Sorry for posting this, but my e-mail keeps bouncing.  Maybe it will help others here, anyway, and therefore I pray others will read this.  It is actually a response from my Aunt, who has 5 kids, since I have none yet.  >Hi I am a Sociology student and I am currently researching into >young offenders.  I am looking at the way various groups of >children are raised at home.  At the moment I am formlulating >information on discipline within the Christian home. > >Please, if you are a parent in this catagory can you email me >your response to the following questionaire.  All responses >will be treated confidentially and will only be used to prepare >stats.      I'm posting this for a good Christian relative who does not have e-mail access.  Since this aunt and uncle have 5 kids I felt they would be more relevant than I, who have none (yet).  >1.  Ages & sexes of children      13-year-old (13YO) twins, 10YO boy, 6.5YO boy, 2YO girl  >2.  Do you spank your kids?      I don't call it spanking, but they do, so yes, very rarely.  >3.  If so how often?      I don't call it spanking because it's more of a reaction to something very dangerous, such as trying to stick their finger in a fan or running into the road.  Maybe 3-4 times for each except for the 2YO girl, who has not been spanked yet.      They call it that because it *does* hurt their feelings, and of course I give all the hugs and stuff to ensure they know they're still loved.  >4.  Do you use an implement to spank with?      No, that would be too painful.  If it's too traumatic they never recall why they were punished.  Besides, it must be immediate, and taking the time to go get a toolmeans you're not doing it right away, and that lessens the impact.  It's very emotional for a child as it is - which is evidenced by the fact that a little slap on the rear - which hurts for perhaps 5 seconds - is called a spanking. > >5. If you do not spank, what method of discipline do you use?      Lots of logical consequences - for instance, when 4YO Matthew dared a good friend to jump out of his treehouse or he would push him out, I made sure they didn't play together for 5 days so he'd know that would make him lose friends very quickly.  He's never done anything like that since.      We also use time-out in their rooms - I use a timer so they don't keep arguing with me over leaving, since it's hard to argue with a macine. I will go to the closed door and tell them timeout won't be over until they calm down if they're too tantrumy.  I use the top of the stairs when they're really young.  >6.  Your age?      40  >7.  Your location      Bath, Ohio.  It's right outside of Akron, in the northeast part of Ohio.  >8.  While under the age of 16 did you ever commit a criminal >offence?      No, and none of my kids would dream of it.  I hope you can use this to teach all parents that physical punishment isn't always required - parents use that as an excuse to hit too hard.  >9.  How ere you disciplined as a kid      Lots of timeouts, same as I use.  Our family and my husband's have never used spankings.  In fact, my grandmother in law was one of 11 kids, and they were almost never spanked.  This was around the turn of the century.  And, none of us has ever been afoul of the law - man-made or God's law.      Jesus says, referring to a small child whom he is holding, that "what ye do to the least of these, ye do also to me."  The Bible also says in all things to be kind, and merciful, and especially loving. (Colossians 3:12-15.) There is no room for selfish anger, which I'll admit I've been tempted with at times.  When I've felt like spanking hard in anger, maybe the kid deserved a little slap on the rear, but what I would have given would have been the devil's work.  I could feel the temptation, and just angrily ordered the kid to his/her room and went to my room myself.  After praying and asking God's forgiveness, I was much calmer, and did not feel like spanking, but felt that what I had done was enough punishment.