one of the things i'm trying to do is wean everyone away from making responses that just creates a huge quagmire you don't need to defend yourself or defend your position or defend your honor all you have to do is a make clear statements about what you think b cite references that supprot what you think as opposed to those that chop down what other people think and c listen carefully to what other people say if they say things that offend or insult you or that you think are just plain wrong no matter the personal stuff is not a reflection on you but on the relationship you have with this person the incorrect stuff can be dealt with in the process of citation never try to change people it will never work aim to change relationships ted