utc dear even though i did not review the article myself i could offer you some pointers as to what to do my main concern is twofold given the article contains a lot of unnecessary information which in turn is referenced by primary or unreliable sources my first tip would be for you to focus on the things that make him notable such as his work with the bbc or his oceanic work strip it to the indispensable minimum there's also no need to list works or awards try sourcing information from reliable and independent sources that discuss him exclusively or in a substantial proportion of the text if you can't find such sourcing it'd be best if you didn't include that particular piece of biographical information his works partnerships or any associations should not be used as citations good sources would be similar to the people article for example i'm afraid my sort of copy edits would be quite drastic and disheartening for you so i look forward to seeing how you manage to improve the article yourself feel free to post any questions at the wikipedia wikiproject articles for creation help desk and resubmit the article for reviewal when pertinent make sure you edit the article at least once every couple of months so that it's not deleted regards contribs talk to me september