at twenty three years old alexander was confronting different conflicts in his life he was questioning his sexuality had an emptiness not filled by a partners love and his parents were having frequent arguments before and after their divorce one time he had a sexual experience with a yount italian who was doing his professional practice in panama his name was hefastio and he became the mold or prototype of love for alexander he then decided to depart from his country panama in search of hefastio or a love which he thought would fulfill the empty feeling in his heart he traveled throughout europe and eventually settled down in the united states the book continues describing the growth and maturity obtained by alexander when he realizes the mold he made to measure his search of love was too perfect