Mayer,	“Emotional	intelligence,”
Imagination,	Cognition,	and	Personality
	9	(1990),	pp.	185–
211.
13.
	Practical	intelligence	and	people	skills:	Robert	J.	Sternberg,
Beyond	I.Q
.	(New	York:
Cambridge	University	Press,	1985).
14.
	The	basic	definition	of	“emotional	intelligence”	is	in	Salovey	and	Mayer,	“Emotional
Intelligence,”	p.	189.	Another	early	model	of	emotional	intelligence	is	in	Reuven	Bar-On,


“The	Development	of	a	Concept	of	Psychological	Weil-Being,”	Ph.D.	dissertation,	Rhodes
University,	South	Africa,	1988.
15.
	IQ	vs.	emotional	intelligence:	Jack	Block,	University	of	California	at	Berkeley,	unpublished
manuscript,	February,	1995.	Block	uses	the	concept	“ego	resilience”	rather	than	emotional
intelligence,	but	notes	that	its	main	components	include	emotional	self-regulation,	an
adaptive	impulse	control,	a	sense	of	self-efficacy,	and	social	intelligence.	Since	these	are
main	elements	of	emotional	intelligence,	ego	resilience	can	be	seen	as	a	surrogate	measure
for	emotional	intelligence,	much	like	SAT	scores	are	for	IQ.	Block	analyzed	data	from	a
longitudinal	study	of	about	a	hundred	men	and	women	in	their	teen	years	and	early
twenties,	and	used	statistical	methods	to	assess	the	personality	and	behavioral	correlates
of	high	IQ	independent	of	emotional	intelligence,	and	emotional	intelligence	apart	from
IQ.	There	is,	he	finds,	a	modest	correlation	between	IQ	and	ego	resilience,	but	the	two	are
independent	constructs.
Chapter	4.	Know	Thyself
			1.
	My	usage	of
self-awareness
	refers	to	a	self-reflexive,	introspective	attention	to	one’s	own
experience,	sometimes	called
mindfulness
.
			2.


experience,	sometimes	called
mindfulness
.
			2.
	See	also:	Jon	Kabat-Zinn.	Wh
erever	You	Go,	There	You	Are
	(New	York:	Hyperion,	1994).
			3.
	The	observing	ego:	An	insightful	comparison	of	the	psychoanalyst’s	attentional	stance	and
self-awareness	appears	in	Mark	Epstein’s
Thoughts	Without	a	Thinker
	(New	York:	Basic
Books,	1995).	Epstein	notes	that	if	this	ability	is	cultivated	deeply,	it	can	drop	the	self-
consciousness	of	the	observer	and	become	a	“more	flexible	and	braver	‘developed	ego,’
capable	of	embracing	all	of	life.”
			4.
	William	Styron,
Darkness	Visible:	A	Memoir	of	Madness
	(New	York:	Random	House,	1990),
p.	64.
			5.

John	D.	Mayer	and	Alexander	Stevens,	“An	Emerging	Understanding	of	the	Reflective
(Meta)	Experience	of	Mood,”	unpublished	manuscript	(1993).
			6.
	Mayer	and	Stevens,	“An	Emerging	Understanding.”	Some	of	the	terms	for	these	emotional
self-awareness	styles	are	my	own	adaptations	of	their	categories.
			7.
	The	intensity	of	emotions:	Much	of	this	work	was	done	by	or	with	Randy	Larsen,	a	former


graduate	student	of	Diener’s	now	at	the	University	of	Michigan.
			8.
	Gary,	the	emotionally	bland	surgeon,	is	described	in	Hillel	I.	Swiller,	“Alexithymia:
Treatment	Utilizing	Combined	Individual	and	Group	Psychotherapy,”
International	Journal
for	Group	Psychotherapy
	38,	1	(1988),	pp.	47–61.
			9.

Emotional	illiterate
	was	the	term	used	by	M.	B.	Freedman	and	B.	S.	Sweet,	“Some	Specific
Features	of	Group	Psychotherapy,”
International	Journal	for	Group	Psychotherapy
	4	(1954),
pp.	335–68.


10.
	The	clinical	features	of	alexithymia	are	described	in	Graeme	J.	Taylor,	“Alexithymia:
History	of	the	Concept,”	paper	presented	at	the	annual	meeting	of	the	American
Psychiatric	Association	in	Washington,	DC	(May	1986).
11.
	The	description	of	alexithymia	is	from	Peter	Sifneos,	“Affect,	Emotional	Conflict,	and
Deficit:	An	Overview,”
Psychotherapy-and-Psychosomatics
	56	(1991),	pp.	116–22.
12.
	The	woman	who	did	not	know	why	she	was	crying	is	reported	in	H.	Warnes,	“Alexithymia,
Clinical	and	Therapeutic	Aspects,”
Psychotherapy-and-Psychosomatics
	46	(1986),	pp.	96–
104.
13.
	Role	of	emotions	in	reasoning:	Damasio,
Descartes’	Error
.
14.
	Unconscious	fear:	The	snake	studies	are	described	in	Kagan,
Galen’s	Prophecy
.
Chapter	5.	Passion’s	Slaves
			1.
	For	details	on	the	ratio	of	positive	to	negative	feelings	and	well-being,	see	Ed	Diener	and
Randy	J.	Larsen,	“The	Experience	of	Emotional	Well-Being,”	in	Michael	Lewis	and
Jeannette	Haviland,	eds.,
Handbook	of	Emotions
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
			2.


2.
	I	interviewed	Diane	Tice	about	her	research	on	how	well	people	shake	off	bad	moods	in
December	1992.	She	published	her	findings	on	anger	in	a	chapter	she	wrote	with	her
husband,	Roy	Baumeister,	in	Daniel	Wegner	and	James	Pennebaker,	eds.,
Handbook	of
Mental	Controls:	5
	(Englewood	Cliffs,	NJ:	Prentice-Hall,	1993).
			3.
	Bill	collectors:	also	described	in	Arlie	Hochschild,
The	Managed	Heart
	(New	York:	Free
Press,	1980).
			4.
	The	case	against	anger,	and	for	self-control,	is	based	largely	on	Diane	Tice	and	Roy	F.
Baumeister,	“Controlling	Anger:	Self-Induced	Emotion	Change,”	in	Wegner	and
Pennebaker,
Handbook	of	Mental	Control
.	But	see	also	Carol	Tavris,
Anger:	The
Misunderstood	Emotion
	(New	York:	Touchstone,	1989).
			5.
	The	research	on	rage	is	described	in	Dolf	Zillmann,	“Mental	Control	of	Angry	Aggression,”
in	Wegner	and	Pennebaker,
Handbook	of	Mental	Control
.
			6.
	The	soothing	walk:	quoted	in	Tavris,
Anger:	The	Misunderstood	Emotion
,	p.	135.
			7.


,	p.	135.
			7.
	Redford	Williams’s	strategies	for	controlling	hostility	are	detailed	in	Redford	Williams	and
Virginia	Williams,
Anger	Kills
	(New	York:	Times	Books,	1993).
			8.
	Venting	anger	does	not	dispel	it:	see,	for	example,	S.	K.	Mallick	and	B.	R.	McCandless,	“A
Study	of	Catharsis	Aggression,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology

4	(1966).	For	a
summary	of	this	research,	see	Tavris,
Anger:	The	Misunderstood	Emotion
.
			9.
	When	lashing	out	in	anger	is	effective:	Tavris,
Anger:	The	Misunderstood	Emotion
.
10.
	The	work	of	worrying:	Lizabeth	Roemer	and	Thomas	Borkovec,	“Worry:	Unwanted
Cognitive	Activity	That	Controls	Unwanted	Somatic	Experience,”	in	Wegner	and
Pennebaker,
Handbook	of	Mental	Control
.


11.
	Fear	of	germs:	David	Riggs	and	Edna	Foa,	“Obsessive-Compulsive	Disorder,”	in	David
Barlow,	ed.,
Clinical	Handbook	of	Psychological	Disorders
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
12.
	The	worried	patient	was	quoted	in	Roemer	and	Borkovec,	“Worry,”	p.	221.
13.
	Therapies	for	anxiety	disorder:	see,	for	example,	David	H.	Barlow,	ed.,
Clinical	Handbook	of
Psychological	Disorders
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
14.
	Styron’s	depression:	William	Styron,
Darkness	Visible:	A	Memoir	of	Madness
	(New	York:
Random	House,	1990).
15.
	The	worries	of	the	depressed	are	reported	in	Susan	Nolen-Hoeksma,	“Sex	Differences	in
Control	of	Depression,”	in	Wegner	and	Pennebaker,
Handbook	of	Mental	Control
,	p.	307.
16.
	Therapy	for	depression:	K.	S.	Dobson,	“A	Meta-analysis	of	the	Efficacy	of	Cognitive
Therapy	for	Depression,”
Journal	of	Consulting	and	Clinical	Psychology
	57	(1989).
17.
	The	study	of	depressed	people’s	thought	patterns	is	reported	in	Richard	Wenzlaff,	“The


Mental	Control	of	Depression,”	in	Wegner	and	Pennebaker,
Handbook	of	Mental	Control
.
18.
	Shelley	Taylor	et	al,	“Maintaining	Positive	Illusions	in	the	Face	of	Negative	Information,”
Journal	of	Clinical	and	Social	Psychology
	8	(1989).
19.
	The	repressing	college	student	is	from	Daniel	A.	Weinberger,	“The	Construct	Validity	of
the	Repressive	Coping	Style,”	in	J.	L.	Singer,	ed.,
Repression	and	Dissociation
	(Chicago:
University	of	Chicago	Press,	1990).	Weinberger,	who	developed	the	concept	of	repressors
in	early	studies	with	Gary	F.	Schwartz	and	Richard	Davidson,	has	become	the	leading
researcher	on	the	topic.
Chapter	6.	The	Master	Aptitude
			1.
	The	terror	of	the	exam:	Daniel	Goleman,
Vital	Lies,	Simple	Truths:	The	Psychology	of	Self-
Deception
	(New	York:	Simon	and	Schuster,	1985).
			2.
	Working	memory:	Alan	Baddeley,
Working	Memory	(Oxford:
	Clarendon	Press,	1986).
			3.
	Prefrontal	cortex	and	working	memory:	Patricia	Goldman-Rakic,	“Cellular	and	Circuit
Basis	of	Working	Memory	in	Prefrontal	Cortex	of	Nonhuman	Primates,”
Progress	in	Brain
Research


Progress	in	Brain
Research
,	85,	1990;	Daniel	Weinberger,	“A	Connectionist	Approach	to	the	Prefrontal
Cortex,”
Journal	of	Neuropsychiatry
	5	(1993).
			4.
	Motivation	and	elite	performance:	Anders	Ericsson,	“Expert	Performance:	Its	Structure
and	Acquisition,”
American	Psychologist
	(Aug.	1994).
			5.
	Asian	IQ	advantage:	Herrnstein	and	Murray,
The	Bell	Curve
.
			6.
	IQ	and	occupation	of	Asian-Americans:	James	Flynn,
Asian-American	Achievement	Beyond
IQ
	(New	Jersey:	Lawrence	Erlbaum,	1991).
			7.

The	study	of	delay	of	gratification	in	four-year-olds	was	reported	in	Yuichi	Shoda,	Walter
Mischel,	and	Philip	K.	Peake,	“Predicting	Adolescent	Cognitive	and	Self-regulatory
Competencies	From	Preschool	Delay	of	Gratification,”
Developmental	Psychology
,	26,	6


(1990),	pp.	978–86.
			8.
	SAT	scores	of	impulsive	and	self-controlled	children:	The	analysis	of	SAT	data	was	done
by	Phil	Peake,	a	psychologist	at	Smith	College.
			9.
	IQ	vs.	delay	as	predictors	of	SAT	scores:	personal	communication	from	Phil	Peake,
psychologist	at	Smith	College,	who	analyzed	the	SAT	data	in	Walter	Mischel’s	study	of
delay	of	gratification.
10.
	Impulsivity	and	delinquency:	See	the	discussion	in:	Jack	Block,	“On	the	Relation	Between
IQ,	Impulsivity,	and	Delinquency,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	104	(1995).
11.
	The	worried	mother:	Timothy	A.	Brown	et	al.,	“Generalized	Anxiety	Disorder,”	in	David	H.
Barlow,	ed.,
Clinical	Handbook	of	Psychological	Disorders
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
12.
	Air	traffic	controllers	and	anxiety:	W.	E.	Collins	et	al.,	“Relationships	of	Anxiety	Scores	to
Academy	and	Field	Training	Performance	of	Air	Traffic	Control	Specialists,”
FAA	Office	of
Aviation	Medicine	Reports
	(May	1989).
13.
	Anxiety	and	academic	performance:	Bettina	Seipp,	“Anxiety	and	Academic	Performance:	A
Meta-analysis,”
Anxiety	Research


Meta-analysis,”
Anxiety	Research
	4,	1	(1991).
14.
	Worriers:	Richard	Metzger	et	al.,	“Worry	Changes	Decision-making:	The	Effects	of
Negative	Thoughts	on	Cognitive	Processing,”
Journal	of	Clinical	Psychology
	(Jan.	1990).
15.
	Ralph	Haber	and	Richard	Alpert,	“Test	Anxiety,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	and	Social	Psychology
13	(1958).
16.
	Anxious	students:	Theodore	Chapin,	“The	Relationship	of	Trait	Anxiety	and	Academic
Performance	to	Achievement	Anxiety,”
Journal	of	College	Student	Development
	(May	1989).
17.
	Negative	thoughts	and	test	scores:	John	Hunsley,	“Internal	Dialogue	During	Academic
Examinations,”
Cognitive	Therapy	and	Research
	(Dec.	1987).
18.
	The	internists	given	a	gift	of	candy:	Alice	Isen	et	al.,	“The	Influence	of	Positive	Affect	on
Clinical	Problem	Solving,”
Medical	Decision	Making
	(July-Sept.	1991).
19.
	Hope	and	a	bad	grade:	C.	R.	Snyder	et	al.,	“The	Will	and	the	Ways:	Development	and
Validation	of	an	Individual-Differences	Measure	of	Hope,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social
Psychology
	60,	4	(1991),	p.	579.
20.
	I	interviewed	C.	R.	Snyder	in


20.
	I	interviewed	C.	R.	Snyder	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Dec.	24,	1991).
21.
	Optimistic	swimmers:	Martin	Seligman,
Learned	Optimism
	(New	York:	Knopf,	1991).
22.
	A	realistic	vs.	naive	optimism:	see,	for	example,	Carol	Whalen	et	al.,	“Optimism	in
Children’s	Judgments	of	Health	and	Environmental	Risks,”
Health	Psychology
	13	(1994).
23.
	I	interviewed	Martin	Seligman	about	optimism	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Feb.	3,	1987).
24.
	I	interviewed	Albert	Bandura	about	self-efficacy	in
The	New	York	Times
	(May	8,	1988).
25.
	Mihaly	Csikszentmihalyi,	“Play	and	Intrinsic	Rewards,”
Journal	of	Humanistic	Psychology
15,	3	(1975).


26.

Mihaly	Csikszentmihalyi,
Flow:	The	Psychology	of	Optimal	Experience
,	1st	ed.	(New	York:
Harper	and	Row,	1990).
27.
	“Like	a	waterfall”:
Newsweek
	(Feb.	28,	1994).
28.
	I	interviewed	Dr.	Csikszentmihalyi	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Mar.	4,	1986).
29.
	The	brain	in	flow:	Jean	Hamilton	et	al.,	“Intrinsic	Enjoyment	and	Boredom	Coping	Scales:
Validation	With	Personality,	Evoked	Potential	and	Attention	Measures,”
Personality	and
Individual	Differences
	5,	2	(1984).
30.
	Cortical	activation	and	fatigue:	Ernest	Hartmann,
The	Functions	of	Sleep
	(New	Haven:	Yale
University	Press,	1973).
31.
	I	interviewed	Dr.	Csikszentmihalyi	in
The	New	York
	Times	(Mar.	22,	1992).
32.
	The	study	of	flow	and	math	students:	Jeanne	Nakamura,	“Optimal	Experience	and	the
Uses	of	Talent,”	in	Mihaly	Csikszentmihalyi	and	Isabella	Csikszentmihalyi,
Optimal
Experience:	Psychological	Studies	of	Flow	in	Consciousness
	(Cambridge:	Cambridge	University
Press,	1988).


(Cambridge:	Cambridge	University
Press,	1988).
Chapter	7.	The	Roots	of	Empathy
			1.
	Self-awareness	and	empathy:	see,	for	example,	John	Mayer	and	Melissa	Kirkpatrick,	“Hot
Information-Processing	Becomes	More	Accurate	With	Open	Emotional	Experience,”
University	of	New	Hampshire,	unpublished	manuscript	(Oct.	1994);	Randy	Larsen	et	al.,
“Cognitive	Operations	Associated	With	Individual	Differences	in	Affect	Intensity,”
Journal
of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	53	(1987).
			2.
	Robert	Rosenthal	et	al.,	“The	PONS	Test:	Measuring	Sensitivity	to	Nonverbal	Cues,”	in	P.
McReynolds,	ed.,
Advances	in	Psychological	Assessment
	(San	Francisco:	Jossey-Bass,	1977).
			3.
	Stephen	Nowicki	and	Marshall	Duke,	“A	Measure	of	Nonverbal	Social	Processing	Ability
in	Children	Between	the	Ages	of	6	and	10,”	paper	presented	at	the	American	Psychological
Society	meeting	(1989).
			4.
	The	mothers	who	acted	as	researchers	were	trained	by	Marian	Radke-Yarrow	and	Carolyn
Zahn-Waxler	at	the	Laboratory	of	Developmental	Psychology,	National	Institute	of	Mental
Health.
			5.


Health.
			5.
	I	wrote	about	empathy,	its	developmental	roots,	and	its	neurology	in
The	New	York	Times
(Mar
.	28,	1989).
			6.
	Instilling	empathy	in	children:	Marian	Radke-Yarrow	and	Carolyn	Zahn-Waxler,	“Roots,
Motives	and	Patterns	in	Children’s	Prosocial	Behavior,”	in	Ervin	Staub	et	al.,	eds.,
Development	and	Maintenance	of	Prosocial	Behavior
	(New	York:	Plenum,	1984).
			7.
	Daniel	Stern,
The	Interpersonal	World	of	the	Infant	(New
	York:	Basic	Books,	1987),	p.	30.
			8.
	Stern,	op.	cit.
			9.
	The	depressed	infants	are	described	in	Jeffrey	Pickens	and	Tiffany	Field,	“Facial


Expressivity	in	Infants	of	Depressed	Mothers,”
Developmental	Psychology
	29,	6	(1993).
10.

The	study	of	violent	rapists’	childhoods	was	done	by	Robert	Prentky,	a	psychologist	in
Philadelphia.
11.
	Empathy	in	borderline	patients:	Lee	C.	Park	et	al.,	“Giftedness	and	Psychological	Abuse	in
Borderline	Personality	Disorder:	Their	Relevance	to	Genesis	and	Treatment,”
Journal	of
Personality	Disorders
	6	(1992).
12.
	Leslie	Brothers,	“A	Biological	Perspective	on	Empathy,”
American	Journal	of	Psychiatry
	146,
1	(1989).
13.
	Brothers,	“A	Biological	Perspective,”	p.	16.
14.
	Physiology	of	empathy:	Robert	Levenson	and	Anna	Ruef,	“Empathy:	A	Physiological
Substrate,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	63,	2	(1992).
15.
	Martin	L.	Hoffman,	“Empathy,	Social	Cognition,	and	Moral	Action,”	in	W.	Kurtines	and	J.
Gerwitz,	eds.,
Moral	Behavior	and	Development:	Advances	in	Theory,	Research,	and
Applications
	(New	York:	John	Wiley	and	Sons,	1984).
16.
	Studies	of	the	link	between	empathy	and	ethics	are	in	Hoffman,	“Empathy,	Social


Cognition,	and	Moral	Action.”
17.
	I	wrote	about	the	emotional	cycle	that	culminates	in	sex	crimes	in
The	New	York	Times
(Apr.	14,	1992).	The	source	is	William	Pithers,	a	psychologist	with	the	Vermont
Department	of	Corrections.
18.
	The	nature	of	psychopathy	is	described	in	more	detail	in	an	article	I	wrote	in
The	New
York
	Times	on	July	7,	1987.	Much	of	what	I	write	here	comes	from	the	work	of	Robert
Hare,	a	psychologist	at	the	University	of	British	Columbia,	an	expert	on	psychopaths.
19.
	Leon	Bing,
Do	or	Die
	(New	York:	HarperCollins,	1991).
20.
	Wife	batterers:	Neil	S.	Jacobson	et	al.,	“Affect,	Verbal	Content,	and	Psychophysiology	in
the	Arguments	of	Couples	With	a	Violent	Husband,”
Journal	of	Clinical	and	Consulting
Psychology
	(July	1994).
21.
	Psychopaths	have	no	fear—the	effect	is	seen	as	criminal	psychopaths	are	about	to	receive
a	shock:	One	of	the	more	recent	replications	of	the	effect	is	Christopher	Patrick	et	al.,
“Emotion	in	the	Criminal	Psychopath:	Fear	Image	Processing,”
Journal	of	Abnormal
Psychology
	103	(1994).
Chapter	8.	The	Social	Arts
			1.


Chapter	8.	The	Social	Arts
			1.
	The	exchange	between	Jay	and	Len	was	reported	by	Judy	Dunn	and	Jane	Brown	in
“Relationships,	Talk	About	Feelings,	and	the	Development	of	Affect	Regulation	in	Early
Childhood,”	Judy	Garber	and	Kenneth	A.	Dodge,	eds.,
The	Development	of	Emotion
Regulation	and	Dysregulation
	(Cambridge:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1991).	The	dramatic
flourishes	are	my	own.


2.
	The	display	rules	are	in	Paul	Ekman	and	Wallace	Friesen,
Unmasking	the	Face
	(Englewood
Cliffs,	NJ:	Prentice	Hall,	1975).
			3.
	Monks	in	the	heat	of	battle:	the	story	is	told	by	David	Busch	in	“Culture	Cul-de-Sac,”
Arizona	State	University	Research
	(Spring/Summer	1994).
			4.
	The	study	of	mood	transfer	was	reported	by	Ellen	Sullins	in	the	April	1991	issue	of	the
Personality	and	Social	Psychology	Bulletin
.
			5.
	The	studies	of	mood	transmission	and	synchrony	are	by	Frank	Bernieri,	a	psychologist	at
Oregon	State	University;	I	wrote	about	his	work	in
The	New	York	Times
.	Much
of	his
research	is	reported	in	Bernieri	and	Robert	Rosenthal,	“Interpersonal	Coordination,
Behavior	Matching,	and	Interpersonal	Synchrony,”	in	Robert	Feldman	and	Bernard	Rime,
eds.,
Fundamentals	of	Nonverbal	Behavior
	(Cambridge:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1991).
			6.
	The	entrainment	theory	is	proposed	by	Bernieri	and	Rosenthal,
Fundamentals	of	Nonverbal
Behavior
.
			7.
	Thomas	Hatch,	“Social	Intelligence	in	Young	Children,”	paper	delivered	at	the	annual
meeting	of	the	American	Psychological	Association	(1990).


meeting	of	the	American	Psychological	Association	(1990).
			8.
	Social	chameleons:	Mark	Snyder,	“Impression	Management:	The	Self	in	Social
Interaction,”	in	L.	S.	Wrightsman	and	K.	Deaux,
Social	Psychology	in	the	’80s
	(Monterey,
CA:	Brooks/Cole,	1981).
			9.
	E.	Lakin	Phillips,
The	Social	Skills	Basis	of	Psychopathology
	(New	York:	Grune	and	Stratton,
1978),	p.	140.
10.
	Nonverbal	learning	disorders:	Stephen	Nowicki	and	Marshall	Duke,
Helping	the	Child	Who
Doesn’t	Fit	In
	(Atlanta:	Peachtree	Publishers,	1992).	See	also	Byron	Rourke,
Nonverbal
Learning	Disabilities
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1989).
11.
	Nowicki	and	Duke,
Helping	the	Child	Who	Doesn’t	Fit	In
.
12.
	This	vignette,	and	the	review	of	research	on	entering	a	group,	is	from	Martha	Putallaz	and
Aviva	Wasserman,	“Children’s	Entry	Behavior,”	in	Steven	Asher	and	John	Coie,	eds.,
Peer
Rejection	in	Childhood
	(New	York:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1990).
13.
	Putallaz	and	Wasserman,	“Children’s	Entry	Behavior.”
14.


14.
	Hatch,	“Social	Intelligence	in	Young	Children.”
15.	Terry	Dobson’s	tale	of	the	Japanese	drunk	and	the	old	man	is	used	by	permission	of
Dobson’s	estate.	It	is	also	retold	by	Ram	Dass	and	Paul	Gorman,
How	Can	I	Help?
	(New
York:	Alfred	A.	Knopf,	1985),	pp.	167–71.


PART	THREE:	EMOTIONAL	INTELLIGENCE	APPLIED
Chapter	9.	Intimate	Enemies
			1.
	There	are	many	ways	to	calculate	the	divorce	rate,	and	the	statistical	means	used	will
determine	the	outcome.	Some	methods	show	the	divorce	rate	peaking	at	around	50
percent	and	then	dipping	a	bit.	When	divorces	are	calculated	by	the	total	number	in	a
given	year,	the	rate	appears	to	have	peaked	in	the	1980s.	But	the	statistics	I	cite	here
calculate	not	the	number	of	divorces	that	occur	in	a	given	year,	but	rather	the	odds	that	a
couple	marrying	in	a	given	year	will	eventually	have	their	marriage	end	in	divorce.	That
statistic	shows	a	climbing	rate	of	divorce	over	the	last	century.	For	more	detail:	John
Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce:	The	Relationship	Between	Marital	Processes	and	Marital
Outcomes
	(Hillsdale,	NJ:	Lawrence	Erlbaum	Associates,	Inc.,	1993).
			2.
	The	separate	worlds	of	boys	and	girls:	Eleanor	Maccoby	and	C.	N.	Jacklin,	“Gender
Segregation	in	Childhood,”	in	H.	Reese,	ed.,
Advances	in	Child	Development	and	Behavior
(New
	York:	Academic	Press,	1987).
			3.


York:	Academic	Press,	1987).
			3.
	Same-sex	playmates:	John	Gottman,	“Same	and	Cross	Sex	Friendship	in	Young	Children,”
in	J.	Gottman	and	J.	Parker,	eds.,
Conversation	of	Friends
	(New	York:	Cambridge	University
Press,	1986).
			4.

This	and	the	following	summary	of	sex	differences	in	socialization	of	emotions	are	based
on	the	excellent	review	in	Leslie	R.	Brody	and	Judith	A.	Hall,	“Gender	and	Emotion,”	in
Michael	Lewis	and	Jeannette	Haviland,	eds.,
Handbook	of	Emotions
	(New	York:	Guilford
Press,	1993).
			5.
	Brody	and	Hall,	“Gender	and	Emotion,”	p.	456.
			6.
	Girls	and	the	arts	of	aggression:	Robert	B.	Cairns	and	Beverley	D.	Cairns,
Lifelines	and
Risks
	(New	York:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1994).
			7.
	Brody	and	Hall,	“Gender	and	Emotion,”	p.	454.
			8.
	The	findings	about	gender	differences	in	emotion	are	reviewed	in	Brody	and	Hall,
“Gender	and	Emotion.”
			9.
	The	importance	of	good	communication	for	women	was	reported	in	Mark	H.	Davis	and	H.


Alan	Oathout,	“Maintenance	of	Satisfaction	in	Romantic	Relationships:	Empathy	and
Relational	Competence,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	53,	2	(1987),	pp.
397–410.
10.
	The	study	of	husbands’	and	wives’	complaints:	Robert	J.	Sternberg,	“Triangulating	Love,”
in	Robert	Sternberg	and	Michael	Barnes,	eds.,
The	Psychology	of	Love
	(New	Haven:	Yale
University	Press,	1988).
11.
	Reading	sad	faces:	The	research	is	by	Dr.	Ruben	C.	Gur	at	the	University	of	Pennsylvania


School	of	Medicine.
12.
	The	exchange	between	Fred	and	Ingrid	is	from	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
,	p.	84.
13.
	The	marital	research	by	John	Gottman	and	colleagues	at	the	University	of	Washington	is
described	in	more	detail	in	two	books:	John	Gottman,
Why	Marriages	Succeed	or	Fail
	(New
York:	Simon	and	Schuster,	1994),	and
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
14.
	Stonewalling:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
15.
	Poisonous	thoughts:	Aaron	Beck,
Love	Is	Never	Enough
	(New	York:	Harper	and	Row,	1988),
pp.	145–46.
16.
	Thoughts	in	troubled	marriages:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
17.
	The	distorted	thinking	of	violent	husbands	is	described	in	Amy	Holtzworth-Munroe	and
Glenn	Hutchinson,	“Attributing	Negative	Intent	to	Wife	Behavior:	The	Attributions	of
Maritally	Violent	Versus	Nonviolent	Men,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	102,	2	(1993),
pp.	206–11.	The	suspiciousness	of	sexually	aggressive	men:	Neil	Malamuth	and	Lisa
Brown,	“Sexually	Aggressive	Men’s	Perceptions	of	Women’s	Communications,”
Journal	of
Personality	and	Social	Psychology


Journal	of
Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	67	(1994).
18.
	Battering	husbands:	There	are	three	kinds	of	husbands	who	become	violent:	those	who
rarely	do,	those	who	do	so	impulsively	when	they	get	angered,	and	those	who	do	so	in	a
cool,	calculated	manner.	Therapy	seems	helpful	only	with	the	first	two	kinds.	See	Neil
Jacobson	et	al.,
Clinical	Handbook	of	Marital	Therapy
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1994).
19.
	Flooding:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
20.
	Husbands	dislike	squabbles:	Robert	Levenson	et	al.,	“The	Influence	of	Age	and	Gender	on
Affect,	Physiology,	and	Their	Interrelations:	A	Study	of	Long-term	Marriages,”
Journal	of
Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	67	(1994).
21.
	Flooding	in	husbands:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
22.
	Men	stonewall,	women	criticize:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
23.

“Wife	Charged	with	Shooting	Husband	Over	Football	on	TV,”
The	New	York	Times
	(Nov.	3,
1993).
24.
	Productive	marital	fights:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
25.


What	Predicts	Divorce
.
25.
	Lack	of	repair	abilities	in	couples:	Gottman,
What	Predicts	Divorce
.
26.
	The	four	steps	that	lead	to	“good	fights”	are	from	Gottman,
Why	Marriages	Succeed	or	Fail
.
27.
	Monitoring	pulse	rate:	Gottman,	Ibid.
28.
	Catching	automatic	thoughts:	Beck,
Love	Is	Never	Enough
.
29.
	Mirroring:	Harville	Hendrix,
Getting	the	Love	You	Want
	(New	York:	Henry	Holt,	1988).
Chapter	10.	Managing	With	Heart
			1.
	The	crash	of	the	intimidating	pilot:	Carl	Lavin,	“When	Moods	Affect	Safety:


Communications	in	a	Cockpit	Mean	a	Lot	a	Few	Miles	Up,”
The	New	York	Times
	(June	26,
1994).
			2.
	The	survey	of	250	executives:	Michael	Maccoby,	“The	Corporate	Climber	Has	to	Find	His
Heart,”
Fortune
	(Dec.	1976).
			3.
	Zuboff:	in	conversation,	June	1994.	For	the	impact	of	information	technologies,	see	her
book
In	the	Age	of	the	Smart	Machine	(New
	York:	Basic	Books,	1991).
			4.
	The	story	of	the	sarcastic	vice	president	was	told	to	me	by	Hendrie	Weisinger,	a
psychologist	at	the	UCLA	Graduate	School	of	Business.	His	book	is
The	Critical	Edge:	How
to	Criticize	Up	and	Down	the	Organization	and	Make	It	Pay	Off
(Boston:	Little,	Brown,	1989).
			5.
	The	survey	of	times	managers	blew	up	was	done	by	Robert	Baron,	a	psychologist	at
Rensselaer	Polytechnic	Institute,	whom	I	interviewed	for
The	New	York	Times
	(Sept.	11,
1990).
			6.
	Criticism	as	a	cause	of	conflict:	Robert	Baron,	“Countering	the	Effects	of	Destructive
Criticism:	The	Relative	Efficacy	of	Four	Interventions,”
Journal	of	Applied	Psychology


Journal	of	Applied	Psychology
	75,	3
(1990).
			7.
	Specific	and	vague	criticism:	Harry	Levinson,	“Feedback	to	Subordinates”
Addendum	to	the
Levinson	Letter
,	Levinson	Institute,	Waltham,	MA	(1992).
			8.
	Changing	face	of	workforce:	A	survey	of	645	national	companies	by	Towers	Perrin
management	consultants	in	Manhattan,	reported	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Aug.	26,	1990).
			9.
	The	roots	of	hatred:	Vamik	Volkan,
The	Need	to	Have	Enemies	and	Allies
	(Northvale,	NJ:
Jason	Aronson,	1988).
10.
	Thomas	Pettigrew:	I	interviewed	Pettigrew	in
The	New	York	Times
	(May	12,	1987).
11.
	Stereotypes	and	subtle	bias:	Samuel	Gaertner	and	John	Davidio,
Prejudice,	Discrimination,
and	Racism
	(New	York:	Academic	Press,	1987).
12.
	Subtle	bias:	Gaertner	and	Davidio,
Prejudice,	Discrimination,	and	Racism
.
13.
	Relman:	quoted	in	Howard	Kohn,	“Service	With	a	Sneer,”
The	New	York	Times	Sunday
Magazine
	(Nov.	11,	1994).
14.


Magazine
	(Nov.	11,	1994).
14.

IBM:	“Responding	to	a	Diverse	Work	Force,”
The	New	York	Times
	(Aug.	26,	1990).
15.
	Power	of	speaking	out:	Fletcher	Blanchard,	“Reducing	the	Expression	of	Racial	Prejudice,”
Psychological	Science
	(vol.	2,	1991).
16.
	Stereotypes	break	down:	Gaertner	and	Davidio,
Prejudice,	Discrimination,	and	Racism
.
17.
	Teams:	Peter	Drucker,	“The	Age	of	Social	Transformation,”
The	Atlantic	Monthly
	(Nov.
1994).
18.
	The	concept	of	group	intelligence	is	set	forth	in	Wendy	Williams	and	Robert	Sternberg,
“Group	Intelligence:	Why	Some	Groups	Are	Better	Than	Others,”
Intelligence
	(1988).
19.
	The	study	of	the	stars	at	Bell	Labs	was	reported	in	Robert	Kelley	and	Janet	Caplan,	“How
Bell	Labs	Creates	Star	Performers,”
Harvard	Business	Review
	(July-Aug.	1993).


20.
	The	usefulness	of	informal	networks	is	noted	by	David	Krackhardt	and	Jeffrey	R.	Hanson,
“Informal	Networks:	The	Company	Behind	the	Chart,”
Harvard	Business	Review
	(July-Aug.
1993),	p.	104.
Chapter	11.	Mind	and	Medicine
			1.
	Immune	system	as	the	body’s	brain:	Francisco	Varela	at	the	Third	Mind	and	Life	meeting,
Dharamsala,	India	(Dec.	1990).
			2.
	Chemical	messengers	between	brain	and	immune	system:	see	Robert	Ader	et	al.,
Psychoneuroimmunology
,	2nd	edition	(San	Diego:	Academic	Press,	1990).
			3.
	Contact	between	nerves	and	immune	cells:	David	Felten	et	al.,	“Noradrenergic
Sympathetic	Innervation	of	Lymphoid	Tissue,”
Journal	of	Immunology
	135	(1985).
			4.
	Hormones	and	immune	function:	B.	S.	Rabin	et	al.,	“Bidirectional	Interaction	Between	the
Central	Nervous	System	and	the	Immune	System,”
Critical	Reviews	in	Immunology
	9	(4),
(1989),	pp.	279–312.
			5.
	Connections	between	brain	and	immune	system:	see,	for	example,	Steven	B.	Maier	et	al.,
“Psychoneuroimmunology,”
American	Psychologist
	(Dec.	1994).


American	Psychologist
	(Dec.	1994).
			6.
	Toxic	emotions:	Howard	Friedman	and	S.	Boothby-Kewley,	“The	Disease-Prone
Personality:	A	Meta-Analytic	View,”
American	Psychologist
	42	(1987).	This	broad	analysis
of	studies	used	“meta-analysis,”	in	which	results	from	many	smaller	studies	can	be
combined	statistically	into	one	immense	study.	This	allows	effects	that	might	not	show	up
in	any	given	study	to	be	detected	more	easily	because	of	the	much	larger	total	number	of
people	being	studied.
			7.
	Skeptics	argue	that	the	emotional	picture	linked	to	higher	rates	of	disease	is	the	profile	of
the	quintessential	neurotic—an	anxious,	depressed,	and	angry	emotional	wreck—and	that
the	higher	rates	of	disease	they	report	are	due	not	so	much	to	a	medical	fact	as	to	a
propensity	to	whine	and	complain	about	health	problems,	exaggerating	their	seriousness.
But	Friedman	and	others	argue	that	the	weight	of	evidence	for	the	emotion-disease	link	is
borne	by	research	in	which	it	is	physicians’	evaluations	of	observable	signs	of	illness	and
medical	tests,	not	patients’	complaints,	that	determine	the	level	of	sickness—a	more
objective	basis.	Of	course,	there	is	the	possibility	that	increased	distress	is	the	result	of	a


medical	condition,	as	well	as	precipitating	it;	for	that	reason	the	most	convincing	data
come	from	prospective	studies	in	which	emotional	states	are	evaluated	prior	to	the	onset
of	disease.
			8.

Gail	Ironson	et	al.,	“Effects	of	Anger	on	Left	Ventricular	Ejection	Fraction	in	Coronary
Artery	Disease,”
The	American	Journal	of	Cardiology
	70	1992.	Pumping	efficiency,
sometimes	referred	to	as	the	“ejection	fraction,”	quantifies	the	heart’s	ability	to	pump
blood	out	of	the	left	ventricle	into	the	arteries;	it	measures	the	percentage	of	blood
pumped	out	of	the	ventricles	with	each	beat	of	the	heart.	In	heart	disease	the	drop	in


pumping	efficiency	means	a	weakening	of	the	heart	muscle.
			9.
	Of	the	dozen	or	so	studies	of	hostility	and	death	from	heart	disease,	some	have	failed	to
find	a	link.	But	that	failure	may	be	due	to	differences	in	method,	such	as	using	a	poor
measure	of	hostility,	and	to	the	relative	subtlety	of	the	effect.	For	instance,	the	greatest
number	of	deaths	from	the	hostility	effect	seem	to	occur	in	midlife.	If	a	study	fails	to	track
down	the	causes	of	death	for	people	during	this	period,	it	misses	the	effect.
10.
	Hostility	and	heart	disease:	Redford	Williams,
The	Trusting	Heart
	(New	York:	Times
Books/Random	House,	1989).
11.
	Peter	Kaufman:	I	interviewed	Dr.	Kaufman	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Sept.	1,	1992).
12.
	Stanford	study	of	anger	and	second	heart	attacks:	Carl	Thoreson,	presented	at	the
International	Congress	of	Behavioral	Medicine,	Uppsala,	Sweden	(July	1990).
13.
	Lynda	H.	Powell,	Emotional	Arousal	as	a	Predictor	of	Long-Term	Mortality	and	Morbidity
in	Post	M.I.	Men,”
Circulation
,	vol.	82,	no.	4,	Supplement	III,	Oct.	1990.
14.


14.
	Murray	A.	Mittleman,	“Triggering	of	Myocardial	Infarction	Onset	by	Episodes	of	Anger,”
Circulation
,	vol.	89,	no.	2	(1994).
15.
	Suppressing	anger	raises	blood	pressure:	Robert	Levenson,	“Can	We	Control	Our	Emotions,
and	How	Does	Such	Control	Change	an	Emotional	Episode?”	in	Richard	Davidson	and
Paul	Ekman,	eds.,
Fundamental	Questions	About	Emotions
	(New	York:	Oxford	University
Press,	1995).
16.
	The	angry	personal	style:	I	wrote	about	Redford	Williams’s	research	on	anger	and	the
heart	in
The	New	York	Times	Good	Health	Magazine
	(Apr.	16,	1989).
17.
	A	44	percent	reduction	in	second	heart	attacks:	Thoreson,	op.	cit.
18.
	Dr.	Williams’s	program	for	anger	control:	Williams,
The	Trusting	Heart
.
19.
	The	worried	woman:	Timothy	Brown	et	al.,	“Generalized	Anxiety	Disorder,”	in	David	H.
Barlow,	ed.,
Clinical	Handbook	of	Psychological	Disorders
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
20.
	Stress	and	metastasis:	Bruce	McEwen	and	Eliot	Stellar,	“Stress	and	the	Individual:


Mechanisms	Leading	to	Disease,”
Archives	of	Internal	Medicine
	153	(Sept.	27,	1993).	The
study	they	are	describing	is	M.	Robertson	and	J.	Ritz,	“Biology	and	Clinical	Relevance	of
Human	Natural	Killer	Cells,”
Blood	76
	(1990).
21.
	There	may	be	multiple	reasons	why	people	under	stress	are	more	vulnerable	to	sickness,
apart	from	biological	pathways.	One	might	be	that	the	ways	people	try	to	soothe	their
anxiety—for	example,	smoking,	drinking,	or	bingeing	on	fatty	foods—are	in	themselves
unhealthy.	Still	another	is	that	constant	worry	and	anxiety	can	make	people	lose	sleep	or
forget	to	comply	with	medical	regimens—such	as	taking	medications—and	so	prolong
illnesses	they	already	have.	Most	likely,	all	of	these	work	in	tandem	to	link	stress	and
disease.
22.
	Stress	weakens	the	immune	system:	For	instance,	in	the	study	of	medical	students	facing


exam	stress,	the	students	had	not	only	a	lowered	immune	control	of	the	herpes	virus,	but
also	a	decline	in	the	ability	of	their	white	blood	cells	to	kill	infected	cells,	as	well	as	an
increase	in	levels	of	a	chemical	associated	with	suppression	of	immune
abilities	in
lymphocytes,	the	white	blood	cells	central	to	the	immune	response.	See	Ronald	Glaser	and
Janice	Kiecolt-Glaser,	“Stress-Associated	Depression	in	Cellular	Immunity,”
Brain,
Behavior,	and	Immunity
	1	(1987).	But	in	most	such	studies	showing	a	weakening	of
immune	defenses	with	stress,	it	has	not	been	clear	that	these	levels	were	low	enough	to
lead	to	medical	risk.
23.
	Stress	and	colds:	Sheldon	Cohen	et	al.,	“Psychological	Stress	and	Susceptibility	to	the
Common	Cold,”
New	England	Journal	of	Medicine
	325	(1991).
24.
	Daily	upsets	and	infection:	Arthur	Stone	et	al.,	“Secretory	IgA	as	a	Measure	of
Immunocompetence,”
Journal	of	Human	Stress
	13	(1987).	In	another	study,	246	husbands,
wives,	and	children	kept	daily	logs	of	stresses	in	their	family’s	life	over	the	course	of	the
flu	season.	Those	who	had	the	most	family	crises	also	had	the	highest	rate	of	flu,	as


measured	both	by	days	with	fever	and	flu	antibody	levels.	See	R.	D.	Clover	et	al.,	“Family
Functioning	and	Stress	as	Predictors	of	Influenza	B	Infection,”
Journal	of	Family	Practice
	28
(May	1989).
25.
	Herpes	virus	flare-up	and	stress:	a	series	of	studies	by	Ronald	Glaser	and	Janice	Kiecolt-
Glaser—e.g.,	“Psychological	Influences	on	Immunity,”
American	Psychologist
	43	(1988).
The	relationship	between	stress	and	herpes	activity	is	so	strong	that	it	has	been
demonstrated	in	a	study	of	only	ten	patients,	using	the	actual	breaking-out	of	herpes	sores
as	a	measure;	the	more	anxiety,	hassles,	and	stress	reported	by	the	patients,	the	more
likely	they	were	to	have	herpes	outbreaks	in	the	following	weeks;	placid	periods	in	their
lives	led	to	dormancy	of	the	herpes.	See	H.	E.	Schmidt	et	al.,	“Stress	as	a	Precipitating
Factor	in	Subjects	With	Recurrent	Herpes	Labialis,”
Journal	of	Family	Practice
,	20	(1985).
26.
	Anxiety	in	women	and	heart	disease:	Carl	Thoreson,	presented	at	the	International
Congress	of	Behavioral	Medicine,	Uppsala,	Sweden	(July	1990).	Anxiety	may	also	play	a


role	in	making	some	men	more	vulnerable	to	heart	disease.	In	a	study	at	the	University	of
Alabama	medical	school,	1,123	men	and	women	between	the	ages	of	forty-five	and
seventy-seven	were	assessed	on	their	emotional	profiles.	Those	men	most	prone	to	anxiety
and	worry	in	middle	age	were	far	more	likely	than	others	to	have	hypertension	when
tracked	down	twenty	years	later.	See	Abraham	Markowitz	et	al
.,	Journal	of	the	American
Medical	Association
	(Nov.	14,	1993).
27.
	Stress	and	colorectal	cancer:	Joseph	C.	Courtney	et	al.,	“Stressful	Life	Events	and	the	Risk
of	Colorectal	Cancer,”
Epidemiology	(Sept
.	1993),	4(5).
28.
	Relaxation	to	counter	stress-based	symptoms:	See,	for	example,	Daniel	Goleman	and	Joel
Gurin,
Mind	Body	Medicine
	(New	York:	Consumer	Reports	Books/St.	Martin’s	Press,	1993).
29.
	Depression	and	disease:	see,	e.g.,	Seymour	Reichlin,	“Neuroendocrine-Immune
Interactions,”
New	England	Journal	of	Medicine
	(Oct.	21,	1993).


30.
	Bone	marrow	transplant:	cited	in	James	Strain,	“Cost	Offset	From	a	Psychiatric
Consultation-Liaison	Intervention	With	Elderly	Hip	Fracture	Patients,”
American	Journal	of
Psychiatry
	148	(1991).
31.
	Howard	Burton	et	al.,	“The	Relationship	of	Depression	to	Survival	in	Chronic	Renal
Failure,”
Psychosomatic	Medicine
	(March	1986).
32.
	Hopelessness	and	death	from	heart	disease:	Robert	Anda	et	al.,	“Depressed	Affect,
Hopelessness,	and	the	Risk	of	Ischemic	Heart	Disease	in	a	Cohort	of	U.S.	Adults,”
Epidemiology
	(July	1993).
33.

Depression	and	heart	attack:	Nancy	Frasure-Smith	et	al.,	“Depression	Following
Myocardial	Infarction,”
Journal	of	the	American	Medical	Association
	(Oct.	20,	1993).
34.
	Depression	in	multiple	illness:	Dr.	Michael	von	Korff,	the	University	of	Washington
psychiatrist	who	did	the	study,	pointed	out	to	me	that	with	such	patients,	who	face
tremendous	challenges	just	in	living	from	day	to	day,	“If	you	treat	a	patient’s	depression,
you	see	improvements	over	and	above	any	changes	in	their	medical	condition.	If	you’re


depressed,	your	symptoms	seem	worse	to	you.	Having	a	chronic	physical	disease	is	a
major	adaptive	challenge.	If	you’re	depressed,	you’re	less	able	to	learn	to	take	care	of	your
illness.	Even	with	physical	impairment,	if	you’re	motivated	and	have	energy	and	feelings
of	self-worth—all	of	which	are	at	risk	in	depression—then	people	can	adapt	remarkably
even	to	severe	impairments.”
35.
	Optimism	and	bypass	surgery:	Chris	Peterson	et	al.,
Learned	Helplessness:	A	Theory	for	the
Age	of	Personal	Control
	(New	York:	Oxford	University	Press,	1993).
36.
	Spinal	injury	and	hope:	Timothy	Elliott	et	al.,	“Negotiating	Reality	After	Physical	Loss:
Hope,	Depression,	and	Disability,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	61,	4
(1991).
37.
	Medical	risk	of	social	isolation:	James	House	et	al.,	“Social	Relationships	and	Health,”
Science	(July
	29,	1988).	But	also	see	a	mixed	finding:	Carol	Smith	et	al.,	“Meta-Analysis	of
the	Associations	Between	Social	Support	and	Health	Outcomes,”
Journal	of	Behavioral
Medicine
	(1994).
38.
	Isolation	and	mortality	risk:	Other	studies	suggest	a	biological	mechanism	at	work.	These


findings,	cited	in	House,	“Social	Relationships	and	Health,”	have	found	that	the	simple
presence	of	another	person	can	reduce	anxiety	and	lessen	physiological	distress	in	people
in	intensive-care	units.	The	comforting	effect	of	another	person’s	presence	has	been	found
to	lower	not	just	heart	rate	and	blood	pressure,	but	also	the	secretion	of	fatty	acids	that
can	block	arteries.	One	theory	put	forward	to	explain	the	healing	effects	of	social	contact
suggests	a	brain	mechanism	at	work.	This	theory	points	to	animal	data	showing	a	calming
effect	on	the	posterior	hypothalamic	zone,	an	area	of	the	limbic	system	with	rich
connections	to	the	amygdala.	The	comforting	presence	of	another	person,	this	view	holds,
inhibits	limbic	activity,	lowering	the	rate	of	secretion	of	acetylcholine,	cortisol,	and


catecholamines,	all	neurochemicals	that	trigger	more	rapid	breathing,	a	quickened
heartbeat,	and	other	physiological	signs	of	stress.
39.
	Strain,	“Cost	Offset.”
40.
	Heart	attack	survival	and	emotional	support:	Lisa	Berkman	et	al.,	“Emotional	Support	and
Survival	After	Myocardial	Infarction,	A	Prospective	Population	Based	Study	of	the
Elderly,”
Annals	of	Internal	Medicine
	(Dec.	15,	1992).
41.
	The	Swedish	study:	Annika	Rosengren	et	al.,	“Stressful	Life	Events,	Social	Support,	and
Mortality	in	Men	Born	in	1933,”
British	Medical	Journal
	(Oct.	19,	1993).
42.
	Marital	arguments	and	immune	system:	Janice	Kiecolt-Glaser	et	al.,	“Marital	Quality,
Marital	Disruption,	and	Immune	Function,”
Psychosomatic	Medicine
	49	(1987).
43.
	I	interviewed	John	Cacioppo	for
The	New	York	Times
	(Dec.	15,	1992).
44.
	Talking	about	troubling	thoughts:	James	Pennebaker,	“Putting	Stress	Into	Words:	Health,
Linguistic	and	Therapeutic	Implications,”	paper	presented	at	the	American	Psychological
Association	meeting,	Washington,	DC	(1992).
45.


Association	meeting,	Washington,	DC	(1992).
45.
	Psychotherapy	and	medical	improvements:	Lester	Luborsky	et	al.,	“Is	Psychotherapy
Good
for	Your	Health?”	paper	presented	at	the	American	Psychological	Association	meeting,
Washington,	DC	(1993).
46.
	Cancer	support	groups:	David	Spiegel	et	al.,	“Effect	of	Psychosocial	Treatment	on	Survival
of	Patients	with	Metastatic	Breast	Cancer,”
Lancet
	No.	8668,	ii	(1989).
47.
	Patients’	questions:	The	finding	was	cited	by	Dr.	Steven	Cohen-Cole,	a	psychiatrist	at
Emory	University,	when	I	interviewed	him	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Nov.	13,	1991).
48.
	Full	information:	For	example,	the	Planetree	program	at	Pacific	Presbyterian	Hospital	in
San	Francisco	will	do	searches	of	medical	and	lay	research	on	any	medical	topic	for
anyone	who	requests	it.
49.
	Making	patients	effective:	One	program	has	been	developed	by	Dr.	Mack	Lipkin,	Jr.,	at
New	York	University	Medical	School.
50.
	Emotional	preparation	for	surgery:	I	wrote	about	this	in
The	New	York
	Times	(Dec.	10,
1987).
51.


Times	(Dec.	10,
1987).
51.
	Family	care	in	the	hospital:	Again,	Planetree	is	a	model,	as	are	the	Ronald	McDonald
houses	that	allow	parents	to	stay	next	door	to	hospitals	where	their	children	are	patients.
52.
	Mindfulness	and	medicine:	See	Jon	Kabat-Zinn,
Full	Catastrophe	Living
	(New	York:
Delacorte,	1991).
53.
	Program	for	reversing	heart	disease:	See	Dean	Ornish,
Dr.	Dean	Ornish’s	Program	for
Reversing	Heart	Disease
	(New	York:	Ballantine,	1991).
54.
	Relationship-centered	medicine:
Health	Professions	Education	and	Relationship-Centered
Care
.	Report	of	the	Pew-Fetzer	Task	Force	on	Advancing	Psychosocial	Health	Education,
Pew	Health	Professions	Commission	and	Fetzer	Institute	at	The	Center	of	Health


Professions,	University	of	California	at	San	Francisco,	San	Francisco	(Aug.	1994).
55.
	Left	the	hospital	early:	Strain,	“Cost	Offset.”
56.
	Unethical	not	to	treat	depression	in	heart	disease	patients:	Redford	Williams	and	Margaret
Chesney,	“Psychosocial	Factors	and	Prognosis	in	Established	Coronary	Heart	Disease,”
Journal	of	the	American	Medical	Association
	(Oct.	20,	1993).
57.
	An	open	letter	to	a	surgeon:	A.	Stanley	Kramer,	“A	Prescription	for	Healing,”
Newsweek
(June	7,	1993).


PART	FOUR:	WINDOWS	OF	OPPORTUNITY
Chapter	12.	The	Family	Crucible
			1.
	Leslie	and	the	video	game:	Beverly	Wilson	and	John	Gottman,	“Marital	Conflict	and
Parenting:	The	Role	of	Negativity	in	Families,”	in	M.	H.	Bornstein,	ed.,
Handbook	of
Parenting
,	vol.	4	(Hillsdale,	NJ:	Lawrence	Erlbaum,	1994).
			2.
	The	research	on	emotions	in	the	family	was	an	extension	of	John	Gottman’s	marital
studies	reviewed	in	Chapter	9.	See	Carole	Hooven,	Lynn	Katz,	and	John	Gottman,	“The
Family	as	a	Meta-emotion	Culture,”
Cognition	and	Emotion
	(Spring	1994).
			3.
	The	benefits	for	children	of	having	emotionally	adept	parents:	Hooven,	Katz,	and
Gottman,	“The	Family	as	a	Meta-emotion	Culture.”
			4.

Optimistic	infants:	T.	Berry	Brazelton,	in	the	preface	to
Heart	Start:	The	Emotional
Foundations	of	School	Readiness
	(Arlington,	VA:	National	Center	for	Clinical	Infant
Programs,	1992).
			5.
	Emotional	predictors	of	school	success:
Heart	Start
.
			6.
	Elements	of	school	readiness:
Heart	Start
,	p.	7.
			7.
	Infants	and	mothers:


7.
	Infants	and	mothers:
Heart	Start
,	p.	9.
			8.
	Damage	from	neglect:	M.	Erickson	et	al.,	“The	Relationship	Between	Quality	of
Attachment	and	Behavior	Problems	in	Preschool	in	a	High-Risk	Sample,”	in	I.	Betherton
and	E.	Waters,	eds.,
Monographs	of	the	Society	of	Research	in	Child	Development
	50,	series
no.	209.
			9.
	Lasting	lessons	of	first	four	years:
Heart	Start
,	p.	13.
10.
	The	follow-up	of	aggressive	children:	L.	R.	Huesman,	Leonard	Eron,	and	Patty	Warnicke-
Yarmel,	“Intellectual	Function	and	Aggression,”
The	Journal	of	Personality	and	Social
Psychology
	(Jan.	1987).	Similar	findings	were	reported	by	Alexander	Thomas	and	Stella
Chess,	in	the	September	1988	issue	of
Child	Development
,	in	their	study	of	seventy-five
children	who	were	assessed	at	regular	intervals	since	1956,	when	they	were	between
seven	and	twelve	years	old.	Alexander	Thomas	et	al.,	“Longitudinal	Study	of	Negative
Emotional	States	and	Adjustments	From	Early	Childhood	Through	Adolescence,”
Child
Development
	59	(1988).	A	decade	later	the	children	who	parents	and	teachers	had	said


were	the	most	aggressive	in	grade	school	were	having	the	most	emotional	turmoil	in	late
adolescence.	These	were	children	(about	twice	as	many	boys	as	girls)	who	not	only
continually	picked	fights,	but	who	also	were	belittling	or	openly	hostile	toward	other
children,	and	even	toward	their	families	and	teachers.	Their	hostility	was	unchanged	over
the	years;	as	adolescents	they	were	having	trouble	getting	along	with	classmates	and	with
their	families,	and	were	in	trouble	at	school.	And,	when	contacted	as	adults,	their


difficulties	ranged	from	tangles	with	the	law	to	anxiety	problems	and	depression.
11.
	Lack	of	empathy	in	abused	children:	The	day-care	observations	and	findings	are	reported
in	Mary	Main	and	Carol	George,	“Responses	of	Abused	and	Disadvantaged	Toddlers	to
Distress	in	Agemates:	A	Study	in	the	Day-Care	Setting,”
Developmental	Psychology
	21,	3
(1985).	The	findings	have	been	repeated	with	preschoolers	as	well:	Bonnie	Klimes-Dougan
and	Janet	Kistner,	“Physically	Abused	Preschoolers’	Responses	to	Peers’	Distress,”
Developmental	Psychology
	26	(1990).
12.
	Difficulties	of	abused	children:	Robert	Emery,	“Family	Violence,”
American	Psychologist
(Feb.	1989).
13.
	Abuse	over	generations:	Whether	abused	children	grow	up	to	be	abusing	parents	is	a	point
of	scientific	debate.	See,	for	example,	Cathy	Spatz	Widom,	“Child	Abuse,	Neglect	and
Adult	Behavior,”
American	Journal	of	Orthopsychiatry
	(July	1989).
Chapter	13.	Trauma	and	Emotional	Relearning
			1.
	I	wrote	about	the	lasting	trauma	of	the	killings	at	Cleveland	Elementary	School	in
The
New	York	Times


The
New	York	Times
	“Education	Life”	section	(Jan.	7,	1990).
			2.
	The	examples	of	PTSD	in	crime	victims	were	offered	by	Dr.	Shelly	Niederbach,	a
psychologist	at	the	Victims’	Counseling	Service,	Brooklyn.
			3.

The	Vietnam	memory	is	from	M.	Davis,	“Analysis	of	Aversive	Memories	Using	the	Fear-
Potentiated	Startle	Paradigm,”	in	N.	Butters	and	L.	R	Squire,	eds.,
The	Neuropsychology	of
Memory
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1992).
			4.
	LeDoux	makes	the	scientific	case	for	these	memories	being	especially	enduring	in
“Indelibility	of	Subcortical	Emotional	Memories,”
Journal	of	Cognitive	Neuroscience
	(1989),
vol.	1,	238–43.
			5.
	I	interviewed	Dr.	Charney	in
The	New	York	Times
	(June	12,	1990).
			6.
	The	experiments	with	paired	laboratory	animals	were	described	to	me	by	Dr.	John
Krystal,	and	have	been	repeated	at	several	scientific	laboratories.	The	major	studies	were
done	by	Dr.	Jay	Weiss	at	Duke	University.
			7.
	The	best	account	of	the	brain	changes	underlying	PTSD,	and	the	role	of	the	amygdala	in


them,	is	in	Dennis	Charney	et	al.,	“Psychobiologic	Mechanisms	of	Posttraumatic	Stress
Disorder,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
	50	(April	1993),	294–305.
			8.
	Some	of	the	evidence	for	trauma-induced	changes	in	this	brain	network	comes	from
experiments	in	which	Vietnam	vets	with	PTSD	were	injected	with	yohimbine,	a	drug	used
on	the	tips	of	arrows	by	South	American	Indians	to	render	their	prey	helpless.	In	tiny
doses	yohimbine	blocks	the	action	of	a	specific	receptor	(the	point	on	a	neuron	that
receives	a	neurotransmitter)	that	ordinarily	acts	as	a	brake	on	the	catecholamines.
Yohimbine	takes	the	brakes	off,	keeping	these	receptors	from	sensing	the	secretion	of


catecholamines;	the	result	is	increasing	catecholamine	levels.	With	the	neural	brakes	on
anxiety	disarmed	by	the	drug	injections,	the	yohimbine	triggered	panic	in	9	of	15	PTSD
patients,	and	lifelike	flashbacks	in	6.	One	vet	had	a	hallucination	of	a	helicopter	being
shot	down	in	a	trail	of	smoke	and	a	bright	flash;	another	saw	the	explosion	by	a	land	mine
of	a	Jeep	with	his	buddies	in	it—the	same	scene	that	had	haunted	his	nightmares	and
appeared	as	flashbacks	for	more	than	20	years.	The	yohimbine	study	was	conducted	by
Dr.	John	Krystal,	director	of	the	Laboratory	of	Clinical	Psychopharmacology	at	the
National	Center	for	PTSD	at	the	West	Haven,	Conn.,	VA	Hospital.
			9.
	Fewer	alpha-2	receptors	in	men	with	PTSD:	see	Charney,	“Psychobiologic	Mechanisms.”
10.
	The	brain,	trying	to	lower	the	rate	of	CRF	secretion,	compensates	by	decreasing	the
number	of	receptors	that	release	it.	One	telltale	sign	that	this	is	what	happens	in	people
with	PTSD	comes	from	a	study	in	which	eight	patients	being	treated	for	the	problem	were
injected	with	CRF.	Ordinarily,	an	injection	of	CRF	triggers	a	flood	of	ACTH,	the	hormone


that	streams	through	the	body	to	trigger	catecholamines.	But	in	the	PTSD	patients,	unlike
a	comparison	group	of	people	without	PTSD,	there	was	no	discernible	change	in	levels	of
ACTH—a	sign	that	their	brains	had	cut	back	on	CRF	receptors	because	they	already	were
overloaded	with	the	stress	hormone.	The	research	was	described	to	me	by	Charles
Nemeroff,	a	Duke	University	psychiatrist.
11.
	I	interviewed	Dr.	Nemeroff	in
The	New	York	Times
	(June	12,	1990).
12.
	Something	similar	seems	to	occur	in	PTSD:	For	instance,	in	one	experiment	Vietnam	vets
with	a	PTSD	diagnosis	were	shown	a	specially	edited	15-minute	film	of	graphic	combat
scenes	from	the	movie
Platoon
.	In	one	group,	the	vets	were	injected	with	naloxone,	a
substance	that	blocks	endorphins;	after	watching	the	movie,	these	vets	showed	no	change
in	their	sensitivity	to	pain.	But	in	the	group	without	the	endorphin	blocker,	the	men’s	pain
sensitivity	decreased	30	percent,	indicating	an	increase	in	endorphin	secretion.	The	same
scene	had	no	such	effect	on	veterans	who	did	not	have	PTSD,	suggesting	that	in	the	PTSD
victims	the	nerve	pathways	that	regulate	endorphins	were	overly	sensitive	or	hyperactive


—an	effect	that	became	apparent
only	when	they	were	reexposed	to	something
reminiscent	of	the	original	trauma.	In	this	sequence	the	amygdala	first	evaluates	the
emotional	importance	of	what	we	see.	The	study	was	done	by	Dr.	Roger	Pitman,	a
Harvard	psychiatrist.	As	with	other	symptoms	of	PTSD,	this	brain	change	is	not	only
learned	under	duress,	but	can	be	triggered	once	again	if	there	is	something	reminiscent	of
the	original	terrible	event.	For	example,	Pitman	found	that	when	laboratory	rats	were
shocked	in	a	cage,	they	developed	the	same	endorphin-based	analgesia	found	in	the
Vietnam	vets	shown
Platoon
.	Weeks	later,	when	the	rats	were	put	into	the	cages	where
they	had	been	shocked—but	without	any	current	being	turned	on—they	once	again
became	insensitive	to	pain,	as	they	originally	had	been	when	shocked.	See	Roger	Pitman,
“Naloxone-Reversible	Analgesic	Response	to	Combat-Related	Stimuli	in	Posttraumatic
Stress	Disorder,”
Archives	of	General	Medicine
	(June	1990).	See	also	Hillel	Glover,


“Emotional	Numbing:	A	Possible	Endorphin-Mediated	Phenomenon	Associated	with	Post-
Traumatic	Stress	Disorders	and	Other	Allied	Psychopathologic	States,”
Journal	of
Traumatic	Stress
	5,	4	(1992).
13.
	The	brain	evidence	reviewed	in	this	section	is	based	on	Dennis	Charney’s	excellent	article,
“Psychobiologic	Mechanisms.”
14.
	Charney,	“Psychobiologic	Mechanisms,”	300.
15.
	Role	of	prefrontal	cortex	in	unlearning	fear:	In	Richard	Davidson’s	study,	volunteers	had
their	sweat	response	measured	(a	barometer	of	anxiety)	while	they	heard	a	tone	followed
by	a	loud,	obnoxious	noise.	The	loud	noise	triggered	a	rise	in	sweat.	After	a	time,	the	tone
alone	was	enough	to	trigger	the	same	rise,	showing	that	the	volunteers	had	learned	an
aversion	to	the	tone.	As	they	continued	to	hear	the	tone	without	the	obnoxious	noise,	the
learned	aversion	faded	away—the	tone	sounded	without	any	increase	in	sweat.	The	more
active	the	volunteers’	left	prefrontal	cortex,	the	more	quickly	they	lost	the	learned	fear.
				In	another	experiment	showing	the	prefrontal	lobes’	role	in	getting	over	a	fear,	lab	rats


—as	is	so	often	the	case	in	these	studies—learned	to	fear	a	tone	paired	with	an	electric
shock.	The	rats	then	had	what	amounts	to	a	lobotomy,	a	surgical	lesion	in	their	brain	that
cut	off	the	prefrontal	lobes	from	the	amygdala.	For	the	next	several	days	the	rats	heard	the
tone	without	getting	an	electric	shock.	Slowly,	over	a	period	of	days,	rats	who	have	once
learned	to	fear	a	tone	will	gradually	lose	their	fear.	But	for	the	rats	with	the	disconnected
prefrontal	lobes,	it	took	nearly	twice	as	long	to	unlearn	the	fear—suggesting	a	crucial	role
for	the	prefrontal	lobes	in	managing	fear	and,	more	generally,	in	mastering	emotional
lessons.	This	experiment	was	done	by	Maria	Morgan,	a	graduate	student	of	Joseph
LeDoux’s	at	the	Center	for	Neural	Science,	New	York	University.
16.
	Recovery	from	PTSD:	I	was	told	about	this	study	by	Rachel	Yehuda,	a	neurochemist	and
director	of	the	Traumatic	Stress	Studies	Program	at	the	Mt.	Sinai	School	of	Medicine	in
Manhattan.	I	reported	on	the	results	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Oct.	6,	1992).
17.
	Childhood	trauma:	Lenore	Terr,
Too	Scared	to	Cry


Too	Scared	to	Cry
	(New	York:	HarperCollins,	1990).
18.
	Pathway	to	recovery	from	trauma:	Judith	Lewis	Herman,
Trauma	and	Recovery
	(New	York:
Basic	Books,	1992).
19.
	“Dosing”	of	trauma:	Mardi	Horowitz,
Stress	Response	Syndromes
	(Northvale,	NJ:	Jason
Aronson,	1986).
20.
	Another	level	at	which	relearning	goes	on,	at	least	for	adults,	is	philosophical.	The	eternal
question	of	the	victim—“Why	me?”—needs	to	be	addressed.	Being	the	victim	of	trauma
shatters	a	person’s	faith	that	the	world	is	a	place	that	can	be	trusted,	and	that	what
happens	to	us	in	life	is	just—that	is,	that	we	can	have	control	over	our	destiny	by
living	a
righteous	life.	The	answers	to	the	victim’s	conundrum,	of	course,	need	not	be
philosophical	or	religious;	the	task	is	to	rebuild	a	system	of	belief	or	faith	that	allows
living	once	again	as	though	the	world	and	the	people	in	it	can	be	trusted.


21.
	That	the	original	fear	persists,	even	if	subdued,	has	been	shown	in	studies	where	lab	rats
were	conditioned	to	fear	a	sound,	such	as	a	bell,	when	it	was	paired	with	an	electric
shock.	Afterward,	when	they	heard	the	bell	they	reacted	with	fear,	even	though	no	shock
accompanied	it.	Gradually,	over	the	course	of	a	year	(a	very	long	time	for	a	rat—about	a
third	of	its	life),	the	rats	lost	their	fearfulness	of	the	bell.	But	the	fear	was	restored	in	full
force	when	the	sound	of	the	bell	was	once	again	paired	with	a	shock.	The	fear	came	back
in	a	single	instant—but	took	months	and	months	to	subside.	The	parallel	in	humans,	of
course,	is	when	a	traumatic	fear	from	long	ago,	dormant	for	years,	floods	back	in	full	force
with	some	reminder	of	the	original	trauma.
22.
	Luborsky’s	therapy	research	is	detailed	in	Lester	Luborsky	and	Paul	Crits-Christoph,
Understanding	Transference:	The	CCRT	Method
	(New	York:	Basic	Books,	1990).
Chapter	14.	Temperament	Is	Not	Destiny
			1.
	See,	for	example,	Jerome	Kagan	et	al.,	“Initial	Reactions	to	Unfamiliarity,”
Current
Directions	in	Psychological	Science
	(Dec.	1992).	The	fullest	description	of	the	biology	of


(Dec.	1992).	The	fullest	description	of	the	biology	of
temperament	is	in	Kagan,
Galen’s	Prophecy
.
			2.
	Tom	and	Ralph,	archetypically	timid	and	bold	types,	are	described	in	Kagan,
Galen’s
Prophecy
,	pp.	155–57.
			3.
	Lifelong	problems	of	the	shy	child:	Iris	Bell,	“Increased	Prevalence	of	Stress-related
Symptoms	in	Middle-aged	Women	Who	Report	Childhood	Shyness,”
Annals	of	Behavior
Medicine
	16	(1994).
			4.
	The	heightened	heart	rate:	Iris	R.	Bell	et	al.,	“Failure	of	Heart	Rate	Habituation	During
Cognitive	and	Olfactory	Laboratory	Stressors	in	Young	Adults	With	Childhood	Shyness,”
Annals	of	Behavior	Medicine
	16	(1994).
			5.
	Panic	in	teenagers:	Chris	Hayward	et	al.,	“Pubertal	Stage	and	Panic	Attack	History	in
Sixth-	and	Seventh-grade	Girls,”
American	Journal	of	Psychiatry
	vol.	149(9)	(Sept.	1992),
pp.	1239–43;	Jerold	Rosenbaum	et	al.,	“Behavioral	Inhibition	in	Childhood:	A	Risk	Factor
for	Anxiety	Disorders,”
Harvard	Review	of	Psychiatry
	(May	1993).
			6.


(May	1993).
			6.
	The	research	on	personality	and	hemispheric	differences	was	done	by	Dr.	Richard
Davidson	at	the	University	of	Wisconsin,	and	by	Dr.	Andrew	Tomarken,	a	psychologist	at
Vanderbilt	University:	see	Andrew	Tomarken	and	Richard	Davidson,	“Frontal	Brain
Activation	in	Repressors	and	Nonrepressors,”	Journal
of	Abnormal	Psychology
	103	(1994).
			7.
	The	observations	of	how	mothers	can	help	timid	infants	become	bolder	were	done	with
Doreen	Arcus.	Details	are	in	Kagan,
Galen’s	Prophecy
.
			8.
	Kagan,
Galen’s	Prophecy
,	pp.	194–95.
			9.
	Growing	less	shy:	Jens	Asendorpf,	“The	Malleability	of	Behavioral	Inhibition:	A	Study	of
Individual	Developmental	Functions,”
Developmental	Psychology
	30,	6	(1994).


10.
	Hubel	and	Wiesel:	David	H.	Hubel,	Thorsten	Wiesel,	and	S.	Levay,	“Plasticity	of	Ocular
Columns	in	Monkey	Striate	Cortex,”
Philosophical	Transactions	of	the	Royal	Society	of
London
	278	(1977).
11.

Experience	and	the	rat’s	brain:	The	work	of	Marian	Diamond	and	others	is	described	in
Richard	Thompson,
The	Brain
	(San	Francisco:	W.	H.	Freeman,	1985).
12.
	Brain	changes	in	treating	obsessive-compulsive	disorder:	L.	R.	Baxter	et	al.,	“Caudate
Glucose	Metabolism	Rate	Changes	With	Both	Drug	and	Behavior	Therapy	for	Obsessive-
Compulsive	Disorder,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
	49	(1992).
13.
	Increased	activity	in	prefrontal	lobes:	L.	R.	Baxter	et	al.,	“Local	Cerebral	Glucose	Metabolic
Rates	in	Obsessive-Compulsive	Disorder,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
	44	(1987).
14.
	Prefrontal	lobes	maturity:	Bryan	Kolb,	“Brain	Development,	Plasticity,	and	Behavior,”
American	Psychologist	44
	(1989).
15.
	Childhood	experience	and	prefrontal	pruning:	Richard	Davidson,	“Asymmetric	Brain


Function,	Affective	Style	and	Psychopathology:	The	Role	of	Early	Experience	and
Plasticity,”
Development	and	Psychopathology
	vol.	6	(1994),	pp.	741–58.
16.
	Biological	attunement	and	brain	growth:	Schore,
Affect	Regulation
.
17.
	M.	E.	Phelps	et	al.,	“PET:	A	Biochemical	Image	of	the	Brain	at	Work,”	in	N.	A.	Lassen	et
al.,
Brain	Work	and	Mental	Activity:	Quantitative	Studies	with	Radioactive	Tracers
(Copenhagen:	Munksgaard,	1991).


PART	FIVE:	EMOTIONAL	LITERACY
Chapter	15.	The	Cost	of	Emotional	Illiteracy
			1.
	Emotional	literacy:	I	wrote	about	such	courses	in
The	New	York	Times
	(March	3,	1992).
			2.
	The	statistics	on	teen	crime	rates	are	from	the	Uniform	Crime	Reports,
Crime	in	the	U.S.,
1991
,	published	by	the	Department	of	Justice.
			3.
	Violent	crimes	in	teenagers:	In	1990	the	juvenile	arrest	rate	for	violent	crimes	climbed	to
430	per	100,000,	a	27	percent	jump	over	the	1980	rate.	Teen	arrest	rates	for	forcible	rape
rose	from	10.9	per	100,000	in	1965	to	21.9	per	100,000	in	1990.	Teen	murder	rates	more
than	quadrupled	from	1965	to	1990,	from	2.8	per	100,000	to	12.1;	by	1990	three	of	four
teenage	murders	were	with	guns,	a	79	percent	increase	over	the	decade.	Aggravated
assault	by	teenagers	jumped	by	64	percent	from	1980	to	1990.¡	See,	e.g.,	Ruby	Takanashi,
“The	Opportunities	of	Adolescence,”
American	Psychologist
	(Feb.	1993).
			4.


American	Psychologist
	(Feb.	1993).
			4.
	In	1950	the	suicide	rate	for	those	15	to	24	was	4.5	per	100,000.	By	1989	it	was	three
times	higher,	13.3.	Suicide	rates	for	children	10	to	14	almost	tripled	between	1968	and
1985.	Figures	on	suicide,	homicide	victims,	and	pregnancies	are	from
Health,	1991
,	U.S.
Department	of	Health	and	Human	Services,	and	Children’s	Safety	Network,
A	Data	Book	of
Child	and	Adolescent	Injury
	(Washington,	DC:	National	Center	for	Education	in	Maternal
and	Child	Health,	1991).
			5.
	Over	the	three	decades	since	1960,	rates	of	gonorrhea	jumped	to	a	level	four	times	higher
among	children	10	to	14,	and	three	times	higher	among	those	15	to	19.	By	1990,	20
percent	of	AIDS	patients	were	in	their	twenties,	many	having	become	infected	during	their
teen	years.	Pressure	to	have	sex	early	is	getting	stronger.	A	survey	in	the	1990s	found	that
more	than	a	third	of	younger	women	say	that	pressure	from	peers	made	them	decide	to
have	sex	the	first	time;	a	generation	earlier	just	13
percent	of	women	said	so.	See	Ruby


percent	of	women	said	so.	See	Ruby
Takanashi,	“The	Opportunities	of	Adolescence,”	and	Children’s	Safety	Network,
A	Data
Book	of	Child	and	Adolescent	Injury
.
			6.
	Heroin	and	cocaine	use	for	whites	rose	from	18	per	100,000	in	1970	to	a	rate	of	68	in
1990—about	three	times	higher.	But	over	the	same	two	decades	among	blacks,	the	rise
was	from	a	1970	rate	of	53	per	100,000	to	a	staggering	766	in	1990—close	to
13	times
	the
rate	20	years	before.	Drug	use	rates	are	from
Crime	in	the	U.S.,	1991
,	U.S.	Department	of
Justice.
			7.
	As	many	as	one	in	five	children	have	psychological	difficulties	that	impair	their	lives	in
some	way,	according	to	surveys	done	in	the	United	States,	New	Zealand,	Canada,	and
Puerto	Rico.	Anxiety	is	the	most	common	problem	in	children	under	11,	afflicting	10
percent	with	phobias	severe	enough	to	interfere	with	normal	life,	another	5	percent	with
generalized	anxiety	and	constant	worry,	and	another	4	percent	with	intense	anxiety	about


being	separated	from	their	parents.	Binge	drinking	climbs	during	the	teenage	years	among
boys	to	a	rate	of	about	20	percent	by	age	20.	I	reported	much	of	this	data	on	emotional
disorders	in	children	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Jan.	10,	1989).
			8.
	The	national	study	of	children’s	emotional	problems,	and	comparison	with	other
countries:	Thomas	Achenbach	and	Catherine	Howell,	“Are	America’s	Children’s	Problems
Getting	Worse?	A	13-Year	Comparison,”
Journal	of	the	American	Academy	of	Child	and
Adolescent	Psychiatry
	(Nov.	1989).
			9.
	The	comparison	across	nations	was	by	Urie	Bronfenbrenner,	in	Michael	Lamb	and
Kathleen	Sternberg,
Child	Care	in	Context:	Cross-Cultural	Perspectives
	(Englewood,	NJ:
Lawrence	Erlbaum,	1992).
10.
	Urie	Bronfenbrenner	was	speaking	at	a	symposium	at	Cornell	University	(Sept.	24,	1993).
11.
	Longitudinal	studies	of	aggressive	and	delinquent	children:	see,	for	example,	Alexander
Thomas	et	al.,	“Longitudinal	Study	of	Negative	Emotional	States	and	Adjustments	from
Early	Childhood	Through	Adolescence,”
Child	Development
,	vol.	59	(Sept.	1988).
12.


,	vol.	59	(Sept.	1988).
12.
	The	bully	experiment:	John	Lochman,	“Social-Cognitive	Processes	of	Severely	Violent,
Moderately	Aggressive,	and	Nonaggressive	Boys,”
Journal	of	Clinical	and	Consulting
Psychology
,	1994.
13.
	The	aggressive	boys	research:	Kenneth	A.	Dodge,	“Emotion	and	Social	Information
Processing,”	in	J.	Garber	and	K.	Dodge,
The	Development	of	Emotion	Regulation	and
Dysregulation
	(New	York:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1991).
14.
	Dislike	for	bullies	within	hours:	J.	D.	Coie	and	J.	B.	Kupersmidt,	“A	Behavioral	Analysis	of
Emerging	Social	Status	in	Boys’	Groups,”
Child	Development
	54	(1983).
15.
	Up	to	half	of	unruly	children:	See,	for	example,	Dan	Offord	et	al.,	“Outcome,	Prognosis,
and	Risk	in	a	Longitudinal	Follow-up	Study,”
Journal	of	the	American	Academy	of	Child	and
Adolescent	Psychiatry
	31	(1992).
16.
	Aggressive	children	and	crime:	Richard	Tremblay	et	al.,	“Predicting	Early	Onset	of	Male
Antisocial	Behavior	from	Preschool	Behavior,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
	(Sept.	1994).
17.


(Sept.	1994).
17.
	What	happens	in	a	child’s	family	before	the	child	reaches	school	is,	of	course,	crucial	in
creating	a	predisposition	to	aggression.	One	study,	for	example,	showed	that	children
whose	mothers	rejected	them	at	age	1,	and	whose	birth	was	more	complicated,	were	four
times	as	likely	as	others	to	commit	a	violent	crime	by	age	18.	Adriane
Raines	et	al.,	“Birth
Complications	Combined	with	Early	Maternal	Rejection	at	Age	One	Predispose	to	Violent
Crime	at	Age	18	Years,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
	(Dec.	1994).
18.
	While	low	verbal	IQ	has	appeared	to	predict	delinquency	(one	study	found	an	eight-point
difference	in	these	scores	between	delinquents	and	nondelinquents),	there	is	evidence	that
impulsivity	is	more	directly	and	powerfully	at	cause	for	both	the	low	IQ	scores	and
delinquency.	As	for	the	low	scores,	impulsive	children	don’t	pay	attention	well	enough	to
learn	the	language	and	reasoning	skills	on	which	verbal	IQ	scores	are	based,	and	so


impulsivity	lowers	those	scores.	In	the	Pittsburgh	Youth	Study,	a	well-designed
longitudinal	project	where	both	IQ	and	impulsivity	were	assessed	in	ten-	to	twelve-year-
olds,	impulsivity	was	almost	three	times	more	powerful	than	verbal	IQ	in	predicting
delinquency.	See	the	discussion	in:	Jack	Block,	“On	the	Relation	Between	IQ,	Impulsivity,
and	Delinquency,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	104	(1995).
19.
	“Bad”	girls	and	pregnancy:	Marion	Underwood	and	Melinda	Albert,	“Fourth-Grade	Peer
Status	as	a	Predictor	of	Adolescent	Pregnancy,”	paper	presented	at	the	meeting	of	the
Society	for	Research	on	Child	Development,	Kansas	City,	Missouri	(Apr.	1989).
20.
	The	trajectory	to	delinquency:	Gerald	R.	Patterson,	“Orderly	Change	in	a	Stable	World:
The	Antisocial	Trait	as	Chimera,”
Journal	of	Clinical	and	Consulting	Psychology
	62	(1993).
21.
	Mind-set	of	aggression:	Ronald	Slaby	and	Nancy	Guerra,	“Cognitive	Mediators	of
Aggression	in	Adolescent	Offenders,”
Developmental	Psychology
	24	(1988).
22.
	The	case	of	Dana:	from	Laura	Mufson	et	al.,
Interpersonal	Psychotherapy	for	Depressed


Interpersonal	Psychotherapy	for	Depressed
Adolescents
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1993).
23.
	Rising	rates	of	depression	worldwide:	Cross-National	Collaborative	Group,	“The	Changing
Rate	of	Major	Depression:	Cross-National	Comparisons,”
Journal	of	the	American	Medical
Association
	(Dec.	2,	1992).
24.
	Ten	times	greater	chance	of	depression:	Peter	Lewinsohn	et	al.,	“Age-Cohort	Changes	in
the	Lifetime	Occurrence	of	Depression	and	Other	Mental	Disorders,”
Journal	of	Abnormal
Psychology
	102	(1993).
25.
	Epidemiology	of	depression:	Patricia	Cohen	et	al.,	New	York	Psychiatric	Institute,	1988;
Peter	Lewinsohn	et	al.,	“Adolescent	Psychopathology:	I.	Prevalence	and	Incidence	of
Depression	in	High	School	Students,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	102	(1993).	See	also
Mufson	et	al.,
Interpersonal	Psychotherapy
.	For	a	review	of	lower	estimates:	E.	Costello,
“Developments	in	Child	Psychiatric	Epidemiology,”
Journal	of	the	Academy	of	Child	and
Adolescent	Psychiatry
	28	(1989).
26.
	Patterns	of	depression	in	youth:	Maria	Kovacs	and	Leo	Bastiaens,	“The	Psychotherapeutic


Management	of	Major	Depressive	and	Dysthymic	Disorders	in	Childhood	and	Adolescence:
Issues	and	Prospects,”	in	I.	M.	Goodyer,	ed.,
Mood	Disorders	in	Childhood	and	Adolescence
(New
	York:	Cambridge	University	Press,	1994).
27.
	Depression	in	children:	Kovacs,	op.	cit.
28.
	I	interviewed	Maria	Kovacs	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Jan.	11,	1994).
29.
	Social	and	emotional	lag	in	depressed	children:	Maria	Kovacs	and	David	Goldston,
“Cognitive	and	Social	Development	of	Depressed	Children	and	Adolescents,”
Journal	of	the
American	Academy	of	Child	and	Adolescent	Psychiatry
	(May	1991).
30.
	Helplessness	and	depression:	John	Weiss	et	al.,	“Control-related	Beliefs	and	Self-reported
Depressive	Symptoms	in	Late	Childhood”,
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	102	(1993).


31.

Pessimism	and	depression	in	children:	Judy	Garber,	Vanderbilt	University.	See,	e.g.,	Ruth
Hilsman	and	Judy	Garber,	“A	Test	of	the	Cognitive	Diathesis	Model	of	Depression	in
Children:	Academic	Stressors,	Attributional	Style,	Perceived	Competence	and	Control,”
Journal	of	Personality	and	Social	Psychology
	67	(1994);	Judith	Garber,	“Cognitions,
Depressive	Symptoms,	and	Development	in	Adolescents,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
102	(1993).
32.
	Garber,	“Cognitions.”
33.
	Garber,	“Cognitions.”
34.
	Susan	Nolen-Hoeksema	et	al.,	“Predictors	and	Consequences	of	Childhood	Depressive
Symptoms:	A	Five-Year	Longitudinal	Study,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	101	(1992).
35.
	Depression	rate	halved:	Gregory	Clarke,	University	of	Oregon	Health	Sciences	Center,
“Prevention	of	Depression	in	At-Risk	High	School	Adolescents,”	paper	delivered	at	the
American	Academy	of	Child	and	Adolescent	Psychiatry	(Oct.	1993).
36.
	Garber,	“Cognitions.”
37.
	Hilda	Bruch,	“Hunger	and	Instinct,”
Journal	of	Nervous	and	Mental	Disease
	149	(1969).	Her
seminal	book,


149	(1969).	Her
seminal	book,
The	Golden	Cage:	The	Enigma	of	Anorexia	Nervosa
	(Cambridge,	MA:	Harvard
University	Press)	was	not	published	until	1978.
38.
	The	study	of	eating	disorders:	Gloria	R.	Leon	et	al.,	“Personality	and	Behavioral
Vulnerabilities	Associated	with	Risk	Status	for	Eating	Disorders	in	Adolescent	Girls,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	102	(1993).
39.
	The	six-year-old	who	felt	fat	was	a	patient	of	Dr.	William	Feldman,	a	pediatrician	at	the
University	of	Ottawa.
40.
	Noted	by	Sifneos,	“Affect,	Emotional	Conflict,	and	Deficit.”
41.
	The	vignette	of	Ben’s	rebuff	is	from	Steven	Asher	and	Sonda	Gabriel,	“The	Social	World	of
Peer-Rejected	Children,”	paper	presented	at	the	annual	meeting	of	the	American
Educational	Research	Association,	San	Francisco	(Mar.	1989).
42.
	The	dropout	rate	among	socially	rejected	children:	Asher	and	Gabriel,	“The	Social	World
of	Peer-Rejected	Children.”
43.
	The	findings	on	the	poor	emotional	competence	of	unpopular	children	are	from	Kenneth
Dodge	and	Esther	Feldman,	“Social	Cognition	and	Sociometric	Status,”	in	Steven	Asher
and	John	Coie,	eds.,


and	John	Coie,	eds.,
Peer	Rejection	in	Childhood	(New
	York:	Cambridge	University	Press,
1990).
44.
	Emory	Cowen	et	al.,	“Longterm	Follow-up	of	Early	Detected	Vulnerable	Children,”
Journal
of	Clinical	and	Consulting	Psychology
	41	(1973).
45.
	Best	friends	and	the	rejected:	Jeffrey	Parker	and	Steven	Asher,	“Friendship	Adjustment,
Group	Acceptance	and	Social	Dissatisfaction	in	Childhood,”	paper	presented	at	the	annual
meeting	of	the	American	Educational	Research	Association,	Boston	(1990).


46.
	The	coaching	for	socially	rejected	children:	Steven	Asher	and	Gladys	Williams,	“Helping
Children	Without	Friends	in	Home	and	School	Contexts,”	in
Children’s	Social	Development:
Information	for	Parents	and	Teachers
(Urbana	and	Champaign:	University	of	Illinois	Press,
1987).
47.
	Similar	results:	Stephen	Nowicki,	“A	Remediation	Procedure	for	Nonverbal	Processing
Deficits,”	unpublished	manuscript,	Duke	University	(1989).
48.

Two	fifths	are	heavy	drinkers:	a	survey	at	the	University	of	Massachusetts	by	Project	Pulse,
reported	in
The	Daily	Hampshire	Gazette	(Nov
.	13,	1993).
49.
	Binge	drinking:	Figures	are	from	Harvey	Wechsler,	director	of	College	Alcohol	Studies	at
the	Harvard	School	of	Public	Health	(Aug.	1994).
50.
	More	women	drink	to	get	drunk,	and	risk	of	rape:	report	by	the	Columbia	University
Center	on	Addiction	and	Substance	Abuse	(May	1993).
51.
	Leading	cause	of	death:	Alan	Marlatt,	report	at	the	annual	meeting	of	the	American
Psychological	Association	(Aug.	1994).
52.
	Data	on	alcoholism	and	cocaine	addiction	are	from	Meyer	Glantz,	acting	chief	of	the
Etiology	Research	Section	of	the	National	Institute	for	Drug	and	Alcohol	Abuse.


53.
	Distress	and	abuse:	Jeanne	Tschann,	“Initiation	of	Substance	Abuse	in	Early	Adolescence,”
Health	Psychology
	4	(1994).
54.
	I	interviewed	Ralph	Tarter	in
The	New	York	Times	(Apr
.	26,	1990).
55.
	Tension	levels	in	sons	of	alcoholics:	Howard	Moss	et	al.,	“Plasma	GABA-like	Activity	in
Response	to	Ethanol	Challenge	in	Men	at	High	Risk	for	Alcoholism”
Biological	Psychiatry
27(6)	(Mar.	1990).
56.
	Frontal	lobe	deficit	in	sons	of	alcoholics:	Philip	Harden	and	Robert	Pihl,	“Cognitive
Function,	Cardiovascular	Reactivity,	and	Behavior	in	Boys	at	High	Risk	for	Alcoholism,”
Journal	of	Abnormal	Psychology
	104	(1995).
57.
	Kathleen	Merikangas	et	al.,	“Familial	Transmission	of	Depression	and	Alcoholism,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry	(Apr
.	1985).
58.
	The	restless	and	impulsive	alcoholic:	Moss	et	al.
59.
	Cocaine	and	depression:	Edward	Khantzian,	“Psychiatric	and	Psychodynamic	Factors	in
Cocaine	Addiction,”	in	Arnold	Washton	and	Mark	Gold,	eds.,
Cocaine:	A	Clinician’s
Handbook


Cocaine:	A	Clinician’s
Handbook
	(New	York:	Guilford	Press,	1987).
60.
	Heroin	addiction	and	anger:	Edward	Khantzian,	Harvard	Medical	School,	in	conversation,
based	on	over	200	patients	he	has	treated	who	were	addicted	to	heroin.
61.
	No	more	wars:	The	phrase	was	suggested	to	me	by	Tim	Shriver	of	the	Collaborative	for	the
Advancement	of	Social	and	Emotional	Learning	at	the	Yale	Child	Studies	Center.
62.
	Emotional	impact	of	poverty:	“Economic	Deprivation	and	Early	Childhood	Development”
and	“Poverty	Experiences	of	Young	Children	and	the	Quality	of	Their	Home


Environments.”	Greg	Duncan	and	Patricia	Garrett	each	described	their	research	findings	in
separate	articles	in
Child	Development
	(Apr.	1994).
63.
	Traits	of	resilient	children:	Norman	Garmezy,
The	Invulnerable	Child
	(New	York:	Guilford
Press,	1987).	I	wrote	about	children	who	thrive	despite	hardship	in
The	New	York	Times
(Oct.	13,	1987).
64.
	Prevalence	of	mental	disorders:	Ronald	C.	Kessler	et	al.,	“Lifetime	and	12-month
Prevalence	of	DSM-III-R	Psychiatric	Disorders	in	the	U.S.,”
Archives	of	General	Psychiatry
(Jan.	1994).
65.
	The	figure	for	boys	and	girls	reporting	sexual	abuse	in	the	United	States	are	from	Malcolm
Brown	of	the	Violence	and	Traumatic	Stress	Branch	of	the	National	Institute	of	Mental
Health;	the	number	of	substantiated	cases	is	from	the	National	Committee	for	the
Prevention	of	Child	Abuse	and	Neglect.	A	national	survey	of	children	found	the
rates	to	be
3.2	percent	for	girls	and	0.6	percent	for	boys	in	a	given	year:	David	Finkelhor	and	Jennifer
Dziuba-Leatherman,	“Children	as	Victims	of	Violence:	A	National	Survey,”
Pediatrics
	(Oct.
1984).
66.


Pediatrics
	(Oct.
1984).
66.
	The	national	survey	of	children	about	sexual	abuse	prevention	programs	was	done	by
David	Finkelhor,	a	sociologist	at	the	University	of	New	Hampshire.
67.
	The	figures	on	how	many	victims	child	molesters	have	are	from	an	interview	with
Malcolm	Gordon,	a	psychologist	at	the	Violence	and	Traumatic	Stress	Branch	of	the
National	Institute	of	Mental	Health.
68.
	W.	T.	Grant	Consortium	on	the	School-Based	Promotion	of	Social	Competence,	“Drug	and
Alcohol	Prevention	Curricula,”	in	J.	David	Hawkins	et	al.,
Communities	That	Care
	(San
Francisco:	Jossey-Bass,	1992).
69.
	W.	T.	Grant	Consortium,	“Drug	and	Alcohol	Prevention	Curricula,”	p.	136.
Chapter	16.	Schooling	the	Emotions
			1.
	I	interviewed	Karen	Stone	McCown	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Nov.	7,	1993).
			2.
	Karen	F.	Stone	and	Harold	Q.	Dillehunt,
Self	Science:	The	Subject	Is	Me
	(Santa	Monica:
Goodyear	Publishing	Co.,	1978).
			3.
	Committee	for	Children,	“Guide	to	Feelings,”
Second	Step
	4–5(1992),	p.	84.
			4.


4–5(1992),	p.	84.
			4.
	The	Child	Development	Project:	See,	e.g.,	Daniel	Solomon	et	al.,	“Enhancing	Children’s
Prosocial	Behavior	in	the	Classroom,”
American	Educational	Research	Journal
(Winter
1988).
			5.
	Benefits	from	Head	Start:	Report	by	High/Scope	Educational	Research	Foundation,
Ypsilanti,	Michigan	(Apr.	1993).
			6.
	The	emotional	timetable:	Carolyn	Saarni,	“Emotional	Competence:	How	Emotions	and
Relationships	Become	Integrated,”	in	R.	A.	Thompson,	ed.,
Socioemotional


Development/Nebraska	Symposium	on	Motivation
	36	(1990).
			7.
	The	transition	to	grade	school	and	middle	school:	David	Hamburg,
Today’s	Children:
Creating	a	Future	for	a	Generation	in	Crisis
	(New	York:	Times	Books,	1992).
			8.
	Hamburg,
Today’s	Children
,	pp.	171–72.
			9.
	Hamburg,
Today’s	Children
,	p.	182.
10.
	I	interviewed	Linda	Lantieri	in
The	New	York	Times
	(Mar.	3,	1992).
11.
	Emotional-literacy	programs	as	primary	prevention:	Hawkins	et	al.,
Communities	That	Care
.
12.
	Schools	as	caring	communities:	Hawkins	et	al.,
Communities	That	Care
.
13.
	The	story	of	the	girl	who	was	not	pregnant:	Roger	P.	Weisberg	et	al.,	“Promoting	Positive
Social	Development	and	Health	Practice	in	Young	Urban	Adolescents,”	in	M.	J.	Elias,	ed.,
Social	Decision-making	in	the	Middle	School
	(Gaithersburg,	MD:	Aspen	Publishers,	1992).
14.
	Character-building	and	moral	conduct:	Amitai	Etzioni,
The	Spirit	of	Community	(New
	York:
Crown,	1993).
15.
	Moral	lessons:	Steven	C.	Rockefeller,


15.
	Moral	lessons:	Steven	C.	Rockefeller,
John	Dewey:	Religious	Faith	and	Democratic	Humanism
(New	York:	Columbia	University	Press,	1991).
16.

Doing	right	by	others:	Thomas	Lickona,
Educating	for	Character
	(New	York:	Bantam,	1991).
17.
	The	arts	of	democracy:	Francis	Moore	Lappe	and	Paul	Martin	DuBois,
The	Quickening	of
America
	(San	Francisco:	Jossey-Bass,	1994).
18.
	Cultivating	character:	Amitai	Etzioni	et	al.,
Character	Building	for	a	Democratic,	Civil	Society
(Washington,	DC:	The	Communitarian	Network,	1994).
19.
	Three	percent	rise	in	murder	rates:	“Murders	Across	Nation	Rise	by	3	Percent,	but	Overall
Violent	Crime	Is	Down,”
The	New	York	Times
	(May	2,	1994).
20.
	Jump	in	juvenile	crime:	“Serious	Crimes	by	Juveniles	Soar,”	Associated	Press	(July	25,
1994).
Appendix	B.	Hallmarks	of	the	Emotional	Mind
			1.
	I	have	written	about	Seymour	Epstein’s	model	of	the	“experiential	unconscious”	on
several	occasions	in
The	New	York	Times
,	and	much	of	this	summary	of	it	is	based	on


,	and	much	of	this	summary	of	it	is	based	on
conversations	with	him,	letters	to	me,	his	article,	“Integration	of	the	Cognitive	and
Psychodynamic	Unconscious”
(American	Psychologist
	44	(1994),	and	his	book	with	Archie
Brodsky,
You’re	Smarter	Than	You	Think
	(New	York:	Simon	&	Schuster,	1993).	While	his
model	of	the	experiential	mind	informs	my	own	about	the	“emotional	mind,”	I	have	made
my	own	interpretation.
			2.
	Paul	Ekman,	“An	Argument	for	the	Basic	Emotions,”
Cognition	and	Emotion
,	6,	1992,	p.
175.	The	list	of	traits	that	distinguish	emotions	is	a	bit	longer,	but	these	are	the	traits	that
will	concern	us	here.


3.
	Ekman,	op	cit.,	p.	187.
			4.
	Ekman,	op	cit.,	p.	189.
			5.
	Epstein,	1993,	p.	55.
			6.
	J.	Toobey	and	L.	Cosmides,	“The	Past	Explains	the	Present:	Emotional	Adaptations	and
the	Structure	of	Ancestral	Environments,”
Ethology	and	Sociobiology
,	11,	pp.	418–19.
			7.
	While	it	may	seem	self-evident	that	each	emotion	has	its	own	biological	pattern,	it	has	not
been	so	for	those	studying	the	psychophysiology	of	emotion.	A	highly	technical	debate
continues	over	whether	emotional	arousal	is	basically	the	same	for	all	emotions,	or
whether	unique	patterns	can	be	teased	out.	Without	going	into	the	details	of	the	debate,	I
have	presented	the	case	for	those	who	hold	to	unique	biological	profiles	for	each	major
emotion.


Also	by	Daniel	Goleman
THE	MEDITATIVE	MIND
VITAL	LIES,	SIMPLE	TRUTHS
WORKING	WITH	EMOTIONAL	INTELLIGENCE
PRIMAL	LEADERSHIP	(COAUTHOR)
DESTRUCTIVE	EMOTIONS	(NARRATOR)
SOCIAL	INTELLIGENCE


About	the	Author
DANIEL	GOLEMAN,	Ph.D.,	is	also	the	author	of
Social	Intelligence
	and
the	bestseller
Working	with	Emotional	Intelligence
	and	a	coauthor	of
Primal	Leadership
.	He	received	his	Ph.D.	from	Harvard	and	reported	on
the	brain	and	behavioral	sciences	for	the
New	York	Times
	for	twelve
years.	He	was	awarded	the	American	Psychological	Association’s
Lifetime	Achievement	Award	and	is	a	Fellow	of	the	American
Association	for	the	Advancement	of	Science.


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