spite user dennis brown you accused me of spite on a public board for removing the article body content at veniamin sozin you accused of ownership as well but i already explained at ani how your interpretation of editsum was not correct why i removed body content at sozin is complex but it wasn't something as stupid and petty as spite it's a big sorrow to me to have to leave ortho chess article editing i have loved it i had no idea the hostile and ruthless culture at wp and the editors who revel in that environment to throw lies and smears and do bullying would ruin it for me but i should have known better the signs were early and my love of editing made me want to ignore them the deal is dennis i regret ever creating that article and there were only two others for the orthochess project i just regret it and that regret also somes with pain and sorrow but in the end i wish i never edited for that subproject i met some nice talented editors doing e g user tocatta quarta user cobblet whom i learned to understand better and appreciate but there were some bad apples and the environment allowed them to make hay with me that wasn't nice when defacto subproject leader quale defamed me consistently by complimenting my detractors and disparaging my good faith efforts out of prejudice well that's life in the big city it's political and nasty here and i'm not willing to suck up to it i'd rather leave so i did seeing the three articles i left behind i created that i can no longer expand made me sick i began to sincerely wish i never created them so i made mercy killings of them have you seen one flew over the kookoo's nest there's a mercy killing in that movie was it spite you apparently have no idea what complex emotion caused me to delete those contents so a quick dirty answer you accuse on a public board is that of spite why do you jump to suppose bad faith like that you should think about that in effect an accusation of spite is a dig of my character i've never toilet papered a house or lawntree in all my life or played a mean trick on anybody for fun why should i start now to accuse me of mere spite is to say i'm no better than a juvenile delinquent and you don't see the insult value and personal affront in that you are mr editor retention and yet you seem clueless what i as editor have gone through who has done a partial quit of wikipedia the quit of a subproject orthochess the emotional toil is real and genuine i know i cannot prove that only attempt to explain to you but please note how you jumped to bad faith explanation and affront and maybe why you would do that like i mentioned the emotions were complex take one of the other three articles for example paris defence some of the above was at play with the deletion of that artice's body content but there was something else too i had to fight tooth and nail to get that article to 'keep' status and a wp chess member also who is a deletionist kept pestering me about why the article couldn't be 'merged' the reasoning for 'delete' and 'merge' were all faulty and i painstakingly and patiently tried to reason and explain to little success but the article stayed only through my perseverance i guess i never demanded the article stay i don't think i even voted at the afd for it i simply made comments because even then i had disassociated myself as project member due to already giving up on the level of civility from one editor initials cpl who you favored at your talk against me when i went to your talk in good faith consel session and there was no counsel discussion just diaparaging criticisms of me and i withdrew that is when i never trusted you again your compatriot elen of roads of course came in to render supportive disparaging criticisms of me there and on her talk without end you see how friendship explains all on the wikipedia arguments are for losers it seems the reason i deleted body content of paris defence is because i worked so hard so very very hard for the good and consistency of wp chess articles then to keep it and prove it cpl was saying the opening didn't even exist that it was a joke of a rd move by black yet he was willing to tell everyone at any opportunity that he's a chess expert rating in repeated boasting i worked so very hard hard hard to keep that article i improved it during the afd and it was amazing to me because those imporovements didn't seem to matter no one said they did when they were in fact central and vital and the whole point so where does the sorrow come in after working so hard as i did for the reasons i did i was alone alone alone alone no support from the community of collaborative editors what a project is supposed to be all about silence when my arguments to keep were valid the