off from work and stay home with our daughter(2f) so I could fly back to TN to be there. The surgery went fairly well, but it was hugely stressful for me. The thought of being an orphan at 30 is heartbreaking. (Can you be an orphan if you’re an adult?) I flew back to California once he was stabilized and have been here since. \n\nMy husband’s job has a process where you can submit a request to relocate back home for medical emergencies. We qualify for this relocation and I’ve asked him to consider moving back to be closer to my dad. My husband is reluctant due to the difference in workload (The TN job would be busier and more work) and the logistics and cost of moving cross country. \n\nMeanwhile, Dad has had 2 more surgeries to correct a persistent heart murmur and install a pacemaker. I continue to bring up this transfer and I continue to get a response about the logistics, cost, and workload differences. \n\nSo I lost my shit. I told him that I would resent him if we don’t have a real conversation about this transfer. I have sacrificed so much for this opportunity for him and I truly feel like our marriage will suffer if he won’t even consider it. I want our daughter to know her grandfather, I want to spend time with my dad while he’s relatively healthy. \n\nAITA? I hate ultimatums, but I don’t know if I could forgive my husband if something happens to dad and I’m not there. ######","completion":" NTA at all. This is obviously really important to you, for good reason, and he should be more sensitive to your feelings imo. He should at least be talking about some compromise to allow you to spend time with your dad. Good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my parents and brother. \n\nMy dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there. \n\nThis honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll. \n\nAITA for asking my dad to quit? ######","completion":" NTA at all. They aren’t jokes if you aren’t laughing ######"}
{"prompt":"For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy. \n\nAlice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to \"do things right\" and \"provide the best start in life\" (their views, not mine). \n\nSo they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.\n\nHowever, when I said \"sure\", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package. \n\nBut Alice &amp; Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier\/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.\n\nWIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######","completion":" NTA at all. There's a massive step between being happy to surrogate for your sister and being okay with having sex with her husband in order to do so,and nobody should be judging you for having that line. Plenty of other people would have it too. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened years ago.  A friend (22F) asked me (22F) to go on a group camping trip shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up.  I agreed to go, and she paid for the camping site.  I found out afterwards that everyone else going was dating each other...four couples and myself.  She said that I would have to bring my own tent and sleep alone and could join the others in the daytime.  I gave her my part of the money for camping but told her I would not be going on the camping trip to be a ninth wheel immediately after a breakup because it made me feel really awkward and rubbed in the feeling that I was alone, but that I appreciated the invitation and would go camping with her another time.  She was very upset and said that I had promised to go, which is true, but it was not quite a 'group of friends' event, it was a couples camping trip...with me as the awkward ninth wheel.  So tell me, Reddit, AITA for backing out of a camping trip that I had promised to go on, because the trip was a different group than I expected? ######","completion":" NTA at all. There is no point in going to a place where you know you're going to be uncomfortable and won't enjoy the moment and of course it's understandable with your situation. Your friend is being a bit insensitive here. ######"}
{"prompt":"SO works mon- thurs. he used to work fridays as well but due to the current world situation his hours were cut. My job completely shut down. Prior to shutting down I worked at a club, would get home at 330\/4 am and still have to get up with our son at 730\/8 am everyday. Even if my SO was off work. \n\nAny days off he has, he sleeps in till 3 or 4 pm. I try to wake him up around 11 every day off and he says he’s getting up and then just doesn’t. \n\nI’m getting increasingly pissed off because he ends up getting up so late, and has like 5 hours left that our son is awake but he is too busy waking up, showering, making food, checking his phone to even pay attention to our son. \n\nHe is the only one with a license so I depend on him to take us to the grocery store \/ pick up groceries due to the world situation. Or he can watch our son while I walk across the road to an expensive grocery store. I don’t care either way. We also depend on him to drive us places we can go for a walk because we live in a pretty dense area and it is still crowded even with All the stay at home orders. We do not have a yard. \n\nI finally snapped today and told him to wake the fuck up and take care of our son and he said I expect too much of him because he works all the time and he’s tired and his fucking foot psoriasis is bothering him. I told him if he doesn’t want to wake up at a normal time he can go live with his parents because he’s zero help to me here and snaps on me constantly because he’s tired or somethings bothering him. It makes me really mad when the baby and I go to bed and then he comes in at 1\/2am being loud af and then we have to be quiet till 3pm because he’s sleeping?? \n(Yes I have spoken to him plenty of times about all of this. ) \n\nAITA for telling him to leave? ######","completion":" NTA at all. There are two parents in your house, but right now it sounds like there’s really only one. If he is working and you’re not, it’s reasonable for you to do somewhat more childcare work than him. That is not what this is though based on your description. It sounds like he can barely bothered to parent at all. He needs to step up and act like an adult and do his part to care for his own kid and family. You need to have a very clear and serious talk with him I think, but if he refuses to listen, then he is not worth keeping in your house. ######"}
{"prompt":"Please excuse me for my English.\n\n\n\nI am 13 year Male and I moved from my home country of south Korea to Canada when I was 11. It is almost 2 years since I have moved. My English isnt the best but it is getting very better. My name is Jaehyeong it is a very hard name for native English people to pronouns because of that they almost always get it wrong and I correct them. Normally when I correct them I just repeat my name instead of saying that not my name. I feel this is easier since it maybe would make people mad. I let a select people call me jae but I just find it disrespecting to call someone you arent close to a shorten name.  we had a different teacher on the online classes and when he called my name it was so miss pronouns I didnt hear it correctly one of my friends had to say something to me to tell me that this man called my name. So I said here and the teacher said I am going to call you jae form now on. I said can you please learn. My name instead and he didnt say anything. When he then called on me again he mis pronouns it again so I didnt know he called on me. It is still hard for me to keep track of everything in calls. So once i answered the question he said he is going to call me jae because he cant pronouns my name and I cant understand his miss pronunciation. I agreed. After the class I got my grade and it said I got 10 points taken off of professional because of my ask for him to say my full name and then not answering to it. Am I the asshole ######","completion":" NTA at all. The sub teacher is definitely T A. Names are important, and he needs to take the time to learn it. Also, the teacher should definitely not take off points for his inability to pronounce your name and fully engage all students in the class. ######"}
{"prompt":"Growing up, I was the sort of father figure figure for my younger sister and brother, so I am overprotective by nature, I'll admit that. However, I hate my sister's fiance for reasons unrelating to the fact that he's saying my sister. \n\nOver the seven month span that they've been together, the fiance has called me a 'f#ggot', and used multiple slurs against me relating to my sexuality. He has called out younger brother a 'r#tard' because of his autism, and mocked him when he thought nobody was looking. I ignored the slurs against me but I did get very angry about the R-word comment and I did attack him over that. I take responsibility for attacking him over it, but I do not regret it. \n\nThe other thing that worries me is that he has multiple domestic abuse charges against him. I know people deserve second chances, but he's got a very long rap sheet going for him. \nYesterday, my sister called me and said that they we r going to start planning a wedding. And I said that I was happy for her, but also asked why she was Allah with marrying a guy that used slurs and insulted her brothers, especially our younger brother, who is very sensitive when it comes to certain things. \n\nShe said that I was being dramatic and that he'd been joking, but I wasn't having it and told her that I wasn't going to the wedding unless he swore not to say those things, and that our brother (who relies on me a lot) wasn't going if he was just going to be demeaned. \n\nMy sister said that I hadn't made any attempts to get to know him, which isn't true, and that it was only a joke, but I said that was a bad joke to make and also that I wasn't going to entertain him because he was a 'd#ck'. \n\nRightfully or not, she got upset and hung up on me. \n\nWas I wrong for calling the fiance that? Was she wrong? Was everybody wrong? ######","completion":" NTA at all. So many red flags with this guy. I think you are 100% right to call him out in his behavior to your sister. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a very close friend, J, we have known each other for over 20 years, lived together, talk regularly, supported each other through ups and downs and since we both lost our parents have said how much we regard each other as family. Truly, we have always said how we feel like sisters.\n\nJ is getting married next year, to a great guy and I'm thrilled for her.  She has another friend she has known since school, this friend B is not a great friend.  She was not supporting of J's engagement, was mean about J's choice of outfit as it isn't a traditional white dress and said she doesn't want to be part of the wedding party as she doesn't want to be 'the fun police'.\n\nI saw J this weekend and she said she had something difficult to tell me, she and her fiance have decided to have a family only wedding (when I first heard this I thought, I honestly thought Id be included) mainly because she doesn't want to invite B and J said she can't invite me and not B as that would create drama.\n\nI said she should have whatever wedding she likes, it's her day.  I didn't tell her that I am truly crushed she doesn't include me as her family after so many years of saying I am. I have no blood relatives left, they all died so this is a real blow.\n\nHowever, this is the AITA bit.  J has said she really wants me there when she gets ready on the morning of her wedding, helping her get ready etc and also to organise her Hen party and help with planning her wedding - but I wont be going. To any of it.\n\nAITA for saying no?  I really want to be part of her day but I think this is just unfair on me.  \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\ntl;dr:  Im not being invited to my best friends wedding because she doesnt want to invite her other friend and doesnt want to upset her and is using a 'family only' wedding as and excuse. Yet she wants me to do all the things I would have done if I were invited and acting as her bridesmaid. ######","completion":" NTA at all. She wants you to help plan and organize events for a wedding that she made a point to say you *weren’t* invited to? Rude. Weddings are a lot of work to plan. And what about the bachelorette party, are you even invited to that, or does she just want you to plan it for her and then watch the party leave without you because “it would cause drama if you were there”? And helping her get ready on the day itself, AYFKM? You’re just supposed to hang out like a 5th wheel during all these Kodak moments of the bridesmaids, putting on the bridal gown, mother of the bride, first look, etc. and have to have this conversation:\n\n“Hi, nice to meet you, how do you know J?”\n“Oh, we’ve been friends for 20 years, we were roommates, we’re practically like sisters!”\n“Great! Who are you bringing to the wedding?”\n“Oh, uh, I wasn’t invited to the wedding.”\n\n And then....go awkwardly home by yourself after everyone else piles into the limo to go to the venue? Honestly, that would make me feel a thousand times more left out than simply not being involved at all. What’s next? Asking you to show up after the reception you’re not invited to, to help clean up?\n\nJust imagining all this is nightmare fuel, much less actually doing it.\n\nPresumably there will be a bridal party at this wedding, people who ARE invited and will be attending. Those are the people she should ask for help. Or she could hire a wedding planner. But no, what she’s asking is bad manners in the extreme. If she wants you there, if she’s supposedly mature enough to get married, then she can be an adult and invite you.\n\nETA: You can always send a nice congratulatory card, a gift if you want (gifts are not required from people who aren’t invited, though—purely up to you) and maybe say, “If the wedding is family-only, then I think it would be too awkward for me to be involved in the planning, but let’s go have a celebratory drink once you’re back from the honeymoon!” That would be a perfectly nice gesture on your part, without committing to what she’s asking you to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 23 and pregnant from a one night stand and is planning on keeping the baby. She’s in a pretty decent place in her life. She has an undergraduate degree in STEM and makes pretty okay money with lots of room for growth. Right now, she wants to keep the baby and not tell the dad about it - effectively choosing to be a single mother.  \n  \nAs her father, I have a lot of grievances towards these choices. Mostly because how difficult it is to raise a child alone at that age and with a non-substantial income or help from other friends with kids or parents. We lost her mother, my fiancee, during her birth. I raised her alone while working 2 jobs. Could barely afford food, childcare and the mortgage. We lived off foodbanks and often times, I didn’t eat so she could. I think she was too young to understand when things were really bad like when we couldn’t afford electricity and bathed in cold water or when we went out to eat “at friends” which was the local shelter.  \n  \nI decided to tell my daughter my one personal struggles while raising her, and how it was extremely difficult and that I didn’t want her to go through what I did while trying to provide the best life she can for her child. I did that, and while I dont regret anything, I still don’t want her to struggle like I did. I still want the absolute best and easiest path for her.  \n  \nAm I being controlling thinking like this? She is indeed free to live her own life now, but I suggested that she try to co-parent with the father of her child - hoping it will make it easier for her. She absolutely does not want this and was quite upset at my mentioning it and not receptive to my telling of my experience raising her as a single parent which makes me think I may be in the wrong. ######","completion":" Nta at all. She needs to know what's coming. So she can start drafting her game plan. I think u are a very good father. Bless u. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) have known for a long time that I‘m gay but I haven’t come out to anyone besides my sister and my friend Maya. Maya and I were pretty close and I thought I could tell her without being judged. \n\nWe are in the same group of friends and there is one guy, Tom, who very obviously had romantic feelings for me. I didn’t lead him on and made it clear that I didn’t feel the same. However, he was fine with just being friends. A few weeks later he told me he couldn’t just stay friends and was constantly messaging me. He just wouldn’t let me alone. It started to become a topic within our friend group and I was very uncomfortable because there was no chance for him and I to get together. They started teasing me and suggested I should give a chance since he is a great guy. \n\nMaya thought I was deceiving Tom and leading him by not telling him I was gay. She argued he deserved to know and it would get him and my other friends off my back. I told her it’s no ones business to know my about sexuality and he should take no for an answer. \n\nA week ago she called him and actually told him.  He called me out for it on a zoom call in front of everyone. I was mortified and immediately left the call and bawled my eyes out for the rest of the day. I confronted maya about it and she argued that this was the right thing to do and  she did me a favor since everyone was really supportive and now I don‘t have to worry about their reactions anymore. I blocked her on everything. \n\nI explained what happened to my friends and most of them think I should give her a second chance or at least be civil with her to keep the peace in the group. I thought about it but I just don‘t want to see her face ever again but I also don’t want the group to fall apart. ######","completion":" NTA at ALL. She had absolutely no right to do that. I’m so sorry that happened to you. That was a clear violation of your privacy and trust. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son and only child is 13. He woke me and my wife up crying and shaking the other night, he’s never ever done the before, so I was concerned. My wife, on the other hand was mad, she told him to go back to sleep in a snappy tone. \n\nI got up and lead to the kitchen, I got us a glass of water and we talked about it for a while. It was pretty bad too, i don’t think I should say it here, because it was a private talk. All I’ll say is I get why it made him cry. \n\nI tucked him back in and ran my fingers through his hair till he fell asleep. When I got back to our bedroom, my wife asked where I was. When I told her, she asked what the dream was about, I told her that she would know if she cared earlier. This pissed her off. AITA?\n\nEdit: I apologized to her, but she won’t apologize to our son. ######","completion":" NTA at all. Response was appropriate, too. I would say your wife owes her child a sincere apology. He came to her in a time of need, and she shunned him. Hopefully she learns and changes her attitude. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years. he was staying with me during lockdown. i’ve got a job, he cannot be bothered to find one. So today i asked him if he would mind popping out and getting some shopping. he leaves and comes back a few hours later, no shopping. I ask him where the shopping is and he said he left his money at home. (i’ve lent him probably thousands over the years, the fact that he couldn’t go and get £20 worth of shopping? literally wanted bread,milk,cola, and some calpol) I ask him where he went and it turns out he went to meet my sister in law to do some lines of coke. i’m like ?!?! so you can go out of your way for her, but going shopping for me is unreasonable? Anyway, so i got mad and said if he’s not gonna do basic things to help me out, he can leave. Am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA At All. Really, you deserve so much better. ######"}
{"prompt":"So long story short my friend from high school has 6 kids and she takes care of none of them. The last time I went ober to her house it was disgusting dirty diapers on the floor trash piled up so high that it was a maze just to get to the couch. The kids were so dirty it looked like they hadnt been bathed in at least a week. It is bad enough that she has 6 kids crammed in a 2 bedroom trailer but she also decided to get 2 dogs that she now doesnt take care of. The dogs have fleas so bad that the kids now have fleas crawling in their hair. That was all bad enough, but i reached my limit when the kids started talking about their private places and how they knew it sometimes felt good when other people touched you there. Former friend recently let her new bf move in with them so its super concerning to me that the kids might be being abused along with being neglected. So I called cps and made a report. Somehow it got out and former friend messaged me freaking out calling me every name in the book and saying that I am a horrible person, and that she needs those kids to survive. So tell me AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all. Oh my lord. You did the right thing by those kids. The opinions or feelings of the adults in the situation are irrelevant. Too bad if they don't like it; shame on them for their treatment of the kids. The kids need help and you provided a way for that to happen. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc... \n\nAt 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.\n\nAITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######","completion":" NTA at all. Not only do you have a hot meal that you've been preparing that will now need to be saved and reheated which will diminish its quality, but you are also eating pre cooked hot dogs and hamburgers which is the opposite of your fresh, hot meal. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning. \n\nI posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate. \n\nAm I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######","completion":" NTA at all. My sister and I used to do similar on Father’s Day for our single mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"I hate getting touched, and especially when I’ve already told them I hate getting touched without my permission. I only let few people touch me, and I even get annoyed with family members touching me. My grandmother constantly touches my waist and I hate it, I already told her to not touch me. Yet she did it again, I got really mad, and she got really mad and upset. Now I have to apologize. She did it so many times at the most annoying times, and I can’t stand her bullshit. ######","completion":" NTA at all. If you tell someone not to touch you, they should respect your wishes. You shouldn’t be forced to apologize for getting mad at this, you have every right to be upset ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an Indian woman (21) who was born and currently living in Australia. I have a younger brother (18) who is severely disabled and requires 24\/7 care. My father is in my opinion incredibly controlling. Everything I do needs to be run past him, he approves who I’m friends with, he controls when and why I leave the house. He has also chosen my career for me, Medicine. My father has also expressed to me that when I’m allowed to date in two years that I will have to consult with him first about the boy I want to go on a date with, and he obviously has the typical restrictions that any Indian parents would. Also regarding my future he told me that I’ll be allowed to move out once I’m married, and that he along with my mum and brother will live in a granny flat behind I house I live in with my future husband. \n\nTo all of this I think its incredibly unfair that he’s dictating every aspect of my life, I obviously do want to take care of my brother and my parents but I can’t deal with my father constantly using him to guilt me into doing everything he wants. \n\nI’ve considered moving out now, I have good savings and would be able to take care of myself, but I know my father would stop me from being able to contact my mum and brother. And i’m worried that I’d be affecting my brothers future if I leave them. \n\nI want to take care of my brother, I love him more than anyone else in this world. And I want him to live with me for the rest of our lives so I can take of him and give him a good life. But I selfishly want some life choices to be my own. \n\nWIBTA if I move out of home potentially causing my father to stop contact between my and my brother, jeopardising his future?\n\nTLDR: I have a controlling father, who will cut contact with my and prevent me from seeing my disabled brother if I move out. WIBTA If I do? ######","completion":" NTA at all. I’m an Indian woman and I understand your situation. It will be unpleasant to move out but if you don’t do it now you will be a prisoner in your own home and you will lose any agency you have over major life decisions. Even for an Indian father, he is extreme. Good luck ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context this was before lockdown and happened in the school bus. My house is one of the last stops on the route so the bus was mostly empty. I just looked back to see if anyone I knew was still on the bus and I noticed the girl on the next seat. Her skirt was stained red due to period blood. And I thought that i could offer her my jacket so that she could wrap it around her waist. When I did offer it to her, she completely lost it and started getting angry at me saying that I was wrong to think that there was anything wrong with period blood(which I don't btw) and shame on me  and so on. Eventually her stop came and she got off the bus. Since the bus was mostly empty no one heard. Now like I said I don't think there is anything wrong with periods, they're perfectly normal and I would give a hoodie to someone with a broken nose too. AITA for doing this ? ######","completion":" NTA at all. Her outburst is strange but I guess it may come from her being embarrassed as well. Don't mind her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).\n\nThe blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom \"mom\" most of the time but refer to me as \"mom's kid\" or \"step brother\" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.\n\nMy dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.\n\nI am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet.  I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's.  The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:\n\n1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more\n2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps\n3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one. \n\nWIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ######","completion":" NTA at all.  You are at the cusp of being an actual adult and you make the decision of what makes you better in a mentally and physical place.\n\nNot all step siblings work out.  No matter what movies and TV shows like to blast out.  You do what makes you feel happy, safe, and secure.\n\nBut also, talk to your Dad and Mom about this too.  Good luck!\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEdit: Words ######"}
{"prompt":"My step dad married my mom when I was 5. He never adopted me, but he's always been dad. 6 years ago, mom died. A year later, he remarried. I don't have a problem with that; I'm glad he found someone. \n\nThe new wife doesn't mind that I call her by her name, but the rest of her family is mad as he'll that I won't call her \"mom\".\n\nThe logical side of my brain is wondering, is my step dad's new wife my mom?\n\nThe emotional side says, I'm in my mid40s. I don't need a \"new\" mom. Sugar momma, maybe 😄 but I'm a grown adult, I don't need a parental figure anymore.\n\nSo aita for not calling my step dad's new wife \"mom\"? ######","completion":" NTA at all.  Step-parents don't get to choose whether or not their step-child is comfortable with calling them mom\/dad whether or not the child is 5 or 45.  If she's fine with what you call her and you're fine with it, then it is no one else's place to insert their opinion. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nI was on an online meeting when he came back from grocery shopping. Came into the bedroom to give me a kiss. I move because it was not professional. He got mad and slammed the door. Coffee break I come out and we get into a fight where he basically tells me that it's useless what I do for a living. I get mad and go back to work. Bf comes on again to apologize WHILE I am trying to listen to a progress report that is essential to what I need to do. I mute the call and tell him to gtfo. He is all pouty. After work I come out and am already livid at that point. Bf wants to start the fight all over again and I tell him that I need time to cool down if we want to have a discussion and not a fight. He tells me we should settle things then and there. I say not of you don't want me to get nasty. I leave to our roommates room who is currently back home. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday at 10 pm. He called me an asshole this morning for giving him a childish silent treatment.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all.  It’s nice to have some intimacy but he needs to recognise that it is not at all appropriate when you’re in a meeting or at work.   Your partner is immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a \"micro influencer\" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. \"Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind.\" That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######","completion":" NTA at all.  Fake internet points is not real concern. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube. \n\nI’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun. \n\nLately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things. \n\nThat’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos. \n\nHer parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######","completion":" NTA AT ALL.  Don't listen to them.  Why would they think that it would be a good idea to try and make their daughter stop pursuing her interests?  If she enjoys it, she enjoys it.  If she's having fun, she's having fun.  Tell them to fucking listen to themselves.. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad forced me (age 15 male) into the dual enrollment program at only 15 (if you don’t know what that is, it’s where you go to college and high school at the same time). I have gone to the same small town private school with about 100 students since kindergarten. I’ve never had to try at this school. Everyone gets all As. The curriculum is super easy and everything is pretty much busy work. My dad thinks I’m a super genius and holds me up to crazy standards even though I’ve never really had to try in my whole school career. But college is a whole different world. I worked my ass off and I’m talking about I seriously worked my ass off to get an 87 in a class full of 20 year olds and I just turned 15. My dad learns about this and he absolutely flips. Yelling at me about how I’m going to be a failure in life and that he’s grounding me for the whole summer and how I’m a disappointment and a disgrace to the family. He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. He’s been emailing all my high school teachers and apologizing for my “laziness” and “irresponsibleness” and that he will “discipline me accordingly” even though I make all As in high school. I lashed out on him and told him he can’t speak and told him he was a failure himself because of all of his failed marriages, his kids that he has never even met, the fact he can’t keep a job just to name a few. And now my grandparents and my dad have been pissed of at me for a week now and I don’t know what to do. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all.   Your father is wrong to yell at you like that and he's setting you up for some serious emotional damage.\n\nMy folks are from India and came over in 1960. I was always made to get A's in math and science. My father would scream at me too.  Finally in college, I binge drank.  Decade later we had a decent relationship, but back then I avoided him. \n\n \" He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. \"   \n\nHe's WRONG.  Your grandparents are wrong. Your dad is wrong.  I wish I could tell you how to make it so they don't judge you based on some stupid metrics that make no sense. \n\nYou are 100% not the asshole for standing up for yourself and calling him out. Best of luck to you. You are intelligent, as well as emotionally aware enough to post this here. I hope you get away from this kind of emotional abuse soon, but until then internalize how incredible it is that you are doing so well under these circumstances. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them. \n\nThe reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match. \n\nOf course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc. \n\nWhen I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding. \n\nSome friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.\n\nEdit: Clarity ######","completion":" NTA at all! Your wedding, your choice! Congrats OP! ######"}
{"prompt":"On mobile. \n\nI have a tumultuous relationship with my parents at best. My mother is an emotionally abusive asshole and she does just about anything to control everyone in her life. As such, I’m afforded no privacy in my house whatsoever, even though I’m 20 years old and only home because the labs at my university got shut down. \n\nWhen my mother gets mad at something I do, she storms into my room and begins yelling at me. I’ll ask her to leave, and she’ll proclaim that it’s her house, and therefore she can be anywhere in it at all. My dad isn’t nearly as bad, but if the door is slightly ajar he’ll just walk into my room, which really makes me uncomfortable because I’m often naked in my own room. \n\nRecently, my dad said in anger that if I really wanted privacy, he should just charge me rent. I smiled and nodded. “Please charge me rent. Draw up a contract. I’ll sign it and pay, and you’ll be legally required to stay out of my room.” \n\nAITA for going along with\/suggesting I pay rent? ######","completion":" NTA at all! This is actually a solution my therapist proposed to me with my own parents. Often introducing money can help parents stop viewing you as a kid and start viewing you as an adult ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers\/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons. \nI thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift. \nI talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move. \n\nShe got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######","completion":" NTA at all! I'm hispanic and I think it's such an incredibly sweet gesture you're doing. I have family friends who's parents don't speak anything but Spanish. They are always touched when someone makes the effort to speak to them. It is in no way trying too hard or insensitive. Can I ask the friend who made the comment and the one who would be translating, they are 2 different people right? Is the one who made the comment Hispanic? ######"}
{"prompt":"A friend of mine contracted genital herpes from unprotected sex. She has done nothing to treat the infection and continues to have unprotected sex with people and sex work clients (she's an escort) and not disclose her STD status. When I encouraged her to seek treatment, use protection, and be upfront with partners about her status, she said something along the lines of, \"If I have to suffer I want to make sure I can make as many other people suffer with me,\" implying that she was purposefully spreading her herpes to her unsuspecting partners. I decided to warn some of the people I knew she was interested in sleeping with that she had an incurable STD and was doing nothing to prevent transmission to other people. I also warned our local sex work community (I used to be a sex worker and now do community outreach for at-risk sex workers) that she was purposefully spreading herpes to clients and that the community needed to make sure they were staying safe, though I didn't use her real (legal) name, just the name she used for sex work when reaching out.\n\nWell, she found out I wanted people and won't talk to me, which is understandable. But I'm getting some hate from a few of my friends and (former) sw community members for disclosing her STD status. I never would have disclosed it had she not said she was trying to make others suffer by spreading it and was taking necessary precautions to prevent transmission to others. I didn't want to see others hurt irreparably by her actions but can't help but feel bad for disclosing private medical information. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all! \n\nAll you're trying to do is to keep the community safe. If anything, they should be thanking you. \n\nYeah it's a sensitive subject, but her owning up that she's purposely keeping it secret only so she can infect as many people is beyond a dickmove. \n\nYou did good OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17f) refused to babysit my uncles (41m) three children (7m, 6m, 3f) \n\nBackground: my beloved horse died a couple of days ago and I’m not in a good place mentally due to this. I’m working in a veterinary clinic to save money for a Uni (vet school) and work is the only way to get my mind off my horse. \n\nMy uncle makes me uncomfortable with some inappropriate ‘jokes’ mainly based on my gender. (As im career driven and don’t want children) he’s heavily Christian and I’m not it (I’m Atheist) makes it awkward for the family. We never talk maybe once a year at Christmas but that’s usually it.\n\nHe called me up and demanded that I take his children and babysit (for free) as he had to go shopping. I was literally in the car park of work and couldn’t call in sick (it was very busy that day, lots of appointments) he wanted me to take them to my house and look after him (45min drive from my house to theirs) I live on a farm it’s too dangerous for children, as well they are rough with my dog, which I don’t appreciate and I have confronted them about it. \n\nI told him I couldn’t I was working and it would be busy. I could take them another day but not now, I was working. He got mad and told me off, mainly about how I wouldn’t be a good mother and I wouldn’t fulfil my duty blah blah blah. I had enough and told him I didn’t like the inappropriate jokes and misogyny that he subjects me to. Then told him that I hope his kids don’t grow up to be as hateful like him and to never contact me again.\n\nMy family is telling me I crossed a line but he never did! I feel like it was the other way round? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all!  Good on you for standing up for yourself!  It definitely is the other way around.  Your uncle is a creep and entitled for demanding free babysitting with zero warning!  Continue standing up for yourself and cut that jerk out of your life with a clear conscience.  And stand up to the rest of your family and ask if they really approve of how he treated you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandmother has never been an active participant in my life, she’s never even been a passive participant. I never spent time with her, I never saw her. I always asked to see her because all my friends as kids talked about how amazing their grandparents were and I couldn’t say the same. She was never there. So as far as I see it I’ve never had a grandma\n\nRecently my grandma has been sorting out her will, Nan asked my mum if she’d be happy splitting some of their inheritance to give me and my brothers some. \n\nI said that because she spent so long avoiding me my entire life I want nothing from her. She took my niece and two nephews on expensive ass skiing holidays, presents, money at Christmas and birthdays. Presents for passing exams and doing things worth celebrating. She paid for every big school trip for my niece and nephews. \n\nWhere as she gave me and my brothers a multi bag of haribos once a week for a year and nothing else. Personally she has done nothing for me, she hasn’t been present in my life whatsoever. \n\nMy gran is giving my niece and nephews £12,000 each as well as her house in her will. My auntie, their mum, is getting £50,000. My mum is getting £10,000 while me and my brothers are getting £1,000 each. \n\nSo I said “I don’t want the money. My Nan has had such an insignificant impact on my life that I’d just rather not have the money because it would feel wrong accepting money from someone I don’t know” My mother told my grandma what I said. \n\nI haven’t been told the details. But apparently there was a lot of vulgar language thrown my way and that I’m incredibly disrespectful \n\nIt’s not about the money. Or at least I don’t think it is. It’s not about how much or how little I’d be getting. I just don’t know her so I don’t want anything from her ######","completion":" NTA at all, you're not obligated to take anything from someone who's essentially a stranger. Just curious though, do you know why she never met you guys? Why wouldn't your mom push for her to meet her grandkids? ######"}
{"prompt":"So as far as I’m concerned this is 100% gross... but another person told me that it’s nothing and I would be rude to bring it up to my roommate.\n\nMy roommate - every month - leaves her pads wide open, laying face up on top of the trash. I’m talking fully used, bloody pads. Face up. I wouldn’t care if someone just did this in their own private bathroom, but this is a bathroom that our guests use when we have them over, and it’s clear that my roommate never tries to fold the pads up or tuck them in the side of the trash. It’s honestly startling to walk in to the bathroom and see that everyday for a week, lol. And it’s just plain embarrassing when I notice it after our guests have already used the bathroom. Plus it smells sometimes.\n\n(Btw the trash has no lid and you’re pretty much looking right at it when you walk in, it’s not under a sink or anything.)\n\nI have 3 other roommates and some of them feel similarly, but a couple other people I asked said to ignore it and not get so worked up about it. I’m really tempted to bring this up to her, but I’m a guy. Is it inappropriate for me to say something to her about it? It really needs to stop. I grew up in a house full of girls and this never happened, the pads were always wrapped up in the trash. But I also don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up to her, or how I would even bring it up. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all, that’s gross and unsanitary. I’m a woman and I would never do that. Most pads come in a wrapper DESIGNED to hold the new clean pad and then wrap around the used one for disposal, there’s literally instructions on boxes. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me?\n\nI (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me.\n The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this. \nAITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######","completion":" NTA at all, I’m proud you’re going to therapy, keep that abuser out of your life. He’s no longer your brother, he’s your abuser. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't live in America, so tipping culture doesn't exist here. There are many reasons for this but the biggest would be that our minimum wage isn't ridiculously low like in America.  \n\n\nI'm a part-time worker who isn't a frivolous person, but today I received a promotion in the mail by Uber Eats for $15 off your first spend (I wouldn't have ordered otherwise). As normally, it's $20 +$10 delivery. But with this voucher code, it was a much more reasonable $15. So I lashed out and treated myself.   \n\n\nAnyway, long story short. The driver got the wrong house and didn't bother to verify anyone by name. He just handed it over to my next-door neighbour. It wasn't until I called up that I found this out. Generally, most take-outs would offer some compensation over such a gaffe. Now I'm not saying I expected one but I did observe that Uber Eats seems quite unique in this. But they ended up assigning me the same driver (which is perfectly fine).   \n\n\nWhen he arrived I had to stand outside my house and flag him down so he didn't miss me. And then he came up to me and said in the little English he knew, *''App yes?...''*. And smiled at me. I didn't know what he meant but it seemed pretty straightforward so I just nodded and said yes (I assumed he was asking for some kind of review as I think Uber does that). Which I was more than happy to do. So I smile and nodded. And then he said, *''Don't forget nice tip yes yes''*.   \n\n\nAnd now I'm kind of at a loss. I now feel guilty because I know the man wants a tip. But I also only did this because of the promotion. And I'm also shocked by the audacity of him out-right asking for a tip... But I don't know. I guess I'll just leave it with you guys.   \n\n\nAm I an asshole if I don't tip this man? ######","completion":" NTA at all, I’m also Australian and I feel like a lot of people responding don’t really get that tipping is basically not a thing here, except for some specific circumstances. I personally will tip my delivery drivers and whatnot if they do a good job and are friendly and nice, but this guy already messed up your order so definitely no need to tip. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mom and I share my YouTube account on our TV. However, I find it rather annoying and would prefer to keep it all to myself. Not because I have anything to hide, but it's just nice to me. It's nice not to have your recommendations butchered by other people's viewing habits, it's nice not to have your watch history clogged up by things somebody else has watched, and it's just nice to have something of your own, you know?\n\nI told her I could *easily* set up her own profile in 5 minutes where she can watch whatever she want whenever she wants on her *own* account. She refused, though, because apparently that's \"too much of a hassle\" and \"oh, you want to take away the last thing that we have together?\" (which is both bullshit, by the way), and after an entire argument she finally decided to \"let me set up her account on the 1st of August\"\n\nNow, I am wondering, am I the asshole for requesting that she stops using my account, and that I'll help her get her own account, instead? We came to a compromise I *guess*, and of course it is not the end of the world if we share an account but she kept insisting I am being cruel and rude for this. ######","completion":" NTA at all, and you're not obligated to do this, but maybe find something to do together instead? Just to 'soften the blow' of the account. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second. \n\nSo me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.\n\nNow fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude? \n\nLike I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######","completion":" NTA at all, and its good this tendency to make decisions on your behalf was revealed before you were living together. Consider this a bullet dodged and move on. ######"}
{"prompt":"\n\nMy parents are divorced. They've really been fighting a lot, and they fight a lot about material possessions.\n\nTry and one up each other getting me things, but also try to force me to leave them behind when I go to the other's houses, like they want their houses to be the best ones with the best things. Argue if I come home from the others house with things dirty or misplaced accusing the other of purposely stealing or destroying things.\n\nIt's ridiculous and it seems like a power play between them. And I'm sick of fighting over THINGS. Damn pieces of plastic or metal or whatever should not have this power over us.\n\nSo I told both my parents that THINGS that they fight about don't bring me happiness, they bring me sadness. And if there's any fighting or petty anger about a thing, I'm gonna give it away or throw it away because I'm sick of my life being ruled by stuff.\n\nI won't take gifts anymore because they always come with terms and drama\n\nAnd I have been doing it. I've gotten rid of most of what I own because of this pettiness. I really just have the bare minimum at each house. Both my parents had banned me from giving or throwing anything else away so now I've just picked a closet in each house that things go into, and once they're in they don't come out. If my parents try and take them out I put them back.\n\nIt's made me happier. No more fights about which parent \"stole\" a thing when that thing is gone. I don't have to remember as much about what I can take from house to house and what has to stay at one house so I won't start a fight\n\nBut both my parents are resentful of me for my switch in attitude. My mom is mad that I don't do some of my hobbies anymore and my dad is mad that I gave away things that he paid for.\n\nAITA for giving up as many possessions as I can? ######","completion":" NTA at all, and I'm so sorry that your parents are using you as a weapon against each other. \n\nThey absolutely need to figure their issues out without taking them out on you. Are they or you in counseling? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.\n \nI disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.\n \nI scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all fuck these time traveling bozos ! How is anyone supposed to change if the fucking world won’t let them!?! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (26M) ate something bad last night and had to spend a majority of the evening and this morning in the bathroom because I was sick. My girlfriend (24F) came and stayed over this weekend because it had been a while since we saw each other. As I mentioned above I had to spend a majority of the morning in the bathroom because I literally cant stop going, my insides feel like they are tearing each other apart. She decided to leave earlier than planned because \"she was bored\" and was just \"sitting around with her thumb up her ass\" while I was having an exorcism out of mine. Now shes angry at me because of that and because she felt bored when I was feeling sick and had to stay in the bathroom. AITA for not sucking it up and spending time with her?\n\nTl;dr Girlfriend left early because she was \"bored\" because I had to spend the morning in the bathroom due to eating something bad. ######","completion":" Nta at all but when someone shows you who they are believe them! ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside. \n\nLast night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort. \n\nWhen I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid. \n\nI grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read: \n\n“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”. \n\nThey ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox. \n\nAm I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash. \n\nFor clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######","completion":" NTA at all and those people are trash. Plain and simple. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWhen I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nBefore I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nWe've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.  \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all - she wants you to pay for rent when you're not there just so she can live above her means? Oh hell no\n\n  \nAlso, beautiful formatting - thank you ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m an eighteen year old girl and deathly single, so I have absolutely zero intention of marriage anytime soon but I ended up talking to my dad about marriage anyway a few days ago. He ends up saying something along the lines of “They’ll have to be good enough for me to give permission,”\n\nLet me assure you, I didn’t flip out or anything here but my reply was “I’d hope my future spouse would know well enough that I don’t want them to ask your permission. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions and I’m not to be bartered away like a farm animal in an outdated, sexist tradition.” I also mentioned that I certainly won’t be ‘given away’ at my wedding either, because again, I’m not property. \n\nWell, he totally flipped out. He said that it’s not sexist and he raised me my whole life he deserves to take part in these traditions because it’s his right as a father. I told him that I do want him to be a part of my future wedding, but not in the traditional sexist ways. Should I just suck it up and go through with the traditions that repulse me for his sake, or am I right to reject them?\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA at all - it can be a fun tradition, as long as everyone involved agrees but demanding it is just wrong.\n\nDoes he also expect you to ask your partner's father for approval or will this be settled by a duel? ######"}
{"prompt":"So my mom remarried when i was 12 although my step father is okay but he has his moments and my mom fully enables him . They have a son now who is three. \n\nMy step father turned vegan 6 months ago and so is my mom now. I used to think that i dont like vegan food and is not for me and because i started a job with the help of my friend's dad in the country club, i make a decent amount of money for 16 year old.\n\n When they turned vegan i started getting my own food. I pretty much started to feed myself and also started saving. I used to get take out alot and stopped eating with them because i genuinely don't like being around them.\n\nMy step father turned pretty nasty when he saw i had started earning and asked for rent. My mom shut that down thank god because the house belongs to my late father and I will fully own it once i turn 18. So he can't charge me rent i pointed out that since this house is still technically in my name shouldn't he be the one paying rent to me. He lost it. Started berating me and forbade me to ever eat meat in the house. My mom told me to just do what he says in fear of this turning ugly.\n\nSo i started eating the vegan food with them and actually enjoyed and i could save a lot by eating at home too. This has caused problem with the step father because now they have to feed me too so he said that he's sure i have learned my lesson and i can start eating whatever i want since that would mean they won't have to pay for it. I told them that i actually liked eating vegan and won't be touching meat now.\n\nWell he started yelling about how i am selfish when i can afford it and not doing it , my mom is also taking his side but she said she won't stop me from eating vegan food with them but i should really think this\n\nSo reddit aita? ######","completion":" NTA At 16 your parents should be paying for all necessities for you, including home and food, even if you have a job. Your dad sounds like a bully and your mom a pushover. ######"}
{"prompt":"In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself.  Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me.  Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in.  So I commuted for all 4 years of college.\n\nI worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out.  But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away.  We had to sell our house and move into an apartment.  My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house.\n\nAfter graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer.  Soon as the internship ended, I got a job.  My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home.  \n\nMy mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled. \n\nIt's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out.  I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######","completion":" NTA Asian here and went through the same thing with my mom. What I realized now is that I definitely could have moved out 10 years ago right after college because my parents definitely not need me then. But I was guilted into believing that they did so I stayed. But 10 years later (now) they actually do need me so I’m angry at myself for not moving out when I had the chance. So learn from my mistake, OP. Whenever Asian parents say that they can’t live without you, don’t believe them. They actually can if they’re in their 50s and early 60s. If they survived war and poverty in their home country and immigrated to this racist AF country and somehow make it, they can definitely live without you for a good decade. Rule of thumb: you don’t need to be with your parents until they’re close to being in their 70s. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman. \n\nI eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA as long as you weren’t doing stupid\/harmful things dressed like that go for it! Cosplay is for everyone of all sizes and genders. That’s like saying I can’t cosplay as a zombie because I’m not a zombie. The whole point of cosplay is to dress up as something\/someone you’re not. Keep up the great work! ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother moved in with us (me,wife,7 yr old) in mid January. He's just turned 20 a few days ago. He was in a bad situation and we agreed he could stay till he starts university in September. Doesn't cost us much extra for him to be here, mortgage, internet, water are all a fixed charge. So told him he would have to pay gas\/electric when the quarterly bill arrived he can pay the difference. We've fed him until recently so it's cost him £0 for groceries since mid Jan. Since then we have obviously had the virus and at the start he went to his sister's for dinner and I told him it's not acceptable to us to risk our daughters health (she has a undiagnosed epilepsy and is on disabled register) and he has to either be sensible and isolate as much as is possible or move out. He recently started a job, even though he's currently getting furlough (around £180 a month but he literally lives for free) and since starting the job he's been out to \"have a kick around\" with his 1 work colleague he works with. Today, he hasn't come home and messaged to say he's at his work mates house having a few beers.\n\nTomorrow, he's getting told to leave and I'll be giving him his immediately needed stuff and I'll drop the rest off when I can.\n\nI don't know if he will have anywhere to go, but I'm not risking my 7yo for him.\n\nAm I being overly cautious? We have a very low infection rate, around 100 known cases in 60,000 ######","completion":" NTA as long as you gave him multiple warnings ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright so, my vegan cousins are visiting from California in June, and before you object, we live on a rural farm and they're following all hygiene protocols when traveling so virus transmission is slim to none. But anyway, since we live on a farm, there's a lake on the land we own and I like to go fishing there every once in a while. Now, I've told them this so they know, but they've said stuff like, \"If you fish, we're not coming\", and \"You abuse fish by fishing\". The thing is, I stop after I catch one fish, and I only do it like 3 times a week, so it's not like I'm poaching an elephant every day. So yeah, AITA for fishing while they're here? ######","completion":" NTA As long as you don’t try to make them fish or make them eat the fish. \n\nHow long will they be there?  If it’s a short trip, you could voluntarily skip fishing for a while in the name of family harmony and being a good host. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.\n\nAnyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.\n\nMe and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no. \n\nAfter that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.\n\nI said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.\n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA as long as you don’t bring it up unprompted, because this will cause some conflict. But if he asks, you would not be TA if you answered truthfully imo. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”\n\nHaving heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)\n\nAs we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.\n\nShe told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.\n\nThey knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA as long as it’s ultimately his decision not to have his dad there and not just yours. Also you need to be ok with the outcome being that most likely his dad will no longer be any part of his life since this is basically a message saying we don’t want you in our lives. \nBut if that is ok and you will be happier with him no longer around then I guess go for it and continue your lives without his negativity. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (17M) have lived with a severely autistic brother (18) for my entire life. He is nonverbal, self-injurious, aggressive, and needs a full time caretaker (currently my mother). My parents chose to become his legal guardians when he turned 18, and don’t seem to be considering grouphomes. They told me that I will eventually have to take him off their hands because they will be too old and frail to take care of him. I refused, saying that he is not my responsibility and they should start looking for a suitable grouphome to place him in because I’m not going to waste my life being a caretaker and wiping shit off someone’s ass. My parents got offended and said that caring for my brother would not be a waste, and I’m just being selfish. They later asked if I would at least be his advocate and communicate with a future grouphome and his doctors to make sure he is being treated correctly. I also said no, knowing that it would escalate into more responsibilities for me and that I do not want to be associated with him at all. They told me to give up my dream of becoming a doctor if I can’t even care for my family and that my grades are too low to be accepted anyways so I may as well be looking out for him. I have bipolar disorder myself and am super irresponsible even with the things that I care deeply about. I can’t stand my brother at all. He drives everyone in this house crazy with his aggression, and it’s honestly insulting that my parents think they can just throw that responsibility on ME. They call me an asshole for not loving him and not wanting to release them from this burden. I work at a fast food restaurant and make more money than my mom does for attendant care. Even if reddit labels me as the asshole here, I am not going to be taking care of him. ######","completion":" NTA as harsh as your words are it's not your responsibility and you have to live your own life. It's a HUGE responsibility and even if you were 100% up for it at the get go it would be extremely difficult. It sucks that he's disabled it really does but it shouldn't be a life sentence for you too. \n\nI'll probably be in the minority here so SMASH THAT DOWN VOTE BUTTON ! ######"}
{"prompt":"I was married to Jason for thirteen years and we shared two children, Hannah is twelve and Noah is nine. Our marriage ended rather abruptly but it didn’t come as a big surprise. We hadn’t been happy for years.\n\nJason began dating Emily who is fifteen years his junior shortly after the divorce. They’ve been married now for three years and she’s thirty so it’s not like he married some college kid but I still have an issue with her lack of maturity sometimes.\n\nThis was all very hard on Hannah. She doesn’t like Emily and is in counseling to deal with her jealousy towards her. The truth is I don’t like Emily very much either but I do expect my kids to be respectful.\n\nHannah came to me crying last night and told me that when she was at her dads this weekend she put Emily’s toothbrush in the toilet. I guess Jason found her doing this and he said it was really funny and to let him see the toothbrush. He scrubbed the toilet and I guess she thought they were going to prank Emily together but when he was done he told Hannah to brush her teeth with it. \n\nNow I fully understand how wrong Hannah was but I can’t get the image of her crying and gagging while being forced to use the toothbrush out of my head. He then made her tell Emily what she had done and do chores to earn money to buy a new toothbrush. I’m fine with that but actually making her out it in her mouth pissed me off.\n\nI’ll admit I don’t know if this was all about Hannah. Jason’s been a different person since he met Emily and it’s hard to watch him fawn over his gorgeous thirty year old wife. I called at one in the morning and I could tell I woke him and I went off on him. I told him how selfish he is and how he puts Emily before our kids. Still I feel like some of this was motivated by my own feelings so AITA? ######","completion":" NTA As a mandated reporter, I promise you that this punishment was abusive. If I were to actually know you or your child I'd have a legal and moral obligation to report it. This was so over the line. I think in the future that family counseling with Hannah and Emily may be worthwhile to try, separate from both parents. I'm so sorry that your ex thought this was an appropriate thing to do. As a parent myself, I'd also be overwhelmingly furious if that happened to my child. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.\n\nMy sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine. \n\nToday my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.\n\nAfter dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.\n\nI told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA as a fellow eating disorder sufferer, I can sympathize with your sister and I hope she continues to get better physically. But theres a huge line shes crossing there. I understand it probably hurt but as a lot of other people have said shes not going to be able to live her life avoiding her triggers entirely. ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently moved in with my boyfriend, he is 6ft or taller while I'm 5'1, since I moved into his place everything is arranged to the way he likes, everything necessary is on the top shelf in the kitchen.\n\nI took catering which means I am the better cook out of the two of us (although he cooks the best cookies) which means I'm the one in the kitchen but a majority of the time I need something I have to either climb on a chair or the sides to get the stuff out of the cupboard, I've slipped several times now thanks to our dog jumping up.\n\nI absolutely hate doing this.\n\nI've talked to him about rearranging and he's always put it off.\n\nI rearranged it since I'm the one who does the cooking it shouldn't be a problem? I mean I've lived here for 8 months now and the only thing that's mine in the flat is like a candle and he hates it so its never lit.\n\nHe threw a tantrum and told me I shouldn't have rearranged his things and how out of order it was etc, how he had it set up the way he liked and it's been that way for 4 years.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA Are you sure he really wants you to live there? ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I know the title sounds like I am the asshole here but hear me out. I have a walk in closet attached to my bathroom you have to go in the bathroom to get to the closet. Currently I moved my work stuff in the walk in (its HUGE) because I needed space I can work in quiet and the area has to be able to lock.  I don't mind being attached to the bathroom most of the time, its our master bathroom so no one really uses it but us. We do have another bathroom across the apartment that is perfectly usable. My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous that when I am working I ask him to not poop in the bathroom ATTACHED TO THE CLOSET WHERE I HAVE TO WORK. Its not a big deal to go across the apartment and poop in the other one but it causes this BIG thing every time. A few minutes ago he goes to poop in the bathroom again and I reiterate that I don't want to work and have to sniff his shit the whole time and he tells me I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I told him it was a big deal to me and I don't understand why he has to be selfish about it and not just use the other bathroom. He walked away this time shutting both doors and not pooping but I know he's mad I called him selfish about it. As ridiculous as this is, Reddit am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA are you secretly talking about a cat here?  This sounds like a litter box issue, because I can’t understand why a human would want to poop in the room directly next to you when there is another bathroom available. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend and l(both 18f) we were always a bit on the heavier side. We would get teased at school but it was nothing malicious. She would always take offence so l asked my classmates to stop it when she was around and they did.\n\nAll was well until graduation ( last year) when the girls of the class thought we should arrange a beach holiday for us girls. When we were alone(my friend and l)I joked that we should start getting beach body ready. She took the joke seriously and agreed. \n\nSo when 2020 started l changed up my diet and started exercising. The progress was slow but steady but it was paying off. Then when lockdown was in place l started up the old xbox 360 and continued with the routine. I am not at my goal but l am getting there.\n\nAnyways, I was feeling proud of my progress so l put on my status how l may be beach body ready even though we aren't going to the beach.  She sees this and gets mad.\n\nShe says l have betrayed her and we agreed to do this together and accused me of hating my body etc things of that nature. \n\nI felt guilty about not informing her but I thought l am not in the wrong. \n\nReddit, do you agree? ######","completion":" NTA anyone waiting for someone else to start before they do something is looking for an excuse not to start. She could have taken the initiative at any point in her life to make the jump to becoming what she claims she wants to be. She's mad that you actually took the steps and are progressing. It makes her look bad because now she's alone in the bigger side of weight. Now instead of trying to better herself she's trying to tear you down because it's easier than having to do the work. If she can't get over it then you can move on with your life. You don't need people like that in your life. ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been bothering me for a while now,\n\nBut in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife. \n\nAnd another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.\n\nHe is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.\n\nMost people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.\n\nSo I’m not sure ######","completion":" NTA and\n\n>genetics were inferior\n\nEugenics went the way of the DoDo in 1945. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, \"Because I'm the parent and I say so.\" Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######","completion":" NTA and your parent's behavior  is super inappropriate and damaging. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA and your friends suck too ######"}
{"prompt":"The timeline on this one is kind of extended, sorry\n\nOctober 2015 - Sister announces her engagement and sets the date for February 2017\n\nJanuary 2016 - my wife and I announce we're expecting a baby after 4 years of trying. We waited until after the first appointments so we could tell mother the due date - Sept 21. Now, our 6yo had been a month and a half early, and the doctor warned us it could very well be the case again, so we knew we probably wouldn't make it to the 21st. Sister immediately announces she's moved the wedding up to Sept 3rd, and the chaos ensues. My wife and I knew from the start if the wedding was so close to the due date, we probably wouldn't be able to make it. Neither Mother nor Sister handle this news well, and we argue for several months\n\nJuly - mother agrees to take my daughter to the wedding and keep her over night so she can still be the flower girl.\n\nAugust - Mother forgets this arrangement and says she and Dad want to party the night before so they didn't want to be responsible for a child. She told me I was expected to either stay the night, or drive out, drop her off the day of, and either drive back (4 hours round trip) or stay for the wedding. I told her my sister would unfortunately have no flower girl, as my wife is in prodromal labor and cannot make it to the bathroom without several contractions.\n\nThe week of the wedding, the entire family keeps blowing up my phone. Sister decided to make it an extended camping trip for the family and wedding party. My parents took 5 days off for the wedding, and spent that time trying a combination of yelling and guilt tripping to get me to go.\n\nSept 3 - the wedding proceeds and my wife and I are in the hospital (AGAIN) for a stress test because she has been having contractions for 3 hours. We hear nothing from the family.\n\nSept 7 - my wife is admitted into the hospital. The baby is born at 4:23am the next morning.\n\nAITA for not attending the wedding without my wife? ######","completion":" NTA and your entire family SUCK. Sorry you’re having to deal with them! ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently got a new job (past month) and my boss has two young toddlers who instantly became attached to me. They have a full time nanny, but because they like me so much they have started hanging out around the work place to “help” me. I don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how I do my job and letting them participate, and my boss has expressed how grateful she is for my patience with them and has started leaving me alone with both of them regularly during my work hours. Then yesterday out of the blue she sent me a pretty blunt text message telling me that she is not happy with my level of efficiency at work and that it, “Should not take four hours to do X amount of work.” I totally agree with her that it is taking me way too long to get work done, at my last job I would get almost 3 times the amount of work done in the same amount of time. I just feel like it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect me to work efficiently at my job when I’m also doing the job of her nanny and babysitting two young children\/teaching them how to do everything.Am I being unreasonable? What do I even say to her next time I see her? I don’t know how to explain to her that I can’t work efficiently when I have to pace myself with a four-year-old. ######","completion":" NTA and your boss' text gives you the perfect opportunity to point this out to her.  Reply \"I agree.  As much as I enjoy spending time with \\[kids' names\\], it's not possible to watch them and work efficiently at the same time.  Let's talk tomorrow and you can let me know which one you'd like me to focus on.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home. \n\nThis evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######","completion":" NTA and you're honestly probably lucky she only started dating him when you were 19. It sounds like he enjoys the power more than the actual intent. Not putting away an appliance is not a reason for a screaming match. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.\n\nThis morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######","completion":" NTA and you should def complain to HR ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.\n\nEdit:\n\n* I am currently attending university. ######","completion":" NTA and you really should consider moving out. If they’re asking you for more money now it’s only going to get worse. They sound awful with money if their logic is truly to spend everything you have. Who doesn’t understand the concept of saving? ######"}
{"prompt":"Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.\n\nMy boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.\n\nAITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######","completion":" NTA and you need to do more than just step back. Your partner doesn't care how you are treated by his children. He dismisses your feedback and requests for help. \n\nDump him and find someone that not only respects you, but also cares how their relatives treat you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ######","completion":" NTA and you know it, making this a confirmation post which sucks and almost makes you TA.\n\nThis is reddit, gay good, homophobia bad, not sure what you wanna read here ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have 2 daughters (10f,14f) and I have a son (13m). My son and daughter (10f) aren't really in this situation \n\nMy 14 year old daughter has never liked pork. Me and my son love to eat it, so it's on the table a lot of the time. And my daughter would sometimes eat the pork, but never really liked it. \n\nAbout a few months ago my daughter came up to me and told me she has decided she wants to stop eating pork completely. \n\nAnd of course I've supported her in her decision. I started buying Turkey pepperoni and I would make a steak ormake some chicken whenever we were having pork. I'm just trying to make her happy. \n\nA few days ago my daughter came up to me and asked if we would stop eating pork around her because she feels like we aren't being supportive of her decision. \n\nI told her I absolutely support her, but I'm going to eat it when I want. She then said that by not supporting her I'm a horrible father. And I told her that I have made sure that she doesn't have to eat any of the pork by cooking other meats instead. She then stormed off and complained to my wife.\n\nMy wife says that we should just stop eating it all around. But I told her that's not happening. \n\nSo AITA ######","completion":" NTA and you handled it great. You are supporting her decision 100% by buying alternate ingredients and making meals that accommodate her. \n\nShe cannot dictate what everyone else in the house eats. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my youngest SIL and BIL, husband's brother, moved into my MIL's house after my FIL died. We thought it was a good idea at first.\nShe'd have help around the house and yard.\n\nExcept that's not what happened.\n\nMy MIL cooks for them, washes their clothes and dishes. My husband goes over to mow the yard and do yard work.\n\nSo, 3 times a week(pre-covid),I'd take  my MIL out. We'd spend most of the day together. My sister in law HATES these days and always tries to get mom to stay.\n\nShe needs help with her 3 children after all. They are all still in diapers and she hates leaving them in dirty ones for so long. She refuses to change diapers. \n\nSo, I've intentionally put my sister in law out to give mom a break. I also make a point that mom isn't her maid every time I go over ######","completion":" NTA and you are a dream daughter in law.  I hope MIL realizes.  \nAlso your SIL and BIL sound awful.  Who refuses to change their own child’s’ diapers.  I bet MIL doesn’t want to say anything for fear of causing an argument but I really think she needs to not be their maid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I graduated before my boyfriend so I've been working for 4 months drawing a decent salary while my boyfriend is finishing up his final semester in uni. We started discussing about our next chapter in life, including marriage and finances plans.\nWe both plan to pool a fixed amount of our income together into a joint account after marriage, which will further spilt into sub categories such as household expenses, vacation fund, kids' education fund, etc.\nNow this is where the difference comes in. The money that I have left after contributing the fixed amount into the joint account and after savings, I wanted to keep the remaining as a personal expandables that I can spend on fun things that I like, for myself. My boyfriend however wanted to pool both of our expendables together, which will fund either of our 'splurge'. That essentially means I have to go through him whenever I want to splurge on myself.\nIt's fine if we're both frugal or equal spenders. I'm however a spender while he's frugal. I believe in treating myself for the little happiness in life, within my means, to motivate myself for work and for life. He however believes in minimizing spending and transferring the max amount he can from the expandable fund into savings at the end of every month.\nIf we were to pool our expandables, that is essentially pooling 100% of our income together. He views keeping our own personal money as 'drawing too thick a line' and it isn't couple-like. He wants to view us as one entity. I however foresee future problems and arguments arising from pooling 100% of our money together, due to income inequality and differences in spending habits, which can be avoided if we were to have the joint account and personal money separated.\nAITA for not wanting to pool our personal expandables fund and 100% of our income together? ######","completion":" NTA and you already know it will cause friction if he's frugal and you're a spender. Both are fine once nobody is rude.\n\nIf you are pooling let's say 3k each then what you have after that should stay in your personal account and you can add periodically to your joint account. You need to have money on your side for yourself that you use without judgement. I didn't study and work to be judged for my Olaf from frozen socks lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Fiance works nights as a nurse, we’re moving this week to our new home. Last night she went to work around 7PM and I was packing boxes. We had previously agreed we wouldn’t move any boxes that night because 1) I didn’t anticipate getting enough done\/packed worth moving and 2) she was worried about me injuring my back because I did in a previous move.\n\nAround 10PM I reached a stopping point and sat down, and came upon a weather report indicating snow Sunday\/Monday. This wasn’t considered in our plan for the weekend and was a change in circumstance. I made a judgement call to begin moving boxes myself for the next 3-4 hours, so we would have enough time to get everything moved that wouldn’t fit inside an enclosed car today.\n\nFiance came home this morning and is extremely angry. She wants me to go undo all the work I did last night and bring the boxes back here. She said I’ve “ruined her move into our new house”. She also called the few family members we were having come over this morning and asked them not to show up. She told me I can do the rest of the packing and the moving myself. For reference I’d say I only did 25% of the work myself yesterday.\n\nSo AITA? I was trying to be helpful, and I realize that I went against the agreement we had but I felt the circumstances justified my actions. ######","completion":" NTA and what the hell? I could understand if she was angry because you put yourself in danger of straining your back. But how did you \"ruin\" the move? And then she stops family members from coming over and tries to force you into doing it all yourself? \n\nWhat am I missing here? This can't be the only crazy thing she's ever done ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (16F) like to bake, I buy my own ingredients and make something every week or so. I share with my mom and sister (21F), and sometimes her friends if they're over. Its not like I can eat everything myself anyway. This happens every week ish, for the past year? Year and a half? For a while. \n\nSo I few days ago when I finished work (grocery store) I texted my sister to ask if there was any food, or if I needed to buy some. She told me there was food, so I went straight home. \n\nWhen I came home there was no food, there was meat in the freezer but no time to defrost, no bread, no eggs, not much. Couldn't order food, since it was past 9 pm. \n\nMy sister had ordered two pizzas, so I asked if I could have a few slices, I offered to pay for them. She refused, she wanted to eat them for lunch the next day. I offered to pay for the whole pizza, so she could order a fresh one tomorrow for lunch, she refused again. \n\nThis wouldn't have been an issue if she told me there was no food, I would have bought something on my way home. But she apperently didn't check. I ate some plain rice with salt, it wasn't too bad. But I'm still annoyed she's been eating my baking all this time, and couldn't spare two slices of pizza. I even offered to pay, she doesn't pay for the baking, even though she makes much more than I do. She's been acting a bit entitled with the baking already, getting annoyed when I didn't make something she wanted or enough for her to take to her friends, so this was extra annoying. \n\nSo the next time I baked something and she came to grab some I told her no. I don't want to share. She got annoyed and told me I could have some pizza (which had been in the fridge for 3 days) if it's *such* a big deal. I refused again, I don't get much joy from cooking for her anymore. \n\nMy mom thinks it's petty, but doesn't want to get involved. My sister has been huffy about it. But I don't feel like I have to share at this point. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and what a weird family dynamic where a 16-year-old is accustomed to having to offer to pay for every slice of pizza they ask for from their adult sister. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed. \nWhen we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.\nHer family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.\nShe ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise\/magic of a once in a lifetime event.\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and what a lovely proposal. What's important was that she loved it and she loves you and you're gonna spend your lives together ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a 12yo dog, very docile and friendly. I've been quite attached to him even more due to the fact that I lived through many hard times in life where my only companion was him. My friends and family couldn't care less for me during these periods.  \n\nA few years ago I begun to get involved with the person who's now my fiancee. When I realized that things would get serious I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I said \"Before you commit I have to warn you that my dog is extremely important to me. He sleeps in my bed and I care very much for him. You don't have to accept it, that's why I'm bringing this up before we get serious\". She gladly accepted.  \n\nA few months later she decided that it was unacceptable to have him on the bed. I reminded her that I warned her first, but we both agreed that when she's with me I'd let the dog sleep on another bed in other room and wash our bed sheets and stuff.  \n\nShe has this retroactive jealously and I find it quite difficult to live with. We discuss every two weeks because she wants to be the one focus of attention in my life. Now she's trying to 1 - compare her jealously with her having to accept my dog, as if one thing was compensating another, and 2 - trying to limit even the attention I give to my dog during any time of the day. Bare in mind that I'm not a very socially active person, my few friends are all men and I even work at home, so there's not even \"that girls from the office\" for her to complain.  \n\nAITA for not attending to her current demands and saying that's beyond too much? ######","completion":" NTA And uh, please never have kids with her. If she can't handle you loving a dog, that would be a nightmare scenario. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) have been dating a 27 year old man for about three months now. The relationship is slow moving but nice- we see each other 1-2 times a week and generally have a great time together. Here's the issue. This dude teases me ALL the time. Constant ribbing kind of stuff, poking fun. I like the banter most of the time, and tend to do it right back. All is fun and games, except for the fact that this dude can dish it out like it's no one's business, but can NOT take it. He pokes fun at everything about me, even to the point where it's made me kind of upset. I've brought it up but it doesn't seem to faze him....but the moment I cross any imaginary perceived line on his side, he goes on like i'm some sort of roast master and that he only teases me in retaliation....which is completely not true, as he usually starts it.\n\nThe whole thing is really getting out of hand and is seriously making me question my own actions. For instance, he constantly comments on my outfits (making fun of floral prints, etc.) so when he showed up one day straight from four wheeling, I told him he looked like a barn yard animal and he lost his shit and immediately insulted what I was wearing. When I brought it up, he said he only insults my outfits because I do it to him. Last week we went to a party, and he made me a drink. It was really bitter, and I don't like bitter drinks. I was really tispy, so I apparently kept bringing it up at the table jokingly and asking for sugar. He hasn't talked to me for days and is PISSED that I \"purposefully embarrassed him in front of our friends...\" coming from the same man who refused to try my cake later that night out of spite. Once I realized I had hurt his feelings by insulting his drink so many times, I apologized a lot and said I would stop the ribbing and watch what I say...but I can't help but feel gaslighted. So what do you think Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and uh you’re right to feel gaslighted because that’s what’s happening ######"}
{"prompt":"TLDR: Friends borrow\/given money. Splurge money. Expect more. \n\n\nAs the pandemic started, I knew several friends that would be out of work. Bartenders\/wait staff, etc. \n\nI starting reaching out to help if I could. A few took me up on the offer... many didn’t. \n\nTwo in particular really rubbed me the wrong way. \n\nOne needed money and I gave it to her. Then I saw in social media her going out and partying. Later she asked for a $300 loan until payday (she had been getting some hours at work). She said LOAN. She set the date. There were expectations set. On that day, I have her until about noon and hadn’t heard anything. FB post.. she’s on her way to Florida for the beach. I text her and ask about payday. She asks if she can just give me part of the money (never acknowledges that she’s literally at the beach and has posted pics of crab legs she’s eating). I mull this over for a few hours and ask for the payment in full. I get a cash app transfer in full and not a single word since (3 weeks now)\n\nAnother friend. Had an $800 bill due. I give $500 and she was like “that won’t pay the bill!”  Later she sets up Onlyfans site and invites me to join to “help each other out”. I ignore the message. 2 weeks go by.. she drives to FL and spent the weekend at the beach. Then flew to New England and spent a week posting pics of her and her friends eating, drinking and beach going. This morning “hey!  I’m trying to move ASAP. My car insurance is due .......”\nMy response to her is still pending.....\n\nAITA???!!!??? ######","completion":" NTA and those people are **users**, certainly **not** your friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.\n\nThere's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.\n\nWhen I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it \"off limits\" for my eating in their mind.\n\nAITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######","completion":" NTA and this is also such a pure post. \n\nI buy food for myself and my dog begs for it so I give him little pieces bc he is the cutest goodest boy. Is he the asshole for taking those little pieces from me bc I bought it for myself? No way. \n\nAlso whoever criticized you for it is delusional and an asshole themselves. Maybe find new friends. \n\nYou’re cooking your dog people food, you didn’t just buy a bag of dog food, like that is so sweet, you obviously love and care for your dog.\n\nIf you were eating all of your dog’s food and they were starving as a result, then it would be a different story, but this is obviously not the case based off your post. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other. \n\nI asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way. \n\nMy FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”\n\nMy fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######","completion":" NTA and the great aunt sounds like a wet sponge. Ignore her. ######"}
{"prompt":"It has been difficult finding alone time with my wife since our kids never seem to leave the house these days, so we have been using my office as a place to meet for sex. It's convenient since my employees have all been working from home and my office is private (floor below me is unoccupied). \n\nOne of my daughters had been looking for a way to earn some extra money, so a few weeks ago I told her I would pay her if she helped me organize some of my paperwork and files at my office. I didn't give her a set day. I told her do it whenever she had time as long as she did it before the summer ended. \n\nI thought she would tell me when she planned to stop by, but she didn't. She showed up one day when my wife was there and we were in a weird position.\n\nMy wife sometimes like to role play that she is another woman, and that day she happened to be wearing a wig. She was also position so that my daughter couldn't see her face. My daughter didn't recognize it was her mother and yelled at me for being a cheater and then left. \n\nI wanted to immediately give her a call and for us to tell her that the other woman was her mother, but my wife wanted to keep her identity a secret because she was embarrassed about what she was wearing and being caught giving me oral. She said that she would never be able to look at our daughter again if she knew it was her and wanted to instead tell our daughter that we have an open marriage. \n\nI told her I would not let our daughter think I was having sex with other women, so I called her up and told her that it was her mother and if she didn't believe me I would show her the wig and she'd find her mom's car parked in the alley behind my building. \n\nMy wife was not happy with this. She says that I've destroyed her imagine in the eyes of our daughter and she will now think of her differently, which I don't believe. \n\nAITA for telling our daughter the truth instead of lying to protect my wife's \"image\"? ######","completion":" NTA and the fact that your wife is willing to let it look like you’re a cheater so she can protect her own feelings is appalling ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 45F and my Husband 50M has a 16-year-old son. He is a good kid, good grades, respectful, does his chores, etc. Last Summer my son said that he wanted a new computer. To his credit, he got a part-time job and saved up for it, and built a pretty nice gaming PC. We are really proud of him, as he saved for it nearly all summer.\n\nMy sister and her husband have recently moved in with us. They have a 9-year-old son. My sister has a history of IDK how to put it, being entitled. She thinks her kid can do no wrong and spoils her kid.\n\nWell when they came over, my nephew noticed my son's PC. He asked if he can play on it, my son said not now. That was the end of it for a couple of days. Again, my nephew wanted to play on it. I asked my son if he minded sharing, he said he would rather not since its expensive and doesn't want it to break. This has caused a big argument. My sister says its extremely unfair to my nephew because he doesn't have a system to play on, just his iPad, so my son should have to share. I told her it's his PC not mine, he paid for it so it's up to him. She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. I said I'm not, but I'm not going to force my son to share his own computer. My nephew ended up having a huge fit, which she then blamed me for his fit, but gave him 3 more hours of iPad time to quiet him down.\n\nIts been 4 days and my sister hasn't brought it up directly again, just being passive-aggressive. While on one hand, I don't want to make my kid share, because it's his computer, he saved up for it and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do, to force my kid to share. On the other hand, I do feel kinda bad for my nephew, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and thank you for not being one of the \"if he's under 18 he doesn't own anything\" parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend decided to break up with me 2 weeks ago after admitting she’s been unfaithful and she’s pregnant with a child that’s almost definitely not mine. \n\nI was stunned at first I can’t lie because we’ve been together since 2017 and I just never thought she would have it in her to cheat, but hey ho that’s the way it goes sometimes and tbh I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later cuz I am NOT ready to be a father. \n\nWith everyone going on I was in survival mode and agreed she could stay in my house for the time being, however things are beginning to tense up cuz she is helping herself to my shit like she’s still in a relationship with me. \n\nI told her she needed to hurry up and find somewhere new to live especially because she’s eating into my resources and frankly I don’t want to be responsible for her financially or otherwise. I’m telling you she’s going through a LOT. \n\nShe said she has nowhere else to go right now so I said in that case you’re gonna have to be asking your parents for money so you can contribute financially. It’s not like I’m even asking for rent or utilities but just to cover shit like food and water. \n\nI can’t afford to keep both of us afloat and she has no job so I defo don’t feel obliged to help her out. \n\nAnyway she literally called all of our friends ALL of whom are calling me an evil bastard, so am I the asshole cuz I sure as hell don’t feel like one but they’re saying otherwise? ######","completion":" NTA and tell her to go home to her parents.  They can quarantine her for 14 days in the basement.  She is not your problem anymore. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24\/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING. \n\nfast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped\/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and someone needs to tell him to buckle up- does he realize what he's in for watching childbirth and caring for a baby?  It's not all pristine unicorns and rainbows ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have a niece and nephew, my nephew is 3 and my niece is 5 months old. Ever since my nephew was born my sister has just randomly dropped him off anytime she wanted without even asking me first. Most of the time she will drop them off with 20 bucks and expect me to watch them on the spot. I usually just end up watching them because they are just kids and did nothing wrong, but at the same time how are you going to drop your kids off to someone else and expect them to drop everything they are doing for you every time. Just recently she started texting me asking me to when it's late at night and I am in bed, then she will drop them off anyways even if I don't reply.  \n\n\nNow don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew, even though my niece always cries when her mom leaves and my nephew needs to learn how to use his inside voice some, but they are great kids and I love them lots.  \n\n\nSo now as of yesterday I had just found out one of the people from my second family had just passed away, he was only 40. The reason I told that is to tell this, saw a post on fb yesterday about my mom saying she would watch my niece and nephew again while my sister worked, and my sister replied that she explained everything in text. I know I am a bit of a jerk for snooping through my moms text to her (only the ones from the previous conversation), but apparently my sister knew my friend who was like family to me had passed and proceeded to tell my mom \"Your son can watch them for 5 minutes\", then she proceeded to b\\*\\*\\*\\* my mom out for giving my niece formula when she's told her no in the past.  \n\n\nI don't really feel like it's my responsibility to watch her kids, even though I do enjoy their company and love seeing them, but still is it really my responsibility to watch them.  \n\n\nSo am I the jerk here for not wanting to watch my sisters kids whenever she wants me too. ######","completion":" NTA and sister is. Tell them you aren’t willing to do it any more unless you have arrangements at least a few days in advance. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister, (27) thinks that i (31M) can’t own a cat because I’m a man, but it goes far beyond that. Whenever she came over she would always throw stuff at my cat or would lock it in a closet, making me search for her for hours and leaving me to put her up for a hotel. She always tells me that the next time she sees my cat she’s going to take her and give her away because it’s “gay” to have cats? We’re having a family reunion at my house the day quarantine is over to celebrate my parent’s retirement and while making preparations, I told my sister that I refuse to let my sister stay at my house. Well she apparently already booked arrangeable plane tickets and worked it out with work but I told her that she should cancel because my cat is apart of my family and if she wants to get rid of it then she can’t participate in the family reunion. My sisters pretty pissed, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and shes an animal abuser\/homophobic(?) ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m unsure if this is rude and\/or ridiculous, so Reddit can be the judge. \n\nMy friend, L, very adamant about saving herself until marriage. (we are both 21F.) It wasn’t even just for her, she would shame and side eye people who weren’t married and sleeping together, even one of our mutual friends. She wholeheartedly believed that was a sin, as she was very religious. \n\nHowever, she got boyfriend, and they ended up sleeping together, told me that herself. (Edit: she told me he took her virginity.) One thing led to another and they broke up amicably. \n\nAfter that, we were hanging out and she went off on a tangent saying, “girls need to respect themselves and not sleep around, that’s what husbands are for.”\n\nMe: “Does that make you one of those girls?”\n\nL: “What are you talking about?”\n\nMe: “I mean, you had sex.”\n\nI explain that is doesn’t have to be shameful and she can just not do it again until she’s married if she pleases. She seemed to be in disbelief that she’s not a virgin anymore. She also seemed upset that I mentioned that to her. \n\nI mean we’re 21, I hope she knows what sex is. \n\nAITA for pointing this out?\n\nEDIT: Oh wow! I didn’t expect this to blow up, haha. I do have one thing to say, when my friend says “sleeps around” also she believes any girl in a relationship that’s having sex is also sleeping around, because she is being unfaithful to her future husband. That was poor wording on my part, I was reusing her words, though. :) ######","completion":" NTA And she is a hypocrite. How does she think she can have sex and still be a virgin? ######"}
{"prompt":"We (30\/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.\n\nI'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.\n\nAnyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.\n\nFinally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said \"I thought you didn't want any\". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.\n\nI asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.\n\nWe continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.\n\nAm I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.\n\nThank you! ######","completion":" NTA and seriously,  do you even want to be with someone this selfish? What possible benefit are you having from this arrangement? ######"}
{"prompt":"I live one hour away from my parents, in a house with 5 housemates. Without asking, my mom called me to not ask, but TELL me that my sister will be moving in. \n\nMy sister? She lives with my parents. She is 18 and a slob. My parents have kept my room as is since I’ve moved out. I sleep in my old room when I come to visit. Once, I found a used condom in my old room because she snuck a guy upstairs. Why my old room? Because it's clean. Her room is not only messy, but musty, because of all the old food\/moldy starbucks fermenting in there.  \n\nMy sister didn’t ask. My mom didn’t ask. I was just told. I live in a small room that cannot accommodate another bed, and the bed I currently have now is a twin. They expect me to continue paying for my rent without pitching in. But most of all, I refuse to share my room with a slob. What do I do? AITA if I refuse?\n\nI told them no. That I would have to ask my landlord and housemates first. My mom doesn’t believe my landlord nor my housemates have a say because I “pay for it.” My response: \"Ok so since one of my roommates has a bf and she pays her rent, does that mean he can live with us? No, I don’t think so. That’s not how it works.” \n\nTL;DR: My mother informed me that my slob of a sister will be moving in to my tiny room without asking. AITA for refusing? ######","completion":" NTA and quite frankly, it would be inappropriate for you to even ask the landlord or housemates. ######"}
{"prompt":"Lately when my wife gets upset at me for something I do,  she’ll “be upset” for like 10 minutes then she’ll play it off as acting and she’ll say “I got you!” But I don’t like this and I don’t think it’s a healthy way to handle being upset. Instead of talking about it and her telling me what’s making her upset so we can get through it and work on making it better, she does this.\n\nUsually it’s over stupid trivial things, but sometimes it’s over more serious situations too. Her “acting” has lasted sometimes for 30 minutes or more.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and props to you for being a healthy adult\/partner and communicating with her instead of avoiding this (probably) uncomfortable topic ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes to watch other men having sex with my sister, then after he (excuse the TMI) sucks the other guys semen out of my sister. I’m also a woman btw, I’m guessing she wouldn’t tell me all this if I weren’t...but who knows. \n\nSo anyway I recently came across this book on Amazon about “hotwifing” and I linked it to her, saying “since Steve is a cuck I assume he’d get a kick out of this.” No response...odd. I thought maybe I misunderstood the books premise but whatever. \n\nThen I get a response in EMAIL later, with Steve CCed, saying that it’s unacceptable for me to call him “the C word” because that’s a name only those in the cuckold community can use for each other, and that unless I personally plan to cuck Steve (theyre not asking me to, obviously) that I can’t call him a cuck. She said that from now on any communications about Steve have to be said with him on the thread and I need to apologize for the slur. \n\nThis feels...extra, I mean...a slur to me is related to race\/gender but not a kink that someone chooses. She stopped short of saying this is the N word for the hotwifing community but did say she would liken it to the F word (the homophobic one.) \n\nI didn’t apologize the way she wanted...I said I’m sorry I said it, but this new policy of cc’ing Steve is super weird and I’m worried it might Also be a kink? ######","completion":" NTA and people sure have gotten loose with the term slur. I’d ask your sister to save her stories for someone else. Who wants to hear about it, let alone be lectured about their lack of kink sensitivity or whatever when they try to respond. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?\n\nAwhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin. \n\nAlso mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.\n\nAnd now this is where it gets complicated. \n\n1 week later:\n\nL: what are we doing for my birthday? \n\n(In my mind I was confused, because \n1. L told me she was going to a cabin \n2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)\n\nMe: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?\n\nL: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?\n\nMe: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.\n\nL: you’re ruining my birthday \n\nAfter she said that I stopped responding to her. \nAnd to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day? \nAlso I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!\nI ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me? \nAITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ######","completion":" NTA and not sure why you’re referring to this person as a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"Writing on mobile. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to include the messages as they were sent without using imgur.\n\nMy mum has a habit of taking photos of me and used to post them to the book of faces without asking. I have always been self concious about my apperance, and now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and huge, my confidence in my apperance is non existant. I sent a photo of my bump to the family chat because she had been begging me too, and added a note that said\n\n\"Btw I know I don't need to say it, but please don't share that photo I put up\" (directly copied).\n\n She then went on a compete rant which is a bit long, but here's the abridged version.\n\n\"I hope that I hv proved to all of un that I respect your privacy Hasn’t I I only post my garden and projects That keeps me restricted from the roof tops what I want to share about my pride of my immediate family I only wish my family would recognise and acknowledge that instead of constantly warning me not to breach that confidentiality As far as I’m aware I hv respected that wish By pretending it’s all about me And I seem to never get there Trusted ! Really? The grave Maybe\" \n\n(spelling errors ECT copied directly, sorry, her messages are always hard to translate). \n\nI finished by leaving this; \n\n\"It's not about trust mum. I've never liked photos of me, now even less, but you said you wanted to see them and putting them here feels very vulnerable. I'd rather not comment anymore if everything I say is going to cause you offense.\" \n\nSo AITA? Do I need to apologise? ######","completion":" NTA and no you don't.\n\nSounds like everything is about her. Could explain some of your confidence issues. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway. Names are changed. \n\nI've been best friends with Dan (29M) since we were in high school. He's been married to Cassie (28F) for two years and they recently had their first kid. Dan's dad remarried when we were off at college and Lucifer became his stepmom. Lucifer had a son from a previous relationship. \n\nRecently, with the weather getting nicer, Dan and Cassie hosted a small barbecue with immediate family and friends. I was there, Dan, Cassie, and their kiddo were there, Cassie's parents, Dan's dad and Lucy, and a few other people.\n\nEveryone was gushing over the baby and how good Cassie was looking. She had a rough pregnancy and has been resting up ever since the baby came. She also had a C-section (this is relevant).\n\nNow, Lucy is a shitty person and Dan has never been her biggest fan. The topic of Cassie's C-section came up and Lucy said something nasty about Cassie not being a real woman and a true mother, for not having given birth naturally. It was pretty hurtful and I could see it on Cassie's face that she was upset.\n\nI ended up blurting out that it wasn't surprising that Lucy had said that, considering she was such a huge cunt, when she gave birth her kid probably just slipped out and fell on the floor. Dan laughed, but his dad and Lucifer were pretty upset. They ended up leaving shortly after. \n\nI know there's some controversy over that particular word, I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and nice touch with the name \"Lucifer\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are getting a divorce, it was pretty out of the blue, we had a fight and then he said he wanted one. He said that we didn’t have to go to court, he only wanted a small amount and just wanted it to be over with. He’s currently staying with a friend.\n\nHe was a stay at home dad for most of our daughters childhood, and only recently had gotten back to work, however he got furloughed for the quarantine.\n\nI was talking to my parents and they asked how the divorce was going, and I told them the good news that he didn’t want much money. They were unhappy with this for some reason, and said I should volunteer to give him more money. I think that would be stupid, because 1) he’s asking for the divorce, I was perfectly happy, and 2) he specifically only asked for the amount he did.\n\nI then was venting to a friend about this conversation because it frustrated me and then she agreed with them!\n\nI don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, yes, if we went to court he undoubtedly would get more but he doesn’t want to, I’m talking to my lawyer and everything is going smoothly. I don’t see why I should have to give him something he didn’t ask for?\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and neither is your husband. Everyone else should mind their own business. \n\nIt sounds like you're on the way to a civil divorce and hope the best for your future alternative family! ######"}
{"prompt":"Every single night, my neighbors would blast loud rap music at all hours of the night. I got tired of it and approached them on their porch. They mocked me and told me to get over it and that it was a free country. So, what I did, originally, was play my own rock music. They knocked on my door and told me the exact same thing I told them. I asked them how it felt for the shoe to be on the other foot and slammed the door. I then stopped the music. The next night, they did the same thing. I knocked on the door and told them if they continued that I would call the cops. They all laughed at me and told me to do it and called me a pussy. I went back to my house, they continued, and I sure as shit called the cops. They arrived and I believe they told them if they continued they would be arrested for disturbance of the peace, because they stopped. For 2 days. They continued, I called the cops back, and they were arrested. I found out later that apparently they had a large criminal record and were arrested for many other things other than disturbance of the peace. I accidentally ratted out criminals. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and man, your neighbors are not only asses, they're dummies.  People with open warrants generally keep a lower profile. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) have been living on my own for about 2 years now, but moved back in with my mom to save money during this time. \n\nWhen I live alone or with roommates, I rarely ever think about what I eat on a daily basis. But when I’m home, my mom is constantly asking what I’m eating or offering up “healthier” suggestions and I’ve found I feel very anxious eating at her house. She also does this to my sister (21F) and has been a lot worse to her than me in the past. She put my sister on Weight Watchers in like 6th grade. My sister just recently found medical records from that time saying she was not considered overweight until high school. \n\nMy mom has a history of bulimia and has been pretty weird about food ever since then. She’s always buying elixirs and protein powders and sugar alternatives and trying to make her food “healthier”. \n\nThis morning as I was making my coffee (French press with oat milk) she said that I really should let her make me one of her “coffee drinks” with beef collagen and adaptogens and whatever other shit she was gonna throw in there. Granted, I had not had my coffee yet but I went OFF on how adding processed alternatives to substitute real foods is not “healthy” and the way she micromanages our eating is pretty messed up. \n\nMy brother (18M) stepped in and said I was being unusually harsh to my mom and that she doesn’t care what we eat. Of course he thinks that, he’s a “growing boy” in her mind and she doesn’t treat his eating the same as she does my sister and mine. \n\nMy sister didn’t want to get into the argument because she didn’t want to bring up poor feelings from our moms bad ED days and overall upbringing. \n\nAITA for calling her out?\n\ntl;dr my mom has an unhealthy relationship with food that she projects onto my sister and I. I finally called her out on it today. ######","completion":" NTA and look up orthorexia. I'm not diagnosing your mom of course but it sounds awfully like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"today my stepdad refused to let my little sister put makeup on him and when i asked him why, he said it's because men aren't allowed to use makeup. i told him that it's 2020 and dozens of men wear makeup, to which he replied those people weren't \"real men\". i asked him to elaborate and he said that since they chose to play a feminine role, they weren't men. \n\ni'm a lesbian and while my parents know that, they don't want to believe it and refuse to let me talk about it or properly come out to them. i asked him if me dressing masculine (which is something i do, simply because i like the look on me) makes me less of a woman. he said yes. \n\ni called him out on his bullshit and told him he’s being ignorant. then i left the room. now he acts like i'm being dramatic and should stop ignoring him. am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA and keep ignoring him to your heart’s content. You have no obligation to listen to him if he refuses to listen to what you have to say just because of his old timey shit views. The world has changed and he refuses to change with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in. \n\nBecause of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.  \n\nI wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the \"ruckus\" that goes on every day.  \n\nThere are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.\n\nI feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######","completion":" NTA and its probably going to take a while to get them out if they dont voluntarily comply, the sooner you start the better ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.\n\nSo, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc) \nSo for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women) \nTo my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.\nI left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her. \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and it’s weird of her to hold an event specific to your culture and not want you to wear the clothing that is entirely appropriate and traditional for the event. ######"}
{"prompt":"Husband and I have been struggling financially for a while now. I’ve tried making up a budget that lists our income, expenses, due dates, and balances on credit cards, but he won’t use it. We sold his car to pay off some bills a few months ago, used our tax return to pay off more bills, and I assumed that this stimulus money all went towards bills as well (we have separate bank accounts and I don’t have access to his). Well, today, we got a huge package. I had no idea we ordered anything so I was confused. It was a PS4. He bought a PS4 without even talking to me about it. While I’ve been wanting one for years, they cost so much that I’ve just accepted that I wouldn’t be getting one until they came down in price and we were more stable. I asked him how he paid for it and he said he’d put it on the GameStop credit card (that we had JUST paid off a couple of months ago!). He said it was a combination anniversary gift for me and early birthday present for him. He doesn’t understand why I’m mad because I had said I wanted one. Am I the asshole for being mad that he got it? ######","completion":" NTA and it wasn't a gift for you. It was for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"Client Refuses to Pay Me for Commission, Says I’m Twisting Her Arm\n\nCan somebody back me up here? \n\nOne year ago I was contacted for a commission for voicework. I won’t give the client’s name. She had also separately commissioned a scriptwriter as well. That writer did not produce the script for over 6 months, but once they did I had the recordings done in under a week.\n\nI sent them to the client, and then waited for a response. Of course a lot of big developments started happening in my life shortly thereafter. Proposing, moving to England, having a baby. Up until yesterday I’d forgotten about the commission. But upon remembering I sent an email to the client. I stated that I felt I’d been more than patient and wanted to know why I hadn’t been compensated. I also warned her that if I was not compensated, I would refuse to work with her again and tell my colleagues not to either.\n\nI got a message back this morning stating that I shouldn’t expect the terms of a deal to stay the same after a year of no communication. That she feels uncomfortable that I’m “twisting her arm” like this. Then she goes off on how 2019 was a really rough year for her and criticizes me for “threatening” her after a year. \n\nI  responded stating that I wasn’t trying to threaten her, but that these are are consequences of going back on our agreement.  Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA and INFO - Is voice acting your main source of income? This doesn't really matter because you offered a service and she should pay for said service. Its just basic Economics. However, it does clarify a few things like why she didn't pay at first or why a year occured before any action was taken.\n\nI understand you got really busy with marriage, moving, and pregnancy, and that makes her even more of an asshole for her reaction. ######"}
{"prompt":"so I rewrote this because the original was hard to understand warning (I’m bad at typing) I been saving up money to get a PS4.i can’t work because of everything going on.i almost have enough to buy the PS4 and my uncle said he would cover the rest(about 80$)my bf is staying with me to use my internet to do online school until school is open again or until school ends.he thinks I should let him take the PS4 that I want to buy to his house.i live with my uncle (I might make post why later)my brother has a PS4 to but he works all day and when he gets home he plays on his PS4.My brother doesn’t like anyone in his room when he’s gone.My boyfriend is worried that people will come into my room all the time or try and take it if I buy it and keep it at my house.he said I could just play it at his house when I go over there.his house is in the other side of town and I hardly go over to his house he comes to mine more.he said that his brothers are bored and they could play on it.i love to game and I been wanting to get a PS4.he thinks I won’t use it because I would just be on Hulu all day.he got upset because I told him it didn’t make since for me to buy it and for him to keep it at his house.i thinking of not buying one now I was going to go tomorrow when my uncle was off to get one.AITA ######","completion":" NTA and in fact I'm questioning your boyfriend. You are buying it, it's gonna be yours but he wants it at his house for him and his siblings to play? Yeah red flags. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nI am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.\n\nMy mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.\nMy mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.\n\nMaybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.\n\nMy mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: \"You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her.\"\n\nMy dad doesn't know about this.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and if the parents are so worried about her having money they should apply and see if she is qualified for disability support if she is so server that she can’t do anything for herself ######"}
{"prompt":"I randomly started flirting with this acquaintance, what started as flirting progressed to sexting, nudes and to eventually hooking up multiple times etc. I was fine with it, until i saw how much of a HYPOCRITE he is. \n\nHe’s been posting so much dumb shit on snapchat about girls who send nudes, how hookups are “morally and religiously long as you should devote your body to one person only” and things along those lines. I called him out publicly on snapchat by posting the sexual texts he sends me “i want to see both views when you drop it low” and worse. \n\nHe then calls me ranting about how much of a bitch I am, and how unnecessary that was etc. His friends are telling me to delete it, so word doesn’t get around to his religious parents who might disown him because he isn’t abstinent.  I hate hypocrites, but I’m starting to feel bad. AITA? I would be willing to apologize If i’m in the wrong, i just need an unbiased perspective. ######","completion":" NTA and if he has a problem direct him to Luke 8:17 ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short, my fiancé has always been a drinker. He has a drink every night to wind down after working swing shift while he plays video games. His drink consists of a 20oz Yeti cup filled with ice. Then filled 2\/3 with Jim Beam followed by Dr. Pepper. He’d typically just have the one drink about 11pm when he got home and come to bed about 2am. \n\nOver the last year, his drinking has gotten crazy. He now drinks 3 of those cups a night, every single night. He stays up past 4am getting wasted while playing his game and yelling the whole time. I get up for work at 5:30 am so it’s very disturbing to sleep in our bed. Many nights I sleep on the couch. After playing and drinking, he goes and wrecks my kitchen heating up food. I used to make allowances because he was still able to get up for work and he’d let me sleep in one weekend day and take care of the kids that morning. And I don’t think I really realized how much he was drinking. \n\nBut now we’re both home, his drinking really bothers me. As I watch him fill his cup with liquor I feel repulsed. Because I know that the more he drinks, the more obnoxious and verbally abusive he becomes. Every night I’m called a bitch or a whore. And if I say anything, he says he can’t joke with me. But I don’t find it funny nor do I see how it’s a joke when I’m literally just laying there trying to sleep.\n\nThe other night I snapped. My stove was covered in queso. He had kept me up all night with his yelling and all the kitchen noise. I told him it’s us or alcohol. Previous talks asking him to slow down his drinking only made him drink more so I’m at my wits end.\n\nHis response was to say he will drink more now and maybe if I got drunk, he’d like me better. So I walked away. And I haven’t spoken to him since unless absolutely necessary. I know alcoholism is a disease and it runs in his family. I’m conflicted with wanting to be happy and feeling guilty for the ultimatum. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA and if he can't see AND acknowledge and DO SOMETHING about his problem, don't feel the least bit bad about walking away from this before you marry him ######"}
{"prompt":"TL;DR — my husband started a YouTube channel, which I fully supported but I asked him to not record me and told him I didn’t want to be in his videos and he flipped out and deleted the whole YouTube channel. AITA?\n\n•\n•\n•\nMy husband started a YouTube channel. He got a wild, hare brained idea that it was a good idea. He told me about it, showed me his first video, I told him it was very funny and I supported him 100%. He said it was going to be a “funny, relatable, YouTube channel for dads”, I told him it was a great idea, and fully supported it. Until he tried to secretly record me and post it. I told him as he was recording me (as soon as I realized he was) that I do consent to being put on videos that are displayed for the public. And it wasn’t a sexual video or anything like that. It was literally a video of me sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of lucky charms. I don’t care what it was about, I point blank said I didn’t want to be in his videos. I still supported him making the channel, and told him I could support him without being in the videos. He then said he was going to post it anyway, made a comment about posting videos of our kids. I was adamantly against that — I don’t want our kids displayed for world to see. It’s just nothing something I agree with personally because I don’t want anyone to look at my child in an inappropriate way and unfortunately, the world we live in, the Internet is a child sex offenders hunting grounds. I just don’t want my kids to be out there like that, plain and simple. Anyway, he flipped out. Told me I didn’t support him, he was tired of it always being an issue if it wasn’t my way. Which it’s the complete opposite. He behaves like a child when he doesn’t get his way, always trying to guilt me into things. We fought for a while about it and I finally just walked away. He deleted the entire channel and refused to speak to me the rest of the night. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA and I’m glad to hear you don’t want your kid’s being on YouTube either. Seems like so many family vlogs exploit their kids for views. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all! This a quick one:\n\nMy husband and I live in predominantly white neighborhood where I, a woman of color, continuously gets stares and whispers whenever I’m out walking without my husband, who is not a person of color. \n\nMy guy wanted to go for an evening stroll before dinner. I thought that sounded like a great idea. He then said he was gonna take a can beer and if I wanted one. I said no thanks, I’ll have it when we come back. He pushed the issue, asks why I won’t have one. I jokingly said because I’ll definitely get some looks and I just want to enjoy my walk. He gets offended and says that no one will look at me it’s fine. I then seriously state I will since I can’t even walk around the neighborhood without getting them. He then says I’m overreacting and no one cares if he does it. I then point out the OBVIOUS difference between us. He was dead silent during our walk and dinner. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and I'm sorry this happens. A long-time friend of mine is black, married to a white woman. He has always had more white friends (I'm white; I've known him for 25+ years) than people of color, and we all live in predominantly white suburbs. His house is on a corner with a big picture window. Someone called the police on him once because they \"saw a black man in a nice house.\" He's an assistant state's attorney and the police were embarrassed when they stopped by. I was appalled when I heard the story. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse. \n\nFor the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24\/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained. \n\nLast night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and I'm going to get down voted big time for this,but I've been there: he's wallowing. No amount of sympathy will be enough. He's almost a psychic vampire feeding off your energy. He needs a wake up call. If not that, you need to go to therapy again to learn to cope with him. There might even be support groups for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms! \nAITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ######","completion":" NTA and I'm a similar position. I have no room for anything in my house but especially not outdated ugly stuff, sorry. \"Sorry, I don't have the space\" is a perfect response. You're not obligated to take things just because it has sentimental value for your parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"My swimming instructor said I passed all of the requirements for the first part of my course. Then he said the last part of my course required  me to do a practical test at another swimming location the next day. I drove all the way to the new swimming pool about 30 minutes away and went into the swimming centre. I saw my swimming instructor and other swimming classmates. My swimming instructor said “sorry, I forgot that your swimming level (I am doing bronze star) doesn’t require an practical test. The practical test is only for those doing bronze medallion and above.”\nSo me and my family went home.\nThen weeks passed and I still have not received my bronze star certificate in the mail. \n\nI went to the swimming pool and told a staff member I haven’t received my certificate. Then she told me to write my mobile number down so my swimming teacher can contact me. Weeks had passed and I did not get a phone call from the teacher.\n\nI went to the swimming pool one day and happened to see my swimming teacher so I said that I still haven’t received my certificate. He said “that’s not my problem if you haven’t received your certificate”. I’m not the type to argue so I just left it there and came home and told my dad. \n\nMy dad said to email the swimming organisation and say that I haven’t received my certificate. They replied back and basically didn’t believe me. Then i had to reply back explaining the whole story, I even included the part where my teacher said “it’s not my problem”. Then finally the swimming organisation replied back and apologised. I received my certificate about two months late. \n\nThen the following year I had that same swimming teacher again to teach me swimming. He basically ignored me the entire time. AITA for going to great lengths to get my certificate? I mean I did pay around $100 for the course. ######","completion":" NTA and I'd even report him again if he's treating you different than the other students. It's not your fault he was a jerk. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.\n\nThen, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because \"I provoked him\" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.\n\nHe has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######","completion":" NTA and I would be very wary of staying in a relationship with this person. I am not at all a “throw the whole man away, yes the whole man.” kind of person but him blaming you for his violent reaction and then demeaning you is something that abusers do. He doesn’t have to hit you to be abusive. \n\nI would not pay to fix the laptop and at the very least would require him to talk to someone about anger management. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my wife and I have been married for 5 years. We have two children, a five year and 5 month old. She has acknowledged her alcohol problem in the past, but when she gets to a certain point, she throws caution to the wind and gets completely wasted. She gets mean and absolute hateful. \n\nTonight, I took time off work to drive her two hours to see her best friend that she hasn’t seen in a year. When we get there, it’s cinco de Mayo, so her friend wanted tacos and margaritas. The margaritas were STRONG. I, knowing I had to drive in three hours, didn’t drink. Our kids were with us. My wife, on the other hand, got shitfaced. Come time to leave, she had another canned margarita in hand about to open it in the car. I took the can and told her it’s illegal to drink in the car. She got pissed. She finally calmed down, but she was still super drunk. She took her frustrations out on our five year old and made him cry his eyes out in the back seat. We got back home and she was about to start up again and get even more drunk. \n\nI had enough of it. I took the can she was about to open and said no. Not tonight. You’ve had enough. \n\nShe became belligerent saying she married a dictator. I feel I have a right to keep the peace in the house especially since we’re both responsible for two children. She is still going off on me (going on two hours) and my five year old is in his room screaming. She’s screaming she wants a divorce. My response is that if her abuse of alcohol is that important to her, then fine. She can have her divorce. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA And I hope you can get the child therapy. That sounds like such a stressful situation for a kid to go through, and it sounds like the poor child has had to deal with a lot beyond just this one incident. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm in an LDR and my gf has been lonely and uncomfortable in her cramped studio apt during COVID lockdown. This woman she goes to grad school with knew that and gave her the key to her place while she's out of town for the summer, but they're not really friends, more like colleagues, and she assumed my gf was only going to stop in from time to time to get some work done in a quiet place. She even asked for a little money to go towards rent, and my gf paid her fifty bucks. \n\nLittle does she know, my gf has been sleeping there every night. The place is bigger and nicer than my gf's and she feels safer there because the neighbors don't scream at each other all night. When she first starting going there I thought she was staying at a *friend's* place, but recently she revealed the true situation to me on the phone and then confessed that she also read this woman's diary, which was just sitting right there on her desk. I was shocked; I said it was an invasion of privacy and asked my gf how she would've felt if someone she trusted with her apt key read her diary. She said she wouldn't have cared. \n\nShe called me an asshole for judging her, and she later justified the diary thing by saying that she's been so lonely she just needed to see if someone else felt that way. She said I should've taken her side and empathized with her instead of being cold and judgmental, and she's still pissed about it. But I stand by my judgment! Is reading someone's diary just not as bad as I think it is? ######","completion":" NTA and I guarantee your girlfriend WOULD be pissed if someone read her private diary. She's just trying to save face. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence. \n\nAm I the asshole?\n\nI know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######","completion":" NTA And I cannot believe they would take a good bag that had been in your possession and now a different temp and hand it back out again. I’d go so far as to call the health department to find out if that is even allowable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I might be the Ah for putting up with it for so long. Anyways, I work for a landscaping company. For the past year, we've been getting paid late, and when we do get paid the checks often bounce. At first we would start getting paid a couple days late, then it went to a week late, and then almost a month late. One of the managers went 2 months without getting paid. One time one if my coworkers asked my boss \"are we getting paid today?\", and my boss replied \"is everyone gonna ask me that...\" wtf? To the main story. Last friday, he gives me my check. I got to the bank to cash it on sunday. It bounces. I could have called him, but didnt have the energy to deal with it. Monday comes around. Hes in a good mood, and says \"howd everyone's weekend go!\" I said \"would have gone food if the check you gave me was good\" he stared at me, and said \"if your check bounces, then you can call me, and I'll take care of it\" I snapped. And said \"dont act like you didnt know that check wasnt gonna bounce. You knew damn well it would. I'm getting paid a month late. I expect my check not to bounce everytime I want to cash it\" he threw his arms in the air, and said \"if your not happy with how things are going, then you can quit!\", so I got in my truck, and left. He called me when I was half way home, and apologized, and sad I'm a good employee, and he cant lose me. Idk, I love my co workers. That's one of the main reasons I've stayed as long as I have. I could get another job pretty easily, but idk. ######","completion":" NTA and i absolutely would not go back. And make sure you get paid for all the time your boss hasnt paid you for yet ######"}
{"prompt":"So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing .  \nSo suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it . \nI was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up . \nThe fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help . \n\n\nSo reddit AITA ??? \n\nSorry for the grammar mistakes ######","completion":" NTA and honestly, your mother should grow up. At 17, you’re more mature than her and I hope you will be able to get help, maybe through your father. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, everyone.\n\nSo I live with a roommate, and we’re both grad students, so constantly busy. This summer is going to be particularly busy for me, because I have two classes, an intensive German workshop, and am working on both PhD and Fulbright applications. Because of this, I don’t foresee me leaving my desk this summer. My roommate is also taking two classes. The other day, my roommate told me that her boyfriend would be coming up from Florida to visit for 5 days. She also told me that I would need to be gone from the apartment for at least one night so they could have sex, and asked if I could go stay with my boyfriend. I told her no, because I was busy and had class and would feel more comfortable doing my classes and schoolwork at home. She told me I was an asshole, and has gotten her friends and parents to also tell me I’m an asshole.\n\nAITA for telling her no? ######","completion":" NTA and honestly kind of funny that she thinks you should leave so they can have sex. I assume this apartment has walls so thats all the privacy you’re entitled to when you have roommates. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background. My wife’s siblings are incredibly entitled along with her stepdad and sometimes her mother.\n\nSadly my pug (Otis) passes away last week. My wife and I are pretty torn up. He was an amazing dog who loved just about anyone, who’d give him food. Word soon got around to my In-Laws who at first felt sorry, but then after learning how he died (he had chronic heart problems) were saying we were stupid to trust modern medicine and if an animal is born weak it should die. The final stray was when me and my wife were in a zoom call with my SIL, and she said the following, I can’t believe you guys are hung up over your dumb dog. He was a dumb bitch who deserved to die. I. Saw. Red. I told her to shut the FUCK up and that she needs to stop being such a bitch all the time. It’s been a couple of days and my wife wants me to apologize for causing “drama” in the family. The way I see it is they’re the ones being inconsiderate assholes. So reddit, AITA ######","completion":" NTA and honestly fuck them. Pets are quite often family members too and it sucks to lose them. I think your response was 100% warranted. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said \"I love you more than *insert my name here*.\n\nI never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.\n\nabout two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him.  He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying \"there you go being crazy again.\n\nWas I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ######","completion":" NTA and he is so toxic and immature. First he says something pointless just to hurt you, then he pretends not to remember, then he brings his fucking *mom* in to invalidate your feelings. You weren't \"jealous of a dog,\" you were hurt because he intentionally said something to make you feel unloved. Being single is better than being treated like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ######","completion":" NTA and good on you for not enabling that behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is pretty self-explanatory. I was working out in my living room when I heard something on my back porch knock over. Thinking an animal was getting to some of the vegetables I had in pots out there, I quickly ran outside without thinking to put a shirt on (since I've been working out at home, I don't feel the need to put on a shirt and I'm more comfortable that way).\n\nFound an overturned pot, put it back up, made sure everything was good and went back inside to finish my workout. I wasn't outside for more than five minutes. Well my next-door neighbor saw me out there, and I guess it made him uncomfortable. He complained to my mom, and she told me just to try not to do it again. I still think thats unfair. Even though I usually wear a shirt, its my back yard and I should be comfortable. I'm not walking around the neighborhood or anything. Plus, I'm sure he's taken off his shirt while mowing his lawn or doing yard work. My mom says to just let it go, but I'm pretty pissed about being told what to do in my own yard.\n\nAITA?\n\nETA: Not that it makes it less creepy, but our yards are only separated by low bushes, so we can both see each others yard pretty clearly ######","completion":" NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself. A sports bra is more covering than a bikini. Thank goodness you haven't taken up sunbathing \/s. Do not ever let a man's discomfort with you doing perfectly normal things keep you from doing it and shame on your mom for trying to toe the line in 2020. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up. \n\nMost of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.\n\nShe doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.\n\nThe thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social\/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######","completion":" NTA and good for you for setting boundaries in your friendships! It’s not an easy thing to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but here it goes anyway:\n\nAfter 20 years of being a content screw-up, I finally decided to better myself and finish college. After earning my bachelor’s, I immediately went to grad school and earned my MBA this May.\n\nAnyway, around the same time I initially decided to go back to school, my bro-in-law also decided to go back. He decided to pursue an associate’s degree in a trade.\n\nSeeing as how he wasn’t working while he was going to school, he finished in two years. However, I was working full-time so it took me 7 years to finish both my bachelor’s and my MBA (I had finished most of my generals my first go-around 20 years earlier). I only say this because he would always make comments about how I’m ‘sure taking my time’ and how he finished way before me.\n\nMy family had a little celebration for me a few weeks ago and he kept making comments about how I’m finally his equal (emphasis on finally) and joined the ranks as a college graduate.\n\nI didn’t say anything (nor would I) because I don’t want to diminish his accomplishment. At the same time, I can’t help but feel annoyed that he doesn’t seem to get that I had to put in a lot more work to get my degrees. \n\nI guess it bothers me that I feel this way. After all, to him, his associate’s degree is a huge deal (and it is).\n\nSo, AIT(elitist)A?\n\nTLDR: My bro-in-law keeps equating his associate’s degree to my master’s, and it bothers me. ######","completion":" NTA and good for you for not bothering to push back or try to put him down. Take the high road and let his insecurity\/self-ego-boost go unchallenged for the sake of family harmony. \n\nWell-done on earning two degrees while working full time, that’s a commitment and a lot of work. Wishing you both success in your fields! ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.\n\nMy aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a \"cool aunt\", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.\n\nBut as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy\/girl who is black, etc.)\n\nSo during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.\n\nNow, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.\n\nNow, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.\nI felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain. \n\nSo I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA and from what you’ve described it sounds like the adults in your home need to start acting like adults ######"}
{"prompt":"So a month ago my husband and I moved into our current house that we are renting from this guy. He also lives with us in the third bedroom. This was supposed to be a short term thing but because of obvious reasons we don't know how long we're going to be here. Neither of us has had a roommate before, we were both the first person we lived with other than family.\n\nAnyway this morning I woke up earlier than usual so I made my husband and I breakfast. I made us eggs with toast. I used a total of 6 eggs and 2 pieces of bread. Our roommate came downstairs just as I was putting it on the table and was about to get my husband, and asked why he wasn't getting any. I was kind of surprised because I don't know why he would expect any. But he then got mad and said that he's paying for 1\/3 of the groceries so he should be kept in mind if we're making something. The past month my husband and I have just been eating small stuff for lunch and dinner, no big cooking of meals or anything, mostly sandwiches and whatever we can scrounge up so it just hadn't come up yet. \n\nI told him that I didn't make him any and if he wanted eggs there were more and he could make some himself. He said he should get some of what I made because he's paying for it and I should keep him in mind. I told him that what I used isn't more than 2\/3 of what we had so it doesn't matter and I'm not going to cook a meal for him, I was just doing something nice for my husband. He said he was going to have to rethink our payment agreement for groceries.\n\nNeither of us have ever had a roommate before as I said, so we don't know whether this guy is just strange or if I was really supposed to make him eggs.\n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA and don’t share groceries with a roommate that’s a recipe for discord. ######"}
{"prompt":"Aita for not wanting to live with my “dad”\n\nSorry for bad formatting\nFor some background: my mom left my dad when she was pregnant with my brother and i was 1 years old for many reasons. My dad has never been a caring father and i barely know him. He has been abusi ve in the past but not as bad as other kids but still physical ab use. He has a wife and a stepson (13) and two infants. Im 15 and im always blamed when they do anything bad or anything bad happens to my stepbro and biological brother (14)which sucks since they bully me and if i say anything to him about them im a “whiny snitch”.\n\nI have lived with my mom and younger brother all my life but somehow my dad got custody of me for a school year. I was forced to move to a new town and get new friends which is very hard for me and i ended up just being lonely.  And finally this school year ended and i just moved back. My dad never respects my decisions or anything like that. He always trusts fake news and took away my electronic so i wouldnt be a school shooter. When i broke my leg he took away my crutches so i had to jump on one leg for a whole weekend. The only reason i had ever went to his house in the past is because legally they have 50\/50 custody. \n\nMy grandma asked me if i have enjoyed spending more time with my dad but i was honest and told her no and he isnt even spending time with me i just live there. I woke up to angry text messages from my dad and aunt. My friends tell me that he is my father and that family is family aita? ######","completion":" NTA and don’t believe that “family is family” crap. If people hurt you, you shouldn’t be forced to be around them. If you really don’t want to be around your father, ask your grandma or mother to put you in touch with their attorney. Any decent judge that hears the story with the crutches won’t make you go back there. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.\n\nHowever, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.\n\nShe hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.\n\nWIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ######","completion":" NTA and do it before she squanders the rest of the money. And think twice about loaning money in the future. Maybe say something like “hey I notice you have gotten your back pay. Let’s work out a repayment plan now for the money I loaned you” ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend (27 y\/o) and I (30 y\/o) have been dating for about 2 years now. We agreed that we would live together after one year of meeting each other and getting to know one another. When we moved in, we brought some of our valuables. She brought her favorite painting from college and a signed volleyball from all her teammates back in college. I brought my mom's vase and my grandma's urn. I respected her stuff and she respected my stuff. I put my grandma's urn in a nice place to show that every time I pass it I pay respect to what she has done for me in the past.\n\nFast forward to yesterday. She went out with a couple of her friends and she came back a little too drunk. She started to talk to me about why my grandma was \"in a vase\" and not in the cemetery. I told her that I wanted to spread her ashes at Nadi (beach in Fiji) because that is where she had her honeymoon with my grandfather. So my girlfriend, not thinking at all, said \"Oh, she wants to be at the ocean does she?\" and took the urn and tired to pour the ashes into the toilet. \n\nI don't want to share my emotions because it was such a shitty 15 seconds but I felt immense rage and anger. I screamed at her to get out and don't speak to me for a bit. She quickly packed up her suitcase and I showed her the door. \n\nThings to add: I pay 3\/4s of the rent, and I do half of the house work around (cleaning dishes, vacuuming, laundry). I do love my girlfriend but what she did to my grandma's urn\/ashes was very upsetting to me. ######","completion":" NTA and did she succeed in putting them in the toilet? Please say no. ######"}
{"prompt":"Please excuse me for my English.\n\n\n\nI am 13 year Male and I moved from my home country of south Korea to Canada when I was 11. It is almost 2 years since I have moved. My English isnt the best but it is getting very better. My name is Jaehyeong it is a very hard name for native English people to pronouns because of that they almost always get it wrong and I correct them. Normally when I correct them I just repeat my name instead of saying that not my name. I feel this is easier since it maybe would make people mad. I let a select people call me jae but I just find it disrespecting to call someone you arent close to a shorten name.  we had a different teacher on the online classes and when he called my name it was so miss pronouns I didnt hear it correctly one of my friends had to say something to me to tell me that this man called my name. So I said here and the teacher said I am going to call you jae form now on. I said can you please learn. My name instead and he didnt say anything. When he then called on me again he mis pronouns it again so I didnt know he called on me. It is still hard for me to keep track of everything in calls. So once i answered the question he said he is going to call me jae because he cant pronouns my name and I cant understand his miss pronunciation. I agreed. After the class I got my grade and it said I got 10 points taken off of professional because of my ask for him to say my full name and then not answering to it. Am I the asshole ######","completion":" NTA and contact the department head. You have a right to ask to not be called a random nickname assigned by the teacher. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: FIL is a man who doesn't get along with his wife and children. He barks and snaps at everyone but is cordial to me and eats out of my daughter's hand.\n\nDuring this stay home period, MIL started cleaning out stuff that's been sitting around the house. Yesterday she found in a seldom-used drawer, a wooden box with a handkerchief wrapped around a picture of FIL in his younger times and my daughter's recent picture he cut out from her year book.\n\nWhen she asked him about it, he threw a fit and said she had no right to defile pictures of people he loved most. An upset MIL called and told me about it.\n\nHe has 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters. While I'm happy he dotes on my daughter most, I found this really creepy and said this to hubby. Hubby is now upset that I think his dad is creepy and his childless sister sides with him, while the other sister who has 3 kids thinks FIL is crazy.\n\nSo am I TA for reading too much into his 'innocent' action? ######","completion":" NTA and be careful with your daughter. It’s a huge red flag that all the mother in your family think it’s weird. Trust your gut instinct! ######"}
{"prompt":"I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######","completion":" NTA and all those white knights in your ‘friendship’ group ganging up on you after as well need to go take a leap. You need better friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend. \n\nShe lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him. \n\nMy friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content. \n\nI told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated. \n\nMy own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ######","completion":" NTA and all these people saying Y T A because “you need to mind your own business” need to realize that she’s made it your business when she decided to flaunt it to everyone but her fiancé. He’s your friend just as much as she is, and if I was him I’d feel seriously betrayed by not only her but also my “friends” for not telling me. He’s going to need people in his corner when he finds out - and he WILL find out - so be that person for him. You’re gonna be TA in her eyes but she’s not a friend to you for asking you to keep this a secret in the first place. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. \"I don't know.\" That seemed like a red flag to me.\nBut then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######","completion":" Nta and absolutely do not give her any money unless you fully expect not to ever give it back, because she won’t ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep it short. \n\nMy (27F) brother (38M) is currently living in a different part of the state than the rest of his family (Wife and 2 kids). He called me the other day to tell me he’s interested in buying a house. I felt it coming that he would ask but I really didn’t expect the guilt trip. \n\nHe was approved for a loan of 150k but he would have to move further away to be able to afford a house in that range. He wants me to co-sign on a house and receive a loan in MY name for another 150k so he could buy a house closer to the family. \n\nI’m not all that close with my family to begin with so that factor doesn’t really affect me. However, our kids are close in age and were close before the initial move so he said it would be in the best interest of them and the family to have him move closer. \n\nMy mom is 25k in debt, my father has a foreclosure on his record, and my brother declared bankruptcy a few years back. Everyone has some kind of huge negative record which is prohibiting them from assisting my brother, im the only one with a somewhat clean record. I do have some debt but not nearly as much as the rest of my family. I’ve already told him based on my income and credit I don’t think I would qualify but he’s a real estate agent so he sucked me into believing maybe I could. \n\nMy issue is I’m a single mom who is only now finding herself in the beginnings of financial stability. The idea of 150k being under my name towards a house I won’t even use is making me nauseous. I’ve always struggled with telling my family no and I know the wave of guilt is going to engulf me eventually. I don’t want the kids to be split but I also don’t want to risk my financial future. Tell me reddit, would I be an asshole in telling him absolutely not? \n\nTL;DR: my brother wants me to co-sign 150k towards a house I wouldn’t even live in for the sake of the family. ######","completion":" NTA and a huge fuck that! There's no way you could even be CONSIDERED TA in this situation, and please for the sake of your own financial future do not co-sign anything for him, either. He's already got a bankruptcy under his belt, there's no way this is going to end well for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (28F) will be getting married this July. We were going to have a large standard wedding but due to recent events, that celebration has been postponed and we will be having a very small family celebration instead.\n\nMy brother Steve (27M) has had a revolving door of girlfriends for most of his life, with the average relationship length lasting around 2 months. He is currently dating a very sweet girl (that we've only met via Zoom) and they've been together for around 3 months, since recent events started.\n\nHe's asked to invite her to the wedding and I and my fiance have no problem with that and would love to have her. The issue is, on the chance that they end up not lasting, I would prefer if all my wedding photos did not include her. Obviously, we'll have some with my fiance's family that would omit her, but I would like some shots with my family that didn't have her in them just in case.\n\nWIBTA if I asked to take family pictures with and without her? Should I exclude her from all of them? ######","completion":" NTA always do some with and without non-married\/common law partners. I believe most people would understand. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for context, I (20M) came out as gay to my parents in February last year. My mum was very accepting and kind but my stepdad was very much not so. He hates everyone that isn't straight and white, so me coming out as gay made me a disappointment in his eyes.\n\nFast forward a couple of months and my mum wanted to meet my boyfriend (now ex) so I did the ~300 mile round trip to drive me and my bf to meet my parents. My stepdad decided to send me a list of instructions on how to behave, which in short was basically \"no PDA and no signs at all you're dating\", which really hurt but we went along with it.\n\nMy mental health declined sharply over the next 7-8 months as everything for me went wrong. I broke up with my bf, got hit in a car crash and couldn't take the stress from work anymore. To say the least, my stepdad was not happy about me moving back in after losing my job and being unable to live in another town.\n\nMy mental health is improving now, but my relationship with my stepdad is heavily stained. We barely talk and I avoid him as much as I can.\n\nAnyway, on topic - since I'm now living with my parents again I've been forced to spend time with my stepdad, much to both of our annoyance. Since I know he's a massive homophobe and hates me for it I decided to add some colour to my room. I have pinned up a 4×2 ft pride flag on my wall and replaced the strings on my guitar with multi-coloured ones. To say the least, he hates it. He has gotten worse with not just me but my mum and brother. Him and my mum have gotten into arguments over his disapproval of my sexuality and I hate that they are getting into arguments over me.\n\nMy mum has said that it was bad of me to put this stuff up as I knew it would annoy him, especially as he has gotten worse for everyone and I am refusing to remove the pride stuff from my room.\n\nReddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA Although it's not your home, so if your mum insists, you will have to remove things. But she should stick by you, not the asshole bigot who is hurting her and her kids. ######"}
{"prompt":"There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one. \n\nShe said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no. \n\nWell now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no. \n\nI mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole. \n\nSo uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ######","completion":" NTA altho not gonn lie, based on the title I thought it'd be something completely different lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Since my wife and I are both doctors we still have to work and to avoid anything happening, our kids are staying with my mother in law except for our oldest daughter whose staying with a friend. We're friends with the parents and they asked for her to stay since their daughter is an only child i\nand gets bored on her own.\n\nOn Wednesday my daughter called and asked if she could get a tatoo (her friend has the machine). I didn't feel comfortable with this so I told her no but she can possibly get one for her birthday in a few months. She surprisingly was fine with it and was still in a good mood. I found it suspicious but didn't want to cause problems where there weren't any.\n\nToday while I'm talking to my son he mentions that he also wants a tatoo like his sister's but a dragon. I obviously ask what he's talking about and he tells me that she posted a picture of herself with a shoulder tatoo on her story. He sent me a screeenshot of it and I was livid. I tried calling her but only got voicemail so I called the parents and spoke to them. They thought I said yes when she called. They gave her the phone and while I was talking she hung up. I called them again and asked them to take her phone away indefinitely. They understood and agreed.\n\nMy brother says she's angry at me for 'embarrassing' her in front of her friend. My wife agrees with me but another perspective is always appreciated. AITA? ######","completion":" Nta also who tattoos a kid without talking to the parent first?? ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!! \n\nFor context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name. \n\nIt came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess. \n\nMy friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ######","completion":" NTA after reading the edit.  Your mom is being TA majorly by not respecting what you are telling her.  She thinks that if she keeps bugging you about what she wants you to do, that you'll cave eventually so that she can get what she wants out of it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin).  We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim.  I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.  \n\nI lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table).  I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner.  I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner. \n\nMe and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong.  She got annoyed and said I should dress more \"modestly\" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake.  She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA a) you were covered up for dinner so idk how that could be seen as not dressing modestly  b) they probably didn’t notice anything and c) even if they had seen something that is also completely fine because this isn’t the 16th century ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the last couple weeks, I’ve seen chalk drawings pop up on the sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that and some of the “art” is encouraging like little “obstical courses”. \n\nHowever. This afternoon I came outside to see someone drew a huge cross in chalk on my driveway along with #HeIsRisen and Happy Easter. I took out my hose and washed the away the chalk drawing and then took my dog for a walk. \n\nWhen I came back, as I was walking up my driveway, one of my neighbours came out and said “excuse me, is there a reason you ruined my daughters drawing?” I clarified wether or not she was talking about the chalk drawing on my driveway and she said yes and that she daughter spent almost an hour on the drawing and was just trying to spread positivity and celebrate Jesus. \n\nI said that I was sorry that I upset her daughter but that it was my driveway and I didn’t agree to have someone draw on it especially when it was a religious holiday I Don’t celebrate (I’m Jewish but don’t consider myself religious). \n\nShe then went off an started calling me things like “anti religious, a miserable asshole and a horrible person.” I tried to tell her to calm down and stop verbally assaulting me. She then told me that I will regret washing away her daughters picture, flipped me off and walked away.”\n\nwas I the asshole here for washing away the chalk?\n\nEdit: just found out she has two daughters 13-15 so neither of them are “little” girls. ######","completion":" NTA a lot of Christians like to forget that not everyone practices their faith, or wants to be exposed to it (freedom of religion also means freedom from religion) if she wants to draw religious iconography she can do so on her own property, not yours. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have grown a peach tree from seed. A lot of care and planning had gone into this tree, from genetic planning to training and now I have gotten my first harvest(6lbs of fruit- dwarf tree)\n\nA few days after harvest, my mother asked me when I’m going to distribute some along the neighbourhood to which I said I wasn’t planning on doing so. She says that’s mean as people have noticed the tree and are expecting something and I said yea well tough luck. \n\nI intend on eating a good chunk of it myself fresh and then preserving the rest by pickling them with honey. \n\nNote: all care towards this tree was performed by me alone and it’s on MY private property and not a communal area. ######","completion":" NTA 6 lbs of fruit is what maybe 20 peaches? If you just give one to each person on the street that’s most of your fruit. That’s nuts that your mom expects you to distribute peaches like some sort of peach fairy. They sell peaches in the store. Your neighbors can go buy some ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nI am a 55 year old man and my wife is 56. My wife recently got a job in it building I worked at for the past 5 years. I make more than my wife for the same job and I am in a hire position than her and I work longer hours than my wife. My wife thinks that it's sexist that I get payed more than her for the same job and asked me to quit or complain about the sexist pay. \n\nI refused and told her if I quit my job we won't be able to afford the house and we would be homeless and that we won't be able to get grocery plus I told my wife that I have years more experience than her. My wife yelled at me saying it's sexist and asked me if I am supporting sexism in the  work place.\n\n I told her no I am not but I am not quitting my job. My wife became furious and left and is not talking to me.I feel that my wife is right and I am the asshole hear. So I want to know if I am the bad guy who supports sexism ######","completion":" NTA 5 more years of experience in the same job should amount to a higher pay.\n\nYou could work with your wife help her attain the same pay as you over time. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going. This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back. \n\nI had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch. I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me.\n\nWhen I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway. I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem. My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened.\n\nI told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone, and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes. \n\nSo, am I the asshole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me? ######","completion":" NTA 11 is old enough to watch a 7 year old for a short period of time. Also, not your kid, not your responsibility, especially if she didn't ask. ######"}
{"prompt":"little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people. \n\nThis happened a week ago.\nMy aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused. \nAt first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.\nMy aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter. \nMy mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.\nI don't feel like I'm the asshole.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA 100% Your aunt knew how your sister reacts to dogs and AGREED to not let her dog inside. Then she broke that promise. \nAlso, no it's not a silly fear and wtf ######"}
{"prompt":"It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service  there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks  don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.\n\nHowever there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously  know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish  to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals  with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing  by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a  photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking  away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way\n\nHe then tried to frame it as \"She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment\" The photo was  blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The  manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly  gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.\n\nHe got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the  managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as  well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was  off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced  at a few asses but he wasn't \"Alarming\" according to their experience\n\nI  thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.\n\nAlso I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######","completion":" NTA 100% He was gross and I'd feel very unsafe if he was at my gym. What's stopping him from 'accidentaly' peeking inside the womens locker room? You did the right thing! ######"}
{"prompt":"I (M16) really don't like kids and they usually don't like me. I don't have any experience with them and I think in general it's better if I'm just not around them. I always make this clear.\n\nMy sister (F24) has two kids (F4 and M6). Yesterday she wanted to go do some activity with her friends so she stopped by my house (I was home alone) and asked if she could leave them. I said absolutely not because I had homework and didn't want to spend my afternoon taking care of two little kids. After some arguing back and forth she said that she was just leaving them, and I said I would in no way watch them besides making sure they didn't die.\n\nShe eventually just drove off because she was going to be late and left them there with me. I kept my promise and I did nothing with them. I just did what I wanted to while I watched them.\n\nAll I did was play video games and listen to some music (100 gecs) that happened to be fairly explicit. I thought that was that and eventually my sister came and got her kids.\n\nHowever today I got an angry call from my sister. Apparently the kids have been repeating some of the explicit lines from the music I was listening to. My sister was pissed off and asked for an apology but I refused. She then talked to my parents and they've grounded me and told me I was an asshole to let kids listen to that kind of music. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA 100 Gecs slap. ######"}
{"prompt":"The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)\n\nWe have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.\n\nLast night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.\n\nMy wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.\n\nSo tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there) \n\nAs we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.\n\nI honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######","completion":" NTA “my friends parents never make them cook” well you’re not their friends parents are you?? Oh god... I’ve become old... ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been living with my roomate for 6 months and shes asian, I'm not. I have one spoon that I got from a Asian market (it's the Japanese style deep spoon for soup). I freaken LOVE soup and use that spoon all the time, I've had it for a good year now and I have just the one. My roomate has been using my spoon nonstop for herself and NEVER cleans it. I dont mind sharing but shes starting to use it more often now since we have been stuck inside, I've been making a lot of miso soup and she keeps taking the spoon. I brought it up a couple days ago that its my spoon and I should be able to have first choice to use it when I make soups. She got kinda mad about it and told me that I shouldn't even be using that spoon because I'm not asian ??? Like I didn't know that I had to be asian to use a certain type of silverware. I told her that I would be happy to buy her one so she could stop using mine and this made her more upset for some reason. The conversation went along the lines of \"it's my spoon, you never clean it , we have plenty of other spoons!\" I let her use my spoon that night but after whe went to bed, I washed it and put the spoon in my room. The next day she was looking for it and asked me where it was and I told her I put it away so she cant use it anymore. She called me a asshole and hasn't talked to me since. So AITA? \n\nTLDR: My roomate kept using my soup spoon and would hardly let me use it and never cleaned it so I hid it in my room, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA — your roommate can buy her own soup spoon ######"}
{"prompt":"I had this friend (I’ll call her Ellie) and for the last months or so if our friendship she was very open to me about her concerns about her mental health. I am no expert and I told her that, but I always gave her places and recourses that would help her more than I could (I obviously would help in any way I could)\n\nOne night I get a message from her, and she is freaking out, full blown panic. She messages me vague things such as ‘I don’t know why I’ve done this’ and ‘this is your fault’ and then she says ‘I’ve slit my wrists’. I’m in complete shock, I’m frantically messaging her saying apply pressure. She goes quiet for a couple minutes. I’m panicking. I’m telling my dad I don’t know what to do. \n\nI get a photo sent to me from her of her wrists. They don’t look cut, it looks like she used a pencil to draw on her arm. I didn’t want to be insensitive and I assumed I seen the photo wrong so I just replied; ‘get help and apply pressure’. She replies ‘ahah you’re so fucking stupid, it’s pencil marks, I wouldn’t cut myself’.\n\nThe next day we were all going out with friends and I told her how it made me feel, helpless and panicked. She laughed in my face and said I don’t care.\n\nI’ve not messaged her in a while, and our mutual friends think I over reacted. Did I? ######","completion":" NTA — thats not something to joke about. She needs help. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey folks, so I'm at a fork in the road here and have to make a decision. \\[Re-phrasing some things so this post doesn't get removed again\\]\n\nMy brother is in his mid-30s and recently applied to become a police officer. I'm not going to say where since this would be a dead give-away of who I am. When he first told my family and I that he was applying to become a police officer, we were skeptical, but I didn't think anything of it, assuming he'd never make it past the initial testing phase. He has extreme anger issues (he has been in court a few times but my father has paid lawyers to get these incidences expunged from his record), he still lives with my mom, and has addiction issues. His current job has nothing to do with law enforcement either. To my utter shock, he's somehow made it to the final phase before he's admitted to the academy, which is background checks\/character references. I have no idea why he put me down as someone to provide him a character reference since we've never had a good relationship. But I recently received an email from the police department asking me to fill out a character reference for him.\n\nI absolutely do not feel comfortable with the idea of him being in a position of power within the community for obvious reasons. That being said, I am the godparent to his only child (who I love and adore) and my brother's current job is not exactly a career that will give his child a great life. I fully support my brother's ambition to have a better career, I'm just not sure if he's the best fit for law enforcement.\n\nWIBTA if I was truthful on the reference form and potentially ruin my relationship with both him and subsequently my godchild? Should I just not fill out the form at all and hope for the best? Or should I withhold certain details for the sake of their future? ######","completion":" NTA — police with anger issues can kill. \n\nYou’re doing the right thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good.\n\nI leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit.\n\n30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time.\n\nI ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe.\n\nGiven that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip.\n\nIn my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them.\n\nAITA here? ######","completion":" NTA — following directions and instructions is part of the job description ######"}
{"prompt":"I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ######","completion":" NTA \nYou have a very valid reason to say something. No one should be taking Floyd's last words in a manner like that. You're right, she is trying to profit off of a movement. In all honesty between the COVID hysteria and now this, I'm done with people rn. You should at least stand up for it because to me she's contributing to more escalation. GFY for actually using common sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a \"Fucking cunt\". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.\n\nWe agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's\/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.\n\nI told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.\n\nOnly problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because \"if they get to make noise I get to make noise too\". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.\n\nAITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ######","completion":" NTA \nWhat the fuck??? Why are you even letting this man in your kids life ? He sounds like the typical American wife beater. Get out of that situation. He will be in jail soon anyway with that sort of personality. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tonight I ordered in food from DD. \n\nMy building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box. \n\n\nAbout 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.\n\n\nGetting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.\n\n\nTypcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left. \nHonestly I do not know if it removes \nthe tip, which was not my intent. \n\n\nIt's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######","completion":" NTA \nWhat she did was entirely unprofessional and should have called you herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I love kids but I want a kid free night. My family won’t stop asking if they can bring there kids and I say no kids allowed every time. My cousins are calling me an asshole and selfish for not letting them come. They said they should be allowed to bring there kids because they are well behaved and don’t want to pay for a babysitter. I don’t have kids but I don’t think I would ever assume I could bring my kids to someone else’s wedding. ######","completion":" NTA \nThe cousins who don’t want to pay for a sitter don’t have to come, problem solved ######"}
{"prompt":"I(16m) live with my dad and grandfather. My older brother lived with us until he turned 18 last year and moved it to our moms. My dad and grandfather make me go to bed at 8pm and also take my phone and every electronic regardless if they bought it for me or not. I also do all the daily and weekly house chores(Dishes, mowing the lawn, vacuuming the house, etc) and I’m tired of doing it and having my stuff taken. My dad was upset when my brother moved out because they did the same thing to him until he left and my dad doesn’t want me to move out at 18. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \nSave money now. Don’t tell you dad anything so he can’t try and prevent you and on your 18th just leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"know this sounds horrible but there's background. \nI've been married 20 years and I've never been close to her. She skips over our kids on holidays and hasn't acknowledged a birthday, except her own, for about 5 years. My husband, her son, doesn't speak to her because of verbal abuse he had from her growing up. My nieces and nephew (18, 19 and 21) also don't speak to her because she is an awful toxic person. \nIn Feburary she texted me that she had breast cancer. Being a nurse, I jumped into action and got her set up with a visiting nurse, meals on wheels and a housekeeper. I brought her to her first appt so I could understand what type and the treatment options as she refuses to wear hearing aids and has a 6th grade education. I followed up with her brother who lives nearby and relayed what he needs to do to help her. \nThen came her first chemo appointment.  It was 4 and a half hours. She introduced me as \"her ride\" and \"the bitch\" to everyone who came in then sat on her phone talking to \"her real daughter in law\" being my husband's ex that he hadnt seen since they broke up in 1998, about me. Never said thank you. Then I got her home and walked her dog then gave him a bath. Cleaned her house and got her set up with ensure drinks and whatever she needed. Still no thank you. \nNow, I'm in the mindset of she has cancer and she can do or say anything she wants right now. My husband is livid. I didnt even tell him half of it. The more I thought about it the more I just want to wash my hands of it and pass the responsibility to her brother (hes nice but equally ignorant).\nWould i be a horrible person? I'm just over her ignorant shitty behavior. ######","completion":" NTA \nMy son had leukemia and while we gave him tons of leeway it definitely wasn’t a do or say anything you want. You still have to be a decent human being to others who’s are trying to help you.\nShe can get her “real daughter in law” to take her. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22) live in mature student accommodation while I do my Masters. One of my housemates and her husband (early 30s) got pregnant after moving in.\n\nI haven’t slept in weeks and haven’t been able to do my uni work. I am living on this baby’s schedule. I pay a lot to live in this housing and it is against our legal contract to generate noise loud enough to disturb other tenants. I understand that they can’t move out any time soon but I think it’s selfish to have a baby in student housing and they should move out when this is over. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA \nIt’s student housing, not family housing. They need to go ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happned a few months ago but my brother still wont talk to me about it. Basically here's the story, I moved away for college and obviously school is expensive so like most students I was struggling financially. One of my classmates who I got along with worked at a strip club and told me I should try it out because the money is good and she could recommend me. Fast forward a bit and I'm working at the club, money is great, hours are nice and best of all it's basically paying for my schooling and then some. I ended up telling my brother this one day and he went on to tell our mom that I work as a waitress which is whatever. Except that since then she kept talking about how they should come visit me and stop by the restaurant I work at, my brother kept making up excuses why they shouldn't do that and finally I had enough of playing this game of pretend and just told her. My mom wasn't thrilled but she seems to be more understanding. My brother though was furious with me and basically has not spoken to me since then. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \nIt wasn't your brothers place to tell your mom anything about your job from the get go. Your mom is okay with your job. And it seems it is only your brother who has a problem with you being a stripper (which btw might I add is nothing to be ashamed about), so it's his problem to overcome ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking to my 7 year old yesterday when she told me that she fell down a flight of stairs last week. She was not hurt however, because if that were the case I would have known and I did not know about it til she told me.\n\n\nI gave her teacher a call and she conformed that it was true. According to the teacher daughter she was trying to sneak upstairs during break time and was caught by a school prefect. She tried to run but lost her balance and fell down a flight of stairs. \n\n\nThe prefect went to a teacher who found my daughter crying at the bottom of the stairs. She was taken to the school nurse and was found to be completely fine, not hurt in any way. The teachers then decided that it wasn't an issue and this incident went as if it never happened. \n\n\nI was livid. The fact that my child fell down a flight of stairs, which could normally end up badly, was hidden from me just because she was miraculously unhurt? I don't know, this sounds wrong in so many ways. I should have the right to know if anything happened to my child in school out of the ordinary.\n\n\nI posted this incident on social media while demanding an explanation from the school. I was told by the school  that they hope that I could put it down because I am giving my daugher unnecessary attention. At the end of the day she was not hurt and I should just move on like she did. True to that, my daughter seems to be over it and doesn't seems to care. Should I drop this? Am I being the selfish AH for blowing this up? ######","completion":" NTA \ninjuries can show up later and it's important to know the cause. I'm sure they didn't do anything to check for internal damage in a School nurse's office. They totally should have told you so you could keep an eye out for concussion or other delayed reactions. She's 7! \nWhen I was in elementary school I fell off the monkey bars and the principal himself drove me home and told my parents! ######"}
{"prompt":"At a family vacation right now, and I can't stand eating around infants. I'm aware it's not their fault because they aren't capable of learning good eating habits yet, but them getting pieces of food all over their face and their hands, spitting their food and getting it everywhere- just generally being sloppy with their food, which my niece is especially good at- easily disgusts me and being around her immediately spoils my appetite.\nFor this whole trip, I've either been eating in another room from my family or going out by myself. They think I'm being rude by doing this and they've been on my back and they think my reasoning isn't valid- but ridiculous. I try to make it clear that it personally has nothing to do with her, and that I'd be perfectly fine eating around her when she's older and can be more clean. It's also not like I haven't triend eating around her before, but it's a lot easier said than done. Usually ends up with me taking two bites then giving up as a tornado of mashed potatoes, chewed up hamburger and baby saliva is brewing across the table.\nThis is getting to the point that I think I'm wrong, because nobody else in my family seems fazed by her messiness. ######","completion":" NTA \nI’m the exact same way. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live on a private paved road (no question about this) that I share with 4 other homes on a private cul-de-sac, that is about 250' long, we each have a wide frontage on the road.  The road goes through each of our properties consecutively, and there are 3 signs that say \"private road\" or \"no trespassing\".  Every day we have multiple people from other neighborhoods walk past our houses to the end of the cul-de-sac, where they turn around and walk back out, right past all the signs.  We have had several break-ins in our neighborhood (all 5 houses have been hit over the past 4 years), mail stolen from mail boxes, constant litter (doubtful produced by those who live here), dog poop from people who don't live on this road, etc.  I feel i am a nice person and pretty neighborly to those around me, but I really don't like all these people walking on our road.  This paved road wasn't cheap split between only 4 houses, and we have to maintain the road, as well as pick up the litter and dog poop.   Just today, a couple of young mothers were walking with their 3-4 year-olds, 2 which were riding bikes down the road.  One of the small kids wrecked their bike on the pavement and rolled down the road about 10' or so.  Now I just realized i have to also be concerned about liability!  My wife says to let it go, she doesn't like to make waves, but for all the reasons above, I just don't want these folks trespassing.  To me, this is no different than me just walking across their front yard.  I moved here because I wanted some privacy and not a lot of traffic.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \nI was think for most of it that you were, until you mentioned liability. You *should* be in the clear if your signs are posted and clearly visible, but someone could still try legal action and cost you money. \n\nAlso bear in mind I’m not a lawyer ######"}
{"prompt":"Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######","completion":" NTA \nI agree with you that she shouldn't have all 3 dogs out walking if she can't keep them from attacking people or getting away from her. She's TA for acting like strangers in the world need to accommodate her ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  \/ worked part time at a restaurant in the evening \/ finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact. \n\nSince all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight \/ gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######","completion":" NTA \nDon’t tolerate his shit. Part of the problem, honestly, has been you. For the past x amount of years, you’ve programmed him to do very, is any, little part of the parenting work (as you’ve implied). If my mom does all my laundry, I’ll just get use to it and allow it to happen. Same as mostly everyone on the world. Women have been taught to be superheroes and shoulder all the burden. \n\nSo continue to be firm and set up boundaries. Even when things go back to normal, don’t shoulder all the responsibility. Of course, if he comes home late that day, he gets a pass. But on the weekend, for example, let it be known those are his days to put the kids to bed. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed \n\nDuring rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.\n\nI then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register. \n\nI again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock. \n\nI then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######","completion":" NTA \n1) she asked for a bag, not for it to be bagged\n2) putting stuff in a bag isn’t that hard\n3) she assumed that your job description included bagging food ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought \" holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep\". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to \" go feed and take care of my dog\" because \" I was away\" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ######","completion":" NTA \n1. Broke into your house with out you knowing\n2. Filming you 24\/7\n3. Recording everything you say\n\nDude I don't care of she is family send her to jail what the hell\n\nEdit: Have your wife sue her too! ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi, me (F\/37) and my husband (M\/44) are having some loud arguments about I needing him to occasionally take a day off to stay with our 3 kids (5yo, 3yo and 3 months old), so I can go to a medical appointment, as I have a cronic thyroid desease (which has now got out of control due to my last pregnancy, baby is now 3 months old). He says I am being selfish, as he is entering a new position in his job and must not at all take a day off for me going to my thyroid appointment. He his willing to do it for the kids though, if one of them needs medical assistance.\n\nI am a stay at home mother and he is saying I do not respect his work, because I asked him about his new working schedule while mentioning I would need a thyroid appointment by that time. In our country law grants 30 days off per year to spouses of people with cronic desease, but my husband is afraid that the company will not want to give him a new position anymore if he \"keeps asking stuff like this\". He even had an outburst and said he would not work anymore and I would have to pay half the bills (I already pay for half the food). Also he said that if I have money to pay my psycotherapy I should have money to pay the bills too.\n\nHusband says only after september will he be considering to ask company for days off, but I do need that thyroid appointment at a specific timeframe (which is within a month), and I feel frustrated to even having to explain that, as my heath should be a priority imo. \n\nMy only way out would be to ask my aunt and my mother to come and stay with the kids, but they are quite aged and I am scared to leave my 3 month old baby with them, as they may not have the necessary abilities to take proper care of him.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour husband needs to step up to being a parent. Sometimes that means taking time off work. He his a major AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all,\nFirst post so apologies.\n\nMy husband works in almost an all female environment and has done almost 20 years, I accept these work friendships\nLast few weeks I've been telling him that co worker texting him after 10pm asking for a lift is inappropriate, he agrees but doesn't control when they text him.\nhubby has had 2 weeks annual leave and Last night at 1:30am he had a missed call of co worker. He didn't answer we were alseep! \nHe messaged this morning to see what she wanted and it transpires that she had had an episode where she had taken too many paracetamol in an attempt to end her life. \nCo worker had a partner, has family and friends of her own. I say reaching out to hubby was way over the line and although I sympathise she needs to back off, she is crossing boundaries. Hubby agrees and simply didn't reply.... I want to message and tell her directly. However, I recognise she's currently in a bad place mentally and don't want to cause her further anguish. WIBTA?\n\nJust to add there are no trust issues between hubby and myself and she has never sent suggestive messages but has previously phoned drunk during the early hours where she was told to stop. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour husband needs to set clear boundaries for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.\n\nAnd one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently. \n\nThis disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour husband needs therapy, not a change of location. He's trying to solve his internal problems with external solutions. As you have already found out, it won't work.\n\nEdited to add: This cannot be good for your children either. I know someone who had a mentally ill parent that dropped everything and went to a different country when they were 10, and then moved back a year later when their new life in a rural area turned out to suck balls. This shuttling around at a young age coupled with their parent's problems made *them* extremely anxious and they are only starting to fix this as an adult ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour friends seem to be unaware of how dangerous the situation still is. I understand missing the social lifestyle, but they're in the wrong for two things. \n\n1. Clearly not practicing social distancing.\n2. Getting mad at you for not wanting to meet them when you have a baby in your home that could very easily get exposed to the virus. \n\nThey're not only being unreasonable, they're putting everyone at risk. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.\n\nFast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.\n\nSo a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.\n\nNow he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.\n\nReddit wise ones, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour friend clearly saw you as a piece of ass. \n\nAnd he may have apologized but that doesn't erase what he did. He's trying to pin the blame of his asshole move on you. \n\nSounds like he's not the friend he used to be. ######"}
{"prompt":"The whole story is in the title. \n\nMy ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park). \n\nMy boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate? \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYour ex is showing your kids that even though you may not be together it’s good to respect one another. He wrote a thoughtful card and it’s a lovely gesture.\nYou reacting fondly shows them that you can still be friends and co parent. Your kids will remember that even though you guys may not be together anymore you still treat each other with kindness and that’s lovely. \n\nYour boyfriend knew you had an ex husband and kids I don’t know what he expected. Would he rather you were in a heated custody battle only talking through the kids? ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (L) got pregnant in her twenties and gave up a child for adoption. Though my husband and I were upset, we fully supported her and thought she was strong for making a tough decision. \n\nShe’s doing well now and is married with kids. Her husband knows about the child she gave away for adoption. \n\nA while ago, we heard from her daughter (S) that she gave away. Our granddaughter contacted us sobbing that her adoptive family had given her away as a baby and she was in the foster system with an abusive family. She’s 12 years old. \n\nMy husband and I agreed that even though L didn’t want her, she’s still our grandchild and we have the resources to help her. We adopted S and she now lives with us. \n\nWe got S a new wardrobe and redid our guest room to be her room. We also made a college fund and put about $60k in it. Basically we treat her like how we treated L, S is now our daughter by law and in our hearts. \n\nL was indifferent to us adopting S. However, L went ballistic when we told her about S college fund. We didn’t think L would mind since we paid $80k a year for her college education and S is now our daughter too. L is mad because her other kids don’t get a college fund from us even though L and her husband have already gotten it taken care of. But, L says that we are spending more on S and aren’t treating the grandkids equally. She says that her kids will resent us and L for not being treated like S. \n\nHowever, S is our daughter now and L’s kids are our grandchildren. S has no support system besides us and we treat her just like L. We don’t discriminate among our grandchildren and if L had taken in S, she would’ve been treated like the other kids, aka no college fund. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou’re treating S the same as L. S is legally your daughter and not your grandchild so she shouldn’t be roped in with the grandchildren. The grandchildren already have both their parents to take care of them and their grandparents to dote on them. Meanwhile, S seems to have had a terrible life and needs more help than the grandchildren to get up on her feet again. Maybe your daughter is feeling guilty about not stepping up and using you as a scapegoat for her guilt. Continue supporting S! I’m rooting on her! ######"}
{"prompt":"Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.\n\nPre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental &amp; developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.\n\n———\n\nDue to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.\n\nHer mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay. \n\nYesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.\n\nWhen I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.\n\nI ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about\/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired. \n\nI left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou’re friends are being ridiculous expecting all of you to just give her all of your attention all the time. She might be challenged, but that doesn’t make her feelings more important than yours, especially with what’s going on right now with the protests and how that’s affecting you. \n\nDefinitely apologize, but make sure to stand your ground. Don’t let them all emotionally push you around into feeling like you’re feelings and mental health aren’t validated. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months. \n\nI was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.\n\nAbout 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.\n\nHowever that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.\n\nFast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.\n\nWell it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.\n\nContext, both my babies were conceived on contraception. \n\nI said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.\n\nI thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.\n\nSo AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou’re allowed to be relieved over this, and had you understood the situation you wouldn’t have brought this up. Frankly your pregnancy, miscarriage and almost abortion are none of their business. But your SIL asked, and you told her. I hope your SO is sticking up for you against his family. ######"}
{"prompt":"TW: drug use \n\nMy mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou've tried more than once to help her, nothing changes. She broke the law. This is her own doing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Katie and I were really close friends in high school. We are now in our mid 30’s and I got married a year ago, she is getting married this fall. \n\nA bit of backstory: i moved three hours away from our tiny hometown and she stayed there. I would always make time to hang out with her, at her or her parents’ house, when i was home, which was frequent in my 20’s. As i got older and more settled with a career and relationship, i started going home less often. The last time I was home it was only for a few hours and I told Katie if she wanted to see me, she would have to come to my parents house. She said she would, then an hour later made an excuse and never showed. \n\nWhen I was planning my wedding, of course I wanted to invite her. She RSVP’ed yes for her, her longtime boyfriend, and her daughter. They never showed up. I could already feel the friendship had run its course before the wedding, and this just kinda proved it. We have not spoken since. I’m not mad, as I realize friendships sometimes just fizzle out, i just wish she would have at least told me she wasn’t coming or apologized after the fact or *something*.\n\nYesterday, i got an invite to join her wedding group on Facebook and a request to send her my address so she can send an invitation. WIBTA if I just ignored the invite to join the group to get an invitation because i don’t want to go?\n\nKeep in mind this is not the actual invite, this is just address gathering to send invites. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou're actually being pretty mature about it. If you know you aren't going to go, then why let her waste time and money on your invite? ######"}
{"prompt":"My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou were upfront. If you had said it any other you would have given him a false hope ######"}
{"prompt":"(Throwaway of a throwaway because I forgot the password)\n\n A few months ago my brother took me furniture shopping. He needed new chairs and found nice ones but said he can't afford it. I offered him to lend him a bit money he said no first but accepted it seconds later. \n\nWe then go to the cashier (already signed the contract on everything under my name since I had a customer card) and I ask him how much he is short. He then said he has no money with him and never carries anything with him. So I had to pay everything since I signed the contract!!!\n\nI was really pissed that he tricked me..\n\nNow we got the notification that the chairs are ready to pick up. But I'm thinking I only will give him the contract and pick up slip when I get my money back from him. If sure he'll be very mad and throw a tantrum since he's always short on money. But I also have to get my money back!\n\nSo wibta? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou were tricked into paying for the whole lot after he told you he was only short on cash. At that point I would have probably cancelled the contract and said outright that you weren’t paying the whole amount. \n\nBy saying that he can’t have the contract till he pays you back guarantees go some extent that you will get your money. \n\nIf he argues about it. You could always use the fact that. The property is in your name and therefor until he pays for it. It isn’t his. \n\nIf he isn’t willing to pay for it or pay you back to get the stuff from you. then you tell him you will advertise it for sale to get your money back that way. \n\nUnfortunately this is a lesson for next time you go shopping with him. I would be wary as he’s likely to pull this trick again if he succeeded once. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have 4 kids. My eldest daughter (19) and I recently  went shopping for a car. She's job hunting and college bound later this year.She needs a car to get around. I drive a white sedan(this is relevant) \nWe found a beautiful black sedan for which I paid cash.it was registered in my name only,since I would be paying the insurance My plan was  to transfer it to her name when she gets a job. \nNow we both love  this new car. It has a larger interior than my old car and leather seats. \nI have decided to give my daughter my old car and keep this  new one for myself. After all her 3 siblings fit better in the new car.My daughter is livid. \nNow reddit is it  fair? I pay for upkeep of  both cars for now. \n\nTLDR : Should I go ahead and switch cars or give her the bigger car, even though I have 3 other kids to ferry around? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou own both cars, its your choice. You are giving her a car, if you want to set the reality of real life into her, charge her for the old car due to her attitude. Find out what the trade in value is and put 1k ontop of that  so to give her a realistic idea of the value of stuff ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I The Asshole for not giving my boyfriend’s sister in law a quilt?\n\nA little bit of context: I have anxiety, and when I get anxious, doing something where I can see results really helps me. So, my boyfriend got me a baby quilt to sew whenever I have one of my attacks. It’s a cross stitch, and takes a lot of time. Him and I decided for me to finish it and we would keep it for if we were to ever get married and have kids. \n\nMy boyfriend’s brother isn’t by blood. The brother, “J,” and his family adopted my boyfriend in middle school and my boyfriend’s family wasn’t good and taking care of him. Because of this, my boyfriend feels indebted to J’s family. \n\nJ recently married his wife, and she is pregnant. I was sewing my quilt once when they FaceTimed us, and my bf showed it to them, telling them how much work I put into it. \n\nSIL immediately jumped on it, saying how great of a baby shower present it would be for her. My boyfriend and I explained that we would be keeping it for our first child, but I stated I’d be more than happy to make her one when this one is done. \n\nShe flipped her lid and started screaming at my boyfriend that “he should be grateful J’s family took him from the dump” and that “he needs to get everything he can for them” because “he owes them.” \n\nMy boyfriend stood his ground in front of them but later cried to me saying that I should give them the quilt after I finish because they’ve done so much for him. He kept saying I could always make another one. \n\nI refused. I’ve been working on this quilt for MONTHS. Cross stitching is really hard and hurts my hands when I do it too much, but it really helps with my anxiety. I’m also really attached to the blankets because it’s the first thing I’ve ever sewn, and I really want it to have family value. Now everyone in my bf’s family is making me out to be a horrible, selfish person. \n\nAITA for not giving my boyfriend’s SIL the blanket? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou offered to make her one of her own and she wanted yours!? SIL is an AH! ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my boyfriend both have a set of dog tags that we bought for eachother. One has our names, the date we got together and forever inscribed to it and the other says 'my partner, my puppy, my prince' on his and 'my partner, my pumpkin, my princess' on mine.\n\nWe've been together for a year an a half and on that dadt I put a photo of them together on facebook.\n\nA friend of ours, Kris, is in the military. He took offense to us wearing dog tags and made a public post complaining about 'military appropriation' and how offensive it is for civilians to wear dog tags. He sent me and my boyfriend the post with the words \"fuck you\" and has ignored every attempt we have made to contact him.\n\nAre we the assholes? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou have a right to wear them.\n\nThe only thing you’d be a AH for is those names LOL (I joke!)\n\nI hope your pal comes around but ya your not the assholes here ######"}
{"prompt":"Today my mother saw a thing in her social media group where some of our neighborhood’s children recorded themselves saying a thank you message to the current frontline healthcare workers, and then playing a short musical piece on the piano\/violin. This is a sweet gesture, but my mother immediately decided my sister (13) should also record herself doing this because “it gives you a chance to develop public speaking skills.” My sister was reluctant to do it because she thinks it’s cringey and it’s clear that the other children’s parents also forced them to do this, but she caved in. \n\nWhile she was doing the recording, I was videocalling some friends who I haven’t talked to weeks. While I got caught up talking I overheard my mother yelling at my sister, likely because my sister wasn’t doing the recording the way she wanted it to. My sister then popped in my room and asked me “can you combine two videos clips together directly on the iPad?” I was talking with friends so I didn’t elaborate and said “no I don’t think you can, you probably need another app for that.” An hour later I was finished talking, and my mom came in the room, angry that I didn’t stop talking to my friends to help my sister edit the video which *she* was the one who basically forced her into doing.  My mother was also complaining about how she “had to learn how to use iMovie” in order to help my sister combine the clips.\n\nI didn’t confront my mother while she was yelling about how selfish of a sister I am, who only hangs out with my younger sister only when it’s convenient for me to do so, but inside I was thinking that it’s not fair I have to help my sister with this when my mother was the one who basically said “I want this recording done so you can be like the other kids” without providing any help or guidance to my sister. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou had no obligation to help in an activity that it sounds like your sister wasn’t comfortable in and was just going along to appease your Mom. \n\nAlso: \n\n> develop your public speaking skills\n\nYeah a video recording isn’t going to do that. She was definitely fishing to get recognized for a very stay at home activism. Like you said sweet idea but it shouldn’t be window dressed as anything other then what it actually is. ######"}
{"prompt":"My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and  this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou called her out for spoiling the boys. You called her out for her annoying little saying. \n\nI don’t understand why people say contradicting a parent is rude. And I’m an old woman with two grown children. I want to know what they think. And I respect their autonomy. And I think I did when they were 18. They might have different thoughts . Smile. \n\nAnyway, I hate what she says to you. How condescending. People grow and change constantly.\n\n“Mom, if you knew me as well as you think you do, you’d know I am feeling like we are overdue for a talk, now that I’m an adult, about how I feel about your taking the easy way out in expecting me to pick up the slack for the boys.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids. \n\nOur property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever. \n\nOur new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares. \n\nHowever, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that. \n\nWhen we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.\n\nWhen they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou asked them to move and when they didn't you took the next step. Plus it's your property. ######"}
{"prompt":"I already feel like a major AH but my sister says to post on here because she thinks I'm not.\n\nI'm back at home with my parents and older sister because I can't stay at my uni dorm for obvious reasons. I wasn't able to take all my belongings with me because I had to leave for home in a rush, so when I got home I placed a big order of toiletries and other necessities, and I thought I'd treat myself to some nice new skincare products and some workout clothes because I'm going to be home for a while and I wanted to spend some time working out. I didn't think much of it until I video called my boyfriend and told him about my shopping and he got really upset that I'm buying unimportant things right now. He says I should have donated my extra money like he did (we both work at the same restaurant near school and got one last paycheck before going home), instead of buying stupid things. I feel really bad already but when I told my sister she said I wasn't an asshole for what I did but I'm not sure. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou are under no obligation to donate your money. It's tough times for all of us and if workout clothes and skincare products help you get through then go for it! Also you ordered them online - it's not like you went out to the shops unnecessarily. ######"}
{"prompt":"As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.\n\nI am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.\n\nThe subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.\n\nWe were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.\n\nHe said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.\n\nIt really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nYou are mixed race!? Just because someone else is \"more dark\" than you, doesn't change your heritage. If anything, your friend is racist to say that to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWow, you're a really responsible and resilient 15 year old! \n\nYou can help your parents out and still be a kid, or at least that's how it should be. What's happening here just isn't healthy for anyone, especially you and the baby-and it could be dangerous. \n\nYou need at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night and at 15 you need it so your brain is healthy enough for your body to grow and brain to mature. You won't be able to keep this up forever and it's going to get to a point where you'll fall asleep when he needs you most and it'll end badly. You just shouldn't be bearing the responsibility of being a parent at 15 when you're not in fact a child parent. \n\nTalk to them honestly about what this is doing to your physical and emotional health; and that while you're grateful that they trust you enough to carry this load alone at 15 you're honest and real enough with yourself to tell them that it's too much for you. Let them know you no longer feel safe or confident in  babysitting so often alone and overnight anymore. I know that you're probably on limited resources and there's not a lot of alternatives to the situation but that's actually not your responsibility at this age; it's theirs. \n\nBest of luck to you, OP. You're a great kid and you've been a great sibling. Your family is lucky to have you.\n\nEdit: added not and a semicolon. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWhy does he use your room?? What's wrong with his room? \nTell your parents if they think he should be able to use your room then he should be forced to clean it up as well, or if it's no big deal then they wont mind if he uses their room. \n\nI find it weird that he goes through the hassle of moving it constantly. ######"}
{"prompt":"Note: This argument happened pre-COVID, but it's been eating at me for a while.\n\nI was running errands with my mom and my infant daughter and we stopped at a restaurant to grab some take-out. The group ahead of us (a woman with her parents) saw my daughter and commented on how pretty she was.\n\nWhile I was holding my daughter, the woman approached me to ask about her and tell me she was struggling to have a baby herself due to PCOS. I mentioned that I also had PCOS and recommended my fertility clinic. Then she asked to hold my daughter and reached out to her. My daughter shrank away and I was getting my own weird vibes, so I told her it wasn't a good idea.\n\nWhen my turn came up to order, I handed my daughter to my mom. As I ordered, my daughter got squirmy, so my mom let her down on the floor. Shortly after, the woman's mom walked over to my daughter and tickled her. My daughter ran back to me and hid behind me.\n\nI was pissed that someone would touch my daughter after I had already told them no. My mom started to apologize for my daughter, but I interrupted and said that my daughter's body is her own. And if she didn't want someone touching her, then I hoped grown-ups would respect that.\n\nThe other group finally got the hint and left my daughter alone after that. My mom scolded me, saying I was being too harsh about them touching my kid. She said they didn't mean any harm. I told her that they probably didn't, but I wasn't taking any chances.\n\nSo... AITA?\n\nEDIT: Some clarifications: \n\n\\- My daughter started walking on her own at 9 - 10 months. The whole crawling\/pull up on furniture\/walking progression was super quick. \n\n\\- I'm not sure why my mom let her down on the floor, but probably the same reason she thought strangers touching my child was NBD.  ######","completion":" NTA \n\nwhy do people feel so entitled to touch\/hold a STANGERS baby\/toddler?? They don't know you and you don't know them. Yes, they are extremely cute. Just do your little googley eyes, wave, smile and coo. Especially since the mother already said no. \n\nIt also reminds me of service dogs. People want to pet them. Owner says no, they're working. They get all butt hurt.\n\nRespect people's choices. Respect people in general. \n\nThanks for coming to my Ted talk. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my sister recently gave birth, and her husband died ~2 months before that. She called me today asking if I could stay with her because she’s having trouble with the kid. I told her I would have to ask my wife.\n\nI asked, and she said it would be fine. I asked if she would come with me, and she said she would. We think it would be a good “trial run” if you can call it that because we’ve been waffling on kids.\n\nI then called my sister back and asked if my wife could come. She said no. I asked her how long she expected me to stay and she said she didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of being away from my wife for an unknown amount of time, taking care of a kid during a pandemic. I told my sister I couldn’t go if my wife couldn’t come, and she yelled at me and hung up. Wife thinks I should go anyway.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWhen you are married you come together! If you sister wants help, she should accept your wife coming as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.\n\nWe did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.\n\nWe wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it. \n\nDad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them. \n\nBoth of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it. \n\nShe never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.\n\nI was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone. \n\nMy sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.\n\nI’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.\n\nOn one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWhat do they think happens with daughters of single dads? ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can. \n\nMy fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&amp;D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there. \n\nHere's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&amp;D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWeddings are already stressful, don't invite someone you don't trust not to make a scene. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (18f) decided to take my little brother outside to play with chalk today since it’s the nicest day we’ve had in awhile. I was just wearing simple black leggings (not see through or anything) and a top. Obviously I was bending over on the ground drawing chalk with him and after about 20 minutes this lady comes over and is FREAKING out. Telling me I’m dressed highly inappropriately and that I NEED to change my clothes because her husband is peaking out of the window watching me. I told her I wasn’t gonna change but then she called me a *slut* for wanting a “grown man” to look at me, so I did, I went in and changed. I changed into some shorts I had since the leggings weren’t okay and it is VERY hot outside. I only wore the leggings originally because I didn’t shave my legs but I changed for her. I didn’t wanna change into anything thick so shorts were the next best option. So I went back outside and she was just waiting by her front door and screamed that I was a “disrespectful little shit” and went inside and called (you’ll never guess) the police lmao. I don’t know what she told them but 2 of them showed up and she puckered up and was like “look how she’s dressed, there are CHILDREN in this neighborhood”. The police officer quickly glanced and told her I was dressed fine but recommended that I go change to prevent conflict. So I went in the house and my mom tried saying that while it was fucked up of her to confront me, she could kind of understand her frustration. I understand that maybe she was just upset and I wasn’t exactly helping, but like c’mon I’m not the bad guy here, am I? AITA for not changing into something less “tight and revealing” to keep her husbands eyes off of me? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nWear whatever clothes make you feel comfortable on your own property. Really hate hearing about women blaming other women for their husbands being creeps. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make. \nI have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection. \nFast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words. \nI, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion. \nWhen I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon. \nI really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nTime to lawyer up broseph, just to be sure she doesn’t force her way in. \n\nGood on you for taking care of your boys and giving them a stable environment. I hope one day when their adults they’ll let it be known that you did a great service by them.\n\nEdit: changed “to them” to “by them” ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (21F at the time) gave birth to twins about nine months ago, we waited about a day and a half before telling anybody we'd given birth, including our parents. We wanted to wait until we'd named them (we had names picked out before birth but changed our mind once they were born) as well as until we could be sure that Twin A would be okay (she needed to be resuscitated when she was born and was on breathing support in the NICU for a little) before saying anything.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nNobody else has said anything but a few months ago my mum basically called me a dick for doing it saying \"who the f\\*\\*\\* does that\". It's not like we held off on telling her specifically (although considering she announced publicly with pictures that I sent her before we'd even been able to tell my brother or FIL I might next time haha), we just held off on telling her in general. She also hasn't met them in the time since they've been born (obviously won't now because of the restrictions) so it's not as if she was super excited to meet them.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo AITA for waiting a day and a half before telling my mum I'd given birth? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThough I don’t know the specifics. It doesn’t seem you have a close relationship. Sometimes you need time to process things before you tell everyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.\n\nSo I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThis was so much worse than I thought. \n\nI’m not an ant person \n\nOr a bug person. \n\nBut nothing deserves that sort of treatment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day. \n\nSomeone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say \"thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]\". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off. \n\nI also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way. \n\nAnyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was \"wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch.\"\n\nI was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late.\n\nAITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThis isn’t even a debate, your manager told you not to, that’s it ######"}
{"prompt":"I've previously made a post in regards to the situation with my neighbors but the short version is that they used to be my friends mutually with my wife but when my wife and I had issues and she left me temporarily they told her she should take me for everything I'm worth.\n\nAfter finding out I decided to not have anything to do with them, well my child's birthday was this weekend and she really likes them so my wife asked me beforehand if it would be okay for them to come. I said it was fine but don't expect me to be all chit chatty with them and I would probably steer clear.\n\nThe day came and they never showed, I asked my wife how come they didn't come as I thought they were going to. She said that they know I hate them (I don't really hate them, I just don't want to associate with people who actively tried to harm me) that they noticed I won't even say hi to them anymore etc.\n\nI feel bad that they missed out on the birthday party putting aside my feelings towards them. They however haven't made any attempts at reconciliation with me regardless and to my understanding don't even recognize why I dislike them.\n\nSo AITA for this situation? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThey made their choice when they chose a side during your separation; they sealed that choice and all its repercussions when they told your wife to \"take you for all you're worth.\" If they wanted civility they should have stayed quiet and let you and your wife handle your troubles. \n\nYou were being neighborly and a good parent to your kid by inviting them. It's on them that they didn't show; but I can't blame them, they look foolish. As long as their kids are still cool playing with yours I would just let it stand like it is. \n\nYou're clear on your opinions of them and you made an effort. Wipe your conscience bc nobody wants to pack their bags for a guilt trip down Neighborly Lane. \n\nGood luck! \n\nEdit: Corrected quote. Moved NTA to top. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.\n\nSo here's the story.\n\nMy brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.\n\nWe ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.\n\nWhen the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.\n\nAfter that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.\n\nLiterally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.\n\nThis time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.\n\nMy mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.\n\nBut apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.\n\nTldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThey are their children. It's actually worrying that if no one else does it they won't and it has neglect feel to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.\n\nWhen I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was \"a holiday\". This \"holiday\" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying \"This IS your home\".\n\nThis set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice &amp; easy to painful &amp; hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.\n\nSo my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked \"Why not?\". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life. \n\n(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)\n\nThey were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said \"only for a couple of days.\" If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.\n\nThey didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.\n\nWas I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth? \n\nBtw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThere is guge differences between countries in different regions. \n\nSince you were born and brought up in England, its not unsurprising that you would be unhappy their. I think ur parents are kinda TA for what they put you through. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much. \n\nHowever, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?. \n\nI‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused. \n\nIt caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this. \n\nAITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThere is clearly more as to why she doesn't want you to bring Maggie. If your entire family knows then you wouldn't be stealing the spotlight.\n\nAlso, you definitely do not owe her an apology or the money for the tickets. Number 1, you didn't do\/say anything rude to your cousin so she should apologize to you. And number 2, if she didn't want to pay for the tickets then she shouldn't have. Unless you asked her to pay for your ticket there isn't really any reason to pay her back. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.\n\nBio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order. \n\nAita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThe man who raised you isn't either, your mom told him he was the father and had no reason or proof to doubt that. He shouldn't have slept with someone in a relationship, but that's an entire different issue.\n\nYour mom denied you and your biological father years of a chance of a relationship. Probably because in her mind she wanted the man who raised you to be your father and convinced herself this was true.\n\nOnce you begin with a lie like that you can't stop. The man who raised you still is your father, you shouldn't treat him as anyless if was a good father to you.\n\nBut he should support you tracking down your biological father if you wish to ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been looking for a home in the place where I grew up for around three years now. We have found a number of goodies and have even put in a few offers, but nothing has stuck.\n\nUntil a few weeks ago, when we found our DREAM HOME (old farmhouse, 15 acres, perfect location, and places for us both to work from - he is a mechanic and I am a photographer). We instantly began dreaming about raising our family there and staying until we are in our late seventies or so. We are both just shy of thirty now.\n\nThe offer and contract process was a bit difficult, we had to jump through lots of hoops financially and had to prove to them - for some reason - that we could afford to service the mortgage we were taking out. We ticked every box and signed the contract last week - hooray! We got our current house up on the market and have spent roughly 5k on repairs here, inspections there, conveyancing, marketing etc. All is going well.\n\nUntil today. We got a call from their agent telling us that they have changed their mind about selling. \n\nWithout going into too many details, their circumstance has changed and they can afford to stay there. \n\nLegally, they have no leg to stand on, we own the house and cooling off is over. \n\nMorally, I’m not sure. They have owned the house for less than a year (I would feel differently if they had owned it for twenty years and it was a family home), and they have said they want their friends and grandchildren to enjoy it and make memories there. We want to raise our children there and create memories of our own.\n\nAre we the assholes if we proceed with the sale, even though they have told us this is their dream home and we would be taking that away from them?\n\nAh. Thanks in advance. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nThat's what contracts and cooling-off periods are for. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been living with my current roommate for about 5 years now, and she has a habit of leaving her shoes (sometimes several pairs) in the middle of the floor in the entryway, right in front of the door.\n\nI've been tripping over these damn shoes for several years now, and about a year ago i was sick and tired of moving them by hand, so i started just kicking them out of the way instead. Several times i've told her to please put them to the side so they aren't in the way, but it's fallen on deaf ears every time.\n\nOne day we were out getting groceries together she saw me kicking her her shoes out of the way as we walked in with heavy bags in our hands, and she told me to stop kicking them. I responded with \"No, why won't you just put them out of the way instead?\".\n\nA few days later, shoes still there, i got fed up. I put her shoes on top the closet, which is too high up for her to reach, just to prove a point. When she finally noticed she got furious and asked why i would do that, and if i did it just to prove a point. She called me an AH, we argued for a couple minutes, and it ended when she went out the door. It's never been brought up since.\n\nWell, it actually worked. The shoes aren't in the way every single time anymore, but i've been wondering if i went about it the wrong way? Frankly, i felt like i was out of options.\n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nSome people just need a little extra motivation to be considerate ######"}
{"prompt":"I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and  had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She  moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.\n\nSince then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.\n\nMy daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nShe's a fully grown women and she needs to grow up and needs to take responsibility for her actions rather than have you bail her out all the time ######"}
{"prompt":"Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no \"real man\" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids. \n\nHer standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree. \n\nBasically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids. \n\nI told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ######","completion":" NTA \n\nShe has some real issues if she doesnt see the double standard in her requirements for a partner. Good luck to her finding someone like that with the attitude she has (throwing a fit and calling you sexist for calling her double standard out) because she probably won't. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway daughter has Reddit\n\nI have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.\n\nMy daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so  for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ######","completion":" NTA \n\nShe got what she wanted and she wants more.  If she wanted a Switch, she should have told you so.  \n\nYou're not a bad parent but your ex-wife is making it sound like you are.  Your ex-wife should buy your daughter a Switch if she wants one so badly. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.\n\nAbout half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.\n\nWhen he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.\n\nI’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone\/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is\/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.\n\nFWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying\/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nRelationships are built on trust and he’s eroding yours with his behavior. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a 15 year old and the a few days ago I got told I have a condition that will kill me in a year or 2 and there's nothing they can do to help me. I had told my girlfriend and my two best friends and was going to tell the rest of my close circle of friends after school at my house. However my parents informed the school and they informed the teachers and when I walked into my maths class my teacher said 'I heard about your terminal condition I'm sorry to hear about it, if you ever want to talk to my office is always open' and the whole class heard and by the end of the day everybody in my school knews and I didn't even get a chance to tell my other friends. After she said that I shouted at her because I wasn't ready for many people to know and then I stormed out of the classroom and am refusing to go to maths. I don't have to worry about my GCSE (very important national exams) as I already know the syllabus and when I did a practice paper in exam conditions I got 87% (good enough for the top grade), so I'll just need to continue practicing so that's not a problem. A lot of my friends are saying that I'm being unfair because she didn't mean to and that she's rly upset that I refuse to come to her class while others completely agree with me. The main problem is that my parents are saying I'm being petty and that everyone was going to find out when I died anyway so it shouldn't rly matter so AITA. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nProbably going to be unpopular saying the teacher is an asshole here BUT: \n\nSounds like the teacher meant well, but she should have chosen better timing. If this were a random adult she may be forgiven for making this slip-up, but in the UK teachers are regarded as 'in a position of trust'. They are trained on handling confidential information, which medical information is a part of. \nAnd Imo this is what makes it inexcusable that the whole class was informed of confidential information. ######"}
{"prompt":"**Not sure if I'll get a lot of hate but only serious replies please.**\n\nMy wife(29f) and I (30m) went to her friends house to let our kids play together (both around 2). I'll call them Jack and Jill. I had never met them before but my wife told me their kid was a terror the last few times she saw them. \n\nThings were going pretty well. Jack and I were at the grill when I commented, 'Your boy is so well behaved...' and I said something about how other toddlers don't like to share and throw tantrums. We joked back and forth about kids wrecking stuff until the girls came up and asked what we were laughing at. I told Jill how their kid was well behave and she blew up on me. \n\nQuick note, my wife is white and I'm asian. Jack and Jill are black. Jill pointed out it was racist to assume her black child would not be well behaved. Being jokey\/tipsy I said, 'I didn't think the terrible twos typically care about race.' Well it didn't go over well with Jill and she started screaming that I'm a 'racist republican.' Jill was super cold and implied I should go. I suggest my wife and daughter stay and I'd pick them up later. I apoligized and ended up just playing some golf until they wanted to be picked up. Jack came out to apologize for his wife. I apologized for being insensitive and if I affended them. He said no he did not think so and I thiught that was that. \n\nMy wife later said she didn't think I said anything wrong. Jill put up a facebook post about it later without pointing me out personally.\n\nAITA here? \n\nSide note: I'm conservative and typically voted republican (didn't vote in 16 and won't in 20). My wife likes to joke about it with friends and family. So I assume thats how Jill knew I was republican. I avoid bringing it up or talking about it because I hate talking politics when I want to have fun\/relax. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nPretty sure the terrible twos really aren’t a race thing. Some kids are easy and some suck. The only one making it a race thing is your wife’s friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (28f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. Shortly before we got married, we purchased our home. \n\nWe’re at a point now where we’d like to start trying for children. My husband’s father has a rare genetic disease that is similar to Parkinson’s. He’s wheelchair-bound and has little control of his movements. \n\nMy husband and his sibling both have a 50% of having inherited this disease from their father. It’s an awful disease and I hate watching my FIL struggle. My husband and his sibling were recently talking about going for testing to determine if they’ve inherited the disease. My husband is nervous because he doesn’t want to find out if he has it or not. \n\nI’m scared of this disease being passed along to my children. Obviously I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I’d like for us to know and that way, if he does have it, we can explore our options. \n\nThe other day, he wanted to have a serious conversation about us beginning to try for children. I was open and honest and said that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of having children just yet and I’d like for him to get tested for the disease along with his sibling. \n\nHe got very defensive and said that I’m being selfish. He accused me of not wanting to have a family with him, of being ashamed of his family (the disease is caused by generations of in-breeding, low population density of where is parents are from). I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, I just want to ensure that our future children will be healthy. \n\nAITA for wanting him to get tested before we have children?\n\nTL;DR my husband’s father has a rare genetic diseases that my husband has a 50% chance of having inherited. I don’t want us to start trying for children until my husband gets tested for the disease. ######","completion":" NTA \n\npassing along a late-onset disabling genetic disorder would be a crappy thing to do to a child ######"}
{"prompt":"My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.\n\n I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.\n\nHe was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nOf course they think you're an AH, they're not even out of their teens. \"I can't trust you and you clearly have no issue lying to my face so no, I won't be hosting your friends in our space\/letting you have that much freedom\" is pretty damn tame for getting a pretty serious permanent body mod. If you were trying to punish the 19 yr old, you'd be in the wrong because he is an adult. The 16 yr old is still your responsibility, though. \n\nMeanwhile, did he give it to himself\/get a friend to do it or did a shop do it? If a shop did it, you really need to report them. Regardless, make sure a pediatrician gets a look to make sure everything has healed up all right (it should've if it's been that long, but better safe than sorry and he could be lying about the timeline as well) and if it wasn't done by a professional try to find out what they used for ink. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.\n\nWhen lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.\n\nI thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long. \n\nI'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nMy husband and I kiss (just a small peck) and say I love you almost every time we pass each other and we’ve been married 14 years. She’d hate living with us lol ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other. \n\nHe's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.\n\nI have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.\n\nIt's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.\n\nMy mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.\n\nI don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.\n\nBut a couple times, I've said stuff like \"can we all go back to (city) as a vacation\" and my dad will get mad at me like \"Girlfriend has never been to (city)\" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.\n\nOr when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said \"And we were with my dad's ex Jen\" and my dad got upset and corrected me.\n\nHe's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me. \n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nMy cousin's mom is on her 5th husband and her dad is on his 4th wife. She now calls all the husbands Bill and all the wives Jill. ######"}
{"prompt":"Well for starters, my stepdaughter is seven. I've been in her life since she was 3 and I love her like my own. Because of covid she has been spending a week at her father's and a week here when she normally spends just weekends at her father's. I look forward to her coming home. Well lately my wife has been yelling at my daughter for small things. And by yelling I mean actually yelling. Like yesterday my daughter had eaten some gummy bears and immediately after went to use the bathroom. My wife instantly yells at her for not picking up the wrapper. Yesterday as well she got yelling at for not picking up her toys immediately after she was done playing with them. This has been going on for awhile just Minor problems she gets yelled at for and I have brought it up saying she's just a kid and isn't being bad. I can see it on her face how upset and confused she is not knowing she's doing anything wrong and in my opinion she's not. Well yesterday was her first day home in a week and for her to get yelled at like that bothered me. So I said something to Cassandra and now she's pissed off at me saying I'm calling her a bad mother. I stated I am not but she doesn't need to be screamed at all the time. She still is upset and mad at me, but hasn't yelled at her since. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" Nta \n\nKids learn by repetition. You repeat things a milion times and show by example. She might think yelling the way it's done but in over all it just ends up in a way that a kid doesn't want to confide when a real problem ensues.\n\nIt's possible the kid shows some habbits her father has and your wife unconciously hates them because she is reminded of her ex. I doubt solving problems with yelling is something she wants her kid to pick up. Don't give up on this please. ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently my mother decided she wants to paint our house and she game up to me and asked me if I wanted to paint the back of our house and the walls in our back garden for money (she is hiring a professional to do the front). She said it shouldn’t take me more than about 2 or 3 days but upon closer inspection it could easily take somebody upwards of 5 days to do, I have a pretty big back garden. She said she would give me €50 for painting the back of the house, which would probably have taken me about 4 or 5 full days of painting nonstop. I said that quote was a bit unreasonable and that I’d rather not do it. She immediately went crazy, saying things like, you’re a disappointment and an embarrassment and I don’t want to look at you. AITA for not wanting to do this 5 day job that she offered me €50 for. To put it in context if I painted 8 hours a day for 4 days that would be about 32 hours giving me just about €1.50 per hour of work. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nJust paid $450 for some guys to paint 1 side of my house(took 6 quarts of paint, plus trim) \n\n€50 probably wouldn't even cover the cost of the paint ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.\n\nI pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.\n\nEven with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was. \n\n*\"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!\"*\n\nI felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIt's your money you can do what you want with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.\n\nSo today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.\n\nHer two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.\n\nThey've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIt was her will and testament, not theirs. It’s rightfully yours. Heir by next of kin only takes precedence if no will was left. ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28.\n\nMy parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kid of cold our whole childhood. \n\nMy brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.\n\nI confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.\n\nI told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults. \n\nI mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIt is literally their job as parents to provide for you for the first 18 years.  You owe them nothing for that ######"}
{"prompt":"I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months. \n\nA was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.\n\n2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb\/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind. \n\nMy original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIf you were discriminating against her, you wouldn't have cooked for her at all. IMO you were incredibly sweet by researching and cooking a separate meal for her so she would be able to eat with everyone. 100% NTA ######"}
{"prompt":"Approx 4 years ago I split with my ex. We were engaged and he had a close friend of mine design the ring. My friend knows me well and spent months searching for the perfect stone. It was my dream ring.. too bad it wasn’t my dream guy. \n\nWhen we split he insisted I keep the ring, and I’ve pretty much had it hidden away since then not knowing what I wanted to do with it. It’s quite valuable so I’ve considered selling it, but I do think it is beautiful (especially the stone) and also carries a lot of life lessons with it - our relationship essentially ended because I decided that I was worthy of love and deserved better, so I feel that it somewhat represents my strength and self love more than it represents him or the relationship. \n\nI feel now that I would like to have the stone made into a pendant\/necklace and sell the setting. I’m a bit on the fence and don’t want to upset my current SO by wearing part of my engagement ring from my ex. WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIf you wanted to wear it on your left ring finger that would be one thing, but if you re-set it it’s no longer an engagement ring. There’s no point in owning gemstones you can’t wear.\n\nFor the record, nearly every divorced woman I know owns a pendant made out of their old ring. Wedding and engagement rings are expensive and have terrible re-sale value. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, this recently happened. My boyfriend brought some Stoney Patch he got from a dealer in our small village. I'm not extremely educated when it comes to weed and other kind of things. I'm always that kind of person who likes to research new things so I googled it and watches some videos, some people say that these ones that he got are fake etc etc. I thought okay, I'm not surprised because dealers can sell you fake stuff especially when you're in a small village in England. \n\nMy boyfriend ate one, went to the bathroom and came back and sat with me in the room. This is where I might have fucked up... I told him in a very nice voice \"don't get your hopes up...they might be fake\" and then he got a bit irritated and angry and  said:\n\n\"Oh my God shut the fuck up, do you have to be such a buzz kill? Let me fucking enjoy it\". I didn't mean to be a buzz kill, I just wanted to share what I have read online about it. It was not my intention. I got a bit sad because I always feel like I can't say things without him getting angry. Anyways. I told him to not get angry because I just said one small thing but then he also said I ruin everything and I have ruined this. He said he doesn't care if they're fake or not he wants to enjoy them. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIf you can’t tell him anything without him getting angry I have some bad news for ya ######"}
{"prompt":"Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.\n\nRecently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nIf she has a history of breaking things I wouldn't lend her anything either especially because she had your dad ask you instead of asking herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as daughter loves browising reddit\n\nI have two kids a daughter and my son. They both love Nintendo. My son has a ps4 and a switch lite my daughter has a home console switch and pc. My daughter is 16 and my son is 14. Today my daughter went into my son room and grabbed his switch lite and took it near the stairs. She tried stealing my sons Pokemon collection in sword and shield as their ton of shines. \n\nMy daughter ended up dropping my sons switch lite My son saved up for his switch lite and it fell and broke. I heard the noise and found my switch lite and found my daughter their she was trying to escape. After that I then went into my daughter room and told her since she destroyed my sons switch  lite she is going to have to give up her home switch since she destroyed it . My daughter started screaming at me saying I am a bad parent and I hate her. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI’m sorry this is really hard to read.\n\nThe daughter broke something that the bro saved up for. That’s messed up yo. ######"}
{"prompt":"We don’t usually have arguments, but when we do, it gets intense. I don’t ever shout at her, my parents always did that shit to me and I would never do it. The thing is, she always cries and says I’m being too harsh. I honestly don’t think I am. \n \nI feel like crying in a fight is an unhealthy way to make your point. You can’t just cry for everything just to get your way. When I told her this, she burst into tears and began saying that I don’t care about her emotions.\n \nSo, AITA?\n \nEdit: My reasoning is that whenever she cries, I feel shitty, like I did it to her. I don’t know what to do then, I can’t keep on making my argument. Our most recent argument was that she made a $500 purchase without consulting me. It was just for another purse. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI'm a cryer. I can't get through an argument without tears, I hate it, and I hate when people judge me for it or think I'm being manipulative just because I'm crying. I literally can't help it, it's a physical reaction to stress. BUT, my husband knows this about me, and we made up from the beginning that I will not let tears get in the way of communication. Sometimes our discussions about intense topics take a lot longer. Sometimes I have to wait a long time after he says something before I can respond, so that I can get myself under control. So he calmly and patiently waits until I'm ready, and then we keep talking it out until we've resolved the issue. I don't just start crying and end the conversation there! As well, I know in the beginning it made him feel bad when I cried, like he felt guilty that he caused me to cry, or worried that he was hurting my feelings, so I frequently reassured him that it was just my reaction to stressful conversations and I would hate for him to feel bad about it, and these days it's just a given.\n\nIf she's using her tears to avoid the conversation, I say that's all on her and she's totally in the wrong. ######"}
{"prompt":"Earlier this week, I had a really strange doctor's appointment. I want to say up front that my doctor didn't harass me or make me feel uncomfortable during the appointment, but it was an unusually long appointment (almost an hour) where the doctor asked me a ton of questions about myself that didn't relate directly to my health. I didn't really think much of it at the time, I just thought he was making small talk. \n\nI went to this doctor as a referral from a close friend of mine who had the same experience. Really long appointment, tons of questions, overall a very friendly guy. My friend interpreted this as a doctor who actually cares about patients since most doctors will barely spend 15 minutes with you. \n\nThe thing is, the day after this appointment I got a text from my doctor saying that he thought I was a beautiful and confident woman and he would love to go out with me sometime. I never gave him my number, he must have got it from the forms I filled out before the appointment. \n\nI haven't replied to him but this feels really sketchy to me. I have no idea if this is legal or not but it definitely feels unprofessional. I have a feeling he texted me and not my friend because he asked my relationship status in a casual way. It didn't really register at the time but now it feels really manipulative. He did the same thing to my friend, and she's not single. \n\nI don't want to ruin this guy's career, but I do think it should be known that he's invading his patient's privacy like this for personal reasons. \n\nWIBTA if I skipped confronting him directly and went straight to reporting him? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI'd report him right away.\n\nHe's abusing his position to gain access to confidential information about his clients.\n\nMost likely, he's done this before or will do it again. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now.\n\nRecently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans?\n\nThis is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI wish more people where like you and spoke up about family cheating on theyre SO.\n\nYou did the right thing and your bf is stupid for not wanting you to say something.\n\nStay honest ######"}
{"prompt":"My son and only child is 13. He woke me and my wife up crying and shaking the other night, he’s never ever done the before, so I was concerned. My wife, on the other hand was mad, she told him to go back to sleep in a snappy tone. \n\nI got up and lead to the kitchen, I got us a glass of water and we talked about it for a while. It was pretty bad too, i don’t think I should say it here, because it was a private talk. All I’ll say is I get why it made him cry. \n\nI tucked him back in and ran my fingers through his hair till he fell asleep. When I got back to our bedroom, my wife asked where I was. When I told her, she asked what the dream was about, I told her that she would know if she cared earlier. This pissed her off. AITA?\n\nEdit: I apologized to her, but she won’t apologize to our son. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI understand being annoyed at being woken up. But your child came to you in tears. It’s a hard choice to wake up your parents because you need them. \n\nI think your response was appropriate. She could have realized she reacted poorly and joined you both to apologize and talk about it, yet chose to remain in bed. She didn’t care enough in the moment or after the fact when she knew you were with him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (34f) husband (33m) has terrible allergies. This time of year his nose is always running. This is not his fault. However, what he uses to blow his nose blows -my- mind. Bathroom and hand towels (his and mine), kitchen towels, shirts, my sweaters, socks (both clean and used)- anything. And on top of this, he leaves whatever he’s been using laying around because he might need it again later. \nAfter a few nasty surprises and a few instances of having nothing to dry my hands with in the kitchen, I bought him a big pack of handkerchiefs from Amazon, and a big pack of new dish towels. I asked him if he could please just use the new handkerchiefs and the -old- dish towels and spare the other household fabrics, and put the designated nose-blowers in their own spot. \nHe snapped “You know you can wash all of this stuff right??” and implied I’m being judgy and making him feel bad just because he has allergies. This feels crazy to me but.... AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI see so many of these posts where the married man has no awareness or consideration of simple hygiene tasks. From missing the toilet bowl to this, blowing his nose in clean clothes and not washing them?  Yikes. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife is a professional level chef, or I guess was. Anyway, I usually cook on weekends and Fridays, and she cooks during the rest of the week.\n \nThe thing is, when she sees me cooking, she always tries to help me. Like, I don’t add enough salt, then she adds more salt. It’s super annoying, and I’ve told her to stop that or else I wouldn’t cook about a hundred times. I decided to stop last Sunday. Now, she’s getting mad at me. She says that I’m throwing a tantrum. \n \nI’m not. I’m just keeping up my words for once. If she changes, then I’ll cook. \n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI remember hearing a story that a famous tv chef’s wife started a spaghetti sauce and he came in and tasted it. “That’s good, but you should add this and this will make it better...” She walked out of the kitchen to let him finish the sauce and refused to cook for one year. Next year rolled around and she started her spaghetti sauce again. He went in and tasted it. “How is it, dear?” “It’s the best sauce I’ve ever tasted. I wouldn’t change a thing.”\n\nNow they share cooking. Lesson learned. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite. \n\nMy sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.\n\nGrowing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone. \n\nI understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nI hate that the default in society is “I want kids”, and you have to justify why you DON’T want them. \n\nThe default should be “I don’t want kids”, and people should justify why they DO want them.\n\nWe would have less crappy parents that way. ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepson is only 19 and has crashed two cars while drunk, has been fired from about 7 jobs in the last two years because he “was too tired” to go to work and leaves his room looking like an episode of hoarders. I can barely walk through his room to do laundry because it’s so messy. He comes and goes as he pleases and walks in drunk almost every night waking me up when I have to be at work the next morning. Tonight I woke up to him screaming “fuck fuck fuck” in the backyard and the smell of burning. He smashed his phone and we think the burning smell may be coming from that but can’t tell for sure. The whole house smells like burning chemicals now and I have two young children of my own who are now having to breathe it in and hear their stepbrother screaming and slurring like a lunatic. I told my husband either he kicks him out and let’s him hit rock bottom somewhere or I will move out with the kids. I don’t deserve to live this way and neither do they. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHow hasn’t this kid been in jail or rehab yet, especially at 19? ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! So this is an issue that's been weighing on me for some time now. A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were on a Zoom call with her parents. I've never felt 100% comfortable with her parents, partially because her mom is known to make derogatory comments about my height. She often refers to the pair of us as \"the long and the short of it\". For context, my girlfriend is 5' 9'' and I am three inches shorter. \n\nThe Zoom call was going well until my girlfriend's mom began talking about her culinary experimentation with souffles. She was lamenting about how quickly souffles deflate, and my girlfriend hurried in to say that I must be a souffle because I was tall-ish in my childhood but stopped growing. I was enraged at what she said, not just because of how cruel it was, but also because she must have known how her mother would react. Both her parents started laughing and her father even went on to compare me to a lemon souffle, which I assume was a racial joke. I then told my girlfriend that if I was a souffle, she must be a double stuffed Oreo because she had gained weight during the stay-at-home-order. Her dad laughed at that, but her mom was very displeased and ended the Zoom call. Afterwards, my girlfriend told me that she was very disappointed in me, although I felt that I had to salvage my dignity in front of her parents. Things have been pretty awkward between us ever since then, so I'm wondering AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHonestly, she shouldn't be dishing it if she can't take it, especially about a physical feature that can't be changed.\n\nYour height is normal, sorry about your girlfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last year, before this craziness, but my ex is still angry about it.\n\nMy son is in high school. His school has a heavily discounted drivers ed program that they run twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. My son's father and I agreed that he would take that program because it was designed around school hours and much less expensive. My son qualified to take the program in the spring, and could get his license at the beginning of June. If he didn't take it in the spring, he couldn't get his license until January.\n\nMy son lives with me most of the time and goes to his dad's every other weekend. While he was at his dad's, he was picking on his half sister and his dad decided to punish him by telling him he couldn't take drivers ed until the fall. He did not consult me on this.\n\nI was very upset when he told me this and asked him to change the punishment. He refused because he felt he would undermine his own authority. I pointed out that this punishment made my life harder, because that was 6 more months that I would have to drive him to school, extracurriculars, friends' houses etc. He still refused to change the punishment, so I told him that I was going to pay for drivers ed on my own. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't work with me, especially because I have made sure that my punishments in the past haven't affected his relationships with his father. For example, I don't take away his cell phone because he texts with his dad during the week.\n\nWhen my son came back to my house, I told him that he could still take driver's ed but he would still not be able to have friends over for a week as his new punishment. He has since been in contact with his father much less and his father blames me for undermining him and letting him take drivers ed anyway. Am I the asshole for undermining my ex? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHis punishment didn't require any effort on his part. \n\nHe should have taken his phone for x days or grounded him. \n\nYour ex has to learn that his \"authority\" or more aptly his parenting decisions has to be done in lockstep with his kid's mother. \nIts his fault for choosing this as his punishment. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy \/ mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?\n\nSo three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.\n\nWhile there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”\n\nI’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.\n\nThe girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”\n\nIt got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”\n\nMy boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHer: I’m super honest with friends\n\nYou: *is super honest*\n\nHer: *surprised Pikachu face*\n\nThis is hilarious, she basically asked for it. She was rude and called it honesty, then when you were like okay she likes blunt honesty, she called you rude. And she doesn’t even see how hypocritical that is. It’s great. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) allow my cousin(26m)and his 2 kids to live with me and my girlfriend. I have extreme asthma and other breathing difficulties. My gf suffers from extreme migraines. I only let my cousin stay because I love my neices. He is an avid smoker and never has payed me for him living here. I let him stay in my spare bedroom that used to be the gaming room. My nieces sleep there too. I've caught him smoking in there several times and asked him to stop. \nA few weeks  ago when I came home I found him in the living room smoking. I yelled at him and said if I caught him smoking again I would kick him out. Well I get a call from my gf at work which is weird but I answered it and she told me she can't find her gold necklace. I first think its just lost somewhere and brush it off. Well I come home just as my gf is leaving to go to the doctors and I walk into my cousins room when she leaves and find a still lit cigarette in the ash tray and I then look all around the room for the box and find the necklace in his empty pants pocket. So i put out the cigarette take a puff of my inhaler and then set them on the table. I proceeded to wait for my cousin. To get back from taking my nieces to the park. He comes back and i tell the girls to go in the other room and then i tell him that he has 3 days to leave. And he then throws a tantrum, calls me names and accuses me of looking through his stuff and then I remind him that he stole from my gf and that he has put my health at risk just so he can smoke.\nMy aunt called me a heartless bitch and hasnt spoken to me since. My gf thinks I was to hard on him. I called the mom of my nieces so she could come and get them. So reddit did I make a mistake by kicking them out? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHe stole your stuff and refused to stop smoking in your home, where you let him stay, for free. You are in no way the asshole. \n(Except maybe for the formatting. My eyes man, they’re in pain.) ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...\n\nWe work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.\n\nI get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.\n\nThis isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.\n\nSo, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHe stole from you.\n\nAnd he tried to gloss over\/hide the fact that he stole from you.\n\nThen he said that you're the problem for being angry that he stole from you.\n\nDon't be with someone who steals from you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Weeks ago my friend Paul, who is a first time dog owner, told me that his puppy seemed a bit sad and didn’t want to play. I told him to go to the vet and have it checked because it could be something. He said he would do it that weekend. The next Monday I asked him how his dog is doing and what the vet’s diagnosis is. He said he didn’t get take the dog to the vet because he and his family had a cook out. I told him to make time because it’s one of his responsibilities as a pet owner, and he said he would. \n\nThe next week he told me that his dog threw up and asked what he should do to make it feel better. I said that it’s not uncommon for dogs to throw up, but he should really go to the vet because the last time my dog was lethargic, it turned out that he had ehrlichia which can be fatal if untreated, and vomiting is also a symptom of that disease. He said he would take his dog to the vet that weekend, but when Sunday came around and I asked him about his dog, he hadn’t taken it to the vet. \n\nToday he called me sounding very anxious and said that his dog didn’t want to eat so he finally took him to the vet the tests showed that his dog does have ehrlichia. He said he remembers me saying that it’s fatal, and he said he's really worried and he doesn’t know if he can take it if his dog dies. \n\nI told him and said that it’s rich for him to say that now, considering that his dog has been showing symptoms for weeks and I’ve been telling him to take it to the vet for weeks but he kept on putting it off. He needed only one hour in the past three weeks to go to the vet but he waited until things got worse. So now if anything happens to his dog, I think he can definitely ‘take it’ since he didn’t seemed concerned about it even though it hadn’t been itself for weeks. \n\nHe got angry at me and said that he was already feeling low and he just wanted my support as a friend and as someone who has been in this situation before but all I’m doing is blaming him. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nHe had ample opportunity to take care of his pet, and he chose not to do anything about it. And now he wants your support? Weren’t you supporting him for the last 3 weeks telling him to take his dog to the vet? \n\nI hope the pup makes it, but if it doesn’t he shouldn’t get another dog. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move\n\nMe [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it. \n\nThis for context: \"Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die.\"\n\nI told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.\n\nHe started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.\n\nLater when he walked by me he said \"Hi, Slut\" really angrily.\nNow I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.\n\nI'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nGirlfriend: Shares interesting fact about bees.  \nBoyfriend: “Quit hating on men, slut.”  \n\nSee how this doesn’t add up? ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (26F) and almost 7 months pregnant (2 days away), I thankfully still have my job. Sadly my fiancé (32M) was laid off, due to his job not being essential. \n\n I have even taken extra days to be able to support us and still have money when baby comes. Today is day 19 of me working without a day off (my boss always checks in with me to make sure I’m okay and still healthy to work, they are the best). \n\n Fiancé hasn’t been able to get a temporary job, therefore I believe at the very least his job, for the time being, is to keep our place in order and clean. He says it’s both our job. If we weren’t in our current situation he would definitely be right, but I’m not only working all week (and seeing how the “stay at home” order keeps getting extended I might not have a “break” until baby comes)but I’m also almost in my third trimester of pregnancy. \n\n I’ve pretty much have gone through every possible pregnancy symptom, and there is not one day of complete peace, once one symptom finally goes away another pops up to replace it. I believe he is being selfish, that he truly doesn’t understand what I’m going through. \n\n Why is so difficult to keep our place clean, even when it comes to cooking, I HAVE to help him. I get off work and I still can’t relax. Meanwhile when I’m at work I’m sure he is online playing video games with his friends. It’s so infuriating.\n\n It’s come to me constantly snapping at him because he is in his care free world. According to him I’m an asshole, just because I’m working everyday and pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t help him clean. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nEven if he was working, you are seven months pregnant. \n\nSpeaking as the husband of a pregnant woman, it’s our job to make your life as easy as we can and he should be doing the bulk of the housework because you are literally growing a human being inside you.\n\n\nGiven that he isn’t working, he should be doing every aspect of the housework. \n\nIf nothing else, he should want to out of boredom. \n\nBut also, get the house in good shape and you can keep it that way with literally 15 minutes of cleaning a day ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nEither replacement cost or replacement item, not original cost ######"}
{"prompt":"So last night my gf showed me a photo of a hairstyle she was thinking of changing too, she asked if i liked it and I said i wasnt a fan but she can do what she wants as its her hair.\nSo today shes in the bathroom for 3 hrs then comes out and then i say. I then say im still not a fan of it but it looks fine. She then cries for the next hour, tells me i should leave then tells her mum who tells her she should get a new bf and im over here like wtf why ask for my opinion if u dont want it. What do u guys think? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nDid she get quarantine bangs??? Lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (25) and happily engaged to a wonderful women.\nI came out to my family last year and since then I was proposed to, I said yes horah.\nHowever my family are, to say the least deeply Conservative. Growing up they were excessively anti-LGBTQ+ which made coming out really hard, I made them a promise that I wouldn't post on social media about it until they were ready and to give them a heads up.\nIt's been almost a year and they stopped speaking to me other than to send me homophobic news articles. \n\nToday over pride month I wanted to tell my friends and cousins. To be honest and show my love, so I spoke to my cousins who expressed support like no other. And I wrote my post on Facebook to the wider audience.\nThen the phone calls from my immediate family came in, demanding I delete the post as I had promised them I'd ask first. My older sister told me she owed me nothing anymore and that my parents were going to kill themselves over it unless I deleted it immediately.\nThese people haven't spoken to me about how I feel, and about me coming out. They've refused to see me when I offer to fly home, saying I'm welcome in their house but not as a gay woman.\n\nI have refused to delete the post and everyone else is giving me the love and support I've needed this last year. My family have told me I've betrayed them.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nClearly they were never going to “give you permission” and honestly, why are you even interested in maintaining a relationship with them? ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.\n\nThe first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.\n\nIf this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days. \n\nI live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach\/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t. \n\nSo, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nCalling animal control to check on the dogs isn't the worst thing to do, especially since you're worried about the animal.\n\nThat being said, don't be too surprised if nothing is done about it. As long as the owner can prove that they're providing the bare minimum (in terms of care), animal control's hands are tied.\n\nA (kinda) similar situation happened to us. Our neighbors kept their 2 dogs chained up in their backyard all day, every day regardless of temp (hot as balls or cold as tits). We called animal control and they verified that the dog had a dog house outside and food. That's it. I felt so sorry for those dogs, you could see the sadness in their eyes, but we couldn't do anything (legally) about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"its been going on for a while, but durring the lock down her complaining about not being able to find a 'man up to her standards' has gotten the better of me(26f).\n\nHer wants:\nroughly her age\nNever married\nNo kids\nhigh paying job\nno exes drama\nfit\/stays in shape\nloyal\ndoesnt mind spoiler her and their kids.\n\nNow thats not an unseasonable expectation on its face but she(36f)...\n\n1 marriage ended in divorce\n3 kids by 3 different guys, yes one is the ex husbands(middle kid)\nVERY low paying job, needs welfare and mom's help to get by since her baby daddys are dead beats\nlotta baby daddy  drama\n60 pounds over weight\nfar as i know shes never been a cheater though\n\n\n\nShes still been trying online dating during the lock down, but she says shes keeping it to just talking with hopes of meeting after the rona. Which i do think is the responsible way to do it and Im very glad shes handling her search that way.   But she keeps complaining, usually via text, every day how theres no good guys that meet her standards.  most the high earners have a kid or ex wife, or dont have time to work out due to his job.\n\nSo I told her, in private of course, that\"you needs to be realistic. 99% of high earning mid 30s men dont want someone with multiple kids by multiple men, that has no income and is overweight. the '1%' of men look for the '1%' of women.  If she wants a new husband she'll likely have to settle for medium income and probably at least an ex if not a kid\". She called me a bitch for trying to tear down her dream. now mom is upset with me for being too 'mean'.\n\nwas i an asshole and went too far? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nBut isn’t it a bit hypocritical of her to have those expectations when her own “qualifications” are 180 opposite? She can judge men using these criteria but others can’t judge her with the same criteria? I don’t see logic. ######"}
{"prompt":"My whole family are really annoyed with me and I think it's total bullshit.\n\nAbout 10 weeks ago I got an email to reapply for my student grant next year, so i went online, filled out the application form and they emailed me saying that everything should be fine and that the process would be automatic, that all thet had to do was call the college to confirm that I was progressing. \n\nToday I was driving my dad across the city so he could drop his stereo off outside a repair shop to get it repaired. He asked me how I was getting on with my student grant application and I told him I had submitted it 10 weeks ago. He then asked me about the letter and the forms I had to fill out.\n\nI asked him what he was talking about and it turns out that I had gotten a letter from the grant office 2 weeks ago asking for vital additional information. My parents had opened the letter and never told me about it, since half of the details needed to come from them, they just never told me\/forgot to tell me about the letter. The grant Office specified that the documents need to be returned to them within 21 days and include my father's tax return figures which he says he will have done early next week because they are going to visit my sister across the country for the weekend.\n\nThat means it is possible that my letter back to the grant office could be late and I could potentially lose my grant, without which I will not be able to continue my studies.\n\nI got really angry that 1) they opened my mail without telling me. 2) they won't have the documents I need until it might be too late and 3) don't seem to care that I might not get to finish my final year of university. I yelled at them about it and called them selfish and now my family are all telling me how wrong and mean I am.\n\nAITA for getting mad at them? I know it's not great to shout at people but I feel my anger was warranted in this case.\n\nI ######","completion":" NTA \n\nbut call the grant office RIGHT NOW to ask if you can submit a PDF signed copy and send out your physical copy once it’s completed. The mail systems have slowed down a lot anyway, and this system has been preferred for my work grants. NORMALLY with grant applications, the cut off date is the date it was posted, not received (confirm this with grant officers). \n\nI had the same thing happen except my parents threw out my entrance packet for my university. Just call, explain, and tell your parents to 1) not open your mail, and 2) leave it in a pre determined spot when it comes in. \n\nBest of luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.\n\nMy close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nAutism isn’t a pass to be an asshole or cruel to animals. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi everybody,\n\nI live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.\n\nAcross the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket\/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the \"Nachtruhe\" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music\/tv.   \n\n\nI myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my \"Nachtruhe\" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for &gt;45 minutes).   \n\n\nI dont know any of them personally\/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.\n\n  \nThey now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nAs you said, you would have let it go if it were just 10 minutes. As inconsiderate as they were, I guess 10 minutes isn’t that bad. \n\nBut there seemed to be no end in sight. They were preventing who knows how many people from sleeping. People who have to work in the morning. \n\nSome laws just ask to be broken and people will look the other way... until you become obnoxious about it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom is graduating from her PhD program. She’s been using a hand me down MacBook Air for over 5 years, and it’s basically falling apart at the seams. So as a surprise my bro and I got her a brand new MacBook Air.  \n\nMy mom has a lot more money than me. She can easily buy herself a laptop but she doesn’t like to spend her money. The laptop was a big expense for me but it was a special time in her life, she genuinely needed it and I knew she wouldn’t get it for herself, so I didn’t mind. \n\nEver since the laptop arrived she’s done nothing but complain about it. It’s too slow (but every time I check it it works fine). The first few days she refused to even open the box to unpack it. She’s been saying she would rather have the money instead and joking (partially) that she would use it for Botox. \n\nShe’s been saying she wants me to return it or buy it from her bc I don’t have a computer. I got fed up and asked if she was sure and she said yes excitedly  thinking she’d get the money. I told her nope. That I needed that money. I told her to go to my brother for his portion of the money if she wanted but I have more important uses for the money. \n\nI feel guilty because it is a gift and I feel If I could afford to I would just give her the money and brush it off. But I’m also hurt by her attitude. One time she was eating toast with the laptop on her lap and I told her to be careful to not get crumbs in the keyboard. Out of retaliation she purposely started breaking the bread apart over the computer. I’m willing to go out of my way for a need she genuinely has but I can’t afford to buy luxury items for her that she can easily shoulder the expense for. \n\nShe’s sulking at me now and said “you shouldn’t force things on me I don’t want.”\n\nAm I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nAnd your mom is a very immature woman. Which goes to show you, education and maturity are 2 different things. \n\nYou did something nice and sometimes those gestures are wasted on the wrong people. This probably isn’t the first time you mom has shown you this behavior. So for future reference, ignore her behavior. It’s not a knock on you but on her. Get your money back and if you still want, though you aren’t obligated, get her a 100$ gift card or Groupon for botox at a decent clinic. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault.  The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.  \n\nMy sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough.  I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work.  She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me.  Her biggest insult she always calls me is \"divorce baby\" and I hate it with a passion.  Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over.  I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.  \n\nHer birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down \"happy birthday\" and called it a day.  My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby.  She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.  \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nAnd she needs to take her anger out on her dad, the actual person that cheated. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now.\n\nRecently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans?\n\nThis is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nAnd quite frankly, I’d question your boyfriend about his morals. Not necessarily because he didn’t tell himself, but because he encouraged the relationship by going out on double dates and allowing it in his home. He obviously thinks cheating is ok, and has a history of doing it himself. Personally, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that because the likelihood of him cheating again seems high since he encourages his friend to do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title sounds kinda confusing. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m french, English isn’t first language.\n\nSo right now I’m(15F) living with my brother(27) and his boyfriend(24). It’s temporary tho, I’ll be back with my parents in 2 weeks. I’ve been with them for a week, everything was going great. \n\nYesterday I got up early and I was bored,  I thought I’d make something. I found easy mug brownie recipe so I made it. I found some powered sugar and there was a tiny bit left, so I sprinkled it on top of the brownie. As I was doing that my brother’s boyfriend walked in the kitchen and saw me. He got angry and asked me what I was doing. He told me that the sugar was expired and made me throw the brownie out. He told me that they were just keeping it because of memories because they got it while traveling. My brother was kinda mad too and told me that I should’ve asked him first before cooking something. \n\nI haven’t apologized and I don’t think it’s my fault. They could’ve kept it anywhere other than kitchen if it’s just a decoration and not actually edible. ######","completion":" NTA \n\nA quick google search shows that powdered sugar doesn't expire and granulated sugar can last years. \n\nThe white powder might not have been sugar and that's why they are mad. Possibly drugs of some kind. It's good they stopped you if that's the case. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé proposed to me 3 days ago. We dated for 6 years previously.\n\nTo give you some insight as to why I’m upset, it’s because he’s RICH. Like owns a Rolls Royce and a mansion rich. Gucci belts and Chanel bags type rich. I didn’t know this when we initially started dating, he revealed it about 9 months into our relationship. \n\nThe ring is beautiful and I know that the ring says little about the quality of a marriage, But when he told me he got it from Etsy (I think) for only $140 after I had been gushing about it to everybody that would listen, I was really, really hurt. \n\nHe spent more on his dogs cage than my ring.\n\nI feel like he doesn’t care about me, but when I let him know, he started accusing me of being a gold digger. His family is accusing me of being a gold digger.\n\nI’m just really jarred because he previously had no qualms with spending money with me and I never took that for granted\n\nI know I’m not entitled to his money and I was never with him for his money, but considering the extent to his wealth I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in my expectations. Am I? ######","completion":" NTA \n\nA lot of people are going to say you’re being shallow for not wanting an inexpensive ring but the ring represents a commitment and where his priorities are. If he was a frugal rich person I could understand but he’s obviously ok with designer labels and buying frivolous things. $140 ring off etsy feels like such an afterthought. \n\nIt doesn’t sound like you are demanding a $100k Tiffany diamond or anything unreasonable. If wanting a nice ring makes you a gold digger I think you need to evaluate what the rest of your life would be like with this man. ######"}
{"prompt":" so i've (17M) picked up casual gaming again, mostly just simulator games like animal crossing and the sims. recently i downloaded a mobile game called obey me! shall we date because i'd been seeing it a while from friends and i thought it looked pretty fun. it's an otome game where you are an exchange student to hell have the option to date demons. pretty fun.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\ni have family link on my phone, so my mom has to approve apps that i download. i sent a request for obey me! shall we date and she approved it. i assumed she read through the game content and didn't have a problem with it. **however**, this was not the case. the next day she asked to talk to me and essentially berated me for wanting to date demons, and expressed that she was disappointed in me playing a game related to occult things. i tried to explain that it was just a game, but she's of the opinion that i will become demon possessed if i continue to play it.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\npersonally, i don't think it's that big of a deal. this game is one of the most fun games i've played in a while. it’s not r-rated. in any case, why would she approve the app if she had a problem with it ? i feel like it's unfair to say i can have it and then suddenly change her mind. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n1. You're 17, your mom shouldn't have to \"approve\" your apps. You're not 10. \n\n2. I've played games of the Shall We Date series before and they're completely harmless. It's honestly crazy to think that you'd be possessed by a demon for playing a dating sim. ######"}
{"prompt":"Due to her work schedule, my daughter's mom can only see her 4 hours a day through the week and on weekends. The past week alone, there were 4 times she was too busy\/didn't have time to pick her up, reasons given were that stayed up all night drinking with her brother last weekend and slept til 5 the next day, had to spend the next day doing the errands she was supposed to do instead of sleeping, laundy, and a date.\n\nI told her I didn't want to her it anymore, since she easily could have prioritized seeing our daughter, and she starts calling me an asshole and saying I don't understand what it's like to be a single mom, or how busy she is. (I'm also a single parent, for the record)\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA \n\n>slept til 5 the next day \n\n\n5PM? ! You can drink 'all night' and be up by 10AM! Especially if you miss your daughter so much?! You gotta prioritize. Switch to water around 1AM or something, sheesh... ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is: \n\nMy youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired. \n\nThe issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no. \n\nNow, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can \"be together for graduation\". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######","completion":" NTA \n\n>she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can \"be together for graduation\".\n\nI, uh, don't think she understands why they're doing a drive by situation. Maybe you can explain it to her. Use short words. Maybe crayons. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is so stupid I can’t believe I’m even asking but according to my daughter I’m the reason for her marital issues and I made her husband “tear up” So I was out of town overnight for my sister’s wedding. My wife didn’t attend because due to covid she could only have 15 people and my wife was understanding of that. I was supposed to come home in the morning but I decided to drive home and got there at about ten. \n\nMy daughter and SIL are staying with us while they get their shit together, and I don’t have much respect for him. For the most part I ignore him though I do ask sometimes if he has any job interviews scheduled and that apparently pisses him off. So I got him at night and my wife was in the shower and because I’m a terrible person I wanted to scare her. She’s so sexy I ended up in the shower with her, clothes and all, but I guess my daughter and SIL heard her screaming and came to check.\n\nSo I opened the door wearing my wet, admittedly expensive suit, and I guess that just set my SIL off. He started bitching about how I have so much and I take it for granted and I have no idea what he is going through. I told him I’m not responsible for his failures and I’ll fuck my wife in the shower anytime I want to.\n\nAccording to my daughter I’m a bully for throwing his hardship in his face, but I’m not sure if I can take her at face value because she hates my wife, and the thought of me in the shower with my wife probably set her off. Well now the guy is sulking and ignoring me. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA \n\n>He started bitching about how I have so much and I take it for granted and I have no idea what he is going through. I told him I’m not responsible for his failures and I’ll fuck my wife in the shower anytime I want to.\n\nDude literally is living rent free in your house and has the audacity to lecture you on taking things for granted?!?!?\n\nLol does he see the irony in that? ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology\n\nSo I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.\n\nFor clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.\n\nI ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat\n\nI ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her\n\nWhen we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.\n\nI am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n>ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat\n\n>I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her\n\nShe has a victim complex. You should not enable her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since my (28M) gym closed a few months ago, I've developed a pretty well-stocked home gym in my garage. The only problem is my garage is terribly lit, dim, and depressing. I've been working out with the door open for natural light, usually early in the mornings when nobody's out.\n\nYesterday I slept in pretty late, and only got to working out at 11. 15 minutes in, my neighbor who was doing gardening work across the street yelled over that I should \"quit showing off\"\n\nI put on a tank top (I'd just been wearing leggings up to that point) and partially closed the garage door, but she sighed and shook her head on and off until she went inside.\n\nAITA here? I was behind a bookshelf most of the time and I didn't think she'd see me. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n&#x200B;\n\nYou are free to do what you please in your garage. Are you sure she wasn't joking? It sounds like something I'd jokingly say to a neighbor who was clearly more physically fit than me, and I'd have zero serious issue with them working out. In fact, If I jokingly said that and saw that the neighbor took it seriously I'd feel like a total asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"We dated 15 years ago and have remained friends this whole time. Over the years, his political view points have changed drastically from what they used to be. He's now very heavily right-wing, which is fine. It doesn't interfere with our friendship really at all. We just don't bother to argue about the things we disagree on.\n\nLately, his Facebook posts have very aggressively focused in on the subject of abortion. I think he needs to have more grace on the subject because he pushed me to get an abortion when I got pregnant by him as a teenager. I absolutely believe it was the best decision but at the time, I was so torn and scared and had no idea what I wanted to do and he pushed it.\n\nNowadays, he has absolutely no tolerance on the subject at all. He digs his heels in and says that anyone who would make that decision is a murderer - no matter what their circumstance is. I know that people grow up and change their views but he's just so extremely against things that he's benefitted from in the past. Another example is how adamantly he believes that state assistance programs need to be completely abolished... Even though those are the programs that fed, clothed, and housed him his entire life. It just rubs me the wrong way. \n\nAnyway, he was berating people on this particular thread about what an abhorrent choice it was to terminate a pregnancy. Even belittling people on his thread who were sharing their own personal stories. \n\nI ended up commenting something along the lines of \"your comments here are really shocking considering the fact that you sang a very different tune when you got me pregnant as a teenager....\"\n\nHe ended up deleting the whole thread and messaged me about how that was completely different and very personal and that I shouldn't be spewing his private history all over the place. \n\nI apologized because it did feel wrong but now I'm wondering if I'm actually the asshole given how he was acting toward people who have made the same decision as himself.. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n“That was completely different” is the same excuse those whack jobs who are currently infringing on women’s rights use when their dirty laundry gets aired out about their mistresses aborting. \n\nYour ex needed a reality check and you gave it to him. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (22 F) family is very religious, I am not but I respect it . I am the only child that still lives at home. We are not a close family but we do have weekly dinner’s where my other two siblings come to (25 M) (30F). My mother (65 F) uses this weekly dinner to insult me during her “prayers” before dinner. Think “Dear God please help us for SOME members of our family are cold and heartless” and “Dear God please help SOME of us for being evil”. I usually interject and say that a prayer is not the time to insult me. Then she says that’s what prayers are for and it’s rude to interrupt a prayer. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA \n\n\nHave some fun with it. \n\nWhen she insults you shout out *\"amen Lord!\"* Insert an occasional, *\"mmm  hallelujah\"* in there as well. If she gets really ornery, you can try speaking in tongues. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty. \n\nI don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night. \n\nWith this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA?? \n\nAlso for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.\n\nTl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n\n\nYeah seems like she’s a lazy gold digger looking for a free ride. My guess is that she’s more than found out how much of a doormat you’re willing to be. Not to be a dick but, dude, come on. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just as the title says. \n\nI have a family full of health-nut anti-vaxxers. My cousin in Australia just had a baby and is very vocal about the fact that she is not vaccinating. I am not immuno-compromised but I have many friends who are, and I feel like it's the right thing to do so as to not spread anything to people that I care about. I have my vaccinations, I am at very low risk, and I guess I'm feeling guilty because I am technically safe to meet her baby.  I felt very confident in my decision at first but now the backlash from my family has me second guessing myself. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n\"Let's bring our unvaccinated newborn baby to meet new people during a global pandemic\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My Nephew (14) has been going through a rough patch. He’s continually acting out and getting in trouble. Both he and his mother decided they needed a break, and he’s staying with his father for the next month to go camping.\nHe keeps calling home to complain to his mom about his Father and stepmom over trivial matters (usually food). He’s also doing nothing but watching videos on his phone and used up all the data we had. It was the end of the month so it wasn’t a big deal, but I warned him not to use all of our shared data on our family plan (5 people share it) or I would have to suspend his phone until he gets back. \nWell sure enough he used our entire data plan (6gb) in one night watching videos. So this morning I suspended his phone.\nAITA for suspending the phone?(he can still use WiFi, and call his mom with his fathers phone. )\nI know he’s homesick, and emotional. And that having his own phone allows him to feel a measure of control and relief. I could switch our old plan to unlimited for another $120 more a month, but I’m cheap and that seems ridiculous. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n*But*, the reasons you explained at the end for why he likes having his phone (emotional, homesick, measure of control) make me sympathise a tiny bit with the kid. Just a tiny bit. Is there a way to just turn data off on his phone? ######"}
{"prompt":"For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy. \n\nAlice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to \"do things right\" and \"provide the best start in life\" (their views, not mine). \n\nSo they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.\n\nHowever, when I said \"sure\", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package. \n\nBut Alice &amp; Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier\/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.\n\nWIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######","completion":" NTA \n\n[Edited for visibility] IF YOU DON’T HAVE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN YOU COULDN’T BE THEIR MEDICAL SURROGATE AND THATS WHY THEY’RE PUSHING FOR THIS.\n\nIt doesn’t sound like you have any biological children. The reason they want you do it this way is because you wouldn’t qualify as a surrogate without having carried at least one healthy pregnancy to term. \n\nIt has zero to to with chemicals\/cost or any other bullshit. It’s because they couldn’t find a doctor who would be willing to knock you up under these circumstances. \n\nDo not do this. There are a host of legal issues if you DIY this. That baby IS YOUR BABY at birth if you don’t go through an agency. You’re being conned. Your out is just telling everyone that you’re totally willing to do this but you’re not willing to have sex with your BIL\/be turkey bast’ed. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y\/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek... \n\nwhen this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy... \n\nLast night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister\/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######","completion":" NTA \n\n- he was basically harassing you, which is unacceptable\n\n- you should've held out, but it's not really your fault that you didn't\n\n- the sister is understandably upset about this whole situation\n\nYou should show your friends this post to explain what happened, if anyone asks. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently, our street has started sharing what more or less amounts to hobby gift baskets with eachother. It started as a \"everyone's stircrazy, surprise, there's cookies on your doorstep.\" one-off, but because of reciprocation and a little bit of oneupsmanship, its become a weekly thing to get a basket from someone on the street, either fresh vegetables or jam or cookies(or in my case, wine. this is important for later). Out of roughly 20 homes, 9 or 10 of us take part in this gift swap.  \n\n\nThis week, some homemade cherry wine(with cherries from the backyard) was what I dropped off everywhere. So about a case of free wine. The following day, I got a nastygram from one of the neighbors, explaining that \"while the gift was appreciated, it was disappointing to not include something for her children.\"  \n\n\nEveryone got the same exact thing, a bottle of wine. This was clearly for the household, not for any one member of the house. Just \"hey, thinking of the neighbors. have some wine.\" Talking to my next door neighbor, she says she can see where nastygram neighbor was coming from, I could have easily added some fresh cherries for the kids, but the email wasn't necessary.  \n\n\nI'm in the I'm not the asshole camp, obviously. Free wine is free wine. I don't have to go out of my way to tailor gifts to everyone. ######","completion":" NTA \/r\/ChoosingBeggars \n\nWho's the neighbour pulling that shit? \n\nDon't gift them any more stuff.\n\nDamn! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I am due to have a baby in the next couple of weeks and my husband and I have opted to go the gender neutral route so that if in the instance we have a girl, we are not subjected to what I call the \"pink vomit\". The pink vomit is where people give you everything all shades of pink for the child, no other colours or choices. Some of our family and friends have attempted to outsmart us by saying that they will just wait until the baby gets her before purchasing gifts. I saw through that from a mile away.\n\nI'm contemplating posting on Facebook that anyone who opted to give gifts after the birth, please refrain from giving anything in pink vomit form. I am aware that this may mean people may not give gifts period, and honestly that's fine with me. I'm just afraid that it might sound a bit bitchy and choosing beggarish. I just really don't want all pink. Just some variety. ######","completion":" NTA (yet), but you could probably word your future Facebook post in a less aggressive way. It's understandable that you don't want everything to be pastel pink or baby blue, but instead of posting \"NO BLUE, NO PINK\" perhaps you could choose something like \"gender-neutral colors preferred - gray or yellow would be wonderful!\" That way it's implied that you don't want gendered clothing, but you don't come off as much of a choosing beggar. ######"}
{"prompt":"- This is a throwaway. I am typing this on my tablet.\n\nMe and my husband have two children, twins boy ( \"Liam\") and girl (\" Molly\") who are 10. \n\nOur rules for giving them pocket money are:\n\n- £10 is the start off.\n\n- Any bad behaviour that is continued after a warning will mean £1 is deducted.\n\n- For the 5 weekdays they will each have the oportunity to do 2 houshold tasks a day, each task rewards them with an extra £1 towards their pocket money. If they do 2 chores a day for every weekday, their total is £15.\n\n- If for each weekday their room is tidy (no mess on floors, clothes and toys put away) then they get and extra £3 towards their weekly total. We let them know in advance if we feel their room is unclean so they have a chance to earn the money.\n\n- If their bed is made each week day then they get an extra £2 for the total.\n\nSo if they do all of this their weekly total is £20. On the weekend any chore they do earns them a bonus £1 which is given to them right away.\n\nWe always set aside easy chores, and always give them a chance to say yes or no. We do not save better chores for either of them. \n\nLiam's pocket money at most has been £14, the least he has ever been given is £6. We offer both of them a chance to earn back money they lost. Molly almost always gets £20 and will do a few bonus chores as well. Molly sometimes saves her money, the most she has saved it for is 5 weeks, Liam has had many arguments with me and his dad saying that we are picking favorites and giving her more money. She has more stuff than him but that is because she earned the money and saves it. \n\nMy MIL and FIL do not agree with mine and their sons ways. But we both believe we are doing nothing wrong, since there is no reason my son would not be able to do chores, and we always offer chores to him. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA (which makes Liam technically TA; sorry Liam). This looks pretty equitable to me. He's still getting some pocket money, so it's not unnecessarily punitive, and it's a pretty valuable life lesson. I guess you could encourage him a little more, though. Molly might be naturally disciplined and industrious, and Liam might need a nudge. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.\nNow my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's \"off-putting\" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.\nSo everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.\nIt should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.\nSo, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ######","completion":" NTA (but you’re parents and brother are). It’s your apartment, your parents can’t force your boyfriend out. Also your brother should be respectful of you guys, especially since you’re cohabitating ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in an apartment complex right next to a creek trail. I walk my dog on it almost every day. It’s really nice, except for the fact that my upstairs neighbor never picks up after her dog. I’ve seen her out the window neglecting to pick it up when her dog poops. It infuriated me because it makes the trail smelly and unpleasant. I know her dog’s size and shape of poop and I have stepped in it multiple times. Now, I might have cut her some slack if she was a nice person, but she is not. She glares at me when I walk by, and is overall very short-tempered. When I asked her about the shit once, she told me to fuck off. Not to mention the fact that she makes an ungodly amount of noise at 12am which often keeps me up. Basically, I had had enough. The next day, before her usual walk time, I made a bunch of little flags using sticks and paper, and put her dog’s name on them. Then, I walked down the trail and put a flag on each of the deposits. I watched from my window as she passed each shit, looking confused and angry. Later, I got a knock on my door, and opened it to find Pam, irate and saying that I had been immature and petty, which I admit I may have been. However, it was very satisfying to see her get what was coming to her. I know it wasn’t very nice, but do the ends justify the means? ######","completion":" NTA (a pic would have been hilarious - poop flags might become a thing and take a place in reddit history...next to the poop knife...) ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and my roommates just moved into a new place. We are musical people and people give away old pianos for free all the time on FB marketplace and apps like Letgo. We found one we liked and enlisted the help of a friend with a truck to go pick it up. I asked the person on the app if 1pm was okay to pick it up and she said yes and said her house was located across from a post office in a specific town and that she'd give me the address when I was getting close. No biggie, logical enough. \n\nAs we got closer I messaged several times to try and get the address. No response. We get to the post office and wait a while for a response but dont get one. We knock on some doors of the houses across the street and ask if they knew the person on the app but no one did. We waited almost an hour. The app gives a general location of the seller, which was about a mile from where the post office was, so we drive that direction and miraculously we see the piano from the street in the garage if a house. We pull into the driveway and I go knock on the door, but the house seems abandoned. \n\nThe neighbors approach and we say are there to pick up the piano and they say to go ahead and watch as we put it in the truck. We go home, with the piano, get it in the house and settle in. The seller messages me on Letgo at 6pm absolutely furious that we took it. 5 hours after the agreed upon time, for a free item you could see from the road. She was not happy we found the address without her giving it to us proclaiming we could have taken anything even after I explained that her neighbors were there and we wouldnt have taken it if no one was there. ######","completion":" NTA ...seller sounds like another arrogant time waster. I'd have done the same. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son(16M) was supposed to go to a vacation with his friends for a week. Me and my husband both agreed on it..but, yesterday I went down to our basement, I don’t really go down there, maybe once a year to get Christmas decorations and things like that. This time I decided to clean it because everything was incredibly dusty and unorganized. \n\nI started cleaning and went through some drawers to throw out the unnecessary stuff. I opened one drawer and it was full of those vape things. There were 3 full drawers of it, probably more than 500 of those things. I was extremely angry and still am. I talked to my son,told him he was grounded and couldn’t go with his friends anymore. He’s currently ignoring me and not talking to me at all. My husband thinks that we should let him go and ground him later. ######","completion":" NTA ...and having that many vapes means that he's most likely selling them to other teens that don't have the ability to get one themselves. - That's illegal and he could get into a lot more trouble other than being grounded for a week and losing vacation time with a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"For some background: I get free lunch at school and because of the situation i got sent a card in my name to purchase food. My sister is 21 and works.\n\nToday i got a card in my name (addressed specifically to me not to my parents\/ guardian). My mom was talking to my grandma and brought it up and told me to bring it. I got the card and my mom says “im gonna give it to her sister”. I didn’t say anything and waited until she was done.\n\nI asked her why she was going to give it to my sister and she said so my sister can eat. I told her that because it was my card she wasn’t giving it to anyone. She proceeded to call me egotistical and take the card from me.\n\nSo AITA for not wanting my card given to my sister? ######","completion":" NTA .. it's your card & your sister is working and 21. She's capable of feeding herself ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother brought in a pet and over next 5 months we had it it was going good and I started to develop a small bond ( yeah it sounds cheesy) with the pet. All of a sudden he’s gone and she got rid of him and didn’t tell anyone. I just live in the house but I do everything for the cat, and she was mad at him I guess because he did things like climb tables and scratch things. \n\nAm I in the wrong for feeling mad that she just got rid of him with no warning, no heads up and I don’t even know where? She is trying to reimburse me with the money I spent on food but I don’t even want that. ######","completion":" NTA . Your mom is the asshole . that’s just wrong . \n\nAnd she won’t tell you where she took him . Major jerk move ######"}
{"prompt":"So it was my birthday on Friday and my mom gave me £50 because she didn’t know what to get me. So I spent it on clippers, toothbrush, new joggers, vitamin tablets and pumice stones to help get rid of dead skin due to me recently taking up jogging.\n\nSo when all my stuff arrived my mom went ape shit. She said “why don’t you buy some clothes instead of wearing the usual stuff you wear. You always look like a tramp.” (Consider were on lockdown and I’m lounging about the house in river island\/top man clothes.) she said the clothes that I wear are crap (material often 100% cotton) and trampy. She heavily suggested I go on stores like Nike, Adidas etc where two shirts cost almost £50+ overall.\n\nSo I said “no, you gave me money to buy what I wanted for my birthday and I’ve done exactly that. I don’t care about your opinion on my clothes because you never fucking like what I buy anyways so either way I’m fucked.” Then she got even more upset at me. Like, I buy clothes from places where you can often get a pack of 4 t-shirts for £20. She expect me to get TWO FOR £50!!\n\nAm I the asshole for not spending my birthday money as my mom intended? ######","completion":" NTA . What is wrong with your mom? If she wants you to wear other clothes she can buy them. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy sister has always wanted to be a mother but when she was 16 she got told she wouldn’t have children biologically, I don’t know what’s medically wrong with her.\n\nI always assumed she would adopt a little baby and she said the same.\n\nShe met her husband 6 years ago and they quickly decided to adopt.\n\nI have a newborn, a 3y\/o and a 12y\/o.\n\nEvery year for the six weeks holiday some of my siblings and cousins send their kids to spend time on my farm, I own a big house with lots of animals and it’s nice for them to get some fresh air, most of these children are very young (think age 3-11) I also live closer to our mother which means the kids can see her.\n\nMy sister asked if her daughter could stay, since it isn’t happening till next year, I said sure and that’s that.\n\nMy sister introduced her daughter on a Skype call the other day and she isn’t what I expected, she’s 13\n\nApparently she suffers from autism, my sister said they don’t use “high functioning or low functioning” as told not to by her therapist.\n\nI changed my mind because I don’t feel as though I’m prepared to look after her.\n\nNow my sister is refusing to talk to me claiming I’m leaving her daughter out on purpose, they have a year and I’m just jumping the gun, I’m wondering AITA? I don’t think it’s a big deal, I mean they can still come visit me and I’ll visit them? I’d have my hands full and wouldn’t have time. ######","completion":" NTA . It's a safety concern and you're worried you don't have the capacity to care for a special needs teen and a ton of other kids. Frankly, regardless of what her therapist says about labeling as  \"high functioning or low functioning\" - that doesn't' change the fact that there's a huge difference in a child who may be non verbal, violent, or may be easily overwhelmed with stimulation and may act out versus a child who has developed coping mechanisms and can express - with time or alternate methods - what they think and feel. \n\nPeople are going to be quick to demonize you for being \"ableist\" because they're not thinking but feeling the situation here... Frankly - it boils down to liability and safety concerns. Like it or not people with autism do have special considerations. Add that to a large environment that may have heavy equipment, bodies of water, and animals who don't appreciate certain behaviors - it's a real risk.   \n\n\nNot to mention there will be other children there and it is going to be a mad house on top of that. \n\nI'm not sure of exactly how that discussion went on with your sister, but honestly it wouldn't hurt to see what her daughter's circumstances and needs are - and invite your sister to come along with her daughter to help accommodate care.   \n\n\nIt could even be the change in routine will upset her too and having something \/ someone familiar will help her.   \n\n\nYour sister has likely faced other situations or circumstances that've made her feel excluded or given her weird looks. People are rather tough on people with autism and their care takers. It could even be your sister is having second thoughts about the situation and this is manifesting as an \"us versus them\" mentality. I'm not sure what her support situation is like, but she's likely finding out the maternal  experience she anticipated isn't the reality --- this situation is just reminding her of that too.   \n\n\nWork with her and try to pick her brain. Be really clear this isn't because you're not welcoming your adoptive niece, you're just worried about potential dangers. I'd list out some specific things you're worried about such as her getting bitten \/ etc. If she understands where you're coming from - she may be more willing to help make accommodations with you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I really like to crochet and knit, and it's best to have specific yarn scissors. Mine are really good and I love them, it's so satisfying to snip the yarn. Because they are made specifically for yarn, if you use them on other materials, like paper, cardboard, etc, it will damage and blunt them.\n\nMe and my two brothers (who actively ensure they know nothing of fibercrafts) were sat watching a film together. I like to crochet while watching TV as it keeps my hands occupied, while my brother prefers to fiddle with whatever's around. My bag crochet equipment was on the sofa next to us, and he took my scissors out to fiddle with. I told him not to because they are very sharp and he could hurt someone or damage them. He gave them back and I put them in the bag.\n\nLater on, I needed the loo so left the room. When I came back, he had taken the scissors out of the bag, and was cutting up a piece of cardboard (a tetley's tea box, if anyone's interested). I was really annoyed and told him to stop and give me my scissors. Even after me explaining that yarn scissors are not for cardboard or paper, he is adamant that he didn't do anything wrong. I think he's in the wrong because they're my scissors, I specifically asked him not to use them, the cardboard did not need cutting up, and him doing so damaged my property! Both my brothers think I'm overreacting and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is now winding me up by saying that he will use my scissors to cut some cardboard again. I just want him to apologise and not do it again! ######","completion":" NTA !!I have fabric scissors at home and at work! People don’t realise these scissors are more sharp than ordinary ones and if you use them on things like paper or card you’re dulling them down to the point they won’t cut fabric properly! And while cutting fabric for pattern pieces blunt scissors can catch, pull and ruin said fabric if they aren’t sharp enough! \n\nPlus they are usually more expensive than ordinary ones too. \nHowever if it was just one off I’m sure they will be fine but I wouldn’t leave them unattended in the future if your stuff is out. ######"}
{"prompt":"A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over.  I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents.  They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing.  But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores).  Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it.  As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine.  I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.  \n\nMy sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it.  I get called a \"stoner\" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.  \n\nAt dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like \"I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh?  You drug addicted loser\".  I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs.  (this is where I might be TA) I said \"Oh yeah?  At least I didn't do this\"  and then did the hand motions for snorting coke.  Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it.  She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.  \n\nApparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her.  She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA , your sister is being hypocritical. She’s teasing you for “doing drugs” when the pen wasn’t in your possession (and it seems like you didn’t use it either) while she’s out here ACTUALLY doing drugs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (16f) have to take meds twice a day. I have “trained” my cat to remind me to take them by giving her a treat at the time I take my meds, and now she’ll start begging me for a treat at the time I take my meds, and it reminds me. My cat is not quiet when she reminds me. She’s rather loud, but not as loud as my sister’s dog, who barks into all hours of the night.\n\nMy sister (18f) keeps complaining that my cat keeps waking her up in the mornings with how loud she is. She keeps telling me to “shut the dumb cat up” and tells me that she’ll lock the cat outside next time she wakes her up. I told her she wasn’t going to do that, because the cat’s mine, first off, and second off, nobody complained about her dog. She got offended and tried starting a fight, while I just went straight to my parents.\n\nI told them that my sister was trying to put the cat out, and complaining about the noise of my cat while her dog is loud as hell and nobody says anything. My parents (dad specifically) got mad and had a talk with my sister, which was more of an argument. They told her that no, she would not be putting my cat out, and that if she did, she could go ahead and find another place to live.\n\nMy sister came to me and got mad at me for going to our parents, and called me a snitch. She also told me that I should just take my meds at a different time so the cat will shut up, and I told her that I couldn’t.I told her I wasn’t going to shut my cat up for her convenience. She called me an inconsiderate brat and stopped talking to me. She keeps trying to lock my cat in a closet, though.\n\nAITA for telling my sister I won’t shut up my cat? ######","completion":" NTA , thats a super smart thing to teach your cat lol, im gonna try that ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend is a vegan and has been for a while. Recently though she got a cat and is forcing her vegan diet on her cat. I tried telling her cats are carnivores and need meat in their diet. She said oh she will be fine being a vegan is. Better for your health anyways. I kept telling her that cats are not omnivores but she kept saying it was fine. Finally I snapped after seeing her cat getting weaker and weaker and said you're abusing your cat and I will take her from you if you dont start taking care of her properly. \nAITA for saying I'd take her cat away ######","completion":" NTA -the cat will definitely die with that diet. You can already see the cat getting weaker. Update us to let us know what happens and if you get the cat ######"}
{"prompt":"Title makes it sound a little worse than it is, also I’m on mobile so forgive any errors. \n\nSo basically the story is that I found a cute floor-length skirt at goodwill on one of their half off days, it’s was way too big for me and a little damaged but I know how to sew so I bought it anyways as I loved the colors. \n\nSo after adding some pleats and removing some elastic that had gone bad from the waistband I wore it out with some friends. One of these friends (I’ll call her G for this story) complemented the skirt and asked where I got it and I explained and showed her the work I’d done to fix it up as I was proud of how it looked. \n\nShe got mad at me for this though and went on a whole rant about how I’m an awful person for stealing resources from goodwill that plus-sized people needed. And how “skinnies” like me were the reason plus sized people were stuck wearing “unattractive” clothes and that I shouldn’t take affordable plus sided clothing away from people who actually need it. \n\nI hadn’t though if that when buying the skirt and now I feel extremely guilty about it and can’t bring myself to wear it out again. AITA for buying an oversized skirt I don’t need and resizing it? ######","completion":" NTA -Good for you for upcycling something and ensuring it has a life not in the landfill. Your friend needs some counseling as she clearly has some issues to work through ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm about to be 18, and I recently got busted and scolded by my mom for smoking and holding onto weed. I've moderately smoked joints maybe every few weeks since last May, I didn't let it affect my summer work and school performance. This was the first time I got busted, so I told her it was the first time I tried it to soften the situation, and it sorta worked.\n\nMy brother's been smoking weed with his cousins and friends since he was like 13, and now he's 29 with a girlfriend and three kids and still smokes just about every day. He can't even hold one damn job and makes his income off selling fresh-caught fish, EBT, and fighting chickens, no shit. Every time I see that guy he's got his bong on him or a ounce bag of buds. My mom's known about him smoking since he was 16, but now she doesn't really care.\n\nAnyway, my mom told him about this, and when I saw him a few days later he was kind of miffed and started telling me no more smoking and asking me who I'm hanging with and all that. I told him that he was being a hypocrite here and that at least I can keep my use moderate, something he's never gotten down.\n\nThen he just told me to get out of there, and so I just left, fuck it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA -but that said, your mom is the larger hypocrite here. Your brother seems concerned about change in your habits (though still a bit of hypocrite), he didn’t sound judgemental, just concerned ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a \"sleep till the last possible minute\" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.\n\nMy husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi\/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running. \n\nSometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.\n\nToday he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said \"you're late\" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future. \n\nThis is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######","completion":" NTA -\n\nThat is an adult responsible for his own actions. There are so many easy solutions, like go to bed earlier, get a different alarm, shower in a less cozy (ie colder) way, a puzzle alarm, etc.\n\nIt’s not your responsibility ######"}
{"prompt":"I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6\/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.\n\nI dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.\n\nI’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.\n\nI always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.\n\nWhen I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”\n\nI put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.\n\nNow he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.\n\nHe says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA -\n\nAt the end of the day it's your choice what to wear.  You can ask for his opinion and consider it, but ultimately it's your call.  Make some time to sit down and discuss the issue with him.  Communication is always the best solution to these kinds of problems.\n\nGood luck!\n\nEDIT:\n\nAfter reading some of the comments from u\/ThrowRa19282821 I have come to the conclusion that:\n\nESH - you BOTH should be able to wear what makes your comfortable within reason.  Don't be a hypocrite OP. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.\n\nI don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even. \n\nHowever, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######","completion":" NTA -\n\n>he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it.\n\nThat's a ridiculous accusation is obviously not the case. If you're both taking the same medication and the same dosage, there's no \"shuffling\" required and nothing you would gain from stealing your daughter's medication.\n\nI'm not sure what your history with her dad is, but this sounds like something that he's latching on to as some kind of \"gotcha\" that doesn't make any sense. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my high school announced today how we are doing graduation this year with the virus, and the solution sucks. The solution is that over the course of a week all the graduating students will walk across the gym, grab their diploma from a table, and take a photo in their cap &amp; gown. Each student will be the only one in the gym at a time, along with 4 family members, the photographer, and the principal. Students are spaced out in 10 minute intervals. \n\nGraduation was originally going to be on my birthday so I was thinking that I do a birthday\/graduation celebration then with just my family. Some of my friends have told me I'm wasting an opportunity to experience something \"once in a lifetime\" while other friends are telling me that I'm in the right to skip it because it's a terrible solution. \n\nSo, would I be the asshole for skipping this or no? ######","completion":" NTA -- you might regret it later though.  It really sucks that you've lost all the traditional end of high school things, you're allowed to feel about it however you want. ######"}
{"prompt":"His drinking seriously negatively affected our relationship in ways I can't explain without violating the rules here, but it got to a point where I no longer felt safe around him. I never want to see him again and I don't want to help \"clear \\[his\\] conscience\", which is what he wrote in the message asking if we could meet to talk. He says it *has* to be in person so he can look me in the eyes when he says it and it  *has* to be alone as in a public place but without anyone with me, so because me bringing someone would be \"embarrassing\" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was \"rubbing it in \\[his\\] face\" that I've found someone new.\n\nMy boyfriend says I shouldn't go, he doesn't trust it, and I'm inclined to agree, but several friends I still have from the time we were together have already met him and say he's a new man, and don't understand why I don't want to meet him, saying I'm being selfish and holding a grudge and I should let him apologise after nearly 3 years of self reflection on his end so we can both get closure and move forward.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA -- Trust your gut and your boyfriend. You owe your ex nothing, and his peace of mind is not your burden to carry. He hurt you a lot in the past and you have every right to not want to see him again. I'd be careful,\n\n>so because me bringing someone would be \"embarrassing\" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was \"rubbing it in [his] face\" that I've found someone new.\n\n☝️ That's a big red flag to me. If he actually felt remorse he'd allow your boyfriend to come, as he would understand and should not expect you to be comfortable in his presence.\n\nAnd if those friends open their mouths again to try and guilt trip you, tell them to stay out of your business.\n\n\nGood luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car\/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him. \n\ntl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######","completion":" NTA -- Tell him that you didn't know he was going to charge you rent, and that you're going to go live with your friend. Then he can do all the housework and take care of your siblings. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion. \n\nHe is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.\n\nThe risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA -- she can't get mad when she doesn't let her dog with cancer IN THE HOUSE!!!! WTF??! ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nI’ve told my(16M) sister(14F) several times to stop touching my stuff, yet she still does it. I’ve told my parents, yet they do nothing\n \nToday I finally got to play my switch after a couple weeks. I had to study for school and a couple tests \n \nIt turns out that my sister has been using my game for weeks. She’s spent over a hundred and fifty hours playing it.\n \nI got really pissed. She was once again using my stuff. So, I just deleted it. When I told her, she got super mad. She said I was being unfair.\n \nI just told her that I did nothing wrong. All I did was use my game on my console. Nothing wrong there, is there? Then, my sister proceeds to tell my parents. I somehow got in trouble.\n \nI feel like my parents are definitely being somewhat sexist or ageist. I’ve complained to them many times, and they do absolutely nothing, but when I handle it myself, they get mad.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your stuff, your decisions. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right. So I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. My sister recently broke her leg and she’s continuously complained about how much crutches hurt. My dad’s solution to this was to tell my sister she can use my wheelchair. I’m not comfortable with this. My dads reasoning is that I just got out of the hospital and am mostly on bed rest (not completely, I’m just supposed to take things easy for a bit) so I ‘don’t really need it anyways’ but I kinda do need it whenever I have to get out of bed. My sister is perfectly capable of using crutches and honestly I think it’s kinda shitty that my dad is letting her use my chair even when I’m not using it. My dad keeps just saying that I’m not using my chair much anyways and so it doesn’t do any harm, but my sister keeps taking my chair and leaving it by her bed so I can’t get it, then screaming at me whenever I ask for it when I need to get up. My dad has also brought up the fact that he paid for the chair and rescued me (I’m adopted) so he gets to choose what to do with it. Honestly idk if I’m in the wrong for not sharing, but at the same time I think it’s kinda bs to be expected to share a piece of necessary medical equipment ######","completion":" NTA - your situation is permanent and you need the chair for mobility. Your sister's situation is temporary and given the state of the world, she's probably not really going a lot of places that aren't home. \n\nIt does not reflect well that your father is lording your adoption over you as though you owe something for being a part of the family. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I have been in a tense argument. She has constantly been asking my parents for money and support and my parents have been helping her. But my parents don't have much money and their retirement accounts are already down a lot of money. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy sister has constantly dated shitty guys. Guys that weren't employed, guys that sold weed, no guys that ever had a steady employment. Lots of guys with anger issues, it was her type she liked bad boys\/thugs etc whatever word you want to use.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nShe has now 2 children from two different marriages. She gets a lot of support from government programs but she still falls short time to time. I have seen her constantly come to my parents for money. I talked to my parents and told them that they can't keep enabling her.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nMy sister confronted me called me a POS that I have no idea how difficult life is for her, that she can barely make ends meet and that her job already cut her hours. I told her that lots of this situation is her fault. That she can be unlucky with one two, or even three guys she dated but all of the guys she dated have been scumbags and she needs to look to herself. She then tells me that I should be mad at the guys who abandoned their children not the hard working mom looking after them. I told her that its on her to be responsible for her own life and not have chosen these guys in the first place. ######","completion":" NTA - Your sisters poor choices are the reason why she is in her current situation. Lack of contraception and poor choice in men has most likely led to her situation being where it's at now. You are not the asshole for telling her it's her responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.\n\nAm I the asshole for being angry at my sister?\n\nI apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ######","completion":" NTA - your sister knows you have left an abusive situation and her blabbing could cause safety issues for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"A year ago, my grandfather passed away. He was the family patriarch and it was hard on all of us, but especially myself and my sister who he pretty much raised after our father passed.\n\nAt the funeral, I was most focused on my mom, my sister and making sure everything went as planned. I guess my sister noticed what people wore. A lot of people showed up and a few did show up in jeans. Others wore sneakers. My grandfather would not have cared. He went to church every Sunday and dressed up for grandma, but then changed as soon as we left service. Is it appropriate funeral attire? No. But it wasn’t like they wore bright colors or disrupted the service in my opinion. To my sister, it did and she feels it was the epitome of disrespect to not wear slacks and dress shoes. Everyone who went probably had nice clothes in their closet, but maybe didn’t want to wear them. Maybe they thought they were paying homage to Grandpa. I don’t know. Some are family members, some family friends.\n\nBut a year later and my sister is still pissed. She won’t talk to these family members and when before lockdown, we had my daughter’s communion. She refused to talk to these people. Recently, she went on a rant about it again. I told her she needed to get over it. She told me I was as insensitive as them and hung up. I wore a dress and stockings!\n\nAm I being an ass by thinking she needs to let it go and that it’s no big deal? ######","completion":" NTA - Your sister is putting way too much stock in what people wear. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time posting here so forgive any improper etiquette. About a week ago my sister and her 8 year old son came over for lunch. I have a very good relationship with her and my nephew, so they come over here quite often. Lately He's been getting into Star Wars, which I think is great because I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Throughout the past few weeks I've made sure to keep him interested, and usually have a Star Wars themed gift for him when they come over. For this particular visit, I had bought him a Star Wars Lego set. Not a particularly big one, but nonetheless with Lego's prices it was still $50. Anyway, my sister and I are talking at the table while he's building the Lego set in the living room. He runs back to the table incredibly excited and barely speaking coherently. By the time we stand up from the table he's already ran to my bedroom. (I usually keep the door closed but I guess I forgot) When we get there he's jumping up and down and pointing at my lightsaber that's hanging on the wall. Naturally he then proceeds to ask, \"Can I see it?\" Even I play with it sometimes so I can see how an eight year old couldn't resist. I tell him no and then go to steer him out of my bedroom when my sister asks \"Why can't he play with it?\" I try to explain to her that it's very expensive, at which point she asks how much. When I reluctantly tell her that it cost me $825 she looks appalled, but still insists that he would be careful and wouldn't break it. At this point she's rather upset and we get in an argument because \"I don't want to share my toys\". They both left shortly after that. We're not really fighting anymore, but she's still very much annoyed and thinks that I'm wrong to not let her son play with my lightsaber regardless of how much it costs. AITA?\n\n[This is the lightsaber in question](https:\/\/vadersvault.com\/the-revanchist\/) ######","completion":" NTA - your sister didn't have the right to force you to let your nephew play with it. Some things are off limits and mostly, kids are pretty good at understanding and appreciating that, so she should have backed you on it. Hopefully she realises and apologises!\n\nAlso: wicked cool light saber op ######"}
{"prompt":"I have been living with my roomate for 6 months and shes asian, I'm not. I have one spoon that I got from a Asian market (it's the Japanese style deep spoon for soup). I freaken LOVE soup and use that spoon all the time, I've had it for a good year now and I have just the one. My roomate has been using my spoon nonstop for herself and NEVER cleans it. I dont mind sharing but shes starting to use it more often now since we have been stuck inside, I've been making a lot of miso soup and she keeps taking the spoon. I brought it up a couple days ago that its my spoon and I should be able to have first choice to use it when I make soups. She got kinda mad about it and told me that I shouldn't even be using that spoon because I'm not asian ??? Like I didn't know that I had to be asian to use a certain type of silverware. I told her that I would be happy to buy her one so she could stop using mine and this made her more upset for some reason. The conversation went along the lines of \"it's my spoon, you never clean it , we have plenty of other spoons!\" I let her use my spoon that night but after whe went to bed, I washed it and put the spoon in my room. The next day she was looking for it and asked me where it was and I told her I put it away so she cant use it anymore. She called me a asshole and hasn't talked to me since. So AITA? \n\nTLDR: My roomate kept using my soup spoon and would hardly let me use it and never cleaned it so I hid it in my room, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - your roommate needs to respect your belongings and she isn’t. You get to decide where to keep your personal effects and you do not owe her any explanation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 13 and live in a family of dedicated christians. I don't believe in any religion, but I still am forced to go to church, fast, pay tithing, and go to a christian school. My parents say that if I don't believe in christ , I can't live with them. I once asked to skip church, and my parents grounded me for a week. I've actually started to hate this religion, because my parents are forcing it onto me. Who is in the wrong here? ######","completion":" NTA - Your parents suck. Threatening to kick you out is cruel. Grounding you for not going to church with them is pointless. Now, it’s one thing to support going to church as a family, that was always a rule growing up for me. But to actively punish is counterproductive. \n\nIf they move beyond what they’re currently doing, like, withholding food or actually kicking you out or beating you - you should contact CPS\/the authorities\/an adult you trust. \n\nSource: Religious Lutheran ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is: \n\nMy youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired. \n\nThe issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no. \n\nNow, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can \"be together for graduation\". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######","completion":" NTA - your mum is just obeying the law and she also is the owner of the van so can do whatever she wants with it.\n\nDid the friend even offer to completely sanitise the van at her own cost after using it? ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 15 and thus still live with my parents.\n\nI have various mental health problems (DID, psychotic hallucinations, depression, etc.) that my mom connects (for some reason) to my phone. Around 2 months ago, was grounded and not allowed to use my phone for a month. During this time, I was numb. I wasn't feeling any emotion- good or bad. My mom just focused on how I wasn't feeling bad and kept giving me these talks: \"Oh, you're so much happier without your phone! Oh, you're not switching without your phone! Oh, you're not hallucinating without your phone!\"\n\nI was. I still am. In fact, being without my phone made my hallucinations worse. It made the inner world (where the parts are when they aren't fronting) worse. I just didn't tell her, because I was numb.\n\nWhen I got my phone back, I was happier and I started opening up again. As soon as I started opening up about switching and hallucinating again, she pulled me aside and told me \"When you didn't have your phone, you weren't showing these symptoms. I'm not saying you're faking, I'm just saying I can't ignore the signs.\"\n\nSo I closed off again.\n\nWhenever I try to talk to her about anything, it turns into a lecture and I get a consequence. She was asking me if I wanted to watch Saving Private Ryan and I said I shouldn't due to the nightmare I had the night before. She took my phone away immediately.\n\nSo I closed off again.\n\nAITA for not telling her anything anymore? ######","completion":" NTA - Your mum clearly doesn't understand what triggers your mental health and finds it easier to blame on your phone which sucks. Is there anyone else you can talk to? ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year me (34m) and my wife (31f) visited her family in South Africa, as we live in the UK but try and her family visit annually. This time I took hundreds of photos with my new camera as where her family lives is beautiful, but i only had one micro sd card with me as my old camera took the bigger sd cards. So after a few days i needed another micro sd card, her mother give me a handful of micro sd cards that have been rattling in her kitchen draw for ages. \n\nThis years trip to see her family is cancelled due to Covid Virus, i thought it would be nice to go through all the photos from last years visit and put her family ones on are digital photo frame. One sd cards her mother had give me was full (24GB) of nude\/sexual photos of my wife's mother with a few different men. \n\nI wasn't sure what to do, i didn't tell my wife as i didn't think she would want to know\/see her mother is that way. I messaged her mother to ask her if i should wipe the SD card or send it back to her. Her mother wanted the SD card back so popped it in the mail back to her mother.\n\nYesterday my wife found out from her mother's friend (how or why i don't know)and went nuts with me. My wife says i should have told her or just deleted them and said nothing. My defense is what if the photos although they were sexual met a lot to her mother or what if her mother was worried the photos might fall into the wrong hands. \n\nAITA for not deleting the mother inlaw's nudes and not telling my wife i sent them back to her mother ? ######","completion":" NTA - Your mother-in-law is entitled to her privacy and her sexual life without her children's interference. ######"}
{"prompt":"You've probably seen these books.  But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.\n\nWhen I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book.  Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc.  And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.  \n\nSometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a \"secret compartment book\" and decided to use that \"Care and Keeping of Husbands\" book as a guinea pig.  It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school.  Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.  \n\nWe don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.\n\nWhich would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book:  I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.  \n\nBut it does boil down to this: AITA for \"ruining\" my mom's birthday present to me? ######","completion":" NTA - Your mother is for trying to force her view of the world and gender norms onto you, not to mention the breach of privacy by going through your backpack. I applaud you for having found a creative use for such a useless present, even if it didn't work out. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were on a zoom conference with the educational board because they’re trying to make major budget cuts to the music programs when cutting the music budget would only exacerbate the issue. We were both using our own computers.\n\nA parent was being ignorant by saying that the zero period was unappreciated and should be removed because it hurts students. I am a cult follower of the zero period because it enables me to do all of the electives that I want to do without cutting a language. My mom knows this and wanted me to reply to the ignorant parents comment. \n\nMy mom started dictating the message to me and it physically made me cringe. It compared the music program to a “rich, flavorful, nutritious meal” and it compared other departments to “greasy fast food”. I didn’t want that message to come from my computer because I didn’t want that on the internet under my name for 200 of my piers to see. \n\nI told her no. \n\nShe yelled for a bit about how I was infringing on her speech. I asked her why she couldn’t write the comment from her computer and she said she needed the comment to be from a student in order for it to be more powerful. \n\nAfter maybe an hour of silence, she wanted to talk again. Her opinion was that I was infringing on her sovereignty by telling her no, and my opinion is that she infringed on my sovereignty by attempting to tell me what I should say.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your mom needs to slow her role kno this instance. You are in no way infringing on her right to speak, and it is a manipulation tactic she's attempting to use on you. Furthermore, her way of approaching this is dishonest as she isn't writing it herself. \n\nStand your ground. I think it's admirable that your standing up to your mom. Use your voice and advocate for yourself. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (19m) ordered a gift for my mom online a couple days ago. Knowing she loves this brand Rituals (a shower gel and beauty kind of thing), i got her a gift box with multiple items in it. Now the website i ordered this on had this gift box listed under \"mother's day gift ideas\". Without any second thoughts i ordered it thinking she would love it.\n\nNow this gift box arrived the day before mother's day and when it got here i noticed that it looked quite masculine, it had shaving cream in it and the name of the scent was something with a samurai or something. I looked it up and it was actually for men. I felt stupid because it was too late to return it. \n\nI decided to just give it to my mom and explain the situation, i told her she could smell the soaps (without actually taking any soap out of the container) to see if she liked the scents regardless and if not i could return it and she could pick another set. She then opened the soap container, at this point i couldn't return it, and then she posted a picture of it on Facebook making fun of me. She commented \"the point of having three kids is that if one of them gets you a bad mother's day gift, the other two can still fix it\". Obviously this made me feel upset because I didn't know when I ordered it and i was the only one of her kids to buy her a gift. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your mom is, forgive me for saying, a cow. You explained the situation and if she had waited you would have got the correct gift. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents wanted me to become a doctor since I was a kid. Even though I had always made it very obvious that I'm not interested at all in studying medicine. I want to study business administration.\n\nI finished high school this year, and have to choose between what career path to choose. My parents died in a car accident over a month ago, and now my family is pressuring me to fulfill their wish.\n\nI've been told that I'm a narcissist, and that I'm self-centered, egoistic and insensitive for not considering their wishes for my future since their death. \n\nAITA for still wanting to pursue the career path that I chose for myself? ######","completion":" NTA - Your life is yours to follow. No one, absolutely no one, not even your parents, have the right to tell you what career you should follow. Hold firm OP, emotions are high right now but you can't cave. \n\nPeople will just have to accept it, and if they don't - fuck em. \n\nSorry for your loss. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of info - My children see my mother in law a handful of times a year. She lives in a village an hour or 2 bus ride away depending which on route you take. She doesnt come to ours even though she has a lodger who drives her other places and tbh shes a little flaky when we make plans so we just go to hers when we are able to.\n\nI call and facetime her atleast once a week so the kids can keep a good relationship with her but as you can probably tell already it's very much one sided but I do it because my kids have a great relationship with my side and I want the same with them and her.\n\nThe issue - mother in law called yesterday and asked if we had plans to go round when lockdown is over as she has something for the kids. I told her as soon as we can we will be over when its allowed. She asked to speak to the kids and told them the surprise. She had gotten a dog!\n\n2\/3 were excited the middle one just burst into tears.  The middle one is severely allergic to animals with fur. I'm talking 2\/3 x meds a day, and has to carry an epi pen where ever she goes allergic.\n\nMother in law knows this and just shrugs and says oh well I guess the other 2 will just have to come and she stays at home.\n\nI told my husband that I'm sorry but none of the children will be going as it's not fair on middle, they will be be bringing fur into the house when they return and that I think his mother did it on purpose as the other 2 always says about how they would love a dog but cant because of middle  whenever she asks why we dont have a dog like other families.\n\nHusband thinks ITA because I'm stopping her seeing all kids over one thing but to me it's a big thing as it's dangerous to middle and she knew that.\n\nSo WIBTA if I stopped visits? ######","completion":" NTA - your husband is shrugging his shoulders that your mother in law bought something (a dog!!! No less) that could kill his middle child?\n\nYeah, no. No visits for MIL and I’m seriously side eyeing your husband like 😒😒😒 ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1\/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit). \n\nDue to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair?? \n\nI am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said \"I'll do something about it.\" Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.\n\nIt's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######","completion":" Nta - your hair, simple ######"}
{"prompt":"For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22\n\nIt’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”\n\nHe absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway” \n\nHe is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.\n\nWell, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.  \n\nI’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone. \n\nWell, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt” \n\nI try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.\n\nHis friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.\n\nA couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.\n\nNow he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.\n\nWas it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######","completion":" NTA - your guy has anger issues and he's over here throwing tantrums like a 5 year old because he didn't win a game. Don't give him any attention when he's like this. Don't try to calm him down. He needs to get some therapy and\/or grow the fuck up. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancée and I got engaged last month after dating for 3 years. She’s really great. She’s Japanese but was born in America.\n\nToday she called me into the living room while I was just fucking around with the cat and showed me a text she got from a friend of mine, it was long but essentially said that I have a fetish for Asian women. She got this because my last three girlfriends(including my fiancee) have been Asian. But that’s not because I have a fetish, it’s because I live in a high percentage Asian area and a bit of luck. I’ve dated a lot of white girls and various other ethnicities as well.\n\nMy fiancée asked if it was true and I explained, and fortunately she was really cool about it and said that even if I did have a thing for Asian women she didn’t really care at this point since I’ve never done anything weird.\n\nBut I was really pissed off with my friend so later I called her and yelled at her that she shouldn’t be telling my fiancée lies like that behind my back, and if she thinks there’s a problem she can talk to me about it. She got defensive and said that she has an obligation to try and help women she knows from making possible mistakes, and she didn’t want my fiancée “trapped” in a relationship where I fetishized her. Keep in mind she’s never mentioned anything about it in the past 3 years we dated.\n\nI asked why she’s even friends with me if she thought I would trap my fiancée in a relationship like that, and she said that she didn’t know for certain but thought she should mention it anyway. She then said that she didn’t do anything wrong and that my being angry is only proving her point. She said to call her back when I’m not being “irrational”.\n\nI’m just fuming right now. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your friend sounds like a nosy, uptight weirdo. She may also have a thing for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"This has been bothering me for a while now,\n\nBut in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife. \n\nAnd another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.\n\nHe is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.\n\nMost people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.\n\nSo I’m not sure ######","completion":" NTA - your friend seems pretty vulnerable. Good thing you saved him from this one. ######"}
{"prompt":"A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as \"very smart\" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.\n\nSo when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16. \n\nWhen I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with \"high functioning autism\" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact. \n\nThey said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are \"dumb and drooling everywhere\" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).\n\nMy mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.\n\nI'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.\n\nAITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######","completion":" NTA - Your family seems pushy and emotionally abusive, especially by using a legitimate medical diagnosis as a means of guilt-tripping and accusing you. You do not need any such people in your life regardless of whether they are family or not. If you believe that cutting ties with your family will maintain your mental health and stability, please don't hesitate to do so. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.\n\nWell that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ######","completion":" NTA - Your daughter needs to realize she married a jackass.  Josh intentionally antagonized his father in-law and disrespected him under his own roof.  This man is\/was a guest in your home and instead of being grateful, he behaved like an idiot child.  I honestly don't blame your husband for kicking him out.  Don't let your daughter manipulate you into feeling bad about it.  She sounds very immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my daughter (20MTF) declared she was going to start her hormones injections and then was planning to get all types of available surgeries (Facial Feminization, Gender Reassignment Surgery, Facial Feminization Surgery) soon after that, \n\nand is asking me to pay for it and she doesn’t want the average doctor to perform it but only the best, so with what she has in mind it totals up to around 190k-200k$ , I refused because although it won’t crush me absolutely but it will definitely hinder me for many years and prevent my travel plans\n\nAnd I really want her to save up if she wants them so bad, but she called me a transphobic who doesn’t understand what she’s going through.\n\nI’m kinda confused but quite firm on my decision not to pay ######","completion":" NTA - your daughter is an adult. I understand her wanting you to help, but to assume you’ll front the entire cost is unreasonable. Plus, calling you transphobic because you’re not paying is really shitty IMO ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband and I have four kids. The one in question is our 16 year old daughter. I'd like to think my husband and I are quite progressive parents so we let her live her own life. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and they've been going at it for 8 months (I think). He's okay but crosses too many boundaries. \n\nAgainst our requests he has a tendency of coming to the house unannounced, 'losing track of time' and asking us to give him a ride home at at 11 pm. When we talk to him about this he mutters something under his breath and goes off. When he was staying with us shortly before the whole 'rona mess, he was way too touchy with our daughter in our presence. This went from spanking her whenever she was bending over\/leaning on something and openly snogging each other. We also suspect he stole my husband's cologne but that's just a suspicion. \n\nYesterday my husband and I were doing heavy cleaning around the house (it's been months) and I found a stain on one of the sides of a cushion. I thought it was nothing at first but my husband confirmed it was a cum stain. After a some investigating we crossed out everyone but my daughter. When we spoke to her she admitted that they had sex on the couch. The couch in the living room that all of us use. So we told her straight that he's not allowed in the house again.\n\nShe says we're overreacting but we're done. Are we the assholes in this case? ######","completion":" NTA - Your daughter and boyfriend (especially him) were openly disrespectful to you. On multiple times. And having sex on common furniture??? And LEAVING THAT MESS??? So. Bad.\n\nMy only issue is at least if they’re in your house you can keep an eye on them. Banning him altogether may cause problems in your relationship with her.\n\nThis boyfriend sounds like a piece of work and most likely won’t be your daughters forever partner (hopefully) but I’d try to explain to her everything that’s happened and offer an apology deal or something to allow him to come back if he changes. Not for him but for your daughter ######"}
{"prompt":"sorry for any run on sentences and grammatical errors.  english isn't my first language and I'm doing this via mobile phone. \n\nso my son is 16 months old (1year and 4 months) and he had immunodeficiency.  he can't get any vaccines due to this an we are constantly in and out of the hospital due to how easily he gets very very sick. \n\nI am on a family group and my aunt posted a picture of \"how to decline a vaccine legally\" and a link to how Bill Gates is going to microchip everyone with the vaccine. \n\nI tried to relay as much information I have gathered about how this isn't true and I begged them to please get the vaccine once it arrives.  \n\nnote: I did say if they didn't get the vaccine due to medical reasons it would be a different situation \n\nthey (my mother, grandmother and both aunts) then proceeded to tell me they won't get the vaccine as it is \"the mark of the devil\". \n\nthat's when I told them that if they don't get the vaccine they won't be able to visit my son as he has a sever immunodeficiency. \n\nthat's when my family blew up and called me names and told me I was a bad mother for even considering it. \n\nso AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your child, your rules. You have every right to protect him, and their ignorance is not worth the life of your son. ######"}
{"prompt":"So here’s the story:\n\nMy aunt called me today and told me she told her coworker that’s I’d be on my way to assist them in setting up their work from home station. \n\nI told my aunt no, that’s not what’s happening because I’m not doing that. That if she needed help, then my aunt could go and help her. \n\nSee, my aunt and my family have this habit of not only requesting my help for bullshit but also trying to get me to do things I did not agree to do. Things none of us know how to do but they don’t want to TRY, they just want me to do it. \n\nMy mother and I got a new printer and my mother took it upon herself to try and set it up. When she couldn’t, she called for me to help and my first response was “Well... did u read the instructions?” To which she got mad. I took the instructions and told her like look, I don’t know how to do it either so the best I can do is read the instructions, which is the same thing u can do. So we just going to sit here and read em together.\n\nWhen my aunt got her work from home stuff, she wanted me to help her set it up even though I am also working from home. I told her I didn’t know how, and that she just plug the shit up and see how it turns out. For two days she did nothing until I came and literally just plugged shit into where it fit. \n\nNow I’m literally telling her to tell her coworker that’s all she has to do. She doesn’t want to help her. Her coworker doesn’t want to use common sense.\n\nAnd now I’m being look at as the bad guy all because I don’t want people to volunteer my time for shit not even I know how to do. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Your aunt \"volunteering\" you to visit someone else's home is incredibly irresponsible right now.\n\nBesides, their company should be providing them with tech support, not relying on random strangers. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI know how the title sounds!\n\nI’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.\n\n3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.\n\nI gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.\n\nTwo years  ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.\n\nI’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.\n\nMy husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.\n\nMy husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that) \n\nSince getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.\n\nI’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.\n\nMy husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going  university and working) \n\nAt this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you’ve given her plenty of notice to sort it all out. She clearly takes advantage of you and your husband. And im sorry, but if she has been there for two years, that is ample time to “get her life back on track”. You have enough on your plate as it is. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last year I worked with someone (as equal peers) in an internship while finishing my masters degree and we became friends. I have been a manager for the past 5 years, we work for the same company but in different departments, and we have continued to speak with each other often and share school work. Today she reached out to me on my personal Facebook account to ask me about one of my open positions knowing that I am the hiring manager. She asked me how much I was paying, and I let her know I could not disclose that information. She then let me know that she was going to apply followed by a wink emoji. Instead of brushing it off or leading her on, I messaged her to let her know that I would not hire her. I told her that “we are openly friends and it would be favoritism”. I have too much integrity to hire someone that is my personal friend. When I told her this, she became angry and accused me of discriminating against her... Being a manager is already garbage, and I feel like she put me in a really tough spot. Being my friend aside, she is not even qualified. I don’t believe in giving handouts, this is a reason why I don’t have many work friends, and this is a good example of why I usually don’t befriend work folks on my personal social medial accounts. Am I being the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - You’re stopping yourself from being biased about hiring, and that’s true integrity. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve been writing porn stories for about 2 years now. It’s not huge but I make $750-$1500 dollars a month from it, sometimes even more, which really helps supplement my income. It’s nothing super super hardcore though some of the kinks I guess could be considered “weird.”\n\nI was talking with my boyfriend of about a year and I just casually dropped this information. He got mad at me! But I didn’t think it was a big deal. He seemed to almost think it was a dealbreaker and that it’s super weird that I do this, that only really strange and messed up people write that sort of stuff. He’s not a prude, we’ve had sex, so it’s just all strange to me. AITA for not telling him about it straight off the bat\/earlier? ######","completion":" NTA - you’re not cheating, you’re writing. He shouldn’t be offended by what you write regardless if the topic is “weird” to him, everyone has their kinks and it’s not cool to kink-shame. ######"}
{"prompt":"Greetings everyone, I would like to begin by advising that this is my first post here so... bear with me please. With that being said, if I break any rules here please let me know, thank you :)\n\nWith *that* out of the way, here we go!\n\nI’ll keep it brief, my name is Jay, and I have a girlfriend who lives an hour away, we haven’t seen each other in a month so online contact is crucial.l, which that being said, I am a person who enjoys getting healthy hours of sleep, meanwhile, my girlfriend goes to sleep at 5:00AM and wakes up like at 3:00PM. And that is the only damn time she makes for me, at midnight and up. Which frustrates me because she makes almost no time for me and time for me. She proceeds to guilt me into not making time for her at night. I’d 100% prefer to sleep and wake up happy to have productive day then listen to my girlfriend ramble about her basic friends and scroll endlessly through Instagram. She doesn’t even care about how I am emotionally\/physically\/spiritually when we talk etc. AITA?!?\n\nNor does she appreciate me risking my sleeping hours to listen to her.\n\nOur situations:\n-She is rich and the only child in the house\n-I am struggling due to a legal situation from my dad and have 4 siblings who live with me\n\nNote: yes I’ve discussed this with her and told her every single detail mentioned here, she proceeds to tell me I’m boring or “boomer” (haha funnies), or simply doesn’t care.\n\nBy the way... thanks for reading this at least, it means a lot :) ######","completion":" NTA - you’re entitled to get some kip and a decent amount to stay healthy.\n\nOn a side note you may want to take a look at your relationship. You two seem too opposite and to have values that are clashing on stuff that’s sort of important, which may escalate in future. \n\nNot saying you need to split but just take a look at things ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a stay-at-home mom with four kids, ages 3-9. Husband has been working from home for the past few weeks. We didn’t have a home office set up before this. He could have chosen the guest room at the back of our house for his work space, as there’s a desk in there. But he said it was too small for him, so he set up in the dining room. He tried to block off an area with room dividers, but it’s not the same as having actual walls. Also, the dining room is (obviously) right next to the kitchen, but also next to our designated playroom for the kids. \n\nHis job is fairly flexible, but we try to stay out of his way while he’s working, especially when he has conference calls. I’ve taken the kids to the back room at times when he’s asked for quiet, or we’ve gone for walks. \n\nOn this particular day, his call was close to lunchtime and I was making food in the kitchen, while the kids were in the playroom, where I can see them from the kitchen. I did have to keep reminding them to keep their voices and playing quieter, but I actually thought they were doing a good job. \n\nWhen the call was over, husband came out of his “office” and said, “well, that was the worst meeting I’ve had. They couldn’t be quiet for one hour. That’s all I asked for: one hour.” I couldn’t even respond. I felt like it was all my fault and I was a terrible person for not taking the kids out of the house for that hour. This feeling was made worse by the fact that there was nowhere to escape in the moment. We’re all stuck at home together. \n\nI have friends who’ve made work-from-home spaces in garages so that they’re away from the noise of their kids. I understand that it’s stressful to change his work environment and that the kids are distracting, but my job has also changed a lot, with no school or activities or friend visits to distract the kids. \n\nSo, am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - You've been really accommodating so far, so it doesn't sound like he \"only asked\" for one hour of quiet. If it bothers him that much he could move to the smaller space for video calls. I also think a lot of people are irritable during this time ######"}
{"prompt":"##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.\n\n###### Long story short: \nI'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.\n\n###### The situation: \nPeople often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples: \n\n&gt; Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very \"Canadian\" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say \"ah I didn't expect that\" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).\n\nOr \n&gt; People who end up saying \"it's impressive you don't have an accent\" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).\n&amp;nbsp;\n\nOr \n&gt; Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the \"asian products' aisle.\n\nI am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world. \n\n###### AITA for not answering these types of comments? \nShould I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######","completion":" NTA - You're the person affected by these comments, so you get to decide how best to handle them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My Daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with \"Sir\" and \"Ma'am\" respectively. So, it's not like we disapprove..However, every month it's \"Hey mom it's our 1 month can I order us grubhub?\" \"Its our 2 month, 3 month\" ECT. You get the point. \nWe just moved into a bigger house, so naturally, bills are more. We haven't even received our first round of bills yet and we're apprehensive about blowing money. Everytime she orders it's at least 35 dollars!\nSo, here's the questionable statement I made. \"Guys, I love you both and you know we like having you around boyfriend, so don't take this the wrong way. Not every month is an anniversary and doesn't require spending 30-50 dollars. I know they feel special and that's great but Dad and I can't afford to blow money right now\" \nThere it is..I was met with dagger stares and my daughter exclaimed \"Wow mom, thanks for taking a dump on our happiness!\" Boyfriend just looked embarrassed and didn't say anything. He's usually the one trying to get her under control. My daughter has a hot head like her Father. Am I the asshole?? I don't feel like I should have to fork out money for food, rides to special locations and go out of my way everytime they make it another month. 14yo daughter btw.\n\nInfo: she's paid 200 a month, I had already prepared dinner with more than enough to go around and the questionable statement I made was after 5-6 \"but why??\" Statements. I shouldn't have down played their day, I was young once and had a first long boyfriend. There will definitely be some family budgeting and personal budgeting talks but I'm hoping this teen parenting thing gets more seamless in 10 years because her 4yo sister is next😂 ######","completion":" NTA - You're the parent and honestly paying for dates is something that a 14 year old doesn't really need when there are bills to be paid. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I am aware that just because you’re in a relationship that attraction to other people doesn’t just stop, and that’s fine!! I’m chill with my bf finding other people attractive and I’m not mad at that.\nHowever, I do suffer with super low self esteem and some other mental health problems which he is aware of and I’m also working on them.\n\nMy boyfriend comments on other women often. It’ll always be something sexual as well, which makes me super uncomfortable. It feels like it’s constantly happening like on dates, going shopping, grabbing a coffee, watching a film etc. It kinda wears me down but I also feel like I’m being stupid. I understand he finds them attractive and that’s okay but I have asked him to stop multiple times just because I can’t always brush it off as much as I’d like to and it does mess with my head a bit. He checks people out a lot as well and sometimes it feels as though I can’t have a conversation with him if an attractive girl is walking by because he’s so distracted. When I ask him to stop he always says its just who he is and he won’t stop making comments in front of me because he thinks it’s funny. I tried to ignore it because I figured I am being whiny and overreacting, but one day I was just in a bad mood and he made some dumb comment about some woman's boobs and I once again told him to please stop and that it was upsetting me, I think I probably got too snappy. He got mad at me and didn’t speak to me until I said sorry.\nI guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too insecure? Sometimes I don’t realise and just need to hear other people’s opinion. ######","completion":" NTA - You're right, people in relationships will still find other people attractive. However, people who are not AHs will not bring up this fact in front of their SO knowing full well that this damages the SO's self-esteem. He's also being disgusting and creepy making sexual comments about other women. He would be TA regardless of whether he was in a relationship or not. And making you apologize for getting upset? Yikes. ######"}
{"prompt":"So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.\n\nHe likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them\/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.\n\nThe reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.\n\nAITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######","completion":" NTA - you're paying to be there, he's squatting.\nYou should talk to them about it though. He should keep his stuff in her room, not in the common areas. ######"}
{"prompt":"I \\[30M\\] live with two roommates - Kate \\[32\\] and Sean \\[27\\].\n\nSean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \\[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme. \n\nHow obvious? He has the diagram of the \"company's model\" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for \"membership\" in his \"business\", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his \"business\". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were \"wrong about it\" and \"don't know anything\". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making \"business calls\", complained about not having money, etc.\n\nYesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a \"business call\" \\[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly \"Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?\". Without thinking, I replied \"Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes\".\n\nSean got furious, and started ranting about how he's \"disappointed\" with me not \"fact-checking\" \\[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\\], and for not \"supporting him\", and how he \"expected better\" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.\n\nI can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - You're just trying to make sure he's not being further taken advantage of, and if  he doesn't want to listen, it's just too bad for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened about a year ago:\n\nI'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.\n\nMy niece saw it and very innocently asked. \"Why is she naked?\"\n\n I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.\n\n*\"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top.\"*\n\nShe seemed amused by that.\n\nWell a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. \"did- did this artist draw these people naked too?\"\n\nI chuckle and say, \"yeah, probably.\"\nMy niece chuckles with me. \n\nAt that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *\"That's disgusting...\"* and walks away. \n\nI felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ######","completion":" NTA - You weren't sexualizing the human body in anyway, you were just telling your niece a simple fact about the art industry and artists. Personally I think it's good that by being so casual about the topic you're showing her that nothing about drawing people while nude is inherently wrong or weird. A lot of people could stand to learn this lesson. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.\n\nBecause of everything going on it took longer than  usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.\n\nSo I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.\n\nI do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ######","completion":" NTA - you were willing to step up and help if it was your child but since it’s not she’s not your responsibility\n\nHer parents kicking her out makes it sound like she’s young, which is some cases the parents circle back and calm down so maybe have her try reaching out to them? \n\nDon’t let it get to the 30 days tho, I know what it’s like living with someone you want out and anytime the law is on their side it makes it so impossible ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened maybe 10 min ago at the park, I own a shiba inu, if you know anything about the breed they are not like most dogs in a lot of aspects, I have owned several of them one who I got a little older who had some very bad aggression issues but after years of training and love became one of the best dogs I have ever owned. Also I have worked in humane societies and have a certificate through the AKC to train dogs ( not saying a am the dog whisperer or some crap). This lady walks up to me and asks what kind of dog I have and I tell her a shiba inu and she responds by telling me that is the type of dog her and her husband have been looking into getting and if could tell her anything about the breed? I explained good and bad aspects of the dog for a min or two and asked if she had ever owned dogs before which she replied no and I said I usually wouldn’t suggest someone getting this breed as a first time dog owner which at that point she became noticeably upset and snapped back with telling me that I am extremely rude for telling her she shouldn’t get a certain kind of dog when she doesn’t even know her and walked off.\nWhen I left I wondered if I was being to harsh or not? ######","completion":" NTA - you were just giving honest and useful advice. Maybe she can’t handle a difficult breed and it would be bad for her and the dog to be in that situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.\n \nI disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.\n \nI scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - You were holding him to his own standard that you disagreed with.  It tests consistency or points out flaws in an argument.\n\nYou didn't publicly shame him, but rather privately messaged him.  Clearly you're not saying that he should be held accountable, but are using an example to make a valid point.\n\nHe's just mad because he doesn't want to admit you made a good point and he doesn't want to bite the bullet and say that he SHOULD be held accountable. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a 16 and my sister also 16 has a girlfriend. My step mom changed my room even though my sister only came in the weekends to a double bed room and put most of my things away in the attic to make room for my sisters thing. She used the other room as a home office. \n\nMy sister was supposed to have a sleep over and got permission from her mom without talking to me. I was outside jogging and came inside only to find my sisters girlfriend sleeping in my bed. I was pissed and told the sisters girlfriend to get the fuck out of here or I  will make her. \n\nMy sister and her girlfriend refused. I called my dad and he came in and told my sister's girlfriend to get the fuck out or he will be calling her mom to pick her up. She got out of and took her stuff. My step sister was crying saying how she can never have a sleep over and blames me for it. She called me a selfish bich and told me I ruin everything ######","completion":" NTA - You wanted to sleep in your own bed and were just not thought about at all, sounds like your stepmom isn’t a great caregiver so sorry about that.\n\nNo idea why people are saying you’re an asshole, it was your bed and they didn’t offer you any sort of respect at all so by all means do what you can to claim it back. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F22) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for a year and a half now. We quarantined together and are now in the process of moving in together.\n\nThis week our city loosened up social distancing guidelines, so my boyfriend wanted to go play a game of pickup soccer with about five of his friends. They said they were all bringing their girlfriends so my bf asked me to come and I said sure.\n\nNow the thing is that I'm actually pretty good at soccer. My first boyfriend ever was actually in a very good European club's academy, and then I dated an MLS player for three years. Obviously they weren't just straight teaching me how to play, but I helped them practice and train and I picked up a lot from them. I also played high school soccer and then club soccer in college.\n\nWhen we got to the park my boyfriend said we should play boys against girls so we did.\n\nWe actually ended up tying. However my boyfriend played really really badly. At one point he took a penalty that I saved, I blocked several of his shots, intercepted many of his passes, tackled him a bunch of times and took the ball from him, and I even nutmegged him once.\n\nI want to clarify that I really wasn't trying to target my bf, I was just playing and everything happened. I didn't go easy on him but I didn't try to humiliate him either.\n\nIt was a fun game and I thought everything was fine until we got home. My bf went off on me about how humiliating the whole thing was for him, and how I had no right to play like that against him. He said I was clearly not considering his feelings, and he's been giving me the silent treatment since then. I think I was just playing a game. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you shouldn't have to make yourself less in order to make someone who is supposed to love you feel like more.  Your bf should be proud of how well you played.  \n\nIf your bf's masculinity is that fragile, then his issue is probably deeper than one game. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account. \n\nI own a business in a state where weed is not legal. Recently some new tenants moved into the apartments above my store and since they have moved in, most mornings when I come to work my store smells like pot. I have no problem with people who smoke pot, I've been around it many times at parties, and normally I don't care about it. I personally don't smoke but that's just my preference. The only reason I care is because I don't want my business to smell like pot. Air fresheners do not always cut it. \n\nI want to mention this to my landlord so that they stop. Here's the kicker - the apartments above my store are rented by the Department of Corrections (might be DOJ) and the people living there are either recently released from jail\/prison or on parole. I do not plan on reporting it to the police, just my landlord. What he does is up to him.\n\nWIBTA for reporting their pot smoking? ######","completion":" NTA - you run a business that could suffer if people walk in and the place smells like bud.  that sucks and is directly hurting you.  I think it'd be a dick move to tell the cops but i feel like you're well within rights to tell the landlord anyway and let them handle it. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.\n\nThe buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.\n\nI urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.\n\nBut now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######","completion":" NTA - you offered to take it back and he didn't respond to your offer despite knowing the part didn't fit. Also sounds a bit fishy to me and I am wondering if you might receive a damaged part back. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tonight I ordered in food from DD. \n\nMy building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box. \n\n\nAbout 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.\n\n\nGetting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.\n\n\nTypcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left. \nHonestly I do not know if it removes \nthe tip, which was not my intent. \n\n\nIt's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######","completion":" nta - you left instructions and obviously they could call you if they got confused. if they wasted time driving around, that's on them. and having someone else call to berate you? sounds like they were trying to intimidate you into giving them more money. you gave a decent tip already, that review was deserved. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a three legged dog, he has been missing his back right leg since I before I got him. \n\nMy sister and her boyfriend came to visit me at my apartment over the weekend for some drinks. I've met her boyfriend before but this is the first time he met my dog. As soon as he saw the dog he started calling him \"Gimpy\". Obviously my dog walks with a limp so I suppose that's the reason.\n\nMy sister and I kind of awkwardly laughed the first time he said it even though it wasn't really funny. I told him my dogs actual name, Milo, right away.\n\nThroughout the night he would NOT stop calling Milo, Gimpy. I asked him to stop after the third time but he just started calling him other things like \"Mr. Gimp\" or just \"Gimp\". I was just really really bothered by him calling my dog that and after maybe an hour of them being there I just snapped and said really firmly \"Stop calling him that, its not his name and I want you to stop\".\n\nSister's boyfriend just laughed it off and told me I'm overreacting and my sister told me to just drop it. They were both just saying the dog doesn't understand and its just a joke.\n\nI just found it super obnoxious and when it became clear he wasn't going to stop, I asked him to leave. I wasn't rude, I just told them I was tired and didn't want to deal with it so get out.\n\nThey left, both telling me I was overreacting. My sister called me the next day and asked me to apologize to her boyfriend. She told me I took it too far and embarrassed her by kicking them out. I guess she told my parents because my mom texted me today telling me just to apologize and keep the peace.\n\nI don't think I'm wrong and I don't think I should apologize. So I am asking for a third party view on the situation.\n\nAm I the asshole here?\n\ntldr: Kicked sister and her boyfriend out after he wouldn't stop calling my dog \"Gimpy\" ######","completion":" NTA - you just dont come to someones house and insult their pet. ######"}
{"prompt":"I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######","completion":" NTA - You have your own life to live and it's not your job to support your parents. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for telling my sister her bf sucks\nSo my sister (20) and I(24) are roommates and she started dating her bf (24) about a year ago. Sister and I have always been close and when she got a boyfriend I was excited to get to know him, but every time we met he was standoffish and would just go to my sisters room. I brushed it off as social awkwardness and didn’t press it. So in a year we’ve had a handful of conversations (again he doesn’t seem to want to get to know me and I didn’t mind). Recently I went on a 2 hour trip with sister, her bf and her bf’s friends. On the trip him and his friends started to saying extremely racist and homophobic things, which really upset me. After this continued on for a while I finally asked them to stop, which turned into a tangent on how I can’t handle the facts. My sister seemed equally irratated but it seemed she let it go by the next day, I however was still horrified. Anyways two days later we meet again I try being cordial and he just insults me, and my sister did not stand up to him so I told him he was being rude and he should leave. He leaves and my sister turns on me for being a “bitch” and being sensitive. I said he has a place why don’t you hang out there, because I don’t feel comfortable with him being around the way he’s been acting (not to mention he constantly has a g*n on him in our house). Next day he’s back and refuses to acknowledge me and I here them complaining about me in her room which obviously hurts my feelings. So after he leaves I confront her about him being so racist and homophobic and rude  and making me all around uncomfortable and she turns it into a screaming match, essentially saying what do I want her to do. Anyways I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut regarding the situation as it seems to have made things worse and I don’t want to fight with my sister but i don’t want to see her end up with someone who is obviously a bad dude. ######","completion":" NTA - you have your concerns and you told her about them, and it's clear she's complicit in him and his friends' behaviors. There was going to be a clash eventually. If she's screaming at you to tell her what to do, then clearly she doesn't want to break up with and doesn't see the racism and homophobia as dealbreakers. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(19F) got a summer job at a caffè that is a part of an insurance and car company. My customers are basically the employees and their customers. All the employees get free drinks and they can treat whoever they want and so can I so yesterday my friend(17F) came by for a cup of coffee. She was sitting at the bar and chatting with me for almost 2 hours and when she left two male coworkers, let's call them Ben and Carl, sat down for a drink and started talking to me.\nBen(36M): Hey Carl, did you see that hot friend of hers that came by?\nCarl(40+M): Yeah of course. She's pretty hot. Hey, OP, she's 20, right?\nMe: No, Jesus Christ she is younger than me, she's still a minor.\nBen: Damn she has curves for someone her age.\nI was disgusted beyond belief. Their conversation continued although they knew she is a minor.. \nI said to them that they are disgusting pigs because she could be their daughter(ironically, they both have young children). As my 2 female coworkers were sitting at the bar today, Carl also sat down for a drink but he sat down on my seat(that's the only place where I as a waitress can sit).\nMe: Sorry but you're in my seat.\nCarl: Oh, so you want me to get up?\nMe: It's okay, you can stay if u want.\nCarl: You know, when I was your age I would rather never sit down than disrespect someone older than me like you just have.\nCoworker: Kids today are sadly nothing like we used to be. \nI didn't say anything to them but God was I pissed off. You disrespect my MINOR friend, talk about her curves even though she is young enough to be your daughter and after all that you want to be treated with respect?? I don't think I'm the asshole here but apparently my female coworker thinks so. So, redditors, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you have to be respectful to earn respect. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I were paying the ALL utilities\/food and giving my mom $300 towards the mortgage, and she was covering the rest. Summer 2018, we get evicted from our longtime home as she wasn't paying the mortgage. I took out two private school loans to get us a place to live during my last year of college. Basically I took out money for what would be room and board for Jr and Sr year. I used that money and put a large upfront payment on an townhouse for us to rent while I finished college.   \n\n\nCollege finished, I got a job making $73k\/yr. During senior year of college I was able to save up a bit of cash, seeing as we are living on loans. I used that cash as downpayment\/closing-costs and bought back our foreclosed home from the bank. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nIts going to be a year since we moved back in, and I am absolutely miserable. My sister and mother both lost their jobs. My sister has picked up job doing writing but it equates to like $12k\/year. My mother is collecting widows social security, and a pension, its like $30k\/year. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nI'm footing the entire mortgage and electricity bill. I am fucking miserable, and I can't stand living with them anymore. I'm fairly certain they're miserable too but I don't know how to fix it for them. I want sell the house separate from them financially, but there quality of life would suffer greatly. Maybe live in poverty areas, if not be completely homeless. WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA - you have given your family a lot, and it's okay to say it isn't working out.\n\nDon't split the value of the house though, that is your money and investment. They have been living rent free for a while.\n\nGood luck! ######"}
{"prompt":"English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people\n\nAnd yes there is a post in r\/advice speaking about my problem \n\nI (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.\n\nOne day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son” \n\nI didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.\n\nFast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby\nI was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true) \nShe told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever \n\nToday i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box \n\nMy cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)\nAnd i was like yeah sure \nAnd then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on\n\nAfter the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left\n\nWell they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######","completion":" NTA - you have a special skill they don't have and they want to use you for it as much as possible to avoid paying for photographers who specialize in family\/baby photos. Since they assumed you would do it, or you were signed up against your will, they're getting mad at someone else's words, someone else's promise for your work, when you didn't explicitly agree to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account sorry for the formatting on mobile \n\nSo some back story my mom was married to my stepdad for almost 15 years. He was like a second dad to me and my step brother and sisters are like siblings to me. Last year out of the blue him and my mom got a divorce. He sat me (19M) down and we had a conversation how nothing between us would change and I was still his son. \n\nSo during the pandemic I needed a place to stay after the university I went to shut down. I knew my mom and her boyfriend live in a small apartment so asked if I could stay with my stepdad. Of course he said yes. So now it’s been something like two months. So last week my mom and her boyfriend got engaged after dating for about a year. \n\nAfter hearing the news a called them to congratulate them. As soon as she answered she tore into me about how inappropriate and disrespectful to her and her fiancé it was for me to be staying with her ex husband and his family. \n\nNow all this week I’ve been getting bombarded with opinions for family and friends about what they think and they are very divided mainly by moms friends and family and everyone else. But AITA ######","completion":" NTA - you have a relationship with a person who was in your life playing some sort of parental role for 15 years. I don't know what your mum expected, but if it was that you would cut all ties with him simply because she's the one with the biological connection to you that was an unreasonable expectation to have. You needed to move somewhere and it's great that your ex-stepdad is still here for you. She should be pleased that you still have support from him and not flip out at you for it.\n\nOn a side note, you're an adult and you can stay wherever you like - neither your mum nor your family and friends should be wading into your decisions like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for reporting my car stolen. A lot of things happened so I'm going to try to summarize. Long story short my brother in law has been in and out of jail most of his life. He has had his driver's license suspended due to multiple running from the law and driving under the influence. He seemed to be wanting to turn a new leaf in his life and has had \"bad luck \". I was willing to loan him my car with rules. They are as followed. He was not to drive his girlfriend was to drive him everywhere. They where to help keep up the car. And finally they where to not to smoke in it. They also lived with us for about a year. During this year neither one of them held a job for more than a couple of months. Would isolate themselves until they wanted to \"borrow\" money. Also the car would reek of cigarettes and the seats be so nasty you couldn't tell what color they were.  It all came to a head when they went MIA in my car for two months. I asked them for my car and It was a lame excuse as why they couldn't have it back I also received in this time tickets from another state over. I told them to have my car back a week ago or I was going to report it. Still nothing. The police called today and my car was on the other side of the state ( three and a half hours away.) Am I the asshole for calling the law  and reporting my car stolen. ######","completion":" NTA - you gave him guidelines to follow, which he obviously didn’t follow. Heaven only knows where your car was for the two months it went missing. I would have called it in sooner! ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I live together, and she’s usually pretty relaxed and easy to get along with. But today she put on a smaller tank top, and some shorts, looked in the mirror and asked if the top made her look fat.\n\nNow my girlfriend isn’t fat per se, but she’s a little chubby. She’s still attractive, but she’s not a 2% body fat supermodel. Neither am I, but I don’t get upset if someone points it out.\n\nI said she looked great, and she said that I didn’t answer the question. I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and then started crying.\n\nAt this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. I gave her a perfectly nice answer in the first place, and she wanted an honest answer.\n\nShe claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - You gave her your honest opinion and gave it in the nicest way possible.Don't ask questions you don't want answers to. ######"}
{"prompt":"(24M)\n\nYesterday afternoon, a new neighbour in our flat knocked on our door. It was a young woman and she asked if we had any sugar at home she could borrow to use for her baby's milk for the day, since she can't go out to buy any and her husband is working.\n\nI told her that I had some sugar left, but it's only enough for the apple pie I was planning to make that evening. She said that she really needs it since her 2 year old baby refuses anything else to eat, and that it would be a kind gesture if I could give up my apple pie for another day.\n\nI kindly refused and I mentioned that if she really needs it, I can go out and buy it for her **(I meant with her money)** but I'm not looking to give my sugar away.\n\nShe wasn't happy and sarcastically thanked me as she was leaving. I just closed the door and continued about my day.\n\nI'm always one to doubt my previous actions and I question myself as to whether I was right or wrong, so I told my parents.....and they told me I was selfish for not helping someone out and that they expected better from me as a gentleman.\n\nI'm here for judgement. Was I selfish? Was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - you even offered to go out and get sugar for her. I agree with most other people here....why on earth is she putting sugar in a 2-year old's milk??? ######"}
{"prompt":"Over the months, I've finally had time to paint and so I've made money off painting art commissions. I ordered a Switch and its meant to arrive some ime this week, and so I withdrew some cash so I can pay for it (cash on delivery)\n\nNow the problem is, my family has seen the wad of cash and has gradually borrowed money from it that it went from 12k to 2k. It's fine because I'm tracking the package and it wont be here 'til Monday, so I still have time to withdraw more cash and thankfully, I still have enough even if they don't pay me by then if my tracking is correct. And usually they notify me first and ask nicely.\n\nThis morning, my brother just casually dropped he took money from my wallet this morning while I was asleep. I got pissed and said \"you people aren't entitled to my money\". He got pissed too and said I shouldn't be acting like that, that he has been earning far longer and he never got my selfish attitude, and that he at least said she took it right now because she didn't want to wake me up.\n\n\nAITA for my attitude over my money? ######","completion":" NTA - you earned your money - I can't believe they took *10k* from you! That's absolutely ridiculous. Yeah he had been earning for longer, so he should have his own money and not have to take yours! ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.\n\nSo I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.\n\nThe point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.\n\nMy mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you don’t owe her a bday gift just because you make more money.  \n\nYou can give the gift if you wanted to out of your own kindness, but you shouldn’t be guilted into it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I just heard from our agent that we received a full price offer on our house within a week of listing. \n\nWhat should be a happy occasion turned out to be a fight....\n\nWe’ve been working furiously to get the house in proper order to ensure a quick\/full price sale. We’ve spent nearly $5k on painting, cleaning and upgrades. \n\nOur to do list didn’t get finished by the time we went on the market, and there are a few detail jobs still left to be done. However, that didn’t prevent us from listing, and getting a full price offer quickly. \n\nWe were basking in the glow of this news tonight, when my wife told me that she still wanted to get the last few projects done to ‘clear my conscience’. I told her that I thought that was a waste of time, and that we’d already spent enough time\/money\/effort to get the result we ultimately wanted, which was a quick sale. \n\nAm I the asshole for not wanting to spend more time, money, and effort when we’ve already achieved our goal? ######","completion":" NTA - you don’t need to keep running once you finished the race ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 30 year old male with high functioning autism. The other day my brother told me to stop fucking around and get my shit together so I can get married and have kids. I told him that we already had this conversation. I don’t want kids. I pass for normal but I had difficulty with learning and social interactions growing up. They don’t understand how difficult it really is. If I am going to get married it would be to another autistic person which raises the likelihood of our child having it too. I don’t want to take the chances of my kid being what I am or worse off. I’m also pretty unhealthy. My L5 is messed up and I’m in constant pain. My dad suffered from constant pain from a leg injury he had. He missed out on a lot of my childhood before he died of a heart attack when I was 7. I don’t want to have a kid and have them be without a dad. My past partners have all been autistic and super irresponsible. No one that I would trust raising a child. Similar to my mom who had a everything will work itself out mentality which led to my siblings getting into a lot of trouble. My brother wasn’t happy about this and stormed off because his kids needs cousins. You want the best for your kids and I don’t even see my kids having an ok life so why would I try. The kid would likely be mentally retarded due to both parents having the gene. The person I’m seeing is basically a child in a adult woman’s body. I have no trust in her. Even if I took better care of myself I still have a lot of health issues that could take me out before the kid grows up. Am I the AITA for not wanting to bring a child into a shitty situation? ######","completion":" NTA - you don't owe his kids cousins. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (25m) and my fiance (29f) are renting the house we live in from my mom (51f) with no written rental agreement. My mom wants us to assume the mortgage from her and we live here for the next 17 years until the mortgage is paid off. \n\nThe problem is that fiance and I both have to travel an hour or more to work and mom is using the house as her personal storage unit. Also the house needs a lot of work done to it because whoever added the additions to the house did a terrible job. We don't want to live in the house because we don't have room for our stuff and it is causing our relationship to have unnecessary arguments. \n\nWe want to live closer to work especially since I have to be to work at 5am. Whenever we say anything to mom about moving she replies \"you won't ever find a better deal than what I'm offering, assuming the mortgage is your best option to own your own house.\" The last time I mentioned moving she said \"how can I afford my camper if you move?\" \n\nSo reddit WIBTA if fiance and I move? ######","completion":" NTA - you don't need to be trapped in a house you dont want to live in, just because it's your moms. Let her rent it out to someone else. Get your own place, that suits your needs better, free of her stuff and closer to your work. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live in a 4 bedroom apartment with 3 other guys. I haven’t had any issues with any of them up until now when the roommate on my side started dating this girl and she basically moved. This doesn’t particularly bother me but her kid is living here now. He didn’t ask any of us if this was okay (obviously I would’ve said hell no regardless). Kids are, by nature, noisy. She’s like 6, so she’s gonna play and be a kid. However, I didn’t sign up to live with a kid. \n\nI was going to talk to him about it and let him know that it wasn’t cool that the kid lives here. But I think I’m just going to report it to the leasing office. He didn’t give us the decency of asking, so I figure why should I? \n\nFor God sakes, he doesn’t know any of us that well and they leave her to sleep in the living room (our common space) and all of her stuff is out there. I would be worried for my kids safety and be super uncomfortable with that - you never know what kind of people you’re around. \n\nAm I the asshole here if I report him? ######","completion":" NTA - you don't know each other that well and he didn't ask any of you.  So, IMO, TTA and they should have at least talked to everyone before they moved in. ######"}
{"prompt":"Posting for a friend without Reddit:\n\nI recently attended my child's wedding. His father and I split many years ago when he had an affair and got another woman pregnant. My ex husband has since passed away.\n\nMy child has a relationship with this half sibling and the kids that came after them. They attended the wedding. \n\nAITA for not acknowledging them? Another wedding guest called me out for not speaking to them. I don't speak to them because I simply have no relationship with them (didn't recognise them until pointed out) and it is a painful chapter in my life. \n\nNot that I wish them any ill will but I don't care to make small talk with my ex husband's kids. They are adults now and probably also don't want to make small talk with me either. This wedding guest seemed to think I was being rude. \n\nAITA for this? ######","completion":" NTA - you don't have to make conversation with people for appearances sake. If the kids aren't going to be hurt by your behaviour then you're not being assholeish. ######"}
{"prompt":"So basically, this blonde girl kept giving me 50% off my Subway. I wasn't sure if it was a glitch or not but I noticed whenever she served me specifically my bank statement would always show my charge as half the price of what I normally pay. I suspect she was doing this purposely and it was meant to be a sweet gesture... And because of this, I avoided mentioning it to her as I thought it would come off as tone-deaf if I pointed out that she was undercharging me (if she was doing it on purpose).   \n\n\nThis happened for about a month. And then one day their franchise owner was in the store doing a routine checkup on his staff members. He noticed me and immediately began snapping his fingers at me while calling me buddy sternly in order to get my attention. He asked me if I had come in the day before and then accused me of not paying for my sub the day prior (in front of his staff and customers). He then said he'd let it slide this time and that I could have yesterday's sub for free, but for me not to let it happen again. \n\nI assume he's implying that he thinks I'm a thief. I walked out and checked my bank statements (which all said I had paid). So I can only assume he's alluding to his staff member giving me 50% off. \n\nAm I an asshole for accepting what I presume would be this girl's staff discount?... ######","completion":" NTA - you didn’t ask and it’s not your fault the girl did that. That manager was very much out of place. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.\n\nTo the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.\n\nWe were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like \"uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!\" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said \"if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is\". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.\n\nWhen making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.\n\nDaughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ######","completion":" NTA - you didn't even bring it up, you indicated that if a hypothetical situation that she brought up was to happen then you would be supportive\n\nI've no idea how that could make you TA\n\nPeople are strange! ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll do my best to keep this brief. \n\nEarlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not. \n\nAfter some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago. \n\nBroke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong. \n\nThere’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - you did the right thing. \n\nPlus:\n> because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.\n\nSavage!  You hit a racist where it hurts.  Hopefully loving his grand kids can get him to realize that the racist crap is just crap ######"}
{"prompt":"My swimming instructor said I passed all of the requirements for the first part of my course. Then he said the last part of my course required  me to do a practical test at another swimming location the next day. I drove all the way to the new swimming pool about 30 minutes away and went into the swimming centre. I saw my swimming instructor and other swimming classmates. My swimming instructor said “sorry, I forgot that your swimming level (I am doing bronze star) doesn’t require an practical test. The practical test is only for those doing bronze medallion and above.”\nSo me and my family went home.\nThen weeks passed and I still have not received my bronze star certificate in the mail. \n\nI went to the swimming pool and told a staff member I haven’t received my certificate. Then she told me to write my mobile number down so my swimming teacher can contact me. Weeks had passed and I did not get a phone call from the teacher.\n\nI went to the swimming pool one day and happened to see my swimming teacher so I said that I still haven’t received my certificate. He said “that’s not my problem if you haven’t received your certificate”. I’m not the type to argue so I just left it there and came home and told my dad. \n\nMy dad said to email the swimming organisation and say that I haven’t received my certificate. They replied back and basically didn’t believe me. Then i had to reply back explaining the whole story, I even included the part where my teacher said “it’s not my problem”. Then finally the swimming organisation replied back and apologised. I received my certificate about two months late. \n\nThen the following year I had that same swimming teacher again to teach me swimming. He basically ignored me the entire time. AITA for going to great lengths to get my certificate? I mean I did pay around $100 for the course. ######","completion":" NTA - you deserve your certificate - you paid for the course. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mother has two children, me (28M) and my sister (30F)\n\nI’ve been with my wife for 7 years, she (34F) has a 9 year old son, I picked up the fatherly duties as his dad wasn’t around and he views me as his dad which I’m really happy about.\n\nMy mother is obsessed with having grandchildren, I always thought she saw my son as her grandson.\n\nMy wife and I Skyped my mother last week for her birthday (my sister and her husband were on the call too) when I mentioned the present I had delivered.\n\nShe said, maybe as a joke, “*the only present I want off you is a grand baby*” \n\nI said that she’s already got one, my son- my wife and I are  considering adopting too.\n\nTo sum up what she said; he isn’t biologically mine, she wants a child who’s biologically related to her.\n\nIt’s literally impossible for me and my wife to have a child together.\n\nI told her to call me when she isn’t so up herself.\n\nApparently she’s upset and my sister wants me to apologise for being so snappy and ruining our mothers birthday over a harmless comment that didn’t even offend my son.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - You could say to your sister something along the lines of \"A birthday is just one day. My son is going to be my son for the rest of my life. Her comment ruined the day and if she doesn't realise that, it could ruin a lifetime relationship with her grandchild.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life. \n\nDespite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him. \n\nYesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away. \n\nI do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.\n\nAITA for ignoring her? ######","completion":" NTA - You cannot fake being nice to someone you care nothing for.  You were civil. You didn't curse her out or flip her off which by the way are things I would have done. ######"}
{"prompt":"We were stuck in line for a half hour to get into a store and he wouldn’t stop looking over at the pretty woman in a super short dress reading a book called “sex and rage.” He made multiple comments about her book but it was very clear he was looking at her sexually - she was very pretty and showing a lot of skin (no hate, just fact).\n\nWIBTA if I told my bf that that made me uncomfortable today that it was so blatant and for so long and even commented on? I mentioned in line he kept staring and he didn’t say anything in response but I don’t see him responding to this well since he’s not very empathetic or emotionally mature. ######","completion":" NTA - you can’t be wrong for expressing how you feel as long as you’re doing it in a good way. That situation would make anybody in a relationship feel uncomfortable\/annoyed ######"}
{"prompt":"So my GF and have been discussing getting married and having kids. \n\nHowever last night we got into an argument over raising our kids. \n\nShe doesn't want them wasting away in front of a TV or being unhealthy... Ok that's fine with me. \n\nHowever then she says that she doesn't really want our kids to do Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. Her reasons are that all they promote is consumerism and bad eating habits. \n\nHowever I became angry because while yes I can understand that view, at the same time, it would be robbing our children of experiencing something fun of those holidays. \n\nHer upbringing was not a happy one and she doesn't like the idea of lots of candy or spoiling children with gifts. She grew up with a very absent mother and no father. So she didn't have a very good experience with those holidays. \n\nI can understand her stance, but I think about how much fun finding Easter eggs, going trick or treating is, and the magic of Christmas, and missing those or muting them down to just another day, bothers me. \n\nWell I went to bed angry and so did she. I said well I guess we shouldn't have kids then. I woke up this morning feeling terrible for saying that. However I think the damage is done. I don't think this will work out. \n\nIt just sucks because I can feel those great memories and get view on those holidays, I can feel those memories being ripped from me. \n\nAnywho that's it. So am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - you both have the right, whether people agree or not, to raise your children how you think best. I don’t agree with your wife at all as your children would be deprived growing up and feel excluded from everyone else. But that’s her opinion and if you guys can agree, then it might be time to split ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend (22) was upset his girlfriend (20, still in college) cheated on him with his best friend and broke up with him right before he was going to break up with her.\n\nHe showed me his cellphone with about 30 pictures of his now exgf topless and doing other things, mainly oral. He looks at me and laughs, “I’m gonna make this b*tch famous on pornhub. He looked dead serious and said he wasn’t kidding.\n\nI tried to explain to him how illegal this is and even without his face being in any of the pictures he would definitely face charges. I also mentioned how this would ruin her reputation because she goes to school with me and people would definitely find out. He told me she’s a slut so her reputation is already ruined. I took special note of how he didn’t even acknowledge my warning about him facing charges.\n\nSo when he went to the bathroom I grabbed his phone  (it was already unlocked) and deleted the pics. I’m pretty sure I got them all. I don’t know if his icloud backed them up but I didn’t go digging around for that. I told him what I did and ran out of his apartment door as he was screaming but unable to chase after me.\n\nAITA for deleting potential revenge porn? ######","completion":" NTA - you are obviously not the asshole.  \n\nWhether the girl cheated or not is irrelevant - revenge porn is cruel and over-the-top response.\n\nFingers crossed you got all of them.  This girl may never know what you did, but it was a really good thing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a friend who wanted wall sconce lights made.  He wanted 10 made and had a budget of $250USD.  This means that I would be doing them at a loss but as a favour I agreed.  I did one to his specifications and it was too long, he asked for the remainder to be done shorter.  I made them shorter and tested them in my own home to make sure the proportions were correct.  He harrasses me to finish them quickly (despite being for an airbnb that will get no bookings during a pandemic) and I finish them.  He then takes three weeks to pick them up.  After picking them up he tries them out and they dont work because he is using long lightbulbs that butt into the wood of the lightboxes.  I express that I am sorry that that happened but recommend he jjust buys shorter lightbulbs at $3-$8 a piece instead of making me do work valued at $450 for free because he was incapable of giving me correct measurements.  He is furious and I refuse to budge.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you are literally doing him a favor for barely anything. He has an easy fix for it to that'll barely add on to his cost. Instead, he wants you to spend hundreds of dollars fixing his mistake? Drop him as a friend. He takes advantage of your kindness, harrasses you to get it finished only to be too lazy to take the time to pick them up, and they won't be getting any use anyway. You did the job and well if the only complaint is his lightbulbs, which he measured inaccurately, don't fit. ######"}
{"prompt":"On Twitter a video originally posted on tik tok has gone viral of a man building his wife a coffee table. In the video the wife says how she wanted a expensive coffee table but the husband says he will just build it for her. \n\nI liked 2 retweets of the video. The first one says “I want a bob the builder a** husband” and the second one was “men forever asking can we cook, can y’all do this?” because UHM who wouldn’t want a husband who can build coffee tables?! \n\nHere’s the issue! My boyfriend saw that i liked those tweets and accused me of wanting another man who can build me coffee tables. My response was “.... can you not build stuff?” because i thought he was really good at those things. He told me that i didn’t like those tweets because of him and told me to go find a “bob the builder a** dude” since i wanted someone else. \n\nHe said i liked the tweets because of the guy in the video.... i’m super confused because the guy is literally building his WIFE a table and i thought it was super cute too! I think every girl whether or not she has a boyfriend would love a husband who can build things. That doesn’t mean she wants someone that isn’t her boyfriend. \n\nHe has now blocked me and called me a hoe. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - you are allowed to have your own opinion. If boyfriend(now ex?) doesn’t agree, he should be able to have a civil conversation about his feelings towards it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf \"your parents told me to tell you x\" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like \"take out the trash young woman\" or \"go to your room\". \n\n\nHer parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them \" I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that.\" They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ######","completion":" NTA - you are acting like a respectful partner. This parent-child relationship sounds incredibly controlling, like they are passing you the torch of \"shaping her into a respectable young lady\"\n\ncreepy to the max.\n\nYou are young and I don't know if the relationship will last - not because of her parents, but like normal relationships come and pass - but you ARE looking out for her, by respecting her as her own person and not giving in to her parents pressure.  \nThat is the very best you can do as a partner, so continue to do that ######"}
{"prompt":"I [16M] started dating my girlfriend 2 years ago. I also got super super into baking around that time. I bake a lot. My girlfriend loves desserts. So I've given her a ton of stuff I bake, all kinds of different stuff. I often try to bake something new and then she gets to try something new. I honestly love baking way more than eating it. My girlfriend is the opposite.\n\n\nWell recently she gave me a scrapbook she made. She had counted every thing I baked her apparently, and she gave me this scrapbook after I baked her, her 100th dessert. It was filled with a picture of every dessert I've baked and pictures of me baking  and her eating. She wrote a paragraph about each item I baked. Each item was dated too. She had been working on this for 2 years. She also wrote a long letter on how proud she is of my baking hobby, thanking me for the sweets, and telling me how much she loves me. It was the sweetest gift I've ever gotten and I honestly cried.\n\n\nI showed my mom and sister expecting them to think its cute but they were pissed. They were angry I've spent so much time baking for my girlfriend and not them. I just got into this habit and I loved making my girlfriend happy as well since she loves desserts. ######","completion":" NTA - you and your girlfriend sound sweet and your family sounds bitter ######"}
{"prompt":"I (15f) am getting tired of my sister (20) constantly stealing my stuff, mostly my art supplies. My supplies was a couple of pallets and paint brushes, I paid for all of these myself, I don’t have a job yet so it’s hard for me to buy new supplies so I use my supplies cautiously. \n\nIt started when I was using my paint supplies on a project that I had to finish. My sister was playing with my niece. I left to go to the bathroom and feed my cat and when I came back, she stole one of my pallets and excessively stacked paint all over it. She was also using my most delicate\/expensive paint brushes. I quickly grabbed the paint brush away and I got pissed off and yelled at her for grabbing my stuff. She quickly tried to make me a bad person for “ruining her bonding time” with her niece (even though she was the one painting and not my niece).\n\nI left to go clean up my brushes and when I came back, she started painting that same pallet on top of my project and let my niece use a sheet of paper to paint. This time, she took out her own box of paints and brushes. She used her own brushes for her and my niece, but continued to use my paints.\n\nI took away my stuff and put them in my box and my sister tried to make me the bad person by saying that “niece just wanted paint” and “I wouldn’t let niece use my stuff”.\nI would have gladly let them paint with my pallets if they just asked, but they didn’t\n\n\nNote: my sister has her own money to be able to buy her own stuff and has 3x more supplies than I do. ######","completion":" NTA - Yes, your sister wanted to paint with your niece, that's cute and fine, but not of they're using your supplies. Those are your belongings, and she should have asked in the first place. (maybe you could win some cool aunt bonus points and get your niece one of those cheap lil paint sets for kids?) ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn’t a shitpost, I’m still reeling and tbh even if I am the asshole I’m so incensed I don’t think I can regret what happened.\n\nHowever my bf thinks I was indeed the asshole so I’m here for sake good ol’ fashioned judgement. \n\nWe have a shared laundry room in my apartments, I was dealing with my basket of clean laundry and was folding as I was going. I had 2 baskets, 1 full of jumbled bedsheets and blanket and 1 for my folded laundry ready to take up. \n\nThere was a lady there with her kid,she was sitting completely ignoring her kid on her phone. The kid was running around and pulling things, pushing buttons, twisting settings on random machines etc. \n\nShe didn’t once stop to tell her daughter to behave. At one point she crawled on her belly halfway under some benches and when she came back out she was covered in dust and filth. \n\nI carried on with my folding giving the girl death glares cuz she kept looking over to my basket and asking her mom if she could ‘touch the blankie cuz it’s pink’ \n\nHer mom kept grunting without looking up. I turned around to sweep in the dryer to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything and lo and behold when I turned around the kid had handfuls of my blanket in her grimy ass hands. \n\nI yelled (didn’t mean to, I just said loudly ‘WHAT are you doing??’) and the mom *immediately* got up and started to cuss me out. I was pretty pissed cuz I only have 1 blanket to sleep with (everything in storage elsewhere rn) and so I snapped back that she was a bad parent and negligent. \n\nThe kid literally wasn’t bothered, she was back to crawling and the mom literally looked like she was gonna throw hands so I left. I told my bf this on the phone fuming and he said I acted like an asshole and a Karen. ######","completion":" NTA - yes it is hard being a parent but the mother should have at least been paying some attention to her daughter, and shouldn't have shouted at you for your reaction. It also isn't just your clothes she has messed up. If she was letting the daughter turn the washing machine dials she could easily have changed the settings of an ongoing wash to a higher temperature making colours run, or off sensitive to something that could damage the clothes. ######"}
{"prompt":"This one is pretty straightforward. My husband and I have been married for two years. Ever since our wedding night, my MIL has been talking about grandchildren. Nonstop. I understand she’s excited. It’s a thing mother in laws do. Whatever. Up until December, I would just shrug it off. I wasn’t ready for a baby and neither was my husband. We were happy building our careers, and - sure - having a baby was a definite long-term plan of ours, but we just weren’t ready. Not yet.\n\nWell, in December, I found out I can’t have children. My husband and I were pretty crushed. After that, my MIL’s small remarks about “grand babies” made my heart sink. Around the new year, my husband and I asked her to (please.) stop asking and making comments about us having children because it made us uncomfortable. And she did! It was great. \n\nThen corona hit and, well, up until very recently, I hadn’t seen anyone but my husband in months. He and I have started to accept the fact that we may never have a biological child,  and we’ve even discussed adoption\/other options at length. It’s been a process, but we’ve been communicating about it. It’s been really good for us. \n\nThe first time I saw my MIL post-quarantine, last week, she immediately made a comment about how since my husband and I have spent so much time together, she’s bound to have a grand baby for the new year. Before I could even think, I snapped, “no, and you probably never will because I’m infertile.”\n\nShe looked crestfallen and was mortified. I didn’t mean to snap at her like that, but it just came out of me. Initially, my husband was super supportive and kept telling me that this was on her, and we had asked her to stop asking. Now, he wants ME to apologize, saying his mother keeps crying on the phone with him because she thinks I hate her. So... I have to apologize? I know what I did was abrupt. I own that. But, I don’t think I should apologize. \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - yeah you snapped, but she was pushing it by constantly going on about grandkids. I don't think you should have to apologise but it's also not a cut all contact type of moment.  If you're able to have a conversation with her and allow her to apologise maybe you can all move past this. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little back story my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. I stay at his house 5 days a week and mine 2. I am renting to own my place and he owns his. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage. Now my prior marriage ended when my child’s father had a year long affair and then kicked myself and our children out of our home and moved his mistress in resulting in my and my children being homeless and sleeping in our car in the Walmart parking lot. \n\nNow my boyfriend and I were having a talk about our relationship and the future and I asked about moving in someday since I stay there 5 days a week and he said yeah you probably can’t live here because I don’t want to give you half of what I own if you decided to leave. Then I asked what if we stayed together for 50 years and he said that his house would go to his sister and that she would probably let me still live here if I needed to but he wanted his stuff to stay in his family. \n\nNow that terrifies me because I never want to be homeless. Then I told him that I wanted another child and he said “why do you can put me on child support when you leave and still get the house because it will go to my kids and then you’ll be here and probably sell it out from under him”\n\nNow at this point I’m really questioning why he’s giving me such rude answers because we’ve been together awhile and I just want to know if we have a future together and he’s calling me a gold digger. I haven’t spoke to him in a few days and he’s left several mean voicemails saying I’m overreacting and that “this proves it to him how I am” AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA - wtf? You sure you want to live with him OP?\n\nHave you discussed i dunno a possible prenup? \n\nYour boyfriend sounds like a child tbh. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me, my son, and my daughter go swimming in my pool a lot together. Their mother is MIA. Its been pretty hot here lately so its a good way to cool down as well and we do it very often. My daughter said she wanted to start swimming in the pool topless since me and my son do and its hot. She said it'd be unfair and sexist to let my son and myself swim topless but not her. Obviously girls have boobs but I still take her point so I agreed to let her. So now she swims topless always. Sometimes she swims alone, but we usually all swim at the same time. Her twin brother doesn't mind either. Its also impossible for anyone outside the house to see us when we are swimmimg. My parents said its inappropriate for us to see her breasts when I mentioned it and made a fuss about it. ######","completion":" NTA - wow, a father that doesn’t sexualise his daughters breasts\n\nYou might be the first one I have ever seen on this sub ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.\n\nSo I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless. \n\nI got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######","completion":" NTA - wine is a totally neutral and appropriate gift to give someone retiring. It’s super nice you wanted to thank her for her work and helping you.  It’s extremely odd your girlfriend is acting jealous of an older woman at your job . ######"}
{"prompt":"I came to live with my parents in Alaska when Universities told their students to go home and I just graduated. Even though I’m on social security, I still managed to save some money for an emergency. I had to leave all of my home goods in the lower 48 and I’m expected to pay for my vehicle and possessions to be driven here. But that’s not the issue.\nMy sister and her fiancé decided to move back home too because of some hard financial hits and coronavirus cutting her work hours. I asked if I could move in with her when the time comes because generally just want to get a different job and don’t want to live with my parents anymore. I told her I would help pay rent and that we would have strictly roommate relationship rules. She didn’t say anything at first, but a couple days later asked to borrow money from me for the entire deposit, I said yes and that’s when she informed me I wouldn’t be allowed to move with her.\n\nSo I’m wanting to know if I would be the asshole if I told her I changed my mind about loaning her the money? I already said I would, I know she’s in a financial situation and I’ll probably never see the money again, but what she did really just... yeah. ######","completion":" NTA - why would you put a deposit on a place you won’t be living, when you’ll need a deposit yourself to move into your own place?  She’s being unrealistically selfish. ######"}
{"prompt":"I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.  \n\nI work at a welding shop in the midwest.  It's hot, I sweat.  The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.  \n\nThe last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.  \n\nSo I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here.  I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk.  Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.\n\nWork is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts.  I come in, the damn thing is near empty.  Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.\n\nI've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek.  The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - why should you buy tp for everyone else at work? ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad forced me (age 15 male) into the dual enrollment program at only 15 (if you don’t know what that is, it’s where you go to college and high school at the same time). I have gone to the same small town private school with about 100 students since kindergarten. I’ve never had to try at this school. Everyone gets all As. The curriculum is super easy and everything is pretty much busy work. My dad thinks I’m a super genius and holds me up to crazy standards even though I’ve never really had to try in my whole school career. But college is a whole different world. I worked my ass off and I’m talking about I seriously worked my ass off to get an 87 in a class full of 20 year olds and I just turned 15. My dad learns about this and he absolutely flips. Yelling at me about how I’m going to be a failure in life and that he’s grounding me for the whole summer and how I’m a disappointment and a disgrace to the family. He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. He’s been emailing all my high school teachers and apologizing for my “laziness” and “irresponsibleness” and that he will “discipline me accordingly” even though I make all As in high school. I lashed out on him and told him he can’t speak and told him he was a failure himself because of all of his failed marriages, his kids that he has never even met, the fact he can’t keep a job just to name a few. And now my grandparents and my dad have been pissed of at me for a week now and I don’t know what to do. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - why is he e-mailing your teachers in HS when he's upset about your grades in college? Dude has some crazy high unrealistic views of how he wants your life to be. I don't blame you for lashing out at him, he seems obsessed ######"}
{"prompt":"yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion.\n\ni’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter?\n\ntoday when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”. \n\ni was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s).\n\nso reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######","completion":" NTA - why does your dad care? It's your body and you should be able to chose whether you shave or not. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is so stupid I can't even believe I am typing it out on my mobile but here it is folks cabin fever maybe getting to me so I need some nonbias perspective on this. \n\nSo my BF and I are gamers, currently, both of us are WFH. Now, normally gaming time is limited for both of us because of long hours at work and weekends are reserved for downtime. We each have our own systems I have a ps4 pro he has an Xbox one. I personally don't like the Xbox platform (I have my reasons) while he is a lot more versatile. So I will stick to gaming on my ps4 while he bounces in between the two. \n\nUsually, he will every once in a great while play on the ps4. But lately, he's been playing only been playing it for the last two weeks it's to the point where I don't even get a chance to play. Plus the ps4 is in our bedroom he will play into the wee hours of the morning while I'm trying to sleep (I never do this to him). He knows I don't like the Xbox, I also am not into the type of he has for it I like RPGs and buy these, while he buys more strategic games or MMO first-person shooter games which admittedly I hate lol. Idk why but I get very disoriented while playing them. Not only this but he's gone in and beat some of the games I was playing so now I have to start all over.\n\nWhen I've hinted I would like to play on the ps4 he will say oh just a bit longer, or why don't you go play a game on the Xbox. Basically just brushing me off and it's starting to really aggravate the piss out of me. WIBTA if I told him he needs to stop playing on my ps4 constantly and finishing my games? And also that he's being rude playing at night in the bedroom when I am trying to sleep? ######","completion":" NTA - Why can't he just play his Xbox, he knows well enough that you don't like that system and only want to play yours. If it's the type of game, then for now a timetable needs to be established for when and how long he can play the PS4. Ultimately, the PS4 is yours, so you have full control over who plays it.\n\nAlso he doesn't have his own save files? He doesn't have his own profile either? I know a few games that only use one but he's an adult familiar with gaming so, he definitely should be playing his own saves. If the game only has one, then make a rule that you get to finish the game first if you started it. Right now, he's being extremely inconsiderate. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######","completion":" NTA - who plans a wedding for your own child's birthday?! That is really weird. ######"}
{"prompt":"We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.\n\nOne of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him. \n\nThen in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.\n\nI told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.\n\nAITA reddit? ######","completion":" NTA - Who joins a work meeting while in the middle of a protest? Not exactly professional. ######"}
{"prompt":"Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.\n\n\nSo I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.\n\nI usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding\/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.\n\nSo husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.\n\nI asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing. \n\nAnd that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”\n\nNow I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######","completion":" NTA - who has alarms set when everyone has a day off? And then does only half of the job that needs to be done early in the morning? Sleep is critical, especially when you are growing a teacup human. Your body needs time to catch up. ######"}
{"prompt":"My parents wanted me to become a doctor since I was a kid. Even though I had always made it very obvious that I'm not interested at all in studying medicine. I want to study business administration.\n\nI finished high school this year, and have to choose between what career path to choose. My parents died in a car accident over a month ago, and now my family is pressuring me to fulfill their wish.\n\nI've been told that I'm a narcissist, and that I'm self-centered, egoistic and insensitive for not considering their wishes for my future since their death. \n\nAITA for still wanting to pursue the career path that I chose for myself? ######","completion":" NTA - while your parents might wanted you to become a doctor, I do think they wanted you to be happy more than this. But the real assholes here the people (I assume relatives) calling you narcissist because what the hell do they know. And how dare they assume they know what your parents wanted. I would be infuriated at them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I met with a friend this past weekend to chat. We're both 21M white guys and go to the same college, but live about 45 minutes away. We decide to meet halfway at this one cafe.\n\nAnyways, we're chatting about various life topics and the discussion of haircuts come up. He says that not being able to get a haircut is good because he can \"blend in\" with everyone having bad haircuts (or something along those lines.) Now I've gone to places such as Great Clips my whole life, and started going to a local black barbershop about 3 years ago. The difference was night and day in terms of both the experience and quality of haircut.\n\nSo I said to him, \"You should try going to a black barbershop. They always get you right\" and told him about how good my hair always is, and how the barbers make you feel at home. He responded with a simple \"yeah I understand.\" And we changed the conversation and everything was good I thought.\n\nToday I texted him and asked if he wanted to meet again and he texted back saying he'd be happy to but added \"don't bring up weird topics again\" I asked him what he meant and he brought up what I told him and said I was borderline racist?? I don't understand what exactly I did wrong in this situation and confused on how it could be racist.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Whether or not it's a \"stereotype\", I'm almost positive this is a real thing. I'm white and I have typically gotten my hair cut by black barbers. It's not racist - it's a different style in terms of how they go about cutting your hair. I feel like he definitely overreacted and frankly, I'm not a fan of people deciding to get offended for other ethnic groups that they aren't a part of, with the exception being clear-cut and\/or egregious offenses. ######"}
{"prompt":"Our son(16) had bulimia, he’s recovering. Almost every time he goes to bathroom, my wife follows him and stands right by the door. I understand that she’s really worried, I am too, but I think she’s doing too much here. Our son has asked her to stop, she stops for 2-3 days and then does the same. \n\nYesterday I had a talk with her and asked her to stop doing it because it makes our son really uncomfortable. She got upset and said that I’m being insensitive and not considering her feeling. We haven’t talked about it more and she’s giving me cold shoulder. ######","completion":" NTA - what your wife is doing to make *herself* feel better, is making your son (the one battling an eating disorder) feel *much much worse*.\n\nAs a parent, you don’t get to make yourself feel better to the detriment of your sick child like this - no offense, but it’s disgusting.\n\nI know what all of you are going through is crazy right now, but if your wife isn’t part of the solution (love, support), she is part of the problem (contributing to anxiety).\n\nDon’t let your wife be part of the problem.  Protect your son. ######"}
{"prompt":"When my wife was younger she lived off takeaways or she didn't eat, her dad would buy her 2litre bottles  of coke when she was 6+ so she never really had that healthy relationship with food, she also never got to leave the house unless it was for school.\n\nShe is obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, this became worse when we had children (13F,11F,4M)\n\nThe children love exercise and that's great, our eldest is in football and track and our other daughter is in gymnastics and ballet.\n\nMy wife loves making them eat healthy too, their breakfast this morning was a spinach and tuna wrap with a fruit salad on side \n\n\nTheir lunch is going to be Shaved Carrot and Radish Salad.\n\nThey're allowed one cheat snack a week but the rest of the time they're only allowed fruit or vegetables and that's great but they should be allowed stuff like biscuits in my opinion.\n\nThis is where the problem has started, I'm a little frustrated at the food because let them be kids and stop taking your own issues out on them,  then while they're playing video games in the study she comes in trying to get our eldest to come out and play football in the garden with her and the youngest.\n\nHer; hey *eldest* come play football with me and your brother? Better than sitting around all day and not being productive!\n\nMe; babe, kids are allowed to have some lazy days it's fine!\n\nHer; no it isn't! They should be out exercising, getting fresh air, NOT getting eye strain on the console\n\n(Their screen time used to be 2hrs a week on xbox)\n\nI may have snapped and told her to leave the children alone.\n\nShe got all teary eyed and we haven't spoken since.\n\nI thought I was in the right but after speaking to my sister she says I was the AH\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - What your wife is doing is also not creating healthy options with exercise and eating. What is going to happen as these kids get more independent? They're going to discover some stuff and have to develop their own method of self-control when they don't have it because your wife has been over the top. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.\n\nThis morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######","completion":" NTA - what is it about low level management and their obsession with thier employees bathroom habits?  I had this many years ago when I worked in a call centre. Every bathroom break was timed and we would be interrogated if we were “off the dialler” for more than 4 minutes.  \n\n“What were you doing in there? The guys manage to stay under 4 minutes”\n\n“I was unzipping, sitting down, doing my stuff, wiping, changing my tampon, standing up, zipping myself back up, walking out of the stall and washing my hands” \n\n“Ok ok TMI!!” ######"}
{"prompt":"Not too much to say, but she wants to lose weight and I keep telling her not eating isnt the way to go, she needs to just eat the right type of foods and exercise. But shes really mad that I dont want her to only have water for 20 days to lose weight. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - water fasting is not recommended for more than 72hrs without medical supervision. \n\nTell her if she's serious, she should consult with her primary doctor (who will tell her hell no). ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...\n\nWe work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.\n\nI get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.\n\nThis isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.\n\nSo, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######","completion":" NTA - Though I think the bigger issue here is why he didn't simply ask you?\n\nI'm not one of those \"omg druuuugs!\" people, but if your boyfriend is that anxious for weed he thinks it's okay to steal yours, he might have a problem. Either way though, even if it's not about a possible substance problem, what you've described, especially in your last sentence, is gaslighting. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account, on mobile, first time poster, etc. \n\nMy partner (20M) “Jack” and I (20F) recently decided to get married. We have been starting to plan some broad aspects of our wedding so we’ll know more of what we’re looking for when we set them in stone. One thing we’ve started looking at is the number of guests we’re going to be inviting, since we want it to be as small of an affair as it can be with our large families. \n\nThis has me a little concerned about two guests I really want to invite: my ex best friend “Lindy”’s (20F) parents. Lindy and I were friends for about 15 years, but she basically ghosted me and told me I wasn’t her friend and she didn’t want me to contact her ever again. However, I have maintained some contact with her parents, who actually took my side and apologized for her. We have met in public a few times (I live in a different city now so not often) and they have met Jack. I sent them a card when they went through a tragedy, whenever we run into each other they are always so happy to see me. Overall I would say my relationship with them is great, and if they were not her parents there would be no question that we would invite them to the wedding. \n\nI don’t know if I’d be an asshole for inviting them, since I have zero interest in inviting Lindy. If I invited them, I’m concerned it would look like I was still bitter toward Lindy. Also, I feel bad for probably putting them in a tough position, having to choose between myself and their daughter. \n\nI asked Jack what he thought about it, and he said that if I would invite them if Lindy wasn’t their daughter, it shouldn’t make a difference that she is their daughter, especially since she was the one who ended the friendship and not me. I am still unsure, but I want to sort this out ASAP so that it doesn’t become a major stresser for me later. \n\nWIBTA if I invited them even though I’m not inviting their daughter? ######","completion":" NTA - This would be no different if you knew an older couple that had a daughter that you didn’t know. You would invite the people you like and know. \n\nYour former friend might be upset. And honestly she should be.  People shouldn’t treat their friends in such a fashion. Friendships end, but to declare it over - is immature. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just found out that my husband agreed to be written into his sister's will saying we will adopt her two daughters if anything happens to her and her husband. This has never been discussed. He works away all the time so it would actually be me looking after them. I know it's a 'hopefully it'll never happen' thing but still I feel I should have been consulted. And none of my OH family can understand why I'm pissed off about this. I want it removed but they say it'll never come to that anyway. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - This was a complete violation for your husband to make this promise on your behalf. Don't worry about the larger family, *he's* the one who should realize his (huge) mistake and fix things. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nA little background info; we just had a baby five months ago, I’m working from home juggling everything and he just sits around and stares at his phone when he’s home from work. His only contributions to the house are taking out the garbage and scooping cat litter. I make double what he makes, pay the majority of the bills and pay for 98% of the expenses for our child.\n\nSo since the baby has been born, my husband loves to ask stupid questions he can obviously see the answers to, like the bottle is in my baby’s mouth and she’s sucking, and he’s asking “is she eating?” (This happens every feeding he’s home to see) if I’m making dinner, he’ll walk into the kitchen and ask if I’m making dinner, when all he has to do is look and he’ll see I am. It’s incessant, and I’m actually more tired answering him all day than I am from working and the baby.\n\nToday the baby woke up earlier than normal, due to a poopy diaper. She’s a pretty happy girl, but can be a handful. He came in while I was mid poop cleaning and asked if she pooped. 20 minutes later, she spit up on me, it got on my shirt, so I stripped it off and went with her to the closet to put a new one on. “Are you changing your shirt?” I lost it.\n\nI’m not sure if I’m TA or not, because after 5 months of this, I cannot take it anymore. I asked him why he’s constantly asking questions he can observe and see the responses to, and how obvious they are, and he said “I don’t care what you do” Well, you obviously do if you’re up my ass all day long.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA for asking him to stop? ######","completion":" NTA - This scene between Summer and Jerry, on Rick & Morty, comes to mind...\n\nhttps:\/\/m.youtube.com\/watch?v=Si-s4xLZU5w\n\nJerry walks into the living room where the TV is on, and Summer is on her phone...\n\n“Jerry: What' you doing? Watching some tv, playing on your phone?\n\nSummer: Is that a real question?\n\nJerry: Just making conversation.\n\nSummer: Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to: say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark \"yes\" like a trained animal. It's not a conversation; you're holding me verbally hostage.” ######"}
{"prompt":"My great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring has been in our family for generations and is traditionally given to the oldest son to propose to his future wife with. Per that tradition the ring should go to my older brother Jake, who is gay and wants to propose to his partner of four years, Ben. However my mom refused and said that the ring should go to my younger brother Mike instead because Ben is not a woman and gay marriage is not legal in our country. She suggested having another ring made for Ben using some of the other jewelry that belonged to my grandmother. \n\nI’m the middle child and I’m female so the ring won’t go to me either way, (not that I want it because I’m not a fan of the vintage look) and I’ve tried to stay out of the discussion. Jake asked me to help him convince our mom that she’s being homophobic and she should give the ring to Jake to propose to Ben with in accordance to the family tradition. When I told him that I don’t really want to get involved in their argument, he accused me of being homophobic. \n\nFor the record, I’m fine with Jake’s sexual orientation and I fully accept Ben as his partner. I just don’t want to back anyone because I think they both have a point and I’m not even sure who’s ‘more’ right. My parents are very traditional but they’ve done their best to accept Jake and Ben. We invite Ben to all of our family’s events, my mom tries to bond with him by teaching him how to cook Jake’s favorite foods growing up, and my dad gifted Ben with a gold necklace engraved with Jake’s name on his last birthday. \n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to stay out of this instead of taking Jake's side? ######","completion":" NTA - This really has 0 to do with you.\nThe fight is between them. ######"}
{"prompt":"She hasn't bathed, changed clothes, or done any household things since Animal crossing\/doom released. I pre-ordered both and a few more things for her as a semi early anniversary gift and she absolutely loves them... Too much.\n\nI didn't say a word the first few days, I understand excitement but once it got close to a week I made a bath for her and she said she'd get to it later. Later as in 2 hours when the water was cold so she was no longer interested. After that I'd remind her every other day before work but no luck. I'd come home and she'd still be in the same clothes, playing something, and \"starving\" half the time because she'd get too into the game and forget to eat. I'd cook supper and hear about her day which would always be game accomplishments.\n\n She has no known mental health problems and it's definitely not depression, in fact it feels quite the opposite. She gets super happy and excited about almost anything and bad news is always faced with optimism. I knew she'd cling to the games but I would have never imagined it being this bad.\n\nToday she was able to start playing a new one I pre-ordered and admitted she's probably not leaving the room for a day or so. I outright asked that she takes a shower before she starts paying but that didn't go well because she's really looking forward to it. I had had enough. It's gross and I already moved to the couch a week ago so I explained that if she wants to live that way fine, I'll be moving to our shed (it has AC and power so it's not bad at all) until she bathes and that upset her because she felt like she was being treated like a child and being forced to do things. I told her she was acting like a child and started packing my shit. She swears I'm being \"a jerk\" and I personally feel I was slightly over dramatic but I was pushed to this point.\n\nBonus info. We're both in our mid 20s, no kids, no intent on kids, and I have a halfway decent job so she stayed at home long before the current situation. ######","completion":" NTA - this isn’t normal behaviour - it’s compulsive behaviour and almost seems like addiction. It’s interrupting her normal life - which presumably would usually involve showering - so this isn’t normal. \n\nHowever it might be worth talking to her about why she has abandoned her normal life and taking care of herself for these games. \n\nYou say she doesn’t have mental health issues but she’s putting *feeding herself* as a lower priority than these games. Something is going on. ######"}
{"prompt":"13 F here. I've got 4 close friends, all 13. And, like 13 year olds, we like to be play videogames together. The problem is, I'm the only one with a pc, and enough controllers to play all 5. \n\nNone of my friends have anything to play on, so they all wanna visit me when we wanna do something together. That's fine, I like them, and I love playing with them. We always have a lot of fun. But every time we're at my place, they screech, scream, yell, curse, and make huge messes. I have a brother, who's room is right next to mine, and he always lends me enough controllers to play, as I only have one. And I repay him with 4 hours of non-stop screaming. \n\nI'm not saying I don't scream too, I'm no better than them. But my parents are beginning to grow tired of it. \n\nOn top of the noise, they make huge messes. A girl brings popcorn, and they fight about it until the floors covered. Another girl makes coffee, and there's coffee grounds everywhere. Another girl makes hot chocolate, and she drips chocolate all the way from the machine to the bin. Another girl gets impatient, and begins looking through my stuff, and completely covers my bed with random stuff from my shelves \"to look at it\"\n\nI spend hours after they leave, my parents give me a lecture about visiting someone else next time, and I ask them to maybe go visit someone else next time? \n\nThey all get a no.\n\nI'm just so fucking tired of dealing with this shit like 3 times a month. But I don't want to say no. \n\nWIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA - This isn't the way friends hang out in other friends' homes. They're supposed to respect your family\/ whoever lives in your house. They're also supposed to  clean after themselves. You talk with your parents and ask them if it's okay to use them as an excuse to tell your friends that they don't want anyone over cuz of social distancing. No is one complete sentence. If they said, \"Hey let's go to your house.\"\"Sorry, no can do.\" \"Why?\"\" Just can't have anyone over.\" Leave it at that. Another way to get them not interested is by telling them that the computer now belongs to a family member and no one can use it cuz of work. It's better to have an honest chat with your parents and see which excuse holds best for you and for them to back up. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I have a larger SUV that I absolutely love, but I’m trading it for something bigger. \n\nMy dad suggested that I let my stepmom buy my car for my payoff. I am in a bunch of positive equity because we put quite a bit down, doubled a lot of payments, and it doesn’t have very many miles. \n\nSo for example, my trade in value is $32,000. My payoff is $19,000. I told my dad that I would absolutely not sell it to him for that because though that’s what I owe, I’ve paid a lot on it and it’s worth way more than that. \n\nHe said “family doesn’t try to make money off of one another” okay but I’m not making any money off because I’ve already paid that towards the car? And I have to pay it off? So I didn’t get invited to Father’s Day and I don’t know which of us is the asshole but I think it’s him. ######","completion":" NTA - This is your vehicle. From what I understand, you purchased this vehicle on your own. You can get $32k for it, of which you must pay back $19k, putting you $13k in the black, which is remarkable for a leased vehicle.\n\nIt's just... Why the hell wouldn't you do that? If she has $19k for purchasing a vehicle, she could get a certified pre-owned to suit her needs easily.\n\nThe only way I'd see an argument otherwise is if your dad had been helping you with payments. ######"}
{"prompt":"My Mother Smashed My Phone\n\nOkay so the people in this story are me (Me) and my mother (Mom). This whole thing started because she felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with her, so she wanted me to play a game with her. I said yes, and so we started playing Euchre, a card game for those who don’t know. \n\nMom: God you look so funny.\n\nMe: Well I mean it is quarantine so I can’t get a haircut right now, maybe that’s why.\n\nMom: You’re such a jerk, why are you always so mean to me? \n\nMe: Mom that wasn’t mean, I-\n\nMom: Oh shut up, I don’t want to deal with you anymore. \n\nMe: Okay I think I’m going to be done playing for now, I’m going to bed. \n\nI then went down to my room and was texting when she sent me a nasty text, telling me to “f__k off” and that she “didn’t want to see me anymore.”\n\nThis next part is texting. \n\nMe: What did I do exactly?\n\nMom: You’re hurting everyone in this family. You’re so mean to everyone and no one likes you. Why do you never want to spend time with me? \n\nMe: Well maybe if your weren’t so mean I would want to. Besides, when you get mad you throw things around then storm off too your room. \n\nMom: F__k you. You’re so f__king disrespectful. \n\nAt this point I turned off my phone and was going to go to bed, when she stormed into my room and took my phone. As she was walking away she slammed it into the hardwood floor several times, then threw it against a brick wall we have. This shattered my phone and ruined it. I wouldn’t be mad except I paid for it, and this is the second time it happened. I am typing this from my brother’s phone. I already apologized for the rude thing I said, but she still hasn’t apologized for the things she said. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - this is very wrong. Can you leave? might be worth a crosspost to r\/insaneparents for extra advice as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him. \n\nAnyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it. \n\nA few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this\n\nHer: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment \n\nMe: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...\n\nHer: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal. \n\nMe: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself. \n\nNow my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300. \n\nTl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ######","completion":" NTA - this is the equivalent of scummy business up charging you for doing things that you didn’t ask for without your permission. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend\/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family. \n\nAm the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell? \n\nHad the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago\n\nEdit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion. \n\nAITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me\n\nEdit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######","completion":" NTA - This is an extremely sensitive matter. Quite honestly it was none of his family's business. I hope you are recovering well and stay emotionally strong despite the circumstances. Might be time to invest in a new boyfriend. ######"}
{"prompt":"So at my job me and “Cindy” have been friends throughout university &amp; when we graduated we both went to this company and have been here for a couple years now. I’m now 27m and she’s 28f and has been in a long term relationship for about 7 years. Her BF “Tim” was a good buddy of mine and we still hang out from time to time. Anyways so their 7th anniversary is today. Cindy’s been excited because she’s been sure that Tim’s gonna propose to her tonight. She was telling the office that he booked dinner at a suuuuper upscale restaurant in our city and some other fun things as well.\n\nI was mentioning this to my GF when I got home and then I was like Tim better propose tonight cause she’s been looking forward to it for SO long. My GF just gave a weird look and didn’t respond. Then later on, Cindy was sending messages in our work group chat and she was saying that she had already gotten drunk and if he proposes then she’ll just be a blubbering mess and won’t even be able to say yes. I started laughing and then my girlfriend asked whats up and I was telling her then she interrupted me and said it’s a bit strange that I’m so invested in their relationship. I said that’s an exaggeration, I have no emotional or otherwise stake in that relationship but I think they’re a great pair and should get married because I know for a fact that both of them want to. \n\nAnyways I tried to explain this to her and she wouldn’t budge on the matter. She’s iced me out for the rest of the day so I just left and went back to my place. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - this doesn’t even seem like you’re invested in her relationship. Your coworker shared something with the office that you decided was interesting enough to share with your girlfriend. If it’s unusual for her to act like this maybe something else is going on with her. Is she maybe hoping for a proposal from you? ######"}
{"prompt":"Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled \"HEY!\" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said \"your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc.\" Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?\nTl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######","completion":" NTA - this could go straight to r\/entitledparents ######"}
{"prompt":"This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28.\n\nMy parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kid of cold our whole childhood. \n\nMy brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.\n\nI confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.\n\nI told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults. \n\nI mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - They’re truing to take advantage of you. When I turned 18, my parents would have let me stay with them for free, if that was what I needed while going to school. They shouldn’t be using you and your brother for extra income. Live with your sister. ######"}
{"prompt":"A girl from my high school posted a video of herself screaming the n word with her mother. Another girl posted a picture of herself with blackface and calling herself a n word on her Snapchat story. She also happened to have a VSCO account where she posts pictures of her weed and alcohol. I emailed my principal and my state’s athletic association that manages my school’s sports. My friends thought that I did the right thing, but my parents got mad at me when I told them what I did. They said that I was ruining the girls’ lives and that they didn’t deserve to be kicked out of school since they were young. Now I think it wasn’t my place to report them. So Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - they're in high school, they're old enough to not be racist pricks. ######"}
{"prompt":"Despite social distancing guide lines, my mom seems to want to invite a new person over every other day. Not only that she tends to have a bad habit of asking me to take on much of the hosting responsabilities like cooking, catering, and entertaining. \n\nToday mom invited some of her friends and their gaggle of kids to play in the pool. She was doing most of the catering this time which was nice sense I wasn't interested in being there. this was partially because I was tired from all these social gatherings but also because I'm trying to do my own things in my room. \n\nThey all went to the backyard so I went to my room and started setting up my art project. Minutes later mom starts calling my name. I go to see what's wrong. It turns out she's tired. She wants me to come downstairs so she can take a nap in her room. I *really* didn't want to hang out with them.\n\nShe said, *\"Oh come on. you can just stay here in the living room. It's just in case they need anything. You can even bring you art stuff down here.\"*\n\nHere's the kicker: We have a macaw who is bonded to me. When other people are around she's relatively quiet but if I'm there she flips out and tries her darndest to get me to pick her up. I have ADHD. I *cannot* consentrate on my work when she's clinging to me. I just can't. I need piece and quiet.\n\nI put my foot down and told mom that I did not want to be downstairs right now. She got really annoyed but didn't fight it any further. Moments later I heard her tell her friends that she was going to sleep on the couch instead.\n\nNow I feel bad that I refused to help. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - they were your mother's guests not yours.  And she could have told them she was tired and asked them to leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (26F) boyfriend (25M) gifted me a pair of expensive headphones he got for free last year. I’ve been using them pretty regularly since, and he’s been away travelling for much of the time. Now he’s home and staying with me because of current circumstances and has been using my headphones quite a bit while I’ve been at work (I’m fine with this). When I got home from work this afternoon he asked if he could have them permanently. I laughed and said no I use them and they were a gift. Now he keeps asking and borderline begging me for them saying he’s “stressed” about not having headphones when he goes back to travelling for work, even though we don’t know when that will be. They’re expensive headphones and I don’t really know why he can’t buy his own cheaper headphones if he doesn’t want to spend that much money right now. I bought his plane ticket home and have been fully paying the rent and most of the groceries while he’s been here. He said he’d buy me cheap ones that have a cord (the ones in question are cordless) in exchange, but I’ve gotten used to having the cordless ones... should I just let it go and give him the headphones? It seems a petty thing to fight over but I think it’s rude to ask for a gift back a year after the fact. AITA?? ######","completion":" NTA - they were a gift, full stop. Grown people don't sulk like 6-year-olds who traded away their favorite baseball card. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi. So.\n\nMy full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version. \n\nThere is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz. \n\nI HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.\n\nAnd everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.\n\nSome of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.\n\nI know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.\n\nI've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms. \n\nSo now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######","completion":" NTA - they should respect you enough to stop making you feel uncomfortable. _They_ are the assholes. I hope your strategy works and they stop calling you by that nickname. ######"}
{"prompt":"So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######","completion":" NTA - they said they were using it for school. Middle schoolers don’t have summer assignments. It’s clear they were using it for other things and when they noticed it wasn’t working, tried bribing you. They should definitely have their own internet set up by now. ######"}
{"prompt":"I apologize for the weird title, I don’t even know where to start with this.\n\nI dipped into my savings and gave my older brother’s son $450 to get himself a used\/refurbished PS4 and some games. Josh is 14 and he has been wanting one forever. I wanted to help him get one so we can play together. \n\nI gave him the cash, and I honestly forgot about it for a couple of weeks. I understood he was at his parents mercy to get it, and it may take them some time. \n\nThought about it recently, called him up and asked him what happened to the PlayStation. He said he decided to do something else with the money, when I asked what he told me he gave it to the church so his family would have more money later. He said his dad would give him a PlayStation when they got the money back. \n\nI’m seeing red. I hang up with him and call my brother and ask him what the fuck they did with my money. He made it a point to tell me that Josh chose to give his money to the church that they watch on TV. \n\nI told him that the money was for a PlayStation. He said that he would buy a PlayStation when they got the money back. I asked for a date on the return, and he didn’t have one. I told him he had a week to give my my money back. \n\nThen he starts crying about how they’re hand to mouth and he can’t afford to give me $450. I told him I didn’t care. \n\nThen his wife goes to Facebook and starts begging my other family members for the money. Talking about how her son made the choice to give to god and not video games, and I’m punishing them for it by taking money from them. \n\nMy family is all crying fowl, and telling me that Josh made his choice and I have no right to demand the money back. I’ve made it clear to my brother and the rest of my family that I’m expecting the money as soon as possible.\n\nThe amount of backlash I’m getting is making me wonder if I’m an asshole for asking for this money back even though he’s struggling. In my mind he has stolen this money from me. AITA for demanding it back? ######","completion":" NTA - they don’t have any money to eat but they gave $450 to a church? They aren’t “expecting it back” - they’ve been sweet talked by a manipulative “pastor.” It’s prosperity gospel bullshit.\n\n\nBuy the kid the PS4 yourself next time. Your brother is nuts. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June &amp; don’t want to overlap rent &amp; mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - They delayed multiple times already. They are wasting your time, if you have a solid lead and they are willing to sign today, do it. But as soon as it's signed, send notice to the other person the apartment is no longer available so they know to keep looking. Don't argue (which they might want to do), just inform them of the change of status as a courtesy. ######"}
{"prompt":"My apartment complex just repaved and repainted the parking lot. They added one more parking spot to our area for our building and by doing so, the spots are much smaller. \n\nA person who lives here and has advertisements for his $59 DUI school\/drivers ed company(oh the irony), hit my fiancee's brand new Honda CRV while parking last night. He parked so close she had to use the passenger side door to get in this morning so she didn't see the damage until she got home at 5pm today. He didn't leave a note or acknowledge it at all. We took pictures of his car and our car and I had to decide what to do.\n\nThe damage is minimal, but damage nonetheless. I called my insurance and they said to get a police report. So I called the police and they came, inspected the damage, confirmed the damage matches both cars. The owner of the other vehicle came out and asked what was happening, just as I was walking back to my apartment to wait for the police to review everything. They came to my apartment and told me he denied it but still gave his insurance information.\n\nThe police told me that I need to file my own report online and enter the information he gave me. So I filed a report and a claim with my insurance. Unfortunately we both have Geico, not sure what will happen.\n\nMy fiancee said I took it too far and potentially put us in danger since he might know where we live and what car we drive. I figured it would teach this guy and potentially bring it to the complex's attention that the spaces are too close. I also called them to let them know. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - they damaged your partner's car and should be held accountable. If any funny business occurs after this, there will be the police report that you can refer back to, and the police can get the contact details from the insurer, right? ######"}
{"prompt":"I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.\n\nI went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.\n\nI returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.\n\nWhen I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door.  I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway.  The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there.  Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.\n\nAfter a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe.  He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe.  I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.\n\nI later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - they created this problem by evading service. Had they just said that they used to be person A and now go by person B it all could have been handled without an issue. Transitioning doesn’t give you a legal do-over. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now. \n\nMy mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.\n\nThe money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it. \n\nI have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019. \n\nIn February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.\n\nToday my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.\n\nAITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######","completion":" NTA - they are trying to guilt you. You gave them a lot of notice ... you helped them out for years. Time to focus on you and your children. Congratulations on the new baby! ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is bisexual. I got no problem with his lifestyle. Before you want to burn me i'm a bisexual male also. But when my son is online with his friends as a joke or a gesture. He makes a slurping noice. I mean i'm not stupid. I know what it insinuates. As his dad it just creeps me out. I told him if anyone of my other kids did it. I would say the same thing. I asked him nicely. I just said hey umm don't you think that would make me a tad uncomfortable? I respect he lives here at home and helps us out. ######","completion":" NTA - There’s only so much a person can put up with before it starts to annoy them. And it seems like this is one of those things. There’s no issue with asking your son to stop with the sexual noises, you’re his dad after all and I’m pretty sure you don’t need those type of noises or images in your head. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m cis but some people around me insist I’m trans. AITA for being mad?\n\nI’m a cisgender woman, I’m a lesbian and have a pretty butch look (short hair, tall, broad-shouldered) but I solidly identify as female. Repeatedly throughout my life, I have been told by multiple people that I may be trans or am in denial about it, and it has gotten extremely frustrating for me because it has gotten to a pretty far point where I’m nearly living my life as a male even though I’m not male and I don’t want to be. In my group home when I was around 14 I was called by a male name instead of my female name assigned at birth, and was told by multiple peers (including trans friends) that I was trans like them. I know they didn’t mean any harm, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, because I’m not male and being misgendered all the time made me start questioning my identity even though previously I had no issue with it. I came out to my mom a couple years ago and she told me she thought I was trans and not gay. My mom told me she believes I have the spirit of a boy and I may be confused (she’s both homophobic and transphobic, so I’m not sure why she would care either, but I think it would be easier for her to accept that I am trans rather than having an extremely masculine daughter). \n\nWhen she made a joke about me being male recently, I got angry and told her that she and everyone else who’s said the same thing is misrepresenting who I am. We got in a fight about it and I argued that I want her to stop talking about it and she explained that she believes butch lesbian and trans are the same thing, and I’m just trying to be a boy. I’m not sure if she misunderstands or if she’s saying that to spite me. I’ve been sort of afraid to say anything back to these people because I don’t want to come off as transphobic and I acknowledge I should’ve set boundaries at the beginning.  AITA for getting mad at her comments? ######","completion":" NTA - There's a term out there, \"gender policing.\"  I believe that's what you're looking for.  Gender policing can be particularly bad for women that don't conform to people's stereotypes of that femininity is.  I'm not lesbian myself nor am I trans.  However, as a child I preferred so-called \"boys\" clothes, had mostly male friends, did some hobbies that had more boys than girls, etc.  I was known as a tomboy. As a result, I got called certain slurs in middle school & also had people accusing of being lesbian, etc.  I had an adult in my family tell me I would be a bad mom someday if I had kids, based on my supposedly masculine behavior.  I had an elder say my chosen profession as a young adult was \"men's work.\" What I'm saying is your experience is far from unique in this regard.  When people don't think you fit in a box, they can be awful.  You're female and they can deal with that fact. ######"}
{"prompt":"Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney. \n\nI have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces. \n\nI then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures  I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.\n\nHere is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy.  She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.\n\nEnglish is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ######","completion":" NTA - There are some serious double standards going on in your household. It shouldn't be ok for either of you to invade each other's privacy and steal lego pieces and you went to your mom first to try to resolve the situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"Everything I ever heard out of this woman was about the \"Boren Clan\" and how she's a \"Proud Boren.\" Forget that she got married and took her husband's name, and her kids have the husband's name. It's all about the Boren clan.\n\nSo, when I had my kid, all I heard from her was this and that trait are from the \"Boren Clan.\" It wasn't \"Oh, look, THIS, just like dad\" or \"THIS, just like mom.\" It was \"THIS, just like a Boren. The baby is a true BOREN.\" Anything that was not \"Boren\" she was confused on, because \"That's not on my side.\" She would literally say \"That's strange. I've never seen a Boren with freckles. Where could they have gotten that from?\" My response of \"Some in my side of the family have freckles,\" was met with \"Really? That is weird. Boren's don't have freckles.\" I don't know if she's playing stupid or is genuinely confused on how genes work.\n\nThis has been going on for years and I kind of lost it this weekend. I essentially told her last time I checked, a child has two sets of genes: one from the mother and one from the father. But if she wanted to throw the grandparents, then there would be 4 sets of genes fighting for dominance. But at the end of the day the genes that matter are SO and MINE, and she needs to stop making it sound like my genes don't exist.\n\nMy SO found out and said I was mean in my response. But was I? Was I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - The woman is ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"(Edit: this is a throwaway and I’m on mobile!)\n\nI think the waiter is the butthole in this situation, but you be the judge. This happened last year but I’m still salty.\n\nI took my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday weekend last year and had a whole itinerary planned to make him feel special and celebrated. For his birthday dinner (on his actual birthday) I booked a dinner at the nicest restaurant on the island at the fanciest hotel on the island overlooking the beach. It rhymes with the floor reasons. \n\nThe restaurant was aware it was his birthday and upon being seated the waiter asked “happy birthday! Would you like a glass of celebratory champagne?”\nWe were like aw yes we absolutely would \nHe was like “wonderful is [some brand I wasn’t familiar with] ok?” We said sure sounds fine (spoiler: it was not fine)\n\nWaiter returns with a glass for each of us and we enjoy them, order some cocktails and a truly impressive spread of appetizers and entrees, and settle in to a lovely birthday dinner. My boyfriend has a great time, I’m sitting smug at being such a great girlfriend. Then the bill arrives. \n\nThe celebratory glasses of champagne were $70 each! I knew this was going to be an expensive dinner and was happy to splurge, but assumed the “celebratory” meant complimentary, especially since there was no complimentary dessert or anything offered for his literal birthday. Because I didn’t want to sour the mood I paid it but left only a 15% tip (instead of my usual 20%+). \n\nI am still pretty upset and want to leave a review for the place as everything else was wonderful and this really put a damper on the evening. AITA for being upset I had to pay ~$200 for two glasses of “celebratory” champagne (inc tax+tip)? WIBTA if I left a review of this experience? \n\nSome friends think it’s not that unusual I’m am being petty and cheap but I disagree. ######","completion":" Nta - the way that was phrased made it very misleading and the price per glass underscores the issue. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was talking to my 7 year old yesterday when she told me that she fell down a flight of stairs last week. She was not hurt however, because if that were the case I would have known and I did not know about it til she told me.\n\n\nI gave her teacher a call and she conformed that it was true. According to the teacher daughter she was trying to sneak upstairs during break time and was caught by a school prefect. She tried to run but lost her balance and fell down a flight of stairs. \n\n\nThe prefect went to a teacher who found my daughter crying at the bottom of the stairs. She was taken to the school nurse and was found to be completely fine, not hurt in any way. The teachers then decided that it wasn't an issue and this incident went as if it never happened. \n\n\nI was livid. The fact that my child fell down a flight of stairs, which could normally end up badly, was hidden from me just because she was miraculously unhurt? I don't know, this sounds wrong in so many ways. I should have the right to know if anything happened to my child in school out of the ordinary.\n\n\nI posted this incident on social media while demanding an explanation from the school. I was told by the school  that they hope that I could put it down because I am giving my daugher unnecessary attention. At the end of the day she was not hurt and I should just move on like she did. True to that, my daughter seems to be over it and doesn't seems to care. Should I drop this? Am I being the selfish AH for blowing this up? ######","completion":" NTA - the school is asking you to take it down because you're giving the **school** attention in a negative light.  That said, I don't think posting on social media is the most effective way of dealing with this.  You should be trying to organize a meeting with the head teacher, and if they won't do anything about it, the school superintendent.\n\nIt's completely ridiculous to not tell you that that happened.  Brain injuries are notorious for lying low for a while before suddenly becoming very serious.  If there's any possibility that they've bonked their head, they need to be monitored for signs of brain injury for at least a day, even if they seem fine straight after the incident. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tonight I ordered in food from DD. \n\nMy building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box. \n\n\nAbout 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.\n\n\nGetting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.\n\n\nTypcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left. \nHonestly I do not know if it removes \nthe tip, which was not my intent. \n\n\nIt's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######","completion":" NTA - the person who is listed as your driver in the app is the person who is registered with the company and who should be handling all orders\/communication. The driver should get in trouble honestly, no you’re not TA. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nNew here, sorry if I am not doing this the right way. I am arguing with my bf because I threw his socks away. Here is a bit of back story...He has a problem with calling or texting me when he is going to be late coming home. I honestly don't care what he is doing, just if he is gonna be late coming home I just want him to call me quick or shoot me a text letting me know so I'm not worried. He thinks I am trying to control him and be his mother so we always argue about I am not his mother I can't tell him what to do blah blah. Anyway, he also has a habit of being a slob and leaving his things all over for me to pick up..you know the one who isn't his mother..he doesn't get the irony there..lol. So a few days ago he left his socks on the living room floor. I cleaned the rest of the house and everything in the living room for 3 days and left those socks where they lay. On the 4th day I threw them away. Bf comes home and notices that the socks are picked up and says, \"It's about time, didn't think you saw them\" I replied, \" I did, but since I am not your mother I didn't think it was my job to pick up after you. After they sat on the floor for 3 days I didn't think you wanted them so I threw them in the trash.\" Now he is pissed off, yelling about his socks and I'm being childish for throwing them away..he might be right there but I don't think I am being an asshole...just tired of picking up after a grown up adult man.\n\nWas I wrong to throw them away? Am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - the part where he pointed out that you had finally picked up his socks after 4 days, is where he absolutely deserved to have them thrown away. \n\nHe expects you to clean up after him like a maid, which is disgusting. Tell him that this will be happening to his stuff in the future, unless he starts acting like an adult. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !\n\nFast forward to choosing vacation in a department I was recently promoted to. We are a small team so vacation time can be tricky, ideally there would be no overlap of people taking time off. My manager is of the mindset that as adults we can figure conflicts out ourselves.\n\nA coworker and I were requesting the same time off. 4 days of overlap. Me for the music festival, and her for family camping. She has done this camping trip with her kids for the past 6 years so I can appreciate that they all look forward to it. Due to corona virus the festival  was postponed to the same week the following year. So now we know over a year in advance that we will both be requesting the same week again.\n\nSo reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to book the week of the festival even though my coworker wants it ? I can’t exactly be flexible, these tickets were a really lovely gift. ######","completion":" NTA - the only asshole is management, who is abdicating their responsibility to manage a department by asking employees to \"figure out conflicts themselves.\" That's not the way well-run companies work. What if neither employee gives in? Management would have to step in at some point.\n\nPlenty of employers say that two employees can't be out at the same time, when that's rarely the case (employers are just overly cautious). There are some blackout dates employees should be aware of, but other than that, it should be on management to work to ensure their employees can take vacation when they want, especially since it is part of their compensation.  There should be a system in place to request and approve time off to ensure that everyone gets equal access to dates, and although once in a while it won't work out and vacation may have to be denied, it shouldn't be on the employees to \"figure it out.\" Management should make that call, based on a fair system, and take responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range. \n\nAt first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm. \n\nAs of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws. \n\n WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######","completion":" NTA - the noise ordinances are there for this exact reason; to make sure everyone can have some peace and quiet at night. Even if your grandfather and niece and nephew did not live there, you yourself are entitled to a good night's sleep too. However, maybe you should talk to the neighbors before filing a complaint? ######"}
{"prompt":"A girl at my school has some political opinions which are questionable at best. She posts said opinions on her blog. One opinion was particularly egregious, and I took screenshots of her blog in case she would delete it, as she is prone to do. I reposted the screenshots to Facebook after she deleted it. She then caught some flak for the blog because my post reached people who didn't know about her blog. People in the comments were trying to explain it to her, and she posted an apology saying she changed her opinions. But, I decided to keep the post up, and linked to her apology in the comments while removing any mention of her from the title and the rest of the post. She says that I'm causing people to dislike her because I posted it, but I'm saying that she's making other people dislike her because of her opinions. I told her I would delete it after a week. So, AITA for posting her opinions and not taking it down? ######","completion":" NTA - the internet never forgets ######"}
{"prompt":"I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######","completion":" NTA - The fact that she cannot draw it herself shows that your art has value. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is a gamer through and through. Right now his game of choice is Call of Duty: Whatever version is out right now. He games 3-4 nights out of the week. \n\nI... am not a gamer. Mostly, it makes my eyes water and I run around aimlessly. Case and point: I button-mashed my way through Tekkan as a child, and only grinded in Tony Hawk Pro-Skater. I enjoyed the way I played the game, but have never played a game to beat it.\n\nFor my birthday this year my husband bought me the game Animal Crossing: New Horizon and I have really been enjoying it. If you play, you know that the multi-player capabilities of this game are lacking, and you can only have one island per switch. I created my island, named it, and invited my husband to create a character to play. \n\nI play two nights a week (maybe), but that is all I want to play. My husband has started playing the switch during the day and **I feel** has taken over my island. I was moving at my own pace, but he has started playing as me and hits every milestone for me. I was ACTUALLY playing this game, just in the mosey-about way I enjoy. I have alluded to him taking over my island and flat out asked him to stop playing, because he plays video games all the time, and this is the first video game that I have had interest in since Tekkan. He is still playing it daily. I know he wants us to have a game together, but I feel like my island doesn't even feel like what I wanted at all. \n\nAITA? Should I embrace his want to connect via videogames? But how do I overcome his need to complete every part of the game obsessively? ######","completion":" NTA - the fact he took over your profile in AC when he has his own is what bothers me the most about this. If you've talked to him about this and he's still not respecting boundaries, delete your island. Meh maybe that's petty. If he's not being respectful, though, that's an issue. Either way, you're NTA. ######"}
{"prompt":"(On mobile so sorry for bad formatting)\n\nSo I live in NY and everyday at 7pm lots of people clap and cheer in celebration for the healthcare and medical workers that are out there fighting against COVID-19. \n\nI thought it was cool for the first few days but it’s been months now and every time they start cheering I just close the window because it gets loud and annoying. \n\nMy SO thinks it’s disrespectful and says I’m being ungrateful and that I should be taking part in the cheering. \n\nMy SO’s mom is a nurse and he’s offended every time I close the window and thinks I’m being an asshole.\n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - the cheering is a sweet gesture, but it's about as useful as 'thoughts and prayers'. ######"}
{"prompt":"My younger sister is expecting a baby girl despite the fact she and her husband have struggled with finances since 2009, when they got married. Anyway, she texted me saying that she needed a loan of $200 for something related to the unborn baby girl, and I, being a teacher on summer vacation, cannot afford that. My boyfriend is a surgeon, but I don't want to rely on him financially for something like this. \n\nWhen I turned her down, she got really mad and was like \"Okay, so you don't care about your niece then. I guess you do really want us to put her up for adoption.\" I was like \"Well...sorry, but I have to look out for myself first.\" She hung up on me angrily, and then after that, my mom and siblings all got mad at me. \n\nI questioned why THEY didn't help her out financially, and they said \n\"Oh we contributed too, and we thought you'd be willing to help them out.\" Like do they not understand I am a TEACHER? I don't make that much and just spent a ton of money on gifts for my boyfriend's daughter. AITA in this situation? ######","completion":" NTA - The baby's not even born yet and they're already asking for money. Reality's going to hit them hard. ######"}
{"prompt":"this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food. \n\nso i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.\n\nwhen the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off \"she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!\". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.\n\nlike.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?\n\naita for skipping the line? ######","completion":" NTA - that’s literally what the app is for ######"}
{"prompt":"I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######","completion":" NTA - that’s incredibly overbearing, unnecessary, and controlling. Ew. You should absolutely be doing it yourself. There’s involved, and there’s way the hell too over involved. He’s falling into the latter category. This is absolutely something to stand firm on. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousins \"James\" and \"Lydia\" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest \"Grace\" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family. \n\nWhen we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole \"Wow, you're so big!\" thing and asked Lydia, \"Is she walking yet?\" Lydia very harshly snapped, \"No. But nothing is wrong with her.\" Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was \"Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less.\" That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.\n\nI recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - that was a pretty harsh overreaction to being asked if her kid walks yet. That’s a pretty standard question about most babies between 9 months and when they’re obviously walking. It sounds like she’s aware there’s an issue and is in denial. Either refusing proper medical care or refusing to disclose to family,  not sure which. ######"}
{"prompt":"Some context: I (33F) am currently hosting my pregnant sister (29F) and niece at my house. My sister is almost 8 months along, and her husband works in a healthcare field, so we decided it would be safer for her to stay with me for the time being. \n\nMy sister is known for having a questionable taste in names. She named  my five year old niece Isis, and she was planning to give the new baby and equally bad name. I won’t put it here for privacy reasons, but think along the lines of “Divine Nova” or “Quartz.” Just ridiculous.\n\nWe were chilling last night after the kids went to bed, and that’s when she told me the name. I reminded her how hurt she always is when people comment on Isis’ name, and how even my niece has picked up on it (she goes by another name at kindergarten). I talked to her about how kids with bad names can suffer in the labor market. She still wasn’t budging, so I told her I wouldn’t make a name plaque for baby if she chose that name. For my nieces and nephews, I usually wood burn a nice plaque with the name and DOB, and it becomes a treasure as they get older. I love doing it, and I think my sister was shocked. She said if I felt that strongly about the name, she’d rethink it.\n\nAITA? I feel a bit bad for holding a gift over her head, but I just want to protect my niece-to-be from having to answer to a horrible name. My husband (who wasn’t there) thinks I went to far and is siding with my sister. ######","completion":" NTA - That said, Isis is a perfectly normal and beautiful name and not in the vicinity of something like Divine Nova. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.\n\nI asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.\n\nSomehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it. \n\nWas I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######","completion":" NTA - that is not pulling the race card. That’s a “I have a prior appointment that I can’t reschedule”. Your friends suck if they think otherwise.\n\nEdit- spelling ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so basically my girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been dating for just over 4 months it’s been pretty good, little to no arguments about anything.\n\nShe came over last Thursday and said she had a gift for me and one for herself too, I thought this was strange as it’s not near any of our birthdays or anything. She handed a box and told me to open it, inside was a baby camera, immediately my heart started racing as I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, but to my surprise she wasn’t.\n\nShe told me she wants me to put it in my living room so “we can always see each other even when we’re not together” because it is wifi enabled through an app you can get up on your phone.\n\nI spun some story to avoid conflict as she was only going to be at my house for the next hour or so, I told her I was too afraid of hackers getting into it and watching me, but I don’t actually want to be seen at all times by my girlfriend. She called that bluff and got angry with me in which I asked her to leave, she did so in tears.\n\nPlease note she doesn’t use reddit and this isn’t a throwaway but I am not cheating and I wouldn’t so that’s not why I’m opting out of it. \n\nI told her I needed a few days to myself and haven’t seen her since (it’s Monday now) I understand we both have feelings but i don’t know if I disregarded hers too much\n\nAITA for not wanting to put a baby monitor in my house? ######","completion":" NTA - That is creepy, controlling, and SCREAMS insecure. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that. \n\nIt’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ######","completion":" NTA - that cat belongs to someone else. \n\nIf it were ownerless or stray, there are channels to go through, such as taking it to an animal shelter before confirming no-one will claim it - then you could look into adopting it. \n\nWhat your girlfriend is doing is theft. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA?\nTLDR; husband can't stand tattoos and won’t let me get one- I’m about to just do it- but he might just break over it. \n\nHi, I’m F25 and my husband M25 have a good marriage, we’ve had normal marriage problems but I’d like to think we did a good job resolving them through good communication and positive change. (Four years)\n\nEvery few months though, we’ve been having the same fight. I want my first tattoo and he doesn't want me to get one at all. The solution here isn’t as easy as “ f him, be a free independent woman, it’s your body, ect”. \n\n1st problem is one of the positive changes in our marriage is me making an effort to make decisions together instead of alone. (ITA story below)\n2nd problem is we are both children from strict Mormon backgrounds- though we aren’t Mormon anymore- a lot of his issue is he was made to believe people with tattoos are trashy, immature and criminals.\n\nI’ve tried to compromise. On his end I can’t get one till I’m 30 (um, ok.. dad?). On my end, it’s got to be something small and where people can’t notice it easily. He thinks if I wait till 30 I won’t want one anymore because mature new moms don’t get first tattoos.\n\nI’m about ready to just do what I want where I want, but I’m also not ready to put a rift in our marriage again. AITA if I get one?\n\nTattoo: just a black, thin line contour of a violet, it’s stem and 1-3 leaves on the end behind my ankle bone.\n\nITA story: I really wanted a dog he never did- he told me no but told me I could still do it- but it was a feeling of betrayal when I chose to get a puppy. I admit it was selfish, but I wish it didn’t make him feel like I didn’t love him\/respect him. He resented me for three months even when he gained real love for that dog after one. ######","completion":" NTA - tattoos do not make people trashy or a criminal \n\nI know people a lot older than 30 with tattoos and who are still getting them \n\nMaybe not do it behind his back, but simply tell him that while you respect his beliefs, it is your body and you want a tattoo and plan to get one \n\nHe is entitled to his belief, but your entitled to have a tattoo if it’s what you want ######"}
{"prompt":"So my little brother is 14yo and going to be a freshman next year in HS, I am 17 and I graduate this year.  I don't want to sound too mean but he's pretty......large and very very out of shape.  I played football and track so after middle school I have always been in really good shape.  My brother recently asked me if I could help him lose weight and get in shape cause he wants to play football, I warned him that I would be just as hard as a coach and he said he's ready for that.  \n\nThere is this grassy hill area near my house where I use to train all the time, and I thought that would be perfect to coach him up there.   I wouldn't say I go like military drill instructor hard but it is pretty hard, but in a way to hype him up.  Like lets say he's getting tired of running I say stuff like \"come on, you fucking got this, you got half a mile left.\"  Or if he struggles with the pushups I get right down there with him and say stuff like \"you got 5 fucking more you just did 30 don't give up now, I wont let you quit.\"  Nothing really demeaning other than sometimes telling him that he doesn't want to go back to being fat.  \n\nMy dad was watching me coach him and he said that I'm \"being too hard on him\" and that I need to loosen up.  My brother hasn't said anything negative from what I've doing and in the past month we've been doing this he was at 250 and he's down to 210.  Still a ways to go but its something and I won't lie, it feels good to know I helped him lose 40 pounds already.  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - talk to your brother about it, let him know your dad brought it up to him. You clearly care about him very much and aren’t demeaning really.... I would maybe stay away from saying stuff like “you don’t want to go back to being fat!”, and focus more on his health and his progress. “Look how far you’ve come” gets the same message across. Saying “fuck” in a motivational sense is obviously encouraging for him, and this whole thing seems to be a bonding experience on top of it all. Daddy needs to chill, but yeah, chat with your bro. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory:\n\nMy (16F) dad and mom (both 37F&amp;40M) got a divorce two years ago because my father cheated on my mother, her (the mistress) and my dad got married two months after my parents got a divorce.\n\nMy parents have joint custody of me and my siblings (17M &amp; 16M (my twin brother), we’re all close and decided we wanted to visit our father, his wife and her kids (16&amp;15F, the father passed) every two weeks since it was either that or we’d have to spend our holidays with them (mother’s orders) which we all didn’t want.\n\nI don’t like the two teenage girls and neither do my brothers, they’ve called us the n word multiple times (our dad is Italian while our mom is black, my stepsisters&amp;stepmom are white), usually stay out late, smoke etc.\n\nStory:\n\nWe were at my dad’s house, my brother (twin) and I were playing video games in the living room, my stepsister (16) wanted to watch tv even though she has a tv in her room, we told her to give us half an hour since we hadn’t been playing for long, my stepsister called us both ‘ghetto n——‘ out of nowhere and my stepmother came downstairs to ask what happened.\n\nI explained to her what happened and she told me “Anna (random name), I’ve talked to you about this, stop being weak.”\n\nI asked her if my stepsister would be getting a consequence and she told me no because I was being weak, then added “for a black girl”.\n\nI responded by saying, “I’m weak yet you don’t have enough respect for yourself to leave a man who forgot to tell you he had a wife and kids.” since she wasn’t aware my father had a family while he was cheating with her.\n\nShe went ballistic and my brother (17) who had just woken up had to hold her back, I feel kind of guilty but I also don’t.\n\nNow I’m waiting for my dad to get home.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - stop going over there. If your dad wants to see you it can be a place where you aren’t getting racially abused. ######"}
{"prompt":"My great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring has been in our family for generations and is traditionally given to the oldest son to propose to his future wife with. Per that tradition the ring should go to my older brother Jake, who is gay and wants to propose to his partner of four years, Ben. However my mom refused and said that the ring should go to my younger brother Mike instead because Ben is not a woman and gay marriage is not legal in our country. She suggested having another ring made for Ben using some of the other jewelry that belonged to my grandmother. \n\nI’m the middle child and I’m female so the ring won’t go to me either way, (not that I want it because I’m not a fan of the vintage look) and I’ve tried to stay out of the discussion. Jake asked me to help him convince our mom that she’s being homophobic and she should give the ring to Jake to propose to Ben with in accordance to the family tradition. When I told him that I don’t really want to get involved in their argument, he accused me of being homophobic. \n\nFor the record, I’m fine with Jake’s sexual orientation and I fully accept Ben as his partner. I just don’t want to back anyone because I think they both have a point and I’m not even sure who’s ‘more’ right. My parents are very traditional but they’ve done their best to accept Jake and Ben. We invite Ben to all of our family’s events, my mom tries to bond with him by teaching him how to cook Jake’s favorite foods growing up, and my dad gifted Ben with a gold necklace engraved with Jake’s name on his last birthday. \n\nAm I the asshole for wanting to stay out of this instead of taking Jake's side? ######","completion":" NTA - stay out of this one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ######","completion":" NTA - sounds like your dad is a homophobe, at least if your brother does grow up to be gay he’ll know he can always count on you, you’ll likely be the only one of them that knows. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (27F) work full-time and my husband (28M) is a stay at home partner. That means I'm the breadwinner in our relationship, but that's fine. It's a role we're both comfortable with me in and I hate, hate, **hate** chores anyway.  \nRecently my father-in-law has been making me uncomfortable with his comments. FIL has a habit of making 'jokes' about things my boyfriend has done around the house. He will often comment on my SO's FB posts and pictures with comments like 'another day sweeping the floors?' and calling him a 'domesticated maid'.  \nWe recently had them over for dinner and my husband did an amazing job prepping the house and slow cooking the food. I didn't help out at all, since I was at work all day and I arrived home to him having done everything.  \nWhen my FIL found out my husband did the cooking, he straight out asked why I hadn't helped. When I told him I'd been at work, he told me that he would never let his wife, my SO's mother, host a dinner party entirely by herself and would at least prepare a side. The big difference between my FIL\/MIL and me\/my SO is that his parents both worked full time, which isn't our situation. My FIL looked at my SO and told him 'you know you don't have to live like this'.  \nHere's where I might be TA. I'd had enough and snapped at him that our situations were very different. And I said that I actually didn't appreciate his attitude to my husband's lifestyle and he had no right to criticise either of us when we're both happy in our choices.  \nAs you can expect, it didn't go well. My in-laws left early and things have been weird since. My husband says that he wishes I'd hadn't spoken up and next time to let him deal with it. But I struggle to agree since he always lets his father walk all over him and sometimes his father is criticising me too.\n\nAITA for standing up for me and my husband against my father-in-law? ######","completion":" NTA - Sounds like you made a reasonably measured response to some really terrible comments by your FIL.  You're NTA for standing up for a completely normal lifestyle against some offensive bigotry.\n\nIt may be helpful to talk to your husband more about this if it's bothering you.  It's absolutely appropriate for him to ask to be the one to deal with his parents.  Moving forward it sounds like it would be best for him to do that, but he also needs to actually do it if this keeps coming up and is an issue for you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ll try to keep this short and simple. I have 2 kids, 5 grandkids. \n\n\nCarlie—has 2 kids, lives with me and has always lived close by. I’m very involved in my grandkids lives. I’ve always been the main childcare provider and as stated above, they live with me for the time being so I’m around them a lot.\n\n\nMeg—has 3 kids and has lived in another state since she went away to college 10 years ago. I see her and my grandkids roughly 3-4x a year. \n\n\nFor Easter I bought Carlie’s kids window paint and let them paint on the house and car windows. I also made bunny shaped pancakes.\n\n\nFor Meg’s kids I sent gifts—paw patrol figurine set, Jojo siwa craft set, and a lego set(1 gift for each kid) + a bubble gun for each kid + extra sand for their new sandbox. \n\n\n\nCarlie saw that I sent all this stuff to Meg’s kids(via Facebook) and started making passive aggressive comments about how her kids didn’t even get actual toys from me for Easter but my other grandkids did.\n\n\nIt later escalated to her saying that I am spoiling my other grandkids to punish her kids because they live with me(?? Not true at all). I have my reasons for gifting them so much—1) I buy random stuff for Carlie’s kids consistently throughout the year, when they go to the store with me or I happen to see something they’d like 2) I had plans to go visit Meg’s kids for spring break and would’ve bought them stuff then but that got canceled ######","completion":" NTA - sounds like you are a loving grandmother to all the children, just in different ways. That is quite understandable given the circumstances. ######"}
{"prompt":"So one of my hobbies is to go garage saleing and buy things to then resell on eBay. I stumble upon a garage sale. At first all I see is baby stuff\/kids clothes. I don't go buy it at first. After going to all the sales on that street I decide to go to it. I look around and don't see that much. Then I stumble upon some cassettes. I pick a few out (around 4 for those curious 1 Rush, 2 Styx, and 1 Yes cassette these would be for me). I go to checkout and she tells me that they are free and asked if they were all free. She said yes and I was surprised and went back to look to see if there was anymore. I decide to take them all since there was around 50 of them and didn't buy anything. Some of the other ones were Aerosmith, Disney songs, Eric Clapton, and many more. I get home and my parents bitched at me saying that I should have bought something instead of taking all the free things. AITA for taking all the free stuff at a garage sale without buying anything? ######","completion":" NTA - Sounds like the owner just wanted to get rid of them. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I'll try to keep this short, but chances are, it wont be. I(F38 almost 39) recently started talking to someone I met through work. Hes 33 and recently out of a relationship.  We've only been facebook chatting because of the shutdown, plus he no longer works for the same employer as me. I wont go see him because I work at a place thats had cases, plus i live with an older relative who wouldnt fare very well if she were to get this. \n\nSo, I recently noticed he talks about sex, a lot. Pretty much from our first conversation. At first, it didnt really bother me, although I would change the subject if it went on too long. Yesterday, we were talking about drinking. I was telling him some of the issues I'd seen crop up in my family. Telling him that's why I dont drink. I had just finished sharing a very personal story, when he told me\" I'd make you drink my cum\" \n\nI was pretty disgusted. I mean, im down for some naughty talk, dont get me wrong. But the story I had just told him definitely was not one that should have prompted him to say that. I responded with\" I'm trying to have a serious conversation right now\" Which thankfully, at the time, caused him to stop for the moment. Several minutes later, he was once again trying to steer the conversation that way, and i just wasnt having it. I told him to stop, and he called me a frigid bitch. Told me\"well since you wont come over here and i cant come there what else can i do\" \n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Sounds like he just wants you for sex, plus he's coming off a little creepy. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.\n\nI am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.\n\nShe told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.\n\nShe whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from \"eating dry toast this morning\" and a headache \"for eating chocolate\"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.\n\nI know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.\n\nReddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######","completion":" NTA - Sorry your mom is not acting like a responsible adult right now. Report her - people's lives, including hers, could be at stake. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father (52M) has been divorced from my mother for 11 years now. Ever since then he has been in a countless number of meaningless relationships that never go anywhere despite him thinking they will.\n\nMy father has a type. He likes younger women. His last 3 girlfriends were all under 30 and his most recent ex girlfriend was 25 years old (just a year older then me). My father loves to complain about how he doesn't understand what he is doing wrong. One of the things might be the huge age gap. Obviously with girlfriends pretty much half his age priorities are usually very different and most of his relationships end because of this.\n\nEver since the divorce he's been in a endless cycle of falling in love with a woman much younger then him and then breaking up wich always leaves him very depressed until he finds another young girlfriend.\n\nYesterday, me and my brother's were over at his house and he was going over one of his rants about how he doesn't know what he is doing wrong and he thinks he's just very unlucky. I suggested to him that he may want to find a girlfriend closer to his age so they can be at the same stage in life and their priorities and goals can be  more similar. This got him very uncomfortable and for the rest of the night he didn't say another word. I think I said what was best for him to hear. AITA ? ######","completion":" NTA - somtimes people just need the cold truth ######"}
{"prompt":"TLDR: Just had a miscarriage. Partner left me the morning after to go mushroom picking. Said it was my fault that I hadn’t asked him to stay. Now, he wants to go with me for the follow-up clinical visit. AITA for not wanting him to be involved in the follow-up visits.\n\n\nI just had a miscarriage.  \n\nThankfully I am medically fine based on my clinical visits. I have one follow-up visit to ensure that there are no complications. My partner was there during the 1st visit that’s when I found out that it was a miscarriage. There were associated pains physically on the day it happened and I honestly thought it was just post-workout pain because I have been playing badminton the day before. All in all it was a shocking and tiring day physically and mentally and I was glad he was there all throughout. \n\nWhat I couldn’t wrap my head around was that the very next morning he told me that he wants to go mushroom picking with people from his work because he said “ it could be fun”. He left me, to go do that and when I told him I would have appreciated if he was there because he was texting me while he was out. He told me, I should have asked for it. Followed by a text, “Btw, I would like to hangout with you tonight though”.\n\nIt was just illuminating moment for me how his actions made me realize that I couldn’t be with someone who would go mushroom picking the morning after I had a miscarriage. I left his place. He called me 3 times and texted me that he wants to be there during the last follow up visit “because it would mean a lot to him”. But I don’t want him involved anymore.\n\nAITA for not wanting to involve him for the visit (and possible in my life) because it was overwhelming with the miscarriage and I don’t want to deal with the fact that he choose me over mushrooms and that he implied that it was my fault because I didn’t ask for him to stay. \n\n(If what he wants is peace of mind that the miscarriage has no complications, he could go ask the mushrooms.) ######","completion":" NTA - some people are defending his actions by pointing out that he may have needed the normalcy after a traumatic event...which is all well and good, *if he had explicitly communicated that* because if he had said “OP, I know you are hurting and I am too, *I don’t want to leave you alone unless you’re okay with it*, but it would help me to do a normal activity, *how would you feel* about me doing [X]” it would’ve given you the opportunity to say “no, I really need you here” which you otherwise shouldn’t have had to assume you would need to explicitly say in a situation like this. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we both agreed we were child free. I told him up front if I got pregnant I would have an abortion. He said that was fine.\n\nWell a month ago I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and that I was going to get an abortion. He freaked out and said that I was killing his kid and couldn’t.\n\nWe fought about it for a week and then I just went anyway. He moved out and said he was going to divorce me. I haven’t heard from him since.\n\nI’m pretty fucking pissed off, since we agreed we were child free and now he’s going back on it and freaking out. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Some husbands seem to think that their wife is just 'exaggerating' when they lay out these rules like they are some sort of angsty child. They just expect them to change their mind. If he's really willing to divorce over something that he promised then you're better off without him ######"}
{"prompt":"This issue has been bothering me for about a week and now I need to know if I truly am the asshole.\nI have an illness called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which causes extreme pain in my joints and hypermobility. My joints are so bad that even walking up and down stairs causes extreme pain, so standing is even worse. I’m also immune compromised which will be important later.\nI had to go to the doctor because I was having issues with my medication to a point where it was having an affect on my physical well being. Now the waiting room was full because everyone and their mother thinks when they cough it’s the virus where I am but I was lucky to find a seat in a section that is reserved for people with disabilities which I am. Maybe 5 minutes after I sit down and fix my mask, an older woman walks in.\nThe older woman looked at me, walked over, and demands I stand up and let her sit down. I say “no. Please get 6 feet away from me. I’m allowed to sit here.” And that’s when she goes into a tirade for not telling an old, extremely sick woman sit down and how it’s not fun to fake a disability. (You can’t see my disability unless I stood up.) I got called in but the woman in the waiting room with their children gave  me nasty looks for it.\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Some disabilities are a lot less obvious than others, the elderly woman shouldn't expect to be entitled to anything, and you shouldn't have to explain your disability to anyone, it's non of their business. ######"}
{"prompt":"He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am. \n\nHere's how that conversation went:\n\nMe: What time does Jim leave tomorrow? \n\nBf: 6:45. \n\nMe: WOW that's early. \n\nBf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5. \n\nMe: What? Me? What are you talking about?\n\nBf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him. \n\nI had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off. \n\nI really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - So who is dropping Jim to the airport? ######"}
{"prompt":"Recently broke up with my gf because she was super abusive. Her sister is also abusive towards her fiancé and it comes from their abusive dad. A couple days after we broke up, the sisters fiancé texted me and asked what happened. I told him how abusive my ex was and I gave him examples of why. Less than a week later, his engagement was called off suddenly for unknown reasons. He then told me he realized that he was in the same shoes as me and didn’t notice that his relationship was toxic. He said he was happy and thanked me for opening his eyes. \n\nThe rest of the family found out and are blaming me for breaking apart the couple. I’ve been accused of ruining the sisters life. I told them it was the fiancés decision and I’m not responsible. They disagree and accused me of spreading lies to get back at my ex. I don’t feel bad at all but my friends tell me that I should have stayed out of it and that I’m an asshole. \n\nBTW both the sisters and the dad are in denial that they are abusive and manipulative. So they truly believe that I fucked everything up.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - so they think it’s ok to ruin the fiancé’s life instead? All you did was talk about you, not give him advice. Unless I’m misunderstanding or her fiancé said you did more than you actually said to him, sounds like you helped him dodge a huge, basketball-sized bullet. ######"}
{"prompt":" Posting on sisters behalf\n\nMy sister, let's call her Aly, lives in an apartment building with 2 others, Ava, her sister, and Mia, an acquaintance.\n\nThe lease expires in June but since Mia has finished school she has opted to move back with her parents while still paying rent. When Mia left (early-April) she left food in the fridge and freezer and has yet to come back and get them, one of the items left in the freezer were frozen burritos, like the kind you pop in the microwave and shame eat at 2-am. Well, Aly and Ava had a few friends over Thursday night, one of which is a really close friend, the really close friend mindlessly went into the freezer and cooked the last two of Mia's burritos without thinking and ate them. Ava and Aly were unaware that their friend ate Mia's Burritos. Then Friday morning Mia came back to the apartment to collect the rest of her things and noticed the Burritos were gone, she then proceeded to throw out ALL of Ava's and Aly's food from the fridge\/freezer in retaliation.\n\nAly and Ava were obviously disgruntled and confronted Mia who somehow attempted to justify throwing all their food away.\n\nWhos the Asshole ######","completion":" NTA - so mia left in early April, to me early April would mean the first week of April. So she has been gone 2 or 3 weeks then is upset someone ate food she left there. In the middle of a quarantine.\nSo to retaliate she throws food away. That’s beyond asshole that’s bordering on mental illness. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway\n\nMy mom cheated on my dad and went and married  her friend who is single.  I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job. \n\nI live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I  have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is  doing. \n\nI  also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and  helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom.\n\nAnyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is  25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account.\n\nI told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child.\n\nShe emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially   and blocked her on ,y work  email.\n\nI saw my mom on  face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and  how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as  I feel a little bit bad  she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######","completion":" NTA - she’s using classic manipulation tactics to make you feel guilty. You have every right to help your dad in whatever way you please, and every right to distance yourself from your mom. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage. \n\nMy sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work. \n\nThis means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime ) \n\nAt this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza. \n\nShe does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.\n\nAm I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.\n\nAITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######","completion":" NTA - she’s an adult. I totally get not wanting to take medication because a lot of people don’t like to, but it sounds like her cycle is really aggressive and she needs to find out some other options if she won’t take pain medication. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 18, and I’ve always considered myself to be an open-minded parent. She recently began discussing birth control, and even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I wanted to be supportive. I bought her condoms, at her request, and I thought that would be the end of it.\n\n\nA week ago, she asked me if I would make and accompany her to an appointment to discuss birth control options. I was raised in the era where AIDS was still a major threat, and I firmly believe that, unless you are in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms.\n\n\nI was hesitant, but I agreed in the condition that she promised she would also use conforms. She got really defensive and said that that choice wasn’t up to me. I told her that she was right, but that my involvement was my choice, and it was based on this condition. I said she was more than free to get birth control on her own.\n\n\nShe’s been really mad at me because of it. She says that her anxiety is too bad to make an appointment on her own. I still haven’t caved. AITA for staying firm in my decision? ######","completion":" NTA - She’s an adult and needs to learn to do things like go to appointments in her own.  Your request was also 100% reasonable and made with the health of your daughter in mind. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ######","completion":" NTA - She's doing a fine job of ruining her own birthday with her toddler level temper tantrum. Maybe give her some matching socks as a birthday gift to prevent future tantrums? ( I'd normally advise not lending her your shoes anymore but I have a feeling that will just lead to more sulking, yelling and blaming) ######"}
{"prompt":"So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse. \nSo this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up. \nWell this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week. \nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - she was in the wrong and now they’re resorting to essentially bully you. Make a complaint to Human Resources, people like her should not be in that profession if they can’t be professional ######"}
{"prompt":"So, a few weeks ago me and my husband found out we were expecting, super excited. Because of the industry I work in, I wanted to tell my foreman ASAP, even though I was still VERY early (around 3\/4 weeks). The problem was, my FIL works in the same industry as me and my husband (construction), so we figured we’d just tell our parents that weekend to save them from hearing it from someone else. Well, we went to both our parents’ houses and things went very smoothly and everyone was so over joyed, but I did say very sternly, “ I want to hold off on telling everyone else since it is so early, i hope that’s okay”. But I’m not sure my MIL even registered what I said because the next thing we know she’s calling my husband’s grandmother and aunt...\nI said the same thing to my parents and they completely understood and kept their lips sealed, saying they’d wait for me to say “when” basically.  \nWell my husband was telling me the next day that his mom had told his other aunt, and then his cousin, and a couple uncles. \nI was immediately stressed, I’d had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, which is why I wanted to exercise caution to begin with. \nHis mother has made mis-steps like this is the past. I understand it’s not just MY news, but I wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone and their mother. \nI’m finding it hard to move on, and believe me I want to. But at the same time I feel disrespected by my MIL, and want her to realize that. Not sure if that’s even worth doing with her though. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - She was being disrespectful and inconsiderate of you in favor of her own excitement. Something tells me she's going to be a problem throughout the pregnancy too. I'd probably talk with the hubby now about who is going to be in the labor and delivery room with you. Be VERY CLEAR about your boundaries with him and what your expectations are. Also share them with your medical staff. I'd also maybe avoid telling her until after the baby is actually born and you're ready for her to see the baby. She seems like the sort that would invite herself to be front row seat, regardless of your wishes, and who will snatch the baby out of your arms. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - SHE TRIED TO MAKE HER KIDS THROW IT UP? ######"}
{"prompt":"Let me just say... my mother made national news 10 years ago. For one reason. She scammed many military men.\n\nI have 8 half blood siblings. None of us have the same dad. My mother is manipulative and self centered. She scammed 3 grand out of my man. She has threatened my unborn child with protective services already. \n\nI am due in August with our first child. My SO cannot stand my mother. She abandoned all 9 of her own children and now thinks she will get to see mine. I think not. I am agreeing with my SO about this. She has seen my brothers 2 kids but not my sisters 2.\n\nMy mother has proceeded to message all family making it out to be my fault. No one sees what she really does or is like. I have and so has my SO. She has made it so no one in my \"family\" likes him. All because we moved out when we found out he was paying 140 in rent each week... and she was getting assistance paying her rent. She only had to pay 99. My SO was paying for her weed and alcohol for my step dad. \n\nWhen we found out we lost our shit and she threatened to kick us out. Now 2 years later we are happily pregnant with our first child (baby girl) and are blissfully in love. My mother thinks she has rights to my child and is threatening grandparent rights... unfortunately these are a thing here. We believe she is only doing it to try and take baby away someday... please anything helps!\n\nSo I ask... AITA? \n\nIf you want to be able to look her up so you know who I am talking about pm me. It could give you a better look into what I mean here. ######","completion":" NTA - She threatend you already with CPS and GPR. That should be an instant no-conctact. Even if she sees your child, step one toe out of line, and she will follow through anyway and will have a better leg to stand on with GPR. Head over to r\/legaladvice and r\/JUSTNOMIL.\n\nShe has burned every bridge with you that a parent can burn with a child. She abandoned you, abused you, used you, threatened you and now threatens your child. How long must this go on?\n\nEdit: She is a convicted felon, yes? Bye bye GPR. If she had any power, she would have used it on your sister's children already. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.\n\nMy aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a \"cool aunt\", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.\n\nBut as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy\/girl who is black, etc.)\n\nSo during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.\n\nNow, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.\n\nNow, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.\nI felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain. \n\nSo I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - she shouldn't be trivializing your feelings and pain regardless of your age, and the fact that she's a 'patient' has no bearing on the situation. ######"}
{"prompt":"The title probably makes me sound bad, but in my defense I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night and makes me excessively drowsy in the morning (my natural sleep cycle would be something like 5 AM-1 PM). This means when I am actually able to fall asleep early, I get easily frustrated when woken up.\n\nSo here's what happened last night: my girlfriend woke me up at 4 AM to ask me if I had taken out the junk (they pick up on Friday morning here). I told her yes, and she then asked if I had wheeled the cart out, and I said yes again. Then she asked if I had closed the lid on the cart, because she had left it open and they might not take it if it's open and I said yes again. This entire time I was a little cranky since it was 4 AM and I just wanted to go back to sleep but I was keeping my cool and saying yes in a mostly neutral tone. Up until her next question, which was, \"Are you sure?\" \n\nI admit that at this point I lost my cool. It's 4 AM, I am tired, and it's hard for me to sleep at normal times so I want to take advantage of the opportunity when I can to try to maintain a sleep schedule that aligns with more normal hours. So I angrily shouted, \"YES!\" back to her at this point. When that happened, she got very upset, told me I was mean and that I hated her, and began to cry. I felt bad at this point, so I spent nearly the next hour trying to console her in the hope that we could just go back to sleep. Eventually she did, but it took me yet another hour to fall asleep, at around 6 AM. Then neighbors started doing yard work at about 9 AM this morning, so all total I got maybe 5 hours of sleep (when I usually need 9 or 10 to function thanks to my sleep disorder). \n\nShe's still mad at me for yelling at her, but I'm also still mad at her for waking me up to interrogate me over the damn garbage at 4 AM so I want to know who reddit sides with on this one. ######","completion":" NTA - She should care about your ability to get a decent night's sleep especially with your disorder more than the garbage. If she really needed to know, she could have physically checked it herself. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife got very mad at me for buying a cot and sleeping in the dining room because of her gaming late at night. When she gets done with her work she likes to game and that is cool by me, I even do a little bit of gaming myself. The only issue is that I have to go to bed because I have to be up early and she will play survival games that scare the hell out of her and she will jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - she seriously can't understand that it is neither normal nor healthy to wake you up like that? Have you talked to her about it? ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have. \n\nReddit AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA - She says that you won’t like a sandwich that you made for yourself? You know yourself and what you like more than she does, so don’t let her push you around about the sandwich you should eat ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm in HS and I'm enrolled in an AP class. Of course school has been shuttered, and everything is online. After the AP exams, teachers are allowed to go their own path, and for a final project my teacher assigned a project where we had to debate a modern issue from the perspective of two presidents. My partner was this really popular girl, I wouldv'e been amped if I got her as a partner in a real class. But online, I couldn't get a hold of her to coordinate the project. I tried emailing her, she didn't respond. Tried adding her snap and insta, she didn't add me back. So eventually I just did her half of the project and turned it in with her name on it. Anyway apparently the teacher figured out pretty easily that it was all my writing, and asked me why she didn't do any of the work. I told the teacher that she purposely ignored me because she didn't want to do the project. The teacher was sympathetic and gave me a good grade and her a zero. Anyway that was like a week ago, today I get a text from her, and she's frantically asking why she has a zero in her gradebook. I told her what happened and she starts talking about how that wasn't true, how I ruined her grades, she's gonna have to retake the class she's crying and this and that and blah blah blah. Now her whole friend group hates me and a bunch of other people too. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - She got what she deserved. I'd also make it REALLY clear to anyone else that she's a bad person to work with, and the teacher was the one that figured it out. Her friend group is taking her side to save face, but it's possible to share information \/ screen caps to prove your point. Eventually they'll get stuck on a project with her too and learn what a lazy, trifling piece of crap she is.   \n\n\nJust do you and don't mind the haters. You got the truth on your side, and eventually when you all graduate, she'll see just how far that popularity gets her in the real world. Spoiler - not very far. No one is going to give a crap about her when ya'll graduate. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June\/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.\n\nI love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.\n\nI pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats). \n\nI mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day. \n\nMy friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - she got them she can look after them, if she wanted them to be a shared responsibility she should have spoken to you before hand to give you the choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.\n\nI told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.\n\nShe said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.\n\nShe then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).\n\nI told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.\n\nI’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - she got mad becayse you called her out on her manipulative behaviour. \n\nI would also suggest looking at massage shoes\/slippers, theyre great after a long day of work ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for not giving my ex-wife permission to take the kids to Mexico?\n\nMy ex wife told me yesterday that she booked a trip to Mexico with her and our kids for this Sunday July 12th for a week. She expects me to sign off letting the kids go but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the safety of my kids and current state of COVID-19. AITA? Should I let them go?\n\n\nNote: posting this for a friend at his permission who does not have a Reddit account. ######","completion":" NTA - she gives you less than a weeks notice and I agree with COVID it's not the best time. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened before Covid. \n\nTo celebrate a bit of good news, me and a bunch of good buddies and their girlfriends went out to a club where I'm friendly with the staff. \n\nI had booked a table, and I ordered a very nice bottle costing around 2000 euros. I was planning on paying for it of course. Now this is A LOT of money for me. This isn't something I do regularly, if ever. But it was a special occasion, I had had a bit of luck and some excess cash, and I wanted to treat my friends.\n\nThe bottle comes, and I ask if anybody wants to do the honours of opening it. \n\nA friend's girlfriend exitedly asks to open it for an instagram story (sigh...) so I pass her the bottle.\n\nShe opens it, and to my horror, takes a swig directly from the bottle before passing it back to me. I actually saw a thin strand of saliva conecting the bottle to her lip.\n\n\"What the fuck ?\" I shout.\n\nShe just stares at me blankly.\n\nNo I wouldnt call myself a germaphobe, but apart from my GF, theres no way i'm drinking from a bottle that someone else just drank straight out of.\n\n\"You're paying for that bottle\" I say.\n\n\"What ?? No way !!\"\n\n\"I can't drink from that bottle anymore\" And a couple other people nodded along in agreement, grossed out.\n\nAfter arguing with the girl and her BF, I stood up, talked to the bar staff and security, explained to them what happened, and told them that the tab was now the responsability of the couple. Me being friends with the staff, I had that advantage of course, pretty sure anybody else they would've said Not our problem.\n\nThey ended up paying, the girl crying, and the dude wanting to knock me out. They left with the bottle of course. We don't talk anymore.\n\nThe consensus at work is 50\/50, so i'd like reddit's opinion. ######","completion":" NTA - she drank that bottle as if she paid for it. So you just made sure that was the case. ######"}
{"prompt":"This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. \"I don't know.\" That seemed like a red flag to me.\nBut then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######","completion":" NTA - she didn’t even seem too bothered about paying it back so in my opinion she deserves nothing. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account. \n\nSo... Long story short, my best friend got divorced after cheating on her husband. They tried to make it work for months before it came to that, even though she was still in a relationship with the other person, unbeknownst to the ex husband. It was.... A lot. And messy. But I supported her the best I could long distance, not judging her, just wanting her to make the best decision given the circumstances. \n\nFast forward about 6 months from the actual divorce, and well over a year since this all started. BFF is still with the other guy, and her ex has moved on and now has a gf. I remained friends with the ex on social media because I like him. I think he is a good person. Also, she never unfollowed him and continued to like his posts including pictures of him and his new girl. I MADE SURE that she had liked one of their photos before I started liking his stuff again! \n\nLast week he posted a cute picture with her with a #wcw tag and I liked the picture. A day or so ago BFF texted me telling me it really hurt her that I like his posts about his new girlfriend. I was really apologetic but also pointed out that she had been liking their photos together so I didn't think it would bother her.  She accepted my apology but went on to explain that basically he moved on from their relationship too quickly after pretending to work on it, so she was hurt..... Even though she was seeing the other dude all the while?! I was flabbergasted, and now I'm frustrated with the whole situation. \n\nSounds really dumb and it is, but I would like an outsider's opinion. \n\nAm I an asshole for liking his pictures? ######","completion":" NTA - She cannot get mad at you for liking 1 picture, when she even liked one herself! This is very middle school drama. ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby.\n\nThat made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again.\n\nI thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep.\n\nThe plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month. \n\nTwo weeks ago though my  roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore.\n\nAfter that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it.\n\nEarlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do.\n\nI totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######","completion":" NTA - She asked you to move out.  You're not required to ping pong your life over her volatile situations.\n\nThere's nothing wrong with her asking you, it certainly makes sense from where she's coming from, but she had already asked you to move out, you made plans, and then her situation changed.  It's not on you to make sure her and her baby are the first priority.  If you're friends, that's certainly an option you can choose, but you're not TA for following the original plan that she had requested. ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend and I live together, and she’s usually pretty relaxed and easy to get along with. But today she put on a smaller tank top, and some shorts, looked in the mirror and asked if the top made her look fat.\n\nNow my girlfriend isn’t fat per se, but she’s a little chubby. She’s still attractive, but she’s not a 2% body fat supermodel. Neither am I, but I don’t get upset if someone points it out.\n\nI said she looked great, and she said that I didn’t answer the question. I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and then started crying.\n\nAt this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. I gave her a perfectly nice answer in the first place, and she wanted an honest answer.\n\nShe claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - She asked you a question you knew she wouldn't like the answer to so you gave her a safe answer, she wouldn't take it and insisted on the truth, then got mad at you for it. I hate when people pull this kind of stunt. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before I tell you the story I will say I don't have an issue with people believing what they want. With that said, on with the story.\n\nBefore the lockdown I was sitting on my SIL's doorstep talking and a van pulled into our shared driveway (Rural community). A woman got out with a little girl (about 4 or 5). The woman asked if we had thought about what happens after we die. I immediately said, \"Thank you but neither of us is interested in converting.\" I would never speak for my sister in law normally but I knew her thinking on religion and that she has even less filter than I do, so figured since I am the more diplomatic, I should respond.  The woman said ok but then asked if her daughter could read us a verse out of the bible. I had just told her we weren't interested and now I'm irritated but when it comes to kids I have a real soft spot and hate to disappoint them or hurt their feelings if I can avoid it. I looked at my SIL and she just nodded. I said alright and the little girl read the verse (can't remember for the life of me) and thanked her then asked the woman to send her daughter back to the van. Once the little girl got into the van, I looked at the woman and berated her for using her little girl like that and how dare she not accept a no from us after we politely declined. I also told her to never show her face on my property again and to get out (I never swore or threatened her in any way). I then went to the nearest Kingdom hall and told them about it and told them I wanted my address put on the no contact list and that I would tell the next JW that shows up to go away in less than polite wording. \n\nAITA for reacting like that. ######","completion":" NTA - she asked a question and you said you weren't interested.  She chose to ignore that and disrespect your position, using a child to try and manipulate you. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm not a native english speaker and my parents are immigrants. They don't speak the language fluently so whenever I'm talking to them on the phone I have to speak our native language. This however upsets some people, who for some reason feel uncomfortable about this.\n\nIn particular one of my ex-roommates told me that she was irritated by me speaking another language in our house and that it felt like I was shittalking her (which I have never done...I'm not the gossip-y type and I have more important things to talk to with my parents on the phone than my roommate).\n\nI tried avoiding this by going outside whenever I wanted to talk to my parents, but even then sometimes I couldn't go outside (it was raining or similar circumsances) and people outsidereacted even worse to me talking in another language on the phone (one guy insulted me and spit on the floor after hearing me talk on the phone).\n\nWhat am I supposed to do? I just see it as a private conversation with my parents...they're both nice people, just a bit old. ######","completion":" NTA - screw those people. If your roommate is worried that your shit talking them, maybe they need to evaluate why they think that. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nHi Reddit. So last year I had the privilege of turning 18, and I told my mother every year how I didn’t want a party at all and that big parties made me miserable. Our family is Filipino American, so I guess it would’ve been a huge milestone. The months leading to the affair, I would tell mom I just wanna go out to the city and do things for my birthday. I have severe social anxiety, and besides my chronic illnesses and issues being around loud and noisy people makes me feel like garbage. So under the premise of a themed party from my uncle, I walk into a Chinese restaurant in a cosplay outfit already feeling humiliated by the stares only to be surrounded by literally every family member under the sun. I was mortified and cried and ran back into the car because I was both sick and betrayed. My mom threw that party for her, and even said that herself when I began to cry: “please just do this for me!”\n\nIt’s not that I didn’t like the food or the effort put into it, it’s the fact she didn’t listen to me and she still doesn’t see what she did wrong or apologized for it at all. I cried for an hour in the car and my dad refused to take me home. It wasn’t until I reluctantly went back into the restaurant to eat that people finally left. My requests were never heard and apparently she’d be planning this for months, and even just looking back makes me cry in frustration. I know my mother meant well, but I made a scene and I still feel resentful because of it. AITA?... ######","completion":" NTA - said it herself, she didn't throw you an 18th bday party for you. She was selfish and ignored your pleas to forgo a big party. She chose her happiness over yours on YOUR birthday. she's TA and so is your father for going along with it and forcing you to comply ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok people of reddit I need your help. This situation is weighing heavy on my heart and noggin and I’m completely unsure what to do.\n\nI am dog sitting for an owner and it is very clear to me and others that have seen the dog that this dog is being neglected.\n\nHere is the information\/facts I have:\n• dog is only fed once a day because owner is at work and doesn’t want to come home to accidents\n• dog has no toys, bed, cage or dog treats\n• dog’s spine, ribs and hips are visible (there is no fat on the dog’s body)\n• dog has ring around neck under collar possibly due to collar being tight and being rubbed raw\n• dog is locked in garage\/laundry room when dog is “too excited and is overwhelming” by the owner\n• dog is hardly walked and doesn’t get much exercise (which is why dog is “overwhelming” because dog doesn’t get energy out)\n• dog’s nails are so long that when taken on a walk they drag on the ground\n• dog’s teeth are black and breathe smells like poop\n\nI know the dog is in the teens of age but acts like a 2 year old with plenty of love and energy. Very nice dog overall; doesn’t bite, just wants to be by you at all times and is very sweet.\n\nI’m getting mixed responses from family\/friends being: “it’s not your place” “you don’t know what health conditions dog has” “you should say something to the owner” “you should report owner”\n\nI personally am an absolute dog lover. It breaks my heart seeing a dog treated like this. I don’t understand why people get pets and then treat it awfully. I feel I need to be the dogs advocate.\n\nHelp me out here... should I leave it be or should I report the owner? I feel there’s so much wrong that I can’t just pick one thing to say to the owner. ######","completion":" NTA - Report it! There might be issues (like you already wrote down) and the dog needs help, a dog cant speak up for themself and it is better to get it checked out how the dogs life is. If there isn't actual anything wrong they won't take the dog away but incase there is something wrong they can perhaps help the dog. ######"}
{"prompt":"I like to think that I am a very laid back individual with very few things that bother me, I have been married for 6 years together for 8 and have an 18 month old daughter. So I need to know if I'm the asshole. When my wife goes out with friends I would like to know at what time she plans on being home and to let me know if that is going to change. The second issue, I have problems sleeping when she isn't home and she knows this. So on nights that I work I ask her to be home some what early so I can sleep. Does this make me the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Reddit makes me die sometimes lol.... A baby in the house, mother needs to go out into late hours with her friends. Best thing is, if roles were flipped, people would be ANGERED that the father was going out because hes a parent too! And yes yes, attack me with \"the role reversal blah blah blah situational blah blah blah\". Truth is the mothers the asshole here. You cant sleep because you have to stay alert for your baby and have work at 5am, meanwhile mother is out having a good time.\n\nHow lovely\n\nWhat do the comments say when its a woman making this exact same post? \"🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run girl🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩\" and \"he needs to start parenting too! It takes 2 to make a baby and you should both be there with the baby not just you while hes with his friends!\" Or my personal favorite \"leave him and take full custody, hes definitely not ready to be a father. And make sure to collect child support!\" ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is trying to make me add his mom on Facebook. I don’t want to. I’ve told him no several times but he just won’t lay off of me about it. I know she’s hounding him about getting me to do it, but I just don’t want her on my page. At first he said she wants to see pictures and videos of the baby and that by not adding her I’m “keeping the baby from her”, but we have a shared album on our phones we both add things to to where she can see them whenever she wants. I also told him that he’s free to send her anything I post related to the baby that he thinks she’ll like. He said that’s not enough. He’s now saying I’m being disrespectful to his mom by not adding her and he doesn’t give a fuck that I don’t like her. I feel it’s disrespectful of him to keep asking me after I say no and trying to force me to add her. AITA here? ######","completion":" NTA - r\/justnomil thank me later tag me in posts gods speed and devils thunder. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hi all, \n\nSo I referred my girlfriend for my old job (I was more or less promoted for got a 10k raise) She got the job and is now also paid 10K more a year than she used to be paid. We live together as well. \n\nI was given a referral bonus of 1K. She is insistent that I share it with her. I was not too fond of this idea and she is now very upset because “I make so much more money than her” and “she does so much for me” and “she works so hard at the new job” etc. Am I an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Question for you, if your girlfriend is this demanding about something like this do you really want to see her at work too?  Seems like being home with her would be enough.... ######"}
{"prompt":"okay,so me(15f) got a phone last year, and ever since then my mom and my grandma are forcing me to tell them my password,my grandma always tries to snoop around my phone and check all the photos...\n\nI dont take my phone everywhere,i dont take my phone to school as it is not allowed.my mom says that whenever there is no battery on her phone and she needs to talk to somebody,then she can use mine so she wants to know my password...but I'm 1000% sure she uses it for watching shows,youtube  and complete the mobile data i have on my phone,she also doesn't login into her account so everything she watches comes up in my youtube account.It's annoying.\n\nMy grandma tries to snatch my phone and see what i have in it even though i warned her not to.my mom and my grandma argue with me for not telling them my password.i dont want them to know every single thing i do.\n\nI genuinely think that I'm not TA for it cuz u know,...privacy but I'm having second thoughts,\n AITA for it? ######","completion":" NTA - Privacy is a right, but *please* be responsible and use the internet safely (remember, you're a 15yo girl, many dangers on the internet, bla bla bla).\n\nIf your mom wants to use the mobile data you can share it with her with the data sharing setting most phones have. If I were you I'd set the phone to lock itself after a few seconds without being used so that they cannot snoop when you don't have it in your hands, and if they try to look over your shoulder at the screen then set the brightness to low (annoying at first but you'll get used to it). ######"}
{"prompt":"TLDR: Friends borrow\/given money. Splurge money. Expect more. \n\n\nAs the pandemic started, I knew several friends that would be out of work. Bartenders\/wait staff, etc. \n\nI starting reaching out to help if I could. A few took me up on the offer... many didn’t. \n\nTwo in particular really rubbed me the wrong way. \n\nOne needed money and I gave it to her. Then I saw in social media her going out and partying. Later she asked for a $300 loan until payday (she had been getting some hours at work). She said LOAN. She set the date. There were expectations set. On that day, I have her until about noon and hadn’t heard anything. FB post.. she’s on her way to Florida for the beach. I text her and ask about payday. She asks if she can just give me part of the money (never acknowledges that she’s literally at the beach and has posted pics of crab legs she’s eating). I mull this over for a few hours and ask for the payment in full. I get a cash app transfer in full and not a single word since (3 weeks now)\n\nAnother friend. Had an $800 bill due. I give $500 and she was like “that won’t pay the bill!”  Later she sets up Onlyfans site and invites me to join to “help each other out”. I ignore the message. 2 weeks go by.. she drives to FL and spent the weekend at the beach. Then flew to New England and spent a week posting pics of her and her friends eating, drinking and beach going. This morning “hey!  I’m trying to move ASAP. My car insurance is due .......”\nMy response to her is still pending.....\n\nAITA???!!!??? ######","completion":" NTA - Please just stop giving them money all together. None of them are entitled to your money and honestly after the first red flag I would've stopped. Say you can't help them anymore and leave it at that. Don't fork over ant information like \"oh I saw you here and here\" they'll just get defensive and give you excuses. \n\nStand with a firm \"I just can't and I don't have to tell you why\" and be done. ######"}
{"prompt":"My daughter is 3. My next door neighbor has a 3 year old son. My neighbor is an essential worker so I watch her son during the day. He and my daughter are very good friends and tell me often that they are married. It’s obviously innocent and cute.\n\nSince I’m still working, I’ve been letting them watch a lot of tv so I can get my work done. They like to cuddle up together under a blanket while they watch. Sometimes they even fall asleep (which is a total bonus for me.) \n\nThey were knocked out under the blanket together one afternoon and I didn’t want to wake them up by moving them. My daughters father FaceTimed me and asked to see her. I told him she wasn’t sleeping but I turned the camera around and showed her napping with her friend. Her father hung up and later called me and yelled at me for allowing her to cuddle with a boy. He said it was inappropriate and that I was encouraging an unhealthy relationship. I told him he was being creepy and they’re 3. He got very angry and is telling people that I am wrongly calling him names. Am I the asshole for calling him a creep? ######","completion":" NTA - people need to stop sexualizing children like this, it’s super gross. You were right to call it creepy because it’s totally inappropriate. They’re children, they can’t even read and your husband is already projecting stuff onto them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm not a native english speaker and my parents are immigrants. They don't speak the language fluently so whenever I'm talking to them on the phone I have to speak our native language. This however upsets some people, who for some reason feel uncomfortable about this.\n\nIn particular one of my ex-roommates told me that she was irritated by me speaking another language in our house and that it felt like I was shittalking her (which I have never done...I'm not the gossip-y type and I have more important things to talk to with my parents on the phone than my roommate).\n\nI tried avoiding this by going outside whenever I wanted to talk to my parents, but even then sometimes I couldn't go outside (it was raining or similar circumsances) and people outsidereacted even worse to me talking in another language on the phone (one guy insulted me and spit on the floor after hearing me talk on the phone).\n\nWhat am I supposed to do? I just see it as a private conversation with my parents...they're both nice people, just a bit old. ######","completion":" NTA - people are being assholes to you for no good reason. There's nothing they really need to hear in your conversation, it's not for them or about them. If you're not glancing at people significantly and making faces or something that would suggest you were talking about them, they can just mind their own business. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys, new to the sub.\n\nAnyway, this is gonna be a short description.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\n(We were playing online. This will make more sense)\n\nThe day prior, we were just playing some games because it was late and we had nothing else to do. That's all we did. We celebrated, then went to sleep. The next day (today), this exchange happened (Me = OP, friend = F, and this is all word-for-word) :\n\nYesterday at 23:53\n\nF : (image url)\n\nYour welcome\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nOP :now that you've sent me that pic i'll just block you now.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nF: Ok boomer\n\nSo angry\n\n## \n\nOP: dude u sent me porn\n\n## \n\nF: Yeah I did\n\n## \n\nOP: why\n\n## \n\nF: And? \n\nMeme\n\n## \n\nOP: it's not a meme.\n\nit's just porn\n\ni didn't ask for one.\n\n## \n\nF: It is funny though\n\n## \n\nOP: no it's not\n\nit's just a guy c\\*\\*\\*ing.\n\n## \n\nF: U dont get a joke\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nOP: no it's not\n\nit's just a guy c\\*\\*\\*ing. \n\n## \n\nF: XD\n\nCmon bro\n\nDude I think ur a little bit of a baby\n\n## \n\nOP: dude\n\nyou sent a minor porn.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\n\\*END OF CHAT\\*\n\n\\-------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nI'm 14. I did not ask once for this guy to send me a guy c\\*\\*\\*ing. If you guys want me to post the image (I doubt redditors would) then i would. So, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - particularly if your friend was older, he could be trying to groom you. Well done for blocking him. Don't ever feel bad for standing your ground when it comes to people making you feel uncomfortable - he could have said sorry and promised not to do it again, but he didn't. That's not a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.\n\nMy relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?) \n\nHe would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.\n\nHis partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.\n\nThen come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.\n\nLast week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.\n\nI haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.\n\nBut the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Part of being a parent means making hard decisions in order to protect your child. If he wants to be part of her life, let it happen legally.\n\nEdit: Also, unless you have a legal custody agreement, he could potentially take your daughter, disappear, and there’s not a thing you can do about it because he’s her father. Might want to hit up r\/legaladvice ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - in a couple of months. My husband and his parents are all math geniuses and wanted his name to include some math reference. I thought it was a cute and funny idea. Recently, my husband thought of a name. I thought of names too. I like Dylan, Jared and Loren. My husband was like \"um, yeah. I was thinking Cube.\" Like a Rubik Cube. I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that was the stupidest name ever. He told me to think of it as \"Cute.\" I told him I'd rather name him Sweater before Cube. ######","completion":" NTA - parents who think of these \"cute\" names should go change their own names to it instead of inflicting them on their kids who have to go through grade school with them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister in law has a horrible habit of making impulsive decisions at the drop of a hat, usually requiring my wife to get her out of situations and pick up the pieces. \nShe also has a habit of adopting animals just because they look cute and giving them away as soon as they grow up, or prove too much to handle. \n\nRecently, somehow, someway, she managed to obtain a fox. A fox that's barely older than a baby.\n\nFoxes are illegal to own where we live, even with a permit, and she knows this. I don't know alot about foxes, but I do know that they are very high maintenance and hard to take care of, plus my sister in law has a tendency to neglect the animals, which often leads to call a regarding the welfare of the animals. \n\nI texted her shortly after I found about, saying that foxes were illegal to own, but to not let him out because he probably couldn't defend or hunt. She replied that she knew perfectly well what she was doing (spoiler alert! she didn't) and to mind my own business. \n\nI brought up animal control to my wife, but she flat out refused. She said that she'd never forgive me if I called them. \n\nBut I was concerned for the Fox and, in the end, called animals control, who took away the fox, gave my sister in law a fine (17,000) and now she's facing jail time. She's furious, and so is my wife, who is now refusing to talk to me, even though it's been a week since the whole ordeal. \n\nAn input? ######","completion":" NTA - owning foxes is illegal for a reason, she broke the law and knew it. Especially having a history of neglecting animals and pushing them onto someone else when they become too much work for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm engaged. This news has been circling through my old high school friends and I've been getting a lot of nice messages about it from everyone except this girl Kate. Kate and I were friends in middle school\/high school, but I haven't spoken to her since then (we are both 25). \n\nWhen we were kids she was very clear that her whole goal in life was to get married and become a SAHM. Dope, you do you. She's always been very traditional and feminine and I've always been very tomboyish\/masculine. This never posed an issue when we were friends. \n\nSince I got engaged Kate has felt the need to let me, and everyone else, know how she \"doesn't understand how\" I'm engaged. She said \"OP is just not what anyone thinks of as wife material\" and \"OP just isn't very feminine, it's surprising she's getting married first\" or just straight up making fun of the fact that I make more money than my fiance and he's taking my last name. \n\nI sent her a message \"hey kate. I've heard from some other people what you've been saying and it's hurtful to me\" and she hasn't stopped. My best friend thinks I should be more empathetic because Kate always imagined she'd be pregnant with baby #1 at 25, and instead she's never even had a boyfriend. \n\nThis is where I might be TA. We were in a group chat talking about my wedding and Kate said \"it's crazy that you're getting married when you don't even shave your legs\" and I just snapped and wrote \"stop shitting on me just because you're lonely. No one wants to marry you because you have no thoughts or feelings or ambitions outside of being a wife or a mother. You're just jealous because I'm successful and happy and you're living at home with mom and dad and failing on Christian Mingle\" \n\nI know I was mean, but I feel like I was pushed and I tried to tell her that she was hurting me. Other people told her to stop as well. ######","completion":" NTA - or rather, totally justifiable asshole. People don't seem to understand consequences these days, it's all fun until their feelings get hurt. She is hurting and taking it out on you, despite you and many others repeatedly telling her to stop. Yes you could've put the phone down or responded to just her or done a number of different things, but honestly she needs to grow up and I can't blame you for snapping. You don't deserve to be belittled like that (especially during such a stressful time as wedding planning) because she's insecure and bitter. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I'm sixteen and my brother is eight and autistic.\n\nMy brother is developing an infection on his leg that's getting worse every day. Just three months ago, I had to do a major surgery on both legs for this exact infection - MRSA - and almost had to amputate. I can tell that my brother is developing the same thing, but my parents are refusing to take him to the hospital and insist on using various creams on the spot that aren't prescribed and don't seem to be helping.\n\nI've asked both my parents to please take him to the hospital, because I struggled so much with my own surgery and Im hoping if we take him now, we won't have to operate on his legs. However, my mom is insistent that it's no big deal (she insisted this last time when it happened to me too, which is why my legs got so bad before I was taken to emergency). My dad just complains about how my mom would yell if he took him to the hospital and we've argued about this but he won't budge.\n\nI want to take my brother to the hospital, maybe early in the morning before my parents wake up. I can cover the Healthcare costs with the money I've earned tutoring and all the money I've saved all my life from birthdays and holidays. Granted, I can't sign consent forms for him as I'm not an adult yet, but that's only if he needs surgery and I don't think he does yet, though he will if it goes untreated for a week. ######","completion":" NTA - oh my goodness! Take him to the hospital and then contact CPS! They are literally putting his life at risk! \n\nWhen I was a kid my mother was very very ill and would refuse to take us to the hospital because her hallucinations told her not to. Came very very close to killing my sister that way. ( Ended up having to have immediate emergency surgery and was minutes from death. Literally). To this day I still get angry sometimes when I think about how people knew about this stuff but never did anything about it. Never stepped in. Never reported it. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin had a daughter, and passed away when she was 10. The kid's dad is a royal douche but somehow got full custody, so for the last couple years my relatives have been taking turns hosting the daughter.\n\nEach has had her for a couple months at a time and while her primary residence is her dad's place she's there maybe one night every few months, then the next morning she goes to the next house. Cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents have all taken their turn hosting.\n\nThe reason we're taking turns is that she's not a *bad* kid but she's had some... issues. I am sympathetic to the situation because I did basically the same thing as her growing up (my parents were not the nicest people) but everyone has struggled to have her more than a few months because she gets into arguments at school and at home and sometimes stuff goes missing from the homes she's staying in. No one has ever caught her stealing but she'll usually have a sudden cash flow right after something expensive goes missing. She claims the money is from her dad and no one has been able to prove otherwise.\n\nI'm the only one who hasn't hosted her yet and my cousin she's currently with wants me to take a turn hosting. I've said no because while I can afford it and have a guest room I'm only 6 years older than her (21 to her 15) and I don't know what to do with her, plus if she's a nightmare and lockdown goes back to being heavily restricted I might not be able to get someone else to take their turn.\n\nI'm being pressured by several family members to take my turn despite never agreeing to it before now, and I feel really bad for not agreeing.\n\nAITA for not wanting to take a turn? ######","completion":" NTA - of course she has problems! Her mom died 5 years ago and the family has been playing hot potato with her since then instead of allowing her to have a stable life. What the fuck is wrong with your family? Unless her father is dangerous to her personal safety, she needs to be returned home. She’s a human child, not a fucking Barbie accessory for everyone to share. Jesus. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend, L, sent me a series of pictures that said “Want to play a game where you invest $100 and end up making $800?” With a circle of names and then a larger circle of names. It was obviously a pyramid scheme so I asked her if she knew what it was. She said it was an octagon scheme and if I wanted to play. She had already sent the money, and hadn’t signed a contract or anything. I asked her for the name of who brought her in, and I have them on facebook now. WIBTA if I called the police and reported a pyramid scheme? I just want to protect others from a stupid scam like this, especially in such trying times. \n\nTL;DR Friend is in an “octagon scheme” and tried to recruit me, should I report the person who recruited her to the authorities? ######","completion":" NTA - octagon scheme smh, are they going through every other shape just not to be known as a pyramid scheme? Report to FB, these schemes are scamming people for money ######"}
{"prompt":"My girlfriend of almost 4 years and I live together and during coronavirus I have been getting unemployment because my work isn’t open, but hers just opened back up last week. She works about 20 minutes away from the house and always asks me to take her to work when we both have cars. She tells me it’s to spend time with each other but we live together and I don’t see the point in taking 40 minutes round trip to take her to work and pick her up. Today she was visibly mad about me not wanting to take her to work and I don’t understand why because we are always with each other. ######","completion":" NTA - obviously you've got nothing to do currently but what should you spend more than an hour of your day driving (half of which with an empty car) it would be different if she had no car or you driving her was quicker than the bus.. but she can literally drive her self ######"}
{"prompt":"Took my 4 year old son to the park with my wife and her mum. Son has a little bike that’s his faithful companion everytime we go. He wanted to sit and watch some swans by the lake so we settled down on the grass nearby and left the bike directly behind us to get a closer look at the wildlife. I’m talking a couple of feet at most. \n\nA small girl similar in age to my son who had been sitting with her family (and who had been watching my son and the bike with interest when we came) got up while we weren’t facing her and took the bike. We hadn’t noticed until we turned around- and there she was with her family sat on it. \n\nMy wife immediately said ‘excuse me, can we have our bike back?’ And the family laughed her off saying no no, kids play, kids play. They didn’t speak English very well so maybe they couldn’t pick up on the fact that wife and I were uncomfortable. \n\nMy son obviously started getting upset because as far as he’s concerned someone’s stolen his bike. I asked for the bike back, again they laughed it off. \n\nI finally turned to the girl and told her to get off, she started crying and pushed off the bike and ran to her parent in a small tantrum. \n\nObviously I had to sanitise the handles etc before giving it back to my son because of the climate and the family looked pretty irritated but didn’t say anything. My mother in law however berated both myself and my wife saying we were unbelievably rude and that I was ‘unnecessarily insulting’ the family by sanitising the bike in front of them and that I shouldn’t have taken the bike off the little girl, and ‘in her day’ people knew the meaning of community etc. ######","completion":" NTA - not only is this a terrible time to \"sharing\" with strangers, the family knew enough to understand that your wife wanted the bike back and still said no. They are lucky you were as polite as you were. I would have had steam coming out my ears. You're MIL is happy risking her grandson's health for the sake of politeness? She's definitely an asshole. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######","completion":" NTA - not only did he purposefully put ingredients in a meal that you don’t like, he went out of his way to note that you wouldn’t like it and it seems tried to convince either you or himself that you were annoyed when you were displaying no signs of being such. He’s practically picking a fight about it, and I’d imagine there’s underlying issues which he may or may not have communicated to you before. I would sit down and try and talk about how you each feel when this happens and see why he might be doing this. Baiting your partner into a fight is never good behaviour. ######"}
{"prompt":"My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24\/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.\n\nFor context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.\n\nCurrently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24\/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######","completion":" NTA - not even lightly.   One night maybe once or twice a week is one thing.   Several weeks is seriously OTT. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her.\n\nSo I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together.\n\nMy wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family.\n\nSo she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day.\n\nShe called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her.\n\nAlso for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family.\n\nTL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######","completion":" NTA - not even a little bit. \n\nActually though, while wife isn't an angel here, I'm giving the major asshole tag to her family. It sounds to me like they shamed her for you not going, it got to her (hence her only calling you about it once she was at the party) and it spiraled from there.\n\nYes, she absolutely needs to stand up to her family and have your back. But I'd start there. And if it turns out it was also her being mad you didn't offer to go, even though she didn't ask, you guys need to talk about communication between each other as well. ######"}
{"prompt":"I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.\n\nMy gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.\n\nSo I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.\n\nI'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.\n\nYesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.\n\nI stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.\n\nI feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - normally I say once you give a gift you can’t take it back but in this instance I think she was the AH. ######"}
{"prompt":"TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!\n\nI considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.\n\nMy ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming) \n\nWe moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.\n\nWhen I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.\n\nI fully believe it was her fault.\n\nFour weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.\n\nI guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.\n\nShe tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.\n\nI told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.\n\nMy ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" Nta - nope. Fuck that. Don’t give that woman anything ######"}
{"prompt":"My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up. \n\nMost of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.\n\nShe doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.\n\nThe thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social\/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######","completion":" NTA - no wonder she doesn’t have friends if she’s the kind of person who will follow someone around the house to yell at them when it’s clear they’re trying to exit the situation. You are not required to be her sole social outlet just because there’s a pandemic. She presumably has internet access, she can access support, she’s choosing not to. That’s a whole lot of not your responsibility. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello,\n\nFirst of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.\n\nRecently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)\n\nMy parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment. \n\nI don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######","completion":" NTA - No woman is TA for wanting to freeze her eggs. Who knows what the future holds. You two may break up. He may die. You may marry and get divorced. He may change his mind. Who knows? All you are doing is giving yourself options. ######"}
{"prompt":"So it’s all pretty stupid but I thought I’d make a post since my family seems to wanna make it a big deal. Before the virus that shall not be named shut down everything I had two beautiful twin girls. The names I picked out I kept a secret until I announced their birth + gender. Both names are from characters I love and hold near and dear. The names are Azula (Avatar the last air bender) and Eclipsa (Star vs the forces of evil). I made a post about it and everything seemed fine until I got a message in the family group chat. My mother was livid that I’d name my girls after two villains whose names won’t “represent my daughters well” (I found out my brother told her who they were names after.) I told her that the names don’t define who they are. She didn’t respond but I come to find a long Facebook post about how I “doomed” my “sweet little angles” and how names have weight and will effect how they turn out. All the comments are relatives agreeing with her and how “people these days will name their kids anything”. I didn’t name my kids hotdog and cheese like I don’t get what’s so bad. Anyways I’ve just been getting a lot of “hate” if you will from my family. It’s making me genuinely wonder AITA for naming my kids after  two “villains” ######","completion":" NTA - no one would object to naming a girl Delilah or Sapphira. The only difference between those villain names and yours is time. They’re not egregiously weird names as far as pop culture names go. Azula could pass off as being derived from Spanish “azul” ; I have never seen the other show and I would just assume Eclipsa is just a derivative of eclipse. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.\n\n  \nSince I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: \"Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her,\" and they'll just respond with an \"I know, right?\" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.\n\n Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.\n\n He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me\/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of \"Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol.\"   \nI know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - no one has the right to physically touch you without your permission.\n\nHave you explained to your parents why you don't like it? ######"}
{"prompt":"My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######","completion":" NTA - next time one of them complains tell them you won't be offended if they return your presents for the money back because you know things are tough right now for everyone. Maybe that will make them realize that they are complaining so much they are sucking the joy right out of the gifts. ######"}
{"prompt":"We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.\n\nHe makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50\/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.\n\nWe were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles)  I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, \"Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me.\" And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)\n\nThe thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends\/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.\n\nAITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?\n\n\nTL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######","completion":" NTA - next time he invites someone over remind him to ask his guests to foresee cash so they pay for their food and drinks and see how he reacts ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.\n\nHowever, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.\n\nSo, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - My mom was always the same. She took it so personally if I wasn’t having fun to her standards on vacation and would get so mad and put out. She had to plan every second out and you had to be on the beach at a certain very early hour or you were wasting the day.\n\nHave you explained to them about your medication? ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.\n\nThey all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.\n\nMy husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######","completion":" NTA - my husband and I try to travel as much as we can and I would be extremely upset if he used up points, hotel nights, whatever on someone else ESPECIALLY without even consulting with me first. \n\nBy the cousin not wanting to dip into their savings, which is completely reasonable and can be understood, your husband has now put the financial burden on you guys because you will now have to pay for what you could have used your points for. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically. \n\nToday I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response. \n\nBefor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home. \n\nMy mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child. \n\nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - my boss & his SO is managing to do a similar type of job to your sister in law and have two kids (5 & 2) in the house. \n\nThey work around mandatory meetings and clock off to watch the kids when the other can’t. Your sister in law can save those sheets anytime to take an hour out, deadlines for most office work are flexible given the current climate anyway ######"}
{"prompt":"Am I the asshole for refusing to take my husbands last name but keeping my ex husbands?\n\nMy husband and I have been together for five years, married for 2.5. When we got married I did not take his last name. I was up front with him and told him prior to us getting married that I would not be changing my last name. In my mind, I built an almost 20 year career, graduated with two degrees and raised my daughter with my last name. I was a single mother for eight years before I met him, and I have the same last name as my daughter. \n\nTo compromise, I changed my name on Facebook to his so most people think I did change it (even some family members). Professionally and financially I still go by my ex husbands last name. (We share a daughter who looks nothing like me, so part of the reason I kept his last name after our divorce is being of custodial reasons. The other part is because I was already ten plus years into my career with his last name. We married when I was 18.)\n\nMy husband is all sorts of pissy about it. But today he got even more mad because my mother called me by my maiden name. I corrected her and said “no, my name is x.” (My legal name, not his last name which I use on Facebook). He is so mad right now that he is refusing to speak to me.\n\nAm I the asshole here? I was up front about my desire to not change my last name. It’s so frustrating to me because he says that I have an “awful mindset” about this. I feel like being this upset about it means he doesn’t care about my identity and sees me as a possession. I feel like a possession to him. We have joint accounts, have bought a home together, and have a son who has his last name (and coincidentally is the spitting image of me). ######","completion":" NTA - my best friend did the same thing.  Was married for however many years and had a little boy and was divorced for like 8 years before getting remarried to a great guy. \nHer sons last name is her last name and she built up her professional reputation with her last name (big deal with her career).  \nProfessionally and legally her last name is still her ex husbands last name.  On FB and socials she changed it to the new one.  \nIt makes perfect sense.   And her husband it totally fine with it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######","completion":" NTA - Looks like some people who can give it, just can't take it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8\/9 months till he got his place\n\nSo my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.\n\nHis flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back\n\nhe decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions\n\nGuess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ######","completion":" NTA - like you said there's a difference between being messy and living in awful conditions. There's no reason why you should have to endure the bad smell and dirty apartment just because he is too lazy to clean it. Personally I find the mental challenge of starting cleaning is bigger than the task itself. Also living in the smell may make him slightly immune to it so it might not be as noticeable. You could maybe offer to help start the cleaning with him (even though it's not your responsibility) so that the task is more manageable. But highlight that in future he should try getting into a routine of cleaning once a week. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him?\n\nEdit- age\/gender clarity\nEdit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him  and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends\/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######","completion":" NTA - Let me first establish this.  **YOU ARE NEVER THE ASSHOLE FOR NOT HAVING SEX WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!**  No one should force you to have sex.   Consent is everything!! \n\nHe does not love you if he is pressuring you to have sex with him.   He is calling you an ungrateful prude.  This is not something that a person who loves you would call you.   ALL the red flags.   He is telling you he is entitled to your body.   And that is HUGELY MAJORLY wrong. \n\nPlease leave him.  You will find someone who understands and loves you for how you feel.   He does not. ######"}
{"prompt":"Before covid, still a problem.\n\nMy daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.\n\nAnyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.\n\nWhen I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home. \n\nWe had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.\n\nThen he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.\n\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA - kids get mental health days too, it's not like she's taking advantage and always asking to skip school ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (M19) and my brother (M17) usually both split a mother's day card and gift. This year however he when to a friend's house yesterday (Fri) and will not be back until Mon. I spent 3 hours on Friday trying to find my mother a great gift going from store to store and got a card. I signed the card and sealed the envelope. Today he sent me a message through our group chat with friends and told me to just put his name on the card. I said no and told him he chose to go to his friends house and forgot a gift and didn't contribute anything to the gift. My friend say I'm TA. But my gf says I'm not. So Reddit should I break the seal and signature his name? ######","completion":" NTA - just because you guys have always done this this way doesn't mean you have to do it that way forever, especially if he took for granted that you'd pick up the slack if he went off with his friends. ######"}
{"prompt":"First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA - just because they are family doesn't mean that you need to let them use you as a bank. That's not a healthy dynamic. You have goals that you are saving for and you need to keep working towards that. If you let this continue then you will grow to resent them. Its hard to cut off family but you need to do it financially for yourself. If they have access to your bank account then you should open a new bank account and put all of your money into there so they don't have a way to access your money. Emphasis on YOUR money ######"}
{"prompt":"So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.\n\nMy husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.\n\nHe flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying \"you're not hungry, are you?\"\n\nI ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - jesus christ, you  needed the bathroom. It was a small detour. It's really not cool that he was happy to let you sit in pain (and probably with an embarrassed unease around your friends) just so he could get to the park 10 minutes faster.\n\nYour husband was being an ass, and FTR if he's \"generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally\", that's not being supportive. ######"}
{"prompt":"Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.\n\nI was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24\/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Its not your responsibility. Your grandparents and aunt are tho for expecting you to babysit your cousin ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)\n\nEver since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to\n\nA cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because \n\n1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home \n2. I’m a bit possessive about it.\n3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it\n\nI’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ######","completion":" NTA - It’s yours. You don’t have to give up anything especially now a Pc you built yourself. Why don’t you find a cheap one on marketplace and send them the link. \n\nSay sorry I have a lot of personal photos and details saved on that computer I don’t want to lose but here is a cheap option. That they won’t be able to waste their time and play games on lol ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so I am neither the parent nor the son in this story. This happened between my father and my brother and it’s kind of split the family. It happened a few months ago but still gets brought up so I was hoping to get Reddit’s take on the situation. For the sake of making it easier to read I’ll be writing from my dad’s perspective. \n***\n\nSo I (57M) recently discovered my younger son (24M) has been hiding a snake in his bedroom. My two sons (24M and 27M) both live with my wife and I rent-free in our home. All I ask from them is that they help with household chores and respect me and their mom. \nMy younger son has wanted a snake ever since he was 6. In that time my sons have had a myriad of pets. Over the 20-some years we have been in this house we’ve had dogs, cats, a turtle, countless fish, and frogs. \nThe only animal I’ve ever said no to is a snake. I don’t like them. I don’t like how big they get and how potentially dangerous they could be to our other pets if my son isn’t careful — and he has a history of not being careful. My father in law at one point considered letting my son get a snake to keep at their house. Fine, so long as it isn’t in my house. \n\nOne day while putting mail in my son’s bedroom I noticed that there was a weird glow coming from the corner. I went to look at it and found that he had an aquarium set up with a ball python. \nI had words with my son and within a few hours he had sold it to someone who apparently has a lot of snakes that she raises. \n\nMy son was very upset to give up his snake. His girlfriend still won’t talk to me and I think even my wife has doubts about whether we did the right thing. I stand firm that I did what was right. I told him no snakes and he went and got a snake and then tried to hide it from me. \nSo reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - It’s your house, and in the end you get a say in what pets are allowed. Your son is the AH for trying to hide it from you. If he wants a snake that badly he can move out and get his own place. \n\nThat being said, I am curious exactly how you reacted and what “words” you had with him? At any point did you threaten him or the snake? How long did you give him to move the snake and what would the consequences be if he had not? ######"}
{"prompt":"Day before yesterday i was talking to my grandmother on facetime when we were talking about my cousin (F 26) having a kid. All of a sudden she starts talking about me having kids. For the context i got married at 16 (this is pretty common practice in Arabia and I live in London with my husband).  She tells me that i should start my own family and i politely told her no because me nor my husband want kids right now, we're both studying and i feel like I'm too young. But she wont stop talking about even after me trying to change the topic multiple times.  She repeated herself like a MILLION times and it made me very uncomfortable. The weirdest thing was that she wants me to carry the baby, give birth and then send my child back to my home country and she will raise it. I told her no and reminded her that her other granddaughter (my cousin) is having a kid and she should pay attention to her kid and look after them. She always complains that she has gotten very lazy while being pregnant and is making her mother help her. I don't see any issue in that as its their own matter. But after this happened  I could not stop thinking about it and haven't told anyone else yet. \n\nSo reddit am i the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - it’s so weird when anyone wants to tell you what to do with your body, especially something as huge as growing a human in it ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ######","completion":" NTA - it’s okay for you to not cater to her, that isn’t your responsibility. You’re also being considerate on her part, because you’re right that she may be overloaded! It’s your day and you’re doing what’s best for both of you ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents. \n\nAITA ######","completion":" NTA - it’s not your problem at all ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go\/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22\/07\/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?\n\nSo really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######","completion":" NTA - it’s not refundable and you can’t reschedule. It’s possible that the hen do will have to be rescheduled anyway.  I don’t know why an event which shall not be named makes everyone assume other people should be available 24\/7 but the fact is, you have plans that you can’t change. If you feel badly about missing the event maybe you could plan something for just you and your sister to celebrate.\n\nEdited to remove rule breaking portion ######"}
{"prompt":"\nI know how the title sounds!\n\nI’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.\n\n3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.\n\nI gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.\n\nTwo years  ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.\n\nI’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.\n\nMy husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.\n\nMy husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that) \n\nSince getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.\n\nI’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.\n\nMy husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going  university and working) \n\nAt this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - It’s been 2 years. In my opinion it kind of sounds like she’s taking advantage because she’s had it easy so long and has the attitude that her brother “wouldn’t let his baby sister live on the street”. \nShe has a child she needs to provide for and set a good example for. Bad timing with Covid and all that but she’s had two years to sort her life out. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my close friend (Q) &amp; her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it &amp; said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways. \n\nIn the process of planning (&amp; hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):\n\n1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes &amp; scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests &amp; THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests &amp; Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it &amp; agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple. \n\n2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q &amp; W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W &amp; how W has been affected. &amp; she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, &amp; it took a while before she got it. \n\nSo yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######","completion":" NTA - it’s an engagement between 2 people. Not just one person and it’s especially important to emphasize her fiancé’s role because of how Q’s family has treated him ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######","completion":" NTA - It's yours to do what you want to do with it. If she wants the expensive perfume then she can buy it herself. She's been sneaking around because she knows what she's doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your things to be YOUR things. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.\n\nAs much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a \"life coach and weight loss\" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.\n\nI write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule\/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings\/ incur their wrath and judgement.\n\nWIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######","completion":" NTA - it's your personal information, you should share it, or not share it, in the way that is most comfortable for you.  \n\nIf you're really worried about it, maybe you can ask your husband to say something to them.  That way they're getting the personal touch, but you don't have to be there to hear any judgment from them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.\n\nMy insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.\n\nI told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.\n\nAITA for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA - It's YOUR money. You are an ADULT. They don't get to spend your money on your adult brother to \"discipline\" you. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nMy wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.\n\nBack in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.\n\nI tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.\n\nBut she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since. \n\nUntil a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.\n\nMy sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.\n\nI told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.\n\nShe asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.\n\nWhen I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).\n\nI get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######","completion":" NTA - It's your equipment, and the circumstances for which you agreed to give her the equipment have drastically altered. The same way you waited till this global pandemic to use it again, they waited till now to actually clear the space, expecting you to hold them forever until they decide they're ready, and even avoiding your attempts to actually give her the equipment. She wants it now for the same reason you want to keep it. You stopped needing it in November and it's now April. At the end of the day, it's your equipment and if you now need it, then you can't be expected to give it away. If your nephew needs equipment so badly, he can come use it at your place.\n\nAlso, she shouldn't have decided way after the fact that this agreement would still be in play and prep in advance without even discussing with you first. Given the epidemic, I think most people would assume you would've started using them again. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway my wife is on reddit\n\nMy daughter(24F) is a lesbian I found out by accident when she was 15 and I saw her in her room kissing a female friend she didn't realize that I saw them so I just moved away slowly and quietly. I told her the next day what I saw and she came out to me, I told her it was okay and that this wouldn't change anything in our relationship, I suggested she tell her mom\/my wife, she said she would tell her one day when she is ready but I should keep it a secret\n\nI asked her why she didn't want to tell her she said, her mom has a big mouth and she didn't want other people to know especially her grandparents(my wife's parents are homophobic) so I just let it be and kept the secret as it wasn't my secret to tell.\n\nWell my wife recently found out when my daughter brought her long term girlfriend home who is now her fiancee to introduce her to my wife (I've known about this girl since they started dating, even met her parents), my wife got angry and asked our daughter why she kept this secret from her parents? My daughter  responded by saying I knew and I was the one supporting.\n\nMy wife then asked me how long I've known about this and I told her truth about everything. Well I'm now being called a liar ( which is true and I understand that I lied all this time but it wasn't my secret to tell), she has accused me of living a double life and sneaking out at night to have dinner with my daughter's secret lovers( also true but my daughter asked me to meet her GF and the asked me to meet her parents, I even play golf with my daughter's fiancee's father)\n\nThen my wife did what my daughter feared about telling her the truth, she called the whole family and some of her friends, now me and my daughter are being called assholes for keeping such a big secret, I'm being called a horrible lying husband. \n\nI just need the opinions of internet strangers on if I'm the asshole or not. ######","completion":" NTA - it's your daughter's decision when she tells people. The golden rule is to NEVER out anyone. You did the right thing, your wife is probably just annoyed she wasn't trusted. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.\n\nI (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me. \n\nShe noticed me look back her at her and she asked \"What's your name?\"\n\nI was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked \"Why?\"\n\nShe started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.\n\nInstead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being. \n\nMeanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.\n\nSo AITA? Was I being rude? ######","completion":" NTA - It's your choice to tell somebody your name. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'll keep this short and sweet because it's so dumb.\n\n2 neighbors and I share a driveway because we're in townhouses. We each have our own little garden along it. One of my neighbors have started driving through mine while reversing into their garage and killing my gnomes. I tried to talk to them about it but the wife had a go at me for taking photos of her kids (I didn't even have a phone out). Also, they have plenty of space to reverse in because I do it with my own garage, and this only started around Christmas after almost 2 years of living here\n\nAfter that they started putting the kids bikes in my garden, so I've been pushing them back against their garage door.\n\nMy garden isn't that great, but it's my property, and I like having gnomes and lawn ornaments in it because it's just some fun. \n\nSo WITBA if I started to add those little metal decorative fence\/edge things to keep them out? Possibly killing a tire of a bike or car? ######","completion":" NTA - it's very inconsiderate of them. \n\nIn a similar situation, my neighbour ran a daycare and every morning one of the moms would drive over my garden and crush my plants. I asked her not to, my neighbour asked her not to, and each time she'd stop for a day or so and then it would start again. \n\nSo I replaced my crushed lavender with tall decorative grass hiding a big fucking rock. \n\nShe drove through the grass and cracked her bumper on the rock. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) have been living on my own for about 2 years now, but moved back in with my mom to save money during this time. \n\nWhen I live alone or with roommates, I rarely ever think about what I eat on a daily basis. But when I’m home, my mom is constantly asking what I’m eating or offering up “healthier” suggestions and I’ve found I feel very anxious eating at her house. She also does this to my sister (21F) and has been a lot worse to her than me in the past. She put my sister on Weight Watchers in like 6th grade. My sister just recently found medical records from that time saying she was not considered overweight until high school. \n\nMy mom has a history of bulimia and has been pretty weird about food ever since then. She’s always buying elixirs and protein powders and sugar alternatives and trying to make her food “healthier”. \n\nThis morning as I was making my coffee (French press with oat milk) she said that I really should let her make me one of her “coffee drinks” with beef collagen and adaptogens and whatever other shit she was gonna throw in there. Granted, I had not had my coffee yet but I went OFF on how adding processed alternatives to substitute real foods is not “healthy” and the way she micromanages our eating is pretty messed up. \n\nMy brother (18M) stepped in and said I was being unusually harsh to my mom and that she doesn’t care what we eat. Of course he thinks that, he’s a “growing boy” in her mind and she doesn’t treat his eating the same as she does my sister and mine. \n\nMy sister didn’t want to get into the argument because she didn’t want to bring up poor feelings from our moms bad ED days and overall upbringing. \n\nAITA for calling her out?\n\ntl;dr my mom has an unhealthy relationship with food that she projects onto my sister and I. I finally called her out on it today. ######","completion":" NTA - It's very concerning that your mother is pushing her residual eating disorder thinking onto you and your sister. Maybe you should sit her down and as kindly as possible have a conversation with her about that. Ignoring the problem, contrary to popular belief, does not make it go away. ######"}
{"prompt":"All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say \"I'll get back to you\" or \"sure maybe next week\" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like \"sure I'm free this weekend or \"I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure\" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like \"I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know\". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ######","completion":" NTA - It's rude of them to leave you hanging until the last minute.  If they don't give you a specific reason for the last minute yes or no, then it sounds like they're waiting for a better offer to come along or waiting to see if they're in the mood to hang out.  Like if you had asked if they wanted to do something and they said, 'yeah, but I have x going on, so I won't know if I'm free until the day of' then that's one thing, but radio silence until the last minute is disrespectful of your time and would make anyone feel bad and undervalued as a friend. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July.\nShe wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around. \n\nBecause of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him.\n\nIt might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend.\n\nSo, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ######","completion":" NTA - it's not much of a vacation if you spend it hiding your relationship. ######"}
{"prompt":"My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.\n\nFor a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.\n\nWe currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.\n\nShe says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.\n\nAMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?\n\nEdit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######","completion":" NTA - It's awful that her friend is going through abuse, but if you don't feel comfortable with it (and I understand why you wouldn't, this person is a stranger), then your girlfriend is wrong for pushing you. Especially since you'd have to get a whole new apartment for it. Your girlfriend should look into any other resources - other people\/friends who might have spare rooms, possible shelters, etc. ######"}
{"prompt":"My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty. \n\nI don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night. \n\nWith this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA?? \n\nAlso for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.\n\nTl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ######","completion":" NTA - it wouldn’t be sexist if you were a male either. She is a mooch. ######"}
{"prompt":"This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.\nIt was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.\nMy brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.\nI got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.\n1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me. \n2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.\n3. She had money for a cab\n4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.\n5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.\n6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked. \n7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.\nShe ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - it woulda been different if your brother weren't there, but he was. You didn't leave her by herself. She wasn't in danger.\n\nYea, you coulda double checked with her, but the most people should be angry about is you abruptly changing plans (she mentioned staying with you) ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults. \n\nMy new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.\n\nI said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on. \n\nIt seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment. \n\nI also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax. \n\nBut my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house. \n\nAITA for saying no to the music lessons? ######","completion":" NTA - it would be deeply inappropriate for someone to bring a string of random children into this type of home. Your roommate doesn’t have access to background checks for every person there and doesn’t know what (if any) screening process the landlord uses. It’s also okay to just plain not care for kids. Plus it would be irresponsible parenting to bring kids into a home with a rotating cast of random adults. It’s a recipe for disaster. ######"}
{"prompt":"Reddit,\n\nI need a sanity check.\n\nI got someone who bought a AIO pc that's obviously not for gaming, they offered me a lower than asking price, by a lot, and I accepted. WCGW (paid 350 from 600 asking if anyone is curious)\n\nits been less than 12 hours since we exchanged and they are now crying for a refund because... you guessed it, it doesn't play video games.\n\nbefore anyone decides to be a wiseguy, the PC is completely functional and the display is flawless (no dead pixels). They even admitted over text that they don't want it anymore because it doesn't play any games.\n\nits got an i3, 8gb of ram and a 256gb ssd. On one side, I don't want to because there's no way to prove they didn't tamper with it (ad was deleted off letgo as soon as it was handed off so I can't even prove the original specs I sold it with), on another side, I don't really care about buyers remorse.\n\nAITA if I lowkey don't want to refund the person and .... don't? ######","completion":" NTA - it was up to the buyer to question specs, ability to play game prior to purchase. As long as it was working when you put it out the door, it is no longer your responsibility.\n\nIf you want to be nice, you can take it back but you are not obligated. If they don't want it, they can put it back up for sale. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have always been a fairly small guy, and at 5'8 weighed about 125 lbs. I was also fairly weak for a while. My girlfriend often teases me about this (completely jokingly, she means no harm by this at all) as she has been lifting regularly for over a year now, and was definitely stronger than me. \n\nRecently the teasing has been getting more frequent, so just to spite her, I've been using the extra time in quarantine to start lifting with a few dumbbells in the house. It's been a bit over a month and although I'm still below average strength, I've overtaken my girlfriend in the amount of weight we can lift. \n\nI can tell that this slightly upset her and she asked me that now that I've proven my point am I going to stop lifting. The thing is now that I've begun this journey, I actually really enjoy the routine and the process.\n\nMy girlfriend thinks that I'm an asshole because I did all of this just to get back at her, and though I did start with that intention, that is no longer my motivation.\n\nAITA for lifting just to make a point and then not stopping? ######","completion":" NTA - it was almost an “everyone sucks” because this is all so petty, but she’s gone too far by wanting you to stop now that you’ve found you genuinely like it. Her insecurity is preventing her from supporting you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok, soooo the other night I was on my way to meet my girlfriend, he place is a 20 minute walk from mine if I cut through a park near her house, I like the walk especially on warm nights. \n\nAnyway it was kinda late but I told my gf I was heading over and sent her a message as I was walking out the door.\n\nI was 5 minutes into my walk and approaching the park when I noticed a woman walking too, she kept looking back at me I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. She made her way into the park, I knew if I had also “followed” her into the park I’d terrify her. Even though I knew I had no ill intentions, I know I can be intimidating I’m 6’3, and even if I wasn’t I know that a man walking near a woman at night would scare her.\n\nSo I decided to walk the long way. When I got to my gfs I explained why I was late, and she told me I should’ve just cut through the park and to have overtaken the woman, and then went on to say “you could’ve kept an eye out for her just in case someone actually bad was in the park” which made me think damn maybe I made the wrong decision. ######","completion":" NTA - it was actually considerate of you to do that and your gf can wait a little, if you can help someone feel less anxious ######"}
{"prompt":"My family all says I am being an asshole for this but I think they are just too non confrontational but I will leave it to the internet to decide so here is the story.\n\nBackground 9 years ago my cousin got married to his his highschool sweetheart after she graduated community college. They had been living together and my cousin did not go to college as he was supporting her through college. She is accepted into a  school in (no fault state) so off they move. They have a child which He takes care of and works nights to send his wife to school. In her final years she gets a job in her field under one of her professors.  Right after graduation she tells him that she wants a divorce she has been sleeping with her boss\/professor for 2 years and now that she is no longer her teacher he is leaving his wife and they are getting married. ending their 7 year marriage. I was not informed of any of this to call her out at the time I was never actually told of the divorce just my parents told me to save the date for same cousins marriage then they told me what went down\n\nSo comes our story cousin was having a rough time of it after the divorce but eventually ran into his middle school crush they hit it off. They invite family to second wedding and put an engagement announcement on facebook. Bitch Ex wife sees the announcement and post, \"He is such a bad father He did not even ask his child if it was okay for him to get married again how will this affect her?\"\n\nso I responded in a PM \"Did you ask kidsname if it was okay with them if you cheated on daddy and  slept with your boss then divorce daddy? how do you think that will affect her?\"\n\nfamily is mad when she contacted them. am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - it was a private message so it’s not like you called her out publicly. She is only mad because you stated the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....\n\nFirst a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on\n\nSo I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a \"Virtual Birthday party\" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.\n\nI really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with \"well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception\" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as \n1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties\/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and \n2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day\" \nShe got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will \"just see what happens\" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - it takes some serious balls to tell your own daughter that her wedding isn’t about her. Wow. That isn’t just an asshole thing to say, it’s mega-asshole.\n\nETA - talk to whoever will be in charge of the mic at the reception. Let them know that if the word birthday or covid is uttered the mic is to be immediately cut off and attention redirected. Make sure the planner, event location management, caterer, or whoever know that all birthday cakes supplied by family are for the staff to consume, preferably immediately, or deposited on the trash. ######"}
{"prompt":"I am 20, living with my parents and at the moment I am the only person in my house working; my parents and younger brother have been staying home. I’ve made it a point to ONLY leave the house if I’m going to work or to do something alone, like go on a walk. We were all tested for COVID on Tuesday and all results came back negative.\n\n\nThe part of the state we are living in has not gone into “Phase 2” yet but it should be happening soon. Part of Phase 2 includes hair salons opening up. I am naturally brunette but have been blonde for the past few years and my hair isn’t looking it’s best but obviously there is much worse shit going on in the world so it’s not a big deal in the slightest. \n\n\nHowever, my dad told us today that his friend, who he hasn’t seen in like 2 months, might be coming over tomorrow. My mom and I were obviously like wtf because we’ve all done our best to socially distance and stuff and his friend coming over is a stupid move imo. So, I told him that I’m going to schedule a hair appointment (my hair girl texted me and said she’ll be opening up as soon as phase 2 starts) as soon as I can and my dad started telling me that I’m being stupid, my hair can wait, etc. I told him I could say the same thing about his friend coming over— they haven’t seen each other in 2+ months so they can wait. This all turned into a big disagreement. I don’t see an issue with me going to get my hair done when the governor says it’s okay to do so. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - It seems your dad doesn’t see how bringing his friend over and you getting your hair done is essentially the same. ######"}
{"prompt":"I don't know if this is too small stakes for this sub but it's been an issue in my immediate family and I want to know if I'm in the wrong.\n\nI proposed seven months ago with a $4000 ring. About four months ago I noticed she stopped wearing her engagement ring and I asked her why. She said she didn't want to lose it so she keeps it in a jewellery box hidden away for special occasions. I didn't press further.\n\nI found out a month ago that while this is technically true, she has told me she doesn't know where the jewellery box is. She doesn't have much jewellery so she told me it's literally just a ring box, not one of those bigger fixtures you might think when you think about jewellery boxes. She said she was actively looking for it.\n\nA week ago it got to a heated discussion about the ring where I tell her I'm disappointed she's lost it. She tells me she did not in fact lose it, but misplaced it. To me, that means the same thing. She said she hasn't had time to look for it but knows she didn't lose it (???).\n\nNow I bring it up every day, asking her if she found the ring. The answer is always no. She is getting mad at me and getting her parents to put pressure on me to drop it. She \"doesn't want to be reminded of it\". If I was in her shoes and I lost literally the most expensive thing I own, I'd be frantically looking for it, not taking this laissez-faire approach. I mean, I wouldn't have lost it anyways: I would have known where it is at any moment on any day. You don't just lose something that's $4000, right? The longer it takes for her to find it, the less likely she's going to find it, right?\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - it seems like she just doesn't want to discuss it, maybe thinking the problem will just go away if you don't mention it. This is a huge red flag, if she's this careless about a $4,000 ring, what does that say about her? I'd try and set a date where you guys both go over her place to try and find it....hopefully it'll still be there ######"}
{"prompt":"I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.  \n\n\nSo I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.\n\nI'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - it is your right as a cat (and therefore lord and master of the universe) to do as you wish. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.\n\nMe, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent. \n\nThe house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.\n\nWell one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.  \n\nI want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time. \n\nYes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content. \n\nI am a massive fucking child I know. \n\nI told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s  immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it\n\nI know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar. \n\nBut every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle. \n\nMoney also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare. \n\nSo, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ######","completion":" NTA - it is your birthday, and if she doesn't want to have fun, let her sit in the house and pout like a 5 year old. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend \\[29M\\] and I \\[23F\\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.\n\nLast night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.\n\nI thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.\n\nI just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.\n\nI realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######","completion":" NTA - it doesn’t sound like there was an agreement for you to pay half his rent. I would probably sleep at home from now on if I were you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just as the title says. \n\nI have a family full of health-nut anti-vaxxers. My cousin in Australia just had a baby and is very vocal about the fact that she is not vaccinating. I am not immuno-compromised but I have many friends who are, and I feel like it's the right thing to do so as to not spread anything to people that I care about. I have my vaccinations, I am at very low risk, and I guess I'm feeling guilty because I am technically safe to meet her baby.  I felt very confident in my decision at first but now the backlash from my family has me second guessing myself. ######","completion":" NTA - It doesn't matter that you're safe, you can still be a vector, also i seriously agree to any measure to discourage non-vaxxers, we have to state as loud as we can that this is not an ideology that has any right to be respected and that she's putting a lot of people in danger by doing this. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I recently moved to the UK and I rebound my keyboard dollar sign to £. I’m on mobile now so I can easily type both. I’m from America, and I usually talk to my mom through Facebook on my computer.\n\nNow this is a really stupid argument, which I’ll probably give in to just to keep the peace but anyway. When I was talking to my mom I mentioned I bought a new toaster, and said it was £30. She got mad and said to only use $ when talking to her. I said that my keyboard uses £ now and I use British currency in my everyday life, so why would I use $? She said when I’m talking to her I should use American dollars because I’m talking to an American.\n\nAITA if I keep using £? I probably won’t because it’s my mom but still. This isn’t normal right lol? ######","completion":" NTA - it didn't cost $30, it cost £30 which would convert to a different number. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic\n\nI’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph\n\nMy brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices\n\nWe got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha\n\nWhen my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”\n\nAITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ######","completion":" NTA - it always makes me sad to see another story about a child bride, married off before she even got to grow up. ######"}
{"prompt":"I(19F) got a summer job at a caffè that is a part of an insurance and car company. My customers are basically the employees and their customers. All the employees get free drinks and they can treat whoever they want and so can I so yesterday my friend(17F) came by for a cup of coffee. She was sitting at the bar and chatting with me for almost 2 hours and when she left two male coworkers, let's call them Ben and Carl, sat down for a drink and started talking to me.\nBen(36M): Hey Carl, did you see that hot friend of hers that came by?\nCarl(40+M): Yeah of course. She's pretty hot. Hey, OP, she's 20, right?\nMe: No, Jesus Christ she is younger than me, she's still a minor.\nBen: Damn she has curves for someone her age.\nI was disgusted beyond belief. Their conversation continued although they knew she is a minor.. \nI said to them that they are disgusting pigs because she could be their daughter(ironically, they both have young children). As my 2 female coworkers were sitting at the bar today, Carl also sat down for a drink but he sat down on my seat(that's the only place where I as a waitress can sit).\nMe: Sorry but you're in my seat.\nCarl: Oh, so you want me to get up?\nMe: It's okay, you can stay if u want.\nCarl: You know, when I was your age I would rather never sit down than disrespect someone older than me like you just have.\nCoworker: Kids today are sadly nothing like we used to be. \nI didn't say anything to them but God was I pissed off. You disrespect my MINOR friend, talk about her curves even though she is young enough to be your daughter and after all that you want to be treated with respect?? I don't think I'm the asshole here but apparently my female coworker thinks so. So, redditors, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - inform HR or their superior. The fact they would openly talk about this is in front of you is disturbing and crosses boundaries and shows a fundamental lack of knowledge of what appropriate behavior is. For your safety, your friends safety and any other unsuspecting children or women who might cross their paths please report them. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids. \n\nOur property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever. \n\nOur new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares. \n\nHowever, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that. \n\nWhen we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.\n\nWhen they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - in Texas there is the law of adverse possession.  (Essentially squatters rights) so you did what you needed done to protect your investment. ######"}
{"prompt":"My wife and I just heard from our agent that we received a full price offer on our house within a week of listing. \n\nWhat should be a happy occasion turned out to be a fight....\n\nWe’ve been working furiously to get the house in proper order to ensure a quick\/full price sale. We’ve spent nearly $5k on painting, cleaning and upgrades. \n\nOur to do list didn’t get finished by the time we went on the market, and there are a few detail jobs still left to be done. However, that didn’t prevent us from listing, and getting a full price offer quickly. \n\nWe were basking in the glow of this news tonight, when my wife told me that she still wanted to get the last few projects done to ‘clear my conscience’. I told her that I thought that was a waste of time, and that we’d already spent enough time\/money\/effort to get the result we ultimately wanted, which was a quick sale. \n\nAm I the asshole for not wanting to spend more time, money, and effort when we’ve already achieved our goal? ######","completion":" NTA - in fact, you would be the asshole if you went ahead with the projects unless it is something that is structurally wrong with the house.  For example - new countertops.  You could invest and put in the nicest (to your eye) countertops replacing the ones the buyer saw.  The buyer could then not like your taste and walk out of your deal.  I mean - perhaps they love the green Formica 1960s countertops! Or, perhaps they are going to upgrade your house when they purchase to their taste and have factored that into the price.  Don’t do anything further unless your house is literally broken and you cannot avoid it.  Even then, they will find this stuff in the inspection and you should negotiate the price for them to do it to their taste. ######"}
{"prompt":"My mom and I had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, but the past 5 years or so has been great and we talk on the phone almost every day. \n\nYesterday at 4 I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and she was short with me from the beginning. I asked her how she was and she admitted she was sad that she spent all day waiting for me to call. I explained that I had been busy, and I was worried earlier when I had free time that she would be sleeping. I spent about 5 minutes trying to talk with her, but she just kept giving me one word answers or not responding at all. At the very end when I gave up and asked to speak to my dad, she gave me a sarcastic \"Oh, of course you want to talk to dad.\" \n\nI thought things would be okay with a little time, but late last night I realized that I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. I didn't make a big post. I just changed the status, and even though it's viewable to friends, it's not showing up on everyone's timeline so it has gotten minimal attention. We've been married for months (a small ceremony with just us, our pastor, and the couple that mentored us) and all our close family and friends already know, but it's news to old high school and college friends, for example. \n\nI woke up this morning to multiple messages from my mom written in the middle of the night about how could I be so hurtful, why do I have time for Facebook but not her, why couldn't I send her a card or a gift or do something special for one day, why did Mother's Day have to be the day I made the big announcement, etc.. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - If your mom didn’t already know you were married and that’s how she found out? Sure she could be upset. But the way it really went down is no big deal. Your mom is being a drama queen. ######"}
{"prompt":"My gf went through a rough patch which involved some heavy drugs a few years back. When we got back together she promised to attend these AA\/NA meetings at our church and go to therapy. Part of the therapy involved drug testing every 6 months. Well she stopped therapy awhile ago and has been unofficially living with me.\n\nToday she sat me down and asked if she could move in. I said yes but on the condition she goes through a drug test. She completely went mad when she heard this. Saying that I'm an asshole for no trusting her and what nots. I get that she's trying to clean things up and she's been clean for a year but it's just a precaution.\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA - If your GF was actually still in recovery, the thought of taking another drug test wouldn't phase her. She is using again and probably needs a new place to stay. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my male (35) friend has a daughter (11) he isn't with her mother anymore and he gets to see his daughter maybe 4 days per fortnight.\n\nI've stayed at his house before and noticed that his daughter insists on sleeping in the same room, or same bed as her dad. It gets to the point where she throws full on tantrums, with crying and hysterics because she claims she can't sleep unless she is sleeping with an adult. She apparently sleeps in the same bed as her mother every night.  So he generally gives in to stop her tantrums.\n\nI find it really odd that she refuses to sleep in her own bed. I've never known another 11 year old that can't sleep in her own bed. \n\nI've tried to talk to him about it very gently in the past but he blows off the conversation and makes excuses for her behaviour or blames it on her mother. His daughter is a very sensitive topic for him and he lashes out whenever someone comments on his daughters weird behaviour. \n\nWould I be an asshole if I told him that it is not normal for an 11 year old to sleep in a bed with her dad and he needs to get her into therapy to address why she won't sleep in her own bed? ######","completion":" NTA - if you do it politely and gently. But yeah, this sounds like very abnormal behavior. Realistically, when parents who were together aren't anymore, they should probably get their child in therapy even if they are well adjusted. So, yeah, he should definitely be considering therapy and not excusing the behaviors. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms! \nAITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ######","completion":" NTA - if they wanted the items in the family, they’d keep them if you said no. An heirloom that’s been handed down again and again with sentimental meaning, I totally understand. Grandma’s old furniture? Nah fam. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story. \n\nI tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?\n\nSince people keep asking here is Honey  \nMy baby! https:\/\/imgur.com\/gallery\/bn8300N ######","completion":" NTA - if the dog responds to it it works. It might take a while for your friend to not use Peanut, but you changed the dog's name, so now that dog is Honey.\n\nAlso, can we see Honey :) ######"}
{"prompt":"I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink. \n\nI try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with \"maybe\" or \"we'll see\". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition. \n\nSo one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: \"this is why have roaches\" to which my siblings answered  with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - If that's the only way to get her to not be a total slob, then I don't blame you.  I'm no neat freak, but at least I have the sense not to leave garbage lying around.\n\nShould could also be depressed, too.  If this messiness is somewhat new, then something changed with your mom.  You should help her find a therapist, or someone should. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm an exec at a start-up, due to COVID we needed to lay some people off. Only about 5% of our staff and I was told to make a 1 cut in our operations and strat team. The person I chose to let go is named Sara and is like 23, and has been with us for a year.  On that team we have 5 people and a couple months back we had a happy hour and went to a bar with a bunch of people from our company. Sara got a little tipsy and I was walking by her and a couple of other women in the office on my way to the washroom at the bar when I heard her loudly say that she thinks I have the smallest dick in the office due to me being Asian and not having \"big dick energy\". This was pretty racist in my opinion but she and the other people didnt notice me pass by and hear this. \n\nI didn't change my attitude towards her or anything in any way since then but when making the layoff today I laid her off because of it. It was basically the same to lay anyone off in the dept, they all work the same and are all talented on the same level and she's a good worker. \n\nI told my buddy this and he just laughed his ass off but called me a bit of an asshole, but I don't think I am, she's racist and obviously you should be more coy about insulting the boss. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - If she's not smart enough to watch what she says around her boss, that's reason enough to let her go. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account.  It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends.  I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face.  When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone.  I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that. \n\nMy friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again.  I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.  \n\nMy sister called me a \"fucking snitch\" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues.  I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ######","completion":" NTA - if she does it again, report her to Instagram for online harassment and cyber bullying. ######"}
{"prompt":" I (22F) got a job as a secretary-murse at a doctor's office to help my family while I study. I started there 2 weeks before the quarantine. During the quarantine, the doctor shut the office down by her choice as she was pregnant and afraid of getting the virus. She hadn't hired me yet (illegal) and didn't offer to hire me during the quarantine (so that I could take the stimulus check for people whose work closed). \n\n Fast forward to a week ago, she called me to demand me to answer the phones and make prescriptions while she would be in the hospital giving birth. I said I would cover her for those days despite not being ok with her not hiring or paying me. Now, those days have passed and she's back home and wants me to keep answering etc. Which means that it will take up too much time from my studying (we had agreed that during my exams and her delivery we would completely close the office, but she took advantage of the fact that the government now allows you to do online prescriptions). Additionally, she wants to reopen the office exactly when my first exam starts (my exams moved two weeks later, so her delivery is now over and my exams are starting).\n\n I told her that I don't want to keep answering the phone and I am not going back before the exams end. She completely changed her tone while talking to me and even asked me to do a prescription \"if I can even do that being so busy\". I feel like I don't owe her anything, especially since she hasn't hired me. AITA for leaving now, her having a newborn and c section healing? ######","completion":" NTA - if she didn’t hire you how are you working for her? I’m confused ######"}
{"prompt":"My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across. \n\nA week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.\n\nThe day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.\n\nWhile I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - if she didn't reply to one text or a mail, why would she respond to another one. Incredibly rude on her part to leave your messages unread. You stepped in when she let her son down and that's something your stepson will remember. Where's your husband in all of this, why is he letting his ex talk to you like this? ######"}
{"prompt":"At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant\/ new moms and veterans. \n\nI’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude. \n\n\nI called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.\n\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - If it was for both pregnant people and vets, you could park there. You got there first, so you got the space. He can deal. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1\/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.\n\nLiving with her was detrimental to my mental\/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.\n\nShe's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.\n\nToday, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######","completion":" NTA - if it didn't work the first time, it's not going to work the 2nd time either. Her current living situation is unfortunate, but it's her problem to solve. ######"}
{"prompt":"OK so back in August I got into a car accident. A woman ran a red light and hit the side of my car. \nI went through the whole insurance claim process and she ended up denying fault. This cost me a lot of money to fix my own car as my insurance fought my claim.  \n\nAnyway, back to now. I got the news I won! The money was payed back but obviously I lost some money as a result. \nI was talking with my dad whether or not we should sue, (which I wasn’t planning on) however my dad brought up that she probably already lost her license since she was already 80 years old at the time of the accident and this probably was the reason she fought so hard to deny fault. \nNow I just feel bad. On one hand, the whole “she was 100% at fault and if she needed to lose her license because she was incompetent then she should”\nBut am I the asshole? At the end of the day I may have caused someone to lose their license??? It could’ve been an honest mistake. ######","completion":" NTA - if it bothers you that she probably lost her licence, would it bother you if you didn't do anything and she then hit a child and killed them?   \nIt would be the same as not reporting a drunk driver, just because they personally think they are good to drive doesn't make it the truth. ######"}
{"prompt":"My best friend is getting married at the end of summer and he wants to do a haka to celebrate as a part of the ceremony. I am not Polynesian, Maori, Samoan, Tongan, Australian, Kiwi, etc, etc and my friend isn’t either. We said that if we did DNA tests and if either of us turned up anything from that area, we’d do it, but we both came up without anything there. AITA for this or am I being sensitive or too PC?\n\nEdit: Neither bride or groom have heritage from there. ######","completion":" NTA - If I were asked to do a ceremonial dance from a culture that has nothing to do with me? I would decline, even if I thought it would be fun\/cool. \nI wouldn't feel good or comfortable, and would definitely feel like I was appropriating someone's culture. \n\nWhy do you think your friend is so dead-set on doing a Haka, though? Is it just something he's really interested in or admires? ######"}
{"prompt":"Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.\n\nWIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?\n\nEDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######","completion":" NTA - If he's 8 and physically able to do so he should be able to wipe himself. If he's not able to do so, your parents should make no expectations of you being his caretaker at 15 years old. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising\/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.\n\nTonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said \"another shitty diaper to change\" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.\n\nGranted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).\n\nIt upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?\n\nWhen I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.\n\nHe wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.\n\nI feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - If he wants another child he needs to commit taking care of the first one first. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for \nabout 5 1\/2 months, and I quit martial arts \nbecause I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its \"dangerous\" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.\n\nHe says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself. \n\nI told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a \"horrible boyfriend\" and makes me not do the things I like. \n\nEven though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with. \n\nI don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?\n\nalso sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######","completion":" NTA - if he starts being controlling about your sport choices after 5 months of relationship he might keep on that path which is a no go. Good that you stood on your grounds! ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account as my Family knows my Main.\n\nMy sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled.\n\nI am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment. I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time.\n\nMy sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live. It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.\n\nWithout ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch. I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially.\n\nMy parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece. My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the Asshole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA? ######","completion":" NTA - If everyone is calling and screaming at you, they could easily just chip in their money to support her themselves.  Not your responsibility.  Don't give her a key and the problem is solved... sorta. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m a 27 year old Asian guy. Half my friends are other Asian guys. My girlfriend is a 25 year old white girl. \n\nRecently, due to intense work stress, I’ve decided to seek counseling. I believe it would help me handle the streets a lot. \n\nI told my girlfriend this, and she was nice enough to find me a list of people she believed could help; however, I already had someone in mind (an Asian guy) recommended from a friend. \n\nMany of the issues I’ve faced stem from being Asian. For example, I’ve faced racism as a child. More recently, I’ve been forced to eliminate White\/Asian guys from an internship applicant pool due to not qualifying for diversity quotas (programs where only certain minorities and women can apply to) despite being extremely highly qualified, and people that have taken the effort to network with me while most of the diversity applicants haven’t (this isn’t to insulate that diversity candidates are necessarily less qualified, just that since the program is diversity focused, the non diversity kids that choose apply are typically high caliber non-diversity kids). There are also other Asian related issues I’d want to talk about but won’t here so as to not cause a shitstorm. \n\nAll this has led to a lot of stress from office politics that I just want to get off my chest. The problem has arisen in that when I told my girlfriend that, she said I was being racist and\/or sexist for only wanting an Asian guy as a counselor. ######","completion":" NTA - I’m white and my husband is Japanese. We were having some problems in our marriage and needed to find a counselor, and it was absolutely critical to him that that counselor be Japanese. He wanted someone who could understand his culture and frame of reference without having to explain too much. And I totally respected that, because I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible through the process, otherwise what’s the point? For example, one little problem I brought up was how he never flirted with me anymore but I witnessed exchanges between him and female friends that came across as flirty. Our counselor pinpointed the problem exactly as cultural, meaning she knew that was a common behavior for married Japanese men (flirting with your own spouse is seen as awkward) but she explained to him that I, however, am not Japanese and he needed to be more affectionate towards me because I needed that. He really appreciated that she knew where he was coming from, even though ultimately she recommended him changing. \n\nAnyway, your girlfriend needs to understand that having that deep commonality is really important for some people to be able to open up 100% in therapy\/counseling. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.\n\nMy living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.\n\nMy neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.\n\nApparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were \"flying free\" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.\n\nI told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I’m sorry but this is SO FUNNY! SHES the perv here. You’re in your fkn home ffs xD Tell her to stop being a Nosey Nancy and enjoy her walks. \n\n(I really thought this was gonna be a case of a gross male relative, thank god it wasn’t!) ######"}
{"prompt":"I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter \"letters\" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.\n\nThe other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me \"letters\". My name is Colette.\n\nI told her: It's her nickname for you. \n\nColette: that's weird\n\nme:Do you not like being called \"letters\"\n\nColette: not really\n\nme:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.\n\nColette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.\n\nThat night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.\n\nThat last part pissed me off. I told her \"what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.\n\nAita for using that kind of language with my mil. ######","completion":" NTA - I’m honestly just sort of in disbelief your MIL could be old enough to be a grandma and act like that. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?\n\nLast summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding. \n\nI am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######","completion":" NTA - I'm half wondering if she maybe lost them somehow or the files got corrupted (both are unfortunately things that could happen). At this point I would try asking if something happened to the photos and say you would rather just know and proceed with the retakes then be kept in the dark. And if its not then say you need an explanation on why you still don't have them ######"}
{"prompt":"So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.\n\nI coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.\n\nI did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says. \n\nThis was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.\n\nBut AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######","completion":" NTA - I'm a teacher myself and in my opinion it's your name and your authority and relationship with the kids.  You get to choose what you want them to call you.  Unless a school\/gym has specifc policies about how they address you, who cares.  Even then a part of me feels like ultimately it's your choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin's birthday is coming up and she had asked me about a week ago if I'd be willing to to draw her OC's (orginal characters) for her instead of getting her a present. I normally never agree to do free work for people, because it can very quickly snowball out of control if someone heard I was doing free work, but since she's my family and it's her birthday  I agreed to do it. However, once she sent me the details of what she wanted I very quickly backed out.\n\nWithout going into too much detail she wanted some NSFW (not safe for work) art of her OC's doing some very NSFW things to each other. I let her know that I don't do NSFW stuff, but would still be willing to draw her characters as long as we kept things PG-13. No judgement or anything like that, just letting her know that I wasn't comfortable with doing NSFW stuff. She didn't take it well and this led into several days worth of angry texts and phone calls between the two of us that eventually culminated in me telling her to find someone else to take the commission and her writing a melodramatic rant on her Facebook and Instagram about how I was slut shaming and kink shaming her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I wouldn’t call up a wedding photographer and ask him to shoot my porn video. Context matters in art. And you get to pick what you draw. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m gonna be honest, I’m already pretty sure I’m nta, but I want a different view, my older brother is a very entitled 18 yr old, and a couple times he has barged into my room without knocking, it started a couple years ago when I just got my phone and would stay up too late on it, it would mess with his internet connection to play games so he would try to catch me on it by barging into my room, he didn’t get into trouble for it then bc technically I shouldn’t of been on my phone, but after all of that he would just bathe in to my room for whatever, I would get mad and tell our parents, they’d say if he did again they’d take away his Xbox, and then he’d stop, and then do it again like a month later. Apparently it’d be too long since the first time so they would just tell him not to do it again, there’s even been times where I just wouldn’t say anything to my parents trying to be reasonable, just for him to do it again. He’s gone into full blown arguments about why he shouldn’t have to knock in his house and I’m a brat, he’s totally untrustworthy and would get me in trouble for anything possible, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation since I’m 15 F\n\nTLDR: my older brother thinks he shouldn’t have to knock on my door, I strongly disagree \nAita ######","completion":" NTA - i would just start sitting around naked oersonally but i am petty ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ######","completion":" NTA - I think your dad is confusing sexual orientation\/gender identity with sexual activity. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, I’m a bit lost. My family is angry at me and my friends are saying I was in the right. \n\nDue to me being an idiot, I now have a second switch. I thought my first Nintendo switch was broken, but turns out the problem was with my tv. So both work fine. I figured I’d sell my first one and put the money towards paying off my credit card or getting a ps5. \n\nMy dad, upon hearing this, immediately suggested I give the switch to my brother. Give. For free. He can’t even afford a game for the console, let alone the console itself. Am I also meant to give up my games to him?\n\nMy brother made my teenage years hell. He stole from me, threatened me, he is the reason I moved out 5 years ago and never looked back. I admit, I’m bitter. So very bitter. So when my dad suggested I give him the switch, I laughed and hung up.\n\nNow my family are angry I’m not willing to give up a perfectly functional Nintendo switch, that I’m not using, for free. Apparently i’m being selfish. Am I the asshole? I don’t owe him anything, but I’m really biased about this so I could be wrong. ######","completion":" NTA - I think most people would’ve laughed too! Would definitely recommend paying off your debt first though, PS5 is still a good few months away ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.\n\nI've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.\n\nI found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.\n\nI was pissed and \"quit\" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.\n\nNow this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well. \n\nMy dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.\n\nI declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.\n\nThe family restaurant however, is going under.  \n\nNow there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I saw in one of your comments that you don’t get along with your step mom and she has children of her own. Let’s be realistic, she would probably leave the business to them and not you. You needed to take control of your life and it’s good you have your own business now. Your fathers restaurant isn’t failing because of you, it’s because he can’t adapt. ######"}
{"prompt":"My father left when I was very young and I was raised primarily by my mother, she died a few years ago and I've had no interest in ever getting in contact with my father. My GF has always wanted me to get in contact with him because she thinks she's some sort of therapist and all my \"issues\" come from a lack of a father figure.\n\nWithout checking with me she tracked him down, told him I want to get in contact and then gave him my number. He called me and I told him to piss off and blocked his number after he told me how he got his number.\n\nWe got into a massive argument where I said she had no right to meddle in my life, called her a cunt and hung up. I have no intention of speaking to her until we're allowed outside again and I'm considering just breaking up over this.\n\nHer friend texted me to tell me how upset my GF is and that I'm a horrible person so doing this to her. ######","completion":" NTA - I remember a similar post over a year ago where OP's fiance contacted and invited his estranged family to their wedding.  He had cut them off because they were abusive and she decided to bring them into their lives because she wanted to get to know them.   He cancelled the wedding and broke up with her immediately.\n\nEdit: sorry guys I can't find the link.  I really wanted to read it again. ######"}
{"prompt":"I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!\n\nI have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face. \n\nWhen carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair. \n\nMy husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth &amp; on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head\/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.\n\nHis reasons are:\n1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)\n2- he says it is not manly \n3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID). \n\nThis turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty? \n\nSo Reddit. Am I the asshole?\n\nTLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ######","completion":" NTA - I mean it's only for a few weeks anyway. Not manly? What sort of bullshit is that? You know what's not \"manly\"? Not stepping up to help your injured wife when she can't do something herself.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the award! My first one. ######"}
{"prompt":"So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I mean I don’t understand why you just didn’t... create an account for her in the first place... but anyway, you explained it to her and she said she understood and wouldn’t do it. Yet she still did it. You aren’t wrong here, even if it may seem childish to most people. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I love lending books to people but I also have some books I won't lend because I'm worried about not getting them back. They are your property, you don't have to lend them if you don't want to. ######"}
{"prompt":"This sounds like a dick move, but hear me out. My younger brother (12) has been playing Fortnite continuously every day for this entire “break”. He recently lost his Xbox power cord to our dad for not doing the dishes and other chores that were not completed, but he still has his phone. Because he isn’t downstairs playing Xbox, he is playing Fortnite videos on YouTube at stupid high volume level. He will sit in my room and watch them, and I’ve asked him multiple times to turn it down, as I’m also trying to play my Xbox with some friends, and need to be able to hear them. He largely ignores me and says “it’s not that loud”. For context, I’m also a weeb, and enjoy a variety of Sub and Dub anime. And I thought that if he won’t turn his volume down, I won’t either. He is not a fan of anime at all, and has asked me in the past to not watch it near him because he “thinks the voices are too high pitched and creepy.” So I thought when we eat lunch (my dad is working right now and we are home alone) I can turn my sub anime to the max, and make him understand that it’s rude to do things like this. ######","completion":" NTA - I know you said your door doesn't have a lock but would your dad be opposed to using a door stop (a small wedge shaped piece of rubber or wood pushed tight under your door) to keep your brother out? It's your room and he has no business in there unless you invite him in. ######"}
{"prompt":"When my wife was younger she lived off takeaways or she didn't eat, her dad would buy her 2litre bottles  of coke when she was 6+ so she never really had that healthy relationship with food, she also never got to leave the house unless it was for school.\n\nShe is obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, this became worse when we had children (13F,11F,4M)\n\nThe children love exercise and that's great, our eldest is in football and track and our other daughter is in gymnastics and ballet.\n\nMy wife loves making them eat healthy too, their breakfast this morning was a spinach and tuna wrap with a fruit salad on side \n\n\nTheir lunch is going to be Shaved Carrot and Radish Salad.\n\nThey're allowed one cheat snack a week but the rest of the time they're only allowed fruit or vegetables and that's great but they should be allowed stuff like biscuits in my opinion.\n\nThis is where the problem has started, I'm a little frustrated at the food because let them be kids and stop taking your own issues out on them,  then while they're playing video games in the study she comes in trying to get our eldest to come out and play football in the garden with her and the youngest.\n\nHer; hey *eldest* come play football with me and your brother? Better than sitting around all day and not being productive!\n\nMe; babe, kids are allowed to have some lazy days it's fine!\n\nHer; no it isn't! They should be out exercising, getting fresh air, NOT getting eye strain on the console\n\n(Their screen time used to be 2hrs a week on xbox)\n\nI may have snapped and told her to leave the children alone.\n\nShe got all teary eyed and we haven't spoken since.\n\nI thought I was in the right but after speaking to my sister she says I was the AH\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I hate this mindset that you need to be productive at all hours. Even the world's geniuses had downtime. Schopenhauer used to go on walks with his poodle. People need relaxation and this capitalist bull of \"always be working\" can lead to so many complexes and contribute to mental illness. Sounds like your wife is on a good road to fuck your kids up in a different direction, you guys need to talk it out, maybe with the help of a therapist.\n\nEdit to add: shaved carrots isn't lunch for growing kids. I say this as a salad loving vegan. They need more carbs. ######"}
{"prompt":"I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######","completion":" NTA - I hate surprise visits! It never fails that there is some kind of mess or I look awful. Everything in the house will look perfect until that one surprise visit. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm sitting at my computer working when my wife asks me to come help her in the yard. No problem, my eyes could use a break anyway. I go and move the planter she needed moved and get back to work. \n\n5 minutes later she asks me to move it back. Fine, whatever. \n\nEvery time I get back to my desk it's something new. The dog needs water and her hands are dirty, can you bring me my gloves, will you hang those curtain rods, the list goes on. \n\nAfter about 45 minutes she notices my agitation. \n\nWife: Is everything ok? You seem irritated.\n\nMe: I am irritated, because you're irritating me. \n\nWife: I don't deserve to be talked to like that. \n\nMe: Well I don't deserve to be interrupted every 5 minutes while I'm trying to work. I've read the first paragraph of this management plan 6 times in the last 45 minutes because you constantly need something. You're an independent woman, figure it out. \n\nWife: You're an asshole. \n\nSo? Am I? ######","completion":" NTA - I hate being interrupted while I'm trying to work. If I start a task and get distracted I have to start all over again. You're good! ######"}
{"prompt":"I give my daughter a lot of compliments. Great writer, very funny, selfless, smart, great artist, etc. I'll also tell her she is beautiful every now and then. My daughter is 16.\n\n\nShe had recenly gotten some new clothes shipped to our house. She changed into her new clothes and I told her she looked beautiful. She thanked me and gave me a hug.\n\n\nLater my wife berated me for calling her beautiful and noted she had heard me call her beautiful before. She says it will make her worry too much about her looks and her fashion. She said its sexist. She said this might reinforce her into thinking buying new clothes is how she will get compliments\/be beautiful. We are still arguing about this. Am I the crazy one?? Am I the asshole?? ######","completion":" NTA - I get what your wife was on about but as long as you also compliment her about other things that aren't appearance-related (which it sounds like  you do) there's nothing wrong with saying someone looks beautiful when they're showing off new clothes. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? \n\nSo first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going\/ what we are doing. \n\nSo anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ######","completion":" NTA - I feel like this is too blatantly obvious that he's the asshole here to be real but meh, I'll give a judgement anyways. Your husband is insecure, rude, and controlling not to mention ridiculous. You should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear which you feel comfortable in. ######"}
{"prompt":"As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!\n\nI don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense. \n\nFast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.  \n\nNow, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell. \n\nI told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin. \n\nSo, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)\n\nThey were argumentative, so I told my cousin. \n\nOf course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result. \n\nSomebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.  \n\nAITA, and if so, why? ######","completion":" NTA - I feel like a lot of people posting that you’re the asshole have never had to deal with anything similar. Depriving someone of knowing their biological family is really fucked up, and can lead to identity issues later on. You have your aunts time to tell her themselves, and it appears you have your cousin’s best interest at heart. A lot of people claim that it wasn’t your place, and although that’s technically true, it’s your aunts fault for lying in the first place. How old was your cousin when you told them? ######"}
{"prompt":"So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.\n\nMe (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.\n\nWe started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.\n\nSo here is why I might be the AH:\n\nMy friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.\n\nThen came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.\n\nSo reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ######","completion":" NTA - I feel bad for her but you worked hard and if you made progress you deserve to show it off. It's not like you're shoving it in her face and posting with the sole intent of making her feel bad ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles. \n\nYesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.\n\nAITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######","completion":" NTA - I enjoy watching movies with subtitles too and I have no hearing issues. It's the same as you, it helps me understand the movie much better. There are movies I've seen in the cinema that I enjoy much better when I watch them again at home because when I watch them again I have subtitles and I can follow things much easier. Your brother is definitely the asshole for the way he reacted and spoke to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######","completion":" NTA - I don't understand how anyone can be so forgetful as to leave shoes at a beach. Especially shoes she was borrowing. She owes you a new pair, plain and simple. It doesn't matter what you paid for them, they were your property. You've made suggestions and have even tried to keep reasonable pricing in mind. You're willing to accept second hand ones if the quality is there.\n\nWhen you break, damage or lose someone else's property you have a responsibility to make it right as best you can. It sounds like she can, she has the means, she just doesn't want to. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.\n\n  \nSince I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: \"Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her,\" and they'll just respond with an \"I know, right?\" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.\n\n Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.\n\n He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me\/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of \"Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol.\"   \nI know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I don't know the medical term forvthis, but there are lots of people who really have an aversion for being touched! I think you should look into it more or maybe ask your doctor. This isn't about you being a rude person, you have some sort of condition ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######","completion":" NTA - I don't care if he's uncanceled it, if you are sick, you shouldn't go ######"}
{"prompt":"Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.\n\nOne day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.\n\nI yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her. \n\nThe next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.\n\nI tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )\n\nI was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.\n\nWhen I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.\n\nI just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.\n\nThis is where we are at now AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I do not think your wife is very well. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids.  Today my wife received a call from the  principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair.  I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos.  My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times.   I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ######","completion":" NTA - I cannot believe the principal called you. Is this really the best use of the principal’s time? Ridiculous. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.\n\nI've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her\/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.\n\nI also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.) \n\nI decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.\n\nShe said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.\n\nShe spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ######","completion":" NTA - I can't think of a better way for you to have dealt with this, you did the exact right thing. It seems that the truth hurt, but that is not your problem and as you said, she is the only one that can make herself happy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Jesus this is very, very weird.\n\nSo, for starters I am biracial (23F). African American and Hispanic. \n\nSo basically my roommate (24F) and I were talking and chilling together since none of us could go home.\n\nWe were talking about our respective partners and shit when she started telling me about her sex life. Normally I love to hear weird or fun stories about sex which people willingly share with me but this one was just really weird.\n\nSo apparently my roommate and her boyfriend have this kink called raceplay BDSM. Where my roommate pretends to be a black slave and her boyfriend pretends to be a slave owner. They're both very white.\n\nI felt really uncomfortable when she went into the details and I told her to stop as it seemed very racist to me. I also told her that the kink is making me uncomfortable and told her to not talk about it with me in the future.\n\nShe waved off my request and kept reassuring me that it's nothing racist and I shouldn't be \"triggered\". She didn't stop even after I told her to so I got upset and went back to my room.\n\nShe isn't talking to me and it's all very stressful to me in this situation, I want to know if I was in the wrong so I could apologise.\n\nI don't know what to feel about this tbh. \n\nAITA for calling my friend racist for having a certain kink?\n\nEdit: I should add that I try to be a non-judgmental person in most cases and I usually listen to her sex stories without any judgement. I feel bad for alienating her like this, this is why I posted this here. ######","completion":" NTA - I can't even imagine being so broke-brained that I'd bring up my raceplay kink to a biracial person. Or bring it up at all to anyone. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throughout our time together, my SO told me that she was allergic to peanuts. I made sure that all of our dishes didn’t contain peanuts, and that I would only eat them outside of the house.\n \nYesterday, her lie got found out. My parents gave me some Indian food, they’re Indians, I was going to label that the Biryani had peanuts, but I guess I had a brain fart. She began to eat it. I knew something was wrong when I saw her eating it, when I suddenly realized what happened.\n \nI literally tossed her spoon from her hand. I told her that the Biryani has peanuts in it. She just goes “Oh, I’m not allergic to peanuts; I just hate the taste of it”. I was really mad; she was lying about such an important thing. I’ve been unnecessarily taking extra precautions so she doesn’t even breathe in peanut particles. She’s calling me an asshole for being mad at her. \n \nShe lied throughout our entire relationship. I don’t know what other things she has lied about. Is her name really Rebecca? Is she really a woman?\n \nBut seriously, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - I can kind of understand the initial lie, because a lot of the time when you say you don't like an ingredient people try to convince you that you'll love it the way they use it. But even if it seemed like a small lie to her, it's something she should have explained as your relationship became more serious. \n\nAlso, you went to great lengths to accommodate what you believed to be her allergy and she shouldn't have let that continue. ######"}
{"prompt":"Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######","completion":" NTA - I bought my gf an expensive 100 euros bottle and she barely uses it on special occasions and as little as possible.\n\nShe would set fire to the house if someone else would just touch that bottle. I can understand. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he  played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not\/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ######","completion":" NTA - I bet he’d be disappointed if she went to the spa the day after he had so much as a simple vasectomy, let alone, if he went in for something far more emotionally and physically serious.\n\n “Coping mechanism” isn’t an excuse; if they lost a child or even a step son that was only biologically his, and she elected to “cope” this way, even if to deal with her own grief, *by playing games with her other friends* when her husband was alone at home and desperately needed her support, people wouldn’t be so quick to excuse her behavior. \n\nWhen a man backs out of supporting his wife through a loss or failed conception, people seem to get far more motivated to seek out and validate his excuses.\n\nThere really aren’t even any analogies, that are remotely comparable to what she’s experiencing first hand, which is why he should probably wake up and stop being so selfish... even if avoiding her for his usual frivolities, and games, is just how he “copes” with challenging times. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (21F) boyfriend (26M) plays video games until the early hours of the morning most nights. I've suffered from depression for as long as we have been together (2 years), and disruptions to my sleep negatively impact my mental health. I've explained this to my boyfriend and asked him to be quieter when he comes to bed, but nothing has changed. \n\nHe is loud when he plays his video games, often yelling and chasing, and when he comes to bed he often wants to cuddle and talk to me (which otherwise would be fine, but not at 2am when I am trying to sleep). \n\nWith classes etc being online now, it's important for me to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable hour (i.e., 10pm to 7-8am), otherwise I will get into the habit of sleeping all day and my mental health always worsens.\n\nWIBTA for asking him to sleep on the couch on nights he wants to stay up really late, rather than inevitably waking me up when he comes to bed? I feel like this might be a bit extreme, but my sleep is very closely tied to my mental health and I have been struggling as a result of being woken up so often. ######","completion":" NTA - I (30\/F) sleep like a 80 yr old grandpa. I snore loud as f*ck, especially when stressed or tired. So on days where the husband (30\/M) has to go into work at 5AM for IT emergencies, he lets me know and he volunteers to sleep elsewhere or I volunteer to sleep elsewhere the night before. It's respectful and considerate of eachother. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June\/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.\n\nI love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.\n\nI pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats). \n\nI mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day. \n\nMy friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - How in the world did she think HER cats suddently became YOUR problem. There are plenty of other chores you can do around the house. If she is getting tired of caring for them, she shouldn't have gotten them. It's not fair to push that on you. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (19M) friend (20M) likes to bake. He’s made some cakes and other desserts for people and has transported it to peoples’ door step safely throughout the pandemic. Right now, I am living at home with my parents due to the quarantine. He offered to bring me some brownies, and I agreed and thanked him. I also let him know that I am deathly allergic to peanuts, and he told me not to worry. \n\nLater, the brownies are dropped off, and I thank him again. I decide to share them with my family because it was a pretty big pan. My mom ate one, then quickly let me know that it tasted like peanut. I texted my friend and told him what my mom said, just to confirm. He responded by telling me that “he forgot” about my allergy, despite my warning that they could kill me.\n\nI got really angry. I told him that he could have killed me, and I was lucky that I wasn’t the first to eat one. He replied by telling me that it was just a simple misunderstanding, and that my anger was unjustified. I told my parents, and my mom thinks I overreacted, but my dad took my side. My other friends seem pretty divided as well. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - how could he forget? You told him you could die, a good friend would have made sure it didn't even come close to peanut. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed\/give water\/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine. \n\nWhen I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush? \n\nProblem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush. \n\nI didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping. \n\nThat was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising\/not telling her? ######","completion":" NTA - how are you going to know what she’s going to do? She should have discussed what she planned so you could have known to warn her. The breakdown of information flow is on her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her. \n\nI got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######","completion":" NTA - Honestly, I'm tired of people thinking you have to deal with toxic people just because they're your blood. If she treated you badly in the past, and she isn't a big part of your support system today, she shouldn't feel entitled just because she's your sister. Also, it is your big day, so it's not really about her.\n\nReally, ask yourself if you really want her to be a part of it. If your gut-feeling is no, then you don't have to stand for it. You really don't need to explain why you think so to anyone. It's about you. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends\/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.\n\nA couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me. \nHowever, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling\/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.\n\nI finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.\n\nNow I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay. \nWhat should I do? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Hey behavior was very inappropriate. She was breaking boundaries and was probably trying to use you as a way to get back with your brother. ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?\n\nMy childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist. \n\nWe normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore. \n\nWe still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt. \n\nI eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”. \n\nThen I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable. \n\nShe cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######","completion":" NTA - Her mental health isn't your responsibility. Putting that burden (and yes it is a burden to put your mental health on someone else) on you is horrible. \n\nI get that it's hard for her, but it's not your job to help her. She's not going to get anywhere with her problems without getting a therapist. Also who TF is her boyfriend and why isn't HE helping her? Honestly fuck him. She's not your girlfriend, she's not even a good friend. \n\nShe's pressuring you to take on all her problems and it's obviously negative to your own health. Cut her off, she's toxic, tell her she can come back and talk to you when she starts acting like a grown up and agrees to go to therapy. \n\nI have tons of friends who've gone through bad shit and yes, I've been there for them when they needed me, but they never dumped their shit on me and they reached out for help from therapist when they could. And they're doing great now. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays. \n\nSometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights \"fend for yourself night\". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.\n\n I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######","completion":" NTA - her kids will probably end up being the ones who burn ramen noodles in a college dorm because they never learned how to do anything for themselves. \n\nIts not wrong to not cook every single night for your kids who are old enough to cook for themselves or make a sandwich. ######"}
{"prompt":"Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family. \nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - her actions got her arrested and got her a record. All you did was protect your family from future abuse ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.\n\nWe have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves. \n\nHis health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.\n\nHe promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!\n\nSo I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family. \n\nI work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats. \n\nAm I TA here for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA - he’s only using “supporting the family” as a cover-up excuse to overwork. Ask him this, if he’s so willing to be nice to his colleagues and sacrifice his time and himself for them, why can’t he do the same for his family instead? ######"}
{"prompt":"We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nIts worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######","completion":" NTA - he’s not the only person in the apartment whose schedule matters.  If he made a habit of sleeping in til 2pm, would he expect you to be silent until then?  10 am is a perfectly reasonable cutoff for quiet hours to be over.\n\nDude needs to go live by himself, if he wants to be the only one who matters. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account.\n\nSo, this happened a couple of days ago. I asked a couple of friends about this, and one of them suggested I should write and ask about it here. I’m not a native speaker, so excuse my mistakes.\n\nI (26F) have a 2 year old son. I was having a conversation with a friend and mentioned that my son doesn’t really like to shower, but loves baths, so when I do prepare a bath for him we usually bathe together. I bring all kinds of toys and cups, because he loves to spill water on himself and even more when he splashes it at my face. If you ask me it’s a win-win situation. I can wash my hair and his at the same time, and he loves the play time with me in there.\n\nThe response I got was not what I expected. She looked actually disgusted. She said what I was doing is very inapropriate especially because he is a boy and that I’m emotionally and possibly sexually abusing my son. I disagreed and we had a huge fight. When I told my other friend what happened she said she sees her point and maybe I shouldn’t do this anymore.\n\nI am so confused and I’m wondering if AITA for bathing with my son? Am I abusing him? ######","completion":" NTA - He's only two. I'd be worried more about your friends assuming a sexual element to it. ######"}
{"prompt":"i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother. \n\ni absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’. \n\ni do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######","completion":" NTA - He's not just \"being helpful\" because for that to be the case, his comments would need to be constructive in the first place. It makes you feel uncomfortable and it's not his place to make comments because a.) he doesn't know what he's talking about and b.) you have your mother to help you with those types of issues. Him being the parent has nothing to do with it. Ask your mom to sort things out with him; maybe then he'll see reason. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.\n\nAnd one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently. \n\nThis disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ######","completion":" NTA - He's not going to be happy anywhere if he doesn't get treatment. I also have anxiety and depression and I day dream a looot about different plans on what I think will fix me but that's not how it works. \nAlso you shouldn't have to up and move just because that's what he wants to do. ######"}
{"prompt":"Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50\/50 on this. \n\n\nWe are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######","completion":" NTA - he's looked at just one place? Only one place? Why not more? Why isn't he looking for a place that can accommodate a dog (i assume he is familiar with said dog)? Seems like he hasn't got your best interests at heart. Don't move without your dog. ######"}
{"prompt":"So my son (16M) has developed this \"*little habit*\" of either throwing cutlery out or leaving it under his bed to go mouldy and mo matter how much you boil those of- you dont exactly want to eat off them anymore, I'm done spending and spending and spending just for them to be chucked.\n\nSo, I got him reusable  ones (they're basically made out of straw and wheat?) instead and told him to chuck them out as much as he wants, if he manages to reuse them then he can be trusted to eat off normal cutlery.\n\nHe said I was \"putting him down\" pulling a \"power move\" \"degrading him\" and all that etc, he's currently moody in his bedroom.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - he's limiting the rest of the family's use of normal cutlery by throwing them out and causing a potential health hazard by leaving them to grow mouldy under his bed. If he wants to treat normal cutlery like disposable cutlery then getting him disposable cutlery is fine IMO. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city. \n\nMy father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.  \n\nMy father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling. \n\nI don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them. \n\nSo WIBTA? \n\nTLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######","completion":" NTA - He will come up with another way of controlling you and will most likely try to pick your husband for you.  It may end up being someone you are not attracted to at all.  Plus if you give in then he will know your weakness and exploit it any chance he gets.  He will not change and the sooner you learn that the better things will get. ######"}
{"prompt":"Hello, i'm a 24 year old Man, and recently somethings happened, i recently moved in to a new neighborhood, and started recycling my trash, and even bought special trash bins for that, no longer after, my neighbour started saying that my \"hippie trash\" was appearing at his frontyard, and demanded that i payed him to clean it, or put a special blocking fence so that any racoons did the same thing again, i got confused because there were no racoons along the neighborhood, but i payed him and built the fencing, and even started to think about getting cameras, the next week my neighbour said the same thing, and said he was calling the cops if i didn't do anything, i paid him again, cleaned his frontyard and decided to instal cameras, three days after i installed the cameras, i woke up with him almost breaking my door because of trash again, i tried to calm him down while he started calling the cops, i then checked the cameras to discover that not only it wasn't racoons, but himself was taking my trash, and putting in his frontyard so i could pay him and clean, i lost almost 2,000 dollars in him, and i got furious, i knocked on his door, and asked if he had called the cops, he said he didn't did it \"yet\", so i called them myself, after showing the recordings and explaining the story, he was arrested and was taken away, but now i feel guilty, (i forgot to say he has a 3 year old daughter, that he takes care alone), i don't know if i did right, so, Am i the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - he was the one who chose to scam you, now he needs to pay for it ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a short story, I live in England, born and raised, a friend of mine who I've known for years since we were in primary school once asked me if he could use my debit card to buy the DLCs for Grand Theft Auto IV on his XBOX 360, I agreed for him to do it He then returned my card to me and said he would pay be back. e didn't. He left my card details on his xbox for a couple of months making unauthorised purchases, to the point when my bank statement came in and it showed tonnes of money being poured out from my account, I then confronted him showing him the bank statements, I then went on his XBOX and I found my card details still there. I was pissed off at him for doing this as in REALLY PISSED I then removed my card, I then called up Microsoft asking them to refund my money and they kindly did, I then cutoff contact with him and never saw him again.\nLast I heard of him was when I tried to contact me i then blocked him. Haven't heard of him in ages.\n\nAm I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - he was taking advantage of the trust your friendship developed, then repeatedly disregarded how his actions affected you when using your stuff.\n\nas an xbox user, i'm very aware of any purchase i make b\/c i hate spending money. I can only image the heightened awareness when using someone else card information.\n\nalso, as someone who's loaned small amounts of money to friends, i learned after the 20th or 30th time that it causes more problems than just refusing or keeping the belief that  i never have additional funds.\n\nYou made a good move to remove a person that takes advantage of relationships. ######"}
{"prompt":" First post, bear with me.\n\nI don't know if I'd classify my dad as a full-on Karen, but he definitely toes the line. The classic leave-the-mess-because-it's-their-job, ask-for-the-manager-if-the-food-is-late type. What really annoys me is that he never says please or thank you. I know it's not a big deal per se, but I think it's just basic manners and I call him out on it sometimes. I don't do it in front of the waiter, so it's not like I'm publicly humiliating him or anything, but he still gets very defensive.\n\nMost recently, I reminded him again to say please after ordering (probably not in the most respectful tone, I'll admit) and he just glared at me and said, \"I don't understand why you have to criticize me on everything I do.\" I assume he said that because earlier in the meal I had asked him to not chew with his mouth open (which is another thing I've asked of him to not do a thousand times before, but that's a post for another day).  Am I being unreasonable? Should I just give up? AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - he should definitely be showing more respect to everyone else, and needs to be called out on it. Also eating with an open mouth is disgusting. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad's almost 50. The girl was a college cheerleader for a sports team, and the daughter of a family friend. As far as I can tell she's like 24 at most, and she could have easily passed for younger. Like, if I saw her in my high school I would have totally thought she was a senior or something. I'm 15. My dad was talking about her and was like \"oh, she's hot\" and was basically being really weird. I think it's kinda creepy to say things like that when there's that big of an age difference, not to mention the whole family friend thing. I told him as much. He got mad at me and said \"what's the problem, we're all adults, it's not creepy at all\". I personally think that that saying things like that definitely gives creepy old guy vibes at the very least, and that it's very inappropriate and disrespectful to say things like that about the daughter of a family friend. Like, life's not a porno, man, have some standards. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - he reacted like that specifically because you're right ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in?  No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ######","completion":" NTA - He PEED in your CUP!? That is so disgusting, disrespectful, and rude. He has no regard for your things if he can just desecrate them like that. You have *every* right to be pissed off, I mean that's so gross! He's a grown man who could have gone literally anywhere else to relieve himself. He made a repulsive decision, and I sure hope you gave him a really stern talk. If it was me, I would dipped. ######"}
{"prompt":"I grew up with an air hockey table. My parents got it for my older sister when I was 5 years old. So, I grew up playing the game. Naturally, I'm pretty decent at it and I absolutely love to play\n\nMy husband and I were at the boardwalk when we noticed a air hockey table. Of course I dragged him over so we can play.\n\nHe immediately started smack talking me. He used to play in high school, he always won in high school, he was the best player of his group, it wasn't Blah fair because he'd dominate me....BLAH BLAH \n\nCHALLENGE ACCEPTED \n\nSo, I let him win the first game. It was best out of 10 oh, so the first game didn't cost me anything and it allowed me to learn his play style\n\nHe didn't win another game oh, he didn't score another Point either\n\nHe was so upset. He says it's unfair but I didn't tell him that I was so good at it oh, he says it was unfair that I let him win so easily the first game. He still says that I cheated and rigged the table somehow. And 5 years later he still refuses to play air hockey with me\n\nThough he did watch and laugh as I demolished his baby brother ######","completion":" NTA - he needs to grow up. It's a game. I, for one, would be hilariously humbled and impressed at being so roundly beaten. \n\nIf I was going to get into any sort of argument, it'd be where to put the air hockey table we're gonna buy so I can practice. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad recently laughingly told us a story about how almost 20 years ago he took a job in a different state, listed and sold the house without my moms knowledge. My mom only found out because a friend of theirs was looking for a new house in the area and her agent showed her my parents house. At the time my oldest sibling was 5, my second sibling was 3 and I was only a few months old. My mom had just quit her job because the pay was about the same as paying for childcare. My dad I guess thought that since he was the one working, it was only his decision on if the entire family moved or not. When my mom found out I guess she took me to a friends house for a few days, but ultimately went back and went along with the move. The entire time my dad is telling this story, it’s clear he thinks it’s hilarious. I thought it was upsetting, especially as I new how much my mom loved the area they lived and the friends they had-she still talks about it to this day as being some of the happiest times. It really pissed me off how funny he found it. So I said “well if I was in moms position, I would have Divorced you” Apparently I over stepped. My dad got really defensive and said that if he hadn’t done it, then he wouldn’t have eventually landed the well paying position he is in today-and that I should be grateful. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that he took the job it’s that he made all the decisions without her, and now thinks it’s funny. I do feel a little guilty as my parents are currently really rocky, but were having a good day. Now my mom is upset with him, because she heard him laughing about it. I think he took it as me taking her side with everything or just stirring up trouble. That wasn’t my intention at all- and I really don’t want to them to go back to arguing. However, I did think it was wrong- and I definitely would file for divorce if I’m every in a similar situation. Should I have just kept my mouth shut? It’s definitely starting to feel like I should have. ######","completion":" NTA - He likely got defensive because it brought up some old wounds. He likely realizes you're right on the inside, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. It seems like this pattern of disregarding your mother's wishes has been an ongoing issue in the marriage, and the fact that it's pretty clear to people outside likely makes him insecure. ######"}
{"prompt":"Obviously I sound awful but hear me out.\nI dated this man from the age of 22 until I was 29. He had a major anger problem but I didn’t know it was drug related until a few years before I ended the relationship. \nI picked him up from a clinic he said was for anger management, turned out it was for his coke problem, but I didn’t know that at the time.\nWe had sexual relations after I had been broken up with him for about a year. and it is so frustrating because it was one time out of many months of dealing with him and to my horror and dismay I became pregnant.\nI aborted the baby immediately. Left him and moved on. Have husband now that I love and neither of us want kids. \nFast forward 6-7 years. Bumped into ex locally while shopping, it was really shocking. He asked how I was, I said wonderful etc. Next thing I know he is saying how lucky and successful he is, how I (couldn’t ) bare children? He kept harping on the fact that me and my partner don’t have kids and assumed it was bc we weren’t able.. my anger grew and grew until \nI said, “I aborted your first child, because you were a coke head”\nMy husband was shocked, everyone was shocked and I was ashamed. But my ex was so abusive and I could not hold back because he acted so smug. ######","completion":" NTA - he lied to you about his coke problem, then he was rude to you for absolutely no reason when he saw you years later, as far as I’m concerned all you did was 1) correct his misinformation and 2) state facts. I’m dying to know though, after the initial shock, what was his reaction? ######"}
{"prompt":"Some background: my family doesn't regularly eat dessert, so my daughter has to \"earn\" dessert by doing a good job with dinner. She's 4, so she has about a 60% success rate. In a COVID-19 world, we shop once every three weeks. The weekend before my daughter's birthday, her dad bought two 6-pack boxes of strawberry shortcake bars, and when we unloaded them, she got excited, and he said he bought them because he knows she likes them \n\nTonight, my daughter does a good job with dessert and asks for one of these strawberry bars, which she hasn't had yet (due to choosing other options and\/or not earning dessert that night). Dad says he ate them all (he eats a lot of snacks after LO goes to bed). Daughter is upset, and I'm incredulous. He says, \"It's been two weeks! What was I supposed to do?\" I say, \"Save one for your daughter! That's what you're supposed to do!\"  Dad says super passive aggressively, \"Of course. Whatever everyone else needs.\" I laugh a little at this and say, \"What are you talking about? No one needs strawberry ice cream, but it's not very nice for you to eat it all.\" He leaves the table, upset. I convince daughter to happily accept a different dessert. Daughter apologizes to Dad. She comes and asks me to, and I say, \"No, I am not going to apologize because he ate all of the ice cream, and I'm not really sure you should, either.\"\n\nTLDR: Dad ate all of a treat that was at least superficially for our daughter. His feelings are hurt because we said he shouldn't have done that. An apology is apparently expected. ######","completion":" NTA - He is the one that should be apologising. Dad should buy more ice-cream next time and save some for his daughter. He seems to be acting very selfish and childish here, unless there are some other underlying issues that have not been addressed.\n\nI also think it's good that you told your daughter that you don't see why she should apologise, as women have a habit of apologising for things that are not their fault. ######"}
{"prompt":"My brother moved in with us (me,wife,7 yr old) in mid January. He's just turned 20 a few days ago. He was in a bad situation and we agreed he could stay till he starts university in September. Doesn't cost us much extra for him to be here, mortgage, internet, water are all a fixed charge. So told him he would have to pay gas\/electric when the quarterly bill arrived he can pay the difference. We've fed him until recently so it's cost him £0 for groceries since mid Jan. Since then we have obviously had the virus and at the start he went to his sister's for dinner and I told him it's not acceptable to us to risk our daughters health (she has a undiagnosed epilepsy and is on disabled register) and he has to either be sensible and isolate as much as is possible or move out. He recently started a job, even though he's currently getting furlough (around £180 a month but he literally lives for free) and since starting the job he's been out to \"have a kick around\" with his 1 work colleague he works with. Today, he hasn't come home and messaged to say he's at his work mates house having a few beers.\n\nTomorrow, he's getting told to leave and I'll be giving him his immediately needed stuff and I'll drop the rest off when I can.\n\nI don't know if he will have anywhere to go, but I'm not risking my 7yo for him.\n\nAm I being overly cautious? We have a very low infection rate, around 100 known cases in 60,000 ######","completion":" NTA - He is putting your child, his neice at unnecessary risk. This is the third time he has been irresponsible, you've already talked to him twice about it, third strike and you are out imo.\n\nBut maybe give him a bit longer than a day as he needs to talk to mates or find a shelter. But agree 100% he needs to go ######"}
{"prompt":"I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool. \n\nWhile we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23) \nThey would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice. \n\nThe topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to) \n\nAnyway I dropped it. \n\nNow we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.\nYesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine) \nI told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him. \n\nWIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######","completion":" NTA - he is 23. He has to tell his mom it was a different tattoo shop though. Make sure he pays you in cash so there is no evidence you did it.\n\nAlthough you aren’t TA, you are risking your relationship with that neighbor, if you like them. ######"}
{"prompt":"He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am. \n\nHere's how that conversation went:\n\nMe: What time does Jim leave tomorrow? \n\nBf: 6:45. \n\nMe: WOW that's early. \n\nBf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5. \n\nMe: What? Me? What are you talking about?\n\nBf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him. \n\nI had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off. \n\nI really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - he doesn’t get to volunteer you for stuff.  He just doesn’t.  His consequence for doing it this time is that he’s going to have to get up a little extra early to make good on his promise. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad had an affair and has been with his girlfriend for about 6 months now (for context my parents are still married and my mum knows about the affair). I was talking to him on the phone today and he mentioned that he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. I told him that I didn't want to and perhaps with a little bit more time I'd be open to it. He seemed to be offended by it but I didn't waver on my answer. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want to meet his mistress? ######","completion":" NTA - he clearly has no shame. Stick to your guns, and don’t feel like you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable ######"}
{"prompt":"Fairly confident I'm not the asshole here, but who knows, maybe I need to see it from another perspective.\n\nSingle Mum of a 1 year old boy, his father and I split very early on in his life. He has him every second weekend.\n\nIt's his weekend to have him, I have made plans that I don't really want to cancel. He's messaged me saying he's going to be hungover tomorrow (when he's due to take him) so he said he'll let me know if he can have him. I've said no, he has to take him regardless as I have plans. He's throwing a wobbly and saying that our son won't be in the best care due to him expecting to be \"under the weather\", and that I am acting as an unfit mother as I'm prepared to take that risk and leave him with his Dad. \n\nHe's hungover, not sick. If he was sick, understandable I'd keep him with me I don't want him getting sick. But hungover? Please! If he wants to go out prior to his designated weekend that's his decision, doesn't change his responsibilities. \n\nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - He chose to hit booze when he knew it was his weekend, when reminded, he still chose the drink, then attempted to guilt you into taking him, regardless of premade plans.\n\nMaybe he should try harder if he wants to be a father. The first step is putting your child before everything (including the bottle). If a hangover is too much to deal with.... 🤣 ######"}
{"prompt":"So, for backstory, basically my cousin and aunt have come to my house because we'll be going to Florida in a few days. he's sixteen and I'm thirteen. The last time I saw him was three years ago, and we were pretty close.\n\nSo, my cousin, who was originally female, came out to me about an hour before he made it to my house, on the phone. I completely support him and his decision, and he's still my cousin no matter what.\n\nSo here's what happened. I made macaroni for my family since I love cooking, and we were all just catching up on stuff that happened in the three years. This is how it played out.\n\nAunt: Cute-Comb this macaroni is delicious! I didn't know you knew how to cook!\n\nMe: thanks! I've gotten really into cooking. I remember when we were little, -cousin- would scarf down any kind of pasta haha. It was crazy how she- I'm sorry he would eat anything, as long as it was pasta.\n\nAfter this, my cousin started crying at the table about how I didn't accept him as a male, which I totally do, and I apologized again for the mistake.\n\nNow though, my family is mad at me and my cousin isn't talking to me anymore. I even apologized again, but he just ignored me. I only made this mistake once, and I've called him he and him no matter what. AITA? I don't know what to do ######","completion":" NTA - he came out as trans for the first time shortly before arriving at the house, this was your first opportunity to use corrected pronouns, and you were referring to a memory from a time when he was presenting as female.  That isn’t “not accepting him as male,” it’s a brain fart, and a completely understandable one.  Plus you corrected yourself immediately, within three syllables of the mistake, and apologized. \n\nIf your cousin needs the whole world to never, ever,EVER make a mistake, and stops speaking to people on the first one, he’s going to end up one lonely person. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this morning my husband tells me he wants to sit in my seat at the kitchen table because the light is better in my spot and can we switch. I’ve been sitting in this spot for a decade and I’ve been working from home, using that spot for 2.5 years. He, by chance, apparently sat in my seat yesterday and now wants it to be his when he works from home (he works for home full time now since January). When I told him no, he said “how about we alternate - one week on, one week off?” I said I didn’t want to alternate, that would be like changing up the side of the bed you sleep on! He said I was rude and inflexible and didn’t know how to share. I told him he’s rude because he all of a sudden decides something is “better” and wants it for himself and when I disagree, then I’m the jerk. He also claims that people don’t have a spot at a kitchen table. Who’s right? ######","completion":" NTA - he asked you for something and you said no. \nEspecially if it has been “your” spot at the table for the amount of time you have said for both work and personal.\nLike you said, how would he feel if you asked to switch sides of the bed, wardrobe spaces, cars, etc.\nI understand his side somewhat, but he needs to understand that you are allowed to say no. ######"}
{"prompt":"I randomly started flirting with this acquaintance, what started as flirting progressed to sexting, nudes and to eventually hooking up multiple times etc. I was fine with it, until i saw how much of a HYPOCRITE he is. \n\nHe’s been posting so much dumb shit on snapchat about girls who send nudes, how hookups are “morally and religiously long as you should devote your body to one person only” and things along those lines. I called him out publicly on snapchat by posting the sexual texts he sends me “i want to see both views when you drop it low” and worse. \n\nHe then calls me ranting about how much of a bitch I am, and how unnecessary that was etc. His friends are telling me to delete it, so word doesn’t get around to his religious parents who might disown him because he isn’t abstinent.  I hate hypocrites, but I’m starting to feel bad. AITA? I would be willing to apologize If i’m in the wrong, i just need an unbiased perspective. ######","completion":" NTA - Has he never heard of practicing what he preaches? The double standard is too real. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister (F19) has always wanted to dye her hair funky colors. However, our parents would never let us dye our hair as teenagers. Now that she's (relatively) grown, she asked me (F23) to bleach and dye it bubblegum pink\/turquoise. Here's the tricky part: she was talking with her boyfriend about how excited she was to try something new.\n\n Based on the screenshots she sent me (she does this because she often feels like she's overreacting), he told her he would no longer be attracted to her if she goes through with this and that he doesn't understand why she's upset with him about it. She respects his right to have\/voice his opinion, but tells him that this is something that she's wanted to do for a long time. Personally, I think this is a really weird hill for him to die on, and I think this is a bit of a red flag.\n\n She is coming to my house today to start the process. Her boyfriend has now told her that he doesn't want her to go to my house. I asked if she still wanted to go ahead, she told me yes. Here's the part where I might be TA. We're going to go ahead and do it anyway. I figure she's only young once and ought to try something new BEFORE she starts working for places that don't allow for unnatural hair color. So WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA - Hair color change is fun and it grows back.  I remember being 19 and dying it blonde for the first time. I thought my parents would be so upset but my dad didn't even notice (granted it went from brown to light brown). \n\nI remember being a child and having a great aunt who did the hair tints for older women who had gray hair - it was a blueish purple color. That was when I realized being old could be fun if I could have purple, blue, or pink hair.  I didn't dye it a \"funky\" color until I turned 50. I used teal and loved it. ######"}
{"prompt":"Context im always the quiet guy which is okay my grandmother always questions why are you so quiet are you a man? And shit i also have a younger sister who i love dearly i always have lots of convos with her and my grandmother gets annoyed saying why im always with my younger sister and why i follow her around and why i cant be a \"man\" \n\nThis morning a bee came inside our house through out window it got in my sisters hair and i pushed her out and the bee left her hair my sister screamed and my natural reaction was to run same as my sister and shut the door then my grandmother fucking comes in and says \"aren't you ashamed to be running away from a bee aren't you a man to be scared off bees\" i got so fucking pissed she was going to take a broom and shoo it away but after she questioned my \"masculinity\" and thousands of other shit i took my fucking shoe and i wacked the bee so hard at the window (window didnt break) threw the shoe and left and im now upstairs \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - grandma is sexist. All this \"boys don't cry\" BS is old. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so the title sounds a little selfish but hear me out here\n\nIm (16M) pretty much the baker of the house, my mom will occasionally, but only when I’m busy or not home. When I want to bake, or when my family is dropping hints they want something sweet, I ask my family what they want. Sometimes they give me something specific like cheesecake or cookies, sometimes they just let me have the creative freedom to make what I’m craving. \n\nNow my sister (20F) doesn’t live with us but she does spend a lot of time at the house, she also happens to have celiacs\/a gluten intolerance (I’m unsure which) and has tried to cut down on gluten. In turn she’s asked me to make gluten free desserts instead of the ones with gluten in them. \n\nHere’s where the problem comes in, I don’t like the texture that the gluten free flours give the desserts, especially in things such as cakes. When it’s something made specifically for her, such as something specific she requests or something for her birthday, I’ll happily make it. When it’s something I want or someone else in my family wants I make it with normal flour. \n\nMy sister doesn’t like this because she can’t eat them, however whenever I ask her to make a request she only ever says something gluten free. I’m also hesitant to make her gluten free desserts freely because she doesn’t generally eat a lot of dessert because she is trying to watch her weight. And I don’t want the dessert to go waste. \n\nSo Reddit AITA for not making gluten free desserts all the time? ######","completion":" NTA - gluten free stuff generally just doesn’t have the texture\/taste of stuff with gluten, if it’s just for her you’re fully within your right to ask her to request something in advance. You’re kindly offering to make things for her, but it’s not like other food allergies where you could just not top some of the treats with the allergen, gluten has to be included or excluded from the entire batch. If it would make it go to waste then it’s fine for you not to want to.\n\nOne alternative could be freezing? If you made a gluten free cookie dough (for example) and baked off a few for her when she’s over then leave the rest of the dough in the freezer, then when she comes over you can pop a few in for her so she’s not left out? You of course don’t have to do this, it could stop tension though? ######"}
{"prompt":"My grandfather died at the age of 83. He had like 5 or 6 brothers\/sisters, so the family is quite big and almost everyone (4 generations) came to his funeral.\n\nEveryone met at the cemetery reception\/outside. There were more people than I could even count, and I didn't even know half of them. So, as people gravitated together in groups of the same age, it didn't take long to get really awkward. Imagine meeting a third cousin for the first time in such a situation.\n\nSo, with the intention of breaking the ice, I did a couple of jokes, nothing inappropriate, just enough to people crack a smile, and it did work, the tense\/awkward atmosphere got way better. Except for my sister, who kept crying copiously all the time, so I left her alone, everyone did.\n\nOn the inside and during the ceremony I was totally silent. Nevertheless, after the fact, my sister called me asshole for making jokes at that time.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - genuinely feel that old people funerals are the one type where smiles and laughter are ok at any point. If they’ve lived a long full life, you’re there to celebrate it not simply to mourn their passing. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it. \nMy dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass\/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like \"oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!\" \nMy grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year? \nI don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######","completion":" nta - from a kids point of view (19, but ya know) when I got my first phone it was based off of a deal like that so in your position I would be upset too. Just, when and if you confront him be patient, polite, and don't try to demand anything. good luck. ######"}
{"prompt":"In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them. \n\nSkip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself \"fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended\". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half. \n\nSkip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me. \n\nI hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######","completion":" NTA - First off, your parents are not medical experts so their opinion on what you should or should not take is uninformed and ultimately harmful to you. There is a lot of misinformation around antidepressants and for the most part, people do not understand how they work. Listen to your doctor. \n\nNot only that but as a 17 year old, if you didn't want your parents to know what happens in your doctors visit, you do not need to tell them. \n\nYou and your doctors get to decide what is best for you medically, not your parents. They are the true assholes here for trying to gatekeep you from getting the treatment you need. ######"}
{"prompt":"My boyfriend left upset and hasn't come back since this happened. He said I was being really nosy and that it disappoints him that I can't just mind my own business. Well, if there are 5 firetrucks in our apartment block parking lot I feel like it's not a bad thing to know what's going on. All of my neighbors were also outside (spread out and most of us with masks) and I talked to them and confirmed that everybody is safe. It apparently started as a problem with HVAC and I was able to tell them that the HVAC guy who just came to check out our unit commented on the fact that all of our systems are borderline outdated. Also, I had never seen firefighters really do their thing with the hoses and ladders before. It was honestly really interesting.\n\nMy boyfriend really dislikes it when I \"check stuff out\" though and thinks I contribute to turning someone else's misfortune into a spectacle by doing so. I can see this perspective but that's really not what I was trying to do and the situation did not have any air of spectacle to it, just everyone on the block sizing up the problem. \n\nTLDR does standing on your porch watching emergency vehicles do their thing make you an asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Firefighter here, we get plenty of bystanders. As long as you're not in our way and you're in a safe place, feel free to watch. Heck, when I'm off-duty I do the same thing.\n\n*edited to add, please be respectful of the homeowner. Obviously this is a traumatic experience for them, maybe even the worst day of their life. Treat is as such.* ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve had my horse for a few months now.\n\nHe’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.\n\nThis girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?\n\nThey’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - fellow horse rider here! You are definitely not the asshole, to me horses are a big deal and especially when they’re green, every ride affects their training so I would be cautious of letting even friends ride a young horse, never mind some girl who’s rude to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go. \ni don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point.. \nthey were not planning to pay me either. \ni’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ######","completion":" NTA - every person\/parent\/teacher\/anybody ever needs to understand this - when you ask someone to do something, you need to prepare that the answer can be no. \n\nI think it is a perfectly reasonable expectation on your part to want quiet time after school not watching kids. \n\nIf they're forcing you, then this is a good time to talk with them about some boundaries. ######"}
{"prompt":"Yesterday my boyfriend\n\nNow to give you some clarification, its not like I particularly dress for \"unwanted\" attention. I do dress nice I guess, as in, I like to wear cute flats with a blazer and pretty blouse. But I'm not the type to show my cleavage and bum, and even if a gal did, thats her prerogative. Anyways I dress for myself. And no one else. \n\nAnyways, I was out with my BF the other day as restrictions were getting lifted. I will say, I might have looked extra polished as I spent extra time on my hair and makeup for the day. \n\nMy boyfriend got upset with me about how (according to him) guys were always checking me out and today it was \"bad\" and I was facilitating it. I was \"enabling their pig thoughts\" it got pretty heated. He said it was comparable to me being \"slutty\".\n\nHere's the thing. My boyfriend checks out other women. A lot. I gneenrally don't care. So for him to be upset with other dudes checking me out? Fuck that. \n\nI told him that if he's going to check out other women, then dont be a hypocrite and controlling douchebag and be all uppity when guys do the same to me. Its not like I'm asking for their numbers. \n\nEither its okay to you or it isnt. You can't have it both ways. \n\nAnyways he called me a bitch after I called him a hypocrite and now that I've cooled down, im.not sure if I went too far.\n\nAITA. ######","completion":" NTA - even if your boyfriend wasn't checking out other girls, still wouldn't make you one. Calling you slutty is a definite no-no. He sounds like the kind of guy who blames the victim. Please watch our for other red flags, because this is how controlling and emotional abusive relationships start. ######"}
{"prompt":"I live with my parents and brother. \n\nMy dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there. \n\nThis honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll. \n\nAITA for asking my dad to quit? ######","completion":" NTA - Even if you didn't have legitimate trauma related to this behavior, respectfully asking your Dad to cool it with the comments is completely fine and doesn't make you overly sensitive. \n\nBut you DO have trauma and the fact that he continues his degrading quips is entirely insensitive. I would suggest pulling him aside and having a conversation about your past experiences and explaining why his behavior is so upsetting.\n\nI hope things get better, OP! ######"}
{"prompt":"Background: Me, my husband, 2 year old, 2 dogs. Through my whole pregnancy and after I have been the one working full time to provide. In addition, I also did majority of the household duties until this past year when I finally put my foot down. I still do majority of the cooking and laundry, and am expected to be the one caring for our daughter when we're both home, even when I had to work late or work that day.\n\nSo my husband started a new part time job, at an ice cream shop, on weekends. I had a day off one night, and decided to cook dinner. I made baked chicken thighs and mashed potatoes. Now ill admit the potatoes were a disaster. They were well past their prime and i didn't realize that a good amount hadn't softened like they should which resulted in very lumpy potatoes. Whatever, they still tasted fine to me, weird texture, but definitely edible.\n\nI baked the chicken thighs, and because I've had trouble with undercooked chicken in the past, I made sure to use the thermometer, and cooked them well past the safe temp. My daughter and I ate them and everything was good. \n\nSo he gets home, cuts into the chicken, and flips out, because the chicken was \"undercooked\", because there was some blood near the thigh bone. I tried to explain that that was normal, and they're cooked to temperature and safe to eat. He wasn't having any of it and threw all the food away.\n\nI lost my cool and told him he's never appreciative of anything I do for him, and he should be more thankful, even if it was undercooked at least I tried. He maintains that he shouldn't be thankful to come home from work to undercooked chicken and potatoes that he can't even eat and have to go hungry. Which led into a bigger fight about how his job is not difficult, he only works two days a week, and i cook virtually every meal for us, and it's not fair to me for him to be such a jerk over one botched meal. \n\nAITA for telling him he should be appreciative for undercooked chicken, and insulting his job? ######","completion":" NTA - even if the chicken was somehow undercooked, you didn't do it intentionally. Your husband sounds like a child. He doesn't have to go hungry, he can eat ice cream if he doesn't appreciate your cooking and if he doesn't want to cook himself. ######"}
{"prompt":"My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account.  It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends.  I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face.  When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone.  I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that. \n\nMy friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again.  I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.  \n\nMy sister called me a \"fucking snitch\" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues.  I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ######","completion":" NTA - Dude I thought she was like 12 or something and then I read in the comments that's she's 18??\n\nBruh it concerns me that people like this are legally adults.\n\nIgnore her calling you a snitch btw, your parents are supposed to stop your siblings from being cruel to you. ######"}
{"prompt":"English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. \nMy mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it. \n\nLast year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers. \nTwo years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.\n\nI work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.\n\nWith my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house. \n\n(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)\n\nSo AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######","completion":" NTA - Don't take money advice from your grandmother who continually is getting scammed by your mother. Take as much money as you can and save it for your future, you'll need it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me(13f) and my dad went to the dog park so my dogs could run.  I have two 30-40 lb dogs Max and Bell.  Then this lady comes in the dog park with 2 husky mixes. They are look like they are 60lbs ish.  So my dogs go to smell her dogs butt and then her dog just attacks my dog. Not like a gentle bite but angry and my dog screamed and ran away.  I was like woah and grabbed my dogs.  She tried calling her dog over to her but it didn't listen to her.  I told her she shouldn't be bringing an dog that clearly doesn't like other dogs to a dog park and she kinda got upset and left.  I felt bad but at the same time her dog attacked Max just for smelling her.  My dad said I shouldn't have said that because Max didn't get hurt.  My reasoning was that her dog didn't like other dogs and didn't go to her when she called it, it shouldn't be in a dog park. ######","completion":" NTA - Dogs can be trained to behave.  If she couldn't get her dog to obey, then she should keep them on a leash or keep them home. ######"}
{"prompt":"I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.\n\nWe have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves. \n\nHis health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.\n\nHe promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!\n\nSo I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family. \n\nI work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats. \n\nAm I TA here for getting upset? ######","completion":" NTA - does your husband realize that he’s risking his relationship with his entire family because he insists on working unreasonable hours at a job he doesn’t feel passionate about just so he can say he’s a good manager? He wouldn’t be the first person who lost his partner and kids because he failed to make them a priority after he’d been explicitly asked to do so (hell, just check out the rest of Reddit if you’re after examples...)\n\nI’m not suggesting you divorce him, but you’ve asked him to invest more time and energy in your family rather than his work and he’s immediately gone back on his word. You need to make it clear that this is seriously important to you and your sons, and that you’re not prepared to accept empty promises about changes he then fails to make. He sounds like a decent guy who just doesn’t quite understand how much effort it actually takes to have a good family life. Raising kids is work. Keeping a marriage healthy is work. And in both cases, YOU are his only coworker. He owes you at least the time, respect and consideration he shows to his other coworkers at his salaried job (and considerably more given that you are in fact his wife and the mother of his children). He needs to take you seriously and not brush off your concerns as secondary or less important than the pressures he might have from his workplace. If he’s worried about money, sit him down and work out a budget. But it sounds like this is mostly about his own self-image and his concern for how his coworkers see him - in which case, my only advice is to do what it takes to make him realize that actually, the opinions of his wife and children matter more than that of his colleagues and he needs to starting acting like it. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'll start with a bit of background. I have been friends with my friend and her ex since high school. They were together for around 10 years and split around 12 months ago. Friend has started seeing someone else. Ex has started seeing someone within our circle recently. I am friends with both of them equally. \n\nI am trying my best to remain impartial, so when they each moved on I did not mention it to the other out of respect - I figured this was a conversation best left to the two of them. About a week ago I got a message from my friend crucifying me for not telling her her ex had moved on. I only knew her ex was 'talking' to his new SO, not that there was anything 'official' happening. She won't hear it and keeps telling me she has a right to know and that I betrayed her by not telling her. I disagree. I am close with both of them and am happy to hear them out, but I won't take sides. Which they know. \n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - despite you being friends to both parties, their business really isn’t your business. You’ve done a good thing by just staying out of it. Sounds like your friend still might have some feelings for the ex though.. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions\nMy grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well.\nRecently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”. \nI thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party. \nI’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - depending on how lucid your grandmother is, That 'Oh' of disappointment could be an 'Oh. I forgot. Again.\" ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.\n\nI recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful. \n\nToday I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home. \n\nHe made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######","completion":" NTA - dear god, the fragility of this man...\n\n*Nothing* about anyone's appearance is an indication of sexual orientation. You could literally be snogging a woman and it would still not mean you're a lesbian. The \"worry\" that people will assume you're a lesbian based on your clothing is stupid.\n\nSecondly though, why does it bother him so much even *if* some people would think you're a lesbian - presumably people who, like him, think pixie cuts and rainbow shirts are a no-go because it will somehow be an indicator of your orientation. So what if someone would think you're gay?\n\nI know you're saying he never makes homophobic comments outside this particular issue and that he doesn't seem to have problems with gay people, but to be honest I find it hard to believe that he doesn't based on what you've written.\n\nEither way, your husband is an asshole, for trying to dictate what you wear, and for worrying on any level that people may assume you're gay. ######"}
{"prompt":"Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain\n\nOkay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income\/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.\n\nI have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.\n\nSo for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.\n\nI am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??\n\nSo reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?\n\nEdit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######","completion":" NTA - Complain. Complain. Complain. They had no right to do that to your plants. It would have been helpful if you warned them but i doubt they would have cared. Try to get some planters to start off where you left off on gardening while you wait for that landscaper to be reprimanded. ######"}
{"prompt":"So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.\n\nMe (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.\n\nWe started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.\n\nSo here is why I might be the AH:\n\nMy friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.\n\nThen came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.\n\nSo reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ######","completion":" NTA - Compassion and empathy are a good thing to have, and understanding your friend's struggle is great, but there needs to be an understanding of what actually happened.   \n\n\nYou didn't post it and tag your friend and say \"Hey, look how much more weight I have lost compared to you.\"  \n\n\nShowing off your own progress does not equate to rubbing it in your friend's face ######"}
{"prompt":"My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.\n\nI asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15\/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.\n\nAnyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.\n\nThese last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it. \n\nI don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ######","completion":" NTA - Common courtesy might be to at least send her a text if you think she might just not have noticed.  But if she's not paying, there's nothing wrong with taking her off, especially after a few months. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms! \nAITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ######","completion":" NTA - Can your kids somehow accidentally ruin a few things. Kids can be very very clumsy. ######"}
{"prompt":"Ever since COVID, jobs have been hard to come by, especially in my [M21] and my girlfriend's  [F20] fields.\n\nThe other day, she got a request for an interview at this decently sized company in the city we live in. She did really well on the first interview, got a second, and did fairly well on that interview as well. I have no doubts they will be contacting her with an offer or a third interview, and she is super excited.\n\nThe only problem is that with a little bit of research you find out that the company is basically a giant pyramid scheme, and that you will be a door to door or in store salesperson. From there you only make commission. This may be what some people want, but I know for a fact this is nowhere near what my girlfriend is expecting from the job. Plus, reviews online of working for the company are either horrible or obviously fake.\n\nI know it is her life and I shouldn't interfere, but she is so excited to get another summer job that I'm worried she might throw herself into this without actually knowing what it is. I asked her what the company does the other day and she explained the same BS that the fake reviews online had. I don't want her to waste her time when I know she would have a good chance at a job elsewhere. ######","completion":" NTA - but you’ll need to find a few negative reviews to really convince her. From sites like Glassdoor or reviews from customers. \n\nMaybe ask her what her base salary would be and then compare it to someone just making minimum wage. Sure the commissions would be higher, but it’s probably not stacked in her favor to actually earn a decent wage. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me &amp; my gf of 3 years has accused me of being cheap. She has 2 children from a previous relationship. Everything in the relationship is great but money is the elephant in the room. \n\nWe both have income. For the most part it’s kept separate. Separate bank accounts etc. All bills are 50\/50. Now I’ve noticed when we all go out to eat etc she expects me to pay. The bills are always higher because of the kids. I find myself not wanting to go out because it gets too expensive. \n\nI have money saved. A mortgage from before we got together. Investments and own my own company. No debts. She is coming from a relationship where they had 30-40k debt. \nHas had the ex pay it off in the divorce. She has a vehicle and wants me to help out on repairs, new tires etc. Even maybe help buy a new vehicle. I drive a 20 year old vehicle and have never owned a new one. I see it as a bad investment. \n\nShe earns more money than I do. She doesn’t work but gets payments from the ex for the kids. She says she doesn’t want anything to do with him and would rather not take his money but wants me to basically take over. I don’t have the money to do this. Also I did not expect this. Now it’s turning into “we are not a priority for you”. And you keep all your money. Meanwhile I feel like everything is fair 50\/50 with her even earning more. She earns about 2x me. Now her cards are maxed out and it’s getting stressful. She wants me to buy the bday gifts, vacations etc. Now tells me that’s how her other relationship was. But my defence is I am not the father and he is still alive and making payments. So idk, she’s made me feel like I’m cheap and don’t contribute. Is this a controlling tactic to get what she wants? Does she really think this of me? I mean I spent thousands on her for her bday and Xmas. Any and all comments welcome I need some help guys thanks. ######","completion":" NTA - but what do you expect??? This won’t get better dude, you will dropped for the first guy that opens up his wallet. ######"}
{"prompt":"My son is married to a woman no one likes. The truly strange thing is he doesn't like her either, he could never give me a reason why he was going to marry her, and they have been nothing but miserable since they got married. We are all hispanic and in the hispanic community there is a valid issue of light skin being put up on a pedestal. My wife was her mom's favorite child because she was the lightest. I know how fucked up that is but it is part of our community.\n\nBoth of my wives have been light skinned, and my current wife is blonde and people are surprised when they find out she is Cuban. My DIL strikes me as being horribly insecure. She is constantly calling women sluts, talking about what other women are wearing, and according to my ex she even tried to shame her for working out. DIL constantly brings up how light skinned my wife is and implies that she isn't really part of our culture and tries to shame me for marrying \"white girls\"\n\nWell last night she pissed me off when she asked why we don't have any children together (she knows my wife can't have children) and then she started bitching about how she is surprised we didn't want white, beautiful children. I told her \"you're racist because you're ugly\" and she went crazy, throwing dishes and screaming. Now everyone besides my wife thinks I'm the asshole. ######","completion":" NTA - but the better way of phrasing it is: \"You're ugly because you're racist\". ✌🏻 ######"}
{"prompt":"So I moved into my current apartment about a year ago and ever since i have had to deal with my neighbors and their constant screaming. The thing is i don't really know them, I have only seen their name on the door, but the things I hear through the walls are very concerning. Multiple times a day the kids (I think they have 2) will scream, but not like fun-scream, more like scream-crying. This will be followed by their mother screaming back even louder and sometimes it sounds like things are being thrown against our wall. This also happens in the middle of the night waking me up sometimes 5 times in one night. I can hear them screaming and sometimes talking because of the thin walls, but I don't know their launguage so i can't make out what they are saying. This is also the reason why i want to call the authorites and not talk to them myself, becuase we cant communicate. The thing that even made me make this post was yesterday when all hell went loose and both the mother and the father was screaming at the children like crazy and some big objects were thrown against the wall, so big that my bedroom actually rumbled. I started keeping count of the screaming and crying and what sounds like hitting and in the last 4 hours it have happened about 5 times. It seems it is getting worse everyday \n\nSo WIBTA if I reported them without actually knowing or talking to the parents? ######","completion":" NTA - but start recording and keeping a log as proof because CPS won't be able to do much unless they have proof. ######"}
{"prompt":"Last Thanksgiving, my mom (53F) and I (24F) got into a fight about how my aunt treats me and my younger cousin who is transgender (13M).  Side note: my mom adopted my little cousin several years ago, and he came out as transgender last year.  He prefers to be referred to as male, which I will do in this post.  \n\nMy aunt is homophobic, and she has ostracized me from our family for over a decade for being a lesbian, so my mom asks me to tone down my lesbianism when we visit by not talking about girls, who I date, or anything pertaining to the LGBT community.  I have accepted this and typically do so to keep her happy.  My mom is a peacemaker and does not like to fight or upset anyone, and she thinks I should respect my Aunt and keep this to myself.  Last Thanksgiving, I felt my mom crossed a line because she told my cousin that he had to go by his dead name at my Aunt’s and by female pronouns.  This obviously made him really uncomfortable.  It was also not easy for me to do, as I didn’t want to upset him and found it difficult to revert back to his dead name and opposite pronouns suddenly after calling him the other name for months.  My mom refused to allow my cousin to tell anyone that he was transgender because “kids would be there” and that he would be grounded if he told anyone.  She was angry at me for continuing to call him by his chosen name because I refused to switch back.  I was super pissed on his behalf because I feel his coming out should be his decision, and that my mother should stand up for us more at holidays to my aunt.  \n\nWIBTA if I refuse to hide my lesbianism to placate my aunt, as well as insist she treat my younger cousin with respect to his pronouns and chosen name?  I understand that my mother doesn’t want to upset her sister, but as both a straight and cisgender woman I don’t believe she understands where my cousin and I are coming from and why we want the freedom to express ourselves freely when visiting family. ######","completion":" NTA - But maybe ask your cousin what he wants since he has to live with your mom more. He may be fine going back into the closet to maintain peace, tho you can 100% be gay af in front of your aunt cause it mainly affects your relationship to her and you aren't obligated to go back into the closet for her. ######"}
{"prompt":"Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######","completion":" NTA - But if you don't want to take care of her, you need to tell your parents now, so that they can start making other arrangements. There are lawyers and agencies that focus on exactly these types of situations. ######"}
{"prompt":"So for some reason the kids in my neighborhood have decided that they want to start playing basketball at 10pm or later. Now I’m usually pretty chill about pretty much everything but it’s gone from them just playing basketball to them yelling and screaming while playing basketball. Even then that wouldn’t be an issue if it were something that happened every now and then. I’ve been their age before and I’ve done my fair share of stupid teenage things but I’m not sure where to draw the line.\n\nEdit: I should have said that I’ve already talked to the parents about it (seemed pretty chill , it stopped for about a week and then it started back up). In addition to this they tend to leave trash everywhere (water bottles , napkins, soda cans) ######","completion":" NTA - but I would consider talking to their parents first.  Honestly the police are fairly ill equipped to hand any situation that doesn't call for an unreasonable amount of violence to be directed at citizens, I'd only involve them if you are fearing for your well being. ######"}
{"prompt":"My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.\n\nThis really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - but I don’t know your sister but I’m quite sure she didn’t actually mean it like that, it sounds like you probably both say some very harsh things sometimes! \n\nI personally know family members who have completely cut each other out of their lives over arguments, all end up regretting it but don’t patch things up because they’re too stubborn and I think that’s a shame! \n\nYou’re family, I would give yourself some time to calm down and then try to make up with your sister ######"}
{"prompt":"Just wanna say beforehand, Im not actually the one giving it to my sister, its our dad. \n\nWere all grown adults and are living together for lockdown. My sister is a really fussy eater, she only eats one type of food, curry. She only likes a certain brand, in a certain jar in 3 flavours. She either eats those currys or orders take out every day (either curry or fries). \n\nMy dad likes cooking and will do it for the family every night, but my sister refuses to eat anything he makes. She wont cook for herself either, will ask him to do it or will order take out. \n\nIf my dad makes her a curry, and its with rice that she hasnt had before, she wont eat it. Tonight, instead of using whatever rice shes eating right now (she used to eat microwave rice, she doesnt anymore) he used whole grain rice. She took 1 bite, said she didnt like it and left the entire bowl. This happens almost every meal if it isnt the perfect jar of sauce, perfect cut of chicken, or perfect rice. \n\nDad has hidden things in the home made sauces that she doesnt know about (like carrots or something) and we dont tell her, or she will refuse to eat it. We dont tell her after either, we just let her eat it and never say a word. Sometimes she will throw a tantrum about certain foods too, like we ordered take out for lunch a couple weeks ago, and refused to eat any of the food at all because she took some of my fries after being called out for it. A lot of food goes to waste because she has massive portions, but wont eat it. \n\nLike I understand you shouldnt 'fuck' with peoples foods, but I feel like in this situation its acceptable. She has been told by doctors she needs to start eating better. Just wanna say my sister isnt autistic, she was tested and it came back negative. She does refuse to go to doctors too, and our dad cant force her since shes 24. AITA (my family) for feeding her stuff she wont eat and not telling her? ######","completion":" NTA - but honestly everyone should just stop being involved with her food in any way. Don’t cook for her. Don’t get takeout for her. Nothing. If she’s not willing to cook or order her own damn food, she doesn’t deserve to eat. She’s a grown-ass adult who has been enabled in this totally asshole behavior for about two decades too long. ######"}
{"prompt":"So a little bit of backstory I (16f) have insomnia I’m up all night and some of the day but I’m almost never up at dinner time so I never get to eat with my family so I decided to do something nice and cook for them before I went to bed, I made meatballs like 50 of them and I worked my ass of for them I made them from scratch It took like 3 hours I pan fried them and burned the shit out of my arm in the process but they turned out amazing, we all had a few this morning (about 3) and my dad and brother said they were amazing but my mom said they were “only ok” which hurt my feelings but I moved on, so anyways I put them in the fridge and went to bed. Well I just got up and they had eaten all but two of them I worked my fucking ass off and they couldn’t save me more then two? Keep in mind there are only three other members of my family and They all had at least 10 and they saved me two my little brother even offered two put some of his back for me and they said not to,  I just feel like whats the point in working hard cooking for them if they’re not going to appreciate me enough to save me a portion! wibta if I tell them I’m not cooking for them anymore? I can’t tell if I’m over reacting ######","completion":" NTA - but don't let other people stop you from doing things you like. If you make something next time, be sure to put it away in some Tupperware and label it clearly what's yours and what's for the family. If they keep stealing your food after that, then I wouldn't cook for them anymore, just cook for yourself. Please don't let one setback stop you from doing something you love! ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so I (15f) live with my mum, dad (59m) and my soon to be leaving sister (18f)\n\nSo it’s always felt like I’ve been walking on eggshells when my dad is around. I can never \ntell what his mood is and wether he’ll shout at me if I do something wrong or tell a joke. When he shouts, He shouts hard. Usually while my mum isn’t home and he’s in one of his angry moods he will literally find anything to get mad about and say that we’re irresponsible, lazy, going to get fat etc. This hasn’t happened with me but he’s usually tell my sister to “fuck off” if she pissed him off about something (idk what but she always does leave the house when he says that and he gets mad) he also compares us a lot and says that I should be like my sister because she has a job n stuff, and compares my sister to me because I’m “unproblematic”.\n\nUsually when I sleep in on a Saturday he’d usually say stuff like “you should get a job and stop being lazy” and he’d also say I quit an old Saturday club I used to be in cuz I just wanted to be a “lazy shit” (even though I left because it just wasn’t my thing) \n\nLastly if we say something he doesn’t really agree with he acts like the whole family gangs up on him and try’s to, in his words, “silence and oppress him”\n\nthat’s just a fraction of the stuff he literally shouts. I’ve always felt like I’m walking on eggshells when he’s around and I can’t take it, I’ve had to live with it for 15 years and I just want it to stop. WIBTA? ######","completion":" NTA - but abusers rarely take their victims advice. I’m not sure what the best step going forward would be, but you’d probably be best with some support from outside your family to start with as a back up. \n\nAre there any relatives, teachers or counsellors you can talk to about his behaviour? ######"}
{"prompt":"I [27F] have been with my partner [27M] for four years, my south Asian parents who are first gen immigrants do not “allow me to date” and expect that I have an arranged marriage to a man of their choosing. I’ve explained to them multiple times that I’m not their 15 year old daughter they can “forbid” from dating. \n\nI’m tired of the constantly being yelled at about “ruining their lives” or apparently “ruining my life” with my refusal to talk to men they’re interested in setting me up with. I’ve tried asking them about what their concerns are and that I’d be happy to address them but there is no way for me to reason with people who’s only response is “we cannot accept this.”\n\nMy parents on aren’t willing to entertain that this is a choice I’d like to make for myself. I care deeply about my partner, am immensely happy and see myself spending the rest of my life with him. WIBTA if I cut off contact with my parents over this? \n\ntl;dr my parents disapprove of my partner due to his race and want me to have an arranged marriage, I’m not interested. WIBTA if I stop speaking to them? ######","completion":" NTA - boundaries matter and people who routinely violate your boundaries earn a time out. ######"}
{"prompt":"I have an extensive book collection. My boyfriend asked if he could lend one of my books to his friend, I said no. My boyfriend says I am being ungenerous. \n\nMy argument is that the book is a long and dense one and that it is the kind of book that people say they want to read but never actually do. People borrow books like this, they sit on a bed side table for months and you never get it back. \n\nIn general my experience with lending things like this, smaller things like books, is that they don't come back. I tend not to lend stuff that is small as I have a poor rate of return. \n\nOn the other hand if someone wants something expensive, like to borrow one of my very good dresses for an event, that's fine because expensive stuff strangely people seem more keen to take care of and return. \n\nAITA For not lending a book? ######","completion":" NTA - Books lent out often don't come back.  If you're fine with that, no problem.  If you're not fine with that, no problem. ######"}
{"prompt":"My bf I’m tied me to stay with him for two weeks. Yesterday he decided to go to his friend and stay overnight. He told me I may not go outside and did not leave the key, I told him since I ran out of food I need to buy food. He said he’ll come back in the morning.\n\nToday he told me he wasn’t coming back until noon so I went out. I couldn’t lock the door because I didn’t have the key and now he said I left his flat. \n\nHe is the type to never apologise and think I’m doing something bad when I’m not, but I’m really baffled that he thinks what I did was so bad. Was it really so bad? ######","completion":" NTA - big red flag when he tells you not to leave the apartment you should run ######"}
{"prompt":"AITA for wanting\/insisting the new TV (that was supposed to replace the old tv in the living room) to go into the family living room instead of my husband’s man cave? He’s very insistent that we can’t use it to it’s fullest ability and it should go in his man cave but we have a toddler and he’s in school so his free time is maybe 3 hours or less a day (he routinely stays up until 2:30 am and wakes up at 5:30 to play video games.) so it wouldn’t get much use. \n\nHowever we (toddler son and I) have been using a super old tv that has had color issues (everything is green tinted) for about a year now in the main family room\/living room. We spend more time upstairs using that tv during the day.\n\nAITA? He’s acting salty about it which seems ridiculous to me. ######","completion":" NTA - At this point in time, his priority should be family time, not video game\/ man cave time. He should be putting his effort with this new TV into creating fun and active time between the three of you, not to isolate himself away from the family dynamic ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse. \n\nFor the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24\/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained. \n\nLast night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - Asking him to go to therapy IS supportive. It's the only viable way he is going to be able to manage his depression, and asking him to do so is looking out for him. ######"}
{"prompt":"This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ######","completion":" NTA - as a woman, I too get very annoyed at the question. Also him calling Paul's gf an \"objective and reasonable person\" sorta implies that you're not? No offense to your bf, but he's 100% the asshole here ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the \"quiet\" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command \"quiet\" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.  \n\n\nMy da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the \"quiet\" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they \"can't\" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ######","completion":" NTA - as a dog owner, I feel the need for the quiet command sometimes. My dog barks for attention sometimes, so teaching him to be quiet first has really helped both of us to remain calm. Many people teach their dogs this command and I don't believe it will entirely suppress their urges to bark. ######"}
{"prompt":"Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.\n\n&amp;#x200B;\n\nsome context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis\/cute stuff\n\nBut now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with \"drawing stuff for OTHER people\". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.\n\nThis all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA - Art is a luxury, if he wants it he should pay like any other customer. No one is entitled to art. Keep on drawing and I'm glad you have so many commissions! I know it's a throw away account but I'd love to see some of your art if possible. ######"}
{"prompt":" \n\nSo  growing up I had one of the most loving mothers one could as for, maybe  even a little too much. Except for times when she had her episodes. She  has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and some other mental ilnesess I  forgot about. But for most part, she is very normal and sane, due to her  meds. But that's the problem. She never was a very religious person,  but every year, without fault, she will have this desire to connect to  god for some reason. She then start going to church at least 3 times a  week, and it seems to give her some comfort, so I don't even mention it.  But what surprises me is that everytime she finds a church, they tell  her she doesn't seem to have any condition regarding her mental state.  And that is true, because of her meds. Some time later they'll convince  her that with god on her side, she doesn't need to keep taking those  meds that are making her get fatter and fatter. God is all powerful and  will help her get through it.\n\nDo I  even need to say it? After a couple weeks without the meds she is  completly changed, she doesn't recognize me anymore, start hearing  voices, seeing things that are there. When she gets like this, she  thinks I'm the devil or some evil spirit.\n\nYesterday  I moved to another house. The bills are coming up, it's all in her  name, she doesn't have any money. Most likely she will end up on the  streets in a couple months, and I don't care. I've had enough of this  shit. Last time she got better I told her if she stopped taking her meds  I would leave her to tend for herself, and so did.\n\nSo AITA for leaving her when I know she can't take care of herself? ######","completion":" NTA - And yeah, these situations just plain suck.  \n\n\nThe fact is that schizophrenia simply cannot be cured, and it's SO common for sufferers to get stuck in that endless cycle of take meds, get better, quit meds, go off the deep end, get rescued, take meds, get better, etc etc etc  \n\n\nIn my experience, when someone is in this bad a state, the only thing that will really keep them safe is to have someone taking full responsibility for their lives, for the rest of their lives. They simply cannot do it themselves, so someone's got to be in charge of that cycle.  \n\n\nAnd if you just can't be that person, then you just can't. I mean even if we set aside the years of frustration and hurt and trauma and resentment, not everyone is cut out to be responsible for a mentally ill person every single day for the rest of their lives. ######"}
{"prompt":"So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150\/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######","completion":" NTA - and they most certainly would push if the situation were reversed. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (26M) ate something bad last night and had to spend a majority of the evening and this morning in the bathroom because I was sick. My girlfriend (24F) came and stayed over this weekend because it had been a while since we saw each other. As I mentioned above I had to spend a majority of the morning in the bathroom because I literally cant stop going, my insides feel like they are tearing each other apart. She decided to leave earlier than planned because \"she was bored\" and was just \"sitting around with her thumb up her ass\" while I was having an exorcism out of mine. Now shes angry at me because of that and because she felt bored when I was feeling sick and had to stay in the bathroom. AITA for not sucking it up and spending time with her?\n\nTl;dr Girlfriend left early because she was \"bored\" because I had to spend the morning in the bathroom due to eating something bad. ######","completion":" NTA - and I gotta say: People who only want you at your best, and aren’t there for you when you’re at your worst, don’t deserve you at all ######"}
{"prompt":"Obligatory throwaway and such.\n\nI have severe phobias and delusions related to things like hacking, surveillance, government monitoring, along with things like cameras and microphones. It's a legitimate phobia, I'm in therapy and am on medications.\n\nMy family has been trying to arrange many group Zoom meetings lately and they keep contacting me about joining in.\n\nGiven my issues I think that using Zoom and webcams would cause me delusions that would set my progress back. My family are old and think 'positive thinking' is enough to cure mental health, so I'm afraid to confide in them about my paranoia since I know a lot of it is truly irrational.\n\nAITA for lying and telling them I can't join in due to computer problems instead? ######","completion":" NTA - and I don’t think the other people saying ‘use Skype’ or another app understand that’s it’s not just zoom, but (from what I gather) paranoia about surveillance in general. I would recommend asking your therapist for advice on how to approach this with your family. But you know your family best and if you believe they wouldn’t accept your diagnosis then that’s up to you to if you disclose your medical information. You’re not an asshole for your mental illness ######"}
{"prompt":"Pretty simple story.\n \nI recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms.\n \nI didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise.\n \nWhen I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized.\n \nI just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong.\n \nSo, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - and definitely not the equivalent of cheating. It seems more like a joke, it seems pretty funny to me. If things got hot and heavy and my friend's face appeared on a condom I'd bust out in laughter\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEDIT: Damn 3.4k upvotes on a post about condoms... Interesting... OP mail me one of your condoms ######"}
{"prompt":"My cousin's birthday is coming up and she had asked me about a week ago if I'd be willing to to draw her OC's (orginal characters) for her instead of getting her a present. I normally never agree to do free work for people, because it can very quickly snowball out of control if someone heard I was doing free work, but since she's my family and it's her birthday  I agreed to do it. However, once she sent me the details of what she wanted I very quickly backed out.\n\nWithout going into too much detail she wanted some NSFW (not safe for work) art of her OC's doing some very NSFW things to each other. I let her know that I don't do NSFW stuff, but would still be willing to draw her characters as long as we kept things PG-13. No judgement or anything like that, just letting her know that I wasn't comfortable with doing NSFW stuff. She didn't take it well and this led into several days worth of angry texts and phone calls between the two of us that eventually culminated in me telling her to find someone else to take the commission and her writing a melodramatic rant on her Facebook and Instagram about how I was slut shaming and kink shaming her. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - and am I the prude here or does it seem icky to give orignal NSFW ideas to a family member to draw for you? Sharing a NSFW joke you find on the internet is one thing... this is not that. It's more like going to your cousin and saying \"here's my most intimate sexual fantasies. Want to draw them for me so I can really enjoy them?\" Um... some things are just not meant to be shared with family. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I stayed at my boyfriends place (it's in a different city) for 18 days exactly so under 3 weeks and for the bills of the house it's normally £40 each for three of them each month. So £120 in total.\n\nI did my bit and pay £30 to contribute to this bill (which is for a month and just 18 days) so I paid bills for a longer period than what I stayed for but didnt mind.\n\nI cleaned their house on a regular basis out of gratiuted for letting me stay there, I literally transformed their bathroom, did their washing up and regularly hoovered the living room whilst no of them did any of this.\n\nI left last Saturday and sent my boyfriend this money on the day. My boyfriend texted me today saying that his flatmates want £100 instead of £30.\n\nI am pretty gobsmacked, this is so much money. And a cost that was not agreed with me at the beginning. During my stay my boyfriend gave lots of opportunity ies for them to give me a price to do my bit but they didn't seize the chance for us to come with a mutual agreement. They shoved it off so assumed they were just chill and weren't bother. \n\nI'm a full time postgraduate student and depend on student finance. £100 is alot of money to me (and I'm sure it is to many people) \n\nI said I don't want to pay the £100 they're charging me. Am I the Asshole? \n\nTDLR: My boyfriends flatmates charged me £100 for staying at their house temporarily for 18 days and I refused. ######","completion":" NTA - An amount was agreed and it sounds like you've paid most of your boyfriend's share of the bills for that period. It sounds like they're trying to retroactively get you to pay theirs as well. Additionally, it's not like you just sat there and ramped up the bills. You did the housework for them and did they thank you for it? ######"}
{"prompt":"A little backstory:\nMy sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.\n\nMy nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before. \n\nI don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.\n\nSo, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######","completion":" Nta - also, the “extra bedroom” is not ‘extra’ or a ‘bedroom’ It is your ‘whatever’ room and is not available. Why does your sister think she has any claim to it? If she thinks that she is just renting you a room in her house, why is she charging you half the rent and extras on top? You are being taken advantage of here. ######"}
{"prompt":"For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!\n\nMy parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing. \n\nWhat happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.\n\nTo my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:\n\nMum: “You must share your tablet”\n\nMe: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”\n\nMum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”\n\nMe: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”\n\nMum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”\n\nThis led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.\n\nAm I overreacting? Help me Reddit ######","completion":" NTA - After your added info it is evident that rightfully it should belong to you. Calmly explain to your parents that not only was this a gift intended for you, you also contributed to buy it. You're happy to watch your brother use it just to make sure it doesn't get scratched because you can't afford to fix it or replace it yourself. (If they still say no ask for the money you contributed back as that implies it's not yours and you shouldn't have paid for it!) ######"}
{"prompt":"I’ve always struggled at school since I was a kid, I would drift off and daydream or get distracted and fidget and forget what I was supposed to be doing, or just be really restless and it would annoy people. My teachers suggested I get tested a few times, but my parents don’t really believe in ADHD, they think it’s just a label for boys who’ve had too much sugar and not enough discipline, and that people just use it as an excuse for being lazy and just needed to try harder. \n\nI ended up dropping out of high-school because I couldn’t keep up even though I swear I was putting in a monumental effort, and tried TAFE instead, where I failed 2 courses and barely passed one with all the additional help they offered. I really don’t think I’m dumb though, I just really struggle to sit still and concentrate long enough to get the information in my head and process it, and especially now that everything is online I’m terrible at time management and sometimes I want to start I just can’t get myself moving. \nI get really overwhelmed by the work and my brain will just be like “nope” and then trying to force myself to sit there and read a paragraph is like smacking my head against a brick wall and I come away absolutely mentally exhausted and need to like sit and stare off into space for a few hours to recuperate. \n\nI’ve just failed another course for getting too far behind, but I’ve actually moved out of home and could go to a doctor and get checked without my Mum knowing, but I feel bad about going behind their back and she’ll  probably find out anyway and be really angry. And if I did end up having ADHD, she would definitely get angry at me for trying to get treated. I just want to find out what’s wrong with my brain so I can actually study and get a job and have a life instead of constantly failing everything. ######","completion":" NTA - ADHD is a very real thing and your parents are serious AHs  for making you go through your entire School career this way. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I dated a YouTuber.\n\nWe went out for about a year and it was alright but they were so emotionally invested in their channel that they constantly neglected me and made me feel like I wasn't a priority.\n\nNot really important why we broke up, but we broke up.\n\nThen I get a bunch of messages from friends about 3 months later telling me to go to their channel. I'm pretty much done with them but I do and I realise they made a video about me where they claim I was emotionally abusive.\n\nI continued to get messages from strangers telling me how awful a person I was and how they hoped I died through various means.\n\nSo I sued my ex.\n\nIt ruined them. I knew they were financially in a bad spot and they likely couldn't afford court fees but the case dragged.\n\nThey made a video about not being able to afford court costs and such and how it was going to ruin them.\n\nAfter which a bunch of friends started telling me to just let it go and move on but I had sunk money into the case as well. It wasn't cheap for me either so I didn't just let it go.\n\nEventually the judge ruled in my favor and I received a total of nothing from my ex......\n\nBut it meant I could link to the result in the comments section of every video she tried to frame me as the bad guy because in our state, court proceedings are public record.\n\nSuddenly her viewership dropped and she blamed me for ruining her life.\n\nA bunch of my friends said I went too far and should've just taken the court win and left her alone.\n\nWas I the asshole? ######","completion":" NTA - Actions have consequences. Her \"content\" could have ruined YOUR life, but nobody thinks about that huh? ######"}
{"prompt":"I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.\n\nAbout a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.\n\nAbout a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - absolutely not. I don't think I have to point this out but obviously your dad is the asshole here.\n\nI completely get where your spouse is coming from. Maybe rather than it being \"business as usual\" for your spouse and children, you could agree with your spouse a level of communications that you both feel comfortable with, or as comfortable as you can be?\n\nI'm really sorry your dad's being an asshole about this. ######"}
{"prompt":"I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said \"oh! Just like me but with penis.\" we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.\n\nAnd during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that \" OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type\". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these \"you're my type\" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.\n\nI told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because \"she can't even joke around anymore\" and ended the chat.\nWe never speak about it again.\n\nI talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.\n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - a joke is a joke, but even jokes can be pushed to the point of not being funny. Seemed you handled it well, she just didnt like the \"rejection\". ######"}
{"prompt":"My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.\n\nWhile staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a \"makeover\" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.\n\nMy hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my \"new haircut\" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),\nAnd because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said \" Honestly, It could've been worse!\".\n\n\"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why\".\n\nBIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?\n\nSister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.\n\nDad: We didn't lie, we like it.\n\nBIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!\n\nI was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't \"want to apologize\" my sister told him to.\n\nHe put on his \"sorry face\" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.\nI pretended to be \"okay\" and before he walked out he turned around and said \"piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you\" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######","completion":" NTA - a grown man bullying a young girl. Wow, what an ass. ######"}
{"prompt":"(This happened a while ago, no big weddings during a pandemic for me, dw!) \n\nI (24F) was the maid of honour at the wedding of my brother and his wife (my sister in law). \n\nWhile we were planning the wedding, my SIL mentioned how overbearing her mom can be, and how she always feels bad asking her to stop being an attention hog. I told my SIL that on the wedding day, I'd take care of her, no matter what. \n\nSure enough, MIL pulls up to the wedding wearing a WHITE dress (something my SIL guessed she'd do). I saw her get out of her car and start walking towards the venue, so I pulled her aside before anyone could see her and brought her in through a side entrance.\n\nI told her that it was inappropriate to wear white at someone else's wedding, and that if she wanted to attend, she'd have to change. I had my SIL give me some of MIL's nice dresses, so I had a few for her to chose from. \n\nMIL flipped out on me. She told me I had no right to ask her to change and that I was being a pain in the ass on an emotional day. She started crying and went to look for her husband, so I updated SIL &amp; she told me if MIL would rather miss her own daughter's wedding rather than just change her dress, she could miss it. \n\nMIL ended up changing, but made a HUGE deal out of it and went home early during the reception because she \"didn't feel welcome\". She still maintains that I was out of line. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I do feel really shitty for potentially being the reason my SIL wasn't able to enjoy her wedding fully with her mother (even though SIL still had crazy amounts of fun). AITA? ######","completion":" NTA - a fucking standing ovation to you! Holy shit that is AMAZING. Ni you are not the asshole, you are a fantastic friend and a dutiful maid of honor. You are the reason this post is here and not on one of those “how did your mom completely ruin your wedding?” threads. ######"}
{"prompt":"I went off on my boyfriend for him mentioning his weight preferences\n\nMy boyfriend pointed out that my stomach looks a bit round in a playful manner, since I’m bloated bc of pms. I ask if he likes it and he said  that it’s cute, but he prefers a slimmer look. This doesn’t seem like a hurtful comment but this is the 5th time he’s expressed his weight preferences to me. He says “if you loose weight, you’ll be hotter, but you’re really hot now. You’ll be hotter even if you’re more fat, but I just prefer more slim” the first time it wasn’t so bad but, now it’s getting on my nerves on how often he has to address his weight preferences. I snapped at him saying “did I ask? Did I ask what you prefer? I’m on my period. Are you my personal trainer or something?” And he said he only said it because he knows I’m trying to loose the weight I gained over quarantine, and was trying to let me know that he’s supporting my fitness and not trying to make me backtrack by complimenting a squishy area. He always says weight doesn’t matter to him, but then says he wants a slim girlfriend. I’m really tired of arguing about why he should respect my sensitivity to weight conversations. Am I a jerk for snapping at him? ######","completion":" NTA - “You want a slim girlfriend. I want a considerate boyfriend. Not everyone gets what they want all the time.” ######"}
{"prompt":"So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA?\n\nEdit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life\n\nEdit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######","completion":" NTA - “I’m sorry if I hurt you”? What a b.s. apology. ######"}
{"prompt":"So recently I (25M) made a post on my facebook about how my student loan debt was nearly whipped. Paid off my first one last year, and as of right now, it looks like I can get this last one paid off by the time I get out of the army at the end of this year. \n\nSo naturally I wanted to share the good news with everyone.\n\nWhat I wasn't expecting was a bunch of old friends complaining and accusing me of being an asshole because they weren't even close to paying off their debt.\n\nLook, I'ma pretty competitive guy, but if I post something sharing some good news thats happening to me, I'm not competing by saying 'Ha suck it nerds, I'm better at managing money than you.' I was simply sharing good news and what to me is a huge milestone in life. ######","completion":" NTA - “Comparison is the thief of joy”. This isn’t about them. It’s about you. They should be happy for you instead of being jealous.  if you couldn’t share an accomplishment because it might upset someone else who hasn’t accomplished it.. you would literally never be able to share anything ever. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (29f) going to get married this September (if a certain unnamed virus let us). For important context, I am white but my fiancée (31m) is Chinese-American. I’m going to admit that I’m one of those girls who has been planning her dream wedding since I was a girl. \nMy husband doesn’t care as much and told me that I could plan the entire thing to my heart’s content with one caveat - there’s an important Chinese tea ceremony wherein the bride and groom make tea for both sets of parents and then the parents give them gifts. It’s incredibly important to him and the only thing he wants on our wedding day (Okay, he also consulted on the food and he wants to marry me lol).\n\nHe’s been planning that which will happen shortly before the wedding and will be a smaller ceremony with only family and very close friends. Today, while zooming with my parents, my parents said they found the whole ritual absurd and stupid and that she was going to skip it. Well, considering they’re an integral part of it, that doesn’t work for me. They couldn’t even explain why they thought the ritual was stupid, just that it was. I basically told them that if they skipped the tea ceremony, they should skip the wedding as well.\n\nThat led to a lot of crying and arguments and now my parents aren’t talking to me and my sisters have sent me texts about how irrational I’m being, how I’m being cruel, and how I’m being a bridezilla. But...this is important to my future husband so it’s important to me. It’s the only thing he really insisted upon for this wedding. But they are my parents and I want them to beat my wedding. \n\nAITA? ######","completion":" NTA - \n\nThat's absurd. It sounds like this tea ceremony is basically part of the wedding. I'd be more understanding if they were hesitant or nervous about messing something up, but it sounds like they're just being stubborn and controlling.\n\nI say stand your ground. They're overstepping their boundaries here and if barring them from the wedding is the only thing that will make them understand that then do it. ######"}
{"prompt":"So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.\n\nNow a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like \"I've lost all ties to this family\" or \"My family is falling apart\". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with \"Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?\" \n\nI feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?\n\nSo AITA?\n\nTL\/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######","completion":" NTA - \n\n> I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right? \n\nYou summed it up perfectly yourself. Whilst you aren't an asshole here in my opinion, and just because someone is blood related doesn't mean they act like family. I would suggest maybe letting the past be the past and build a relationship based upon present rather than resenting the past. ######"}
{"prompt":"When I say every single time, I mean every single time she does it in front of me and it's becoming a problem with the family because they think I'm being disrespectful and she's old and doesn't get it. Even my husband is like \"I agree with you but she won't budge so just let it go\" \n\nNo I dont think I will.\n\nMy son is ftm, he realised he wasnt a girl at age 6, and from there I supported him all the way until he figured it out. He's now 19 and will medically start transitioning in a few years I'm very proud of him. Family outside of us (parents) and siblings thought he was just a tomboy all this time and he only recently made the decision to come out to everyone else. Mother-in-law who always pushed for him to be \"a girly girl\" and thought something was wrong with him for not being feminine like his sisters is now misgendering him at every turn, texting us and lecturing us and giving unsolicited advice about his identity THE JOURNEY OF WHICH HE CHOSE TO LEAVE HER OUT OF. She also seems to think him being trans is now my fault because since I defend his pronouns so hard, maybe I pushed them which........okay. It's gotten to the point where she'll say things over text like \"maybe if you buy her dresses\" and I'll say \"he doesn't like dresses.\" Over. And over. And over. And over.\n\nNow she thinks I'm being disrespectful but I don't know what she wants me to do? Let her misgender him? A lot of family is telling me I'm being petty for no reason, but I don't think so??? I don't think I'm being an asshole for DEFENDING MY CHILD but a lot of people seem to think so. My husband thinks straight up blocking her would be an even bigger dick move because she's \"just old\" but that's where I'm headed. ######","completion":" NTA - \"they're just old, they don't get it\" is bullshit. It means they've lived through every major Equal Rights protest in modern history and haven't bothered to learn anything. \n\nYou're doing the right thing by advocating for your son and refusing to let someone disrespect his gender identity. His mental health is way more important than wether or not your MIL feels disrespected. Especially since she's the one being disrespectful. ######"}
{"prompt":"For background, i have 2 horses. Both are older (mid to late 20s), but one is very old (nearing 30), small (just above pony size and just under 1000 lbs) and has some back and hip issues. She is still in great shape for her age, is very muscular, and still enjoys riding. We trail ride up the mountains near our barn, usually 1.5-2 hours a ride, and they can be difficult and steep, but she does great with me (I am taller but weigh around 115 lbs). \n\nWhen I bring friends riding, they ride the smaller, older horse and I ride the younger one. This is because the younger horse is very sensitive and not beginner friendly whereas the older one is not sensitive and great for all levels of riding. Because of aforementioned issues, I am selective about who I let ride her as it’s difficult for her to carry too much weight, especially up the steep hills and for an extended period of time. \n\nI have a friend who is well over 200 lbs, does not know anything about horses, and asked to ride with me. I said no and was honest about why, but still offered for her to come groom them and spend time with them on the ground. She went straight to the body shaming tactic, I was skinny so I don’t understand, the horse is fine if she’s always galloping around with me, bigger people deserve to ride too, she’s shorter than me so it evens out, I’m gate keeping horses, etc. I just told her my horse was an animal with limitations, not a machine, and that I’m not going to sacrifice her welfare to spare her feelings. She was furious and we haven’t spoken since. Some friends (who all re also not into horses) think one ride would be fine and I’m being an asshole about her weight. I strongly disagree, I even agreed with her that bigger people can ride, they just need a horse suitable for their size and my horse is not that. So, AITA? ######","completion":" NTA -  horses are not cars.  Weight matters ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I have been married for 4 years and instead of having a wedding we eloped. \n\nMy mother was completely devastated. No one else in my family really  cared, everyone was very happy that we got married. For the past 4 years my mother has been asking us to have a “real” wedding. She says it’s completely unfair we eloped and brings it up constantly.\n\nMy mother sends me photos of weddings dresses, has cried at family gatherings over the fact we won’t get married and took the dress I wore when I eloped and wore it. She mentioned multiple times that she looked better it in than I did and posted photos on social media of her in my dress. \n\nEven though it’s been 4 years, she is adamant that we should have a “wedding” for our fifth anniversary. She wants us to have a cake that we can cut together, me to have a dance with my dad and to have a huge party with relatives. We keep saying no but she proceeds to bring it up when other family members are around. She has said she will never forget that we took away experiencing a wedding from her. \n\nShe has offered to spend ridiculous amounts of money for a wedding and we have politely declined. She has told us we won’t be getting any money from her for anything else because the offer of money was only for a wedding (we don’t care)\n\nSo AITA? My family is torn. Some people think we should have a party so my mother can get over it and some have said wta for eloping since weddings are for family. My husband and I do not want to have a wedding and are glad we eloped. I have other siblings so it isn’t like there will never be a wedding. ######","completion":" NTA  You're not a doll for her to play dress-up with.\n\nA marriage is the important thing. A wedding, not so much. Your priorities seem great to me.\n\nStealing your dress, wearing it, taking photos, showing them around, and remarking on how she looked better...wow. If you needed any proof that \"your\" wedding would just be all about her, there it is. Save yourself many migraines and keep saying no. ######"}
{"prompt":"My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.\n\nWell that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ######","completion":" NTA  You son in law poked the wrong bear.  If he did want to start shit he should be f8cking around with the guy who lets him live there. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband (30M) and I (26F) have been together for about 5 years but married for 2. In the early start of our relationship, I wanted to make sure my in laws be okay with my race (African American), and he assured me that they would be. Every month for the past 2 years of us being married, I have encountered a racial wtf kinda statement from his dad specifically. Two years later, I’m about fed up. I can’t deal with the racial comments anymore and since the state of our world (racial tension and division) his dad has found it easier to make these comments. My husband quickly defends me but justifies his fathers actions saying that he doesn’t know any better and that he’s just ignorant. I told my husband at first that I wanted nothing to do with his family, that the relationship with them was causing me too much distress and depression. After a few phone calls, and half assed apologies from his dad, my husband seems to forget everything like it didn’t even happen. I hate that I gave him an ultimatum but I told him to choose his dad or me. I told him I was not subjecting myself or our future kids to his fathers racial insensitivity. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA  The fact that your husband has been ok with this going on for two years says quite a lot, doesn't it? Not to mention that he actually defends his father! I'm sorry your husband has failed you like this OP, at this point he actually has to make a choice. ######"}
{"prompt":"I (f\/20) am planning to move together with a friend (same age) of mine next summer, once I have graduated.\n\nMy parents do know this said friend, as we know each other since high school. At first, my parents once I confronted them about my plans, didn't say anything and were actually even happy that I won't live lonely on my own. \n\nLater this day, my mom (with who I don't have a really good relationship, see my last post) came to me and asked me to stay with them until I turn 23. Her reasoning behind it is, that I have to pay them money (approx. About 500€, as they won't get child support from me anymore) so they're able to live themselves as they're in big debt. I'm already \"used\" to the fact that I have to pay them some money, as I already pay about 150€ each month to them.\n\nI have no interest in staying any longer in my parents house as I have to, for the sake of my mental health. On the other hand, as I wouldn't live with them anymore, I wouldn't see a point of paying them money, that I have earned.\n\nAm I thinking selfish or is my mom just trying to find a reason for me to stay? ######","completion":" NTA  Phew, your parents did a number on you!  It is not okay to ask a child to continue living with you because you lose income if they leave.  Parenting is all about doing everything you can to prepare your child for adulthood.  That means leaving home when you are old enough and financially ready.  GTFO!!! ######"}
{"prompt":"So I'm new to this sub and I apologize in advance for any formatting mistakes.\n\nMy friend (22f) texted me a video of this good looking dude she saw at a restaurant. I noticed that she seemed to be recording over someone's shoulder so  I texted her about it and she told me she was on a date with her boyfriend.\n\nHer boyfriend (23m) is extremely caring and kind. He treats her really nicely and they've been dating for around 5 mo. He's really kind to her, nice to her friends and has good manners, keeps their apartment clean, etc. He's a really good guy and I'm really happy for her.\n\nAnyway I texted her as a joke \"did you really take this video of a handsome guy while you were on a date with BF name?\" and she told me she did because he was \"So fine\".\n\nSo I was like \"WTF?\" I thought this was really disrespectful of her to do, especially right in front of her own boyfriend. So I tried to tell her that, but she told me that she only recorded it because the other guy was really hot and she wanted to show me. \n\nSo it seemed like she was dodging my questions so I just outright told her \"Taking a video of a hot guy while you're on a date with your boyfriend is really disrespectful to him.\" She got really upset and told me that I shouldn't be meddling in their relationship and that she only took the video to show me. \n\nAITA for doing this? ... ######","completion":" NTA  Hugely disrespectful to her boyfriend, and also just creepy in general.  Filming\/photographing a stranger in public because they are hot is just gross. ######"}
{"prompt":"My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.\n\nMy brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat. \n\nI said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######","completion":" NTA  How incredibly rude and self-centered of your relatives, to think that they can dictate how you grieve.  Stick to your guns.  Get your husband to run interference on your behalf if they don't want to listen to you.  But don't go to please other people. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so basically my mum is absolutely furious with me and thinks I’m a shit stirrer, but I’m a huge believer in consent and that people should, you know, be aware of what goes into their mouths. \n\nMy mum has been making a stew for all of us for years and years, and tbh it’s ok. It’s not amazing, it’s not vile, but it was a staple she insisted on making and like I say, it was just alright. \n\nShe recently had the butcher deliver to the house and she asked me to bring the meat in, pack it away, and put it into the freezer. So I went about doing it when I came across a rather large amount of hearts, kidney, liver, etc. I was a bit (okay very) disgusted with the smell and was like wtf maybe the butcher gave this for the dog, idk. \n\nSo I asked my mum and she looked really shifty and said yeah, it all goes into the stew and that she hasn’t told my dad because he’d never eat it if he knew. She said she purposefully waits for my dad to be out the house before making it so he doesn’t know what’s inside.\n\nI said that was pretty unfair, especially considering my dad has a really manual job and he works super hard and my mum regularly tells him she makes that stew for his lunch because ‘it’s easy and she can’t be bothered’ but yet everyday while he’s at work she’ll treat herself to M&amp;S or Waitrose finest food. (super fancy shops in the UK) and my poor dad will treat her to delicious fry ups on the weekends and actually put effort into making her nice food. \n\nI texted my dad and said just so you know there’s pig hearts in your stew, when he came home he told my mum he didn’t want it anymore and that it’s disgusting that she’s made him eat that all these years. \n\nShe’s absolutely furious with me and is accusing me of favouritism, of disregarding her, and that I’m a little arsehole for snitching to my dad. ######","completion":" NTA  Hmmm on the one hand there's nothing wrong with those foods but on the other hand she shouldn't be shifty about what she feeds people ######"}
{"prompt":"I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general.\n\nOn the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks!\n\nWhen I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful.\n\nI got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks.\n\nAm I the asshole here? ######","completion":" NTA  He was being a selfish prick. You were completely justified in telling him to leave. ######"}
{"prompt":"I was just fired from my job that ha given me a company phone. I was not given a chance to remove personal information like passwords and personal accounts off of it. It also had text messages from company contacts and workers. After 12 hours I did a remote erase of the phone being that I still had access to it via find my device. Ex employer confronted me about it and is super pissed. I brought up that the last person fired (for completely different reasons) didn't have the intelligence to erase her phone so the owner and his wife went thru all of her personal stuff on her phone and to my knowledge still do because she hasn't changed her FB password? There were a couple other things that he was acting about ( he saw me pull into a gas station, he doesn't have my new phone number) that irrelevant to this question. ######","completion":" NTA  but why would you have your personal stuff on a company phone? ######"}
{"prompt":"I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.   \n\n\nWe opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress  and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)  \n\n\nThe laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.   \n\n\nI could go on, but I think you get the idea. \nEdit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.\n\nI took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence. \n\nHonestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?\n\nEdit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ######","completion":" NTA  At first I was thinking \"state of her home\" meant clothes on the floor or messy counters.  You're talking dead deer carcass left to rot beneath a bunch of mattresses?  \n\nYou would be the AH if you did not contact someone about them. ######"}
{"prompt":"I’m (18) currently living with my parents since my college has been shut down. My older brother (20)  lives with my parents, too. \n\nI’ve been staying in my old room while my parents have made the basement into an apartment-style room for my brother. Basically, he has a small fridge, microwave and bathroom down there. \n \nI was getting out of the shower in the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom when I got the feeling that someone was watching me. Since my parents are at work (they’re both essential workers) and my brother in the basement (or so I thought), I ignored the feeling and continued to dry off. However, I started to get creeped out, so I turned around (It’s hard to describe the layout of the bathroom, so I’ll just say that my back was to the door) and saw my brother in the crack of the door. It was only opened a little bit but it was enough to see his face before he ran out of my bedroom (note: I always close my bedroom door before I shower). \n\nI quickly got dressed and ran after him, shouting that he was so fucking creepy and a huge pervert and I’m going to tell mom and dad what a creep he is. \n\nHe slammed the basement door closed in my face and locked it. I tried to jingle the door handle open while continuing to yell how creepy he is. After a few minutes, I ran back up to my room and locked my bedroom door, feeing so gross and violated. \n\nLater, I was on FT with my friend and told her what happened. She laughed and said that he was probably just fucking around and trying to scare me. I disagreed but she’s convinced that I overreacted and should just prank him back.\n\nSo, Reddit, AITA for calling my brother creepy? ######","completion":" NTA  as someone who is an older brother of girls, it's not funny or acceptable at all and if caught one of my brothers looking at one of my sisters, i would have threw him out in the garden and gave him a smack or two.\n\nAt his age, it is pretty serious and i would consider telling your parents very soon, it is actually grounds for serious action but that bit is your call. ######"}
{"prompt":"\nSo I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.\n\nOne of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.\n\nI said that sucked.\n\nThis one girl Talia spoke up and said\n\n“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”\n\nSo people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office. \n\nTalia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.\n\nTo be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.\n\nTalia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60. \n\nOne of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.\n\nA different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######","completion":" NTA  $60 is a lot to a high school student.  Hell, it could be a lot for some adults.  If she was a close friend and you had the money, it would be one thing, but she was only an acquaintance.  \n\nAnd she had the money, but she \"lost it\" before she could pay her fee?  Why is that your fault?!  Are you also the only person she asked? ######"}
{"prompt":"I love kids but I want a kid free night. My family won’t stop asking if they can bring there kids and I say no kids allowed every time. My cousins are calling me an asshole and selfish for not letting them come. They said they should be allowed to bring there kids because they are well behaved and don’t want to pay for a babysitter. I don’t have kids but I don’t think I would ever assume I could bring my kids to someone else’s wedding. ######","completion":" NTA  — It’s your wedding.   They don’t have to come if they don’t want to abide by the wedding rules.  Also though, and I can’t stress this enough, you don’t have any right to be upset if some people don’t come because of this rule.  But no, you’re NTA.  I hope you have an amazing wedding. ######"}
{"prompt":"So me and my sister were jogging.......or well I was she was on her little scooter following me lol.  When we got back she was bored when I was watching tv and started to climb all over me.  I humored her and we were wrestling for a little bit (I am the tickle attack king lol).  As we were wrestling and goofing off I saw her grabbing at my bra, (I was in a sports bra and running shorts) and nearly pulled the whole thing down.\n\nI completely got off of her and told her that taking off girl's bras are a big no no and its like a private area.  She didn't really understand what I was saying but she was giggling a whole lot.  My mom was in the kitchen and told me not to lecture or parent my sister cause thats their job.  I tried to explain the situation to my mom but she didn't want to hear it and then went to tell my sister the exact same thing I was trying to say.\n\nMy mom said next time to just call her to parent her cause \"its not my job\".  AITA? ######","completion":" NTA  \nYou weren't parenting. You were being a good big sister.  \nI think your mom might be overly worried that your sister might get weird ideas about sexuality. But calling her in to take care of this minor issue would make it into a much bigger deal than it was in the first place.  \nIMO a seven year old is plenty old enough to know about \"private areas\" and it seems like your mom should have had this talk with her already. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a \"it's not fair\" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former \"deadbeat\" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??  \n\nLe sigh... ######","completion":" NTA  \nThe money isn't his, never was his, and him not keeping track of the fact that he wasn't going to receive it (because he is a still technically a deadbeat with support in arrears) is entirely his own fault and not yours or your responsibility to rectify.  \n  \nTake the money, take care of your kid with it as it is meant to, and don't worry about his finances. Those stopped being your problem with the two of you split. ######"}
{"prompt":"So I (m33) met my wife (f34) 10 years ago in high school via a friend. She introduced me to Fleetwood Mac, and one of my favorite songs is \"black magic woman\" and as a cute nickname, i started calling her that.. She thought it was funny, and it's been a cute little inside joke between us. \nShe's half Colombian, Half Jamaican, but I never really thought of her skin color when I started calling her that.\nYesterday, me, her and her high school friend she hadn't seen in many years were hanging out at home. They were catching up on each other's lives, and I was just watching TV. She suddenly stood up and went to the kitchen and asked us if we wanted to have tea. I said \"sure, black magic woman!\" to her as she laughed a little. \nWhen she had gone to the kitchen, her friend angry and offended accused me of racism and called me a dickhead. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA  \nJesus.  Mentioning race is not the same as demeaning, belittling, insulting or otherwise being unkind to that race.  If you point to Denzel Washington and say \"he's black\", that isn't racist.  It's weird, but not racist.   \n\"Magic woman\" sure as shit isn't insulting.  \n\n\n\"Black Magic\" doesn't even refer to skin color, \"black magic\" is a type of magic.    \n\n\nNeither interpretation, whether she's a black, magic woman or a black-magic woman is racist.  If she doesn't mind, you're in the clear.  The friend is being knee-jerk defensive because just mentioning someone's skin color is wrong now. ######"}
{"prompt":"Okay so long story short, I'm basically flat chested A cup. My boyfriend and I argue alot, and one of the things he constantly points out it that I don't wear a bra. \n\nThey're uncomfortable for me because they're always too big, they look and feel stupid on me and I just hate them. He commented in an argument that I wore one when we first dated. (I wore a pushup to look good in the dresses I had) \n...Which I stopped wearing after he saw me naked. By then theres no point. He'd seen what I really look like. \n\nI lack alot of confidence when it comes to my body, and every time I want to go out he demands I wear a bra, nothing low-cut, nothing tight. He makes comments about not wanting people to stare at my nipples.\n\nI wear baggy clothing around him all the time, and he still complains. \n\nReddit, am I the asshole for not wearing a bra? ######","completion":" NTA  \nbut from the sound of it and what I read in the comments, he is manipulating you and you need to GET OUT. ######"}
{"prompt":"My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.\n\nWe live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses\/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.\n\nWhen my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1\/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.\n\nLast week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.\n\nI mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.\n\nWe let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######","completion":" NTA  \n\n\nYou said your MIL is 'difficult' and 'overbearing' and what you tell seems you are right.  \nIf they just offered to do you a favor, they wouldn't be upset.   \n\n\nIt seems like they tried to catch you and control you. Be careful. Don't be too close is the right decision. ######"}
{"prompt":"Long story short:\n\nI had a girlfriend just short of 2 years (ended last summer, last contact in October). Things got ugly and ended on bad terms (I think). She basically destroyed me and my plans and I was left in a dark hole and on the verge of losing it completely for many months before I slowly recovered (she happily jumped to the next guy within weeks of breaking up with me).\nI have since moved on to new people and at one point, recently, I received a text message from my ex telling me to stop seeing this one person she knows. Since it was my phone number she texted, I pretended that I didn't know who it was and left it at that.\n\nA couple of weeks later (meaning this past weekend), I actually bump into her in the shop. I'm with a new intern at the company I work at and she is trying to stop me to talk, or something, but I ignore her, until I stop and tell her that I don't know her and that she's mistaken me for someone else. Intern chuckles a bit, but looks mostly confused.\n\nShe is annoyed. Upset. Angry. Something. Calls me a jerk and tells me to get my act together and stop pretending I don't know her. I think I convincingly pull off the act that she's a crazy woman who must have mistaken me for someone, since she left in a rage and my new co-worker was laughing and asking me what the hell he just witnessed (to which I pretended I was just as baffled).\n\nI had lunch with my mother today and I mentioned this; to which she told me I was being an immature asshole.\n\nWhat do you think? ######","completion":" NTA  \n\n\nOwned. ######"}
{"prompt":"Me and her (f) have been friends for a while but one day f decided to spread a malicious rumour about me. I wont go into detail but it caused me a lot of suffering in school.\n\nF said privately to me that she felt bad about what was happening (bear in mind that this was weeks after things started escalating) and I wouldnt take her private apology for one reason. She blamed it all on her hormones. She got annoyed at me and asked what she could do to make things right. I simply told her to tell the entire school which she adamantly refused. So I made her. (I made her speak in assembly, in my school students can make important announcements if needed). She cried. A lot.\n\nThe people in my school are very mixed, most of the guys immediately apologised for everything and took my side saying it was right. (I'm a guy btw). However, most of the girls took her side and said that I had no right to do that. So reddit, AITA?\n\nTl:dr Theres about to be a civil war in my school because I made a girl admit to her lies. ######","completion":" NTA  \n\n\nLying for no reason is wrong, especially when it's caused you so much grief. I think you were completely justified in bringing her lies to light. Doesn't matter what gender they are or what the lie was about - The fact is that she lied, and she had no reason to really do so. Awful Rumours are not okay, even if you wronged her in some way. They can really damage lives.   \n\n\nAlso, she doesn't sound like a friend you want to have, in my opinion. ######"}
{"prompt":"On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. \nMy nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life. \nMy boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying.\nMy nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes. \nI got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this. \nOne of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying \"come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard.\" And \"it'll only take 5 minutes.\" But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video. \nI'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######","completion":" NTA  \n\n\nI'd say that even if you weren't already going through something so difficult (I am sorry about your nan), you would still not be the asshole for not taking part in their silly activity.    \n\n\nThat having been said, asshole or no, these goofy office practices are sadly the way people get noticed and promoted.  I *hate* that people play the \"not part of the team\" card just because people won't do stupid games, but, if you want promoted that might be a bullet you have to bite. ######"}
{"prompt":"My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me. \n\nHe posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. \"broke the bro code\", \"check my privilege\" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on \"shallow tinder girls\".\n\nAita? ######","completion":" NTA  \n\n\nFuck the \"bro code\" or any other code they throw at you.   \n\n\nYou simply reminded another human being that their lack of success is from their own actions and not because girls are unfair. ######"}
{"prompt":"I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep. \n\nApparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.\n\nWhat?\n\nI said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. \"Cleaned\" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ######","completion":" NTA  - would your MIL even WANT to clean your house? This seems extremely short-sighted on your husband's behalf. Even if you had the best MIL in the world, it's awkward to have someone you know clean your space with all of your personal items. What would happen if you didn't like the work she did? It's a recipe for disaster. ######"}
{"prompt":"So, that’s is a throwaway, the fact I’m gay has nothing to do with the story, English isn’t my native language, and I’m on my phone.\n\nLet’s get to the actual story; and introduce the characters. Salvi is my boyfriend, mom is my mother, dad is my father, Marie is my sister, I’m 20, as is Salvi.\n\nSo, as a child, my mother was hyper-conscious about my weight. It translates into me being on diets from the age of seven. As an early teenager, I struggled with an eating disorder, and the road to recovery has been a messy one. At the age of 18, I decided to move out with my boyfriend, and we lived in our own apartment. Note: my father wasn’t really okay with the diets, but he never opposes my mother, which has causes tensions.\n\nOkay, so my parents house is being sold, so they asked if they can stay at mine until they find a new place, and I agreed. That was two months ago.\n\nLike three days in, my mother started commenting about how I had gained weight, and that I should eat less, and it’s been making me feel worse, and worse, and I’m starting to enter old habits. I’ve tried to tell my mother that I am an adult, I can know what to eat, to no avail.\n\nLast night, after a certain remark, I snapped, and told my mother that she could either stop fucking remarking, or she could leave (and by extension my dad), and it escalated into a huge argument, and they both left to my sister’s.\n\nMy sister called me up to tell me that I was an asshole for how I handled the situation, and that I should apologise, and that my mother just shows love in weird ways.\n\nSalvi will support me either way, but he prefers they don’t come here.\n\nSo Reddit !! AITA for snapping at my mom? ######","completion":" NTA   What your mother has done to you has nothing to do with love. She has been abusing you since you were a child and your father, by being silent and not helping you, has been a part of her abuse. You have nothing to apologise for! The fact that you still tried to help them out says a lot about how nice of a person you are.\n\nIf your mother won't shut her mouth about your weight then I would seriously consider removing her permanently from my life if I were you. What she has done is so damaging, I know that from personal experience.\n\nAnd seriously, your mom shows love in weird ways?? I can't stand abuse apologists. If you were to tell your mother that she was too fat, looked old and wrinkly, would that be seen as you showing her love? No, I don't think so. It sounds like it's convenient for your family that you remain the scapegoat so that neither your father nor your sister has to deal with your mother's cruelness. ######"}