true nature fades into the background Over time it gets harder and harder to recall who we are and what we want separate from anxiety or believe there is another way to live Yet possible to break free You can go your own way do your own you can be the boss of the anxiety Take the example of Mateo a high school football player I worked with in my psychotherapy practice A gifted athlete Mateo was nonetheless consumed by anxiety regarding his performance on the field Over time this anxiety stopped him from going on the practice field at all which only increased his anxiety and negative feelings about himself Not practicing meant his skills improving Mateo worried recruiters see what he could do and all would be lost I suggested to him know really anxious right now Your anxiety is telling you to stay home and give up on your dream of getting a football scholarship You believe you have to do what the anxiety tells you But you have to listen in charge not the anxiety You could go to practice while you feel anxious At first Mateo like many of us remained stuck on the idea