i am aware of wikipedia policy and don't need to reread it i broke policy knowingly i apologize for doing so it was for the sake of whimsy that impulse has left me and i make the promise that it will not return i do not retract anything that i said the bigger issue which i have been addressing is the flaw within the system itself after repeated requests to actually read what i'm saying here and what i actually said on the beat generation page you clearly have mistunderstood me your claim that you have ignored evidence in the prosecution of my punishment is one among many disturbing signs of the flaws within the wikipedia system what you call extraneous issues are indeed central issues you have done little to convince me otherwise for example the sockpuppetry was a bad idea when considering rules of civility and i won't let it happen again it was a good idea in that it was funny but like i said that's out of my system the bigger issue a central issue not extraneous is that admins claimed i was being dishonest this is evidence of laziness and lack of real concern for the real job you are meant to do if the real problem is that i was uncivil then i apologize and make an honest promise that i will never do it again i don't believe that really is a central issue i'm not blaming anyone else for me being uncivil i chose to do it and have never claimed otherwise the problem is wikipedia is a toilet why is it a toilet wikipedia is a punchline why is it a punchline because people who passionately care about truth get angry even if it was pretend on occassion no i realize uncivil behavior can be a contributing factor in that it can fail to lead to a positive change i was practically begging for a positive change on the beat generation page and nothing was happening certain other editors were relying on wikipedia rules to stymie progress block me or don't block me i don't care and judging from the history of this process and my history with tao i fear you'll scan this for trigger words see i don't care and say if you don't care why are you wasting my time totally missing the point of what i'm actually saying but please look in the mirror and think about the real problem here if you skip the first part where i genuinely apologize for the actual infraction and said i would never do it again just as i genuinely apologized for the infraction last time and said i would never do it again and i can keep saying this over and over again and if you once again just look at this part and claim i'm focusing on extraneous issues and incorrectly claim that i'm blaming others blaming others for my rant no please actually see my rant is my responsibility and once again i apologize for it whatever you do despite my lack of faith in anyone's ability to genuinely take some time and think about these things please just consider what's right and what's wrong here on a larger level while in the short term focusing on my genuine heart felt apology not short sorry but i do have a soul and genuinely care about truth