the upset in an internal vacuum which results in overthinking and a sense that we turn our mind off Without a release valve all those negative doomsday thoughts just keep bouncing around inside our heads Take the example of Zander a typical patient in my psychotherapy practice who is grief struck by the death of a loved one Instead of expressing his feelings and allowing himself to be openly sad he suppresses his pain Seemingly out of nowhere Zander finds himself obsessing about the details of the loved medical expenses funeral and the now that the loved one is deceased Over time his world becomes smaller and smaller He is afraid to go out and spends most of his time at home ruminating through negative events by mentally replaying them again and Another example is Valentina who after her divorce blocks the normal feelings of anger loss and sadness and instead becomes obsessively focused on her weight She replays in her mind what she did or eat that day plans her next meal imagines herself larger or smaller In this way she occupies her mind to avoid confronting the hurt and upset of the divorce The avoidance only increases the