My news feed is broken and I haven't received any new news in 243 hours (more than 10 days).  So, if you reply to this, please send private email to the address esther@demand.ed.ray.com -- I have set the Reply-To line to have that address but I don't know if it will work.  [It depends upon the software, but generally I wouldn't expect reply-to to cause an email cc to be sent in addition to a posting. You'll probably need to do something specific, which will vary depending upon your news software.  --clh]  At any rate, I need some support.  (Much thanks to Jayne K who is already supporting me with kind words and prayers!)  I've been working at this company for eight years in various engineering jobs.  I'm female.  Yesterday I counted and realized that on seven different occasions I've been sexually harrassed at this company.  Seven times. Eight years. Yesterday was the most recent one; someone left an X-rated photo of a nude woman in my desk drawer.  I'm really upset by this.  I suppose it could have been worse -- it could have been a man having sex with a sheep or something.  There was no note.  I do not know if it was:  	- someone's idea of an innocent joke, that went awry 	- someone's sick idea of flirting 	- an act of emotional terrorism (that worked!)  I dreaded coming back to work today.  What if my boss comes in to ask me some kind of question, I don't know the answer so I take a military specification down off from my shelf to look up the answer, and out falls a picture of a man having sex with a sheep?  I generally have a Bible on my desk for occasional inspiration; what if I open it up to Corinthians and find a picture a la the North American Man Boy Love Association?  I want to throw up just thinking about this stuff.  I can lock up my desk, but I can't lock up every book I have in the office.  I can't trust that someone won't shove something into my briefcase or my coat pocket when I'm not looking so that I go home to find such a picture, or a threat, or a raunchy note about what someone wants to do to my body.  To make it worse, the entire department went out to lunch yesterday to treat our marvelous secretary to lunch.  The appointed hour for leaving was 11:30.  I was working in another building but wanted to go to the lunch.  So I returned at 11:25, only to find that ever single person had already left for lunch.  They left at 11:15 or so.  No one could be bothered to call me at the other building, even though my number was posted.  So, I came back to a department that looked like a neutron bomb had gone off and I was the sole survivor.  This, despite the fact that everyone knew how bad I felt about this naked woman being left in my desk drawer.  I need some prayers --- I can't stop crying. I am so deeply wounded that it's ridiculous.  I feel like I'm some kind of sub-human piece of garbage for people to reduce me and my sisters to simply sex organs and the sex act.  I feel like I'm a sub-human piece of garbage that's not worthy of a simple phone call saying "We're leaving for Mary's lunch a little early so that Bob can get back for a big 1:00 meeting..."  Please pray that my resentments will either go away, or be miraculously turned into something positive.  Please pray that whoever is torturing me so will stop, and find some healing for him- or herself. Please pray for my being healed from this latest wound (which falls on top of a whole slew of other wounds...).  Please pray that I can find a new job in a place where the corporate culture does its best to prevent such harrassment from happening in the first place, and swiftly acts appropriately when something occurs despite its best precautions. (This company, in my opinion, has pretty words about how sexual harrassment isn't tolerated but when you get right down to it, how is it that one female engineer can be touched inappropriately, left obsene or threatening notes, left obscene pictures, spoken to lewdly, etc, seven times in eight years in the same place?  Pretty words from the company do me no good when I'm terrified or healing from the latest assault.)  And please pray that I don't turn into an automaton because of this. That's my bad habit: "ignore it and it will go away", "you're not worth anyone's time so don't go talking to anyone about this", "you're right, you are a sub-human piece of garbage and deserve to be treated this way", "you are just an object", "you prostitute your mind to this company so why can't others expect you to prostitute your body there as well?", "what makes you think women aren't just possessions, and nothing more than sex organs and their ability to perform the sex act?" This is the kind of thinking that can catapault one into a major depressive episode; please pray that these thoughts don't come into my head and stay there, triggering depression.  Please pray that this latest trauma doesn't come between me and God. In a way, a wound like this is an invitation to a deeper connection to God, and it's also a possible trigger for a spiritual crisis that can separate one mentally from God.  (I know God doesn't drop me from his loving hand, but it's awfully easy for me to walk to the edge of the hand, look down, think I'm falling and forget that God's still holding on to me.)  Although this probably isn't entirely appropriate for this newsgroup, I really can use the kind of loving support you all provide.  For this reason I hope good Mr. Moderator allows me this latest indulgence.  After all, he's allowed me the thermometer note, and a few other off-the-wall topics.  Thanks in advance to everyone for your support and prayers.  Peace to you, Esther