by not showing up by not following through on commitments by distracting ourselves with meaningless activities by making excuses and rationalizations No longer avoiding what you fear means paying attention to how you feel not just at the moment you avoid but over the longer term Sure avoidance brings a temporary dreading facing my boss today ah going to call in sick what a relief to not have to deal with that The temporary relief reinforces the tendency to avoid But the reprieve is almost always New anxiety creeps in and takes over What felt like the sweet taste of freedom becomes bitter with thoughts about the consequences your avoidance may bring What will your boss think of you for not showing What if you get How will you pay your Are your colleagues criticizing you for not coming Far from relaxing and enjoying a day off spinning back and forth in your mind Eventually all that anxiety keeps you stuck in you go to work not only that day but also the next day and perhaps even thenext Now you likely have actual negative consequences to face Avoidance feels protective in the short term but in the longer term