letter to jimbo wales chairman emeticus dear woolworths foundation board of trustees as you requested here are the faculty recommendations regarding the qualifications of the umbridge twins mike and sb dolores to assume the duties of headmaster here at woolworths school of political dramaturgy we were especially impressed by the recent production in which the impressionable young students of woolworths school of political dramaturgy were inducted into the long forgotten practice of employing parliamentary bill of attainder the symbolic allusions to the trial scene from alice in wonderland was an especially brilliant maneuver we are confident that with the umbridge twins in charge our students will quickly learn all the well known hoary practices from the rubbish heap of political history dating back to the forgotten realms of hammurabi and at the end of the term all the students are cordially invited to go jump in the lake signed humble members of your obedient faculty senate ottava rima chairman of the committee on crime and punishment darklama recoding secretary sxeptomaniac sargeant at harms killerchihuahua redactor of records