first place Telling yourself a weak loser for a feeling you help but experience is a particularly harsh torment Take for example Tanisha a client from my practice When Tanisha became overwhelmed by sadness or anger as a child her parents would immediately dismiss her coldly telling her to over and that she was sensitive Eventually whenever she felt hurt lonely overwhelmed or full of she learned to tell herself the same wrong with and over it no one and you be cool and keep your feelings together like everyone By the time she was an adult Tanisha had layers of unaddressed negative emotions that came out in the form of crushing panic attacks We eliminate anger and sadness but we can control how open and kind we are to ourselves when we experience these feelings The next strategies are designed to help you let go of judgment and allow your feelings to surface JUDGING ANGER By changing your anger associations or judgments you can be at ease with the emotion Take a moment to consider what you associate with memories from your childhood adult experiences Write down in your notebook four or five specific words you associate with anger