experience of difficult emotions only increases negative emotion The Chinese finger trap is a small woven cylinder that children often enjoy You place a finger in each end of the cylinder pull and unexpectedly your fingers are trapped Trying to become unstuck the inexperienced immediately attempt to pull their fingers out The harder they pull the tighter the tubebecomes evoking fear and even a little panic The Push the fingers toward the center of the tube The tube becomes slightly bigger and then it is easy to wiggle the fingers out When we continually push away and avoid our experiences we become increasingly afraid of the negative Over time we stop knowing our feelings altogether Even pleasant experiences like joy become blocked We are no longer present but instead live in a survival state waiting for the next shoe to drop This existence leaves us with an emotional blind spot After all if completely focused on bailing water out of a sinking boat you might not notice the life preserver at your side In my case spending time processing and ultimately accepting my genetic cancer risk as a reality led to the decision to undergo an elective mastectomy with literal