the most of the sunshine in your suit and poised on the edge of the water looking as if you are ready to dive in and join them But in reality frozen with indecision Yes part of you wants to jump in You want to make the most of life and enjoy connection with others At the same time a big part of you dreads the shock of the water stuck You see others enjoying the pool laughing and frolicking freely You however stand on the side You feel alone You feel different You pace You sit down You start to imagine people are staring at you and your anxiety increases You go back and forth in your I jump Or You nurture your initial impulse to avoid the cold water with more avoidance As a result your fear grows stronger Finally you decide to sit out the pool experience You feel instant relief but feelings of and isolation soon arise Your decision to avoid limits your enjoyment your spontaneity and your social life because your fear has taken control The swimming pool is a simple example but there are many ways we avoid what we We avoid by indecision